Final Resolution 2011
Date: December 11, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

It’s the final PPV of the year for TNA and the card has been built up pretty well on TV. In essence there’s a double main event with the Battle of the Jeffs and the Iron Man match for the title. There are a few matches that haven’t been built up at all but that’s bound to happen to a degree. The card looks pretty good though so let’s get to it.

The opening video is just what you would expect: a highlight package of the two main event feuds.

Rob Van Dam vs. Christopher Daniels

This is supposed to be “just a wrestling match” according to Daniels. They take turns with a headlock for awhile to fulfill the idea that it’s going to be all clean and nice. Rob kicks away and does his rolling leg cradle for two. They fight to the apron and Van Dam is sent intot he post chest first. This is one of those matches where time is passing but there isn’t much to talk about.

Since Van Dam’s ribs hit the post first, Daniels puts on a reverse waistlock. Van Dam makes his comeback and hits the standing moonsault for two. This is a really uninteresting match. Rolling Thunder gets two. He goes up but Daniels rolls out of the way and spears him down for two. Great, ANOTHER person using that move. A palm thrust gets two for Daniels. They go up top and Van Dam casually knocks him off and hits the Five Star for the pin at 11:40 (my stream is jumpy so the times are about as accurate as I can guess.)

Rating: C. This was really boring for the most part. There was no real heat to the match and they didn’t do anything significantly interesting. I’ve never been a fan of Daniels at all because he doesn’t get anything going for me at all with this being a great example. Still though, it’s him against someone not named AJ Styles so I can’t complain much.

The announcers run down the card.

Mickie says tonight it’s about wrestling, not politics in her match with Gail Kim. They’ll take it to the wall tonight.

TV Title: Robbie E vs. Eric Young

Eric disrobes because it’s funny I guess. A Thesz Press puts Robbie down and we go to the floor. Young hits a nice dive but has to avoid a Big Rob shot, allowing the champ to take him down with a clothesline. Robbie takes over with his pretty dull stuff and hits a middle rope elbow after some fist pumping for two.

He hooks a chinlock to waste some time. Young makes his comeback but misses coming off the top. Eric puts him down again but Big Rob chokes him out for a few seconds. Robbie is sent into Big Rob’s crotch and Young tries a DVD on both of them. And never mind as a Codebreaker keeps the title on Robbie at 7:30.

Rating: D. Ho-freaking-hum. Horribly uninteresting match again here with nothing going on at all in it. To be fair though, this is one of those matches that suffered from the automatic rematch issue: since we’ve already seen a winner and a loser here, there’s no real interest in seeing them fight again. That being said, we’ll probably get this again because of Big Rob getting involved again. Nothing to see here and the first half hour of this show has been pretty awful.

Pope and D-Von say they’ll win. There’s no trouble at home says D-Von. Pope says it’s not his fault D-Von is a bad father and tonight it’s about the gold.

Tag Titles: Crimson/Matt Morgan vs. D-Von/D’Angelo Dinero

Crimson vs. Pope gets us going here with Crimson using his cravate with the knees to take over. Morgan comes in and he wants D-Von. That isn’t the best idea in the world as D-Von takes over with his usual stuff. Back to Red Man vs. Pope with the street preacher who never preaches taking over. STO gets two but he gets speared down quickly. An exploder suplex gets the same.

Morgan hits the fallaway slam for two as well as a side slam. Pope finally gets in a DDT to put both guys down and brings in D-Von off the not-hot tag. A neckbreaker and headbutt off the top get two on Crimson. Everything breaks down and there’s a spinebuster to Crimson. Top rope elbow from Pope gets two. A double chokeslam from the champions keep the titles on them at 9:33.

Rating: D. Again, this was BORING. There’s no heat on any of these matches because their build has been horrible or non-existent. This D-Von vs. Pope stuff has been going on since June and it’s still not getting anywhere. That’s one of TNA’s problems: they take forever to get anywhere which is what’s going on with this. That and no one cares about D-Von in 2011 but that goes without saying.

AJ says his knee is fine and he’s ready to go tonight.

X-Division Title: Austin Aries vs. Kid Kash

If Kash wins….I’ll probably just complain more than usual. Feeling out process so far with Aries showing off as only he can. Kash takes over and things get a little sloppy. He slaps Aries around a bit because he’s just not a nice person. Is Aries a face now? I don’t think he is but I’m not really sure. Is Kash one? I’m so confused by this company. Kash rolls Aries up and it looks awful. Back to the champ’s control but a jumping fist drop misses.

Out to the floor and Aries rolls him up, this time using two feet on the top rope to out do the one foot that Kash used earlier. Ok that was cute. Back to the floor again and Kash puts Aries down to take over again. Aries takes over right back and hits the best suicide dive in wrestling. Most people just slap the other guy’s chest anymore which isn’t that impressive. A gutbuster gets two for the champion.

There’s the Pendulum Elbow for two. Kash counters the brainbuster and knocks Aries down, then hits him again as he’s falling. Kash sets for what looks like a belly to back but slams him forward instead. The replay makes it look a lot more vicious. Moneymaker is broken up and Aries goes up, only to get crotched. Kash goes up for the same result but he manages to try a top rope powerbomb. Aries counters into Splash Mountain (not exactly Mysterio level but not bad).

They chop it out and Kash sets for the Moneymaker again. Aries counters with a basic stomp on the foot and then a backdrop. This has been better than I was expecting. Into the corner and Austin runs into a boot but the Moneymaker is countered again. Aries pulls out a foreign object which is taken away quickly. Now Kash has one too but it gets stolen. Aries hands him the title which gets taken away, allowing the brainbuster to keep the belt on the champ at 12:45.

Rating: C+. They started off badly but once they got down to doing basic stuff it got a lot better. Splash Mountain is one of those very cool moves and it worked very well here as it hasn’t been done in forever. The ending was creative too and it worked all around. Good match and definitely the best of the night so far.

They try to go to a video recap but it’s not there so let’s try that again. Ah ther eit is. Mickie is great, Gail is great, so let’s have a match about it. Karen keeps trying to hold Mickie back but it doesn’t really work.

The production mistakes continue as the video package plays again.

Knockout Title: Gail Kim vs. Mickie James

Why does no one ever wear the Knockouts Title? I mean you NEVER see it around someone’s waist. They fight over a wristlock to start and then Mickie wins a brief slugout. Gail avoids a charge in the corner but can’t get a rollup out of said corner. Mickie’s victory roll is countered by having her face slammed into the mat. That looked great. Gail takes over and works on the back but her second backbreaker is countered into a nice headscissors by James.

Gail works her over some more but Mickie sends her to the floor where Gail’s leg hits the steps. That can’t feel good. Thesz Press off the top gets two but Mickie couldn’t cover properly because Mickie was still in a split. Jumping DDT is countered so Mickie settles for a dragon screw instead. Gail goes to the floor and tries to walk but she gets sent “into the post” instead. Her head pretty clearly didn’t hit but nice effort anyway. And then Madison comes out to hook Mickie’s foot so Eat Defeat can end this at 7:48.

Rating: C+. REALLY don’t like that ending as it just comes flying out of nowhere and it really didn’t work given how much they had been having the competitive match before that. Good girls match though which was a lot better than most of them have been lately. My goodness the Knockouts blow the Divas so far out of the water it’s not even funny anymore.

Storm says there’s always someone bigger and tougher than you are to knock you down. That’s his message to Angle, because tonight he’s getting his second win in a row over Kurt.

We recap Storm vs. Angle, which is about Angle jumping Storm in the back and injuring him. It’s so nice to see a feud that makes sense and follows the story.

James Storm vs. Kurt Angle

The fans are all behind Storm. He’s gotten the push of a lifetime out of this. Storm tries to take it to the mat and that goes about as well as you could expect it to. They exchange some quick arm work and Storm grabs a headlock to take over. For someone that said he wasn’t coming here to wrestle Angle, he certainly looks like he’s wrestling Angle. Kurt hammers away in the corner to take over, which plays into the whole concussion story/real injury.

Out to the floor and Storm gets rammed into the barricade which might have hit his head again. Off to a chinlock but then Kurt just pounds away at the head. That always makes me a bit shaky, especially when Storm had a legit head injury recently. A suplex puts Storm down again and Storm looks out of it. Back to the chinlock and Storm’s head injury is being played up here.

He finally suplexes out of the hold though and both guys are down. Storm wins a slugout and hits the Codebreaker/Backstabber combo for two. Angle snaps off an overhead belly to belly for two. Storm avoids the rolling Germans and it’s ankle lock time. I really can’t stand that as it comes out of nowhere and goes completely against the whole psychology of almost all of Kurt’s matches.

It doesn’t last long but James gets caught in the Rolling Germans this time. They’re slower than usual though. Just three in this set for a count of two. Angle Slam is countered into the Eye of the Storm for two. Storm goes up but gets caught in the (second attempt of) running belly to belly for two. The crowd isn’t as into this as they should be since it’s been pretty good.

Angle Slam is countered as is the Last Call, the latter into the ankle lock. Storm kicks out of that and Kurt’s shoulder goes into the post. Instead of pulling Kurt out, Storm channels his inner Apex Legend Killing Viper with an elevated DDT onto the apron. Somehow that only gets two back in the ring but Kurt snaps off an Angle Slam for two. Moonsault misses and the Last Call ends this clean at 17:54. Can’t say they didn’t put him over.

Rating: B. Solid match but for some reason the crowd wasn’t all that into it. The ending being clean is a very nice change of pace and it worked pretty well indeed. Now, if Storm wins the feud in the end, everything is right in Orlando. That’s kind of the key: Angle needs to put Storm over clean at the end of the day, and I’m not 100% certain that’s going to happen. Very good match though.

The Jarretts are nervous. Jeff is ticked because he’s been on the cruise for three days and now he hears about the stipulation Sting added despite being a company man. Sting pops up with the handcuffs.

We recap the battle of the Jeffs. Hardy came back and Jarrett complained because Hardy wasn’t a company man and dropped the ball and all that jazz. Jarrett lost to Hardy three times at Turning Point to set this up.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Jeff Hardy

This is in a cage. Sting will be handcuffed to Karen on the floor. If Hardy wins, he gets the title match at Genesis and a Jarrett is fired. If Jarrett wins, Hardy is gone from TNA. I didn’t hear the opening bell so the time is going to be a little off. You can win by any means. Hardy takes over early and hits the basement dropkick for two. They keep stopping for some reason. Hardy goes for the escape but that gets him nowhere.

Jarrett goes into the cage a few times as Hardy is definitely in slow gear here. Twist of Fate is countered into the Figure Four just a few minutes into the match. It’s very frustrating to not be able to say Jeff in this. Hardy gets rammed hard into the cage and Jarrett goes for the climb but Hardy makes the save. Jarrett goes into the cage and Hardy hits something like a Lionsault for two. There wasn’t a running start but the camera angle wasn’t clear as to what he did.

They slug it out, won by Hardy. Twist of Fate hits but Jarrett is too far away for the Swanton. A second Twist sets up the top of the cage Swanton….which completely misses as Hardy crashes and burns. And people wonder why he’s addicted to drugs. There’s the Stroke and Jarrett calls for the door to be opened. Hardy makes a diving save and we keep going. How has this only been going eight minutes so far?

The referee goes down from something and Hardy is rammed into the cage which is rammed into Sting. Karen gets uncuffed and the door is rammed into Hardy’s head. That gets a VERY close two. Karen tries to send in a guitar but Sting makes the save. We also get the ultra rare barefaced Sting shot. The Twist of Fate ends this at 10:03. That seems really short.

Rating: C+. Pretty solid cage match but again, the length really hurt it. There wasn’t much of a beginning and the violence was pretty limited. Jarrett being the designated loser from the beginning of this match didn’t help anything either. Not a classic by any means but the Hardy Swanton spot was pretty cool looking, although not really needed.

Sting says someone is fired on Thursday.

Roode says the same stuff he’s been saying for weeks now.

We recap the title match which is just Roode turning heel and AJ being his first challenger. This is their rematch.

TNA World Title: AJ Styles vs. Bobby Roode

This is a 30 minute Iron Man match and AJ has a bad knee coming in. Feeling out process to start as AJ is tentative because of the knee. They trade headlocks as we’re three minutes in. They’re pacing themselves though and that’s just fine. Thank goodness this is thirty minutes and not an hour because those matches are just dreadful to sit through. They go back and forth with headlocks and headscissors and AJ is currently in control.

They run the ropes and AJ’s limpp is getting more pronounced. Roode hits the floor for a break and we’re five minutes in. Back in and he hits some shoulders and chops in the corner. AJ gets sent to the floor and it turns into more of a brawl. Roode takes over back in the ring but AJ tries to speed things up and gets some rollups for two each. While he’s laying on his back, AJ nips up into a rana. That was cool.

Clothesline gets two for the challenger and we hit the chinlock. Roode fights up and hits a knee crusher…which doesn’t seem to slow AJ down that much. A second crusher sends AJ to the corner where Roode gets in a shot to the knee and a rollup with feet on the ropes for the first fall at 10:00 with 20:00 to go. Roode works over the leg for the next few minutes, which is perfectly smart strategy.

AJ tries that nip-up into the rana again but gets caught in a half crab. He finally makes the rope and the knee is in trouble. There’s a Figure Four which is still on at the 15:00 mark. AJ taps with 14:38 left and Taz says he should have done that earlier. A chop block puts AJ down again and Roode tries a Figure Four again, but AJ kicks him off, sending the champ’s shoulder into the buckle. He may have injured the shoulder on that.

AJ hits a flying armbar and then a Crossface makes Roode tap with 12:23 to go. Twelve minutes left. He hooks the arm but Roode countered into kind of a half crab but with Roode laying on the mat. AJ escapes and strikes away but Roode knocks him down again. He walks over and gets caught in a small package with 9:51 to go, tying it up. They slug it out and Roode kicks him in the knee to regain momentum.

Spinebuster gets two for Bobby. Roode goes for the knee and AJ kicks him in the shoulder, but the champion gets a DDT onto the leg to put AJ back down. Roode tries a slingshot but AJ lands on the rope (on one foot so the quick recovery isn’t ridiculous) and tries the springboard moonsault into the DDT which mostly doesn’t work. The springboard 450 however does get him a pin and a 3-2 lead with 7:00 to go.

A Fujiwara Armbar is countered as is a half crab attempt. AJ drapes the arm over the rope but when he slides back in, Roode drops onto him and grabs the rope for the pin at 5:00 to go. They go up to the corner where AJ runs the corner and arm drags Roode down onto the shoulder. Three minutes left and AJ drops him onto the arm with a belly to back suplex. Fisherman’s suplex is countered into a small package for two.

There’s the Pele but AJ can’t follow up. Two minutes left. He loads up the Clash but falls backwards with his knee getting all twisted up in the process. Roode goes to the floor instead of covering or following up for some reason. AJ’s leg is fine apparently as he hits a flip dive over the top to the floor with 1:00 left. Back in and Roode rolls to the floor again and keeps running until the clock runs out for a 3-3 tie at 30:00.

Rating: B-. Pretty good match but I’m not a fan of Iron Man matches at all. The problem with them is that there’s almost no point to watching them for the first 25 minutes or so since they’re almost always decided at the very end. Not a bad match at all, but I think everyone knew the tie was coming or that AJ would lose somehow, which hurts things a lot.

Overall Rating: C+. I was disappointed by this show but it’s certainly not bad. The first hour or so is really bad but after that things pick up a lot and it gets a lot better. That being said, the big matches were pretty lackluster overall, with the Battle of the Jeffs being too short and both main events being too predictable. Coming in though we all knew this was a B-Level show which makes things a little better, but at the same time it wasn’t a great show at all. Not bad, but nothing that’ll mean anything in two months.

Results
Rob Van Dam b. Christopher Daniels – Five Star Frog Splash
Robbie E b. Eric Young – Codebreaker
Matt Morgan/Crimson b. D-Von/D’Angelo Dinero – Double Chokeslam to D-Von
Austin Aries b. Kid Kash – Brainbuster
Gail Kim b. Mickie James – Eat Defeat
James Storm b. Kurt Angle – Last Call
Jeff Hardy b. Jeff Jarrett – Twist of Fate
AJ Styles vs. Bobby Roode went to a 3-3 tie

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I forgot to put this up earlier but it’s still Saturday so it counts I guess.

Tomorrow is the final PPV of the year for TNA and it’s pretty much a B-List show.  Here are my thoughts.

The show has been built up pretty well on Impact, but it still feels pretty basic on paper.  The main event should be fine as the guys have enough history together to make a solid and fairly emotional match.  Now with that being said, I’ll leave it up to you if I mean Jeff vs. Jeff or AJ vs. Roode, because if you watch the shows, either of them could be built up as the show’s main event.  My bet is on the cage match but it’s not a strong feeling.

One thing you may not know, and since I doubt anyone follows Dixie on Twitter which is where this came from, is that if Hardy wins then he gets to pick whether Jeff or Karen is fired.  Think that should have been mentioned on Impact?  Yeah I thought so too, but I’m no professional.  On to the picks.

I’ll take:

Roode vs. Styles to a tie

Hardy wins, duh

The tag champs and X Champ keep their titles (PLEASE let this be the case for Aries.  Not that I love Aries but the less Kid Kash I have to see the better)

Daniels to cheat to win over RVD

Assuming it happens, Storm over Angle

Did you know there’s a TV TItle match?  I certainly didn’t, because the TV Title is the most worthless belt that doesn’t have a twin and is red in wrestling.  Eric gets another shot so I’ll go with Robbie to retain.

The other matches…..eh who cares.

Your picks/thoughts?

Impact Wrestling
Date: December 8, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

This is the go home show for Final Resolution and I think most of the card is set. The show has been built up pretty well, but it still feels like a B-show to me. AJ vs. Roode should be good and they’ve kept the older guys out of the spotlight lately, but I still feel like this isn’t the most exciting show in the world. I think it’s due to Roode not really feeling like a top level guy to me yet. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is a recap of last week with Roode being in the three way match and stealing the win via Jarrett. Also Storm confronts Angle tonight.

Here’s Sting to open things up. Tonight it’s AJ/Hardy vs. Roode/Jarrett. He calls Roode to the ring and says there are some things we need to deal with, so could Dixie please come out here as well. Sting says if you put your hands on Dixie, you might as well put your hands on him. A few weeks ago Roode used Dixie as a human shield and now, he needs to make things right.

Roode asks for some space to do this right so Sting steps back a bit. Roode apologizes for not being completely honest with her. However he doesn’t have to be because he’s the champ. That means Dixie needs her because business is better with him as champion. Everyone wants to jump on board the Roode show but he wouldn’t even sell Dixie a ticket. Dixie is a fake because she’s daddy’s little rich girl. He walks away, turns around and spits at Dixie, then runs. Sting chases him and then stops for some reason. Roode poses as we go to a break.

In the back, AJ shoves Roode against a fence and says Roode has no idea what he’s doing. Tonight, he’s going to take out Roode for everyone to see. Sting comes up freaking out and AJ says someone has to be levelheaded.

Samoa Joe vs. Abyss

Joe hammers him down into the corner but Abyss pounds him down as well. After that brilliant display, we take another break. Back with Joe taking over, hitting a backsplash for two. He goes up and jumps into a chokeslam attempt which doesn’t work. Some clotheslines set up attempt number two but Joe counters again. An enziguri puts Abyss in the corner and he calls for the MuscleBuster. Here’s Scott Steiner for a distraction and Ray hits Joe with a chain. Chokeslam ends Joe at 7:29.

Rating: D. The match was awful, which I think is due to Abyss more than anything else. Joe is a full fledged jobber to the stars at this point and I don’t see that changing anytime soon. The Immortal stuff was pretty obvious and I guess we’re back where we used to be in this story, which is, in two words, the beginning.

Abyss poses with Immortal but hits Steiner with the Black Hole Slam. Ray runs from a showdown.

Karen gives Madison marching orders of take care of Mickie. Gail has to fight Traci too which ticks her off. The door is shut while Karen explains her plan.

Gunner wants a match with Garrett, swearing no Flair and no Bischoff, which is good enough for Sting.

Here are D-Von and Pope for a little chat with the champs. D-Von does the talking, saying how he’s a legendary tag wrestler and that the Dudleys beat a bunch of great champions. Crimson and Morgan are great, but remember that after the match there will be new champions. This is the whole “I respect you” promo that happens WAY too much in TNA. And that’s it. Oh wait Pope wants to talk.

Pope calls them honkies and says that this is all about the money. He doesn’t care how low he has to go and he’ll steal, take and/or garnish the titles. The champs never talked so Morgan drills Morgan and a brawl breaks out. Pope hits Morgan low as the other two have fought up the ramp. He waves D-Von’s kids in to help with the beatdown. Morgan gets up and all three of them run.

Storm is here.

Madison Rayne vs. Mickie James

Madison breaks up the intro of Mickie. She throws on a chinlock for a few minutes until Mickie fights back but misses something off the top. Something like a bulldog doesn’t really work for Madison so she poses instead before getting two. Madison beats on her some more until Mickie hits the jumping DDT for the pin at 4:05. It was as weak as it sounds.

Rating: D. It wasn’t that it was bad, it was just kind of there. Madison looked like she was just wasting Mickie’s time until the DDT ended it. To be fair though it was light years ahead of anything the Divas have done lately, but that’s because I hate the Divas very, very much. This was pretty bad though.

Ray and Steiner say they need a new plan for Abyss. Steiner says he’ll go talk to Bischoff about it.

Recap of Gunner vs. Bischoff. It’s about respect don’t you know.

Gunner vs. Garrett Bischoff

Eric and Flair come out with Gunner and we’re waiting on Sting to send them away. Instead Gunner sends them to the back, saying he’s got this. Gunner takes over early but Bischoff hits a bulldog. A clothesline is no sold and Gunner beats him down again. Garrett goes shoulder first into the post a few times and Gunner takes over. This is total domination with Gunner yelling a lot. And then Garrett grabs a single leg takedown and cradles him for the pin at 3:19. Yeah who didn’t see that coming? Honestly.

Rating: F. It’s still a referee getting beaten up and scoring a quick win because of the person whose genitals he came out of. Nothing to see here at all.

Gunner freaks post match and beats him down again, trying a piledriver on the floor. Eric makes the stop, wanting the mats pulled back first. Now the piledriver hits. Please let him be out for months. It would make my Christmas all the more magical.

Garrett is taken out on a stretcher while Eric applauds. Flair says send the nurse back to the hotel.

Here’s Storm for his standoff with Angle. He says he never backs down from a challenge so Angle needs to get down here. Here’s the bald man who says Storm is either an idiot or the toughest man he’s ever seen. The concussion should have put him out for six months but it was only three weeks. Angle says he thinks about Storm every night before he goes to sleep. Storm: “That kind of creeps me out a little bit.” Funny line. Storm gets in his face and talks about all the hardships he’s gone through and how that means Angle isn’t going to scare him.

Storm says the last time he hit the Last Call, it won him the world title. Next time, it’s going to crush Angle’s head like a beer can. Do you really want to get into an alcohol contest with Angle? Storm turns his back on Angle, saying if he feels like it, jump him. Angle does nothing and Storm says he’ll see him on Sunday. No word on if he’s legit cleared or not for Sunday.

Karen tells Traci she’s going to lay down for Gail.

D-Von goes off on his kids in the back when Pope comes in. D-Von LAUNCHES him against a wall but one of the boys stops him before he punches Pope. Paternal violence is implied. Pope comes back in to check on them. After six months of this, we FINALLY get a line about what’s going on here: Pope is willing to help train them and has promised to get them to the main event if they stick with him. WHY HAVE WE NOT HEARD THIS SINCE JUNE???

AJ and Hardy say they’re going to figure out a way to work together.

Traci Brooks vs. Gail Kim

The bell rings and Gail says lay down. Traci kicks out and hammers away (kind of) on Gail to a big reaction. She beats on Kim for awhile and gets a rollup for two. There’s a spear and Karen comes down to say get out of the ring NOW. Traci grabs Karen but the referee makes the save. Madison runs in with a belt shot and it’s over at 2:16. Just a brawl really.

Roode and Jarrett say they’ll win.

Daniels challenges RVD to a technical match on Sunday.

We run down the Final Resolution card.

Jeff Hardy/AJ Styles vs. Robert Roode/Jeff Jarrett

It’s a big brawl and they even break up the big match intros. After they fight on the floor we start with AJ vs. Jarrett in the ring. AJ hits his leapfrog into a dropkick sequence which is always good. Jarrett sends him to the apron but avoids the springboard forearm. AJ tweeks the knee and brings in Hardy. Jarrett runs so we get a previous of the Genesis main event as we take a break.

Back with Hardy hitting a headscissors on Roode and then the double legdrop between the legs. Seated dropkick gets two. Back to AJ but the knee isn’t working well still. The heels work the knee over and Jarrett does the Tim Tebow pose. Hardy finally snaps (not because of Tebow) and the Jeffs brawl to the back.

We keep the camera on them because who needs to see that wrestling match stuff? Roode hooks on a half crab and back to the brawl again. AJ finally grabs a rope and gets a boot up to a charging Roode. He can’t do much though because of the knee. A spinebuster puts Styles down but the fisherman’s suplex is countered into a small package for the pin at 13:38.

Rating: C. Just a main event tag match here which was about setting up both main events on Sunday. There’s nothing wrong with that and the knee injury aspect adds a little something to the match. It gives Roode a way out or a way to a draw on Sunday, which he really didn’t have before. Pretty decent match though and fine for a TV main event.

AJ dives on Roode like an idiot and stands tall to almost end the show. Roode hits a running chop block to take the knee out again and rams it against the stage to really mess it up.  He yells at AJ a lot to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. Better show than the last few weeks and a pretty solid go home show. I’m still seeing Final Resolution as a B-show which I don’t think they’re really trying to disagree with. A lot of stuff got pushed here which is the idea and they did a pertty good job of it. Good stuff, but certainly not without flaws, such as D-Von/Pope and the Bischoff drama.

Results
Abyss b. Samoa Joe – Chokeslam
Mickie James b. Madison Rayne – Jumping DDT
Garrett Bischoff b. Gunner – Single Leg Rollup
Gail Kim b. Traci Brooks – Pin after a belt shot
AJ Styles/Jeff Hardy b. Robert Roode/Jeff Jarrett – Small Package to Roode

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Impact Wrestling
Date: December 1, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

We’ve got two more shows before Final Resolution and the card is starting to come together. It feels like a filler PPV until we get to something a lot bigger. The interesting thing will be if Storm is allowed to wrestle again as he’s really getting hurt by being injured as the mini-feud with Roode he had made him the real star out of the whole thing. But it’s a concussion so it’s hard to say when he’ll be better. Let’s get to it.

We open with a video of Roode’s family talking about how he’s pretty much abandoned them and it’s all about him anymore. Cool idea given how he was pushed as this family man when he was going for the title.

Sting opens the show and says everyone is trying to run this place. Right now, he’s going to deal with Bobby Roode, so get on out here. Roode says let’s get this over with. Sting talks about how Roode has done all this stuff and jumped Styles and Hardy to end the show. Roode calls it great TV and says Sting is welcome for what he’s done recently. Sting says he runs the place and it’s run his way. For every bad thing Roode does, there’s a consequence, which starts right now.

Cue AJ and Roode says Sting is fighting AJ’s battles now. Sting also brings out Hardy who asks why Roode doesn’t respect Sting’s authority. Sting says screw you Bobby and makes it a three way match for the main event tonight.

The Knockouts are in robes while Karen yells. She gets in Velvet’s face and yells about disrespect and all that jazz. Tonight they’re going to wash six cars and then the rest of them. Oh and they’ll be in swimsuits. Madison gladly disrobes and looks pretty good underneath it.

Jeff Hardy says he and AJ are about to go talk strategy. Jarrett comes up and takes his jacket off. He wants to know why Hardy thinks he belongs here. Hardy says this is his last shot. Jarrett throws his jacket in Hardy’s face and beats him down. Here’s your backstage brawl of the week.

Bischoff meets with Ray in the back because they don’t have an office anymore. Eric wants Ray to wait before killing his kid. Yeah brilliant there dude. Instead, let’s get rid of Abyss. Ray put him through a table and it did nothing so Eric suggests talking to him. Ray thinks he’s nuts (both Eric and Abyss) so he’ll get Scott Steiner to help talk. Oh geez.

The Knockouts are in bikinis and washing cars and Tara is forced to disrobe. ODB gets a street fight with Mickie James for some reason. If she hurts Mickie she’s the new #1 contender.

Mexican America vs. Ink Inc vs. D-Von/D’Angelo Dinero

Winners are #1 contenders. D-Von and Pope clear the ring until we get down to Pope vs. Anarquia with the street preacher taking over. The Mexicans finally take over until it’s a hot tag to D-Von. There’s nothing interesting going on here. I still want to know why they think pushing D-Von is a good thing. Neal tags himself in, spears Hernandez but walks into a spinebuster from D-Von for the pin at 5:06.

Rating: D+. Whatever man. The tag division is such a joke anymore without any solid teams in there. It’s like the tag champions and the #1 contenders are just slapped together with no real rhyme or reason. This isn’t going to be much of a match and does anyone buy that these guys are going to get the titles?

Here’s Austin Aries to talk a bit. He says he has a problem as the greatest man that ever lived. His plan was to revitalize the division and bring in some greatness, but his greatness is so far ahead of everyone else. It’s time to call this the A Double division. No one can hold a candle to him so….oh dang it here’s Kid Kash.

He talks about Turning Point and how Aries screwed him over after Kash took out Sorensen for him. It’s an old vs. new argument and Aries says he’s champion. Kash says he held it before. Aries says shake my hand and you have a shot. They shake hands and punch each other at the same time. I think that’s supposed to be a face turn for Kash.

Gunner goes to find Garrett Bischoff at a gym.

AJ says he’ll win tonight.

Gunner tries to find Garrett Bischoff but finds someone else who he beats up. No one else seems to care. He keeps looking and annoys someone else. Gunner beats up two more people and then the original guy comes back. There’s a clothesline for him and then he chokes the guy down. He hurts a guy’s arm and tried to be menacing, saying he’s coming for Garrett.

Sting yells at Jarrett, telling him to stay out of the main event tonight. Jarrett says Sting has no room to talk because he was in the match with Hardy at Victory Road. Sting says there will be consequences if Jarrett interferes. Jarrett says he might be willing to pay that consequence.

More parenting stuff from Roode’s “wife”.

The Knockouts are still washing cars. Taz’s car is in line for later and a bus or something like that comes up.

Steiner is lifting weights when Ray comes up to talk about Abyss. CAN WE HAVE A WRESTLING MATCH ALREADY??? Steiner suggests offering a freak to Abyss to get him to join their team again.

Mickie James vs. ODB

Street fight. It’s a brawl on the ramp to start and they roll towards the ring. Street fights mean falls count anywhere here I guess. Mickie’s rana is countered into a powerbomb. They go into the crowd and Mickie fights back in front of a handicap ramp. ODB hits her with a lot of metal stuff and Mickie looks a bit dead. We do the odd hardcore match thing where people insist on walking around.

She walks around even more until Mickie gets in a chop. Gee, I wonder if the minute long walk had anything to do with her getting a second wind. Back to the ring and Mickie starts her comeback. ODB breaks up the jumping DDT and gets a chair. Like any idiot, she holds it in front of her face to allow Mickie to kick the chair into her face for the pin at 7:00.

Rating: D+. Well that was pretty dull. I have no idea why they went walking around like that but I never get that in any wrestling match with hardcore rules. ODB continues to look like an idiot and the girls are still better than the Divas, but they’re still nothing to blow my skirt up. The weak show continues.

Storm (at home) says he’s still out with a concussion. Angle interrupts and asks Storm how it felt to have his head bashed in and how his daughter reacted to it. Angle blames Storm for losing the title so Angle says be here next week to confirm a match at Final Resolution. Storm says it’ll be a beating, not a match.

Some chicks are in the back and looking for Abyss.

We see the long version of Roode’s family complaining. Roode says he got them a bunch of stuff with the money so if he’s a user, so are they.

TV Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Robbie E

Why do I have a feeling the obvious ending isn’t the one that is going to happen? RVD dominates to start and sends Robbie to the floor quickly. Big Rob gets in a shot to take over and Robbie pounds away a bit. Back to the floor and here’s Eric Young in underwear with a fire extinguisher. RVD gets a kick to the face and hits the Five Star but Eric has the referee. Daniels runs in and hits Angel’s Wings on RVD so Robbie can get the pin at 4:02.

Rating: Rob. What else do you want me to call it? This was about as predictable as you could want it to be, which isn’t saying much. The match wasn’t the point here obviously and the idea was to have Daniels run in and Young to be all wacky because that’s all he knows how to do.

Steiner’s girls are all messed up after meeting Abyss.

The Knockouts get in a fight with the water and soap. Karen comes in with garden hoses and sprays them all down.

Robert Roode vs. AJ Styles vs. Jeff Hardy

This has over twenty minutes to go so maybe it’ll be good. This is non-title of course. Roode immediately hits the floor and we get our first contact about a minute in with both guys beating on Roode. He gets ping-ponged between the two of them and then clotheslined to the floor. Time for the face showdown….or not. Instead they get in a mini argument over who gets to dive to the floor. Hardy hits a baseball slide as we take a break.

Back with Roode hitting a belly to back suplex for one as Hardy makes the save. AJ gets his eyes raked and accidentally hits Hardy, giving us the showdown we’ve been waiting for. AJ hits his drop down into a dropkick sequence but Hardy takes over and gets two of his own. Roode comes back in and beats both guys down before focusing on Hardy. Spinebuster gets two.

AJ pops back up with the springboard forearm and backflip into the reverse DDT on Roode. Roode takes over again and hits a fisherman’s suplex on AJ which Hardy breaks up. Twist of Fate to Roode and he loads up the Swanton, but here’s Jarrett to crotch him. Roode covers Hardy for the easy pin at 14:30.

Rating: C. Pretty ok match here but at the end of the day, so what? This is more about pushing Jeff vs. Jeff again and that’s not exactly something interesting. Not a bad match at all but I’ve never been a fan of three ways, which isn’t helping things here. At least it sets up a match at Final Resolution, which we’ll get to now.

Sting comes out and makes Jeff vs. Jeff in a cage at the PPV. If Jarrett escapes first, Hardy is gone. If Hardy escapes first, he gets the title shot at Genesis. Karen comes out to yell so she’ll be handcuffed to Sting during the match.

Overall Rating: D+. The biggest problem with this show is that the pacing problems were back. There were five minutes of wrestling in the first hour and for what? So we could have segments about Gunner, Garrett Bischoff, and the Knockouts in swimsuits? That’s what we’re focusing on now? This was a backstage heavy show and that’s really not all that interesting. Also, you don’t need to have Roode’s family pop in all through the show if you’re going to show a full version of it later on. Not a bad show, but pretty boring overall.

Results
D-Von/D’Angelo Dinero b. Mexican America and Ink Inc – Spinebuster to Neal
Mickie James b. ODB – Spinning kick to the face
Robbie E b. Rob Van Dam – Pin after Angel’s Wings
Bobby Roode b. AJ Styles and Jeff Hardy – Pinned Hardy after Jeff Jarrett interfered

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Unforgiven 2008
Date: September 7, 2008
Location: Quicken Loans Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Attendance: 8,707
Commentators: Jim Ross, Tazz, Mick Foley, Jerry Lawler, Todd Grisham, Matt Striker

We’re at the end of the Unforgiven series here and the most important thing is that we have a pretty unique concept to it tonight. This time, it’s based around Championship Scrambles for the world titles. The idea is you have 5 people and a 20 minute time limit. Whoever gets the last pinfall (I’m not sure if you have to pin the champion) before the time is up wins the match and the championship. There are three of them. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is all about the Scramble but then shifts over into Jericho vs. Shawn which is based on Jericho accidentally hitting Shawn’s wife in the face and setting up an unsanctioned match with them tonight.

ECW Title: Matt Hardy vs. Mark Henry vs. Finlay vs. The Miz vs. Chavo Guerrero

The guys come in on a random draw with Hardy vs. The Miz. Man who would have thought Miz and Henry would be the biggest stars out of this group? Miz is just a chick magnet here. You don’t have to pin the current champion (Mark Henry) to become the interim champion (best word I can think of for it). These two will fight for five minutes until someone else comes in.

Miz and Matt exchange some pinfall attempts even though they don’t really mean much at this point. The corner clothesline misses for the Chick Magnet and Matt gets a cool move in as Miz is caught in the corner and Matt pulls him out by his legs into a sitout powerbomb. It’s kind of hard to describe but basically Matt pulled him out of the air into the powerbomb. We get a history of Cameron, North Carolina which has like 600 people in it to fill time since nothing in the first 19:00 is going to mean anything.

According to Striker this is the brainchild of Pat Patterson. He also came up with the Royal Rumble so maybe this will be good. Miz hits the Reality Check but Matt falls to the floor. Eventually that gets two as Chavo is the third guy in. Ok so now it’s a triple threat for five minutes. Chavo hits a Frog Splash on Matt for the pin to become the Interim Champion very quickly. I don’t think he has to get pinned to change it but I’m not sure. Yeah it can be anyone pinning anyone so it’s like a triple threat.

Chavo busts out a rolling Liger kick of all things and then a suicide dive to further kill Miz. Everyone goes to one corner but Miz shoves them both off. He busts out a cross body to take out both guys, getting two on Hardy. Matt takes over and pops Miz with a right hand and a Side Effect to Chavo gives Matt the Interim Title. The fans are way behind Matt here and they should be.

Everyone slows down as Mark Henry comes in at #4. Everyone goes after Mark when the right answer would be to run from him. If he can’t catch you, he can’t pin you. Henry takes them all down with ease, not selling anyone like a good monster. The Slam gets the pin on Chavo to make him Interim Champion. Hardy escapes the Slam but gets knocked to the floor quickly.

Again, why does everyone go after Henry? We’ve established that you can pin anyone but wrestlers are stupid above all other things. Henry takes turns giving people bearhugs to people and finally settles on Hardy. Here’s Finlay to complete the group with five minutes to go. Finlay goes straight for Henry and actually pounds him down, getting a DDT for two. Horny slides Finlay the club and Henry is thrown to the floor after a shot with it. A Celtic Cross to Hardy makes Finlay Interim champion at 3:45 to go.

Miz comes in and takes out Finlay with a missile dropkick but walks into a Twist of Fate and Matt is champion at 3:15 to go. Henry and everyone else is back in now and Hardy starts playing defense, breaking up every possible cover. Two minutes left. Henry slams everyone in sight other than Hardy and Miz rolls up Finlay for two. Miz is cut a little bit on the forehead.

Finlay tries the Celtic Cross on Hardy but Henry breaks it up. The Slam gets two on Miz as Hardy saves again. Thirty seconds left and Hardy starts throwing people to the floor in some GREAT psychology. Everyone winds up in a pile in the corner and time runs out, making Matt the official champion.

Rating: B. Fun match here as the ending few minutes after Hardy got the Interim Title were great with him THINKING through the whole thing, knowing that he had to keep anyone from pinning anyone and finding ways to prevent that from happening. This was really fun and Matt would hold the title for awhile until Jack Swagger debuted and eventually took it from him, prompting Matt’s ill-advised heel turn.

The Hardys celebrate in the back after a video for Mania tickets.

HHH and Punk are warming up. They’re the champions coming in.

Should Big Show have been in the title match? Run up your cell phone bill and let us know!

Raw Tag Titles: Cryme Tyme vs. Legacy

If nothing else we get the Priceless theme here which is always a treat. JTG vs. Rhodes to start us off. The racial stereotypes take over and clear the ring quickly with a double clothesline from Shad sending the champions to the floor. Shad vs. DiBiase takes up some time and Ted does about as well as Cody did. The challengers hit a nice double team move ending in a slingshot clothesline by Jimmy the Gimmick.

Legacy finally realizes that JTG is beating them up and takes over with double teaming. They work on JTG’s arm and show how much they’ve grown in the past few years as they’re not much here. Jerry gets on Cole for talking too much as JTG fights back, hitting a belly to back suplex. Cody prevents the tag and Legacy cheats like proper heels. I get a little smile on my face every time JTG gets punched. I can’t help it after watching over 35 weeks of him on NXT.

Cody works on the arm a little more and then slams JTG near the corner. A moonsault (decent one too) misses and it’s hot tag to Shad. Remember when JTG vs. Shad was supposed to be a big feud? Neither do I but some people actually believe it would be. Shad cleans house and I can see why people thought he’d be a good bodyguard style character. The guy has a good look and can do some power stuff.

Not that it really matters here as Cody grabs a DDT on him to slow him down. It only gets two but the momentum was stopped dead. Cody comes in legally now and gets his head taken off via a lariat. In a not great ending, JTG rolls up Rhodes as Shad hits DiBiase. DiBiase stumbles into the package and rolls it over so that JTG gets pinned. Why didn’t he just let go?

Rating: C-. Not as bad as most Raw matches but still it’s nothing all that great. They tried and Cryme Tyme was over, but Legacy at this point wasn’t a threat of any kind. Neither had a finisher that I remember and they came off as rookies with zero personality (intentionally I think) and didn’t do anything until a few years later when they split from Orton, which took years to get to.

There’s a post match brawl until Manu debuts to help Legacy. He joined them for like a month and no one cared.

Shawn is having his bad arm taped up for his match with Jericho. Shawn is in fighting clothes and has a partial tear in his elbow tendon.

We recap Jericho vs. Shawn. The feud had been going for awhile before this but at Summerslam, Shawn had said that he was listening to his doctors for once and was walking away due to his eye and various other injuries. Jericho said he didn’t accept that because Shawn was doing it in the spotlight, unlike how he should do it by resigning quietly.

Jericho wanted Shawn to admit that it was Jericho that retired him but Shawn said no, but to tell your family that you’ll never be Shawn Michaels. With that, Jericho went for the eye but Shawn ducked and Jericho punched Shawn’s wife. Jericho, the consummate heel, said that it was Shawn’s fault. Shawn vows revenge and it’s an unsanctioned match tonight. This easily won feud of the year and the match at No Mercy won match of the year. This is no slouch though.

Chris Jericho vs. Shawn Michaels

This is unsanctioned and it’s pin or submission only. In essence, it’s no holds barred. Cole says Shawn told him of a Bible verse which talks about the Walls of Jericho coming down. That’s a great line. Why is there a WWE referee in an unsanctioned match? Couldn’t anyone referee it/not need a referee? Shawn takes his cowboy boot off to whack Jericho with it as he’s going after the eye just like Chris did to him.

They’re into the crowd already and it’s been all Shawn. The injury is to the triceps, not the elbow. Jericho is bleeding from the nose so Shawn hits a slingshot into the post. Shawn’s chair shot misses and Chris sends him into the table (doesn’t break it) to take over. Now we get a breakable table set up but instead Jericho just throws it at Shawn to keep him down. Chris tries to powerbomb him through the table but Shawn fires off punches. Jericho just drops him face first onto the apron instead to keep the advantage. That looked painful.

Back inside now and Jericho works Shawn over with a chair. Jericho wedges said chair in the corner but misses a charge into the opposite corner, ramming into the post. Jericho can’t suplex Shawn over the top through the table as Shawn lands on the apron. Back in Shawn nips up and just chokes Jericho down. The elbow hits and Shawn is all fired up. Sorry for the play by play but this is one of those matches where you almost have to have all of the individual details for the other stuff to make sense.

Shawn sets for Chin Music but stops to punch Jericho more. Off to a Crossface but Jericho manages to send his head into the chair, reinjuring the eye. Jericho peppers the eye so Shawn fires off right hands. Shawn tries a piledriver but gets reversed into the Walls instead. Shawn gets to a rope but THANKFULLY the referee doesn’t break it. Instead HBK finds a fire extinguisher from somewhere to spray in Chris’ eyes to break the hold.

They go to the floor and Jericho goes into the barricade as it’s all Shawn here. There’s a suplex on the ramp and both guys are down. Here’s Lance Cade and Shawn beats him up too. Cade gets in a shot to the arm though and Jericho wraps the arm around the post for good measure. Jericho hits the arm with a chair as Shawn is in real trouble. They set to Pillmanize the arm but Shawn kicks Cade into the ropes to crotch Jericho. Chin Music puts Cade down and clocks Jericho with the chair, sending him to the floor through the table.

Shawn works over Jericho with the chair now and loads up the announcers’ table as per wrestling law. Cade is laid out on the table while Jericho is on the floor. Shawn sets to go up top but instead coems down and puts Jericho on top of Cade on the table. Here’s your HUGE spot of the match as Shawn drops an elbow onto the back of Jericho and pops up somehow. That was awesome!

Back in the ring Shawn whips Jericho with the belt and won’t let up. He pulls Jericho’s arm around his own neck (Jericho’s arm is around Jericho’s neck) and pounds away at the eye as the referee is begging him to have mercy. Shawn just doesn’t care and goes back after the eye until in an unsanctioned match, the referee stops it, drawing a very mixed reaction from the crowd.

Rating: A-. This is one of those matches where blood would have really improved things. Having Shawn in a white shirt and having him covered in Jericho’s blood to end it and looking down at himself and not caring how far he let it go would have been a great ending. That being said, it’s still a great revenge match as Jericho did everything imaginable to make the fans hate him and it worked. Good stuff here, although the lack of a clearer finish hurt it.

Shawn goes after Jericho again post match and superkicks the referee when he tries to stop him. The fans are very pleased.

Legacy (Manu included) is in the back when Orton comes in. Rhodes introduces Orton to (named) Manu and Manu praises the champs. Orton says it was luck instead of skill. Orton says talent is forever but luck can run out, so no he’s not impressed.

Smackdown World Title: Triple H vs. Jeff Hardy vs. The Brian Kendrick vs. MVP vs. Shelton Benjamin

Same rules as earlier and Jeff starts with Shelton who is currently a boring heel and US Champion. Shelton says he’s the Gold Standard. Yep, that’s really the best they could come up with him. Hardy grabs a rollup to start and they’re moving out there. They kind of botch something as you could tell Shelton was supposed to do something but Hardy moved. He immediately grabs a headlock and you can hear him talking to Jeff. Snap suplex gets two for Shelton.

JR talks about the Grand Slam Title and Hardy looking to become the 7th Grand Slam winner ever. Hardy takes him to the mat and gets a bunch of nearfalls. There’s the countdown and Kendrick (with Big Zeke Jackson) is in third. He was channeling some serious Brian Pillman around this time too. Zeke doesn’t come with him here for some reason. Kendrick chills outside and Shelton tries to hook a German on Hardy off the apron. Kendrick knocks Shelton to the floor, possibly by mistake, and then goes after Hardy.

A forearm gets two on Hardy and Kendrick is all lit up. Jeff grabs a faceplant on Kendrick out of nowhere and becomes Interim Champion in a POP. Back to Shelton now who Hardy covers, probably out of instinct. Shelton misses a Stinger Splash so Jeff rolls him up again. Twist of Fate is countered into Shelton’s Paydirt finisher for two. Kendrick hits Sliced Bread and is Interim Champion.

Up fourth is MVP and I have no idea if he’s a face or a heel. The fans cheer for him so we’ll say face. He throws out the white guys and beats on Shelton. MVP loads up the Drive By on Shelton but Kendrick comes out of nowhere with a SICK leg lariat to a huge reaction. Jeff is back in now and hits the slingshot dropkick on MVP and Shelton at the same time. Shelton finally takes Kendrick down with a Samoan Drop.

Everyone knocks each other down as we’re waiting for HHH to come in and dominate everything in sight. Kendrick counters a Shelton powerbomb into a nice rana. Here’s HHH and Kendrick has been Interim Champion for five minutes plus now. Facebuster for MVP and a spinebuster for Kendrick sets up a Pedigree to make HHH Interim Champion 48 seconds after his music hit.

We’re under four minutes now as Shelton takes a beating from HHH on the floor. MVP and Hardy are in the ring now and a Twist of Fate makes Hardy the Interim Champion (POP) with about 3 minutes left. Sliced Bread is kind of countered so Hardy hits a sitout gordbuster and goes up for the Swanton. HHH makes the save and Pedigrees Kendrick again to get the title at 2:00. Jeff Swantons Kendrick immediately and is champion with 1:45 to go.

Pedigree is countered and we’re under 90 seconds. Hardy dives on HHH and the other three do a Tower of Doom spot to put everyone down at 40 seconds left. Whisper in the Wind to MVP and a Swanton to Shelton. HHH runs back in for a Pedigree on MVP and Hardy shows his idiocy by not breaking it up as HHH wins the belt back with 1 second left. Hardy’s time was coming.

Rating: B-. Nowhere near as good of a match as this was about Hardy and HHH having another contest. HHH did his thing and is somehow a 13 time champion or whatever. Not as good as the first one because we all knew it would be Hardy or HHH at the end of the day. Kendrick was shockingly champion for the longest amount of time while MVP never was anything more than a bonus. The ending was stupid too with not breaking up that cover which he saw.

Shawn says he’s not happy with what happened and he’ll be back for more. He’s content but there’s no closure. He wants to hurt Jericho like that every night and the worst is yet to come for Jericho.

Punk is in the back when Orton comes up. He calls Punk a fluke and Punk runs him down, saying he’s always hurt and all that stuff. Punk says he’s busy at the moment when Legacy attacks. Kofi tries to come in for the save but is beaten down also. Punk gets Punted and is out cold. This wouldn’t be paid off for over two years but they FINALLY got to it eventually.

Divas Title: Maryse vs. Michelle McCool

Michelle is champion. Michelle as a face just never worked. She’s such a natural villain and her pumping her fist doesn’t work at all. She hurts her knee going to the floor and Maryse works on it as we’re waiting for the people to get back from popcorn time to end this. Michelle works on Maryse’s leg in a heel hook but she gets a rope. The fans are all over this match already. A sitout gordbuster keeps the title on McCool.

Rating: D-. Michelle and Maryse are too hot to be a failure but the match was terrible. NO ONE cared and that was very clear. Nothing to see here and we’re moving on. Why this got almost six minutes was crazy but I’d assume that it was due to a long line at the Cena shirt booths. Horrible match.

Mike Adamle, the GM of Raw, says Punk is out of the title match and that he’ll find someone else.

Here’s Big Show to chat for a bit. He offers his services to replace Punk in the title match. Show says go vote and makes a bunch of election references for some reason. He asks the fans if they’ll vote for him and goes to leave but the still fat Vickie waddles out. She blasts him for no apparent reason and this is going nowhere. She throws him out and that causes…druids?

Show is laughing as a casket is brought out. This takes FOREVER until Taker pops up on the screen. He says he’s coming for her like he promised and she’ll burn and all that jazz. Show holds Vickie there and this takes forever. Taker grabs Vickie by the throat and Show turns heel, knocking Taker out. The beating goes on for awhile because we have 15 people in three matches so there’s almost no midcard to speak of.

We recap the Raw World Title match. Orton was on Raw and called out Punk for disgracing the title. Orton was injured at this point and Punk called him an afterthought. That set up the punt earlier.

Regal is talking to Adamle and says he should be in the Scramble. Adamle says he’s on the list but Punk might be able to go.

Raw World Title: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Batista vs. Kane vs. Rey Mysterio vs. ???

Batista vs. JBL gets us going in the main event here. Batista takes over quickly with power (duh) but JBL hooks a sleeper. Big Dave breaks that quickly and throws on a pretty freaking good Figure Four. It’s better than most HHH ever used. JBL no sells the knee work and beats on Batista outside. Kane comes in third and that wasn’t five minutes. That might not have been four minutes.

He’s a heel here if you’re not all that up to date on your Kane face/heel alignment. He hits his low dropkick and I guess if no one gets a pin here, Punk is still champion? JBL is still down so it’s one on one here. Side slam puts Batista down and Kane misses the clothesline off the top. Batista misses a spear but breaks out of the chokeslam. JBL pops back in and walks into a chokeslam to make Kane Interim Champion. Rey, complete with mowhawk, is in fourth and that wasn’t five minutes either.

Rey knocks Kane to the floor but JBL comes back and pops him in the face with a punch. He speeds things up but Kane ducks a 619 and takes Rey’s stupid looking mowhawked head off with a clothesline. Batista and Rey team up to beat up Kane and then Mysterio tries to steal a pin on Batista. JBL beats up various people as the fifth man is….Chris Jericho. You know, because no one is better suited than the guy that is walking slower than an 80 year old woman.

Jericho gets in after 50 seconds of walking down the aisle, only to have Batista spear him down. Now that just wasn’t nice. Four minutes left and Batista takes everyone down. He manages a big boot to Kane and gets two as Rey saves. Under three minutes. 619 to JBL and Batista DESTROYS Rey as he’s trying a springboard move. Rey just collapsed and it looked awesome. Two minutes left and everyone is down. Kane gets up and the clothesline gets two on Big Dave with 75 seconds left. Batista spears Kane down with 53 to go and a spinebuster makes Batista Interim Champion at 35 seconds. Rey goes after Batista and Jericho steals a pin on Kane with 4 seconds left to win the title.

Rating: D+. The problem was that once Jericho came in, everyone knew he was going to win. He was by far and away the hottest thing in the company at this point though so you can’t really argue putting the belt on him. Not a good match in the slightest but Jericho winning was a great surprise and gave Shawn vs. Jericho a new dynamic and a reason to continue, which was a good thing.

Overall Rating: C+. Pretty decent show overall and definitely something different, but the Scrambles get old after the second one. The LONG Taker vs. Show segment is annoying because that feud was played 5 years before this show. Shawn vs. Jericho is a great brawl and the ECW match is good, but the rest is pretty weak stuff, especially since the lowest of the Scrambles was the best.

Well I’m done with Unforgiven now and there’s not much to say here. It’s just another B level show that had some good years and some bad but it’s never something worth much. It’s the Backlash of Summerslam and while that’s fine, it doesn’t make for a ton of interesting matches and stories because everything significant was done the month before. Next up will be the Great American Bash.

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Impact Wrestling
Date: November 10, 2011
Location: Macon Coliseum, Macon, Georgia
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

We’re still in Macon and it’s time for the go home show before Turning Point. At this moment, we have no main event as the world title has changed twice in three weeks so we haven’t had much of an opportunity to set anything up. I’d expect a tacked on main event which is TNA’s custom far too often. This show has been better than Raw (arguably) recently. Let’s get to it.

We open up with a video of Roode turning heel last week to win the title.

Here’s Roode to open the show with the belt. He doesn’t know why the people are booing him. Wait, are they booing him or are they chanting Roode, because that’s what they were doing last week when they were cheering him on. Is it because he killed Beer Money? Or is it because he did everything that they all would have done in the same situation? This is a new generation and he’s the leader of that generation.

You can do everything right and it means nothing. We see an inset of Storm wanting to come to the ring but the agents hold him back. Roode talks about how after BFG, he learned you have to take your opportunities and that’s what he did. Here comes Storm and the fans are happy to see him. Storm beats them down and charges the ring but Roode bails.

As security holds Storm back, here’s Sting. He makes the rematch for tonight and that’s it.

Tonight it’s AJ vs. Daniels. AGAIN.

Here’s a video on Crimson vs. Morgan. This isn’t a dream match no matter how much they want it to be.

D’Angelo Dinero vs. Crimson

After having to watch Elijah Burke and Matt Morgan reach levels of uninteresting that I honestly didn’t think existed in their feud in OVW in I think 03 or 04, THANK GOODNESS this is Crimson. They exchange headlocks to start us off and I don’t think anyone knows who Pope is. A DDT gets two as does a middle rope fist drop. Crimson grabs a Cravate but gets punched back again. Pope goes up again but jumps into the Red Sky for the pin at 2:38. As almost usual with Crimson, he got beaten down but hit one move for the win.

Gunner says he’ll destroy Garrett Bischoff and something about a code in the military.

Gunner vs. Garrett Bischoff

Gunner is really lous and talks trash to Garrett. He turns to talk to Eric (he and Flair are on the floor) and walks into a pretty decent armdrag and make it two of them. Garrett takes over with some basic stuff and isn’t half bad at it. And then Flair and Eric come in, I think for a DQ, as Garrett runs. It ran about 1:45. Based on this, Eric can have his contract rewritten.

Robbie E and Big Rob try to get to Ronnie from Jersey Shore. This goes nowhere.

After a break we see Storm out cold and covered in blood.

Zema Ion vs. Jesse Sorensen

Basic stuff to start and Ion goes up. The 450 misses a reverse Cross Rhodes ends this at 1:57. There’s nothing else to say here.

Kid Kash comes out to run his mouth and be annoying and southern. Kash says Sorensen gets the title shot at Turning Point but it’s in a three way dance. Sorensen signs the contract and Kash implies he slept with Sorensen’s mother.

Karen tells Gail and Madison that they look pretty.

Knockout Tag Titles: Mickie James/Velvet Sky vs. Gail Kim/Madison Rayne

Velvet spears Madison down to start and hammers away. Madison gets beaten down quickly and it’s off to Mickie who looks great tonight. Gail shoves her off the top and then comes in to beat on her a bit. The match means nothing at all as it’s all to set up Gail pinning Velvet to set up the PPV match for the singles title. Velvet comes in and takes over, hitting an awful looking spinning bulldog or something. Mickie goes up and something is clipped as Mickie hits the Thesz Press. A sitout Pedigree ends Madison but Velvet walks into Eat Defeat for the pin at 4:00. See? Told you so.

Rating: D. Whatever man. That’s what I’m going to start every Knockouts rating with. The problem at the end of the day is that these stories don’t mean anything and the feuds usually have zero heat on them at all. Nothing to see here and like I said, the ending was about as obvious as any I’ve ever seen in my life.

James is awake and Sting comes to see him. The trainer is trying to sew him up and he can’t stand.

We recap the Robs vs. Ronnie/Eric Young. Let’s get this over with.

Ronnie/Eric Young vs. Robbie E/Rob Terry

Ronnie and Robbie start us off but they tag out before there’s any contact. Eric locks up with the referee. Oh that wacky comedy! Eric gets beaten down as we await the “reality” TV star to make the save. A belly to belly suplex puts Robbie down and there’s the hot tag to Ronnie. To the shock of no one, he does some basic stuff not that horrible and we’re supposed to care for some reason. Eric drops a top rope elbow…and he’s in leopard print underwear now. A splash from Ronnie gets the pin at 4:15.

Rating: F. I hate the Jersey Shore and I review wrestlers having matches. That is all.

Immortal says they’ll win tonight.

Mexican America gets in a fight with Ink Inc in catering. There’s a tag title match Sunday.

Here’s an MMA guy on commentary for the next match.

AJ Styles vs. Christopher Daniels

This is match #eleventy billion between them. The MMA guy gets a closeup as we miss part of the match. The match is a backdrop as we praise Bellator and how great it is. They’re debuting on Spike soon after UFC leaves. AJ flips over in the corner and Daniels takes over. This is just their usual match with Daniels controlling for the most part and then AJ starts his comeback. He hits his usual stuff and we talk about MMA. Here’s the screwdriver after we go to the floor. RVD comes out to take it away and AJ uses the distraction to hit the Clash for the pin at 7:27.

Rating: C. This is a good example of a match that’s fine but I just don’t care. The problem again is that we’ve seen this so many times that there’s nothing to see in it anymore. We’ve seen AJ Styles vs. Christopher Daniels so many times that there’s nothing left to watch them do. Daniels vs. anyone else would be interesting.

Here’s the card for Turning Point. The tag title match is in a six person match.

Immortal vs. Jeff Hardy/Mr. Anderson/???

The mystery partner is Abyss. Well that was shocking. Scott beats on Hardy a bit as Hardy sells like only he can. He really is good at that. Jeff hits the mule kick and it’s off to Anderson. The heels beat on him a bit with a bunch of elbows from Ray. Off to Hardy as we’re waiting for Abyss to come in and dominate.

The Matt Hardy leg drop hits Bubba but Jarrett breaks up the Swanton. Hardy gets beaten down for a bit and it’s off to Abyss for the real hot tag. The Stroke is countered into Shock Treatment and Ray walks into the Twist and Swanton. Stroke to Hardy, Mic Check to Jarrett, suplex to Anderson, Black Hole Slam and pin to Steiner at 8:15.

Rating: C-. Basic match here but the ending was pretty good. Abyss as a mystery partner was kind of odd as it’s not like there’s anyone else they would have put in there that would have made sense. Him as an official face isn’t bad and it’s good to see Immortal pretty firmly in the midcard where they belong.

TNA World Title: Bobby Roode vs. James Storm

The match is set to start after a break and there’s no Storm. The music plays twice and he finally comes out. He’s COVERED in blood. Storm goes off to start but then collapses. Storm is out cold. The referee throws up the X and the trainer is here. Roode acts all concerned and says he wants to check on Storm. He asks if the amtch is over and then rolls Storm up for the pin at 2:40.

AJ and Kaz come out and it’s AJ vs. Roode on Sunday.

Overall Rating: C+. The wrestling wasn’t great here but the big thing is we had 8 matches. That’s a HUGE improvement as that means 8 different stories or angles were addressed, plus the tag title match was actually mentioned on TV. This was a well put together show which is what they’ve been lacking for a long time. Good stuff here, although not great. Major improvement in some areas though.

Results
Crimson b. D’Angelo Dinero – Red Sky
Garrett Bischoff b. Gunner via DQ when Ric Flair interfered
Jesse Sorensen b. Zema Ion – Reverse Spinning DDT
Gail Kim/Madison Rayne b. Velvet Sky/Mickie James – Eat Defeat
Ronnie/Eric Young b. Robbie E/Rob Terry – Ronnie pinned Robbie E after a splash
AJ Styles b. Christopher Daniels – Styles Clash
Abyss/Jeff Hardy/Mr. Anderson b. Jeff Jarrett/Scott Steiner/Bully Ray – Black Hole Slam to Steiner
Robert Roode b. James Storm – Pin after Storm collapsed

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Night of Champions 2009
Date: July 26, 2009
Location: Wachovia Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 17,774
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Todd Grisham, Matt Striker, Josh Matthews

So what we have here is Night of Champions where everything on the roster is for a title. Literally, every match is a title match. I think I like that actually. Sure it’s a gimmick show, but at the same time that’s all you need at times. We’ve got a Mania 24 rematch and Punk vs. Hardy for the respective titles. This has been recently dubbed the 5th big one of the year, so let’s get to it.

The opening video is about as basic as you could imagine as almost everything is about being a champion. Why mess with something that simple? It focuses on the two main matches as you would also expect. Norcal was at this show so expect a few lines about him here and there.

Unified Tag Titles: Legacy vs. Chris Jericho/???

So Edge snapped his ankle and has no partner, meaning anyone that’s paid attention for the past few months knows who this is going to be. We get the video of Edge’s injury saying he’ll come back and take care of Jericho. That’s going to be an awesome feud. And it’s the Big Show. No one got this and the rumor was they picked him seconds before with the video being shown to buy them some more time.

There are cool banners with pictures of the belts hanging from them. It looks sweet. Rhodes and Show start us off. Show just beats the heck out of both guys as you would expect. You could bet on Jerishow retaining here even from the perspective of watching it live. In a nice move, Legacy hits a tandem chop block and clothesline. Not bad at all. Rhodes whispers something into the ear of Jericho but he does it just subtly enough that unless you knew to look for it you wouldn’t notice it. Well done.

Rhodes busts out a nice moonsault to Jericho. He’s underrated in the ring as his offense keeps changing up. The problem with this match becomes apparent quickly: Jericho and Show are the default faces even though they’re supposed to be the heels. We hit insane mode and Show puts down both guys and after a Codebreaker, the Colossal Clutch ends it.

Rating: C+. It was fine. That’s the only thing I can think of to say for this one. It was designed to be a pure squash for the new champions to get them over and that’s exactly what it did. Rather boring match but it served its purpose very well.

We go to the back to CM Punk, and it’s promo time. This is the promo that made CM Punk to a lot of people and I remember wanting to jump up and cheer at it. He talks about how the parents letting their children support Jeff Hardy and his drug addicted lifestyle and how eventually they start doing as Jeff does: smoking, drinking, drugs etc., and it all started because the parents wouldn’t take responsibility for their kids. The fans cheering for everything that he lists off is great as this was the perfect crowd to do this in front of.

ECW Title: Tommy Dreamer vs. Christian

Dreamer in ECW wearing the ECW Title is perfect to say the least. And WWE can’t have that, so they have him come out second and have the king of the smarks Christian come out second so that he gets a much bigger pop than Dreamer who has earned 30 seconds of glory. As you know, Christian wins here, which is also ridiculous as it wouldn’t have killed them to do this at TV.

Seriously, let Dreamer have his moment in ECW in Philly. Striker points out that the ECW Title has changed hands a lot in Philly. Thanks for that. I never would have guessed on that one. I love that running rolling flip that Dreamer does. You can see there’s a fairly big lack of psychology here as they’re just kind of walking through spots with little flow to it at all. We hit a sleeper already which isn’t a good sign.

More or less Dreamer is using nothing but jobber offense and signature spots. To be fair though you could argue that those are one in the same. Dreamer hooks a Texas Cloverleaf of all things. We hit an always fun pinfall reversal sequence. They trade finishing holds that are countered until Christian hits the Killswitch for the pin and the championship.

Rating: D+. While I hate Dreamer losing the belt in Philly, he got about two months with it so I can’t argue much on that. Christian has held the belt since this match. That being said, this just wasn’t that good. Dreamer simply isn’t that good in the ring but if nothing else this was just a nostalgic reign for Dreamer so that’s all well and good.

Ad for Summerslam.

Jerishow say they’re going to dominate. Cookie cutter promo if there has ever been one.

US Title: Kofi Kingston vs. Jack Swagger vs. Carlito vs. The Miz vs. Primo vs. MVP

Swagger does a little dance on the way to the ring. More or less it was a given that someone was going to take the title from Kofi here. I think Carlito’s mustache has its own population. Miz gets a NICE pop. Primo is replacing Big Show who was supposed to be in here. And there are no tags here. That rarely makes things any better or easier to call at all. Hey, did you know Kofi doesn’t have to be pinned to lose his title?

I didn’t know if it was made clear that Kofi doesn’t have to be pinned to lose his title. I want to make it clear that Kofi doesn’t have to be pinned to lose his title. It’s just a massive mess as everyone is trying to get a spot in there where they can. Also there are a lot of guys randomly staying on the floor for long periods of time. They mess up a save spot as Swagger hits Primo for the save about 5 seconds after Miz kicked out.

The Puerto Ricans are exploding here as they don’t like each other even though no one cares at all. Swagger and MVP are having the same angle that MVP and Miz are having now. No one is in the ring at the moment. Kofi’s movement is amazing to say the least and there’s the incredibly named Boom Drop. They do a Tower of Doom spot with Miz taking the most damage.

The crowd is dead here in case you were wondering. Miz is unceremoniously dumped to the floor. Is there a ceremonious way to do that? Everyone gets a quick rollup or pin and it gets some applause if nothing else. In a cool and actual believable spot, Miz hits the Skull Crushing Finale at the same time on MVP as he hits the Playmaker on Swagger. Kofi hits Trouble In Paradise on Carlito for the pin and the very surprising retain.

Rating: C-. I hate matches like these, I truly do. They’re just disasters to have one guy get a fluke pin and overcome a bunch of odds when in reality all it does is disguise the fact that there is no story or effort being put in here and it’s just a massive mess. Kofi winning was a nice surprise though.

Randy Orton says he’ll prove himself tonight. He reminds me of Lex Luthor from Smallville.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Michelle McCool vs. Melina

This is a rematch from The Bash which was brought on by some bad acting. Michelle’s bra is sticking WAY out here. Melina gyrates like no one I’ve ever seen. Michelle is the first person to use her freaking brain and kicks Melina on her splits intro. And there’s your first botch as they mess up an arm drag. We get some kicks that don’t actually connect as I have a bad feeling about this match.

We hit the floor and are told that a slam of the face into the barricade is a DDT. Riiiiiiiight. Melina is laying on the apron and in a coole counter she pulls up onto the bottom rope to avoid a baseball slide. They’re hitting hard but at the same time, they’re botching the heck out of so many things. Michelle reverses a rollup into a rollup for the pin. At least it was short.

Rating: D. They were trying but this was just a mess and a half. They were botching stuff left and right with there being little flow or psychology at all. Michelle has gotten better which to be fair she couldn’t have gotten much worse. This was really bad.

What in the heck is the point of McCool’s song? You’re not enough for me? That makes no sense.

Cena is here.

There was a tournament where the winner got Orton at NOC. More or less it was a way to have HHH vs. Cena on free TV and I won’t even go into how stupid that is. Legacy ran in for the double DQ so they made it a triple threat, which had been done before but no one cared. The video was as simple as you could ask for.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. HHH vs. Randy Orton

Cena of course gets a mixed reaction. HHH gets a very face reaction and of course Orton gets a very heel reaction. Vince must already be coming over just the entrances. We’re at 5 minutes for intros and Orton hasn’t come out yet. This could be an all night thing. And now we sit and wait on Orton. I guess Vince wanted a show. They say this was a great Wrestlemania main event.

Not only was it not a main event, but it was far from great. Orton doesn’t have to be pinned or tap out to lose the title. The ridiculousness of triple threats is never lost on me. Big match intros mean that it’s been 13 and a half minutes since the last match ended and the beginning of this. Good to see they’re keeping this thing moving. The faces double up on Orton to keep things moving quickly I guess.

Orton of course winds up in trouble as you would expect. The other thing I hate about these are how formula based they are. Why does one guy always wind up down on the floor only to show up just in time to make a save? I don’t get it at all. Cena does that top rope leg drop to both guys and it more or less completely misses. Philly really doesn’t like Cena at all.

Orton gets put to the floor with another completely ridiculous spot and it’s HHH and Cena again. Hmm I believe I called this coming no? It’s boo/yay time as they oversell punches to no end. Why would anyone duck their head against HHH? How stupid do you really have to be? Cena takes the Pedigree and in a STUNNING, yes STUNNING I say, turn of events, Orton makes the last second save. We’re in the crowd now. Oh never mind only Orton is.

The STFU is on HHH on the table, making it completely pointless. Cena gets the STFU on HHH again but in the ring this time. There’s zero drama at all here as it’s clear the match won’t end here. Cena dodges the punt (even though the kicking motion is more like a place kick) and rolls up Orton for two. That could have been a believable ending actually. Somehow Orton makes the Garvin Stomp more boring. How in the world is that possible?

And now the fans are chanting for Orton. It’s a very interesting sign that Orton is so hated that the fans would rather have Cena as champion again. HHH hooks a Sharpshooter because he’s HHH and can do whatever he wants to I guess. Cena adds a Crossface at the same time and Orton taps.

Let the nonsense begin. Legacy runs in for the beatdown as I wonder why Rhodes can’t wear sleeves. And Orton hits the RKO on Cena for the pin to retain. Yep, after tapping like that he keeps the belt. That’s not stupid at all.

Rating: D+. I hated this. Even Cole has disgust in his voice and I can’t blame him. No one wanted to watch Orton other than Vince so he can stare at his glistening body. Even Philly was cheering for Cena. What does that tell you? This was idiotic to say the least and the match sucked on top of that. Actually let me revise that. The match was ok, but the formula was idiotic. Cena and Orton began their ridiculous feud the next month at Summerslam.

Maryse is stretching for obvious reasons. That and her mustache must equal talent right? Miz hits on her and it fails.

Shaq is guest host tomorrow.

Chilli from TLC is here. No one cares.

Raw Women’s Title: Mickie James vs. Maryse

Make it quick please. Yeah as looks go, Mickie is way ahead of Maryse. The fans want puppies. And people wonder why this division is never taken seriously. The match is your standard slapfest of course. Maryse tries to use her perfume or whatever but gets stopped.

We’re in our second rest hold six minutes into the match. This just isn’t interesting at all. Cole almost says the name of the wrong title. There is simply no need to have two belts. If you had just one it could potentially work. Mickie hits her jumping DDT to get the title to next to no reaction.

Rating: D. People don’t care about women’s wrestling and that’s really all there is to it. It’s not nice but it’s true. This just wasn’t interesting at all. The buildup was Mickie has beaten the jobbers this month so she gets the title shot because she’s on a roll. That’s it. I’m looking forward to Michelle vs. Mickie as there’s an actual story to it. This didn’t and it was painfully obvious.

Legacy says they’re cementing their legacy.

We recap Mysterio vs. Ziggler which more or less is Ziggler has been winning a lot but doesn’t get the belt. This is his chance.

Intercontinental Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Dolph Ziggler

People kept talking about the potential that Dolph had but I’ve just never seen it. These fans seem to think that everything is boring and it’s getting on my nerves very quickly. This is seemingly going to be a rather long match with Ziggler getting to show off. That’s a good sign if nothing else. He’s showing some solid offense and he looks completely calm doing it. Also getting in some little plays to the crowd which is always a nice perk.

This was what the title needed: big names defending it and guys having longer solid matches for it. For years it was the wrestlers’ title and that’s what they tried to make it again which I would say was a success. As expected, Dolph dominates for most of the match but makes one minor mistake, in this case going for one too many moves and here comes the masked man. And then of course the 619 and the springboard splash ends it.

Rating: B. This was very fine indeed. They got to beat on each other for awhile and it did a few things. First of all it let Ziggler look good. He got to show off against a huge star in Mysterio. Second they had a great match that made the belt look good. Both guys came out of this looking great and that’s all you can ask for.

Ad for the tag team DVD which I’m about halfway though and need to finish up.

We recap Punk vs. Hardy, which started at Extreme Rules where Punk used the MITB case to get the belt then slowly turned heel. That led us here.

Smackdown World Title: CM Punk vs. Jeff Hardy

They really push the whole lifestyle thing here which is the smartest thing that they can do. They’re starting with a fast paced match that’s working rather well. These two had some great matches over the year and this was certainly one of them. Punk is so perfect as a heel and it’s working like a charm here. They’re going with high spots here which is something that Punk can do very well.

This wasn’t going to get a lot of time as it started at about 10:40, so the max was about 20 minutes. Oy it’s that referee with the hitch in his counts. This match felt like it didn’t have a beginning and we’re already at the end which isn’t good really, although the match is fine. We get a Dragon Sleeper of all things. Punk goes into that striking sequence he uses and Hardy ducks before hitting an RKO which is called a Twist of Fate here. Yeah that was dumb.

GTS hits and if the referee wasn’t incompetent, Punk would have won. Punk tries to leave and our hero doesn’t like that. In a rather anti-climactic moment he hits his usual finishing pair of moves and he gets his third world title. The celebration ends the show.

Rating: B-. I do not agree with the booking here at all. I was skeptical about the grade here but Ross saying let the Hardy Party begin sealed it. I don’t get Punk losing at all after the promo from earlier, but that’s life I guess as we can’t send kids home sad or they might only get three t-shirts this year instead of four. Either way this was pretty good although like I said it felt rushed which is because the show was running a bit low on time. I get why they cut it short. Still good though.

Overall Rating: B-. This was a pretty good show but not great. I really didn’t like the triple threat but I’d chalk that one up to a personal bias more than anything else. Other than that, the non-Diva matches were more or less all good which is all you can ask for. There’s nothing that jumps off the page as awesome, but at times you don’t need there to be. This was good enough for a watch but it’s not something you’ll want to see again. Check it out if you’re bored.

No Surrender 2010
Date: September 5, 2010
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Taz, Mike Tenay

The main thing tonight is the semi-final matches in the world title tournament. They should be good but the rest of the card seems a bit lackluster. It’s not bad but I just don’t really care about what I’m seeing here. Dreamer vs. AJ on PPV? Really? This should be ok though as TNA PPVs can often surprise you. Let’s get to it.

We open with shots of the four guys in the semi-finals getting here earlier in the day. The video is your standard let’s hear from all four guys and get their opinions on the tournament. Nothing special at all but the idea works.

Tag Titles: Generation Me vs. Motor City Machine Guns

Ok so apparently London Brawling isn’t here so this is your replacement. Shelley and Jeremy start us off with some very nifty mat work. Shelley is in shorts here which is a weird look on him. Taz implies the challengers have an attitude now, which probably means a heel turn. Apparently Generation Me are Christian athletes. Nothing wrong with that, but interesting that this comes up just around the time they turn heel.

The fans call them the Bucks of course because they have to be smart right? Oh wait that’s the last name of Gen Me here right? It is as we prove again how stupid the name Generation Me is. Young Bucks is hardly a bad name. Shelley with a reverse Boston Crab into a surfboard. They’ve both been in there the whole time and just as I say that Sabin comes in.

We crank it up as Max hits an INSANE backflip into a Diamond Cutter. Neckbreaker on Shelly on the apron and Shelly may have a bad neck now. It turns into a gymnastics routine, which is always fun if nothing else. These are perfect choices for openers as they’re very exciting and gets the crowd going. I’d prefer them in the middle of the show though as they can breathe life into the show later if things start to drag.

The ring looks a bit smaller than usual here for some reason. Sabin gets the hot tag and it’s on again. Springboard Tornado DDT gets two. Cue R-Truth’s opening line as this is the part where we crank it up. Sabin and Max slug it out in the ring and another tornado DDT is blocked. Gen Me kick the heck out of Shelley and set up for More Bang For Your Buck. In a very innovative counter, Jeremy goes for a superkick but Shelley grabs it and throws the foot into Max’s head. Skull and Bones end it clean.

Rating: B. Solid opener as always between these two. They know how to just make things exciting and fire up the crowd, which is always a great thing to see in the opener. The Guns are without a doubt the best team in the world today and highlight the division about as well as anyone can. Very fast paced match that has me wanting to see the rest of the show.

Post match Gen Me jumps the Guns and beat up Shelley and continue the focus on his neck, including an elevated DDT to the floor. We get an X thrown up from the referee for dramatic effect. Nice to see them as heels for once. Shelley walks off with some help.

Taz and Mike welcome us to the show, 25 minutes in. They run down the main points of the card, which we’ve already bought.

X Division Title: Sabu vs. Douglas Williams

They say that this is the only singles title match tonight, which means the TV Title still isn’t on the line, which is a good thing. These X Factor things are again annoying. We get all these things already but we need a Powerpoint presentation to tell us them again? The Bombay, Michigan thing always makes me chuckle. Williams out moves Sabu to start as Sabu isn’t sure what to do here.

He’s one of those guys that can be decent in the ring but when he gets bad he gets really bad. It depends on how insane he goes I guess. We start on the mat a lot which is a nice change of pace. Slingshot legdrop is kind of a slingshot double boot as it sets up the one arm camel clutch. That name always makes me chuckle.

A table is set up at ringside but we get into the ring before it can be used. The fans of course aren’t happy about us sticking to actual wrestling. Taz talks about his rivalry with Sabu, which is a good thing. I’ve long since thought Lawler needs to remind fans that he used to be a wrestler and even a world champion. Most young fans probably don’t know that and it probably would give him credibility.

Sabu brings in a chair but does nothing with it again. Triple jump moonsault is just barely ok as it gets two. Loud Sabu chant which will be validation to keep him around according to Dixie. We hit the mat again and Williams uses some insane spinning chinlock. This hasn’t been great but it’s no trainwreck at all. Sabu goes No Mercy with a springboard back elbow. Williams kicks the chair into Sabu’s balls and gets a gutwrench suplex for two.

Sabu goes for a big assisted dive but can’t quite get it so he just jumps, and I use that word loosely, over the top. Williams is put on the table but Sabu goes through it instead. Was there a point to that being in the match at all? I mean what did that add at all? Hebner tries to get rid of the chair, allowing a belt shot to the head of Sabu to make Williams retain. Well at least he kept the belt.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t bad really. It’s no classic or anything, but this was much better than I was expecting. Sabu didn’t go completely insane and as usual, it was far better that way. Williams definitely should have won and thankfully he did. This was definitely a passable match and a nice surprise in a way.

Anderson says he’s going to preach tonight and gets the crowd to say they’re jerks. I hate that gimmick.

Madison Rayne vs. Velvet Skye

Madison in leather is something I could get used to. Tara interferes almost immediately as we get an early sex based chant. Dang I hate this crowd at times. Rayne goes for the head of Skye to start as this isn’t as good as expected. Knees to the crotch of Madison makes Taz wonder if that would hurt.

Are there any Knockouts other than the BP and Tara? If there are they never appear on TV. Tara goes for the helmet but Love makes the save. And then Velvet just gets a DDT to get the win. It was as abrupt as it sounds.

Rating: D. This just didn’t do it for me. It was on the exact level as a Divas match with very little wrestling but then again who cares about that when you have the looks? That was only half sarcasm mind you. The division has more or less died over this year and it didn’t get any better here. Pretty bad match.

Hardy, who looks a little blue, says tonight is for RVD. Well of course it is.

Abyss vs. Rhyno

This is falls count anywhere. Rhyno hits a nice dive to take out Abyss and we head to the back. They fight out near the amusement park as Taz is talking about a corndog. I haven’t had one of those in forever. Back into the Impact Zone as it’s your standard one punch knocks you three feet match here. The man beats goes into a trash can to give Abyss control.

The fans want Janice, once again proving how annoying they can be as they cheer the heel. Back on the floor again as Rhyno throws Abyss through part of the stage, where he is followed by Rhyno. The fans chant WE CAN’T SEE, which is true actually. We cut to Tenay and Taz, as I’m guessing Abyss needed a Twinkie break or something. And here comes Rhyno through the other side of the stage.

That gets two for Abyss so he rips apart the guard rail. Rhyno avoids it and hits a running clothesline because the Gore wasn’t appropriate there I guess? The fans chant for Rhyno, showing how fickle they are. Gore misses and a chokeslam onto a trash can gets two. He gets Janice but a Gore puts him down. Naturally it gets two, proving that the Stevie Kick is more powerful than the Gore. Black Hole Slam only gets two which is a surprise. Rhyno gores the guard rail and a Black Hole Slam ends it.

Rating: D+. Just a run of the mill weapons based match. Rhyno kicking out of the first Slam and Abyss doing the same with the Gore were nice surprises but they got no talking or reaction at all. This wasn’t horrible, but at the same time this just didn’t do much for me. Decent little weapons match, but the falls count anywhere portion was pretty pointless at the end of the day.

We recap Jarrett/Joe vs. Nash/Sting. I still don’t get the point of Joe being in this but whatever. This is one of the aspects of the THEY storyline, which isn’t a good thing as it needs to be toned down, but whatever. That and political storylines rarely work in wrestling, so let’s keep doing them right? This video is like 4 minutes long for no apparent reason.

Samoa Joe/Jeff Jarrett vs. Sting/Kevin Nash

Hogan isn’t here again, once again proving his worth to the company. Nash and Sting have the Wolfpack music going here. Sting and Joe start as we talk more about the vague references to things. Taz talks about the politics, which are RIVETING, yes RIVETING I say, to the casual fan that doesn’t get that meaning. Sting in a TNA shirt just looks weird. Joes takes down Nash with a big running jumping kick.

Nash comes in as we talk about how there is no Impact this week. Great to know that on a PPV rather than the TV show but whatever. Nash hits the side slam which is one of my favorite moves. And now we talk about politics and behind the scenes stuff, which makes my head hurt. I watch wrestling for wrestling, not a political drama. Stinger Splash and Jarrett is in trouble.

The crowd cheers for Sting, yet again not getting the point of being fans. Double clothesline and Sting and Jarrett both go down. Hot tag to Joe and the cleaning of house begins. Jarrett gets the bat and pops Sting a few times to a semi-heel (as heel as you can get in TNA that is) and the Clutch from Joe ends it as Sting is out.

Rating: D+. Not bad here but too short to mean much. The idea is that Jarrett shouldn’t have used the bat but did anyway due to insanity or something like that. It’s more overdoing an angle which is the last three months in a nutshell. Yet again a lack of answers which will lead to them just saying the same things over and over again.

We talk about AJ vs. Dreamer, which is the idea of EV 2.0 vs. Fourtune. The video really shows how messed up this feud is as most fans are likely to agree with Fourtune rather than the ECW guys. At least I do.

AJ Styles vs. Tommy Dreamer

I Quit rules. AJ hides behind the ramp to jump Dreamer as he comes through the curtain. Not a bad idea I guess. Shame that it doesn’t work though and we’re off and running. Styles shouts that Dreamer sucks while Dreamer chokes him. Dreamer gets a seated full nelson as he goes No Mercy as well. This has been more or less all Tommy so far, which gives me hope for AJ.

Styles takes over and goes for a figure four on the ramp, but Dreamer pops him with one of the lights that he rips off the ramp. Well that’s different. Crossface with….something across AJ’s mouth doesn’t quite work. Running clothesline while Dreamer is up against the ring. I don’t get how this is worthy of being an I Quit match already but whatever. There goes the padding on the floor which is old school heel stuff here.

Styles Clash on the concrete is blocked and AJ is in trouble after a shoulderbreaker. The fans cheer both guys. Can we get them a lesson in fandom? Semi-Pillmanizer to AJ’s arm and then Dreamer wraps the arm around the chair. AJ pulls a fork out of nowhere and goes for Dreamer’s face, resulting in another crossface. We head to the floor for a bit as Dreamer wraps AJ’s arm around the railing. AJ wraps Dreamer’s ankle around the railing because he’s a copycat. This of course doesn’t work either as we head back into the ring.

Figure four goes on but Dreamer rolls over. Figure Four on the post as I wonder what the post actually adds to it. AJ is kind of obsessed with that hold as he uses it for the third time in like 2 minutes. Dreamer finds the fork AJ had earlier but a Pele sends him to the floor. Suicide dive but AJ jumps into a kendo stick shot. Dreamer gets a crossface with the kendo stick around AJ”s eyes, but it breaks before he quits.

AJ gets another fork (has he been chilling with Abdullah lately?) and apparently stabs Dreamer in the eye with it. A thumb in the eye and a fish hook hold on the mouth makes Dreamer quit. The ending looked great as they continue to try to make AJ a heel no matter what they do. Shame he still gets cheered because HE WRESTLES LIKE A FACE.

Rating: C+. Very brutal and violent match, but again was there a point to having the stipulation there other than to have violence? I know they want it to be like ECW but do they want it to be that aspect of it? I wouldn’t think so, but then again I’m not TNA thank goodness. This was ok, but it just got a bit out there near the end.

Angle says he’ll win.

TNA World Title Tournament – Semi-Finals: Kurt Angle vs. Jeff Hardy

Pope vs. Anderson goes on last? Really? Ah wait make sure we get Dixie a quick cameo. The fans are split here, which makes sense in this match at least. Long feeling out process to start which implies a long match. SICK powerbomb from Angle off a reversal but no cover. The fans think this is awesome three minutes in after one big move. They’re improving I suppose.

Angle is dominating for the most part here but Hardy keeps getting out. It’s rare to see a mostly face vs. face match but that doesn’t mean it’s bad. Angle with a reverse bearhug, which more or less equals sitting on the mat with a waistlock on Hardy. Slingshot dropkick misses first but not the second time. The fans of course tell Hardy that he screwed up because Heaven forbid he makes ONE mistake.

Belly to belly from Kurt as he still can throw one of those. Hardy gets a Stunner and Diamond Cutter which is of course called a Twist of Fate. How awesome is that running suplex that Angle does once in awhile? Angle slam sets up the ankle lock but Hardy gets out. Here are the Rolling Germans.

Moonsault and Whisper in the Wind both miss (as in there was no contact on the latter but Angle sold it anyway for two) so we head to the floor. Very solid match so far as they’re doing a slow build pace which is usually a good thing I think. Swanton hits Angle while he is on the floor so everyone is dead. Nice spot, drawing a Jesus Christmas line from Taz. Dixie is concerned and she looks like Morticia Adams.

Back in the ring and they slug it out. Kurt wins, getting a German before an awkward looking Frog Splash for two. The fans think this is awesome and for once they might have a point. It’s pretty good at least. After even more back and forth stuff, Angle takes two Swantons and manages to kick out.

A third gets knees and there’s the Angle Slam for two. We head to the floor again which lasts for about 4 seconds. Sorry for all the play by play but this is a very good match so it’s hard to make jokes. Ankle lock goes on forever (as in like a minute and a half), but Jeff doesn’t tap. There’s the bell, and it’s a time limit draw. There was no countdown or a time limit announced at the start of the match or anything, but what difference should that make?

Crowd COMPLETELY turns on this and boos the heck out of it. Cue Bischoff to add five more minutes. His ankle is dead though so there you go. Ankle lock goes on again but Jeff shakes it off. Naturally he’s mostly fine now and starts the comeback. Solid stuff again here as Jeff takes over.

So much for that as Kurt hits an Angle Slam off the top for two. I would have bet on that as being the ending. Hardy somehow sends him to the floor and Angle BARELY gets back in to avoid a count out. O’Connor Roll gets two and there’s a double clothesline. No pin though after Angle gets two at the very end so FIVE MORE MINUTES!

Ok is there a reason they just didn’t have one big long match? Jeff’s ankle is more or less done but Angle rams into the post. Angle is busted open after hitting the steps on the floor (allegedly). You know because there aren’t any steps in the ring so they had to be on the floor. Wow that was a stretch for a joke.

Hardy more or less puts on a Walls of Jericho and the blood is pouring out of Kurt’s head. Kurt reverses into the ankle lock but Jeff is in the ropes. Apparently being in the ropes for about 5 seconds doesn’t count anymore as Angle pulls him back to the middle of the ring and puts the ankle lock on for about 30 seconds but no tap.

Bischoff wants someone to look at Kurt’s head. This is pretty clearly filler as we need to spend time. Eric declares the match a no contest due to the cut. You have got to be kidding me. Also, do they really think Anderson vs. Pope is going to be able to follow this?

Rating: A-. Match was GREAT, booking is idiotic. This is a way to set up a triple threat or something (because they’re an alternative to WWE right?) like that. This was a great in ring performance though and one of Jeff’s best matches ever. This would be an A+ if not for the constant stoppages and the flat out stupid booking, but that’s TNA for you I guess: you have something great so you overbook it as much as they can.

Pope does a pretty stupid interview about enemas.

TNA World Title Tournament – Semi Finals: Mr. Anderson vs. D’Angelo Dinero

Shouldn’t this be for the title? They start on the mat as I wonder why this is on last. I guess so they didn’t have that idiotic ending end the show? Pope works on Anderson’s shoulder which plays into their feud, so there’s some continuity. I have a little trouble taking a match seriously when the fans all chant Anderson’s catchphrase. Anderson can’t really use the arm at the moment which is some nice selling.

Anderson works on Pope’s shoulder as this is a very slow paced match. Pope blocks a top rope suplex and Anderson goes to the floor. This has been pretty good but the slow pace is hurting it a bit. We hit the near falls aspect of the match and it’s still entertaining. Mic Check is blocked so Anderson hits it 2 seconds later for two. Crowd is pretty much dead mind you. DDE misses and Pope jumps into the Mic Check to end it. Anderson advances to the finals to fight….uh someone. Big F Bomb by Anderson after the match.

Rating: B. Pretty good match here with nothing notably bad and a totally clean ending which is nice. The crowd was just DEAD after the previous match though which is a bad thing and it hurt the match a bit. This was good though and much better than I expected from these two.

Overall Rating: B. Pretty solid show I thought. Nothing is really horrible other than the booking in the Angle/Hardy match. The matches all worked and have been built up to an extent on Impact. The PPVs are usually far better than Impact and this was no exception. With a great match in the first semi-final and some good stuff for the rest of the show, how can you really complain here? Solid show and I liked it FAR more than I expected to.

Impact Wrestling
Date: September 8, 2011
Location: Von Braun Center, Huntsville, Alabama
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

It’s week two in Alabama and it’s also the go home show for No Surrender. That being said, we only have most of the card so far and the world title match has only been announced on Facebook instead of, you know, on the TV show which the majority of the audience actually sees. The big thing tonight is the return of Jeff Hardy on the day that he was sentenced to ten days in jail on drug charges. The return speech could be very interesting. Let’s get to it.

We open with a video about Jeff Hardy and the mess that was Victory Road. He’s back tonight you know.

We also get a clip of last week where Hogan beat Sting up with a chair and cost him the world title. Anderson gets his rematch tonight.

Here’s Anderson to open the show. He talks about how he hasn’t had much to say the last few weeks because he’s been a man of action recently. He signed a deal with the devil though, and that was his own fault. Anderson welcomes the boos for it. The wide shots are really good to see here as there are actual people there instead of it looking like they’re in a lunchbox.

He turns his attention to Bully Ray for keeping him on the outside looking in. Anderson promises to be more annoying than ever before and tonight it starts with him going after Angle. Anderson brings up the dreaded rematch clause and he’s cashing in tonight. He knows it won’t be one on one and he points to the ramp. Here’s Sting to be Anderson’s backup. Sting says he’s like a fungus that won’t go away. This week he’s got the power of the Network and he’ll be the enforcer in the main event.

D-Von/D’Angelo Dinero vs. British Invasion

Winners get Mexican America on Sunday. No intro for the Brits. Magnus vs. D-Von to start. Off to Pope quickly who hammers away with elbows to the head. Williams comes in and slows things down a bit as you would expect from him. A clothesline gets two for Magnus. Mexican America are on commentatry. A middle rope elbow by Magnus gets two for Williams.

Pope fires off a DDT to Magnus and both guys are down. There’s the hot tag to D-Von who cleans house with right hands and power moves. Powerslam gets two on Williams. A Cactus Clothesline by Pope puts Williams on the floor and a release spinebuster by D-Von ends Magnus at 3:56. They seem fine despite almost always having problems.

Rating: C-. Just a quick match here but it wasn’t that bad. Didn’t D-Von not particularly like Pope last week though? Also this is the best they can do for #1 contenders? They’ve won a total of one tag match (this one) and now they get a title shot. That’s wrestling for you I suppose.

An MMA fighter comes in to see Angle.

The Final Four in the BFG Series are Gunner, Roode, Storm and Ray. The matches Sunday are Roode vs. Gunner and Storm vs. Ray. The guy with the most points after those matches go to the PPV. It’s not a tournament, it’s really a points system to go to the biggest show of the year.

All four finalists are in the ring and Ray gets JB out of there. He respects Beer Money but neither of them is going to Bound For Glory. Ray talks about how tag teams want to become great individual wrestlers and every team has done it. Gunner is a guy that is willing to put his personal desires aside and will make sure Ray goes to BFG to win the title. Wrestlers are selfish so Beer Money won’t lay down for each other.

Roode says he doesn’t buy any of what Ray said but they have their eyes set on the world title. They want to be world champion and Sunday only one can walk out #1 contender. Roode asks Ray who is going to be the better man. It’s going to be Roode or Storm because it’s not going to be Gunner or Ray. Roode promises the Beer Money fans that no one will ever split them and no one will ever kill Beer Money. There’s a fatal fourway later on.

We get a recap of Eric’s Hollywood Adventures.

TV Title: Robbie E vs. Eric Young

That MMA guy is on commentary again. What he has to do with this is beyond me but who cares. Robbie keeps trying to put his feet on the ropes for covers and the referee stops counting. And there go Eric’s pants and he’s wearing Jersey Shore style trunks. He hits the top rope elbow for two. A piledriver ends this at 2:51. I’m fine with these antics if the title is defended.

Rob Terry beats up Young post match with a Last Ride.

RVD is looking for Jerry Lynn and hey there he is. Rob gets in his face and Jerry asks what about him. He complains about having to get a real job instead of getting contracts like Rob did. Eric and Hulk called him and asked him about showing up and he said he’s better than Rob. He admits to screwing him and Rob beats him down.

Velvet talks to Mickie who has a dog with her. She mentions wanting to be champion someday. Karen comes in and complains about life in general, saying get rid of the dog. Winter gets her rematch at No Surrender.

Jeff Hardy is here.

TNA World Title: Mr. Anderson vs. Kurt Angle

Sting is guest enforcer. They exchange headlocks to start and it’s a tossup. Angle takes Anderson down with a clothesline and we hit the chinlock. They collide in the middle of the ring and both guys are down. They’re mirroring each other so far. Anderson tries to speed it up but gets caught in a belly to belly for two. Angle Slam is countered and Anderson hits the rolling fireman’s carry drop for two.

Kurt counters the Mic Check and hits the Rolling Germans for two. There go the straps and the ankle lock goes on. Anderson manages to roll through and get two before the Mic Check gets the same. The referee takes a thumb to the eye so Kurt kicks him low and hits the Slam but Sting pulls the referee out. Anderson hits another Mic Check but here’s Gunner for the DQ at 7:12.

Rating: C-. I wasn’t into this as it felt like they were just going through the motions to get to the DQ ending. I can’t stand matches like that because they’re boring and don’t show anything that these guys are capable of. Not a good match for the most part but when you handcuff them like this there’s only so much they can do.

Immortal beats down both guys post match. The fans chant for Hardy but that gets them nowhere.

Immortal is celebrating while Eric is on the phone and doesn’t look happy. He tells them to go outside and isn’t happy with what he hears. He’s almost freaking out about it, asking if it’s a prank call. No idea what it is.

Mickie James/Velvet Sky vs. Angelina Love/Winter

Winter vs. Velvet to start but it’s off to Mickie vs. Angelina before there’s any contact at all. Mickie snaps off a rana out of the corner but a Winter distraction results in a kick to the ribs. Velvet gets a blind tag to come in and a low dropkick gets two. There’s a weak monkey flip and she takes both Winter and Angelina down with a headlock/headscissors combo. Love cheats again and Velvet gets beaten down for awhile. After a long beatdown she makes the hot tag to Mickie and we get the title match preview. With the big hulabaloo going on, Winter sprays blood into Mickie’s face at 5:10 for the pin.

Rating: D+. Love is so skinny it’s getting scary. Other than that, this was your typical Knockout tag: it’s not bad but it’s better than the Divas which is the entire point. I’m still not sure why they gave Mickie the title back already and I hope they don’t give it to Winter again on Sunday because it would be pretty stupid to have the change that fast. This wasn’t terrible though.

Here’s Austin Aries to say he’s going to win the title Sunday. He tells the fans to shut up a lot so clearly he’s not a nice person. Aries calls Kendrick a hypocrite and calls out Kendrick here and now. Here’s the champ in a suit with a briefacse. He talks about being tired of being a social outcast and wants to be a success, like Aries. “I’m even wearing shoes!” And yeah he hates them. He goes into a bit rant about how he needs to be free to reach his mother earth and quotes Buddha a bit. Kendrick calls the title materialistic and Aries insults him a lot. The brawl is on and Aries runs.

Hogan is freaking in a good way and Eric is still upset. He talks about going to the beach and Eric says we’re not done yet. The Network isn’t happy. Because of the beating that Hogan is so happy about there’s a three way for the title at No Surrender with Angle vs. Sting vs. Anderson.

James Storm vs. Robert Roode vs. Gunner vs. Bully Ray

One fall to a finish here. It’s tornado rules too. Here’s Joe almost immediately and here’s Morgan just as fast to stop him. Morgan vs. Joe on Sunday also. Ray and Storm stand tall for a bit until Ray runs Storm over. Beer Money cleans house and teases going at it until Ray breaks that up. Gunner goes for a cover and Ray isn’t happy with it. A big clothesline gets two on Roode.

Storm comes back in with a top rope cross body and beats up Gunner a bit. Roode hammers on Gunner and hits the spinebuster for two. Beer Money teases it again but instead they suplex Gunner and SHOUT THEIR NAMES. Ray runs them both over and takes them both out with power stuff. Gunner hits a running knee to Ray’s head for the pin at 5:00. That was nice as he was left in the background and then stole the pin.

Rating: C. This was ok but it was nothing great. I wish this had been the way the BFG Final went at the PPV because it would make more sense but I guess they need to flesh out the card more and have some overly complicated rules. Not bad here and Gunner winning was a nice surprise also. Nothing great but not bad.

Here’s Jeff with like two minutes left. He talks about how he was messed up last time and he’s sorry about it. He had a problem and hit rock bottom there. Everyone is mad at him and he can’t blame them. His eyes look decent at least. He wants one more shot. The fans chant one more shot. He says all he can do is ask and that’s it.

Overall Rating: B-. Pretty good show this week but you can see a lot of problems. For one thing we got three title matches added with three days left before the PPV, one of which is the main event. That’s a match that could draw in some people and they’re adding it in at the last minute. The Hardy thing is too early to tell but my initial instinct is not to trust him, which is partially the point and all of the problem. Good show this week but No Surrender feels thrown together and that’s not good.

Results

D-Von/D’Angelo Dinero b. British Invasion – Spinebuster to Williams

Eric Young b. Robbie E – Piledriver

Mr. Anderson b. Kurt Angle via DQ when Gunner interfered

Winter/Angelina Love b. Mickie James/Velvet Sky – Winter spit blood in James’ face

Gunner b. James Storm, Robert Roode and Bully Ray – Running knee to Ray

Summerslam 2009
Date: August 23, 2009
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 17,129
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Todd Grisham, Matt Striker, Josh Matthews

With another year under our belts since the previous Summerslam, our main feuds are Cena and Orton and Punk (woo!) and Hardy. As many of you may likely know, this very well could be Hardy’s last match with the company. Our other big deal is the return (again) of DX, this time facing Legacy.

While a lot of people have criticized this, the segment that they had on Raw was excellent in my eyes. Shawn is a guy that can just come from nowhere and have a great match. The card actually looks pretty freaking sweet tonight. That doesn’t mean it’ll be good, but let’s get to this.

I liked the Summerslam logo this year. It looked a bit old school. The intro is hijacked by DX doing shadow puppets, but they freeze it on Legacy. Apparently this was the kiss cam and Cody loves Ted. Ted says ditto. So he loves himself I guess?

Anyway, they have some shenanigans going on which are kind of funny. I like the DX comedy sometimes. It’s not going to be the 90s version, so why compare it to that? It was fairly funny, involving DX breaking the feed of the intro and Shawn trying to fix it. It’s better than it sounds.

JR does the opening alone. That’s just odd. I like Aerosmith though so I’m not complaining about the music. As has become the custom, no buildup for the first match.

Intercontinental Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Dolph Ziggler

I’m quite surprised this is opening. This is a rematch from NOC as well, which allegedly was brought on by Rey simply whining about not having a long enough reign yet. Based on that, I think the title change is coming here but odder things have happened before. They had a great match last month so I’m assuming this will be good too. Ziggler is growing on me, but I have a hard time getting on Kerwin White.

Rey comes out first. Why? He’s the champion. Now we get Grisham to talk so that’s an improvement I guess. I like the purple and gold on him. It’s almost reminiscent of his WCW days but not quite. I miss the big semi-circle video screen that they used to have for Summerslam. Ross forgot Ziggler’s first name. How dare he forget the real name of Ivan Drago? Ziggler’s music is awesome. How did Kerwin White actually keep a job this long?

Just goes to show you that you can’t make fun of wrestlers when they have horrible gimmicks. Other than Santino of course. He will always suck. The graphic of the belt looks very cool for some reason. Wow the IC belt is actually opening the show. That’s an odd thing to think of. Ziggler is freaking ripped. I’m getting close, dangerously close actually, to liking this guy.

Love that quick powerslam that’s done coming off of the ropes. It just looks awesome. Ok, that moonsault was SWEET. Rey doesn’t do his old style often, but when he does it’s freaking amazing. Ziggler has leopard print gloves. That’s either really stupid or really awesome. That was a pretty weak corner powerbomb. I guess Rey’s size makes up for it. This has been pretty hard hitting so far. What more can you ask for?

Apparently Rey makes a habit out of getting people in the corner and drop toe holding them. Yeah I’ve never seen him do that in the corner either. Thank you JR. Dolph just kills him with a clothesline afterwards. That looked awesome. He used a Stinger Splash. He has to be cool. Sick looking head bump on the post from it too. Rey goes for a springboard reverse crossbody but Dolph hits a perfect dropkick to the ribs. That was sweet.

This is a very good match. And there it is. We have our stupid way to get into position for the 619. My only criticism of Dolph is his offense is a bit basic. If he upgrades that he’ll be very good. He’s rocking the bad Mr. Perfect haircut though, so I’m not wild about that either. I kind of like the white ropes, but I’m not sure.

Ziggler finally avoids the springboard splash in the most basic way of all: he sits up. Why is that so complicated for some people? The fans are chanting for Ziggler here, which is surprising but also good I guess. Rey gets a hurricanrana from the top to win and keep the title in a very good match.

Rating: A-. This was a GREAT opener. It was fast paced, it was solid, and the face won. I’m hyped for the rest of the show and it’s 330 in the morning. That’s exactly what an opening match is supposed to be. See how effective the IC belt can be when it’s not being used in bad comedy angles? Ziggler looks awesome here which is all you can ask for. See what they do on Smackdown? They have the veterans make the young guys look good. That’s how you keep the future going people.

Josh is in the back with Swagger and MVP who say that tonight there’s a culture clash. Both are solid on the mic here, but Swagger impresses me a lot more. He’s got the heel character down to a T and the cockiness is perfect. MVP is good, but not as good. Also, he talks about how Swagger has this great background and was a rich kid. Ok, that’s fine, but he still won with athleticism in the NCAA. Swagger won this promo war with ease and he’s making the DDP two time two time thing better.

King and Lawler say nothing of importance.

Jack Swagger vs. MVP

My goodness…could it be? I mean, it’s impossible isn’t it? This couldn’t be…a regular non-title midcard match? I…I think it is! Now, can you find anyone that actually thinks MVP has a chance? His face turn has been a complete disaster as he’s just cut out to be the cocky heel. Go back to it already. After those promos, I’m looking forward to this. The opening 25 minutes to this has been pretty sweet so far.

MVP goes for the Ballin Elbow about 19 seconds into this, but because it takes longer than that to set it up, it doesn’t work. I don’t get why these two are having this match anyway, since Swagger pinned him clean already on Raw. This is a very slow paced match and the fans aren’t liking it that much. They’re way behind the face though as he’s in the Monsoon Special, which I’m sure Gorilla would find something wrong with.

Looking at it, it is pretty sloppy. Sick clothesline stops MVP’s comeback though. Into a half camel clutch which wouldn’t actually hurt but now it’s full. At least Swagger knows how to hurt people. Ok, Swagger gets knocked down and MVP sets up for the Ballin Elbow. I timed him on this: SIXTEEN SECONDS from the time that he got in position to the time it connected. That’s over 5 pins. Seriously, could you not just cover the guy in that amount of time?

They fight a bit more…and MVP wins clean with the playmaker? What the heck? MVP actually won this thing and he did it clean. How in the world did that happen? I’m genuinely surprised by that, and I don’t think it’s in a good way. AGAIN they mention the chick from The View. WE GET IT!

Rating: C. This was fine, but short and surprising. It certainly wasn’t bad, but at just 6 and a half minutes they didn’t have the time to get anything going. There were some bad spots in there too where it was just flat out boring, but luckily they were quick. Again, not bad, but it’s really nothing special. It felt like a Raw match.

Don’t try this at home. Good advice actually.

Luke Perry is here. I don’t care.

We get a recap of the guest hosting thing, which I think has gone well. ZZ Top was awful but other than that, I think it’s gone well. I still want to murder Dr. Ken though. It’s worked for one simple reason in my eyes: for the most part, they’ve gotten people that either have a ton of charisma or seem like legit WWE fans. That’s all you can ask for really.

Nancy O’Dell reads off a script about her charity. Yeah that’s fine. It’s for ALS, aka Lou Gehrig’s Disease. She talks to people like Freddie Prinze Jr…and that’s it. She’s apparently going to host Raw in the future. I’ll be reading something that night. She’s very annoying.

Tag Titles: Big Show/Jericho vs. Cryme Tyme

Speaking of annoying, I don’t like the champion’s new music. This has actually been built up pretty well I’d think, with Show being the partner to replace Edge when he got hurt. It seemed to me that was a last second decision, but whatever. Cryme Tyme is one of the oddest teams I can ever remember. They’ve never actually done anything, so maybe they will here. I’m not holding my breath though.

Actually, this match has gotten the third most build, which isn’t what I expected. However, I’m certainly glad to see a tag title match getting this kind of TV time. It’s what the belts really need. Again the champions come out first. Jericho runs down celebrities in general. Isn’t he a celebrity as well? Oh apparently he’s a superstar, which isn’t a celebrity. That…doesn’t make a lot of sense.

For the second time in 2 minutes we hear that they have over 40 titles between them. Show looks like he’s losing a bit of weight. That’s a good thing. Cryme Tyme interrupts Show’s promo. Remember what I said about the show being good so far? They just ruined it. They’re just freaking annoying to say the least. What have they ever actually accomplished? Oh yeah they got fired for being annoying.

JR makes another reference that no one gets. There’s no way that the faces are winning here, due to reasons of suck, but maybe at least we can get a decent match out of it. Yeah that’s not going to happen I don’t think. Jericho goes for the walls but instead goes for a slingshot. JTG just kind of jumps on him, which looks sloppy and stupid as usual. Grisham says that they’re trying to turn Hollywood into Holly-hood. Take me now.

JTG has to stay in there longer than he should simply because Shad sucks. He’s a beast as far as his look goes though, and he’s able to stand up to Show in the size department. Yeah he’s a lot better on defense. Show is freaking scary to say the least. Jericho whispers a spot to Shad which looks really bad. It’s never good when it’s on a major PPV and a veteran has to carry a team that’s been around as long as Cryme Tyme has been.

I think that’s my real issue with them: they’ve been around for a good few years and they just never get any better. The full nelson is applied, and of course we have the eternal question: WHO WAS NELSON? Maybe Babyface Nelson? Anybody? Anybody? I’ll be here all night. Jericho puts another hold on him, which makes sense because it’s really all Shad can do: get put in holds and sit there. It’s a scary thing when JTG is the bright spot of the team. Yeah this team is awful.

Jericho gets him in the Walls, and amazingly, he doesn’t tap. Seriously, can they bury this move any more than they already have? It’s just stupid how it doesn’t work on anyone at all anymore. When’s the last time someone tapped to it? Anyway, Show hits the punch for the knockout and Jericho gets the glory.

I’m really starting to like this team dynamic as Jericho does all the talking but Show wins the matches for them. At the very end of the segment, Ross mentions Big Show is undefeated at Summerslam. See, that is an interesting stat, and it would have been a lot more interesting at the beginning of the match.

Rating: D+. Yeah this was boring. Shad is just flat out awful, and JTG is just ok. The only reason they get over is their gimmick and nothing more. That’s just flat out boring in all aspects and nothing good comes of it. I can’t stand them and there was just nothing they could do here to make this interesting at all.

Ad for Breaking Point. Interesting concept, but I’m not sold on it. The main events only thing makes me feel better though.

Josh is with Punk who says a movie script he found called the Jeff Hardy story. He runs down LA and the lifestyle there and elsewhere, which yet again, rings amazingly true on so many levels. Every single thing that Punk has said in his promos has been true, and it’s amazing to say the least.

Kane vs. Great Khali

Again, no transition at all. I like Kane’s music here. Once Kane is in the ring, we actually get a long recap, which could have gone…I don’t know, before his entrance so it’s not him just standing there in the ring? This is an intriguing match to me as they’ve had a fairly long build with no official match. That’s a nice plus for a change as it gives this a bit more of a build. Now, if they manage to have a passable match, then we have proof that HBK/God vs. the McMahons was indeed a tag team match.

The reveal of Singh as Khali’s brother was pretty boring but it gives it a bit of a reason for being around Khali so much. Hopefully, this will be short and painless, but I’m not betting on that. JR mentions that Kane is on a four match winning streak at Summerslam. See? That’s another interesting stat and it makes you wonder if he can extend it here tonight. It’s small, but it adds a tiny bit more to the match and might get people more interested in it.

That’s what a commentator is supposed to do: offer insight. When you watch a DVD and listen to a special commentary, you’re listening for insights, maybe some numbers or stories that you wouldn’t know otherwise. That’s what wrestling commentators are supposed to do, but it so rarely happens which is a shame. JR says it’s a bowling shoe match, meaning we’re sorry that this is going to suck so badly.

A lot of this is just Khali showing off how strong he is, which is fine I guess, but I’d like more action. Khali misses a bad looking legdrop and then just sits there. He doesn’t sell anything or anything like that, but just sits there for the low dropkick. Kane apparently sees evil and likes it. I guess that’s why See No Evil sucked: Kane just wasn’t motivated. They fight over their respective chokeslams but that goes nowhere. Oh this is bad. It’s just so freaking sloppy.

To be fair though, what do you expect from two monsters like these? Khali with a sick sounding chop. The top rope clothesline puts Khali down and gets two. He doesn’t really kick out but it’s implied his shoulder was up. JR brings up an interesting point: if Khali quit in his language, would the referee understand it? Amazingly, the Khali chop isn’t enough for a pin. Geez Khali’s hands are freaking massive.

Kane hits a running dropkick to the knee and a running DDT for the win. That finish was kind of awesome actually. I love that Kane didn’t use a bad chokeslam to win it. That’s what I want to see more of in the WWE today: wrestlers winning with moves other than their finishers. It’s not really that hard to do and it works very well I think. Do it more often.

Rating: D+. Oy this was bad indeed. It was very sloppy, but the ending made it a lot better. Also, it was less than 6 minutes. See, that’s intelligent booking. You know these two aren’t going to have a great match, so keep it short. That makes a lot of sense and it made things a lot better than they could have been.

Some hot woman from a talk show is here. Slash is here too, so it’s closer to making me care. Robert Patrick is here.

We hit the recap button on DX vs. Legacy. This one is pretty short. HHH kept getting his head kicked in by them so he said he’d make one phone call. It wound up being about three but he eventually found Shawn as a cook in a diner in San Antonio, in what I thought was a very funny segment. This was followed up by Legacy actually beating them down in a run in on Raw a few days prior to this which at least made this look possible.

Oddly, the stuff about him being a cook is completely omitted from the recap video. What we do get though is a bunch of clips from some of their old exploits which have absolutely nothing to do with this feud or match. For some reason people were hoping that X-Pac or someone like that would return. People, the old DX is dead. All you’re going to get is these two buffoons, so be happy with it and let go of the past already.

Also, this really isn’t as bad as people make it out to be. They’re going to have decent matches and it’s going to help Legacy look legit if they win a single match, which is a good thing. DX can do whatever they like out there and they’re going to get cheered. What else can you ask for out of them really? It’s HHH against someone not named Orton. Be happy.

DX vs. Legacy

Now this is for some reason considered one of the main events. Why? What makes this one of the big matches? Yes, Shawn is back, but when HHH returned against Booker in 2007 it was a midcard match and that was fine. I get that it’s the third biggest match by default, but that doesn’t mean it should be. I’d put the tag titles above this as they’ve had far more build, but whatever. Anyway, let’s get to this.

Ok, I’ve heard great things about the DX intro, and I’ll admit, it was awesome. Basically, it’s an army theme with a bunch of troops coming out in a jeep and firing off guns. Then the stage splits apart and DX comes out on a tank, launching of a bunch of fireworks. The fans are WAY into it and it’s cool. Everything is loud and big here and the crowd is screaming. That’s what you’re looking for here. The fans are the most important thing at the end of the day and they’re loving this.

Screw the people that think the return of DX was stupid. It’s cool and it’s working. The glow sticks are a cool idea too and I’m surprised it took this long for them to be invented. It takes about 5 minutes, but so what? The reaction was awesome, so rock on. Legacy is the evil opponent here, but they have some sweet music. It’s not as great as their 39th song, but it’s better than theme 341B. The announcers point out that this is a huge chance for Legacy and they’re absolutely right.

DX is a team of two hall of fame members, and Legacy are young guys. This is their chance, so hopefully they don’t get crushed. Naturally, HHH starts going strong which makes sense as he’s the face, so why wouldn’t he be in control at first? Oh apparently the right knee of HHH is his vintage knee. That’s good to know. Shawn gets tagged in to a big pop. Apparently the fans think something of this guy.

He does a cool spot where he fakes Cody out when Cody goes for a leapfrog but Shawn gets slapped. That was stupid don’t you think? There’s the return slap that you knew was coming. Legacy is controlling the match. That’s a lot more than I expected them to do actually. HHH is in now and not dominating. This is being worked slowly towards a big ending. That’s a truly lost art in tag team wrestling today.

I’m liking this: DX gets momentum and Legacy keeps stopping them. See, this is how you build a tag team: you let them look good. That’s what veterans are supposed to do: make young guys look good. DiBiase uses a chin lock. Good to see those Orton lessons paying off. It amuses me that as a tag team, Legacy is light years more successful than DX has been. Legacy is I think 3 time tag champions?

DX has definitely never won a tag title. What does that tell you? Lawler says this isn’t what DX had in mind. Yeah they were looking for some Chinese Checkers. Legacy is doing a great job here of keeping HHH in the ring. That’s very old school and it’s working quite well here. We get the boo yay punching sequence which I always kind of hate. Shawn gets the tag in. Cody goes for the Shawn elbow, which apparently is him stealing the move.

I love how they make no issue of Shawn stealing it from Savage who was winning world titles with it before Shawn debuted in the WWF. DX is actually in trouble here and the announcers are putting them over huge, which is all you can ask for. The crowd starts wooing as Shawn puts on a figure four. Cody hits Crossroads on Shawn, which is actually a pretty good name for his finishing move I guess. Rhodes takes a Pedigree as Shawn takes Dream Street.

Dang I actually couldn’t tell Legacy apart there. That’s not a good sign at all. In one of the fastest endings I’ve ever seen, Shawn hits Sweet at least 4 inches from Cody’s Chin Music for the pin. Yeah that wasn’t even close. Literally they were both just standing up and leaning on each other then Shawn took a step back and kicked. Yeah he missed but maybe the air knocked Cody down?

Rating: A. This was a great tag team match for many reasons, but the big one was that Legacy was made to look legit. This wasn’t like when DX dismantled the Spirit Squad week in and week out. Legacy had me believing that the upset was indeed possible. DX made them look good here in a very good 20 minute match. DX should have won, but they won the right way here. That was by far Legacy’s biggest and best match ever, and they brought their best. I’m impressed with both teams.

Ad for the WM 25 special on Saturday which is going to bomb.

ECW Title: Christian vs. William Regal

Not a ton of backstory here. One night on the Abraham Washington Show, a talk show segment on ECW, Regal was simply announced as the #1 contender. 5 days prior to this, he hooked up with Kozlov and Ezekiel Jackson to form a trio with the only real thing in common being that they’re heels. This should be ok I guess. I still have no clue what the massive appeal of Christian is, although he’s had some decent matches lately.

I feel so sorry for the ECW announcers. Literally, we haven’t heard their voices until now, an hour and 40 minutes into the show. Also, yet again the champion comes out first. That’s just odd. Regal comes out with his two big henchmen.

Jackson’s heel turn was just odd as he was a face for all of two weeks and he was never an actual face at that. All that being said, it’s a 10 second match. Regal gets hit with the Killswitch and is out. Jackson and Kozlov are you beaters tonight. I prefer the Weasleys, but that’s just me. They half kill him here as the name Regal’s Roundtable is used. I like that…kind of.

Rating: N/A. Regal doesn’t belong on a major show like this, so I have no issues here at all. I’ve heard a lot of people complaining about how this was a disgrace and what not like that. Bull, this was great. Number one, the exact same thing happened last year as the ECW Title match got 33 seconds. Number two, this got the people’s attention and it made them believe that a match could end at any time.

That’s one of the major evils in WWE right now: there’s no point to watch the first 10-15 minutes of a world title match as it’s always going to go longer than that. Here you have a match where if you turn around to pet your cat the match is over. That’s brilliant. Number three, there was no build at all here. This gives you something to further the angle so you can have a rematch next month. Number four, people are talking about this now.

Isn’t that the point of any match? Number five, EVERYONE knew Christian was retaining here. How awesome does this make him look as champion? He beat an established veteran that fast with one move. This was a stroke of genius, not a disgrace.

They air some video about some F list celebrities and a charity event the roster was at. I won’t make fun of charity events, ever.

Let’s thank Aerosmith for our pointless theme song.

We get something resembling a recap of last Monday where they were tag partners. Cole says that Orton showed his true colors by attacking Orton after the match. EXCUSE ME? HE IS A FREAKING HEEL! HE NEVER WANTED TO BE IN THE TEAM IN THE FIRST PLACE! How is he showing his true colors by doing what he’s done the whole time? My goodness Cole does it cost you money to think or something?

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Randy Orton

Well, at least it’s not HHH again. Basically, it’s pretty simple. Cena won the beat the clock thing to get here, and no one is surprised at all. In a rematch from two years ago, let’s do this. Cena runs to the ring which is kind of odd indeed. He gives his hat to his Marine co-star. Great way to get over with the kids there Johnny Boy. Orton comes out to a chorus of mostly boos. Why does the title graphic spin when the belt itself doesn’t?

My goodness I love the big fight introductions. They just work on all levels. After those, we get our recaps. Yeah that’s actually a bit better. It doesn’t waste as much time. They start off on the mat which actually goes pretty well. That’s something you rarely see from these two and while they’re hardly Kurt Angle, that was pretty good. Orton puts Cena down for awhile and when Cena is trying to get back up, it really looks like he’s trying to give Orton head through the tights.

I know that’s said a lot, but this is the closest it’s ever gotten. Orton takes FOREVER to drop a knee which looks like he’s going for a splash. It’s a new move, so of course it’s vintage. I have no problem when it’s actually a vintage move: HBK’s forearm, the facebuster by HHH, Old School etc. However, a move by Orton that he’s bene using for a few months at most? Give me a break. It’s a misuse of the word and insulting to my intelligence.

Cena hits You Can’t See Me, even though I can see him the entire time. This match is FLYING by. It feels like there was no intro or build and we’re already in the middle of it. That’s not good. FU doesn’t go and Orton hits a powerslam, called a scoop slam by Cole, to get back in control. They flat out say the WWE Title is the more valuable title. At least they admit it. Orton goes for the same knee and this time Cena gets out of the way. At least he’s intelligent.

I really don’t like this referee. He has that hitch in his count and it’s just aggravating. Orton hits that elevated DDT which I love as it’s a move that the ropes actually make better. Orton’s eyes really are great when he’s setting for the RKO. Facial expressions can make or break a match. Edge, Orton and Punk are some of the best there are at it. Punt misses and Cena hits the throwback. He hits the top rope legdrop about as well as he ever has, which is to say he actually connected with it.

Apparently Cena throwing his hands up and jumping up and down means FU now. It’s double clothesline time to make this a bit boring. Why is it only on a double clothesline that they’re devastating moves and not something that the guy pops up from? The fans seem confused as to who to cheer for. Orton shoves the referee, rolls to the floor and grabs his belt and leaves.

I say that as Lillian is on screen making me think I should rephrase that, but at the same time maybe I shouldn’t. Within seconds, she’s received word from Vince…but she trails off. She then announces Orton as the new champion, when she was supposed to say still champion. That’s a major mistake and I think it’s because they blew the spot and tried to do too much at once.

Cole tries to cover as fast as he can, and NOW we get the orders right as Vince has said that if Orton gets disqualified Cena wins the belt. More on that later. So the match is restarted and Cena is dominating. Orton goes to the floor and asks for the belt, which is dropped at first, and then he walks to the back saying that he’s done.

Ok, now we’re restarting it AGAIN, and now if he gets counted out we have a new champion. Ok, how in the HECK did she get word that fast? Both finishers are teased but Orton gets a roll up with his feet on the ropes to steal it.

OR DOES HE?

Another referee comes out and says that Orton has his feet on the ropes, so the original referee says this doesn’t count. Ok wait, back up. What about all the times when it’s said that the referee’s decision is final? If that’s the case, then one of two things should happen. #1, no match can end until the referee has had a chance to go back and rewatch the match, or #2, no decision is ever final since if the referee’s decision is final, then he could in theory go back and reverse it at anytime.

In other words, if the referee can reverse his own final decision, then couldn’t a referee go back and reverse something from years ago? If he has final say I don’t see why not. Guess what? It’s another restart. Best sign of the year: This is Why I Watch Smackdown. Preach it brother. STFU is put on and we get the rapidly becoming infamous moment as a “fan” (it’s Ted DiBiase’s brother Brett but that’s not revealed until tomorrow night) jumps into the ring.

Ok, reasons why this is clearly fake. #1, everything stops. In a real situation like this they just keep going. #2, they put the camera on the guy. That makes it fake as whenever this happens, the cameras go off and you can see the fans all watching the guy. #3, they talk about it. That NEVER happens.

#4, and most important of all, given the fact that the match has been restarted 3 times now, do you really expect this to be real? That was my biggest reason. It’s too unrealistic (and that’s saying a lot given this match) for it to have not been planned. Orton hits a quick RKO for the pin.

Rating: B-. For this rating, I’m factoring out all the insanity and I’ll explain why in just a second. Without all that stuff, this was a bad match. It was boring, it was very rushed, and it just wasn’t entertaining. However, I blame a lot of that on the booking, which is what killed this for me. The rating is fairly up there because a lot of the rhythm was taken away by stupid booking. Lillian messed up her lines, and that’s fine.

She had three freaking sets of them. This match suffered horribly from being overbooked. Why do you need the three restarts if you’re going to do the fan thing? Do one or the other, not four things. It’s too confusing, it takes too long, and it’s just stupid by the end. The fan run in thing would have been fine and actually pretty creative if not for the other three restarts.

Why do you need to have so much stuff in the world title match? It makes things look silly to me and it just makes thing far more complicated than they need to be. The match was bad, but the grade will be high because I think a lot of what was bad was based on the booking of the match and not what the wrestlers were doing. In essence, they had to remember four finishes. That’s asking too much of any wrestler and I think it had a lot to do with them not being that on here.

We recap the Punk/Hardy feud, which has been AWESOME.

Smackdown World Title: CM Punk vs. Jeff Hardy

This has been one of the best feuds in recent memory for a few reasons. One, it’s Punk at his best. Two, the clash is so natural that it’s great. Three, the matches have been great. It’s possible Hardy is done after this, so I’d expect a new champion. Punk lost the title to Hardy at Night of Champions in what I would call an odd choice after Punk delivered one of the best promos I’ve ever heard that had me cheering in my room.

Anyway, this is a TLC match, which actually plays into the two time MITB winner’s hands I’d think. Thankfully this has gone on last. Other than some lines from Ross about how Hardy is addicted to adrenaline, it’s a standard hard hitting spotfest that you’ve grown to know and accept in these places. Hardy has some mixed reactions here as I think it’s gotten out that he’s gone. Do announcers not pay attention?

Why are all ladders the biggest they’ve ever seen? Did you know Jeff is like smoke being poured through a keyhole? I’m not sure if you caught it the first 10,000 times Ross has said it. Yep and there it is the major spot, as Hardy, for about the fourth time in his career, goes to the huge ladder and hits the super swanton. Yeah it looks cool, but dang we’ve seen it way too many times. Why didn’t Punk move either?

He wasn’t tied down and it took Hardy longer than it takes him to smoke a bowl to get up there. More commentary problems as this is going on too. Hey, in case you didn’t see it, here’s 15 replays. Hardy is being taken out on a stretcher. I guess that’s how they’re ending him? Yeah that’s…different I guess. While this is happening, Punk starts climbing. Hardy pops up to go after him though.

I love the powers of recuperation that wrestlers have. Punk is hopping up the ladder and it’s just hysterical looking. He looks like a rabbit. Hardy takes a straight fall down off the ladder as Punk takes the belt to end the show. Sweetness indeed. The announcers of course try to make this out to be completely epic. JR sounds like he’s ordering dinner. Way to show emotion there buddy. No wonder you’re in the Hall of Fame.

Before we go though, the gong rings. Taker pops up from under the ring and chokeslams Punk, who is somehow STILL not being respected as champion. Yeah I don’t like this. Match was good though. Post match, a gong strikes. Taker pops up from under the ring and chokeslams the new champion to end the show.

Rating: A. This was a great match and a great way to end the show. It wasn’t complicated like the last show and to me shows why Smackdown is way ahead of Raw right now. This wasn’t all drama and over the top stuff. Sure it was a gimmick match, but it was about the match and not some big screwjob.

At the end of the day, the best way to get over and have a good match/feud is to have good action, not good stories. The last two matches are a classic example of that, and Smackdown did it right while Raw failed.

Overall Rating: A-. This was a VERY good show. It’s not great, but it’s close. The worst match of the night is Kane/Khali, but it’s at least watchable. They kept it short which was smart. The tag title wasn’t much but they kept JTG in there for the majority of the time which is certainly the right thing to do.

Other than that and the STUPID booking for the Raw title match, I really liked this show for one reason: it was about the in ring stuff. That’s the solution to any wrestling company’s problem. At the end of the day, have good matches and the fans will be happy. The matches were good and I’m very pleased with this show and it gets a big recommendation.