Impact Wrestling – December 22, 2016 (Best of 2016): This is TNA’s New Low

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Date: December 22, 2016
Host: Josh Matthews

We open with about two minutes of the main event of Slammiversary 2016 with Lashley winning the World Title from Drew Galloway, five minutes of Lashley vs. Eddie Edwards from Impact, July 21 and four minutes of Lashley vs. James Storm from August 11. Lashley won all three matches.

On March 8, Angle gave his farewell speech where he talked about how much better of a person he is because of TNA.

On March 15, Drew Galloway cashed in his Feast or Fired briefcase to win the World Title from Matt Hardy in 18 seconds.

TNA World Title: Drew Galloway vs. Jeff Hardy

Hardy is challenging and gets a headlock takeover out of the corner to take over early. Drew comes back with an overhead belly to belly and Hardy is already in trouble. The champ is sent outside for a dive from Hardy and we take a break. Back with Jeff getting two off a Twist of Fate but taking too much time going up and getting superplexed down.

On April 5, Drew successfully defended the title against Matt Hardy.

We see some of her acceptance speech and about 45 seconds of her winning the Knockouts Title for s sixth time at Bound For Glory.

TNA World Title: Ethan Carter III vs. Matt Hardy

Now we look at some debuts, including Mike Bennett/Maria, Aron Rex, Moose, Cody and Brandi Rhodes. We see clips of Bennett defeating Ethan Carter III and the fairly bad mixed tag with Cody/Rhodes vs. Mike/Maria.

Off to the tag teams now as we see Decay beat Beer Money to win the Tag Team Titles on April 26.

Due to Lashley vacating the X-Division Title, there was an Ultimate X gauntlet held on September 1 and we actually see a good chunk of it.

X-Division Title: Trevor Lee vs. DJZ vs. Andrew Everett vs. Mandrews vs. Braxton Sutter vs. Rockstar Spud

The title is vacant coming in and this is a gauntlet match, meaning people are added at fixed intervals but you can pull the title down at any time. Trevor Lee and DJZ start things off and they slug it out for a bit before pulling each other down. Andrew Everett is in third and the time intervals seem to be two and a half minutes. DJZ gets double teamed so the Helms Dynasty (minus Helms showing up lately) goes up at the same time.

TNA World Title: Eddie Edwards vs. Lashley

They head outside with Eddie chopping him up against the barricade but getting dropped throat first across the steel. Some choking with a wristband takes us to the last break. Back with Lashley in full control with a chinlock and a knee to the face. The champ fights back and sends Lashley outside for a suicide dive.

A Shining Wizard gets two on Lashley, who comes right back with a Dominator for the same. They head outside for a few moments before Eddie misses a top rope double stomp. Lashley pulls the referee in the way and then hits the spear for two, earning the second referee a right hand to the face. The first referee goes to call for the DQ but the Boston Knee Party gives Eddie the fast counted pin at 18:53.

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Impact Wrestling – December 15, 2016 (Total Nonstop Deletion): I Knew They Wouldn’t Come

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Date: December 15, 2016
Location: Hardy Compound, Cameron, North Carolina
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Jeremy Borash

No drones were harmed in the making of this presentation.

We go to Gilbert Corsey (former OVW interviewer) who says there is seismic activity in Cameron, North Carolina.

At the scene of the Hardy volcano, Itchweeed (yes I spelled that right) runs up to the volcano with a weed whacker and shouts a lot of unintelligible words.

King Maxel vs. Rockstar Spud

Maxel drives to the ring in a mini Mercedes because of course he does. The bell rings, Benjamin tases Spud and Maxel gets the pin in 19 seconds. Cool moment, though Kevin Owens basically did the same thing in PWG a few years back.

Disco Inferno is watching from the back and asks if anyone wants to play some poker. It should be noted that Inferno was once arrested for involvement in an illegal poker game.

Corsey is taking bets on the match.

Sienna names herself #1 contender for the Knockouts Title and is willing to put that spot up against anyone or anything. Then the following happens.

Sienna vs. Vanguard I

Sienna vs. ODB

ODB rubs Vanguard I on her chest.

The Helms Dynasty wants to fight but Matt has a pre-mo-nition. Tonight, we will see an appalling reincarnation.

Itchweed vs. Chet Sterling

We get a flashback to Matt talking to a giraffe named George Washington and Jeff boxing a kangaroo named Smoking Joe.

TNA World Title: Lashley vs. Eddie Edwards

Eddie saves himself from a superplex and scores with a missile dropkick. The Shining Wizard gets two but Lashley gets in the Dominator for the same. Back to the floor with a powerbomb sending Eddie into the crowd. Looked cool but not much pain involved. Lashley picks things up a bit and spears Eddie through the wall as we take a second break.

Tag Team Titles: Tag Team Apocalypto

Hardys, Helms Dynasty, Rock N Roll Express, Decay

Back to Lashley choking Edwards with a cord of some kind as Morton is still stuck on the crane, demanding to be let down. Road Warrior Animal of all people is here, asking how Morton got stuck up there. Decay finds James Storm in a mask but multiple other DCC members show up. One of them takes off his mask and Storm has no idea who it is. Whoever it is gets knocked out with Abyss getting the pin, which eliminates the entire DCC. Storm gets in a superkick for good measure. Steve wants to go add to this pile of bones and we take another break.

Results

King Maxel b. Rockstar Spud – Spud was shocked with a taser

Sienna b. ODB – Silencer

Itchweeed b. Chet Sterling – Pesticide Elbow

Eddie Edwards vs. Lashley went to a no contest

The Hardys won Tag Team Apocalypto last eliminating Decay

 

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Impact Wrestling – December 8, 2016: The Last Normal One

Impact Wrestling
Date: December 8, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

We open with a recap of the World Title match with both guys seeming to have a lot of respect for each other.

Grand Championship: Moose vs. Aron Rex

Galloway rants about TNA not holding the tournament for him.

Mahabali Shera/Al Snow vs. Tribunal

We see Matt Hardy asleep with the Seven Deities telling him about something called Apocalypto.

Ethan is ready for the title match and makes fun of Eli Drake for not being able to talk.

Laurel Van Ness vs. Allie

Maria tries to get in and is shoved right back down.

Video on Carter vs. Edwards.

Allie is all happy and kisses Sutter in celebration.

Total Nonstop Deletion ad.

TNA World Title: Ethan Carter III vs. Eddie Edwards

Results

Moose b. Aron Rex – Game Changer

Al Snow/Mahabali Shera b. Tribunal – Snow and Shera touched all six buckles

Allie b. Laurel Van Ness – Reverse DDT

Eddie Edwards vs. Ethan Carter III went to a no contest with a double finish

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Impact Wrestling – December 1, 2016: Old People Rule

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Date: December 1, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

Grand Championship: Aron Rex vs. Moose

X-Division Title: Braxton Sutter vs. Mandrews vs. DJZ

DJZ elbows him in the face but tweaks his knee back inside. That goes nowhere as DJZ high crossbodies both challengers, only to have Sutter snap off a Flatliner. Mandrews uses a twisting Stunner to get out of a suplex but as soon as he hits the shooting star, DJZ pops back up with a rollup to retain at 5:58.

Laurel Van Ness says that she can make Braxton feel better but Allie wonders why she never sees Laurel and Braxton together.

Rosemary is ready for the cage match.

Tag Team Titles: DCC vs. Hardys

Ethan Carter III mocks Eli Drake for not being able to talk. When Ethan gets the title back next week, all Eli has to do is say the word and he can have a shot.

Al Snow gives a really intense speech about giving the Tribunal what they have coming to them. This is one of the best things on the show but again, WHY SHOULD I CARE ABOUT AL SNOW???

Knockouts Title: Rosemary vs. Jade

Inside Six Sides of Steel with the title vacant coming in and Madison Rayne on commentary. Oh and Gail Kim is outside because we just need her presence. You can only win by pinfall or submission so Rosemary knocks Jade to the floor right after the bell. Rosemary throws a trashcan inside but gets knocked down as we take a break.

Rosemary laughs at Gail to end the show.

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Monday Night Raw – June 10, 2002 (2016 Redo): A Missing Rattlesnake, An Owner and One Disgusting Promo

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Date: June 10, 2002
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 8,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

On top of that, Austin had been doing some really stupid angles over the last few weeks. Whether it was the WAY too long feud with the NWO or relieving himself on Arn Anderson or probably making Ric Flair clean the toilets, Austin was a pretty long way away from his must see war against Vince McMahon and headlining Wrestlemania with the Rock. Austin deserved better than this and should have been in the World Title picture instead of taking care of all these people in Raw in a glorified midcard role.

Anyway, on with the show.

Opening sequence.

Spike Dudley/Shawn Stasiak/Tommy Dreamer vs. NWO

After a break, Booker runs into Goldust (now in an afro as the Undercover Brother), who wants Booker to drop the team because, I kid you now, Shawn might be a racist.

Chris Benoit and Eddie Guerrero try to talk Flair out of this and get nowhere.

European Title: William Regal vs. Bradshaw

GET THE F OUT!

Molly Holly vs. Trish Stratus

Arn Anderson (thankfully in a clean shirt) tries to talk Vince out of this.

King of the Ring Qualifying Match: Eddie Guerrero vs. Rob Van Dam

Undertaker arrives.

Moving on, Jeff Hardy dropkicked him into human vomit. JR: “Not any kind of vomit. HUMAN VOMIT!” Cue Matt Hardy with a ladder for a distraction so Jeff can get in a few shots. The beatdown is on but the brothers manage to drop him with the ladder before bailing. So they go from a big time tag team to getting squashed by Brock Lesnar to feuding with the World Champion in a side story while we wait on Undertaker vs. HHH?

King of the Ring Qualifying Match: Brock Lesnar vs. Bubba Ray Dudley

Rating: D+. Watchable power match here with Lesnar looking a little better than usual. Granted that might be due to not having Van Dam and Guerrero around him to really show off how much better they are. Bubba is a good first feud for Lesnar but they really need to have good hands in there to walk Brock through these matches.

After a break, Heyman offers Brock to Vince. Once Vince gets total control, he should call Heyman, who has a great idea for King of the Ring.

Vince McMahon vs. Ric Flair

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Impact Wrestling – November 3, 2016: On the Outside Looking in

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Date: November 3, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

Grand Championship: Aron Rex vs. Jesse Godderz

Back up and Rex gets rolled up for two before headbutting Jesse into the corner. A slow motion powerslam gets two on Rex but the round ends as the Adonis Lock goes on. Round two goes to Godderz and we take a break before round three. Back with Rex getting punched in the face as Jesse would be smart to waste time. The champ rakes the eyes though and a big right hand retains the title at 12:24.

Video on Team X Gold, another unnecessary concept. Team Go For Broke respects each other.

Marshe Rockett/Trevor Lee/Andrew Everett vs. Rockstar Spud/Decay vs. Go For Broke

Video on Eddie winning the X-Division Title.

Tag Team Titles: Hardys vs. DCC

Ethan Carter III (because transitions mean NOTHING in TNA) is going to call out Eli Drake.

Video on Eddie losing the X-Division Title to Lashley and losing his mentor right around the same time. Then he won the World Title and now believes anything is possible.

TNA World Title: Eddie Edwards vs. Lashley

They head outside with Eddie chopping him up against the barricade but getting dropped throat first across the steel. Some choking with a wristband takes us to the last break. Back with Lashley in full control with a chinlock and a knee to the face. The champ fights back and sends Lashley outside for a suicide dive.

A Shining Wizard gets two on Lashley, who comes right back with a Dominator for the same. They head outside for a few moments before Eddie misses a top rope double stomp. Lashley pulls the referee in the way and then hits the spear for two, earning the second referee a right hand to the face. The first referee goes to call for the DQ but the Boston Knee Party gives Eddie the fast counted pin at 18:53.

Results

Aron Rex b. Jesse Godderz – Right hand

Go For Broke b. Marshe Rockett/Trevor Lee/Andrew Everett and Rockstar Spud/Decay – Flatliner to Spud

Hardys b. DCC via DQ when the third DCC member interfered

Eddie Edwards b. Lashley – Boston Knee Party

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Impact Wrestling – October 20, 2016: I Think We Have A Bad Connection

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Date: October 20, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

Moose vs. Lashley

The Tribunal talks about wanting respect but the feed cuts out to hear from the three masked men. Chaos arrives tonight.

Tyrus ad.

Since Rex beat Edwards for the Grand Championship, that makes him the man around here. Rex says none of them have anything on the man who is Bound For Gold. This brings Rex around to Ethan Carter III, who Drake says is bound for the dumpster. Cue Carter but Drake sends it to a break, complete with a TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES DUMMIES graphic. This segment gets better and better every week.

Back with Carter in the ring and calling Eli out for a fight. He wants to destroy that set but wants Eli to press the button so he can punch Drake (YEAH!), kick Drake (YEAH!) or choke Drake (YEAH!). Eli pushes the button over and over so Carter dives on the security and the fight is on. Rex tries to break it up but Jesse Godderz (who Rex insulted during his interview) comes out to go after Aron. Security breaks it up.

Tag Team Titles: Hardys vs. Tribunal

Allie is getting ready to stand up to Maria when Braxton Sutter comes up. That goes nowhere as Laurel Van Ness comes in to say Maria has something to say to Allie. Laurel hits on Braxton a bit too.

We look back at the end of Gail vs. Maria from last week.

Ethan Carter III and Jesse Godderz want to face Aron Rex and Eli Drake next week.

Mahabali Shera vs. Mike Bennett

Video on Eddie vs. Cody.

TNA World Title: Eddie Edwards vs. Cody

Cody is challenging and has Brandi Rhodes in his corner. Feeling out process to start and a double dropkick gives us a standoff. Back from a break with Cody getting kicked down to the mat, only to have him chop Eddie into an armbar. Eddie fights up again but eats the Beautiful Disaster, followed by a springboard dive to the floor.

A slam on the ramp sets up a modified Muscle Buster on the champ for another near fall and Cody is getting frustrated. The champ is loaded up for a superplex but reverses into a small package (looked horrible as Cody was laying on the mat and then raised up to get to the pin) to retain at 13:05.

A MMA/professional wrestler

A former NFL player

The freakshow with magical powers

A loudmouth with a model wife who was treated like a huge deal on arrival

A guy who likes to dance and hired a fixer to do his fighting for him

The son of a legend who was literally given a World Title shot without winning a single match

Results

Lashley b. Moose – Middle rope spear

Hardys b. Tribunal – Twist of Fate to Baraka

Mike Bennett b. Mahabali Shera – MIP

Eddie Edwards b. Cody – Small package

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Impact Wrestling – October 13, 2016: Suddenly, A Change

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Date: October 18, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

Grand Championship: Aron Rex vs. Jesse Godderz

Cody vs. Mike Bennett

Moose is ready for Ethan.

X-Division Title: Marshe Rockett vs. DJZ

Knockouts Title: Maria Kanellis-Bennett vs. Gail Kim

Eli Drake tells Ethan not to choke tonight.

Moose vs. Ethan Carter III

Lashley comes out to stare down Moose as the show ends.

Results

Aron Rex b. Jesse Godderz – Revelator

Cody b. Mike Bennett – Cross Rhodes

DJZ b. Marshe Rockett – ZDT

Gail Kim b. Maria Kanellis-Bennett – Eat Defeat into a trashcan lid

Moose b. Ethan Carter III – Discus lariat to the back of the head

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Impact Wrestling – October 6, 2016: Howl With Me

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Date: October 6, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

We open with a montage from Bound For Glory.

Trevor Lee/Andrew Everett/Marshe Rocket vs. DJZ/Mandrews/Braxton Sutter

Rating: C. Oh sweet goodness TNA what are you doing? I get the idea here (capitalizing on the success of the Cruiserweight Classic) but my goodness could they come up with something a little better than throwing six guys out there with little to no connection and having a match?

Maria Kanellis yells at Allie over screwing up on Sunday. Sienna and Laurel Van Ness talk Maria out of firing her because they need someone to carry their bags. Sienna will get the title back tonight and Allie better not mess it up.

Eddie Edwards says Lashley sees him as the easy match so please pick him to give Lashley the easy title defense.

Knockouts Title: Sienna vs. Gail Kim

Gail is defending and Madison Rayne is on commentary (with her husband Josh Matthews). Sienna knocks Allie into Gail to knock her off the apron before driving the champ back first into the apron. They head inside with Gail escaping the AK-47 but getting caught in a reverse powerbomb for two. Gail ducks the Pounce and rolls Sienna up to retain at 3:04.

Tag Team Titles: Hardys vs. Decay

Here are Cody and Brandi Rhodes for their big formal introduction. Cody talks about how the game is changing and lists off some things from Bound For Glory. He talks about the list (a list of things he wanted to do in wrestling) being his guiding light with names like Mike Bennett making him want to keep going.

Post break Cody says he wants Mike Bennett next week.

Grand Championship: Aron Rex vs. Baron Dax

Rex says this is changing the business.

TNA World Title: Lashley vs. Eddie Edwards

Results

DJZ/Mandrews/Braxton Sutter b. Trevor Lee/Andrew Everett/Marshe Rocket – Shooting star press to Everett

Gail Kim b. Sienna – Rollup

Hardys b. Decay – Hardys escaped the cage

Aron Rex b. Baron Dax – Royal Arch

Eddie Edwards b. Lashley – Boston Knee Party

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Bound For Glory 2016: And That’s That

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Date: October 2, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

We open with Matt Hardy and his son Maxell playing the piano. Matt stops to read a story, which serves as our opening recap for all of the matches.

The announcers welcome us to the show.

X-Division Title: Trevor Lee vs. DJZ

The champ is thrown back in and grabs a flapjack, followed by a top rope hurricanrana to make it even worse. They trade dives with Lee getting the better of it but DJZ reverses a German suplex into a reverse hurricanrana. The ZDT is countered with the double stomp but DJZ reverses a suplex into a Canadian Destroyer of all things. Now the ZDT connects to retain the title at 11:08.

Bound For Gold

Celebrity chef Robert Irvine is here to watch Gail Kim be inducted into the Hall of Fame. Maria and Mike Bennett come in to say tonight is about them.

Mike Bennett vs. Moose

Moose fights up again and hits some running clotheslines, followed by a very hard clothesline. Mike comes back with a tornado DDT and a piledriver for two. Even more clotheslines have Bennett reeling but he catches a top rope clothesline in a cutter. That goes nowhere as Moose grabs the chokebomb and hits a discus lariat for the pin at 10:10.

Grand Championship: Aron Rex vs. Eddie Edwards

For the inaugural title and the rounds are now five minutes long instead of three. Feeling out process to start with neither being able to go anywhere in the first two minutes. Eddie snaps off a hurricanrana but gets caught in the Russian legsweep. Rex is sent outside for a big flip dive and both guys are down. A few more shots have Eddie in control and round one ends.

Eddie wins the first round so Rex is much more aggressive to start the second round. Some hard chops have Eddie in trouble and Rex starts in on the knee. Rex grabs an Indian Deathlock and THE LIGHTS GO OUT. Not as in an angle but as in the lights just stopped working. Fans: “PAY THE LIGHT BILL!” They come back on as Rex puts on a modified Sharpshooter for a few moments. Some knees to the back get two and the round ends.

We recap Decay vs. the Hardys in the Great War. Decay took the titles earlier in the year and the Hardys invited them to North Carolina for Final Deletion II. This is a match with unclear rules with the titles on the line.

Tag Team Titles: Hardys vs. Decay

Abyss and Jeff are nowhere to be seen as Rosemary comes in with a Van Terminator of all things to give Steve two on the floor. Back in the ring, Abyss staples Jeff in the forehead. Josh: “Somebody is teeing off on somebody on the other side of the Impact Zone.” Thanks for that information Josh. Matt and Abyss fight to the back with Abyss punching out a referee. Steve and Jeff join them with Decay in control. Jeff tries to reach a bucket labeled “Lake of Reincarnation” but Steve hits him with a music stand.

Matt and Abyss stagger back inside as well with Abyss suplexing Matt on the ramp. Jeff (no longer Willow) crawls back out from under the ring and baseball slides a table into Steve. The Twist of Fate and Swanton get two on Abyss, who brings out the barbed wire board. Matt takes over and adds in the thumbtacks, followed by a Side Effect onto various sharp objects.

We recap Lethal Lockdown with Lashley picking the main event stipulations.

Lashley is tired of people like EC3 being placed in front of him. Tonight is about teaching a lesson.

Knockouts Title: Maria Kanellis-Bennett vs. Gail Kim

Quick recap of Carter vs. Lashley. Carter is the latest person to come after the title and Lashley has promised to treat him like everyone who has come before.

TNA World Title: Ethan Carter III vs. Lashley

Results

DJZ b. Trevor Lee – DJZ

Eli Drake won Bound For Gold last eliminating Tyrus and Jesse Godderz

Moose b. Mike Bennett – Discus lariat

Aron Rex b. Eddie Edwards via split decision

Hardys b. Decay – Swanton Bomb through a table

Gail Kim b. Maria Kanellis-Bennett – Eat Defeat

Lashley b. Ethan Carter III – Middle rope spear

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