Smackdown Date: February 21, 2014
Location: World Arena, Colorado Springs, Colorado
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield
It’s the go home show for Elimination Chamber and everything is set for Sunday. Monday ended with a huge brawl between the twelve people in the two biggest matches on Sunday which is a good way to end a show. The main event for tonight is Sheamus vs. Christian after Christian turned heel on Monday. Let’s get to it.
No In Memory graphic for Nelson Frazier Jr. Even TNA had one of those. Maybe on Sunday.
Opening sequence.
Daniel Bryan vs. Jack Swagger
Bryan is nursing a bad shoulder after Christian and Kane attacked him on Raw. Jack goes after the shoulder to start but Bryan takes him to the mat and grabs a headlock. Two running dropkicks in the corner send Swagger to the floor but he catches Bryan charging off the apron and drops him onto the barricade. The bad shoulder goes into the barricade and post as Jack is being much more aggressive tonight.
Swagger stays on the arm by wrapping it around the ropes and driving in knees before slamming him down on the shoulder. Another slam gets two and Jack takes him to the top for what looks to be a northern lights superplex onto the arm. It’s nice to see someone mixing up their offense on a limb like that. Bryan slips down before Swagger can through him though and the running knee connects out of nowhere for the pin at 4:48. It’s as abrupt as it sounds.
Rating: C. It was nice while it lasted, but this is the kind of booking that makes me shake my head. We’re supposed to buy Swagger, known as losing more often than he wins, as a challenger for a title on Sunday so why would you have him lose clean in less than five minutes? Obviously you can’t put him over Bryan, so WHY PUT THE TWO OF THEM TOGETHER IN THE FIRST PLACE??? Have Jack beat up Sin Cara or Ziggler or Miz or have Cesaro come in for the DQ before Bryan can cover. Just don’t have Swagger get pinned this soon before a title shot.
Post match Vickie Guerrero comes out and makes Bryan vs. Cesaro because she’s a heel now after acting like a face with Colter last week.
Daniel Bryan vs. Cesaro
Cesaro goes right after the arm to start by taking Bryan into the corner and driving knees into the shoulder. Daniel comes back with some kicks but a single shot to the shoulder puts him right back down. Cesaro takes him into the middle of the ring and cranks on the arm even more before slamming it down onto the mat. Again, it’s much better to mix up the offense than to use the same move over and over again. Keep it fresh.
Bryan fights up and goes to the middle rope but dives into a shoulder breaker for two. We hit the armbar as Cole thinks Bryan should just give up now and save himself for Sunday. Daniel is able to knock Cesaro to the floor and hit the FLYING GOAT but a Colter distraction lets Cesaro kick the bad shoulder. Jack gets caught with a chair and gets ejected for his efforts. Colter gets the same and we take a break.
Back with Cesaro pummeling Bryan in the corner with Kane at ringside. Cesaro loads up a superplex, making sure to bend Bryan’s arm as slowly as possible, but Daniel headbutts him down and scores with a missile dropkick. The YES Kicks give Daniel a breather but the big one is countered into the Swing. Back in and Cesaro throws Bryan into the air for Swiss Death which might have hit the shoulder. Another running uppercut in the corner has Bryan reeling but he comes out with a running knee to knock Cesaro silly, only to draw in Kane for the DQ at 10:20 shown of 13:20.
Rating: C+. This ending works much better as Bryan was in trouble but Cesaro still could have kicked out due to Bryan not being able to cover immediately. The arm work here was good and they still have an out to keep the title off Bryan on Sunday, or a way to have him overcome the odds and shock the world. I’m still hoping we get Kane vs. Bryan on a big Raw before Wrestlemania and HHH vs. Bryan at the PPV if he doesn’t get in the title match.
Kane announces the result like he did on Monday. Cesaro hits the Neutralizer on Bryan to blow off some steam.
Christian talks about being more aggressive because he knows his window to be champion again is closing. The last few weeks haven’t been going the way he’d hoped and he had to figure it out before the Chamber. These people at home stuffing their faces aren’t going to help him so he had to do it himself.
Bella Twins video on how to use the Network.
We look at The Shield and Wyatts nearly colliding on Monday before brawling to end the show. I’d take Bray vs. Reigns at Wrestlemania right now.
The Wyatts come out for their match. Bray says there isn’t much left to say now. The Shield are just three dominoes in a line and then the rest shall fall. They want people to believe in them but how can that happen when they’re crawling on their hands and knees, looking up at the eater of worlds? Follow the buzzards.
Wyatt Family vs. Cody Rhodes/Goldust/Rey Mysterio
Harper and Rey get things going with the big man tossing Rey around, only to have Rhodes come in off a blind tag. A running clothesline gets two on Luke and it’s off to Rowan vs. Goldust with the painted one taking over. Goldust ducks a right hand in the corner and fires off some punches of his own, only to get caught in a fallaway slam. Bray himself comes in for a hard clothesline as we take a break.
Back with Harper Gator Rolling Goldust before putting on a headlock. Goldust fights up and hits a quick sunset bomb but Luke rolls through before a count. The hot tag brings in Cody with a springboard missile dropkick and the moonsault press for two. The fans aren’t getting all that fires up by this match. Rey comes in off another blind tag as Harper is sent to the floor. Back in and Harper counters the 619 with a big boot to give Bray a two count.
Rowan comes back in for a bearhug and a big side slam for two. Luke gets another tag and hammers on Rey for a few seconds before it’s back to Bray for the running splash in the corner. Rey counters a second one with a drop toehold and it’s off to Goldust to speed things up a bit.
A spinebuster puts Rowan down and the spinning cross body does the same. Rey comes in with a 619 to set up a Goldust powerslam for two. Harper catches Rey diving over the ropes and slams him into the barricade as Bray makes a blind tag. Goldust loads up Shattered Dreams to Erick but Wyatt runs him over, setting up Sister Abigail for the pin at 12:52.
Rating: B-. This was the usual six man tag between the Wyatts and any group of three midcard guys, meaning it was entertaining but nothing we haven’t seen before. The Family is getting better in the ring and there’s something awesome about Bray just throwing his body into people like a battering ram.
We recap Sheamus accidentally kicking Christian last week.
Sheamus says he’s partially responsible for Christian’s new side. Christian is aggressive now and that’s what Sheamus wants. Tonight’s Brogue Kick won’t be an accident. Another simple but to the point promo from Sheamus which is better than his Irish folk tale nonsense.
Time for a dance off between Summer Rae and Emma. Quick summary of the next five minutes: Emma wins, the fans still don’t care, Summer calls Fandango her baby boopsie, Santino and Fandango brawl and no one cares.
Ron Simmons Black History Month video.
Alexander Rusev will achieve greatness.
Dolph Ziggler vs. Titus O’Neil
Darren Young is on commentary. Dolph scores with an early dropkick but gets thrown down to the mat with ease. Titus cranks on the arm but gets caught by a cross body and right hands. Some more punches in the corner have Titus in trouble but he comes back with a big boot. Darren gets on the announcers’ table and blows the whistle for a distraction so Dolph can get a rollup pin at 2:40.
Road Dogg vs. Jimmy Uso
Dog gets taken into the corner to start but comes back with some kicks to the rib and one to the side of the head. We hit a quick chinlock on Jimmy but he comes back with a Samoan drop. A right hand misses and Dogg fires off his shaky punches but Jimmy escapes the pumphandle and superkicks Roadie for the pin at 3:03.
Rating: D+. Just a quick match here to set up the Tag Title shot on Sunday. There’s still no reason to keep the titles on the Outlaws, which is why I’d almost bet they hold onto them until at least Extreme Rules, probably getting a win at Wrestlemania in a multi team tag match. Nothing to see here though the Usos can wrestle singles matches decently enough.
Video on the Chamber.
Sheamus vs. Christian
Sheamus shoves him around to start and an elbow sends Christian out to the apron. Back in and Christian punches Sheamus in the face which brings a smile to the Irishman’s face. Christian low bridges a charging Sheamus to the floor but misses a baseball slide and walks into the rolling fireman’s carry on the floor as we take a break.
Back with Sheamus holding a chinlock but getting sent into 619 position. Christian tries his jump over the top rope into a right hand but Sheamus blocks the punch and shoves him into the barricade. Sheamus charges at him but gets backdropped to the timekeeper’s area to change control. A middle rope missile dropkick gets two for Christian and he goes after the surgically repaired shoulder.
The arm is wrapped around the ropes and Sheamus bites the ropes to get through the pain. More cranking on the arm ensues but Christian escapes the Killswitch. Some right hands have Sheamus in trouble but he’s still able to slam Christian off the top. The running ax handles and a powerslam get two on Christian but he comes back with a tornado DDT on the arm for two.
Christian tries to snap Sheamus’ neck against the ropes but gets countered into the ten forearms, only to send Sheamus shoulder first into the post for two. Sheamus comes back with a pair of Irish Curses but Christian bails to the floor to avoid the Brogue. Back in and Christian slams Sheamus off the top to take over. The middle rope back elbow looks to set up the Killswitch but Sheamus counters into White Noise for the pin at 12:48 shown of 15:48.
Rating: B-. This was Sheamus 101: a nice match where he beats an upper midcarder to set up a match against main eventers that he has no chance of winning. He’s the main event jobber and there’s nothing wrong with that role. The fans are into his act too, even if there’s nothing deep to him. Nice main event but it showed the problem with Christian as a heel. He barely ever won a big match as a face and his finisher isn’t optimal given how long it takes to set up
Sheamus poses but Christian shoves him off the top and to the floor to end the show.
Overall Rating: C+. Good way to go into the Chamber here as Sheamus gets some spotlight of his own instead of sharing it like he’s done since he returned. The Chamber card looks pretty good but I’m worried about the end results and how they’re going to shape up Wrestlemania. I could have gone for a Shield promo but it’s still a good way to set up Sunday.
Results
Daniel Bryan b. Jack Swagger – Running knee
Daniel Bryan b. Cesaro via DQ when Kane interfered
Wyatt Family b. Goldust/Cody Rhodes/Rey Mysterio – Sister Abigail to Goldust
Dolph Ziggler b. Titus O’Neil – Rollup
Jimmy Uso b. Road Dogg – Superkick
Sheamus b. Christian – White Noise
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Monday Night Raw – April 22, 2002: A Very Slight Improvement
Monday Night Raw Date: April 22, 2002
Location: Savvis Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler
Thankfully we’re past Backlash but Hulk Hogan is once again WWF Champion after winning one of the most boring main events in recorded history last night. The result: he gets another match with Undertaker at Judgment Day as we drag this company even further back into the 90s. Hopefully the show is more interesting than last week’s mess. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of the title change last night to make everyone feel good. Uh yeah….good is the right word.
Brock Lesnar vs. Matt Hardy
Matt comes in through the crowd to get in a cheap shot on Brock but Lesnar comes back with a spinebuster to reinjure the damaged ribs. Three straight backbreakers have Hardy in even more trouble and there’s a bearhug for good measure. Brock misses a charge into the post and injures his arm so Matt wraps it around the post. A Side Effect sets up a pair of legdrops off the ropes but Brock easily counters the Twist of Fate into the F5. A spinning powerbomb is enough for the referee to stop the match before Matt’s dead body starts decomposing.
Rating: C-. Not a total squash but it was exactly what it needed to be. Brock comes off like a monster who just destroyed a former multiple time champion. The Hardys were on the down side of their team career at this point but they were still good to be fed to Lesnar like pieces of tattooed meat.
Some tech guys are annoyed at Flair for costing Austin the title shot last night despite it being an honest mistake. Undertaker pops up and says he owes Flair one.
Here’s Undertaker with something to say. He thanks Flair for a job well done last night and says he would have won no matter who was refereeing last night. This takes a bit longer than it should due to the WHAT treatment. Now he gets to go to Judgment Day to face Hulk Hogan and the nostalgia trip. Hogan can thank him later for giving him the victory over HHH, but at Judgment Day Undertaker is Hulkamania’s judge, jury and executioner.
As Undertaker is talking, here’s HHH coming down to the ring and wanting a fight. Undertaker rightly points out that only champions can be on both shows but it’s HHH so rules don’t apply I guess. The fight is on and heads outside with HHH in control and blasting Undertaker in the head with a monitor. Referees finally drag HHH off but he beats them up too and goes after the bloody Undertaker. They fight into the back with HHH throwing Undertaker into various objects before pulling out a sledgehammer. Referees finally break it up before any murdering occurs.
And now: Booker T and Goldust at the Movies! Today’s feature: the Scorpion King. Goldust talks about deep meanings in the film but Booker says just roll the footage. Booker liked the movie but thinks he would have been a better star. We get another clip with Booker (in wrestling gear) superimposed over Rock. “I’m a five time WCW Champion. AND I GOT A SWORD TOO!” Goldust has the same kind of clip and it’s rather disturbing. Booker: “If you had starred in this movie, it would have been the Scorpion QUEEN!”
William Regal, old villain that he is, liked Flair’s officiating last night.
Rob Van Dam vs. Mr. Perfect
Intercontinental Champion Eddie Guerrero is on commentary and offers a distraction to let Perfect get in a cheap shot. They head outside with Van Dam scoring with a moonsault from the apron and heading back inside. Eddie rips on JR in Spanish with Jerry cracking up. Back in and Rob misses a kick but hits the second attempt for two. Rolling Thunder connects for two more and Perfect gets the same off a rollup with his feet on the ropes. Not that it matters as Rob kicks him again and the Five Star is good for the pin.
Eddie immediately gets in the ring and lays out RVD but misses the Frog Splash.
We get a Hogan Flashback to his first title win, just a short 18 years ago.
Trish Stratus/Jacqueline vs. Molly Holly/Jazz
Jackie grabs a headlock on Molly to start before hiptossing her down. Trish gets to come in and get a piece of Jazz, avoiding a charge into the corner and cranking on Jazz’s arm. Jazz gets in a shot to Trish’s bad back before slamming her down by the hair. Jackie and Molly come back in as everything breaks down. Trish is whipped HARD into the steps and Jazz hits Jackie with the belt, allowing Molly to pin her off a clothesline. That whip into the steps made up for the short match.
Arn Anderson doesn’t know if he can trust Flair after last night either.
Here’s Flair to talk about the Austin situation from last night. It was an accident and he totally respects Austin and doesn’t want a war. Austin comes out and with a lot of WHATs, says he doesn’t care how many titles Flair has won. Flair cuts him off and says it’s 16 before offering Austin a peace treaty: a match with Bradshaw as his partner against the NWO. Guess how Austin reacts.
Dudley Boys vs. Goldust/Booker T
Spike dives on Booker and Goldust during their entrances and we start fast. Bubba chops Goldust to start and sends him into the corner for some right hands to the ribs and a belly to back suplex. The middle rope backsplash misses and it’s Goldust with right hands of his own. Bubba comes right back with the Flip Flop and Fly and Spike comes in off the top with a double stomp for two.
Booker finally does something by kneeing Spike in the back, allowing Goldust to clothesline him to the floor. T keeps up his offense by sending Spike into the steps and then comes in to stomp in the corner. A big flapjack (Spike sells that so well) puts the little man down and it’s back to Goldie who gets rolled up for a quick two. Off to a sleeper from Goldust but Spike gets free and kicks him away, allowing the tag to Bubba.
The future Bully cleans house and shouts “COME ON YOU BIG BLACK MAN” at Booker before taking him down with a side slam. The fans want tables as Bubba drops a bunch of elbows, dances, and drops another elbow. Spike adds a top rope seated senton for two on Booker and Bubba wants some tables. Bubba goes to get one on his own, allowing Booker to hit a quick ax kick for the pin on Spike.
Rating: D+. Standard tag team formula here but it’s nothing interesting at all. With the Tag Titles over on Smackdown, these matches are really just filling time and not going anywhere. It also doesn’t help that Booker and Goldust are a funny team but still portrayed as heels. Well closer to heel than faces at least.
Post match Steven Richards comes out to try and steal the Hardcore Title but Spike makes the save and lets Bubba powerbomb Richards through the table.
Tommy Dreamer runs into Shawn Stasiak and Shawn isn’t pleased. Oh wait it’s PLANET Stasiak here, whatever that means. Regal comes up to laugh and winds up with a match against Stasiak.
William Regal vs. Shawn Stasiak
Brass knuckles, no bell, pin for Regal anyway in 12 seconds. Why the referee counted while literally watching Regal put the knuckles in his trunks is beyond me.
Bradshaw is out cold in the back and Flair thinks he knows whodunit.
Flair goes to find Hall and X-Pac and Kevin Nash walks out of a bathroom. Nash gets ejected and Big Show is added as Austin’s partner. I knew Big Show was joining that night when I saw this live.
Hogan comes out for his big celebration but just says he showed Vince and thanks the fans. Hulkamania is running wild and all that jazz you see.
Big Show/Steve Austin vs. NWO
X-Pac tries a spinwheel kick on Big Show and just bounces off. Hall comes in and is shoved down as well (JR: “Like a cheeseburger!”) so he wants Austin. Steve cleans house but gets caught by a knee lift from Hall followed by some right hands. Back to X-Pac and it’s spinebusters all around for the NWO. Big Show doesn’t seem interested in helping Austin deal with the double teaming.
A series of chops have X-Pac in trouble and Austin stomps a mudhole in both NWO members at the same time. Austin misses a charge and crotches himself on the ropes to give the NWO a few moments of control. A quick Thesz Press and middle finger elbow have Hall in trouble but X-Pac makes the save to stop any comeback.
Austin fights out of an abdominal stretch, only to walk into a clothesline for a few two counts. X-Pac comes back in but gets pounded in the face very quickly. Austin gets taken down by a spinwheel kick and it’s back to Hall for some running clotheslines in the corner. They trade sleepers until Austin fights out and tags Big Show, who immediately chokeslams Austin for the no contest.
Rating: D+. Boy it sure is convenient that Flair picked someone about to join the NWO. Of course Flair wasn’t in on it or anything (not being sarcastic) so the whole thing is a stretch, even by wrestling logic. The match sucked as you would expect it to with the NWO just not being an interesting concept at all.
Overall Rating: D+. It’s a more energetic show with less (though still existing) stupid moments. They had nowhere to go but up after last week so it’s not a huge compliment but I could at least tolerate this episode. Austin vs. Flair just isn’t doing it for me and I don’t think many people felt differently. There’s just not much to care about right now and it’s showing badly. Also: they managed to last a month without screwing up the Brand Extension. That’s better than I expected.
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More In Depth Thoughts on Raw – February 3, 2014
Last night’s show was polarizing to say the least. I’ve seen people calling it a classic to a decent show to the worst show in a long time. As usual I found myself right in the middle. We’ll start with the beginning of course.
First and foremost, the crowd was chanting for CM Punk throughout the night. Here’s the thing that people keep forgetting: Punk walked out on the company and the fans. In a word, he quit. Punk wasn’t being held back by the company, he wasn’t being misused and he wasn’t some kind of a martyr. He quit a job that he wasn’t happy at anymore and that’s all there was to it. The fans chanting for him comes off as more anti-WWE than pro-Punk, but that’s not what it should be.
This brings me to the Authority, who interrupted Orton while he was fighting the Punk chants. To clarify, HHH didn’t want Bryan to be champion but now that Orton has done everything HHH wants, HHH doesn’t want Orton as champion either and keeps setting up new hoops for Randy to jump through. Then he’s all pro-Bryan even though nothing seems to have changed between the two of them. Whether he’s acting like one or not, HHH is supposed to be a heel but isn’t acting like one at all. Last week was great when he was acting like a corporate jerk to Bryan but being the same to Orton is just confusing.
Next up was the further murdering of the midcard title scene. JBL mentioned that Ambrose never defends his US Title and Langston loses the fall. Big E. suddenly has nothing to do at all after spending weeks fighting off a challenger of the month for the title which was as basic of a story as you can get but it worked fine. Now both champions are making the titles look more and more worthless despite being strong to start. In other words, they’re the same as every midcard champion has been for years.
Shield vs. Wyatts is going to be amazing. I don’t think I need to go any further than that.
I don’t get the deal with Lawler interrupting Bad News Barrett. I don’t think they’re building to a match between the two of them, but Barrett needs ANYTHING to do right now and Jerry Lawler isn’t going to make things better for him. He was a good character when he was pointing out how bad stuff was, but saying stuff like “eating junk food is bad for you” isn’t going to get anyone to care about him.
Swagger losing is little more than another losing streak angle that they’ve used a dozen times before. Stop with the same ideas over and over again and come up with some actual stories for the split. Say Swagger is in love with a foreign chick or have Sin Cara help him so Swagger realizes Colter is wrong or something so people can actually RELATE TO HIM instead of just making him look pathetic and going for pity.
Betty White as the guest host is just…..there. She’ll make some people chuckle, she’ll interact with some comedy guys, she’ll make fun of low level heels, and then she’ll leave and will be mentioned once more in about a year or so and people will say “Oh yeah. She was on Raw once.” Seriously, that’s it.
Now on to the biggest disaster of the night: that cage match. This was just horrible for a few reasons. First and foremost, the Outlaws just aren’t any good in the ring and I have no idea why people would expect them to be. Do you remember the Outlaws in the 90s? They were the Honky Tonk Man of the division, winning by cheating in ways that no one had even invented yet and stealing the belts from every team that deserved them until the fans found their antics funny and turned them face as a result.
Now they’re beating a good team clean because people remember them as awesome and think that means they used to be good in the ring. It doesn’t help that they’re playing to the crowd and can do that as well as any team in history so the fans are always going to cheer for them, making Cody and Goldust, as in the team that has worked harder than anyone to get over, look like afterthoughts as we set up their singles feud (which no one wants to see) through ANOTHER losing streak angle.
In other words, we’re pushing nostalgia as faces (nothing wrong with that) at the expense of good faces (a lot wrong with that). Have the Outlaws doing this stuff to 3MB or the Real Americans or ANY heel team and the act is much more fun and logical than anything else. Instead it’s hurting Goldust and Cody to make a team with an average age of 47 years old and who are only out there on a nostalgia run. On top of that, their matches have SUCKED and Road Dogg nearly let Cody kill himself by not taking a step to the left to catch him. Oh and why can Road Dogg swear during the in-ring entrances but not the song opening?
Moving on to the next match we have Titus O’Neil as a monster heel which I really dig. The guy was the best thing not named the Usos about the dying days of the original NXT and I’d love to see him pushed as something that matters. The Clash of the Titus is a great power move and looks awesome when used.
During that same match we had Miz come out and complain that he couldn’t get on the show while a guy that makes internet championships and a guy who barks like a dog get TV time. Word on the street is that he’s being paired with Ziggler (check out the promo from the App on Smackdown to see more. We’ll be back to Dolph later) as two disgruntled performers who want to be higher on the card. Sounds like they’re parodying/mocking Punk to me but maybe not.
What I liked here though was Miz felt spontaneous. How many times have you seen a match end and we cut to the back where two people just happen to be standing in front of a camera so it can catch their conversation, which clearly hasn’t started until the match ended? That kind of thing drives me insane because it looks SO scripted. Miz coming out during a match made it feel like he had to get this off his chest and didn’t flag down a cameraman and demand time so it could be aired after the match. It happened right then and there, making it feel more realistic. I miss that so much anymore.
This brings us to the dance off with Summer Rae and Emma. They did this same bit in NXT which worked better there because of one simple reason: the fans know who Emma is. This is the same reason why Diamond Dallas Page never got over in the WWF. See, down in NXT it’s a much more close knit atmosphere. The fans feel like they’re a part of the show and they’ve embraced Emma and want their people to be the little engines that can and show they can be just as good as WWE (same as ECW when you think about it).
Well WWE fans have no idea who Emma is for the most part. She’s just some chick that dances in the crowd and holds up a sign that says EMMALUTION while Cole says “Oh she’s from NXT”, which a lot of fans have no idea exists. The people didn’t care about Emma because they have no reason to care about Emma. She’s just some chick that has been at Raw for the last month and apparently dances a lot. Why should I care about that unless I watch NXT?
Next up was Sheamus not squashing Curtis Axel in seven minutes. Sheamus is in the world title match at the next PPV and took seven minutes to beat a jobber to the stars. That’s not acceptable.
Batista was up next but thankfully was cut off by Alberto Del Rio. Why are these two fighting? Because Del Rio thinks Batista doesn’t deserve that title shot. Not that Del Rio wants the title shot for himself or anything, because that would just be a stupid thing to add to the match. It might actually intrigue people or something and we wouldn’t want that.
The Wyatts squashed the dancers and Ziggler to further make my head hurt. The announcers acknowledged the promo Ziggler cut and then he goes out and gets destroyed in five minutes like nothing has changed at all. This is what I’m talking about when I say the writers don’t remember anything that happened five minutes ago. Have Dolph be frustrated or try extra hard or SOMETHING, but don’t have him say one thing then do another and expect us to care about him. Or maybe you could, I don’t know, SHOW US THE PROMO instead of just hyping the App. You show us stuff from it every week but not that?
There was a Divas match between Naomi and Aksana which was just embarrassing. Near the end Naomi caught Aksana in a head scissors position out of the corner but didn’t take Aksana down. Instead she just wiggled her hips in the air and let go. From a kayfabe perspective, what does that accomplish? How does that help Naomi win the match? It makes her look like she doesn’t take this seriously, so why should I take her as a serious challenger to AJ?
Last up was the main event, which made things even worse. First of all let me clarify: the match was very entertaining, but the story made no sense. Kane interfered at the end, presumably sent by the Authority (unless the Authority complains about him interfering later, we have no reason to assume they disagree with what he did) to help Orton win. Why would they come out and help Orton win if they seemingly had no problem with Bryan beating him?
Again, the Authority tries to play both sides without ever playing heels ON CAMERA. Their interference is implied here, but whenever they’re on screen they’ll be talking down to Orton like he’s a child (imagine someone saying that to Rock, Austin, Hogan, or any other champion. The reaction alone would turn them face but instead Orton just nods and accepts it because the Authority is all powerful and cannot be questioned) and say Orton has to regain their trust before starting this cycle all over again.
To put it into one sentence, the Authority storyline makes no sense. What do they want? Orton as face of the company? Fine, but if they want him as face of the company, why constantly move the goal posts on him? You do that to people you hate, not people you want to be the top guy. Vince did it to Austin and Bischoff did it to WCW when he ran the NWO. And why is HHH backing Bryan after spending months telling him he was worthless? The Authority is Johnny Ace without the goofy charisma and that’s not a good thing at all.
A few other notes here:
Were there any backstage segments last night? There weren’t a ton on Smackdown that I remember and now there were none last night. I rather like that idea as there are usually WAY too many and they drag the show down. One or two is fine but keep those things quick and have them mean something.
No Cena due to the eye injury which is all you can ask for. He ran in for the post show beatdown of Orton and Kane but I’d assume his eye was too messed up to be seen on camera. That’s the right idea as you need him healthy for Elimination Chamber and Wrestlemania, not a Raw in early February.
Overall I thought Raw was good last night, but this Authority nonsense has been going on WAY too long. The Authority is fine as a heel idea, but have them be HEELS, not people who treat everyone like garbage. It makes your heels look weak and keeps fans from caring about seeing them get beaten up. A double standard is a heel tactic, but when you use it on another heel, it just confuses people.
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Smackdown – January 24, 2014: The Show They’ve Needed For Weeks
Smackdown Date: January 24, 2014
Location: Van Andel Arena, Grand Rapids, Michigan
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Josh Matthews
It’s the go home show for the Rumble and not a lot changed this past week on Raw. Batista is back and apparently people are still interested in him, meaning I can’t imagine anyone else taking the Rumble at this point. Since it’s Friday, I’m guessing we’ll be getting a big tag match to close out the week. Let’s get to it.
We open with an in memory of George Scott graphic. Always nice to see.
Opening sequence actually opens us up.
The main event tonight is a ten man tag with the Usos/Rhodes Brothers/Langston vs. Shield/New Age Outlaws.
The Real Americans are in the ring to start with Colter ranting about Big Show attacking him. Unfortunately his voice is better now and not as awesome as it was last week. We get a clip from two weeks ago of Big Show knocking Colter out cold which set up tonight’s tag match with Show/Mysterio vs. the Real Americans. Colter doesn’t think Mysterio is his real name either. Speaking of names, Colter comes up with various names for Big Show/Mysterio: the Border Jumping Buddies, Tacos Supremos Hold the Salsa and El Gordito and the Jumping Bean.
Real Americans vs. Big Show/Rey Mysterio
Swagger charges at Big Show to start and is easily thrown down. Some forearms to the back send Jack running to the corner for a tag off to Cesaro who is thrown around as well. Show puts his foot on Cesaro’s face and lifts him up by the arm for a kind of reverse curb stomp. Cesaro is tossed out to the floor and Mysterio takes him down with a seated senton off the apron. A kick to the face drops Swagger and we take a break. Back with Cesaro holding a chinlock on Mysterio until Rey fights up and gets two off a rollup.
Antonio doesn’t like being covered so he Swings Mysterio around for a few seconds. Off to Swagger who counters catches a middle rope hurricanrana in midair, only to be sent face first into the middle buckle. Cesaro comes back in but the Real Americans get caught in a double DDT, allowing for the hot tag to Big Show. The monster hiptosses both Americans with ONE ARM. That’s very cool looking, even if both of them helped with the throw. A 619 sets up the WMD and the splash off Big Show’s shoulders for the pin on Cesaro at 8:52.
Rating: C-. The match was formula stuff but it made Big Show look good going into the showdown on Sunday. Mysterio was just kind of there but it’s good to see him in the ring instead of on the injured list all the time. He’s nowhere near what he used to be but at his age and with his knees held together with glue, it’s about as good as you can expect.
Heyman comes out post match and tells Big Show to enjoy his health while he can, because there will be nothing to celebrate on Sunday. Big Show did throw Lesnar around on Monday, but it’s only made Brock want to hurt Big Show even more. Lesnar will be WWE Champion after dealing with the giant.
The Miz vs. Brodus Clay
Before the match, Wade Barrett’s podium rises up and he informs us that while the ten man tag will be awesome tonight, this is going to be one of the worst matches in WWE history. He starts the MIZ IS AWFUL chant and bangs his gavel in place of the five clap sequence. That’s really not something you should say on your programming, even for a Miz match. Miz jumps Barrett while the crowd takes up the chant. Barrett keeps taking jabs at the match, calling it one of the worst things he’s ever seen and thinking the crowd wants milk and cookies. He asks Clay to dance and the distraction lets Miz hits a DDT for the pin at 1:22.
Miz goes up to the podium but Barrett laughs down at him.
Rumble By The Numbers promo.
AJ Lee vs. Cameron
Non-title. AJ quickly takes her down but charges into a boot in the corner. Cameron stops to dance a bit before dropping a leg for two. A baseball slide puts Naomi down but she walks into a Shining Wizard for the pin at 1:32.
Post match Tamina goes after Cameron but Naomi makes the save and lays AJ out with a Bubba Bomb.
Raw ReBound shows Batista returning and laying out Alberto.
Shield says twenty seven other men are going to enter the Royal Rumble as hungry dogs. Those other people can pretend they’re going to have a chance but it’s just wishful thinking. All of the other men are casualties and Reigns says he’ll win.
Ryback/Curtis Axel vs. Los Matadores
JBL thinks El Torito is a descendant of Mr. Ed. Ryback slams Diego down for an early two before Axel comes in to ram Diego into the corner. A nice running dropkick keeps Diego in trouble, causing Josh to say Torito has a look of concern on his face. JBL: “HE’S A BULL!” Back to Ryback who toys with Diego even more before jumping off the middle rope into a pair of boots. Axel can’t break up the hot tag attempt and Fernando comes in to clean house. A double arm DDT gets two on Axel but Ryback makes the save and throws Diego to the floor. Fernando throws Ryback out, only to get rolled up by Axel for the pin at 3:20.
Rating: C-. I believe that’s Los Matadores’ first loss, but thankfully they stayed undefeated for so long because they haven’t been on TV all that much. They’re just not an interesting team at all and I can’t picture them lasting much longer without being relegated to Superstars. It’s nice to see Axel get a pin as well.
Post match Torito IMMEDIATELY sends Axel to the floor and dives on him Ryback so the fans won’t have their spirits crushed or something.
Here’s Punk to address Kane making him #1 in the Rumble. We get a clip of Punk calling Kane a suck up last week, earning himself a chokeslam as well as a clip from Raw of Kane apologizing and getting knocked to the floor. Punk talks about the Authority’s lapdog making him the #1 entrant in the Rumble to stack the deck against him. That’s what he expected from HHH and Stephanie but it just motivates him to become WWE Champion again.
He’s done a lot in the WWE but the one glaring omission is winning the Rumble. Now that he’s #1 it might be the toughest match he’s ever competed in, but that’s what you have to expect if you call yourself the best in the world. On Sunday he’s going to punch the lion in the face and do everything he can to be the last man standing.
This brings out Kane who says that Punk has a .000000186 chance of winning, or one in five hundred million. Maybe his odds are a little better because he’s best in the world though. Punk says never tell him the odds and that it’s sad to see what has happened to the Devil’s Favorite Demon. Is he the Authority’s Favorite Statistician now? Punk isn’t worried because the #1 entrant has won before and he’s been the best since day one.
We recap Bryan vs. Wyatt who have a match on Sunday. I’m actually looking forward to that showdown.
Wyatt Family vs. Prime Time Players
Harper pounds on Young in the corner to start before kicking his head off with a big boot. Off to Rowan who takes off the mask to reveal that hideous face of his. Harper loads up a whip to send Rowan into the corner but instead Rowan whips Harper into the other corner to take out Titus. The discus lariat ends Young at 1:05 in a total squash.
Darren gets Sister Abigail post match and Bray says he’ll change the world. You can hear some Bo Dallas in his voice as he speaks, only to have Daniel Bryan cut him off. Bryan says listen to these people because they don’t fear fate, the reapers or burning with the saints. On Sunday, Daniel will no longer be trapped in Bray’s madness, but Bray will be trapped in Daniel’s prison. He’ll find out who the real monster is as the fans chant YES.
Fandango vs. Kofi Kingston
During the entrances we get an inset interview from Kofi who says that he’s done some amazing things to stay in the Rumble, but this Sunday he’s going to perform his greatest feat of all: win the Royal Rumble and go on to headline Wrestlemania. Simple, to the point, ties into his character’s history. I’d love these sort of promos to be more common.
A shoulder block puts Kofi down and Fandango gyrates a bit. Back up and Kofi throws him over the top and out to the corner (nice touch) and we get an Emma sighting. Fandango rams him into the apron to take over and something resembling a Pele gets two on Kofi back inside. Kingston pops back up and sends Fandango into the ropes for Trouble in Paradise and the pin at 2:57. Just a match.
Rumble By The Numbers Part II.
Long recap of Cena vs. Orton.
New Age Outlaws/Shield vs. Usos/Cody Rhodes/Goldust/Big E. Langston
Jimmy and Rollins get things going with Seth stomping him down in the corner. They run the ropes a few times until Jimmy stops to dance and grab an arm. Ambrose comes in and has his arm worked on for a few minutes before a right hand gets two. Langston gets the tag and charges into Ambrose’s ribs in the corner before hitting a series of backbreakers to keep Dean in trouble. Dean gets a boot up in the corner and tags in Reigns for a big running clothesline.
Big E. gets triple teamed for a bit but just powers Shield off and makes the tag to Cody. Things speed up a bit with a springboard missile dropkick and the Disaster Kick but Gunn comes in for a shot from behind to take over. We take a break and come back with Cody sunset flipping Rollins for two before Seth takes him down again. Gunn gets the tag and drops a knee for two. The heels continue their tagging with Reigns hammering on his back and holding him in place with a cravate.
Dean comes back in with a spinning belly to back suplex for two but Cody fights out of a belly to back superplex and hits the moonsault press on the now legal Reigns. Goldust gets the hot tag to clean house and even hits a top rope hurricanrana to blow everyone’s minds. A powerslam gets two on Road Dogg and here’s Langston for the Big Ending on Rollins but Roman makes the save with a spear.
Jey superkicks Reigns down and Jimmy adds the Superfly Splash but throws Dean to the floor instead of covering. The Usos load up the stereo dives but Billy cuts off Jimmy and takes him down with the Fameasser. Cody comes back in for the Disaster Kick but Roadie takes him down with the pumphandle slam, only to have Goldust grab a rollup but Shield makes a save as the match is thrown out at 13:20.
Rating: B-. This was an old formula tag match but the very hot finish helped it out a lot. I’m a sucker for the parade of finishers to set up the ending and when you have ten guys it’s quite a long parade. The DQ ending is a smart move here as you don’t want anyone doing a job going into the Rumble or a title match.
Everybody gets in and we get the traditional huge brawl with everyone else announced for the Rumble (other than Batista of course) coming to join in the fight. CM Punk comes out to a BIG pop to get in on the brawl as the show goes off the air.
Overall Rating: B. This is the show they’ve been needing to have since the beginning of the year. Tonight was about the Rumble match itself with people wanting to go to Wrestlemania, which is the whole point of the show this Sunday. The other matches got some nice build as well and for once I’m excited for the entire show. Tonight wasn’t supposed to be about good matches or the in ring action and it wasn’t the focus. Good episode tonight which did its job.
Results
Big Show/Rey Mysterio b. Real Americans – Splash to Cesaro
The Miz b. Wade Barrett – DDT
AJ Lee b. Cameron – Shining Wizard
Curtis Axel/Ryback b. Los Matadores – Rollup to Fernando
Wyatt Family b. Prime Time Players – Discus lariat to Young
Kofi Kingston b. Fandango – Trouble in Paradise
Usos/Big E. Langston/Cody Rhodes/Goldust b. Shield/New Age Outlaws via DQ when all three members of Shield came into the ring
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Smackdown – January 17, 2014: Punk’s Career Suicide
Smackdown Date: January 17, 2014
Location: DCU Center, Worcester, Massachusetts
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, The Miz
The main story coming off Raw is of course Daniel Bryan turning on the Wyatts to a huge reaction. I thought Bryan was going to leave them eventually though this was faster than I was expecting. Other than that, the road to the Rumble started to pick up on Monday as people names were added to the match to make it give it far more star power than it had before. Tonight we should get a few more names added to the match as the show is in nine days. Let’s get to it.
New Age Outlaws vs. Cody Rhodes/Goldust
Non-title. Cole recaps the turn on Raw and says he doesn’t get the suprise at the Outlaws’ treachery. For once, he’s absolutely right. Roadie does the intro and the PG issues get a bit muddled. Why can’t Road Dogg swear on the way to the ring but can when he’s introducing Billy? Goldust and Road Dogg get things going with Roadie suckering Goldust in for some shaky punches. Goldust takes him into the corner for some right hands of his own followed by a back elbow to the jaw.
Billy comes in but is backdropped out to the floor, allowing for a tag off to Cody. Why Goldust is exhausted already is beyond me as he was barely touched. He powerslams Roadie down and tags in his brother to a nice pop. Cody cleans house on Gunn but has to deal with Road Dogg as well. A double springboard missile dropkick puts the Outlaws down for two as everything breaks down.
Goldust and Roadie go to the floor as Cody avoids the Fameasser but has Cross Rhodes countered as well. Billy gets two off a tilt-a-whirl slam but still can’t hit the Fameasser. There’s the Disaster Kick….and Vickie Guerrero interrupts. She reminds us that the Royal Rumble is every man for himself, including brother vs. brother. The distraction lets Billy roll up Cody for the pin at 4:43.
Rating: C-. Goldust’s cardiovascular issues aside, this wasn’t bad until the stupid ending. It’s bad enough that I have to put up with the stupid corporate stuff on Impact but now I have to put up with it on Smackdown as well. I’d love to sit down with the creative team and show them some old matches so they can see other ways heels can cheat to win a match. What do I have to do to get a cover with feet on the ropes around here?
CM Punk says he’s going to call out all three members of the Shield. Literally that’s that entire interview.
Here’s Paul Heyman to brag about how amazing Lesnar is, focusing on destroying Mark Henry. After that though, Lesnar was attacked by Big Show who implied he could take Brock out. Heyman admits that Big Show is intimidating but he’ll fall to Lesnar at the Royal Rumble.
Heyman talks about going through wars with Lesnar at his side, meaning he has to fear no evil. Big Show may hurt Zeb Colter, but he won’t won’t hurt Heyman to get to Brock, including on Raw when Lesnar appears live. Big Show comes out and Heyman is in the crowd before Big Show is all the way in the ring. Big Show shows us a clip from Raw where Show threw Lesnar around, followed by Big Show promising to knock Lesnar out.
Alberto Del Rio vs. Rey Mysterio
Before the match Rey talks about Del Rio being afraid of Batista, sending Del Rio into a frenzy to start. He wraps Rey’s arm around the rope but gets sent outside for Rey’s sliding splash under the bottom rope. Back in and Del Rio crotches Rey down to tie him up in the Tree of Woe for a kick to the ribs as we take a break. Back with Rey hitting a top rope seated senton, only to run into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two.
JBL talks about George Washington for some reason as Rey rolls through a sunset flip and kicks Del Rio in the head for two. The corner enziguri brings Rey down from the top again but Del Rio can’t pin him. Rey comes back with a tornado DDT for two of his own but Del Rio hits the Codebreaker on the arm. The armbreaker is countered into the 619 but the top rope splash hits knees. Del Rio loads up the low superkicks but Rey counters into a rollup for the pin at 8:25.
Rating: C+. This took time to get going but the last few minutes were good back and forth stuff. It was a nice change of pace for Del Rio to not be on the arm the entire way through, even though he stayed on the arm as is his custom. This was way better than their basic match on Raw, which is nice as they have chemistry together.
Post match Del Rio jumps Mysterio and puts him in the cross armbreaker.
Naomi vs. Tamina Snuka
Fallout from Tamina hitting AJ with the Rear View on Monday. Emma is in the audience doing her dance again. Miz reads a statement from Maryse congraulating AJ on breaking her record for longest reigning Divas Champion. Naomi jumps Tamina to start but is easily knocked down and backdropped for two. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Naomi comes back with some kicks to the ribs and a modified bulldog. A Bubba Bomb puts Tamina down but the referee is looking at Cameron and AJ. Tamina uses the distraction to kick Tamina in the head and hit a split legged moonsault for the pin at 2:35.
Video on Mae Young. These are always saddening yet cool at the same time. If there has ever been a woman more willing to do anything to entertain a crowd, I’d love to see her.
Video of Bryan turning on Bray Wyatt Monday to a huge reaction.
Here’s Bray without his hat in person with something to say. I love that you can’t see Harper and Rowan until the lights come on even though they’re right next to Bray. He talks about wanting to be powerful like his father as a child. Bray did his best to appease him and be just like him but it was never good enough. His father was never there for him and never entrusted Bray with his kingdom.
Instead he cast Bray out amidst the sheep, forcing him to walk the earth alone. But then Sister Abigail saved him by singing the sweetest songs Bray had ever heard. Bray became obsessed with her beauty and power, but Abigail told him that Bray would be betrayed again on his path to righteousness.
Monday was the moment that Abigail was talking about, when Bray knew he had to sacrifice himself to be resurrected into the creature he was born to be. You can’t hurt him because he’s already dead and he does not bleed like we do. Daniel Bryan was given a chance to walk with the reapers but now he will be forced to walk with the saints. More creepy stuff here as Bray’s backstory is slowly filled in.
Punk is going to call out the New Age Outlaws in addition to the Shield. If that’s career suicide, consider it a gift to the Authority.
Big E. Langston vs. Fandango
Non-title as well. Langston hits a quick backbreaker to start and Fandango bails to the floor. Back in and the dancer pounds away with right hands but Langston runs him over with a shoulder block. Fandango avoids a charge in the corner and kicks Big E. to the outside before pulling Langston’s shoulder into the post. Langston is thrown back inside and we hit the armbar for a few moments as the match slows down. Big E. easily powers Fandango to the floor as JBL and Miz argue over who was a bigger star. Fandango is suplexed down, setting up the Warrior Splash, the running Vader Attack and the Big Ending for the win at 4:16.
Rating: D+. Pretty boring match here but Big E. getting clean wins on TV is the right idea for him. Fandango got in some offense here instead of just being the sandwich that Langston had for supper tonight. He’s not going to be a big deal for a long time but it’s better than getting squashed.
Shield thinks it’s the other 27 people in the Rumble that need to be worried instead of the three of them. Ambrose says he wouldn’t throw Rollins out but Rollins says Dean couldn’t do it anyway. Rollins would throw Ambrose out, leading to an argument between the two. Reigns cuts them off and says he’ll throw both of them out and go to Wrestlemania, but they’ll still be a united Shield.
Ultimate Warrior Hall of Fame video.
Video on the WWE Network.
We look back at Kofi shocking Orton on Monday, leading to Orton attacking Cena’s dad. HHH has promised to deal with Orton internally.
Real Americans vs. Usos
Colter is in a wheelchair to sell the attack on Monday. Cesaro and Swagger do the hand over the heart but Zeb rolls down the ramp without them holding him in place. Before the match, Colter, with his voice muffled by the neck brace, says he wants Lesnar to destroy Big Show at the Rumble before asking the fans do say WE THE PEOPLE. Jimmy has bad ribs and Jey has a bad shoulder due to the cage match on Monday.
Swagger throws Jey around to start and the injuries take their tole immediately. Off to Cesaro for some shoulders to the ribs before Swagger comes back in with knees to the midsection as well. Jack launches Cesaro into a splash in the corner and Antonio follows up with rights and lefts to the ribs as we take a break. Back with Jimmy in the Cesaro Swing which still gets a nice reaction, months after it was at its peak. Jimmy fights off the dizziness and kicks the Real Americans in the face and stomach, finally allowing the hot tag to Jey. The running Umaga attack gets two on Jack and a Samoan drop gets the same.
Cesaro is knocked to the floor but Jey gets caught in the Patriot Lock. Jimmy superkicks Swagger for the save before chasing Antonio to the floor. Cesaro hides behind Colter’s wheelchair before missing a charge into the barricade. Jimmy shoves the wheelchair into Cesaro for a big crash as Jey hits an electric chair drop on Swagger. Jey drops the Superfly Splash for the pin at 9:16.
Rating: C. The idea was fine here with the Real Americans working on the injuries but we’ve seen these teams fight so many times now that it’s hard to care anymore. Colter is so good on the mic but he needs someone better than these two losers to get anywhere. Swagger is in such desperate need of repackaging it’s unreal.
Here’s Punk for the big call out to end the show. Punk says he’s out here because he’s not a coward like the Authority. He doesn’t need an army of people to fight his battles for him, but maybe he’s insane. Yeah he might get slaughtered by Shield and the Outlaws so why not also call out the In Laws, the Ultimate Warrior, the Dingo Warrior and the Road Warriors?
The thing is, people listen to him when he talks and that’s real power. Punk talks about HHH abusing his power to satisfy his own agenda while hiding behind his wife. Shield’s music cuts Punk off before he can get too far into that though, which is a nice touch if it was intentional. The Outlaws come out before Shield can get to the ring and Punk is surrounded.
Punk holds up the microphone as his weapon but Kane’s pyro goes off and he orders everyone to stand down. He gets in the ring and says the Authority doesn’t want it this way. Punk’s anger is displaced and his paranoia is getting the better of him. The Authority wants Punk to main event Wrestlemania, which is why they entered him in the Rumble.
In fact, Kane’s new top directive is to treat Punk with the respect that he deserves. Punk looks confused as Kane leaves so he asks if he has Kane’s word. Kane nods but Punk doesn’t buy it because Kane is a seven foot suck up. Kane says get him before catching a distracted Punk in a chokeslam to end the show.
Overall Rating: C-. This is another show that didn’t need to exist. The wrestling wasn’t bad, the promos weren’t bad and the ending advanced very little, but the show isn’t actively bad. That’s the best way to describe Smackdown as a whole: not much happens, but it’s better than having your face carved up with a branding iron. In a way though that’s the worst kind of show as it’s not bad enough to make fun of but it’s not good enough to be worth seeing either. In a word, Smackdown exists and that’s all there is to say about it.
Results
New Age Outlaws b. Cody Rhodes/Goldust – Rollup to Rhodes
Rey Mysterio b. Alberto Del Rio – Rollup
Naomi b. Tamina Snuka – Split legged moonsault
Big E. Langston b. Fandango – Big Ending
Usos b. Real Americans – Superfly Splash to Swagger
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Royal Rumble Count-Up – 1996: Shawn’s Time Is Coming And There’s No Stopping It
Royal Rumble 1996 Date: January 21, 1996
Location: Selland Arena, Fresno, California
Attendance: 9,600
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Mr. Perfect
We’re in the Monday Night Wars era now and it’s all about Shawn at the moment. He’s back from injury and in the Rumble tonight, looking to become the second person ever to win back to back Rumbles. Other than that we’ve got Bret vs. Undertaker which is another of those matches that can be hit or miss. It’s hard to say what we’ll get here….well not really because I’ve seen this show a bunch of times. Let’s get to it.
We open with Sunny in a bathtub, saying this show is graphic and view discretion is advised.
The opening video is about how the champion is defined by Hart, as in Bret Hart. Tonight though he’s against a force who has no heart, in the form of Undertaker. The IC Title match (Ramon vs. Goldust) and the Rumble are talked about as well.
Jeff Jarrett vs. Ahmed Johnson
Last month at IYH, Jarrett hit Johnson with a gold record to set this up. Johnson is basically Ezekiel Jackson with a bit of skill and charisma. Jarrett immediately bails to the floor to hide. Back in he tries a hiptoss and Ahmed is like boy are you stupid or something? A headlock is easily countered by a throw from Johnson and a clothesline takes Jarrett down. There’s a World’s Strongest Slam for two for Ahmed and things slow down again. Johnson misses a clothesline by a mile but Jeff sells it anyway of course.
A cross body misses as well but this time Johnson goes flying over the top, getting his hand caught in the ropes on the way down. A HARD whip into the steps puts Johnson down and we head back in. Ahmed starts no selling stuff and catches a dive in a bearhug. That goes nowhere so Johnson sends him to the floor and hits a big dive. Back in and Ahmed misses a FREAKING SWANTON (remember that he weighs like 280) and there’s the Figure Four from Jarrett. Johnson powers out of it twice, so Jarrett cracks him with the guitar off the top for the LAME DQ.
Rating: C-. I was always an Ahmed fan so this was an easy pass for me. The image of the Swanton looked great if nothing else, which is more than enough to give this a pass. Jarrett was such a mess at this point and never went anywhere in the WWF. The ending completely sucked though and it really brought things down.
BUY OUR STUFF!
Diesel isn’t worried about the Rumble tonight and doesn’t think it’s Vader Time. He doesn’t care who he faces at Mania, but he isn’t happy with Taker being the #1 contender.
Tag Titles: Smoking Gunns vs. Bodydonnas
The Bodydonnas are Skip (Chris Candido) and Zip (Tom Prichard with a BIG haircut). They have Sunny with them and my goodness is she smoking (no pun intended) here. The Guns are defending. Skip and Billy start things off with Skip taking over with a headscissors. Just like Ahmed earlier, Billy misses a charge against the ropes and crashes to the outside. Both Gunns get double teamed until Bart ducks out of the way, allowing a charging Billy to dive onto both Donnas on the floor.
Things settle down a bit and it’s back to Billy vs. Skip with the champion in control. Sunny hits on Bart until it’s Bart vs. Zip. A gorilla press puts Zip down but he makes a blind tag, allowing Skip to take over. The champions are fine with the double teaming stuff too, and take over on Skip very easily. Sunny gets on the apron and is knocked off just as quickly, giving us a nice upskirt shot in the process.
Now we get to the important part of the match as Billy goes to check on Sunny, allowing the Donnas to pound away on Bart. Skip hits a nice plancha onto Billy before suplexing Zip onto Billy for two back inside. Billy gets to play Ricky Morton for awhile, being put in a chinlock by Zip. This goes on for awhile until we get a sloppy spot where the Donnas collide and Skip rams heads will Billy. This would work a bit better if Billy wasn’t about eight inches taller than Candido.
Hot tag brings in Bart and everything breaks down with the champions taking over. The Sidewinder (side slam/guillotine legdrop combo) crushes Zip but Sunny’s distraction lets Skip break things up and take Zip’s place. Ignore the fact that one has the straps of his singlet up and the other doesn’t, and the fact that they look as different as Demolition did. In an ending the Expresses used back in the 80s, the Donnas load up a double suplex on Bart, but Billy spears Skip down, causing Bart to fall on Zip for the pin to retain.
Rating: C-. Tag wrestling at this time was really weak with very few solid teams anywhere to be found. The Gunns were ok at best and the Donnas were only popular because of Sunny. Billy would turn heel relatively soon and would eventually join up with Road Dogg to form the New Age Outlaws and turn the division completely upside down. Nothing much to see here but it certainly wasn’t terrible.
We get some of the Billionaire Ted skits, which were unfunny shots at Ted Turner. Not his wrestling company directly, but Turner himself. I’m still not sure why they decided to do these but no one liked them and they came off as mean instead of funny or witty. Note Vince Russo as one of the executives in the board room skit.
We recap Razor vs. Goldust, where Goldust is hitting on Razor to mess with his mind before the match tonight. To say Goldust’s character got them in hot water around this point is a huge understatement.
Intercontinental Title: Razor Ramon vs. Goldust
The yet to be named Marlena debuts with Goldie here. Razor is defending as is his custom. Feeling out process to start with Goldust playing his usual mind games, which means rubbing himself. Razor cranks on the arm before grabbing a headlock which goes nowhere. Goldust goes behind Razor and molests him a bit to psych Razor out even more. They head to the corner with Razor having his head rubbed a bit, ticking him off even more.
Razor goes for the arm so Goldust slaps him in the face. Perfect keeps making sex jokes as Razor slaps Goldust right back in the face. He spanks Goldie once as well, but the painted dude likes it. We head to the floor where Goldust hides behind Marlena as the stalling continues. Back in and Razor tries three straight headscissors before punching Goldust to the floor with a single shot.
We get more stalling which is called playing mind games before Ramon clotheslines him right back to the outside. Razor has to move Marlena out of the way, allowing Goldust to FINALLY do something, taking over with a shot to the ribs. Back in and Goldust focuses on the ribs, but not too much because that might mean we have some speed to this match. A bulldog gets two for Goldust as does a slingshot belly to back suplex.
Off to a sleeper, which Perfect suggests Goldust could use to do “whatever he wants” to Goldust. Much like everything else in the match, this goes on way too long until Razor fights up and kicks Goldust low. He’s so spent though that Goldie gets a two count, causing Razor to start his comeback. He fires off his usual punches and the chokeslam gets two. A belly to back superplex hit but Marlent distracts the referee, allowing the 1-2-3 Kid to come in and kick Razor’s head off. Goldust gets the easy pin and the title.
Rating: D-. Sweet freaking goodness this was dull. It went on WAY too long and had a bad ending on top of that, plus the stupid “psychology” from Goldust which wound up being more unpleasant than interesting or intelligent. Goldust would get WAY better when he became more of a comedy/parody character rather than this freaky dude that he was to start his WWF run. The matches got a lot better as a result too.
Wrestlemania 12 is coming.
We get the usual promos for the Rumble, but we start with a statement from Shawn’s doctor who says he’s back and healthy. Thankfully this is kept VERY short and he’s not dull. We hear from Owen, Roberts, Lawler, Horowitz, Vader and Shawn. Shawn would be the most obvious winner ever in the Rumble since…..well since last year when he was the absolutely obvious pick to win.
Vince and Perfect talk about the Rumble a bit.
Royal Rumble
HHH is #1, having lost a match on the Free for All to Duke Droese, who won the right to be #30. Henry Godwinn is #2 and I believe he’s feuding with HHH at this point. Helmsley pounds away in the corner to start but gets backdropped down very quickly. The intervals are back to two minutes this year thank goodness. Trips pokes him in the eye and chokes away until Bob Backlund is #3. Backlund saves HHH before pounding away on him. These wide shots are showing how nearly empty the upper deck is.
Jerry Lawler is #4 as HHH hits the jumping knee to the face of Godwinn. The fans chant Burger King and you know Lawler isn’t going to pass up a chance to rile up a crowd. He goes to get the slop bucket that Godwinn brought with him, but Henry clears the ring and gets the bucket, throwing it over the top onto Lawler and some of Backlund. Bob Holly is #5 and things slow down a bit until HHH erupts on Godwinn for some reason.
We get some slow paced elimination teases until Mabel is #6. Still nothing happens so here’s Jake Roberts at #7 to an ERUPTION. No one is eliminated yet. Jake throws in the snake and everyone but Lawler can get to the floor. After nearly giving him a heart attack with the snake, Lawler disappears for a good while as he hides under the ring. Mabel gets tied up in the ropes and pounded on for a bit until Dory Funk Jr. is #8.
The DDT is countered by HHH as we hear about a friendship between Terry Funk and Bruce Willis of all people. Backlund and Funk go at it because they’re both old and I doubt Dory knows most of the other people in the ring. Lawler is seen hiding under the ring. Yokozuna is #9 as there are WAY too many people in the match at the moment. Backlund puts Dory in the chickenwing and is eliminated by Yoko for a prize. Yoko crushes Godwinn in the corner but Mabel splashes Yoko, killing Henry in the process.
The 1-2-3 Kid is #10 but Razor charges down the aisle to chase him away (not eliminated). Officials get Razor off the Kid but it takes Mabel beating Razor down to stop the chases. It amazes me that Razor wasn’t in more Rumbles. Come to think of it….he was NEVER in a Rumble. Omori, a Japanese star that doesn’t mean much yet, is #11. At the moment we’ve got HHH, Godwinn, Lawler (under the ring), Holly, Mabel, Roberts, Funk, Yoko, the Kid and Omori in the match.
Wait where is Godwinn? I guess he went out off camera. Yoko and Mabel double team Omori until Jake pounds away on Yoko to the loudest reactions of the match so far. Funk hits a double underhook suplex on the Kid as Savio Vega is #12. He spinwheel kicks Mabel down, allowing Yoko to dump the reigning King (Mabel if you’re lucky enough to not remember that gimmick). Omori goes out thanks to Roberts and things slow down again.
Vader debuts at #13 and lumbers around while not doing much. He picks Bob Holly of all people to beat on first as Vega eliminates Dory. Vader pulls Savio back in from the apron for no apparent reason other than he wants to beat on him some more. Doug Gilbert from Memphis is #14 and HHH goes right after him for no apparent reason. Vader and Yoko slug it out to a big reaction but Vader has to stop to clothesline Roberts out.
The camera work in this is really bad as they keep looking at corners of the ring instead of the full thing, making us miss a lot of stuff. Savio pounds on Vader until one of the Squat Team members (BIG fat guys who are there because they’re fat and look alike) is #15. Vader sloppily throws Gilbert out and does the same to the Squat Team dude. Yoko and Vader slug it out again and people respond again.
The other member of the Squat Team is #16 but they both get in to double team Vader. The Mastodon (Vader) punches their faces in as only Vader can do before knocking them both to the floor. Owen Hart is #17 and everyone but Yoko is on one side of the ring for some reason. Vader and Yoko double team Savio who doesn’t seem interested in selling at all. A pair of splashes in the corner crushes him, as do a regular splash and the big leg from Yoko.
Shawn is #17 to a decent pop but significantly smaller than Jake’s. Vader throws out Savio as Shawn goes after HHH and the Kid. Vader and Yoko slug it out a bit before slugging it out a lot. They fight against the ropes, so Shawn gets a running start and dumps them BOTH AT ONCE. Now THAT wakes up the crowd. If that’s not enough, Shawn gorilla presses (!) the Kid to the floor as the ring is suddenly very thin. Hakushi is #19 as the big guys fight on the floor.
Scratch the floor part as Vader gets back in and cleans house, but none of the eliminations count because he’s not legal. Once he’s finally taken away, we’ve got Shawn, HHH, Holly, Hart, Hakushi and Lawler underneath the ring. Tatanka is #20 as Shawn thrown Jim Cornette, Vader’s manager, out. Hakushi hits a Muta elbow on Hart in the corner as HHH of course goes after Shawn.
Michaels teases a bunch of eliminations to try to make us think he’s not winning. Owen dumps Hakushi as Aldo Montoya (Justin Credible with a jock strap over his face) is #21. Shawn gets sent through the ropes to the floor, where he pulls Lawler out and sends him back into the ring. Tatanka puts out Montoya as Shawn puts out Lawler.
Here’s Diesel at #22 and house is cleaned. There goes Tatanka at the hands of the tall one and it’s time for Shawn vs. Diesel which gets a pop but is too short to mean much. Kama (Godfather) is #23 as this continues to go slowly. Shawn pounds on Holly (why is he still in this?) in the corner as Kama and Diesel slug it out. The Ringmaster (Steve Austin who is brand new here) is #24. He’s in white boots which is a really strange thing to see for him.
Shawn does his usual overblown self safe as Holly and Austin fight. FINALLY Holly goes out after nearly forty minutes. HHH vs. Austin happens about three years before it would mean anything. Barry Horowitz (with the AWESOME rock version of Hava Nagila) is #25 and he goes after Diesel. Well no one ever accused him of being brilliant. Shawn nips up to knock Owen to the apron, but Hart skins the cat back in. Cool little sequence there.
HHH punches Diesel, so Diesel grabs him by the head and LAUNCHES him to the floor. The Game made it about 48 minutes which isn’t bad at all. MAKING A DIFFERENCE Fatu (don’t ask. PLEASE don’t ask) is #26 and he doesn’t do much. Shawn and Owen can’t suplex the other one out so here’s Isaac Yankem DDS (Kane) at #27. The ring is WAY too full but Barry is put out to thin it out a bit.
Owen hits the enziguri on Shawn which put Michaels on the shelf leading up to this match. Shawn hangs on AGAIN though and puts Owen out while we’re looking at a double feature. Austin kills Shawn with a clothesline and here’s Marty Jannetty at #28. Fatu superkicks Kane as the burst of energy from Marty is already gone. Shawn and Jannetty go at it because they’re former partners. Perfect: “They’re rocking now aren’t they?” They punch each other down and the British Bulldog is #29.
Smith goes right for Shawn because of what happened last year. I love little bits of continuity like that which you never get anymore. Davey puts out Marty as Fatu GOES OFF on Austin before clotheslining him out off camera. Yankem puts out Fatu and here’s Duke Droese at #30. The final group is Shawn, Droese, Diesel, Smith, Yankem and Kama.
Smith and Michaels fight to the floor and Owen jumps Shawn for good measure. Shawn shrugs it off and goes in to dropkick Yankem out. Kama and Diesel put out Droese to get us down to four. Shawn clotheslines Smith out before skinning the cat back in. Diesel dumps Kama and Shawn superkicks the tall one (in the shoulder) out to win for the second year in a row.
Rating: D. Oh this was DULL. The problem here was that like last year (although to a MUCH weaker degree), there were very few guys you could buy as a winner here. It’s FAR better than last year’s match but the crowd was dead for long stretches of this, mainly due to boredom. You could see the star power of the future, but that’s the problem: they weren’t stars yet and no one bought them at this point. The match isn’t bad, but it’s definitely not good if that makes sense.
Diesel is ticked off about the ending and goes back in as Shawn is stripping. They do their old Wolfpack thing in the middle of the ring (a high five where Shawn has to jump) and all is cool. Shawn poses for a long time post match.
Oh yeah we’ve got a thirty minute match left to go.
WWF World Title: Undertaker vs. Bret Hart
Bret is defending and Taker is still in his skull mask period. Diesel is still straggling behind and stares at Taker during his entrance. They brawl with neither guy getting much of an advantage. Since this is WWF, we recap what we just say two minutes ago. After all that, here’s the world champion. Taker stands in the middle of the ring and Bret circles him for a bit. Hart pounds away in the corner and Taker stares at him.
Taker LAUNCHES him into the corner which is one of my favorite of his moves. He chokes Bret in the air and moves very slowly. Off to a smother hold which goes on for a LONG time. Bret finally makes the rope so there’s Old School….which sets up the smother again. Bret fights up and hits a middle rope clothesline followed by a regular one to send Taker to the floor. There’s a dive to take out the challenger as this finally picks up the pace a bit.
Bret tries to dive off the apron at Taker but is pulled out of the air and rammed into the post. Taker rams him into various other things until Bret reverses a whip into the steps, trying to damage Taker’s knees. Back in and Bret works over the knee as this is going nowhere. The Figure Four goes on….and on…..and on……and Taker turns it over.
Bret gets to the rope, so let’s put on ANOTHER LEG HOLD! It’s that always riveting one where Bret drops an elbow on the leg and just lays on it. This is also known as the Dusty Rhodes Special. He does however mix it up by trying to take off Taker’s mask. After being in this for literally about three minutes, Taker smashes his free leg on Bret’s head before we head back to the floor. Taker chokes away with a cord and sends Bret into the barricade as we head back in.
The champ goes back to the freaking knee as the fans loudly boo Bret. Taker’s leg is wrapped around the post a few times and it’s back to laying on the leg. Dear goodness get this over with already. We’re over twenty minutes into this and NOTHING has happened. To save my sanity the hold doesn’t last as long this time and Taker fights back. There are some legdrops and a clothesline as Taker’s knee seems fine. He loads up the Tombstone but Bret slides down his back and guillotines Taker on the ropes.
A DDT puts Taker down and Bret starts headbutting the back. We get the Russian legsweep but Taker sits up. The bulldog takes Taker down and there’s the middle rope elbow. Bret gives the fans a thumbs down and loads up the Sharpshooter. Taker grabs him by the throat to block it but Bret knees him in the ribs. A double clothesline puts both guys down and we lay around a bit more.
Bret is up first and takes off the buckle from a corner. He goes for the mask again and gets it off to reveal….the same Undertaker we’ve seen for like five years at this point. Seriously he looks fine. Taker fights back but gets rammed into the exposed buckle. That gets no sold and it’s a Tombstone for Bret. Since this is such a dull match though, Diesel pulls the referee out at two for a DQ.
Rating: D+. This started VERY slow but got better for the last ten minutes or so, but the ending brings it right back down again. If this had been a fifteen minute match or so it would have been WAY better, but they only had so many other matches on the card, meaning this had to be longer. Diesel would face Taker at Mania of course.
Gorilla Monsoon makes Diesel vs. Bret for the title at the next PPV.
Shawn says the 90s will be his time.
Taker comes in to yell at Gorilla, saying that Diesel won’t be champion on his watch. Gorilla makes it a cage match so Taker can’t interfere.
Diesel goes on a big rant about how he’s not afraid of the dark and says he’s going to have his hands in everything from now on because the WWF is running on Diesel Power. This was his official heel turn.
Cornette says Vader cannot be ignored. He pretty much was until Summerslam.
Overall Rating: D. This is a really weird show to grade because while most of the matches got bad grades, it’s not that bad of a show overall. Don’t get me wrong: it’s bad, but it’s really not as bad as it sounds. The first two matches are certainly watchable, but they’re not that good. The Rumble is also passable, but it’s dull at times. Not horrible, but definitely not worth seeing.
Ratings Comparison
Ahmed Johnson vs. Jeff Jarrett
Original: D+
Redo: C-
Smoking Gunns vs. Bodydonnas
Original: D
Redo: C-
Goldust vs. Razor Ramon
Original: D
Redo: D-
Royal Rumble
Original: D
Redo: D
Bret Hart vs. Undertaker
Original: C-
Redo: D+
Overall Rating
Original: D-
Redo: D
Amazingly enough I liked it a bit better this time.
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Smackdown – January 3, 2014: An Acceptable Use Of Two Hours
Smackdown Date: January 3, 2014
Location: Verizon Center, Washington D.C.
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield
We’re coming up on the Rumble and there are two major stories coming out of Monday: the return of Brock Lesnar and Daniel Bryan joining the Wyatts. The main reaction seems to be that Bryan joining is a slap in the fans’ face and I’m not sure where this idea is coming from. The first thing I thought when he agreed to join was that it was a plan by Bryan to infiltrate the Family and take them apart from the inside. I can’t imagine this doesn’t end with anything other than Bryan doing something to cost the Wyatts big, setting up a showdown between Bray and Daniel, perhaps in the Rumble? Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of the end of Raw with Bryan turning his back on the fans and joining the Family.
Here’s the Shield in the ring to open the show. Ambrose says they’ve heard all the stories about the Shield crumbling from within and that some egos (with an arm around Reigns) are out of control. All of those rumors are dead wrong and if CM Punk thinks he can take down the Shield he’s in for a surprise. Reigns thinks the weak link in the team is obvious (with a look over at Ambrose): there isn’t a weak link. Rollins says the setbacks are temporary because the Shield will come together and dominate WWE.
Shield vs. Usos
Ambrose is the odd man out and sits in on commentary. Reigns gets things going with Jimmy and headbutts him in the corner. Jimmy gets taken down to the mat and stomped by Roman before it’s off to Seth who walks into a clothesline. Off to Jey for the first time and a back elbow to the jaw for two. The Usos get two more off a double elbow drop as Ambrose talks about taking over the WWE and closing down every bar and saloon from Dallas to Singapore. I miss wrestlers implying that they associate with each other off television.
Jimmy gets two off a backdrop before it’s back to Jey for an armdrag into an armbar. An uppercut stops Seth’s comeback and a clothesline puts him on the floor. The Usos hit stereo kicks to Reigns’ ribs to send him outside before backdropping Rollins on top of him. We take a break and come back with Jey holding Rollins in a chickenwing before Seth takes him into the corner for a tag to Reigns.
Roman takes Jey down with an elbow to the jaw as Shield takes over. Seth comes back in off the top with a right hand to the ribs. The announcers actually talk about unifying the midcard titles, meaning it might be a real possibility at the moment. Cole asks Ambrose if he’d like to face Langston. Ambrose, partially in song no less, says no and asks Cole to stop bullying him and “BE A STAR.” Can we just get Punk and Ambrose to do commentary on random matches? I’d buy the Network for that alone.
Off to a cobra clutch by Rollins before Reigns comes back in to bend Jey’s arm around the rope. Ambrose keeps spinning around in his chair at commentary. Reigns misses a charge and falls out to the floor. Seth can’t make a diving save so Jey makes the hot tag off to Jimmy. Everything breaks down and Rollins gets Samoan dropped but rolls to the floor before the Umaga attack can connect. Reigns is sent outside as well but Ambrose runs in for the DQ at 9:03 shown of 12:03.
Rating: C+. These teams are reaching the point where they could have good matches in their sleep. The Usos are becoming the Kofi Kingstons of the tag division as you’re guaranteed a good match but they’re never going to go anywhere beyond where they are now. Hopefully they can break that mold and eventually get the titles that they’re long overdue to win.
Before Shield can get far in their triple team, CM Punk comes out for the save.
Throughout the night we’re going to get New Year’s Resolutions from Superstars. Up first are the Prime Time Players who want to use their talents to do more good and…..get a macaroni recipe?
Vickie, six man tag, etc.
Fandango vs. R-Truth
Xavier gets in on commentary as Fandango pounds Truth into the corner. Truth does his backflip to the middle of the ring and hiptosses Fandango down. Woods brags about getting a PHD and being the only man in history to be a doctor and work for WWE. JBL: “What about Dr. Jerry Graham and Dr. Tom Pritchard?”
Woods sums up the connection between he and Truth: they’re friends and Truth got him into wrestling. Works for me. Fandango comes back with a quick spinwheel kick to the jaw for two and we hit the reverse chinlock. Truth fires off right hands but runs into a boot. Woods calls out the Funkadactyls and gets on the table (wearing JBL’s hat) to dance. The distraction lets Truth hit Little Jimmy for the pin at 2:52. Have we reached the point where the distraction is someone’s official set up move? Also shouldn’t that be considered a heel move?
Dancing ensues.
Video on Tribute to the Troops.
Big E. Langston talks about Brock destroying his friend on Monday and says he wouldn’t want to be Brock Lesnar right now. Curtis Axel comes in and says he’s sorry for what happened to Mark but he’ll be laughing all the way to the bank after beating Langston tonight. Big E. says no one will be laughing after the match.
Video on Bryan joining the Wyatts on Monday.
Tag Titles: Goldust/Cody Rhodes vs. Wyatt Family
Cody and Goldust are defending but there’s no Bray and/or Bryan. Goldust and Harper get things going with Luke driving him into the corner. The crowd is very quiet tonight for some reason. Harper is taken into the corner and a double suplex gets a one count for Luke. Back to Goldust who gets fingers in his eyes before it’s off to Rowan. The monsters make some quick tags to take over on Goldust but he comes back with right hands in the corner.
Rowan is knocked to the apron but Luke clotheslines Goldust down and puts on a chinlock. Goldust fights up and gets a quick two off a sunset flip. The hot tag (kind of as the crowd is still barely responding at all) brings in Cody for a knee lift and the Disaster Kick to send Harper to the floor. Cody follows him out but gets sent into the barricade and steps as we take a break.
Back with Rowan firing off more right hands put Cody down as we look at the empty rocking chair. Back to Harper for a running elbow in the corner to knock Cody down again. There’s the Gator Roll followed by another chinlock but Harper lets go of the hold to knock Goldust off the apron.
Rowan comes back in but gets sent to the floor, only to have Harper knock Goldust down again. A BIG sitout powerbomb gets two on Cody as Goldust makes the save. Everything breaks down and Harper kicks Cody in the face to knock him silly. Cody breaks up what looks like a belly to back superplex and hits the moonsault to a standing Harper. Goldust makes a blind tag and grabs an O’Connor roll for the pin on Rowan at 12:25.
Rating: B. I’m more and more impressed by Goldust and Cody every time they go out there. There’s that natural chemistry that you get with brothers that you just can’t teach and it’s taking these guys to another level. The Wyatts get better in the ring with every match they have as well with Rowan more than holding up his end of the team.
Miz’s resolution is to be awesome.
Nikki Bella vs. Aksana
This is fallout from Aksana pinning Nikki on Monday in the ten Diva tag. They shove each other to start until Nikki hiptosses her down and drives shoulders in the corner. Aksana rolls outside and grabs Nikki’s arm to slam it into the post. The announcers are comparing Aksana to Hannibal Lecter for some reason as she gets two off a side slam. Off to an arm lock on Nikki but she fights back with clotheslines and dropkicks. Aksana comes back with a kick to the ribs and forearms in the corner, only to get Racked. Nikki drops to her knees (that move HAS to be a rib somehow) into a backbreaker for the pin at 4:00.
Rating: D. The girls both look good in tight outfits but they have no business in the ring. If nothing else this makes Brie look that much better as she’s miles ahead of Nikki as far as wrestling skills go. Aksana is there as eye candy, which makes me wonder why they had get the pin on Monday.
We get the video package on Orton’s career from Raw.
Big E. Langston vs. Curtis Axel
Non-title. Axel gets in some right hands to start but gets his head taken off by a clothesline. Big E. charges into a boot in the corner but knocks Axel out of the air with a shoulder block for two. Curtis comes back with some right hands and knee drops before hooking an armbar. Langston pops up and hits a quick belly to belly followed by the Warrior Splash. Axel escapes the Big Ending and snaps Langston’s throat across the top rope but walks into the Big Ending for the pin at 3:55.
Rating: D+. This was just a step above a squash for Langston and there’s nothing wrong with that. He needs to keep racking up wins like this to make him feel like an unstoppable force before someone knocks him off for the title so Big E. can move to the main event. It worked for Warrior and it can work for Langston.
The Raw ReBound looks at Lesnar destroying Mark Henry.
We get a sitdown interview with Heyman who says Brock is back because there’s one WWE Champion. Brock wants to be the one and only champion and it doesn’t matter who comes out of the Rumble with the title. Heyman says Brock is looking to do something Old School next week, meaning he’ll be on Raw.
Time for Bad News Barrett with his nifty rising podium. The bad news tonight: no one is going to keep their new year’s resolutions so this time next year, everyone will be just as fat, unhealthy and unproductive as they are now.
CM Punk/Usos vs. Shield
Ambrose and Punk get us going with CM being driven into the corner, only to have Punk whip him over to the other Shield members. Off to Rollins who grabs a hammerlock but Punk counters into a headlock so he can loudly shout spots in Rollins’ ear. A neckbreaker puts Seth down for two and it’s off to Jey for a running headbutt. He puts Seth in a Boston crab as the now legal Jimmy drops a leg on the back of Seth’s head.
A leg lariat puts Seth down and it’s back to Jey for a superkick to the chest. Ambrose is sent to the floor but Reigns blocks a big dive from Jey as we take a break. Back with Reigns driving a headbutt into Jimmy’s chest and getting two off the Superman Punch. Rollins comes in with a backsplash for two and we hit the neck crank. Seth goes up but gets crotched down, only to have Ambrose come in to break up the hot tag attempt.
Jimmy breaks a chinlock with a jawbreaker and elbows his way out of a belly to back superplex attempt. Reigns comes in with Jimmy still on the top and gets taken down by a top rope cross body. Rollins knocks Jey off the apron but can’t stop the tag to Punk. CM comes in with a springboard clothesline and the running knee in the corner. Ambrose distracts Punk from dropping the Macho Elbow and Rollins crotches him on the top.
Punk rolls through a crossbody to put Rollins in the Anaconda Vice but Reigns makes the save. Another Superman Punch puts Jey down and we get down to the legal Punk vs. Rollins. Seth crawls over and tags in Dean who hits a butterfly superplex on Punk for two. Punk comes back with a GTS attempt but drops him before Reigns can launch the spear. A double superkick drops Roman and Seth gets backdropped to the floor. The twins hit stereo dives and the GTS ends Ambrose at 13:48.
Rating: B-. Good stuff here as you would expect, even with Ambrose taking the fall again. I’m assuming they’re building up to Reigns calling Ambrose out for all of the losses but get the title off of him if that’s where they’re going. If nothing else Shield hasn’t turned into a joke and they’re potentially splitting while still having awesome matches.
A video from Bray Wyatt talking about Bryan needing the Family to be his home ends the show.
Overall Rating: C. They focused on the tag stuff again tonight but the taping schedule messed a few things up. It’s annoying that we have to wait for Monday for anything on Bryan but it’s better to do it on a big Raw than on a regular Smackdown anyway. This is another show that you didn’t need to see but it was a fine enough way to spend two hours.
Results
Usos b. Shield via DQ when Dean Ambrose interfered
R-Truth b. Fandango – Little Jimmy
Goldust/Cody Rhodes b. Wyatt Family – O’Connor roll to Rowan
Nikki Bella b. Aksana – Torture rack backbreaker
Big E. Langston b. Curtis Axel – Big Ending
CM Punk/Usos b. Shield – GTS to Ambrose
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Wrestler of the Day – January 2: Cody Rhodes and Goldust
I’m already having to stretch with this one as there’s no one video of anyone born on January 2. Therefore, today’s wrestlers are going to be the hottest second generation acts at the moment: Goldust and Cody Rhodes. We’ll start with the elder of the pair.
Goldust is the more famous incarnation of Dustin Rhodes who made his national debut for all intents and purposes at the 1991 Royal Rumble, joining his father Dusty in a tag match against Ted DiBiase and Virgil.
Ted Dibiase/Virgil vs. Dustin Rhodes/Dusty Rhodes
Dustin is BRAND new here as this is his first WWF match. It’s also Dusty’s last in the WWF/E for over fifteen years. This is the blowoff to DiBiase vs. Dusty which started at Summerslam with Ted buying Sapphire and taking her from Dusty. Sapphire left soon afterwards because she didn’t want to be away from Dusty. Anyway the Rhodes Family takes over to start with elbows a go-go, sending the heels to a huddle on the floor.
Dustin, only 21 here, starts with Virgil who barely ever wrestled at this point. I mean it was like once every year or two. Dustin hits a clothesline and a dropkick to send Virgil (the real name of Dusty for you trivia geeks) to the floor as DiBiase is getting frustrated. Another clothesline puts Virgil on the floor again and Ted yells a lot. Off to DiBiase to backdrop the young gun but a second attempt results in a face jam.
The Rhodes dudes hammer DiBiase back and forth with elbows to send him to the floor as well. Here’s Big Dust who puts on a sleeper but Virgil breaks it up. Back to Dustin for a dropkick for two, but a charging knee at Virgil misses to put Dustin down. Virgil stays on the knee and wraps it around the post, as does his boss. The heels try some double teaming, but Virgil accidentally clotheslines DiBiase. Ted beats the tar out of him, allowing Dustin to tag his dad. Said dad is rolled up for the pin almost immediately by DiBiase.
Rating: D+. Another dull match here but it was almost all for the ending and post match stuff. Like I said, the Rhodes guys were on their way out so they didn’t have a chance at all in this one. Dusty stopped meaning anything months before this and it was the right move to go back to WCW for him where he could do what he wanted and book as well.
That was it for the Rhodes Family in the WWF as they moved back to WCW almost immediately. Dustin would get a lot better over time and become known as the Natural. He would win the US Title in 1993 and defend it against Steve Austin at Starrcade 1993.
US Title: Steve Austin vs. Dustin Rhodes
“The Natural” Rhodes is defending but Austin is rapidly becoming the character that would make him the legend that he was destined to be. He also has Colonel Robert Parker as his manager and this is 2/3 falls. Jesse entertains himself by making fun of the Hooters girl (“You can’t call her the Natural.”) as they fight on the mat for basic control. The champion puts on a headscissors but Austin quickly makes a rope. An elbow to the head puts Austin on the floor and we take a breather.
Rhodes pounds in knees to Steve’s arm but Austin rolls right back to the floor. Back in again with Dustin taking him down to the mat with a headlock. Austin fights up and kicks him in the ribs, only to be caught in a backslide for two. Austin bails right back to the floor as the match stops all over again. This time though Austin pulls him to the mat and hits an elbow on Dustin’s chest to take over.
Now Rhodes knocks Austin into the crowd before heading back inside. Steve looks very frustrated and a big right hand frustrates him even more. Back to the headlock because we haven’t spent enough time in that hold yet. Austin escapes and drops some knees, only to be popped in the jaw again. Rhodes is thrown to the floor but he comes back in with a sunset flip for two. A belly to back suplex puts the champion down and Austin gets a lazy two.
They ram heads and yet again we lay around. This has been another dull match in a series of them tonight. Back up and Rhodes hits an elbow to the head but Austin falls on top during a slam attempt, getting another near fall. Austin misses a middle rope knee drop and Dustin connects with a lariat. A powerslam gets two as Parker is up on the apron. Dustin throws Austin int Parker but Steve goes over the top, giving him the first fall in a DQ.
Austin is busted open and Parker has to be taken to the back after being attacked by Dustin. The second fall starts and there go the lights. Thankfully we have a spotlight ready as Dustin hits a suplex for no cover. They head to the corner with Rhodes pounding away and the lights are back. In a quick ending, Austin shoves him off the ropes and grabs the trunks for the pin, the second fall, and the title.
Rating: D. I’m getting tired of these lame matches. Austin and Rhodes are WAY too talented to have such a bad match, but the majority of this match was spent doing very basic stuff which had no excitement to it at all. There’s nothing to see here at all, as is the case with all of the matches so far tonight.
Dustin would eventually jump to the WWF again and would undergo one of the most radical changes in history. Instead of being the Natural, he would become a man in a gold suit with gold hair and covered in gold paint named Goldust. He was obsessed with the movies and quoted film nonstop. After doing little of note for a few months, he would challenge Razor Ramon for the Intercontinental Title at Royal Rumble 1996.
Intercontinental Title: Razor Ramon vs. Goldust
The yet to be named Marlena debuts with Goldie here. Razor is defending as is his custom. Feeling out process to start with Goldust playing his usual mind games, which means rubbing himself. Razor cranks on the arm before grabbing a headlock which goes nowhere. Goldust goes behind Razor and molests him a bit to psych Razor out even more. They head to the corner with Razor having his head rubbed a bit, ticking him off even more.
Razor goes for the arm so Goldust slaps him in the face. Perfect keeps making sex jokes as Razor slaps Goldust right back in the face. He spanks Goldie once as well, but the painted dude likes it. We head to the floor where Goldust hides behind Marlena as the stalling continues. Back in and Razor tries three straight headscissors before punching Goldust to the floor with a single shot.
We get more stalling which is called playing mind games before Ramon clotheslines him right back to the outside. Razor has to move Marlena out of the way, allowing Goldust to FINALLY do something, taking over with a shot to the ribs. Back in and Goldust focuses on the ribs, but not too much because that might mean we have some speed to this match. A bulldog gets two for Goldust as does a slingshot belly to back suplex.
Off to a sleeper, which Perfect suggests Goldust could use to do “whatever he wants” to Goldust. Much like everything else in the match, this goes on way too long until Razor fights up and kicks Goldust low. He’s so spent though that Goldie gets a two count, causing Razor to start his comeback. He fires off his usual punches and the chokeslam gets two. A belly to back superplex hit but Marlent distracts the referee, allowing the 1-2-3 Kid to come in and kick Razor’s head off. Goldust gets the easy pin and the title.
Rating: D-. Sweet freaking goodness this was dull. It went on WAY too long and had a bad ending on top of that, plus the stupid “psychology” from Goldust which wound up being more unpleasant than interesting or intelligent. Goldust would get WAY better when he became more of a comedy/parody character rather than this freaky dude that he was to start his WWF run. The matches got a lot better as a result too.
Goldust would stick around for years to come but would mainly be a midcarder who was strange in name only. We’re going to skip ahead to December of 2002 when Goldust was part of a very funny tag team with Booker T. This is from Armageddon 2002 in a four way tag team title match with Booker T/Goldust as one set of challengers.
Raw Tag Titles: Dudley Boys vs. Chris Jericho/Christian vs. Booker T/Goldust vs. Lance Storm/William Regal
The Canadians are champions and this is under elimination rules. The Dudleys are only 15 time tag champions here. They’re also recently reunited, having gotten back together at Survivor Series. The Dudleys and Unamericans (Regal/Storm) were pre-determined to start the match in a four way coin toss somehow. Storm and Bubba get us going here with Storm hammering away.
Ray channels the POWER OF AMERICA and beats down Storm with a corner splash and it’s off to Christian vs. D-Von. We get a rundown of the city structure of Dudleyville as Regal comes in now. Goldust vs. the British dude with the British dude hitting a suplex for no cover. Christian tagged himself in, ticking Regal off. Is there a reason why you would want to come in? I’d chill on the apron until it’s down to two teams.
Jericho comes in and is sent right back out again by Goldie. Back in Jericho reminds Goldust that he’s THE KING OF THE WORLD and it’s off to Christian as Goldie is in trouble. What’s Up to Christian as some Dudleys are here in case you didn’t get that one. Everything breaks down and we have Christian vs. D-Von left in the ring. 3D to Christian but Regal got a blind tag. After a weird confusion, Regal gets two on Ray (illegal man) but it’s called a pin anyway. Five seconds later Goldust gets a powerslam (seriously?) to Regal to get us down to two teams. That was an incredibly confusing sequence.
Ok so it’s Christian/Jericho vs. Booker/Goldust. The good guys (Booker/Goldust) hammer on Jericho with Booker being legal. Hook kick gets two for Booker and it’s off to the armbar. Christian is down on the floor I guess. Maybe he’s off finding a good deal on Turtle Wax. Either way he’s not in the corner but he pops up in time to break up a pin attempt on Jericho.
Off to Christian who avoids a forearm, sending Goldust to the floor. Jericho gets a British flag to Goldust’s back to take over again. Back in Christian gets an abdominal stretch and a chant saying he sucks. Jericho comes in and goes down quickly but Christian makes a nice save to break up the tag. I would have thought that would have worked. In a surprising moment, Goldust wakes up and beats the champions down with ease. Ross calls a chokeslam (kind of) a sidewalk slam. Ok then.
Off to Booker who gets the Jack Brisco sunset flip out of the corner for two. He hammers on Jericho but the falling sleeper (looked awful) takes down Booker for two. Here come the Walls but Jericho gets rolled up for two. Axe kick misses and there are the Walls. Goldie pops up out of nowhere and hits a bulldog to take Jericho down.
A belt shot by Christian doesn’t work and a missile dropkick gets two on Jericho. Lionsault misses so Booker stops for the Spinarooni. Axe kick gets two and everything breaks down again. Belt shot and Lionsault get two on Booker and Jericho is ticked. So ticked that he walks into the Bookend and we’re done with new comedic champions.
Rating: B-. Pretty fun match here as they sped through the first two eliminations so we could get to the two top teams. Goldie and Booker were funny but they lost the titles in like three weeks to the Unamericans. They knew how to have a fast paced tag match out there and the whole thing worked rather well. This was somehow almost 17 minutes long and it feels like about seven, which is a great thing.
The new champions would lose the titles a month later and Goldust would become little more than a jobber. He went to TNA for a few years and was a monster named Black Reign before pretty much fading away. Finally in 2013 he was brought back as part of a storyline war between the Rhodes and McMahon families, culminating in a tag match at Battleground where he teamed with his brother Cody against the Shield for the Rhodes Family’s jobs.
Cody Rhodes/Goldust vs. Seth Rollins/Roman Reigns
If the Rhodes Family wins, they get their jobs back. If Shield wins, Cody and Goldust are gone forever and Dusty loses his job too. This is also non-title. Dusty is at ringside to counter act Dean Ambrose and Goldust looks like Darth Maul. Cody pounds away on Seth to start and it’s quickly off to Roman who gets pounded down in the corner. Shield bails to the floor and stalks Dusty, setting up a cool looking six man standoff with the brothers protecting their dad.
Back in and Roman knees Cody down as the champions take over. Seth comes in but walks into an elbow to the jaw and a stomping in the corner. Rollins sends him into the buckle to escape and it’s off to Roman for some power. After an easy pounding it’s quickly back to Rollins to crank on the shoulder a bit. Cody gets caught in the Tree of Woe but frees up a leg to kick Seth down. The moonsault press hits Rollins perfectly and the hot tag brings in Goldust.
An atomic drop slows Reigns down and Goldust pounds him down in the corner. Goldust hits a spinning cross body off the top for two but misses a regular cross body, sending him out to the floor. Goldie dives back in at nine but gets caught in a body scissors from Rollins. Back to Reigns for a good looking clothesline for two before it’s back to Rollins who gets the same off a hilo. Goldust comes back by avoiding a dropkick and powerslamming Seth down.
There’s the hot tag off to Cody for an Alabama Slam to Rollins for a very near fall. Something like a Muscle Buster gets two on Rollins and everything breaks down. The Disaster Kick staggers Reigns and Cody clotheslines him to the floor but an Ambrose distraction allows Seth to come back in for the save. Dusty elbows Ambrose down and Seth rolls up Cody for two. Rhodes comes pops back up and hits Cross Rhodes for the pin at 13:55.
Rating: B. This was ALL about emotion coming in but the match was good stuff on top of that. Again, this match worked because we were given a reason to care about the underdogs and wanted to see them win instead of being told we wanted to see them win. That’s how you make a good story and it worked perfectly well here.
That brings us to Cody Rhodes, who is far different from his dad and brother but still very talented. We’ll start with his time down in OVW as he teams up with CM Punk to face Jay Bradley (occasionally seen in TNA) and Shawn Spears who appeared in WWECW a few times. I’m not 100% sure on the date here but I’m pretty sure it’s June 23, 2007.
Cody Runnels/CM Punk vs. Shawn Spears/Jay Bradley
Bradley is OVW Champion and Spears is TV Champion. Cody has half polka dot half goldu trunks to honor his family. If Punk and Cody (the good guys here) win, Cody gets Spears in a strap match this coming week and Punk gets a title match with Bradley next week on TV. Cody decks Bradley in the face with a string of forearms but keeps looking over at Spears. Bradley catches him in a fallaway slam and it’s off to Spears who immediately runs to the floor.
It’s back to Bradley who runs from Punk and tags Spears back in. Cody gets an immediate tag to send Spears running again but Bradley makes another save. Bradley hits Cody with some forearms to the back and like a good heel, Spears finally comes in when Cody is down. Cody shrugs off everything Spears has to throw at him, sending Shawn to the corner for another tag. Announcer Dean Hill talks about Spears and Cody being former partner until Spears turned on him. Simple but effective story.
Bradley puts Cody in a chinlock and drags him to the corner for another tag off to Shawn. Spears plays a nice cocky heel until Cody punches him in the face. Punk comes in sans tag but only gets his partner in more trouble. The heels stay in control until Spears ducks his head and gets punched in the face. Cody FINALLY makes the tag off to Punk and everything breaks down, sending the heels running off for the countout.
Rating: C-. This was about setting up stuff for later and there’s nothing wrong with that. Cody had the look and some natural skills but he needed a lot of seasoning at this point. Punk was barely in the match at all but he was just a special attraction in OVW here. Cody would win the title in just a few days.
Post match Cody pulls out a strap and cleans house on everyone that comes from the locker room to help the heels.
Cody would debut on Raw less than a month later. He would go on to feud with Hardcore Holly and eventually get a tag team title shot at the Raw 15th Anniversary special on December 10, 2007.
Raw Tag Titles: Hardcore Holly/Cody Rhodes vs. Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch
Dusty is out here too so you know this is going to be a title change. Cody’s team is challenging. Cade and Cody start us off as Dusty is at home talking a lot. He really was good at what he did and the one biggest thing about him: you can never say he was boring. He paid attention and had insight about EVERYTHING. Cody is very much a rookie here and after he gets beaten up for awhile it’s a double tag and Holly cleans house. Everything breaks down and the Alabama Slam gives Rhodes and Holly the titles. Dusty comes in to celebrate with them.
They would hold the titles for over seven months despite few people seeming interested. Cody would turn heel and join up with Randy Orton and Ted DiBiase Jr. as part of Legacy. The trio would dominate Raw for a good while and eventually feud with DX, leading to a submissions only match at Breaking Point.
DX vs. Legacy
This is submissions count anywhere. We get the obligatory Montreal reference from DX which makes sense as we’re in Montreal tonight. HHH says it was all Shawn’s fault in a rather funny bit. There are in essence no rules in this to speak of. Shawn is famous for the figure four? Since when? We’re already into the crowd so at least they’re not trying that hard to make this look like a normal match. That’s always a perk.
Shawn has DiBiase in a choke on a railing in the audience and HHH and Rhodes are back in the concourse I think. We were in the ring for all of 8 seconds in case you were wondering. They’re brawling all over the place but of course we’re heading back to the ring now. Rhodes is put onto a chair and HHH gets a Boston Crab at the same time that Shawn gets a camel clutch. Good to know. After that is broken up we get a crossface from HHH.
I’m not sure if this is a good match or not. Rhodes hooks a Gory Special of all things. The formula of this match more of less is one guy puts a hold on another and the partner makes the save. It’s ok but there’s not much to it really. HHH and DiBiase are in the ring and Rhodes and Shawn are fighting in the production area. They fight into the stands and Shawn falls from there down to a perfectly placed empty area.
Basically HHH has to fight both guys off to keep them away from Shawn. Hmm…HHH having to face very big odds and do something no other normal person could pull off? Where’s the challenge? They’re in the back and beating the heck out of HHH. The crowd reaction would suggest Shawn is up. Oh wait it’s Montreal so maybe he died or something. Never mind. He’s up. It’s back to 1-2 now though as HHH got smacked in the head and is down.
Rhodes busts out an ankle lock on Shawn. You know, the guy with a bad back that just hurt his back a few minutes ago. I can’t stand stupid wrestlers at times. So Shawn was down for maybe two minutes from FALLING OFF A BALCONY and HHH is down much longer from a garbage can shot? Good freaking night.
Shawn gets that reverse figure four that he used like twice but he’s a master off all of a sudden anyway. Rhodes just goes off on Shawn and hooks the figure four on the post. DiBiase adds in the Million Dollar Dream. And Shawn taps out with HHH crawling on the floor. Talk about an EPIC win. Match kind of sucked but kind of didn’t.
Rating: B-. I liked it, but there were a LOT of problems here. For one thing, it got to the point where it was just the same stuff happening but with different people. That’s rather boring indeed. However, VERY happy that Legacy won as they actually needed a win as opposed to DX all over again. It was good but far from great. I’ll give it the benefit of the doubt though.
Once Legacy broke up, Cody eventually became obsessed with his looks and going by the name Dashing Cody Rhodes. He would offer tips on self-grooming and stuff like candles while still putting on good matches. Eventually he would have his face injured in a match against Rey Mysterio and wear a mask that made him look like Dr. Doom from Marvel Comics. The interesting aspect of the character was that Cody’s face looked exactly the same but in his head he was convinced he was hideous. This led to a match with Mysterio at Wrestlemania 27.
Cody Rhodes vs. Rey Mysterio
Cody used to be Dashing but then Rey hit him with the 619 and the knee brace hit Cody in the face, scarring him and requiring facial surgery. Cody basically became Dr. Doom but in reality his face was fine. However he wanted Rey’s mask for retribution. This was an AWESOME character but of course WWE would wind up wasting the entire thing and make Cody a jobber because they got bored with him after a few months. Still though, this part was awesome.
Oh yeah the match. Rey comes out as Captain America this year which is an awesome looking costume for him. Rey is almost immediately sent to the apron but comes in off the top with a dropkick to take over. A forearm to Rey’s face takes over and Cody goes after the knee brace which caused the initial injury. Rey kicks his way out of the corner but Cody headbutts him in the face to take over again because of the hard mask.
The Disaster Kick to the head puts Rey down again and it’s off to a chinlock. Cody charges into a boot in the corner but comes right back with the Alabama Slam for two. Back to the knee brace for a second before Cody hits a running knee to the back of Rey’s head to keep him down. Mysterio is sent to the apron again and goes up top, only to be sent down in a delayed superplex. Cody stomps away and talks about how Rey hurt his face.
Rey escapes Cross Rhodes and sends Cody out to the floor for a baseball slide to the face. A headscissors sends Cody into the apron and we head back inside to speed things up. Rey hooks a quick quick rollup for two and fires off a kick to the face. Cody charges into a kick to the ribs but comes back with a release German suplex for two. A springboard headscissors puts Cody down but the 619 is caught in mid kick. Cody slingshots Rey’s throat into the middle rope for two more and now the knee brace is removed.
Rey comes right back with a moonsault press for two of his own and Cody loses his mask. The 619 hits and a hard kick to Cody’s head gets two more. Now Mysterio puts Cody’s mask on and hits a few headbutts with it before hitting a top rope headbutt to the chest for two. Cody rolls to the floor and sneaks in a shot to the face with the knee brace, followed up by Cross Rhodes for the upset pin.
Rating: B-. Good match here and pretty easily Cody’s biggest win ever to this point. Cody needed this win a lot more than Mysterio and it made him even more awesome than he already was before this match. Mysterio had nothing to gain here and it was a pleasant sight to see the hotter star go over like that.
Cody would go on to win the Intercontinental Title and hold it for several months. After losing it for the second time, things would go down in a hurry for Rhodes as he would be stuck in midcard and tag team feuds that went nowhere. It wouldn’t be until Fall of 2013 when Cody got a match with WWE Champion Randy Orton for his job that he would show the potential he had again.
Cody Rhodes vs. Randy Orton
If Cody loses he’s gone. Orton pounds away in the corner to start and takes him down with a clothesline. Rhodes is draped over the top rope and sent out to the floor, but he sends Randy into the steps for a breather. Cody cranks on the arm and gets two off a dropkick before pounding away in the corner. Orton gets choked on the ropes but comes back with a poke to the eye for two. More right hands have Randy in control but Cody comes back with a release front suplex and right hands of his own in the corner. Orton hits the backbreaker out of said corner to send Cody to the floor as we take a break.
Back with Orton throwing Cody back inside for two but Cody comes back with an elbow to the jaw and an uppercut to put Rhodes down. A springboard missile dropkick gets a close two and the Disaster Kick gets the same. Orton sidesteps the moonsault press and puts Cody down with the Elevated DDT. The RKO is countered into the Cross Rhodes out of nowhere for a VERY close two. I thought that was it. The fans are WAY into Cody here but Orton snaps his throat across the top rope. Back in and Rhodes gets two off a rollup but another Disaster Kick misses and the RKO connects for the pin at 13:35.
Rating: B. When you have me believing that Cody Rhodes could beat Randy Orton, you’re doing something right. I’m not sure where they’re going to go with Cody now as he got a good rub here but apparently he’s gone for a bit due to the loss. Either they’re going back on what they said or he’s really taking time off for some reason. Still though, good match here.
Overall, the Rhodes children are the polar opposite of their dad. Dusty was all about promos and usually couldn’t have a good match if his life depended on it. Cody and Goldust can both talk but are much more athletic in the ring. At this point Goldust is having one of the best career comebacks you’ll ever see while Cody could be an upper midcard fixture for years to come.
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2013 Awards: Feud of the Year
My pick surprised me here.This is a hard one to pick as almost nothing stood head and shoulders above everything else this year. I’ll eliminate Bryan vs. Orton as the multiple screwjob endings really dragged it down. Bryan is definitely a bigger star as a result, but it didn’t feel like a satisfying ending at all.
Aces and 8’s vs. TNA…..just no.
For second place I’ll go with Punk vs. Heyman. Yeah the promos were great and Lesnar vs. Punk might be match of the year, but the stuff with Axel and Ryback just killed time and Punk’s “extreme” attacks on Heyman were just lame. The feud had its moments but there was too much bad stuff in there for it to hold up.
I’m going to give this to the Rhodes Family vs. the Authority. The promos from Dusty were excellent, the matches with Shield got better and better every time with the tag title change being one of the best moments of the year, and the payoff actually worked. Also, we’re getting one of the best comebacks ever from Goldust and it’s going to make Cody look like a bigger star that he ever has before. It’s an awesome feud and the brothers are still riding momentum from it.
TLC 2013 Preview
We’re getting closer to the Road to Wrestlemania, which means I need to start packing for the biggest show of the year. The major story for the show is the world title unification which has been thrown together in less than three weeks for reasons that aren’t quite clear. Let’s get to it.We’ll start with the pre-show as always. In case you missed the throwaway line on Raw, the match is Ziggler vs. Fandango in a match of who has fallen further since the summer. I’ll take Ziggler to win in a match that will likely make people cancel their PPV orders instead of buying the show.
As for matches people might actually care about, I’m going with Orton to get both titles. The seeds for a Cena heel turn are so obvious that they feel like they’re fakes and the Authority will screw him over. These two in a TLC match should be a great brawl but everyone is waiting for the big story stuff at the end of the match. Orton wins in an entertaining match.
I’ll take Bryan over the Wyatts due to Bray sitting at ringside and Bryan somehow hitting the knee on Rowan for a fast pin. The key to the Wyatts has always been in their talking so even losing here isn’t the worst result in the world. Bray will probably sit on the floor for most of the match anyway.
Shield over Punk as CM fights off Ambrose and Rollins but gets speared down for the pin. Ambrose of course takes the credit, furthering the split.
Langston keeps the Intercontinental Title in the obvious result of the night.
Natalya has to win the title eventually right? AJ has held the thing for months now and since it’s WWE, having a challenger lose most of the early title shots to win in the end is the norm, even though they look worthless leading up to the match. Total Divas has wrapped up too, so I have no idea why they’d change the title now, making it all the more likely.
In the bonus match I’ll take Mysterio and Big Show to win the tag titles. Why? Because the tag division is getting really good so the solution is to put the belts on a thrown together team with I believe one match together at all.
If Miz vs. Kofi is added as it should be, I’ll take Miz with another freaking rollup.
Overall TLC is a one match show but it’s one heck of a match. The idea of unifying the titles is something that needed to happen a long time ago and thankfully will get rid of a lot of the annoying problems WWE has, such as four people having 50 title reigns between the two of them in less than twelve years. It’s far more about the big story to end the show and get us rolling down the road to Wrestlemania, The show should be entertaining enough, though adding in a ladder, chairs or tables match might have helped a bit. Still though, it should be fun.
Thoughts/predictions?
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