Impact Wrestling – September 13, 2012: We’ve Got Ourselves A Mole

Impact Wrestling
Date: September 13, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

Well we’re past No Surrender and it looks like we have two of our three main matches for the biggest show of the year. Hardy won the BFG Series in what can only be called a surprise given that he did almost nothing until the last few weeks. I mean, the guy lost to Robbie E. Also it looks like we’re having Roode vs. Storm in the likely blowoff to their nearly year long feud. That just leaves the Aces and 8’s match which will probably be Lethal Lockdown. We’re headed to Phoenix now so let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the PPV with the voiceover guy.

Here’s the champ to open things up. He holds up the title and talks about how important it is, and how it makes the company go around. It’s also why Aces and 8’s have been all over him. On Sunday he didn’t unmask anyone but he got a piece of one of them. That brings us to Bound For Glory and his opponent at Bound For Glory: Jeff Hardy. The champ asks Hardy to come out here so here’s the painted one.

Aries congratulates Hardy for winning the Series, especially given how much he went through on Sunday. Hardy is a man of few words, but the fans love him. The fans cheer for Aries as well, and at Bound For Glory, it seems like Aries has something Hardy wants. Aries sees it as Hardy has something Aries wants.

Before he can elaborate on that, here’s Bully Ray to tell both of them that they’re lucky. Aries is lucky that Ray isn’t getting the shot and Hardy is lucky that Ray felt badly for him for one second when Aces and 8’s took out Hardy’s shoulder. Ray goes on a rant about how many times he’s beaten Hardy and now he screwed it up. Aries cuts Ray off and says maybe Ray and Hardy should fight again. Apparently it’s on for later.

X-Division Title: Zema Ion vs. Sonjay Dutt

Didn’t we see this match on Sunday? Dutt immediately takes him to the floor and hits a moonsault and headscissors to take the champion down. Back in the ring and a rana gets two. Ion tries to hit a charge in the corner but gets caught with a pendulum kick. Another rana takes Ion down but Dutt misses a standing moonsault and Ion hooks a Rings of Saturn. Dutt escapes and slams Ion down for the moonsault double stomp. That move is still insane. Dutt goes up again but gets crotched and rolled up for the pin by Ion to retain at 3:30.

Rating: C-. Ion had ONE offensive move the whole match and that’s the rollup. I’m not a fan of the idea of the champ getting beaten down until he pulls off a miracle win at the end. Dutt continues to look awesome here and is probably the best X-Division guy to never be X-Division Champion.

Post match Ion cranks Dutt’s arm back.

Hogan walks in on Daniels and Kaz imitating him in a funny bit. We get an overly complicated deal for later: Daniels is going to face either Chavo or Hernandez while Kaz is going to face either AJ or Angle. If both of them win, they don’t have to defend against either team again. If either of them lose, they have to face the member of the team that beat them. Assuming both guys lose, they have to face both teams.

Angle and Styles talk about who gets to face Kaz. Apparently it’ll be AJ. Styles leaves to get ready when Wes Brisco comes up and says nothing of note to Angle.

We recap Roode and Storm from Sunday.

Here’s Roode to the ring. He says he’s back and talks about getting screwed against Aries at Hardcore Justice. He can’t get another rematch with Aries during this reign so he left. So then he shifted his views to James Storm, who made a living off Roode for years. Roode made sure Storm wasn’t getting the world title shot either…..and here’s the Cowboy.

It’s on immediately and Storm takes him down to the floor and up the aisle. Storm rams him into the stage and puts a dent in the thing. They head to the back and some equipment is knocked over and we go to a break.

We get a clip from BFG 09 where AJ beat Sting to retain the title. The tagline of Memories Are Waiting is great.

Kazarian vs. AJ Styles

AJ snaps off some armdrags to start and a big right hand takes Kaz to the floor. The drop down/kick takes Kaz down and Kaz heads to the floor where he gets pounded on even more. We take a break and come back with AJ hitting a backbreaker to stop Kaz’s momentum. AJ heads to the apron and blocks a suplex back in before DDTing (kind of) Kaz on the apron. AJ tries to go after Kaz but gets caught in a monkey flip on the floor. Back in and Kaz gets three quick two’s but AJ pops up and tries the Clash. That doesn’t work so he settles for the springboard forearm for two. Kaz gets a rollup with feet on the ropes for two but he walks into the Pele and the Clash for the clean pin at 10:10.

Rating: C+. This was somewhat sloppy but the match worked well enough. At the end of the day you can’t mess up Styles in a match when he can fly around the ring. Decent match here and a good way to set up at least one set of challengers for the tag champions. I sense a triple threat for BFG though, because what would a PPV be without one of those?

Hogan is in the back with Brooke and says he doesn’t want her going anywhere around here without two bodyguards. Joseph Park comes in and after some legalese, he says that his key piece of evidence is coming next week. Hogan tells Park to guard Brooke until further notice. Hulk leaves and Park givers her his legal pitch which goes nowhere.

Ray yells at Hardy in the back and asks for tonight’s match to be for the title shot at BFG. Hardy doesn’t say anything but eventually he opens his eyes and says sure.

After a quick package from Sunday about Aces and 8’s, here’s Hogan to the ring. He praises all 12 guys in the BFG Series but Hardy came out on top. Hardy is from another solar system and it’s cool with Hulk if the title is on the line tonight. Hogan talks about how Sunday at No Surrender was a game changer with the lockdown and all that. The Impact Zone is going to be locked down forever.

This brings Aces and 8’s to the monitor. The leader says that it’s not that they’re locked out. It’s that they’re locked in. From this moment on, Hogan will never have any idea who is working against him. Hogan looks scared. Well he might be hungry. With his acting abilities you never can tell.

Christopher Daniels vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.

Feeling out process to start with Guerrero hooking a headlock and an over the shoulder backbreaker for two. Daniels heads to the floor and avoids a kick but gets taken out by a running flip attack off the apron. Back in and Daniels takes over and works on the ribs of Chavo a bit. A backbreaker puts Chavo down but he pops back up and starts his comeback. Daniels gets hiptossed to the floor and grabs his belt but the swing with it misses. Chavo rolls some suplexes and the Frog Splash gets the pin at 6:30.

Rating: C. This wasn’t as good as the first match but it was fine. Chavo is fine in the role he’s in but I really can’t see him moving up at all. The triple threat match should be fine and I could see the newest team pull off a surprise win with the other two canceling each other out. This was fine.

Aaron Markopoulis is the next Gut Check guy.

Storm wants more of Roode and he’s getting it next week at Open Fight Night.

Gail Kim talks about winning the first Knockouts Title.

Here’s Tara for a chat. She asks Tessmacher to come out here and says that on Sunday, the student beat the teacher. Tara asks to put the belt on Tessmacher (a rare sight with that belt) and after awhile there’s the obvious heel turn. Widow’s Peak leaves the champ laying.

Another video from Sunday and the main event.

Dixie yells at the people in charge of TNA (agents/Hogans) about Aces and 8’s so Hogan talks about how this is war. Dixie is worried about everyone because there must be someone inside. They’re going to look Aces and 8’s in the eye instead of running.

Bully Ray vs. Jeff Hardy

Winner gets the shot at BFG. Ray jumps Hardy during his posing on the ropes to get us on fast. Hardy sends him to the floor and hits a plancha as we take a break. Back with Ray dropping an elbow for two and backdropping Hardy. A splash gets two as well but Jeff tries the Twist. Bully shoves him shoulder first into the post and Jeff is in trouble. Hardy rolls in to break the count but it ticks Ray off even more and he drops a forearm on the back from the apron.

Back in and Ray goes for the chops in the corner. Dang those are loud considering Jeff has a top on. A corner splash from Ray hits but Jeff counters the second and hits Whisper in the Wind. They slug it out from their knees with Jeff taking over with an atomic drop and the legdrop between the legs to set up the basement dropkick for two. Twist of Fate is countered into a Bubba Bomb for two

An attempt at a second Bomb is countered into a DDT for two and Jeff is going up. Ray dives to crotch him and there’s a superplex for two. A Vader bomb misses but the Swanton does as well. Another Bubba Bomb hits for two and we’ve got like 30 seconds left of air time. The Twisting Stunner sets up the Twist of Fate which sets up the Swanton to cement Hardy in the title shot at BFG at 14:35.

Rating: C+. I liked this one more than the main event on Sunday as the fans were more into it and things didn’t get ridiculous with the kicking out of finishers. If you do it over and over again, the kickouts stop meaning anything at all. Here they only did it like twice and you got a better match out of it. Good stuff.

Overall Rating: B-. For the first of the last five shows before Bound for Glory, this was perfectly acceptable. The main event hopefully is set in stone now and the whole mole idea is interesting for the eventual Aces and 8’s match. Other than that we’ve got a blood feud with Roode vs. Storm where the blowoff is going to rock. I’m a lot more excited for this show than I am for anything WWE has coming up and that’s a good sign.

Results

Zema Ion b. Sonjay Dutt – Rollup

AJ Styles b. Kazarian – Styles Clash

Chavo Guerrero b. Christopher Daniels – Frog Splash

Jeff Hardy b. Bully Ray – Swanton Bomb

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




Smackdown – December 16, 2005: Build For A One Match Show

Smackdown
Date: December 16, 2005
Location: MassMutual Center, Springfield, Massachusetts
Attendance: 3,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

This is another request and again I don’t remember why. Smackdown in 2005 is an area I haven’t touched, just like 04, 06 or 07. These years are kind of forgotten in Smackdown and I’m not sure why. Batista is world champion at this point but is about to be taken out by a legit injury. I have no idea what to expect here so let’s get to it.

Boogeyman vs. Nunzio

It’s kind of nice to immediately open with a match even if it’s a squash. There’s smoke everywhere after Boogeyman’s entrance. Boogey dominates to start and eats some worms. A pumphandle powerslam squashes Nunzio quickly.

Vito, Nunzio’s muscle, is beaten down post match. The Smackdown locker room is sickened.

Bob Orton wants Randy to see a sports psychologist. This isn’t going to go well.

Post break Randy is with the shrink and says he’s afraid of Taker. Randy says that he’s scared of Undertaker because Taker is in his head and the Cell on Sunday scares him. The doctor basically says get over it. I’m sure there will be more of this later.

Batista is in the back getting ready for a tag title shot against MNM later when Melina comes in. She rubs his shoulders and basically offers him sex to step out of the title match. She kisses Batista and I think Batista agrees to the proposition.

We get an Armageddon news conference and basically JBL wants a match. He wound up getting Matt Hardy.

Kid Kash vs. Super Crazy

I think this is Kash’s debut. Scratch that as apparently he’s been on Velocity but this is his first Smackdown match. Last week Kash attacked the Mexicools so this is about revenge. The other Mexicools, Juventud Guerrera and Psychosis, are sent to the back. Things go fast to start of course with Crazy taking over with a monkey flip. Kash sends him through the ropes but Crazy comes back in with a spinwheel kick.

Kash gets in a shoulder to the ribs and stomps away for two. Crazy pounds away but Kash pulls Crazy by the hair into the knee like a backbreaker for two. They slug it out a bit more and Kash walks into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Crazy takes FOREVER to set up the moonsault and misses, letting Kash hit a brainbuster for the pin.

Rating: D+. I’m not a fan of Kid Kash and this was a borderline mess. They weren’t clicking at all out there. The Mexicools was such a dead end gimmick that never went anywhere at all and Kash was your run of the mill cruiserweight, which means he held the title for awhile and no one really remembers it.

Post match Kash tries the brainbuster on a chair but the Mexicools make the save.

Randy has come to a conclusion which he’ll announce later.

Melina is seen putting her bra and top back on while Batista tightens his trunks. Melina is glad Batista is dropping out of the match but Batista said he never made any deal. He got a good warmup from her so he’s going to kill MNM tonight. Good stuff here.

Smackdown Tag Titles: MNM vs. Batista/Rey Mysterio

MNM is defending and would be more famous as Mercury (Joey), Nitro (John Morrison) and Melina (Melina). Melina is all disturbed by sleeping with Batista so she hides from the paparazzi. Mercury and Rey start things off with Rey in control. The fans think someone involved in this match is a sl**. After the starters do little of note it’s off to Nitro vs. Big Dave with Nitro actually trying his kicks on Batista. Batista just kind of glares at him and tosses him around for fun.

Mercury comes in and is immediately almost powerbombed but Nitro makes the save. Batista shrugs off the superkick and clotheslines them both to the floor for a big dive from Mysterio as we take a break. Back with Rey getting two off a springboard splash before pounding on Nitro in the corner. Mercury finally realizes their only chance is to double team so he helps Nitro counter a rana into a slingshot powerbomb for two. That looked cool.

Off to Nitro who gets two off a clothesline and it’s off to a chinlock. When that gets boring, Nitro opts for right hands to the head. Why mess with the basics I guess. Mysterio tries to fight back but gets taken down with ease and double teamed. Even Melina gets in some offense by pulling him out to the floor. Mercury coems in and covers Rey about three times in a row with no success.

A spinning flapjack (cool move) gets two for Mercury and now he’s getting cocky. Back to Nitro for the breakdancing legdrop for two. Rey gets caught in a body vice but does the Eddie dance to escape. No literally, that’s what he does. The sitout bulldog puts Nitro down but Mercury makes a diving save to stop the tag. Mercury tries to speed things up but he has to avoid both guys, meaning he gets caught in an enziguri to put him down. Rey is put on the top but comes off with a headscissors to Nitro, allowing for the hot tag to Big Dave. A 619 takes out Melina and Nitro and the Batista Bomb to Mercury changes the titles.

Rating: C+. This was all to set up something for the PPV. The Mexicools had won a tag battle royal to get a shot at MNM at the PPV while Rey/Batista are scheduled to face Big Show/Kane, who are the Raw tag champions at the moment. This kind of messes that up but it gave us champions vs. champions instead, which was non title for no apparent reason. Still though, decent match here and a good way to kill 20 minutes.

We get a clip from Armageddon 2000 with Undertaker chokeslamming Rikishi off the Cell.

Bobby Lashley vs. Paul Burchill

Lashley is relatively new at this point. Regal is Burchill’s manager here and has to help him up when Lashley throws him to the floor. Back inside and Lashley fires off shoulders to the ribs in the corner. Dominator ends this quick.

Matt Hardy is talking about Booker T, who he faces later, and Booker’s series with Benoit when JBL pops up to insult him. JBL tells him to post the praise on his website. A fight breaks out and that’s your match for Sunday. Yep it was that fast.

Teddy Long talks to the psychiatrist but the doc can’t tell him anything. These segments aren’t leading anywhere meaningful are they?

Orton congratulates the new tag champions in the back. He wishes Batista could find out who the best man was but they’ll never know now for some reason.

The Undertaker threw Mankind off the Cell too.

Booker T vs. Matt Hardy

JBL is on commentary while on crutches due to an injury I don’t remember. Booker is currently up 3-0 in the series with Benoit so Sharmell brings out a broom. We join this after a break with Booker in control. Matt makes a quick comeback and knocks Booker to the floor, followed by a plancha over the top. Matt has to stop to yell at JBL, allowing Booker to ram Hardy’s head into the steps.

This is just after Edge sent Matt to Raw after stealing Lita away. That was supposed to be the big push Matt to the main event but it never quite got there. Anyway Booker hooks a chinlock as JBL lists off his accomplishments in the real world. Matt fights up and hits a Side Effect to put both guys down.

A bulldog gets two for Matt but the Twist of Fate is countered into a spinebuster for no cover. Scissors kick misses and there’s another Side Effect to put both guys down again. Matt hits a top rope legdrop for two and here’s Sharmell on the apron. The distraction lets JBL kill Matt with a Clothesline and Booker hits the scissors kick for the cheap pin.

Rating: C-. Nothing to see here for the most part but I guess it set up the match on Sunday a bit better. When a former world champion and a guy who is supposed to be heading up to the top like Matt only get a match set up two days in advance, you can pretty much tell things aren’t going all that well for them at the moment.

Bob Orton makes sure Randy is sure about his decision.

Here’s Orton to close the show with his big announcement. Orton brags about everything he’s done which I’m sure most of you can recite by heart. He’s the legend killer, but no one can kill the legend of the Undertaker. This is Armageddon Randy, not Wrestlemania. He’s beatable. Taker won’t brutalize him in the Cell, because Orton is retiring here tonight. Yep, that’s the big reveleation.

Randy says he’s going to kill his own legend before Undertaker can, which draws out Teddy. If Orton doesn’t show up, Teddy will sue him for breach of contract. It could be worse: Teddy could dance for him. Orton says cool with him as it’s better than being in the Cell. He goes to leave but the lights go out and we’ve got druids. They back Orton into the ring and here’s Taker. One druid is standing alone and it’s Bob Orton. The distraction lets Randy kick Undertaker low and beat on him with a chair for a bit. Taker is busted open and Orton wipes the blood on his chest. An urn shot to Taker’s head ends the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This show was acceptable I guess but at the same time it didn’t work to make me want to see the PPV. The entire show is about Orton vs. Taker and while the PPV wound up being very good, the build for it didn’t work at all as a lot of the matches are being thrown together here tonight. It’s a one match show and while the build for it was ok, the stuff tonight didn’t do anything for me.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




No Surrender 2012: More Like A TV Show And That’s The Right Move

No Surrender 2012
Date: September 9, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz

We’re back in Orlando for a PPV and it’s a month before the biggest show of the year in Phoenix with Bound for Glory. Since we’re a month away from it we need a main event. That’s where tonight comes in as the BFG Series ends tonight with the final four being Joe, Hardy, Bully Ray and Storm. It really could be any of those four which is what makes this a fun show. The rest of the card doesn’t really matter other than Aries vs. a member of Aces and 8’s. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is exactly what you would expect: all about the BFG Series. I think the song is that Taproot one they’ve been playing on Impact every week.

Bound For Glory Series: Samoa Joe vs. Jeff Hardy

The points are no longer a factor as this is winner advances and loser is done. Jeff grabs a headlock to start but Joe shrugs him off with ease. Hardy is sent to the floor and holds his arm as things slow down almost immediately. Back in and Jeff hits a quick headscissors to send Joe to the floor but the fat man is just getting mad now. Hardy hits a running attack on the floor but back inside the fat power man offense runs over Hardy with the backsplash getting two.

Joe puts on a nerve hold and an elbow to take Hardy down when Jeff tries a comeback. As always, Hardy looks like he’s dead. Off to a chinlock followed by the snap powerslam for no cover by Joe. Hardy is sent to the floor and taken out by a suicide elbow as Joe continues to dominate. Back in and Hardy gets punched in the corner a few times before starting his comeback. The legdrop between the legs sets up a clothesline to put both guys down.

The low dropkick gets two for Hardy but the Twist of Fate is countered. Whisper in the Wind gets two but Joe gets up first. Joe is still having issues with his arm from Thursday so he can’t hit the MuscleBuster. Hardy grabs a Twist of Fate out of nowhere but Joe crotches him before the Swanton can be launched. A sunset flip gets two for Hardy and it’s back to the armbar that he won the match with on Thursday. Joe counters into a rollup but Jeff counters into a crucifix for the pin at 12:45.

Rating: B-. Good opener here with a pretty good ending. Joe trying to counter the submission into a pin which was against his nature and being countered was a nice idea, but the arm stuff didn’t quite get brought in until the end. This was a surprise though and it was a better match than they had three days ago so no complaints here.

Storm says he’ll right the wrong of last year and beat Bully Ray.

Bound For Glory Series: Bully Ray vs. James Storm

Ray stalls to start and heads to the floor to beat up a sign. After two minutes of stalling, Ray slaps Storm in the chest and gets slapped in the face for his efforts. Storm goes after him and Ray heads to the floor again, tripping a bit on his way down. We’re four minutes into this so far and they’ve barely touched each other. Back in and Ray takes it to the corner but Storm has had enough and pounds the Bully repeatedly in the head.

Storm pounds away some more but the Last Call misses and Ray hits him in the leg to take over. Ray throws on a bearhug which is quickly broken but a big boot takes Storm’s head off for two. Ray gets in Hebner’s face but is shoved away in the signature Earl bit. Instead, Bully splashes Storm in the corner and pounds him down some more from the middle rope. Storm crotches him and a powerbomb gets two.

They slug it out from their knees and Ray misses a charge in the corner. A top rope cross body gets two for Storm as does a sidewalk slam for Ray. Storm charges into the referee and walks into the Bubba Bomb for two from a new referee. Ray misses the middle rope backsplash (duh) and Storm fires a forearm, taking out referee #2. Last Call hits but there’s no referee. Bobby Roode comes out with a beer bottle to Storm’s head and Ray gets the pin to advance at 14:08.

Rating: C+. This was a different kind of a match and not everyone is going to like it. This was based on entertainment rather than wrestling with Ray hiding every chance he could get. The problem with matches like this one is there’s limited action and a lot of standing around. It’s entertaining but not necessarily good if that makes sense.

Tessmacher says exactly what you would expect her to say.

Knockouts Title: Tara vs. Miss Tessmacher

Tara is her mentor and beat the champ on Impact a few weeks ago and that’s it. They fight over the arm to start with Tara controlling with a top wristlock. Tara keeps taking over with power and outmaneuvering Tessmacher. A backslide gets two for the challenger but Tessmacher tries a rolling cradle, only to get tangled in the ropes. As they come back in Tara gets two off a rollup and the champ grabs the arm to take over.

Tara finally slaps her to start the brawl with Tessmacher taking over. A cradle sends Tara into the mat and things speed up. Tara’s spinning side slam gets two as does the floatover suplex that got Tara the pin on Impact a few weeks back. Widow’s Peak is countered into a rollup for the pin by Tessmacher to retain at 6:39.

Rating: C-. For a Knockouts match this wasn’t bad but man alive no one cared at all. Granted there was a one night build to this match so it’s not like anyone had any reason to care. Tessmacher hit a wall with the Earl Hebner storyline and losing the title for a few days. It didn’t help anyone and it stopped Tess’ momentum cold.

Hogan tells Roode that he’s arrested when Storm comes up and beats Roode up. Storm is thrown out too.

We recap Aces and 8’s vs. Aries and the breaking of the world champion’s arm. Tonight it’s the first real match for the group as Aries gets to fight the armbreaker. There was a torture session involved as well.

Austin Aries vs. Arm Breaker

This is non-title of course and Aries is in workout clothes instead of trunks. Before the match, Aries talks about this being a war which is fine with him, because Aries is the God of War. Aries calls out the big man but he won’t let the masked man in. He does the HBK laying on the top rope to sucker the Arm Breaker in. The champ pounds the guy down and hits the suicide dive.

Back inside Aries pounds away some more but gets crotched to give the Arm Breaker the advantage. The Arm Breaker keeps pounding away and takes over even more on the champ. This isn’t a match mind you as there’s no referee and the bell never rang. A clothesline spins Aries around and the Arm Breaker loads up a powerbomb but Aries throws powder in his face. A dropkick sends the Arm Breaker to the floor and Aries dives out onto him.

The Arm Breaker gets in a shot and grabs a chair, but back in the ring Aries hits him with a roll of coins and the brainbuster. Aries goes for the mask but here comes the gang. The locker room empties out and it’s a big brawl. In case you care, the fight ran just under ten minutes or so.

Aces and 8’s get run off and Hogan comes out. He gets in the ring with the ball bat and Hardy is down on the floor for some reason. Apparently he’s hurt his shoulder. Hogan tells the security to lock the place down as Hardy is taken to the back. Ray seemed to come out a bit later than everyone else so maybe he’s the lead suspect now. We get a clip from the brawl of Hardy having his shoulder rammed into the post by a masked guy.

They actually try to give us a package on Dutt vs. Ion. That’s just amusing. In short, there is no story as this match was added on to fill in time on the card.

X-Division Title: Sonjay Dutt vs. Zema Ion

Ion is defending. Feeling out process to start with Sonjay taking over. Taz praises him and they head to the floor with Sonjay hitting a slick roll across the apron into a rana on the floor. Back in and Ion takes over with some basic stuff and puts on a chinlock. We cut to the back where cops are coming to lock down the building. Sonjay makes his comeback with a headscissors and then another. He goes up but gets stopped by Zema, only for the champ to get release suplexed out to the floor.

A middle rope moonsault to the outside puts the champ down and back inside Sonjay gets two. Ion counters a rana into a powerbomb on the bad arm Sonjay came in with and it’s Rings of Saturn time. Dutt makes the rope and takes the champ down again, only to miss the moonsault into the double stomp. We get a pinfall reversal sequence resulting in a backslide into a Gory Bomb from Ion to retain at 11:38.

Rating: C. The match was fine but it was dead on arrival all around after the segment before it. Having the match thrown onto the card did it no favors either as there was no story to it at all and no reason to believe the champ was ever in any danger. This just didn’t do anything for me at all but the match was fine technically.

BFG video.

Hogan talks to the cops about the lockdown.

Hardy is getting his shoulder looked at. Magnus pops up and says Hardy is suffering from a lack of common sense.

Rob Van Dam vs. Magnus

Another thrown on match but at least this has a story behind it: Magnus got in RVD’s business at a promo on Impact and the match was made as a result. Simple but it works I guess. Magnus plays the cowardly heel to start and they go to the mat with Van Dam sitting out on Magnus to frustrate him again. Some kicks knock Magnus to the floor The spinning kick to the back while Magnus is on the barricade misses and the knee hits the steel.

Back in and Magnus takes over by stomping away like a British heel. A Texas Cloverleaf keeps RVD down even longer as Magnus stays on the leg. A sleeper is quickly broken by Rob and a spinwheel kick puts Magnus down. Van Dam speeds things up and goes after Magnus’ knee before hitting Rolling Thunder for two. Magnus gets in a shot to take over but spends too much time on top, allowing Van Dam to take over again. Rob tries the monkey flip out of the corner but Magnus kills him dead with a clothesline for two. Not that it really matters as Van Dan kicks him down and hits the Five Star for the pin at 10:05.

Rating: C. The match was ok but why in the world does Rob need to win here? The guy is a legit main eventer and it looked like Magnus was going to become a big deal. Instead he’s jobbing here in about ten minutes on PPV. What’s the point in the mini push like that then when a guy like RVD gets the win he doesn’t need?

Kaz and Daniels say they should have called the cops because of the injustice they’ve gone through.

We get a recap of the whole Daniels/Kaz vs. Angle/Styles. This is just the last few weeks because the whole thing would be longer than the whole PPV tonight.

Tag Titles: Kurt Angle/AJ Styles vs. Christopher Daniels/Kazarian

Angle is legit hurt so we’re looking at more of a handicap match here. Daniels (one of the champions) starts with Angle so maybe he’s not that badly hurt. Daniels pounds him into the corner and the announcers talk about how Angle is hurt. Angle and AJ ping pong Daniels between the two of them and it’s off to Styles. That goes nowhere so Angle comes back in and helps launch Kaz into the air before Kurt comes in legally.

Kurt goes after Daniels and tags AJ back in before the champs take over for the first time in the match so far. Since this is a TNA PPV, we get Daniels vs. AJ for awhile with the former in control. Kaz puts on a double arm chinlock but AJ comes back with right hands. A clothesline gets two for Kaz and it’s back to Daniels for a chinlock.

AJ fights out and makes the hot tag to Angle who cleans house as only he can. Well ok so a lot of people probably could but he does it quite well. It’s suplexes all around, including the Rolling Germans to Kaz. Kurt turns his attention to Daniels and after suplexing him down, Angle turns around into a slingshot DDT from Kaz to give the champions control. A slingshot elbow from Daniels and a slingshot legdrop from Kaz get two and it’s cravate time from Kaz.

Kaz goes up but Angle runs the ropes and hits a freaky kind of Olympic Slam off the top to put both guys down. Hot tag #2 brings in AJ who beats on Daniels after the champions tag as well. The moonsault into the reverse DDT gets two but Kaz hits a big dropkick to send AJ into the corner. Angle tags himself in again and hits a top rope splash to Daniels for two. It’s Angle Slams for both guys but the cover on Daniels only gets two. Ankle lock to Daniels is broken up by an enziguri from Kaz and AJ tags himself in again.

The springboard forearm takes Daniels down and a Pele gets two on Kaz. Now this is cranking up again. The springboard 450 gets a VERY close two on Kaz so AJ goes up. Kaz follows him up for a top rope C4 (backflip Rock Bottom) for another close two. Angle and Daniels go to the floor with Angle grabbing his injured areas. AJ loads up the Clash but Daniels throws the appletini in his face so Kaz can roll him up for the pin to retain at 19:37.

Rating: B+. Yep this was great again. This wasn’t quite as good as the Slammiversary match because it took awhile to get going, but it was still excellent stuff. I don’t think anyone thought the titles were changing here and that really didn’t mean a thing at all. These four just work together and you can’t argue that at all.

We recap the events of the main event stuff earlier tonight.

Hogan gives the cops another lecture.

There’s no update on Hardy.

Ray says he would have beaten Hardy anyway so this doesn’t mean much. You have to respect him and he’s reinvented himself. Jeff is on the tracks and Ray is the locomotive. Everyone may be bound for glory, but he’s destined for greatness. Great promo here.

Cops surround the ring.

Bound For Glory Series Finals: Bully Ray vs. Jeff Hardy

Hardy’s music hits and Hogan comes out instead. Hogan implies Ray is behind Aces and 8’s but Ray denies it. Ray says if Hardy can’t go, what option is there other than for Ray to win by forefit? Hogan says that the ball is in the GM’s court and asks for four more days for this match to happen on Impact, drawing more booing than in his entire time in Immortal. Ray isn’t cool with that but here’s Hardy anyway so it doesn’t matter. Predictable, but that’s fine in this case as it is in a lot of cases but that’s an argument for another time.

Hardy has one arm so he’s wrestling very tentatively. He tries as well as he can to drive Ray into the corner but Jeff gets knocked to the floor where he holds the arm even more. As he comes back in, Ray pounds away on the bad arm and Jeff bails to the floor again. Ray slams Hardy down and puts on an armbar as Hardy is reeling. Jeff can barely defend himself here. Ray misses a splash and Jeff hits the mule kick. Twisting Stunner sets up the Swanton but it only gets two. That might be Jeff’s one chance.

Ray hits Jeff in the shoulder and the Bubba Bomb gets two. Whisper in the Wind out of nowhere gets two and both guys are down. Another Whisper attempt misses and the Bubba Cutter….only gets two. Another Twisting Stunner hits but the Swanton misses. The second Bubba Cutter only gets two again and the crowd isn’t popping for these kickouts now. Twisting Stunner #3 and #4 hit back to back but he gets crotched going up. Scratch that as he knocks Ray off and hits the Swanton for the pin and the BFG main event spot at 12:42.

Rating: B-. The last five minutes of this were pretty absurd with the repeating finishers and the fans didn’t get into it for the most part. I also hate the ending as Ray has done some of the best stuff of his life tonight but Jeff gets the win anyway. I’m not wild on this and the match wasn’t all that good. Anyway, Hardy vs. Aries will be pretty awesome, but I was hoping Ray won here as he’s earned it this past year.

No Aces and 8’s.

Overall Rating: B. The show here comes down to the idea that the good stuff was good but the dull stuff was dull. Nothing was really bad here but the middle part of the show was painfully boring for the most part. The BFG Series stuff was great here and tonight may be seen as the night where Ray rose to the next level in his career….until they had Hardy win the main event. Aces and 8’s is clearly going to be blown off at the next PPV which is fine, but I’m not sure how. Still though, this was a good show overall but not a masterpiece, about what everyone expected.

Results

Jeff Hardy b. Samoa Joe – Crucifix

Bully Ray b. James Storm – Pin after Bobby Roode hit Storm with a beer bottle

Miss Tessmacher b. Tara – Sunset flip

Zema Ion b. Sonjay Dutt – Gory Bomb

Rob Van Dam b. Magnus – Five Star Frog Splash

Christopher Daniels/Kazarian b. AJ Styles/Kurt Angle – Kazarian pinned Styles after Daniels threw a drink in Styles’ face

Jeff Hardy b. Bully Ray – Swanton

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




Impact Wrestling – September 6, 2012: If You Build It, They Will Buy (Hopefully)

Impact Wrestling
Date: September 6, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz

It’s the final night of the BFG Series and the final spots this Sunday are up for grabs. Other than that, not a ton matters. I’m sure we’ll hear more about the Aces and 8’s stuff from last week, but it’ll be minor to say the least. Also we’ll probably get more of the card set up for Sunday which is desperately needed at this point. Let’s get to it.

We get videos from everyone still in the running for the spots in the Series.

Bound For Glory Series Leaderboard

James Storm 73

Samoa Joe 68

Rob Van Dam 55

Bully Ray 55

AJ Styles 50

Jeff Hardy 49

Kurt Angle 48

Mr. Anderson 47

Christopher Daniels 33

Magnus 33

Robbie E 12

D’Angelo Dinero 7 (injured)

Bound For Glory Series: Samoa Joe vs. Jeff Hardy

I think Joe has clinched a spot already. Jeff tries to work on the arm to start but gets shoved to the floor with ease. Joe follows out and rams Jeff into the steps, but a charge misses and Jeff dives at him off the steps with Poetry In Motion as we take a break. Back with Joe in control again. Apparently Hardy has to win by pin or submission to make it to the PPV and Joe needs a pin or submission to get the #1 spot and to be able to pick his opponent.

Joe hits his corner enziguri and Jeff sells it like he’s dead as always. That gets two so Joe pounds him down again but still only gets two. The fat man is getting frustrated and here comes Jeff’s comeback. He fires off some clotheslines and the mule kick as Joe can’t keep up with the speed all of a sudden. Jeff hits the legdrop between Joe’s legs and a low dropkick for two.

A jawbreaker looks to set up the Swanton but Joe gets up before it’s launched. Twist of Fate is countered into the Clutch but Jeff rams him into the buckle. The Whisper in the Wind hits Joe’s arm and there’s the Twisting Stunner into an arm trap headlock which gets the tap out for Hardy at 12:00.

Rating: B-. Another good match in the Series here although the ending wasn’t great. I think they were going with the shoulder injury from last week with Joe but they barely mentioned it so it was hard to remember. Good stuff here though and they’re both at the PPV anyway so it’s not like it matters much. I’m digging the end of the Series for one reason: the matches matter. That makes it so much better.

We recap Aces and 8’s attacking Aries lately.

Aries runs into Hogan in the back and is told the small guy that attacked him last week is here tonight. Aries has permission to do whatever he needs to take him out which pleases the champ.

Joe has something to say post match but Magnus interrupts him. Magnus says that as a team they were good but it was Joe’s fault they broke up. Magnus forgives Joe for it though and wishes him the best. He walks away and then jumps Joe from behind.

The candidates to face Daniels/Kaz are in the back for the begging to Hogan portion of our show. We have the Rob’s, Chavo/Hernandez and Gunner/Kid Kash. This is your tag team division in TNA people. After they bicker, AJ comes in and says he deserves a shot. Well he deserves them more than Kash/Gunner who already got beat by Chavo/Hernandez. Hogan eliminates AJ immediately. Ok then.

Brooke Hogan makes Tara vs. Tessmacher for the PPV. Brooke still can’t act at all. Gail comes in to yell at Brooke and we get Tara vs. Gail later.

Gail Kim vs. Tara

Well that was quick. Gail takes over to start with her usual kicks and a running shoulder to the ribs in the corner for two. Tara gets a quick sunset flip for two but Gail kicks her down again. A powerslam puts Kim down for no cover but a floatover suplex gets two for Tara. Gail tries to go up but gets caught in the Widow’s Peak off the top for the pin at 3:38.

Rating: C-. It’s absolutely mind blowing how much better this was than anything the Divas have done in months if not over a year. These chicks know how to wrestle a coherent match without looking like they’re going through a memorized script. They look natural is what I mean, and that’s the most important thing they can do.

We recap Joey Ryan’s Gut Check and attack of Snow.

Here’s Al Snow to call out Joey Ryan. Ryan happens to be here and gets in the ring. Snow says give him a mic then tells Ryan to shut up. Ryan has to go through Gut Check again but without judges. Joey says he has nothing to prove as Snow take his jacket off. Ryan finally accepts it but he has to fight Snow to get his contract. Joey says no one wants to see Snow in spandex anymore. Snow slaps Ryan down and Joey bails.

Bully Ray goes to see Joseph Park to ask what Park has found out about Aces and 8’s. Park can’t say because Sting and Hogan are the ones that hired him. Ray says be careful and that’s it.

A security guard puts a guy in a chair and leaves. Aries comes in and I think this is the guy that hit Aries last week. Aries says the guy better talk soon or else.

Back to Hogan’s office and Gunner/Kash are eliminated. Thank goodness.

Bound For Glory Series: Rob Van Dam vs. Bully Ray

Basically it’s winner gets in and loser is out. Ray takes over to start but they’re going very slowly so as not to make any mistakes. Van Dam starts speeding things up and fires off some kicks for two. Ray heads to the floor so Rob hits a big flip dive to take both guys down. Back in and Rob goes up, only to get crotched. Ray tries to pull him down but Van Dam’s leg gets caught in the ropes. Ray pounds away on it for a bit and it’s off to a a leg lock.

The Bully and Hebner get in an argument, allowing Van Dam to hit a shot out of the corner to take over. He pounds Ray in the head and clotheslines him down a few times before hitting the step over spinwheel kick. Rolling Thunder hits for two and a monkey flip out of the corner puts Ray down. Van Dam tries a kick off the middle rope but Ray avoids it and kicks Rob’s head off for two. A Vader Bomb misses and now Van Dam hits the kick he missed a few seconds ago. Van Dam goes up but dives into the Bubba Cutter for the pin at 8:54. Why would Rob dive with Ray already on his feet?

Rating: C+. Pretty good match here as Ray continues to be solid in the ring most of the time. More than anything else, this was a clean win. Rob isn’t going to lose his reaction from the crowd and Ray isn’t going to be pushed into being a face because of it. He won a match clean and there’s nothing wrong with that. Pay attention WWE.

The four in the Series on Sunday are Storm, Joe, Hardy and Ray.

Back to the interrogation. The guy is named Mike and he’s a freelance grip from New York. Aries wants to know what the boss wants with Aries and the title. He pulls out a pair of pliers and threatens to take Mike’s teeth out but Hogan comes in to stop it. Hogan goes after the guy but gets a call, apparently from Aces and 8’s. They want Mike back but Hogan wants the arm breaker one on one with Austin in a trade later. Aries gets the arm breaker on Sunday in exchange for Mike.

Here’s Storm to announce who he faces at the PPV. Storm talks about how he lost at Lockdown and went home but his friends thought something was missing. Then he came back here and beat Crimson before entering the BFG Series. Now he’s on top of that and he has three potential opponents. He asks the three of them to come out and gets his wish all at once. Storm talks about Hardy and Joe before picking Ray. Ray comes to the ring and Storm says he’s getting even for last year when Ray eliminated him.

Rob is in the back with Christy when Magnus comes up and says he thinks Rob isn’t who he used to be. Rob pops him in the jaw and they brawl a bit.

Tag Titles: Christopher Daniels/Kazarian vs. ???/???

It’s Chavo/Hernandez of course. The champions are run out of the ring very quickly and the challengers take over to start. Hernandez and Daniels start and it’s quickly off to Chavo with a slingshot hilo ala Eddie. Back to Hernandez for a bearhug into a belly to belly suplex. Daniels gets in just enough offense on Chavo to tag in Kaz but a hip toss stops him as well. The challengers are tagging in and out very fast. Apparently their name is Tex Mex. Why not I guess.

Daniels comes back in for a few seconds and gets beaten up as well so it’s back to Kaz who gets caught in the over the shoulder backbreaker. Hernandez does the delayed vertical while Chavo hits the Three Amigos on Daniels at the same time. That was pretty awesome. The champs are reeling and we take a break. Back with Daniels beating on Chavo before tagging in Kaz again. A running flip neckbreaker puts Chavo down and it’s back to Daniels who throws him to the floor.

Kaz hooks a double chickenwing but Chavo fights out of it and rolls into the corner to tag Hernandez. There’s the slingshot shoulder and he runs over both champions with ax handles. He and Sheamus have a few similarities in the ring. Hernandez badly screws up an Alpha Bomb and heads up. Chavo hurricanranas his own partner onto Kaz for two as Daniels makes the save.

Chavo dives onto Kaz on the floor as Daniels hits a palm strike to Hernandez. Daniels heads to the floor and Hernandez hits a HUGE dive to take both of them out. Kaz gets splashed in the corner and Daniels brings in a title belt. Hernandez picks up Kaz for something but a belt shot to the ribs lets Kaz roll up SuperMex for the pin at 14:47.

Rating: B. Good stuff here for a match with all of 20 seconds of notice. Daniels and Kaz are better on the mic than they are in the ring which says a lot given how good they are in the ring. I wasn’t expecting much coming into this and they surprised me which is always something fun to see.

Hulk comes out immediately and makes the tag champs vs. Angle/Styles for Sunday.

We run down the card for the PPV. Ion defends against Dutt, RVD vs. Magnus, the Knockouts, the tag titles, the Knockouts and the BFG stuff.

Here’s Aries with Mike to make the deal. He talks about wanting to fight the guy who broke his arm on Sunday but gets impatient. Instead of making the deal, he’s just going to beat Mike until Mike talks. Mike says he’ll talk but a big guy from Aces and 8’s comes out to save him. The big guy knocks Mike out cold before he can talk and brawls with Aries to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. Another good show here as they managed to build most of a card for Sunday while still building up angles at the same time. Getting Aces and 8’s in the ring on Sunday was the next step they had to take eventually and it not being for the title is fine. Given that there’s nothing on the line on Sunday in that match and I still want to see it is a good sign. I’m impressed by how well they did things tonight and that’s a good sign.

Results
Jeff Hardy b. Samoa Joe – Arm trap headlock

Tara b. Gail Kim – Widow’s Peak

Bully Ray b. Rob Van Dam – Bubba Cutter

Christopher Daniels/Kazarian b. Hernandez/Chavo Guerrero – Rollup after a belt shot to Hernandez

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




Impact Wrestling – August 30, 2012: One Of The Best Impacts Ever

Impact Wrestling
Date: August 30, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz

Tonight is likely to be about Aces and 8’s again, but they really need to talk about the PPV. If my math is right, there’s only one match announced, and that’s the finals of the BFG Series, which may or may not be three matches. Other than that though, I don’t think anything is set. Then again it’s a throwaway show anyway. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s show. This is followed by the ending brawl from last week’s show where Aries’ hand/arm was broken.

Here’s Aries to open things up. He has a cast on his right hand but he holds the title up with it anyway. Aries talks about Aces and 8’s pulling off something major last week. He isn’t medically cleared to wrestle tonight, but he can fight. Also, they broke his right hand, but he punches with his left. Aries wants the leader to come out here tonight and fight him.

Instead (I hope) here are Hogan and Sting. Hogan rants about Aces and 8’s and thanks Sting for helping while Hogan was gone. Hulk is in charge again and says Aries can have whatever he wants. Aries says he wants the boss of Aces and 8’s again and here they are on the monitor. They seem to be celebrating and the leader says they’ll do things on their own time. They’ll be out here later on.

ODB calls Eric and says that if he doesn’t call back in ten minutes, they’re done. There’s no call and ODB says he has another five minutes. It goes over and hour and it’s still not over. She gives him until next week and wants fried chicken.

Bound For Glory Series Leaderboard

James Storm 66

Samoa Joe 61

Rob Van Dam 55

Bully Ray 55

AJ Styles 50

Kurt Angle 48

Mr. Anderson 47

Jeff Hardy 42

Christopher Daniels 33

Magnus 28

Robbie E 12

D’Angelo Dinero 7

Bound For Glory Series: Rob Van Dam vs. James Storm

Basically if Van Dam wins he clinches a spot in the final four but he still has another shot. Storm is more or less a lock already. Apparently whoever has the most points gets to pick who he faces in the semi-finals at No Surrender. Ok so it’s three matches at the PPV. Feeling out process to start with Storm getting a small advantage via a headlock. A kick from Van Dam and a forearm from Storm get two each.

They both fire away in the corner and no one can get an advantage again. Apparently whoever loses between Angle and Hardy is out of the running. Van Dam sends him to the floor and hits a big dive to take Storm out as we take a break. Back with Storm hitting a clothesline for two. Van Dam kicks him down again and hits Rolling Thunder for another near fall.

A running DDT from Storm gets another two and Eye of the Storm gets the same. Van Dam sends him into the corner and hits a yelling monkey flip to put Storm down. This is good back and forth stuff. Rob tries another monkey flip in the other corner but jumps into the superkick. It hit the chest but it gets the pin for Storm at 11:13.

Rating: B-. Good stuff here although the lack of transitions and the finish bring it down a bit. Still though, these two had good chemistry out there and it basically locks up a spot in the final four for Storm while giving Van Dam a need to win over whoever he faces next week. Good solid match here.

Here’s Madison who says she has her rematch for the title tonight. That’s not what she gets though.

ODB vs. Madison Rayne

ODB spits the liquid courage at Madison and starts very fast. The Bam (TKO) finishes this in 25 seconds.

Post match here’s Eric in a suit with fried chicken. He wants to leave with her but ODB doesn’t like the suit because that’s not the Eric she married. Eric doesn’t like it either so he strips. ODB eats chicken and jumps on him.

AJ says he’s glad the Clair stuff is behind him. Right now though, he’s focusing on the BFG Series.

The judges debate the Gut Check guy from last week. They don’t seem that impressed.

Hogan and Sting debate who gets to do something. Hogan wants a slow buildup to whatever they’re doing. Sting waves in Daniels and Kaz who beg to not be fired. Hogan yells at them a lot and says they’re what’s wrong with this business today. No, not really Hulk. They have to defend the titles sometime soon apparently. Sting scares the appletini out of Daniels’ glass to send the champions away. Hogan and Sting argue over the use of each others’ catchphrases.

Bound For Glory Series: Samoa Joe vs. AJ Styles

This should be good. Feeling out process to start but Joe blocks the drop down/kick because he knows AJ that well. AJ bails to the floor for a second before coming back in to continue feeling each other out. A clothesline puts AJ down but he nips up into a headscissors to send Joe into the corner. Joe is too heavy to suplex, but Joe misses a kick and AJ goes for the leg.

Joe kicks AJ off so AJ dropkicks Joe’s head off to send him to the floor. There’s a bit dive but Joe kicks him on the way down. AJ looks like he got snapped by a very wet towel. Back in and the snap powerslam gets two for the Samoan from LA. AJ gets chopped down and there’s an STF from the fat one. That doesn’t work so Joe switches over to the Rings of Saturn. AJ finally gets a rope so Joe kicks his head off.

The backsplash misses so AJ hits the springboard forearm. He Pele’s the arm that Magnus injured with the chair a few weeks back but Joe blocks a cross armbreaker. AJ charges at Joe in the corner, only to get Rock Bottomed down. The Clutch is countered into a pair of rollups for two but the second is countered into the Clutch but it’s not fully on. AJ escapes that and puts on the armbreaker, but Joe rolls on top of him for the pin at 8:10.

Rating: B. These two are good by definition and I really liked this one. Give this another five to eight minutes and it’s a classic. The idea of AJ going for the submission is a logical idea given the points system and Joe being able to counter all of them was the perfect story to go with. See? Psychology isn’t that hard and it works very well.

Time for Gut Check. Lewie says that he gave his best effort but also says he gets better every day. Taz says no. Pritchard says no as well thank goodness. Joey ryan pops up with a megaphone and goes off on Snow before throwing a drink on him. Snow has to be held back. That doesn’t last long and Snow chases Ryan out of the arena.

Joseph Park asks Sting and Hogan if he can investigate Aces and 8’s. Hulk agrees, presumably to get Park to leave him alone.

Bound For Glory Series: Jeff Hardy vs. Kurt Angle

Both guys basically have to win. They have a ton of time too so this should be good. Angle almost immediately takes Hardy to the mat and puts on an armbar. Hardy counters into one of his own but Kurt will have none of that. Jeff headscissors him to the floor and hits a clothesline off the apron to take both guys down. Jeff kicks him in the corner but Kurt comes out with a clothesline as we take a break.

Back with Hardy using his fast paced comeback, including the legdrop between the legs and a low dropkick for two. That just fires Kurt up and it’s rolling Germans time. Hardy comes back with a Twisting Stunner for two followed by the Whisper in the Wind for the same. Angle snaps off a belly to belly and there go the straps.

A big Angle Slam gets two and why is Kurt surprised by that? Seriously, why? Ankle lock is countered into a rollup and a Twist of Fate. Swanton hits perfectly but only gets a very close two. Ankle lock is countered again and the mule kick looks to set up the Swanton again, but Kurt runs the ropes. Jeff shoves him off (good thing too as Angle was in the middle of the ring) and the second Swanton gets the pin at 11:15.

Rating: B. I know Angle does the same formula to almost all of his matches, but dang is it a good formula. This was the second great match of the night which is more than you get in almost any TV show anymore. When Hardy has someone in there to keep him grounded, he’s one of the best there is and that’s what he got here. Very good match.

Angle is eliminated from the Series now.

JB introduces the final five people who could still make No Surrender: Hardy, RVD, Samoa Joe, Bully Ray and James Storm. Next week it’s Hardy vs. Joe and RVD vs. Ray. Storm has already locked in his spot at No Surrender. No word on who has to do what to win.

Here’s Aries to close the show. Instead of the leader of Aces and 8’s, we get Hogan again. I really don’t like the way that seems to be going. The final five are behind Hogan and Sting on the stage. Scratch that as Styles is there too and Ray is next to Sting and Hogan. Hogan wants to see the faces of Aces and 8’s. Aries says he wants the ugly one but they can pick who that is. Aces and 8’s show up in the crowd and Hogan calls them out again. He says their finest is in the ring so Aces and 8’s can send their finest too.

Two smaller guys go to the railing but they’re just opening it for a bigger guy to get in the ring. This is a fight, not a match. The guy is right handed and he slugs Aries down. Aries spears him down and pounds away as the rest of the team gets in. It’s a big brawl on the floor while aries pounds on the guy that was sent into the ring. The running dropkick in the corner takes the big guy down and hee goes for the mask. Someone gets on the apron and puts his mask back on while pulling out a flapjack. He knocks Aries out and the whole team runs off. Apparently the guy that hit Aries wasn’t there at first. Aries is out cold to end the show.

Overall Rating: A. When you have three matches and they all rock like this, what more can you ask for from a free show? That being said, they didn’t do much at all for the PPV. Then again, who freaking cares? TNA has never been about the PPV builds and when you get a show like this, what difference does it make? Next week is going to be huge with the final matches in the Series before the finals three days later. Great show here and one of the best Impacts I can ever remember.

Results

James Storm b. Rob Van Dam – Last Call

ODB b. Madison Rayne – The Bam

Samoa Joe b. AJ Styles – Rollup

Jeff Hardy b. Kurt Angle – Swanton Bomb

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




History of Summerslam Count-Up – 2009: Smackdown Main Events. Stop Laughing. They Really Do.

Summerslam 2009
Date: August 23, 2009
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 17,129
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Todd Grisham, Matt Striker, Josh Matthews

With another year under our belts since the previous Summerslam, our main feuds are Cena and Orton and Punk (woo!) and Hardy. As many of you may likely know, this very well could be Hardy’s last match with the company. Our other big deal is the return (again) of DX, this time facing Legacy.

While a lot of people have criticized this, the segment that they had on Raw was excellent in my eyes. Shawn is a guy that can just come from nowhere and have a great match. The card actually looks pretty freaking sweet tonight. That doesn’t mean it’ll be good, but let’s get to this.

I liked the Summerslam logo this year. It looked a bit old school. The intro is hijacked by DX doing shadow puppets, but they freeze it on Legacy. Apparently this was the kiss cam and Cody loves Ted. Ted says ditto. So he loves himself I guess?

Anyway, they have some shenanigans going on which are kind of funny. I like the DX comedy sometimes. It’s not going to be the 90s version, so why compare it to that? It was fairly funny, involving DX breaking the feed of the intro and Shawn trying to fix it. It’s better than it sounds.

JR does the opening alone. That’s just odd. I like Aerosmith though so I’m not complaining about the music. As has become the custom, no buildup for the first match.

Intercontinental Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Dolph Ziggler

I’m quite surprised this is opening. This is a rematch from NOC as well, which allegedly was brought on by Rey simply whining about not having a long enough reign yet. Based on that, I think the title change is coming here but odder things have happened before. They had a great match last month so I’m assuming this will be good too. Ziggler is growing on me, but I have a hard time getting on Kerwin White.

Rey comes out first. Why? He’s the champion. Now we get Grisham to talk so that’s an improvement I guess. I like the purple and gold on him. It’s almost reminiscent of his WCW days but not quite. I miss the big semi-circle video screen that they used to have for Summerslam. Ross forgot Ziggler’s first name. How dare he forget the real name of Ivan Drago? Ziggler’s music is awesome. How did Kerwin White actually keep a job this long?

Just goes to show you that you can’t make fun of wrestlers when they have horrible gimmicks. Other than Santino of course. He will always suck. The graphic of the belt looks very cool for some reason. Wow the IC belt is actually opening the show. That’s an odd thing to think of. Ziggler is freaking ripped. I’m getting close, dangerously close actually, to liking this guy.

Love that quick powerslam that’s done coming off of the ropes. It just looks awesome. Ok, that moonsault was SWEET. Rey doesn’t do his old style often, but when he does it’s freaking amazing. Ziggler has leopard print gloves. That’s either really stupid or really awesome. That was a pretty weak corner powerbomb. I guess Rey’s size makes up for it. This has been pretty hard hitting so far. What more can you ask for?

Apparently Rey makes a habit out of getting people in the corner and drop toe holding them. Yeah I’ve never seen him do that in the corner either. Thank you JR. Dolph just kills him with a clothesline afterwards. That looked awesome. He used a Stinger Splash. He has to be cool. Sick looking head bump on the post from it too. Rey goes for a springboard reverse crossbody but Dolph hits a perfect dropkick to the ribs. That was sweet.

This is a very good match. And there it is. We have our stupid way to get into position for the 619. My only criticism of Dolph is his offense is a bit basic. If he upgrades that he’ll be very good. He’s rocking the bad Mr. Perfect haircut though, so I’m not wild about that either. I kind of like the white ropes, but I’m not sure.

Ziggler finally avoids the springboard splash in the most basic way of all: he sits up. Why is that so complicated for some people? The fans are chanting for Ziggler here, which is surprising but also good I guess. Rey gets a hurricanrana from the top to win and keep the title in a very good match.

Rating: A-. This was a GREAT opener. It was fast paced, it was solid, and the face won. I’m hyped for the rest of the show and it’s 330 in the morning. That’s exactly what an opening match is supposed to be. See how effective the IC belt can be when it’s not being used in bad comedy angles? Ziggler looks awesome here which is all you can ask for. See what they do on Smackdown? They have the veterans make the young guys look good. That’s how you keep the future going people.

Josh is in the back with Swagger and MVP who say that tonight there’s a culture clash. Both are solid on the mic here, but Swagger impresses me a lot more. He’s got the heel character down to a T and the cockiness is perfect. MVP is good, but not as good. Also, he talks about how Swagger has this great background and was a rich kid. Ok, that’s fine, but he still won with athleticism in the NCAA. Swagger won this promo war with ease and he’s making the DDP two time two time thing better.

King and Lawler say nothing of importance.

Jack Swagger vs. MVP

My goodness…could it be? I mean, it’s impossible isn’t it? This couldn’t be…a regular non-title midcard match? I…I think it is! Now, can you find anyone that actually thinks MVP has a chance? His face turn has been a complete disaster as he’s just cut out to be the cocky heel. Go back to it already. After those promos, I’m looking forward to this. The opening 25 minutes to this has been pretty sweet so far.

MVP goes for the Ballin Elbow about 19 seconds into this, but because it takes longer than that to set it up, it doesn’t work. I don’t get why these two are having this match anyway, since Swagger pinned him clean already on Raw. This is a very slow paced match and the fans aren’t liking it that much. They’re way behind the face though as he’s in the Monsoon Special, which I’m sure Gorilla would find something wrong with.

Looking at it, it is pretty sloppy. Sick clothesline stops MVP’s comeback though. Into a half camel clutch which wouldn’t actually hurt but now it’s full. At least Swagger knows how to hurt people. Ok, Swagger gets knocked down and MVP sets up for the Ballin Elbow. I timed him on this: SIXTEEN SECONDS from the time that he got in position to the time it connected. That’s over 5 pins. Seriously, could you not just cover him in that amount of time?

They fight a bit more…and MVP wins clean with the playmaker? What the heck? MVP actually won this thing and he did it clean. How in the world did that happen? I’m genuinely surprised by that, and I don’t think it’s in a good way. AGAIN they mention the chick from The View. WE GET IT!

Rating: C. This was fine, but short and surprising. It certainly wasn’t bad, but at just 6 and a half minutes they didn’t have the time to get anything going. There were some bad spots in there too where it was just flat out boring, but luckily they were quick. Again, not bad, but it’s really nothing special. It felt like a Raw match.

Don’t try this at home. Good advice actually.

Luke Perry is here. I don’t care.

We get a recap of the guest hosting thing, which I think has gone well. ZZ Top was awful but other than that, I think it’s gone well. I still want to murder Dr. Ken though. It’s worked for one simple reason in my eyes: for the most part, they’ve gotten people that either have a ton of charisma or seem like legit WWE fans. That’s all you can ask for really.

Nancy O’Dell reads off a script about her charity. Yeah that’s fine. It’s for ALS, aka Lou Gehrig’s Disease. She talks to people like Freddie Prinze Jr…and that’s it. She’s apparently going to host Raw in the future. I’ll be reading something that night. She’s very annoying.

Tag Titles: Big Show/Jericho vs. Cryme Tyme

Speaking of annoying, I don’t like the champion’s new music. This has actually been built up pretty well I’d think, with Show being the partner to replace Edge when he got hurt. It seemed to me that was a last second decision, but whatever. Cryme Tyme is one of the oddest teams I can ever remember. They’ve never actually done anything, so maybe they will here. I’m not holding my breath though.

Actually, this match has gotten the third most build, which isn’t what I expected. However, I’m certainly glad to see a tag title match getting this kind of TV time. It’s what the belts really need. Again the champions come out first. Jericho runs down celebrities in general. Isn’t he a celebrity as well? Oh apparently he’s a superstar, which isn’t a celebrity. That…doesn’t make a lot of sense.

For the second time in 2 minutes we hear that they have over 40 titles between them. Show looks like he’s losing a bit of weight. That’s a good thing. Cryme Tyme interrupts Show’s promo. Remember what I said about the show being good so far? They just ruined it. They’re just freaking annoying to say the least. What have they ever actually accomplished? Oh yeah they got fired for being annoying.

JR makes another reference that no one gets. There’s no way that the faces are winning here, due to reasons of suck, but maybe at least we can get a decent match out of it. Yeah that’s not going to happen I don’t think. Jericho goes for the walls but instead goes for a slingshot. JTG just kind of jumps on him, which looks sloppy and stupid as usual. Grisham says that they’re trying to turn Hollywood into Holly-hood. Take me now.

JTG has to stay in there longer than he should simply because Shad sucks. He’s a beast as far as his look goes though, and he’s able to stand up to Show in the size department. Yeah he’s a lot better on defense. Show is freaking scary to say the least. Jericho whispers a spot to Shad which looks really bad. It’s never good when it’s on a major PPV and a veteran has to carry a team that’s been around as long as Cryme Tyme has been.

I think that’s my real issue with them: they’ve been around for a good few years and they just never get any better. The full nelson is applied, and of course we have the eternal question: WHO WAS NELSON? Maybe Babyface Nelson? Anybody? Anybody? I’ll be here all night. Jericho puts another hold on him, which makes sense because it’s really all Shad can do: get put in holds and sit there. It’s a scary thing when JTG is the bright spot of the team. Yeah this team is awful.

Jericho gets him in the Walls, and amazingly, he doesn’t tap. Seriously, can they bury this move any more than they already have? It’s just stupid how it doesn’t work on anyone at all anymore. When’s the last time someone tapped to it? Anyway, Show hits the punch for the knockout and Jericho gets the glory.

I’m really starting to like this team dynamic as Jericho does all the talking but Show wins the matches for them. At the very end of the segment, Ross mentions Big Show is undefeated at Summerslam. See, that is an interesting stat, and it would have been a lot more interesting at the beginning of the match.

Rating: D+. Yeah this was boring. Shad is just flat out awful, and JTG is just ok. The only reason they get over is their gimmick and nothing more. That’s just flat out boring in all aspects and nothing good comes of it. I can’t stand them and there was just nothing they could do here to make this interesting at all.

Ad for Breaking Point. Interesting concept, but I’m not sold on it. The main events only thing makes me feel better though.

Josh is with Punk who says a movie script he found called the Jeff Hardy story. He runs down LA and the lifestyle there and elsewhere, which yet again, rings amazingly true on so many levels. Every single thing that Punk has said in his promos has been true, and it’s amazing to say the least.

Kane vs. Great Khali

Again, no transition at all. I like Kane’s music here. Once Kane is in the ring, we actually get a long recap, which could have gone…I don’t know, before his entrance so it’s not him just standing there in the ring? This is an intriguing match to me as they’ve had a fairly long build with no official match. That’s a nice plus for a change as it gives this a bit more of a build. Now, if they manage to have a passable match, then we have proof that HBK/God vs. the McMahons was indeed a tag team match.

The reveal of Singh as Khali’s brother was pretty boring but it gives it a bit of a reason for being around Khali so much. Hopefully, this will be short and painless, but I’m not betting on that. JR mentions that Kane is on a four match winning streak at Summerslam. See? That’s another interesting stat and it makes you wonder if he can extend it here tonight. It’s small, but it adds a tiny bit more to the match and might get people more interested in it.

That’s what a commentator is supposed to do: offer insight. When you watch a DVD and listen to a special commentary, you’re listening for insights, maybe some numbers or stories that you wouldn’t know otherwise. That’s what wrestling commentators are supposed to do, but it so rarely happens which is a shame. JR says it’s a bowling shoe match, meaning we’re sorry that this is going to suck so badly.

A lot of this is just Khali showing off how strong he is, which is fine I guess, but I’d like more action. Khali misses a bad looking legdrop and then just sits there. He doesn’t sell anything or anything like that, but just sits there for the low dropkick. Kane apparently sees evil and likes it. I guess that’s why See No Evil sucked: Kane just wasn’t motivated. They fight over their respective chokeslams but that goes nowhere. Oh this is bad. It’s just so freaking sloppy.

To be fair though, what do you expect from two monsters like these? Khali with a sick sounding chop. The top rope clothesline puts Khali down and gets two. He doesn’t really kick out but it’s implied his shoulder was up. JR brings up an interesting point: if Khali quit in his language, would the referee understand it? Amazingly, the Khali chop isn’t enough for a pin. Geez Khali’s hands are freaking massive.

Kane hits a running dropkick to the knee and a running DDT for the win. That finish was kind of awesome actually. I love that Kane didn’t use a bad chokeslam to win it. That’s what I want to see more of in the WWE today: wrestlers winning with moves other than their finishers. It’s not really that hard to do and it works very well I think. Do it more often.

Rating: D+. Oy this was bad indeed. It was very sloppy, but the ending made it a lot better. Also, it was less than 6 minutes. See, that’s intelligent booking. You know these two aren’t going to have a great match, so keep it short. That makes a lot of sense and it made things a lot better than they could have been.

Some hot woman from a talk show is here. Slash is here too, so it’s closer to making me care. Robert Patrick is here.

We hit the recap button on DX vs. Legacy. This one is pretty short. HHH kept getting his teeth kicked in by them so he said he’d make one phone call. It wound up being about three but he eventually found Shawn as a cook in a diner in San Antonio, in what I thought was a very funny segment. This was followed up by Legacy actually beating them down in a run in on Raw a few days prior to this which at least made this look possible.

Oddly, the stuff about him being a cook is completely omitted from the recap video. What we do get though is a bunch of clips from some of their old exploits which have absolutely nothing to do with this feud or match. For some reason people were hoping that X-Pac or someone like that would return. People, the old DX is dead. All you’re going to get is these two buffoons, so be happy with it and let go of the past already.

Also, this really isn’t as bad as people make it out to be. They’re going to have decent matches and it’s going to help Legacy look legit if they win a single match, which is a good thing. DX can do whatever they like out there and they’re going to get cheered. What else can you ask for out of them really? It’s HHH against someone not named Orton. Be happy.

DX vs. Legacy

Now this is for some reason considered one of the main events. Why? What makes this one of the big matches? Yes, Shawn is back, but when HHH returned against Booker in 2007 it was a midcard match and that was fine. I get that it’s the third biggest match by default, but that doesn’t mean it should be. I’d put the tag titles above this as they’ve had far more build, but whatever. Anyway, let’s get to this.

Ok, I’ve heard great things about the DX intro, and I’ll admit, it was awesome. Basically, it’s an army theme with a bunch of troops coming out in a jeep and firing off guns. Then the stage splits apart and DX comes out on a tank, launching of a bunch of fireworks. The fans are WAY into it and it’s cool. Everything is loud and big here and the crowd is screaming. That’s what you’re looking for here. The fans are the most important thing at the end of the day and they’re loving this.

Screw the people that think the return of DX was stupid. It’s cool and it’s working. The glow sticks are a cool idea too and I’m surprised it took this long for them to be invented. It takes about 5 minutes, but so what? The reaction was awesome, so rock on. Legacy is the evil opponent here, but they have some sweet music. It’s not as great as their 39th song, but it’s better than theme 341B. The announcers point out that this is a huge chance for Legacy and they’re absolutely right.

DX is a team of two hall of fame members, and Legacy are young guys. This is their chance, so hopefully they don’t get crushed. Naturally, HHH starts going strong which makes sense as he’s the face, so why wouldn’t he be in control at first? Oh apparently the right knee of HHH is his vintage knee. That’s good to know. Shawn gets tagged in to a big pop. Apparently the fans think something of this guy.

He does a cool spot where he fakes Cody out when Cody goes for a leapfrog but Shawn gets slapped. That was stupid don’t you think? There’s the return slap that you knew was coming. Legacy is controlling the match. That’s a lot more than I expected them to do actually. HHH is in now and not dominating. This is being worked slowly towards a big ending. That’s a truly lost art in tag team wrestling today.

I’m liking this: DX gets momentum and Legacy keeps stopping them. See, this is how you build a tag team: you let them look good. That’s what veterans are supposed to do: make young guys look good. DiBiase uses a chin lock. Good to see those Orton lessons paying off. It amuses me that as a tag team, Legacy is light years more successful than DX has been. Legacy is I think 3 time tag champions?

DX has definitely never won a tag title. What does that tell you? Lawler says this isn’t what DX had in mind. Yeah they were looking for some Chinese Checkers. Legacy is doing a great job here of keeping HHH in the ring. That’s very old school and it’s working quite well here. We get the boo yay punching sequence which I always kind of hate. Shawn gets the tag in. Cody goes for the Shawn elbow, which apparently is him stealing the move.

I love how they make no issue of Shawn stealing it from Savage who was winning world titles with it before Shawn debuted in the WWF. DX is actually in trouble here and the announcers are putting them over huge, which is all you can ask for. The crowd starts wooing as Shawn puts on a figure four. Cody hits Crossroads on Shawn, which is actually a pretty good name for his finishing move I guess. Rhodes takes a Pedigree as Shawn takes Dream Street.

Dang I actually couldn’t tell Legacy apart there. That’s not a good sign at all. In one of the fastest endings I’ve ever seen, Shawn hits Sweet at least 4 inches from Cody’s Chin Music for the pin. Yeah that wasn’t even close. Literally they were both just standing up and leaning on each other then Shawn took a step back and kicked. Yeah he missed but maybe the air knocked Cody down?

Rating: A. This was a great tag team match for many reasons, but the big one was that Legacy was made to look legit. This wasn’t like when DX dismantled the Spirit Squad week in and week out. Legacy had me believing that the upset was indeed possible. DX made them look good here in a very good 20 minute match. DX should have won, but they won the right way here. That was by far Legacy’s biggest and best match ever, and they brought their best. I’m impressed with both teams.

Ad for the WM 25 special on Saturday which is going to bomb.

ECW Title: Christian vs. William Regal

Not a ton of backstory here. One night on the Abraham Washington Show, a talk show segment on ECW, Regal was simply announced as the #1 contender. 5 days prior to this, he hooked up with Kozlov and Ezekiel Jackson to form a trio with the only real thing in common being that they’re heels. This should be ok I guess. I still have no clue what the massive appeal of Christian is, although he’s had some decent matches lately.

I feel so sorry for the ECW announcers. Literally, we haven’t heard their voices until now, an hour and 40 minutes into the show. Also, yet again the champion comes out first. That’s just odd. Regal comes out with his two big henchmen.

Jackson’s heel turn was just odd as he was a face for all of two weeks and he was never an actual face at that. All that being said, it’s a 10 second match. Regal gets hit with the Killswitch and is out. Jackson and Kozlov are you beaters tonight. I prefer the Weasleys, but that’s just me. They half kill him here as the name Regal’s Roundtable is used. I like that…kind of.

Rating: N/A. Regal doesn’t belong on a major show like this, so I have no issues here at all. I’ve heard a lot of people complaining about how this was a disgrace and what not like that. Hogwash, this was great. Number one, the exact same thing happened last year as the ECW Title match got 33 seconds. Number two, this got the people’s attention and it made them believe that a match could end at any time.

That’s one of the major evils in WWE right now: there’s no point to watch the first 10-15 minutes of a world title match as it’s always going to go longer than that. Here you have a match where if you turn around to pet your cat the match is over. That’s brilliant. Number three, there was no build at all here. This gives you something to further the angle so you can have a rematch next month. Number four, people are talking about this now.

Isn’t that the point of any match? Number five, EVERYONE knew Christian was retaining here. How awesome does this make him look as champion? He beat an established veteran that fast with one move. This was a stroke of genius, not a disgrace.

They air some video about some F list celebrities and a charity event the roster was at. I won’t make fun of charity events, ever.

Let’s thank Aerosmith for our pointless theme song.

We get something resembling a recap of last Monday where they were tag partners. Cole says that Orton showed his true colors by attacking Orton after the match. EXCUSE ME? HE IS A FREAKING HEEL! HE NEVER WANTED TO BE IN THE TEAM IN THE FIRST PLACE! How is he showing his true colors by doing what he’s done the whole time? My goodness Cole does it cost you money to think or something?

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Randy Orton

Well, at least it’s not HHH again. Basically, it’s pretty simple. Cena won the beat the clock thing to get here, and no one is surprised at all. In a rematch from two years ago, let’s do this. Cena runs to the ring which is kind of odd indeed. He gives his hat to his Marine co-star. Great way to get over with the kids there Johnny Boy. Orton comes out to a chorus of mostly boos. Why does the title graphic spin when the belt itself doesn’t?

My goodness I love the big fight introductions. They just work on all levels. After those, we get our recaps. Yeah that’s actually a bit better. It doesn’t waste as much time. They start off on the mat which actually goes pretty well. That’s something you rarely see from these two and while they’re hardly Kurt Angle, that was pretty good. Orton puts Cena down for awhile and when Cena is trying to get back up, it really looks like he’s trying to give Orton head through the tights.

I know that’s said a lot, but this is the closest it’s ever gotten. Orton takes FOREVER to drop a knee which looks like he’s going for a splash. It’s a new move, so of course it’s vintage. I have no problem when it’s actually a vintage move: HBK’s forearm, the facebuster by HHH, Old School etc. However, a move by Orton that he’s bene using for a few months at most? Give me a break. It’s a misuse of the word and insulting to my intelligence.

Cena hits You Can’t See Me, even though I can see him the entire time. This match is FLYING by. It feels like there was no intro or build and we’re already in the middle of it. That’s not good. FU doesn’t go and Orton hits a powerslam, called a scoop slam by Cole, to get back in control. They flat out say the WWE Title is the more valuable title. At least they admit it. Orton goes for the same knee and this time Cena gets out of the way. At least he’s intelligent.

I really don’t like this referee. He has that hitch in his count and it’s just aggravating. Orton hits that elevated DDT which I love as it’s a move that the ropes actually make better. Orton’s eyes really are great when he’s setting for the RKO. Facial expressions can make or break a match. Edge, Orton and Punk are some of the best there are at it. Punt misses and Cena hits the throwback. He hits the top rope legdrop about as well as he ever has, which is to say he actually connected with it.

Apparently Cena throwing his hands up and jumping up and down means FU now. It’s double clothesline time to make this a bit boring. Why is it only on a double clothesline that they’re devastating moves and not something that the guy pops up from? The fans seem confused as to who to cheer for. Orton shoves the referee, rolls to the floor and grabs his belt and leaves. Now we have where this match has been getting destroyed since Sunday.

I say that as Lillian is on screen making me think I should rephrase that, but at the same time maybe I shouldn’t. Within seconds, she’s received word from Vince…but she trails off. She then announces Orton as the new champion, when she was supposed to say still champion. That’s a major screw up and I think it’s because they blew the spot and tried to do too much at once.

Cole tries to cover as fast as he can, and NOW we get the orders right as Vince has said that if Orton gets disqualified Cena wins the belt. More on that later. So the match is restarted and Cena is dominating. Orton goes to the floor and asks for the belt, which is dropped at first, and then he walks to the back saying that he’s done.

Ok, now we’re restarting it AGAIN, and now if he gets counted out we have a new champion. Ok, how in the WORLD did she get word that fast? Both finishers are teased but Orton gets a roll up with his feet on the ropes to steal it.

OR DOES HE?

Another referee comes out and says that Orton has his feet on the ropes, so the original referee says this doesn’t count. Ok wait, back up. What about all the times when it’s said that the referee’s decision is final? If that’s the case, then one of two things should happen. #1, no match can end until the referee has had a chance to go back and rewatch the match, or #2, no decision is ever final since if the referee’s decision is final, then he could in theory go back and reverse it at anytime.

In other words, if the referee can reverse his own final decision, then couldn’t a referee go back and reverse something from years ago? If he has final say I don’t see why not. Guess what? It’s another restart. Best sign of the year: This is Why I Watch Smackdown. Preach it brother. STFU is put on and we get the rapidly becoming infamous moment as a “fan” (it’s Ted DiBiase’s brother Brett but that’s not revealed until tomorrow night) jumps into the ring.

Ok, reasons why this is clearly fake. #1, everything stops. In a real situation like this they just keep going. #2, they put the camera on the guy. That makes it fake as whenever this happens, the cameras go off and you can see the fans all watching the guy. #3, they talk about it. That NEVER happens.

#4, and most important of all, given the fact that the match has been restarted 3 times now, do you really expect this to be real? That was my biggest reason. It’s too unrealistic (and that’s saying a lot given this match) for it to have not been planned. Orton hits a quick RKO for the pin.

Rating: B-. For this rating, I’m factoring out all the insanity and I’ll explain why in just a second. Without all that stuff, this was a bad match. It was boring, it was very rushed, and it just wasn’t entertaining. However, I blame a lot of that on the booking, which is what killed this for me. The rating is fairly up there because a lot of the rhythm was taken away by stupid booking. Lillian messed up her lines, and that’s fine.

She had three freaking sets of them. This match suffered horribly from being overbooked. Why do you need the three restarts if you’re going to do the fan thing? Do one or the other, not four things. It’s too confusing, it takes too long, and it’s just freaking stupid by the end. The fan run in thing would have been fine and actually pretty creative if not for the other three restarts.

Why do you need to have so much stuff in the world title match? It makes things look silly to me and it just makes thing far more complicated than they need to be. The match was bad, but the grade will be high because I think a lot of what was bad was based on the booking of the match and not what the wrestlers were doing. In essence, they had to remember four finishes. That’s asking too much of any wrestler and I think it had a lot to do with them not being that on here.

We recap the Punk/Hardy feud, which has been AWESOME.

Smackdown World Title: CM Punk vs. Jeff Hardy

This has been one of the best feuds in recent memory for a few reasons. One, it’s Punk at his best. Two, the clash is so natural that it’s great. Three, the matches have been great. It’s possible Hardy is done after this, so I’d expect a new champion. Punk lost the title to Hardy at Night of Champions in what I would call an odd choice after Punk delivered one of the best promos I’ve ever heard that had me cheering in my room.

Anyway, this is a TLC match, which actually plays into the two time MITB winner’s hands I’d think. Thankfully this has gone on last. Other than some lines from Ross about how Hardy is addicted to adrenaline, it’s a standard hard hitting spotfest that you’ve grown to know and accept in these places. Hardy has some mixed reactions here as I think it’s gotten out that he’s gone. Do announcers not pay attention?

Why are all ladders the biggest they’ve ever seen? Did you know Jeff is like smoke being poured through a keyhole? I’m not sure if you caught it the first 10,000 times Ross has said it. Yep and there it is the major spot, as Hardy, for about the fourth time in his career, goes to the huge ladder and hits the super swanton. Yeah it looks cool, but dang we’ve seen it way too many times. Why didn’t Punk move either?

He wasn’t tied down and it took Hardy longer than it takes him to smoke a bowl to get up there. More commentary problems as this is going on too. Hey, in case you didn’t see it, here’s 15 replays. Hardy is being taken out on a stretcher. I guess that’s how they’re ending him? Yeah that’s…different I guess. While this is happening, Punk starts climbing. Hardy pops up to go after him though.

I love the powers of recuperation that wrestlers have. Punk is hopping up the ladder and it’s just hysterical looking. He looks like a freaking rabbit. Hardy takes a straight fall down off the ladder as Punk takes the belt to end the show. Sweetness indeed. The announcers of course try to make this out to be completely epic. JR sounds like he’s ordering dinner. Way to show emotion there buddy. No wonder you’re in the Hall of Fame.

Before we go though, the gong rings. Taker pops up from under the ring and chokeslams Punk, who is somehow STILL not being respected as champion. Yeah I don’t like this. Match was good though. Post match, a gong strikes. Taker pops up from under the ring and chokeslams the new champion to end the show.

Rating: A. This was a great match and a great way to end the show. It wasn’t complicated like the last show and to me shows why Smackdown is way ahead of Raw right now. This wasn’t all drama and over the top stuff. Sure it was a gimmick match, but it was about the match and not some big screwjob.

At the end of the day, the best way to get over and have a good match/feud is to have good action, not good stories. The last two matches are a classic example of that, and Smackdown did it right while Raw failed.

Overall Rating: A-. This was a VERY good show. It’s not great, but it’s close. The worst match of the night is Kane/Khali, but it’s at least watchable. They kept it short which was smart. The tag title wasn’t much but they kept JTG in there for the majority of the time which is certainly the right thing to do.

Other than that and the STUPID booking for the Raw title match, I really liked this show for one reason: it was about the in ring stuff. That’s the solution to any wrestling company’s problem. At the end of the day, have good matches and the fans will be happy. The matches were good and I’m very pleased with this show and it gets a big recommendation.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




Impact Wrestling – August 16, 2012: It Wasn’t Him

Impact Wrestling
Date: August 16, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

We’re past Hardcore Justice and for the most part things are the same. Aries is the world champion still and Roode has no rematch. The BFG Series is starting to wrap up with the finals being at the next PPV in the form of No Surrender. Tonight we have at least two BFG Series matches as most of the guys don’t have many matches left. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the end of the show last week with Aces and 8’s not attacking Ray. No mention of the PPV is made at all.

Here’s Aries to open the show. He spells and defines the word fluke which he says he’s proven wrong. The doubters can go fluk (I spelled that right) themselves because he’s now the face of this company. No one is going to tell him what to do or think and this company isn’t going to be held hostages. Aces and 8’s has always been near the world title but he’s going into BFG and keeping the title he walks in with.

This brings out Jeff Hardy who is limping. Jeff, who looks like a tire ran over his face, says he’ll win the Series. Hardy calls out Aces and 8’s but gets Bully Ray instead. He calls Hardy stupid and says Storm is behind Aces and 8’s. Ray references Matt Hardy but he didn’t realize Jeff was that stupid. He talks about how Hardy had Storm in trouble when Aces and 8’s came back. Ray got lucky and won the match, meaning he beat Jeff Hardy and that he’s going to BFG to win the title.

Aries disagrees and talks to Ray’s calves because that’s where the brains are. He says Ray isn’t going to win the title because Aries will be waiting at BFG. Aries suggests Ray is behind Aces and 8’s and the group pops up on the screen. The leader says they’re all about I think luck and commitment. He references Ray getting lucky at the PPV and says sometimes you get lucky and sometimes you get the Dead Man’s Hand. Tonight they’re going to make a big impact. Ray says it’s right in front of Aries’ and Hardy’s face and we cut to commercial in mid sentence. It’s very annoying when they do that.

Back with recaps of the three BFG Series matches on Sunday.

Bound For Glory Series Leaderboard

James Storm 66

Rob Van Dam 55

Samoa Joe 56

Kurt Angle 48

Bully Ray 48

Mr. Anderson 40

AJ Styles 36

Jeff Hardy 35

Christopher Daniels 33

Magnus 28

D’Angelo Dinero 7

Robbie E 5

Magnus talks about how he’s ready for Joe because he knows him better than anyone.

Bound For Glory Series: Samoa Joe vs. Magnus

Joe has three matches left and we’re not told how many the Brit has left. Joe quickly takes Magnus down but misses a backsplash. Magnus misses an elbow but ducks a kick. The idea is that they know each other so well that they keep countering each other. Joe can’t hook a Crossface so Magnus heads to the floor.

A HARD forearm puts Magnus down but he comes back with a kind of scoop brainbuster (think the Snow Plow but starting in a slam position instead of a suplex) for two. Joe takes him into the corner and kicks him in the head but can’t hit the MuscleBuster. Magnus’ middle rope elbow misses and he charges into the release Rock Bottom. The Clutch is escaped but Joe hooks an ugly looking La Majistral for the pin at 3:23.

Rating: C+. I was digging the idea here and Joe goes to second place again with the win. Magnus is fine in the jobber roll in the competition despite having a lot of points of his own. He needs something to do after the competition so hopefully he gets a feud soon. The match was short but they packed a lot into it which is a good idea.

Post match Magnus hits Joe with a chair but it seems to annoy him instead of hurt him.

Madison is summoned to the ring by Brooke Hogan.

Here’s Madison, the new Knockouts Champion, to the ring. With no Brooke here, Madison says we’re going to party tonight. She says there’s a strong referee behind every great woman, so here’s Earl Hebner. Here’s Brooke who says Madison has some shady stuff going on. Earl isn’t going to referee anymore Knockouts matches. Tessmacher gets her rematch tonight and there’s a female guest referee for later.

Madison yells and says this is typical Hogan, as in she’ll talk about everything but is no action. Brooke charges (well as fast as you can in a dress that short) but Madison runs. Aces and 8’s pop up behind Brooke but the locker room empties out to chase them off. Storm comes in behind them after Aces and 8’s are out and we take another abrupt break.

Post break Sting, Angle, Aries and Hardy are in the ring with Sting going on a rant against Aces and 8’s. Next week on Open Fight Night, it’s on at the top of the show.

Kaz and Daniels are apparently in the new issue of Amazing Spider-Man. Kaz says that the Phenomenal Fetus won’t be Amazing. I have to pause for a second to appreciate how awesome of a line that was. Anyway AJ pops up and says if he loses to Daniels tonight, he’ll accept being the father. If he wins though, there’s a paternity test. Kaz: “HE’S GOING MAURY POVITCH ON US!”

Bound For Glory Series: AJ Styles vs. Christopher Daniels

Kaz is ejected before the match. They quickly head to the floor and back inside, Daniels tries a rollup with feet on the ropes but gets caught. AJ punches him down and then sends him into a few corners to take over. Styles beats Daniels up for a bit, hitting a BIG backdrop to make Daniels beg off. A clothesline puts Daniels down for two.

We take a break and come back with AJ escaping a headlock and hitting the drop down/kick for two. AJ puts Daniels in a bridging Indian Deathlock and then off to a half crab. Back to the Deathlock but Daniels bites the fingers to get out of it. That’s a smart move if nothing else. Styles gets hot shotted and Daniels hits kind of a clothesline to the back of his head for two. A back suplex gets two as well. Daniels hits a kind of Eye of the Hurricane for two before trying again with his feet on the ropes.

Styles is thrown to the floor as we’re getting close to a time limit here. Daniels knocks him into the barricade in an attempt at getting a countout but AJ comes back in with a sunset flip but he can’t roll through it into the Clash. Daniels tries a standing Koji Clutch and AJ is in trouble. It breaks down into a regular Clutch but Daniels lets it go for some reason. A suplex gets two and we have two minutes left. Daniels pounds away in the corner but AJ comes out with a running layout powerbomb.

Both guys are down but AJ gets up first, hitting the springboard forearm. A gutbuster and clothesline get two as we have less than thirty seconds. AJ neckbreakers him down but Daniels gets his foot on the rope. No mention has been made yet of the time limit as they slug it out. AJ is sent to the floor as we pass fifteen minutes. They trade places and AJ hits his flip dive over the top to the floor to take Daniels out. AJ gets back in as Kaz comes to ringside. They try the Ultimate Warrior at Mania 5 ending and it works, but the referee sees Kaz and waves it off. AJ Pele’s Daniels for the pin at 16:58.

Rating: B-. This was one of their better matches but the time limit thing bugs me. I know that it’s something petty and stupid, but if you say the match is going to last fifteen minutes, then have it last fifteen minutes. The ending was fine as the Pele is good for a secondary finisher for Styles. Good match here.

Hulk is on the phone and says he’ll be here next week because if we don’t fight, they die. They’re going old school next week.

Hardy confronts Storm about Aces and 8’s. Storm says he’ll be there to fight next week and he’ll be at ringside for the main event too.

Here’s Roode to discuss the main event from Sunday. He talks about how he underestimated Aries but there were some shenanigans that cost him the belt. Roode says he should be world champion but due to people like Aries, the referees, Sting and the fans here, he isn’t. Now he’s faced with the question of “what now”. Roode stutters a bit before dropping the mic and walking away.

Next week’s Gut Check guy talks about his brother getting him into wrestling and then getting shot and killed. His name is never given here so I have no idea what to call him.

Knockouts Title: Madison Rayne vs. Miss Tessmacher

The guest referee is Taryn Terrell, more famous as Tiffany in WWE. The best part: Brooke kneels down for no apparent reason as Tiffany is coming out and falls down. Madison chokes a lot so Tiffany yells at her. Tessmacher gets thrown around but grabs a rollup for two. She misses a charges in the corner and gets rolled up herself but Madison’s tights grabbing is caught. Tiffany and Madison argue a bit more until Tessmacher grabs Madison and hits her release mat slam from behind for the pin and the title at 3:55. What in the world was the point in changing the title in the first place?

Rating: D. The match was mainly Tiffany and Madison arguing so the match didn’t do anything. What in the world was the point of this? They mentioned Tiffany being in the new movie The Campaign but it was mentioned so quickly that a lot of people probably didn’t hear it. This was nothing at all and didn’t do anything for anyone.

Aces and 8’s say they’ll be here next week when the clock strikes 8. They have more business tonight though.

Bound For Glory Series: Jeff Hardy vs. Bully Ray

Before anything of note happens, here’s Storm. Ray goes to the floor and shoves him but Jeff hits a baseball slide to take ray out before anything can happen. We take a break and come back with Ray getting two off something we didn’t see. An elbow drop gets two for Ray and it’s off to a chinlock. An overhead suplex gets two for Ray but he misses a splash.

Hardy makes his comeback and hits the legdrop between the legs for two before walking into a side slam for two for Ray. Bully Bomb is broken up and Jeff hits the slingshot dropkick in the corner. The Swanton only gets two and Ray heads to the floor. Hardy dives over the top but hits Storm by mistake. Back in and Hardy hits the Whisper in the Wind to put both guys down. Aces and 8’s run in but Sting and Angle make the save before any contact is made. Twisting Stunner gets the pin for Hardy at 10:50.

Rating: C+. This is one of those pairings that is hard to screw up due to the familiarity these two have with each other. Hardy is near the top four now but I don’t think he’s quite in it. Ray looked ifne after the possible arm injury from Sunday which is a good thing. Aces and 8’s didn’t mean much here but I think that was the point.

Post match Ray hits Hardy and then yells at Storm, drawing the Cowboy in. Storm superkicks Hardy by mistake and here are Aces and 8’s again. They applaud Storm before taking his head off. Storm gets beaten down as we go off the air.

Overall Rating: C. This was really a placeholder until next week with the big showdown with Aces and 8’s. The more I think about it, the more it looks like Hogan is a candidate. We never saw him get beaten down, the group never attacked Brooke when they had the chance, he’s coming back right in time for the big fight, and he could be jealous of Sting for the attention he got at Slammiversary. There are a lot of candidates for who the boss could be and the more I hear of them, the more I don’t like. The show overall was decent tonight but it felt like it was a building show for next week, which is ok.

Results

Samoa Joe b. Magnus – La Majistral

AJ Styles b. Christopher Daniels – Pele

Miss Tessmacher b. Madison Rayne – Tess Shocker

Jeff Hardy b. Bully Ray – Twist of Fate

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




Smackdown – September 19, 2008: I Remember Why I Don’t Think About 2008 That Much

Smackdown
Date: September 19, 2008
Location: Bridgestone Arena, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Jim Ross, Tazz

We’re a little bit after Unforgiven 2008 here and I have no idea why we’re watching this show. This was requested a few months ago and now that I finally get around to it, I have no idea why it’s on my list. Anyway, HHH is world champion and is facing MVP in a match which may be for the title in the main event. Other than that nothing jumps off the page at me on the card. Let’s get to it.

Divas Title: Michelle McCool vs. Maryse

Michelle is defending here and is still just the perky blonde. The title is brand new here too. Michelle takes her down to the mat with a front facelock but Maryse takes over with a headlock. McCool speeds things up and frustrates Maryse who can’t keep up with the champ. Maryse heads to the floor but she trips Michelle up and takes over.

A slingshot dropkick puts Michelle down and Maryse pounds away, only to get rolled up for two. Maryse cranks on a chinlock but McCool uses her height to get back out. Things speed up and a running flipping neckbreaker gets two for the champ. Maryse misses a charge into the corner and McCool hits Christopher Daniels’ Angel’s Wings to retain.

Rating: C-. It’s absolutely amazing how much more interesting a match like this is than the Divas of today. The main difference is that the girls here are athletes who use their athletic abilities in a wrestling ring. Today, we have girls who are mostly models who get some bare bones wrestling training but they look good in shorts. McCool, a chick who had only been wrestling full time for a few years at this point, looked more comfortable than Kelly EVER looked in her entire career. That’s a big reason why the Divas just stopped being interesting at all.

Vickie and Big Show are in the back and Show says he’ll win the title. Eve comes in and says she wants to wrestle, so we look at Taker getting beaten up at Unforgiven. Ok then.

Some people are at a bar in Nashville which is across the street from the arena.

Ryan Braddock vs. Festus

Festus is more famous as Luke Gallows but he’s something close to a pretzel here. Braddock was there for about five minutes and means nothing at all. The idea of Festus is that he stays in a stupor until the bell rings when he’s unstoppable. He and his friend Jesse are part of a moving company who are moving things to another network. There’s the bell and down goes Braddock. Braddock avoids a charge and dropkicks Festus into the corner. Braddock hooks a chinlock but Festus wakes up and massacres Braddock until the movers tape Braddock up with duct tape and bubble wrap for the DQ.

Post break Braddock is carried away. Cute idea but it’s pretty stupid when it goes on this long.

Show and Vickie are in the back and Vickie is going to make Undertaker apologize tonight. Show says he’ll knock Taker out. We see Show’s heel turn from Unforgiven again.

Shelton Benjamin pops up and says he’s the gold standard. He makes fun of R-Truth for being an ex-con. This gold standard idea was death for Shelton.

Shelton Benjamin vs. R-Truth

Shelton is US Champion but this is non-title. Truth only debuted two weeks before this. Shelton takes him to the mat but Truth makes the rope. The spinning forearm puts Shelton down and Truth stomps away in the corner. Shelton gets in a single shot but Truth will have none of it, hitting a side kick for two. Shelton hits the T-Bone Exploder but doesn’t cover.

There’s a backbreaker and Shelton bends Truth over his knee to stay on it. He whips Truth into the corner before hooking a chinlock with a knee in the back. Truth comes back with some right hands and they botch a drop toehold. Back to the chinlock which is turned into a sleeper, but Truth comes back with a jawbreaker. Shelton tries a German but gets victory rolled into the pin.

Rating: C-. Nothing to see here again as Truth was too new to mean much other than his rapping stuff. Shelton was just worthless at this point with all of the Gold Standard nonsense as he looked stupid and slowed WAY down, taking away the majority of the appeal he had. The match was just ok.

Gregory Helms pops up during Truth’s exit, saying the price of gold just went down.

Here’s Jeff Hardy for a chat. He says that he’s been here on and off for ten years and he’s the charismatic enigma. Jeff says he’s confident and comfortable in his own skin and he hopes the fans respect that. HHH has motivated him and at No Mercy, Jeff isn’t going to grab the brass ring. He’s going to grab the WWE Championship. As for Vladimir Kozlov…I guess he’ll have to wait because here’s Brian Kendrick. He says Jeff is forgetting about him so Jeff makes fun of Kendrick for awhile. Kendrick makes fun of Hardy’s drug issues which is the height of irony. Jeff says let’s go.

The Brian Kendrick vs. Jeff Hardy

Jeff whacks Kendrick in the face to start and pounds away in the corner. Jeff loads up a powerbomb or something like it but he gets backdropped to the floor as we take a break. Back with Jeff in a half crab but Hardy makes the rope. Kendrick easily snapmares Jeff back down and we hit the same hold again. Jeff comes back with a mule kick and a sitout gordbuster for two. Kendrick gets in a boot to the face and tries Sliced Bread but gets countered into a backslide for the pin.

Rating: D-. What in the world was going on here? This was one of the least interesting matches I’ve seen in a long time and it had two pretty exciting guys in it. Kendrick went south fast after Unforgiven so this was just another part in that process. Hardy would move on to much bigger and better things of course. Horribly uninteresting match though.

Kozlov pops up on stage and kicks Jeff’s head off.

Vickie is having a new TV installed when Show comes in to say Undertaker is here. Vickie makes the cameraman imitate Undertaker and say that he’s sorry. And never mind as it’s Chavo in a costume. This was so stupid.

We see the Undertaker attack video again.

Time for Carlito’s Cabana with Primo in there along with the host. We have some mic issues as we can hear what’s being said but apparently the live audience can’t. It’s quickly fixed and the guest is Primo. Ok then. Primo says his first win last week was easy and the two of them will win the tag titles soon. After a brief argument over who the host of the show is, here are Hawkins and Ryder, the tag champions. Helms pops up again and makes fun of their names.

The champs say Primo is a joke so Primo asks who these guys are. Ryder: “Bro are you serious? You know it!” Carlito finds it funny that Hawkins and Ryder are champions and wants a title match right now. The champs say no because they used to be part of La Familia. Primo: “YOU GUYS SPEAK SPANISH TOO!” Primo talks in Spanish and apparently he swears a lot as Carlito freaks out.

Ryder says the title match is next week and steals Carlito’s line. Carlito asks for someone to pack up the set so here come Jesse and Festus. The champs jump Carlito and Primo, but Primo sneaks out and rings the bell. Festus snaps and cleans house, chasing away the champs with a palm tree.

Maria is drawing something in the back when Brie Bella pops up. She compliments Maria’s art and says she’s heard Maria designs outfits in her spare time. Brie asks for a second when Victoria and Natalya come in to make fun of the other chicks. Natalya and Victoria accuse Brie of having a crush on Horny before saying there’s a handicap match next week and ripping up Eve’s drawings. I have no idea what I just saw.

Scotty Goldman (Colt Cabana) makes fun of Khali and Singh, including with a Singh puppet.

Scotty Goldman vs. Great Khali

Total massacre, Punjabi Plunge, about 90 seconds.

Khali vs. Kozlov next week.

Raw ReBound is Jericho retaining the world title in a cage match over Punk. Jericho later said that it should be JBL vs. Batista with the winner facing Jericho later. Instead Jericho will defend against Shawn at the PPV in a ladder match.

Chavo throws out Hawkins/Bam Neely/Ryder so he (and we) can watch Taker getting beaten down for the 6th time tonight. Taker pops up on screen and Chavo gets grabbed by the arm of an otherwise unseen Undertaker.

HHH vs. MVP

Non-title here. Feeling out process to start and MVP grabs a headlock to get things going. A hiptoss puts HHH down and MVP poses a lot. HHH finally takes MVP down and crotch chops him to tick him off as we take a break. Back as HHH hooks a headlock on the mat but MVP grabs the arm to take over again. Apparently MVP worked over the arm during the break. Works for me. The armbar stays on for a LONG time as MVP keeps control. I mean it’s on for a good three minutes or so.

MVP finally mixes things up with a DDT on the arm for two. He loads up the big boot in the corner but HHH comes out of the corner with a jumping knee to the face. A neckbreaker puts MVP down but HHH charges into a boot in the corner. That means nothing though as HHH spinebusts him down and out to the floor. HHH follows him out and sends MVP into the table but MVP gets in a shot to the arm. They head back in and MVP comes off the top, but he dives into the Pedigree to give HHH the win.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t awful but DANG that middle part was weak. It just kept going and then it meant nothing a few moments later. MVP never quite got over that hump into the main event but he was pretty solid at this point. This match though was basically just something for HHH to do for a few minutes before he got to Hardy at the PPV. Weak main event to a bad show.

Post match here’s Kozlov to stare down HHH. MVP gets in a shot to the Game and Kozlov takes over. HHH comes back with a facebuster but walks into the headbutt to the chest to drop him. Kozlov stands tall to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. What in the world was going on here? This was one of the least interesting shows I’ve seen in a very long time. I don’t want to see the PPV and it feels like it should be Kozlov vs. HHH instead of Hardy getting the shot. Other than the main event which was ok at best, everyone was sluggish and nothing was interesting at all. Terrible show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




Impact Wrestling – May 24, 2012: Sting Returns. Again.

Impact Wrestling
Date: May 24, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

It’s Open Fight Night II and the world title is going to be on the line tonight. There are four candidates and presumably we’ll have a fourway match to determine Roode’s opponent. Other than that, we have (I think) another Gut Check Challenge deal, which hopefully has a better outcome than last time. Let’s get to it.

We open with Hogan in his office with the four possible opponents for Roode. He shows them a copy of the script for tonight and says that according to what it says, he’s supposed to explain the concept of Open Fight Night. This devolves into a debate about what would happen if Roode becomes the longest reigning world champion. Hogan talks about the evolution of the company and how they need to change the way things are done.

They need to explain why they should get the title shot tonight. You know, instead of competing for it in the ring. Ray talks about how he’s the most legit because people fear him because of a possible shoot. Hulk asks Angle if that’s true and Angle says Ray doesn’t intimidate him. AJ says that he’s been around longer than anyone else including Roode.

Angle says that he beat AJ in their last match so he should get the shot (that makes sense). Kurt asks Jeff why he should get the shot. Is it because everyone loves him? Jeff: “Your son does.” Hogan says that Roode has to be stopped because he’s taking over the company. He thinks that AJ, Jeff and Angle can beat him but he knows Ray can beat him, so Ray is out of the running. Ray says Eric was right about Hogan and leaves, taking us to the opening sequence.

Here are Gail and Madison to open the show. Gail talks about how great she is. We look in the back to see mostly men and Angelina watching. ODB is there too but I wasn’t sure what category to put her in. Madison is checking her hair in this. Gail says she’s the most important woman in the company but there’s a blemish on her resume. She doesn’t like the Knockout Tag Titles being on a man and a thing though. So tonight, she and Madison are calling out ODB and Eric for the titles.

Eric Young/ODB vs. Gail Kim/Madison Rayne

This is non-title. Gail and Eric start and trade wristlocks. Eric picks her up and literally drops her before tagging in ODB who chest bumps Gail down. She knocks Madison to the floor and we take a break. Back with Gail working on ODB as Madison looks bored. Madison comes in for some covers and a lot of screaming. ODB spears her down and makes the tag. Time to strip and Eric slams both girls. ODB tells him to put his pants on and it’s back to her. Running powerslam gets two on Gail but the Bam is escaped. ODB loads up a fallaway slam but Madison trips her up and holds her feet for the pin at 9:46.

Rating: D+. You know, it’s AMAZING how much more bearable Young is when he’s not being all zany. Then he took his pants off and it was the same stuff we’ve seen a million times from him. The match wasn’t bad, but is there a reason it wasn’t for the titles? If you’re going to challenge a champion, challenge them for their belts.

Hogan is on the phone and someone says they’re coming.

Here’s RVD who has a small cut under his right eye. He has unfinished business so Gunner, get out here.

Gunner vs. Rob Van Dam

We get an explanation of why this match is happening: Gunner hurt Van Dam in JANUARY. On one hand, points for giving it some closure. On the other hand, did anyone really remember that? Gunner throws in a chair to start things but the referee kicks it into the corner. He takes Van Dam down but when he whips him into the corner, van Dam comes back with a spin kick. Van Dam hits one of the longest Five Stars I’ve EVER seen for the pin at 2:50. This was a step above a squash.

Here’s D-Von who says he’s a fighting champion. Joseph Park is watching in the crowd. D-Von credits Garrett Bischoff for eliminating him last week and offers him a TV Title match tonight.

TV Title: Garrett Bischoff vs. D-Von

D-Von takes him down with a headlock but misses a headbutt to give us a stalemate. And here are the Robs for the DQ at 1:50.

Garrett and D-Von clear the ring. Seriously, with the roster they have is there NO ONE but E and T that can fight D-Von?

Time for another elimination. Hulk talks about Angle having a game face and being Olympic crazy. Jeff has a lot of fans that love him. Angle says that if you want the athlete, pick AJ. If you want the popular one pick Hardy. If you want the best, pick him. That’s a good line. Somehow this results in Jeff’s elimination because his victories have been too close.

We get the same video from Sacrifice which is the news reel kind of deal about Abyss and Joseph Park.

Here’s Ray, who apparently sent a text to Tazz saying that he was livid. He’s tired of hearing about Joseph Park but he hears he’s here tonight. Park is in the crowd eating a box of popcorn. Ray calls him in for a fight but Joseph says that he’s not a fighter. Park says he’s never been in a fight and that he’s intimidated. The fans chant YES. Park talks about how he’s defended people that are guilty and not-guilty. The fans chant guilty and Chris talks about how in Article X of the US Constitution (which doesn’t exist) Ray is entitled to a trial by a jury of his peers. The fans can be the jury and they decide guilty, so Ray takes him out.

Joey Ryan, the Gut Check contestant tonight, talks about growing up a wrestling fan.

Austin Aries vs. Joey Ryan

Ryan looks like Ben Stiller trying to look like a 70s action star. His tights say Hollywood and he slaps Aries before heading to the floor. Aries dives on him and they head back in. I think Ryan is supposed to be a 70s actor or something. Aries takes him down with a spinning forearm but Ryan comes back with a pumphandle suplex for two. Aries hits the running dropkick in the corner followed by the brainbuster for the pin at 4:06.

Rating: C. Not bad but WAY better than Silva. Ryan has charisma but his ring work is only ok. Since apparently wrestling doesn’t matter as much as talking to Hogan anymore though he should be fine. Apparently he’s a bigger deal on the indy circuit so that’s probably why I’ve only heard his name in passing. Not bad but I’d like to see these Gut Check guys WIN. It might actually make me believe they belong.

Moment #6 is Sting beating Hogan at BFG and Hogan Hulking Up to save it.

It’s 10:20 and Roode is coming out for the main event. AJ and Angle come out first to determine who the #1 contender is. Hogan comes out and says it doesn’t matter who he picks because either is a great choice. Hogan picks AJ because he knows Roode better.

TNA World Title: AJ Styles vs. Bobby Roode

It’s 10:25 so this has the potential to be the longest Impact match in…..dang years probably. AJ sets for his drop down/dropkick spot but Roode avoids the kick. AJ sends him in again and this time it knocks Roode to the floor as we take a break. Back with AJ getting knocked to the floor and sent shoulder first into the post. Roode has apparently demanded a celebration if he wins tonight, because he’ll secure the longest reign in title history. I knew they weren’t giving this 35 minutes.

Roode works on the arm for a good while until AJ breaks the hold and sends him to the floor. There’s a HUGE chest extending dive to the floor as AJ is looking at……someone the camera doesn’t bother to show us. Roode uses the distraction to hiptoss Styles onto the steps which gets two in the ring. Hogan is watching in the back and we take another break. Back with Roode hitting a suplex and knee drop for two. Roode stays on the shoulders but AJ fights out of the hold with a right hand.

Styles tries a springboard move but Roode drops him onto the top rope throat first. Roode walks into a shoulder block and the springboard forearm gets two. Missile dropkick gets the same. The Clash is countered but AJ counters the catapult into a moonsault, but gets speared down for two. Crossface goes on but AJ rolls through for two. Bridging Indian Deathlock has Roode in trouble but he makes the rope. AJ tries to speed things up but gets caught in a spinebuster and fisherman’s suplex for two. Pele puts Roode down but AJ looks to the entrance again, making the 450 hit knees. Fisherman’s suplex pins Styles at 21:30.

Rating: B. Good stuff here and for awhile I was thinking there was a chance AJ could win. On a side note, it says a lot that I didn’t remember what Roode’s finisher was until about halfway through the match. I really would have liked to see a match determine who fought Roode but this is a talking company so it doesn’t really matter. This was very good though.

Daniels and Kaz were on the stage, but we didn’t see them until after the match.

Roode says it’s time to celebrate and wants his champagne. He wants another glass though and calls out Hogan. After a break we get confetti and Roode rolls around in it. Hogan comes out and drinks some champagne. He says he was proven wrong and Roode has done some impressive things. Hogan’s surprise guest is Sting, who is back after being gone again. Sting pops up behind Roode and beats him up. Starting next week the show is live and at 8pm. Next week, Roode can’t run away because at 8pm at the start of the show, it’s a lumberjack match with Roode vs. Sting.

Overall Rating: B-. It was certainly better than last month’s Open Fight Night, but the problem again here is nothing has actually happened in the first two shows. Yeah Sting is back, but that could have happened on any episode. Also is that where we’re going again? Sting vs. Roode? The main event was good and the Gut Check guy was ok, but they need to either have the Gut Check guy win once or have someone win a title on these specials, because otherwise they’re going to lose their appeal fast. Good show overall though.

Results
Gail Kim/Madison Rayne b. ODB/Eric Young – Kim pinned ODB while Rayne held her feet
Rob Van Dam b. Gunner – Five Star Frog Splash
D-Von vs. Garrett Bischoff went to a no contest when Robbie E and Robbie T interfered
Austin Aries b. Joey Ryan – Brainbuster
Bobby Roode b. AJ Styles – Fisherman’s Suplex

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Sacrifice 2012 Preview

The show is officially later tonight and as usual I can barely remember most of the card.I’ll go with Roode to retain.  It’s a filler main event, but I don’t see any reason for him to lose the title.

Anderson over Hardy.  I flipped a coin.
AJ to lose to Angle due to being all messed up.

Now I have to look at the list of matches because that’s all I can remember.

The Robs take the title somehow because this feud hasn’t gone on long enough.

I’ll take the tag champs to retain.  They’re facing Daniels/Kaz.  I don’t remember hearing about it either.

Tessmacher to take the title.

Finally I’ll go with Aries over Ray because of Abyss.

 

Overall the show is 100% filler, although it looks better than Victory Road, but that isn’t saying much.

 

Thoughts/Predictions?