Monday Night Raw – October 16, 1995: The Worst Ever Back Then

Monday Night Raw
Date: October 16, 1995
Location: Grand Center, Grand Rapids, Michigan
Attendance: 1,500
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

We come to the end of a taping cycle with the go home show for In Your House: Great White North and that means it is time for the big final push. Instead of building off of the pretty awesome beatdown segment on last week’s show, we are building off everyone talking about it for about thirty minutes after the match. Other than that, we have Bret Hart vs. Isaac Yankem in a cage match before Bret has nothing to do at the pay per view. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with dueling dentist/teeth themed promos from Bret Hart and Isaac Yankem/Jerry Lawler inside a cage. You have Bret Hart, one of the best wrestlers of all time, doing dentist lines. Is it any wonder why it didn’t take Nitro long to catch up?

Opening sequence.

Dean Douglas and Mabel have been fined $7,500 each for last week’s big attack.

Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Doink The Clown

Doink gets practical to start by grabbing Helmsley’s nose and drags him around. A head knocker makes it worse as commentary makes mention of Shawn Michaels getting beaten up by some undisclosed number of Marines (that number would wind up being one) at a nightclub in Syracuse, New York. A small package and backslide give Doink two each but Doink misses a middle rope crossbody. The Pedigree finishes for Helmsley in short order.

Rating: D+. Not much to see here, even if it is still weird to have such a young and unproven Helmsley. At the same time, Doink being around in late 1995 is almost hard to fathom. This was just a way to get Helmsley on the show as WWE seems to think something of him, as they probably should have.

Barry Horowitz teaches Hakushi about baseball, but Hakushi thinks Hank Aaron was better than babe Ruth. Aaron was great and somehow underrated but come on.

President Gorilla Monsoon makes King Mabel vs. Yokozuna for In Your House.

Tag Team Titles: PG-13 vs. Smoking Gunns

The Gunns are defending and apparently this was originally a dark match but was added to the show as the taping cycle was stretched out to include another episode. Billy armdrags Wolfie to start and punches both of them down without much trouble. Ice comes in with a cartwheel and gets clotheslined down by Bart. Back up and Ice gets thrown at Wolfie as this is one sided so far. Wolfie manages to spin out of a hiptoss though and a running knee to the back puts Billy on the floor. A headlock grinds Billy down some more and we hear more about Shawn vs. the Marines.

We take a break and come back with a double elbow…not dropping Billy so he catapults Ice into Wolfie for the knock off the apron. Bart comes back in to clean house to no reaction and the Sidewinder retains the titles (with Ice tripping over the ropes as he tries to make a save, leaving Bart not even having to throw a punch).

Rating: C-. PG-13 was little more than a side trip for the Gunns, who won the titles a few weeks ago and need some better opponents than a couple of small guys from the USWA. The Gunns were the definition of a pretty good team in a terrible era for tag wrestling so this was the kind of thing they had to do far too often.

We look at Bertha Faye crushing Alundra Blayze to win the Women’s Title. The rematch is next week.

We get an interview from earlier this week with Jim Cornette promising that the British Bulldog would take the WWF Title from Diesel. Bulldog has turned his back on all of his friends to get ready and then last week he pinned Diesel on Raw. The suggestion that Yokozuna dropping the leg on Diesel let Bulldog wins has him less than happy, with promises that he’ll beat Diesel anyway.

A new guy named Ahmed Johnson talks about honor (I think?) which he covers in a story about his mom earning minimum wage to take him to a WWF show and him working hard in school to thank her. His promos really hard that hard to understand and that was only one of several problems that held him back.

Dean Douglas vs. Joe Dorgan

Douglas wrestles him to the mat as we talk about Shawn Michaels being pulled from a car by ten individuals, who beat him up despite him still being unconscious. Dorgan gets in a dropkick as we hear from Shawn on the phone. Shawn makes it clear that he will be at In Your House no matter what as Douglas finishes fast with a fisherman’s suplex.

The cage is set up, along with Jerry Lawler’s shark cage. Lawler is not pleased.

In Your House rundown.

Goldust is ready for Marty Jannetty and promises to give him a makeover.

We recap King Mable vs. Undertaker over the last few months, capped off by Mabel and Yokozuna crushing Undertaker’s face last week.

Paul Bearer says that while Undertaker’s face is injured, he will return soon to hurt people.

Bret Hart vs. Isaac Yankem

Inside a cage in what was again originally a dark match that was added into the show, meaning the effort might not be so strong. Yankem hammers away in the corner to start but Bret comes back with some right hands. There’s the Russian legsweep to drop Yankem but it’s too early for Bret to escape. Bret cuts Yankem off as well, only to get dropped with a shot to the face. Lawler doesn’t want Yankem to leave, instead saying to “stomp a mudhole in him and walk it dry.”

Another escape attempt is cut off and Bret stomps Yankem down, only to get caught near the door. For some reason the referee can’t get the door open, which has Lawler revealing that he has switched the lock. We take a break and come back with Yankem going up and getting pulled right back down. The Sharpshooter goes on for a good while, at least until Bret decides he can go up.

Lawler is right there to cut him off though, drawing out Gorilla Monsoon to order his lackeys to put Lawler in the shark cage. Lawler, who is scared of heights, is raised into the air and screaming commences. Bret is pulled back over the top and slammed down as Vince is cracking up over Lawler screaming about a nose bleed. They keep slowly hitting each other as Lawler’s nose is bleeding (Vince: “You’re ok! You’re alright!”) and we take another break.

Back again with Lawler on his knees and screaming for help as Bret slugs away in the corner again. The side slam (not a backbreaker for some reason) lets Bret get over the top, only to be pulled back in. The DDS (yes DDS) plants Bret but he’s back up for another save as the crowd is just GONE. Yankem drops him again so Lawler throws the key down, allowing Yankem to….not open the door as Bret makes a save. Bret throws the key into the crowd, hits Yankem with the usual, and FINALLY climbs out to win.

Rating: D. Oh heck no, as this went about twenty minutes and had Bret in second gear at best. It was obvious that this wasn’t supposed to be on TV and was all about the live crowd, who didn’t care either. Horrible match which had no business making it to air but did anyway because they needed something to fill in most of the second half of this cobbled together show.

Some cable malfunctions leave Lawler hanging in the cage to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. This is the kind of show that gives 1995 WWF its reputation. The wrestling was bad, the stories weren’t interesting, and it was there to set up a Diesel vs. British Bulldog main event. Nitro felt like such a breath of fresh air over this stuff, which was literally built around two dark matches for the sake of getting another show together. Awful stuff and an all time bad episode.

 

 

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Prime Time Wrestling – July 10, 1989: And So, He Left

Prime Time Wrestling
Date: July 10, 1989
Hosts: Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Lord Alfred Hayes, Jesse Ventura, Vince McMahon

We continue our trip through the late 80s with a look at the post Wrestlemania V era. In other words, Hulk Hogan is the WWF Champion again and probably dealing with Zeus and former champion Randy Savage. Throw in a bunch of other matches to fill in some time and we should be in for a fun show. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Bobby Heenan and Gorilla Monsoon immediately get in an argument over who is the host of the show. Heenan wants more members of the Heenan Family around but Monsoon says there will be no members on the show this week. Instead, Heenan is stuck here with all of this Hulk Hogan stuff, so Monsoon threatens him with violence. That’s enough to make Heenan look at the run sheet instead. To the first match!

From the War Memorial in Rochester, New York on June 28, 1989.

Akeem vs. Chris Allen

Slick is here with Akeem, who hammers away with forearms to the back. A running crotch attack to the back connects and Akeem tells him to come on while calling him a big dummy. Some corner splashes set up a running corner splash and Air Africa (the big splash) finishes Allen at 2:05.

Bobby is still annoyed at the host/co-host stuff and says he’ll make Gorilla the host as well. For now though, Heenan sends us to the next match….or actually a break.

And now, Update with Gene Okerlund. This week we’ll be going back to the Brother Love Show, where Rick Martel introduced us to Slick as his new manager. Tito Santana came out and got called some various taco related names, earning Slick a right hand to the face. Santana and Martel got in a big brawl, with Santana getting the better of things.

Rick Martel is annoyed at Tito Santana and promises to teach Tito some manners. Slick knows Martel will fight for him.

Tito Santana says he slapped Martel’s manager and now he’s coming after Martel with all of his energy.

Back in the studio, Gorilla says Heenan should just get his own show. Heenan says he’s talented enough to do so but throws us to the next match instead.

From the Niagara Falls Convention Center in Niagara Falls, New York on June 27, 1989.

Brutus Beefcake vs. Chris Evans

Evans (whose name is given as Greg and Chris in various places) runs away from Beefcake to start and then gets punched in the face for his cowardice. A slam sets up the sleeper (with Brutus saying Macho Man is next) and Evans is done at 1:24.

Post match, Evans gets a hair cut.

Heenan complains about Gorilla bringing in all kinds of people on the show but he brings Brother Love on and gets mocked. Gorilla is having none of this.

From the Dane County Coliseum in Madison, Wisconsin on June 6, 1989.

Dino Bravo vs. Brad Perry

Jimmy Hart is here with Bravo and Ronnie Garvin is guest referee. Perrry is in rather good shape and even Jesse acknowledges that he’s impressive looking. Bravo shoves him down with straight power to start so Perry tries a wristlock. That earns him a hard clothesline to keep Bravo in control, setting up a piledriver. Garvin’s very slow count only gets one as Perry’s feet are in the ropes so Bravo hits the side slam. Bravo picks him up at two and then ties Perry in the Tree of Woe. The stomping is on and Garvin shoves Bravo away….before saying Perry wins by DQ at 2:27.

Post match, Garvin gets in a fist fight with Bravo so referees have to break it up.

Heenan isn’t pleased with Garvin but Gorilla says that a referee has the discretion to do what he thinks is right. Bobby takes this as Gorilla saying Garvin is biased, with Gorilla saying he could be perfectly fine without Heenan around. Heenan: “You could do time without me and be happy.” Well that escalated in a weird direction.

It’s time to talk about Summerslam, with Heenan saying Gorilla will be there because he has nothing else to do. Monsoon no sells it again.

From the War Memorial in Rochester, New York on June 28, 1989.

Bushwhackers vs. Barry Hardy/Sonny Austin

After the traditional head rubbing, Luke confuses Sonny so Butch can come in from behind. The distracted Sonny gets bitten on the trunks, allowing Butch to hit a clothesline. Hardy comes in and gets his arms tied up so Butch puts a hat on him before hitting him in the ribs. The Battering Ram drops Austin and the double gutbuster finishes for Luke at 2:27. Total squash with some comedy thrown in.

Back in the studio, Heenan is yelling at the director and fires him. Monsoon says that as the host, he has to deal with what Heenan does. He goes on a rant to Heenan and MONSOON SWEARS AT HIM, with Heenan saying no one could replace him. It would leave Monsoon trying to be the Brain and the Gorilla but Monsoon isn’t having this.

Sean Mooney talks about how Rick Rude has finally brought some gold to the Heenan Family by winning the Intercontinental Title.

Rude talks about how there are a lot of people sitting on a couch with their woman, but she “has a headache”. Just tell her to think about Rude and they’ll be set for the evening. Heenan laughs off the idea of anyone actually being a threat to Rude.

Jim Neidhart is very happy because he has Bret Hart as his partner. They’re great on their own but then it’s like a tank and a Ferrari when they get together as a team. It’s strange to hear him in a solo interview, especially when he’s talking about Bret.

Monsoon tells Heenan to jump if he’s feeling froggy. Heenan: “Ribbit.” Monsoon laughs before again mocking the lack of any Heenan Family members on the show.

From the War Memorial in Rochester, New York on June 28, 1989.

Honky Tonk Man vs. Al Bermice

Just after the bell, we get an inset interview from Jimmy Snuka, threatening Honky Tonk Man for a recent guitar attack. Honky Tonk Man kicks him down and drops some ax handles to the back to set up some neck cranking. Some elbows set up the Shake Rattle And Roll for the easy pin on Bermtice at 2:19.

Monsoon yells at Heenan for buying a black chair and sending him the $800 bill. Heenan promises to pay for it but Monsoon thinks he’ll be dead by then. That would mean Monsoon would need pall bearers to carry him, but Heenan has been carrying him for years. The ranting about how important Heenan is to the show continues, as does Monsoon cutting him off and sending us back to Sean Mooney, who sends us to Hercules for a chat.

Hercules talks about how he’s a real American who is ready for a hot summer. He thinks it’s funny that people like Dino Bravo and the Brooklyn Brawler can come after him, but he’ll cool them off.

The Fabulous Rougeau Brothers, with Jimmy Hart, make it clear that they are fabulous and brothers. They don’t think much of the Rockers, who have no class or style.

Mooney says no one seems to like the Rougeaus.

Remember Heenan and Gorilla bickering? They do it again here.

From the Metro Center in Rockford, Illinois on June 7, 1989.

Greg Valentine vs. Koko B. Ware

Jimmy Hart is here with Valentine. They circle each other for a bit before Valentine armdrags him down, much to Tony’s surprise. Back up and Valentine times him into the corner for the chops and elbows (kind of hammer-esque really). Ware is right back with some shots of his own, including a headbutt, which has Hart losing his mind.

A dropkick puts Valentine into the corner, setting up an atomic drop for that selling you only got in the 80s. Valentine rolls outside for a breather and comes back in off the top, including quite the slip, to hit Ware with a clothesline/fist. They slug it out again with Ware getting the better of things but Valentine sweeps the legs for a rollup and puts his feet on the ropes for the pin at 4:49.

Rating: C. This was a bit better as it had a mixture of some star power (or close to it) on both sides and some time, which is a lot better than you have been getting so far around here. It ended pretty quickly though, which isn’t exactly the best thing, but this was a longer match for this era of Prime Time. Throw in a Frankie cameo and it’s even better.

Post match here is Ronnie Garvin to say what happened, meaning it’s a reversed decision to give Ware the win.

Heenan isn’t sure if Koko or Frankie look smarter. Heenan: “Do you know how many people walk this earth that need to be insulted?” Monsoon doesn’t like the idea of Heenan lumping him in with that as tensions continue to rise.

We go to an undisclosed arena for a platform interview with Demolition. They don’t think much of the Twin Towers (Akeem/Big Boss Man) because they demolish things. The bigger they are, the harder Demolition can kick their teeth in. The Towers have Slick out here talking and jiving all the time, but if you want to impress someone, get your names on a contract. If the Slim Towers are that serious, meet them in the ring.

Heenan thinks the Brain Busters are going to end Demolition’s record reign as champions. He would be right actually, and it would happen before the end of the month.

Post break, Gorilla is on the phone, reiterating that none of the Heenan Family is going to be on the show this week. Heenan goes into the same rants he’s been on all show, saying he is staying here to keep the show on the air. Monsoon says anyone could fill his spot, so Heenan actually walks out. Gorilla isn’t convinced.

From the Dane County Coliseum in Madison, Wisconsin on June 6, 1989.

Jimmy Snuka vs. Tom Stone

We get an inset promo from the Genius, who doesn’t think much of Snuka. They circle each other to start until Stone grabs a lockup. That doesn’t last long as Snuka hits a crossbody for a fast two, setting up the big chop. Another big chop sets up a backbreaker and the Superfly Splash finishes Stone at 1:53. Not too bad considering they didn’t make contact for the first thirty seconds.

Gorilla is so impressed that he throws it to Sean Mooney for the Event Center.

Sean explains the (rather complicated) concept of Mr. Perfect, who is sick to his stomach about the lack of competition around here. Yes he is still perfect but no one can give him any kind of competition, so he’ll be staying perfect.

The Ultimate Warrior isn’t happy with losing the Intercontinental Title to Rick Rude but also wants to take out Andre the Giant. We shall conqueror the giant.

It’s time for Coliseum Corner, so Tony Schiavone runs down the 1989 Royal Rumble. For a preview, we see a few minutes of the six man tag from the show. Here’s the whole thing:

Dino Bravo/Fabulous Rougeaus vs. Jim Duggan/Hart Foundation

2/3 falls here. Anvil vs. Bravo gets things going and they collide a few times with no one going anywhere. Both guys miss elbows and it’s off to Duggan for a BIG reaction. Ray Rougeau comes in and is immediately slammed down and hit by a knee drop. Hart comes in to a small but audible reaction and gets two each off a small package and a sunset flip. Jacques comes in and things break down a bit with all three heels being caught in one corner where Anvil drives shoulders into them, crushing Ray against the corner under two other guys.

Ray FINALLY gets something in by low bridging Bret to send him to the floor. At the end of the day, when you need someone to sell something you call on Bret. Dino’s side suplex puts Bret down and The Rougeau Bomb gets the first fall. Bret and Ray start things off in the second fall with Hart in big trouble. Jacques comes in and sends Bret into the corner for the traditional chest first bump in the corner which gives Dino two.

Bravo puts on a bear hug for a bit before it’s back to Jacques. A sunset flip gives Bret a quick breather but he’s immediately put in a camel clutch. Anvil makes the save but as he’s being put back in the corner, Ray comes in and puts the same hold back on. That’s good stuff there. The heels take turns working over Bret until Jacques puts on a Boston Crab. Gorilla wants Duggan or Neidhart to come in and break the hold up, because you’ve got five seconds. I love the hypocrisy you would get from him at times.

Bret breaks the hold and tags in Anvil but the referee didn’t see it. That’s such a basic spot but you don’t see it much anymore. Ray puts on an abdominal stretch before it’s off to Jacques for the exact same hold. Bret FINALLY hits an atomic drop to break up the momentum and there’s the white hot tag to Duggan. Anvil hits a slingshot shoulder on Ray and a Duggan elbow drop ties the match up at a fall apiece.

Duggan pounds on Ray to start before going to the wrong corner to try to beat up both guys. Bravo hammers away a bit but rams Duggan’s head into the buckle for no effect at all. Duggan gets punched over into the corner and there’s the tag to Hart. Everything breaks down and Duggan hits Bravo with the board to give Hart the pin.

Rating: C. This was fine but Duggan’s reactions are amazing. The guy was probably the third most over guy in the company at this point, which is covering a lot of ground given how over some of the guys were in 1989. This was fine for an opener but the ending was never quite in doubt, which is ok.

Summerslam is still coming. They haven’t changed anything.

Monsoon has found a replacement host for next week but won’t say who.

From the War Memorial in Rochester, New York on June 28, 1989.

Ultimate Warrior vs. Mike Williams

Tony thinks Williams (though commentary sounded like the said Graham, even though that is not Mike Graham) is stupid for taking the match and there’s a big running clothesline to put Williams on the floor. Rick Rude gives us an inset interview to brag about beating Warrior at Wrestlemania. Warrior throws Williams back inside, signals for the gorilla press, hits the gorilla press, and drops the splash for the easy pin at 1:56.

Post match, Warrior carries him to the back. I’m not sure I want to know.

Gorilla tells the production staff to increase security to keep the Heenan Family out of the studio.

It’s time for the Brother Love Show (which used to scare the daylights out of me back in the day) with special guest Sensational Sherri. We’re not done though, as Sherri brings out Randy Savage, who brags about how great he is. Neither Hulk Hogan nor Brutus Beefcake can beat him so maybe they’ll jump him in a parking lot.

That could be a problem but Savage is the world’s greatest problem solver. Therefore, here is Zeus, the Human Wrecking Machine (and character from No Holds Barred, because that’s what they’re actually doing). Zeus looks rather disturbed as Savage issues the challenge for the tag match. Even Zeus is in on the challenge and promises to destroy Hogan and Beefcake. Love is thrilled too, as you might have expected, and demands an answer from Hogan and Beefcake.

Dusty Rhodes is now working in a butcher shop (with an apron over his bare chest) and has his coworker Ernest explain what kind of meat we’re seeing here. They make some ground beef and you can’t beat Dusty’s prices. Or his meat. I want more Ernest.

Heenan returns to the studio and Monsoon is not the slightest bit surprised. Actually Heenan isn’t back but rather just stopping by, because next week, Heenan is getting his OWN SHOW. He rips up a bunch of the set and even takes his name plate with him. Monsoon will be begging him to be on the show and he’ll be able to smell the bananas coming out of his pores.

From the War Memorial in Rochester, New York on June 28, 1989.

Ted DiBiase vs. Mario Mancini

DiBiase taunts him with the Million Dollar Title to start and gets armdragged down for running his mouth too much. That earns Mancini a shot to the face and a clothesline as DiBiase gets more serious. A powerslam sets up the Million Dollar Dream to finish Mancini at 1:25.

Here’s the address where you can send get well cards to Jake Roberts, which is certainly not the way WWE refreshes its mailing list.

Brutus Beefcake is ready to cut Randy Savage and Sherri’s hair. Then he’ll beat them up.

The Brooklyn Brawler can’t believe high Bobby Heenan has taken him and he can’t believe how many wins he has.

The Bobby Heenan Show will indeed be on next week and Gorilla is as excited as we are.

From the War Memorial in Rochester, New York on June 28, 1989.

Hillbilly Jim vs. Boris Zhukov

Boris bails from the threat of a horseshoe and then bails again due to being a scared Russian. Back in and they lock up for the first time after more than a minute and take turns backing the other against the ropes. Jim stomps on his foot (which seems appropriate from him) and we hit the headlock.

With that broken up, Jim cartwheels away from the threat of a backdrop and stomps on Boris’ foot again. It’s time to start in on Boris’ leg but he comes back with a shot to the face. There’s a headbutt to rock Jim again but hold on as he needs to go look at the horseshoe. The distraction is enough for Jim to fight up, only to be sent into the corner. Boris charges into a raised boot in the corner to give Jim the pin at 4:38.

Rating: D+. He got pinned off running into a boot in the corner. What kind of a rating did you expect a match like this one to get? Nothing to see with the match, but the country boy beating up the Russian is going to work very well in the 80s. That’s the kind of thing you don’t get enough of today: very easily identifiable characters who you can understand in five seconds.

Monsoon promises a new cohost.

Monsoon again promises a new cohost to wrap up the show.

Overall Rating: C-. I know there isn’t much in the way of quality wrestling on the show but that’s not the point of Prime Time. This show is about making the people in the company look good and letting you know what you might be seeing if you take in a house show. Think of it like window shopping via television, and in that regard, it worked rather well. Fun show too, especially with such a focus on Monsoon vs. Heenan, which always worked.

 

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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Prime Time Wrestling – June 17, 1987: Why Did I Wait So Long?

Prime Time Wrestling
Date: June 17, 1987
Hosts: Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan
Commentators: Dick Graham, Lord Alfred Hayes, Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan, Vince McMahon, Gorilla Monsoon, Bruno Sammartino

Oh boy it’s Prime Time. This was one of the big shows from the WWF, as it featured various matches from major house shows. That might not sound like much, but at the time, this was a pretty awesome deal. What makes it better is Gorilla Monsoon and Bobby Heenan as the hosts, giving us the legendary banter that made them one of the best duos of all time. This is from my favorite era in wrestling so hopefully I can have some fun with some of these. Let’s get to it.

This is a special Wednesday edition (as opposed to Monday) and dig that old desk with the old WWF toys!

Gorilla and Heenan (in a neck brace) welcome us to the show and run down the card, with Gorilla saying Brutus Beefcake could give Heenan a trim. Heenan says there is no way he’ll get back in the ring, even after his neck heals. To the ring!

From May 9, 1987 in at the Philadelphia Spectrum.

Corporal Kirschner vs. Nikolai Volkoff

Man these guys were fighting more than a year ago at Wrestlemania II. Kirschner charges the ring to prevent the Russian National Anthem and gets hit with the flag pole for his efforts. Kirschner comes back in and hammers away as Graham is already a bit rough to sit through. It’s like his voice is in slow motion. Volkoff gets in a cheap shot and ties him into the Tree of Woe (In 1987?) for a running knee to the ribs.

That’s enough for Kirschner to need a breather on the floor, with Volkoff following for a slam. A running knee keeps Kirschner outside and it works so well that Volkoff does it again. The third attempt earns Volkoff a crotching against the post and we take a break (with Monsoon and Heenan chiming in for a few seconds).

Back with no time having passed and Kirschner dropping a leg between the legs, plus a middle rope elbow for two. Volkoff is back up with a spinning kick to the ribs and a drop across the top like an evil Russian would. Some whips into the corner set up a bearhug (as is Volkoff’s custom), followed by a quick bow and arrow to stay on the back. That’s broken up so Kirschner dropkicks him to the floor and follows him out to hammer away. Back in and an elbow drop gives Kirschner two but he misses a charge into the corner. Volkoff is right back up with the gorilla press backbreaker for the pin at 10:17.

Rating: D+. This was pretty rough as they seemed to run out of things to do to each other by the end. It’s not like these two were exactly cut out for a longer match and it didn’t work out all that well in this case. Kirschner wasn’t exactly great in the ring, but he was so tough that no one was going to tell him no. You don’t get many people like that, but he was kind of done when he replaced Sgt. Slaughter but was a lower rank.

Bobby Heenan thinks Kirschner never had a chance but Monsoon doesn’t buy it. Monsoon moves on to Heenan signing the Islanders, which has Heenan rather proud. That makes sense to Monsoon, because Heenan is going to take all of their money.

It’s time for….a segment that doesn’t seem to have a name but tells you what is going on at the moment. We open with the Islanders having a technical match with the Can-Am Connection until Heenan showed up, which caused the Islanders to beat the fire out of them. A headbutt from the apron knocked Tom Zenk silly for a countout and Heenan was rather pleased.

Heenan is all fired up about his new team and wants the Tag Team Titles. Heenan: “I’VE DONE IT AGAIN!”

Back in the studio, Monsoon asks why Heenan has to turn everything into a big deal and why he couldn’t just say he has signed the team. Heenan says he likes the shock value, which sends Monsoon into a video on Superstar Billy Graham trying to learn how to walk again after a variety of injuries. Heenan can’t help it and goes into a series of jokes about how Graham can’t sue anyone because he doesn’t have a leg to stand on.

We go to the Arizona desert where Graham is moving around on a walker, as he talks about how he needs to get back. We also see him going through some rather tough physical therapy but Graham has insisted that he’ll be back.

Monsoon and Heenan talk about a FREE calendar you can get….if you’re one of 100 post cards they select. This was a move they would do every now and then to restock their mailing list and it’s kind of brilliant.

I think this is from May 13, 1987 at the Sports Arena in San Diego, California but it’s not clear. It also seems to be from Wrestling Challenge, which wouldn’t be out of the ordinary for Prime Time.

New Dream Team vs. Young Stallions

The New Dream Team (Dino Bravo/Greg Valentine) have Johnny V in their corner. Bravo drives Roma into the corner to start but he’s right back up with a dropkick, meaning the Dream Team needs a breather on the floor. We get a quick inset promo from the Fabulous Rougeau Brothers promising to be everywhere the Dream Team goes. Except here it seems.

Back in and Valentine takes over on Roma, including a suplex for two. A middle rope ax handle to the back sets up a jumping elbow for two but Valentine misses his big forearm. The hot tag brings in Powers to clean house, only to have Bravo get in a cheap shot from the apron. Valentine drops an elbow for the pin at 4:23.

Rating: D+. Well that was short. This wasn’t much of a match as it was mainly the Dream Team beating on Roma until Powers got to come in for a few seconds at the end. Commentary was hyping up the Stallions as future stars and then they just lose. I get that the Dream Team was new, but it was a weird way to go given the commentary.

Heenan is glad the Dream Team got rid of Brutus Beefcake but Monsoon doesn’t think Heenan’s memory is quite right.

Ken Patera is happy that he is out of prison and has paid his debt to society. Now all he wants is a second chance but that isn’t going to include Bobby Heenan. While Patera was in jail, Heenan was nowhere to be seen because weasels don’t make it through tough times.

Heenan says he doesn’t feel sorry for Patera (who put him in the neck brace), because Patera is the one who landed himself in jail. That ended their relationship and Heenan doesn’t care what happened to Patera’s family. Now Patera is blaming him, so Heenan will be taking care of him soon.

From the Philadelphia Spectrum on May 9.

Pedro Morales vs. Steve Lombardi

It’s weird seeing Lombardi without a shirt. Said shirtless Lombardi runs away from Morales to start as Pedro is all fired up (as is his custom). Back in and Lombardi forearms away, earning himself a slam from Morales. That’s enough for Lombardi to bail to the floor again as more breathing is needed. Back in again and Morales hits another slam, meaning Lombardi heads outside for the third time in less than three minutes.

Lombardi gets in again and this time claims a sore back to stall even more. Therefore we pause for some stretching before Lombardi misses a right hand and gets atomic dropped out to the floor (again). This time Lombardi comes back in with a rake to the eyes and a ram into the buckle but commentary isn’t buying Lombardi as a threat. On cue, Morales hits him in the ribs and adds a backdrop, setting up a backbreaker for the pin at 5:47.

Rating: D. This was a good example of a match that worked well for the live crowd but wasn’t much if you’re not a big Morales fan. It’s also a lesson in how to get through a match without doing much, as this was more than half Lombardi stalling on the floor. They didn’t bother trying to do anything more than the minimum here, which wasn’t the most thrilling stuff. The live fans seemed to like it though and that was the point of something like this.

Monsoon is glad that Heenan wasn’t around as a manager when he was in the ring. He knows Heenan would dump any of his clients at the drop of a hat, just like Patera. As you might expect, Heenan shrugs off the suggestions and we move on.

From the Convention Center in Anaheim, California on May 12, 1987. This seems to be from the June 6 Superstars.

Brutus Beefcake vs. Tim Patterson

Monsoon and Heenan make Pat Patterson/Terry Garvin jokes about Patterson in their intro for the not so subtle jabs. Brutus gets his own inset promo, promising to give the New Dream Team another cut. Patterson gets punched and slammed down to start as commentary talks about Beefcake’s gear. Vince: “Barbers are a little eccentric in general aren’t they?” The beating continues as commentary talks about Honky Tonk Man getting an undeserved Intercontinental Title shot next week. I’m sure that won’t go anywhere. Patterson fights back with some running shoulders but Beefcake is back with the sleeper at 2:40.

Post match, Patterson gets a haircut, possibly for taking a long time to go down from the sleeper.

Monsoon and Heenan bicker over how legitimate of a neck injury Heenan really has.

Gene Okerlund talks to Slick, who has quite the fashion sense. Slick says Gene has high class opinions of high class people and calls Gene “Holmes” before threatening to smack him in the head. Nikolai Volkoff and Butch Reed come in, with Slick saying they are the best of the best around. Reed thinks there are some jive turkeys running around here like Tito Santana and Junkyard Dog. Those people are trying to take money from him, and he gets mean when he has money. Volkoff thinks Americans should be proud that he is here in America. Buy Russian war bonds! This is still one of the oddest groupings ever and it’s great.

From the San Diego Sports Arena, May 13, 1987.

Don Muraco/Bob Orton Jr. vs. Sivi Afi/Corporal Kirschner

Mr. Fuji is here with Muraco and Orton and why are we getting two Kirschner matches on one show? Afi shoves Orton outside to start and it’s time for an early breather. Back in and Afi no sells some rams into the buckle (he’s foreign so he has a hard head you see) so it’s off to Kirschner. This means a discussion of being drafted, with Heenan saying he was 3Q, meaning too smart for the military. He could have been a six star general if he had actually gone in though, which Monsoon somehow manages to no sell.

Orton sends Kirschner outside and a distraction lets Muraco get in a cane shot to take over. A top rope shot to the back drops Kirschner again as Monsoon talks about how Kirschner has been pretty worthless as of late. It’s back to Afi, who gets taken down with a neckbreaker but comes right back with a high crossbody.

Kirschner gets to come in and glare at Muraco, setting up a clothesline. A dropkick sends Muraco over to Orton, who cuts Kirschner off with an atomic drop as Heenan praises the villains’ intelligence (kind of his thing). Muraco sends Kirschner into an elbow from Orton but it’s off to Afi anyway. The pace picks up for all of ten seconds before Muraco charges into a powerslam. What would become known as the Tombstone finishes Afi at 7:19.

Rating: D+. Muraco and Orton weren’t going to be the top team but they were fine as a pair of villains to give an up and coming team some trouble. That wasn’t exactly what they had here, making this a fairly long and not entirely squashy squash. Then again, what are you expecting from the forces of Afi and Kirschner?

Monsoon likes the new WWF Magazine, including a look at Ken Patera. Heenan wants to know where the prison number is.

Monsoon and Heenan introduce a women’s tag match and Heenan has no idea who they are.

From the Boston Garden on March 8, 1986.

Crush Girls vs. Donna Christianello/Judy Martin

Well this is a surprise. The Crush Girls (normally Gals) are Lioness Asuka/Chigusa Nagayo and in short, Christianello/Martin are going to be in a lot of pain. Nagayo isn’t having any of this getting hammerlocked thing and takes Christianello down into a hammerlock of her own. It’s back to Martin, who has to avoid Asuka’s kick to the head. Asuka gets the better of an exchange of kicks to the ribs and it’s a very fast sunset flip for two.

Christianello comes back in for a front facelock but a forearm sends Asuka over to Nagayo as Hayes can’t keep track of these names. An elbow to the head sends Martin outside and she looks rather scared of what she’s gotten herself into. Back in and Christianello offers a handshake, which of course suckers Asuka in so the villains can take over. We take a break and come back with Martin elbowing Asuka in the face, only to have her nip right back up.

Nagayo comes back in but gets kicked in the chest for a quick knockdown. Some choking in the corner has Nagayo in more trouble as commentary brags about all of the international media here. A few right hands allow the tag off to Asuka though and it’s time to clean house in a hurry. Asuka dropkicks Martin and hits a slam for two as the beating is on.

Nagayo gets on the middle rope so she can be tagged in (you know Monsoon isn’t having that) and it’s a Sharpshooter as Monsoon can’t remember if Nagayo is a tiger or a lioness (with Hayes having to make the save). Asuka accidentally clotheslines Nagayo down but they’re both back up for a double punch (I think?) to Martin’s ribs. A bunch of elbows keep Martin….well not really in trouble as she pops up to hit Asuka in the face. Christianello comes in and gets caught in a giant swing for the pin at 15:31.

Rating: C+. This is such an odd match, not just for the participants but also the fact that it got some serious time. You don’t see modern women’s matches breaking fifteen minutes but here you have this one, in 1986 no less, getting far more time than anything else on the show. Martin and Christianello weren’t exactly a seasoned team like the Girls, but dang this was a fun surprise.

Heenan claims to be on the phone with the Crush Girls before moving on to this week’s main event. Monsoon asks what George Steele has to do to get by Kamala, and Heenan suggests buying a machine gun. Or give up during the instructions. Then the Hogan figure on the desk falls over, which Heenan says is how he’ll be kneeling before King Harley Race. That’s the kind of quick wit that made Heenan a legend.

From the Philadelphia Spectrum on May 9.

Kamala vs. George Steele

Kim Chee and Mr. Fuji are here with Kamala. Steele looks confused (as is his nature) but he knows to avoid a charging Kamala as the bell rings. A few right hands put Kamala on the floor and it’s time for an early breather. Kim Chee gives some instructions (“Don’t look directly at the hairy chest.”) and Steele scares Kamala right back into the ropes. Steele starts poking at Kamala, who runs off again as this isn’t exactly an action packed spectacle.

Back in and Steele destroys a turnbuckle so Kamala runs away from the pieces of padding. Kim Chee’s distraction finally lets Kamala get in a shot from behind and Steele goes shoulder first into the exposed buckle. Since Kamala doesn’t quite know how to follow up, Steele grabs a foreign object to knock Kamala silly. Another Kim Chee distraction, this time in the form of a trip, lets Kamala hit a splash but a top rope version misses. Steele, ever the easily distracted one, chases Kim Chee off and that’s a countout at 6:03.

Rating: D+. I know it wasn’t very good and was little more than a comedy match, but this was the kind of goofy fun that I like from a show like this one. This was a lot better than seeing these two try to have a regular match and it’s nice to see that they understood the limitations they were under. Not a good match, but it was entertaining in a wacky way.

Post match Steele comes back with Kim Chee’s cane and pith helmet. He hits Kamala in the ribs with one and puts another on his head. I’m assuming you know which is which.

Heenan doesn’t think much of Steele but Monsoon isn’t convinced.

Try to get that calendar!

Heenan wants to tell us what’s coming next Wednesday but finds out that they’re going back to the regular Monday time to mess with him one more time.

Roll credits.

Overall Rating: C-. Prime Time Wrestling isn’t a show you often go to for classic action, but I had a great time with this. It was the big show of its day and you could see some of the top stars and goings on of the time. I’ll be doing some more of these, just for the sake of having some fun. That’s what wrestling is often supposed to be and that’s what I was getting out of this, despite it not having the best wrestling in the world.

 

 

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New Column: Thank You Wrestling

It still does things to me.

 

https://wrestlingrumors.net/tommyhall/kbs-review-thank-wrestling/




Thought of the Day: When Commentary Sounded Real

Somehow, it’s much more real than in the reality era.

Since we have the WWE Network (still the greatest thing for any wrestling fan), I’ll often throw on an old pay per view just for some background noise while I’m working on something else. The other day I threw on Survivor Series 1988 and heard the following discussion between Gorilla Monsoon and Jesse Ventura when Jacques Rougeau was tagged into the match:

Jesse: “Which Rougeau is that? Is that Jacques or Raymond?”

Gorilla: “That is Jacques. He’s a little bit taller than his brother.”

Jesse: “Oh that’s Jacques, ok. I get those two confused.”

And that’s it. No insults, no jokes about how Jesse is stupid, no laughing and ignoring the match and no stupid bickering between the two over some petty feud that only they care about while the match is ignored. This felt like a simple, realistic conversation between two people watching a wrestling match. The Rougeaus may not have been twins but it might have been difficult to remember at times (I couldn’t remember which Hardy was which until about 2001) and it’s not ridiculous for Jesse to be confused, or for Gorilla to say which one it is and give him a way to remember it.

Today, this would set off a minute long argument between Corey Graves and Byron Saxton because they have to fight every chance they get over whatever stupid thing is going on at the moment, all while the match is completely ignored. Then Cole will laugh about something and plug whatever is coming later in the night, ignoring the match even further.

It’s such a different world of commentary and shows just how forced and scripted things have become today. Let these people sound normal and see if it’s not way more effective.




New Column: Tea and Crumpets, Bagels and Other Baked Commentary Goods

Also known as Squire Dave Taylor Needed A Hype Man.

https://wrestlingrumors.net/kbs-review-tea-crumpets-bagels-baked-commentary-goods/




Monday Night Raw – December 6, 1993: Come Back Bobby

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 6, 1993
Location: Westchester County Civic Center, White Plains, New York
Attendance: 3,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Bobby Heenan

Dang I just finished the January 1994 shows and now I get to see how we got there. We’re just past the Survivor Series where Lex Luger and AMERICA defeated the evil foreigners (one of them all the way from Hawaii) but more importantly, Bret and Owen Hart took their first steps towards an amazing feud. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks back at Shawn Michaels attacking Razor Ramon during a match against Diesel. The 1-2-3 Kid made the save and we’ve got a match tonight. This was around the time when Shawn was suspended for a steroids violation while still Intercontinental Champion. He returned and claimed to still be champion, setting up a huge feud.

Vince and Bobby preview the show.

Shawn Michaels vs. 1-2-3 Kid

Shawn has the Intercontinental Title but isn’t champion. They start fast with Kid firing off the kicks to send Shawn outside for a springboard dive. We hit a long headlock until Kid makes the mistake of trying to climb the corner, allowing Shawn to suplex him down for the break. That’s fine with Kidd who sends Shawn shoulder first into the post, only to dive into a powerslam on the floor.

We take a break and come back with Shawn working on the ribs to keep things slow, which isn’t something you often see Michaels do. Another suplex gives Shawn two and it’s off to a backbreaker. Back up and a spinning kick sets up even more kicks (to be fair, kids don’t have the most varied offense), only to miss something like a Swanton as we take a second break.

Just like earlier we come back to Shawn in control and hitting a Razor’s Edge, only to pull the Kid up at two. Vince thinks that should be a DQ because Vince has some weird ideas at times. A second Razor’s Edge brings out Razor Ramon to chase Shawn up the aisle. Shawn trips but Diesel gets in a cheap shot from the curtain as I’m guessing the match was thrown out somewhere in there, even though it should have been a countout win for the Kid.

Rating: B. Good match here as the Kliq (not yet formed of course) continues to be the best workers in the company and are always more than willing to work with each other. This was much better than your average match around this time, which isn’t exactly shocking given who was in there.

Shawn gives Razor the Edge on the floor, albeit nearly in slow motion to prevent a bad case of death. A second Edge keeps Razor in trouble as Vince is LOSING IT on commentary.

Quebecers vs. Bert Centeno/Mike Walsh

Non-title. Centeno starts with Jacques and slaps him in the face before bailing out to the floor. Walsh comes in and is sent hard into the corner as the beating begins. A backdrop sends Pierre onto Centeno and the Cannonball ends a long squash.

Rating: D. It’s not a good sign when the best part of the match was Johnny Polo sitting in a chair with his feet up reading a magazine. Then again, Polo was often the best part of the Quebecers’ matches. These squashes are only going to get you so far and the Quebecers weren’t the best option in the first place.

Post match Centeno is put in Polo’s chair and clotheslined out.

Royal Rumble ad.

Owen Hart doesn’t want to hear about Bret winning Superstar of the Year. He has a surprise coming.

Doink the Clown vs. Tony DeVito

DeVito is nice enough to let Doink stroll Dink around before we get going. Dink gets on the apron for no apparent reason as DeVito gets caught in an armbar. Another takedown keeps Tony in trouble as you can hear the crowd going very quiet for this, which isn’t the biggest surprise. Dink is still on the apron and being rather annoying but that’s standard for him.

A German suplex drops DeVito and we hit a headlock as we hear about Star Wars airing on USA. Another takedown has Vince complaining about how many times Doink has done pretty much the same thing. The Whoopee Cushion ends a squash that has me longing for the Quebecers match.

Rating: D-. WAY too long here as Doink has lost everything after turning heel. This was a really boring match and Dink continues to be far more annoying than he really should have been. Given that he’s a small clown, that’s quite a bit of an accomplishment. Bad squash with the five minute runtime being ridiculous.

Jeff Jarrett and his unnamed friend (with his awesome hat) walk the streets of Nashville and complain about never getting a break.

We look back at Crush attacking Randy Savage, which somehow got Savage suspended.

Crush vs. Tony Roy

Heenan says Mr. Fuji is very happy because tomorrow is the anniversary of Pearl Harbor. This is the regular phone call match with Savage calling in from the United Kingdom. Crush shrugs off the offense and hits a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker as we hear about Savage’s time as a macho baby. The slow beating continues as Savage’s reception cutting in and out. I think he’s giving us a salad recipe though. A gorilla press onto the top rope puts Tony away.

Rating: D. This was all about the phone call which was all to set up Savage making his in-ring return next week to face Fatu. The best part though was Vince telling Bobby that Gorilla Monsoon called in earlier today but it was a LOCAL call. The fear in Heenan’s voice was perfect and I think that might be leading somewhere.

We run down next week’s card and heeeeeere’s Gorilla. Monsoon has good news and bad news for Heenan. The good news is he’s won a free trip. Heenan: “I don’t care to go anywhere!” The bad news is Monsoon grabs him by the jacket and literally drags him out of the arena. Heenan’s luggage is waiting next to the door as Gorilla throws both him and it out of the building (and the company as he was off to WCW). Heenan looks close to tears as he salutes the building and leaves.

Overall Rating: C+. That one match really is enough to carry the whole show but the ending is actually a little sad. Heenan never was his old self in WCW and it’s a shame to see him go. At least it was in a funny moment with Monsoon getting to do it. Those two had some of the best chemistry ever and Heenan’s line of “I wish Monsoon was here” at the Hall of Fame gets me every time. Not a good show, but check out that opener.

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Main Event – December 16, 2016: Making My Christmas Merry

Main Event
Date: December 15, 2016
Location: Wells Fargo Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Byron Saxton, Michael Cole, Corey Graves

The dates on these shows continue to be all over the place as you hear about the show being on Friday but it’s already available, making me wonder why I care about these things in the first place. It’s been firmly established that this show has been taken over by the unstoppable force that is Darren Young vs. Jinder Mahal. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

SWEET! IT’S ANOTHER SPECIAL EPISODE! I’m assuming nothing was taped due to 205 Live being moved to Monday this week as Tuesday was Tribute to the Troops.

We’ll start with a match from Raw.

TJ Perkins vs. Brian Kendrick

An early wristlock doesn’t get Kendrick very far and he has to bail from the kneebar. The Wrecking Ball dropkick knocks Brian outside and we take a break. Back with Perkins hitting a jumping spin kick to the head and a springboard missile dropkick for two. The Captain’s Hook is countered into the kneebar so Kendrick dives over to the ropes. Back up and Sliced Bread #2 gives Kendrick the pin at 8:24.

Rating: C-. So flash back to any time these two have fought in the last few months and update the details as necessary. This wasn’t interesting because neither of the wrestlers are interesting. The triple threat has some potential but for the life of me I never need to see these two fight again.

Our first flashback shows Kane and Daniel Bryan exchanging presents. Bryan gets a Slammy and Kane gets…..a puppy! Kane: “Thanks. I’m starving!” Bryan: “NO! NO! NO!” I miss these two together.

And now, Ebenezer Piper. Oh this could be glorious. Jacob Marley comes to visit and tells him that three guests will be visiting the rotten Piper tonight. First up is the Ghost of Christmas Past and Piper makes jokes about his shoes. This goes nowhere so the Ghost of Christmas Present shows Piper how bad the Cratchits have things this year. Piper won’t give up his Scotch tape (it doesn’t make much more sense in context) so the Ghost leaves.

Finally we have the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come (Piper: “You don’t shave under your arms do you?”) and of course he shows Piper his grave. Roddy throws him out and that’s it. This really wasn’t funny and it’s just the standard Christmas Carol with Piper doing some of his standard jokes.

Long video on Sasha Banks vs. Charlotte.

We go back to December 2001 with the Rock in the ring talking about Test. Rock likes Test so much that he’s going to sing a little rendition of the 12 Days of Christmas. He lists off some things that Test is going to go through, including five seconds of the people chanting the Rock’s name. This was really fast but I’d completely buy Rock doing this off the cuff.

Back in 2012, Alberto Del Rio hit Santa with his car. This set up Cena vs. Del Rio in a Miracle on 34th Street Fight and I think you can get the idea. During the match, Santa took a turn for the worse but, with his heart rate monitor to the beat of Jingle Bells, he came out to help Cena get the win. It turned out that Santa had a sock in his belt and a certain Mandible Claw was used.

Back in 1990, Bobby Heenan gave Gorilla Monsoon a banana. Heenan got some tools, which he used to break the janitor’s present. It turns out he got things a bit backwards though and broke his own present: a Rolex. Cue the wah wah wah music.

In 1997, a kid told Santa he wasn’t real so Steve Austin came out and Stunned the imposter for not knowing what Austin wanted when he was six. Jim Cornette: “He cracked Kris’ Kringle!”

We see the last ten seconds of New Day’s first triple threat win, plus the events that set up the main event. Only the last few minutes of the main event airs but New Day breaks the record. We also get the post match spear to Kevin Owens.

A rundown of Sunday’s card wraps up the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This is a situation where your individual tastes will vary wildly. This show wasn’t about much other than filling in time because they didn’t tape anything new. I’d much rather see something like this than just Raw matches though and it’s always cool to crack open the video library. Other than that pretty bad Piper thing, all of the clips were either short enough to not be bad or funny enough on their own. Good show this week and instantly more entertaining than two jobbers having a dull match.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Main Event – November 22, 2016: Please Let It Be Here To Stay

Main Event
Date: November 22, 2016
Location: Air Canada Centre, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Tom Phillips, David Otunga

I’m hoping that being past Survivor Series isn’t going to change this show’s rather entertaining run. A lot of acts weren’t on Smackdown this week so it should be interesting to see what we get for original content. The tag teams almost all performed on the big show, which doesn’t leave me with the best options. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

We open with….Cathy Kelly in the studios. This isn’t going to be the normal Main Event is it?

We see the last few minutes of Seth Rollins vs. Kevin Owens on Monday.

Charlotte is thankful for all her peasants.

With the Gobbledy Gooker walking behind Kelly, she throws us to a clip from the Thanksgiving Smackdown from November 23, 2000 with William Regal ripping on Thanksgiving for being everything wrong with America. Cue the Rock, who is back home here in Fort Lauderdale. Rock sees nothing wrong with unbuttoning your pants after eating Thanksgiving dinner and thinks Regal is something censored. After telling Regal that it doesn’t matter if he’s being besmirched, Rock offers to stick a drumstick in a certain place to wrap this up. This was basically “I’m the Rock and I’m awesome.”

Package on Brock Lesnar vs. Goldberg.

Here’s Goldberg’s opening speech from Monday.

Here’s Goldberg getting the full entrance to open things up. Goldberg thanks the fans for letting him be Goldberg again. He also thanks his wife and son for putting up with him and he got to be a star again one more time. Last night he ran into Stephanie McMahon who said he did have one more spear and Jackhammer in him (three spears and two Jackhammers if you’re counting) but the question is does he have one more title run left in him. The fans go NUTS over that prospect and Goldberg says he’s in the Royal Rumble.

Bayley is thankful for the hugs, her best friend Sasha Banks, being on Raw, her New Day sweater and all the fans. She’s just so freaking adorable.

Back to Prime Time Wrestling for Thanksgiving 1986 with Gorilla Monsoon on his own….and here’s Bobby Heenan as a pilgrim. Heenan, with a graphic listing him as John Smith, talks about planning a Thanksgiving party but Gorilla brings in a turkey named Tommy. Bobby (er…John) is quickly chased off.

Video on the debut of the Gobbledy Gooker, which I believe first aired on an episode of Countdown. After the video, Cathy keeps talking about the Gooker and you can still see him in the control room behind her.

Video on various Thanksgiving feasts over the years and their associated food fights.

Alexa Bliss vs. Naomi

Bliss gets in her face to start and can’t believe Naomi would shove her down. That earns her another takedown and Naomi grabs a front facelock. Bliss gets knocked to the floor and kicked in the face, only to have a trip take Naomi down as we take a break. Back with Bliss standing on the yellow/green hair before stomping away for a bit.

The moonsault double knees get two and we get Alexa’s crazy eyes. Alexa runs into some boots in the corner and we get the high speed comeback. Those dancing kicks set up a high crossbody for two on Bliss but she sends Naomi very hard into the buckle. A DDT sets up Twisted Bliss for the pin at 12:05.

Rating: C-. The crowd wasn’t all that interested but this was actually taped after Smackdown went off the air so there’s a good chance that a lot of the fans were leaving. I’d be curious to see if that’s the case going forward with the impending debut of 205 Live. Bliss is great at being a villain and has a ton of charisma but there’s only so much you can do in front of an uninterested crowd.

Overall Rating: B. I really, really hope this is how Main Event starts going as I had a great time with the old school segments. WWE has such an amazing video vault and it’s really annoying when they roll out the same handful of clips over and over without changing a thing.

You can do more than the same Gobbledy Gooker and various Survivor Series clips and that’s what they actually did here. Have some fun instead of just taking the easy way out over and over again. Hopefully this is how things keep going in the future because it was a lot of fun.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Monday Night Raw – July 8, 1996: The Other Third Man

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 8, 1996
Location: Brown County Expo, Green Bay, Wisconsin
Attendance: 4,660
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

We’re coming up on In Your House IX, which was barely mentioned last week. To be fair though, it’s not like anyone cared about that waste of a show so they might as well just punt for the next two weeks and be done with it. The big deal this week is Ultimate Warrior’s last appearance for nearly 18 years due to him leaving the company (again) before this was taped, meaning he’s making “one last special appearance” here. Let’s get to it.

WWF President Gorilla Monsoon suspends Ultimate Warrior indefinitely for not appearing at house shows. He can come back if he posts an appearance bond to guarantee that he’ll show up as advertised in the future. Oh but he’s here tonight to face Owen Hart.

Opening sequence.

Ultimate Warrior vs. Owen Hart

Owen is sent outside to start and let’s go to Shawn Michaels and Ahmed Johnson to ask who they’ll be teaming with on Sunday. We’ll find that out later so we’ll look at Warrior slamming Owen instead and then clotheslining him out to the floor. A side slam plants Owen before Warrior no sells a spinwheel kick. Owen stomps away and we take a break. Back with Owen stomping even more and hitting a loud enziguri for no cover. A missile dropkick (Owen really likes using his feet) gets two and the kickout sends Owen out to the floor. Here’s the British Bulldog as Warrior Hulks Up, only to have Bulldog come in for the DQ.

Rating: C+. So that’s it for the Warrior, who left because his dad died, despite not really having anything to do with his dad for years. This got really nasty between Warrior and the company and led to them having no relationship for the better part of twenty years. Yeah Warrior was basically nuts but they completely buried him on the way out, which is rather petty.

Camp Cornette destroys Warrior post match and that’s that.

Shawn and Ahmed promise to reveal the third man. This has to be a bit of a rib or something at Hogan’s expense right? I mean it’s not funny (nor is it meant to be) but I’m sure there’s something there.

Savio Vega vs. Justin Hawk Bradshaw

Brian Pillman tries to jump Savio but gets held back. They slug it out to start with Savio hitting a spinwheel kick over the corner, only to get caught in a bulldog (required move for almost all Texans, or at least cowboys). Another slugout goes nowhere until Uncle Zebekiah punches Savio in the ribs. Lawler thinks John Travolta is the third man and Vince’s reaction is exactly what you would expect.

We hit the sleeper on Savio but Bradshaw switches over to a chinlock to really mix things up. The discussion moves on to the third man, which turns into an Abbott and Costello routine. It’s back to the sleeper for a long time so now let’s have a phone call from Mr. Perfect to give the announcers ANYTHING else to talk about. We take a break and come back with Mr. Perfect gone and Bradshaw hitting a pumphandle slam. This match just keeps going as Savio avoids a charge and gets in a suplex to put both guys down. Zebekiah grabs the wrong foot and Savio hits a leg lariat to FINALLY end this.

Rating: D-. Sweet goodness what a mess. This is the definition of a match that just keeps going and serves no purpose other than filling in time on a show that isn’t interesting in the first place. That’s the major problem around this time: there’s nothing interesting about these two fighting because there’s no reason for them to have a fifteen minute match. Why would I want to sit and watch a long match with no story between uninteresting characters?

Zebekiah and Bradshaw use various cowboy instruments to beat Savio down.

Shawn and Ahmed still won’t say who it is.

Clips from a rally before a show.

British Bulldog/Yokozuna vs. Godwinns

Jim Cornette sits in on commentary and promises a lawsuit due to the Godwinns’ animals. Henry runs Bulldog over to start but Vader comes in to destroy him. Cornette tries to figure out the Warrior suspension angle and says Warrior is running from Camp Cornette but it didn’t work either. Henry actually suplexes Vader before shouldering the monster down. It’s off to Phineas for a horrible looking splash so Vader takes his head off with a clothesline.

Bulldog comes in and gets caught in a bulldog (make your own joke) as the slow brawling continues. We hit a chinlock on Henry before Bulldog just hits him in the back a few times. This match just keeps going as Vader hits a splash for two as Vince tells us that we can’t get a promised Undertaker video. Maybe you should cut down on fifteen minute Bradshaw vs. Vega match. The Vader Bomb crushes Henry and we take a break. You know, because Vader’s finisher can’t beat HENRY GODWINN.

Back with Bulldog suplexing Henry for two and bringing Vader back in to keep this going. Henry actually catches a charging Vader in a powerslam, drawing Cornette off commentary and into his manager’s role. The un-hot tag brings in Phineas as Cornette is back on commentary and calling his team idiots. Everything breaks down and Bulldog hits the powerslam (without even running) for the pin on Phineas.

Rating: D. Again just long here in a match that could have wrapped up about ten minutes earlier than it should have. Somehow this was an upgrade over the previous match though, perhaps due to Bulldog and Vader being a lot more entertaining than Vega or Bradshaw. This really could have been better if they just cut off about five minutes but this is what we’re stuck with because Raw sucks.

Jim Cornette isn’t worried about the new partner so Shawn and Ahmed bring in Sid to send Cornette through the roof to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. Another way too long and boring show with a bunch of matches that fans weren’t interested in seeing and a really bad way of sending Warrior off. The Sid idea was about as good as they were going to get and I’m fine with the WHO IS THE THIRD MAN thing as they did it for one night and made it fine enough to work. This cycle can’t end soon enough though so we can get on to the Summerslam build.

 

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