Wrestlemania V
Date: April 2, 1989
Location: Trump Plaza, Atlantic City, New Jersey
Attendance: 18,946
Commentators: Jesse Ventura, Gorilla Monsoon

It’s back to the same arena as last year for an even longer show. Yes after the marathon that was Wrestlemania IV, this show is actually a bit longer despite there being no tournament. The main event scene is really just a sequel to last year’s match though so the same setting makes sense. Let’s get to it.

WWF Women’s Champion Rockin Robin (half sister of Jake Roberts) sings America the Beautiful and does a decent job. Jesse of course isn’t impressed and doesn’t bring up Donald Trump in the front row again this year.

King Haku vs. Hercules

This is as high as Haku ever got on his own as succeeded Race as the King due to Race’s injuries. This isn’t for the crown though and Hercules is now a face (Heenan had tried to sell him to DiBiase, who referred to Hercules as a slave. This didn’t sit well and Hercules claimed that he was his own man) in powder blue trunks. Haku jumps him from behind to start but Hercules comes back by throwing Haku into the air and just letting him crash to the mat.

Heenan’s advice doesn’t do Haku much good as Hercules drops some elbows but stops to walk around. A second Heenan distraction works a bit better though and Haku gets in some cheap shots to take over. Back in and we hit a bearhug on Hercules to fill in some time but he breaks free and gets two off a cross body. Some clotheslines set up something from the top but Haku gets up a good looking superkick to knock Hercules silly. Back up and Hercules grabs a belly to back suplex but rolls his shoulder up to pin Haku at 6:53.

Rating: D+. Not the worst match here but this was a strange choice for an opener. I mean did they really think that it made sense to push Hercules as something special? At the time they were actually pushing him as a third Mega Power, which meant “the guy that would take a fall in a six man” but it was really just in name only. This was a pretty pedestrian power match but that superkick to stop Hercules was a nice touch. Haku always had a good superkick and it was cool to see him use it, even in a nothing match like this.

The latest pretty boy tag team called the Rockers refer to themselves tag team specialists and say they’re ready for the Twin Towers (Akeem, formerly known as the One Man Gang and now a dancing African along with the 6’6 380lb Big Boss Man).

Rockers vs. Twin Towers

The Rockers are hungover beyond belief here. Boss Man goes after Marty (Jannetty, partner of Shawn Michaels in case you don’t know the Rockers) and gets decked by Shawn from behind. Shawn punches Akeem to get the big man’s attention before doing the same thing to the Boss Man. The Rockers start in on Akeem’s arm but he throws Marty into a bearhug from Boss Man and adds a standing splash to crush Jannetty between the two of them.

More splashes connect and the Towers’ manager Slick says they need a black referee. Why he wants this isn’t clear but he was shouting it pretty loudly. Marty finally avoids a charge to send the Towers together and Shawn gets the tag to help double team Akeem. They whip him across the ring over and over before a double shoulder gets two. It finally gets down to one on one and Akeem just ends Shawn with one of the hardest clotheslines I’ve ever seen. Jesse: “I think he irritated Akeem!”

Boss Man misses his top rope splash though and the Rockers double dropkick Akeem to the floor. They mostly miss stereo missile dropkicks to Boss Man and everything breaks down with Boss Man catching a diving Shawn in a spinning powerbomb. That awesome landing isn’t enough so it’s Air Africa (running splash) from Akeem for the pin at 8:05.

Rating: C+. This was fun for how well the Rockers bumped for the monsters here. That clothesline and the powerbomb to Shawn were particularly awesome as Shawn looked dead off both moves. The Twin Towers had just come off feuding with Hogan/Savage but for some reason it never led to the Tag Team Titles or even a serious shot at them.

DiBiase loves getting to be around the rich people in Atlantic City, even if he’s wrestling a commoner like Brutus Beefcake.

Ted DiBiase vs. Brutus Beefcake

DiBiase’s Million Dollar Title (he couldn’t win the WWF World Title so he made his own) isn’t on the line because Brutus hasn’t earned a shot. Ted shakes hands with Trump before coming in and Donald seems intrigued by the belt. Brutus has his awesome theme music now and it makes his entrance a lot better. Virgil stays in the ring for the first minute or so of the match while DiBiase talks trash to Beefcake.

Brutus gets tired of waiting and backdrops DiBiase out to the floor, followed by some slams and a clothesline to put him right back to the floor. This really hasn’t been a good return to Wrestlemania for DiBiase. He’s already gone from the main event to the third match on the card and now he’s getting beaten up.

Back in and even more right hands stagger Ted until Virgil trips Brutus to give the boss an opening. A middle rope elbow gets two for DiBiase and a suplex sets up the Million Dollar Dream. Brutus grabs the rope and makes his comeback, sending Ted face first into the buckle ten straight times. DiBiase finally knocks Brutus to the floor where Virgil gets in a few shots. Ted follows and they brawl to a double countout at 9:57.

Rating: D+. Well that happened. There wasn’t much of a story to this one and they just did moves to each other for about ten minutes. It’s strange as these two would work well together with Brutus’ great charisma being able to power a sweet comeback. Brutus was never great but the fans loved him and he was adequate enough to work a passable and fun match. Unfortunately that wasn’t the case here but at least they tried.

Post match Brutus cleans house with the hedge clippers to claim a moral victory. As usual, Jesse is on point by calling that assault with a deadly weapon.

Earlier today the Bushwhackers were at the annual Wrestlemania brunch and ate a lot. This isn’t particularly funny.

Fabulous Rougeau Brothers vs. Bushwhackers

The Rougeaus are now managed by Jimmy Hart and All American Boys from Memphis. Butch trips on the way to the ring (to be fair the aisle has steps) and Jesse accuses Gorilla of being drunk in the casino the other night. The Bushwhackers steal Jimmy’s jacket but the Rougeaus save it from being destroyed. So they are good for something. Jimmy gets inside to collect his jacket and gets crushed between the brothers to send him right back to the floor.

Luke and Raymond officially get going as Gorilla questions the Rougeaus being Americans just because they moved here. Jesse: “So as far as you’re concerned, tear down the Statue of Liberty?” That escalated quite quickly. The brothers double team to take over as Butch is being forced out of the ring and we get to the bizarre part of the match (yes the bizarre part of a Bushwhackers’ match). Raymond lifts Luke up for a slam and Luke intentionally rubs Raymond’s crotch. His hand moves up and down multiple times and that’s all it could have been. I’m guessing it was a rib but it’s quite the jarring visual.

Jacques puts on an abdominal stretch and Raymond flips in over the top for a superkick to Luke’s ribs. They stop to pose though, allowing Luke to crawl over to tag Butch, setting up the Battering Ram (Butch holds Luke’s head and drives him into the ribs) and a double stomach breaker to pin Raymond at 5:09.

Rating: D-. This was a comedy match minus most of the comedy. The Bushwhackers are the definition of a comedy team for kids and there’s nothing wrong with that. These teams feuded for the better part of ever and it was the same result almost every time. You could have cut this out and no one would have missed a thing. Well Raymond might have without that slam but I don’t want to think about that anymore.

The Bushwhackers lick interviewer Sean Mooney on their way up the aisle. Mooney: “Words cannot describe what it’s like to be licked by a Bushwhacker.” I speak from experience to agree with him.

Mr. Perfect vs. Blue Blazer

This is the debut of Perfect’s trademark singlet. Perfect trips on the same step that got Butch. Blazer is Owen Hart in a mask, meaning this has potential to be really good. Feeling out process to start with Perfect taking him into the corner and slapping him right in the mask. Blazer will have none of that and dropkicks Perfect over the top with Perfect doing his awesome bumping to get outside. A baseball slide (nowhere near common yet) staggers Perfect even more and there’s a second dropkick to put him down again.

Blazer’s top rope splash hits knees and Perfect finally gets a breather. These are quite the high spots for 1989. A reverse chinlock doesn’t get Perfect anywhere and Blazer gets two off a belly to belly. Blazer’s crucifix gets a VERY close two but Perfect just blasts him in the face with a forearm. The PerfectPlex ends Blazer at 5:51 and keeps Perfect’s record spotless.

Rating: C+. Good match here but they could have done something really special with more time and a more main event style. Blazer was an excellent high flier (especially for this time) and Perfect was already looking like a polished veteran. It’s not great but this was a fun match while it lasted.

Jesse is presented to the crowd for the third year in a row. For some reason Gorilla is surprised and says he was set up for this one.

Yesterday, Mr. Fuji ran a 5K in a tuxedo and snappy bowler hat while barely breaking a sweat. This is to prove that he’s ready for the handicap match for the Tag Team Titles at Wrestlemania as they try to make this mean something.

Run-DMC performs the Wrestlemania Rap. Was Gladys Knight busy this year?

We recap Demolition vs. the Powers of Pain (Warlord/Barbarian) which started back at the Survivor Series. Mr. Fuji turned on Demolition to join the Powers of Pain, leading to a title match at the Main Event. Fuji threw salt in Ax’s eyes for the DQ, which somehow resulted in the Powers of Pain getting a rematch here in a 3-2 handicap match where Fuji can help his team win the titles.

Demolition is ready to beat up Fuj the Stooge.

Tag Team Titles: Demolition vs. Powers of Pain/Mr. Fuji

Demolition is defending but Fuji isn’t the worst addition to the challengers. It’s not that well known but he spent more days as a member of the World Tag Team Champions than anyone in company history at over two and a half years holding half of the titles. He’s 53 here and was a champion as recently as 1982 so it’s not like he hasn’t been out there in 20 years. Fuji throws his salt and bows before we’re ready to go.

Warlord and Ax get things going with Ax taking over and quickly handing it off to Smash for an early neck crank. Gorilla calls the challengers a mongrel team. Demolition is a pair of brawlers but the Powers of Pain are mongrels? That’s quite the stretch Monsoon. Barbarian comes in but gets elbowed in the face three times in a row for his efforts. It’s all Demolition to start until Barbarian chops Smash down to the mat in a pretty rare sight. Warlord comes back in and is immediately double clotheslined but Ax makes the mistake of going after Fuji to change control for the first time.

Fuji comes in for a chop and a falling headbutt which looked a little bit low. Slow stomping ensues, which you have to expect from guys like this. Fuji actually goes up top and misses a…..I’m not sure if it was a legdrop or an elbow and it’s Smash coming in to clean house for some polite applause. Everything breaks down and Fuji throws salt in Warlord’s eyes by mistake, setting up the Demolition Decapitator (backbreaker/middle rope elbow combination) to pin Fuji and retain the titles at 8:55.

Rating: D. Boring match but it was two teams who wrestled the same style which almost never works. Fuji being in there was a nice way to keep the Powers of Pain from getting pinned, probably to allow for house show rematches. Still though, nothing to see here and the fans have made no secret about the fact that they’re just sitting around waiting for Hogan vs. Savage.

Tony Schiavone (he had a pot of coffee for the company in the late 80s and early 90s) is thrown out of Savage’s locker room as the champ shouts that he’s ready for Hogan.

Dino Bravo vs. Ronnie Garvin

Garvin is a brawler who didn’t do much in the company. Before the match, we have to pause for the return of Jimmy Snuka. It has nothing to do with the match but he’s back after nearly four years away. Totally pointless cameo that makes me think it wasn’t meant to air here.

Bravo attacks from behind and forearms Garvin in the back as Gorilla and Jesse argue over how strong Bravo really is. A kick to the chest gets two for Dino and even Jesse rips on Bravo for thinking that would get the pin. Garvin suddenly starts his comeback with a bunch of right hands (his finisher back in the NWA) and a sleeper but Bravo is right in the corner. A sunset flip gets two for Ronnie but he walks into the side suplex for the pin at 3:55.

Rating: D. This would have been a lame match on Superstars and it makes Wrestlemania? Like I said, so much of this card feels like they’re trying to fill in time and that really shouldn’t be happening on the biggest show of the year. This easily could have been cut off to save about six minutes and keep the crowd from getting so bored.

Garvin beats up Frenchy Martin because he’s a sore loser.

Brainbusters vs. Strike Force

The Brainbusters (Gorilla: “Two really tough dudes!”) are Arn Anderson and Tully Blanchard with Heenan in their corner. Strike Force has been inactive for a long time due to Martel being injured but he begged Tito to reform the team. Blanchard starts with Martel and Arn is cheating just a few seconds in with a knee to the back. Everything breaks down and stereo dropkicks put the Busters on the floor.

Back in and Martel takes Anderson, the power of the team, to the mat in a test of strength. Blanchard fights up but Tito gets in a blind tag to put Tully in a Figure Four. Martel puts Anderson in one as well but the threats of a disqualification breaks them up. Strike Force tries another blind tag but Santana’s flying forearm hits Martel by mistake, knocking him out to the floor.

The Busters take over on the distracted Santana but he gets two off a middle rope cross body. Arn puts him back down with a knee in the corner as Martel is still shaken up by the forearm. Tito slams Anderson off the top (that might have been a mini tribute to Flair) and goes for the tag but Martel drops to the floor and walks out. So Tito is alone against the Brainbusters and this doesn’t bode well. The yet to be named spinebuster plants Tito, who is still looking over at the empty corner. A spike piledriver puts Tito out of his misery at 9:13.

Rating: C+. Fun match here which was more of a way to set up the Martel vs. Santana feud which went on for well over a year. It’s a simple story and a great way for Martel to look like a jerk, which made for a solid heel turn. The Brainbusters were going to become a much bigger deal and would finally end Demolition’s title reign by the end of the summer.

Martel says he’s tired of carrying Santana, who has always been holding him back. Gene is livid over Martel’s actions. Like more livid than he is on a day to day basis.

It’s time for Roddy Piper’s big return with a live Piper’s Pit. Fink gives Piper a big introduction but we get Brother Love (a heel character who parodied TV evangelists of the 80s) in a kilt instead. Love says his guest is brother Rodney and we get an outstanding Piper impression as Love plays both host and guest. This doesn’t last long so Love brings out the real guest: loudmouthed talk show host Morton Downey Jr. who was a forerunner to Jerry Springer and chain smoked (cigarettes, which Gorilla calls weed).

After a few insults from Downey, here’s the real Piper to wake the fans up. Piper starts asking Love questions but won’t let him answer because he didn’t want to know that badly. He makes fun of Love’s red face but Love stands up to him. Love: “You can’t scare me!” Piper: “WAH!” Guess what happens. Piper brings up all the gifts that DiBiase has given Love and thinks Love is wearing a fake Rolex. Downey throws cigarettes at Piper as Roddy asks if Love is any part Scottish. If he is, there shouldn’t be anything under that dress.

They argue over who is wearing a dress and who is wearing a kilt with Piper threatening to bite Love’s face off if Love touches Piper’s kilt. Piper rips Love’s kilt off to reveal red underwear and Love bails. So it’s just Piper vs. Downey now and Morton starts blowing smoke in Piper’s face, which Piper doesn’t approve of. Piper asks why Morton Downey Jr.’s father isn’t named Morton Downey so Morton implies he slept with Piper’s mother. Apparently Morton used to have a bunch of warts on his face but he gave them to a homeless warthog. Piper: “I didn’t know your girlfriend was homeless.”

Downey does his ZIP IT catchphrase and they just keep going. Fan: “THIS IS STUPID!” Downey thinks Piper is a transvestite and blows even more smoke. He says it’s healthy and that Piper could live as long as Downey could (Downey would eventually die of lung cancer). Piper asks for a cigarette of his own but instead sprays Downey with a fire extinguisher. This ran nearly SIXTEEN MINUTES or longer than any Wrestlemania match to date. It’s also aged horribly as Downey’s show would be canceled by the end of the summer.

Preview of Hulk Hogan’s cult classic movie No Holds Barred.

Donald Trump thinks this has been a great event for the Trump Organization and that the casinos have been doing very well. Sean Mooney sounds incredibly nervous here.

Jesse is LIVID that Hogan is invading Hollywood. He’s so mad that he looks at the wrong camera when he starts ranting about how scared Hogan is of Savage. Hogan can drive Jesse’s limo in Hollywood and Jesse storms off, only to return about ten seconds later.

We’re in intermission if that’s not clear.

Long recap of the Mega Powers forming and splitting to get us to the main event. Like I said, Hogan was taking a bit too much of the spotlight, including getting the win at Survivor Series after Savage did most of the work. It was finally too much for Savage and he snapped to set up the Mega Powers exploding.

Hogan can’t believe we’re here just a year after it all started. He should have been able to see it coming though as Savage just wasn’t ready to handle the pressure. Savage made Hogan believe that he believed in Hogan’s demandments (train, say your prayers and eat your vitamins) and that he was in Hogan’s corner. That line right there sums up why Savage is pretty justified: why should the WWF World Champion be in Hogan’s corner and have to follow Hogan’s rules? As I said for Wrestlemania III: Hogan only has himself to blame for so many of his problems.

Hogan isn’t done yet as he talks about Trump sending a team of scientists to check the arena’s foundation because the people in the building might be swallowed by the earth. What is up with Hogan worrying about the world falling apart whenever he’s in Trump Plaza? That’s two years in a row now. Anyway, he wants Savage at his best and promises to take the title back.

Jake Roberts vs. Andre the Giant

Big John Studd returned around the beginning of the year and is guest referee here. As you can probably guess, Andre’s career hasn’t done so well lately as his mounting injuries have pretty much rendered him to limited appearances and little more. The idea here is Andre is terrified of snakes, much like so many of Jake’s opponents. That’s rather evil of Jake but we’ve already established that heroes can be horrible people in the world of wrestling.

Andre jumps Jake to start and sends him face first into an exposed buckle, which lost its padding somewhere during the entrances. Somehow being sent into the exposed buckle by ANDRE THE GIANT doesn’t even knock Jake to the mat. Jesse thinks Jake is cunning but he’s in there with a giant. Gorilla: “Didn’t you ever hear the story of David?” Jesse: “Sure. He used a foreign object.” Point to Ventura. Andre gets him into the corner and crushes him with the power of fat.

Heenan yells insults as Andre stands on Jake’s chest. Jake slugs away and knocks Andre into the ropes for the tie up but Heenan gets the Giant’s arm’s loose for some choking. Andre tries a shoulder in the corner but “catches a short knee” and staggers backwards, even though Jake never moved his leg. To this day I’m still not sure what happened there. A big chest bump knocks Jake to the floor but Studd won’t let him bring the snake inside. Andre and Studd get in a fight and here’s DiBiase to steal the snake, triggering their feud. Jake chases him off as Andre chokes Studd and that’s a DQ at 9:40.

Rating: D. These matches are feeling longer and longer, even if it’s a bigger match like this one. Jake was an act that people never got tired of, even if he was eternally stuck in the midcard. Andre was into sad territory here as he could barely move and was really just shouting and using his fat instead of doing anything of value.

Jake catches DiBiase and brings in the snake to clear the ring.

Sean Mooney gives us a worthless report from the cheap seats.

Sensational Sherri is going to take the Women’s Title back from Rockin Robin and hopes Elizabeth gets hurt in the main event. That’s just evil.

Honky Tonk Man/Greg Valentine vs. Hart Foundation

Honky Tonk, now firmly down the card after losing the Intercontinental Title at the first Summerslam, gets beaten up by Hart to open things up. Valentine comes in and gets dropkicked as well, followed by Neidhart’s slingshot shoulder for two. It’s back to Bret who walks into a backbreaker as the bad guys finally over. A kind of fireman’s carry suplex and some elbows from Honky Tonk have Bret in trouble as Jesse calls Pat Patterson a relic of the past.

There’s the Shake Rattle and Roll but it’s off to Valentine for the Figure Four instead of a cover. Bret easily breaks out of the hold and cross bodies Honky Tonk, only to fall out to the floor. Back in and Bret loads up an O’Connor roll on Greg but runs over for the tag to Neidhart instead of covering. That’s rather smart and something you would only expect from someone like Bret. The Harts take over and Bret starts with the prototype of the Five Moves of Doom. Everything breaks down and Neidhart throws in Jimmy’s megaphone for a shot to Honky Tonk’s shoulder for the pin at 7:39.

Rating: C. Totally meaningless filler match here but at least it wasn’t bad for a change. The Harts were still finding their groove as a face team, including not blatant cheating with foreign objects to beat a thrown together team like this. We’ll be seeing Valentine and Honky Tonk together as an actual team later on.

We recap Ultimate Warrior vs. Rick Rude, which started in a pose down at the Royal Rumble. Rude was about to lose so he attacked Warrior with an exercise bar. Warrior wasn’t pleased and this is the result.

Intercontinental Title: Ultimate Warrior vs. Rick Rude

Warrior won the title at Summerslam in a big surprise and has been dominant ever since. Rude tries to jump him at the bell but his knee hits Warrior’s belt. To be fair, Rude didn’t get smart until he went to WCW. Warrior LAUNCHES him across the ring over and over before throwing on a bearhug. Some fingers to the eyes break the hold and Rude comes off the top with a missile dropkick of all things for two.

Warrior comes right back with another bearhug and the referee is even nice enough to stop Rude from poking the eyes again. Rude gets out off something we missed because the camera was on Heenan and a piledriver gets a very delayed cover. The kickout is a lot weaker this time and Rude follows up with a jawbreaker.

Rude cranks on both arms at once but Warrior makes the ropes and shoves Rude away. The champ throws him into the corner a few times but misses a splash. He’s still able to break up the Rude Awakening though and Rude is in trouble. Warrior knocks him to the floor for a suplex but Heenan trips Warrior up so Rude falls on top, leaving Bobby to hold the foot down to give Rick the pin and the title at 9:41. That’s Warrior’s first loss and somehow that’s Heenan’s first title as a manager in the WWF.

Rating: B. This was a pairing that never made sense as neither guy was known as the best in ring performer on their own but they meshed together very well and produced some good stuff. Rude was still goofy and Warrior was still insane so this was a major upset and big surprise all around. Good match too.

Warrior beats Heenan up because he’s a sore loser.

Bad News Brown vs. Jim Duggan

Just a brawl here. Duggan slugs away to start and clotheslines Brown out to the floor. Back in and it’s Brown’s turn to hammer on Duggan but the shots to the head have no effect on Jim. The Ghetto Blaster misses though and Brown rolls outside to grab a chair. Duggan gets his 2×4 and it’s a double DQ at 3:45.

Rating: D. This could have been fun if it wasn’t at Wrestlemania. Instead it’s yet another way to fill in time before the match on the show that everyone wanted to see. Thankfully they kept this short but that doesn’t mean it has any business actually taking place. Bad stuff here that could have been a fun garbage brawl.

Duggan hits him with the 2×4 to send Brown staggering away. The announcement of the double DQ crushes the crowd all over again.

Red Rooster can’t wait to beat up Bobby Heenan and it’s going to be a great day in the barnyard. The idea is Rooster is a walking chicken who used to be managed by Heenan. Bobby said he could take anyone to success, even someone as untalented as Rooster. I think you can piece the rest together yourself.

Red Rooster vs. Bobby Heenan

Heenan can barely walk after the beating from Warrior. Right hands, Heenan misses a charge and hits the post, Rooster pins him in 30 seconds.

Post match the Brooklyn Brawler comes in but gets beaten up by Rooster. This is really the last match before the main event at WRESTLEMANIA.

Elizabeth says she’ll be in a neutral corner for the main event. All she hopes is that neither man is injured.

Tony Schiavone says the locker room has all gone into the arena to watch the match.

Sean Mooney polls fans on who is going to win. My goodness ENOUGH FILLER ALREADY.

WWF World Title: Randy Savage vs. Hulk Hogan

Savage is defending and comes out first. Elizabeth gets her own entrance. Jesse sums it up very well by saying “This is truly what the term main event was invented for. This is the MAIN EVENT.” Savage bails to start and poses on the corner. Hogan easily shoves him down and it’s time to stall some more.

The announcers get into a heated argument over how important Elizabeth really is until Hogan shoulders Savage to the floor where he hides behind Elizabeth. Jesse: “With what Elizabeth has pulled, a punch in the nose might be what she needs.” Back in and Hogan gets technical (huh???) to take Savage down into a front facelock. Some right hands are more Hogan’s style but Savage snaps him throat first across the top rope for two.

We hit the armbar from the champ but Hogan fights up and uses the trunks to pull Savage to the floor. Back in and Hogan drops a bunch of elbows for two but Savage pulls him into a chinlock. Hulk has a cut over his eye and Savage knees him into the buckle for two, even with a handful of trunks. Hogan fights up again and just slams Savage over the top to the floor.

Randy wants nothing to do with Elizabeth’s help so he pulls Hogan to the floor and posts him. Now Elizabeth goes to check on Hogan and gets ejected to make it one on one. Savage ax handles Hogan throat first into the barricade followed by a knee drop for two. With that not working, Savage just chokes him down instead. The top rope elbow gets two and it’s time to Hulk Up. The three punches set up the big boot and the legdrop to give Hogan the title back at 17:54.

Rating: B. It’s a good match but there was no way they were going to be able to live up to the hype they had created for this. This was one of the biggest matches of all time and there was really no way they could get much higher than they did here. I can accept Hogan winning for the safe move and the good feeling, but can you imagine if Savage had cheated to win (maybe involving Elizabeth somehow) and kept the title until Summerslam? Still though, I understand why they did this as it wasn’t exactly a time when heels could get the last laugh of a major show.

A lot of posing and raving from Jesse take us out.

Overall Rating: D-. This is by far the worst Wrestlemania to date and in the running for the worst of all time. I understand the idea of a one match card but they weren’t even trying to do anything more than fill in time. Look at some of these matches and tell me which ones deserved to be on here aside from the main event. You have Andre vs. Roberts, the Intercontinental Title and Tag Team Title matches, and maybe the Brainbusters vs. Strike Force.

In other words, about two thirds of this show ranges from worthless to not needing to be on the card. The main event is good but there’s no way they could make up for the disaster that was the rest of the show. It’s way too long, not any good most of the time, and a show that only needed to be about one match. Throw in the WAY too long Piper segment and this was a disaster. Absolutely horrible show.

Ratings Comparison

Hercules vs. King Haku

Original: C-

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: D+

Twin Towers vs. Rockers

Original: C

2013 Redo: C

2015 Redo: C+

Brutus Beefcake vs. Ted DiBiase

Original: D+

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: D+

Bushwhackers vs. Fabulous Rougeau Brothers

Original: D-

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D-

Mr. Perfect vs. Blue Blazer

Original: B-

2013 Redo: C+

2015 Redo: C+

Demolition vs. Powers of Pain/Mr. Fuji

Original: C-

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

Dino Bravo vs. Ronnie Garvin

Original: F

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

Brain Busters vs. Strike Force

Original: B-

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: C+

Jake Roberts vs. Andre the Giant

Original: D

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

Hart Foundation vs. Honky Tonk Man/Greg Valentine

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: C

Rick Rude vs. Ultimate Warrior

Original: B

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: B

Jim Duggan vs. Bad News Brown

Original: F

2013 Redo: D-

2015 Redo: D

Red Rooster vs. Brooklyn Brawler

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

Hulk Hogan vs. Randy Savage

Original: C+

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D-

It just keeps getting worse.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/12/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-5-hogan-vs-savage-and-thats-about-it/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/14/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-v-the-first-wrestlemania-sequel/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Wrestlemania IV
Date: March 27, 1988
Location: Trump Plaza, Atlantic City, New Jersey
Attendance: 18,165
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Jesse Ventura

DiBiase’s master plan isn’t over yet and we’ll be seeing it put into effect as the night goes on. However, the tournament plans have been drastically changed since they were originally put together. We’ll take a look at what was changed and why as we move on but you should be able to figure most of it out already. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is a bit more modern this year as it’s a slot machine spitting out coins followed by the Wrestlemania IV logo. It’s very fitting in Atlantic City and a nice change of pace from the basic yet effective openings of the previous shows.

The roof has these really cool blue and red stripes as their main design. I always thought those looked awesome.

Gene brings out Gladys Knight to sing America the Beautiful. I’m not entirely sure why she’s covered in patches and looks like she has about a dozen sponsors but I’ve seen stranger things.

Bob Uecker is here again and is doing commentary on the first match. He’s probably the best celebrity commentator they’ve ever had so I have no issue with this.

Battle Royal

Bret Hart, Jim Neidhart, Jim Powers, Paul Roma, Sika, Danny Davis, B. Brian Blair, Jim Brunzell, Bad News Brown, Sam Houston, Jacques Rougeau, Raymond Rougeau, Ken Patera, Ron Bass, Junkyard Dog, Nikolai Volkoff, Boris Zhukov, Hillbilly Jim, King Harley Race, George Steele

The winner gets a big trophy and you really should be able to see where this is going from here. Powers and Roma (the Young Stallions) are another pretty boy tag team, Sika is a Samoan, Brown is a tough guy and a legitimate bronze medalist in judo (never mentioned on screen), Houston is a cowboy, Patera is a strongman, Bass is an evil cowboy and Volkoff and Zhukov (the Bolsheviks) are evil Russians. Steele starts on the floor and never actually gets in so it’s not really clear if he’s eliminated or not.

Uecker is on commentary for this one and mentions that Vince McMahon called to ask if he wanted to be on the show. That’s not something you would expect to hear as Vince was just a commentator at this point. Houston, a smaller guy, is quickly put out and Sika, a much bigger guy, is gone soon after.

The fans go nuts at the prospect of Davis getting tossed. It’s rather impressive that he’s hung around so long with such a simple gimmick and so little skill. Steele pulls Neidhart to the floor and both Bees and Raymond Rougeau are quickly eliminated as well. Some cops walk in front of the first row as Dog eliminates Bass. Zhukov and others dump Hillbilly and Powers tosses Davis to the biggest pop of his career. Powers is eliminated a few seconds later and the ring is really clearing out.

Race and Dog go at it again and there go Nikolai and Patera. Jacques is eliminated a few seconds alter and we’re down to Hart, Roma, Race, Dog and Brown. Dog punches Race out almost immediately and Brown backdrops Roma to get us down to three. Brown hits Hart by mistake and the all fours headbutts have them in trouble. The villains take over with some double teaming and quickly toss the Dog. An agreement seems to have been reached but Brown gives him the Ghetto Blaster (enziguri) and tosses Hart for the win at 9:45.

Rating: D. This was a rather lame battle royal with almost no drama but it did accomplish a major goal by turning Bret face for the first time in his career. Neidhart would follow him to the good side soon enough and the Hart Foundation would become a force in the division all over again. Brown would soon feud with the new World Champion for a bit in some really good matches. I wouldn’t want to spoil the new champion for you though, in case you somehow haven’t heard about it in the last twenty seven years or so.

Brown comes back in for the trophy presentation but Bret jumps him from behind and destroys the trophy.

The Fink goes over the tournament rules but Gorilla and Jesse talk over him. They quiet down for a celebrity moment though as Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous’ Robin Leech reads a proclamation about the tournament, which basically says “we’re having a tournament.”

Here are the brackets:

Hulk Hogan

BYE

Andre the Giant

BYE

Jim Duggan

Ted DiBiase

Don Muraco

Dino Bravo

Greg Valentine

Ricky Steamboat

Randy Savage

Butch Reed

One Man Gang

Bam Bam Bigelow

Jake Roberts

Rick Rude

WWF World Title Tournament First Round: Jim Duggan vs. Ted DiBiase

DiBiase has bodyguard Virgil and Andre with him. Ted hides in the corner to start but Duggan fires off some right hands to take over. A big atomic drop sends DiBiase over the top and out to the floor with one of DiBiase’s perfect bounces. He’s known as a technician but he can tumble around very well. Back in and Duggan pounds away in the corner but he charges into a boot to give Ted his first control.

A sunset flip gets two for Duggan and Jesse freaks out that he knows a wrestling move. Duggan pounds him into the corner again and a slam looks to set up the Three Point Clothesline but Andre grabs his foot. The distraction lets DiBiase get in a knee to the back for the pin at 5:02. The replay shows Andre punching Duggan as well with the referee looking right at him. It would seem that DiBiase has bought off another one. Or that they screwed up and no one noticed.

Rating: C-. This is going to be a running problem tonight. These matches could be good but you can’t do much when you have so little time to work with. Five minutes is enough for a squash but you need more if you want to see something competitive. Duggan and DiBiase had some awesome matches in Mid-South but they were far different people at this point.

Brutus Beefcake threatens to cut Honky Tonk Man’s hair tonight after he takes the Intercontinental Title. Honky Tonk stole the belt from Steamboat just a few months after Wrestlemania III and has held it ever since.

WWF World Title Tournament First Round: Don Muraco vs. Dino Bravo

Bravo has Frenchy Martin with him while Muraco, now a good guy, has former WWF World Champion Billy Graham in his corner. Power vs. power here with Bravo taking him into the corner for some big right hands. Muraco comes back with a slam but is totally out of position for what looked like a Vader Bomb, meaning he has to just land next to Bravo and then cover him. A gutwrench suplex gets two for Bravo but he misses a knee in the corner to give Muraco a target.

Don starts working on the leg but gets kicked away so hard that his neck gets tied up in the ropes. Bravo follows up on the neck with a piledriver (Muraco’s move, though Muraco uses a tombstone) for two, followed by a double clothesline to put both of them down. Muraco takes over so Bravo pulls the referee in the way of a flying forearm for the DQ at 4:54.

Rating: D. Lame match here with an even lamer ending. They really needed to protect Dino Bravo in a World Title tournament at Wrestlemania? You can’t have him take a rollup loss to a former Intercontinental Champion? The ending didn’t do it any favors either and the whole thing was just messy. It could have been worse though.

Uecker, who will mainly be a backstage interviewer tonight, is looking for Vanna White but finds Honky Tonk Man and Jimmy Hart instead. A few barbs are exchanged about Uecker’s abysmal batting average and Uecker thinks it might be time for some haircuts. Honky Tonk threatens to backstroke up the Mississippi. Wouldn’t that mess with his hair?

WWF World Title Tournament First Round: Ricky Steamboat vs. Greg Valentine

Ricky has his son with him, who would wind up being Richie Steamboat in the early days of NXT. Steamboat runs the ropes to start and armdrags Valentine into an armbar as he is known to do. Some chops get two for the Dragon and he skins the cat before dropkicking Valentine in the back. In a rare botch, Ricky isn’t in the right place to roll Valentine up and has to cover him for two instead. Everyone can make a mistake every and then but it’s so strange to see it from Steamboat.

Valentine pulls Steamboat off the ropes for a big crash, giving me one of my all time favorite exchanges between Gorilla and Jesse. Gorilla: “Right on the back of the head! Right on the external occipital protuberance area!” Jesse: “The WHAT?” Gorilla: “That little bump on the back of your head.” Ricky flips out of a belly to back suplex and puts on another armbar. Greg gets back up with a big clothesline to knock Steamboat down. Gorilla: “Right on the external occipital protuberance. We talked about that Jess.” Jesse: “Ok. Back of the head for all your normal people out there.”

They slug it out as Jesse finally points out Donald Trump in the front row. Valentine can’t hook the Figure Four and Steamboat wins a slugout. Greg’s top rope chop sets up the Figure Four but Steamboat chops his way out again. Now it’s Ricky with a top rope chop to the head for two. After shoving the referee in a rare angry moment, Steamboat goes up for the cross body but Valentine rolls through for the clean pin at 9:11.

Rating: B-. Match of the night by far and while a lot of that is due to the talent in the ring, a lot of it is also due to the extra time they had. It let them build up a match instead of just getting all their stuff in, which is only a good thing when you have guys like these two out there. This would be it for Steamboat in the WWF as he headed back to the NWA after some time off.

The British Bulldogs have Matilda back after the Islanders (Heenan’s team) dognapped her. Dynamite says that Matilda has been trained for a weasel hunt (Bobby was known as the Weasel) and Koko B. Ware can’t wait for the six man tag tonight. Does this sound familiar to anyone else?

Bobby Heenan receives a package and actually TIPS THE DELIVERYMAN! Someone get him to a doctor!

WWF World Title Tournament First Round: Randy Savage vs. Butch Reed

Savage, now a full on face and the second most popular act in the company, and Elizabeth are in matching blue outfits. Reed shoves Savage down as the announcers debate whether or not Gorilla would buy a used car from Slick. Savage can’t suplex the bigger Reed so Butch suplexes him instead, followed by a hard elbow to the face. Savage’s elbows have little effect as Reed drops him again, only to spend WAY too much time yelling at Elizabeth as he goes up. Butch gets slammed down, setting up the flying elbow for the pin at 4:09.

Rating: D+. This did exactly what it was supposed to do as Savage is going to have a deep run in this thing so giving him a relatively easy first round match made sense. Reed was fine in this role as a power guy who posed a bit of a threat but ultimately had no chance. This would be his last match for the WWF before he headed for the NWA as well.

Heenan isn’t worried about the British Bulldogs or that mutt Matilda because he has the Islanders and a surprise to back it up. Uecker is offended and won’t speak at their outrigger dinner.

WWF World Title Tournament First Round: Bam Bam Bigelow vs. One Man Gang

Two monsters here as Gang is a big biker with Slick as his manager and Bigelow is a slightly smaller (6’4, 393lbs) guy who can fly around amazingly well for someone his size. He also has Oliver Humperdink (a pretty low level yet very colorful manager) in his corner. Gang jumps him from behind and splashes Bigelow in the corner as Monsoon talks about wrestling at 440lbs. Jesse is stunned and wants to hear about Monsoon’s diet back then in a funny bit that only the two of them could pull off.

Bigelow makes a quick comeback and hits a pair of headbutts, only to have Slick pull the rope down to send Bigelow outside, drawing a countout at 2:55. You would think that Bigelow being on the apron for about seven of those counts and having one foot in the ring at ten would be enough to save him but not quite. This was it for Bigelow for all intents and purposes as he needed knee surgery and would also be in the NWA by the end of the year.

Gene is in the back with Hogan, who talks about his rematch with Andre. After saying about what you would expect him to say, Hogan goes into a bizarre rant about slamming Andre and breaking America off from the fault line and causing everyone to fall into the ocean. Now things get even more insane and it has to be quoted for posterity’s sake if nothing else:

“So will Donald Trump and all the Hulkamaniacs. But as Donald Trump hangs on to the top of the Trump Plaza with his family under his other arm, as they sink to the bottom of the sea, THANK GOD Donald Trump’s a Hulkamaniac. He’ll know enough to let go of his materialistic possessions, hang on to the wife and kids, dog paddle with his life all the way to safety. But Donald, if somehow you run out of gas, and all those little Hulkamaniacs run out of gas, just hang onto the largest back in the world and I’ll dog paddle us, backstroke all of us to safety.”

So to recap:

1. Hulk Hogan basically just declared himself Jesus.

2. Wouldn’t everyone on his back drown is he backstrokes through the ocean?

3. What’s with the referencing to backstroking tonight?

4. Gene’s face during Hogan’s speech is bordering on terror as he tries not to let his jaw hang open and/or ask what on earth Hogan is talking about.

WWF World Title Tournament First Round: Rick Rude vs. Jake Roberts

These two would be about to start an awesome feud due to Rude trying to hit on Jake’s wife. Rude, with Heenan in his corner, is still a goofy ladies man here but he could be a heavy hitter when he needed to be. Feeling out process to start until Jake scores with some slams to send Rude into the corner. Jake starts cranking on the arm and even holds it when Rude punches him to the mat for a unique visual.

The wristlock stays on as they hit the mat, which sounds like the calling card of the fifteen minute time limit draw. Back up and a knee lift looks to set up the DDT but Rude bails to the floor. More stalling ensues until Jake slams him again but he misses another knee lift and crashes to the mat. The hip swivel and an elbow drop get a VERY slow two for Rude and we hit the chinlock. They’re not even hiding the impending draw. Even Jesse is wondering why Rude is doing something like this with such a short time limit.

Rude elbows him down for two and we hit yet another chinlock. Jake fights up with a belly to back suplex and Rude STILL won’t let go of the hold. Some stomps set up the fifth chinlock of the match and Jake looks asleep. The fans are loudly booing this until Jake finally escapes with a jawbreaker. It’s a remarkable improvement for the fans as they go from booing to just silent instead. Jake starts his comeback with a short clothesline but the DDT is broken up. A double clothesline makes the fans audibly groan. Rude is up first and grabs a rollup with his feet on the ropes but the bell rings for the draw at 15:13 (eh close enough).

Rating: F. Absolutely awful here as over five minutes of the match was spent in a chinlock. It’s easy to have a fifteen minute match go to a draw without boring the fans to death but they didn’t even try here. I know you don’t want to do another countout after the previous one, but what about a double DQ that eats up half the time or something like that? This was awful and just a way to waste time.

Here are the updated brackets:

Hulk Hogan

Andre the Giant

Ted DiBiase

Don Muraco

Greg Valentine

Ricky Steamboat

One Man Gang

BYE

Gene is with Vanna White (of Wheel of Fortune) but she’s never heard of Bob Uecker. They give us a quick preview of the second round and praise Hogan a bit. Vanna likes Elizabeth as “a woman person” behind Savage. White may not have been a huge wrestling fan but she knew how to have a great smile and a lot of charisma here. As I said earlier: it helps when they sound like they want to be here and Vanna seemed like she was having a good time.

Ultimate Warrior vs. Hercules

Warrior is relatively new (he debuted in October) and this is just a power vs. power match. They shove each other around to start until Warrior takes him into the corner for some hard chops. This is before Warrior had figured out the formula that made him a star so this is quite a different style. Hercules needs three clotheslines to put Rude down but Warrior pops up because they’re just clotheslines.

Ever the villain, Jesse suggests that Hercules choke Warrior out with the tassels on Warrior’s arms. It’s not a bad idea actually. They slug it out and don’t seem to know where to go next. I can understand that from Warrior but Hercules is a veteran at this point. An atomic drop puts Warrior down out of the corner and Heenan says slap it on him. There’s the full nelson but Warrior climbs the turnbuckles and falls backwards onto Hercules, raising his shoulder up for the pin at 4:36.

Rating: D. See, as boring as this one was, at least they kept it short and you had Warrior being all insane (character insane as opposed to real life insane) to keep things active. Like I said, this is completely different than the normal Warrior style and it was interesting to see something out of the ordinary.

Hercules comes in with the chain but Warrior takes it away and swings it around to clean house.

We see some Wrestlemania IV merchandise as we’re in an intermission.

Boxing legend Sugar Ray Leonard is here.

Long recap of Andre vs. Hogan, including the build up to Wrestlemania III, DiBiase paying Andre to bring him the title and the Main Event match which set up the tournament.

WWF World Title Tournament Quarterfinals: Hulk Hogan vs. Andre the Giant

Andre has DiBiase and Virgil with him. Hogan charges right at the Giant but Andre is ready for him with a bunch of right hands. Some running forearms have Andre staggered and Hulk rams him into DiBiase for good measure. Andre gets tied up in the ropes but Hogan walks around forever, allowing DiBiase and Virgil to get Andre loose.

Even more right hands drop Andre and three straight elbows get two, only to have Andre grab Hogan by the throat to break up the cover. Andre sits on Hogan because he doesn’t like to make his offense that complicated. We hit the trapezius hold from the Giant but Hulk pops up with more right hands. A Virgil distraction lets DiBiase sneak in with a chair but Hogan takes it away and hits Andre. The Giant takes the chair and hits Hogan with it….and that’s a double DQ at 5:23.

Rating: D. Yeah the match sucked but my goodness how in the world do you call that a double DQ? Hogan hit him first and the referee was looking right at him but for some reason both guys are out. That sounds about as cut and dry as you can get but tournaments can cause some screwy results.

Hogan slams Andre and poses even though he’s out of the tournament. DiBiase runs and throws Virgil at Hogan to take the beating in the aisle. Gorilla turns into Yoda and says that “neither one of these men will be entitled to wear the belt of the champion.” As the posing ensues, Jesse thinks this was all part of the master plan. That’s because Jesse was one of the smartest commentators ever and gets common sense while Gorilla was a glorified Hogan fan. This goes on for WAY too long and feels like the end of the show while Jesse says we’ll know who the real greatest is in another hour.

Savage, now in pink to match Elizabeth again, says no one has ever defeated Hogan. Now that he’s out though, he’s going to make sure that the other half of the Mega Powers goes all the way.

WWF World Title Tournament Quarterfinals: Don Muraco vs. Ted DiBiase

The winner goes to the finals due to the double DQ. Muraco reaches through the ropes to get DiBiase (alone here) as the bell rings and Jesse freaks out because it’s not fair to Ted. Again, totally correct but Gorilla ignores him. A powerslam and a middle rope elbow get two each for Muraco so DiBiase rolls outside. That’s even worse as he has to run from Graham and his cane. Back in and DiBiase sends him hard into the buckle to set up some choking. That sweet falling fist drop gets two for DiBiase but he misses an elbow. Back up and Muraco charges into a stun gun to send DiBiase to the finals at 5:35.

Rating: D+. I find it interesting that DiBiase has won his first two matches without using his finishing hold. It’s always cool to see them mix things up like that instead of doing the same stuff over and over again. Muraco was a good choice to put DiBiase over here and the match was fine enough. Not good but fine.

Demolition says they’re going to hit Strike Force over the head with baseball bats to win the Tag Team Titles. Uecker is rightfully freaked out.

One Man Gang’s second round bye is announced to the crowd.

WWF World Title Tournament Quarterfinals: Greg Valentine vs. Randy Savage

This should be good. Savage goes for a quick rollup but Greg goes up top and drops a forearm to the back for two. Donald Trump is still in the front row and seems to actually be enjoying himself. They fight to the floor with Greg chopping even more, followed by some heavy elbows to the chest. Back in and Valentine starts in on the leg but opts for a suplex instead. Savage suddenly goes nuts and hits the top rope ax handle. He tries for a second but gets punched out of the air. Valentine can’t follow up but avoids a charge against the ropes. The Figure Four is countered into a small package and Savage advances at 6:07.

Rating: D. Quite the disappointing match here as you would expect far better chemistry from these two. Valentine barely touched the leg and was just going with the big forearms and elbows, which were normally only about half of his offense. Savage had one burst of offense and then won in the end on a fluke again, which is pretty standard for him. Not a good match here, which is a really bit surprise.

Here are the updated brackets:

Ted DiBiase

BYE

One Man Gang

Randy Savage

Vanna and Gene talk about the upcoming matches.

Intercontinental Title: Honky Tonk Man vs. Brutus Beefcake

This is one of Beefcake’s 283 or so shots at the titles over the year. Honky Tonk now has his girlfriend Peggy Sue with him (Sherri Martel as a dancing 50s girl). Jesse says he’s playing piano during Honky Tonk’s music. Unfortunately Beefcake doesn’t have his awesome music yet. The champ stalls forever so Jesse says hi to Terri, Tyrel and Jade (his wife and kids) back in Minneapolis as was his custom. A big atomic drop gives us the Honky Tonk selling and a right hand sends him outside.

Back in and Beefcake motions for a haircut before he sends Honky Tonk into the buckle over and over. Brutus finally misses a big elbow to give Honky Tonk an opening for his variety of stomping. Some choking looks to set up the Shake Rattle and Roll but the champ lets go. Jimmy Hart is confused but it turns out that they needed to move closer to the ropes so Brutus could block. I guess this is before backdrops were invented.

Beefcake grabs the sleeper but Hart knocks the referee cold with the megaphone. Instead of waking up the referee (why does that almost never happen?), Brutus goes for the scissors and cuts Jimmy’s hair instead. No one can wake Honky Tonk up so Peggy pours water over his face. Brutus tries to bring in the hedge clippers and the match is thrown out at somewhere around 6:00.

Rating: D. Another lame match here as Honky Tonk was all about the heat from the crowd and couldn’t have a good match to save his life most of the time. That being said, it made him more valuable than most of the roster as the people would pay to see him get beaten up every night because there was no way he could survive one more day as champion. Keep that up for over a year and rake in the money until you have someone to shoot to the moon as the new champion. Beefcake was never going to be that guy but he was an awesome repeat challenger.

There’s another major point to talk about here. Remember how I said the tournament we got wasn’t the original plan? Well that’s because of Honky Tonk Man. The original plan here was to have Savage beat Honky Tonk Man for the title but Honky Tonk talked Vince out of it/threatened to jump to the NWA with the title (depending on who you ask) and his reign continued.

Instead Savage was plugged into the World Title tournament and gets the major push as a result. The original World Title tournament saw DiBiase’s master plan paying off with him beating an exhausted Hogan to win the title, (the original brackets were aired on TV before they were changed to this version) setting up Savage winning it at Summerslam and going forward with history from there.

Andre puts his massive hand on Uecker’s shoulder to scare him to death while explaining the master plan. All he was supposed to do was get Hogan out of the tournament and he did his job perfectly. He chokes Uecker for fun, bugging Bob’s eyes out in a semi-famous bit.

Islanders/Bobby Heenan vs. British Bulldogs/Koko B. Ware

We get to see what was inside Bobby’s delivery earlier: a dog handler’s outfit, which Jesse calls a stroke of genius. Dynamite hiptosses Haku (formerly King Tonga) and Tama down to start before catapulting Tama over the corner and out to the floor. Off to Haku to face Davey in the power vs. power match. Davey gets two off a crucifix and we hit the chinlock on Haku. You don’t often see a heel in one of those.

Haku comes back with an eye rake and forearms. Jesse: “Heenan is saving himself Gorilla.” Gorilla: “Yeah for the senior prom.” Dynamite finally charges into a kick in the corner and it’s off to Heenan for some stomps. Jesse describes him as looking like “A Chinaman” and the cook from Bonanza.

A single right hand to the ribs sends Bobby running and it’s off to Koko for some meaningless headbutts. Thankfully the Islanders don’t sell because they respect racial stereotypes and it’s back to Heenan to work on Koko some more. Ware sends him into the corner though and everything breaks down with the Islanders slamming Bobby onto Koko for the pin at 7:31.

Rating: D+. So this was basically the Heenan Family replacing the Hart Foundation from last year. Heenan was funnier than Davis though and it almost made for a more entertaining match, but that beating that Davis took last year was a thing of beauty. Still good enough here and Koko continues to be the man you get when you need a filler.

Jesse is presented to the crowd again in another rather pointless segment.

DiBiase’s bye into the finals is announced.

WWF World Title Tournament Semifinals: Randy Savage vs. One Man Gang

Elizabeth is in black to match Savage’s robe but his trunks are purple. Savage gets smart and grabs the beard to start and snaps Gang’s throat over the top rope. That’s it for Savage’s offense though as the much bigger Gang drives him into the corner to take over. Gang gets two off a slam but Savage gets his foot on the ropes.

The big splash misses though and Savage ax handles him to the floor. A top rope ax handle to the floor has Gang reeling but Savage tries a slam like a schnook and fails miserably. Elizabeth gets on the apron for no apparent reason and Slick throws in the cane. Gang misses every swing but it’s a DQ anyway at 4:35.

Rating: D. They were setting up a fine match until the lame ending. How do you disqualify someone for failing to cheat? Then again this is the same show where there was a countout when someone was halfway in the ring and a chair to the head somehow setting up a double DQ. Savage should have won this off a missed charge and a quick rollup or something but instead they went with some botched cheating.

Vanna has to go to ringside for the final and Uecker shows up just a few seconds late. Gene says Vanna has no idea who Uecker is but he says she’s sent him a ton of letters. “Yeah some guy named Vance White.” I really hope there’s a joke I’m not getting there because that’s really not funny.

Tag Team Titles: Demolition vs. Strike Force

Demolition is challenging and has Mr. Fuji in their corner. Strike Force is the sequel to the Can-Am Connection with Martel teaming up with Tito Santana to win the Tag Team Titles from the Hart Foundation back in the fall. Smash pounds Martel down to start and the other two come in as everything breaks down. A double clothesline gets two on Smash as the crowd is quiet, likely due to exhaustion at this point.

Tito armdrags Ax down and Martel hiptosses Smash down for good measure. Smash is still strong enough to catch a charging Santana in midair and carries him over to Ax for a clothesline in a kind of prototype Hart Attack. Jesse gives tips on double teaming as Smash gets two off a suplex. Tito finally scores with the flying forearm, which Jesse says he learned in the Mexican Football League. It’s finally off to Martel to clean house but the fans just do not care. Martel gets the Boston crab on Smash but Ax sneaks in with the cane (a must have for any heel manager) to knock Martel out and give Smash the pin at 8:03.

Rating: D+. The fans reacted to the title change but there wasn’t much else for them to care about. The match wasn’t bad but it took a lot of time to get to the ending as this show feels like it’s been going on forever. Demolition would go on to have the longest reign in the history of the titles so this was quite the historic change. Strike Force was an underrated team and I was hoping to see them get back in the title change but it would never come.

It’s FINALLY time for the main event with Uecker as the ring announcer and Vanna as the timekeeper. Robin Leech is also here to present the World Title belt to the winner. Uecker gets a kiss from Vanna to wrap up the show long story.

WWF World Title: Ted DiBiase vs. Randy Savage

DiBiase has Andre with him but Virgil is probably still in the hospital after that one suplex. The final matching outfit sees Savage and Elizabeth all in white which feels appropriate for some reason. Savage is rightfully freaked out (freaked out freaked out) by Andre, who grabs Randy’s foot to make it even worse. The fans, proving that they are in fact alive, chant for Hogan.

They fight over arm control until Ted’s sunset flip is broken up by a right hand to the face. Some elbows to the back of Savage’s head changes control again but a knee to the back sends DiBiase outside. Savage goes up but Andre stands in front of him and says jump. If Savage jumps at him and gets attacked doesn’t that mean a DQ, which could mean Savage wins the title? Leave the planning to DiBiase Giant. Savage realizes something must be done and sends Elizabeth off to the back for help.

As Ted cranks on a chinlock, we get the obvious return of Hogan who sits down in the corner to keep an eye on things. Andre goes after Savage again but Hogan runs over with a right hand to even things up again. A suplex gets two for Ted but he gets slammed off the top, only to have Savage miss the elbow. DiBiase slaps on the sleeper but the referee goes to yell at Andre. Hogan comes in (wearing cowboy boots of all things) and chairs DiBiase in the back, setting up the elbow to make Savage champion at 9:17.

Rating: C. The match was fine but it came at the end of a far too long show. In their defense, the fans went nuts when Savage won, despite the blatant cheating from Hogan. As usual, Hulk continues to be really evil under the surface but to his credit Savage didn’t see what Hogan did. Good enough match but it came too late in the night.

Savage, Hogan and Elizabeth celebrate in the ring to wrap up the show.

Overall Rating: D. This was LONG. The show felt like it went on for about nineteen days with so many worthless matches (Bravo vs. Muraco and Warrior vs. Hercules?) and stuff not getting enough time because we needed SIXTEEN MATCHES on one show. Savage winning the title was one of the two best options along with DiBiase so I can’t complain there, but this really needed to be cut down by an hour and minus about six matches. Or get a shorter ramp to cut down on the way too long entrances.

This is a show that really could have benefited from the modern pay per view style as there are regularly scheduled twenty minute matches on most pay per views. The problem here was you had all those matches, meaning a lot of entrances to eat up time. It made for a VERY long night and the show felt like it was never going to end. Do yourself a favor and watch the first Clash of the Champions, which aired on the same night and partially at the same time.

Ratings Comparison

Battle Royal

Original: C

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D

Ted DiBiase vs. Jim Duggan

Original: C-

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: C-

Don Muraco vs. Dino Bravo

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D

Greg Valentine vs. Ricky Steamboat

Original: C

2013 Redo: C+

2015 Redo: B-

Randy Savage vs. Butch Reed

Original: D

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: D+

One Man Gang vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

Rick Rude vs. Jake Roberts

Original: D

2013 Redo: D-

2015 Redo: F

Ultimate Warrior vs. Hercules

Original: D

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D

Hulk Hogan vs. Andre the Giant

Original: C

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: D

Ted DiBiase vs. Don Muraco

Original: C+

2013 Redo: C

2015 Redo: D+

Randy Savage vs. Greg Valentine

Original: C+

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: D

Brutus Beefcake vs. Honky Tonk Man

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D

Islanders/Bobby Heenan vs. British Bulldogs/Koko B. Ware

Original: D+

2013 Redo: C

2015 Redo: D+

Randy Savage vs. One Man Gang

Original: D

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

Demolition vs. Strike Force

Original: C-

2013 Redo: C+

2015 Redo: D+

Randy Savage vs. Ted DiBiase

Original: B

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: C

Overall Rating

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

I even got annoyed trying to write up the new ratings comparison. This show is that much of a mess.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/11/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-4-one-big-tournament-and-thats-it/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/13/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-iv-the-biggest-tournament-ever/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Wrestlemania I
Date: March 31, 1985
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 19,121
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Jesse Ventura

The first Wrestlemania is one of those shows that really doesn’t need an introduction. While it’s really just a very glorified house show, it was clear that there was something special about this show. This is the start of a new way of life in professional wrestling and everything is about to change. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is a montage of shots of the matches tonight with the Wrestlemania logo in the middle. Not exactly high thinking stuff but it was a simpler time.

Gorilla (with more hair than you’ll ever see him have) welcomes us to the show and throws it to the Fink who introduces Gene Okerlund to sing the Star Spangled Banner. This is one of the only times it wouldn’t be America the Beautiful. The crowd joins in singing for a nice moment.

Tito Santana says he doesn’t know anything about the Executioner but no one is going to stop him from achieving his goals. Arriba!

The Executioner, a masked man better known as Playboy Buddy Rose (a big star in Portland Wrestling and the AWA who didn’t do much elsewhere), says he’s going after Tito’s leg. So much for secrecy.

Tito Santana vs. The Executioner

It’s a crisscross to start the first match in Wrestlemania history. Tito quickly fires him out to the floor, followed by a headlock takeover for two back inside. Executioner tries to hide in the corner but it’s not that hard to find someone in a big red mask three feet in front of Santana. Tito follows him in but takes a headbutt to the ribs to give Executioner control.

An awkward looking backdrop puts Tito down as there hasn’t been much of the promised leg work. Maybe Executioner is smarter than he seems and was lying to throw Tito off. Santana slams Executioner off the top but a splash hits knees and now it’s time for the leg. Tito easily kicks him to the floor though and the flying forearm sets up Tito’s Figure Four for the submission at 4:50.

Rating: D+. This was just a squash for Tito as he was trying to get the Intercontinental Title back. Executioner was one of the standard characters of the day who would show up, possibly be played by multiple people on different nights, and rarely win a match. All the announcers had to do was build the masked man up as a threat to the star and go to the match. It’s such a simple idea and that’s all it needed to be.

S.D. Jones, a self described music man, is more than ready for King Kong Bundy on the biggest show ever.

King Kong Bundy promises a splash and a five count.

King Kong Bundy vs. S.D. Jones

Bundy shoves him into the corner and hits a pair of splashes for the pin at 24 seconds. This is billed as nine seconds for a record but it takes nearly double that much time for the first splash to connect. To continue the lying, Bundy only got a three count. How can I ever trust someone like that?

Matt Borne, a pretty generic heel (I mean he wears sunglasses inside. How can he possibly be a good guy?), thinks Ricky Steamboat is just too nice of a guy and needs to get beaten up.

Steamboat says he’s ready but Okerlund talks over him to throw it back to the arena. That’s rather rude of him. Ricky was talking about developing his meanness, a goal he failed to achieve in spectacular fashion.

Matt Borne vs. Ricky Steamboat

Steamboat is a newcomer and in trunks instead of tights here. Feeling out process to start and a big chop puts Borne down. A headlock has Borne in trouble and a big atomic drop makes him gyrate a bit. The left handed Borne comes back with some shots to the ribs and a hard whip into the corner, only to have Steamboat come back with chops and another headlock. Ricky wins a slugout and drops a knee for two. Back up and the high cross body gives Steamboat the pin at 4:38.

Rating: D+. This could be subtitled “Hi, I’m Ricky Steamboat and I’m a good wrestler.” Borne could have been any other guy and the match would have been the same. Steamboat would take some time to get anywhere but he was one of the smoothest wrestlers of all time and always worth checking out.

As I mentioned earlier, this is really more of a house show than anything else as we haven’t had an important match so far and we’re about twenty five minutes in.

It should be noted that Lord Alfred Hayes is introducing the pre-match interviews (which are all pre-taped from earlier in the day). This time, Steamboat and Borne both have to made sudden shifts to avoid running into Hayes’ camera shot.

David Sammartino is ready to show that he’s not just his father’s son. Of course his father will be at ringside.

Johnny Valiant says his man Brutus Beefcake isn’t worried about the son of an overrated legend.

Brutus Beefcake vs. David Sammartino

They make no secret of the fact that this is little more than a way to have Bruno appear on the show. Bruno and Valiant are the seconds here and the match takes its sweet time to get going. David is in good shape but is a very boring looking wrestler. Brutus on the other hand has a great look but is very green at this point. It’s a slow start as Jesse thinks the loser will have his career set back six months to a year. They start slow with Brutus being sent out to the floor for a conference with Valiant.

Back in and David grabs a front facelock but gets countered into a headlock. David gets to his feet and takes Brutus down for a leg lock. The fans aren’t exactly thrilled with this one. Brutus fights up again and drops some heavy forearms followed by a powerslam. After more punishment it’s David fighting back and trying to look as much like his dad as he can. They fight to the floor and the managers get involved for the double DQ at 11:44.

Rating: D. So far this is the low mark in the history of Wrestlemania. That being said, it’s not so much bad as it is really dull. They were just doing basic moves to each other for about ten minutes until the older guys came in. At the end of the day, Bruno was the star here and David wasn’t very good. There isn’t much you can do to get around that and David never did.

Greg Valentine says he’s lost weight and is ready to defend the Intercontinental Title.

Junkyard Dog says he needs a bone to chew on and he’ll be able to afford a lot more once he wins that title.

Intercontinental Title: Junkyard Dog vs. Greg Valentine

Valentine is defending and the graphic says this is the Inter-Continental Title. Greg also has Jimmy Hart in his corner. Dog starts with some heavy headbutts and right hands, followed by more headbutts from all fours to put Valentine down in the corner. Back up and Valentine actually wins a test of strength (I didn’t see that one coming), setting up a wristlock.

Now we get more into Greg’s standard operating procedure as he drives knees into Dog’s hamstring and cranks on the leg. Back up and Dog limps around but is still able to fire off right hands and headbutts. You might say his offense is limited but that might be giving him too much credit. Jimmy Hart tries to get on the apron but Valentine hits him by mistake, only to grab a rollup for the pin on Dog with his feet on the ropes at 6:55.

Rating: D. Another dull match here but at least the fans were way behind Dog. The guy might not have been the most athletic or active wrestler in the world but there’s no denying his charisma and how much the fans got behind him. It was pretty sure that Valentine was going to be fighting Santana next so the ending was never in any real doubt here but at least it was short.

Speaking of Santana, he comes out to tell the referee about Valentine’s feet being on the ropes. The referee says restart it but Valentine walks out, earning Dog a countout win. That’s quite the meaningless change and the fans really don’t care.

Iron Sheik and Nikolai Volkoff don’t like America and want to take the Tag Team Titles back to Iran and the USSR respectfully. Their manager Freddie Blassie agrees.

The Tag Team Champions the US Express (Mike Rotundo and Barry Windham with manager Lou Albano) don’t have much to say but they’re ready.

Tag Team Titles: US Express vs. Iron Sheik/Nikolai Volkoff

Volkoff and Sheik are challenging and Nikolai actually gets the full Soviet national anthem out before the champions hit the ring. The Express are heavy favorites here but Sheik shoulders Mike down to start. Some dropkicks mostly miss Sheik but he goes down anyway. That’s very nice of him. Maybe he isn’t as evil as he seems. Windham comes in with a top rope elbow to the head and the champs are in early control.

Rotundo is tagged back in to face Volkoff. Nikolai’s arm gets worked over in a hurry with both champions coming off the top rope and dropping down onto it. Sheik gets suplexed but Volkoff gets in a knee to the back to finally give the evil foreigners control. Back to Sheik who can’t keep Rotundo in trouble much longer, allowing Mike to dive over for the tag. Barry comes in with a bulldog for two but everything breaks down. In the melee, Sheik uses Blassie’s cane to knock Windham out cold for the pin and the titles at 6:56.

Rating: C-. This was just for the historical value and little more. Sheik and Volkoff getting the titles was a major surprise but they would drop them back to the Express just a few months later. They kept the formula simple here as the Express dominated until the very end where the villains cheated to take the belts. Quick and efficient here to give the show something historic.

Sheik and Volkoff say they’re the best in the world and Blassie denies having a cane.

The announcers talk for a bit as we’re in an intermission.

Big John Studd and Bobby Heenan have $15,000 in a bag (very impressive since you can see it’s mostly $1 bills) which they certainly won’t lose in the body slam match.

Andre the Giant vs. Big John Studd

This is Studd’s money vs. Andre’s career and you can only win by slamming your opponent. The Heenan Family jumped Andre and cut off his afro on Saturday Night’s Main Event to set this up. Studd goes right after Andre to start but the Giant will have none of it and chops Studd out to the floor. Back in and Andre lays on Studd in the corner, followed by a bearhug. The fans chant for a slam but they’re stuck with more slow non-action instead. Studd’s kick to the ample gut gets caught and Andre kicks at the free leg a few times, setting up the slam on Studd (in a pretty famous visual) at 5:54.

Rating: F+. I can’t say this is a full on failure as the fans loved the ending but the rest of the match was such a boring mess. Andre was barely able to move here and that bearhug ate up nearly a third of the entire match. Thankfully they kept this really short because I don’t want to imagine what they were going to do with even more time.

Heenan grabs the money and runs off but Andre doesn’t seem to mind.

In the back, Andre laughs off the idea of retiring.

Rock mega star Cyndi Lauper and Wendi Richter are ready for Richter’s rematch for the Women’s Title. Richter really doesn’t have the best voice so Lauper was the better choice for the talking.

Lelani Kai says she’s going to “come back to the dressing room with her hand in victor.”

Women’s Title: Lelani Kai vs. Wendi Richter

Now this is big. Richter, the challenger here, is the second most popular person in the company (yes probably more than Andre) but Kai stole the title with Moolah’s help. Moolah vs. Richter is still the big feud here as Richter has Lauper in her corner. Lauper would start feuding with Moolah and then moved on to Roddy Piper to really blow the doors open on this whole Rock and Wrestling Connection.

In a rather famous shot, Richter and Lauper run through the back on their way to the ring. That’s one of those clips you’ve probably seen in a history package or two over the years. Feeling out process to start with both of them trying a wristlock. A hammerlock has Kai in trouble and she taps but that won’t mean anything for about another ten years.

The champ works on a wristlock of her own and pulls Richter down by the hair. Back up and Kai charges into two boots in the corner to change control. Moolah tries to rip Richter’s hair out but Lauper goes over and drills her. Richter drills Kai with some forearms and a fireman’s carry slam (think a reverse Attitude Adjustment) for two. The champ grabs a backbreaker for two of her own but Wendi rolls through a high cross body (well mostly as she didn’t get all the way through so Kai had to lay there for a bit) for the pin and the title at 6:12.

Rating: D. The match was nothing to see but it was one of the most academic endings of all time. Richter getting the title back sent the fans through the roof and Lauper’s enthusiasm made it even better. Women’s wrestling was very different at this point and things would evolve quite a bit over the next few years. This would be the last big moment for Wendi though as she would get screwed out of the title in a legit shoot by Moolah about eight months later. Richter had a nasty contract dispute and the WWF pulled a screwjob to get the title off of her.

Richter and Lauper spin around in circles post match. They continue to be happy in the back after the match.

It’s time to introduce the celebrities for the main event, starting with the guest ring announcer Billy Martin, the multiple time manager of the New York Yankees. He introduces guest timekeeper Liberace, who comes out with the Rockettes for a little dancing. If this isn’t your taste in entertainment, Muhammad Ali is introduced as the guest referee for outside the ring. Ali gets by far the biggest reaction as a legend here in the Garden and around the world. Another boxer, Jose Torres, is in the front row.

Roddy Piper/Paul Orndorff vs. Mr. T./Hulk Hogan

This is the definition of the main event as it’s the biggest match on the show by leaps and bounds. The idea here is that Piper attacked Cyndi Lauper and friends when Lauper was being presented with an award. Hulk Hogan ran in for the save, setting up a showdown with Piper at the War to Settle the Score. The match resulted in a big brawl and Orndorff came in to help Piper. Mr. T. was in the front row and ran in to help his friend, setting up a huge brawl and this match.

Piper and Orndorff are played to the ring by the New York Pipe and Drum Corps but Hogan and Mr. T. come out to Eye of the Tiger from Rocky III. I’ll go with the good guys on this one. Piper and Orndorff will have Piper’s bodyguard Cowboy Bob Orton in their corner while Hogan and Mr. T. will have Jimmy Snuka. As Hogan and Mr. T. come through the back, Vince McMahon can be seen in the hallway. After all that, we’re FINALLY ready to go.

Orndorff has a broom for no apparent reason as Monsoon recaps everything and announces Pat Patterson as the inside referee. Hogan and Orndorff get things going as you would think they’re keeping the big attractions (Mr. T. in general and Hogan vs. Piper) back for a bit. Apparently not as Piper tags in before there’s any contact and Mr. T. demands to come in. They go nose to nose and slap each other in the face before going down to the mat for some amateur wrestling. The fans chant T. as you would expect them to.

Mr. T. picks him up for an airplane spin and slams Piper down, drawing everyone in for a huge brawl. Ali, Snuka and Orton get in with Piper getting right in Ali’s face. Amazingly enough it’s a REALLY STUPID IDEA to get in Muhammad Ali’s face as he swings at Piper, who is quick enough to get to the floor. Piper and Orndorff try to leave but the cops escort them back to the ring.

Back in and the villains are rammed into each other, leaving Hogan to drive Piper’s head into the mat. Mr. T. comes back in to help Hogan with a double big boot. Some hiptosses keep Piper and Orndorff in trouble and it’s back to Hogan for another boot which Piper out to the floor. Orndorff finally does something right as he knocks Hogan outside where Piper gets in a chair shot.

Ali breaks up any further cheating and it’s Hogan in trouble back inside. Mr. T. is dragged out of the ring, allowing a double atomic drop to keep Hogan in trouble. Piper comes back in for a knee lift for two, followed by a top rope elbow from Orndorff for the same. Orndorff isn’t as lucky the second time though as he misses a top rope knee, allowing for the hot tag off to Mr. T.

The villains quickly take Mr. T. down to the mat though and slaps on a front facelock. Monsoon criticizes Mr. T.’s technique in trying to escape but he gets out anyway and tags in Hogan as everything breaks down. Orton goes up top with for a shot with his cast but it hits Orndorff by mistake, giving Hogan the pin at 13:24.

Rating: C+. This is another match where the ending was obvious but it was all about the spectacle as we got there. Hogan was the megastar to end all megastars here and everything came off well. It’s not a great match or anything but it’s a lot of fun and that’s all it needed to be.

Piper decks Patterson and leaves. Orndorff wakes up and has no idea what happened but leaves without any violence.

We look back at the ending as everyone leaves.

Mr. T. says this is real and not for wimps. Hogan says that was what it was all about. Snuka says these men are his brothers. He would be gone soon after this.

Gorilla and Jesse wrap it up.

A package of stills from the show and the credits (a sign of the times) take us out.

Overall Rating: C-. Here’s the thing: this show isn’t very good. There are far worse cards out there, but this one is all about the history and atmosphere than anything else. To be fair, no one knew what this was going to be at the time and it blew away all the expectations. This felt like something special and that’s exactly what it was. It’s definitely a show that you have to see at some point in your life as a fan and you can feel the history. The show flies by and nothing feels long as only two matches break ten minutes. Not a great show, but one of the most important of all time.

Ratings Comparison

Tito Santana vs. Executioner

Original: C
2013 Redo: C-
2015 Redo: D+

King Kong Bundy vs. S.D. Jones

Original: N/A
2013 Redo: N/A
2015 Redo: N/A

Ricky Steamboat vs. Matt Borne

Original: C-
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: D+

Brutus Beefcake vs. David Sammartino

Original: D-
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: D

Junkyard Dog vs. Greg Valentine

Original: D+
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: D

Nikolai Volkoff/Iron Sheik vs. US Express

Original: B-
2013 Redo: C
2015 Redo: C-

Andre the Giant vs. Big John Studd

Original: D+
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: F+

Lelani Kai vs. Wendi Richter

Original: B
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D

Hulk Hogan/Mr. T. vs. Paul Orndorff/Roddy Piper

Original: B
2013 Redo: B-
2015 Redo: C+

Overall Rating

Original: C-
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: C-

Forgive me on the first version. It was literally the first review I’ve ever done so I actually didn’t know what I was doing yet.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

And the 2013 Redo:

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Prime Time Wrestling
Date: July 10, 1989
Hosts: Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Lord Alfred Hayes, Jesse Ventura, Vince McMahon

We continue our trip through the late 80s with a look at the post Wrestlemania V era. In other words, Hulk Hogan is the WWF Champion again and probably dealing with Zeus and former champion Randy Savage. Throw in a bunch of other matches to fill in some time and we should be in for a fun show. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Bobby Heenan and Gorilla Monsoon immediately get in an argument over who is the host of the show. Heenan wants more members of the Heenan Family around but Monsoon says there will be no members on the show this week. Instead, Heenan is stuck here with all of this Hulk Hogan stuff, so Monsoon threatens him with violence. That’s enough to make Heenan look at the run sheet instead. To the first match!

From the War Memorial in Rochester, New York on June 28, 1989.

Akeem vs. Chris Allen

Slick is here with Akeem, who hammers away with forearms to the back. A running crotch attack to the back connects and Akeem tells him to come on while calling him a big dummy. Some corner splashes set up a running corner splash and Air Africa (the big splash) finishes Allen at 2:05.

Bobby is still annoyed at the host/co-host stuff and says he’ll make Gorilla the host as well. For now though, Heenan sends us to the next match….or actually a break.

And now, Update with Gene Okerlund. This week we’ll be going back to the Brother Love Show, where Rick Martel introduced us to Slick as his new manager. Tito Santana came out and got called some various taco related names, earning Slick a right hand to the face. Santana and Martel got in a big brawl, with Santana getting the better of things.

Rick Martel is annoyed at Tito Santana and promises to teach Tito some manners. Slick knows Martel will fight for him.

Tito Santana says he slapped Martel’s manager and now he’s coming after Martel with all of his energy.

Back in the studio, Gorilla says Heenan should just get his own show. Heenan says he’s talented enough to do so but throws us to the next match instead.

From the Niagara Falls Convention Center in Niagara Falls, New York on June 27, 1989.

Brutus Beefcake vs. Chris Evans

Evans (whose name is given as Greg and Chris in various places) runs away from Beefcake to start and then gets punched in the face for his cowardice. A slam sets up the sleeper (with Brutus saying Macho Man is next) and Evans is done at 1:24.

Post match, Evans gets a hair cut.

Heenan complains about Gorilla bringing in all kinds of people on the show but he brings Brother Love on and gets mocked. Gorilla is having none of this.

From the Dane County Coliseum in Madison, Wisconsin on June 6, 1989.

Dino Bravo vs. Brad Perry

Jimmy Hart is here with Bravo and Ronnie Garvin is guest referee. Perrry is in rather good shape and even Jesse acknowledges that he’s impressive looking. Bravo shoves him down with straight power to start so Perry tries a wristlock. That earns him a hard clothesline to keep Bravo in control, setting up a piledriver. Garvin’s very slow count only gets one as Perry’s feet are in the ropes so Bravo hits the side slam. Bravo picks him up at two and then ties Perry in the Tree of Woe. The stomping is on and Garvin shoves Bravo away….before saying Perry wins by DQ at 2:27.

Post match, Garvin gets in a fist fight with Bravo so referees have to break it up.

Heenan isn’t pleased with Garvin but Gorilla says that a referee has the discretion to do what he thinks is right. Bobby takes this as Gorilla saying Garvin is biased, with Gorilla saying he could be perfectly fine without Heenan around. Heenan: “You could do time without me and be happy.” Well that escalated in a weird direction.

It’s time to talk about Summerslam, with Heenan saying Gorilla will be there because he has nothing else to do. Monsoon no sells it again.

From the War Memorial in Rochester, New York on June 28, 1989.

Bushwhackers vs. Barry Hardy/Sonny Austin

After the traditional head rubbing, Luke confuses Sonny so Butch can come in from behind. The distracted Sonny gets bitten on the trunks, allowing Butch to hit a clothesline. Hardy comes in and gets his arms tied up so Butch puts a hat on him before hitting him in the ribs. The Battering Ram drops Austin and the double gutbuster finishes for Luke at 2:27. Total squash with some comedy thrown in.

Back in the studio, Heenan is yelling at the director and fires him. Monsoon says that as the host, he has to deal with what Heenan does. He goes on a rant to Heenan and MONSOON SWEARS AT HIM, with Heenan saying no one could replace him. It would leave Monsoon trying to be the Brain and the Gorilla but Monsoon isn’t having this.

Sean Mooney talks about how Rick Rude has finally brought some gold to the Heenan Family by winning the Intercontinental Title.

Rude talks about how there are a lot of people sitting on a couch with their woman, but she “has a headache”. Just tell her to think about Rude and they’ll be set for the evening. Heenan laughs off the idea of anyone actually being a threat to Rude.

Jim Neidhart is very happy because he has Bret Hart as his partner. They’re great on their own but then it’s like a tank and a Ferrari when they get together as a team. It’s strange to hear him in a solo interview, especially when he’s talking about Bret.

Monsoon tells Heenan to jump if he’s feeling froggy. Heenan: “Ribbit.” Monsoon laughs before again mocking the lack of any Heenan Family members on the show.

From the War Memorial in Rochester, New York on June 28, 1989.

Honky Tonk Man vs. Al Bermice

Just after the bell, we get an inset interview from Jimmy Snuka, threatening Honky Tonk Man for a recent guitar attack. Honky Tonk Man kicks him down and drops some ax handles to the back to set up some neck cranking. Some elbows set up the Shake Rattle And Roll for the easy pin on Bermtice at 2:19.

Monsoon yells at Heenan for buying a black chair and sending him the $800 bill. Heenan promises to pay for it but Monsoon thinks he’ll be dead by then. That would mean Monsoon would need pall bearers to carry him, but Heenan has been carrying him for years. The ranting about how important Heenan is to the show continues, as does Monsoon cutting him off and sending us back to Sean Mooney, who sends us to Hercules for a chat.

Hercules talks about how he’s a real American who is ready for a hot summer. He thinks it’s funny that people like Dino Bravo and the Brooklyn Brawler can come after him, but he’ll cool them off.

The Fabulous Rougeau Brothers, with Jimmy Hart, make it clear that they are fabulous and brothers. They don’t think much of the Rockers, who have no class or style.

Mooney says no one seems to like the Rougeaus.

Remember Heenan and Gorilla bickering? They do it again here.

From the Metro Center in Rockford, Illinois on June 7, 1989.

Greg Valentine vs. Koko B. Ware

Jimmy Hart is here with Valentine. They circle each other for a bit before Valentine armdrags him down, much to Tony’s surprise. Back up and Valentine times him into the corner for the chops and elbows (kind of hammer-esque really). Ware is right back with some shots of his own, including a headbutt, which has Hart losing his mind.

A dropkick puts Valentine into the corner, setting up an atomic drop for that selling you only got in the 80s. Valentine rolls outside for a breather and comes back in off the top, including quite the slip, to hit Ware with a clothesline/fist. They slug it out again with Ware getting the better of things but Valentine sweeps the legs for a rollup and puts his feet on the ropes for the pin at 4:49.

Rating: C. This was a bit better as it had a mixture of some star power (or close to it) on both sides and some time, which is a lot better than you have been getting so far around here. It ended pretty quickly though, which isn’t exactly the best thing, but this was a longer match for this era of Prime Time. Throw in a Frankie cameo and it’s even better.

Post match here is Ronnie Garvin to say what happened, meaning it’s a reversed decision to give Ware the win.

Heenan isn’t sure if Koko or Frankie look smarter. Heenan: “Do you know how many people walk this earth that need to be insulted?” Monsoon doesn’t like the idea of Heenan lumping him in with that as tensions continue to rise.

We go to an undisclosed arena for a platform interview with Demolition. They don’t think much of the Twin Towers (Akeem/Big Boss Man) because they demolish things. The bigger they are, the harder Demolition can kick their teeth in. The Towers have Slick out here talking and jiving all the time, but if you want to impress someone, get your names on a contract. If the Slim Towers are that serious, meet them in the ring.

Heenan thinks the Brain Busters are going to end Demolition’s record reign as champions. He would be right actually, and it would happen before the end of the month.

Post break, Gorilla is on the phone, reiterating that none of the Heenan Family is going to be on the show this week. Heenan goes into the same rants he’s been on all show, saying he is staying here to keep the show on the air. Monsoon says anyone could fill his spot, so Heenan actually walks out. Gorilla isn’t convinced.

From the Dane County Coliseum in Madison, Wisconsin on June 6, 1989.

Jimmy Snuka vs. Tom Stone

We get an inset promo from the Genius, who doesn’t think much of Snuka. They circle each other to start until Stone grabs a lockup. That doesn’t last long as Snuka hits a crossbody for a fast two, setting up the big chop. Another big chop sets up a backbreaker and the Superfly Splash finishes Stone at 1:53. Not too bad considering they didn’t make contact for the first thirty seconds.

Gorilla is so impressed that he throws it to Sean Mooney for the Event Center.

Sean explains the (rather complicated) concept of Mr. Perfect, who is sick to his stomach about the lack of competition around here. Yes he is still perfect but no one can give him any kind of competition, so he’ll be staying perfect.

The Ultimate Warrior isn’t happy with losing the Intercontinental Title to Rick Rude but also wants to take out Andre the Giant. We shall conqueror the giant.

It’s time for Coliseum Corner, so Tony Schiavone runs down the 1989 Royal Rumble. For a preview, we see a few minutes of the six man tag from the show. Here’s the whole thing:

Dino Bravo/Fabulous Rougeaus vs. Jim Duggan/Hart Foundation

2/3 falls here. Anvil vs. Bravo gets things going and they collide a few times with no one going anywhere. Both guys miss elbows and it’s off to Duggan for a BIG reaction. Ray Rougeau comes in and is immediately slammed down and hit by a knee drop. Hart comes in to a small but audible reaction and gets two each off a small package and a sunset flip. Jacques comes in and things break down a bit with all three heels being caught in one corner where Anvil drives shoulders into them, crushing Ray against the corner under two other guys.

Ray FINALLY gets something in by low bridging Bret to send him to the floor. At the end of the day, when you need someone to sell something you call on Bret. Dino’s side suplex puts Bret down and The Rougeau Bomb gets the first fall. Bret and Ray start things off in the second fall with Hart in big trouble. Jacques comes in and sends Bret into the corner for the traditional chest first bump in the corner which gives Dino two.

Bravo puts on a bear hug for a bit before it’s back to Jacques. A sunset flip gives Bret a quick breather but he’s immediately put in a camel clutch. Anvil makes the save but as he’s being put back in the corner, Ray comes in and puts the same hold back on. That’s good stuff there. The heels take turns working over Bret until Jacques puts on a Boston Crab. Gorilla wants Duggan or Neidhart to come in and break the hold up, because you’ve got five seconds. I love the hypocrisy you would get from him at times.

Bret breaks the hold and tags in Anvil but the referee didn’t see it. That’s such a basic spot but you don’t see it much anymore. Ray puts on an abdominal stretch before it’s off to Jacques for the exact same hold. Bret FINALLY hits an atomic drop to break up the momentum and there’s the white hot tag to Duggan. Anvil hits a slingshot shoulder on Ray and a Duggan elbow drop ties the match up at a fall apiece.

Duggan pounds on Ray to start before going to the wrong corner to try to beat up both guys. Bravo hammers away a bit but rams Duggan’s head into the buckle for no effect at all. Duggan gets punched over into the corner and there’s the tag to Hart. Everything breaks down and Duggan hits Bravo with the board to give Hart the pin.

Rating: C. This was fine but Duggan’s reactions are amazing. The guy was probably the third most over guy in the company at this point, which is covering a lot of ground given how over some of the guys were in 1989. This was fine for an opener but the ending was never quite in doubt, which is ok.

Summerslam is still coming. They haven’t changed anything.

Monsoon has found a replacement host for next week but won’t say who.

From the War Memorial in Rochester, New York on June 28, 1989.

Ultimate Warrior vs. Mike Williams

Tony thinks Williams (though commentary sounded like the said Graham, even though that is not Mike Graham) is stupid for taking the match and there’s a big running clothesline to put Williams on the floor. Rick Rude gives us an inset interview to brag about beating Warrior at Wrestlemania. Warrior throws Williams back inside, signals for the gorilla press, hits the gorilla press, and drops the splash for the easy pin at 1:56.

Post match, Warrior carries him to the back. I’m not sure I want to know.

Gorilla tells the production staff to increase security to keep the Heenan Family out of the studio.

It’s time for the Brother Love Show (which used to scare the daylights out of me back in the day) with special guest Sensational Sherri. We’re not done though, as Sherri brings out Randy Savage, who brags about how great he is. Neither Hulk Hogan nor Brutus Beefcake can beat him so maybe they’ll jump him in a parking lot.

That could be a problem but Savage is the world’s greatest problem solver. Therefore, here is Zeus, the Human Wrecking Machine (and character from No Holds Barred, because that’s what they’re actually doing). Zeus looks rather disturbed as Savage issues the challenge for the tag match. Even Zeus is in on the challenge and promises to destroy Hogan and Beefcake. Love is thrilled too, as you might have expected, and demands an answer from Hogan and Beefcake.

Dusty Rhodes is now working in a butcher shop (with an apron over his bare chest) and has his coworker Ernest explain what kind of meat we’re seeing here. They make some ground beef and you can’t beat Dusty’s prices. Or his meat. I want more Ernest.

Heenan returns to the studio and Monsoon is not the slightest bit surprised. Actually Heenan isn’t back but rather just stopping by, because next week, Heenan is getting his OWN SHOW. He rips up a bunch of the set and even takes his name plate with him. Monsoon will be begging him to be on the show and he’ll be able to smell the bananas coming out of his pores.

From the War Memorial in Rochester, New York on June 28, 1989.

Ted DiBiase vs. Mario Mancini

DiBiase taunts him with the Million Dollar Title to start and gets armdragged down for running his mouth too much. That earns Mancini a shot to the face and a clothesline as DiBiase gets more serious. A powerslam sets up the Million Dollar Dream to finish Mancini at 1:25.

Here’s the address where you can send get well cards to Jake Roberts, which is certainly not the way WWE refreshes its mailing list.

Brutus Beefcake is ready to cut Randy Savage and Sherri’s hair. Then he’ll beat them up.

The Brooklyn Brawler can’t believe high Bobby Heenan has taken him and he can’t believe how many wins he has.

The Bobby Heenan Show will indeed be on next week and Gorilla is as excited as we are.

From the War Memorial in Rochester, New York on June 28, 1989.

Hillbilly Jim vs. Boris Zhukov

Boris bails from the threat of a horseshoe and then bails again due to being a scared Russian. Back in and they lock up for the first time after more than a minute and take turns backing the other against the ropes. Jim stomps on his foot (which seems appropriate from him) and we hit the headlock.

With that broken up, Jim cartwheels away from the threat of a backdrop and stomps on Boris’ foot again. It’s time to start in on Boris’ leg but he comes back with a shot to the face. There’s a headbutt to rock Jim again but hold on as he needs to go look at the horseshoe. The distraction is enough for Jim to fight up, only to be sent into the corner. Boris charges into a raised boot in the corner to give Jim the pin at 4:38.

Rating: D+. He got pinned off running into a boot in the corner. What kind of a rating did you expect a match like this one to get? Nothing to see with the match, but the country boy beating up the Russian is going to work very well in the 80s. That’s the kind of thing you don’t get enough of today: very easily identifiable characters who you can understand in five seconds.

Monsoon promises a new cohost.

Monsoon again promises a new cohost to wrap up the show.

Overall Rating: C-. I know there isn’t much in the way of quality wrestling on the show but that’s not the point of Prime Time. This show is about making the people in the company look good and letting you know what you might be seeing if you take in a house show. Think of it like window shopping via television, and in that regard, it worked rather well. Fun show too, especially with such a focus on Monsoon vs. Heenan, which always worked.

 

 

 

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Royal Rumble 1990
Date: January 21, 1990
Location: Orlando Arena, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 16,000
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Jesse Ventura

We hit the 90s and there’s a bit of a new feel to the company with that new decade. Things are now being made to look a little newer and it’s probably a good thing that they are. Oh and there’s also probably the biggest moment in the Rumble for…..arguably ever actually so there’s that to look forward to. Let’s get to it.

We get the list of almost everyone in the Rumble to start just like last year.

Jesse Ventura in Mickey Mouse Ears is a scary sight.

Buschwhackers vs. Fabulous Rougeaus

We get ALL AMERICAN BOYS for the Rougeaus and Jacques has his MANLY beard. This is a Wrestlemania rematch from the previous year. We start with Butch vs. Ray and while this may sound like a stretch, I think this might be a comedy match. A quick sleeper by Ray is broken up and it’s time to bite the trunks as well as the referee for some reason. The Whackers clear the ring but Jacques hits the floor to avoid the Battering Ram.

Off to Luke vs. Jacques, with Luke taking a bite out of his nose. Jacques says hit me in the face, so Luke charges with a clothesline and hits Ray instead. Things slow down again and the Rougeaus easily distract Luke, allowing Ray to jump him for two. Ray comes in for real and kicks Luke down for two more. Luke is sent to the floor and goes back first into the apron. This match is already dragging.

Back in and Luke bites some more but it doesn’t get him anywhere. Luke gets rammed into the corner a bit, drawing Butch in which allows even more double teaming. We hit the chinlock followed by an abdominal stretch from Jacques. Now it’s off to a reverse chinlock to keep things slow.

We get the Arn Anderson cannonball drop onto a guy on the mat but the guy on the mat gets his knees up to crush Arn’s balls spot, followed by a hot tag to Butch. The Rougeaus are sent into each other and Jimmy Hart gets involved and beaten up. Jacques gets a quick rollup for two and Ray puts a Boston Crab on Butch. With the Rougeaus hugging for some reason, the Battering Ram to the back of Ray is enough for the pin by Butch.

Rating: D+. This was WAY too long at nearly fourteen minutes. The idea behind comedy matches is to keep things quick so that people don’t realize that half of the stuff you see here is stupid. The Rougeaus clearly didn’t care anymore and this would be the last match of Ray’s career. Jacques would go on to be the Mountie and win the Intercontinental Title, in one of the biggest surprises ever. Well not really but it was pretty surprising.

Gene is with DiBiase and Virgil and Ted is annoyed. Gene brings up the shenanigans last year with Ted “drawing” number thirty, but this year there’s additional security. Virgil drew the number for DiBiase and he got number 1. DiBiase’s “Let me tell you something little man” is a GREAT delivery as he’s so great at talking down to people.

The Genius vs. Brutus Beefcake

If you’re not familiar with Genius, think Damien Sandow if he read WWF themed poetry. Oh and he’s a jobber. And Macho Man’s real life brother. Genius offers a left-handed handshake but Brutus isn’t interested. Jesse gets on Tony about Genius beating Hogan via countout on SNME. Tony: “Well…..” Jesse: “WHO WON THE MATCH???” Genius heads to the floor for a cartwheel and we finally get the first lockup.

We get a clean break and Beefcake tells Genius what he can kiss. They lock up again and Genius goes to the eyes to get the first advantage. Beefcake comes out with an atomic drop and Genius gets to do his way overdone selling. I miss that. Back in and Genius fires off some shockingly good punches so Brutus comes back with an even bigger punch. Expect to hear the word punch a lot in this match.

Beefcake steps on Genius’ fingers like a total jerk and crotches Genius on the top rope. Half of Beefcake’s taunts would get him fired today for suggesting that Genius is effeminate. We go back to the standard story of the match: Genius gets in some strikes, Brutus hits him once to take over again. A dropkick gets two for Genius as does a rollup, but Brutus catches him coming off the middle rope with a punch to the ribs.

There’s the sleeper but Genius quickly escapes. Another sleeper attempt is quickly countered, but the Genius is knocked into the referee. Ref bumps weren’t cliched back in the 80s, so this is kind of a big development. Anyway the sleeper goes on again and Genius is going down quickly. Brutus puts him out and starts cutting his hair, but Genius’ buddy Mr. Perfect comes out for the save and the DQ.

Rating: D. This is one of those matches that was bad but it was energetic. For as much of a mess as Brutus would become in real life, the guy could get the fans fired up. That’s pretty impressive as he was almost all punching and a sleeper. This was pretty lame stuff but the fans loved it which is the right idea.

Perfect and Genius DESTROY Brutus’ ribs with the chair post match.

Sean Mooney is with the Heenan Family and suggests that they could fight each other. An argument ensues. That’s what Mooney was good at: ticking people off.

A show is coming. It’s called Wrestlemania.

Greg Valentine vs. Ronnie Garvin

This is a submission match as they both use submissions for a finisher. See? Not that complicated. Now the interesting thing here is that both guys have shin guards (Garvin even has his named: the Hammer Jammer) which blocks the pain of a Figure Four. They slug it out to start with Valentine being rammed into the buckles repeatedly. Greg comes back with chops and they slug it out in the middle of the ring.

It turns into a boxing match until Valentine goes after the leg. That gets him a thumb in the eye and they slug it out some more with both guys going down via a Garvin headbutt. Ronnie tries a sunset flip for reasons of stupidity and Valentine tries a cover of his own. Both guys go down again as this match is already running too long. Garvin rolls him up again to REALLY make it clear that it’s a submission match. See, wrestling fans are stupid and can’t understand the basic explanation of the rules.

Valentine adjusts his own shin guard (the Heartbreaker) and puts Garvin in the Figure Four. Ronnie’s guard blocks the pain, so Garvin makes funny faces at Valentine. Since that doesn’t work, Valentine puts on an over the shoulder backbreaker, much to Jesse’s delight (his old hold). Garvin pounds away in the corner and puts on an Indian Deathlock which has an effect on Greg but Valentine finally makes a rope.

They slug it out for the fifth time, although this one is at least on the floor. Valentine backdrops out of a piledriver on the concrete and we head back inside. Garvin misses a dropkick in the corner and gets caught in the Tree of Woe. That goes nowhere so they collide again and both guys go down. Hart steals Garvin’s shin guard and there’s the Figure Four. After a rope is grabbed, Garvin can’t even stand up.

Valentine goes up and Garvin slams him down from one leg. He takes off Valentine’s shin guard and tries a rollup because Ronnie is STUPID. Valentine gets tied up in the ropes so Garvin beats up Hart for fun. A shin guard shot to the head knocks out Valentine and the Sharpshooter (called a reverse Figure Four) makes Valentine give up.

Rating: C+. Not a bad match here and it was even good at times, but MAN it was long, running nearly seventeen minutes. On top of that, the stupid pin thing went WAY too long into the match. This is probably the best Garvin match I’ve ever seen, but that doesn’t really mean much as he absolutely sucks most of the time.

Mr. Perfect doesn’t like Beefcake trying to take advantage of the Genius and we get a look at the chair attack from earlier tonight. Perfect says he got #30 in the Rumble. Well he is perfect after all.

It’s time for the Brother Love Show. You might know Love as Bruce Prichard, or one of the Gut Check judges on Impact. This is his most famous role, as a parody of 80s televangelists. He talks about what it means to be a lady, and brings out the woman whose picture is in the dictionary next to the word lady: Queen Sherri. Love sucks up to her and says he also looked up the word peasant in the Book of Love. The Book of Love is the dictionary?

Anyway the point is Sapphire (Dusty’s chick) is the definition of a peasant, making her fat and ugly. Sapphire comes out and they make fun of her looks, clothes and whatever else you would expect them to make fun of, while not letting Sapphire say a word at all. Now they make fun of Dusty for being fat and Sapphire finally blasts Sherri. Savage and Dusty come out and it’s a big brawl. Even Brother Love gets in on it until security breaks it up. A dance party ensues between Dusty and Sapphire, resulting in Love being thrown to the floor.

Duggan doesn’t have much to say about his match with Boss Man.

Big Boss Man vs. Jim Duggan

Boss Man has clearly lost a TON of weight since last year and he looks much better as a result. Duggan knocks him to the floor in a bump that Boss Man couldn’t have taken a year ago. They slug it out on the floor with Duggan taking over for a bit. Back inside and Boss Man reverses a whip before crushing Duggan with a splash. Boss Man busts out an ENZIGURI to put Duggan down again. It really is amazing to see how much better Boss Man looks after being a big fat blob last year at this show.

Boss Man hits his running crotch attack on the ropes to keep Duggan in trouble but he makes the mistake of ramming Jim face first into the buckles. Duggan’s comeback is short lived though as Boss Man hits him in the back to take over again. He cannonballs down on Duggan’s ribs as this is a good physical fight so far.

That of course comes to a screeching halt as we hit a neck crank by the cop. Duggan fights up and makes a quick comeback, only to get caught by a knee lift to the ribs. Back to the neck crank followed by a bearhug which Duggan fails to break with some smacks to the head. Instead he falls into the ropes and the brawl continues.

They slug it out some more and Duggan clotheslines him out to the floor. Back in and more punching (notice a theme here?) ensues by Jim. Boss Man comes back with a clothesline but misses a top rope splash. They collide again to put both guys down but Slick slips the nightstick to Boss Man which draws the DQ.

Rating: C+. They definitely made the right move here by going with a pure brawl instead of anything resembling a wrestling match. The fans absolutely love Jim Duggan so there was no way the crowd wasn’t going to be into this. Not a good match from a quality standpoint, but it was very fun which is the better way to go sometimes.

Wrestlemania is still coming.

We get some promos from guys in the Rumble, most of which are spent talking about whoever they’re feuding with at the time: Earthquake, Bravo, Demolition, Bad News Brown, Dusty Rhodes, the Rockers, Hercules (calling it the Rumble Royal, which was the original name for the show actually), Rick Martel, Tito Santana, Snuka, Akeem (Slick does the talking) and Warrior (Intercontinental Champion), who talks about Hulk Hogan. This would have given fans chills up their spine at the thought of it happening but then they would say “Nah, that couldn’t happen.”

More promos as we’re in intermission: Savage, the Powers of Pain (Fuji does the talking), Roberts, the Hart Foundation, Honky Tonk Man and Hogan (WWF Champion of course) who looks either bloated or high as a kite.

Royal Rumble

DiBiase is #1 and Koko B. Ware is #2. Ted jumps Koko as he gets in and stomps him down. The beating goes on for awhile until trying to ram Koko’s head into the buckle, which has no effect. See Koko is black and in WWF logic, that means he has a hard head. Koko fights back and misses a charge, sending him to the floor. Marty Jannetty is in at #3 and in literally one second less time, basically the exact same thing happens as did to Koko (minus the racial aspects) and Marty goes out.

Jake Roberts is #4 and they fight on the floor which I think is a first in the Rumble. DiBiase slams him on the floor before they head back inside. A backdrop puts DiBiase down but the DDT is countered into another backdrop. They keep brawling and #5 is Randy Savage. DiBiase and Savage forget their past hatred to double team Jake for awhile until Roddy Piper is #6, setting up one of those AWESOME tag matches we never got. Seriously, that would be excellent on a Coliseum Video.

Piper and Jake beat up the heels, nearly punch each other, and then beat up the heels even more. The energy for this match is WAY better than the previous two years, which is saying a lot. Warlord is #7 and he should be solid cannon fodder for some of these guys. Piper pairs off with him as DiBiase and Savage continue their beatdown on Roberts. Roddy makes the save until Bret Hart is #8, drawing a BIG pop.

We get a six man tag for all intents and purposes, which would be another pretty interesting one with Bret being there to bump like crazy for Warlord. Bret goes after Savage, which would be great like their match on SNME. Bad News is #9 as the good run of talent continues. Jake loads up a DDT on DiBiase but Savage clotheslines him out, which is probably a good idea given how many people we’ve got out there.

Dusty Rhodes is #10 and the place continues to erupt. He heads right for Savage as you would expect him do and it’s elbows a go-go. A backdrop puts Savage out and we get Brown vs. Dusty for awhile, which I’m not sure what to think of. DiBiase takes Brown’s place which is probably the right idea. Andre is #11 and the fans aren’t sure what to think of this. Warlord goes right to him and gets tossed to a big pop. The fans still love the Giant.

Heenan and Fuji get into a fight on the floor as Andre rams Piper and Dusty’s heads together before crushing them in the corner. They come back on him and it’s the Red Rooster at #12. Even HE gets a bit of a pop before people realize that’s who just came out. Piper eliminates Brown but Brown comes back to the apron and eliminates Piper. They brawl to the back, setting up one of the strangest matches you’ll ever see at Mania.

Andre beats up Rooster and tosses him out as Ax is #13. Their teams are fighting over the tag titles at this point so there’s a story there. Hart and Rhodes try to throw out DiBiase and we get the traditional Andre is tied up in the ropes spot. Haku, Andre’s partner, is #14. Andre stands on Ax as Haku beats on Dusty. Things slow down a bit, which is understandable after the very hot first twenty minutes.

Smash is #15, giving us a group of Ax, Smash, Haku, Andre, Hart, DiBiase and Dusty. Demolition demolishes Andre down for the second time in two years before going off to beat on Haku. Rhodes and Hart beat on Dusty as people swap partners a bit. Akeem is #16 to give us another big fat guy in there. He goes after the Giant, but it’s a Demolition double clothesline that eliminates Andre. I’ve always loved that moment. Bret went out somewhere in there too.

Here’s Snuka at #17 to go after Akeem and take him out with a running headbutt. Ted and Dusty hammer away on each other a bit more until Dino Bravo is #18 with his manly powder blood trunks. Demolition beats up DiBiase and Earthquake is #19. There’s another team getting back to back numbers. Rhodes is out at Earthquake’s hands, as is Ax. Neidhart is #20, giving us Neidhart, Earthquake, Haku, Bravo, Snuka, Smash and DiBiase. Everyone gangs up on Earthquake and eliminates him, much to Bravo’s chagrin.

Neidhart and Smash work together on DiBiase, which would be unthinkable in about eight months. Here’s Warrior at #21 to go right after Bravo. They’ve got a bit of a feud going right now so Warrior dumps him with ease. Things slow down until Martel is in at #22. Haku backdrops Smash to the apron and superkicks him out. We were getting too many people in there so that’s a good idea.

Tito is #23 and of course we get a Strike Force battle, as they feuded for like, ever. Honky Tonk Man is #24 as things slow down a bit. We need another blast of energy in this soon. A bunch of people get together and dump Neidhart and Warrior clotheslines DiBiase out, giving him a new Iron Man record at just under 45 minutes. At the moment we’ve got Warrior, Honky, Martel, Santana, Snuka and Haku. Remember that blast of energy I said we needed? Hulk Hogan is #25.

Snuka goes after him and is immediately put out. Haku takes a big boot and is gone. Warrior and Martel dump Santana and we’re down to four in the ring. Shawn Michaels is #26. Hogan dumps Honky and it occurs to me that for some reason the entrance music for people stopped after like #6. Hogan dumps Honky, Warrior dumps Shawn and Martel and there are only two left in the ring.

This is the moment that changed the course of wrestling for a LONG time. You often hear the expression “everyone is on their feet”. In this case, that’s literally true as the place goes nuts and everyone in unison stands up. It’s a really cool visual and proof that this would work for Wrestlemania. They collide a few times and no one moves.

We get a criss cross to set up a double clothesline to put both guys down and the place is eating this up. As I said, this changed wrestling because we now have a Wrestlemania main event, instead of the potential Hogan vs. Zeus or Hogan vs. Perfect. Perfect is great, but it wouldn’t have worked as the main event in front of 67,000 people. Anyway Barbarian comes in at #27 and doesn’t do much so Rick Rude comes in like twenty second early at #28. I’ve always wondered if that was intentional to prevent more of just Hogan vs. Warrior.

The heels double team Hogan to put him down but Warrior saves. They beat up Warrior a bit until Hogan Hulks Up and goes to the corner, eliminating Warrior in the process. Hercules is #29, which is pretty awesome luck as he got #28 the year before. Hogan tries to put Barbarian out but gets poked in the eye. Perfect is #30, giving us a final five of Hogan, Rude, Barbarian, Hercules and Perfect.

Hercules backdrops Barbarian out to get us down to four and we pair off with Herc vs. Rude and Perfect vs. Hogan. Rude backdrops the power dude out and we’re down to a handicap match. I think you can see how this is going to end. A quick double team ends with Perfect getting punched to the apron by Rude. Perfect low bridges Rude out and we’re down to two. Hennig pounds away and hits the PerfectPlex but it’s time for more Hulking Up. Slingshot into the post, clothesline, Hogan wins.

Rating: A-. THIS IS MORE LIKE IT! They totally got the formula down here and had a white hot crowd to do it in front of. The first twenty minutes or so here are just about perfect with a ton of talented guys working HARD. The next big drags just slightly but certainly aren’t bad, and then things went through the roof with Hogan vs. Warrior and the ending. Perfect was supposed to win here, but Hogan vetoed it and got the win himself. The more I think about that the less I dislike it because after the first two matches, you almost had to have a main eventer win this. Either way, great stuff here and one of the best Rumbles ever.

Overall Rating: B-. This is one of those tricky shows to rate as you have four pretty weak matches to start things off, but the Rumble is great and is longer than all four other matches combined. The Rumble is all that mattered here anyway and we got a great one to really establish a standard for the match for years to come. Also Wrestlemania is shaping up really well, so I don’t have many complaints here at all. Good stuff.

Ratings Comparison

Bushwhackers vs. Fabulous Rougeaus

Original: D+
Redo: D+

Brutus Beefcake vs. The Genius

Original: C+
Redo: D

Ronnie Garvin vs. Greg Valentine

Original: F (Biased). B- (Unbiase).
Redo: C+

Jim Duggan vs. Big Boss Man

Original: C+
Redo: C+

Royal Rumble

Original: A-
Redo: A-

Overall Rating

Original: C-
Redo: B-

Dang the weight of the Rumble has gone way up in the last few years.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Survivor Series 1988
Date: November 24, 1988
Location: Richfield Coliseum, Richfield, Ohio
Attendance: 13,500
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Jesse Ventura

It’s one of my favorite times of the wrestling year as we’re up to Survivor Series. As usual I’m redoing an old show to go with last year’s, and this time around it’s from my favorite era. The vote went to the 1988 edition and that means the Mega Powers are running wild. Other than that, there’s a heck of a tag team showcase. Let’s get to it.

In a sign of the times, there’s no opening sequence and we go straight to the announcers welcoming us to the show.

Team Ultimate Warrior vs. Team Honky Tonk Man

Ultimate Warrior, Brutus Beefcake, Jim Brunzell, Sam Houston, Blue Blazer
Honky Tonk Man, Bad News Brown, Danny Davis, Ron Bass, Greg Valentine

Warrior took the Intercontinental Title from Honky Tonk Man about two months ago. Everyone else is just kind of thrown in, including Brunzell, who is replacing Don Muraco after Don left the company. Even the announcers think it’s a bad idea to have Brown on a team. Beefcake hammers on Valentine (See what I did there?) to start but Davis, the EVIL referee, knees Beefcake from the apron.

Not that it matters as Brutus slaps on the sleeper and Davis is done in less than a minute and a half. Honestly, what else were you supposed to do with him? Valentine comes back in and Jesse gets on Beefcake for not tagging out (which was actually a problem for him last year too). Blazer (Owen Hart as a superhero) comes in off the top to start on Valentine’s arm until Brunzell gets the tag to do the same.

The great looking dropkick plants Greg but Brown makes a blind tag and beats the tar out of Brunzell. Bad News finally gets tired of it and scores the elimination off a Ghetto Blaster (enziguri, a pretty awesome looking move at the time). The rather skinny dancing cowboy (it was a different time) Sam Houston comes in and gets hammered in the chest (Jesse: “Welcome to the big time kid.”), followed by a clothesline (which also hammers him in the chest).

Valentine comes in and hits Brown by mistake so Bad News walks out, as you kind of knew he would. That’s a great way to protect him, especially when he’d be getting some World Title shots on the house show circuit in January and February. Houston tries a sunset flip but gets punched in the face and it’s off to Bass (the evil cowboy). Another sunset flip doesn’t work as Houston needs to find something else. A powerslam plants Houston, just as I realize that he looks like someone let the air out of Tito Santana.

Warrior comes in and drops Bass with a right hand and a corner clothesline. Honky Tonk Man and Valentine are knocked away as well as the fans are going nuts. A Rocket Launcher gives Blazer two on Bass and Honky Tonk Man gets dropkicked into the corner. Blazer powerslams Valentine down but Honky Tonk shoves him off the top, setting up a Figure Four to make Blazer give up. Superman has Kyptonite, Martian Manhunter has fire and Blue Blazer has leg submissions.

Beefcake comes in and Jesse actually brings up their partnership. So we’re down to Beefcake/Warrior vs. Valentine/Honky Tonk Man/Bass and Beefcake is in trouble. The Shake Rattle and Roll is broken up with a backdrop and a right hand knocks Honky Tonk Man out of the air. There’s the atomic drop for the funny sell job but Beefcake STILL won’t tag. Seriously dude learn your lesson already.

Beefcake grabs the sleeper but he and Honky Tonk Man fall out to the floor. The sleeper goes on outside and that’s a double countout to get us down to 2-1. The double teaming begins in a hurry and Warrior is in trouble in the corner. A double clothesline takes the villains down and back to back ax handles give Warrior the win at 17:51.

Rating: C. This wasn’t great but it was a good choice for the opener. The fans are going to eat up Warrior and Beefcake every time and those were some fine choices for villains to dispatch. There was no way Warrior was going to lose here though and it was nothing more than a showcase for his new title reign. That’s hardly a problem as it worked the previous year, albeit with some far, far better talent.

Team Demolition vs. Team Powers of Pain

Demolition/Brain Busters/Bolsheviks/Fabulous Rougeau Brothers/Los Conquistadors
Powers of Pain/Rockers/British Bulldogs/Hart Foundation/Young Stallions

Here’s a famous one and to clear up a common misconception: this is NOT the only time Bret and Shawn teamed up as they were together on some house shows in the 90s. All the managers are here too, making this one of the best who’s whos in wrestling history. As you might guess, any wrestler being eliminated means his partner is gone as well.

Davey Boy Smith and Conquistador #1 start things off and I’m not going to bother mentioning every tag. With so many people to feature, there’s not going to be much more than a few seconds of action for each. Shawn gets taken into the wrong corner, though there are wrestlers almost surrounding the apron, which means we need a variety of camera angles to make sure we can see most of the early action.

Marty dropkicks Arn (who Jesse praises) down so it’s off to Tully as I really want to see Bret in there now. Instead it’s Jacques coming in and missing a middle rope crossbody, allowing a tag off to Dynamite Kid. Ray Rougeau comes in and it’s a good thing Dynamite doesn’t break his nose. Bret comes in and a quick small package gets rid of the Rougeaus so we can have a little room.

It’s off to Neidhart, who is quickly caught in the wrong corner. An awkward looking clothesline takes Smash down and it’s Barbarian coming in for the real showdown. That always awesome big boot takes Smash’s head off and it’s back to Bret to hammer away on Ax’s ribs. Tully comes in with a top rope shot to the ribs as this should get entertaining in a hurry. Shawn and Ax get the tags and it’s time to demolish Michaels, which will never get old. It’s off to Nikolai Volkoff for the gorilla press backbreaker (albeit a sloppy one), followed by a great looking spinebuster from Anderson. You can hear the fans react to it as well, which they certainly should.

A Conquistador comes in and gives up a hot tag to Jannetty. The rapid tags continue until it’s Davey’s turn to take Nikolai’s kick to the ribs. Tully misses an elbow drop though and it’s off to the Warlord vs. Ax for the big showdown of the match. Warlord gets the better of it and trips the now legal Smash down just as easily. It’s already off to Barbarian for a running knee to the ribs as another team needs to be eliminated in short order. Tully comes back in and walks into a gorilla press hot shot, followed by a powerslam from Neidhart for two.

Next up is Dynamite getting stomped down so it’s off to Jim Powers to hammer on Zhukov. Boris rolls through a middle rope crossbody though and gets rid of Powers to tie things up. Shawn comes back in to speed things up again, including a middle rope fist drop for a near fall. It’s back to Tully who sees Barbarian waiting on him and struts over to Volkoff for the tag. The Russian actually takes over and hands it off to Ax, who hammers Barbarian down without much effort.

It’s Shawn back in a few seconds later and a blind tag allows Marty to sunset flip Boris for the pin and an elimination. As has been the custom so far though, Marty gets beaten down just after having some success. It’s right back to the Bulldog to face Tully with a hard toss sending Blanchard into the corner. The next tag in a very, very long series of them brings in Neidhart for something like a Demolition Decapitator on Dos. Dynamite with his sweet 70s mustache comes in for a middle rope knee and it’s back to Barbarian.

Hang on a second though as Bobby needs to give Tully some instructions before he gets pounded down. The advice seems to be a tag to Smash, who hammers Barbarian down for a neck crank. That goes nowhere either so it’s off to Neidhart to suplex Blanchard, followed by a backbreaker from Bret. They head into the corner with Bret trying a German suplex but Tully raises an arm for the pin and an elimination.

We’re down to the Powers of Pain/Rockers/British Bulldogs vs. Demolition/Brain Busters/Conquistadors with Dynamite getting two on Tully off a Tombstone. Shawn comes in and it’s a four way brawl between the Brain Busters and the Rockers, drawing a double DQ to really clear the ring out some more. The fans are NOT pleased with that but we’re at nearly half an hour into this with four teams left so it’s something that had to be done.

Ax cranks on Dynamite’s neck as the four eliminated guys fight to the back. Davey comes in and crucifixes Ax for two, only to get sent hard into the corner. It’s back to Dynamite for some forearms to Smash’s head but, as has been the case all match long, the tag is just allowed with little resistance offered. Davey gorilla presses and powerslams Uno but it’s right back to Ax vs. Barbarian with the latter being hammered down. Jesse talks about this being the dream match, which we’ve heard multiple times now.

Dos comes in and eats a double back elbow for, uh, dos, followed by Dynamite getting the same off a gutwrench suplex. A big legdrop from Warlord gets no cover and both Jesse and Gorilla are all over him for such a stupid mistake. To top that, Dynamite does the same thing for probably the fourth time tonight. The snap suplex to Smash sets up the diving headbutt but Dynamite only hits the mat, giving Smash the pin. That’s it for the Bulldogs in the WWF as Dynamite’s back was basically held together by gum and paperclips at this point. Throw in a fight with the Rougeau Brothers and there was just no future for them here.

Warlord goes shoulder first into the post and Ax hammers away as Jesse still can’t believe that the Conquistadors are still around. Fair enough point actually. Demolition’s manager Mr. Fuji gets on the apron to yell at Ax despite the team being in control. That’s rather odd and sounds quite a bit like a plot point. A neck crank slows things down again but Warlord shoves Smash to the ropes, which Fuji pulls down to send Smash outside. Ax goes over to check on his partner but Smash is counted out to get us down to two on two.

Fuji and Ax get in an argument with Fuji hitting him with the cane. Smash is up though and slams Fuji down before leaving. The Powers of Pain go to check on Fuji though and we’ve got the ultra rare double turn. I mean, it didn’t really work immediately but it does solve the problem of BRINGING IN THE POWERS OF PAIN AS FACES. It’s one thing to have a pair of power brawlers as faces when they have the Legion of Doom’s charisma but that’s certainly not the case here. So the Conquistadors hammer on Warlord until Fuji trips Dos up, allowing Barbarian to drop a headbutt and FINALLY wrap this up at 42:24.

Rating: A-. The amazing roster is what people remember the most here and I can’t say I blame them. The double turn is cool and all but sweet goodness it’s hard to remember that when you see all the talent in this thing. You might never see a better collection of talent (and the Young Stallions) in a single match. The problem here though is having too many people around, making it pretty difficult to have anyone stand out. It’s a very good match though and easily the highlight of the night.

Demolition comes back in to brawl with the Powers of Pain.

Bad News Brown doesn’t care about Survivor Series but thinks he should be the WWF World Champion. He’s beaten everyone who has been put against him, including winning the Wrestlemania battle royal. It’s kind of odd to see them reference something from that long ago at this point and I rather like it. Now I’d like to get away from Brown as those big eyes are still intimidating.

Gorilla and Jesse discuss Brown as the intermission continues.

Fuji is with the Powers of Pain and thinks Demolition was getting too overconfident so it’s time for a new team. Barbarian actually talks, which is certainly a rarity in this company. Gene doesn’t think Fuji can be trusted, and I for one believe Mean Gene Okerlund.

Gorilla and Jesse don’t have much on that one, as it pretty much speaks for itself.

We look at the remaining two matches in those always awesome squares. The sobering/surprising part: of the heels in the next match, Harley Race, the veteran at this point, is the only one still alive. Even the managers are both gone.

Team Andre is ready for their match with Bobby Heenan saying everyone is going to be afraid of Andre. For reasons that I don’t want to fathom, Dino Bravo is co-captain and promises to put some shame in Jim Duggan. Rick Rude, Mr. Perfect and Andre all say they’ll win. Harley Race doesn’t get to say anything. How rude indeed.

Team Mega Powers is united and ready to fight. Koko B. Ware, Hercules and Hillbilly Jim all come off as filler and it’s hard to fathom that they’re in a pay per view main event. Well maybe not Hercules.

Team Jake Roberts vs. Team Andre the Giant

Jake Roberts, Jim Duggan, Ken Patera, Scott Casey, Tito Santana
Andre the Giant, Dino Bravo, Harley Race, Rick Rude, Mr. Perfect

Patera is a strongman, Casey is a jobber to the stars (He’s replacing B. Brian Blair, who was replacing Junkyard Dog. He also went on to train Booker T.) and the main feuds here are Jake vs. Andre and Duggan vs. Bravo. In an odd thing to hear, Perfect is introduce as Mr. Perfect Curt Hennig. Rude and Patera start things off with Ken shoving him away as Gorilla talks about Patera retiring him.

Bravo comes in for a really bad power battle. Thankfully it doesn’t last long, though Jesse does manage to get in his talk about Bravo’s bench pressing abilities. It’s off to the awesome matchup of Jake vs. Perfect (who I really hope had a 20+ minute match at some point) with Roberts getting the better of it and handing it off to Tito (who also should have gone 20+ with Perfect). Bravo comes back in and gets his arm cranked on for a bit. Casey hits an ax handle but walks into an atomic drop.

It’s off to Race for a belly to belly before handing it off to Rude. A headbutt staggers Perfect and it’s off to Patera for an elbow to the face. Duggan comes in to a heck of a reaction and clotheslines the heck out of Perfect. A right hand in the corner staggers him again but Andre reaches over the ropes and grabs Duggan’s head to take over. Gorilla turns this into an ad for the Royal Rumble in a pivot that would have made Vince proud.

Tito hits something like the flying forearm for two on Rude but Duggan misses an elbow drop. A double collision puts Rude and Duggan down and it’s back to Patera. Since Ken isn’t all that good though, he charges into a boot in the corner and the Rude Awakening makes it 5-4. Casey charges in and gets dropkicked down by Race, followed by Bravo’s side slam for the pin. Duggan comes in swinging away as his team is suddenly in BIG trouble. Unfortunately he winds up in the wrong corner as well (he never was all that bright) and the one sided beating continues.

Duggan finally gets away for a clothesline and it’s off to Race vs. Santana (sweet goodness the teases of awesome matches in this one are almost too much to take). That one doesn’t last too long though as Bravo comes back in and gets sunset flipped for two more. Race comes in again and grabs the piledriver for two (that probably should have been a finisher), only to walk into Tito’s flying forearm for the pin.

Santana’s reward is Andre, who chops him down with ease and hammers away like King Kong swatting at a fly. For some reason Tito tries a sunset flip and Andre sits/falls on him for the elimination. We’re down to Andre/Perfect/Rude/Bravo vs. Roberts/Duggan, with the latter knocking Andre into the ropes. Jake comes in and chokes away, only to have Rude tag himself in and knock Jake into the corner.

We hit the hip swivel and it’s off to Perfect, who I bet can do a mean swivel of his own. Jake is in trouble but manages to clothesline Bravo (who would be the weak link of the team), only to have Rude clothesline him from the apron. One heck of a right hand puts Roberts down, allowing Dino to grab a piledriver of his own. That’s only good for two as well, allowing Duggan to come in off another hot tag. The three point clothesline is loaded up but Bravo’s manager Frenchy Martin (a worthless and rather bulbous excuse for a manager if there ever was one) pulls him to the floor.

Duggan has had enough and brings in the 2×4 to blast Bravo in the ribs, making it 4-1. Roberts gets to deal with Perfect first and knees him away, meaning it’s time for more Bravo. For some reason Jake tries a test of strength and is quickly taken down. The threat of a DDT is blocked with a back body drop and Bravo brings Rude in again.

Rick slowly hammers Jake down as Jesse suggests that Jake’s wife Cheryl will leave Jake for Rude if Jake loses. A quickly broken bearhug has Jake in trouble but he pulls Rude’s tights down. It’s enough of a distraction for a DDT to get rid of Rude but it’s Andre time. The choking ensues and Andre is quickly disqualified but Jake is more or less dead, giving Perfect the easy pin at 30:02.

Rating: C. This was another long match but it told a good story. The villains were COMPLETELY dominant here and Duggan and Roberts were the only ones who could do anything. It makes Jake and Duggan look good, but they were overmatched by the whole team. It keeps the feuds ready for next time when the heroes can fight back. It’s a smart story and things are set up well for the future. The match wasn’t the worst and it’s nice to have the whole version as the Coliseum Video version cut this down to EIGHT MINUTES.

Team Twin Towers is ready to destroy the Mega Powers. You’re not going to do that chums. For some reason the camera goes into an EXTREME closeup on Boss Man when he’s talking about crushing Hogan. That was a heck of a disturbing visual.

Team Mega Powers vs. Team Twin Towers

Hulk Hogan, Randy Savage, Koko B. Ware, Hillbilly Jim, Hercules
Big Boss Man, Akeem, Ted DiBiase, King Haku, Ted Rooster

Akeem is freshly off his transformation from the One Man Gang. Also, sweet goodness that’s quite the fall for DiBiase, who was helping to get the title off Hogan just ten months earlier. Of note here: Hogan gets his own entrance while the rest of the team comes out on their own. What a selfish hero. Hercules wants to start with DiBiase (who recently purchased Hercules and called him a slave) but it’s Savage starting for the team instead. Somehow we don’t get a reference to Wrestlemania and it’s off to Hercules after a clothesline from Savage.

Rooster comes in and stops Koko in the corner as I wonder how we got two bird brains in the main event. It’s already back to Hercules to slug it out with Haku but he hands it off to Hogan in short order. A double big boot with Hillbilly helping Hulk drops Haku but it’s quickly back to the Rooster. My goodness they’re tagging fast tonight. The Rooster tries to ram Koko’s head into the corner and the powers of racial stereotypes takes over. A missile dropkick puts Rooster down and Savage drops the elbow for the first elimination.

The good guys clear the ring and we take a brief break as Heenan apologizes for his man losing so quickly. Haku comes in and pokes Hogan in the eye and a heck of a dropkick puts him down. Hercules comes in, gets slammed, and it’s right back to Hillbilly. Thanks for coming in Herc. Akeem splashes Jim in the corner a few times and the running splash ties things up. Koko comes back in and throws a few right hands before Hogan comes back in instead. There really is no hiding the fact that this is ALL about Hogan and Savage (as it should be of course).

Koko and Hercules take turns hammering on Akeem until Koko misses a charge in the corner. The Boss Man Slam gets rid of Ware and it’s 4-3. Boss Man turns around and gets Hogan, drawing a heck of a reaction from the crowd. Right hands set up a slam on the Boss Man but Hogan charges into a spinebuster (still weird for that to not have an official name). The running crotch attack has Hogan in more trouble and it’s off to DiBiase for a clothesline. That’s already enough for the Hulk Up and an atomic drop but Hogan is nice enough to hand it off to Hercules.

The beating is on (Jesse: “A slave doing this to his master!”) and some clotheslines have DiBiase in trouble until Virgil trips him up. DiBiase grabs a rollup to get rid of Hercules but Savage is smart enough to run in and grab a rollup of his own to eliminate DiBiase. That leaves the Twin Towers/Haku vs. the Mega Powers and it should be a matter of time now. Savage leg dives Haku and brings in Hogan, who eats a superkick to put Hulk in trouble. The Towers take turns beating Hulk down and we hit the nerve hold from Haku.

For some reason Boss Man tries a top rope splash and, of course, misses completely. The hot tag brings in Savage but Slick makes a quick trip (WAY too common of an idea on this show). Slick grabs Miss Elizabeth and of course you know this means war. It’s Hogan making the save but Boss Man cuffs him to the ropes, which takes too long, earning himself a countout. Boss Man beats the heck out of Hogan with the nightstick before doing the same thing to Savage.

That’s enough to DQ Akeem and unfortunately we don’t get the over the top Jesse reaction. Haku misses an elbow on Savage and of course Slick taunts the cuffed Hogan with the key. A missed superkick takes Slick down and Elizabeth steals the key, freeing Hogan as Savage is being mauled. Haku’s top rope splash gets two and another superkick puts Savage in the corner for the tag. The big boot and legdrop wrap things up at 29:08.

Rating: C+. This really was just about the last five minutes and maybe Hercules vs. DiBiase to a much lesser degree. At this point though, you need as much hype towards Hogan vs. Savage as you can have and five months in advance is more than acceptable. It’s not a great match or even close to one but it was entertaining and accomplished the primary goal. You can’t ask for much more than that.

Hogan poses and hugs Elizabeth without even checking on Savage. Randy poses as well but clearly isn’t cool with all this. I love how Hogan was made the face in this whole thing. Today he would be the top heel in about five minutes but there was no way that was working in 1988.

Overall Rating: B. While not as good as the first edition, this show more than holds its own and has a classic (albeit a VERY long one) to bolster some not great action otherwise. There’s a story/point to every match and they did a good job of further establishing the concept. It was hardly a played out idea at this point and the matches were given ample time (too much in some cases) to flesh out the pretty new match. It’s so weird to see this as more of a stepping stone to Wrestlemania, which was the be all and end all even back then. Good show this year but not as good as the first edition.

Ratings Comparison

Team Ultimate Warrior vs. Team Honky Tonk Man

Original: D
2012 Redo: C
2017 Redo: C

Team Powers of Pain vs. Team Demolition

Original: A
2012 Redo: A
2017 Redo: A-

Team Andre the Giant vs. Team Jim Duggan

Original: F
2012 Redo: C-
2017 Redo: C

Team Mega Powers vs. Team Twin Towers

Original: D+
2012 Redo: C+
2017 Redo: C+

Overall Rating

Original: D+
2012 Redo: B
2017 Redo: B

I must have been in a really, really bad mood the first time I watched this as only the second match is in the same ballpark. Everything else is pretty much the same and I think we have my definitive take on this show.

Here’s the original if you’re interested:

 

And the 2012 Redo:

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Survivor Series 1988
Date: November 24, 1988
Location: Richfield Coliseum, Richfield, Ohio
Attendance: 13,500
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Jesse Ventura

It’s year number two of the series and there’s a new champion in the form of the Macho Man. He and Hogan have formed the Mega Powers and are in the main event tonight against the Twin Towers who are neither twins nor towers, but they’re two monsters in the forms of Big Boss Man and Akeem, formerly the One Man Gang. There are only four matches again here but it’s a long show as well. Let’s get to it.

Gorilla and Jesse go over the rules (elimination rules, pin/submission/countout/DQ for an elimination) and we’re ready to go.

Team Ultimate Warrior vs. Team Honky Tonk Man

Ultimate Warrior, Brutus Beefcake, Sam Houston, Jim Brunzell, Blue Blazer
Honky Tonk Man, Bad News Brown, Danny Davis, Ron Bass, Greg Valentine

This is fallout from Warrior winning the title at Summerslam. Brunzell is subbing for Don Muraco who has left the company at this point. That’ll be a recurring theme tonight. Valentine and Beefcake starts us off, making it the second year in a row that Beefcake has opened for his team. It’s quickly off to Davis and the sleeper puts him out in less than a minute and a half. Well to be fair there’s no reason for him to be around anyway. Valentine charges right back in to continue the war of the original Dream Team, which I doubt most people would remember at this point.

Greg goes after the legs as is his custom, but since we’re only about three minutes into the match, the Figure Four is broken up. Well to be fair everyone says that Valentine doesn’t get warmed up for about ten or fifteen minutes so he’s still looking for his keys at this point. Off to the Blazer (played by then mostly unknown Owen Hart) who drops an ax handle onto Valentine, giving us the trademark slow fall.

Valentine goes for the arm (not a hammer lock which takes away the irony of it) but Blazer easily takes him down with a headscissors and brings in Brunzell. The Killer Bees were gone at this point so he’s just a guy in trunks. He’s a guy in trunks with a good leapfrog though as he clears Valentine with a lot of room to spare, only to get slammed down. Brunzell pops up and hits the dropkick but it’s off to Bad News. Sweet goodness was this guy born in the wrong generation. Imagine him after the rise of MMA, remembering that he’s a legitimate Olympic bronze medalist in judo.

Brown comes in like the headhunter he’s known as and kills Brunzell with a clothesline. Brunzell tries some basic stuff so Brown kicks him in the chest and beats on him in the corner. Brunzell misses a charge in the corner and the Ghetto Blaster (enziguri) gets the easy pin to tie things up. Brutus comes in and grabs Brown so Houston, one of the least intimidating guys ever, can come off the top with a double ax.

Houston misses a charge in the corner and Brown pounds on him like a stupid looking dancing white boy. A clothesline takes Houston’s head off and here’s Valentine. Make that Brown again and Valentine accidentally hits Brown. That ticks off Bad News and he walks off. That’s not a face turn. He just didn’t like anybody. Houston tries to steal a pin on Valentine but Greg is like boy please.

Off to Bass in a match that I think happened before in the NWA. A rollup gets two for Houston but he charges into another boot in the corner. That’s a popular move in this match. A middle rope cross body gets two for Sam and a forearm from Bass takes his head off for two. Houston’s monkey flip is countered into a powerslam and he’s gone, thank goodness. The guy is just not interesting or good at all.

Warrior comes in to fire the crowd up and attacks everyone left on the other team (Valentine, Bass and Honky vs. Warrior, Beefcake and Blazer at the moment). Honky comes in because he’s not that bright and there he goes, flying through the air off a shoulder tackle. Off to Bass who gets slammed down and hit with a Rocket Launcher from Blazer. Honky comes in and is cross bodied down immediately. A monkey flip and dropkick have Honky in even more trouble so it’s off to Valentine.

Owen gets crotched on the head of Valentine during a leapfrog but apparently Blazer has balls of steel because he suplexes Valentine down and drops a knee for two. Blazer goes up but Honky shoves him off, sending Owen down onto his knee. The Figure Four means a quick elimination by Valentine and we’re down to 3-2. Off to Beefcake vs. Valentine and Jesse mentions that these guys were not only a team but tag champions. Why is that such an afterthought?

Off to Bass who also has history with Beefcake but that isn’t mentioned here, despite it happening like three months before this. A headbutt keeps Beefcake down and it’s back to Elvis Man. His contribution is ramming Beefcake’s head into Bass’ boot and tagging in Valentine. Well no one ever accused him of being a ring general. After Warrior charges in like an idiot, it’s back to Honky for Shake Rattle and Roll, but Brutus backdrops out of it to start his comeback.

Back to Bass who hits a top rope clothesline to keep the advantage and brings in Honky who goes up. Beefcake punches him in the ribs because Honky is about as fast as Arn Anderson at going to the top. Beefcake wins a slugout and we get the eternally funny selling of an atomic drop by Honky. There’s the sleeper but Man dumps them to the floor and they fight to a countout.

This leaves us with Valentine and Bass vs. Ultimate Warrior. Gee I wonder what’s going to happen. A double clothesline puts Warrior down but Valentine can only get two. More double teaming works for a bit but Warrior gets to the ropes and starts shaking. Another double clothesline doesn’t work and an ax handle each gets the two pins to make Warrior the sole survivor.

Rating: C. Not the best match in the world but for a midcard match it was fine. Warrior was insanely over here (as well as insane in general but that’s another talk for later on) and the fans erupted for his comeback at the end. The rest of it is just ok and there’s nothing wrong with that. This was the right choice for an opener though.

Team Demolition vs. Team Powers of Pain

Powers of Pain, Rockers, British Bulldogs, Hart Foundation, Young Stallions
Demolition, Brain Busters, Bolsheviks, Fabulous Rougeaus, Conquistadors

Now here’s a famous match. Demolition won the titles at Wrestlemania and are rapidly becoming faces based purely on fan reactions. They’re with Mr. Fuji here. These are the same rules as last year, meaning if a member of a team is beaten, he and his partner are both gone. Los Conquistadores are masked guys and would probably be played by different guys every night. My guess here would be Jose Estrada and Jose Luis Rivera here.

British Bulldog starts with let’s say Conquistador Uno. It’s quickly off to Jacques who was having legit backstage issues with the Bulldogs at this point. Off to Zhukov vs. Shawn and Michaels moonsaults out of the corner ala Daniel Bryan. Marty comes in and I’m not likely going to mention every tag here given how fast they’re happening. Ax comes in to pound on Jannetty and it’s off to Arn Anderson of the Brainbusters. Tully comes in and gets beaten up in the face corner for his efforts.

Jacques is tagged to be the fourth heel in about a minute and a half. Dynamite pounds on Jacques which is probably the most interesting pairing in the match given their real issues. Jim Powers comes in for about a second before it’s back to Dynamite to face Raymond Rougeau. A sunset flip gets two for Dynamite and it’s back to Powers to face Zhukov. Smash comes in and Powers is in trouble. Jacques dropkicks Powers into the corner and here’s Bret to a BIG pop. Bret quickly small packages Raymond to get things down to 5-4. There are still a ton of people on the apron though.

Off to Roma vs. Volkoff with Roma being in trouble quickly. Roma comes out of the corner and in an impressive spot, he jumps from the mat to the top rope and hits a spinning crossbody for two. Volkoff comes back with a dropkick of his own and it’s off to Smash vs. Neidhart. Jim quickly tags out to Barbarian for the real feud of the match: Powers vs. Demolition. Smash, still a cowardly heel, brings in Conquistador Dos.

Warlord comes in to pound on Dos as does Bret. Ax comes in and kicks Bret down before it’s off to Tully. Bret clotheslines Tully down and from the mat they tag in Shawn (he and Bret have to interact at Survivor Series. It’s like law or something) and Smash respectively. Volkoff and Smash double team Shawn with Nikolai hitting the gorilla press backbreaker. Back to Tully who immediately tags in Arn for the wicked spinebuster for two.

Uno comes in again and slams Shawn down but it’s off to Marty even faster. Back to Volkoff who tosses Marty around with ease. Davey comes in and the power advantage is negated. Nikolai brings in Tully who drops a lot of elbows on Davey before it’s off to Dos vs. Warlord. Warlord no sells everything and gorilla presses Dos into a tag to Ax. They slug it out with Ax taking over and handing it off to Smash.

Smash doesn’t do as well and it’s a double team from the Powers to take over on him. Tully comes in with a middle rope elbow to the head of Barbarian but Barbie clotheslines Blanchard’s head off. Barbarian tags Neidhart for a powerslam on Tully and then it’s off to Dynamite. Arn slows him down and brings in Uno who brings in Zhukov. Powers gets the tag and backdrops Boris, but Zhukov rolls through a crossbody for the pin out of nowhere to eliminate Powers and the Stallions.

It’s 4-4 now and Shawn comes in with a fist drop for two on Boris. Barbarian comes in and Tully gets tagged in. Tully realizes who he’s facing so he immediately tags in Nikolai without making a single bit of contact. Ax pounds away on Barbarian with current champion taking over. Off to Nikolai again with nothing of note going on. Shawn comes in to face Zhukov and makes a blind tag to Marty, who sunset flips Boris out of nowhere for the elimination.

Marty rolls up Dos for dos and it’s off to Uno for a BIG backdrop. Ax vs. Marty now as Ax takes over and brings in Arn. Davey gets the tag as does Tully and Blanchard is scared to come in again. I’m not sure why as he whips Marty into the corner and Jannetty is turned upside down. Smash comes in and puts on a front facelock but he tags off to Dos. It’s downhill for Demolition’s team now as the Harts pick apart both Conquistadores, including hitting something similar to the Demolition Decapitator on Uno. Amazingly enough that only gets two.

Shawn dropkicks Uno down and it’s off to Marty with another dropkick for two. Dynamite comes in and there’s the snap suplex. A middle rope kneedrop gets two and Jesse is impressed by Uno’s toughness. Back to Barbarian with a powerslam and a fist drop but he headbutts Uno into the wrong corner and it’s off to Tully. On Bobby’s advice, Tully goes right for the eyes and takes over.

Demolition double teams Barbarian and it’s off to a chinlock from Smash. Uno comes back in and is carried to the corner by Barbarian, but Ax makes the save and puts the chinlock on again. The Brainbusters come in for some offense but Arn puts his head down and gets kicked in the face. Off to Jannetty with a jumping back elbow and it’s time for Anvil. Neidhart immediately does the same thing Anderson did and gets kicked in the face as well.

Blanchard can’t suplex Neidhart and it’s off to Bret. Can we watch these two for 20 minutes or so? Bret pounds away in the corner and the Canadian tries a German on the American, but Blanchard gets his shoulder up and Bret is pinned. It’s now Demolition, Los Conquistadores and the Brainbusters vs. the Powers of Pain, the British Bulldogs and the Rockers. The Bulldogs beat up Tully and it’s off to Shawn. The Busters double team Shawn, drawing in Marty for a four man brawl. Both referees come in and both teams are disqualified and eliminated. It’s down to two teams apiece.

The four eliminated guys brawl to the back as Smash puts a chinlock on Dynamite. Off to Dos with a knee to the ribs, followed by Uno with a top rope forearm. Uno misses a kind of Swanton and it’s off to Warlord with a gutwrench slam. Barbarian comes in with the Kick of Fear followed by the delayed vertical suplex from Davey. Ax comes in for a power showdown with Davey.

Dynamite comes in and clotheslines Ax down before bringing in Davey to hit the gorilla press and powerslam on Dos. Barbarian hits a backbreaker to knock Dos into the corner for another tag, this time to Ax again. The Conquistadores take over on Barbie which isn’t something you say all that often. Dynamite gets a tag because Barbarian only has to fight off Uno.

Warlord gets a quick tag in and drops a leg but doesn’t cover, much to Jesse and Gorilla’s dismay. Dynamite comes in and ducks his head, allowing Uno to tag out AGAIN. Smash charges into a boot and there’s the snap suplex. The Swan Dive misses and a basic clothesline pins Dynamite, getting us down to three teams. That would be it for the Bulldogs as a team in America, mainly due to the medical issues of Dynamite and those fights with the Rougeaus I mentioned. Smash and both masked dudes work over Barbarian in the corner but he easily powers over to Warlord.

Warlord misses a charge and hits the post shoulder first and it’s time for Ax to pound away. Off to Smash who stays on the arm as Fuji gets on the apron. Off to Dos and then Uno with a top rope shot to the shoulder. Fuji is back on the floor now and Ax is in, cranking on the arm some more.

Fuji gets back on the apron and Warlord makes a comeback, only to be clotheslined down again by Smash. Fuji pulls down the top rope as Smash hits the ropes, sending him out to the floor. Remember that Fuji is Demolition’s manager. Demolition gets counted out and we’re down to one team apiece. Ax goes off on Fuji and Fuji hits him with the cane, only to get laid out with a slam.

Demolition leaves Fuji laying as we’ve got the Powers of Pain vs. Los Conquistadores left. They have a standoff until the Powers go out and help Fuji to his feet. Ladies and gentlemen, I present the ultra rare double turn. Back in the ring, Dos comes in to pound on Barbarian and it’s off to Uno. Fuji trips Uno and a headbutt from Barbarian gets the pin to win the match.

Rating: A. What a great match this was. It had EVERY tag team you could want to see in one match as well as a major move at the end with Demolition turning face. You had mini-stories in the match itself which is always a nice touch, with teams having short matches against each other. Also this was about five minutes shorter than the one last year which helped it tremendously. Great match and the 42 minutes that it runs flew by.

The Powers put Fuji on their shoulders post match. Demolition runs in and cleans house.

Bad News says he’s a loner no matter what and that he wants the world title.

Warrior says he can’t breathe properly because of the power stuffed down his throat.

Fuji says he made Demolition and now he’s going to break them.

Heenan says his team will win.

The Mega Powers are ready and Hogan wants Bossman.

Team Jake Roberts vs. Team Andre the Giant

Jake Roberts, Ken Patera, Jim Duggan, Scott Casey, Tito Santana
Andre the Giant, Rick Rude, Dino Bravo, Mr. Perfect, Harley Race

Casey is a jobber who is here because B. Brian Blair left the company. Blair was on the team because JYD left, so Casey is the third string guy. Rude and Patera start things off. This would be around the time when Gorilla suggested that Patera retire because he wasn’t any good anymore, so you can tell what kind of stuff we’re about to get. Rude gets thrown around a bit and it’s off to Bravo, as Gorilla implies Patera made him retire. Now there’s a trivia answer for….somebody I guess.

Bravo bangs on Patera a bit before it’s off to Perfect (called Curt Hennig as well here) with a double ax off the top. Patera shrugs it off and drags Hennig over to hand him off to Roberts. Jake works on the arm as he was known to do before bringing in Santana. Tito and Hennig have as good of a match as you would expect them to have with Tito getting the better of it, only to miss a charge in the corner. Hennig elbows him down and it’s off to Bravo again. Talk about bringing the talent level down.

Off to Roberts who hits Bravo once and then brings in Casey to really cripple the level. A monkey flip doesn’t work for him and now he gets his first real opponent on PPV: Harley Race. Race beats up Casey like he’s a grizzled veteran who is here because his investment went south and he’s working for the guy who caused him to lose all his money and is now beating up some jobber who got a spot on a major show because there was no one else available.

Rude comes in again and it’s time for everyone to get their shots in on Casey. This has to be some kind of initiation or something. Hennig headbutts him and hurts himself in the process. Back to Tito as the match gets a lot better all of a sudden. Did I mention I really like Santana? Patera helps with a double elbow to Perfect and it’s off to Duggan to fire up the crowd again. Hennig tries various things to Duggan’s head which don’t work at all. See, when Duggan does it he follows up. When Casey does it, he doesn’t do anything. One is a legend, the other is never heard of again.

Off to Casey again for some contractually obligated reason more than likely and he’s immediately drilled by Rude which makes my day better. Casey misses a charge and it’s off to Tito with a cross body. Duggan beats up Hennig as well but he misses an elbow. Duggan and Henig hit heads and it’s off to Rude vs. Patera. Patera throws Rude around but misses a charge and gets Awakened for the first elimination.

Casey tries to come in and jump Rude, only to be sent into the heel corner and beaten up even worse than before. Off to Race who hits a good old man dropkick before bringing Bravo back in. Side slam hits and it’s 5-3. See you later Casey, have fun training that Booker T guy. It’s back to the bread and butter of this match with Perfect vs. Tito…the latter of whom immediately tags out and brings Duggan back in. Ok then.

Hennig kicks Duggan in the face which he sells for some reason, but the punches that follow aren’t sold and Duggan gets all fired up. Duggan, ever the lunkhead though, gets fired up near Andre who chokes him down immediately. Back to Hennig for a second and then Rude comes in for his offensive contribution. Duggan finally clotheslines Rick down and it’s a double tag for Tito and Race.

Since Race is a genius, he moves aside of a charging Tito and slams Tito’s head into Andre’s. Well that’s one thing he’s good for. Dino comes in again but misses a charge into the corner and gets sunset flipped for two. Back to Race for the piledriver for two and he whips Tito in, only to get forearmed out of nowhere for the quick elimination, making it 4-3. Andre climbs in, grabs Tito, chokes him a bit and sits on his chest. For reasons that no one could figure out, Tito tries a freaking sunset flip. Pain immediately comes to his chest and Andre makes it 4-2 (Andre, Dino, Rude, Hennig vs. Duggan and Roberts).

Duggan comes in and clotheslines Andre into the ropes, where he and Jake both get in some open shots on the Giant. Jake chokes away but Andre gets his arms free. Andre, being a smart giant, tags out after getting beaten up that badly and brings in Rude. Rude whips Jake into the buckle a few times as we hear about the Cheryl Roberts story. Off to Hennig with some chops and Andre kicks a bit from the apron because that’s what evil giants do.

Hennig slingshots Duggan throat first into the bottom rope so Andre can choke a bit more. Off to Bravo who gets beaten on by a suddenly fired up Roberts. The short clothesline looks to set up the DDT but Rude leans in to break it up. Rick comes in legally now and stomps away like he’s still in Memphis, which means very slowly with a lot of playing to the crowd in between.

Dino piledrives Jake for two but an elbow drop misses and here’s Hacksaw again. Duggan sends him into the corner and literally throws him out before clotheslining him down. The Three Point Clothesline is loaded up but Frenchy Martin, Bravo’s manager, hooks Duggan’s foot. Bravo slams Duggan on the floor so Duggan hits Bravo with the 2×4 for the DQ, leaving Roberts alone 3-1. Bravo manages to get a tag to Hennig before Jake can pin him so Roberts punches Perfect instead.

The DDT is loaded up but Perfect makes the corner and it’s off to Dino again. Jake, likely drunk, tries a test of strength with a guy billed as the world’s strongest man. When that doesn’t work Jake tries another DDT but is backdropped this time instead. Back to Rude and Jake heads to the floor to think. Well he is considered a master of psychology so thinking is what he does. That and cocaine.

Back in and Rude takes over again, hitting a gutbuster on the Snake. Would that even hurt a snake? Off to a bearhug but Jake quickly thumbs him in the eye. Rude hits a top rope punch and swivels the hips a bit, only to have his tights pulled down and DDTed for the elimination. Andre comes in and hammers Jake before choking him in the corner….for a DQ. It’s two on one which means nothing as Hennig immediately covers Jake for the pin and the final elimination.

Rating: C-. The lower half of this match being pretty weak really hurts it. Other than Jake, Andre and Duggan, at this point most of these guys didn’t mean much. Rude was on his way up but he was still a glorified midcard guy here. Just not a very interesting match and it definitely didn’t need to go half an hour.

Jake puts the snake in post match but Andre is gone before it can get to him.

Andre says he said he would win and he did. He is NOT afraid of snakes though.

Jake says that he’ll take care of business with Damien. Next year, he’ll get his revenge.

The Twin Towers’ team is all ready.

Team Mega Powers vs. Team Twin Towers

Hulk Hogan, Randy Savage, Koko B. Ware, Hillbilly Jim, Hercules
Big Bossman, Akeem, Ted DiBiase, Red Rooster, Haku

Savage is world champion and this is based on a tag team feud which would be blown off in a huge live match on February 3. Hogan comes out to his own theme music after his partners all used Savage’s. This is actually a plot point as the Mega Powers would explode because Savage thought Hogan was taking his spotlight. It’s a Wrestlemania rematch with Savage vs. DiBiase to start things off.

They knock each other down with DiBaise taking over in the corner. The champ comes back with right hands and a clothesline. Off to Hercules who is feuding with DiBiase as Ted had called Hercules a slave, prompting a face turn. Instead Herc gets the Red Rooster who doesn’t do well at all, which is the idea. Heenan said he could take anyone, even Rooster, to the top. Off to Koko who gets in a shot to Ware and it’s off to Akeem (One Man Gang).

Haku comes in with a chop but misses a legdrop and it’s back to Herc. I’m not sure why when you have Hogan and Savage on the apron but whatever. Now it’s off to Hogan and the place erupts. He takes Haku down and drops some elbows before bringing Hillbilly in for a quick main event opportunity. Akeem comes in and runs Jim over before bringing Rooster in. Even Gorilla found that stupid. Jim doesn’t do much to Rooster so here’s Koko instead.

Rooster rams Koko’s head into the buckle, but see, Koko is black so it doesn’t hurt. A missile dropkick gets two on Red and it’s off to Hogan. The big boot sets up Savage’s elbow and it’s 5-4. Hogan’s team has a massive in ring celebration while Bossman’s team hits the floor. Heenan rips into Rooster as we get Savage vs. Haku. Haku chokes on the ropes but Hogan makes a blind tag and, brace yourselves, actually loses a slugout!

Haku hits a nice dropkick but gets slammed down and it’s off to Herc. A suplex puts Hercules down and it’s off to Akeem. A splash misses and it’s off to Hillbilly who fires away with all he’s got. Jim’s big boot doesn’t take Akeem down and a clothesline floors Jim. The 747 (big splash) gets the pin and we’re tied up. Koko comes in and dropkicks Akeem in the back before wisely bringing in Hogan to do the heavy lifting.

Back to the world champ with a double ax to the head but they can’t knock Akeem down. Hercules pounds away a bit as does Koko with a dropkick only sending Akeem into the corner. Akeem shrugs it off and hits Koko once to take over. Off to Boss Man who hits his namesake slam to make it 4-3. It’s Hogan in now and this is the match everyone has been wanting to see.

Hogan pounds him into the corner and everyone left on Hogan’s team (Hogan, Savage, Hercules vs. Bossman, Akeem, DiBiase, Haku) gets in a shot. Hogan easily slams the then bigger Boss Man but he charges into a spinebuster. That looked really good too. Back to Akeem and the big men hit a double elbow to take Hulk down. Off to Haku who gets in some shots to the neck before tagging in Boss Man. I wonder why they’ve gone so long since having DiBiase in there.

Naturally as I say that he comes in and clotheslines Hogan down. A falling punch gets two but Hogan Hulks Up. Off to Hercules for some revenge and some hard clotheslines and punches. Virgil trips him up though and a school boy eliminates Hercules. It’s now 4-2 but Savage charges in and rolls up DiBiase to pin him within about ten seconds.

Haku comes in again but misses a headbutt, allowing Hogan to get the tag. Something like a superkick takes Hulk down and it’s back to Boss Man for some headbutts tot he back. Akeem comes in for his usual shots before it’s back to Haku again, who suplexes Hulk for two. It’s nerve hold time followed by the Boss Man Slam for no cover. Instead Boss Man goes up and misses a splash.

The hot tag brings in Savage who cleans house. Slick trips Randy up and things slow down again. Boss Man puts on a bearhug as Slick goes after Liz, grabbing her by the arm. Hulk makes the save and DRILLS Slick with a right hand. The Towers go to handcuff Hogan to the rope but Boss Man gets counted out in the process. Boss Man beats on Hogan with the nightstick and then goes to beat on Savage. Akeem helps with that, drawing a DQ for himself and getting us down to Hogan and Savage vs. Haku.

Hogan is still cuffed to the rope though so it’s basically a one on one match. Haku beats on Savage as the camera is on the Towers leaving. Slick has the keys and is taunting Hogan with them. Savage holds the rope and avoids a kick but there’s no Hogan to tag. Haku accidentally superkicks Slick and Liz raids his pocket to get the key. Hogan is freed and Haku hits a top rope splash for two. Hot tag to Hogan and since it’s 1988, you can fill in the ending for yourself.

Rating: C+. While not great, this was better than the previous match to be sure. This would be part of the Mega Powers Exploding, as Savage would be jealous of Hogan for getting the glory and not being there for him earlier in the match. It’s no classic or anything, but 80s Hogan is always fun.

Liz hugs Hogan post match and you can see Savage getting madder and madder. See, the key to the old feuds is you see the things happen and THEN you get the turn, rather than getting the turn and then the explanation. In other words, it wasn’t all about shock.

Overall Rating: B. It’s definitely not as good as last year’s, but in this case you should check out the full version instead of the clipped one, because the clipped one shaves off like an hour of it and the interviews are different as well. The matches are much more hit and miss here, but thankfully they’ll tweak things a bit next year by going with four man teams and shorter matches, which does a lot of good for the pacing of the show. Also, did we really need guys like Koko B. Ware and Red Rooster in the main event? Really? Anyway, not a terrible show (the clipped version is a terrible tape) but certainly not as good as last year’s.

Ratings Comparison

Team Ultimate Warrior vs. Team Honky Tonk Man

Original: D
Redo: C

Team Demolition vs. Team Powers of Pain

Original: A
Redo: A

Team Jake Roberts vs. Team Andre the Giant

Original: F
Redo: C-

Team Mega Powers vs. Team Twin Towers

Original: C+
Redo: D+

Overall Rating

Original: D+
Redo: B

I’ve heard of getting better with age but this is a big change. I guess I’ve really grown to appreciate late 80s WWF more than I thought.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

 

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Survivor Series 1988
Date: November 24, 1988
Location: Richfield Coliseum, Richfield, Ohio
Attendance: 13,500
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Jesse Ventura

So we’ve arrived at the second annual Survivor Series. Things are a bit different now, with the main difference being that Savage is your world champion, having won the tournament at WM 4. Your main feud here is the Mega Powers vs. the Twin Towers, more commonly known as the Big Boss Man and Akeem, or the One Man Gang. They’re feuding with the Mega Powers because they’re monster heels and the names rhyme.

DiBiase is in the main event because he just doesn’t like Hogan, and Rooster and Haku are in it because they’re members of the Heenan Family who hates Hogan as well. On the other side you have Hercules, who is mad because he was sold like a slave to DiBiase and turned face because of it, Hillbilly Jim because he was Hogan’s best friend of the month, and Koko because we needed another Hall of Fame member in here.

This show as well as the next one are notorious for being slapped by substitutions. For instance, Jim Brunzell is in the opening match as a singles wrestler. He’s replacing Don Muraco, who was fired, more than likely due to a high level of suck. Brunzell’s team, the Killer Bees, had broken up due to being jobbers. Blair was supposed to be the replacement for Junkyard Dog, who left to head back to the NWA right after he and Rude started feuding.

However, Blair quit because he didn’t want to be a jobber so he was replaced by the immortal Scott Casey. This would be about like putting A-1 from the old days of TNA in the main event. People know his name, but that’s about it. He was completely off the wall and from out of absolute left field, so he’s one of the more infamous picks in history.

Also, we have a HUGE tag team survivor match, which is famous for something at the end which I’ll get to later. Anyway, this was a tape I always wanted from Blockbuster but it was stolen so I never got to see it. I think I saw it once about 15 years ago, so this is going to be new for me as well. Let’s do it.

Oddly enough, Gene does the introductions. Jesse and Gorilla are the commentators, but they just do the talking.

Ultimate Warrior’s Team vs. Honky Tonk Man’s Team

Warrior’s Team: Brutus Beefcake, Sam Houston, Blue Blazer, Jim Brunzell

Honky’s Team: Danny Davis, Ron Bass, Greg Valentine, Bad News Brown

Ok so let me get this straight. Honky got annihilated last year so he has 60% of the same team now, including a former referee who somehow got worse in the last year, but he replaces Hercules with Greg Valentine (upgrade) and Harley Race with a guy that is a career loner. …right. Yeah this is going to go bad. However, that’s not much of a face team over there.

Warrior of course is insane as always, Brutus is fine, but Sam Houston never did anything, Brunzell is half of a career jobbing tag team, and Blue Blazer was a comedy character to an extent, although Owen of course was very talented. Dang Beefcake comes out to Warrior’s music. Actually they all do. Oh yeah you might want to know the feuds. Warrior had stolen the IC Title from Honky in about a minute at Summerslam.

Brutus and the other three are just there. Can you imagine Warrior’s recruitment speeches? Brutus is co-captain here for no apparent reason. Maybe because it was supposed to be him facing Honky at Summerslam I guess. For the heels…yeah there’s nothing I guess. I think Houston and Bass were feuding but it went nowhere. For those of you that don’t know, Houston is the half brother of Jake Roberts.

Yeah the talent was clearly in the mother’s side of the family. Brown is already described as a loner. Gorilla once against says that they’re hanging from the rafters. No they’re actually not Monsoon. Just as he was last year, Brutus is your first face in the match. Valentine is rocking the chic yellow and blue. I’m trying to be nice by saying chic.

Holy crud Davis is gone in about a minute. Well at least they didn’t waste time. He’s “asleep”. I never got that. If the sleeper hold is that powerful and can knock someone out in 8 seconds, why aren’t doctors trained in it in medical school? It would eliminate the need for sleeping pills. Oh dear Jim Brunzell. What was the point in putting him on this team? Was there NO ONE else available?

Seriously, this is the best you can find? He’s rocking some silver/gray/red tights which I suppose is better than what the Bees wore. I’ve always liked that old Survivor Series logo, the one that looks like stones. It’s just cool looking, as most 80s wrestling logos were. Brown comes in and just dominates. I guess he would be co-captain by default? Why not I suppose as he’s the biggest star on the heel team other than Honky.

After just beating Brunzell up, the Ghetto Blaster, which has to be the coolest name for a move in history, eliminates the Bee. DAng  we’re down two inside of 6 minutes. Houston comes in now. Good night is he small. He was supposed to be some tough Texas guy but I’m not sure if he weighs more than 215lbs. He tries to beat on Bad News and shockingly, this doesn’t work.

I love seeing tough heels beat on small people. I don’t know why. Maybe I’m a natural heel. Anyway, after more bad offense from the faces, Hammer tags in Bad News and accidentally hits him. Yep, this isn’t going to end well at all. They’re pulled apart and Bad News just walks out for the count out. Why would you pick him anyway?

I get that he’s a tough fighter but dang man, at least pick someone that you can trust. Wait, they’re heels. You’re not supposed to trust them. Either way, Brown was awesome as possible and this was even more proof. When you’re a heel that doesn’t even get involved with other heels, then you know it’s awesome.

For the next two minutes or so, Houston doesn’t tag out. Now I know that doesn’t sound like a long time, but when you consider that there are three other guys on his team to tag, that’s an eternity. Even Gorilla is getting on him about not tagging. This would be fine if it was Bret or Tully or someone with you know, that thing called a lot of talent.

Houston is just flat out boring. He’s like the X-Pac of this match: he’s fine against guys of his own size, but not against monsters. I don’t know if the non tagging thing was planned or not, but if it wasn’t, his career is pretty much over. Oh wait. This is the highlight of his career more than likely though, so ignore that. Gorilla says this is the biggest match he’s ever been in, which is wrong as he was in the opener for Wrestlemania this year, so no he’s been in big matches before.

Like I was saying about not fighting bigger guys, the issue with this is shown as Bass powerslams him and easily beats him. Blue Blazer finally comes in as we haven’t seen Warrior yet. Honky is brought in so at least he can waste his time in there. Yeah he was barely in. Back off to Hammer as I can’t help but think that Blazer looks like he’s wearing a diaper. Seriously, it’s a blue singlet with white/gray tights.

He goes up top and in a very stupid looking sequence, Honky shoves him off. This apparently injures his knees badly enough for the figure four to take him out. That leaves us with Honky, Bass and Valentine against Brutus and Warrior. Something tells me this isn’t going to go well for the heels. When the best thing you’ve got is an over the hill Greg Valentine, that’s a bad place to be. My goodness he might be the best thing in this match since there’s no Brutus music.

Brutus and Honky are in here now, and I smell a double elimination coming. Honky’s tights says Wild Thing. Make your own jokes about that. The sleeper leads to a sleeper on the floor and there it is: the double count out. Ok so I knew that was coming so what? So we have Warrior against two people slightly above jobber status.

I’ll say they last 2 minutes max. Yep, after 2 minutes 10 seconds and a pair of double axe handles to the head (wtf?) and Warrior wins after having a total of about 2 minutes in the ring. This was REALLY bad.

Rating: D. Yeah, this was horrible. It was a bunch of jobbers waiting for Warrior to come in and beat people up. It went almost 20 minutes and I was falling asleep for part of that, and this is coming from someone that’s a huge late 80s WWF fan.

It was just flat out bad all around with no real highlights, no good workers, and just a pointless match all around. Horrible and by far and away the worst SS match to date, and also the only under 20 minutes so far I believe. Actually that’s not true as the first match went 18:50.

Bad News Brown said he showed that he’s a loner and he wants to be the next WWF Champion. There was allegedly a plan to make that happen, but depending on who you ask, Vince was either a racist or just lied. If this tells you anything about Brown, consider this. He was on a tour in Japan with Andre the Giant.

Andre made a racist comment and Brown got off the bus and challenged Andre to a legit fight. Andre backed down. Brown was a legit fighter, having won a bronze medal in Judo in the Olympics, the only American to ever medal in the heavyweight division.

Warrior says that his whole team won. At least that’s what I think he said.

Demolition’s Team vs. Power’s of Pain’s Team

This is the epic tag team match that lasts over 40 minutes. The ending is by far and away the most famous part of it and I’ll explain why when we get there. Here are the lineups.

Demolition’s Team: Brain Busters, The Conquistadors, Bolsheviks, Fabulous Rougeau Brothers.

Powers of Pain’s Team: Rockers, Young Stallions, Hart Foundation, British Bulldogs.

Yes the Powers of Pain are indeed the faces here and have some pretty good music. Rockers are the epitome of rookies here as they’ve only been in the company a few months. Harts are still going strong, the Stallions look somehow more interested in each other than Legacy does, and the Bulldogs are on the verge of leaving, as they would be gone before the night was over, due mainly to them not being needed anymore but also due to a fight between Dynamite and Jacques Rougeau.

There are 20 people in the ring which is a pretty cool visual. The same rules apply as last year as it’s one member of a team being eliminated means his partner is gone too. Jimmy, Bobby, Fuji and Slick meet at ringside. Is anyone missing there from the late 80s managers? We start up with Davey against one of the Conquistadors. They were a pair of jobbers that Edge and Christian imitated in I think 2000 or 2001 in a hilariously funny bit.

Shawn is insanely fast out there. He must be on the good drugs tonight. The camera angle is very odd here as it’s mainly coming from the corner of the ring. It’s not bad but it’s very odd and actually a bit hard to get used to. I think the ring mic is broken as for a bit there’s no sound coming from any of the bumps. My goodness Blanchard and Anderson were awesome. For some reason Jesse still can’t tell the Rougeaus apart, DESPITE THEM LOOKING NOTHING ALIKE!

Good grief Gorilla rambles at times. It’s rare but when it happens it blows away JR’s badness. The crowd pops big for Bret as even back then they knew how big of a star he would be. He gets rid of the Rougeaus to clear the ring out a bit thank goodness.

I love how almost immediately after a pinfall we get a tag every time. It’s a Stallion against a Bolshevik. The tagging here is ridiculously fast as are the changes in control between the teams. The Harts against Demolition is about as awesome of a tag feud as you would ever find. The crowd kind of pops for the Powers of Pain coming in to fight Demolition which was the main feud of this match. This looks like a screwed up lumberjack match.

This is in the middle of Demolition’s epic reign which would last the better part of two years. Blanchard against Hart now, in what can only be described as a technical masterpiece. Before I’m done typing that Shawn and Axe are in. See what I mean about the speed of the tags? Becca’s soul dies a bit as Shawn is gang attacked in the corner. Arn hits a spinebuster. What do we call that?

Since it has to be attributed to someone else because no one but AA ever did it, how do we attribute it to the guy that made it famous? Jesse continues to make fun of Gorilla’s age which never ceased to make me laugh. Why was that spinning kick that Volkoff did considered impressive? It gets all of a foot off the ground and typically hits the upper thigh. Why is that considered impressive? Warlord somehow almost botches a slam. That’s hard to do.

Jesse says that Warlord is beating up Axe as Warlord is being knocked all over the place. I love wrestling announcers. Barbarian hits a….he hit a…what in the heck was that? It looked like a kick to the face but apparently it hit Smash in the ribs? I have no idea what he did but I don’t think it worked that well. We’re at almost 15 minutes here and we’ve had one elimination. I see why this took so long to do. Why is it that powerslams always look awesome?

Boris eliminates the Young Stallions who Jesse was raving about earlier on, talking about how improved they were. Let’s see. Last year they were one of two surviving teams and this year they’re out second. Jesse is usually great but yeah he missed on this one. And they lost to the Bolsheviks. Who in the world loses to the freaking BOLSHEVIKS?

Shawn beats on the fake Russian for a bit. See, that’s a sign of how horrid you are: if Shawn Michaels from the late 80s can beat you up, you really do suck. As they have all night, Demolition whips some Powers of Pain. I think I detect a slight boring chant. Why? This is pretty good stuff.

In a very quick set of moves, the Russians are knocked out but the Rockers. WOW how bad does that make the Young Stallions look? Also, they’ve been around at least a year. How long are they going to be young for? As Jesse says at least we can see a bit better now. For those of you that can’t scroll up and read who was on each team, your lineups are now Demolition, Conquistadors and Brain Busters vs. Rockers, Bulldogs, Powers of Pain and Harts.

Tully is getting into masterful levels of 80s heel work here. He makes it look so easy that it’s scary. Gorilla says we’re getting close to the, as he made famous, nitty gritty. No, not really. Of 9 teams that could be eliminated, we’ve gotten rid of 3. At the most one team is 40% done. How is that getting down to the end? The Conquistadors are just so completely worthless it’s hilarious. I never remember them doing anything at all.

Come to think of it I don’t remember them ever wrestling other than this. The Brain Busters are managed by the Brain. Does that mean they beat up their manager? Is he working for them out of fear? I think this was a Horseman coup that was never followed up on. Yeah that must be it. I need my medicine. Smash uses that really bad hold where he just twists the neck of the other guy to one side.

I get how that could hurt, but is that seriously the best you can do? Is there NOTHING else that you could do to make things at least look painful? Jesse desperately tries to cover up for this by talking about how the wrestlers train their necks but even a politician can’t convince me that he’s trying to hide something. Actually that might be why I don’t believe him.

I officially love this match as we’ve had two jumping reverse elbows. Hart comes in and just about kills Tully. Bret with a German suplex but Tully gets the pin. I love how Bret has to drop his shoulders as he realizes he did the move perfectly and had to make sure he screwed up. The Busters and the Rockers start a big brawl in the ring, complete with Smash yelling to take him out to one of the Busters.

All four are eliminated so we’ve got Demolition and the Conquistadors vs. Powers of Pain and the Bulldogs. The booing for both teams being thrown out is great. They fight up the aisle as I believe this would lead to a great 2/3 falls match on Saturday Night’s Main Event. I believe we have a Pat Patterson sighting as he tries to break this up. That’s just humorous.

After 28 minutes, we’ve arrived at what was the standard Survivor Series match for the 90s. I’ve always wondered how we went from 5 to 4 with no apparent reason. It would change over next year with no explanation as to why. I’d certainly assume that it was time, but at least letting us know would be nice. After half an hour we finally discuss how to tell the Conquistadors apart.

Thanks for the rapid timing of that one guys. Now we’re in some great 80s tag stuff here. Now that’s not to say the rest of this hasn’t been awesome because it has, but this is actually the best it’s been so far. Davey was so freakishly strong it’s scary. The commentators try so hard to keep from calling the Powers of Pain idiots but you can tell they’re about to crack. Jesse says that we’re finally getting to Demolition vs. the Powers of Pain.

It’s not as good as the third time it happened earlier, it’s about equal to the first, but it’s miles ahead of the second. I wonder if Stu taught his people how to do that basic cover. Bret always used it and now Dynamite is. It’s the one where he just kind of lays over the shoulders with his hand on the far wrist and is kind of leaning up. You’d know it if you saw it I’m sure. Jesse continues to rave about the Conquistadors.

Demolition gets it down to 2-1 by eliminating the Bulldogs. Oh dear that means it’s all Powers of Pain from here on out. Someone help me please. I can’t do this on my own. Oh yeah I have to because no one else is stupid enough to review a show that I don’t have to put up until November in mid-August. Fuji gets up on the apron with the heels in control which rightly confuses the announcers. Jesse asks if Gorilla would buy a used car from Fuji.

Oddly enough he asked the same about Slick at WM 4. That’s an odd question to ask. Fuji gets up there again and even Jesse has no idea why. Oddly enough, Fuji pulls the top rope down and causes Smash to fall to the floor, despite him being Fuji’s talent. This causes Demolition to be eliminated. Axe goes after him and Fuji says that he’s the boss so he makes the decisions. Fuji nails Axe with the cane which of course does nothing.

Demolition beats up Fuji to completely turn face to a great pop. I don’t want to see Fuji’s stomach. This leaves the Powers of Pain against the Conquistadors. The “faces” go to the floor and helps Fuji up, turning them heel, AND WE HAVE A DOUBLE TURN!

Yes, in only the second time in history that I can remember it (the other being Hart vs. Austin at WM 13), we have the unbelievably rare double turn. The problem was that Demolition was getting no heat at all as they were so wildly popular, and the Powers of Pain were getting very small face pops but major heat, mainly due to the fact that neither were very good in the ring at all.. They were definitely going to be the big feud in the near future, so this was the solution.

This is why the match is famous as it not only set up the handicap tag title match at Wrestlemania 5 with the Powers of Pain and Fuji against Demolition, but it also gave us the double turn. The turn by the Powers of Pain was almost a huge sigh of relief for the fans as it gave the fans almost exactly what they wanted. Fuji hooks the leg of the Conquistador to allow Barbarian to hit a headbutt for the pin, and a huge pop?

Why? Why after that heel turn would you pop bigger for the heels than you did when they were faces? Where is this show again? Oh yeah it’s outside of Cleveland. Dang I can’t make fun of the city since I’m an Indians fan. Did we just have heel vs. heel for the final two there? Fuji celebrates with the Powers of Pain after the match, which confuses the announcers to no end. Demolition comes back out and beat up the Powers of Pain.

Don’t you just love how a simple heel turn makes the indestructible faces very destructible all of a sudden? The fans aren’t really sure what happened which is understandable I guess. See this is why promos can be so important. In a simple promo which I’m sure is coming, this whole thing can be explained.

It could be confusing here as maybe Fuji turned face and Demolition continued being heels by beating up the now face manager to go with the face team. We hear what happened by the announcers, but no one in the arena can hear that. Like I said, a simple promo clears everything up here, which is the power of the microphone I suppose.

Rating: A. Not just for the double turn, but for how great the match as a whole was. This was just flat out awesome on all levels. It was more or less every great 80s tag team in there at once and even complete with jobbers to fill in the gaps. The tagging speed was off the charts to say the least and everything worked very well. This is far better than last year’s tag one, which is saying a lot as last year’s was great. This is great stuff though and well worth checking out.

Jake Robert’s Team vs. Andre the Giant’s Team

Jake’s Team: Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Scott Casey, Tito Santana, Ken Patera

Andre’s Team: Dino Bravo, Harley Race, Mr. Perfect, Rick Rude

Well, this is a far better list of guys than in the other singles match but that’s really not saying a lot. We have Hacksaw and Jake who are both feuding with Andre as Hacksaw actually knocked him out cold with the 2×4 and Jake was just feuding with him. Jake was also fighting Rude over his wife which I believe actually was an issue in real life. The others, as usual, are just there for the sake of being there which is a problem in these matches.

Often times there’s no point at all for them being there and it can just get annoying and make you try to come up with a reason when there isn’t one. I think most of the heels are just there because they’re members of the Heenan Family. I have a very bad feeling about this match as there’s three big names out there with Andre, Roberts and Duggan, and Andre is hurt at this point.

Perfect isn’t a big deal yet at all, Casey is a no name, Santana is a jobber for the most part and Patera would be gone by the end of the year, mainly due to him just being horrid. On the other side, Race is old and is here because he’s almost broke, Rude is just hitting his stride so we’ll say he’s good too I guess, and Bravo was just there to help other more talented guys for his entire career. And I’m right.

The first at least 5 minutes of this is just horrid with the faces beating on the heels which no one can realistically believe. That of course leads to Patera missing one move and getting eliminated by the Rude Awakening. Wow that was really stupid. The announcers talk about how his skills are diminishing and he should consider retiring. Yeah that’s a nice thing to say about him.

He’d be gone and in the AWA within a few months, so maybe he listened to the commentary. Casey comes in immediately and is immediately crushed. Well that was nice of Rude. At least he didn’t let Casey think he was talented or anything. The announcers amuse me greatly as they try to come up with accolades for Casey but they have to be as vague as possible since they know nothing at all about him.

His looks aren’t helping much either as he’s just short and kind of fat. He looks a bit like Eugene actually but with a porn mustache. Race actually hits a decent looking dropkick on him. Then, in one of the weirdest botches I’ve ever seen, Casey sits up to avoid an elbow. Casey sells it like he hit it though. Someone missed their cue here. We have a guy that’s never been seen before or since, or a 7 time world champion and one of the greatest wrestlers of all time.

I don’t even have a snide finish for that one as you get my point. Jesse points out that it’s weird that Race has so many tattoos. That’s actually a good point. He just doesn’t seem like the tattoo type but he’s certainly got a lot of them. Bravo ends him in about 15 seconds. That was long and painful. This match, like the first one, is just boring. Nothing of note is happening here and it’s just all random skirmishes with nothing of note happening.

Usually I’ll watch a segment and then I’ll pause it and write then start it up again. I don’t have to do that here, as I know I’m not going to miss anything. Wait that might be something. Oh never mind. I thought we might have something interesting there for a second but it wasn’t. A near fall is actually getting me somewhat awake here. That can’t be good. We’re talking 5-6 minutes of just random offense with no drama to it at all.

Why? What is the point to any of this? Even Tito Santana who I’m a big mark for is boring me to death out there, and it’s not like these are bad matchups. Santana against Perfect, Rude or Race sounds quite good to me. This match breaks thirty minutes and it’s just horrid. Normally I would say that you could just drop 10 minutes off of two matches and put in different people, but here that’s just not the case.

The problem is simple: again, we have 50 people wrestling tonight. There’s just not enough people to have a 5th match so the 4 you have are forced to go WAY too long. Now in the tag they pulled it off very nicely. In these other two, they’re just complete and utter failures. See, why are people like Bravo in this? They have no connection to anyone out there at all, so why should we care? In short, we don’t.

FINALLY Santana is out of there and it’s Roberts. No wait. Bravo makes the stop and Santana gets beaten up even more. What is the point to this? It’s 5-3 in case you’re bored and want to see numbers instead of letters. From absolutely nowhere Santana hits the forearm to beat Race. I would love to have seen these two 5-6 years ago with about 20 minutes to work with.

That could have been some great stuff to say the least. Andre immediately comes in and just kills him as we’re finally getting something interesting or at least something pretending to be interesting, ala the bar room at the moment. Those punches from Andre are just flat out scary. Tito, like a freaking idiot, tries a sunset flip. You know where this leads and Duggan is the next guy in. To a HUGE pop, a single shot and Andre is tied up in the ropes.

All of a sudden the crowd is alive. Roberts comes in and just beats the heck out of Andre. How many people can say that? You know, Jake and Duggan are probably your 3rd and 4th biggest faces at this point, or are at least in contention for that spot along with Warrior. Warrior was just in the midcard at this point while Duggan and Roberts were in a feud with Andre who was of course still a major star at this point.

Hacksaw would be dropped soon though to feud with Bad News which was just horrid as they were the exact same style. Now we get back to the problem of this match: nothing happens for long stretches of time. Here’s a summary of the next five minutes: face gets pounded on, face makes a short comeback, face gets pounded on, face makes a short comeback, face tags, face gets pounded on, face makes a short comeback. This is just boring me to death.

Duggan is in there now after Roberts was beaten half to death. What’s this? It looks like a short comeback. Like the idiot that he is, Duggan gets the 2×4 and beats on Bravo with it to make this 4-1. For another SEVEN FREAKING MINUTES Jake gets beaten down and makes small comebacks. In other words, in about 14 minutes we had one moment that was close to interesting. Everybody beats on him for about two minutes each.

FINALLY Rude gyrates over him and gets a DDT for his trouble to eliminate him and breathe some life back into him. Andre comes in and beats/chokes Jake half to death to get disqualified. It’s 2-1 but Jake is just dead. He choked him for probably 35-40 seconds straight so Jake should be dead.

Andre headbutts him and Perfect just walks in and covers him to win it. Perfect is called Mr. Perfect Curt Hennig which sounds kind of odd. Jake gets the snake to a big pop but there’s no one in the ring. Jesse says that this was too little too later which is true.

Rating: F. This was AWFUL. There was about 20-25 minutes of dead spots here and no one wanted to see it. It was mainly jobbers that weren’t interesting and it was about getting Jake or Hacksaw against Andre which happened for all of 45 seconds. This was just flat out boring and I was flipping through the channels while this happened. That’s never happened while I was watching a major show before. I HATED this match.

Andre takes offense to Sean suggesting that he’s afraid of snakes and that he’ll beat Jake…whenever they fight that is.

Jake says that he did ok considering it was 4-1 and that he’s not going to cry. He also calls the show survival series.

Mega Powers Team vs. Twin Towers Team

We’re at the main event of the longest PPV of all time, or at least it seems like it. Either way, this is the last of the four matches. The lineups read like this.

Mega Powers: Hogan, Savage, Koko B. Ware, Hillbilly Jim, Hercules

Twin Towers: Akeem, Big Bossman, Red Rooster, Haku, Ted DiBiase

Savage gets a HUGE pop. See what a guy with talent can get out of the crowd? Jesse butchers the name of the world title which is hard to do. Fink sounds like he’s on speed or something. Mark this down: Koko and Terry Taylor are main eventing a major PPV. This will NEVER happen again. How in the world are Savage and DiBiase not in the Hall of Fame but Ware is?

Of the ten people in this match, 4 of them I could see being in the Hall of Fame: Hogan, Savage, DiBiase, Boss Man. Boss Man is by far the biggest stretch but he would at least make a touch of sense. Koko makes less than no sense. Dang even the announcer belongs in there more than he does. Speaking of which, has there ever been a more lackluster induction than Fink? No one ever brings up that he’s in the Hall of Fame, despite him being one of the oldest and more beloved employees in the company.

I’ve already explained the reasons for the feuds so I’ll spare you from a repeat. Hogan’s pop is otherworldly. We start off with a rematch of the main event of Wrestlemania as Savage and DiBiase are going at it once again. If you can find it, and it might be on the Savage DVD, find the cage match that these two have. It’s absolutely great. Gorilla and Jesse praise DiBiase and call him championship material.

Truer words have never been spoken. For those of you that have never read my Wrestlemania 4 review, there’s an interesting story on the original plans for Wrestlemania 4. In case you’ve forgotten, DiBiase had a master plan which involved Andre taking out Hogan or at least wearing him down enough so that DiBiase would win the tournament and therefore the title. Savage would have been facing Honky for the IC Title and wouldn’t be an issue.

In the original booking, that was going to be what happened: DiBiase’s plan worked and he would be champion over the summer with Hogan chasing him for the one on one rematch but never getting the clean win. Savage would take the title at Summerslam which I guess would have also had Hogan-Andre 3 or something. Then the Mega Powers angle would have been 8 months long instead of a year.

Savage would have been IC champion and having a feud with Bigelow and dropping the belt to him before fighting DiBiase, although I’ve heard the Bigelow story from far fewer sources. That’s actually not a horrible idea and I really like it. However, Honky more or less cried about losing the title so we got what we got now.

ANYWAY, they’re fighting here and now in a non title match at the beginning of the main event of the longest feeling show of all time. See, even the descriptions have to be overly long. Actually they’re not as Hercules is in now. Rooster goes for some hold that would later be called the sharpshooter. The idea behind Rooster at this point was more or less Heenan saying he could manage anyone to success, even a no talent guy like chicken boy over here.

Oh yay it’s Koko vs. Rooster in a real cock fight. What? Haku, the second most successful member of his team and the current King of the WWF is in now. The announcers question tagging in Hercules again when he’s already been in. Is he tired after all of a minute in the ring and a minute rest? I know he’s not the best wrestler in the world but give him some credit. Hogan beats on Haku for awhile before Jim gets in.

Hogan gave Jim his first pair of boots which was actually a fairly sweet moment. The Red Rooster is wrestling Hillbilly Jim. My goodness this is weird to write for the main event of a PPV. Jim is the epitome of a guy that found something that worked and RAN with it. The key to Jim was simple: give him to the fans in small doses and they simply won’t get tired of him.

I can almost guarantee you that if Jim came out for a one night appearance in his traditional stuff and clapped to his song on Raw, he would get one of the biggest pops you could imagine. The fans just bought into it and it worked. Another key: he was never really a serious character and that was another key. WWE needs to understand something: not every character can reach the main event. Eugene is the best example.

As a comedy character that did random things he was INSANELY over. They put him in a big storyline and he was booed out of the building. Jim never really went past the midcard, but he’s a beloved legend that has a job to this day. See what being a goofy character and accepting that can get you? On a random note, how many times will you have a pair of Kentucky boys (Savage and Jim) in the same main event? Hogan and Rooster. KILL HIM HULK!

It’s no surprise that Taylor kept a job for so long since Vince loves cocks. Elbow kills Taylor to make it 5-4. All five have this massive party in the ring over it. The world champion pinned a jobber after everyone beat on him. Is this worth a celebration? Time for Haku and Savage. Ok make that Hulk. Yeah these fast tags are getting annoying. Haku gets a dropkick and almost misses Hogan because he’s so high in the air. That’s freaking impressive.

Jim and Akeem hammer on each other for awhile but Air Africa ends the country boy. Oh look it’s Koko again. He’s in for about 20 seconds so life is good again as Hogan replaces him. He actually uses a full nelson to hold Savage in place. Hogan used a decent submission. You’ll probably never see that again. After about 3 shots by Akeem, Koko gets Bossman Slammed and is gone thank goodness.

It’s time for Hogan against Boss Man which is the major showdown of this match. Amazingly, they would be best friends in two years. However to be fair, the storyline actually made a lot of sense when Boss Man turned face as he said he was upset that DiBiase lied about a crime being committed, which fit the character really well so at least it made sense. Hogan signals for the slam which looks like he’s raising the roof which is a stupid video waiting to happen.

Akeem comes in and the big men beat on Hogan for awhile. Hercules and Savage just watch this happen. Maybe they’re talking about how they’ve patched up their differences since last year. DiBiase FINALLY is back in as he hasn’t been in for about 15 minutes now. I’ve always loved that falling punch. Gorilla infringes on a gimmick as he says that DiBiase has excellence of execution. That’s not fair!

Hercules beats the heck out of DiBiase for awhile. Virgil trips Hercules and DiBiase pins him, making it 4-2. DiBiase is yelling at Hercules as he’s leaving and Savage makes a brilliant move and sneaks up on him for a fast rollup to eliminate him which was perfectly legal. Hercules was eliminated and Savage legally came in as the next man and pinned him. What follows is three boring minutes of the heels beating on Hogan.

It’s much shorter than the other beatdowns so I guess it’s better. It’s also Hogan being beaten on so at least it’s someone people care about. Anyway, he makes the tag and Savage holds off all three at once. That’s pretty impressive but the way they do it is believable which is appreciated. Slick goes after Liz once Boss Man catches Savage. Hogan goes for the save and all three beat on him and handcuff him to the bottom rope.

In doing so, Bossman is counted out so it’s 2-2 but Hogan is cuffed. He beats on Hogan with the nightstick for awhile to really bust him up. Akeem is disqualified in a rather lame method to make it the Mega Powers against Haku. It just looked stupid to say the least. After Haku hits some basic offense on Savage, he misses a kick to Savage which hits Slick, knocking the key out of his hand. Hogan picks it up to escape. Savage tags him in and you know the rest.

Rating: D+. This needed to be 3-3 instead of 5-5. The ending was fine but the beginning was just a waste of time. Rooster, Koko, Jim and Haku were completely worthless here. At least the Twin Towers vs. the Mega Powers and Hercules vs. DiBiase were established feuds that had been built up.

This is the problem with the Survivor Series concept: it prevents matches like DiBiase and Hercules from happening and we need guys like the previously mentioned four to fill in the rest of the team spots and they’re just wastes. The ending was fine once we got rid of the nonsense, but the rest was just bad.

Jesse is with Savage and he eggs him on, saying that Savage is pissed off at Hogan. Savage says that it was just being glad that they won. Jesse keeps egging him on. Savage says the same thing and leaves. Of course, Savage would turn heel soon enough. Gene says good night…and that’s it?

Overall Rating: D+. This show is awful. There is one good match of the four but it goes on first and by the end it’s forgotten. This was just filler to get to the Main Event on February 3 where Savage would cut the promo of a lifetime and turn heel, going insane on Hogan and setting up the BIGGEST match possible with Hogan vs. Savage at WM 5.

That actually had the potential to match Hogan vs. Andre as far as huge and while I still thing Savage should have won that to set up Hogan vs. Savage 2 at Summerslam, it was fine. That’s a rant for a different time though, so we have this instead. That all being said, this was terrible. It was filled with all kinds of jobbers and of course the injuries hurt things a lot as well, with guys like Brunzell and Casey being on the card.

Watch the tag match and otherwise skip this. It is in DESPERATE need of 2-4 regular matches to take away about ten minutes from each match. If you factor out about 15 from each, they instantly go way up in value. It just killed the whole show dead. I really don’t want to see a 30 minute match with guys like Patera against Bravo and Santana being beaten on.

It just went on WAY too long. Other than the tag team match, the time just went on way too long. Check out the opener, which at 42 minutes has to be the longest in history, and other than that, ignore this like the plague.

 

 

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Summerslam 1991
Date: August 26, 1991
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 20,000
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Gorilla Monsoon, Roddy Piper

Obviously it’s a year later and there’s few differences. The main one is that Hogan is once again the world champion (stunning isn’t it?) and the Deadman has arrived. Other than that, there are very few differences. Hart is a singles wrestler now, so that’s the last major difference that I was forgetting. This card is really forgotten over time if you look at it from an historical standpoint.

The main event is Hogan and Warrior against Slaughter and his two cronies in a handicap match, meaning that Sheik Adnan al-Kaissie and the Iron Sheik are supposed to be equal to Hogan or Warrior? Remember Adnan? Neither do I. He was a manager in the AWA and that’s about it. The other big deal is tonight is the marriage of Savage and Elizabeth, because marriage, the most holy of unions, has to be on PPV right???

Other than that, this card is really forgettable. The main interesting point in this is what the Warrior did. He allegedly threatened to no show the PPV unless Vince paid him some obscene amount. He pulled this a few days before the PPV, and Vince really had no choice but to do what Warrior said.

This is where the “I couldn’t wait to fire him” line came from. Warrior got to the back after the match and was fired immediately. Other than that, there’s next to nothing of interest here, but I’ve seen worse cards be watchable, so maybe this one will be as well. Let’s find out.

Very standard opening with the song playing and the announcers talking about the big stuff that evening. Standard, but fine I guess.

Ricky Steamboat/Texas Tornado/British Bulldog vs. Warlord/Power and Glory

Steamboat is just called the Dragon here, and this is the famous scene where he’s dressed as a human lizard that breathes fire into the air. That’s a shame that he’s fallen this far this fast. He’d be back in WCW in just a few months where he was at least given some decent feuds and no stupid costume. Commentators completely ignore the match to talk about the matches later on in the show. Wait, they mentioned the six man.

You know I think these six…no it was just a quick thing about it. I feel like I’m watching a Nitro taping. Tornado comes in and all of a sudden they can’t stop talking about the match. I think that’s a bit of a shot at Steamboat by Vince. Literally, he was in there two and a half minutes and got one line about him. He leaves and the commentary is all about the match. We’re about 5 minutes into this and I’m still looking for a point to it.

I think it’s supposed to be Warlord vs. Bulldog, but I’m not sure really. It’s just a random group of faces vs. three heels with the same manager. I’m so utterly bored by this match that I can’t actually think of the words to explain it. It is just so standard and basic that I could see it at an FCW show. The wrestling is fine, but there’s no thought here at all. Faces win.

Rating: D. This was just so boring. Like I said, the wrestling was fine, but dang it was just there. There’s no thought, no story, no reason for this to take place. It’s an ok opener, but I would have wanted to see anything else.

Hey kids! Call this number if you want to hear a prerecorded comment from Savage or Liz about their fake wedding! Your parents won’t mind!

Mr. Perfect says he’s a great champion.

IC Title: Bret Hart vs. Mr. Perfect

Dang this was on second? This is by far and away the best match on the card and a lot of people, including Norcal, says that it’s one of the best matches ever. These two had such a magnificent chemistry together and it’s hardly ever been topped. I defy you to find a better pair of guys to have such consistent matches with. Stu and Helen are there…again. Has there ever been a match with Bret that they haven’t been at?

You don’t see them at Owen’s matches. No wonder Owen was the bitter one. Coach is there with Perfect, and sadly enough his death got NO coverage due to Misawa dying a day later. They start with a great set of back and forth stuff with no one being able to get an advantage. It’s one of those types of openings where you have a guy in control but he’s not dominating at all. Hart does that here by just having on a basic headlock.

Heenan continues to show why he’s as important as anyone on the roster as his lines about Bret’s parents make you want to cheer for Bret more than anyone else could. Perfect gets his singlet literally ripped apart by Hart which makes him look almost crazed about the match. He looks like he’s in a war despite this having been going about 7 minutes at this point. This is a great dynamic for a match as you have the young lion Bret facing the established veteran in Perfect, who has the exact same style.

Crowd is way into this one too, which is making it better. Perfect’s hair looks like he got a bad shock as his perm has practically exploded. He takes over though as Heenan is singing his praises. We get a hair toss, which isn’t something that you see that often in a men’s match. That would hurt like heck too. Imagine being tossed by your hair. If that’s going to happen to me I better be getting paid for it. There’s a good story playing out here as Perfect counters everything that Hart has.

Hart kicks out of the Perfect Plex as the fans and Heenan lose their minds. Heenan says that no one has ever done that, which is ridiculous as Warrior did it in 1990. Hart brings up the original 5 moves of doom to put Perfect in “a whole heap of trouble.” Coach breaks this up though so Perfect has control again. He drops a let between Bret’s legs and backflips out of it which is cool looking.

He does it again, and in one of the SWEETEST counters I’ve ever seen, Bret grabs his leg, puts the Sharpshooter on him on the mat from his back, spins him over and then pulls back on it for the tap out. That was freaking sweet. Bret runs over to his family to celebrate. We get to hear Stu’s voice, which I never recall hearing other than this.

Rating: A+. These guys were spot on the whole time. It was a nearly 20 minute match and I didn’t see a single botch or anything resembling a botch at all. That counter at the end was absolute perfection and it played so well into the rest of the match. These two had so much chemistry they might as well be a magnet high school. Great match all around.

Hulk Hogan has a special PPV coming up, which is nothing but his “biggest” matches. Forerunner to 24/7 I guess.

We cut to the back to see the Bushwackers and Andre the Giant, which has to the weirdest pairing of all time. Andre was completely gone at this point with big crutches holding him up. This is explained by Earthquake being the guy that injured him. This was his last major WWF appearance save for popping up at a battle royal in London a few months later, which wasn’t televised until on 24/7 and some special releases.

Bushwackers vs. Natural Disasters

It’s so sad to see the Bushwackers have to walk so slow to let Andre keep up with them. He just didn’t need to be out there at this point but you can see it in his eyes that he’s having a ball out there. His love for the business was so obvious and it’s a shame he wasn’t around for the big boom in the 90s, at least to see it if nothing else. Now in case you’re an idiot and can’t figure it out, this is a comedy match.

GREAT line by Piper. Heenan says if he were the manager of the Bushwackers he’s kill himself. Piper says go apply for the job. Piper was a freaking riot when he didn’t like someone. To further make this stupid, the Bushwackers beat them up to start. Can someone explain to me why this makes sense? Piper says that two guys from New Zealand are Americana personified. He can be a riot but he can also be a moron.

Heenan with a Larry, Darryl and Darryl joke to take the lead in the best commentator of the night race. Andre continues to point and grunt about various things. Heenan leaves to interview Hogan as the ND finally take control and the match gets boring in a hurry. Did the Wackers EVER do anything of note? I can’t remember anything.

Anyway, as expected, this ends with a Bushwacker, the one that licked me at a house show, getting pinned. Afterwards the Disasters go after Andre but the LOD run out for the save and the showdown that I’m not sure ever occurred.

Rating: C-. It was a comedy match. What do you really expect here? It was however, pretty short so it could have been far, far worse.

Heenan goes to Hogan’s dressing room with the NWA title to continue what should have been the biggest showdown of all time, but they somehow screwed it up. Heenan’s unveiling of the NWA Big Gold Belt in 91 still ranks in my top five most awesome moments in wrestling history. Hogan (never seen or heard) slams the door in his face.

More Savage/Liz phone line ads. Macho is shown on the phone line. This is just stupid.
DiBiase and Mooney recap the Virgil/DiBiase history. As bad as Virgil was, this match was actually kind of epic as the pop for Virgil finally turning was pretty big. This is the rematch from Mania 7 where Virgil won by countout.

Million Dollar Title: Ted DiBiase vs. Virgil

The wrestling here isn’t the appeal. Virgil has had very few matches at this point while DiBiase is one of the best in ring workers of all time. Surprisingly enough, DiBiase dominates early on. It’s pretty basic with punches and kicks with a roll-up here or there. There’s just not a lot to say about the first half of this match. Both guys are going pretty light out there which is fine I think, as it’s really more about the storyline than the match itself.

Piper was Virgil’s mentor so he’s cheering wildly for him. Heenan gets in a great line about Virgil being so dumb he’ll try to bronze the gold belt. After about 5 minutes of Virgil getting beaten up, he catches DiBiase in a Million Dollar Dream until Sherri runs in to cause the DQ as Piper absolutely snaps.

HOWEVER!

The referee decides that’s not fair and sends Sherri to the back while ordering the match to continue. Now we get a better match as they’re going a bit harder but Virgil is hurt after being hit by the loaded purse. DiBiase proceeds to kick his body guarding self from one side of the ring to the other, but the ref was bumped so we have no one to count the pin.

A piledriver (which is what love feels just like sometimes) puts him nearly out as DiBiase takes off the turnbuckle. Virgil counters and rams him in twice. I don’t like the ending though as it takes Virgil about 20 seconds to get the cover and the win. Piper goes insane over this.

Rating: B. As I said, this was all storyline and it was a very fun one. Virgil rising up to face DiBiase and say that he’d had enough, leading to the big blowoff of him winning the title that literally was DiBiase’s was just perfect. The wrestling was pretty bad, but the emotion makes up for it.

The Mountie says he’ll win tonight.

Big Bossman says he’ll win tonight.

Jailhouse Match: Big Bossman vs. Mountie

The loser spends a night in a New York jail, which is kind of an interesting idea. This was around the time that Mountie was using this stupid shock stick to attack people. Monsoon says this will be a classic. That’s just comical. Piper would finally beat Mountie as he had a vest or something that absorbed the electricity, which is actually brilliant. There’s all kinds of bad prison jokes by Heenan here as this is supposed to be a huge match.

Apparently the loser also gets arrested and will have a criminal record. Dude, seriously, this is absurd. I still can’t get over the fact that Mountie beat Bret Hart and Hogan. You’d think he was Edge or something. This is a pretty boring match as once again it’s all about storyline as the match really just doesn’t live up to the hype.

Gorilla says that Hart is the best advertisement for birth control he’s ever seen. It just kind of happens slowly and no one cares about this match. Bossman wins and they take Mountie to jail, in one of the dumbest things I’ve ever seen.

Rating: D. I can’t believe I liked this as a kid. The styles just didn’t mesh. Mountie was better when he wrestled as a light weight, not this. Boss Man was outliving his usefulness at this point, but that can be attributed to them never really giving him a serious push. This whole gimmick as just dumb and the match was even worse.

DiBiase is mad that he lost the title, which was stolen from him.

Hart is happy about winning the title.

Jimmy Hart is with the Natural Disasters and is FREAKING OUT over Mountie. This is a pretty funny bit from him. The Disasters want the LOD. That’s not a good idea.

Boss Man makes fun of the Mounite as we must be on an intermission.

Gene is talking to Savage who is nervous, so let’s plug his phone call thing.

Holy

Freaking

Goodness

They actually put the intermission clock on the screen! It’s 5 minutes of dead silence, with the Savage phone number on the screen. You can hear the crowd cheering something. Boy it would be fun to actually SEE what they’re cheering for wouldn’t it? This is freaking stupid. I’m sitting here for 5 minutes waiting on a clock to count down. Why in the world was this left on the home video? I don’t want to look at a countdown.

Right now I’d rather read a book or something like that. We would have had to pay for this back in the day. After turning off my Best of Starrcade DVD which is more interesting to look at the box of than this countdown, we come back…to the Summerslam logo! My goodness people wonder why no one bought wrestling PPVs back in the day. At least give us some promos or something. Is it really that hard to do?

We go straight to the jail, where Mountie is arriving. My goodness, WHY WASN’T THIS USED DURING THE BREAK? If you want to have a live intermission that’s cool but don’t waste the money of the people paying by making them watch a freaking clock. That’s just stupid. Yeah this isn’t funny.

The Nasty Boys are in the back and Jimmy is still losing it. This is going to be a street fight for the belts against the LOD. The champions leave but first, we go back the jail where Mountie is panicking over everything, this time being photographed which is apparently like taking his soul.

Gene is with the LOD who say this is right up their alley. This promo is more about the Natural Disasters than the title match they have next. But before that silly thing like a tag title match, we go back for more “comedy” as Mountie is offended by getting his fingerprints taken.

MORE promos as I’m just sick of these now. Slaughter and company say they’ll win. This is just freaking ridiculous as we’ve gone 20 minutes since the end of the last match.

Screw it I give up. Sid has to do a promo now since he’s the referee for the main event. Did we really need the 5 minute clock with all these promos? Was this intermission half an hour? We see a video of Sid being offered a spot with Slaughter’s team.

Tag Titles: Nasty Boys vs. Legion of Doom

What the heck, you mean you don’t want to interview the caterers? Like I said this is a street fight for the belts. It’s kind of funny hearing Gorilla have to play babysitter between the two commentators. LOD is WAY over. Piper says that stands for look out dummy. Actually I believe it stands for Legion of Doom there Roddy. Big brawl of course to start us off.

We talk about Sid a lot as the referee tries to get people to tag in and out. I will never get the point of that in a street fight. And after the first few minutes it becomes a regular tag match. Well sure why not. Hawk plays Ricky Morton in a weird casting decision. Sags hits a top rope elbow on Hawk for two as Animal saves.

Animal comes in off the fairly hot tag and yeah this is going to be dominance. The Nasties get in a helmet (Jimmy’s trademark with them for some reason) shot to Hawk which does nothing for the most part. Hawk hits both guys with it and the Device on Sags gives them their first WWF Tag Titles.

Rating: D. This was pretty weak for the most part. It started and ended fairly hot but the middle is just dull. It’s a tag team match for about 5 minutes and the rest is nothing at all. There’s nothing here worth anything other than the LOD getting their first tag titles which took them forever to get. Pretty weak here but it was quick. One thing though: did ANYONE not see the title change coming? Anyone? Nah I didn’t think so.

Uh oh. I think that crazy Mountie might be up to more hijinks. Let’s see what kind of shenanigans he’s gotten himself into this time, that little rascal. Oh look at this! That hilarious Mountie got put inside a cell! What kind of improbably circumstances could he find himself in there? Wait and see!

Survivor Series promo.

I.R.S. vs. Greg Valentine

Yep, it’s a filler on a show with a 5 minute intermission. I wonder if this qualifies for the worst booked show of all time. Valentine was completely done at this point and this was to do nothing but put over Irwin. Both guys here are great workers though so if you can ignore the stupidity of putting this on next to last after the ridiculous amount of filler we’ve already had, this could be a good match.

Apparently Roberts and Taker are in Madison Square Garden which is a huge deal. Yeah it’s not like those two could be on the card or something like that. Oh hey, did you hear that Mountie is in jail? Not sure if I made that clear, but Mountie is in jail for the night. About five minutes into this match, we address it. Remember what I said about this might be ok? I was wrong, this match sucks.

Valentine puts the figure four on him but he gets to the ropes without really selling it at all. He goes for it again and gets rolled up with a shoulder up and kicking out before the three, but I guess the referee says end this suckage now and I’ll buy you an Air Supply album. That’ll keep Valentine distracted for hours.

Rating: D+. I feel so bad for guys like this when the commentators aren’t the least bit interested in the match. At least give them something to work on. No one wanted to see this and it would have been better being much earlier in the show. It was pretty bad, but if the announcers had actually tried, it would have been at least watchable.

Hogan says to buy his PPV in the fall.

Hogan and Warrior are feeling patriotic apparently. The big problem with the whole Iraq storyline was this: the war had ended 6 months ago. There’s a running story/joke that Vince was hoping the war went until May so the main event of Mania would have made sense. Of course, since the writers were lazy even back then, which I believe the writers consisted of Vince back then, let’s just keep it going for another 6 months instead of having a real main event at Summerslam.

Slaughter/Mustafa/Adnan vs. Hogan/Warrior

Let me make this clear: no one cares. Sid is the referee instead of having him face Warrior in what could have been a big match, or a Warrior/Hogan vs. Slaughter rematch which also would have been an interesting match. Ok no it wouldn’t have been but it would have been a real main event. The world champion is in a freaking handicap match at Summerslam. This is so stupid. Let’s get this nonsense over with please.

In case you can’t tell, I freaking hate this show. The faces dominate early as the fans cheer and no one is surprised. The only interesting thing here is to watch Warrior as he knows it’s his last match. Nothing special from him as Hogan gets beaten down and has to get beaten up by a couple of 50 year olds. He even takes the camel clutch from the man he beat for the world title 7 and a half years ago. That’s just weird to think about.

Hulkamania was born less than 8 years before this. They actually acknowledge that he’s the Sheik which I didn’t remember them doing. Hogan makes his comeback and tags Warrior, who beats up the heels but then gets beaten down himself. My goodness where do they come up with this brilliant storytelling? I’ve never seen anything like it (tonight at least)!

Warrior with his comeback and then it’s a brawl, no one is interested, Warrior grabs a chair and chases the two near senior citizens to the back because he can’t beat them on his own where he’s promptly fired. Hogan uses some powder and pins Slaughter with Sid doing absolutely nothing of note the entire match. Posing ensues as Sid joins him. This was a BIG waste of time.

Rating: D. There is absolutely no thought in this match at all. It’s two faces against three heels. I don’t think there was any buildup, and if there was it’s not mentioned here. Hogan was about to drop the title to Taker in two months, and Taker isn’t even on the card.
There was a home video released where this same match happened, but Taker was in it instead of the old guy not named Iron Sheik. Now wouldn’t that have been better here? This was called the Match Made In Hell. That’s a perfect title, because it would be perfect in the 8th circle of eternal torment. Horrible match and I’m glad it’s over.

And one more time, we see the Mountie in jail, this time being hit on by a fat biker. See, it’s funny because the biker wants to screw Mountie. See why that’s funny? I want to make sure it’s known that this is designed to be a joke, because I don’t think they made it clear enough. That’s a bit risqué for 1991.

We get the whole promo of Savage proposing to Liz, as this is the match made in heaven. See what they did? Match made in heaven and its opposite? See how intelligent Vince was to imply one was good and one was bad? Oh yeah that’s awesome indeed. In case that’s not enough emotion for you, we get a 4 minute music video, highlighting their entire history. The thing at Mania was amazing stuff and for the simple reason of it was spontaneous. This is just overkill.

The wedding is of course in the middle of the ring, which is of course set up to look like a chapel. Savage comes out first, in his hat, which has a, I’m not making this up, two foot high feather on it. We even have stupid flower girls and ring bearers. Could this get any sappier? Liz comes out looking stunning of course as the only thing that’s appealing about the whole thing. They say I do and the show ends.

Now for the actual good part: the reception. This was a bonus on some versions of the tape that has some of the best comedy I’ve ever seen. We get the standard stuff: toast, first dance, cake, etc. One thing that’s funny here is Gene says Mr. and Mrs. Macho. Shouldn’t it be Mr. and Mrs. Savage? Now we get to the really good part, as they open their wedding gifts.

Savage opens one and finds a blender. “WE GOT A BLENDER!!!” For some reason this is just freaking hysterical to me. He sounds like he won the WWF Title or something. Anyway, they get some candlesticks to which Savage shouts that next time they should send money. Liz looks at him, wondering what’s this about next time. Savage turns back and yells KIDDING! Then it kicks off as Liz opens a box to find a King Cobra.

Taker appears out of nowhere and blasts Savage in the head with the urn. Did no one see the SEVEN FOOT TALL GUY IN ALL BLACK AND A COWBOY HAT??? Jake comes in with a snake handler’s glove and another snake, yet no one stopped him either. Sid comes in with a wooden chair to run them off as we end with me laughing my head off at it.

Overall Rating: D. This show sucked. It has ONE good match. The rest is bad comedy and a horrible main event. I literally couldn’t remember what the main event was at this show when I was trying to think of it the other day. That should happen at Judgment Day or something, not freaking SUMMERSLAM.

Half the show was dedicated to an unfunny angle that was a waste of time. There is one match that’s bringing this up to a D from an F-. Watch that, and that’s it. This might be the worst of the big four that I’ve ever seen, including WM 11.

 

 

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WrestleReunion VI
Date: January 28, 2012
Location: The Westin Los Angeles Airport, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 900
Commentators: Excalibur, Marty DeRosa

I’m not completely sure on the name of this show as I’ve seen it as both WrestleReunion VI and Pro Wrestling Superstars: Los Angeles but I’ll take the one with Roman numerals. As you can probably guess, it’s a big time indy reunion show featuring a bunch of wrestlers from years past, which can make for some interesting matchups but often some lackluster performances. Let’s get to it.

Here are Mick Foley and Mike Tyson to open things up so there is certainly some star power. Foley talks about his history with Tyson and mentions being a guest referee tonight. Now usually he promises to call a match right down the line and tonight he’s refereeing the New Age Outlaws vs. the Steiner Brothers. This time though Foley needs our help “because Rick Steiner has never liked me and Scotty is out of his f****** mind.” I’ve been watching Mick Foley for about thirty years and I don’t think I can remember three times I’ve heard him use an F bomb. I mean he’s right, but it’s rare.

Usually he’s going to get physically involved, but tonight he isn’t crazy enough to do that. This time though, he has Mike Tyson watching his back so he’s safe to head to St. Louis for the Royal Rumble (that gets a heck of a pop). Tyson takes the mic and talks about various wrestlers he likes, including Billy Graham and Sid Vicious. I really can’t make out most of what he’s saying, but that’s Tyson for you.

We get our first commentary and…..well actually Excalibur is quite good at this kind of show so it should be fine.

Arik Royal vs. Adam Page

This is one of the things I love about watching old shows because Page is 21 years old here and absolutely nothing. Excalibur tells DeRosa to calm down a bit and save some energy, which makes me chuckle for reasons of the future. The bigger Royal goes after the arm to start as commentary actually talks about something interesting, with a discussion of the pressure of having to follow Foley and Tyson.

Royal hits a headscissors into an armdrag but misses the backsplash, allowing Page to miss a standing shooting star. We get a standoff for a bit until Royal nails a spinwheel kick. Royal goes up but dives into a dropkick to the floor. Page tries a running shooting star off the apron and hits Royal’s chest with his head for a nearly terrifying landing. Page takes his necklace back and goes inside…..but we’ve got VADER. I think we’ll call this a no contest at about 4:00 as this is going to be a massacre.

Rating: C-. The ratings are going to be a little bit lighter this time around as this is a one off legends show and not about the match quality. I’ve seen Royal before and he did fine in both matches so he seems to have a little something going for him. Then there’s Page, who would go on to become a huge star on national television. That’s one of the things I love about watching a show like this: seeing someone who is nothing here but would go on to bigger things. Not much of a match of course, but VADER, so we’re fine.

Royal jumps Page post match….and then decides to go after Vader. Well maybe that’s why Page became a bigger star. Vader runs him over so Page tries to come in for a German suplex. Excalibur: “ARE YOU ANTONIO INOKI PAGE???” Destruction ensues but Royal gets up to help double team Vader in the corner.

A double suplex isn’t happening though and Vader mauls Royal again. Royal manages to trap Vader’s arms so Page can go up….but then Vader breaks free and hits Royal in the head. Page gets caught on top and it’s there’s a Vader Bomb. Royal gets chokeslammed and Page gets powerbombed as the Vader stuff went on a good bit longer than the match itself.

New Age Outlaws vs. Steiner Brothers

The only meeting ever here, with Mick Foley (“The hardcore legend and friend of Mike Tyson!”) as guest referee. Road Dogg does his usual stuff and hands it off to Billy Gunn to take it home. Gunn: “IF YA SMELL……” Hang on because that’s not right. Gunn knows he screwed up so let’s try it again. Gunn: “AND THAT’S THE BOTTOM….” No again, but he gets it right on the third time. You can tell he’s serious here too because he’s in the Kip James trunks. Then we get very serious because Scott Steiner grabs the mic and drops his first homophobic slur of the night.

We get a few F bombs to the fans and it’s time to go. Actually hang on because Foley realizes that he’s in over his head here and says he’ll be cowering in the corner. Billy and Scott finally get things going with Scott unloading in the corner. Well at least hitting some slow knees to the ribs. Billy fights out of the corner by punching Scott in the face and it’s off to Dogg. Rick comes in with a double clothesline though and we get the old Steiner Brothers pose.

The Outlaws bail to the floor (Wouldn’t you?) until we settle down to Rick biting Dogg’s pants in the corner. That’s enough to send Dogg outside to ring the bell because he isn’t standing for Rick’s tongue going…..uh, somewhere. Dogg: “I’m not saying we can’t have a drink later and talk about it, but in here, I’m not standing for it!” Ring announcer: “Ladies and gentlemen, referee Mick Foley has just informed me that he is authorizing tongue in the a** for this match!”

We settle back to Rick backing Billy into the corner, with Gunn’s trunks coming down a good bit in the process. Gunn gets in a right hand but misses a charge in the corner, allowing Rick to bite him right in the middle of the back of the trunks. That sends Gunn over to grab Dogg around the waist, giving us the expected reaction. It’s off to Dogg, who wants Scott for no logical reason. He has to stay with Rick, who he drives into the Steiner corner so Scott can come in for some shots to the ribs. Well he got what he wanted.

Dogg’s bouncing punches manage to put Scott down for two, with the fans saying YOU STILL GOT IT. I’ll let you figure out which one they’re talking about. Scott is back with a spinning belly to belly suplex and Rick gets in some choking from the apron. Foley: “MIKE TYSON FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WHERE ARE YOU???” Scott suplexes Dogg and goes into the pushups, earning a cheer despite not being so nice earlier in the night.

Rick slaps on the crossface of all things as Marty gets his Mike Tyson history wrong (by saying that Mike Tyson called Steve Austin “Cold Stone” on Raw when it was at the Royal Rumble). Dogg fights up and gets the hot tag off to Gunn for some house cleaning. The belly to belly cuts that off and it’s time for Scott to get in Foley’s face. That means Mr. Socko…..who goes flying after a single Scott glare. The distraction lets Gunn hit the Fameasser for a pretty fast three at 11:32.

Rating: C. All things considered, this was not half bad whatsoever. They were actually working a bit and while of course it wasn’t great (they’re old and mainly retired), they did some goofy stuff to bridge the gap. The Foley being scared stuff helped a lot and I liked it well enough. For a one off dream match, I’ve seen far, far worse.

Post match Rick finds Socko and has some Alex flashbacks (look it up).

Colt Cabana vs. Fit Finlay

Under World Of Sport (British) rules and a fan who won an auction gets to handle the introductions. There are three five minute rounds and you can win by pin, submission or knockout. There are no closed fists allowed either, which probably won’t make that much of a difference but it’s certainly a rule. Another fan gets to be Cabana’s corner man but Cabana says we’re about two minutes away. The referee goes over the rules, with Cabana asking if a kick low is legal (Cabana: “WHAT ABOUT A KICK TO THE D***?”).

We get the bell to start the first round, as commentary still hasn’t actually explained the rules here. Finlay grabs Cabana’s leg so Cabana bails into the corner in a hurry as commentary explains the idea of the Troubles in Northern Ireland. A shot to the face rocks Cabana again and the corner man has to check on his face.

That seems to be ok so Finlay takes him down into a toehold. Finlay grabs a nerve hold and ribs at Cabana’s face because he’s kind of an awesome villain. Back up and Finlay starts in on the arm, with commentary almost calling Finlay a grizzled young veteran (like that would ever work for a UK wrestler). Cabana finally comes back with a headlock takeover and one fan calls it boring. Round one ends but Cabana doesn’t want to let go of the headlock that he worked so hard to get in the first place.

After the corner man gives Cabana some water and towels him down, we’re ready to go with round two. Some uppercuts rock Cabana as Excalibur says he suffers from knowitallism. Finlay stomps on the fingers and kicks him in the face before sending Cabana outside for a needed breather. The corner man adds some slaps (despite NOT being in the corner) and we get some Cabana sneering. Finlay heads outside to yell at a fan so Cabana tells the corner man to slap Finlay in the face.

Thankfully that isn’t going to happen so Finlay doesn’t get to do something so horrible that I can’t come up with a good metaphor for the level of violence. Back in and Finlay hits some elbows to send him outside, setting up a whip into the barricade. They get back inside for some arm cranking/stomping into a keylock to keep Cabana down. The round ends with Finlay evening things up by not letting go of the arm either, which does not seem good for Cabana either.

Finlay goes extra evil by jumping Cabana during his meeting with the corner man. The Fujiwara armbar goes on to start the third round but Cabana fights up. That earns him an arm first whip into the corner and it’s back to the armbar with a knee in the shoulder. A Jake Roberts short arm clothesline sets up the running seated senton but Cabana reverses into a sunset flip for a creative counter. The Flying Apple (which might not have been named yet) connects but it’s too early for the Billy Goat’s Curse. Finlay kicks him shoulder first into the post and then does it again for a bonus. The Celtic Cross finishes Cabana at 15:16.

Rating: C. This didn’t really feel like some kind of special British match as it was really just Finlay working the arm and the a regular finish. The rounds didn’t change much either and I was a bit disappointed with the whole thing. It was fine as a regular match, but they seemed to be going for something special here and it just wasn’t there.

7OH!4 vs. Unholy Alliance

7OH!4 is Caleb Konley/Cedric Alexander, with commentary saying they are the next CM Punk/Colt Cabana or Motor City Machine Guns. Eh they were names but hold on a second there. The Alliance is Tajiri/Mikey Whipwreck, former ECW Tag Team Champions but unfortunately minus James Mitchell/Sinister Minister. Konley grabs a wristlock on Mikey to start but he’s right back with a hiptoss into a headscissors despite not being the size of a guy you would expect to use a headscissors.

We hear about some rookie named Zack Ryder to come out of Mikey’s school as Tajiri comes in to a rather big reaction. Tajiri misses a swinging kick to Alexander’s face so it’s a hammerlock to take Alexander down instead. Back up and Alexander’s headlock doesn’t work and Tajiri starts firing off the kicks to the arm. Mikey comes in to pick Alexander up so Tajiri can nail a dropkick to the face. There’s a double gutbuster to Konley and stereo kicks to the head have him on the floor as the fans are rather pleased.

Mikey’s slingshot dive takes out both of them and the referee begins a rather slow count. Tajiri however won’t dive so Mikey comes back in and gets enziguried into a Downward Spiral for two (with Excalibur getting in the beta version of combiNATION, because I can’t escape the thing). Konley grabs the cravate to hold Mikey down for a bit, followed by the basement clothesline to give Alexander two. Tajiri spits at Alexander (with commentary thinking it’s Konley) and it’s a double Russian legsweep to drop Mikey for two.

Hold on though as Tajiri comes in to….pull Mikey’s pants up and then head back to the apron. Well at least he’s polite. Embracing the power of raised pants, Mikey superkicks Alexander (THE PANTS WORKED!) and it’s back to Tajiri to clean house. Everything breaks down and Tajiri’s superkick gets tow on Konley. Mikey snaps off a pretty nice Frankensteiner on Alexander and a low makes it worse. The referee checks on Alexander and Tajiri mists Konley, setting up the Whippersnapper for the pin at 10:19.

Rating: C+. I know Mikey and Tajiri were a big deal in the dying days of ECW but they were a rather nice team who still looked good here. You don’t get something like that very often and it was fun to see them working so well. Alexander and Konley were still really young here so losing to a team with some credibility, even if it was twelve years old at this point, was fine. Pretty good match here too so well done on a little surprise.

Demus 3:16 vs. Mascarita Dorado

Minis match and Dorado is better known as El Torito. Demus is a good bit bigger and is probably about Rey Mysterio size. A wristdrag takes Demus down to start and frustration is already setting in. Demus knocks him down without much effort so Dorado starts rolling around as we hear about the WWF Light Heavyweight division. Dorado pulls him into the cross armbreaker but Demus powers him up with ease because the size difference is a bit much here.

Back up and a rather spinning headscissors sends Demus outside, setting up the big suicide dive. Dorado manages to throw him back inside for a fireman’s carry, which is a little more impressive than you might think. A fireman’s carry slam sets up a moonsault but the second moonsault only hits raised boots. Demus grabs a tilt-a-whirl into a Dominator (cool) and there’s a giant swing to send Dorado down again. They head outside with Dorado being dropped onto the timekeeper’s table and Demus takes him back in for a pop up powerslam.

There’s a heck of a toss as Excalibur talks about Wolverine debuting back in the 1960s. Dorado bounces up out of the corner with a double springboard headbutt, followed by a crazy spinning (as in he spins around Demus about ten times) into a headscissors to the floor. That earns the HOLY S*** chant, setting up the top rope hurricanrana to take Demus down again. Back in and a top rope hurricanrana, with Dorado landing on his feet because, sets up another very spinning hurricanrana into a small package for the pin at 8:04.

Rating: C+. Yeah this was fun and Dorado is one of those things that has to be seen to be believed. He can do all kinds of stuff out there and makes it look easy, which is about as cool as you can get. Demus was a good target for Dorado as he is so much bigger, allowing Dorado to do all of his spots out there. Throw in getting in and out fairly fast and this was a lot of fun. Not great, but it was the kind of match that fit in perfectly on a show like this.

Dorado having a salsa version of the Mission Impossible theme makes it even better. The fans throw in the money so Dorado slaps him in the face with a dollar. That might seem rude, but Demus picks the dollar up and, ahem, cleans himself with it so Dorado is better….I guess?

Tommy Dreamer vs. Kevin Steen

Street fight and for you younger people, Steen is better known as Kevin Owens. The fans seem split here and it’s an exchange of hammerlocks to start. Dreamer’s shoulder bounces off of Steen (Steen: “IN YOUR DREAMS!”) and it’s time to hammer on Dreamer for a bit. Steen drop toeholds him down and hits the flipping legdrop to the back of Dreamer’s head. Back up and Dreamer kicks him low in the corner to send Steen outside, setting up the running flip dive off the apron.

A bottle of water to the head rocks Steen again but Dreamer gets crotched on the barricade because Dreamer spends too much time pointing at the crowd (as Dreamer tends to do). They brawl through the crowd and Steen hits him over the back with a well stolen crutch. Dreamer gets taken up onto a camera table and gets knocked down onto (not through) another table in a big crash. Back into the crowd with Dreamer hitting him in the head with a Steen DVD.

Dreamer sends him into the barricade and then heads backstage to grab the usual assortment of weapons. A hockey stick to the back rocks Steen again and there’s….something made of wood over Steen’s head. Dreamer gets sent into a plastic tray in the corner and Steen hits him in the knee with a stick. The Sharpshooter goes on (because Steen is Canadian) but is broken up in a hurry. Dreamer misses a charge into the post so Steen puts a stop sign over him to set up the Cannonball, which is not the brightest move in the world.

That lets Steen tie him in the Tree of Woe and this isn’t going to end well. Indeed, as Steen hits a running dropkick to a chair in the face. Commentary starts making Steven Segal references as Dreamer catches him on top with a superplex. Dreamer wins the big slugout so Steen goes low in a smart move. The Even Flow gets two but Dreamer catches him on top to break up a moonsault.

Now it’s Steen in the Tree of Woe so Dreamer can hit him low with a stick. There’s the running basement dropkick to drive a stop sign into Steen’s face and now it’s time to grab a piece of barricade. That takes too long though and Steen superkicks him off the apron. The fans want to see someone use a hammer but they settle for Dreamer kicking a rope for a low blow. With nothing else working, one of the fans gives Dreamer a HUGE hammer, which he uses to crush the bell between Steen’s legs. Steen is fine enough to shove Dreamer onto the piece of barricade inside and a Swanton finishes Dreamer at 19:24.

Rating: B-. This was a pretty hard hitting street fight, though it did run a good bit longer than it should have. What mattered here was the idea of the old hardcore legend vs. the new breed and that worked out rather well. I’m not wild on these matches most of the time but this one was pretty fun, which is about all you can hope for in this kind of a situation.

Post match Steen is ready to say something to Dreamer but Raven runs in to hit Steen low and DDT Dreamer for old times’ sake. Steen to Raven: “You’re a f****** a**hole!” Steen to Dreamer: “Thank you.”

Intermission, which is cut from the video.

Roderick Strong vs. Jake Manning

Manning is an adult Manscout and comes out to a John Cougar Mellencamp song, which I believe was used in the Waterboy. After Manning gives the referee some lessons on how to properly call a match, he takes Strong down to the mat for a headscissors. They grapple on the mat for a bit with Strong getting the better of things but that is broken up in a hurry. Manning takes him back down by the arm as commentary talks about how it might be difficult to find footage on Manning, who rarely leaves the southeast.

Strong is back up with a shot to the face and unloads with the chops in the corner. A belly to back suplex sets up a chinlock on Manning but he’s right back up with a kick to the face. Manning drops an elbow for two and drives Strong into the corner for the choking. They head outside with Manning sending him into the apron for two, setting up the next chinlock. That’s broken up as well and they go with a pinfall reversal sequence for some near falls each. Strong is back up with a dropkick and they’re both down for a breather.

It’s Strong up first with a bunch of running forearms into a belly to back suplex for two more. Manning comes back with an (oddly appropriate for reasons that I can’t figure out) airplane spin. Strong isn’t having that and hammers away but Manning is right back with a backbreaker into a Downward Spiral for three. Only two of them count though due to the foot being on the rope though, meaning Strong can come back with an enziguri. The Angle Slam gets two and it’s the backbreaker into the Sick Kick to finish Manning at 11:04.

Rating: C+. This is the kind of match that I like to see on a show like this, as Strong is a much bigger name than Manning but they went back and forth well enough here to make you believe that Manning could pull it off. The match worked well as Strong can have a good match against anyone and Manning held up his end despite being known for little more than his gimmick. Good stuff here, with a nice battle of the generations.

Davey Richards vs. Harry Smith

That would be Davey Boy Smith Jr., freshly released from WWE, and this could be interesting. They go with the technical exchange to start (shocking I know) with Richards getting him down into a modified surfboard and rolling him up for two. That’s broken up for a standoff and they lock up, with Smith absolutely towering over Richards. It’s back to the mat with Smith grabbing a short armscissors and rolling him around a bit.

That’s reversed into something like an Indian Deathlock from Richards to crank on the leg. Make that a Muta Lock with commentary thinking Richards would do well at Subway. Smith slips out and cranks him down by the arm, setting up a full nelson. That’s broken up as well as Richards rolls out with an armdrag, only to get pulled into a spinning belly to belly for two. More arm cranking has Richards down again but he sends Smith to the floor. There’s the running kick to the chest from the apron, setting up the suicide dive.

Back in and a missile dropkick sends Smith into the corner. It’s time to start working on the leg, with Davey kicking away and grabbing a Trailer Hitch. Richards stomps on both knees at once and it’s a dragon screw legwhip into a half crab. Now it’s an STF as the fans start shouting various things. Smith fights up and kicks him into the corner, setting up a powerslam for two.

Smith crotches him on top and grabs a delayed superplex for a slightly delayed near fall. A superkick and a powerbomb give Smith two more each but Richards kicks him down again. The top rope double stomp gets two and we hit the ankle lock. That’s broken up with a roll into the post, allowing Smith to grab a cross armbreaker. Richards rolls into another ankle lock, which Smith reverses into one of his own.

The grapevined version is countered into a Sharpshooter, which Smith reverses into his own Sharpshooter. Smith grabs a small package for two but Richards BLASTS him with a knee for the same. Back up and Smith tries a powerbomb but Richards reverses into a sunset flip. Smith sits down on it ala his dad against Bret Hart, only to have Richards slip out into a cradle for the pin at 17:26.

Rating: B. It was good action throughout and Smith looked good in defeat, but egads I had forgotten how hard it is to get invested in a Richards match. He is so ultra serious all the time, though at least he wasn’t doing his “get kicked in the head and scream a lot without selling anything” and writing it off as strong style. This got the crowd going and I certainly didn’t hate it though, which is some high praise for a Richards match.

Post match Richards says he can’t believe the people up north let Smith go. Richards talks about the similarities between the two of them, including idolizing the same people growing up. Respect is shown and Smith says it’s better to hear these fans chant his name instead of Michael Cole every Monday night. Wrestling will always be #1 for him, even if he jumps into MMA (which he didn’t).

El Generico/Great Sasuke vs. Young Bucks

The Bucks are actually young here and come out to MMMBop, which is rather frustrating. Matt does the Randy Savage finger spin and Nick parodies the Spinarooni (there’s your 90s reference). The fans go NUTS for Generico and it’s a shame that he retired so soon after this. You know Excalibur is right there with all of the Sasuke history because this is his thing.

Generico reveals a half Generico/Sasuke mask and takes Nick down to start. An exchange of wristlocks goes nowhere so Nick drives him into the corner and starts in on the arm again. We hear about how completely and utterly amazing the Bucks are as Sasuke comes in to headlock Nick. Some kicks to the ribs have little effect on Sasuke (the only time Sasuke and Rick Rude will be compared), who elbows Nick in the head. Generico comes back in and gets taken into the corner so Matt can talk a lot of trash.

A few quick armdrags have Matt in trouble as we hear about Sasuke making a documentary about mouthwash (or something). Generico hammers away on Matt in the corner and fires off chops against the ropes for a bonus. Matt is back with the headscissors to hold Generico in place, allowing Nick to kick him in the mask and into the barricade. Back in and Matt laughs at Generico, setting up the slow motion stomping.

We hit the front facelock until Nick comes back in for some shots in the corner. A handspring rake to the back sets up a slingshot hilo as Excalibur talks about how the Young Bucks have a supernatural feel for the DMZ on the thirty third parallel in the ring. Generico rakes the Bucks’ chests to escape but it’s still too early for the tag. Matt’s waistlock keeps Generico in trouble but he manages the exploder suplex into the corner.

That’s enough for the hot tag to Sasuke to clean house as everything breaks down. Sasuke dropkicks Nick through the ropes and Generico hits the big running flip dive to crush Matt. Back in and a Blockbuster gets two on Matt and Sasuke takes a LONG time to go up for a Ram Jam (from The Wrestler), allowing Matt to roll away. The Bucks take turns kicking Sasuke in the back of the trunks but it’s back to Generico for the Blue Thunder Bomb to Nick.

The Helluva Kick is broken up but Nick kicks Matt in the head but mistake. Sasuke crushes Nick with a springboard missile dropkick, only to have Nick low bridge him to the floor. A wheelbarrow faceplant gives Matt two on Generico and Risky Business gets the same. More Bang For Your Buck is countered into a half and half suplex and Sasuke is back with a powerbomb to Nick. Matt superkicks Sasuke though and everyone is down again.

Nick comes back in to knee Sasuke off the apron but Generico sends Nick’s kick into Matt’s head. You know the Bucks aren’t selling that though and it’s a double superkick into the assisted Tombstone for two on Generico with Sasuke making another save. Nick misses a moonsault and Sasuke hits a big flip dive onto Matt on the floor. That gets the fans back into it and Generico’s Swanton gets two on Nick. Now the Helluva Kick can connect to set up the brainbuster onto the buckle to finish Nick at 21:12.

Rating: B. This was better than I was expecting and it was nice to see the Bucks actually lose for a change. You don’t usually see the dream team beating the regular partners so this was quite the surprise. It really is a shame that Generico retired, as he is quite the star. You can see how influential he was too, as a lot of people would copy his style, almost down to the move at times.

Wrestle Royal

20 man Royal Rumble and Ken Shamrock is a ringside enforcer. Matt Classic (I hear Colt Cabana is a big fan) is in at #1 and Lanny Poffo is in at #2 for one of the most unique matches I can remember seeing in a long time. Commentary makes it clear that entrants will be STRICTLY timed, after an apparent issue last year. Classic slowly hammers away at the back and grabs a claw but misses the bottom rope splash. Poffo actually manages the moonsault (not bad for 57) and goes for the mask.

Rock Riddle (the original Mr. Wonderful, who I’ve never actually seen wrestle) is in at #3 as we seem to have 90 second intervals. Riddle doesn’t actually get in the ring as Classic and Poffo continue their slow motion fighting. The timing is already a bit off as Carlos Colon (The Youngster!) is in at #4. Colon gets to hit both guys in the head as commentary continues its running joke of Classic feuding with every old wrestler ever. Riddle finally comes in (I wasn’t betting on the flower print gear) for a few shots of his own as Gangrel is in at #5.

Brawling continues as Gangrel (getting a rather strong reception) bites Poffo in the corner. The clock is even further all over the place as Jesse Hernandez is in at #6. Classic gets beaten up some more but gets choked in the corner by Gangrel. Mando Guerrero is in at #7 and gets quite the reception as he beats on Classic. They finally start teasing some eliminations (and no you cannot expect any kind of serious quality out of this) until Kevin Sullivan is in at #8.

Stick shots abound until Colon headbutts the stick out of Sullivan’s hands. Colon stabs Sullivan in the stomach with said stick and then beats Gangrel in the back. Piloto Suicida (still active today) is in at #9 as the ring is really getting full. The rapid fire entrances (now barely at a minute) continue as Tommy Dreamer is in at #10 (OF COURSE Dreamer is working twice) to hammer on Gangrel as commentary talks about how these two are some of the youngest in the match. Everyone is still in as Dreamer beats on Classic, apparently as payback for all of those boring Madison Square Garden main events.

Robbie E., the reigning TNA TV Champion, is in at #11 and promises to become the youngest ever winner of this match. Then Dreamer tosses him in a hurry for a funny bit. Virgil (to Ted DiBiase’s music) is in at #12 as Poffo, Colon and Guerrero were all put out somewhere. Greg Valentine, coming out to Sharp Dressed Man of all things, is in at #13. Classic is doing Hindu squats as Sullivan hits Suicida with the bell. Valentine has Dreamer in the Figure Four as Gangrel drops elbows.

Konnan is in at #14 to go after Sullivan, with commentary (thankfully) bringing up the Dungeon of Doom. Dan Severn is in at #15 and this could be interesting. Gangrel goes after Severn in a hurry as the ring is too full again. Jimmy Hart, with a lot of padding, of all people is in at #16 and wisely walks around the ring for a bit.

Godfather, with his ladies, is in at #17 and Gangrel eliminates himself to join in. Hart was eliminated off screen and Brutus Beefcake is in at #18 (dang I miss that theme) and goes after Valentine to ruin the Dream Team reunion. Bradley Ray Schreak (an auction winner) is in at #19 as Sullivan is out. Beefcake grabs the sleeper on Schreak as Suicida is out. Schreak gets a haircut, including with the big scissors, as Severn gets rid of Virgil. The match completely stops for the haircut until Schreak wakes up and panics over his hair being gone.

That’s enough for an elimination and it’s Raven in at #20 (with Dreamer waiting on him) to complete the field. The final grouping is Classic, Dreamer, Valentine, Konnan, Severn, Godfather, Beefcake and Raven. Hang on though as Raven doesn’t want to get in, only to have Kevin Steen come out and jump him from behind. Steen throws Raven in for a DDT from Dreamer, who tosses Raven without much trouble. Dreamer, ever the genius, jumps out to beat on Raven some more and beats him to the back with Steen. Classic is eliminated and there goes Konnan.

We’re down to Severn, Valentine, Beefcake and Godfather (I love indy wrestling) but Shamrock distracts Severn, allowing Valentine to toss him. Severn pulls Valentine out and we’re down to two. The Ho Train misses Godfather but he low bridges Beefcake out for the win at 23:12.

Rating: C. Fun. What other word is there to describe something like this? They weren’t trying to do anything serious here and it was all about having people get a quick payoff and come out to a pop. It worked at the Gimmick Battle Royal in 2001 and it works at any show like this. I had a good time with it and that’s the entire point of this kind of match. It’s a lot of fun, and well done on doing what they should have.

The women come in to dance with Godfather, who hits his catchphrase (while clearly having a blast) to wrap up the night.

Overall Rating: B. I’ve seen a good number of these reunion style shows and this was one of the better ones, with a nice mixture of old vs. new and some legends matches thrown in there as well. They had some big names included and while they might have had a better option as the main event (though it did fit the reunion theme), this was a lot of fun. It’s longer than it needs to be (at nearly three and a half hours, not counting intermission), but I had a good time with it and that is entirely the goal with something like this.

 

 

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