Monday Nitro – April 28, 1998: More Is Awful

Monday Nitro #138
Date: April 28, 1998
Location: Norfolk Scope, Norfolk, Virginia
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan, Larry Zbyszko

Back with the second and third hours of this week’s show, taped just after the first hour and airing on Tuesday. The main story for tonight is Bret explaining exactly why he helped Hogan win the world title. Other than that nothing has been announced but after all the angle advancement we had last night, odds are tonight will be wrestling heavy. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

The announcers chat for a bit before looking at Bret giving Hogan the title eight days ago.

Disco Inferno vs. Chris Benoit

Benoit stomps away to start and fires off chops and headbutts in the corner. More chops and a hard suplex put Disco down and a hard elbow to the face gets two. Benoit hits a pair of rolling suplexes but Disco blocks the third into an atomic drop to take over. Inferno stomps him down in the corner and gets two off a swinging neckbreaker. Disco hits a middle rope forearm to the back of the head for another near fall and we hit the chinlock. Benoit rolls away from an elbow as the fans are surprisingly interested in this. A release German suplex puts Disco down and the Swan Dive into the Crossface get the submission.

Rating: C-. Not a bad little match here with Benoit looking good. The crowd responded really strong to Benoit and the Crossface which continues to make you wonder why it took so long to push him. Disco is much better in the ring than he’s given credit for as he looked perfectly fine out there.

Video on Jericho’s trophy case run and how the fans are becoming Jericholics.

Cruiserweight Title: Chris Jericho vs. Psychosis

Jericho comes out to Dean Malenko’s music and does a great caricature of Dean, complete with slicked back hair tied in a bun to make it look short and wringing his wrists. He even talks in a deep voice for a second before whining that he wants to go home. Referee Scott Dickinson yells at Jericho until Chris takes the belt off so the match can begin. Jericho takes him down with a shoulder block to start but Psychosis comes back with kicks and chops to take over.

A quick Liontamer attempt is countered into a rollup for two but Jericho elbows him in the face to take over. Some chops and kicks in the corner have Psychosis in trouble and elbow drops are good for two. Jericho’s charge in the corner misses and he falls to the floor, allowing Psychosis to hit a big flip dive to the floor. Back in and Jericho comes right back with a release German suplex but Psychosis breaks up the Lionsault. The guillotine legdrop with Jericho in the ropes is good for two but a top rope Frankensteiner is countered into the Liontamer to retain Chris’ title.

Rating: C-. The high spots were nice here but the ending was a bit sloppy. Psychosis was a good choice as the cruiserweight jobber to the stars as he had enough wins to be viewed as a decent threat but he was never going to win anything of note. Nice match here for the most part but it was nothing special.

Nitro Girls.

Barbarian vs. Rocco Rock

Barbarian throws him into the corner to start and powerslams Rocco down for no cover. Rocco slides through the legs but a middle rope ax handle has no effect. Instead he goes after the legs but Rocco has to beat up Jimmy Hart. Not that it matters as Hugh Morrus sneaks in and lays out Rocco, only to have Johnny Grunge come in to beat up Morrus. The match is made a tag match because the referee has that authority.

Barbarian/Hugh Morrus vs. Public Enemy

It’s a big brawl on the floor with garbage can lids all over the place. They head inside with the weapons brought in as well for good measure. Public Enemy takes over but have to beat up Jimmy Hart again. Morrus sacrifices himself to prevent Hart from being put through a table, allowing Barbarian to kick the can into Grunge’s face for the pin. This was as blatant of an ECW ripoff as you’ll ever see.

We see Savage’s rant against Hart again.

Video on Juventud Guerrera.

Juventud Guerrera vs. Kidman

Kidman gets taken down with a fast headscissors and a dropkick gets two. Juvy loads up a top rope Frankensteiner but Kidman hits him low, setting up a top rope sitout spinebuster for two. Why even use a huge spot like that when it’s not even going to end the match? Kidman misses a slingshot legdrop and Juvy heads to the apron for a springboard spinwheel kick to the face for two. A clothesline puts Juvy down but gets crotched while trying a superplex. Juvy snaps off a hurricanrana for two and the Juvy Driver and 450 are good for the pin.

Rating: C. Another nice match here with Juvy getting to look good against someone that can hang in the ring with him. They’ve done a good job of pushing Guerrera since he lost his match and the Never Surrender idea works pretty well for him. The wrestling has been consistent tonight which is a good sign.

Post match the Flock comes in and lays out Juvy.

Alex Wright talks about being on vacation in Germany but he had to come back to this pigsty to show everyone how to dance. Dancing ensues and security takes Alex away.

TV Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Booker T

Feeling out process to start with the fans all over Eddie. Guerrero snapmares the champion down but runs into a shoulder block to put Eddie on the mat. Back up and Booker kicks him in the head before firing off forearms. Eddie comes back with a dropkick to the knee and a suplex before hitting the chinlock. Guerrero switches over to a camel clutch as the announcers actually talk about the match. Booker gets up and hits the running forearm to the head but Eddie counters the spinebuster into a hurricanrana for two. Eddie stops to yell at Chavo and gets caught with the side kick and the missile dropkick retains the title.

Rating: D+. Nothing special to see here but another win for Booker isn’t going to hurt anyone. The Eddie vs. Chavo story needs to take another step before it gets dull but it’s still doing well enough. I was expecting more out of Booker T vs. Eddie Guerrero than I got here but it wasn’t horrible.

Eddie blames Chavo post match.

Hour #2 begins.

The announcers talk about Bret vs. Savage before showing us part of Bret’s promo from last night.

Marty Jannetty vs. Perry Saturn

Saturn pounds away in the corner and kicks Jannetty in the face. Marty is sent out to the floor and comes back in to a superkick to take him right back down. A belly to belly suplex gets two but Marty comes back with a superkick of his own. The middle rope punch gets two but Saturn hits a Death Valley Driver for the pin. Squash.

Here’s DDP with more to say about Raven. He wants Raven to experience the Big Bang Theory but Raven walked away. Page hasn’t seen Raven tonight but thinks he’s in the building, so come get your bang right now. Instead he gets Kidman and Sick Boy who say don’t kill the messengers. They have a video from Raven with Raven asking about the pain Page put his own family through. He talks about Page’s mom sending him to live with his father at a young age and how he’ll get Page later.

Back in the arena Sick Boy takes a Diamond Cutter as Kidman bails. Page heads into the crowd as Kidman gets back in. A “fan” (Kanyon) comes in and clotheslines Kidman to the floor before being dragged off by security.

Video on Goldberg’s streak.

US Title: Goldberg vs. Jerry Flynn

Jerry kicks him down, butterfly suplex, spear, Jackhammer, pin. That’s 78-0.

Nitro Girls.

Sting/Lex Luger/The Giant vs. Konnan/Brian Adams/Scott Steiner

Konnan jumped to the Wolfpack last night but there’s no indication that Adams and Steiner have joined him. Vincent now has two trophies for Steiner, neither of which have actually been referenced by either guy. Sting and Adams get us going and Konnan drops to the floor for no apparent reason. Adams hits a quick atomic drop for two as Konnan is already back on the apron. Sting escapes a suplex and bulldogs Adams down but can’t hook an early Scorpion.

Adams bails to the floor to kill some time so Sting tags in Giant. Konnan comes in, only to be shoved to the mat with ease. Giant lifts him up in a bearhug before bringing in Luger to get some of this easy prey. Luger wants Steiner and the fans are way into the matchup. Scott wants a posedown but settles for trading shoulder blocks with Luger taking over. A Konnan distraction lets Steiner suplex Luger down and pound away with right hands. Off to Konnan but Luger explodes with a double clothesline to put Steiner and Konnan down. Adams walks out on the match and his partners soon join him for the countout.

Rating: F. This was a waste of time and that’s almost all there is to say about it. The only good thing here was Steiner acting like the crazy man that would finally get him over. I’m not sure if we’re supposed to know who is on which side in the NWO civil war here but it certainly wasn’t clear if we were.

Vincent gets chokeslammed.

Gene calls on Bret for the big explanation. Gene asks Bret why he did what he did and is told to shut up. Bret wants Hogan here in person so Gene invites Hollywood out here now. We’re rapidly running out of time and you can smell the TUNE IN NEXT WEEK finish coming from here. Hogan, Bischoff and Disciple take their sweet time getting to the ring to milk this even further.

Eric insists that Bret address Hogan as Hollywood. Bret says he’s looked up to Hogan for a long time and that Hogan is the highest paid and most recognized wrestler ever. Hogan appreciates Bret for setting the record straight….whatever that means. Bret opens up his jacket to reveal a Hogan shirt but here’s Savage as he’s about to explain. Savage is destroyed to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Decent wrestling in the first hour aside, this fits the WCW profile to the letter: the lower card stuff is entertaining but the stars are boring and you get next to nothing out of them. The big reveal at the end never happened so we still have no idea why Bret did what he did. The longer they wait, the less likely it is that we get an actual explanation. The one hour version, as in the version without the stars, blew this show away and it wasn’t even anything great.

Remember no Thunder this week.

 

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Monday Nitro – April 27, 1998: Less Is More

Monday Nitro #137
Date: April 27, 1998
Location: Norfolk Scope, Norfolk, Virginia
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Larry Zbyszko, Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan

This week is split into two episode instead of the usual three due to the basketball games on TNT. Tonight is one hour followed by a two hour edition tomorrow night. Tonight’s focus will likely be on Bret Hart explaining why he did what he did last week instead of fighting against the NWO like he had talked about doing for weeks. Other than that we’re closing in on Slamboree which already has a pair of matches (Hart vs. Savage and Sting/Giant vs. Outsiders) almost set. Let’s get to it.

The Nitro Girls get us going. Alex Wright tries to sneak in and dance with them but the girls walk away. Wright is taken away by security.

The announcers talk about Sting’s challenge to the Outsiders.

Here are Nash and Savage to open things up. Nash does a Hall impression for the survey, won by WCW. Big Kev says Hall was last seen with a pina colada at Trader Vick’s and his hair looked great. The challenge is accepted for Slamboree. Nash talks about the Wolfpack, which now consists of himself and Savage and their first target is Bret Hart. Savage is ready for Bret because this right here is where it’s at. Nash says there are going to be more defectors, starting with Konnan. Konnan comes out to do his schtick and says that Hogan doesn’t want any part of the Wolfpack. Nash and Konnan sing a bit to end the segment.

Video on Juventud Guerrera, emphasizing that he will never quit.

Cruiserweight Title: Chris Jericho vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.

Jericho comes out with the portrait of Malenko and says he’d love to beat up Quasi-Juice Guerrera like he did when he took this mask, which is a bad mama-jamma of a necklace. Jericho “interviews” the portrait but Dean won’t celebrate being the new fry cook at Harry’s Burgers. Instead Dean can live vicariously through Jericho who is dedicating this match to Dean.

Chavo ducks a right hand and pounds away to start. A belly to back suplex puts and we hit a quick chinlock. Jericho comes back with a quick hot shot and some kicks in the corner but Chavo dropkicks Jericho into Eddie for two. Chavo jumps over Chris in the corner but gets caught in a quick Liontamer for the submission in just over two minutes.

Eddie rips into Chavo for the loss post match and slaps him in the face.

Nitro Party winner from a Gold’s Gym in Indiana.

We go back to Thunder to see the Buff Bagwell injury. Tony and Bobby talk about their own neck surgeries and how scary they can be. Bagwell can indeed move his limbs but had to undergo surgery today and we’ll get an update tomorrow night.

Video of Savage’s rant about Bret Hart on Thunder.

Here are Hogan, Disciple and Bischoff with something to say. Bischoff asks Hogan what’s possibly left for him to do after winning the title again. Hogan says all of his fans know he’s done everything there is to do and he’ll be it all until the end of eternity. We’ve now seen what a joke Nash is and now and there’s no one left for him to beat. If Konnan is the best Nash can find, he’s got a major problem. Hogan goes into a somewhat racist rant about how there are a dozen Konnan’s waiting to go pick fruit in Los Angeles. As for Bret, he knows the power lies with Hollywood because Hogan is for life. Not much to say here.

US Title: Scott Norton vs. Goldberg

Now this is a better idea. Norton jumps him to start, only to get taken down by a spinning neckbreaker. They head to the floor with the champion being sent into the post for almost no effect. Back inside and Norton gets caught in an ankle lock but ropes are quickly grabbed. Norton pounds away in the corner and hits the shoulder breaker for two. A Fujiwara Armbar does nothing for Scott so the spear and Jackhammer retain Goldberg’s title in less than three minutes.

We see Bret beating up Piper to end last week’s show.

The announcers talk about how awesome Bret Hart is with Heenan saying Bret has always been out for himself.

Here’s Bret for the first time since last week with less than four minutes left in the show. Bret says it’s nice to be in the house that Hollywood Hogan built to get the fans against him. He talks about suffering for your crimes, even though he’s committed no crime. Wrestling is a long money trench and a plastic hallway filled with pimps and thieves.

If Savage feels bad about last week, then Bret will meet the “half troll and half lizard” in the ring. Gene again asks him why he helped Hogan but he wants to say it to Hogan’s face tomorrow night. Gene asks why Bret screwed over Savage after complaining about being screwed. Bret calls Gene judgmental and says he’s tired of sitting on the bench before leaving.

Overall Rating: C+. This show is a good example of what’s wrong with three hour Nitros. In 45 minutes of air time, we had two title matches, three promos, angle advancement in multiple stories, two PPV matches confirmed and a new member added to a stable. The other hours that we usually have to sit through don’t need to be there and really don’t add anything significant to the show. More wrestling would have been nice, but this did a solid job of building to Slamboree without overstaying its welcome. That’s a very difficult balance to find but it’s almost impossible to do in a three hour show.

 

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On This Day: September 15, 2003 – Monday Night Raw: Goldberg’s Funeral

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 15, 2003
Location: Carolina Coliseum, Columbia, South Carolina
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

I can understand asking for a 2002 Raw, but 2003? Why would you want to subject yourself to that? I don’t get wrestling fans sometimes. Anyway, this is the go home show for Unforgiven which had a main event of……Goldberg vs. HHH I believe? A check of that would say I’m right, as well as saying that I need to get a life. Let’s get to it.

Eric Bischoff and HHH are in the back and there’s going to be a going away party for Goldberg tonight because HHH is going to destroy him on Sunday.

Theme song. Across the Nation was as good a theme as they’ve ever had.

As the show opens, Jericho and Christian are in the ring with signs demanding that Stone Cold must go. This is an official protest you see. Jericho does the talking and says that Austin is a menace and a horrible GM. Christian says Austin is a joke because he’s keeping Christian off PPVs. They try to start a Stone Cole Must Go chant and here’s Austin. Austin talks about how Jericho slapped him on the back and eventually hurt his feelings. The idea here is that Austin cannot attack anyone unless provoked and he really wants to beat someone up.

Austin says that Christian will be defending on Sunday (that takes about 30 seconds) but doesn’t name an opponent. Instead he’s interested in getting someone to provoke him but as he pulls his fist back, he tells Christian to do it instead. Jericho gets in Austin’s face again and wants the shot at Christian on Sunday. Austin says ok but Jericho has to win the following match first.

Rob Van Dam vs. Chris Jericho

Christian tries to get in a cheap shot but gets kicked down instead. Jericho gets dumped to the floor and taken out by a dive as we take a fast break. Back with Van Dam hitting a forearm and the cartwheel moonsault for two. A standing rana (called a moonsault by JR for some reason) gets two for Van Dam so he goes up, only to be shoved off the top by Christian.

Back in and Jericho puts on a chinlock as the fans chant for RVD. Rob fights up and hits a spinwheel kick and that stepover kick of his followed by Rolling Thunder. A flying kick off the top gets two but Jericho rolls through a monkey flip. The Walls don’t work so Jericho hits a sleeper drop for two. Rob tries a springboard kick but the referee gets kicked in the face. Well of course he does. The Lionsault and Five Star both hit knees so Christian comes in and hits both of them with the title so it’s a draw.

Rating: C. This wasn’t bad but Jericho was really needing to get the to the Trish storyline to get a recharge at this point. Christian would stay at about this level for awhile until he left for TNA for a few years. Van Dam is Van Dam and that’s about all there is to him. The match itself wasn’t bad but it’s nothing we haven’t seen them do way better at other times.

Austin makes it a triple threat. You know, LIKE EVERY OTHER TRIPLE THREAT.

Video of Goldberg beating Hogan on Nitro.

Spike Dudley vs. Rob Conway

Spike is in a neckbrace and his brothers fight the other members of La Resistance into the crowd. Conway hits a neckbreaker and wins in about 20 seconds.

Post match Conway powerbombs Spike through a table before the Dudleys make the save. The Dudleys would win the tag titles Sunday in a handicap tables match.

Coach and Al Snow suck up to Bischoff but he blows them off as some chick from Tough Enough gives him a note saying there are two women here. I have a bad feeling about this. Regarding Snow and Coach, see they’re the Heat commentators and want to be the Raw commentators so there’s a tag match between the two of them and JR/King on Sunday for the Raw commentary job. Somehow WWE isn’t sure why no one liked 2003.

The two women are of course Moolah and Mae. We’re in South Carolina so you knew this was coming. Moolah wants a match for her 80th birthday. Austin pops in and says do it and tells Eric to kiss Moolah for luck. Mae Young is there, so you should know what comes next.

Victoria vs. Fabulous Moolah

Victoria hits both Moolah and Mae, but the distraction of Mae lets Moolah roll her up in thirty seconds. That would be two matches that combined to last less than 60 seconds.

Post match Victoria beats both of them up but Randy Orton comes out to save for some reason. Then he realizes they’re legends and RKO’s Moolah.

Goldust/Lance Storm vs. Mark Henry/Rodney Mack

This is when Storm was “just having fun” and would come to the ring dancing to hip hop music. Whoever asked me to review this show, I’d advise you to NOT REQUEST ANOTHER ONE LIKE THIS. Teddy Long manages the team you would expect him to manage, which may or may not be called Thuggin N Buggin Enterprises. Storm and Mack start things off and the fans chant boring, which is the idea behind Storm’s new character. See, Austin told him he was boring and to get a personality.

Storm takes Mack down but Henry hits him in the back of the head to take over. A splash crushed Storm and it’s off to Goldust who almost immediately gets caught in the World’s Strongest Slam for the pin. This actually broke 1:50, so we’re getting closer to a match that’s actually long enough to rate (even the first match barely was as a lot of that was in a lot of that was in a commercial). This would be Goldust’s last match on Raw for about three years.

Evolution (minus Batista who is recovering from injury) is in the back planning for the party for Goldberg later. Orton has to take care of something and runs into Shawn who he faces Sunday. Orton says Shawn made his career out of being a stepping stone and Sunday, he’s going to use Shawn as a stepping stone. Shawn slaps Randy in the face and says Orton better step hard.

Hurricane tries to teach Rosey to fly. Rosey gets a cab instead.

Molly and Gail Kim say their handicap match tonight with Trish is now No Holds Barred. Sure why not.

Here are Kane and Shane McMahon to sign the contract for their last man standing match on Sunday. Shane says he’s taking Kane down on Sunday and signs. There goes the table and the fight is on. Shane hits Kane low several times and gets in a pair of chair shots. With Kane down, Shane pulls the cover off an announce table at ringside that is apparently only here for this segment (JR and King broadcast from up by the stage at this point). Shane puts Kane on the table and hits the big elbow to drive Kane through it.

Gail Kim/Molly Holly vs. Trish Stratus

No Holds Barred just because. Trish hits a quick double neckbreaker to start and gets down to one on one with Molly. You know, because they have to tag in a no holds barred match. I will say this: Molly is really good looking with black hair. Trish kicks Molly in the face and hits the Stratusphere before it’s off to Gail. Kim takes over with a clothesline and a middle rope legdrop for two. Some heel double teaming allows for a Molly handspring elbow for two. Apparently Molly is Women’s Champion. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Trish rops Molly while trying a spinebuster. The villains double team Trish and the Molly Go Round pins her.

Rating: F. When you hear the words “no holds barred”, you expect more than a generic bad handicap match. The only thing good about this was the girls all looking good, which was the case for most Divas matches back in the day. This division needed a shot in the arm and it needed one in a hurry.

Post match the beating continues and a chair is grabbed, but here’s the returning Lita to make the save. She’s been gone over a year due to a neck injury. If nothing else she looks great in a black bra and tiny shorts.

Post match Gail and Molly are in the back with Eric. Eric says he fired Lita but Austin comes in and says he rehired her. There’s a tag match for Sunday. Gail: “I slept with the wrong general manager.”

Here are Coach and Snow dressed as JR and King respectively. They go to the broken announce table as they’re going to give us a preview of what Raw is like next week. Yeah, THIS is one of the top matches at Unforgiven.

Test vs. Val Venis

Test has Stacy with him as his reluctant love slave or something like that. Test makes Stacy sit down in a chair after hitting Val a few times. Val escapes the pumphandle slam and hits a Blue Thunder Bomb for two. Val loads up the Money Shot but Test kicks the referee into the ropes. There’s the Pumphandle Slam but Stacy pulls Test to the floor. Scott Steiner, Stacy’s alleged savior, comes out to distract Test and Stacy crotches her client on the ropes. Val hits a full nelson slam for the surprise pin. Coach and Snow were very annoying on commentary here. Steiner would turn heel and use Stacy just like Test was soon.

Steiner beats up Test post match but Test gets Stacy before he leaves.

Lawler comes out and asks to fight Snow right now. The match is after a break.

Al Snow vs. Jerry Lawler

Coach and JR are on commentary here as Lawler controls with some very basic stuff. They slug it out and King hits a DDT for two. Snow comes back with a slam but a suplex is countered into a small package for the pin. This was the last match of the show people. This is the main event. Let that sink in.

Coach hits JR before bailing.

Austin runs into Evolution and says HHH is having the Goldberg party by himself.

Here’s HHH for the farewell. He asks the crowd for a Goldberg chant but they’re not interested. We get music and confetti and balloons because this needs to get stupider. HHH says there are no such things as dynasties in wrestling but he’s the one constant. Apparently the one constant isn’t the mic as it goes out yet we can still hear it on TV. With a new mic, HHH shows off a portrait of Goldberg being bloodied by Evolution. This is going nowhere by the way. Now we get VIDEO of the beating! Goldberg finally pops up on screen and says he’ll win the title before coming out and gorilla pressing HHH to end the show.

Overall Rating: F. Despite that TEN MINUTE closing segment, I have zero desire to see either the main event or any of the matches on the show. There are two matches on this show that were long enough to rate: one ended in a draw and one was a no holds barred match that had nothing out of the ordinary. Other than that you have all kinds of stuff like Moolah and Test and the Spike match. Horrible show here and I want nothing to do with Unforgiven or Raw in 2003. Naturally the whole year is on my schedule.

Here’s Unforgiven if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/11/03/unforgiven-2003-i-was-wrong-2002-isnt-the-worst-year-ever-for-wwe/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 2001 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $4 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for just $4 at:




Monday Nitro – April 20, 1998: I Don’t Care If You’ve Heard This One Before

Monday Nitro #136
Date: April 20, 1998
Location: World Arena, Colorado Springs, Colorado
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, Larry Zbyszko

It’s the night after Spring Stampede and some things have changed. To begin with Savage is the new world champion having defeated Sting with the help of Kevin Nash. This of course turned into yet another Hogan story as Hogan tried to keep the title on Sting but Nash helped take it off of him to screw over Hogan who hit Nash with a baseball bat earlier in the night. Other than that Raven won the US Title last night and gets Goldberg as a reward tonight. Let’s get to it.

We open with exclusive footage from after the PPV where Hogan and Disciple jumped Savage and Nash but the NWO B Team came out to prevent Hogan from taking the belt.

Opening sequence.

The announcers talk about the title picture.

Here are Hogan, Disciple and Bischoff to open the show because it’s not like there’s a new world champion who should be opening things up. Bischoff ensures us that he loves Hogan who loves all of you. Hogan says the NWO is for life and thinks Nash and Savage are caught in the river Styx. There’s no escape for Savage tonight because the NWO is watching all the exits.

The fans are all over Hogan to the point where I can barely understand him. Hogan wants to call out Savage tonight and he’ll take care of Nash too. The NWO has split and it’s time to find out who is going to follow whom and if Nash tries to get involved, Hogan will take him apart too.

Goldberg is getting ready.

The announcers talk about what Hogan said while adding nothing new at all.

Here’s Savage for the rebuttal. He’s wants to fight instead of gloat because the only coward here tonight is Hollywood Hogan. The worst kept secret in the world is that he hates Hogan in life and death. See, Hogan has everyone snowed. Hogan’s main goal was to keep Savage from taking over but now his world is crashing down around him.

It was Hogan behind the wheel of the Viper a few weeks ago but now there’s nothing preventing Savage from fighting Hogan tonight. No one can stop him on live TV, including Bischoff, Turner or the big Macho Man in the sky. Savage brings out Nash, calling him the new leader of the NWO. Shouldn’t the new WORLD CHAMPION be the leader?

Here’s Nash, not even in an NWO shirt. He says that this is the end of Hogan’s career because the NWO is no longer his, brother. Tonight Savage is going to be the end of Hogan when he beats him for the title. Nash is coming for Disciple and Bischoff too, because he’s powerbombed Eric before and he’ll do it again.

The announcers talk even more.

Raven says he won’t be #75 for Goldberg because he’s been through pain before.

Nitro Girls. We’re only half an hour into the show before the first match so why not have even more filler?

Gene tells us to call the Hotline for the latest rumors about nothing in particular.

Konnan vs. Chris Adams

Yep, this is what we waited thirty minutes to get to. Adams takes over with some quick suplexes and armdrags Konnan down to counter Konnan’s technical attempts. Another armdrag sends Konnan to the floor for a conference with Vincent. Back in and Konnan hits the low dropkick and a hard clothesline before cranking on the arm. Adams fights up and tries Kofi Kingston’s SOS for two but crashes into the ropes on a cross body attempt. The Tequila Sunrise gets the submission for Konnan.

Rating: D. Nothing to see here as neither guy is anything of note at this point. Konnan is nothing more than a lackey with an accent and Adams is a jobber that most of WCW’s fans likely haven’t heard of. The announcers didn’t help things either by spending the entire match talking about Goldberg. If they want to get back on top in the ratings, this is a strange way of going about it.

Nitro Party video.

Barbarian vs. Wayne Bloom

Barbarian pounds him into the corner to start but Wayne comes back with a clothesline. Jimmy Hart distracts Bloom, allowing Barbie to get the pin off a big boot. Match might have lasted a minute.

Raven says he’s next.

Here’s Chris Jericho, wearing Iaukea’s skirt thing, with a portrait of Dean Malenko. Jericho has some good news and bad news. The bad news is that Malenko is retired, but the good news is he has a job interview at Harry’s Burgers in Tampa. Jericho will give us updates on how the interview goes.

Cruiserweight Title: Chris Jericho vs. Juventud Guerrera

Juvy pounds away in the corner and snaps off a top rope hurricanrana. Off to a quick chinlock but Jericho comes back with a jawbreaker and does his long strut. Juvy avoids a charge to send Jericho to the floor and a big plancha takes Chris down again. Back in and a springboard spinwheel kick gets two. Juvy rolls up Jericho’s body into a DDT for two more as this is incredibly fast paced for the most part. Juvy tries another hurricanrana but gets caught in the Liontamer, eventually passing out from the pain, playing up the Never Surrender idea.

Rating: C+. They packed a lot of action into a three and a half minute match. Juvy continues to be one of the best fliers around and Jericho is more than capable of hanging in there with him when he tries to. It says a lot when you can have a crowd going nuts in the first minute and a half of a match which is exactly what Juvy had them doing here on those near falls.

Jericho: “MY GOD I KILLED JUVY!”

Goldberg is still getting ready.

Hour #2 begins.

US Title: Goldberg vs. Raven

Raven is defending and this is under his rules. He lays the belt out in front of Goldberg and they talk trash, only to have Raven dropkick him down. We head to the floor with Raven being whipped into the barricade to give Goldberg control. Back inside and Goldie puts on a leg lock before superkicking Raven right back to the floor.

Raven grabs a chair and smashes Goldberg in the back to slow him down. There’s the drop toehold onto the chair followed by a reverse chinlock on Goldberg. The big man powers up and no sells a bunch of right hands. There’s the spear but Goldberg has to destroy the Flock. Raven tries to leave but the fans throw him back to ringside. Another spear and a Jackhammer onto a stop sign (brought in by Horace) make Goldberg US Champion.

Rating: C+. Total destruction here by Goldberg which is a good idea, but I don’t know why it had to be at Raven’s expense just one day after he won the title. The guy did some great work with Page and Benoit earlier in the year but now he gets to keep the US Title for a single day? Still though, good, hard hitting match here.

More Nitro Girls.

La Parka vs. Ultimo Dragon

La Parka does his dance to start but Dragon takes him by the arm and sends him down with a flying mare. Dragon avoids a charge into the corner but a spinwheel kick sends him to the floor. La Parka hits a big dive to the floor before throwing on a chinlock back in the ring. A clothesline gets two on Dragon but La Parka goes up top and dives into some boots from Dragon. Eddie Guerrero is dragging Chavo to the ring by the neck as Dragon fires off the kicks. Chavo is forced to shove Dragon off the top, allowing La Parka to hit a twisting body attack off the top for the pin.

Rating: C. This was fine with both guys looking good for the most part and tying it into the Guerrero story could be interesting. It’s a good sign thing to have so many talented guys you can throw out there to have solid matches and giving them a story makes things even better. Nice little match here.

We look at some stills from the main event last night.

Chris Benoit vs. Curt Hennig

Rude jumps in on commentary as is customary anymore. Benoit jumps Hennig as he comes to the ring and goes after Curt’s banged up knee. Hennig tries to take it to the mat which goes about as well as you would expect against Chris Benoit. Rude comes down to ringside as Benoit kicks Hennig’s leg out. Hennig sends Benoit to the floor for a beating from Rude, leaving Benoit out cold. Back in and Hennig loads up the HennigPlex, only to have Benoit counter into the Crossface. Rude comes in for the DQ because the NWO isn’t allowed to lose.

Rude beats up Benoit some more but Booker T makes the save. Benoit yells at Booker for helping him, triggering a fight on the stage.

Come to the Power Plant! You can be told you have no future in the business like Dave Batista!

More stills from the main event.

Here’s Roddy Piper with something to say. Piper sucks up to the University of Colorado a bit while talking about something starting at Spring Stampede tonight. The main event is now No DQ, no one allowed at ringside and they’ll fight until there’s a winner.

More stills from the main event. They’ve pretty much given up on the practice of not saying who wins the PPV matches until the replay was over.

Hammer vs. Perry Saturn

The brawl starts in the aisle with Saturn taking over. Hammer is sent into the steps and we finally head inside. A top rope clothesline puts Hammer down again but he pops up to catch Saturn in a powerslam. Saturn suplexes him down a few times but a Thesz Press is countered into something resembling an Alabama Slam from Hammer. Saturn gets a breather though as Hammer seems to have hurt his knee so a Cactus Clothesline puts both guys on the floor. Instead of going after the knee, Saturn crushes Hammer’s arm between the steps and the post. They fight up the aisle for a countout.

Rating: D. This was more of an angle than a match which barely lasted long enough to be rated. Saturn continues to be awesome with his unique style but he needs something better than Hammer to make this work. They did the right thing by keeping it short though as Saturn’s rebellion against Raven begins.

More stills from the main event. Just show the match already if you’re going to show this many shots from the match.

Hour #3 begins.

The announcers talk even more.

Public Enemy vs. Scott Steiner/Buff Bagwell

Bagwell starts with Grunge and it’s already time to pose. A quick armdrag takes Grunge down and it’s time for the posing strut. Grunge comes back with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker before it’s off to Rocco vs. Steiner. Scott easily throws Rock around but gets caught in a sleeper. A belly to belly suplex gets Scott out of trouble as the slow power offense continues. Rocco comes back with a swinging neckbreaker before it’s back to Buff for some choking.

Back to Grunge who gets caught in a Tree of Woe for choking by Steiner as the offense continues to expand. Buff heads to the floor but gets caught by some double teaming to give Grunge a breather. Everything breaks down with Grunge hitting a double bulldog on the NWO. Buff is laid out on the table but gets up before Rocco can drive him through. Back in and Scott gets up the Recliner but Buff wants the Blockbuster instead for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was pretty dull stuff. At the end of the day Public Enemy wasn’t a very interesting team because they didn’t have much to offer in WCW besides the table stuff. Scott continues to seem tentative at best on offense instead of being a killing machine like he was in the early days of the Steiner Brothers which made him a star.

Nitro Girls.

TV Title: Psychosis vs. Booker T

Booker takes him down with a back elbow and it’s off to an early armbar. A clothesline and some chops have Psychosis in trouble but he comes back with a dropkick to the chest and one to the leg for good measure. Psychosis gets two off a top rope spinning body attack and we hit the chinlock. Back up and Booker hits a knee to the ribs to stop Psychosis cold. Booker’s knee drop misses so Psychosis wraps the knee around the post to keep him down. Not that it matters as Booker pops up and hits the snap spinebuster. The flapjack sets up a sidekick and the missile dropkick retains the title.

Rating: D+. This felt like they were trying to fill in nine minutes instead of having an entertaining and competitive match. I didn’t leave much out of the match and it somehow ran over nine minutes. There was nothing to see here and they didn’t even let Psychosis fly around the ring all that much. Also Booker completely ignored the knee work near the end which made it even worse.

Bryan Adams vs. Lex Luger

Feeling out process to start with Luger ducking right hands and scoring with an atomic drop. Lex pounds away in the corner and clotheslines Adams down a few times. A third clothesline puts Bryan on the floor and Luger suplexes him back in, only to have a splash (from Luger?) hit knees. Adams gets two off a gorilla press but Luger comes back with a neckbreaker, expanding his moveset yet again. A powerslam puts Adams down, drawing in Vincent for a torture rack. Konnan comes in and gets a rack of his own but there’s still no DQ. Luger drops Konnan and hits a running clothesline on Adams for the pin.

Rating: D-. This was even less interesting than the previous match with Adams and Luger doing nothing of note for the entire match. I have no idea why Adams is getting this prominent of a role but he’s not showing he deserves it. This show is really dragging before the main event and I doubt Hogan vs. Savage is going to raise the bar very much.

The announcers talk about how great the main event will be.

WCW World Title: Hollywood Hogan vs. Randy Savage

No DQ. Hogan threatens to use his Viper to make Savage a speed bump after winning the title. We get the required stalling to start as Hogan hides behind Disciple, ignoring Piper’s statement that no one would be allowed at ringside. Hogan slowly gets in and is taken down by an early shoulder block. After even more stalling Hogan comes back with right hands and some rakes to various body parts. Savage gets choked in the corner by both Hogan and Disciple and a belly to back suplex gets two for the challenger.

We head to the floor for some chair shots to Savage’s….knee I think but it also grazed the shoulder. Hogan pounds away against the barricade before head head back inside. Savage gets in some right hands of his own but injures his knee while kicking Hogan in the ribs. Take notes Booker. Hogan goes after the leg for a few moments but Savage gets in a low blow. He’s too beaten down to follow up so we head to the floor again.

Nothing happens there so it’s back inside for some choking with the weightlifting belt. Savage is reeling and there’s the slam to set up the leg drop but the champion rolls away. Now Savage gets the weightlifting belt and whips Hogan to the biggest reaction of the last hour and a half. Savage slams him down and drops the elbow but the knee prevents him from covering.

Off to a spinning toe hold into a figure four by Hogan to make Savage scream. The fans immediately turn to the entrance to look for the interference a funny moment. Savage makes the rope pretty easily as Dusty Rhodes would have laughed at how badly Hogan had the hold on.

Randy gets up and throws the referee down so he can choke Hogan even more. Disciple comes in for the Stunner on Nick Patrick and goes after Savage’s knee. The fans look to the entrance again but no one is coming yet. Savage’s knee is wrapped around the post and there’s a Stunner with the belt on Disciple’s shoulder.

Now we get Kevin Nash but Bischoff follows him and grabs his leg, allowing Hogan and Disciple to beat Nash down. Hogan’s belt shot hits Nash in the head and Nash jackknifes Hollywood. He drapes Savage on Hogan but here’s Bret Hart to hit Nash with the belt and put Hogan on top of Savage for the pin and the title.

Rating: D-. Where do I even start? We’ll go with the obvious: the match wasn’t all that good. It went on longer than it should have, though to be fair Hogan going after the knee made sense so there was a basic story being told out there. Other than that though, there wasn’t anything good going on.

To begin with, we had three interferences after Piper guaranteed none. Obviously Piper was watching the match but he didn’t do anything about his rules being broken, making him look like an inept figurehead. Granted that might be better than being a crazy rambling psycho who made no sense whatsoever.

Then after all that there’s the booking. We have two stupid points here. Bret’s turn is the easier one to deal with. No it makes no sense, but there’s still a chance to fix things later on with an explanation. At the end of the day though, there was no build to the turn, no teasing of anything, it goes against everything Bret and Hogan have been saying for weeks and it’s not like Bret has been doing anything of note leading up to the match anyway which takes away from the turn a bit.

Then there’s the bigger problem: Hogan as champion AGAIN. He’s held the title for nearly last year and a half save for five days. The idea has been done, but we get to see it yet again for no apparent reason whatsoever. The fans were going nuts for Savage and then just died for the title change. WCW’s fans were tired of Hogan because it’s the same thing they’ve seen for nearly four years now. Is it any wonder why the people changed the channel over to Raw to see something fresh like Austin on top?

The show isn’t quite over.

Piper finally comes out to yell at Bret as there are four bodies piled up on the mat. Bret decks Piper to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. Nitro continues on the same track as always: some decent stuff but the NWO nonsense drags it down. At the end of the day, people are sick of Hogan and whatever he has going on at the moment. Nash vs. Hogan could be interesting, but we’re almost two years into the NWO era now and while they’re splitting up, it’s just putting even more focus onto them. Now on the other side we have Goldberg who is finally pushed up to a higher level and given something of note. There’s good stuff hidden under all the nonsense here but there’s way more nonsense than good.

The next week of shows are kind of weird. Thunder is on Wednesday this week and next week Nitro will be split in two. Monday will have an hour long show and Tuesday will have two hours, I believe due to basketball. I’ll be reviewing both Nitros at once.

 

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Monday Nitro – August 17, 1998: An Old Painted Face

Monday Nitro #150
Date: August 17, 1998
Location: Hartford Civic Center, Hartford, Connecticut
Attendance: 12,655
Commentators: Larry Zbyszko, Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone

This was requested a long time ago so I’m not sure why someone wanted to see it. We’re a little over a week after Road Wild 1998 where, believe it or not, the world champion Goldberg didn’t main event the show because Hogan was in a tag match with a celebrity. The company is starting to reel from the Attitude Era but tonight may be their answer if my memory is correct. Let’s get to it.

Here’s the NWO, led by Hogan and Bischoff, to open things up. Giant is part of the NWO again at this point too. Hogan says all the fans here are NWO Black and White fans because this is the house that Hollywood built. He’s sick of all the games with the media and dealing with all those lower level guys. Instead he wants Goldberg right here tonight in the middle of the ring because there is NO ONE he hasn’t beaten and no one he can’t beat. The fans chant Goldberg as Hogan says Giant will take out Goldberg and hand him the title tonight.

Opening sequence which is still the same as it was at the beginning of the year. Even the Steiner Brothers are still in it.

JJ Dillon talks about the very stupid WarGames this year which is a three team, nine man format because the greatest gimmick match of all time needed to be tweaked. Dillon announced Hogan, DDP and Nash as the captains for the three teams. There are three men to start, every two minutes there’s a three way coin toss and the person who earns the fall (which can be a pin this year) gets a title shot at Halloween Havoc.

We get a clip from Saturday Night with Dean Malenko wanting to reform the Horsemen.

Nitro Girls.

Nitro Party winner. Is there any wrestling coming anytime soon?

Steve McMichael vs. Sick Boy

The announcers spend the first minute or so running down Raw for the night because it was taped weeks in advance and their world title match only runs about ten seconds tonight. That’s likely because it’s two weeks before Summerslam and the WWF isn’t stupid enough to air a long title match that close to their second biggest show of the year. Mongo shoves Sick Boy to the apron but gets his neck snapped across the top rope. Sick Boy fires off some right hands and gets two off a slam.

A dropkick puts Mongo down for the same as the announcers talk about Saturn vs. Raven at Fall Brawl with the future of the Flock on the line. Sick Boy hits a clothesline as this is almost a squash so far. They slug it out from their knees with Sick Boy maintaining control but barely being able to get Mongo up for a suplex. Mongo gets in a shot to the ribs and a three point shoulder block followed by the tombstone for the pin.

Rating: C-. I miss the days when Mongo was nowhere to be seen. You know something? I don’t think I’ve ever seen a bad Sick Boy match. The guy looks smooth out there and very confident in what he does in the ring but after the Flock broke up he was more or less gone for good. Then again it’s WCW so it’s not like he would have been pushed anyway.

Here’s DDP with something to say. He’s the captain for Team WCW at Fall Brawl so he went out west to recruit his first teammate. This man wants to take out Hogan as much as Page does and Hogan has never beaten him. Page doesn’t name the guy before starting to talk about the NWO beating Page down before his US Title match with Bret Hart.

This brings out US Champion Bret (in a Hogan shirt) to say quick complaining and win or lose like a man. Page says back up of him Jack because he wants a match with Hart tonight. Bret lists off a bunch of guys that he’s crippled and put on the shelf, but Page is the scum of the earth so he’ll give Page the title shot tonight.

Gene brings out Raven for a chat but before anything can be said, Horace Hogan comes out with a stop sign. He says he’s watched Raven’s back for four months but hasn’t gotten anything in return for it. For the last two weeks he’s beaten Raven up but he wants one more match.

Raven says fine as long as it’s a tag match where he can pick the partners. Horace will have Kanyon and Raven gets Saturn because Saturn needs to get used to being subservient to him. Saturn and Kanyon come out with Saturn calling Raven crazy. He changes his mind a few seconds later because he wants to smack Raven when he comes over for a tag. JJ Dillon comes out to stop this interesting idea. The tag match can happen, but if Saturn tries to attack Raven, he’s gone for 90 days. Also the match must end by pinfall or submission.

High Voltage vs. Alex Wright/Disco Inferno

Wright is quickly taken to the mat by a wristlock and a belly to belly suplex. Tony rips on Raw again by saying WCW will give you action you want to see here tonight. So far we’ve seen Steve McMichael vs. Sick Boy and this classic. You might want to try that one again Schiavone. Off to Disco who is thrown around as well but here’s Meng to attack Wright because Meng is a monster.

A referee and a security guard get Death Grips as well. They finally mace him to no effect at all.

Eddie Guerrero is scheduled for a match against Konnan but he comes out with a bag and a cup of coffee. He says don’t go to a commercial or he’ll say this on another show. Eddie wants to talk to Eric Bischoff about business, but if this is the only way to get his attention then so be it. Eddie has been unappreciated for a year despite giving the best effort he can.

All of the young talent in WCW is held down for the sake of the people on top of the company. The fans are loudly booing. Eddie says he hasn’t done this for the sake of Chavo and his children and pours coffee on himself, referencing a meeting where Eric allegedly threw coffee on him (in his book Eddie said that it was actually Eric accidentally spilling the coffee on a table and it landed on Eddie). This would eventually lead to the LWO. I’m sure we’ll get Eddie vs. Konnan later though, because WCW would NEVER bait and switch us like that other company that WCW has spent the first hour running down.

Hour #2 begins.

Kanyon/Horace vs. Saturn/Raven

Raven and Saturn get in an argument before the bell but agree to get inside. Saturn and Kanyon get things going but Raven tags himself in, nearly triggering another brawl. The tag doesn’t count for some reason so Kanyon tries a fisherman’s suplex on Saturn, only to get caught in a belly to belly suplex. Off to Horace who catches Saturn in a bad looking flapjack, giving Kanyon a two count.

Kanyon stomps away in the corner and gets two off a backbreaker. In a surprise, Raven crotches Kanyon on the top to save Saturn as the Raw bashing continues. Raven comes in and rolls some Russian legsweeps on Kanyon but doesn’t cover. Back to Saturn for some kicks in the corner before Raven brings in a chair.

Kanyon is sat on the middle rope and Raven loads up a Diamond Cutter onto the chair (Tony: “Looked like a bulldog or a DDT.” So not only does he brag about how AMAZING WCW’s main event will be but he doesn’t recognize the most over move in the company for the last year and a half.) but Kanyon shoves Raven into the chair instead. Off to Horace who is only here to beat up Raven. A powerslam gets two for Hollywood Hogan’s nephew as Saturn makes the save.

Everything breaks down and Saturn and Raven are thrown into each other. Horace splashes both guys in the corner and Saturn does the Sting falling low blow spot. A powerbomb/neckbreaker combo gets two on Saturn and Kanyon spikes him down with a reverse electric chair (meaning Saturn was dropped face first off Kanyon’s shoulders). Horace brings in the stop sign but blasts Kanyon by mistake, allowing Saturn to hit the Death Valley Driver on Horace for the pin.

Rating: C+. This was a better match than I was expecting though more dissension between Raven and Saturn would have helped a bit. Kanyon continues to be solid in the ring with a bunch of nifty moves but Horace on the other hand was as generic of a big man as you could ask for. Still though, good stuff here.

The Flock comes in post match and Raven DDTs Saturn. He tells the Flock to get Saturn up but Kidman pulls Raven off of him, earning a DDT of his own. Horace gets a DDT as well.

Here’s the NWO Black and Red (the Wolfpack) with something to say. The Wolfpack is Nash, Konnan, Sting (looking like a lobster in red paint) Luger and Savage (injured at the moment). They’re the cool NWO and formed a few months ago because if there was one thing missing in WCW, it was a face NWO team. Sting talks about WarGames coming up and how much he’d love to be involved again. Konnan does his usual schtick before Nash talks about how great it is to be in Connecticut. If you’re not part of the Wolfpack, prepare to be hunted by the Pack…and that’s it.

Scott Norton vs. Scott Putski

Putski is wearing a long coat that makes him look like a pirate. Norton chops him in the corner to start but Putski comes back with a neckbreaker. A Vincent distraction lets Norton snap off a powerslam and a powerbomb ends Putski in less than a minute.

Here’s the Black and White with something else to say. Hogan loves the new WarGames rules because he can take care of all the garbage at one time. Nash is a turncoat and Page is a creep who doesn’t follow the rules. Bischoff is the boss around here and the man that brings in the new talent, even though there’s no one Page could bring in that Hogan can’t handle. There go the lights and it’s time for the reveal of DDP’s surprise partner.

A voiceover says something about destruction and someone walks out but we can’t see who it is. The lights come up and it’s the Ultimate Warrior (just called the Warrior here). Hogan immediately panics because he thought Warrior was dead. A LOUD Warrior chant comes up as Warrior asks who holds the power now. Warrior stands there for awhile before saying people anticipated his arrival. Hogan offers him the NWO shirt off his back but Warrior says it doesn’t smell good.

Warrior talks about how wrestling has tried to recreate something which is recreateable with Hogan at the figurehead. Those sort of things are irreplaceable and Hogan must realize that right now. Warrior pauses for about thirty seconds after each sentence. The fans chant that Hogan sucks but Warrior wants to tell him something he doesn’t know. Warrior talks about history teaching us things but Hogan has misplaced pieces of his history. He mentions that Hogan never beat the Warrior, which brings up an interesting point.

On Warrior’s WWE DVD, Hogan said this was the ultimate no-no. Why? Some of the biggest matches of all time, including the most watched match in American history, have been rematches. Are we supposed to say Warrior lost the match? Also remember that Page brought it up earlier in the show and flat out said it instead of implying it like Warrior did (Warrior said Hogan never beat him, not that he beat Hogan). Earlier Hogan mentioned wanting to get his belt back from Goldberg. Are we supposed to forget that Hogan lost his only match against Goldberg? I never got why this was such a big deal in Hogan’s mind.

Anyway Warrior says he defeated the undefeatable and conquered the unconquerable because while Hogan was great, Warrior was Ultimate. After talking for about ten minutes, Warrior introduces himself to Disciple, saying that must be Hogan’s barber. I believe that’s the first actual confirmation that it’s Brutus Beefcake. Bischoff says Warrior knows who he is and Warrior says if Bischoff gets involved, it will lead to his demise. Also Warrior is going to send him a bill for something that isn’t specified.

Warrior talks about destiny and waiting for the next superhero. Hogan has been rationalizing adolescent behavior and embodies intolerable evil. Warrior isn’t here to beat Hogan up because everyone has already beaten Hogan up. Nice line there. Next week Warrior is going to launch a revolution that not even Hogan can control. That’s next week, same Warrior time, place and channel. Seriously he said that. Smoke fills the ring and Warrior disappears.

This went on FOREVER and easily could have been cut in half to get the same point across. Between Warrior’s incessant pauses, the repeating the same stuff in different terms over and over and talking to Bischoff about bills, this could have been cut down to about six or seven minutes instead of the fifteen that it took. Also it’s more of the same idea for WCW: take something that was a big deal a long time ago and try to get something more out of it. Yes it would work short term, but it was shown to not work in the long term.

More Nitro Girls. Tony is only pretty sure that the Warrior was DDP’s shocker.

Dean Malenko vs. Curt Hennig

This has potential. Curt bails to the floor and we take our second break in about two and a half minutes. Back with Dean pulling Hennig into the ring but Curt taking it right back to the floor to beat on Malenko. Back in and Dean goes off with forearms in the corner, only to be taken down by a clothesline. Hennig cranks on the neck but Dean backdrops Curt down.

A snapmare gets two for Malenko but he runs into a boot in the corner. The HennigPlex is countered with knees to the ribs and Dean suplexes Curt a few times. Tony rips on Raw’s main event again as Hennig escapes the Cloverleaf. A Rude distraction and a shot to the back sets up the HennigPlex to end Dean a few seconds later.

Rating: D. I expected WAY more from these two. They never got out of first gear here and seemed perfectly happy going like that for about five minutes. It’s nice that Dean is back after being gone for a few months in the spring, but Curt seems to be doing exactly what he was doing back in April. That’s not a good sign at all.

Hour #3 begins.

Here are Buff Bagwell, Scott Steiner (with literally half of his body in bandages) and some frumpy old woman. Scott talks about Rick hitting him in the elbow last week, and everyone knows that the elbow bone is connected to the shoulder which is connected to the neck bone, and that’s why his knee hurts. Steiner’s doctor, who is apparently a man, says that Scott is indeed hurt. Scott can’t hold his arm up so clearly he can’t face Rick at Fall Brawl. This brings out Rick who says he wants the match so Scott says he’ll do it at Fall Brawl. The team split up six months ago and we’re still waiting on the match?

Nitro Girls part 3.

TV Title: Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Chris Jericho vs. Stevie Ray

Chavo has gone nuts and has a stick horse named Pepe for a friend. Jericho is TV Champion after beating Stevie, who became champion after Booker T couldn’t defend the title due to injury and allegedly gave Stevie power of attorney to defend the title. At least I think that’s what happened as the announcers don’t sound entirely sure. One fall to a finish here with Jericho throwing Chavo into Stevie to start. Jericho bails out to the floor so Stevie throws Guerrero on top of him in a nice power display.

Chavo comes back in with a high cross body for two on Stevie but now Jericho wants to hook up with Guerrero. A running forearm and middle rope bulldog get two on the champion but now Ray lifts Chavo into the air again, only to have Jericho break it up for two. Ray takes them both down with a double clothesline but the smaller guys come back with a double suplex.

Chris and Chavo hit a double missile dropkick from the same corner but Jericho breaks up Guerrero’s cover on Ray. Ray runs over the referee but knocks Jericho out with a blackjack. Guerrero puts a sleeper on Stevie Ray but here’s Giant to chokeslam Stevie, which apparently is what gave Jericho the title in the first place. Chavo gets up but staggers out of the ring. Jericho gets to his feet….and wins by countout because Ray can’t get up? Uh….sure, but why not just have Jericho cover the unconscious Stevie for the pin?

Rating: D+. Bizarre ending, bizarre booking and unexplained interference aside, there were a few decent spots in here to carry things. This is a good example of how watching all of the shows coming up to this could have helped out a lot. Chavo getting to show personality is definitely a good thing though as he’s very talented but didn’t have the character to back it up.

US Title: Bret Hart vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Bret is defending, having traded the title with Lex Luger over the last week. Page gets a quick two off a belly to belly but Bret bails to the floor to avoid a Diamond Cutter. DDP follows him to the floor and pounds away, sending Bret into the barricade. Back in and Page fires off elbows in the corner and gets two off a suplex. Page goes to the corner to rain down right hands but Bret hits him low.

The referee must have been following a piece of lint in the air because it was right in front of him but Bret wasn’t even admonished. Bret drops Page face first onto the buckle to take over even more as momentum shifts. Hart rakes the eyes across the top rope ala Arn Anderson but Page grabs a quick small package for two. We hit the Five Moves of Doom with the elbow getting two. A hard whip into the corner puts Page down again and a good looking piledriver gets two on Page.

DDP pops right up and pounds away on Bret in the corner before taking him down with a discus lariat. A top rope clothesline gets a near fall on the champion and the Pancake gets the same. The referee gets pumped and Bret pulls out a foreign object to blast Page in the head. Then in a bizarre moment, for some reason he puts the object in Page’s tights and drags Page on top of himself but kicks out at two.

The Sharpshooter goes on, Page slaps the mat on three separate occasions (as in three sets of taps) and shakes his head up and down but the referee does nothing at all. Page grabs the rope for the break and grabs a Diamond Cutter out of nowhere. The referee does his job for the first time all match by noticing Bret’s foot being under the rope. Bret claims that Page hit him with something so the referee checks him, only to find the object for the DQ. We’ll ignore that the referee had a completely unobstructed view for the last several minutes and would have seen Page hit Hart or put it back in his tights.

Rating: B-. Good match here but the strange booking brought it down. The ending makes sense given the setup, but the setup made no sense. I get that Bret put the object there as a safety net, but why not just pin Page when he was knocked out? Also there were way too many instances here with the referee coming off like an idiot. These two had good chemistry together but I don’t remember a match between them not being overbooked.

More Nitro Girls, this time with the WCW version of Wrestling Buddies.

WCW World Title: Goldberg vs. The Giant

Tony bashes Raw again, saying they’re going to give the fans what they advertised, unlike their competitors. Giant has Disciple with him. Goldberg’s music hits and the fake chants pipe in. I rarely notice those so they must be really bad here. Buffer introduces Goldberg as the unified WCW/NWO World Champion.

Giant charges at him in the corner to start and slams Goldberg down, only to have Goldberg pop up and slam Giant right back. Giant clubs him down again and hits a quick Russian legsweep for no cover. Goldberg is sent to the floor but has to knock out Disciple. The champion posts Giant but the big man is able to suplex Goldberg in from the apron, only to have Goldie pop right back up. The spear connects but Disciple comes in for the DQ.

Rating: C-. It was indeed longer than ten seconds, but the whole thing didn’t even last four minutes. If I’m WCW, I’d have a bigger match than that if I was going to spend almost three hours bragging about how good it was going to be. This is like a kid bragging that he got a D on a paper when his friend got an F. Goldberg’s power moves were impressive but there was nothing to the match at all. Two straight DQ finishes didn’t help things either.

Goldberg spears Disciple down and hits him with the Jackhammer but Scott Hall comes in to beat the champion down. Nash comes in for the save, takes out Giant and pulls Hall off of Goldberg, only to take a spear meant for Scott. Nash basically no sells it and stares Goldberg down to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a pretty entertaining show all around, but there are some big problems and you can see them coming soon. The Warrior idea is a Band-Aid and nothing more. Yeah it might have gotten them a quick boost, but even WCW had to know this wasn’t going to be a long term solution.

At the end of the day, this is the Hulk Hogan Show, not Nitro. Look back at Page’s promo. He isn’t bringing Warrior in to help him win the title or to help WCW win WarGames. Page brought Warrior in to help him get Hogan. Hogan has lost to Sting and Goldberg in the last eight months and it rolls off of him. Nothing ever changes with him and he just keeps rolling along. How is that interesting TV? Good show, but not for the main stories as usual.

 

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Thunder – April 16, 1998: Bret Hart….In A Match?

Thunder
Date: April 16, 1998
Location: Fargodome, Fargo, North Dakota
Commentators: Lee Marshall, Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan

It’s the final show before Spring Stampede and by now the news has broken that Nitro lost in the ratings on Monday for the first time in nearly two years. It should be interesting to see if things change up at all tonight to try to right the ship. Other than that tonight is going to be the final push for the PPV, meaning more NWO whether anyone likes it or not. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the main event from Nitro with Bret Hart cleaning house to save Sting.

NWO video on Buff Bagwell, showing him looking in a mirror.

Buff Bagwell vs. Rick Steiner

Rick throws his collar around to get Vincent off the apron before scaring Buff to the floor as well. Buff armdrags him down and poses so Rick punches him in the face. An atomic drop and a clothesline put Buff on the floor as Lee wonders who brought Scott Steiner to the NWO. Didn’t we cover that like months ago? Back in and Buff pounds away at Rick’s head, which actually has an effect. Buff’s middle rope ax handle is caught in mid air and Rick throws him around a few times. Rick loads up the bulldog but here’s Scott Steiner to shove him off the top for the DQ.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here with the whole match existing tos et up something else at Spring Stampede. They’ve been pushing this battle of the Steiners for months now but there’s no sign of the actual showdown coming. Then again why bother pursuing a match that could be a big deal and bring in some money when you can keep pushing Buff Bagwell?

Hogan is amused at Savage’s injuries and is ready to take the title back from Sting soon.

Here’s Nash with something to say. He’s tired of hearing Hogan talking about how amazing he is because Hogan is afraid. Nash should be champion right now and would be if not for Hogan and then Hart interfering in his title shots. Bret made a huge mistake by messing with Nash on Monday and Hart will be dealt with. Back to Hogan: if he doesn’t do what he’s supposed to do on Sunday, Nash will drive a stake through his heart. He’s ready for Giant and Piper and tonight he’s ready for Sting and Bret with Savage as his partner. Just hyping up the big tag matches here.

We get the same video on Goldberg from Nitro.

Goldberg vs. Barry Darsow

Goldberg vs. Saturn is official for Sunday. Barry tries to match power with Goldberg and is easily run over and thrown into the corner. Heenan: “This could be a very hair raising experience for Barry Darsow.” Darsow is bald if that clears anything up. Barry sends him over the top and out to the floor but Goldberg comes right back in with the spear. The Jackhammer makes it 73 in a row.

We get the same video on Page vs. Raven from Nitro.

Here’s JJ Dillon to say that the winner of Page vs. Raven has to defend the US Title against Goldberg on Monday night. I’m jumping the gun a bit here but that means that both of Goldberg’s title shots this year have been announced four days in advance. You would think he’d get more hype than that.

TV Title: Booker T vs. Rick Fuller

Booker fires off kicks and forearms to start, only to run into a powerslam from the much bigger Fuller. Fuller slams him down again but misses a charge into the corner and walks into a spinebuster. The ax kick and side kick set up the missile dropkick to retain Booker’s title. Squash for the most part.

Recap of Hogan vs. Nash, despite them not being opponents anytime soon.

Tony announces Scott Steiner/Buff Bagwell vs. Lex Luger/Rick Steiner at the PPV. Scott Steiner comes out to say he and Buff aren’t showing up because his parents don’t want to see him fight his brother.

Chris Benoit vs. Scott Norton

Benoit pulls Vincent to the floor for some chops before going in and being chopped down by Norton. A few elbow drops have Benoit in trouble and a slam puts him down again. Benoit comes back with some chops but Norton just punches him down with no selling at all. A splash in the corner crushes Benoit and a shoulder sends him all the way to the floor.

Benoit avoids a charge into the post but Norton is back inside first and still in control with a powerslam. Chris escapes a shoulder breaker and takes Norton down with two German suplexes. Norton charges into the post and gets caught in the Crossface, only to have Vincent come in for the DQ immediately.

Rating: D+. What’s the point in Benoit even being out there if Norton won’t sell a single bit of his offense? Norton went into the post twice, both off his own power, and still wouldn’t stay down. Also for the thousandth time or so, WHY CAN SCOTT NORTON NEVER LOSE A CLEAN FALL??? Benoit is going into a PPV title match but can only get a DQ win over Norton because…..I’m thinking Scott Norton has photos of Eric Bischoff smoking crack while wearing women’s lingerie and shoving an old lady down a flight of stairs.

Post match Booker comes in for the save but gets shoved down for his efforts.

Here’s Giant with Piper on his shoulders and something to say. Giant steps over the top rope with Piper still on his shoulders. That’s rather impressive. Piper rambles on and on as he is known to do. His odd line of this promo: “What’s the opposite of Big Sexy? Pee Wee Herman?” Piper gets off Giant’s shoulders and pretends he’s a tiger that has to be tamed. He spends the next minute and a half or so saying he and Giant will win. Piper: “We’ll bring the bat, you bring the balls.” Again, someone keep Piper away from live mics. Please?

Curt Hennig vs. Super Calo

Rude is on commentary as usual. Curt easily takes Calo down and hits a quick Hennig Necksnap for no cover. Calo avoids a charge in the corner and gets one off a quick missile dropkick. Curt will have none of that and stomps Calo down before ending him with the Hennigplex. Squash.

Cruiserweight Title: Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Chris Jericho

During the entrances, Tony rants about how WCW delivers the matches they promise, in reference to Austin vs. McMahon not happening. I would say I remember Ric Flair talking about that last week, but he never showed up as advertised. Chavo pounds away to start, only to get kicked in the ribs and suplexed down for two. Jericho charges into a boot in the corner and gets clotheslined down for two as well as Chavo stays in it. An atomic drop sets up a rollup for two more on Jericho but he trips Guerrero up and hooks an early Liontamer. Chavo crawls over to the ropes but Eddie slaps his hand away twice, forcing Chavo to tap out.

After the quick match, Iaukea comes out with the scale from last week to knock Jericho off of Chavo. They fight to the back, leaving Eddie and Chavo alone in the ring. Uncle Eddie calms Chavo down and says that if Chavo beats Jericho on Sunday, he’s free. Chavo is facing Ultimo Dragon on Sunday but at least there’s a story to the match now.

Here are Hogan, Bischoff and Disciple with something to say. After Eric sucks up to Hogan for awhile, he talks about realizing what he had when Hogan came to WCW in 1994. Hogan runs down Savage and Nash and understands why they’re both jealous of him. He brags about the 3 Ninjas movie and being on the Tonight Show before saying he should get the next world title shot because he’s just that awesome. Nothing much to see here and he didn’t even mention his opponents for Sunday.

Here’s JJ with something to say. First of all, Goldberg will receive his first major title shot this Monday on Nitro. This confirms one of two things: either the TV Title, which Goldberg had a shot at last year, isn’t a major title or WCW doesn’t remember matches that happened five months ago. Also, due to Savage’s injuries, there might have to be a replacement in the world title match. The options would be either DDP, Nash or Hogan. JJ says Savage can wrestle on Sunday if he has a doctor’s clearance, but tonight he just can’t be wearing a cast.

This brings out Savage to say that JJ should be outside watching for red and yellow Vipers that are running over people. JJ says there’s no concrete evidence as to who attacked Savage so he needs a doctor’s clearance and no cast on Savage’s arm. Savage says he’s getting the title shot on Sunday no matter what.

Giant vs. Bryan Adams

Nothing match as Giant shrugs off Adams’ offense (including Adams going up top and just falling off) and kicks him in the face, only to have Vincent run in to break up the chokeslam and draw the DQ.

Post match the B team comes in but gets destroyed as well.

Video on Raven.

Silver King vs. Perry Saturn

Saturn side steps a fast dropkick and hits a running elbow in the corner, only to get caught in a tornado DDT. Saturn avoids a charge in the corner and superplexes King down before the Rings of Saturn gets the submission.

Video on Diamond Dallas Page.

Page says to say he’s ready for Raven but thinking about fighting Goldberg gets him even more jacked up. Goldberg and his buddy Jack Hammer has been running through WCW and Page wants to know if Goldberg can be banged. He’s getting his belt back on Sunday, but the fans are oddly silent during this entire speech.

Sting/Bret Hart vs. Randy Savage/Kevin Nash

Tony goes off about how they’ll deliver what they promised no matter what. Savage has the cast on, despite JJ saying he couldn’t wear one tonight. Bret and Savage get things going but Nash comes in before any contact is made. Nash and Bret pound each other into the corner with Nash hammering Bret in the back to take over. There’s the foot choke in the corner but Nash charges into a boot in the opposite corner.

Bret clotheslines Nash down and fires off right hands before bringing in the world champion. Savage gets the tag and is put in the Scorpion about ten seconds later. Nash pulls Randy out to the floor for a long stall before it’s Bret vs. Nash again. Bret escapes Snake Eyes by shoving Kevin into the corner, only to be punched in the face for his efforts. There’s the side slam but Hart avoids the elbow, only to have Savage break up the Sharpshooter.

Nash puts on a sleeper of all things but Bret suplexes his way to freedom. A double tag brings in Savage and Sting but Nash breaks up the Stinger Splash as everything breaks down. Nash and Bret fight to the floor and the Stinger Splash hits Savage’s cast. Savage goes up for the elbow and waits forever until Hogan and Disciple run in for the DQ because why would a world title match need story development?

Rating: D. This was the usual lazy main event match from all parties involved. Savage being injured excuses his lack of effort but the other three guys just looked bored out there. To be fair though Bret has nothing to do, Sting is the lamest of all lame duck champions and Nash is Nash so why bother trying at all?

Post match Hogan goes after Savage’s bad arm but Nash makes the save to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This is a strange one to grade as the show did a good job of building up to Spring Stampede, but Spring Stampede is one of the least interesting shows in a long time. Why they don’t just do Nash vs. Hogan is beyond me, but I’d guess neither guy was willing to do a job for whatever reason they always gave. The show had its moments but the NWO drags it down as usual.

Here’s Spring Stampede if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/09/07/spring-stampede-1998-2013-redo-here-lies-1997-we-hardly-knew-ye/

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews, and pick up my new book of Complete 2001 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $4 at:

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Starrcade 1999: The Big Idea All Over Again

Starrcade 1999
Date: December 19, 1999
Location: MCI Center, Washington D.C.
Attendance: 8,582
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Scott Hudson, Bobby Heenan

 

Other than the main event, there isn’t much here. The card is thirteen matches long as opposed to the eight or nine that we’ve had for the past few years. The only other main match on the card is a battle of the powerbombs between Nash and Sid who returned earlier this year. There just isn’t much to see here but that’s the case with Russo shows. Another interesting sign about this show: the attendance. Starrcade 1997-2000 were all in the same arena. 1997 drew 17,500 fans, 1998 drew about 16,000, 1999 drew about 8,500 and 2000 drew about 6,500. The writing is on the wall already. Let’s get to it.

 

The intro video lists off all of the matches tonight, starting with the least interesting of them all. Usually it’s the other way around.

 

Disco Inferno/Lash Leroux vs. Mamalukes

 

Leroux is a pretty generic cruiserweight from Louisiana. The Mamalukes are two Italian guys named Johnny the Bull and Big Vito who are your basic mafia gimmick. Vito and Lash start after a quick brawl. The Cajun guy is pounded into the corner as Vito does every Mafia stereotype you can think of. Lash takes a side kick to the face and it’s off to Johnny for some double stomping. Leroux takes him down with a hiptoss and it’s to Disco. Inferno gets two on the Bull via a clothesline and two off a clothesline and Russian legsweep.

 

As Disco stomps away in the corner, we get the story behind this: apparently Disco owes the Italians’ manager Tony Marinara (just go with it) $25,000 and the makeshift team is together because they used to not like each other but now respect one another. Disco has also tarred and feathered Marinara before pouring meat sauce on Vito and the Bull. I’ve heard stupider angles. I can’t think of many but I’ve heard of them.

 

The Mamalukes take over and it’s off to Vito who hits a neckbreaker to give Johnny a two count. After a quick chinlock by the Bull and some double teaming including a wishbone split for Disco’s legs, a double powerbomb gets no cover on Inferno. Instead Vito misses a middle rope splash and it’s off to Lash.

 

Leroux speeds things up and takes Vito down with a spin kick before making the heels hit each other by mistake. Everything breaks down and the Italians hit a double clothesline to take over. Disco and Vito go to the floor as Johnny misses a guillotine legdrop, allowing Disco to hit a splash for two. Everyone is back in again and Disco tries his Chartbuster (Stunner) but Vito breaks it up, sending Disco into Lash for a Chartbuster to his partner for no apparent reason. That and a spinning inverted DDT to Disco are enough for the pin by Vito.

 

Rating: C-. Very basic tag match here but I’ve seen worse. Again though, the idea of this story being based around a guy named Tony Marinara does it no favors and makes for a rather stupid story all around. Disco continues to be impressive though as he was nothing but a comedy character who lasted for many years with the company. He also wasn’t half bad in the ring, but his career was hindered by the character.

 

Post match Disco’s face is covered with an ether rag and placed in a body bag. The Italians carry him to a waiting car and drive off.

 

The announcers hype up the rest of the card.

 

We’re told that US Champion Scott Hall is injured and therefore has to forfeit the title. Here’s Chris Benoit who is awarded the title in Hall’s absence, so he issues an open challenge for a title defense later on in the show. The match will be a ladder match like Benoit vs. Hall was scheduled to be. Ok then.

 

Cruiserweight Title: Madusa vs. Evan Karagias

 

Evan is a generic pretty boy wrestler and is defending. These two used to be a couple but have since split over the title. Madusa jumps him on the way to the ring and sends him into the steps to take over. Evan can’t bring himself to hit her but then he punches her down anyway. What drama indeed as the reaction from the fans (or lack thereof) can tell you. A slam puts Madusa down but Karagias misses a moonsault (which would have missed even if she hadn’t rolled away) and Madusa hits (kind of) a middle rope dropkick for no cover.

 

She goes up again, only to be slammed down by Karagias. They trade powerbombs (Tony on Madusa’s: “that was almost like a powerbomb!”) followed by a neckbreaker from Evan. The fans rightly think this is boring as Evan dives on Madusa on the floor. Cue Evan’s chick Spice to turn on him with a low blow, allowing Madusa to German suplex Karagias down for the title. Did I mention that Spice and Evan hooked up on Monday, making this turn completely pointless?

 

Rating: F. Madusa is one of those very annoying female wrestlers who is supposed to be interesting because she’s a female wrestler, but at the end of the day she just isn’t entertaining. Karagias was as generic of a wrestler as you could get, making this to be absolutely terrible and sloppy on top of that.

 

Cue Norman Smiley in Washington Redskins gear to scream a lot before the match. See he’s a coward, so a producer saying they’re out of time terrifies him.

 

Hardcore Title: Meng vs. Norman Smiley

 

See, it’s funny because it’s a monster vs. a coward. Norman brings out a dumpster full of weapons but puts on a helmet before starting things off. Smiley, the champion, throws the weapons into the ring but has them thrown back at him, sending Norman running off. A garbage can to the head sends Norman staggering away and we head to the back after about fifteen seconds of “action”.

 

Meng is hit by a chair a few times but a trashcan shot has no effect. They head to the catering area with Norman stumbling around. This is a Vince Russo trademark by the way. Meng pounds away on him, throwing Norman through a table. Norman finds a fire extinguisher to blast Meng with, only to have hardcore guys Fit Finlay and Brian Knobbs show up to beat Meng down. A shot to the head with some kind of a metal bar is enough to knock Meng out, allowing Norman to come out from under a table and retain the title.

 

Rating: D-. These are the same kind of matches that the WWF was having at the time and they were doing them much better. The problem here is that these matches are done over and over again and they just aren’t funny anymore. Norman constantly ran around while screaming, only to win the title due to some shocking coincidence. Nothing to see here, again.

 

David Flair, Ric’s son, is presented with a golden crowbar as a gift. Ok then.

 

Punk band The Misfits kidnaps Oklahoma, a character designed to make fun of WWF announcer Jim Ross. This will be explained better in a bit.

 

We recap the Revolution vs. Jim Duggan. Fed up with never getting elevated up the card, Perry Saturn, Chris Benoit, Dean Malenko and Shane Douglas formed a group called the Revolution, which was designed to rebel against the established veterans to take their spot on the top of the card. WCW, in its infinite wisdom, turned them into an anti-American group who declared statehood, thereby ticking off patriot (and resident WCW janitor) Jim Duggan. Duggan will have mystery partners for an eight man tag tonight.

 

Jim Duggan/???/???/??? vs. Revolution

 

Oh and if Duggan loses, the Revolution has to do his janitor job for thirty days, but if Duggan loses he has to renounce his citizenship on Nitro. Duggan’s partners are…..the Varsity Club. Yes, the same three guys (Rick Steiner, Kevin Sullivan and Mike Rotundo) from 1988 are back again for absolutely no apparent reason. Instead of Shane in the match, it’s WCW’s version of WWF bodybuilding chick Chyna, named Asya. Get the joke? Also Benoit isn’t here because of the US Title match later tonight.

 

Duggan wants to start the match himself so he sticks his tongue out at the Varsity Club. Saturn starts for the Revolution and gets pounded down by Duggan so it’s Malenko’s turn. Jim beats him down as well with the Three Point Clothesline but he doesn’t seem interested in tagging. The Varsity Club yells at him and you can feel the heel turn coming from here. Saturn comes in again with a springboard missile dropkick to take Duggan down.

 

The Revolution takes turns beating on Duggan in the corner as this is rapidly going nowhere. Dean hits him with the Revolution flag and even Asya gets in some shots of her own. The Varsity Club finally gets bored of standing on the apron and everything breaks down. To the shock of no one paying attention, the former heel stable turns on Duggan and lays him out, allowing Douglas to come in and steal the pin.

 

Rating: D. As predicted, no one knew who the Varsity Club was so no one cared when they turned on him. Why Duggan would pick them as partners is beyond me, but as mentioned he wasn’t that bright. This was a waste of Malenko and Saturn, which is a big part of why the bailed to the WWF along with Guerrero and Benoit in about a month.

 

The Misfits have Oklahoma in a one man cage and berate him a bit.

 

Vampiro vs. Steve Williams

 

The Misfits are Vampiro’s friends and Williams is Oklahoma’s heavy. Oklahoma is designed to do one thing and one thing only: make fun of Jim Ross. Vampiro gets five minutes against Oklahoma is he wins, but since Oklahoma has a mic on we have to hear him talk during the match. Vampiro climbs on top of the cage to start and dives down onto Williams before whipping him into the barricade. A kick to the face staggers Doc and we head inside for the first time.

 

Vampiro pounds on Williams as this is already going nowhere, much like the majority of the card tonight. Doc fires back with some chops, causing Oklahoma to shout CHOP CHOP CHOP because that’s FUNNY you see. Williams hits some shoulder blocks but misses a splash in the corner. A suplex puts Williams down but as Vampiro goes up, Doc pops up with a superplex, nearly breaking Vampiro’s neck in the process. That’s enough for the wrestling so here are the Misfits to distract Williams. Vampiro kicks Doc down but a second kick is caught in a suplex. Williams pounds away until he shoves the referee for the lame DQ.

 

Rating: D. So to be clear, Vampiro was supposed to be a big deal in WCW around this time, so let’s have him get destroyed by someone who hasn’t been around in years for the sake of pushing a feud to make fun of someone who isn’t even in this company anymore. Did I mention that 1999 was a really stupid year for WCW?

 

The five minute clock immediately starts despite Oklahoma being in the cage still.

 

Vampiro vs. Oklahoma

 

To further the stupidity, Williams beats Vampiro up for about two more minutes while Oklahoma spouts off stupid jokes from inside the cage. Oklahoma finally gets out and drops Vampiro again with a DDT before stomping away in the corner. Vampiro gets up so Oklahoma runs, only to have the Misfits throw him back in. After a few low blows from Oklahoma (yeah the announcer is hanging in there with a wrestler. Why are you surprised?), Vampiro hits a Nail in the Coffin (Michinoku Driver) for the pin. They weren’t even “fighting” for a minute.

 

The Powers That Be (the faceless bosses of the company) talk to Creative Control/Curt Hennig, telling them to go become #1 contenders in the six man tag. The faceless voice seems distracted and says something big is going down tonight.

 

Harlem Heat and Midnight, a big muscular chick that no one cared about, get in an argument before said six man. Stevie walks out due to Midnight.

 

Harlem Heat/Midnight vs. Creative Control/Curt Hennig

 

It’s a handicap match because Stevie is gone. Creative Control is a pair of big bald twins named Gerald and Patrick who have teamed for years under a variety of names. The winning team here become number one contenders to the tag belts. Booker and we’ll say Patrick start things off with Booker being shoved into the corner. Booker fights back with a spin kick to the head for two but the twins double team Booker by working on his ribs. Gerald gets taken down by a forearm and put in an armbar before it’s off to Midnight.

 

She stays on the arm but gets taken into the corner and pounded with some shoulders. Booker comes in very quickly but is tripped up by Patrick as the heels quickly take over. Curt comes in for all of five seconds before it’s back to Gerald who gets two off a big boot. Patrick comes in again and gets caught by an ax kick for two before Midnight gets another tag. Hennig comes in again and after ducking a leapfrog, decks Midnight in the back of the head to knock her to the floor.

 

Curt stays on Midnight as the fans simply don’t care. The announcers talk about the big deal that the Powers That be were talking about with Hudson asking what could be bigger than Disco Inferno being thrown in a car. Like I said, 1999 was very stupid. Stevie finally comes out but Booker tells him to leave, which Stevie does.

 

Patrick comes back in for a slam and a series of elbow drops. Booker makes the save as Stevie is still at ringside. Patrick misses a middle rope elbow drop and there’s the tag to Booker, but the referee is with Stevie. Booker cleans house but Curt hits him in the head with a foreign object, allowing Gerald to get the pin.

 

Rating: D. This is yet ANOTHER match that could have been on Nitro and had no business here at all. That’s the problem with almost everything so far: it’s either stupid or WAY too short to mean anything at all. Other than the opener, nothing has lasted more than nine minutes so far which makes it hard to get interested in anything.

 

We recap Dustin Rhodes vs. Jeff Jarrett. Rhodes had returned as a man in black and white named Seven who was based on the seven deadly sins. That sounds interesting, so Dustin dropped the gimmick and became just Dustin Rhodes, who isn’t interesting no matter how many times you remind us that he’s Dusty’s son. Jeff Jarrett is tired of him so tonight it’s a Bunkhouse Brawl, meaning hardcore match.

 

Dustin is in the back and complaining about his father not working here anymore when Jarrett jumps him to start the match.

 

Jeff Jarrett vs. Dustin Rhodes

 

Jarrett takes it back into the arena and runs Rhodes over with a wheelbarrow full of guitars. Dustin is wheeled into the barricade but Rhodes comes back with a cold drink to the face. They head inside with Dustin getting in some shots to the back with a wooden stick. It’s time for the bullrope and cowbell because that’s what guys from Texas use. They head outside again with Jeff being pounded on the announce table and being pulled into the post by the rope.

 

Back in and Dustin throws powder into Jeff’s eyes before pulling out some duct tape. Oh wait first of all let’s have a few whips with a belt and beat up the referee. The referee is taped to the ropes but Jeff is still blinded by the powder. Jeff gets in a shot to the ribs as Curt Hennig comes out to untie the referee. A wooden stick is broken over Rhodes’ back before Jeff puts on a sleeper. Back up and Dustin gets two off a quick belly to belly suplex as the fans are REALLY restless now.

 

Dustin gets a rollup but Hennig breaks it up to give Jarrett a near fall of his own. Back up and Dustin hits Shattered Dreams on Jarrett (if you don’t know what that is, keep it that way) but Hennig pulls the referee out. Curt has his own dreams shattered but Dustin is backdropped to the floor by Jeff. They head up to the set and climb up the structure before hopping back down. Hennig is back again but gets bulldogged on the concrete. Jarrett climbs up on the set with a guitar to crack Dustin in the head for the pin.

 

Rating: D+. This is one of the best matches of the night so far. Let that sink in for a minute. This is also the first match to break ten minutes tonight and we’re eight matches into the show. These hardcore matches are getting really hard to sit through as they’re getting repetitive and there’s such little focus on story that it’s almost impossible to get into them.

 

DDP promises to beat up David Flair with the crowbar.

 

David Flair vs. Diamond Dallas Page

 

This is a crowbar on a pole match, meaning if you climb the pole and bring the crowbar down, you can use it on the other guy. They’re fighting because DDP took out Ric Flair, sending David into insanity. David brings his own crowbar to attack Page from behind. The referee takes it away which should be considered theft when you think about it. Apparently Page can’t continue but he shoves the announcer before the match can end, so let’s get going with the bell. How can you not continue a match that hasn’t started yet?

 

As I try to figure that out, Flair stomps on Page in the corner but gets rolled up for two. A sunset flip is easily blocked by a Page right hand so Flair takes him down with a DDT for two. DDP gets up and pounds away in the corner, only to be clotheslined down for two. The announcers are shocked at Flair’s abilities, as before this he had been a complete joke (and US Champion but the less said about that the better).

 

Page clotheslines him down but can’t follow up. David gets up first and puts on a figure four, only to have it reversed a few seconds later. There’s the crowbar (which was maybe seven feet above the mat, making the “climb” a joke) but a single swing misses, allowing the Diamond Cutter to end David quick.

 

Rating: F. ANOTHER worthless match here that didn’t even break four minutes. The crowbar wasn’t a factor whatsoever, making me wonder why this match even existed. That’s what this show can be summed up as: a bunch of quick ideas which have no time to develop, meaning that as soon as they’re done you forget about them because they didn’t have enough time to mean anything.

 

Post match Page hits a Diamond Cutter off the top rope but as he lifts the crowbar, a fan who is obsessed with Flair comes in for the save. She would be revealed as Daffney soon after this.

 

We recap Sting vs. Total Package (Lex Luger) which is all about Elizabeth. The idea is Luger abuses her by making her wrestle in dangerous or humiliating matches, so tonight her contract with Luger is on the line in Sting vs. Luger’s match.

 

Sting vs. The Total Package

 

Luger changed his name to the Total Package (his nickname for years), which was supposed to make him a TOTALLY different guy. This worked about as well as you would expect given that by this point, Luger was pretty much a parody of himself. Before the match, Sting gives Liz a SPECIAL can of mace to use just in case something happens. Luger jumps Sting as he comes in before stomping away. Sting is sent to the floor and rammed into the apron for good measure.

 

Back in and Luger pounds Sting down for two as he keeps looking out at Liz. Sting no sells a ram into the corner as Liz is now on the apron. A suplex is no sold as well and Luger gets pinballed back and forth between Sting and Liz. Sting and Luger clothesline each other down and Liz has the mace. She goes to turn on Sting (a running joke at this point) but the can is silly string, because for the first time ever, STING OUTSMARTED SOMEONE! Liz bails and Sting pounds away on Luger with an atomic drop and top rope splash for two. There are two Stinger Splashes but Liz comes in for the DQ.

 

Rating: D. This was a one joke match and while the joke was good, it was clear that neither guy was interested in doing anything here. It’s another match not even making it to six minutes, which makes you wonder why this match needed to be on PPV at all. Luger deteriorated so far in just a few months that it was uncanny.

 

Liz hits Sting in the jaw with the bat, knocking him out cold. Luger crushes Sting’s wrist with a chair, putting him out until March.

 

Sid vs. Kevin Nash

 

This is a powerbomb match, meaning the first person to hit the move wins. Basically they’re fighting because they’re both big and both use the same move. Nash is one half of the tag champions with the injured Hall. Nash takes him into the corner to start and fires off his usual knees to the ribs and elbows to the jaw. They botch a double clothesline as only Sid goes down. Back up and a low blow stops Sid’s powerbomb attempt, sending him to the floor. Nash has one blocked on the floor as well before Sid rams him back first into the apron a few times.

 

Nash is sent into the barricade a few times as this is already very slow paced. A chair to the back keeps Nash down again and Sid yells at the fans a lot. Back in and a clothesline puts Nash down and there’s a legdrop for good measure. Sid fails at starting a powerbomb chant but Nash pokes him in the eye. There goes the referee as you would expect, followed by a horrible looking powerbomb by Sid. Cue Jeff Jarrett to break a guitar over Sid’s head as the referee wakes up. Nash can’t get Sid up so he tells the referee he powerbombed Sid…..AND THAT’s GOOD ENOUGH FOR THE REFEREE, meaning Nash wins.

 

Rating: F. There was a match designed to keep either guy from having to be pinned, and the match was won because Nash said that he powerbombed the other guy. The fact that this company survived the year 2000 is absolutely stunning considering how long these same guys were on top.

 

Benoit says the open challenge hasn’t been answered yet but he’s heading to the ring to face somebody.

 

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. ???

 

This is a ladder match, meaning the belt is hanging from the ceiling and you have to climb a ladder to bring it down. And it’s Jeff Jarrett. The roster is as stacked as it is so we have Jarrett appear in his third match of the night. You couldn’t possibly throw Booker T or Malenko or someone like that out there right? Tony: “Jeff Jarrett? Again?” Benoit is cool with fighting Jarrett and brings him in for a hard clothesline and an elbow to the face. A backbreaker takes Jeff down and a superplex does it even better.

 

Benoit brings in the first ladder but Jeff baseball slides it into Chris’ ribs before blasting him in the face to take over. Back inside and the ladder is set up in the corner but it’s Jeff being whipped into it by Benoit. The champion heads up for the belt but Jeff pulls Benoit down and crotches him on the top rope. The earlier ladder shot to Benoit’s head has busted him open. Benoit is whipped into the ladder in the corner but he comes right back for a whip of his own to put Jarrett down.

 

Jeff responds by putting Benoit in the ladder and dropping it back onto the champion in a painful looking landing. Benoit comes back by tying Jarrett’s legs in the ladder and hanging him upside down, only to have Jarrett shake Benoit off the ladder to put both guys down. Jarrett goes up again but gets dumped off, only to do the exact same thing to Benoit a few moments later.

 

Benoit gets up and shoves the ladder down again, sending a climbing Jeff down onto the ropes. Chris goes up but Jeff dropkicks the ladder from the top rope, sending Benoit crashing down in a scary fall. Back up again and Benoit rams the ladder into Jarrett’s face to put him down, allowing Chris to climb up…..and hit a Swan Dive headbutt to knock Jarrett out even colder. Benoit climbs up and keeps the title.

 

Rating: B-. It’s not great but this is by far and away the best match of the night so far. The fact that there wasn’t a boring and stupid story to this helped it a lot. Instead of having to adjust to some idiotic idea, they just went out there and beat each other up for ten minutes. Given what we’ve had to sit through on this show so far, that’s the best thing they could have done.

 

Bret says he’ll win because he wants to prove how great he is.

 

WCW World Title: Bret Hart vs. Goldberg

 

Bret is defending and this is No DQ. He won the title at Mayhem in November and Goldberg wanted a shot, so for some reason they won the tag titles, only to lose them in a few weeks. Ignoring the fact that it took two years for Bret to win the WCW Title, I’ve heard worse ideas for the main event of the biggest show of the year. Goldberg is the more popular guy but they’re both mostly good guys. They shake hands and we’re ready to go.

 

Feeling out process to start until Goldberg shoves him to the floor with ease. Back in and Bret headlocks him down to the mat, only to have Goldberg fight up and hit a gorilla press into a powerslam to wake the crowd up a bit. A clothesline puts Bret down and Goldberg puts on a leg lock, only to be countered into a Sharpshooter attempt. Goldberg kicks him away and they head to the floor where the referee is bumped less than five minutes into the match.

 

A second referee comes out as Bret is dropped onto the barricade chest face. Back inside and a big boot to the face puts Bret down. A powerslam looks to do the same….and there goes the second referee. Bret avoids the spear and puts the Figure Four on around the post. There’s a third referee in (remember we’re maybe seven minutes into this at most) as Bret drops the hold around the post. Back in and Bret goes after the leg by cannonballing down onto it and bending the leg around the ropes.

 

Off to a figure four by Bret and Goldberg is in trouble. The fans chant his name and Goldberg turns it over. Bret makes the rope….which shouldn’t mean anything in a No DQ match but what has made sense tonight? Bret stays on the leg in the corner but Goldberg chokes him into the corner and pounds away, only to knock down the third referee.

 

In the famous moment of the match, Goldberg hits a superkick to Bret’s head, giving Bret such a concussion that his career basically ended right there. Bret would wrestle five more times in WCW in the next three weeks and then not again for over ten years. Anyway, the spear puts Bret down and here’s Roddy Piper to be referee. The distraction legs Bret hit him in the knee and load up the Sharpshooter…..and it’s Montreal AGAIN, with Piper calling for the bell before Bret can turn the hold over.

 

Rating: C-. Bret killing kick aside, this wasn’t much to see. The leg work was fine and looked to be setting up an interesting ending, but why do that when you can have ANOTHER Montreal Screwjob moment? The match watch wasn’t too bad, but after two hours of drek like we’ve just sat through, you need something WAY better than this.

 

Overall Rating: F. As in failure. That’s what this show was on almost all levels. The ladder match is quite good (imagine that: two guys who were 32 at this time had the best match of the night) and the opening tag match is watchable. There’s your biggest problem: arguably the second best match of the night is the Disco Inferno and Lash Leroux vs. the Marinara Goon Squad.

 

Like I said, there are thirteen matches on the card and three of them (Bunkhouse, ladder, world title) break ten minutes. Everything else goes by so fast that you don’t have time to determine if it’s good or bad. All you know is that something happened, but so much other stuff is flying at you that you can’t process anything else. That’s Russo booking 101: throw everything you can at the audience and hope they like something instead of slowing down a bit and letting a good show develop. Terrible show which illustrates everything wrong with the company at the moment.

 

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Thunder – March 19, 1998: If This Is The B Show, I Don’t Want To See The C Show

Thunder
Date: March 19, 1998
Location: Hullman Center, Terra Haute, Indiana
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Lee Marshall, Bobby Heenan

We’re back on dry land for Thunder now and headed towards Spring Stampede. After both Uncensored and Nitro two things are clear: the NWO is fighting and no matter how sick of it we are, there’s no way we’re getting away from it. Other than that there’s a lot of good stuff going on in the midcard, but we have to get through all the NWO stuff to get there. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the end of Nitro.

The announcers talk for a LONG time, as in like two minutes straight. The only thing to come out of this is Sting vs. Savage for the title at Spring Stampede.

Cruiserweight Title: Chris Jericho vs. Super Calo

Jericho says he loves Terry Hutt Indiana. Calo jumps him from behind to start but Jericho easily punches him down to get a breather. A clothesline puts Jericho down for two and Calo hits an ax handle to the back to send him to the floor. Jericho is back in a few seconds later and hits a quick vertical suplex for two (arrogantly of course).

A slingshot splash gets two more on Calo and a spinwheel kick in the corner has Calo in even more trouble. We hit a quick chinlock but Super is quickly up and knocking Jericho out to the floor. There’s a big suicide dive which gets two back inside and a middle rope missile dropkick gets the same for Calo. Jericho ducks under a cross body and it’s the Liontamer for the submission.

Rating: D+. Jericho is awesome at this point but he needs someone better than Calo to get a good match. Calo was sluggish out there and didn’t look to be all that interested in the match. Also Jericho didn’t even steal that stupid hat from Calo for the trophy case so there isn’t much good out of this.

Kendall Windham vs. El Dandy

Seriously? Did the booker owe these guys a favor or something? The match actually starts during the break with Kendall pounding away. They head to the outside with Kendall in control but the crowd is looking away. Here’s Raven with the Flock and the US Title belt. Apparently he stole it last night on MTV and we’ll get a clip showing what happened later on. Dandy comes back with some cross bodies but gets bulldogged down for the pin in a short match.

Hennig and Rude come out to talk about Curt vs. Rick Steiner later tonight. Hogan has sent them on a mission to destroy Bret Hart and you don’t see him here anymore. The town is insulted and they talk about ruling wrestling for fifteen years. Not much to say here.

Perry Saturn vs. La Parka

La Parka comes out with the chair and wearing something that looks like an apron. In a smart move, Saturn clotheslines La Parka out of his boots during the dance to take over. A suplex gets two for Saturn and it’s off to a Fujiwara Armbar. Saturn fires off kicks in the corner but La Parka comes back with a kind of bulldog for two. The Skeleton guy gets no elevation on a leapfrog and nearly breaks Saturn’s neck in a cringe inducing botch.

An enziguri staggers Saturn and La Parka leverages him to the floor. Lodi goes to help Saturn up but La Parka dives onto both of them. Back in and a corkscrew dive takes Saturn down before the chair is brought in. Saturn dropkicks La Parka in the back, sending him face first into the chair. The Rings of Saturn go on and we’re done.

Rating: C-. Saturn nearly being crippled aside this wasn’t much to see. As is typically the case with WCW, they’re handed someone getting themselves over like La Parka and they do nothing with it. Saturn was his usual solid self here but it was just a step above a squash. Lodi continues to have the most heat of the entire Flock.

We get a clip of Page’s interview on MTV last night. Raven hijacks the feed on the monitor they’re watching and wants to know why he isn’t champion. Page says he banged him and gets some looks from the hosts. Raven’s video gets some static and he thinks it’s a conspiracy. “The Foo Fighters don’t get static!” He says he’s going to rip Page off and shows up on set with a stop sign to knock Page out. The Even Flow puts Page through a coffee table and Raven takes the belt.

Barry Darsow vs. Ray Traylor

It’s like a nightmare from WWF house shows past. Darsow hits a quick knee lift and falls backwards from the impact before getting punched down by Traylor. The slide under the rope into the uppercut puts Darsow down again but he avoids a splash. Barry wraps the arm around the post and stomps at the shoulder a bit. A belly to back suplex gets two but Darsow can’t hook an arm hold called Barely Legal. Ray comes back with a one armed slam and a Boss Man Slam for the pin.

Rating: D. To recap, we’ve had to sit through Kendall Windham and Barry Darsow matches tonight. I’m starting to understand the hatred for this show that so many fans have. As for the match there wasn’t much here but at least it was more competitive than I was expecting. Why they needed Barry Darsow here instead of say Vincent is beyond me.

Roddy Piper will be on Nitro to make a challenge. I think we have our topic for the rest of the show.

Yuji Nagata vs. Prince Iaukea

They trade arm holds to start until Nagata grabs a headscissors. Nagata wins a chop off and sends Prince to the apron, only to be caught by a springboard flip attack. Yuji fires off some kicks before cranking on the arm. A cross armbreaker has Prince in trouble but the announcers are still wondering what Piper’s announcement will be. Tony thinks it might be about the NWO. There’s a fresh idea.

Anyway Iaukea gets to the ropes but a double chop brings him right back down to the mat. Back to the arm followed by some lame ground and pound and more shots into the bad arm from Nagata. Another Prince comeback is stopped by a rake of the eyes and a great looking belly to back from Nagata. Prince comes back again with a dropkick, drawing Sonny Onoo to the apron. He accidentally kicks Yuji in the head, allowing Iaukea to hook a northern lights suplex for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was fine from a technical standpoint but could they have picked two less interesting guys? It was generic Polynesian guy vs. generic Japanese guy and it’s going to wind up being the longest match on the show tonight (5:20). We’re five matches into this show and a La Parka match is the only thing remotely decent. That can’t be a good sign.

We get some clips from Nash s. Giant on Sunday.

Brian Adams vs. Marty Jannetty

This sounds like a reject from a Survivor Series Showdown in 1990. Adams quickly blasts him to the floor before throwing him back inside with ease. Marty avoids a charge in the corner but is quickly caught in a bearhug for a few moments. Jannetty keeps trying to run the ropes but gets thrown around the ring with ease. A headbutt puts Marty down again but rolls away from a knee drop. Jannetty makes a quick comeback with an atomic drop and missile dropkick for two before hooking a lame sleeper. Adams shrugs him off and hits a very bad looking tilt-a-whirl powerslam for the pin.

Rating: D. Dang those connections must be strong for Adams. The guy just isn’t anything of note but he keeps getting TV time and wins like this one here. Scott Norton may be pushed way too strong but he’s a lot less generic than Adams. Nothing to see here as this show continues to drag along.

Video of Sting’s entrance from Nitro.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Psychosis

Mike Tenay has replaced Lee Marshall. Eddie grabs the arm to start and clotheslines him down. Psychosis comes back with a quick snapmare as things speed up, only to be stopped with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker from Guerrero. Eddie is taken down by a quick armdrag as the pace picks up again. Guerrero showboats too much though and gets dropkicked in the back, setting up the guillotine legdrop in the ropes.

Instead of covering though Psychosis kicks him to the floor and hits a Whisper in the Wind off the top. Psychosis slingshots back in with an elbow drop for two and a tilt-a-whirl slam looks to set up another Whisper but Eddie sidesteps him. Eddie shoves Psychosis off the top and lays him out with the frog splash for the pin.

Rating: C. After the string of bad matches tonight I’d take anything decent right now. These two were moving well out there and the high spots looked good. Eddie continues to be one of the top guys who never gets a title but that’s what you have to expect in WCW. Entertaining little match here.

Raven vs. Brad Armstrong

Raven has the US Title here with him and Tony makes sure to tell us that he is NOT the champion. Hammer and Reese come in before the bell and beat Armstrong down which is legal anyway as it’s Raven’s Rules. Raven says this is Armstrong’s second chance but Page doesn’t deserve one. Last night on MTV it was Matthew McConaughey, the Foo Fighters and Page. It should have been Raven as the star of that show, so he crushed Page’s head with a stop sign. Raven will grow stronger and Page will grow weaker. There’s the Even Flow to Armstrong and a bell so I guess this was a match.

Video on Bret Hart.

Scott Norton vs. Chris Benoit

Benoit fires off chops in the corner to start but Norton takes him into the other corner across the ring before clotheslining him down. Now it’s Norton with chops of his own to knock Benoit off his feet. It’s time for the generic power offense from Norton, such as forearms to the back, a headbutt and more clotheslines. A hard clothesline puts Benoit down and a powerslam gets two.

Norton hits something resembling a Samoan drop for two more as this is one sided so far. Back up and Benoit avoids a charge in the corner and takes Norton down with a German suplex before going up top for the Swan Dive. He hooks on the Crossface but Vincent gets on the apron, making Benoit break the hold after a LONG time. The distraction lets Norton pop up, not sell the hold at all, and lay out Benoit with the shoulder breaker for the pin.

Rating: D. SERIOUSLY? You take Benoit out of the hottest feud of the year so you can have SCOTT NORTON squash him in five minutes? Norton was in the Crossface for a good ten seconds and didn’t even have his arm raised, then he gets to pin Benoit clean after his finisher? What in the world does Norton have on the people that run this company? It makes even less sense as Norton never went anywhere in WCW, so was this match only there to bring Benoit down? It certainly seems that way.

Goldberg vs. Wayne Bloom

The place EXPLODES for Goldberg and you can actually seem them all on their feet. For the first time ever, we get a number for Goldberg’s wins. He’s 55-0 coming into this match which is higher than I expected. A full nelson has Bloom in early trouble and there’s a pumphandle slam for good measure. Bloom fires off some right hands but gets caught by the spear. There’s the Jackhammer to make it 56-0. This is one of Goldberg’s longer matches, going a full eighty seconds.

Saturn jumps the railing but just stares at Goldberg.

Rick Steiner vs. Curt Hennig

That’s not much of a main event. Rick easily runs Hennig over and hiptosses him down, sending Curt to the floor for a Rude conference. Rick will have none of that and pulls Curt back in by the hair. A quick powerslam looks to set up the Steiner Bulldog but Rude pulls Steiner’s leg and it’s thrown out after less than a minute and a half.

Steiner fights them off for as long as he can but the B-Tea comes in to help Curt and Rude. Ray Traylor comes out and is beaten down as well until GOLDBERG makes the save, blowing the roof off the place. A double spear takes out Hennig and Adams and there’s one for Norton as well. Goldberg walks out, leaving Steiner and Traylor to clean house. The announcers are THRILLED to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. This show SUCKED until the end with nothing to see and a lot of stupid matches. The Norton vs. Benoit match continues to make me shake my head but that’s life in WCW. Goldberg coming in was a breath of fresh air for this show and the crowd went nuts for him. Good ending to a horrible show.

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On This Day: July 24, 2000 – Monday Nitro: Goldberg……I Can’t Say It

Monday Nitro
Date: July 24, 2000
Location: CSU Convocation Center, Cleveland, Ohio
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Scott Hudson, Mark Madden

This is another request that was made so long ago that I don’t remember the reason behind it at all. We’re just after Bash at the Beach 2000 and Booker T is the new world champion. We’re on the way to New Blood Rising which was another Russo mess of a PPV. Tonight we have Booker vs. Goldberg in a match I vaguely remember. Let’s get to it.

There’s a cage over the ring.

Here’s US Champion Lance Storm to open the show. He asks for us to rise for the Canadian national anthem as Mark Madden can’t shut up. After the anthem, Storm says Americans need a hero. It’s not his fault that all great wrestling champions come from Canada. He has Mike Awesome at New Blood Rising so right now he wants a warmup match. Cue the Hardcore Champion Big Vito, who wants this to be title for title.

US Title/Hardcore Title: Big Vito vs. Lance Storm

Storm jumps him to start but gets slammed down as well as clotheslined. Vito pounds him into the corner but Storm comes back with a leg lariat to take over. That gets him nowhere as Vito pounds him into the corner and pulls out some weapons. A traffic cone is knocked into Storm’s testicles and it’s table time.

Vito takes too long though and Storm superplexes him down. An O’Connor Roll gets two for Storm as does a small package. Vito snaps off an overhead belly to belly suplex but the top rope elbow only gets two. An Impaler puts Storm down for another two and they trade superkicks. Storm throws on the Mapleleaf (half crab) and wins the Hardcore Title.

Rating: D+. This was part of the Storm super push where he won three titles in three weeks and just barely lost the world title match in the fourth week. Vito was a journeyman who did about the same thing no matter where he went. This was decent enough, but I’m not sure why you would open a show with it.

Booker T is coming to the ring.

Buy New Blood Rising! PLEASE!

Here’s Booker for a chat. He thanks the fans for their support because without them, there is no Booker T. Booker talks about Jarrett whining about how he lost the title to Booker at the PPV and the champ doesn’t really seem to care. He says he’ll retain at the PPV and that’s about it. Scratch that as here’s Goldberg (repeat x5).

Goldberg says that Booker guaranteed a title defense every week, so tonight he wants one. Booker says cool but here’s Cat who I think has some authority at this point to break up the staredown. Cat says the fans pick the opponent (since when?) and they can vote on WCW.com from a list of ten options. Goldberg chokes Cat out but Booker makes the save to give us another staredown.

Back from a break and the announcers talk about what we just saw.

Billy Kidman jumps in on commentary and says he has a sex tape of him and Torrie tonight. Oh dear.

David Flair/Ms. Hancock vs. Lieutenant Loco/Major Gunns

Hancock is Stacy Keibler and Loco is Chavo Guerrero, the latter of whom holds the Cruiserweight Title. This is due to Gunns trying to give mouth to mouth to David, Hancock’s man. They’re having a Rip Off The Camouflage match at the PPV. Flair wrestles in a dress shirt and pants while Hancock wrestles in a short dress. The guys start things off as Madden asks about the tape.

The girls come in without tags and it’s a chase on the floor. Flair gets pounded down into the corner and Stacy accidentally rams her head into David’s crotch. That doesn’t seem to hurt but Stacy misses a cross body and hits David by mistake. Gunns rolls her up for the pin. This is one of those comedy matches without the comedy.

Gunns tries to give mouth to mouth to Chavo, who was knocked down by something we missed. Stacy rips off Gunns’ top instead to reveal a camo bikini top. Chavo gets back up and helps beat David up to clear the ring. What was the point of this at all?

Jeff Jarrett wants a title match, so Cat gives him a handicap tag title match against Kronik. Ok then.

Pamela Paulshock, a big set of fake breasts with a blonde attached, talks to some guy in black who doesn’t say much. Apparently that was supposed to be Sting and it sounds like him. He says the mask comes off tonight.

Goldberg says he’ll win the poll and if he doesn’t, he’ll kill someone.

We go to Kronik’s locker room and Brian Clark is out cold.

Tag Titles: Jeff Jarrett vs. Brian Adams

I think this is a tag title match. Jarrett jumps Adams as he comes in but a clothesline misses and Adams hits his tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two. Back up and Jarrett whips Adams in but ducks his head like a schmuck, letting Adams hit a piledriver for another two. They head to the floor and Adams (more famous as Crush in the WWF) tries to ram Jeff into the post but Jeff escapes and sends Adams in instead.

In a move that makes me pine for Memphis, Jarrett piledrives Adams on the floor. Back in Memphis, that would be a months long angle. Here it’s good for a two count in the ring. A middle rope punch (MEMPHIS AGAIN) hits Adams but as Jeff goes up again, he gets caught in a bearhug. For no apparent reason, Adams lets him go and tries a sidewalk slam, only to get caught in a DDT from Jeff for two. Jarrett sends him into the corner but jumps into a cobra clutch slam. Adams hits a legdrop for two (Madden: “THAT MOVE NEVER WINS!”) and it looks like we’re getting to the end here.

Jarrett grabs the guitar and hits a shot to the throat when the referee isn’t looking. That only gets two and Adams is mad. He uses the power game for a gutbuster but a middle rope knee misses Jeff entirely. Clark finally comes out and hits Jeff with the guitar, followed by the Meltdown (pumphandle slam). It’s table time as Kronik wants High Times (double chokeslam) but the referee breaks it up. That’s cool with Kronik as they give him the chokeslam instead. The match ends with Jarrett running away.

Rating: D+. Not bad here but the ending was pretty stupid. WCW had a bad habit (WWF did as well to be fair) around this time of just letting the matches end with no real resolution, even in the form of a DQ or something. Why Johnson wanted to help Jarrett wasn’t really mentioned but maybe it was just because it was the right thing to do. Not bad here but nothing great.

Vampiro says he’ll take care of Great Muta for Cat. Why does cat need Muta taken care of you ask? I don’t know either. I was hoping you did.

Shane Douglas complains about Kidman’s sex tape.

Sting is leading in the fan voting poll.

Vampiro vs. Great Muta

This is a rematch from the US Title Tournament last week. Vampiro has the Insane Clown Posse with him for the sake of getting my blood pressure up. Cat (Ernest Miller) is guest referee for no apparent reason. Before any contact is made, Vampiro hits Cat and it’s a SWERVE!!! Cat fights off Vampiro but Muta kicks him down. This would be the start of a stable called the Dark Carnival. No match for the most part.

Never mind as Miller gets up and beats everyone down. Great way to debut a stable there.

Booker doesn’t care who he’s facing.

WCW World Title: Booker T vs. ???

It’s Sting. Apparently the mask is a bunch of bandages from Vampiro burning him. That makes more sense and it only took an hour to tell us that. Sting comes out but Goldberg jumps him. Hehe screw the fans. Goldberg superkicks Sting and Sting has to be taken out on a stretcher. Booker gets in anyway…and is immediately decapitated by a clothesline and a powerslam. Booker heads to the floor and gets in a shot or two, only to be sent into the steps to put him back down again. The champ is busted open so Goldberg gives him an FU and hooks a cross armbreaker.

Booker gets the rope and the hold is broken….but Stevie Ray (Booker’s brother and former tag partner) comes out and throws in the towel. Ernest Miller comes out and declares Goldberg the winner……but he’s not the champion because Booker didn’t quit. He made the rope and didn’t tap, so why is the match over? This didn’t even make it to three minutes, but hey, the world champ looks like a joke now so the point is made.

After a break, Booker wants the match to start again.

Buff Bagwell vs. Kanyon

Kanyon is doing the DDP imitation here….or at least he would if he was here. Judy Bagwell is here with her boy and she yells at Kanyon for being a coward. Buff declares himself the winner and it’s time to dance. A cameraman puts the camera down and beats up Buff, only to have Judy make the save. Buff takes the Kanyon Cutter and Kanyon chases Judy to the back, shoves her in a car and leaves.

Buff gives chase after a break.

Kidman still has a sex tape.

Shane Douglas vs. Mike Awesome

Shane says he’s winning fast so he and Torrie can get out of the town. Mike Awesome is now the Fat Chick Thriller, further proving that WCW had no idea what they were doing a lot of the time. Awesome shoves him away a few times before ramming Shane into all three buckles and then the mat to cap off the series of ten shots. Shane gets clotheslined to the floor and Awesome follows him out with a dive. How scary is it that he could do stuff like that with such ease?

Torrie tries to interfere but is kicked away. The distraction works though as Shane hot shots Awesome on the top rope to take over. A reverse Hennig Neck Snap keeps Awesome down and it’s off to a chinlock. Awesome taps but it doesn’t count for some reason, likely because you don’t tap to a chinlock. Awesome slams Shane off the top and starts his comeback.

A splash gets two and an Alabama Slam looks to set up the Awesome Splash but Torrie interferes again. Douglas gets in his signature chain shots to the ribs but the sex tape pops up on the screen. You can’t see anything of course but Awesome hits Shane in the head with a barbell that came from somewhere for the pin.

Rating: C-. We had two interferences, a chain, a barbell and a sex tape in this five and a half minute match. The tape went nowhere as it’s just the two of them in bed kissing and that’s about it. Kidman would feud with Shane for awhile in a feud that did nothing for no one and was more proof that Kidman feuding with Hogan did nothing for him. Decent match I guess but WAY overbooked.

Billy pops up on the stage with some underwear. Lance Storm tries to jump Awesome but gets Awesome Bombed.

Post break, Douglas beats up the guy that played the tape.

Kidman comes back out and says that he’s made a ton of copies of the tape, including one for Madden, drawing a hilarious response from the fat man. Some guys are shown in the back watching the tape and Douglas yells some more in the production truck.

Filthy Animals vs. Misfits in Action vs. Perfect Event vs. Natural Born Thrillers

The teams are Rey Mysterio/Juventud Guerrera, Hugh Morrus/Lash Leroux (Captain Rection and Corporal Cajun, which I won’t be calling them), Shawn Stasiak/Chuck Palumbo and Sean O’Haire/Mark Jindrak respectfully. This is in the Caged Heat cage, which is WCW’s name for Hell in a Cell. It’s escape only and the last team in the cage is out of the four way title match at New Blood Rising. Palumbo immediately goes for the door but gets caught and beaten down just as fast. Konnan is on commentary here.

This is more like a battle royal than a cage match to start, as everyone is beating on everyone at once. O’Haire hits the first big spot of the match, firing off the Seanton (Swanton) Bomb on Morrus. There are no covers in this as it’s escape only remember. The fighting continues as we see Rey and Juvi hiding in the corner of the cage. That’s pretty smart when you think about it.

Palumbo hits a jumping back elbow on Morrus and in the chaos, the Thrillers both walk out and advance to the PPV. Rey goes up for a cross body onto Stasiak but Stasiak catches him in mid air. That’s more power than he usually shows. Juvy dropkicks Rey onto Stasiak, sending Shawn to the floor, where he and Palumbo make their escape. We’re down to the Filthy Animals vs. the Misfits.

Morrus loads up the No Laughing Matter moonsault but Juvy makes the save. The Bronco Buster keeps Morrus down….and then things stop making sense as the Perfect Event lock the cage. No explanation is given for this but I guess it makes sense in Russo’s mind. Mark Madden pulls out some bolt cutters for Konnan who doesn’t use them immediately. The match basically stops as Disco Inferno of the Animals goes up top and opens a door on top of the cage.

Back in the ring the Animals set up a ladder because this match isn’t overbooked enough yet. They beat down the Misfits so they can climb the ladder and dive on them again. You know, because going through the opening in the roof would make too much sense. Everyone is down after the dive and for a second we actually get a breather. Morrus is up first and climbs the ladder to escape, only to be stomped on by Disco who is still on top of the cage.

Rey climbs up and it’s Juvi vs. Lash, the latter of which has done next to nothing in this match. Konnan finally cuts the lock off the door as Morrus fights off Rey and Disco (Rey is a heel here, if that gives you any idea how stupid this company was) as the other two walk out the door. So now there’s no one in the cage but the match continues. Tony: “We’re completely lost.”

There’s a table set up on the floor and Morrus teases diving off the top through Juvi through said table, but Rey stops him from killing himself. Juvy gets up and stands the table against the cage before sending Lash through it. Morrus and Rey go back through the roof and down into the ring again because….well why not? It doesn’t last long though as Morrus counters a rana into a powerbomb to escape and…..win I guess?

Rating: W. As in WHAT? Where in the world do I begin? First of all, why would you have a big match like this to qualify for another match? Second, why would you have a match like this to eliminate someone? Third, why didn’t the match end when everyone was out of the cage? Fourth, if they could go through the door only, WHY WOULD THEY GO ON THE FREAKING ROOF?

Fifth, why would this match be on Nitro instead of on the PPV? Sixth, why did it take Konnan so long to open the door? Seventh, why did Madden have bolt cutters? Eighth, why were the first two teams in this in the first place? Ninth, who thought Rey as a heel was a good idea? Finally, WHAT DID I JUST WATCH???

Stevie Ray goes up to Goldberg in the back and yells at him, so Goldie throws him through a glass window.

WCW World Title: Booker T vs. Goldberg

Booker jumps him in the aisle but Goldberg knocks him right back down. As they head into the ring, Booker hits the ax kick and Goldberg is in trouble. Never mind as he clotheslines Booker down and into a 360. A powerslam puts Booker down and Goldberg pounds on the cut from earlier. Jeff Jarrett comes out for no reason and hits Goldberg with a chair as this is anything goes. SINCE FREAKING WHEN??? That makes Goldie mad so here’s the Cat to kick Goldberg in the face. That gets him nowhere either so Booker kicks him down for a second and the Book End (Rock Bottom) retains the title in less than three minutes.

Goldberg immediately pops up and spears Booker down and hits a Jackhammer to stand tall to end the show.

Ok before we get to the overall rating, let’s think about this main event for a second. In total, the world champion has been in the ring about six minutes tonight and has been destroyed twice in that span. Goldberg looks like a monster that can’t be hurt and Booker looks like a joke. It took an ax kick, a chair shot, a kick to the face, another kick to the face and a Rock Bottom to put Goldberg down for about five seconds before he destroyed Booker again to end the show.

Not to mention this all happened after the fans were told they could vote and then had their pick knocked out, making it completely meaningless. This would also be the sensible match after the even bigger mess that the cage match on free TV was. They were out of business how soon after this?

Overall Rating: D-. WOW. Between the matches having no endings, the ones that do ending screwy, the debuting faction looking stupid, the debacle that was the world title stuff and the INSANE cage match among all of the other stuff I’m forgetting, it’s no wonder why this company went out of business so soon. Booker would manage five world title reigns in less than a year, and it’s no wonder given how much they seemed to care about him as champion. Why was this show requested anyway? It didn’t seem to be anything special and it was certainly bad.

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On This Day: July 12, 1998 – Bash at the Beach 1998: Shoot For The Stars

Bash at the Beach 1998
Date: July 12, 1998
Location: Cox Arena, San Diego, California
Attendance: 10,095
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan

 

Remember that horrible main event last year with an NBA player in it? Well this one has two NBA players. Yes this time it’s DDP/Karl Malone vs. Hogan/Rodman. At least there’s a world title match here though as this is 6 days after Goldberg beat Hogan for the title so he’s got Hennig tonight. Also the annoying Kevin Greene is back because we need MORE non-wrestling athletes. Let’s get to it.

 

The opening video more or less just lists off the participants in the matches I just told you.

 

The announcers talk forever about how huge this is.

 

Raven vs. Perry Saturn

 

Raven’s Rules of course. This is the beginning of the Saturn frees the Flock stuff. Lodi is dressed like Hat Guy. Riggs is with Raven and let’s talk about the main event. I mean we gave them a full half second after the bell rang to be about them. They fight outside and Raven goes into the railing. Into the ring and Saturn slips off the top. He catches himself on the mat though and hits a dropkick.

 

Saturn throws on a hold and Raven taps but it doesn’t count for whatever reason. He misses a guillotine legdrop though and Raven is able to get a table. Saturn manages to crotch him but misses a dive and lands on the floor again. Raven hits the Russian leg sweep into the railing. Sleeper doesn’t get Raven anywhere as Saturn gets a jawbreaker to counter.

 

Raven gets drilled in the corner with a bunch of kicks and now a suplex. Saturn grabs a chair and bashes Raven with it a few times but only gets two. Saturn sets for something but Riggs and Lodi come in for the save. Perry suplexes them both at once to send them flying and accidentally drills the referee. Out to the floor and Raven gets bulldogged into the steps. Saturn sets up another table and puts a table on top of him.

 

Saturn goes up top but Kanyon comes out and pulls Raven off the table before Saturn jumps. Saturn jumps anyway so are we supposed to believe Saturn just couldn’t see it? Seriously? Saturn mostly misses the tables anyway so he wouldn’t have hit Raven even if Kanyon hadn’t moved him. Kanyon hits a Flatliner (Downward Spiral) on Raven onto the chair. Saturn is rolled in and Raven gets two. Riggs comes in again and takes a DVD but the opening allows Raven to get the Evenflow DDT to end this.

 

Rating: C+. Some of the bumps here were pretty good but these two had the same match for like a year. This wasn’t too bad though, although the table bump was really stupid looking due to the total miss and Saturn looking like a total idiot. This feud would go on a few more months until Saturn freed the Flock, more or less ending their usefulness outside of Kidman.

 

Eddie says he’ll win his hair vs. hair match against Chavo because Chavo is insane. Also Chavo has a match with Stevie Ray before he has to face Eddie.

 

Juventud Guerrera vs. Kidman

 

Not a title match here. Just a cruiserweight match for the sake of having a cruiserweight match. Juvy is a face and Kidman is a part of the Flock. They lock up to start and then slug it out for a bit before Kidman grabs a headlock. A lot of speed to start and Juvy takes over with a set of chops and a headscissors, followed by a clothesline to the floor. Lodi saves a big dive by Juvy and hits him with “Lethal” (Tony’s word not mine) forearms to the back.

 

Kidman misses a dive so Juvy shows him how it’s done, taking out Lodi and Kidman. He kicks Lodi’s hat and the fans boo. Back in the ring for another counter sequence but this one ends better for Kidman as he hits a wheelbarrow suplex. Out to the floor and Kidman picks him up for what looks like a powerbomb but drops Juvy backwards to clothesline him on the railing.

 

Kidman goes to the apron and dives into the railing by mistake to shift the momentum again. Juvy gets a sunset bomb to the floor after some resistance from Kidman. Tony of course calls it a sidewalk slam because he’s an idiot. Back in the ring Kidman uses a low blow to break up a top rope rana and hits a sitout spinebuster off the top in a cool move. It only gets two and we hit a well deserved chinlock.

 

More chopping and ducking follow and Juvy gets a rollup for two. Juvy gets tossed to the floor so Kidman goes up to dive. Juvy gets up for the save and Kidman gets crotched, followed by a springboard rana for two. Juvy gets a Rock Bottom suplex for two. Kidman pops up to hit a springboard bulldog for two (think Stratusfaction). Pinfall reversal sequence doesn’t go anywhere but Kidman walks into the Juvy Driver for two. Juvy charges at Kidman and gets caught in a spinebuster. Kidman misses the Shooting Star and the miss is enough for Juvy to get the 450 for the pin.

 

Rating: B. Really good match here as this is what the cruiserweights were supposed to be about: just going out there and going insane, hitting all kinds of stuff you wouldn’t see elsewhere. Kidman would get a lot better and Juvy would decline a bit as a heel but this was still awesome stuff. Really liked it as they just went out and had a good match. What more can you ask of them?

 

Konnan is on an internet chat. Konnan on the internet is never a good thing. Just ask X.

 

Stevie Ray vs. Chavo Guerrero

 

Not sure why Stevie was picked but this was so that Chavo wouldn’t be at 100% to face Eddie later. Chavo is crazy at this point. He comes out with a water gun and an inner tube around his stomach. Eddie comes out with some scissors to great heat. Chavo dedicates this to his favorite wrestler, Eddie Guerrero. The hair vs. hair match is right after this. Chavo avoids Stevie then poses and dances. He offers a handshake which Stevie actually accepts. While in the handshake, Chavo submits. Apparently Chavo is crazy like a psycho.

 

Chavo Guerrero vs. Eddie Guerrero

 

Chavo bites him to start as Mike talks about the significance of hair vs. hair in Mexico. Now Chavo dances some more as we haven’t had any significant contact in the first two minutes or so. Eddie gets a chair and that doesn’t work of course. Chavo sits in said chair and maybe now we can get a match? Eddie offers a handshake and Chavo takes it, pulling him into a clothesline.

 

We finally get going after two and a half minutes. Backdrop to Eddie so he hides with the referee. Chavo bites him again as this isn’t much of a match for the first three and a half minutes so far. Eddie gets a dropkick to the knee and fires off some shoulders to the back. Slingshot hilo has Chavo in more trouble. After nothing of note on the floor there’s the Gory Special to Chavo. Nice touch.

 

Camel clutch goes on. Did someone grab a camel in that once and say it seemed like a good name for a wrestling match? Out to the floor and Eddie rams his head into the steps. There go the mats at ringside and Eddie wants a brainbuster. Chavo counters into a regular suplex and Eddie is in trouble. The younger one goes up and is crotched so Eddie hits a superplex to put both guys down.

 

Chavo gets the advantage and tries a frog splash but Eddie gets the knees up just in time. Eddie tries Chavo’s tornado DDT and this time it hits, allowing Eddie to grab some scissors before it’s time. Frog splash by Eddie misses and now Chavo hits the tornado DDT. He grabs the scissors, allowing Eddie to get a small package for the pin.

 

Rating: C. Not as good as you would expect here as they were kind of all over the place. The comedy at the beginning didn’t work and they were more or less mirroring each other after that. It’s not bad but for Chavo vs. Eddie you kind of expect a lot more than what you got here.

 

Post match Chavo goes insane and cuts his own hair while he makes sound effects. He plays the psycho really well.

 

Apparently Malenko vs. Jericho is off due to Malenko snapping and beating up Jericho on Nitro. Jericho will defend the title against a mystery opponent later tonight.

 

Konnan vs. Disco Inferno

 

This is an added bonus match. It’s a Wrestlezone special I guess. Disco is billed from Funkytown of all places. Alex Wright is with Disco here and tries to speak some Spanish. Thankfully Mike and Tony are here to tell us they can’t speak Spanish. Where would we be without them to explain jokes to us? Nash and Luger are with Konnan. Gee I wonder what’s going to happen. Nash talks for awhile to eat up more time.

 

Disco gets beaten down quickly which shouldn’t surprise anyone. We hear about Disco’s legit good resume in wrestling which is often forgotten. Disco gets in some jobber offense as it’s pretty clear what we’ve got on our hands here. Wright gets in some shots while Luger/Nash aren’t thrilled with it. There’s a Rack for Wright and a powerbomb for Disco. Tequila Sunrise ends this squash.

 

The Giant vs. Kevin Greene

 

Giant is black and white and Greene is here because WCW isn’t that smart. Greene is a guy that wasn’t that skilled but he was clearly having a blast out there and wanted to be out there doing this. He runs a lot which is smart strategy. Greene kicks the rope into the Little Giants and tries some punches in the corner but gets caught in a spinebuster (called a gutwrench waistlock slam by Tony) and the beating begins.

 

The fans chant for Goldberg but he’s not coming for a bit longer. The scary thing about Giant here is that he’s 26 years old. Bobby implies that Giant might be able to reach Andre’s undefeated streak. Dude, seriously? Greene tries a comeback and a headbutt stops that cold. After a brief thing on the floor Greene hits a forearm off the top and goes after the knee. He charges out of the corner into the chokeslam though and we’re done.

 

Rating: C+. This grade isn’t the same as I would use for a regular wrestling match. This was a wrestler vs. a football player and considering that, this was pretty good actually. Greene wasn’t supposed to be anything special and he was trying, which is exactly what he was supposed to do. Nothing great mind you, but all things considered this was fine.

 

Hennig says he can beat Goldberg.

 

We recap Malenko losing his title shot after Jericho cost him a match and then implied that Dean’s dad slept around and that his mother was a w****.

 

Cruiserweight Title: Chris Jericho vs. ???

 

Jericho doesn’t know who he’s facing and he comes out in a top hat with a cane and does a softshoe routine. JJ Dillon comes out and makes the match. Apparently it’s with a local kid that hasn’t wrestled in six months. It’s also No DQ still which was to be the stipulation with Malenko.

 

Cruiserweight Title: Chris Jericho vs. Rey Mysterio

 

Rey takes over to start and is more muscular than he used to be. After a bit on the floor, Jericho gets a shot to the knee back in the ring. Jericho has apparently had enough and goes up to the set, more or less ending the interesting part of the match. They fight up a lifeguard chair and Rey dives onto Jericho on the sand. Back to the ring and Jericho gets a nice powerslam off the top (called a top rope powerslam by Tony. Wait that was correct. I need a minute to recover from that one).

 

Jericho tries to Pillmanize the leg but Rey moves, sending Jericho crashing into the chair. Rey swings away at it and dropkicks it into the knee. Jericho is in trouble all of a sudden and a facejam looks to set up the West Coast Pop. Liontamer is blocked and Rey gets to the ropes. Here comes Malenko as Jericho tries the Liontamer again. Rey rolls through for the pin and the title. Note here that Malenko DID NOT TOUCH JERICHO. He wasn’t in the ring, he wasn’t within 20 feet of the ring.

 

Rating: C-. Not much here at all but the opening was good. After that the whole thing changed and given that the match was only about six minutes long, I’m not sure what was going on here. Rey didn’t look completely comfortable on the knee so maybe that was it. Also, the reason to note Dean’s lack of involvement was the title would be returned to Jericho the next night due to Dean’s “interference”.

 

Malenko and Jericho fight to the back as Jericho tries to escape.

 

TV Title: Bret Hart vs. Booker T

 

Bret still hasn’t really done anything so let’s take that big acquisition and put him in the lower midcard and in the NWO. You know, because he’s just another guy. Booker is champion if that wasn’t clear. They head to the mat and Bret comes out ahead there. Booker gets a cross body for two. Bret is sent to the floor and is in trouble already. He does manage to take over on the floor and takes over back inside.

 

Booker is still in trouble as they go outside. He goes into the railing and Bret rams his back into the post which isn’t a DQ somehow. Five Moves of Doom get some two counts. This is really boring. Booker tries his Jack Brisco sunset flip out of the corner but botches it badly. Booker gets a kick to put Bret down and follows it up with the axe kick and Bret is down. There’s a flapjack and Booker spins up. Missile dropkick gets two. And never mind as Bret hits Booker with a chair for a DQ. Give me a break.

 

Rating: D-. Just a really boring match here as Bret continues to be totally wasted. I mean seriously, Booker T is good but at this point he should have bowed down to Bret and thanked him for beating him for the TV Title. Bret would FINALLY get something a few weeks later, winning the vacant US Title. Still though, this was really bad and the ending hurt it horribly.

 

Bret destroys the knee until Stevie walks out and tells him to stop.

 

Video on Goldberg who won the title six days ago. Also Hall got destroyed earlier in the night. The video makes it look like Goldberg squashed Hall in about 9 seconds. I still can’t believe they just had Goldberg beat Hogan on 4 days’ notice for the title on free TV. But hey, they managed to beat Raw for one night. Who cares that it would have brought in hundreds of thousands of buys and millions of dollars on PPV?

 

WCW World Title: Goldberg vs. Curt Hennig

 

This was added during the week, probably on Thunder. Hennig of course bounces around like a pinball. Goldberg tries his rolling leg lock and messes it up so Curt hits the floor. He tries to go up top and that totally fails. Hennig tries to go after the leg and spends a minute or so doing that as the fans chant for the champion. This time Goldberg manages to get the leg lock but walks into the Perfectplex for two. Spear and Jackhammer end this maybe a second later.

 

Rating: D. Just a squash here which isn’t what is supposed to happen on a PPV in a world title match. It wasn’t anything we hadn’t seen a hundred times (literally) before. Goldberg would mow through everyone until the idiocy of Halloween Havoc and the further idiocy of Starrcade. Nothing match here that wasn’t even four minutes long.

 

We recap the main event. Basically WCW decided to bring in celebrities for the sake of bringing in celebrities, making the main event wrestler/NBA player vs. wrestler/NBA player. Allegedly Rodman wasn’t seen until a few hours before show time and was in no condition to perform here. Did I mention this match is going to have half an hour to fill?

 

Hulk Hogan/Dennis Rodman vs. Diamond Dallas Page/Karl Malone

 

I actually watched this show when it aired with a buddy of mine and he said it looked like Malone and Page jumped into a vat of glue with their jeans on. I think he’s onto something with that theory. For some reason the heels’ music changes from Voodoo Child to the traditional NWO song halfway through their entrance. Malone comes out to some bad rap song. Dang he has long arms.

 

The basketball players start us off and it’s time to stall. Minute and a half of no contact yet. Test of strength is teased but Malone slaps Rodman’s hand away. It was Malone’s idea mind you. Two minutes in now and no real contact. They lock up and Rodman grabs a headlock. And never mind as we need to stall some more as Rodman goes to the floor. 2:45 in now with a headlock being all the contact. The world title match was 3:50. Off to Hogan vs. Malone and they have a pose off. Test of strength is teased….and doesn’t happen.

 

This match is officially longer than the world title match and we’ve had a total of one headlock. I actually want to see how far they can take this. At 4:12, they lock up. Malone puts on a hold that I don’t have an actual name for. It’s kind of like a headlock I guess. Picture a guy setting for a left armed Rock Bottom and clasping his arms around and kind of holding them there. Malone slams him (not bad) and it’s off to Page. I don’t think I’ve ever been happier to see DDP in a match.

 

Page of course wants Rodman because we haven’t been bored enough yet. They lock up and it’s time to stall AGAIN. The fans chant boring and I can’t blame them. We’re at 6:00 now and here’s what’s happened so far: headlock, tieup, that hold Malone did, slam and another tieup. Seriously, NOTHING ELSE HAS HAPPENED. Jericho vs. Mysterio was 6:00 and it was bad, but at least it was a match.

 

They tieup again and Page shoves him off again. Page and Rodman spit at each other as we add an “armdrag” to the list of what’s gone on. This is now longer than Giant vs. Greene. The announcers freak and Hogan struts on the apron. Page grabs a headlock and even Tony is saying this is something of note finally. They collide and Rodman goes down. Another lockup and Rodman puts on headlock #4 as we hit the 8:00 mark.

 

We now see why Rodman is either drunk, high, or just awful at this. Rodman has a headlock on and Page tries to shoot him into the ropes. That’s a counter that I’m sure you’ve seen hundreds of times. Nothing special about it and perfectly normal. Rodman falls down and pulls Page with him, resulting in Page getting a two count. This is just embarrassing at this point. Actually it was embarrassing five minutes ago.

 

Page now with a head/chin lock and gets sent into the ropes. Rodman rams him with a shoulder block….and falls forward, allowing Page to get two again. Fans are openly booing now as Malone comes in. Rodman never gets up and tags Hogan. Hogan puts on a top wristlock which is shrugged off by Malone. Malone obviously isn’t skilled, but he’s trying and is fired up out there, which is really all you can ask for.

 

We’re over ten minutes in now and somehow that’s not even halfway through. Rodman actually does something as he hits a double axe to Malone to give Hulk the advantage. Hogan chokes a lot as you have to wonder why DDP vs. Hogan hasn’t gotten more time. I mean, they actually, know how to wrestle and such. Hogan slams him and drops some elbows. Back to Rodman who looks sleepy.

 

Rodman rams Malone into Hogan’s boot and it’s back to Hulk. Malone’s selling is pretty good actually. Off to a chinlock for a bit and Rodman comes in to hold Malone. Hogan punches Malone and Rodman falls down. Belly to back to Malone with Hogan making sure to be as careful as possible. Malone finally gets the hot tag to Page and he comes in off the top with a clothesline.

 

Things wake up for about 15 seconds until Rodman knees him in the back to let Hulk take over again. There’s the weightlifting belt to Page’s back. This is so boring it’s unreal. Double clothesline puts Page down. Hogan chokes him in the corner as we’re finally in a regular match with more than a move every three minutes. And never mind as that’s enough for Hogan so it’s off to Dennis again.

 

The heels seem like they don’t want to stay in the ring at all. Hogan suplexes Page and it’s back to The Worm. The fans chant for Page who at least fights back. Rodman puts a front chancery on as Malone plays cheerleader. The heels switch without a tag and the legdrop misses. Off to Malone who does some very basic stuff but does it well enough, all things considered. Double noggin knocker puts the heels down.

 

Malone hits a big boot and it’s not bad at all. Off to Page again and there’s the Diamond Cutter to FINALLY wake the crowd up. Malone hits what is supposed to be a Diamond Cutter on Rodman but was more like he grabbed Rodman’s shirt and pulled him down with it. The referee has to get Malone out so Disciple comes in to hit a Stunner on Page for Hogan to get the cheap pin.

 

Rating: N. As in no or not acceptable. This was the match that the show was sold on and it was atrocious. The idea of putting celebrities in the main event, even athletic ones, is stupid for one simple reason: they can’t wrestle. They’re not trained to do it and they don’t know how to do it.

 

Having Malone and Rodman as seconds or enforcers or whatever while Page and Hogan have a match is fine, but having like 8 minutes of stalling because they don’t know what to do isn’t fine. This is on WCW, not Rodman who at least showed something resembling interest (despite failing completely) and Malone who was trying. Horrible, HORRIBLE main event and match in general.

 

Malone hits a much better Diamond Cutter on Disciple post match. The referee gets one too as the NWO celebrates.

 

Overall Rating: D-. This is a fine example of how short term thinking can mess up a whole show. This was all messed up because the two big matches, as in the world title and main event, were either bad or really short due to the booking being changed or stupid from the beginning. The rest of the card is just your run of the mill WCW show which means it’s mostly weak with a good match sprinkled in here or there. Overall though this felt awful and like a nothing show, which isn’t good. Somehow it would get even worse next month with Hogan/Bischoff vs. DDP/Jay Leno. We’ll get to that later.
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