Monday Night Raw – October 10, 1994: Well That Didn’t Work
IMG Credit: WWE
Monday Night Raw Date: October 10, 1994 Location: Memorial Auditorium, Utica, New York Attendance: 4,500 Commentators: Vince McMahon, Randy Savage
We’re still on the way to getting ready for Survivor Series though you can see where most of the card is heading. Bret Hart is fighting two different fronts as crazy Bob Backlund wants another shot at the title but there’s also Owen Hart/Jim Neidhart coming from the other way. Other than that, Undertaker and Yokozuna are fighting each other on a well publicized house show tour, which sounds like a preview of Survivor Series. Let’s get to it.
Bigelow has Tatanka, Nikolai Volkoff and Ted DiBiase with him. They get together and offer a distraction so Bigelow can jump Luger to start, proving that they’re not actually worthless. I mean, their worth is about as low as you can go but it’s there. Bigelow forearms and stomps him down, followed by some shoulder blocks for the same result. An elbow to the jaw and a right hand knock Bigelow to the floor because Luger is really strong. Back in and we hit the armbar on Bigelow, followed by a wristlock as the announcers rip on Tatanka for selling out.
Bigelow makes the rope and hits a powerslam but misses the top rope headbutt. That means the armbar can go back on as King Kong Bundy comes out to watch. Back from a break with Luger in trouble as Adam Bomb and Mabel come out to even things up a bit. Bigelow gets two off a DDT with Savage saying what a fantastic technician Bigelow is. Can we take away Savage’s drugs already?
Luger is staggered so Bigelow jumps into the air for what looked like a hurricanrana but he just kicked Luger in both sides of the head (on purpose). That sets up a chinlock as this just keeps going. Back up and Bigelow finally charges into some boots in the corner to give Luger a comeback. The clotheslines put Bigelow down but a DiBiase distraction lets Tatanka grab the leg. Bigelow knocks Tatanka off the apron by mistake and Luger gets the rollup for the pin. Mabel and Bomb didn’t do a thing.
Rating: D. WAY too long here as they went nearly fifteen minutes counting the commercial. DiBiase and company vs. Luger isn’t a good feud but it seems like all Luger can do without screwing something up. They did the basic face vs. monster formula here which is fine in theory but doesn’t quite work when it’s Lex Luger vs. Bam Bam Bigelow.
Tatanka, Bigelow and DiBiase argue all the way to the back.
We look at Bob Backlund on the Heartbreak Hotel where Shawn Michaels and Diesel approved. Backlund doesn’t seem interested, but he did issue a challenge to Bret Hart because he never lost the WWF Title ten years ago.
Mabel vs. Reno Riggins
In case you didn’t get enough Mabel earlier tonight. Riggins gets shoved around to start and stops for the test of strength for some reason. A slam puts Riggins down but he avoids the big elbow. Mabel doesn’t seem to mind as it’s a belly to back suplex into the legdrop for the pin. Vince is too busy talking about Larry King and Marlon Brando to notice.
Randy Savage was on a float in the Columbus Day parade.
Owen Hart vs. John Crystal
Feeling out process to start with Owen not being bothered by a hammerlock. Crystal gets armbarred as the fans want Bret. Vince talks about George Lucas writing three more Star Wars movies and Roseanne, which isn’t great on a show that already feels like it’s going on for years now. A missed dropkick keeps Crystal in trouble and it’s a belly to belly into the Sharpshooter for the win.
Rating: D. Totally standard squash with Vince calling Crystal “a non-entity”, which is one of the best dismissals of a jobber that I’ve ever seen. Owen was on fire at this point and while the great feud with Bret was over, he still had a lot left to do and could make anyone else look good, even an apparent non-entity like this guy.
Undertaker and Paul Bearer are ready to make Yokozuna pay for his crimes on the Hart Attack Tour.
Hart Attack Tour lineup.
King Kong Bundy vs. Mike Khoury
Khoury tries some early right hands and is thrown outside like a bad chicken leg. Bundy splashes him in the corner for two as the announcers talk about Sylvester Stallone and Sharon Stone. The Avalanches gives Bundy the five count pin.
We look back at Dink the Clown making Jerry Lawler sit on a pie on Superstars. Kill it. Kill it with fire.
It’s time for the King’s Court with Lawler ranting about how much he can’t stand short people. That turns into a rant about Dink as we see Lawler breaking Dink’s tricycle back in September. Now though, Lawler has an idea for what to do with Dink, so meet Queasy, the mini King. Queasy promises to take care of Dink with promises of forced foot kissing. And so begins one of the dumbest things they’ve ever done.
Action Zone is coming. That show was AWESOME! For like two weeks!
Headshrinkers vs. JS Storm/Corey Student
This would be Sione (Barbarian) and Fatu for the Headshrinkers with Student getting thrown all over the place. Storm comes in for a bunch of ineffective right hands as we hear about Shawn Michaels writing a love advice column in WWF Magazine. Sione kicks Storm’s head off for the fast pin. Total squash.
Razor Ramon confesses to a priest about attacking a man over breaking his toothpick. Priest: “Who do you think you are? Razor Ramon?” This has been an ad for the new WWF Generation, which is just weird a lot of the time.
Doink and Dink bring out Burger King crowns for Savage and McMahon. They’re not worried about Queasy to end the show.
Overall Rating: D-. Well this didn’t work. This was a bunch of slow, boring matches with the eternally terrible Doink vs. Lawler feud to wrap it up. It’s a terrible time for the company as we get closer to Survivor Series, which isn’t going to make things that much better. Bad show here, and I don’t see that changing anytime soon.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:
Monday Night Raw – June 27, 1994: Money Can’t Buy Happiness, But It Can Buy Goons
Monday Night Raw Date: June 27, 1994 Location: Westchester County Civic Center, White Plains, New York Attendance: 3,400
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Randy Savage
It’s time to start the long term build towards Summerslam and barring a major surprise, that’s going to be Bret vs. Owen Hart for the title. With Owen winning the King of the Ring so recently, there’s no reason to go with anything else. Other than that, Ted DiBiase is trying to lure Lex Luger to the dark side. Oh please. Like Luger would EVER turn all of a sudden with little warning. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of last week’s King’s Court with Jerry Lawler attacking Duke Droese with a trashcan, which they actually don’t show here in a nice bit of living up to their word of not showing it again.
Droese is ready to follow up on whatever the WWF decides to do to him.
Lawler goes on a rant about how it was Droese’s fault until a producer reminds him why he’s here. He gives a rather forced apology but asks for a fine instead. He finally apologizes while looking like a four year old being told to take medicine. Apparently this was more legit than you would think as the trashcan spot was improvised and USA was REALLY mad. How in the world did they survive the Attitude Era?
Mabel vs. Bam Bam Bigelow
Bigelow forearms him down and actually gets a snapmare to put the bigger man down. Mabel gets up and stares at him before kicking Bigelow in the face. The legdrop to the back of the head draws Luna to the apron but Bigelow sends Mabel into the ropes, sending Luna crashing to the floor. A big crash knocks Mabel down again so Bigelow goes out to chase Oscar off, setting up the big brawl on the floor. Mabel drops Bigelow and beats the count for the win.
Rating: F+. That was supposed to be the big draw of the show. The very short length helped but my goodness is this really the best thing they could do? Mabel would somehow get much worse as he was pushed even harder and harder in the upcoming months, which somehow led to him headlining Summerslam about thirteen months later.
Bigelow and Luna argue until DiBiase comes out to recruit Bam Bam.
We go to two weeks ago where DiBiase introduced the “original” Undertaker, meaning Brian Lee (who was notably shorter) in Undertaker gear. One very nice touch here is the voice is the real Undertaker in a pre-recorded bit to add some realism. You know, to the zombie wrestler.
Buy the King of the Ring encore!
IRS vs. Rich Myers
On the way to the ring, IRS says it’s not his job to pay for your healthcare so pay your taxes. An early abdominal stretch sets up a suplex and we hit the chinlock. I’m going to assume you know who did the moves to whom. IRS’ STF (the Penalty) finishes Myers in a hurry.
It’s King’s Court time with Lawler talking about the Hart Foundation and bringing out Jim Neidhart as the founder of the team. Lawler thinks Bret should have been thanking Neidhart over and over for all the times he saved Bret’s career. Neidhart says Bret has called him for advice many times over the years but after all those times he won the “Belt. Championship. Title.”, Neidhart never got a thing. Then it was time to face Diesel and Bret called him again. Gorilla: “THAT’S A LIE!” Neidhart did what he did so Owen could become the champion as he deserves to be.
This brings out Owen in full on King attire, which looks so goofy in a 90s kind of way. Owen loves all this attention and you can feel the inferiority complex here for a good bit of storytelling. Neidhart is the only family member he can trust (Monsoon and Savage talk over the promo AGAIN, confirming that the two of them are brothers-in-law.) and he’s going to help Owen win the WWF World Title. Owen has done everything he’s said he’d do and now he wants Bret’s title. Savage and Monsoon really dragged this down as they probably talked over Owen and Neidhart five or six times.
Headshrinkers vs. Executioners
Non-title. Fatu and Agony (as it says on his tights) start things off with the Executioner getting powerslammed early on. A double noggin knocker makes things worse for the masked men (Savage: “I used to use a single noggin knocker!”) and the squash is strong with this one.
Fatu gets two more off a clothesline as Gorilla talks about his network of backstage sources: the Gorilla Vine. A middle rope DDT (picture someone going to the middle rope for right hands but Fatu DDTed him backwards instead) gets no cover as we hear about DiBiase doing something backstage. The double faceplant sets up the Superfly Splash to end Agony.
Rating: D. This is a good example of how the commentators can use a squash to help build a match. Savage was hyping up the Headshrinkers but it turned into a discussion of how good the Heavenly Bodies were. You have two talented teams and the announcers weren’t sure who would win. Let’s have a match and find out. That’s how you build a match but for some reason that ended somewhere along the line.
DiBiase is talking to Bigelow but gets annoyed upon seeing the camera.
Kwang vs. Mike Moraldo
A big boot drops the jobber but he ducks the mist. The squashing continues as Savage reads the ad for the upcoming USA movie. No that doesn’t mean anything but it’s not like I have anything else to talk about in a match like this. The spinwheel kick in the corner (which Kwang would do almost every time as Savio Vega) and another kick are good for two. We hit the chinlock for a bit before another spinwheel kick finishes Moraldo.
Rating: D. Nothing to see here of course, save for the good looking spinning kicks. Well that and the snickering at all the usage of the word Kwang, which sounds like another word for….I think you get the joke. Kwang was your run of the mill martial arts guy and that’s the kind of gimmick you can always have in wrestling for a low level gimmick.
New Generation ad.
Lex Luger vs. Mike Bell
Luger shoves him around and misses a shoulder that Mike sells anyway. DiBiase comes out to watch as Luger gets two off a rollup and a clothesline (barely made contact) before finishing with the Rack.
ORDER THE REPLAY!
DiBiase has signed Bigelow and says Luger is next to end the show.
Overall Rating: F. Really bad way to end the month with a horrible show. This was a bunch of squashes and almost no angles, save for the obvious Owen challenge to Bret. DiBiase buying people up for his stable has potential but it’s not like the Million Dollar Team is all that interesting in the first place. Bad show, but what else are you expecting from June 1994?
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Histories of Saturday Night’s Main Event and Clash of the Champions, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:
Countdown to the Crowning Date: June 13, 1994 Location: Erie Civic Center, Eric, Pennsylvania Attendance: 3,500 Commentators: Stan Lane, Ted DiBiase
This is a special that may or may not have been an episode of Monday Night Raw (it’s not listed on the Network). Vince announced it as an episode of the show last week but it’s basically just a big commercial for Sunday’s pay per view with a single match. In other words, expect a lot of “video on this” here. Let’s get to it.
Vince and Randy are in a studio as they hype the tournament and introduce the match.
Tag Team Titles: Quebecers vs. Headshrinkers
The Samoans are defending. Samu doesn’t waste any time and drops an early headbutt to drop Pierre. One heck of a crossbody puts Pierre down so it’s off to Jacques for that attempt at a bulldog, earning himself a superkick. Back from a break with the Quebecers having taken over and Jacques grabbing a reverse chinlock.
For some reason he tries to drop down onto Fatu’s back and earns himself a low blow. I guess he’s not an Arn Anderson fan. It’s back to Pierre to try the Cannonball but Fatu moves away and hits a double dropkick (close enough) for the hot tag to Samu. The double Stroke and the top rope splash are enough to retain the titles.
Rating: D+. I’ve always liked the Headshrinkers so watching them beat up a couple of goofs who happen to have Johnny Polo with them is a fun enough sit. This was just a warmup before the Headshrinkers have their real defense against Crush and Yokozuna in a match I can barely remember.
Savage picks the Headshrinkers to retain.
Crush and Yokozuna disagree.
CALL THE HOTLINE!
Commercial for the New Generation with Savage saying he’s the bridge between the two generations. Until December when he goes to WCW and the bridge is out.
Recap of the Hall of Fame Class of 1994 induction ceremony, including Arnold Skaaland, Bobo Brazil, Buddy Rogers, Chief Jay Strongbow, Freddie Blassie, Gorilla Monsoon and James Dudley.
Here’s the King’s Court from May 30 with Bret Hart as the guest, but only after Lawler makes some jokes at the Hart Family’s expense. Lawler brings up Bret’s title defense against Diesel at King of the Ring so here are Shawn and Diesel to have Lawler’s back. Bret doesn’t back down and says he’s ready for whatever Diesel has. In a voice that clearly isn’t ready for this kind of spot, Diesel promises Bret the VIP treatment: Very Intense Pain. The beatdown is quickly on with a Jackknife leaving Bret laying.
Bret promises to have a family member in his corner at the pay per view.
LONG recap of how all eight entrants qualified for the tournament. This goes on so long that it needs a commercial in the middle. They really could have cut this whole show down to half an hour and been fine.
In the big centerpiece of the show, Savage makes his King of the Ring picks. Here they are, in all their glory, starting with the original bracket:
Mabel
IRS
Razor Ramon
Bam Bam Bigelow
Jeff Jarrett
1-2-3 Kid
Owen Hart
Tatanka
IRS
Bam Bam Bigelow
Jeff Jarrett
Tatanka
Bam Bam Bigelow
Jeff Jarrett
Bam Bam Bigelow
In other words, he got all but one pick wrong.
Video on Lawler vs. Piper.
Here’s the King’s Court from last week. Lawler’s guest is from Scotland and wears a Hot Rod t-shirt but just happens to be about seventeen years old and weighs 130lbs with a brick in each pocket. The guy does a good impression but it gets old in a hurry as you can get the joke after about two seconds. After a few gay jokes, the guy gets on his hands and knees to kiss Lawler’s feet in an attempt to get out of the match. He crawls out of the ring to finally end this.
Piper is dedicating this match to the Hospital for Sick Children in Toronto, which gets a quick plug. Nothing wrong with that.
And now, just to continue wasting time on the show, we go to a separate arena where Jack Tunney brings out all eight participants to say a very few words and then…..just stand there as the show ends.
Overall Rating: D-. Total waste of a show here in something that would have aired on the Network today. It didn’t help that the show wound up being one of the least interesting shows the company ever put on with the tournament really not working. I’m not looking forward to the pay per view and this really didn’t help things along.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Histories of Saturday Night’s Main Event and Clash of the Champions, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:
Monday Night Raw – January 24, 1994: Somebody Do Something
Monday Night Raw Date: January 24, 1994 Location: Richmond Coliseum, Richmond, Virginia Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jim Ross
Here’s a rare one as we have a TV show taped before a pay per view yet serving as the fallout show. There’s a chance that the commentary has been updated (remember that the Rumble was on a Saturday so they would have extra time) but this could be an interesting case. Let’s get to it.
Lex Luger vs. Austin Steele
The commentary has indeed been done post-Rumble as the announcers talk about Luger being a co-winner. Steele has a great name but looks like Buddy Landel, which isn’t the best thing in the world in 1994. Luger starts with the right hands and a pair of hiptosses but Steele actually gets in a few shots to the ribs to take over. Lex grabs a belly to back followed by a regular superplex for the pin. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him use that as a finisher and….well it was just a superplex so there isn’t much to say about it.
Rating: D. Just a match here and the ending didn’t exactly do much. It’s a smart move to have Luger on here two nights after he won a major match. I know the fans didn’t get that at the time but at least they’re keeping him on TV to keep him hot. You would think he’d be a bit more upset but he can’t actually say that until next week.
We hit the Royal Rumble recap to cover everything major. Todd does screw up and say the show was last night (it was two nights ago).
Jeff Jarrett vs. John Paul
Jeff starts with a dropkick but gets small packaged and sunset flipped for two each. The comeback doesn’t take long though as JR brings up a good point about Jarrett: for someone who wants to be a country singer, he certainly dresses oddly for his wrestling matches. Jarrett misses an elbow and gets rolled up for two, followed by some uppercuts to the jaw. Jeff comes right back with a rollup and a handful of trunks for the pin.
Rating: D+. Well it was better than Luger’s match. I know his later stuff wasn’t the most interesting in the world but DEAR GOODNESS Jeff was so much worse back at this point. The gimmick, the look and the wrestling itself really didn’t work and that’s a dangerous combination. It’s bad enough when one of them isn’t up to par but with 1994 Jarrett, I’m not sure any of them were.
Men on a Mission vs. Headshrinkers
Men on a Mission are replacing the Harts, which is annoying as I wanted to see the original match. Mo sends Fatu into the corner in one of the only successful things you’ll ever see him do. The Samoans head outside for a breather as this is already dragging. For some reason Mo tries a faceplant and is almost immediately superkicked down.
It’s off to Mabel to scare Fatu, who actually tries a slam. A pair of superkicks actually bring Mabel down to a knee but for some reason Fatu tries a suplex. That earns him a big boot to the face before it’s back to Mo as we take a break. Back with Mo taking a double clothesline and giving one of the most bewildered faces I’ve ever seen. Mo is sent into the steps and chopped down but does manage to get in a sunset flip.
Fatu is right there for a save, which probably isn’t necessary considering it’s freaking Mo (Did I mention I’m not a fan of his?). A double headbutt gets two more but Mo manages to fall into the ropes to crotch Fatu. The hot tag brings in Mabel for all of his usual stuff, only to have the Samoans knock him outside. Mo takes another double headbutt and a top rope splash for the pin.
Rating: D-. Who decided that Men on a Mission should have gone this far? Being a big Headshrinkers fan helped a bit but this was hardly the easiest thing in the world to watch. Mabel was good for a big man but…..yeah Mo was horrible. Like horrible horrible. The look on his face when he got beaten up was amusing though.
Adam Bomb vs. Tommy Angel
Angel shrugs off some offense and scores with a few dropkicks, only to get shoved into the corner for a stomping. Bomb dropkicks him in the ribs as the announcers take shots at Bill Clinton. JR switches over to blaming Harvey Wippelman for screwing up Bomb’s career as Adam hits a top rope clothesline. The Atom Smasher (powerbomb) puts Tommy away.
Rating: D. Angel was a regular jobber around this time so he was able to put on a watchable match. The same could be said for Bomb, who was a good power guy but with a gimmick based on being the result of a nuclear disaster who sounded like he was from southern Alabama was a bit too much for him to overcome.
Sparky Plugg loves cars.
Doink the Clown vs. Joey Stallings
Dink has an invisible dog….and the jobber actually sells for it. JR: “Stallings is a sandwich or two short of a picnic.” Doink gets two off a belly to belly and it’s off to an armbar. Back up and Stallings grabs a bad looking side slam, only to miss a dropkick. Doink grabs a powerslam and finishes with the Whoopee Cushion.
Rating: D-. I’m not sure what there is to say about this one. Do you really brag about beating someone who was attacked by a non-existent dog? I know 1994 was kind of a dumb time but are we really to the point where jobbers are scared of a tiny clown’s invisible dog. I…..can’t believe I actually had to type that.
Tyrone Knox vs. Shawn Michaels
Knox has a good look. They run the ropes to start with Shawn taking him down and dropping an elbow across his back. Knox’s offense doesn’t go very far as Shawn gets in a hiptoss and stomp to the head. We hit the chinlock and Vince confirms that the WWF will NOT be replacing the NFL on CBS. Thanks for that boss. Knox gets in a few headbutts (JR: “YOU GO TYRONE!”) but it’s a superkick and the piledriver (good one too) for the pin.
Rating: D+. Shockingly Shawn has the best match on the card. It helps when you have someone who doesn’t look like a complete loser and Knox at least looked good at times. It’s still just a squash but when you have a decent opponent and one heck of a piledriver to end the show, things are at least a bit better.
Overall Rating: F. Oh yeah this one was bad. They knew they had to be careful with what they could say in the arena and that makes for a REALLY dull show. Just long and boring here, which really shouldn’t be the case on a show that is only about forty five minutes long when you take out commercials. The new cycle should help but this was really boring.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:
Monday Night Raw – May 3, 1993: What Passed for a Big Match
Monday Night Raw Date: May 3, 1993
Location: Manhattan Center, New York City, New York
Attendance: 1,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Randy Savage, Bobby Heenan
It’s another fresh month here as I’m hoping to start doing more of these. This is very early in the show’s run as we’re not even going to hit episode twenty by the end of the month. It’s also coming up on the first King of the Ring but there’s a good chance a lot of the tournament will take place on Superstars, which was still the major show for the most part. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
Intercontinental Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Jim Duggan
Duggan is challenging and is in his weird singlet phase here. Shawn bails to the floor to start as the stalling is very obvious here. Back in and we hit some clotheslines before Shawn goes over to mess with Duggan’s board. Duggan won’t let him walk out and we take a break.
Back with Duggan getting his throat snapped across the top rope, followed by a few kneedrops. Some elbows get two and it’s off to the chinlock. Shawn cuts off a comeback with a knee to the ribs as this is in need of some caffeine. What it doesn’t need is a snapmare into another chinlock. Duggan fights up again and hits a few big right hands. A very spinning slam sends Shawn out to the floor and they walk around a lot for the double countout.
Rating: D. Far too much chinlockery here which is so often the case around here. Yeah it was an eleven minute match but that doesn’t mean it’s the right idea. It made for a very long and dull match as Duggan wasn’t about to win the title and his offense was almost all brawling. Shawn is a borderline miracle worker but he needs a little more than this.
Duggan doesn’t think this is fair and wants a rematch so he sits in the ring.
King of the Ring Report with a look at the updated qualifying matches. Not much to see here but I miss these things.
Doink the Clown vs. Kamikaze Kid
Now this is an interesting one as the Kid is making his debut after being one of the hottest indy acts in the country. However he’s been tweaked a bit as he was better known as the Lightning Kid (with his tights saying L. Kid) but now he’s under a new name. You would know him better as the 1-2-3 Kid or X-Pac. Doink runs him over to start and grabs an STF. A few elbow drops set up the Stump Puller (Doink sits on his neck and pulls back on the leg) for the submission.
Apparently Duggan is on the phone with President Jack Tunney. I’m as riveted as you are.
Bob Backlund vs. Dwayne Gill
They slowly circle to start with Backlund tripping him down a few times. That goes nowhere so let’s talk about Duggan getting his rematch against Michaels next week in a lumberjack match. Gill hiptosses him down and grabs the shortarm scissors so Backlund can do the power up spot. A bridging cradle (with two thumbs up) gives Bob the pin.
Rating: D+. Not much you can say here but it could have been worse. I know Backlund has won a lot of matches in his day but he just beat GILLBERG. This was fine enough as a way to kill some time but I don’t think anyone was buying Backlund as anything interesting at this point.
Duggan says he’ll beat Shawn in a fight instead of a match. This leads to an explanation of a lumberjack match for the really slow fans.
The Smoking Gunns are coming and like to shoot things in the desert. These vignettes need to come back, albeit in a slightly less cheesy form.
Headshrinkers vs. Jim Bell/Jay Savage
Lou Albano comes out for commentary as a surprise and goes on a rant about how he doesn’t trust Heenan. Bobby: “I’m not a demented halfwit where you put his brain in a pigeon and he flies upside down!” Sledge gets tossed into the air for a big crash and now we talk about the lumberjacks to ignore the match even more.
A spike piledriver only draws an OH NO and it’s back to Albano bantering. Normally I would make fun of this but what else is there to talk about during a squash? Albano speaks…..whatever language the Headshrinkers speak and tries to get them to follow the rules. The destruction continues and it’s a double Stroke into Fatu’s Superfly Splash for the pin.
Rating: D. This was all about the angle with Albano wanting to turn the Headshrinkers towards the light and there’s nothing wrong with that. I’d much rather they take a squash and turn it into a story instead of just wasting our time like most matches such as this one. Then again it might just be because I’m a Headshrinker fan.
Home improvement with the Bushwhackers from Smack Em Whack Em, which is pretty easily the best Coliseum Video ever.
Kamala vs. Rich Myers
Kamala’s manager Slick isn’t here this week for no apparent reason. The tossing around begins and we hit some choking. A superkick sets up the big splash and the fans remind Kamala to turn the jobber over for the pin.
Shawn is annoyed to end the show.
Overall Rating: D. The chinlocking in the Intercontinental Title match really hurt things here but it could have been a lot worse. 1993 just isn’t that interesting and there’s really not much of a way around that. There isn’t much to say here as there’s over a month before the next pay per view and that doesn’t leave a lot to talk about week to week.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:
Monday Night Raw – March 13, 1995: Bret Hart Is Not A Racist
Monday Night Raw Date: March 13, 1995
Location: Memorial Civic Auditorium, Stockton, California
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jim Cornette
We’re crawling towards Wrestlemania and that means this is going to be NFL and Shawn Michaels heavy. On top of that we have a big match for tonight with Jerry Lawler facing Bret Hart all over again because these two have only had their great feud going for the better part of two years now. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of Lawler vs. Hart, which started at King of the Ring 1993, then we jumped ahead about twenty months and Lawler accused Hart of being a racist with promises of proof coming tonight.
Opening sequence.
Headshrinkers vs. Blu Brothers
This isn’t even the match they had advertised in the opening video as the Headshrinkers are replacing 1-2-3 Kid/Bob Holly, the latter of whom wrestled on a dark match and the former of whom appeared later in the night. Odd indeed but I can’t imagine it was anything serious. Fatu and Jacob shove each other a bit to start and the twin makes the mistake of sending a Samoan into the buckle. It’s off to Sionne (Barbarian) to help on a double shoulder but it’s time to talk about clotheslines not being legal in the NFL.
Sionne gets knocked to the floor for a beating and the Blu’s tag, leaving Vince completely confused as to which is which. Back from a break with Sionne fighting out of a chinlock. A shoulder sends Eli outside and the twins switch. Not that it matters as they double team Sionne down to keep control. Sionne gets in a powerslam and the hot tag bring in Fatu to clean house. Everything breaks down and it’s a double countout.
Rating: D. I’m a Headshrinkers fan but this was too long and boring. Holly and the Kid would have been a lot better here as it would have freshened up the styles a bit. You can only have power brawlers vs. power brawlers for so long and by the time you need a chinlock and a commercial, the match has probably gone on too long.
Lawrence Taylor says he’ll fight like crazed dogs.
We see some of the NFL plays that will be in Taylor’s corner. One of those players, Steve McMichael, is going to be here next week to see this Kama guy.
Bam Bam Bigelow and the Million Dollar Team are ready for Wrestlemania.
Former NFL player and wrestling legend Ernie Ladd offers his thoughts on the match, which he thinks will go to Bigelow due to Taylor going into this with too much emotion.
Barry Horowitz says he’s confident and has been talking to Razor Ramon about his match tonight.
Jeff Jarrett vs. Barry Horowitz
Non-title. Jarrett jumps him from behind because you need an advantage over Barry Horowitz. We get an awkward sequence in the corner until Barry grabs an armdrag into an armbar. A legdrop on the arm keeps Jeff in trouble as this is already more competitive than I was expecting. We get some bad news: the President of the San Francisco 49ers can’t call in to the show. Roadie’s save attempt fails and Barry gets in a high knee but hurts himself in the process. A quick Figure Four ends Horowitz.
Rating: C-. Much better than I was expecting here and it helped that Barry was actually building up to a moderate push and a win at Summerslam. Jarrett wasn’t interesting but that never stopped the company (or any company for that matter) from pushing him all over the place.
We look at Jerry Lawler landing on one foot to save himself from elimination in a battle royal, only to have Bret come out and eliminate him for real.
Bret promises to get rid of Lawler tonight. Not quite buddy, though this was as fired up as I’ve seen Bret in a long time.
It’s time for the Wrestlemania Report with the usual recaps and hyping up. The big stories are Salt N Pepa singing Taylor to the ring and the announcement of Owen Hart/??? vs. the Smoking Gunns for the Tag Team Titles. We also see Shawn hitting on Pamela Anderson, who clearly HATES this and doesn’t really try to hide it. Finally we see Men on a Mission turning heel in a turn that didn’t matter for months. This goes on for the better part of ten minutes.
Jerry Lawler vs. Bret Hart
Lawler brings out Japanese wrestler Bull Nakano to prove that Japan likes him better. Bret immediately punches him out to the floor before tying him in the Tree of Woe. Cue Bob Backlund as Bret sends Lawler into the buckle over and over. Now Hakushi and his manager Shinja come out to watch as Bret is sent into the steps. We take a break and come back with Lawler getting annoyed at the BURGER KING chants. A suplex drops Bret for no cover but the top rope fist goes awry, allowing Hart to take over. They head outside again with Nakano getting involved, causing Bret to get counted out because this referee is stupid.
Rating: C. Bret vs. Lawler is one of those matches that is going to work no matter what you have them doing because it’s such an easy story with the skilled technician vs. the dirty cheater who you want to see get beaten up. The Japanese stuff certainly was a story and I know they needed something to keep this going but it was still a bit weird.
Bret beats Lawler up post match.
Jeff Jarrett has had a contract drawn up to give Barry Horowitz a rematch for the Intercontinental Title next week but Backlund steals the contract and signs up instead because that’s how contracts work.
Overall Rating: D+. If you don’t like Wrestlemania, you’re going to HATE this show and almost everything about it. The Taylor vs. Bigelow stuff was clearly a spectacle but that doesn’t mean the build is anything remotely interesting. The Bret vs. Lawler stuff really felt like a way to pad out the show and it did help somewhat but this was still a rough show to sit through.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s WWE Grab Bag at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01IH7O904
And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:
Monday Night Raw – November 15, 1993: Let Freedom Ring
Monday Night Raw Date: November 15, 1993 Location: Fernwood Resort, Bushkill, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Bobby Heenan
The big story this week is a fan voted match with Lex Luger facing Pierre the Quebecer in a match that really isn’t the most interesting thing in the world. Other than that we find out who will be the replacement on the All Americans now that Tatanka has been injured. That’s quite the cool moment so let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of Savage going nuts and attacking Vince to go after Crush last week.
Opening sequence.
Savage has been suspended from commentary for a week in a logical move.
Razor Ramon vs. Brooklyn Brawler
Non-title. The referee won’t let the Brawler hit Razor with the title to start so Ramon shrugs off the early offense and punches him down. An atomic drop slows Ramon down as we hear about Shawn Michaels returning to the company. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Brawler ducks his head like an idiot, setting up the Razor’s Edge for the easy pin.
Crush is very happy with costing Savage his broadcasting job.
Headshrinkers vs. Mike Bucci/Mike Maraldo
Bucci would later be known as Nova/Simon Dean. Fatu headbutts Bucci around to start as the announcers talk about Savage being gone this week. A double headbutt puts him down as we’re firmly in squash territory here. Unfortunately this leads to a discussion of the Four Doinks, which would be the only match I ever turned off in the middle of a review because it was horrible. A double Stroke sets up Samu’s top rope splash to squash Bucci for good.
Rating: D. I’ve always been a Headshrinkers fan as they’re such a simple gimmick but they knew how to make it work. Their face run was a lot more entertaining but at the moment we’re stuck with them as your run of the mill island savages. On the other hand it’s always cool to see someone like Bucci as a fresh rookie before he became a fairly well known name.
We go back to Superstars over the weekend with the announcement of Tatanka’s replacement on the All Americans. That would be…..the Undertaker, who says he’ll fight with them against these Foreign Fanatics. He opens the coat to reveal an American flag and says let freedom ring in a really cool moment.
Pierre vs. Lex Luger
Pierre is one half of the Tag Team Champions. Luger whips him across the ring a few times to start and gets two off a belly to back suplex. A backdrop on the floor gets two for Luger and we take an early break. Back with Luger working on the arm but some left hands get Pierre out of trouble.
Luger gets up but Pierre’s manager Johnny Polo grabs the leg (with the referee not only seeing him but yelling about it), allowing Pierre to send him into the steps. A Vader Bomb gets two on Luger and Heenan is shocked at the kickout. He does realize it was Pierre right? Pierre puts on a bad looking reverse chinlock but Luger powers out as we take a break.
Back with the hold on again and a piledriver getting two on Lex. A really weird looking top rope legdrop (with Pierre trying to spin around to drop the other leg instead of the one you would expect) gets the same and it’s time for Luger’s comeback. Some right hands and a slam off the top set up the flying forearm to finish Pierre off. Heenan’s rant about all the metal in the arm is great.
Rating: D-. This is really on whoever decided to put Pierre in this match as there was no reason to think he could handle a nearly fifteen minute match on his own. There’s a reason you put him in a tag team so a veteran like Jacques can carry a lot of the work but it was basically suicide to put him out here and ask him to carry half of a match.
Post break Jacques and Johnny have trouble waking Pierre up.
Diesel vs. Sid Garrison
Oh yeah Diesel is still a thing. Diesel powers him into the corner with ease and a neck crank fills in more time. A big boot and an elbow drop of all things put Sid away.
Rating: D. It’s not a good sign when I forgot that Diesel was a thing at this point but that’s what you have to expect when Shawn was put out of action just a few months after Diesel debuted. There really wasn’t much of a point to do anything with him which explains his fairly random association with IRS at Survivor Series.
Survivor Series control center. There’s not much here other than the announcement that Pierre has a concussion and may be out of the main event.
We wrap it up in Nashville with Jeff Jarrett yelling at I think the record producer (as portrayed by the future Jacqueline). He’ll be fine despite the lack of backup though.
Overall Rating: D-. Oh yeah this was bad. Survivor Series is almost here but they’re not exactly hitting the ground running with one change after another. Undertaker is a good addition and Pierre is a better subtraction but they need to just announce the teams already and be done with it because these constant changes are getting really annoying to keep up with.
One more note: there is no November 22 show as Survivor Series was two nights later. Instead there was a clipped version of a big special called Survivor Series Showdown which aired the night before. For reasons I don’t quite understand, this was listed as a lost episode of Raw, which I think had something to do with getting to Raw 1000. It was finally aired on WWE.com a few years back and it was actually pretty good. Here’s the link if you’re interested:
Monday Night Raw – June 19, 1995: It’s About Feet Again!
Monday Night Raw Date: June 19, 1995
Location: Struthers High School, Struthers, Ohio
Attendance: 1,450
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler
It’s finally the go home show for King of the Ring 1995 and it’s not a moment too soon. Last week was mostly built around Jerry Lawler’s feet and I’m really not sure how many more times I can sit through something like that. We might even get some build towards the tournament for a change. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
Undertaker vs. Mike McReynolds
Undertaker gets in an uppercut as this is the kind of beating that you get with Undertaker vs. a guy named Mike McReynolds. The smoke is still clouding the arena as the chokeslam and Tombstone wrap this up in a hurry.
McReynolds gets put in a body bag post match. He probably earned it.
Lawler goes on another rant about making Bret kiss his feet.
We look back at Bob Backlund destroying Man Mountain Rock’s guitar.
Man Mountain Rock thinks that was a pretty crummy thing to do.
Adam Bomb vs. Bill Payne
Adam runs him over with a shoulder to start and sends Payne flying with hiptosses. A side slam and belly to back suplex sets up the top rope clothesline to put Bill away. I still have a bit of a soft spot for Bomb.
King of the Ring control center with ANOTHER focus on Lawler’s feet. This really is the main event. Lawler torments Vince with the plastic feet and Bret says this is going to be a nice match against a slimeball. We wrap it up with a mention of the tournament with Razor Ramon’s injury being mentioned. It’s nice to have them actually tell you that a major name might be off the show. I can barely think of another instance in this era actually.
Sid/Tatanka vs. Headshrinkers
This is Fatu and Sione (Barbarian) instead of Samu. I remember waiting for Samu to make his comeback from eating bad fish for months but nothing ever came of it. I was devastated. Fatu and Tatanka get things going with Fatu (somehow the only Hall of Famer in this match) pounding down right hands in the corner. Tatanka sends him to the floor but we cut to Sid, who is blinking a lot.
Tatanka’s DDT just makes Fatu dance and you can see a lot of the Usos in there. It’s off to Sid so Fatu Moon Walks into the corner for the tag and the Headshrinkers knock Sid into trouble as well. A big clothesline turns Fatu inside out though to give us a signature bump and we take a break.
Back with Tatanka getting in some cheap shots from the apron before Fatu avoids a charge, only to have Tatanka break up the hot tag attempt. Not that it matters as we get the tag a few seconds later, bringing in Sione for a piledriver on Tatanka for a near fall. Everything breaks down and Sid powerbombs Fatu in the ring and gives Sione one on the floor, setting up an easy pin for Tatanka.
Rating: D+. This was the dark days of the Headshrinkers as Fatu was kind of a Rikishi prototype and Sione never worked that well as a partner. There’s always room for a Samoan team and you can use them for jobbers in spots like this. The problem was that they were losing to Sid and Tatanka who were a pretty lame main event threat.
We look at Sid injuring Diesel’s elbow until Bigelow made the save. As a bonus, we get a recap of the entire build which really isn’t helping things out.
Diesel isn’t worried about his elbow injury and Bigelow says there’s a lot of positive energy. Vince doesn’t buy this, but to be fair almost no one bought King of the Ring.
Lawler goes on a great maniacal tirade about how much he wants Bret to kiss his feet.
We go to Lawler’s dungeon to see what he has planned to use on Bret, including something called the Fallbrett. Lawler is clearly having a blast with this, even though it’s such a stupid idea.
Buck Quartermaine vs. Hunter Hearst Helmsley
HHH is still undefeated at this point. Buck’s arm work goes nowhere so the announcers talk about the Kiss My Foot match again. Some right hands and chops have Buck (whose boots don’t match) in trouble in the corner, followed by the Pedigree for the pin.
Shawn Michaels vs. Gus Kantarrakis
Gus is a very hairy guy and Vince makes sure to say his full name every time. Shawn runs him over to start and rides the goon on the mat a bit. With nothing else to do, Shawn jumps out to the floor and sits in the front row. Back in and Gus gets a few shots before they head outside again where the jobber gets suplexed on the floor. The superkick puts Gus out as you would expect.
Post match Kama comes in to jump Shawn but is quickly dispatched. Undertaker and Mabel come out as well but nothing happens.
Lawler promises to make Bret kiss his feet one more time to wrap it up.
Overall Rating: D. There’s a reason these shows are so nearly universally hated. Whether the WWF agrees with it or not, the Kiss My Foot match is the real main event on Sunday instead of the main event tag match which isn’t doing anything for anyone. The company was in a horrible place at this point and it’s really not surprising that King of the Ring was such a disaster.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of the Intercontinental Title at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Looking back at a hidden (ish) gem (ish) from each Wrestlemania.
Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania IX: The Low Point
Wrestlemania IX Date: April 4, 1993
Location: Caesar’s Palace, Las Vegas, Nevada
Attendance: 16,981
Commentators: Jim Ross, Randy Savage, Bobby Heenan
We’re into the Monday Night Raw era as things are definitely shifting to a new generation. The main event tonight is Bret Hart defending the title against the new monster known as Yokozuna. Other than that we’ve got Beefcake/Hogan challenging Money Inc. for the tag titles in a match that sounds odd when I type it for some reason. Let’s get to it.
Gorilla Monsoon is host this year, which means we need a new commentator. We’ll get to that in a bit, but first of all let’s acknowledge the theme of the show: the World’s Largest Toga Party. Yeah that’s not going to get stupid at all.
Jim Ross debuts on WWF TV for the first time ever in a surprise jump from the other company. Granted it was about a year or so since JR was last seen but it was still surprising.
Cesar and Cleopatra are introduced to the crowd.
Randy Savage comes out on a sedan with the vestal virgins. Bobby Heenan is brought out riding a camel backwards, which he claims was supposed to be the sedan. Funny bit here.
Intercontinental Title: Tatanka vs. Shawn Michaels
Shawn is defending of course and has the debuting Luna Vachon behind him. Tatanka is still undefeated here and would be so until much later in the year. Shawn’s former manager, Sensational Sherri, comes down the aisle to stare at Shawn and presumably be in Tatanka’s corner. Tatanka takes Shawn down a few times to start and they fight over arm control. Shawn comes back with a headlock and climbs the ropes to roll Tatanka down with it for two.
The champion tries it again but gets caught in a belly to back suplex for two this time instead. Shawn goes up again but dives into an armdrag as things pick up a bit. There’s a Flair Flip in the corner and a big chop puts Shawn on the floor. Sherri and Luna get in a staredown and Luna licks the ring post. More chops keep Michaels on the floor as the fans are getting into this.
Back in again and Shawn comes off the top with a semi-botched sunset flip for two but Tatanka comes right back with an atomic drop. A DDT puts Shawn down again and Tatanka works on Shawn’s apparently bad shoulder. Shawn tries a clothesline like an idiot and hurts his own arm again. We hit another armbar but Michaels fights up, only to charge shoulder first into the post.
Back to the armbar followed by a shoulder breaker for no cover by the challenger. A top rope chop to the shoulder has Shawn in even more trouble but a second attempt jumps into the superkick. Since it’s 1993 though that doesn’t end anything so Shawn sends Tatanka out to the floor. The girls get in another staredown but Shawn hits a running clothesline off the apron to take Tatanka out again.
Instead of following up, Shawn yells at Sherri. Since he’s Shawn Michaels though, he still maintains control with a neckbreaker for two. A standing dropkick gets two for Shawn and it’s off to a chinlock. That goes nowhere so Shawn hits a modified victory roll out of the corner for two. The shoulder seems to be fine now. Tatanka counters another victory roll attempt into an electric chair to put both guys down. A very delayed cover gets two for the challenger and it’s time to go on the warpath.
Shawn gets caught in a cross body for two and a slingshot sends him face first into the post for two. The crowd is WAY into this match now. Tatanka’s Papoose To Go (Samoan Drop) is countered into a rollup for two for Shawn but he walks into a powerslam for two. Shawn sends him out to the floor and the fans chant for Sherri. Michaels dives off the apron but slams his head into the steps, knocking himself silly and causing a countout win for the racial stereotype.
Rating: B. If Tatanks wins clean here, it’s a near classic. This was a VERY solid opener with the fans getting completely into the near falls. The shoulder injury being forgotten ten minutes into it hurt things though as I can’t stand a plot point being introduced and then left completely alone. Also Tatanka should have won but it still makes for a fine opener.
Luna lays out Sherri while Tatanka celebrates not winning the title.
The Steiners are ready for the Headshrinkers.
Steiner Brothers vs. Headshrinkers
This should be solid stuff. The Shrinkers are Samu and Fatu (Rikishi) here. Historic moment: JR calls this match a slobberknocker, unleashing the term on the wrestling world. The Headshrinkers have Afa as their manager, which will be mentioned later. Scott and Fatu start things off and after being shoved by the Samoan, Scott easily takes him down by the legs. A big old Steiner Line flips Fatu inside out but the Headshrinkers take Scott into the corner to work him over.
The Steiners are sent to the floor so they both climb to the top and hit a double Steiner Line to take both Samoans out to the floor. We settle down to Scott vs. Fatu again but it’s quickly off to Rick. Apparently Luna has attacked Sherri at the first aid station. Samu pounds on Rick in the corner and hits a running clothesline, only to be taken down by a running forearm/clothesline. Samu goes face first into the post to absolutely no effect, because he’s Samoan you see.
Back to Scott but Afa gets on the apron for a distraction. Scott charges into a hot shot to send him out to the floor in a NASTY looking bump. Afa cracks his staff over Scott’s back which looked great and sounded even greater. Things settle down a bit and Fatu hits a backbreaker and middle rope headbutt for two on Scott. A spinning kick to the face takes Scott down again but Samu charges into a boot in the corner.
Fatu blocks the hot tag by knocking Scott to the floor where he gets sent face first into the post. In a sweet sequence, Scott tries to ram Fatu’s head into the mat but Fatu pops up and superkicks Scott right back down. A modified Demolition Decapitatior gets two on Scott and let’s hit that nerve hold. Scott fights up and they collide as is common in tag matches. Heenan keeps ripping on JR and Oklahoma as Ross has almost no idea what to make of this kind of sarcasm. That says a lot when he used to work with Jim Cornette.
Back to Samu who goes up top, only to miss a top rope splash. The hot tag brings in Rick but a double headbutt immediately puts him back down. Here’s your awesome spot of the match: Rick gets loaded up in a Doomsday Device position but when Samu dives at him with a cross body, Rick catches him in mid air and powerslams/belly to belly suplexes him off Fatu’s shoulders and down. AWESOME looking move and they hit it perfectly. Scott hits a belly to belly on Fatu but Samu hits a superkick to take him right back down. Out of NOWHERE Scott hits the Frankensteiner for the pin. Nice bump from a guy that big.
Rating: B. I liked this one as much as I liked the opener which is saying a lot. This probably should have kicked the show off as the spots were hitting better and the fans were popping a lot louder, but I can get why they went with a title match. I’m a Headshrinkers fan so seeing them hold their own against one of the best teams ever is a very fun sight. Good match here and that powerslam was great.
Strap yourselves in now people, because it’s ALL downhill from here.
We cut to the back where Doink has desecrated a statue of Julius Caesar. This is when Doink is still the evil clown which had a ton of potential, but they of course had to make him kid friendly because that’s how wrestling works. The idea here is that Doink has been using evil pranks on Crush, including beating him with a prosthetic arm.
Crush vs. Doink the Clown
This is during Crush-A-Mania when he was on the verge of getting the mega push to the stars which would never happen. Crush chases him around the ring to start and slams Doink on the floor before pounding Doink in the face a bit. Doink tries to punch back but Crush no sells everything. Back inside and Crush hits a neckbreaker for no cover. A neck snap over the top keeps Doink down as does a backbreaker. We’re three minutes in and it’s all Crush so far.
As Crush is hitting some Sheamus forearms on the apron, Doink hits a kind of Stunner on the top rope to take over. A few top rope forearms to the back of Crush’s head keeps us in clown control and a lame piledriver gets no cover. Doink actually slams him but goes up top and jumps into a boot to the jaw. A cross body attempt by the Clown doesn’t work as Crush hits a powerslam before clotheslining Doink to the floor.
Doink tries to crawl under the ring but gets hit with a gorilla press back in the ring. Crush puts on the head vice (finisher) but as Doink gets to the ropes, the referee is bumped. The vice goes on again but another Doink comes out from under the ring with the cast. He blasts Crush in the head with it and the original Doink gets the pin.
Rating: D+. This was basically a squash until Doink got in some not terrible offense. Again though, this was when Crush was about to get pushed to the moon, so he loses to Doink? The Clown character had a ton of potential, but instead of going with something interesting like the Joker, we got FUN Doink soon after this, because that’s interesting stuff right?
Japanese tourist jokes aren’t funny so here are a bunch of them.
Razor Ramon vs. Bob Backlund
This is right before Razor turned face and it’s clear why given how big the pop he gets here is. Backlund offers a handshake and gets a toothpick in the face instead. A LOUD Razor chant opens things up as Backlund is shoved into the corner. Ramon slams him down and stomps away as Savage brings up Lex Luger knocking Bret Hart out cold earlier today.
It comes up out of nowhere in the middle of this match because there’s no reason for this match to take place. Leave it to JR to bring it back to the match as Backlund makes his comeback. A butterfly suplex puts Razor down and there’s Backlund’s atomic drop. That gets no cover though, as Razor grabs a small package to pin the wrestler with a wrestling move.
Rating: D. This was a squash at a Wrestlemania in 1993. Razor would be turning face soon after this while Backlund did nothing at all for a LONG time until he went nuts and actually won the world title. Nothing to see here though and it was clear that the announcers didn’t care about the match at all.
We recap Money Inc. attacking Brutus Beefcake and injuring his face (again) on Raw. Hulk Hogan was watching and came back to save his little buddy. The champions (Money Inc.) says they’ll bankrupt Hogan and Beefcake. Oh and we hear about a black eye that Hogan has from working in the gym the previous night. I’ve heard a bunch of stories over that before, but the most common one I hear is Savage decking him in the eye because he thought Liz had cheated on him with Hogan. The other version (and possibly the real one) is that Hogan had an accident on a Jet-Ski.
Tag Titles: Money Inc. vs. Mega Maniacs
Jimmy Hart is with the challengers because of how the champions hurt Beefcake. Hogan and Beefcake clear the ring while the music is still playing as the match begins. The champions stall on the floor for awhile until we get down to Beefcake (in a red/yellow mask) vs. I.R.S. The tax dude immediately goes for the face and it’s off to DiBiase for more of the same. DiBiase hits a middle rope ax handle to the mask and injures himself in the process. Ted continues to act way dumber than he is by ramming the mask into the buckle. So why did the punches work earlier?
Beefcake rams DiBiase’s head into the buckle instead and in the match we should have gotten five years ago, it’s Hogan vs. DiBiase. Ten punches in the corner put Ted down so Hogan pounds on the mat a bit. Off to Beefcake for a slam before it’s back to hogan for more punching. DiBiase ducks low and is immediately punched in the face again. I.R.S. comes in again and is punched by both Maniacs. All challengers so far.
The champions try to walk out but Finkus Maximus (remember the Roman theme) says that if they leave, they lose the titles. They get back in and the fans are chanting for Hogan. Ted goes for the throat to finally take over and I.R.S. chokes away a bit from the floor. More choking by DiBiase ensues before he cranks it up with the Million Dollar Dream. Savage: “They’re hanging from the rafter! Well they would if they had rafters. They have columns here and they’re hanging from them!”
I.R.S. tries to interfere for some reason but it allows Beefcake to come in with his own sleeper and put DiBiase out to break the hold and buy Hogan a breather. Hogan pops up and the double tag brings in Schyster to face Beefcake. An atomic drop puts Ted on the floor but the tax dude gets in a shot to Beefcake’s back to take over. Dibiase comes back in and rips the mask off of Brutus’ face so the champions can work over the face.
Beefcake comes back with a double clothesline out of nowhere but instead of tagging he puts I.R.S. in the sleeper. Ted breaks it up but the referee is bumped in the process. Hogan comes in like a hero and hits both guys with the steel mask but there’s no referee. What else do you do in this situation? You have Jimmy Hart turn his jacket inside out so it has white and black stripes and have him count then CELEBRATE LIKE YOU WON THE FREAKING BELTS. Another referee comes out to explain to Hogan how stupid he is and give Money Inc. the win by DQ.
Rating: D+. The match was ok at best but the ending is so dumb that I can barely comprehend it. I mean…..HOW STUPID CAN HOGAN POSSIBLY BE??? The guy has been around for nearly ten years and he thinks that would actually work? The match was just ok as it was mainly choking and punching for the first half, which is decent but nothing mind blowing. Then the ending sucked the life out of my brain which is normal for Hogan a lot of the time.
Lots of posing ensues but then the Maniacs open Money Inc.’s briefcase. They find tax forms, cash, and a brick. Heenan: “Well you never know when you’re gonna need a brick.” Hogan gives the money away and Heenan is suddenly a huge fan.
Todd Petingill finds Natalie Cole (singer I think) and the owner of Caesar’s Palace who are as riveting as you would expect.
Mr. Perfect says he’s going to solve the Lex Luger puzzle.
Lex Luger vs. Mr. Perfect
That sounds pretty awesome on paper. Anyway, Luger is the Narcissist at this point and comes out with some women in bikinis with thongs, sending Heenan through the roof. Well over the top of the columns at least. Perfect gets a very solid pop here but he would be used sparingly until he left in the fall. They trade headlocks to start and Luger bails to the corner. Now they trade hammerlocks and Luger bails to the ropes again.
Perfect hits a dropkick to send Luger to the outside as the crowd is staying hot. Back in and Luger starts using the power but Perfect blocks a big boot attempt. There’s the Robinsdale Crunch on Luger’s knee and Perfect cranks on it a bit for fun. We head to the corner for some LOUD chops but Lex whips him into the corner a few times to take over. We head to the floor with Luger ramming the injured back into the apron, followed by a backbreaker in the ring for two.
Perfect fights out of the corner with right hands but Luger scoops his legs and puts his own feet on the ropes for two. Mr. comes back with a nice sunset flip for two but a quick sleeper attempt is broken up. Back up and they slug it out a bit more with Perfect hitting a backdrop to take over. A slingshot sends Luger into the buckle and a forearm to the head gets two. Perfect hits a clothesline and neckbreaker for two each, as does a kind of missile dropkick. Luger wins the fight over a backslide and even though Perfect gets his feet in the ropes, Luger gets the pin anyway.
Rating: C. Decent match here but it never hit the level they were capable of. That ending was actually designed to set up something at the NEXT Wrestlemania which was unheard of at this point in time. Anyway, decent match here but it’s a disappointment due to how good this could and should have been.
Luger knocks him out post match and leaves. Perfect finally staggers after him and the fight starts again, until Shawn Michaels helps beat up Perfect.
Savage yells at Heenan for supporting Luger too much.
Gorilla Monsoon talks about the remaining matches.
Giant Gonzalez vs. Undertaker
Gonzalez is a legit 7’7 and is working for Harvey Wippleman for revenge on Undertaker after Undertaker got rid of Kamala. Taker comes out in a chariot and carrying a vulture. Undertaker literally only comes up to Gonzalez’s chest. Some uppercuts stagger the Giant but he grabs Taker by the throat to stop him cold. Taker climbs to the second rope and grabs Gonzalez by the throat, only to get hit low to stop him again.
Old School staggers the Giant a bit but he comes back with a clothesline to take over. Taker is thrown across the ring and we get a standing chinlock by the monster. The famous one fights up but gets thrown to the outside with ease. Taker is sent into the steps and we head back inside. Gonzalez pounds away a bit more but Taker slugs away, knocking Gonzalez down to one knee. Wippleman throws in a rag, which apparently the announcers can smell a chemical on from twenty feet away in an outdoor arena with over 15,000 people in it. Apparently it’s ether or something, earning Taker a DQ win.
Rating: D-. Gonzalez was AWFUL which really hurt things a lot. The main issue Undertaker had at this point was no one had any idea what to do with him. They just had him fight monsters for years on end which you can only watch for so long. This story would be reused about 12 years later with Undertaker playing Undertaker, Daivari playing Wippleman and Great Khali playing Gonzalez.
Referees check on the unconscious Undertaker as Gonzalez chokeslams a referee. The fans chant for Hogan but a gong goes off and Taker staggers out to beat up the monster.
We recap Jim Duggan being destroyed by Yokozuna. The fat man did the same to Bret Hart as well, setting up this match. In the back, Hogan says he wants the first title shot against either Hart of the Jap. His words, not mine.
Todd Pettingill continues to annoy fans.
WWF World Title: Bret Hart vs. Yokozuna
Bret is defending against Yoko who won the Royal Rumble. It wasn’t an automatic title shot yet but starting the following year it would be. Bret hits a quick dropkick and pounds away but a single shot knocks the champion away. A big tackle runs Bret over and sends him to the outside but he trips Yoko up to take him down. Bret pounds away but it doesn’t do a lot of damage. Yoko wins a battle of the clotheslines and a big old legdrop crushes the champ’s face.
Off to a nerve hold for a bit but Bret gets his feet up in the corner to block a charge. A middle rope bulldog puts the monster down for two which is a victory in and of itself. Yoko superkicks Bret down and it’s right back to the nerve hold. Bret fights up and makes his comeback, finally knocking Yoko down with a middle rope clothesline. A buckle pad is ripped off somewhere in there and Bret rams him face first into it. Yoko falls on his stomach and Bret gets the Sharpshooter, only to have Fuji throw salt in the champ’s face. That’s actually enough for the pin and the title.
Rating: D+. Bret did what he could but there’s a limit to what you can get out of a big fat guy like this. The ending is pretty lame and the match lasted less than nine minutes. That just doesn’t fit for a Wrestlemania main event but thankfully the rematch the next year would get more time and would be MUCH better.
Hogan runs out to check out Hart, so Mr. Fuji issues a challenge to Hogan for a title match RIGHT NOW. Bret tells Hogan to go get him and the fight is on.
WWF World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Yokozuna
Fuji misses a salt through, clothesline, legdrop, new champion.
Hogan poses a lot to end the show. Yeah that’s how Wrestlemania ends: in 22 seconds.
Overall Rating: D. The opening matches are as good as you’ll find for two straight openers at Mania in a long time, but after that it’s ALL downhill. The ending here was just stupid. First off, pride or whatever, WHY WOULD YOU GIVE A FRESH HULK HOGAN A WORLD TITLE SHOT AFTER YOU JUST WON THE BELT??? On top of that, we had some stupid endings with the tag title match and the Undertaker match, making this even worse. The problem with this show is other than the openers, it isn’t entertaining. I’ve never liked this show and most people don’t either, which is easy to understand.
Ratings Comparison
Tatanka vs. Shawn Michaels
Original: B+
Redo: B
Steiner Brothers vs. Headshrinkers
Original: B+
Redo: B
Doink the Clown vs. Crush
Original: D
Redo: D+
Razor Ramon vs. Bob Backlund
Original: C-
Redo: D
Money Inc. vs. Mega Maniacs
Original: C+
Redo: D+
Lex Luger vs. Mr. Perfect
Original: C-
Redo: C
Undertaker vs. Giant Gonzalez
Original: F+
Redo: D-
Yokozuna vs. Bret Hart
Original: D+
Redo: D+
Yokozuna vs. Hulk Hogan
Original: N/A
Redo: N/A
Overall Rating
Original: F+
Redo: D
I actually liked it better this time. Man alive I must have been in a bad mood for the first one.
