Mummies, Demons & The Occult
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Bruno Sammartino, Bill Mercer, Ed Whalen, Jim Ross, Bill Watts, Boyd Pierce, Joey Styles, Tazz

Well that’s not exactly a title I was expecting to put up but it’s Halloween season and the WWE Vault is a thing. This is one of their short form themed collections and that means we could be for just about anything. You can probably guess some of these things, but the mystery or what’s included is the fun part. Let’s get to it.

We open with a video of a monster named Leviathan (with vampire fangs) walking through a cemetery and wrecking various people in OVW. He would be better known as Batista.

We go to (I’m assuming) Mid-South Wrestling with Mad Dog Buzz Sawyer messing with his own dog and writhing around in a creek with a chain around his neck. He warns the Junkyard Dog that there can be only one big dog around here.

From WWF Championship Wrestling, August 3, 1985.

Missing Link vs. Jim Londos

Bobby Heenan is here with Link and the fans are right there with the WEASEL chants. Londos’ dropkicks don’t do much good and he’s cut off with a headbutt. Link bearhugs him into the corner, where the turnbuckle breaks. We’re clipped to Link slamming the steps onto his own head as Heenan yells at him. Heenan has to stop him from ramming his head into the post as well. From what I can find, the match only ran about 1:33 and we saw 45 seconds or so. Quite the interesting choice for a cut there.

We go to a baseball stadium (this feels like Puerto Rico) and a man dressed as Leatherface from Texas Chainsaw Massacre has a chainsaw. We’re clipped to Leatherface brawling with a rather tall man and hitting something like a Randy Orton hanging DDT for the pin. This was less than a minute long.

Now we’re in a basketball arena (still looks like Puerto Rico) with Leatherface waving his chainsaw around while a masked man is in the ring. And we move on.

Gordon Solie (we’re in Florida) introduces us to a video from Kevin Sullivan as he and his Army Of Darkness stand on the beach (ah it’s this one). A shadowy man comes out of the water and comes up to Sullivan and company, with Sullivan saying that the Purple Haze is here to deal with Blackjack Mulligan and the Family. They scream a lot to wrap it up. Jim Cornette copied this pretty much step by step to introduce Leviathan to OVW.

Presumably still in Florida, Sullivan talks about people trying to come take him out but they have all been proven wrong. There is one thing left for him to find in Florida and now it is time for his team to take out Blackjack Mulligan and Superstar (I’m guessing Billy Graham). He has a special man coming to help him win the World Title.

Now we’re at ringside, with Sullivan talking about how his team has never gotten a World Title shot. He believes in his own convictions and the Chairman Of The Board (seemingly referencing Curtis Iaukea, who is here with the team) has warned him of the spiritual warfare in this world. Now he needs to control the World Title and that involves the next World Champion, Lex Luger. The interviewer doesn’t agree and Iaukea promises that these men will destroy everyone. He seemingly tries to hypnotize interviewer Buddy Colt, who wants nothing to do with this. Either way, they’re coming for Luger.

A woman is sitting on a dock with her back to us when Kevin Sullivan comes out of the water. He talks about a long swim from the river of the forgotten and he remembers that certain things can’t go together. The woman quietly chants as Sullivan talks about the fans chanting his name and thinking of…someone. Starrcade is coming and whomever he’s talking about is the one who sent him to the river of the forgotten.

It’s off to World Class, where Gary Hart introduces to the Great Kabuki. A lot of people will talk about how they’re going to hurt Kabuki but no one can beat him. Kabuki can destroy anyone and he’s here to do what Hart orders.

From sometime in World Class.

Kevin Von Erich vs. Great Kabuki

Von Erich starts fast and brawls Kabuki to the mat and they’re already on the floor. We’re clipped to Von Erich charging into a kick in the corner. Kabuki grabs a double armpit claw (apparently a thing) and Von Erich goes down. We’re clipped again to the brawl on the floor as Fritz Von Erich and Gary Hart almost get in a fight. They get back inside but here is King Kong Bunch to stomp on Fritz. The match is thrown out at 3:37 shown. I won’t be rating it due to all of the clipping, but it was the usual wildness from Dallas.

From Stampede Wrestling, we meet Zodiak (played by Barry O, as in Randy Orton’s uncle) and Jason The Terrible (a masked man who stands behind him and makes noises), with Zodiak talking about the planets and stars aligning to destroy all of the good guys.

From Stampede Wrestling, possibly on November 6, 1987.

Jason The Terrible vs. Hiroshi Hase

We’re joined in progress again with Jason hitting jumping knees to the face as commentary says he’s never seen Jason without his mask. Well then how do you know you’ve never seen him? We’re clipped to Hase grabbing a Sharpshooter but Zodiak throws powder and comes in for the DQ at 39 seconds shown.

Post match the big beatdown is on and Hase is left laying.

From ICW (the outlaw promotion in Kentucky), a voice says Radamaius is coming to take out all of the good guys around here.

It’s off to Mid-South and we see a video on Lord Humongous, who walks around a garage where a bunch of welding is taking place. We also get some clips of him squashing various people. This is definitely not Sid, but likely Jeff Van Camp, who wasn’t around long and never did anything but play Humongous. This goes on for a few minutes.

From Mid-South, likely in 1985.

Dick Murdoch vs. Lord Humongous

Murdoch gets sent down to start and hurts his elbow by elbowing Humongous’ mask. They go outside with Murdoch’s eye being busted open. Humongous sends him into the barricade and then back inside, where a cobra clutch finishes Murdoch at about 1:30 shown. Total decimation.

From Memphis, we meet Kamala (without a lot of the face paint) in a video narrated like a nature documentary (and shot in Jerry Jarrett’s backyard).

From Mid-South, possibly October 2, 1982.

Kamala vs. Tim Horner

Kamala chops him down to start and sends Horner flying with a choke toss. The splash finishes Horner at 45 seconds.

From some other time in Mid-South, Kamala breaks a 2×4 over Andre The Giant’s back and slams him without much trouble.

In Smoky Mountain Wrestling Prince Kharis (the wrestling mummy (it was the financial backer’s idea)) squashes Tim Horner. After the match, the Dirty White Boy comes in with a chair and Kharis shrugs it off.

Later, Darryl Van Horne (the future Sinister Minister/James Vanderberg) cuts off Kharis’ finger to show that the White Boy can’t hurt him.

And finally, from the debut of ECW On Sci-Fi, June 13, 2006.

Sandman vs. The Zombie

Zombie grunts a lot, Sandman canes him down and hits the White Russian Legsweep to win at 16 seconds. I knew this was going to be on here and I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.

Overall Rating: C. See, this is what makes the Vault fun. Rather than doing the absolute run of the mill stuff like Undertaker, Kane, the Yeti and goofs like Mantaur, they actually looked into the depths and came up with some really cool stuff. The action wasn’t the point here, but rather a bunch of wacky things that only make sense in wrestling. It was short, to the point, and rather entertaining without overstaying its welcome. In other words, it was perfect for Halloween, save for maybe a bit too much Kevin Sullivan.

 

 

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WCCW TV
Date: May 13, 1986
Location: Sportatorium, Dallas, Texas
Commentator: Bill Mercer

We’re back at the regular show this time and that means it’s time for more of the Von Erichs dominating the Texas world. I’m never quite sure what to expect from these shows other than a white hot crowd, though the wrestling is often a mixed bag. Hopefully going back in time a year should help the overall feel though, which really didn’t work last time. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Bill Mercer runs down the card.

Jerry Allen vs. Steve Simpson

Simpson, billed from Africa, looks like Matt Riddle crossed with Kerry Von Erich. In keeping with this series, we hear about the third annual Memorial Parade of Champions because I can’t avoid those shows. Allen works on the hammerlock to start but Simpson slips out of it to give us a standoff. Mercer completely ignores the match to talk about the Parade of Champions matches, including the Freebirds vs. the Von Erichs (including LANCE). They go the mat for some fast reversals until Allen makes the rope.

Back up and Simpson sends him flying with a hiptoss, followed by an atomic drop to put Allen outside. That doesn’t last long and it’s a delayed vertical suplex as Mercer’s Parade commercial continues. Allen grabs the abdominal stretch for some cranking, followed by a good clothesline. The chinlock goes on and triggers the comeback, including a high crossbody to finish Allen at 7:12.

Rating: D+. This solely existed for the purpose of letting Mercer talk about the Parade of Champions, which got really annoying in a hurry. The match wasn’t very good, though it worked well for an opener. Simpson had a good look and would be easy to cheer, which Allen seemed like a fine lower card heel.

Rick Rude vs. Brian Adias

Neither Rude’s World Title or Adias’ Texas Title are on the line and Percy Pringle (Paul Bearer) is in Rude’s corner. Feeling out process to start with Rude trying a slam but getting reversed into a quick O’Connor Roll for two. After some yelling from Pringle, Rude gets in a suplex to shake Adias up a bit. The fans get behind Brian though and Rude is shaken up again as the action slows down again.

Rude takes him down into an armbar, followed by the stomping to keep Adias down. Adias’ shoulder is sent into the bottom buckle and it’s off to the chinlock. Back up and Adias gets in an elbow for no count so Rude throws him outside. Adias gets back in and tries a flying headscissors but gets sent throat first onto the top rope. A hard clothesline finishes Adias at 6:59.

Rating: D. This wasn’t very good as Rude still looked pretty green and not worthy of being World Champion. That being said, he wasn’t exactly supposed to be World Champion as the company pulled out of the NWA and turned its top title into the World Title while Rude was holding it, so it’s not as illogical as it seems. Still though, this was pretty rough as there’s no story to the match with little more than one move happening after another.

We look at the history between Sunshine and Missy Hyatt, the two blondes who had some awesome catfights. It’s stuff like Missy cheating Sunshine’s wrestler out of a win so Sunshine sprays her (and her white dress) with ketchup. Missy of course came back by hitting her with a pie. This was never meant to be about wrestling and they made no secret about it, which made the feud that much better. Yeah it’s trash, but it’s fun trash.

Steve Regal vs. Kerry Von Erich

As I always have to say, no not that Regal. You can hear the girls freak out when Kerry’s jacket comes off and even the announcer has to acknowledge it. Regal drives him up against the ropes to start and gets sent outside for his efforts. Back in and Kerry forearms him into a headlock takeover as they’re not exactly going at full speed so far. Another shot to the face sends Regal bailing to the floor, followed by a hard whip into the corner back inside.

Kerry runs into a boot though and Regal hits a middle rope elbow to the head. The required chinlock goes on but Kerry easily fights out and grabs the stomach claw (exactly what it sounds like). Kerry even lifts him up and then takes him back down with the claw still on, which is actually enough for the pin at 5:32.

Rating: D+. Just a step above a squash here and that’s perfectly fine as Kerry was over like free beer in a frat house. Seeing the popularity that the Von Erichs had is really hard sometimes as they were the most insanely popular guys in the world and then the whole thing got screwed up. There was a world’s worth of potential there and it never came to full power because of a bunch of dumb decisions. It’s so sad and there’s a reason they’re one of the biggest cautionary tales in all of wrestling history.

Bruiser Brody/Missing Link vs. Terry Gordy/Great Kabuki

Hayes is in Kabuki/Gordy’s corner and Sunshine is in the other. I’m not sure if this is joined in progress or not but the brawl is on as soon as we come back with Bruiser and Gordy fighting to the back, leaving Link and Kabuki to fight in the ring. We do get an opening bell and the eternally serious Marc Lowrence gives us all the information, even as the brawling continues.

Link fights out of a nerve hold and stomps on Kabuki’s foot for the break. After another nerve hold is broken, Link headbutts him in the corner, which Mercer thinks he learned from a brontosaurus. We slow down a lot as Link yells at Hayes and knocks Kabuki out of the air. Kabuki rakes the eyes and we’re told that Gordy and Brody will NOT be returning to the ring. How nice of them to be on camera for thirty seconds like that. We hit the nerve hold again but Kabuki misses a charge into the corner. That’s enough for him as he brings in the nunchucks and knocks Link silly for the DQ at 6:42.

Rating: D+. This could have been a lot better, but given that it was pretty much just a singles match after a quick opening, there was only so much that could get out of this. Link was certainly unique though and that energy carried a lot of the match. Brody vs. Gordy would have helped a lot, but if you want to see that, go to the Parade of Champions.

Post match Kabuki chokes Link down some more so Sunshine throws in a chair.

A quick preview of next week ends the show.

Overall Rating: D. For a quick TV show, this wasn’t very good. As an ad for the Parade of Champions, it was rather annoying. It felt like almost everything was about the big show with the announcer ignoring large portions of the matches for the sake of talking about the show. That gets annoying in a hurry as they already have me watching this show. Stop trying to make me watch another one.

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WCCW Television
Date: May 8, 1982
Location: Sportatorium, Dallas, Texas
Commentator: Marc Lowrance

A TON of these have been added to the Network and in my never ending quest to review as much wrestling as I can, it’s worth a try. I’ve done a handful of these before and have a decent working knowledge of the promotion so this won’t be the most confusing thing in the world. While I’m not sure on the specifics, I’ll go on a limb and say it’s something about the Von Erichs. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Lowrance welcomes us to the show and runs down the card. Simple idea and nothing you see too often anymore.

Frank Dusek is ready to take Wild Bill Irwin’s soul and the Texas Title.

Frank Dusek vs. The Spoiler

The much bigger (and much more masked) Spoiler shoves Dusek into the corner but doesn’t give a clean break. Dude could you let us know when you’re going to do that? We hit a Boston crab on Dusek but a rollup sends them both into the ropes for the break. Dusek’s headlock works as well as a headlock is going to work so Dusek, who seems to be more of a tweener, pokes Spoiler in the eye for a breather.

A hard whip into the corner drops Dusek again though and it’s time for some heavy forearms to the chest. Not that it matters as Dusek grabs a rollup with his feet on the ropes for three, only to have it called off because Spoiler’s feet were in the ropes too. The distracted Dusek gets rolled up for the pin a few seconds later.

Rating: D. I think this was either heel vs. heel or heel vs. tweener but it only kind of worked. Spoiler was a fine big masked man and Dusek seemed to be more of a midcarder, though the match wasn’t much to see. The ending definitely made Dusek out to be a heel, but the match was kind of a mess, which makes me think that this isn’t a show for people just jumping on.

Boogaloo Shaft/Ken Mantel vs. King Kong Bundy/Bugsy McGraw

There are two referees here for some reason. Bundy (with hair and billed from Alaska) and McGraw’s Tag Team Titles aren’t on the line. Unfortunately we get a mention of something Bundy did earlier in the evening, making me think that this is either out of order or not the complete show, which is always annoying. McGraw and Boogaloo (best name ever) start things off before it’s off to Bundy to hit Shaft in the head.

The much smaller Mantel comes in so Bundy invites him to hammer away. A wristlock doesn’t get Mantel anywhere as the announcer keeps going on about how we’ll get to see Fritz Von Erich’s first ever filmed match next week. Mantel slips between the legs and brings Shaft back in for a headbutt (see, he’s black and therefore has a hard head) to stagger Bundy. The heel manager distracts one of the referees to Bundy and McGraw can crush Shaft with standing splashes (in front of the other referee) for the pin.

Rating: D+. I want to be reincarnated as a guy named Boogaloo Shaft (which is definitely a name Watts came up with after seeing the marquee at a movie theater somewhere). This was just over a squash, though again the ending didn’t make a ton of sense. If there are two referees, what’s the point in distracting one of them? It didn’t feel like one of them was crooked but that’s the only way that ending makes sense.

Gary Hart (top heel manager) says he’s bringing in someone called the Dragon, who is a great martial artist and very similar to Great Kabuki. The Dragon has an amazing sleeper and everyone will know of true torture. All that matters to Hart is getting rid of Fritz and only Asians are cold blooded enough to do it. The Dragon would be Kazuharu Sonoda, who was never a major star.

Al Madrill vs. Armand Hussein

Again they talk about something Bundy did, but this time they say we’ll be seeing him later. Geez this show really is all over the place. Hang on a second though as Hussein has to do his ritual, whatever that is. It is but a ruse though as Hussein jumps Al and sends him into the buckle a few times to take over. We hit the required choking as the fans are trying as hard as they can to get behind Madrill.

Armand pulls at the face until the referee actually drags him away from the ropes. That’s enough to start the comeback with Madrill firing off some punches to the head. They fight outside with Hussein choking with the rope before avoiding a charge back inside. Hussein misses a running flip splash though and its a jackknife rollup to give Madrill the pin.

Rating: D+. Not a terrible brawl here as Hussein was looking like a decent heel, only to have him screw up and lose at the end in a big of a surprise. Madrill seemed to be rather popular with the fans and he’s a name I’ve heard of before, albeit not very much. Then again when you’re a face in this promotion and not a Von Erich, it’s not going to matter for the most part.

Richard Blood/Mike Bond vs. Bill Irwin

Irwin is Texas Heavyweight Champion and he has to pin both opponents within ten minutes. Also that’s not Ricky Steamboat, though the name did make my head spin for a second. Blood works on a headlock to start and it’s off to Bond for one of his own. Irwin shrugs them both off without too much effort with a gutwrench suplex getting two on Blood. Bond runs him over with a shoulder as the jobbers are getting in way more offense than you would expect. As I say that, Irwin ends Bond with a clothesline for the first fall. A powerslam plants Blood and a running knee drop puts him away.

Rating: D. This was a little more entertaining than you would expect with Irwin selling way more than I would have guessed. That being said, you’re only going to get so much out of a guy destroying a pair of jobbers in a little over three minutes. If nothing else though, the Blood name gave me a chuckle.

Kevin Von Erich vs. Great Kabuki

Kabuki has been attacking Kerry and David is here for revenge. The fans want Fritz, who is in Kevin’s corner. The brawl is on in a hurry as they fight to the apron with the referee barely able to break it up. Back in and Kevin grabs a wristlock, which is how you deal with someone trying to injure your brother. Kabuki superkicks the heck out of him and we hit a chest claw. Kevin fights up but gets kicked in the head for his efforts, triggering an argument between Gary Hart and the referee.

Now it’s off to a double chest claw, which is totally hardcore. Kevin fights up again but can’t get the Iron Claw. Instead it’s off to a stomach claw, because these people don’t have the most varied offenses. A splash hits Kabuki’s raised boot and he starts ripping at the eyebrows. That’s certainly a new one.

Back up and Kevin starts his comeback with a dropkick to send them both outside. Fritz and Gary get into a fight as Kabuki works over Kevin inside. Fritz is choking Gary by his tie and holding him in his chair but here’s Bundy to stomp Fritz down. Kevin goes out to brawl with Bundy and it’s a double DQ.

Rating: D+. This was designed to set up Bundy vs. Fritz for Fritz’s retirement match where Fritz was just nice enough to give himself the title one more time. As for the match itself, the brawling and action were good but the claws were only going to take them so far. Then again, the fans were going to erupt over ANYTHING the Von Erichs did, especially against Hart and his men. It’s a simple formula but it certainly worked for a long time.

The Von Erichs want to keep fighting. I’m assuming this is the Bundy thing referenced earlier, which means this was taped out of order. That’s quite odd but it’s nice to know that you got everything they were talking about and that nothing is missing from the show.

Lowrance wraps things up to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. The first thing that becomes very clear around here is that you have to be a long time fan. They’re not going to walk you through these stories or explain what’s really going on. What they will do though is give you some of the best production you could ever imagine. Compare this to 1982 WWF and you won’t believe it’s from the same time. This looks like a low level show from 1990 or so, which is such a completely different time in wrestling.

The wrestling was what you would expect from 1982: mainly kicking and punching with a big move thrown in at the end, but again this was all about the backstory and long term stories. You don’t see a single recap of what’s been happening and, aside from the occasional reference by Lowrance, you really won’t know why these people are fighting or who they are for the most part. It really does make you appreciate the WWE style of today where a single package will tell you everything you need to know in a few minutes.

I’d check more of this stuff out later on, but it’s really a show built around the idea of watching the long term stuff, which takes its sweet time. The key things here though are the crowds being white hot and a fast pace of action. It’s easy to see why this promotion has the reputation it does and it’s WAY ahead of its time. Check it out if you want to see why this was the hottest promotion in the world for a very long time, though that wouldn’t take off until the end of this year.

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