Monday Nitro #106
Date: September 22, 1997
Location: E Center, Salt Lake City, Utah
Attendance: 7,923
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, Larry Zbyszko

This is a pretty big night in wrestling history. First of all, Raw is debuting in Madison Square Garden with a confrontation between Vince and Austin. Therefore WCW is likely going to try to do something huge of their own, which in this case is the debut of someone new. Other than that we’ve got Jarrett vs. Hennig for Curt’s new US Title. We’re getting closer to Halloween Havoc as well. Let’s get to it.

We open at the announce table with the announcers (including Tony dang it all) saying how great tonight is going to be for WCW. Apparently there’s an announcement from Commissioner Piper. Bischoff comes up and says tonight will be about the NWO but Larry argues back at him. We get a clip of Fall Brawl 1996 where Eric got beaten up by Hall and Nash. Zbyzsko says that Eric would rather join them rather than fight, which is why they’ll screw him over in the end.

Silver King vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.

So we have Silver King vs. the King of Mystery. Rey gives his mask to a fan and takes Silver down with a headscissors before hooking a front facelock. The fans see something in the crowd as Silver gets ranaed out to the floor. Oh it’s Raven coming to his seat again. Rey hits a split legged moonsault for two followed by a reverse moonsault out of the corner for what should have been the pin. West Coast Pop is countered into a sunset flip for two for Silver. Cue Eddie as Rey gets another two off a rana. A superkick by Silver sets up a missed moonsault and the West Coast Pop gets the pin.

Rating: C. This would have been better if they cut out about 45 seconds. It was just a spot fest but some of the stuff looked great, especially when you consider how chubby Silver King was. The reverse rana looked great and probably should have ended things, but they needed to have Eddie out there so it’s understandable.

Eddie and Rey stare each other down to take us to a break.

Bill Goldberg vs. Hugh Morrus

Tenay has no idea who Goldberg is, shocking the other announcers. Larry: “YOU DON’T KNOW?” They trade hammerlocks to start and seem to miss each other a bit. Goldberg takes him down into a knee bar and pounds away in the corner. Morrus comes out of the corner with a middle rope clothesline and No Laughing Matter hits….for two? Goldberg pops up from a shoulder block and hits a powerslam and a regular slam to follow it up. The yet to be named Jackhammer ends this quick. As Goldberg says after the match: “That’s #1”.

Goldberg has nothing to say post match.

The NWO shows us some highlights of the Anderson parody.

We get a clip of Larry costing Hall his match at Fall Brawl. Tony: “This is a moment we will never forget.” I forgot it in about 12 seconds.

TV Title: Alex Wright vs. Disco Inferno

Wright is defending. Disco shoves him into the corner and gets slapped which fires him up. The fans don’t like Wright at all which is a good sign for him. Wright gets sent to the floor and walks in front of Raven before going back inside to crank on Disco’s arm. We take a break and come back with the champion hitting a spinwheel kick before stomping on Disco in the corner.

You would think the champion would follow up there but instead it’s time to dance. A belly to back suplex puts Wright down but he comes back with a back elbow for two. Wright hits a top rope stomp for no cover because it’s time to dance even more. Disco dodges a charge in the corner and pounds away before crotching Wright on the top rope. A swinging neckbreaker gets two for Disco but he misses a middle rope elbow. They both miss a few moves before both trying cross bodies at the same time. They collide in the air and Disco falls on top for the pin and the title in a shocker.

Rating: D+. The match itself wasn’t much but to say this was a surprise is an understatement. On the other hand though, I have almost no idea what the point is in having Disco win the title when Wright has been on fire lately and has the crowd HATING him. Disco on the other hand was just a comedy guy who hadn’t done anything in his entire WCW run until this point.

Post match here’s Jackie to say that she knows why Disco has been gone for six months and wants a match right now. Disco blows her off. I don’t see this ending well.

Here are Hall and Syxx to ask who the fans are here to see. Hall rips on Larry Z a bit for costing him a match at the PPV before challenging Luger to a rematch. When there’s no Lex, Hall calls out Larry Z instead. Zbyszko comes to the ring but says he won’t get in until it’s one on one. The man was boring as sin but he wasn’t an idiot. Syxx won’t leave so Larry walks away. We do however get someone to answer Hall’s challenge.

Scott Hall vs. Hector Garza

Hall beats on Garza to start and rips referee Mark Curtis’ pocket off. A fallaway slam off the middle rope puts Garza down before tormenting the referee again. Garza grabs a rollup out of nowhere for the shocking pin.

Hall destroys Garza and Curtis post match.

It’s Hour #2.

Ciclope/Juventud Guerrera/Lizmark Jr./Ultimo Dragon vs. Villanos/La Parka/Psychosis

Dragon and Psychosis start things off with Dragon taking over quickly before doing the headstand in the corner. He throws in some splits for good measure and things start speeding up. We’re in lucha rules so hitting the floor is as good as a tag. Things start going fast enough that I can’t keep up with them. Ciclope superkicks a Villano to the floor before it’s Lizmark vs. the other Villano.

Everything breaks down and I have no idea who is legal here. We finally get down to a Vllano vs. Lizmark but they both go to the floor almost immediately. Lizmark hits a big dive onto said Villano but hurts his knee in the process. Now it’s time for everyone to unleash the dives until it’s Dragon vs. Psychosis. Sonny Onoo breaks up the super rana but Psychosis dives onto Sonny by mistake. Back inside Juvy crotches La Parka and hits a springboard rana to get him back to the mat. A rolling cradle gets the pin for Juvy on La Parka.

Rating: C+. This was INSANE with everyone diving at various times and no coherence at all. That’s what a match like this is supposed to be like though and the fans were getting into it. This is when things were still awesome with all of the diving before people started imitating this style and not being as good at it.

Here’s Commissioner Piper to make Luger vs. Hall again at Halloween Havoc, but with Larry as a special referee. The cage match with Hogan is still on and even though “NWA” is for life, Piper is forever. Somehow this took over five minutes.

Lee Marshall wastes a minute of our time.

Steiner Brothers vs. Faces of Fear

Scott and Meng start things off with the Steiner taking him down by the arm. They collide a few times with neither guy being able to move. They try it again and this time Steiner runs him over. Everything breaks down and the Steiners clear the ring. We settle down to Barbarian vs. Rick with Rick powerslamming Barbie down for two before it’s back to Scott.

A full nelson suplex puts Barbarian down but here’s Meng for their backdrop into a powerbomb spot for two. The monsters hit a double headbutt to Scott before a slam gets two for Barbarian. Scott comes back with a double clothesline and there’s the hot tag to Rick. Everything breaks down but Meng breaks up the Steiner Bulldog. Meng escapes a few suplexes and the Tongan Death Grip pins Rick.

Rating: C. This was a decent power brawl with a surprising ending. The Faces of Fear continued to win matches which would lead nowhere while the Steiners would get even more tag title matches against the Outsiders. This was a decent match though and I can’t believe there was a clean loss for the Steiners.

Here are Hogan and Bischoff with Hollywood wearing Flair’s robe. Naturally Tony is sickened by this, but that happens whenever there’s a stiff breeze around Nitro. Hogan wants Sting as usual and bows to Hennig for what he did at Fall Brawl. Piper is going to go down at Havoc.

Post break Savage says Liz will be walking down the aisle with Hennig tonight. Ok then.

Randy Savage vs. Stevie Richards

Savage stalls to start. Again Richards? Raven is watching from ringside as usual before we head inside for Randy pounds away. Even LIZ gets in some choking. Savage drops Richards on the barricade in front of Raven which causes a staredown. Now THAT is a feud that sounds intriguing. Back in and the big elbow ends this easily. Total squash and not enough actual wrestling to rate.

Post match Raven gets in and pulls up his knee pads but lays out Richards instead.

Harlem Heat vs. Scott Norton/Konnan

There’s no Stevie for no apparent reason. Booker says Ray has pulled his Achilles so he’ll fight either Konnan or Norton right now. The NWO says this is supposed to be a tag match so it’s a handicap match. Konnan starts and misses a charge into the corner but comes back with a backdrop. That gets him nowhere as Booker pops up with a SPINAROONI and the side kick for two.

Booker tries to speed things up but Norton low bridges him to the floor. Even Vincent gets in some shots before it’s back inside for a full nelson slam from Booker. Booker keeps fighting back but eventually is caught in a spike piledriver to kill him dead. In a really stupid ending, Vincent comes in to beat on Booker as well for the DQ. Was there a point to this that I’m just missing?

Rating: D. This was barely long enough to rate and it wasn’t any good on top of that. Booker would go on to huge heights while Konnan and Norton never were a full time team. I’m assuming Buff is hurt or maybe they’re just swapping the guys out for fun at this point. This came off like pure filler.

The Nitro Girls dance a bit.

US Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Curt Hennig

Feeling out process to start with Hennig being sent to the floor. Back in and Curt gets sent right back outside as we’re filling in time. Back in again and Jeff hits a dropkick for two, sending the champion right back out to the floor. Curt comes in again and goes for the leg, hitting a chop block and wrapping it around the post. Hennig tries a chair shot against the post but Jeff sends Hennig into the chair instead.

A hot shot into the barricade has Hennig in trouble but the crowd isn’t all that interested. Granted it’s probably because that’s Jeff Jarrett out there beating Hennig up. Curt clotheslines Jeff out to the floor again (noticing a pattern here?) but Jeff crotches him against the post to take over. A swinging neckbreaker hits Perfect to put both guys down.

There’s a sleeper by Curt which doesn’t last long at all. Hennig fires off more kicks to Jeff but walks into a DDT for no cover. Now Jeff starts going after Hennig’s knee before hitting the signature slingshot to Curt. Liz distracts the referee as Jeff puts on the Figure Four. Savage sneaks in to hand Curt the title which knocks out Jeff to allow for the PerfectPlex to retain.

Rating: D+. You know for two guys who are as old school as these two, the chemistry wasn’t working at all here. They spent a lot of the time on the floor but the crowd didn’t seem to care at all. Like I said though, Jarrett didn’t get anyone to care and the match was heatless as a result. Thankfully he would be gone in two weeks.

Post match Jarrett gets beaten down until Giant makes the save to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This wasn’t their best show of the year. Other than Goldberg debuting which wasn’t a big deal for a long time, not a lot happened on this show. We had two of the top matches officially announced even though it was clear those were already going to happen. This wasn’t a bad show but there’s nothing on it worth seeing other than a three minute match for history’s sake.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Yet another idea that hasn’t been used in like 15 years.Goldberg debuted on Nitro seemingly as a jobber.  Tenay, the WCW announcer who seemingly knew everything, had no idea who Goldberg was or knew anything about him.  Ignoring the winning streak and all that jazz, that’s a pretty smart way to debut someone.  Don’t give them a character, don’t give them anything unique, don’t tell us anything about them, but have the guy win and fill in the background later.  It’s better than a ballroom dancer, no?

I’m suffering through this one at the moment and something sticks out.Vince put a bounty on Austin’s head in this match, promising $100,000 to anyone who eliminated him.  My question: why don’t we see that more often?  That’s a really solid idea to set up a feud in the future between two guys or to advance another one they have going at the moment.  The only other instance I can think of since then is HHH promising money to anyone who took out Goldberg.  Why it’s never been done again in the Rumble is beyond me.

Armageddon 2003
Date: December 14, 2003
Location: TD Waterhouse Centre, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 9,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

 

We continue this series with 2003’s show, which something tells me won’t be all that good. The main event is Kane vs. Goldberg vs. HHH for the Raw world title. This is Raw only so we’re not going to see much else other than that of note. This was a bad time for the company as the whole show on Raw was about HHH and there wasn’t much else to say. Benoit was on the rise though and that guy named Cena was making some noise on Smackdown. Anyway let’s get to this.

 

Foley has some authority here which I don’t remember at all.

 

Lillian sings the national anthem. Oh ok this is right after Sadaam Hussein was caught. That explains it.

 

The opening video quotes the Bible a lot.

 

Booker T vs. Mark Henry

 

Henry is getting a big heel push here which would be over soon. He beat Booker at Survivor Series to eliminate him from that match. Henry won a street fight also so we finish the feud with a regular match of course. Booker goes straight at him and that fails pretty quickly. Teddy Long manages Henry because they’re both black I guess. Henry tosses him to the floor and Booker fires off a kick. That gets him rammed into the steps so I guess that was a bad idea.

 

Booker manages a plancha to the floor and Henry is rocked a bit. Back in and the missile dropkick gets two. Henry gets him in position for the World’s Strongest Slam but I guess falling all the way down is too much for him so he settles for a backbreaker. Bow and arrow goes on and Henry is dominating. Off to the chinlock now to waste some time. Booker keeps slapping the mat but that’s not a tap because it’s not the planned finish I guess.

 

Oh now it’s a bearhug for rest hold #3 in a row. I guess the resting took too much out of Henry. Henry takes him down again but misses a legdrop to give Booker a breather. Booker gets in some kicks and the axe kick gets two. Henry gets a spinebuster for two as Henry is spent. Leg drop hits as Ross blames Henry’s lack of experience. Are you kidding me? Another slam gets two. And out of nowhere Booker gets a kick to the ribs and the second scissors kick to end it. Totally random ending.

 

Rating: D+. Not bad but Booker was in against someone that he couldn’t carry for the most part. Henry is someone that doesn’t need to be out there for nearly ten minutes, especially in the opening match. Not much here as for the most part it was pretty dull. Also the ending being all insane didn’t help.

 

Bischoff tells Christian and Jericho that they need to beat Lita and Trish tonight. Jericho is apprehensive about this which would lead to his face turn. They’re interrupted by Foley’s music in the arena.

 

Here’s Foley complete with a cheap pop for saying Orlando. There’s a petition to bring Austin back apparently and there are a lot of signatures on it. Stacy comes out as a cheerleader to celebrate with Foley for getting that many signatures. Even Foley does a cartwheel. Here’s Evolution to complain though, in the form of Orton and Flair. Orton vs. Foley was teased forever but they didn’t pull the trigger for a long time. Orton says Austin is gone and Orton wants the IC Title. Foley takes off his shirt and is refereeing the IC Title match, which is RIGHT NOW.

 

Intercontinental Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Randy Orton

 

Rob takes him down quickly and Orton heads to the floor. Back in and we get some surprisingly decent chain wrestling, resulting in a standoff. Rob gets a shot to the ribs and a cross body off the top for two. Spinwheel kick puts Orton on the floor as Rob has been in control nearly the entire match so far. Big dive takes Orton out again as Rob threatens Flair a bit.

 

Slingshot legdrop gets two. He tries to go up again but Orton manages to shove him off, flying into the railing in one of his signature spots. Out to the floor and Orton gets that awesome dropkick of his. Back in and Orton chokes away with Rob making a hilarious face at the same time. Foley pulls Orton off Rob and Flair is TICKED.

 

Orton takes over with his usual stuff. Well usual for this time at least. It’s so weird to see him with only a few tattoos and normal looking skin. There’s the chinlock just to confirm it’s an Orton match. Big clothesline by Orton but he poses instead of covering. Seated dropkick gets two and it’s chinlock city again. Rob grabs a rolling cradle out of nowhere for two.

 

Split legged moonsault gets two. Orton hits a move of his I’ve always loved: he puts Rob on his shoulder like for a powerbomb and steps forward, pulling Rob down into a neckbreaker. Love that. Oh look here’s another chinlock. I know that’s a cliché for him but it’s true. Rob fights out of it after WAY too long and hits his spin kick to take over.

 

Off to the floor again and with Orton draped over the railing, Rob hits that spinwheel kick off the apron. Elevated DDT coming back in gets two. Knee drop by Orton misses and Van Dam gets a rollup with his legs for two. Rolling Thunder hits and there goes Flair whose hair is DRENCHED. Spinning kick takes down Randy again and it’s Five Star time. Flair has something in his hand but Foley takes him down. Orton dropkicks Rob off the ropes and there’s the RKO for the title.

 

Rating: C+. Pretty good here but Orton clearly didn’t know how to work a long match, although to be fair he still pretty much doesn’t. Van Dam is a weird guy to have carry you so Orton had to do a lot here. Foley would get spat on the next night and leave until the Rumble and then wrestle against Orton at Mania and Backlash. Either way, not bad here but not a classic.

 

We recap Christian/Jericho vs. Trish/Lita. This was a long story but a pretty good one at the same time. Jericho and Christian tried to hook up with Trish and Lita respectively with a secret bet being that whoever got to sleep with their respective chick first wins a single dollar, Canadian. Trish started to fall for Jericho and then overheard the whole story behind the bet.

 

The girls came out and held up the Canadian dollar that Christian put down for the bet. They actually beat up the Canadian guys and Eric made an intergender tag match. Jericho however started to feel bad about all this, beginning his face turn. This was a really good story and it worked all the way through Mania.

 

Chris Jericho/Christian vs. Lita/Trish Stratus

 

JR says that Bischoff is like Hussein. No, he isn’t. Jericho and Trish start us off and Jericho tries to explain. A right hand slap misses but the left connects. After all those years of Trish being the best female wrestler in the country, Trish becomes a slap fighter. Jericho spanks her which wakes Trish up a bit so she starts firing off some headscissors and dropkicks.

 

Christian tags himself in and wants Lita. Lita at least tries some more leverage and speed moves which is what she does in her regular matches so it makes sense. A slam puts Lita down and it’s off to Jericho. Then he stands on her hair and pulls her up. FREAKING OW MAN!!! Lita counters a powerbomb into a rana and it’s off to Christian. There goes Lita’s top which makes Christian far more popular.

 

Lita manages to get a low blow in and there’s Trish. THANKFULLY she wakes up and fights like she’s capable of doing, snapping off her forearms and the Chick Kick. Stratusfaction doesn’t work but she ducks to avoid a charging Christian and he goes to the floor. Lita crotches Jericho but the Stratusphere doesn’t work. Christian gets two but the Matrish sends Christian into Jericho for two. Lita snaps off a rana which she does better than almost anyone. Jericho checks on Trish and Christian rolls her up for the pin.

 

Rating: C. All things considered, not too bad here. Once Trish remembered how to wrestle this got a lot better. The men vs. women matches can work and this got close as the girls weren’t out there using nothing but chokes and slaps as they used their regular stuff and it worked pretty well. Not a great match or anything but for the purposes of this it was fine.

 

We recap Shawn vs. Batista. Shawn was the last man standing in the Survivor Series match and was making an incredibly comeback but Batista ran in and drilled Shawn with the Batista Bomb and Shawn couldn’t get up from that. Eric and Shawn blamed each other for Austin being gone as per the stipulations of the loss. Batista said he cost Shawn his job and Shawn said come get some, hence the following match.

 

Shawn Michaels vs. Batista

 

Batista hadn’t been back long after a triceps injury so this is one of his first major singles feuds. This is Shawn’s 68^th PPV match. That’s a pretty awesome number, especially when this is Batista’s third match on PPV. Flair is with Batista here again. Shawn snaps off some punches in the corner which don’t do much damage but they’re something I guess. More of them land and Batista is getting annoyed.

 

Shawn fires some kicks into the leg and tags Ric on the floor. Back in the ring Batista gets his hands on Shawn and the pain begins. Suplex gets two. Big Dave works on the back which is still the focal point of Shawn every time he’s out there. There’s the forearm but Batista kills him with a clothesline after the nipup. To the floor we go and Shawn eats steps.

 

More back worth by Dave, this time in the form of a backbreaker. Shawn starts his comeback with a bunch of strikes and there’s a second forearm/nipup. A two handed choke by Batista is countered into a DDT to put both guys down. The big elbow hits and the fans are into it all of a sudden. Chin music is countered into a spinebuster though and there’s a second one. Batista Bomb is countered out of nowhere and Shawn hits the kick, falling on top for the pin.

 

Rating: B-. Not terrible but I wasn’t feeling the ending. I get the theory of it, which is Shawn can’t go toe to toe with him and needs to use his experience to get that one big shot in to take Batista down, but that doesn’t mean it worked. Not a bad match but Batista was still getting the hang of things and it showed. Shawn helped him through a lot of this, and that’s the point of a veteran.

 

Maven vs. Matt Hardy

 

Maven comes out while Batista is still in the ring and Big Dave is MAD. This is still Matt Hardy V 1.0. Today’s Matt fact is that his fingernails go quickly. They start it out on the ramp as Batista and Flair are still in the ring. Matt throws Maven into the ring and Batista kills him with some clotheslines and various other attacks, finishing it with the Bomb. Make that a pair of Bombs. No match due to the attack. This match was added on Heat so it’s not like this is some huge match that they’re taking from us. Matt counts a pin of his own which doesn’t count.

 

In the back Batista is still freaking out. See what I mean about the whole show being around one set of people? Flair tells him they’re walking out with title belts tonight.

 

Raw Tag Titles: Tag Team Turmoil

 

Gauntlet match more or less, with two teams starting and the winners advancing to face the next team. There are six teams total and we start with La Resistance vs. Rosey/Hurricane. The Dudleys are the champions coming in. Rosey takes over on Conway to start but it’s off to Hurricane very quickly. Out to the floor quickly which goes nowhere so back in for a full nelson by Conway.

 

Swinging neckbreaker gets no count because he’s under the ropes. Dupree comes in as we talk about France in Iraq. Never let it be said that Vince passes up a chance to cheer on AMERICA. Hurricane gets a face buster to escape and there’s a double tag. Rosey cleans house and throws out Dupree. A super splash off the shoulders of Rosey off the second rope ends Conway.

 

Mark Jindrak and Garrison Cade are in next, running through the crowd and stealing a rollup pin in maybe 20 seconds.

 

In next are Storm and Venis with the new guys taking over on Jindrak who escapes to bring in Cade. The fans tell Storm he’s boring which is a point to his character at this point. Storm speeds things up a bit but double teaming by the heels takes the heel down. Wait, actually I guess Storm and Venis are good guys. Works for me I guess. Storm avoids a splash in the corner and here’s Venis.

 

Val cleans house, destroying both guys with relative ease. He was always a pretty steady hand so that doesn’t really surprise me. Lance hits a Cactus Clothesline to take himself and Cade out. Val tries a suplex to bring Jindrak back in but it’s the Warrior at Mania 5 ending for them.

 

Team number five are the Dudleys, the reigning champions. The Dudleys take over and it’s a Tree of Woe for Cade. They’re only ten time champions here so this is a LONG time ago for them. Off to D-Von and Jindrak with Jindrak hitting a clothesline to get two. Jindrak isn’t that good at stomping. Cade goes up but mostly misses an elbow. Double tag and Bubba cranks it up. Everything breaks down and D-Von and Jindrak trade rollups. Dropkick misses and 3D ends Jindrak.

 

The final team is Steiner/Test. Bubba may have hurt his shoulder. Double team on Bubba but he manages to take Test down. Suplex sends Bubba flying and Test works on his arm a bit. We finally get something normal going with Steiner vs. Bubba. Steiner drops the elbow and actually covers, getting two. Fujiwara Armbar by Steiner and it’s off to Test who works on the arm even more.

 

Up to the corner and Bubba shoves Test off and ACTUALLY HITS THE BACKSPLASH!!! I’ve never seen him hit that ever and shockingly enough the guy he hit it on is now dead. Double tag brings in Steiner and D-Von. Neckbreaker takes Scotty down and another one to Test gets two. Double teaming occurs by the challengers and Test gets a sidewalk slam for two. Test accidentally kicks Steiner but Test gets a full nelson slam to D-Von for two. Nice move by the Canadian to send in the belt as a decoy and then he gets a chair shot with the referee distracted. Doesn’t work as a Bubba Bomb gets the pin on Test but nice idea.

 

That would be the end in theory but here’s Bischoff to announce that there’s a final team, who have used their favor for winning at Survivor Series. Yep it’s Flair/Batista. This lasts about 90 seconds and the Dudleys get in maybe two punches combined. Batista gets the powerbomb on D-Von for the titles.

 

Rating: C-. Hard to call these because they’re more or less just a bunch of Raw matches thrown together into a 20 minute match. It’s ok but if you’ve seen one of these you’ve seen the vast majority of them. It really does show you how weak the division is when the Dudleys are the only realistic team that could win in there. Nothing great but I’ve seen worse.

 

We hear about Christmas in Baghdad a bit and we get some clips of a press conference about it.

 

Raw Women’s Title: Molly Holly vs. Ivory

 

This is a bonus match. Molly is champion and there’s no story to this whatsoever. The thing with Molly at this point is she’s a virgin and she’s frustrated all the time. From what I remember she was a virgin until she was married in real life. That’s rather cool. Molly is sent to the floor as no one cares about this at all. Ivory hits a flip off the apron to take Molly down again.

 

Back inside as there’s nothing going on here at all. You can tell this is the food break match before the main event and that’s fine. You have to have one of those I guess. Armbar goes on by Molly as we talk about anything but this match. JR apologizes for having nothing to say because he doesn’t have any notes for it. Molly hits a Muta elbow for two. Ivory gets a rollup which is reversed into one by Molly for the pin.

 

Rating: D+. Just a match really here. Was there going to be anything of note here at all expected? It’s just a bonus match so it’s not like you can really complain here. Neither of these chicks would wind up doing anything else in the division for more or less the rest of time, so there you are.

 

We recap the main event. Goldberg beat HHH at Survivor Series on a broken ankle. You would think that would end the feud but HHH said we’re not done yet. Then Kane just kind of jumped in for no apparent reason. A triple threat was made and we get a music video out of it.

 

Raw World Title: Kane vs. HHH vs. Goldberg

 

Goldberg is champion. The first minute is literally just standing around yelling at each other. Way to use that PPV time guys! The first shot hits after about a minute and twenty seconds and Goldberg gets double teamed. After a solid beating, Goldberg gets a shot in via a clothesline but Kane takes him down with ease. Goldberg fights them both off for a bit and knocks HHH to the floor.

 

Kane sits up and it’s time for the showdown. After the taller one takes over, Goldberg gets a spinning neckbreaker but HHH comes back in before he can capitalize. The top rope clothesline is countered by a slam but Goldberg actually can’t get HHH up for a gorilla press. Spear is loaded up and the crowd gets up for it, only for Kane to kick his head off and hammer away on his fellow member of the bald brotherhood.

 

Double suplex to Goldberg and HHH applauds Kane, who hits a powerslam on Billy Boy. HHH tries to steal the pin and we knew we’d get here eventually. HHH gets knocked to the floor but Kane clothesline Goldberg on the top rope. JR calls it bowling shoe ugly as HHH pops Kane with a chair to prevent a chokeslam. Goldberg gets the chair and goes to Pillmanize HHH’s ankle like HHH hired Batista to do.

 

Kane saves the Game for no apparent reason. I guess this doesn’t have a password system. Out to the floor and we load up the announce table. Goldberg fights Kane off and tries to Jackhammer him through the table, but HHH gets a chair shot in to break it up. Kane chokeslams the other bald dude on the table but it doesn’t break. HHH drops an elbow to put him though it though and pops him with a chair also.

 

Kane sees HHH holding the chair and isn’t happy. Then again Kane is never happy so that works out well. Kane actually lets HHH live, only to be sent into the steps as soon as he turns his back. Pedigree on the floor doesn’t work and Kane goes all evil again. Back in the ring and Kane hits some of his signature spots. The big clothesline looks to set up the chokeslam, but HHH gets a thumb to the eye to break it up.

 

DDT puts Kane down but Kane sits up. Neckbreaker doesn’t get a cover either so Kane sits up again. They fight to the floor as Goldberg is still down. Pretty weak chokeslam on the ramp so only Kane is left standing. Everyone gets back in the ring and Goldberg spears Kane down for two. Everybody punches everybody and Goldberg takes over. Another spear to Kane and one to HHH as well. Cue Evolution and we keep going. Goldberg and Kane choke each other to huge booing and there’s a low blow to set up the chokeslam on Goldberg. Batista pops up to pull Kane out so HHH can steal the title.

 

Rating: D+. This ran twenty minutes which is really not something that you want to do when you have three people that work more or less the exact same style. Not a very good match here as this got old quickly. It’s also rather boring to see the same stuff over and over again in three ways. This really needed a different guy besides Kane out there to change up the styles and it would have helped a lot if that had been the case.

 

Overall Rating: D. Really weak show here with nothing at all being very good. The total Evolution dominance isn’t that interesting either as it’s all the same stuff over and over again all night long. I’ve seen worse shows, but at the same time things just dragged on this show. This is another example of a show that would have been ok as an In Your House, but as a regular PPV, this wasn’t very good at all. Nothing to see here.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Halloween Havoc 1998
Date: October 25, 1998
Location: MGM Grand Garden Arena, Las Vegas, Nevada
Attendance: 10,663
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, Mike Tenay

This is a rather famous show for all the wrong reasons. If 1997 was the bullet that took down WCW (which it was), this was the infection that got into the wound and caused them to die. There are so many things wrong with this show I’m really not sure where to start. Ok I am but that sounds good. There’s a double main event tonight with Hogan vs. Warrior II and DDP vs. Goldberg. I’m pretty sure you know why this was a disaster for the company, but I’ll go into details for that at the end. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is of course all about Hogan! Well did you expect something else? It’s the whole Gregorian Chant thing with images of Hogan and Warrior. Oh and there’s the world champion and there’s his challenger.

I always did like the massive pumpkin set for this series. That was kind of cool. This crowd is LOUD! I’m actually having trouble understanding Tony’s opening stuff. This is the second version of the tape that I’ve tried to watch and both had the same issues so it’s not just this version. Bobby puts on a mask while Tony is talking to Tenay so the reaction is really funny.

The Nitro Girls dance. You know, not on Nitro. Keep that in mind. They point out that this is their PPV debut, making it kind of stupid. The music on this show is WAY too loud as it’s drowning out the commentary. Apparently there have been three matches added, one for a title and one where the winner gets a title shot later in the night. Uh, ok then.

We really open the show with an interview with Rick Steiner. Really that’s the best guy you had to open things up here? It’s Rick vs. Scott tonight and Rick sees him as just another opponent. Cue Buff Bagwell, a friend of Scott’s that Rick injured on Nitro, legitimately injuring his neck. Bagwell says he’s sick of Scott and wants to be in Rick’s corner tonight. Yeah they’re not giving away the ending to that match at all. Apparently Buff needs permission from JJ Dillon to do that.

TV Title: Raven vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho with the title here. Raven’s music is WAY too up tempo for him. Again with the loud music as I can only hear little bits of what Tony is saying. Something about a losing streak? Raven has been acting differently recently, even tapping out at one point. Jericho is a cocky heel here, meaning he’s hilarious. Raven says his losing streak isn’t his fault and what about me, what about Raven, what about me. He wasn’t informed about this match and he doesn’t feel like wrestling. So he was given a title match and he’s mad about it?

Jericho says he doesn’t want to be here either but all the Jericoholics came here to see him (is he a heel here?) because Jericho equals buyrates, people in the seats and rock and roll. I’m really not sure what Jericho is here. Yeah he’s a face. Jericho calls him a loser and here’s Raven, starting the match about 13 and a half minutes into the show. Jericho whips him with the jacket and avoids a clothesline to take over.

Raven hits a Cactus Clothesline and we’re on the floor. Crowd is HOT. Raven sets up the steps and throws Jericho on them in a front face suplex. Jericho may have hurt his shoulder and/or knee. Oh and the Flock is gone by this point. They keep mentioning it so maybe it’s important? Jericho gets a hot shot to reverse things and a springboard dropkick to send Raven back to the floor.

His advantage is short lived though as Jericho gets sent into the railing and both men are down. Raven tries to set up the steps but is whipped into the railing instead. Raven’s shirt that he ties around his waist comes off so he chokes away with it. There’s a sleeper by the bird man but Jericho is out very soon. Jericho unhooks the buckle and the referee is just fine with it.

Jericho charges at Raven but gets powerbombed for his efforts. He catapults the Canadian into the buckle and Jericho is stunned. Clothesline gets two. Jericho misses a spinkick and in the fastest I’ve ever seen Raven move he immediately grabs Chris and gets a spinning belly to belly for two. They are MOVING out there. German suplex is rolled through by Jericho but he can’t get the Liontamer.

Ok scratch that yes he can but Raven grabs the rope for the break. Raven is wrestling with his eye piercing in. That is so dangerous it’s not even funny. Raven counters a whip in and gets the DDT out of nowhere for two. I don’t think I’ve ever seen that kicked out of. They speed it up again but Jericho hits Raven low and gets a German for two. Kanyon comes out of nowhere and jumps up on the apron so Jericho sends Raven into him. Liontamer ends it seconds later.

Rating: B+. Where in the world did this come from??? This was a great match and easily the fastest pace I’ve ever seen Raven go at. The crowd was into it the whole way and the false finish on the DDT was great. I was really liking this although it would have helped a bit to not have Kanyon there so randomly. Either way, great stuff indeed. Jericho jumping up and down in celebration is hilarious.

Here come Bischoff and Hogan to talk. Keep in mind that we’ve had the girls dancing and now two promos. We’re about 22 minutes into the show at this point so keep that in mind. Hogan is in an NWO Nitro shirt. Bischoff says Hogan represents family values. Uh ok? Hogan says that all his fans love him and all that jazz. He talks about beating up his nephew Horace (real nephew, real awful) for not being ready to be a disciple or something. We see the beating and Hogan says he went a bit too far. Bischoff is just there to hold the mic. Oh and he’s going to beat up Warrior. Total waste of five minutes.

Meng vs. Wrath

Yeah see what I mean about pointless stuff? Wrath was getting something resembling a push around this time and would ultimately be beaten by Rick Steiner the next month in a TV Title match that ended anything he had going because he was starting to get a pop. We head to the floor quickly and Wrath gets a front flip onto Meng from the apron. Nice one too. Back in and after some clotheslines he can’t hit the Meltdown (pumphandle slam).

Meng goes on offense and this is turning into a weak TV match. I’m very surprised Meng had a job at this point. What in the world was he going to add to any company here? Either way he’s doing nothing special here at all. Meng does his basic evil Samoan (Tongan in this case) offense and we get a nerve hold. Wrath hits a Rock Bottom to counter for two and then the Meltdown hits to end it. Sweet goodness this was dull.

Rating: D. Dang that three minute rule. I hate it so much during matches such as this one. This was bad of course and never once got even the slightest big interesting. This wasn’t put on the VHS release and I think you’ll get why later on. Again, note that they wasted another five minutes on this joke of a match.

Disco Inferno vs. Juventud Guerrera

Winner gets Kidman later tonight for the Cruiserweight Title. Juvy has no mask at this point. Disco goes after Juvy to start as the cameraman looks like he’s having issues standing up. They speed things up and Guerrera gets a LOUD chop. Headscissors takes Disco down and I think they botch a Famerasser but it might have been ok. Ah there it is.

Another loud chop in the corner and a monkey flip sends Disco out to the floor. Headscissors takes Disco down but the hair acts as a shield. Back in and Disco gets an atomic drop and a clothesline but dances instead of covering because he’s not incredibly intelligent. Middle rope elbow gets two and we hit the chinlock. Heenan suggests that Disco needs a manager in a random comment.

Juvy gets a stunner on the rope to take over again. He sets for a springboard but Disco hits the floor to hide. Juvy is like get back here you scoundrel and hits a pescado. Back in and Guerrera keeps out moving him. Juvy Driver is reversed into a reverse suplex which is reversed into a hot shot and swinging neckbreaker for Disco for two. Disco blocks a sunset flip and does a Macarena. Why can’t I escape that thing???

Disco busts out a giant swing and falls onto Guerrera’s balls in a Sting spot. Vertical suplex results in more dancing. Disco goes up but gets crotched and there’s a top rope rana for no cover. Instead he goes up again and a spinwheel kick gets two. Juvy does Rey’s sitout bulldog for two. Victory roll is blocked and Disco gets a SWEET jumping Piledriver with Juvy just stopping dead for the pin.

Rating: B-. Far better match than you would expect here. Disco was actually underrated as his gimmick overshadowed what he could do in the ring. This was a fun match and even though I’m not really a fan of Guerrera he looked quite good here too. One of Disco’s better matches actually.

Here’s another 75 seconds wasted as the Nitro Girls dance again. They look good but is this the best way to use PPV time?

After that here we have another four and a half minutes wasted with Scott Steiner to say that tonight is a night off for him. He insults Steiner and Bagwell but instead of Rick vs. Scott, it’s Rick/Bagwell vs. Scott/Giant. Giant and Scott Hall are tag champions but Hall is injured. Well of course this is fine. A thrown together team is getting a title shot at the non champions. JJ Dillon comes out and says ok, but if they lose the titles then it’s Rick vs. Scott. You know, THE ADVERTISED MATCH. How can this company continue to be this stupid?

Alex Wright vs. Fit Finlay

Another match not on the home video. Finlay meant nothing by this point and Wright meant about the same, so let’s give them five minutes of PPV time! Oh ok they had a match on Thunder and this is the rematch. Don’t both to tell us who won or why they’re fighting or anything like that guys. Let’s talk about Warrior vs. Hogan instead!

Back and forth match that isn’t half bad actually, but that doesn’t mean it belongs on this show and taking up PPV time. We have the Nitro Girls to look at if we want to waste time. Wright controls to start, Finlay beats him down, more talk of Hogan vs. Warrior, Wright gets a random neckbreaker to get the win. Again, why in the world was this on PPV? It’s eating up time and is a good reason for the ending of the show.

Rating: C. Not a bad match but dang man, what’s the point? That’s the issue I have with this show: there is so much pointless crap on here that it’s killing the show. We’ve had two good matches so far but then we have these random TV matches that aren’t anything special at all and could have been given to wrestlers that matter. Such a waste of time.

Saturn vs. Lodi

Is this someone’s idea of a joke? Saturn had freed the Flock and Lodi is mad about it so there you are. Lodi being billed as from anywhere other than Las Vegas is kind of funny I guess. Anyway this is another nothing match as Saturn was in the midcard at this point and getting some traction so he beats on Lodi for awhile to reaffirm his manliness. Total squash and the Death Valley Driver ends it. No rating, but keep in mind that Lodi is on PPV and Benoit or Malenko aren’t. Let that sink in for a bit. Not on the video either.

The announcers talk about the main events and the tag titles. This is idiotic.

Oh look: another minute wasted on the Nitro Girls. No Benoit or Maleno or Eddie, but a third performance by these chicks.

Cruiserweight Title: Billy Kidman vs. Disco Inferno

The bell rings 8 times to start the match which is a bit more than you’re used to. Kidman uses speed to take over to start and gets a great dropkick. He was awesome back in the day and really was the best in the division for a long time. Disco was the kind of wrestler that was a Cruiserweight in name only as he wrestled like a heavyweight. He keeps using the hair so Kidman keeps nipping up.

Kidman finally gets ticked off and stomps the heck out of Disco to take over a bit. Disco takes him to the mat and uses his rare power advantage to take over on the champion. He makes fun of Kidman being young which doesn’t make a ton of sense. We hit the floor and Kidman gets a bulldog onto the concrete to put both guys down. Back in a top rope splash misses and Disco gets two off of the crash.

We hit the chinlock for a bit. Disco gets a flapjack and dances, completely killing him momentum. He’s really wasting time, yelling after almost every single move he hits. BK Bomb (Sky High) gets two but Kidman can’t really capitalize. He runs into an elbow but gets a powerslam for two. Piledriver is reversed but hits the second time. Disco rolls the wrong way though so it only gets two.

The reaction of Disco freaking out is kind of funny. In a NICE counter, Kidman tries to run up the corner and get a bulldog but Disco twists around and turns it into a suplex. Gordbuster gets two. He tries another Piledriver but does a Macarena first. Kidman counters into a facecrusher and the Shooting Star Press ends this.

Rating: C. This was really just a long TV match. There isn’t much going on here at all that was anything special. Kidman was way out of Disco’s league here, meaning Kidman was way better. He should have been elevated up from the Cruiserweights but this was WCW so that was downright sacrilegious. Again, why did the first match for Disco need to be here? It’s another waste of time.

Speaking of wasting time, let’s spend five minutes on Konnan’s music video. This marks at least 15 minutes, not counting Disco vs. Juvi or the other matches, that EASILY could have been cut but weren’t.

Tag Titles: The Giant/Scott Steiner vs. Buff Bagwell/Rick Steiner

Bagwell is in street clothes. If the NWO loses the titles then Scott has to face Rick. Oh and the NWO has NWO rules, which means Freebird Rules. I forgot to mention: around this time the movie Bride of Chucky was coming out and Chucky appeared on Nitro and cut a promo about Scott Steiner. Yeah it was really dumb but they mention it here.

Giant is in a t-shirt for some reason. He chops away at Rick who he started with if you didn’t get that. Off to Scott and the fans react to this matchup. ARE YOU LISTENING WCW? Steiner gets a running kick to a seated Rick and pounds away. Rick gets sent to the floor where Giant beats him up even more. Bagwell shoves Giant away and then runs. Keep that in mind.

Rick finally gets an atomic drop which means nothing on the steroid ridden balls of Scott. Rick beats him down with ease in the corner but gets caught in an atomic drop. He no sells it and tags Bagwell. Naturally Bagwell turns on him, joining up with the NWO for the 99^th time. For some reason he runs to the back and it’s a handicap match. Naturally the eternally idiotic announcers are SHOCKED, yes SHOCKED I say!

The equally stupid fans chant for Goldberg. Yes he’s going to come out here when he has a world title match later on tonight. Scott beats on Rick for a good while as the announcers won’t shut up about Bagwell. Giant literally jumps up and down on Rick’s ribs. FREAKING OW MAN! Scott beats him down and Giant keeps picking him up. Now we’re talking about Judy Bagwell. Does this company just not get it?

Anyway, Rick fights back but gets caught by a low blow which is all cool according to the referee I guess. The announcers point out that this is the FOURTH time that has happened in this one match. Dudes, stop trying to validate your lack of logic and continuity. It’s wasting our time. Scott tags Giant who goes up top and accidentally hits a missile dropkick to Scott. Since Scott is officially dead now, Rick goes up, hits a bulldog on Giant and wins the freaking tag titles by himself. The next night he got to pick a new partner and picked Kenny Kaos of High Voltage. You’re not alone: no one else remembers him either.

Rating: C-. This was pretty average, but the Bagwell turn brings it down. I have no idea what the point of this was at the end of this, but it didn’t work. First off, you’re saying that Rick can not only beat Scott, but can beat a former two time world champion on his own after being betrayed and attacked by a third man? This was very odd indeed and I wasn’t really that sure what they were shooting for.

While the crowd is popping huge for Rick winning, Scott tries to bail. Rick chases him down and I guess this is a match.

Rick Steiner vs. Scott Steiner

This is more of a fight than a match of course. Rick hammers away for a good while but Scott gets the fourth low blow of this segment to take over again. There’s a suplex for Rick to shift the momentum again. Belly to belly gets two. And then Bill Clinton jumps the railing, drills a security dude, gets a slapjack from Stevie Ray who is here for no apparent reason, DRILLS the referee with it, and of course it’s Buff Bagwell.

Uh…point to the Clinton mask? Was it supposed to fool Rick? He wouldn’t notice the PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES beating up security guards? The bell rang as soon as the mask came off as you can’t DQ the president I guess. Buff picks up the referee’s hand but can’t get a 3. Rick fights them both off, gets a suplex on Scott, a second referee comes out and counts the three and it’s a bell. Where do I even begin? No rating, but just read what I said again and figure out what you think I’d give it.

We recap Hall vs. Nash, which is happening because they have to do it at some point I guess. Hall has been drinking and I cannot explain my hatred for this angle. In short, Hall would be “drunk” on camera, throw up on camera, be passed out in his house, stumble everywhere and all that jazz. It’s far worse than it sounds because he had real life issues for a long time and still does to this day. Hey! Let’s make an angle about it!

Kevin Nash vs. Scott Hall

Hall has a drink with him of course here. Hall drills him as they start it off and Nash is sent to the floor seconds in. Hall hits him in the head with the mic as they’re REALLY lenient on the DQs tonight aren’t they? Nash is down in the aisle after having whatever was in the cup thrown in his eyes, apparently alcohol. Hall, still in his vest, is in the ring. He grabs the mic and tells Nash to just leave now.

You don’t tick off a Super Shredder though and Nash gets back in. All Hall still though as this has been total domination so far. Discus Punch puts Nash down again and Hall is staggering. Slam puts Nash down and it’s time for the Outsider Edge. Hall goes for punches in the corner but gets shoved away. Nash doesn’t seem like he’s trying to fight back.

Nash keeps saying bring it on and yeah he’s not fighting back at all. And never mind yes he is as he whips Hall in a few times and gets a side slam for no cover as both guys are down. Hall has had about 99% of his offense come from punches. Jackknife attempt but Hall runs away. Nash finally rips his shirt off. We’re almost halfway in and this has been like a really long intro.

They lock up and Nash wins a battle of strength pretty easily. Hall does his slapping the back of the head bit and Nash just shrugs him off. Nash hammers on Hall’s back and is dominating here. The referee asks Hall if he wants to continue and Hall can barely say yes. Nash throws a bunch of knees in the corner and the picture frame elbow.

Off to another corner and more knees with Nash saying “have another drink baby”. Hall collapses and has nothing left. Long sequence of Nash hitting him and Hall’s shots having no effect at all. Big boot sets up the Jackknife (not the Jackhammer like Tony says) and Nash says one more. Instead of covering, Nash just walks away and gets counted out to let Hall win. We wasted almost 15 minutes for that ending? Blast it WCW do you even know what you’re trying to do?

Rating: D+. They were going for the big epic encounter here but when a match is 85% punches it’s a little hard to get into it. There was nothing in terms of competition as Hall dominated the first half and then Nash dominated the second half. Again I’m not sure what the point of the ending was but it didn’t particularly work. Pretty lame match and ending as I don’t think they wanted to fight each other.

Since they haven’t done so in nearly an hour, the Nitro Girls dance to bad techno music while in various colors of wigs. This is another minute of nothing but time wasting. There wasn’t a guy that could have cut a promo here? That’s what gets on my nerves about these segments: they could be used for ANYTHING else. You could even use them for bad comedy and they would be better.

We recap Bret vs. Sting which was built as a battle of leg locks. Bret is a heel here but neither guy means much of anything as for a year the spotlight has been on Hogan and/or Goldberg. Sting’s career was killed so badly by Hogan in the spring that he hasn’t even begun to recover and wouldn’t for years. We also knew that Bret was going to be wasted in WCW by this point and he did too. Rather sad to see indeed.

US Title: Sting vs. Bret Hart

Bret has the title here and Sting is in the Wolfpac. Sting has a goatee here and is supposed to be SERIOUS. Sting won’t let Bret in the ring as he still has the bat so we enter into a LONG stall session by the Canadian. I mean we’re at two minutes of just standing around and waiting at this point. There’s the third time Bret hits the floor and Sting gets mad and goes after him. They had a big brawl on Nitro that I vaguely remember which also contributed to this.

Sting hammers away with rather generic and basic offense for a bit. Here comes Bret with cheating tactics. And now we talk about Hogan to fill the quota for every match. Bret gets a DDT for two. Bret gets an atomic drop and a clothesline to take Sting down. I love that quick leg that Bret tends to drop. Bunch of basic stuff from the Canadian here including a bulldog.

Sting steals a small package for two out of nowhere. Bret tries a middle rope dropkick (???) and jumps into the Scorpion but there’s a rope for the break. Sting on offense now and Bret tries a leapfrog but hurts his knee. Well of course he does. Naturally he’s faking and Bret gets a foreign object. Sting knocks it out with a clothesline and picks it up himself. The referee stops him and there’s low blow #28 tonight to give Bret the momentum back.

Five Moves of Doom gives Bret even more momentum and then he throws Sting to the floor. Sting accidentally takes down the referee and Bret drops a leg on Billy Silverman. Here’s Sting’s comeback but like the eternal idiot that he is he stops to check on the referee and gets drilled. Superplex by Sting and Bret’s legs land on Silverman’s likely breaking them in half.

Stinger Splash to Bret but he hits the post to knock himself silly. Bret nails him with the bat and Sting is dead. I mean he nails him a lot. Oh dang it’s this match. I remember this now. Bret gets about 10 shots with the bat including one off the middle rope. Sting is completely out so Bret wakes up the referee who hasn’t moved in three minutes but a hand on his shoulder and he pops up. Bret puts on the Sharpshooter and Sting is out cold.

Rating: C-. Totally weak match here that never got out of second gear. The ending sucked too with the referee bump taking forever and never doing anything at all. This was idiotic and more nonsense to keep one guy over the age of 37 from jobbing clean. That would be a real issue in WCW and would haunt them until the end of their run. Not a horrible match but considering who was in there, this was awful.

Sting goes out on a stretcher and wouldn’t be seen in over four months. This would mean he didn’t wrestle for 14 months, came back for ten, then left for another four. Way to earn those millions baby! This is five more minutes that we’re wasting here.

Recap of Hogan vs. Warrior. It’s the rematch of the century and there was a bunch of stupid beyond belief supernatural stuff going on in there too that no one cared about in the slightest because it was really stupid. Hogan’s Disciple (Brutus Beefcake in gimmick #84872B) was turned to Warrior’s side through some kind of mystical smoke. Hogan beat up his nephew Horace on Monday so expect a run-in and SHOCKING swerve.

Hulk Hogan vs. Warrior

Yes just Warrior, not Ultimate or anything like that. It should be noted that the Nitro ratings had gone up with Warrior around so this was definitely something that there was an interest in. We see Horace being blasted with the chair again on Nitro. Could you make it any clearer? Hogan stalls a lot, saying he’s going to kill him and murder him and all that jazz.

Warrior Sucks chant starts up. Hogan gets knocked down by a big punch and hides in the corner. Something tells me this isn’t quite going to be Toronto in 90. Hogan hammers him down and gets a wristlock. Warrior takes over and Hogan hits the floor. You know it’s weird that they hate each other this much since Hogan seemed pretty happy with Warrior after the end of their previous match.

Test of strength time as they recreate probably their most famous spot and one of the most famous of all time. Oh never mind actually. I guess that move is too complex so we’ll use more punches. Ah there it is. Hogan wins to start and keeps doing so. The fans chant boring. Tenay says this is the battle for the city of Las Vegas. I’m not sure if that’s stupid or just typical WCW. They’re one in the same I guess.

Criss cross and Hogan wins with a slam. Hogan is by far and away more popular in this. One of the worst clotheslines I’ve ever seen puts Hogan on the floor. There’s a Hogan Sucks chant as no one is sure what to go with in here. They fight on the floor which means a lot of walking around. Tenay calls it a fine wrestling match that turned into a fight. Uh…he’s the Professor right?

Back in and we get one of the most contrived referee bumps I’ve ever seen as Patrick wasn’t in the right spot for Hogan to run into so Hogan had to switch directions to hit him. Hogan calls out the troops and here’s The Giant. Big boot misses and down goes Hogan. Stevie Ray and Vincent go down. Hogan gets a belly to back for two as the referee is mostly back up.

They’re trying to recreate a lot of the spots in their first match but the problem is most of the spots they’re redoing aren’t that well known in the first place. There was a ref bump in that match and Warrior got a suplex but there was no referee. See what I mean? Workout belt is used in its usual fashion by baldie.

Here’s a weird sequence as Hogan tries an elbow but Warrior rolls out of the way. Hogan tries another elbow and Warrior rolls away again. I’m sure you’ve all seen that before right? Well then Warrior rolls back at Hogan and hits him in the knee. It looks completely unplanned and awful as a result. Then again it’s Warrior so what do you expect? Big splash misses afterwards and control goes back to Hogan.

One punch from Warrior puts Hogan down. Belt for Warrior now and he hammers away. It’s not a foreign object because it’s part of Hogan’s attire. I stopped trying to figure out WCW rules years ago so I just go with it at this point. If they’re not changing the over the top rule they’re changing this rule so it’s whatever really.

And now it’s time for the infamous spot of the match. It’s the spot that makes this the worst match anyone has seen since….well since the last WCW PPV. Hogan goes to the corner while Warrior is being yelled at about using the belt. Hulk pulls out a bag which has flash paper and a lighter in it. The idea was supposed to be Hogan threw a fireball at Warrior and blinded him with Warrior eventually making a comeback blind.

To give you an idea of how stupid this was, Hogan himself said it was a bad idea and he came up with it. When have you EVER heard Hogan say he had a bad idea? Anyway, Hogan uses the lighter and throws the flash paper at Warrior. The problem is that the lighter didn’t connect with the paper before he threw it, so he threw a piece of paper at Warrior. He tries again but doesn’t throw the paper in time so the paper burns up in his hand instead of going at Warrior’s face. Let the panicking begin!

Naturally they have no clue what to do now and it’s clear they’re both nervous as they might actually have to improvise and think while moving. For people of their limited intellect, this might not be the easiest thing in the world to do. Warrior hits him and goes up, and doesn’t hit a double axe. Instead it’s more like a one handed punch that completely missed Hogan’s head but Hogan went down from it anyway.

He does it again and Hogan is busted from…something. Low blow by Hogan sets up the leg drop but he doesn’t cover. Here’s Horace Hogan with a chair. OH just get to the swerve already. Warrior Warriors Up and hits a bunch of clotheslines. Bischoff comes down and distracts the referee allowing Horace to blast Warrior with the chair to end it. Hogan says Horace passed the test. Yeah whatever. Horace puts lighter fluid on Warrior and security has to stop Hogan from lighting him on fire. I give up. This was more or less the last time Warrior was seen.

Rating: F. This is one of those matches that the best explanation as to why it sucks is to say “did you watch the match?” Neither guy was capable of putting on a decent match to save their lives at this point so they gave them fifteen minutes on PPV. The ending was bad, the big spot of the match was bad, the whole thing was bad. I don’t know who besides Hogan thought this was a good idea, but they need to be shot otherwise. This was an atrocious match and definitely one of the biggest bombs I’ve ever seen.

With no transition at all, it’s world title time.

WCW World Title: Goldberg vs. Diamond Dallas Page

DDP won this by winning WarGames. I’ve always wondered: if Goldberg is such a tough guy, why does he need so many bodyguards? No big match intros and we’re off in a hurry. They lock up and Page is sent flying with relative ease. Long feeling out process to start here. Page gets an armdrag and we head to the floor almost immediately. No one really has an advantage so far.

Goldberg takes him to the mat so Page tries a leg sweep. Goldberg is like uh yeah I’m awesome and does a standing backflip to avoid it. Cross armbreaker by Goldberg is blocked and Page tries to work on the arm. Goldberg shoves off the Diamond Cutter and it’s Goldberg in charge early on. This is looking good so far, and that’s our show everyone! See you tomorrow on Nitro!

So in case you’ve never heard of this, this is what I’ve been referring to the time the entire show for. In short, the PPV ran long and a lot of people lost the PPV feed in the early going of the main event. In other words, they didn’t get to see the ending of the match they paid to see. Needless to say, this did not go well in the slightest. WCW was threatened with more lawsuits than they knew what to do with, so they did the only thing they could: air the full match the next night on Nitro.

This was a bad idea too, as it ticked off the fans that bought the show to see the main event. I mean it’s not like they were cutting off Saturn vs. Lodi here. This was one of the two reasons people bought this show. The fans were mad because why should the people that didn’t pay to see the show get to see this match? You know, hence the term PAY PER VIEW? They weren’t paying yet they were getting to see the match that the people that did in fact pay didn’t get to see. That didn’t fly at all.

The PPV company was mad too because they agreed to show this on the grounds that WCW would air a complete show. Also, by airing the main attraction for free on Monday, why should anyone want to pay the full price to see the main event when they can see it for free the night before? The whole thing was a disaster and the worst part was it easily could have been avoided.

Bearing in mind that some of the main event was seen before the feed went out, let’s take a look at some numbers here. These are all approximated and rounded off for the sake of match and I’m rounding down in every case, meaning that even if something was up to say 11 minutes and 59 seconds, I’m calling it 11 minutes. The main event ran about 11 minutes bell to bell. Let’s go way high and say it took 20 minutes counting intros (closer to seventeen but we’ll say twenty).

In other words WCW needed to cut off 20 minutes to fit in the entire show. Let’s see what we could have cut off. To begin with, the Nitro Girls. They had four dance routines at a minute each. Then we have Konnan’s music video, running about five minutes. We’re almost halfway there now. There was the interview with Hogan saying he would destroy Warrior, eating up four minutes. Buff offered to be in the corner of Rick which ate up four minutes, and then there was also the Sting stretcher deal which was five minutes.

There are your 20 minutes right there. We’re also leaving on all of the matches, including the classics such as Lodi vs. Saturn, Wright vs. Finlay and Meng vs. Wrath which combined for about 13 minutes of ring time, not counting the intros and exits. Also there was the joke of the Steiners match, as well as the fact that the tag title match was added on as a bonus. This was completely ridiculous and there were so many ways to fix it that it’s unreal. And now, back to the match.

We get some very nice chain wrestling as Page tries for the arm again but Page is sent to the floor through pure power. Back in and Page gets a neckbreaker and Russian leg sweep for two. Front chancery but Goldberg hits a spinning neckbreaker of his own to take over again. Cross armbreaker goes on again but another rope is grabbed. Page counters a tilt-a-whirl with a headscissors of all things.

Bret-Killer kick sends Page into the corner. Goldberg charges but Page gets out of the way and the champion hits the post! Goldberg’s arm is hurt and Page has a chance. Clothesline off the middle rope gets two and a jumping DDT stops the momentum Goldberg starts up. He wants the Diamond Cutter but Goldberg spears the crap out of him.

His arm is hurt though so he can’t cover or follow up. Also quick point here: when Goldberg uses the spear, he runs through the guy. When Edge hits it, it’s a shoulder block to the ribs. Edge stops going forward when he hits it more often than not. Goldberg is like a hard takedown and looks much more impressive because of it. Take notes Edge.

Goldberg tries the Jackhammer but can’t get Page up because of the arm. SELLING PEOPLE! Oh how I love it. Take note: there’s a major difference between shaking an injured body part and then doing your move and not being able to do your move because of an injury. The first looks silly while the second makes us believe you’re in pain. Diamond Cutter hits and the place erupts. They erupt even harder on the kickout. Like an idiot, Page tries a vertical suplex which is reversed into the Jackhammer and Goldberg is 155-0.

Rating: B. See what happens when you let two guys that are both popular and can work well when given time? You get a *gasp* good match! Goldberg had to wrestle a different style here and it came off as far more interesting and impressive than his usual power stuff. Page played the roll of the challenger that had a puncher’s chance very well. This was probably the best match Goldberg ever had and one of the best Page ever had. Good stuff and a nice breath of fresh air to end this show.

Goldberg and Page do the respect thing to end the show.

OverallRating: D+. This was a hard one to grade as it’s certainly not unwatchable. It’s a show where the good parts are good and the bad parts are very bad. Unfortunately there is a lot more bad than good. The opener is good and the main event is good and there’s some other ok stuff mixed in, but like I said in the time aspect there is WAY too much stupid stuff thrown in. It doesn’t help that Hogan and Warrior is one of the biggest bombs of all time either.

This is a perfect microcosm of the problem in WCW. The young guys go out there and have a good start to the show. Then the old guys, the “draws” if you will, come out and have to use three low blows a match plus weapons and ref bumps because they’re such paint by numbers guys anymore that they can’t go out and put on an entertaining match. Look at the main event: there is not one shortcut in it and you get a good match.

That’s one of the main reasons why people got irritated with WCW: the tools and pieces were all there at their fingertips, but instead of having main events like DDP vs. Goldberg they decided we’d rather see stuff like Warrior vs. Hogan, which had an interest to it but the quality wasn’t there. It’s fine for a quickie, but you need some meat eventually. Hogan couldn’t offer that, and the company never realized it. And then they died and no one seemed to care after the levels they reached at the end because of it, but that’s another story. Anyway, not a horrible show, but the bad outweighs the good as usual.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Survivor Series 2003
Date: November 16, 2003
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Attendance: 13,487
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz

Well as usual, a lot has changed around here since last time. Brock is a monster again, Goldberg is Raw Champion, Vince is back and fighting the Undertaker, and it’s Austin vs. Bischoff having surrogate teams fight for control of Raw. This is a big change of pace from last year and hopefully it’s a bit better as well. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about surviving. There’s an original concept.

Team Angle vs. Team Lesnar

Kurt Angle, Hardcore Holly, John Cena, Bradshaw, Chris Benoit

Brock Lesnar, Nathan Jones, Matt Morgan, Big Show, A-Train

Cena does a rap before the match about how big the other team is. This is one of Morgan’s few matches in WWE. From what I can find, he had 18 total matches, one of which was over a year after his previous one. Holly is here because Lesnar broke his neck and now Holly wants revenge. This would result in Hardcore Holly actually getting a world title match at the Rumble. Show is US Champion here.

Holly jumps Lesnar during his entrance and tries to put him into a full nelson, earning himself a DQ before the match ever starts. Back in the ring, Bradshaw and A-Train start things off with Bradshaw blocking a Vader Bomb and hitting the Clothesline for the elimination to tie us up. Bradshaw charges into a chokeslam from Show and is out 20 seconds later.

Cena comes in but can’t FU Show yet. Off to Brock but Cena takes his knee out. A quick rollup gets two and Cena does the same thing again. Off to Morgan who isn’t quite as polished as Lesnar. A side slam puts Cena down and it’s already off to Jones. Jones does some very basic choking and it’s back to Brock. Cena hits the Throwback on Brock and there’s the tag to Benoit (notice the pop).

Benoit pounds on Lesnar in the corner but it’s back to Big Show and there’s only so much Show can do with him. Show lifts Benoit into the air and drops him on his face while talking trash to Angle. The chokeslam is countered into the Crossface but Brock (who is Smackdown Champion here) makes the save. Show puts on an abdominal stretch of all things followed by the standing legdrop for two.

Angle gets a tag but the referee doesn’t see it. Back to Morgan for some skilled standing on Benoit’s throat. Benoit speeds things up and takes out Morgan’s knee before tagging in Angle. Kurt immediately rolls some Germans on Matt and everything breaks down. Angle Slam eliminates Morgan, the ankle lock eliminates Jones (who would quit in about two weeks and never be seen again) and the F5 takes out Kurt, all in the span of about 25 seconds.

This gets us down to Benoit and Cena vs. Lesnar and Big Show. Lesnar misses a charge in the corner and Benoit goes after the arm like a crazy man. Brock gets Benoit up for the F5 but Benoit counters into the Crossface. Show makes the save so Benoit puts it right back in, only to have Brock make the ropes. The third time though gets a rare tap from Brock as this match is flying by. That more or less makes Benoit the #1 contender.

It’s Benoit and Cena vs. Big Show now as the fans tell Lesnar that he tapped out. Benoit hits a top rope shoulder but can’t put on the Crossface. Cena gets a blind tag and there’s a chokeslam to Benoit. A chain to Show’s head and the FU are enough for the pin. Somehow Cena wouldn’t win the US Title from Show for almost six more months.

Rating: C. Not a great match here but to say it got the fans fired up is the understatement of the year. That FU at the end was the usual jaw dropping moment for Cena and while the rest of the match was pretty forgettable, the crowd is all ready to go now, which is the point of this kind of a match. Angle would turn heel and feud with Eddie soon into the new year.

Vince talks to Shane about how tonight it’s father and son against two brothers which is a somewhat cool idea, but the matches are both likely to suck so it’s hard to care. Shane says he feels sorry for Vince. Vince leaves and runs into Austin and they have a really awkward laugh before Austin stops and glares at Vince. This is one of those moments where it was supposed to be big but came off as weird instead.

Women’s Title: Lita vs. Molly Holly

Lita is somewhat recently back after breaking her neck on a TV show and is challenging here. The fans immediately start cheering for Lita and she hits a quick clothesline to take over. Some knees to Molly’s chest sets up a suplex and a nipup by Lita. We head to the floor where Lita is sent into the barricade back first, which gets two for the champ back inside. Off to a chinlock by Molly followed by a dragon sleeper which doesn’t last that long.

Molly sends her into the corner and hits the Muta handspring elbow in one of the only times you’ll hear his name mentioned on WWE TV. Lita kicks Molly away and backflips to the top for a cross body and a two count. A rollup gets the same but Molly sidewalk slams her down for two. Molly tries a rana out of the corner and gets powerbombed down, but the Litasault misses. The Molly Go Round (flipping seated senton) surprisingly only gets two so Molly goes to expose a buckle. After a save is made by Lita, the champ sends her face first into the exposed buckle for the pin.

Rating: D+. The match itself was ok, but man alive Molly wasn’t that interesting to watch. I get that she’s a very technically competent wrestler and could do almost anything pretty well in the ring, but she was a black hole of charisma. Molly was just there most of the time, which doesn’t make for interesting matches at all.

We recap Kane vs. Shane. Kane, being all psycho, tombstoned Linda on the stage one night. Shane stood up for his mama and beat on Kane as much as he could, but it basically turned into a monster movie as Shane did all sorts of things to Kane but Kane just kept coming. Shane got his testicles electrocuted in a semi-famous bit in retaliation. Somehow this set up an ambulance match, which is a casket match but with an ambulance. This is one of those feuds that went on and on for MONTHS, apparently ticking off guys in the back because Shane wasn’t a full time wrestler but he was getting big spots on the card.

Shane McMahon vs. Kane

Shane immediately knocks him to the floor but Kane sends him into the steps to take him down. Shane gets the steps on top of Kane and pounds him down with a chair. The announce table gets loaded up early and there’s a monitor to the side of Kane’s head. Shane hits the big elbow through the table and both guys are down less than two minutes in. Both guys get up and Shane makes Kane chase him (literally) through the crowd.

They head to the back and we lose the camera feed for a bit. Kane really is stalking Shane like in a slasher movie. Shane gets behind Kane somehow and blasts him with some kendo stick shots. Shane gets in an SUV and backs up into Kane, knocking him into a guard shake. McMahon grabs a walkie-talkie and says send it, so here’s an ambulance. Kane fights off the stretcher and throws Shane into a concrete wall before they head back to the arena.

Shane looks like he’s dead on his feet as Kane punches him. Kane throws him onto the hood of the ambulance, cracking Shane’s head open apparently. Shane sends him into the side of the ambulance and opens the doors, slamming one onto Kane’s head a few times. Kane fights his way out of the back of the ambulance before throwing Shane in, but only one door gets shut.

McMahon comes back with a kind of tornado DDT out of the ambulance and hits Kane with a trashcan. He then puts something big and black between Kane’s legs before climbing on top of the ambulance. Shane goes Coast to Coast off the top of the ambulance to drive a trashcan into Kane’s face while Kane was laying against the barricade. The big black thing apparently was a box to keep Shane from, you know, dying.

Kane is dead weight now and Shane can’t get him into the ambulance immediately. Kane pulls Shane inside with him before getting all fired (pun intended) up. He rams Shane into the ambulance over and over, tombstones him on the concrete and throws him into the ambulance to win.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t horrible but it went on too long. Thankfully this was the last time Shane was an active wrestler for a few years as he was only good for stuff like this in doses. Kane would go on to feud with, who else, the Undertaker in a few months. There were some good bumps here, but at the end of the day Shane isn’t a wrestler and that was becoming obvious near the end.

Brock says he didn’t lose tonight. Josh Matthews says he tapped out and Lesnar doesn’t want to hear it because he didn’t tap out. Lesnar says line up anybody in the world and he’ll beat them because he’s the WWE Champion. Oh hi Goldberg. Yep, they’re foreshadowing THAT match.

Here’s Coach to waste more time. He’s in a neckbrace due to a 3D on Monday. His doctors assure him that in a few days, he’ll be fine. Coach sees Mark Cuban, owner of the Dallas Mavericks, in the front row. Cuban agrees to a quick interview and says he’s looking forward to Austin beating Bischoff. Coach says that’s not happening so he asks Cuban if he prefers WWE or NBA referees. Cuban says they all suck (Cuban is well known in the NBA for being highly critical of referees) and here’s Bischoff to yell at Cuban a bit.

Eric asks Cuban to get in the ring and say whatever Cuban thinks to his face. Cuban gets in the ring and TOWERS over Bischoff, probably a good seven inches or so taller. Bischoff says that he can have security take Cuban out or he can do it himself. Mark shoves Eric down but Randy Orton slides in and RKO’s Cuban, who sells it as well as any celebrity I’ve ever seen. If I remember right, this was actually referenced SIX YEARS LATER when Cuban guest hosted Raw. This was a waste of about seven minutes.

Evolution is having a party in the back with a ton of women. HHH takes his shirt off to drive the girls crazy but Flair says not yet because HHH has to fight later. Orton comes in and panics, stops to flirt with the girls, and then says that he’ll kill the legend of Austin tonight.

Smackdown Tag Titles: Los Guerreros vs. Basham Brothers

The Brothers are Doug and Danny, have Shaniqua with them and are defending here. Los Guerreros take over to start as this is apparently about something the Bashams did on Smackdown. What that was isn’t important enough to explain, but apparently it happened. Chavo and I think Danny start things off with Chavo in control. It’s quickly off to Danny who stomps Danny down in the corner and follows up with the Three Amigos.

It’s back to Chavo with a low dropkick for two and it’s right back to Eddie. A Sin Cara-esque headscissors takes both Bashams down but the champs double team Latino Heat to take over. Shaniqua, a big old monster chick that won Tough Enough 2, runs over Eddie on the floor and Doug pounds away on him in the ring. A double slingshot suplex puts Eddie down for two and it’s off to a reverse chinlock by Danny. Eddie fights up and takes Danny down with a headscissors before tagging in Chavo.

Everything breaks down and another double flapjack puts Chavo down. Danny loads up something like a spinebuster off the middle rope but Eddie makes the save before Danny can jump. Eddie gets sent to the floor but Chavo dropkicks Doug down. Danny and Chavo clothesline each other down and the “twins” switch. Eddie takes Shaniqua down and Frog Splashes her. Let’s spank her too because she’s a dominatrix. Chavo hits a tornado DDT on Doug but kicks Eddie in the process. As Chavo checks on him, Danny rolls Chavo up to retain.

Rating: D+. I know the description sounded really dull, but there was nothing here at all. The guys in this match are pretty talented, but the tag division was so dead around this point. The Bashams just weren’t that interesting and there isn’t much else to say about it than that. That was a major problem back in 2003: a lot of the guys were just there and nothing of note, which is a shame as Danny is a legend in OVW but it never translated to WWE.

Los Guerreros glare at each other post match.

We recap Team Austin vs. Team Bischoff. They had been sharing power and tonight’s match is for full control. Austin is skeptical about trusting anyone and he’s fired if he touches anyone. From what I understand from the video, if Austin’s team wins, he can beat up anyone he wants.

Team Austin vs. Team Bischoff

Shawn Michaels, Rob Van Dam, Booker T, Dudley Boyz

Chris Jericho, Randy Orton, Christian, Scott Steiner, Mark Henry

The Dudleys are Raw tag champions and RVD is IC Champion. Team Bischoff hides on the floor and Austin yells at Jericho a bit. Christian and D-Von start things off with the Dudley pounding away. A flying clothesline gets two on Christian and here’s Van Dam who gets the same off a spinwheel kick. Off to Jericho who gets kicked in the face as well, followed by a northern lights suplex for two.

A dropkick puts Van Dam down and here’s Steiner for the same power stuff he’s done for about eight years running now. After making Steiner miss in the corner and hitting a cross body, Van Dam gets caught in an overhead belly to belly suplex. Van Dam goes up and gets crotched, allowing Scott to hit an overhead belly to belly for two. Off to Booker who gets clotheslined down and elbowed for tow.

Booker hits the forearm to take Steiner down and hits the ax kick but it’s a Spinarooni instead of a cover. Everything breaks down and Steiner hooks the Recliner on Booker. Stacy, Steiner’s reluctant manager, cheers for Booker. The distraction breaks the hold and the Dudleys hit the reverse 3D on Steiner and the Bookend gets the elimination. Henry comes in and immediately hits the World’s Strongest Slam to take Booker out and tie things up.

Van Dam comes back in and the kicks to Henry’s legs don’t do much good at all. Bubba gets a blind tag and pounds away on Henry but Mark runs him over. Bubba pounds away but brings in D-Von because it takes both Dudleyz to take Henry down. Henry misses a charge in the corner and walks into the 3D, allowing Van Dam to hit the Five Star. The dogpile pin is allowed and Henry is out.

It’s Jericho vs. Van Dam now with Rob sending Jericho into the corner for two. Off to Orton who clotheslines Van Dam down hard for two. RVD comes back with the springboard kick to the face but Jericho breaks up the Five Star, knocking Rob into the RKO for the elimination. Off to D-Von for a flapjack and a legdrop for two. A top rope headbutt gets two on Orton so it’s off to Jericho.

Chris’ missile dropkick puts D-Von down but Bubba breaks up the pin. Jericho is all cool with that though and hits the Flashback (sleeper drop) for the pin and elimination. It’s Bubba and Shawn vs. Jericho, Christian and Orton. Here’s Shawn for the first time and house is quickly cleaned, but that little dust bunny known as Chris Jericho takes him down. Off to Orton again who gets in a few shots before getting clotheslined.

There’s the not hot tag to Bubba who beats up all three Bischites. A flapjack puts Jericho down and a backdrop gets two on Christian. A Samoan Drop puts Orton down and we get heel miscommunication between the Canadians. Jericho breaks up the Bubba Bomb with a low blow and the Unprettier pins Bubba, making it 3-1. Shawn immediately comes in with a forearm to Christian and the nip up as things speed up.

Jericho low bridges Shawn and the double stomp is on outside. Off to Orton as the heels slow things down. Shawn and Christian slug it out but Shawn has to beat up Jericho as well. Christian slingshots Shawn into the post and Michaels is busted open. Back in and Christian suplexes Shawn down before doing the HBK pose. Shawn is covered in blood as Christian shoves him out of the corner….and charges right into Sweet Chin Music for the elimination. That was sweet!

Jericho is all ticked off now and pounds away on Shawn’s forehead but Michaels comes back with a chop in the corner. Shawn can’t follow up though and a clothesline puts him down for two. Shawn comes back with a DDT out of the corner for a delayed two as Orton saves. Shawn throws Orton out to the floor but Jericho’s Lionsault hits knees and Shawn FINALLY gets up. The superkick misses but Shawn rolls Jericho up to counter the Walls and somehow it’s down to Orton vs. Shawn. Jericho, ever the bad sport, clocks Shawn with a chair.

Orton, who is still down from being thrown to the floor somehow, is left against a dead Shawn. Randy crawls back in but can only get two. He goes up but the cross body takes out the referee instead. Shawn loads up the Superkick but Bischoff comes in and kicks him down. Austin finally snaps and beats up Eric before Stunning Orton. Steve goes after Bischoff and throws him up the aisle, but Batista runs in and powerbombs Shawn, giving Orton the academic pin to win the match and send Austin away for at least a good three weeks.

Rating: B. This took A LONG time to get going, but once Shawn was on his own and got to get the crowd behind him completely, it was all gravy. The important thing here was that Shawn basically beat Christian and Jericho through a pair of flukes and not because he Hulked Up or anything like that. He caught Christian charging at him and rolled Jericho up when Jericho’s arms were being used in a hold. Shawn made this match work, as the other members of his team were useless. The guy really is that awesome.

Austin is shocked and goes into the ring where Shawn isn’t moving at all. He helps Michaels up and Shawn says he’s sorry. Austin pulls Shawn up and they shake hands with no Stunner. They walk up the aisle together and leave but Austin’s music plays and he comes out one more time. He says that he started his career 14 years ago right here in Dallas. Austin says if it has to end, he’s glad that it’s ending where it started. He says that you won’t hear him say this much, but he loves the fans.

This brings out Coach to sing the goodbye song and have security take Austin out. Austin of course beats up the guards and Coach as this is going on too long. Austin Stuns Coach and beer is consumed. He leaves the two cans sitting in the ring and flips off the crowd for old times’ sake.

We recap Undertaker vs. Vince. Taker keeps trying to win the title but Vince screwed him over at No Mercy against Lesnar. Undertaker says that Vince has to be held accountable for his actions and on Smackdown, Taker won the right to have any match with anyone he picked. He said it was buried alive and Vince loved the idea of getting to see Lesnar bury Taker. Taker said not so fast my friend, because the match is against Vince.

Undertaker vs. Vince McMahon

Taz actually has keys to victory. First: be mentally stable. Second: be confident. Third: AVOID THE HOLE! Did Taz just make me laugh? I don’t know how to handle this. Oh good we have the bell so I don’t have to deal with it. Remember that in this you have to put the other guy in the grave and cover him with dirt to bury him alive. Apparently it’s thirteen years to the day since Taker debuted. Vince kneels in prayer before the match starts.

Taker punches him in the face, drawing blood off a SINGLE PUNCH. He pounds away on Vince as McMahon is just trying to get back up. Vince gets crotched against the post and Taker wraps the leg around the post for fun. The same thing happens on the opposite post and Vince is sent into the announce table. There is blood EVERYWHERE. Taker hits him and says this is for my wife. Yeah this was around the time when Vince said he was going to have someone rape Taker’s wife. You know, because there’s nothing wrong with that.

The beating continues for awhile and Vince hasn’t had a single bit of offense in yet. Vince gets punched up against the barricade and we head back inside. Taker heads to the grave site and gets a shovel which is CRACKED off Vince’s head. This is quite a beating. Taker crushes Vince’s ankle just like he did in 1998. There are PILES of blood on the floor. Taker carries him to the grave but Vince gets in a low blow to FINALLY slow Taker down.

Vince hits him with a shovel and taker falls into the grave. Taker shrugs it off and pulls McMahon down into the hole, but as he goes for the machine to lower the dirt, an explosion goes off. Kane is in the cab and helps Vince out of the grave. Taker is knocked into the grave and Vince lowers the dirt onto Taker to get the shocking win.

Rating: D. This was REALLY boring although that first shovel shot was great. Other than that though, there wasn’t enough here to make this match matter. This would be the last time Biker Taker was seen as he would return as the Dead Man at Wrestlemania to, say it with me, feud with Kane. The blood alone prevents this from being a failure.

We recap Goldberg vs. HHH. Goldie won the title at Unforgiven so HHH put a $100k bounty on his head. Batista returned from an injury and broke Goldberg’s ankle to claim the bounty. This is almost literally the same story that Race and Flair had to set up the first Starrcade, with the main difference being that Race was champion when he set up the bounty. This gets the music video treatment.

Raw World Title: Goldberg vs. HHH

Goldberg is defending and has a broken ankle. Doesn’t that mean Batista didn’t take him out/put him on the shelf? With Flair still in the ring, Goldie limps and punches at the same time. There’s a spear to HHH but there’s no count because the bell hasn’t rung yet. Flair gets backdropped and there’s the bell. HHH gets knocked to the floor and the champ is in full control. Goldberg drops him face first onto the barricade and we head back inside.

Goldberg tries to use power but the ankle gives out on him. A chop block takes Goldberg down and we head to the floor for a low blow. Flair sends the leg into the post and is DRENCHED in sweat already. Back in and things slow down even more as HHH does whatever he can as Flair chokes away even more. HHH stays on the knee and the sequence keeps going on and on and on. That was the problem with HHH matches: they were the same boring formula over and over and it never worked.

HHH puts on a half crab but Goldberg is in the ropes. The ankle gets bent around the post as this is getting even more boring. Goldberg comes out of the corner with a clothesline but a powerslam is too much for him here. Goldberg kicks HHH into the referee and Flair throws in some brass knuckles to knock Goldberg out cold. That only gets two and HHH is ANGRY, so he drops an elbow on the referee.

It’s sledgehammer time but HHH charges into a boot. Flair gets slammed off the top and Goldie has the hammer. He takes Flair out with it but as he goes for HHH, Batista and Orton run in, only to be knocked out with the hammer as well. The Pedigree is countered and Goldberg throws down the hammer. The spear and the Jackhammer retain the title.

Rating: D+. Well the match sucked, but you certainly can’t say HHH didn’t put Goldberg over huge here. This is where the good parts of the match end. As for the bad: Goldberg wouldn’t sell the leg once the big insane part started, the match sucked, and HHH won the title a month later at Armageddon in a three way match, with Goldberg moving on to feud with Lesnar after this. Not a good match here but that was typical of HHH around this time.

Overall Rating: D+. This is from a bad time in the company as HHH was still on top but there were other things that were far more interesting. For instance, the Austin thing DEFINITELY should have closed this show as Shawn is the only thing that was really good on the whole card. On top of that, the main problem here is that other than the Shawn match, there’s no heart to this show. It comes, it goes, nothing really feels like it matters. That would be the case until Cena and Batista rose up to breathe new life into the company.

Ratings Comparison

Team Angle vs. Team Lesnar

Original: B-

Redo: C

Molly Holly vs. Lita

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Kane vs. Shane McMahon

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Basham Brothers vs. Los Guerreros

Original: D

Redo: D+

Team Bischoff vs. Team Austin

Original: A-

Redo: B

Vince McMahon vs. Undertaker

Original: D

Redo: D

Goldberg vs. HHH

Original: D-

Redo: D+

Overall Rating

Original: C-

Redo: D+

This matches up pretty well: most of the matches were about the same but a few were lower this time, as was the overall rating.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/12/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-2003-austin-vs-bischoff/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 15, 2003
Location: Carolina Coliseum, Columbia, South Carolina
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

I can understand asking for a 2002 Raw, but 2003? Why would you want to subject yourself to that? I don’t get wrestling fans sometimes. Anyway, this is the go home show for Unforgiven which had a main event of……Goldberg vs. HHH I believe? A check of that would say I’m right, as well as saying that I need to get a life. Let’s get to it.

Eric Bischoff and HHH are in the back and there’s going to be a going away party for Goldberg tonight because HHH is going to destroy him on Sunday.

Theme song. Across the Nation was as good a theme as they’ve ever had.

As the show opens, Jericho and Christian are in the ring with signs demanding that Stone Cold must go. This is an official protest you see. Jericho does the talking and says that Austin is a menace and a horrible GM. Christian says Austin is a joke because he’s keeping Christian off PPVs. They try to start a Stone Cole Must Go chant and here’s Austin. Austin talks about how Jericho slapped him on the back and eventually hurt his feelings. The idea here is that Austin cannot attack anyone unless provoked and he really wants to beat someone up.

Austin says that Christian will be defending on Sunday (that takes about 30 seconds) but doesn’t name an opponent. Instead he’s interested in getting someone to provoke him but as he pulls his fist back, he tells Christian to do it instead. Jericho gets in Austin’s face again and wants the shot at Christian on Sunday. Austin says ok but Jericho has to win the following match first.

Rob Van Dam vs. Chris Jericho

Christian tries to get in a cheap shot but gets kicked down instead. Jericho gets dumped to the floor and taken out by a dive as we take a fast break. Back with Van Dam hitting a forearm and the cartwheel moonsault for two. A standing rana (called a moonsault by JR for some reason) gets two for Van Dam so he goes up, only to be shoved off the top by Christian.

Back in and Jericho puts on a chinlock as the fans chant for RVD. Rob fights up and hits a spinwheel kick and that stepover kick of his followed by Rolling Thunder. A flying kick off the top gets two but Jericho rolls through a monkey flip. The Walls don’t work so Jericho hits a sleeper drop for two. Rob tries a springboard kick but the referee gets kicked in the face. Well of course he does. The Lionsault and Five Star both hit knees so Christian comes in and hits both of them with the title so it’s a draw.

Rating: C. This wasn’t bad but Jericho was really needing to get the to the Trish storyline to get a recharge at this point. Christian would stay at about this level for awhile until he left for TNA for a few years. Van Dam is Van Dam and that’s about all there is to him. The match itself wasn’t bad but it’s nothing we haven’t seen them do way better at other times.

Austin makes it a triple threat. You know, LIKE EVERY OTHER TRIPLE THREAT.

Video of Goldberg beating Hogan on Nitro.

Spike Dudley vs. Rob Conway

Spike is in a neckbrace and his brothers fight the other members of La Resistance into the crowd. Conway hits a neckbreaker and wins in about 20 seconds.

Post match Conway powerbombs Spike through a table before the Dudleys make the save. The Dudleys would win the tag titles Sunday in a handicap tables match.

Coach and Al Snow suck up to Bischoff but he blows them off as some chick from Tough Enough gives him a note saying there are two half clothed women here. I have a bad feeling about this. Regarding Snow and Coach, see they’re the Heat commentators and want to be the Raw commentators so there’s a tag match between the two of them and JR/King on Sunday for the Raw commentary job. Somehow WWE isn’t sure why no one liked 2003.

The two women are of course Moolah and Mae. We’re in South Carolina so you knew this was coming. Moolah wants a match for her 80^th birthday. Austin pops in and says do it and tells Eric to kiss Moolah for luck. Mae Young is there, so you should know what comes next.

Victoria vs. Fabulous Moolah

Victoria hits both Moolah and Mae, but the distraction of Mae lets Moolah roll her up in thirty seconds. That would be two matches that combined to last less than 60 seconds.

Post match Victoria beats both of them up but Randy Orton comes out to save for some reason. Then he realizes they’re legends and RKO’s Moolah.

Goldust/Lance Storm vs. Mark Henry/Rodney Mack

This is when Storm was “just having fun” and would come to the ring dancing to hip hop music. Whoever asked me to review this show, I’d advise you to NOT REQUEST ANOTHER ONE LIKE THIS. Teddy Long manages the team you would expect him to manage, which may or may not be called Thuggin N Buggin Enterprises. Storm and Mack start things off and the fans chant boring, which is the idea behind Storm’s new character. See, Austin told him he was boring and to get a personality.

Storm takes Mack down but Henry hits him in the back of the head to take over. A splash crushed Storm and it’s off to Goldust who almost immediately gets caught in the World’s Strongest Slam for the pin. This actually broke 1:50, so we’re getting closer to a match that’s actually long enough to rate (even the first match barely was as a lot of that was in a lot of that was in a commercial). This would be Goldust’s last match on Raw for about three years.

Evolution (minus Batista who is recovering from injury) is in the back planning for the party for Goldberg later. Orton has to take care of something and runs into Shawn who he faces Sunday. Orton says Shawn made his career out of being a stepping stone and Sunday, he’s going to use Shawn as a stepping stone. Shawn slaps Randy in the face and says Orton better step hard.

Hurricane tries to teach Rosey to fly. Rosey gets a cab instead.

Molly and Gail Kim say their handicap match tonight with Trish is now No Holds Barred. Sure why not.

Here are Kane and Shane McMahon to sign the contract for their last man standing match on Sunday. Shane says he’s taking Kane down on Sunday and signs. There goes the table and the fight is on. Shane hits Kane low several times and gets in a pair of chair shots. With Kane down, Shane pulls the cover off an announce table at ringside that is apparently only here for this segment (JR and King broadcast from up by the stage at this point). Shane puts Kane on the table and hits the big elbow to drive Kane through it.

Gail Kim/Molly Holly vs. Trish Stratus

No Holds Barred just because. Trish hits a quick double neckbreaker to start and gets down to one on one with Molly. You know, because they have to tag in a no holds barred match. I will say this: Molly is really good looking with black hair. Trish kicks Molly in the face and hits the Stratusphere before it’s off to Gail. Kim takes over with a clothesline and a middle rope legdrop for two. Some heel double teaming allows for a Molly handspring elbow for two. Apparently Molly is Women’s Champion. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Trish rops Molly while trying a spinebuster. The villains double team Trish and the Molly Go Round pins her.

Rating: F. When you hear the words “no holds barred”, you expect more than a generic bad handicap match. The only thing good about this was the girls all looking good, which was the case for most Divas matches back in the day. This division needed a shot in the arm and it needed one in a hurry.

Post match the beating continues and a chair is grabbed, but here’s the returning Lita to make the save. She’s been gone over a year due to a neck injury. If nothing else she looks great in a black bra and tiny shorts.

Post match Gail and Molly are in the back with Eric. Eric says he fired Lita but Austin comes in and says he rehired her. There’s a tag match for Sunday. Gail: “I slept with the wrong general manager.”

Here are Coach and Snow dressed as JR and King respectively. They go to the broken announce table as they’re going to give us a preview of what Raw is like next week. Yeah, THIS is one of the top matches at Unforgiven.

Test vs. Val Venis

Test has Stacy with him as his reluctant love slave or something like that. Test makes Stacy sit down in a chair after hitting Val a few times. Val escapes the pumphandle slam and hits a Blue Thunder Bomb for two. Val loads up the Money Shot but Test kicks the referee into the ropes. There’s the Pumphandle Slam but Stacy pulls Test to the floor. Scott Steiner, Stacy’s alleged savior, comes out to distract Test and Stacy crotches her client on the ropes. Val hits a full nelson slam for the surprise pin. Coach and Snow were very annoying on commentary here. Steiner would turn heel and use Stacy just like Test was soon.

Steiner beats up Test post match but Test gets Stacy before he leaves.

Lawler comes out and asks to fight Snow right now. The match is after a break.

Al Snow vs. Jerry Lawler

Coach and JR are on commentary here as Lawler controls with some very basic stuff. They slug it out and King hits a DDT for two. Snow comes back with a slam but a suplex is countered into a small package for the pin. This was the last match of the show people. This is the main event. Let that sink in.

Coach hits JR before bailing.

Austin runs into Evolution and says HHH is having the Goldberg party by himself.

Here’s HHH for the farewell. He asks the crowd for a Goldberg chant but they’re not interested. We get music and confetti and balloons because this needs to get stupider. HHH says there are no such things as dynasties in wrestling but he’s the one constant. Apparently the one constant isn’t the mic as it goes out yet we can still hear it on TV. With a new mic, HHH shows off a portrait of Goldberg being bloodied by Evolution. This is going nowhere by the way. Now we get VIDEO of the beating! Goldberg finally pops up on screen and says he’ll win the title before coming out and gorilla pressing HHH to end the show.

Overall Rating: F. Despite that TEN MINUTE closing segment, I have zero desire to see either the main event or any of the matches on the show. There are two matches on this show that were long enough to rate: one ended in a draw and one was a no holds barred match that had nothing out of the ordinary. Other than that you have all kinds of stuff like Moolah and Test and the Spike match. Horrible show here and I want nothing to do with Unforgiven or Raw in 2003. Naturally the whole year is on my schedule.

Here’s Unforgiven if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/11/03/unforgiven-2003-i-was-wrong-2002-isnt-the-worst-year-ever-for-wwe/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Unforgiven 2003
Date: September 21, 2003
Location: Giant Center, Hershey, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 10,347
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is a request so I almost had to do it. The main event here is Goldberg vs. HHH as we’re in the middle of the worst year in recent memory for the company. This was mainly on the Raw side as HHH just would not allow anyone not named Shawn Michaels to do a stupid thing. He had matches with Goldberg, Scott Steiner and Kevin Nash. Let that sink in a bit. Let’s get to this so we can get it over with.

The opening video is about revenge since people are unforgiven. Is that even a word outside of the WWE world? There’s also Shane vs. Kane in their never ending feud that few wanted to see. This is a Raw show in case you missed that.

Ross is WAY too excited to be here. He’s wearing a Sooners jersey for no apparent reason.

Raw Tag Titles: Dudley Boys vs. La Resistance

This is a handicap elimination tables match as La Resistance have Sylvan Grenier, Rob Conway and Rene Dupree. This was supposed to be a 6 man but the heels botched a table spot on Spike on Raw where the threw him over the top and missed the table entirely other than the back of Spike’s head smacking into the table in a SICK looking spot. And we have tags in a tables match. Sure why not?

You can tell this is a long time ago as they’re only 16 time tag champions here. Sweet goodness that’s ridiculous sounding. D-Von and Grenier, who is by far the worst of the three, start us off. And now it’s Conway. Thank you for wasting our time like that. He’s an American that is a French sympathizer. We get the eternal question of why do the French love Jerry Lewis movies. That’s a great question and I’ve yet to get an answer to it.

For a tables match there is a severe lack of tables in it so far. It’s just a handicap match with the Dudleys being way ahead. The double neckbreaker hits and so does What’s Up. Still no tables. There are no disqualifications in this, yet they have to tag. I’ll never get that. Ah here we go. D-Von gets sent through so it’s only Bubba left. They’re not eliminated though. Bubba is WAY over here which is odd to an extent. There are a ton of tables here.

Bubba, from his knees, slaps the heck out of Sylvan’s chest. That sounded GREAT. He goes through the table so it’s 2-1 I guess you could say. Wait…are they eliminated? Oh does it really matter? Well there’s D-Von and the referee is fine with it so I’m thinking no. Wait it’s No DQ so it doesn’t matter if they’re eliminated or not.

Conway goes through it and in nearly the same spot he hurt Spike in, he hits HIS head on the table. FREAKING OW! It’s Bubba vs. Dupree here more or less and since it’s both Dudleys vs. him, what do you expect? Actually Rene wins for the most part and gets to set up a table. He’s 19 here but walks into 3D to give the Dudleys the belts.

Rating: D+. Well this wasn’t that bad but it could have been on Raw. Well maybe not as it actually got over ten minutes. This wasn’t anything special but it made the Dudleys look strong here which is the right idea. It’s nothing special but it’s fine for what it was supposed to be so I can’t complain that much.

We get a MUSIC VIDEO about Scott Steiner vs. Test. The idea is Stacy Keibler was Test’s marketer or whatever and then she decided she “loved” Scott Steiner but Test turned heel and wouldn’t let her go. They had a match for possession of Stacy which Steiner won and then Test beat her up on Raw. Then Test won her back. You have to love the human trafficking going on here.

Scott Steiner vs. Test

Well at least we get a great outfit on Stacy. Dang and Steiner was fighting with HHH for the world title at the Rumble about 7 months before this. That should tell you everything you need to know about both that match and the rematch. Apparently people in Kuwait are pulling for Steiner here. If Steiner wins he gets Stacy and if Test wins Steiner becomes his property. Again: Human Trafficking complete with tights.

Stacy hugs Scott before the match and I really couldn’t care less (and yes I mean it that way) about this match. Test tries a leap frog or something and gets slammed/suplexed for his efforts. Something tells me this is going to be BAD. How stupid is Stacy? Steiner says he only cares about his freaks and his peaks, so SURELY he’s being sincere about wanting to be with her right? Test is dominating here and keeps talking trash to Stacy.

I love the full nelson slam. It’s just an awesome looking move all around. Test does the push-ups to be a jerk which is kind of funny. Ross says Steiner has character. That’s rather amusing. Steiner makes a comeback but a low blow ends that. Given the amount of steroids he was on I’m surprised he felt it.

The Pumphandle Slam finally hits but Stacy distracts him. Test pulls the turnbuckle pad off so the referee has to fix it. He gets a chair, Stacy takes it and accidentally nails Scott with it. The big boot ends it. Steiner would turn heel the next night and team with Test and “share” Stacy, which is what Stacy wanted in the first place, making this entirely pointless.

Rating: D. Not much here at all. This just wasn’t interesting and could very easily have been done on Raw. That’s a common problem with the single brand shows as there simply wasn’t enough talent to go around to support a 3 hour PPV show with PPV quality matches. That’s a bad sign and you’ll see more of it later on.

Ad for a Trish DVD.

Ross, you look like an idiot in that jersey. You really do.

We recap Shawn vs. Orton. It’s Legend vs. Legend Killer. What more explanation do you need here? It’s weird seeing Orton being all cocky like this. To say he was awesome in this roll is an understatement. Shawn says he’s a millionaire in this package. How did he lose that in I believe 5 years to the point where he needed JBL’s money?

Randy Orton vs. Shawn Michaels

We’re in the Evolution Era here so Flair is with Orton. There’s no Batista though due to an injury but he would be back very soon. They do some decent mat stuff to start which isn’t something you see out of Orton that often. Shawn is being goofy here as he does the whole lounging on the top rope bit which is always funny for some reason. We hear a lot about Orton vs. Foley which I can’t wait to get to as that was a great feud that went on for a long time.

Orton skins the cat which has to be the best name for an over the top return to the ring spot not involving the feet hitting the floor or the top rope ever. I mean what else comes close to it? Shawn counters a double axe off the top into an atomic drop. Then he skins the cat just to be a jerk like only he can be. Now he dives off the top. In case you can’t tell, Shawn is dominating here. There’s a German, which I can’t remember Shawn using otherwise.

I love when guys throw out random moves because they’re perfect. Why do you have to use a signature move when something you don’t do a lot is far more convenient ‘and makes more sense? The only answer I can think of is because it’s how the WWE tells them to do. Guys like Shawn can get away with it because they’re guys like Shawn. Flair interferes like an annoying pest and sets up Orton to be able to work on the arm. Orton does a nice job of controlling the arm.

Pay no attention to that though as we literally are getting the life story of Shawn Michaels for the last 2 minutes or so. We hear about how great he was when he was champion and how many big guys he beat and all that jazz. The attention that he got back then was maddening. Seriously with all the heart that Shawn has he really should see a cardiologist. That big of a heart can’t be normal. He goes insane and beats up Orton on the floor as you can more or less feel Flair getting ready to run in.

Before I even finish that line he does but it doesn’t matter. RKO gets two and MICHAELS IS EPIC! Ross, the brilliant football mind that he is, calls then Florida coach RON Zook JOHN Zook. Oh look: it’s Flair again. The elbow hits and we hear more about HEART. Is he Ma-Ti from Captain Planet or something?

He nips up and the kick connects. He gets the pin but Flair puts his foot on the ropes because he’s EVIL. The referees back in the day were freaking IDIOTS. Orton pops Shawn with a foreign object and gets the pin. Sweet goodness the referees sucked at times.

Rating: B-. Solid match here, but I’m still in awe of the idiocy of the referee. That and having Flair interfering in this about a thousand times was just annoying. Flair became such a pest in this time and would never really stop. The match worked quite well though as Shawn was still great at this point having not broken down again. To be fair he didn’t do that at all so there we go. This was good though but idiocy and annoyance hurt it.

Jericho says he’ll stop Steve Austin’s tyranny. He’s a mentor to La Resistance for no apparent reason.

Molly Holly/Gail Kim vs. Trish Stratus/Lita

This feud is more or less about Molly and Gail being jealous of Lita and Trish being insanely popular. Standard stuff to put it mildly. Molly is Women’s Champion here and is actually looking good. Lita was out for almost a year because of a broken neck and now wears khaki shorts. Yep she’s gorgeous. The non-famous girls jump them early and that doesn’t work at all.

This is Lita’s return match. Oh seriously who do you expect to win this? You have two girls that are about as middle of the road as possible and the first two women to main event Raw. Lita and Gail are the actual starters and Lita nips up as we hear about King having a vasectomy. Molly hooks a Dragon Sleeper on Trish which works about as well as you would expect it to. Gail is gorgeous. That’s all there is to it.

Now Gail does a Dragon Sleeper. Trish walks up the turnbuckles and backflips into a reverse DDT. FREAKING SWEET. Molly looks good as a brunette and in blue. Trish manages to beat up both girls on her own since Lita is bleeding from the mouth. Lita gets the mostly warm but partly cloudy with a 30% chance of showers tag. Trish knocks Gail to the floor and Lita hits the moonsault to get the win which was about as predictable as you could expect.

Rating: D+. This was exactly what you would expect here. Lita was indeed a huge deal as she and Trish were just flat out awesome around this point but the injury took her out for over a year. This was nothing more than a welcome home match and it did exactly what it was supposed to do: announce that Lita is still awesome.

We recap Shane vs. Kane which started because Austin went off on Kane and soon afterwards had his masked ripped off. He then went nuts and lit JR on fire and tombstoned Linda on the stage (any bets on how much her Senate opponent would love that clip?). Shane of course got the first feud with the newly psycho Kane because no one draws face pops like Shane.

Pay no attention to the fact that the crowd got bored out of their mind with this because they had like 3 PPV matches in a row. The problem was that Shane could never hurt Kane but he kept trying anyway. He even threw him into a pit of fire. So then Shane got handcuffed to the post and had his legs pinned down by the stairs.

Kane of course had jumper cables stashed by the ring along with a battery. He electrocuted Shane’s balls. That was the signature moment of this feud and it made a lot of people’s heads hurt. It’s a Last Man Standing match too.

Kane vs. Shane McMahon

Shane jumps Kane in the aisle with a chair and it’s on. That’s about 9 shots with it including a jumping one to the head. Shane wisely goes for the knee. That’s smart if nothing else so there we go. This is all Shane so far so I can’t imagine that it’ll last much longer. The beating I mean, as I can’t imagine this is going to be short. Kane’s back is bleeding but he catches Shane in a powerslam from a jump off the barrier that looked pretty bad. Hey I was right as it’s all Kane now.

Shane gets up at 9 from the chokeslam and then Kane kicks the referee in the face by mistake. Kane talks about Shane’s mom, which today would get him on a cable news show. He tries a tombstone on the steps but it gets blocked. Shane sets up the steps on Kane in the corner. Pay no attention to the fact that we already saw that they are hollow as he kicks the bottom of them into Kane’s face with the Coast to Coast. No ref though. Look at my big sad face.

Actually it is sad because it means this goes on. This is NOTHING compared to Shane vs. Angle from the 02 KOTR, but then again not much is. Both guys are down so we get a double count which I don’t think makes sense but whatever. We’re in the aisle now which sounds like a really bad song name for some reason. Shane goes into the set and it sounds loud. That’s about the extent of its good quality. So hey let’s do it again. Then three more of them.

We get it: Shane has heart. What is the deal with the big hearts in this company? I think the Wellness Policy needs a new amendment. This was during the time where the announcers set up by the entrance, so Kane puts Shane beneath the platform they sit on and dumps their table onto Shane. Sure why not. And then he laughs.

See the sentence two before this one. Shane is of course fine and up within about a second, blasting Kane in the head. He uses a boom camera to blast Kane which of course doesn’t work either. Shane chokes him with a cord and knocks him out in front of the set which has a ladder attached. He jumps. He misses. The match ends.

Rating: D+. This was just boring. The bumps are decent at best and Shane is almost always fun to watch, but dang man. There was just NO drama here. When Shane fought Angle, there was a real feeling that Shane could beat him. I know it was unlikely, but there was this feeling that he could pull it off and he got very close a few times. This just didn’t have it and 19 minutes is FAR too long. Not very good, but it’s not a nightmare by any sense of the word. This would go on until Survivor Series.

Shane takes forever to get taken out on a stretcher.

Jericho and Austin talk. Jericho was trying to get in Austin’s head for a long time but of course it never worked. Austin says if Jericho has a problem to take his best shot.

Intercontinental Title: Christian vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Chris Jericho

Christian has the belt here. He beat up both guys when they were having a triple threat match so Austin made it a triple threat. The Canadians made a pact before the match to take out RVD. I’d bet against that working. This is a smark dream match today. Ross says RVD is the best to never be the world champion. How did Heyman never put the belt on him? I can understand being shaky in WWF, but come on. In ECW? SERIOUSLY?

The double teaming actually works to start us off. And so much for that as RVD fights them off. And we’re into math world now. We get RVD vs. Jericho for a bit until Christian gets back up. He wasn’t very good at all yet and was just this young guy that got on people’s nerves. Think of Heath Slater but with short hair and a higher coolness to him. The partnership actually works fairly well here. Ross even calls it a modified handicap match.

That kind of makes sense but whatever. Wow it’s weird seeing Nick Patrick working for the WWE. The crowd isn’t exactly enthralled here. Ross points out that you can’t get counted out in a triple threat. Unless you’re trying to become #1 contender in TNA. We’re told that Shane is going to the hospital. Naturally he’d be on Raw the next night. Jericho took the tape off to choke Van Dan with and he looks weird with a bare arm.

Christian has been gone forever now. After RVD is in the Walls forever, Christian makes his untriumphant return and beats on Jericho, ending the partnership that never was. They would have a solid feud next year though so maybe this is foreshadowing. I love that jumping back elbow for some reason. Christian gets crotched on the top which sounds REALLY bad. The referee counts again and Ross questions why. I bet TNA paid him off.

In a cool spot, RVD hits a drop toehold on Christian to have him on Jericho and then hits a Five Star on both of them, but he doesn’t get a cover for no apparent reason. In an AMAZING looking visual, Jericho is on the top rope and Van Dam hooks an electric chair and Christian comes underneath to add a powerbomb.

The thing is that given how the other two guys were positioned, it looked like an actual powerbomb which looked incredible. Christian gets the belt and holds it in place to have RVD land on it in another Five Star, which is enough to pin Van Dam.

Rating: D+. This got TWENTY MINUTES. Now today it’s a classic. At this point though it’s just a bad idea. Christian was a glorified jobber at this point as he wasn’t ready to hold the title yet. Jericho was in a really weird funk and RVD was his usual hit or miss self. If you cut this in half it goes through the roof, but there were far too many dead spots in this.

HHH talks about fairy tales. He was just horrible at this point.

We recap Coach/Snow vs. Ross/Lawler. Yes, that’s the next match. They’re feuding because the former two want to host Raw so they’re trying to take over. They host Heat if that makes sense. Yep, this is a match.

Jim Ross/Jerry Lawler vs. Al Snow/Jonathan Coachman

The winner to do the announcing for Raw. Yes, they asked people to pay $34.95 for this. There’s no commentary for this. I think I can get by without the extra jokes somehow. The wrestlers start and Lawler kind of botches a rollup. Ok then. The lack of commentary is weird here but then again I’m watching Ross and Coach on PPV. You can hear them shouting at each other a lot better which is weird to hear.

That might be Ross’ big mouth though so there we are. Snow “hits” a clothesline and I say that in the weakest sense of the word hit. Snow, being younger and better at this point, dominates as we’re just waiting on the other guys to come in and make it a comedy match. Coach is the team captain apparently. Oh dear. There’s the piledriver on Snow and JR does commentary from the apron. The foot gets to the ropes but Snow sold that like he had an anvil fall on his head so I can’t complain there.

And it’s Coach time, which has even Snow wondering what the heck he’s doing. As usual, Lawler’s offense is shall we say limited? The middle rope punch hits but Snow makes the save. Ross gets a blind tag and the referee is fine with it I guess. He beats up Coach for awhile and I see why he stayed in the booth for his career.

Coach keeps shouting not in the face which is funny. And here’s Jericho to kick Ross in the head and let Coach and Snow become the Raw announcers tomorrow. Ross would beat Coach in 8 days to get the sanity back. Jericho says this is to get back at Austin for no apparent reason.

Rating: F. Seriously, do I need to explain why this going on for 8 minutes was a bad idea? It was mainly Al Snow vs. Jerry Lawler and someone thought this was a good idea. Here’s the thing: no one really cares about announcers in a national company. Wait scratch that. They do care about them, but only the way they sound. We don’t want to see them in the ring other than a once a year match from Lawler in Memphis. That’s it. Now stop doing this nonsense.

We recap Goldberg vs. HHH which is more or less that Goldberg knows he can beat HHH and HHH knows he can’t beat Goldberg so he keeps hiding. He used the sledgehammer at Summerslam to keep it in the Elimination Chamber. It’s title vs. career here. Let’s get this over with.

Raw World Title: Goldberg vs. HHH

Also if HHH loses by countout or disqualification he loses the belt. Ross and Lawler are back for commentary here. Ross of course can’t remember when the stakes were ever higher. I love hyperbole in wrestling. This is nut cutting time apparently. Ok then. Ross says he has to mat wrestle Goldberg to keep the title. I thought he had to win the match to retain. Then again I’m no professional.

Goldberg in the shorts never worked. Also they remixed his music for no apparent reason at all. HHH still had a groin injury here so he’s wearing long shorts which look weird. We even get referee instructions. Lawler says it doesn’t get any bigger than this. Again, yeah it does. It’s a power match to start, which despite his huge muscles, HHH has never been portrayed as one other than the spinebuster. The Pedigree certainly isn’t a power move.

Goldberg of course wins it as we’re told that HHH is 4-0 at Unforgiven. Ross and Lawler are rather chipper for guys that just lost their jobs. This match is of course awkward as their styles just clash completely. WWE just had no idea how to use Goldberg. He was a monster but they had him lose far too much and be hurt far too much. They just didn’t get it and it never really worked. The spear eats knee and HHH takes over.

So despite everything that Goldberg has taken over the years, a knee to the head stops him. Sure why not. There’s a Figure Four. I get that Flair is great, but does he have to get so many freaking tributes to him? In a cool power spot, Goldberg catches the knee of HHH on a kneedrop. He just puts his hands up and blocks the knee of a 270+ pound guy, not even factoring in force, the jump that HHH did to get there, the velocity and momentum and the height he got.

That’s so ridiculously over the top that it’s AWESOME. HHH is busted open after going into the steps. And what would a main event be without a ref bump? HHH gets a sledgehammer shot to the jaw which likely should kill Goldberg but he’s up in like 3 seconds and hits the spear. The Jackhammer gives him the title clean.

Rating: D+. This was just generic. It could have been the main event of any big Raw minus the title change. Also, I know Goldberg was a big star but he just doesn’t fit in here at all. They try to make this a huge thing but it just isn’t. More than anything else they just wanted to get the belt off of HHH who had held it since like January. This just had nothing at all going for it though and just wasn’t interesting at all. Not bad from a technical standpoint, but just not a good match at all.

Overall Rating: D. There’s just nothing very good here. The thing isn’t that it’s a bad show. It’s not horrible or one of the worst shows ever or anything, but it’s just really weak. There’s nothing worth paying anything to see as all of these matches have either been done better at other shows or aren’t all that interesting to begin with.

Orton continuing his rise to greatness is about all that’s worth anything here. Again, the matches aren’t horrible, but there’s just no reason to want to watch them. Definitely not recommended.

 

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No this isn’t about Vince McMahon’s sexual abilities in case you were thinking about it for some reason.  If you were, I beg of you to seek help.Why has no one used the Jackhammer as a finisher since Goldberg?  It’s a good power move but you only occasionally see it used in the middle of a match.  Goldberg hasn’t wrestled in eight and a half years, so why not use it?  It would be a good power move for someone instead of all of the neckbreakers and face first slams we get anymore.

This is another internet wrestling/wrestling in general obsession that I don’t get.Goldberg debuted in 1997, won the US Title in spring of 1998, won the world title in July of 98, lost it in December, feuded with Hall and Nash until the summer, left for a month or two, came back and feuded with Sting, feuded with Russo and hurt his arm attacking the limo, missed four more months, came back, turned heel, turned face, restarted the Streak, and got hurt again in January and was never seen in WCW again.

 

Then he debuted in WWE in March of 2003, feuded with and beat Rock, feuded with HHH over the summer and won the world title, lost the title in December, feuded with Lesnar and had a horrible match with him at Wrestlemania 20.

 

That is Bill Goldberg’s American wrestling career, with every major moment listed in two paragraphs.  Goldberg last appeared in a WWE ring over eight and a half years ago, or longer than Austin and Rock’s WWF careers.

 

So why is the audience still obsessed with the guy?  You hear his name chanted anytime someone goes on a winning streak, people seemingly drool over the idea of him coming back, and people keep wanting him to come back for one more run.  Why?  What is this obsession with Goldberg?  I don’t get it at all.  He’s going to be 46 in December so it’s not like he’d have a long run in him.  His entire career ran for about five years yet people STILL want him back.

 

Someone explain this to me.