So yeah, this is tomorrow.

We’ll start with the main event. I’ll take Bully Ray to beat Bobby Roode in the tables match with a powerbomb. No seriously that’s the main event. If you watch Impact, this is the match we’ve heard the most of all month long. I don’t quite get the appeal of having people put each other through tables for a month and then pay to see them put each other through one more table but that’s just me.

Eric Young keeps the title because…..well because Eric Young is World Champion in a major wrestling company and according to them it’s not a ripoff of Daniel Bryan.

I’ll take Angelina to take the Knockouts Title because it’s the easiest thing they can do to keep the division as boring as possible.

I’ll actually take Storm to win the I Quit match, presumably through the use of someone else like Gunner’s dad. Why this feud is still going is anyone’s guess as this is about the fourth match that should have blown the thing off.

Angle/Willow over Carter/Spud to give the good guys their revenge. Again there’s no real thinking in this but that’s the case for almost everything in TNA anymore.

Give me Sanada over Tigre Uno in a match that just didn’t need to be a best of three at all.

I have a feeling Shaw wins the Committed match over Anderson with Christy’s help because Russo is back on the creative team as a consultant and that’s one of his favorites.

Oh and the Wolves get the belts back which should be their first reign but we needed them to win in Japan or whatever.

As I’m sure you can tell, I REALLY do not care about this show at all. That was what went through my head the entire show on Thursday and it’s the same case here. TNA is just not very interesting right now and the majority of the show feels like something they remembered doing before and just swapped the names around. It’s not interesting for the most part and there really isn’t much I want to see on this show which doesn’t need to be a PPV in the slightest. Things can turn around, but I don’t see much good going on at the moment.

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Impact Wrestling
Date: April 24, 2014
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Taz, Mike Tenay

It’s the go home show for Sacrifice and we have most of the card set up if you can remember some of the matches we’ve heard discussed here or there. Things are being set up for the TV show week to week, which defeats the purpose of having monthly PPVs but it’s TNA so you know they have to screw up something every now and then. Let’s get to it.

Angle is warming up in the back and says if Spud backs out of their match tonight, he’s coming for EC3.

We recap the World Title change from a few weeks ago and last week’s Monster’s Ball match.

Here’s Magnus with what looks like a grappling hook. He calls out Abyss because it’s the Monster’s fault that Magnus lost the title. Magnus calls Abyss a blithering idiot. The weapon in his hand is part of a turnbuckle and Magnus yells at Abyss for not coming down to ringside. Abyss says he’d be fired if he came down so Magnus fires him anyway. The monster says that it was never about the money but wanting to belong to someone. Abyss says he’s still a monster and looks to want a fight but here’s MVP to interrupt.

MVP says calm down and that Abyss isn’t his favorite person after Abyss hit him with a chair a few weeks ago. However, MVP is all about second chances so maybe Abyss should be offered a full time spot on the roster if he can win his match tonight. That match is of course against Magnus and MVP literally skips away. Abyss is thrilled and promises to take care of Magnus tonight.

Spud tells EC3 to save the speech this week but EC3 cuts him off and says last week he saw a ghost. It was actually real though and there’s only one man that can beat Angle: Carter himself. Tonight Spud needs to be a gazelle for Carter. Ethan adjusts Spud’s tie and the picture is starting to make sense to the Rockster.

Rockstar Spud vs. Kurt Angle

Spud goes for a leg dive and is literally thrown across the ring. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker puts Spud down and Angle no sells everything until Carter trips him up to give Spud quick control. Angle runs the ropes for the suplex and the ankle lock gets the win at 2:04.

Ethan clips Angle post match but Willow makes the save.

The Beautiful People promise to give Madison a makeover.

Kenny King is in MVP’s office when the boss comes in. King thinks he should be the top name on this program so MVP gives him a match right now.

Here’s Madison Rayne for even more talking. She calls out the Beautiful People so here’s Angelina to yell at her for trying to be a role model. Madison apologizes and the fight is on until the numbers catch up with her. They load up the bag but Brittany comes in to try for a save. That goes as well as you would expect and Velvet hits In Yo Face to Madison. Now Rayne gets the bag.

Mr. Anderson has something special planned for Samuel Shaw tonight.

Gail Kim wants to team up with Madison to help fight the Beautiful People. Madison accepts and Brittany promises to be there again.

Kenny King vs. Bobby Lashley

Lashley easily throws King down a few times to start and runs him over before throwing King off a headlock. King bails to the floor and tries to sneak up on Bobby, only to have Lashley pull a reverse leapfrog into a powerslam. Lashley moves the referee out of the corner and blocks a pike in the eye but gets caught by the other hand. King snaps Bobby’s throat across the top rope and scores with a springboard missile dropkick.

Bobby fights back with pure power and hits a hard shoulder in the corner. Lashley grabs King’s boot to the ribs but gets kicked in the head. King tries a Blockbuster but gets caught in mid air for a suplex. That looked awesome. King dives away to avoid the spear and takes the countout at 5:37.

Rating: D+. The Blockbuster counter was awesome but this was a VERY dull match otherwise. It was basically a squash until King walked out at the end. I’m not sure how seeing Kenny getting beaten up for four minutes and then leaving makes me want to see him fight even more but there are a lot of things I don’t get in TNA.

Mr. Anderson goes to see Samuel Shaw’s family and the mom’s name is Christy. Anderson’s face is rather amusing. More on this later.

Beer Money has a talk in the back and after ranting about history a bit, Storm wants credit for making Gunner what he is today.

Austin Aries vs. MVP

This is a result of Aries turning his back on MVP at Lockdown and then losing the match. Aries grabs a cravate to start but MVP takes over with a wristlock. A nice flip gets Aries out of a headlock and he nails MVP with a low dropkick. MVP comes right back with a facebuster and the Ballin Elbow but Aries bails outside. The boss dives onto Aries as the announcers are in their own little world. Aries dropkicks him back to the floor and hits a top rope ax handle so let’s talk about Abyss.

Back in and the slingshot hilo sets up a running elbow drop for two on MVP and a middle rope elbow to the back gets the same. Aries misses the running dropkick but bites his way out of a standing choke. MVP comes right back with a discus lariat for two but walks into a facebuster to put both guys down. Aries misses a 450 and the Drive By is good for the pin at 6:38.

Rating: C. It’s the best match and segment of the night but I’m still not interested in what they’re doing here. That’s the story of the entire show so far: it’s just not all that interesting and things aren’t getting much better. MVP beating Aries changes nothing and it ends a storyline that didn’t have a lot of interest in the first place. How does seeing this make me want to buy Sacrifice?

Video on Sanada.

Back at the Shaw house with the mom straight out of Leave it to Beaver talking about how talented her son is. She’s baking homemade apple pie for Samuel who still lives in the basement. So what was the apartment he took Christy to a few months ago?

James Storm/Bobby Roode vs. Bully Ray/Gunner

Storm grabs a headlock on Ray after a break but both members of Beer Money are taken down with backdrops. Gunner comes in to work on Storm’s arm as we hear about their latest gimmick match on Sunday, this one being an I Quit match. Ray fights out of the corner but Roode distracts the referee so Storm can crotch him against the post. Storm: “IT’S BECAUSE YOU’RE FAT!”

Back in and Roode cranks on a front facelock until Ray fights up, only to be slammed back down. Ray comes back with a suplex and makes the hot tag to Gunner for some house cleaning. Gunner plays D-Von for What’s Up on Storm and it’s table time. Ray misses an elbow from the apron to drive himself through the table. Back inside Gunner hits an F5 on Roode but walks into the Last Call for the pin at 7:05.

Rating: C-. Nothing wrong with mixing up two feuds, but at the end of the day I’ve seen Gunner vs. Storm so many times now that I’m not interested in it anymore. Roode vs. Ray is fine but I’ve pretty much forgotten why they’re fighting (and no I’m not asking people to tell me). The match was fine though.

Magnus says it’s his time.

Anderson goes downstairs with the mom giving a creepy wave as the door shuts. Mr. sees something and says oh my god as we go to a break.

Anderson looks at the room and it’s designed like an 8 year old’s. Shaw comes in and does something as the cameraman leaves. The mom is still the same kind of Stepford Wife that she was before and hugs her son as he comes up from the basement. Creepy, creepy segment.

Beautiful People vs. Gail Kim/Madison Rayne

Madison cleans house to start and the Beautiful People are knocked to the floor for a double dropkick through the ropes. Velvet and Madison are back in the ring now for Madison’s crotch slam to the mat before it’s back to Gail for some right hands and a clothesline. Kim misses a charge into the corner and it’s off to Angelina for some shots to the face. She gets caught in the corner for Gail’s running cross body to the ribs though and everything breaks down.

Back in for a leg choke from Gail to make Angelina look annoyed. Sky’s distraction breaks up the hold and Angelina grabs a sleeper, only to have Gail come out with a backbreaker. Rayne comes back in for a bad looking enziguri as the crowd goes SILENT. Not for a botch or anything but because they just don’t seem interested. Thankfully Angelina gets the hint and rolls up Madison with a handful of tights for the pin at 5:00.

Rating: D. The crowd told the whole story here. There was just nothing interesting going on out there and the people didn’t care. It’s the same story we’ve seen about 8,000 times now in this division and nothing has changed at all. The Beautiful People aren’t interesting as there’s no one to fight them because TNA can’t make new stars for this division. Where was Brittany either?

Knux is back at the carnival with I think his ex-girlfriend. He says he has to go back to Impact because it’s what he does best. She’ll be supportive of him for the first time, but says she’s going with him.

Abyss says he lost sight of the one person who cares about him and tonight is for him.

The Wolves want the Tag Team Titles. It’s a handicap match with Zema Ion joining the Bro Mans.

We run down the PPV card.

Magnus vs. Abyss

Eric Young comes out for commentary and if Abyss wins he gets a full time job. Abyss takes him into the corner to start and nails some clotheslines before launching the Brit to the floor. Back with Magnus working on the leg as Abyss is supposed to be a face after being all violent for so many weeks. The leg is wrapped around the post but Abyss grabs him by the throat…..and Magnus kicks him low for the DQ at 7:40.

Rating: D. Well that….happened. It’s angle advancement but much like the rest of this show, the angles aren’t all that interesting. This was supposed to be a big face turn for Abyss I think, but it really doesn’t work when he spent the last few weeks trying to torture the new top face.

Post match Magnus beats on him with a chair until Young comes down and gets beaten down as well.

An ad for the fallout show from Sacrifice eats up the last minute. Not an ad FOR THE PAY PER VIEW mind you, but an ad for the TV show you just watched.

Overall Rating: D. This was a really boring show. That’s the best word to describe it as almost nothing on here made me want to watch another show going forward. It’s a bunch of ideas we’ve seen before with a lot of the same characters and nothing that has been made better by changing around the faces. Sacrifices just does not need to be a PPV as TNA currently feels like a bunch of old ideas thrown into a blender and put on mix to see if it works better if you twist everything around. Shockingly enough, it’s not working.

Results
Kurt Angle b. Rockstar – Ankle lock
Bobby Lashley b. Kenny King via countout
MVP b. Austin Aries – Drive By
Bobby Roode/James Storm b. Gunner/Bully Ray – Last Call to Gunner
Beautiful People b. Madison Rayne/Gail Kim – Rollup to Rayne
Abyss b. Magnus via DQ when Magnus kicked Abyss low

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Impact Wrestling
Date: February 20, 2014
Location: Manchester Arena, Manchester, England
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

We’re still in Manchester and the big story is the announcement of Lethal Lockdown between Team MVP and Team Dixie for control of the company in two and a half weeks. Last week’s show saw a huge emphasis on the MVP vs. Dixie story with very little else getting extended TV time so hopefully things are given more room to breathe tonight. The main event is Gunner cashing in his Feast or Fired case on Magnus for a World Title shot. Let’s get to it.

We open with an In Memory graphic for Nelson Frazier Jr.

The opening recap shows us Gunner’s road to the world title shot tonight which has been his dream since he was a kid. All he’s wanted to be is a champion and tonight is his chance.

Dixie ensures Magnus that something is a done deal and tells him to go to the ring and break some bad news. Magnus says if Dixie goes down, he’s not going down with her. The champ also tells Ethan that they need to get along, personal feelings aside. Ethan shakes the champ’s hand and they all head to the ring.

Magnus calls MVP out to the ring to make an announcement, as long as the fans sit down and be quiet while he does it. The champ says he isn’t impressed by people who glorify criminal conduct or people like MVP who have spent nine years in jail. Magnus warns MVP to never think about getting in the ring with him, because nine years in jail will be nothing like nine minutes in the ring with the world champ. MVP goes on a rant about how Magnus is always calling himself the champion and a real champion shouldn’t have to do that.

Enough of that though as MVP cuts to the chase: is the Lethal Lockdown match on or not? Magnus accepts on Dixie’s behalf but he won’t be in the match at team captain. He has bigger fish to fry than dealing with some 50 Cena wannabe. If MVP tries to mess with Magnus, he’ll make MVP his…..MVP: “Don’t say it.” Magnus says it anyway and the fight is on. Cue Ethan for the double team and we see Spud telling security to hold the Wolves back. Gunner finally comes out for the save and the heels run, only to have the Wolves show up behind them. Magnus shoves Ethan to them and a kick to the ribs drops Carter.

We recap Bobby Roode helping Magnus over and over again for a promised title shot, only to have Dixie back out of the deal. Roode had to beat Joe last week to get the shot but lost, sending him over the edge. Bobby responds tonight.

Back from a break and Ethan shouts at Magnus that he literally just threw him to the Wolves. Magnus says that it was in the best interest of the Carters and Ethan is ticked.

Samoa Joe is in the ring and says he gets the winner of tonight’s title match at Lockdown. That leaves him without a match tonight and that’s not cool. He’s here in Manchester to get into a fight so any member of Dixieland that wants a fight, come get it. This brings out Zema and the BroMans who surround the ring. Joe asks which it’ll be before saying he’ll fight all three.

BroMans/Zema Ion vs. Samoa Joe

Joe cleans house to start and sidesteps Zema’s middle rope cross body. The tag champions break up the MuscleBuster and Jesse hits a nice dropkick. Robbie drops a middle rope elbow and Zema gets two off a middle rope moonsault. All three of them hit charges in the corner but Joe pulls the BroMans into the way of a Zema missile dropkick. A DDT/Russian legsweep combo takes the champions down to the floor and there’s the suicide elbow. Back inside and Zema charges into the corner Rock Bottom, setting up the MuscleBuster and Koquina Clutch for the win at 3:38.

Rating: C+. This was the right way to use a comedy tag team and their goofy manager. Thankfully the Bro Mans didn’t lose the fall here, even though they got beaten up pretty badly. It’s a good way to make Joe look strong heading into Lockdown and that’s the right idea given the odds he’s up against.

Christy Hemme gets a new battery pack from a production hand.  After she leaves, Samuel Shaw comes up and destroys the guy before taking Christy’s old pack.

Bobby Roode goes in to see James Storm and says James is one of the guys that he’s been able to trust in wrestling. Roode apologizes for everything he’s done to Storm over the years and calls the Beer Money times special. Storm isn’t sure what to think and asks if Roode has been in his beer. He thinks Roode is retiring and tries to talk him out of it, saying Roode needs to slap the business back in the face and move on to the next day. They hug and seem to be on good terms.

Austin Aries comes in to see MVP and is offered a spot on the team at Lockdown. MVP calls it the anchor spot but Aries says he puts things over the top instead of dragging them down. Aries asks what’s in it for him and MVP makes some vague promises. Austin says he’s heard that before and MVP just says things will be positive. That’s not enough for Aries but he says he’ll think about it.

Video on the Maximum Impact tour.

Madison Rayne and I believe Gail Kim get in a fight in the back. The camera looked to be a regular handheld one instead of a professional one.

Gail Kim vs. Madison Rayne

This is a street fight and the title is not on the line. Madison comes out first and jumps Gail with a cookie sheet. Gail comes back with some choking with a kendo stick but misses a charge into the corner. Madison kicks her to the floor but Tapa dares her to come outside. The champ is happy to oblige and catches Tapa in a guillotine choke, kicking Gail in the process.

Tapa stays on her feet and drives Madison spine first into the apron. Gail puts on the Figure Four around the post but can’t hold onto it that long. Madison comes back with a shot to the face and a clothesline to the ribs which is called a spear. Tapa comes in but takes a cookie sheet to the ribs. The distraction lets Gail hit Madison with the belt for the pin at 4:40.

Rating: C. This was a nice fight but it needed a bit more time. Tapa continues to be a waste of a spot as there’s nothing to her other than she’s big and screams a lot. It doesn’t help that Gail, while very talented, has done almost everything she can do in TNA and there’s not much interesting she can do.

Anderson shows Christy pictures of his kids and Shaw isn’t cool with it.

Another Gunner video on wanting to be a wrestler since he was a kid and becoming a Marine. We hear from his family who are so proud of him. Well done video.

Kurt Angle will be inducted into the Hall of Fame next week.

Ethan says he can’t take anything away from Angle’s career and he’ll let Kurt announce his news next week. He won’t say what that news is but retirement seemed to be implied.

James Storm tells Gunner that this is his time. Gunner says he’s wanted this his whole life and gives Storm the Tag Title Feast or Fired case.

Here’s an emotional looking Roode for his announcement. He says he’s been proud to call Impact Wrestling his home for the last eleven years. As kids, a lot of us have a dream we want to achieve and he’s gotten to do that for seventeen years. Roode isn’t proud of a lot of the things he’s done in the past but he can’t change those things. The only thing he can change is the future and that’s why he’s here tonight. Tonight is his last night as a pro wrestler but the fans say NO.

For the last several months he’s looked in the mirror and only seen hate. He’s had to put up with Dixie’s nonsense for months now and he has to walk away. He thanks the fans but here’s Dixie to stop him from leaving. Roode doesn’t get to make that call because he still has a TNA contract. Dixie brings up Jeff Hardy, AJ Styles and Sting as people that just caused her problems.

She needs him but Roode says he doesn’t want more lies. Dixie apologizes but Bobby says it’s not his problem and he doesn’t want to be here anymore. She offers him the captain’s spot on her team at Lockdown, offering him 10% of TNA if he wins. He can even have his own lawyers draw up the contract. Bobby reluctantly agrees but threatens Dixie’s future if she screws him over.

A German wrestler named Bad Bones won the international Gut Check challenge. He says something in German but we see Shaw jumping Anderson and taking Christy away.

After a break Bad Influence offers their services for Lethal Lockdown but Roode tells them to prove it tonight. Bad Influence isn’t pleased.

Wolves vs. Bad Influence

Edwards and Kaz get us going and they hit the match for a nice technical sequence into a standoff. Daniels comes in with a cheap shot to Eddie but Edwards brings in Richards for a double Japanese armdrag. Kaz gets kicked in the head but Daniels sends Richards to the floor. Kaz drives him back first into the apron and sends him back inside for a two count off a clothesline.

A spinwheel kick gets two more on Davey but he sends Bad Influence into each other and makes the tag off to Edwards. An over the shoulder Stunner gets two on Daniels before Eddie throws Daniels into the air for a kick from Davey. A pair of top rope double stomps from the Wolves is enough for the pin on Daniels at 6:10.

Rating: C+. I like the Wolves far better as a tag team instead of singles guys fighting over Dan Severn. The match was good for the amount of time it had and I’d like to see the long form version between these teams. Edwards still comes off as the better of the two and I’d see him as having a better future as a singles guy

Shaw takes Christy to a room where she wakes up. He tells her everything is ok and chases off a cameraman.

Willow is coming.

Video on Magnus wanting to be a wrestler.

Roode vs. MVP next week.

TNA World Title: Magnus vs. Gunner

This is no countout and No DQ. After the Big Match Intros, Magnus bails to the floor before any contact is made. Back in and Gunner works on a wristlock but gets reversed into a headlock. The hold stays on for about two and a half minutes before Gunner comes back with a back elbow and a clothesline. Magnus comes right back with a knee to the back to send Gunner outside. The champ calls for help from the back but gets the Wolves and Storm instead as we take a break.

Back with Magnus putting on a camel clutch as Tenay tells us this is No DQ and No countout, which I don’t remember being announced at first. Gunner fights up so Magnus changes to a sleeper, only to get caught in a belly to back suplex. It’s Magnus up first and the top rope elbow gets two. Magnus goes to the floor and gets the title belt but Gunner lifts him into a fireman’s carry. The champ escapes and both guys try cross bodies to give us another stalemate.

Ethan and the Bro Mans come in but the Wolves and Storm immediately come in to counter and they fight to the back. Gunner powerbombs Magnus down and hits a top rope headbutt to the ribs. Spud runs out and puts Magnus’ foot on the ropes and Gunner is TICKED. He goes after the Rockstar but gets blasted in the head with the title for a close two. Storm comes back out as Gunner starts Hulking Up. A Rock Bottom lays out Magnus and Gunner goes up again, only to have Storm superkick him out of the air, giving Magnus the pin at 16:38.

Rating: C+. This was a good match but the constant interference needs to calm down for a bit. I do like Storm turning as it means we don’t have to deal with him being the guy who used to be world champion a few years ago for two weeks. The match was going for an epic showdown but that doesn’t really work when we’ve been told about Gunner’s backstory over the span of two hours instead of say two months. Still though, good stuff and an actual match instead of the insanity with Sting and AJ’s shots at Magnus.

Overall Rating: B-. SO much better than last week. First and foremost, they kept Dixie to just a few segments tonight instead of about 87 last week. The Shaw vs. Anderson stuff helped as well as it sets up stuff for the future and gave us something intriguing tonight. They also started setting the stage for Lockdown which is getting closer and closer. The show wasn’t great but it was such a jump up over last week that it was far easier to sit through.

Results

Samoa Joe b. Bro Mans/Zema Ion – Koquina Clutch to Ion

Gail Kim b. Madison Rayne – Kim hit Rayne with the title belt

Wolves b. Bad Influence – Top rope double stomp to Daniels

Magnus b. Gunner – Pin after a Last Call from James Storm

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Impact Wrestling
Date: February 13, 2014
Location: Manchester Arena, Manchester, England
Commentators: Taz, Mike Tenay

The UK tour continues as we head into England for the first time this year. The main stories coming out of last week are Samoa Joe officially being #1 contender over Bobby Roode and an MVP vs. Dixie summit that went absolutely nowhere. Lockdown is less than a month away so odds are we’ll be hearing about Lethal Lockdown and the rest of the card soon enough. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of MVP standing up to Dixie for all of her evil deeds in the last few months and promising changes to end Dixie’s party.

No time is wasted on getting to Dixie this week as she and her cronies are in the ring to start the show. Dixie says she clearly hasn’t lost a wink of sleep over MVP’s threats and the odds of him taking over the company are about as good as her having a bad hair day. Dixie brags about Magnus but Ethan takes the mic and says he’s the one that ended the career of Kurt Angle.

Magnus takes the mic as well but has to wait for a YOU SOLD OUT chant. It’s nice to be back in Manchester because it means another year before he has to be back here again. People like Manchester make him feel ashamed to be British because he’s not from the north, nor is he a paper champion. He’s a man who recognizes opportunity and there is no opportunity in Manchester, other than a chance to be smacked in the face by the world champion.

The fans aren’t impressed so Magnus shifts his focus to MVP. He doesn’t care what jail cell MVP came from but we need to get the pecking order established. It’s Magnus on top, Dixie second, everybody else, and then MVP. Magnus isn’t for sale but here are MVP and Joe with something of their own to say. MVP sucks up to the crowd and says that Joe will be challenging Magnus at Lockdown, which seems to take the champion by surprise.

This brings out Gunner with the Feast or Fired case, which will be cashed in next week on Impact. Dixie says not so fast, because Gunner has to face Ethan Carter for the briefcase tonight. MVP one ups her by putting EC3’s Tag Team Title briefcase on the line as well, but makes it a ladder match with both briefcases on the line. MVP tells “C-3PO” that if anyone tries to cheat in this match, he’ll be out here to level the playing field.

Gunner vs. Ethan Carter III

Dang they’re not wasting time tonight. Carter heads straight to the floor to start but Gunner is waiting for him and heads back inside for a running knee and a fallaway slam. Gunner goes to get a ladder but Carter dropkicks him off the apron and sets up the ladder himself, only to have Gunner send him into the buckle.

The ladder is sat in the corner and Carter is sent flying into the steel, only to have Gunner get the same treatment. He’s still able to powerbomb Carter down for the save but Magnus comes in and shoves the ladder over, only to draw in James Storm for the save. This brings out MVP who makes it a winner take all tag team ladder match at about 4:30.

Rating: D. This is one of the things I can’t stand about modern wrestling: wasted gimmick matches. Why in the world did they need to have a ladder match, only to throw in another one a few seconds later? On top of that, a gimmick match is supposed to attract viewers, but that usually requires more than five minutes’ warning. How good of a ladder match can you have with about four minutes of action?

James Storm/Gunner vs. Ethan Carter III/Magnus

Joined in progress with Storm in trouble and Magnus driving the ladder into Gunner’s back. Gunner is laid across the ladder and splashed across the back before both heels drop him ribs first onto the ladder. Magnus rams the ladder into Gunner’s face and loads up the ladder but Ethan tries to climb. That’s not cool with the champ who wants to go instead. They get in an argument, despite it not being clear who gets the case if Magnus pulls it down.

The fight lets Storm come back in and clean house and Ethan is double hiptossed onto the ladder. Magnus saves his partner from the Gun Rack but Storm hits a Cactus Clothesline to send himself and Magnus to the outside. Gunner comes back in with a swan dive to Carter and goes up to pull down both cases for the win at 5:00.

Rating: C-. Better match here but man alive enough with the five minute gimmick matches. We just saw two ladder matches combine to last under ten minutes and it doesn’t really solve anything. In short, there was no reason for these matches to use ladders other than it sounds cool on paper. Pay no attention to the fact that if you weren’t watching in the last twenty minutes, you would have no idea they were taking place.

Anderson says he’ll win tonight because he has family and we get to see a picture of his twin daughters.

Spud has divided the office in half and makes sure that Dixie has more flowers on her side. The Bro Mans come in and want to know what Dixie is going to do about Gunner and Storm having the briefcase. Yelling ensues when MVP comes in and says Dixie’s promises mean less and less every day. MVP says people don’t want to see lawyers and want to see action in the ring. What would be fair is to strip the champions of the titles but instead he’ll give them a six man tag match against the Wolves and a mystery partner, right now.

Bro Mans/Zema Ion vs. Wolves/???

The mystery partner is Samoa Joe. Davey starts with a Tajiri handspring into a kick to Godderz’ head before a few headbutts from his parters are good for two. Off to Edwards vs. Robbie with Eddie snapping off a standing hurricanrana and a few chops. A running knee to the face gets two and it’s quickly back to Davey who gets two off a chop from Edwards. Zema adds in a knee from the apron but Davey grabs him by the head and knocks him to the apron.

The distraction lets E get in a cheap shot and the heels take over for the first time. Zema stomps away before it’s back to Robbie for an elbow to the jaw. Heel miscommunication puts the Bro Mans down and it’s hot tag to Joe who cleans house. Everything breaks down and the Wolves hit stereo suicide dives to the floor as Joe makes Zema tap with the Clutch at 5:37.

Rating: C. This was fine though I’ve never been big on the Wolves. I was hoping the Bro Mans would be allowed to be a bit more serious, but at the end of the day they’re a comedy team so this is what you had to expect. I’d be fine with the Wolves becoming Tag Team Champions but it was nice to have a non-champion take the fall here.

Velvet Sky begs Dixie to avoid a match with Chris Sabin but gets turned down. MVP isn’t cool with that but Dixie reminds him that he’s not a wrestler. Spud laughs at him, but MVP says he’s got his gear and faces Spud next.

We recap Eric Young vs. Joseph Park/Abyss. This would be the first non-Dixie related segment of the entire show and we’re halfway done.

Here’s Abyss without the mask to call out Eric Young to see what he’s done. Abyss is under a hood like Kane was after he lost his mask back in 2003. Eric stops at ringside but Abyss asks him to come closer unless he’s afraid. Young gets in the ring and says last week he proved all he needed to prove. Park asked him to find Abyss and that’s what he did. Abyss holds up the mask and says it’s the reality of what he did last week. The hood comes back and Park says he is Abyss but Young cuts him off and says he showed Park who he is.

Park shouts at Eric and asks who either of them are because Young doesn’t know. Abyss has destroyed his body and the lives and careers of others. The scars and blood tell his story but he can’t be that man anymore. The violence and destruction have to stop but Young says he can help him. Abyss screams that he doesn’t want Eric’s help and that he needs to find someone who understands him. He drops the mask and walks away.

Earlier today Samuel Shaw tried to help Christy with her luggage but she’s nervous. He agrees to keep it professional and takes off his glove to shake her hand. Shaw looks at his hand and slowly gets on the bus.

MVP vs. Spud

That was a nice fifteen minute break but now it’s back to Dixieland. Spud stalls on the floor before the bell while MVP lounges on the top rope. MVP goes after him but Spud gets in a cheap shot on the way back in to get things going. He pounds away but makes the mistake of slapping the boss in the face. A facebuster sets up the Ballin Elbow and the Drive By kick to the head for the pin at :59. That’s exactly what it should have been.

Bobby Roode is furiously looking for Dixie.

We get a creepy promo of a guy in the woods holding a black and white umbrella, wearing a black and white mask and dressed all in black. He recites poetry and is apparently named Willow. Apparently this was Jeff Hardy in a new gimmick.

Dixie is on the phone when Roode comes in, demanding a title shot. He doesn’t like being called a sore loser and says she doesn’t want him against her.

Chris Sabin vs. Velvet Sky

Sabin offers her a free shot because this is what Velvet has always wanted. Velvet kicks him in the knee and goes for the groin but Sabin is wearing a cup. Like an idiot though he takes it out to show off and gets hit low again, allowing Velvet to pound away. Cue a big woman with a bleach blonde mohawk over dark hair to destroy Velvet with a full nelson. Sabin is very pleased. No match obviously.

Ray goes into Anderson’s dressing room and looks through his stuff, including the pictures on his phone. He calls Anderson’s wife and says this is the phone call she’s been dreading her entire life. Ray says “no, not yet, but he’s coming home in a coffin. Tell the twins daddy says goodbye.”

Roode is in the back and says he lost it and that this has to come to an end. It’s over and he can’t take this anymore. He has his jacket and bag with him, saying he might have something for next week. Security comes in and says he has to leave which Roode does without incident.

We recap Ray vs. Anderson in the casket match. Ray is angry at Anderson for ending Aces and 8’s and has gotten far more serious as a result, even threatening Anderson’s children.

Bully Ray vs. Mr. Anderson

Casket match. Anderson has some of the ugliest green tights I’ve ever seen. Ray takes off his shirt and reveals what I believe is a Liverpool jersey to anger the fans. Anderson takes him down and sends him into the corner before dropping him with a neckbreaker. The jersey is ripped off and stomped on by Anderson before they head outside. Mr. spends too much time deciding where to throw his shirt and Ray gets in a cheap shot as we take a break.

Back with Anderson using a chair to knock a chair into Ray’s face and sliding in a table. Anderson is bleeding from the mouth and Ray kicks him in the face to take over. Ray rubs the blood on his own face and pounds at the cut before throwing the casket into the ring. Anderson gets crotched on top and superplexed back down but Ray can’t get the lid on the casket.

Ray raises up a chair to crush Anderson but a low blow stops him cold. Instead he powerbombs Anderson through the table and earns a THIS IS AWESOME chant. Ray loads up a piledriver in the casket but Anderson counters into a Mic Check and puts on the lid for the win at 12:50. The lid didn’t actually close but it was close enough.

Rating: B-. That’s probably high but after all the garbage we’ve had to sit through tonight I’ll take anything. Ray has been an awesome heel throughout this story and I would have liked it more if he had won, but the company is dying for top faces at this point and Anderson is as good as anyone else they could use.

In the back we get even more Dixie vs. MVP with Carter offering him a buyout. She offers him a contract and MVP is impressed but says no. Dixie calls him crazy and MVP says he’s a wrestler so there might be somet truth to that. A proposal is made for Lockdown: Lethal Lockdown with Team MVP vs. Team Dixie for total control of the company. Dixie keeps up her Stephanie McMahon style acting and finally agrees.

Overall Rating: D. Impact wrestling is a two hour show. Tonight, approximately an hour and a half were spent on Dixie Carter vs. MVP or something directly related to that story. Here’s what wasn’t related to it: Eric Young/Abyss segment (8 minutes), Christy Hemme/Shaw segment (2 minutes), Ray vs. Anderson (13 minutes), Sabin vs. Sky (5 minutes) and the Willow promo (1 minute). That’s it. That’s everything on the show that wasn’t related to a single storyline.

Even Immortal didn’t make Impact that much about themselves and I didn’t think things could get worse than that. Dixie vs. MVP is fine for a story, but you need SOMETHING that isn’t related to or a result of that story. There’s some interesting stuff in TNA, but the same story being pounded into our heads like this make it a lot less interesting to sit through.

Results

Ethan Carter III vs. Gunner went to a no contest

James Storm/Gunner b. Ethan Carter III/Magnus – Gunner pulled down the briefcases

Wolves/Samoa Joe b. Zema Ion/Bro Mans – Koquina Clutch to Ion

MVP b. Spud – Drive By

Mr. Anderson b. Bully Ray – Mic Check into a casket

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Impact Wrestling
Date: January 2, 2014
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

The main story tonight is the coronation of Magnus as the new world champion, which screams AJ Styles return. It’s clear that they’re setting up a unification match in the near future which should be interesting, even if the result has been spoiled by the latest news with Styles. Other than that we could see more of whatever Bully Ray was talking about last week when he promised to be more evil than ever. Let’s get to it.

Aries vs. Sabin for the X Title tonight.

Here’s Angle to open things up. He talks about 2013 being the worst year of his career which is why he declined the Hall of Fame induction. Angle promises to make up for it in 2014 but here’s Bobby Roode to interrupt. Bobby thinks Angle is going to announce his retirement because he knows he can’t beat Bobby Roode. If that’s the case, Roode wants Angle to admit that Roode is the better man face to face.

Kurt says he’s here to make it clear that he’ll dominate 2014. That’s why he wants one more match with Bobby, which sends Roode into fits of shouting WHAT. He turns Angle down because he has nothing left to prove to either Angle or the fans. Roode finally agrees to the match at Genesis, but if Angle loses, he can never go into the Hall of Fame. Angle agrees as long as the match can be in a steel cage. Roode shouts a lot more and says it’s on. They brawl again until referees and Spud come out to break it up. Spud gets shoved down so he says both guys can find a partner for a tag match tonight.

Dixie says she’s spent eleven years trying to find the perfect champion and she’ll find it tonight. She walks through a door and is given a note saying See You Tonight.

After a break, Spud is tasked with finding out who sent the note.

Gail Kim vs. Madison Rayne

This is part of the Open Challenge. Madison poses on the middle rope but dives off with a cross body to get us going. Gail gets stomped down in the corner but comes back with some mounted right hands. Madison armdrags her down but Tapa pulls Rayne out to the floor. Back in and Gail puts on a surfboard with a dragon sleeper to bend Madison in some very impressive directions.

Gail lets go of the hold and it’s a double clothesline to put both girls down. Eat Defeat is countered into a backslide for two before Madison goes to the middle rope, only to be slammed face first into the mat. Another Eat Defeat attempt is countered into a side roll by Madison for the pin at 5:08.

Rating: C-. The match was fine from a technical standpoint but there’s no emotion or interest in this division anymore. It’s just insert challenger here facing off with whoever the champion is that month with no significant story at all. Madison is a nice breath of air but it’s nothing that’s going to make things better long term.

Chris Sabin shushes Velvet Sky and threatens to leave her if she doesn’t do what he says tonight.

Angle gets Gunner to be his partner tonight when Storm comes up to say that’s interesting.

X-Division title: Chris Sabin vs. Austin Aries

Aries is defending. Sabin hides in the corner to start until Aries takes over with a running dropkick. The Last Chancery has Sabin in early trouble but Aries lets go of the hold. Chris goes to the floor to yell at Velvet who says it’s not her match. Back in and Aries gets two off an elbow before busting out a stump puller of all things. A slingshot splash and Lionsault get two each for Aries but Sabin comes back with a belly to back suplex.

Aries gets caught in the Tree of Woe but does a situp to grab Sabin by the face and pull him down with a Diamond Cutter. Nice counter. Sabin bails to the floor and gets taken down with a double ax handle. Back in and Sabin tells Velvet to get on the apron as a distraction, allowing Chris to low blow Aries and grab a small package for the pin and the title at 5:45.

Rating: C+. This was fun while it lasted but it makes Aries’ title reign seem completely worthless. TNA is usually better about not changing titles back and forth at the drop of a hat so hopefully this doesn’t become a trend. I could however go for more of Velvet Sky in tight blue dresses.

Spud keeps looking for information about the note when he gets a call. No one is on the phone and Spud says he’s gotten four calls from that number. It’s a 678 area code, which Google says is the area code for Gainesville, Georgia.

Samuel Shaw vs. Norv Fernum

Shaw is in dress pants and a long sleeve shirt with black gloves. He escorts Christy to the floor and looks almost bored. A powerslam and Orton backbreaker have Fernum in trouble and a standing choke (imagine the start of a Rock Bottom but Shaw clasps his hands and chokes) gets the win for Shaw at 1:38.

James storm is going to show Angle why he made a mistake in picking Gunner. He opens a door and sees someone he’s been looking for.

Post break and of course Storm was talking to Roode. Storm says he hates Roode but needs to be his partner tonight to send a message. Roode says that’s not his problem and he doesn’t need Storm, just like always. Storm says he’ll be out there tonight one way or another.

Video on Magnus getting to the title.

James Storm/Bobby Roode vs. Gunner/Kurt Angle

Storm and Angle get things going with Kurt elbowing James in the face. Off to Roode vs. Gunner with Gunner going face first into the buckle. That seems to just make Gunner mad as he comes back with a slingshot suplex for two on Roode. Bobby comes back with a spinebuster but Storm tags himself in for some two counts and right hands to the head.

Beer Money hits the double suplex for a flashback as the old team starts getting their game together. Kurt has enough of standing on the apron and comes in to clean house with rolling Germans on Roode. There’s an overhead belly to belly on Storm followed by the ankle lock until Roode makes the save. Gunner picks Roode up in the Gun Rack but Storm Last Calls Gunner, allowing Roode to hit the Death Valley Driver for the pin at 6:40.

Rating: C+. Beer Money continues to have chemistry but I’m hoping this is a one off thing. Storm has been ready for a singles run for years now but they keep putting him into tag teams because that’s what he’s done before. The Gunner team was a step back for him and Beer Money would be an even bigger one. Both singles matches should rock though.

Spud accuses Sting of sending the note but Sting blows him off.

Here’s EC3 to brag about getting rid of Jeff Hardy. Even though Jeff is gone to write songs about the Creatures, EC3 tells Christy to introduce Jeff for a match. Naturally there’s no Jeff so Carter “wins” by forfeit. Carter counts to ten (“One, two, EC3”) but here’s Sting to interrupt. Sting calls Carter a dog who can’t do anything without his Aunt Dixie there to save him. Carter is just Dixie’s lap dog but Sting wants him to get off the leash and prove he’s a man. Ethan bails so Sting calls him a lap dog again. The fans agree with Sting’s nickname so Carter agrees to fight Sting at Genesis.

Joseph Park doesn’t remember turning into Abyss so it can’t be real. Eric Young has put him in a match with Bully Ray because Abyss wrestled Ray two years ago this week. Eric leaves and Ray comes up to say Park will be all alone tonight, just like Ray is now. Ray threatens to set Park on fire.

Joseph Park vs. Bully Ray

Ray stands in the corner in a hoodie, jeans and sunglasses. He looks up at Park and kicks him low for the DQ at 57 seconds. That was the only move of the match.

Post match Ray pulls out a bottle of lighter fluid and covers Park before pulling out a lighter. Mr. Anderson runs out for the save but Ray sprays him with fluid as well. There’s the lighter again but Ray turns it off and walks away.

It’s time for the coronation with Spud and Ethan in the ring in front of a throne, ferns and the Union Jack. Spud calls this bigger than the royal wedding and says Dixieland is a place where dreams come true. Ethan, the Master of Ceremonies, brags about how awesome he is and talks about how Magnus rules the world. He finally brings out Dixie who is booed out of the building. She talks about being on a plane to England and seeing a magazine article on AJ Styles. Then she saw a piece on Magnus who was a huge star in the United Kingdom and was all that (her words).

Here’s the champion in a nice suit with the title over his shoulder. Magnus: “This is your champion speaking. Please return your women to their full and upright positions.” Before Magnus goes anywhere he has to thank Dixie for everything she’s done for him over the years. Magnus knows that the fans expected Roode, Angle or even Hardy here but he proved everyone wrong. It wasn’t him that turned his back on the fans but rather the fans who turned on him. He’ll be world champion for a VERY long time but here’s Gunner with the briefcase as we go to our last break.

Back with Gunner saying he’s cashing in right now. Dixie says this isn’t happening but Gunner cleans house anyway. Magnus is the only one left standing but Spud gets in a cheap shot to take him down. Magnus loads up a belt shot but AJ Styles runs in through the crowd for the showdown. They hold up their belts and AJ lays his on the mat like a line in the sand. Magnus bails with Dixie and AJ says come get your intellectual property.

AJ isn’t here because Dixie wants him here but rather because Dixie screwed the people. He needed to come back here because Magnus is a farce. Magnus will never be a world champion until he beats THE world champion. If Magnus wants to be what he says he is, he’ll have to accept the challenge. The fans chant YOU’RE A PUPPET, taking away a lot of the intensity they’re going for here.

If Magnus doesn’t accept, he’ll always doubt himself as the champion. However, if AJ walks out those doors again, his offer goes with him. Magnus agrees to fight next week (instead of at Genesis for some reason) and tells Dixie if he doesn’t fight, he’s leaving too. Dixie says over her dead body but Magnus says give AJ a one night only contract. They shake hands and the match is official.

Overall Rating: B-. This wasn’t a perfect show tonight but they did a good job with what they had. The Bully Ray stuff has me intrigued and the AJ return can get them on to something new. Tonight was about the storytelling instead of the matches and there’s nothing wrong with that. We’re headed towards Genesis which has a stacked card that should be one of their better PPV shows in awhile. Good effort tonight, though I have very little faith that they can keep it up.

Results

Madison Rayne b. Gail Kim – Side roll

Chris Sabin b. Austin Aries – Small package

James Storm/Bobby Roode b. Kurt Angle/Gunner – Last Call to Gunner

Joseph Park b. Bully Ray via DQ when Ray kicked Park low

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Impact Wrestling
Date: December 26, 2013
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz

We close out the year tonight with the fallout from last week’s Final Resolution which saw Magnus (in theory) join up with Dixie as the new corporate champion. This should mean the imminent return of AJ Styles and the unification match for the two titles. It should also be interesting to see if TNA starts having more matches during the show or sticks with around three plus a lot of talking. Let’s get to it.

After the usual recap of last week’s events, here’s Spud in the ring to get things going. He gives a very elaborate introduction for someone very important to all of us: Dixie Carter. She talks about how great the last seven days have been and talks about how Santa didn’t deliver the title to Jeff Hardy like the fans wanted him to. That doesn’t matter though because the right man wanted. The fans sound like they want AJ.

Dixie has a major announcement that she’s been hyping up all week on social media but Jeff Hardy cuts her off. Jeff has some complaints to make but Dixie cuts him off. The fans aren’t interested in what Jeff has to say so he threatens Spud for what he did to Jeff last week. Spud goes all pompous Brit on Jeff and orders him out of the ring. Spud is sent into the corner but EC3 runs out to jump Hardy, knocking him to the floor. Dixie loads up the announcement but here’s Sting to interrupt as well.

Carter and Spud roll to the floor like proper cowardly heels should and Sting grabs the mic. He’s tired of entitled pipsqueaks getting everything they want, so Sting isn’t leaving until both he and the fans get what they want: Sting beating the tar out of Ethan Carter. The Icon wants Carter/Spud vs. Sting/Hardy but Dixie says no way. Dixie says she’ll give Sting a tag match but doesn’t say who is in it. Her music comes on but she wants to make her announcement. The music keeps going as we take a break.

Back with Dixie trying to make the announcement again but this time Gunner interrupts. Gunner wants his title shot right now but Dixie turns him down because Magnus is in England. Gunner grabs the mic from Dixie and says to let Magnus know that the cash-in is coming sooner rather than later. Dixie tries for I think the fourth time to make the announcement but here’s James Storm to interrupt this time. James thinks Gunner owes him something but Gunner disagrees.

Storm talks about Gunner costing him the match against Bobby Roode when Storm asked him to. Gunner says he did it for Storm’s own good because Storm was in a bar fight the night before. Storm says that may be true but he wants to know who told Roode about the bar fight. James thinks Gunner is the stooge and wants a match for that case tonight. Dixie says ok because Gunner interrupted her. She’s not ready for the announcement though so everyone has to wait for later.

Gunner vs. James Storm

For the Feast or Fired case. They shove each other to start until Gunner sends Storm into the corner but walks into a headlock takeover. Gunner shoves him into the corner again but Storm hits a quick enziguri from the apron. A running forearm gets two on Gunner and a facebuster gets the same. Gunner gets in a knee lift to the ribs and puts on a quickly broken chinlock as the announcers talk about the announcement. Storm comes back with a tackle/spear to send both guys out to the floor…..for a VERY fast double countout at 4:58.

Rating: D. This was all about extending the feud which is the right idea. I’d assume we’re headed for a gimmick match at Genesis to blow this off so the ending makes sense. That doesn’t mean it was executed well at all though as the ten count took maybe five seconds and we didn’t see any of the count until the end.

They fight to the back as referees fail to pull them apart.

Brooke is annoyed at Bully Ray for annoying her since he doesn’t seem to want her anymore. That’s fine with her as she’ll just go air all his dirty secrets in the ring. Bully says her name but that’s it.

Magnus talks about all the bad characters he’s been given over the years which counts as paying dues. He talks about being called the future, meaning he’s not ready yet “because some people weren’t ready to hang it up yet, BROTHER”. This felt like part of a shoot interview.

Here’s Brooke to demand answers from Bully. She understands that he’s mad at her for throwing the hammer, but she’s not accepting full blame for everything. Here’s Ray in a hoodie and sunglasses as Brooke insists that this can be fixed. It’s neither of their faults that Aces and 8’s ended but Ray turns his back on her. Brooke yells at him for not respecting her and reminds him that Ray said throw the hammer. Ray was supposed to be her ticket to the big time but now he’s that weird high school kid that has no friends.

Brooke says she’s no one’s property and that she’s done but Ray grabs her arm. Ray says she’s done when he’s done with her but he doesn’t blame her for anything. After all, she’s not the smartest girl in the world but she was there for certain uses. She wasn’t even that good at those things thought and sometimes he would close his eyes and think of Brooke #1.

He could piledrive her right now but instead he’s going to use her to spread his word. She knows how evil he can be, so she can let everyone know what’s in store for them. Ray takes off the glasses and says it’s going to be a lot worse as ominous music plays. He’s done with her.

Joseph Park is scared to have a Monster’s Ball match.

Magnus thinks being in the Main Event Mafia was the way the Mafia kept him on a leash.

Ethan tries to get out of the tag match but Dixie says she has them covered.

We recap Park’s revelation that he’s Abyss.

Park is scared but Young says believe in himself. Eric says hit the music and it’s the old Abyss song. He gives Park Janice to make him feel better.

Joseph Park vs. Bad Influence

Monster’s Ball, meaning anything goes with weapons at ringside. Park has Janice while the team grabs a kendo stick and crutch. Bad Influence surrounds Park but he swings Janice…and drops it, allowing the heels to score with shots to the ribs and back. Park gets taken down and Kaz hits a backsplash before more weapons are thrown inside. Kaz throws in a trash can which hits Park in the head but there’s no blood yet. Daniels stomps on Park in the corner and chokes him with a cord.

Kaz loads up a chair shot but Daniels stops him to prevent blood. Park comes back with his usual basic offense and picks up a kendo stick. Kaz gets in a cheap shot with a trashcan lid though and Bad Influence takes over again. They head outside and send Park into the steps but have to stop and check for blood again. Back inside and Park backdrops Daniels over the top before splashing a trashcan lid into Kaz.

There’s a Boston crab on Kaz’s damaged ribs but Daniels comes back in with a crutch to break the hold. Eric Young finally comes out for some moral support but Park says he needs help. Young loads up some right hands to Park’s head but Bad Influence makes the save. Kaz tries a kendo stick shot but Park shoves him out of the way to take the shot to the forehead. We’ve got blood, kendo stick shots, Shock Treatment to Kaz, Black Hole Slam to Daniels for the pin at 10:24.

Rating: D. WAY too long for the end result. This is the same idea they’ve been using for months now and the fact that it’s taking Eric Young to get us there makes it all the more annoying. The stuff with not letting Park get hit in the head was smart so the match wasn’t a total loss. Just too long.

Jeff Hardy is on the phone with his wife. He’s had a plan for a few weeks and it goes down tonight.

Magnus talks about the BFG Series being proof he could hang with anyone. The loss to AJ was what changed him because he never wants to feel that again. The win over Sting at BFG was the biggest win of his career.

ODB vs. Lei’D Tapa

Before the match Gail tells Madison to stay out of her business. ODB can’t slam her so she chops at Tapa instead. Tapa sends ODB into the corner and slowly pounds away before kicking ODB in the face. ODB avoids a middle rope seated senton (which would have missed if she hadn’t moved) but still can’t drop Tapa with shoulder blocks. Gail throws the title belt into the ring and pulls ODB’s hair to distract her, allowing Tapa to hit the TKO for the pin at 4:16.

Rating: D. They treated this as the female version of the Colossal Jostle but even that match looked great by comparison. I have no idea who TNA thinks cares about either of these girls but the fans here didn’t seem interested in them at all. Madison at least has some appeal to her while ODB is just loud and unpleasant.

Gail says that was a lesson for Madison.

Sabin and Velvet have a nice moment in the back. Chris has an X Title match next week and he blames Velvet for losing the title in the first place. She doesn’t think she can help him so he says he’ll find a girl that can.

Magnus talks about having Dixie in his corner and how their partnership will last for years.

Ethan Carter III/Rockstar Spud vs. Sting/Jeff Hardy

Before the match Dixie makes her announcement: next week there’s a coronation. Oh and this will be a tag match, but it’s a tag team handicap match.

Ethan Carter III/Rockstar Spud/Bro Mans vs. Sting/Jeff Hardy

Carter and Spud want nothing to do with Sting so they both tag out with Jesse eventually getting the start. Sting hiptosses him down but Zema Ion grabs Sting’s leg to get an advantage. Carter comes in but Sting gets up so it’s off to Robbie before any contact is made. Jeff comes in with a middle rope splash for two and a backdrop to send Robbie out to the floor. Carter accidentally tackles Godderz to the floor, setting up a dive (with Sting as a springboard) to take out all four heels at once.

The four of them pull Jeff down and stomp away for their first advantage as we take a break. Back with Godderz getting two off a knee to the ribs. A powerslam gets the same and it’s back to Robbie who gets two off a clothesline. Jesse comes back in for a half crab and Sting is suckered in, allowing a four man beatdown on Hardy. Carter mocks Sting with a Stinger Splash but Jeff comes back with a jawbreaker. Sting comes in and cleans house, even with Spud on his back in an impressive feat. Sting keeps beating everyone up but Carter grabs a rollup for the clean pin at 13:30. Taz said he had tights but I didn’t see them.

Rating: D+. This was another dull match in a string of them tonight. It’s not like Sting and Hardy got screwed over, or at least it didn’t come off like they did. The match made the tag champions look like jobbers which is a step backward for them after how much better they’ve looked lately. Boring match here and I don’t know what it accomplished.

Post match Hardy gets on the mic and thanks Sting for getting him into the business. Last week he was the better man but lost because of the politics. The fans chant for Hardy but he says the fight’s all gone. This was his last match in TNA and he’s leaving until the sun shines on this dark kingdom. Hardy says he loves the Creatures, takes off his shirt, and leaves.

Overall Rating: D. Well they’re back to boring already. Save for the decent promo work from Magnus, there was nothing to see here. We’re still just waiting for AJ to come back which will probably be at the coronation next week. That doesn’t make this week any better though as we had four dull or short matches which makes for a LONG two hour show.

Results

James Storm vs. Gunner went to a double countout

Joseph Park b. Bad Influence – Black Hole Slam to Daniels

Lei’D Tapa b. ODB – TKO

Bro Mans/Rockstar Spud/Ethan Carter III b. Sting/Jeff Hardy – Rollup to Sting

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Impact Wrestling
Date: November 21, 2013
Location: Impact zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz

Usually I start each NXT review by saying Welcome Home but it’s more appropriate in this case. Tonight is the Turning Point special as we return to the Impact Zone in Orlando. The focus tonight is on the tournament with two tournament matches, but we also get Bully Ray vs. Anderson, with the future of aces and 8’s on the line. Let’s get to it.

We open with an Impact365 video of Roode attacking Storm at a bar last night.

We get an opening video recapping both the tournament matches as well as Anderson vs. Ray.

Dixie comes up to Joe in the back and says she’s been watching last week’s show and threatens to fire Joe if he ever takes the same tone that he did last week.

Here’s Dixie to open the show. She plugs an article about her in Sports Illustrated before talking about the disdain she feels for AJ Styles. He’s taken her intellectual property and misrepresented it around the world. There are lawyers around the world ready to shut him down but here’s James Storm for an interruption. Storm says he wants some revenge on Roode but doesn’t think the bullrope he has is going to do enough damage.

He wants to use chairs (Dixie: “No.”), tables (“No!”) and the old woman’s dentures if he can get them out of his mouth. Storm wants it to be a Florida death match but Dixie says the Wheel has spoken. James says that’s cool, because he can call the police and change his minds about filing charges and drop out of the tournament. Dixie still says no, so Storm asks all politely and gets what he wants.

TNA World Title Tournament First Round: Magnus vs. Samoa Joe

Falls count anywhere. Joe pops upon the screen and says he wants to start the fight in the back. Magnus heads backstage and we take a break. This is joined in progress in the back with Joe throwing Magnus through various objects. Apparently that was a replay and we cut back to the stage with Magnus getting two off an elbow drop. They head to ringside with Joe taking over via some right hands before taking Magnus down with a running boot to the face.

Magnus avoids the backsplash though and peppers Joe with forearms and uppercuts. Joe snaps off the powerslam for two but walks into the Michinoku Driver. Magnus loads up the top rope elbow but Joe stops him with a chop. A superplex is blocked and Magnus knees him in the chest to put Joe on the mat. Now the top rope elbow connects for two but Joe kicks away from the Kingsley Cloverleaf. The Rock Bottom out of the corner puts Magnus down on the floor and the suicide elbow takes Magnus out again for two.

The Brit sends Joe into the barricade and pulls out a chair which he wedges between the bottom and middle rope. Joe reverses a whip into the chair and hooks the Koquina Clutch but Magnus rams him back first into the apron. Magnus ducks a charging Samoan to send Joe head first into the chair for the pin at 7:11.

Rating: D+. There were some decent moments in this but for the most part the stipulation meant nothing at all. That ending could have happened just as easily in the ring and the backstage brawl part was nothing special. This would have been much better as a regular match or a No DQ match but it wasn’t horrible.

Here’s Bad Influence to watch the Joseph Park vs. Abyss match.

Joseph Park vs. Abyss

Park says he’s here to face his brother for the first time only, meaning that this is his turning point. Naturally there’s no Abyss, so Bad Influence says Park isn’t a good story of someone coming up from the bottom. He’s a jar of mayonnaise with a law degree and a cheap track suit.

The reason Park’s mom Bernice, his dad Alfredo and his great great grandfather Jurassic aren’t here tonight is because he’s such an embarrassment. Daniels asks if Park wants to fight but thinks we need blood first. Kazarian pours a bucket of red liquid over Park and Daniels asks where Abyss is. Daniels demands that a loser like Park get out of the ring right now and Park walks away very sad.

Gail Kim vs. Candice Larea

Candice is another newcomer and is a good looking blonde. Gail runs her over to start and gets two off a running dropkick in the corner. Larea comes back with a headscissors and a sunset flip before awkwardly running into the corner. Kim forearms her a lot and catches a hurricanrana in a sitout powerbomb for two. Eat Defeat is enough for the pin on Candice at 1:52.

AJ Styles video from his time in Japan.

Anderson promises that Aces and 8’s are done tonight.

Gunner gives Storm a pep talk before his match.

We recap Storm vs. Roode. They were partners for years until Roode turned heel on Storm to win the title. A long running feud and series of matches followed.

TNA World Title Tournament First Round: James Storm vs. Bobby Roode

Florida death match, meaning last man standing. Storm doesn’t want to wait and charge sup the ramp to pound on Bobby with a Singapore cane. Roode makes a quick comeback but gets sent into the steps to stop it cold. They head inside with Storm throwing in a garbage can fill of weapons. Storm hits the corner enziguri but his running neckbreaker is countered with a piece of steel to the head.

Storm comes back by driving the trash can between Roode’s legs and trying a middle rope sunset flip, only to have Roode roll through and kick him in the chest. A catapult into the corner is blocked though and Storm hits a trashcan to Roode’s head twice in a row. Roode is up at 9 but is immediately lifted into the Eye of the Storm which Roode counters into a spinebuster onto the trashcan.

They pound on each other with trashcan lids and both guys go down for a seven count. Roode has a crutch but walks into the Last Call and rolls to the floor. He finds a beer bottle on the floor and smashes Storm in the head but James gets up at nine. Roode clotheslines him down again and hits an Attitude Adjustment through two chairs but Storm is up at nine. Bobby is ticked so he goes under the ring and finds a barbed wire board, which I guess is there just in case a Florida death match broke out. Roode loads up another AA but Gunner comes out to throw in the towel and end the match at 12:00.

Rating: C+. The match was better than a bullrope match would have been but the ending was much more about setting up a future program than the match itself. On top of that, Storm loses in ANOTHER big match which does nothing to help his reputation as a choker. Still though, fun brawl.

Post break Gunner pleads his case but Storm is still furious.

Here are the updated brackets:

Hardy

Roode

Angle

Magnus

Your time wasting segment of the week is a look at Samuel Shaw’s apartment and his artwork. The segment finishes filming and Shaw asks Christy out. She says yes and gives her his number before leaving. Shaw makes sure to straighten the notepad and pens she moved. Apparently he’s OCD.

Ethan Carter III has brought his personal jobbers here again but isn’t facing them again because there’s no challenge. Instead he’s facing a TNA legend.

Ray talks about taking care of Anderson tonight. TNA turned their backs on Anderson a year ago, but after Ray ends his career, he’ll make sure to take care of Anderson’s pregnant wife.

Angle is cutting a promo on Magnus when Dixie Carter summons him to her office.

Ethan Carter III vs. Shark Boy

Shark Boy had announced he was coming back tonight on Impact365 earlier this week. Carter bails to the floor for a chase but still avoids an elbow as they get back inside. The Chummer is countered with ease and the One Percenter is good for the pin at 2:06.

We recap Anderson vs. Ray which stemmed from Ray using the club as a way to get himself over and Anderson not being cool with it. Anderson cost Ray a match against Sting and the Bound For Glory rematch against AJ Styles.

Dixie tells Roode and Angle that they’er going to captain teams in an eight man elimination tag match next week.

Mr. Anderson vs. Bully Ray

No DQ and it’s career vs. Aces and 8’s. Anderson is in long tights for the first time I can ever remember. The roster comes out to watch the match from the stage. Anderson jumps Ray during big match intros and hits him low while shouting his name a lot. They head to the floor with Ray ramming him into the steps but stopping to breathe a bit. Ray pulls out a table and we take our last break. Back with Anderson being suplexed into the ring and chopped loudly in the corner. There’s a table set up in the corner as well.

Ray takes off the chain to whip Anderson even more but Anderson takes the chain away and gets in a few whips of his own. Anderson loads up a big chained fist but gets sent to the floor instead. Ray pulls back the mats but Anderson backdrops Ray onto the concrete instead.

Knux saves Ray from being piledriven on the concrete but gets piledriven down onto the mats for his efforts. Back inside and Anderson hits the rolling senton but Ray fights out of the Mic Check. A spear puts Anderson through the table in the corner but it’s only good for two. Tazz hands Brooke the hammer but Anderson intercepts it and blasts Ray in the head. The Mic Check ends Aces and 8’s at 13:00.

Rating: C+. Not a bad brawl here but Aces and 8’s hasn’t meant anything in months so this isn’t the biggest deal in the world. I’m glad they’re gone for good and it’s a good feather in the cap for Anderson, but this is hardly some huge moment that changes wrestling forever. Fun match though.

Anderson gets Ray and Tazz’s cuts to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Most of the matches were good but this didn’t feel like anything major at all. The ending was so far overdue that it doesn’t even feel like a big deal anymore, but at least it finally happened. As for everything else…..nothing significant really happened. Two first round tournament matches don’t feel like anything major to me but at least the wrestling was good for the most part. Not a horrible or even bad show, but it’s nothing you need to see at all.

Results

Magnus b. Samoa Joe – Joe rammed his head into a chair

Gail Kim b. Candice Larea – Eat Defeat

Bobby Roode b. James Storm – Gunner threw in the towel

Ethan Carter III b. Shark Boy – One Percenter

Mr. Anderson b. Bully Ray – Mic Check

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Impact Wrestling
Date: October 31, 2013
Location: Maverik Center, Salt Lake City, Utah
Commentators: Tazz, Mike Tenay

It’s Halloween night and the main story is the TNA World Champion left in a nice car last week, apparently not wanting to sign a contract and taking the title with him. Since this is TNA, you can see the brackets for the tournament being filled out as we speak. I’d assume we’re heading for a champion vs. champion match because that’s what WWE did a few years ago and if WWE can do it, TNA can as well, albeit with more mistakes and stupidity. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of AJ literally driving away from TNA and Dixie with the title in hand to end last week’s show.

Here’s Dixie to open the show, talking about how she served AJ the world up on a plate but he just walked away with his nose in the air. From here on out, AJ is no longer world champion and is just like everyone else that buys replica belts. The title is officially stripped and the car is a present to AJ for all his work.

Therefore, we need a new world champion so we’ll be holding an eight man tournament over the next few weeks for the vacant title. Seven of the entrants are former world champions, so here are James Storm, Samoa Joe, Kurt Angle, Jeff Hardy, Austin Aries, Bobby Roode and Chris Sabin. Everyone gets a video bio of their accomplishments. There’s a spot left so here’s Bully Ray to interrupt.

Before he can say anything though, Dixie announces a gauntlet match for the final tournament spot. Ray gets in the ring and says he’s been forgotten but the fans tell him he tapped out. He blames Earl Hebner and Ken Anderson for the losses, but the lights go out and here comes Anderson. Ken slowly stomps on Ray in the corner as we take a break.

During the break Anderson was taken away by security where Brooke yelled at her. Bully jumps him from behind and whips Anderson with the chain. He yells that Anderson is nothing without the club so stay out of club business.

Garrett Bischoff is asked what he thinks of this and says it’s club business. Knux comes up and says he needs Bischoff’s help in his match tonight.

Tag Titles: Bro Mans vs. James Storm/Gunner

The challengers jump the Bro Mans in the aisle before Gunner sends Robbie into the corner to start the official beating. A splash crushes Robbie and a slingshot suplex gets two. Off to Storm for a double back elbow and a knee drop to give James a two count. Jesse comes in and takes a big chop in the corner to mess with his blood vessels.

Back to Storm who gets two off a back elbow to the jaw followed by Storm getting the same via the Eye of the Storm. Things break down a bit with Gunner being sent out to the floor and Storm backdropping Jesse onto the back of his head. Robbie pulls his partner to the floor to avoid the Last Call before tripping up Storm on a suplex attempt and holding the foot down to give Jesse the pin at 4:15.

Rating: D+. Not much to see here but it’s good to have the Bro Mans get a win like this. They’re the kind of team that is going to have to cheat all the time to keep the belts and it’s just going to make the reaction even bigger when they lose the titles. I’m not wild on Storm and Gunner but they’re good enough for stuff like this.

Sting goes in to see Dixie who is willing to lift the ban on Sting getting a world title shot for tonight only. He can be in the gauntlet but has to start first. Sting leaves without saying yes or no.

We get a recap of Abyss returning last week, leading to Bad Influence dressed up as Sherlock Holmes and Watson. They promise to solve the Abyss mystery and unveil the monster tonight.

Norv Fernum vs. Ethan Carter III

Bernum is the guy Carter squashed at BFG and weighs about 104lbs. Carter tosses him around to start before putting on a standing chinlock. Fernum comes back with some flying shoulder blocks but can’t knock Carter down. Norv scores with a missile dropkick but walks into the bulldog driver (which might be called the 1%) for the pin at 3:10.

Rating: D. Yeah it was a squash, but I’m digging Carter’s character. The turnaround from his character in WWE is reminding me of Rick Rude when he jumped to WCW. In the WWF he was a glorified comedy guy but in WCW he was nothing short of a killer. Carter has gone from Derrick Bateman who was nothing to Carter who looks solid in the ring and has a great look. Well done TNA.

Bobby Roode asks the doctor how Angle can be cleared in just a week. He wants Angle checked again.

Bad Influence run into ODB and Eric, with the latter promising a surprise for them later.

Gauntlet Battle Royal

Sting starts out with Kazarian as this is over the top only with two minute time intervals. They start with a WOO off until Sting rams him into some top turnbuckles. A backdrop puts Kaz down and a suplex does the same. Kaz comes back with some shots to the ribs but can’t put him out in the corner. Knux is in at #3 and we take an early break. Back with Eric Young coming out and no eliminations so far. It’s been way more than two minutes since the break so screw the clock I guess.

Eric cleans house on the heels and pounds away in the corner as Sting gets back up. Kaz pulls at the beard to slow Eric down as Taz rips into Utah and all the wives the people around here have (his words not mine). Knux tries to put Eric out but he “pulls some of the pubic hair out” (again Tazz’s words) to escape. Christopher Daniels is #5 and saves Kaz before he even gets to the ring. Daniels comes in and pounds away on Eric as Bad Influence takes over. Sting suplexes both of them down and we take our second break in than eleven minutes since the opening bell.

Back with Manik in at #6. They’re clearly not doing anything during the break as the guys are in virtually the same positions as when the cameras went off. Manik cleans house and saves himself by headscissoring Kaz down. No eliminations so far and the ring fills up even more with Magnus at #7, the last entrant. Magnus cleans house but gets taken down by a cross body from Knux of all people. Manik escapes a pumphandle slam and catches Knux in a hurricanrana for the elimination.

Kaz hits a springboard elbow to eliminate Manik a few seconds later. Tazz says Aces and 8’s suck. Eric goes up but gets crotched down and kicked in the head by Kaz for an elimination. We’re down to Mafia vs. Bad Influence with Sting clotheslining Kaz down before Magnus hits a Snow Plow on Daniels. Sting gets his eyes raked so the double teaming of Magnus can begin, only to have the Mafia come right back with a clothesline to eliminate Kaz. Magnus sneaks up on Kaz and Sting with a double elimination for the win at 19:40. I’m pretty sure there was no extra action during the commercial though.

Rating: C-. This was pretty lame with just seven people and no real need for the match to go this long. Magnus winning the way he did extends his heel turn a bit more which is the right idea, but I can’t picture him winning the tournament to set up an eventual champion vs. champion match.

Angle has been advised to take the night off but will wrestle anyway.

Dixie has a surprise for us later: the Wheel of Dixie.

Knockouts Title: ODB vs. Gail Kim

ODB spears her down to start and pounds away on the champion in the corner. A splash sets up a Bronco Buster attempt but Gail bails to the floor. Gail loads up Eat Defeat on the floor but gets caught in a fallaway slam instead. ODB looks to go after Gail’s enforcer Lei’D Tapa but gets dropkicked into the announce table instead. There’s the Figure Four around the post as Tenay announces Turning Point for free on November 21.

Back in and Gail puts on a headscissor choke, only to have ODB counter into a half crab. Gail gets to the rope but a Thesz Press gets two for ODB. A front suplex out of the corner puts Gail down but Tapa distracts the referee. Gail grabs a rollup and a rope for the retaining pin at 6:25.

Rating: D+. I am so over the Knockouts as a whole. It’s the same five or so girls having the same feuds with the same dull stories (calling them stories is a stretch. It’s more like Knockout A is champion and Knockout B wins a contenders’ match) resolved in the same dull matches. Nothing to see here and ODB continues to get on my nerves.

Bad Influence has solved the mystery of Abyss.

Back from a break with Daniels and Kaz in the ring to explain their findings. With British accents, Daniels and Kaz say they’ve figured out the on again off again monster Abyss. Apparently it’s under the ring, which is certainly not a ripoff of when Santino dressed up like Sherlock Holmes and was told to solve the mystery of the Raw GM and it wound up being under the ring.

It’s a pumpkin under the ring though, which apparently has more brains than the entire Knockouts roster put together. This brings out Eric Young dressed as Joseph Park in a decent imitation. He has no proof that Halloween is a real holiday but it’s the big guy’s favorite holiday. Eric has a message for bad Influence so he punches them both, earning himself a beatdown. Abyss comes out for the save and crushes Bad Influence before helping Young up in the corner.

Here are the world title tournament brackets.

Hardy

Sabin

Roode

Storm

Angle

Aries

Magnus

Joe

As simple as this sounds, the wheel of Dixie will determine what the gimmick is for Sabin vs. Hardy. It’s Full Metal Mayhem, which is basically TLC.

Kurt Angle vs. Bobby Roode

This would be the third Bound For Glory rematch of the night. Roode was inducted into the EGO Hall of Fame to mock Angle, but since Angle declined the induction into the TNA Hall of Fame, the whole thing is kind of worthless now. Angle takes him into the corner to start but Roode bails to the floor to escape the ankle lock. Back in and Roode chops away but gets caught in a belly to belly. Roode bails to the floor again and has to rake Angle’s eyes to break up another suplex.

Back from a break with Roode working on the ribs with an abdominal stretch. Angle escapes and puts on Rolling Germans, getting up to about five of them this time. Roode fights up but has to escape the ankle lock. There’s the Crossface but Kurt tries to grab the ankle lock to counter. Roode rolls back and puts the hold on again, only to have to let go to escape a cradle and get it on for a third time. Angle rolls backwards again and puts on the Angle Slam for two but his shoulder is almost gone.

There’s the ankle lock but Roode rolls through into a cradle for tow. Roode comes back with an AA into a neckbreaker for a close two as this starts getting better. Angle gets the ankle lock again with the grapevine but Roode is too close to the ropes. Roode goes up but Angle runs up the ropes for the big Angle Slam for two. Angle stops moving and the match is stopped at 16:23.

Rating: B. Good match for the most part here until the storyline finish, which was again, THE SAME THING WE SAW AT BFG. Is this company really that creatively bankrupt that they can’t come up with something else? Like Roode dropping him in the fisherman’s suplex and Angle being knocked out that way? ANYTHING else? Good match until the ending though.

Angle is shaking badly to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. The show wasn’t bad tonight but it was yet another rehash of Bound For Glory with over half the matches being rematches from the PPV. The tournament will help things out but they need something new to light a fire under this company. Maybe the changes behind the scenes will help out but they rarely have before. Not a bad show this week but nothing that set the world on fire.

Results

Bro Mans b. Gunner/James Storm – Suplex reversal to Storm

Ethan Carter III b. Norv Fernum – Bulldog driver

Magnus won a gauntlet battle royal last elimination Sting and Kazarian

Gail Kim b. ODB – Rollup

Bobby Roode b. Kurt Angle via referee stoppage

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Bound For Glory 2013
Date: October 20, 2013
Location: Viejas Arena, San Diego, California
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

We’ve finally reached the biggest show of the year and while it hasn’t been the greatest build in the world, the night should have some solid wrestling to make up for it. The main event tonight is the winner of the Bound For Glory Series AJ Styles challenging Bully Ray for the world title. Other than that we have a five way Ultimate X match and potentially the return of Hulk Hogan, who may or may not have signed a new contract. Let’s get to it.

Tag Team Gauntlet

It’s a four team gauntlet match with the winning team getting the tag title shot on the PPV. We start with Bad Influence vs. Hernandez/Chavo Guerrero. The Bro Mans will be fourth due to Robbie E. winning a four way on Impact. Eric Young and Joseph Park will be third due to winning a drawing earlier tonight. Hernandez cleans house to start and Bad Influence bails to the floor. We finally get down to Daniels running into a big boot from Hernandez in the corner and take a quick break.

Back with Hernandez hitting an over the shoulder face plant to stop Kazarian’s momentum, allowing for a double tag to Chavo vs. Daniels. Chavo gets two off a headscissors and everything breaks down. Hernandez runs over Bad Influence and hits the big shoulder to run over Kazarian. Daniels low bridges SuperMex to the floor but walks into Three Amigos from Chavo. Not that it matters though as Kaz comes back in to distract Chavo, giving Daniels a rollup with a handful of trunks for the pin at 7:30.

Young and Park are in next but get jumped on the way in. Park runs over Kazarian and slams him down, only to have Daniels chop block him down to give Kazarian control. Bad Influence double teams the big man as the fans chant for Young. Kazarian can’t quite get a sunset flip but avoids a seated senton from the big guy.

We take another break and come back with Eric getting the hot tag and pounding away on Daniels in the corner. Young flips over the corner and does Daniels’ strut down the apron before coming back for a belly to belly and a near fall. Kazarian makes the save and gets sent to the floor, allowing Daniels to hit a release Rock Bottom but miss the BME. Park hits a Samoan Drop on Daniels to give Young the pin at 16:50.

Bad Influence jumps Park and Young post match and sends Park into the Ultimate X structure. The referee calls for help as Park is injured and Young is out cold in the ring. Here come the Bro Mans with special guest Mr. Olympia Phil Heath. It’s basically a handicap match here with Young getting double teamed for a big, only to make a comeback with right hands and forearms. A slam puts Robbie down and Eric drops a top rope elbow for two. The numbers finally catch up with Eric though and a double flapjack sets up a Hart Attack for the pin and the title shot at 22:00.

Rating: C-. Nothing special here but I liked the length of the match. Far too often in these things the falls last about 2 minutes each and are completely unrealistic when you compare them to normal wrestling matches. Having the shortest be seven and a half minutes made this far better. Also anything that keeps Chavo and Hernandez off my screen is a good thing.

The opening video for the PPV is the usual thing you would expect: talking about how this is the culmination of the entire year and everything leads to this night.

X-Division Title: Samoa Joe vs. Manik vs. Chris Sabin vs. Austin Aries vs. Jeff Hardy

This is Ultimate X, meaning there are four towers around the ring with ropes connecting them in an X shape. You have to climb up and crawl across the ropes and pull down the belt to win. Manik is defending coming in but Sabin has been in 16 of these matches. Chris bails to the floor to start, only to have Aries follow him out and send Sabin into the structure. Hardy and Manik head outside as well until Sabin goes in, only to be pounded down by the Samoan. Aries comes back in and sends Joe to the floor to take over.

Jeff starts to climb the structure but hops down to the apron, only to pull Aries down a few seconds later. Manik takes Hardy down and slaps a Sharpshooter kind of move on Sabin, only to have Aries make the save. Austin goes up again but Jeff pulls him down and hits a falling powerbomb facebuster (think a powerbomb but falling backwards instead of forward) before pulling out a ladder. Joe dives through the ropes to knock the ladder into Joe, only to be taken down by Sabin.

Manik drops Sabin but here’s Aries with a huge dive of his own to take everyone out. Aries goes for the belt but the champion comes back in for a save. Manik sends Aries to the floor but here’s Sabin almost immediately. Joe sends Aries back in and pounds away on him in the corner but Austin comes right back with a kick to the head. Hardy and Joe take dropkicks in the corner from Aries but Joe escapes the brainbuster. Aries gets caught in a quick spinning joke but Manik is going for the title, only to be pulled down into a low blow from the Samoan.

Sabin dropkicks Joe into the ropes but Jeff comes in with the Whisper in the Wind to put Chris down. Now the ladder is set up in the middle of the ring but Joe slams Jeff’s head into the top to knock him down. Aries dropkicks Joe down but Manik springboards up to the ropes and then the ladder, only to have Sabin shove the ladder and both of them over. Hardy hits the Twist of Fate to take Sabin down but can’t follow up. Sabin sends his girlfriend Velvet Sky in to make the save but it’s just a distraction for Sabin to go up and win the belt at 12:00.

Rating: C+. The match was fun but that’s a pretty lame ending. I know it’s a heel move from Sabin, but it was Hardy that brought the ladder in to start. The ending was really lackluster and the match lacked a lot of the drama that these matches had. I don’t think there was even one near finish which made it feel like it came out of nowhere.

We’re going to be seeing great AJ Styles moments tonight with the fist being Styles winning the first X-Division Title in 2002.

Here’s Bad Influence to fill in some time because there are only six matches tonight. Kazarian says that it’s a shame they’re not on the card tonight. Daniels says they’re the stepchildren of this company despite the fact that they ARE TNA. They beat Chavo and Hernandez earlier, Young and Park are a fisherman and a lawyer so they shouldn’t count, and since this company is obsessed with multiple people in matches, let’s make the tag title match a threeway.

This brings out Eric Young who says he isn’t looking for a fight because he already beat them tonight. He says he’s a scientist and the two of them did something earlier tonight which created a monster. They should run but instead Young gets double teamed. Cue the returning Abyss to clean house. Bad Influence is taken out and Abyss helps Eric up. Remember when Park and Young beat Bad Influence on the preshow? Well they just did it again here, just not in an actual match.

James Storm and Gunner say they’re ready to defend the titles against the jokes that are the Bro Mans.

Tag Titles: Bro Mans vs. James Storm/Gunner

Robbie E. and Jesse Godderz still have Mr. Olympia Phil Heath with them. The champions run the goofs over to start and send them out to the floor so Gunner can backdrop Storm over the top onto the Bro Mans. We officially start with Storm throwing Jesse around with a hiptoss before it’s off to Gunner. An elbow to the face and a slingshot suplex get two each on Jesse before Robbie gets in a shot from the apron to take over. Robbie comes in and pounds away on Gunner before getting two off a dropkick.

Gunner comes back with a jumping knee to the face but Jesse runs in to knock James off the apron. Robbie drags Gunner back into the challengers’ corner before bringing Jesse back in. Gunner comes right back with a quick fallaway slam and the hot tag brings in Storm. James cleans house and gets two on Robbie off a running neckbreaker. The Bro Mans get their act together and load up a double superplex on James, only to have Gunner pull James off into an electric chair.

Robbie is taken down by a front suplex, allowing James to drop a top rope elbow for two. Storm has a nasty cut on the side of his leg and Robbie scores with a quick Edgecution for two. Gunner loads up Robbie in the Gun Rack but Robbie makes the save, only to get caught in a powerbomb. Storm adds a Backstabber but Jesse makes the save at the last second. James hits the Last Call on Jesse but Robbie throws in a title belt for a distraction, allowing the Bro Mans to hit the Hart Attack for the pin and the titles at 11:48.

Rating: C. This was better than I was expecting but it’s not like it means anything long term. The tag division means nothing at all and if time has proven one thing, it’s that one team can hardly ever breathe life back into belts that a company isn’t interested in pushing. The near fall off the superkick was really good but other than that it was your basic tag match.

Video from the Hall of Fame induction last night including Sting with a bare face in a rare sight.

Here’s Sting to induct Angle into the Hall of Fame. Sting talks about how so many people respect Kurt because of what he does in and out of the ring. Kurt comes out and thanks everyone before pausing for a THANK YOU ANGLE chant. Sting says it’s time to induct him, but Angle says that he has to decline. He’s setting a new standard for the industry because what’s he’s accomplished before will be nothing compared to what he has in the future. He’ll join Sting one day though. The fans are stunned and Sting doesn’t look pleased.

AJ Styles won the world title at No Surrender 2009.

Dixie gets a phone call and says she wants all of AJ’s merchandise on sale. Ethan Carter, Dixie’s nephew, comes up behind her for his debut. Apparently Dixie has a match for him tonight and they have a family motto: “The world needs us. We’re the Carters.”

Knockouts Title: ODB vs. Brooke vs. Gail Kim

ODB is defending. Brooke looks GREAT in a leather version of her usual attire. Gail is knocked to the floor to start with Brooke taking over on ODB in the corner. Brooke gives her a Stink Face but ODB pops up and sends her into the corner for a Bronco Buster. Gail comes back in, only to be knocked back to the floor a few seconds later. Brooke works on ODB’s back and gets two off a quick neckbreaker.

Gail pops back up and grabs the figure four around the post, only to have ODB make the save with her chest. ODB chops Brooke but gets rolled up for a quick two. Off to a half crab on Brooke but Gail makes another save. The challengers both go up but have to shove off a double superplex attempt, followed by Gail hitting a missile dropkick on ODB. Brooke adds a top rope elbow (WAY too popular of a move tonight) for no cover.

Back up and ODB gets two on Gail via a delayed vertical suplex. The referee gets taken out as ODB somehow gets both girls up in a fireman’s carry at the same time. Brooke falls off but ODB slams Gail onto her….and here’s Tapa. She runs over ODB and takes her out, only to powerbomb Gail on top of ODB for the pin and the title at 10:33.

Rating: D+. This could have been on any given Impact and that’s the problem with this show: nothing feels special at all so far. Gail is champion again. So? She’s been champion before, just like everyone else in the division. Nothing to see here other than Brooke looking great.

Gail hugs Tapa to reveal a ruse.

The Bro Mans celebrate.

Bobby is shocked at Angle turning the induction down and is going to prove why he’s the better man tonight.

We recap Angle vs. Roode, which is all over Roode being inducted into the EGO Hall of Fame, ticking off now non-Hall of Famer Kurt. This is Angle’s first match back from rehab.

Kurt Angle vs. Bobby Roode

Angle has a bad shoulder coming in. Feeling out process to start with Angle taking it to the mat but having to bail to the floor to avoid the Crossface. Back in and Angle tries the ankle lock but Bobby rolls through to send Angle back to the floor. Bobby takes over on the floor but Angle takes him down with a suplex. Back in and Roode scores with a quick hotshot to put Kurt back on the floor before going after the neck even more.

Roode takes him back inside and works the neck with clotheslines and shots to the back of the head. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Kurt fights his way up and rolls the Germans for the first time in several months. A belly to belly gets two but Roode armdrags out of the Angle Slam. Roode scores with the spinebuster for two but Angle slips out of a fireman’s carry and grabs the ankle lock.

Bobby slips out of the hold again and sends Kurt shoulder first into the post before loading up the Crossface. Kurt fights up and gets a quick ankle lock, only to have Roode roll over into the Crossface again. Angle almost tape but turns it over into traded rollups for two each. Back up again and Angle tries a clothesline, only to get caught in the Crossface for the third time.

Angle fights up again and gets an Angle Slam for a VERY close two. Both guys are down now with Angle holding his arm. They slap it out from their knees with Angle getting the better of it before grabbing more Rolling Germans. Roode shoves the referee away so he can kick Kurt low to take over again.

Roode busts out an Attitude Adjustment of all things (I’m shocked no one has stolen that move yet) for two but Kurt is able to slap on the ankle lock yet again. Roode tries to kick Kurt away like he did earlier but Angle holds on and hooks the grapevine. Bobby is no Brock Lesnar and can’t make the rope so he passes out, but as the referee lifts the arm it falls onto the rope for the break. Kurt is ticked off so he loads up Roode into a SUPER ANGLE SLAM but he can’t follow up. Roode gets to his feet at nine and falls into a cover for the surprise pin at 21:00.

Rating: B+. This is the kind of match the show needed. Roode winning is the right call and the stuff at the end was really solid. The opening part of the match was dull but at least the right guy won to avenge the loss he had two years ago. Angle didn’t need the win at all so Roode winning is definitely the right call.

Post match Angle still isn’t moving so medics come out to check on him. Angle won’t let them put a neck brace on and gets off a stretcher to walk out on his own.

AJ beat Sting at Bound For Glory 2009.

Bully says tonight is about the Aces and 8’s being reborn. There are a bunch of guys whose faces we can’t see with Ray implying it’s all the old members coming back tonight.

Ethan Carter III vs. Norv Fernum

Carter is former WWE talent Derrick Bateman. Fervum is apparently a local guy and looks to weigh about 150lbs. Carter runs him over to start and forearms his way out of a wristlock. A t-bone suplex takes Fervum down and it’s off to a one arm camel clutch. Norv fights up and hits some shoulder blocks and a pair of dropkicks followed by a top rope cross body for two. Ethan hits a quick Bulldog Driver to end Fervum at 3:28.

Rating: D-. Carter has a good look but this wasn’t needed on a PPV at all. That’s the problem with this whole show as I mentioned earlier: this doesn’t feel like anything special. We’ve had a promo with a return earlier and now an added squash match just to pad in the time. That’s not a good sign at all.

Magnus says this is the new biggest night of his life and he’s not going to leave without until he knocks the door down. He has everything to lose tonight and it makes him feel more dangerous.

We recap Sting vs. Magnus. Magnus blew the BFG Series finals and thinks he can’t do it, so Sting is going to give him a chance tonight.

Sting vs. Magnus

Feeling out process to start with Sting sending Magnus out to the floor in frustration. Back in and Magnus sends him into the corner for some shoulder blocks. We hit a body scissors as Magnus is being rather aggressive here. Back up and Magnus drives in shoulders to the ribs but gets caught in a backdrop so Sting can pound away. There’s a quick Stinger Splash and we’re already in the Scorpion Deathlock less than five minutes in.

Magnus kicks away and a double clothesline puts both guys down. The Brit hits a quick Stinger Splash of his own and gets two off the falcon’s arrow. Sting kicks away from the Cloverleaf and hits another Stinger Splash before putting on the Deathlock again. As usual Sting doesn’t sit down on it at all so Magnus is able to crawl over to the ropes. Stinger Splash number three lands on an uppercut and Magnus hits a Scorpion Death Drop on his own to set up the top rope elbow.

Sting kicks out at two and is able to avoid the second top rope elbow, putting both guys down again. Magnus fires off some hard forearms but Sting says bring it. Sting gets taken down into the Cloverleaf with Magnus actually cranking on the hold….for the submission at 11:02. I NEVER remember Sting tapping before.

Rating: C. Not a great match but the ending couldn’t have been better for Magnus. Sting gave up in the center of the ring without a bit of cheating at all. Good match here and the ending was the perfectly right call, but the match didn’t feel like it had a middle part which hurt it a bit.

Magnus leaves without shaking Sting’s hand.

AJ won the BFG Series this year.

Bully quotes Guns N Roses by saying welcome to his jungle. He doesn’t want AJ to die though. Instead he wants AJ to have to go back to Georgia and tell his family why he lost tonight. More greatness from the champion here.

We recap AJ Styles vs. Bully Ray, which is almost all about AJ vs. Dixie. AJ won the title shot in the BFG Series but the main story is about Dixie Carter not wanting a hick like AJ as the world champion. She’s promised tonight is his last night in the company.

TNA World Title: AJ Styles vs. Bully Ray

This is No DQ and No Countout. AJ’s music is the full dark theme this time and doesn’t break into Get Ready To Fly. After the big match intros we’re ready to go. Ray talks a lot of trash to start and slams AJ down with ease. AJ is thrown around again and his wristlock is broken up by a HARD clothesline. Ray shouts about smelling fear on AJ for years now, which motivates AJ into a dropkick.

Styles hooks the Calf Killer out of nowhere, drawing out Garrett Bischoff for a distraction for the break. It’s going to be one of those matches isn’t it. Garrett slides Ray the hammer but AJ kicks it away and grabs the hammer for himself. Ray blocks it with a chop and hits an even harder one for good measure. AJ says hit me again and Ray is stunned, allowing Styles to fire off some right hands. Ray chops him again but AJ says bring it. AJ goes after the leg but as he goes up, here’s Knux for another distraction. Styles dives at him but gets caught in a chokeslam to give Ray two.

Ray yells at Earl Hebner for the near fall so Earl yells back, only to have Ray miss a shot and take out Knux by mistake. Ray punches AJ down and then kicks him to the floor with the hammer going out too. The champion gets the hammer but AJ kicks him in the head, knocking Ray to the table. AJ grabs the hammer but throws it down and rams Ray into the table instead. Styles loads up a springboard 450 but Ray moves, sending AJ crashing through the table in a SCARY landing.

With Earl seeing if AJ can remember what planet he’s on, Taz hands Ray a box cutter so he can cut up the ring like he did at Slammiversary. The wood under the mat is revealed as AJ is trying to crawl back into the ring. Ray calls for someone to come out to the ring and here comes Dixie. She looks scared but Ray tells her to get a chair. Dixie demands one from security but AJ springboards in with the forearm to drive the chair into Bully’s head.

There’s the springboard 450 but Dixie tells Earl to count slowly. After about 20 seconds Earl gets to two and Ray kicks out. Ray backdrops out of the Styles Clash to send AJ back first into the wood but doesn’t cover. Ray’s middle rope backsplash actually connects but AJ is up at two. The fans aren’t really caring that much about these near falls. Bully blasts him twice in the back with the chair but AJ rolls out of a powerbomb and Peles Ray down. AJ blasts Ray in the head with the chair and there’s the Spiral Tap for the pin and the title at 20:34.

Rating: C. This wasn’t so much about would AJ win but how would he win. I do however have one question: can we PLEASE have a main event not be overbooked? These two have shown they can have a good match together without all the nonsense, but apparently that’s not allowed anymore. It doesn’t work when we saw this at Slammiversary and the luster was kind of gone here. Also, where were the extra Aces that Ray had? Where did Garrett go? At this point though, I’d take anything decent as a main event and that’s what this was: decent but not great.

A long highlight package of the main event and AJ celebrating in the crowd ends the show.

Overall Rating: D+. That’s being really generous too. The main events were decent to good, but this show can be summed up in four words: not bad, seen better. That’s the problem with everything tonight: everything on this show has been done better before. TNA is just such a mess at this point and nothing on here made me want to see what’s happening going forward. AJ vs. Dixie does nothing for me and the reaction to Dixie as the top heel has been bad to say the least.

The build coming into this show was pretty dreadful with almost none of the matches feeling like they meant anything. The X Title and Knockouts Title matches were thrown together, the Tag Title match was literally made tonight and the World Title was secondary to AJ vs. Dixie. The wrestling was passable for the most part but the biggest show of the year should blow the doors off instead of just being passable. This show just didn’t work tonight and I really don’t like where TNA looks to be going in the near or far future.

Also, this sums up TNA right now.  This is during Sting vs. Magnus (thank KJ):

Results

Chris Sabin b. Manik, Samoa Joe, Jeff Hardy and Austin Aries – Sabin pulled down the title

Bro Mans b. James Storm/Gunner – Hart Attack to Storm

Gail Kim b. Brooke and ODB – Kim pinned Brooke after a powerbomb from Lei’D Tapa

Bobby Roode b. Kurt Angle – Roode pinned Angle after Angle hit a top rope Angle Slam

Ethan Carter III b. Norv Fernum – Bulldog driver

Magnus b. Sting – Cloverleaf

AJ Styles b. Bully Ray – Spiral Tap

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