Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania X: How Can You Not Love This Show?

Wrestlemania X
Date: March 20, 1994
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 18,065
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

Anyone that has read my stuff over the years knows that I believe Wrestlemania X7 to be the undisputed best show ever. This is one of the small handful of shows that I actually think about for awhile before saying X7 is better. On this show are two of the best matches of all time and two world title matches, all without Hogan. This show feels like a major show and it more than lives up to the hype. Let’s get to it.

We open with a clip from the first Wrestlemania. That still holds up to this day.

Little Richard and a choir sing America the Beautiful. The first version is just Richard but the choir kicks in on the second one, making for an awesome performance.

We recap Bret vs. Owen. Expect to hear the words “we recap” a lot tonight, because there is A LOT of backstory to this show. Back in mid to late 1993, Owen was getting annoyed at Bret getting all of the spotlight, but he went along with Bret and two more brothers on a Survivor Series team against Shawn Michaels and the Knights. The Knights were easily dispatched, but late in the match Owen was knocked into Bret, sending the elder brother (Bret) into the barricade. As his family went to check on him, Owen was rolled up and pinned, making him the only Hart to be eliminated.

This sent Owen into a tirade about how Bret was always hogging the spotlight. Owen challenged Bret to a match but Bret said no way. Instead, Bret offered to team up with Owen to win the tag titles, which was enough to appease Owen. At the Royal Rumble during the title shot, Bret injured his knee and refused to tag late in the match, causing the referee to stop the match due to the injury. Owen finally snapped and kicked Bret’s bad leg out from under him, fully turning heel in an awesome and totally justified moment.

Later in the night, Bret was in the Royal Rumble. He and Lex Luger were the last two men in the match and they both went out at the same time. No one could tell who hit the ground first, so they were declared co-winners. Therefore, both guys get title matches tonight. A coin toss was determined who would get the first shot at champion Yokozuna, which was won by Lex. Therefore, Lex gets a title shot first tonight, but Bret has to face suitable competition so he doesn’t get an unfair advantage in the later match. His opponent is his brother Owen (Luger would have faced Crush is Bret had won the toss). Got all that?

Owen Hart vs. Bret Hart

For reasons I’m not clear on, the Fink isn’t the announcer tonight. They lock up to start and Owen shoves Bret away, earning himself some celebrating. Bret takes him down to the mat but Owen escapes and celebrates again. Back to the mat for some amateur stuff but Owen grabs the rope. Owen tries to take it to the mat but Bret easily counters to send him out to the floor. Back in and Owen slaps him in the face to fire up his older brother.

More amateur stuff ensues and Owen gets to do his spinning counter to a wristlock, only to pull Bret down by the hair. Bret channels his inner Shawn and nips up before getting two off a rollup. Bret takes over with an armbar and a clothesline to send Owen out to the floor. Back in again and Bret slaps the blonde Hart before rolling him up for two. Bret hooks the armbar again before getting two off a crucifix. We’re about five minutes into this now and there is absolutely nothing to complain about. They get up again and Owen hits a sweet spinwheel kick to take over before stomping Bret to the floor.

Owen rams Bret back first into the post as the anger is starting to seep out. A backbreaker sets up a camel clutch back inside as Lawler is loving this. Owen yells at his brother in a great touch to the evilness. Bret breaks it pretty quickly but walks into a belly to belly suplex for two. A cross body by Owen is rolled through by Bret for two but Owen goes straight to the back again. Owen hits a German suplex for two and drops a leg on the back of Bret’s head for two more.

Bret tries to spin out of a suplex but gets caught in a tombstone. Owen goes up top but misses a swan dive, giving Bret the breather that he’s been needing. Bret starts firing back and gets two each off a clothesline and a Russian legsweep. There’s the backbreaker followed by the middle rope elbow for two more. It’s Sharpshooter time but Owen pops up and hits the enziguri to put Bret down.

Another Sharpshooter attempt is countered by Owen and a rollup gets two on Bret. This is very fast paced stuff. Owen heads to the floor and we get LUCHA BRET as he takes out his brother. He hurts his knee in the process though and Owen is very happy. Back inside and Owen goes for the leg, wrapping it around the post a few times because that’s what villains do. Off to an inverted Indian Deathlock by Owen but he lets it go before too long.

There’s a yet to be named dragon screw leg whip followed by a Figure Four (wrong leg of course) as Bret is in big trouble. Bret reverses and rolls into the ropes to break the hold but his knee is gone. An enziguri finally puts Owen down and buys big brother a breather. A headbutt puts Owen down again and there’s the chest first into the buckle bump for Owen. A bulldog gets two on Owen as does a sweet piledriver.

There’s a superplex for a delayed two as Jerry Lawler is freaking out. A sleeper is quickly broken up by a hidden low blow from Owen and it’s time for the Sharpshooter on Bret. The older Hart slaps the mat but it doesn’t mean anything yet. Bret reverses into a Sharpshooter of his own but Owen is right in front of the ropes. Owen charges into a boot in the corner so Bret loads up a rollup, but Owen counters into a cradle for the 100% clean pin.

Rating: A+. If there’s a better opening match anywhere, I’d love to see it. This was Owen’s coming out party and he looked excellent in doing it. Bret has no shame in losing here as he didn’t so much get beat as much as he got caught. This set up a great feud over the summer for the title between these two, but it never reached this level again. There was some DEEP psychology going on out there with Bret being hesitant to fight his brother and Owen using the advantage to catch Bret in a wrestling move, all on top of the leg injury. Excellent match and one of the best ever.

Owen says he told us all he could do it and he’s absolutely right.

We look at the Wrestlemania II battle royal.

Sy Sperling of the Hair Club for Men debuts a hairpiece for Fink. I’m thinking no on this one Howard.

Bam Bam Bigelow/Luna Vachon vs. Doink the Clown/Dink

Bigelow runs over Doink to start with a clothesline and a dropkick to silence the crowd. A headbutt misses though and the Clown pounds away a bit. Bigelow misses an elbow drop and it’s off to Dink, meaning Luna has to come in as well. This is your usual “comedy” but Luna does hit a running hip attack in 619 position but Dink starts running around in circles. The small clown goes up top but misses a dive.

Vachon goes up but misses a BIG splash, allowing the big boys to come back in. Doink pounds away but is clotheslined to the floor with one shot. Dink annoys both heels but Doink comes back in, only to be sat on in a sunset flip attempt. A charges misses the big clown though and a jumping DDT puts Bigelow down. The Whoopee Cushion (top rope seated senton) completely misses and Dink is knocked to the floor. Doink tries a suplex but Bigelow falls on him for two. The top rope headbutt is enough to finish off the clowns.

Rating: D. This was bad but not completely terrible. Doink wasn’t doing his stupid comedy and thankfully Bigelow didn’t have to look all that stupid, which is the worst thing they could have done. The match wasn’t much but to be fair they needed something to give the crowd a breather after the awesome opener. This wasn’t horrible.

Bigelow tries to crush Dink but Doink makes the save.

A Bill Clinton impersonator is here. Somehow I.R.S. gets a spot in the presidential box.

Wrestlemania III was awesome!

Randy Savage vs. Crush

This is the result of a big heel turn by Crush where he cost Savage his broadcasting job. The idea was Yokozuna injured Crush but Savage didn’t come visit him, so Crush turned on him. This is a twist on the falls count anywhere match, but the deal is you have to pin someone out of the ring and the pinned guy has 60 seconds to make it back to the ring, making it more like a last man standing match actually. It’s also no holds barred.

Savage charges at Crush in the aisle but gets dropped on the barricade for a pin in about 40 seconds. Of course Savage makes it back in (despite some Fuji interference) but that’s a nice quick introduction to the concept. Savage is put in the Tree of Woe where Crush stomps away. Fuji hands Crush some salt but Randy knocks it into the evil one’s face. A top rope double ax has Crush in trouble and there’s the big elbow, but Savage has to send Crush to the floor before pinning him. Smart indeed. Crush beats the count after Fuji pours some water on his face.

Crush comes back with a kind of hot shot to send Savage to the floor, but Randy immediately comes back by sending Crush into the post. They fight into the crowd where Crush superkicks Savage’s head off. A piledriver doesn’t work on Savage so they fight into the back. Savage rams Crush into various metal objects and gets a pin, but instead of leaving he ties Crush’s feet up with a rope and hangs him upside down. It doesn’t quite work as Crush falls just after Savage leaves, but the clock was running the whole time and Savage wins.

Rating: C. Keeping in mind that this was 1994, this was pretty good. Sixty seconds was too long of an interval as it was too long before the guy was in danger. If they cut it doewn to about thirty, this would have been much better. Either way, not bad here and more proof that Savage was still a very valuable asset to Vince, but for whatever reason (not Stephanie), he was let go.

Fake Clinton says he’s a fan. I.R.S. congratulates him on raising taxes.

We see videos from Fan Fest, which was the forerunner to Axxess.

Savage celebrates with the fans. He also won a tournament for the world title at Wrestlemania IV.

Women’s Title: Lelani Kai vs. Alundra Blayze

Kai was at the first Wrestlemania if that tells you anything. Blayze is the new champion after the belt was resurrected for no apparent reason. Kai, a Hawaiian/something else hybrid, runs Blayze over but gets caught in a sunset flip a few seconds later for two. Lelani comes back with a chokebomb for no cover but a bad splash gets two.

The champ comes back with a hurricanrana before there was a name for such a thing in America. Either way it gets two and we head to the floor. That goes nowhere so Kai hits a butterfly suplex for two. Blayze comes back with some basic strikes and some hair drags for two each. Alundra hits her bridging German suplex to retain a few seconds later.

Rating: D. Was there a point to this? I didn’t think so either so let’s see what was stupid about it. First of all, the “division” had two regulars in it: Blayze and a Japanese monster named Bull Nakano. Based on that, it’s pretty clear why the division was done in just a few months, not to be mentioned again for about four years.

Roddy Piper sprayed a non-celebrity with a fire extinguisher at Mania V.

Tag Titles: Men on a Mission vs. Quebecers

The Quebecers are defending and have Johnny Polo with them. About a year later, Polo would become Raven. The Men on a Mission are Mabel (Viscera) and perhaps the most worthless wrestler that I can think of at the moment, Mo. They were purple and gold and rap with their manager Oscar. That’s about it. Before the match, here’s some big chested blonde talk show host for Shawn to hit on. Burt Reynolds, pretty clearly bombed, shows up to steal her. From what I’ve heard, Reynolds was the biggest jerk on the planet backstage at this show.

The Quebecers are the Mountie and another Canadian who dress like Mounties. True story: the Royal Canadian Mounted Police yelled at the WWF and said they had to have their song (it might have been just the Mountie actually. Not that it matters) changed to say “We’re NOT the Mounties” because the RCMP was worried about people believing they were real corrupt Mounties. Wait why am I spending this much space on this match?

Anyway the champions jump the Men before the bell but 500lb+ Mabel runs them oveand brings in Mo. Since Mo is the most worthless wrestler I can think of at this moment, he’s easily beaten down and not many people care. Mo is sent to the floor and Pierre backdrops Jacques over the top and onto the worthless one. Back in and a double hot shot gets two on Mo. This is going nowhere.

Mo comes back with a forward roll attack but the tag isn’t seen. Wait yes it is and Mabel cleans house. The champions try a double suplex on the fat man but hurt their backs in the process. They try it again and actually get it to work as Polo celebrates. Pierre hits the Cannonball (assisted Swanton Bomb) for two and Mabel starts firing back. The Men hit their double splash but there’s no referee. END THIS NONSENSE ALREADY! Mabel splashes Pierre on the floor….and it’s a countout.

Rating: F+. There was no structure, there was no flow, Mo is worthless, Mabel is fat and worthless, the ending sucked, and there was entirely too little Johnny Polo. Was there ANYTHING good about this match? Oh wait the suplex was good. To give you an idea of how bad Men on a Mission were, they accidentally won the titles at a house show around this time as Mabel was too fat to get up on a cover and Jacques couldn’t kick out.

Wrestlemania VI had the Ultimate Challenge.

We do the “celebrities” for the first title match. Basically it’s the aforementioned talk show host and a member of New Kids on the Block. Seriously, that’s it. There’s a guest referee though: Mr. Perfect. Now remember last year when Luger knocked out Mr. Perfect? Well there was never any retribution for that…..but I’m sure it won’t mean anything here right?

WWF World Title: Lex Luger vs. Yokozuna

Yoko is defending of course and there’s also backstory to this. The idea here is that last 4th of July, Yokozuna held a bodyslam challenge on board the U.S.S. Intrepid. No one could slam him and the contest was closed, but a helicopter landed on the ship and out stepped Lex Luger. He hit a running forearm and slammed Yokozuna to get the biggest face turn in years. He then went around the country on a bus, begging for a title shot because he was MADE IN THE USA.

Anyway, he got the shot at Summerslam with the catch that it was his ONLY shot. Luger did indeed beat Yoko….by countout. Therefore he was frozen out of the title picture, unless he could win the Royal Rumble. We’ve already covered that though so here’s the first title match. Luger gets a bit intro with fireworks, but do you really think New York City is going to cheer him? Especially with BRET HART in the wings? You should know better than that.

Luger pounds away like any AMERICAN hero worth his (certainly not Japanese) salt. A big right hand sends Yoko out to the floor and there’s an ax handle to the back of the head. Luger busts out a freaking TOP ROPE CROSS BODY for two and a jumping elbow for the same. Since it’s early in the match, a slam completely fails and Yoko falls on top for two. Yoko rips a buckle pad off but we hit the nerve hold for a bit instead. Luger fights out of it but Yoko rams into him to stop any comeback.

Back to el nerve hold which has been running for about five minutes total now. Luger fights up but Fuji pulls the rope down to send him to the outside. Back in and BACK TO THE NERVE HOLD. After about 87 years Luger fights up and makes his comeback….only to be knocked down by a chop. Yoko tries to send Luger into Chekov’s buckle but gets sent into it himself of course.

Luger makes his REAL comeback and hits a clothesline to put Yoko down and there’s the “slam” (more like he picked up Yoko and dropped him). The forearm knocks Yoko out but Luger has to beat up Fuji and Cornette. Perfect won’t count so Luger shoves him…AND THAT’S A DQ! Holy screwjob! That’s clearly what the fans are chanting: screwjob, not some other word that starts with s and often comes after holy.

Rating: D+. It’s rare to see Luger as the star of a match but that’s certainly the case here. That nerve hold was RIDICULOUS as it was about 80% of the champion’s “offense”, although a case can be made that he was saving strength for later tonight which is understandable. This was a callback to something that most people didn’t remember, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t fair game. Unfortunately Perfect would injure his back again after this and not be able to payoff this feud. Either way, Luger is officially a choker in the WWF and was done as a world title contender after this.

Luger and Perfect yell at each in the back.

At Wrestlemania VII, Savage and Liz reunited. The moment given here is the Blindfold match but screw that.

Here’s Harvey Wippleman to yell at Fink for having a stupid hairpiece. They get in a shoving match but Adam Bomb comes out to scare Fink. This brings out….EARTHQUAKE?

Adam Bomb vs. Earthquake

This is barely a match as Quake hits his powerslam and the Earthquake gets the pin in less than 40 seconds. This is what you call “being way over time and needing to hurry up.” I’m shocked Earthquake had a job at this point.

Cornette goes on a rant against Lex Luger and cats while also calling Todd Pettingill “Petting Zoo” before yelling about Bret Hart. Then he talks about fish and Bret starting a feeding frenzy of sharks. I could listen to Cornette ramble while still staying on point for HOURS.

The Wrestlemania VIII moment is the Undertaker. Seriously, that’s it. No mention of his match, whether he won or lost, his opponent, or anything shown other than a closeup of him walking to the ring. Just the Undertaker.

Ready for some more backstory? Back in 1993, Shawn Michaels was Intercontinental Champion but failed a drug test. To this day Shawn says he didn’t do it but that’s beside the point. We needed a new champion so Ramon won a battle royal and then a match to win the title. Shawn came back with the original belt and said he never lost, so he was still the champion. The solution? Put both belts on a ladder and let them climb up to pull them down in a classic match that might be the match of the decade.

Intercontinental Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Razor Ramon

Shawn has Diesel with him here. Diesel is told to leave but just doesn’t because that’s the kind of guy he is. Basic stuff to start with Shawn blocking a hip toss but getting chokeslammed instead. They hit the ropes to build some speed and Shawn hits a neckbreaker. Razor gets sent to the floor and there’s a clothesline from Diesel, earning him another ejection which actually works this time.

Anyway Shawn gets punched in the jaw and Razor takes over again. Shawn is knocked into the corner before a BIG clothesline puts him on the floor. Razor exposes the concrete but we head back inside before he can use it. The Razor’s Edge is loaded up but Shawn backdrops Ramon over the top and onto the concrete, possibly injuring an elbow. Shawn gets the ladder but Razor jacks his jaw to stop it. The ladder is slid inside but Shawn hits a baseball slide to knock it into Ramon’s ribs.

Back inside again and the ladder is rammed into Razor’s ribs both in the corner and on the mat. Shawn throws the ladder onto Razor’s back which looks SICK. He tosses it at Razor against the ropes and goes for a climb, only to have Razor pull Shawn’s tights down and give us a rather unpleasant (or pleasant depending on your preferences) view. Not that it matters as Shawn knocks him down and climbs again, this time hitting a pretty famous splash to crush Razor again.

Razor saves another climb by shoving the ladder over, sending Shawn onto the top rope. We get a camera shot from above the ring, showing both guys laid out on the mat. Cool shot. Back up and Michaels is whipped into the ladder in the corner, knocking him out to the floor. Razor rams the ladder into Shawn’s chest with his back against the post. If that’s not enough, Razor launches Shawn into the ladder against the apron to keep Michaels in agony.

Back in and Ramon BLASTS Shawn with the ladder to knock him to the outside again. Razor climbs up but Shawn dives off the top rope to knock him down. The ladder falls onto Shawn in the process to keep both guys on the mat. They both start to climb but the ladder is bent. Shawn is higher up but can’t hang in a slugout with Razor. Michaels gets punched down but the ladder gives way under Razor, sending him down.

Ramon climbs again but Shawn dropkicks the ladder which doesn’t topple over this time. In a smart move, Shawn pushes the ladder over onto Razor’s back to take control again. A big piledriver puts Razor down so Shawn goes to the corner. In another famous visual, Shawn rides the ladder down onto Razor, crushing him yet again. Since he’s a jerk though, Shawn puts the ladder over top of Razor, but Ramon gets up and knocks Shawn off the ladder. Michaels gets tangled in the ropes, allowing Razor to climb up to unify the titles.

Rating: A+. This is one of the matches that reignited the midcard scene after things had died down for a bit. It also paved the way for the insane style that would start to dominate about five years later. That being said, it’s still a freaking AWESOME match with some iconic spots such as the splash. It also started Shawn on the roll of a lifetime, as the next year he would be in the world title match at Wrestlemania then win the title the following year. This match is required viewing for fans.

I.R.S. and company argue in the back, so let’s just cancel a ten man tag. In other words, we’re running long and don’t have time. It happened on Raw the next night and no one remembers it.

Ted DiBiase tries to bribe Mr. President.

Wrestlemania IX’s moment is Fuji throwing salt in Bret’s eyes. We don’t see the pin for some reason though.

Videos on Bret and Yoko set up the main event.

Burt Reynolds is guest ring announcer and my goodness he makes Scott Hall look like a poster boy for AA. Oh and Jennie Garth from Beverly Hills 90210 is timekeeper. The guest referee: Roddy Piper (pause for the huge ovation) who may or may not hate Bret because of what happened at Mania 8. Nice touch.

WWF World Title: Bret Hart vs. Yokozuna

Yoko is defending if you can’t tell. Burt is barely able to read lines off a card. Hart is STILL selling the leg from earlier, because that’s how awesome he is. Yoko jumps Bret to start and the fans are already fired up for this. Bret tries to fire back with some punches but Yoko stomps him down. Piper and Cornette get in an argument as Yoko blasts Hart. The splash misses though and Bret pounds away, only to hurt his head on a headbutt.

Hart actually manages to punch Yoko down and gets two off an ax handle to the back. The champion comes back with fat man offense and drops the big leg for two. A headbutt puts Bret on the floor but he gets back in at eight. Yoko misses a charge in the corner and there’s a bulldog out of the corner to put the big man down. That only gets two though, as does the middle rope elbow. Bret keeps limping and hits the Hart Attack clothesline for a delayed two.

The belly to belly puts Bret down but Yoko won’t cover for no apparent reason. Instead he loads up the Banzai Drop, only to fall victim to the powers of gravity. It knocks the wind out of the monster, allowing Hart to hook the leg for the pin and the title as the roof is blown off of Madison Square Garden for about the fifth time tonight.

Rating: B-. While it isn’t a classic, the fans were WAY into this and it’s a feel good moment to end the show. Bret was fighting a very different kind of match here rather than he did the previous year, as here he was taking it straight to Yoko instead of sticking and moving. Very solid match here all things considered and a great way to get the giant out of the title scene.

The locker room empties out to celebrate with Bret but Owen stands in the aisle and stares down his brother to end the show.

Overall Rating: A-. This is one of those shows where the bad stuff is bad, but on the other hand the good stuff is absolutely outstanding. With two of the best matches of all time on one show it’s easily one of if not the strongest Wrestlemanias from an in ring perspective. On top of that, the show had long lasting impact as the company focus shifted to the smaller sized guys and longer matches. This was an excellent show but some of the bad stuff can be fast forwarded.

Ratings Comparison

Owen Hart vs. Bret Hart

Original: A+

Redo: A+

Bam Bam Bigelow/Luna Vachon vs. Doink the Clown/Dink

Original: F

Redo: D

Randy Savage vs. Crush

Original: C+

Redo: C

Alundra Blayze vs. Lelani Kai

Original: D-

Redo: D

Men on a Mission vs. Quebecers

Original: F

Redo: F+

Yokozuna vs. Lex Luger

Original: F

Redo: D+

Earthquake vs. Adam Bomb

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Razor Ramon vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: A+

Redo: A+

Bret Hart vs. Yokozuna

Original: C+

Redo: B-

Overall Rating

Original: A

Redo: A-

I was a bit too nice to the middle part of the show last time.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/17/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-10-maybe-the-best-mania-ever/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




On This Day: March 18, 2006 – Saturday Night’s Main Event 32: It’s Back!

Saturday Nights Main Event 32
Date: March 18, 2006
Location: Cobo Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross, Tazz

And the show is back. What used to be the biggest show of the weekend when it was on is now back! And no one cares at all. It got hype but no one watched. There’s even a main event tonight: Shawn vs. Shane. Yeah I don’t care either. It’s a build for Mania and that’s all there is to it. Let’s get this over with.

The McMahons say they’re ready for Shawn.

Shawn is ready for Shane and says a few bad words.


HHH says he’s ready for Cena at Mania. They’re using the old style of interviews to open the show which is smart. Cena, HHH’s partner tonight, runs in to make fun of it.

JBL imitates My Name is Earl. He has a drinking contest with Austin tonight.

Boogeyman acts creepy.

HHH/John Cena vs. Randy Orton/Rey Mysterio/Kurt Angle

This is Raw’s main event vs. Smackdown’s main event. That’s not terrible but there’s no realistic way that Smackdown can lose. Cena gets some hearty boos for his troubles. The remix of Rey’s music SUCKS. Cena and Orton start us off. Feel the shock! There’s a ton of smoke in the arena which makes it kind of hard to see. HHH and Angle is a big match that I would have liked to see get more time.

More or less this is just a way to get each combination of all five guys including arguing between each other. The crowd boos the heck out of Rey vs. Cena which is kind of odd. HHH and Cena argue their way into a commercial. HHH and Mysterio fight WAY too long for a multi-man match. Cena makes the Superman run and the fans openly boo.

As he goes off, naturally HHH Pedigrees him. He does the same to Rey though just to be fair. And Orton takes out Angle. No one seems to care about any of this mind you. We’re left with Cena and Orton and Cena rolls him up for the pin. That was the definition of a mess at the end there.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t interesting at all in practicality but to be fair the concept was kind of decent. Seriously though, they beat three world champions without a ton of issues and HHH leaving. How in the world does that even begin to make sense? Oh yeah it’s Cena in 2006.

We talk about the Hall of Fame inductions and list everyone off. It’s Hart and Guerrero as the headliners even though Guerrero doesn’t belong in the Hall of Fame but he died so he’s automatically great I guess.

Teddy Long checks on Booker who says he’s injured. He’s faking and doesn’t want to fight Boogeyman. I can’t blame him. I’d rather hear Sharmell shout instead. On second thought give me the worm guy.

We come back for the Cutting Edge with Foley as the guest. This was leading up to the big hardcore match that made Edge seem more legit at Mania. He of course calls Foley a coward because that worked so well in the past. Foley shows up with tacks and winds up in them. He smiles and Edge panics. It ends with Edge getting a conchairto and Foley being happy. Not bad at all and it sets up the match even more which is all I can ask for in the end I guess.

Booker was faking. Boogey is hanging upside down in his locker room and Booker runs away screaming. Now tell me what’s wrong with this. You got it. Booker is wearing the wrong colored socks. Always gray Booker. Remember that.

It’s time for the beer drinking contest between JBL and Austin.  Something tells me I know how this is going to end. JBL dances for awhile. There is a TON of beer set up in the ring. Apparently Taker is going to get called out by Mark Henry. Good to know I suppose. He runs down Detroit sports and says that they couldn’t win an inter squad game. Don’t you always lose those technically? He runs down the whole city and it’s a bit stupid indeed.

He talks about Benoit and their match at Mania and he needs to just shut up already. Finally the glass shatters and we’re ready to go. There’s actually a story here as Austin gave his list of best wrestlers from Texas and left JBL off. So they’re having a beer drinking contest. That’s completely pointless but they’re trying I guess. Austin is so smooth on the mic that it’s scary. Thankfully they point out the Texas thing. JBL says that if he didn’t have a broken hand he’s stomp a mud hole in Austin. He stomps with his hand. That’s rather stupid.

Apparently Austin has been practicing his drinking: 24 cans and 15 pitchers. Wouldn’t that like, kill him or something? It would have to bust his stomach or something. Both guys have 25 beers (Canadian apparently) and it’s the most they can drink in a minute. JBL thinks they should stand back to back and Austin doesn’t want to and JBL turns it into a Brokeback Mountain joke of all things. Austin is just destroying him here on the mic.

JBL is cheating by going early and then pouring it down his tie. Austin’s reaction is great but he gets beer thrown on him. That’s just dumb man. Benoit throws JBL back in and Austin…ok if you don’t know what he does, you have no business reading this review.

After a commercial, we’re ready for this.

Victoria/Candice Michelle vs. Mickie James/Trish Stratus

Mickie was a lesbian stalker that was hot as could be back then, including a kiss and a shower issue. Candice is on the cover of Playboy at this point also. And it’s a two and a half minute match. It’s all Trish, literally. I think the point is that they won’t let Mickie in. And Trish wins on her own anyway, only to get smacked by the hot crazy lady.

Rating: N/A. The girls looked amazing if nothing else.

Henry calls out Taker. The Druids bring out a casket and Taker beats up Henry and Daivari. Their Mania match made Henry look bad. Think about that for a minute.

Shawn Michaels vs. Shane McMahon

This is a street fight since Shane is in it. Oh I forgot to mention how amazing Lillian looks with her hair pulled back. Lillian looks amazing with her hair pulled back. Glad I got that done. We start in the aisle and Shawn is on fire. The fans want tables. Oh joy indeed. ECW is on at the moment so that makes sense I guess. Shane sends Shawn into the post to bring us to even. Vince is at ringside also.

And we have a ladder two minutes in. Well at least they’re not wasting any time with it. And Shane gets suplexed from the top of the ladder through two tables and everyone is out cold. We’re 4 minutes in mind you and it’s commercial time. Back from the break and Shawn is dominating. He goes up a ladder and Vince gets the two worst cane shots I have EVER seen. They barely made any noise!

More or less it’s a handicap match here. I was at the handicap match these guys had at Backlash and it was pretty bad. Could Ross be any more ridiculous about his insulting of Vince? It’s always freaking stupid. He has no soul and no god apparently. Yeah that’s not too far at all. More or less it’s all Shane at this point. Screw the more or less part actually. The Coast to Coast misses and Vince takes it in the face.

Never mind that it wouldn’t hurt very much at all the way they did it but whatever. Shawn makes his comeback and hits the chin music but the referee is pulled out by Vince. And then, and I can’t believe I’m typing this, Shawn is put in the Sharpshooter and Vince says to ring the bell. That’s how it ends. Yep, that’s really it.

Rating: C+. There were some good bumps but the ending made me shake my head very hard. They’re referencing it 9 years later, even though they used it a few months ago too. Anyway, other than that this was pretty good I guess but nothing masterful. Shawn can bump as well as anyone in the world and that helped a lot, but the ending was just idiotic.

Overall Rating: C+. There was one good match here and two good segments. Other than that there wasn’t much to talk about. The show tanked beyond belief so after this they more or less stopped trying to make this a big deal at all and that was likely the best thing they could have done. Not a great show, but far better than some of the others they would come out with in the future.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




On This Day: March 14, 2005 – Monday Night Raw: Pick Your Poison

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 14, 2005
Location: Gwinnett Center, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is another request. If I had known the other one was three weeks after this I’d have swapped the order. Anyway we’re on the Road to Wrestlemania here so expect a lot of HHH dominating the show. I would assume this show was requested because it has the Rockers’ reunion on it. Let’s get to it.

We open with the Highlight Reel. Jericho is on a ladder with a briefcase above him due to the debut of MITB at Mania. Jericho talks about how everyone wants to climb the ladder of success but he’s actually going to do it and will win MITB. His guest tonight has nothing to do with the ladder match though: it’s Randy Orton. He talks about how he’s facing Undertaker at Wrestlemania and how Undertaker is a Hall of Famer. Orton wants to be in the Hall of Fame as well and to do that, he needs to end the Streak. He rattles off some of his career highlights and says he’ll surprise Undertaker on Smackdown.

Jericho says that speaking of surprises, he’s got a surprise guest. Now Jericho has never faced Undertaker at a Wrestlemania, but his guest has. The guest is from Georgia, and it’s Jake Roberts, or rather a huge beer belly with a Jake Roberts attached. We get a LOUD Jake the Snake chant and Roberts, sounding like he smoked about 5 cartons of Marlboros a day, talks about Orton’s heritage. However, he doesn’t know much about Randy. Jake says it’s all about timing and talks about Orton not being champion anymore.

He’s rambling here. Jake is here to do a favor to Cowboy Bob. Roberts says to stop running your mouth. Orton says that facing Undertaker isn’t about winning or losing. It’s about leaving with your soul, which Jake should know something about. Orton says Jake knows about losing, and Orton will make more impact in one win than Jake did in his entire career. Jake goes for the snake but clotheslines Orton instead. Jake loads up the DDT but takes an RKO instead. Jericho was just kind of standing around in the background for this segment.

Kane vs. Christian/Tomko

This is due to last week’s match where Kane beat Christian but Tomko ran him over with a ladder post match. Kane goes after Tomko immediately but Christian jumps him. The team has to tag and the Canadian starts things off. Kane throws him around but it’s off to Tomko who has better luck. Back to Christian as we hear about the Pick Your Poison matches with Batista picking HHH’s opponent (Benoit) and vice versa (not yet picked). A reverse DDT puts Kane down and it’s back to Tomko. Kane sends a cheating Christian into the post and the Canadian walks out. Sidewalk slam, top rope clothesline, chokeslam and we’re done.

Rating: D. This was pretty pointless. Christian has now lost twice heading into Mania, but he has a chance at winning the world title shot still? The match was nothing as Kane was never in any danger whatsoever. I don’t get why so many people want Tomko to come back as Christian’s bodyguard. There’s not much to him.

Post match Christian tries to hit Kane with a ladder but gets glared down. Tomko takes the ladder shot.

Flair talks Snitsky into being Batista’s opponent tonight. Flair says an injury to Batista wouldn’t be Snitsky’s fault. HHH gets Benoit and Batista gets Snitsky? That’s not quite a balanced set.

Lita gives Christy a pep talk and has some guest trainers for her: Regal and Tajiri. They’re the tag team champions and this is the best they can do. Tajiri won’t do it without Christy signing his copy of her Playboy. Tajiri demonstrates some kicks and Christy tries them. Regal gets kicked in the balls. I’m looking and I see no point to this at all.

Shawn is in the back when Marty Jannetty of all people comes up. Marty is facing Angle on Smackdown and Shawn thinks Marty needs a match tonight. Tonight, the Rockers are back against La Resistance.

Edge vs. Shelton Benjamin

Shelton is IC Champion but this is non-title. Edge jumps Shelton during his entrance and throws him into the stage wall. Edge is pretty freshly heel here so he’s venting his frustrations or something like that. Down to ringside and Shelton is thrown into the steps and barricade. They finally get in the ring but Edge pounds on him even more. The referee checks on Shelton and we finally start the match.

Edge immediately knocks him to the floor and Benjamin is in big trouble. We take a break and come back with Edge holding a chinlock and bodyscissors. Shelton tries to fight back but Edge drops him again. Edge tries to load up a superplex but Shelton knocks him off and hits a top rope clothesline for two. They both hit forearms to put both guys down. Shelton goes off on him and makes his comeback.

Clothesline sets up a backdrop which sets up a Stinger Splash attempt, but Edge ducks. Shelton is like screw crashing and lands on the top rope. He comes off with a sunset flip for two but gets caught in a powerslam for two for the Canadian. Spear misses and the Dragon Whip takes out the referee. Impaler and Exploder Suplex are countered and Edge hits the spear but there’s no referee. Edge goes under the ring and pulls out a ladder, but Jericho runs out and hits Edge with it. Exploder gets the pin.

Rating: B-. Good stuff here as Shelton continued to be completely awesome at this point. Edge was about to become the big time heel that he’s known as, mainly due to the huge Lita/Matt Hardy love triangle feud that would dominate the summer for him. Good match here though as you would expect from these guys.

Rockers vs. La Resistance

This is the Conway/Grenier version. Jannetty and Grenier get us going and after some arm drags by Marty, the EVIL Frenchmen take over. There’s the tag to Shawn and we get some signature Rockers stuff, although Marty can’t do the nip up anymore. Double dives to the floor take La Resistance out but Conway low bridges Shawn to give the heels control. Conway suplexes him for two and it’s back to Grenier. Marty tries to come in and La Resistance hits a Hart Attack of all things for two. Shawn comes back with his forearm and it’s hot tag to Marty. He cleans house and hits the Rocker Dropper on Conway for the pin.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t great or anything but it wasn’t meant to be. This was about having fun and some nostalgia and in that regard, it worked. On top of that, it wasn’t a half bad tag match. Having Marty get the pin was a nice touch because there was nothing for Shawn to gain here. The idea was to have Marty get a warmup for Angle on Smackdown and that worked well here. Good stuff.

Flair tells HHH he’ll make people forget about him tapping out last week when he beats Benoit tonight. HHH gets to pick Batista’s opponent next week.

Maria asks Trish about Lita training Christy for Wrestlemania. Trish isn’t worried and goes off on Maria for it. She says she’ll get Hannibal Lecter to train her because she’s going to eat Christy alive (BIG pop for that). Maria says the Twist of Fate Christy gave Trish was powerful, so Trish massacres Maria.

Flair is with Snitsky again now and gives him a pep talk. Batista pops up and Flair yells at him, so Batista says he’s taking HHH’s title.

HHH vs. Chris Benoit

They go to the mat to start and Benoit pulls him off the ropes to slam the Game into the mat. Off to a headlock followed by chops by Benoit. Benoit tries two quick Crossface attempts but HHH gets to the floor. Flair gets the referee’s attention so HHH can throw a right hand (why would that require a distraction?) which doesn’t work either. Benoit fires off more chops and they go to the floor, with HHH going into the barricade.

Now it’s Benoit going into the barricade and we take a break. Back with a slugout being won by Benoit’s chops, but he gets caught in a spinebuster for two. HHH takes over and puts him on the top rope and they slug it out up there as well. Benoit goes off with headbutts to knock HHH down but the Game crotches him. A superplex puts Benoit down for two and HHH is getting frustrated.

HHH loads up the Pedigree but Benoit counters into a slingshot. They slug it out again and once again Benoit wins with the chops. Here are the Rolling Germans and then a second set of them. Swan Dive gets a very close two. Benoit hits his third series of Rolling Germans, getting the total up to eight. Now he pounds away with right hands in the corner but HHH manages to Irish whip Benoit into the corner.

Both guys are down but HHH gets up first. Pedigree is countered into a failed Sharpshooter so HHH tries again but is countered into the Crossface. HHH rolls out of it like he did at Wrestlemania but this time it actually works. We get MORE German suplexes, bringing the total up to nine I believe. Pedigree attempt #4 leads to counter #4, this time into the Sharpshooter. Flair tries to cheat and gets ejected but the distraction allows HHH to hit Benoit low and Pedigree him for the pin.

Rating: B+. Again, you give talented guys time and you’ll get a good match. These two destroyed each other with those Germans being very awesome. Great match and both guys got in some good stuff. The idea of HHH constantly being outwrestled and countered and having to resort to cheating to win was a great story too. Very fun match.

Hassan and Daivari come out and whine about not being on Wrestlemania. This isn’t over apparently. They weren’t on Mania anyway.

Lita says she’ll teach Christy how to beat Trish. Lita runs into Snitsky who says evil things.

Batista vs. Gene Snitsky

HHH and Flair come out to ringside for this. They stare each other down for awhile and then Batista takes over with the power. He looks down at HHH though and charges into a big boot in the corner. Snitsky goes after the knee and rams it into the post a few times. Back inside Snitsky works on the knee even more and hits a pumphandle powerslam for two. Batista comes back with a spinebuster and loads up the Batista Bomb but Flair comes in for the DQ.

Rating: D. Boring match even before we got to the lame ending. Flair became downright annoying in this period as he did nothing but praise HHH and interfere in matches related to HHH. Nothing good here but what were you expecting from a Snitsky match? The just just wasn’t that good.

Flair, HHH and Snitsky all get chairs but Kane makes the save. Batista and Kane clear the ring and HHH names Kane as Big Dave’s opponent next week.

Overall Rating: B+. Not much to complain about here other than a somewhat weak main event. It really should have been Benoit vs. HHH to end the show. Anyway, good mix of wrestling, backstage stuff and nostalgia thrown in as well. It doesn’t quite make me want to watch Mania, but by this point I think most people would have already made their decisions. Good show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




Five By Five: KB’s Favorite Matches

We close out the series with this.  Click on the link for the review of the show the match is on if applicable.  Also remember: favorite does NOT equal best.

Honorable Mention: Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels (Wrestlemania 25).  Any match that hadm e on the edge of my seat like this one did has to be on this list.

Honorable Mention: Doomsday Cage (Uncensored 1996). This is the kind of match that is so bad it’s hilarious.  It looks cool, but if you think about it for more than 8 seconds, the match goes out the window into the land of WOW THIS IS STUPID.  That can be endlessly entertaining and this one is.  Check it out, and read my review at the same time to see how many head scratchers you can find in it.

Honorable Mention: TLC II (Wrestlemania X7). Take six guys, have them beat the tar out of each other for fifteen minutes, throw in Lita taking her top off.  What more do you need to know here?

Honorable Mention: Cactus Jack vs. HHH (Royal Rumble 2000).  This is one of those matches where you didn’t know who was going to win until the very end because HHH was in so far over his head.  Everything was on Cactus’ side and the match is one of the bloodiest affairs you’ll ever see in wrestling.  this is the match that made HHH into a killer and he stayed there for years.

5. AJ Styles vs. Abyss (Lockdown 2005). I love the David vs. Goliath story and this is a great example of that idea.  The opening segment of this match with the two of them outside of the cage is as entertaining a two or three minute stretch as TNA has ever produced, bar none.  AJ is all over the place, sliding and diving and jumping to try to slow the monster down but Abyss stops him every time.  AJ finally goes straight up Superman and dives over about four rows to take Abyss down.  I get into this every time and it’s a brawl all the way through.

4. Hart Foundation vs. Demolition (Summerslam 1990). A friend of mine from WrestleZone has called this the best tag team match ever and I’m not sure he’s that far off.  This is insanely entertaining as Demolition has held the belts for months now and the Harts have about as much of a chance as I do at winning Miss Nevada 1982.  The champions cheat like there’s no tomorrow with switches and beating up the referee and whatever else they can pull off.  LOD comes out to even things up and stop the cheating and the Harts use the one opening they have to steal the titles.  It’s great and if you watch it you’ll get into it too.

3. Sting vs. Cactus Jack (Beach Blast 1992). Two of my three favorite wrestlers in a match that Foley said was his best ever for a long time.  I think you can figure this one out.

2. Shawn Michaels vs. Shelton Benjamin (Monday Night Raw – 5/2/2005). For years and years I had this as my favorite match and it’s still very hard to dop.  The idea of Shawn fighting himself from ten years ago is brilliant and the match is so incredibly crisp.  On top of that the ending is one of the best looking knockouts you’ll ever see anywhere.  From a personal standpoint, this was a turning point for me as a fan as for the first time ever I could see a story being told in a match and got way into that aspect of it instead of cheering for my favorites.

1. Sting vs. Vader (Starrcade 1992). This was always one of my favorites but the more I thought about it the more I realized how much I love it.  If I’m ever in the mood to watch something fun, this is what I throw on.  It’s the David vs. Goliath formula again….if David was 6’3 and 240lbs.  The idea here is simple: Vader DESTROYED Sting to win the world title in July but this is about revenge and some stupid tournament.  Sting had always been able to charge head first into whomever he was facing before this and beat them through pure talent, but when he tried to charge at Vader he got his block knocked off.  Instead he needs to use his brain, but since Sting is kind of stupid he tries rope a dope instead.  Sting lets Vader pound him down until Vader has nothing left and then Sting goes in for the kill.  The visuals of Sting getting beaten down more and more before FINALLY making his superhuman comeback are awesome if you can get behind an underdog, which is what Sting was coming into this.  Check this one out for sure.

 

 

 




On This Day: March 4, 1996 – Monday Night Raw: Yes, Raw Existed In 1996

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 4, 1996
Location: Cincinnati Gardens, Cincinnati, Ohio
Attendance: 8,500
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

Have you ever noticed that you never hear anything about Raw from 1994-1996? It strikes me as odd that no one every talks about it so why not take a look at an episode from one of those years? We’ve got four weeks from Wrestlemania here and Shawn Micahels is on the way to the main event to face Bret Hart for the world title. Let’s get to it.

We open with a quick preview, which says we’re going to get an announcement on the Ultimate Warrior, a film from Goldust in Piper’s Pit, plus Shawn vs. 1-2-3 Kid and Bret vs. HHH.

Shawn Michaels vs. 1-2-3 Kid

Kid tries to charge at Shawn but gets backdropped out to the floor for his efforts. The match actually starts and there’s a headlock from Kid to get us going. Kid is heel here and I believe is part of the Million Dollar Corporation, or at worst just left them very recently. Shawn speeds things up but gets elbowed in the ribs to slow him down. Kid poses a lot and gets caught in a sunset flip for two followed by a gorilla press. A clothesline puts Kid on the floor and Shawn skins the cat back in.

Bret is shown watching in the back and says some of the stuff Shawn is getting away with here wouldn’t work on him. A headlock takeover puts Kid down and Shawn cranks on the head for a bit. Back up and Kid hits a BIG spin wheel kick to take Shawn’s head off and a dropkick puts Shawn on the floor. A springboard dive over the top takes Shawn out and the Kid pounds away for good measure. DiBiase (yep Kid is still in the Corporation) gets in a cheap shot which doesn’t please Bret.

Back in and Kid stomps away and hits a quick running dropkick in the corner for two more. We take a break and come back with Kid getting two off something we didn’t see. Off to a chinlock but Shawn fights up. Kid hits an enziguri to puts Shawn back down and it’s off to the chinlock again. Back up again and Shawn hits a running clothesline and there’s the nip up. Shawn pounds away and hits a moonsault onto a standing Kid. The top rope elbow looks to set up the superkick but Kid bails to the outside. Back in again and the Kid kicks him down but a guillotine legdrop misses. Sweet Chest Music hits and we’re done.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t exactly Bret vs. Kid from a few years ago but it was still pretty good stuff. This is the kind of stuff you don’t get anymore: a main eventer getting to beat up a midcarder that he doesn’t have much of a history again. The midcard guy gets to look good because he has nothing to lose and the star gets a win over someone credible. And before you ask, no this doesn’t count when it’s the same match over and over again. Then it’s just repetitive and boring.

Post match Shawn dances with a little girl in the ring. This match is on the My Journey DVD.

We get a look at a film by Marlena called Piper’s Pit. Goldie is in a kilt and on the old Piper’s Pit set. He quotes Sunset Boulevard and says that he’s always admired Piper over the years. We hear about Piper’s lips and this is getting uncomfortable, which is the idea of the character. This goes on for a bit longer and we get the point already. Goldust plays the bagpipes and that’s that.

We look at the career of Ultimate Warrior, who is coming back at Wrestlemania.

Hakushi vs. Justin Bradshaw

Yeah it’s that Bradshaw. Roddy Piper calls in to keep us from having to watch this match. Of note to 2013 fans: Bradshaw has Uncle Zebekiah with him, who is currently known as Zeb Colter. Vince thanks President Piper for bringing back the Warrior and the opponent will be announced next week (it’s HHH). Bradshaw is running over Hakushi as we’re firmly in squash land here.

Piper promises to be in San Antonio for Raw next week as the beating continues. Hakushi gets in a few kicks but Bradshaw kicks him in the face to stop that cold. A powerslam on the floor puts Hakushi down and it’s back inside for a boot and the lariat for the pin. Total squash here that is barely too short to rate, thank goodness.

Bradshaw and Zeb hogtie and brand Hakushi post match.

Mankind talks about being a dangerous child and wondering about some evil man. This guy scared me to death as a kid.

Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Bret Hart

Non-title here. We get going with HHH taking over via a knee to the ribs. Apparently HHH is undefeated on Raw so you can tell this is early in his run. Bret comes back with a snapmare and pounds away on the ribs. Off to an armbar and other arm work as Shawn walks out to sit at ringside. We take a break and come back with Back with Bret going right back to the arm where he can stare at Shawn.

HHH fights up but gets caught by a cross body for two. Hart gets thrown to the floor right in front of Shawn who does nothing at all. Bret yells at him anyway because he’s a paranoid nutjob and even manages to stop a diving HHH with a punch to the ribs. Vince thinks Shawn and HHH might be working together. Nah that could never happen. Bret controls the arm again but HHH hits the jumping knee to put Bret down again.

HHH pounds away in the corner and Vince is starting to panic. Bret gets whipped HARD into the corner twice in a row followed by the Flair knee drop for two. We take another break and come back with HHH jumping off a rope into a raised boot from the Hitman. Vince says it was from the middle rope before calling an atomic drop a spinebuster. Bret comes back with a bulldog and it’s time for the Five Moves of Doom. The elbow gets two and Bret is frustrated, allowing HHH to get two off an O’Connor Roll.

They fight to the floor again with Bret taking control again. Trips backs away but suckers Bret in for a boot to the ribs. Not that it matters much though as HHH goes up to the middle rope and dives right into the Sharpshooter for the submission. It’s rather amusing now to hear Vince talking about his future son-in-law and the future boss of the company the way he does here.

Rating: C. Not bad here with HHH doing what he could to hang in there with Bret. You could see the flashes of skill coming through but this was about Bret getting to dominate a guy as only he could. Shawn being down there was a nice mind game being played which wasn’t something you often got outside of Undertaker back in the day.

Now it’s time for a shot at WCW as we get TV Trivia, with the contestants Billionaire Ted and some annoying chick. Basically it’s a bunch of disrespectful lines from Turner used to make fun of him. It isn’t funny and I don’t think most of the fans got the joke, nor did they care. The girl keeps beating her by making more jokes at Ted’s expense. There’s also a fake Randy Savage. You know, the guy that got thrown out by Vince and then was a big deal in WCW later on? Stupid, stupid, stupid and thankfully it ends the show.

Overall Rating: C+. Pretty good show here as we focus on the main event of Wrestlemania as we should. The rest…..it exists. The squash was exactly what it was supposed to be and the TV Trivia bit was dumb and no one cared. Vince was about to be in more trouble than even he could get himself out of, but we’ll get to that eventually.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




On This Day: February 27, 2010 – Elimination Chamber 2010: Shawn vs. Undertaker Is Set

Elimination Chamber 2010
Date: February 21, 2010
Location: Scottrade Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Attendance: 17,628
Commentators: Michael Cole, Matt Striker, Jerry Lawler

Well it’s the day after the show and thanks to me being an idiot my regular laptop is in the shop so this is my second try at this. The card looks pretty weak on paper as there are only four announced matches, including one that no one wants to see. However with two chambers it’s hard to assume this is going to be bad, although I’ve seen others that were far better looking that sucked so we’ll find out. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is of course all about the Chamber which is rather annoying but that’s how things go. Why is it annoying? Because it’s exactly what you would expect it to be, which says to me that it’s boring as all goodness. WOW that’s a lot of pyro. And the Chamber is lowered for this.

Raw World Title: Sheamus vs. Ted DiBiase vs. HHH vs. John Cena vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Randy Orton

Cena gets a VERY mixed reaction but I think it’s leaning towards more cheers than boos which is a good sign I guess. I’m digging those white ropes. DiBiase gets an ok at best reaction. I do like them giving the young guys a chance if nothing else. They get main event experience even if there’s no chance any of them win it. Ok Striker needs to drop the metaphors already.

Orton gets a POP. Just turn him already Vince. He needs it. HHH gets a pop but nothing compared to Orton or even Cena for that matter. No one has ever won more than one Chamber match. Except HHH. He’s won four. Nothing wrong with that is there? Apparently Sheamus has to get all the eliminations. Kofi and he will be starting us out. Kofi looking over his shoulder just in case is rather amusing. Kofi is rocking red tonight which is working for him.

Can someone get Armstrong a weight in his arm? EPIC RKO chant. They touch on the Orton/Kingston feud. Sweet goodness that was awesome. This three man commentary team is working really well for me. The clock runs down and it’s HHH. There’s not a ton to talk about at this point as everything here means very little. Sheamus needs a name for his Razor’s Edge as Cole just calls it that finishing maneuver.

That high knee always works for some reason. They clarify that you have to get the pin in the ring. Good to know as that’s always a question I think about in these matches. Kofi sits on the outside here and lets them fight which is very smart. Scratch that as he hits a cross body on Sheamus.

Kofi hits a sweet Boom Drop over the top rope onto HHH. That looked great. Clock starts up again and it’s Orton to a nice pop. He’s beating the heck out of everyone. This guy is dying to be a face already Vince. Can you not see that? He’s beating the tar out of Sheamus and HHH which is awesome. SHUT UP STRIKER. It’s not a metal thing with fangs. It’s a cage blast it.

The fans want blood. Kofi takes everyone out with a huge dive. He’s getting a lot of big spots in this. He goes for another but Orton catches him with a dropkick. Nice indeed. Everyone goes for their finisher and no one gets it. Orton’s head slams into the post. That looked SICK. In at 5 is DiBiase.

I love that falling punch. Orton and DiBiase team up and beat down just about everyone. They shove Kofi’s head through the Chamber wall and DiBiase puts a Boston Crab on him. Orton gives HHH the elevated DDT onto the cage. That would hurt indeed. He and DiBiase wait on Cena outside his pod so of course he plows through them. He cleans house and hits an FU over the top rope on DiBiase.

DiBiase is in the STF and his leg isn’t supposed to bend like that! Rhodes is here with a pipe. DiBiase hits Orton with it as he’s in the FU and then takes Cena down with it. Ted pins Orton so we’re at five. Kofi puts him out with Trouble in Paradise and Sheamus hits his two move combination to take Kofi out so it’s Sheamus, HHH and Cena left. The pale one takes over and for NO apparent reason, HHH saves Cena.

And of course HHH gets to pin Sheamus first. So at the moment is the title vacant or is Sheamus technically champion as the match he’s defending in isn’t over yet? I’m not sure. A few seconds later Cena gets the STF and HHH taps. I’ve read some posts saying HHH might not have been tapping. What show were you watching? Yeah he was tapping.

Rating: B+. Solid stuff here. It’s missing that little something extra to make it a classic but this is certainly more than good stuff. The timing here was solid as we had enough to keep it from being too short but not enough to get boring. Half an hour is just about perfect I think. Also there was the fact that all of the guys in here were given a chance to showcase themselves, especially Kofi. He stole the show out there and it worked very well. Very good stuff here.

Cena is celebrating and Vince’s music hits. Yep, there’s another match and it’s with Batista. Not going to bother with giving it a formal introduction. It’s 30 seconds long and Batista hits the spear and Batista Bomb for the title. This is what people complain about when they say the amount of title reigns mean nothing anymore. The angle is awesome though.

Mania video.

We recap the Bret/Vince feud. Good video but it has zero to do with what’s going on at the moment.

Intercontinental Title: Drew McIntyre vs. Kane

Never seen Drew’s intro before. That was indeed as sweet as it’s made out to be. Can we give Kane something though? The guy has jobbed more than anyone in history and what does he have to show for it? Very little that I can see. He deserves to have something at some point. I love that uppercut that Kane uses. It’s just sweet.

His in ring stuff is very good overall. We get a great stat: 20% of IC Champions go on to be world champions. That’s something most people wouldn’t pick up on. And yes I’m a Kane mark so get over it. I didn’t realize Drew was that big. And let’s talk about the Raw world title again. Drew goes for the knee. And then the arm. Make that the ribs. PICK SOMETHING BLAST IT. Ok it’s the arm. Better than nothing I guess.

Both guys hit big boots which there’s just something cool about. I mean how awesome is it to just kick someone in the face? Kane hits the clothesline from the top and shakes his arm to sell the injury even more. The chokeslam is countered and it’s still Kane in control. The ramp seems exceedingly short for some reason.

And after Kane dominates 80% of the match a thumb to the eye and the double arm DDT ends it. Never been a fan of that, at least not a setup like a thumb to the eye. I like Drew’s look with the belt if nothing else.

Rating: B-. Not bad but nothing that jumps off the page here. The ending was just bad to me. Kane DOMINATED for about 80% of the match and a thumb to the eye is enough to stop him dead? That doesn’t do it for me. Even a knee or something small like that would have made it a lot better. Still though, the purpose here was to give Drew more credibility and that was certainly accomplished so big points for that.

We get the EPIC, yes EPIC I say, reveal of Gail being able to speak French and knows Maryse has being insulting her. Gail CANNOT ACT. I said in the LD that this is getting to Stephanie levels. Oh and the Smackdown Divas aren’t sexy apparently.

Raw Womens Title: Gail Kimvs. Maryse

So this is the final of the tournament that has gone on forever to replace Melina who is injured now. No one cares about this anyway. And Vickie has something to say. Apparently the Smackdown Divas don’t like being left off the show so we’re getting a tag match with Raw vs. Smackdown. For the love of cheese and crackers, no one cares. Whatever. Oh and Striker has something close to a racist joke as he says once you watch a Gail Kim match you want to see another 20 minutes later.

GailKim/Marysevs. MichelleMcCool/Layla

Oy seriously? For the life of me I do not get this. Maryse would beat Gail clean the next night anyway, so what the heck is the point to this? I just do not get it. To be fair I don’t care enough to figure it out anyway so there we go. Yep the Smackdown girls are way hotter. Gail and Layla start us off and it’s not very good at all. Basically Maryse refuses to tag in and it’s a handicap match. Yep she won’t tag and Michelle kicks the tar out of Gail and the Styles Clash ends it. Maryse beats her up afterwards.

Rating: N/A. I have no idea what the point of this was unless they’re setting up to unify the titles at Mania or something like that. This was a waste of time and the only perk were the looks of Michelle and Layla.

Ad for NXT.

Miz talks about Daniel Bryan and makes fun of St. Louis. MVP interrupts him and of course he’s got another title shot tonight.

Regal comes out to talk about his rookie for NXT. Edge interrupts Regal’s standard great heel promo to talk about how he’s going to make his pick tomorrow on Raw. It’s Jericho in case you didn’t know by now. Regal gets speared for no reason at all.

Another ad for Mania. I really hate the theme song they’re playing the entire time.

US Title: Miz vs. MVP

I love Miz’s theme music I think. Both guys have their fat tag partners with them. He really does look awesome with all that gold. And the Kool Aid Man is still fat. Naturally the talking is mostly about Daniel Brian and NXT. Why in the world should I care about MVP? I have zero idea what the appeal of him is. Oh and apparently he’s a power guy now? We get Tiger Woods jokes. Oh dear. They try to compare the last few years in their two careers.

Both have come miles. Yes but Miz has gone forward and MVP has gone backwards. This has been fairly entertaining. It’s nothing epic but it’s certainly doing ok. I just can’t stand MVP at all anymore so that has something to do with it. Show’s shouting is funny to me. I hate that Ballin Elbow. It’s just stupid on so many levels. On the floor Henry goes after Show and hits the railing which more or less explodes. Miz is busted open a bit and Show punches MVP to let Miz retain.

Rating: C+. Not bad at all here. It was a great way to get some time on the card filled in which this show needed badly. Also, Miz gets another win to further establish him as a big deal. This is a win he should have gotten and he did. That’s all you can ask of him. Decent little match here indeed.

We recap the Raw Elimination Chamber. REALLY? We need to recap a moment that happened an hour and a half ago? On a PPV? Is this for people that bought the show halfway through or were late getting home? Seriously, who is this for? They show the whole Batista thing. Seriously, is this for people that are stuck with their fathers at a car dealership because their fathers are pathetic liars that just HAD to buy a new truck on the night their son was paying for their first PPV? It could happen.

Smackdown World Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Undertaker vs. CM Punk vs. John Morrison vs. RTruth vs. Chris Jericho

Rey is out first and thankfully he’s only been world champion once. Morrison is out second and gets a solid pop. Remember he has a bad ankle allegedly. Jericho gets a solid pop of his own. Taker is fourth and this is the interesting thing. In case you didn’t hear, he was set on fire by the pyro.

Let’s see if I can see it unlike anyone else watching the show. Ok the fire is going on and he’s not there yet. Ok there he is and everything seems ok. The flames keep going up but you can’t see where they are in relation to him. Everything seems fine at the moment though.

RIGHT THERE! The flames go up in the middle of everything where he would have been standing so I’d bet that’s where it happened. It’s right as Chimmel is saying his name. Oh yeah when they go down he’s nearly running out of there. Oh man he is TICKED.

There’s a moment where the camera locks on Rey which is when I’m guessing Taker has water poured on him. Now let’s think about this for a minute. Taker, other than running to the ring, which is fairly understandable I’d say, completely stayed in character there.

Think about that: he was just involved in what could have been a life threatening situation or if nothing else something that could have caused severe injury to him. He stayed in character. You can complain about him all you want, but that my friends is discipline. I don’t think the announcers have a clue what was going on but they play it up as the Chamber changing him. Punk cuts a promo on his way to the ring which of course is epic.

Seriously, this gimmick could carry him for ten years easily. Truth cuts him off. As I’ve said before, wrestlers that get the crowd involved or play to them are ALWAYS going to be bigger deals. Think about this match for example: Truth, Jericho, Rey and Punk got the biggest reactions. Taker here is an exception but look at Morrison. He doesn’t play to the crowd much and he got a far weaker reaction.

Truth talks to the fans, Rey does the mask thing, Jericho and Punk’s promos are insulting to the crowd. They get bigger reactions and they’re the four here with world titles. Morrison doesn’t have one yet does he? And the length of time in the company argument doesn’t hold up as Morrison has been in WWE longer or as long as Punk.

Morrison and Punk start us off. Apparently Serena is Punk’s concubine. Ok then. Truth is dominating here. They’re using the Chamber really well here. That’s a big thing that puts this WAY ahead of its I guess you would say counterpart, Hell in a Cell. They messed that show up so badly I can’t comprehend it.

After a missed elbow, GTS puts Truth out. And now we wait for the rest of the clock and Punk gets to talk even more. That’s a great mini gimmick. He mentions making Taker tap. Love that. It’s Rey in next so we’re getting what’s likely a Mania preview here. They fight outside on the cage area with Rey getting slammed into the cage. Cool spot.

Rey is getting destroyed with a capital destr here. Punk tries a GTS from the top rope and Cole makes me laugh. Striker: you can tear a tendon up there. Cole: how about falling on your head? And Rey gets the rana and a splash from the top for the pin to get us down to four. Ok then.

Next in is Jericho to a nice reaction. He hits this 619 but Jericho gets outside to avoid the really weak pin off a really bad move. Rey hits the Spiderman spot which is always cool. These two can’t have a bad match I don’t think. Rey hooks a form of a dragon sleeper and the IWC rejoices. Solid stuff here.

Rey is in the Walls as the clock ticks down and it’s Morrison. For ZERO apparent reason, he goes for Jericho who lets go of the hold. Yep that makes no sense at all. In a cool spot Morrison goes up top and Rey shoves him into the pod. That would hurt like the Dickens. Morrison hits the standing shooting star on Rey. Solid stuff but they’re just milling around waiting on Taker to come in here. Jericho hits a SWEET backbreaker on Rey to stop the 619 for no apparent reason.

Morrison gets that springboard spinkick that I freaking love. Rey is the only one with something close to control here. And Starship Pain puts Mysterio out to get us down to three. Morrison is getting to showcase himself here which is a big deal. Jericho gets the Walls on John and there’s the clock. And he hits Jericho which makes NO SENSE but whatever. Taker is getting NO reaction here.

The two living guys go after Taker which makes sense. Apparently half of Taker’s offense is his defense. What grade did you teach Striker? Jericho does something great as he hides in a pod. That’s very smart. Shame they’re clear so he’s easy to see.

With Jericho down Taker goes after Morrison who hits the kick again to put him down. Starship Pain is blocked and there goes Morrison’s chances. Jericho is hiding again which is brilliant. In a great looking visual, Morrison is hanging onto the cage while Jericho and Taker fight underneath him.

Taker is SLAMMED into the pod which would hurt like being crushed by 837lbs of macaroni. Taker getting a chant now. Morrison gets chokeslammed onto the cage and he’s gone. How have Jericho and Taker never had a long feud? There go the straps. Jericho is in control here but both guys are banged up. Taker goes for the chokeslam with FREAKY looking eyes.

After a bunch of counters, Jericho gets the Walls. Cole points out that he’s in the middle of the ring, even though in a bit he points out that ropes mean nothing in this match. Make up your freaking mind Cole. Jericho hits the Codebreaker which Taker jumps in to, making it look all the better. Last Ride hits and Taker kind of throws him with it. That looked great. We get the Tombstone sign and there’s Shawn. You know the rest.

Rating: A-. I loved this but I would have liked seeing Jericho get the clean pin and for the first two guys getting more time. Either way they pushed a lot of Mania here which is the best thing they could do. The wrestling here was great and they had Morrison do what he had to do out there. This was great stuff though and it worked very well. Great match.

Overall Rating: A-. Sweet show, period. This was great all around with good action, bloodshed, Mania being set up and some shockers. Excellent show and while there are parts that are annoying, there’s nothing here that’s that terrible. Great show, well worth checking out.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




WWE Hall of Fame: Class of 2011

This is one of the lighter classes, except for the headliner.Shawn Michaels

Shawn Michaels is a yes vote.  Moving on.

 

Legion of Doom

They’re the most dominant tag team ever, bar none.  Yes the Dudleys won a lot more titles, but to even suggest that the Dudleys are at the Road Warriors’ level is laughable. The Road Warriors feuded with the Horsemen in the late 80s.  That alone makes them a huge deal.  This isn’t even remotely close and it’s an easy yes.

 

That pretty much ends the good Hall of Fame picks this year.  Let’s get through the rest of them.

 

Sunny

I can accept this one given how insanely popular she was, but the first Diva inducted should have been Liz.  Considering the INSANE legal trouble Sunny has gotten into recently, this is one of those that WWE likely regrets.  Also, Sable should have gone in before Sunny.  I’m ok with this one but it definitely has its flaws.

 

Jim Duggan

Uh…….yeah.  Duggan is in that group of people with Hillbilly Jim and Koko B. Ware: he didn’t accomplish much (although Duggan accomplished a lot more than they did) but he’s so beloved that it’s hard to turn him down.  It’s just hard not to like this guy on some level as he never came off as menacing but rather a guy who loved America and wanted to do the right thing, while also being incredibly goofy.  At least Duggan won something of note in his career, as he won the first Royal Rumble as well as the WCW US and TV Titles.  As for being in the Hall of Fame, I’ll go hide in a shelter somewhere before telling the fans that no, he doesn’t belong in there.  I feel dirty for saying it though.

 

Bob Armstrong

This is another one where it’s more because of his family than anything else.  Bob is the father of wrestlers Steve Armstrong (wrestled in WCW in the early 90s), Brad Armstrong (good wrestler in WCW), Brian Armstrong (more famous as Road Dogg) and referee Scott Armstrong (the blonde one with that annoying hitch in his count).  As for Bob, he wrestled under a mask for years as the Bullet in Alabama and other parts of the south.  While he’s a big deal down there, that’s really about all he’s done.  To me, that isn’t enough to be in the Hall of Fame.

 

Abdullah the Butcher

This falls under the same category as the Sheik: yeah he’s legendary, yeah he’s been around forever, yeah he was innovative, no I don’t want him in the Hall of Fame due to all of the stuff he’s done to hurt wrestling by making hardcore more popular.  That’s all there is to this one.

 

Drew Carey

Yeah he’s here too.

 

Like I said, this is a pretty lame class other than the headliner.




On This Day: February 13, 1997 – Monday Night Raw: Raw Should Be On Thursdays More Often

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 13, 1997
Location: Memorial Auditorium, Lowell, Massachusetts
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is another special Raw show called Thursday Raw Thursday. This was another special request and my first one through e-mail actually. Anyway the idea here is that there’s either tennis or the stupid dog show on Monday so Raw is on Thursday this week. Don’t ask me why they say the day twice but it’s Vince so I think that explains it. This is famous for two reasons: Rock vs. HHH in a LONG match (for the time frame) and this is where Shawn lost his smile. Let’s get to it.

We open with a video on Shawn who is vacating the title, meaning that the winner of the Final Four this Sunday will be the new champion. The opening video is about Sid vs. Shawn which was supposed to be the rubber match tonight. Naturally they say Thursday Raw Thursday about a million times in between this.

Intercontinental Title: Rocky Maivia vs. HHH

 

HHH is champion here and Rocky is a glorified rookie. Also tonight there’s Sid vs. Austin and Bret vs. Vader. For no apparent reason Undertaker is fighting Savio. This is live it seems. It’s still Hunter Hearst Helmsley here so there’s no HHH name yet. The curtseying future Game gets a hip block to start us off and is very confident. They do some nice mat stuff which I’ve never seen before. They have some leg locks and head scissors with impressive counters. Cool stuff.

Off to a chinlock by HHH here but Rocky fights out and hits a dropkick to send him to the floor. A charge misses and Rocky hits the post. Back inside with HHH working on the arm. Rocky fights up but HHH gets a single arm DDT for two. Some chops hit in the corner as we take a break. Back with HHH still in control and just going OFF on Rocky’s head with right hands.

Honky Tonk Man comes out for some reason. He was looking for a protégé or something like that. He wound up picking Billy Gunn who became Rock-A-Billy as one of the dumbest gimmicks of all time. HHH has dominated the vast majority of this with a jumping knee to the head and then a sleeper. Rocky tries to reverse into a sleeper of his own but gets rammed into the buckle.

Rocky starts his comeback with right hands (called a chop by Vince for no apparent reason). Top rope cross body, more or less Rocky’s finisher, is rolled through by HHH for two. Facebuster sets up a neckbreaker by HHH for a close two. HHH is getting frustrated. Piledriver gets two AGAIN as Vince and Jim can’t believe it. Superplex gets two and no one knows what to think.

HHH sets for the Pedigree but Rocky can’t stand up long enough for it to go on. Rocky falls flat on his face and is more or less dead. Honky shouts ROLL HIM OVER! HHH finally tries to do just that and gets rolled up by Rocky for the pin and the title in perhaps the biggest upset of all time up to that point.

Rating: B-. This was good but it’s really just Rocky hanging in there until the end for the one small package to win the title. That being said, the resilience thing with HHH being all stuck up and not going for the kill when he could have makes this work more than it should. Also it’s Rock vs. HHH so it’s hard not to like it at least a little bit.

Rocky cuts his best Boy Scout promo after the match, saying he’ll make his fans and family proud.

Ad for Final Four which was a great main event.

Here’s Sunny, poured into a little white dress. Ah she’s ring announcer.

Headbangers vs. Bob Holly/Aldo Montoya

 

Montoya is more famous as Justin Credible. We see some clips of some WWF guys on a country music show. Road Dogg got to sing his song on there and Hillbilly Jim played some guitar. Also there was a “match” with the Godwinns vs. Jarrett/the host. Who thought this was a good idea for a match? Mosh vs. Holly to start us off. Holly doesn’t so much do things well as much as he doesn’t do things well.

In case you can’t get it, this is a terribly boring match. It’s not that it’s bad but there’s no point to having it and yet it’s here anyway. We’re talking about Shawn Michaels anyway which is far more interesting so that helps. I mean really, does anyone want to watch these four guys have a match? The announcers aren’t paying a bit of attention to this which I can’t blame them for at all.

The Headbangers hit a double Gordbuster on Holly as they take over. Yeah I don’t care about this match at all either. The idea is that Shawn might have to have reconstructive surgery. In reality the knee was slightly injured but he could have gone without the surgery but that would have meant losing the title at Mania which he just wasn’t going to do.

We might have talked about this match for 20 seconds combined of four and a half minutes. Thrasher misses a moonsault and it’s off to Montoya. We’re talking about Brett Favre now. I can’t escape this guy. Finally the Headbangers win with a powerbomb/leg drop combination. Sunny says Mosh and Thrash just won. Even she wasn’t paying attention.

Rating: D. The match was ok I guess but at the same time this was one of those times where no one cared in the slightest and everyone knew it. WWF in 97 was just bad at some points and this is one of them. Who in the world thought this was something people would want to see? Bad match, but now let’s get to something that matters.

Vince introduces Gorilla Monsoon who is going to accept the WWF Title from Shawn Michaels. Shawn limps out and is very sad. Here’s the basic idea: Shawn was supposed to return the favor to Bret and lose the title to him at Mania 13. However Shawn didn’t really want to do that and “hurt his knee” and couldn’t do it. He claimed the doctors said it could be career ending when it was really minor. In short, Shawn didn’t want to lose so he forfeited the title and was back in the ring by May. This is the famous Lost My Smile speech and not a lot of the guys in the back bought it to put it mildly.

Shawn gets all teary eyed and talks about his body being beaten up and all that jazz. HUGE We Want Sid, the guy that might have been winning the title that night depending on who you ask. No one has had to endure the schedule that Shawn had over the years etc. This is rather sickening knowing what’s actually going on here. Do I think he was hurt? Yeah he was somewhat hurt but at the end of the day he was looking out for himself here far more than anyone else when Shawn as a heel could have worked very well but he was afraid of doing it.

He talks about how he’s not going to be around the title for a long time. The doctors aren’t sure where his knee is and he may be beyond reconstructive surgery at this point. Shawn talks about riding in leer jets and limousines as I have a feeling like I’ve heard this before. You also have to remember that the WWF was in real trouble at this point and had it not been for Austin they would have been dead. He hands the belt to Monsoon and says he’s going back home. Shawn says that somewhere along the line he lost his smile. Oh dear.

Overall my thought on this is Shawn knew what was really going on and he put his ego over the fans, the company, the title and the rest of his roster. He had no problem taking all the benefits of being champion but didn’t want to do the harder parts of it (like losing) and that to me isn’t right. The fans were mixed to put it mildly on this. This would have been fine at its time, but given that he would be back before the summer kills any sympathy this would have had.

Savio Vega vs. Undertaker

 

Savio turned heel recently and joined the Nation. Taker was feuding with them for lack of anything better to do. He would win the title at Mania so it seems like he got noticed. After a break we’re back with Taker destroying him. The announcers talk about Bret vs. Vader but it’s not as bad as it was in the tag match. Why in the world am I watching Savio Vega vs. the Undertaker? Who thought this was a good idea?

Taker hits a big boot and stumbles back from it. Leg drop gets two on Savio. Not yet Old School hits as this is one sided for the most part. There are still tickets available for the PPV in Chattanooga. Savio gets a low blow and a set of clotheslines to get two. The other members of the Nation interfere a bit as we’re waiting for Taker to end Savio.

The fans chant rest in peace. My goodness how nice does it sound to be able to take a nap and let someone else do this? Or just to not watch this at all? Savio gets a spinwheel kick to put Taker down for two. Since that’s his finisher the rest of the match is pretty predictable. Taker is finally bored with all this and hits a chokeslam to end it.

Rating: D-. Oh dang it all this was boring. Nothing at all was going on here and it never got interesting. It’s nearly NINE MINUTES LONG. Why in the world did this need nearly ten minutes? It’s Undertaker vs. Savio Vega for crying out loud. Boring match and one of the least interesting things I’ve seen in a good while.

Nation attacks, Ahmed saves, Nation lackeys are hurt.

Psycho Sid vs. Steve Austin

 

After Austin’s entrance, Gorilla says that the four guys have a golden opportunity on Sunday. Sid will get his title shot and will get it against the winner of the Final Four match this coming Monday. Sid would face Bret and win the title. Sid was mad over to say the least. Austin jumps Sid to start and the fight was on. Jerry picks Austin to win the title on Sunday.

Austin kicks Sid low and does Sid’s taunts as this is a total battle from the bell. Fans are TOTALLY behind Austin which is saying a lot considering how over Sid was at this point. Austin sends him into the post and takes him down in the ring with an elbow. This is pre-neck injury for Austin so he’s a completely different guy than the brawler he would become. Abdominal stretch by Austin but Sid gets a sleeper. And never mind as Austin suplexes him almost immediately.

Off to a front facelock so they can call some spots. JR says it’ll be Austin as well on Sunday while Vince says it’ll be Sid. You know, the guy that isn’t in the match Sunday? Sid hammers him down and misses a legdrop so Austin tries a failed Sharpshooter. Big boot takes Austin down and then Bret comes out to fight Austin and it’s a DQ win for Stone Cold.

Rating: C+. This was a brawl with the fans telling you a lot about what they wanted. You had a crazy dude in Sid and Austin being the anti-authority figure that everyone wanted to see. Thankfully Vince listened and everything turned out well in the end. This was a fun brawl and that’s all it needed to be.

Bret and Sid fight while Austin laughs.

Vader stumbles through an interview where he says he’s beaten everyone in the Final Four match recently.

Lawler talks about sending his mom money for Valentine’s Day. This is being written on the night Lawler faced Miz for the WWE Title at the Elimination Chamber where Lawler was talking about his mother passing away the previous week so that’s kind of sad to hear.

We replay part of the Shawn speech about losing his smile. Did you check under that copy of “How to Fake a Knee Injury?” When Vince hugs Shawn you can see him thinking “You bastard!!!”

Tag Titles: Farooq/Crush vs. British Bulldog/Owen Hart

 

Bulldog and Hart had the titles forever in one of the longest title reigns in history. No one since has had a longer WWF/E tag title reign that I can remember. That doesn’t count the Smackdown tag titles made in 2002 mind you. Owen vs. Crush to start and the Canadian gets a cross body for two. Over to Bulldog as Crush throws Owen around a bit.

We take a break just after Farooq tags in. Vince says that if anything significant happens while we’re gone it’ll be shown. Nothing is shown so that means nothing of note is happening during a title match. That sounds like blasphemy to Vince to me. Owen and Bulldog had been having issues lately and they do here as well, resulting in Bulldog being in trouble.

Bret is watching the match and says that what Shawn said was sad. We got split screen to do this of course so we can barely see the match. Bulldog is getting beaten down here if you’re curious. Bret says that there’s no way around Vader so Bret will have to do something different than he did last time when he lost. It’s Hitman Time, not Vader Time.

Ah hey it’s the full match rather than the split one. Owen starts a Bulldog chant even though the Bulldog is getting crushed out there. Hey that was funny and wasn’t even supposed to be! I kill myself sometimes. Crush gets a bodyscissors. Vince: “Speaking of body scissors, how would you like to be bodyscissored by La Femme Nikita, coming up next on USA!” That man is a natural salesman if there has ever been one.

The fans chant what sounds like Bulldog/Owen but it’s not really clear. Maybe if it was in a town bigger than Lowell, Massachusetts that would go a bit better. Bulldog reverses a bearhug with a belly to belly but can’t get a tag. Owen gets tagged but it’s not seen in a classic tag team move. Smith finally gets an enziguri to bring in Owen who cleans house. Missile dropkick to Crush gets two and it all breaks down. We hit the floor and Owen might have injured his knee. Injured or HBK-ified, it’s good enough for the count out to end this.

Rating: D+. I just wasn’t feeling this one at all. The idea was to plug the whole fighting amongst themselves champions and while that happened this felt rushed and a big forced. Not a terrible match but it just kind of came and went. The knee injury never went anywhere that I can remember.

The Nation beats down Bulldog post match while Owen tries to fix his knee. Bulldog helps him out but Owen limps back to get the belts. That’s nice subtle heel stuff.

Vader vs. Bret Hart

 

Main event time here. Before we get started though Taker comes out to watch. Oh and he’s got a loud mic. He hates to interrupt but Taker gets no respect anymore. This is a very un-Deadman like promo. He’s talking fast and sounds more like Biker Taker than Deadman Taker. Vader jumps Bret as Taker leaves and Hart is in trouble early on as we take a break.

Apparently just after they went to a break Austin came out and stomped on Bret some before being sent to the back. Vader goes up and Bret catches him in a POWERSLAM??? WHAT THE HECK??? Bret pounds away and gets a terrible looking Russian Leg Sweep for two. It might have helped if he actually, you know, swept the leg? BRET SLAMS VADER!!!! WHAT IN THE WORLD AM I WATCHING????? He picked him up like he was a cruiserweight and just turned him over for a slam like it was nothing. WHAT THE HECK?????

Bret can’t get the Sharpshooter. Well I guess he was in Power Bret mode or something. Dude Bret Hart slammed Vader. I can’t get over that. Why not a belly to back suplex too? Bret is throwing Vader around like he weighs 180. Bret low bridges Vader and there’s the Sharpshooter but Vader grabs a rope. Austin pops up in the balcony to yell at Bret and Vader drills the Canadian from behind. Vadersault misses and Bret gets the easy pin to end the show.

Rating: D+. Not bad but it was ok I guess. I really can’t get over that slam. Bret Hart just picked Vader up like he was picking up a Slurpie. This was just a match to set up the PPV for the most part with nothing special going on at all. Austin’s interference felt rushed as did Taker’s at the beginning. Either way the match at the PPV was great.

Overall Rating: C-. Well there’s certainly a lot of history here but the delivery isn’t that great. Shawn’s speech doesn’t really mean a lot anymore as he more or less just took a vacation. This wasn’t that bad though and considering the card had to be shuffled earlier in the week as did the PPV, this was pretty solid. Not great, but good enough for what it was.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




Full Listings For Best of In Your House DVD

Due out April 30.Disc 1

Simplistic Yet Brilliant

Bret Hart vs. Hakushi
In Your House • May 14, 1995

Intercontinental Championship Match
Jeff Jarrett vs. Shawn Michaels
In Your House • July 23, 1995

Hey Yo

Intercontinental Championship Match
Razor Ramon vs. Dean Douglas
In Your House • October 22, 1995

Arkansas Hog Pen Match
Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Henry O. Godwinn
In Your House • December 17, 1995

A Sloppy Masterpiece?

WWE Championship Match
Bret Hart vs. British Bulldog
In Your House • December 17, 1995

Disc 2

Memories Flooding Back

No Holds Barred Match for the WWE Championship
Shawn Michaels vs. Diesel
In Your House: Good Friends, Better Enemies • April 28, 1996

WWE Championship Match
Shawn Michaels vs. Mankind
In Your House: Mind Games • September 22, 1996

That’s Why They Play The Game

Stone Cold Steve Austin vs. Hunter Hearst Helmsley
In Your House: Buried Alive • October 20, 1996

Buried Alive Match
The Undertaker vs. Mankind
In Your House: Buried Alive • October 20, 1996

Crowning a New Champion

Four Corners Match for the Vacant WWE Championship
Stone Cold Steve Austin vs. Bret Hart vs. Vader vs. The Undertaker
In Your House: Final Four • February 16, 1997

Disc 3

Back in the Saddle

10-Man Tag Team Match
The Hart Foundation vs. Steve Austin, Ken Shamrock, Goldust & The Legion of Doom
In Your House: Canadian Stampede • July 6, 1997

Shawn Michaels vs. The Undertaker
Ground Zero: In Your House • September 7, 1997

A Slobberknocker

Non-Sanctioned 8-Man Tag Team Match
Stone Cold Steven Austin, Owen Hart, Cactus Jack & Chainsaw Charlie vs. HHH, The New Age Outlaws & Savio Vega
No Way Out of Texas: In Your House • February 15, 1998

WWE Tag Team Championship Match
Stone Cold Steve Austin & The Undertaker vs. Mankind & Kane
Fully Loaded: In Your House • July 26, 1998

Intercontinental Championship Match
Ken Shamrock vs. Mankind
Judgment Day: In Your House • October 18, 1998

Victory at All Costs

Last Man Standing Match for the WWE Championship
The Rock vs. Mankind
St. Valentine’s Day Massacre • February 14, 1999

A Trip Down Memory Lane

Blu-ray Exclusives

Todd Pettengill Outtakes

In Your House Sweepstakes Winner

#1 Contenders Match
Bret Hart vs. “Stone Cold” Steve Austin
In Your House: Revenge of the ‘Taker • April 20, 1997

Match to crown first WWE Light Heavyweight Champion
Taka Michinoku vs. Brian Christopher
D-Generation X: In Your House • December 7, 1997

WWE Championship Match
Shawn Michaels vs. Ken Shamrock
D-Generation X: In Your House • December 7, 1997

D’Lo Brown vs. X-Pac
Fully Loaded: In Your House • July 26, 1998

Credit: WWEDVDNews.com

 

There are some GEMS on here, including Michaels vs. Mankind (released before), Shawn vs. Diesel (might have been released before), the 10 man tag (I’m almost sure that’s been out before) and the Four Way from Final Four which is a forgotten classic.  I’m very happy with this one.




Bret Hart vs. HHH

I’m a bit late to this one but it’s a major story from earlier in the week.  Basically Bret Hart said that HHH has never had a great match and isn’t even in the top 1000 wrestlers of all time.  Now there are a few possible explanations to this.First and foremost, Bret is incorrect.  I greatly respect Bret Hart, but I don’t know if I could come up with 1000 wrestlers if I tried all day.  To say all of them are better than HHH is impossible to believe.  Now of course Bret doesn’t mean that literally, but the idea still makes sense.

 

The second possibility is that Bret has incredibly high standards.  There is definitely something to this as I’ve heard of Bret watching his own matches and being disgusted by his lack of psychology because the three moves he used should have set up an armbar and he used a wristlock instead.  That’s stuff probably 95% of pro wrestlers aren’t going to pick up on but to Bret it’s terrible.

 

Now for the theory that makes the most sense: HHH knew about Montreal in advance and allegedly was the guy who said go ahead and do it.  Since Shawn and Bret have made amends and Bret has talked about how great Shawn is, who else is he supposed to go after with his latest Montreal rage?

 

It’s not like Bret is in need of publicity as he could probably be on Raw or Smackdown a few times a month with one phone call.  My money would be on Montreal, but maybe Bret just isn’t a fan of HHH.  I may have watched a lot of wrestling, but I certainly don’t know a fraction of what Bret knows.  It was a very odd statement though.