Halloween Havoc 1994
Date: October 23, 1994
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 14,000
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan

Someone requested this show and I haven’t watched any WCW in a VERY long time now. It’s as good of a time as any as I could go for a little pallet cleanser. Hulk Hogan has shown up and that means it’s time to put everything around him. You have to get rid of some big names at the same time, so the big main event is Hogan vs. Ric Flair in a cage, title/career vs. career. Hint hint. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is a weird music video deal about Hogan vs. Flair. Just imagine what WCW would come up with in this situation and you know what you’re in for.

I do miss that Halloween Havoc logo with the two sides coming together and the light shining.

The announcers welcome us to the show and Heenan, in a neck brace, talks about great things that have come out Detroit, mainly focusing on wrestling. All of that is going to pale in comparison to the END OF HULKAMANIA right here tonight.

T. Graham Brown, the latest country singer that WCW thought people would care about, sings the National Anthem.

TV Title: Johnny B. Badd vs. Honky Tonk Man

Badd is defending and WOW I always forget that Honky Tonk was in WCW because it’s just so random and terrible. Like, this was low even for WCW. Hold on though as Badd has to launch the Badd Blasters (confetti guns) before we can get going. Honky Tonk hides in the corner to start before Badd wristlocks him down and drops a leg on the arm for a bonus. The always funny atomic drop lets Badd mess with Honky Tonk’s hair and it’s time for a breather on the floor.

We’ll use said breather to look at Sting on the WCW Hotline (if you’re a real fan, you know the number and charges by heart). Not hear him mind you, but watching him talk. Back in and Honky Tonk sends him into the buckle, followed by an elbow to the face to put Badd down. We’re in the chinlock less than three and a half minutes in, which is a really bad sign in the first match of a pay per view.

Honky Tonk chokes on the ropes and we FINALLY acknowledge one Muhammad Ali in the front row. But we have time for T. Graham Brown??? Badd gets two off a sunset flip and we hit the chinlock at five minutes of the ten minute time limit. The comeback doesn’t take long as Badd hits a pair of slams but misses an elbow, allowing us to hit the chinlock again. Badd is up again with more rights and lefts, only to get sent into the ropes with three minutes left.

Never being that smart, Honky Tonk throws him outside and drops an ax handle as time keeps going by. Back in and we hit ANOTHER chinlock as Heenan is nearly screaming at Honky Tonk to GET GOING ALREADY. Badd makes another comeback and sends him into the buckle with less than a minute to go. The Kiss That Don’t Miss misses and Honky Tonk hits a belly to back suplex (Heenan: “COVER HIM!!!!”) gets no cover. They roll around on the mat until time expires at 10:02.

Rating: F. Are you kidding me? They had a ten minute match and needed THREE CHINLOCKS to get through the thing? I know Honky Tonk Man was an awesome heel at one point but come on already. Badd’s finisher is a punch and you can’t work an armbar? This felt so far out of place and comes off like one of Hogan’s buddies getting a job and absolutely nothing more. Terrible match and now I’m supposed to want to see them fight again in a rematch? Is there any wonder why it was so easy to fire Honky Tonk Man?

Badd beats him up post match.

Video on Hogan vs. Flair, including the masked man who attacked Hogan in a recreation of the Tonya Harding incident. That was supposed to be Mr. Perfect but contractual issues kept it from happening. Also, Mr. T., the guest referee in tonight’s main event, may be in cahoots with Ric Flair.

Heenan isn’t worried because Flair can just go for the knee and he’s guaranteed to win.

Tag Team Titles: Pretty Wonderful vs. Stars And Stripes

Pretty Wonderful (Paul Orndorff/Paul Roma) are challenging against Marcus Bagwell/The Patriot. Orndorff and Patriot start things off with a lockup that goes nowhere. Heenan thinks Patriot is Al Gore as everything breaks down early on. Bagwell is left alone in the ring as Heenan thinks we have a long way to go yet. Back in and Orndorff gets caught between both champs so it’s Roma coming in and getting his arm cranked.

Roma slams Bagwell down, runs up the corner and turns around for a top rope forearm to the chest (cool). Heenan: “What a great cat burglar he’d be.” Bagwell is back up and grabs an armbar, setting up a top rope sunset flip for two. Orndorff comes in and gets taken down as well as the champs are way too fast for them to start. A few slams put Orndorff down again and a clothesline puts him outside.

Orndorff finally gets Bagwell down with a headlock and it’s Roma dropping an elbow to really put him in trouble. A little too much taunting lets Bagwell knock Roma into the corner though and it’s Patriot coming back in to work on Roma’s arm. Bagwell cranks on the arm as well but gets driven into the corner so Orndorff can get in a cheap shot from the apron. Roma’s top rope elbow to the ribs keeps Bagwell in trouble as the assortment of forearms and punches continues.

The announcers ignore the match to talk about sights of Detroit and Hogan vs. Flair because Roma slowly beating up Bagwell isn’t all that interesting. Roma goes WAY too high on a dropkick and misses Bagwell, who gets in a headscissors but Orndorff cuts him off again. At least they can do the formula stuff well enough, even if the execution isn’t the best.

A hard clothesline drops Bagwell again and Orndorff sends him face first into the mat. Bagwell blocks a suplex though and gets over for the hot…well not a tag actually as Patriot just comes in and everything breaks down. The Yellowjacket suplex (fisherman’s suplex) has Orndorff down so Roma comes in off the top with an elbow to break it up and give Orndorff the pin and the titles at 13:47.

Rating: D+. This was pretty dull at times but it was miles ahead of the opener. Patriot was one of about a million partners Bagwell had (Like last year, when he and 2 Cold Scorpio lost the titles to the Nasty Boys at Halloween Havoc 1993 in the exact same finish. WCW was not good with fresh ideas.) and it’s not like the team was all that big of a deal. Orndorff was another of Hogan’s friends but at least he was a bigger star, better in the ring and had been pushed before Hogan showed up. Not a very good match but I can go for the formula stuff most of the time.

Ric Flair, during his fairly forgettable time with Sister Sherri, promises to take care of Hogan tonight when everything is on the line. It’s to prove the greatest of all time and the price is right. What a random catchphrase but Sherri was always a bit out there. Flair: “Sayonara!”

Heenan swears Hogan is gone after tonight.

We recap Dave Sullivan vs. Kevin Sullivan. They’re brothers and Dave is kind of stupid so Kevin yells at him for wanting to be like Hulk Hogan. Dave finally stood up to him so Kevin beat him down, setting up the match. There’s just one problem: Dave is on a short list for worst wrestler of all time.

Dave Sullivan vs. Kevin Sullivan

Dave comes out to “I Want To Be A Hulkamaniac” and wears a Hogan bandanna and robe. The fans….don’t care, including those in their own Hogan gear, because this really is that bad of an idea. Dave shoulders him to the floor to start and takes off the robe to reveal a Hogan shirt and red and yellow gear. Kevin clotheslines him down as we hear about those being the same boots that Hogan wore when he beat Andre.

They head outside with Dave going into the post as Heenan talks about wanting to bash kids in the head. Back in and Dave charges into a boot in the corner, allowing Kevin to hit a running crotch attack on the ropes. Heenan: “They used to do this at dinner over who took the last chicken leg.” Kevin chokes with a Hogan bandanna so Dave fights back and does the same, setting up the big boot. That’s enough for Kevin to try and make up, allowing him to get in a cheap shot. It’s back to the floor with Kevin posting Dave….who rolls back inside and beats the count for the win at 5:15.

Rating: D-. E pluribus gads this show is becoming a nightmare. Not only was the match terrible but the whole thing was designed to be a Hogan tribute character. It wasn’t enough to have Hogan be the star of the promotion but he needed a bad wrestler to pay tribute to him every few seconds? Terrible match and an even worse idea as the awful show continues.

We recap Dustin Rhodes vs. Arn Anderson. Dustin had been dealing with the Stud Stable and needed help. For reasons of pure stupidity, Dustin asked Anderson to be his partner, more or less guaranteeing that he’d turn on Dustin in the process. Then THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT HE DID, because it’s what Anderson does. It’s just his nature you see. Anyway, Dustin got his dad Dusty to help (in an awesome, underrated promo) so they could win WarGames but now it’s the showdown for revenge.

Arn Anderson vs. Dustin Rhodes

Anderson has Meng and Colonel Parker in his corner. I do miss the horribly bad but still catchy “Well They Call Him The Natural” theme for Dustin here. WCW always had bad original music and it’s kind of a guilty pleasure. A lockup sends Anderson into the corner and let’s look at a boxer at ringside. They get separated for a bit until Dustin gets in a snapmare, meaning Anderson needs to complain about a hair pull. That’s fine with Dustin, who pops him in the jaw with a right hand.

Anderson catches him on top though as this is already the best match of the show by about fourteen miles. The superplex attempt is broken up and Dustin hits a top rope clothesline for two. Anderson hits his own shot to the face and drops an elbow before starting in on the leg. It’s way too early for the Figure Four though as Dustin kicks him to the floor, where Anderson clotheslines the post by mistake.

Unlike Honky Tonk Man, Dustin is smart enough to go after the arm, which gets pulled a lot back inside. Back up and Anderson ducks a charge to send Dustin crashing hard out to the floor. Anderson does his test of strength on the mat so he can jump down onto Dustin and crotch himself spot (technical term), only to throw in a surprise by having Dustin catch him in a bodyscissors.

That just earns him a catapult into the ropes but Dustin is back up for the slugout. The double clothesline puts them both down but Dustin is up first with a regular clothesline for two. Dustin ducks his head for some reason, though he’s smart enough to grab the rope and block the DDT. It’s time to go after Arn’s arm (as he did to Dustin) but the knee drop misses, allowing Arn to grab a rollup with the ropes for two. Dustin is right back up and grabs his own rollup (without the rope) for the pin at 9:53.

Rating: C+. It says so much when this is the match of the night and it’s not even all that great. The wrestling was fine enough but the storytelling carried it as far as it went, as you could see Dustin wanting revenge and Anderson being his usual angry/evil self. I wasn’t big on the feud as a whole but what we got here was pretty good. It’s certainly better than anything else we’ve seen on this show.

Post match Anderson beats the fire out of Dustin and leaves him laying. Cue that awful song again!

Hulk Hogan talks about trying to sneak into town with Jimmy Hart and the Big Brother (as Brutus Beefcake gets ANOTHER name) but there were so many anti-Flair signs all over the place and they just couldn’t do it. This is going to be as big as the time Hogan slammed that giant.

He’s not worried about Mr. T. possibly being in Flair’s pocket because he talked to Mr. T. the other day and knows he’s still training, saying his prayers and taking his vitamins. The only thing Hogan is worried about is Flair trying to go after Mr. T. in the cage. Gene brings up all of the celebrities here and Hogan goes on a mini rant about how Flair is all that matters. The three of them have a game plan though and Flair is done tonight.

Heenan and Tony talk about the main event AGAIN. They do know we’ve already paid to see it right??? Anyway Heenan is convinced Hogan is done and all he’ll hear is a WOO.

We recap Jim Duggan beating Steve Austin for the US Title in about fifteen seconds at Fall Brawl. This was when Austin was wearing black, insulting legends and swearing a lot. I’d go with Duggan too.

US Title: Steve Austin vs. Jim Duggan

Duggan is defending. During the entrances, Tony talks about how he went to the Ford world headquarters. This sends Heenan into a hilarious rant about how boring Tony is, because he went to Tiger Stadium when there was no game and then he went to a car company where everyone was laid off. Heenan: “Maybe tomorrow we can go to the park and watch the grass grow!”

Austin jumps him before the bell and unloads in the corner (my goodness it’s weird seeing him do the stomping with hair) but Duggan fights right back. A kick to the face cuts Duggan off but he’s right back with a quickly broken sleeper. Austin kicks at the knee (Heenan: “Are you watching Mr. Hogan?”) to take over and some knees to said knee…don’t do much as Duggan kicks him into the corner.

The Flair cannonball onto the leg misses again and an atomic drop puts Austin on the floor. Back in and Austin offers a handshake but gets headlocked instead. That’s broken up as well and Austin hits a middle rope ax handle to the head. Duggan punches him out of the air on a second attempt, which at least breaks up another Hogan vs. Flair discussion.

A quick grab of the referee lets Austin get in a low blow (Heenan: “There goes that trick knee again.”) and it’s some choking in the corner to keep Duggan in trouble. There’s a middle rope elbow as the empty seats are becoming a little more prevalent. Duggan makes the comeback, with Tony hyping him up as the working class hero. The comeback is on but Austin backdrops him to the floor for the DQ at 8:03.

Rating: D+. Duggan is another one of Hogan’s friends and the US Title (especially over Austin) is WAY too high for him but he has charisma and can wrestle a basic power match well enough. It wasn’t anything good but it also wasn’t a nightmare, so we can put this on the higher end of the “new” generation.

Here’s Sting, in a tuxedo, for a chat. He’s here to sit ringside for the main event so he can have a bird’s eye view. Uh, sitting ringside is not exactly a bird’s eye view but Sting has never been the brightest guy in the world.

We recap the Guardian Angel (Big Boss Man) vs. Vader in a big man fight for the #1 contendership. They’ve fought a few times with Vader winning via DQ and then thanks to some cheating. Basically Angel has been screwed over so many times that he’s ready to snap.

Vader vs. Guardian Angel

Angel has some members of the actual Guardian Angels (a volunteer crime prevention group, who ultimately made WCW stop using the name) with him during his entrance. Vader goes over to Ali and you can probably hear WCW gasp backstage but Vader drops to a knee to pay his respect instead in a rather awesome moment. Angel beats up Vader’s manager Harley Race (he probably loved it) before the bell and then slaps Vader to get things going.

You know Vader is fine with slugging away in the corner and Angel is pounded down in a hurry. Some standing clotheslines rock Angel even worse and a big one puts him on the floor. The splash hits the barricade though and Angel punches him down. Race gets punched again as well, with Angel slamming Vader on top of him back inside. Back up and Angel punches him a few times but can’t knock him down.

Vader comes back with some fast jabs and you can see Ali pointing and smiling. Angel manages a powerslam off the ropes (Vader loved that spot) and a top rope headbutt to the ribs gets two. Back up and Angel gets sent hard into the ropes so the Vader Bomb can connect (Heenan: “Bye bye doughnut breath.”)….for two.

That doesn’t happen often so Vader goes up again, only to hit raised knees on the second attempt. A spinebuster gets two on Vader and Heenan is stunned at the kickout. The Boss Man Slam gets…no cover as Angel goes after Race instead. That earns Race a suplex back in but Vader uses the distraction to hit a splash for the quick pin at 8:20.

Rating: B. This was a rather fun fight because they did what they were supposed to do here. There was no need to do anything more than have two big guys hit each other really hard until one of them couldn’t get up. Angel looked good here, which isn’t something you could say very often after early 1991 so it was a nice surprise in a heck of a match.

Boxing legend Thomas Hearns talks about the big fight feel of the main event. I don’t think Hearns has any idea what is going on here and he’s ok with that.

We recap the Nasty Boys vs. Bunkhouse Buck/Terry Funk, which is fallout from last month’s WarGames. The Stud Stable, who lost to the Rhodes Family and the Nasty Boys, beat up the Nasty Boys after the match. Therefore, it’s revenge time.

Nasty Boys vs. Bunkhouse Buck/Terry Funk

Tom Parker and Meng are here with Buck and Funk. Sags has a Jack-o-Lantern with him and I don’t see this going well. You can add in the Nasty Boys to the list of rather awesome theme songs. The Boys jump them to start and Funk is about to fight Bunk in a funny bit. That means some long form stalling on the floor as Heenan gets to praise Funk (a combination you don’t think of very often). Funk and Knobbs start things off with the latter cleaning house early on.

That means Funk can go outside and grab a chair, which is one of those things you learn to fear. Sags comes in and sits on Funk’s face, followed by the Pit Stop for a bonus. Now Funk is all ticked off and the fans are rather pleased, with Heenan comparing that to Black Lung. Bunk comes in and they be clubberin on him (Dusty helped set this up so it’s even more appropriate) as everything breaks down again.

Funk gets sent outside, hits him self in the head with a chair a bunch of times, and goes over the barricade to yell at some fans because he’s the kind of guy you can believe would go on a rampage at any time. Bunk chokes Sags with a rope on the floor and the villains take over for the first time. Everything breaks down and Buck trips Knobbs but gets caught with a foreign object. Meng pulls out his own foreign object but hits Funk by mistake, allowing Sags to hit a piledriver onto the pumpkin for the pin at 7:57.

Rating: C. I had fun with this one and that’s all they were going for. The weird part was that it felt like they were setting up a much longer match but just went to the ending. That being said, do you really want to see the Nasty Boys go fifteen minutes against Bunkhouse Buck? Funk was the star here though as he knows how to do the little things so, so well and it’s such a treat watching him do his thing. He’s one of those guys where I get something out of every match and that’s a very rare ability.

Muhammad Ali gets in the ring for a special presentation of a donation to his foundation. WCW boss Bill Shaw gives him a check and Eric Bischoff gives him a plaque. It’s so sad to see Ali in such poor health, but you can feel how special it is to see him.

Heenan rants about how Ali and Hearns never became World Champion 11 times. He’s a bit nervous you see.

WCW World Title: Ric Flair vs. Hulk Hogan

Hogan is defending in a cage with both careers on the line and Mr. T. as guest referee. Sherri and Jimmy Hart are here as well and Flair is in the awesome black and white robe (always my favorite). Flair is in red trunks, which almost guarantees a big loss (one of those things that I read once and can never unnotice it). Hogan starts fast by sending him into the corner, followed by the ten right hands. He even goes up top for some choking, which is enough for T. to yell at him.

The chop has no effect and Flair is sent into the cage a few times. Flair gets smart by going after the bad knee and we cut to Sting, with the reflection of the match being seen in his sunglasses for a cool shot. Hogan gets sent into the cage and there’s a knee drop to the head. Back up and Hogan sends him into the cage three times in a row, only to have T. yell at Hogan again.

Flair uses the breather to hit a top rope ax handle as Heenan loses it even more. A chop off goes to Hogan and they wind up on the top rope with Hogan choking on the cage some more. Flair goes to the knee again and chops away….with Hogan not having any of it. Hogan rakes the face over the cage and gets two off a belly to back suplex. It’s back to the top with Flair going into the cage again but he grabs a quick shinbreaker. Heenan: “OH BABY! Are we going to school???”

Flair starts in with his usual assortment of knee work as Heenan gets more and more excited. The Figure Four goes on in the middle of the ring (Heenan: “COUNT HIS SHOULDERS D*** IT!!!”) so Hogan gets fired up (not Hulking up just yet). The hold is turned over for the break but T. gets bumped. Flair hits a belly to back suplex and pulls T. over but there’s still no count.

Jimmy pulls Sherri off the cage (getting her skirt off in the process) so she sends him into the steps. Sting pulls Sherri down as well but here’s the masked man from underneath the ring to beat Sting up with a pipe. Sherri comes off the top of the cage with an ax handle to Hogan (that was a wild woman), who doesn’t seem to mind. Flair gets in a shot to the knee and Sherri handcuffs T. to the ropes.

With the Masked Man on the side of the cage, Hogan is rammed into the pipe and suplexed again. NOW it’s time to Hulk Up and it’s a double clothesline to Flair and Sherri. Hogan clotheslines both of them again as Sting, Hart and the Masked Man are all gone. A big boot puts Sherri down (!) and Hogan does the real Hulk Up (he didn’t really need it here), setting up the big boot to Flair. Heenan: “NOT THE LEG!!!” Hogan pulls Flair over towards T., drops the leg and retains at 19:25 to send Heenan into tears.

Rating: B+. I was expecting more of the same old Hogan/Flair stuff but they hit another level at the end there and it was rocking in the last five minutes or so. Hogan was trying hard here and it was one of the best matches I’ve seen him have in years. What matters is it felt big and that’s what they were going for. I liked this WAY better than I was expecting to and that’s always a nice feeling.

Post match Ali gets to hand Hogan the title before Hogan gets back inside for the celebration. Cue the Masked Man but Hogan catches the pipe shot and hammers away. Heenan thinks it’s Arn Anderson but it’s…..the Big Brother and the fans actually go silent. Brother begs off as Hogan is shocked, allowing Kevin Sullivan and the former Earthquake (I believe making his debut) comes in to beat Hogan down. Heenan dubs Brother the Butcher as Earthquake hits the Earthquake. Cue Sting for the save to chase everyone off.

If this had been ANYONE but Beefcake, they would have been set as this was a very hot angle to end the show. The fans were into it and Hogan sold it as well as I’ve seen him sell anything not involving Andre. Having Sting under the mask would have made it one of the best angles WCW had done in the pre-Nitro days but as it was, it was just rather good, especially after a pretty awesome main event.

A bunch of replays and a chat from the announcers, with Heenan in tears, end the show.

Roll credits.

Overall Rating: D+. Vader vs. Angel, the main event and the show closing angle did a yeoman’s work to try and save this show but my goodness that first forty minutes put them in a terrible hole. It’s not a good sign when your first three matches featured one of the worst openers ever, a match whose best part was that it wasn’t the opener, and a match nearly as bad as the opener. It’s not a bad show overall, but the stuff that is bad is VERY bad and drags down the good stuff.

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Someone requested this, but I do warn you that it’s rather old and not up to my current standards.

Halloween Havoc 1996
Date: October 27, 1996
Location: MGM Grand Garden Arena, Las Vegas, Nevada
Attendance: 10,000
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Dusty Rhodes, Tony Schiavone

The main things here are of course the NWO matches, which tonight are Hogan vs. Savage for the title and the Outsiders vs. Harlem Heat for the tag titles. Other than that there isn’t a ton here as this is a relatively unimportant show. Sting is the mystery guy now do he’s not here I don’t think. The card looks fairly good though so let’s get to it.

The opening video is about how the NWO has destroyed everyone and tonight it’s Savage’s chance. No reason is given for why he should be different or anything but then again he’s a face so it’s not like it really means anything here.

Cruiserweight Title: Dean Malenko vs. Rey Mysterio

These two have been trading the title back and forth a bit lately. Rey is champion here and Dean has one of his old masks that he ripped off of him. Song angles never get old. Dean jumps him early and we have Mike Tenay here on commentary for the sake of sanity. Mike says that without the mask Rey is done. Nah he won two world titles after that so I’d think Mike is wrong here.

Rey’s knees are both in one piece here so he’s flying all over the place and is the most exciting thing most of the fans have ever seen in their lives. We kind of stop things for a bit here so Rey can put the old mask that Dean brought with him back on. Ok then. These two had some great matches as they did the whole technician vs. high flier thing and it almost always worked. This would be one of those times that it worked.

Dean grounding him here is the right thing to do as it fits into the psychology of the match here. I can live with it when it makes sense I guess. There’s a lot of this in Doug Williams vs. Kendrick at the moment. I love that spinning backbreaker that Dean can snap off like that. They’re doing a nice slow build here and it’s working very well as Rey is going to make his comeback and it’ll be awesome more than likely.

Ah here it comes. He starts busting out all of his big flips and cool moves and they start to work, playing into the idea that as long as Dean keeps it on the mat he can beat Rey. They hit insane speed for a reversal sequence that is just awesome. Rey starts busting out the ranas so you know he’s serious now. Dean counters West Coast Pop into a powerbomb which looks great. A gutwrench powerbomb off the top gives Dean the belt back in a cool ending. He got a BIG face pop despite being a heel here. That’s odd, but ok then.

Rating: B. Solid opener here as the crowd is very awake now. They’ve had better ones but the psychology was here more than it usually is but this worked out well. Rey did his thing and Dean did his. You combine that with good chemistry and this is what you get. Good match and great opener.

Jarrett is replacing Flair in the match vs. the Giant tonight. Any guesses on how this is going to go? Jarrett cuts a decent enough promo on Giant. Again, the guy is talented and no one is questioning that. He’s just not a main event guy, period. He’s just filling in for Flair tonight so there’s no real point to the match. Flair is here too for moral support. He hurt his shoulder so he had to drop the US Title too.

Lord of the Ring: Diamond Dallas Page vs. Eddie Guerrero

Yes, AGAIN they’re fighting over a ring that was won in a battle royal that is worthless at this point. Eddie won the ring at Clash of the Champions and DDP stole it back and now says he doesn’t know where it is. Nick Patrick is refereeing in a neckbrace. This was a feud that went on for a good while but no one remembers it because it meant nothing and went nowhere. They would be in the finals of the US Title Tournament at Starrcade and that’s about it.

Dusty thinks DDP is in the NWO. I think he’s the only big name that didn’t go NWO at some point. Page is still a heel but the pops are beginning to come. He calls Eddie girlfriend for no apparent reason. I’m not entirely sure if this is supposed to be interesting or not. It kind of is but I don’t think that’s what they’re going for here. I don’t know what I mean by that either so don’t try to make sense out of it.

The referee shoves DDP down and gets two for it somehow. DDP was getting better at this time but he still had a lot of moments where he did stuff that just looked awful. We just got one of them. He would have it smoothed out in about 8 months or so for his feud with Savage which was awesome. It’s oddly surprising how boring this match is though. They’re both good workers but this just isn’t interesting me at all. After a lot more of nothing, DDP grabs Eddie’s head and hits the Diamond Cutter to get the pin. Oh and Patrick had the ring apparently. Moving on.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t bad I guess but I just couldn’t get into it at all. It just wasn’t a very interesting match at all but I’ve seen far worse. There’s a severe lack of chemistry here which is odd because they’re both good workers. Just didn’t do it for me here at all.

Savage says this is the calm before the storm. When has Savage EVER been calm? He’s going to snap into Hogan. Wow that makes me want a Slim Jim. Oh and look who the sponsor is!

We literally go straight to Dean Malenko who says he’ll fight anybody that wants a shot, including Rey. Tenay towers over him which is a weird visual.

Ted DiBiase and the Giant are in the crowd for an NWO interview. The Giant has the US Title, even though he isn’t champion. Apparently Jarrett was offered a spot and turned it down. That’s fine enough for a story. Giant tries to talk and he’s a mile ahead of his debut last year, but it’s still pretty bad.

The Giant vs. Jeff Jarrett

Dusty says some people call Jeff Jarrett the giant killer. Who in the world has ever said that? Jarrett is a country guy here but he’s not singing at least. Again, the guy is fine for stuff like this. Just don’t put him much higher. Flair is here for support and comes out to his own entrance just because he feels like it I guess. The problem was that Jarrett had two things going against him: he was a heel in WWF, and he absolutely sucks as a face. Jarrett uses hit and run tactics and has strutted three times in 60 seconds.

Heenan says this is the NEW WCW. Oh that’s funny. And now Jarrett proves why he’s an idiot by putting on a headlock. When Tony Schiavone says you’re doing something stupid, you know you’re an idiot. And then he tries a hip toss. So basically Jarrett looked smart for about 45 seconds and since then he’s looked like an idiot. We get a MASSIVE NWO chant as that’s how much Jarrett is disliked. The NWO was still pretty evil at this point and they’re getting cheered somehow.

Giant balances out the stupidity of JJ by using basic, non-power moves. Flair grabs a mic and gives Jeff a pep talk. Giant does some backbreakers. That’s about the extent of their description. Did someone think this was a good idea for a match? Jarrett was a good worker but against guys the size of the Giant there’s only so many guys that can do much with him. Jarrett hits two PERFECT dropkicks and then tries to slam him.

The problem here is apparent and to be fair this isn’t Jarrett’s fault: he can’t do much to Giant due to the size. He punches a lot and throws dropkicks but how much of a match can you have based on that? Also in a match like this it’s heavily based around building up momentum for the big face comeback. When the face is booed every time he does something though it just doesn’t work that well. Now keep in mind this was supposed to be Flair but he got hurt so they did the best they could.

Jarrett knocks him down with a high cross body but gets the strong toss off. Figure four doesn’t work and we hit the floor. Figure four out there results in Jarrett getting his throat grabbed so Flair just hits him low for the DQ. The Horsemen come out for protection. Remember Jarrett wasn’t a Horseman at this point and was just a friend of Flair’s.

Rating: D. Just not a good match here but like I said, what did you really want them to do out here? The size was just too much to deal with and the crowd HATING Jarrett didn’t help either. Also Giant was still fairly inexperienced against guys that weren’t power guys that could help carry him, so I can give him a break on that. Still just a bad match though.

DiBiase is with Vincent (Virgil) and Syxx (X-Pac/Sean Waltman). They talk way too nicely about Jericho and how they’re coming for the Cruiserweight Title.

Chris Jericho vs. Syxx

The commentators having to ignore the NWO being cheered is always funny. Patrick is the referee again which has to be leading somewhere. This is before the neck injury for Waltman so he’s incredibly fast here. The Dungeon of Doom is at ringside. This is a very fast paced match as we talk about Jericho’s dad for no apparent reason.

This is one of those matches that is hard to comment on as it’s pretty good. Waltman could go against small guys and this is no exception. It wasn’t until he because X-Pac and became the giant killer or whatever that he became so annoying. We crank it up after a good deal of Syxx dominance.

Tony and Heenan get in an argument over whether or not Nick Patrick made a fast count. Oh that’s funny. Allegedly he’s counting slow for Jericho and there may be something to that. Dusty wants him arrested. Even Heenan gets on him for being slow. Ok now you know it’s serious. Jericho gets what should have been a five or so and yells at Patrick about it. He walks into a spinkick for the regular speed pin.

Rating: B-. This was about Jericho vs. Patrick which would happen at WW3 and would be the first match where an NWO guy would lose on PPV since their inception. This was very fast paced and fun though, but the referee thing was just annoying by the end of things. Other than that it was good though.

Luger, looking like he has Dolph Ziggler’s poofy hair, says he’ll get back at Arn for something. Oh ok Arn blamed Lex for tapping at War Games and more or less said he’s a coward, setting this up.

Lex Luger vs. Arn Anderson

Is there anything sweeter than that Horsemen theme song? It’s just flat out awesome sounding. Luger is in all black here which never really looked right on him. Sting has been offered a spot in the NWO. Anderson has hurt Lex’s back recently so he’s not at 100%. This is just not interesting at all. Luger’s back is fine it seems and we’re totally just killing time here. I love Dusty’s ridiculous faith in WCW. It’s always very amusing.

The Dungeon is cheering for Luger. And now Arn’s back is hurt. Sure why not. This match is the epitome of average. Lex does some stuff then Arn does some stuff and then we switch off. It’s just two guys doing moves on each other with a bit of a flow to it. It’s not interesting in the slightest either as there’s barely a reason for them to be fighting but we’re seeing it anyway. Luger works on the back which makes sense for him so that’s fine.

A spinebuster from Arn gets us back to even to an extent as I’m just waiting on this match to end. The back injury for Luger flares up all of a sudden of course so at least the continuity of lack of continuity is there. DDT doesn’t hit as this is just nothing. I know I’ve said that a lot but it’s true. And there goes the referee of course. Arn nails Luger and knocks him into Mark Curtis in case you’re interested for some reason.

We’ll throw in a chair that does nothing as we pad this match out a bit more. The worst catapult in recorded history puts Arn kind of into the post. Lex hits some chair shots on Arn and the Rack ends it. Luger doesn’t let him go. Arn takes forever to get up and the Horsemen come out to help him. He leaves on a stretcher. I think this was what explained him being more or less retired other than the occasional match afterwards.

Rating: D. This wasn’t a particularly bad match, but it is perhaps the least interesting match I’ve seen in a good many months. It’s a good example of a match that’s just there. Two guys wrestled, nothing special happened, one guy used his finishing move to get the win. That’s all there is to it and there’s nothing special about it at all.

Harlem Heat call out the Outsiders.

Faces of Fear vs. Chris Benoit/Steve McMichael

Mongo has barely any experience at all so expect a heavy dose of Benoit here which is hardly a bad thing. If nothing else we get the music again for the Horsemen. This feud went on forever and there was never really a blowoff for it other than it just stopping. Meng and Mongo start and McMichael hides from a kick. Oh that looked bad. It’s always cool seeing Benoit’s mix of wrestling and brawling. Not a lot of people were as good at it as he was.

Mongo loses a sumo match to Meng. Is there a reason this is happening? Mongo wakes up and uses football moves to get Meng down. This works so well that Meng kicks him in the face. I love that. Whenever someone does something stupid, KICK THEM IN THE FACE. McMichael tries some dropkicks. This is a very sad sight. The match is only watchable when Benoit is in there so the tag can’t come fast enough.

In a NICE move, Meng backdrops Benoit into a powerbomb from Barbarian. It’s an awesome move, so Dusty starts talking about the Outsiders. Why you ask? It’s Dusty so this is normal for him. A double headbutt from the top hits Benoit as it’s a good thing that he’s in. Tony talks about an old rule called the One Save Rule, which says that if you save your partner more than once it’s a DQ. This rule isn’t in effect anymore and I’ve never heard of it.

Mongo pops Meng with the briefcase, thereby completely ignoring all stereotypes, and the top rope headbutt ends it. The Dungeon runs in and since the Horsemen are with Anderson at the hospital it’s Benoit vs. everyone. That only works for so long though as the Dungeon stands tall. At least there’s a feud here to explain this. Sullivan goes up to Woman and says let me show you why I’m still the man and does what we would call a punt on Benoit.

Rating: D. I know I gave the previous match the same grade but this is somewhat better. There’s a feud here which makes sense so that’s definitely a good thing. This was really bad when Mongo was in and decent when Benoit was in. Mongo always looked like he was trying, but he just didn’t ever get the hang of it. This is a great example of it.

DiBiase introduces the Outsiders.

Tag Titles: The Outsiders vs. Harlem Heat

That original NWO music is still awesome. Then again so is Harlem Heat’s. The Heat had recently lost and regained the titles from Public Enemy for a pointless reign that lasted like two weeks. The Outsiders grab the belts and hold them up to a pop. Seeing the whole rebellion against the angles is very interesting. It was clear that the fans wanted something new. WWF realized that and made Austin, the rebel character, the top guy in the company and a face. Moral: listen to the audience. They’ll never let you down.

Apparently Sherri is the quarterback of Harlem Heat. Well I wouldn’t mind seeing her in the pants I guess. Stevie knocks Hall over the top rope which they immediately explain is NOT a DQ here. Why didn’t they just drop that stupid rule? I never got a straight answer to that. Anyway, Heenan says this is the first real test for the Outsiders, because clearly fighting Luger and Sting at Hog Wild wasn’t a test right? Or Savage, Luger and Sting or any other big combination they had. I love idiotic lines like that.

The fans loudly boo Harlem Heat taking over. I feel sorry for the announcers at times and then they say something stupid enough to make me lose any and all sympathy I have for them. The Heat dominate early on which is different than what you would expect. Crowd is totally behind the Outsiders here. Hall uses a chokeslam which he used back in like 93 I think. It’s weird to think he’s been using that since Giant was in high school.

Hall kisses Sherri. Can we get a sexual harassment lawsuit from the congregation? Booker hooks a sleeper and gets booed out of the building for it. Stevie gets the hot tag and cleans house, setting up the Harlem Hangover on Hall. Parker comes in for no apparent reason at all and swings the cane at Nash. This of course doesn’t work and two cane shots from Nash to Booker give the Outsiders the tag titles.

Rating: C-. Eh nothing great here but not that bad. This is far more important for the historical aspect than anything else. The ending made sense at least and the cheating was minimal, but the heels won with nefarious activities so that’s all fine. This wasn’t terrible, but the crowd told a lot of the story here as the heels got cheered and few liked the faces.

Hogan is in the crowd where DiBiase was when he did the promos earlier and talks about his new movies. He has a blonde wig on that looks like Sting’s haircut from the old WCW days.

WCW World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Randy Savage

So basically Savage has zero chance here and everyone on the planet knows it. The Outsiders have been escorted from the building allegedly, even though Giant was also and he’s with Hogan here. They must be a bit rushed as Savage’s music starts up while Hogan’s intro is going on and they have to stop it. Savage has a massive monster truck, complete with cowboy hat on it of all things.

Savage went on a big winning streak to get the title shot and then since he was getting over again in a feud against Hogan, he stopped winning for about a month leading up to this match, hence what I said about zero chance. Savage gets a mic and wants everyone else out other than himself and Hogan. Why do I have a bad feeling that the wig is going to play a long role in this match? Giant is thrown out so it’s no longer a reenactment of Mania IV.

Hogan stalls. I mean stalls a LOT. Savage comes at him and he runs for the ropes. Hey! A headlock! Hogan looks SMALL here, maybe weighing 260. And he stalls again, heading to the floor even longer. That headlock is all we’ve had in over four minutes so far. It’s just Hogan hiding in the ropes or in the corner or on the floor the whole time. We’re entering Zbyszko land here. So Liz, who isn’t here, is signed to the NWO but loves Savage still. Got it. Well that actually is a bit intriguing at least.

Savage takes over and steals Hogan’s sunglasses. Yeah Hogan was in sunglasses and a wig for the first seven minutes or so of the match. And there goes the wig. WOW! Hogan is BALD! Why was this supposed to be a big deal? He didn’t have hair in Rocky 3 so why is this a surprise? Savage puts the wig on and this is just bad so far. Hogan busts out a chair, marking the ONLY decent thing in the whole ten minutes so far. Seriously, THIS is the main event of one of the biggest shows of the year.

Hogan kisses Savage on the top of his head and here’s Liz. Someone actually shouts GET EM LIZ! That’s very amusing. And there go Hogan’s tights ecause we all want to see that. Hogan does nothing but punch and kick and choke. Savage does those things but throws in some clotheslines too. This is one of the worst main events I can ever remember. Liz comes in to check on Savage as Hogan is going for the legdrop. Of course we can hear every word Hogan says to her as he’s on a mic.

There goes the referee and here’s Nick Patrick and then another referee at the same time. The elbow hits and Patrick gets to two before his neck starts to hurt. Savage steals an object from Hogan and nails him. Giant is back as this is beyond a mess. Chokeslam on the floor and Savage is more or less dead. Hogan is put on top and gets the pin and a face pop.

Rating: F. This was supposed to be some kind of epic showdown and it was overbooked and a comedy match that wasn’t funny. Let’s see: 5 minutes of stalling, three run-ins, a foreign object, a cheating referee, a ref bump, another ref bump, chair shots and some punching sprinkled in. Yep it’s WCW all right.

Giant brings out a bowl of ice water to wake up Hogan which is amusing for some reason. Hogan grabs a mic and says he’s the king of Hollywood and I have a bad feeling I know where this is going. Ok I do know where this is going but you get the idea. Yep, we have bagpipes. The look on Hogan’s face when Piper shows up is great.

Piper and Hogan say hi to each other and for no apparent reason Hogan and Giant are alone with Piper and do nothing but talk to him. Hogan says he and Piper used to be neck and neck for the biggest star in wrestling. Not really but this is WCW so why use facts? Piper says he’s as big an icon in wrestling as Hogan is. No, not really. He says he’s as big a movie star as Hogan is. Ok that’s true. Piper says he’s shooting here. Yes, this is Starrcade’s main event by the way.

Piper FINALLY says something very true: At Wrestlemania, they wouldn’t have been cheering for Hogan so much if they hadn’t hated Piper so much. I didn’t buy that at first but the more I’ve thought about it the more I think there’s truth in it. Piper was despised by the fans and Hogan was the guy opposing him. I know Hogan was a big deal, but it was Piper fighting Mr. T and doing the mainstream stuff. Hogan was just a wrestler fighting him. I don’t think Piper was a bigger deal, but I think equal is fine, at least for Wrestlemania and the stuff leading up to it.

Piper wants Hogan to admit that he would be nothing without the fans behind him. He also points out that Hogan has never beaten him. Piper starts to leave and Hogan makes a skirt joke. He picks up the belt as Hogan leaves and they actually keep arguing as the show goes off the air. That’s funny for some reason.

Overall Rating: D. This was bad. The opener is good but seriously did you expect anything less? Far from their best match too. Other than that there’s more or less nothing. None of the matches other than the main event are overly bad but they all have been done better or just aren’t interesting at all. Hogan vs. Piper was a cool segment to an extent, but knowing what was coming would just suck the life out of it. Oh and World War 3 is next. Great. Avoid this one.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Since everyone has already talked about Goldberg vs. Lesnar (which I’ll get to when I can wrap my head around the thing), here’s something a little lighter this week.

http://wrestlingrumors.net/kbs-review-happy-and-sad-holidays/

Halloween Havoc 2000
Date: October 29, 2000
Location: MGM Grand Garden Arena, Las Vegas, Nevada
Attendance: 7,582
Commentators: Stevie Ray, Tony Schiavone, Mark Madden

It’s at least a double main event tonight and you could argue a triple with Kronik vs. Goldberg, Sting vs. Jeff Jarrett and Booker T. defending the World Title against Scott Steiner. After that though the card falls off a cliff and hits every single rock on the way down. Let’s get to it.

We open with the fans being polled about the handicap match. Well to be fair that’s cheaper and safer than asking the announcers what they think.

The regular opening video focuses on how everyone needs to overcome their fears.

Tony: “This is sports entertainment!”

Tag Team Titles: Boogie Knights vs. Rey Mysterio/Kidman vs. Sean O’Haire/Mark Jindrak

O’Haire and Jindrak are defending after losing to both teams in recent weeks. The Thrillers come out second for no logical reason but I’m sure it’s supposed to draw money or humble them or something. The ring has the Backstage Assault (WCW video game sponsoring the show) logos in each corner. Konnan is on commentary as Alex, Mark and Kidman are in to start. I’ve always liked that three men in at once rule in WCW.

Kidman headscissors Mark down and hits a nice dropkick before it’s off to Rey, whose Bronco Buster hits a raised boot. Disco comes in and dances but Jindrak springboards in so high that Disco has to take a step back before Jindrak hits him. O’Haire throws Rey into the air for a powerslam (cool spot) so Disco helps double team him down, only to start fighting with Rey over the cover. Kidman comes in and elbows Disco instead of O’Haire, only to have Wright dropkick Kidman for two.

The fans stay on Disco as Wright knees Jindrak in the arm for two (well done camera guys). The yet to be named Tower of Doom freaks Stevie out as Wright is planted for a double two count. Konnan is already getting on my nerves with his Natural Born Cranberries line and we get a triple tag to bring in Rey, Disco and O’Haire. Everything breaks down and Kidman takes the double beal over the top from the floor.

O’Haire throws Rey over the top into a belly to belly from Wright for two. The Animals take over for a bit and Wright takes a Kid Crusher but the champs make a save. Wright runs into Rey and falls over the top anyway, leaving Disco to Last Dance Jindrak. Stevie sounds like he’s doing a JR impression for reasons that aren’t clear, only to have O’Haire hit the Seanton Bomb for the pin on Disco to retain.

Rating: B-. This was a lot of fun as they just let all six of them go nuts for ten minutes to fire up the crowd. I like the idea of a hot opener and given that they probably don’t have much left on the show worth much until the last three matches, this was a good choice to have early on the card.

Post match Wright beats down the Animals with a chair so Konnan comes in, drawing in Sgt. AWOL for the save for absolutely no logical reason. Konnan looks hurt and comes up limping.

Hardcore Title: Reno vs. Sgt. AWOL

AWOL is challenging so he sets up a table in between matches. Reno hits him with a kendo stick but takes a boot to the face (totally missed), only to flapjack AWOL through the table for two. Madden says old school hardcore rules are in effect: pinfalls count anywhere and anything goes. That would be different than the new rules of start in the back and end in the ring. So there are two eras for a title not even a year old?

A trashcan shot to the head gets two on AWOL as I have flashbacks to him being invincible just about a year ago. AWOL comes back by putting a trashcan over Reno’s head before kicking the can rather hard. Not the part with Reno inside of course because that might mean something looks good in this match.

AWOL and Stevie Ray do a Too Sweet for some reason before the guys walk up the aisle. A Roll of the Dice on the ramp knocks AWOL silly but let’s set up two tables instead of covering. As expected, AWOL gets up and throws Reno through both tables (or at least most of them). That’s not enough for a cover either so they head backstage with AWOL throwing a computer monitor at Reno’s head. Ignore the picture on the monitor that isn’t plugged in because this is OLD SCHOOL HARDCORE, meaning technology doesn’t have to make sense.

The champ blasts him with a fire extinguisher and throws AWOL through another table, only to have AWOL throw him onto another table. Madden makes jokes about the internet ruining wrestling as AWOL hits him with the monitor again. AWOL hits agent Fit Finlay and Madden gets in what sounds like an inside joke that makes no sense unless you were probably in catering that day. Back to ringside and AWOL loads up another table, only to walk into Roll of the Dice to retain Reno’s title.

Rating: D-. WAY too long here as I was begging for this to be over nearly halfway through. This gimmick is so beyond dead and now the match is getting nearly eleven minutes (third longest match of the night) on a card with ten other matches. Who is this supposed to appeal to? I hit you with some object, we do a table spot, repeat five times? That’s the best they’ve got?

Post match the Perfect Event comes out and beats on AWOL, drawing out Lieutenant Loco and Corporal Cajun to give us a very lame reaction.

Shane Douglas talks to the Thrillers and tells them that Nash has put him in charge of the team tonight. Nash can’t even show up on pay per views now?

Apparently Goldberg was injured when he hit the post on Thunder. He isn’t here yet but that’s commonplace in WCW.

Kronik talks to the Nevada State Wrestling Commission and mentions Goldberg having a head/neck injury.

Lieutenant Loco/Corporal Cajun vs. Perfect Event

This is an impromptu match but luckily the Thrillers were already in their gear. Why Loco and Cajun had to go to the back and come back out isn’t clear. Stasiak gets beaten down to start and you can see people getting out of their chairs. It’s also clear that the cameras aren’t panning over to the side because there are A LOT of empty seats that keep sneaking into view.

Things settle down to Stasiak beating on Loco before it’s off to Palumbo. The announcers argue over how together the Perfect Event is, despite the fact that they’re not even the best team in their own stable. Palumbo charges into Cajun’s raised boot as I have no idea why this match is taking place on pay per view. Was a ten match card really not enough? A double flapjack puts Loco down as Stevie thinks Madden called Loco “Chubby Toes.”

Stasiak gets two off a sitout powerbomb (Tony: “Out of the Coach Kevin Nash playbook!”) as the announcers talk about how many saves you’re allowed to make in tag team wrestling. Apparently there used to be a limit on that. You would think that some company like Ring of Honor might have brought that back over the years. Loco somehow spins out of a press slam and it’s off to Cajun with the hot tag.

Palumbo makes the save so Stasiak can get two and the fans are put right back in their seats. Well the fans that are still in the arena at least. A sleeper makes things even worse but Cajun fights out….and is put in another sleeper. Well Palumbo’s hand is over Cajun’s eyes so it’s more like a one man game of Peek-A-Boo. Cajun escapes again and runs him over for the tag to Loco but the fans aren’t bothering to get fired up this time. Everything breaks down and Loco gives Stasiak a quick tornado DDT for the pin.

Rating: C-. Well that happened. It was a watchable match that I’m going to forget about inside of the next ten minutes and really only served to further the “Stasiak is a screwup” story, which isn’t interesting in the first place because IT’S SHAWN STASIAK. You could have easily cut this from the show and given the time to other matches and given how fast the fans were leaving, there’s probably something to that idea.

Konnan is hurt but is willing to go fight anyway.

Torrie Wilson/Shane Douglas vs. Konnan/Tygress

You can see Stasiak and Palumbo leaving the ring as Shane’s entrance comes on. Torrie is in a Wonder Woman swimsuit and the announcers trip over each others tongues to oogle her. Before the match, Shane laughs at Konnan’s injuries and offers Tygress a chance to come out here and get beaten up. Or sexually assaulted if you pay attention to what he says.

Tygress fights on her own to start by kicking Shane low, setting up a HORRIBLE sequence between the women. Shane breaks up the Bronco Buster as the announcers talk about Torrie’s stockings. A double Franchiser is loaded up but Konnan comes in through the crowd for no apparent reason for the save. His back is fine enough to clothesline both of them down and we get a horrible looking double baseball slide as everything heads outside.

It settles down into a regular match and Tony freaks out when Tygress grabs a wristlock on Shane. Torrie tries to make a save and has no idea what to do (makes sense) so Shane takes over on Tygress to save himself. It’s off to Torrie for a really awkward looking run across the ring (with no complaints from the announcers), followed by a camel clutch from Shane.

Off to a crossface chickenwing with Shane putting her hand near his crotch (and shouting something about “make me feel good baby”) until Tygress escapes and crawls over for a hot tag to Konnan. Everything breaks down and Torrie pulls the referee into the path of a Bronco Buster for the comedy spot of the match. Torrie gives Konnan a decent Franchiser for two but the good team gives Shane a double facebuster for the pin.

Rating: D-. Other than Torrie in that outfit, this did not need to be on pay per view. This needed to be about five minutes shorter and on Nitro, mainly because I have no idea why this match even took place. Something about who is the best couple, but isn’t Tygress with Rey? They made it clear that this was all about looking at Torrie but there are other ways to do that without wasting over ten minutes of pay per view time.

Again the camera immediately cuts away to the next interview. What’s up with them wanting to get away from Tygress and Torrie so fast? Anyway David Flair and his doctors (they have stethoscopes and stuff) are ready to prove that Buff is a lying piece of garbage.

Buff Bagwell vs. David Flair

This is a DNA match and we’re still waiting on a definition of what that is. Madden: “Tony what are the rules of a DNA match?” Hey thanks Mark. It means First Blood, though I don’t think the fans have actually been told that otherwise. Before the match, Buff promises that he’ll win. You can add that to the long list of things that could have been cut from this show.

Buff punches David down to start and scores with a swinging neckbreaker. All Buff so far as this is a total squash since David still isn’t much of a wrestler. David does the Flair Flip in the corner but gets slammed down just like his daddy. Buff rips the shirt off and makes him do a double bicep pose, allowing David to kick him low for his first advantage. Outside they go but Buff can’t get a piledriver on the exposed concrete because that might kill him.

Your comment of the show that sums up how stupid this whole thing is: Tony: “David trying to bust Buff open and get a DNA sample!” Just imagine a non-fan hearing that one line and see how they react. Anyway they get back in and David tries a chair, only to get hit low and hit with the chair instead. David is busted open so the match is over but since the wrestlers don’t seem to know how the match works, Buff gives him a Blockbuster anyway.

Rating: D-. This was a squash and another match that didn’t need to be on a pay per view. The DNA story is interesting enough but does anyone really care about David Flair? Buff would be a better person in this role, especially since Ric has barely been a factor in it most of the time. At least we got to see David beat up his mailman though. That’s something right?

Post match Lex Luger of all people comes out to celebrate with Buff and turn on him a full two seconds later. Luger posts Buff and busts open his lip, allowing David to get a sample. Boy that’s convenient.

Goldberg, looking a bit shaky, arrives. Thank goodness they made sure to fix that cliffhanger that started half an hour ago.

Scott Steiner and Midajah aren’t worried about Goldberg. Steiner promises to win the title.

The Cat vs. Mike Sanders

This is a kickboxing match for the Commissionership with three rounds lasting two minutes each. Both guys get to run their mouths to start and still nothing of note is said. Palumbo and Stasiak (fine again) are in Sanders’ corner as Madden thinks this is a karate match. They feel each other out for a bit until Cat kicks him in the head for an eight count. A legsweep drops Sanders and they lock up with about ten seconds to go to end the round.

Cat beats on him with ease for a knockdown and Sanders barely beats the count. Another punch drops Mike again but the Perfect Event argues over whether or not to throw in the towel. Mike says throw it in but somehow beats the count to end the round. This has been completely one sided so far and Cat has barely broken a sweat.

Stasiak and Palumbo get in a fight during the break but here’s Shane Douglas for some reason. The referee is outside yelling at the Thrillers as Cat beats up Sanders even more. Cat gets in a good looking cartwheel kick and Sanders doesn’t want to get up. With Mike kind of on his feet, Cat hammers away even more. To his credit though, he’s able to shout “GET THE CHAIN MAN!” to Douglas, who knocks Cat out with a chain a few seconds later.

The slowest ten count ever (the referee is at five with twenty seconds left and gets to nine with three seconds left) allows the Cat to get up just in time and the match continues. Cat knocks Sanders out again but goes to the floor to fight Shane, giving Mike a countout win. In overtime. In a kickboxing match. To be a wrestling commissioner. Which he already was.

Rating: F. There’s a difference between this kind of stuff and the kind of stuff you would see under full Russo control. While that stuff was really more about shock value and being as stupid as possible, this was a match where you knew everything that was going to happen from the second Shane came out (save for maybe the stupid countout ending). It’s still really bad either way but at least this had some great facial expressions from Sanders. Of course this was horrible but it’s not like the two of them could have a much better wrestling match.

Goldberg talks to the wrestling commissioners and says he’s fine from Monday. The injury was on Wednesday’s show but it was taped on Monday so I’m not sure if I can call that a botch or not.

Kronik gives Goldberg until the end of the night because they get paid either way.

Mike Awesome vs. Vampiro

Add this to the list of things that doesn’t really need to be on pay per view. Not the match that is but Mike as That 70s Guy. This is over Awesome beating Vampiro down a few weeks back so Vampiro is here for revenge. Odd heel motivation but whatever. Vampiro wants to put Awesome’s title shot on the line as well. Now that’s more like a heel. Mike says groovy. Well actually he says that’s fine but he should have said groovy.

Vampiro is knocked to the floor to start and a big plancha takes him down again. That never stops looking awesome. The brawl heads into the crowd despite there being regular rules for this one. Vampiro grabs a cane from someone and beats on Awesome, only to have the guy hit Awesome, who beats him down as a result. Well that was a bad moment.

Back in and they duel with chairs like samurai warriors according to Tony. I’d love to meet Tony’s history teacher if he thinks samurai’s fought with folding metal chairs. Vampiro gets the better of it and takes over with a release belly to belly superplex that almost had a horrible landing. Back in and Vampiro tries a top rope seated senton but Mike seems to counter into a sitout powerbomb. Well I think so at least because it looked kind of like a counter and kind of like Awesome fell backwards. Mike covered for two so we’ll go with horribly executed counter.

Instead it’s time for a table and even Stevie thinks there’s something wrong with this. The Nail in the Coffin gets no cover so let’s bring in another table. Madden: “There’s always room for jello and there’s always room for another table.” I saw Ghostbusters II first so I smiled at that line more than I should have. They head outside for an Awesome Bomb on the floor…for two? Are we having a second match where they don’t know the rules? Vampiro is up fast enough to break up the Awesome Splash. Instead it’s a Super Awesome Bomb to give Mike the pin and give us that sweet 70s music.

Rating: D. They had something there with the big spots but that doesn’t really work if the spots don’t actually work. Awesome and Vampiro were trying but there’s only so much you can do when the match is barely looking like a match and turns more into a trainwreck. It also didn’t help that they beat up a fan in the crowd. You know that whole assault thing.

General Rection gives a fired up promo talking about how he’s lost so much over the last few months but he’s here for one more fight.

Vampiro is being checked on by the trainers and gets a round of applause when he sits up. Tony shows us a replay and calls it one of the most amazing spots you’ll ever see. Who in the world is going to care if you call it a move? As usual it comes off like WCW trying to make themselves look smarter and forgetting that a lot of fans don’t care.

US Title: General Rection vs. Lance Storm/Jim Duggan

Storm is defending in a handicap match and goes on a rant about how Rection won’t just accept that he’s been beaten. Duggan argues with the referee over who gets to keep the board before locking up with Rection and brawling around the ring. Rection clears the ring with clotheslines before no selling Storm’s chops in the corner.

There’s a backdrop to send Lance outside but Duggan knocks Rection outside as well to take over for the first time. Stevie: “Tony, why do they call her Major Gunns?” The bad guys take over with Duggan elbowing him down to give Storm two. A superkick gets another delayed near fall but Duggan’s Three Point Clothesline is turned into a double clothesline to put both guys down.

Storm slaps on a sleeper and Stevie actually compares it to the one from the Perfect Event match. Who would have thought Stevie would be the best analyst between Tony and Mar…..this isn’t all that surprising actually. Canadian miscommunication gives Rection an opening and he powerslams Storm for one.

Duggan hits his partner by mistake again before the referee drops down as Lance runs the ropes. He does it a second time and then we get the ref bump because we needed a ref bump. Duggan piledrives Rection for no count so here’s Elix Skipper, who is quickly taken down by a flag shot from Gunns. Back in and a Russian legsweep to Duggan with the 2×4 (clearly not making any contact) is enough to set up the No Laughing Matter to give Rection the title.

Rating: D. I appreciate them trying to keep Storm strong but was this really the best idea they could come up with? Rection isn’t really the most interesting guy in the world but at least it fits the story they’ve built up for months. In a good company this would free Storm up for a main event run but you know WCW isn’t bright enough to pull that off.

Mayhem ad centered entirely around Scott Steiner.

Jarrett is ready for Sting.

We recap Jarrett vs. Sting which is over Jarrett claiming Sting has no heart. For some reason this resulted in him dressing up as Sting and mimicking him, which only served to tick Sting off and set up a big fight here. On paper, this should be a layup.

Sting vs. Jeff Jarrett

Jeff goes around the ring running his mouth so Sting jumps him from behind to start things fast. They get inside with Sting hitting an atomic drop….and here comes Surfer Sting. The real Sting (Sting Prime?) beats him up as Madden wonders if you can get disqualified for beating yourself up. Fair question….I think? Sting and Jarrett fight by the stage and then into the crowd so here’s 1990 Sting to get beaten up as well. The real Sting gives him a Death Drop on the stage as Jarrett stands in the ring.

Back in and here’s Wolfpac Sting (possibly played by Chris Harris) as we skip eight years or so. For some reason Sting takes him up to the stage for some bat shots and another Death Drop. Jeff hits him in the neck/shoulder with the bat as the referee checks on Wolfpac Sting. Back in and Jeff puts on a sleeper, probably giving us the highlight of the match. Sting fights up and makes his comeback as Crow Sting breaks through the mat and pulls Sting under.

That earns Crow another beatdown but the lights go out and Crow Sting II repels from the ceiling. Sting gives him a Death Drop through the table to knock the wig off and reveal a bald spot. Back in and Sting puts on the Scorpion, only to have Crow Sting I hit him with the guitar. That’s no sold (why not at this point) and Crow I gets a Death Drop, followed by the guitar shot from Jeff for the pin.

Rating: T. For There it is. I had heard about how horrible this show was going to be. This match started roughly two hours in and while it was bad, there have been worse. Then there it was. There’s the big moment that turns this into horrible. WCW spent weeks building up a three match show and one of them involved Sting fighting the demons of his past because Jarrett apparently hired a bunch of guys to dress up like Sting and interfere at timed intervals.

Normally I would go into a big rant about why this is stupid but it’s up there with Mae Young giving birth to a hand or David Flair beating up a mailman on the list of things that speak for themselves. With WCW in the position they’re in, they have no business screwing over the fans on one of the only matches that was almost guaranteed to be well done. I mean, it wasn’t going to be a classic or anything but if you have Sting and Jarrett doing a mostly straight match, it’s going to be fine.

Instead of a match though, which is something the fans might be interested in based on how Russo’s TV ratings died over the summer, the company did some insane spectacle that might have made sense to three people in the building. The story of Sting needing to show heart is fine and Sting is the kind of guy who can pull that off but instead we get this mess with everyone being confused and annoyed. How this benefits anyone is beyond me but at least I have a reason to hate this show even more now.

Stevie Ray doesn’t help things here by talking about how Sting came up short after fighting off all those odds. As in an army of Sting clones is the same as Jimmy Hart distracting a referee.

Booker T. is ready for Steiner.

We recap Steiner vs. Booker T., which is basically Steiner going insane and attacking Booker.

WCW World Title: Booker T. vs. Scott Steiner

Steiner is challenging after beating Goldberg last month. Booker comes out first and Tony talks about the World Title not being on last tonight. Before he comes out, Steiner chokes an agent for the title match not going on last. I can get behind that. Booker gets the fans clapping to start things off so Steiner backs him into the corner and gets in an elbow to the jaw. Booker’s forearm sends Steiner out to the floor, allowing Scott to jump the barricade and yell at a fan.

Back in and Booker gets beaten down, only to come back with a clothesline for two. They head into the crowd because Steiner and Booker T. won’t wrestle for some reason. Steiner throws Booker through the second announcers’ table and chokes the referee for only counting to two. There’s the top rope Samoan drop to set up some push-ups but Booker leapfrogs over Scott to take it back outside. That goes nowhere so Booker starts with the kicks, including a missile dropkick and ax kick for two each. It’s time for the pipe though as Steiner beats down Booker and the referee, drawing the lame DQ.

Rating: D. The match wasn’t even that good before the lame ending which made things even worse. We’re 0-2 on the three main events and this was the best of them so far. There’s an idea here with Steiner being too hot headed to win the title but it would have helped if they had done a good match before getting here. Booker’s comeback was nice but they needed something better than this after all the other stuff they’ve done tonight.

Jeff Jarrett has to come out and help calm Steiner down.

We recap the main event which is basically Goldberg is dominant and Kronik are big and strong. Go have a four minute match to wrap up this pay per view.

Goldberg vs. Kronik

Before the match (because giving it more time would be stupid), Adams says Goldberg is too hurt to wrestle so the referee needs to count. We cut to the back where the Wrestling Commission guys announce that Goldberg is cleared. Goldberg’s music hits with six minutes left in the show and the bell rings with just over four to go. They brawl to the floor because this is nothing resembling a wrestling match. Kronik takes over but loads up a table, only to have Goldberg knock Adams away and spear Clark through the table for a pin. Adams gets two off a full nelson slam and it’s the spear and Jackhammer to keep Goldberg around.

Rating: F. That’s you main event people: Goldberg doing the same old thing he’s done for over three years now over a team who was losing the titles to Vampiro and Great Muta a few months back. There’s nothing to talk about here and the fact that this went on last due to some injury angle that started and ended in the same night sums up this horrible show.

Overall Rating: F. Oh yeah this failed and it failed bad. There’s a good opening match where they let the wrestlers go out and do something fun but the rest is one failed idea after another. However, the key word there is idea and that’s what keeps this show above some of Russo’s disasters: you can see the thinking behind a lot of these matches. Notice that I said thinking behind and not that they actually worked.

That’s the problem here: they were trying something in most of the matches and then each of those ideas came crashing down, mainly because the wrestlers just aren’t all that good these days. I mean, Cat and Sanders are good talkers for WCW but it’s really hard to watch them do something goofy when I can flip on Raw and watch Austin, Rock and Jericho talk to people and then tear the house down with almost anyone they get in the ring with.

WCW is in a bad place right now and so much of that is due to all the turmoil from the last few months. They’re in a better place with some storylines starting to make sense and some promising young talent but you can’t come off one of the worst stretches in wrestling history and then bounce back to life like nothing ever happened. The fans, at least the ones that are left, aren’t buying it and I can’t blame them.

Look at the build for this show. WCW made it clear that this was going to be a three match card with everything else filling in the gaps. Goldberg vs. Kronik would have been lame as a Thunder main event and it closed the show. Booker vs. Steiner was the most acceptable of the three despite it being nothing more than sequel bait. The less said about Sting vs. Jarrett the better.

If I’m one of the few fans still watching and paying for WCW, why in the world am I going to keep going after this show, save for pure habit? Three big matches were promised and the best one under delivered. If that’s the best they can do at this point then they can’t close the doors fast enough. The worst part for me though is that this was somehow still better than a lot of what Russo had done earlier in the year. Those lats summer and early fall shows really were that bad, though this was getting close to their level.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of the Intercontinental Title at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Halloween Havoc 1999
Date: October 24, 1999
Location: MGM Garden Arena, Las Vegas, Nevada
Attendance: 8,464
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone

The Russo Era is officially upon us as we got a big time preview this past Monday. However, this show is the real thing with Russo getting to direct where things go from here. Expect to see a lot more pointless talking, a lot more insanity and a lot more shouting about what I did to deserve this. Let’s get to it.

The opening video focuses on Sid vs. Goldberg and mentions the whole “Goldberg can’t touch him” bit, which has basically been ignored. Hogan vs. Sting gets even less hype.

A LOUD Weasel chant is ignored by Heenan as Tony announces that due to Rey Mysterio being injured, the Filthy Animals have been stripped of the Tag Team Titles. The solution? A triple threat hardcore title match for the belts with Kidman substituting for Mysterio. Well why bother having a match when you can just make it hardcore? They run down the rest of the card in case you bought the show blind.

The big demon holding the pumpkin set is back. That thing is so cool looking and deserves to be on a better show.

Cruiserweight Title: Disco Inferno vs. Lash Leroux

Lash is challenging so Disco starts fast with a clothesline and stomps in the corner. A DDT plants Leroux again and it’s time for choking. Lash comes back with a dropkick and slam for two. Totally basic stuff so far. Some Cajun dancing sets up a clothesline for two more as Heenan suggests holding ropes of trunks.

They head outside with Disco sending him into the steps, only to get caught in a nice belly to belly back inside. It’s a bad sign when fans are already going for popcorn in the opening match. Or did people even show up for those seats in the first place? Lash puts on a chinlock in a rare move for a good guy, which might explain why it doesn’t go anywhere.

The Last Dance (or is it still the Chartbuster?) is countered into a backbreaker but Disco escapes Whiplash (which Tony didn’t seem to recognize) as well. The swinging neckbreaker gets two for Disco and Heenan again wants trunks pulled. Lash lifts him up for something like a sitout ProtoBomb (Tony: “THAT’S HIS MOVE!” No Tony, it isn’t.”) for his closest near fall yet but the Last Dance retains the title a few seconds later.

Rating: D+. The wrestling was acceptable but this was a horrible choice for an opener. An opening match is supposed to get the fans into the rest of the show. Instead this was just a basic match with almost no high flying or exciting moments, making it completely against the idea of a standard cruiserweight match. It didn’t help that Lash pretty much got squashed here and never even had major control. Just an odd choice and nothing interesting.

Post match Lash hits Whiplash (Tony: “THAT’S HIS MOVE!”) on the belt. What a jerk. They might as well turn Disco face as he’s pretty over with the fans.

Malenko and Benoit arrived earlier in the day (because they work here) and run into Saturn. He hasn’t heard from them lately, but Dean and Chris are done with the Revolution. In other words, after months of building up the Revolution and then feeding them to the First Family and Sid, we’re likely in for a feud between the members, making the entire team as close to a waste of time as you can get.

Harlem Heat is ready to survive the Tag Team Title match tonight because that’s what they’ve done their whole lives. Stevie doesn’t want those no talent fruit booties to forget it.

Tag Team Titles: Kidman/Konnan vs. Harlem Heat vs. Brian Knobbs/Hugh Morrus

The titles are vacant coming in. Penzer: “This match will be fought under street fight rules!” Heenan: “Oh no.” The First Family wears Halloween masks to the ring. Kidman and Konnan on the other hand wear the title belts to the ring despite Kidman never winning one. Kidman has a camera with him as well. The First Family has weapons with them for an early advantage and there are two referees here. You can see the screwiness from a mile away.

Booker throws Brian into the fans and Stevie nails Kidman in the head with a trashcan. All six get back in to make my life easier with Morrus nailing Kidman with a clothesline for two, thanks to Kidman grabbing the ropes. Stop having that rule in hardcore matches. Falls count anywhere should include in the ropes. Booker goes after Jimmy Hart and gets blasted with a trashcan. That doesn’t interest him enough to sell though so Harlem Heat double team Knobbs and throw him through a Styrofoam casket.

Morrus drops Kidman ribs first onto an open chair (ow) as Knobbs and Booker fight into the back. It’s table time in the ring as Knobbs hits Booker with a water jug. For some reason, Tony finds this funny. No Laughing Matter puts Konnan through the table but in the back, Booker hits Knobbs with a mummy for a fast counted pin and the titles before Morrus can pin Konnan.

Rating: D-. So to recap, this is likely setting up Harlem Heat vs. the First Family again, meaning we’re right back to where we were about a week ago. The match was your standard messy WWF hardcore match with gimmicky weapons and no semblance of wrestling in the slightest. In other words, Russo thought it was great and the novelty is going to wear off quick. Or make me want to watch Road Dogg vs. Al Snow who were better at these things.

As Harlem Heat comes back in we hear a three count and a bell, which apparently was Kidman pinning Morrus. How that came about after the No Laughing Matter isn’t clear because we needed to watch Harlem Heat walking from the back. Why is Russo so obsessed with watching people walk through the back? It took up like ten minutes on Nitro and now it screws up the result of a match. I mean…..IT’S WALKING. You still see this stuff to this day on Raw and Impact and I still don’t get it.

Also Konnan might have injured his collarbone. Oh good. He can still walk in the back. Mysterio and Torrie (who really, really agrees with the Filthy Animals look) come out to stare from the entrance.

The Flairs storm into the arena with Ric holding a crowbar.

Here are Diamond Dallas Page and Kimberly for our first talking segment of the show. Kimberly says fourteen times, which isn’t the amount of times Flair won that stupid belt. That’s the number of times Ric spanked her recently, but when she and Page are together, that’s just a warmup. This would be the pointless sexual part of the show.

Page hates Flair and promises that Ric will never forget him. Kimberly invited David Flair to her room in an obvious swerve (Page’s words) and Ric showed up, but can only spank her? Page has Flair’s spank, and guess where he points. Page: “Let’s whack it, and let’s jack it all night long.” Before this takes a VERY weird turn, Page wants to make the match tonight a strap match. This is another of those ideas which really didn’t need to happen and all the innuendo got old in a hurry, like almost every Russo idea actually.

Goldberg is looking for Sid.

Kidman and Torrie tell Eddie that they’ll have his back tonight. Eddie thinks he should call Rey on the way to the hospital. Guerrero is wearing a Rolex, which he probably stole from Ric on Monday.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Perry Saturn

Eddie lets Heenan hold the watch for some reason. They dive around each other to start until Saturn grabs a hot shot for two. Back up and Eddie throws him to the floor and then into the barricade. The lack of extended selling continues as Saturn gets two off a pop up powerbomb. Heenan wants the number of a 24 hour pawn shop while Saturn cranks on an armbar.

Off to a cross armbreaker followed by a chicken wing with a headscissors (cool looking move). That goes nowhere so Eddie dropkicks Saturn for two, only to walk into a t-bone suplex. Saturn switches up the target by going after the knee with a variety of leg locks. Eddie grabs a wristlock on the mat before going with a short arm scissors. The lifting counter slam and a Lionsault get two for Saturn but Eddie brainbusters him back down.

The frog splash misses though and Saturn hits a springboard dropkick. Eddie goes up but gets crotched with a superkick to the knee, allowing Saturn to superplex him down. They head up top again with Eddie reversing Splash Mountain (Razor’s Edge bomb) into a superplex, but here’s Ric Flair with a crowbar to knock Eddie out for the DQ. Why do I have a feeling that’s the closest we’ll get to a regular match with a regular ending all night long?

Rating: C. The match was pretty dull but they were getting going when we got to the stupid ending. I’m so glad we set this stupid angle up on Monday and Flair was so angry that he waited eleven minutes before coming down to break it up. As usual though, this was about the angle instead of the wrestling, which makes the match we got seem like a waste of time.

Kidman and Torrie come out so Flair blasts Kidman with the bar and kisses Torrie. She doesn’t seem to mind that much. I have zero issue looking at Torrie more tonight. Ric comes back to remember the story and gets his watch back.

We cut away from the replay to see Goldberg punching Sid. Security breaks them up and Sid is a bloody mess. Heenan: “He looks like he took 50 tomatoes to the face.” Potatoes more than likely.

Here’s Buff Bagwell for another talking segment. He has a problem with the two new writers from up north who are here to save WCW. Oh geez here we go. He also has a problem with Jeff Jarrett because Buff isn’t on the show tonight. The line doesn’t make any more sense in context. Bagwell tells Heenan to get Jeff out here but Jeff is here because Buff even turns to talk to Bobby.

The fight is on with Buff a face again and fired up after being uninterested on Monday. That’s another story we’re not going to reference again isn’t it? Jeff starts to get the better of it so Luger comes out for the save, only to hit Buff with the guitar by mistake. I guess this is due to Liz being knocked out with a guitar next to her. I still think she did it to herself.

Sid is getting stitched up and throws the cameras out.

An injured Eddie calls Rey and tells him to get back to the arena. Isn’t Rey injured?

Brad Armstrong vs. Berlyn

Naturally Brad wears an American flag shirt to the ring. They lock up to start with Berlyn cartwheeling out of a wristlock. Berlyn suplexes Brad down as Tony reads off a sweepstakes result. A pop up powerbomb gets two on Armstrong followed by some stomps. The dull match continues with Berlyn hitting him in the corner as Tony talks about ANYTHING but this match. Brad grabs the rope to counter the neckbreaker and quickly covers Berlyn for the pin. It’s as sudden as it sounds.

Rating: F. This was on pay per view, meaning it’s a failure by definition. Somehow this was the best they could have done as they kept it short but this really could have been done on TV for the same result. Dull match and the Berlyn push thankfully is done. He never got a fair shake though, after the Duggan match last month and then this mess.

The bodyguard and Berlyn lay out Armstrong post match.

Flair says he has his watch back and is ready to fight the Animals anytime. He brings up the spanking again, which is becoming a thinner and thinner veil for what they really want to say but can’t on TV. Torrie got some of Flair tonight so Kimberly is up next.

TV Title: Chris Benoit vs. Rick Steiner

Benoit is defending after beating Steiner for the title the night after Fall Brawl. Steiner immediately heads to the floor, just after Tony says that wouldn’t happen in this match. I can always get a chuckle out of Tony being wrong. We play keep away for a bit until Rick nails him coming back in. A huge Steiner Line nails Benoit and Rick hits his backdrop powerslam for two. Tony calls this power wrestling, which I guess is the new definition for “we won’t fire this guy so sit through this awful stuff.”

Rick goes up but Benoit grabs a superplex, which Steiner isn’t even polite enough to sell for more than about four seconds. The threat of the Crossface sends them back to the floor with Steiner sending him into the barricade to take over again. Rick screws up the timing coming out of the corner (I’m shocked too), meaning he has to intentionally walk into a dropkick for two. It looked horrible but that really shouldn’t surprise anyone at this point.

A low blow puts Benoit down because Rick doesn’t know how to wrestle a match to get control. Off to a lame leg lock which doesn’t seem like it would be very painful, but it lets Rick take a break after this grueling six minutes of work. Benoit misses another dropkick so Rick rubs his face into the mat. An attempt at a sunset flip counter to a powerbomb goes badly as well with Rick not even leaning back to be taken over, leaving Benoit to crash to the mat instead.

Benoit gets one off a small package but stays on the mat instead of getting up so Rick can’t botch anything else. Instead Rick just hits him in the back of the head and puts him in the reverse Tree of Woe. Rick hits some release German suplexes for two with Benoit just crashing harder and harder each time. The fans aren’t pleased until Benoit counters a suplex into a DDT to get a breather.

Benoit chops away in the corner and rolls some Germans. Tony: “THIS IS A CLASSIC!” The referee eats an elbow to the face so Steiner brings in a chair. Benoit hits a suplex and does a Van Daminator with a right hand instead of a kick. He loads up the Swan Dive but Steiner throws the chair at him on the way down. Cue Malenko to SHOCKINGLY turn on Benoit by nailing him with the chair, giving Steiner the pin and the title because SCREW WCW AND THEIR LOVE FOR RICK FREAKING STEINER.

Rating: D. There’s only so much Benoit can do when he’s in a mess like this. Rick beat Benoit up for twelve minutes and Benoit was barely ever on offense. What is Benoit supposed to do in something like this? On top of that, let’s mess up the Revolution and get rid of their most popular and successful member for the sake of a SWERVE. Maybe this gets Benoit on to something bigger, but my goodness, couldn’t he drop the TV Title to…..oh I don’t know…..SATURN OR MALENKO?

Saturn and Malenko hug in the aisle. Saturn: “Hi Shane.” Heenan: “DOUGLAS COULD BE BEHIND THIS!” Because Shane Douglas gets to come in and be some mastermind I guess.

Bret still has an injured ankle and shouldn’t be wrestling tonight. Luger may have cost him the World Title last week, but this week he’s going to be excellently executed. This was the first logical and well done segment of the night and it lasted all of 45 seconds.

Total Package vs. Bret Hart

Bret goes right after him to start and takes Luger outside to send him into the announcers’ table. Tony: “This is a very hard table!” Back in and Bret rakes the eyes across the ropes and chokes in the corner as this has been completely one sided so far. They head outside again with Bret ramming him into various objects, only to go after Elizabeth. Eh I can’t blame him with her in that dress.

Luger’s cheap shot fails and Bret sends him into the barricade and back inside. Luger finally goes to the eyes to take over but Bret hits him in the back to regain control. We hit the Five Moves of Doom but Luger breaks the Sharpshooter with another thumb to the eye. They fall out to the floor and Bret is holding his ankle again. Back in and Luger wraps the leg around the ropes before putting on a half crab for the submission. Seriously.

Rating: D. Luger’s entire offense for this match: two pokes to the eye, a right hand, a kick to the leg, bending the leg around the rope and the half crab. This is one of those matches where all of the premises don’t add up to the conclusion. Bret having a bad leg coming in and selling it throughout is fine, but my goodness. LEX LUGER just made Bret tap to something other than the Torture Rack on pay per view. Just…..think before you do things WCW. Please?

Goldberg promises to separate Sid’s head from his body.

Here’s Madusa in a swimsuit to shill Nitro cologne. She gets on the announcers’ table and pours it over Heenan, swears about the Powers That Be, and leaves. Apparently it smells horrible. Tony: “I love my job.” This has been a moment.

We recap Sting vs. Hogan. Sting turned heel to win the title last month at Fall Brawl because WCW is stupid, and tonight is the rematch.

WCW World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Sting

Hulk doesn’t come out at first, Sting comes out, Hogan eventually comes out in street clothes (I don’t want to know what street) and lays down for the pin in three seconds. That would be Hogan’s last match until February. Any guesses as to how much of an explanation we get on this idiocy?

We’re on a Goldberg vs. Sid video before Hogan is even out of the ring and the first part is covered by Sting music. They mention the Goldberg can’t touch him bit and don’t bother explaining. At one point the video cuts back to the crowd because WCW is run by a bunch of stupid monkeys. The fans are booing this out of the building and can you blame them?

US Title: Sid Vicious vs. Goldberg

Sid is still a bit bloody from earlier in the night. Hall and Nash jump Goldberg during the entrance, further making me wonder why he has six state troopers flanking him. Is it in case one of the boys takes a shot at him in the back? Sid jumps Goldberg in the aisle and the brawl (this won’t be a match) is on. Goldberg shrugs it off and drops Sid over the barricade.

The referee stops things so Sid can blade again but Sid comes up swinging. It really seems like they’re trying to make Sid out to be a face here. A big boot drops Goldberg and we hit a camel clutch. Goldberg does an impressive power up into an electric chair drop for two and cranks on the neck. The blood is just flowing out of Sid’s head. They slug it out even more with Sid getting weaker from the blood loss. Tony: “This is the darnedest thing I’ve ever seen.” Is it Tony? Is it the darnedest? Goldberg hammers him even more in the corner and Sid falls to his knees to make the referee stop it.

Rating: D+. The blood looked great but if they’re trying to do the Austin turn at Wrestlemania XIII (note that Goldberg didn’t turn here and wrestled like he always does), they’re really missing the point. I’m not going to care about Sid after all those months of destroying cruiserweights and not selling for Benoit because he had a great cut in a seven minute match and didn’t even get pinned. Try again WCW, because this isn’t going to work.

Rick Steiner helps Sid to the back. Do you want him to be a face or not? To be fair it wasn’t really clear, but Sid wanting to walk out on his own and wanting to fight Goldberg again looked like a face move to me.

Heenan tries to say Sid’s streak is intact to keep up the stupid story.

We look at Ric and Kimberly in the hotel on Monday. This comes off as an excuse to see Kimberly in lingerie. That’s not a complaint by the way.

Here’s Sting to say he came here for a fight, so if anyone wants a shot at the belt later tonight, come get him.

Ric Flair vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Strap match with the two of them tied together and wins coming by pin or submission. Just bring the Filthy Animals out now to get this over with. Page hides on the floor to start before they trade shots in the corner. They head outside with Page being pulled into the post before going up the aisle and into the crowd. Page nails him in the back with the strap but Flair chops him back.

To ringside again with Flair kissing Kimberly. He’s had a good night so far. Page hammers away and busts Flair open, though it’s not as good as Sid’s cut. They slug it out for a good while before Page takes him to the announcers’ table for a whipping. Back in and Flair hits him low to take over again, followed by more chops and a second low blow. They’re really not trying anything special here.

The knee drop misses Page’s head as is the custom and it’s time to go for the leg. Flair wraps the strap around Page’s throat and puts on the Figure Four, only to have Page make the ropes. Now it’s Page hitting him low a few times to take over, setting up the Diamond Cutter for….the finish but not a pin. It’s a weird ending as Robinson counts twice, Flair moves his foot a bit, and Robinson stops before three but calls for the bell anyway. I think Flair was supposed to get his foot on the ropes but didn’t make it.

Rating: D+. This might have been the second best match of the night, but some of that might have been due to how much time it got. The strap really didn’t add much and this could have been any given regular match but I guess they wanted to tie it into the spanking idea. I’ll give you a minute to think about Page and Flair spanking each other.

Page nails the referee and chokes Flair with the strap, only to have Kimberly stop David’s interference. She hits David low and hands Page the crowbar to nail Ric in the ribs and between the legs. David is thrown in as well for a Diamond Cutter as medics come in to help the Flairs. The Filthy Animals jump out of the ambulance to jump Ric. I really don’t see why Mysterio was injured but this gives me another excuse to look at Torrie so whatever.

Sting vs. ???

We have less than nine minutes to go in the show counting entrances. Answering the challenge: Goldberg, because screw Starrcade and drawing money and all that. No US Title with him of course. Tony says this is non-title despite Sting issuing a challenge for a title shot. Sting heads outside before the bell but actually has a point: there’s no referee. Cue Charles Robinson with no injuries from the previous match for the opening bell with less than six minutes to go in the show.

Goldberg kicks away in the corner and hits an awkward clothesline. They head outside with Goldberg in full control and sending Sting into the barricade for about the millionth time tonight. Goldberg clotheslines the post, allowing Sting to hit the top rope splash for two. Sting spears Goldberg down but Goldberg pops to his feet and kicks him in the face. The real spear hits the buckle, setting up three straight Stinger Splashes. That goes nowhere and it’s spear and Jackhammer for the pin in just over three minutes.

Rating: C. This was actually entertaining while it lasted but my goodness they just wasted their guaranteed Starrcade main event for a three minute match. But hey, at least it was surprising! No one knew it was coming and there was no way to make extra money off the match but at least it shocking.

Goldberg is handed the belt and announced as the new champion. Tony thinks there might have been some confusion but I’ll chalk it up to Tony being stupid. Goldberg leaves so Sting yells at the referee about it not being a title match. Robinson gets a Death Drop to end the show. So let me get this straight: Sid might be a face and Sting is a heel. What kind of bizarre world have I stumbled into?

Overall Rating: D-. Yet somehow, I didn’t hate this. I don’t know if it was just the show being far less dull than their recent disasters (namely Fall Brawl) or it actually being WAY tighter than Monday’s nightmare, but I didn’t hate this show. Now that being said, this show is still a disaster, wasting all kinds of potential money and throwing stuff at the screen with the hopes that something sticks, but it could have been worse.

Keeping these acts short was the best thing they could have done, as it keeps the fans from getting too insulted by what they’re sitting through. It’s a horrible show for sure, but there’s something about it that I kind of liked. Granted that might have just been Kimberly and Torrie looking great on multiple occasions but the show was such a switch over the messes I’ve been sitting through that it was hard to hate.

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Halloween Havoc 1998
Date: October 25, 1998
Location: MGM Grand Garden Arena, Las Vegas, Nevada
Attendance: 10,663
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan

We’re FINALLY here after six weeks of buildup. It’s a double main event with Warrior and Hogan in the battle for Hollywood’s sanity and ego as well as Diamond Dallas Page challenging Goldberg for the World Title. However the show is remembered far more for something that had nothing to do with the wrestling. Let’s get to it.

The opening video hypes up the big matches on tonight’s card with the overly dramatic music playing in the background. This really is a stacked card.

The set looks AWESOME with a giant demon holding an inflated pumpkin with the Halloween Havoc logo. WCW always did nail their sets unlike today where you’re lucky to get a few props.

The announcers hype up the double main event. By this I mean they mention Goldberg vs. Page in one sentence and then talk about Hogan vs. Warrior for two minutes. Thankfully Tenay actually talks about the World Title match and how different Page and Goldberg’s paths have been to get here.

We open with the Nitro Girls in the ring. Since most of you probably know what’s coming, I’m going to keep track of the time being wasted on segments like this. The ongoing total will be listed in parentheses at the end of each segment. (1:10)

Tony lists off three matches added: Disco vs. Juvy with the winner getting a title shot later in the night and Raven challenging for the TV Title.

Gene brings out Rick Steiner for a chat as we wait on the first match. Rick says this isn’t brother vs. brother tonight because he sees Scott as just another opponent. Buff Bagwell comes out sans NWO gear to say he’s had a real change of heart. Everyone is sick of Scott Steiner and he knows the NWO doesn’t work one on one. Therefore, Buff should be in Rick’s corner tonight and he barks to prove his loyalty. Rick doesn’t know if he can trust Buff but goes along with it anyway. (4:37)

TV Title: Raven vs. Chris Jericho

This could be good. Side note: I’m watching this on the WWE Network (praise be its name) and Break the Walls Down is swapped in for Jericho’s WCW theme. My head snapped up when I heard that instead of his regular song. Raven complains about his losing streak and asks What About Me.

He went to bed at 11am this morning and then arrived at the arena to find out he’s in an unscheduled match. Well he doesn’t feel like wrestling tonight so he gets up and leaves. Jericho doesn’t want to wrestle either but all of the Jericholics are here to see him because Jericho equals buyrates and rock and roll. He was really looking forward to facing an icon like the leader of the Flock, but there wouldn’t be much of a challenge because Raven is a LOSER. That’s enough to get Raven inside for the opening bell, nearly thirteen minutes into the show.

Jericho jumps him coming in and whips Raven with his leather jacket, setting up the arrogant cover for two. Raven gets his hands on Jericho and they fall over the top and out to the floor. Jericho gets suplexed ribs first onto the steps and comes up holding his knee. A dropkick off the steps puts the champion down again. Jericho: “HELP ME!” Back in and Jericho hits a quick Stun Gun before the springboard dropkick sends Raven into the barricade.

Chris follows him out with a dive but Raven steps aside and Jericho goes head first into the barricade as well. It’s Raven’s turn now as Jericho whips him into the steel again before they head back inside. Raven bites Jericho’s face before throwing on a quickly broken sleeper. Jericho hits a backsplash and takes the turnbuckle pad off but Raven blocks the whip into the corner. A standing hurricanrana is countered into a powerbomb by Raven before he catapults Jericho face first into the buckle for two.

Jericho is oddly unharmed by being sent face first into steel but Raven catches him in a belly to belly for two. Back up and Jericho sweeps the legs to put on the Liontamer. Raven is quickly in the ropes and hits the Even Flow out of nowhere for two. A low blow lets Chris hit a German suplex for another close two as Kanyon runs out and gets on the apron. Jericho immediately knocks him off and reverses another Even Flow attempt into the Liontamer for the quick submission.

Rating: B+. Why does no one bring this up as a great match for either guy? They meshed the hardcore and wrestling stuff together here and got a great match as a result. Jericho was wrestling like a face here for the most part and it worked just as well as his awesome heel run. The announcers played up how Raven has been submitting so quickly after passing out from the Crossface with a smile earlier in the year. Nice touch of continuity to go with a great match.

Here are Hogan (in an NWO Nitro t-shirt) and Eric Bischoff with a goatee and haircut. Before the actual promo starts, Hogan says he beat up everyone in wrestling because he loves Eric so much. Eric is always asked what he admires the most about Hollywood. Since there’s so much, it’s that he represents the family values of this millennium.

Hogan says he could be long winded out here but he knows the NWOites all love him and worship the ground he walks on. He goes on about how he attacked Horace to prove a point and we get clips because just talking about it isn’t enough. Hogan says he went a bit too far but it was drawing a line on what it meant to be an NWOite. Tonight, Warrior will know exactly what it’s all about and he’ll get beaten up real bad for life. Since that’s not enough, Hogan spends another minute talking into the camera as the music plays. (10:07)

Meng vs. Wrath

The fight starts on the floor with Wrath sending Meng into the steps and taking him down with the flip dive off the apron. They head inside with Wrath getting two off a middle rope clothesline. Meng rolls forward to escape the Meltdown and the Kick of Fear gets two. A gutbuster gets the same but Wrath comes back with knees to the ribs in the corner. Meng gets two more off a belly to back suplex but misses the Death Grip. A Rock Bottom is good for two on Meng before the Meltdown gets the pin for Wrath.

Rating: D+. The match was a decent power brawl and it gets Wrath a his biggest win to date. They’re actually building him up strong and it’s very nice to see for a change. You would think putting the TV Title on him would make sense as Jericho doesn’t need it and the US Title simply wasn’t happening for Wrath at this point.

Kidman is ready to face either Guerrera or Disco Inferno tonight. I won’t count this as a waste of time because it was like fifteen seconds long.

Disco Inferno vs. Juventud Guerrera

Winner gets a Cruiserweight Title shot against Kidman later tonight. Disco stomps away in the corner to start but grabs a side slam for two. Juvy lands a LOUD chop to take over and does some quick dancing of his own. Guerrero tries the backflip out of a Fameasser position but just falls to the side. A second attempt at a Fameasser works a bit better and Disco gets monkey flipped over the top. Juyy baseball slides into a headscissors and both guys go down for a few seconds.

Back in and Disco takes over with an atomic drop and clothesline before stopping to dance instead of cover. We hit the chinlock with no cranking on it at all before Juvy slides to the apron to take Disco down with a Stunner. Disco heads outside again and turns his back on Guerrera, allowing him to be taken out by a nice plancha. They head inside again and Disco grabs a swinging neckbreaker but lays on the mat instead of covering.

Disco counters a sunset flip with a right hand but stops for a Macarena. He busts out a giant swing of all things but dizzies himself. It doesn’t turn out all that badly though as he falls head first onto Juvy’s groin. Referee: “Juvy are you ok?” All three announcers: “NO HE’S NOT OK!” Disco takes forever to get up top so Juvy can nip up and grab a top rope hurricanrana. Now it’s Juvy on top with a spinwheel kick (his hip hit Disco so Tony’s “flying body attack” description is more accurate) for two and the sitout bulldog gets the same. Juvy loads up a victory roll but Disco shoves him off and nails the jumping piledriver for the pin.

Rating: B-. Shockingly good match here with Disco wrestling a normal style against the high flier in Guerrera. I’ll give Disco this: he turned a ridiculous gimmick into a successful career and had some solid matches throughout. That jumping piledriver looked great as well and made things even better.

Nitro Girls again, this time with hats and chairs. Kimberly’s complete lack of emotion is more disturbing than anything else. (11:05)

Here’s Scott Steiner with something to say. He’s been going for thirty days with a freak on his left, a freak on his right and one in a box. Big Poppa Pump is in town and ready to pound so here’s a catchphrase. He beat up Buff in front of his brother, so why not make this match interesting tonight, and have Buff/Rick vs. Giant/Scott? We’ll make it even more interesting and make it for the World Tag Team Titles. Giant comes out and agrees.

JJ comes out and asks if they’re serious. If they’re willing to do so, let’s make it even MORE interesting: if the titles change hands, Rick gets to face Scott in a fifteen minute match. You know, LIKE THEY ALREADY ADVERTISED. Scott says deal. This makes potentially five matches added to the card already tonight. (15:42)

Fit Finlay vs. Alex Wright

Heaven forbid we don’t see this match again after they fought on Nitro two weeks ago (and again this coming week on Thunder). Finlay drives him into the corner to start as the announcers immediately start talking about Hogan vs. Warrior. Wright does three straight nip ups and climbs the corner to escape a wristlock. I guess just spinning Finlay’s arm around was too passe for a European. They trade European uppercuts with Wright taking over and stomping away as the boring chants start up about two minutes in.

A catapult into the bottom rope has Finlay in trouble but he comes back with a catapult of his own, sending Wright chest first into the ropes so he falls back onto Finlay’s knees. They head outside with Wright taking over and slamming Finlay onto the floor. Finlay comes back by dropping Wright’s throat across the barricade out of a fireman’s carry. Back inside and they tumble right back down again. Wright comes back inside and misses a missile dropkick. Finlay’s charge hits the post and Alex hits a neckbreaker for the pin.

Rating: C. The match was fine but this was already done on Nitro and the story isn’t interesting in the first place. Wright has won most of the matches between the participants so far and it hasn’t really done anything for anyone involved. This is a good example of a match that just didn’t need to be on the PPV.

Ernest Miller talks about being great on WCW.com but Lee Marshall points out that all his nicknames are already taken. Kidman at least had a match tonight. (16:42)

Lodi vs. Saturn

This is added match #5. December to Dismember only added four. Lodi has little pieces of chains on his trunks which jingle every time Saturn does anything. Wait stop the match! SOMEONE IS TAKING LODI’S SIGNS! Thankfully Lodi gets out of the ring and chases the guy down, demanding that he leave the signs at ringside. Back in and Saturn takes him down with a leg sweep, sending Lodi to the floor again. Lodi has to save his signs again and tries to leave but Saturn throws him back in and destroys him with the usual, setting up the Death Valley Driver for the pin.

Rating: D. It’s a comedy match which is the only way you could do a Lodi vs. Saturn match. That being said, what was the point in adding this to the card? To give the audience a breather from between the big matches that could be on Thunder and whatever comes next? At least Saturn got to look dominant.

The announcers talk about what’s coming. We also get a recap video of the Bagwell vs. Scott feud, which at least sets up a match later so I’ll count it as mattering.

Nitro Girls, looking very nice in leather pants and cut off tops. (19:00)

Cruiserweight Title: Kidman vs. Disco Inferno

Disco is challenging and is quickly dropkicked down to the corner. A drop toehold sets up an armbar from the champion before he just stomps a mudhole on Disco. Kidman gets a bit too cocky though and gets sent throat first into the ropes, followed by a neckbreaker for two. Disco tosses him outside but Kidman climbs up the steps for a bulldog down to the floor. Back in and the champion misses a top rope splash to give Inferno a two count.

We hit the chinlock on Kidman but he quickly gets up and hits a hard clothesline. Disco avoids a charge in the corner and stomps Kidman down before talking a lot of trash. A middle rope elbow misses after Disco wastes too much time dancing. He’s able to avoid a dropkick though and hit the jumping piledriver for a delayed two count. Kidman reveres a suplex but can’t hit his bulldog out of the corner. Instead it’s Disco getting two off a gordbuster but taking too much time trying the Macarena Driver. Kidman counters with a faceplant and the Shooting Star retains the title.

Rating: B-. Not as good as the Guerrera match but it still worked quite well. Kidman was awesome at this point and could have a good match with anyone (except Scott Hall of course) as the division is really getting awesome again. Thankfully the LWO wasn’t a part of this as it just isn’t catching my interest so far.

Konnan’s music video (edited off the Network). (21:30)

Tag Titles: Scott Steiner/Giant vs. Rick Steiner/Buff Bagwell

Hall and Giant are the real champions but it’s NWO Rules. The rules state that if the NWO loses, Rick and Scott will face each other for fifteen minutes. Not in a fifteen minute time limit match, but for fifteen minutes. Bagwell is in street clothes. We stall a bit more before the bell, but Tony is immediately plugging Bride of Chucky as soon as the bell rings. Giant chops Rick in the corner to start and Scott says stay on him instead of making a tag.

After a few belly to back suplexes it’s off to Scott with some forearms to the back as Buff plays cheerleader on the apron. Scott stays on him for a few moments before he gets caught with an atomic drop. A Steiner Line (not a lariat Tenay) puts Scott down and it’s off to Buff who of course turns on Rick because THAT’S WHAT BUFF BAGWELL DOES. Seriously, it’s all he’s done for most of this year. It’s like the bad movie sequel when they’re just doing the same plot again but this time it’s the same people.

Buff runs off to make it a handicap match as Scott kicks his brother low. The fans LOUDLY call this bull as Giant comes in and stands on Rick’s chest. The beating keeps going with a slam from the Giant as the announcers speculate about Judy Bagwell being in on this. Back to Scott as Rick fights back but gets stopped by another low blow. Tony says the WCW rules committee needs to look at that move. Wait so it’s not a DQ already? Giant goes up for a missile dropkick of all things (looked good too) but lays out Scott by mistake. Rick hits the top rope bulldog for the pin and the titles because oh why not.

Rating: D. Do I really need to explain this one? The match wasn’t entertaining and the swerve surprised no one, but the announcers of course treat it like some award winning performance. What’s the point in having a setup and the swerve in the span of an hour and a half? I know WCW thinks its fans are stupid but come on. But hey, at least we have WACKY Tag Team Champions now.

Rick Steiner vs. Scott Steiner

Scott tries to run and Giant is still down in the ring. Rick brings Scott back to the ring but has to run from Giant. Scott gets sent into the steps and begs off in the ring but Rick pops him in the mouth. Rick gets a boot up in the corner and drives him upside down into the corner for one. Another low blow puts Scott in control again and the crowd just dies. After some choking, Scott gets caught in a belly to belly for two. And now we have Buff Bagwell in a Bill Clinton mask (I don’t get it either) with the slap jack to knock Rick and the referee silly for the DQ.

Actually scratch that as the match just keeps going despite the bell. Buff puts Scott on top of Rick and picks up the referee’s hand for the count. Rick kicks out at two as Scott hits the Frankensteiner out of the corner for another two count. Buff throws the referee to the floor but Rick comes back and hits the bulldog on Scott as Nick Patrick slides in for the pin. Buff: “ANYBODY SEEN MONICA???” Seriously what was up with the Clinton stuff?

Rating: F. JUST LET THE STEINERS HAVE A MATCH!!! Why is that such a horrible idea? There’s a built in story and it would probably be an entertaining power match, but for some reason WCW keeps dragging it out longer and longer until no one is going to care anymore. And again, WHAT WAS WITH THE BILL CLINTON STUFF??? Yes I know he was on trial around this time, but why is Buff in a Clinton mask supposed to be funny?

We recap Hall vs. Nash. These guys split up at Slamboree in May and they’re having their first match five months later. Somehow that puts the Steiners to shame. Hall turned on him because he needed money which Hogan and Bischoff were willing to give him. It’s a lame story but it’s better than nothing.

Scott Hall vs. Kevin Nash

Hall comes out with a cup in hand as Tony gives us a disclaimer about Hall needing help. Scott throws the drink in Nash’s eyes and hammers away to start, knocking Nash out to the floor. Scott chokes him with a camera cable and blasts Nash with a big right hand while still wearing the vest. It’s time for a mid match promo as Scott asks how the world looks through foggy eyes.

Back inside with Hall hammering away even more, dropping Nash with a series of right hands. A discus punch sets up the crotch chop as a loud Wolfpack chant starts up. Nash doesn’t feel like taking the Outsider’s Edge this early so he makes his comeback with the right hands and side slam before collapsing from exhaustion. They slug it out from their knees, which would have more impact if we were over five minutes into the match.

It’s Nash up first but Hall bails to the floor to avoid a Jackknife attempt. Hall comes back in for some more punches before driving in the shoulder blocks. Nash fires back with some right hands and the running crotch attack against the ropes. Some knees in the corner have Hall in trouble and the framed elbow knocks him down. Nash drives in knees in the other corner while asking Hall if he wants another drink. Hall’s punches have no effect at all so it’s a big boot, pull of the straps and two powerbombs before Nash walks out on the match.

Rating: D. It wasn’t exactly good, but after watching whatever the Steiners thing was, this was a masterpiece. At least it was a match and had a story with Nash just wanting to beat some sense into Hall instead of beating him. Why is that so hard for Rick and Scott to do? Anyway, not a great match, but there was something here at least.

Nitro Girls, now in rainbow colored wigs. (22:30)

US Title: Sting vs. Bret Hart

Bret turned on Sting a few weeks back after turning on him a few months back for reasons still not explained. Sting is challenging and sits in the ring with the bat as Bret circles around on the floor. The chase is quickly on outside but they’re nice enough to come in for the bell. Bret immediately heads outside again but Sting finally tosses him inside to get going. He rains down right hands in the corner and hits an atomic drop for two.

Bret fights out of the corner with right hands and headbutts followed by a DDT for two more. A legdrop gets two for the champion and an elbow gets the same. This match is almost in slow motion. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Bret stomps on the chest. Bret misses a dropkick and Sting tries the Scorpion to wake the crowd up but Bret is in the ropes before it goes on. Sting hammers away and ducks a leapfrog but Bret injures his knee. Somehow Sting falls for it and Bret loads up a foreign object. A clothesline knocks it out of his hand but the referee takes it from Sting, allowing Bret to get in a low blow.

The Five Moves of Doom have Sting in trouble and Bret throws him outside. Back in and Sting accidentally nails the referee with an elbow but Bret drops a very intentional leg to keep him down. Bret kicks Sting low again (what is with all these low blows tonight???) but Sting crotches him on the top for a superplex. Everyone is out but Sting hits a Stinger Splash, only to knock himself out on the post. Bret hits him with the bat about five times, including once to the throat, before putting on the Sharpshooter for the TKO win.

Rating: D. This was long and boring with nothing a stupid ending. Sting is probably going on the shelf now as the Wolfpack takes yet another hit. Bret winning with the bat is out of character for him, but then again so is being this bored in the ring. There’s nothing here again and the match was really slow and dull.

Sting goes out on a stretcher after a long time.

Hollywood Hogan vs. Warrior

Here we go everyone. This has been called the worst match of all time and I’m curious to see how bad it really is. Hogan says he can kill the Warrior and then threatens to murder the bum. Warrior tells Hogan to get in the ring and immediately drills him with a right hand at the bell. Hogan takes over with a knee to the ribs and shots to the back before putting on a wristlock. Warrior counters into one of his own, sending Hollywood bailing to the floor.

Hogan refuses to do the test of strength and takes Warrior into the corner. Now he’ll do the test with Warrior in trouble and we get the recreation of the famous sequence. Warrior keeps trying to fight up but Hogan switches to another wristlock, setting up the criss cross so Hogan can slam Warrior down. It’s not sold at all but Hogan is kind enough to sell for Warrior’s slam A clothesline puts Hogan over the top and out to the floor where Warrior rams him into the barricade.

Back in and the referee gets bumped with Hogan kneeing him in the head as well. Hogan runs Warrior over and calls in the Giant who accidentally kicks Hogan in the head. Warrior knocks Giant, Vincent and Stevie Ray to the floor but gets caught by a belly to back suplex for two. We get the workout belt whipping followed by one of the more impressive screwups I can ever remember. You know the spot where a heel drops elbows but the other guy keeps rolling away? They try that here but Warrior rolls the wrong way and knocks Hogan over. IT’S LEFT AND RIGHT FOR CRYING OUT LOUD.

Anyway Warrior misses the splash (zero reaction) but comes back with a right hand and hits him with the workout belt. The referee yells at Warrior so Hogan pulls out a magic kit. It’s a plastic bag with some paper and a lighter inside which is supposed to be used to make a fireball but Hogan can’t get it to work and throws the paper at Warrior before some of it lights up between the two of them. Thank goodness Warrior doesn’t sell it and hammers away on Hogan.

A top rope ax handle (with Warrior’s hands coming apart about 10 inches before making contact and lightly grazing Hogan’s shoulders but somehow busting Hogan open. There’s ANOTHER low blow and the legdrop (still no reaction) before Horace comes out with a chair. Hollywood misses another legdrop and Warrior fires off some clotheslines as Bischoff distracts the referee. Horace hits Warrior with the chair to give Hogan the pin and soothe his fragile ego.

Rating: F. Oh yeah it’s bad and it’s not even in a funny way. This is bad in a pitiful way and doesn’t get any better at all. Ignoring the traditional illogical turn at the end by Horace (Hogan said something about passing a test), this was a long and horrible match with no one looking good.

The original idea with the fireball was for Warrior to make a big blind comeback which even Hulk has said was a bad idea in retrospect. This was much more embarrassing than anything else with Warrior showing how he had nothing at all anymore and that Hogan was just a joke anymore in the ring. I think everything that can be said about this match has been said at one point or another so I’ll leave it at that.

The Hogans pour lighter fluid on Warrior but Doug Dillinger stops the matches from being thrown.

It would be about 10:59 at this point but it’s World Title time.

WCW World Title: Goldberg vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Let’s stop it here for a second because this is where it all fell apart. See, WCW decided that this show should be extra long and asked the PPV companies to give them an extra thirty minutes. Unfortunately this was 1998 and not that simple, so a lot of feeds went off somewhere between the end of the Warrior vs. Hogan match and the start of the title match. Yeah WCW gave them some advance notice, but that doesn’t put WCW in the clear. If you look at this show, they EASILY could have cut nearly an hour out but WCW just couldn’t let that happen.

Overall the show ran roughly three hours and twenty minutes, so cutting out say 25 minutes would have made this fit the time slot. As I mentioned, we had over 22 minutes of segments that weren’t needed or Nitro Girls (certainly not worthless but not necessary). On top of that there was the Juvy vs. Disco match, Wrath vs. Meng, Finlay vs. Wright, Saturn vs. Lodi and the Tag Title match which all could have been on free TV instead of here. WCW never advertised the show as running longer than usual as far as I know so it’s not like the fans would feel ripped off.

It comes off as a combination of stupidity and somewhat arrogance as the company just figured their plan would work and they just HAD to be bigger than WWF. What did most of the stuff they added here help? What does a Saturn vs. Lodi comedy match (probably six minutes with entrances and a post match replay) do to help the card? It ticked off the fans and cost them a lot of money, but at least they got the Buff Bagwell swerve and a Konnan music video on PPV.

And now, the match. Page’s music is edited on the Network. Page charges right at him a few times and is easily shoved away. An armdrag frustrates Goldberg and they lock up before falling to the floor without breaking it up. Back in and Page tries a legsweep but Goldberg does a standing backflip to avoid it. Men his size should not be able to do that. A bad looking cross armbreaker has Page in trouble and Goldberg shoves him out of the ring to block the Diamond Cutter.

Back in and Page takes him down into a hammerlock but a hard shoulder block puts him on the floor. Page is able to snap Goldberg’s throat across the top rope and he follows up with a swinging neckbreaker. A Russian legsweep gets two and we hit a front facelock. Goldberg knees his way out of it and hits a spinning neckbreaker to put Page down. A hard hiptoss puts Page down and a side slam gets two for the champion. Back to the cross armbreaker but Page makes the rope.

A superkick sends Page flying but he sidesteps the spear, sending Goldberg hard into the post. Page gets two off a flying clothesline and the running DDT puts the champion down as well. He calls for the Diamond Cutter but Goldberg nails him with the spear. It injures his arm though and Goldberg can’t get the Jackhammer. Page slips behind him and grabs the Diamond Cutter but both guys are down. The fans are suddenly WAY into this as Page gets a very close two. Page tries a suplex of his own but Goldberg counters into the Jackhammer to retain the title.

Rating: B. It’s not a masterpiece but it’s definitely Goldberg’s best match ever. The fans were buying into Page as a threat at the end of the match and that’s more than can be said about the vast majority of Goldberg’s opponents. To put it simply, this was a good wrestling match. You can’t often say that about a WCW main event but that’s what you had here.

Goldberg helps Page up post match and poses to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. Oh my where do I start? As is almost always the case, a good effort by lower card is wasted by most of the main event stuff. Look at the World Title match for an example. It’s the only good main event match on the show, but it’s the third thing people remember after Hogan vs. Warrior and the feed cutting out. Those things overshadow good efforts by guys like Jericho, Raven and even Disco Inferno.

On top of that, look at how much of the card was announced the night of the show. That’s common with some nothing matches, but there were three title matches announced during the show. I’m not saying one of them would have been enough to sell a PPV, but I’d certainly think Raven vs. Jericho, a Tag Team Title match and a Cruiserweight Title match in addition to everything else already advertised might have sold a few extra shows. But again, they just don’t mention it and add it on here.

This should have been a huge night for WCW but it turned into one of the moments they’re remembered for in a bad way. The card was one of the most stacked lineups I can ever remember WCW having but it’s remembered for two huge failures more than anything else. It’s still definitely a good show with the opener, main event and cruiserweight stuff outweighing the three bad main event matches (Hall vs. Nash is bad but not terrible) but the bad is really hard to ignore.

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Halloween Havoc 2000
Date: October 29, 2000
Location: MGM Grand Garden Arena, Las Vegas, Nevada
Attendance: 7,582
Commentators: Stevie Ray, Tony Schiavone, Mark Madden

We’re in the dying days of the company here as with so few shows to go there’s really no reason for me to not finish these off. Goldberg is face again after that disaster of a heel turn for him. It’s more or less a double main event tonight with him vs. Kronik. The idea is that he has to break his original winning streak to get a title shot or he retires. The other match is Booker vs. Steiner for the title. Yeah not much has changed. Let’s get to it.

Wow that announce team scares me to death. For some reason Stevie got a big push late in WCW’s run and became a commentator. No one is really sure why.

Pamela (GORGEOUS) asks some fans if Goldberg wins or loses. They’re split.

Standard IT’S HALLOWEEN promo starts us off. Sting vs. Jarrett is a big match too apparently. Oh it’s that show isn’t it. This show has one of the dumbest matches I’ve ever seen so we need to get into this before I stab myself over that.

Tony says this is in fact SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT. I give up.

Tag Titles: Boogie Knights vs. Rey Mysterio/Billy Kidman vs. Natural Born Thrillers

Boogie Knights are Disco and Alex Wright and the Thrillers are Mark Jindrak and Sean and Mark O’Haire and have the belts here. There was some weird deal where the Knights won the belts but Mike Sanders decided the title change didn’t count and gave them the belts back. There are advertisements at every corner of the ring. WCW’s latest horrible video game (no wrestling in the ring, just in the back) is the sponsor. Nice to see how well the sponsorship deals are going isn’t it?

Wright, Kidman and Jindrak start us off. That’s what I always liked about WCW triple threats: they had triple threats instead of three team tag matches. Alex allegedly has the most experience. Not quite but in WCW he did I guess. Bronco Buster misses and here’s Disco. I forgot Konnan was there until he said something about Shane Douglas. It’s a big WZ Preunion here.

Everyone keeps working to beat up the Thrillers. In a nice move, Disco sets up Sean to allow Kidman to come off with the Shooting Star but instead he jumps at Disco with a back elbow in a thinking move. Wright gets a lot of praise here which is weird. You could tell he was one of those guys that they wanted to do something with but they never quite could do it.

We get a Tower of Doom spot as I’m getting into this triple threat tag match formula. Rey, Sean and Disco come in. Sean has a dime dropped on him and Disco takes a modified seated senton for two each. Sean’s knee may be hurt. The Thrillers use one of their signature awesome spots where they pick up Rey for what looks like a double hip toss and throw him from the floor over the top rope and into the ring. That was awesome looking.

They do the same to Kidman but Wright catches him in mid air in a belly to belly for two. This is getting awesome fast. Big plancha by Alex to take out Disco and Jindrak. Let the cruiserweights loose as the big dives begin. Kid Crusher on Wright (Unprettier/Killswitch) gets two. Top rope rana by Rey to Disco is followed by a Bronco Buster.

Last Dance (Stunner) by Disco gets two as Rey drops a dime on Disco to break it up but it allows O’Haire to hit the Seanton (yes I spelled that right) Bomb to end it. Imagine a guy Orton’s size doing a Swanton and imagine how awesome it would look. Wright beats up Rey afterwards and Konnan tries to save. He gets beaten down also but Sgt. AWOL (member of the MIA) comes in for the save. Konnan can’t stand up.

Rating: B. This was FUN. You had six relatively young guys out there just having fun in a fast paced tag match. It’s a great choice for an opener and I got very into it. This was WCW’s problem though: this is pretty much going to be the match of the night and the crowd is going to decline as we continue. Very fun opener though and I liked it a lot.

AWOL has a hardcore title match next so he just hangs out and sets up a table. WCW guys come out and attach trash cans full of weapons to the posts.

Hardcore Title: Reno vs. Sergeant AWOL

I liked Reno so this should be bad anyway. Reno brings a kendo stick and pops Wall (his old name) with it so Wall kicks him in the face then goes through a table. Uh sure. We have NEW Hardcore rules here which are now falls count anywhere and anything goes. Back in the day the matches had to start in the back and end in the ring. WCW managed to make a video game out of that concept. Yeah they were dead at this point.

Just a basic weapons match at this point with no one really caring. See what I meant about the quality going down? Wall puts the trashcan over Reno’s head and kicks the can into the railing. That looked painful but after looking at it for about two seconds you can see he missed Reno completely. And now he does it again just because he can. Wall and Stevie do the Too Sweet hand gesture for zero explained reason.

They head up to the ramp as Stevie says this could end at the Brown Derby. For those unfamiliar, the Brown Derby is a restaurant in Los Angeles. Chokeslam is blocked and Reno hits the Roll of the Dice (Cross Rhodes) on the ramp. He gets a table and then a second one on top of that. According to the laws of wrestling of course Reno goes through them shortly thereafter.

The guys go off into some BIG empty area (you know because it’s not like FANS could go there as we need it for this one moment in a pointless match) before we head to the back. A computer monitor is thrown at Reno who counters with a fire extinguisher for two. Computer monitor to Reno’s head lets Madden say he knew the internet would destroy wrestling. That’s very funny all things considered. Actually it’s not as Mark Madden is not a laughing matter.

Wall drills Finlay who is an agent at this point and we head back into the arena. This is just going on WAY too long at this point and it’s not interesting at all anymore. Scratch that as it would imply that something about this match was interesting at all in the first place. Wall gets the fifth table of the match (the word overkill means nothing in WCW if you didn’t get that) but gets hit with a chair by Reno. Roll of the Dice (Cross Rhodes. It looked weak with no impact at all) onto the table ends this.

Rating: D-. This got ELEVEN MINUTES. Yeah this match is deserving of more time than the good opener. There was nothing at all here to set this apart from any other standard hardcore match. WCW had no idea what they were doing with this division and that’s very clear.

More Thrillers come down for the post match beatdown until the Misfits come out for the save.

Shane talks to the Thrillers which either isn’t live or Palmbo managed to get to the back and get dressed inside of 6 seconds. Ah ok it’s earlier today. Nash has put Douglas in charge of the Thrillers for the night. Sure why not.

Goldberg was hurt on Thunder apparently.

Kronik is looking for Goldberg who isn’t here yet. They want some beer. See they were big strong guys that beat people up for money and drank beer. Yeah you get the idea.

Perfect Event vs. Misfits in Action

Shawn Stasiak/Chuck Palumbo vs. Lieutenant Loco (Chavo)/Corporal Cajun (Lash Leroux) for those of you unfamiliar. This was signed seconds ago. Well of course it was. Stasiak has been a problem in the group apparently so expect that to cause the loss for them. Chavo and Stasiak start us off here as this is just a basic tag team match.

Chavo plays Ricky Morton as I could not be less interested in this match while still writing about it. We get the second release date for Backstage Assault in the last ten minutes. One thing says Halloween and one thing says not until December. The game sucked anyway so it’s not like it really mattered. According to Tony there used to be a limit to the amount of saves a partner could make in a match. I’ve heard of that before actually so it’s not as insane as it sounds.

NICE overhead belly to belly by Palumbo to Chavo as it’s all Perfect Event. Hot tag to Cajun who was underrated I think. A bad sleeper from Palumbo has Cajun in trouble for bad acting. The referee is Scott Armstrong, as in the blonde guy that used to be in WWE with the hitch in his count.

If you’re going to use the sleeper, at least do something other than having an arm in front of the throat Palumbo. Soon afterwards everything goes nuts and like I said before heel miscommunication leads to Palumbo kicking Stasiak and a tornado DDT from Chavo ends it.

Rating: D+. This was just there. It’s about ten minutes long and nothing at all of note happens in it. Two teams had a wrestling match on a show for the company they work for. That’s all that happened here. It was just ok and this was once again one of the issues with WCW: matches on PPV had no point at all, much like this one.

Kidman and Rey won’t sub for Konnan who is still hurt.

Shane Douglas/Torrie Wilson vs. Konnan/Tygress

Torrie is dressed as Wonder Woman and DANG. Shane cuts his usual awful promo about how the whole injury thing earlier was planned. Sure why not. No Konnan to start us off. Tygress sets for a Bronco Buster (FACE FULL OF STUFF according to Madden) is blocked and there is still no Konnan. We saw him heading to the ring before the match started and here he is from through the crowd. Did he get lost or something? Was he following a trail of popcorn maybe?

Rolling clothesline hits Shane as Konnan is wearing a Vince Carter Team USA jersey. We get something close to an actual tag match finally with the guys in there. And so much for that as Tygress beats her up. Tony shows the idiocy of himself as he’s shocked that a woman can do a wristlock. You know, in a company where there was a Women’s Cruiserweight Title.

Shane punches Tygress to send her down as this is boring already. Mixed tags rarely work and this is no exception. Torrie can’t wrestle. That’s all there is to it. Madden makes sex jokes as Stevie calls a camel clutch a Boston Crab. Oh wait we have to call it a Steiner Recliner. Sure why not.

Why did Shane Douglas keep getting work? He was only worth anything in ECW and even there it wasn’t much. Outside of that though, no one was ever interested and yet he kept getting pushes. Konnan comes in and seems to be just fine of course. More Bronco Busters as this needs to end badly. And then Konnan does a double facebuster on the heels to win it. Thank goodness.

Rating: D-. Torrie looked good. The rest of this is a failure. Was there a point anywhere here? If there was I missed it completely. Totally boring match with nothing going on at all and Tygress being in the ring more often than not. There’s nothing else to say here at all.

David Flair has a First DNA match tonight to find out who slept with his girlfriend and fathered her child. He has two guys in labcoats with him. Again, two more guys that get a PPV paycheck here that are completely unneeded.

Buff Bagwell vs. David Flair

This is a first blood match. Buff cuts a basic promo early on about David being rather small. David is a guy I felt sorry for as he had more or less zero talent but he kept going out there and trying as hard as he could in a spot he flat out was not ready for but was there because of his last name being Flair. It wasn’t his fault though so it’s hard to get on him.

David is slammed off the top as this is one sided so far as it should be. Since this is a first blood match, both guys use a lot of slams and work on the other guy’s back. Flair finally swings a chair which of course misses. Chair shot to David and the somehow best wrestler in this match, Buff Bagwell, has David in trouble. Yeah Flair is bleeding and the referee doesn’t seem to care. Buff throws in a Blockbuster just for fun as the referee finally sees it.

Rating: F. Another stupid match. We have a five minute first blood match of course because clearly this needed a gimmick. This went nowhere at all and was almost pure dominance by Bagwell.

Luger comes down and beats up Bagwell with Tony shouting about how many times is Luger going to turn on people. Buff’s mouth is busted open and David gets a sample from it. David walks toward the back as Goldberg is getting here, an hour into the show. This was supposed to end with Russo sleeping with Stacy which thankfully never happened.

Steiner cuts another generic promo.

Mike Sanders vs. Ernest Miller

Ok, this is one of those matches that you just have to go with. This is a kickboxing match between a wrestler (Sanders) and a karate dude (Ernest Miller) for the Commissionership of WCW. There are three two minute rounds. You can only win by knockout as in after a ten count as well. Somehow this is by far the simplest aspect of the thing by the end of the match.

The winner is the Commissioner, which about five people have been in the past 12 months. Perfect Event is at ringside with Sanders and Cat’s chick, Ms. Jones, is with him. Miller, someone actually trained in this, of course destroys him for the most part. Round one ends and of course they fight even more after the bell.

There are no points or judges or anything so if no one is knocked out by the end of the rounds I have no idea what happens. To be fair I have no idea what is happening in the match itself so it balances out I guess. At about a minute gone by in the SECOND round, both of which are TWO MINUTES long, Tony says it’s been about four minutes so far. Do I even need to make fun of this anymore?

Sanders gets drilled by a punch and the Perfect Event argues over whether or not to throw in the towel. Sanders wants it in but the bell rings and he can’t leave yet. And here’s Shane Douglas here to be annoying I guess. Since it’s a wrestling show, the referee is on the floor arguing during the match. Cat gets a cartwheel kick to END Sanders.

Palumbo gets in again and Douglas pops Miller with a chain. The referee does the SLOWEST COUNT EVER, being at 6 with 20 seconds left but Miller is saved by the bell. Madden gets popped. Keep in mind that the match is over. Miller hits the floor and the referee starts counting as Miller brawls with Douglas and Sanders wins after the match is over.

Rating: N/A. To sum this up, a wrestler beat a martial artist in a kickboxing match after he beat the bell when a guy hit him with a chain but was counted out for leaving the ring to brawl with a guy not in the match after the fight was over to lose the commissionership of a major wrestling company. And Vince Russo made 2 million dollars a year for this. Let that sink in the next time you get your paycheck.

A doctor talks to Goldberg who insists he’s fine.

Kronik says they don’t care if they wrestle tonight as they get paid either way.

Vampiro vs. Mike Awesome

It’s That 70s Guy here which is yet another instance where WCW blows what could have been someone special. This is Vampiro’s last match with WCW so who do you think wins it? Vampiro has been extra evil or something lately and hates Awesome just because. Awesome has some title shot coming and Vampiro wants it on the line. Awesome, having nothing to gain, says sure.

Big plancha to the floor by Mike to half kill Vampiro. Dang he was great back in the day. Naturally since he was young and good he was made into a comedy character. We head into the crowd now and it’s all Awesome. A fan jumps Awesome and he’s in trouble people that need to drink to get through a show this bad.

Vampiro grabs a chair for both guys and we have a duel. Just wasting time now as not a lot is going on. Vampiro goes for a top rope belly to belly but he more or less just drops Awesome, letting him fly through the air and do all of the work, making it look bad. Awesome busts out a table which makes this at least the second match with them in it. Since they were used earlier, not a lot of people care here.

Stevie wants to know why this is legal and gets no answer. Stevie freaking Ray is the voice of reason on this show. The same Stevie Ray that had a segment called Suckas Gots To Know. Anyway Vampiro hits his finisher and looks for more weapons because he’s an idiot. Madden gets a Ghostbusters line in to make this a bit easier. Sitout Awesome Bomb on the floor as this is now falls count anywhere I guess.

Back in the ring as Vampiro takes an Awesome Bomb from the top rope for the academic pin. In other words the table means absolutely nothing as it wasn’t used at all. And of course we have a solid enough match like that and we get That 70s Guy music and go to General Rection. Nothing wrong with that is there?

Rating: C-. Not bad here and very physical. Awesome would change gimmicks eventually and get back to just being a tough guy but it was too late. Vampiro is a guy I never got at all and to this day I still don’t. This was ok though as Awesome just beat the crap out of him. The rules made no sense but that’s WCW for you.

Rection tries as well as he can to make this work but he’s still named General Rection.

We get a replay of the powerbomb. Is there a reason we needed to go to the interview before we saw that?

US Title: Jim Duggan/Lance Storm vs. General Rection

Storm is US Champion and has Major Gunns with him who is there against her will. Those white shorts were incredible looking on her though. Duggan was turned heel for zero apparent reason but hey, why not go against his character for about 12 years? Storm is still awesome in this role though so I’ll give him that. I feel sorry for Rection. He was trying as hard as he could here but the name was just something you couldn’t take him seriously with.

Duggan’s board is thrown out. I wish someone would take away my bored(om). The fans chant USA for the American face here. The Americans start us off here. Storm comes in and Rection clears the ring. Storm in now as nothing is really going on yet. They’re trying to make Rection look like a big deal here but like I’ve said, with that name how is that really possible?

Hacksaw goes for the referee but does nothing with him. He looks old and fat here so I guess he fits in perfectly. Double clothesline puts both guys down. I know I’m not saying much here but there’s nothing to say here. Sleeper goes on and draws some boos. Rection moves out of the way so Storm drills Duggan. Madden says the General has to beat both guys then says just one guy. Love that clarification Mark. I bet if this was TNA you’d know for sure.

Down goes everyone included the referee leaving only Duggan standing. Duggan hits a Piledriver but there’s no referee. He finally comes back and gets crushed on Rection’s kickout. Elix Skipper, another member of Team Canada, comes out with the board but Gunns drills him with the Canadian flag. She jumps Storm, allowing Rection to hit the moonsault (as in his head hits Duggan’s knee kind of) for the US Title.

Rating: D-. All because of Gunns here. This was just boring and the missed spot near the end just killed this thing out of whatever it had left going for it. General Rection is the US Champion. Is calling him Hugh Morrus really all that bad? It’s certainly a better sounding name but whatever. Pretty weak match so it fits in with the rest of the show.

Preview for Mayhem which Tony says is on Monday. Are days of the week really that hard?

Jarrett says he’s going to show that Sting has no spirit anymore. Can these two feud over anything else? He promises to see the evolution of Sting’s career tonight. Oh crap it’s THAT match.

Quick video here that says the same things the promo says.

Sting vs. Jeff Jarrett

Jarrett runs to start and Sting drills him. We fight on the floor and Sting dominates. Brock Lesnar just lost the UFC Title so I’m a bit stunned still. Splash misses but Sting braces himself and never loses control. And now we have a guy on the stage dressed like Sting was in the late 80s. Sting (I’ll use the name Sting for the real one) beats up the imitation and Death Drops him on the stage.

Madden: can you get disqualified for beating yourself up? That’s actually a decent question. The distraction allows Jarrett to take over and we go into the crowd. Out of the crowd (and what a coincidence that Sting took them to the perfect place) a 1990 Sting appears. One of the fake Stings (oh you know more are coming) is Chris Harris of TNA fame. Another Death Drop leaves him laying.

Cue the Wolfpack Sting and it’s the red paint Sting. Dang we skipped like 8 years in there. We get into a discussion of whether the Wolfpack was heel or face as the third fake Sting goes down but Jarrett picks up the bat and pops Sting which the referee is fine with I guess. And we get another sleeper now which even Madden makes fun of. When that fat jerk is making jokes about you that are correct, you have issues.

Sting makes the comeback and hooks a sleeper of his own just to bore us a bit more. Here’s the real comeback as he avoids a dropkick and goes for the Scorpion. And of course a fourth Sting pops up from under the ring (I think this is Harris) and pulls him through the ring. Fans boo the HECK out of this as Sting beats him up too. Stinger Splash hits twice and there go the lights.

The fifth fake Sting repels from the ceiling (can they please get their continuity right?) and Sting beats him down too. His wig falls off and Sting puts him through the table. It would have been nice if the table didn’t break BEFORE the impact but whatever. Back in the ring Sting goes for the Scorpion but Sting #4 pops him with a guitar. This is no sold but Jarrett’s guitar shot ends it. I give up.

Rating: R. As in only Russo can be blamed for this idiocy. Screw wrestling (it’s Jarrett/Sting. Do you really think it’s going to be bad?) apparently for the sake of insanity and FUN booking right? Two million dollars a year. Let that sink in again guys. How is a Scott Steiner match sounding like relief?

Booker talks about Goldberg for no apparent reason.

Brief Steiner video follows as we repair the ring.

WCW World Title: Scott Steiner vs. Booker T

Wow that was a quick fixing job on the ring. Ok apparently Booker changed the card order so Goldberg could have extra time. My face more or less says what the heck as I heard that but I want to get this show over with so I’ll let it go. Also the champion is coming out first here. In the back Steiner freaks out and beats up an agent because they’re not on last.

Was there any point to that? I get the concept of it making Steiner seem even crazier but did it add anything at all? They try to make this out to be some huge match but it’s not working at all. After a brief opening sequence Steiner goes out into the crowd after a fan. He was legit crazy for awhile so of course he got bigger and bigger pushes throughout the year.

Steiner throws some STIFF shots that sound very painful. We head into the crowd now as nothing of note is going on. Steiner puts Booker through the announce table as Stevie gets in a somewhat funny line: “Tony that’s the last table that we have!” The delivery was better than it sounds.

Surfboard by Steiner which thank goodness doesn’t end with a curb stomp. He yells at Stevie a lot as this is pretty much dominance. Steiner blocks the Axe Kick and it’s all Scotty here. Samoan Drop from the middle rope gets no cover. At this point there are fifteen minutes in the entire broadcast and we have an elimination handicap match to go. Spinning belly to belly gets two.

Stevie keeps harping on the fact that Scott will never be a champion. Takes one to know one I guess eh Stevie? Almost all Steiner here other than a little here and there from the champion. Missile dropkick hits for two which is surprising as that was one of his signature moves. Axe kick (complete with Steiner just standing there hunched over forever) hits for two.

Midajah (Steiner’s Freak) slips him a pipe which drills Booker in the knee which isn’t a DQ. The referee yells at him so the referee gets beaten up and put in a Tree of Woe. A second referee comes in during the Steiner Recliner so Steiner beats him up too. Even Madden is confused here, but that could be because someone asked him his name. The third referee comes in to DQ Steiner and the pipe beats up every referee and security guard in sight.

Rating: D. Another crap match here with a bad ending. Steiner DESTROYED the champion here for the most part and it looked horrible. Steiner would get the title the next month anyway which makes me wonder why in the world they didn’t go with that ending here. Steiner looked dominant here, making Booker look like a paper champion for the next month. Nice job WCW.

Jarrett has to come down to calm him down afterwards.

Package on Kronik vs. Goldberg. Russo hired them to beat Goldberg. End of story.

Goldberg vs. Kronik

Kronik’s music hits with about 8 minutes to go in the broadcast. Adams is freaking talking now. He says Goldberg hasn’t been cleared so there’s no match tonight. After the debacle of 1998’s version of this show how stupid are they? Their music plays and we cut to the back to see the athletic commission saying Goldberg is fine. His music hits with six minutes to go so we have his FULL ENTRANCE too.

Four and a half minutes to go with his pyro hitting. This is going to be so stupid. He’s in the ring with four minutes left and this is already horrible looking. No tagging here. They throw him to the floor and it’s just a brawl. Not a good one or anything but a brawl nonetheless. Even Tony says this isn’t a match. Nice to see him just admit it. Double clothesline puts Bill down.

We get ANOTHER TABLE as even Madden and Tony roll their eyes at this. Tony: We’re NEVER out of tables. Stevie: WHY DIDN’T WE GET THAT ONE? High Time (Double Chokeslam) through the table is blocked. Goldberg spears Clark (Tony gets the name wrong) through the table to end him as we’re told he has to beat both guys. Naturally this lasts like 30 seconds and the spear/Jackhammer end it. Three and a half minute main event. We’re off the air 20 seconds after the pin.

Rating: F. The main event of a PPV was a squash match that lasted three and a half minutes with former tag champions getting ended that fast. Do I need to explain why this was a failure?

Overall Rating: F-. This is one of the worst PPVs I can remember in a LONG time. There is all of one decent match on the card and like I said it went downhill after that. Stupid booking and stupid gimmicks all around and the show sucked because of it. Just a horrible show and the epitome of a lot of the things wrong with Russo. The world title match ended in a DQ and the main event didn’t break 200 seconds. You tell me why this sucked.

 

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Halloween Havoc 1993
Date: October 24, 1993
Location: Lakefront Arena, New Orleans, Louisiana
Attendance: 6,000
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Jesse Ventura

This is a show I’ve kind of wanted to get to for the main event alone. This is the blowoff to Vader vs. Cactus Jack with the main event being non-title. For once that’s fine though as it shouldn’t be for the title as it’s about revenge. Also tonight it’s Flair vs. Rude II for the International Title. If it’s as bad as last month’s I’m not sure what I’ll do. Let’s get to it.

The opening video here is a bunch of kids trick or treating and one has an idea. One wants to go home because it’s time for Halloween Havoc to start. They go to a big scary house and find something terrifying inside: Tony Schiavone. If Halloween Havoc is about to start, shouldn’t he be at an arena?

One of the kids asks him just that and he says he has a helicopter. He says his wife is baking cookies and asks if the kids would like them. This is supposed to be a vampire thing I think and it turns into a promo for the Spin the Wheel Make the Deal main event. Tony pulls his face off to reveal a monster and we open the show.

Tony is dressed as Jesse and Jesse is dressed as a gynecologist. That’s rather amusing. Tony says he wasn’t in that house and it was Jesse dressed as a monster dressed as Tony. Ok then.

Ice Train/Charlie Norris/Shockmaster vs. Harlem Heat/Equalizer

Harlem Heat are known as Kane and Kole (Stevie and Booker respectively) and are by far the most talented guys in there. The face team (listed first) is perhaps the least talented group of three men ever assembled and that covers a lot. Shockmaster is the guy that fell over, Ice Train is a big muscular black guy and Norris is an Indian. Equalizer is not very good.

Ice Train and Stevie start us off. 2 Cold Scorpio and Marcus Bagwell are tag champions apparently. Train runs through him but surprisingly enough there’s no tag. Train can more or less do nothing at all. Off to Stevie now and Norris as well. Stevie gets his arm worked on as I’m bored already. Shocky comes in to a pop for no apparent reason. He drops some legs on the arm as we hear about his agility. Oh dear.

Harlem Heat use nefarious means to take down Ice Train as I guess he’s the face in peril. Still no Equalizer at this point. Oh great here he comes. That’s EXACTLY what I wanted to see. This is of course incredibly boring and the most interesting thing we hear is that Yoshi Kwan has been replaced by Paul Orndorff in his match with Ricky Steamboat.

Shockmaster, called Uncle Fred here, comes in to beat up Equalizer. The fans chant whoomp there it is to tick me off. Norris in now but down he goes anyway. END THIS PLEASE!!! Booker misses a splash and it’s off to Shockmaster. He locks a bearhug on Booker and falls on him for the pin to THANKFULLY end this.

Rating: F+. Do I need to explain to you why this was terrible? Other than Booker T, Tugboat was the best worker in the entire match. Absolutely terrible, FAR too long at nearly 10 minutes and absolutely nothing special in the slightest about it. At least it’s over though.

Terry Taylor is the second referee for Rude vs. Flair. Does this PPV hate me or something?

Paul Orndorff vs. Ricky Steamboat

Well he’s better than Kwan I guess. Orndorff has the Assassin, an old masked wrestler and Nick Patrick’s papa, with him for no apparent reason. The fans immediately start the Paula chant. Orndorff jumps him to start and takes the early command. I can’t stand Orndorff but this has to be better. Steamboat gets a rollup for two but gets his head taken off shortly thereafter.

We hit the floor as this is just barely interesting at this point. They fight on the ramp for a bit with Steamboat taking a WEAK slam. We stay out there way too long and Patrick finally yells at Paul about it. Steamboat finally gets something going by hooking the arm of Orndorff as he jumps and it’s off to an armbar. This needs to like, get going very soon here.

Jesse accusing the referee of jive talking. There’s something hilarious about that. Cross body by Steamboat gets two and it’s back to the arm. Steamboat sends Orndorff into the post which isn’t a DQ because it wasn’t head first. Somehow Orndorff is allowed to stay outside for like two minutes at a time. Steamboat goes back to the armbar and rips on the fingers this time.

Steamboat is all fired up here and Orndorff is hiding from him. Back to the floor where Orndorff rams Steamboat’s head into the apron and then dumps him into the crowd. Both try cross bodies back in the ring so we stop some more. Sunset flip gets two for Steamboat and we head outside AGAIN. This is beyond stupid at this point.

Back in the ring and a top rope chop gets two. Piledriver is reversed and it’s a pinfall reversal sequence. Slingshot into the corner sends Orndorff into the steel. The Steamboat Cross Body hits but the Assassin has the referee. The delay makes it get two. After some more near falls Orndorff sends him to the floor. With the referee distracted, Orndorff loads up his mask and rams his head into the back of Steamboat’s and it’s a freaking countout after nearly 20 minutes of dull.

Rating: D-. This is one of those matches that went on forever and then at the end we got nowhere. Probably 8 minutes of this was them laying around or in an armbar or being on the floor. Who in the world thought this was a good idea? We can’t have a clean ending here on a PPV? This was boring but the ending drags it way down.

The WCW International Board of Directors are saying that the International Title is considered a world title, so yes WCW did the two world titles first.

TV Title: Davey Boy Smith vs. Steven Regal

Ok, this has to be better right? This is pre-drugs Regal and therefore awesome. There’s a fifteen minute time limit so they might as well brand TIME LIMIT DRAW on the middle of the mat. BIG pop for Smith. That TV Title is the design that would become the Cruiserweight Title.

They walk around a lot and Regal complains about the oil on Smith. Smith almost breakdances and winds up in control of the wristlock. Regal takes over it and they kill some time. Smith cartwheels to escape some hold by Regal. This is another match with no apparent point other than to have a match. We’re about four minutes into this and nothing of note at all has happened yet.

Cravate by Regal wastes some more time. Surfboard by Smith takes about 30 seconds to set up. Sir William, the manage of Regal, tries to interfere and it makes Bulldog drop the hold. It allows Regal to take over as the crowd isn’t exactly thrilled with this match to say the least. Knee to the ribs gets two. He hooks a modified chinlock to waste more time.

Bulldog gets a sunset flip for two as this is reaching that level of boring again. We hit ten minutes with Regal holding onto Bulldog. This basically amounts to Bulldog on the mat and Regal laying on him. Four minutes left. Bulldog tries a comeback but Regal gets a knee to the ribs to stop that. Off to another chinlock which lasts awhile as we hit three minutes. Tony thinks we’re putting this into the deep freeze. You can’t buy insight like this people!

Bulldog gets him up onto his shoulders but Regal nails Smith in the ribs to drop him again. Back to ANOTHER chinlock as we’re at two minutes now. Jesse and Tony have an ethics debate (Jesse is against them) as Bulldog puts Regal on the ramp for no apparent reason. Regal takes him down one more time as this needs to end. Smith nips up and starts his comeback with a minute to go. What are the odds of that? Regal kicks out of the powerslam like it’s nothing and a Piledriver gets two at the bell so it’s a tie and Regal keeps the belt.

Rating: D. Well it was a little bit better than the other matches but it’s another nonsense finish. They’ve had one regular finish tonight and that was in the terrible six man match. This is perhaps the worst opening hour to a PPV I’ve ever seen. Actually wait. It’s not bad. It’s just insanely boring. This had DRAW written all over it from the second Bulldog’s music hit and everyone knew it.

The main event is a Texas Deathmatch which they clearly rigged the wheel for THANK GOODNESS after the fiasco last year.

United States Title: Steve Austin vs. Dustin Rhodes

These two feuded for what seemed like forever. Dustin got the title in what was supposed to be a #1 contenders tournament but the champion, Rude, was injured so it became a title tournament. The Hollywood Blonds are still together but would be split very soon. Dustin of course, looks like an idiot because he wants to be a cowboy like his papa. Jesse flat out says it makes him look like a gay caballero.

The bell rings and the fans get a bit quieter. Austin slaps Dustin to start and they go into the corner. Dustin returns the slap and we hit the floor. Back in and Austin can’t get a Boston Crab. They tease a test of strength which goes nowhere. Austin drills him with a right hand to take over. Hmm he’s being rude to fans, wearing black, his hair is getting shorter and his name is Stunning. Nah there’s nothing there, at least according to Eric Bischoff.

Off to a headlock by Austin as they’re just past the feeling out process here. I’m starting to think that the boring style here is more a thing of WCW in general rather than the matches themselves. Into the corner now where Austin keeps control with chops. He tries a running knee into the corner but misses and hits the floor with a possibly bad knee. Austin with knee trouble? Nah.

Dustin, thinking for once, goes after the knee. Yep let’s do that for a few minutes now. The cameraman gets bored so we go to a wide shot as apparently researchers are looking up the rules for a gimmick match. This raises a bunch of questions. First of all, where do you look it up? Is there a Big Book O Gimmicks? Second, WCW has a research staff? And yet Charlie Norris, the Shockmaster and the Equalizer made it to TV? Finally, they didn’t know the rules when they put it on the wheel? What if it was an “everyone in the company loses their jobs match” according to the Big Book O Gimmicks? I could go on but I think you get the point.

Austin may hit Dustin low as he instantly takes over after a punch to the alleged stomach. Dustin goes back to the knee but Austin takes him down with ease again. Now we’re wasting some more time until Dustin hammers away with punches. Backdrop has Austin in trouble. Dustin calls for the bulldog but he gets crotched as a result. As Goldust he’d enjoy that methinks.

With Dustin sitting on the corner he got crotched on, Austin knocks him backwards into a Tree of Woe. Hey, Austin and Dustin only have one letter different in their name. Obviously the A did better than the D, thereby proving that letter grades are better than stars. Stun Gun is blocked and they go into a short pinfall reversal sequence for nothing but deuces.

Austin sets for a spinebuster but more or less drops him. He throws his feet on the ropes and gets the pin but Nick Patrick stops the celebration and says keep going. Dustin rolls him up for the quick pin despite Austin’s shoulders being up. Austin clocks him with the belt and leaves with the belt post match. He would win it at Starrcade before losing it to Jim Duggan of all people in like 30 seconds.

Rating: C. Well it’s the best match of the night so far but it’s still pretty bad. Austin and Dustin would have a much better 2/3 falls match at Starrcade but this was just not that good. You could see the star in Austin but he was held back by general idiocy for far too long. Anyway, decent match here but the show’s life has been sucked out of it long ago so there’s not much that’s going to save it and an ok match isn’t going to start the process at all.

Tag Titles: 2 Cold Scorpio/Marcus Bagwell vs. Nasty Boys

The random team won the tag titles “last night” (really like three weeks ago) as a surprise. Again the problems with the long TV tapings show up as everyone knew the titles were changing back tonight. Teddy Long manages Bagwell and Scorpio. Bagwell can’t dance, like at all. Bagwell has been either a rookie or in his second year for like 19 years now. Hearing Buffer say “The Diss That Don’t Miss” is disturbing.

Big brawl to start with the champions sending the Nasties to the floor. Bagwell kisses Missy Hyatt just because he can. That was apparently before the bell meaning we get MORE NASTY BOYS BABY!!! Sags goes off on Bagwell to start and apparently Bagwell is surprised. They fought them last night. How surprised can he be? Bagwell fights both guys off and Scorpio hits a top rope cross body to take both Nasties out and the challengers hit the floor again.

Another dive by Bagwell as we have even more time with them staring at each other. Off to Scorpio and Knobbs now with Scorpio getting a sunset flip for two. Double shoulderblock by the champions get two as this has been totally one sided other than some punches by Sags. Thesz Press gets two for Bagwell on Knobbs. Sags comes in and gets knocked around a bit too. Lots of double team moves get two on Sags. Off to an armbar by Scorpio now.

Back off to Bagwell and the arm work continues. Sags finally remembers that he’s in a famous tag team and shoves Bagwell into the corner and double teaming by the heels ensues. Out on the floor Missy slaps the TAR out of Bagwell. Bagwell is back dropped out there and casually says Oh My God while holding his back. Slam gets two. Off to the old favorite of a chinlock by Knobbs but it’s back to Sags very soon.

Sags spits on Bagwell who takes him down as a result. Knobbs, the illegal man, covers him for two after no tag and the referee is fine with it. Gotta love refereeing skills! Bearhug goes on to kill some more time. Marcus tries to fight out but a right hand stops him pretty easily. There’s my favorite move as the referee misses the tag to Scorpio but three seconds later the real tag happens anyway.

Scorpio comes in and cleans house with punches and dropkicks. Splash in the corner to Knobbs and he wants the Tumbleweed. Sags accidentally drops an elbow on Sags and the managers get up on the apron. In the ring there’s the 450 to Knobbs but Sags drills 2 Cold and puts Knobbs on top for the pin to win the titles back. Riveting.

Rating: C-. Well the ending was pretty fast paced but the 13 and a half minutes to get there more or less bored the heck out of me. I don’t know who thought it was a good idea to keep giving the Nasties double digits worth of time but it happened for about a year and a half. This was a boring match with a good ending and sadly enough the ending has been the best part of the show so far.

Sid and Colonel Parker (when did THAT partnership happen?) say that Sid is the Franchise of WCW. This next match is basically to determine who the big shot in the company is. Guess who wins.

Sting vs. Sid Vicious

Sid hammers him down to start with raw power. A clothesline by Sting puts Sid on the apron and a suplex brings him back in. To the floor we go and they fight into the crowd. This is all happening in maybe the first minute or so. Back to ringside with Sting totally in control. Top rope clothesline puts Sid down for two.

Parker grabs Sting’s foot and Sid is able to chokeslam Sting down. Now Sid stops to pose. Well no one ever accused Sid of being smart. He pounds away, mainly using very, very slow offense. Sid keeps grabbing Sting by the throat and shoving him around with relative ease. He adds some stomps as Sting really shouldn’t be in much trouble or pain at this point.

Parker cheats a bit and nothing really comes of it. More stomps as Sid hasn’t gone for anything resembling a kill. Side slam by Sid but no cover of course so Parker chokes a bit more. Sting goes after the Colonel on the floor so Sid goes after him, adding a chair shot so weak that I actually thought the video was in slow motion. Sid drapes him across the railing as this is so slow it’s pitiful.

Off to a chinlock now as I guess that was too much wrestling for Sid’s tastes. The fans chant for either guy as Sting fights up. He walks into a powerslam for two though and it’s off to a bearhug now. Sting gets out of it so we go right back to it. Again he escapes and avoids a big boot before hammering away on Sid. Two Stinger Splashes put Sid down and Parker is dropped for a bit. Parker accidentally grabs Sid’s foot for two. Sting rolls up Sid to thankfully end this.

Rating: D-. Oh this was bad. Sid’s combined time on offense might have added up to three moves that would have done significant damage. This went nowhere at all and was more or less a glorified workout for Sting. Sid would turn face soon after but nearly murder Arn Anderson and end his world title push. Terrible match with Sid doing barely anything at all. You know what this was like? It was like when you see wrestlers on a mainstream TV show and they do the bare bones of moves to try to make it look like a match before the ending. That’s what this was like but on a PPV match.

Vader is warming up.

Cactus seems to be….praying? He keeps saying you can’t hurt Cactus Jack.

WCW International World Title: Ric Flair vs. Rick Rude

Flair has his French maid Fifi with him. Remember that Terry Taylor is the second referee for no apparent reason at all. The big match intros waste some time. Flair gets a bunch of pyro when he’s already in the ring. Jesse: “All that for the challenger?” This is an actual world title so yes, Rude was a world champion. Taylor is on the floor for this so you can write Dusty Finish on this already.

Flair hammers away to start and gives us a WOO. Clothesline in the corner puts Rude down as it’s been all Flair so far. Granted we’re maybe 90 seconds into this. Rude gets a knee up in the corner but misses one off the top. Figure Four attempt works almost immediately and Rude is in trouble. This draws a WHOMP THERE IT IS chant for no apparent reason other than these are some stupid, stupid people.

Rude FINALLY makes the ropes and the hold is broken. Flair wraps his leg around the post as Jesse wonders why Taylor doesn’t stop it. Totally valid question which Tony of course brushes off. Flair works the knee more and Jesse says that he and Tony should wave since they’re on camera. Jesse is hilarious at times he really is.

Flair is sent to the floor to break the hold he had on Rude. He busts out a sunset flip but Rude kneels into it and grabs the ropes which Taylor slaps away so Flair gets two. Rude is knocked to the floor again as this has been one sided. Flair drops a forearm on Rude from the top rope to the floor. When do you ever see that? I guess this is post Bill Watts era. He tries it again but since it already worked once in the year it doesn’t a second time as Rude gets a fist in.

Rude tries to get a chair shot in but Taylor breaks that up. Jesse says Rude is the young one. Flair was old and this is eighteen and a half years ago. Chinlock by Rude which he lets go to gyrate for Fifi. Rude goes up and drops a forearm on Flair’s head for two. The knee injury from earlier slowed up his cover in some nice continuity. Back to the chinlock (reverse chinlock like a camel clutch here).

Flair is sent to the ramp and takes out a cameraman which is always fun to see. Suplex back in gets no cover. Rude goes up and hits the forearm/fist/strike from the top rope. Again why mess with the basics if they work? They chop it out and I think you know who wins that. Rude takes him down with a clothesline for two though and we hit the bearhug. He drops to his knees in this hold for some reason. He gets some covers out of it so I guess that was the idea.

They slug it out for a bit and Flair locks in a sleeper which is broken in seconds. Maybe it wasn’t locked in. Rude goes up a third time but Flair avoids it. Rude Awakening by Flair gets two. Backslide gets two for the challenger. Taylor is the in ring referee now for no apparent reason at all. Flair comes off the top but jumps into the boot of Rude in the dumbest spot in wrestling.

Ok now Anderson is in the ring as referee again. Flair wakes up and goes off on Rude in the corner but Rude gets a weak clothesline. Down goes Anderson so now Taylor should be the in ring referee. Rude hits him by mistake and pulls out the foreign object that won him the title last month. Flair takes him down and gets the object, hitting Rude with it. He drills Rude (no pin for no apparent reason at all) but the outside referee saw it and yes you guessed it IT’S A DUSTY FINISH with Rude keeping the title.

Rating: D+. Well the match itself was boring but then the ending made it even worse. This went twenty minutes and we get a Dusty Finish. Is anything actually going to happen on this show? Like I said another boring match but I’m rating it higher out of pity at this point. Terrible ending and a weak match to set it up means this isn’t anything to talk about.

Rude tries to take Fifi but gets dropped and put in the Figure Four on the ramp.

We go over the rules for a Texas Deathmatch (I guess we found the Big Book O Gimmicks). Here’s the idea: it’s kind of like a Last Man Standing match but not quite. You fight and you go for pins which count anywhere in the building. Then there’s a 30 second rest period (stupid) and THEN the guy that got pinned has ten seconds to get up, meaning you have 40 seconds to get up in theory. Dude, did ANYONE edit the Big Book O Gimmicks?

Vader vs. Cactus Jack

I’m not going through the whole angle again but in short they started fighting in April, Vader injured Jack, Jack is here for revenge. Vader is world champion but this is about revenge and not the title. Jack is just mad over here. He was second to probably only Flair and Sting (arguably only Sting) in popularity at this point.

They go straight to the floor and the fight is on. I remember last year in the WZ Tournament IC said that there was one person that could take Vader in a hardcore match and that was Cactus Jack. This is the proof. Vader misses a punch and hits the post so Jack goes right after it. Chair is brought in but Vader just punches Jack in the head. Cactus is like BRING IT ON and bites Vader.

HARD chair shot to the head of Vader and the champion is in trouble. They actually go into the ring but Vader gets a boot up and drills Cactus with a clothesline. Vader just mauls him in the corner and Cactus is reeling. Out to the ramp goes Jack but he avoids a suplex back into the ring. Somehow he manages to suplex Vader in a rather rare display of strength. Jack is busted open but hits another suplex on the ramp, this time a belly to back variety.

No attempts at covers yet as this has been a major brawl. Race tries to interfere with a chair and gets dropped with ease. Another chair shot to Vader and they go into the graveyard set. They go into a grave with a headstone marked RIP Vader. For some reason there are steps into it which Cactus comes out of. His eye looks AWFUL. Vader comes out of his own grave and is busted open too. There’s a Thriller joke in there somewhere.

A shot with something gets a pin on Vader. Now Vader has 30 seconds to rest and THEN he has to get up. That’s just stupid. Only WCW could take a brutal war and make it this idiotic. Cactus grabs a cactus and drills Vader with it as Vader was up at two. Why is there a cactus in a graveyard in Louisiana? Cactus drops the elbow off the ramp and gets a fall with that. After the resting (some DEATHmatch) Vader is up before two.

Vader wakes up and drills Cactus who fights right back. A table (an actual one and not the WWE style) is set up in the corner. Vader is thrown into it and bounces off which just gets two. Cactus drills him with the table (again doesn’t break. See what I mean?) to knock him to the floor. Cactus tries a sunset flip to the floor which misses so Vader tries to sit on him which fails.

Jack drapes him over the railing and just beats on him. Total war the entire time so far. Into the crowd now and Vader more or less backdrops Cactus into the ringside area again. Chair to the back of Cactus as Harley has a freaking tazer. Vader slams Jack down and hits a pretty decent Vadersault for the pin and a count of like 3. This is why the rest period is stupid: the guy is up to a knee when the count starts.

They go to the ramp again and in perhaps the sickest bump I have ever seen, Cactus tries a sleeper out there but Vader drops backwards onto him. The THUD is absolutely sick and Cactus just stops dead. He ruptured his kidney on that and more or less couldn’t move but he kept going because it would have made him look weak. My jaw actually dropped on that shot.

Vader, nice guy that he is, drills him with a chair as Race wants a DDT on the chair. There it is and Cactus is more or less deceased. No cover as Patrick brings over the trainer for Jack. Wait was there a pin in there that I missed? Vader beats up the medics and there’s the pin. Ok I’m not crazy. During the rest period Cactus DDTs Vader on the chair but as he’s trying to get up Race uses the tazer on the leg (might be nice to turn it on to play it up) of Foley and it’s over.

Rating: A. The ending is the only thing keeping this from an A+. This is an absolute WAR. Other than the rest periods (stupid WCW) there isn’t a single break of action in the whole sixteen minutes of this. Great match and of course since Cactus was over with the fans and having better and better matches, he was thrown into a tag team and more or less forgotten about until he was fired when Hogan arrived next year. Typical WCW.

Jack DDTs Race post match for fun to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Oh man this was weak. The main event is the ONLY thing there is worth seeing on here. If you like brawls that match is must see. The other two and a half hours shouldn’t be mentioned again. Just a terrible show with the only other highlight being Jesse and Tony’s costumes. Terribly boring show that is typical of WCW in this year. Watch the main event and that’s it. Bischoff was a Civil War soldier if you care for some reason.

 

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Halloween Havoc 2000
Date: October 29, 2000
Location: MGM Grand Garden Arena, Las Vegas, Nevada
Attendance: 7,582
Commentators: Stevie Ray, Tony Schiavone, Mark Madden

We’re in the dying days of the company here as with so few shows to go there’s really no reason for me to not finish these off. Goldberg is face again after that disaster of a heel turn for him. It’s more or less a double main event tonight with him vs. Kronik. The idea is that he has to break his original winning streak to get a title shot or he retires. The other match is Booker vs. Steiner for the title. Yeah not much has changed. Let’s get to it.

Wow that announce team scares me to death. For some reason Stevie got a big push late in WCW’s run and became a commentator. No one is really sure why.

Pamela (GORGEOUS) asks some fans if Goldberg wins or loses. They’re split.

Standard IT’S HALLOWEEN promo starts us off. Sting vs. Jarrett is a big match too apparently. Oh it’s that show isn’t it. This show has one of the dumbest matches I’ve ever seen so we need to get into this before I stab myself over that.

Tony says this is in fact SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT. I give up.

Tag Titles: Boogie Knights vs. Rey Mysterio/Billy Kidman vs. Natural Born Thrillers

Boogie Knights are Disco and Alex Wright and the Thrillers are Mark Jindrak and Sean and Mark O’Haire and have the belts here. There was some weird deal where the Knights won the belts but Mike Sanders decided the title change didn’t count and gave them the belts back. There are advertisements at every corner of the ring. WCW’s latest horrible video game (no wrestling in the ring, just in the back) is the sponsor. Nice to see how well the sponsorship deals are going isn’t it?

Wright, Kidman and Jindrak start us off. That’s what I always liked about WCW triple threats: they had triple threats instead of three team tag matches. Alex allegedly has the most experience. Not quite but in WCW he did I guess. Bronco Buster misses and here’s Disco. I forgot Konnan was there until he said something about Shane Douglas. It’s a big WZ Preunion here.

Everyone keeps working to beat up the Thrillers. In a nice move, Disco sets up Sean to allow Kidman to come off with the Shooting Star but instead he jumps at Disco with a back elbow in a thinking move. Wright gets a lot of praise here which is weird. You could tell he was one of those guys that they wanted to do something with but they never quite could do it.

We get a Tower of Doom spot as I’m getting into this triple threat tag match formula. Rey, Sean and Disco come in. Sean has a dime dropped on him and Disco takes a modified seated senton for two each. Sean’s knee may be hurt. The Thrillers use one of their signature awesome spots where they pick up Rey for what looks like a double hip toss and throw him from the floor over the top rope and into the ring. That was awesome looking.

They do the same to Kidman but Wright catches him in mid air in a belly to belly for two. This is getting awesome fast. Big plancha by Alex to take out Disco and Jindrak. Let the cruiserweights loose as the big dives begin. Kid Crusher on Wright (Unprettier/Killswitch) gets two. Top rope rana by Rey to Disco is followed by a Bronco Buster.

Last Dance (Stunner) by Disco gets two as Rey drops a dime on Disco to break it up but it allows O’Haire to hit the Seanton (yes I spelled that right) Bomb to end it. Imagine a guy Orton’s size doing a Swanton and imagine how awesome it would look. Wright beats up Rey afterwards and Konnan tries to save. He gets beaten down also but Sgt. AWOL (member of the MIA) comes in for the save. Konnan can’t stand up.

Rating: B. This was FUN. You had six relatively young guys out there just having fun in a fast paced tag match. It’s a great choice for an opener and I got very into it. This was WCW’s problem though: this is pretty much going to be the match of the night and the crowd is going to decline as we continue. Very fun opener though and I liked it a lot.

AWOL has a hardcore title match next so he just hangs out and sets up a table. WCW guys come out and attach trash cans full of weapons to the posts.

Hardcore Title: Reno vs. Sergeant AWOL

I liked Reno so this should be bad anyway. Reno brings a kendo stick and pops Wall (his old name) with it so Wall kicks him in the face then goes through a table. Uh sure. We have NEW Hardcore rules here which are now falls count anywhere and anything goes. Back in the day the matches had to start in the back and end in the ring. WCW managed to make a video game out of that concept. Yeah they were dead at this point.

Just a basic weapons match at this point with no one really caring. See what I meant about the quality going down? Wall puts the trashcan over Reno’s head and kicks the can into the railing. That looked painful but after looking at it for about two seconds you can see he missed Reno completely. And now he does it again just because he can. Wall and Stevie do the Too Sweet hand gesture for zero explained reason.

They head up to the ramp as Stevie says this could end at the Brown Derby. For those unfamiliar, the Brown Derby is a restaurant in Los Angeles. Chokeslam is blocked and Reno hits the Roll of the Dice (Cross Rhodes) on the ramp. He gets a table and then a second one on top of that. According to the laws of wrestling of course Reno goes through them shortly thereafter.

The guys go off into some BIG empty area (you know because it’s not like FANS could go there as we need it for this one moment in a pointless match) before we head to the back. A computer monitor is thrown at Reno who counters with a fire extinguisher for two. Computer monitor to Reno’s head lets Madden say he knew the internet would destroy wrestling. That’s very funny all things considered. Actually it’s not as Mark Madden is not a laughing matter.

Wall drills Finlay who is an agent at this point and we head back into the arena. This is just going on WAY too long at this point and it’s not interesting at all anymore. Scratch that as it would imply that something about this match was interesting at all in the first place. Wall gets the fifth table of the match (the word overkill means nothing in WCW if you didn’t get that) but gets hit with a chair by Reno. Roll of the Dice (Cross Rhodes.  It looked weak with no impact at all) onto the table ends this.

Rating: D-. This got ELEVEN MINUTES. Yeah this match is deserving of more time than the good opener. There was nothing at all here to set this apart from any other standard hardcore match. WCW had no idea what they were doing with this division and that’s very clear.

More Thrillers come down for the post match beatdown until the Misfits come out for the save.

Shane talks to the Thrillers which either isn’t live or Palmbo managed to get to the back and get dressed inside of 6 seconds. Ah ok it’s earlier today. Nash has put Douglas in charge of the Thrillers for the night. Sure why not.

Goldberg was hurt on Thunder apparently.

Kronik is looking for Goldberg who isn’t here yet. They want some beer. See they were big strong guys that beat people up for money and drank beer. Yeah you get the idea.

Perfect Event vs. Misfits in Action

Shawn Stasiak/Chuck Palumbo vs. Lieutenant Loco (Chavo)/Corporal Cajun (Lash Leroux) for those of you unfamiliar. This was signed seconds ago. Well of course it was. Stasiak has been a problem in the group apparently so expect that to cause the loss for them. Chavo and Stasiak start us off here as this is just a basic tag team match.

Chavo plays Ricky Morton as I could not be less interested in this match while still writing about it. We get the second release date for Backstage Assault in the last ten minutes. One thing says Halloween and one thing says not until December. The game sucked anyway so it’s not like it really mattered. According to Tony there used to be a limit to the amount of saves a partner could make in a match. I’ve heard of that before actually so it’s not as insane as it sounds.

NICE overhead belly to belly by Palumbo to Chavo as it’s all Perfect Event. Hot tag to Cajun who was underrated I think. A bad sleeper from Palumbo has Cajun in trouble for bad acting. The referee is Scott Armstrong, as in the blonde guy that used to be in WWE with the hitch in his count.

If you’re going to use the sleeper, at least do something other than having an arm in front of the throat Palumbo. Soon afterwards everything goes nuts and like I said before heel miscommunication leads to Palumbo kicking Stasiak and a tornado DDT from Chavo ends it.

Rating: D+. This was just there. It’s about ten minutes long and nothing at all of note happens in it. Two teams had a wrestling match on a show for the company they work for. That’s all that happened here. It was just ok and this was once again one of the issues with WCW: matches on PPV had no point at all, much like this one.

Kidman and Rey won’t sub for Konnan who is still hurt.

Shane Douglas/Torrie Wilson vs. Konnan/Tygress

Torrie is dressed as Wonder Woman and DANG. Shane cuts his usual awful promo about how the whole injury thing earlier was planned. Sure why not. No Konnan to start us off. Tygress sets for a Bronco Buster (FACE FULL OF STUFF according to Madden) is blocked and there is still no Konnan. We saw him heading to the ring before the match started and here he is from through the crowd. Did he get lost or something? Was he following a trail of popcorn maybe?

Rolling clothesline hits Shane as Konnan is wearing a Vince Carter Team USA jersey. We get something close to an actual tag match finally with the guys in there. And so much for that as Tygress beats her up. Tony shows the idiocy of himself as he’s shocked that a woman can do a wristlock. You know, in a company where there was a Women’s Cruiserweight Title.

Shane punches Tygress to send her down as this is boring already. Mixed tags rarely work and this is no exception. Torrie can’t wrestle. That’s all there is to it. Madden makes sex jokes as Stevie calls a camel clutch a Boston Crab. Oh wait we have to call it a Steiner Recliner. Sure why not.

Why did Shane Douglas keep getting work? He was only worth anything in ECW and even there it wasn’t much. Outside of that though, no one was ever interested and yet he kept getting pushes. Konnan comes in and seems to be just fine of course. More Bronco Busters as this needs to end badly. And then Konnan does a double facebuster on the heels to win it. Thank goodness.

Rating: D-. Torrie looked good. The rest of this is a failure. Was there a point anywhere here? If there was I missed it completely. Totally boring match with nothing going on at all and Tygress being in the ring more often than not. There’s nothing else to say here at all.

David Flair has a First DNA match tonight to find out who slept with his girlfriend and fathered her child. He has two guys in labcoats with him. Again, two more guys that get a PPV paycheck here that are completely unneeded.

Buff Bagwell vs. David Flair

This is a first blood match. Buff cuts a basic promo early on about David being rather small. David is a guy I felt sorry for as he had more or less zero talent but he kept going out there and trying as hard as he could in a spot he flat out was not ready for but was there because of his last name being Flair. It wasn’t his fault though so it’s hard to get on him.

David is slammed off the top as this is one sided so far as it should be. Since this is a first blood match, both guys use a lot of slams and work on the other guy’s back. Flair finally swings a chair which of course misses. Chair shot to David and the somehow best wrestler in this match, Buff Bagwell, has David in trouble. Yeah Flair is bleeding and the referee doesn’t seem to care. Buff throws in a Blockbuster just for fun as the referee finally sees it.

Rating: F. Another stupid match. We have a five minute first blood match of course because clearly this needed a gimmick. This went nowhere at all and was almost pure dominance by Bagwell.

Luger comes down and beats up Bagwell with Tony shouting about how many times is Luger going to turn on people. Buff’s mouth is busted open and David gets a sample from it. David walks toward the back as Goldberg is getting here, an hour into the show. This was supposed to end with Russo sleeping with Stacy which thankfully never happened.

Steiner cuts another generic promo.

Mike Sanders vs. Ernest Miller

Ok, this is one of those matches that you just have to go with. This is a kickboxing match between a wrestler (Sanders) and a karate dude (Ernest Miller) for the Commissionership of WCW. There are three two minute rounds. You can only win by knockout as in after a ten count as well. Somehow this is by far the simplest aspect of the thing by the end of the match.

The winner is the Commissioner, which about five people have been in the past 12 months. Perfect Event is at ringside with Sanders and Cat’s chick, Ms. Jones, is with him. Miller, someone actually trained in this, of course destroys him for the most part. Round one ends and of course they fight even more after the bell.

There are no points or judges or anything so if no one is knocked out by the end of the rounds I have no idea what happens. To be fair I have no idea what is happening in the match itself so it balances out I guess. At about a minute gone by in the SECOND round, both of which are TWO MINUTES long, Tony says it’s been about four minutes so far. Do I even need to make fun of this anymore?

Sanders gets drilled by a punch and the Perfect Event argues over whether or not to throw in the towel. Sanders wants it in but the bell rings and he can’t leave yet. And here’s Shane Douglas here to be annoying I guess. Since it’s a wrestling show, the referee is on the floor arguing during the match. Cat gets a cartwheel kick to END Sanders.

Palumbo gets in again and Douglas pops Miller with a chain. The referee does the SLOWEST COUNT EVER, being at 6 with 20 seconds left but Miller is saved by the bell. Madden gets popped. Keep in mind that the match is over. Miller hits the floor and the referee starts counting as Miller brawls with Douglas and Sanders wins after the match is over.

Rating: N/A. To sum this up, a wrestler beat a martial artist in a kickboxing match after he beat the bell when a guy hit him with a chain but was counted out for leaving the ring to brawl with a guy not in the match after the fight was over to lose the commissionership of a major wrestling company. And Vince Russo made 2 million dollars a year for this. Let that sink in the next time you get your paycheck.

A doctor talks to Goldberg who insists he’s fine.

Kronik says they don’t care if they wrestle tonight as they get paid either way.

Vampiro vs. Mike Awesome

It’s That 70s Guy here which is yet another instance where WCW blows what could have been someone special. This is Vampiro’s last match with WCW so who do you think wins it? Vampiro has been extra evil or something lately and hates Awesome just because. Awesome has some title shot coming and Vampiro wants it on the line. Awesome, having nothing to gain, says sure.

Big plancha to the floor by Mike to half kill Vampiro. Dang he was great back in the day. Naturally since he was young and good he was made into a comedy character. We head into the crowd now and it’s all Awesome. A fan jumps Awesome and he’s in trouble people that need to drink to get through a show this bad.

Vampiro grabs a chair for both guys and we have a duel. Just wasting time now as not a lot is going on. Vampiro goes for a top rope belly to belly but he more or less just drops Awesome, letting him fly through the air and do all of the work, making it look bad. Awesome busts out a table which makes this at least the second match with them in it. Since they were used earlier, not a lot of people care here.

Stevie wants to know why this is legal and gets no answer. Stevie freaking Ray is the voice of reason on this show. The same Stevie Ray that had a segment called Suckas Gots To Know. Anyway Vampiro hits his finisher and looks for more weapons because he’s an idiot. Madden gets a Ghostbusters line in to make this a bit easier. Sitout Awesome Bomb on the floor as this is now falls count anywhere I guess.

Back in the ring as Vampiro takes an Awesome Bomb from the top rope for the academic pin. In other words the table means absolutely nothing as it wasn’t used at all. And of course we have a solid enough match like that and we get That 70s Guy music and go to General Rection. Nothing wrong with that is there?

Rating: C-. Not bad here and very physical. Awesome would change gimmicks eventually and get back to just being a tough guy but it was too late. Vampiro is a guy I never got at all and to this day I still don’t. This was ok though as Awesome just beat the crap out of him. The rules made no sense but that’s WCW for you.

Rection tries as well as he can to make this work but he’s still named General Rection.

We get a replay of the powerbomb. Is there a reason we needed to go to the interview before we saw that?

US Title: Jim Duggan/Lance Storm vs. General Rection

Storm is US Champion and has Major Gunns with him who is there against her will. Those white shorts were incredible looking on her though. Duggan was turned heel for zero apparent reason but hey, why not go against his character for about 12 years? Storm is still awesome in this role though so I’ll give him that. I feel sorry for Rection. He was trying as hard as he could here but the name was just something you couldn’t take him seriously with.

Duggan’s board is thrown out. I wish someone would take away my bored(om). The fans chant USA for the American face here. The Americans start us off here. Storm comes in and Rection clears the ring. Storm in now as nothing is really going on yet. They’re trying to make Rection look like a big deal here but like I’ve said, with that name how is that really possible?

Hacksaw goes for the referee but does nothing with him. He looks old and fat here so I guess he fits in perfectly. Double clothesline puts both guys down. I know I’m not saying much here but there’s nothing to say here. Sleeper goes on and draws some boos. Rection moves out of the way so Storm drills Duggan. Madden says the General has to beat both guys then says just one guy. Love that clarification Mark. I bet if this was TNA you’d know for sure.

Down goes everyone included the referee leaving only Duggan standing. Duggan hits a Piledriver but there’s no referee. He finally comes back and gets crushed on Rection’s kickout. Elix Skipper, another member of Team Canada, comes out with the board but Gunns drills him with the Canadian flag. She jumps Storm, allowing Rection to hit the moonsault (as in his head hits Duggan’s knee kind of) for the US Title.

Rating: D-. All because of Gunns here. This was just boring and the missed spot near the end just killed this thing out of whatever it had left going for it. General Rection is the US Champion. Is calling him Hugh Morrus really all that bad? It’s certainly a better sounding name but whatever. Pretty weak match so it fits in with the rest of the show.

Preview for Mayhem which Tony says is on Monday. Are days of the week really that hard?

Jarrett says he’s going to show that Sting has no spirit anymore. Can these two feud over anything else? He promises to see the evolution of Sting’s career tonight. Oh crap it’s THAT match.

Quick video here that says the same things the promo says.

Sting vs. Jeff Jarrett

Jarrett runs to start and Sting drills him. We fight on the floor and Sting dominates. Brock Lesnar just lost the UFC Title so I’m a bit stunned still. Splash misses but Sting braces himself and never loses control. And now we have a guy on the stage dressed like Sting was in the late 80s. Sting (I’ll use the name Sting for the real one) beats up the imitation and Death Drops him on the stage.

Madden: can you get disqualified for beating yourself up? That’s actually a decent question. The distraction allows Jarrett to take over and we go into the crowd. Out of the crowd (and what a coincidence that Sting took them to the perfect place) a 1990 Sting appears. One of the fake Stings (oh you know more are coming) is Chris Harris of TNA fame. Another Death Drop leaves him laying.

Cue the Wolfpack Sting and it’s the red paint Sting. Dang we skipped like 8 years in there. We get into a discussion of whether the Wolfpack was heel or face as the third fake Sting goes down but Jarrett picks up the bat and pops Sting which the referee is fine with I guess. And we get another sleeper now which even Madden makes fun of. When that fat jerk is making jokes about you that are correct, you have issues.

Sting makes the comeback and hooks a sleeper of his own just to bore us a bit more. Here’s the real comeback as he avoids a dropkick and goes for the Scorpion. And of course a fourth Sting pops up from under the ring (I think this is Harris) and pulls him through the ring. Fans boo the HECK out of this as Sting beats him up too. Stinger Splash hits twice and there go the lights.

The fifth fake Sting repels from the ceiling (can they please get their continuity right?) and Sting beats him down too. His wig falls off and Sting puts him through the table. It would have been nice if the table didn’t break BEFORE the impact but whatever. Back in the ring Sting goes for the Scorpion but Sting #4 pops him with a guitar. This is no sold but Jarrett’s guitar shot ends it. I give up.

Rating: R. As in only Russo can be blamed for this idiocy. Screw wrestling (it’s Jarrett/Sting. Do you really think it’s going to be bad?) apparently for the sake of insanity and FUN booking right? Two million dollars a year. Let that sink in again guys. How is a Scott Steiner match sounding like relief?

Booker talks about Goldberg for no apparent reason.

Brief Steiner video follows as we repair the ring.

WCW World Title: Scott Steiner vs. Booker T

Wow that was a quick fixing job on the ring. Ok apparently Booker changed the card order so Goldberg could have extra time. My face more or less says what the heck as I heard that but I want to get this show over with so I’ll let it go. Also the champion is coming out first here. In the back Steiner freaks out and beats up an agent because they’re not on last.

Was there any point to that? I get the concept of it making Steiner seem even crazier but did it add anything at all? They try to make this out to be some huge match but it’s not working at all. After a brief opening sequence Steiner goes out into the crowd after a fan. He was legit crazy for awhile so of course he got bigger and bigger pushes throughout the year.

Steiner throws some STIFF shots that sound very painful. We head into the crowd now as nothing of note is going on. Steiner puts Booker through the announce table as Stevie gets in a somewhat funny line: “Tony that’s the last table that we have!” The delivery was better than it sounds.

Surfboard by Steiner which thank goodness doesn’t end with a curb stomp. He yells at Stevie a lot as this is pretty much dominance. Steiner blocks the Axe Kick and it’s all Scotty here. Samoan Drop from the middle rope gets no cover. At this point there are fifteen minutes in the entire broadcast and we have an elimination handicap match to go. Spinning belly to belly gets two.

Stevie keeps harping on the fact that Scott will never be a champion. Takes one to know one I guess eh Stevie? Almost all Steiner here other than a little here and there from the champion. Missile dropkick hits for two which is surprising as that was one of his signature moves. Axe kick (complete with Steiner just standing there hunched over forever) hits for two.

Midajah (Steiner’s Freak) slips him a pipe which drills Booker in the knee which isn’t a DQ. The referee yells at him so the referee gets beaten up and put in a Tree of Woe. A second referee comes in during the Steiner Recliner so Steiner beats him up too. Even Madden is confused here, but that could be because someone asked him his name. The third referee comes in to DQ Steiner and the pipe beats up every referee and security guard in sight.

Rating: D. Another crap match here with a bad ending. Steiner DESTROYED the champion here for the most part and it looked horrible. Steiner would get the title the next month anyway which makes me wonder why in the world they didn’t go with that ending here. Steiner looked dominant here, making Booker look like a paper champion for the next month. Nice job WCW.

Jarrett has to come down to calm him down afterwards.

Package on Kronik vs. Goldberg. Russo hired them to beat Goldberg. End of story.

Goldberg vs. Kronik

Kronik’s music hits with about 8 minutes to go in the broadcast. Adams is freaking talking now. He says Goldberg hasn’t been cleared so there’s no match tonight. After the debacle of 1998’s version of this show how stupid are they? Their music plays and we cut to the back to see the athletic commission saying Goldberg is fine. His music hits with six minutes to go so we have his FULL ENTRANCE too.

Four and a half minutes to go with his pyro hitting. This is going to be so stupid. He’s in the ring with four minutes left and this is already horrible looking. No tagging here. They throw him to the floor and it’s just a brawl. Not a good one or anything but a brawl nonetheless. Even Tony says this isn’t a match. Nice to see him just admit it. Double clothesline puts Bill down.

We get ANOTHER TABLE as even Madden and Tony roll their eyes at this. Tony: We’re NEVER out of tables. Stevie: WHY DIDN’T WE GET THAT ONE? High Time (Double Chokeslam) through the table is blocked. Goldberg spears Clark (Tony gets the name wrong) through the table to end him as we’re told he has to beat both guys. Naturally this lasts like 30 seconds and the spear/Jackhammer end it. Three and a half minute main event. We’re off the air 20 seconds after the pin.

Rating: F. The main event of a PPV was a squash match that lasted three and a half minutes with former tag champions getting ended that fast. Do I need to explain why this was a failure?

Overall Rating: F-. This is one of the worst PPVs I can remember in a LONG time. There is all of one decent match on the card and like I said it went downhill after that. Stupid booking and stupid gimmicks all around and the show sucked because of it. Just a horrible show and the epitome of a lot of the things wrong with Russo. The world title match ended in a DQ and the main event didn’t break 200 seconds. You tell me why this sucked.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:

 

Halloween Havoc 1997
Date: October 26, 1997
Location: MGM Grand Garden Arena, Las Vegas, Nevada
Attendance: 12,457
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Dusty Rhodes, Bobby Heenan

 

This was another request and since I want to get some WCW PPVs done I have no problem knocking this one out. We’re two months out from Starrcade so this show doesn’t mean much. We have something resembling a double main event with Hogan vs. Piper in a cage and DDP vs. Savage in what would be called a last man standing match.  Let’s get to it.

 

After a brief intro that is literally all about Hogan vs. Piper, we’re into the arena for some talking.

 

Tony talks about how a year ago Piper debuted in this arena. Oh and it’s the biggest cage match EVER!!! The announcers talk about the cage match a lot which is of course non-title as Sting vs. Hogan is carved into granite here. If Hogan wins, the NWO may never die. Yes, Piper was pushed that hard.

 

Yuji Nagata vs. Ultimo Dragon

 

The Dragon wanted to get his hands (or is it claws?) into Sonny Onoo, the manager of Nagata. Onoo is the old manager of Dragon and he screwed him over for Nagata. I guess cuddling with the scales didn’t work. This feud went on way too long and no one really wanted to see it but it kept getting pushed anyway. They trade some kicks to start and Nagata takes over.

 

They speed things up and Dragon tries some more kicks which results in him getting suplexed hard. There’s the head stand in the corner but Dragon gets caught in a neck crank. He can’t get anything really going here. Dragon finally breaks the hold and gets kicked for his efforts. Tenay thinks the winner here might be #1 contender for the Cruiserweight Title.

 

Camel clutch by Nagata and Dragon is in trouble again. We hear about Nagata being in MMA which is true. He was 0-2 and his fights lasted less than a combined 90 seconds. To be fair though, his opponents were Cro Cop and Fedor. Wait those fights hadn’t happened yet. Unless they were amateur or at REALLY small promotions, I have no idea what fights Tenay is talking about.

 

Suplex gets two for Nagata as I’m in pain simply thinking about having to fight those two. Dragon gets a Dragon Screw leg Whip out of nowhere and we hit the floor. Dragon tries a dive and jumps into a kick. This has been about 85-90% Nagata. Here comes Raven with the Flock for some reason as Dragon hits the Asai Moonsault. Back in the ring and the handspring elbow by Dragon eats a knee.

 

Sunset bomb off the top gets two for Dragon as he’s slowly getting more moves to hit. Apparently he has a bad elbow. Standing moonsault gets two and Dragon wants the spinning frankensteiner. Nagata reverses and is able to drop the arm across the thing that connects the buckle to the post. He hammers the arm and gets a belly to belly for two.

 

Nagata Lock (a leg lock. What the heck?) goes on for a bit but Dragon grabs a Dragon Sleeper for a few seconds as Nagata escapes. Both guys down now but Dragon pops up to hit his kicking sequence to take over. Spinning frankensteiner hits but the arm is hurt. He goes for the Dragon Sleeper and Nagata reverses into an armbar for the tap out. Quick finish there.

 

Rating: B-. Basic match here and Nagata was dull as always, but this was still good. This feud would go on forever with Nagata never really losing. Dragon never really meant anything after this, although you could say the same thing for the whole company in about six months. Not a bad opener, but Dragon got beaten down too much.

 

Disco Inferno is on WCW.com with Mark Madden. Hey it’s like a WZ Party! He runs his mouth about facing Jacqueline, a woman, tonight. I can’t stand her and this angle was bad.

 

Gedo vs. Chris Jericho

 

This is a bonus match. Gedo has blonde hair and is in a dark yellow cut off shirt and pants. Gedo’s partners may be coming to WCW soon apparently. Apparently Gedo lost in the finals of the Super J Cup. Jericho sends him to the floor and then a long suplex in the ring puts Gedo down. Jericho is a face here.

 

He chops away but gets knocked over the rope once and skins the cat. I still wonder how in the world that name came from. Gedo is apparently a fan of 1970s southern brawling and is like Dusty Rhodes. Oh dear indeed. And this guy almost won the Super J Cup? That could be horrifying. Gedo takes over with a powerslam and a sleeper but Jericho gets a clothesline to make Gedo flip inside out.

 

Double powerbomb by Jericho (I didn’t know he did that in WCW) gets two. They both go to the top but Jericho botches the tar out of it (how often do you hear that line?) and almost lands in a Styles Clash kind of move. That looked painful as all goodness but not quite a FREAKING OW MAN level. Pescado by Jericho eats boots and they head back in. Gedo gets a shot at the knee and goes up, only to jump into the Liontamer to end this.

 

Rating: C+. Pretty good match here but not quite as good as the first one. The styles kind of clashed here (haha that was funny) but the result was still solid. Jericho botching is always interesting to see due to the rarity of it. Decent match as yet again we see the WCW formula of good matches from young guys and the bad matches from the old guys to end it.

 

Mongo and Debra argue about divorce things.

 

Cruiserweight Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio

 

This is mask vs. title with Eddie as champion of course. Great heat on Eddie to start as he’s totally evil here. Rey gets an arm drag and a cross body to send him to the floor almost immediately. Rey flips to the apron but gets caught by Eddie and tripped, sending him to the floor. Eddie rams Rey into the steps and adds a hilo to the back in the ring. Rey fires off a dropkick but tries a cartwheel which gets caught in a belly to back as Eddie continues his dominance.

 

Tilt-a-whirl backbreaker by Eddie gets two. Eddie goes after the mask but this is part of a bodysuit kind of a thing. Abdominal stretch by Eddie and Rey is in trouble. Tenay says that Rey used to wrestle as Hummingbird which Heenan of course rips into. Rey is on his back in a test of strength position so he uses Eddie as a board to pop up with and jumps to the top rope, backflips over and grabs a DDT out of nowhere to break Eddie’s momentum. AWESOME move.

 

Rey sends Eddie to the apron and tries a dropkick but Eddie moves and sends Rey to the floor. After sending him into the railing it’s a camel clutch with Eddie ripping at the mask again. Off to the Gory Special and Rey is in trouble. Modified surfboard as Eddie is in total control here. We hear about El Santo which is someone you hardly ever hear about at all.

 

Rey tries to fire some shots off in the corner but gets sent into the opposite corner and caught in the Tree of Woe. Baseball slide by Eddie misses and he does the Hennig crotch spot against the post. Rey dives off the top onto Eddie on the floor and here comes Rey. Standing rana gets two back in the ring. A headscissors puts Eddie on the floor and in perhaps the most awesome spot I’ve ever seen, Rey gets a running start and dives over the ropes, catches Eddie in a rana and swings him around without touching the floor until he releases the hold.

 

Back in and a corkscrew moonsault gets two. Split legged moonsault misses and it’s a big powerbomb by Eddie and Rey is in trouble. Crowd is getting into this quickly. Big heat on Eddie now. Rey takes him down with a spinwheel kick but the West Coast Pop is reversed into a backbreaker. Frog Splash misses so Rey goes up top. Eddie tries a crucifix bomb off the top but Rey reverses into a rana out of air and holds Eddie down to get the pin and the title! AWESOME ending!

 

Rating: A+. This was in the running for match of the year and it’s easy to see why. The problem is when you have Austin vs. Hart in the I Quit match and the original Hell in a Cell in the same year. That kind of slows things down a bit which is a shame as this was a great match indeed. Rey was awesome at this point and moved around here so well that it was almost uncanny. Great match and Eddie played an awesome cocky heel here. Great match and the best I’ve ever seen out of Eddie I think.

 

Bischoff and Hogan babble about wanting Sting guaranteed to be out of the arena before he’ll fight tonight. Ok then. This took four minutes somehow with them talking about wanting a contract or something so he can get the physical belt back.

 

Debra has a surprise opponent for Mongo.

 

Alex Wright vs. Steve McMichael

 

This is more of Debra vs. Mongo with her managing Wright here. And it’s time to talk about Hogan not being in the main event now. Mongo works on the wrist but Wright bounces out of it. A minute into the match the announcers say the names of the wrestlers for one time each. I think Wright is a heel here but it’s really kind of hard to tell. Not like the announcers are helping us any as we need to talk about Hogan being a coward.

 

Yep Wright is a heel here as we discuss the NWO having power now and how they have the fans over a barrel. Wright works on the arm but I’m not sure why. It’s not like they’re being recognized for it. Tony is calling them con men or whatever. Mongo takes over again as now we’re going to talk about Sting to avoid talking about the match. They collide in the ring and neither guy goes anywhere.

 

They talk about the match for 34 seconds and just flat drop it to talk about Hogan more. After a bit more talking it’s a tombstone, Mongo’s finisher, to Wright. Goldberg comes in while Debra has the referee, and spears Mongo. This would be a bit more effective if the referee hadn’t looked over his shoulder to make sure the spear hadn’t happened yet. The Jackhammer hits (how does the referee not notice a third person in there) and he throws Wright on top for the pin.

 

Rating: C. I’m giving them some credit here because they got such little love from the announcers. In a six and a half minute match the match was talked about for all of a minute. That’s pathetic and they did it on TV also. I can kind of understand it there but here? Why? Are they trying to sell it or something? We already have the PPV man. What’s the point?

 

Debra gives Goldberg the Super Bowl ring which is now apparently Goldberg’s. He lays out Wright and he’s the real man for Debra.

 

Savage and Liz (looking sexy in an NWO t-shirt) say various things about beating up DDP.

 

Disco Inferno vs. Jacqueline

 

This was supposed to be for Disco’s TV Title but the wrestling commission wouldn’t let us have a title match where the area between their legs wasn’t matched. Tony tries to tell us that WCW should ban Hogan from coming back to PPV if he bails tonight and talks about court cases or something. It’s so hilarious to hear someone on Halloween Havoc talking about not giving the fans an advertised main event.

 

Disco runs of course as he’s both afraid of her and is afraid of trying to touch her. We’re at stall #3 by Disco so far so we talk about WCW having momentum or something. WCW never got that no one cared about WCW or momentum or a war or whatever as it went on FOREVER. Disco has hit the floor five times in three minutes now and there has been zero contact whatsoever.

 

To the ropes again as this is just idiotic. The fans boo loudly and I can’t say I blame them. We talk about how Hogan ran too. OH COME ON as he’s hit the floor eight times now and she finally chases him. A sunset flip gets two as we’re firmly in the “let’s praise Jackie for doing basic moves on a man because she’s female” territory. Drop toehold takes her down and Disco hits the floor again.

 

We play keepaway on the floor for awhile and Disco hits the floor for an 11^th time. WHO BOOKED THIS CRAP??? Jackie finally catches him and hammers away….kind of. Disco tries to leave and that gets him nowhere. Hip toss doesn’t work and he sends her to the floor. The problem here is simple: Jackie is just a brawler that talks tough.

 

That doesn’t make this impressive. It makes it long and like they’re trying to say “look at us! We’re awesome because this chick is awesome!” See, when Chyna did it, it was realistic because she could hang with them and you kind of forgot she was a woman. Jackie is a chick that is doing moves to men. Cross body is rolled through by Disco for two and Jackie rolls up the TV Champion and pins him clean. No one cares about Jackie still.

 

Rating: F. Oh do I even have to explain this one? Jackie isn’t impressive, no one cares about her and she was supposed to be Chyna or something like that. Boring match that might have had 1 minute of “action” out of nine. This was just terrible and they had to know it was.

 

US Title: Ric Flair vs. Curt Hennig

 

Hennig stole Flair’s robe and turned on Flair and the Horsemen at Fall Brawl. Hennig, the champion, comes out with the Cruiserweight belt instead of the US belt. Flair sprints to the ring and beats the tar out of Hennig to start. Time to talk about Hogan some more as we finally get the robe off Hennig and onto Flair (minus the sleeves). Hennig gets his first offense in, a clothesline, at about two and a half minutes.

 

Tony manages to say by golly as he rants and raves about WCW and pride and all kinds of nonsense like that. Hennig goes after the knee and the announcers rant about Hogan even more. Just say he’ll be here and get it over with. Hennig works over the leg a lot as the momentum this match had has just died completely. Elbow gets two as Hennig goes after the head, which is what was injured in the War Games match where Hennig turned.

 

All Hennig and his orange crotch of tightness here as he hammers away at Flair’s head. He hammers away and we talk about what WCW might offer Hogan and Bischoff. Sleeper goes on which is very appropriate here. A chair is grabbed and Hennig tries the weakest chair shot ever as Flair’s head is up against the post. Flair chops away and hammers Curt down. Slingshot sends Hennig into the post which happens a lot to him. Still on the floor mind you as we have been this entire paragraph.

 

Back into the ring now as Hennig wants to leave. Flair chases him down and they head back to the ring where Hennig beats him down again. The belt is in the ring from where Hennig tried to leave. Hennig sets for the Perfectplex onto the belt but of course the idiots that are the WCW announcers don’t get what he’s going for because it’s not like THAT IS HIS SIGNATURE MOVE AND HE HAD THE LEG HOOKED ALREADY!!! Flair suplexes him onto the belt and then puts Hennig in the Tree of Woe, puts the belt on Curt’s face and stomps it for the CHEAP DQ!!!

 

Rating: C+. Decent match but the talking and the ending completely crippled it. Flair and Hennig can have a good match in their sleep and this was ok, but the lack of offense from Flair in the middle hurt it as he more or less lost his momentum after a single punch. Still though, not bad at all and awesome due to sheer talent.

 

Flair keeps up the beatdown but the NWO ran out for the save.

 

Savage says he’s awesome on the internet.

 

JJ Dillon, back from an injury angle, says the match is going to happen. Ok, NOW FREAKING DROP IT ALREADY!!! Bischoff of course comes out to complain and say Dillon has no authority or something like that. Dillon has a contract that has been notarized or something. That’s what he uses in a wrestling show. Dude, wrestling fans don’t care about contracts. Let it die. Bischoff says if Sting is here, they want Nitro. Whatever!

 

Lex Luger vs. Scott Hall

 

Larry Zbyszko is referee for no apparent reason. The announcers get the contract from the previous segment because you pass it around like something brought in for show and tell. Zbyszko wants to fight Hall over some AWA thing and he wouldn’t get to until January. We talk about Hogan and Bischoff EVEN MORE because we haven’t hammered that out yet I guess.

 

Larry takes a toothpick to the face and here comes Lex. Larry pulls Hall off of him as we hear about the one feud of Larry’s that anyone cares about, that one being against Sammartino. Larry calls it down the middle here as Hall throws on a headlock. Luger works on the arm as we’re having a very basic match to start us off here. Syxx is at ringside here.

 

Hall puts on a hold where he grabs Luger’s wrists and bends his arms back. Luger reverses it so that he’s behind it. Hall is still holding the wrists even though he’s in pain here. I give up. He uses the ropes to escape. Really? I mean dude, REALLY? And this guy was in THE LADDER MATCH people! Clothesline puts Luger down and Hall takes over again. Zbyszko counts slow.

 

Off to a sleeper by Hall as this match is putting me to sleep. That goes on for awhile until a suplex gets Luger out of it. Larry, ever the impartial referee, backdrops Hall to the floor. Here’s Bischoff who gets drilled also. Luger starts his comeback and hits three atomic drops and the forearm. Bischoff distracts Larry and Syxx kicks Luger down. Outsider Edge hits and there’s the pin. Wow I’m kind of surprised.

 

Rating: D. The referee thing got old quick as Larry didn’t need to be there in the slightest and they never told us why Larry and Hall didn’t like each other. I knew because of prior knowledge, but this is a bad thing that only WWF ever seemed to get right: let us know in case there are first time viewers. That might make them want to see more instead of “oh they’re feuding and don’t worry why.” Never got that.

 

Larry sees the replay and we restart the match. Rack goes on and the bell rings just as Syxx kicks him for the potential DQ. This extra time might have been 12 seconds long and I’m not sure if Luger won by submission or DQ. Does it matter? Rating is the same as above. Bischoff beats up Zbyszko as his ego continues to dominate the show. I mean dude, why in the world was Bischoff in a competitive match at Starrcade? The point of a match like that is for him to be destroyed, but they let Bischoff fight and win a screwy match. That’s WCW for you though. And you wonder why they went out of business.

 

Oh and Larry choked Syxx with a submission hold. That was a reason to get him out of the ring as he had a bad neck. He would be gone just after the beginning of the year and I don’t’ think he wrestled again for WCW.

 

Randy Savage vs. Diamond Dallas Page

 

This is billed as a Las Vegas Death Match which means Last Man Standing. These two feuded all year and it was AWESOME. By the way, Liz in a short leather skirt, tied off NWO t-shirt and three inch heel thigh high boots: WIN. Page has taped ribs which were injured for about 3 years I think. Savage attacks the ribs which Dusty says you can’t hide. Well gee Dusty how did you figure out he had bad ribs when they’re taped?

 

We head into the ring after starting on the floor and Savage hammers away. Page does that pull up out of the corner to break the count and beats the tar out of Savage. Both guys are down quickly off a double clothesline which Dusty explains the name of. Diamond Cutter attempt goes nowhere as Tony and Dusty argue over whether or not that move would be effective here. How are these people so freaking stupid?

 

Page goes lucha and dives over the top to take down Savage. Back into the ring but Page gets caught coming in and tumbles back out. Savage gets his patented (and he has the paperwork) axe off the top to the back of Page, sending him into the barrier. We head into the crowd where Raven’s Flock is sitting. They slug it out in the crowd and brawl out of the crowd up by the entrance way.

 

Savage sends him into the safety rail which makes sense as it hurts the ribs. Page throws him into the set which is made of fake tombstones and slams him onto a “stone” which explodes. Dusty of course freaks out over everything. Back towards the ring and Page goes rib first into the railing again but he might have blocked part of it. The shot into the steps doesn’t get blocked though and Page is in trouble.

 

Another shot with the steps gets about five and we’re back in the ring now. Savage steals a camera but Page gets his feet up to kick it back into Savage’s face. Nice counter there. Both guys are down and Liz pops up on the apron with a tray of some kind which is shattered over the referee’s head. She chokes Page but Kimberly comes out for the save. Yep Liz is far hotter.

 

Nick Patrick comes out to referee it and Page hammers away. Atomic drop and the Pancake (Styles Clash without the arms being hooked) sets up an attempt at a Diamond Cutter which misses. That gets a count of about five so Savage slams him and drops the elbow right into the ribs. Somehow that only gets 9 and there goes the referee right before a Diamond Cutter. Well of course he goes down at that exact moment.

 

Patrick gets up but both guys are down since Page never got up after dropping Savage with the Cutter. Both guys are rolling around at five and are both up at eight. Another Diamond Cutter attempt is countered by a low blow and Page hits the floor. And here’s Sting who hits Page in the ribs with the bat. Even Tony knows it’s not Sting so you can tell the joke was dead here. Somehow he couldn’t tell it was Nash as Sting the next month though. Page can’t get up as Savage makes it and this war is over.

 

Rating: A-. The ending is what holds this back but this was a war. Both of these guys liked to map out their entire matches so this was more like a recital than a match but that’s fine. Savage vs. Steamboat was like that. Very good match here as they beat the tar out of each other and it’s only the stupid ending that keeps it from being a classic. Still worth a watch though.

 

Bogus Sting was Hogan if you’re curious.

 

Savage jumps DDP while he’s attached to a stretcher.

 

The announcers talk about the match some more. Why are you surprised here?

 

Hulk Hogan vs. Roddy Piper

 

Piper has the belt here but isn’t champion. This is non-title and in a cage because this match is supposed to draw money in 1997. This is more like the Cell with no top and with big spaces in the walls shaped like squares. Think the blue cage but with squares big enough to pass a crack baby through. No word on what you do to win this but it’s implied Piper can win with the sleeper. Granted they don’t say get the sleeper and walk out or win with a submission out of it but whatever.

 

Hogan tries to climb out but Piper whips him with a belt. Now Piper bites Hogan’s tights. Dude, are there some surpressed feelings there? I’ve seen a lot now. We head into the ring for a change and it’s and atomic drop and a head slap. No referee here either. The cage here is more for keeping people out than a weapon which is fine I guess. Back to the floor again and Hogan tries to climb but is caught with a low blow.

 

They slam each other into the cage and Hogan wants the door open. Ok, Piper shoves Hogan out, meaning Hogan was out FIRST, but they went out at the same time so this continues. I guess that means you can win by escape but they just want it to keep going. Hogan tries to leave but Sting, and I’m assuming the real one, is pointing a bat at him. Piper catches up to him and slams the door on his back/shoulder.

 

Hogan gets Piper in and then falls out of the ring. He wants to get out now so I’m assuming it’s escape. Seriously, it’s that confusing. How freaking hard is a cage match anyway? Hogan rams him into the cage a few times as I keep tellimg myself this is almost over. Hogan climbs but Piper follows him. There’s a pair of Stings in the aisle as now Piper is near the top of the cage.

 

Hogan kicks Piper down off the cage (Piper kind of climbed down) and then Hogan climbs down as well. Weightlifting belt to the back and Hogan goes up instead of going through the door like an intelligent heel would. That cage is shaking too which is a bit scary. There’s a Sting waiting on Hogan at the bottom so Piper pulls him back in. Here’s a third Sting, this one kind of chunky.

 

Actually we have four of them now and now it’s five. Hogan climbs down so Piper tries to get out like an intelligent person but Hogan stops that also. Back into the ring now for some reason and Hogan pops him with the world title. There’s the leg drop onto Piper onto the belt which gets two as the referee has to come in.

 

Savage comes out and climbs to the top of the cage and jumps into the middle of the ring. Now to be fair he missed Hogan by about two feet but he caught him on the top of the head at least. Not criticizing him there mind you but pointing it out. I’d be scared to death from jumping that. Sleeper ends Hogan just after that.

 

Rating: D-. This match made no sense at all. You go from the lack of knowing how to win the match to kind of knowing how to win the match to no one wanting to escape the cage it seemed to the Sting army who did a total of one thing (keep Hogan from leaving) to Savage coming in at the end to the biggest problem: they really didn’t do anything.

 

This was about 14 minutes long and the vast majority was laying around, climbing the cage and punching. There was no drama, no extended advantages, very little violence and it really seemed liked there was no real reason for this to be in a cage. Bad match indeed for a lot of reasons.

 

Post match Bischoff comes out and he, Hogan and Savage beat up Piper. One of the Stings gets in and gets taken down with ease. They handcuff Piper to the cage and the beating is on. Hogan puts the Sting mask on for no apparent reason. A kid climbs over the cage and the fake Sting takes him down with ease and then Hogan and Savage beat the heck out of him in the ring for no apparent reason. This is either REALLY stupid or a totally pointless work. Security comes in and takes FOREVER to get him out. And that’s the show. Seriously, this ends with the fan being taken out.

 

Oddly enough the music for the credits is what would become Marc Mero’s theme music in WWF. No idea why but it is.

 

Overall Rating: C-. This is a hard one to grade. However other than the main event and the man vs. woman, nothing is really that bad. Hall vs. Luger is dull but not particularly horrible. Then you have two awesome matches including an all time classic which is more than enough to keep this from a terrible grade.

 

The constant talking of Hogan possibly not wrestling is REALLY annoying and I’d recommend fast forwarding about 45 minutes after that Hogan/Bischoff promo. It’s certainly not the worst WCW show ever but the bad stuff is rather bad. See those two matches and if you’re incredibly bored the whole show minus the main event and man vs. woman. Not too bad but still not great.

 

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