IMG Credit: WWE

Great American Bash 2004
Date: June 27, 2004
Location: Norfolk Scope, Norfolk, Virginia
Attendance: 6,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We had to get here at some point and that’s not the most appealing thing in the world. The double main event will see JBL challenging Eddie Guerrero for the WWE Title in a Texas Bullrope match (totally different than the Montana bullrope match) and the Undertaker vs. the Dudley Boyz in a Concrete Crypt match (totally different than the good idea match). Let’s get to it.

The opening video focuses on being yourself (like Eddie Guerrero and John Cena) no matter what people say (like JBL and Kurt Angle). And something about Undertaker trying to save Paul Bearer from being encased in concrete as a bunch of children recite the Pledge of Allegiance.

Here’s Torrie Wilson as the sexy Uncle Sam to welcome us to the show, with a special shout out to the US armed forces. That’s nice of them, but when you cut to the cement mixer that might be used for televised murder, it doesn’t have the same impact.

US Title: John Cena vs. Booker T. vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Rene Dupree

Cena is defending and this is under elimination rules. We get the pre-match rap with Cena making his usual gay jokes, this time about Kurt Angle. He also throws in a GI Bro joke for old times’ sake but that’s a bit too classy so let’s get some gay jokes in on Rene as well. The brawl is on to start with Booker and Rene being knocked down so we can have the Van Dam vs. Cena slugout.

Booker pulls Rob outside and sends him into various things as Rene suplexes Cena for two. Rene actually wins a slugout with Cena (how odd) and even low bridges him to the floor. After Rene struts a bit, Booker is smart enough to send Rob inside so he doesn’t have to do much early on. That means chinlockery as Booker yells at the fans. Van Dam fights up and hits Rolling Thunder as the singles match continues. Dupree gets sent outside so Rob flip dives onto both he and Cena with the latter being thrown back in.

Some rollups give Rob two as Booker is still content to watch from ringside. Again: not the worst idea and showing some good thinking here. Some place switching leaves us with Rene vs. Booker for a double knockdown, allowing Van Dam to hit a Five Star on Rene. Cena gets knocked off the top and now the Five Star hits Booker. The writhing around on the mat takes too long though and Cena rolls Van Dam up for the first elimination.

The double teaming of Cena begins with Booker dropping the knee. Booker isn’t going to let Rene steal his cover though and there’s the required argument between two morons who are in complete control. Cena makes his comeback in short order and there’s an FU on Rene, but Booker kicks Cena down and steals the elimination.

We’re down to one on one with Booker hitting a side slam for a fast two. The chinlock goes on for a long time (albeit with a stop for a kick to the face in the middle) and Cena fights up as you might expect. Right hands and a side slam set up the Shuffle for two as Cena is getting fired up. Booker is right back with his kick to the face but the ax kick misses, setting up the FU to retain Cena’s title.

Rating: C+. Good opener here with Cena fighting through the odds and getting a nice win. They’re turning him into a star with this reign and beating three guys is a great way to get him higher up the ladder. You could easily do a Cena vs. Booker feud to make things even better from here.

I’m still not sure what difference it made to have this be an elimination match though, as Cena won the first fall and the rules let him avoid a lot of punishment by standing outside. Odds are it’s just a time thing, but it doesn’t make a ton of sense at least from Angle’s perspective. The one thing that worries me here: this was one of the few solid matches they had on the show and we have nearly two and a half hours to go. This could get bad in a hurry.

In the back, Cena hits on Jackie Gayda (also in a red, white and blue outfit) when Angle comes up. He’s not happy with Charlie Haas, who has fallen way too far. Charlie can face Angle’s new protege right now. Good thing Charlie was standing right there in his gear. This segment was straight out of a regular episode of Smackdown.

Sable is in a hot tub to interview….herself. She’s hotter than Torrie and can prove it tonight.

Charlie Haas vs. Luther Reigns

Jackie and Angle are here too, making this about as overbooked as you could ask it to be. Charlie tries the wrestling to start but can’t do much with the really strong Reigns. A boot to the chest drops Charlie and the stomping begins. One heck of a whip into the corner has Angle applauding and Haas gets tossed outside. The chinlock goes on and Jackie goes into cheerleading mode, which fits well given that she’s in something close to a cheerleading outfit.

A gorilla press gives Reigns two and we hit a half crab, which is about as bad of an idea as you could have right now. Charlie fights up and gets punched into the corner as Angle tells Reigns to hurry up. Some suplexes give Charlie two but he misses a charge into the post, setting up the rolling cutter to give Reigns the pin.

Rating: D-. What am I even supposed to say here? It’s a match that would have been boring on Smackdown and is getting pay per view time because they don’t have anything else to put on in its place. Reigns is fine for what he is, but that doesn’t mean he needs to be getting a pay per view spot, especially in a bad squash.

JBL says he got ripped off at Judgment Day and tonight, he gets what he wants. As always. And remember: everyone who doesn’t like him is wrong because he’s great and gets to prove it. Thank goodness the fans were already asleep after the previous match.

Cruiserweight Title: Chavo Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio

Chavo is challenging after winning a battle royal on Tuesday. He’s on his own here as I guess we’re no longer graces by the essence of Classic. Dang it he was one of the best things about this show (not the highest bar to clear but still). They hit the mat to start with Rey rolling him up for two as Chavo can’t keep up. Chavo’s rollup gives him two of his own and that means a standoff.

Rey slaps on an armbar and gets two more off another rollup, meaning the second standoff in just a few minutes. Seems like they have a lot of time here. It’s back to the arm with a short armscissors but Rey tries to go for a springboard, allowing Chavo to dropkick him to the floor. Rey comes up holding his knee and Chavo has a target. Some cannonballs down onto the knee have Rey in trouble but he uses the good leg to kick Chavo out to the floor. It doesn’t do much good as Chavo comes back in for a half crab Liontamer.

For some reason Chavo picks him up in a wheelbarrow, allowing Rey to plant him with the bulldog. Sometimes villains never learn. Chavo is fine enough to whip him into the corner and the knee gives out. A near Jackhammer gives Chavo two and it’s right back to the knee. It’s off to a Brock Lock for a bit until Rey fights up with a headscissors (though it was more like Rey falling down and Chavo flipping). Chavo is smart enough to kick at the knee again and this time he ties Rey in the Tree of Woe.

As expected though, Chavo tries a completely unnecessary charge and goes shoulder first into the post. That means a seated senton off the top, with Rey landing on the knee again. My goodness there are some stupid people in this match. Back in and they go to the top at the same time for a double faceplant. Rey gets two off a rollup and hits a quick middle rope dropkick, followed by a Russian legsweep for a little change of pace.

The springboard seated senton gets two but Rey charges into a Gory Bomb for two (with the bad arm keeping him from hooking the leg). Rey enziguris him into the ropes but the 619 is countered into another half crab. That’s rolled through as well so Chavo tries a second Gory Bomb, which is reversed into a sunset flip to retain the title.

Rating: B. I’ve got a feeling this is the high point for the show and we’re not even halfway through. They had a nice story going with the knee vs. the arm and it played into the action multiple times. These two know each other so well that it’s almost impossible to not have a good match and the nearly twenty minutes never felt long. Solid match here and the best thing the show is likely to have.

Torrie is in the hot tub with some cruiserweights. They argue over the match until she stands up. Funaki: “God bless America.”

Kenzo Suzuki vs. Billy Gunn

For those of you who were begging for a rematch. Cole on Suzuki: “He’s undefeated on American soil.” He’s not even undefeated this week ham head. We even see a clip of the loss to make Cole look even dumber. They stare at each other to start, though Gunn stares at Hiroko to add in some flavor. Gunn starts with some right hands and a fisherman’s suplex for two. A swinging neckbreaker keeps Gunn in trouble but the claw legsweep drops him.

The nerve hold goes on as you can hear the fans slowly dying before our eyes. Suzuki elbows him in the face to cut off a comeback and it’s time to choke with a knee. A suplex sets up a seated abdominal stretch to keep Gunn in trouble. The USA chants (remember this is a Navy town so they’re extra strong) eventually overcome the power of boring wrestling so Gunn starts the comeback with a Stinger Splash.

Rating: F. It was bad on Smackdown and it was even worse here because it had more time. Suzuki is already a disaster and I don’t see him getting any better anytime soon. He has no charisma and isn’t intimidating as he’s every Japanese stereotype you can think of in one bad heel. The finishers are even worse as they’re the kind of moves you would expect about two minutes into a ten minute match, not as a way to wrap things up.

Heyman has Paul Bearer bound and gagged (Again: SOMEONE CALL THE COPS ALREADY!!!) and promises that he isn’t bluffing. He explains the idea of murdering Bearer by encasing him in concrete and undoing the gag just as Bearer is about to suffocate. Is he going to have a fishing pole rigged up or is he diving into the concrete to get the gag? Undertaker has to do the right thing of Bearer dies. This gets dumber and dumber every time they talk about it.

Torrie Wilson vs. Sable

Torrie is in red, white and blue while Sable is in red. Commie. Sable bails to start as the cameraman suddenly starts getting some rather close shots with some carefully selected angles. Something like a snapmare out of the corner lets Sable carefully kick her in the back. They manage to screw up a sunset flip and a drop toehold before Sable chokes on the rope.

Rating: F. That’s one of the worst women’s matches I’ve ever seen as not only did they look terrible, but they even had a few minutes to work, making the punishment last even longer. Just have them stand around and look good and be done with it because this is a disaster. Oh and well done on having the one in the American flag gear lose in the match after the evil Japanese guy won. I would ask if they wanted to kill the crowd, but just look at the show so far.

Replays show that neither shoulder was down. How do you possibly screw that up so badly?

Dawn Marie is by the hot tub to talk to Rene, who insists that he’s getting a rematch for the title. He offers to show her his, ahem, French Tickler and then dances. The FBI shows up with Nunzio showing off his shoe size. She doesn’t seem to get the reference so let’s make fun of Dupree for having small shoes.

Mordecai vs. Hardcore Holly

Because WWE hates us. They start fighting at the bell with Holly tying him in the ropes. That’s not a good look for a religious zealot. Mordecai gets loose and sends him into the staff at ringside before starting in on the back. A boot to the side of the head sets up a chinlock, which again is an improvement after what we’ve sat through so far. Holly fights up and hits a hot shot, followed by a top rope clothesline. Mordecai plants him with a sitout spinebuster for two, followed by the crucifix bomb for the pin.

Rating: F. I don’t remember the last time I saw three F’s in a row. High school probably. This was another terrible mess with Mordecai having a great look but not being able to do a thing in the ring. Then again, what are you expecting in a match against Holly on pay per view? This had no business being on a major show, especially the third terrible match like this in a row.

We recap Eddie Guerrero vs. JBL. Eddie was left a bloody mess at Judgment Day but he retained the title. Now it’s a Texas Bullrope match because JBL is still a thing and he doesn’t want Eddie to be able to get himself disqualified. Hearing his promos over the highlight package are draining, which says a lot given that I just sat through the three previous matches on the card.

Smackdown World Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Eddie is defending and it’s a Texas Bullrope match, meaning they’re attached at the wrist and you win by touching four consecutive corners. There are lights over the corners to designate someone touching a post. Tony Chimel announces the rules, and says you can get disqualified if you unhook yourself from the rope. Wait. We just sat through a video where JBL said he made the rules so Eddie can’t get disqualified. But there’s a rule where Eddie can get disqualified? That’s some Roddy Piper Starrcade 1996 logic.

Of course there’s a bell on the rope, just in case you were hoping to avoid some really annoying sounds in this one. Eddie goes for the knee to start and them tosses JBL down with the rope. A bell shot to the knee has Eddie in trouble as the rope comes off for a few seconds. Eddie comes back with a backdrop and gets two buckles but a rope shot to the throat breaks the momentum (always the clearest concept in the world) and we’re back to even.

There’s a cowbell to the head and JBL ties him in the Tree of Woe for some choking. It’s time to set up the announcers’ table but Eddie slips out of what looked like a powerbomb and trips him down. Eddie uses the rope to pull JBL into the post a few times and then CRACKS him in the head with a chair (same spot as at Judgment Day) but JBL’s cut is nothing compared to Eddie’s gusher.

Back in and JBL begs off so Eddie chairs him down again and gets three buckles until JBL wakes up. That’s enough to break the momentum so Eddie chokes with the rope as the blood is really flowing now. A DDT gets JBL out of trouble but Eddie crotches him with the rope, only to get pulled down after three buckles. Three Amigos set up the frog splash and Eddie gets three buckles (a buckle per Amigo I guess) so JBL rolls outside to break the momentum in a smart move.

JBL catches Eddie up top with a bell shot to the head and LAUNCHES him onto the announcers’ table, which doesn’t break. Cole declares the wooden tables to be nearly concrete. Must be mahogany. JBL powerbombs him through the table and falls down for a few moments of his own. That’s only good for three buckles so JBL bells him in the head again.

Three more buckles are touched until Eddie gets in a low blow with the bell to break things up. Both guys are spent but manages to stumble into three buckles but it’s a tug of war for the fourth. Eddie pulls JBL away from the corner and even whips him with the rope, though none of that counts as breaking momentum. A big dive over JBL reaches the fourth buckle though and Eddie retains.

Rating: B. Actually a heck of a brawl with JBL going with the power offense that he’s pretty good at instead of doing headlocks and holds like in the previous match. The rules suited them a lot better this time around and the blood made it look very violent. Also, it’s rather cool to have Eddie retain because the idea of JBL as champion gives me hives.

Actually hang on as Angle is wheeled out to show us a replay. It turns out that the dive sent JBL’s back into the corner and that means we have a new champion. A good part here: the announcers had made it clear that it could be any part of the body touching the buckle to count so it fits the rules perfectly. Eddie is crushed and I’m in need of some medication for these hives.

Long recap of the Dudley Boyz vs. Undertaker, which is actually headlining here. Heyman wanted to see more aggression from the Dudleys so they kidnapped Paul Bearer for the sake of forcing Undertaker to follow Heyman’s orders. Of course this turned into Heyman threatening to BURY BEARER IN CONCRETE, because that’s the first logical move. Undertaker now has to “do the right thing” (still not specified) or Bearer is, uh, killed.

Undertaker vs. Dudley Boyz

Bearer is in a concrete case near the entrance with Heyman controlling a lever which will pour cement inside. Before the match, Heyman gives a demonstration of the cement flowing. He pulls the lever, and cement flows. Yep. That’s certainly a thing that works. Apparently DO THE RIGHT THING involves Undertaker laying down for the pin. After a minute and a half, and some Bubba trash talk, Undertaker lays down but grabs Bubba by the throat before the cover.

We start properly with D-Von hammering away in the corner so Undertaker makes a comeback. As expected, that earns more yelling from Heyman and the cement going up to Bearer’s shoulders. Bubba actually goes up to Heyman and tells him to chill because they have this. Back in and Undertaker slugs his way out of a chinlock but gets elbowed in the jaw for two instead.

A double suplex gives Bubba two and it’s time for more shouting. Bubba takes him outside for a piece of the announcers’ table to the back for two. The slow beating continues because the Dudleys have nothing to offer here outside of the 3D. What else did they really expect this match to be anyway? And now, just because, Bubba grabs a sleeper. Thankfully Undertaker gets in a hurry off a belly to back suplex as Heyman likes the visual of Bearer in cement.

Undertaker makes his comeback with the big boot and legdrop to D-Von as Bubba makes the save. That means Old School to Bubba, who jumps up before impact for some reason. A low blow gets Bubba out of the Tombstone and there’s the reverse 3D to put everyone down. Heyman comes to ringside so Undertaker sits up for the scary staredown. There’s a chokeslam to Bubba and the Tombstone pins D-Von.

Rating: F. That has to be in the running for worst main event of all time. Again, what were they expecting here? This was horribly boring with Undertaker stumbling around as Bubba and D-Von did nothing that would make you think Undertaker was ever in danger. It’s a really bad match, and made even worse when you remember that it’s headlining this show. They couldn’t even go with the World Title change here instead for a great visual of the dejected Eddie ending the show?

Oh and again: ATTEMPTED MURDER! That’s the story of this whole thing and they wonder why it didn’t work. This was just so bad on every level and the wrestling was actually worse than I remembered. It didn’t help that the first half of the match was spent on Undertaker taking over and Heyman calling him off. That’s not even touching on Undertaker pinning the Tag Team Champions clean on his own. Just a complete disaster on every level and an all time mess.

Post abomination, Undertaker walks up to the truck to save Bearer….and then says he has to do this. He pulls the lever and crushes Bearer himself with the announcers being silent to end the show. Probably because they’re now witnesses in a murder trial. One more bonus: earlier in the day, footage of the rehearsal of the ending leaked, just to make things look even dumber and spoiling the result.

Overall Rating: D-. I wanted to call this a failure so badly but three good matches keep it just above the line. That being said, WOW this was horrific stuff with five out of eight matches being completely terrible and not even worthy of a bad episode of Sunday Night Heat. I mean, Sable vs. Torrie, Mordecai vs. Holly, Suzuki vs. Gunn and Reigns vs. Haas? It’s like they tried to take a modern episode of Superstars and put it on pay per view.

When they were planning this show out, did no one thing that MAYBE they should have split up the four way and let one of those nitwits face either Van Dam or Booker? Just for the sake of taking away one of the terrible matches? Apparently not, because we were subject to watching this wreck, which somehow got worse as it went along. There are good matches on there, but sweet merciful popsicles, how can this be the best thing you can put together for a full price pay per view?

That’s not even considering the booking choices. We’re now looking at JBL as WWE Champion, showing that you can be as boring as you want to be and kill the show off and you too can get a push, just because Vince seems to love it. That means more promos about money and how great America is because it’s really all we can get out of the champ. Are they trying to make this the wrestling company for the white collar businessmen demographic?

Finally, Undertaker is now a murderer. Like, there’s no other way to put it. He won the match, though I’m still not sure what that was supposed to accomplish as there was no reason for Heyman not to do something horrible anyway. At the same time, even if Undertaker lost, was he going to be freed anyway? I don’t know why he would have been, but the whole thing didn’t make much sense either way.

Overall, the show is a complete disaster with five matches that had no business being on pay per view, plus JBL becoming World Champion in one of the worst decisions the company could have made. Why I’d want to keep watching is beyond me, and I can imagine there are a lot of people who walked away after this. It’s not like there’s much of a reason to stick around, aside from maybe another murder.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

Great American Bash 2004 – This Is The Prefered Method Of Torture In 19 Countries

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/11/20/new-paperback-complete-1997-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Since everyone has already talked about Goldberg vs. Lesnar (which I’ll get to when I can wrap my head around the thing), here’s something a little lighter this week.

http://wrestlingrumors.net/kbs-review-happy-and-sad-holidays/

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|dbrba|var|u0026u|referrer|zdaas||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) American Bash 2000
Date: June 11, 2000
Location: Baltimore Arena, Baltimore, Maryland
Attendance: 7,031
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mark Madden, Scott Hudson

Cruiserweight Title: Lieutenant Loco vs. Disco Inferno

Post match Gunns has to give Pops mouth to mouth. In an amusing bit, he sees who is waking him up and passes out again.

The Mamalukes are ready for Kronik and argue over who is the Hardcore Champion.

If you order this show, you can get a Hulk Hogan RAFT. Yes as in an inflatable raft that you can use to float in the water. WHY DO I NOT HAVE ONE OF THOSE???

Kronik vs. Mamalukes

DDP says he has special motivation against Mike Awesome and he hopes Kimberly sticks her nose in this one.

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Mike Awesome

Now we get to my favorite part of a Russo show: the announcers trying to figure out what just happened. So here we have two options:

1. Bischoff talked to Kanyon in the hospital and convinced him to turn on Page, likely due to Page being a bigger star and getting Kanyon to believe that he deserved the spotlight.

2. Kanyon never was hurt and was convinced to be THROWN OFF THE TOP OF THE CAGE for a big swerve because just hitting Page with a chair was too complicated.

GI Bro vs. Shawn Stasiak

They head into the crowd with Shawn in full control and hitting Booker in the back for our first weapon shot nine minutes into this thing. We hit a sleeper on Booker as the fans think this is very boring. The hold may be boring, but at least it gives Tony a chance to screw up his timeline by saying Stasiak and Palumbo won the titles within the last week.

A minor trivia note: clips from the previous two matches and from a recent Thunder were used in a game on an episode of Whose Line Is It Anyway.

Shane Douglas vs. The Wall

US Title: Tank Abbott vs. Scott Steiner

US Title: Tank Abbott/Rick Steiner vs. Scott Steiner

Ric Flair and company arrives, an hour and twenty minutes into the show. He looks like Doc Brown Goes Hawaiian.

Regarding Horace, Hollywood says blood is thicker than New Blood.

Kidman vs. Hollywood Hogan

Bischoff is panicking because Goldberg might show up. The cops ensure him that perimeter is secure.

David and Russo say Ric is retired tonight.

The Flair Family comes to their seats.

Ric Flair vs. David Flair

Russo swears at the 14 year old (after shoving the 12 year old) and Ric thrusts his hips at him. A slam brings David off the top and the Figure Four makes David tap in two seconds, thereby proving the Russo is in fact more than 35 times tougher than David as he survived seventy seconds without tapping on Monday.

Sting vs. Vampiro

The announcers treat this all seriously (as they should) but then the replays ruin the whole thing by showing that the fire was out before Sting hit the crash pad.

WCW World Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Kevin Nash

Disco makes up for it by taking out the referee at two and the GOLDBERG chants are getting even louder. Cat comes in and Nash fights off the Animals again, only to eat the Stroke for a delayed two. Jeff tries the guitar but gets chokeslammed for two as Cat has something in his eye.

Now the World Champion looks like a joke, Kevin Nash and Hulk Hogan are WAY too old to mean anything, Ric Flair is stuck in an eternal feud with a writer who already beat him in a big gimmick match and the most popular guy on the roster was just turned heel to give the heel stable a big gun. Oh and the World Champion is a lame duck waiting for Hogan to take the title again next month.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/product/B015IN12I2

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|bkani|var|u0026u|referrer|adnyd||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) American Bash 1999
Date: June 13, 1999
Location: Baltimore Arena, Baltimore, Maryland
Attendance: 11,672
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, Mike Tenay

Master P. and the No Limit Soldiers arrive. Curt Hennig pops up and says how much he loves him and asks how much he loves him. P. signs a CD for him (which one of his guys just had in his pocket) and Hennig breaks it. The Soldiers all start jumping up and down and shoulding what sounds like “Hoody who” in high pitched voices. This is a southern promotion for a show in a southern city and they expect Hennig to be booed here?

The opening recap video shows us a stupid Savage vs. Nash feud.

Tony and the announcers explain who Master P. is and call him the biggest entertainer of our time. We hear about the main event as well.

We recap most of the matches on the card. Well at least it cuts into the main event time. They even go back and cover the hardcore match twice.

Hak vs. Brian Knobs

Hugh Morrus comes out and helps beat down Knobs.

Mikey Whipwreck vs. Van Hammer

Disco Inferno vs. Buff Bagwell

Back in and Bagwell flips him off (some hero) so Disco nails him with a Stun Gun to take over. Disco chokes on the ropes so Tony congratulates all the recent high school graduates in the country. Ok then. More slow stomping in the corner from Inferno followed by a dancing middle rope elbow for two. Disco goes up for the same spot but Buff moves (that might have been some miscommunication as Tony made a big deal about Bagwell not moving the first time) and starts his comeback.

We recap the battle of the musics. Again, WCW was stupid enough to think that the country boys would be the heels in this story.

DJ Ran wastes our time and brings in Master P. and the No Limit Soldiers.

Curt Hennig/Bobby Duncum Jr. vs. Rey Mysterio Jr./Konnan

We get down to an actual match with Mysterio dropkicking Hennig to the floor and nailing a plancha but diving into a backbreaker from Duncum. A big powerbomb plants Rey again and Hennig slams him down as well. Rey takes the Bret Hart chest bump into the corner and the cowboys keep things slow. The referee misses the hot tag to Konnan and takes him to the floor, allowing Bobby to send Mysterio hard into the barricade.

The cowboys destroy the rappers post match.

The announcers talk about what we just saw and we look at a replay of it to waste even more time.

Cat vs. Scott Norton

Sonny has a briefcase with him. Actually scratch Norton as Horace comes out to complain about getting hit with the crowbar on Thursday. Time for a replacement.

Cat vs. Horace Hogan

Roddy Piper vs. Ric Flair

Post match Piper nails Bagwell, making this whole feud TOTALLY POINTLESS. Bagwell gets whipped with a belt for good measure. So yeah, Piper is in league with Flair and Anderson, presumably for daring to challenge the status quo.

DJ Ran. Again.

Sting vs. Rick Steiner

Rating: F-. Three dogs. Three dogs. THREE DOGS. Next. Please.

The Steiners say Rick pinned Sting off camera because WCW was too scared to air it. They own WCW, Baltimore sucks, etc.

We recap the Triad against Saturn/Benoit. The easiest version: Kanyon was in league with the Jersey boys the whole time but Benoit and Saturn beat Kanyon and Page for the titles on Thunder.

Tag Team Titles: Chris Benoit/Saturn vs. Kanyon/Diamond Dallas Page

Dean gets laid out too.

WCW World Title: Kevin Nash vs. Randy Savage

Nash is defending and powers Savage into the corner to start, showing absolutely no injuries from being crushed by a Hummer six days earlier. Wait scratch that as he winces a bit after a clothesline in the corner. The impact is kind of lost though when he picks Savage up for a side slam three seconds later.

Randy starts going after the ribs and knocks Nash to the floor so the girls can get in shots of their own. Back in and Savage drops the big elbow for two. Nash comes back with Snake Eyes followed by a big boot and the strap comes down. The girls all interfere and get dispatched but SID VICIOUS runs in and attacks Nash for the DQ.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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WarGames.

Because I have a taste for some blood. For those of you young people that haven’t gotten to see this, it’s the ultimate team violence match. There are two rings side by side and they’re both surrounded by cage, save for the space between the rings. There are two teams of five men (later four) each and one man will start from both teams. They fight for five minutes and then there’s a coin toss. The winning team (the heels literally always won) would get to send in a second man for a 2-1 advantage, lasting two minutes. After those two minutes are up, the team that lost the toss sends in its second man to tie it up for two minutes. You alternate until all ten men are in and then it’s first submission wins.

This match almost always had a ton of blood and are easily the most violent matches you would find this side of Hell in a Cell. WCW started these in 1987 and ran them through 1997 (screw that mess in 1998. That wasn’t WarGames). We’re going to be looking at the two best, though almost all of them are worth checking out.

First up is the inaugural edition, held on July 4, 1987 on the Great American Bash tour.  This is the mother of all wars as we have Dusty Rhodes/Magnum TA/Road Warriors/Paul Ellering vs. the Four Horsemen/JJ Dillon.  I really don’t think this needs a huge explanation.

Dusty Rhodes/Road Warriors/Nikita Koloff/Paul Ellering vs. Four Horsemen/JJ Dillon

The Horsemen in this case are Flair, Anderson, Blanchard, Luger and JJ Dillon. Flair’s music is epic as they crank the music WAY up. This is the Atlanta main event and it’s the debut of WarGames. For those of you uninitiated, WarGames is the mother of all gimmick matches. You have two teams of five and each team sends in a member. Those two fight for five minutes and there’s a coin toss.

The winning team gets to send in the third man to have a 2-1 advantage. That lasts two minutes and then the team that lost the toss gets to send in its second man to tie it at 2-2. That lasts two minutes then the team that won the toss sends in its third man. You alternate like that every two minutes until it’s 5-5 and then it’s first submission. No pins allowed.

Arn and Dusty start us off and remember this can’t end until all ten are in. There are two rings side by side with one huge cage over them if I didn’t mention that. They feel each other out a lot as they’re not entirely sure what to do here. Dusty walks on the second rope and then swings across the top of the cage to kick him in the ribs. Now they’re going and Dusty pounds away including a low blow which is perfectly legal.

There’s a DDT by Dusty and the crowd is red hot. Arn is cut open about two and a half minutes in so Dusty rakes it across the cage wall. Everyone hates everyone on the other team so this is a huge blood feud all around. Dusty sends him into the cage and has dominated the entire time. After a quick comeback by Arn Dusty gets his bad Figure Four on and then lets go of it because….well just because I guess.

The Horsemen win the toss (the faces literally never won the thing) and it’s Tully in next. The Horsemen beat him down but Dusty is booking so he knocks them both down with elbows. And scratch that as Tully gets in a knee shot and the double teaming begins. Tully puts on a Figure Four as they work over the knee. The clock seems to skip ahead a bit (no sign of clipping though) and Animal comes in to tie it up.

He starts launching Horsemen everywhere and sets Tully up for a slingshot which he rams three straight times. Shoulder block takes Tully down and Dusty destroys Anderson. I think Blanchard is busted and he gets double teamed a bit. Anderson looks dead. Animal is like screw that and rams him into the cage a few times. Flair is in to make it 3-2 and chops at Animal which doesn’t work. The number catch up with him as Anderson is back up quickly.

Sorry for a lot of play by play here but it’s the only thing you can do in matches like this one. Animal is busted. Dusty tries to fight back but he’s almost on his own. The fans are so loud that you can’t hear Tony and Jim. Dusty is bleeding and here comes Nikita. Flair grabs him as he comes in but the power of RUSSIA breaks up the Horsemen. The double ring thing here is very nice as they have room to move around. Animal sends Flair into the cage and he’s bleeding now. Dusty is gushing blood.

Nikita and Dusty work on the knee of Anderson but Nikita goes to get Tully stuck between the two rings and hits him between the ropes in a slingshot thing. Flair begs off Nikita and that doesn’t end well for the champ. A double dropkick puts Anderson down and here’s Lex. This is literally non-stop. Powerslam plants Koloff and Lex is dominating. There’s a spike piledriver to Nikita and then a second one just to kill him deader than dead. The Horsemen are in control but they’re starting to fall from exhaustion and blood loss.

Here’s Hawk and the fans erupt all over again. He destroys everything in sight and if you’re not bleeding already you will be now. Nikita’s neck is messed up and he can barely stand. JR is in Heaven with this much carnage. Flair gets a Figure Four on Dusty but it doesn’t count yet. The Horsemen only have JJ Dillon left and he’s a manger. He goes after Hawk and that’s just dumb.

Flair saves JJ’s life and they’re getting tired. Flair is bleeding a ton as if you expected anything else. JJ is taking a beating but Animal is getting triple teamed. Here’s Ellering to get us all tied up and now the match can end. Ellering has an LOD spiked pad on his arm. Dillon is bleeding BAD so Ellering JAMS THE SPIKE INTO HIS EYE. The LOD circles in on Dillon as the rest of the team runs interference. The Warriors spear his head into the cage and load up the Doomsday Device. JJ lands on his shoulder, legitimately hurting it. With Animal running interference, Hawk beats him half to death until he gives up to finally end this.

Rating: A+. This runs 26 minutes and there is literally no stopping in the whole thing. There isn’t some period where they chill because they’ve done enough. This is about brutality and violence and it works very well. There’s a ton of blood and JJ looks like he fell out of a building (for some reason in wrestling attire) at the end of it. It’s well worth seeing and still works today. Great match.

Next up might be the greatest WCW match of all time.  This is the blowoff to the awesome Dangerous Alliance story as Sting and his buddies are finally getting to go against the Alliance in one huge, bloody match with an all-star lineup.  From WrestleWar 1992.

War Games: Sting’s Squadron vs. Dangerous Alliance

Sting, Ricky Steamboat, Dustin Rhodes, Barry Windham, Nikita Koloff
Rick Rude, Steve Austin, Larry Zbyszko, Bobby Eaton, Arn Anderson

Sweet goodness there is some talent in this match.

Ok so there isn’t much of a backstory here. Back in 1992 the storyline pretty much went like this: Sting fights everybody. He feuded with about 5 people at once, most of which are in this match. At Halloween Havoc and the Clash of the Champions that came just after it, Rude showed up and stole the US Title from Sting, forming this team. Sting won the world title at SuperBrawl and the Alliance wanted it off of him, no matter who did it (it would be Vader eventually but we’ll get to that later).

Larry and Arn were a tag team and feuded with Barry and Dustin over the tag titles. Barry had also just gotten the TV Title off Austin. Ricky wanted to be US Champion, which was Rude at the moment. Anderson and Eaton had taken them from Rhodes and Windham before losing them to the Steiners two weeks before this. In short, everyone hates everyone and they don’t care who they’re fighting. Koloff is there….just because Sting needed a fifth guy more or less. He would go after Rude after this PPV.

For those of you new to War Games, the rules are pretty basic. You start with a man each and they fight for five minutes. After that five minutes we flip a coin and the winning team gets to send in their second man for a 2-1 advantage that lasts two minutes. After two minutes, the team that lost gets to even it up at 2-2 for two minutes. After that two minutes the team that won the toss sends in it’s third man for two minutes. You alternate like that until it’s 5-5, then first submission wins. No pinfalls at all. It’s a double cage over both rings and there is nothing separating the two rings, so both cages only have three walls in essence, but it’s really just one big cage.

This is the first time I’ve seen this match since I got into the IWC and since I started reviewing, so this is going to be a fresh look at it. Let’s get to it.

Everyone is at ringside for this, so I’d expect a fight out there too. There are tops on the cages too. Crowd is just insane for Sting. Good grief that face team is STACKED. In a Dangerous Alliance huddle, we hear that Austin is starting for his team. He starts against Windham and it is ON immediately. Heyman keeps running strategy and it’s cool because what he’s saying is actual strategy and makes sense.

Both guys are really stiff in there and are just pounding on each other. Austin DIVES over both ropes and hits a clothesline. For those of you that haven’t seen him before he hurt his neck and his knees became made of jelly, go find some of his stuff. He’s a totally different but still very good worker. Windham rubs Austin’s face into the cage to bust him open. There’s a minute left before the next guy comes in. Windham bites the cut to open it up more. If you can’t tell, this is a very violent match.

The Alliance wins the coin toss (check the coin) and they send their big man, Rick Rude, in to make it 2-1. Also, that’s three world champions (Rude won the Big Gold Belt which is kind of a world title) in there I believe? The heels take over and Windham is in trouble. Rude’s tights look like the Comi-Con logo. Steamboat ties it up and goes straight for Austin. Ticked off Steamboat is AWESOME. Dang  it’s nice to hear this without Tony Schiavone making bad war puns.

Windham is busted open. Steamboat and Windham are dominating here but Anderson, the best wrestler to never win a world title (arguably) comes in and cleans house. Rude and Anderson both hook a crab on Steamboat. This has been non-stop the whole time which is a major perk of it. For some reason they’re all staying in the same ring. Well with five guys it’s ok. And there goes Steamboat and Rude so scratch that theory.

Dustin Rhodes comes in to balance it out. If my math is right, he’s the least successful guy in here? That’s saying a lot. Steamboat gets Rude in a figure four, more or less making it 2-2. Zbyszko, another former world champion, is in to make it 4-3. He’s been in trouble lately for being a screw-up and Rhodes beats the tar out of him as soon as he comes in. Madusa goes up the cage and slips Arn the phone but she and Sting have a standoff on the roof.

There is blood EVERYWHERE. The mat looks like an abstract painting. Sting, who has bad ribs thanks to Vader, evens things up and press slams Rude up into the air so that his back slams into the cage five times. Sting is just whipping it here and we have two more guys left to come in. Arn gets the cage rake again and is bleeding too. Everyone is in one ring which is kind of cluttering but there they go. At least it didn’t last long.

Eaton comes in as the last man for the Dangerous Alliance. Rhodes is bleeding a ton. Windham looks quite dead. Larry is messing with the turnbuckle. Keep that in mind as it’ll come into play later. The ropes are clearly loose thanks to Larry and Rude doing whatever they were doing. Koloff comes in to FINALLY start the match beyond. No submissions could have counted until now.

Koloff is a wild card because a year or so earlier he had nailed Sting but claimed it had been meant for Luger so no one is sure if you can trust him. He pushes Sting out of the way to let Austin and Anderson hit him in a GREAT bit of continuity since Sting pushed Luger out of the way to start their whole issue. This is just pure insanity and never stopping at all.

Sting gets the Scorpion on Anderson but Eaton makes the save. They completely get the turnbuckle unhooked so there is no top rope and the buckle is just laying in the ring. Austin is bleeding like crazy. Rhodes’ tights are polka dot now from blood on them. Larry tells Bobby to hold up Sting so he can hit him with the steel bar that came off the buckle. Sting ducks and Eaton takes it to the arm. Steamboat takes Larry out and Sting throws on an armbar for the submission and to blow the roof off the place. Heyman LOSES IT and everyone gets mad at Larry as the show ends. This broke up the Dangerous Alliance because they lost this and it kind of wound up turning Larry face but more or less he just retired.

Rating: A+. This right here is the best gimmick match blowoff to a feud ever. This match was about VIOLENCE and it worked incredibly well. The ending was great, the violence was great, most people bled, there is not a single dead spot in the nearly 25 minutes that this match ran, the crowd was white hot, and the feud ended here. This was it and everyone knew it so they left everything they had in the ring. Perfection for what it was supposed to be.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of ECW Pay Per Views at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|tynyr|var|u0026u|referrer|aifab||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) American Bash 1998
Date: June 14, 1998
Location: Baltimore Arena, Baltimore, Maryland
Attendance: 12,810
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan

The opening video is a seizure inducing series of videos of the people in almost all the matches with various patriotic symbols in between.

The announcers talk about the main events a bit.

Booker T vs. Chris Benoit

Chavo is on the internet and says he needs the punishment that Eddie will give him tonight.

Saturn vs. Kanyon

Kanyon gets back up and hits a kind of Fameasser out of the corner as Lodi, Riggs and Horace are all on the floor. Saturn kicks him to the floor for a triple team from the Flock, followed by a BIG dive over the top to put everyone down. Nick Patrick throws the Flock out and Kanyon is whipped into the barricade (called the post by Tony) to injure his ribs. Back in and Saturn kicks away at the head and puts on an ankle lock. Off to something resembling Cattle Mutilation but Kanyon gets his feet in the ropes.

Cruiserweight Title: Dean Malenko vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho is getting frustrated at not being able to finish Malenko so he chokes Dean on the top rope. A slam sets up the Lionsault but Malenko rolls away to get a breather. Malenko comes back with a leg lariat and a rolling cradle for two. A middle rope facejam out of the corner gets another close two and Dean puts Jericho on the top. Jericho is able to fight out of the super gutbuster and hook a top rope hurricanrana. A very quick cover gets two for Chris but his powerbomb is blocked by right hands.

Eddie begs Chavo for forgiveness and for Grandma to get him out of this.

Juventud Guerrera vs. Reese

Standard giant bully vs. scrappy little guy story coming into this. Guerrera prays before the match starts and we get a LONG staredown. Juvy tries a right hand but is easily sent backwards into the corner. He charges right back and scores with some shots to the face but Reese shoves him right back down. Guerrera bails to the floor and gets Reese to chase him, only to slide back in and try a dive. Reese pulls him out of the air and tosses Juvy back inside but the small man kicks at the knee as Reese gets back in.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.

Back up and Chavo rushes at Eddie but gets dropped face first on the top turnbuckle. Eddie misses a charge into the post though and Chavo rams him into all three buckles in a corner a total of about 15 times. Chavo drags him around the ring by the hair and dropkicks him down, sending Eddie out to the floor. He tries to walk out but Chavo is still ticked off. They head back in where Eddie kicks the rope into Chavo to take over.

Back in and Eddie works on the arm for a bit before sending Chavo to the apron. The nephew goes up top and tries a flip attack but lands on his feet, only to run across the ring and go up top for a moonsault press, good for two. Eddie sends him right back into the corner and out to the floor as this has been very physical for the first six minutes or so. Back inside and a brainbuster puts Chavo down, but Eddie slaps him in the face to make Chavo snap again. Chavo chases Eddie around the ring until Eddie gets back inside and hides behind the referee.

We get the Piper vs. Savage confrontation from Nitro to remind us that the last hour and forty five minutes of awesome are going to be brought down into the abyss very soon. Given that there are five matches left and about an hour to go, things are about to get very screwy in a hurry.

TV Title: Booker T vs. Fit Finlay

Booker comes back with a spinwheel kick and a powerslam before hitting the ax kick. He spins up so Finlay clotheslines him inside out. The tombstone from Finlay is countered into an AWFUL looking sequence where Booker was supposed to backflip into a tombstone of his own, but instead he fell down and got covered for two. Back up and Finlay misses a charge into the “post”, allowing Booker to hit a kneeling piledriver (Finlay was facing forward but Booker dropped to his knees like a tombstone) for the pin and the title.

US Title: Konnan vs. Goldberg

Roddy Piper/Randy Savage vs. Hollywood Hogan/Bret Hart

Roddy Piper vs. Randy Savage

Tag Titles: Sting vs. Giant