Dusting off one of my old ideas this week.

https://wrestlingrumors.net/kbs-review-reviewing-review-fastlane-2017/

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 6, 2017
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Commentators: Michael Cole, Byron Saxton, Corey Graves

So Fastlane was last night and I’m kind of at a loss for anything positive to say about it. Roman Reigns beat Braun Strowman clean, Charlotte’s pay per view streak was broken in a weird moment where Sasha Banks cheated to help Bayley and then Kevin Owens lost the Universal Title to Goldberg in 22 seconds. If that sounds bad, imagine Chicago getting to react to it. Let’s get to it.

We open with a quick recap of last night’s main event. How quick can a recap be when the match is 22 seconds long?

Here’s Chris Jericho to get us going, which is the absolute best thing they could do to keep the crowd from turning on the show. Tonight is the rebirth of Chris Jericho because last night at Fastlane he screwed Kevin Owens out of the Universal Title. A few weeks ago, Owens took a knife and he stuck it in man.

Jericho wants Owens out here right now so here’s Kevin. Owens starts to talk but Jericho immediately cuts him off and wants to know why he was stabbed in the back. Kevin says there was no stabbing in the back because they were never best friends. Remember who his best friend used to be? Sami Zayn, who Owens stabbed in the back as he would do over and over again.

Jericho is just a tool and Owens did whatever he could to keep the Universal Title. Chris was there to watch his back because he knew what to expect but he was also gullible. Then Jericho outlived his usefulness by accepting the match against Goldberg on Kevin’s behalf. Last night Goldberg would have been outsmarted but Jericho got the better of Kevin last night.

Jericho calls trusting Owens the worst thing he ever could have done but now he has friends around this arena. Chris: “I’ve got the friends of Jericho! CHEER ME ON MAN!” Jericho isn’t done with Owens though because last night was the beginning of a road that ends at Wrestlemania. The match is made but since the show is in a month, let’s have a fight right now. Owens comes down to the ring for the brawl until Samoa Joe comes in to jump Jericho. Sami Zayn runs out with a chair for the save and house is cleaned. I heartily approve of every single thing that happened here.

Sami Zayn vs. Kevin Owens

I had the tag match written up but I sit here surprised. Sami hammers away to start and sends him outside for a kick to the chest. One heck of a flip dive (over the referee) takes Owens out but he comes back in with the Pop Up Powerbomb for no cover. Instead he hits a brainbuster onto the knee, followed by a second Pop Up Powerbomb for the pin at 3:54.

Rating: C-. It was fun while it lasted but this was just a step above a squash. It’s not like Sami has anything to do right now but I could go for a match like this being a little longer than four minutes. Sami’s dive was cool but I’m not sure why this needed to be so short. At least Owens gets some heat back after last night.

Cruiserweight Title: Rich Swann vs. Neville

Neville is defending. After the handshake, Swann wastes no time in going after the champ and pounds him out to the floor. Neville is right back though and sends him head first into the LED apron for a thud. Back from a break with Swann getting out of a chinlock as the AUSTIN ARIES chants strike up. Swann sends him outside and hits a bit flip dive off the top (Aries: “Was that a swan dive?”) but gets crotched back inside.

The superplex knocks Swann silly but he’s able to roll outside before the Rings of Saturn can go on. Back from another break with Swann getting in a German suplex and kicking Neville in the head for a close two. Another kick to the head sets up the Phoenix Splash but Swann only hits mat, setting up the Rings of Saturn to retain the title at 13:33.

Rating: B-. The lack of drama and abundance of commercials hurt this a lot but Neville is just nailing it right now. He looks unbeatable, which should mean that it’s time for the Greatest Man that Ever Lived to get his shot. I’ve liked Neville more than almost anyone else in WWE as of late and I look forward to seeing him every week.

Post match Aries goes into the ring for an interview with Neville but the fans cut him off with the AUSTIN ARIES chants. Neville says he’s laid waste to pretender after pretender and there’s no one left on 205 Live to challenge him. Aries makes sure he understood that: there’s no one that can challenge Neville?

The fans chant for Aries and he actually acknowledges them for a change, which isn’t cool with the champ. Neville gets in his face so Aries takes off the sunglasses and Neville keeps at it until Aries has a question for him. Actually it’s more of a statement and that means a big left hand to Neville. A discus forearm puts Neville on the floor to a MASSIVE pop.

Enzo and Big Cass get in Cesaro and Sheamus’ face for some short form trash talk.

Here’s Goldberg and EGADS the booing starts when the music stops. Goldberg holds up the title and says it belongs to the people as much as it belongs to him. Goldberg says he has information he’s never mentioned before but the CM PUNK chants start up. He kind of rolls with them but here’s Paul Heyman instead. Heyman knows he’s not man enough to get in the ring with Goldberg but he knows someone who is.

Cue Brock Lesnar for the staredown with Heyman saying that no one is happier for Goldberg than Lesnar himself. Only one of them can walk out as the winner because the other will walk out of Wrestlemania as the loser. Lesnar extends his hand as Goldberg looks at Lesnar, meaning it’s an F5 for the new champ. This still flat out does not need the title involved.

Tag Team Titles: Enzo Amore and Big Cass vs. Anderson and Gallows

Enzo and Cass are challenging after Amore’s foot was pushed off the ropes to end their title shot last night. Cass runs over Gallows and the champs are sent to the floor. They’re smart enough to move before Enzo can dive though and here come Sheamus and Cesaro. Back with Amore in trouble but grabbing a tornado DDT. A suicide dive takes Gallows out again but Enzo spills Cesaro’s coffee. That’s enough to draw Cesaro and Sheamus in for the DQ at 6:53.

Rating: D. I’m so over this feud and I have a bad feeling that we’re going to be getting a triple threat title match at Wrestlemania for reasons that still aren’t clear. I don’t know who would want to see that match, which is why we’re so likely to see it. If Amore and Cass win the belts there then it’s going to be worthy of a great pop but there’s nothing to look forward to on the way.

Cesaro and Sheamus clean house post match which might set up a triple threat.

Rick Rude Hall of Fame announcement.

Post break Foley breaks up Amore/Cass and Cesaro/Sheamus from fighting in the back. They’ll have a #1 contenders match next week. Everyone seems happy so HERE’S FREAKING STEPHANIE to tell Mick to go come to her office.

Ariya Daivari vs. Akira Tozawa

Daivari takes him down to start so Tozawa shouts a lot and sends Daivari to the floor for a suicide dive. Back in and the snap German suplex ends Daivari at 2:08.

Tozawa says he wants to fight Brian Kendrick but Brian comes out and says be careful what you wish for.

New Day vs. Shining Stars

Before the match, New day shows off their ice cream cart and say they can now host a lot of things, including a beating for the Shining Stars. A butterfly gutbuster puts Kofi down to start and Big E. is knocked off the apron. The Stars go after the ice cream cart but Big E. is there for the save. The Midnight Hour wraps up Primo at 1:18.

Women’s History Month video on Trish Stratus and Lita.

Foley is in the ring to introduce Bayley. The champ is glad to have retained the title but she doesn’t feel right about how she kept it last night. She had wanted Sasha Banks to stay in the back but something else happened instead. When she was a kid, her calendar began and ended with Wrestlemania and now she’s going to the show but she doesn’t feel right about it.

Foley asks who she’ll be defending the title against (Shouldn’t he be telling her?) but here’s Sasha to interrupt. She wants the shot and Bayley seems to agree but Foley asks for the people’s opinion. Cue Charlotte and Dana Brooke to say this was the plan all along. Whoever lost at Roadblock wasn’t supposed to get a second chance and now Banks is pulling this. Charlotte blames Foley and says she’s the victim because she was robbed.

Cue Stephanie to say she’s the boss (yes Stephanie you haven’t made that clear enough yet) and call out the fans for being losers like CM Punk. Stephanie makes Charlotte #1 contender but Mick says you can’t leave the Boss out. Stephanie: “Mick, who is the boss?” Mick suggests Charlotte vs. Banks for the #1 contendership next week but Stephanie has a better idea (well duh): Bayley vs. Sasha right now and if Sasha wins, the title match at Wrestlemania is a triple threat.

Sasha Banks vs. Bayley

Non-title. Banks takes her to the mat to start and gets two off a rollup. Bayley gets the same off an armdrag and they stare each other down a bit. Sasha hiptosses her into the corner as Charlotte keeps complaining about how she was cheated last night (completely true). A hard chop staggers Bayley and a wristdrag out of the corner sends her outside. They don’t seem to want to hut each other here. Back in and a hard clothesline drops Bayley as we take a break.

We come back with the slow pace continuing and a camera shot of the announcers’ desk instead of the ring. Bayley can’t get the suplex but here are Charlotte and Dana to ringside. Banks misses the middle rope knees in the corner, followed by Bayley missing a high crossbody. The Bank Statement goes on and Sasha kicks Charlotte off the apron as Bayley taps at 13:00.

Rating: D+. Hey we want some triple threats! I get why they flat out can’t leave Charlotte out of the match but what in the world is the point in booking Bayley like this? She became one of the biggest stars in NXT history by being an underdog so now she’s having her friends help her win title matches and losing in a match to set up a triple threat because Stephanie and Foley are still fighting. And people wonder why this show makes people’s heads shake.

Charlotte takes Sasha out post match.

Roman Reigns says if Braun Strowman wants to even the score, he’ll be in the middle of the ring at the end of the show.

Video on Seth Rollins rehabbing his knee.

HHH joins us via satellite to talk about how great WWE’s medical program is and hopes that Rollins will listen to the experts. He’s been called many things over the years but everyone knows he’s always been the man. Why Rollins can’t use his head and stay away isn’t clear but if HHH has to do something about it, so be it.

Emma is coming. Graves: “Not this again!”

Samoa Joe vs. Chris Jericho

Non-title with Owens and Zayn banned from ringside. Joe takes him into the corner to start and stomps away before a quick crossbody gives Chris two. The Walls are quickly countered so Jericho settles for an enziguri. A dropkick puts Joe on the floor and Jericho baseball slides to the floor….right into the Koquina Clutch. Joe grabs the hold on the floor and it’s a countout at 3:55.

Rating: D+. Again it was fun while it lasted but was this really the best idea? The champ just got choked completely out and lost the match because Joe was better. It’s a great way to push Joe but Jericho looked like he was in over his head here. Eh to be fair though it’s not like the US Title has meant anything lately anyway.

Joe goes after Jericho again and takes a Codebreaker. That helps the result a good bit.

Here’s Strowman to finish what he started last night. Roman’s music starts but is quickly replaced by a gong because here comes Undertaker. The fans are WAY into this staredown but Braun bails into the crowd as the fans cheer for Undertaker. As Undertaker goes to leave, cue Reigns for the real staredown. The fans aren’t quite as into this and boo Reigns out of the building as he says this isn’t about Undertaker. Reigns says it’s his yard now (that’s all this match needed to set it up) and that earns him a chokeslam. We get a shot of the Wrestlemania logo over Undertaker’s shoulder before he walks out to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This show started off white hot and then cooled WAY down. They were brilliant to start this off with Jericho and Owens because it’s the hottest feud in the company right now and the thing people want to see. The rest of the first hour was good stuff too with Neville vs. Aries as a highlight. After that it was mainly business as usual but it was nowhere near as bad as it usually gets. I had a good time with this one and you can really see how utterly worthless Fastlane was. That show was a mess and worthless while this one was energetic and built towards Wrestlemania. Raw wins, which you don’t say often.

Results

Kevin Owens b. Sami Zayn – Pop Up Powerbomb

Neville b. Rich Swann – Rings of Saturn

Anderson and Gallows b. Enzo Amore/Big Cass via DQ when Cesaro interfered

New Day b. Shining Stars – Midnight Hour to Primo

Sasha Banks b. Bayley – Bank Statement

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Fastlane 2017
Date: March 5, 2017
Location: Bradley Center, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Commentators: Michael Cole, Byron Saxton, Corey Graves

It’s the final show before Wrestlemania XXXIII and it’s fairly clear that this is just a way to fill in time before Orlando. The main event is Kevin Owens defending the Universal Title against Goldberg, which has a serious chance of being a squash. Of course it also has the chance of Chris Jericho interfering and costing his former friend the title. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Noam Dar/Brian Kendrick vs. Akira Tozawa/Rich Swann

Take two feuds (Kendrick vs. Tozawa/Swann vs. Dar) and throw them into one match. Tozawa starts firing off the kicks early on with Dar barely able to keep up. It’s off to Swann for the stereo dives but Kendrick and Dar hide behind Alicia Fox before anything can happen to them.

Back from a break with Swann in trouble as Dar and Kendrick take turns working on the arm. Kendrick chokes in the corner with his boot before it’s back to Dar for a more standard armbar. Swann finally sends Noam into the corner and it’s time for the hot tag to Tozawa. Now the double dives work just fine and Kendrick eats a Shining Wizard. Swann kicks Dar down and it’s a snap German suplex into the Phoenix splash to put Noam away at 9:21.

Rating: C+. This was exactly what this pre-show match is supposed to be as the cruiserweights did their usual high spots and fast paced offense to wake the fans up. Dar taking the pin makes sense as he can just do one of his annoying promos to get back on the annoying side where he belongs.

The opening video talks about how important it is to have momentum on the way to Wrestlemania while looking at the major matches. Strowman vs. Reigns doesn’t warrant a major mention though.

Sami Zayn vs. Samoa Joe

This has a lot of potential. Joe debuted a few weeks back and talked about earning his spot here instead of being all happy to be here like Zayn. Feeling out process to start with Sami avoiding for a few moments until a big kick to the chest puts him down. The kneebar doesn’t work just yet but Joe does get in an enziguri in the corner to really knock Sami silly. A surfboard hold makes things even worse for Zayn but he flips over onto Joe for two. Sami tries to get all fired up so Joe spinwheel kicks the leg to put him right back down.

A quick (and better than expected) Blue Thunder Bomb gets two on Joe but the offense ends there as Joe boots him in the chest again. The backsplash gets two and Sami is all shaken up. He still manages a small package, only to have to escape a MuscleBuster. Not that it matters as Joe enziguris him again but can’t get a superplex. Instead Joe is sent face first into the buckle but he still Grabs Sami in the STO out of the corner. The Koquina Clutch ends Zayn at 9:13.

Rating: B. Sami passing out in the hold after fighting with everything he had was exactly what this needed to be. Joe is still establishing himself on the roster and a match where he’s able to fight off everything Sami throws at him and then choke him out for the win is a great start. Sami will be just fine though as he always is and that’s one of his major strengths: you can have him lose so many times and just a single win gets him right back on track.

Bayley isn’t worried about Dana Brooke having Charlotte’s back tonight. If Charlotte is the champion she claims to be, she’ll face Bayley one on one. Nia Jax comes up and says if Charlotte doesn’t take the title, she will.

Tag Team Titles: Enzo Amore/Big Cass vs. Anderson and Gallows

Enzo and Cass beat Sheamus and Cesaro to earn this shot. Before the match we get some cheap pops from Enzo and Cass about the local sports teams (that will always work) and a few jabs at the champs’ bald heads. Cass slugs away on Anderson to start before Amore does the big dive onto both champions. Anderson gets in a running knee to the head though and Gallows throws in a double Too Sweet to remind us of more entertaining groups gone by.

It’s off to the chinlock before Amore manages to get Gallows outside. That’s not enough for the hot tag though as Anderson knees him in the face. Anderson misses a charge in the corner though and it’s the hot tag to Big Cass. House is quickly cleaned and the Bada Boom Shaka Lacka looks to finish, only to have Gallows make the last second save. A running knee to Enzo is enough for the pin to retain at 9:00 with Gallows shoving the boot off the ropes.

Rating: D+. Just a Raw match here as you almost had to expect from this one. It wasn’t very entertaining but that’s the standard for the tag division anymore. Why would I care about the match when the build has been almost non-existent and neither team is really all that interesting in the first place?

Stephanie’s plane is stuck on the tarmac so Mick Foley is in charge tonight. She yells at him for telling her to relax. She’s going to stay on the phone with him for the rest of the show but as luck would have it, Mick accidentally hangs up on her.

We recap Nia Jax vs. Sasha Banks. Jax beat on Banks for a few months while exploiting Sasha’s bad knee. This match is taking place because Banks said she would be in Bayley’s corner later tonight, which wasn’t cool with Stephanie.

Nia Jax vs. Sasha Banks

Banks tries some dropkicks to start but a hard whip into the corner cuts her off in a hurry. A backbreaker makes things even worse and Nia runs her over again for good measure. Nia cranks on both arms before getting kicked in the head for the break. It’s off to a torture rack (great visual with Sasha bent bent around like that) and Nia even does some squats for good measure.

Banks spins out into most of a guillotine before a faceplant sets up the Bank Statement. The crowd gets WAY into this for a second but Jax easily powers free. A Faarooq style spinebuster sets up a legdrop to Banks’ back and it’s time to gloat. Nia gloats a bit too long though and a quick rollup into a bridge gives Sasha the pin at 9:21.

Rating: C+. This is the formula I was expecting out of Sami vs. Joe actually but the ending was a big surprise. I like the idea of Banks getting the win here as it gives her some momentum back while also making Jax look vulnerable for a change. I’m sure there’s going to be a rematch and Jax can run her over there, presumably setting up the Wrestlemania match a bit more.

Earlier tonight, Mick Foley gave Jinder Mahal and Rusev singles matches because they want to end their team.

Mahal and Rusev come out for their matches but get in a fight with Mahal actually getting the better of things.

Cesaro vs. Jinder Mahal

Mahal is in early trouble and a backbreaker gives Cesaro an early two. He seems to have hurt his back though and can’t get the apron superplex. A dropkick to the back gets two on Cesaro and a running knee gets the same. The slow beating continues until Mahal’s suplex is reversed to give Cesaro a breather. Cesaro hits the Uppercut Train and the Swiss 1 9 (oh give me a break) makes things even worse. Jinder breaks up the Swing but gets in a staredown with Rusev, allowing the pop up uppercut to end Mahal at 8:33.

Rating: D+. The wrestling was fine but my goodness this was one of the least interesting ideas I could possibly think of. Mahal was never interesting either as a singles guy or as a tag wrestler but we’re supposed to be interested in seeing him on a pay per view in a singles match? It’s nice to see Cesaro win something for a change though.

Rusev beats Mahal up post match and here’s his opponent.

Big Show vs. Rusev

You would have expected Sheamus here no? Rusev has gotten one heck of a haircut. The USA chants begin as Show chokes in the corner and then on the ropes. A headbutt makes things even worse and the Final Cut gets two on the Bulgarian. Show clotheslines him a few times as this has been completely one sided.

Rusev finally takes out the knee and it’s off to a leglock as the fans keep chanting USA. A shot to Rusev’s face breaks the hold (Graves: “This could be devastating to his handsome status!”) and he bails to the floor. Back in and the chokeslam is broken up, followed by a trio of superkicks for two. The Accolade is broken up though and a chokeslam plants Rusev for no cover. There’s a second and third chokeslam followed by the KO Punch for the pin on Rusev at 9:38.

Rating: D. I’m assuming this was a way to help set up Big Show vs. Shaquille O’Neal at Wrestlemania, even though they keep hinting that the match isn’t happening for some reason. Rusev was completely squashed here, but what do you expect after he was attacked by the likes of Jinder Mahal earlier?

Kevin Owens doesn’t think anything of Goldberg because Goldberg has won a single match in about ten years. He’s not wrong you know. It doesn’t matter who he faces because he’ll keep the title as long as he wants.

Austin Aries package with Aries making some package jokes before and after.

Cruiserweight Title: Neville vs. Jack Gallagher

Neville is defending after Jack won a five way for the shot. Gallagher starts the mind games by doing the headstand in the corner a few times to really confuse the champ. A dropkick puts Neville on the floor but he snaps Gallagher throat first across the top rope to take over. Neville’s reverse chinlock doesn’t last long as Gallagher comes back with forearms to the head, followed by a suicide dive of all things. The announcers make sure to point out how rare that is for him in a rare nice job.

Back in and a superplex gets two on the champ but he comes back with something like a Stroke. Jack is sent chest first into the ropes though and a wicked snap German knocks Gallagher silly. A middle rope Phoenix splash is only good for two though and Jack gets in the headbutt.

Another headbutt puts Neville down and Gallagher falls on top for two. The running corner dropkick misses but Gallagher breaks up the superplex attempt. Another very, very hard headbutt knocks Neville down on the top but he throws Jack down in a huge crash. The Red Arrow retains the title at 12:08.

Rating: B. This was WAY better than I was expecting and this was by far and away the best match on the show. I had a lot of fun with it as Gallagher was doing his thing here and showing that he has the chops to hang in the ring. That being said, when Neville turns it on, no one can hang with him and it’s really not even close. I loved this match and it was by far and away the best thing on the show so far.

Paul Heyman doesn’t care if Goldberg or Owens wins tonight because Brock Lesnar wins no matter what. If Goldberg wins, their match is now a title match. If Owens wins, Lesnar will have a plan on how to beat Goldberg.

Here’s New Day with a bicycle powered ice cream cart. When they had an idea for a cereal, all they had was a t-shirt and a dream. Then they heard the voices…..Big E.: “I HEAR VOICES IN MY HEAD! THEY TALK TO ME……”. Now they stand before you again with a new t-shirt and a dream but Big E. starts trying to sing again. Woods and Kofi think he’s been sipping on something but now there’s an opportunity. The fans have a chance to have their voices heard and it’s all about this New Day bike. They’re riding it all the way down the Road to Wrestlemania and….that’s it. There’s no followup to it and we’re done.

We recap Braun Strowman vs. Roman Reigns. Strowman wants competition and has attacked Reigns a few times so here’s the big showdown.

Braun Strowman vs. Roman Reigns

Reigns’ shoes are white on the bottom and it’s very distracting. Is he supposed to be a white feet babyface? Strowman shoves him into the corner to start but Reigns smiles at a shot to the mouth. A clothesline puts Strowman over the top but he pulls Reigns outside and sends him into the steps. Strowman gets in a spinebuster to start in on the ribs and a huge beal sends Reigns flying.

Roman can’t get him in a fireman’s carry so Strowman grabs his own Samoan drop. A splash sets up a chinlock and they head outside again with Strowman loading up the announcers’ table. That goes nowhere and Strowman goes shoulder first into the post to give Reigns his first real opening. The Samoan drop gets two but Strowman pops back up with the powerbomb into a faceplant for two of his own. A missed charge sends Strowman outside though and he comes up holding his knee.

Reigns gives chase (he’s got the shoes for it) and gets powerslammed through the table for his efforts. Strowman can’t follow up because of the knee though and Reigns gets in a spear for two. Some Superman Punches stagger Braun again but he punches Reigns down (fans: “THANK YOU STROWMAN!”). Braun goes up (Cole: “GET DOWN FROM THERE STROWMAN!”) but misses a top rope splash, setting up a spear to give Reigns the pin at 17:13.

Rating: B+. I’m very split on this one because it’s a heck of a match but WHAT IN THE WORLD WAS THE POINT IN BUILDING STROWMAN UP LIKE THAT TO HAVE HIM LOSE HERE??? That’s the big shine taken away from Strowman for the sake of another chorus of groaning from the crowd because HAHA REIGNS WINS AGAIN. This actually sucked the life out of me and that’s hard to do after a great match. Yes it was great because they let Reigns be a superhero (with white shoes) but there was no reason for Reigns to win clean here, period.

Foley tells Samoa Joe to stay out of the main event or face the consequences.

We recap Bayley vs. Charlotte. Bayley won the title last month and Charlotte is getting her pay per view rematch. The idea is Bayley can win on Raw but Charlotte always wins when the lights are on bright.

Women’s Title: Bayley vs. Charlotte

Bayley is defending and Charlotte steps in front of Dana Brooke, much to Dana’s chagrin. Charlotte takes her to the mat for an early two and Bayley gets the same off La Majistral. They head outside with Bayley grabbing a hurricanrana off the apron, followed by a high crossbody for two. Bayley gets caught in the ropes though and Charlotte drops a knee to take over. We hit the figure four necklock followed by a legdrop to give Charlotte two.

We’re in a rather slow pace here but Charlotte picks it up a bit with the moonsault for two. Bayley pops right back up and gets in a belly to back suplex for a near fall of her own. It’s off to the Tree of Woe with Bayley COMPLETELY missing the springboard elbow to the point where neither the fans nor the announcers reacted to it. The thing really was that bad.

They both head to the corner and I don’t see this ending well. Charlotte knocks her back into the ring but Bayley is right there with a forearm to the head to set up a much better looking hurricanrana. Now it’s Bayley going up for a top rope elbow and another near fall as this is already starting to get better. Charlotte kicks the knee out but can’t hook the Figure Four just yet.

Bayley is sent into the barricade but here’s Sasha Banks to break up the moonsault. The distraction lets Bayley get in the Bayley to Belly on the floor (it’s not clear if she saw Sasha) but Charlotte gets in a small package with a handful of tights. Sasha tells the ref though and there’s no count, allowing another Bayley to Belly to finish Charlotte off at 16:42.

Rating: C+. The tights thing is fine but there was no reason for Banks to be down there in the first place. It certainly feels like we’re planting the seeds for a heel turn though as Banks came out there when she wasn’t needed (it’s not like Bayley was done or anything) and cheated. I’m not sure why it wasn’t a DQ and it’s a very lame way to have Charlotte lose her first pay per view title match.

Bayley points at the sign and Sasha cheers her on.

We recap Seth Rollins and HHH’s segment on Raw.

We recap Goldberg vs. Kevin Owens. Goldberg beat Brock Lesnar at Survivor Series and now he’s the #1 contender. Owens is just kind of there but he’s cranked up the evil in recent weeks so there’s some doubt to this one.

Universal Title: Kevin Owens vs. Goldberg

Owens is defending. Goldberg gets a nice pop but Owens gets a louder one when his music hits (though it dies very quickly). Owens bails to the floor before the bell and it’s now 11:00, meaning a show with a JINDER MAHAL match added is getting an overrun. Kevin gets to the apron two more times and bails again both times. Owens finally gets in, Jericho comes out for a distraction, spear, Jackhammer, new champion in 22 seconds.

I’m not even mad really. Everyone and their mother knew Goldberg was getting the title here and defending it against Lesnar at Wrestlemania (because of course) but that makes it worse in a way. The whole “GOLDBERG IS STILL UNSTOPPABLE” thing was fun once but much like giving the Rock the title in 2013, it feels completely unnecessary. Tell me how Goldberg vs. Lesnar is better with the title on the line. If you can somehow make that work, this makes sense. Unfortunately, that’s simply not the case and it makes for a very uninteresting Wrestlemania main event. At least there was a distraction though, which does help.

Overall Rating: D+. This is a great, great example of a show where the booking completely overshadows the wrestling (which ranged from Raw levels to very, very good). Look at the last hour and fifteen minutes. Reigns wins clean, Bayley wins in a booking decision that makes Charlotte the underdog and Goldberg is now World Champion after having wrestled less than two minutes in twelve years. I don’t know if Goldberg is capable of wrestling a long match (it would honestly surprise me given the circumstances) but can you imagine if they do this at Wrestlemania with the prices people are paying for those seats? This could be your main event? Goldberg vs. Lesnar going 90 seconds?

The rest of the show really wasn’t anything noteworthy and a lot of this felt like it could have happened on Raw. Other than that Charlotte’s pay per view loss and the title change, what felt like it belonged on a pay per view? Fastlane really didn’t need to be a pay per view but we have to have something to get those free subscriptions right? Bad night, though check out Reigns vs. Strowman and the Cruiserweight match.

Results

Samoa Joe b. Sami Zayn – Koquina Clutch

Anderson and Gallows b. Enzo Amore/Big Cass – Running knee to Amore

Sasha Banks b. Nia Jax – Rollup

Cesaro b. Jinder Mahal – Pop up uppercut

Big Show b. Rusev – KO Punch

Neville b. Jack Gallagher – Red Arrow

Roman Reigns b. Braun Strowman – Spear

Bayley b. Charlotte – Bayley to Belly

Goldberg b. Kevin Owens – Jackhammer

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

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It’s time for the final pit stop on the Road to Wrestlemania because “Monday Night Raw” has to have its own pay per view because “Smackdown Live” did as well. I’ve made no secret of the fact that I have little interest in seeing this show and I’m worried about how the main event is going to go. There’s some interesting stuff on the card though so hopefully that outweighs the bad. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Akira Tozawa/Rich Swann vs. Brian Kendrick/Noam Dar

It’s a double feud match and there’s nothing wrong with that. The “205 Live” crew has taken a hit in recent weeks as there just isn’t much going on aside from whatever Neville is doing that week. However, there’s some hope in the Tozawa vs. Kendrick feud and Swann is still one of the most entertaining people on the roster so maybe he and Dar/Alicia Fox can do something entertaining soon enough.

As for the winners, I’ll take Swann pinning Dar but this isn’t a case where the winners really matter that much. This match is about getting the crowd ready for the show and the cruiserweights are some of the best possible options to do just that. It probably won’t be a classic or anything but it really doesn’t need to be, which is perfectly fine.

Cruiserweight Title: Neville vs. Jack Gallagher

We’ll stick with the cruiserweight them as Neville defends against his fellow countryman. Neville has turned into one of the best performers on the roster with this new King of the Cruiserweights character as he’s just channeling the hatred and anger so well. Gallagher is a scrappy guy who has looked very solid in the ring at times, though he’s much more over for his character and abilities with an umbrella.

That being said, I don’t buy Gallagher as having a chance in this one. Neville is just on a different level than anyone else in the division and Gallagher is only a step above a comedy character. In theory we’ll be seeing Austin Aries making his cruiserweight division debut and facing Neville for the title at “Wrestlemania XXXIII”, making this match little more than just a warmup for Neville.

Sasha Banks vs. Nia Jax

This one depends on what you think they’re going to be doing later on in the show with Bayley vs. Charlotte. On paper, this seems to be a way to set up Banks’ heel turn on Bayley later in the night, which would suggest that Jax beats her and Banks gets upset that Bayley wasn’t there in her corner. This would certainly follow the theory that if you’re about to turn heel, you must lose every match beforehand.

Yeah Banks loses here and WWE continues to sit around wondering why the pops get weaker every time. In theory this helps to set up the four way at “Wrestlemania XXXIII” for the title but that means we have three heels and Bayley for the title. Banks seems primed for a heel turn and since WWE is rather odd at times (read as almost all the time), she’s likely to lose in a huge way on pay per view.

Tag Team Titles: Enzo Amore/Big Cass vs. Gallows and Anderson

Is anyone else starting to get a little tired of Amore’s schtick? He’s described himself as a heel character and it’s starting to show more and more. Unfortunately along with that goes a lot of the spark the team has to offer, which means there’s less and less value in them winning the belts. It seems that we’re getting ready for a Big Cass singles push and that might be better for everyone.

Considering that, PLEASE LET ANDERSON AND GALLOWS LOSE THE BELTS. They’re one of the least interesting teams I’ve seen in a long time as they’re really just there every week and offer almost nothing. The entire division is a mess right now and that makes for some very agonizing segments. As annoyed as I’m getting of Amore and Big Cass, they would be WAY better as champions than more of the Anderson and Gallows mess.

Sami Zayn vs. Samoa Joe

Now this has potential. If you have a need for a new monster (or any monster for that matter) to destroy someone and make it look good, you call on Zayn. These two have been feuding for a bit over the last few weeks and there’s a good chance that this match is going to steal the show. There isn’t much doubt on the ending but there’s some serious potential.

In case it’s not clear, Samoa Joe is going to wreck Zayn here and that’s exactly what should happen. Zayn is the kind of guy who can put up a great fight and come this close before falling victim to one heck of a Rock Bottom and maybe the Koquina Clutch. It’s what Zayn does and he does it as well as almost anyone ever has. Samoa Joe should be coming up on a major match at “Wrestlemania XXXIII” but he has to smash Zayn first.

Women’s Title: Bayley vs. Charlotte

As mentioned earlier, this one is going to be dependent on the Banks match, which I think goes to Jax to set up Banks costing Bayley the title here. If that’s not the case, I still don’t think Charlotte gets the belt back here but I do think she wins. The big sales pitch is that Charlotte has never lost a title match on pay per view and there’s a chance that they could avoid taking the title off of Bayley just yet while keeping the streak alive.

Or, since this is WWE, we’ll go with the reality that is Charlotte becoming six time Women’s Champion because WWE wants to recreate Ric Flair’s record in female form. I have no idea why I should care about Charlotte winning the title again but it seems that we’re heading in that direction. Then, once we’ve gotten the worthless first title reign out of the way, Bayley can start the REAL title reign because that’s how WWE logic goes. Charlotte wins though, no matter how little sense it makes.

Roman Reigns vs. Braun Strowman

This is a weird one as there isn’t really a good option for the ending. First of all, there’s absolutely no logical reason to have Strowman lose to Reigns via pin. He’s been treated as an unstoppable monster and there’s no reason for Reigns (or anyone) to beat him this soon. Unfortunately, that’s where WWE manages to screw up more often than not. Reigns winning would be the WWE answer and that’s the last thing that needs to happen.

Or there’s option C: Undertaker interferes and costs Reigns the match in retaliation for Reigns eliminating him from the Royal Rumble. That would set up one heck of a showdown at “Wrestlemania XXXIII” and Strowman goes on to do…..well probably to win the battle royal because that’s the best they can think of him for now. I can live with that as long as Strowman doesn’t get pinned by Reigns, who really doesn’t need to get this win.

Universal Title: Kevin Owens vs. Goldberg

This match terrifies me. Owens has recently rediscovered what made him great in the first place but there’s a buzzsaw called Goldberg waiting on him. I know there’s the option of Chris Jericho interfering to cost Owens the title and while that would make things MUCH better than Goldberg just hitting his finishers to win, Goldberg and Goldberg vs. Lesnar DOES NOT NEED to be for the title. The idea of Jericho taking the title from Owens in Orlando is great but Lesnar vs. Goldberg being for the title? Not so much.

Of course Goldberg wins the title here though because WWE has decided that Goldberg vs. Lesnar MUST be for the title for reasons I don’t even want to comprehend. Like I said, if Jericho interferes and costs Owens the match it’s much better, but words cannot describe how mad I’ll be if it’s “Survivor Series 2016” all over again with a match that lasts less than five minutes because Goldberg can’t do anything longer than that again.

Overall, “Fastlane 2017” just doesn’t need to exist. Other than the main event, you could easily see a lot of this show taking place on a few episodes of “Monday Night Raw” and that’s not good for a pay per view. The show has some potentially excellent matches but there are some that are likely to feel like they’re going to drag like a Stephanie McMahon promo marathon. Just please don’t squash Owens. It doesn’t help anyone but Goldberg and I could easily see WWE doing just that.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

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Main Event
Date: March 2, 2017
Location: Resch Center, Green Bay, Wisconsin
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton, R-Truth

It’s a month away from Wrestlemania and that means it’s time to watch some of the talent who has little chance of making it to the main shows more often than not. Raw has been up and down lately and I’m not sure why some of the bigger names from around here (work with me) hasn’t been bumped up to jobbers to the stars status on the big show. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Sin Cara vs. Bo Dallas

They trade some quick takedowns to start until Cara scores with his springboard elbow to the jaw. It’s WAY too early for the Swanton though and Cara has to settle for a running flip dive off the apron. Dallas sends him into the apron for a near countout, followed by his elevated swinging neckbreaker for two. He charges into raised boots in the corner though and the Swanton gives Cara the pin at 3:59.

Rating: D+. So much for Dallas being ready to move up to the main roster. I really don’t get how they decide the winners on this show as it really does feel like there’s no particular rhyme or reason to almost anything they do. Dallas is one of the regular big winners on this show and now he’s losing clean to Sin Cara in just a few minutes. TNA’s bad days had more consistent booking than this show.

To Raw!

Here’s Goldberg to get things going. He thanks the fans for their chants but gets straight to the point: he’s winning the title at Fastlane with his son cheering him on. This brings out Kevin Owens to say what he really thinks about Goldberg. When he got to this company, Owens promised to grab this company by the throat and show WWE what he was really about.

Then he beat John Cena in his first match, followed by beating Dean Ambrose, AJ Styles, Seth Rollins and the Big Dog himself, Roman Reigns. Now why should Goldberg be any different? Goldberg likes the speech and wants to fight right now but Owens doesn’t think Green Bay deserves to see him fight. They’ll fight on Sunday and the Goldberg chants die.

Back to Raw, which we never left!

We get a long video on the long history of HHH making Seth Rollins. They’ve been together for years but then Rollins hurt his knee which HHH referred to as dropping the ball. Rollins is injured but the question is can he get back in time.

Here’s Rollins, on crutches, for a sitdown interview with Corey Graves. He doesn’t know where he is mentally now but it seems that he’s in Chicago because we get a freaking CM PUNK chant. Thankfully it’s loudly booed and Seth can get back to the point. He’s not sure if he can continue at this point and as of right now, the doctors haven’t cleared him for Wrestlemania.

This brings out HHH and Samoa Joe with the former talking about how Rollins has no idea what he’s doing here. HHH knows Rollins isn’t going to Wrestlemania because that’s how he is. It was HHH who handed him the title and then Rollins bit the hand that feeds him. Rollins didn’t mind reaping the benefits along the way but now he’s treating HHH like this.

Seth needs to make the right decision and not come to Wrestlemania because HHH is done playing with him. If Rollins shows up there, it’s the last thing he’ll ever do in a WWE ring. HHH goes to leave but Seth cuts him off and says he’ll be in Orlando and it’s going to be the last thing HHH ever does.

Ariya Daivari vs. Gran Metalik

Daivari takes him down by the arm and we’re off to a break thirty seconds in. Back with Ariya missing a splash in the corner and getting caught with a middle rope hurricanrana. They trade some hard strikes to the face before Daivari grabs a Rainmaker of all things for two. Why is it for two? BECAUSE THE RAINMAKER IS JUST A CLOTHESLINE! Not that it matters as the Metalik Driver is good for the pin at 6:38. Not enough to rate but this was nothing too special anyway. I do like Metalik though.

And now, the grand finale.

It’s time for the contract signing with Mick Foley running the show. Strowman doesn’t think much of him and says he would have respected him back in the day when Foley was competition. Foley finally snaps and yells at Strowman, basically threatening to get physical because he’s still a legend, even if he won’t be the General Manager that much longer.

Cue Reigns to start the fight, which quickly heads into the crowd. Strowman beats on him even more until Reigns spears him through the barricade and a security guard in the process. Back in and Reigns stops to sign the contract but gets sent into the corner so hard that the top rope breaks. Strowman leaves and Reigns signs to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. If you ignore the Main Event exclusive stuff, this was a good go home show for Fastlane. Unfortunately that’s only kind of what this show is supposed to be, though I’m assuming the short second break was there for the sake of the long HHH vs. Rollins segment. This really does serve as a good recap of Raw but if you’ve already watched that show, there’s no need to ever watch Main Event.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/01/27/kbs-reviews-now-available-in-paperback/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 27, 2017
Location: Resch Center, Green Bay, Wisconsin
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

It’s the go home show for Fastlane and that could mean a few things. This show could range from entertaining to a mess and any point in between. Goldberg will be here tonight and there are rumors of Seth Rollins and Ric Flair making appearances as well. Either way it’s the last Raw before we get to the pre-Wrestlemania season so let’s get to it.

Here’s Goldberg to get things going. He thanks the fans for their chants but gets straight to the point: he’s winning the title at Fastlane with his son cheering him on. This brings out Kevin Owens to say what he really thinks about Goldberg. When he got to this company, Owens promised to grab this company by the throat and show WWE what he was really about.

Then he beat John Cena in his first match, followed by beating Dean Ambrose, AJ Styles, Seth Rollins and the Big Dog himself, Roman Reigns. Now why should Goldberg be any different? Goldberg likes the speech and wants to fight right now but Owens doesn’t think Green Bay deserves to see him fight. They’ll fight on Sunday and the Goldberg chants die.

Here’s New Day for a chat. They’ve got a lot on their plates by hosting Wrestlemania, but we need to be concerned with what’s in our bowls. New Day knows the fans want something else and that means ice cream. They even know what the name is going to be: New Day Pops. First though, they need to face the Shining Stars.

Cue Primo and Epico…..but someone hands Woods an envelope. It turns out that the Shining Stars’ match is later tonight against Big Show. Instead, the envelope says “Rusev and Jinder Mahal”. Ok you knew this was coming and there was no real way around it. Ignore the fact that they really just recreated the idea and didn’t actually do anything new here. In other words: standard WWE comedy.

New Day vs. Rusev/Jinder Mahal

Woods headscissors Mahal down and we hit the Honor Roll for good measure. Big E. gets in a splash as we take a break. Back with Woods not being able to get over Rusev for the hot tag. The slow beating continues and Woods’ crossbody is easily caught. He does manage an enziguri though and there’s the hot tag to Big E. Everything breaks down with Big E. cleaning house. A blind tag brings in Woods for a high crossbody but Rusev makes the save. Kofi and Lana get in an argument on the floor to distract Rusev, leaving Woods to grab a rollup for the pin on Mahal at 9:43.

Rating: D+. Not much to see here but they’re doing a good job of keeping the matches shorter. There’s no real need to see these teams go much longer than this as it’s hard to imagine Rusev and Mahal giving one of the best tag teams ever a real run for their money. New Day is in an interesting place here and I’m curious to see what they have for Wrestlemania.

Rusev and Mahal argue post match because the division is deep enough to split a team already.

We look back at Enzo Amore and Big Cass becoming #1 contenders.

Enzo is really fired up about the idea of becoming champions because he gets his name on the belt. Cass thinks he needs to chill a bit but says they’ll win.

Cesaro and Sheamus want their titles back when Samoa Joe comes up to say Cesaro will never figure things out. Joe: “You mad bro?” Cesaro doesn’t like the brass ring jokes and says all Joe does is carry HHH’s jockstrap. A match seems to be made for later.

Stephanie is annoyed at someone for bad dictation when Mick Foley comes in. She wants to apologize but it turns into rant about how Foley doesn’t live up to his old stature. That’s how Foley will be remembered: as a shadow of his former self. Much like the Oscar joke, you had to know this was coming: Foley said something to Stephanie last week so tonight she had to burn him at the stake.

We look at Brian Kendrick beating Akira Tozawa last week and Kendrick talks about Tozawa rejecting his offer to be the newcomer’s mentor.

Akira Tozawa vs. Noam Dar

Dar gets kicked in the chest to start and the backsplash gets two. A good fake out lets Tozawa nail him again but Alicia Fox offers a distraction. That sets up some arm work but Tozawa sends him outside for a suicide headbutt. Back in and the snap German suplex puts Dar away at 2:59.

Post match Kendrick jumps Tozawa from behind and talks about how Tozawa needs to learn his lessons.

Mick Foley is upset when Samoa Joe comes in and needles him about not having a nice day. Foley doesn’t want to hear it because he sees Joe as a puppet for HHH. Joe doesn’t like that so Foley makes Joe vs. Cesaro for later tonight.

Charlotte/Dana Brooke vs. Bayley/Sasha Banks

Before the match, Charlotte talks about how Bayley is willing to go to any degree to take what she wanted because she has everyone fooled. Charlotte calls Bayley a one hit wonder but here’s Bayley to cut her off. Bayley talks about dreams and moving on from this one. Next up for her is walking into Wrestlemania as Women’s Champion but Charlotte says there’s a long way to go before then. Sasha Banks comes out to say Charlotte has a stupid face and is jealous of the champ. More importantly, there’s a tag match tonight. Charlotte says there is but with a little change in the lineup.

Charlotte/Nia Jax vs. Bayley/Sasha Banks

Nia throws Sasha around to start and runs her over in the corner as a bonus. It’s off to Bayley who can’t do much with Nia either but some right hands in the corner do enough good. Nia clotheslines Bayley’s head off though and the beating begins in the corner. That doesn’t last much longer either and it’s back to Banks vs. Charlotte with Sasha taking over. Dana tries to interfere on the floor and gets a Bayley to Belly for her efforts. Serves that cheater right.

Back from a break with Sasha trying to fight back against Nia and getting headbutted away. Charlotte misses a charge though and the hot tag brings in Bayley to clean house. Everything breaks down again and Bayley tries a choke on Nia. That goes nowhere though and a Charlotte distraction lets Nia run Bayley over. Nia drops the big leg to pin the champ at 12:20.

Rating: C-. That seems to be the way to set up the much discussed four way at Wrestlemania whether it makes the most sense or not. I still don’t know why they didn’t just bring Becky Lynch over for the Four Horsewomen match in the place where they got started but my guess is WE CAN’T CHANGE THE ROSTERS EVER BECAUSE THE DRAFT SAYS SO.

Braun Strowman demands Foley give him a contact signing with Roman Reigns tonight. Foley agrees but basically guarantees a fight will break out.

Luke Gallows vs. Big Cass

Gallows kicks him in the face to start and easily breaks out of a chokeslam. Another kick puts Cass on one knee and Corey says he’s not seven feet tall anymore. That line is always annoying because he’s still that tall but he’s not standing upright. Why is that so complicated? Cass makes his comeback and watches Enzo send Anderson into the steps. A big boot ends Gallows at 2:43.

The announcers hype the WWE Network turning three years old.

Earlier today, Titus O’Neil and Sheamus got in a fight at catering.

Titus O’Neil vs. Sheamus

Titus jumps Sheamus before the bell and throws him inside for the official start. The Brogue Kick ends O’Neil in 17 seconds.

We get a long video on the long history of HHH making Seth Rollins. They’ve been together for years but then Rollins hurt his knee which HHH referred to as dropping the ball. Rollins is injured but the question is can he get back in time.

Here’s Rollins, on crutches, for a sitdown interview with Corey Graves. He doesn’t know where he is mentally now but it seems that he’s in Chicago because we get a freaking CM PUNK chant. Thankfully it’s loudly booed and Seth can get back to the point. He’s not sure if he can continue at this point and as of right now, the doctors haven’t cleared him for Wrestlemania.

This brings out HHH and Samoa Joe with the former talking about how Rollins has no idea what he’s doing here. HHH knows Rollins isn’t going to Wrestlemania because that’s how he is. It was HHH who handed him the title and then Rollins bit the hand that feeds him. Rollins didn’t mind reaping the benefits along the way but now he’s treating HHH like this. Seth needs to make the right decision and not come to Wrestlemania because HHH is done playing with him.

If Rollins shows up there, it’s the last thing he’ll ever do in a WWE ring. HHH goes to leave but Seth cuts him off and says he’ll be in Orlando and it’s going to be the last thing HHH ever does. This dragged a lot and just reenforces the idea that there isn’t much of a need to have this match. The match should have happened at Night of Champions or HIAC or something but instead it’s at Wrestlemania because that’s where HHH wrestles no matter what.

Big Show vs. Shining Stars

Double teaming actually puts Show down for a bit before he shrugs the cousins off. A KO Punch and chokeslam wrap things up at 1:48.

Black History Month video on Martin Luther King Jr.

Neville tells Tony Nese that the purpose of tonight’s tag match is to put Jack Gallagher in his place before Sunday. Nese basically says he’s in this for himself.

Austin Aries video package.

Jack Gallagher/TJ Perkins vs. Tony Nese/Neville

Neville kicks TJ off the apron at the bell but gets bulldogged by TJ. Cole: “You’re only going to see this kind of action on Monday Night Raw!” Yeah he doesn’t watch 205 Live either. Nese gets rolled up for two and it’s off to Gallagher as things speed up a bit. The headbutt puts Neville on the floor and it’s the Detonation Kick into the running corner dropkick for Nese. Jack takes Nese down with something like a seated abdominal stretch while kicking Nese in the face for the tap out at 1:58. This was more filler on a show full of it.

Beth Phoenix Hall of Fame video. I miss the days when these were announced on Raw and now in a newspaper earlier in the day.

Bayley and Sasha are icing their injuries from earlier. Sasha is going to be in Bayley’s corner on Sunday but Stephanie adds Banks vs. Jax to Fastlane.

Samoa Joe vs. Cesaro

They take turns driving each other into the corner and Cesaro tweaks his knee. He tries to muscle through it until Joe goes after the knee to take over as we take a break. Back with Cesaro muscling Joe up into a suplex and countering a kneebar attempt. Cesaro hits that reverse Angle Slam move of his and gets two off a double stomp. Uh, shouldn’t he be in a bit more pain after stomping on someone with a bad knee? Joe breaks up the springboard uppercut though and kicks at the knee, setting up the Rock Bottom for the pin at 7:45.

Rating: D+. What in the world was up with Cesaro’s selling here? This was all about the knee injury but he was using his power stuff and did a freaking double stomp. You need WAY more selling than just that and I have no idea what was up with Cesaro in this case. He’s smarter than that and I don’t get it.

Post match Joe says it doesn’t matter who comes against the Destroyer because he’s taking them apart. This brings out Sami Zayn for the brawl until the referees break it up.

It’s time for the contract signing with Mick Foley running the show. Strowman doesn’t think much of him and says he would have respected him back in the day when Foley was competition. Foley finally snaps and yells at Strowman, basically threatening to get physical because he’s still a legend, even if he won’t be the General Manager that much longer.

Cue Reigns to start the fight, which quickly heads into the crowd. Strowman beats on him even more until Reigns spears him through the barricade and a security guard in the process. Back in and Reigns stops to sign the contract but gets sent into the corner so hard that the top rope breaks. Strowman leaves and Reigns signs to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. This show really enforced the idea that Fastlane doesn’t need to exist. There were multiple matches with no story and even more that didn’t last long enough to rate. I have a very low tolerance for undisguised filler and Sheamus vs. Titus O’Neil in a 17 second match over a fight at catering is nothing but a way to fill in time. Fastlane was almost half booked tonight and that’s a really bad sign six days before the pay per view. I’ve seen worse shows but I just want to get to Wrestlemania and Fastlane is an annoyance we have to get through on the way there.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/01/27/kbs-reviews-now-available-in-paperback/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 5, 2017
Location: Moda Center, Portland, Oregon
Commentators: Michael Cole, Byron Saxton, Corey Graves

It’s that time of the year when just talking about a match in about two months is a big deal. In this case that means Goldberg is back to answer Brock Lesnar’s challenge for a match at Wrestlemania XXXIII, which is likely main eventing the show in April. Other than that we might get a few more details about what’s coming up in about a month at Fastlane. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of HHH’s speech from last week about how tired he is of Seth Rollins not doing what he wanted Rollins to do. HHH blames this whole thing on Rollins getting hurt (the first time).

Stephanie McMahon and an unhappy Mick Foley are in the ring to start with Foley bringing out Samoa Joe, much to his annoyance. Joe hasn’t signed his Raw contract yet but first of all we need Stephanie to yell at Mick for not doing his job (whatever that means here). Foley doesn’t want to sign Joe, who goes on a rant about how there is nothing Foley can do to stop him.

For eighteen years Joe has been trying to get here and if one man giving him a shot means he has to hurt Rollins, so be it. Joe signs and here’s Roman Reigns to interrupt. Roman gets in Joe’s face and says that if Joe is putting Raw on notice, that means he’s putting Roman on notice. Foley immediately makes the match for tonight.

Bayley vs. Nia Jax

Bayley goes right after her to start and literally bounces off the monster. That means it’s time for the slow beating to begin, including a hard slam and a lot of shouting. Nia misses a charge into the corner though and Bayley fires off some forearms, only to get sent even harder into the corner to send us to a break.

Back with Bayley fighting out of a waistlock and forearming Nia in the jaw. Another beal into the corner sets up a running splash though and Nia mocks Bayley’s dancing. Nia turns her inside out with a clothesline but misses a charge into the post. Bayley sends her in again but here’s Charlotte for a distraction, allowing Nia to Samoan drop Bayley for the pin at 10:32.

Rating: C. I know they’re doing a very similar formula to what worked for Bayley down in NXT but that’s not going to work in such an abbreviated form, especially with so much else to focus on. Bayley hasn’t quite clicked on Raw yet but you know she’s going to get the title at some point. The question is when that’s going to be the case.

Braun Strowman vs. ???/???/???/???

It’s back to the old formula here as Strowman runs over everyone in sight, sending one of the four running up the ramp. The running powerslam plants one of them and the other two are piled on top for the pin at 1:54.

Strowman tells Foley this isn’t competition and heads to the back to find the boss. In the back, Strowman says he wants everyone so Foley gives him a match with Reigns at Fastlane.

Video on Akira Tozawa.

Akira Tozawa vs. Drew Gulak

The announcers make sure to plug Tozawa’s resume so it’s clear he’s going to be a big deal. Some early strikes have Gulak in trouble and a backsplash (WAY too popular anymore) gets two. Gulak’s comeback goes nowhere as Tozawa kicks him to the floor for a suicide dive. A Shining Wizard sets up the snap German suplex to end Gulak at 3:40.

Rating: C. Just a squash here but it made Tozawa look like the killer he needs to be. This could be a hint that Tozawa is going to be one of the next challengers for Neville’s Cruiserweight Title and I’ve heard far worse ideas. The cruiserweights are starting to come together and that’s a good thing all around, especially if it gives us something like Tozawa vs. Neville. Gulak is fine as a punching bag but PLEASE don’t try to make him any kind of a focal point.

Post match Brian Kendrick comes out to shake Tozawa’s hand.

Here are Kevin Owens and Chris Jericho with something to say. Owens brags about retaining the Universal Title but Jericho had something more important to get to. Last night someone won a little game and that means they’ve been calling themselves the G.O.A.T. No one steals Jericho’s name so Tom Brady JUST MADE THE LIST.

With that out of the way, Jericho wants to talk about a champion vs. champion match at Wrestlemania when he challenges Owens for the Universal Title. Owens doesn’t know if he can do that but here’s Goldberg to interrupt. Goldberg gets straight to the point and accepts the match with Lesnar at Wrestlemania. Kevin likes this idea because Goldberg vs. Lesnar could be a great undercard match for KO Mania II.

That’s not quite what Goldberg meant though because Owens doesn’t have anything for Fastlane. Therefore, maybe Goldberg should get the next shot at the Universal Title. Jericho interrupts and threatens Goldberg with a spot on the list but Goldberg puts himself on it. That makes Jericho accepts the shot for Owens, who certainly isn’t pleased.

In theory this sets up Owens vs. Jericho, but at the same time it also likely means Goldberg gets the title. I wouldn’t even be surprised if he squashes Owens either, which is another great salute to someone who has spent months being awesome, only to get taken down by someone who doesn’t need the title for their Wrestlemania match.

Post break Owens isn’t happy with Jericho but Chris says he always has Kevin’s back. That’s not enough though because having his back doesn’t mean making matches for the Universal Title.

Tag Team Titles; Cesaro/Sheamus vs. Gallows and Anderson

Gallows and Anderson are defending with Enzo and Big Cass watching at ringside. Sheamus takes over on Anderson to start before Cesaro comes in with an ax handle to the shoulder. A Regal Roll into a double stomp from Cesaro gets two so the champs regroup on the floor as we take a break. Back with Sheamus fighting back and getting two off a top rope clothesline. The assisted Irish Curse gets two on Anderson but Gallows kicks Enzo in the face, drawing Cass in for the DQ at 9:00.

Rating: C-. THAT MEANS THIS FEUD GETS TO CONTINUE! WHY IS THIS FEUD CONTINUING??? I’m so sick of these teams fighting as there’s just no chemistry or charisma anywhere to be found. Maybe Enzo and Cass being added in could help things out a bit but sweet goodness this isn’t interesting so far. Fix this up already because it’s killing any show they’re on.

Black History Month video on Jackie Robinson.

We look back at Rollins being attacked last week. Rollins has a torn MCL and his Wrestlemania status is “very much in doubt”.

New Day vs. Shining Stars

Before the match, Kofi wants to know who has actually been to the Shining Stars Resort. That would be no one, because it’s not real. New Day gives people what they want, including magic, music (via Francesca II: Turbo) and cereal. Big E.: “What else can we give them? ICE CREAM???”

This is joined in progress after a break with Woods hitting a splash for two on Primo until an enziguri knocks Xavier into a Russian legsweep. We hit the chinlock for a long while, followed by a top wristlock for a change of pace. Woods fights back and gets in a missile dropkick, allowing the hot tag off to Big E. Everything breaks down and New Day cleans house, setting up the Midnight Hour for the pin at Primo at 5:48.

Rating: C. I’ve seen far worse six minute tag matches and that’s fine for a way to fill in some time on a show like this. New Day hasn’t done much of value since the title loss and I’d love to see them go somewhere. Unfortunately I’m not sure what there is for them to do other than go after singles gold.

Goldberg vs. Owens is official for Fastlane.

Jericho doesn’t think Sami Zayn can defeat him two weeks in a row. Kevin comes in to say he’ll have Jericho’s back.

The Rock N Roll Express are official for the Hall of Fame.

US Title: Chris Jericho vs. Sami Zayn

Sami is challenging and Owens is at ringside. Feeling out process to start with Sami grabbing a rollup for two which sends Jericho out to the floor. Back in and Sami’s high crossbody gets two on the champ but it’s way too early for the Helluva Kick. Instead Jericho bails to the floor, meaning it’s time for a big flip dive to put Chris down.

We come back from a break with Jericho getting his head taken off with a clothesline. Another Helluva Kick attempt is countered into the Walls but Sami reverses into the Blue Thunder Bomb for two. One day that’s going to win a match and the roof is going to come off the place. Sami’s tornado DDT is countered into the Walls but he’s right in front of the ropes. Owens throws in a superkick though and the Codebreaker retains the title at 9:45.

Rating: C+. This was fine though I’m glad Sami didn’t win the title. He needs to get one someday but at the moment, this was the right way to keep things going. Eventually they can pull the trigger and set up Owens vs. Jericho but they’ll probably wait until after Fastlane, which isn’t the worst idea in the world.

We look at Goldberg challenging Owens earlier tonight.

Sasha Banks is getting her knee looked at when Charlotte comes in to mock her for not even having her health. Charlotte promises to keep a seat open for Banks next week when her best friend gets a shot at the title.

Austin Aries is in the ring for an interview with Neville. With Rich Swann out with an injury, it’s time for a new #1 contender to be crowned. As luck would have it, there’s going to be a five way elimination match between Jack Gallagher, Noam Dar, Cedric Alexander, Tony Nese and TJ Perkins in a five way elimination match for the #1 contendership. Neville doesn’t care who he faces so here are all five challengers to interrupt each other while saying they’ll win. A big brawl breaks out with Neville being the last man standing, mainly because he’s one of the only ones who didn’t try a big dive.

Emmalina debuts next week.

Neville/Noam Dar/Tony Nese vs. Jack Gallagher/Cedric Alexander/TJ Perkins

Joined in progress as we come back with Gallagher taking a snap suplex from Neville. Nese grabs a front facelock but has to stop for the sake of forearming Perkins and Alexander off the apron. Gallagher gets in a headbutt to put Nese down so Neville demands Dar allow him to take the tag. Apparently Dar isn’t the best listener though as he tags himself in, only to have the also tagged Perkins dropkick him in the face. Neville won’t have any more of this and walks out on his partners, leaving Nese to take the Detonation Kick. A Lumbar Check puts Dar away at 5:05.

Rating: C. Not a bad match here and it did a decent enough job of setting up tomorrow’s five way. There should be some good action there and that’s what we got here as well. I’m still digging the heck out of Neville with his logical actions as he has no reason to stick around when someone isn’t going to listen to the King’s orders.

Jericho pitches an idea for next week: the Festival of Friendship. Owens is skeptical but goes along with it.

We look at Reigns and Samoa Joe from earlier.

Video on the Elimination Chamber. Cole says this is a new Chamber but doesn’t elaborate. What sloppy journalism.

Samoa Joe vs. Roman Reigns

Joe jumps Reigns before the bell and Reigns is in trouble as we take a break with no bell. Back with the bell ringing and Reigns taking it to the floor for a whip into the barricade. Joe comes right back with an enziguri and pops Reigns in the jaw with an elbow. A slugout goes to Joe and he drops the backsplash for two more.

You’re not about to keep Reigns in trouble for that long though as he comes back with a Samoan drop. The Superman Punch is loaded up but Joe is smart enough to roll outside. That earns him the apron dropkick and a Superman Punch but here’s Strowman for a distraction. Joe gets back up and hits a Rock Bottom for the pin at 9:57.

Rating: C+. That’s the smart ending as you want to make Joe look strong in his debut but you also keep Reigns protected at the same time. The match was little more than a power brawl but that’s what both guys do best. The Strowman distraction was the right call and the match at Fastlane could be interesting as well.

Post match Strowman cleans house and powerslams Reigns through the barricade to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. I liked this better than most shows because, for once, it wasn’t so much about the in ring product. Sometimes it gets annoying to have long matches for the sake of having long matches but this week was more about setting up stuff for the future, especially Fastlane. The wrestling was perfectly acceptable this week but the important part was knocking out a bunch of stuff that they need to get done with a month before the next pay per view. Totally fine show this week and a nice upgrade over recent weeks if memory serves me right.

Results

Nia Jax b. Bayley – Samoan drop

Braun Strowman b. ???/???/???/??? – Running powerslam

Akira Tozawa b. Drew Gulak – German suplex

Anderson and Gallows b. Sheamus/Cesaro via DQ when Big Cass interfered

New Day b. Shining Stars – Midnight Hour to Primo

Chris Jericho b. Sami Zayn – Codebreaker

Jack Gallagher/Cedric Alexander/TJ Perkins b. Tony Nese/Noam Dar/Neville – Lumber Check to Dar

Samoa Joe b. Roman Reigns – Rock Bottom

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/01/27/kbs-reviews-now-available-in-paperback/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Main Event
Date: January 26, 2017
Location: Quicken Loans Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton, Austin Aries

Hopefully we can get by without another broken arm. It should be interesting to see where they go with no Darren Young for a change as he’s been the one constant of this show, which isn’t the best idea in the world. It’s also the final show before the Royal Rumble so expect some high quality highlight packages. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Lince Dorado vs. Brian Kendrick

After Aries tells us that Dorado used to be a meringue champion, Kendrick is sent head first into the buckle and then out to the floor. A baseball slide takes Dorado down and we have a jarred knee. Back in and the knee is fine enough for a moonsault press onto Brian for two, followed by a hurricanrana for the same. A springboard Stunner gives Dorado another two but the shooting star hits knee, setting up the Captain’s Hook for the tap at 5:10.

Rating: C+. I was really surprised here but the match was a lot better than I was expecting. Dorado is fine for a generic cruiserweight and his offense was rolling until the end. Kendrick is still very hit or miss and while I’m rarely a fan of someone winning with two offensive moves in a five minute match, this was a very nice match.

To Raw!

US Title: Roman Reigns vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho is defending but Reigns starts fast and knocks him to the floor for a running dropkick. Back from an early break with Owens on commentary and telling Byron to shut up. Naturally we LOOK AT THE ANNOUNCERS’ TABLE TO SEE PEOPLE TALKING while the match is going on. Jericho grabs a chinlock as the announcers pepper Owens about his upcoming title defense.

Ever the arrogant heel, Jericho slaps Reigns in the face a few times so Roman uppercuts him out of the air. The Samoan drop into a rollup is botched so Jericho hammers away, only to have the drop hit a few seconds later. The Superman Punch is countered with a dropkick but the Codebreaker is easily powered away. Now the Superman Punch connects but Owens comes in for the DQ at 9:45.

Rating: C-. This was fine while it lasted and thank goodness they didn’t change the title back already. Owens interfering is fine and thankfully they didn’t have another champ lose all over again. The match wasn’t terrible and Reigns wasn’t entirely booed out of the building so this is one of the better possible outcomes.

Post match Reigns is beaten down but manages to lock Owens in the cage and spear Jericho. Coolish moment I guess, though wouldn’t it make more sense to have Jericho locked in the cage and beat Owens down as a preview for Sunday?

Video on HHH winning the 2002 Royal Rumble.

From Raw again.

Sami Zayn vs. Seth Rollins

Only the winner goes to the Rumble. It’s a feeling out process to start as the announcers talk about how these two used to be friends and even roommates. Neither can get anywhere in the first few minutes so Seth turns it into a fist fight and scores with a suicide dive as we take a break. Back with Seth missing the springboard knee and getting caught in the Blue Thunder Bomb so CUE THE CROWD REACTION SHOTS!!!

A Michinoku Driver gets two more on Seth but Rollins runs the corner and throws Sami down for the Blockbuster. Seth grabs the Falcon’s Arrow for two more and a jumping knee to the face just sounds painful. There’s the Sling Blade but Sami reverses the Pedigree into a tornado DDT.

The Helluva Kick misses but Sami backdrops him to the floor for a big crash. Back in and a sunset powerbomb gets two more on Seth, followed by the exploder into the corner. Rollins bails to the apron and manages a Pedigree to knock Sami cold…..and here’s HHH. Or at least his music hits, allowing Sami to small package Rollins at 15:57.

Rating: B-. This match had some of WWE’s greatest hits for stupid ideas, including ALL THE CROWD REACTION SHOTS and that stupid music fake out. I’m looking forward to Wrestlemania but unfortunately it’s so we can get done with this HHH vs. Rollins feud. Why in the world we need to sit around and wait for so many months on this feud isn’t clear but odds are it’s “well, you can’t expect TRIPLE H to lower himself to any other show.”

Shawn Michaels won the 1995 Royal Rumble.

Alicia Fox vs. Dana Brooke

Rematch from last week. Brooke hiptosses her down and does a one arm pushup (Aries: “I usually do no arm push-ups.”) but gets headscissored into an armbar. An arm crank sends Dana outside and we take a break. Back with Dana stomping away in the corner and slapping on a bodyscissors. Brooke’s cartwheel moonsault hits knees and Fox gets in the northern lights suplex for two of her own. The ax kick puts Brooke away at 10:10.

Rating: D+. Just a match here as they basically did the exact same thing last week. Fox is in a weird place as she’s talented enough to beat up some of the women but WAY out of her league against the top of the division. Brooke has fallen off a cliff lately and I don’t see a way back up for her at the moment.

One more Raw trip to wrap us up.

Here’s Goldberg for the closing segment. The chants cut him off and Goldberg seems to forget his lines a few times. He finally gets them right by talking about facing twenty nine other men in the Royal Rumble for the right to face Owens or Reigns. Cue Paul Heyman to talk about who Goldberg might be facing on Sunday. It could be Randy Orton, Braun Strowman or even this man: Brock Lesnar. Brock comes out while Heyman keeps talking but Goldberg says get in here. The fight is almost on when the gong strikes. Undertaker shows up and we get the big three way staredown to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Not much to see on this one with the first match being fun but meaningless and the second match being something we saw just last week. In other words, it’s your run of the mill Main Event with the highlights carrying things as far as they’re going to be able to.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/01/27/kbs-reviews-now-available-in-paperback/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

I’m actually rather pleased with this one.  It’s more of a statistics/fact based one and those are always some of my favorites.

http://wrestlingrumors.net/kbs-review-rumble-went-off-rails/

Royal Rumble 2017
Date: January 29, 2017
Location: Alamodome, San Antonio, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Byron Saxton Corey Graves, John Bradshaw Layfield, Mauro Ranallo, David Otunga, Tom Phillips

We’re finally here and I don’t know who wins the main event. The Royal Rumble really is that wide open this year and that hasn’t been the case in a few years now. It could be any of maybe ten people and that’s a very cool situation to be in for a change. The rest of the card looks solid too so let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Nikki Bella/Becky Lynch/Naomi vs. Alexa Bliss/Mickie James/Natalya

Natalya does a You Can’t See Me in Nikki’s face to start and it’s quickly off to Bliss to really get us going. A facebuster staggers Alexa so it’s off to Naomi vs. Natalya, only to have the good ones come in for a triple suplex to send Natalya and company to the floor. Naomi hits a dive and we take a break.

Back with Natalya sending Becky into the barricade and taking her into the wrong corner to play some Ricky Morton. Natalya gets two off a clothesline and we hit the chinlock. Back up and Nikki gets over for the hot tag to Naomi for some exciting yet still stupid looking offense. Everything breaks down and Naomi hits a split legged moonsault for the pin on Alexa at 9:39.

Rating: C. This was fine and the most logical way to go as it sets Naomi up as the new #1 contender in the near future. The wrestling wasn’t bad and the women are always going to get a crowd fired up if they’re allowed to do things right. This did its job, though having it an hour later would have been a better idea.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Sheamus/Cesaro vs. Anderson and Gallows

Anderson and Gallows are challenging and there are two referees. Cesaro runs Anderson over to start and it’s off to Sheamus to do the same on Gallows. A kick to Cesaro’s head puts him down and we take a break. Back with Sheamus getting the hot tag and cleaning house, including an assisted Irish Curse for two on Gallows.

Karl comes back in and hits a running kick to the chest but has to backdrop his way out of the Neutralizer. Anderson gets in the spinebuster but Sheamus breaks up the Magic Killer. One referee takes the Brogue Kick by mistake so the second comes in to watch Anderson get Swung. Everything breaks down again and Anderson rolls Cesaro up with a handful of trunks for the pin at 10:28.

Rating: D+. Nothing special to see here but that’s the case with these teams. They’re just not that interesting together but at the moment they pretty much are the entire division on Raw. At least the match wasn’t that long and the title change means a little something but they seem to be setting up a rematch to continue this rather lame feud.

Nia Jax vs. Sasha Banks

Banks has a somewhat bad knee coming in thanks to Nia attacking her multiple times. Sasha goes right after her to start but can’t get too far on the giant. A hard charge puts Banks down and Jax shouts that she’s the boss. Back from a break with Jax easily powering out of the Banks Statement and grabbing a Brock Lock to start in on the knee. Sasha gets out and hits the top rope double knees (not the brightest move), only to get caught in the Samoan drop for the pin at 5:13.

Rating: C-. This was just above a squash and that’s an interesting way to go about things. Nia winning is a good idea as Banks is able to pop back up to the top of the card with a single win or just a little talking while Nia is getting her first win. Banks will bounds back just fine and Nia moves way up towards the top of the division so everything is fine.

The opening video looks at some historic Rumble moments, which we remember you see. Of course it turns into the standard recap package, which runs over four minutes. It’s almost like we have four hours and five matches.

Raw Women’s Title: Bayley vs. Charlotte

Charlotte is defending and this is the natural vs. the one who loves wrestling. Bayley is sent outside early on so she does the same to Charlotte. A big dive off the top takes Charlotte down again but it takes a bit to throw her back in and the champ kicks out. Bayley gets sent into the steps for two and it’s off to the chinlock.

A stomp to the head sets up the figure four necklock with Bayley’s face bouncing off the mat. Bayley starts getting all fired up and chops away before grabbing an armdrag out of the corner. A middle rope crossbody sets up the ax handles to the champ’s chest, followed by a swinging Downward Spiral for a new move.

Bayley drops a top rope elbow for two (which seems to bust Charlotte’s lip) and the fans are starting to get into this. Charlotte comes right back with a quick Figure Eight but she makes sure to grab the ropes for the break. An awkward looking moonsault (Charlotte landed on her legs instead of flat) is countered with raised knees to put the champ in trouble again. Not that it matters as Natural Selection onto the apron retains the title at 13:03.

Rating: C+. The ending wasn’t exactly a surprise here with Bayley likely to win the title at Wrestlemania and not a second before. It’s still a good match though and that’s the right kind of match for a show like this. This is all about setting up a bigger match down the line and the fact that the match was good makes it even better.

We recap the Raw World Title match. Roman Reigns has beaten champion Kevin Owens multiple times now but Chris Jericho constantly interferes to help retain the title. Therefore, Jericho will be locked in a shark cage above the ring despite the match being not DQ, which negates the point of the original stipulation in the first place.

Raw World Title: Roman Reigns vs. Kevin Owens

Reigns is challenging and anything goes. Jericho and Owens try to jump Reigns to start but Roman knocks Chris into the cage and has it raised into the air. The fight is taken straight into the crowd with Owens taking the worst of it. Back to ringside with the champ taking over by hitting Reigns with the top of the table.

That’s followed by a Cannonball against the barricade and it’s time to set up a big pyramid of chairs at ringside. Reigns punches his way out of a powerbomb through the chairs and sends Owens shoulder first into the post. It’s table time but Owens grabs a Backstabber for two instead.

The superkick is countered into a sitout powerbomb for two on Owens and the champ is in trouble. They head outside again with Reigns being put on the table for a frog splash off the top. A chair is wedged into the corner and Owens becomes the first heel in a LONG time to send someone into a chair he set up.

Jericho throws Owens some brass knuckles but Kevin’s Superman Punch only gets two. Reigns comes back with a Samoan drop through a chair and it’s table time: the sequel. The table is set up in the corner and a Superman Punch connects for two (table not involved). Owens blocks the spear of all things with a jumping Stunner for two and frustration is setting in.

There’s another Cannonball and Owens loads up a superplex to the floor, only to get shoved through that big pile of chairs. Reigns powerbombs him through the announcers’ table but cue Braun Strowman to chokeslam Reigns onto (not through) the table. A powerslam through the table in the corner makes it even worse, allowing Owens to cover Reigns’ unconscious body for the pin at 23:30.

Rating: B. They did a good thing here by having this be a wild brawl instead of a boring wrestling match. Strowman interfering opens some doors but I really don’t need to see those two fight for anything of note. The other interesting thing here was the fact that Jericho did nothing at all of note, making his stipulation all the more pointless.

Enzo and Big Cass shill chicken.

Here are some Royal Rumble facts. They’re counting down from 30 to 1 but only twelve or so are presented here.

The Rumble debuted in 1988

Bret Hart was the first entrant

870 superstars have entered

3 females have entered and all of them have eliminated one person

23 different winners

98% of the entrants have lost

4 Rumbles in Texas

California and Florida have hosted 5 Rumbles each

507,102 fans have appeared

Rey Mysterio lasted 1:02:12

Edge only took 7:36 to win

Santino Marella lasted 1 second

Bob Backlund lasted 1:01:10 for the longest run without winning

HHH has spent 4:06:08 over 9 Rumbles

46 Hall of Famers

9 Hall of Famers won

Foley appeared 3 times in 1998

The four bosses are hanging around the tumbler when Sami Zayn comes in to draw his number. Dean Ambrose comes in and is off to take a nap until he’s scheduled to go in. To continue Sami’s nerd gimmick (whatever that’s for), he can’t open his ball so Dean does it for him, revealing #8.

We recap the Cruiserweight Title match. Rich Swann was Neville’s young boy in Japan but now Neville wants the title due to a lack of respect. This has been a very well put together feud and I’m looking forward to seeing the match.

Cruiserweight Title: Neville vs. Rich Swann

Swann is defending but Neville hammers him down into the corner to start with the champ in early trouble. Rich grabs a quick crucifix for two but Neville facelocks him to take over again. An elbow to the head sets up a chinlock as the match slows down again. Neville finally lets go and sends Swann into the barricade as this is completely one sided so far.

Back in and Rich finally scores with a superkick to give himself his first offense of the match. Neville bails to the floor and that means a big corkscrew dive off the middle rope to drop him all over again. Back in and Swann just unloads on him with rights and lefts to the head, followed by a good looking Chick Kick for two. A running frog splash (that’s a new one) gives the champ two more but Neville crotches him on the top.

Neville superkicks the heck out of him but the deadlift German suplex is countered into a victory roll for two. The big kick to Neville’s head only gets two as it knocks Neville right next to the ropes. Neville’s superplex only gets two so he goes straight to the Rings of Saturn and Swann taps at 13:29.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t quite as good as I was expecting but Neville winning was exactly the right call as Swann was outclassed for weeks on end during the build to the match. Swann was fine for a first champion in the 205 area but he needed to go down here, especially in a clean finish to the better man.

New Day shills Vudu.

We recap the Smackdown World Title match. AJ Styles and John Cena started feuding last May and Styles swept Cena in two matches. Cena was gone for a good while due to an injury but is back and healthy with his sights set on winning his 16^th World Title to tie Ric Flair’s record.

Smackdown World Title: John Cena vs. AJ Styles

Cena is challenging and they stare each other down to start. AJ goes after the leg to start and takes Cena down for a kneedrop. Cena tries an early AA but Styles lands on his feet and grabs a hurricanrana. The sliding forearm gets two and a German suplex into a facebuster gets the same.

Cena just blasts him with a clothesline and the Shuffle gets two. It’s too early for a superplex though as AJ slips down into a torture rack into a powerbomb for two of his own. The first AA gets two and the Phenomenal Forearm gives AJ the same. Cena comes back with an electric chair facebuster for two and it’s time for the slugout.

AJ pulls him down into the Calf Crusher but Cena reverses into the STF. That breaks down as well and we hit the main event style as AJ grabs an STF (not a great one but it’s comparable to Cena’s) of his own. Cena reverses that into a Figure Four (Because RIC FLAIR IS STILL A THING BABY!) but gets caught in a cross armbreaker, only to power AJ up into a powerbomb to put both guys down again.

The top rope Fameasser is countered into a powerbomb which is transitioned into a Styles Clash for a very close two. Styles’ springboard 450 hits knees and a Code Red (standing sunset flip) gets two more. AJ gets catapulted into the buckle and something like a toss into a Big Ending gets yet another near fall. The super AA only gets two and Cena is…..well I’d assume stunned because WE LOOK AT THE CROWD REACTIONS INSTEAD OF THE WRESTLERS. Two straight AA’s give Cena the sixteenth title at 23:55.

Rating: A-. Now if only Cena can lose it and win it again later to give him the record once and for all so we can forget about Flair (yes I know Flair claims it’s 21 or 23 or whatever he’s claiming at the moment but 16 is the official number and the one that matters). This was another great match and Cena winning the belt back, even for a short run, is long overdue. He hasn’t been champion in over two years and really, that last reign was only because Bryan got hurt. I’m very happy with this and it was another very good match to boot.

We look at HHH responding to Seth Rollins last night after Takeover. HHH’s advice is to not wish for something you don’t want because tomorrow night, STEPHANIE is confronting Rollins face to face.

Jerry Lawler is doing commentary on the Rumble.

Rumble by the Numbers.

Only 16 of the 30 possible numbers have won

7 winners are from 1-10

4 have been from 11-20

19 have been from 21-40

27 is the lucky number

1 and 2 have produced 4 winners

2 people have won from #1

Only one person has won from the same number twice (Batista at #28)

Kane has entered the most Royal Rumbles and has the most eliminations

The title has been on the line twice

Four winners have been runners up

Six names have won twice

Steve Austin has won three times

Royal Rumble

Two minute intervals. Big Cass is in at #1 and Enzo fills in some more time by singing about how much he loves Texas. After a speech about this is the big Rumble and Cass is going to act like HBK in 1995, Chris Jericho is in at #2. Cass starts fast and throws Jericho around, only to have to block the Walls. A catapult sends Jericho to the apron and Kalisto is in at #3.

Kalisto is sent to the apron but springboards back in to speed things WAY up. One big boot drops drops the masked man but Jericho is back up to slug away at Cass in the corner. Mojo Rawley is in at #4 as the clock is already WAY off. With no one doing anything of note, Jericho sets the record for most combined time in the Rumble. Jack Gallagher is in at #5 and it’s time for the umbrella shots.

Jericho slams him down and Jack crotches him with the umbrella, which he twirls around between Jericho’s legs. Mark Henry is in at #6 as we don’t have any eliminations yet. Gallagher’s headbutt has no effect and he’s sent flying over the top (with umbrella in hand of course) for the first elimination. Braun Strowman is in at #7 as Jericho is sent outside but not over the top.

Rawley and Cass are put out in short order with Kalisto quickly following. That leaves Henry vs. Strowman for the obvious showdown with the obvious ending. We’re down to Strowman and Jericho (on the floor) as Sami Zayn is in at #8. Sami hammers away to a bit more avail than you would expect but he’s quickly pounded down.

Big Show is in at #9 and we get another big power showdown. Strowman gets chokeslammed but Show has to to after Jericho, who eats a KO Punch. TYE DILLINGER comes in at #10 and helps Sami hammer on Strowman. At the moment we’ve got Sami, Strowman, Dillinger, Jericho and James Ellsworth is in at #11. Dillinger and Sami try to get rid of Strowman to no avail so here’s Dean Ambrose in at #12.

Dean and Ellsworth agree to go after Strowman but James stays on the floor. James goes in and is quickly tossed, leaving Dean, Dillinger and Zayn to work on Strowman. Baron Corbin is in at #13 and makes it a quadruple team but Strowman gets rid of Dillinger for his seventh elimination. Corbin and company hammer on Strowman and Baron actually clotheslines Braun out on his own for a BIG surprise.

Kofi Kingston is in at #14 and nothing happens until Miz is in at #15, giving us Sami, Jericho, Ambrose, Corbin, Kofi and Miz. A Deep Six drops Miz and Kofi gets crotched on the top, allowing him to hang over the back of the post for his big save. Sheamus is in at #16 and stares Miz down to scare him off. Everyone lays around and it’s Big E. in at #17. New Day works together but doesn’t get rid of anyone so here’s Rusev (with a mask on to protect what looks to be a broken nose) at #18.

Again that goes nowhere as Cesaro is in at #19 with the ring getting too full. Cesaro Swings a bunch of people until Rusev superkicks him down. Xavier Woods is in at #20, giving us Sami, Jericho, Ambrose, Corbin, Kofi, Miz, Sheamus, Big E., Rusev, Cesaro and Woods. New Day hammers on Sheamus and Miz is sent into a double kick in the corner.

Bray Wyatt is in at #21 and we get Woods staring at Bray for a callback to their feud last year. Woods is sent to the apron but not eliminated as Apollo Crews is in at #22. Sheamus and Cesaro clothesline New Day out at the same time, only to have Jericho dump both of them out. Randy Orton is in at #23, giving us Orton, Sami, Jericho, Ambrose, Corbin, Miz, Rusev, Wyatt and Crews. RKO’s abound until Dolph Ziggler is in at #24. This time it’s superkicks abounding and it’s Luke Harper in at #25.

Harper elbows Crews out but turns into a staredown with Orton. Bray has to play peacekeeper again so Harper blasts him with a clothesline. Orton takes a boot but comes right back with an RKO on Harper to break up Sister Abigail on Bray (you read that right). Brock Lesnar is in at #26 and gets rid of Ambrose and Ziggler before starting in on the German suplexes. Some F5’s leave everyone down and heeeeere’s………Enzo at #27. Graves: “This may be the greatest moment of my life!”

Enzo gets all fired up and takes one heck of a clothesline before being tossed. Goldberg is in at #28 and this could be very interesting. The spear drops Lesnar in a hurry and a clothesline gets rid of Brock two seconds later. Sami takes a Jackhammer but Orton and Wyatt jump Goldberg.

That means a double spear and here’s Undertaker in at #29 but he surprises Goldberg from behind instead of coming down the aisle (smart move there). Undertaker grabs Goldberg by the throat but has to eliminate Corbin. Goldberg dumps Harper but Undertaker tosses Goldberg for a surprise. A bunch of chokeslams take everyone down and…….ROMAN REIGNS is the surprise entrant at #30.

The final group is Undertaker, Reigns, Zayn, Jericho, Miz, Wyatt and Orton (good lineup). Reigns and Undertaker slug it out as the fans are calling this BS. Miz gets clotheslined out and Sami is tossed to get us down to five. Roman dumps Undertaker and does the big stare, likely setting up Wrestlemania. A Superman Punch gets rid of Jericho and we’re down to Reigns, Wyatt and Orton. The double teaming begins but both Wyatts take Superman Punches. Wyatt is tossed but the spear is countered into an RKO and a clothesline sends Orton to Wrestlemania at 1:01:55.

Rating: C+. As is always the case, this one is going to need some time to process but I’m ok with Orton winning. There wasn’t a miles ahead winner this year so Orton is perfectly fine and it likely sets up Wyatt vs. Orton (likely for the title) at Wrestlemania. Reigns as #30 showed some massive balls from WWE, though I was very surprised at Samoa Joe not showing up.

Dillinger at #10 was the right move and Undertaker vs. Reigns could be…..uh…..I’ll get back to you on that when we know a bit more. Overall I’m happy but there was that WAY too long stretch in the middle with everyone lying around. The ending helped though and the Rumble was better than most recent years (save for last year of course).

Pyro wraps us up.

Overall Rating: B+. That’s one of the first times in a LONG time that WWE has beaten NXT. The card was solid enough to balance out a just ok Rumble, which is actually a pretty rare occurrence. We’re well on the Road to Wrestlemania now though and you can see a lot of the big matches from here. I’m glad it’s only two weeks until Elimination Chamber so a lot more of it can be set up but the Raw side scares me more and more every single day. Very strong show, but for some reason it doesn’t seem like it’s going to be all that memorable.

Results

Charlotte b. Bayley – Natural Selection onto the apron

Kevin Owens b. Roman Reigns – Pin after a powerslam from Braun Strowman

Neville b. Rich Swann – Rings of Saturn

John Cena b. AJ Styles – Attitude Adjustment

Randy Orton won the 2017 Royal Rumble last eliminating Roman Reigns

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