Smackdown
Date: September 9, 1999
Location: Pepsi Arena, Albany, New York
Attendance: 10,183
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

We’re still on the way to Unforgiven and I’m not exactly sure what is going on with the show’s card. The main story seems to be focusing around the Tag Team Titles and maybe HHH vs. The Rock and Mankind, but tonight Rock and Mankind are defending against Big Show and Undertaker in a tag team Buried Alive match, because that’s a thing. Let’s get to it.

Here is Raw if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

We cut to the parking lot, where HHH and Chyna attack Kane (it’s so strange to see him in street clothes) until Big Show makes the save. Show gets dropped with a low blow and everyone leaves.

Here is Big Show to ask who is the top dog now. Yeah he fed Al Snow’s dog to him, because no one is crazier than he is. If he’s that crazy, then he’ll fight any dog in the back who wants the Hardcore Title.

Hardcore Title: Big Boss Man vs. British Bulldog

The Bulldog is challenging in his first appearance in two years and has a terrible remix of Rule Britannia. They immediately fight into the crowd, with Boss Man taking over. Back in the ring and Boss Man’s chair shot is blocked, allowing Bulldog to get in a nightstick shot to win the title.

Post match Al Snow, now as Leif Cassidy (dig that Rockers’ theme) comes to the ring and shoves the paper he wrote on Monday into Boss Man’s mouth. Bulldog hands the title to Snow and leaves as apparently we have another new champion.

Kane pours gasoline on HHH’s car. Post break, HHH and Chyna try to save the car but get covered in gas as well. They thankfully run off, with Kane giving chase.

Edge and Christian vs. New Brood

For some reason Steven Richards, dressed in an old Christian Gothic shirt, is here with Edge and Christian, while Gangrel is here with the New Brood. Matt runs Edge over to start but Edge snaps off a hurricanrana to even things up. Jeff comes in to anklescissors Christian down as commentary talks about how Steve Austin might be around tonight. Edge is sent outside though and Jeff scores with a big dive to take him down.

Back in and Matt hits a top rope Lionsault for no cover, instead opting to hammer away and take his shirt off. The Hardys’ flip splash/fist drop combination gets two but the top rope splash/legdrop combination completely misses. Christian comes back in and everything breaks down, with Poetry In Motion hitting Christian in the corner. Gangrel tries to come in but Richards cuts him off as Jeff accidentally clotheslines Matt on the floor. Back in and a side slam/reverse DDT combination gives Edge the pin on Jeff.

Rating: C+. As has been the case in recent weeks, Edge and Christian are really starting to feel it in the ring. At the same time, I’m not sure who looks at the Hardys and thinks it makes sense to have them be heels. They’re as much of the young stars who could have a gaggle of female fans around them as can be so let’s put him with the evil vampire? Anyway, nice match here, which shouldn’t be a surprise.

Post match the Bloodbath is loaded up but here is Kane to wreck a bunch of people instead. Kane grabs the mic and promises to burn HHH tonight.

British Bulldog won’t talk about what he did tonight and leaves the arena.

X-Pac arrives and is looking for Kane.

HHH promises to make Kane bleed and he’s got the sledgehammer to make it happen. He’s also got the title, and Kane can come get it.

Here is X-Pac for a chat and he gets right to the point by calling Kane to the ring. Tonight, Kane needs to get his mind right because he can be the WWF Champion, but he’s doing it without X-Pac. As we see Big Show and Undertaker watching in the back, X-Pac says Kane interfered last week when asked not to, so the team is over.

Some masked men, who are certainly NOT Chris Jericho and Howard Finkel, arrive while speaking Spanish.

Here are the Hollys, with Hardcore saying he wants a heavyweight fight. He wants some “googly eyed monkey” to come down here and get in this ring, as long as they meet the requirements. Cue Chyna of all people, but Hardcore isn’t sure about this. Even with the extra silicon included, she might make the requirements, but he isn’t facing a woman. Chyna hits him in the back with the scale and it seems that they are indeed fighting.

Hardcore Holly vs. Chyna

Crash Holly is here with Hardcore and gets knocked off the apron to start. Crash’s distraction lets Hardcore get in a shot but Chyna DDTs him down. Cue Jeff Jarrett to jump Chyna for the DQ.

Post match Billy Gunn runs in for the save. Then he gives Chyna the Fameasser. Then the Hollys fight again, as is their custom.

X-Pac leaves.

Kane broods.

The Rock and Mankind arrive, with Mankind seemingly not liking having to ride in the trunk of Rock’s limo. Also, it doesn’t matter what Mankind thinks of his new shirt. Mankind: “I gotta steal that one sometime.”

Bradshaw vs. Bubba Ray Dudley

Faarooq and D-Von Dudley are here too. They start fighting (duh) and go to the floor without much trouble. Bubba sends him into the steps to take over but Bradshaw kicks him in the face back inside. The big clothesline drops Bubba as commentary tries to figure out why he has such a speech impediment. D-Von comes in for the fast DQ.

Big Boss Man is livid at Al Snow.

Here are Test and Stephanie McMahon for a chat. Stephanie calls out Linda McMahon and the Stooges for a special announcement, so here they are post haste. Apparently Stephanie and “Andrew” (still weird to hear) have set their wedding date for October 11, and all of the fans are invited (So do they get a ticket to the show?). Cue the Mean Street Posse and Terri Runnels to interrupt for a staredown, but Stephanie isn’t having that.

Cue Shane McMahon to call off the Posse, because the war with Test is over. With the Posse gone, Shane talks about how he owes Stephanie an apology, because she is a woman and not a baby anymore. He thought everything he was doing was the right thing but he was wrong. Go with his blessing and marry Andrew, but he better always do the right thing and treat her right. Test shakes his hand and Shane hugs Stephanie. Well that was sudden.

The Rock, with Mankind, seems to flirt with Lilian Garcia, before sending her away. They’re ready to bury Big Show and Undertaker tonight. Mankind likes it as well, to the tune of Stayin Alive.

WWF Title: HHH vs. Kane

HHH, with Chyna (with sledgehammer), is defending. Kane (in the swanky inverted red and black gear) comes out with a blowtorch, which can’t end well. HHH and Chyna jump him as he enters but Kane clotheslines his way to freedom. Some right hands put HHH down in the corner and a clothesline lets Kane hammer away even more.

HHH gets in a single shot but dives into a choke, only to have Chyna say she can talk to X-Pac for Kane. The distraction lets HHH get in a low blow, followed by the jumping knee for two. Kane starts fighting up and hits a bulldog of all things, setting up the top rope clothesline. The facebuster cuts Kane off but the Pedigree is countered with a backdrop. The chokeslam connects but Chyna gets in a sledgehammer shot from behind. That’s enough for a Pedigree to retain the title.

Rating: B-. There were some shenanigans here, but some interference from a manager and a sledgehammer shot (which granted does sound rather ridiculous when you say it out loud) is rather minor by comparison. Kane is a star who can be put in a spot like this to make a top villain sweat and that is what he was here. HHH racks up another pin over another former World Champion though and that’s a good idea for his title reigns.

Post match here are Undertaker and Kane to chase off Chyna and HHH, followed by a stare at Kane.

Ken Shamrock is looking for Chris Jericho. You might try the ring as you have a scheduled match.

Ken Shamrock vs. Chris Jericho

Hold on though as there is no Jericho, so Shamrock has to threaten to come to the back and drag him out here. Shamrock goes up the ramp but Jericho’s music starts playing. Cue Jericho in the ring….in a shark cage, which is for Shamrock’s safety. Jericho shows us a photo of him putting Shamrock in the Walls last week but Shamrock takes the baseball bat that Jericho is carrying. Jericho calls for “Harold” to raise the cage, but we see the Fink arguing with Lilian Garcia in the back. Shamrock bends the cage bars open and pulls Jericho out, meaning the beating is on. Referees break it up and Jericho bails as there is no match.

During the break, Jericho fired Finkel and left without him.

Here is Jeff Jarrett, with Debra and Miss Kitty, for a chat. Jarrett says he is embarrassed to be in the ring with Chyna at Unforgiven, because women belong in the kitchen. He sees Fabulous Moolah in the front row so let’s have her get in the ring. Jarrett talks about how Moolah knew her place in her career and wouldn’t fight the men, but Moolah says it’s because they were scared of her. That’s good for a guitar shot to the head so Mae Young runs in as well, earning herself a Figure Four.

We get the debut of Val Venis’ latest video, where he talks about how unlike Steve Blackman, he doesn’t use instruments of pain. The woman next to him looks rather confused for most of this.

Tag Team Titles: Mankind/The Rock vs. Big Show/Undertaker

Rock and Mankind are defending in a Buried Alive match. Mankind goes after both of them at once before Rock shows up, as Mankind isn’t all that bright. Here’s the Rock to go after Undertaker, who gets sent face first into the steps. Back in (with Cole’s second “here comes the cavalry” in about a minute) and a double clothesline drops Show, but Undertaker breaks up the People’s Elbow.

That leaves Show to chokeslam Mankind and carry him to the grave as Rock hits Undertaker with a chair. Mankind is almost in the grave when Rock comes up with a low blow to put Show in instead. Undertaker makes the save but gets punched down the mound of dirt. With Rock and Undertaker fighting off, Show LAUNCHES Mankind off the stage and onto the mound, sending him bouncing into the grave (I’ve seen that for years now and it’s still an amazing sight).

Since that’s a huge spot, Mankind comes up with Mr. Socko to knock Show out and put him in the grave instead. Mankind starts pouring in the dirt and we cut to Rock and Undertaker fighting in the back. Cue HHH to jump Rock so Undertaker leaves them to it. Kane comes in to beat up HHH and then shrugs off Chyna’s chair to the back.

Undertaker is back in the arena and there’s a shovel to Mankind’s back to put him in the grave….but he pops right back out. Show smothers him down on the ground and goes to bury him until Rock makes a save this time. Then it’s HHH out with a sledgehammer to….Show, allowing him to bury Mankind. After several shovels full, the referee calls it and Show/Undertaker win the titles.

Rating: B-. This was such a weird match as it felt like a game show more than a fight. The Mankind toss was awesome (he was AIRBORNE) but other than that it was a bunch of saves from putting someone in a grave and covering them with dirt. There is only so much you can get out of that because it is such an insane (and messy) match, but it kept my interest.

Post match HHH buries Mankind even more as an ambulance arrives…..and Steve Austin is in the back. The big beatdown is on and Austin throws HHH in the back of the ambulance. Austin drives it outside and jumps into the cab of a semi truck to ram the ambulance (So that’s where Hogan got the idea for Rock in 2002.) a few times to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. These shows are all over the place with such a big collection of insanity that it can be difficult to remember what happens. That being said, this show had me wanting to see what was next and the insanity was limited. They still need to announce something for Unforgiven already, but you can probably figure out where a lot of this is going. Just come up with a main story already instead of everyone going after HHH, who is going after a bunch of people as well. For now though, nice Smackdown, with Austin being back being a big pickup.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: April 28, 2008
Location: IZOD Center, East Rutherford, New Jersey
Attendance: 17,166
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re done with Backlash and the big story is that HHH won the Raw World Title from Randy Orton in the four way main event. That alone should be enough to make things interesting tonight but we also have Shawn Michaels defeating Batista after taking advantage of his own knee injury. That sounds like it could go somewhere, so let’s get to it.

Here is Backlash if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of HHH winning the Raw World Title in last night’s four way elimination match.

Here is HHH to get things going, complete with big shiny belt. HHH declares The Age Of Orton officially dead and now we pause because they are chanting his name. Eight months ago, he wasn’t sure if he was ever going to return to the ring and now he knows that The Game is back. Cue Randy Orton to interrupt and he isn’t overly pleased. Orton talks about how the odds were stacked against him last night but HHH brings up Orton being all confident before the match. Now he’s the victim? Orton: “The victim of my own success. I was so dominant they wouldn’t put me against anyone one on one.”

HHH thinks Orton liked the idea of hiding behind these multiman matches but Orton has already got the rematch set for Judgment Day in less than three weeks. HHH says he bragged too, but in his case, it was the truth. Orton gets in his face and is knocked out with a single shot, sending Orton to the floor. He’ll just have his rematch clause tonight instead. They got to the point pretty fast here.

Post break, the title match is on.

Mickie James/Maria/Ashley/Michelle McCool/Cherry/Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix/Melina/Jillian Hall/Natalya/Victoria/Layla

Backlash rematch and it’s a big brawl before the bell rings. We settle down for the opening bell and Beth decking Kelly from behind. Beth powers her straight into the corner and hands it off to Victoria. The spinning side slam is countered into a headscissors but Victoria takes her straight into the corner. Melina’s running/screaming hip attack in the corner gets two and Jillian comes in, only to miss her handspring elbow. Mickie comes in to clean house and gets a bridging rollup to pin Jillian.

Rating: D+. Well they made good time, but a twelve woman match where half of them don’t get in isn’t exactly a rampaging success. They didn’t have time to do anything here and this would have been better off as a two on two tag match instead. There is some talent in the division, but with only the Raw title to fight over, it leaves a lot of them without much to do save for appearances like this one.

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Robbie McCallister

Rory is here with Robbie and the beating is on quickly. The Clothesline from JBL finishes at around a minute, which has me wondering if this was punishment for Robbie popping up in the crowd at Impact around Wrestlemania the previous month.

Post match JBL grabs a headset and blames John Cena for not winning the title last night. He wants the winner of tonight’s title match.

Paul London/Brian Kendrick vs. Trevor Murdoch/Lance Cade

Cade and London start things off with Cade hitting a high backdrop for an early two. Murdoch comes in to hammer away as the fans are dubbing this boring. London slips away and brings in Kendrick to pick up the pace, with Murdoch screaming at Cade. Murdoch comes in and is promptly rolled up for the pin.

Post match Murdoch grabs the mic, gets on the announcers’ table, and since I Got Friends In Low Places. Cade is adequately confused by the whole thing.

We look at Shawn Michaels tweaking his knee last night against Batista but rolling him up for the pin anyway.

Paul Burchill/Katie Lea Burchill vs. Super Crazy

Before the match, Katie thanks William Regal for making this a handicap match. Paul wastes no time in taking Crazy down, allowing Katie to hit a running boot to the face. Crazy avoids a charge in the corner though and kicks Paul down. The moonsault misses though and Katie’s missile dropkick sets up the curb stomp to give Paul the face pin. Short and to the point here.

Randy Orton is asked if he has second thoughts about using his rematch clause tonight. Orton: “No.”

And now, the official coronation of William Regal (thank goodness it isn’t one of those knockoffs). Regal, on the throne in the ring, says (in between some hardcore WHATing) he will now be General Manager AND King because he has earned both titles. You will have no choice but to respect and fear him, because he is your ruler, better and…..here’s Mr. Kennedy to interrupt.

Kennedy can’t congratulate Regal for the win because he wasn’t even in the tournament in the first place. He hits the catchphrase but Regal cuts him off and says get an appointment/make an apology. Kennedy teases an apology before switching to his catchphrase instead. Regal punches him down and referees have to make it up. Kennedy felt more like a star here and I was feeling the hype that he has had for so long here. This worked, and that’s kind of a rare thing for Kennedy these days.

Cody Rhodes vs. Santino Marella

Hardcore Holly and Carlito are here too. Before the match, Santino says he DOES NOT like the fake Italians on the Sopranos, which is set right here in New Jersey. Santino actually knocks him down and hammers away a bit to start before dodging a high crossbody. We hit the chinlock for a bit before a hard hiptoss (yes a hiptoss) of all things gets two. Rhodes fights up and hits a quick DDT for the pin.

Rating: C-. Not much to this one, but the bigger problem continues to be how long these teams have been feuding. There are other teams around, but for some reason these two have to feud for the better part of ever. Rhodes and Holly have already beaten them, so why are we still stuck on this feud?

Post match Cody mocks Santino’s accent and gets taken down with the Backstabber.

It’s time for the Highlight Reel and Chris Jericho is in a tuxedo. Jericho is here to present an award for the Best Actor in Sports Entertainment. The nominees are:

Mr. Fuji and the Magnificent Muraco in Fuji General
Michael Cole in Deliverance Part II (as in the infamous Heidenreich segment, complete with banjo music)
Shawn Michaels pretending to have a knee injury at Backlash

Why yes, Shawn does win, so here he is to accept, limping all the way down the ramp. Jericho wants an acceptance speech, but Shawn insists that he is really hurt. That doesn’t go well with Jericho, who thinks Shawn goes from good to bad faster than anyone. Shawn would even try superkicking him with the bad leg if there was no podium between them. That doesn’t get anything from Shawn, so Jericho has Shawn’s music play before leaving. I think we might be coming back to this one.

Santino Marella bumps into a woman he finds attractive….but it’s really Roddy Piper. Santino brings up the Goonies music video but Piper has no time for this. There’s your bizarre cameo of the week.

We recap HHH winning the Raw World Title last night.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Randy Orton

HHH is defending and we even get a weapons check to make it feel special. They fight over a lockup to start and go straight to the staredown. A shoulder puts HHH down and Orton grabs a headlock to grind away a bit. HHH is right back with a headlock of his own, followed by some aggressive arm cranking. Orton misses a charge into the post and the arm is suddenly in bad shape. The arm is sent into the barricade but Orton’s legs are fine enough to score with a kick on the way back in.

We take a break and come back with Orton hammering away (with the good arm) in the corner. A dropkick gives Orton two and we hit the chinlock. Orton grabs a suplex and gets in the circle stomp to keep things slow. The big knee drop gets two as JR says Orton isn’t looking to make a mistake. How does one exactly “look to make a mistake”?

Anyway they head outside with HHH being sent into the steps for two, meaning we’re right back to the chinlock. HHH fights up but charges into a boot, allowing Orton to load up a blocked RKO. The facebuster and a clothesline put Orton down but he’s right back with a powerslam for two of his own.

The backbreaker gives Orton two more, only to have HHH crotch him on top. There’s the superplex for a delayed HHH two but the Pedigree and RKO are both countered. HHH grabs the crossface….and we go to the back, where William Regal says he isn’t having this disrespect. The fans who booed him earlier don’t deserve to see this match so the feed is cut. JR and King keep doing commentary as the black screen takes us out.

Rating: B-. That was certainly a unique ending but the match itself wasn’t that great on the way there. HHH and Orton have some chemistry together, but I’ve yet to see them really get to that epic match. The good thing is that this should get rid of the rematch clause for now, but you can almost guarantee another match at the pay per view. Some people just can’t get to that next level and save for maybe once before, that would apply to these two as well.

Overall Rating: C. This was a weird show as the Regal stuff and main event were both good, along with what feels like the start of Shawn vs. Jericho, but everything else was fast or bad. Regal going insane works rather well though, and we could be in for quite the run from him going forward. That makes for quite the different stretch of two hours, though it feels like we’re getting something of a sequel to Backlash at Judgment Day. That’s an odd way to go, but Backlash was rather good so it might work out very well.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: April 21, 2008
Location: BiLo Center, Greenville, South Carolina
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s a special three hour show as the King Of The Ring is back. The tournament was announced last week and now we get the whole thing wrapped up in one night. Other than that, it is the go home show for Backlash and that means it is time for the final push towards the four way match for the Raw World Title. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

King Of The Ring First Round: Chris Jericho vs. MVP

Non-title. MVP slugs away to start but Jericho drapes him ribs first onto the top. Jericho takes it to the floor but MVP hits something like a hanging Nightmare On Helm Street back inside. Something close to a seated abdominal stretch has Jericho in trouble but he’s right back up and hits a running shoulder. A big boot gives MVP two, only to get taken down with a clothesline as the back and forth continues. The Playmaker is broken up though and Jericho gets the Walls for the clean tap.

Rating: C. It was intense while it lasted but they had no other way out besides having the US Champion tap out? Losing to Jericho isn’t some huge upset but MVP already has a title match on Sunday so why have him lose here? I’ve never gotten the thinking behind this, though it doesn’t do the loser’s title any favors.

King Of The Ring First Round: CM Punk vs. Matt Hardy

They trade forearms to start and Punk blocks the Side Effect with some elbows to the head. Punk knocks him down into a chinlock before putting him on top. What looked to be a superplex is broken up and a middle rope elbow to the back of the head rocks Punk for a change. Back up and Punk’s running knee and bulldog get two so Punk loads up the GTS. Hardy reverses into a sunset flip attempt but Punk sits down on it for the pin to advance.

Rating: C+. This was another fast and to the point match, though they kept things going so qquickly that it was entertaining. At the same time, the US Title match at Backlash has taken quite the hit in the first twenty five minutes of the show. This one isn’t as bad as the champ losing, but the title match doesn’t have quite the shine anymore.

Here’s what Barack Obama vs. Hilary Clinton looks like in Smackdown vs. Raw 2008.

We look back at JBL/HHH/Randy Orton attacking each other last week.

The Raw World Title match is now a four way elimination match.

JBL says tonight is about crowning the King Of The Ring but he will be crowned champion on Sunday. There is even an article about him on the front page of the New York Times!

King Of The Ring First Round: Finlay vs. Great Khali

Hornswoggle is here with Finlay. Some shots to the knee manage to put Finlay down to start but Khali chokes him from the mat. A big boot drops Finlay so Hornswoggle tries to bring in the shillelagh. With that broken up, Khali wraps Finlay’s leg around the post and that’s a fast DQ.

Post match here is Big Show for the showdown with Khali. That’s enough to send Khali bailing to wait for Sunday. With Finlay being helped to the back, here is William Regal for the final first round match.

King Of The Ring First Round: Hornswoggle vs. William Regal

Regal Stretch finishes Hornswoggle in about 20 seconds.

Video on the European tour.

Here is Shawn Michaels for a chat. Shawn didn’t think he would be out here dealing with one of Ric Flair’s best friends in Batista. He needs to ask Batista something here though, so come on down. Cue Batista, with Shawn bringing up what Chris Jericho said on Smackdown: did Batista want to be the one to retire Flair? Batista asks if it would be easier if the answer was yes. Either way, Batista is ending this at Backlash, but Shawn promises to show Batista why he is the Heartbreak Kid. Shawn is willing to do anything to win, so be ready. Violence is teased but they leave.

In light of the Pennsylvania Presidential Primary, Hilary Clinton joins us and says the election is starting to sound like King of the Ring. This time though, the Last Woman Standing may be a woman. Whoever wins will have a lot of challenges to overcome but she will stay in the political arena and won’t come after Randy Orton. She might drop the People’s Elbow though. This was as eye roll inducing as you could have imagined but points for actually showing up.

Hardcore Holly vs. Carlito

Cody Rhodes and Santino Marella are here too. Holly starts fast and hammers him into the corner. An atomic drop hits Carlito but he knees Holly in the ribs and takes over. We hit the chinlock with a knee in the back before an elbow to the face cuts off Holly’s comeback. The Alabama Slam is countered into the Backstabber to give Carlito the pin.

Rating: C-. This was as interesting as a Carlito vs. Hardcore Holly match to set up Carlito/Santino Marella vs. Holly/Cody Rhodes Tag Team Title match was going to be. This feud is pretty horrible, but it isn’t like the titles have felt important in a good while. Just find some better teams. It really shouldn’t be that hard.

Post match Santino promises to win the Tag Team Titles but Cody clears the ring.

HHH promises to win the title at Backlash.

King Of The Ring Semifinals: CM Punk vs. Chris Jericho

Non-title. Jericho grabs a headlock takeover and gets absolutely nowhere. Back up and Punk starts kicking away at the leg but gets dropped ribs first across the top rope. Jericho stays on the ribs until a hammerlock lariat gives Punk two. They go to a pinfall reversal sequence and Punk’s snap powerslam gets two more. The Walls have Punk right back down, sending him over to the rope for the break. Jericho goes up but gets kicked in the head, setting up the GTS for the clean pin.

Rating: C+. It was fun while it lasted but they got out of there really fast. Maybe their time was cut short, but the Intercontinental Champion losing in about six and a half minutes completely clean is a strange thing to see. That being said, Punk is getting a push here and points for trying to make someone new.

Senator Barack Obama says it’s a chance to change business as usual and get rid of people trying to become King (of the ring). Do you smell what Barack is cooking? He certainly has charisma.

King Of The Ring Semifinals: William Regal vs. Finlay

This should be fun and Finlay is very banged up coming in. Finlay sends him outside but his band knee is sent into the steps. Back in and Regal goes after the knee like a true villain (or smart wrestler) should. Finlay forearms away and a backslide (which falls apart on the way down) gets two. Regal’s running knee knocks Finlay silly though and the Regal Stretch knocks Finlay out to send Regal to the finals.

Rating: C. Another short match here, which continues the issue of a one night tournament needing to be rushed, even if there is an extra hour. Regal and Finlay could have a heck of a fight if given the chance, but three and a half minutes with Finlay being banged up coming in isn’t going to allow that. Instead we got Regal being a villain who exploited an injury, which might just be a bit better.

Senator John McCain uses a bunch of wrestling catchphrases and promises to introduce Osama Bin Laden to the Undertaker and tells us to vote. All three of these were pretty bad, but they did take the time to appear.

Backlash rundown.

John Cena is tired of talking and wants to fight. He talks about how he knows he has a chance on Sunday and the other three have to go through him.

WWE has helped with a literacy program. Nothing wrong with that.

Barack Obama vs. Hilary Clinton

Let’s get this over with as I’m sure Vince McMahon finds this hilarious. Clinton comes out to Real American and has a Bill Clinton impersonator. Before the match, Hilary cuts a promo for the Hilamaniacs and there is an eerie silence as she stops to bicker with Bill. Fans: “MONICA! MONICA!”

Obama, with big fake ears, comes out to Rock’s theme. His Rock impression isn’t well received but Bill cuts him off. Hilary jumps him to start and gets two off a slam into a legdrop. The Rock Bottom connects (Bill: “Honey are you go???) but Bill breaks up the People’s Elbow (Bill: “I did not have inappropriate conduct.”). Umaga finally comes in and the match is thrown out.

Umaga wrecks both of them, ending one of the dumbest segments that probably had a certain someone howling backstage.

Here are a bunch of the more popular Divas for a chat. Last week, Mickie James won the Women’s Title from Beth Phoenix, which they never thought possible. Mickie is brought out for a chat, plus a lot of hugging. Cue the evil Divas, with Beth Phoenix promising to get the title back. McCool slaps Beth and the big brawl is on.

Mr. Kennedy is back next week. He was gone?

King Of The Ring: William Regal vs. CM Punk

Regal takes him into the corner to start and hammers away but Punk sends him into the buckle. A belly to back suplex drops Punk for two and Regal cranks on both arms. Punk finally slips out and kicks him in the head. It’s too early for the GTS though as Regal grabs the rope and knees him in the head. The Regal Stretch makes Punk tap and Regal is King.

B: C. So that’s the tournament, with the longest match not even breaking seven minutes. This was another match that just came and went because there wasn’t time to do much. Punk’s ribs were tied throughout the matches he wasn’t even in the ring for fifteen minutes throughout the night. I like Regal winning though, as he is great when given a chance to showcase everything he can do. Just do better with the tournament next time, or stretch it out to a second week.

Post match Regal sits on the throne and we’re off to a break rather quickly.

Here is Randy Orton for the main event, but first he says he is tired of everyone talking about taking his title. He has nothing to say except for listing off the shows where he retained.

Randy Orton/John Bradshaw Layfield/Chavo Guerrero/Edge vs. HHH/Kane/Undertaker/John Cena

That’s a pretty outstanding group of good guys. Edge tries to jump Undertaker to start and gets caught with a quick Old School. We take a break and come back with Edge charging into HHH’s spinebuster, allowing the diving tag to Cena. The Shuffle is broken up thanks to a Chavo low bridge though and it’s Orton coming in to kick him in the ribs.

JBL gets two off a neckbreaker as the villains start taking turns on Cena. Orton grabs the chinlock with a bodyscissors until Cena powers up for a ram into the corner. The tag brings in Kane and everything breaks down. Kane chokeslams Chavo but Edge comes in off a blind tag and hits a spear for the pin.

Rating: C+. This felt like a house show match where you get your big names in the ring to end the show. It worked for what it was, in that it previewed multiple pay per view title matches at once, though there was no reason to believe it was going to be anything great. Kane taking the fall when Chavo is there is a bit weird, but maybe they feel they have beaten him into the ground enough.

Post match we hit the parade of finishers, with Undertaker chokeslamming Orton and JBL to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a strange show in that they tried to pack in a lot and it was too overcrowded. Between the tournament, the political stuff and the build towards the pay per view, this felt like it needed to be about four hours, or two regular weeks, to make it work. What we got did work and they covered a lot, but it felt like it could have been that much better rather than just doing ok with everything. Cut some of this stuff out and let the show breathe a bit more and it’s that much better. Or just get rid of the Obama vs. Hilary match because that was an audience of one deal if I’ve ever seen one.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: April 7, 2008
Location: Times Union Center, Albany, New York
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re officially out of Wrestlemania season and the build to Backlash has begun. We should be in for some big stuff going forward, apparently including JBL coming after Randy Orton’s Raw World Title. They are going to need something to go with that, and Shawn Michaels vs. Batista might be on the list as well. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here is William Regal to get things going and he wastes no time in bringing out Randy Orton. Regal isn’t done and introduces Orton’s new #1 contender for Backlash: JBL. With Regal starting to hype up the match, here is HHH to interrupt. HHH isn’t clear on something and asks if Regal is out of his frickin mind.

He doesn’t understand how he is being left out of the title match, as Orton pinned John Cena at Wrestlemania. Also, how does JBL, who was a commentator for two years, get a title shot for beating up Hornswoggle? Regal makes a handicap match for tonight, with HHH having to beat JBL and Orton to get into the Backlash title match. They kept this to the point, but Orton vs. JBL is going to have to be changed due to reasons of bleck.

Umaga vs. Val Venis

Venis slugs away to start and avoids a charge into the corner. That’s about it for the offense though as Umaga runs him over and puts on the nerve hold. The Samoan drop plants Venis and it’s the running hip attack in the corner. Umaga nails the Samoan Spike for the fast pin.

Rating: D+. Total destruction here and that shouldn’t be a big surprise. Umaga needed a win to get him back on the right track after the pretty terrible Wrestlemania match against Batista. Venis is capable of making anyone look better, even if it is in near complete squash. This did what it needed to do and they did it in a hurry.

Mickie James/Ashley vs. Melina/Jillian Hall

Jillian kicks at Ashley to start but gets caught in a quick hurricanrana. Melina gets in a cheap shot to take over and a wheelbarrow slam/faceplant combination gets two. A missed charge in the corner lets Ashley get over for the tag to Mickie so house can be cleaned. Melina hits the double knees in the corner to cut James off though as everything breaks down. The Mickie DT finishes Melina to end a rather sloppy match.

We look back at Ric Flair having to retire and then his farewell.

Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch vs. Brian Kendrick/Paul London

London and Kendrick jump them at the bell with Kendrick being sent outside fast. London is fine enough to hit a dropsault for two on Cade but a hard clothesline puts him down. Murdoch kicks away at London and Cade grabs a neck crank. With that broken up, London avoids a charge and it’s back to Kendrick to clean house. Cade clotheslines him down but a small package gives Kendrick the pin.

Rating: C. Just a quick match here with Kendrick and London continuing to get back on track. They needed to win a few matches after losing over and over so this is going to help boost them back up. It was a quick win, but that’s better than losing over and over. Now just get them into the title picture, as a handful of wins is enough to get them there.

Randy Orton tells JBL to stay out of his way out there.

HHH vs. Randy Orton/John Bradshaw Layfield

If HHH wins, he’s in the Backlash title match and William Regal is at ringside. Orton and JBL are already in the ring, which is quite the weird way to treat the pay per view main event. HHH and Orton punch each other to start with HHH having to fight out of the corner. JBL comes in and gets stared down by HHH, which makes him back off.

A headlock takeover takes JBL over and things slow down a bit (yes, during the JBL portion believe it or not). Some double teaming takes HHH down for a change and the Orton knee drop gets two. HHH fights out of the corner but walks into a powerslam for two more. JBL grabs the sleeper but HHH fights out, bringing Orton back in. The RKO is loaded up, only to have HHH reverse into the Pedigree for the fast pin.

Rating: C+. This was kind of a weird one but the action worked well enough. What matters is getting HHH into the pay per view title match, as JBL vs. Orton was never going to happen. Other than that, you have the Cena factor and I’m sure he’ll be involved in something. For now though, it was a good way to go for a bit of a twist.

Post match Regal is about to announce the triple threat but John Cena comes out to interrupt. Cena talks about how he’s beaten HHH and JBL (it’s been awhile for the latter) and he beat Orton at Backlash last year. He wants it to be a four way but Regal says Cena has to beat HHH and JBL in a triple threat match tonight to get in.

Hardcore Holly/Cody Rhodes vs. Carlito/Santino Marella

Non-title. Carlito works on Cody’s arm to start but Rhodes switches into a headlock. It’s quickly off to Holly to load up the Alabama Slam on Santino, with Carlito making a fast save. The referee isn’t counting Carlito’s illegal cover so Carlito drops a leg for two. Holly knocks him away so Santino comes back in, only to get kicked down. Cody comes back in to clean house, including crotching Santino on top. Carlito makes a save though and Santino’s saluting top rope elbow gets the pin.

Rating: D+. The fact that a team like Carlito and Santino are getting a clean win over the Tag Team Champions tells you what the titles mean right now. There is pretty much no one else available to fight for the titles and the division desperately needs some fresh blood. Granted that has been the case for a long time so I wouldn’t get my hopes up.

Cryme Tyme has some Wrestlemania merchandise for us, including some of Rocky Johnson’s soul (as scraped off of him), a signed copy of Maria’s Playboy (they stop and look for a bit and then decide the item is no longer available) and finally, a pair of Kim Kardashian’s underwear. Actually it wasn’t her dressing room though, and it turns out they belong to Mae Young. This team can be funny, but they can also be cringe inducing.

JBL comes up to HHH to talk about an alliance tonight, but HHH has his headphones in.

Beth Phoenix vs. Maria

Non-title. Maria slaps her in the face to start and manages a kick to the head, only to be slammed into the ropes. Beth sends her ribs first into the post, setting up a Boston crab…with Beth bending Maria backwards into a backbreaker (that was cool). Maria is back up with an awkward knee to the ribs and a high crossbody. The reverse DDT gives Maria two but Beth hits a hot shot into the fisherman’s buster for the pin. What did Maria do to get this kind of losing streak with the Playboy deal?

It’s time for the Highlight Reel with Chris Jericho bringing out Batista and Shawn Michaels. They all stood in this ring and cried over Ric Flair retiring and that is all because of Shawn. It was Flair who asked for Mr. Wrestlemania though and Jericho shows us Shawn missing the Asai moonsault onto the announcers’ table. Jericho brings up “I’m sorry, I love you” but Batista cuts them off and says everyone is calling out Shawn on what he did.

Batista hates what Shawn did but Shawn says Flair didn’t pick Batista because he didn’t have what it took. Shawn talks about the battles he has gone through over the years, which is what Batista says made trust him. Batista says Shawn did the wrong thing at Wrestlemania but Shawn is sick of being blamed. Batista glares at him and walks off.

Backstage, William Regal says that Vickie Guerrero has made Batista vs. Shawn Michaels for Backlash. Randy Orton complains about how his singles match has grown, so next week in England, Orton can face….Regal himself. Ok then.

John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield/HHH

Again, no entrances for JBL and HHH. JBL kicks Cena in the head to start fast and grabs a DDT for a fast two. The slow beating continues but JBL won’t tag HHH in, despite his requests. A shoulder drops Cena for two as this is one sided so far. Cena gets thrown outside and a clothesline drops him again.

We hit the neck crank back inside as Randy Orton is now ringside to cheer the team on. Cena fights up and finally hits a clothesline to start the comeback and bring the fans back to live. HHH still won’t tag in as Cena hits the ProtoBomb but JBL breaks up the FU. Another big boot drops Cena again but HHH has finally had enough and brawls with JBL to the floor. Orton gets hit as well so he comes in and RKO’s JBL, allowing Cena to get the pin (HHH doesn’t seem to mind).

Rating: C. This was all about the build towards the Backlash main event, but HHH not wanting to keep Cena out of the match was a little strange. He already proved he can beat Orton and JBL on his own so why would he want to have Cena added in as a wild card? Even if he’s angry at JBL, it’s rather out of character for HHH to let his emotions get the better of himself like that.

Overall Rating: C-. Not their strongest show here as the build to the Backlash main event was different, but not exactly the most interesting way. Other than that, the biggest story is about avenging Ric Flair, because six months of “no, please don’t retire Ric Flair” just wasn’t enough. Batista apparently wishes Shawn had laid down for Flair at Wrestlemania and is willing to fight him over it, as Flair just can’t go away despite not being here. Not the greatest show here, but they’re still resetting things a bit after Wrestlemania.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: March 31, 2008
Location: Amway Arena, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We are finally done with Wrestlemania and the big story on the Raw side is the retirement of Ric Flair. Shawn Michaels, who does in fact love him despite making apologies for it, superkicked Flair to end his career last night in a rather emotional moment. Other than that, Randy Orton is still Raw World Champion but we can worry about what he is doing at Backlash later. It’s the Raw after Wrestlemania so this should be different. Let’s get to it.

Here is Wrestlemania if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Ric Flair losing to Shawn Michaels in a big, emotional moment.

Here is John Cena…..’s music to get us going. There’s no Cena, so we get HHH…..’s music instead, but no HHH. Instead here is Randy Orton in person to get things going. Orton talks about how no one gave him a chance going into Wrestlemania and the question was all about who was going to pin him to win the title. No one ever wanted to give him any credit but now they have to show him respect. He lists off all of the people he has beaten and says we are now in the Age Of Orton.

Cue JBL of all people to say he deserves the next title shot. Orton’s entire title reign has been about luck while JBL beat up Finlay and Hornswoggle at Wrestlemania. Orton can’t beat him and never will be able to do so. JBL announces his candidacy for the title and leaves, with Orton being livid. Cue Matt Hardy through the crowd to go after Orton with referees breaking it up.

Post break Matt Hardy rants to William Regal about how he wants Orton in the ring tonight.

Cryme Tyme vs. Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch

Cryme Tyme is back after being fired a few months ago. Cade hammers on Shad to start but a few shots break that up. JTG comes in for two off an Oklahoma roll but Cade blasts him with a clothesline. Cade drops Murdoch onto JTG for two more and the beating is on in the corner. Then Cade misses a charge into the corner and gets rolled up for the fast pin. Out of nowhere ending but the fans popped hard for Cryme Tyme’s return.

Video on Ric Flair’s career, which is still an awesome look back.

Here is a fairly somber Shawn Michaels for a chat. Shawn says he is a bit conflicted here, as he was asked to be Mr. Wrestlemania last night and he isn’t sure how he feels about that. He had a job to do last night and loved and respects Ric Flair to do anything less than his best. Now the greatest career in wrestling is over and he has to live with it. Shawn: “Lucky me.” And with that, he leaves.

Post break, William Regal tries to console Shawn, saying it had to be done and it should have been a long time ago. Regal leaves, and Batista is seen glaring at Shawn.

Brian Kendrick/Paul London vs. Cody Rhodes/Hardcore Holly

Non-title. Cody and Kendrick have a feeling out process to start with Kendrick going to the ropes to escape the wristlock. Holly comes in and actually gets forearmed back by London. That’s about the extent of the odd though as Holly unloads on him with chops in the corner. Everything breaks down and Cody bulldogs Kendrick down, with London making the save. Holly and London are sent outside, leaving Kendrick to grab an O’Connor roll for the pin.

Rating: C. I’m never wild on champions losing but Holly and Rhodes have no one to fight and London/Kendrick had a lot more miles left in them. Even if this is just a quick title program, it’s better than sitting around doing nothing or facing Cade and Murdoch again. Not exactly a classic but it did what it needed to do.

We look at the Ric Flair vs. Ricky Steamboat series.

Wrestlemania highlight package.

Chris Jericho vs. CM Punk

Non-title. They go straight to the strikes with Jericho getting the better of it, setting up the front facelock. An exchange of rollups gets two each and Jericho clotheslines him down for two more. A backsplash (with Jericho grinning evily) sets up a chinlock with a knee in Punk’s back. As Lawler tries to remember the name Jean Claude Van Damme, Jericho misses the triangle dropkick but is fine enough to knock Punk off the apron.

Punk manages a neck snap across the top and the springboard clothesline hits Jericho in the back of the head. Punk’s dropkick misses but Jericho misses the Lionsault and bangs up his knee. Some kicks to the leg look to set up the GTS but Jericho reverses into the Walls attempt. With that not working, Jericho grabs the Codebreaker for the clean pin.

Rating: C+. That’s not a great start to Punk’s time as Mr. Money In The Bank but at least he has a get out of the midcard free card for later. Jericho is the Intercontinental Champion but still feels like he’s just kind of there. Granted just handing him the title because Jeff Hardy screwed up didn’t help things.

Ric Flair won the 1992 Royal Rumble.

Here is Big Show for a chat. Show congratulates Floyd Mayweather Jr. for needing a bunch of bodyguards, a steel chair and brass knuckles to remind the greatest fighter on the planet. For now though, Show is out here because of the Hall Of Fame. Ric Flair stood at the podium and said that despite facing Andre the Giant, Show was the greatest big man he ever faced. That meant the world to Show, who is going to go back to what he does best. He is going to make a promise….but gets cut off by Great Khali. We get the big showdown, Show tells him to get out of his face, and Khali does. Feels Backlashish.

Santino Marella is warming up before his anything goes match with Maria, who comes up and begs him to not go forward with the match. Santino mocks the Divas, saying they should be at home in the kitchen, making lunch and babies. He offers to let the match go in exchange for some other kind of release, earning a slap to the face. The match is on.

Matt Hardy vs. Randy Orton

Non-title. They go straight to the floor to start with Hardy getting the better of a brawl. Back in and Hardy sends him into the corner a few times before a neckbreaker gets two. We take a break and come back with Hardy fighting out of a chinlock so Orton slowly hammers away.

A belly to back superplex is broken up and Hardy’s moonsault press gets two. Hardy wins a slugout and grabs another neckbreaker. The middle rope legdrop doesn’t get to launch as Orton rolls outside, so Hardy dives onto him instead. There’s the Twist of Fate on the floor but it takes some time to get Orton back inside. So much time that Orton grabs the RKO back inside for the fast pin.

Rating: C+. Hardy may not be quite the biggest star in the world at this point but he can still wrestle a completely decent, if not better, match. It helps that he lost to the World Champion, which is hardly some career killer. Nice enough TV match here, with Hardy working hard and Orton getting a win to keep his momentum going.

Dusty Rhodes praises Ric Flair’s career.

JBL glares at Randy Orton.

Maria vs. Santino Marella

Anything goes. Santino shoves her down to start so here are mot of the Divas to beat him up (Victoria seems to be twisting his nipples). Maria adds the falling low blow headbutt and gets the pin.

Here is Ric Flair for his big farewell speech. Flair will never wrestle again but he is not sad about it. You should be happy that he got to have the greatest career of all time and lost to a great wrestler and better man. He has had more fun and loved all of us every day of his life. Flair thanks the fans and goes to leave, but here is HHH to interrupt (Flair is already in tears).

HHH says a lot of people want to say thank you, starting with himself of course. Now that being said, there are some other people backstage who want to say thank you. There was one group of guys in the back and since HHH was talking to them, his hand keeps creeping up into four fingers. Cue the Four Horsemen (Tully Blanchard, JJ Dillon, Arn Anderson, Barry Windham) and Flair is just done.

This is followed by Batista, Ricky Steamboat, Harley Race, Greg Valentine, Dean Malenko, Chris Jericho, John Cena (maybe not the best time for “Your time is up”), Flair’s family, and Shawn Michaels (with the camera catching a quick glare from Batista). HHH points out the matching watches Shawn and Flair have before just having the rest of the locker room come out.

After a long celebration and a lot of hugging, we get some bonus footage from after the show (brilliantly titles AFTER THE SHOW) with Undertaker coming to the ring. The wrestlers in the aisle part so he can walk by (that’s such a cool visual) and the ring clears out. Undertaker does the full entrance, including taking off the coat and hat, as Flair isn’t sure what is going on.

We get the hug and Undertaker drops to his knee for the pose to Flair in a great show of respect. Leave The Memories Alone plays and even Vince McMahon comes out for a hug of his own (despite starting all of this). Vince yanks Flair’s arm to hold it up for the posing before leaving the ring to Flair. The family gets back in and Flair gets to soak in a lot of cheering (and dropping the elbow/knee on his coat for old times’ sake) before walking up the aisle to his own music to end the show.

This was a very special moment and it felt like the kind of tribute that Flair deserved. Like him or not, Flair is one of the biggest names in modern wrestling and getting to see him getting this huge celebration was great. The amount of talent in the ring alone made this feel special, with the fact that they were there for one person making it even better. Awesome stuff and one of the best moments WWE has had in a long time.

Overall Rating: B. This was the post Wrestlemania Raw and while it didn’t have the big storyline moment, it did have the huge Flair tribute at the end and it felt like a special two hours. They can get to the bigger stuff next week, but for now we had a mixture of a deep breath after Wrestlemania and some stuff being set up for the future. Good show this week, with the Flair stuff more than carrying it to the next level.

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ECW On Sci Fi
Date: March 25, 2008
Location: Crown Coliseum, Fayetteville, North Carolina
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

It’s the final ECW before Wrestlemania and that means pretty much nothing around here. There is no title match set for Wrestlemania as it is going to be all about the battle royal. I’m not sure what that is going to leave us to do on this show but maybe they have one more week of nothing before things, at least hopefully, reset next week. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Hardcore Holly/Cody Rhodes/Kofi Kingston/Kane/Tommy Dreamer/Jesse & Festus/Jimmy Wang Yang/Shannon Moore/Jim Duggan/Val Venis/Jamie Noble vs. Great Khali/Miz/Chuck Palumbo/Matt Striker/Mark Henry/Snitsky/Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch/Brian Kendrick/Deuce N Domino/Elijah Burke

Because THIS is a good idea. This is all twenty four entrants into the battle royal thrown into a tag match, which makes me wonder how many people the aprons can hold. Cody rolls Kendrick up for a fast two and then backslides him for the same. It’s quickly off to Noble vs. Palumbo, with the latter grabbing a belly to back suplex.

Yang comes in off some of that Jung Dragons chemistry but gets suplexed for his efforts. A middle rope hurricanrana gets Yang out of trouble and it’s time for a parade of dives. We take a break and come back with everything breaking down, as you might have expected. Kofi dives onto Deuce N Domino and Holly gets to hit an Alabama Slam. Khali and Kane have finally had enough of this and start wrecking people. With the two of them down, Henry feeds Dreamer into a big boot from Snitsky for the pin.

Rating: C. This is one of those matches that isn’t about the action itself but rather telling you what you might be seeing on Sunday. In that sense it worked out well enough, but my goodness the battle royal might as well have about three people. Chavo almost has to lose at this point as there is just nothing to his title reign and someone else can take the title to hopefully do something with it.

Post match everyone gets in the ring for the huge staredown.

Boxing personalities talk about Big Show vs. Floyd Mayweather Jr.

Chavo Guerrero comes up to mock the injured Tommy Dreamer. A match is set for tonight, thanks to some insults to Colin Delaney (sure why not).

Shelton Benjamin vs. Carlito

Feeling out process to start with Carlito slugging away as Taz says he has been hit in the face with a ladder in a match but never had a ladder match. Benjamin skins the cat but Carlito snaps his throat across the top for a crash to the floor. We hit the chinlock back inside and the fans do not seem impressed. Benjamin fights up but gets knocked back into the corner as this isn’t exactly burning up the mat.

Another chinlock goes on but this time Benjamin electric chairs his way to freedom. Carlito is back with a neckbreaker for two and we hit the chinlock with a knee in Benjamin’s back. Benjamin finally makes the comeback and hits the overhead belly to belly. A neckbreaker gives Carlito two more but the Backstabber is countered into a buckle bomb. Paydirt is countered into a backbreaker to give Carlito two more but Benjamin catches him on top. A super Paydirt finishes Carlito off.

Rating: C-. These two were left out there to fill in as much time as they could and it didn’t exactly work. There were far too many chinlocks to get them through the match until Benjamin finally won in the end. This really didn’t work very well, but like everything else around here, none of that is going to matter by next week.

Video on the Raw World Title triple threat match.

Wrestlemania rundown.

The final inductee into the Hall of Fame Class: Gordon Solie.

Kelly Kelly/Stevie Richards vs. Mike Knox/Layla

The women actually wrestle to start with Kelly getting two. Knox gets in a cheap shot from the apron though and Layla takes over for a bit. The men come in and Richards swings away until the women getting in a fight distracts him. Knox grabs a swinging Downward Spiral for the fast pin.

Tommy Dreamer vs. Chavo Guerrero

Non-title and the battle royal participants are at ringside. Dreamer backdrops him to the apron and punches him out to the floor to start, with the unofficial lumberjacks sending Chavo back inside. Chavo sends him shoulder first into the post and we hit the front facelock. The fans think Chavo sucks, even as Dreamer fights up with a bulldog. Guerrero blocks something out of the corner so Dreamer settles for a neckbreaker. Dreamer gets crotched on top though and the frog splash gives Chavo the pin.

Rating: C-. And that’s another Chavo match these days, as they are still rather uninteresting with little going on that could make me care about the title. Dreamer making his comeback is always decent enough but there was only so much that can be done with a three minute match less than a week before Wrestlemania. Just get the title off of Chavo already because this reign is dragging down everything else.

Post match everyone gets inside and the fight is on to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. My goodness Wrestlemania needs to come and go already because this show is falling apart in a hurry. There is only so much that can be done when you have one important story and that one is in limbo due to the champion not having an opponent. Other than that, it is a bunch of people trying to fill in time and that is not going to work long, or even short, term.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: March 24, 2008
Location: Colonial Center, Columbia, South Carolina
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the go home Raw for Wrestlemania and that means we aren’t likely to see much of anything this week. The midcard will likely get some focus and the triple threat will probably do some staring, but other than that, I’m not sure how much of a risk WWE wants to put the starts into this week. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here is John Cena to get things going. Cena talks about how everything is coming to this Sunday when everything that we have gone through leads to one match. After everything else, Cena is looking pretty good to take the WWE Title….and here is Big Show to interrupt. Show promises to beat Floyd Mayweather Jr. at Wrestlemania, which will replace Hogan slamming Andre as the most iconic moment in WWE history.

Cue JBL to say his match will be memorable because there are no rules, meaning he can do anything he wants to Finlay. Cena: “I wasn’t listening to anything you said. I was thinking about how I beat your a** at Wrestlemania XXI.” Cue Randy Orton to interrupt, saying that some people have predictions about Wrestlemania, but no one thinks he is retaining the title. He feeds off of that doubt, and that is what people will be talking about after Wrestlemania.

Now it’s Umaga interrupting and actually taking the mic from Orton. Umaga says Batista and rants a lot until Cena says he is fluent in Samoan. Cena says Umaga talked about Orton being obsessed with boy bands but here is HHH to interrupt. HHH won’t say they’re wrong with everything they’re talking about, but Wrestlemania is about the WWE Title. It’s a good thing Wrestlemania is in an open air stadium because they would blow the roof off otherwise. Arguing ensues and here is William Regal to make the eight man No DQ main event, with Shawn Michaels and Ric Flair joining the good guys.

MVP/Carlito vs. CM Punk/Chris Jericho

MVP and Punk get things going with Punk quickly taking over and handing it off to Jericho. Carlito comes in as well and gets draped ribs first over the top as we take a break. Back with Jericho hitting the running crotch attack to Carlito but it’s too early for the Lionsault. Instead Jericho tries the Walls on an invading MVP but gets sent to the floor.

Back in and the double arm crank sets up a neckbreaker to give Carlito two. MVP grabs a neck crank but misses the running boot in the corner. It’s back to Punk to clean house as everything breaks down. Jericho comes in to try an enziguri but hits Punk by mistake, allowing MVP to grab the pin.

Rating: C. Take some people in the Money in the Bank ladder match, put them in a tag match and let them fight each other before the big match on Sunday. I’m not sure how much of an impact this is going to have, but how many other ways are there to build towards a ladder match? It also helps when you have this kind of talent in there, so the match was at least decent.

Mr. Kennedy promises to win Money In The Bank.

Video on Ric Flair, set to Leave The Memories Alone by Fuel.

Video on Big Show’s training regimen for his match with Floyd Mayweather Jr.

Great Khali vs. Hardcore Holly

Holly goes after him to start but gets caught with the usual. The chokebomb finishes for Khali without much difficulty.

Here is Ric Flair for a chat. He isn’t sure if he had Vince McMahon beat last week or not because Shawn Michaels had to interfere, despite Flair asking him not to. As of last week, Flair is losing respect for Shawn because he doesn’t think Shawn respects him. Flair invites Shawn out here right now, so here he is. Shawn is sorry to hear what Flair thinks, but Shawn could never lose respect for him.

The Flair that Shawn knows would always have backup and no matter what happens, Flair will always be the greatest of all time. Flair: “SHUT UP!” Flair goes on a rant about how he wants to prove he still has it….and whips out the NWA World Title. He first won the title in 1981 and if Shawn was 20 years younger, Shawn would have challenged him for it. Now it is 2008 and Flair has picked Shawn to show that he still has it one more time. Shawn promises to give him everything he has and on Sunday, Flair is getting in the ring with Mr. Wrestlemania.

That’s what Flair wants, but Shawn stops before leaving. Shawn talks about Old Yeller, and on Sunday, he is taking Flair out back and putting him out of his misery. That is WAY too far for Flair, who throws down the title and slaps Shawn in the face. Flair wants him to Old Yeller him right now, but Shawn promises to put Flair out of his misery and leaves. That is a direction for this story to go a long time before the match, but it is a different aspect to explore.

Video on Floyd Mayweather Jr. training to face Big Show.

We look at Big Show on Late Night With Conan O’Brien.

Maria vs. Melina

Beth Phoenix is here with Melina and trips Maria early on. That brings out Ashley to even things up, followed by Santino Marella. Jerry Lawler is so sick of Santino that he gets inside too and it’s six person tag time, as per William Regal.

Maria/Ashley/Jerry Lawler vs. Santino Marella/Melina/Beth Phoenix

We ring the bell and take a break (erg) before coming back with Lawler punching Santino out of the air. A backdrop and dropkick have Santino in more trouble so it’s off to Melina vs. Ashley. That doesn’t last long as Maria comes in for a headscissors but she walks into a spinebuster. Maria slaps Santino as the guys fight to the floor. Phoenix chop blocks Maria down and Lawler sends Santino back in, where he pins Maria in a hurry. This was kind of a weird mess.

HHH comes up to John Cena and promises to win the title. Cena doesn’t think so, because he never lost the title and wants it back.

John Legend is playing America the Beautiful at Wrestlemania.

Wrestlemania rundown.

Video on the Raw World Title match at Wrestlemania.

Randy Orton/JBL/Umaga/Big Show vs. John Cena/Shawn Michaels/Ric Flair/HHH

Michaels and Orton get things going with Orton taking him into the corner for some right hands. The armbar goes on but here is Finlay to beat up JBL and brawl with him up the aisle. Back with Umaga beating up Shawn as this is now 4-3. The running hip attack hits Shawn in the corner but here is Batista to take Umaga out in the aisle.

They fight to the back as well, leaving Show to beat up the good guys. House is cleaned but Show doesn’t think much of Orton tagging himself in. That means a chokeslam to Orton but HHH and Cena get in a fight on the floor. Flair goes for the Figure Four on Orton so Shawn punches him out. That earns Shawn a low blow and Flair Figure Fours Orton for the tap.

Rating: C. Much like the other tag match, there was nothing else to be done here other than throw people into a big match where no one is in there too long but it still feels big. In other words, it’s the last match on this show before Wrestlemania and this was about as good as it could have gone. If you ignore Flair beating the World Champion of course.

Overall Rating: C. There isn’t much that you can do here as the Wrestlemania card is all set up and WWE didn’t want to mess with anything. What matters is having me want to see Wrestlemania more than I did coming in and that’s only kind of the case. It’s a very skippable week, but none of that is going to matter in six days.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: February 25, 2008
Location: US Airways Center, Phoenix, Arizona
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re still on the Road to Wrestlemania and now we have a new participant in the Raw World Title match. Last week, John Cena defeated Randy Orton in a non-title match to make the title match a triple threat match. Other than that, we’re setting up some Money in the Bank participants so now we get to see who else gets to join. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of John Cena beating Randy Orton last week to get into the Wrestlemania title match, only to have HHH lay them both out.

Orton, Cena and HHH are in the ring for what seems to be a photo opportunity, as moderated by William Regal. With the photo taken, each one gets to say something so we can know their thoughts heading into the match. Cena goes first and says he was raised that if you have a problem with someone, you say it to their face.

With that, he gets in HHH’s face and thanks him for not throwing out last week’s match, allowing Cena to go to Wrestlemania. He does have a problem with the Pedigree, but HHH says he wants Cena in the ring at Wrestlemania. HHH thinks a lot of the fans liked the Pedigree and Cena better get used to it, because at Wrestlemania, he’s getting another one. Cena remembers HHH tapping out at Wrestlemania, which is enough for HHH to take off his jacket.

The staredown is on but Orton says one thing is going to remain the same: he is still WWE Champion. The two of them have come after him but he still has the title. You might even say THE CHAMP IS HERE! Orton says the two of them can’t do anything about it, which is enough for the fight to be on. With Orton sent outside, HHH punches Cena down but Orton is back in with the RKO to both of them. Orton poses, leaves, then poses again. Good segment to get everyone in the ring and doing something in less than ten minutes.

Post break Orton is in the back when he runs into Mr. Kennedy. Since Wrestlemania is right around the corner, Kennedy has been thinking about winning Money In The Bank and cashing in that night, so Orton loses no matter what. Orton promises violence if Kennedy tries.

Carlito/Santino Marella vs. Hardcore Holly/Cody Rhodes

Non-title and Maria is here with Carlito and Santino. Marella and Rhodes start things off with Rhodes slamming him down and dropping a knee. Rhodes gets sent into Carlito on the apron and Santino gets in a takedown. That’s enough for Carlito to come in and stomp away as Lawler is trying to get Maria to come sit next to him. A swinging neckbreaker drops Rhodes for two but he Russian legsweeps his way to freedom. Holly comes in to clean house as Lawler throws his crown at Maria to get her attention. The distraction lets Holly slam Marella off the top and hit the Alabama Slam for the pin.

Rating: C-. Well at least Lawler’s jabbering turned into a little something with the ending. I’m not sure why they didn’t just make this a title match for the sake of giving the champs a successful defense, especially when it’s Carlito/Marella. The match was short and to the point, which was mainly about Maria, who is higher profile than the four people in the match at the moment.

We recap Big Show agreeing to fight Floyd Mayweather Jr. last week.

We go to the Wrestlemania press conference, with Mayweather vs. Big Show confirmed for the show. Mayweather, standing on something, had a staredown with Show, who promised to explain pain.

William Regal is happy with the controversy and promises more of it when Mr. Kennedy and Randy Orton team up to face John Cena and HHH tonight. Chris Jericho comes in to mock Regal’s hair and offer him some tea (in a seven year old call back) before getting to the point: he wants in Money In The Bank. Regal is cool with that, but Jericho has to qualify against Jeff Hardy. Oh and it’s next. Cool with Jericho, but Regal’s shirt and tie aren’t.

Money In The Bank Qualifying Match: Jeff Hardy vs. Chris Jericho

Non-title and Hardy is already qualified but doesn’t seem to lose anything if Jericho wins. Feeling out process to start with Jericho going after the arm so Hardy mule kicks his way to freedom. A high crossbody gives Jericho two and a suplex is good for the same. The enziguri is countered into a catapult over the top but they both dive back in for a standoff as we take a break.

Back with Jericho cranking on both arms and then punching Hardy down for two. They both try crossbodies and crash to give us a double knockdown. It’s Hardy up first to knock Jericho into the corner, where he avoids a bulldog to really take over. The fans are behind Jericho as he breaks up a Whisper In The Wind, which is broken up as well so Hardy’s second attempt works just fine.

Hardy loads up a hurricanrana but gets countered into the Walls, sending Hardy over to the rope. Jericho gets dropped again but is fine enough to avoid the Swanton. The Lionsault connects for two so Jericho tries the Walls again. With that broken up, Jericho grabs a rollup for the fast pin.

Rating: B-. These two having a good match is no surprise whatsoever and they had the time to make it work. I still don’t know why Hardy needed to take a fall here when he was already in the ladder match, but at least Jericho has something to do at Wrestlemania. You know, because he was stuck in the cold otherwise.

Here is Vince McMahon to discuss Hornswoggle’s beating last week. Vince says last week was a mistake, as Hornswoggle was beaten into oblivion by JBL. Therefore, he apologizes to Hornswoggle and wants JBL out here right now. A rather nervous looking JBL comes out and Vince demands an apology for taking it too far last week.

JBL apologizes….for not doing it sooner. See, he has it on good advice that Hornswoggle is NOT Vince’s son, but rather Finlay’s. Hornswoggle didn’t know, but Finlay knew the entire time and JBL has the documentation to prove it. Now JBL is going to make Finlay pay. Well that moved things forward fast, and it’s only a few months too late.

John Cena comes in to see HHH, who says to save the “we don’t like each other but we have to work together”. HHH wants to go out there and win because that is what he does best. Cena feels the same and tells HHH to watch his own back.

Umaga vs. DH Smith

Smith pounds away to start for a grand total of no avail. A splash, the running hip attack and the Samoan Spike finish Smith off in a hurry. Total squash.

We go to William Regal’s office where the Burchills are impressed with Umaga. Regal says he’s perfect, as he has received a challenge from Vickie Guerrero for a Raw vs. Smackdown showdown at Wrestlemania. Katie Lea thinks Paul would be better, but Regal needs to see more first. The Burchills go to leave, but Paul comes back to say Katie might like Regal.

Lance Cade vs. Shawn Michaels

Trevor Murdoch is here with Cade. They start fast with Cade hitting something like a Side Effect but Michaels gets up before Cade can hit anything else. Shawn misses the top rope elbow but manages to pull Cade into the Crossface. That’s enough for Murdoch to run in for the DQ.

Rating: C-. This felt like an excuse to get Shawn in the ring and that is probably leading somewhere with Ric Flair. Other than that, it is kind of sad to see Cade and Murdoch reduced to almost nothing. WWE doesn’t have many tag teams so why have one of them turn into such an unimportant pair?

Post match Shawn cleans house and has a bloody nose. Cue Ric Flair to interrupt (well kind of, as Shawn was just standing there) and Shawn immediately pays respect. Flair can’t believe what an honor it is to be the first active wrestler in the Hall of Fame. The one thing he wants to do to make it even better is to wrestle Shawn Michaels at Wrestlemania.

Shawn brings up the “you lose, you’re done” stipulation and he doesn’t want to be the one to end Flair’s career. Flair doesn’t like Shawn’s tone because who says Flair would be losing? All of the respect that Shawn gave him last week means nothing if Shawn doesn’t give him this match. That’s enough for Shawn and he’s in. Well that didn’t take much of a push. They leave together and everything is cool.

Mike Adamle announces the next inductees into the Hall of Fame: High Chief Peter Maivia and Rocky Johnson. This would be in no way a gift to get the Rock to be happy with the company.

Lawler announces Bunnymania: Maria/Candice Michelle vs. Beth Phoenix/Melina.

We get a behind the scenes look at Maria’s Playboy shoot.

John Cena/HHH vs. Mr. Kennedy/Randy Orton

Cena and HHH clear the ring to start and we take a break less than thirty seconds in. Back with HHH sending Kennedy into the corner and Cena coming in to do the same. HHH tags himself back in and throws a crotch chop at Cena, allowing Kennedy to get in a cheap shot. Orton comes in and stomps away before dropping a knee for two.

We hit the chinlock to keep HHH in trouble before Orton sends him out to the apron. HHH finally kicks Kennedy down but Orton is right there to block the hot tag to Cena. The RKO is blocked though and HHH calls into the tag off to Cena to clean house. Orton has to break up the FU on Kennedy so HHH takes Orton outside, leaving Kennedy to tap to the STFU.

Rating: C. Totally run of the mill main event style tag match but so much of it was during the break that there wasn’t much to be seen. You can only get so much out of a match that only had about eight minutes of TV time and there was no reason for anyone but Kennedy to take the fall. The triple threat match is looking good, but this wasn’t the best way to set it up.

Post match Cena and HHH have a staredown, allowing Kennedy to Mic Check Cena to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Well, the wrestling wasn’t great, but they have Wrestlemania in sight and a good portion of the card is either set or all but set. That being said, you can only get so much out of a show with almost nothing in the way of very good action. WWE needs to find a way to do both or the next month could get pretty rough in a hurry. For now though, this was just ok and that’s not the best way to get to Wrestlemania.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: February 4, 2008
Location: Frank Irwin Center, Austin, Texas
Attendance: 13,552
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

So we are firmly into the build for No Way Out, which will feature John Cena challenging Randy Orton for the Raw World Title, plus an Elimination Chamber match for the Raw World Title shot at Wrestlemania. Thankfully we’re only getting the build toward one Elimination Chamber match, which should fill in most of this week. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Randy Orton is in the ring to start things off and it looks like we’ve got a contract signing. Orton recaps the setup of his title match with John Cena at No Way Out, which is Cena’s Royal Rumble title shot. That’s not good enough for Orton though, which is why he wants a contract signed so Cena has no way out. Orton’s lawyers have already signed the contract and he has signed it, so get Cena out here to sign it too.

After a quick walk through the back, here is Cena to quite the ovation. Cena wastes no time in signing and Orton is rather pleased, because the match is on no matter what happens to Cena, including in his arm wrestling match with Mark Henry tonight. Cue Henry for a distraction so the RKO can lay Cena out. They certainly didn’t waste time here.

Post break, Henry and Orton deny planning anything in advance. Violence is promised for later tonight.

Kelly Kelly/Mickie James vs. Beth Phoenix/Victoria

Kelly goes after Victoria to start and manages a backslide, which has commentary far too impressed. Mickie comes in to go after Beth but gets pulled off the top, which might be a knee injury. A guillotine works a bit better for Mickie but Beth powers her into the corner. Everything breaks down and Mickie hits a tornado DDT to finish Victoria.

Mickie wants the title.

William Regal tells Hornswoggle to get ready to join Vince McMahon’s special club. Regal: “I’m in it!”

Here is Shawn Michaels, with JR saying HHH isn’t here tonight due to a family emergency. Shawn talks about how close he got to winning the WWE Title last year at Wrestlemania but he doesn’t want to be second place. He is ready to go back this year so everyone in the Elimination Chamber is on notice. Shawn: “Friend, family and Umaga….whatever he is, he’s on notice too!”

Cue Chris Jericho to interrupt to say he respects Shawn and how much he loved their Wrestlemania match. But then Shawn suggested he is going to win the Elimination Chamber and that’s too far. Jericho has been inside the Chamber three times and knows what it takes to make it to the main event of Wrestlemania. Cue Jeff Hardy to interrupt to say that he’ll be going to the main event of Wrestlemania for the first time.

Now it’s JBL interrupting to say he gets what he wants. He has bought Umaga to get him to the main event of Wrestlemania….so here is Umaga to interrupt. After staring down the good guys, Umaga turns to JBL and backs him into the corner, which brings out Snitsky, to say the other five have had their chances. Fans: “BRUSH YOUR TEETH!”

Shawn doesn’t care for threats and mocks Snitsky’s teeth before hitting him in the face. The brawl is on and we probably have a six man for later. Indeed as William Regal comes out to make the six man tag. This took a long time to get to the point and was mainly there to get all six of the Elimination Chamber participants out there.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Super Crazy

Kennedy dropkicks the knee out to start and hammers away at the leg. The knee is twisted back and then around the post but Crazy uses the free leg to kick Kennedy in the head. That’s broken up and Kennedy grabs…kind of an inverted Figure Four for the fast tap. At least the hold was different than just a copy of Flair’s Figure Four.

Post match Kennedy shows us a clip of MVP taking out Ric Flair’s knee last week on Smackdown. Therefore, Kennedy is giving Flair a chance to come here next week and forfeit the No Way Out match and save his leg. They’re taking a different path to Kennedy vs. Flair and it’s more interesting than I would have thought.

Mike Adamle hypes up the Raw Elimination Chamber.

Video on the Chamber itself.

Carlito/Santino Marella vs. Paul London/Brian Kendrick

Maria is here with Carlito and Marella. Kendrick dropkicks Carlito for a fast two but Marella low bridges him to the floor. London chases Marella around the ring, leaving Carlito to hit a Backstabber to finish Kendrick. Remember when London and Kendrick were one of the best teams in the company?

Vince McMahon is preparing for Hornswoggle to join his, ahem, special club. This involves a, quote, “Professional a** buffer” and “a** cream”. Vince: “Mr. McMahon’s a** in HD!”

Here’s Vince to humiliate Hornswoggle again. He talks about how you can’t reason with a child, so you have to discipline them. After ranting about children in the audience, Vince says you have to literally make them kiss your a**. Cue Hornswoggle, who Vince blames for the whole thing and it’s going to hurt Vince more than him.

Vince drops his pants and asks for a pardon of the tan lines. Hornswoggle goes to kiss it but Vince demands that he kiss it (that felt like a missed cue). Cue Finlay to ask what is wrong with Vince, who threatens a firing. Actually, Finlay can kiss it instead, but Hornswoggle gives it a bite. That doesn’t work for Vince, who makes himself vs. Hornswoggle next week, No DQ, and if Finlay interferes, he’s fired. This was WAY longer than any segment involving Vince not wearing pants should have been.

Cody Rhodes/Hardcore Holly vs. Trevor Murdoch/Lance Cade

Non-title. Holly elbows Murdoch down to start so it’s off to Cade to run Holly over right back. That doesn’t last long and Cody comes in with a top rope ax handle, setting up a bulldog. Everything breaks down and Cody DDTs Murdoch for the pin.

Post match Carlito and Santino Marella come out to challenge for the titles. Egads that’s a rough time for the belts.

No Way Out rundown.

Shawn Michaels/Jeff Hardy/Chris Jericho vs. John Bradshaw Layfield/Snitsky/Umaga

Shawn and Umaga start things off with Shawn’s chops having no effect. Umaga misses a sitdown splash so Jericho comes in and gets headbutted down without much trouble. It’s off to Snitsky to miss a big boot, allowing Jericho to triangle dropkick him out to the floor. Hardy comes in (big reaction for that) and gets slammed by Snitsky, allowing JBL to pound away.

A hard shoulder drops Hardy but Snitsky comes in and allows the tag off to Shawn. Something like an Indian Deathlock has Snitsky in trouble but everything breaks down. The good guys hit triple dives and we take a break with the fans sounding rather enthusiastic. Back with Jericho in trouble and getting caught in the wrong corner.

Umaga grabs a bearhug before hitting the Samoan drop for two. Jericho tries to fight out but gets kicked in the back to cut him right back down. An enziguri gives Jericho a breather though and the hot tag brings in Hardy to clean house. Everything breaks down and the Twist of Fate into the Swanton finishes Snitsky.

Rating: C+. Pretty standard, long form six man here with Hardy winning for the feel good moment. Hardy is going to be the fan favorite in the Chamber and giving him some momentum on the way there is the right thing to do. The fans wanted to see him do anything here and it’s not like Jericho and Shawn need to pin Snitsky. Basic six man formula here and it worked just fine.

And now, arm wrestling between John Cena and Mark Henry. As expected, Henry takes forever to start and gets in a cheap shot on Cena’s recently injured chest. They go, Henry is about to win, Cena is about to win, Randy Orton runs in to jump Cena. The RKO and AA are blocked and Orton runs, leaving Cena to AA Henry to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This was a weird show as they had two stories, with the Elimination Chamber stuff and John Cena vs. Randy Orton. That filled in part of the show, but there wasn’t much else to fill in time other than those two stories. Unfortunately the other big story was Vince/Hornswoggle and….yeah that was as Vince of a segment as you could have had. No Way Out is all but set and that has me wondering how bad things are going to go next week when they don’t have much to say. For now though, it was just an ok show without much to fill in the gaps between the big stuff.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: January 28, 2008
Location: Wachovia Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

The Royal Rumble has come and gone and that means it is time to start the Road To Wrestlemania. Randy Orton retained the Raw World Title over Jeff Hardy last night, but the big story is the return of John Cena, who is back months ahead of schedule and wont he Royal Rumble. That means Cena is going to be coming for Orton sooner than later so let’s get to it.

Here is the Royal Rumble if you need a recap.

Royal Rumble recap.

Here is John Cena to get things going. Cena is a bit more serious than usual and says he knows this town is always going to tell him the truth. He is here tonight to answer a question that has been on everyone’s mind: how could this be possible? Back in October he suffered a major injury….and we pause for a CENA SUCKS chant. Cena: “Right now, that’s music to my ears.” Cena was supposed to be out for a year and that meant no Wrestlemania.

Some things have changed around here and in a hospital bed, he made a decision that would change everything. Now he is back for one chance just to maybe get an opportunity to go to Wrestlemania. Maybe it was luck, but he stands before you the winner of the Royal Rumble and he is going to Wrestlemania. Unless of course the people here would like to see Wrestlemania…..tonight. That gets the fans’ attention so Cena throws out the challenge to Randy Orton for the title TONIGHT.

Cue Orton to list off the people he has beaten since winning the title, which is quite the impressive collection. Cena cuts him off and says yes, Orton has beaten them all, in addition to putting him on the shelf. That’s because Orton is smart, and that’s why he is going to take this match tonight. Orton is smart enough to think that there is no way Cena has healed in four months.

Cena says Orton is too smart to let Cena have eight more weeks to heal up and make it easier to whip Orton all over Disneyland (World. Get it right.). Orton isn’t buying it and says he only defends the title if people open their wallets and pay to see it, so no match tonight….but they can do it at No Way Out. Cena is in but says he wants some tonight, so he’ll get some. This was a weird way to go, but Cena being back boosts up any show so there was no other way to start things up.

Ashley Massaro/Mickie James vs. Jillian Hall/Beth Phoenix

Mickie and Jillian start things off with Mickie taking her down for a fast two. Beth comes in to mock Mickie for crying over last week’s loss before being sent….mostly into the post. A side slam plants Mickie so Jillian comes back in, only to get rolled up for two. Mickie neckbreakers her for two but gets dropped by Beth, setting up the fisherman’s suplex to give Beth the pin (Jillian was never in).

Post match Mickie is distraught again.

Vince McMahon and William Regal are in the back where Vince makes Cena vs. Orton for No Way Out. They need a Wrestlemania match though, with Regal saying they can have THAT match with the winner facing the winner of Cena vs. Orton at Wrestlemania. Vince: “Not THAT match.” Vince lets Regal go make it.

Here is William Regal to announce that the Elimination Chamber is back at No Way Out. After a video on the match, Regal explains the concept and announces Umaga, Shawn Michaels, Chris Jericho, JBL, Jeff Hardy and HHH for the Chamber.

Mike Adamle announces what is coming tonight.

Cody Rhodes vs. Carlito

Hardcore Holly, Santino Marella and Maria are here too. Cody armdrags him into an armbar to start before winning a strike off in the corner. Another armdrag into an armbar doesn’t go so well but they roll with it anyway and it’s off to an arm crank to keep Carlito down. Carlito gets sent to the apron for a springboard punch to the face to send him outside. Back in and Cody gets distracted by Santino, allowing Carlito to grab a Backstabber for the pin.

Rating: D+. Not exactly good stuff here and the ending wasn’t quite inspired. At the same time, it isn’t a great sign that Carlito and Santino Marella seem to be the top challengers to the Tag Team Titles. If Rhodes and Holly as champions wasn’t enough proof, what other evidence do you need?

HHH and Shawn Michaels both want to get back into the title picture at No Way Out, but for tonight they need partners. As luck would have it, they both have their DX gear so it’s reunion time (and WWE Shop plug time).

D-Generation X vs. Snitsky/Umaga

After the usual pre-match chattering, HHH and Snitsky start things off. Hang on though as HHH grabs the mic and asks if anyone has a toothbrush, Tic Tacs, mints or ANYTHING before he has to fight Snitsky. HHH hits an early clothesline and slams his way out of trouble, meaning it’s off to Shawn. Umaga isn’t having that though and kicks Shawn off the top for the big crash. Back in and Snitsky takes us back to the 80s with the bearhug before choking in the corner. Umaga grabs his own bearhug and we take a break.

We come back with Shawn caught in the Tree of Woe and…Snitsky grabbing another bearhug. Shawn gets sent into the corner where he avoids the running Umaga attack. A DDT is enough for the tag off to HHH for the house cleaning but Umaga grabs a Samoa drop. Shawn superkicks Umaga in the back of the head and out to the floor for the dive, setting up the Pedigree to finish Snitsky.

Rating: C. Pretty paint by numbers tag match here with no drama about the result. It was more about whether HHH or Shawn would get the pin over Snitsky, as Umaga still has just enough star power to avoid taking a fall here. HHH and Shawn have much bigger deals to get to in the next few weeks and Umaga needs to be kept strong for the Chamber, leaving Snitsky getting pinned as the only way to go.

JBL comes up to Randy Orton, his partner in the main event, in the back and says they’re partners tonight but he’s taking the title at Wrestlemania. You know, assuming Orton wins at No Way Out. Orton likes the idea because he knows he can beat JBL.

Jeff Hardy is ready to get back to the title scene so he is ready to win the Elimination Chamber and go on to Wrestlemania.

Hornswoggle is in Vince McMahon’s office, where Vince berates him for being a loser.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Brian Kendrick

Kendrick charges into the ring to start and gets sent into the corner. The running boot misses but Kennedy is back up with a shoulder first ram into the buckle. Kendrick gets in a kick to the face but misses a charge, setting up the Mic Check to give Kennedy the pin.

Post match Kennedy says he wanted in the Elimination Chamber, but he’ll settle for retiring Ric Flair at No Way Out instead. Cue Flair for some WOOing.

Maria vs. Melina

Santino Marella is here with Maria. Melina takes her down early but Maria is back up with a kick to the ribs. There’s the Bronco Buster in the corner but Maria misses a charge, allowing Melina to forearm her in the back. Maria hits a gutbuster (belly buster according to JR) but misses a charge in the corner. Melina tries a rollup but only pulls Maria’s tights down, allowing Maria to sit down on her for the pin.

Post match Santino runs in and throws his shirt around Maria’s waist and rants about her wanting to be in Playboy.

Chris Jericho is ready to be serious instead of the goofy guy so he can go to Wrestlemania.

Mike Adamle gives us the No Way Out rundown.

Jeff Hardy/Chris Jericho vs. Randy Orton/John Bradshaw Layfield

Jericho wastes no time in suplexing Orton down and elbowing him in the face. Double knees to the face drop Orton again and Hardy hits a very early Swanton for two, with JBL pulling Orton out. We take a break and come back with Hardy hitting a running forearm to drop Orton, who pulls him into the corner by the throat.

Orton takes him down again and works on an armbar until Hardy fights up and hits a swinging sleeper drop. It’s back to Jericho to try the Walls but he has to stop and dropkick Orton off the apron. The Lionsault gets two on JBL as everything breaks down. The Walls go on JBL again but Orton makes the save with the RKO to give JBL the pin.

Rating: C+. Pretty standard main event tag match here with the villains stealing the pin and giving JBL some momentum heading into the Chamber. It isn’t like he has any real chance to win so boosting him up even slightly in a match like this isn’t going to hurt. It makes more sense than Orton getting the pin so at least they thought about this one.

Post match here is John Cena to lay out Orton to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This wasn’t the strongest show coming out of the Royal Rumble and a lot of that is due to the lack of Jeff Hardy energy. That story was carrying the show for a good while and now that Hardy has lost, most of it is gone. Cena being back is the big deal of course, but moving the match to No Way Out in less than three weeks feels rushed to say the least. Pretty disappointing show here and that’s never fun to see.

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