Summerslam 2008
Date: August 17, 2008
Location: Conseco Fieldhouse, Indianapolis, Indiana
Attendance: 15,997
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz, Todd Grisham, Matt Striker

We run down the card because you might have ordered the show blind or something?

MVP vs. Jeff Hardy

MVP makes the ropes and the referee has to keep pulling Jeff out of the corner. Jeff eventually gets free and charges right into a snap belly to belly for two. MVP kicks him in the back and puts on something like a crucifix hold before rolling over into a camel clutch. Off to something like a side leg bar but MVP eventually lets it go. Jeff goes tot he apron but MVP knocks him out of the air to break up a springboard, getting two.

ECW Title: Mark Henry vs. Matt Hardy

Jeff Hardy comes out to make the save and the Hardys suplex Henry.

Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Punk was basically a glorified midcarder at this point but his time would come. JBL shoves Punk into the corner to start and a hard shoulder puts the champion down. Punk comes back with a flying forearm to send him to the outside and a suicide dive fires the fans up even more. Back in and a high cross body gets a one count for Punk but another shoulder block puts him down. Punk tries to go up, only to be taken down by a middle rope fall away slam for two.

Smackdown World Title: HHH vs. Great Khali

Rating: C+. This match, while slow, was a great example of psychology in a wrestling match. HHH knew that there was only one move he could use to hurt Khali and give him a chance for the win so it was the only thing he tried for most of the match. This was HHH working around someone and it worked quite well as HHH is a very talented wrestler, which unfortunately is often forgotten.

John Cena vs. Batista

Back up immediately and Cena throws Batista to the floor in something resembling an FU before collapsing down. Back in again and Cena fires off the shoulder blocks and the ProtoBomb to set up the Shuffle. The FU is countered again and Batista kicks him in the face to put both guys down. Batista drives shoulders into the corner and catches him in the spinebuster to put Cena down. Cena backdrops out of the Batista Bomb and hits a DDT on the leg to set up the STFU. Batista FINALLY crawls over and gets a rope to shock Cena.

The Cell is lowered.

Edge vs. Undertaker

Taker counters the spear into a chokeslam for a close two and Taker is getting frustrated. The Last Ride is countered by a low blow and an Impaler gets two. Back up and Taker loads up the Last Ride again but wants it through the tables on the floor. Edge slips over the top and hits the spear for a very close two. Now the Last Ride connects but Edge gets out at two.

Rating: A. THIS is how you blow off a feud. Edge was completely destroyed at the end here with Undertaker hitting every big move he had and Edge not kicking out of them at all. These two had some great action all year long and the Cell is the best way to blow the whole thing off. Having it as a TLC match inside the Cell was fine and it made for a great main event.

Taker leaves but Edge very slowly gets up. The big man goes back inside and sets up the ladder before lifting Edge onto it. Taker throws in another ladder and climbs up next to Edge so he can throw the Canadian down through the mat. He raises his arms up and lights the hole on fire to end the show in a corny moment.

Ratings Comparison

MVP vs. Jeff Hardy

Original: B

Redo: B-

Kofi Kingston/Mickie James vs. Glamarella

Original: D

Redo: D+

Matt Hardy vs. Mark Henry

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

CM Punk vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Original: B-

Redo: C+

Great Khali vs. HHH

Original: B+

Redo: C+

Batista vs. John Cena

Original: A

Redo: A-

Edge vs. Undertaker

Original: A-

Redo: A

Overall Rating

Original: A-

Redo: A-

Funaki vs. Great Khali

Chop, big boot, Plunge and we’re done.

Here’s Khali’s showdown with Undertaker from Judgment Day 2006.

Great Khali vs. Undertaker

The gong gets a very solid pop as you would expect. Taker hammers away to start but gets nowhere at all. Scratch that as he gets sent to the floor. Khali tries the chop so Taker hammers away. And once again that gets him stuck on the floor. Nice job there dude. Cole turns into an Undertaker cheerleader as Taker gets a Stunner over the top.

You can tell this is a big match because Old School is countered. And of course, NO ONE has ever countered that before. I love revisionist history at time. Khali hammers away as well as he can, meaning this is really rather boring. Out to the floor again and Taker goes knees first into the steps. That looked painful beyond belief and people wonder why he wrestles like once a year anymore.

Back in and there’s the chop that killed Taker deader than dead before. Khali puts the foot on his chest and Taker kicks out. Of course he sits up and here comes Taker. Old School hits and Khali is staggering. Taker pounds away and hits the jumping clothesline to tie Khali up in the ropes. Fans are rapidly getting into this. Daivari gets up on the apron but the referee saves him. Khali gets untied and the chokeslam doesn’t work. A pair of chops sets up a boot to the head, allowing Khali to put his foot on Taker’s chest and get the clean pin. Now THAT is putting someone over.

Rating: D-. And the match sucked. Did you really expect anything else? The crowd is legit shocked as they probably should be. Khali was supposed to have various PPV matches with Taker but one time he was wellnessed and the second the company flat out said he wasn’t good enough to be on live PPV in a last man standing match so they had it on Smackdown with Taker of course winning. After that, he wound up as world champion so there we are.

And the slightly less worse rematch from August 18, 2006 on Smackdown. This was supposed to be at Summerslam but Khali was too horrible to be put on live TV.

Undertaker vs. Great Khali

Last man standing. Khali knocks him down to start but Undertaker wisely goes for the leg. A big boot knocks Undertaker out to the floor but he fights up with uppercuts from the floor. Undertaker comes back with a kick to the head of his own, followed by the apron legdrop and a triangle choke. Daivari goes after Undertaker with a chair, only to get chased up the set (in the days of the BIG FIST), allowing Khali to nail Undertaker from behind. Undertaker is sent into the set a few times before being tossed off the stage and through a table. He’s up at nine though and we take a break.

Back with Khali still in control and they head to ringside again. Undertaker gets hammered but says bring it on, only to be tied up in the ropes by the bigger giant. Khali fires off chops to the head to finally knock Undertaker down for another nine. Back up and Undertaker wins a slugout before clotheslining Khali out to the floor. They whip each other into the steps with Undertaker getting the better of it. He takes the chair from Daivari and pops him in the back with it as the monster is busted. Khali is up at eight so Undertaker blasts him in the ehad with the chair a few times and nails a chokeslam for the ten count.

Rating: C+. Thank goodness for editing. The match was much better than I remember it, even though it wasn’t really anything special. Khali looked like a monster that had to be slayed and Undertaker was always a good choice for it. The chokeslam at the end looked decent enough and the match worked better than it had any right to.

Next up, a match with Shawn Michaels because he can make anyone look good. From Raw, May 7, 2007.

Shawn Michaels vs. Great Khali

No DQ and the winner gets a title shot at Judgment Day. Shawn hammers away to start and gets Khali tied up in the ropes to a HUGE ovation. Not that it matters though as Khali kicks him in the face to take over. Lawler rightly points out that the referee shouldn’t have broken it up because it’s No DQ but no one cares about logic in WWE. Shawn finds a chair from ringside and nails Khali a few times to take over.

A top rope elbow drop looks to set up Sweet Chin Music but Khali catches it somewhere around his stomach. There’s the big chop and Khali chokes in the corner, followed by a very heavy clothesline. Shawn fights out of the Plunge and chokes a lot before nailing a baseball slide to knock Khali down. A DDT through the table is easily blocked and Khali throws Shawn through the table for the stoppage.

Rating: C-. There’s only so much Shawn can do when his big superkick can only hit Khali in the mid chest. Khali was a great choice for Cena to slay, even though the match here was nothing special. I’ll give them this though: they tried to do something and it worked about as well as it possibly could have.

Khali would face Cena twice in 48 hours, starting at SNME XXXIV.

John Cena vs. Great Khali

Cena is in his one year reign with the belt here and is obviously feuding with Khali. So they’re having this at One Night Stand…which is the next night apparently…so we’re having it here too. Even TNA isn’t this bad about repeating matches. Why did they even have these shows anymore? Khali is completely dominating here. We’re a minute in and Cena has had nothing.

Make that three minutes. Khali dominates even more and all of a sudden Cena has him up for the FU. It doesn’t work and then the chop and chokeslam…gets the pin with one foot? The idiocy of this astonishes me. The world champion just got freaking SQUASHED 24 hours before a PPV. Let that sink in for a bit. Ashley is ring announcer for no apparent reason.

Rating: F. THE WORLD CHAMPION just got SQUASHED in five minutes a DAY before the PPV. Why watch it now??? Why should I buy the PPV now? I know Cena is going to win, but why should I buy Cena as champion now? Apparently Khali needs 5 minutes to beat Cena, and while Cena won the next night, this was freaking stupid. I can’t defend this at all.

And now the second match, for the title, at One Night Stand 2007.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Great Khali

Falls Count Anywhere and a very pro-Cena crowd here. Cena fires off some kicks to the leg but finally gets caught and the power gets going. This is pin only which is kind of weird. Khali uses his basic offense and that’s not meant as a criticism. I mean, he’s Great Khali and a giant. There’s no reason to not have him just do basic stuff to win is there? Big boot puts Cena down again as we haven’t left the ring yet.

Cena tries to speed things up again but Khali raises his leg like a leg lariat to take him down one more time. One arm slam and Khali walks around a bit. Cena avoids a leg drop and manages to get the Throwback out of nowhere. The top rope Fameasser is blocked by the chop though and Cena falls to the floor. That gets two in the first cover of the match. Cena gets in some punches but a low dropkick misses and it’s back to Khali.

In something you won’t often see, Cena’s head goes through a monitor but avoids the big chop. He does however get thrown into the crowd as the beating continues. Out near the production area Cena gets a monitor shot to the head but can’t FU Khali. The big dude gets a bunch of forearm shots to the back as Cena stumbles around a lot. Khali misses a charge and Cena throws a boom camera at him for a two count.

Cena actually gets him up for the FU but the elbows to the head slow it down almost immediately. And hey here’s a crane for no apparent reason. Khali throws him onto the thing and tries the Punjabi Plunge. Cena manages to rake the eyes though and there’s the FU on a crane. FLY FAT BOY FLY as Khali goes to the ground and the pin follows, keeping the title on Cena.

Rating: C+. All things considered, this was rather solid. Keeping Khali out of the ring and just letting him pound on people is always the best thing you can do and this was no exception. They had about as basic of a match as you can ask for here and that’s probably a good thing. Khali as the monster isn’t terrible at times and this was one of them. all this one a pleasant surprise.

Later in the month, Khali would enter a battle royal for the vacant World Heavyweight Championship. From Smackdown on June 20, 2007.

Smackdown World Title: Battle Royal

Batista, Brett Major, Brian Major, Chavo Guerrero, Dave Taylor, Chris Masters, Deuce, Domino, Eugene, Finlay, Great Khali, Jimmy Wang Yang, Jamie Knoble, Kane, Kenny Dykstra, Mark Henry, Matt Hardy, MVP, Shannon Moore, Funaki

It’s a brawl to start with various people fighting each other. Henry throws out the Major Brothers by himself and Khali sends Moore out a few seconds later. There goes Funaki at Khali’s hands as well and we take a break. Back with no extra eliminations until it’s Khali vs. Henry for the big showdown. Nothing happens though as Kane and Batista break it up, allowing the rest of the entrants to dump Henry.

Things slow down as the fans try to get behind Matt Hardy. MVP goes after Khali and walks into a big chop. Batista wakes up and dumps Deuce and Domino (the Smackdown Tag Team Champions) before Kane tosses Dave Taylor. Kane and Batista square off but Noble gets in between them, only to have both big men launch him out. Eugene gets the same treatment and the ring is rapidly clearing out.

We’re down to Kane, Batista, Khali, Hardy, MVP, Finlay, Yang, Guerrero, Masters and Dykstra. Kane NAILS Yang with a right hand to knock him down as Chavo takes Batista down with a cross body. The camera angles start getting all weird with closeups before Batista saves himself from elimination by Finlay. We take another break and come back to see Dykstra eliminated.

Guerrero goes to the apron and comes back in for no apparent reason as Matt eliminates MVP (his opponent on Sunday) to get us down to eight. Masters puts Yang in the Masterlock but Chavo makes the save for no apparent reason. The cruiserweights team up to put out Masters but Yang eliminates Chavo a few seconds later. We’re down to six as Kane and Batista go after Khali, only to get kicked away. Cue Hornswoggle for a distraction, allowing Finlay to eliminate Yang. Really? Yang warranted interference?

Khali chops Matt out and Finlay has disappeared. Batista and Kane get chopped as Khali stands tall. He poses too long though, allowing Finlay to come in with that club that I can’t spell. Kane loads up a chokeslam on Finlay but Batista spears both guys down and dumps Finlay. It’s Kane, Batista and Khali remaining with the biggest man quickly being knocked down. Batista and Kane fight near the ropes, allowing Khali to dump them both and win the title.

Rating: D+. This was long and the space between the eliminations got really annoying. Did we really need to have Jimmy Wang Yang in the final six guys? There was no one else you could put in that spot? Khali winning was a logical choice as he didn’t win the Raw Title but was still a big enough deal that the guy beating him would look like a conquering hero. Not the worst ever and I can forgive the length due to what was on the line.

Khali would hold the title for a few months before dropping it to Batista. Here’s their rematch at No Mercy 2007, in one of the truly unique gimmick ideas WWE ever had.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. Great Khali

Batista is defending and this is inside the Punjabi Prison. Ok so there’s a big round cage around the ring that goes down to the floor. It comes up to a circle at the top with sharp sticks on top. There’s another cage (all made of bamboo mind you) with four gates on it. You can request to open one at any time and at that point you have sixty seconds to go through it. If you don’t get out, it’s closed and that gate can’t be used again. You have to get out of both cages to win. It’s WAY too complicated which is why there were only two of these matches ever.

Batista gets in a quick shot to knock Khali into the ropes and tie him up. He hammers away instead of leaving like an intelligent person would. Well he’s an animal so maybe that explains it. Khali comes back with a chop to the head and opens a gate, but Batista stops him enough for the clock to go down. The Plunge is countered but Khali kicks him down. Leg drop misses and Batista spears him down.

The second gate is opened but Khali grabs the leg. He chokes him against the cage until the clock runs out and the door is shut. Khali pulls a rope off the wall of the cage to tie Batista to the cage. There’s a strap attached to the cage for some reason so Khali pulls it down and it’s whipping time. Batista wasn’t tied up so I guess it was just choking. The third gate is opened but Khali walks into a spinebuster. Big Dave goes for the door but Khali stops him again, leaving us with only one door.

Batista grabs the strap and gives Khali a beating. Now Batista tries to climb over the top for some reason but Khali pounds him down, right into position for Batista to Bomb him out of the corner. Khali blocks it with punches though and the champion is down. Vice Grip goes on and Batista is in trouble. Khali asks for the fourth gate to be opened but Batista hits him low to put both guys down.

The last door closes so Khali beats up the referee through the cage. Khali tries to climb as JBL says this is something out of Jurassic Park. Uh….not exactly Jibbles. Khali tries to climb out but gets knocked down. JBL: “When big men fall down off the top rope like that it hurts.” Batista climbs as well but gets pulled down with a big crash. Khali climbs up and over the top of the first cage while Batista is still down. Both guys climb a cage and in a very cool looking ending, Batista jumps from the outside of the inner cage to the inside of the outer cage and gets up and out faster than Khali can to retain.

Rating: C-. I don’t think anyone would say this was good. I don’t think anyone would argue that a regular cage match wouldn’t have been better. I do however think this wasn’t half bad. The ending was really cool with that jump being something almost out of an action movie. It was an interesting experiment but thankfully they didn’t try it after this.

Khali wouldn’t do much for the next year, but would get a title shot at Summerslam 2008.

Smackdown World Title: HHH vs. Great Khali

The Game is defending. HHH is a very tall man in his own right and is probably a foot shorter than Khali. The champion pounds away but has to stick and move to not get killed. That doesn’t blow HHH’s skirt up though so he tries the Pedigree. Khali easily grabs HHH and hits his Punjabi Plunge (two handed chokeslam finisher) but doesn’t cover. Instead he loads up his Vice (head squeeze) but HHH kicks at the long legs to escape. A chop block puts Khali down and out to the floor where his manager Runjin Singh tries to calm him down.

HHH, ever the bright guy, charges at Khali again and is chopped down with ease. Back inside and Khali pounds away with some elbows in the corner to drop the champion. The fans tell Khali that he can’t wrestle as he puts one foot on HHH for a cover. Off to a nerve hold by the challenger followed by a slam and legdrop. Back to the nerve hold for a bit before HHH fights up and hits the facebuster. It doesn’t put Khali on the mat but it does tie him up in the ropes.

Khali will have none of this being in trouble though as he lifts up his boot to kick HHH down before freeing himself from the ropes. Back up and HHH tries the Pedigree again, only to be backdropped out to the floor. A hard chop puts HHH down again and as they come back in there’s the vice grip again. HHH almost breaks the hold but Khali gets it back on for a few more seconds. A charge misses the champion in the corner and he FINALLY hits the Pedigree to retain the title.

Rating: C+. This match, while slow, was a great example of psychology in a wrestling match. HHH knew that there was only one move he could use to hurt Khali and give him a chance for the win so it was the only thing he tried for most of the match. This was HHH working around someone and it worked quite well as HHH is a very talented wrestler, which unfortunately is often forgotten. Easily Khali’s best match ever.

Khali would turn face soon after this and be on Shawn Michaels’ Survivor Series team in 2008.

Team HBK vs. Team JBL

Shawn Michaels, Rey Mysterio, Cryme Tyme, Great Khali
John Bradshaw Layfield, The Miz, John Morrison, Kane, MVP

I think you can figure out the feuds yourself here. MVP and Mysterio get things going as all of the commentators are talking at once here. MVP is in the middle of a massive losing streak that would result in a face turn and I believe the US Title. Rey hits a quick rana and a clothesline for two before it’s off to JTG for a double dropkick. JTG hits a HARD right hand but MVP gets in a shot to the ribs and hits the Drive-By (running kick to the side of the head) for the elimination. Khali immediately comes in and chops MVP in the head for the elimination to tie things up.

Kane comes in for the staredown of the giants and Khali clotheslines him down with ease. Khali slugs him down and easily breaks up a chokeslam attempt. There’s the chop to the head and Rey climbs on Khali’s shoulders for the splash and another elimination. Off to Morrison who speeds things up. We hear about how great Morrison is from Striker, but unfortunately that chick Melina screwed up his future. Mysterio hits a quick kick to the head and it’s off to Shad.

Now Cryme Tyme vs. Miz/Morrison was a feud ahead of its time: their internet shows got in an argument and a wrestling feud followed. Shad misses a charge into the corner and it’s off to Miz. Since Miz isn’t quite the worker he is at this point, it’s back to Morrison very quickly. Shad runs over both members of the tag team and powerslams Miz down before hitting another overhyped elbow. Miz pops back up and hits the Reality Check (backbreaker/neckbreaker combo) to eliminate Shad.

It’s off to Shawn who comes in via a slow, dramatic step. He gets to face the Miz, meaning that entrance was wasted. To the shock of almost everyone, Miz takes over and double teams with Morrison to work over Shawn’s back. JBL, the slimmed down version, comes in to pound away and drop an elbow for two. Back to Miz who pounds away at Shawn’s bad eye, busting it open again.

Morrison comes in again to crank on a headlock and send Shawn over the top. Why would you turn your back when you throw Shawn over the top rope? At least Morrison jumps him when Shawn skins the cat. A forearm puts Shawn down and Morrison nips up in a little jab at HBK. Morrison misses the top rope elbow and it’s a double tag to bring in Miz vs. Mysterio. Rey hits a springboard rana into the 619 and the top rope splash puts Miz out.

JBL comes in and hits a hard shoulder to take Mysterio down. The crowd is WAY into Rey here. The fans think JBL can’t wrestle. The correct chant would be “You can’t work a style we like because we think that flying around and using a lot of moves is how a wrestler’s talents are determined because we don’t know what we’re talking about!” Off to Morrison with a European uppercut followed by a backbreaker.

Rey gets in a kick to the face but it’s off to JBL to hook an abdominal stretch with the leg being cranked on at the same time. Once Rey escapes, JBL uses something you don’t often see: a big boot to the back of the head. Rey blocks a belly to back superplex and hits a moonsault press to put JBL down and bust open his lip. There’s the tag to Shawn who hits the forearm and nip up of his own (take that Morrison) to send Bradshaw to the floor.

Shawn dives out to take Bradshaw out and loads up the superkick to send JBL running away. With JBL running away from the kick, Shawn slides back in and beats the count by one second, meaning JBL is gone via a countout. Morrison tries to superkick Shawn but Shawn is like boy these boots are older than you and kicks Morrison’s head off for the final pin and 3-0 final score for lack of a better term.

Rating: C. This was fine but the ending was kind of anti-climatic. They were trying to save the Shawn pin over JBL which was a good idea as they would have a solid feud in the next few months which resulted in Shawn being JBL’s lackey because Shawn was poor. The guys other than the captains in this didn’t do much of note but that’s kind of the idea behind a match like this. Not bad but nothing great either.

2009 would be a pretty bad year for Khali but he did have this match at The Bash.

Great Khali vs. Dolph Ziggler

This is a street fight for all intents and purposes. I love Runjin Singh. His sideburns have powers I think. Ziggler’s music is perfect. Actually make that perfection. Also he’s apparently moved from Hollywood, Florida to Hollywood, California. His look is great until his hair gets all puffy and then he looks like Curt Hennig which is a compliment.

Of course Ziggler gets beaten down early, including taking the chop that pinned Cena back in 07 or so but since Khali is a jobber to the stars now it’s just a regular move. Khali is just scary huge. I’ve seen him live and he’s massive. And then he chops the post to get himself in trouble. Dolph grabs a chair which is fine here and he wisely goes for the knee. At least he’s thinking.

We get the bowling shoe analogy about Khali and I roll my eyes. He’s 7’4 and 450lbs. What the heck are you expecting him to do? And here comes Kane for no adequately explained reason. Ziggler beats the tar out of Khali’s knee as Kane is coming and then Kane goes semi-Austin at Mania 17 on Khali. And then Ziggler gets the pin. This went nowhere.

Rating: D+. It’s your standard David vs. Goliath here and that’s all it was supposed to be. The key thing here is that Ziggler has a huge win by pinfall that in this match is perfectly legal. He’s never really gotten a big push, but he started feuding with Rey just after this so that’s something I guess.

We’ll jump way ahead to Raw on September 6, 2010 as Khali’s career is starting to fall quickly.

Edge vs. Great Khali

Edge goes outside to break the computer but the referee stops him. He makes fun of Khali like Hall used to make fun of Show. Edge wins by count out in about a minute. Total waste of time, but we have an e-mail. The GM doesn’t care so the match continues as an over the top rope challenge.

Back from a break and Edge sells the overhand chop really well. Khali steps over the top rope to the floor and nothing happens. Lawler tries to cover by saying you have to be thrown over. I love rule changes for the sake of rule changes. He steps over again but Edge grabs his leg, so this one counts.

Rating: N/A. Total waste of time here as it was just to give Edge what seemed like a difficult match. This went nowhere at all and wasn’t interesting as everyone knew Edge would pull it off somehow.

Another year off now as we hit Raw on September 5, 2011. Khali actually had a story at this point as his brother in law Jinder Mahal was forcing him to be evil to prevent him from shaming Khali’s sister.

Evan Bourne/Kofi Kingston vs. Jinder Mahal/Great Khali

They’re officially Air Boom. Justin Roberts told me so. This is non-title. Mahal vs. Bourne to start us off and Bourne tries to speed things up but gets caught in the face by a jumping knee. Lawler has to fight either Otunga or McGillicutty later tonight. Khali comes in and beats up Bourne for a bit and it’s back to Jinder. Bourne gets in a shot and there’s the hot tag to Kofi. He beats up Mahal but is sent to the floor by Khali. Khali sends Kofi back in but misses a chop, hitting Mahal instead. That sets up the Shooting Star for the pin at 3:15.

Rating: C. This match made perfect sense. The champions couldn’t hang against the two bigger guys physically so they used teamwork to escape with the win. I liked this and it’s cool to see a team thrown together actually working as a unit and having some chemistry. You can get good teams out of that and it’s working here.

Khali would be called upon to be a monster at Elimination Chamber 2012.

Smackdown World Title: Big Show vs. Great Khali vs. Cody Rhodes vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Santino Marella vs. Wade Barrett

Barrett and Big Show start in the ring. Show runs Barrett over to start but Barrett gets him down for one. They go outside and Show gets rammed into the cage door twice. Wade goes after the knee but Show kicks him off. We get a statement from Lawler saying that if you’re knocked out (like Jericho was) that counts as a submission. Why do I have a feeling this won’t be enforced later? Show wants Bryan as the buzzer goes off but gets Cody instead. Show is standing there waiting on him and things slow down a lot.

Cody gets thrown to the outside while Barrett is thrown back inside. Chokeslam to Barrett is countered and Wade chop blocks Show down. Cody and Barrett team up on Show and start fighting a few seconds later. Santino comes in fourth and after he hits his usual stuff, Show runs him over. Cody takes Show down by the knee though as the fans chant for Santino.

Barrett and Cody double suplex Show onto the steel to put him down. Cody hits the moonsault to Barrett and goes after Santino. No one is out yet. Rhodes rams the Cobra hand into the cage and Khali is in fifth. Chops and clotheslines for both heels and the Punjabi Plunge to Rhodes. One to Barrett as well and a chop to Santino. The giants face off and Show spears Khali for an elimination about 40 seconds after Khali entered.

Show keeps staring at Bryan and then even tries to reach in and grab him. He breaks the chains on the pod and has broken through. Bryan demands the door be opened but Show has broken in and climbed through the top. The place ERUPTS for this. The clock goes off to release Bryan but they’re both inside the pod. Bryan manages to get out but Show does the required breaking the plexiglass spot. You know, THE SAME THING THAT HAPPENS EVERY YEAR.

Into the ring now and Show loads up the right hand. Oh wait it’s the chokeslam instead but Barrett kicks Show in the face before there’s a cover. Santino pops up for a quick rollup for two on Barrett but is then thrown to the outside. Cody hits two Beautiful Disasters to Show followed by a DDT. Barrett hits a middle rope DDT and Big Show is gone to a big reaction. So it’s Cody, Barrett, Bryan and Santino to go.

Make that three as Santino rolls up Cody to pin him. Cody hits Cross Rhodes to Santino. There’s Cody’s next feud I guess. Barrett covers Santino but it only gets two. Barrett hammers on him and ties Santino’s arms in the Chamber wall. The beating continues on Santino for awhile until Bryan gets back up with a flying knee to Barrett. Bryan goes up but Barrett knocks him part of the way into it again by the back of the head.

Barrett loads up Wasteland off the middle rope but Santino breaks it up because he’s an idiot. Santino tries a superplex but gets shoved off. He avoids an elbow and Bryan hits a top rope headbutt, allowing Santino to steal the pin, meaning he’s eliminated Cody Rhodes and Wade Barrett. Bryan is very happy to see what he’s up against as it’s one on one now. It turns into a cat and mouse game and Santino even gets the Cobra for two. The LeBell Lock goes on and Santino taps at 33:57.

Rating: B-. Better match with better drama, but at the end of the day this wasn’t that great. Khali being out quick was fine but I have some real issues with them jobbing out their heels AGAIN for the sake of a one off thing. Barrett was this evil violent and cunning man and he loses to Santino. The same for the longest reigning IC Champion in 8 years. And for what? A pop because they can’t put the freaking US Champion in there? Ok I’m shutting up before I go too long with this. Match was ok, but nothing great.

Another one off match from the live Great American Bash Smackdown.

Great Khali/Layla vs. Aksana/Antonio Cesaro

This is punishment from Teddy because he’s a sore loser. The guys start and it’s time for a chop in the corner to Cesaro. Khali misses a big boot and Antonio takes him down in the corner. Khali throws him aruond some more and it’s off to the girls. Layla isn’t exactly Trish or Lita but she’s by far the better in ring worker of the two here. Cesaro breaks up a cover and is thrown to the floor. Layout gets the pin at 1:45, and that means Layla pinned Aksana in case you can’t figure out that LAYla uses the LAYout and you can’t check the results below if you’re not sure.

Khali’s matches would start getting a lot shorter due to injuries. Here’s an example from Smackdown on February 8, 2013.

Great Khali vs. Titus O’Neal

Josh calls Khali a Hall of Famer, sending JBL into a huge rant about how we follow Bruno Sammartino with this guy. Khali chops him into the corner as Teddy and Booker are watching in the back. Titus pounds Khali down and hits a big boot to the head for two. Off to a front facelock but Khali shrugs it off and the big chop ends Titus at 1:34.

We’ll wrap it up with Raw, June 30, 2014.

Great Khali vs. Damien Sandow

Chop, pin, four seconds.

Great Khali is a guy who gets more flack than he deserves. No he isn’t great in the ring or anything like that, but what do you expect from a guy 7’3 and 420lbs? He’s a power giant and that’s all he should try to do. Just like every other giant in history, a lot of the mystique went away once he got beat and that’s to be expected. He’s never going to win the Lou Thesz Award, but people calling him the worst wrestler in the world completely miss the point.

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If Rollins was a step up, today is a leap down. Today is Hornswoggle.

Finlay/Little Bastard vs. Boogeyman/Little Boogeyman

Yeah it’s a mixed tag match with midgets. I’ll be calling him Horny here and he’s scared to death so he dives under the ring before the other team gets there. JBL says not to call him Little Bastard as his parents’ names are not Mr. and Mrs. Bastard. We go over Horny’s fear of little people as he hides under the ring. JBL: I don’t know what’s under there. There could be a whole colony of Lilliputians under there. HOLY FORESHADOWING BATMAN!

JBL is cracking me up here. “THAT IS THE RING I LOST THE WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP TO JOHN CENA IN AND NOW THERE’S A LEPRECHAUN UNDER IT!!!” Boogeyman gets a fireman’s carry as this is a handicap match to start. JBL calls Cole a non-heterosexual Barry Horowitz. He keeps making jokes about their names and how absurd they are which is rather true.

Little Boogeyman comes in and gets some fat drops to have Finlay in trouble. And then he eats some worms. Horny finally comes in and rolls up his sleeves to fight. Finlay kicks the midget monster in the head. Little Boogeyman gets a small package on Finlay for two. JBL has no idea what to think. Finlay gets a short arm scissors and Little Boogeyman is tapping but it’s not acknowledged for some reason.

Horny pulls the other midget under the ring but when Finlay goes to find him he finds the regular (and I use that term loosely) Boogeyman. Boogey beats on Finlay and I have no idea what I’m watching. A Rocket Launcher from the Boogies gets two as Horny saves. Big Boogeyman chases him off with worms so Finlay can conk the midget with his club that is way too hard to spell for the pin.

Rating: D-. The match was horrible as I hate midgets, but the commentary here was absolutely hysterical. JBL’s deadpan rants about how stupid this was were so perfect and it worked the whole way. Luckily I think the Little Boogeyman was dropped soon after this. All of that being said, check this out for JBL alone.

Then this happened at Great American Bash 2007.

Cruiserweight Title: Jimmy Wang Yang vs. Chavo Guerrero vs. Shannon Moore vs. Jamie Noble vs. Funaki

It’s a five man match but remember that this is a Cruiserweight Open, as in anyone can get in on this. Chavo is champion coming in. This is the dying days of the title as this was thrown on the card yesterday with no story. They did these kind of matches for probably a year. Hornswoggle is on the floor and hides under the ring. Chavo tries to run but gets thrown outside instead. This is one fall to a finish.

This is one of those matches where you can’t really keep up with anything so the whole thing is pretty all over the place. Chavo comes back in and Cole talks about his Latina wife. Shannon gets two on Chavo but Funaki hits a cross body onto both of them for a combined two. Powerslam gets two for Noble but Chavo breaks it up again. Chavo hooks some freaky rollup on Yang and transitions into a half crab but it gets broken up by Funaki.

Moore slams Funaki into the buckle HARD. Noble vs. Moore now. Make that Noble vs. Funaki. See what I mean about how there’s no point in trying to call this? Funaki gets an enziguri for two on Moore. Gory Bomb to Funaki gets two for the champ. Almost everyone goes to the floor so Yang sets for a dive. Chavo stops it and it’s Tower of Doom time. Noble is down and here’s Horny to come off the top with a Tadpole Splash to win the title.

Rating: C-. Like I said there’s only so much you can do in these. The ending is totally legal when you think about it: he’s certainly small enough and it was an Open so anyone can enter at any time right? This wasn’t anything great but it was very clear that the title was done. And no it wasn’t Horny that killed it. The belt was long since dead.

Around this time, Hornswoggle was revealed to be Vince McMahon’s illegitimate son. Vince being Vince, he decided that his son needed some tough love, including this match from Survivor Series 2007. as well as stripping him of the Cruiserweight Title.

Hornswoggle vs. Great Khali

Runjin Singh, Khali’s manager, says we should have the wrestlers get together for the reading of the rules. This results in Singh talking over the referee as he translates. The fans want Shaq but they get the bell instead. The fans realize Shaq is here and Vince tells him to sit down. Vince tells the fans he doesn’t care what they want. Now there’s a shoot if there’s ever been one. Horny takes off his jacket and hat and kicks Singh in the face. Horny kicks at the legs of Khali…and wisely runs away. Singh runs his mouth some more and gets GREEN MIST IN THE FACE!

Horny dives on Singh and pounds away before hiding from Khali under the ring. The small guy finds that Irish club and calls Khali in but the stick is of course caught. Khali kicks him down but before the Vice Grip can go on, Finlay runs in for the save and face turn. This ran over three minutes but it doesn’t deserve to be rated. At least this did serve a purpose though, so it’s not a total failure. It should have been on Raw though.

Finlay beats up Singh and Khali with the club. It would eventually be revealed that Finlay was Horny’s father, but I’m not quite sure why Vince agreed to the whole thing in storyline.

You know what’s better than one midget character? A BUNCH OF THEM! From January 14, 2008 on Raw.

Mini Royal Rumble

This is a five man match and it’s standard Rumble rules with thirty second intervals. The arena is full of smoke due to JBL’s previous segment. Hornswoggle and Mini Mr. Kennedy start. Kennedy can’t reach the microphone for the pre match bit in a comedy spot. Apparently Hornswoggle is already in the regular Royal Rumble along with Mick Foley. Horny gets sent face first into the middle turnbuckle and Mini Mankind is in third. Kennedy stomps a mudhole in him as the fans are totally out of this.

Mankind is about a foot taller than everyone else but Horny blocks Socko and kicks him out. In a surprising power display, Hornswoggle presses Kennedy over the top rope, leaving him alone to face Mini Batista at #4. The rather chubby Batista hits a spear and does signature stuff but has the Batista Bomb countered. JR sounds miserable on commentary. Mini Kane is number five and is the shortest person in the match so far. He nails uppercuts all around but walks into the spinebuster and Batista Bomb.

Not that it matters as Horny kicks Batista low and dumps him, only for Kane to kind of sit up. A middle rope clothesline drops Horny and Kane sets up a chokeslam. JR: “Imagine the elevation.” Horny just glares at him with a look that says “Really?”. A Celtic Cross puts Kane down and there he goes, leaving Hornswoggle alone. Here comes the real Great Khali at #6, despite it being announced at five people. I smell a McMahon. Mini Batista attacks Hornswoggle from behind but Finlay makes the save with the club to knock Khali to the floor, which I guess counts as an elimination.

Rating: F. Oh just….no.

This whole thing had to lead to this. From February 11, 2008 on Raw.

Hornswoggle vs. Vince McMahon

No DQ. This is a result of Horny biting Vince last week instead of joining his club. Vince shoves him down to start and poses. Horny can’t reach Vince’s hands for a test of strength so Vince gets on his knees and offers a free shot. The arm is pulled back but Horny can’t do it at first.

That only lasts a few seconds until he finally slaps Vince, so the dad takes off his belt for a whipping. Finlay comes out to defend his buddy so Vince threatens to fire him and ruin Finlay’s family. Vince leans down to yell at Hornswoggle about what a coward Finlay is and shoves the litle guy down. Finlay blasts Vince in the head with the club and Horny hits a Tadpole Splash for the pin.

Rating: N/A. This was an angle instead of a match. For the life of me I’m not sure who thought this story was a good idea, but Kennedy getting Wellnessed caused us to have to sit through all this nonsense. Finlay never really got a big push out of it either, which is really kind of surprising.

It would soon be revealed that Finlay was Horny’s father so the two formed a team. Here’s a Tag Team Title shot for them at Night of Champions 2008.

Smackdown Tag Titles: John Morrison/Miz vs. Finlay/Hornswoggle

Please make it short. They already did that didn’t they? Do I need to explain to you why this is a dumb match? And the fans pop for the challengers because that’s what Satan told them to do. The tall guy and the Monday Night Delight start us off. Ross and Foley are a weird pairing on commentary. Horny is listed at 4’4. Why did Vince wonder why we didn’t like the company in 08?

We do get a spot that I haven’t seen before as Morrison jumps over the rope and gets crotched on the ring skirt. I’ve never seen that before. Finlay starts throwing Horny into Miz and Morrison as a projectile. This is a comedy match that forgot the comedy. How weird is it to think that two years later Miz could be a potential MITB winner? I wouldn’t be surprised if he won it. Miz and Morrison were really starting to get good here but wouldn’t hit their stride for a few more months.

Horny comes in and beats up Miz, hitting a Stunner and a bulldog. None of these do anything of course since HE IS TINY. The problem becomes clear here very soon: the heels have to either beat up Horny or have him get the hot tag. Finlay beats up everyone after such a tag and the fans care for some reason. Horny goes up for the splash and Morrison finally realizes how stupid this is and more or less chokeslams him to the mat, ending this annoyance.

Rating: D. I mean seriously, it’s a midget and an old man against a good and young team. Was this really the best option they had? They wanted this to make this a serious match and it just completely failed. It was a hybrid comedy match and mess and just didn’t work. They wanted Horny to be something serious and it just didn’t work so of course they kept going with it forever.

We’ll jump ahead to April 21, 2009 when Hornswoggle was on ECW. This is his final appearance on the show before going to Raw and he said (remember that for later) that he wanted to wrestle. Tyson Kidd objected so here’s the result.

Natalya vs. Hornswoggle

Horny does a Warrior rope shake while Natalya makes fun of him. The test of strength spot annoys Hornswoggle again so he bites her tights and gets two off a spear. Tyson tries to interfere but Finlay cuts him off, allowing Horny to roll Natalya up for a quick pin.

Next up was a long and stupid feud against Chavo Guerrero Jr. where the guests hosts of Raw made one gimmick after another, including Chavo being having his arm tied behind his back or boxing. On July 27, 2009, he was blindfolded.

Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Hornswoggle

A kick by Horny knocks Chavo to the floor and it takes awhile for him to get back in. We get the required cornering the referee spot before Horny gets two off a rollup. The little guy hammers away even more until Chavo pulls the hood up and hits a dropkick. He can’t see for the cover though and the crowd is already annoyed. Horny gets up but lays back down, so Chavo tries a frog splash. Horny goes to the apron, Chavo misses the splash, Tadpole Splash gets the pin. Chavo lost every single match in this feud.

We’ll jump ahead again as Hornswoggle didn’t wrestle full time. Next up is Smackdown, December 10, 2010. Hornswoggle had been named the official mascot of Smackdown and would face Jack Swagger’s mascot, the Swagger Soaring Eagle.

Hornswoggle vs. Soaring Eagle

Rosa comes out with Horny. The Eagle is billed at 6’0 tall and with a wingspan of 5’0. This is so stupid. Please make this be quick. Striker lists off facts about eagles before Horny pulls out a bag of, and I can’t believe I’m saying this, ACME (spelled wrong) birdseed. The eagle (allegedly Chavo) goes for it and gets kicked in the head. Rosa hands Horny a napkin which he tucks into his shirt and bites the Eagle’s leg.

Would anyone be opposed to some fast forwarding here? The Eagle misses Ballin (shoot me now….please) and the Tadpole Splash ends this at 2:28. Cole gets in two good lines at the end though. As Horny goes up for the splash, “GET OUT OF THE WAY! YOU’RE ENDANGERED!” and the second being singing Fly Like An Eagle by the Steve Miller Band, even though the Eagle wasn’t the one flying. Was there ANY point to this?

Another jump of nearly a year brings us to Smackdown, November 29, 2011. It’s the Holiday Special and Horny is in the Make A Wish battle royal, where the winner gets anything he wants.

Battle Royal

There are twenty people in this and I’ll let you figure out who all is in it yourselves. I see Mahal, Slater, the Usos, Jackson, Sheamus, O’Neil, Watson, DiBiase, Hunico, Reks, Gabriel, Kidd and Horny. Sheamus is by far the biggest name in this. Hawkins and Young are in there. Young is out quickly as is I think Jey Uso. JTG is in this and as soon as I say this he’s eliminated. DiBiase and Gabriel try to get Hawkins out but can’t quite do it. Kofi and Yoshi Tatsu are in this and I think that’s everyone.

There goes Hawkins at the hands of Big Zeke. We get the showdown with Jackson and Sheamus with with pale One beating him down. Jackson sets for a big clotheline but Sheamus ducks to put him out. Johnny Curtis was the 20th guy in there and Sheamus puts him out easily. Kofi puts out the other Uso but Kidd dropkicks Kingston out seconds later.

Tatsu is gone and Kidd skins the cat and pulls out DiBiase at the same time. Horny slips out from the floor and pulls Kidd out. We take a break with about 8 people left. Back with eight people left: O’Neil, Hunico, Gabriel, Mahal, Reks, Sheamus, Slater and Horny. Gabriel tries to jump on the apron but Mahal knocks him to the floor. Clash of the Titus puts Reks down but he barks too much and Sheamus puts him out. Dang it I wanted him to wish for NXT to end.

Slater and Mahal jump Sheamus but he explodes and beats everyone down. Everyone goes to the floor through the ropes and beats Sheamus down. No one is in the ring at the moment. Ok so now everyone but Sheamus is in. It’s Mahal, Hunico, Slater and Reks. Mahal says we need to go find Horny. They all pick a side of the ring and dive under the ring. Mahal catches him and it’s 4-1. Slater shoves him down as does Hunico.

They all carefully stomp him but before the toss him Sheamus is back in. There goes Reks and Hucio is out as well. Mahal is out and a Brogue Kick puts Slater down. Ok so it’s Horny vs. Sheamus. Oh good grief. Horny says bring it on and Sheamus isn’t sure what to say. He tells Horny to get out but Horny tells him to get out. He kicks Sheamus in the shins but Sheamus grabs him by the beard and starts putting him out but Horny grabs the top rope. Sheamus gets on the apron and detatches him but Horny won’t get off the apron. Sheamus tries to talk to him and they hug, but Horny shoves him off for the win at 13:25.

Rating: C+. This was fun until the end, when it just got stupid. Why in the world would have put Horny over here for the sake of a comedy bit? Well at least this is for an obscure prize instead of something like a title shot so it could be a lot worse. Ok maybe not a lot worse but it could be worse.

From later in the show.

Ricardo hits on the Bellas at the party as Piper talks to Dusty. They’re talking about Cena and Dusty thinks it’s ridiculous to think the fans are going to get to Cena. Santa comes up and sits down for Horny to ask for his wish. There’s something about celery, Jonas Salk, Peter Falk and chalk. Foley has it wrong and it’s that Horny wants to TALK. They hug and Horny can speak. He goes around using his new powers and calls Vickie a grandma. Foley pops up in a Cactus Jack shirt and Santa is gone. Piper and Dream have no idea what’s going on and I don’t really want the answer.

From Smackdown, April 19, 2013.

Great Khali/Natalya/Hornswoggle vs. Epico/Primo/Rosa Mendes

We actually get a reason for this match: Epico/Primo/Rosa stole Horny’s parking spot earlier and there’s video to prove it. I’ve heard worse. I can’t think of anything off the top of my head but I’ve heard worse. Nattie takes Rosa down to start but can’t hook the Sharpshooter. Rosa comes back with a kick to the back and a chinlock but Natalya fights back with a clothesline. Off to Epico and Khali with the giant hitting some hard chops in the corner. Primo tries to help but gets sent into the same corner as Epico for simultaneous chops. Horny annoys Rosa into a chase and Khali hits the Punjabi Plunge to pin Epico at 3:18.

Rating: D. Rosa was basically in half of a swimsuit and a vest so it doesn’t fail based on that alone. That’s about the extent of the good parts of the match though as none of these are people I care to see. At the end of the day they’re fighting over a parking lot, but how many people can’t get on television? Remarkable.

Hornswoggle would join 3MB in 2014 because COMEDY, leading to a feud with Los Matadores and their mascot El Torito. This set up Wee LC at Extreme Rules 2014.

Pre-Show: El Torito vs. Hornswoggle

This is the WeeLC match which exists for reasons beyond my comprehension and you win by pinfall/submission. There are mini versions of all three commentators, a mini referee and a mini ring announcer. Torito hammers away to start but dives onto the other Band members. Horny can’t manage a dive and Torito pulls out a chair. That’s no good for some reason so it’s off to a mini chair. A headstand in the corner sets up a Bronco Buster and here’s Mahal to interfere.

Torito crotches him on the top rope and sends Horny face first into Mahal’s groin. Horny takes Torito down and we get two sizes of stepladders brought in. Horny goes to the top of the bigger one but gets nervous so Torito lays down for him. Thankfully he moves when Horny tries a splash and we take a break. I really question the need for commercials for events airing on a service that I’ve already purchased to watch the show the commercials are airing on.

Back with 3MB and Los Matadores brawling on the floor. The commentators names: JB Elf, Jerry Smaller and Micro Cole. Torito gets slammed down for two and rolls out to the floor, only to be slammed down. Horny loads up the mini announce table (standing about two feet off the ground) and drops an elbow to drive Torito through. Fans: THIS IS AWESOME! Back inside with 3MB setting up a 6ft ladder and another mini table as Horny hits Torito with the mini chair.

The chair winds up hitting Heath low by mistake, knocking him through some full sized tables on the floor. Torito saves himself from being suplexed through a pile of tables and ladders at ringside as the Matadores make the save. Instead Torito DRIVES ALL THREE GUYS THROUGH THE LADDERS AND CHAIRS! Torito is laid on a full table outside and Drew misses a great looking flip dive for a crash of his own. Back inside and a springboard seated senton through a table gives El Torito the pin at 10:48.

Rating: A+. Do I even need to explain this one? One note: I really hope WWE lets this one be instead of trying to top it over and over again and driving the gimmick into the ground. You had an entertaining match. Be happy with that and maybe have another one down the road, but don’t try to make this something important on Raw every few weeks or it dies in a hurry.

Yeah he’s a comedy guy, but people forget that Hornswoggle can have a good match under the right circumstances. He isn’t a great worker or anything like that, but kids like him and he sells merchandise so there’s nothing wrong with keeping him around. Hornswoggle is reminiscent of Eugene: he’s fine if you don’t take him too seriously but when you put him in a major storyline, people lose interest. Stuff like the WeeLC match was hilarious though and that’s the kind of stuff he’s great at.

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The main story at the moment is Brodus Clay wanting a piece of the NXT Title and going after Adrian Neville to get there. Other than that we’re looking forward to seeing Sami Zayn get his hands on Corey Graves after Graves injured him a few weeks back. The Divas division is also getting more and more awesome so let’s get to it.

Colin Cassady vs. Aiden English

English kicks him in the ribs to start as Regal is already sucking up to Aiden. Big Cass hammers away as we hear about Aiden declaring himself an upper echelon talent in NXT. The SAWFT Boot to the face gets two but Aiden just hammers him down to take over again. A hard elbow to the head keeps Cass in trouble as Regal talks about how to throw the hardest punches. The Director’s Cut is countered but Cass’ spinning Rock Bottom is countered into a rollup with a handful of trunks for the pin at 4:10.

Rating: D+. English winning is always a good thing as he’s ready to move up the ladder in NXT. I’m not saying he’s ready for the main roster but English would be a great opponent for Neville once he’s done with Brodus. The singing gimmick is just about perfect though and that’s the important part.

Tyler Breeze has Devin read his names off a phone. He has nothing to say and just wanted her to read so he could make a gorgeous cameo. Awesome indeed.

We look at Paige winning the Divas Title on Raw.

Paige, holding both belts, doesn’t buy the other Divas’ congratulations on Raw. She’s also ready for the BFFs here in NXT. Paige has studied every Diva on both rosters and will never get comfortable. This is the most she’s ever talked and it wasn’t half bad.

Camacho vs. Oliver Grey

This is Grey’s return match after being gone forever with a knee injury. The fans chant KING HAKU at Camacho (Haku’s son) in a cool moment. A dropkick and wristlock give Oliver early control but Camacho runs him over with a hard elbow. Some forearms to the back set up a Samoan drop for the pin on Grey at 2:00. This was just a squash, but to be fair did anyone care that Grey was back anyway?

Bo Dallas says his fans are law abiding citizens so they didn’t do anything illegal last week. However the Bo Dallas Hotline is running wild so he knows the Bo Lievers will never stop Bo Lieving in him to get the NXT Title back.

Ascension vs. Wesley Blake/Cal Bishop

Blake tries some shots to the ribs but Konnor just ENDS him with a clothesline. A shoulder does the same and it’s off to Viktor for some HARD chops on the floor. Back in and Konnor stomps away in the corner before the Fall of Man ends Blake at 2:19. Can we please move them to WWE, because they’re basically Paige with slightly worse legs.

Charlotte talks over Sasha in the back and takes over the BFFs.

CJ Parker vs. Great Khali

Before the match, Parker says he can’t sleep at night because he’s wondering what this planet would be like without the NXT Universe. There would be no litter in his street or animals in his zoos. Parker wants to know how people can boo a man that wants to change the world for the better but Khali’s music cuts him off. They trade chops to start and I believe you can guess who wins.

We get the loud chops in the corner and a clothesline puts Parker on the floor. Back in and Parker gets in a shot to the knee to take over, drawing what might be the greatest chant in history. Parker: “I JUST WANT TO CHANGE THE WORLD!” Fans: “GLOBAL WARMING! GLOBAL WARMING!” Khali fights back and the Plunge is good for the pin at 2:33. The fans’ hatred of Parker is glorious.

Emma might have a partner to face the BFFs next week.

Sami Zayn insists that he’s fine and says he’ll be taking care of Graves soon.

Jason Jordan/Tye Dillinger vs. Baron Corbin/Sawyer Fulton

Jordan and Dillinger get an entrance and have similar trunks. I’ll take it over the random pairings we usually get around here. The good guys use some decent double teaming on Corbin for two before it’s Dillinger with some hard chops in the corner. Corbin comes back with a hard clothesline of his own before it’s off to Fulton for some elbow drops for two. A suplex gets the same but Corbin goes to the middle rope, only to save himself from diving into Tye’s boot. Baron misses an elbow drop though and it’s hot tag to Jordan. House is cleaned and the MNM Snapshot is good for the pin on Baron at 4:27.

Rating: C-. Standard speed vs. power formula match here so it was really hard to screw up. Jordan and Dillinger aren’t anything special but they’re something new so points for trying at least. The Snapshot is a good finisher to bring back as well and makes for a good double team move. Nice little match here to debut the team.

Adrian Neville vs. Brodus Clay

Non-title. Adrian goes right at him and fires off kicks to the legs. Renee: “I’d run around him like Mario around Koopa!” A sleeper doesn’t get Neville anywhere and he dives into a release fisherman’s suplex for two. Brodus goes old school with a heart punch for two and we hit the nerve hold.

We also get the second and third versions of the hold before Neville fights out of a powerbomb attempt. Some kicks to the head have no effect on Brodus but an AJ Styles springboard forearm put him down. Neville rolls through a 450 but Brodus runs him over with a headbutt. They head outside where Clay misses a splash off the steps, allowing Neville to get a quick countout win at 6:23.

Rating: C-. Not much to see here but the ending leaves the door open for future matches. However, I’m not sure why we need a second match as the first one would have been a good enough win for Neville. The match not being for the title fits what Adrian said and we’ll likely get an attack from Clay to set up a rematch.

Overall Rating: C+. This show was moving out there and it worked far better than the previous few episodes. A few things are set up for the next few weeks and we had some decent matches to get there. I like the idea of fast matches instead of long drawn out ones for a change as it’s a breath of fresh air. Nice show this week and again I have hopes for NXT’s future.

Results
Aiden English b. Colin Cassady – Rollup
Camacho b. Oliver Grey – Samoan drop
Ascension b. Wesley Blake/Cal Bishop – Fall of Man to Blake
Great Khali b. CJ Parker – Punjabi Plunge
Jason Jordan/Tye Dillinger b. Baron Corbin/Sawyer Fulton
Adrian Neville b. Brodus Clay via countout

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We open with an In Memory graphic for Warrior.

Adam Rose vs. Danny Burch

The fans think the party entrance was awesome. Rose prances around the ring to start but gets knocked into the ropes. He leans back and keeps lifting his feet to stop the charging Danny before running him over with some shoulders. Rose cranks on the arm but gets dropped by a single right hand. Adam comes right back with something resembling a Bronco Buster and more prancing, followed by a middle rope elbow for the pin at 2:54. Albert dances post match.

Corey Graves says that was just the beginning.

Sasha Banks vs. Bayley

Sylvester LeFort vs. Mojo Rawley

Rawley crushes him in the corner to start and hits a Rear View followed by Hyperdrive for the pin at 47 seconds. Now THIS is what Rawley should be doing.

We look at the NXT guys at Axxess.

Khali is here and gets a hug from Bayley. CJ Parker comes up and is really hoping Khali recycles. Khali shouts in Punjabi but Bayley translates: the big man wants a match next week.

Justin Gabriel vs. Bo Dallas

They circle each other to start until Justin nails a few cross bodies. A rollup gets a close two and Dallas bails to the floor. The fans want cookies as Dallas comes back in with a headlock. Justin fights up and sends Bo back to the floor again but gets knocked off the top rope. A suplex sets up a cravate from Bo and he sends Justin hard into the corner.

Dallas levels him with a clothesline but gets sent into the corner as well to put both guys down. Gabriel fires off a series of hard strikes and gets two off a springboard cross body. Bo reverses a tilt-a-whirl slam into a reverse DDT for a close two and both guys are winded. A hard kick to the back puts Bo down but he avoids a top rope Lionsault. Justin comes right back with a small package for two but walks into a double arm DDT for the pin at 10:00.

Results

Adam Rose b. Danny Burch – Middle rope elbow

Bayley b. Sasha Banks – Belly to Bayley

Mojo Rawley b. Sylvester LeFort – Hyperdrive

Bo Dallas b. Justin Gabriel – Double arm DDT

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I’m going with Chavo Guerrero.  I’ve watched wrestling for a long time and I can’t remember anyone that made me lose interest faster than Chavo.  His matches are usually good but I just do not care about anything he does or says.  His character is simply “I’m Eddie’s nephew!” which is even less than people like Miz or Alex Riley, the black holes of characters.  Most of the time I can bring myself up to indifference, but Chavo brings me down to a level that no one else is capable of.  Chavo wins this but thankfully he’s gone for now.

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CM Punk vs. Curtis Axel

Post match Bray pops up on screen but blows out the lantern without saying anything.

3MB vs. Usos/R-Truth

Funkadactyls vs. Tamina Snuka/AJ Lee

Alberto Del Rio vs. Great Khali

Khali hits a forearm to the head to start before firing off elbows in the corner. A hard chop to the chest knocks Del Rio out of the ring and Khali sends him into the barricade for good measure. Del Rio kicks the ropes as they come back in to put Khali down, allowing Alberto to stomp away. Alberto cranks on the arm but Khali fights up and kicks Del Rio out of the air. More loud chops in the corner have Alberto in trouble but he grabs an armbreaker over the ropes to stop Khali in his tracks. Khali shoves him out to the floor but gets caught by the enziguri in the corner. The cross armbreaker gets the submission at 5:10.

Daniel Bryan vs. Luke Harper

The beatdown is on but as Bray gets into the ring, Punk comes out for the save.

John Cena vs. Ryback

In a very impressive power display, Ryback gorilla presses Cena over his head for probably fifteen seconds before dropping the champion down onto his face. Cena avoids a charge to send Ryback into the post as we take a break. Back with Cena countering a Boston Crab into an STF attempt but Ryback kicks him away. Ryback chokes Cena with his boot before whipping him hard across the ring for two.

Post match Del Rio comes in to pound away on the arm. After a few moments of that, he actually goes after the bad arm by wrapping it around the post. Cena comes back with some right hands and Del Rio runs to end the show.

Results

CM Punk b. Curtis Axel – GTS

Usos/R-Truth b. 3MB – Little Jimmy to Mahal

AJ Lee/Tamina Snuka b. Funkadactyls – Black Widow to Cameron

Alberto Del Rio b. Great Khali – Cross armbreaker

Daniel Bryan b. Luke Harper via DQ when Erick Rowan interfered

John Cena b. Ryback – Attitude Adjustment

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