World War 3 1997
Date: November 23, 1998
Location: The Palace of Auburn Hills, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 17,128
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, Mike Tenay

Last show in this series here but not the last chronologically. It’s the final show before Starrcade 97 and the bullet that killed WCW. Anyway, the feature match here is of course the battle royal with the winner getting a shot at SuperBrawl which would later be changed to Uncensored (why Souled Out wasn’t an option is anyone’s guess). This is from when this was the hottest company in the world so I’d expect a lot more energy here than the next year. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is of a pilot/soldier in a decimated war zone with a destroyed ring in it. This is interspersed with clips of the show from the previous two years. Bet that cost more than some wrestlers’ salaries.

After the announcers talk for awhile we’re ready to go.

Glacier/Ernest Miller vs. Faces of Fear

Miller and Glacier aren’t total jokes yet and the Faces of Fear (Meng/Haku and Barbarian) are monsters at this point of course. We brawl to start and Meng vs. Glacier opens us up officially. Glacier moves around as much as he can but his shots don’t mean much at all. Standing armbar goes on and it’s off to Miller. It’s so weird to see Miller all serious like this instead of the James Brown thing.

Miller hammers on Barbarian but the three time world karate champion can’t put down the Tongan. Back off to Glacier as we’re up to speed vs. power here, making this mostly awesome. Miller dives on Barbarian on the floor, using Meng as a springboard. That looked rather awesome indeed. Jimmy Hart distracts Glacier and Barbarian runs him over.

Back in the ring Meng backdrops Glacier into a powerbomb by Barbarian for two in a sweet spot. We get into a basic face in peril sequence with Glacier getting beaten down. Powerslam by Meng gets two. Off to Barbarian in the corner and since Dusty isn’t here, I’ll say it: THEY BE CLUBBERIN TONY!!! THEY BE CLUBBERIN!!!

Apparently Barbarian used to play rugby on the Isle of Tonga. Why in the world would Tenay know that? I get that he’s the Professor but dude, does Barbarian even speak English? Another powerslam by Meng gets two. Time for the nerve hold which is an old Tongan/Samoan/Savage standard. We hear a cool story about Meng being a bodyguard for the Emperor of Japan as this needs to end rather soon.

Elbow drop misses and Miller still can’t get tagged in. We finally get to the hot tag and Miller cleans house. He kind of reminds me of Tajiri actually but a bit taller. Kicks all around, including one to Jimmy Hart. It’s not like it matters though as the Tongan Death Grip ends Miller cold.

Rating: C-. I’ve seen far worse actually. Not particularly good but it was light years better than the 10 minute squash that we got the next year with Glacier in there. This wasn’t anything I’ll remember in about five minutes but it was still decent enough for an opener and that double powerbomb spot was cool. Not terrible.

TV Title: Disco Inferno vs. Perry Saturn

Saturn had won the title in his debut off of Disco so this is his rematch. There’s your backstory. Oh and Saturn is in the Flock. Disco is being serious at the moment and he got the TV Title because of it. Raven comes to the ring with Saturn despite sitting in the front row pre match. Raven says let the stretching begin. Saturn immediately takes Disco down and the Inferno is frustrated.

Tenay vaguely references ECW by calling it an other organization. Saturn runs over Disco with power. So he can’t hang with him on the mat or power and Tenay said Saturn can fly. What chance does Disco have here exactly? Disco sends him to the floor as we hear about how during his six week reign with the title he never got a clean pin. Wait are we supposed to buy him as a credible guy or not?

Heenan might have picked Saturn for the battle royal but it’s not entirely clear. Disco makes Saturn take a break and then gets his head knocked off by a boot and clothesline. Atomic drop puts Saturn back down as this is a weird kind of back and forth. Disco hammers away with a back elbow and fist drop for two.

You may not believe this, but Disco does something incredibly intelligent here. You know that spot where a guy comes off the middle rope and jumps into a boot with no possible move they could have had other than jumping into the boot? Disco does it here but avoids the boot. Granted the elbow he attempted missed but I like what I saw there. T-Bone suplex to Disco has Saturn in control again.

Saturn covers him time after time but can’t get the pin. Second rope moonsault misses and Disco, who doesn’t have a finisher, tries a bunch of stuff for two. Saturn gets a backslide but sits down with it so that it’s like a sunset flip/backslide hybrid. Never seen that before. Disco is crotched on the top rope and Saturn hits a middle rope clothesline to send both guys to the floor.

They more or less fell onto the apron with that so it wasn’t the best looking move in the world. Disco yells at the Flock and hits Chartbusters (Stunners) on various members over the railing, including one on the debuting Lodi. He can’t hit one on Van Hammer and Saturn uses his chance to drill Disco and take over. Back to the middle ring and Disco gets a neckbreaker for two. Top rope cross body hits but Saturn rolls though into the Rings of Saturn (double arm hook submission) for the submission to retain.

Rating: C-. Not bad here but there were some bad spots. Also I still don’t know if we’re supposed to take Disco seriously even in his more serious persona or not. They didn’t seem to have much of a plan out there but that was somewhat typical of a Saturn match. Not bad though.

Yuji Nagata vs. Ultimo Dragon

Nagata has Sonny Onoo with him and if Dragaon, Onoo’s former protégé, loses then he gets five minutes with Sonny. Dragon has a bad arm thanks to Nagata. Dragon is fresh off one of the least interesting feuds over a title you’ll ever see, trading it twice with Alex Wright. Nagata is a much bigger star in Japan and takes over early by going after the arm, but Dragon fights his way out of it.

Nagata heads to the floor and Dragon follows. Sonny fires in some kicks so Dragon tries a suplex which Nagata breaks up to take over. Dragon grabs a headlock and gets suplexed. Nagata is one of the least interesting guys I’ve ever seen. Whenever his matches are on I can’t get interested in him at all. Piledriver gets two for Nagata. He grabs a chinlock and shifts it into a sleeper. Then he makes it even more interesting by going BACK to the chinlock! WOW!!!

Another Piledriver gets two. So is the BIG FREAKING BANDAGE on his arm not a big enough target that you should work on the arm? Nagata kicks him and heads to the camel clutch, shifting over to the back now. After that gets broken up he FINALLY works on the arm with a Fujiwara Armbar. Let’s hit that chinlock/sleeper again because that arm work can’t last that long.

Belly to belly overhead suplex gets two. Dragon avoids a backdrop and kicks the tar out of Nagata. Some Facewashes in the corner have Nagata in big trouble. Pescado is almost caught by a kick but Dragon catches the kick and hits a Dragon Screw Leg Whip to take Nagata down on the floor. Top rope cross body to the floor puts Nagata down again.

Back in and Dragon goes up again. Suplex off the top by Nagata is blocked and Dragon adds a moonsault for two. Dragon tries a suplex but Nagata reverses. That reversal is reversed into the Dragon Sleeper but Sonny distracts. Dragon Rana gets two but Sonny puts Nagata’s foot on the rope. We then get one of the sloppiest finishes I’ve EVER seen. Dragon tries a belly to back suplex but seems to fall towards the ropes. Nagata’s foot hits Sonny and Nagata falls on top. Dragon’s shoulder was up and he was in the ropes but the referee counted to four (yes four) anyway. That had to be at least one botch.

Rating: D+. I’m not a fan of Nagata at all and this didn’t help my opinion of him. Terribly boring match with a bad finish and a total lack of psychology. Once Dragon got going in there towards the end it was an improvement but it didn’t make up for the previous eight minutes or so. Nagata continues to bore me.

 

Tag Titles: Blue Bloods vs. Steiner Brothers

The Blue Bloods are Dave Taylor (old English dude) and Steve Regal (yes that Regal). This was when the Steiners were tag champions but the Outsiders had their own belts. This would result in the temporary “Unified” tag titles. Ted DiBiase is managing them here. Scott vs. Taylor to start us off here. Scott isn’t that far away from turning heel and breaking up the team.

We hear about how awesome the Steiners are, including their two tag title reigns from another promotion (WWF) and how dominant they are. The Dudleys would more or less destroy every record they had but until they came along it was all Steiners. The British dudes get thrown around with ease and are sent to the floor to hide a bit. Rick vs. Regal now and it’s a USA chant.

Regal tries to use his technical stuff so Rick grabs his hand and cranks on it to take over. Well no one ever accused Rick of being a mental giant. Regal takes over for a bit but gets cocky and Rick gets a Fujiwara Armbar of all things to take him down. Off to Scott who gets that sweet belly to belly for two. STF goes on for all of two seconds and it’s back off to Rick.

He goes for the arm of Regal again but as Dave has the referee, Regal gets a finger to the eye to take over. And never mind as Rick gets a shoulder block and powerslam to take over again. Regal gets a knee to the back of Scott and pulls the rope down to send Scott outside. Taylor goes for the arm and it’s back to Regal. He hooks Scott in a leg lock and brings Taylor back in.

The Brits have used a lot of European uppercuts and every time they’ve put the Steiners down. Regal tries to speed things up and walks into a belly to belly by Scott, allowing for a tag to Rick. Down goes everyone and it all breaks down. Scott backdrops Taylor onto Regal and the Steiner Bulldog ends Regal to retain.

Rating: C-. Just an extended squash here. I don’t get why the vast majority of these matches have been on this show so far. I guess because we can’t have a battle royal go on for three hours. Either way this was more or less exactly what you would expect here. The Blue Bloods were more or less tag team jobbers so this didn’t have any heat on it at all.

JJ Dillon says Raven has 24 hours to sign a contract or he’s gone.

Raven vs. Scotty Riggs

Riggs is in an eyepatch due to Raven hurting him. Kidman, a member of the Flock, insists on Raven’s Rules, meaning No DQ. Raven has been trying to get Riggs to join the Flock, so what do you think is coming at the end here? Riggs jumps him and beats on Raven for awhile in the kind of offense you would expect from a guy that has no chance at all. Riggs gets a rollup for two as Raven can’t get much going.

Heenan makes blind jokes which are kind of funny. First of all he suggests moving the patch to the other eye. That’s actually rather smart when you think about it. Raven uses the shirt around his waist to choke away and we head to the floor. Riggs reverses and sends him into the steps and chokes with a cord. Tony says Raven is helpless, just as he pops up with a jawbreaker. I love it when Tony looks like an idiot, which means I love a lot in WCW.

The announcers say Scotty has done nothing since Bagwell and he broke up which makes me laugh for some reason. Raven gets a chair and hits him in the back with it a few times for some weak shots. Riggs gets the drop toehold into the chair as a reversal to break Raven’s momentum. Modified Van Daminator by Riggs gets two.

Riggs manages a bulldog onto the chair which looked either awesome or awful and I’m not sure which. Either way it gets two. And never mind as there’s the Evenflow DDT to kill Riggs dead. Raven wants a microphone instead though. There’s a second DDT as he says he feels Riggs’ pain and that it hurts Raven more than Riggs. Heenan: I don’t think so. Raven shouts about feeling the pain again and a third DDT has Riggs unconscious. The referee counts him out and it’s over.

Rating: D+. What was the point of this being on PPV again? For the big blowoff for Raven vs. Riggs? Weak match all around and Raven looked completely dominant even though he got beaten up. I think he would sign the next night but I’m not sure. Either way he would have Riggs in the Flock then and that’s about it.

Steve McMichael vs. Bill Goldberg

This is over Mongo’s Super Bowl ring that Goldberg stole at the previous PPV. Mongo comes out with a pipe Goldberg’s music hits and there’s no Goldberg. Mongo says this isn’t happening and says he can sneak up on people too. We go to the back and Goldberg is out cold. So no one noticed the big man in his underwear out cold on the concrete just behind the entry way? Mongo more or less gives an open challenge, resulting in this.

Steve McMichael vs. Alex Wright

Wright isn’t here because he wants to be but because Debra, Mongo’s estranged wife, brings him out and more or less makes his fight. Wright whips him with his jacket to start. Wright is from Germany so wouldn’t that be a foreign object? Mongo is like screw this and hammers away, sending Wright to the floor. He tries to leave but Debra more or less makes him come back.

Alex tries to fight and gets slammed down to the mat with ease. Mongo is barely breaking a sweat in this. Was there a reason they didn’t have Goldberg in this that I’m not getting? Debra’s voice is irritating to put it mildly. Wright takes over for a very little bit with chops but McMichael takes out the knee. Side slam sets up the Tombstone to end it. Total and complete squash squash and no rating here. Heenan asks Who’s Next for Mongo. Nah that’ll never catch on.

Cruiserweight Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio

They’re coming off an absolute classic the previous month at Halloween Havoc. Eddie (not Eddy blast it!) is champion here. Also what is with the total lack of promos here? I think JJ had the only one so far. They start off with speed stuff to the shock of no one. Eddie is in gold tights and they’re really not working on him here. Rey gets that elevated snap mare to take Eddie down and it’s a stalemate.

The fans are all over Eddie here and his reaction is quite funny. Eddie ripped the mask off partially last time so we talk about that a bit here. Guerrero hits a German suplex and busts out some suplexes to take over. The problem here seems that they’re trying to have the match of the year rather than having a great match.

They fight towards the ropes and neither guy can take over. Hilo misses and Rey hits the floor. Both guys try dives but neither can hit them. Rey can’t get a sunset bomb so Eddie hits a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Back in and Eddie goes up, only to get blocked by Rey. Superplex by Eddie takes Rey down but the Frog Splash misses. Eddie rolls through and Rey gets a rana for two.

Flapjack puts Rey down but Eddie can’t get up either. After some shots by Eddie he drops Rey over the top rope and spanks himself a bit. Eddie tries a sunset bomb which is reversed into a rana by Rey. Rey adds a front flip over the ropes to end Eddie. That and a moonsault gets in the ring. Eddie charges and is sent into the post but powerbombs Rey out of a rana to take over again.

Gory Special goes on by Eddie and Rey is in trouble. Rey counters that into a sunset flip for two. Leg lariat puts Eddie down again but Rey doesn’t cover for no apparent reason. They try something from the top and Rey falls off in what looked like a mild botch. Moonsault press gets two for the guy in the mask. Dropping the Dime gets no cover as Rey wants to go up again. West Coast Pop with a flip gets two as Eddie grabs the rope. Awesome looking move. Rey tries to run at Eddie who is on the corner but Eddie gets a hot shot to block it. Frog Splash ends it.

Rating: B. Good match but their match the previous month gave them WAY too much to live up to. Naturally this was still great as their matches always would be. Not a classic but worth watching if you like these two. There were some botches in there and they were trying to live up to the previous month which never works at all.

Ad for Starrcade. Remarkable that they managed to screw that up, it truly is.

US Title: Ric Flair vs. Curt Hennig

Hennig had turned on Flair and the Horsemen at Fall Brawl, slamming Flair’s head in the door. He won the US Title soon thereafter and more or less hasn’t looked back since. This is Flair’s revenge match rather than for the title. It’s also No DQ and Hennig brings a chair with him. The referee gets rid of the chair which is kind of pointless but whatever. Hennig is wearing a Syxx shirt for no apparent reason.

Curt stalls like a Memphis man but gets caught on the floor and Ric hammers away. This is the last match before the battle royal too. We hit the crowd with Flair dominating. This is your usual brawl in the crowd with various punches and eye rakes along with people being rammed into objects. Flair is rammed into the railing as Curt dominates for awhile.

Back into the ring and Hennig chokes away with a cord and we go back to the floor. We hear about Flair playing football at the University of Minnesota which isn’t something you often hear about. Flair goes up top and drops a double axe onto Hennig into the railing by the throat but he might have hurt his ankle. Flair chops away as we talk about the battle royal with the various countries etc that are going to be here for the match. Good to know that a bunch of people we don’t know will be competing here.

Back into the ring (again) and the referee got poked in the eye by Hennig apparently instead of letting him count three. Hennig was covering Flair which means it was even stupider. He works on the leg with Flair losing his mind as usual of course. Heenan says you can forget the Figure Four now. Why do I not believe that in the slightest?

He drops a leg between Flair’s legs as Flair’s ankle is still hurt. Modified Indian Deathlock goes on by Hennig and he gets two on it as Flair is laying there. Ric fights out of it and gets a chopblock as the crowd is way into him, or at least his wooing. Snap mare puts Hennig down and drops the knee. After some right hands Flair goes up. Take a guess as to how this goes. Just take a guess.

They chop it out with Hennig easily getting the best of it, resulting in a Flair Flop for two. We slug it out in the corner a bit more with Flair tossing Hennig into the corner where Curt is crotched on the post as is his custom. Hennig drops low to avoid a chop as it’s Flair in control again. They ram heads though and both go down for a bit. Belly to back gets two for Flair.

To change the pace a bit, Hennig chops away in the corner. They’re in a different ring now also. Flair Flip in the corner and we go outside again. Scratch that as just Flair does as Hennig chills in the ring a bit which is probably pretty smart. They fight a bit on the floor with Hennig in control again. Flair sends him into the railing and both guys are down again.

Flair suplexes him back into the ring but that also only gets two. This is at about 15 minutes now and probably needs to end very soon. Flair gets a chair as I had forgotten this was a No DQ match. It gets set up in the ring and Flair crotches him on it and kicks the chair into the knee. Flair rams the knee with the chair and brings the belt into the ring. Figure Four goes on but the belt that is RIGHT NEXT TO HENNIG goes into Flair’s head and it’s over. Weak ending to say the least.

Rating: D+. This was WAY too long. This is nearly 18 minutes long and I legitimately forgot about the No DQ aspect of it for a very long time. I’m not sure what they were going for here as Flair is made to look like a guy that can’t get revenge in a match where he’s supposed to be dirty. Not a great match at all and very boring and repetitive as can be here.

World War 3

Chris Adams, Brad Armstrong, Marcus Bagwell, The Barbarian, Chris Benoit, Bobby Blaze, Booker T, Ciclope, Damien, El Dandy, Barry Darsow, Disco Inferno, Jim Duggan, Fit Finlay, Héctor Garza, The Giant, Glacier, Johnny Grunge, Juventud Guerrera, Chavo Guerrero, Jr., Eddy Guerrero, Scott Hall, Curt Hennig, Prince Iaukea, Chris Jericho, Lizmark, Jr., Lex Luger

Dean Malenko, Steve McMichael, Meng, Ernest Miller, Rey Misterio, Jr., Hugh Morrus, Mortis, Yuji Nagata, John Nord, Diamond Dallas Page, La Parka, Stevie Ray, Lord Steve Regal, The Renegade, Rocco Rock, Randy Savage, Silver King, Norman Smiley, Louie Spicolli, Rick Steiner, Scott Steiner, Super Calo, Squire David Taylor, Ray Traylor, Último Dragón, Greg Valentine, Villaño IV, Villaño V, Vincent, Kendall Windham, Wrath and Alex Wright

What you might notice is that there are only 59 names there, so yes it’s time for shenanigans. As far as people you might not know, the only one that pops off the page to me is John Nord, who is more famous as the Berzerker. The introductions are odd as they say the wrestlers can go from ring to ring. What sense does that make?? Also once we get down to five people per ring we go to the middle. So if they get down to five in a ring and the other rings aren’t yet we just stop? See why this match tended to suck? The rules rarely made sense. Just have a freaking battle royal. How hard is that to accomplish?

As usual the entrances take about 5 minutes. They seem to be a bit faster this year though, mainly due to some people coming out in groups. The Giant is the defending champion and has a broken hand here. There’s an NWO member missing let the confusion begin. The missing one is apparently Kevin Nash who might be out with a knee injury.

The bell rings and we immediately go split screen, meaning YOU CAN’T SEE ANYTHING!!! WCW didn’t get this through their heads until the final year when they just didn’t film everything in every ring, like the intelligent people would suggest. Let’s get this over with. Lizmark Jr. and Disco Inferno plus anyone else Giant touches are gone. He must have gotten four people at a time. Louie Spicolli and a Villano are out.

La Parka is out. Expect a lot of “so and so” is out, just like Norman Smiley. Public Enemy goes after Meng and Grunge is put out. Ring 2, the Giant’s ring, is emptying quickly. DDP just walks into another ring. Scott Hall puts out El Dandy. I guess Hall didn’t doubt him. The NWO is in ring 1. Bobby Blaze is gone. Ring 2 has like 30 people in it. Or is that 3? The announcers say 2 and the graphic says 3. Whatever man. It’s in the middle.

Graphic now says 2. Flair isn’t here either apparently. Who replaced him I wonder since they made it clear he was an entrant during his match. Stevie Ray hangs on with a rake to the eyes. We’ve more or less stopped checking the other rings. Brad Armstrong is gone. Silver King is gone. Damien, a luchador, is thrown out. DDP and Wrath go at it but Wrath hangs on.

DDP tosses Prince Iaukea. Nagata is out so the match is less boring now. Wrath and Renegade are gone and fight up the aisle. No idea how many people are left at the moment. Ring 1 is rather empty now with maybe 7 people left and all of the NWO in still. Jericho is out. Hall winds up hanging on by one hand but the NWO runs in for the save to keep him in.

Greg Valentine is gone. Giant’s hand is killing him so Mortis and Duggan double team him. The people keep switching rings so you can’t tell who is where and who is left as you think they’re eliminated but they’re in a different ring. Most annoying indeed. Ring 3 is mostly empty now while ring 1 is a lot more full now. Harlem Heat beats on Chris Adams. Adams is gone but tries to sneak back in ala his most famous student: Steve Austin.

Ray Traylor (Big Boss Man) chokes Savage as Finlay is gone. Page and Benoit fight to the apron but both get back in. We’re roughly halfway done here as Dave Taylor is gone. Page and Malenko put I think Benoit out. Yep that was him. Miller puts Malenko out. Ring 3 seems to have Meng, Giant, Alex Wright and Mortis. Duggan is out to some booing. Miller is gone.

Leave it to the WCW cameras to focus on Giant’s hand. That’s all you see in the entire ring. Barbarian goes out and McMichael is also in ring 3. Rey puts Eddie out and gets ganged up on by the NWO who finally gets him out. Traylor is gone as is Darsow. Wait Mysterio pulled a John Morrison/Shawn Michaels and is hanging on to the apron! Mongo is out as are Wright and Mortis. Giant and Meng are the only ones left in that ring. Luger, Harlem Heat, DDP and Rick Steiner are in another ring and the NWO remain in the other.

Stevie Ray is out so we have ten left I think. Giant DROPKICKS Meng out. That was incredible and he wins the ring. Ok so it’s Vincent, Hall, Savage, Bagwell, Hennig, DDP, Rick Steiner, Luger and Booker T. The NWO won’t change rings and say come over here. They beat up the referee who says go to the other ring. Giant chills in the ring while the other four change to the NWO ring.

Ah there’s Giant so they’re all in the ring closest to the entrance because clearly the most fans can see them there right? Diamond Cutter to Vincent and a HUGE pop. Giant rolls Vincent out to get our first NWO guy out. Booker is out via someone we didn’t see as is Rick Steiner. Bagwell talks to the camera so Giant rams Bagwell and Savage’s heads together.

Luger hammers on Hennig on the second rope and doesn’t get tossed. Luger wakes up and hammers on people but gets jumped by the NWO. Giant comes over and puts out Bagwell, Hennig and Luger, leaving us with Savage, Giant, Hall and DDP. There’s a decent midcard tag match in there somewhere. Savage fights Page while Hall gets beaten up by the Giant. Giant slams Hall instead of throwing him out.

Savage wants an elbow to DDP but Giant stands in front of him. Savage, the crazy man that he is, jumps anyway and gets caught. He doesn’t get tossed though but takes a Diamond Cutter. Giant won’t let him get tossed though because he wants to chokeslam him. Savage is more or less dead and is tossed with ease to get us to three. The next year it would be the same three but with Nash instead of Giant.

More or less it’s a handicap match with Hall vs. Giant/DDP. Hall heads to another ring which is pretty smart actually. He does the point and here comes….no one as the NWO music starts and ends. Hogan’s music kicks on and is here now instead. So apparently Hogan, the WORLD CHAMPION, is #60, being allowed to skip 25 minutes of the match to potentially win a title shot against….himself? There are 7 minutes left so let’s just go with it.

We get a tag match now with Hogan fighting Giant and Hall vs. DDP. Ok so during Hogan’s two minute or so long intro, did Giant and DDP just stand there instead of going after Hall? Six minutes left so I don’t particularly care here. The fans want Sting as the NWO starts dominating. Hogan slams Giant to a big pop. Hall is sat on the top rope by Giant as DDP is crotched on the top rope.

Bear hug to Hall as Sting rappels from the ceiling, somehow about 10 inches taller and with darker hair. Hogan eliminates himself to run from Not-Sting and Not-Sting hits Giant with the bat to eliminate him as I guess DDP went out somewhere. Not-Sting points the bat at Hall as the fans chant Nash, having basic intelligence. The NWO celebrates to end this stupid, stupid match. Hogan gives DDP a Diamond Cutter to take us to the credits. Yes WCW had credits.

Rating: F+. Where do I even begin? Awful in every sense of the word with nothing making sense and the whole thing being a disaster. The switching of the rings thing made it virtually impossible to know who was where. The ending was just idiotic as Hogan apparently can just walk into a match he’s not a part of and has no business being involved in as he’s competing for a shot at something he already has. Nash made things look stupid and the whole thing was just a mess from start to finish. Also the triple camera didn’t help either.

Overall Rating: D-. Just a terribly dull show with nothing going on at all that was worth seeing. Rey vs. Eddie is good but it’s got nothing on the previous match they had at the last show. This was a very boring show overall as it was clear that Starrcade was all set in stone already. Not a good show in any sense of the word and boring beyond belief. BIG pass here.

 

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Mayhem 1999
Date: November 21, 1999
Location: Air Canada Center, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 13,839
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan

 

Since TNA is stupid and had two Final Resolutions in 2008, you get this until I can find a copy. This is WCW Canadian PPV debut so the main event is a tournament final of Benoit vs. Hart for the world title. The title was vacated this time because WCW decided to have the world champion’s (Sting) opponent (Hogan) at Halloween Havoc lay down for him and then have Goldberg squash Sting so the title was vacated and we got a tournament. That’s Russo for you. Let’s get to it.

 

The opening video is about the final four in the tournament: Hart, Benoit, Sting and Jarrett.

 

Oh and this show is named after a video game, not vice versa.

 

We have a double main event: the tournament final and Sid vs. Goldberg in an I Quit match.

 

The fans want Flair as Tony and Bobby run down the card. Why we need to hear this is beyond me but I guess it makes sense to the bosses.

 

WCW World Title Tournament Semi-Final: Chris Benoit vs. Jeff Jarrett

 

Jarrett takes him down to start and slaps him in the back of the head which ends badly for him. Benoit busts out a tornado DDT for two. Neckbreaker gets the same as Benoit is trying for as many pins as he can get. Superplex hits for two as well. This is all within the first 90 seconds. I’m not skipping a bunch of stuff. Out to the floor and Benoit chops away. A chop misses and Jarrett crotches Benoit against the post to finally slow him down.

 

Back inside and a powerslam gets two for Jeff. They hit a pinfall reversal sequence. This is faster and more crisp than anything I can remember in WCW in years. Jeff grabs a sleeper and Benoit is in trouble. He escapes but Jeff gets it again. This time Benoit hits a jawbreaker and both guys are down. The Canadian hits some Germans on the American and here comes Creative Control (Harris Brothers as the muscle of the Powers That Be).

 

Benoit is sent to the floor but Jeff doesn’t want the win by countout. That’s strangely galant of him. A top rope cross body is rolled through for two for Benoit and when he sits on a Jarrett sunset flip he gets the same result. Belly to back sets up the swan dive but Creative Control pulls Benoit out. The other member beats Benoit down to huge boos. There’s the Stroke but Dustin Rhodes comes out to break up the pin and beats up Creative Control. There’s the guitar but Benoit gets it and clocks Jarrett (totally against his character) to go to the finals.

 

Rating: B-. This was on the path to being a great match but then it’s Russo booking a big time match and therefore we must have three run-ins and a weapon shot. When have you ever seen a face Benoit use a weapon? The opening part of this was GREAT though and if they had kept that up for the entire match it would have been an easy A.

 

JJ and CC beat down Benoit post match to MONSTER heat.

 

Disco says he respects his Cruiserweight Title and the $25,000 he can win doesn’t mean as much as the belt. Jarrett and Creative Control pop up to beat him down too.

 

Cruiserweight Title: Evan Karagis vs. Disco Inferno

 

Title vs. money here. Wait both guys have put up money meaning Evan can win the title and money while Disco can only win the money. That’s not exactly fair. Evan also has Madusa with him. Disco has some issues getting to the ring due to the beating. Tony Marinara (Tony Mamaluke from ECW) is with him as his inspiration/lackey. Evan jumps him in the aisle and we start up in the aisle for a bit.

 

Marinara sits in on commentary. He’s very annoying so far and is talking about how Disco owes him money or something which would go on for about a year and never went anywhere. It did bring in the Mamalukes though. Disco fires away with some kicks in the corner that are so hard Evan is falling down before they hit. The champ hits a pair of suplexes and dances.

 

Evan gets two off a crucifix but is taken down by a clothesline. This is a pretty bland match so far. Marinara is getting more annoying with every word he says. A middle rope elbow gets two for Disco. Madusa picks up Evan on the floor and the power of looks is enough to inspire him to dropkick Disco as he jumps off the apron at him.

 

Powerslam gets two for Karagis. The announcers debate what the belt is worth with the value stretching from $150 to 50 grand. There’s a LOUD boring chant as Disco hits a DDT. Marinara gets up to hit on Madusa and the distraction causes Disco to grab a chair and put it upside Tony’s head. A springboard cross body gives Karagis the title which he would lose to Madusa.

 

Rating: D. This was a terribly dull match with neither guy being interesting at all. They just kind of did moves to each other for 8 minutes. I don’t think anyone knew who Marinara was and I don’t think anyone really cared. Disco was best served as a comedy act but instead they made him a champion because the other Cruiserweights actually had something to do. Bad match.

 

Bret is just getting here.

 

The Powers That Be (Russo with his face not being seen), yells at Jarrett and says he has to fix it tonight. Jeff says he’ll do it.

 

Norman Smiley says he’s ready to become Hardcore Champion and is scared by construction going on.

 

Hardcore Title: Brian Knobs vs. Norman Smiley

 

This is a tournament final to determine the first champion. Smiley comes out in a Maple Leafs jersey. The Hardcore Title is the exact same shape as the ECW World Title. Knobs takes over to start with some weapon shots. He’s in an old school Nasty Boys shirt while Norman is in full hockey gear minus the helmet. A middle rope trashcan shot misses so Norman cracks him in the head with it.

 

Norman gets the hockey stick and Tony tries to sound like he knows something about hockey. The Big Wiggle is broken up and there go the shin guards. Why are wrestlers so obsessed with taking opponents’ clothes off? Jimmy Hart jumps on Norman’s back and Norman gets to have his one instance of physical dominance. They head to the back with Knobs hitting him in the head and Norman stumbles back to the entrance.

 

There’s a camera waiting on them and Norman gets in a chair shot to the ribs. It’s your usual hardcore match from the late 90s meaning there’s a table set up with Norman going head first into it. Knobs goes into a bunch of boxes which are empty. He screams anyway because he’s Screamin Norman Smiley. They get to the food stuff and not yet prepared food is tossed around. They fight into an elevator and the door shuts. Jimmy opens it up but when he swings the trashcan it hits Knobs and Norman gets the pin and the title. Yes, Jimmy Hart just physically ended a match.

 

Rating: D+. It’s a hardcore match from the late 90s. The problem is that it’s Brian Knobs in there instead of someone that means something anymore. In WWF this would have been people like Al Snow or Road Dogg, as in people still relevant at the time. This wasn’t anything of note and is the same match you would see a dozen times over the next year on PPV.

 

Post match Jimmy is thrown into some hamburger buns.

 

We recap the Revolution vs. the Filthy Animals. It’s your usual stable gang warfare. There was a pole match involving getting Torrie out of a cage. There was a moment where Rey (Animals) was hung by the leg from the top of a cage and they destroyed his knee so he’s not in this.

 

The Revolution talks about what if’s and Saturn goes into a rant about dinosaurs.

 

The Animals say they’ll win and they’re not worried.

 

Disco talks to Tony Marinara and Tony says he’s going to get his boys.

 

Jarrett has what looks to be a 2×4 and is going to look for someone.

 

Filthy Animals vs. Revolution

 

This is an elimination match. It’s Eddie/Kidman/Asya (Chyna ripoff) vs. Torrie/Saturn/Malenko. Shane Douglas of the Revolution is on commentary. Eddie and Kidman clean house as they’re trying to keep Torrie (a spry 24 here and drop dead gorgeous) out of the ring. We start officially with Eddie vs. Dean which works almost every time. They head to the floor so Saturn takes them out with an Asai moonsautl. Kidman dives on them too and then Torrie sets for one. Asya gets her hands on Torrie and it turns into something like a catfight.

 

Kidman plants Asya with a Sky High as Torrie has a bad ankle. Eddie shoves Kidman into Malenko as he’s checking on Torrie but it lets Malenko roll Kidman up for the first elimination. Eddie is destroyed by Malenko and Saturn, taking a backbreaker/knee drop combo. Asya comes in and beats on Eddie a bit, hitting an eye popping Davey Boy Smith delayed vertical for two.

 

Back to Eddie vs. Dean with Dean in control via a suplex. Eddie gets out of it and hits a standing rana for a pin to eliminate Dean and get us down to Eddie/Torrie vs. Saturn/Asya with Torrie having an injured ankle still. Asya comes in and beats on Eddie with another suplex getting two. Saturn accidentally superkicks Asya and a frog splash makes it 2-1 with Saturn vs. Torrie/Eddie.

 

It’s so weird thinking of Eddie as a Filthy Animal when he left as one of the Radicalz with a lot of the Revolution in two months. Saturn hooks a sleeper hold on Eddie but a jawbreaker gets him out of it. Scratch that as he’s right back in it. Now Eddie puts a sleeper on Saturn. Why do people that just easily escaped a sleeper think it’s such a good move to use immediately afterwords?

 

Saturn tries a spinning springboard clothesline but Eddie steps to the side and dropkicks him down. Something like a tornado DDT gets two. Eddie jumps into a Death Valley Driver for two. Shane is losing it on commentary and is more entertaining than anything I’ve ever heard him say or do. Saturn misses a top rope elbow so Eddie tries the same move he got rid of Dean with but it only gets two. Eddie tries a top rope cross body but Saturn rolls through into the Rings of Saturn to give us Saturn vs. Torrie. Torrie kicks him low and Shane gets on the apron. Saturn hits Torrie low which gets him the pin for the win.

 

Rating: C-. Not bad but I really don’t get the idea of having the girls in there. This would have been a lot better if they just had a tag match with the four guys or maybe threw in another dude to fight Asya. There wasn’t anything great here and the ending was really pretty stupid. I can think of worse ways to kill ten minutes though.

 

Jeff and Creative Control are beating up Buff Bagwell now.

 

Curt Hennig vs. Buff Bagwell

 

This is a career vs. career match and the video package during Curt’s entrance doesn’t really do much of a good job of explaining why that’s the stipulation. There’s no Bagwell due to the beating so here are Jarrett and CC. Hennig tries to fight them off but he’s outnumbered. Here’s Bagwell who is fine and has a 2×4. He runs off the heels who have been in about 5 scenes tonight and the match begins.

 

Hennig controls early and we head to the floor with Bagwell going into the railing a few times. As they’re getting back in though Hennig is shoved off the apron and into the railing himself. And he still managed to do it perfectly. This is far closer to a brawl than a match which is Russo 101. Hennig is a lot more popular because he’s talented and old school while Bagwell is more or less a douche.

 

Off to a sleeper (popular move tonight) by Hennig which goes on for a long time. Buff fires off some punches and dances a lot but the fans do not care at all. Why would you think that in an old WWF town in a country that takes wrestling seriously that fans would want to see that dancing stuff? Not that it matters as Hennig controls 80% of the match but walks into a Blockbuster that is as out of nowhere as it sounds to make Hennig “retire”.

 

Rating: D. What a boring match this was. The fans were all over Bagwell who was the face in this I think and they gave Hennig a standing ovation after the loss. The match was awful, primarily because Bagwell wasn’t any good at making people care or being able to have an interesting match. He had a good finisher and a good body and that’s it. Hennig would unretire the next night and had his next televised match in 8 days.

 

Sting, the heel in his match against Bret, says he should be champion because he never lost the title. It’s Showtime.

 

WCW World Title Tournament Semi-Finals: Bret Hart vs. Sting

 

Sting is in a t-shirt and tights and has big hair. Feeling out process to start and they stare each other down a lot. Bret slugs away and the fans pop HARD. They brawl to the floor because Bret Hart is incapable of having a wrestling match in a ring right? Sting wrestles like a heel, raking Bret’s eyes to break his momentum. This is a very interesting thing to see as Sting is wrestling as a heel in front of a crowd that believes him to be a heel. This has happened all of maybe twice ever.

 

Bret gets in a single shot to take over and the crowd explodes. Sting kicks him in the little maple leafs and actually hits the big elbow for two. They go to the floor again and Bret is sent into the announce table. The Stinger Splash onto the table misses and we head back inside. The referee goes down and here’s Lex with a ball bat to beat up Sting. Bret beats up Luger and puts him in the Sharpshooter which somehow gives Bret a DQ win. Bret doesn’t want it that way but he’s stuck with it.

 

Scratch that he’s not stuck with it as Bret demands we keep going so we keep going. Bret goes off on Sting with the original Five Moves of Doom including the Canadian hitting a Russian on the American. The elbow is blocked by a boot to the chin and Sting limps into the Scorpion which he has some torque on for once. Bret counters that into the Sharpshooter and Bret is in the Finals.

 

Rating: D+. This match right here sums up Vince Russo’s issues in a nutshell. Sting was past his prime at this point and Bret wasn’t great but he still could have a decent match in the ten minutes they had here. Did we need the run-in and the ball bat? No, we didn’t. The ending they did here could have worked fine and would have made a good ending kind of like his Summerslam 91 match. However, Vince Russo says no that’s not a good idea and we need to have people running in and weapon shots because I guess the fans can’t enjoy wrestling. That’s Russo in a nutshell: he had no faith in actual wrestling.

 

Sting calls Bret back in for a handshake post match.

 

Benoit says it’s an honor to wrestle Bret again here and he’ll test the Best There Is/Was/Ever Will Be moniker.

 

Luger is already in a neck brace and says it’ll be a permanent thing. He can’t wrestle tonight either so he’ll pay the fans something for an apology. The details aren’t really clear.

 

Vampiro vs. Berlyn

 

This is a collar match and Vampiro has Jerry Only of the band the Misfits with him. Berlyn is Alex Wright in something resembling a Neo-Nazi deal. It was rather weird to say the least. Dr. Death Steve Williams and Oklahoma, one of the creative writers making fun of JR. Immediately Berlyn hits the referee. Vampy kicks Berlyn and Wall hits Vampiro. A second referee comes down as Wall beats up Vampiro and Berlyn is on the floor.

 

Wall misses a big boot and gets crotched as Berlyn beats up Jerry Only. Oklahoma’s impression of JR is pretty good. I think the match has started now but I’m not sure. Oklahoma makes up a bunch of football stats for the three guys as Wall hits a HUGE chokeslam and is tied to Vampiro now. Berlyn yells at the Wall who takes the collar off.

 

I have no idea what the point of this is or if the bell ever rant in the first place. Oklahoma: “This Berlyn is tougher than Chinese algebra.” Wall walks out and Vampiro hits a release superplex. Only (not a wrestler) comes in for the double team and The Nail in the Coffin (Michinoku Driver) sets up a camel clutch with the chain for the pin.

 

Rating: N/A. The bell never rang so I don’t think this was an actual match. As for the match, I have no idea why it’s on the card as Vampy and Berlyn were ever chained together at any time. It wasn’t a good match or anything either as Wall was the one out there doing most of the work while a singer that most people probably didn’t know was beaten up. I don’t get the point of this at all.

 

Steve Williams comes in and beats down both guys post match. So THAT was the point of it.

 

Scott Hall (POP) talks about Rick Steiner not being here for the title vs. title match. Hall is the new TV Champion because Steiner can’t defend it. He was already the US Champion. Hall issues an open challenge for later.

 

Hennnig is leaving and is congratulated by some guys as he leaves.

 

Kimberly is here, an hour and thirty five minutes into the show.

 

Meng vs. Total Package

 

Luger is the Package for those of you uninitiated. He’s in the neck collar and hasn’t been wanting to wrestle at all lately so this is a continuation of that story. Luger gets his shirt ripped off quickly and there go the pants too. Again, WHAT IS WITH THE RIPPING OFF OF MEN’S CLOTHING??? Luger goes to the eyes and manages to suplex Meng despite having a bad neck. The suplex isn’t sold either so we’ll call it even.

 

They go outside for a bit and Luger hammers away as they come back in. Meng tries the Tongan Death Grip but he can’t get past the neck brace. Instead he steps on the throat while we talk about the main event. Powerslam gets two for Lex. He rams Meng’s head into the buckle. I guess when they say Total Package that doesn’t include intelligence as YOU DON’T HIT A SAMOAN IN THE HEAD. Meng starts his comeback as this is going in slow motion. Liz has some spray or something but it hits Luger instead. Meng takes the brace off and the Death Grip ends it.

 

Rating: D. In other words, Liz was Jimmy Hart, Luger was Brian Knobs and Meng was Norman Smiley. I’ll give Russo this: I’ve seen him go shorter than this between using the same style of an ending. This was another match where I have no idea what the point of this being on the PPV was but I’m sure it made sense at the time. I’m not being serious with that last line but I thought I’d try being nice for a change.

 

Bret says he’ll win and Luger walks behind him ranting about his loss. Bret doesn’t stop talking.

 

David Flair is “polishing his crowbar” for his time where he’ll try to hold Kimberly down against her will later or make her scream about how she can’t take it anymore.

 

US Title/TV Title: Scott Hall vs. ???

 

Booker T accepts the challenge. Hall is so over it’s incredible. Since it was more newsworthy when he was sober than the other way around though, that would never result in a world title run. He says Nash is coming and they’re going to have a party later. Hall rams his shoulders into Booker for that signature spot of his. Booker fires off a hook kick and is booed during the cover.

 

Side slam gets two. Hall gets knocked to the floor but comes back with a chokeslam for two. Much like any other match with it being thrown together on the fly like this, there’s not much to it because there’s no story or hatred to it. Fallaway slam puts Booker down and we go to the floor again. Off to a sleeper as the fans are looking at something to the right of the ring. Here are Jarrett and Creative Control AGAIN. They go after Booker, he fights them off, Booker gets caught in the Outsider’s Edge and Hall retains.

 

Rating: D+. Again, WHAT WAS THE POINT??? In this case I’m talking about the run-in. This is what, the third match they’ve been involved with? We get it: he’s trying to disrupt things. Can we please have a match that ends cleanly? Is it that much to ask? Oh wait Russo is running things SO OF COURSE IT IS. This gets really frustrating after awhile.

 

Midnight, the black Chyna ripoff, makes the save for the post match beatdown.

 

Lex can’t find Liz.

 

We recap Kimberly vs. David Flair. She wanted to sleep with David Flair but got Ric instead. David went insane because of it and wanted to beat her for some reason. I still don’t get the point of this.

 

Kimberly vs. David Flair

 

Let’s get this over with. She does look good at least. Kimberly stretches a lot to try to distract David. Within thirty seconds, Flair is kicked low (no effect) and the referee is shoved. David gets the crowbar and she gets on her knees in front of him. Crowd: “SUCK IT SUCK IT SUCK IT!” She reaches for his crotch and pulls his cup out so she can kick him in the balls. The fans are dead.

 

David picks up the crowbar but Kanyon comes out to beat him up. Now here’s DDP to hit the Diamond Cutter on David. His ribs are killing him though. DDP gets the crowbar but Arn Anderson comes out and takes the bar away from him. David hits Arn with the crowbar and leaves, I guess ending this.

 

Rating: N/A. Get me a wrestling match and I’ll rate it. Kimberly looked great.

 

Arn is taken out on a stretcher to fill in some time.

 

We recap Sid vs. Goldberg which is part of Sid’s Millennium Man deal where he was going to break Goldberg’s record for a win streak which turned into a comedy deal where chokeslamming people counted as wins and all that jazz. They kept having big brawls and the Streak might have been broken. It’s not mentioned but who cares about stuff like that I suppose.

 

Sid says he’ll never say I Quit. It’s an I Quit match if that wasn’t mentioned.

 

Sid Vicious vs. Goldberg

 

Sid jumps him during the entrance and the piped in chants begin. You can tell as no one is moving yet everyone is chanting. Sid is knocked to the floor and they slug it out again. Sid is WAY over and there’s a cobra clutch slam to Goldberg. Another cobra clutch slam sets up a chokeslam and make that a pair of them. Goldberg counters a choke into a cross armbreaker and is booed out of the building. Back to the arm and Goldberg isn’t sure what to do. Off to something resembling a cobra clutch and Sid is out cold in maybe 20 seconds to end it minus saying I Quit.

 

Rating: F. Well let’s see. In an I Quit match between two monsters, it was a standard Goldberg match with a sloppy looking hold to end it. What was the point of this? I know I’ve asked that a lot tonight but that’s what I leave most of these matches asking: what did that happen for? Nothing match and it does little for either guy.

 

Lex blames Liz for the loss and threatens her despite not being able to find her.

 

WCW World Title: Bret Hart vs. Chris Benoit

 

Long feeling out process that leads to Bret hooking an armbar. The fans are for Bret but they’re not against Benoit if that makes sense. Benoit tries a comeback with various strikes but a sunset flip is rolled through into a Sharpshooter attempt. Benoit avoids that into a Crossface attempt but Bret grabs the rope. They’re still cool though and have a handshake.

 

Bret throws him to the floor and a fan jumps out of the crowd in a hockey jersey and face paint to beat up Benoit. It’s Malenko so Bret beats up him and mark run-in #1 since Bret Hart vs. Chris Benoit in Canada with over 15 minutes isn’t enough to have a good match right? Benoit fights back with more basic stuff like a backdrop. Bret might have bad ribs so Benoit starts firing off the suplexes.

 

A tombstone looks to set up the swan dive which hits but here’s Scott Hall to take out the referee. Nash is here too with a chair but here’s Goldberg to fight them off. Hall and Hart fight up the aisle as Benoit is down. The Outsiders leave and we have a second referee. Goldberg jumps the Outsiders and beats them to the back as Benoit starts in on Bret’s knee. Since the world title match isn’t important enough we go split screen to see the Outsiders get pulled off Goldberg.

 

Ok NOW we can get into the title match, 12 minutes into it. Benoit hooks on the figure four and Bret’s knee has been worked over. Bret grabs the rope and goes to a comeback, hitting a backbreaker for two. A top rope superplex hits and both guys are down. Benoit’s back is getting messed up quickly here which means it’s Sharpshooter time soon. Benoit falls on top of Bret in a slam for two and goes to the outside to try to clear his head. He counters a suplex back in and hits the Rolling Germans. He goes for the Crossface but Bret rolls out. Bret grabs the legs into the Sharpshooter and Bret wins the title.

 

Rating: C+. Pretty good match but the run-ins crippled it just like the rest of the matches tonight. I mean seriously, you have two of the best ever out of Canada and this is what you decide to do to them? The match was kind of a mess on top of that as different parts were worked on until the ending where Bret picked the back which made sense. It’s a good match but it was running with an anchor.

 

Tony calls this “just another chapter in Bret’s career.” Nice way to sell this as a huge moment.

 

Overall Rating: D. I have no idea what they were going for here. The CONSTANT run-ins aren’t redeemed by a long and fairly good main event. How many times have you heard that about Impact in the past say two years? Two matches, as in the main event and the elimination tag are over ten minutes long. The idea is to have short matches on TV to set up the long ones on PPV. Russo never quite gets that, but there are a lot of things he doesn’t get. Nothing to see here for the most part.

 

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Monday Nitro #143
Date: June 29, 1998
Location: Ice Palace, Tampa, Florida
Attendance: 10,900
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan, Larry Zbyszko

We’re 13 days away from Bash at the Beach and of course the major story tonight is the NBA tag match. Tonight also marks the first appearance of Karl Malone on the show, meaning Tony will constantly tell us how nothing has ever been bigger in the history of our sport. The hype wound up working due to how successful the PPV was but man alive it’s not easy to sit through week in and week out. Let’s get to it.

The Nitro Girls get us going. Not a bad way to start.

The announcers intro the show and Larry can’t pronounce anticipation.

Gene brings out Kevin Greene for an opening chat. Greene doesn’t remember Hennig’s name but he does remember Goldberg, who he calls the best wrestler in the last 30 years. He plugs the tag match at the PPV and leaves. This was maybe 45 seconds long.

Kanyon vs. Horace

Kanyon starts fast with a Moss Covered Three Handled Family Credenza (starts like a fisherman’s suplex but into a swinging neckbreaker instead of a suplex) for two before stomping Horace down into the corner. A Lodi distraction lets Horace clothesline Kanyon to the floor though and Horace follows up with a suicide dive. Not a bad one either.

Kanyon is whipped into the stop sign against the barricade which is legal because all of the Flock’s matches are under Raven’s Rules. Or the referee is a dolt. Back inside and Horace superplexes Kanyon down for two but gets caught in a swinging neckbreaker. Kanyon comes back with a fireman’s carry into a pancake for no cover as Kanyon has to go after Lodi. Horace gets two off a big boot but walks into the Flatliner for the pin.

Rating: C-. Decent little match here as Kanyon continues to look great in the ring almost every time. Horace is a better power guy than he’s given credit for, but that’s what you have to expect when the guy is Hulk’s nephew. The Kanyon vs. Raven blowoff match should be solid once we finally get there.

Post match the Flock hits the ring but Kanyon holds them off. Raven himself finally comes in and the distraction lets the Flock take Kanyon down. Raven says Kanyon standing alone is usually honorable but today it’s foolish. The Evenflow lays Kanyon out.

A semi-truck is on the way but not even in Florida yet according to Tony.

Opening sequence, nearly 20 minutes into the show.

The announcers talk about the tag match again.

We get the phone call from Thunder from Page saying he and Malone are driving a big rig from Salt Lake City to Nitro with a surprise inside. The surprise: a bunch of chairs. Seriously, he said there was a surprise inside then said there’s nothing but chairs inside. I’m guessing that’s another slip of the tongue.

Back to the helicopter shot of the truck with Tony saying it’s been in Florida all day, contradicting what he said five minutes ago. He’s getting better if nothing else.

The Black and White is arming itself with various metal weapons such as crowbars and chains.

More fans think Page and Malone are going to win.

Here’s Stevie Ray who has demanded TV time tonight. He’s got a problem with that pipsqueak Chris Benoit and that ex-football player Steve McMichael. Everybody knows he could beat both of them one on one but Booker T wants a tag match. Stevie won’t say where Booker is right now but he’ll be here later for a tag match if the challenge is accepted.

Little Dragon vs. Eddie Guerrero

Dragon is another guy from Dragon Gate who is better known as Dragon Kid. This is his only WCW appearance, meaning the fans aren’t exactly thrilled with him. Eddie quickly takes him down by the arm but Dragon flips out and hits a handspring elbow in the corner. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker puts Dragon down again and Eddie hits the slingshot hilo to his back.

The fans chant for Chavo so Eddie hits a brainbuster. He looks all over the place for Chavo before going up for the frog splash. Here’s Chavo riding a hobby horse named Pepe and telling Eddie (“Little Trooper”) to keep going. Eddie tries to steal the horse and the distraction lets Dragon roll Eddie up for the pin.

Rating: D+. The match wasn’t bad but was more for the story than the match itself. Chavo is completely insane by this point and the character is getting over as a result. Imagine that: a veteran doing a story with a younger guy and the younger guy getting over. Also notice that Eddie hasn’t lost any of his heat at all and is getting better reactions from the crowd. Why is this such a hard concept to grasp?

Chris Jericho offers Ultimo Dragon a title shot on Thunder if Dragon takes Malenko out tonight.

More Nitro Girls.

Nitro Party winner.

Sumo Fuji/Judo Suwa vs. Giant

Rude and Hennig are here with Giant and Rude’s beard is getting out of control. Wade Boggs is here and Larry is furious for him shaking hands with the NWO. Neither Japanese guy comes up past Giant’s chest. Giant kicks Judo in the face and a double chokeslam ends this in less than 45 seconds.

The NWO clears the Dragon Gate guys out of the ring and says if Kevin Greene wants some right now, come get it. Greene comes to the aisle on his own with Hennig talking a lot of trash about the “non-athlete”. Goldberg shows up behind Greene and the good guys clear the ring. The Goldberg chant comes on, despite the crowd shots showing no one actually chanting.

More fans think Page and Malone will win.

Here are Hogan and Bischoff with something to say. Hogan sings (meaning recites) his theme song’s lyrics on the way to the ring. Tony describes Hogan as magnificent, which doesn’t sound like something you say about your hated rival. Eric says Hogan used to want to be a truck mechanic so he can help if Malone and Page break down. Hogan talks about beating up truck drivers in Tampa years ago and promises to make Karl Malone famous tonight.

Hanging out with a loser like Page isn’t going to help Malone’s legacy and neither will Hogan turning the truck over on Malone’s back. Malone will end up shining Hollywood’s shoes because Karl couldn’t lace the black Jesus’ shoes on the basketball course. Tonight Hogan will take care of Malone by himself. Somehow this took seven minutes.

The truck is on the way, complete with a police escort. Also it’s apparently gone from full daylight to pitch black in about 20 minutes.

Hour #2 begins.

Sting/Lex Luger vs. Jim Neidhart/British Bulldog

Non-title match. Luger is teaming with Sting again, making me wonder why Nash was given the title in the first place. Neidhart and Luger get us going by trading shoulder blocks until Luger clotheslines him out to the floor. Back in and it’s off to Sting and Bulldog which pleases the fans quite a bit. Sting grabs a headlock and sends Bulldog to the floor for a breather.

Bulldog comes back in and wants to face his former Allied Powers teammate. They pose at each other until it’s off to Anvil for even more posing. Larry: “Is he flexing his beard?” Sting comes in and runs Neidhart around the ring before it’s back to Luger who is taken into the corner. Luger gets double teamed for a few seconds before coming back with a double clothesline to put both Neidhart and Luger down. Hot tag to Sting who cleans house and finishes Bulldog with the Death Drop.

Rating: D-. This was HORRIBLE with both teams taking as much time as they could doing as little as they could. Neidhart and Bulldog just weren’t working in WCW and I think everyone knew it. They really don’t have characters outside of being Bret’s relatives which doesn’t work when they’re not allowed to associate with him. It didn’t help that Bulldog was a shell of himself at this point and Anvil never was much of note without Bret.

More fans, same opinions.

Saturn vs. Reese

The monster pounds Saturn in the chest to start but Saturn superkicks Reese down to his knees. Reese grabs Saturn and gorilla presses him from one knee in an impressive power display. Some knees in the corner have Saturn in trouble but he kicks Reese in the knee and takes him down. A missile dropkick drops Reese before the Death Valley Driver is good for the pin. We can add Saturn to the list of guys that WCW amazingly managed to screw up.

The Flock immediately comes in and swarms Saturn. Raven says it’s time Saturn starts taking responsibility for his life. He talks about giving Saturn everything but Saturn never gave anything back. An Evenflow lays Saturn out just like it did Kanyon earlier.

We recap the NWO beating down Greene las tweek until Goldberg made the save.

The motorcade continues.

More Nitro Girls.

El Vampiro vs. Brad Armstrong

Vampiro looks much different without his facepaint. Feeling out process to start with Armstrong taking him into the corner but Vampiro lands on his feet off a monkey flip. A clothesline puts Vampiro down but he comes back with a nice spinning kick to the jaw. Vampiro scores again with a spinwheel kick to the face and the Nail in the Coffin (Michinoku Driver) for the pin. Just a squash even though Vampiro wouldn’t be back until next March.

Promo for the tag match at Bash at the Beach.

The NWO Late Night band is warming up. Oh this isn’t going to go well.

Tokyo Magnum/Shiima Nobunaga vs. Disco Inferno/Alex Wright

Nobunaga is more famous as Cima. Toyky starts dancing between Wright and Disco and takes his clothes off at the same time. Disco and Wright aren’t into the stripping stuff and pounds Tokyo out to the floor. Nobunaga starts with Alex and we get a rather nice wrestling sequence with Nobunaga taking over via a flying mare and a dropkick. Wright runs him over and tags in Disco who is sent chest first into the buckle and drokicked in the back.

Off to Magnum who walks into an atomic drop and it’s off to Wright for a spinwheel kick. Alex tries a slingshot splash but lands on knees to put him down. Back to Nobunaga for a springboard Swanton Bomb before it’s back to Tokyo to stomp away in the corner. Tokyo tries something out of the corner but slips down on the first try. A top rope hurricanrana brings Disco down but Wright comes in sans tag with a missile dropkick. Tokyo is knocked into the corner and it’s off to Nobunaga who gets caught by a neckbreaker from Alex for the pin.

Rating: C+. This was a much better match than I was expecting with Nobunaga shining better than anyone else. Tokyo, who is mostly remembered in WCW as a comedy jobber, looked much better than I was expecting out there. Wright and Disco weren’t bad either, making for a nice though short match.

Disco and Alex argue over which music should play post match.

Tenay interviews fans about the tag match. Guess who they pick to win.

Ultimo Dragon vs. Dean Malenko

Fast start with Dragon cranking on the arm and taking Dean down with a flying mare. Malenko jumps over a leg sweep and avoids a kick before both guys try dropkicks to give us a standoff. Dragon grabs the arm to take over before shifting over the knee instead. We get the headstand out of the corner but Dean catches him coming out of the corner in a nasty looking release German suplex.

The rapid fire kicks have Dean in trouble but he rolls out of the Dragon Sleeper. Dragon takes him into the corner for the top rope hurricanrana but gets caught in the super gutbuster instead. This brings out Jericho to say this is where Dean’s father is buried. Dean lets go of the Cloverleaf to chase Jericho to the back for a countout.

Rating: C. The match was good while it lasted but just like the Eddie match it wound up being about storytelling instead of the match. That’s fine a lot of the time, but at some point there has to be a payoff for Dean. Yeah he won the title at Slamboree but it was taken away just a few weeks later. That kind of cheapens the win and a boost for Dean wouldn’t hurt.

Hour #3 begins.

We get a clip from Thunder of Arn Anderson saying the Horsemen are over.

Chris Benoit/Steve McMichael vs. Harlem Heat

Benoit and Booker get us going which is the best idea for everyone. Stevie comes in before there’s any contact though and gets stomped down into the corner with ease. A clothesline out of the same corner takes Benoit down and it’s off to Booker who gets caught in a dragon screw leg whip. Tag brings in Mongo to pound on Booker with his generic power offense until he charges into a boot in the corner.

Back to Stevie for his own generic power offense as the crowd audibly dies. Booker comes back in for a spinebuster for two but Benoit has had enough. Everything breaks down without any tags and here’s Bret Hart with a chair to blast Booker in the back, giving Mongo (who didn’t see Bret) a pin.

Rating: D+. Simple explanation for this: Booker and Benoit good, Stevie and Mongo bad. That’s as basic as you can get here and the fans seemed to feel the same. I’m not even sure why Stevie doesn’t like Benoit in the first place. Is it just because Benoit offered to help Booker whenever he needed it? That’s why we’ve in the third week of feuding?

Dean catches up with Jericho in the locker room and pounds on him until Ultimo Dragon tries to break it up. Malenko beats on him for a bit, allowing Jericho to escape.

The longest motorcade route in history continues.

It’s time for the Eric Bischoff Show. This is going to suck isn’t it? Eric (Bandleader: “One heck of a real swell guy!”) and Liz come out to a talk show set that is nearly identical to the Tonight Show. The bandleader says this is like the Barney and the motorcycle episode of Andy Griffith or the first time there were transgender truck drivers beating each other up on Jerry Springer.

The bandleader goes on a long rant about hot sauce on barbecue pork rinds in a trailer. I think this is supposed to be funny but the speech made me lose focus. The guest tonight is Scott Steiner who says his usual promo before talking about the tag match. He runs down Malone for his Rogaine commercials and says calling Malone the Mailman is fraud since he never delivers. Steiner says he’s got a co-star in his Hollywood project and promises to have him here next week. This was so far beyond stupid that it needs to study to get to dumb.

Booker comes out and says that he doesn’t always agree with Stevie Ray but that’s another story for another time. This is the second time that Bret Hart has come out here and hit him in the back of the head with a chair and Booker wants to know why. Stevie comes out and wants to know why Booker is challenging Bret, even though he didn’t do that yet. Booker does challenge Hart and here’s Bret, who says if there’s a challenge, just go ahead and “ax” him. The challenge is accepted but Booker better not cry when he loses. The match is on for the PPV but Stevie wanted Booker to jump Bret right there.

Hogan and Bischoff want Malone and Page here now. Hollywood has an idea though.

More Nitro Girls with the hometown girl Whisper getting a rare solo.

US Title: Glacier vs. Goldberg

Buffer does the big intro for what might last two minutes. For some reason Heenan thinks Glacier’s music is Goldberg’s. The champ’s entrance takes over two and a half minutes. Page and Malone are officially pulling up to the arena. Actually scratch that as they’re still a few blocks away. Goldberg tries his leg lock but Glacier comes back with kicks to the face. The champion completely no sells them and hits a kind of powerbomb. The spear and Jackhammer retain the belt. Typical Goldberg here.

The announcers talk about the motorcade again.

Here are Hogan and Bischoff for the big closing segment. Hogan says he hoped to take care of this really quickly but Malone and Page are clearly scared. The motorcade is finally arriving with a few minutes to go in the show. Hogan keeps calling them losers but doesn’t seem to know they’re here. Hogan: “At Bash at the Beach, I don’t even want you to tune in.” Nice promotion there dude.

The rest of the Black and White are shown in the parking lot as Malone and Page arrive. Both guys come inside while Hogan and Bischoff talk trash. Page and Malone come in another door and bypass the NWO entirely, allowing them to sneak up on Hogan and Bischoff, chairs in hand. Hogan and Bischoff see them in the ring with Bischoff being thrown to the floor. Malone says bring it and we get an over minute long standoff. They lock up with Malone slamming Hogan down and clotheslining him a few times.

The rest of the NWO comes out with weapons in hand but Page has….a microphone. He says Hogan got slammed dunked, punk. Page gets all witty and calls Dennis Rodman Denise before challenging him for next week. Malone says size does matter at Bash at the Beach. I’d like to remind you that there are about five NWO guys with crowbars and chains just standing in the aisle while Page and Malone talk. They do the Diamond Cutter sign to end the show. I’ll give Malone this: he looked like he was having a blast out there.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a very different show but in a good way. First and foremost, while the basketball tag match was hyped a lot tonight, they toned it WAY down from last week. Last time they talked about the match every ten seconds or so, whereas this time was only every few minutes and for much shorter stretches of time. On top of that, there were some solid matches to go with the focus on storytelling. Tonight was mainly about building up the PPV and that’s something we had been needing for a good while. Nice show this week, even though things are going to be turned upside down soon.

 

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Survivor Series 2003
Date: November 16, 2003
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Attendance: 13,487
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz

Well as usual, a lot has changed around here since last time. Brock is a monster again, Goldberg is Raw Champion, Vince is back and fighting the Undertaker, and it’s Austin vs. Bischoff having surrogate teams fight for control of Raw. This is a big change of pace from last year and hopefully it’s a bit better as well. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about surviving. There’s an original concept.

Team Angle vs. Team Lesnar

Kurt Angle, Hardcore Holly, John Cena, Bradshaw, Chris Benoit

Brock Lesnar, Nathan Jones, Matt Morgan, Big Show, A-Train

Cena does a rap before the match about how big the other team is. This is one of Morgan’s few matches in WWE. From what I can find, he had 18 total matches, one of which was over a year after his previous one. Holly is here because Lesnar broke his neck and now Holly wants revenge. This would result in Hardcore Holly actually getting a world title match at the Rumble. Show is US Champion here.

Holly jumps Lesnar during his entrance and tries to put him into a full nelson, earning himself a DQ before the match ever starts. Back in the ring, Bradshaw and A-Train start things off with Bradshaw blocking a Vader Bomb and hitting the Clothesline for the elimination to tie us up. Bradshaw charges into a chokeslam from Show and is out 20 seconds later.

Cena comes in but can’t FU Show yet. Off to Brock but Cena takes his knee out. A quick rollup gets two and Cena does the same thing again. Off to Morgan who isn’t quite as polished as Lesnar. A side slam puts Cena down and it’s already off to Jones. Jones does some very basic choking and it’s back to Brock. Cena hits the Throwback on Brock and there’s the tag to Benoit (notice the pop).

Benoit pounds on Lesnar in the corner but it’s back to Big Show and there’s only so much Show can do with him. Show lifts Benoit into the air and drops him on his face while talking trash to Angle. The chokeslam is countered into the Crossface but Brock (who is Smackdown Champion here) makes the save. Show puts on an abdominal stretch of all things followed by the standing legdrop for two.

Angle gets a tag but the referee doesn’t see it. Back to Morgan for some skilled standing on Benoit’s throat. Benoit speeds things up and takes out Morgan’s knee before tagging in Angle. Kurt immediately rolls some Germans on Matt and everything breaks down. Angle Slam eliminates Morgan, the ankle lock eliminates Jones (who would quit in about two weeks and never be seen again) and the F5 takes out Kurt, all in the span of about 25 seconds.

This gets us down to Benoit and Cena vs. Lesnar and Big Show. Lesnar misses a charge in the corner and Benoit goes after the arm like a crazy man. Brock gets Benoit up for the F5 but Benoit counters into the Crossface. Show makes the save so Benoit puts it right back in, only to have Brock make the ropes. The third time though gets a rare tap from Brock as this match is flying by. That more or less makes Benoit the #1 contender.

It’s Benoit and Cena vs. Big Show now as the fans tell Lesnar that he tapped out. Benoit hits a top rope shoulder but can’t put on the Crossface. Cena gets a blind tag and there’s a chokeslam to Benoit. A chain to Show’s head and the FU are enough for the pin. Somehow Cena wouldn’t win the US Title from Show for almost six more months.

Rating: C. Not a great match here but to say it got the fans fired up is the understatement of the year. That FU at the end was the usual jaw dropping moment for Cena and while the rest of the match was pretty forgettable, the crowd is all ready to go now, which is the point of this kind of a match. Angle would turn heel and feud with Eddie soon into the new year.

Vince talks to Shane about how tonight it’s father and son against two brothers which is a somewhat cool idea, but the matches are both likely to suck so it’s hard to care. Shane says he feels sorry for Vince. Vince leaves and runs into Austin and they have a really awkward laugh before Austin stops and glares at Vince. This is one of those moments where it was supposed to be big but came off as weird instead.

Women’s Title: Lita vs. Molly Holly

Lita is somewhat recently back after breaking her neck on a TV show and is challenging here. The fans immediately start cheering for Lita and she hits a quick clothesline to take over. Some knees to Molly’s chest sets up a suplex and a nipup by Lita. We head to the floor where Lita is sent into the barricade back first, which gets two for the champ back inside. Off to a chinlock by Molly followed by a dragon sleeper which doesn’t last that long.

Molly sends her into the corner and hits the Muta handspring elbow in one of the only times you’ll hear his name mentioned on WWE TV. Lita kicks Molly away and backflips to the top for a cross body and a two count. A rollup gets the same but Molly sidewalk slams her down for two. Molly tries a rana out of the corner and gets powerbombed down, but the Litasault misses. The Molly Go Round (flipping seated senton) surprisingly only gets two so Molly goes to expose a buckle. After a save is made by Lita, the champ sends her face first into the exposed buckle for the pin.

Rating: D+. The match itself was ok, but man alive Molly wasn’t that interesting to watch. I get that she’s a very technically competent wrestler and could do almost anything pretty well in the ring, but she was a black hole of charisma. Molly was just there most of the time, which doesn’t make for interesting matches at all.

We recap Kane vs. Shane. Kane, being all psycho, tombstoned Linda on the stage one night. Shane stood up for his mama and beat on Kane as much as he could, but it basically turned into a monster movie as Shane did all sorts of things to Kane but Kane just kept coming. Shane got his testicles electrocuted in a semi-famous bit in retaliation. Somehow this set up an ambulance match, which is a casket match but with an ambulance. This is one of those feuds that went on and on for MONTHS, apparently ticking off guys in the back because Shane wasn’t a full time wrestler but he was getting big spots on the card.

Shane McMahon vs. Kane

Shane immediately knocks him to the floor but Kane sends him into the steps to take him down. Shane gets the steps on top of Kane and pounds him down with a chair. The announce table gets loaded up early and there’s a monitor to the side of Kane’s head. Shane hits the big elbow through the table and both guys are down less than two minutes in. Both guys get up and Shane makes Kane chase him (literally) through the crowd.

They head to the back and we lose the camera feed for a bit. Kane really is stalking Shane like in a slasher movie. Shane gets behind Kane somehow and blasts him with some kendo stick shots. Shane gets in an SUV and backs up into Kane, knocking him into a guard shake. McMahon grabs a walkie-talkie and says send it, so here’s an ambulance. Kane fights off the stretcher and throws Shane into a concrete wall before they head back to the arena.

Shane looks like he’s dead on his feet as Kane punches him. Kane throws him onto the hood of the ambulance, cracking Shane’s head open apparently. Shane sends him into the side of the ambulance and opens the doors, slamming one onto Kane’s head a few times. Kane fights his way out of the back of the ambulance before throwing Shane in, but only one door gets shut.

McMahon comes back with a kind of tornado DDT out of the ambulance and hits Kane with a trashcan. He then puts something big and black between Kane’s legs before climbing on top of the ambulance. Shane goes Coast to Coast off the top of the ambulance to drive a trashcan into Kane’s face while Kane was laying against the barricade. The big black thing apparently was a box to keep Shane from, you know, dying.

Kane is dead weight now and Shane can’t get him into the ambulance immediately. Kane pulls Shane inside with him before getting all fired (pun intended) up. He rams Shane into the ambulance over and over, tombstones him on the concrete and throws him into the ambulance to win.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t horrible but it went on too long. Thankfully this was the last time Shane was an active wrestler for a few years as he was only good for stuff like this in doses. Kane would go on to feud with, who else, the Undertaker in a few months. There were some good bumps here, but at the end of the day Shane isn’t a wrestler and that was becoming obvious near the end.

Brock says he didn’t lose tonight. Josh Matthews says he tapped out and Lesnar doesn’t want to hear it because he didn’t tap out. Lesnar says line up anybody in the world and he’ll beat them because he’s the WWE Champion. Oh hi Goldberg. Yep, they’re foreshadowing THAT match.

Here’s Coach to waste more time. He’s in a neckbrace due to a 3D on Monday. His doctors assure him that in a few days, he’ll be fine. Coach sees Mark Cuban, owner of the Dallas Mavericks, in the front row. Cuban agrees to a quick interview and says he’s looking forward to Austin beating Bischoff. Coach says that’s not happening so he asks Cuban if he prefers WWE or NBA referees. Cuban says they all suck (Cuban is well known in the NBA for being highly critical of referees) and here’s Bischoff to yell at Cuban a bit.

Eric asks Cuban to get in the ring and say whatever Cuban thinks to his face. Cuban gets in the ring and TOWERS over Bischoff, probably a good seven inches or so taller. Bischoff says that he can have security take Cuban out or he can do it himself. Mark shoves Eric down but Randy Orton slides in and RKO’s Cuban, who sells it as well as any celebrity I’ve ever seen. If I remember right, this was actually referenced SIX YEARS LATER when Cuban guest hosted Raw. This was a waste of about seven minutes.

Evolution is having a party in the back with a ton of women. HHH takes his shirt off to drive the girls crazy but Flair says not yet because HHH has to fight later. Orton comes in and panics, stops to flirt with the girls, and then says that he’ll kill the legend of Austin tonight.

Smackdown Tag Titles: Los Guerreros vs. Basham Brothers

The Brothers are Doug and Danny, have Shaniqua with them and are defending here. Los Guerreros take over to start as this is apparently about something the Bashams did on Smackdown. What that was isn’t important enough to explain, but apparently it happened. Chavo and I think Danny start things off with Chavo in control. It’s quickly off to Danny who stomps Danny down in the corner and follows up with the Three Amigos.

It’s back to Chavo with a low dropkick for two and it’s right back to Eddie. A Sin Cara-esque headscissors takes both Bashams down but the champs double team Latino Heat to take over. Shaniqua, a big old monster chick that won Tough Enough 2, runs over Eddie on the floor and Doug pounds away on him in the ring. A double slingshot suplex puts Eddie down for two and it’s off to a reverse chinlock by Danny. Eddie fights up and takes Danny down with a headscissors before tagging in Chavo.

Everything breaks down and another double flapjack puts Chavo down. Danny loads up something like a spinebuster off the middle rope but Eddie makes the save before Danny can jump. Eddie gets sent to the floor but Chavo dropkicks Doug down. Danny and Chavo clothesline each other down and the “twins” switch. Eddie takes Shaniqua down and Frog Splashes her. Let’s spank her too because she’s a dominatrix. Chavo hits a tornado DDT on Doug but kicks Eddie in the process. As Chavo checks on him, Danny rolls Chavo up to retain.

Rating: D+. I know the description sounded really dull, but there was nothing here at all. The guys in this match are pretty talented, but the tag division was so dead around this point. The Bashams just weren’t that interesting and there isn’t much else to say about it than that. That was a major problem back in 2003: a lot of the guys were just there and nothing of note, which is a shame as Danny is a legend in OVW but it never translated to WWE.

Los Guerreros glare at each other post match.

We recap Team Austin vs. Team Bischoff. They had been sharing power and tonight’s match is for full control. Austin is skeptical about trusting anyone and he’s fired if he touches anyone. From what I understand from the video, if Austin’s team wins, he can beat up anyone he wants.

Team Austin vs. Team Bischoff

Shawn Michaels, Rob Van Dam, Booker T, Dudley Boyz

Chris Jericho, Randy Orton, Christian, Scott Steiner, Mark Henry

The Dudleys are Raw tag champions and RVD is IC Champion. Team Bischoff hides on the floor and Austin yells at Jericho a bit. Christian and D-Von start things off with the Dudley pounding away. A flying clothesline gets two on Christian and here’s Van Dam who gets the same off a spinwheel kick. Off to Jericho who gets kicked in the face as well, followed by a northern lights suplex for two.

A dropkick puts Van Dam down and here’s Steiner for the same power stuff he’s done for about eight years running now. After making Steiner miss in the corner and hitting a cross body, Van Dam gets caught in an overhead belly to belly suplex. Van Dam goes up and gets crotched, allowing Scott to hit an overhead belly to belly for two. Off to Booker who gets clotheslined down and elbowed for tow.

Booker hits the forearm to take Steiner down and hits the ax kick but it’s a Spinarooni instead of a cover. Everything breaks down and Steiner hooks the Recliner on Booker. Stacy, Steiner’s reluctant manager, cheers for Booker. The distraction breaks the hold and the Dudleys hit the reverse 3D on Steiner and the Bookend gets the elimination. Henry comes in and immediately hits the World’s Strongest Slam to take Booker out and tie things up.

Van Dam comes back in and the kicks to Henry’s legs don’t do much good at all. Bubba gets a blind tag and pounds away on Henry but Mark runs him over. Bubba pounds away but brings in D-Von because it takes both Dudleyz to take Henry down. Henry misses a charge in the corner and walks into the 3D, allowing Van Dam to hit the Five Star. The dogpile pin is allowed and Henry is out.

It’s Jericho vs. Van Dam now with Rob sending Jericho into the corner for two. Off to Orton who clotheslines Van Dam down hard for two. RVD comes back with the springboard kick to the face but Jericho breaks up the Five Star, knocking Rob into the RKO for the elimination. Off to D-Von for a flapjack and a legdrop for two. A top rope headbutt gets two on Orton so it’s off to Jericho.

Chris’ missile dropkick puts D-Von down but Bubba breaks up the pin. Jericho is all cool with that though and hits the Flashback (sleeper drop) for the pin and elimination. It’s Bubba and Shawn vs. Jericho, Christian and Orton. Here’s Shawn for the first time and house is quickly cleaned, but that little dust bunny known as Chris Jericho takes him down. Off to Orton again who gets in a few shots before getting clotheslined.

There’s the not hot tag to Bubba who beats up all three Bischites. A flapjack puts Jericho down and a backdrop gets two on Christian. A Samoan Drop puts Orton down and we get heel miscommunication between the Canadians. Jericho breaks up the Bubba Bomb with a low blow and the Unprettier pins Bubba, making it 3-1. Shawn immediately comes in with a forearm to Christian and the nip up as things speed up.

Jericho low bridges Shawn and the double stomp is on outside. Off to Orton as the heels slow things down. Shawn and Christian slug it out but Shawn has to beat up Jericho as well. Christian slingshots Shawn into the post and Michaels is busted open. Back in and Christian suplexes Shawn down before doing the HBK pose. Shawn is covered in blood as Christian shoves him out of the corner….and charges right into Sweet Chin Music for the elimination. That was sweet!

Jericho is all ticked off now and pounds away on Shawn’s forehead but Michaels comes back with a chop in the corner. Shawn can’t follow up though and a clothesline puts him down for two. Shawn comes back with a DDT out of the corner for a delayed two as Orton saves. Shawn throws Orton out to the floor but Jericho’s Lionsault hits knees and Shawn FINALLY gets up. The superkick misses but Shawn rolls Jericho up to counter the Walls and somehow it’s down to Orton vs. Shawn. Jericho, ever the bad sport, clocks Shawn with a chair.

Orton, who is still down from being thrown to the floor somehow, is left against a dead Shawn. Randy crawls back in but can only get two. He goes up but the cross body takes out the referee instead. Shawn loads up the Superkick but Bischoff comes in and kicks him down. Austin finally snaps and beats up Eric before Stunning Orton. Steve goes after Bischoff and throws him up the aisle, but Batista runs in and powerbombs Shawn, giving Orton the academic pin to win the match and send Austin away for at least a good three weeks.

Rating: B. This took A LONG time to get going, but once Shawn was on his own and got to get the crowd behind him completely, it was all gravy. The important thing here was that Shawn basically beat Christian and Jericho through a pair of flukes and not because he Hulked Up or anything like that. He caught Christian charging at him and rolled Jericho up when Jericho’s arms were being used in a hold. Shawn made this match work, as the other members of his team were useless. The guy really is that awesome.

Austin is shocked and goes into the ring where Shawn isn’t moving at all. He helps Michaels up and Shawn says he’s sorry. Austin pulls Shawn up and they shake hands with no Stunner. They walk up the aisle together and leave but Austin’s music plays and he comes out one more time. He says that he started his career 14 years ago right here in Dallas. Austin says if it has to end, he’s glad that it’s ending where it started. He says that you won’t hear him say this much, but he loves the fans.

This brings out Coach to sing the goodbye song and have security take Austin out. Austin of course beats up the guards and Coach as this is going on too long. Austin Stuns Coach and beer is consumed. He leaves the two cans sitting in the ring and flips off the crowd for old times’ sake.

We recap Undertaker vs. Vince. Taker keeps trying to win the title but Vince screwed him over at No Mercy against Lesnar. Undertaker says that Vince has to be held accountable for his actions and on Smackdown, Taker won the right to have any match with anyone he picked. He said it was buried alive and Vince loved the idea of getting to see Lesnar bury Taker. Taker said not so fast my friend, because the match is against Vince.

Undertaker vs. Vince McMahon

Taz actually has keys to victory. First: be mentally stable. Second: be confident. Third: AVOID THE HOLE! Did Taz just make me laugh? I don’t know how to handle this. Oh good we have the bell so I don’t have to deal with it. Remember that in this you have to put the other guy in the grave and cover him with dirt to bury him alive. Apparently it’s thirteen years to the day since Taker debuted. Vince kneels in prayer before the match starts.

Taker punches him in the face, drawing blood off a SINGLE PUNCH. He pounds away on Vince as McMahon is just trying to get back up. Vince gets crotched against the post and Taker wraps the leg around the post for fun. The same thing happens on the opposite post and Vince is sent into the announce table. There is blood EVERYWHERE. Taker hits him and says this is for my wife. Yeah this was around the time when Vince said he was going to have someone rape Taker’s wife. You know, because there’s nothing wrong with that.

The beating continues for awhile and Vince hasn’t had a single bit of offense in yet. Vince gets punched up against the barricade and we head back inside. Taker heads to the grave site and gets a shovel which is CRACKED off Vince’s head. This is quite a beating. Taker crushes Vince’s ankle just like he did in 1998. There are PILES of blood on the floor. Taker carries him to the grave but Vince gets in a low blow to FINALLY slow Taker down.

Vince hits him with a shovel and taker falls into the grave. Taker shrugs it off and pulls McMahon down into the hole, but as he goes for the machine to lower the dirt, an explosion goes off. Kane is in the cab and helps Vince out of the grave. Taker is knocked into the grave and Vince lowers the dirt onto Taker to get the shocking win.

Rating: D. This was REALLY boring although that first shovel shot was great. Other than that though, there wasn’t enough here to make this match matter. This would be the last time Biker Taker was seen as he would return as the Dead Man at Wrestlemania to, say it with me, feud with Kane. The blood alone prevents this from being a failure.

We recap Goldberg vs. HHH. Goldie won the title at Unforgiven so HHH put a $100k bounty on his head. Batista returned from an injury and broke Goldberg’s ankle to claim the bounty. This is almost literally the same story that Race and Flair had to set up the first Starrcade, with the main difference being that Race was champion when he set up the bounty. This gets the music video treatment.

Raw World Title: Goldberg vs. HHH

Goldberg is defending and has a broken ankle. Doesn’t that mean Batista didn’t take him out/put him on the shelf? With Flair still in the ring, Goldie limps and punches at the same time. There’s a spear to HHH but there’s no count because the bell hasn’t rung yet. Flair gets backdropped and there’s the bell. HHH gets knocked to the floor and the champ is in full control. Goldberg drops him face first onto the barricade and we head back inside.

Goldberg tries to use power but the ankle gives out on him. A chop block takes Goldberg down and we head to the floor for a low blow. Flair sends the leg into the post and is DRENCHED in sweat already. Back in and things slow down even more as HHH does whatever he can as Flair chokes away even more. HHH stays on the knee and the sequence keeps going on and on and on. That was the problem with HHH matches: they were the same boring formula over and over and it never worked.

HHH puts on a half crab but Goldberg is in the ropes. The ankle gets bent around the post as this is getting even more boring. Goldberg comes out of the corner with a clothesline but a powerslam is too much for him here. Goldberg kicks HHH into the referee and Flair throws in some brass knuckles to knock Goldberg out cold. That only gets two and HHH is ANGRY, so he drops an elbow on the referee.

It’s sledgehammer time but HHH charges into a boot. Flair gets slammed off the top and Goldie has the hammer. He takes Flair out with it but as he goes for HHH, Batista and Orton run in, only to be knocked out with the hammer as well. The Pedigree is countered and Goldberg throws down the hammer. The spear and the Jackhammer retain the title.

Rating: D+. Well the match sucked, but you certainly can’t say HHH didn’t put Goldberg over huge here. This is where the good parts of the match end. As for the bad: Goldberg wouldn’t sell the leg once the big insane part started, the match sucked, and HHH won the title a month later at Armageddon in a three way match, with Goldberg moving on to feud with Lesnar after this. Not a good match here but that was typical of HHH around this time.

Overall Rating: D+. This is from a bad time in the company as HHH was still on top but there were other things that were far more interesting. For instance, the Austin thing DEFINITELY should have closed this show as Shawn is the only thing that was really good on the whole card. On top of that, the main problem here is that other than the Shawn match, there’s no heart to this show. It comes, it goes, nothing really feels like it matters. That would be the case until Cena and Batista rose up to breathe new life into the company.

Ratings Comparison

Team Angle vs. Team Lesnar

Original: B-

Redo: C

Molly Holly vs. Lita

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Kane vs. Shane McMahon

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Basham Brothers vs. Los Guerreros

Original: D

Redo: D+

Team Bischoff vs. Team Austin

Original: A-

Redo: B

Vince McMahon vs. Undertaker

Original: D

Redo: D

Goldberg vs. HHH

Original: D-

Redo: D+

Overall Rating

Original: C-

Redo: D+

This matches up pretty well: most of the matches were about the same but a few were lower this time, as was the overall rating.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/12/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-2003-austin-vs-bischoff/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume I at Amazon for just $4 at:

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Thunder
Date: June 18, 1998
Location: Corestates Spectrum, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone

This is a taped show, but I’ll put the over/under of times the announcers say it’s live at 17. We’re still in the middle of the NWO civil war with Randy Savage now out for a long time with a knee injury due to the Black and White’s attack on Nitro. We’re heading towards Bash at the Beach but it’s still too early to start making matches, meaning tonight is again a sequel of Nitro. Let’s get to it.

We open with Konnan and Luger heading to the ring with something to say. The mat is really dark again and it’s not working. Luger talks about how there are some guys that you can dress up a certain way and turn them into a star in wrestling. These would be people like Vincent, Brian Adams, and any other of Hogan’s goons. The problem is people like Hogan are stars because the fans made them a star, which brings up a Goldberg reference. You can see the seeds being planted.

The Wolfpack was formed while Hogan was making another movie and now he’s trying to break them apart, but the fans have decided that the Wolfpack is where the power lies. I think this was supposed to be Luger laying down the gauntlet, but I think we’ve covered that already.

Karl Malone has officially been signed and the tag match is on for Bash at the Beach. We’ll see press conference clips on Nitro.

Macho Man has a broken leg due to Bischoff’s kick and will be out indefinitely. We get a clip of the attack, including Nash raising the cage for the save.

Steve McMichael vs. Mike Enos

This is the kind of match where I want to know what they think is the target audience. I mean, what’s the production idea for this? Who thought these two guys needed to have a match? Enos pulls Mongo into the ring to start and pounds away on his right arm which kept Mongo out for months.

McMichael bails to the floor but Enos slams the arm into the barricade and steps to keep the pressure on. Mongo comes back in the ring with a shot to the head with the right arm and shows no sign of pain. Is it any wonder why he never worked? A three point shoulder puts Mike down but he blocks the tombstone. Enos slaps him in the face so McMichael Mongos Up and hits the tombstone for the pin.

Rating: D. When Mike Enos is the good part of your match, you know the match is in trouble. McMichael just didn’t get wrestling for the most part and was never anything good in the ring. You would think after all those years with Benoit, Flair and Anderson he would have picked up SOMETHING but it just never happened.

Post match Mongo gives the sign of the Horsemen.

Here’s the Flock with something to say. Raven calls Saturn a tumor that plagued the Flock but Raven has successfully removed it. Tonight, Reese is going to win the US Title. Back to Saturn, who was his friend when he was a kid? Who gave him money when he needed it? Who forced the Flock to join Saturn at ringside? The answer to all those is Raven, but now Saturn has let him down. All Saturn had to do was beat Kanyon but he couldn’t even do that, and then Saturn went after Raven, making him despise Saturn.

This brings out Saturn who says Raven let Saturn down, so now Saturn is on his own. The Flock jumps Saturn but he still gets in a good shot to Raven’s jaw. Raven heads to the floor but Kanyon comes in to send Raven back inside. Saturn and Kanyon clear the ring before staring each other down. No more violence occurs though.

Goldbeg video.

Fit Finlay vs. Brad Armstrong

Again, just why? The fans start booing this before any contact is even made. Finlay takes him down with a headlock and cranks on Candyman’s head for a bit before switching to the ever popular nerve hold. Armstrong fights up and hits a powerslam and belly to back suplex for two each before we hit the armbar.

Finlay fights up and yells at the fans before we hit a chinlock and another nerve hold. Riveting stuff here. A slam sets up a Vader Bomb for two on Brad but he counters a second into something resembling an electric chair drop. Not that it matters though as Armstrong goes up but dives into Finlay’s arms for the tombstone and the pin.

Rating: D-. These are talented guys but we have to sit through this boring mess for whatever reason. I’m assuming we’re supposed to buy Finlay as a contender for the TV Title still but beating Brad Armstrong doesn’t really prove much. Nothing to see here, which I think is the subtitle for Thunder.

This week in WCW Motorsports is still a thing for some reason.

Giant vs. Disco Inferno

Disco goes up to the announcers’ booth to dance a bit before the match. Heenan: “Hand me that iron pipe over there.” Giant lights up another cigarette on the way to the ring so Disco lectures him on healthy habits. The instructions continue until a HARD clothesline puts Disco down. A massive chokeslam ends Disco a few seconds later with the cigarette still in Giant’s mouth.

Dean Malenko says he’ll do whatever it takes to get the Cruiserweight Title off of Jericho and onto the waist of someone who deserves it.

IWGP Tag Titles: Tenzan/Masahiro Chono vs. British Bulldog/Jim Neidhart

The champions jump the brothers in law to start and throw Neidhart out to the floor. Smith gets double teamed but comes back with a nice double clothesline to put the champions down. Things settle down with Chono going after Neidhart’s knee to get us going. Some hard kicks to the knee and a quick leg lock take the Anvil down and it’s off to Tenzan for some solid right hands to the head. So much for the technical stuff.

Chono comes back in and goes after Davey, allowing the champions to double team Neidhart a bit. Jim comes back with a hard forearm to Chono and makes the hot tag to bulldog. House is cleaned and the powerslam puts Tenzan down, but Chono hits Davey with the belt for the DQ.

Rating: D+. Somehow this quick, nothing match is probably the best thing we’ve seen so far tonight. The titles being on the line made this a bit better than Monday’s match, but it doesn’t make the fans care about the Japanese guys at all. Granted no one cared about Neidhart and Bulldog at this point either, so it’s not Chono and Tenzan’s fault.

Jim and Davey clear out the NWO guys.

Rick Rude says Goldberg better be ready for Hennig at the PPV. Hennig is up in Minnesota training hard with Brad Rheingans to take the title. Nothing special from Rude, but a Goldberg chant starts up and stops almost immediately in a bad production error.

Konnan vs. Alex Wright

Wright jumps Konnan and whips him with a leather jacket. A top rope knee drop gets no cover and Alex drops some elbows to the back. There’s a backbreaker and Wright still won’t cover. Instead his slingshot splash hits knees and Konnan clotheslines him down again. There’s the basement dropkick but here’s Rude for a distraction. He talks about hunting for a bit which allows Alex to jump Konnan from behind and get a rollup for two. Konnan comes back with an X Factor and a rollup similar to Kofi Kingston’s SOS for the pin.

Rating: D+. Well Rude certainly wasted his time here. This match was nothing special either but at least Wright moved around pretty well. It’s the same problem every match on this show has had though: there’s no heat to any of the matches and as a result the matches feel like nothing we need to see at all.

Video on Hogan and Rodman.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Chris Benoit

This has to be good right? Eddie is depressed after losing to Chavo on Sunday. Benoit stomps him down in the corner to start and gets a quick two off a snap suplex. Eddie whips him across the ring and scores with a dropkick to the back of the head before suplexing Benoit down for two. Nice and crisp so far. A headscissors off the ropes gets two for Eddie and he goes after the Canadian’s knee to keep him down. Benoit will have none of that though and hits a pair of rolling Germans but the Swan Dive only hits canvas. Eddie’s frog splash hits the same, allowing Benoit to snap on the Crossface for the tap out.

Rating: C. Of course this didn’t even get four minutes. Why should it when we needed to see that rising star in MIKE ENOS??? This was by far the best thing on the show so far because the guys were actually working, but what can you do with just three and a half minutes out there?

Post match Chavo comes out and says Eddie is still his favorite wrestler, sending Eddie walking away in disgust.

Public Enemy vs. Riggs/Sick Boy

This is a Philadelphia street fight to appease the ECW fans. Public Enemy brings two tables (stacked on top of each other) and a wheelbarrow full of plunder. The Flock members jump Public Enemy from behind and the weapon shots begin. A cup of some liquid goes upside Rocco’s head as he and Sick Boy bail to the floor. Rock is wheelbarrowed into the crowd as the ECW chant begins. I’m shocked it took this long.

Back inside Grunge wraps a toilet seat around Riggs’ head before blasting him in the head with a trashcan lid. Everyone is back inside now and the fans start a Let’s Go Flyers chant. Rocco is lifted up and dropped onto a trashcan for two as Grunge takes the toilet seat off Riggs’ neck to blast him in the head. Riggs gets rolled into the barricade and Sick Boy takes a plunger to the face. Grunge has a trashcan dropkicked into his chest but he blasts Sick Boy in the head with the can to take him down. Sick Boy is laid out on the top table so Rocco can be flipped onto him, through both tables. The pin back inside is academic.

Rating: C+. The match was your usual ECW style junk, but at the same time this is the only match all night that was actually fun. Public Enemy was definitely a niche act but they played their roles perfectly. Also, the more I see of Sick Boy the more I like him. It’s a shame he never got more of a chance.

US Title: Goldberg vs. Reese

We hear about Goldberg fighting in the Georgia Dome on July 6. Indeed he would. Even the Philly fans go nuts for Goldberg, with Hogan saying only Hogan has ever gotten these reactions. Reese jumps Goldberg to start and Horace adds a shot with a stop sign. That earns him a forearm to the face, knocking him off the apron and nearly knocking the sign into the crowd. A suplex by Reese is no sold and it’s the spear into the Jackhammer to make him 101-0.

End of show. Seriously.

Overall Rating: D. This is one of those shows that just does not need to exist. Nothing happened tonight and none of the matches were anything that needed to be seen at all. This is the worst kind of show you can have: it wasn’t even bad but rather very dull. There’s almost no effort here and it shows very, very badly. Horrid show that didn’t need to air at all.

 

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Great American Bash 1998
Date: June 14, 1998
Location: Baltimore Arena, Baltimore, Maryland
Attendance: 12,810
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan

We’re at the big summer PPV which originally gave us everything between the first War Games and the worst major PPV of all time, so it’s hard to say what to expect here. There’s a double main event with Sting vs. Giant for control of both tag titles and an actual tag match of Hart/Hogan vs. Piper/Savage with Piper and Savage agreeing to fight each other after it’s over. Hopefully the lower part of the card can save the top guys again. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is a seizure inducing series of videos of the people in almost all the matches with various patriotic symbols in between.

The announcers talk about the main events a bit.

Gene talks about the Giant vs. Sting tag title match. Apparently Giant will pick Disciple if he wins both belts. That’s quite the team.

Now the announcers preview match #7 (really 8^th) match in the Booker vs. Benoit series. We get a video of the original seventh match from Thunder where Bret Hart tried to give Benoit the match but Chris didn’t want to win it that way. Booker agreed to another match tonight, winner take all.

Booker T vs. Chris Benoit

The winner gets a TV Title shot tonight against Finlay. Feeling out process to start with Benoit hooking a very quick armdrag to take over. Booker might have a bad knee coming in after the match on Thursday but he comes right back with an armdrag of his own. Benoit bails to the floor and it’s right back to a standoff a few seconds later. Booker grabs a hammerlock to take Chris down before hooking a half nelson into a rollup for two. Benoit fights up and cranks on a hammerlock of his own, only to be elbowed in the face.

Benoit is sent into the corner and peppered with more forearms before charging into a boot to the jaw. Chris will have none of that and takes out the bad knee with a dragon screw legwhip to get his first real advantage. They head to the corner for some WOO inspiring chops from the Canadian before he elbows Booker in the face for two. We hit a chinlock on Mr. T. as Tony compares Booker vs. Benoit seven times to Finlay fighting guys like High Voltage. There’s a snap suplex for two on Booker as things slow down a bit.

Benoit’s belly to back superplex is countered into a cross body for two but Benoit comes right back by stomping Booker down and putting on another chinlock. Booker fights up again but a hard knee to the stomach puts him right back down. Benoit drapes Booker’s ribs across the top rope for two but doesn’t seem sure how to follow up. Back to the chinlock as the fans immediately start cheering for Booker again. Off to a surfboard hold with Benoit’s knees in the back but Booker fights up and scores with a powerslam.

T goes up but Benoit steps to the side to avoid a spinning cross body ala Samoa Joe in a nice counter. A Crossface attempt lands right in the ropes so Benoit goes right back to the chinlock. Booker elbows up and hits an enziguri to put Benoit back down. There’s the snap spinebuster followed by a flapjack, allowing Booker to spin up. The missile dropkick is broken up with Booker getting crotched on the top, allowing Chris to superplex Booker down in a great looking crash.

Neither guy can immediately follow up though until Benoit gets a very delayed cover for two. Here are the rolling Germans but Booker breaks it up before the third. Instead Benoit busts out the dragon suplex for a very near fall. Booker is sent into the corner and tries the spinning sunset flip but Benoit is still in the middle of the ring in a nice bit of psychology. Benoit suplexes him down again and hits the Swan Dive but still can’t cover. Booker comes back with a side kick to the back of the head, setting up the missile dropkick for the 100% clean pin.

Rating: B. This would have been better with a minute or two cut out to lower the chinlockery levels, but even with them this was a great opening match and a perfect way to fire up the crowd. It’s one of those matches where both guys come out looking great though I would have liked to see Booker win more. Still though, very few complaints here.

Chavo is on the internet and says he needs the punishment that Eddie will give him tonight.

Saturn vs. Kanyon

I believe this is Kanyon’s first match under that name. Someone comes out in the Mortis gear but the real Kanyon sneaks in behind Saturn and gets two off a rollup. A neckbreaker gets the same as Kanyon starts fast. Saturn gets stomped down in the corner as Kanyon still has his vest on. An electric chair into a faceplant gets two but Kanyon has to deck Kidman off the apron. There’s a clothesline to put Saturn on the floor as this is all Kanyon so far. Saturn trips him up though and scores with a slingshot splash for no cover.

Kanyon gets back up and hits a kind of Fameasser out of the corner as Lodi, Riggs and Horace are all on the floor. Saturn kicks him to the floor for a triple team from the Flock, followed by a BIG dive over the top to put everyone down. Nick Patrick throws the Flock out and Kanyon is whipped into the barricade (called the post by Tony) to injure his ribs. Back in and Saturn kicks away at the head and puts on an ankle lock. Off to something resembling Cattle Mutilation but Kanyon gets his feet in the ropes.

Kanyon is crotched on the ropes and a springboard clothesline from Saturn puts both guys on the floor. Saturn throws a chair into the ring as apparently this is Raven’s Rules. Perry uses the chair as a springboard for a dropkick in the corner and a Sabu Triple Jump Moonsault gets two. Saturn tries a sunset flip but gets caught in midair with a northern lights suplex for a close two. Saturn comes right back with a swinging neckbreaker for two of his own and we hit the chinlock.

They get back up with Saturn getting suplexed down and then dropped throat first across the top rope. A jumping back elbow to the jaw puts Saturn down and a fireman’s carry flapjack gets another near fall. Kanyon’s downward spiral is countered into a half nelson suplex from Saturn but the Death Valley Driver is escaped as well.

Saturn kicks Kanyon in the face but he loads up a superplex instead of covering. Kanyon fights back and both guys get crotched before falling out to the floor. Cue the guy who played Mortis earlier….and another guy in a Mortis mask as well. The Mortises (Mortisi?) slug it out and brawl to the floor as Kanyon hits a quick downward spiral for the pin.

Rating: B. Take two guys who can do a ton of moves in the ring and let them beat the tar out of each other for fifteen minutes. The pair of masked guys near the end had me worried but thankfully they didn’t do anything but throw Saturn back inside. Kanyon had a ton of potential as the guy just showing off every night but like everything else in WCW, that wouldn’t get very far.

One of the Mortises holds up Kanyon’s arm but pulls him into a DDT. That one is Raven but we don’t get to see who is under the other hood. Raven says Saturn had one job but couldn’t even do that right so here’s the Flock for the big beatdown. Saturn will have none of that though and fights them off, including a suplex for Raven.

To recap so far, we’re about 45 minutes into this show and two of the matches have been GREAT. You’ve had Benoit, Booker, Saturn and Kanyon tearing the house down and firing the crowd up over a match for a shot at the lower card title and a story that makes little sense. These guys are tearing the house down, but how long would it be before any of them got anywhere? Nearly two years, with Booker and Benoit becoming world champions because the original choices for champion were unavailable. It’s amazing what politics and idiocy can do to a company.

We recap Malenko vs. Jericho since Slamboree. Basically Jericho has been demanding the title back because Malenko wasn’t announced as an entrant in the battle royal and saying Dean was letting his dead dad down. Malenko agreed to give up the title for a shot against Jericho. Chris freaked out because he wanted to be handed the title instead of having a match for it.

Cruiserweight Title: Dean Malenko vs. Chris Jericho

The title is vacant coming in. They stare each other down before charging into a double clothesline. Jericho pops back up and hits another clothesline to take over but Dean comes right back with a German suplex. Malenko stomps Jericho down in the corner as Chris screams like a coward. Jericho gets up a boot to stop a charging Malenko before putting on a headlock. Malenko rolls out of a quick Liontamer attempt and gets two off a suplex. Dean puts a knee in Jericho’s back and pulls on his arms to give us more screaming.

Dean whips him into the corner for a Flair Flip, but Jericho takes it two steps further by hitting his head on the post and getting caught in the Tree of Woe. Jericho falls out to the floor but slides back in to hit a pescado to the floor to take over. Back in and a suplex gets two for the blonde before it’s off to a sleeper. Dean fights out but gets suplexed back down for another two.

Jericho is getting frustrated at not being able to finish Malenko so he chokes Dean on the top rope. A slam sets up the Lionsault but Malenko rolls away to get a breather. Malenko comes back with a leg lariat and a rolling cradle for two. A middle rope facejam out of the corner gets another close two and Dean puts Jericho on the top. Jericho is able to fight out of the super gutbuster and hook a top rope hurricanrana. A very quick cover gets two for Chris but his powerbomb is blocked by right hands.

Jericho rolls through the cover into a regular Boston crab but Malenko quickly makes the ropes. Dean tries to jump over Jericho in the corner but gets caught in an Alabama Slam. Jericho still can’t hook the Liontamer so Dean grabs the Cloverleaf. Chris gets to the ropes even faster than Dean did and grabs a quick butterfly backbreaker. Jericho slaps him in the face and says Dean is nothing, just like his dead father. That’s enough for Dean and the brawl goes to the floor where Malenko cracks Jericho with a chair for a DQ.

Rating: B-. Logical but frustrating ending aside, this is the third straight good match of the night. Malenko snapping is a great thing to see and Jericho being forced to shut up and wrestle is always worth a look. This feud has been really solid and Jericho using his brain to take away Malenko’s calm was really smart.

Dean isn’t done and takes Jericho to the back, ramming him into various things along the way. They go outside the arena with Jericho being rammed into a mailbox. They get too near the traffic and security steps in, so Jericho sprints across the street and into another building. Jericho is announced as the winner via DQ.

Eddie begs Chavo for forgiveness and for Grandma to get him out of this.

Juventud Guerrera’s music starts but stops after a second so the announcers can talk about Jericho having a claim to the Cruiserweight Title.

Video on Juventud Guerrera who won’t give up. By this I mean him walking around ancient ruins in Mexico.

Juventud Guerrera vs. Reese

Standard giant bully vs. scrappy little guy story coming into this. Guerrera prays before the match starts and we get a LONG staredown. Juvy tries a right hand but is easily sent backwards into the corner. He charges right back and scores with some shots to the face but Reese shoves him right back down. Guerrera bails to the floor and gets Reese to chase him, only to slide back in and try a dive. Reese pulls him out of the air and tosses Juvy back inside but the small man kicks at the knee as Reese gets back in.

Reese grabs Juvy by the head and holds him back to show just how much bigger he is than Guerrera. Juvy goes up and tries a choke before ripping at his face. Reese goes down to one knee where he still comes up to Guerrera’s shoulders. The big man finally just drops back to crush Juvy and the beating begins. There’s a backbreaker with Juvy being bent over Reese’s knee like a toy.

A HUGE beal sends Guerrera across the ring and Reese stands on his hair and pulls on Juvy’s arms. There’s the bearhug with Reese shaking Juvy around like he’s made of paper. Reese lets him go so Juvy kicks him low a few times, which is legal since Reese is in the Flock ala Saturn earlier. In a smart move, Reese drops down to a knee to punch Juvy in the face.

A vertical suplex puts Juvy down but he climbs up the referee to beat the ten count. Now Reese gets a chair but referee Charles Robinson pulls it away. Juvy goes up top for a hurricanrana but gets caught in midair. Lodi has the referee for no apparent reason and Van Hammer pops up to blast Reese with the chair, allowing Juvy to flip him over (even more awkwardly than you would imagine) and get a pin with Reese’s shoulders only about four inches off the mat.

Rating: C+. They were THIS close to hitting this out of the park but the ending didn’t quite work. The hurricanrana looking terrible and the pin being a disaster brings this down but that’s about its only problem. They had the crowd right where they wanted them and could have blown the roof off if the underdog won like he should have. Hammer coming in was fine as if Juvy overcomes too much it becomes comical which is the wrong idea. This was a tightrope to walk and they almost pulled it off.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.

This is the match I’ve wanted to see more than any other after seeing the buildup. Eddie tried to turn Chavo into an Eddie clone and kept tormenting Chavo when he couldn’t get it right. Chavo finally snapped and completely turned the tables on Eddie, sending his uncle running scared. Chavo is all ticked off to start and slaps Eddie in the corner, causing the uncle to pound him in the face. Eddie takes him down with a trip but Chavo gets on top and pounds away with right hands.

Back up and Chavo rushes at Eddie but gets dropped face first on the top turnbuckle. Eddie misses a charge into the post though and Chavo rams him into all three buckles in a corner a total of about 15 times. Chavo drags him around the ring by the hair and dropkicks him down, sending Eddie out to the floor. He tries to walk out but Chavo is still ticked off. They head back in where Eddie kicks the rope into Chavo to take over.

Back in and Eddie works on the arm for a bit before sending Chavo to the apron. The nephew goes up top and tries a flip attack but lands on his feet, only to run across the ring and go up top for a moonsault press, good for two. Eddie sends him right back into the corner and out to the floor as this has been very physical for the first six minutes or so. Back inside and a brainbuster puts Chavo down, but Eddie slaps him in the face to make Chavo snap again. Chavo chases Eddie around the ring until Eddie gets back inside and hides behind the referee.

The distraction lets Eddie get in a shot to the knee and Chavo stops cold. A dropkick to the knee sends Chavo down in a heap so Eddie puts on a figure four. Eddie yells at the fans and lets the hold go before putting on the Gory Special. Again Eddie lets go of the hold and kicks Chavo in the face to set up a camel clutch. The fans chant for Goldberg so Eddie lets go of the hold to act as a conductor. There’s an over the shoulder backbreaker but Eddie spins him around and drops Chavo down to the mat for no cover.

Chavo blocks a slam and LAUNCHES Eddie over the top in a backdrop. A big running dive completely misses Eddie as Chavo jumps too high but it looked great. Now the fans want Flair because a good match with a good story isn’t good enough for them anymore. Back in and a bulldog gets two for the nephew but he takes WAY too long setting up a frog splash, allowing Eddie to shake the ropes to bring him down. Eddie’s frog splash misses though but he still blocks a tornado DDT. Chavo is sent to the floor so he springboards back in for a tornado DDT and the stunning upset pin.

Rating: B. I can’t believe I’m saying this but this has been an AWESOME show so far with good match after good match. This was the perfect blowoff to the story with Chavo showing he was learning the entire time, but not in the way Eddie was hoping for. He’s gone from a generic cruiserweight to an interesting character who just pinned a former US Champion clean. Good stuff here, as has been the case all night.

We get the Piper vs. Savage confrontation from Nitro to remind us that the last hour and forty five minutes of awesome are going to be brought down into the abyss very soon. Given that there are five matches left and about an hour to go, things are about to get very screwy in a hurry.

TV Title: Booker T vs. Fit Finlay

Booker doesn’t have any elbow pads or gloves on here which is a weird look for him. There’s an undefined extended time limit over the usual ten minutes here. Booker sends him into the buckle to start followed by an awkward looking clothesline. A kick to the face gets two for Booker but he misses an enziguri, allowing Finlay to hook a leg lock. Back up and Finlay forearms his way out of a headlock, only to have Booker come back with a flying forearm for two.

Some chops put Finlay on the floor but he comes back in to block an ax kick and go after the leg again. There’s a half crab followed by a regular crank on the leg to keep Booker in trouble. Finlay slams the knee onto the apron and wraps it around the ropes for good measure. Booker comes back with the spinning sunset flip out of the corner for two, only to have the champion come back with another leg crank. He wraps Booker’s knee around his neck ala the Brock Lock before going off to a kind of half Liontamer.

Booker rolls away and just pounds Fit in the head with right hands, only to have Finlay come right back with a shin breaker and another leg hold. They head outside again where the referee has to stop Finlay from getting a chair. The knee is wrapped around the post and Finlay hits a Vader Bomb for no cover. Instead he yells at the crowd and kicks Booker’s knee even more but stops to yell at the fans.

Booker comes back with a spinwheel kick and a powerslam before hitting the ax kick. He spins up so Finlay clotheslines him inside out. The tombstone from Finlay is countered into an AWFUL looking sequence where Booker was supposed to backflip into a tombstone of his own, but instead he fell down and got covered for two. Back up and Finlay misses a charge into the “post”, allowing Booker to hit a kneeling piledriver (Finlay was facing forward but Booker dropped to his knees like a tombstone) for the pin and the title.

Rating: D+. And there goes the really good match streak. The match wasn’t horrible but you can only watch Finlay lay on Booker’s leg and pull on the ankle so many times in thirteen minutes. The ending was HORRIBLE too with the sequence being botched and the ending coming out of nowhere. Also Booker not selling the knee at all after coming in with a bad knee and having Finlay work on it for ten minutes was inexcusable. I think everyone knew Booker would win here after taking the series, which made him look like a star.

US Title: Konnan vs. Goldberg

Hennig and Rude are with Goldberg’s dinner tonight. Goldberg is now from Parts Unknown instead of Atlanta. To say the place has gone nuts is an understatement. Konnan is easily shoved to the floor and wants to know what that was. Back in and Goldberg grabs a headlock followed by a botched roll thru into a legbar. Konnan grabs a rope and gets two feet up in the corner to stop a charge. Not that it matters as the spear and Jackhammer make Goldberg 100-0.

Post match Hennig and Rude turn on Goldberg and join the Black and White. That’s the best move as neither of the fit with the Wolfpack at all. Luger and Nash come out for the save.

I’m going to pause for a minute here and recommend that you go do something else. So far this has been an excellent show with logical booking, good matches and hard work from almost everyone involved. No more good can come from the remaining parts of this show. You would be better off being stuffed inside a bag and beaten with large wooden clubs. I might recommend going to a blind dentist with Parkinson’s Disease for a root canal. Or better yet just go watch the first two hours of this show again. Don’t say I didn’t warn you if you keep going.

Roddy Piper/Randy Savage vs. Hollywood Hogan/Bret Hart

This is the real main event though we’ve been promised Savage vs. Piper post match as a “bonus”. Savage is Wolfpack, Hogan is Black and White, Hart is technically NWO but never made it official and Piper is one of the last heroes remaining in WCW. He might be the only one in the main event picture actually. Sign in the crowd: Savage/Piper vs. Hart/Hogan: WELCOME TO JURASSIC PARK!

To the shock of no one, it’s a stall fest to start. It’s Hogan vs. Piper to get us going but Roddy spits at Bret. Hogan backs into the corner so Piper calls time out before jumping him for our first contact about two minutes in. Hogan gets poked in the eyes and has his bandana taken off to reveal a bald head. Off to Savage who rams Hogan face first into the buckle before it’s back to Piper for some biting and right hands.

Disciple hits Piper in the back with the world title to give Hogan control. Yeah remember the guy that has been beaten up like he’s in a Three Stooges short is world champion. Bret gets the tag and hits a few forearms before bringing Hogan back in for right hands. Piper staggers around and won’t go down so Bret cheats a bit to get him on the mat. Bret comes back in for a Russian legsweep and the middle rope elbow for two.

Hogan chokes Piper from the apron but Piper comes back with one of the worst small packages ever. He flails his arms and tags Savage which doesn’t count for no apparent reason so Hart puts on a front facelock. Piper makes another tag which doesn’t count due to Patrick not seeing it, allowing for another double team. Savage comes over with a chair and puts it on Piper’s chest so Bret’s headbutt hits steel.

The hot tag brings in Savage and the pop from the fans pales in comparison to pretty much any given pop of the night so far. Hart and Hogan stop Savage pretty easily, only to have Hogan deck Hart by mistake. Everything breaks down and Savage goes up for the elbow, only to have his knee give out. Hogan and Piper head outside where Hogan wraps Savage’s leg around the post. The Sharpshooter goes on and Savage is done.

Rating: F. I would pay big money to be in the production meetings to hear Hogan and Bischoff explain why Hollywood should be pushed so hard. These matches aren’t even acceptable or decent. They’re absolutely horrid with no redeeming value whatsoever and making the entire promotion look like a joke. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but Hogan is coming off like the Honky Tonk Man. He wrestles glorified comedy matches, gets destroyed for good chunks of them and then survives through some sort of shenanigan. I knew these matches were bad but I didn’t realize how horrible they really were.

Since that wasn’t enough though, IT’S A RODDY PIPER DOUBLE FEATURE!

Roddy Piper vs. Randy Savage

Bret still has Savage in the Sharpshooter when the bell rings so Randy is pretty much done already. Wait or was that the closing bell for the opening match? Gene comes in to talk to Piper but he helps Savage up instead, only to have Macho punch Piper. Savage chokes him down and actually hits the elbow but Piper, superhuman that he is, gets to kick out at two. The referee gets punched out so Piper hits Savage low and pokes him in the eyes. A figure four makes Savage quit for the second time in five minutes with his finisher only getting two in between. That’ll teach him for getting cheered.

Tag Titles: Sting vs. Giant

So if you haven’t been following the Nitro and Thunder reviews leading up to this, you’re a schnook. Go read them now. Anyway, Sting and Giant won the belts when Giant joined the Black and White. Sting turned down an offer to do the same and is in the Red and Black, but the titles were held up because Giant tried to replace him with Brian Adams, leading to this match. The winner gets to pick his new partner to be the tag champions.

Giant smokes a cigarette on the way to the ring to get the fans to boo him. He blows smoke in Sting’s face in the corner but misses a charge into the corner, allowing Sting to fire off kicks to the ribs. The Stinger Splash lands on a boot though and Giant sends him to the floor. Back in and Sting’s cross body just bounces off of Giant so he lifts Sting up into a gorilla press, LAUNCHING him face first into the buckle. That looked awesome.

We hit the bearhug for a good while as we’re almost out of PPV time. Sting bites his way out of the hold and dropkicks the knee out. A Stinger Splash to the back and one to the front have Giant in trouble and there’s a slam for good measure. The Deathlock goes on but Giant easily powers out of it. Instead a Death Drop gets two and Sting blocks a chokeslam. Another Death Drop gets another two but a Death Drop from the middle rope is enough for the pin and the titles.

Rating: D+. It wasn’t a masterpiece but this was better than most recent Nitro main events. This felt like a dark match to send the fans home happy and there’s really nothing wrong with that. It ends the stupid titles in two camps story and lets Sting pick a partner later on. In a word, this was acceptable.

Overall Rating: B. If you cut out the tag match and put in ANYTHING else, this is one of the best PPVs WCW ever put on. Everything ranges between very solid to acceptable at worst and most of the booking makes perfect sense. That tag match really hurts it though because it’s just so horrid.

If I were booking this show, I would have thought about putting Goldberg on last. It’s a B-level show and the last match was just less than seven minutes long and for the tag belts. Make Goldberg vs. Konnan a five minute match for the US Title and do the Hennig/Rude turn the next night on Nitro. On top of that it was to make him 100-0. That would send them home happy. Shockingly good show here though, embarrassing real main event aside.

 

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Halloween Havoc 2000
Date: October 29, 2000
Location: MGM Grand Garden Arena, Las Vegas, Nevada
Attendance: 7,582
Commentators: Stevie Ray, Tony Schiavone, Mark Madden

We’re in the dying days of the company here as with so few shows to go there’s really no reason for me to not finish these off. Goldberg is face again after that disaster of a heel turn for him. It’s more or less a double main event tonight with him vs. Kronik. The idea is that he has to break his original winning streak to get a title shot or he retires. The other match is Booker vs. Steiner for the title. Yeah not much has changed. Let’s get to it.

Wow that announce team scares me to death. For some reason Stevie got a big push late in WCW’s run and became a commentator. No one is really sure why.

Pamela (GORGEOUS) asks some fans if Goldberg wins or loses. They’re split.

Standard IT’S HALLOWEEN promo starts us off. Sting vs. Jarrett is a big match too apparently. Oh it’s that show isn’t it. This show has one of the dumbest matches I’ve ever seen so we need to get into this before I stab myself over that.

Tony says this is in fact SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT. I give up.

Tag Titles: Boogie Knights vs. Rey Mysterio/Billy Kidman vs. Natural Born Thrillers

Boogie Knights are Disco and Alex Wright and the Thrillers are Mark Jindrak and Sean and Mark O’Haire and have the belts here. There was some weird deal where the Knights won the belts but Mike Sanders decided the title change didn’t count and gave them the belts back. There are advertisements at every corner of the ring. WCW’s latest horrible video game (no wrestling in the ring, just in the back) is the sponsor. Nice to see how well the sponsorship deals are going isn’t it?

Wright, Kidman and Jindrak start us off. That’s what I always liked about WCW triple threats: they had triple threats instead of three team tag matches. Alex allegedly has the most experience. Not quite but in WCW he did I guess. Bronco Buster misses and here’s Disco. I forgot Konnan was there until he said something about Shane Douglas. It’s a big WZ Preunion here.

Everyone keeps working to beat up the Thrillers. In a nice move, Disco sets up Sean to allow Kidman to come off with the Shooting Star but instead he jumps at Disco with a back elbow in a thinking move. Wright gets a lot of praise here which is weird. You could tell he was one of those guys that they wanted to do something with but they never quite could do it.

We get a Tower of Doom spot as I’m getting into this triple threat tag match formula. Rey, Sean and Disco come in. Sean has a dime dropped on him and Disco takes a modified seated senton for two each. Sean’s knee may be hurt. The Thrillers use one of their signature awesome spots where they pick up Rey for what looks like a double hip toss and throw him from the floor over the top rope and into the ring. That was awesome looking.

They do the same to Kidman but Wright catches him in mid air in a belly to belly for two. This is getting awesome fast. Big plancha by Alex to take out Disco and Jindrak. Let the cruiserweights loose as the big dives begin. Kid Crusher on Wright (Unprettier/Killswitch) gets two. Top rope rana by Rey to Disco is followed by a Bronco Buster.

Last Dance (Stunner) by Disco gets two as Rey drops a dime on Disco to break it up but it allows O’Haire to hit the Seanton (yes I spelled that right) Bomb to end it. Imagine a guy Orton’s size doing a Swanton and imagine how awesome it would look. Wright beats up Rey afterwards and Konnan tries to save. He gets beaten down also but Sgt. AWOL (member of the MIA) comes in for the save. Konnan can’t stand up.

Rating: B. This was FUN. You had six relatively young guys out there just having fun in a fast paced tag match. It’s a great choice for an opener and I got very into it. This was WCW’s problem though: this is pretty much going to be the match of the night and the crowd is going to decline as we continue. Very fun opener though and I liked it a lot.

AWOL has a hardcore title match next so he just hangs out and sets up a table. WCW guys come out and attach trash cans full of weapons to the posts.

Hardcore Title: Reno vs. Sergeant AWOL

I liked Reno so this should be bad anyway. Reno brings a kendo stick and pops Wall (his old name) with it so Wall kicks him in the face then goes through a table. Uh sure. We have NEW Hardcore rules here which are now falls count anywhere and anything goes. Back in the day the matches had to start in the back and end in the ring. WCW managed to make a video game out of that concept. Yeah they were dead at this point.

Just a basic weapons match at this point with no one really caring. See what I meant about the quality going down? Wall puts the trashcan over Reno’s head and kicks the can into the railing. That looked painful but after looking at it for about two seconds you can see he missed Reno completely. And now he does it again just because he can. Wall and Stevie do the Too Sweet hand gesture for zero explained reason.

They head up to the ramp as Stevie says this could end at the Brown Derby. For those unfamiliar, the Brown Derby is a restaurant in Los Angeles. Chokeslam is blocked and Reno hits the Roll of the Dice (Cross Rhodes) on the ramp. He gets a table and then a second one on top of that. According to the laws of wrestling of course Reno goes through them shortly thereafter.

The guys go off into some BIG empty area (you know because it’s not like FANS could go there as we need it for this one moment in a pointless match) before we head to the back. A computer monitor is thrown at Reno who counters with a fire extinguisher for two. Computer monitor to Reno’s head lets Madden say he knew the internet would destroy wrestling. That’s very funny all things considered. Actually it’s not as Mark Madden is not a laughing matter.

Wall drills Finlay who is an agent at this point and we head back into the arena. This is just going on WAY too long at this point and it’s not interesting at all anymore. Scratch that as it would imply that something about this match was interesting at all in the first place. Wall gets the fifth table of the match (the word overkill means nothing in WCW if you didn’t get that) but gets hit with a chair by Reno. Roll of the Dice (Cross Rhodes. It looked weak with no impact at all) onto the table ends this.

Rating: D-. This got ELEVEN MINUTES. Yeah this match is deserving of more time than the good opener. There was nothing at all here to set this apart from any other standard hardcore match. WCW had no idea what they were doing with this division and that’s very clear.

More Thrillers come down for the post match beatdown until the Misfits come out for the save.

Shane talks to the Thrillers which either isn’t live or Palmbo managed to get to the back and get dressed inside of 6 seconds. Ah ok it’s earlier today. Nash has put Douglas in charge of the Thrillers for the night. Sure why not.

Goldberg was hurt on Thunder apparently.

Kronik is looking for Goldberg who isn’t here yet. They want some beer. See they were big strong guys that beat people up for money and drank beer. Yeah you get the idea.

Perfect Event vs. Misfits in Action

Shawn Stasiak/Chuck Palumbo vs. Lieutenant Loco (Chavo)/Corporal Cajun (Lash Leroux) for those of you unfamiliar. This was signed seconds ago. Well of course it was. Stasiak has been a problem in the group apparently so expect that to cause the loss for them. Chavo and Stasiak start us off here as this is just a basic tag team match.

Chavo plays Ricky Morton as I could not be less interested in this match while still writing about it. We get the second release date for Backstage Assault in the last ten minutes. One thing says Halloween and one thing says not until December. The game sucked anyway so it’s not like it really mattered. According to Tony there used to be a limit to the amount of saves a partner could make in a match. I’ve heard of that before actually so it’s not as insane as it sounds.

NICE overhead belly to belly by Palumbo to Chavo as it’s all Perfect Event. Hot tag to Cajun who was underrated I think. A bad sleeper from Palumbo has Cajun in trouble for bad acting. The referee is Scott Armstrong, as in the blonde guy that used to be in WWE with the hitch in his count.

If you’re going to use the sleeper, at least do something other than having an arm in front of the throat Palumbo. Soon afterwards everything goes nuts and like I said before heel miscommunication leads to Palumbo kicking Stasiak and a tornado DDT from Chavo ends it.

Rating: D+. This was just there. It’s about ten minutes long and nothing at all of note happens in it. Two teams had a wrestling match on a show for the company they work for. That’s all that happened here. It was just ok and this was once again one of the issues with WCW: matches on PPV had no point at all, much like this one.

Kidman and Rey won’t sub for Konnan who is still hurt.

Shane Douglas/Torrie Wilson vs. Konnan/Tygress

Torrie is dressed as Wonder Woman and DANG. Shane cuts his usual awful promo about how the whole injury thing earlier was planned. Sure why not. No Konnan to start us off. Tygress sets for a Bronco Buster (FACE FULL OF STUFF according to Madden) is blocked and there is still no Konnan. We saw him heading to the ring before the match started and here he is from through the crowd. Did he get lost or something? Was he following a trail of popcorn maybe?

Rolling clothesline hits Shane as Konnan is wearing a Vince Carter Team USA jersey. We get something close to an actual tag match finally with the guys in there. And so much for that as Tygress beats her up. Tony shows the idiocy of himself as he’s shocked that a woman can do a wristlock. You know, in a company where there was a Women’s Cruiserweight Title.

Shane punches Tygress to send her down as this is boring already. Mixed tags rarely work and this is no exception. Torrie can’t wrestle. That’s all there is to it. Madden makes sex jokes as Stevie calls a camel clutch a Boston Crab. Oh wait we have to call it a Steiner Recliner. Sure why not.

Why did Shane Douglas keep getting work? He was only worth anything in ECW and even there it wasn’t much. Outside of that though, no one was ever interested and yet he kept getting pushes. Konnan comes in and seems to be just fine of course. More Bronco Busters as this needs to end badly. And then Konnan does a double facebuster on the heels to win it. Thank goodness.

Rating: D-. Torrie looked good. The rest of this is a failure. Was there a point anywhere here? If there was I missed it completely. Totally boring match with nothing going on at all and Tygress being in the ring more often than not. There’s nothing else to say here at all.

David Flair has a First DNA match tonight to find out who slept with his girlfriend and fathered her child. He has two guys in labcoats with him. Again, two more guys that get a PPV paycheck here that are completely unneeded.

Buff Bagwell vs. David Flair

This is a first blood match. Buff cuts a basic promo early on about David being rather small. David is a guy I felt sorry for as he had more or less zero talent but he kept going out there and trying as hard as he could in a spot he flat out was not ready for but was there because of his last name being Flair. It wasn’t his fault though so it’s hard to get on him.

David is slammed off the top as this is one sided so far as it should be. Since this is a first blood match, both guys use a lot of slams and work on the other guy’s back. Flair finally swings a chair which of course misses. Chair shot to David and the somehow best wrestler in this match, Buff Bagwell, has David in trouble. Yeah Flair is bleeding and the referee doesn’t seem to care. Buff throws in a Blockbuster just for fun as the referee finally sees it.

Rating: F. Another stupid match. We have a five minute first blood match of course because clearly this needed a gimmick. This went nowhere at all and was almost pure dominance by Bagwell.

Luger comes down and beats up Bagwell with Tony shouting about how many times is Luger going to turn on people. Buff’s mouth is busted open and David gets a sample from it. David walks toward the back as Goldberg is getting here, an hour into the show. This was supposed to end with Russo sleeping with Stacy which thankfully never happened.

Steiner cuts another generic promo.

Mike Sanders vs. Ernest Miller

Ok, this is one of those matches that you just have to go with. This is a kickboxing match between a wrestler (Sanders) and a karate dude (Ernest Miller) for the Commissionership of WCW. There are three two minute rounds. You can only win by knockout as in after a ten count as well. Somehow this is by far the simplest aspect of the thing by the end of the match.

The winner is the Commissioner, which about five people have been in the past 12 months. Perfect Event is at ringside with Sanders and Cat’s chick, Ms. Jones, is with him. Miller, someone actually trained in this, of course destroys him for the most part. Round one ends and of course they fight even more after the bell.

There are no points or judges or anything so if no one is knocked out by the end of the rounds I have no idea what happens. To be fair I have no idea what is happening in the match itself so it balances out I guess. At about a minute gone by in the SECOND round, both of which are TWO MINUTES long, Tony says it’s been about four minutes so far. Do I even need to make fun of this anymore?

Sanders gets drilled by a punch and the Perfect Event argues over whether or not to throw in the towel. Sanders wants it in but the bell rings and he can’t leave yet. And here’s Shane Douglas here to be annoying I guess. Since it’s a wrestling show, the referee is on the floor arguing during the match. Cat gets a cartwheel kick to END Sanders.

Palumbo gets in again and Douglas pops Miller with a chain. The referee does the SLOWEST COUNT EVER, being at 6 with 20 seconds left but Miller is saved by the bell. Madden gets popped. Keep in mind that the match is over. Miller hits the floor and the referee starts counting as Miller brawls with Douglas and Sanders wins after the match is over.

Rating: N/A. To sum this up, a wrestler beat a martial artist in a kickboxing match after he beat the bell when a guy hit him with a chain but was counted out for leaving the ring to brawl with a guy not in the match after the fight was over to lose the commissionership of a major wrestling company. And Vince Russo made 2 million dollars a year for this. Let that sink in the next time you get your paycheck.

A doctor talks to Goldberg who insists he’s fine.

Kronik says they don’t care if they wrestle tonight as they get paid either way.

Vampiro vs. Mike Awesome

It’s That 70s Guy here which is yet another instance where WCW blows what could have been someone special. This is Vampiro’s last match with WCW so who do you think wins it? Vampiro has been extra evil or something lately and hates Awesome just because. Awesome has some title shot coming and Vampiro wants it on the line. Awesome, having nothing to gain, says sure.

Big plancha to the floor by Mike to half kill Vampiro. Dang he was great back in the day. Naturally since he was young and good he was made into a comedy character. We head into the crowd now and it’s all Awesome. A fan jumps Awesome and he’s in trouble people that need to drink to get through a show this bad.

Vampiro grabs a chair for both guys and we have a duel. Just wasting time now as not a lot is going on. Vampiro goes for a top rope belly to belly but he more or less just drops Awesome, letting him fly through the air and do all of the work, making it look bad. Awesome busts out a table which makes this at least the second match with them in it. Since they were used earlier, not a lot of people care here.

Stevie wants to know why this is legal and gets no answer. Stevie freaking Ray is the voice of reason on this show. The same Stevie Ray that had a segment called Suckas Gots To Know. Anyway Vampiro hits his finisher and looks for more weapons because he’s an idiot. Madden gets a Ghostbusters line in to make this a bit easier. Sitout Awesome Bomb on the floor as this is now falls count anywhere I guess.

Back in the ring as Vampiro takes an Awesome Bomb from the top rope for the academic pin. In other words the table means absolutely nothing as it wasn’t used at all. And of course we have a solid enough match like that and we get That 70s Guy music and go to General Rection. Nothing wrong with that is there?

Rating: C-. Not bad here and very physical. Awesome would change gimmicks eventually and get back to just being a tough guy but it was too late. Vampiro is a guy I never got at all and to this day I still don’t. This was ok though as Awesome just beat the crap out of him. The rules made no sense but that’s WCW for you.

Rection tries as well as he can to make this work but he’s still named General Rection.

We get a replay of the powerbomb. Is there a reason we needed to go to the interview before we saw that?

US Title: Jim Duggan/Lance Storm vs. General Rection

Storm is US Champion and has Major Gunns with him who is there against her will. Those white shorts were incredible looking on her though. Duggan was turned heel for zero apparent reason but hey, why not go against his character for about 12 years? Storm is still awesome in this role though so I’ll give him that. I feel sorry for Rection. He was trying as hard as he could here but the name was just something you couldn’t take him seriously with.

Duggan’s board is thrown out. I wish someone would take away my bored(om). The fans chant USA for the American face here. The Americans start us off here. Storm comes in and Rection clears the ring. Storm in now as nothing is really going on yet. They’re trying to make Rection look like a big deal here but like I’ve said, with that name how is that really possible?

Hacksaw goes for the referee but does nothing with him. He looks old and fat here so I guess he fits in perfectly. Double clothesline puts both guys down. I know I’m not saying much here but there’s nothing to say here. Sleeper goes on and draws some boos. Rection moves out of the way so Storm drills Duggan. Madden says the General has to beat both guys then says just one guy. Love that clarification Mark. I bet if this was TNA you’d know for sure.

Down goes everyone included the referee leaving only Duggan standing. Duggan hits a Piledriver but there’s no referee. He finally comes back and gets crushed on Rection’s kickout. Elix Skipper, another member of Team Canada, comes out with the board but Gunns drills him with the Canadian flag. She jumps Storm, allowing Rection to hit the moonsault (as in his head hits Duggan’s knee kind of) for the US Title.

Rating: D-. All because of Gunns here. This was just boring and the missed spot near the end just killed this thing out of whatever it had left going for it. General Rection is the US Champion. Is calling him Hugh Morrus really all that bad? It’s certainly a better sounding name but whatever. Pretty weak match so it fits in with the rest of the show.

Preview for Mayhem which Tony says is on Monday. Are days of the week really that hard?

Jarrett says he’s going to show that Sting has no spirit anymore. Can these two feud over anything else? He promises to see the evolution of Sting’s career tonight. Oh crap it’s THAT match.

Quick video here that says the same things the promo says.

Sting vs. Jeff Jarrett

Jarrett runs to start and Sting drills him. We fight on the floor and Sting dominates. Brock Lesnar just lost the UFC Title so I’m a bit stunned still. Splash misses but Sting braces himself and never loses control. And now we have a guy on the stage dressed like Sting was in the late 80s. Sting (I’ll use the name Sting for the real one) beats up the imitation and Death Drops him on the stage.

Madden: can you get disqualified for beating yourself up? That’s actually a decent question. The distraction allows Jarrett to take over and we go into the crowd. Out of the crowd (and what a coincidence that Sting took them to the perfect place) a 1990 Sting appears. One of the fake Stings (oh you know more are coming) is Chris Harris of TNA fame. Another Death Drop leaves him laying.

Cue the Wolfpack Sting and it’s the red paint Sting. Dang we skipped like 8 years in there. We get into a discussion of whether the Wolfpack was heel or face as the third fake Sting goes down but Jarrett picks up the bat and pops Sting which the referee is fine with I guess. And we get another sleeper now which even Madden makes fun of. When that fat jerk is making jokes about you that are correct, you have issues.

Sting makes the comeback and hooks a sleeper of his own just to bore us a bit more. Here’s the real comeback as he avoids a dropkick and goes for the Scorpion. And of course a fourth Sting pops up from under the ring (I think this is Harris) and pulls him through the ring. Fans boo the HECK out of this as Sting beats him up too. Stinger Splash hits twice and there go the lights.

The fifth fake Sting repels from the ceiling (can they please get their continuity right?) and Sting beats him down too. His wig falls off and Sting puts him through the table. It would have been nice if the table didn’t break BEFORE the impact but whatever. Back in the ring Sting goes for the Scorpion but Sting #4 pops him with a guitar. This is no sold but Jarrett’s guitar shot ends it. I give up.

Rating: R. As in only Russo can be blamed for this idiocy. Screw wrestling (it’s Jarrett/Sting. Do you really think it’s going to be bad?) apparently for the sake of insanity and FUN booking right? Two million dollars a year. Let that sink in again guys. How is a Scott Steiner match sounding like relief?

Booker talks about Goldberg for no apparent reason.

Brief Steiner video follows as we repair the ring.

WCW World Title: Scott Steiner vs. Booker T

Wow that was a quick fixing job on the ring. Ok apparently Booker changed the card order so Goldberg could have extra time. My face more or less says what the heck as I heard that but I want to get this show over with so I’ll let it go. Also the champion is coming out first here. In the back Steiner freaks out and beats up an agent because they’re not on last.

Was there any point to that? I get the concept of it making Steiner seem even crazier but did it add anything at all? They try to make this out to be some huge match but it’s not working at all. After a brief opening sequence Steiner goes out into the crowd after a fan. He was legit crazy for awhile so of course he got bigger and bigger pushes throughout the year.

Steiner throws some STIFF shots that sound very painful. We head into the crowd now as nothing of note is going on. Steiner puts Booker through the announce table as Stevie gets in a somewhat funny line: “Tony that’s the last table that we have!” The delivery was better than it sounds.

Surfboard by Steiner which thank goodness doesn’t end with a curb stomp. He yells at Stevie a lot as this is pretty much dominance. Steiner blocks the Axe Kick and it’s all Scotty here. Samoan Drop from the middle rope gets no cover. At this point there are fifteen minutes in the entire broadcast and we have an elimination handicap match to go. Spinning belly to belly gets two.

Stevie keeps harping on the fact that Scott will never be a champion. Takes one to know one I guess eh Stevie? Almost all Steiner here other than a little here and there from the champion. Missile dropkick hits for two which is surprising as that was one of his signature moves. Axe kick (complete with Steiner just standing there hunched over forever) hits for two.

Midajah (Steiner’s Freak) slips him a pipe which drills Booker in the knee which isn’t a DQ. The referee yells at him so the referee gets beaten up and put in a Tree of Woe. A second referee comes in during the Steiner Recliner so Steiner beats him up too. Even Madden is confused here, but that could be because someone asked him his name. The third referee comes in to DQ Steiner and the pipe beats up every referee and security guard in sight.

Rating: D. Another crap match here with a bad ending. Steiner DESTROYED the champion here for the most part and it looked horrible. Steiner would get the title the next month anyway which makes me wonder why in the world they didn’t go with that ending here. Steiner looked dominant here, making Booker look like a paper champion for the next month. Nice job WCW.

Jarrett has to come down to calm him down afterwards.

Package on Kronik vs. Goldberg. Russo hired them to beat Goldberg. End of story.

Goldberg vs. Kronik

Kronik’s music hits with about 8 minutes to go in the broadcast. Adams is freaking talking now. He says Goldberg hasn’t been cleared so there’s no match tonight. After the debacle of 1998’s version of this show how stupid are they? Their music plays and we cut to the back to see the athletic commission saying Goldberg is fine. His music hits with six minutes to go so we have his FULL ENTRANCE too.

Four and a half minutes to go with his pyro hitting. This is going to be so stupid. He’s in the ring with four minutes left and this is already horrible looking. No tagging here. They throw him to the floor and it’s just a brawl. Not a good one or anything but a brawl nonetheless. Even Tony says this isn’t a match. Nice to see him just admit it. Double clothesline puts Bill down.

We get ANOTHER TABLE as even Madden and Tony roll their eyes at this. Tony: We’re NEVER out of tables. Stevie: WHY DIDN’T WE GET THAT ONE? High Time (Double Chokeslam) through the table is blocked. Goldberg spears Clark (Tony gets the name wrong) through the table to end him as we’re told he has to beat both guys. Naturally this lasts like 30 seconds and the spear/Jackhammer end it. Three and a half minute main event. We’re off the air 20 seconds after the pin.

Rating: F. The main event of a PPV was a squash match that lasted three and a half minutes with former tag champions getting ended that fast. Do I need to explain why this was a failure?

Overall Rating: F-. This is one of the worst PPVs I can remember in a LONG time. There is all of one decent match on the card and like I said it went downhill after that. Stupid booking and stupid gimmicks all around and the show sucked because of it. Just a horrible show and the epitome of a lot of the things wrong with Russo. The world title match ended in a DQ and the main event didn’t break 200 seconds. You tell me why this sucked.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume I at Amazon for just $4 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for just $4 at:

Thunder
Date: June 4, 1998
Location: Peoria Civic Center, Peoria, Illinois
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Lee Marshall, Tony Schiavone

After Monday we have a major development in the form of Sting joining the Wolfpack as pretty much everyone figured he would. It really doesn’t change anything as WCW is just standing on the sidelines while the NWO civil war continues. Hopefully we get some of the Great American Bash card filled in tonight as the show is in ten days. Let’s get to it.

We open with the required recap of Sting joining the Wolfpack from Monday.

The announcers talk about the jump a bit.

Chris Benoit vs. Booker T

This is match #5 in the best of seven series for a TV Title shot at the Great American Bash with Benoit leading 3-1. They trade hammerlocks to start until Booker elbows him in the back to take over. A high side kick is good for two and the ax kick gets the same for Booker. Mr. T. stomps away in the corner but he whips Benoit in, only to be caught in the rolling Germans to give Benoit control.

A big back elbow to the face puts Booker down again and the Swan Dive connects for two. Stevie Ray is back at ringside to cheer his brother on. Benoit can’t get the Crossface and gets taken down by a spinwheel kick to the face. Booker hits a spinebuster and spins up, only to have his head taken off by a hard clothesline. Benoit makes the mistake of jawing with Stevie though and turns into the missile dropkick to close the gap to 3-2.

Rating: C+. As usual with this series, the matches are entertaining but they’re running out of new things to do. It also doesn’t help that with the series at 3-1, the endings to the next two matches are pretty obvious. On the other hand though, these have been by far the best matches on the shows almost every single night so they’re hardly a bad thing.

Here’s Giant with both tag belts and something to say. He doesn’t mind Sting joining the Wolfpack but thinks black and white would have looked better. However, he can’t live with being bodyslammed on national television like Sting did to him three days ago. Giant feels he should be able to pick a partner to be the tag team champions so here’s Brian Adams, apparently the new partner. Adams demands praise and says they won’t duck anyone as champions. Giant issues a challenge to Luger and anyone he can find to a tag title match tonight. I still want to know what Adams has on WCW to get this push.

Reese vs. Van Hammer

Reese shoves Hammer into the corner but Hammer shoves right back to frustrate the bigger man. Hammer slugs him into the corner but Reese comes back by just lifting Hammer into the air and dropping him down to the mat. A vertical suplex gets two on Hammer and for the first time ever, Lee Marshall has an interesting idea: could Lodi’s nonsensical signs be codes from Raven for what he wants the Flock to do? Hammer clotheslines Reese down but Horace blasts him in the back of the head, giving Reese the pin via a chokebomb.

Rating: D. Just a battle of the big men here as the Flock continues to spin its wheels. Reese was actually bigger than the Giant but is a great example of size not making a great wrestler. He’s not bad but there’s nothing more to him other than his size and that’s why he never went anywhere.

Post match the Flock beats down Hammer until Juventud Guerrera makes the save. He clears the ring until there’s just Reese left. Hammer gets Juvy out of the ring before he gets squashed like a grape.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Alex Wright

Before the match Eddie tells Chavo that Grandma has said to take time off and cool down, so Chavo needs to leave for a few months. Alex jumps Eddie to start but here’s crazy Chavo a few seconds in. Wright immediately throws him to the floor but the referee calls for the bell anyway. The match was maybe 30 seconds.

Chavo stalks Eddie to the back and Wright dances a bit.

Here’s Luger with something to say. Apparently there’s no point to the survey because this is clearly a Wolfpack town (based on how quiet the fans are I’d hate to see them in enemy territory). Luger has been named head of recruiting for the Wolfpack after all his success with Sting. The challenge is accepted for tonight and Luger names DDP as his partner, saying he has a Wolfpack shirt for Page too.

TV Title: Fit Finlay vs. Psychosis

Psychosis tries to slide between Finlay’s legs but accidentally dropkicks him in the knee in a painful looking botch. Finlay comes right back with some hard forearms to the back as the match immediately slows down. Psychosis is dropped throat first on the top rope and the fans are already chanting boring because the idea of a slow paced match doesn’t work for them. We hit a LONG chinlock and now the chants are justified. Psychosis finally fights up and tries to get some offense going, including a top rope Frankensteiner for two. Not that it matters though as Finlay picks him up and tombstones him to retain.

Rating: D+. The match wasn’t as bad as the fans thought it was, but it still wasn’t anything really worth seeing. The chinlock hurt it a lot and cutting this down by a minute or so would have helped a lot. Finlay probably won’t hold the title much longer as I can’t imagine the winner of the series not taking the title from him.

Clips of Sting being recruited by and joining the Wolfpack on Monday.

Glacier vs. Saturn

Glacier does his full entrance but as he’s warming up, Saturn comes in behind him and hits a sick German suplex for two. Ice boy bails to the floor but Saturn hits a great looking plancha to take him down again. Back in and Glacier gets a boot up in the corner followed by some rapid kicks to the stomach. Saturn crotches him on the top and hits a middle rope http://onhealthy.net/product-category/mens-health/ suplex, meaning he was in the middle of the rope rather than the corner. A Lodi distraction lets Saturn superkick Glacier down but the referee goes down in the process. Cue Kanyon dressed as a referee with a Downward Spiral to Saturn. Glacier hits the superkick for the pin.

Rating: C-. This was mainly advancing the story between Kanyon and Saturn, which is further proof that Glacier’s whining about kicks isn’t needed at all. Saturn looked good with his high impact offense and Kanyon was an offensive genius so he was his usual entertaining self. Still though, Glacier gets on nerves as always.

Here’s Hennig to ask the fans if they like Goldberg. Obviously they do, but surprisingly enough they seem pleased with the idea of Curt beating him up at the PPV. Unfortunately Curt’s knee won’t be healed by then so Konnan will be getting Hennig’s US Title shot, as long as Konnan gives Curt the first shot.

Cruiserweight Title: Dean Malenko vs. Silver King

Dean easily takes him down to the mat in a headlock before shifting over to another variation of one. Silver King fights up and chops away, only to get caught in a suplex. Dean takes him to the corner but here’s Jericho with a book. He rings the bell and apparently that’s enough to throw the match out. Those referees are trigger happy tonight.

Jericho says this is an NWA rule book from 1934 that he found in the Library of Congress. Apparently the Strangler Lewis Rule states that the champion can refuse to face anyone and since Jericho never agreed to wrestle Dean, JJ needs to come down here right now and vacate the title. When that fails completely, Jericho tells Dean to stop dishonoring his dead pappy and give him the belt right now. The belt goes upside Jericho’s head, sending him to the floor, swearing vengeance.

Raven vs. Disco Inferno

Raven charges right into the corner to stomp Disco down before raking his face. Disco gets an elbow up in the corner before choking Raven with wrist tape. A swinging neckbreaker gets two for Inferno but Raven easily sends him to the floor. Disco is sent into the steps and Raven sends both him and a chair back into the ring. Disco blocks a hiptoss and sends Raven face first into the chair before stomping a mudhole in the corner. Raven comes right back with the drop toehold into the chair and the Even Flow ends this easily.

Post match Raven calls out Kanyon for a one on one showdown, even laying down on his back to give Kanyon an advantage.

Before the next match, Tony acknowledges the passing of Junkyard Dog the previous Tuesday. Glad they worked that in after 90 minutes.

US Title: Goldberg vs. Hugh Morrus

The announcers aren’t sure if Goldberg can use his power on someone like Morrus, because WCW announcers have the memories of banana slugs. Morrus jumps Goldberg to start but the champion pulls in Barbarian to make himself break a sweat. Jimmy Hart is thrown at both guys and a double spear puts them down. Barbarian and Morrus both get Jackhammers to make Goldberg 95-0.

Tag Titles: Giant/Brian Adams vs. Lex Luger/Diamond Dallas Page

We’re not sure if Page is going to accept the offer to join Luger or not but here he is with limited drama, albeit to his own music in a separate entrance from Luger. Page doesn’t have taped up ribs anymore. Heenan brings up a good point: neither of these teams have ever teamed together or at least not in a very long time yet they’re fighting for the tag titles. Tenay uses this as an opportunity to talk about the tag match at Great American Bash because why would a title match here and now be more important than a non-title match ten days from now?

Luger shoves Adams into the ropes to start and clotheslines him down before tagging in Page for a big reaction. A belly to belly suplex gets two for Page and it’s back to the arm. Back to Luger for a hiptoss as Tony says he doesn’t think Page would have come out here if a member of the Wolfpack had come out here, because apparently Tony doesn’t remember Luger is in the group. Luger misses a charge in the corner and it’s off to Giant to stand on his chest.

A Russian legsweep puts Luger down again and it’s back to Adams for a rake to the eyes and a legdrop for two. Back to Giant to throw Luger around with ease and plant him with a slam. Adams comes back in with a bearhug and a backbreaker before bringing Giant in again. The big man misses an elbow drop and it’s back to DDP via the hot tag. Page cleans house but Giant breaks up a Diamond Cutter attempt on Adams. Sting comes out to distract Giant, allowing Page to Diamond Cut Adams for the pin and the titles.

Rating: C-. This actually wasn’t terrible as they worked a basic formula and didn’t have the insanity that most WCW matches have. Luger and Page worked well enough together out there and Giant was his usual self. Adams was fine as a generic power guy which is all he ever should have been. Not bad here.

Not that it matters though as JJ calls in and says the title change doesn’t count because Giant had no authority to make Adams his partner. Therefore at the Bash, it’s Giant vs. Sting with the winner getting both belts and the right to pick his new championship partner.

Overall Rating: C+. This was the best Thunder they’ve had in months. The lack of main event guys until the last match gave everyone else a chance to shine and we actually got storyline development on top of the watchable matches. On top of that, every match seemed to have a purpose, with an insane FOUR title matches on the B show. Good stuff here actually.

 

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Thunder
Date: May 28, 1998
Location: Nashville Municipal Auditorium, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Lee Marshall, Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan

The main story coming into tonight is, say it with me: what side is Sting on? After Luger joined the Wolfpack on Monday, Sting was offered a spot but the show ended before we got his response. We’re heading into the Great American Bash and we only know a few matches so far. Whatever we’re getting though isn’t the most thrilling stuff in the world. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the end of Nitro with Sting holding up the Wolfpack shirt but not putting it on.

Opening sequence.

The announcers talk about the Sting situation for the first of about 95 times tonight.

Here’s Bret Hart to open things up. He wants peace and quiet while he talks because the fans sound disappointed in him. That’s fine though as he’s disappointed in the fans as well. No one knows what it’s like to be in a tough situation better than he does. Every time he steps in the ring he gives everything he has and he’s the best there is, was and ever will be. However there’s one guy going through a tug of war with his conscience and that would be Sting.

Bret knows exactly what Sting is going through with everyone pulling him in various directions. The red and black don’t suit Sting at all but later tonight, Bret is going to offer Sting the keys to his wrestling future. He won’t need the people anymore and he’ll be more successful than ever before.

Jim Powers vs. Barbarian

Barbarian grabs a headlock to start but Powers comes back with some weak kicks to the ribs. Choking puts Jim down again, Powers makes a comeback, Jimmy Hart interferes, big boot gets the pin for Barbarian. This would have been boring even as a dark match.

Here’s Chris Jericho in a Rey Mysterio shirt for an interview. Chris feels bad because he and JJ got in an argument on Monday but that will never EVER happen again. He’d be perfectly happy if JJ just brought him his Cruiserweight Title right now, but JJ isn’t here tonight. Jericho makes Tony hold up the Conspiracy Victim sign and swears that this isn’t over. On Monday, Jericho is going to Washington D.C. and find the best legal sources he can find to prove that he should be Cruiserweight Champion.

The announcers talk about Sting some more and show us a video of Giant calling out Nash, resulting in Luger joining the Wolfpack. We also get the ending of the show again.

High Voltage vs. Jim Neidhart/British Bulldog

The non-WWF refugees jump start the match but get sent into each other and out to the floor. We start with Neidhart vs. Kaos and Jim cranks on the arm for a bit. Kaos takes him down by the head and it’s off to Rage for a slingshot legdrop for two. Rage misses an elbow and it’s off to the Bulldog with the fans not caring at all. The delayed vertical suplex gets two and everything breaks down. Bulldog powerslams Kaos for a fast pin. Another worthless match.

Here’s the Wolfpack, debuting their signature rap song. There’s no Hennig or Rude with them which is probably the best option. Savage says Luger is the man. Luger says there are times in life where you have to go with your gut instinct and that’s why he’s here right now. The Wolfpack is the place to go if you want to win titles and it felt right to make the jump. He still respects WCW and didn’t turn his back on them. Sometimes in life you’re either a player or you’re not, so he’s a player in the Wolfpack right now.

This brings Luger to Sting. They’ve known each other for years and while they haven’t always seen eye to eye, there will always be friends. Luger felt something on Nitro and Sting told Luger he felt it too. Sting needs to take the same step that Luger took and don’t listen to someone like Bret Hart who knows nothing about him. Luger does the too sweet line and we’re out. This explanation took less than five minutes and made perfect sense. Why couldn’t we get something like this from Bret?

Glacier vs. Van Hammer

Are they just trying to torture me this week? Feeling out process to start with Glacier casually kicking Hammer down. Hammer comes back with a cobra clutch slam and does the Crane Kick pose from Karate Kid. Back up and Hammer shoulders Glacier down for two and the ice man rolls to the floor. They head back inside with Glacier kicking away in the corner, only to be punched in the side of the head for his efforts. A big kick to the face puts Hammer down and Glacier puts on the Rings of Saturn but he lets go early, allowing Saturn to run in and beat on Glacier for the pin.

Rating: D. The fact that this is the match of the night so far should tell you everything you need to know about this show. Glacier isn’t interesting as a character and it’s a downgrade for Saturn to have to feud with him. This match was as bland as the rest of them have been tonight but this was longer, which could be a benefit or a detriment depending on how you enjoy torture.

Post match Raven and Saturn lay out Hammer and Glacier. Raven gets on his knees and begs Saturn to be his partner again but they think they see Mortis, only to beat up a popcorn vendor instead. Mortis sneaks up behind them dressed as I think a construction worker to blast Raven with a cookie sheet and leave. Saturn carries Raven to the back.

Chris Benoit vs. Booker T

This is match #2 in the best of seven series for the TV Title shot at the Bash. Benoit won the first match on Monday with the Crossface and I’m sure this is going to be the best match of the night. Booker grabs a headlock to start but Benoit takes him down with a drop toehold. A powerslam puts Chris down and an elbow drop gets two. Off to an armbar on Benoit for a few seconds before they trade standing switches and a spinning kick drops Benoit to the floor.

Back in and Benoit gets two each off a snap suplex and a clothesline. A hard whip into the corner puts Booker down for two more and we hit the chinlock. Benoit shifts into a double arm crank before hitting a hard chop to put Booker down again. Booker comes back with a clothesline to put both guys down as we take a breather. It’s Benoit up first with a backbreaker to set up the Swan Dive for a very close two.

Back to the chinlock on Booker but he fights up with a flapjack to get a rest. Benoit avoids the side kick and crotches himself on the top rope and a German suplex is good for two. A big mudhole is stomped in Booker but he comes back with a suplex of his own. Benoit ducks the side kick but the second attempt connects, setting up the missile dropkick to tie the series.

Rating: C+. This was more of a back and forth match than what they did on Sunday but the action was still very solid. These matches are very helpful for WCW as they give the show some meat instead of the quick and dull matches that dominate the shows most of the time. Good match here.

Benoit praises Booker but questions his heart. We’ll find out what Booker is made of but he’ll find out why Benoit is the Crippler.

TV Title: Brad Armstrong vs. Fit Finlay

Feeling out process to start until Finlay grabs a headlock. That goes nowhere so they run the ropes a bit and Armstrong gets two off a hiptoss. Finlay comes back with a shot to the side of the head and a slam. A clothesline puts Armstrong down as the announcers talk about which NWO Sting will join. The idea of him staying with WCW isn’t even considered. We hit the chinlock and the boring chants begin. Finlay drives some elbows into the chest but Armstrong comes back with a belly to back suplex for two. Not that it matters as Finlay tombstones him down to retain.

Rating: D-. END THIS SHOW ALREADY! I can’t take many more of these matches. There has been one decent match in an hour and a half of this show. The best part so far was a Lex Luger promo which lasted about two minutes. Those are your highlights so far. Is there no one else Finlay can fight for that belt?

This week in WCW Motorsports. Next.

The announcers talk about the Savage/Piper segment from Nitro and of course we see the whole thing.

Barry Darsow vs. Saturn

They hit the mat to start with Saturn grabbing a headlock. Darsow misses a right hand and gets suplexed down before Saturn fires off kicks in the corner. Darsow gets two off a clothesline before sending Saturn’s shoulder into the post. A spinwheel kick puts Barry down but he comes back with a quick shoulder breaker. His Barely Legal arm hold can’t get locked on so Saturn superkicks him down and ends Barry with the Death Valley Driver.

Rating: D+. Oddly enough Darsow’s psychology worked here. It’s really basic stuff (he has an arm hold finisher so wok on the arm) but that’s often enough to carry a short match like this. Nothing special to see here but somehow this is in the upper half of the matches on this show. Let that sink in for a minute.

To cap off this horribly boring show, we have technical issues and get a graphic of the arena. Well of some arena, as when the feed comes back we see a wide shot of a very different building.

US Title: Barry Horowitz vs. Goldberg

Seriously, this is the main event. Match lasts 45 seconds and you can fill in the blanks yourself.

Here’s Bret for the big recruitment speech to Sting despite Bret not even being an official NWO member as far as I know. Giant and Bischoff come out with him so at least there’s some kind of association. Bret says he’s the only man that can trust Sting and he was there to prove it at Starrcade. If he had anything to do with it, Sting would still be world champion. He lists off some similarities before calling Nash and Savage old and washed up. Sting can’t trust those guys but here’s the Wolfpack to disagree. Bret calls them all scum and the brawl is on to end the show. No Sting.

Overall Rating: F+. This is the worst kind of show you can have. It wasn’t really terrible, but it was SO boring. What happened on this show? We got a bunch of low level acts in squashes, no development in any storyline (unless you really stretch and call Booker tying up the series significant) and no Sting. Oh wow the NWO factions are fighting again. Such an interesting story. Absolutely retched show tonight and it really makes it clear how WWF was taking over.

 

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Monday Nitro #162
Date: October 12, 1998
Location: United Center, Chicago, Illinois
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan, Larry Zbyszko

This isn’t being done in like with the usual Nitro series so I don’t have full context for this one. We’re closing in on Halloween Havoc with the double main event of Diamond Dallas Page vs. Goldberg for the title and Hogan vs. Ultimate Warrior in a battle for our sanity. Looking at the card we don’t have nearly as many matches as usual, which means this might be a talking heavy show. Oh joy. Let’s get to it.

We open with Bischoff yelling at a guard, telling him to not let Ric Flair into the building at any cost. Bischoff goes outside to tell Doug Dillinger the same, giving him some cops for extra security.

We look at a clip from last week with what looked like Bret Hart refusing to be put on a stretcher. Sting however is carted off.

Nitro Girls.

Halloween Havoc ad.

The announcers intro the show.

We see even more of Bret vs. Sting brawling last week. Also Bret wants to fight Sting again at Halloween Havoc.

Video on Bret Hart, who apparently has recently turned heel. Again.

Video on the unveiling of the WCW MasterCard, set to the Hardy Boys’ theme song.

Intro, after ten minutes of promos and videos.

Here’s another video on Meng destroying Chris Adams on Thunder. Wrath came out to stop Meng in a clash of the titans.

Lodi vs. Wrath

Wrath is on a huge winning streak at this point. The fans are all over Lodi as Wrath runs him over with a clothesline. We get a mudhole stomping in the corner followed by a big shoulder tackle. The Meltdown (pumphandle powerslam) destroys Lodi in about 90 seconds.

Meng comes out to brawl with Wrath in the aisle but we immediately cut to another video.

This time it’s Reid Flair taking down Bischoff last week with Arn standing guard. The NWO came down but got taken out by the Horsemen.

Video on DDP vs. Goldberg.

Kendall Windham vs. Dale Torborg

This is when Dale is a member of the pit crew for WCW racing before he became the Demon. Windham takes him to the floor and sends him into the barricade a few times. Back in and Kendall keeps pounding away as this is a huge waste of time so far. Kendall stomps on Dale’s head as the fans want Goldberg. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Kendall misses a few elbows. Dale comes back with a dropkick but gets caught in a swinging neckbreaker. A bulldog is blocked and Torborg hits a bicycle kick out of nowhere for the pin. Dale appears to have hurt his knee.

Rating: D-. This got four and a half minutes. Let that sink in for a minute when we don’t have time for something later on tonight. Windham was a good example of how talent doesn’t always run in the family as he was nothing compared to Barry. Torborg was nothing special at all but he kept getting sent out there with various gimmicks.

More Nitro Girls.

Nitro Party winner.

Video from last week of Goldberg saving Page from Kanyon, Raven and Lodi.

Here’s Sting with something to say. Last week he and Bret Hart had a war in the back, but he’s been counting down the days until tonight so he could call Bret out right now. That’s not all though because he also wants Hogan right here tonight. Instead he gets the Warrior who talks about how far a little dab of paint can take you. WCW is Sting’s battleground but Warrior wants to make a one time request. The fans are really not in the mood for Warrior tonight as he rambles about having the will to win one battle at a time. The short version of this three minute rambling is Warrior wants in on the fight with Hogan and Hart.

We get the third video on Goldberg vs. Page of the first hour.

Hour #2 begins so here’s the Black and White with something to say. They talk about all the business they have to take care of tonight before Hogan reminds us that he’s the god of wrestling. Tonight it’s Giant vs. Goldberg in a No DQ match for the title because Hogan is tired of Goldberg being a thorn in his side. The challenge for the tag match is accepted for later tonight but Hogan has to awkwardly pause after saying ultimate, only to save himself by saying it’ll be the ultimate encounter. Nice catch.

As the NWO leaves a security guard tells Bischoff that the Horsemen are inside the building. Tony: “How did they get in?” Larry: “Through one of the 25 doors?” Bischoff goes outside and sees a limo pulling up with Flair inside. So much for being in the building. Flair is with the owner of the United Center who says the Horsemen will be in a corporate box with him tonight. Benoit tells Bischoff to talk to the hand.

Video on Hogan vs. Warrior. This includes the stupid idea of only Hogan being able to see Warrior in a mirror.

Fit Finlay vs. Alex Wright

This is during a mini angle over who is the best European wrestler in the company. Wright runs down the American audience and lists off some European wrestlers he’s beaten. Alex talks about ending Finlay’s dad’s career, earning him a forearm to the face. The brawl starts on the floor and Wright is sent back first into the apron. Back in and Wright gets two off a sunset flip but Finlay comes back with a short arm clothesline and the rolling senton. Fit misses a charge into the post but pops right up to the top, only to jump into a boot. Wright grabs a hot shot and puts his feet on the ropes for a fast pin.

Post match British Bulldog comes out to pound on Wright and send him running off.

La Parka/Ciclope/Villano V vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr/Psychosis/Super Calo

Chavo is loony by this point, meaning he has his stick horse Pepe with him. Calo and La Parka get us going and it’s an early dance off. They hit the ropes with Villano hitting Calo in the back of the head, allowing La Parka to take his head off with a clothesline. La Parka accidentally hits Villano twice in a row, sending him out to the floor for a running flip dive off the apron from Calo. Everyone unleashes the dives with everybody being taken out at least once.

Back inside and Calo misses a moonsault press on Villano and walks into a powerslam for two. Psychosis breaks it up with a guillotine legdrop and it’s time for Psychosis vs. La Parka. This is going way too fast to keep up with. La Parka gets two off a powerslam but here’s Chavo to suplex La Parka down for the same. Ciclope comes in for a modified Boston crab on Chavo but Psychosis makes a quick save.

Everything breaks down again with Chavo and Calo dropkicking Villano and La Parka to the floor for stereo dives. Psychosis avoids a charge from Ciclope to send him outside where Psychosis can hit a senton backsplash from the top. Cue Eddie and the LWO as Chavo hits the tornado DDT on Ciclope for the pin.

Rating: B. This was almost impossible to keep up with but it was incredibly entertaining. There’s little more fun than taking six fast guys and throwing them out there in a meaningless match where they can fly all around the ring and that’s what WCW let them do. Really fun match here and a nice breath of fresh air after all the lame talking.

Eddie, along with LWO members Damien, El Dandy and Hector Garza, get in the ring and recruit all six guys to join up. They can’t get any respect on their own but united they can’t be stopped. Eddie challenges any NWO member to come out here and wrestle like these guys just did. The only guys from the match in the ring are Chavo and Psychosis but the other four are listening on the floor. Chavo walks away but Psychosis puts on the LWO shirt.

Nitro Girls.

Here’s Scott Steiner for yet another promo. Apparently he’s not getting along with Buff because of…..wait for it…..Judy Bagwell. Heenan jumps in on commentary before Scott gets to the ring. Scott talks about carrying the Steiners like Sammy Sosa is carrying the Chicago Cubs. After bragging about how awesome he is with women, he talks about having problems with Buff and his mom. Judy needs to stay in the kitchen doing the dishes, because he and Buff are just fine.

This brings out Judy and Buff with the later saying they do have a problem. Scott says Buff’s problem is he has a bad neck and Scott could snap it at any time. Buff says he’s been listening to his mom and thinks Scott is the problem. Steiner threatens to take Buff’s NWO shirt off of him right now so Buff challenges him to a fight. Judy plays peacekeeper but Scott calls her an old bag. Scott threatens to slap her and you know it’s on now. Buff goes after him but Scott hits him low and drops the bad neck across the top rope.

The Horsemen and the owner of the building are having a party in the box.

Juventud Guerrera vs. Prince Iaukea

Before the match here’s Disco Inferno who says the people are here to see him dance. Iaukea knocks him off the apron and we’re ready to go. Juvy snaps off a great headscissors as Kidman (Cruiserweight Champion and no longer in the Flock) comes out to chase Disco off. The Prince gets two off a rollup and we hit the chinlock. Back up and Juvy hits a Fameasser for two but misses a dropkick. Here’s Disco again as Prince stops Juvy with a kick to the face. Guerrera comes back with a springboard missile dropkick but Disco breaks up the 450. Prince goes after Disco though, allowing Juvy to hit the Juvy Driver for the pin.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t a very good match but it had its moments. The Disco vs. Kidman stuff was annoying but at least it sets up a title feud down the line. Juvy continues to be entertaining for the most part while the Prince is still the same guy that has bored me for years now.

Here’s Kevin Nash with something to say. He talks about how Hall isn’t around as usual and how Scott is on his last nerve. Before Nash was a wrestler he was a bouncer, so he knows a thing or two about being up drunks, so get out here Scott because it’s last call. Here’s a staggering Hall with a cup in his hand. He says he’ll fight Nash down here while doing the crotch chop, drawing Nash up the aisle. They head into the back with Hall getting into a limo. Nash chases after him in his own car.

TV Title: Chris Jericho vs. Raven

Jericho is defending. Raven takes him into the corner but doesn’t go after him. They head to the floor and again Raven isn’t aggressive at all, allowing the champion to send him into the barricade for early control. Jericho brings in a chair but Raven dropkicks it back into his face before wedging it into the corner. Naturally Raven is the one being sent into the steel, knocking him out to the floor again. Raven avoids a charge into the post and they head back inside for the drop toehold into the chair. Not that it matters as Raven’s Even Flow is countered into the Liontamer for an immediate submission. Short but action packed.

Hour #3 begins.

Here’s Rick Steiner to talk about his upcoming showdown with Scott when he’s interrupted by….oh dear goodness it’s this show……he’s interrupted by Chucky from the Child’s Play movies. The doll pops up on the screen and makes fun of Rick for barking while Chucky is getting to film love scenes with Jennifer Tilly.

Rick Steiner calls Chucky down to the ring while Chucky makes mom jokes about Steiner. Chucky plugs his new movie and praises Scott Steiner as this just keeps going. This is one of those things that is too stupid for words and belongs on every stupidest moments ever list. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but Rick Steiner deserves better than this.

So the announcers have spent all night talking about a six man tag match between the NWO factions with Hall and Nash on either side. However, since Hall and Nash are gone, the match is off because the other four guys can’t wrestle for some reason. My guess is the match was cut for time due to a slasher movie villain and a Dale Torborg match.

Or it could be because of ALL THE FREAKING PROMOS, including this one from Bischoff. Tonight this isn’t the United Center because it’s the Bischoff Center. He demands JJ Dillon and Doug Dillinger come to the ring and demands they take him to the private suite. This turns into a four minute walk up to the suite and a two minute argument over whether or not Eric has authority here tonight. Security finally takes him down and cuffs him. Flair comes out and pours champagne on Bischoff. The announcers talk about how awesome this is as Bischoff is taken outside. This somehow took ten minutes in total.

Wait it’s still not done as Flair dances a bit in front of the box and Flair is shown being taken out in a car, ranting and raving about how awesome he is. This just went on WAY too long and really didn’t accomplish anything. This stretched out to nearly fifteen minutes in total.

WCW World Title: Goldberg vs. The Giant

Goldberg is defending and Giant is a tag champion but I’ll only refer to Goldberg as champion here for the sake of simplicity. This is also No DQ. Giant shoves him around to start and actually dropkicks Goldberg down. Goldberg no sells some shots to the back and sends Giant face first into the buckle a few times. A very impressive slam puts Giant down but here’s Stevie Ray with a chair to the back. That’s no sold but Goldberg walks into the chokeslam, only to have DDP make the save. The chokeslam to Page is broken up by a spear and Giant walks out for the countout, making Goldberg 150-0. This was nothing.

The Horsemen are still partying. Benoit is smiling, Flair is dancing, Malenko just calmly raises a beer and nods at the camera.

Nitro Girls again.

Hollywood Hogan/Bret Hart vs. Warrior/Sting

After some LONG intros we’re ready to go. Hogan wants Sting to start and that’s what he gets after Warrior I think blesses the Stinger. As is always the case, Hogan dominates Sting early with right hands but gets taken down by a clothesline and an atomic drop. Hogan tags off to Bret and the stalling commences. Sting pounds him in the corner, drawing in Hogan to allow Bret to low blow Sting to the mat.

Bret goes into his usual offense while Warrior is still in his coat and what looks like jeans on the apron. Hart draws in Warrior to allow a low blow from Hogan followed by some choking. Back to Hart for a DDT for two in one of the only wrestling moves so far. A small package gets Sting a breather but he gets caught in the backbreaker. The middle rope elbow misses though and it’s hot tag Warrior. Three straight clotheslines put Hart down so here’s Hogan to hit him from behind. There’s no effect of course so here’s the NWO for the save and the DQ.

Rating: D-. What else did you really expect here? I like the idea of putting two feuds into one match but it doesn’t mean the match is any good. Warrior was clearly just a vanity project for Hogan and I don’t think anyone believed the match was going to be good. Horrible “wrestling” here.

Post match the NWO throws Warrior to the floor as the smoke fills the ring. Tony: “That way he can’t disappear.” Warrior whips Hogan with the weightlifting belt as the show ends.

Overall Rating: D. And that’s being generous. This show was horrible with WAY too much talking and so much time being wasted on nonsense like the Chucky segment and matches that did nothing of note at all. Goldberg vs. Page disappeared after the first hour until they got another three minutes near the end of the show. You could see the wheels on the verge of falling off, but 1999 was only going to get worse.

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