It’s that time of year again. It’s time for TNA to pretend that they’re a major wrestling promotion by offering a pay per view that most people aren’t going to watch that is supposed to lead them into their potential war against Smackdown. The main event is allegedly Drew Galloway defending the World Title against Lashley in a TKO or submission only match for reasons that have been forgotten in the weeks of build. Let’s get to it.

We’ll start with the match TNA has announced as the official opener as Trevor Lee defends the X-Division Title against DJZ, Andrew Everett and Eddie Edwards in the match that was easy to predict because this is what the X Title is these days (or these years actually: a match you throw onto a show after a very weak build for the sake of talking about the good old days when people cared about it. The position on the card or whoever fights for the thing doesn’t matter as long as the title is treated as a complete afterthought.

As for the match itself, I’ll go with Edwards getting the belt to set up a match against Helms at Bound For Glory which isn’t going to be the most interesting either. Helms debuted last October and has done a grand total of almost nothing since, other than naming a small stable after himself and teasing an in ring debut that might get some minor attention. Edwards winning makes sense here and could give the title some more false hope of meaning anything going forward.

Dang I’ve been a bit bitter this time. Maybe the next match will be a bit better.

We also have an Al Snow match as his new French team faces the comedy duo of Grado and Mahabali Shera which should be destined for the pre-show. This is a feud that has been built up for a few weeks now and still has no real reason to exist other than to make Al Snow look more important than everyone else in the match. The French guys could be something interesting in the future but I really don’t expect them to be anything more than long term Wolves fodder. I’ll go with them to win here but we’ll likely get a rematch on Impact so Grado and Shera can get their comedit win.

Braxton Sutter has a match against an opponent to be named. I’m sure this will be a squash but Sutter impressed me a lot on Tuesday so I’m fine with this one getting a pay per view spot. It probably won’t get much time but at least it should be entertaining while it lasts.

Back to the title matches as we have Jade defending the Knockouts Title against Sienna. Jade is a really sad case as it’s clear that TNA wants to focus the whole division on Gail Kim but felt the need to take the title off of her for a bit before getting back to her, likely in a big moment at Bound For Glory as she’s entered into the Hall of Fame. Notice how even in a preview for the title match I keep talking about Gail Kim? See how similar it is to TNA? Sienna likely wins here so they can switch the title to Kim in October but at least it would kill off the dead Jade title reign and end its misery.

Decay should easily retain the titles over the BroMans, who are just thrown out there because Beer Money isn’t around anymore. As much a I’ve enjoyed Raquel as the latest eye candy around the pool and in the gym, she’s not going to be enough to get the suddenly much better BroMans another title reign. Decay has actually been a lot of fun lately and I can’t imagine they’re losing the titles to anyone but the Wolves, because they’re the Gail Kim of the tag division.

I’ll go with Drake to keep the King of the Mountain Title as Bram turns into TNA’s hybrid version of Cesaro and Ryback: he might get a quick push but at the end of the day he’s there to put someone over instead of getting himself over. Drake is going to have to cheat as hard as he can to win this thing but he’s been on fire lately and deserves some recognition for all that effort.

Now we get to the big stuff and we’ll start with the third biggest match on the card as Drew Galloway defends the World Title against Lashley in a TKO/Submission only match. Basically the two of them have been brawling for months and somewhere in there Dixie Carter had this darlin idea of mixing MMA and TNA rules because that’s what fans want to see when they watch professional wrestling.

I’ll go with Galloway to retain as Lashley is really just a glorified monster, albeit a rather good one. The stipulations would seem to favor Lashley, even though he made Kurt Angle tap out a few months ago. I’m not really wild on this match and it’s going to feel a little flat as a main event on a show like this. Still though, Galloway retains.

Next up is the match I’ve been looking forward to more than any other on the show as Ethan Carter III gets his rematch with Mike Bennett. These two have had the best feud TNA has produced in a LONG time and most of it is due to having two young guys with different personalities fighting each other. It’s been fun and the matches have worked, making this feud one of the big reasons that TNA has been tolerable. I’m sure this is going to be really entertaining as well and one of the better matches of the night.

That leaves us with the real main event. It won’t go on last but given how TNA has gone over the last few months, it’s very clear that this is the most important match of the night, at least in their eyes. We have Matt Hardy (now looking like a homeless Shakespearean actor) against Jeff Hardy (who may or may not be Willow half the time) in a Full Metal Mayhem match.

I don’t remember the last time a feud has turned me off on a promotion worse than this one has with TNA. They’ve treated this as the be all and end all feud of TNA when it’s really just the same thing we’ve seen time after time. I’m really not even sure why they’re fighting other than Matt is obsessed with getting rid of his brother. One week they were having an I Quit match that ended in a draw and now it’s this completely over the top feud with so bad they’re good vignettes.

I’m sure Jeff is going to do something completely stupid that no one will be able to follow because that’s how TNA works. There are better and more important feuds, but Matt vs. Jeff is their version of Austin vs. Rock for whatever reason and the fans not wanting to stick around really doesn’t matter to TNA. The match should be entertaining but as usual it’s the trip to the dentist office of wrestling: the end result is better than you were expecting but that doesn’t mean it was fun getting here. I’ll actually take Matt to win, likely putting him back in the World Title hunt because he’s a Hardy and that’s where he belongs.

One final note: Gail Kim vs. Maria is off due to Maria breaking her hand. There’s always the chance they’ll swap in Allie to take her place though and if that’s the case, I’ll take Gail to win a good match.

Overall, I really do not want to see Slammiversary, This insanely booked Hardy vs. Hardy feud has just crippled my interest in the show in recent weeks and I don’t see that getting any better anytime soon. If Matt vs. Jeff closes the show over the better or more important match, I’m going to be taking a break from TNA to keep myself from going insane. The show has the potential to be entertaining but TNA needs to nail something special tomorrow night, which I really don’t expect them to do. I mean, it’s not like they ever really do.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on NXT: The Full Sail Years Volume II at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Impact Wrestling
Date: June 7, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

It’s the go home show for Slammiversary and the big question is what the heck Matt and Jeff Hardy are going to do after last week’s bizarre video from inside Matt’s barn with the fake baby and difficult to destroy table. Good or bad, it’s been a hot topic in wrestling ever since so they’re doing something right. Let’s get to it.

We open with a clip from Matt attacking Jeff.

Here’s Matt in the arena to a JEFF IS BETTER chant. Matt talks about how Jeff was jealous of Matt being World Champion so he had to be destroyed. That’s why you won’t see Jeff here tonight, tomorrow or on Sunday. However, before Matt can be whole again, he needs his World Title back. This brings out Drew Galloway, who Matt says would never be champion without Jeff’s help. Matt wants to be added to the main event of Slammiversary but Drew says no. Hardy calls him a coward so Drew agrees to defend the title tonight against Matt.

Madison Rayne vs. Sienna

Winner gets Jade (at ringside here) for the title on Sunday. Allie offers an early verbal distraction, allowing Sienna to get in a few cheap shots from behind. Sienna starts working on the back but can’t hit the AK-47 (that spinning faceplant as dubbed by Dinero). Madison gets in a dropkick but a few shots to the back sets up the AK-47 for the pin and the title shot at 2:33.

Post match Jade saves Madison from a beating. Can we just get the title on Sienna so Gail can get it back in the big special moment at Bound For Glory? You know, for a change of pace.

Maria and Mike Bennett say they’ll win tonight.

Eli Drake is on a mountain and tells Bram to come get him.

Here’s Eli Drake for Fact of Life. Drake’s guest is….himself. Yeah last week he beat Bram because Bram is a dummy. He’ll be champion as long as he wants but tonight he wants to recognize some other champions so here’s Decay. Drake compares them to a basketball team and thinks Rosemary might be the hottest Knockout around under all that makeup. He asks how they’re going to take the BroMans apart on Sunday so Steve talks about all the evil inside them. Abyss says the BroMans aren’t beautiful and they’ll decay at Slammiversary.

Cue the BroMans and Raquel to say they want a fight tonight. A match is teased and it’s Grado and Mahabali Shera coming out because we were starting to get a bit serious. Drake says they should be worried about the Tribunal and presses the DUMMY button a lot. The Tribunal comes out for the big brawl and Bram attacks Drake from behind as we go to a commercial.

Eli Drake/Decay/Tribunal vs. Mahabali Shera/Grado/BroMans/Bram

Shera works on Drake’s arm to start and Eli bails from Bram in a hurry. Abyss comes in and hammers away on Bram before Steve bites his forehead. It’s off to Robbie for a beating from Steve and then another one from Baron Dax as Al Snow continues blowing his whistle. He’s a coach now you see. Basile chinlocks Robbie for a good while but Robbie gets up and brings in Robbie.

A quick BroDown drops Steve but Abyss makes the save as everything breaks down. Robbie gets in a nice dive before Bram starts cleaning house with knees and clotheslines. Grado gets in a Bionic Elbow on Drake but a frog splash only gets two. The referee is distracted though so Drake hits Grado low and does that knee lift/clothesline combo for the pin at 7:50.

Rating: D+. Just too much going on here and nothing had a chance to focus. You had three feuds in one here and that’s a little too much at once. The Tribunal vs. Grado/Shera is one of the weakest feuds in a long time because it revolves around Al Snow. Bram vs. Drake could be good but it’s really not a feud that has any steam going into Sunday. The BroMans are as added on of a set of challengers as I’ve seen in a good while.

Gail Kim does her basic promo about how she wants to show Maria how serious this is. Ethan Carter III talks about how he wants to use the sword of redemption on Bennett this Sunday.

Lashley isn’t pleased with Matt getting a title shot tonight and promises to make sure things go right tonight. Matt says the title is his and Lashley just needs to understand that.

We see Ethan Carter III and Mike Bennett having a weigh-in. A fight broke out of course.

Gail Kim/Ethan Carter III vs. Maria Kanellis/Mike Bennett

Not so fast yet as Maria is going to have Allie take her place. Allie screeches a lot until Ethan actually begs her to stop. Gail comes in to run Allie over but Maria trips her up to give Allie an opening. A double faceplant drops both women though and it’s a double tag to bring in the guys. The 1%er is broken up but Bennett is sent to the floor. Allie goes after Ethan to no avail so the guys run up the ramp. Back inside and Eat Defeat is broken up but Allie’s brainbuster is countered into a small package to give Gail the pin at 4:44.

Rating: C-. Nothing to this one but they’re very wise to have Maria not wrestle as it’s really not her strong suit. Allie is in a weird place as she’s certainly talented in the ring but she’s playing a character who doesn’t have much of a wrestling background. The dynamic is working but Maria is going to have to wrestle at some point.

Post match Sienna runs in and Gail gets a Conchairto on her leg.

Willow hijacks a feed. Great.

X-Division Title: Eddie Edwards vs. Trevor Lee

Lee is defending and has Shane Helms in his corner. Eddie starts the fight on the floor but a Helms distraction lets Trevor stomp him down. A comeback is cut off by another distraction and Trevor stomps away again. Trevor’s atomic drop doesn’t do much as Eddie sends him outside for a plancha followed by a suicide dive.

Back in and Lee uppercuts him in the back of the head before a lifting German suplex gets two. Cue Andrew Everett for a distraction but Lee’s jumping knee only gets two. DJZ comes out for a save but Helms hits Eddie in the head with the title belt to give Lee the pin at 7:09.

Rating: C+. The match was a good technical display but how far have they buried this title? There’s no mention of a title match on Sunday but I’m sure we’ll get some big multi-man match because that’s what the thing is all about. Well at least when they have time to feature the thing between the same people getting four segments a show.

Lashley comes up to Galloway and says he hopes Drew keeps the title tonight. Galloway talks about making Kurt Angle tap out so he’s ready for Lashley.

Gail Kim’s knee is hurt. Uh, thanks as I wouldn’t have gotten that otherwise.

Braxton Sutter vs. Billy Callis

Callis powers him down in to the corner to start but Sutter punches him back. A few kicks to the ribs set up a jumping Downward Spiral to pin Callis at 2:10. Sutter looks good but the name sucks.

Sutter says he’s worked hard to get here and he’s going to take over. That’s no BS.

Willow talks about Jeff Hardy’s war with Matt.

Ethan gives a fired up promo about the showdown with Bennett on Sunday.

We run down the Slammiversary card with Trevor Lee defending the X-Division Title against Andrew Everett, DJZ and Eddie Edwards added. Well that was obvious.

Video on Galloway vs. Lashley.

TNA World Title: Matt Hardy vs. Drew Galloway

Drew is defending. Josh isn’t sure if Matt vs. Jeff will be happening because no one has seen Jeff, though we’ve seen Willow. They quickly head outside with Drew catching a charging Matt and tilt-a-whirl slamming him on the apron. A Side Effect onto the steps puts Matt in control though and a neckbreaker gets two back inside.

Matt bites the champ’s forehead and puts on his guillotine choke. Drew flips him over for the break and it’s time for some chops to make Matt’s chest red. The Celtic Cross drops Matt but he counters a superplex attempt, only to have Drew lift himself up and throw Matt off the top. The Claymore is loaded up but Lashley comes in for the DQ at 6:15.

Rating: C-. The match was fine but again you knew the ending before they even started. Lashley vs. Galloway is a good enough feud but this company is all about the Hardys and everyone knows it. Lashley basically said he was going to interfere here and that’s not the way you want things to go, especially in a big match like this designed to make you want to buy a pay per view.

Post match Galloway and Lashley fight to the back and the lights go out. They come back on and most of the fans (at least in the lower arena) are wearing Willow masks. Cue a bunch of Willows on the stage when the real Willow appears on screen to say Jeff will be free on Sunday to end Matt once and for all. Here’s Jeff to come out and stare at Matt, who is shocked by this for some reason. They brawl to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Why does this company have to do some good stuff to give me hope for their post Slammiversary stretch? The World Title feud and Bennett vs. Carter are both good but sweet goodness that Hardy vs. Hardy feud is death. It’s a rare situation where all you can do is look at it and pretty much be in awe because there’s nothing that needs to be said about it. Yeah the match is probably going to be a spectacle because both guys are insane but the story building up to it is pure dreadful.

The rest of the show felt crammed together but that’s TNA: focus on one or two things and if there’s time for the rest, those stories are just lucky to get the consideration they receive. Slammiversary is going to be a very up and down show that I’m really not looking forward to but there are parts that could be quite good.

Results

Sienna b. Madison Rayne – AK-47

Decay/Eli Drake/Tribunal b. BroMans/Bram/Grado/Mahabali Shera – Clothesline to Grado

Gail Kim/Ethan Carter III b. Mike Bennett/Allie – Small package to Allie

Trevor Lee b. Eddie Edwards – Pin after Shane Helms hit Edwards with the X-Division Title

Braxton Sutter b. Billy Callis – Jumping Downward Spiral

Drew Galloway b. Matt Hardy via DQ when Lashley interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on NXT: The Full Sail Years Volume II at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01FWZZ2UA

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Impact Wrestling
Date: May 24, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

It’s a big show tonight with May Mayhem, meaning things are a bit more violent than the regular shows. As you might guess, this is a show that was announced a week ago with almost no other build. The big match tonight is Matt Hardy vs. Ethan Carter III as Carter tries to get his rematch with Mike Bennett. Let’s get to it.

The opening video focuses on everything we’re getting to see tonight.

Here’s Matt Hardy for a chat before his match with Ethan. Matt now has half black and half white hair (divided down the middle) which looks like Bozo the Clown’s. Before the match Matt talks about how he has evolved into something more dangerous. He sees this match as nothing more than a warmup for his match with Jeff at Slammiversary.

With something like a weak British accent, Matt says he has a contract for the match with his brother Nero, which brings out Rockstar Spud and Tyrus. Spud says he’s dedicated his life to Matt Hardy. Matt: “As you should.” That accent is REALLY weird and comes off like Matt trying to be all intelligent and brilliant and it’s really just creepy.

Spud blames the fans for this going too far but Tyrus really doesn’t care. Matt says it’s ok to say he looks like a psychotic lunatic. He has a deal for Nero tonight: if Nero can beat Spud and Tyrus in a ladder match, there will be a match between the brothers at Slammiversary. If Jeff loses though, there’s no match. Also if Jeff wins, Spud and Tyrus are done associating with Matt. This felt like someone shouting LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME and trying to be all interesting but coming off as a guy who is more sad than anything else. As usual, Matt is in over his head and is nowhere near as brilliant as he thinks he is.

Ethan Carter III vs. Matt Hardy

Matt pounds away in the corner as we hear about how amazing a transformation he’s undergone to become this lunatic. Carter charges into a boot to the face and gets elbowed in the jaw to keep him down. A bulldog out of the corner gets two for Matt and he whips Carter into the corner.

The slow pace continues with a legdrop until Carter comes back with a jawbreaker, only to miss a splash in the corner. Here’s Mike Bennett to watch as Matt gets two off a Side Effect. The Twist of Fate is countered into a cobra clutch but Bennett comes in for the DQ at 6:40. The stipulation said that Carter had to win by pin/submission to get his shot so Ethan gets nothing.

Rating: D+. Can we take up a collection to get rid of Matt Hardy? Like, how much would it cost for us to never have to sit through one of his speeches or matches again? His character is confusing/stupid, his promos are annoying, he gets WAY too much TV time and his matches aren’t even good. What are he and Jeff going to do at Slammiversary? Jump off something really high like they’ve done for nearly twenty years? I’m sure TNA fans will call it brilliant but this is moving into Hogan/Flair levels of sad.

Mike lays Carter out post match and says that he has failed. There will be no rematch at Slammiversary.

Post break Bennett says what he just did was art and you don’t have to explain art. A few weeks ago he had a vision for EC3’s Road to Redemption. Well now Ethan has failed because he didn’t get the job done, meaning no match at Slammiversary. This was just repeating what was said earlier.

Here’s Allie to introduce Maria for a speech. Maria talks about how she’s taking over the new future for the Knockouts and Velvet Sky is part of the past. This brings out Gail Kim, who says Maria manipulated her way to the top of the division. They argue over Velvet being fired with Maria saying she put on her boots just like Gail told her to and she attained power. Gail offers to beat her up right now but Maria threatens to have her fired. This results in Gail being put in a match with her career on the line, which brings in Sienna for a cheap shot from behind. Who is actually begging to see Gail vs. Maria in a straight match?

Grado promises Mahabali Shera that he’ll take care of Al Snow tonight. Grado has a chain wrapped around his fist while Shera eats what looks like a drumstick.

The BroMans call each other from about a foot away. Robbie thinks they need to move up a few levels while Jesse keeps stopping to talk to people. Apparently Robbie has found them a guru to take it to another level. A woman comes up to point out that they’re right next to each other and Robbie blames Jesse for not paying attention.

Gail rants about how angry she is.

We recap Al Snow vs. Grado in your standard “I’m old and grizzled and you’re not serious enough” feud. Snow claims to be a pure athlete and keeps cheating to win matches.

Al Snow vs. Grado

Street fight. Before the match, Snow asks if the fans want violence, chairs and tables. Well even if they do, they’re not going to get it because he’s a wrestler. Snow: “I’m your mom’s favorite wrestler!” Naturally he hides behind the set and jumps Grado from behind to start things off. The bell hasn’t rung yet as Snow slams Grado’s hand into the steps. They head inside for the bell with Snow slamming him down but missing the moonsault.

Snow’s powder is thrown back into his face as Shera brings in a trashcan full of weapons. Grado spanks him with a cookie sheet and it’s time for the drumstick (as in a bone with meat on it) for a low blow. A chain punch hits Grado in the jaw but here are two newcomers (NXT’s Marcus Louis and Sylvester LeFort) to pull the referee out. The distraction lets Snow hit the Snow Plow for the pin at 3:39.

Rating: D-. Yes this is continuing and Snow is going to have a stable. This really does feel like it’s 1999 but for some reason we’re getting an Al Snow win instead of any…..you know what? I don’t care. We’re reaching the point with TNA where I can’t even get mad about it anymore. This is what we’re stuck with because of all the people they have on their roster, it’s best to have Al Snow do this instead of ANYONE else.

I’m so sorry that TNA has no money because no one watches their shows and they’re stuck on a third rate network with no audience but it’s the kind of nonsense like pushing Matt Hardy as some psycho genius for the “real” main event of Slammiversary against his brother because Darlin Dixie is too thickheaded to realize that this nonsense doesn’t draw a thing anymore. This match and this show are such a waste of time anymore and they have no one to blame but themselves.

Matt Hardy (of course) is sitting in the dark when Reby comes in to ask what’s wrong. We get another monologue about how Matt needs to get rid of Nero for his life to continue. Reby talks about how he’s alienating everyone but Matt doesn’t care because it’s all about Nero.

Jeremy Borash is in the ring to talk about the end of last week’s show when Lashley interrupts. Lashley rants about how many fights he’s had without twenty idiots interrupting but here’s Drew Galloway to cut him off. Drew says Lashley can lay claim to being the only real fighter on the roster but he’ll stick to the title of World Heavyweight Champion. Last week he saw fear in Lashley’s eyes but Lashley doesn’t want to hear it.

Drew comes to the ring for a fight but Dixie Carter comes out to say this is ridiculous. Yeah we need to cut out this action on a wrestling show. I for one would love another Matt Hardy monologue right about now. Dixie makes the rematch for Slammiversary with only submissions or knockouts for the win. If I’m Drew, I’d be rather ticked off by that but of course he’s fine with everything.

Lashley calls him out and the fight is on again with Drew hitting a Claymore and pounding away. Security’s intervention only slows Drew down, allowing Lashley to get in a spear and hammer away. A referee gets speared and Lashley chokes Drew out with a belt. Lashley isn’t done yet and takes off his shirt but does nothing.

X-Division Title: Andrew Everett vs. Eddie Edwards vs. DJZ vs. Trevor Lee

Lee is defending and this is Ultimate X with the belt hung at the intersection of two cables. The first person to climb up and pull it down is champion. We come back from a break after Eddie’s entrance with the rest of the entrances because we haven’t wasted enough time on this show yet. Shane helms is out with Lee and Everett, who are introduced as a team. Eddie dives over the top to take out Everett before the bell rings.

It’s a huge brawl to start of course until Everett dropkicks everyone down and goes for the belt, only to have Lee pull him down and swear a bit. Helms tells his boys to calm down and Everett lets Lee get on his shoulders to help him get tot he belt. Eddie and DJZ come in for the save (why this isn’t a tag match and non-title is beyond me) with DJZ elbowing both heels in the jaw.

Edwards hurricanranas both of them down at the same time but Lee knees him in the face. DJZ pops up and rolls forward into a DDT on Trevor to knock the champ silly. Eddie goes up and pulls down the title, only to have Shane distract the referee so Trevor can steal the belt to retain at 5:59.

Rating: D. I mean, why wait and have the big gimmick match at Slammiversary when you can have it here in a nothing match that doesn’t even last six minutes and somehow includes a false finish? It’s nice of them to throw a bone to the X-Division but the title is still having the same issues that everything else does: not enough focus because other big stories get the time, stories that just keep going because there’s nothing else going on, and of course and older guy who is treated as being above the current stars.

Maria has chosen Sienna to take out Gail Kim by ripping out her heart.

Ethan talks about playing rigged games all his life. There is no honor in what Bennett did but the rematch is going to happen no matter what. Ethan is about to make a phone call he’s going to regret. Bennett was comparing himself to artists but those people had a life’s work. After Ethan is done, Mike isn’t even going to have a life. As usual, really good stuff here from Ethan as he kept it simple and responded to everything Mike said while advancing the story.

Sienna vs. Gail Kim

Allie and Maria are at ringside and Gail’s career is on the line. Sienna jumps Gail from behind but gets knocked away, allowing Gail to hit a quick high cross body for two. A hurricanrana takes both of them outside but Maria helps Sienna up, allowing her to send Gail into the barricade. Back in and a Samoan drop gets two for Sienna but Gail comes back with a reverse DDT. Maria shoves Gail off the ropes, only to have her reverse the spinning faceplant into a sunset flip to pin Sienna at 4:13.

Rating: C-. That’s about as good as a four minute match with two people interfering is going to get. I know the end game of this is Gail vs. Maria but how is that going to be anything other than a squash or Gail having to slow things WAY down to make the match work? The story makes sense here but it’s asking us to be interested in Gail Kim which just isn’t going to happen.

Sienna drops Gail post match and Maria pounds away.

Rockstar Spud begs Tyrus to win tonight for Matt’s sake. Reby comes in and says do it for her sake because Matt is insane over this Jeff stuff. Spud says having Matt back to normal is worth anything.

The BroMans go to meet their guru and it’s….actually a woman, who has purple hair and is in great shape. Her name is Raquel (Gabi from last year’s Tough Enough) and apparently she’s the guru they’ve been looking for. After a hard workout, she says she’ll see them in the pool.

Lashley and Drew Galloway will pick each other’s opponents next week.

Rockstar Spud/Tyrus vs. Jeff Hardy

Ladder match. If Jeff wins, he faces Matt at Slammiversary in a Full Metal Mayhem match and Spud/Tyrus are done associating with Matt. If Jeff loses, there’s no match and Matt is happy anyway. Jeff hands out what looks like CDs during his entrance, which is actually not a horrible idea. Spud jumps Jeff before the bell (because we haven’t seen that tonight) but Tyrus posts himself and gets a chair thrown at his back. Jeff throws in a ladder and we go to a break without the match actually starting.

The match is joined in progress with Tyrus pulling a ladder to send Jeff throat first into the ropes. A legdrop between Jeff’s legs should allow Tyrus to just sit on him so Spud can climb but instead Tyrus picks him up. Spud drops a top rope elbow and goes to get a ladder as Tyrus lifts Jeff up again.

Tyrus splashes Spud by mistake but Jeff can’t follow up. Spud is sent out to the floor and Tyrus tries to climb, only to be too heavy and break the rungs. Jeff laughs at him as Spud comes back in, only to have Tyrus get knocked outside. Spud goes up but gets caught in a Twist of Fate onto the top of the ladder, allowing Jeff to pull down the contract at 5:10.

Rating: F. A five minute ladder match with Tyrus being entirely stupid (just sit on him man) and an obvious ending.

Overall Rating: D-. If Slammiversary isn’t an upgrade (read as the Hardys don’t main event for one thing), I’m taking a break from this company. I’ve sat through years of this place’s nonsense but it’s never been so much of an effort to stick with them. This company has just never learned and it’s the same problem time after time: too much of a focus on stories with only short term value and far less importance being placed on things that could help them.

In other words, I’ve had it with Matt vs. Jeff. This feud has gone on forever (dating back to their WWE days) and TNA doesn’t understand that there is nothing to gain from these two fighting each other. They’ve taken over the show and pushed things like the World Title and the legitimately great Carter vs. Bennett feud (one of the only reasons I’m sticking around) so Matt can be a crazy genius or whatever moniker he’s giving himself this week.

TNA is never going to get entirely better but the least I can ask is for them to be watchable. I’ve given TNA my patience, my time and my money but I’ve had enough. This show had less than twenty six minutes of wrestling in two hours and nearly twelve of those were Matt and Jeff matches. If that’s what TNA cares about, I’m not going to be around to watch them screw this place up even more. I’m not flat out quitting but if Slammiversary isn’t at least a decent show (and I’ll be flexible with that), I’m done.

Results

Ethan Carter III b. Matt Hardy via DQ when Mike Bennett interfered

Al Snow b. Grado – Snow Plow

Trevor Lee b. Eddie Edwards, Andrew Everett and DJZ – Lee pulled down the title

Gail Kim b. Sienna – Sunset flip

Jeff Hardy b. Tyrus/Rockstar Spud – Jeff pulled down the contract

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Impact Wrestling
Date: March 29, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Drew Galloway

It’s a big night this week as we have Jeff Hardy getting a World Title shot against champion Drew Galloway. On top of that we’ll probably be looking at the fallout from last week’s big gauntlet match, as well as maybe having the Knockouts Title match between Gail Kim and Jade. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s gauntlet match with Jeff Hardy eliminating his brother Matt for the win.

Here’s the Matt Hardy Brand to open things up. As expected, Matt is livid about losing the match last week and calls it an injustice. He wants and demands a title shot tonight because Jeff doesn’t deserve one. This brings out Maria and Mike Bennett with the latter talking about how he deserves the title shot because no one wants to see Matt as champion again.

Maria and Reby almost get into it before the guys talk about their lack of respect for each other. Before any punches can be thrown though, here’s Ethan Carter III to interrupt. Ethan pitches a show about the Matt Hardy Brand being the Three Stooges before praying for Mike Bennett’s career. That’s enough for Mike as he yells at Ethan, only to have Matt cut them off and challenge Ethan to a fight against the entire Matt Hardy Brand, including Reby. Ethan says game on.

Ethan Carter III vs. Matt Hardy Brand

Tyrus throws Ethan around to start and it’s quickly off to Spud, who crawls away at the first threat of violence. It’s back to Tyrus who breaks up some right hands in the corner with a nice hot shot. Spud and Tyrus take turns on Carter with Matt coming in for a few cheap shots in the vein of Bobby Heenan. Carter finally fights back against Matt but has to deal with Tyrus instead of hitting the 1%er. Spud gets caught in a cobra clutch, which draws in Bennett for the DQ at 6:28.

Rating: D. Boring stuff here with Matt following a simple formula but not being all that interesting. That sums up the Matt Hardy Brand as a whole: they’re doing all the right things as heels but there’s almost no interest. Carter is doing really well in the face roll but he needs someone better to work off. Like say, Bennett for example.

Post match the Brand beats Carter down until Beer Money comes out to clear the ring. They heard a fight going on and would love to get in on that so let’s make this a six man tag.

Matt Hardy/Tyrus/Mike Bennett vs. Ethan Carter III/Beer Money

This is joined in progress with Storm working over Bennett until Tyrus pulls James off the apron. Tyrus starts working on the ribs and goes simple by burying the point of his elbow into James’ back. James tries to bite the hand to escape and takes Bennett down for the hot tag to Roode. Bobby starts cleaning house as everything breaks down with Carter chasing Bennett and Maria up the ramp, leaving Storm to Last Call Tyrus. Both heels get suplexed but Tyrus gets in a heart punch, setting up the Twist of Fate to put Roode away at 6:07.

Rating: C-. Standard six man here with Carter and Bennett leaving Beer Money, as in the Tag Team Champions, to get pinned in a standard tag match. You can also tell that they’re running low on ideas as they used one story to carry a fourth of the show. It doesn’t help that it’s not the best story on the show but that’s standard for TNA.

Gail Kim isn’t happy with what Maria pulled last week so tonight it’s Madison Rayne vs. Velvet Sky for the #1 contendership. I guess Jade lost the shot?

The BroMans can’t believe they’re back together when Eli Drake comes in to laugh at them. Jesse says he has an idea.

Velvet Sky vs. Madison Rayne

#1 contenders match. Velvet puts on a headlock to start and Madison gets annoyed, causing things to get a bit heated. A clothesline gets two on Sky but some Skylines (I’ve heard worse) put Rayne in trouble, followed by a bulldog for two. Not that it matters as a quick jackknife rollup gives Rayne the pin at 3:35.

Rating: C. This is another match we’ve seen so many times before and it’s really hard to care about the same women who just pop up every few weeks for a filler match like this. The Knockouts division continues to need a lot of fresh blood, which it seems we might be getting with Jade and Maria. The match was fine but nothing I never need to see again.

Velvet raises her hand post match.

Drew Galloway talks about needing to do something special to beat Jeff Hardy tonight.

Pope gets in the ring with something to say. People have been noticing that he’s been getting more physical lately because Pope has to be the man that he is inside. A few weeks ago he stood up for his announce partner and Lashley doesn’t seem cool with that. Cue Lashley who tells Pope to apologize and go sit down because he’s not a man anymore.

Pope talks about getting into this business at the same time as Lashley, which means he wants to fight right now. Lashley gets in and the brawl is on with referees not being able to hold them back. Pope sidesteps a spear and Lashley goes to the floor, allowing Pope to hit a BIG dive off the top. Security still can’t break them up so we cut away. I’m not a Pope fan by any stretch but this was really good.

Another video on last week’s gauntlet.

Jeff Hardy is used to being the underdog.

Matt Hardy hates the main event.

Jeremy Borash has taken over for Pope on commentary.

Here are Eric Young and Bram with Eric talking about how awesome he is and blaming Bram for the elimination last week. Everyone wants to be him so he’s watching Jeff win the World Title tonight so he can take it away from him later. Cue the BroMans for our third unannounced match of the night.

BroMans vs. Bram/Eric Young

The BroMans clean house to start until Bram stomps Robbie down in the corner to take over. The beating doesn’t last long though as Jesse gets the hot tag and starts to clean house. Bram holds Eric but eats a right hand from his partner. Jesse knocks Eric into Bram and it’s the BroDown to put Young away at 4:28.

Rating: D. Storyline instead of a match here and there’s nothing wrong with that. The BroMans are a fun enough act to be a low level tag team but more important to me here is the fact that Bram and Young seem to be splitting. I haven’t cared for Young in years and I’m glad Bram might be getting some spotlight for a change.

Grado and Mahabali Shera are ready for the celebration (and dancing) when Al Snow jumps them and breaks Grado’s arm. Yes, AL SNOW is now getting a feud. That’s how bad things have gotten.

Here are Trevor Lee and Gregory Helms to call out Eddie Edwards. Helms praises the Wolves for being amazing and revolutionary but thinks it’s time for his in ring debut. He’s been a champion around the world and beaten some of the best of all time so how about they get together and win the Tag Team Titles? Eddie has a week to make his decision.

Pope wants to fight Lashley with no rules next week.

TNA World Title: Drew Galloway vs. Jeff Hardy

Hardy is challenging and gets a headlock takeover out of the corner to take over early. Drew comes back with an overhead belly to belly and Hardy is already in trouble. The champ is sent outside for a dive from Hardy and we take a break. Back with Jeff getting two off a Twist of Fate but taking too much time going up and getting superplexed down.

The Claymore gets two and they head up top for what looked to be a super powerslam from Drew but Jeff reverses into something like a hiptoss. That looked to be a bit botched but it was good enough. Another Twist and the Swanton get two on Drew so Jeff sends it outside and puts Drew on the steps. The Swanton hits knees though and it’s a quick Futureshock to give Drew the pin at 14:18.

Rating: B-. Another pretty good main event here with Jeff being a good first victory for Drew, but they certainly didn’t hit a special level. It’s good that they’re getting Jeff out of the way early though as he’s one of those guys who is always going to be near the top of the roster so thankfully Drew can focus on someone new.

Apparently that new means Matt, who comes out to say that he was hoping Jeff won but he’ll settle for taking the World Title from Drew next week. Drew is ready to fight right now but here are Bram and Eric Young to help beat him down. That earns them a double Claymore and Jeff hits Matt with a Twist of Fate. Next week, Jeff wants Young in Six Sides of Steel.

Overall Rating: D+. I didn’t hate the show and they’re definitely making sense with the stories but it’s really hard to get behind a roster with Gregory Helms, Tyrus, Matt Hardy and Al Snow getting so much air time. The storylines are put together well enough but nothing has a spark. There’s nothing going on that I look forward to (though Pope vs. Lashley looks good) and a lot of that is due to how much we see the same people.

Look at the ending: MORE Hardys and more Bram/Eric Young. I get that they’re low on talent right now but they really need to get some fresh bodies in there, especially with Roode and Young leaving at the end of this taping cycle. The Hardys are all over this show and I’m really sick of them. Drew is a good choice for the young face champion but the show is all about Matt and Jeff and that’s been old. Freshen things up a bit, even if you have to hire some new low level names. You never know what you might find in there and it might help things out a bit.

Results

Ethan Carter III b. Matt Hardy Brand via DQ when Mike Bennett interfered

Matt Hardy/Tyrus/Mike Bennett b. Ethan Carter III/Beer Money – Twist of Fate to Roode

Madison Rayne b. Velvet Sky – Jackknife rollup

BroMans b. Eric Young/Bram – BroDown to Young

Drew Galloway b. Jeff Hardy – Futureshock

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Impact Wrestling
Date: March 15, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

This is a special live(ish) episode with some major matches taking place. We have Jeff Hardy returning (as he does every single year after the company gets back from the UK) to go after Eric Young but not for the King of the Mountain Title, as well as Matt Hardy defending his World Title against Ethan Carter III (again). Let’s get to it.

Eric Young vs. Jeff Hardy

Non-title but before the match, Young finds Dixie Carter in the back and yells about how he’s going to destroy the golden boy tonight. The fight starts fast with Jeff trying an early Twist of Fate but Eric bails to the floor. Dixie cuts off the match and says the winner of this is going on to the main event for the World Title. The fans get behind Jeff as Eric pounds away and shoves Jeff off the top for a big crash.

Back in and Eric stomps Hardy in the corner before crotching him again to break up a Whisper in the Wind attempt. A choke out of the corner and a neckbreaker give Eric a near fall but he dives into a raised boot to give Jeff a breather. Another Twist of Fate is broken up as Eric gets crotched, only to shove Eric down and hit the Swanton for the pin at 10:02.

Rating: C-. Just a basic match here but that announcement sealed the ending. You knew they were going to try to get Jeff into the title hunt as soon as possible as they really don’t have anyone else to thrown out there. The match was nothing interesting either but that’s to be expected with these two.

Post match here are Matt Hardy and company with something to say. After the break, Matt says he would have been there to help Jeff but he had to take care of his family. Reby thinks that Jeff is Maxell’s second favorite wrestler and lets him hold the baby. Matt offers his brother a long build towards a Bound For Glory match but Jeff doesn’t buy it. He’ll take that match tonight and counters a Twist of Fate attempt into one on the champ to stand tall.

Earlier today, Eddie Edwards was attacked by the Decay.

Mike Bennett and Maria Kanellis promise to destroy Gail Kim and Drew Galloway.

Eddie Edwards says he’s ready to fight Beer Money on his own but they’re willing to join forces with him to fight Decay tonight.

Mike Bennett/Maria Kanellis vs. Gail Kim/Drew Galloway

The women start but Maria bails to the corner for a tag before anything can happen. Drew comes in and kicks Mike in the face before bringing Gail back in for a few shots of his own. Back to Drew as the announcers talk about the sitcoms airing on POP. Drew tells Bennett to bring it so Maria slaps him in the face.

That just makes Drew chop Mike even faster but he gets pulled off the top for a crash. Maria comes in and tries to keep Drew away from Gail, which goes about as well as you would expect. The tag brings in Gail for Eat Defeat to Bennett followed by a Claymore but Maria grabs a rollup on Gail with a handful of trunks for the pin at 5:07.

Rating: D+. This was a way to get Maria in the ring and at least Gail lost for a change. Of course that doesn’t mean anything because she’s always going to wind up getting the title back for a long reign because TNA thinks she’s the most amazing thing on the planet. The fact that everything Maria says is accurate doesn’t help things either. This division really needs a breath of air and Gail near the top isn’t going to do that any good.

We look back at Lashley turning heel to end last week’s show.

Here’s Lashley in the ring for an interview about his actions last week. He waited a long time to fight Angle because he’s the best and strongest around this company, which he proved last week. So why does he get overlooked for the Drew Galloways and the Jeff Hardys? Politics maybe? Not that it matters as Lashley came after Kurt to prove he belonged here. Lashley has no friends and wants no friends because he needs no friends. However, Josh Matthews is in his ring right now, so Lashley throws him into the corner. Dang I thought they wanted him to be a heel. Pope comes in for the save and gets beaten down as well, which the fans actually don’t like.

That’s their best idea to make him a heel? Have him beat up the most annoying announcer this side of Cole as a Miz fan? As usual, anytime Lashley talks, things go badly for him as there’s no charisma or any kind of an intimidating voice. The idea here is good but the execution was a disaster of course.

The Decay welcomes us to their black hole and promises a third person to fight against Beer Money and Edwards.

Jeremy Borash has replaced Pope on commentary.

Ethan Carter III congratulates Jeff Hardy for getting into the World Title match but Jeff says he’s winning the title for the Creatures.

Decay vs. Eddie Edwards/Beer Money

The partner is Rosemary, which should make for some interesting action. Steve jumps Storm from behind to start but it’s quickly off to Roode for two off a release gordbuster. Abyss comes in to start cleaning house by slamming Roode down, allowing him to chokeslam Steve onto Roode’s body for two. Rosemary gets the tag and hammers away for a bit before Roode avoids a Cannonball from Steve. The hot tag brings in Storm for his chance to clean house but Steve pulls Rosemary away from the double suplex. Instead Rosemary mists Edwards, allowing Steve to get the pin at 7:17.

Rating: D+. This did nothing for me as it was just two teams doing moves to each other for a few minutes until the ending. Decay is an idea but it’s something we’ve seen enough times before that it’s a bit hard to get behind. They’re definitely entertaining and freaky enough to get noticed but losing that title shot a few weeks back crippled their push.

Billy Corgan (You know him. I mean, you all read the internet so you know he has power here. It’s not like we ever need to TELL YOU THAT or anything.) tells Grado that TNA has come to a decision and will let him know the fate of the Feast or Fired case in the ring.

Matt and Reby accuse Dixie of adding Jeff to the match because she’s jealous. This earns them a new stipulation for the title match: no countout and no DQ. Aren’t all triple threats like that already?

We recap the King of the Mountain Title briefcase issue with TNA finally showing the footage of Eli Drake switching the briefcases. This was released on TNA’s Youtube page so of course TNA assumed we had all seen it. Corgan comes out and says it’s Drake’s case but Grado gets a new contract. Oh but it’s going to be above the ring in a ladder match after the break. BUILD THIS STUFF UP!

Eli Drake vs. Grado

The announcers try to figure out what’s on the line here as Drake hits Grado in the back with the ladder. A hard whip sends Eli into the ladder and Grado starts his comeback, only to have Jesse Godderz come out for the save. Cue Mahabali Shera for a save but the heels hit him in the back with the briefcase. Grado goes up the ladder but dives onto the pile for an unnecessary chance. Another attempt at the case is stopped by Drake so Grado takes him down with a huge electric chair, which is enough for Grado to pull down the contract at 7:07.

Rating: C. Ok and now what? Grado is back on the roster after never really being off and they blew off the thing in a ladder match on five minutes notice. This is the kind of stuff that gets on my nerves about TNA: they have all these matches and stories and they blow them off on the live shows to pop ratings but then they go to eternal rematches afterwards because they have nothing left to air. That’s way too hasty and it gets them in trouble a lot of the time.

Eric Young tells Bram that everyone is out to get him so they have to work together.

TNA World Title: Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Ethan Carter III

Matt is defending and we don’t even get big match intros. The challengers beat Matt down to start but it’s Ethan grabbing a rollup for two on Jeff. Carter drops both Hardys and sends them both to the floor as we take a break. Back with Ethan down on the floor after a Side Effect and but Jeff blocks a Twist of Fate. The Swanton is loaded up but here are Bram and Eric Young to pull Jeff down and piledrive him on the concrete. Jeff is taken out as Carter gets back in and hits his Stinger Splash, drawing out Spud and Tyrus for another save.

They’re quickly dispatched though, allowing Matt to kick Ethan low. The Twist of Fate is countered into the 1%er but Mike Bennett comes in (ENOUGH ALREADY!) to chair Carter in the back. That’s only good for two and the Twist of Fate gets the same. Bennett throws Carter to the floor and fights into the crowd with Bennett getting in another chair shot. Matt is ready to leave and shouts at the fans that he’s leaving as champion…..but here’s Galloway to cash in his briefcase as the triple threat is a no contest at 18:30.

Rating: D+. The run-ins were driving me insane here as they took away anything this could have gotten going. The major bright spot here though is that Carter didn’t get pinned. That should be a major moment and wasting it in a triple threat would have been a big waste. I’m really not a big fan of having people added to matches to make them a triple threat but TNA is in love with the idea and that’s what we were stuck with here.

TNA World Title: Drew Galloway vs. Matt Hardy

The Claymore and Future Shock give Drew the title at 18 seconds.

Drew celebrates with the title to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This is TNA’s major TV problem showing its head again: there’s WAY too much being burned off in a single show and not enough over the coming weeks. You could have had Grado vs. Drake announced for next week, Jeff vs. Young go on last (assuming Jeff is healthy enough to compete) and the World Title match at a later date. Instead they threw all that together and didn’t even get a good show out of it. It’s not bad but WAY too much in a single night, which isn’t a good thing.

Results

Jeff Hardy b. Eric Young – Swanton Bomb

Maria Kanellis/Mike Bennett b. Drew Galloway/Gail Kim – Rollup with a handful of trunks

Decay b. Eddie Edwards/Beer Money – Steve pinned Edwards after mist from Rosemary

Grado b. Eli Drake – Grado pulled down the contract

Matt Hardy vs. Ethan Carter III vs. Jeff Hardy went to a no contest

Drew Galloway b. Matt Hardy – Future Shock

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Impact Wrestling
Date: March 8, 2016
Location: Barclayard Arena, Birmingham, England
Attendance: 3,500
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

It’s the final night of the UK tour and also the last night of Kurt Angle’s TNA run. Expect to see a lot about Angle tonight as we wrap up his nearly ten year run with the company with a match against Lashley. Other than that it’s hard to say what else we’ll see here but I have a feeling it’s going to include British wrestlers losing a lot because that’s how TNA keeps the fans excited. Let’s get to it.

We open with a quick video on Angle’s final match.

Dixie Carter is in the ring to open things up with the roster and several backstage workers around the ring. She introduces Kurt for his big goodbye and gives him a nice speech without trying to cry. Drew Galloway says he came to TNA for several reasons, including to wrestle the best competition in the world.

Wrestling Kurt is a master class in wrestling and this is a roster that wanted to be professional wrestlers instead of football players or whatever (always get in those shots at WWE guys). Kurt says this retirement has made him better and he’s the luckiest man on this planet. This brings out Lashley to say that while he respects Kurt, it’s going to be a rough last night for him. Lashley thanks Angle for getting him into this business but realizes that Kurt just isn’t ready for tonight.

King of the Mountain Title: Eric Young vs. Bram vs. Big Damo vs. Will Ospreay vs. Jimmy Havoc

King of the Mountain match with Young defending. This is the reverse ladder match where you have to hang the title above the ring. In order to do that though, you have to become eligible by getting a fall on someone, which also sends that someone to a penalty box for one minute. Josh explains the WAY too complicated rules and finally gets around to actually listing off the challengers. Ospreay pins Havoc with a crucifix and goes up the ladder with Young making a save. Havoc gets out and goes on top of the box for a dive to take out Damo and Bram.

Eric piledrives Havoc onto the steps and gets the easy pin to become eligible as well, sending Havoc back to the box in the process. Bram gets a pin on Damo with the Brighter Side of Suffering a few seconds later, giving us a showdown between Young and Bram over who goes up the ladder. Both guys shove each other off the ladder (allowing Josh to get in even more “playing defense” lines) until Ospreay dropkicks Eric off the ladder as well. Young dives off the top with a neckbreaker to put Will down and hang the title to retain at 6:44.

Rating: D. I’m so glad we had this seven minute gimmick match with all the violence and carnage with Young holding on to the title because that’s what the midcard consists of these days. You kind of knew that they weren’t giving it to anyone new here as they’re likely done after this tour. Above that though, I continue to want to cry every time I see Young and Bram standing next to each other with Young getting the push.

Jeff Hardy will be back next week to deal with Young.

We look back at Angle’s debut at Genesis 2006.

Maria talks to Dixie Carter about Mike Bennett and Dixie agrees to give him a chance. Dixie isn’t as wild on Maria being an asset to the Knockouts without seeing some actions.

Decay video.

Back from a break with Maria and Bennett in the ring with Mike saying this company needs him now more than ever. Angle, who ducked him, is leaving so let’s just name him #1 contender already. Instead it’s Drew Galloway with the Feast or Fired case to say that Bennett needs to actually win something. Bennett is ready to fight and says get Dixie but Drew punches him in the face to start a brawl. Mike is chased off by the threat of a Claymore Kick.

Another Kurt moment saw him winning the World Title at Slammiversary 2007. If nothing else this gives us the sweet tones of Don West.

The Wolves and Angle suck up to each other. Kurt passes the ankle lock on to Richards.

Knockouts Title: Jade vs. Gail Kim

Kim is defending after Jade attacked her last week. Gail jumps her to start and fires off forearms in the corner but Jade grabs her with something like an AA. That’s it for her offense at the moment as Gail takes her down and puts on a Figure Four around the post. Back in and Jade grabs an Indian Deathlock with a chinlock, followed by a Fujiwara armbar. Gail avoids a missile dropkick and clotheslines her down for two (playing defense according to Josh). Eat Defeat is countered into a German suplex for another near fall. Jade tries a high cross body but Gail rolls through for the pin to retain (of course) at 6:35.

Rating: C-. Well of course Gail retained because if she didn’t, we might have someone other than Gail Kim as Knockouts Champion and that’s just not a world I want to live in. It seems that we’re leading towards Maria taking the title and possibly taking over the Dollhouse because that needs to be a thing for some reason. The match was fine, albeit identical to almost every Gail Kim match in recent weeks.

Video on Ethan Carter III vs. Rockstar Spud from last week. Carter gets a shot at Hardy next week on the live show.

Matt is livid about having to defend against Ethan again and claims a conspiracy. It doesn’t matter though as he knows he can beat Ethan again.

Tag Team Titles: Wolves vs. Beer Money

The Wolves are defending in this dream match which is so important that neither team gets an entrance. Eddie takes over on Bobby to start and it’s quickly off to Storm who gets taken down for some elbows to the back. Apparently there was no tag in there so Roode stays in, allowing the Wolves to kick both challengers to the floor for a double suicide dive.

Things settle down to Storm working on a waistlock on Eddie, followed by Roode slapping on a chinlock. Eddie can’t get over for a tag so he settles for two off a sunset flip instead. A double hurricanrana drops both challengers and the hot tag brings in Davey as we take a break. Back with Davey putting Eddie in a leg lock and taking Davey down into an ankle lock at the same time.

Beer Money gets to the ropes and everything breaks down, leaving Storm to enziguri Eddie on the top. A hurricanrana drops Eddie to set up a top rope splash from Roode for two with Davey making the save. There’s the double suplex to Eddie but he breaks up DWI. Davey goes up top but dives into Closing Time, only to land badly and tear his ACL, putting him on the shelf for six to nine months. Last Call into a spinebuster gets two on Eddie before DWI gives Beer Money the titles back at 16:14.

Rating: B. Not exactly a classic but it was a really good match that lived up to enough of the hype. It’s always a shame to see someone go down to an injury like that but I can’t imagine it changed much of the match. Beer Money getting the titles back is a good thing as the Wolves are kind of out of stuff to do with them. If nothing else this might let Eddie revitalize the X-Division for a bit.

We see Kurt’s Hall of Fame induction.

Lashley tells Drew that he’s winning tonight.

We also see Mike Bennett getting in Angle’s face and Kurt calling him a punk.

Here’s Grado who claims he has video proof that he was cheated out of his job. Cue Eli Drake and Jesse Godderz to interrupt before the video can be played. Drake talks about Grado getting fired in a fair match and promises to beat Grado with the briefcase until Grado has no idea where he is anymore. Grado gets beaten down until Mahabali Shera comes in for a slow motion save. The villains screw up with the briefcase going off Godderz’s head, allowing Grado to hit Drake with a cutter and steal the briefcase.

Kurt Angle tribute video with various people praising him.

Kurt Angle vs. Lashley

Lashley has that headband on and it’s already distracting. A headlock doesn’t last long so Angle throws him down with some German suplexes. There’s an overhead belly to belly to send Lashley flying again but he drops Angle face first onto the turnbuckle to take over. Lashley chokes away on the ropes but Kurt comes right back with right hands and rolling German suplexes. That’s fine with Lashley as he throws Kurt around even more. A bad looking Angle Slam gets two for Kurt and he hits three more German suplexes to set up an ankle lock. They’re not even trying to do anything but the big spots here.

Lashley reverses into a cross armbreaker but Kurt reverses into an ankle lock. That’s reversed as well and Lashley gets two off a spinebuster and spear. Another spear gets another two but Kurt avoids a third and grabs the ankle lock with a grapevine. Lashley hangs on for a long time and escapes before sidestepping a charge, setting up the third spear for the pin at 10:58.

Rating: B-. After all that, it wasn’t even eleven minutes long? The match was fine enough but they weren’t even hiding the fact that this was just a tribute match instead of something really good. I’ve seen Kurt do those same signature spots over and over so many times now that it’s really hard to get excited above them all over again. The match was good and all but nothing special as far as quality goes.

Post match Lashley holds up Kurt’s arm before punching him in the face. Of course it’s a heel turn. It’s ALWAYS a heel turn. Drew Galloway and Eddie Edwards come out for saves but get speared down as well. Ethan Carter III comes out for the staredown but Lashley bails before anything happens to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. It’s definitely the best show they’ve done in a long time and most of that is due to them cutting out all of the nonsense and just having the wrestling carry things. Lashley turning heel is a good idea in theory but TNA currently has three top faces with Jeff Hardy, Ethan Carter III and Drew Galloway. TNA relies on the big heel turn way too often as we just had Matt do one about two months ago and now it’s Lashley, who won’t even be the top heel in the company. It’s a good show though and that’s all you can ask for from TNA at this point.

Results

Eric Young b. Will Ospreay, Big Damo, Bram and Jimmy Havoc – Young hung the belt

Gail Kim b. Jade – Kim rolled through a high cross body

Beer Money b. Wolves – DWI to Edwards

Lashley b. Kurt Angle – Spear

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume IV at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Impact Wrestling
Date: February 16, 2016
Location: MEN Arena, Manchester, England
Attendance: 3,000
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

We’re still in England and Lockdown is in a week (not that TNA has bothered to tell us that just yet of course), likely with the returning Ethan Carter III challenging Matt Hardy in one of the new champ’s first title defenses. Other than that we may have more issues between Matt and Dixie Carter over Jeff Hardy’s future. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the Tag Team Title situation with Decay stealing the Wolves’ belts and daring the champs to come get them in a Monster’s Ball this week.

Another recap shows us the ending of last week’s show with Ethan Carter III returning to chase off Matt Hardy.

Ethan comes up to Dixie in the back and says it’s now his mission to take the title back from Hardy. Dixie tells him that the rematch will be next week in Lockdown inside the steel cage. That’s fine with Ethan, but tonight he has something personal to take care of.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Ethan in the arena with something to say. He walked into this company two and a half years ago with a chip on his shoulder and he’s beaten everyone in front of him save for one name. That one man is all that matter to him right now and that is Matt Hardy. The one word that matters right now is rematch and Matt is going to be locked inside a cage with all of Ethan’s rage and vengeance.

Right now though, Ethan’s fists need to start punching someone and he can’t think of anyone better than Tyrus. Maybe Tyrus is breast feeding Maxel Hardy but get out here right now and fight. Tyrus comes out to say Ethan doesn’t want this. However, Tyrus thinks Ethan is afraid to be alone and he got to a new level with Tyrus. They were close enough for Tyrus to call him boss, but now Tyrus knows everything about him. Ethan asks if Tyrus is done and now the brawl is on.

Tyrus takes over and punches Carter up the aisle, only to be sent into the barricade a few times. This brings out Matt for the double beatdown and it’s time for a chair. Ethan fights both of them off though and cleans house with a chair. Matt issues the challenge for the tag match later tonight.

Here are Eric Young and Bram with something to say. Young asks if there’s anyone in the crowd tough enough to take his King of the Mountain Title from him. One person who certainly won’t be doing it is Jeff Hardy, but this brings out Beer Money. OF COURSE IT BRINGS OUT BEER MONEY because we haven’t had this story go on long enough yet. Storm accepts the challenge and we’re ready to go.

King of the Mountain Title: Eric Young vs. James Storm

Young is defending and gets taken down in a hurry with Storm sending him into the corner. Storm gets sent to the floor though, allowing Eric to take over back inside. An elbow to the face gets two and a neckbreaker gets the same. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Storm fights up with some clotheslines. Roode intercepts Bram and all four guys brawl to the floor for the double countout at 4:07.

Rating: D. Sweet goodness I can’t stand Eric Young. I don’t remember being more miserable when someone comes on my TV. I get that he’s been around for a long time but this feud with Bobby Roode and now Beer Money I guess has been going on for years now. There’s no reason left for them to fight other than “well they’ve been fighting for a while now.” Find something else for them to do or stop putting them on TV because it’s been old for a long time.

All four fight into the crowd.

Drew Galloway offers to be Ethan’s partner. They have common goals but Ethan wants to stand alone tonight.

Back from a break and THEY’RE STILL FIGHTING. Just put them in the cage match like you know you’re going to next week so we can hopefully end this feud already. We cut away as the fighting continues.

Here are Mike Bennett and Maria to discuss the people that have come across Mike so far. Kurt Angle hit him from behind and then ran away. Drew Galloway is stuck with a ticking time bomb called a briefcase. Tonight though, Mike wants to face one of the UK’s own.

Mike Bennett vs. Mandrews

Mandrews takes him down with an early armdrag and we’re already at the first shooting star, only to have Mike raise his knees. We hit the early chinlock for a few moments before Mike flapjacks him for two. Mandrews comes back with a spinning DDT and a standing corkscrew moonsault for two of his own. Bennett crotches him on top and hits a hanging Diamond Cutter, followed by the Miracle in Progress for the pin at 3:46.

Rating: D+. I’m not wild on the Miracle gimmick but at least he looked more dominant for a change. Bennett could go somewhere, assuming he can actually outlive Matt Hardy’s World Title reign. Not much to see here but it’s always fun to watch a pest like Mandrews get beaten down for a bit.

Post match Bennett keeps pounding on Mandrews until Drew Galloway makes the save.

Rosemary talks about leaving the Wolves lying in a pool of their own blood with nothing to wear. Abyss promises that she’ll be the most beautiful woman at the ball. The Decay is in a cage when someone comes up to say he remembers Rosemary. He blows a kiss and says he’ll see them soon. Apparently that would be British wrestler Jimmy Havoc.

Post break and Bennett beats down Galloway and Mandrews in the back.

Odarg the Great (notice the spelling) is coming.

Matt Hardy and Tyrus threaten Rockstar Spud to not be Ethan’s partner later.

We look back at Angle vs. Lashley from last year.

Tag Team Titles: Wolves vs. Decay

Monster’s Ball (street fight) with the Wolves defending. They brawl in the aisle to start and the weapons are quickly brought in as we take an early break. Such a stupid WWE move. Back with the Wolves in control and grabbing a ladder. Abyss’ ankle gets caught in the ladder but Rosemary mists Davey to break up the top rope double stomp, allowing Abyss to pelt a chair at Eddie, knocking him down through a table.

Abyss pulls out Janice and before I can type “and he swings it, only to get it caught in the turnbuckle pad because HE ALWAYS GETS IT CAUGHT IN THE TURNBUCKLE PAD”, he swings it, only to get it caught in the turnbuckle pad because HE ALWAYS GETS IT CAUGHT IN THE TURNBUCKLE PAD. That means more violence as Abyss piles up chairs until Eddie gets up for the save, setting up sunset bomb onto the chairs.

Steve and Davey get back in and the champs hit the clown in the back with a chair, setting up a top rope double stomp. Abyss starts cleaning house and brings out the bag of tacks. Pope: “We always think it’s the tacks but you never know!” Yeah Pope we do know, because it’s always the tacks. Eddie kicks Abyss out to the floor, allowing Davey to suicide dive the monster into the barbed wire board. Steve blasts Eddie with a chair off camera and puts his head inside a chair.

Rosemary gets in the ring to break up something like a Conchairto though as she pours the tacks (yeah they were tacks, because they’re always tacks) onto Eddie’s head first. The Conchairto misses though because of course it does, allowing Eddie to use Janice to knock a chair into Steve’s face. Richards kisses Rosemary (there’s some sexual assault for you) but it’s a trick to suck the mist out of her mouth. I’m not sure if that’s brilliant or ridiculous. Whatever they call Chasing the Dragon onto the chairs puts Steve away at 14:33.

Rating: C+. Much like almost everything else on this show, I’ve seen this so many times before. Like I said a few times here, you knew it was going to be tacks because it’s always tacks. You knew Abyss was going into the barbed wire board because he always goes into the barbed wire board. Finally you knew Janice wasn’t hitting anyone because it never does. The match is still entertaining, but they haven’t changed the formula in so long that it’s beyond stale. Oh and thanks for coming Decay. Can we just release Steve now?

Spud offers to be Ethan’s partner but Ethan still wants to do it alone.

Gail Kim/Madison Rayne vs. Jade/Marti Bell

Speaking of things we’ve seen time after time. It’s a brawl to start with Marti scoring off a Samoan Drop to Kim, followed by a running flip neckbreaker for two. Gail gets beaten down a little more until Jade runs into a boot in the corner. The hot tag brings in Madison as everything breaks down. Jade’s dive is broken up by Gail’s forearm, allowing Madison to roll Marti up for the pin at 4:00.

Rating: D. So? The feud is just going to continue because the Dollhouse has the numbers advantage and for some reason they’ll beat everyone down and re-establish dominance that they lose again the next week because they almost never win anything. I’m sure a former Beautiful People member will make the save and set up a six Knockout cage match that only TNA’s hardest of hardcore fans will find interesting because that’s how the Knockouts work.

Post match, the Dollhouse beats down Gail and Madison until Velvet Sky makes the save. Velvet wants Lethal Lockdown next week.

Mahabali Shera is back and has a new friend in Odarg the Great, who says he’s a good guy. It’s clearly Grado as the mask is similar to Vader’s old style.

Eric Young/Bram and Beer Money are still fighting in the back. Pope: “They’ll get tired in a while.” The villains finally start walking away but Beer Money tells the cameraman that they want a cage match next week. So I’m supposed to care about a ten minute match after they just fought for over an hour?

Jesse Godderz/Eli Drake vs. Mahabali Shera/Odarg the Great

Well he was coming an hour ago, then he appeared and now he’s having a match. He even comes out to Grado’s music and doing Grado’s strut, though he’s billed from Parts Unknown. Pope even gets in a Midnight Rider reference as the match begins without a bell that I could hear. Shera drop toeholds Drake down and ties Eli’s arms up to make him do the dance.

Jesse has some better luck by taking Shera to the mat and setting up something like a Demolition Decapitator. Back up and the hot tag brings in Odarg to clean house as everything breaks down. A Sky High gets two on Jesse as Drake goes after the mask. Odarg pulls it off instead and rolls Drake up (looking him right in the face) for the pin at 5:00.

Rating: D+. Maybe it’s how much I’ve disliked this show but I had a good time with this. I can go with comedy much easier when everyone is in on the joke and they’re just having fun with it. I mean, it’s not like the Feast or Fired briefcase has had strict rules before so this is hardly a stretch. If nothing else it’s the most I’ve ever been entertained by Grado and it gives the talented Drake something to do.

Drake’s shocked look post match is great.

Post break Eli wants Grado at Lockdown but Odarg comes up to say he’ll be Drake’s opponent.

Matt Hardy/Tyrus vs. Ethan Carter III

Handicap to start. The fans are doing this awkward wave to Carter’s music and it’s really not working. Tyrus starts for the team but gets knocked back into the corner for an early beating. A t-bone suplex sends Carter flying though and we take a break. Back with Matt dropping a middle rope elbow to Ethan but Rockstar Spud comes out to be Carter’s partner. Ethan scores with a clothesline but stays in to fight Matt as the fans want Spud. A dropkick puts Matt down and the hot tag brings in Spud who actually doesn’t turn on Carter.

There goes the bowtie but Spud beats on Tyrus instead, allowing Matt to take him down with something like Big Show’s Final Cut. The Heart Punch puts Spud down but Tyrus misses a charge in the corner, allowing Spud to grab an Underdog. The real hot tag brings in Carter to face Hardy as everything breaks down. Ethan dives at both guys but they fail to catch him, leaving Carter to crash in an ugly looking landing. Back in and the Side Effect gets two on Ethan, followed by a Twist of Fate to Spud. The 1%er puts Matt away at 12:54.

Rating: C. Just a main event tag match here but I don’t buy the idea of Spud being fine with Carter less than a year after everything that happened. If there’s one thing TNA does well, it’s remember continuity like that so, as predictable as it might be, I’m kind of hoping Spud turns on Carter next week.

Overall Rating: D. This show got better in the second hour but the first hour was one of the least interesting (which is far different than worst) offerings from TNA that I’ve seen in a long time. It showcased so many of their problems: acting like WWE, setting up someone like Decay and then having them lose in their first big match and above all else, a bunch of stuff that we’ve seen before. That’s where TNA loses me: I really have no interest in seeing the same tropes that they’ve covered just a year or so ago. This got better later on, but it really had nowhere to go but up.

Results

James Storm vs. Eric Young went to a double countout

Mike Bennett b. Mandrews – Miracle in Progress

Wolves b. Decay – Brainbuster onto a chair to Steve

Odarg the Great/Mahabali Shera b. Eli Drake/Jesse Godderz – Rollup to Drake

Ethan Carter III/Rockstar Spud b. Tyrus/Matt Hardy – 1%er to Hardy

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume IV at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Impact Wrestling
Date: January 26, 2016
Location: Sands Bethlehem Events Center, Bethlehem, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

Tonight is a special show with the annual Feast or Fired match. In other words, there are four briefcases hung above the ring. You climb a corner and grab a briefcase and try your luck. Three cases contain title shots (World Title, Tag Team Title and King of the Mountain Title) and one pink slip. The big moment is then finding out who has what. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the last man standing match with Matt Hardy beating Ethan Carter III for the World Title in a double turn.

Here’s Jeff Hardy to open things up. He saw what happened last week and it made him sick. That’s why he needs answers right now so the new World Champion needs to get out here right now. Matt’s new music starts off with him saying “I AM ICONIC.” Oh sweet goodness this is going to be a long day. Matt comes out with his wife Reby Sky and Tyrus, who is carrying Matt’s son. Jeff says this is a family issue so it needs to be just the two of them.

Reby laughs that off because she and Matt are a real family. Where was Jeff when the world was turning their back on Matt? It’s time for Matt to stop giving and start taking. Jeff calls all of them some rather rude names and starts a WHY MATT WHY chant. Matt laughs off the fans and says it’s not his fault that Jeff is a cripple. Now Jeff is just the other Hardy and that’s not something he’s going to be able to understand. However, Jeff is now cleared to wrestle so what about a title match tonight? Matt shakes his head and says he washes his hands of everything that happens tonight.

The roster talks about Feast or Fired and explains the basic concept.

Matt vs. Jeff is announced for later with the title on the line.

Feast or Fired

James Storm, Robert Roode, Aiden O’Shea, Bram, Drew Galloway, Chris Melendez, Eric Young, Grado, Jesse Godderz, Robbie E., Eli Drake, Rockstar Spud

Eric is King of the Mountain Champion so he might get a shot at his own title. It’s a huge brawl to start with various people trying to go up after the briefcases but being pulled back down. Robbie dives over the top to dive onto Jesse. Melendez, now in long pants to hide his metal leg, clotheslines Aiden to the floor but gets suplexed by Eric. Roode hits a Blockbuster on Bram but Spud escapes the Roode Bomb. The second attempt sends Spud flying over the top onto a pile of people and the ring is cleared out. Grado crotches O’Shea to make a save and goes up to pull down the first briefcase as we take a break.

Back with everyone still brawling, including Drew clotheslining Bram and Eric down at the same time. Drake ties Galloway in the Tree of Woe, only to have Drew sit up into a German suplex to throw Eli down and grab another briefcase. Young and Spud go up but O’Shea pulls Spud down. Eric goes after Robbie instead and we get a Tower of Power (no longer Doom for some reason) with Melendez powerbombing the two of them down. A bad looking hurricanrana from Storm puts O’Shea down and Roode adds a top rope splash.

Jesse clotheslines Beer Money down but gets caught going up. The distraction lets Drake go up and pull down a third case. Bram and Young are the only ones left in the ring but beat up Melendez and Spud instead of climbing. The delay allows Beer Money to come in and clean house but Roode gets knocked off the top by Eric. Storm hits a Backstabber to pull Young off the top, followed by a Last Call to Bram. Roode gets back in and tells Storm to go get the case to end the match at 16:05.

Rating: D+. I never know how to rate this thing as it’s so all over the place and you only kind of have winners since eight people don’t win and a fourth is out of the company. The match didn’t have any major high spots because we’re just kind of waiting around until the last case is brought down by the fourth winner.

Kurt Angle checks on Jeff Hardy, who says he’s tired of Reby being in Matt’s ear lately. Yeah screw that wife nonsense.

X-Division Title: Tigre Uno vs. Mandrews vs. DJZ

Tigre is defending. It’s all over the place to start with the champ being sent outside, leaving Mandrews to backflip away from a charge and knock DJZ down with a dropkick. Tigre comes back in and rolls up DJZ while he’s backsliding Mandrews. That’s followed by an Indian Deathlock on DJZ and a Gory Stretch on Mandrews at the same time, only to have the champ sent outside again.

DJZ dropkicks Tigre off the apron and scores with a big flip dive, followed by Mandrews’ skateboarding down the ramp into a headscissors spot. Back in and DJZ gets two off a reverse hurricanrana on Mandrews. Tigre gets up and throws DJZ out, setting up a Spanish Fly (top rope C4) for the pin on Mandrews at 6:26.

Rating: C. DO SOMETHING NEW! I’ve lost track of how many times I’ve seen these people fight and I never need to see it again. They’ve reached the point where you can call the spots because they’ve done them so many times. From what I can find, Tigre has had one singles title defense since July. Everything else has been a multi-man title defense and each one has had DJZ involved. Bring in some jobbers or something but find a way to make this more interesting.

Post match Gregory Helms comes out to say this company was built on the X-Division but Tigre’s time as champion is over. Apparently that means a title match next week.

Awesome Kong tells the Dollhouse to stay in the back while she takes someone to school.

Eli Drake is worried about what’s in his briefcase. Godderz tells him not to worry so Drake unlocks the case and teases looking inside.

Angle comes up to see Tyrus and Matt to ask what’s going on. Matt says he’s building a brand but Angle says that brand is tearing this company down. That’s not cool with Matt because Kurt is one of the two people he respects so don’t ruin that.

Awesome Kong vs. Velvet Sky

Sky hits a quick jawbreaker and starts kicking away at the leg because that’s what everyone does to giants. A clothesline drops Velvet to the floor and the ring skirt is pulled off on the way down. Back in and Velvet fires off more kicks to the leg but has to avoid a splash. Sky gets two off a running bulldog but gets run over with ease. Now the splash connects, followed by the Implant Buster for the pin at 3:40.

Rating: D. Just a squash here, even though Kong already lost the big showdown with Kim. As usual, this division is little more than a stable war with Gail Kim on top because she’s almost always Knockouts Champion. It feels like we’ve seen this same stuff for years now and I have no idea what I’m supposed to get out of all this stuff all over again.

Post match Kong goes after Sky even more but Madison Rayne runs in. This brings out the Dollhouse for the real beatdown, capped off by Kong’s middle rope splash to Sky.

The Wolves want to fight Abyss/Crazzy Steve for the sneak attack last week.

It’s time for the Feast or Fired reveal because waiting until next week is a bad idea around here. Before we get the openings, Michael Bennett and Maria come in and say one of these guys is going to need a miracle. He’s always in for a good train wreck though so he’s going to sit back and watch. Drew isn’t cool with that because he’s not the kind of a guy who is going to stand around waiting on something to happen. Galloway says Maria is the brains of the outfit and a fight is teased but Mike and Maria leave. Back to the reveals with Drake volunteering to go first. Inside his case: King of the Mountain Title shot. We’ll finish this later.

The Wolves want Crazzy Steve out here right now to get their title back from Crazzy Steve and whoever helped him steal them last week (it was pretty clearly Abyss). A woman comes out in something like a Harley Quinn outfit saying everything will decay. This brings out Crazzy Steve, followed by Abyss as we take a break.

Wolves vs. Abyss/Crazzy Steve

This is joined in progress and it’s not clear if the titles are on the line. Abyss splashes Eddie in the corner and brings in Steve to fishhook the jaws. It’s quickly back to Abyss who allows the tag to Davey but takes him down just as fast. Steve comes back in and bites Davey’s boot, which apparently hurts.

Not that it matters as Davey kicks him off and brings in Eddie to clean house. Steve bites his way out of the Backpack Stunner but gets thrown into the air for the kick to the chest. The creepy woman appears on the stage with the titles though to distract Davey, leaving Eddie to take the Black Hole Slam. Steve mists Davey and that’s a DQ at 6:03.

Rating: D+. Well I guess it’s better than nothing. They have to build up someone to feud with the Wolves after most of the other teams have left. However, it’s pretty clear that we’re going to see Beer Money vs. the Wolves in the big showdown at some point so this is really just a filler. At least it’s better than two generic guys though.

Post match Steve puts Davey in the crossface chickenwing while the woman bites Richards’ shoulder.

Back to the briefcase reveals as JB explains the rules for probably the fifth time. Storm goes next and promises to give Roode the World Title shot if he finds it. James is distraught by what he finds but it’s a Tag Team Title shot. Drew opens his case and finds the World Title shot, meaning Grado is fired, which takes a second to kick in. A lot of sadness ensues until Grado leaves the room.

TNA World Title: Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy

Matt is defending and is now named Big Money Matt during the big match intros. The bell rings but here’s Eric freaking Young to yell about how he should get the title shot. As he yells, Bram comes in from behind and the beatdown is on. Officially the “match” ended at 39 seconds but there was never any contact.

Matt leaves Jeff to get beaten down and Young pulls out a chair. Beer Money makes the save but Steve and Abyss run in to keep the villains in control. Roode and Storm clear them out as well but the four of them head up the ramp, leaving Matt to stand over Jeff. Cue Kurt Angle but Tyrus decks him from behind. Matt and company leave, allowing Eric to piledrive Jeff through the table to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. Well they certainly didn’t bore me tonight. The Hardys fighting isn’t interesting to me in the slightest and you could tell it wasn’t going anywhere tonight because they’re coming up on the European tour, meaning it’s time for Jeff to go away for a little while. The rest of the show was all over the place and they did a good enough job with Feast or Fired, though again one of the same issues comes through: TNA doesn’t know how to take their time.

Matt vs. Jeff and Feast or Fired could have been built up for weeks but instead they’re both blown off in the span of a single night. Slow things down for a bit and let these stories build up so there’s a bit more, forgive me, impact. This happens way too often around here and it gets annoying as almost nothing has the chance to build up and give you a big payoff.

Results

Grado, Drew Galloway, Eli Drake and James Storm won Feast or Fired

Tigre Uno b. DJZ and Mandrews – Spanish Fly to Mandrews

Awesome Kong b. Velvet Sky – Implant Buster

Wolves b. Abyss/Crazzy Steve via DQ when Steve sprayed mist in Davey’s face

Jeff Hardy b. Matt Hardy via DQ when Bram interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume IV at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Impact Wrestling
Date: November 25, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

It’s the final night of group play as we’re finally going to know the final sixteen people who could become the new World Champion. That means the matches almost all have meaning for a change, which should mix things up a good bit. There’s no word on what happens after this but the finals should be coming soon. Let’s get to it.

We open with the standard recap and preview.

Group X-Division: DJZ vs. Manik vs. Tigre Uno

This is a playoff after these three tied in points. It’s a two fall match with the winner of the first fall getting to leave and then the second winner advancing as well. They all go after each other to start with Tigre sending both guys to the floor and hitting a huge moonsault off the top to take them both out. Back in and Manik and Uno trade arm holds until DJZ comes back in to break it up, only to be sent to the floor. Manik puts Tigre in a Gory Special and adds a reverse Boston crab to DJZ at the same time. Back up and DJZ grabs a quick double DDT to advance to the round of sixteen.

Tigre starts fast with a reverse suplex into a Stunner for two (cool move) but gets caught in a cross armbreaker. That sends Tigre to the ropes so Manik tries a belly to back superplex, only to get elbowed down. A split legged corkscrew moonsault sends Tigre to the next round at 7:57.

Rating: C. This is becoming my standard rating for an X-Division match. It didn’t have much time to go anywhere, the high spots were fun and the title meant nothing. I’m really not sure what they see in DJZ going forward after the changes to Manik but why bother with potential when you can go with comedy?

Drew Galloway was in Glasgow and talks about being married to this business because it’s all you have time for as a wrestler. This is the longest time he’s been home in ten years and he can’t wait to come back here with his perfect partner: the World Heavyweight Championship.

Group UK: Rockstar Spud vs. Drew Galloway

Feeling out process to start until Drew unleashes the power with a gorilla press. They head outside with Drew sending him back first into the apron, only to miss a charge and go head first into the steps. Drew barely beats the count back in and misses a charge into the post to make things even worse. Some running dropkicks and an enziguri mean it’s time for Spud to take off the bowtie. The Underdog is broken up but Drew can’t bring himself to take a cheap shot, allowing Spud to grab a jumping DDT for two. Not that it matters as the Claymore (running boot, to the chest in this case) puts Spud away at 7:17.

Rating: B-. Better than I was expecting here as Spud has found that perfect formula to make you believe that he could pull off a huge upset like this without it being ridiculous. Galloway is going to make a deep run in this thing and it’s cool to see him have to sweat a bit against someone who is fun to watch in Spud. Good match here and better than I was hoping for.

Group UK

Drew Galloway – 9 points (0 matches remaining)

Bram – 3 points (1 match remaining)

Rockstar Spud – 3 points (0 matches remaining)

Grado – 0 points (1 match remaining)

Group UK: Grado vs. Bram

If Bram wins, he advances to the round of sixteen. If Grado wins, there’s a three way playoff with Spud, Bram and Grado later tonight. Grado dances a lot and gets rolled up in four seconds. They had to get seven matches in tonight so this almost had to happen at some point.

Group UK

Drew Galloway – 9 points (0 matches remaining)

Bram – 6 points (0 matches remaining)

Rockstar Spud – 3 points (0 matches remaining)

Grado – 0 points (0 matches remaining)

Group Future Four: Micah vs. Jesse Godderz

Winner advances. Micah gets sent to the floor to start as Pope talks about getting the job done no matter what he was doing. Well he certainly did a lot of jobs so he’s got something there. Back in and Jesse slowly pounds away until Micah makes his comeback to indifference. A Samoan drop puts Jesse down but he avoids a top rope headbutt, setting up the Adonis Crab to advance Jesse at 4:29.

Rating: D. Is there a reason Micah has a job? He’s generic in the ring, no one cares about him, and I don’t remember a single thing about him. Jesse is starting to turn a very weak corner and it’s always good to have a heel that you want to see get punched in the face. At least they kept this quick as this group has been death since it started.

Group Future Four

Eli Drake – 7 points (0 matches remaining)

Jesse Godderz – 6 points (0 matches remaining)

Micah – 4 points (0 matches remaining)

Crimson – 0 points (0 matches remaining)

Recap of Group Tag Team.

Kurt Angle has been in the UK to hype up the Maximum Impact tour. He officially announced his retirement tour and says his run is over, possibly after this tour.

Group Tag Team Specialists: Robbie E. vs. Davey Richards

Winner advances. They trade armdrags to start and it’s an early standoff. Robbie’s armbar doesn’t work and Davey sends him to the floor, only to have Robbie switch places for a flip dives off the apron. Back in and Davey takes over with a clothesline and inverted Indian deathlock. Robbie fights up with some clotheslines to set up the Boom Drop for a close two, more or less sealing his fate. They trade rollups until Davey stomps onto Robbie’s chest for two more. Creeping Death advances Davey at 7:15.

Rating: C+. Gah I can’t stand Davey Richards. He’s fun when he’s out there with Edwards but when he gets into that martial arts and LET ME SHOW YOU NINTEEN DIFFERENT WAYS I CAN KICK YOU stuff, he’s one of the most annoying guys I’ve ever seen. Robbie would have been a fun story but we’ll go with dull and overrated instead.

Group Tag Team Specialists

Matt Hardy – 9 points (0 matches remaining)

Davey Richards – 4 point (0 matches remaining)

Robbie E. – 3 points (0 matches remaining)

Eddie Edwards – 1 point (0 matches remaining)

Group Wild Card: Crazzy Steve vs. Kenny King

If Steve wins we have another playoff but if King wins, he advances. They start fast and trade armdrags to continue a popular trend tonight. Josh recaps the Menagerie until King elbows Steve in the face to take over. Steve goes up top and honks his horn before a springboard hurricanrana gets two. What appeared to be a Codebreaker is countered into the Royal Flush to advance King, who I don’t think is with the promotion anymore, at 4:29.

Rating: F. This is your weekly WHY AM I WATCHING THIS match as Steve is an unfunny comedy guy who is still around for reasons I’ll never understand. The only good thing here is the lack of having to watch Aiden O’Shea and Steve again in a playoff. This was the worst division by about a mile and one of the few I actually dreaded.

Group Wild Card

Mahabali Shera – 9 points (0 matches remaining)

Kenny King – 6 points (0 matches remaining)

Aiden O’Shea – 3 points (0 matches remaining)

Crazzy Steve – 0 points (0 matches remaining)

Aries says Lashley will have to be at his best to win.

Pope gives out more awards:

Move of the Tournament – Sky High to Kenny King

Upset of the Tournament – Brooke b. Gail Kim

Turkey of the Tournament – Grado vs. Rockstar Spud

Group Champions: Lashley vs. Austin Aries

Winner advances. Aries bounces off Lashley to start until a missile dropkick staggers Lashley a bit. That’s fine with Lashley as he throws Aries away and starts driving shoulders in the corner. Aries knees his way out of a delayed vertical suplex by knocking Lashley down to a knee but Lashley stands back up and suplexes him anyway. That is SCARY power.

Back from a break with Aries elbowing out of Lashley’s grip but getting caught in a belly to belly. The spear hits the post though and Aries follows up with a missile dropkick. Lashley slaps him out of the corner though and dead lifts him into a powerslam. I repeat my scary power line. The Last Chancery doesn’t get Aries anywhere so he goes with discus forearms. Lashley again powers out of the brainbuster and throws Aries over his head with a release German.

Aries avoids the spear but Lashley sidesteps the suicide dive. The match comes to a screeching halt as Aries is holding his arm with ninety seconds to go. Lashley finally clotheslines him down again as this thing JUST WON’T END. Aries grabs the Lash Chancery but Lashley makes the rope. Instead of standing around for the last thirty seconds, Aries tries a 450 but eats a spear to send Lashley on at 15:05.

Rating: B. At least it went out on a good match, even though Aries got stupid at the end after being smart most of the time. Lashley is the smart choice here since he actually works for TNA, but Aries was a nice surprise. I mean, I’m stupid for realizing he’s a surprise according to Josh but he’s a lot smarter than me after all.

Group Champions

Ethan Carter III – 7 points (0 matches remaining)

Lashley – 6 points (0 matches remaining)

Austin Aries – 4 points (0 matches remaining)

Mr. Anderson – 0 points (0 matches remaining)

We recap the night because just announcing the brackets isn’t interesting enough.

Here are the official round of sixteen brackets:

Ethan Carter III

DJZ

Bram

Davey Richards

Lashley

Drew Galloway

Mahabali Shera

Eli Drake

Tigre Uno

Gail Kim

Eric Young

Kenny King

Jesse Godderz

Awesome Kong

Bobby Roode

Matt Hardy

That could be worse, but they’ve handed Carter a spot in the semifinals.

Ethan Carter III is thrilled with his draw.

DJZ is ready…..for the three women he’s brought home.

Davey Richards is of course respectful about Bram.

Eli Drake is a smarmy jerk and says he won’t be dancing with Shera. I like him more and more every time I hear him talk.

Eric Young IS GOD.

Jesse Godderz isn’t worried about any man, woman or Kong.

Bobby Roode says his toughest test is coming.

Matt Hardy thinks no one is stopping him.

Overall Rating: C-. THANK GOODNESS! I am so incredibly sick of this tournament and listening to Josh talk about how IT’S SUDDEN DEATH IN THIS GROUP and having Pope call everyone daddy every ten seconds. I understand that there has been a lot of action in this and some of it has been really good. However, so much of it has been stuff like Jesse vs. Micah or King vs. Steve.

The good is indeed good but this concept going on for two straight months with NOTHING else would drive anyone crazy. If you want to have a tournament then fine, but don’t drag it out this long. The good is completely overshadowed by the bad and uninteresting, leaving you with two months of watchable wrestling that is completely wasted because it’s the same idea over and over and over. At least it’s over now and we can get on to……the actual tournament.

Results

Tigre Uno and DJZ b. Manik – Split legged corkscrew moonsault

Drew Galloway b. Rockstar Spud – Claymore

Bram b. Grado – Rollup

Jesse Godderz b. Micah – Adonis crab

Davey Richards b. Robbie E. – Creeping Death

Kenny King b. Crazzy Steve – Royal Flush

Lashley b. Austin Aries – Spear

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Impact Wrestling
Date: October 28, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

We’re still in the early part of the World Title Series as we hit week #4. As much as I like the presentation as they treat this like a real sporting event, the lack of stories are making this hard for me to get into. There’s no reason for these people to be fighting other than they have some similar characteristics or backgrounds and they’ve been scheduled against each other. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s matches and see a preview of tonight’s matches.

The announcers do the same things the opening video did.

Ethan Carter III brags about kicking out of Lashley’s spear and promises to win the title.

Group Tag Team Specialists: Matt Hardy vs. Robbie E.

Feeling out process to start with Matt taking him into the corner for some right hands. Pope feels the need to explain why wins are important in this series and Josh talks about Robbie E. challenging Rob Gronkowski in a stupid idea that TNA never learns from. A corner clothesline puts Robbie on the floor but he comes back with a flip dive off the apron to put Matt in trouble.

Now Pope compares Robbie to Leif Cassady and Josh tries to convince me that Robbie might be World Champion, which continues to show the problem with this entire concept. Back in and the Side Effect from Matt and a middle rope clothesline from Robbie get two each but Matt picks it up with a big sitout powerbomb. The Twist of Fate is countered into the Boom Drop for a close two and that’s it for Robbie’s chance. Another Side Effect and another Twist of Fate give Matt the pin at 6:40.

Rating: C+. The match was good but totally uninteresting for a point that I’ve already beaten into the ground despite having probably another two months of qualifying matches before we get to the actual tournament. Robbie is a nice midcard guy but he’s on a long list of people who have no reason to be involved in a World Title competition.

Group Tag Team Specialists

Matt Hardy – 6 points (1 match remaining)

Robbie E. – 3 points (1 match remaining

Edwards – 0 points (2 matches remaining)

Richards – 0 points (2 matches remaining)

Gail promises to fight Awesome Kong hard again tonight. Can they just show us the Bound For Glory match so I can save some time?

Matt says Robbie is tough and he was impressed.

Robbie says he doesn’t feel like a loser because he earned some respect.

Back to Matt when Grado comes up to ask for a picture because he’s a fan. Is this their best version of comedy these days?

Video on Drew Galloway.

Group UK: Grado vs. Drew Galloway

Speaking of wastes of time. The bell doesn’t even ring for this match and Grado starts with a schoolboy trip for two. Drew throws him to the mat and starts chopping in the corner. Grado’s comedy seems to get on Drew’s nerves so he chops away and throws Grado again with a belly to belly for two.

Drew slaps him in the face and Grado comes back with some right hands and an elbow to the head. A Rock Bottom and Cannonball in the corner (called a flippy move by Pope) have Drew in trouble. Grado puts him in the Tree of Woe but Galloway sits up and grabs a German suplex, followed by the running boot (the Claymore according to Josh) for the pin at 4:39.

Rating: D+. Fine enough for a match with the most obvious ending in the whole competition so far. It would be nice if they would just put Spud and Galloway in the next round already because there’s almost no chance of anyone else moving forward. Then again that can’t be done because they’ve taped all this in advance and that’s what we’re getting like it or not. I’m sure I’m too stupid to understand why I want to watch a bunch of average and uninteresting matches though.

Group UK

Drew Galloway – 6 points (1 match remaining)

Rockstar Spud – 3 points (2 matches remaining)

Bram – 0 points (2 matches remaining)

Grado – 0 points (1 match remaining)

Clip of Gail Kim beating Awesome Kong at some show in the past that isn’t important enough to name.

We look back at the final destruction of the Revolution with Mahabali Shera pinning James Storm. Shera dances you know. They’re talking about it on Twitter.

Group Wild Card: Aiden O’Shea vs. Crazzy Steve

Oh come on. I know I probably complain about this Series too much but I’m supposed to want to watch this? They circle each other for about a minute to start until O’Shea slugs him down. O’Shea shoves him into the corner and takes a boxing stance as Steve is down on the mat. They head outside with Aiden punching him in the jaw but then punches the steps and post by mistake. Back in and Steve bites his hand, only to have Aiden take his head off with a clothesline for the pin at 4:47.

Rating: D. Well at least it was short. O’Shea is fine for a brawler and it’s a good idea to have him win here but this was such a waste of time. They couldn’t air something old and just give this a thirty second highlight package? This is the perfect example of a match that is making the Series feel like it’s taking forever to get through and a big reason why people aren’t very interested.

Group Wild Card

Mahabali Shera – 3 points (2 matches remaining)

Kenny King – 3 points (2 matches remaining)

Aiden O’Shea – 3 points (1 match remaining)

Crazzy Steve – 0 points (1 match remaining)

Abyss says the only thing that soothes him is gold because he’s a monster. He’ll win and you can take that to the bank.

Package on Storm vs. Abyss.

More clips of an unknown Gail Kim vs. Awesome Kong match.

Grado is confused after getting kicked in the head and doesn’t remember anything since the end of the match.

The announcers recap Group UK.

Group TNA Originals: Abyss vs. James Storm

Before the match, Storm suggests Abyss turn around and leave so Storm can win by countout. Abyss says he’s a monster and punches Storm in the face to get things going. A chokeslam doesn’t work but Storm charges into a side slam. Back from an early break with Storm diving off the steps and having to escape a chokeslam attempt. Storm loads a chair into the corner but Abyss sends him face first into it instead.

Hebner lets it go and Abyss drops a splash for two. It’s Janice time but it gets stuck in the turnbuckle like it does every single time, setting up Closing Time and a cowbell to the head for two. Storm goes up top and counters a superplex attempt into a powerbomb, followed by a top rope elbow for another near fall. Back up and Abyss no sells the Last Call and chokeslams Storm for two. With nothing else working, Storm spits beer into Abyss’ face and hits two more Last Calls for the pin at 11:00.

Rating: C-. Way too many weapons in here and I have no idea why they would let Abyss no sell Storm’s finisher. The match wasn’t the worst in the world but more than that it was nice to see a match where I didn’t know who was going to win. That’s been the big problem with tonight’s show: I either didn’t care who won or I could figure it out as soon as the names were announced. Good enough match here, despite how ridiculous they were with the weapons here.

Group TNA Originals

Bobby Roode – 3 points (2 matches remaining)

Abyss – 3 points (1 match remaining)

James Storm – 3 points (1 match remaining

Eric Young – 0 points (2 matches remaining)

Shera loves the World Title Series and thinks this is a cool opportunity to his family. He respects everyone else in the group and will do his talking in the ring. The upcoming India tour is a dream come true for him and he wants to return home with the World Title.

We preview next week with Shera vs. King, Brooke vs. Rayne and an interview with Jeff Hardy. A quick preview of the interview focuses on how happy he was to see Matt as World Champion.

Bobby Roode vs. Eric Young next week in another match we’ve seen way too many times.

Group X-Division: Tigre Uno vs. DJZ

Tigre takes him down by the arm to start as the announcers bicker over who is supposed to call play by play. DJZ sends the champ (no belt in sight here) into the corner for a running dropkick. We hit the chinlock on Tigre for a bit until he pops up and dropkicks DJZ outside. A corkscrew plancha connects for the champ (Josh: “Carpet defense!”) and they trade hurricanranas back inside. Tigre’s split legged corkscrew moonsault misses and DJZ’s tornado DDT is good for the pin at 6:43.

Rating: C. Fun enough match and we have yet ANOTHER group where three people have won a match each. Josh suggested that this might lead to an X-Division Title match, even though Tigre isn’t going to be defending the thing until around Christmas. You would think that would mean vacating the title due to a lack of defenses but that’s not the case around here.

Group X-Division

Tigre Uno – 3 points (1 match remaining)

Manik – 3 points (2 matches remaining)

DJZ – 3 points (1 match remaining)

Mandrews – 0 points (2 matches remaining)

Clips from Kim vs. Kong at Bound For Glory 2015.

Group Knockouts: Gail Kim vs. Awesome Kong

In case you haven’t seen this one enough yet. Gail goes after the arm to start but gets sent out to the floor. Pope thinks these two are like twins. Because they know each other so well you see. A big clothesline sends Gail outside again and we take a break. Back with Gail fighting out of a camel clutch and scoring with a jawbreaker before kicking away at the legs.

Gail tries a Black Widow but opts to dropkick Kong to the floor and dive off the apron with a flying forearm. Back in and Gail’s cross body is countered into a World’s Strongest Slam for two we as have under five minutes to go (meaning their clock is way off this week). The chokeslam is countered into a DDT and a high cross body gets two for Gail. Kong loads up a powerbomb but gets caught in a hurricanrana to give Kim the pin at 13:58.

Rating: C. Well they certainly had another match. This is considered one of the greatest rivalries in TNA history and it’s really just ok. Yeah they had some awesome matches about nine years ago but I haven’t seen them do anything above average in years now. This was a decent enough match but nothing that makes me want to see them fight again.

Group Knockouts

Brooke – 3 points (2 matches remaining)

Gail Kim – 3 points (1 match remaining)

Awesome Kong – 3 points (1 match remaining)

Madison Rayne – 0 points (2 matches remaining)

Overall Rating: D. The show is over and I’m totally numb. I don’t have any feelings about it and I really didn’t for the two hours the show was on the air. The wrestling was adequate for the most part and there were times where I didn’t know who was going to win, but I didn’t care. These shows (and we’re just getting started with them) are offering no reason for me to care and it’s getting worse every week. It’s really hard to drive a show on pure wrestling and this is the proof of why.

For two hours tonight, I sat here listening to Josh and Pope do the same analysis of what it means for someone to be two matches in with no points or how confident they must be to have six points and only one match to go. The groups are the exact same idea with different names included and if you’ve watched TNA for more than five minutes you can pretty much pick the field of sixteen from here. I’m sure the TNA super fans will have some excuse for why the show bombed like the World Series, the Republican debate etc., because there’s ALWAYS something else on that interferes with TNA.

Maybe next week we can cancel all other TV and air Impact on every channel. Then people can be collectively bored by this concept with no individual stories and no real reason to watch until around Christmas because this company spent years putting on boring TV and keep getting canceled but we’re supposed to treat them like some kind of plucky victim that never did anything wrong. This is boring television and the audience tuning out is proving it, no matter what excuses TNA’s diehard fans have.

Results

Matt Hardy b. Robbie E. – Twist of Fate

Drew Galloway b. Grado – Claymore

Aiden O’Shea b. Crazzy Steve – Clothesline

James Storm b. Abyss – Last Call

DJZ b. Tigre Uno – Tornado DDT

Gail Kim b. Awesome Kong – Hurricanrana

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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