Greed
Date: March 18, 2001
Location: Jacksonville Municipal Coliseum, Jacksonville, Florida
Attendance: 5,030
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Scott Hudson

After all that, we’ve come down to this. Seventeen years ago, the first WCW (NWA at the time) super show aired and it was called Starrcade. The main event of that show saw Ric Flair win the NWA World Title from Harley Race in a changing of the guard, only to be challenged by Dusty Rhodes before the show ended as part of a legendary feud that would headline the next two Starrcades. Now it’s a show called Greed and Ric Flair and Dusty Rhodes will be facing off in a featured match with stipulations involving the loser kissing a certain part of the winner. Sometimes wrestling is funny but this is sad. Let’s get to it.

The opening video focuses on Diamond Dallas Page, who is still standing after everything Scott Steiner has thrown at him.

Tony: “If it’s professional wrestling, it must be greed!”

Jason Jett vs. Kwee Wee

Bonus match. Kwee Wee jumps him during his entrance though to be fair Jason was taking his sweet time going around the ring high fiving fans. Jett comes right back and goes to the top to dive onto Kwee Wee and take over. They head inside with Jason grabbing a reverse Boston crab but also pulling Kwee Wee up by the arm. Tony says he’s never seen anything like it but it’s been seen in WCW before, from Konnan I believe.

Kwee Wee gets out and throws Jason to the floor by the hair. That’s a new one, or at least a painful one. Jett charges at him and gets backdropped onto the apron for something like a Tajiri handspring into a DDT onto the floor. Cool spot. Totally contrived looking, but cool. Back in and Jett is backdropped out to the floor for a big crash and it’s time to choke with a cord. As is always the case, Kwee Wee continues to be so far beyond this gimmick that it’s kind of sad.

Kwee Wee covers on the floor, prompting Hudson to mention that the main event is falls count anywhere. I don’t remember that being mentioned anywhere leading up to this show and unfortunately that’s probably the first time it was announced. We hit the chinlock to slow things down a bit (well earned at this point) and we’re told that the falls count anywhere stipulation was indeed added to the main event on the pre-show. Actually make that the END of the pre-show.

I’d be more mad about that if the company had ten days left, or if Jett wasn’t on top for a superbomb that was countered into a super hurricanrana for two. Kwee Wee calls for the piledriver but Jett reverses and hits the Tajiri elbow. The Crash Landing is escaped (I wonder if Kwee Wee’s hair can be used as a flotation device) and Kwee Wee gets two off a northern lights suplex. Jett sends him outside and lays down to play possum, causing Kwee Wee to miss a top rope legdrop. Serves him right to get hurt after not actually doing anything to put Jason down. The Crash Landing gives Jason the pin.

Rating: B+. I don’t know if it’s the low expectations or just being happy that I don’t have another WCW pay per view after this but I dug the heck out of this match. These two were all over the place with big spot after big spot and I wanted to see what they were going to do next. It’s a shame that both guys were basically done after this (save for Kwee Wee wrestling women in TNA) due to not arriving soon enough and having a horrible gimmick.

We recap the Cruiserweight Tag Team Title tournament.

Cruiserweight Tag Team Titles: Elix Skipper/Kid Romeo vs. Kidman/Rey Mysterio

The titles are vacant coming in and Kidman throws a curveball by wearing a gray shirt for a change. That’s WCW’s version of mind games I suppose. Kidman and Romeo start things off with Romeo hitting an Alley Oop of all things to take over. Skipper comes in and slams his partner onto Kidman for two but it’s quickly off to Rey for a springboard legdrop to take over.

They fight up the ramp with Mysterio and Kidman hitting stereo dives off the stage for a good looking spot. Back in and Skipper knees Kidman out to the floor in a crash. Romeo spends too much time chopping though and gets beaten up in the corner, only to have Romeo back with Mysterio’s sitout bulldog. We hit the chinlock for a bit before it’s back to Skipper to choke on the ropes.

Elix takes him to the top until Kidman takes him down with a sitout powerbomb and a round of applause. The hot tag brings in Rey to clean house and send Elix shoulder first into the post. Kidman hits a top rope shooting star to the floor to take out both Romeo and Skipper. Back in and a reverse suplex gets two on Romeo with Skipper making the save. Skipper dragon suplexes Rey into a guillotine legdrop from Romeo with Kidman diving in for a save.

The good guys one up them with a powerbomb into a top rope splash for two on Skipper, followed by the Bronco Buster. It’s nonstop action at this point. Kidman and Skipper head to the floor, leaving Rey to moonsault into the Last Kiss to give Romeo and Skipper the inaugural titles.

Rating: A-. Sweet goodness this show is on fire to start. This was the kind of match you would expect from the previous generation of cruiserweights which didn’t seem to be possible until a few months ago. Outstanding stuff here with four guys flying all over the place to show off for the crowd and make the titles look like something special.

More documentary stuff Buff saying he’s doing this so he can get his face on TV. Basically Flair says they’ll all win tonight. Animal actually talks a bit here, only showing how worthless of a signing he was. Can anyone explain to me why Mike Awesome couldn’t have played the exact same role? Other than giving Animal a payday of course.

We recap Shawn Stasiak vs. Bam Bam Bigelow which has had all of six days’ build. Basically Shawn doesn’t like bald tattooed people and you can figure out the rest for yourself.

Shawn Stasiak vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

Stacy is back in the Miss Hancock gear and I forgot how well that look worked. She introduces the Shawn and Stacy Show with Shawn doing the same horrible insults that didn’t get him over in the first place. Bigelow drives him into the corner to start but Shawn nips up. That is the extent of the comparisons that will be made between Shawn Stasiak and Shawn Michaels.

A shove sends Stasiak outside and that means we need a timeout. Bigelow knocks him to the floor again as this is already horrible. Shawn comes back in with a high cross body and some posing, only to have Bigelow destroy him again for the top rope headbutt. This brings Stacy to the apron for the hair down distraction, allowing Shawn to spray Bigelow in the eyes with some perfume. The neckbreaker puts Bigelow away.

Rating: F. We get two great matches to open the show and then have to sit through the latest attempt to make Shawn Stasiak mean something. It doesn’t help that Stasiak’s offense is move, pose, move, pose, cheat to win with a neckbreaker. We would have been much better off with just having Stacy stand in the ring reciting the alphabet for six minutes instead but that might be too complicated for WCW.

Shawn and Stacy kiss post match.

Cat tells Miss Jones to stay in the back but she won’t stand for it.

Romeo and Skipper put the belts on each other.

We recap Hugh Morrus/Konnan vs. Team Canada which is basically I hit you, you hit me.

Team Canada vs. Hugh Morrus/Konnan

There’s no Canadian national anthem for Storm so we get the dramatic head turn as Hugh Morrus’ music plays instead. It’s a brawl to start (duh) with Awesome and Morrus but it’s quickly off to Storm. Hudson brings up the fact that Storm and Morrus were supposed to have their final battle but “the heat was too great.” The double teaming continues on Morrus with Konnan punching Storm from the apron, only to knock him right into Hugh to prevent the hot tag.

The locker room leaders ladies and gentlemen. Konnan gets the tag a few seconds later but Awesome runs him over a few seconds in to keep the Canadians in control. Morrus gets to play cheerleader as Storm gets beaten down in the wrong corner. Awesome’s clothesline gets two and Konnan’s small package gets the same. A top rope shoulder knocks Konnan into his own corner but thankfully Awesome is smart enough to pull him right back. Storm’s dropkick hits Konnan in the hands so clearly that even the announcers have to acknowledge it.

We hit the chinlock for a bit, followed by the referee missing the hot tag. A piledriver from Awesome sends Konnan back first onto Awesome’s legs but Storm’s awkward looking top rope….something lands on Konnan’s raised boot. That was really weird looking as Storm seemed to be going for a swan dive (not exactly a standard move for him but had to move forward to hit Konnan’s foot. Either way it’s enough for the hot tag to Morrus, only to have Storm superkick him down. Konnan and Storm fight to the floor but Lance is able to break up No Laughing Matter, setting up the Awesome Bomb for the pin.

Rating: D+. The match was longer than it needed to be but this could have been a lot worse. That being said it’s also not any interesting match and I’m also not sure why these teams were fighting in the first place. It also doesn’t help that they weren’t exactly putting in the strongest effort, though it’s kind of hard to blame them at this point.

Dusty Rhodes orders 240 burritos to get ready for his match later. See, if Flair loses he has to kiss Dusty’s….yeah you get the idea.

Buff interviews Rick Steiner, who isn’t sure why Scott is so freaked out. It’s probably Midajah though.

Chuck Palumbo and Sean O’Haire look at something several feet away from the camera as they talk about how they’ll die to keep the Tag Team Titles.

Cruiserweight Tag Team Titles: Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Shane Helms

Chavo is def…..what’s that? Oh WCW put up the wrong graphic because they can’t go five minutes without screwing something up? Let’s try this again.

Cruiserweight Title: Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Shane Helms

Chavo is defending for reasons that the announcers can’t cover because they’re too busy talking about Dusty and his burritos. Ignore them saying the wrong number of burritos because they can’t remember something Dusty said five minutes ago. Chavo beat Shane back in January but Shane has gotten much better (and put on trunks instead of pants) since then and earned another title shot last month.

A headlock gives Chavo early control and a clothesline cuts off Shane’s attempt to increase the pace. Shane gets in a middle rope fist drop for two as the fans aren’t exactly thrilled by this. It’s almost like those two really boring matches killed the crowd’s enthusiasm or something. A high angle t-bone suplex gets two for the champ and it’s off to an STF. The idea they’re going for is Chavo taking away Shane’s rhythm and not letting him get anything going so at least there’s an idea here.

We hit a Muta Lock for a bit before they can’t bridge into a backslide. Shane comes back and sends Chavo outside, only to have the champ slide back in and hit a dive off the top. You don’t see Chavo fly often but he looks good when he does it. Back in and Shane grabs a swinging neckbreaker to put both guys down.

The Sugar Smack knocks Chavo off the apron but he comes right back with a sitout reverse inverted DDT. Helms grabs the Nightmare on Helms Street for two but Chavo crotches him on top, only to pick Shane up instead of cover. Ever the overconfident one, Chavo tries his own Vertebreaker and is promptly reversed into the real thing to give Shane the title.

Rating: B-. This was much more entertaining than good but the important part was the story they told to get here. Shane started off as the unpolished talent and then moved on to become the champion after honing his skills. Chavo was a great champion and more than made the title feel important again but his reign was over and it was Shane’s time. Not a great match but a really good story.

Flair and Jarrett say they’ll win.

Booker T. says he’s coming for the only title he’s never won.

We recap Sean O’Haire/Chuck Palumbo vs. Totally Buff which is your standard new school vs. old school feud. The champs have beaten Luger and Bagwell for weeks now so the signs point to new champions here.

Tag Team Title: Totally Buff vs. Sean O’Haire/Chuck Palumbo

Totally Buff, challenging here, have individual entrances. Before the match we need to hear about Luger and Bagwell getting rid of Goldberg all over again because that hasn’t been touched on enough. The champs come to the ring and it’s a superkick into the Seanton Bomb for the pin to retain in less than a minute. Hudson: “That was a Georgia Championship Wrestling squash!” I guess it takes the company dying to have Luger put someone over this strongly like he should have done two years ago. As glad as I’ll be to see WCW finally finish, I’d still really like to see what they did with O’Haire. That guy had it.

Scott Steiner yells about beating Page tonight.

We recap The Cat vs. Kanyon which started when over Kanyon laying out Miss Jones, attacking her in a hospital and then not being able to stop the angry limo driver, who came off as looking like the big star out of all this thing.

Buff is still down in the ring but gets up pointing at his neck.

The Cat vs. Kanyon

Kanyon goes after Jones again and is sent into the barricade a few times. Apparently Kanyon broke his hand on Monday night (not Tuesday Tony). They head inside for the first time with cat electric chair dropping Kanyon off the ropes but Kanyon starts hitting him with the cast.

That just earns him a powerbomb because a cast shot to the head merely annoys Cat. Kanyon gets two off a top rope clothesline, which Hudson says wasn’t worthy of a cover. The middle rope Fameasser gets the same and we hit the chinlock, followed by a swinging neckbreaker for two. Cat’s superplex gets two and it’s time for the dancing martial arts.

Kanyon can’t do his snap sitout Alabama Slam for some reason so he settles for a Boston crab instead. A Feliner out of nowhere gets two as Kanyon puts his foot on the rope because this match needs to keep going. Kanyon’s cast shot gets two more (that’s a horrible cast) and the referee goes down. Jones comes in and kicks Cat by mistake, only to kick Kanyon away, setting up the Feliner for the pin.

Rating: D. The ending was the only possible choice but that doesn’t mean it was the right way to get there. Kanyon clearly wasn’t trying and you don’t want to have the Cat be the one responsible for carrying a match. Boring match here but at least we got one more appearance from Miss Jones for the road.

Post match Kanyon gives Cat the Flatliner but Smooth comes out to save Jones.

Totally Buff argues over the loss.

Dusty has eaten a lot of burritos and promises it’s going to smell bad. This isn’t funny.

We recap Booker T. vs. Rick Steiner which is really just to give Booker something to do before he can fight Scott for the World Title.

US Title: Rick Steiner vs. Booker T.

Booker is challenging. Rick punches him to the floor to start and sends Booker into the crowd because this is about making Rick look strong. Back in and a Pearl River Plunge gets a delayed two for the champion but Booker grabs an Angle Slam of all things. That’s it for his offense at the moment though as Rick gets in a belly to belly for two. We hit the chinlock because Booker can’t be on offense for more than ten seconds in a row.

It’s also too much to ask for Rick to actually crank on the hold. Booker comes back again and hits the ax kick (now the Ghetto Blaster) but the referee gets kicked by mistake so Rick can take over AGAIN. Cue Shane Douglas to hit Rick with the cast but Rick is fine enough to miss a swing, setting up the Bookend to give Booker the title.

Rating: F. That’s entirely on Rick as Booker wasn’t even on offense for a minute in this whole thing. I don’t know what happened to Rick in the last few years but he has turned into the most selfish worker I’ve ever seen. Booker is one of the best of all time but you have to give him SOMETHING to work with other than a bunch of chinlocks and a beating.

Buff has been laid out and Lex accuses Animal.

We recap the Rhodes Family vs. Ric Flair/Jeff Jarrett. Dustin wouldn’t join the Magnificent Seven so Ric has gone after him. The only option was to bring in Dusty Rhodes because it’s not like there was anyone else they could have gone with here. It’s not like they could have gone with O’Haire, Palumbo, or any of the other young guys. No, they had to have a long feud with Lex Luger and Buff Bagwell remember. I mean, you get a nice nostalgia moment with Dusty and Ric but WCW needs to have people like Flair and Dustin giving what rubs they can to someone at this point, not being the focal points.

Jeff Jarrett/Ric Flair vs. Dustin Rhodes/Dusty Rhodes

Losers have to, shall we say, kiss up to the winners. Flair is wrestling in a Hawaiian shirt for reasons that aren’t quite clear. Actually Ric says he won’t wrestle, which results in Animal being ejected. Jeff jumps Dustin to start but gets punched in the corner several times. Dustin crotches him against the post with Tony saying “the Yellow Rose of Texas.” No real context to that one unless he’s changed Dustin into David Von Erich.

Flair comes in for some chops and it’s off to Dusty for some strutting. Dustin is back in but the Dust Buster is broken up to give the heels control again. Jeff does the sleeper and they go through the standard counter package. It’s time to work on Dustin’s knee but Flair get small packaged for two.

Jeff comes right back in and puts on the Figure Four. That goes nowhere as Dustin escapes and hits a belly to back for the tag to Dusty, who apparently is full of burritos and ready to go. Dusty drops the big elbow for two on Flair and it’s back to Dustin as everything breaks down. Double Figure Fours are broken up and Dustin rolls Flair up for the pin.

Rating: D. I’m not wild on Dustin and Jarrett as the young pups for this match but it was a one off match and fun enough match for what it was. The fans reacted to it and while they would have been better off giving someone young a rub here, it could have been much worse. Also the show needed something much more lighthearted after the string of lame matches that people didn’t want to see.

Ric bails so Jeff has to take a very weak Stinkface from Dusty.

We recap Scott Steiner vs. Diamond Dallas Page with the idea of Page being the last hero standing. Well save for Booker who came back after this match was made.

WCW World Title: Scott Steiner vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Page is challenging, anything goes, and this is falls count anywhere, which was announced less than three hours ago. Midajah is here with Steiner, making her attack on Monday seem a bit pointless. Steiner knocks him outside to start but Page comes back in with a top rope clothesline for two. The champ takes over on the floor and gets in some yelling at fans.

They fight over the Spanish announcers’ table (oh it’s so funny) with Scott breaking a kid’s crutch over Page’s back. The same kid throws Page his other crutch for a shot to Steiner’s back so Page can drive an elbow through a table for two. Back to ringside with Page hitting him in the head with a breakaway plate of some sort for another near fall. A t-bone suplex drops Page and it’s off to the bearhug.

Steiner puts his boot between Page’s shoulders and pulls back on the arms until a DDT plants the champ. Back up and Page gets the Diamond Cutter, only to have Rick Steiner pull out the referee. The bloody Page is put in the Recliner but makes sure to do the Austin in the Sharpshooter pose before reaching the ropes. Some shots to the ribs with a pipe set up another Recliner to knock Page out and retain the title.

Rating: C+. This was a match where they put too much stuff in at the end and it bogged the rest down. Page was as good as you would expect him to be as he’s one of two stable main eventers (the other being Booker T.) for months if not years now. The falls count anywhere stipulation didn’t need to happen but the bloody collapse near the end suited Page well. Shame they can’t follow up on it though.

A recap of the night’s events wrap up the show.

Overall Rating: C. I know the line is that the cruiserweights often carry a WCW show but I never remember it happening to this kind of an extreme. Main event aside, the cruiserweights were the only good things (save for a 54 second squash) on this entire show. The middle portion of this show was an absolute disaster and the best proof you’ll find of how understaffed WCW was around their final few shows. The Cat is treated as a big star, Booker T. gets squashed until he wins off a fluke, Ice Train is a conquering hero, and something about Dusty Rhodes eating burritos.

Now let’s talk about the good for a bit. That opening half hour with the two cruiserweight matches is as good a stretch as WCW has put on in a very, very long time. It’s fast paced, it’s high quality and it’s half of exactly what the show should have opened with. This is a standard problem with WCW: they load most of the exciting matches on the top of the show and then let things die throughout the middle. Swap Cat vs. Kanyon with the Cruiserweight Tag Team Title match and see how much better it feels, if nothing else due to having the titles seem more important.

No matter how you look at it though, that’s the final WCW pay per view and it’s still the same batch of problems that their shows had for a long time, mainly stemming from the talent near the top not being great. I know Dustin is still around today but that doesn’t mean he should be in the second biggest match on a pay per view. This show worked due to how hard the young guys worked but it was just far too little too late.

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There are some extras in here as well.

Greed
Date: March 18, 2001
Location: Jacksonville Municipal Coliseum, Jacksonville, Florida
Attendance: 5,030
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Scott Hudson

So here you are: the final WCW PPV. The company would be bought by Vince in less than a week and Vince would be on Nitro in 8 days. The main event here is more or less inconsequential but it’s DDP vs. Steiner in a falls count anywhere match for the title. I think the company knew it was dead at this point but no one wanted to admit it. The TV slot was about to die and no one cared here but it’s famous in wrestling history since it’s the last WCW show, so let’s get to it.

This was around the time that they stopped calling their shows anything sensible like Souled Out or Uncensored and went with Sin and Greed respectively. What they have to do with this show is never explained but that’s par for the course at this point.

Page says his idea is the Diamond Cutter. Yep that’s it.

The arena looks TINY. Tony says if it’s pro wrestling it must be Greed. What the heck does that even mean?

Kwee Wee vs. Jason Jett

Jett is more commonly known as EZ Money from ECW and would get a solid push in the final weeks of the company where he was fairly awesome. Jett hits a huge plancha immediately and gets the crowd going. It’s amusing to hear the announcers talk about the future of WCW since that would be about 8 days at this point. Jett is more or less awesome so they put him with Kwee Wee who won the Miss TNA pageant in their early days.

He misses a suicide dive and Jett hits a DDT off the apron to continue dominating. Jett gets launched to the floor and Kwee Wee snaps, going into his zone. He gets compared to Thesz for the Press. Kwee Wee morphs into Angry Alan which is his angry side or something like that. Tony says he goes too far because of a reverse chinlock. HE’S SO ANGRY!!!

Apparently Falls Count Anywhere was added earlier tonight. Before then it was just a regular match. Wow and they wonder why they never got any buys. Jett goes for a powerbomb off the top but Wee reverses in mid air into a rana which looked awesome. He’s a lot better than he was built up to be and certainly is here. And now he’s out on the floor. I must have missed something. A top rope elbow misses (Jett played possum and signaled to the fans to be quiet about it which you NEVER see anymore) and the Crash Landing, a release vertical suplex, ends it.

Rating: B. For an opener between two guys you’ll never hear from again, this was a solidopener. The Cruiserweight stuff could have been very good in the next few months given who they had in there that was going well. It also shows the issues of the company as they’re in financial peril and they bring in new guys still. This was a very good and fun match though, so I’d bet it’s also the highlight of the show.

We recap the Cruiserweight Tag Title Tournament which sets up the first title match here.

Cruiserweight Tag Titles: Elix Skipper/Kid Romeo vs. Billy Kidman/Rey Mysterio

Skipper is a Deion Sanders character, even having the same catchphrases. Romeo is a guy that is famous for nothing and dances a lot. I’m sure you know the other two. Also in the tournament was a team called Air Raid, which was comprised of two guys named Air Paris and Air Styles. Air Styles would be in the first match for a company called TNA in 15 months under the name AJ Styles.

Kidman and Romeo start us off with Kidman being far more awesome than Romeo. Then again he went home and screwed Torrie Wilson so that kind of makes it impossible to overcome. I think I was the only person that liked Skipper. Rey’s knees still work here so he’s completely awesome. He’s also unmasked here but he could still move.

We hit the floor and you can really see how small the arena is. The faces hit a pair of running dives off the stage to take out both guys which looked awesome. They add in a double chokeslam (WTF?) on Skipper for two. Romeo is pretty much the arrogant jerk and does really weak covers. Hudson keeps trying to tell us how great these belts are and how important they are which is really funny yet also annoying.

Kidman takes over again with a sitout spinebuster from the middle rope. Hot tag to Rey and he cleans a lot of houses. Romeo hits a dive, leaving Kidman in the ring but he hits a huge dive to take out everyone. Everybody is down on the floor as we kind of stop for a bit. The match more or less breaks down at this point. Skipper has had a bad shoulder for most of the match.

Tiger suplex into a guillotine legdrop gets two on Rey. I thought that would have been it. The faces hit a double team move for two as well. Good freaking night I can’t stand the Bronco Buster. It’s just freaking annoying. Kidman and Skipper go to the floor but back in the ring Romeo hits Emerald Flosion for the pin and the first titles.

Rating: B. Another solid match here as they put both matches that they had that were exciting on first so that the exciting guys didn’t steal the spotlight from the major guys later on. Well why would you do that as it might make people think that these guys are good. This was a good match though with lots of high spots that got the crowd going after they did that just before. This is another thing WCW messed up on: match placement. You have a fast paced opener and then you put this on maybe 4th or so to keep the crowd going or wake them up a bit later. Now they’re spent 35 minutes into the night with over two hours left. It’s simple stuff like that which can make or break a PPV.

Buff Bagwell goes into Flair’s locker room. This is during the Magnificent Seven angle, including the HUGE star of Road Warrior Animal. Flair has spiked hair here too. They’re feuding with Dustin and Dusty Rhodes. See where we’re at here? Someone jumped them last week and they’re mad. This didn’t ever get resolution I don’t think. It’s a documentary of some kind.

Stacy Keibler is dating Shawn Stasiak now and is Ms. Hancock again. Bam Bam Bigelow is mad about having to listen to her complain or something, setting this up.

Shawn Stasiak vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

Oh please make it quick. Stasiak says he’s great and is the Mecca of Manhood apparently. This is the Shawn and Stacy Show and we see why Stasiak never gets to talk. It’s a shame that this match had to happen. We had two very good matches to start us off and then we got to look at Stacy who looks hot like that. And that ends the good stuff here as Bigelow is just WAY past his usefulness at this point.

Is there a reason why this is on a PPV? I know it’s a dark time for the company (ok that’s an understatement) but seriously? Tony keeps calling this The Greed Pay Per View. It’s really weird sounding. We pause to see if Stasiak needs a replacement tooth due to a clothesline. And now he wants a time out. Bigelow hits a dropkick to the thigh or so and we hit the floor again.

Bigelow gives chase this time and we brawl for a bit. Can’t you tell how riveting this stuff is so far? Stasiak hits a top rope cross body but stops to pose. Top rope headbutt kills Stasiak but here’s Stacy to look hot. She throws Stasiak hairspray and a neckbreaker ends it.

Rating: D. Boring match here with nothing of note happening. Again, this is what they went with on PPV? At least Stacy looked good. That’s about all I’ve got as far as good stuff goes here. The match was just boring and never got going or was never good or anything like that. Terrible match but at least it was short.

The Cat is here and his girl is ticked off at Kanyon.

The new Cruiserweight Tag Champions are WAY too happy with their new belts but shake hands before it gets too homosexual.

We kind of recap Team Canada vs. Morrus/Konnan. Yeah whatever.

Team Canada vs. Hugh Morrus/Konnan

Team Canada is Mike Awesome and Lance Storm, since after a lot of months fighting for American, Awesome remembered he was Canadian and joined them. It’s that kind of a company. No anthem plays for Storm and he’s mad about it. Morrus is the laughing man again and no one cares at all. He runs out alone and here comes Konnan like 10 seconds later for no apparent reason.

Awesome and Morrus start and it’s a brawl all the way. Can’t you see how riveting this match is going to be? I didn’t know Konnan had a job at this point actually. The heels do their blind switch which is as basic of a heel tactic as there ever has been. Tony talks about how Morrus and Konnan are locker room leaders. For some reason that comes off as nonsense to me.

Konnan is in trouble now as his team hasn’t had control at all the entire time here. The fans chant USA to get their Mexican guy fighting harder. They stop as I guess they realize their idiocy. Storm misses a dropkick so bad that it just looks awful. Naturally it gets two so at least that wasn’t the end. A piledriver that belonged on a celebrity gets two again as this is just not interesting at all.

Konnan has a cover and doesn’t realize it so he rolls off to tag Morrus in. Awesome Splash gets two as this squash needs to end. An American gives a Canadian a German suplex but can’t hit the moonsault. Storm’s interference lets the running Awesome Bomb end it.

Rating: D+. I’ve seen worse. It’s certainly not great but it could have been worse I guess. Was there supposed to be a point here? If there was I certainly didn’t see it. Storm and Awesome were so painfully wasted in WCW and it’s just pathetic to see so. Total filler here with no point at all.

Dusty and Dustin are getting ready for the kissing match as he has burritos brought in. Yep this is their idea of comedy.

The documentary continues as we talk to the US Champion, Rick Steiner. What does that tell you here?

Palumbo and O’Haire say they’ll keep the tag titles. Luger had been complaining backstage about having to job to these rookies. Keep that in mind.

Cruiserweight Title: Shane Helms vs. Chavo Guerrero

They put the wrong graphic up for the match just to show how inept they were here. Helms and Guerrero were more or less perfect in this division at this time so this should rock. Helms has his own rap song and his own dance team called the Sugar Babies. He’s Sugar Shane Helms if that clears up anything else. He also has a great finisher called the Vertebreaker.

They start off rather slowly with Shane being a fast paced guy and Chavo being more of a Dean Malenko style guy. Very nice technical and mat basted stuff gets us to a standoff. Shane is a heel here I think but it’s not exactly clear. Regal Stretch, which is different than the STFU, by Chavo and Helms is in trouble.

Chavo takes over and apparently he’s the heel. It’s not a good sign when about halfway through this match and I’m just getting that. Huge dive to the floor gets no reaction. I don’t get this crowd: they just don’t seem to care about anything at all and it’s rather annoying. Shane does some basic stuff to take us back to even and both guys are down. Decent match so far.

Shane keeps kicking out and the Tornado DDT is blocked. Nightmare on Helm Street, the Eye of the Hurricane later on, gets two. Top rope cross body gets two in a cool looking move. Shane did it which I left out somehow. Vertebreaker hits on Chavo to let us hear that rap song again as Shane wins the title which I think was the final title change until the WWE stuff.

Rating: C+. Entertaining match but it never clicked to get it up to that top level. This was pretty good here though although the crowd just flat out did not care. I think you can chalk this up to the company just being dead at this point though. The match was good though, but it just never really got off the ground well enough to be very good. Solid use of about 15 minutes though.

Jarrett continues the whole documentary thing by talking to Flair. For some reason I get Sam Malone from Cheers here out of Flair. No connection at all but that’s what I got there.

Booker says he’ll win tonight and get the final title he’s never won.

Like geniuses they show us a wide shot where the upper arena is totally empty.

We recap the feud with Totally Buff vs. Palumbo/O’Haire. The only thing I can tell here is that Luger helped get Palumbo here and now they’re more popular so Luger is mad.

Tag Titles; Totally Buff vs. Chuck Palumbo/Sean O’Haire

It’s Luger and Bagwell as Totally Buff. Luger just looks old and worthless here. Bagwell has to be one of the longest tenured guys in the company at this point. They invoke the name of Goldberg, knowing he’s gone. The champions have techno music here which is kind of odd. It’s a big brawl to start and the champions are dominating. Superkick from Palumbo sets up a pair of Seanton Bombs to end this in less than a minute. This was Luger’s punishment for being a whiny man child like I told you about. Yeah they start punishing guys 5 days before they’re bought. Nice guys. No rating of course but Palumbo looked good in the tights.

Steiner is warming up and yells at Page about everything and is of course is scary here.

We recap Kanyon beating up Cat’s chick Ms. Jones. Also the big black stereotypical bodyguard of Kanyon was involved somehow.

We have to delay the match as Totally Buff is down still. Holy crushing Batman.

The Cat vs. Kanyon

To this day I’m not sure if Miss Jones was hot or not. They start brawling on the stage and Kanyon’s bad hand is worked on. He has a bad hand? Good to know I suppose. I never got the appeal of Miller. He wasn’t a good talker and could only kick. All Cat to start and very limited responses from the crowd. Why did no one call his mama? No one ever did that and I’ve always wondered why. It can’t be hard or anything like that.

Kanyon hits a top rope clothesline to take over as the crowd just does not care. It’s actually really weird to hear them being this silent for almost passable wrestling. They’re not even booing. There is just nothing going on here. There’s action and there’s decent stuff, but at the end I just think so what. What here is going to mean anything? I don’t mean for the company as nothing matters, but this just feels like two guys doing wrestling moves on each other for no apparent reason.

Cat dances and kicks a lot. He has a James Brown elbow. Give me a break. A big kick which may have been his finisher gets two. Kanyon puts his feet on the ropes and gets three but the referee calls it off because of the feet. Rollup for Cat gets two as I want this OVER. Ah ok THERE is the finisher for two.

A cast shot gets two as I am begging for this match to end. Kanyon hits the referee and Miss Jones gets in. She of course accidentally kicks Cat and then fights Kanyon. A big spinning kick from Cat ends it. See what I mean about the whole he can only kick thing? It’s the same issue I have with Kaval but not so bad in the NXT case. Kanyon jumps Miller afterwards and the I guess former Kanyon bodyguard makes the save.

Rating: D. Like I said it was ok from a wrestling perspective but GOOD NIGHT this was boring. I kept watching the whole time and wanted something to care about. Miller was pushed forever in the vain hopes that someone cared about him. This was just twelve more minutes of nothing at all.

Bagwell and Luger argue.

The Rhodes talk about Dusty’s condition after he ate those burritos. Moving on.

Booker was out hurt and came back, challenging for the US Title. He might be hurt. That’s about it.

US Title: Booker T vs. Rick Steiner

Yeah Rick Steiner is the US Champion in 2001. Like I said, you get the idea that things weren’t that good around this time in the company. Booker is thrown into the front row to start the match as Steiner is dominant early. He was known for not selling ANYTHING at this time and it seems that way to start here. Steiner looks weird without the headgear.

Booker lands a few punches and Steiner doesn’t even go backwards. Double Underhook Powerbomb gets two and it’s chinlock time…two and a half minutes in. Steiner kicks him again to stop having to sell. Hey look it’s another rest hold. Booker hits an Angle Slam and Steiner beats him to his feet. A belly to belly gives Rick control back since he has to have it because otherwise….well Steiner wouldn’t have control.

We’re on rest hold #3 in three minutes and 30 seconds. Booker fights out of it and Steiner shrugs off elbows. Even GOLDBERG sold more than this. Forearm and Steiner is up in less than two seconds. He dead weights him on a spinebuster so Booker looks weak as a result. The Axe Kick is called the Ghetto Blaster, which is the name of Bad News Brown’s finisher from back in the day.

Steiner is of course back on offense maybe 5 seconds later with a German suplex. The referee gets bumped and Steiner can’t get a cover since he’s dominating at the time. Shane Douglas pops up and hits Rick with the cast. HE DOESN’T EVEN FALL DOWN. He swings but winds up in the Book End (Rock Bottom) for the pin. This gave Booker every heavyweight title in the company.

Rating: D-. That’s out of pity for Booker. Total and complete lack of professionalism from Steiner here as he was knocked back maybe a total of 3 inches by about ten punches from Booker. He wouldn’t even sell a cast to the back of the head. This was ridiculous to say the least and Booker did everything he could here but there was no way this was going to be passable. Just an awful match, but Steiner is the vast majority of the problem here.

Buff is in Steiner’s locker room and is out cold. Animal is looking down at him and Luger suggests it was Animal. Pretty sure the attacker’s identity was never revealed.

We recap the Rhodes vs. Flair/Jarrett feud. This included a Dusty imitation by Jarrett which is like a requirement to be a pro wrestler. They just don’t like each other with no real explanation.

Dusty Rhodes/Dustin Rhodes vs. Jeff Jarrett/Ric Flair

The losers have to kiss up to the winners shall we say.  Flair is in a Hawaiian shirt as we talk about burritos. Something tells me this is going to be a comedy match minus the comedy. Animal is here too. Dusty’s music is a cover/parody of his WWF music of all things. Uh…sure why not. Jarrett is fighting on his own apparently. Ok never mind no he won’t be. Animal gets thrown out before we get started.

Dustin TOWERS over his dad. Jarrett and Dustin start us off. The faces are of course dressed in cowboy stuff since that’s all they can wear. Let the crotch grabbing begin! Flair comes in and beats up Dustin for a bit as we wait for the hot tag to the guy in the mid-50s. Dusty comes in and gets a standing ovation. Yeah Flair vs. Dusty, the main event of Starrcade EIGHTY FOUR is the biggest thing of the night. That’s a horrible sign for a wrestling company.

Dusty cleans house before Dustin comes in. Shattered Dreams is blocked by a low blow. It’s called the Dust Buster here to continue making my head hurt. Jarrett goes after the knee since everyone has to use a Figure Four. And there it is. Dusty of course does nothing about it because that would be naughty. Both guys get tags after the hold is broken and Dusty cleans house.

Dusty’s big elbow gets two. Flair shouts NO but doesn’t roll out of the way or anything like that. I guess that would make too much sense or something. A pair of low blows and the heels go for a double figure four, which fails. Dustin manages to screw up a small package but pins Flair anyway. Post match Dusty drops his pants and kind of does a Stinkface but it’s awful. Can we move on please?

Rating: D-. Somehow this was better than the previous few matches. Dusty is the high spot of the show though and that’s never a good sign. It says that no one buys the young guys and would rather see the old guys from like 15 years ago. It’s the worst thing you can have and the idea is to have the old guys put the young guys over. WCW never got that but whatever. Match sucked.

Recap of Steiner vs. everyone. Steiner has eliminated all of the faces but DDP so that’s his goal tonight.

WCW World Title: Diamond Dallas Page vs. Scott Steiner

Steiner is the young guy here at 38. Falls Count Anywhere and it’s No DQ. They’ve remixed DDP’s music here because a catchy theme song simply wasn’t needed. Slugout to start and Page wins early. Top rope clothesline for two. They brawl to the announce table and Steiner takes over. Now we’re in the crowd. The falls counting anywhere is a good stipulation here as it makes the brawling seem important. There’s a brawl by the Spanish Announce Table. Sure why not.

Steiner steals a crutch from a kid wearing a DDP shirt and shoves him down. How appropriate. Page puts him through a table for two. There’s a trash can with trash in it. There’s a new one. Steiner shoves a “fan” and steals something from him to hit DDP in the head. No clue what it was but it looked like a vinyl record. This is an ok match but it’s not a classic or anything.

We hit the fifth belly to belly because we need like 9 in a Steiner match. Page hits some punches to come back as we have to be close to the ending here. Feet on the ropes gets two for Scott. NICE jumping DDT for Page gets no count but a sign for the Cutter. Diamond Cutter hits on the second attempt but Rick Steiner makes the save. AIR PAGE as he dives over the top to take out Rick.

The referee goes down but gets a two on a rollup by Page. Down goes the referee again and a belt shot makes Page bleed for two and a BIG pop from the crowd on the kick out. And here’s a Boston Crab. Ok then. Page is WAY busted. The horrible chinlock doesn’t work so Rick punches Page again. It’s a No DQ match so why does the referee have to be distracted? Lead pipe shots to Page sets up another Recliner to end it.

Rating: C. Not bad here as it was just a big old brawl for the most part. I have no idea what the booking was supposed to do as there were no faces left for Steiner as he beat Booker for the title and everyone else was gone. This wasn’t much of a match as it was really just a big and long fight. Still good though as Page had the crowd behind him. Can we get Rick shot now though so we don’t have to see him again?

Overall Rating: D+. Well, it didn’t suck. That’s certainly true as there were two very good matches to start and a good main event. In between though….eh it wasn’t that bad I guess. The Cruiserweight match was ok and there was some other decent stuff in here also. The kissing match was AWFUL as was a lot of the other stuff. It’s more good than bad, but not by much at all. I liked it and it went by quickly so that’s a good thing. This wasn’t terrible, but given that they were done in 8 days it really doesn’t mean much. Not worth seeing although the first two matches are good.