Summerslam 2002
Date: August 25, 2002
Location: Nassau Veterans Memorial, Uniondale, New York
Attendance: 14,797
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, Jim Ross

It’s very rare that a Summerslam is the biggest show of the year but that might be the case in 2002. Wrestlemania XVIII was in a much bigger venue and had a much bigger top match but as far as a whole card goes from top to bottom, this might have it beaten. The big matches here are Brock Lesnar challenging the Rock for the Undisputed Title and HHH vs. Shawn Michaels in a grudge match with Shawn making his first in-ring appearance since 1998. Let’s get to it.

Not much of an opening video other than the theme song over shots of the crowd.

Opening sequence.

Kurt Angle vs. Rey Mysterio

Rey showed Angle up recently and Kurt wants to prove that it’s just a fluke. Angle’s singlet looks like a barber pole and Rey sneaks in from behind with a springboard ankle scissors. The ankle lock goes on in less than thirty seconds but Rey sends him into the ropes with Kurt having to duck the 619.

A hard wheelbarrow suplex sends Rey hard onto the mat and one heck of a clothesline gives Angle two. Rey’s back is bent around the middle rope and Angle is getting a bit too cocky. A one legged Liontamer has Mysterio in even more trouble but a rollup gives him a fast two. Rey is certainly sticking around well enough so far.

That just ticks Angle off though and he throws Rey with a belly to belly. Kurt misses a charge though and goes sailing over the top but the referee won’t let Mysterio fly. That’s fine with Rey who flips OVER THE REFEREE to take Kurt down. The fans are losing their mind and Rey Dropping the Dime (springboard legdrop) for two makes them even worse. Now the 619 connects and the West Coast Pop is good for a VERY near fall. Rey puts him on top for a super hurricanrana but Angle slips out and grabs the ankle lock for the submission at 9:20.

Rating: A-. What a match. This is one of the best opening matches in company history as they just do not stop for the better part of ten minutes. It’s an outstanding performance with Rey getting his big breakout performance and Angle showing that he’s still one of the best in the world.

Stephanie McMahon brags about that match and tells a production guy to tell Eric Bischoff about it. She goes into her office and….there’s Eric, who seems to be sharing the office with her. I’m sure comedy and drama will ensue.

Ric Flair vs. Chris Jericho

Standard “you’re old and it’s my time so get out” feud with the required broken guitars to ruin a mid-show concert segment as well. This is actually Flair’s in-ring debut at Summerslam. Feeling out process to start and we hear about Jericho becoming the first ever Undisputed Champion. JR: “Not too many people can claim that.” Yeah Jim. I think it’s like, one or so.

Jericho misses an elbow drop and the chops start flying. They head outside with Jericho sending him into the barricade, followed by a middle rope dropkick for two back inside. Some suplexes stay on Flair’s back so you certainly can’t fault Jericho’s psychology. This time it’s Jericho taking too much time going up though and Flair slams him right back down.

The Walls are countered into a small package for two but Jericho goes extra evil by grabbing the Figure Four (I said evil, not original). In a creative save, Flair grabs the rope and then taps out, which means the hold is broken and the submission doesn’t count. The referee gets bumped and it’s a low blow into the Figure Four to make Jericho tap at 10:23.

Rating: C+. This was fine and while I’m not wild on having Flair go over Jericho, at least he lost in a good match to a dirty finish. If nothing else it could mean a whiny Jericho and that’s nothing but entertainment. Oh and Flair low blows are always worth checking out, just for how hard he hits those things.

Ad for a Hogan DVD.

Paul Heyman loves the idea of the Hogan DVD because it looks like they’re trying to squeeze out the final few dollars from his body after Lesnar destroyed him. Tonight, Lesnar destroys the Rock.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Edge

Apparently Eddie is mad that Edge fancies himself a sex symbol. I don’t really remember that being brought up on TV leading up to this match but maybe it was subtext. Eddie snaps the back of Edge’s neck across the top rope and takes over, only to get thrown across the ring.

Edge ties him up in the ropes and hits a spear but a second attempt misses to send the Canadian outside. That might mean a bad shoulder so Eddie sends him into the steps. Back to back DDT’s on the arm including one from the top get two on Edge and we hit a Kimura of all things.

It’s off to a crossface chickenwing and then a top wristlock which is a very good idea. I get so bored watching matches where we get the same hold over and over. There are so many holds that can be used on the same body part so mixing it up like this helps so much. Edge fights back with a one armed slam and a faceplant to send Eddie outside.

It doesn’t take two good arms to dive out to the floor so Edge takes Eddie out all over again. Back in and a super sitout gordbuster gives Edge two more, followed by the Edgecution for the same. Eddie goes right back to the shoulder but walks into the spear (more on that in a second) at 11:47.

Rating: B-. This was going to be much higher until that completely ridiculous ending. Eddie spent eleven minutes working on the arm and then Edge just uses the shoulder for the spear to end the match with nothing more than a flinch? There’s no excuse for that and Edge should know better.

The Un-Americans are ready to give the greedy Americans more. More of the Un-Americans that is.

Tag Team Titles: Goldust/Booker T. vs. Un-Americans

Lance Storm and Christian are defending. Goldust cleans house to start before it’s off to Booker, who JR describes as being “as Americana as Americana can be.” The Canadians are still reeling so Storm throws Goldust over the corner to take over, setting up some of those weird hopping stomps.

Christian gets two on a backbreaker, which JR says works on the back. Something like a Boss Man Slam gets Goldust out of trouble but Christian grabs a front facelock. As you might expect, that means a missed tag so Goldust has to catapult the champions into each other.

That’s STILL not enough for the tag though as the champs knock Booker off the apron, only to miss a Conchairto. The USA chant starts up and there’s the hot tag to Booker who scores with a missile dropkick on Christian. Storm hits the referee by mistake and both champions take the same ax kick. Cue Test to kick Booker’s head off, giving Christian the pin at 9:35.

Rating: C. The match was fine but the ending brought it down a good bit with the standard WWE style finish hurting things a lot. At least we had a good match to get there and the Un-Americans are still fine for heel champions. The Test stuff gets annoying but you had to know it was coming as soon as the ref went down.

There’s a Make Out with Nidia Contest at the World. We’re moving on before that sinks in.

Stephanie and Bischoff debate women’s place in wrestling. McMahon: “It’s like mine: ON TOP!” This turns into a discussion of the Intercontinental Title match and GOOD GRIEF Stephanie’s acting is somehow worse here.

Intercontinental Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Chris Benoit

This is Raw vs. Smackdown and Benoit is defending. A kick to the leg sends Benoit outside but he comes back in and easily takes Van Dam down until Rob starts spinning around to escape. The release German suplex drops him again though and Benoit starts in on the neck to set up for the Crossface later on.

A Dynamite Kid snap suplex gets two on Van Dam but he avoids the Swan Dive. Chris does the same to the Five Star though and it’s time for the Crossface. The long legs get Van Dam over to the ropes so Benoit shoves him off the top and down onto the barricade for a crash. Benoit cranks on the arms for a bit and slams him head first into the mat to keep Van Dam in trouble.

It’s right back to the Crossface with Van Dam quickly breaking free, only to be sent shoulder first into the post. Some suplexes onto the arm make me realize that Eddie probably should have worked something other than the arm if Benoit, whose finisher is an arm hold, was going to do this.

Another Crossface is about to be broken so Benoit switches into a dragon sleeper of all things. That’s escaped as well and Van Dam’s hair is down in a very rare sight. Rolling Thunder gets two on Benoit but he’s able to crotch Rob on top. You don’t try a belly to back superplex on a high flier though as Rob crossbodies his way out, setting up the Five Star for the pin and the title at 16:22.

Rating: B. Sometimes you just need to have two talented guys go out there and have a match. The shoulder didn’t quite play into the finish but at least Van Dam’s finisher isn’t done with his arm. I liked this more than I was expecting to and that’s always a positive, especially on a show this stacked.

Bischoff gloats so Stephanie laughs at him. WELL OF COURSE SHE DOES! How dare we suggest that Stephanie not have some kind of ace up her sleeve? That’s why people get tired of Stephanie: she almost NEVER has to give up anything and it gets old in a hurry. I’m sure she’s stolen some other talent and Bischoff will be crushed while Stephanie gets to dance around and talk about how great Smackdown and its fans really are.

Video on the Un-Americans to set up Test vs. Undertaker.

Undertaker vs. Test

JR says Undertaker has a big home field advantage. I get what he’s going for but we’re MUCH closer to Canada and Toronto in general than we are to Houston. But then again, never underestimate how hard an American announcer is going to push his countryman in a feud like this. Undertaker starts with a hiptoss of all things but a knee to the ribs cuts off some driving shoulders.

Test shoves the referee into the ropes to break up Old School and since this isn’t Raw, that’s not a DQ. After a quick trip to the floor, Test very slowly hammers away in the corner and drops a knee on the ribs. It’s off to an armbar of all things until Undertaker fights up and suplexes his way to freedom. AMERICAN freedom that is.

The pumphandle slam doesn’t work so Undertaker plants him with a chokeslam for a delayed two. Cue Storm and Christian for a distraction so Test can get in the big boot for two of his own. Test grabs a chair and shoves the referee down, allowing Undertaker to kick the chair straight back into his face. The Tombstone ends Test at 8:20.

Rating: D. This was fine for a long Raw match but on a show with this much talent around, it’s only going to go so far. Undertaker winning is fine enough as it’s really hard to buy Test beating someone who was in the main event of last month’s pay per view going toe to toe to toe with Rock and Kurt Angle.

Undertaker goes into the crowd and grabs an American flag for some posing.

We get a long and very good recap of HHH vs. Shawn Michaels. They used to be friends and Shawn came back as part of the NWO. After the team was disbanded, Shawn came back again and was made into HHH’s manager. That wasn’t cool with Shawn and his Texas pride so HHH beat him up twice in a row, including putting Shawn through a car window. Shawn is willing to have one more fight (not match, but fight) here tonight.

HHH vs. Shawn Michaels

Anything goes and unsanctioned with Shawn in jeans. Shawn hammers away to start and spears HHH down for more right hands. They’re quickly on the floor with Shawn ramming him head first into the post. It’s time for some toys, including a trashcan to HHH’s head and a top rope right hand for the same.

Sweet Chin Music misses less than three minutes in and Shawn walks into a spinebuster for the first real shot to his bad back. Like a smart villain, HHH starts in on the back but Shawn says bring it, earning himself a kick to the chest. One heck of a chair shot to the back has Shawn’s face in agony, which is where so much of this match’s strength comes from. Michaels could tell such a story with his face and it really does bring you deeper into the story they’re trying to tell.

Shawn gets in a desperation rollup for two but walks into the facebuster to cut him off again. A DDT on the chair gets two and we’ve got some blood. HHH steals Shawn’s belt for a good old fashioned whipping followed by a few buckle shots to the cut head. With Shawn pulling himself to his feet, it’s sledgehammer time. As is his custom though, Shawn cuts HHH off at the exactly right time, earning himself an abdominal stretch.

HHH goes for the hammer again but Earl Hebner calls him off and yells a lot. A superplex is broken up so HHH blasts him in the back with the chair again. There’s a side slam through an open chair and Shawn looks dead. You can feel the fans getting more and more into this and JR wants the referee to do a fast count. Shawn kicks out and now HHH is getting frustrated because Michaels won’t stay down.

Another side slam onto a closed chair gets the same and HHH covers three times in a row. The Pedigree is broken up by a low blow and you can feel the crowd coming back to life. HHH grabs the chair but a desperation superkick knocks it into HHH’s face to draw blood as well. Shawn hits the forearm into the nipup and the fans actually come to their feet as it’s the old Shawn one more time. A great chair shot to the head drops HHH and Shawn picks up the belt to even things up a bit from earlier.

Shawn bulldogs the very bloody HHH onto the steps to knock him even sillier. Since that’s not enough, let’s bring in a ladder too. Said ladder is thrown inside but HHH baseball slides it into Shawn’s ribs for a breather. HHH goes up top for some reason and it’s a superplex to bring him back down for two. Now the steps are brought in but Shawn drop toeholds HHH into them before knocking him outside again.

With nothing else left, here’s a table too with Shawn splashing HHH off the top through the wood. HHH very slowly rolls back in and Shawn brings the ladder inside again. The big elbow off the ladder crushes HHH and Shawn pops right back up. It’s superkick time but HHH counters into the Pedigree which is countered into a jackknife rollup for the pin at 27:19.

Rating: A+. My goodness what a performance. That’s the only way to put it as Shawn basically started all over again and had this kind of an amazing match. This was some outstanding storytelling with Michaels taking us to the very brink but fighting back until there was an actual way to believe he could pull it off. HHH was at his most dastardly here and that makes for one heck of a match. This is one of the best matches of both of their careers and the circumstances make it even more amazing. Shawn timed that comeback as well as anything I’ve ever seen and I got swept up in the match all over again. Just excellent.

Post match, HHH hits a celebrating Shawn in the back with a sledgehammer to go biggest heel ever. Shawn does a stretcher job, seemingly putting him out of action for a long time. Oh and one more thing: for some reason HHH has tried to claim that this match was forty five minutes long. Even if you count the entrances and the post match stuff, it’s less than thirty six minutes total. That’s a big stretch even in wrestling, which is covering a lot of ground.

Here’s Howard Finkel of all people to talk about how he hasn’t been here since Wrestlemania II but you’ll always have him because of loyalty. Cue Trish Stratus (who has been feuding with a sexist Finkel) but the Fink doesn’t want to hear from someone who thinks she’s hot stuff because of her looks. Trish hits on him and Finkel makes sex jokes until Lillian Garcia (who is having the real issues with him) to slap Howard in the face and kick him low. This was just a way to calm things down after the previous match but it was still stupid.

We recap Brock Lesnar vs. The Rock. Lesnar won the King of the Ring tournament to earn this show and Rock won the title at Vengeance. Brock has run through the company but this is by far his biggest test to date.

Undisputed Title: Brock Lesnar vs. The Rock

Lesnar is challenging and has Paul Heyman in his corner. The fans are ALL OVER Rock as he charges right into a belly to belly, further banging up his already injured ribs. Some backbreakers have the fans cheering for Rock though and Brock takes him outside for a beating in the crowd.

Back in and another belly to belly sends Rock flying for two. Heyman even gets in a little choking as Rock’s right hands are cut off by a powerslam. Brock charges into the post and three straight clotheslines finally put him down for two. It’s off to a bad Sharpshooter with Rock nowhere near sitting on Brock’s back.

Heyman finally gets on the apron for a distraction but Lesnar saves his agent from a Rock Bottom. The distraction lets a chair go into Rock’s ribs, setting up a bearhug into a waistlock on the mat. This stays on WAY too long but to be fair, Lesnar isn’t really capable of having a long match on his own just yet.

Rock punches his way out but takes one heck of a running shoulder to the ribs in the corner. Lesnar gets punched (you might notice a pattern emerging here) outside again and it’s announcers’ table time. Instead though Brock gets catapulted into the table and Heyman takes a very slow motion Rock Bottom through the table.

Back in and the Rock Bottom only gets two but Lesnar grabs one of his own (JR: “Brock Bottom?”) for another near fall. The spinebuster looks to set up the People’s Elbow but Brock jumps up for a BIG clothesline. Brock can’t hit the F5 but reverses the Rock Bottom into the F5 for the pin and the title at 16:02.

Rating: B. It’s not a classic but the key thing here is that Brock reversed Rock’s finisher into his own for the completely clean pin. Heyman hadn’t been a factor for about five minutes so the pinfall is WAY more important. Lesnar won because he was better here (ignoring the rib injuries but that was hardly cheating). This was a good match but it’s important and well done which is all that matters.

Overall Rating: A. This is one of the best pay per views the company has ever put on and pretty easily the best Summerslam ever. The worst match of the night was Undertaker vs. Test and even that was watchable. Throw in a masterpiece like HHH vs. Michaels and this is an instant classic, which isn’t often the case at Summerslam.

Ratings Comparison

Kurt Angle vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A-

2017 Redo: A-

Chris Jericho vs. Ric Flair

Original: B

2013 Redo: C

2017 Redo: C+

Eddie Guerrero vs. Edge

Original: C+

2013 Redo: B-

2017 Redo: B-

Un-Americans vs. Booker T/Goldust

Original: C-

2013 Redo: D+

2017 Redo: C

Rob Van Dam vs. Chris Benoit

Original: B

2013 Redo: B

2017 Redo: B

Undertaker vs. Test

Original: D

2013 Redo: D

2017 Redo: D

Shawn Michaels vs. HHH

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A+

2017 Redo: A+

The Rock vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: C+

2013 Redo: B-

2017 Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A+

2017 Redo: A

Still a masterpiece.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/08/05/history-of-summerslam-count-up-summerslam-2002-best-summerslam-ever/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/08/07/summerslam-count-up-2002-the-performance-of-a-lifetime/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Summerslam 1996
Date: August 18, 1996
Location: Gund Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Attendance: 17,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jim Ross, Mr. Perfect

This is not the best time for the WWF as the company has been dealing with the NWO for the last month and a half. Shawn Michaels is doing as much as he can and is doing it again here as he defends the WWF Title against Vader in the main event. Other than that though, we have a Boiler Room Brawl between the Undertaker and Mankind. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Steve Austin vs. Yokozuna

We’ll throw in a bonus here for a somewhat infamous match. Austin hammers away to start and gets knocked down without much trouble. A Samoan drop and legdrop put Austin down and the Banzai Drop is loaded up….but the ropes break and Yokozuna falls down, allowing Austin to get the fast pin at 1:53. Well that got the point across. Vince: “HE IS SO HEAVY!” Yeah that.

The opening video looks at the two main events, which is about fighting the monsters of Mankind and Vader. Makes sense.

Commentary previews the show and a fan actually comes up asking Perfect for an autograph, which he shoves off without saying a word. Even Vince seems to glare at the guy a bit.

Savio Vega vs. Owen Hart

Hart has a cast on his left wrist, with Vince and JR questioning how slowly it has healed. Feeling out process to start with neither getting very far, though the referee does threaten Hart for using the cast. Vega leapfrogs him and sends the cast into various buckles, followed by an armbar.

We cut to the back where Jim Cornette (Hart’s manager) is helping Vader warm up as Vega stays on the arm. There are some fans loudly chanting for Owen, though Vega taking him down by the arm quiets them down a bit. Hart gets up and manages to send him shoulder first into the corner, allowing the stomping to ensue. Vega gets caught in an armbar for a change before Hart switches into an armbar from a different angle for a change of pace. A bite to the leg of all things gets Vega out so Hart ties the arm up in the ropes and slaps him in the face.

Cue Clarence Mason (Jim Cornette’s lawyer) to watch as Vega misses a spinwheel kick but hits a crossbody for two. Back up and Hart’s enziguri connects as Mason is playing cheerleader. Hart’s rollup with feet on the ropes gets two, as does Vega’s rollup. Vega gets up a spinning kick to the face in the corner and a legdrop gets two.

Hart is right back with a kick of his own, followed by a missile dropkick for two of his own. It’s time to go up again but this time Hart gets crotched, setting up a belly to back superplex. Vega seems to land on the cast though, allowing Hart to take it off and knock Vega cold. Somehow the referee didn’t see it, despite it being right in front of his face, and the Sharpshooter goes on to give Hart the win at 13:25.

Rating: C+. Fine enough opener as Hart is always worth a look, though Vega was reaching the end of his usefulness by this point. There’s nothing wrong with having two faster paced guys getting out there to start the show, though trimming a few minutes off here wouldn’t have hurt either. The cast shot at the end didn’t do it any favors either, as there was no reason to believe the referee didn’t see it.

Post match here is Justin Hawk Bradshaw to yell about Vega, who Bradshaw wants to send back to “that island”. Bradshaw gets in a cheap shot on Vega in the aisle to leave him laying again.

Todd Pettingill is scared of being in the boiler room, where he runs into Mankind, who insists that there is no place like home. Undertaker can come in, but beware that he will be seeing a fate worse than death. Mankind licks a pipe.

Tag Team Titles: New Rockers vs. Smoking Gunns vs. Godwinns vs. Bodydonnas

The Gunns, with Sunny, are defending with elimination rules. Skip (of the Bodydonnas) has a neck brace due to a fractured vertebrae. Meanwhile, the Godwinns have Hillbilly Jim, a pig and a basset hound, because Vince McMahon had a thing for hillbillies. Billy and Henry start things off with Henry running him over with a shoulder. A clothesline does it as well and Phineas comes in to throw Zip around.

Billy wants the people to sit down and shut up…so Phineas and Zip tag in both Gunns. Sunny panics as commentary talks about how they have to make contact. This is then proven wrong as Bart tags out to Zip without any issue. Zip takes over on Billy but Jannetty trips Zip down for the pin at 4:03 (likely due to Skip’s injury).

It’s back to Henry to work on Billy’s arm but Cassidy (Al Snow) gets in a cheap shot from the apron to cut Henry down. This means a Partridge Family reference, because the New Rockers are big into that 60s music scene. The Rockers and Gunns start double teamming the Godwinns until some heel miscommunication breaks that down. The Godwinns are fine with going after both of them and we get some double noggin knockers. A quick Slop Drop gets rid of the Rockers at 7:21 and we’re down to two.

Bart hammers on Henry, who is back with a heck of a clothesline to leave both of them down. It’s too far for the tag though and Billy comes in to yell a lot, much to Sunny’s appreciation. Henry gets back with an atomic drop and a World’s Strongest Slam, which is enough for the tag back to Phineas. Everything breaks down and Henry Cactus Clotheslines Bart out to the floor. Phineas hits the Slop Drop on Billy but Bart comes off the top with an ax handle, allowing Billy to steal the pin at 12:21.

Rating: D+. The word that comes to mind here is lifeless. This was a bunch of people going out there and doing their moves to each other until one of them got the win. It wasn’t exciting, it wasn’t interesting and the fans didn’t seem to care. The tag division was such a dead zone around this time and this was a perfect example of why. There was just nothing here and it showed very, very badly.

Post match Sunny brags about the Gunns and unveils a huge poster of herself, her favorite subject.

We look at the WWF taking over Cleveland in recent days. This involves a train racing a carriage to show the fastest way to the arena. Believe it or not, the train wins. Then Jerry Lawler went to a Cleveland Indians practice and tried to learn the spitball. One of the players offered to teach him in exchange for a piledriver. Some wrestlers also helped paint over some graffiti in a nice moment. To top it off, Undertaker and Paul Bearer gave away…a funeral?

British Bulldog vs. Sycho Sid

No Cornette for Bulldog either but Mason is here again. In the back, Sid is glad the fans seem to like him since he came back and is ready to fight. As usual, Sid has the weirdest charisma and it carried him so far. Sid starts fairly fast with a slam to send Bulldog outside, leaving the fans to give us a LET’S GO SID chant. Back in and Sid grabs a headlock but Bulldog fights out and hits the rather impressive delayed vertical suplex.

We hit the chinlock for a bit before Cornette clotheslines him to the floor. Cornette is at least watching the match in the back as Vader warms up (he’s been at it for forty minutes now) and Bulldog drapes him ribs first over the top. The chinlock goes on again but Sid is up rather quickly. A charge misses in the corner though and Bulldog nails the running powerslam. Cue Cornette to yell at Mason though and the distraction means no cover. Another powerslam is loaded up but Sid escapes and hits the chokeslam. The powerbomb gives Sid the pin at 6:26.

Rating: C. Sid was always good for an acceptable enough power match and that’s about what we got here. The bigger deal is between Cornette and Mason, which is about as interesting as you would imagine. That’s a big part of why the company was losing to WCW and it would get even worse: yes WCW had the NWO, but look at what the WWF was using to counter. This was fine, but it’s not like it was anything that you would remember in an hour or so.

Goldust vs. Marc Mero

Goldust has Marlena with him but has an eye for Sable, who is here with Mero. Before the match, Mero talks about not liking the attention Mankind has been giving Sable and promises to make Goldust a falling star. Goldust does his crawling thing to start but Mero isn’t having any of that and knocks him into the corner. A drop toehold into an armbar has Goldust in trouble and Marlena doesn’t seem to care in the slightest.

Commentary talks about Ahmed Johnson’s (latest) injury as Mero works on the arm even more. Goldust fights back and knocks him to the apron, followed by into the barricade in a variety of ways. Cue Mankind to call Sable “Mommy”, get fairly close to her, and then leave. Goldust’s chinlock and clothesline get two but Mero fights up and makes the comeback.

An atomic drop and left hands rock Goldust and Mero leverages him outside. Back in and a slingshot legdrop sets up the debuting Wild Thing (shooting star press)…but Marlena has the referee. The delay lets Goldust kick out, which is amazingly stupid given how they just debuted that kind of a move. A powerslam gives Mero two more but Goldust is back with a quick Curtain Call for the win at 11:01.

Rating: C+. This could have been a lot worse, but the kickout of the Wild Thing was ridiculous. Again: if they want someone or something to get over, stop having it be used in the middle of a match to next to no impact. If you want Goldust to win then fine, but don’t cut the legs off of Mero’s awesome new move in the process. That doesn’t help him at all and the result could have been the same without that boneheaded decision.

Post match Goldust goes after Sable but Mero makes the save.

We look at Intercontinental Champion Ahmed Johnson winning a battle royal to earn a title shot the night after Summerslam on Raw but he was already hurt and then got in a fight with Faarooq. He had a ruptured kidney and as a result, his title is vacant. His future isn’t clear, but he’ll be out for a few months at least. There will be a tournament for the Intercontinental Title and a four man battle royal, consisting of the final four eliminated from the original battle royal, for the title shot. Johnson would return to the ring but he never really recovered.

Here are Sunny and Faarooq, still in the blue gladiator period, for a chat. Faarooq does not like the idea of a tournament because he should be handed the title. Sunny can live with it and promises that Faarooq will win the tournament, because what Sunny wants, she gets. There was no need for this to be on pay per view.

We recap Jake Roberts vs. Jerry Lawler. Roberts was trying to reform his drinking and is now a Christian, with Lawler mocking him endlessly and even pouring alcohol down his throat. Therefore, things are personal.

Jerry Lawler vs. Jake Roberts

Newcomer Mark Henry is on commentary and Lawler brings out a bag of his own, ala the one Roberts tends to bring. Lawler reveals a Baltimore Ravens jersey and pennant (the Cleveland Browns left for Baltimore and became the Ravens, which did not sit well with Cleveland fans). He talks about throwing out the first pitch at the Indians game and the team’s manager begging him to sign a contract.

The Ravens’ owners are here too so don’t ask them for an autograph! Lawler goes for the bag and pulls out Roberts’ partners: Jim Beam! He mocks Roberts’ wife and calls out Henry’s lack of Olympic medals. Not that it matters as he would just get his gold medal bronzed. Henry just sits and takes this, as he doesn’t quite get the thinking yet.

Lawler keeps going with his routine until Roberts finally comes out to cut him off. Hold on though as Lawler offers what he has in his bag in exchange for Roberts NOT taking out what he has in his own bag. Lawler offers a huge bottle of booze, which is enough to bring out the big yellow snake to wrap around Lawler and get us going. Lawler heads to the floor and wants the microphone again but Roberts pulls him back inside to start up the beating.

A slam on the floor plants Lawler again and Roberts mocks him over the booze. Back in and Lawler gets in a cheap shot, allowing him to tie Roberts in the ropes. It’s time to get one of the bottles, but Roberts gets out and hits the short arm clothesline. The referee yells at Roberts though and Lawler hits him in the throat with a bottle, allowing him to pull the tights for the pin at 4:09.

Rating: D. Ignoring the fairly off putting subject matter, the match was hardly anything worth seeing either. The ending felt like the same thing as the opener, as again it was hard to believe that the referee didn’t see it. On top of that you had Henry, who had no business being on commentary with that lack of talking ability. How was that not noticed before the match? Just have him come out and do something after if you want to showcase him, but don’t focus on his weaknesses like that.

Post match Roberts points at his throat so Lawler pours Jim Beam down his throat (rumored to have been real whiskey as a rib). Mark Henry makes the save after an all time nothing performance on commentary.

Bob Backlund is in the crowd doing….Bob Backlund things (he’s a weird guy).

We recap Undertaker vs. Mankind. Undertaker was used to facing monsters but the more you beat on Mankind, the more he came back, making him a weird opponent. They’re still fighting though and this time it’s going to be a brawl in the boiler room, also known as a Boiler Room Brawl.

Undertaker vs. Mankind

Boiler Room Brawl, meaning they start in the boiler room and the winner is the first to get to the ring and retrieve the urn from Paul Bearer. Undertaker slowly walks into the boiler room and even he looks a bit nervous. This leads to some slow walking around, as Undertaker isn’t sure where he is, giving us almost a slasher movie feel.

Mankind finally sneaks up on him with what looks like a board for a bit shot to the back. A trashcan lid (or something that looks like one) to the head gets Mankind off of him and Undertaker sends him into a metal locker. Mankind is back up to send him throat first into a saw horse and they brawl around a bit more. We get some “technical difficulties”, which is likely code for “an edit” as this half was taped in advance.

Undertaker is sent into a machine but comes back with a pipe to knock a trashcan out of Mankind’s hands. Mankind turns a valve to spray Undertaker with hot steam and they stagger around some more. Undertaker grabs a wooden pallet but Undertaker hits him low with a pipe to cut him off again. A ram into a steel wall drops Undertaker again, allowing Mankind to punch him in the face.

With Undertaker down, Mankind climbs a ladder and drops an elbow onto Undertaker and concrete because he’s kind of insane. Mankind starts going for the door but Undertaker pulls him down and we get more technical difficulties. We come back with Undertaker down on the floor and Mankind climbing a ladder. Undertaker sits up and grabs the ladder, sending Mankind crashing down onto a box (which almost went VERY wrong and could have ended his career).

They fight up towards the door and slug it out until Undertaker blasts him with a fire extinguisher. Undertaker gets out the door but gets pulled back in, with Mankind getting out and slamming the door on him. Mankind manages to get away and close a door, stacking a bunch of stuff in front of it. That’s fine with Undertaker, who breaks the door down and follows Mankind down a hall (where other wrestlers are cheering them on, with even Steve Austin getting a look).

Mankind throws coffee on him and then crawls through the entrance to come into the arena for the first time. Undertaker follows him and they make it to ringside, where WWE has brought in TV’s on carts like we’re in English class in the 90s. I mean we were in the 90s here but not so much with the English class thing. Anyway, Mankind hits a Texas piledriver on the exposed concrete.

That’s not enough to stop Undertaker of course and he pulls Mankind back down and goes inside….but Bearer won’t give him the urn. Instead Mankind comes back in and puts on the Mandible Claw as Bearer starts shining the urn. Bearer slaps and stomps at Undertaker (JR is INCENSED), who tries to crawl over to him. A huge urn shot to the head (CRACK) knocks Undertaker silly and Mankind gets the urn to win at 26:45.

Rating: B. Well it was different and rather violent, which is all you can ask for out something like this. I can definitely get the appeal of this kind of match between two people with their history, but it was so different than anything else that either company was doing. The brawl itself was good, but this was all about Bearer turning on Undertaker, as that was one of the biggest partnerships of the 90s. It was a new world for Undertaker, and that is something he had been needing for a long, long time.

Post match Mankind and Bearer leave so the druids come out and carry Undertaker away. Do they just follow Undertaker around in case he gets beaten up?

Jim Cornette says Vader has proven he can beat Shawn Michaels and tonight, Michaels is going to grabbed by the throat, making him sound like an electric kazoo in a Peter Frampton song. If you need a bizarre reference, go to Cornette.

WWF Title: Vader vs. Shawn Michaels

Michaels, with Jose Lothario, is defending and Jim Cornette is here with Vader. Michaels tries to move around to start so Vader hits him in the ribs and drops him with a hard clothesline. A big boot is blocked though and Michaels sweeps the leg, setting up a basement dropkick. Some kicks to the face rock Vader and Michaels low bridges him out to the floor. A baseball slide drops Vader again and Michaels hits a big dive, giving us an image which went on a lot of highlight reels.

Back in and a top rope ax handle sets up a hurricanrana to put Vader down again. Something like a victory roll sends Vader outside again but the slingshot hurricanrana is countered with a nasty powerbomb onto the floor. Vader throws him back inside for a hard suplex as Michaels is in a lot of trouble. The slow beating continues and a rather big backdrop stays on the back.

The beating is so intense that it has Perfect changing his mind about returning to the ring. Vader drops him again with a hard clothesline before grabbing a head and arm choke. That’s broken up so Vader tries to sit on him, only to be cut off with a low blow. Michaels knocks him down and goes up but has to pull out of the top rope elbow as Vader didn’t move as planned. This sends Michaels into an infamous rant about how Vader screwed up, because Michaels in 1996 would have that kind of tantrum on live television.

Back up and Michaels crossbodies him out to the floor, where Vader gorilla presses him onto the barricade. That’s enough for a countout at 13:53, but Cornette says no way, because Michaels isn’t getting out of it that easy.

Michaels seems to agree so Vader goes after him, with Lothario getting between them. That lets Cornette get in a tennis racket shot and they get back inside, where a belly to belly gives Vader two. Michaels manages the flying forearm though and tries the superkick but Cornette grabs his foot. Cornette throws the tennis racket inside so Michaels takes it away and unloads on Vader (with some great sound effects for the DQ at 17:50.

Hold on though as Cornette says Michaels got disqualified on purpose so let’s keep this going and have a real winner. We keep it going with Michaels grabbing a sunset flip but having to avoid a sitdown splash. Now the top rope elbow can connect and the superkick gives Michaels two. The referee gets bumped so Vader’s powerbomb only gets a delayed two. The Vader Bomb is loaded up but Cornette wants the moonsault. That’s enough for Michaels to hit a moonsault press for the win at 22:19.

Rating: B. I liked the story they were telling here with the idea that Vader was overwhelming Michaels but kept giving him chance after chance to escape. That’s the idea of Michaels just finding a way to escape and eventually survive Vader when he went too far. That being said, the tantrum in the middle is just dumb and makes Michaels look pathetic, which he did so often by himself. Otherwise, good main event.

Also of note, this was originally going to be Vader winning the title and ultimately losing it back to Michaels at the Royal Rumble, but Michaels didn’t want to work with Vader so Sid got the spot instead (hence the December In Your House being called “It’s Time” when Vader had nothing to do with the main event.).

Overall Rating: C+. The two main events carry the show as far as it is going to go. The rest of the show ranges from forgettable to bad, which sums up so much of this time for the WWF. They had some talent around, but it was going to take time before the new generation could take the ball. Granted getting Bret Hart back in a few months would help, but this was not a good time for the company, save for the top of the card. You could certainly see that in this show and not in a good way whatsoever.

Ratings Comparison

Steve Austin vs. Yokozuna

Original: N/A
2013 Redo: N/A
2025 Redo: N/A

Owen Hart vs. Savio Vega

Original: B+
2013 Redo: C
2015 Redo: C+

Smoking Gunns vs. Bodydonnas vs. New Rockers vs. Godwinns

Original: B-
2013 Redo: D-
2025 Redo: D+

British Bulldog vs. Sycho Sid

Original: D
2013 Redo: D+
2025 Redo: C

Marc Mero vs. Goldust

Original: C+
2013 Redo: D
2025 Redo: C+

Jerry Lawler vs. Jake Roberts

Original: C-
2013 Redo: D
2025 Redo: D

Mankind vs. Undertaker

Original: A-
2013 Redo: B
2025 Redo: B

Vader vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: A-
2013 Redo: B+
2025 Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: A
2013 Redo: C
2025 Redo: C+

The other two reviews are a bit all over the place, but that original is as rose colored glasses nostalgia as you can get. My goodness that’s nuts.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania XXII
Date: April 2, 2006
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 17,159
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross
America The Beautiful: Michelle Williams

It’s time to go back to an arena, which is quite the change of pace after doing these things in stadiums for so long. Things are in a bit of a weird place for the company as John Cena is still establishing himself as the guy and is defending against HHH. The other story is Eddie Guerrero coming back to life, putting on a mask and trying to win the Smackdown World Title under the name of Rey Mysterio. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Battle Royal

Eugene, Viscera, Snitsky, Goldust, Lance Cade, Rob Conway, Tyson Tomko, Trevor Murdoch, Matt Striker, Super Crazy, Funaki, Steven Richards, Simon Dean, Joey Mercury, Johnny Nitro, Psicosis, Animal, William Regal

Here’s the “get everyone on the show match” and they’re in Raw/Smackdown shirts because it’s an interpromotional battle royal, despite it being every man for themselves. Dean tries to run his mouth before the match and is immediately tossed out. Conway shows disloyalty by taking off his Raw shirt and is quickly tossed out. Funaki is out as the ring is starting to clear out a bit. Cade gets eliminated and Richards follows him out, with Crazy, Goldust and Regal all being tossed as well.

MNM gives Eugene a Snapshot and gets rid of him before the remaining stars draw a big line and go show vs. show. Psicosis and Murdoch are both out and we’re down to six. Viscera crushes Morrison and Nitro in the corner while Tomko and Snitsky beat up Animal in another corner.

The big splash misses for Viscera but he’s fine enough to hit a DDT on Mercury. We get a double Visagra (Tazz: “Not the Brokeback spot!” Cole: “Melts in your mouth, not in your hand!”) and Nitro and Mercury are both out. Snitsky gets rid of Tomko and we’re down to three. Viscera dumps Animal (that’s a choice) and then fires Snitsky out for the win at 9:04.

Rating: C-. I’m not sure why you wouldn’t have Animal win this as it means nothing and could have given the fans a nice moment to start the show off. Viscera winning is fine, but that’s the whole point of the whole match: anyone would have been fine, but Animal winning would have made the fans happy. There’s nothing wrong with having a bunch of midcarders thrown into a match like this, but the result felt like they missed the layup.

Post match Viscera gyrates at Lilian Garcia and kisses her (they used to be a thing), leaving her looking rather annoyed.

Michelle Williams of Destiny’s Child sings America The Beautiful.

The opening video, set to Shinedown’s I Dare You, looks at various Wrestlemania moments over the years. This includes looking at various stars from back in the day and what they are doing now for a nice touch. Then we get into the traditional looks at the bigger matches on the card.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Carlito/Chris Masters vs. Big Show/Kane

Show and Kane are defending, with Kane’s entrance seeing the buildings in the set lighting on fire for a really cool touch. Masters knocks Kane down to start but walks into a dropkick for his efforts. Show comes in for the overly loud chops but Masters rakes his eyes, allowing the tag off to a reluctant Carlito. The fans are pleased to see Carlito, who is crotched on the top rope in quite the landing. With Masters knocked to the floor, Show throws Carlito onto him for the big crash.

Not to be outdone, Kane hits the top rope clothesline onto both of them. Back in and Carlito dropkicks Show’s knee out, sending Show into an exposed buckle. A flapjack gets two on Show but he suplexes both of them and brings Kane back in to clean house. The top rope clothesline is countered into the Masterlock but Show breaks it up rather quickly. Carlito’s Backstabber hits Kane but Masters accidentally knocks Carlito silly. Kane kicks Masters in the face and chokeslams Carlito to retain at 6:42.

Rating: C. I’m not sure why this needed to be on the Wrestlemania card as it was a decent Raw match at best. Kane and Big Show were absolute monsters and it was hard to fathom that they would be in any real danger of losing the titles. Carlito and Masters weren’t exactly top level challengers either, but they would be featured in the midcard for a good while. Kane and Show would lose the titles to the Spirit Squad the next night on Raw.

Post match Carlito and Masters get in an argument and Carlito leaves on his own. Both teams would face off in singles match the next month at Backlash.

Shawn Michaels is ready to end Vince McMahon. He has a history of stealing the show at Wrestlemania but don’t expect a five star match from him tonight. Instead, expect violence and a different kind of Michaels. McMahon better be praying to the God above because Shawn is taking him to h***.

Matt Hardy vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Finlay vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Bobby Lashley vs. Ric Flair

Money In The Bank. Naturally it’s a big brawl to start with Hardy grabbing the first ladder. As usual, said ladder is kicked into him, in this case by Van Dam, who hits a slingshot dive onto the ladder onto Hardy as well. Not to be outdone, Benjamin hits a big step up flip dive off the ladder onto a pile at ringside. Flair goes up the ladder but Hardy suplexes him down for the big crash and all that screaming.

That’s enough for the referee to throw up an X and Flair is helped to the back. With five left for the moment, Van Dam hits Rolling Thunder onto Benjamin onto the ladder, leaving both of them down. Lashley goes up but gets cut down as the fans are behind Van Dam. Finlay throws a ladder at Hardy to cut him off and loads up said ladder, only to have Flair come back and take him down.

Flair goes up but gets shillelaghed back down, leaving Lashley to Dominator Benjamin. Lashley tries the climb but gets dropkicked down by Van Dam, who drives a chair into his back for the save. Instead of climbing, Hardy drops a leg off the ladder onto Lashley before Side Effecting Finlay off the ladder.

Since Finlay is already having a bad day, Van Dam climbs the ladder for a splash onto Finlay for the big crash. Van Dam goes up but Benjamin springboards onto the ladder (geez) for a slugout. Hardy climbs another ladder so Benjamin steps over to join them, only for Van Dam to kick said ladder over. That’s enough for Van Dam to get the briefcase at 12:15.

Rating: B-. I wasn’t feeling this one nearly as much as some of the ladder matches, as this was pretty quick without much in the way of memorable stuff. Flair was pulled out and was then back in about two minutes, meaning there was only so much drama. No one really stood out here, save for Benjamin’s springboard onto the ladder. It wasn’t bad, but it didn’t stand out or pull me in, as they hadn’t really started going nuts with this thing yet.

New Hall Of Famer Gene Okerlund is glad to keep celebrating but Randy Orton comes in to say he’s winning the Smackdown World Title tonight. The injured Batista comes in to say he’s waiting on the winner. He’ll be World Champion by Wrestlemania XXIII. True actually.

We get the Hall Of Fame Class Of 2006 (minus Bret Hart, who was uncomfortable being here):

Gene Okerlund (not much of a reaction actually)
Sensational Sherri (VERY happy to be here)
Tony Atlas (thankfully minus foot jokes)
Verne Gagne (I’d think he’s worthy)
William Refrigerator Perry (dude, get a suit)
The Blackjacks (with some snappy hats)
Eddie Guerrero (there’s your big pop)

A bunch of the other inductees come over to hug Vickie Guerrero in a nice moment.

United States Title: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Chris Benoit

JBL, with Jillian Hall, is challenging and the stage rises up so his limo can come in. Benoit slugs away to start so JBL cuts him off with a headlock. The Crossface attempt doesn’t work, even with Benoit firing off a bunch of headbutts. Back up and some chops drop JBL again but the Sharpshooter doesn’t work either. Instead JBL rolls outside and hides behind Hall, which is enough for JBL to take over back inside.

Benoit avoids a charge in the corner though and the rolling German suplexes have JBL down again. The Swan Dive is broken up and JBL mocks the Eddie Guerrero dance, as you might have expected. A superplex brings Benoit back down for the big crash and a rather delayed cover gets two. JBL gets in Two Amigos before booting Benoit in the face, setting up the chinlock. Benoit suplexes his way to freedom and hits his own Three Amigos. Now the Swan Dive can connect and the Crossface goes on, only for JBL to stack him up and grab the ropes for the pin and the title at 9:46.

Rating: B-. They were going with the idea of the power vs. the technical stuff here, though JBL was trying to get technical as well to surprise Benoit. That worked out well enough, though it was far from some instant classic. JBL needed a win like this after losing for so many months after dropping the title to Cena last year.

We recap Edge vs. Mick Foley. Edge was annoyed over losing the WWE Title so quickly and got a rematch, only for Foley, as the guest referee, to cost him the title. The beating and challenge were on, with Edge taunting Foley for not having the defining Wrestlemania moment (because headlining the show just doesn’t count). Foley was up for a hardcore match and Edge accepted, albeit with a Conchairto, in an attempt to draw out the old Foley, which is never a good idea.

Joey Styles joins commentary in JR’s face because he knows hardcore. Eh fair enough.

Mick Foley vs. Edge

Lita is here with Edge and anything goes, with falls counting anywhere. Foley comes to the ring with his (gray for some reason) flannel shirt buttoned up, which just seems rather ominous. Edge wastes no time in swinging a baseball bat at but Foley knocks it away and hits a faceplant. The Tree Of Woe elbow hits Edge but he’s right back up with a boot to the face. Lita starts throwing in the weapons, with a cookie sheet to the head rocking Foley again.

The spear hits Foley….but Edge is hurt. Foley gets up and opens his shirt to reveal barbed wire wrapped around his stomach (and the signature red flannel shirt), which makes the first few minutes all the more insane. Edge’s arm is cut open as Foley cuts the wire off and whips Edge’s back. Edge gets tied in the ropes and nothing good can come from this. Foley busts out the barbed wire baseball bat but Lita makes the save by jumping on his back.

That’s fine with Foley, who hits a Cactus Clothesline to take all of them to the floor. The running knee is countered with a toss into the steps though, followed by a more standard whip into said steps. It’s table time (of course), with Lawler saying you never know what’s underneath a WWE ring. Eh you kind of do, as it’s the same in almost every match. One heck of a head slam onto the ramp gives Edge two and they go back inside, where Edge covers Foley with lighter fluid (oh dear). Lawler: “What is Edge going to do here? Like Mick Foley on fire?” Styles: “YOU THINK???”

Foley gets in a quick piledriver to avoid the whole burning alive thing but Lita cuts off the Conchairto. Edge gets in a shot of his own but the near fall just makes him madder. Some barbed wire bat shots have Foley down, including one to the face to bust him open (you knew that was coming). A bulldog onto the bat gets two so now it’s time for thumbtacks. Naturally Edge gets dropped onto said tacks and it’s time for Mr. Socko, complete with some bonus barbed wire.

Lita gets the Mandible Claw as well and her mouth is busted for a great visual. The barbed wire bat hits Edge (who still has tacks in his back). A bat to the face busts Edge open and Lawler thinks it can’t get much worse. Then Foley gets the lighter fluid and Lawler is proven wrong. The table at ringside is covered in the fluid but Lita gets in a bat shot to Foley. The table is lit on fire and Edge spears Foley through the ropes and through the table for the pin at 14:38.

Rating: A. This is pretty much the only thing that is remembered from this show and that shouldn’t be a huge surprise. This was two people absolutely destroying each other, with Foley turning back the clock for another instant classic to boost someone else up the ranks. It was in the same vein as the 2000 Royal Rumble and Backlash 2004, which is some of the best work of Foley’s career. Excellent stuff here as it felt like a war, with Edge being taken to another level.

Edge and Lita leave, with Edge looking like he’s in shock. Foley gets a standing ovation on the way out, which is well deserved. Of note: Foley’s wife called him after the match…to check on Edge. Of course.

Sharmell begs Booker T. to not make her face the Boogeyman and asks why freaks follow Booker around. They then run into Paul Burchill, Ted DiBiase, Eugene, Snitsky, Fabulous Moolah, Mae Young (getting her feet kissed) and Goldust, naturally dressed as Oprah. Goldust says Booker needs to accept his inner freak to beat the Boogeyman and suggests where Booker put the worms. Booker panics and leaves.

Some fans won a sweepstakes from Snickers for good seats.

Celebrities are here.

Booker T./Sharmell vs. Boogeyman

Booker has the terrified Sharmell start in a funny bit. Thankfully Booker does jump Boogeyman from behind and hammers away in the corner. A kick to the face gives Booker two as the red smoke is making the arena look horrible. The Bookend gets two but Booker misses the ax kick and gets forearmed down (they didn’t seem to be on the same page there). The worms come out and Boogeyman has a snack so Sharmell comes in with Boogeyman’s staff. That earns her a wormy kiss so Sharmell runs off screaming, leaving Boogeyman to chokebomb Booker for the pin at 3:56.

Rating: D-. What do you want me to say here? This was a bad comedy match and nothing more than a way to give the fans a breather after the crazy hardcore match. Booker was injured coming in, but if this is the best they can do, just scrap the match.  Boogeyman is the kind of character who is there for little more than goofiness and having him beat Booker is a step too far. Nothing to this one, save for ruining the mat.

Post match, more worms are consumed.

We recap Mickie James challenging Trish Stratus for the Women’s Title. James debuted and was completely obsessed with Stratus, even kissing her under the mistletoe at Christmas. Stratus said it was too much and asked for time apart, which made James even more nuts, to the point where she kicked Stratus in the head and asked if Stratus loved her now. Then she kidnapped Stratus’ boyfriend and laid Stratus out at the same time. This was a heck of a story as the women’s division was dying for some fresh blood and James was all that and more.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Mickie James

James is challenging and Lawler thinks she’s nuts. JR: “You’d date her. But wait she might be too old for you. She’s in her early 20s.” Lawler: “Can she cook?” They waste no time in trading the forearms before Stratus Thesz presses her down and hammers away. The big chops in the corner have James down and Stratus drops her down into the splits. They head outside and the Chick Kick only hits the post to give James a needed opening.

The bad leg is wrapped around the post and James is rather pleased. A dropkick to the leg keeps Stratus down as the fans are behind James, which has commentary confused. The half crab stays on the leg but James pulls the hair, which is enough to make her break it up (you don’t see that one too often). Stratus slugs away (the fans don’t approve) and hits a spinebuster as JR tries to explain that Stratus hasn’t done anything to deserve the booing.

James gets a boot up in the corner but has to block the Stratusphere, allowing her to send Stratus crashing down. A half crab is countered into a small package to give Stratus two and a powerbomb out of the corner gets the same. The Matrish only kind of works due to the leg so Stratus loads up Stratusfaction, which is broken up with a hand between the legs (James licking her hand is edited out). James kicks her in the head (the botched Stratusfaction to Stratus is edited out as well) and wins the title at 8:49. JR: “The nutjob has won the title!”

Rating: B. The bad botch and probably going too far lick of the hand being cut out didn’t hurt things, as this was still miles ahead of just about anything you would see in the women’s division. It wasn’t so much that the match was great, but rather that it was a match that came with a story rather than just random title defenses. James was such a breath of fresh air for the division and it’s no surprise that she was a star for so long.

The McMahons are way too pleased with Vince McMahon’s arms. Vince laughs at the idea of Shawn Michaels telling him to pray, but says it’s time for their first family prayer. Vince makes it clear that he and God don’t like each other because Vince has defied every law God has ever had. He’s been successful anyway and brags about his physique (Stephanie gives him a look) before promising to send Michaels down to the fiery depths.

We recap Mark Henry vs. Undertaker. Henry cost Undertaker the World Title and injured him, meaning it’s time for revenge.

Undertaker vs. Mark Henry

It’s a casket match and Henry is Undertaker’s latest monster foe who isn’t afraid of the dark. Cole goes over the Undertaker’s Wrestlemania victims and it’s kind of amazing to think of how many more big names he would take out over the years. Henry jumps him at the end of the entrance (to be fair, Undertaker was taking his sweet time) but Undertaker gets a boot up in the corner.

Some running clotheslines don’t put Henry down but he drops Undertaker with a single shot. They go outside, where Undertaker sends him into the steps for a breather. Henry rams him in even harder though and they head back inside, where Old School is broken up. The casket is opened up but Undertaker isn’t about to go in (good advice). Back up and Undertaker kicks away at the arm, setting up Old School.

A Downward Spiral is blocked though and they fight down into the casket. Henry hammers him down but Undertaker grabs him by the throat to get up. Back in and the World’s Strongest Slam connects but the powers of I’m Facing The Undertaker stupidity take over, with Henry going up to hammer away. The Last Ride brings Henry back down and Undertaker throws him outside for the big dive. Back in and the Tombstone connects, which is enough to finish Henry off at 9:27.

Rating: C. It was an ok fight but Henry might as well have been dubbed “The Designated Victim” here as it never felt like Undertaker was in any danger. They had to do something with Undertaker but there was no drama here as Undertaker beating Henry was never in doubt. It’s not a terrible or even bad match, but this was definitely on the lower end of the Streak matches.

We recap Shawn Michaels vs. Vince McMahon. Late last year, McMahon decided it was all about him (for a change of pace) and fired a bunch of people. Then he brought up the Montreal Screwjob, which made Michaels tell McMahon to grow up already. Therefore, it was time to destroy Michaels for good, setting up a showdown.

Shawn Michaels vs. Vince McMahon

No holds barred. Michaels starts fast and jumps McMahon on the floor. McMahon is sent over the announcers’ table and onto JR, allowing Michaels to choke away. Michaels busts a framed photo of McMahon’s Muscle & Fitness magazine cover over McMahon’s head (you knew that was coming) so here is the Spirit Squad (you knew they were coming) to jump Michaels for a breather.

The big beatdown is on but Michaels fights back with their megaphone to clear them out without much trouble. That’s enough of a distraction for McMahon to hit a clothesline though and we slow back down. McMahon hits some shoulders to the ribs in the corner, followed by some whips with a belt. Delusions of grandeur make McMahon try his own superkick, which is easily blocked. Now Michaels gets to whip away with the belt and drops the top rope elbow.

Sweet Chin Music is loaded up but here is Shane McMahon to hit Michaels with a kendo stick as this keeps going. The beating lets Vince take down his pants but Michaels fights back and shoves Shane’s face in, with Vince of course thinking it’s great. Shane is knocked to the floor and handcuffed to the ropes in a smart move. The key is thrown into the crowd and Michaels beats on Shane with the kendo stick.

Back in and Michaels caves Vince’s head in with a chair (there’s some blood) but Michaels won’t throw the superkick. Instead it’s time for a ladder, which bounces off of Vince’s head to draw even more blood. Michaels still won’t throw the superkick though as Vince collapses. Instead Michaels grabs a table and some trashcans. After putting the trashcan on Vince and Vince on the table, Michaels climbs the big ladder and drops a big elbow. Michaels picks him up, says watch this, and finally (and I do mean FINALLY) hits the superkick for the win at 18:24.

Rating: D+. This was WAY too long, with the match being pretty much over about halfway through the thing. So much of the match was spent with Vince mostly destroyed and Michaels just finding more weapons. They could have done this in far less time as it felt more like someone blowing off steam in a video game for most of the match.

Vince flips Michaels off because that is his nature.

We recap Kurt Angle defending the Smackdown World Title against Rey Mysterio and Randy Orton. Mysterio won the Royal Rumble in Eddie Guerrero’s memory, last eliminating Orton. That didn’t sit well with Orton, who talked Mysterio into putting up his title shot, only for Mysterio to lose. Mysterio was kept in the match anyway, as this is all about Eddie’s memory. Oh yeah and Angle is there too. That’s how third wheel he felt here, and there wasn’t much that could be done to change it as this is all about Eddie/Rey. This gets Shinedown’s I Dare You, which helps a lot.

Smackdown World Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Randy Orton vs. Kurt Angle

Angle is defending and Mysterio gets played to the ring live by POD. Orton decks Angle with the belt before the bell before dropkicking Mysterio out of the air for two. Back in and Angle snaps off the German suplexes on Orton before suplexing both of them at once (with Mysterio FLYING).

Orton is back up with his backbreaker to Angle, who shrugs it off and hits a belly to belly. A pop up super hurricanrana brings Orton down for two and Mysterio kicks Angle in the head for the same. Mysterio sends Angle into the ropes but the 619 is cut off. The ankle lock goes on but Orton cuts off the referee, who doesn’t see Mysterio tap. With that broken up, Angle snaps off more suplexes and ankle locks Orton for a change. This time Mysterio grabs the referee so Orton’s tap is missed too. Well they’re certainly making Angle look strong, which makes sense as he’s in Wrestling Machine mode here.

Back up and Mysterio is sent into the post but Orton grabs the RKO on Angle for a delayed two. Orton goes up and is promptly belly to belly superplexed right back down in one of Angle’s better signature spots. Mysterio can’t quite hit a 619 around the post but settles for a kick to the head (eh fair enough) for two on Angle. Orton drops Mysterio again but gets Angle Slammed for two. Mysterio counters the Angle Slam with an armdrag and hits the 619 to Orton. The West Coast Pop pins Orton to make Mysterio champion at 9:18.

Rating: B-. It was mostly action packed, but I could have gone with a good bit more time to pack that action into here. Mysterio winning the title was a feel good moment, despite not being the biggest surprise, as the fans would have lost if it Eddie didn’t get his big tribute. It’s a good match, but dang they felt rushed out there and that’s not good to see. And then Mysterio would go on to have an all time disaster of a title reign, mainly because he was put in there against giant who kept crushing him, because reasons.

Post match Chavo and Vickie Guerrero come out to celebrate with Mysterio in a nice moment.

We look at John Cena and HHH in the locker room for a long time. Cena looks at the title while HHH gets a massage. JR gives a rather detailed explanation about how Cena is a rebel and this is a traditionalist town so HHH will likely get cheered no matter what.

Candice Michelle vs. Torrie Wilson

Playboy Pillow Fight, which is an excuse for the two of them to be in limited clothing. There is a bed and a bunch of pillows with the Playboy logo everywhere because that’s the whole point. Wilson brings her dog (he’s wearing a top hat) and they starts the brawl as the fans aren’t exactly thrilled. A suplex drops Michelle and a backdrop puts her onto the bed.

The dog is brought in as they fight out to the floor, only to come back in so Michelle can lose her gown. Michelle kicks her away and does the Go Daddy dance before dropping a middle rope elbow onto Wilson (on the bed). With nothing else working, Michelle grabs a pair of scissors to cut off Wilson’s dress. An issue of Playboy is rubbed into Wilson’s face, which inspires her to grab a rollup for the pin at 3:55.

Rating: F. Yeah what else were you expecting? This was about the women being out there and showing off how they looked. It wasn’t good and it went FAR longer than it needed to, with the fans letting them know what they thought. I get the appeal, but I’m also rather glad that we’ve moved WAY beyond this kind of stuff.

We look at the Wrestlemania press conference, which is pretty much the hype video for Cena vs. HHH. Cena is the rebel champion and HHH is the old school guy who wants the title back. This is the big dream match for Raw but it only feels so important.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. HHH

HHH is challenging and does the Conan the Barbarian entrance, rising up from the stage on his throne with the ridiculously big sledgehammer. Cena’s entrance on the other hand features a newsreel about the Great Depression and a bunch of machine gun toting goons hanging on an old gangster car, one of whom is infamously better known as CM Punk. Cena has his own gun and gets to fire, which at least drowns out some of the rather loud booing.

We get going, with JR immediately explaining that Cena is going to be booed no matter what. HHH wins an early wrestle off and grabs a hammerlock before kicking Cena away. An early FU attempt (the fans are NOT happy) is broken up and HHH punches him in the face, earning a standing ovation. Cena is sent outside but comes back in to hammer away in the corner for his first real offense. Some whips into the corner set up the release fisherman’s suplex and Cena grabs the chinlock. They go to the floor, where Cena backdrops him onto the ramp for a loud crash.

Back up and HHH sends Cena into the steps to take right back over. Cena fights back but a facebuster and hard clothesline get some of the loudest reactions HHH has ever received. Some neckbreakers give HHH some twos and the chinlock goes on to keep Cena down. Cena eventually fights up and hits that hard clothesline that he uses when he needs a big spot. The clothesline comeback sets up a powerslam and Cena initiates the finishing sequence.

That’s countered into a spinebuster to give HHH two but the sleeper is quickly broken up. The STFU goes on but HHH dives over to the ropes for the break. The FU is broken up as well and HHH hits Cena, and the referee, low in the corner. HHH brings in the sledgehammer and knocks Cena lukewarm for a pretty delayed two (the fans are ticked off again). Cena backdrops out of the Pedigree and gets two off the FU, leaving Cena stunned. Cena’s high crossbody misses but he pulls HHH into the STFU for two arm drops. HHH hangs on….and then taps out completely clean to retain the title at 22:02.

Rating: B. It took some time to get going but what matters the most is that Cena got a clean win over the other big name in the middle of the ring in the main event of Wrestlemania. That’s what HHH needed to do here and Cena gets one of the biggest boosts of his career. It also happens to be a very rather good title match and pretty worthy of the main event of Wrestlemania.

The big highlight package wraps up the show.

Overall Rating: B-. Yeah it’s fine. That’s always been the reaction to this show and that’s still the case here. There are definitely good parts, with the main event, most of the Women’s Title match and Edge vs. Foley being worth a look, but the problem is, outside of Edge vs. Foley, nothing is really memorable. It came and went with very little changing, as even Mysterio winning the title felt rushed. The show is absolutely not bad, but it’s forgettable, and that’s not what Wrestlemania is supposed to be.

Ratings Comparison

Pre-Show Battle Royal
Original: N/A
2013 Redo: N/A
2015 Redo: N/A
2020 Redo: D
2025 Redo: C-

Big Show/Kane vs. Carlito/Chris Masters

Original: D+
2013 Redo: C
2015 Redo: D+
2020 Redo: C-
2025 Redo: C

Rob Van Dam vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Ric Flair vs. Finlay vs. Matt Hardy vs. Bobby Lashley

Original: B
2013 Redo: B
2015 Redo: B
2020 Redo: B
2025 Redo: B-

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Chris Benoit

Original: D+
2013 Redo: C+
2015 Redo: D+
2020 Redo: C+
2025 Redo: B-

Edge vs. Mick Foley

Original: A
2013 Redo: A
2015 Redo: A
2020 Redo: A
2025 Redo: A

Boogeyman vs. Booker T/Sharmell

Original: F
2013 Redo: F
2015 Redo: F
2020 Redo: F
2025 Redo: D-

Mickie James vs. Trish Stratus

Original: B
2013 Redo: B-
2015 Redo: B-
2020 Redo: B-
2025 Redo: B

Undertaker vs. Mark Henry

Original: D
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: D-
2020 Redo: D
2025 Redo: C

Shawn Michaels vs. Vince McMahon

Original: C+
2013 Redo: C+
2015 Redo: D
2020 Redo: C+
2025 Redo: D+

Rey Mysterio vs. Kurt Angle vs. Randy Orton

Original: D+
2013 Redo: C-
2015 Redo: C+
2020 Redo: C+
2025 Redo: B-

Torrie Wilson vs. Candice Michelle

Original: F
2013 Redo: F
2015 Redo: F
2020 Redo: D-
2025 Redo: F

HHH vs. John Cena

Original: A-
2013 Redo: B-
2015 Redo: C
2020 Redo: A-
2025 Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: B
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: C-
2020 Redo: B-
2025 Redo: B-

As usual, it’s the same issues, with so much of this show just being forgettable.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Wrestlemania XII
Date: March 31, 1996
Location: Arrowhead Pond, Anaheim, California
Attendance: 18,853
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Vince McMahon

It’s interesting to see Wrestlemania as a one match show and that is basically the case here. While there are other things on the card, such as Diesel vs. Undertaker, which should be a heck of a fight, this is ALL about Bret Hart vs. Shawn Michaels in a one hour Iron Man match. What else could you need? Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at the Iron Man match and nothing more. At least they’re not hiding what they’re doing here.

Commentary at least acknowledges some of the other matches.

Vader/Owen Hart/British Bulldog vs. Jake Roberts/Ahmed Johnson/Yokozuna

If the latter team wins, Yokozuna gets five minutes with Jim Cornette, which is by far the biggest story here, with the other four just kind of there. Vader and Yokozuna slug it out to start and the other four come in, with the good guys cleaning house. Vader gets knocked to the floor and Yokozuna helps launch Johnson over the top and onto him for a huge crash. Back in and Yokozuna wins another slugout with Vader but drives him into the wrong corner.

Hart tags himself in and dropkicks Yokozuna for some reason, earning a hard elbow to the face. Bulldog pulls Yokozuna out of the way of a charge though and the villains take turns stomping away. Vader just unloads on Yokozuna to knock him down in the corner, only to walk into what would become the Rock Bottom. It’s off to Johnson, who is quickly knocked down in the corner as the villains are right back in control.

Hart kicks him down and then hits the jumping kick to the shoulder, only to get planted down rather hard. Cue Mr. Fuji to wave the American flag as Johnson makes the tag off to Roberts. The snap jabs have Hart in trouble but he gets a knee up in the corner to cut off the charge. Bulldog’s front facelock doesn’t last long as Roberts gets up but Vader is back in to pummel away (in a preview of their Boy Meets World showdown). Hart’s good looking top rope elbow gets two and Vader crushes him for the same.

Bulldog comes back in but misses a legdrop, allowing Yokozuna to come in. The huge right hands have Vader down in the corner and a splash crushes him as well, with Vader waving Hart in as he collapses. Yokozuna’s Samoan drop puts Bulldog down and it’s back to Roberts but Bulldog saves Hart from the DDT. Everything breaks down and the DDT hits Hart, which draws in Cornette with the racket. Roberts cuts him off but Vader runs in for the save (with Roberts looking over his shoulder until Vader comes in) and the Vader Bomb finishes at 13:09.

Rating: C+. This was all about Yokozuna vs. Vader, with the other two just happening to be there. That didn’t make for the best match as Yokozuna could only do so much, though those big right hands looked devastating. It’s also beyond weird to set up the “five minutes with the manager” deal and then not have it but Vader looked like enough of a monster to make up for it…I guess.

We recap Goldust vs. Roddy Piper, which is all about Goldust being obsessed/possibly in lust with Piper, who wants to “make a man” out of Goldust. To say this is uncomfortable in a lot of ways is an understatement.

Marlena, with champagne on ice, is in the back.

Goldust vs. Roddy Piper

This is the Hollywood Back Lot Brawl, meaning they’re fighting in a lot outside. Goldust comes up in his gold Cadillac so Piper sprays it with a fire hose and beats on the car with a baseball bat. Goldust is sent into a catering table and smashed with a garbage can (complete with garbage for once), followed by a ram into a dumpster.

Piper rams him into various things and hits some VERY stiff sounding shots to the face, only to get hit low. Goldust jumps back in the Cadillac and hits a Piper shaped stunt man, who hangs onto the hood and crashes onto the ground. With Goldust gone, Piper jumps into a white Bronco (which Goldust hit on his way out) and the chase is on. It was certainly intense, but the Bronco aspect isn’t a good sign.

Steve Austin vs. Savio Vega

Austin is still Million Dollar Champion and has Ted DiBiase with him, but he is Stone Cold. After a fired up Vega says he’s ready for anything, they slug it out to start and brawl on the mat. That’s not enough so they go outside, with Vega firing off some chops to take over. Back in and Austin drops some elbows before cranking away on the arms. Vega gets back up and kicks Austin in the face as Roddy Piper calls in to rant about chasing Goldust.

Austin goes back to the arm and sends it into the post but a reverse chinlock is quickly broken up. The armbar goes on again as Piper calls in again to promise to beat up Goldust again. Vega is back with a crossbody but Austin Thesz presses him for two (that’s so weird to see) and they go into a pinfall reversal sequence for two each. We go split screen to some footage of the OJ Simpson car chase, which is apparent Piper going after Goldust.

As for the Wrestlemania match going on at the moment, Vega kicks him in the face and hits a crossbody but Austin knocks him down again. Austin goes to the top (HUH?) but dives into a raised boot to leave them both down. Vega clotheslines away and tries a spinwheel kick, which hits the referee by mistake. DiBiase throws in the belt and Austin tries a Million Dollar Dream, only to get kicked in the face. DiBiase offers another distraction though and there’s a pair of belt shots to the head. Vega is out as Austin puts on the Million Dollar Dream for the win at 10:20.

Rating: C+. The match was fine, but the focus was on Piper’s car chase because that’s the “interesting” part. I get that it’s a bigger angle, but this is the kind of thing that belongs on Raw, not Wrestlemania. Austin was still figuring his stuff out here, as he was nothing compared to what he would wind up being, which was a rather necessary change.

Post match Austin won’t let go of the hold until a referee talks him out of it. As he and DiBiase leave, we get another shot of the OJ Simpson driving footage, which Vince says looks familiar. I’m already sick of this and the winking at the joke isn’t helping.

Diesel says he doesn’t sweat the big things or the little things either. He’s coming for Shawn Michaels next.

More car footage, with Lawler now saying it feels like deja vu.

Ultimate Warrior vs. Hunter Hearst Helmsley

Here’s an infamous one. Helmsley has a certain blonde with him, with commentary being rather impressed. Apparently her name is Sable. Lawler’s story of Warrior being 400lbs and bald is proven wrong as Warrior looks mostly like his old self. Helmsley jumps him to start fast and hits the Pedigree in less than forty seconds, with Warrior popping up. Warrior Warriors up, hits some clotheslines, and finishes with the gorilla press and splash at 1:39. And Helmsley has yet to live it down for the rest of his career.

We meet the debuting Wildman Mark Mero, who is ready to face the best around here. Helmsley comes in and bumps into Mero before yelling at Sable. Helmsley shoves Mero and the brawl is on to give Mero his first feud.

Piper and Goldust are still driving.

Diesel vs. Undertaker

Paul Bearer is here with Undertaker and they’re fighting after both of them cost the other the WWF Title. Also of note: you can see the clock for the Iron Man match over the Titantron during Undertaker’s entrance, which is quite the gaffe for a promotion that usually does well with production. They slug it out to start with Diesel knocking him into the corner for some elbows to the face.

Undertaker knocks him back down but misses the big elbow. Instead they go outside and Diesel is sent face first into the steps before they go back back inside. It’s way too early for the Tombstone so Undertaker actually goes aerial with a crossbody. The big running clothesline misses though and Undertaker rolls to the apron, where he’s fine enough to snap off a Stunner.

Back in and Undertaker punches him out to the floor, where a big chair shot only hits the post. Diesel is back with a ram into the post, which he does again because it’s Wrestlemania. A running knee cuts off Undertaker from getting back inside so Diesel tosses him back in, which seems a bit contradictory. Back in and a big boot puts Undertaker down again, followed by the side slam for two.

Snake Eyes sets up the running crotch attack in the ropes and Diesel if looking rather cocky. Undertaker tries to fight back and they hit stereo big boots to put them both down again. Diesel is fine enough to grab a bearhug, which stays on until Undertaker manages a belly to back suplex. Undertaker’s top rope rope clothesline gets two but Diesel gets in a shot to the back.

A quick Jackknife connects (as audio messes up, with quite the feedback) but Diesel spends too much time trash talking, allowing Undertaker to sit up. Another Jackknife connects, with Diesel mocking Bearer this time. That earns Diesel a grab around the throat so he punches Undertaker back down. Undertaker gets up again and grabs him by the throat, only to get suplexed. That doesn’t work either, as Undertaker gets up, hits a chokeslam and Tombstones Diesel for the win at 16:46.

Rating: B-. This was a different kind of Wrestlemania match for Undertaker, as he was finally facing someone who was giving him a realistic threat (give me a break on Giant Gonzalez being someone who could beat him). Diesel was not that far removed from around a year long reign as WWF Champion and was still the top heel in the company. They had a good enough power match, with Undertaker surviving Diesel’s best stuff and winning in the end, which is quite the boost to the Streak.

The zoom out shot of Diesel out cold on the Wrestlemania logo is still awesome.

Rhodes and Piper return, with Piper’s Bronco hitting Goldust’s Cadillac on the way in. Goldust tries to escape, with Marlena consoling him, but Piper chases them off (with the camera catching Diesel just chilling) and they come into the arena. They get inside with Goldust getting in a cheap shot and rubbing his (own) chest. Goldust picks him up for a rub of the back of Piper’s jeans, which has Piper fighting back until a low blow cuts him down again.

Piper gets his shirt torn off and Goldust uses it to choke, but the threat of a kiss has Piper fighting back. Goldust goes up and gets crotched, but manages to kiss Piper anyway. That’s too far for Piper, who goes off on Goldust and rips his gear off, revealing Goldust’s bizarre lingerie. Piper hits him low and Goldust runs, covering his chest on the way out. This was every bit of the stupid mess you would expect, though the fans seemed to love Piper, as usual.

We recap Bret Hart defending the WWF Title against Shawn Michaels in the one hour Iron Man match. They’ve followed similar paths to get here and Michaels apparently has a boyhood dream of being the WWF Champion (ignore that he wouldn’t have been watching the WWF as a boy who didn’t grow up in the northeast). Hart is basically billed as the perfect wrestler while Michaels is just talented enough to give him a threat. They’re going for an hour, most falls win.

Gorilla Monsoon is officially the President of the WW, which was kind of a perfect spot for him at this point.

WWF Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Bret Hart

Hart is defending in a one hour Iron Man match. Michaels’ manager Jose Lothario comes out with no Michaels, but he points to the rafters. That gives us one of the most iconic entrances of all time, as Michaels ziplines down from the top of the arena and lands in the crowd before coming to the ring. Yeah it still works. Hart comes out as well and we get a long explanation of the rules to really make this feel more important.

Hart goes for an early takedown but Michaels wrestles him right back down and they stand off again. A headlock works a big better for Hart and it’s time to start burning some clock. Michaels fights up and gets taken back down as we’re over six minutes in. Michaels is back up with some armdrags into an armbar, with Hart’s escape just landing him in a hammerlock. Back up and a headscissors out of the corner sends Hart outside at about the ten minute mark for the first big spot.

Hart gets back in and sends Michaels over the ropes for some cat skinning, earning Michaels a knee to the ribs. The chinlock goes on again but Michaels is back up, only to pull him into a Fujiwara armbar. Hart fights up again and takes Michaels down, followed by a clothesline to the floor. Michaels whips him into the timekeeper’s area and tries the superkick, which kills the timekeeper dead at the fifteen minute mark.

Back in and Hart grabs a chinlock as commentary tries to get some help for the out cold timekeeper. After a few minutes, Michaels gets up and armdrags him down, only to get clotheslined into another chinlock. This one doesn’t last as long as Michaels is up with a dropkick into another armbar. Michaels pulls him down to cut off a comeback as this is just the two of them laying around in holds to burn time.

Back up and Hart gets taken down with a shoulderbreaker, followed by some whips into the corner. Hart fights up with some right hands but gets dropped with a DDT on the arm. Michaels cranks on the arm some more but gets catapulted into the post for a rather delayed two. Well at least they did something different. Michaels fights back but Hart goes up for a driving knee to the back of the head. Back up and Hart grabs a piledriver for two (Lawler: “How’d he kick out of a piledriver???”) as we’re over halfway done.

Michaels gets up for a hurricanrana and hammers away but it’s too early for the superkick. A backbreaker gives Michaels two and Hart has to bail to the floor before the superkick can launch. That means Michaels gets in a great looking dive to put them both down on the floor. Back in and Hart rolls through a high crossbody for two but Michaels rolls him up for the same.

Michaels grabs a sleeper and Lawler asks the logical question of what happens if Hart goes out: does he get counted out over and over or can you get a bunch of consecutive covers? Naturally McMahon has no idea, even though it’s a rather valid question. Hart flips out but gets elbowed and kicked in the face to knock him back down. Michaels charges into a backdrop over the top and wipes out a cameraman for one heck of a great shot.

For some reason Hart brings him back inside (Lawler can’t believe the stupidity) and starts in on the back, including a middle rope elbow. A Banzai Drop to the back lets Hart whip him into the corner, with Michaels flipping up into position for a belly to back superplex. We’re off to the reverse chinlock for a bit until Michaels reverses into a rollup for two. Hart stays calm and goes to the back again before knocking Michaels out of the air.

Back up and Michaels is thrown over the top, where he lands on Lothario, little to Hart’s chagrin. Hart takes him back inside for a belly to belly suplex and another near fall. The O’Connor roll gives Michaels two and the kickout sends him outside. That means Hart can hit a suicide dive, followed by a German suplex for two back inside. Hart slowly hammers away and we’re back to the reverse chinlock with ten minutes left. The hold eats up over two minutes until Michaels fights out for a double clothesline.

Michaels goes up so Hart superplexes him down for the big crash and they’re both down with six minutes left. A half crab sends Michaels to the rope so Hart gives him another backbreaker. Hart goes up and dives into some raised boots so they can breathe again. Michaels sends him hard into the corner and comes back with the forearm into the nipup, leaving Lawler stunned at the comeback. A spinning top rope ax handle gives Michaels two as we have three minutes to go.

The top rope elbow gives Michaels two and a nice gutwrench powerbomb gets the same with two minutes to go. Michaels’ top rope moonsault press gets another near fall as the fans are getting into this again. The middle rope hurricanrana gives Michaels two and he goes up again, only to dive into the Sharpshooter with thirty four seconds to go. Michaels screams a lot but manages to hang on as time expires at 1:00:00.

Hold on though as Monsoon says we’re not done, because THERE MUST BE A WINNER. Hart is not happy at all, which is fair as he survived the hour at a tie, which should go to the champion. Either way we’re going to sudden death overtime. The ticked off Hart hammers away on the back and hits a backdrop as it’s time to blow off some steam. Michaels gets sent into the corner and jumps over Hart, finally hitting the superkick (the first time as a fan that I actually jumped out of my chair watching wrestling). Hart gets up first but Michaels is right there for another superkick for the pin and the title at 1:01:50.

Michaels – 1
Hart – 0

Rating: C. There are very few matches in WWE history as debated as this one and I can see why. On one hand, it’s impressive that they went a whole hour and Michaels did get the big win, with the last few minutes and overtime being rather good. The problem here boils down to everything else, as it just wasn’t that interesting. Rather than having a good match that lasted an entire hour, it felt like they were trying to do whatever they could to get through an hour.

That made for a lot of laying around in holds, which might have made sense but it didn’t make for an entertaining match. This would have been far better as a one fall match that happened to go for about forty five minutes, as it adds more drama and doesn’t spend so much time burning clock. It’s far from some kind of a disaster, but it’s not that interesting and there are LONG stretches that didn’t keep me interested whatsoever.

Post match Hart is livid as Michaels is awarded the title and glares at him on the way up the aisle. Michaels gets all emotional and then celebrates a lot to end the show.

We get the long highlight package to wrap it up, set to the still outstanding Pump It Up Wrestlemania theme.

Overall Rating: C. This show was the definition of a one match card, with Undertaker vs. Diesel being a very distant second. The Michaels stuff (from the entrance to the win) is very memorable, but it needed something else to make the whole thing work. It’s far from a bad Wrestlemania, but it’s not remembered very fondly. I get the different lines of thinking on the main event, though it wasn’t enough to carry the show. Not awful, but definitely in the bottom half of Wrestlemanias.

Ratings Comparison

Camp Cornette vs. Yokozuna/Jake Roberts/Ahmed Johnson

Original: D+
2013 Redo: C
2015 Redo: C-
2026 Redo: C+

Steve Austin vs. Savio Vega

Original: B-
2013 Redo: C+
2015 Redo: C
2026 Redo: C+

Ultimate Warrior vs. Hunter Hearst Helmsley

Original: N/A
2013 Redo: N/A
2015 Redo: N/A
2026 Redo: N/A

Undertaker vs. Diesel

Original: B
2013 Redo: B-
2015 Redo: B
2026 Redo: B-

Roddy Piper vs. Goldust

Original: N/A
2013 Redo: N/A
2015 Redo: N/A
2026 Redo: N/A

Shawn Michaels vs. Bret Hart

Original: B
2013 Redo: B
2015 Redo: B
2026 Redo: C

Overall Rating

Original: C-
2013 Redo: C+
2015 Redo: B-
2025 Redo: C

Well that’s a big drop for the Iron Man match and…yeah despite the consistent B’s beforehand, I really do not see it being that high. Maybe I’m just getting cranky over the years.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter and Bluesky @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Royal Rumble Pre-Show Matches
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross, Tazz, Kevin Kelly, Shane McMahon

That’s the kind of collection that speaks for itself and there could be some interesting options in here. Granted most of these are probably going to be seen from various pre-shows over the years, but how many of those are memorable anyway? These things can be quite good so let’s get to it.

From Royal Rumble 2014.

Tag Team Titles: New Age Outlaws vs. Goldust/Cody Rhodes

The Outlaws are challenging and the fact that the countdown clock shows us less than fifteen minutes before the show starts isn’t instilling me with confidence here. Rhodes knocks Dogg into the corner to start and Dogg realizes that’s not going to work. The snap jabs have some more success and Dogg ducks a springboard kick to the head. Dogg is sent outside though and the champs take out both Outlaws with dives as we take a break.

We come back with Dogg snapmaring Goldust into a chinlock, which is escaped just as fast. A Code Red drops Dogg but Gunn is right there to cut Goldust off again. Commentary ignores the match to make jokes about themselves until Goldust snaps off the powerslam. Rhodes comes back in to pick up the pace, including telling Gunn to suck it. A springboard double dropkick puts the Outlaws down and Cross Rhodes gets two on Dogg, with Gunn making the save. Gunn comes in off the blind tag and the Fameasser gives us new champions at 6:59.

Rating: C. While the Outlaws would only hold the titles for about a month, it was really jarring to see the Rhodes brothers lose the titles in such a weak fashion. They had the incredible moment of beating the Shield to win the titles and then we just get…this. There is something to be said about the nostalgia factor here, but it’s not like the Outlaws were ever particularly good in the ring in the first place.

From Royal Rumble 2004.

Victoria vs. Molly Holly

Holly’s Women’s Title isn’t on the line. They go technical to start with Victoria taking her down into a quickly broken hammerlock. A headlock takeover puts Holly down again and Victoria grinds away. That’s reversed into a headscissors and they fight over a backslide. A snapmare lets Holly hit a baseball slide as Lawler talks about hormones. Holly’s handspring elbow in the corner gets two and she cranks on Victoria’s neck. That’s broken up with a jawbreaker and Victoria fires back with forearms. The standing moonsault gives Victoria two and they go up top, where Victoria pulls her down into the Widow’s Peak to win at 4:58.

Rating: B-. It didn’t get much time but this wound up being a pretty nice match. It’s unfortunate that the women’s division from this era doesn’t have the best reputation as they were capable of doing more. This worked well as a way to warm up the crowd and the Widow’s Peak looked great. I’d call this a heck of a nice surprise.

From Royal Rumble 2006.

Finlay vs. Brian Kendrick

This could be interesting. Finlay backs him into the corner to start but Kendrick actually comes back out with a shove. That doesn’t please Finlay, who knocks him out to the floor, with Kendrick favoring his arm. Kendrick gets tied up in the ring skirt but fights back again, this time with some forearms. That’s enough for Finlay, who grabs the Celtic Cross for the fast pin at 2:07. Ok so it wasn’t interesting.

From Royal Rumble 2001.

Kaientai vs. Lo Down

The winning team gets to pick a member to enter the Royal Rumble. Chaz jumps Funaki to start and gives him a slam but Funaki hits a quick dropkick. Michinoku comes in and walks into a spinebuster as Lawler teases entering the Rumble as a surprise. Some more dropkicks get Michinoku out of trouble and it’s back to Funaki to clean house. That doesn’t last long though as a double powerbomb gives Chaz the pin at 1:50. And then their spot went to Drew Carey anyway, which is a far better idea anyway.

From Royal Rumble 2005.

Maven vs. Rhyno

Maven is a cocky heel here and we don’t have commentary as this is an actual dark match rather than something from Heat. Maven works on the arm to start and shouts a lot as he cranks away even more. The fans get behind Rhyno, who is rather displeased with Maven slapping him in the face….and apparently this IS from Heat and just joined in progress. Well that’s….really not overly noteworthy.

Maven sends him into the throat and hammers away, followed by an elbow for some near falls. Some choking in the corner gets two, even with the feet on the ropes, and Rhyno’s neck gets bent around the ropes. A neckbreaker gets two and we’re off to the chinlock. Rhyno fights up because, you know, it’s Maven, and hits a northern lights suplex. Maven knocks him right back down as JR apologizes for some technical difficulties.

The chinlock goes on again to keep things slow as this is going a good bit too long. Rhyno fights up for the clothesline comeback and a belly to belly drops Maven again. The threat of the Gore sends Maven bailing to the floor but they switch places. Rhyno tries a sunset flip of all things but Maven grabs the ropes for the pin at 7:01.

Rating: D+. Yeah there’s a reason Maven is not overly well remembered for his time in the ring and this was a good illustration of why. He oddly worked better as a heel as he’s easy to dislike, but there is nothing in the ring to build off of that. This was a nothing match and it felt way longer than just seven minutes, which isn’t a good sign.

And we’re out in a hurry, with the next match starting about a second after the pinfall. Come on man, Maven wasn’t THAT bad.

From Royal Rumble 2015.

Tyson Kidd/Cesaro vs. New Day

Adam Rose, Natalya and Xavier Woods are here too. This is a weird case as it’s actually HEEL New Day as they’ve only been around in their best known form for about two months. The fans do seem to like singing along with Woods though. Big E. and Kidd start things off as the fans are rather enthusiastic about Cesaro. Commentary hypes up the WWE Network and I can’t help but shed a bit of a tear over its memory.

Some early backbreakers have Kidd down for two as commentary talks about the Rumble, which is a bit more acceptable here. Kingston comes in with a dropkick to Kidd and it’s off to Cesaro, with the fans rather approving. Big E. comes back in for the running shoulders in the corner, allowing Kingston to get the blind tag for a middle rope crossbody. Lawler isn’t sure where New Day will wind up as they seem to be evolving, which is the biggest understatement he could imagine.

A cheap shot from Cesaro drops Kingston and it’s back to Kidd, with the Swing into the dropkick getting two. We take a break and come back with Kingston fighting out of Cesaro’s chinlock. Kidd kicks him right back down for two but it’s back to Big E. to fire off the belly to belly suplexes. A not so great Rock Bottom out of the corner gives Big E. two and Kidd is catapulted over the top.

Big E. sends Kingston flying out to the floor, which gets commentary to stop talking about the WWE Network (thank goodness as I can’t cry over it anymore). The spear through the ropes stops Cesaro but he escapes the Big Ending back inside. Kingston comes in but the referee says there was no tag, so we do indeed get a tag, with Kingston not looking pleased (in a rare sight).

Cesaro uppercuts the heck out of Kingston and a superplex into Kidd’s top rope elbow gets two. The Sharpshooter attempt is kicked away so Kidd tries a sunset flip but Cesaro gets caught cheating. Kingston’s rollup gets two more but Kidd is back with the Sharpshooter. That’s broken up with a belly to belly so Cesaro drops Big E. again. Cesaro isn’t done as it’s an uppercut to Kingston, setting up Kidd’s fisherman’s neckbreaker for the pin at 11:06.

Rating: B. Kidd and Cesaro were one heck of a team and it’s a shame they didn’t get to do this a lot longer. They worked so well together and were a great example of power/speed meshing. On the other hand though you have New Day, who were starting to get popular as you couldn’t get around that kind of talent for so long. It helps that they were rather good in the ring in their own right, which was starting to come out. Rather good match here and easily a PPV worthy match.

From Royal Rumble 1999.

JOB Squad vs. Too Much

Too Much (Cool) jump them to start but Scorpio flips out of a double backdrop attempt. A powerbomb puts Taylor down but Christopher breaks up the moonsault. Christopher accidentally sends Taylor crashing outside, leaving Scorpio to kick Christopher in the face. Holly comes in and fights off some double teaming, followed by a clothesline to Taylor. Scorpio’s spinning top rope splash hits Taylor as well but he holds Scorpio for Christopher’s missile dropkick. Everything breaks down and Holly grabs a Falcon Arrow to pin Taylor at 3:53.

Rating: C-. Yeah what were you expecting here? One of the teams was the heel version of Too Cool, without the charisma that made them stars, and the other team was literally built around the idea of being losers. They weren’t going to be able to do anything overly impressive, but that was the point. In other words, it was a fine idea for a warmup match but this was about as good as it was getting.

From Royal Rumble 2003.

Spike Dudley vs. Stevie Richards

Jacqueline is referee and shouts a lot as Spike jumps Richards to start. Richards’ friend Victoria grabs Spike’s leg though and a neckbreaker puts him down. A seated full nelson (always liked that one) has Spike in more trouble but he fights up rather quickly. Richards catches him on top but gets knocked down, setting up a top rope double stomp for two. Jacqueline isn’t going to have Richards stomping in the corner but Victoria’s interference doesn’t work. Instead, Spike uses Victoria to set up a Dudley Dog for the pin at 3:35.

Rating: C+. Spike is someone who doesn’t get the credit that he deserved, as he was able to take one heck of a beating and keep going while getting people behind him. At the same time, Richards was a fine villain who was better than people remember. As was the case with a lot of these matches, they did what they could in the time they had, but there wasn’t a ton of time in the first place.

Overall Rating: B-. I had fun with this, as they did a nice job of throwing together some matches that you probably haven’t seen in a good while. Pre-show matches got a lot better in latter years as they were basically pay per view matches airing earlier. You mix that with some simple stuff like Spike vs. Richards and it gives you a nice idea of how things have gone over the years. This was short and to the point, which is kind of the idea with the concept in the first place. As usual, nice job.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter and Bluesky @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Superstars
Date: January 26, 1997
Location: Cajun Dome, Lafayette, Louisiana
Attendance: 6,075
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jim Cornette

This is a random show that popped up on the WWE Vault but it seems to be football themed. In this case we have the Superstar Bowl, which is apparently an elimination tag match. That should make for an interesting show, with the bonus of the Royal Rumble taking place a week earlier. Let’s get to it.

We open with a look back at Shawn Michaels regaining the WWF Title at the Royal Rumble.

Opening sequence.

Commentary runs down the card.

Godwinns vs. Nation Of Domination vs. Doug Furnas/Philip LaFon vs. Owen Hart/British Bulldog

This is the Superstars Bowl (meaning an elimination tag), Bulldog and Hart’s Tag Team Titles aren’t on the line, and Sunny is guest timekeeper. LaFon and Bulldog start things off with LaFon pulling him down into a kneebar, sending Bulldog straight to the rope. Bulldog pulls him out of the air but can’t gets the powerslam.

Furnas comes in to take Hart down but Hart is right back to crank on the leg. A slap brings in LaFon, which means Hart and Bulldog can stomp on Furnas as good heels should. Phineas tags himself in to suplex Hart onto LaFon but Crush breaks up the Slop Drop. A dropkick sends Phineas into a rollup to give LaFon the elimination at 3:53.

We take a break and come back with Bulldog clotheslining Faarooq so Furnas can get a quick two. A missed charge lets Furnas armdrag Crush and let’s go split screen so Hunter Hearst Helmsley (with his butler Curtis, better known as Mr. Hughes) can talk about his match tonight with Ahmed Johnson. They shouldn’t be in the same ring together, but there are proper showers and soap here so it can happen before their title match at In Your House.

Back in the ring, Furnas hurricanranas Hart down but gets his head kicked off with an enziguri for two. Bulldog comes in and throws Furnas into the corner, where Crush comes in to hammer Furnas down. A backbreaker drops Furnas and it’s back to Bulldog for the delayed vertical suplex. Bulldog picks him up again but Faarooq sneaks in with a chop block to give Furnas the fluke pin at 12:22. We cut to Honky Tonk Man trying to recruit Rocky Maivia and we take another break.

We come back with Furnas fighting out of a chinlock and go split screen so Ahmed Johnson can call the Intercontinental Title the “people’s title”. Cornette thanks Johnson for taking time away from his job as a UN interpreter (ha) and come back to Faarooq being punched out of the air (Cornette knew that was a bad idea). LaFon comes in to clean house until Crush belly to back suplexes him out of the corner. Furnas takes Crush out to the floor but Faarooq grabs the Dominator to pin LaFon at 19:06.

Rating: C+. It was perfectly acceptable, but the tag division was hardly in a good place at this point. Bulldog and Hart were good, but Furnas and LaFon just never connected. While they were definitely talented in the ring, they weren’t the kind of team who was going to become a big deal. There wasn’t really anything unique about the match either, though I can go with having something special for a big day.

We look at the controversial ending to the Royal Rumble (with Steve Austin slipping back in and winning), setting up the outstanding Final Four match at In Your House.

On Raw, Bret Hart went on a great rant against Vince McMahon about Steve Austin. Believe it or not, he doesn’t like Shawn Michaels either and since he can’t get an opportunity, he quits.

Later in the night, Austin says Hart hasn’t quit complaining since he got back. He should just go back to Canada because the only man he can beat is his wrinkled old man.

Also later in the night, Gorilla Monsoon set up the four way at Final Four. This brought out Austin to complain about the whole thing and threatened Monsoon as well. Hart returned and brawled with Austin, as was his custom.

The four in the match brawled to end the show.

Here is Hart in person for a chat. He doesn’t want to be remembered as a loser or a quitter but he hates Steve Austin. He’s looking forward to Final Four though because he can beat all three guys at once. This place is kind of like King Of The Hill and he’s almost got his hands on the prize at the top, but there are three people stomping on his fingers. They won’t stop him though, because he will be the WWF Champion for the fourth time. This was Hart trying to say “yeah I’m still my old self, forget that whining on Monday.”.

We look at Savio Vega turning on Ahmed Johnson and joining the Nation Of Domination. Naturally he wasn’t here earlier because of the taping schedule but that’s not something we talk about.

Ahmed Johnson vs. Hunter Hearst Helmsley

Non-title and Curtis is here with Helmsley. Johnson shoves him down with ease to start and then hits a running shoulder. This allows us to do little more than have Johnson stand in one place, which is a good idea. Johnson clotheslines him down and hits a kick to the ribs, followed by an ax kick (with the far leg for some reason). Helmsley knocks him to the floor and we take a break as Goldust and Marlena are watching in the back.

We come back with Helmsley dropping a knee for two as frustration is setting in. Johnson manages a suplex and wins a slugout, which has Helmsley making a hand signal. That’s enough for Curtis to come in with a belt shot but Johnson sends Helmsley outside on the kickout. The spinebuster looks to set up the Pearl River Plunge but Curtis runs in for the DQ at 13:38.

Rating: C-. I was a huge Ahmed Johnson fan back in the day but my goodness that man was a special kind of terrible. He would make the most basic stuff look awkward and was usually at his best when he wasn’t doing much. That’s not exactly a great sign, and the ending didn’t make me want to see these two fight for the title again. It’s no wonder why Johnson got such a huge push, but it’s also no surprise that it really didn’t work for him in the end.

Post match Johnson Hulks Up to take out Curtis as Goldust runs in to brawl with Helmsley to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. It was a nice look back at a time of transition in the WWF, but that doesn’t mean it was a particularly good show. The Superstars Bowl was a bit of a treat but the long Raw recap and the not exactly noteworthy main event didn’t help. I do like seeing a random episode from this time as it’s such a flashback and different from just putting up Raw, though a better show would be nice.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter and Bluesky @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Royal Rumble 2014
Date: January 26, 2014
Location: Consol Energy Center, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 15,715
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

This is one of the Rumble I wanted to look at this year as it is one o the most influential of all time while also being one of the most infamous. There are some other matches on the card, but this is all about the Rumble itself, or at least someone who isn’t taking part this year. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Tag Team Titles: New Age Outlaws vs. Goldust/Cody Rhodes

Rhodes and Goldust are defending in a match that is almost bizarre to see today. Cody takes Dogg down to start as commentary immediately ignores the match to hype up the Royal Rumble. Gunn comes in and gets clotheslined outside, setting up a dive from Cody as we take a break.

Back with the referee checking on Goldust as JBL notes that this is NOT a classic match but rather fresh content. I’m not sure that sounds as good as he thinks. Goldust fights out of the corner and hits a sunset bomb as commentary says Gunn never ages. A clothesline takes Gunn down and it’s Cody coming in to clean house. Cody scores with a springboard double missile dropkick (JBL: “Great move by Dusty’s other son!”) and Cross Rhodes gets two, with Gunn making the save. Gunn comes in off a blind tag and hits a Fameasser for the pin and the titles at 6:31

Rating: C. This was nothing of note from an in-ring perspective but they did something big here by having the titles change hands. The Outlaws winning again is a a big surprise and while it’s little more than nostalgia, it still felt kind of cool. Then again, it’s a shame to see the brothers lose, as they certainly had some potential to be a bigger deal down the line. Not much of a match, but the moment made up for it.

The opening video looks at how this night means everything, with the Royal Rumble being about becoming the one. Tonight, the Road To Wrestlemania begins.

Daniel Bryan vs. Bray Wyatt

Bryan is the hottest thing in the world right now but recently joined/turned on the Wyatt Family. That wasn’t cool with Bray (who has Erick Rowan and Luke Harper with him) so let’s have some revenge. Luke Harper and Erick Rowan are here with Wyatt. The bell rings and Wyatt yells about Bryan trying to make a fool out of him. The fans aren’t quite in sync with their YES/DANIEL BRYAN chants as Bryan hammers away to start.

Wyatt runs him over with an elbow to the face as they’re going physical early. Bryan goes for the leg but the other Wyatts offer a distraction to break it up. That earns Harper a big dive so Rowan goes over but the referees eject the Wyatts first. Wyatt tells them that he doesn’t need them to fight this war…which lets Bryan dive onto Wyatt for the big crash. Wyatt dumps him outside but a charge hits the steps to bang up the leg even more.

Back in and Bryan ties up the leg for a stomp as we’re in Vicious Bryan mode here. They fight to the apron where Wyatt twists him down by the arm as commentary talks about how bizarre Wyatt really is. Back in and we hit the chinlock, followed another toss to send Bryan right back out to the floor.

Wyatt puts the head against the post and slugs away, with commentary pointing out Bryan’s recent concussion worries. The backsplash crushes Bryan, with Wyatt asking why the fans didn’t help Bryan. Back in and the chinlock goes on again, with looking bored yet eerie at the same time. Wyatt busts out the spider walk, leaving commentary cracking up about the Exorcist as they completely miss the point of a spot like that. The chinlock goes on again but Wyatt misses an elbow.

Bryan fires off the kicks and sends a charging Wyatt face first into the middle buckle. The super hurricanrana gives Bryan two and he moonsaults over Wyatt, who cuts him off hard with the running body block. Bryan manages to knock him back to the floor and there’s a heck of a diving tornado DDT. A running dropkick against the barricade sets up the YES Kicks back inside as Wyatt is in trouble.

Some running dropkicks in the corner connect but Wyatt has to go for one more, allowing Bray to hit one of the biggest clotheslines I’ve seen in a long time. The YES Lock goes but Wyatt is too close to the ropes. Instead Bryan kicks him out to to the floor, where Wyatt pulls the suicide dive out of the air. Sister Abigail to the barricade and another in the ring finish Bryan off at 21:34.

Rating: A-. These guys beat the fire out of each other and it was a heck of a match as a result. What matters is Wyatt getting the win, which was quite the rarity of him at this point. Bryan lost clean with the Family being sent out early, which gives Wyatt one of the biggest wins of his career. This was about two guys having a fight because they can’t stand each other and it made for a great one.

Paul Heyman wants Brock Lesnar to challenge the winner of Randy Orton vs. John Cena for the World Title, but Big Show is standing in his way. Not that it matters of course though, because Lesnar is going to conquer.

We go to the Kickoff Show panel (Ric Flair, Jim Duggan and Shawn Michaels), with Shawn saying Bray Wyatt and Daniel Bryan are the future of WWE. Shawn is putting his chips on Bryan in any match and when it turns, it’s turning big time. Flair on the other hand will pick Brock Lesnar over Roman Reigns any day. Duggan is just kind of there.

Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar

They got in a fight a few weeks ago and Show tossed Lesnar around, setting this up. Then they did it a few more times to really prove the point. Lesnar jumps him before the bell and takes Show down, followed by a bunch of chair shots. As Lawler seems to remember Show giving Lesnar his first defeat at the 2002 Royal Rumble (about two and a half months before Lesnar debuted), Lesnar kicks Show down again and gets in another loud chair shot. Lesnar finally fires the chair up the aisle…so Heyman hands him another one.

Show gets up so we ring the bell, with Show managing a KO Punch to send Lesnar outside. Some more shots knock Lesnar around at ringside before they get back inside, where Show drops him with a shot to the ribs. The KO Punch misses though and Lesnar muscles him up (almost dropping him but roaring until he gets it) for the F5 and the pin at 2:02. This was more of an angle than a match but screaming Lesnar is a terrifying human being.

Post match Lesnar unloads on Show with the chair for a rather good while. The chair actually breaks so Heyman tosses in another to keep up the beating.

Shield is ready to win the Royal Rumble but they won’t tell each other their numbers.

Randy Orton is ready to beat John Cena one more time and send him to the back of the line. Renee Young brings up the list of people who want the title but Orton shrugs all of it off.

We recap John Cena vs. Randy Orton. They unified the two World Titles last month at TLC with Orton taking them both, mainly due to a variety of weapons. Now Cena gets a clean rematch, so Orton attacked Cena’s dad to make it personal, because THESE TWO need a reason to fight.

WWE World Title: John Cena vs. Randy Orton

Cena is challenging and takes him down into a quickly broken headscissors. Orton grabs a headlock into a suplex, followed by some headbutts to keep Cena down. Another headlock is reversed into a Liontamer attempt of all things but Orton kicks him outside without much trouble. The chinlock goes on again and we hit the BORING chant about five minutes in. They go outside with Orton sending him into the barricade, followed by some posing back inside.

Orton takes too long posing though and it’s an electric chair off the top to cut him down. Cena initiates the finishing sequence but the AA is countered. Instead Cena grabs a nice neckbreaker and the top rope Fameasser, but the AA is countered again. This time Orton takes him outside for the hanging DDT onto the floor, which of course doesn’t finish a thing (as it’s just a DDT onto the floor).

Back in and Orton….eventually loads up the RKO but Cena pulls him into the ST. The rope is quickly grabbed so Cena tries the AA again, but this time the referee gets bumped. Cena gets the STF again and this time Orton taps, with no referee around. The delay lets Orton get in a belt shot and the delayed cover gets two. Orton again spends WAY too much time posing, allowing Cena to grab the AA for two more.

A quick RKO gives Orton two of his own as they’re firmly in the trading finishers portion. The fans chant what sounds like WE WANT DIVAS but Orton mixes it up with his own STF. Cena slips out and grabs a crossface, which is reversed into an AA from Orton for two more. As you might guess, Cena’s ensuing RKO gets two so he puts Orton up top. The super AA is blocked so Cena grabs a tornado DDT into the STF. Orton is in trouble….and we’ve got Wyatts. Cena fights them off and that’s enough of a distraction for Orton to grab the RKO for the pin at 20:55.

Rating: B. This feels like a match that is much better if you’re away from the feud. Orton and Cena feuded for so long that it stopped having any kind of interest and the fans were pretty clearly sick of them. I can’t say I blame them either, as Orton vs. Cena was done to death for a very long time. The worst part is they had a good match with the trading finishers being something different from them. The Wyatts’ interference was certainly a surprise, and you can pretty clearly see a Wrestlemania showdown coming from here. Good match though, even if the fans weren’t interested.

Post match the Wyatts wreck Cena again to lave him laying. The Wyatts leave, with a bewildered Cena following.

Mae Young tribute video and you better believe Stephanie McMahon is narrating.

The New Age Outlaws show Renee Young how to do their introduction. They have two words for her: new champs.

Miz is going to win the Royal Rumble because he’ll do whatever it takes.

The Usos are ready to go on to main event Wrestlemania.

Big E. Langston (when he had a last name) is winning because that’s where it’s at.

Fandango says his name rather breathily.

Batista: “Exactly.”

Damien Sandow isn’t going to make mistakes.

Ryback is a human wrecking ball in a match full of superstars.

Rey Mysterio is going to win the Royal Rumble again.

The pre-show panel give their picks:

Jim Duggan: Dolph Ziggler

Shawn Michaels: the Shield or CM Punk

Ric Flair: Batista

Royal Rumble

90 second intervals, CM Punk is in at #1 and Seth Rollins is in at #2. Punk slugs away to start and strikes away but they trade running shots in the corner. They’re both down and it’s Damien Sandow in at #3. Punk fights out of a double team with a DDT/neckbreaker combination but can’t get Rollins out. Cody Rhodes is in at #4 and goes right at it with Sandow (they don’t like each other), including Cross Rhodes. Punk tosses Sandow (who is shocked) and Kane (now corporate) is in at #5.

Rollins grabs Punk’s leg so Kane can get in a cheap shot…but Punk escapes a chokeslam and tosses Kane. Alexander Rusev (still from NXT) is in at #6 and spinwheel kicks Rollins down. Rhodes manages to hang on as Sandow is still sitting at ringside. Rusev can’t get rid of anyone and it’s Jack Swagger (with Zeb Colter, holding an “every 90 seconds, another illegal sneaks across the border” sign) in at #7.

Swagger and Rusev have the big showdown until a bunch of people go after the latter. Kofi Kingston is in at #8 and goes after Punk, who is down on the apron. With no one getting anywhere, Jimmy Uso is in at #9. Uso headbutts and strikes away but can’t toss anyone either. Goldust is in at #10, giving us Punk, Rollins, Rhodes, Rusev, Swagger, Kingston, Uso and Goldust at the one third mark.

A bunch of people get together to toss Rusev, who pulls Kofi back out (not eliminated). Kofi is laid on the barricade….which he walks down and then dives onto the apron to get back in with a heck of a leaping save. With the collective gasp over, Dean Ambrose is in at #11. That doesn’t exactly go anywhere so it’s Dolph Ziggler in at #12 with a missile dropkick to Ambrose. The ring is getting full and R-Truth is in at #13 to make it even worse.

Ambrose wastes no time in getting rid of Truth and Uso is out as well to clear the ring a bit. Kofi is sent to the apron but hangs on by his feet, even pulling off Swagger’s boot in the process. A boot to the head lets Kofi pull himself back in and it’s Kevin Nash (oh dear) in at #14. Nash knocks Swagger out before going after the Shield, who gets even stronger with Roman Reigns in at #15.

The apron dropkick hits Rhodes and a spear takes him down as well. Reigns headbutts Nash in the chest and dumps Kofi, only to get DDTed by Ziggler. That earns Ziggler a spear and he’s out rather quickly. Reigns low bridges Nash out and it’s Great Khali in at #16. The Shield wastes no time in getting rid of Khali, followed by Reigns tossing Rhodes and Goldust back to back. The TripleBomb is loaded up on Punk but the returning Sheamus is in at #17.

The ten forearms to the chest have Ambrose in trouble and the Irish Curse hits Rollins. There’s the Brogue Kick to Reigns as Sheamus is the only one let standing. The numbers have Sheamus in trouble though and it’s Miz in at #18. That doesn’t go anywhere (much like Punk, who is down in the corner holding his head with a referee talking to him) and it’s Fandango in at #19. El Torito is in at #20, giving us Punk, Rollins, Ambrose, Reigns, Sheamus, Miz, Fandango and Torito at the 2/3 mark.

Torito goes after the once again standing Punk, wh grabs him by the head but gets headscissored. A springboard missile dropkick actually eliminates Fandango but Reigns throws Torito out without much trouble. Antonio Cesaro is in at #21 (with Zeb Colter, whose sign says “you could time it yourself but they stole your watch) and starts with the Swinging. Rollins gets the big extended version and it’s Luke Harper in at #22. Rollins survives an elimination attempt and Reigns spears Cesaro. Rollins and Cesaro slug it out until Jey Uso is in at #23.

Everyone brawls near the roles and it’s JBL in at #24, with Cole getting in the cringe worthy line of “the JBL character has never entered the Royal Rumble”. JBL tells Cole to come take his coat and is quickly tossed by Reigns. Erick Rowan is in at #25 as the fans are a bit quiet here. Harper gets rid of Miz and Uso quickly follows suit. We get the big Shield vs. Wyatts showdown as Ryback is in at #26.

The GOLDBERG chants begin as Sheamus and Cesaro trade forearms. JBL: “That wasn’t a move. That was I’M GOING TO THROW MY FIST INTO YOUR FACE!” Alberto del Rio is in at #27 and no one goes anywhere. Batista (there’s the reaction, albeit not the most positive) is in at #28 and gets rid of Rowan, setting up a showdown with Ryback. A charge into the corner goes badly for Ryback, who gets backdropped out.

Del Rio kicks Batista in the face and is eliminated or his efforts. Big E. Langston is in at #29 for a bunch of backbreakers to Sheamus, who manages to hang on. The brawling on the ropes continues until Rey Mysterio is in at #30. That gives us Punk, Rollins, Ambrose, Reigns, Sheamus, Cesaro, Harper, Batista, Langston and Mysterio.

Now this bring us to the important part of the match: Rey Mysterio is not Daniel Bryan. The fans were doing the YES pose before Mysterio came out, and then it just fell apart. You could see fans looking around, wondering why this was anyone but Bryan as it is clear that this is NOT the right spot. Mysterio is an all time legend, but the fans do not want to see him here right now and the DANIEL BRYAN chants are on.

Mysterio and Punk both have to hang on to get back in as the booing continues. Sheamus gets rid of Big E., leaving Harper and Cesaro to strike it out. The 619 hits Rollins and the fans are just openly booing now. Rollins is back up with an enziguri to get rid of Mysterio and for one of the only times ever, the fans are happy to see Mysterio eliminated. The fans are chanting for Bryan as Reigns Superman Punches Harper out….but Ambrose tries to toss Reigns.

That lets Cesaro almost eliminate Rollins and Ambrose but Reigns tosses all three of them at once in a pretty awesome visual. That ties the single match elimination record for Reigns, while leaving us with Reigns, Punk, Sheamus and Batista. Cue Kane to eliminate Punk though and unload on him next to the barricade. The beating is on and Kane chokeslams Punk through the announcers’ table, giving us what would wind up being Punk’s last appearance for almost ten years.

The fans are still chanting for Bryan as the other three pull themselves up. Batista powerslams Reigns and the fans chant NO as they know where this is going. Sheamus gives Batista a Regal Roll but misses the Brogue Kick as Batista falls down, with the ans booing even more. Batista backdrops Sheamus to the apron and Reigns gets the record as we’re one on one. The fans are suddenly WAY behind Reigns but Batista cuts him off with a spear. Batista tosses Reigns for the win at 55:08.

Rating: C+. Where do you start with this one? The match certainly has its moments and there is star power throughout, with Reigns feeling like the biggest monster in the world. While some of those eliminations might have felt a little cheap, Reigns did set the record and it was quite the impressive feat. Other than that, you had the Shield vs. the Wyatts and it was a good enough Rumble.

Except for that one big thing. I have never heard a crowd turn on a match like that and it was a fascinating thing to see. At the end of the day, this was the fans outright rejecting what WWE was presenting them and there is no way around it. The fans wanted Bryan and rejected everything else when they didn’t get him. It also doesn’t help that Batista was slotted into the spot no matter what the people wanted and this was the result. It would only get worse, leading to an all time Wrestlemania. At the time though, it was one of the most tone deaf moments WWE could have had and brought a pretty good Rumble WAY down.

Overall Rating: B-. This is a VERY weird show as the main event outweighs everything else, even though the rest of the show was rather good. The World Title match was better than average and the opener was a smash, with Lesnar wrecking Big Show stuck in the middle. Then there’s the Rumble, which is overshadowed by the last five or ten minutes. It’s a show, and main event, unlike any other and that is why I wanted to see it again.

 

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Shotgun Saturday Night
Date: January 18, 1997
Location: Denim & Diamonds, San Antonio, Texas
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jim Ross

This is the third episode of the show and it’s back when Shotgun was actually VERY different. The original format saw the show airing from a bar (like this one, the night before the Royal Rumble) with some far less family friendly content. This one has a pretty infamous segment and it should be fun to see it again. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence, which does make the show look rather awesome.

We run down the card, featuring the logo saying it’s live from New York City, which is quite the unforced error. Also of note, Vince praises JR’s black hat, which wasn’t quite a regular thing yet.

Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Rocky Maivia

Helmsley’s Intercontinental Title isn’t on the line and he promises to win both of his matches at the Royal Rumble. Oh and he’ll steal Marlena from Goldust too. The fans are VERY pro-Rocky, which was a rare thing at this point. Some armdrags send Helmsley into the corner (of the far smaller than usual ring) to start and some right hands make it worse.

Another armdrag sets up the armbar but Helmsley gets up for some knees to the ribs. That’s fine with Maivia, who armdrags him right back into the armbar. This time it’s broken up with an atomic drop…and here is Jake Roberts with the snake to clear the ring. We take a break and come back with Helmsley holding a chinlock and Roberts on commentary, saying he was just testing both of them.

Maivia fights up and makes the comeback, including a crossbody. Helmsley knocks him down for a quick two and we hit the chinlock again. This one doesn’t last as long and it’s Maivia fighting back with the right hands into the corner. A powerslam drops Helmsley and they both need a breather. Cue Marlena as Maivia strikes away, including a dropkick out to the floor. Helmsley sends him into the barricade but stops to look at Marlena, who says something we can’t hear. Cue Goldust to chase Helmsley for countout at 13:06.

Rating: C+. You could see some chemistry developing between these two but this was a long time before Rocky was the star he would become. At the same time, Helmsley’s feud with Goldust really did not work, with their Royal Rumble match being one of my all time least favorites. This was a fine enough match though, with the still brand new Maivia doing well enough.

Earlier this week on Raw, Sid talked about how he was going to have to become a monster at the Royal Rumble to retain the WWF Title. Shawn Michaels would say the same thing, but Sid promises to grab Michaels by his throat. Michaels’ mother will see the look on his face and Jose Lothario will stay out of it this time because he knows better. The friends and Mexicans (whom Lothario will summon) will know that Sid is the master and ruler of the world. This was in an empty arena and the echoing of Sid’s voice was great.

Bob Backlund is walking through the streets of New York and shouting a lot.

Mini Mankind/Histeria vs. Mascarita Sagrada Jr./Venum

Venum and Histeria (the non-minis) start things off with McMahon mocking JR’s descriptions of their gear. Venum’s springboard headscissors takes Histeria down but he misses a charge. A springboard flip dive drops Histeria outside and it’s off to the minis, with Sagrada sending him outside. That means a big dive to the floor as Steve Austin joins commentary (Vince: “And I don’t know why.”).

Back in and the non-minis take over with Venum being tossed outside as Austin isn’t sure why they’re here. Austin: “These guys in the Royal Rumble?” Sagrada comes back in to take over on Mankind as Austin is just going off on commentary, saying there are going to be 29 pieces of trash in the Royal Rumble and one Superstar.

Sagrada hits a dive to the floor as Austin complains about his chair being too small and offering McMahon an elbow in the face if he keeps insulting him. Venum comes back in and misses a corkscrew moonsault, allowing Histeria to hit a powerbomb for the pin at 5:53 (this is listed as 12 minutes on most online sources I can find, and unless there is some incredible editing, that’s not accurate).

Rating: C+. This is a weird case where the commentary is the focus. Austin was an absolute force out there, with an incredible run of lines. There is no question about why he became such a star, as the intensity he brought was second to no one. The match itself was an interesting enough idea, but as usual, it’s just random wrestlers having a match, which isn’t quite enough.

Super fans George and Adam are at the Alamodome. They’re the only fans there, because apparently the building has no security.

Here is Terry Funk for a chat and Austin isn’t pleased. Vince: “Texas’ own!” That is too far for Austin, because Funk is just from Texas. Funk: “This is my state!” Austin: “Wrong.” Funk: “This is my town.” Austin: “Wrong.” Funk: “I’m in the heart of Texas!” Austin: “Wrong.” Funk is a wristlockin, toe holdin, knee dropping (and other things) son of a son of a gun and tougher than a rattlesnake. He wants to know what number he is, but he wants to start at #1. Maybe he can rumble with Todd Pettingill!

Where are all the cowards from WCW? Where is Vince McMahon? Now he wants Jim Ross, calling him something censored. Or maybe….Steve Austin? You can see the look change in his eyes and Austin gets in the ring to go toe to toe with him and the brawl is on. Unfortunately it doesn’t last long and we go to a break, which is a shame as that was starting to get awesome. Well, more awesome as Funk was incredible here, with Austin being able to hang with him, which was impressive given what he was up against. Outstanding stuff and worth a look, though find the uncensored version, which is even nuttier.

Faarooq vs. Jesse Jammes

The Nation Of Domination is here with Faarooq. Jammes does his singing on the way to the ring but we miss part of it due to a microphone issue. The Nation stands there to start so Jammes jumps one of them, only to get hammered into the corner by Faarooq. A missed charge in the corner lets Jammes get in an armdrag, followed by a headlock. The lefts and rights in the corner don’t do much to Faarooq so Jammes goes with a belly to back for two. Back up and Faarooq hits a spinebuster, followed by the Dominator for the pin at 1:54.

Goldust vs. Steve Austin

HHH is here watching as well, which isn’t a great sign. They stare at each other to start and lock it up into the corner. Austin stomps him down with the exact style you would expect but Goldust is back with an elbow to the face. A low blow cuts Goldust off and it’s time to drive the shoulders in the corner. Goldust comes back with an oddly times hammerlock and we take a break. We come back with Terry Funk coming in to brawl with Austin for the DQ at 5:20. Not enough shown to rate but they weren’t being lazy in the time they had.

Post match the brawl stays on and here are a bunch of people for a big fight, with Austin and Funk fighting into a bar. HHH beats up Goldust with a pool cue and Funk is sent into a beer tub to end the show in wild fashion.

Overall Rating: B-. The wrestling really wasn’t the point here and it still made for a really awesome show. Obviously the Funk/Austin interaction was the one that really stood out here, but the whole aura of the show was so different. After years in the New Generation, this show had some energy and edge. That’s not something that was common back in the day but it worked here. Check out that Funk/Austin bit for sure, as it’s two masters going at it in a great segment.

 

 

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Survivor Series 2015
Date: November 22, 2015
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 14,481
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

Now this is an interesting one as I barely remember anything about it from just a year ago. The big story here is the World Title having to be decided in a tournament as Seth Rollins destroyed his knee and is out for a LONG time. Other than that, the big match is the Undertaker teaming with Kane against the Wyatt Family to celebrate 25 years since his debut with the company. Let’s get to it.

Oh and before we get going: ISIS was allegedly targeting this show for a terrorist attack. Nothing would come of the rumors but it got quite a bit of attention.

Pre-Show: Dudley Boyz/Goldust/Neville/Titus O’Neil vs. Cosmic Wasteland/Miz/Bo Dallas

The Cosmic Wasteland was a short lived mini stable comprised of Stardust and the Ascension. Goldust is a mystery partner, making his return after several months off due to a shoulder injury, to freak Stardust out. The brothers start things off but a right hand means it’s off to Viktor, who is powerslammed and pinned in about thirty seconds. I’d bet on that being an injury.

Titus and Konnor come in for the big power showdown, meaning a bunch of whips and slams which are supposed to mean more because they’re being done by bigger guys. D-Von gets a chant (for some reason) and a tag (because Titus wanted to come out), which means it’s time for What’s Up. The rest of the heels are sent outside for a big flip dive from Neville in a big crash.

Back from a break with Bubba Rock Bottoming Konnor for an elimination to make it 5-3. D-Von comes back in but gets beaten down to give the heels a little breather. A spinebuster drops Miz and that’s enough for the tag off to Neville for the quick kicks to the face. Dallas grabs a Bodog and a Skull Crushing Finale gives Miz the pin on Neville to get us down to 4-3, only to have Goldust roll Miz up to get the fall back.

We come back from a second break with Dallas holding Goldust in a chinlock before it’s off to Stardust for some brotherly stomping. The chinlocks continue and the remaining bad guys charge at the three remaining on the apron in a rare good shot for the villains. Goldust shows he’s really back with a Code Red of all things, allowing the tag off to Titus. The Clash of the Titus gets rid of Bo and a 3D finishes Stardust at 18:10. I have no idea why the announcers were talking about Gilligan’s Island for the last two falls but I’d bet on some form of subtext.

Rating: D+. This came and went but it’s fine for a way to warm the crowd up. At the end of the day you have a lot of people on the roster and it makes sense to throw people together like this in a nothing match. It’s almost like part of the point of the series in the first place. There’s not much to the match but Goldust returning was a nice little surprise.

Lillian Garcia sings the National Anthem as a big middle finger to the terrorism charges. I actually liked this and she can sing the heck out of that song.

The opening video looks at the Undertaker because that’s really what this show is all about. The slow piano version of his theme is really cool. These recaps are actually really helpful because I had NO idea how we got to the Wyatts vs. the Brothers of Destruction. It turns out that they kidnapped Undertaker and Kane and now they’re fighting them because Bray and company are up there with Scooby-Doo villains when it comes to effectiveness. We also look at the tournament as an afterthought before going back to Undertaker and Kane.

WWE World Title Tournament Semifinals: Roman Reigns vs. Alberto Del Rio

Del Rio’s US Title isn’t on the line of course. What should be on the line is Roman’s career after the fans just erupt with boos during his entrance. Unfortunately this is also during the Zeb Colter period for Del Rio, which was just horrible on every level. They never clicked and there’s no way around that.

The booing turns into LET’S GO ROMAN/ROMAN SUCKS as Reigns hits a shoulder for the first offense. Alberto takes over outside but Roman hammers away back inside because he doesn’t have the strongest offense. The corner enziguri knocks Roman silly (that always looks great) and it’s time for the arm to go into the steps. We see HHH watching with a smile on his face after Reigns turned down a chance to be the Authority’s new protege because they’re still trying to redo Austin vs. McMahon.

A chinlock slows things down and Roman goes shoulder first into the post to make the arm even worse. The running clothesline drops Del Rio and Reigns’ good arm fires off the corner clotheslines. Del Rio gets in a Backstabber to take over again as this is going back and forth. They head to the corner so Del Rio can miss that still horribly stupid top rope double stomp and bang up his knee.

Not that it matters as it’s cross armbreaker into the rollup into the powerbomb but Roman can’t cover. Now the armbreaker goes on for a few seconds before Roman easily escapes (likely because it wasn’t on the arm Del Rio had worn down) and spears his way to the finals at 14:05.

Rating: B-. Standard Raw main event here and I don’t think anyone bought Del Rio was going to go to the finals. At the end of the day his main event run is LONG over at this point and there’s no reason to believe Reigns is going to be the first top level face in forever to submit to the armbreaker. The match was entertaining but really more of a way to kill time until the inevitable spear. That’s not necessarily a bad thing.

Ambrose praises Reigns for his win and Roman is happy to fight Dean for the title. That was pretty much the only possible ending to the tournament and everyone knew it when the brackets were revealed. Kevin Owens comes in after Ambrose leaves and thinks Reigns will screw up at the finish line all over again because Kevin himself will stop him.

WWE World Title Tournament Semifinals: Kevin Owens vs. Dean Ambrose

Owens’ Intercontinental Title isn’t on the line. Kevin grabs a headlock as JBL goes into his ridiculous rant about how Ambrose can’t be the face of the company because he wouldn’t look good on the Tonight Show and on billboards as that’s pretty much just John Cena and John Cena alone.

Ambrose rakes Owens’ eyes across the top rope and slingshots out to the floor as the fans seem to be paying more attention to this one because there’s an actual chance either guy could win. It’s funny how that works. Dean gets crotched on the top and hit with the Cannonball (insert your Otto Wanz reference here because JBL has to use the same references every single time someone does a move), followed by a chinlock.

That goes nowhere so it’s the torture rack neckbreaker for another near fall. The two count means it’s time for some trash talking as only Owens can do. The fans are split again and I’m not sure if that’s good or bad. We’re right back to the chinlock (Owens: “CHINLOCK CITY BABY!”) before a double clothesline puts both guys down. Kevin misses his moonsault (good looking one too) and the standing elbow gets two.

They head up top with Owens countering a superplex into that sweet swinging fisherman’s superplex. Owens: “COLE TELL HIM TO STAY DOWN!” That’s one thing I love about Owens: he does stuff that feels out of nowhere because he’s a bit off. A trip to the floor means something like a gutbuster onto the announcers’ table but the Pop Up Powerbomb is countered into a hurricanrana and Dirty Deeds sends Dean to the finals at 11:20.

Rating: B. I liked the energy here as it felt like a back and forth match with Owens not being able to keep Dean down and Dean just trying to sneak in anything he could at any time. It also helps that you could see Owens getting the win instead of waiting around until he got speared. That can do wonders and it made for a better match here.

TLC 2015 ad. I still love that video game theme.

We look at Undertaker’s debut and the rest of his career. Of note in that debut match: Roddy Piper said if anyone can figure out Undertaker, Bret Hart could do it. Over their careers, Undertaker never pinned Bret Hart (save for one house show) in a singles match.

Team Ryback vs. Team Sheamus

Ryback, Usos, Lucha Dragons

Sheamus, King Barrett, New Day

There’s no real rhyme or reason to these teams so I picked two singles guys for the captains. Also I’m pretty sure this was a bonus match for the sake of filling in some time and, you know, it’s Survivor Series. Sheamus is Mr. Money in the Bank here. It’s also REALLY weird to see New Day as heels, though they’re definitely getting over as faces in a hurry. Atlanta native Xavier Woods has a rather impressive new hair style and Kofi brags about all the gold on their team. Sheamus: “And tonight, WE’RE GONNA GET JIGGY ON THESE POSERS!!! AM I RIGHT???” The silence is hilarious but Kofi turns it into NEW DAY ROCKS!

Jey and Woods get things going and Xavier’s wishes for untouched hair are quickly ignored. Kofi comes in and gets splashed by Cara (with an assist from the twins) before Sheamus comes in and gets sent outside. Actually all of the heels are sent outside for a quadruple dive, followed by Ryback diving onto all of them. I’m sure WWE stifled the creativity he really wanted to display with that dive though and his idea was shot down.

We reset to Barrett working on Jey’s ribs and the heels take over. Xavier busts out the trombone and dancing ensues with Barrett joining in for the GIF of the night. An enziguri is enough to set up the hot tag off to Jimmy for the house cleaning. The superkick sets up Cara’s Swanton Bomb to get rid of Barrett and make it 5-4.

It’s Kofi’s turn to get beaten up but he grabs Jimmy in a backbreaker, combined with a top rope double stomp from Woods to tie things up. Big E. spears Cara through the ropes and there’s the Brogue Kick for the elimination. That’s not cool with Big E. as he thinks Sheamus stole his pin (true) so Ryback jumps E. from behind, setting up the Superfly Splash to tie things up again. Actually let’s make that 3-1 as Kofi and Woods walk out, leaving Sheamus all by himself.

Sheamus slowly stomps on Kalisto and does the ten forearms. JBL: “It’s like a pub in Dublin!” Cole: “They have masked luchadors over there?” Jimmy comes back in for the running Umaga attack as Lawler talks about Doink. A few shots slow Ryback down but Jimmy kicks Sheamus into the Shell Shock for the pin at 17:33.

Rating: D+. So Sheamus just lost to an Uso, a Lucha Dragon and Ryback and we’re supposed to buy him as a future World Champion? I mean, I know they need to have him established as being in the building but can they really do nothing other than having him get pinned here? The match was fine but the energy died after New Day was gone. It’s almost like the whole “Sheamus isn’t interesting” thing is absolutely right.

We recap Team PCB (Remember them? Paige, Charlotte and Becky Lynch) splitting up with Paige turning on Charlotte, partially out of jealousy for Charlotte’s Divas Title.

Divas Title: Paige vs. Charlotte

Charlotte is defending and isn’t the most interesting face because heroines who are bigger, stronger and more athletic than most of their opponents aren’t really the best choices for the top of a division. Except Roman Reigns of course. He’s just that cool. We actually get Big Match Intros and Paige has blue highlights for a nice look.

Charlotte easily wrestles her down to the mat and the frustration is setting in. Some knees to the chest have Charlotte in trouble and Paige’s shouts get NOTHING from the crowd. Back in and we hit an abdominal stretch so she can shout about being the Divas Champion. A backpack Stunner gets the champ out of trouble and brings the match one step closer to a coma.

They trade kicks to the face and Paige escapes the Figure Four because it’s WAY too early for a submission. The hold wasn’t the right way to go so Charlotte puts her in an electric chair to drop Paige onto the apron. Back in and we hit the figure four neck lock so Charlotte can use those legs to torture her a bit. Charlotte goes shoulder first into the post, which Lawler thinks could be a game changer.

Paige grabs a crossface while bending Charlotte’s leg forward at the same time as this continues to go from spot to spot because there’s no real story. Like, they’re both doing fine and the match is entertaining but I have no reason to care about either one of them. It’s very TNA of them.

A neckbreaker out of the corner gets Charlotte out of trouble and the bad looking spear sets up Natural Selection. There’s no cover though as it heads outside with Paige sending her into the barricade. Paige then poses on that said barricade and gets tackled off for a big crash, followed by the Figure Eight back inside to retain the title at 14:10.

Rating: B-. The match was fine but like I said, there was just nothing to get excited over. The story here was a team splitting up to set up the title match but that story doesn’t work because when no one cared about the team in the first place because they were thrown together for the sake of a lame story. Good wrestling, horrible storytelling.

Earlier tonight, Ambrose said everyone knew this was coming and he’ll fight his brother with no regrets. Reigns comes in to say he’ll bring it and they’re cool no matter what.

Tyler Breeze vs. Dolph Ziggler

Breeze debuted a few weeks ago (and lost his first match) and hooked up with Summer Rae, who had recently split with Ziggler, thereby setting up the mini feud. They trade laying on the top rope before Ziggler snaps off a dropkick. Breeze is knocked outside for the spot that would normally take us to a break in a TV match. I mean, this is a TV match but it’s on pay per view because it got bumped from the pre-show for the sake of time.

Back in and Breeze slowly hammers away before grabbing a weak half crab. Ziggler dropkicks him out of the air and hits some running clotheslines into the neckbreaker. To be fair, he does touch his knee before doing the big jumping elbow for two. We hit the pinfall reversal sequence before Tyler kicks him in the knee and hits an Unprettier for the pin at 6:31.

Rating: D. Cole tried to make this out to be a huge win but at the end of the day, it’s a win in a TV match disguised as a pay per view match against the guy that everyone beats. Breeze was dead in the water when he debuted on Smackdown and lost his first match because it was in the tournament against Ambrose. Hence why Breeze is where he is today. Ziggler is basically in the same spot he’s been in for years: hovering in the midcard and being the exact same thing, save for an occasional bump up thanks to an actual interesting character in the Miz.

We recap the Brothers of Destruction vs. the Wyatts. Undertaker: “I’m creepy!” Bray: “I’m creepier than you!” Undertaker: “These young boys never learn.” Bray also kidnapped both of them….and then let them go because he’s weird that way.

Undertaker/Kane vs. Bray Wyatt/Luke Harper

The entrances take FOREVER with Undertaker’s going even longer than usual, though it’s a pretty special occasion. Before the bell rings, Undertaker and Kane have to beat up Rowan to fulfill a contractual requirement of any Wyatt match. Kane and Harper start, basically missing the purpose of the entire feud. A basement dropkick floors Luke and it’s off to Undertaker for a nice reaction.

Cole declares Undertaker the greatest of all time as Luke’s arm is cranked. Old School is broken up as JBL does his stat/history reading designed to sound like casual conversation and, as usual, it’s horrible. Bray gets beaten up a little bit and NOW Old School connects. This time it’s JBL talking about Undertaker doing Old School for 25 years straight because we need to ignore shows he wasn’t at and times when he didn’t do the move. It’s off to Kane, who Strowman throws through the announcers’ table.

Somehow that’s not a DQ so it’s Bray taking over on Kane as we wait on the inevitable Undertaker hot tag. Sister Abigail is countered and the running DDT allows the aforementioned tag. Undertaker gets clotheslined to the floor where Strowman takes the double chokeslam through the other announcers’ table. Sister Abigail gets two on Undertaker, we get the double situp to break Bray’s spider walk and it’s the chokeslam into a Tombstone to finish Harper at 10:41.

Rating: D. They would have been better off having Undertaker just fight Harper on his own here as there was no doubt on the win and the Wyatts lost any credibility they might have had. I’m cool with Undertaker getting the big moment on the big stage and all that jazz because twenty five years to the day is an impressive day but this was really just a way to waste about twenty minutes and talk about how great Undertaker is.

WWE World Title: Roman Reigns vs. Dean Ambrose

The title is vacant coming in. Dean wins the early slugout but is taken outside and whipped into the barricade. The fans are all over Reigns as Dean hits the suicide dive, followed by an armbar to follow up on the earlier match. Some powerbombs get two on Dean and the Superman Punch is good for the same. Dean’s rebound lariat doesn’t do much good as Reigns spears him down for two. It’s really not a good sign that we’re at the first kickout of a finisher five minutes into a pay per view main event.

Another spear is blocked by a boot before the shirt spear is sent shoulder first into the post. Dirty Deeds gets two more and most of the crowd doesn’t seem to care, mainly because they’re hip to the trading finishers concept. They start slugging it out while sitting on the mat with Dean getting the better of it and hammering away in the corner….before he gets speared for the pin and the title at 9:02.

Rating: D+. What in the world was that? Reigns just pins him in nine minutes to win the title? There’s little drama, no surprise as everyone knew he was going to get the title here and barely any time for the match because all these other things needed to go so much longer. Reigns is a legitimate champion after beating four people to get the title but my goodness this was disappointing.

They take their sweet time celebrating as confetti falls….and here’s HHH. The boss offers a handshake and gets speared down, which Cole calls the most important moment in Reigns’ career. Cue Sheamus and the title match is on.

WWE World Title: Sheamus vs. Roman Reigns

Brogue Kick gets two, second Brogue Kick makes Sheamus champion at 34 seconds. Where did Dean go while this was happening?

The heels celebrate and Reigns looks like he’s about to cry to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. I remember liking this at first but sweet goodness this does not hold up. So there’s a tournament with the most obvious final ever and the most obvious winner ever and then “oh wait never mind because Sheamus cashes in because Money in the Bank ruins everything). The semifinal matches were fine for big time Raw main events but that’s not what people remember and/or care about. This show was about Reigns winning the title and then they screw that over for the “surprise” ending.

What’s even worse is where this would go. Reigns would go into Superman mode and win the title twenty two days later when he beat Sheamus on Raw, making this a huge waste of time and two cheap title reigns in a row. Sheamus is not a main event talent and this does more harm to Reigns than good. Just have Reigns fend off the cash-in attempt and hold the title until the HHH win in the Royal Rumble. Everything winds up the same and you don’t have the lame story and lame ending to this show.

Other than the World Title scene, we have the mess that is the rest of the card. The only other thing that matters here is the Undertaker match, which was a cool moment with the setup but a really bad match and another moment with the Wyatts losing for the sake of giving Undertaker another big win. The women’s match was fine albeit ice cold, the Survivor Series match had no story and was just a way to have New Day be funny and Breeze vs. Ziggler was advertised and therefore had to take place.

Now to be fair, they had to change A TON of stuff for the sake of the tournament and that’s not on them. What is on them is going with the “surprise” factor over logical storytelling. Sheamus is a multiple time World Champion and a Money in the Bank winner but that doesn’t mean he’s someone people want to see on top of the card at this point. If they want Reigns to be a top star, they need to let him be a top star. A five minute title reign after a bad match isn’t the way to go about that.

Ratings Comparison

Dudley Boyz/Goldust/Neville/Titus O’Neil vs. Cosmic Wasteland/Miz/Bo Dallas

Original: C

Redo: D+

Roman Reigns vs. Alberto Del Rio

Original: B

Redo: B-

Kevin Owens vs. Dean Ambrose

Original: B-

Redo: B

Team Ryback vs. Team Sheamus

Original: C

Redo: D+

Paige vs. Charlotte

Original: C-

Redo: B-

Dolph Ziggler vs. Tyler Breeze

Original: C-

Redo: D

Brothers of Destruction vs. Wyatt Family

Original: D+

Redo: D

Roman Reigns vs. Dean Ambrose

Original: D

Redo: D+

Sheamus vs. Roman Reigns

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Overall Rating

Original: C-

Redo: D

I was WAY too kind to this one the first time around. The last hour and a half is dreadful.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2015/11/22/survivor-series-2015-rise-and-fall/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Survivor Series 2014
Date: November 23, 2014
Location: Scottrade Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Attendance: 12,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

Now this is going to be an interesting one as the whole show is built around one match and that one match’s big surprise. Last year they made no secret about the show being entirely built around one single match, which wound up making the way to make the whole thing work. That one match is Team Cena vs. Team Authority for Cena and company’s jobs vs. the Authority having power. The jobs were thrown in at the last minute to really hammer home who was going to win but that’s not always the worst thing. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Fandango vs. Justin Gabriel

This is the NEW AND IMPROVED Fandango, meaning he has Rosa Mendes and now wears a white shirt. We’re ready to go after the dance sequence that kills even more time. They slowly punch each other to start with Gabriel, who has skeleton tights for no apparent reason (JBL: “The leftovers from Giant Gonzalez.”), getting knocked to the floor.

Back in and Justin breaks out of a chinlock and gets two off a springboard kick to the face. For someone who flies around as much as Gabriel, the fans are almost totally silent. A suplex slam (as in a suplex where Fandango never left his feet) takes Gabriel down and the guillotine legdrop is good enough to put Justin away at 3:10.

Rating: D-. You know how Fandango still hasn’t done anything since his “rebirth” here? After this match it really surprises me that he still has a job as this was so horribly boring. Naturally they did the same match again the next night on Raw because maybe they just didn’t get the point across here. Really boring match.

Pre-Show: Cesaro vs. Jack Swagger

The battle of the former Real Americans. On the way to the ring, Cesaro talks about the history of Swiss neutrality before picking Team Authority. He proclaims his allegiance in various languages (which is NOTHING that could ever be capitalized in around the world) until Swagger and Colter come in to pick Team Cena. Swagger gets a quick rollup for two to start, earning himself a gutwrench suplex.

The Patriot Lock has Cesaro in early trouble but he’s still able to throw Swagger down with a German suplex. More suplexes set up a chinlock. Back up and Swagger grabs a German of his own, followed by a chop block to stay on the leg. The Vader Bomb is blocked but Swagger grabs the Patriot Lock. That goes nowhere and more Germans are rolled, only to have Swagger counter into the Patriot Lock again for the submission at 5:23.

Rating: C-. They crammed a lot of suplexes into just five minutes. This also shows you how much better a match can be if you have interesting people in there. Swagger isn’t the best in the world but there’s at least a reason to care about him and more than one note to his character. I’ll take Cesaro being all serious and speaking different languages over HE’S A DANCER IN A WHITE SHIRT any day.

The opening video recaps the main event, which was set up on Vince’s whim. That’s the problem with so much of what the Authority does: whatever happens can be changed by either the two of them or Vince because they’re the ultimate powers. No matter how the story goes, someone with power can come in and change anything at the drop of a hat. Why hasn’t Vince come back and changed something else on a whim? Eh no real reason other than the plot hasn’t called for it. That’s really bad writing.

Here’s Vince to open things up with talking. Vince talks (see, I told you that’s what he was going to do) about how epic this is really going to be and brings out the Authority because we haven’t heard from them in the first five minutes. The sucking up begins immediately but Vince cuts them off to bring out Cena.

Vince recaps the main event as we’re just burning through pay per view time here. Cena asks if the Authority will leave on their own accord if they lose tonight. HHH says that Cena is going to have a bad holiday because four men’s responsibilities will be on his head after tonight. Those four men are going to be forgotten about because they’re the ones with everything to lose. Cena will keep his job because he’s such a big star, but he’ll have that on his head forever.

Stephanie suggests that someone on Team Cena will turn on him because they have to think of themselves. She says the Authority will still have their jobs at headquarters and run things from afar, but Vince says not so fast. They’ll still have desk jobs and be in charge of different departments but they’ll have no authority on screen.

One more thing: if the Authority does lose tonight, only Cena can bring them back. That’s the moment where they gave away the ending and everyone knew the Authority would be back by the end of the year at the latest. Stephanie goes into full STEPHANIE IS SHOUTING mode but Cena says the Authority will lose tonight.

So to recap the recap (which took us to fifteen minutes into the show): the Authority will still have jobs and huge salaries but they just don’t have to deal with the headaches of running the show. On top of that, Cena can bring them back because FOREVER means until Cena says otherwise. This is all stuff that could have been done on Raw but why not waste pay per view time on it. I know their line is “But it’s a free month on the Network!” That’s not an excuse to do something stupid like this as it’s a really bad way to get the show going when this could have been done in five minutes on any given TV show.

Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Miz/Damien Mizdow vs. Los Matadores vs. Goldust/Stardust

Goldust and Stardust (villains here) are defending and Mizdow is one of the most popular guys on the roster because of how hard he’s been working with the stunt double character. Diego and Stardust start things off as Cole reads Stardust’s latest riddle. A quick rollup gets two on Stardust before it’s off to Miz who is stopped by OLE! Mizdow does his stunt double stuff on the floor as JBL talks about Papa Shango putting a curse on Mizdow years ago. This isn’t a rousing start to the commentary tonight.

Miz won’t tag out, again missing the point of having a stunt double. Jey comes in to chop Diego but Goldust tags himself in and chinlocks the Samoan. The fans continue to want Mizdow but Stardust waves them off and uppercuts Jey instead. This time it’s Miz tagging himself in but Fernando tags Jey and flips off the top and onto Miz.

It’s FINALLY off to Mizdow, only to have Goldust tag himself in ten seconds later to bring the crowd back to silence. Lawler brings up a great point: if Mizdow comes in and Miz is on the apron, shouldn’t Mizdow just stand there? Stardust comes in and stomps Fernando before cranking on both arms to slow things down a bit. Goldust stomps Fernando on the floor (brothers think alike) and we hit the chinlock. Things stay slow as we hear about Grumpy Cat appearing on Raw. I had been trying to forget that guys.

Stardust loads up what looks like a Tombstone but Fernando spins out into a tornado DDT (good one too) and it’s off to Jimmy. Now we pick things up a bit with the Usos cleaning house with Umaga attacks and superkicks (and a shaking camera, which has happened multiple times tonight). Goldust powerslams Jimmy down for two but the double Uso dive takes down a few people.

There’s the Falling Star from Stardust, giving us this brilliant exchange: Cole: “That’s the Falling Star!” “JBL: “I have no idea what that is!” Cole: “It’s the Falling Star!” JBL: “I know!” Torito gets thrown onto the pile and Diego does the same. Back in and a quadruple Tower of Doom takes down Los Matadores and the champs, allowing Mizdow to tag himself in and pin Goldust for the titles at 15:25.

Rating: C. This was a big longer than it needed to be but the payoff was exactly what it needed to be. There was no reason to wait any longer on giving Mizdow something and this opens the door for some new possibilities in the story. The match was fun but they could have cut out a few minutes to make it flow better. It’s fun enough though (annoying commentary aside) and a good way to open the show, after the long talking of course.

Miz takes both titles and Mizdow keeps posing.

Larry the Cable Guy is guest hosting Raw. As usual, WWE is about ten years behind the pop culture times.

Vince will be on the Steve Austin Show. Now that could be entertaining and it kind of was if I remember correctly.

Adam Rose and the Bunny do a toy commercial until Heath Slater and Titus O’Neil come in to set up a match for later. Fans: “NO! NO! NO!” Is it bad that I miss the Bunny and wanted to see more of him?

Team Paige vs. Team Team Fox

Paige, Cameron, Summer Rae, Layla

Alicia Fox, Natalya, Emma, Naomi

Natalya is accompanied by Tyson Kidd, who clearly doesn’t care in a great short run character. Paige and Natalya start things off on the mat and we hit the King’s Court reference which turns into a discussion of Lawler having a foursome. Paige is sent to the floor for a quick spank from Natalya (because of course) before it’s off to Layla vs. Emma, neither of whom are still on the main roster. Lawler: “Emma could trip over cordless phones.” That’s not very hard to do King.

It’s back to Paige for a headbutt and THIS IS MY HOUSE. How can she afford this many houses? Cameron comes in to break up a tag attempt and this could go badly. The fans want Mizdow again and good grief it’s the Daniel Bryan story all over again. You just had him for fifteen minutes when he won a title. Be happy with what you got and shut up already. Emma rolls over and tags Naomi for the big showdown that no one wanted to see. Naomi runs through Cameron and a bad looking wheelbarrow Stunner gets two.

Everything breaks down and Cameron does an awful bulldog, allowing Naomi to roll her up for the elimination at 6:12. Summer kicks Naomi down to take over, only to miss a splash. Fox comes in as the announcers ignore the match to talk about old Survivor Series teams. The heels bail so Fox tries to get a CHICKEN chant started. It’s off to Layla for her bouncy cross body but a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gives Alicia the elimination at 9:29.

Summer comes in and misses a charge, allowing Natalya to dropkick her down. It’s off to Paige who takes over, only to have Summer do Paige’s scream and get decked as a result. Emma comes in for the Dilemma, a forearm to Paige on the apron and the Emma Lock for the submission on Summer at 12:04. So Paige is all alone and starts with Emma, who quickly faceplants her down. Natalya eats a superkick so it’s off to Naomi for the Rear View and the headscissors DDT for the final pin at 14:16.

Rating: D-. Oh sweet goodness the Divas Revolution needed to happen soon. This match felt like it was going on forever with almost none of them looking like they should have been out there this long. Between “CHICKEN! CHICKEN!” and Layla’s face offense under the guise of a heel and Cameron being the disaster that only she can be, this was horrible with Paige and Natalya not being able to hold it together.

Kidd, who didn’t do a thing all match, celebrates more than anyone else in a great touch. That’s the highlight of the last fifteen minutes.

We recap the pre-show, which also included the return of Bad News Barrett. As usual, Cesaro gets left out. The best part: Renee Young with long hair. I had forgotten about that and it says a lot that she’s just as beautiful with her hair hacked off.

The panel talks for a bit.

We recap Bray Wyatt vs. Dean Ambrose, which started when Wyatt targeted Ambrose in October for whatever reason Bray picks his next target. There was something about Dean’s dad being in prison but it was never really explained. Ambrose said he didn’t care why Wyatt did it anyway so it didn’t really matter. Tonight is the first match.

Dean Ambrose vs. Bray Wyatt

They slug it out to start (shocking) before heading outside (even more shocking) where Dean takes over with some clotheslines. Back in and Bray runs Dean over before knocking a dive out of the air with a right hand. I can never get used to Bray’s blood red tattoos as they always fool me. We hit a seated full nelson on Dean (always nice to see them mix up the rest holds) before he fights up for a double cross body.

They go outside for the third time for a double clothesline and both guys are down again. Back in and Dean takes over before doing Bray’s lean upside down out of the corner in a nice touch. Dean ties him in the ropes and kisses Bray on the head before a dropkick and legdrop get two. Bray counters the Rebound Lariat into a release Rock Bottom for two as this match really hasn’t taken off yet.

The middle rope backsplash misses because it would have killed Dean and the top rope elbow gets two for Ambrose. Back up and Bray EXPLODES with a clothesline and he makes it even worse with another Rock Bottom onto the steps. That’s only good for two so Bray grabs a mic and says they could have ruled the world together. Dean has chosen his path though so Bray grabs a chair and drops to his knees like he did with Cena at Wrestlemania. Dean isn’t Cena though and he hits Bray with the chair for the DQ at 14:00.

Rating: C+. Much like the Cena match at Wrestlemania, this felt a lot more like it was designed to set up something else (which it was) instead of being a big showdown. Bray’s babbling gets to the point where you stop caring what he’s talking about and that doesn’t make for the most interesting matches. No matter how you look at it, the whole thing always feels like you’re waiting on the next big thing, which gets repetitive in a hurry. It’s still a fun brawl though and got going after the first few minutes.

Post match Dean lays Bray out and elbows him through a table. That’s not enough for him as he buries Bray under another table and a pile of chairs. That’s only T and C though so why not pull out a ladder? Dean climbs the ladder but is all like “this is the free month so you have to pay to see me dive off.” Referees won’t let him shove the ladder onto the pile either.

The Authority gives their team a long pep talk, including Stephanie crying at the thought of only having a huge salary and working in an office. This is one of the problems of having such a big main event: there’s so much time to fill which certainly couldn’t have been filled with another Survivor Series match. This talk eats up WAY too much time and is summed up as “we’re betting everything we have tonight so win or else.”

Adam Rose/The Bunny vs. Heath Slater/Titus O’Neil

Slater and the Bunny get things going but Rose tags himself in quickly. Heath gets him on the mat before it’s off to Titus for some forearms to the back. Rose dives over and makes the tag. Lawler: “Maybe we should explain why there’s a bunny in the ring.” Cole: “Well it’s actually a man in a bunny suit.” Good grief just start speaking gibberish to us since they clearly think we’re that stupid. The Bunny pins Slater off a middle rope dropkick.

The Rosebuds leave with the Bunny.

More commercials. Counting the opener, the pep talk and all these commercials, there’s probably been seventeen minutes wasted, or about the same amount of time spent on a quick Survivor Series match.

The injured Roman Reigns has a satellite interview where he talks about wanting to be here punching people. We’ll make it nineteen minutes of filler. Reigns will be back in a month.

Team Cena says they’re ready.

Divas Title: Nikki Bella vs. AJ Lee

AJ is defending and Nikki has Brie as her unwilling assistant. After the big match intros and Brie gets on the apron for a distraction, followed by kissing AJ (and launching a thousand fanfics). The Rack Attack gives us a new champion at 38 seconds in the Daniel Bryan vs. Sheamus finish. Allegedly this was the way the match was going the entire time and it wasn’t cut down, making me shake my head even more.

Of course the sisters are back together with an eventual explanation of “we’re sisters.”

Ambrose vs. Wyatt is announced for TLC in the namesake match.

We recap the main event. The Authority is all corrupt so Vince came in and said let’s put their power up against Team Cena. John put together a team of the few people who would fight with him so the Authority made them as miserable as they could. It’s a simple story but they’ve made this feel like a legitimately huge match.

Team Cena vs. Team Authority

John Cena, Big Show, Ryback, Dolph Ziggler, Erick Rowan

Seth Rollins, Kane, Rusev, Mark Henry, Luke Harper

Cena’s partners’ jobs vs. the Authority’s authority. Harper is Intercontinental Champion and Rusev is the undefeated US Champion. The eleven entrances eat up even more time but in a good way this time. They’ve done a really good job at making this feel like a big deal and it’s working well here. Henry and Show start but HHH has to get in one last pep talk, allowing Show to knock him out for the elimination at 50 seconds.

It’s Rollins in next but Show chops him down to the floor. Kane comes in but Show drags him into the corner for the tag off to Cena, who pounds on Kane even more. Now we get a showdown that the fans find bigger than it probably is with Rowan vs. Harper. This was during that short period where Rowan was a genius, which has been completely forgotten since. Rollins tags himself back in before anything can happen and is immediately caught in the wrong corner.

Ryback comes in to join in on the fun but Rollins tags out to Harper. That’s fine with Ryback as he grabs a vertical suplex, only to get punched in the face by Kane. The big bald is beaten down as well so we’ll try Rusev. A spinebuster ends the slugout but Shell Shock is broken up. Everything breaks down and it’s a Curb Stomp from Rollins and the jumping superkick from Rusev to eliminate Ryback and tie us up.

Show comes back in but Rusev escapes a quick chokeslam attempt and brings in Harper. A dropkick of all things puts Show down and it’s back to Kane for some stomping. Kane follows Harper’s suit with a (basement) dropkick, followed by the Gator Roll (he’s stopped using that) from Harper. Show throws Harper away too so it’s off to Ziggler, who Harper beat (through some shenanigans) to win the title.

The heels start taking over on Ziggler with Kane’s sidewalk slam getting two. A comeback is stopped by a boot to the face and it’s off to Rusev for some knees to the ribs. Ziggler tries to punch Rollins in the face but gets caught in a downward spiral into the corner. We hit the chinlock for a bit before the running DDT plants Rusev. Everything breaks down again and we hit the parade of finishers (always a favorite).

Rollins is thrown onto a pile but Rusev throws Ziggler onto that pile. It’s time to load up the announcers’ table but Rusev misses Ziggler and splashes through the table instead, leading to a countout at 21:02 to make it 4-3. Cole: “COUNTOUTS ARE A FACTOR! COUNTOUTS ARE A FACTOR! COME ON DOLPH! COME ON DOLPH! ZIGGLER’S IN! ZIGGLER’S IN! RUSEV IS OUT! RUSEV IS OUT!” Get the parrot a cracker and shut him up already.

Back in and the exhausted Ziggler tags Cena for a quick AA to Kane. Rollins makes the save with a Curb Stomp and everyone is down. A double tag brings in Harper and Rowan with Erick cleaning house. Kane’s chokeslam is broken up but the springboard knee from Rollins sets up Harper’s discus lariat to put Rowan out at 24:14. So it’s Show/Cena/Ziggler vs. Rollins/Kane/Harper and we get a big six man staredown….until Show KO’s Cena, turning heel again to fill his quota for the year. Rollins steals the pin to eliminate Cena at 25:11. Now THAT is a shock.

Show stares down at the Authority and then walks out at 26:30, leaving Ziggler down 3-1. Ziggler can barely stand after the long beating he took but it’s now the Shawn formula in 2005. The fans want Orton (who was put out by Rollins a few weeks ago but why have the hometown boy here to make the save when you can have him on a movie set instead? To make it worse, Stephanie chants “OH YEAH! OH YEAH! OH YEAH!” in what was supposed to be cheerleading.

Kane throws Ziggler into the barricade and Rollins drags him over to the corner for some tags to the eliminated partners. Kane’s superplex is broken up though and a quick superkick and Zig Zag make it 2-1 at 29:35. Harper is right in though and kicks Ziggler’s head off to send him outside, followed by a nice suicide shove. A great sounding superkick gets two on Ziggler and the sitout powerbomb amazingly only gets the same. Ziggler somehow grabs a rollup (and jeans) for a fast elimination at 31:35, leaving us one on one.

Dolph can barely stand but he still grabs a DDT for two. Rollins has way more gas though and hammers Ziggler down, only to miss a top rope knee. The Fameasser gets two out of nowhere as HHH and Stephanie are losing their minds on the outside. Noble and Mercury are dispatched and the Zig Zag connects but HHH pulls the referee out at two.

The J’s are dispatched again and Stephanie is knocked off the apron (onto HHH of course because Heaven forbid she not have a soft landing). Another Curb Stomp misses and there’s a second Zig Zag for two with HHH breaking up the pin one more time. HHH beats on Ziggler for a bit and hits a Pedigree…..and there’s a crow.

In one of the biggest surprises of all time, STING makes his WWE debut (with JBL listing off his resume to make sure you know this was planned in advance) and HHH is in shock. Sting decks HHH’s crooked referee and does the big staredown with HHH, setting up the Death Drop (sold really well too). Sting pulls Ziggler on top of Rollins (who hasn’t moved in over six minutes) for the final pin at 44:07.

Rating: A. I liked this even better knowing what was coming. They did a really good job of setting up the story here as both teams were in enough trouble at different points to keep it interesting with the Cena elimination being the biggest of them all. I was genuinely surprised when that happened and it holds up well enough as a moment today. The near falls near the end were great as well, making this a really great match. This should have been a total star making performance for Ziggler but since WWE is in charge, it was pretty much forgotten in about a month.

HHH looks like reality sets in while Stephanie shows her horrible acting skills one more time. For once I’m fine with the focus being on them but good grief that screeching is killing it. On top of that, everyone knew they would be back sooner than later and it didn’t even last a month.

Overall Rating: B-. This is the definition of a one match show and thankfully that one match delivered because the rest of this show was pretty horrible. Everything from the end of Ambrose vs. Wyatt to the start of the main event was a waste of time or boring, as was so often the case in WWE at this point. The main event bails the show out, but that’s the ONLY thing worth watching on here.

Ratings Comparison

Fandango vs. Justin Gabriel

Original: D

2015 Redo: D-

Cesaro vs. Jack Swagger

Original: C-

2015 Redo: C-

Usos vs. Miz/Damien Mizdow vs. Goldust/Stardust vs. Los Matadores

Original: C+

2015 Redo: C

Team Paige vs. Team Fox

Original: D-

2015 Redo: D-

Dean Ambrose vs. Bray Wyatt

Original: B-

2015 Redo: C+

Slater Gator vs. Adam Rose/The Bunny

Original: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

AJ Lee vs. Nikki Bella

Original: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

Team Cena vs. Team Authority

Original: B+

2015 Redo: A

Overall Rating

Original: C

2015 Redo: B-

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2014/11/23/survivor-series-2014-i-believe-it/

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.