NWA-TNA Weekly PPV #25
Date: December 11, 2002
Location: Tennessee State Fairgrounds, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Don West

So last week saw things get really Russo-y in a hurry, with the debut of the Sports Entertainment Xtreme (SEX) stable and a woman being treated horribly. Then Paul Bearer debuted to end the show, because that’s the kind of huge signing this place needs. I have no idea what I’m getting myself into here but let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap, which is described as from “LAST WEEKY”, because this company can’t spell a four letter word with two letters being the same. Anyway we look at the beginnings of Sports Entertainment Xtreme, because this place was needing an NWO knockoff.

Opening sequence.

Jason Cross vs. Tony Mamaluke

Mamaluke takes him down by the arm to start but gets sent into the buckle. That means a crash to the floor, with Cross hitting a big flip dive. Cross ties him in the Tree Of Woe for a baseball slide, followed by a brainbuster for two. Back up and Mamaluke starts in on the leg but gets kicked in the face for his efforts.

Mamaluke’s charge misses in the corner though and Cross hits something like a sideways Blockbuster. Cross goes up for a flipping Unprettier (cool) into a shooting star legdrop. This bangs up the knee (which was fine enough to do two big flips in a row) and Mamaluke grabs a seated Brock Lock (the Sicilian Crab) for the tap at 6:31.

Rating: C+. Oh dang that ending screwed up a lot of the good they had going here. Cross hits two awesome finishers in a row and doesn’t even get a cover before giving up. Not only does it waste the finishers, but the leg was fine enough to go up a few times in a row but the landing hurts it that badly? That’s just overbooking, as Cross’ finishers look weak and he loses on top of it. Get this stuff straight.

Post match BG James comes out and puts a guitar on the announcers’ table. They are responsible for keeping track of the guitar, which Jeff Jarrett will need to retain the World Title. It’s an official order from Vince Russo, so you know it’s serious. Oh and the Harris Brothers come in and wreck Mamaluke and Cross, making it clear that they mean absolutely nothing.

James says that Russo isn’t here because he’s recruiting new talent for SEX (oh good grief). He promises that the army will grow and says D-Generation X was a cross between Russo’s ideas and the members’ talent so this is all for the good of the business. Cue Bob Armstrong who can’t believe that James is joining with Russo. James says his daddy (ah so it’s confirmed) never did anything for him, which has Armstrong bringing out Ron Killings with a chair and a chain.

Tonight, it’s a chair and chain match (a chain match with a chair in the middle of the chain) between James and Killings, with the Twins facing the Disciples Of The New Church. The villains tease a brawl but the Church and some other wrestlers come out for the big pull apart as the villains run off.

So in case it wasn’t clear, the match at the beginning of the show means absolutely nothing because this is all about the NWA vs. Russo’s IN YOUR FACE stable, making it WCW vs. the NWO. Again. Oh and remember that D-Generation X was a thing, because…well why else would James have a job?

Commentary runs down the show, with Mike Tenay talking about what Jeff Jarrett has been doing lately.

Jorge Estrada is crushed that Priscilla left him and maybe he needs a new direction. From now on, he’s playing things by ear.

Kid Kash vs. Jorge Estrada

They fight over arm control to start with neither of them really being able to get very far. An exchange in armdrags leads to Kash grabbing an armbar but getting sent outside. Estrada’s springboard corkscrew moonsault drops Kash again but he’s right back with something like a Whisper In The Wind. Estrada trips him down for a springboard legdrop to the back of the head but Kash is back up with a running DDT. A brainbuster gives Kash the fast win at 5:17.

Rating: C. The action was fine, but it felt like two people just doing moves to each other until Kash won. It didn’t really build towards anything and while Kash’s stuff was good, there is only so much you can get with the second short X-Division match in a row. Estrada’s downward spiral continues, and I can’t see it getting much better for him anytime soon.

Bob Armstrong is on the phone and can’t talk.

Divine Storm vs. America’s Most Wanted

Trinity is here with Divine Storm. Harris works on Quiet Storm’s arm to start and slaps a dropkick away without much trouble. Some shoulders don’t work well for Quiet either so it’s off to Divine. James Storm comes in to kick him in the head (a good job if you can get it) and Divine is sent outside. James hits a big dive onto both opponents, followed by Harris hitting a dive onto all three of them (which isn’t that bright but this show’s logic went out the window a long time ago).

Naturally Trinity wants in on this by moonsaulting onto Harris, who is right back in with something like a dropkick Hart Attack to Quiet. Divine comes in to take over on Harris though and cuts him off with a boot in the corner. The spear gets Harris out of trouble though and it’s back to James for the real comeback (after being in trouble for about thirty seconds). Quiet gets superkicked out of the air and everything breaks down, with Trinity breaking up the Death Sentence, allowing Divine to steal the pin on Harris at 6:56.

Rating: C+. Well, points for having a new team get somewhere. AMW is by far and away the best team in the company and it’s nice to see someone else getting a chance. I’m not sure if Divine Storm is going to be the next big thing but it’s better than having AMW run through one team after another.

Referee Scott Armstrong talks to BG James (his brother, who is smoking) and tries to get him back on the right side with their dad. James says he paved his own roads. Except for the ones with Russo right?

We look at AJ Styles taking out Amazing Red last week.

AJ Styles vs. Amazing Red

Mortimer Plumtree is here with Styles and Red runs in to start fast. Styles keeps shoving him away and gets hit in the face for his efforts. A 619 rocks Styles and sends him outside, but he catches Red’s dive for a powerbomb backbreaker. Back in and Red strikes away until a discus clothesline brings him right back down.

A middle rope sunset flip doesn’t work for Red, who backflips up and over Styles (that looked great) into a failed Styles Clash attempt. Red’s tornado DDT is countered into a northern lights suplex and he’s in trouble again. Plumtree even gets in a few shots, earning himself an anklescissors. Styles isn’t having that and drops him face first onto the steps but Red is able to snap off a hurricanrana.

A reverse DDT gives Styles two and he grabs a Muta Lock, even turning over onto his stomach while continuing the cranking. With that not working, Styles hits a hard sitout powerbomb and they go up top. The super Styles Clash is blocked though and a super hurricanrana gives Red the big upset at 12:09.

Rating: B. These two beat each other up, which isn’t a surprise given who was in there. It’s a similar story to the AMW match, as you have the established ace and need to bring up someone new, which is where a fall like this comes in. Red even won clean to make it better and it makes sense as he’s a good guy. Solid stuff here, which tends to be the case with anything Styles does.

Tag Team Titles: Disciples Of The New Church vs. Harris Twins

The Disciples, with Belladonna and James Mitchell, are defending and WHY? The whole point of the match was to punish the Twins….so they get a title shot??? Good grief the logic really is gone here. The Twins come in through the crowd and the brawl starts fast. AJ Styles even joins commentary, which isn’t something you would see around this time.

They fight in the ring for a bit until Slash hits a big dive to the floor, meaning it’s time to fight into the crowd. They head back into the ring with the Disciples fighting out of trouble until BG James comes in with a chair to Slash’s head. Ron gets the pin and the titles at 4:17…but here is Percy Pringle (Paul Bearer) to tell the referee about the interference, which is enough for the DQ.

Rating: C-. Not much to this one, which shouldn’t be a big surprise. At the end of the day, there is pretty much nothing to the Harris Twins in the ring and having them in a title match here makes less than no sense. Throw in the fact that they wound up getting the pin until Percy Pringle of all people makes the save. Because the champs need to lose to the really awesome team you see.

Post match Mitchell says the teams don’t have problem with each other and suggests beating up Pringle. Cue AMW with chairs to go after the Disciples as we again have WAY too much going on at once. That’s ignoring AMW being put into a bigger story right after losing, because the wrestling just doesn’t matter.

Video on Sonny Siaki challenging Jerry Lynn for the X-Division Title.

Siaki wants the old guys gone and new guys, like him, getting a chance.

X-Division Title: Sonny Siaki vs. Jerry Lynn

Lynn is defending and we get the Big Match Intros. Lynn drives him into the corner to start and grabs a headlock takeover. A crucifix gives Lynn two and it’s an armdrag into an armbar. Back up and a triangle dropkick sends Siaki outside but he’s able to send into the apron. Lynn sweeps the leg and hits a slingshot legdrop to the back of the head, only to get caught in a hot shot. The referee gets distracted and Lynn gets kicked low, allowing Siaki to send him outside again.

They trade rams into the barricade, with Siaki getting the better of things by swinging him into the steel. Siaki hammers away back inside but walks into a sitout powerbomb for two. The referee gets bumped in the corner though and naturally Lynn grabs his cradle piledriver immediately thereafter. The very delayed count gets two but cue a mystery woman to crotch Lynn on top. A hanging swinging neckbreaker gives Siaki the pin and the title at 12:59.

Rating: C+. I appreciate the idea of getting someone new in the title picture as you can only have Lynn and AJ Styles fight so many times. Siaki was treated as something important for a little bit before dropping back down the card. It’s nice to see him doing something else, as there are far worse options out there.

Ron Killings vs. BG James

Chairs and Chains match (ignore that there is only one of each), which is a chain match with a chair in the middle. Naturally it’s just dangling there, making it look like a scene from a screwball wrestling sitcom (which I would love to see). James wraps the chain around his fist and punches away to start, allowing him to grab the chair.

That takes long enough that Killings can go up for a dropkick to send the chair into his face. A moonsault only hits chair though and James chairs him in the ribs. The chair is wedged in the corner, with Killings pulling him into the chair for the big crash. Then the chain just falls off so Killings gives him a sitout gordbuster onto the chair for the pin at 4:04.

Rating: F. This is the definition of a hat on a hat, as just having a chain match is one thing, but then they needed to add in a chair because reasons. It also didn’t work due to the chair just kind of dangling there, because they had to go with the dumbest idea possible. Terrible match, which had Russo’s style all over it.

Post match Killings puts the chair on him and goes up but Bob Armstrong makes the save. James gets up and chairs both of them in the head, leaving the referee to check on Bob. For like five seconds.

We run down next week’s card.

We recap Curt Hennig challenging Jeff Jarrett for the World Title. Basically Hennig wants to win the title to prove his greatness and that’s about it.

Earlier today, Jarrett had a sitdown interview and talked about the importance of the NWA World Title. He doesn’t like Vince Russo but isn’t happy with some of the things Roddy Piper said either. As for his allegiance with Russo…he’ll address it to Russo’s face later.

NWA World Title: Curt Hennig vs. Jeff Jarrett

Jarrett is defending. They go with the wrestling to start and neither get very far. A headscissors doesn’t work for Hennig so he goes with the chops in the corner. They’re already on the floor with Jarrett hitting him in the back with a chair, earning a look from the referee. Back in and Hennig grabs a quick Robinsdale Crunch, allowing him to wrap the knee around the post. Hennig ties the leg up inside and Jarrett even has to raise his shoulder to avoid a pin. No it wasn’t going to happen, but points for doing something instead of just laying there.

Jarrett is back up with an enziguri and sends Hennig into the corner, where a turnbuckle pad is taken off. Hennig is sent into the exposed buckle and of course the referee gets bumped (again). Jarrett teases getting the guitar from earlier in the night but opts not to, instead loading up the Stroke. That earns him a low blow, but here is Vince Russo (of course) to guitar Hennig in the head (and it doesn’t break). Jarrett retains his title at 8:12.

Rating: C. Jarrett and Hennig could have a passable match in their sleep due to talent and experience alone, but they had too much going on here, including the Russo ending. They only had a few minutes to actually wrestle here until they got to the screwy stuff. It could have been good but instead they went with the sports entertainment nonsense, as is always the case with Russo.

Post match Russo hands Jarrett the title and they go head to head. Cue AJ Styles to run in to jump Jarrett to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. There were good parts in here, but the Russo dominance is destroying those positives. Everything important revolves around Russo vs. Bob Armstrong of all people, which makes for such a mess. The X-Division stuff at the beginning was nice, but it only gets you so far when, like the cruiserweights in WCW, it doesn’t feel important in the slightest. Watch the AJ Styles stuff as usual, and skip the rest.

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NWA-TNA Weekly PPV #24
Date: December 4, 2002
Location: Tennessee State Fairgrounds, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Don West

We’re in the Russo/Jarrett era of the show and believe it or not, things went way downhill in a hurry last week. Russo’s mere presence drags the show down and it felt like a lot of the other stuff was treated far less importantly. It would be nice to see that change this week, but odds are it’s going to be more about Russo than anything else. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Vince Russo wanting an answer from Jeff Jarrett to end last week’s show. After the show ended, Ron Killings and Russo got in a fight and naturally Russo was able to hold his own with him.

Opening sequence.

Here is Roddy Piper to get things going, accompanied by someone in a Piper shirt. Piper wants to talk about Vince Russo (oh geez), who wanted to be a wrestler but couldn’t so he turned it into sports entertainment. He holds up some photos from his book (which is quite the read in a not so great way) and calls Russo the Bin Laden of wrestling. Piper warns us of what is going to happen if Russo is allowed to have his way and calls Russo out to meet him.

Russo runs in through the crowd and Piper gets in his face to talk about him killing WCW. He wants to know what Russo wants to accomplish and talks about how Piper has killed everything in wrestling. Cue the Harris Twins to hold Russo back as Piper mocks him. Piper’s music cuts him off. Oh and he raises the hand of the man who came with him, with Piper saying he hopes that people like this man listen to him. This was one of those things that felt like the company thought it would be awesome but…Russo.

We run down the card.

SATs vs. Divine Storm

Trinity is here with Divine Storm. Jose can’t break Storm’s bridge to start so they trade springboard armdrags. They go to a standoff so it’s off to Joel to send Divine outside. Everything breaks down and Divine Storm hit a running dive to the floor each. Trinity adds a huge moonsault of her own but the SATs are right back with a Boston crab/camel clutch combo to both of them at the same time.

A reverse rocking horse into a slingshot Fameasser gets two on Divine, who comes back with what looked like a low blow. Everything breaks down again and Divine hits what would become known as the One Winged Angel with Jose making the save. The super Spanish Fly is loaded up but Trinity gets in a low blow, allowing Storm to roll Jose up for the pin at 7:33.

Rating: C+. It was another fine tag match between two decent teams, but at the same time it wasn’t exactly a match that felt important. Maybe Divine Storm is being built up to go after the Tag Team Titles, but they’re not exactly stealing the show thus far. It could be worse, but it could also be a lot more interesting.

Here is Chris Harris for a match but hang on because here is Vince Russo to interrupt. He says he’s here to help Harris before moving on to Roddy Piper. He’s not going to talk about Piper and get sued, but if Piper wants to use Owen Hart’s name to sell a book, he’s going straight to H***. The way Russo sees it, the NWA doesn’t care about the fans but rather about a bunch of old people who won’t admit that it’s over. These people want violence, smut and language. They want sex: SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT XTREME baby!

Russo keeps seeing signs for Athena so here she is. Naturally he won’t let her speak, instead telling her to take her clothes off. She’s not interested so he calls her a b****, earning a slap to his face. Russo grabs her by the hair and screams at her until security comes in.

Athena goes after Russo anyway, with Russo threatening her as the Harris Twins hold them apart. Russo gets on the Twins for becoming bodyguards and Ron (I guess) says he’s not doing this anymore because Russo is here. Russo tells them to take out the trash so it’s an H Bomb to Athena. They do it again and then beat up the other security for trying to help. This has been a Russo segment involving a woman and that shouldn’t be a surprise whatsoever.

In the back Bob Armstrong yells at the Harris Twins…and gives them a match tonight. And Russo is a snake whose head needs to be crushed.

AMW yells at Mike Tenay, who tells them to go to the ring.

Chris Harris vs. Brian Lee

The usual associates are here too. The brawl starts on the floor with Lee knocking him over the barricade but Harris is back with a tackle onto the announcers’ table. A suplex brings Lee inside for the first time but a low blow slows Harris down. Lee slugs away and his associates get in their cheap shots from the floor. The chinlock doesn’t last long but Lee is back up with a knee to the ribs. That’s cut off with a running bulldog so here is Belladonna for a distraction. Said distraction lets Lee get in a big boot for two so Mitchell throws in a foreign object. That lets Harris hit a quick spear for the sudden pin at 5:14.

Rating: C. Nothing to see here, partially because it was a fairly bland match coming after the big promo from Russo. That’s another big issue with Russo, as he gets to take over everything going on with the show and the wrestling has to take a huge backseat. This is a match that is part of a hot feud, but instead it’s playing second fiddle to Russo establishing himself. Lucky us.

Ron Killings is told that if he teams up with Jeff Jarrett against the Harris Brothers, he gets a title shot. So who was Armstrong going to put them against if Killings said no?

James Storm vs. Slash

Slash jumps him to start but Storm gets in a quick slam. Back up and Slash kicks him in the face, followed by a suplex for two. The slow beating ensues until Storm manages to get in a quick superkick for the needed breather. A Russian legsweep gives Storm two but Belladonna offers a distraction, allowing Slash to throw powder in his face.

Slash’s neckbreaker gets two, as does Slash rolling through a middle rope high crossbody. A chair is thrown in and the referee is distracted for the reverse tornado DDT onto said chair for…two. Oh yeah Russo is in charge again. Chris Harris has to spear Brian Lee from invading but the distraction lets Slash get in a belt shot for two more. For some reason Mitchell gets up on the apron, allowing AMW to hit a Death Sentence to give Storm the pin at 6:15.

Rating: D. The main event of Wrestlemania isn’t this overbooked most of the time. Instead, it’s a six minute match and the second instance of two members of the teams facing off. I’m sure this is just a tiny step in their feud, but why not throw everything you can out there for this otherwise nothing match?

Apparently this win gets AMW a threw way bullrope match with James Mitchell tonight. Well of course it does.

Jerry Lynn hypes up a charity event.

Bob Armstrong gives Ron Killings and Jeff Jarrett a pep talk before the main event.

Kid Kash vs. AJ Styles vs. Amazing Red vs. Kid Kash

This is a double elimination (as in you have to take two falls) match for an X-Division Title shot. Hold on though (of course) as Styles jumps Red and gives him a Styles Clash on the stage. Cue Joel Maximo to take Red’s place, because of course. Red is literally picked up and carried out (no stretcher) and Maximo and Kash trade waistlocks to start. Maximo is sent outside for a nice slingshot hurricanrana so Styles takes Kash down with a cheap shot. That doesn’t seem to matter as Kash gives Maximo a gutbuster, only for Maximo to grab a German suplex for the first fall on Kash at 2:39.

Styles is in to jump Maximo but can’t give him the Clash, instead getting rolled up for two more. The middle rope moonsault into the reverse DDT gives Styles another near fall and something like White Noise gives Styles the pin on Maximo at 5:18. Money is back in to powerbomb Styles for two but the Buckshot Lariat is cut off by a dropkick. The Styles Clash is reversed into a belly to back piledriver to give Money two, followed by the Crash Landing to pin Styles at 7:20.

Kash comes back in and gets monkey flipped but grabs a spinning DDT on Money. A fisherman’s buster gives Kash two and Money’s full nelson slam gets the same. They go up and Money’s superbomb is countered into a super hurricanrana for two, meaning it’s time to argue with the referee. Styles gets in a cheap shot from behind on Kash, allowing Money to roll him up for the elimination at 10:25.

Styles is back in with the Clash to pin Money at 10:48, leaving all three of them with a loss each. Maximo comes in to hammer on Styles, who cuts him off with a fast dropkick. Styles’ brainbuster gets two on Maximo and we hit a Muta Lock, which Styles turns over to stretch Maximo even more. With that broken up (despite looking rather cool), Maximo avoids a charge into the corner and gets a quick two of his own.

Styles sends him outside though and Mortimer Plumtree gets in a few stomps, as a good manager should. The slingshot Swanton gives Styles two back inside, as does Maximo’s sitout powerbomb. Maximo grabs a figure four necklock as we see Money watching on, which actually makes sense for a change. Styles gets out and hits a sitout Dominator for two more as this is starting to drag.

Back up and Maximo grabs a quick rollup to pin Styles out of nowhere at 19:00. So we’re down to Maximo vs. Money, with Money coming back in for a superkick. The frog splash gives Money two as Styles and Plumtree yells at the referee. That means Maximo’s moonsault doesn’t get a count, allowing Money to get in a quick piledriver to pin Maximo for the win at 21:32.

Rating: C+. I’m not sure what to make of this one, as it was a pretty random lineup, with Red being taken out to take it down a few notches, though the action was fine. The problem is it did go longer than it needed to, which took away a lot of the fun. Money winning is fine and I do like the idea of bringing back the double elimination match, though this was a weird spot for it.

Some of the production team talks about the charity stuff on their website.

Sonny Siaki wants the X-Division Title.

Jerry Lynn is injured so his title defense against Siaki is postponed until next week. As this is going on, the Harris Twins come in the ring and go after Bill Behrens, even loading up the table. Lynn runs in for the save and gets sent through Behrens, through the table. Ron Killings comes in for the real save with a chair but the Twins beat him into the crowd. The Twins throw him off a balcony and through a table.

Bob Armstrong wants BG James to do…something tonight. Are we supposed to know they’re father and son?

America’s Most Wanted vs. James Mitchell

This is a three way bullrope match but Mitchell comes out to say his personal physician (Dr. Kevorkian) says his test results aren’t great, so he can’t do this tonight. Instead, here’s Belladonna to do it instead.

America’s Most Wanted vs. Belladonna

AMW shoves her down rather than tie up with the rope and go after Mitchell, only for the Disciples Of The New Church to run out for the brawl. The Disciples lay AMW out and now the referee is willing to attach the rope to their wrists, allowing Mitchell to come in and choke a lot. Belladonna comes in and ties herself by the wrist, allowing Harris to pull her off the middle rope. A TKO lays Belladonna out and the Death Sentence finishes her off. This was a match? Sure why not.

Don West does the preview for next week.

Curt Hennig has a sitdown interview where he talks about Vince Russo. Hennig isn’t a fan of someone putting himself on camera like that, but he’s also ready to win the World Title next week.

Harris Twins vs. Jeff Jarrett/BG James

AND NEVER MIND BECAUSE JAMES WAS ATTACKED BACKSTAGE. The Twins jump Jarrett and knock him over the barricade, where a chair is pelted at his head. Jarrett slips out of the H Bomb, gets knocked down, slips out of it again, and hits a double clothesline. Cue Ron Killings, barely able to walk and carrying a chair, as Jarrett cleans house with a chair and hits a Stroke to pin Don at 5:14.

Rating: D+. It was here that I realized Jarrett is now a good guy. Why this is seen to be a good idea is beyond me but he was doing things here that regular tag teams couldn’t do. Either way, the idea of having more from the Harris Twins is not a good thing, though that’s one of roughly 18,274 issues with this show. This was the usual angle disguised as a match, which is even more Russo standard operating procedure.

Post match Killings says he wants Vince Russo out here so the Twins beat him down again. Russo jumps the barricade as Killings gets H Bombed a few times. BG James runs in with a chair for the save…and then lays out Killings before hugging Russo. In case that isn’t enough, Paul Bearer pops up on stage to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. Oh yeah we’re in big trouble here people, and it isn’t likely to get any better. The problem here is that it feels like a total Russo show, with all kinds of stuff going on and one twist after another. While that might make for an interesting sign, you can only get so much out of that when the people turning so much takes away what interest they might have. At the same time, we’re looking at a main event scene involving Jeff Jarrett, the Road Dogg and the Harris Twins.

That’s in addition to everyone suddenly talking about Russo (sidenote: Is Russo a TNA employee or is he just someone who is showing up? You might want to clarify that.), who is apparently the most interesting person in the world. This promotion has gone from getting ok to absolutely awful, with the Russo focus being the reason. I’m sure Russo would see that as proof that he’s doing his job but….yeah not quite. It doesn’t work when the show stops being fun and becomes a chore to watch, which is the case anytime Russo is prominently featured. Awful show here, and egads Russo is atrocious.

Remember to follow me on Twitter and Bluesky @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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NWA-TNA Weekly PPV #22
Date: November 20, 2002
Location: Tennessee State Fairgrounds, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Don West

It’s a big time main event this week as Jeff Jarrett FINALLY gets his NWA World Title shot, which he’s wanted since he was a boy. Or maybe it just feels like that’s how long he’s been talking about the stupid thing. Other than that, the new Tag Team Champions re defending their titles, which should be dominance. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Commentary runs down the card.

Earlier today we got a sitdown interview with World Champion Ron Killings. He’s not thinking about Mr. Wrestling III and talks about being focused on the World Title because that is his passion. Tonight it’s about who is going to pay the ultimate price.

EZ Money/Sonny Siaki vs. Divine Storm

Storm is Chris Divine/Quiet Storm with Trinity. It’s a brawl to start with Money hitting a top rope clothesline to the floor, taking out Siaki and Storm in the process. Trinity moonsaults out onto Siaki and Storm and we settle down to Divine rolling Siaki up for two. Siaki suplexes him down for two before Money and Siaki plant Storm with a double slam.

A Spin Cycle sends Storm outside, where Siaki is right there with a kind of suplex. Trinity takes Siaki down with a hurricanrana but Money is right there to drop her with a clothesline. Back in and Storm cutters Money off the middle rope, allowing Divine to get the tag. That’s fine with Siaki, who gives him the fisherman’s neckbreaker for the fast pin at 5:50.

Rating: C+. This is following the standard classic idea of having a fast paced match to start the show. It works every time and it worked again here, with Money and Siaki doing well enough as a team. It’s not like they have anything going on, but there are far worse ideas for a show opening match.

Here are James Mitchell and Belladonna for a chat. Mitchell knows the wrestling world is watching the World Title match and now he wants the World Title too. Whoever wins tonight will face the New Church. Likely in the form of this man.

Malice vs. Kory Williams

Malice jumps him to start and they go outside with Williams being sent into the barricade. Back in and Malice…kind of hits a top rope shoulder, followed by a chokeslam for the pin at 1:57.

Spanish Announce Team vs. Harris Twins

For a future Tag Team Title shot.  The SATs start fast and jump the Twins during their entrances as we hear about some of the Twins’ previous gimmicks. Jose misses a dive though and the Twins take over, as they are so known to do. Ron spinebusters Jose but Joel is back in to take Ron down. The moonsault/guillotine legdrop combination gets two but Don is in to clean house. The big dive over the top takes the SATs out and the H Bomb finishes for Ron at 6:08.

Rating: D. You knew the Twins were going to get the title shot as soon as they were announced as being in the field as that’s just what they do. The team is presented as the most important, dominant thing in the division no matter who they’re facing and they squashed a perfectly fine team here. What luck that now we get to see them again.

April insists that she was NOT in the shower with Bruce last week. Cue Bruce, who insists that he’s gay so it wasn’t him. Lenny comes in to say Bruce is a fake gay guy so give him the Miss TNA crown. Cue Brian Lawler to jump Bruce, ending one of the dumbest segments I’ve ever seen.

BG James vs. Lenny

James says this won’t be a gay bashing, but just him beating Lenny up. Lenny shoulders him down to start but gets caught with a clothesline. The dancing punches are broken up and Lenny hits a standing moonsault from the top. Cue Bruce to beat Lenny up but Brian Lawler runs in to take Bruce out. James drops a knee on Lenny for the pin at 2:57, because none of that was a DQ. Well of course it wasn’t.

Post match Goldilocks comes out, kisses April on the cheek, and they leave while holding hands as Lawler is rather upset.

AJ Styles vs. Crimson Dragon vs. Jorge Estrada

For a future X-Division Title shot, Mortimer Plumtree is here with Styles and Priscilla is here with Estrada. They trade armdrags and hiptosses to start and a series of standing switches. Dragon superkicks Styles but Estrada powerbombs Dragon out of the corner. Back up and Dragon suplexes Styles into a Stunner before piledriving Estrada for two.

Styles is back with a brainbuster for two on Dragon with Estrada making the save. Dragon gets knocked into the corner so Styles kicks Estrada down for two. Dragon is able to kick Styles out of the air but Estrada takes Dragon outside for a whip into the barricade. Styles is whipped in for two as well but Dragon is back in with a double guillotine legdrop for two each.

Estrada rolls Dragon up and suplexes Styles for a double near fall, only to get crotched on top. Styles breaks up a near fall on Estrada but Dragon crotches him on top for a change. This time though the super hurricanrana is countered into a Styles Clash onto Estrada to give Styles the pin on Dragon at 11:02.

Rating: B-. Much like the opener, this worked just fine as Estrada and Styles were more than good enough to carry their part of the match. On the other hand you have Dragon (former ECW star Chris Hamrick underneath a mask) doing well enough as a warm body. Sometimes you need someone there to take the fall and that’s about the only reason to put him in there, which worked well enough.

America’s Most Wanted wants to beat up James Mitchell and get the Tag Team Titles back. James Storm also says “sorry about your d*** luck.”

Video on the Disciples Of The New Church winning the Tag Team Titles last week.

Tag Team Titles: Disciples Of The New Church vs. America’s Most Wanted

The Disciples are defending and it’s a big brawl on the floor to start again. AMW double teams Slash on the barricade and Lee is suplexed into the ring. Lee drops Harris to take over and it’s off to Slash for the right hands in the corner. We settle down to the champs taking turns beating up Harris, with Lee’s big boot connecting for two.

Harris finally fights out and gets in a middle rope clothesline, allowing the tag off to Storm. A reverse tornado DDT gives Storm two as everything breaks down again. Something close to a Tower Of Doom out of the corner leaves everyone down but Storm is up with a chair. A shot to Lee’s ribs sets up a spear from Harris for a rather close two so Lee grabs the spike. That’s taken away though and Storm uses it on Lee for the DQ at 10:46.

Rating: C. Yes after all of that brawling, there was actually a DQ. Not in the other matches around here, but in this one, because it’s what the script called for here. We’re probably setting up for a big violent blowoff match between these teams and I’ve heard worse ideas, as it’s an actual feud with stakes.

Post match Storm beats up Belladonna and Harris lays out a referee. Well we better get a violent rematch now. Security runs in to save James Mitchell so he can escape.

Video on the Amazing Red.

We get a sitdown interview with Red, who looks to be about 16 years old and is rather nervous. He wants to be the champion and will give it all he has. The idea here is that he’s quiet on the mic but loud in the ring and…I guess that makes sense.

Jerry Lynn is excited to face Amazing Red because he sees a lot of himself in him.

X-Division Title: Amazing Red vs. Jerry Lynn

Lynn is defending. They start slowly with both of them getting a quick take down to no avail. Lynn monkey flips him but Red sticks the landing on a hiptoss. A German suplex doesn’t work for Lynn either and Red snaps off a hurricanrana. Lynn finally catches him with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker and a surfboard works on Red’s back.

Back up and Red sends him to the floor but the flip dive off the apron is caught, allowing Lynn to ram Red’s ribs into the apron. Lynn ties up an arm and a leg for some cranking but Red gets up for a tornado DDT. That’s enough to send Lynn outside and the running flip dive takes him down again.

A 619 connects on Lynn and Red catches him with a kick to the head. Lynn manages a powerbomb out of the corner and then flips him over into another powerbomb for two more. Red is back up with something like a middle rope swinging Downward Spiral for two of his own and some frustration is setting in. A hurricanrana out of the corner gives Red another near fall but Lynn catches him on top with a super cradle piledriver to retain at 10:03.

Rating: B. Believe it or not, the X-Division guys continue to carry the show, with this being a nice story of the veteran Lynn being a bit overwhelmed by the young star. Red more than held his own out there and it was more a matter of him getting caught than getting beaten. That’s a good way to go (it worked two and a half years later for Shawn Michaels and Shelton Benjamin) and this was one of the better things I’ve seen from TNA in a minute.

Don West hypes up next week’s show.

Video on Ron Killings, who has been kind of forgotten in the last few weeks.

Video on Jeff Jarrett, who wants to be an all time great NWA World Champion.

NWA World Title: Ron Killings vs. Jeff Jarrett

Killings is defending. They go with the basics to start, with Killings grabbing a headlock and then a shoulder block, followed by some dancing. A dropkick puts Jarrett down and he’s not sure what to think here. The spinning forearm sends Jarrett outside and he yells at referee Scott Armstrong before making a fired up comeback. Some right hands and a dropkick have Killings in trouble but he hammers away and hits a Downward Spiral.

Killings powerslams him and hits the ax kick for two, followed by a Figure Four. Jarrett eventually manages to turn it over and everything is broken. They knock each other down before Jarrett is up with a powerbomb for two. The referee takes a thumb to the eye so Killings grabs a chair, which Jarrett uses for two more. Killings hits a sitout gordbuster for two but gets knocked off the top for a crash.

The Stroke gives Jarrett two so they head outside, where Killings gets in a posting. They fight into the crowd where Jarrett hits him with a chair, which Killings shrugs off. A splash off a balcony puts Jarrett through a table and he’s busted open. They go back to the ring, where the referee is of course bumped. The slugout leaves both of them down and Mr. Wrestling III comes in to guitar….Killings to give Jarrett the pin and the title at 17:38.

Rating: C+. The match was ok enough and felt like a big match, but egads why am I supposed to care about Jarrett winning the title? It’s treated like this huge important moment and…it’s still just Jarrett as World Champion, which wasn’t interesting in WCW and isn’t interesting here. Throw in the match being about as cookie cutter of a main event style match as you can get and there was a limited appeal here.

Post match Mr. Wrestling III is….Vince Russo. Well of course it is. Jarrett is shocked to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. Maybe it’s that this show felt a bit bigger, but it was one of the easiest episodes of TNA thus far. There was less in the way of time being wasted and general dumb stuff, though those problems were still there. What matters the most here is having some nice action though and it helped make the show that much better. Not a great show, but it was enough to get by for a week, which is an upgrade around here.

Remember to follow me on Twitter and Bluesky @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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NWA-TNA Weekly PPV #21
Date: November 13, 2002
Location: Tennessee State Fairgrounds, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Don West

We’re getting closer to the end of the #1 contenders tournament and it’s starting to feel like Jeff Jarrett might actually reach his destiny. In theory that’s a good thing as it means he might shut up, but that’s never been in the cards for him. Other than that, Jerry Lynn is once again the X-Division Champion, which is not a bad thing. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Goldilocks sings the National Anthem in honor of Veterans Day.

Opening sequence.

Commentary runs down the card.

Here are Mortimer Plumtree and AJ Styles for a chat. Styles knows that the fans want to see Jerry Lynn defending the X-Division Title match against Kid Kash, but there is some fine print in the contract (oh yeah it’s a Russo show). Styles is guaranteed a rematch so the title match is off. Cue Lynn, who says Kash has earned a title shot so he’s already gotten the title match turned into a triple threat. So he was just assuming Styles was going to be whiny and rewarded him anyway?

EZ Money vs. Tony Mamaluke

They go with the basic wrestling to start until Money misses a charge over the top to the floor. The big suicide dive takes him out again but another dive is dropkicked out of the air. Back in and Money hits what would become known as a Buckshot Lariat as the fans certainly approve. Mamaluke grabs a quick choke to send Money to the ropes, followed by a guillotine legdrop for two. Money is right back up with a Jason Jett Crash Landing for the pin at 4:51. Makes sense, as Money is in fact Jason Jett.

Rating: B-. This was a nice fast paced opener with two guys who are trying to become a thing around here. Money feels like someone who could be something if he had a bit of a better name, though it’s going to be a bit difficult to crack through the rest of the talent. For now though, good stuff here, even without much time.

Sonny Siaki vs. Chris Vaughn

Siaki jumps him to start and hits a quick belly to belly into the corner. Some shoulders in the corner have Vaughn in trouble and Siaki ties him in the Tree Of Woe. A Samoan drop sets up three straight rolling neckbreakers to finish Vaughn at 2:07.

Earlier today, Brian Lawler was annoyed at April for taking a shower. He didn’t seem to notice Bruce being there too.

Here is James Mitchell to talk about the difference between wrestling and sports entertainment. Of course none of that matters because the New Church is all about evil. He introduces the newest member of the team in Belladonna, plus the returning Malice.

Malice vs. Kaos

Malice jumps him to start and beats him up with quite the ease. Kaos is sent outside and then thrown back inside, with Malice choking away. An overhead belly to belly and big boot set up the chokeslam as Kaos is pretty much done. A top rope knee gives Malice the pin at 2:57.

Brian Lawler vs. Jorge Estrada

April and Priscilla are here too. Lawler dances a bit and stops for a kiss from April, followed by a backdrop to the floor. Back in and Estrada knocks him back, setting up a top rope leg lariat. Lawler tries a shot with April’s purse but Estrada takes it away and wraps it around Lawler’s neck. The springboard Fameasser staggers Lawler and Estrada goes after April, who gets slapped by Priscilla. The distraction lets Lawler get a rollup with tights for the pin at 3:24.

Rating: D. This was another quick match and nothing to see, as Lawler and his stuff with April continues to be absolutely nothing. I’m not sure what the point in having this stuff continue but I’m assuming the idea is that Lawler is a name with star power. That’s all well and good, but maybe come up with something actually interesting.

Jeff Jarrett is ready to do whatever it takes to get the World Title shot. He’s ready to beat BG James and win the tournament, as apparently he’s getting a bye to the finals.

Jimmy Yang vs. Amazing Red

For a future X-Division Title shot. Red backs him into the corner to start before they go to the mat to fight over arm control. With that not working, they get back up for a test of strength, only for Red to spin around him (a lot) into a headscissors. Yang is sent outside and a sliding headscissors takes him into the announcers’ table.

Back in and Yang shoulders away in the corner, setting up an STF. That’s broken up so Red dropkicks a springboard out of the air and the pace picks up. A spinning kick to the face drops Yang and a tornado DDT plants him again. The super Code Red gives Red two and something like a Whisper In The Wind gives Red the pin at 9:43.

Rating: B-. Red is rapidly rising up the ranks and you can see the talent on full display every time he’s in the ring. That is something that can always be useful in any company, but especially in one that is still getting started. Red is standing out and giving him a title shot is a good idea.

BG James is ready to face Jeff Jarrett for the World Title match next week. Jarrett comes in and says it’s the two of them next week. They have a history together and he wants to wish James good luck, man to man. Then Jarrett jumps him.

Tag Team Titles #1 Contenders Tournament Semifinals: Lenny/Bruce vs. Spanish Announce Team

Yes we’re having a three team tournament for a title shot. Joel and Lenny start things off with Lenny doing his rather enthusiastic running of the ropes. Joel trips him down and the other two get in a fight on the floor. That’s enough for Joel to knock Lenny onto the two of them in a big crash.

Back in and a double elbow and gutbuster get two on Joel but Jose is back in for a moonsault/guillotine legdrop combination for two on Bruce. Lenny is back in with a super hurricanrana for two but Joel hits a missile dropkick. Jose comes back in to clean house and we get the, ahem, comedy landing between Lenny and Bruce. Lenny low bridges Bruce to the floor (intentions unclear) and a super Spanish Fly gives Jose the pin at 7:21.

Rating: C. See, this is a bit more like it. The Bruce/Miss TNA stuff is horrible, but it’s even more annoying when you consider that Bruce is not bad at all in the ring. He’s capable of having a fine match and that was what we saw here, as this was perfectly acceptable. Just stop with the low brow unfunny stuff and things would get so much better.

Bob Armstrong says Don Harris is fired as the head of security…but he can wrestle. BECAUSE WE NEED THE HARRIS TWINS.

Tag Team Titles #1 Contenders Tournament Semifinals: Harris Twins vs. Hot Shots

The Twins jump them to start fast and it’s Ron beating up Stevens in the corner without much trouble. Commentary points out how hard it is to tell the Twins apart, ignoring that they’re in different style gear. O’Reilly comes in to fight back but gets knocked back without much trouble. Everything breaks down and the H Bomb finishes Stevens at 3:57.

Rating: D. Yep, the Harris Brothers are still a thing and they are still the most dominant team in the company. I have no idea what the point is in having them around at such a high level but they don’t seem to be going away anytime soon. The match was basically a squash and that made for another long, dull viewing.

That’s not good enough so the Twins beat the Hot Shots up after the match.

Here is a ticked off BG James, who isn’t surprised that Jeff Jarrett attacked him again. James wants Jarrett out here right now but Jarrett says they’ll fight next week. James says something censored and says Jarrett gets it from his parents and…let’s do this now I guess.

NWA World Title #1 Contenders Tournament Final: BG James vs. Jeff Jarrett

They brawl on the floor to start and go into the crowd, with James hitting him in the head with a trashcan. The fight heads into the balcony and walk around the arena, with James sending him into a table. Jarrett is back with a chair to the head to send James through another table, which is nearly enough for a countout as they both get inside for the first time. Jarrett hammers away again and hits a Stroke onto a chair for the pin at 7:19. They were in the ring together for about thirty seconds.

Rating: D-. What was that? Other than a way to get Jarrett his, ahem, long awaited title shot, what was the point of this? It was a brawl that took place in the crowd before a tacked on finishing move in the ring. Then again, none of that matters because the whole point of the thing is to get Jarrett into the title picture, which I guess now qualifies as interesting and important.

Tag Team Titles: Disciples Of The New Church vs. America’s Most Wanted

AMW is defending and run in through the crowd to start the brawl after last week’s beating. The fight heads to the floor and Slash is already busted open as Slash suplexes him on the stage. Back at ringside and a belt shot to the head busts Storm open, leaving Slash to give him the Eye of the Storm.

A spinning cutter gives Storm two of his own but Belladonna and James Mitchell offer distractions as everything breaks down. The distraction lets Slash hit Storm in the face with the belt for two but the referee gets bumped (like it matters). The Trash Compactor compacts Slash but Belladonna jumps on Storm’s back. That’s enough for Lee to hit Storm with the spike for the pin and the titles at 9:07.

Rating: C+. The lack of a DQ over the violence is just something you learn to live with around here. What matters the most is that it feels like we’re actually getting a story here. You can only get so far with AMW beating everyone in short order so they need some actual problems. That’s what they’re getting here and the Disciples are instantly a big deal. Nice job all around.

We look back at Kid Kash becoming the #1 contender to the X-Division Title last week. Then Jerry Lynn beat AJ Styles to win the same title.

X-Division Title: AJ Styles vs. Kid Kash vs. Jerry Lynn

Lynn is defending and Styles has Mortimer Plumtree in his corner. Styles gets dropkicked to the floor to start and then a double drop toehold does it again. Lynn and Kash trade armdrags for a standoff but Styles knocks Lynn outside. Plumtree offers a distraction so Styles can hit Lynn low but Kash gives Styles a twisting hurricanrana. Kash chops Lynn into the corner and hits a moonsault press for two.

Styles’ neckbreaker gets the same on Lynn, who gets back up to fire off forearms to Kash. Lynn is sent to the floor so Kash takes him down with a big dive, with Styles following with a springboard shooting star. Back in and Styles gets two but Kash clotheslines the other two down for a triple breather. A brainbuster drops Lynn, with Styles stealing the near fall. Lynn breaks up the Styles Clash with a clothesline before Kash backdrops Styles onto Plumtree. The cradle piledriver to Kash retains the title at 10:51.

Rating: B-. You could all but guarantee this was going to be good and that shouldn’t be a surprise. As usual, you have the group of wrestlers who dominate the division, but now we’re seeing some fresh blood enter the mix. Kash probably isn’t the next bit thing, but it’s nice to see another name added in here, just for the sake of some flavor if nothing else.

Bob Armstrong gives Don West next week’s card for the big over the top hype.

Jeff Jarrett talks about Ron Killings turning some heads as champion but for Jarrett, the title match is everything. This is what Jarrett has wanted to do since he was a boy so he’ll do whatever it takes to win the title, which is the absolute truth.

Overall Rating: C-. There were good parts here but you could also see some of the darker sides of the booking coming out this week. Stuff like Lawler and the Harris twins getting so much time is hard to watch, but that was at least somewhat mitigated by some fresh talent getting a change. There are still a lot of good things about the show, but they desperately need to refocus in some areas. If that happens, the talent will be enough to carry the rest, but I’m not sure I can see that taking place.

Remember to follow me on Twitter and Bluesky @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Uncensored 2000
Date: March 19, 2000
Location: American Airlines Arena, Miami, Florida
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mark Madden, Mike Tenay

I might as well take another look at some of the shows on the WCW YouTube channel so we’ll go with something from the terrible days of the promotion. Well terrible is kind of a stretch, as I’ve always had a soft spot for this year. This is the show that tends to be more hardcore and violent, and in this case it’s YAPPAPI time. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at Lex Luger hurting Sting and various other people, so tonight Sting is back for revenge. The other big matches: Hogan vs. Flair and Sid vs. Jeff Jarrett. That’s…really not a great lineup.

Various people arrive, including someone we don’t see in a limo. That’s never good. Like, at all.

Schiavone: “We’re getting ready to break some heads!”

Cruiserweight Title: Psychosis vs. The Artist Formerly Known As Prince Iaukea

Prince, with Paisley (better known as Sharmell) is defending and we’re in the weird unmasked Psychosis (with Juventud Guerrera) era. Hold on though as the bell rings and some music plays, with Chris Candido coming out to join commentary as a surprise. Psychosis starts fast by knocking Prince outside for a big dive (Candido: “I can do that.”) but Prince is right back inside to hammer away. A running shoulder drops Guerrera for two and Prince sends him outside as Candido wonders where his own (unnamed) valet is.

Back in and Prince pulls out the hair a bit before dropping a knee for some near falls. A super hurricanrana drops Prince and they….I’m not sure what it was supposed to be but Psychosis snaps off a gordbuster. Paisley offers a distraction so Juventud kisses her, earning a whipping with his own shirt. For some reason Paisley tries to take his belt off as Psychosis hits a guillotine legdrop. Psychosis lets up on the pin for no apparent reason, allowing Prince to hit a middle rope DDT and retain at 7:21.

Rating: C-. Like most Prince matches, this wasn’t bad, but it was really, really dull. There was nothing about the Prince that made you want to see him and having him do this gimmick didn’t make things any better. Psychosis was little more than a random challenger and he added almost nothing. Finally you have Candido, who felt like a total afterthought and did pretty much nothing here, which sums up a lot of his time in WCW.

Bam Bam Bigelow isn’t sure what the Wall is doing but he’s going to stop him tonight.

XS vs. Norman Smiley/The Demon

XS is Lenny Lane/Lodi, now a couple of stereotypical party guys, but Miss Hancock comes out for commentary. She’s not happy with her for turning her down so she’s managing Smiley and Demon instead. Smiley comes out of Demon’s casket, but gets scared by the pyro. It’s a…well not really a brawl to start but Demon and Lodi fight to the floor and Norman (in Demon paint) gives Lane the Big Wiggle.

The spinning slam is broken up so Norman brings in the Demon, who gets caught in the wrong corner. A double clothesline gets Demon out of trouble and it’s back to Norman, who is quickly caught with a Skull Crushing Finale. The Demon makes the save and Norman’s Conquest gives Norman the win at 3:42.

Rating: D-. Why was this on pay per view? XS was as low level of a team as you can get and yet they were at least a regular team. Smiley and the Demon might have teamed together occasionally but it was there for the gag of Smiley as a demon and nothing more. It wasn’t funny and thankfully it was short, with Hancock sounding more like a heel than anything else here.

Post match XS blames Hancock for the loss and seem to try kidnapping her, with Demon and Norman making the save so Hancock can dance.

Billy Kidman, with Torrie Wilson, apologizes to Booker (not T., which we’ll get to later) before their tag match. Booker says if Kidman is going to be there, he needs to be there.

David Flair and Crowbar, both in neck braces, want Daphne to stay in the back. She agrees and then smiles once they leave.

We recap the Wall’s recent path of rage, involving him beating up people like Bam Bam Bigelow, David Flair and Crowbar, with Bigelow (Wall’s mentor) standing up against him. I’ve heard far worse stories.

The Wall vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

They slug it out to start and Bigelow hits a splash in the corner, followed by a clothesline to cut Wall off. A top rope headbutt connects for two but Wall is right back with a big boot. They fight out into the production area, with Wall chokeslamming him through a table for some sparks and a DQ at 3:20.

Rating: D. What was that? Well other than another TV style match which happened to be on the pay per view that is. The idea of Bigelow trying to stop the monster is fine, but could you at least let them have a decent fight first? The match didn’t even make it four minutes and Wall never felt in any real danger. Why was this here?

Immediately after the match, Crowbar and David Flair jump the Wall, with Crowbar getting him up onto the scaffolding. Wall chokeslams him through the stage in a pretty awesome crash. Ah, that’s why the match was there. Wall gets to do his signature look, which is NO WAY like Bubba Ray Dudley’s look after he powerbombed people through tables. We pause for Crowbar to be put in an ambulance as wrestlers watch.

Brian Knobbs dedicates his Hardcore Title match to Bigelow and Crowbar. Uh, thanks?

Hardcore Title: Brian Knobbs vs. 3 Count

3 Count is defending in a gauntlet match. In one of the most bizarre choices of all time (and this is WCW), Knobbs’ theme music at this point is….a rock version of My Sharona. Naturally since this is WCW, they don’t seem to get the definition of GAUNTLET match, as 3 Count goes after Knobbs at the same time. They jump Knobbs together to start but he easily fights back with trashcan shots.

The Pit Stop puts Moore and Karagias down but Helms, wearing a mask to protect a broken nose, is immune. I’m not sure that makes sense but Knobbs is sent into a ladder, setting up some splashes off of said ladder. Knobbs is back with a fire extinguisher and a chair to Helms for the first pin (Knobbs’ music plays because even WCW doesn’t get it).

The table is pulled out and Karagias is powerbombed through it for the second fall. Another table is set up but Helms is back in with a dropkick to Knobbs…whose foot it is in the ropes so it doesn’t count. In a hardcore match. Which is called a gauntlet but isn’t. Knobbs throws a ladder over the top onto Karagias and drives a trashcan onto Moore for the final pin and the title at 6:55.

Rating: D-. Do they not know what a GAUNTLET match is? If you want this to be an elimination match then fine, just call it that instead. But no, the idea is to just call it a gauntlet match when that has nothing to do with anything. You might as well say Knobbs is challenging in an Icepick Donkey match, because it has as much to do with a gauntlet as this mess did. It wasn’t even like Knobbs was in any danger here, even with 3 Count’s cool dives off the ladder. Oh and one more thing: BRIAN KNOBBS IS WINNING A TITLE ON PAY PER VIEW IN 2000. Stop that!

Harlem Heat 2000 is ready to…..I have no idea, as it’s Big T (Ahmed Johnson) yelling. Now, you might remember earlier that I said his name was just “Booker”. That’s because the story is Booker has lost the rights to the Harlem Heat material, which somehow included the middle initial T. I’m not kidding.

Vampiro talks about doing bad things and how people like Fit Finlay drive him to do them.

Booker/Billy Kidman vs. Harlem Heat 2000

Torrie Wilson, J. Biggs (Clarence Mason) and Cash (a big bodyguard) are here too. Ray stomps on Booker to start as Biggs talks about how he doesn’t care what happened to Crowbar. Kidman comes in for a dropkick so it’s off to Big T., who powers Kidman down. Booker fights up but the numbers game gets to him. Kidman is taken outside and held so Big T. can dive over the barricade to take him down.

That’s fine in theory except Big T. barely clears the barricade and only grazes Kidman, who doesn’t even leave his feet while Big T. faceplants. And that’s his post WWF run in a single moment. Back in and Big T. spinebusters Kidman for two but Kidman bulldogs Ray out of the corner. The Book End plants Ray with Big E. making the save, followed by a double spinebuster. Kidman dives in for the save and Ray is sent outside. That leaves Booker to kick Big T. into a rollup for the pin at 6:59.

Rating: D. And that might be the second best match of the night. That dive summed up everything about Big T.’s time here, as it was just embarrassing to see what used to be one of the coolest looking stars in years reduced to an embarrassment because he can’t do it anymore. Just dreadful here, with Booker and Kidman looking fine as a team but having absolutely nothing to work with on the other side.

We look at the Wall attacking Crowbar again.

Recap of Vampiro vs. Finlay. Vampiro is the young punk and Finlay is here to teach him some respect.

Vampiro vs. Fit Finlay

Falls Count Anywhere. Finlay hammers him down to start and hits a clothesline for a bonus. Vampiro is back up and hits a top rope spinwheel kick to drop Finlay, who shrugs it off again. Instead Finlay grabs a chair, which the referee takes away, allowing Vampiro to kick Finlay down again. They go outside and Finlay is sent into the announcers’ table but Vampiro gets too cocky and is sent over the barricade.

The fight heads out into the concourse and into the men’s room (where Finlay had promised to take him). Finlay slams a stall door onto his head but Vampiro is back with a trashcan to the ribs. Vampiro climbs onto the top of a stall but gets trashcanned out of the air. Now it’s time to go back into the concourse and even outside, which doesn’t last long. Finlay backdrops him onto the concrete but gets sent into concrete column. The Nail In The Coffin (Michinoku Driver) finishes for Vampiro at 8:39.

Rating: C-. I guess the idea here was to have Vampiro become a future star but…he just wasn’t very good. The spinwheel kick looked good but the rest was just a bunch of standard hardcore stuff. That doesn’t really make me want to see Vampiro do anything and he doesn’t exactly stand out. Finlay was his usual good self and Vampiro isn’t totally awful by any means, but he isn’t this next big thing that WCW seemed to think he was going to be.

Vampiro goes back into the arena to celebrate with the crowd.

Jeff Jarrett gives the Harris Twins a pep talk but they seem confident.

Disco Inferno and the Mamalukes are ready to retain the Tag Team Titles.

Tag Team Titles: Harris Twins vs. Mamalukes

The Twins, still part of the NWO, are challenging in a No DQ match. Vito and Ron start things off with Vito taking over to start, as Disco Inferno is already annoying the rest of commentary. Don comes in and hammers away but gets pounded down. A low blow drops Vito, who is right back up to knock Ron down. Johnny comes in for a double double ax handle to the chest, followed by something like the Harris’ H Bomb to Ron.

Don is back up to send Johnny outside and into the barricade, followed by a side slam back inside. The slow beating allows Johnny to fight back up with a clothesline, allowing the needed tag off to Vito. House is cleaned and a top rope elbow gets two, followed by a Hart Attack for two. Vito is sent outside so a double flapjack can connect for two more. A double spinebuster gets two more with Vito making the save. Inferno comes in and hits Ron in the face with the belt for two, leaving Ron to hit Johnny with the belt. The H Bomb gives Don the pin and the titles at 8:47.

Rating: D. The fans’ silence during this match sums up the issue: the Harris Twins are a perfect example of a team who is fine on paper but falls apart as soon as you get away from said paper. They’re just so, so, so boring and there’s no way around it. At the same time you have the Mamalukes and Disco Inferno, which a story that has gone on for so long that it stopped making sense months ago without ever being interesting in the first place. Boring match and the Twins winning the titles is about the worst result imaginable.

Fit Finlay says he beat respect into Vampiro but the better man won tonight. Now keep the fire burning from here on out.

Team Package (Lex Luger/Ric Flair/Elizabeth in a terrible name) is ready for Sting and Hulk Hogan tonight.

We recap Dustin Rhodes vs. Terry Funk, with Rhodes attacking Funk to continue the Funk vs. Dusty Rhodes feud. This resulted in Funk pulling out a chicken and saying it was Dusty’s son. Funk then knocked Rhodes out with the chicken, because that was a thing. Therefore, it’s bullrope match time.

Rhodes promises to make Funk bleed and retire him.

Dustin Rhodes vs. Terry Funk

Texas Bullrope match and yes Funk brings a chicken with him. Funk does a Foghorn Leghorn impression and says he thinks he sees a chicken in the ring. The only difference between Dusty and Dustin is Dusty is a lot fatter, but Funk has Dustin’s younger brother here. Cue a man in a chicken suit, causing Dustin to run up the aisle, where Funk hits him in the head with the chicken.

The bell rings and Funk beats him into the ring, where Funk whips him with the rope. Some left hands in the corner have Rhodes in more trouble and the cowbell to the head gets two. A low blow gives Rhodes a breather and he knocks Funk into the ropes to keep up the beating. Rhodes pounds him down on the floor and they finally bother attaching the rope about four minutes into the match. A belly to back toss gives Rhodes two and the bulldog onto the cowbell gets the same.

Cue the Chicken to go after Rhodes, who beats the Chicken up, complete with clucking sound effects. Funk is back up with a low blow and of course he wants a microphone. He’s changing the rules and now it’s an I Quit match (the previous rules said you could only win by pinfall). The referee doesn’t like that so Funk hits him with the cowbell and demands that Rhodes quit. Rhodes finally quits, which doesn’t count, so he hits Funk in the head with the cowbell again. A piledriver onto the cowbell gives Rhodes the pin (which counts) at 9:01.

Rating: D+. I have no idea what to make of this, as it wasn’t a bullrope match for a good while, but then it was kind of an I Quit match and then Rhodes won by pinfall, as is usually the case. Oh and something about a chicken. Throw in the fact that we’re doing Rhodes vs. Funk (of any generation) in 2000 and acting like fans care is bizarre enough. Even in Florida.

Sid expects Jeff Jarrett to do something stupid and he’s ready to move on to bigger and better things. Was that insulting to Jarrett? I’m not sure.

We recap Sting vs. Lex Luger, which involves Luger breaking A LOT of arms (as in probably six or seven people, many of whom were wrestling in casts on this show). Now it’s time for Sting to get revenge.

Sting vs. Total Package

This is a lumberjack match, with the wrestlers Luger has injured standing around the ring. Oh yeah and it’s THE TOTAL PACKAGE now instead of Lex Luger, because that was the big change he needed. Before Sting comes out, Luger apologizes to the lumberjacks for breaking their arms. He has a backup plan though and brings out his own lumberjacks, who have their own unnecessary casts.

Luger jumps Sting to start and the fight is on, with Sting knocking him outside. Back in and Sting gets to stomp away and the jumping elbow gets two. Luger is sent outside and the lumberjacks (including Doug Dellinger) get to stomp away. Back in again and Sting is sent outside for a change, with Luger’s lumberjacks hammering on him. Cue Tank Abbott (no cast) to knock Dellinger out and leave, because Abbott is a weird guy.

All of the lumberjacks brawl to the back, leaving Luger to chinlock Sting, as Ric Flair and Elizabeth come out. Flair and Vampiro (who was apparently still there) brawl at ringside until Flair gets inside to chop Sting. This goes as it has gone for over ten years now but Luger ax handles Sting down.

Elizabeth hits Sting in the back with the baseball bat so here is Jimmy Hart, with a Hulk Hogan weightlifting belt, to chase her off. Luger loads up the Rack but Vampiro hits him with the bat (the referee looks at it happen and glares at Vampiro, allowing Sting to hit the “Stinger” Death Drop (as Schiavone can’t even get that right) for the pin at 7:01.

Rating: D-. I’m sure he was on a huge contract and all that, but who in the world thought it was a good idea to put Lex Luger in this prominent of a role in 2000? The guy hadn’t been interesting in a very long time at this point and while the arm breaking thing was something different, it was still only going to get him so far in yet another match with Sting. The fact that this was the third decade in which they had been working together in some fashion isn’t a great sign, and the results showed badly.

Tank Abbott says he took out Doug Dellinger because he can, and accuses Dellinger of taking his money.

We recap Jeff Jarrett vs. Sid for the World Title. Jarrett keeps getting title shots and has a history of cracking Sid with a guitar. End of build.

The limo door is opened but we don’t see who is in it.

The format has been changed, as this match was scheduled to go on last. Sid’s response? “Oh let’s go.” And he heads to the ring.

WCW World Title: Sid vs. Jeff Jarrett

Sid is defending and Jarrett’s US Title isn’t on the line. Before Sid shows up, Jarrett goes on a rant about how he’s tired of getting ripped off so he has something up his sleeve. He also promises that the NWO girls will show some skin if he wins the title. Sid drops him with a clothesline to start and then pounds him into the corner for the right hands. The chokeslam is broken up with a rake to the eyes so Sid takes him outside for a slam onto the announcers’ table. The beating goes into the crowd before Sid chokes against the barricade.

Cue the Harris Brothers to jump Sid, even going inside to stay on him, as Jarrett argues with the referee in the aisle. Back in and Jarrett pounds him down, followed by the sleeper. That’s broken up so the Harris Twins offer a distraction, only for Sid to send Jarrett into the belt (as held by Don) for two. The chokeslam is broken up with a low blow and the referee gets decked (because that matters in this match). The guitar to the head knocks Sid silly and Jarrett calls in….crooked referee Slick Johnson. Hulk Hogan follows him out and cleans house, including dropping the leg on Jarrett so Sid can get the pin to retain.

Rating: D. So not only did they have a terribly dull match, but somehow, HULK HOGAN is needed to beat Jeff Jarrett. Hogan drops the leg and puts Sid on top for the pin. This is getting into 1995/6 territory of Hogan having to be there to save everyone and that’s one of the last things you want to see happen. Sid was even fine as champion, but it doesn’t matter when you’re having Hogan wedged into the top spot over him.

Post match here is Scott Steiner (apparently the person in the limousine) with a guitar to Hogan’s back. The villains wreck Hogan but Sid is up for the save. Cue Ric Flair and it’s time for the strap match.

Ric Flair vs. Hulk Hogan

Strap match, four corners variety. Flair whips and stomps away to start as Jimmy Hart (with his eyes bugging out) comes to the ring to play cheerleader. It seems to work as Hogan fights up and hammers away but Flair manages a cheap shot back inside. Some choking with the strap has Hogan in more trouble but he’s back up to whip away with the weightlifting belt.

The beating continues on the floor before Hogan rains down the right hands in the corner. A bite to the head busts Flair open and Hogan keeps hammering at the cut. Flair manages to go up and gets slammed down, with Hogan sending him outside for a clothesline. Hart gets in some whips as the squashing continues. Cue Lex Luger to chair Hogan down and leave, allowing Flair to whip Hogan back to ringside. A low blow drops Hogan again and Flair unhooks himself for the sake of chasing Hart.

They hook up again with Hart getting in as well, only to get taken down. Flair goes after the knee and drags Hogan to two corners and then a third before using a foreign object to knock Hogan silly. That’s enough to break the chain so the corners are broken…and Flair covers Hogan for two. That triggers the Hulk Up and Hogan knocks him silly to get three buckles but Luger is back. Hogan boots him down and drops a leg to pin Flair at 14:26 (the referee is fine with this).

Rating: D-. There’s a clip from Family Feud where the question is asked “Do you understand the concept of this game?”. That’s what I’d want to ask here, as it seems like they just kind of changed the rules halfway through. That’s dumb enough on its own, but they tried to do the same thing in the other match involving two people being tied together (because they did that same gimmick twice in about an hour). Hogan gets to slaughter Flair again though, because that’s what he did most of the time, and if that involves changing the rules as they go, so be it. Horrible main event, which shouldn’t be a surprise whatsoever.

Hogan touches the fourth buckle to really rub it in. Posing ends the show. Wait: why was it a big deal that they changed the order of the last two matches? That was treated as some kind of a big plot point and it didn’t seem to matter at all.

Overall Rating: R. For Reset, which is what this company did three weeks later. On April 10, WCW decided to tap out and completely relaunch everything, because the place that the shows were at, spearheaded by this one, was so bad that they didn’t think there was a way out. Think about that for a second. This show was so bad and put the company in such a place that WCW just blew up its continuity and started over. It might not seem possible to get that low, but WCW decided that was the best course of action.

And really, can you blame them? The matches ranged from passable at best to WHAT ARE WE DOING HERE, with rules literally being changed in the middle of matches and the same pairings we’ve seen for years now being trotted out again and again. The end result of the main event was Hogan pinning Flair to win a match where you have to touch all four corners. This was meant to be celebrated due to reasons beyond my comprehension.

That’s on top of the Harris Twins as the Tag Team Champions, XS, Psychosis and David Flair getting pay per view time, plus a group named Team Package and a fight over the letter T. This show was an all time disaster and I can’t blame them for just giving up. Hogan is doing some of his worst stuff here and unfortunately he’s not alone. I have no idea what good came out of this show, and apparently neither did WCW.

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Thunder
Date: January 17, 2001
Location: Allen County Coliseum, Fort Wayne, Indiana
Attendance: 4,836
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay

We’re coming off an interesting show Monday where things have changed a bit yet still feel very much the same. In this case Ric Flair is now all evil for reasons that aren’t clear (and will remain that way because this is WCW) and the remaining faces are fighting against the latest NWO. It’s certainly better than what we’ve been having but I don’t see much of a shelf life for this one. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Sunday and Monday. You know, the early part of Monday before they did this show in front of a dead crowd.

There’s a new opening.

Here are Cat and Miss Jones to get things going. Cat gets straight to the point: he wants to clean up WCW and Flair isn’t going to keep Goldberg gone forever. Well to be fair no one really believed his career was completely over anyway. Cat wants Totally Buff out here right now so here are Luger and Buff with the latter making fun of the shape of Cat’s mouth.

Luger one ups him by botching Ric Flair’s job title, referring to him as the President of WCW. I know it’s not that complicated but it’s three letters long and Luger can’t remember? Cat makes fun of Buff’s hat so they come to the ring, only to have Kronik come out for the save, prompting Cat to set up a match between them tonight. Dance time!

Here’s Kwee Wee, or Angry Alan more than likely, to issue an open challenge to anyone because he’s not happy with being left out of Flair’s group (which needs a name). Unfortunately it’s quickly answered.

Kwee Wee vs. Rick Steiner

This would be Kwee Wee’s reward for all the effort into making this stupid character work. Steiner takes him down with a suplex right at the bell and it’s time to go outside for a whip into the barricade. A wicked Steiner Line is followed by a bunch of right hands to the face as Rick asks if this is what Kwee Wee really wants. Kwee Wee doesn’t think too much of Steiner barking at Paisley but his objection is stopped cold with a German suplex, followed by the Steiner Bulldog to complete the destruction in a hurry.

Steiner says that’s it for the audition and Flair can come get him (Steiner) if he wants him.

Hardcore Title: Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Meng

Meng is defending. Bigelow jumps him to start and makes the mistake of hitting him in the head. That’s fine with Meng so Bigelow hits him in the back with a few chair shots for maybe 14% more effect. They stay on the floor with Meng going over the announcers’ table and Bigelow going into the steps. In other words, it’s the exact same thing that happens in almost every hardcore match.

Back in and Bigelow actually works on the leg because this is the match where you expect psychology. Meng shrugs it off (of course) and no sells a DDT, setting up the Death Grip. For some reason that’s not enough for a pin though and Meng goes up for a top rope splash to retain.

Rating: D. What were you expecting here? Meng wasn’t exactly someone worth seeing on his best days so having him be an even more unstoppable monster wasn’t exactly the right way to go. It doesn’t help that Bigelow had been wrestling the exact same match for at least a year and it wasn’t getting any better.

On top of that, this was it for the Hardcore Title as the WWF would sign Meng away and put him in the Royal Rumble just for the fun of it. Now some people might think WCW would put their champions under contract to make sure no one steals them away like this but they had more important things to worry about, such as finding a justification for Lex Luger being a top heel in 2001.

Glacier video.

Norman Smiley gets a fan letter back from Glacier, who says he’ll have Norman’s back. Giddiness ensues.

Team Canada arrives.

Lash Leroux and The Wall apologize to Hugh (yes they call him Hugh) about having Chavo’s back too often lately.

Don Harris now has a neck brace and will never be able to wrestle again, leaving Ron to wrestle as a singles guy. Norman comes in and challenges him to a match later. I won’t even bother making fun of this.

Ric Flair, Scott Steiner, Midajah and some women arrive. WCW does know that they tell people this is being taped on the same night right? As in the fans should know there’s no reason for Flair and Steiner to leave and come back for the second show.

Norman Smiley vs. Ron Harris

The announcers actually treat Don’s “injury” as a big serious thing because Bischoff is in charge again and announcers have to be this stupid. We hit a LONG stall session to start before Norman armdrags him down a few times. A dropkick lets Norman start dancing and it’s time to stall again.

Tony starts listing off the reasons why the Twins can’t switch again as Ron comes back in with a kick to the face. A side slam gets two so Ron throws him outside and into the barricade. That goes nowhere so Norman makes his comeback with clotheslines and a little spanking. The referee yells at Norman for attacking in the ropes and the Twins switch, allowing Don to give Norman a big side slam for the pin.

Rating: F. Norman jobs, the Harris Twins win, and it’s time for the announcers to start treating us like idiots while acting like idiots themselves. This is indeed life in WCW because Bischoff really does believe he’s smarter than everyone else and that they would actually fall for the most obvious trick in the history of wrestling.

Totally Buff vs. Kronik

Just like last week. Adams slowly powers Luger around to start but Lex has that veteran smirk on his face. I’d smirk too if I got paid this much money to do so little. A gorilla press drops Luger and a piledriver gets two with Bagwell coming in for the save. We get a double tag so Clark can powerslam Bagwell, followed by a belly to back suplex. Adams DDT’s the heels down at the same time but Luger pops up with a clothesline so the old guys (as in the bad ones) can take over. Everything breaks down and it’s Jarrett coming in with the guitar to knock Clark out for the pin.

Rating: D-. How in the world do you have a new creative team and fresh stories (well as fresh as the NWO can be) and still have the same ending from last week? This was horribly dull stuff as Luger might as well have been holding up a sign saying “I’m not trying and I get paid for it” and Bagwell was Bagwell.

Page comes out for the save but Flair and company come out to beat him down. Flair makes Page vs. Jarrett for the main event and calls the team The Elite. That might be the most overused name I’ve heard of in wrestling history.

Billy Kidman vs. Mike Awesome

Before the match, Lance Storm says the war between the Filthy Animals and Team Canada is far from over but they will have the last laugh. Kidman has bad ribs coming in but shrugs off an early beating to dropkick Awesome out to the floor. A crossbody off the apron only hurts the ribs even worse but he’s still able to hit a slingshot legdrop for two.

Awesome gets smart and throws Kidman in the air for a crash down onto the ribs, followed by a splash for a near fall. A powerslam looks to set up the Awesome Splash but it only hits mat to keep things going. Awesome hits a top rope clothesline for two but the Awesome Bomb is countered with a Bodog for two. For reasons of general stupidity, Kidman goes up for the shooting star, only to get crotched back down. Now the Awesome Bomb connects for the pin.

Rating: C+. I liked the idea of this match when it was mentioned on Nitro and it was about what I expected. These two worked a nice power vs. speed match though the ribs didn’t really cost Kidman in the end. The latest stable war isn’t the most interesting thing in the world but that’s what you get in a Bischoff run company.

The Canadians go to cut Kidman’s hair but the Animals run in for the save.

Chavo Guerrero says he was auditioning for Flair when he attacked Morrus on Monday.

Video recap of Nitro.

Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Hugh Morrus

Morrus (PICK A NAME ALREADY) runs him over to start and throws him up for a gorilla press. That means it’s time for the choking before Morrus puts him on the top, only to eat a tornado DDT for two. It’s time to start in on Hugh’s leg because this show hasn’t died enough already. After that eats up some time, Morrus (called Rection by the announcers) comes back with chops, only to get taken down into another leg lock. A sitout powerbomb plants Chavo but cue the Wall to chokeslam Morrus off the top to give Chavo the pin. The announcers are shocked and call Morrus the heart and soul of WCW.

Rating: D+. Somehow that’s one of the better matches of the night so far despite Chavo laying on the mat for a long stretch and working on the leg, which of course went nowhere. Now we get the implosion of the Misfits, which I’m sure you were all looking forward to. It’s another bad match on a LONG show full of them.

Post break, Chavo says he tried to preach to the other Misfits but couldn’t get through to them.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Before the match, Jarrett addresses the Hoosiernuts. Tenay: “Hoosiernuts? Oh we’re in Indiana.” Basically he’s smart and Page is dumb so come get yours you string bean slapnut. Page starts fast with a clothesline out to the floor but they head back inside before the announcers have to run away. Jeff gets in a few stomps but Page slugs away and gets two off a Batista Bomb. That earns Page a low blow and things slow right back down. Page blocks a kick to the ribs but eats an enziguri which puts Jarrett down as well for absolutely no reason.

Jeff breaks up a sunset flip with a right hand but kneels down so Page can pull him down for two. It’s time for the required Jarrett sleeper hold which has never won a match. Two arm drops bring Page back to life and a sleeper drop (which Tony calls a version of a Diamond Cutter because Tony isn’t that bright) puts both guys down again. A spinning Rock Bottom gets two for Page but the Diamond Cutter is countered, only to have the heels come in for the DQ.

Rating: C. Typical fine match between these two with nothing all that interesting but nothing too bad. You knew the ending was coming as we’ve flashed back to 1998 when a few basic moves were enough to bring out the troops for the DQ because things might get too interesting otherwise.

The good guys come out for the brawl with Tony saying they won’t stop until someone dies to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. Oh yeah this show has died again. This was another episode with zero effort and almost no storyline development. We have another big storyline with the heel group vs. the face group and they brawled a lot to end the show. It’s pretty clear that they’re not trying at this point, but the question is (assuming you don’t know they have two months left) what are they waiting for? A pay per view just ended and now they’re just waiting around again? For what? Another horrible show here as Thunder gets more and more worthless every week.

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Monday Night #270
Date: December 12, 2000
Location: Centurytel Center, Bossier City, Louisiana
Commentators: Stevie Ray, Tony Schiavone, Scott Hudson

It’s the go home show for the final Starrcade and the show is airing on a Tuesday, likely due to something else getting the regular timeslot on TNT. These recent shows have ranged from mostly missing to somehow shooting yourself in the foot, dropping the gun and having it shoot you in the other foot but hopefully things pick up a bit before the biggest show of the year. Let’s get to it.

This show was taped on Monday so any references to being live are pure falsehoods.

To show you how worthless Thunder is, here’s the same recap video that opened last Wednesday’s show. In other words: ignore anything on Thunder because the only show that matters is Nitro.

Lex Luger is granted a match by Mike Sanders.

Here’s Ric Flair to say we’re live (we’re not) and that we’re in Shreveport (Again not really, though the towns are about five minutes apart. Why not just have everyone say the same town?). Ric says Steiner and Sid aren’t going to come into any contact with each other in this arena. They’ll be out here talking but they’re going to hold the fighting until Starrcade. If they fight, it’s going to be a suspension and the title being stripped. As for Steiner, yeah he put Sting, Booker T. and Arn Anderson in the hospital but they could be here tonight to get some payback (I’m sure).

Sgt. AWALL is going to get a World Title match tonight and that’s finally enough to bring Sanders out to interrupt. Mike has a match of his own for tonight as the Perfect Event will face Mark Jindrak/Sean O’Haire and the Insiders in a non-title match. There goes Flair’s suit jacket and he makes Sid vs. Sanders. If Mike doesn’t wrestle, he loses his power and the Thrillers are barred from ringside.

Earlier today, Scott Steiner beat down Corporal Cajun until AWALL made the save to set up tonight’s title match. That’s better than I was expecting.

Sid is ready for tonight and for Sunday.

Jindrak and O’Haire have a monitor.

Disco Inferno insults Sarge so he yells a lot. So a guy famous for losing almost all the time is now one of the most intimidating guys in the company? That kind of stuff gets old in a hurry, but I’m not sure how many people remember Sarge in the first place.

Lance Storm/Major Gunns vs. The Cat/Ms. Jones

Before the match, Storm has an idea to make this more interesting: if Cat loses, he has to sing the Canadian national anthem on Thunder. Storm stops for the song and here comes Santa Claus (right down the steps instead of right down his own lane). That goes nowhere so here’s Cat to call Storm a Power Ranger. Cat makes the obvious stipulation of Storm having to sing if he loses too.

The women get things going with Gunns actually throwing a decent dropkick to knock her into the corner. Jones gets two off a spinning kick to the face and it’s off to the men. Cat dances out of a sunset flip and gets one of the loudest pops WCW has had in months. You could actually see the fans freaking out over the dancing. The Feliner gets two with Gunns (not Jones, Tony), putting the foot on the ropes. We get the catfight on the floor as Elix Skipper’s interference fails. Cat catches Duggan’s 2×4 and knocks Storm out for the pin.

Rating: D+. Who knew Cat was this over in Louisiana? Jones and Gunns were just there for their looks (not the worst idea in the world) and their wrestling was of course horrible. The Duggan thing is long overdue and I have no idea why they put him with the Canadians in the first place.

Jimmy Hart is starting a radio network and is ready to wrestle some Memphis DJ’s when Nitro hits the Mid-South Coliseum.

Hugh Morrus (yeah we’re going with that as the people are calling him Hugh most of the time) catches Lash Leroux (the gimmick names are mostly dead anyway) on the phone with Chavo. That’s fine with Hugh as he gives AWALL a pep talk.

Sanders adds Kronik to the three way dance, much to Reno’s annoyance.

Crowbar and Daffney are on commentary as Norman Smiley issues an open challenge for a hardcore match in the hopes that he gets a title shot as a result.

Meng vs. Norman Smiley

Meng has Paisley with him because that’s still a thing. Norman, complete with shoulder pads, gets stomped down in the corner as Crowbar is doing his Gordon Solie thing again. They head up the aisle with Norman actually getting in a few shots for some effect. Somehow DJ Ran still has a job (Why isn’t he fighting Jimmy Hart?) and a booth in the arena so the guys fight around there too. Santa tries to get involved so Meng drops him too, followed by some chops to make Norman scream. Norman steals Santa’s bag so here’s Santa in the ring to throw powder at both guys for a double DQ in a hardcore match.

Rating: F. That’s my standard rating for hardcore matches anymore because there’s no good reason to have guys like this (meaning Crowbar and Smiley) in this waste of time. I mean, they’re better than Brian Knobbs and company but there’s so much other stuff these people could be doing.

The blinded Meng puts the Death Grip on Paisley. Santa takes off the beard…..and it’s Terry Funk. Terry starts throwing chair shots but can’t put Meng down. Kwee Wee comes out too as Meng finally drops. Terry says he’s the real Santa Claus (Crowbar: “He’s my idol.”) and wants the Hardcore Title at Starrcade. Crowbar gets in the ring and the match seems to be on, earning himself a chair shot to the head.

Sarge is given Lex Luger on Thunder and Goldberg tonight.

The Harris Brother eat sandwiches because that’s a thing that actually exists in wrestling. We cut to the Filthy Animals, who put laxatives in said sandwiches.

Steiner promises to knock down anyone Flair sets up for him.

AWALL is ready and Morrus is fine with a war against Shane Douglas. Lash is facing Shane tonight but he’s using some of Chavo’s lines to Hugh’s annoyance.

Mike Sanders vs. Sid Vicious

Sanders is in street clothes and says he’s not medically cleared to wrestle. Not that it matters as Sid, also in street clothes, chokeslams and powerbombs him for the pin in about a minute.

Sid says the sucka ain’t got no class. Tony: “What is he talking about?”

Post break, Sid attacks a parking lot attendant and demands the keys to all the cars.

Kronik beats Reno down until Vito tries to make a save. The rest of the Thrillers come in to beat him down but Kronik isn’t cool because they thought Reno was a Thriller. Apparently there’s a tag match at Starrcade.

Insiders vs. Perfect Event vs. Mark Jindrak/Sean O’Haire

Non-title and the announcers talk about the Harris Twins’ sandwiches during the entrances. Nash, O’Haire and Palumbo and it’s Kevin getting superkicked a few seconds in. Stevie: “What does he call that kick?” Tony: “The Jungle Kick.” Stevie: “……ok.” Nash clotheslines them down and tags Page in for the house cleaning. Jindrak and Stasiak come in and beat Page down as well but Nash quickly comes back in for the real destruction. Palumbo gets jackknifed but Jindrak takes Nash down to set up a Seanton Bomb. Now it’s Page coming in with a Diamond Cutter on Jindrak, only to have Stasiak hit Page with a belt for the pin.

Rating: D. So to recap: Nash and Page were against four young guys, all of whom are either current or former Tag Team Champions and it took a belt shot to finally put them away. As we’ve firmly established, these stories are designed to make the older generation look good at the expense of the next generation. I don’t know how this benefits anyone but Page and Nash but I can’t wait for them to get the titles back on Sunday and set things right with the world.

The Thrillers worked over Nash’s knee during the break.

Sid is moving cars around in the parking lot.

Sgt. Dewayne Bruce vs. Goldberg

Goldberg doesn’t know who he’s facing because Jindrak and O’Haire took his monitor earlier in the night. Bruce says they have to do this even though Goldberg doesn’t want to do it. Cue Luger to say to say it’s Goldberg’s career if he doesn’t fight here. Goldberg tries to leave anyway but Sarge hits him in the back. Goldberg still won’t fight back until it’s a spear to put him down. There’s no Jackhammer though so Sarge grabs his leg and demands it. Goldberg grants the request and it’s 30-0.

Sarge is carried out on Goldberg’s shoulder.

Jamie Noble asks Kwee Wee, Paisley and Meng for advice on how to deal with Evan Karagias. Evan runs in to say they all have to come see what Sid is doing in the parking lot.

Shane Douglas vs. Lash Leroux

Before the match, Shane rants about how he’s stuck here without Torrie because of what Morrus did. Lash takes him down in a hurry and pounds away at Shane’s head before a snap suplex gets two. A suicide dive sends Shane into the barricade and it’s time to fight by the table. This has been all Lash so far and the announcers don’t sound very surprised. Back in and Shane grabs a powerslam but it’s a double clothesline to put them both down. Cue Chavo to offer Lash a chair but the distraction lets Shane load up the chain. Lash hits Shane with the chair though and that’s a quick DQ.

Shane lays him out with the chain so here’s Morrus for the save and some yelling at Chavo.

One of the Harris Twins has a stomach ache.

Sid is still playing with the cars.

Mike Awesome is ready for his ambulance match with Bam Bam Bigelow at Starrcade. Thankfully he says he’s ready for the Career Killer to come back so maybe That 70s Guy is dead.

Jarrett and company are ready for Sunday but one of the Twins isn’t looking so good. Tony finds this HILARIOUS.

Jeff Jarrett/Harris Twins vs. Filthy Animals

Elimination rules and it’s Konnan/Kidman/Mysterio. We’re not quite ready to go yet though as both Twins run to the back for some, ahem, relief. Konnan gets in an X Factor on Jarrett to start but the other Animals try to come in, allowing Jeff to get in a Stroke on Konnan for the elimination. Jeff’s music is quickly cut off because this match MUST CONTINUE! You know, because those are the rules.

Kidman snaps Jeff’s throat across the top rope for two but Jarrett suplexes Rey with one arm. A powerbomb plants Rey again but not before he tags Kidman in for a missile dropkick. The baseball slide low blow and the Bronco Buster have Jeff in trouble but the referee gets bumped. Jeff guitars Kidman but Rey springboards in with a sunset flip for the pin.

Rating: D-. This is a confusing one as it was fun while it lasted but I’d like to repeat the fact that the Harris Twins were out early because of an overdose of laxatives. Also you would think this match would be the big payoff on Sunday but why do that when you can have another hardcore match? The wrestling was actually good here but the story just crippled it, as is so often the case around here.

Video on Starrcade’s main events.

Sid almost has the ring of cars ready.

WCW World Title: Scott Steiner vs. Sgt. AWALL

Steiner is defending. Before the match, Steiner says Flair needs to thank Anderson for changing his mind about stripping the title. Steiner, in his deadly purple trunks, pounds AWALL down to start and we’re already seeming to be in squash territory. The comeback is quickly cut off with a belly to belly for two before Steiner throws him over the top. AWALL throws him over the barricade to put Steiner in trouble, setting up a powerslam for two back inside. A chokeslam looks to finish but AWALL would rather mess with the stupid table. That earns him a suplex through the table (good riddance) and the Recliner retains the title.

Rating: D. I can’t stand it when people do stupid things like AWALL messing with the table. It really does make these people look like the biggest morons in the world while also enforcing that relaxed rules nonsense. Even the WWF at the peak of its madness had some rules but this is basically ECW on a bigger stage which really doesn’t work.

Steiner chokes AWALL with the pipe until Sid gets up on screen and says since they can’t fight in the arena, come fight him in the parking lot. Scott heads outside to find a ring of cars ready for the fight because Sid may not be able to talk, but he can certainly park cars. After busting out a windshield for fun, Steiner hits Sid in the ribs with the pipe but has to fight out of a powerbomb. Steiner rams Sid’s head into the top of a car to end the show.

Overall Rating: F. Bad wrestling, bad storytelling leading into bad matches and bad everything else (save for a decent angle with Goldberg not wanting to fight his mentor). This was a show that didn’t make me want to watch Starrcade but made me not want to watch WCW again. I know the running joke is that WCW was an old folks’ home but that’s exactly what we’re getting here. The biggest show of the year has three major matches and the only one with someone young is designed to make Nash and Page look good. It really is all about the old guard as we head into Starrcade near an all time low for the company.

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Thunder
Date: August 30, 2000
Location: Tuscon Convention Center, Tuscon, Arizona
Commentators: Stevie Ray, Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay

This is another case where just getting up to a coherent show would be a huge improvement over what they had on Monday. Thunder isn’t usually the best show in the world but at least it has a tendency to make sense. Nash is the World Champion now, which could actually work if he puts Booker over at the pay per view. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap from Nitro. Normally editing things down to a few minutes works but in this case, the show is still a disaster.

Here’s Team Canada with the captured Major Gunns in the ring. Elix Skipper says “Show me the Canadian money!” Gunns has to hold the flag and rolls her eyes throughout Storm’s speech about how we all want to be Canadians. The Canadian national anthem plays so Gunns drops the flag and rips her top off to reveal an American flag bra. Cue Team Canada’s opponents.

Team Canada vs. Kronik

Storm is sent to the floor and Adams launches Skipper down on top of him. We settle down with Clark stomping away at Skipper in the corner. Tony promises the announcement of a first time ever match this coming Monday on Nitro. A double shoulder drops Skipper and he dives backwards into a full nelson slam, only to have Storm springboard in with a clothesline for two. Tony: “One, two, HE ALMOST BEAT HIM!” Yeah because the US Champion getting a pin would be shocking.

Adams clotheslines both guys down and brings in Clark for the Meltdown on Skipper for two. Storm breaks up High Times and goes for the flag, only to have Gunns jab him between the legs. The full nelson slam and High Times puts Storm away, because why not pin the US Champion in a nothing match?

Rating: C-. Not the worst power vs. speed match as I could watch Storm being that smooth in the ring all day. The guy just looks natural flying around at a level that almost no one else reaches. I didn’t like the ending but at least the match leading up to it was good enough and we’re off to a nice start.

Post match here’s General Rection comes down to try to save Gunns but the Canadians fight back, drawing out the rest of the Misfits for the save. The Canadians get away with Gunns.

The Natural Born Thrillers are ready for a limo but it’s Nash and Steiner. The new champ wants to have fun tonight “and that’s a shoot.”

We see a clip of the Thunder Tailgate Party. Ignore Vito still wearing the Hardcore Title, making this a month old at least.

Here are Steiner, Jarrett, Nash and the Thrillers (you knew the mega heel stable was coming) with Scott going first. Apparently he isn’t allowed to call Goldberg all the names he wants because the corporate sponsors won’t let him. Some villain. He got hit in the face with a pipe on Monday and has the banged up eyes to prove it. After Steiner swears a bit (that’s more like it), he promises to take care of Goldberg at Fall Brawl.

Nash talks about winning the World Title for the fifth time on Monday. Stevie: “And no one remembers the first four.” Well to be fair those, three of those reigns combined to last about two weeks. He’s watched the tape back a few times and sees why Jarrett played it so fair during the match: Jeff wanted Nash to win the title on his own, because Nash wanted to do it for the people. Gee I just thought it was bad writing.

The fans actually cheer the line (save for Daffney and the Crowbar look-a-like, who are in the audience for some reason) and Nash chuckles. All that means is more people willing to pay another $30 at an autograph signing because their picture has the belt in it. Nash touts the Thrillers as the future and says Goldberg is out in the desert so there’s no one to stop them tonight.

Cue Booker to say he has a clique of his own, so here are Vito, Awesome and the Filthy Animals. So the clique known as the Animals are part of an even bigger clique? You think you might be overdoing this faction war stuff? Booker is worried about the guys in the ring taking over WCW and the fight is on until security makes the save.

A few notes here. First, I don’t really see why this is a problem since we’ve established that Cat is more powerful than Russo. Second, this was actually a well done segment with the storyline being laid out right in front of us. That’s one area where Russo excels: he can set up a big story really, really well.

Unfortunately that brings us to the third point: we’re going to have to see where this goes and that’s Russo’s downfall. He can set stuff up but at some point he has to execute those stories and the whole thing collapses. On top of that, if you’ve seen one Russo faction war story, you’ve seen them all. Thankfully this one is off to a good start though and you have to take the little things while you can. Oh and ignore the setup having plot holes the size of Russo’s MANLY biceps of course.

Back from a break and we see Nash taking over the control booth during the commercial. Apparently he’s in charge now and sends Reno to face Mike Awesome.

Rection wants Storm at Fall Brawl. For AMERICA. And Gunns.

Wedding invitation for a week from Monday.

Reno vs. Mike Awesome

Awesome is in ring gear here, which really makes me wonder why the 70s thing existed. He doesn’t wear the stuff to the ring and wrestles the same so why do it other than to amuse the writers? Awesome elbows him in the face to start and throws him down with a German suplex for no cover.

The slingshot shoulder gets two for Mike and we hear about War Games 2000 airing this Monday on Nitro, meaning it’s the first time ever both A, on TV and B, for the World Title. Thanks for giving us a full FIVE DAYS notice for this huge match. Reno gets in a shot to the ribs but stops to go after Daffney’s boyfriend (Ozzie) for no apparent reason. Stevie: “How did they get front row seats in this venue?” Back in and Mike grabs the Awesome Bomb for a quick pin. Stevie: “BUT HOW DID THEY GET THE SEATS TONY???”

Rating: D+. Another match that didn’t have enough time to go anywhere and the Ozzie stuff didn’t make much sense. Reno is yet another guy with a great look who could have been something if he was given the chance. Awesome did his usual but he was really just a warm body here, which is yet another waste of talent.

Reno beats up Ozzie and Daffney throws popcorn.

During the break, Jarrett jumped Awesome until Jimmy Hart and Finlay of all people broke it up. I like this attacks during the break stuff. There’s something so fake about having nothing happen until we’re back from a commercial.

This week’s sitdown interview is with Paul Orndorff earlier today in the empty arena. Tony asks about Orndorff being in charge of the Power Plant. Paul calls the students his kids and he’s so proud of all of them. The Power Plant is brutal but he’s looking for the best of the best (I guess Batista isn’t considered that great).

Orndorff keeps the students working hard and has them clean the place because they need to learn that no one is above anything. Tony brings up the Natural Born Thrillers having no respect for Orndorff and claiming that it was their talent that got them here. Mike Sanders called Orndorff a miserable old man and that’s more than enough for Paul.

It’s time for an old school rant with Paul talking about how these kids are ungrateful and how they were nothing before he got hold of them. Tony keeps egging him on by saying how often the Thrillers talk like this and you can see Orndorff getting madder and madder because this is what he gets every time he tries to help someone. Really good stuff from Orndorff here as he gets the role perfectly and nailed it, as most old school guys can.

Back live and here are the Thrillers with signs about Orndorff, including “Your best match was against Vader” and “Aren’t you dead yet?” The signs are turned around to spell out WE RULE.

Steiner hits Reno with a pipe for losing.

Booker says his knee is fine and he’s ready for Mike Sanders tonight.

Tag Team Titles: Rey Mysterio/Juventud Guerrera vs. Sean O’Haire/Mark Jindrak

Jindrak and O’Haire are challenging, as ordered by Nash and company. Before we get started, O’Haire says we’ll make it fair by letting Disqo be on the team. Or we could just have a tag match but that might make too much sense. Konnan sits in on commentary. O’Haire slams Disqo down to start and hits that sweet springboard clothesline of his. Disqo gets in a few shots and wisely brings in Juvy for some quick legdrops.

Off to Rey for the Bronco Buster but he dives into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. It’s off to Jindrak who gets two off a clothesline, followed by a nice Torture Rack neckbreaker for two more. Mark misses a dropkick though and it’s off to Juvy for some dropkicks of his own. In the melee, O’Haire gets in a quick tag, allowing Jindrak to throw Juvy into the air for a powerslam from Sean.

Juvy rolls to the floor so Sean hiptosses him over the top and back inside. There’s something awesome about small people being thrown around like that. Back in and the hot tag brings in Rey as everything breaks down. O’Haire kicks Disqo in the face but Juvy breaks up the Seanton Bomb and pulls Sean down with a hurricanrana. A quick Rey legdrop between the legs retains the titles.

Rating: B-. Now this is how you do the power vs. speed formula. This worked really well back and forth, even if the idea of the champions having the advantage goes completely against face/heel psychology. Jindrak and O’Haire’s good looking tandem stuff makes up for it though, along with Juvy and Rey bumping like pinballs.

Mike Sanders gets Booker T. tonight. Jarrett comes in and says he’s booked himself in a match that could end his career. Just give us the comedy reveal already.

Steiner attacks Jindrak and O’Haire as well.

Mike Sanders vs. Booker T.

Sanders tells Booker to bring it so here’s a livid Mr. T. Booker drops him with an early clothesline and hammers away with right hands in the corner. The ax kick, side kick and Book End put Sanders away in barely a minute.

Post break Booker is limping and Sanders gets beaten down as well.

Jarrett is getting his blood pressure checked before his big intimidating match.

Big Vito vs. Chuck Palumbo

This is the result of a Vito challenge. They trade early slams for two until Vito grabs a suplex and drops the top rope elbow. The top rope headbutt misses though and Palumbo hits a nice top rope shoulder for two of his own. Not that it matters as Vito hits him in the ribs and scores with the implant DDT for another quick win. So much for Nash’s boys being, you know, good.

Steiner beats up Palumbo as well. Good for him as Palumbo should be able to last two minutes against Big Vito.

Harris Twins vs. Misfits in Action

AWOL/Rection here. It’s a big fight to start as is almost always the custom in tag matches around here. The Misfits take over with AWOL working over we’ll say Don as things settle down. Since that’s too calm for WCW, here’s Storm with Major Gunns for a distraction. AWOL goes through a table because what else is he supposed to do. The H Bomb is broken up by Rection, who loads up No Laughing Matter, only to have Skipper come out and hit him with the flag. Isn’t that disrespecting the Maple Leaf? We’re still not done though as Kronik comes in for High Times on Ron, setting up No Laughing Matter for the pin.

Rating: D. Well you knew something like this was coming. Who in the world thought we needed five people running in and a weapon shot on a quick TV match? The Misfits are another team that could go somewhere if there weren’t so many factions on the show that take up space. We’re currently at seven stables and counting (Misfits, Thrillers, Team Canada, Nash’s group, Booker’s group, Filthy Animals, Dark Carnival) so how exactly are the Misfits supposed to stand out?

AWOL saves Rection from Storm.

Leia Meow whips the Dragons for losing so much. If they don’t get better, they have to lick her boots. Ok then.

Steiner and Nash interrupt Jarrett at prayer and offer to have his back out there tonight. Jarrett has to do this himself.

Jeff Jarrett vs. ???

It’s Kwee Wee. There’s nothing else to say here and if you’ve ever watched wrestling before, you knew a swerve was coming the whole way. Jarrett jumps him at the bell as Paisley sits in on commentary. Kwee Wee gets slugged down as Stevie talks about keeping his yaks intact. A hiptoss and back elbow put Jarrett down but he sidesteps a missile dropkick.

Jeff loads up the Stroke but throws him down when Mike Awesome comes out for a distraction. A quick rollup gets two on Jeff but the referee gets rid of Awesome, allowing Jeff to….do nothing. Kwee Wee tries what looks like a powerbomb but drops Jarrett for two instead. The Stroke wraps it up pretty quick.

Rating: D. Nothing to see here as you could see the joke from the second they announced this in the first place. At least in this case they weren’t really trying to hide it which makes this a lot easier to sit through. Nash and Steiner playing along helped and at least the match was short enough.

Here’s Shawn Stasiak for an arm wrestling challenge. As you might expect, here’s Orndorff to answer as well as scare Stasiak half to death. Paul almost has it won but then punches Shawn in the face like a ticked off veteran should. There’s a piledriver for Stasiak before Orndorff grabs a chair and fights off the rest of the Thrillers. This REALLY hasn’t been their night but Orndorff is already better than most of the people on this show.

Cat and Ms. Jones get here.

Here’s Cat in the arena to call out Nash, who works for Russo who works for Cat. Therefore it’s time for Cat vs. Nash….which doesn’t actually start as Cat has to beat up Steiner and Jarrett. Nash comes in with a ball bat because THE CAT is just so tough. Jones tries to slap Jeff but gets guitared, which finally draws out Booker to help. The Thrillers come out and keep the beating going to end the show. I have no idea why the Animals, Awesome or Vito didn’t come out to help but that’s continuity for you.

Overall Rating: B-. This was the best Thunder in probably a year at least. Well at least the first half was as the rest turned into another goofy mess. The key thing here is they toned down all the ridiculous insanity and just told their big story with wrestling matches. That’s one of the things that drives me craziest about Russo: there’s good(ish) stuff buried deep under the mess, but there’s so much bad to get through that it’s hard to keep trying. Still though, awesome first hour this week and not a bad enough second hour to kill it.

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Monday Nitro #232
Date: March 20, 2000
Location: O’Connell Center, Gainsville, Florida
Commentators: Mark Madden, Tony Schiavone

Uncensored has come and gone and I think we’re all a little bit better because of that. I’m not entirely sure what you would call the big story coming off the show but I guess Scott Steiner returning for the second time this year is up there. It’s not a good time to be a WCW fan at the moment and last night gave me no reason to think that is going to change anytime soon. Let’s get to it.

Earlier today Sid arrived to a small mob of fans who are thrilled that he’s still World Champion. Maybe WCW wouldn’t be in so much trouble if they didn’t fund such massive brainwashing experiments.

Opening sequence.

Gene brings out Sid Vicious to open things up. Madden is already ripping on Hogan for coming out to help Sid when Sid didn’t need it, which sounds like we should be leading up to Sid vs. Hogan, which makes sense and would probably suck the least out of any match they could throw at us at this point. Sid is glad to finally have Jeff Jarrett off his back and loves the fact that he got to prove Jarrett wrong last night. In a sudden side trip, Sid says it doesn’t matter what you do to a pig because it’s still a pig. But what if you make it into pork chops?

Cue Jarrett because this feud MUST continue. Jarrett has pinned Sid three times in the past so it’s clear that he has Sid’s number, and Sid is only still champion because of Hogan. Sid says bring it but Jeff says he wants another title match, which Sid won’t give him. Instead, Jarrett has a solution: a tag match, and if Jeff pins Sid, he gets another shot. If he can’t though, he never asks for another shot again. The fans LOVE that idea but Jeff wants to introduce us to his partner first.

Of course it’s Scott Steiner, who would seem to be the newest member of the NWO and with some tape over his mouth with the word CENSORED written across it. Threats are made but Sid says he doesn’t need a partner, even though he could find one really easily. Cue Hogan of course, to talk about being the baddest man the NWO ever had. Hogan has seen Sid carrying the belt tall and proud, so Sid is the man to get WCW back on track. I love that they’re just admitting that WCW is in trouble on national TV. The match is on. There’s a joke there about Hogan and Teddy Long but I’ll let you guys fill in the punchline yourselves.

Tony gives us a quick recap of Uncensored. How can a thirty second speech sound so boring?

Tonight: Sting vs. Flair. Somehow that sounds like the best idea they’ve had in weeks.

Luger tells Flair to take care of Sting tonight while he takes out Vampiro. Flair rants about both of them and it’s very nice to see Vampiro being thrown into the deep end like this. You have to try that at some point, which is (arguably) the biggest knock against WCW over the years.

Ricky Rachman and Spring Breakout are still coming. Be still my beating heart.

Chavo Guerrero says he’s back to get the Cruiserweight Title and get his finances in order. He steals Gene’s wallet to help himself out.

Chris Candido vs. Lash Leroux

Paisley and the (silent) Artist are on commentary. Before the match, Candido calls himself the greatest example of a pure wrestler going today, because he doesn’t need a gimmick, costume, catchphrase of a trashy valet. Oh I’m guessing she’s coming later. Lash dropkicks Candido down to take over in a hurry but Chris quickly makes the ropes to hide. A dropkick and shoulder put Candido down again, only to have him come back with an enziguri.

Candido scores with a nice delayed vertical suplex as Madden talks about Candido winning a 10-1 handicap match. Madden: “I think Big Josh was involved.” Candido’s guillotine legdrop gets two as we discuss Madden wearing purple. Lash’s comeback is quickly stopped and a top rope superplex sets up a swan dive to give Chris the quick pin. Nice debut here and they can’t get Artist away from the title soon enough.

Lane and Rave ask Miss Hancock who she’s found to replace them. Hancock promises to debut them on Thunder: Los Fabulosos.

Fit Finlay vs. La Parka

Time for some chair dancing and VOICEOVER GUY! La Parka talks about being in the hizzouse and the 1414, meaning one for him and one for his homies. Finlay has one chance to leave before La Parka knocks the Lucky Charms out of him. La Parka tries to beg off and says that’s not his voice but Finlay beats him up anyway.

The masked man gets dropped throat first across the top rope, which might clean up some of those vocal issues. A HUGE back elbow to the jaw puts La Parka down again but Finlay goes to the floor for no apparent reason, only to avoid a plancha. Back in and La Parka loads up a crane kick, only to take a Regal Roll for another quick pin. At least La Parka is funny.

Kidman and Booker talk strategy. Madden talks Torrie’s cleavage.

Vampiro takes the cast off his hand and bangs it against the wall. The concrete kind, not the monster.

Stills of Wall vs. Bigelow, which Tony calls a collection of painful bumps.

Gene brings out David Flair and Daffney for a special message for America. This could be, dare I say it, interesting. David drags out a table and I don’t see this ending well. He talks about Bigelow and Crowbar sharing a hospital room so he wants Wall out here right now to put him through that table. There goes the neck brace and here comes Wall, who no sells a fire extinguisher blast from Daffney and chokeslams David through the table. The announcers say David can join Bigelow and Crowbar in their hospital room. Well no wonder he can’t get healthy if he gets injured in Gainsville and goes all the way to Miami for treatment.

Tony: “Right now it’s our Wolverine Boot Stomp of the Night! Ok I guess it’s not!”

To take your mind off that, here’s a centerfold of Torrie in the latest WCW Magazine.

Tag Team Titles: Harris Twins vs. Kidman/Booker

The Twins are defending. Madden brings up the NWO only needing one more belt to have them all, which makes me realize how horrible that group really is as I do not care in the slightest. Booker kicks Ron down to start and we get an early Spinarooni. Off to Don vs. Kidman with the bald guy doing a very weak tilt-a-whirl…..I guess you can call that a slam. At least it sounds better than tilt-a-whirl gently lay down. Booker comes in to take out both Twins and hits a bad looking Rock Bottom for two on Ron (jump dude), followed by the Bodog from Kidman. That’s enough for the Twins as a belt shot draws the DQ.

Torrie gets on Don’s back but gets thrown down, earning Don a chair to the head.

The Mamalukes tell Disco to get them a rematch or he’s out. Disco says it’s really their fault so Vito says Disco is out.

Total Package vs. Vampiro

So much for Vampiro’s push. Before the match, Luger tells Vampiro that this is his welcome to the major leagues but he only has a wiffle ball bat. Vampiro sneaks in through the crowd for an enziguri to start fast but Luger goes low to take over. What looks to be a Rack attempt is turned into a belly to back suplex before Luger starts kicking at the bad arm. Vampiro tries going to the floor but Luger drives an ax handle into the back and posts him for good measure.

Back in and Luger drops him with a gorilla press, which means he must be running out of moves to use. Vampiro comes back with a bunch of kicks as Tony is STUNNED that Vampiro could get in offense on someone like Luger. A top rope clothesline gets two on Luger but here’s Ric Flair, who is quickly dropped by an elbow. The distraction is enough for Luger to get in a bat shot though and the Rack is good for the submission.

Rating: D+. Dang that was close. Vampiro was getting close to get over as a young face here but Luger took him out just in time. Standard WCW formula here: the young guy gets close but can’t get the win because it just wouldn’t work to let Vampiro get a fluke win because it might hurt Luger’s spot, as if he actually might not be near the top of the card until he dies. I mean, he was a big star like eight years ago.

Sting makes the save.

Scott Steiner says it’s hard to keep a hard man down and rants about Hogan being as successful as he was because of people like Steiner behind him.

More Rachman.

Nitro Girls.

Dustin Rhodes is tired of being held down by the old guys so he’s taking them out one by one, starting with Curt Hennig tonight.

We see clips of a press conference after Uncensored went off the air last night. Oh man let’s get this over with. Sid wasn’t surprised by anything Jeff threw at him last night but here’s Hogan to officially endorse Sid but the spotlight is taken away from Sid and he doesn’t seem thrilled. This is of course totally different than the Wrestlemania VIII press conference where Hogan stole the spotlight from Sid to get on his nerves back in 1992.

Norman Smiley vs. Hugh Morrus

Smiley is past his demon phase but has gone with something far more terrifying: a Florida Gators jersey. Smiley grabs a cravate to start but Morrus elbows him in the jaw to break up the spanking dance. A butterfly suplex is countered into a sunset flip to give Norman two but another elbow puts him down again. Some dancing elbows (he’s a man of limited offense) get two for Morrus as he pulls Smiley up. A powerslam gets the same treatment before No Laughing Matter ends the destruction. That’s what Smiley gets for getting popular when WCW doesn’t want him to. Serves him right for the hard work.

Demon comes out to check on Norman but gets laid out too. So we have the popular Norman, the guy with a pop culture connection, and the one step above average power brawler. Guess who gets to stand tall.

Hennig says he’ll beat Dustin because he’s unbeatable. That doesn’t mean he’ll beat Dustin. They could just go to a draw, which means Dustin wouldn’t win but Hennig wouldn’t lose. Hennig really should get these details right.

Dustin Rhodes vs. Curt Hennig

Hennig still has a cast on. Rhodes takes him into the corner to start as Madden declares himself a Rhodes fan for how Dustin ripped on Hogan. Hennig comes back with a neckbreaker and right hands, followed by the necksnap. A big right hand knocks Curt to the floor and Dustin slams the cast into the barricade before ripping the cast off for the DQ. Really, that’s a DQ?

Dustin hits the referee but Hogan makes the save. Hogan and…..midcarders? Huh? I mean HUH??? Tony: “Thank God for Hogan.”

Sid promises to win tonight and tells Jimmy to make sure no one comes to the ring tonight.

Sting says he has to fight Ric at least one more time, but tonight Team Package is split right down the middle and, I quote, “Team Package is like two peas in a pod.” That was the funniest unintentional line in months, or maybe I’m just desperate for anything remotely amusing.

Tank Abbott vs. Barbarian

Meng is watching backstage and says not long now Tank, not long at all. WHY CAN MENG TALK??? I know he has before but again, MONSTERS DON’T TALK. Slugout to start with Barbarian getting the better of it but Tank slams him down and puts on a front facelock before the big punch knocks Barbarian out. Just a longer version of Tank’s usual stuff.

Flair starts talking as he walks to the ring but we cut to Sting for more walking.

Ricky Rachman is a thing for the third time tonight.

Sting vs. Ric Flair

This is Sting’s first match on Nitro since December. They start with a basic sequence as Sting shoulders him down, knocks Flair to the apron, clotheslines him to the floor and clotheslines him on the floor for good measure. The Stinger Splash against the barricade misses though (that’s up there with Flair’s…..whatever off the top) and Ric takes over.

Back in and Flair punches him in the jaw to drop Sting, possibly wanting to knock off Sting’s beard at the same time. It’s time to no sell chops though with a pair of press slams, including one off the top. Cue Luger who gets beaten up as well and it’s Stinger Splashes all around, setting up the Scorpion to make Flair give up.

Rating: C-. Flair vs. Sting is one of those matches that automatically receives a higher rating by definition. It’s just a hard pairing to screw up because they’re both talented and have fought so many times that it’s almost impossible for them to screw up out there. I have no idea why we’re still seeing them fight, but the terrifying reason is that they’re one of the few combinations that still might work around here. You know, of course omitting any pairing of old vs. new because those are just out of the question.

Luger and Flair beat Sting down until Vampiro makes the save.

Scott Steiner/Jeff Jarrett vs. Sid Vicious/Hulk Hogan

If Jarrett gets pinned, he can never ask for a title shot again, but if he pins Sid, he gets the next shot. Jeff ejects the girls again and tells them to warm up the jacuzzi. Hogan and Jarrett get things going with Hulk hammering away and sending Jeff face first into Sid’s boot. Sid and Hogan take turns on Jeff’s arm before Hogan goes back to his comfort zone of right hands in the corner. At least they look better than last night’s batch.

Steiner breaks up a chokeslam attempt and the bag guys take over with the bicep curl elbow getting two. Scott charges into a boot in the corner and the tag brings in Hogan to clean house. The fans chant for Hogan and Sid isn’t happy. The big boot drops Jarrett and Hogan loads up the legdrop, only to charge into a chokeslam…..for the pin due to reasons that I don’t want to understand.

Rating: D. So now they’re just flat out ripping off the main event of Wrestlemania VIII, right down to the tag match that set it up. Sid is a heel now, meaning the top faces are once again Hogan and Sting with……Vampiro in third place I guess. Bad match, but like I said earlier, do they have a better option than Hogan vs. Sid right now? Hogan vs. a monster is as simple of an idea as you can have, even in 2000.

Sid talks trash to Hogan to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. WCW at this point is in a weird place as they’re getting the most out of what they have, but the ceiling is so low on what they can accomplish that it’s not saying much. This was more watchable than Uncensored as they’re keeping the wrestling short, but the stories are just not doing it. They’re such basic ideas with people who can’t back it up in the ring and that’s not going to work in either the short term or the long term.

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Uncensored 2000
Date: March 19, 2000
Location: American Airlines Arena, Miami, Florida
Attendance: 5,000
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Mark Madden, Tony Schiavone

We had to get here eventually. This is one of the lamest sounding shows I’ve seen in a very long time and it’s not something I want to sit through again. The main event is Jeff Jarrett vs. Sid for the World Title, but the real big match is Hogan vs. Flair, because we only did that last year at this same show so it’s high time to do it again. Let’s get to it.

The opening video recaps the triple main event of Hogan vs. Flair, Sid vs. Jarrett and Luger vs. Sting. Two of those men are under 40 and that number would go down to one in about two and a half months.

Hogan and Sid have a chat in the back where they say to watch each other’s back.

Jarrett tells the Harris Twins that he has an insurance policy.

A limo is here.

The opening pyro doesn’t get much of a reaction from the people. There’s a shot of the crowd and they look like they’re about to watch an instructional film on how to properly wash their hands.

Cruiserweight Title: The Artist vs. Psychosis

Artist is defending after Psychosis beat Kaz Hayashi to earn this shot on Thunder. Their video to set this up shows Hayashi pinning Psychosis a few weeks back, but somehow that didn’t earn him a title shot. The announcers talk about the Artist dominating the division for the last few months, despite him not even having the belt for a month yet. To be fair, I doubt anyone remembers the last few months of the cruiserweights at this point. Paisley and Juventud Guerrera are the seconds here.

Before we can get going, we get more music and it’s….the debuting Chris Candido to do commentary. After a minute of no contact so Candido can come out, the Artist (and his slimming purple vertical striped shirt) charges into the corner, allowing Psychosis to hurricanrana the champ down. Artist ties him in the Tree of Woe for some lame kicks to the ribs before a superkick gets two. The ring mic seems a bit low tonight as there isn’t a ton of sound when people hit the mat.

Psychosis is sent into the steps before Artist nails a running clothesline in the corner. Instead of a chinlock, Artist pulls on Psychosis’ hair with a knee in his back. That’s rather effective. A clothesline (to the middle of the chest) doesn’t have much effect on Psychosis so he comes back with a top rope hurricanrana for two.

Psychosis plants him with a sitout gordbuster (hopefully knocking some skills into Artist’s head) and Juvy goes after an interfering Paisley, who beats him up and takes off his shirt. There’s the guillotine legdrop but Psychosis pulls away at two to yell at Paisley. Or maybe he’s asking where she got her catsuit. Artist’s middle rope DDT (with Psychosis jumping into it) retains the title.

Rating: D. I feel like I have to say this every single time he’s out there, but Artist just isn’t very good. He’s such a generic wrestler and his finisher, while cool in theory, is almost never executed properly as the other guy has to jump up to give their head to Iaukea. Bad choice for an opener here as this did nothing to fire me up for the rest of the show.

Tony throws it to Gene. “That’s how you fill some time.” Just……yeah.

Bam Bam Bigelow regrets bringing the Wall into this business because he’s going about it all wrong. Tonight, he’s finishing the Wall and showing him how to do it right. Again, this is one of the better done stories in WCW at this point.

XS vs. Norman Smiley/The Demon

Somehow this ties into Miss Hancock as she comes down to do commentary before Norman and Demon make their entrances. I’m still not sure what the story is here other than XS being jerks and messing with Demon and Hancock being annoyed at XS for dumping her. Hancock thinks XS stands for extra small.

Demon’s casket appears and Norman comes out in full Demon garb. Demon throws Rave (is that his name this week?) around to start but gets knocked outside, leaving Norman to take over in the ring. Lane takes the spanking dance (not the Big Wiggle. You don’t come back from that) and things settle down again. Hancock says she has a new tag team in Los Fabulosos: Silver King and El Dandy. Tony: “If there was ever a time to be El Dandy, it’s right now.” Demon gets double teamed as the fans LOUDLY chant for Norman. That says a lot given how small the crowd is in such a big building.

XS tries a double clothesline on Demon, but it winds up putting Rave and Demon down as Lane stays on his feet….and falls down a few seconds later. Do these people just not get physics? The hot tag brings in Norman to clean house with right hands and the swinging slam to Lane. A school boy gets two on Norman and everything breaks down as the announcers start spouting off KISS lyrics. Demon and Lane go outside, leaving Norman to put Rave in the Norman’s Conquest for the win. That was sudden.

Rating: D. Other than Miss Hancock, I have no idea what the appeal was supposed to be here. This was a lame Nitro level match with Norman being OH SO FUNNY as the Demon, even though he wrestled like he always does. Tragically for him though, the fans seem to love him so he’s dead where he stands. This didn’t need to be on pay per view but at least it killed a few minutes.

Post match XS blames Hancock for the loss and tries to kidnap her but the Screamin Demons make the save. Hancock dances with Norman. Now that deserves to be on pay per view.

Kidman and Booker argue again.

Quick recap of Wall destroying everything in his path over the last few weeks, which has mainly been David Flair and Crowbar.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. The Wall

They slug it out to start with Bigelow getting the better of it until he charges into a clothesline. Bigelow slams Wall down and hits the top rope headbutt for two. A pair of boots to the face gets the same thing on Bigelow but he grabs a running DDT for his second two. Wall comes back with a Cactus Clothesline and they fight to the back where Wall chokeslams Bigelow through a table for the DQ.

Rating: D. Well that happened. This was looking like a decent brawl until the lame ending in less than three and a half minutes. The story makes sense here and it’s good to see Wall get the better of it (this is one of those cases where leaving Bigelow laying is better than getting a win) but I don’t see this getting him anywhere because WCW.

Post match David Flair and Crowbar go after Wall with Crowbar getting in some good shots. Bigelow is loaded onto a stretcher, likely due to shock of how lame the table spot was. Crowbar and Wall wind up on the metal set and, of course, Crowbar gets chokeslammed through the wooden part of the set. Wall has a euphoric look on his face, which is totally and completely different than Bubba Ray Dudley’s euphoric look when he puts people through tables. Fans: “JUMP! JUMP! JUMP!”

Crowbar is taken out on a stretcher and this takes forever. The announcers get serious, so let’s go to Brian Knobbs, who dedicates his next match to David Flair and Crowbar. David wasn’t really hurt but let’s dedicate it to him anyway.

Hardcore Title: Brian Knobbs vs. 3 Count

3 Count is defending as a unit and this is elimination rules. Before the match, it’s time for some singing and dancing, which is more entertaining than the previous match but Knobbs interrupts. Tony actually asks how they can call this match when they aren’t sure if Crowbar is ever going to walk again and think they should stop the show. OH SCREW OFF. This comes off as trying to play off of Owen Hart’s death and Vince not stopping the show. As in a real life death being compared to a scripted bump. If that’s what they were doing, then WCW deserves to go under on this night instead of a year later.

Anyway, Knobbs brings some weapons down and shrugs off 3 Count using them against him. Shannon gets a Pit Stop but Shane (in a mask to protect his broken nose) blasts Brian in the face with a chair. They whip him into a ladder and all three dive off the top of it with splashes/a Swanton. The champs stop for some dancing but eat a big blast from a fire extinguisher, followed by a chair to Shane’s broken nose for the first elimination.

Knobbs spends a minute setting up a table before powerbombing Evan through it to get this down to one on one. Helms is back up despite being eliminated but Knobbs easily beats him down as well. Brian falls over a table with Shannon on top for three but Knobbs is in the ropes, which apparently saves you in a hardcore match. So falls count anywhere, as long as you’re not in the ropes? I felt stupid just typing something like that. Knobbs beats up Evan and Shane again before a middle rope trashcan shot to Shannon gives him the title back. Tenay: “Respectability just came back to the hardcore division!”

Rating: D-. A foot on the ropes in a hardcore match. Not only does WCW not get why the WWF’s hardcore division worked, but they also don’t get what hardcore is supposed to be about. 3 Count as champions had potential but why go with something interesting when you can go with one of Hogan’s friends?

Harlem Heat is ready.

The limo is still sitting there.

Vampiro says he’s ashamed by the things he sees and the violent things he thinks about doing. He wants to be a good person but Fit Finlay keeps pushing him to do very bad things. Tony: “You could subtitle Uncensored very bad things.”

Kidman/Booker vs. Harlem Heat

J. Biggs sits in on commentary because we haven’t had a guest commentator in a few matches now. Booker slugs away at Stevie to start as you can see five very empty seats about ten rows off the floor. You would think they would send someone out there to hide how bad that looks. Kidman comes in and loses the team’s advantage, allowing for the tag off to Big T. It’s back to Booker to clean about half the house but Harlem Heat double teams Kidman down again.

Torrie gets on the apron for no apparent reason and Biggs calls her a yak. Kidman gets thrown outside where Big T. can dive over the barricade to take him down again, causing a small earthquake in the process. Booker breaks up a cover and Biggs keeps jabbering away, only to finally shut up when Kidman DDT’s Stevie for a breather. The hot tag brings in Booker to clean the rest of the house.

The Rock Bottom gets two on T. and a second one drops Ray. Stevie isn’t the legal man though so it’s a double side slam instead, with Kidman making a fast save. Tony: “TEAMWORK!” Kidman shoves Stevie into Cash and comes in for a sunset flip on T. with Booker kicking him over to give Kidman the pin.

Rating: C-. Not terrible here and the right team won, but I don’t buy for a second that they’re going to be used properly, at least not with the Harris Twins around to suck the life out of anything that’s going on in the tag division. Kidman and Booker work well together and we got to see Torrie so this is pretty easily the best thing of the night so far.

We look at Crowbar being chokeslammed through the stage again.

Recap of Finlay vs. Vampiro, which has really just been Finlay attacking him backstage. This comes after Vampiro was getting some cups of coffee in the main event. Now he’s here.

Vampiro vs. Fit Finlay

Oh and let’s make it falls count anywhere because Heaven forbid we have more than one or two wrestling matches tonight. Finlay puts him down to start and we’re on a nerve hold thirty seconds in. Vampiro fights up and nails a top rope spinwheel kick before slowly stomping away. That’s fine with Finlay who gets a chair, but Little Naitch takes it away because this is falls count anywhere and not a No DQ match.

Instead they head outside with Finlay dropping him throat first across the barricade, meaning it’s time to fight into the crowd. It gets all the way to the concourse as they do the “grab hair and walk with me” formula. They hit the women’s room as I’m still trying to figure out why these two are even fighting like this. It goes to the men’s room for the sake of taste and Vampiro climbs onto a stall but dives into a trashcan shot. They leave again and the lights turn red before both guys head outside. Never mind as they head back inside where Vampiro sends him into a wall and The Nail in the Coffin on the concrete ends Finlay.

Rating: D. BUT WHY WERE THEY FIGHTING??? I’ve been watching the TV shows lately and I still have no idea why these two are even mad at each other. I know they’ve had issues in the back but what started it all? Vampiro is stuck back down on the card instead of doing something important because he was on the verge of mattering and WCW will not stand for that.

Vampiro walks through the crowd. Roman Reigns he is not.

The Mamalukes are ready for their title defense.

Tag Team Titles: Harris Brothers vs. Mamalukes

The Mamalukes (Big Vito/Johnny the Bull) are defending against Ron and Don. We’ll make it No DQ just so things don’t stay boring. Disco jumps in on commentary too so we can keep up the trend. Vito hammers on Don to start and the Twins take a breather on the floor. Back in and Johnny powerslams Don for two before it’s right back to Vito.

Don doesn’t know how to sell a double elbow to the jaw (hint: FALL DOWN!) and instead hits Vito low to take over. The champs take over on the now legal Ron (does it matter if he’s legal in a No DQ match?) and hit something like the H Bomb for two. Don can’t even hit Johnny from the apron properly (it looked like he was messing with his hair) but it’s enough for Ron to take over for the first time.

Don side slams Johnny for two but the Bull is able to make the tag so Vito can fire off his good looking kicks. A top rope elbow gets two on Ron and a Hart Attack gets the same. Back in and the H Bomb gets two on Vito with Johnny making the save. Disco sneaks in with a belt shot to Ron for two but Don lays everyone out with the belt and the H Bomb to Vito gives the Twins the titles. Lucky us.

Rating: D. So the boring team just beat the ok team to win the titles. Like I said, lucky us. It was a watchable match but there was no need for this to be No DQ. The Twins are one of the least interesting teams that I’ve seen in a long time and I have no idea who decided they should be in the main event scene.

Finlay admits that the better man won tonight and wants Vampiro to keep that fire burning.

Ric Flair praises Lex Luger again because that’s all he knows how to do anymore.

We recap Dustin Rhodes vs. Terry Funk, which is over how tough Dustin is compared to his daddy and then something about beating him over the head with a chicken.

Dustin says tonight is Funk’s retirement match and he’ll admit that Dustin is the American Nightmare.

Dustin Rhodes vs. Terry Funk

Bullrope match, which is TOTALLY different than the strap match later. Terry comes out with the chicken as this feud built around someone who doesn’t even work for the company continues. Funk says he has Dustin’s baby brother here and it’s a guy in a chicken suit. Even Tony seems to find this stupid. Dustin chases the chicken and walks into a left hand from the chicken in Terry’s hand.

They’re not attached yet so Terry whips him with the rope. A cowbell to the head gets two for Terry but Dustin hits him low to take over. They’re still not tied together so Dustin just hits Terry in the head over and over with the bell. They finally tie it up and Dustin gets two off a DDT. A bulldog onto the cowbell gets two for Dustin and here’s the guy in the chicken suit again. Dustin quickly lays him out for the sake of good taste but Terry crotches him on the top rope to slow Rhodes down.

There’s a low blow with the cowbell (Madden: “That’ll hurt your ding a ling.”) Funk grabs the mic and says he’s making this an I Quit match. The referee says no and gets a cowbell to the head. Dustin takes a bunch of cowbells to the head and Dustin quits. However, that doesn’t count because this is pinfall or submission only and quitting doesn’t count. I mean just……no wait, I don’t know what I mean because THAT MAKES NO SENSE. Anyway, Terry argues with the referee, allowing Dustin to hit Terry in the head with a cowbell before a piledriver onto the bell is enough to give Rhodes the pin.

Rating: D-. Good night just end this show already. I have no idea why I was supposed to care about this but I guess these families feuded like twenty years ago and since Terry Funk doesn’t know how to retire, the thing is still going. This wasn’t interesting and was all about the whole TEXAS IS AWESOME theme, which is really annoying if you’re not from Texas.

They keep fighting post match until they just stop.

Sid is ready for Jarrett.

Recap of Sting vs. Luger, which is over Luger breaking everyone’s arm, starting with Sting.

Total Package vs. Sting

This is a lumberjack match with everyone whose arm Luger has broken surrounding the ring, plus anyone Luger could find who was willing to wear a cast as well. Tony: “Mark Madden is not wearing pants.” It took you an hour and forty five minutes to notice that???Before the match, Luger tries to calm the situation down by apologizing to everyone whose arm has been broken recently.

Luger jumps Sting before he can get the trench coat (it’s not a cape Tony) off. Sting slugs him out to the floor but it’s right in front of the heel lumberjacks. Back in and Sting goes into his greatest hits catalog but the big jumping elbow ACTUALLY CONNECTS. Madden thinks Sting’s acting career is taking off to the point that he could be the next Alicia Silverstone. Luger is sent outside and the good guys, including Doug Dillinger, stomps him down. Madden: “CALL SECURITY!”

Back in and Luger sends Sting to the heel side for the same treatment. Cue Tank Abbott to punch out Dillinger, causing the lumberjacks to finally give up and brawl to the back. Luger slaps on a chinlock as only Vampiro is left at ringside. This brings out Flair to fight Vampiro as Sting makes his comeback.

Flair comes in to rake Sting’s eyes but gets splashed in the corner. Liz sneaks in with a ball bat shot to Sting’s shoulder but Jimmy Hart runs in to take Liz away. Sting kicks out at two, with the referee having to pause a bit because Sting wasn’t kicking out in time. There’s the Torture Rack but Vampiro hits Luger in the back with the bat, setting up the Death Drop for the pin.

Rating: F. How in the world are these two considered legends if this is as good as they can do? This was a HUGE mess with way too much interference and Sting looks like a loser who needed a save to make the win, even though it’s been treated like a huge victory for Sting. For some reason though, Luger is going to keep getting pushed and Flair is going to continue to be his lackey because WCW.

Vampiro and Sting hug post match. This could be a big rub for Vampiro.

Tank Abbott is asked why he hit Doug Dillinger. Tank: “Because he’s in the computer.”

We recap Jarrett vs. Sid, which is all about Jarrett hitting Sid with a lot of guitars.

The limo is opened as we’re told that the last two matches have been swapped.

Sid is surprised that he’s up next and runs off to fight. This was a totally unnecessary ten second segment.

WCW World Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Sid Vicious

Sid is defending. Before the match, Jeff says the girls will strip if he wins the title. Sid clotheslines him down to start and hits ten horrible right hands in the corner. Another clothesline puts Jeff on the floor and it’s already time to brawl. They head into the crowd and then up by the entrance with Sid in full control. Cue the Harris Twins to beat Sid down and give Jeff control.

Back in and Jarrett slugs away, earning himself a warning for clinched fists. The sleeper has Sid in trouble but he fights out and punches Jarrett out of the air. A big boot puts Jeff down but one of the Twins offers a distraction. The other Twin gets on the apron with the belt, only to have Jeff go face first into the gold for two. Another distraction lets Jeff get in a guitar shot as crooked referee Slick Johnson comes in to count. Hogan makes the save at two and cleans house to give Sid the easy pin to retain. Much like Sting, some hero.

Rating: D-. I guess this was their way of trying to keep the fans awake during the most boring title match in recorded history but it really didn’t do the trick. Instead this was messy and a borderline disaster, only saved by the fact that this was less than eight minutes long. Thankfully that’s it for Sid vs. Jeff but unfortunately it’s about a month too late.

Hogan and Sid get beaten down so here’s Flair to start the main event in a hurry.

Hulk Hogan vs. Ric Flair

This is a Yappapi strap match, which means strap match plus all the racist overtones you can find. It’s the four corners variety to make sure no one has to actually do a job (and by no one of course I mean Flair because Hogan isn’t losing to Flair as a face). Flair beats on him for a bit before they get tied up and it’s to the outside where Hogan takes over. Back in and Hulk chokes a bit as we hear about Flair still being upset over Bash at the Beach 1994. Flair chokes a lot but Hogan kicks him low.

The chops have no effect (Flair: “OH GOD I’M SORRY!”) and Hogan chokes even more. Now it’s time for punching and biting in the corner before Flair rakes the eyes. Using his new found advantage, Flair goes up top and gets slammed down. Jimmy Hart gets in some strap shots of his own and Ric is busted open.

They fight up to the ramp and here’s Luger to blast Hogan with a chair. Now Hulk is busted open too and a low blow stops his latest comeback attempt. Back in and Flair punches and chokes until Jimmy’s latest rescue attempt fails. The camera pans over and, I kid you not, the bottom section of chairs, as in the first probably twenty rows, is about 75% empty. Even TNA doesn’t have that kind of issues today.

Flair busts out the brass knuckles to knock Hogan out for two. Not two buckles or anything, but a two count, because even the wrestlers and referee don’t get the rules. Hulk makes his comeback, touches three buckles, beats up Luger again (with a boot to the hand), drops a leg on Flair for a pin, and touches the fourth corner after the bell to make it clear that he wins.

Rating: F. In the year 2000, the wrestlers and referees couldn’t figure out the rules, there was a ton of interference and Hogan somehow beat Flair twice in the same one fall match. This main evented a pay per view just two weeks before Wrestlemania. Horrible main event and a perfect ending to such an awful pay per view.

Overall Rating: F-. This was one of the worst shows I can remember and that’s what I fully expected coming in. I don’t think this one requires a long winded explanation, but here’s one of the major issues: this show runs 2:34 with 11 matches. Only two matches break nine minutes. How can WCW look at this and actually think this is the best they can do? I know the reboot is coming soon and after this, there’s almost no way they could keep going in this direction.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of NXT Reviews: The Full Sail Years Volume I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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