Impact Wrestling – July 6, 2023: That’s A Hot One

Impact Wrestling
Date: July 6, 2023
Location: Center Stage, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Matthew Rehwoldt, Tom Hannifan

We are just over a week away from Slammiversary and the card is all but set. Oddly enough, one of the better built matches has been Scott D’Amore/PCO vs. Bully Ray/Steve Maclin, as the videos on D’Amore have been great. On top of that, there is also a new alliance in the form of Nick Aldis and Lio Rush, who are going after the Motor City Machine Guns. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

Eddie Edwards vs. Frankie Kazarian

Alisha Edwards is here with Eddie and shouts at Kazarian, even as he suplexes Eddie into a neckbreaker to start. A fisherman’s suplex gives Kazarian two but Eddie manages to send him outside, where Alisha gets in a tornado DDT. Back in and Eddie rakes the eyes and chops in the corner, allowing Alisha to choke away.

Kazarian is sent to the apron where Alisha gets in another cheap shot, allowing Eddie to hit a clothesline. A slingshot DDT plants Eddie on the apron though and it’s a double down on the floor. Back in and Kazarian counters the Blue Thunder Bomb into a failed chickenwing so it’s an Unprettier for two on Eddie instead.

Another chickenwing attempt is blocked and Eddie grabs the tiger driver for two of his own. The chickenwing finally goes on but Alisha offers a distraction, allowing Eddie to drive it into the corner, with the referee getting bumped in the process. Alisha kendo sticks Kazarian from behind though and the Boston Knee Party finishes for Eddie at 10:46.

Rating: B-. Well yeah of course this was good. They’re both talented wrestlers and they have a story going. Giving them some time to put a match together is going to work and it went well here. You can probably pencil in some kind of a mixed tag for Slammiversary and that opens up more than a few options.

We look back at Nick Aldis and Lio Rush laying out the Motor City Machine Guns. That’s your main event tonight.

Chris Sabin is ready to face Rush for the X-Division Title at Slammiversary.

Rush says he’s here to win titles instead of making friends. Nick Aldis comes in to say he’s here to make history, and they can accomplish these things together. As long as Rush stays out of Aldis’ way.

Frankie Kazarian congratulates Eddie Edwards on the win, even if that’s not how Killer Kowalski taught them. They’re 1-1 so let’s have the rubber match at Slammiversary, with Kazarian offering to bring his wife, Traci Brooks, to even things up.

Champagne Singh/Shera vs. Rich Swann/Sami Callihan

Swann get double teamed down to start and Singh drops him with a Downward Spiral for some trash talk. Swann trips him down though and it’s back to Callihan to pick up the pace. This includes the always stupid throw a team together and make someone DDT his partner spot. Swann comes back in for a double superkick to Singh, meaning it’s the Cactus Driver to finish Singh at 3:16.

Rating: C. Not much beyond a squash here but it’s good to have Callihan and Swann look like a solid team on the way towards Slammiversary. They’re long established as friends and have teamed together, but rarely as a two on two team. Beating up Singh and Shera is always fun too, and it worked well here.

Moose and Brian Myers are ready to give Callihan and Swann real competition.

We look at Santino Marella yelling at Dirty Dango, allowing Heath to jump Dango from behind.

Dirty Dango talks about how he loved wrestling in the 90s (Juventud Guerrera, Villano IV, Villano VII, people like that) but then he realized that things change when you get into the arena. Go back to school instead of wrestling. As for Santino Marella, Dango has grown up while Santino is still stuck in 2010. Dango: “It’s like going to a Yoko Ono concert where she just yodels the whole time.” As for Heath…..maybe try being a fork lift driver?

Angels vs. Jonathan Gresham

The Design is here with Angels, who is quickly sent outside. Deaner yells at Angels to do what he says so he goes back in and suplexes Gresham. A running dropkick sends Angels outside though and we take a break. Back with Gresham dropping him again for two and they fight over a suplex. A half and half suplex sends Gresham into the corner so Angels can hammer away, which doesn’t seem to be following Deaner’s plan. They fight over some rollups for two each until Gresham pulls him into the Octopus for the tap at 10:27.

Rating: C+. The idea here was Angels trying to pay attention to Deaner and do his own thing with neither exactly working. Beating Gresham is hard enough on its own and he did his whole technical wrestling master deal. If nothing else, it’s better than the same stuff the Design was doing with Sami Callihan for months, so hopefully this leads to the team falling apart and going away for good.

Post match Gresham offers a handshake but Deaner doesn’t want Angels to do it. Angels teases leaving but goes back in, with Deaner breaking up the handshake attempt. Deaner pokes him in the chest so Angels grabs his hand and then shakes Gresham’s hand.

The Bullet Club is ready to defend the titles against anyone, including three teams at Slammiversary. The Rascalz come in and want to be in he match, but Chris Bey says they haven’t won anything around here. Wentz suggests a match with Bey, and if Wentz wins, they’re in the title match. Seems to be a deal.

Video on the Australia shows. Good for them for getting to go somewhere else, as they’ve turned things around so much in the last few years.

We recap the issues between Deonna Purrazzo, Trinity and Gisele Shaw.

Trinity thanks Purrazzo for having her back last week. Purrazzo says she wants Trinity 100% when she beats her at Slammiversary and that’s not cool with Trinity. Purrazzo is willing to put out the open challenge next week to show Trinity who she’s facing at Slammiversary.

PCO vs. Good Hands

Scott D’Amore joins commentary. Before the match, the Good Hands talk about how PCO is about to feel these good hands. PCO beats them to the floor to start and hits the big running flip dive. The Deanimator hits Hotch and a reverse DDT plants Skyler back inside. The PCOsault finishes Skyler at 1:56.

Post match Hotch goes after D’Amore and gets beaten up for his efforts, including a Sky High. The Canadian Destroyer is loaded up but here is Bully Ray to interrupt. Steve Maclin sneaks in from behind though and the villains wreck PCO and D’Amore with a chair. D’Amore gets handcuffed to the rope and PCO gets destroyed even worse, including being put through a chair.

PCO gets thrown down a ramp into the backstage area. After yelling at D’Amore some more, they follow PCO outside and pour…..battery acid into PCO’s mouth. Then they add lighter fluid and light him on fire. This went on for a LONG time and while the ending looked cool, it was hard to keep interest all the way there.

Post break, we look back at what we just saw.

Scott D’Amore is looking at PCO, who doesn’t know how the Slammiversary match is affected and really doesn’t care.

Gisele Shaw vs. Courtney Rush

Jai Vidal, Savannah Evans and Jessicka are here too. Shaw runs her over to start so Rush grabs a top wristlock. Rush sends her outside for a breather, followed by a reverse DDT for two back inside. Vidal offers a distraction though and Shaw gets in a kick to the head to start the comeback. A suplex gives Shaw two and frustration is setting in. Rush knocks her away but Evans offers a distraction. Jessicka slugs her down but gets sent into the steps. Vidal gets on the apron as well and that’s enough of a distraction for Shaw to grab a rollup with feet on the ropes for the pin at 6:13.

Rating: C. Shaw gets another win as the numbers game is too much for Rush and Jessicka. It wouldn’t surprise me to see Shaw accept Deonna Purrazzo’s challenge next week, though adding her to the title match at Slammiversary at this point doesn’t feel likely. So far the new Death Dollz haven’t been doing so well but their whole huge story has had so many twists and turns that something is going to come from all of it.

Kenny King and Sheldon Jean are interrupted by a random fan who has no business being backstage. She tries to put money in King’s pants, and another woman does the same. Then Joe Hendry pops up and produces Yuya Uemura to prevent a 2-1 beatdown. The villains leave.

Here’s what’s coming on various shows.

Motor City Machine Guns vs. Lio Rush/Nick Aldis

Sabin wants Rush to start but gets Aldis instead. Aldis easily wins an exchange of shoulders and elbows Sabin in the face for a bonus. Rush comes in and starts the dodging, setting up a jumping kick to the head. We hit the rear naked choke but Sabin slips out and slides outside to trip Aldis. Shelley uses the distraction to jump Rush from behind and Sabin gets two off a double stomp.

The abdominal stretch keeps Rush in trouble and Shelley knocks him outside. This time Aldis gets in a cheap shot on Shelley and we take a break. Back with Aldis clotheslining Shelley and stomping away a bit more. Aldis starts in on the leg and Rush comes in for some right hands of his own. Rush chokes in the corner and the bodyscissors goes on. It’s back to Aldis for a chinlock but Shelley fights up with a Downward Spiral into the corner.

The tag brings in Sabin to clean house, including a middle rope missile dropkick to Rush. Everything breaks down and a Magic Killer of all things gets two on Rush. Aldis is taken down with a dragon screw legwhip over the ropes, with Rush taking one of his own. The Guns go after Aldis, allowing Rush to hit a big running flip dive to take everyone out. Aldis adds a top rope elbow for two but Rush misses the final Hour.

There’s the Dream Sequence to Rush and a cutter drops Aldis. The powerbomb/sliding cutter hits Rush for two with Aldis making the save. Aldis gets the King’s Lynn Cloverleaf on Shelley, with Sabin making the save. Rush hits Sabin low and kicks him in the head, setting up the Final Hour for the pin at 17:54.

Rating: B. This took some time to get going but eventually picked up well. What mattered here was setting up the King vs. Sabin title match at Slammiversary and they covered that well. Aldis vs. Shelley is more or less set up in advance, so this was a good way to make both title matches feel more interesting at the same time.

Overall Rating: B. Another solid show here as Slammiversary has come together rather well and I’m wanting to see the show. The PCO thing was quite over the top but it does kind of fit with how intense the feud has been. In addition to that, the title matches got some nice boosts and nothing is feeling overly weak. Next week is set up for the big go home show and now I’m curious to see what they’re going to do for the big finale. God stuff here, which might as well be the official subtitle as of late.

Results
Eddie Edwards b. Frankie Kazarian – Boston Knee Party
Sami Callihan/Rich Swann b. Champagne Singh/Shera – Cactus Driver to Singh
Jonathan Gresham b. Angels – Octopus
PCO b. Good Hands – PCOsault to Skyler
Gisele Shaw b. Courtney Rush – Rollup with feet on the ropes

 

 

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Impact Wrestling – June 15, 2023: They Talk A Lot

Impact Wrestling
Date: June 15, 2023
Location: Ohio Expo Center, Columbus, Ohio
Commentators: Matthew Rehwoldt, Tom Hannifan

We’re done with Against All Odds and my goodness things went nuts. First of all, Alex Shelley actually won the World Title from Steve Maclin in a heck of a surprise. If that’s not enough for the Motor City Machine Guns, Chris Sabin won the X-Division Title from Trey Miguel, cementing them as maybe the best tag team Impact has ever had. Nick Aldis is waiting for Shelley at Slammiversary so let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Against All Odds.

Here are the Motor City Machine Guns to a heck of a reception. Chris Sabin talks about how he had a dream that the two of them went into Against All Odds and came out with the gold. Not tag team gold as you might expect, but instead he won the X-Division Title and Alex Shelley won the World Title. Then Sabin realized that it was a dream come true. Shelley: “Yup.” Shelley talks about how he ugly cried when he won the title because he was finally good enough to win the big one.

When he mentors someone, they become World Champions, like Kazuchika Okada, Trey Miguel, Kushida, the Young Bucks, Seth Rollins or Jay White. At some point though, it needed to be his turn and he had to prove it to himself. Now he can say he is a World Champion and he did it because of the fans, everyone in the locker room, everyone in New Japan, everyone in Ring Of Honor and people like Sabin. Shelley: “Ask me if I’m a World Champion.” Sabin: “My friend, my brother, are you a World Champion?” Shelley: “Yup.”

This is the Machine Gun Era, but here is Nick Aldis to interrupt. Aldis says the two of them did it at Against All Odds and he was one of those people who was there cheering for Shelley when it was his night. He’s proud of Shelley and yes, Shelley deserves the title. When Aldis first got here, he was drowning and was going to be on a list of “remember that guy” names. Then Shelley pulled him up, so you can add his name to the list of World Champions that Shelley mentored.

Aldis kept climbing though, and now it’s the two of them for the World Title, and no matter who wins, there will be a World Champion that this company will be proud of. As Shelley’s friend though, Aldis is going to do everything he can to make sure it’s him. Cue Trey Miguel to interrupt because he isn’t happy with the lack of respect. Sabin invites him in to say this to his face, but Miguel turns him down.

Cue Kenny King and Sheldon Jean, with King saying Miguel is the only one out here telling any truth. King accuses the three guys in the ring of jumping the line and getting a bunch of shots, so Sabin invites the other three in to see what happens. The villains come towards the ring but cue Gisele Shaw/Savannah Evans/Jai Vidal of all people to interrupt. Shaw says the spotlight should be on her and asks Shelley if he deserves all of this. Shelley: “Yup.” He thinks her problem is with Trinity so here is Trinity to interrupt.

Vidal threatens Trinity, who threatens him right back, so here id Deonna Purrazzo to interrupt. Purrazzo says she now has over 500 days as Knockouts Champions so she should be in the World Champion discussion. Trinity: “Until Slammiversary.” Cue Santino Marella to make the big ten person tag match for later tonight. This took about twenty minutes and it’s been happening more recently around here. Please don’t be the new norm, because it’s way too WWE instead of Impact.

Steve Maclin is livid about his loss and shouts that he should still be the World Champion. He shoves the camera away.

We look at Sami Callihan hitting Deaner in the face with a baseball bat and piledriving him onto a barbed wire board to beat him at Against All Odds.

Deaner wants to know who should be blamed for the Design’s loss. That would be Angels, who doesn’t like being bossed around this much. He has done everything Deaner has asked, and then Deaner (accidentally) hit him in the face with a baseball bat at Against All Odds. It was Deaner’s fault that they lost so the argument is on. Kon says this is exactly what Callihan wants so they need to get it together. Cool. Just do it on another show.

Moose vs. Rich Swann

Swann tries to move around to start but gets sent into the corner a few times. Some dropkicks stagger Moose a bit and a middle rope version staggers him even more. The low bridge sends Moose outside but he pulls a dive out of the air and powerbombs Swann onto the apron. Moose doesn’t let him go though and sends him into the barricade, followed by a toss powerbomb into the ropes.

We take a break and come back with Moose chopping away in the corner. Moose’s release Rock Bottom gets two and they head outside, where Swann ducks a chop that only hits post instead. Back in and Moose charges into a boot to the face, setting up a DDT to leave them both down.

Swann goes up top but gets superplex back down for a huge crash. We take another break and come back with Moose running the corner, only to dive into a cutter in some great timing. Swann’s Lethal Injection gets two but the middle rope 450 misses. The powerbomb gives Moose two but another spear is countered into a jackknife cover for the pin at 17:32.

Rating: B. These two were going back and forth and as usual, power vs. speed works well. It also helps to have this much extra time, allowing them to get things going more than usual. At the same time, it is a little strange to see Moose getting pinned clean, though I could go with more of Swann getting a singles push, as he is one of those recently untapped resources that Impact has.

On BTI, Heath took out Champagne Singh and Shera.

Heath talks about how he came here and then got hurt for 11 months. Then he had to save his best friend from a cult. Then Rhino got hurt, but then he came back and they won the Tag Team Titles. Now though, Rhino is hurt again, so he has to figure out what is next for him. Everyone is getting a wake up call.

Moose is annoyed when he runs into Brian Myers, who brings up Moose’s recent losses. Moose doesn’t want to hear this, but Myers offers to reform their team, which has Moose thinking.

Here is Bully Ray for a chat, complete with a piece of paper in his hand. Ray says he is a victim of the atrocious management around here, along with a victim of unnecessary violence at Against All Odds at the hands of Scott D’Amore. He is a victim of the system around here, and now he demands justice.

Cue D’Amore, with Ray demanding answers. D’Amore says when you’re a jerk to everyone, someone is going to be a jerk back. D’Amore mocks him for having a letter of complaint but reveals that he went before the board. They told him he was unbecoming of a president, which has Ray looking near stunned. Now all Ray wants is him to apologize, but D’Amore apparently has to take a leave of absence as president.

That’s music to his ears, with Ray saying D’Amore’s bosses screwed D’Amore over. Then D’Amore takes him down for some not so great right hands, which draws out Steve Maclin for the save. The beatdown is on, with Ray choking with a chair. The lights go out though and the lightning means it’s PCO time. A punch knocks the chair into Ray’s face and Maclin is knocked outside as well. Hold on though, as D’Amore has made one more match: a tag match between the four of them at Slammiversary.

Post break Maclin yells at Ray, who tells him to act like a Marine. Ray says that PCO (or maybe D’Amore) is just a man, but Frankie Kazarian pops up to say he’s a man who just beat them both up. Eddie Edwards (with Alisha Edwards) comes in to get between them and a match seems to be teased. With Ray and Maclin gone, Kazarian wants to know what is up with that. Eddie says they don’t like each other, but they’ll always have a bond, so they’re good. Kazarian (and Alisha) is confused but they’re at peace.

Decay vs. Bullet Club

Non-title. Austin gets taken into the corner for a kick to the head from Taurus and Steve gets in some hair pulling of his own. A kick gets Austin out of trouble but Taurus comes in sans tag and headbutts him down. Steve bites both champs but gets kicked out of the air for his trouble. Bey comes in and it’s the Art of Finesse into the Fold to finish Steve at 3:08.

Rating: C. I could have gone for more of this but that is the case with most of the matches the Club has these days. They really have gone into the area of being a great team, which is more than I was expecting when they were put together. This was shorter than it should have been, as Decay can put on a good match when they are given the chance, which isn’t the case in a match that barely breaks three minutes.

Post match the Club goes to the back and runs into the Motor City Machine Guns, with a showdown teased.

We get a preview of an upcoming documentary on Bhupinder Gujjar.

Gujjar is excited when Dirty Dango comes in to say no one would want to watch that. He’s assuming that Gujjar will sit around and hope that someone makes him a star. Gujjar calls him a bitter a****** and leaves. Dango: “I thought the backstage interview girls were supposed to be hot. No?”

Here’s what’s coming on various shows.

Trinity/Motor City Machine Guns/Nick Aldis/Deonna Purrazzo vs. Kenny King/Sheldon Jean/Savannah Evans/Trey Miguel/Gisele Shaw

Purrazzo and Shaw go to the mat to start and come up to a standoff with some trash talk. Shaw runs into an elbow to the face and Trinity comes in to unload with forearms. Shaw drives her into the corner though and it’s Evans coming in for some slams. Trinity breaks that up and Purrazzo comes back in for a Fujiwara armbar. Shaw’s save is cut off by Trinity with Starstruck but Miguel makes a save.

We take a break and come back with Aldis fighting out of King’s headlock. Sabin comes in to forearm Miguel and twists Jean’s knee across the middle rope for a bonus. Miguel sends Sabin into the corner and Jean’s knee is fine enough to come in for some elbows to the chest. Sabin is sent outside for a big group stomping, with Sabin’s partners being held back by the referee.

Back in and King stays on Sabin’s arm, allowing Miguel to come in for a front facelock. King cuts off a comeback attempt but a middle rope tornado DDT plants King for a breather. Shelley gets the hot tag and picks up the pace, including an overhead belly to belly to Miguel. A super atomic drop has Miguel gyrating quite a bit so Shelley pulls him into the Border City Stretch. Everything breaks down and King kicks Shelton by mistake. Aldis gives King a Michinoku Driver and Shell Shock finishes Jean at 18:38.

Rating: B-. This was a long match and at the end of the day, all that mattered was getting Shelley a win. Shelley got his big moment earlier in the night and he gets a pin as champion here. The Trinity vs. Purrazzo match is already set, though adding Shaw in wouldn’t be a crazy idea given what they have been doing. At the same time, another Miguel vs. Sabin match, maybe in something like Ultimate X, would fit in nicely at Slammiversary as well. All in all, there was a lot going on here, but it could all be setting up things for later.

Post match Aldis holds the title up to Shelley….and then blasts him with it to turn heel and end the show. That’s going to be better for him, as the respectable former champion was only so good.

Overall Rating: C+. They went in a rather different direction here with some LONG talking segments and only three matches. There was a lot of television time given to the matches and there were ten people in the main event, but it was like bunching several things together in some big lumps. I’m hoping that this isn’t the new norm as it’s not bad, but it’s not as good as it was before. Go with more acting and less talking, as it suits Impact a lot better. The Machine Guns era is off to an ok start, but they might be going in a shaky direction.

Results
Rich Swann b. Moose – Jackknife rollup
Bullet Club b. Decay – Fold to Steve
Motor City Machine Guns/Nick Aldis/Trinity/Deonna Purrazzo b. Gisele Shaw/Savannah Evans/Trey Miguel/Kenny King/Sheldon Jean – Shell Shock to Jean

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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Impact Wrestling – June 8, 2023

Impact Wrestling
Date: June 8, 2023
Location: Western Fair District Agriplex, London, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Matthew Rehwoldt, Tom Hannifan

Somehow this is the go home show for Against All Odds, despite being less than two weeks removed from Under Siege. The main event of tomorrow’s show will see Steve Maclin defending the World Title against Alex Shelley, so odds are the hard push is on tonight. Other than that, Bully Ray is still the big bad and needs someone to come after him. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

Chris Bey vs. Jason Hotch

Ace Austin, Brian Myers and John Skyler are here too. Before the match, Myers and Skyler promise that after Against All Odds, the Tag Team Titles will be in good hands. Hotch tries a rollup to start but gets suplexed down for his efforts. Bey chops away in the corner but a springboard is countered with a shove over the top to the floor. Back in and Bey hits a backdrop before kicking him in the head. The Art of Finesse is countered into a heck of a Blue Thunder Bomb to give Hotch two. Bey is back with a kick to the face but Hotch tries la majistral. That’s fine with Bey, who stacks him up for the pin at 7:36.

Rating: B-. The word I think of when I see a Bey match is “smooth”. He can make anything he does in the ring look good and that was the case again here, as he and Hotch got to go out there and do their thing for a bit with nothing looking bad. The title match should be good as well and I could go for more of any combination of these guys.

Post match the beatdown is on, with the champs being left laying.

Heath is back and ready for the 8-4-1 match. Tonight, he’ll take out Champagne Singh to get ready for tomorrow.

Dirty Dango talks about how he has money now and doesn’t need to be the dancing clown again. He doesn’t like wrestlers texting him but he’ll happily take money to not show up. The idea of shaking hands with sweaty awkward 18-35 year old men in some armory somewhere sounds like ALL KINDS of fun. A 5X Dirty Dango shirt won’t cover up the smell so take a shower ok? He doesn’t care about winning the Digital Media Title. If he wins it, he’ll list it on eBay and use the proceeds to go to Hawaii. With a girl. This stuff is glorious.

Champagne Singh vs. Heath

Shera is here with Singh. Heath takes him into the corner for some forearms to start but Shera offers a distraction. That lets Singh snapmare him into the ropes to start banging up the ribs, giving Singh a target. Heath slips out of a powerbomb and hits a powerslam, setting up the Wake Up Call for the pin at 2:51.

The Design promises war with Sami Callihan, Jake Crist and whomever else they can find. Yeah yeah blood and violence and carnage and all that good stuff.

Here is Joe Hendry to say he’s ready to face the man who broke his nose, Sheldon Jean. That would be the reality star under the tutelage of another reality star, Kenny King. It isn’t that simple for Jean, especially because we believe.

Joe Hendry vs. Sheldon Jean

Non-title and King is here with Jean. Hendry takes Jean down fast to start but a King distraction lets Jean get in a kick to the face. We take a break and come back with Hendry powering out of a guillotine choke and hitting a suplex. The fall away slam looks to set up the Standing Ovation but King offers a distraction. Not that it matters as a powerbomb sets up the Standing Ovation finishes Jean off at 7:32.

Rating: C. Jean meets the description of a good hand and that should be enough to keep him on the roster for a long while to come. Eventually he’ll get a win or two and that is all he needs to make him a bit of a star. Hendry on the other hand has so much charisma and now he is backing up up with a better look and the ability in the ring.

Post match Hendry calls out Dirty Dango, who appears to say that he hates pro wrestling. He’ll pass on the fighting (it’s his day off), but Hendry has a new video about Dango, who seems to have lost his mind. Hendry plans to figure out what happened to make Dango nuts, sending us into a hilarious history of Dango’s career (he started by pinning Chris Jericho 1-2-3, then he was impersonating a cop with Breeze, then he couldn’t get laid on Total Divas). With the song over, Jean and King jump Hendry but Santino Marella comes out to make the save with the Cobra to Jean. Those songs are AMAZING and this was great again.

Gisele Shaw and company brag about taking out Jordynne Grace and think it should be a warning to Trinity. This is her house, and rent is due. Revenge is sworn at Against All Odds.

Women’s Tag Team Titles: Death Dollz vs. The Coven

The Coven is defending. Wilde can’t do much with Jessicka to start so it’s off to Rush, who yells at King during the staredown. Rush takes her down but gets sent into the corner so King can take over. A swinging suplex gives King two but Rush gets over for the tag to Jessicka. That’s fine with Wilde, who sends her into the corner to take over as well as the Dollz can’t keep anything going here. Jessicka clotheslines her way to freedom and brings Rush back in to pick up the pace. Everything breaks down and King gets in a cheap shot to Rush, setting up a big boot/spinebuster to retain at 6:25.

Rating: C. As usual, the lack of depth in the division causes problems around here, as it’s hard to get around the fact that the division is the champs and whomever they are defending against at the moment. This should get rid of the Dollz for the time being, but who is there left for the Coven to face? I’m sure some wrestlers will be thrown together, but that doesn’t help the underlying problem.

Video on Alex Shelley becoming #1 contender and finally getting his World Title shot last August. Now he knows what it takes to come up short and that was a learning experience. We hear about the wrestlers that Shelley has mentored or influenced over the years but when is it about him? It doesn’t need to be this week, but Shelley almost has to win the title, just based off of how it has been built up.

Steve Maclin talks about all of the wrestlers who want the title but Bully Ray interrupts. Ray says he likes Maclin, who just won’t listen. Don’t worry though, because he won’t come for Maclin’s title until Slammiversary.

Killer Kelly vs. Masha Slamovich in a Dog Collar match is set for Against All Odds.

Bhupinder Gujjar vs. Trey Miguel

Non-title. Gujjar takes him down to start but Miguel hits a kick to the face. With Miguel on the floor, Gujjar loads up a dive, which is knocked out of the air. Back in and a slingshot splash sets up a Lionsault to give Miguel one. Gujjar knocks him down again but misses a frog splashes, allowing Miguel to kick him down. Miguel misses what looked to be a top rope double stomp but comes right back with the Lightning Spiral for the pin at 5:19.

Rating: C. This was just a quick “Trey Miguel is great” win before he defends the title again tomorrow. Miguel is getting pretty high up there with some of the records and it’s pretty awesome to see him doing so well. If nothing else, having someone with a consistent track record holding a title is a good thing, and I’d like to see Miguel move up a bit after losing the title.

Post match Miguel says he doesn’t respect Chris Sabin and declares himself the a different kind of champion. He promises that tomorrow, he’ll win again and there will be no “yeah but’s” this time around.

Johnny Swinger brags about how great he is in the ring and talks about his daddy, Donny Swinger, telling him “Swing Sonny”, sometimes it’s time to pass the heat onto someone else. Like Russo! Either way, he blames “crooked referees paid off by Gene Simmons and Bob Seger”. That’s why he’s going to have Zicky Dice become a referee, and then he’ll have a strap around his waist. This man is a genius.

Trinity and Deonna Purrazzo are ready to fight at Slammiversary, but they’re ready to fight Gisele Shaw and Savannah Evans tomorrow night too. It’s too bad that Jordynne Grace is out of action indefinitely, but this is a dangerous business.

Here’s what’s coming on various shows.

Moose/Rich Swann vs. Jonathan Gresham/Nick Aldis

Swann and Gresham start things off with Swann kicking him in the face. Aldis comes in and gets caught with a headscissors but ducks an enziguri. The King’s Lynn Cloverleaf is blocked though and it’s Moose coming in. Moose misses a charge and gets punched in the face before Aldis grabs an armbar.

We take a break and come back with Gresham hitting Moose in the ribs, allowing Gresham and Aldis to start working on the arm. Moose powers Gresham away though and it’s Swann coming back in for a rolling splash. It’s back to Moose for a heck of a whip into the corner to leave Gresham grabbing his chest, followed by a near chop to tag Swann back in.

A quick taunt of Aldis is enough for Gresham to be pulled back into the wrong corner. He slips out of what looked to be a powerbomb though and the diving tag brings in Aldis to pick up the pace. Moose gets dropped so Aldis’ top rope elbow can get two but it’s a double clothesline to put both of them down. Everything breaks down and Swann’s Lethal Injection gets two on Gresham. It’s back to Moose off a blind tag though and a powerbomb finishes Gresham at 13:31.

Rating: B-. This was a nice preview of the 8-4-1 match and that’s all it needed to be. We could be in for some interesting combinations in the match so throwing together a random tag match like this is what makes sense. Aldis continues to look good in his comeback and Swann/Gresham are both capable of doing whatever they need. Moose hasn’t been featured as much recently so this was a nice return to form.

Post match the brawl is on again, with Heath running in to help take Moose out. Aldis and Heath brawl to the floor so Swann loads up a dive, only to get caught by Bully Ray. PCO runs in for the slugout and hits the big dive through the ropes, allowing him to stand tall to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. Impact was in a really weird spot this week as they had two regular shows to build up the next monthly special. That isn’t a ton of time and they more or less opted to just go as fast as they could without going too in-depth with much of anything. Instead they had two good matches and some other stuff in the middle that worked out well enough. Tomorrow’s card has potential and I could go for seeing what they have in store. Things can get back to normal next week, and if the last few weeks are any indication, we should be in for a very nice build to Slammiversary.

Results
Chris Bey b. Jason Hotch – Rollup
Heath b. Champagne Singh – Wake Up Call
Joe Hendry b. Sheldon Jean – Standing Ovation
The Coven b. Death Dollz – Big boot/spinebuster combination to Rush
Trey Miguel b. Bhupinder Gujjar – Lightning Spiral
Moose/Rich Swann b. Jonathan Gresham/Nick Aldis – Powerbomb to Gresham

 

 

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Impact Wrestling – May 11, 2023: The Way I Like My Impact

Impact Wrestling
Date: May 11, 2023
Location: Cicero Stadium, Cicero, Illinois
Commentators: Tom Hannifan, Matthew Rehwoldt

We are inching closer to Under Siege and the World Title situation is looking interesting. PCO is scheduled to challenge Steve Maclin for the title and that is not exactly sitting well with the champ. Other than that, we have some matches rapidly being set, with Trinity possibly being added to the card. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

Opening sequence.

Masha Slamovich vs. Killer Kelly

Kelly crawls around to start and rolls a kicking Slamovich up for two. Back up and Kelly knocks her to the floor without much trouble, setting up the running kick to the chest. Some clotheslines drop Slamovich again, followed by a delayed release fisherman’s suplex for two. Slamovich runs her over and rips at Kelly’s face for a bit.

We hit the reverse chinlock but Kelly powers up and sends her into the corner for the break. Some Al Snow trapping headbutts set up a suplex into the corner, followed by a German suplex for two. Slamovich kicks her in the ribs for her own two, setting up a sunset driver for another near fall. Kelly shrugs it off and hits a Death Valley Driver, setting up the Killer Klutch. Slamovich is up with a rope walk and flips back onto Kelly for the pin at 8:42.

Rating: C+. Good stuff here, as Kelly continues to impress. Slamovich needed the win more here though, as she has fallen mostly through the floor in recent months. The talent is there, but at some point you have to win something. The same is true for Kelly, though she has never had the big opportunities that Slamovich has already earned. Nice opener here, and a change of pace from the usual fast paced starts to the show.

Kenny King gives Sheldon Jean a pep talk before his match.

We look back at Trinity’s debut last week.

Trinity wants the Knockouts Title and has an open contract for Under Siege. Jai Vidal comes in and grabs a quick photo, much to Trinity’s confusion.

Nick Aldis vs. Sheldon Jean

Kenny King is on commentary. Aldis headlocks him down a few times but it’s too early for the King’s Lynn Cloverleaf. They head outside with King offering a distraction so Jean can get in a cheap shot to take over. Back in and a side kick gives Jean two but Aldis fights up without much trouble. A Michinoku Driver gets two on Jean but he catches Aldis on top. With that broken up, Aldis drops the top rope elbow and the King’s Lynn Cloverleaf is good for the tap at 3:30.

Rating: C. Jean is decent enough to be one of the new designated jobbers whose name we know, though that might not have the longest shelf life. This was of course all about Aldis though, who looked fine in his return. That being said, at some point he is going to have to show that he can be more interesting and that has been an issue for him for years.

Dirty Dango and Joe Hendry are talking about who attacked Santino Marella when Johnny Swinger and Zicky Dice come in. Hendry and the two goons accuse each other, setting up Swinger vs. Dango. Well, after they call Santino to make it official. With the villains gone, Dango invites Hendry to his birthday party, where Hendry would be the only guest. Ok then.

We get part three of the Frankie Kazarian interviews, this time talking about his return and quest to become World Champion. Last year he won the X-Division Title again and used Option C but came up short again, though the World Title is still a goal. We talk about the various things he has done, many of which had nothing to do with the title. He is willing to fight anyone around, and now he’s the veteran, which is a spot that he loves to have. This really didn’t tell us much, but getting to know wrestlers a bit more like this is a great idea and that has been the case here.

Decay vs. Good Hands

The Hands introduce themselves and mock the Chicago Cubs like good villains should. Skyler and Steve start things off, with Steve taking him down for a neck crank. Taurus comes in for a modified What’s Up, followed by the running hurricanrana. Steve’s monkey flip is broken up though and a cheap shot (Tom: “Steve was blindsided!” The guy is legally blind so that’s not nice.) lets Hotch take him down again.

Steve’s double finger bite doesn’t work and it’s a belly to back suplex to cut him off. Steve Downward Spirals his way out of trouble, allowing the hot tag to Taurus. With Brian Myers coming out to watch, Taurus cleans house and everything breaks down. Steve dives onto Skyler but gets dropped by Myers. A Stunner over the ropes staggers Taurus into a middle rope G9 (Samoan drop/Blockbuster combination) for the pin at 5:09.

Rating: C+. Kind of a slow match but Myers hooking up with the Good Hands is a better move than having them work for Bully Ray, so they did something smart. Decay losing is a little weird, but it’s a fine enough way to establish the new unit. The Good Hands are, well, good hands, so there should be a place for them for awhile.

Post match Myers poses with the Good Hands.

Flashback Moment of the Week: Sarita/Taylor Wilde b. Beautiful People to win the Knockouts Tag Team Titles.

Steve Maclin is sick of Champagne Singh and Shera screwing up so he fires both of them. Singh and Shera have an idea.

Post break, Singh and Shera jump Heath.

Impact Wrestling World Title: Rhino vs. Steve Maclin

Maclin is defending and we get the Big Match Intros for a nice touch. They hit the stall button for a bit to start before trading arm control. Rhino powers him into the corner and Maclin has to stop for a breather. Some chops into a hiptoss look to set up the Gore but Maclin bails to the floor. That’s fine with Rhino, who crotches him on the barricade, only for a Stunner over the top to cut Rhino off.

Back in and Maclin goes after the leg, with some rams into the apron to make it worse. The middle rope headbutt misses for Maclin though and the slugout is on. Maclin is taken up top for a superplex and a near fall, leaving both of them down. Another Gore is loaded up but Maclin cuts out the leg again in a smart move. Maclin hits his own Gore for the pin to retain at 9:00.

Rating: C+. It was a bit of a slow match but Maclin gets a nice defense under his belt before he has to move on to PCO. Working on the leg was a good enough way to keep the match going and Maclin using the Gore was an even better touch. Maclin might not be the most interesting champion, but he had a perfectly fine title defense here.

Post match Maclin goes after the knee again and takes it out with a chair. Maclin isn’t done though as he wraps the chair around the leg and smashes it with a shovel. That’s FINALLY enough to draw out referees to break it up.

During the break, Rhino was taken out on a stretcher and into an ambulance, with Scott D’Amore there to watch. Maclin pops up and gets in a shouting match with D’Amore, who makes the Under Siege match against PCO No DQ. PCO appeared for the brawl and Maclin ran off.

Here is Joe Hendry for a chat. He was talking to Michael Jordan, who gave him some advice, but Hendry is the expert on wrestling. Hendry is here to hear them say WE BELIEVE and then introduces Dirty Dango.

Dirty Dango vs. Johnny Swinger

Joe Hendry and Zicky Dice are here too. Dango slugs away to start but gets choked on the rope for his efforts. Swinger stops to strut though, allowing Dango to block a stomp to the chest. A Falcon Arrow finishes Swinger at 1:16.

The Design is still mad at Sami Callihan and promises more suffering. The Army Of Violence comes in but Sami is there in disguise and chaos ensues. Much like this horrible story.

Moose isn’t sure what Brian Myers is up to with the Good Hands but doesn’t seem to like the idea. With Moose gone, Myers says he wants the Hands to become a team, so he’ll mold them into champions.

Here’s what’s coming on various shows.

Knockouts Tag Team Titles: Deonna Purrazzo/Jordynne Grace vs. The Coven

The Coven is defending. Purrazzo and King trade waistlocks to start before Purrazzo’s running hurricanrana takes her down. An armdrag into an armbar has King down and it’s off to Grace for a double hiptoss. An assisted moonsault gets two on King but Grace gets sent into the corner for an elbow to the face.

Grace elbows her way out of trouble but the Grace Driver is blocked. The Vader Bomb connects instead and we take a break with King in trouble. Back with Purrazzo kicking and dodging her way out of the corner, only to get dropped hard onto the apron. The slow beating continues, with Wilde choking in the corner and on the rope. Purrazzo fights out of the front facelock and kicks her way to freedom, allowing the hot tag off to Grace.

House is quickly cleaned until we settle down to Grace jumping over Wilde in the corner. Grace catches her in the corner and hits a MuscleBuster for two, with King making the save. Everything breaks down again and Grace is sent into Purrazzo by mistake, allowing Wilde to get two. With Purrazzo down, a Hart Attack (pump kick instead of clothesline) finishes Grace to retain at 14:29.

Rating: B-. The extra time helped here and the Coven continues to grow into a more respectable team. They already feel like the best team in Impact but given the rather shallow competition, that still leaves them with a lot to cover. For now though, beating two singles stars and keeping the Knockouts Title feud going is a good use of fifteen minutes in the main event.

Post match the Coven goes after Grace but Trinity runs in for the save. A lot of posing ends the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This was the Impact that I like: they had a bunch of stuff they wanted to cover and then did just that. It’s very nice to see them have an efficiently run show like this one which had enough good wrestling to keep me invested and nothing bad to hold it down. Nice work this week, and that is always good to see.

Results
Masha Slamovich b. Killer Kelly – Rollup
Nick Aldis b. Sheldon Jean – King’s Lynn Cloverleaf
Good Hands b. Decay – Samoan drop/middle rope Blockbuster combination to Taurus
Steve Maclin b. Rhino – Gore
Dirty Dango b. Johnny Swinger – Falcon Arrow
The Coven b. Jordynne Grace/Deonna Purrazzo – Pump kick/spinebuster combination to Grace

 

 

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Impact Wrestling – May 4, 2023: Here She Is

Impact Wrestling
Date: May 4, 2023
Location: Cicero Stadium, Cicero, Illinois
Commentators: Tom Hannifan, Matthew Rehwoldt

The road to under Siege continues and we should be in for a fun ride on the way there. With the main event already set up, there are still some spots that need to be filled in and some of those are likely to be covered this week. That should make for an interesting and important show so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

BREAKING NEWS: Trinity (formerly known as Naomi) has signed with Impact Wrestling and will be here with a live mic tonight.

Bhupinder Gujjar/Yuya Uemura vs. Brian Myers/Moose

Gujjar takes over on Myers to start and sends him into the corner. Uemura comes in to take Myers down and a knee drop gets two. It’s off to Moose, who gets knocked outside with Myers being sent into him. Gujjar and Uemura hit stereo dives to the floor to take them both down, followed by a middle rope bulldog to drop Moose back inside.

Moose powers him down and hands it back to Myers. The Roster Cut is countered into a belly to belly though and the double tag brings in Gujjar to plant Moose for two. The Gargoyle Spear misses but so does Moose’s spear. Gujjar hits a Sling Blade for two with Myers making the save. The spear gives Moose the pin on Gujjar at 6:47.

Rating: C+. Moose and Myers are actually turning into a nice heel team and I would not have bet on that being the case. Neither of them have much else to do so putting them together is a fine enough way to go. Gujjar continues to feel like a star in the making and Uemura is as solid of an up and coming hand as they have around here. Nice opener and better than I was expecting.

Steve Maclin/Champagne Singh/Shera are ready for whomever is dumb enough to team with PCO. Singh gives the interviewer money as she leaves (she seems surprised).

Dirty Dango is trying to figure out who attacked Santino Marella (he has a chart with strings attacking pictures, including who looks to be Tony Chimmel, Vladimir Kozlov and Tyler Breeze among several others). Dango summons Joe Hendry, who has a magnifying glass and asks about the hair Dango found at the crime scene last week. Worry not because Dango lost it (the 16 energy drinks in 36 hours might have caused the problem). Dango has a prim suspect though: Mike Tenay. Hendry thinks it might have been Trey Miguel, who doesn’t like Santino. A hug ensues.

Sami Callihan vs. Deaner

The rest of the Design is here with Deaner, who says Sami made a huge mistake by hitting him in the face with the baseball bat (which Sami has here). The fans think Deaner deserved it, which he says is giving Sami a false sense of hope. We’ll change things up instead.

Sami Callihan vs. Kon

The chokeslam plants Callihan and Angels stomps away behind the referee’s back until we get the opening bell. Sami quickly fights back and sends Kon the floor, where Kon trips him down to take back over. Kon runs him over and we take a break. Back with Kon dropping a knee for two and grabbing a bearhug. Callihan fights out and takes over but has to take out Angels. Deaner gets up on the apron with the baseball bat and gives Callihan the thumbs down, allowing the army of violence (the guys in yellow hoodies) to jump Callihan for the DQ at 10:21.

Rating: C-. Yeah I knew this feud wasn’t going to be over yet because I’m not that lucky. I still have no idea what is seen in either the Design of this feud in general but it has been going on for months now with no real end in sight. I’m sure Sami will have to go through all of them one by one before getting to face Deaner in what will be the most thrilling fight ever. Just get away from this stuff already and move on entirely.

Post match Deaner stares at Sami, who calls him a b****. The baseball bat to the face knocks Sami out.

Trey Miguel isn’t happy with being accused of attacking Santino Marella and thinks Dirty Dango had something to do with it. Joe Hendry wants to check Trey’s hair but finds nothing, leaving a confused Miguel to talk away.

Nick Aldis wants the World Title and he’s willing to work to get there. He doesn’t just get handed a title shot around here because the title is more valuable than that. Kenny King comes in to ask if Aldis is on the fast track or the easy train. Aldis thinks King is acting like a gatekeeper so Aldis will knock on that gate on his way to proving a point. King says he isn’t Scott D’Amore but seems interested.

Alisha Edwards vs. Jody Threat

Threat hits her in the face to start and hits some corner clotheslines. Threat misses a charge into the ropes but is right back with a German suplex. The F416 finishes Edwards at 2:56. That’s quite the defeat for someone who was being pushed a bit with Eddie Edwards.

The Motor City Machine Guns are excited that Chris Sabin will be getting an X-Division Title shot at Under Siege. They’ll always be a team but they can be successful on their own as well. Sabin is cool with getting a title shot at Under Siege (Sabin: “Which must be named after my second favorite Steven Segal movie.” Shelly: “What’s your first?” Sabin: “Under Siege II.” Shelley has to cover his face off that one.). With Sabin going after the X-Division Title, Shelly is going to go win the World Title.

We get the second part in the series of sitdown interviews with Frankie Kazarian, who talks about what he did when he left Impact in 2014. He went to Ring Of Honor and had to prove himself again, which was fine with him. Then he went to what would become AEW, but after having some success there as a team, it was time to prove himself back where he started, but on his own. He bet on himself and his future is here. These have been good and this worked too.

Steve Maclin/Champagne Singh/Shera vs. PCO/???/???

PCO is ready to go it alone but here are Heath and Rhino to say they’ll be the partners. Singh tags himself in to save Maclin from having to face PCO, earning a stomping in the corner. Rhino comes in and actually gets punched into the corner, only to chop his way to freedom. It’s off to Heath, who gets sent into the corner by Shera to take over.

Maclin comes in to stomp away but walks into a powerslam. That’s enough for a double tag to bring in PCO to beat up Singh, including a running flip dive through the ropes. Everything breaks down and Rhino Gores Maclin, leaving Heath to Wake Up Call Singh. The PCOsault finishes at 6:57.

Rating: C+. Nice match here and Singh played his role of designated loser rather well. Heath and Rhino are a good choice to put in here as the fans like them and they work well together as a team. Stringing out Maclin vs. PCO is a good idea, as Maclin can be scared of him until the title match and then escape with a win. This was a perfectly fine use of about ten minutes and that’s always nice to see.

The Coven is using magic on Deonna Purrazzo and Jordynne Grace.

The Death Dollz summon James Mitchell, who says the Coven isn’t powerful enough to block their access to the Undead Realm. He’ll fix it but won’t say what it costs. Rosemary, cleaver in hand, gives Jessicka an hourglass, saying they’ll be back before the sand runs out.

Jonathan Gresham vs. Mike Bailey

They shake hands to start but there seems to be some tension. Both catch the other’s kick before Gresham grabs a headscissors on the mat to take over. That’s broken up and they grapple against the ropes as we take a break. Back with Gresham kicking him in the face before snapping off an armdrag on what seems to be a banged up arm.

They go to a test of strength with Gresham getting him to the mat and cranking away on the hands. Bailey’s legs are fine enough to kick away but misses the big one to the head. Bailey goes for the arm as well before hitting the moonsault knees. The rapid fire kicks to the chest rock Gresham to send him outside, setting up the moonsault to the floor.

We take another break and come back again with Bailey kneeing him down for two. Gresham starts back in on the arm but gets kicked in the face for his efforts. They trade forearms until Bailey scores with the tornado kick. The Ultimate Weapon misses and Gresham slaps on the Octopus for the tap at 13:24.

Rating: B. Commentary kept hyping up how good these matches have been and yeah they’re not wrong. There is a chemistry that works here and it is amazing how much better a Bailey match can be when he doesn’t spend half of it not selling a leg injury. Gresham taking him down and getting him into the Octopus for the win worked, though I could go with not seeing these two together again for a bit.

Rich Swann comes up to Sami Callihan in the back, which doesn’t have Sami happy. Sami gets to the point: is Swann going to help him or not?

Steve Maclin complains to Scott D’Amore about Rhino, so he can defend the title against Rhino next week.

Here’s what’s coming on various shows.

Here is Trinity (formerly Naomi, not the Trinity from the old TNA days) for a debut chat and the fans seem happy to see her. She’s glad to be back and is happy to be in Impact, where she can glow. The reason she chose Impact is the most storied women’s division in wrestling and she wants a piece of it. She’s hear to make an impact and wants the Knockouts Title.

Cue Deonna Purrazzo, who says Trinity invoked her. She knows what it is like to be in a new place, so if Trinity wants a title shot, it isn’t something she can just walk out on. Trinity says facing her will make Purrazzo wish she got fired. Cue Jordynne Grace to say everyone wants to see the two of them fight, but she has the next title shot. Grace and Purrazzo argue but Trinity says she’s waiting on the winner. Trinity leaves them to stare each other down to end the show.

It was a good way to debut, but they treated Trinity like this huge arrival and….she’s just not that big of a star. She’s certainly a name, but this isn’t Becky Lynch showing up. That is one of the good signs for the Knockouts division: it has the depth and history that this isn’t the single most important moment that has ever happened. It’s still a cool moment though, if nothing else because of how she left WWE.

Overall Rating: B-. Another solid show here as they did their thing and started boosting up Under Siege. I’m curious to see where a lot of these stories are going and that makes for a good sign, as things are interesting enough that I want to keep watching. Considering Under Siege is a lower level show, Impact seems to be on something of a roll and the Trinity debut should be a nice boost that will get some extra attention. Good show this week, which is a long running trend.

Results
Moose/Brian Myers b. Bhupinder Gujjar/Yuya Uemura – Spear to Gujjar
Sami Callihan b. Kon via DQ when the Army of Violence interfered
Jody Threat b. Alisha Edwards – F416
PCO/Heath/Rhino b. Steve Maclin/Champagne Singh/Shera – PCOsault to Singh
Jonathan Gresham b. Mike Bailey – Octopus

 

 

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Rebellion 2023: They Did What They Could

Rebellion 2023
Date: April 16, 2023
Location: Rebel Sports Complex, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Matthew Rehwoldt, Tom Hannifan

It’s back to regular pay per view around here and that should make for a good show. The injury bug has struck Impact hard though as a new World and Knockouts Champion have to be crowned tonight. Other than that we have a Hardcore War, because we just needed more Tommy Dreamer vs. Bully Ray. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Heath/Rhino vs. Champagne Singh/Shera

Singh offers Heath money to throw the match but Heath throws the money instead. Heath works on the arm to take over before it’s off to Rhino vs. Shera. Rhino gets taken into the corner and Shera hammers away, setting up some choking on the ropes. Rhino gets in a clothesline but Shera is back up to knock Heath into the barricade. The belly to belly gets Rhino out of trouble for good though as the tag brings Heath in to clean house. Everything breaks down and Singh rolls Heath up, with Shera holding the feet for the pin at 6:08.

Rating: C. Very basic match to open things up here and that’s all it needed to be. They kept things moving and while I’m not sure about the logic of having Shera and Singh win, well anything really, it wasn’t long enough to get bad and the fans are going to cheer for Rhino and Heath. Just don’t expect me to care about Singh and we’ll be fine.

Post match Rhino Gores Singh.

Pre-Show: Knockouts Tag Team Titles: The Coven vs. Death Dollz

The Dollz are challenging and it’s Rosemary and Wilde both tagging out to start. It’s way too early for the Sick Driver so Jessicka clotheslines her to the floor instead. Back in and King is sent into the corner for a running splash from Rosemary. King manages to get over for the tag to Wilde, who quickly takes over on Rosemary. A running shoulder in the corner connects and Wilde runs her over again for a bonus.

Rosemary slugs at Wilde, who gets caught with a Codebreaker to cut her right back off. An exploder to Wilde gets Rosemary out of trouble though and there’s the double tag so Jessicka can clean house. Everything breaks down and it’s quickly back to Rosemary, who gets to bite King. The spear gives Rosemary two but Wilde makes a blind tag. Rosemary hits a second spear for no count, as instead she walks into a swinging fisherman’s neckbreaker to give Wilde the pin to retain at 9:39.

Rating: C. Slightly longer match than the opener here but it didn’t make that much of a difference. The Knockouts Tag Team Titles are certainly better than either Women’s Tag Team Title in WWE but that isn’t the biggest hurdle to clear. The division needs some more teams, but the Coven still feels fresh enough to make them last for a while to come.

The opening video focuses on the World and Knockouts Titles being vacated and how we need new champions.

Tag Team Titles: Motor City Machine Guns vs. Bullet Club

The Club is defending in Ultimate X. It’s a brawl to start with Sabin getting knocked down but Shelley back off, allowing Sabin to try for the belts. With that not working, the Guns are sent outside for stereo dives from the Club. Back in and the Guns take over on, with Austin’s arm getting banged up.

Austin and Sabin climb up at the same time with the bad arm being rammed into the structure. Sabin ties up both of the Guns and Shelley goes up but gets pulled back down fast. Bey’s knee is banged up but he’s fine enough to grab a quick DDT and give everyone a much needed breather.

With everyone else on the floor, Austin busts out the big flip dive to take out both Guns. Back in and everyone gets knocked down again before all four go up for a climb at once. They all come crashing down and it’s the Art of Finesse to drop Shelley, allowing Bey to pull down the titles and retain at 13:07.

Rating: B. Hot opener as expected but there wasn’t much in the way of climbing, which made it kind of a regular match until the ending. The good thing is the people involved are able to do just about anything and make it work so this went well. I did like the lack of climbing and insanity though, as it was more about the people rather than the big crashes and spots. You don’t get that kind of thing in a match like this very often and it was nice for a change.

Commentary runs down the card as the audio quality goes down.

Steve Maclin is upset over the situation because he wanted to win the title from Josh Alexander. He spent years in a war zone and now he is ready to tag em and bag em. Oh and beat Kushida.

We recap Callihan trying to join the Design in maybe the dumbest story going in wrestling today.

Design/Callihan vs. Dirty Dango/Santino Marella/Joe Hendry

Before the match, Hendry mocks Callihan and the Design because the fans believe in him. He introduces Santino and….I still have no idea why this is supposed to be interesting. Is he really that kind of Canadian hero? Dango suplexes Angels to start and brings in Santino to wrestle Angels down. The threat of the Cobra sends Angels into the corner for the tag off to Callihan.

Santino gets taken into the corner corner so the beating can begin. A quick escape allows the tag off to Hendry though and Kon is pulled out of the air. Deaner gets suplexed and the tag brings Dango in to take over on Callihan. The Dirtbag Shuffle hits Callihan but a Kon distraction lets the villains get in a cheap shot. Dango gets beaten down in the corner but he manages to knock Angels down, allowing the hot tag off to Santino.

Everything breaks down and Hendry hits a double fall away slam, only to get caught with the Cactus Special 97. Deaner’s discus lariat hits Santino but he wants Callihan to finish him off. Callihan is handed the baseball bat….and he hits Deaner with it (thank goodness). Callihan gives him the thumbs down and walks out, leaving Santino to hit the Cobra for the pin on Deaner at 10:40.

Rating: C+. Pretty basic six man with the focus being on Santino and Callihan. That isn’t the most thrilling match but the fans being into it helped things a lot. At the very least, we’re done with the idiotic Seven Deadly Whatevers for Callihan, meaning we can finally move on to ANYTHING else. Not a great match but the fans liked it enough so it could have been a lot worse.

Tommy Dreamer is sad about his mother’s health but wants to be here anyway to fight in her honor. Dreamer is leaving a bit after tonight, but he’s ready to fight with the people he loves.

We recap PCO vs. Eddie Edwards. Eddie turned on PCO during the Honor No More days, sending PCO into a quest for revenge. For some reason Eddie has tried to bury PCO multiple times, which has been as bad of an idea as it has sounded. Now PCO wants to end Eddie for good in a Last Rites match.

Eddie Edwards vs. PCO

Last Rites (casket) match with Alisha Edwards in Eddie’s corner. PCO wastes no time in diving onto Edwards and the fight is on outside. Edwards gets in a shot though and hits his own dive to take over. They get inside for the first time, where PCO hits a running corner clothesline and a DDT.

The middle rope legdrop hits Edwards again and the Deanimator makes it worse. Back in and a chokeshove sends Edwards right back to the floor but it’s too early for the casket. Edwards gets in a shot to the arm and yep that’s dislocated. A German suplex and superkick don’t make things better for PCO so he goes outside…and slams the shoulder into the post to pop it back in.

They chop it out (with PCO opening his vest to make it easier) and Edwards is in trouble again. The PCOsault connects and Edwards gets chokeslammed onto the apron for another painful crash. Edwards gets in a shot of his own and smashes a kendo stick over PCO’s head. The Boston Knee Party connects but PCO pops back up. Cue Alisha with a shovel to the back for no avail, leaving PCO to chokeslam Eddie into the casket for the win at 13:46.

Rating: B-. PCO is not an overly complicated idea and sometimes that is what you need. In his case, you have a monster who is going to hurt people and is nearly unstoppable, which is exactly what you had here. I’m not sure what is next for PCO, but Edwards needs to go away for the time being while PCO moves off to something else. Good brawl here though, with PCO’s monster offense being great.

Trey Miguel’s promo….cannot be heard as there is no sound.

We recap Trey Miguel defending the X-Division Title against Mike Bailey and Jonathan Gresham. In short, two challengers, stupid champion, interference, triple threat results.

X-Division Title: Jonathan Gresham vs. Mike Bailey vs. Trey Miguel

Miguel is defending in an elimination match. They go with some three way grappling to start and that’s good for a three way standoff. Gresham and Bailey double hiptoss Miguel for a double two before Miguel is smart enough to bail to the ramp. The other two get to fight a bit until Miguel comes back in with an enziguri to Gresham.

Bailey is back up with a missile dropkick to Gresham and the standing shooting star gets two on Miguel. Bailey Indian Deathlocks Gresham and suplexes Miguel at the same time to crank on the leg even harder. Miguel gets dropped again and the challengers get to slug it out. Bailey poisonranas Gresham and crashes outside with Miguel in a big heap. Gresham dives onto Miguel but Bailey dives onto both of them to take over again.

Miguel cutters Bailey down and hits a big running version over the top for two on Gresham inside. Gresham is fine enough to Figure Four Bailey (that won’t work) but Miguel breaks it up with a top rope Meteora to eliminate Gresham at 9:45. Miguel figures Bailey’s four and they chop it out with the hold still on.

Bailey finally breaks out and wins a chop off until he kicks Miguel in the face. A standing flipping slam gives Bailey two and there’s the tornado kick. The Ultimate Weapon misses so Bailey sends him outside for the standing moonsault knees. Back in and the Ultimate Weapon only hits mat, allowing Miguel to roll him up with trunks to retain at 13:53.

Rating: B. Good, fast paced match here which shouldn’t be a surprise, much like holding Bailey in a pair of Figure Fours for two minutes straight making him do more flips and kicks. That is just something you know is coming from Bailey but at least now we get to move on to more of Miguel as champion. His time as champion is getting to be impressive as he is getting into the all time ranks and that can make for some very fun times.

We recap Team Bully vs. Team Dreamer. This is all about Bully Ray vs. Tommy Dreamer, which has been going on for about six months now. Ray pretended to be good, Dreamer wasn’t sure, Ray revealed he was evil, it’s time for a big fight with friends because they used to be around each other in ECW.

Team Bully vs. Team Dreamer

Bully Ray, Moose, Brian Myers, Masha Slamovich, Kenny King
Tommy Dreamer, Killer Kelly, Yuya Uemura, Frankie Kazarian, Bhupinder Gujjar

It’s basically WarGames without the cage, with the first two entrants in for three minutes. Then Team Bully (thanks to winning a match on Impact) gets an advantage for ninety seconds. All ten have to get in and then it’s first pin or submission, anything goes. Moose starts for Team Bully and Frankie Kazarian starts for Team Dreamer.

Kazarian starts fast by throwing a trashcan at Moose’s head and we’re ready to go. Moose fires back with a chop and they head outside, where Kazarian sets up a table. We’ll save that for later though as they head back inside, with Kazarian sending him into the corner. Brian Myers is in to give Ray the advantage and he sets up another table next to the first.

Bhupinder Gujjar evens things up and goes after Myers to give Kazarian a breather. The cheese grater to the head has Myers busted open (good thing he is in a white shirt) and Moose gets trashcan lidded down. Kenny King is in to uneven things again and house is quickly cleaned. Moose hits Gujjar in the head with a bottle of water and Killer Kelly makes it 3-3. That means a staple gun to Myers’ head and another shot between Moose’s legs. Then Kelly staples her own head and it’s Masha Slamovich in to give the villains control again.

Everyone else is knocked down and it’s Myers alone to face Yuya Uemura as things are evened up. The good guys clear the ring again and it’s Bully Ray to complete his own team. Ray is smart enough to take his time so the rest of his team can get back up and jump Team Dreamer. Kelly is held down but it’s Dreamer to even things up with the kendo stick. Dreamer goes after the leg….and everyone else gets involved for a ten person chain submission for quite the visual.

Kelly and Slamovich have a chair duel until Ray shoves Kelly off the top. Moose spears Ray by mistake and Uemura hits Moose with a high crossbody. The Killer Klutch has King in trouble but Slamovich breaks it up and Snow Plows Kelly. Dreamer piledrives Slamovich but here are the Good Hands to jump him.

Kazarian breaks that up and let’s bring in a ladder. The Good Hands come back in to go after Kelly, who beats them up like the goons they are. Kazarian cutters Skyler through the tables at ringside but Ray low blows Dreamer inside. Another table is set up….and here are a bunch of referees to beat Ray up for revenge from the last few weeks. Dreamer drops Ray and, with the referees holding the ladder, goes up to splash Ray through said table for the win at 25:07.

Rating: C. What is there to say here? You have a bunch of other people there to keep everyone else warm for the sake of Ray vs. Dreamer. This is a feud that has been going on for months for reasons I still don’t quite get, but hopefully this should wrap it up. The hardcore stuff was kind of there but it was all basic stuff with only a few spots of note. It was fine enough and far better than Ray vs. Dreamer on their own, but it has been a story that wasn’t interesting for months and wasn’t much better here in the blowoff.

We recap the World title match. Josh Alexander had to vacate the title after about a year long reign, setting up #1 contender Steve Maclin vs. Kushida, the best remaining option. There isn’t much heat on the match, but it is a case where they didn’t have another choice and are doing the best they can.

Impact Wrestling World Title: Kushida vs. Steve Maclin

For the vacant title and former World Champion Nick Aldis is here as a surprise guest commentator. Aldis says he is officially back in Impact, which is better than nothing for him. Kushida goes right at him to start fast but it’s way too early for the Hoverboard Lock. Back up and Kushida rides him into a headlock without much trouble as Maclin can’t get anything going here.

Kushida can’t hit the basement dropkick so he takes it over into a wristlock instead. The Hoverboard Lock is blocked again and this time Maclin sends him throat first into the top rope to take over. A backbreaker gives Maclin two and Kushida’s back is sent into the post. They head outside with Maclin grabbing a suplex and dropping an elbow off the apron, though he might have banged up his knee in the process.

We hit the chinlock with a knee in Kushida’s back as Maclin certainly has a target. An Angle Slam is blocked though and Kushida hits a running kick to the arm. A discus forearm sets up the small package driver to give Kushida two but Maclin is fine enough to crotch him on top. They go to the ramp where Kushida hits a running shot to the arm but said arm is fine enough for a German suplex back inside.

A buckle bomb into a sitout powerbomb gives Maclin two and he puts Kushida on top. That is hardly the best idea as Kushida pulls him down into a cross armbreaker. Maclin gets over to the rope for the break and they crash out to the floor again. Back in and Maclin’s spear in the corner sets up the KIA for two, leaving Maclin frustrated.

Maclin goes up top but dives into the Hoverboard Lock, only to break it up with some forearms to the head. Another Hoverboard Lock goes on but Maclin reverses into a Death Valley Driver into the corner. Kushida gets the Hoverboard Lock AGAIN, only to have Maclin reverse into another KIA for the pin and the title at 18:27.

Rating: B. That was about the only way they could go as Kushida was a filler opponent for Maclin. That isn’t something they could really get around given the circumstances and it wound up being a rather good match anyway. Maclin has been built up to be champion for months now and it was the only conclusion they had here. Kushida going for the arm time after time but having Maclin escape it at every turn worked well. They were limited in what they could do and made it work as well as possible.

Post match Maclin insists that Scott D’Amore come out and hand him the title. D’Amore does so and gets hit in the face with the belt. Nick Aldis gets in and glares Maclin off. Aldis works just fine for a first challenger, as Maclin has already run through a lot of the other options.

Here are some upcoming major events. Multiverse United 2 is on August 20.

We recap the Knockouts Title match. Again the champion, Mickie James in this case, was forced to vacate the title due to injury so we have the #1 contender and a former champion fighting for the title.

Knockouts Title: Deonna Purrazzo vs. Jordynne Grace

For the vacant title. They shake hands to start and Grace grinds away on a headlock. Purrazzo cranks away on the arm and has Grace in some early pain. Some armdrags into a running hurricanrana has Grace in more trouble but she sends Purrazzo outside. That means a dropkick through the ropes and a Jackhammer on the floor as Purrazzo is rocked.

A rather stalled suplex gives Grace a slightly delayed two but she has to roll out of a Fujiwara armbar. The Queen’s Gambit on the ramp is broken up so Purrazzo settles for a moonsault to the floor instead. Back in and the Queen’s Gambit is broken up again but Purrazzo is able to grab a Koji Clutch.

Grace powers out and drops her hard with a Vertebreaker for all things for two. The Grace Driver is blocked and she pulls Purrazzo into a rear naked choke. They trade some strikes but Purrazzo pulls her into the Fujiwara armbar. Make that the Venus De Milo but a foot on the rope is good for the break. Back up and Grace’s spinebuster gets two, followed by a Grace Driver for the same (as Rehwoldt is getting into these near falls). Purrazzo counters a superplex into a sunset bomb, setting up the Queen’s Gambit for the pin and the title at 17:06.

Rating: B. This is an interesting way to go as I would have expected Grace to win but Purrazzo is a completely acceptable choice as well. Grace had held the title for a long time until James took it off of her but it has been a bit since Purrazzo. They could go quite an interesting direction with Purrazzo fighting off some challengers and hurting some arms, so this was certainly a smart idea. It was a good match as well, similar to Kushida vs. Maclin actually, but with the submission holds having more success until Purrazzo managed to pull it off.

They hug to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. They were in a rough place here as the two biggest matches had stories thrown together over the last two weeks. That left the main story of Bully Ray vs. Tommy Dreamer with four friends each. Given what they had, they had put on a rather strong show, which has been the case for their bigger events in recent memory. Good show here, and worth some extra praise all things considered.

Results
Champagne Singh/Shera b. Heath/Rhino – Rollup to Heath
The Coven b. Death Dollz – Swinging fisherman’s neckbreaker to Rosemary
Bullet Club b. Motor City Machine Guns – Bey pulled down the titles
Santino Marella/Dirty Dango/Joe Hendry b. The Design/Callihan – Cobra to Deaner
PCO b. Eddie Edwards – Chokeslam into the casket
Trey Miguel b. Jonathan Gresham and Mike Bailey – Rollup with trunks to Bailey
Team Dreamer b. Team Bully – Splash through a table to Ray
Steve Maclin b. Kushida – KIA
Deonna Purrazzo b. Jordynne Grace – Queen’s Gambit

 

 

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Impact Wrestling – March 16, 2023: The Balancing Act

Impact Wrestling
Date: March 16, 2023
Location: Sam’s town Live, Las Vegas, Nevada
Commentators: Tom Hannifan, Matthew Rehwoldt

Sacrifice is next week and the card, while is looking a bit stacked, is coming together. That means we are likely to get some more build towards Tommy Dreamer vs. Bully Ray this week, as that is likely headlining the show. Otherwise, the six man tag featuring Time Machine should see some more setup as well. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

In the desert, PCO screams for Eddie Edwards to come fight him.

Opening sequence.

Mike Bailey/Jonathan Gresham vs. Decay

Steve has to bail to the ropes to escape Gresham to start but a bite of the hand has Gresham in trouble. Bailey comes in and is sent outside just as fast, leaving Decay to double team Gresham down in the corner. Gresham gets sent into the corner but forearms/dropkicks his way to freedom. Bailey comes in to backflip a bit and kicks Steve down. There’s the running shooting star for two on Steve…who bites on Bailey’s boot.

The boot is fine enough for the bouncing kicks but Steve hits a clothesline for the double knockdown. Taurus comes in for his huge backbreaker into a pop up Samoan drop for two on Bailey. Everything breaks down and Gresham sends Steve outside, leaving Bailey to kick Taurus in the head for one. Steve and Gresham fight on the floor as Bailey hits the spinning kick, setting up the Ultimate Weapon for the pin on Taurus at 6:19.

Rating: C+. This was shorter than I was expecting but Bailey didn’t managed to no sell a bad knee so he is doing better than usual. Other than that, it was the partners who don’t quite like each other teaming together to beat a midcard team, which isn’t a horrible stretch. Bailey is a popular enough star to carry the opener, and the Ultimate Weapon does look painful so had a nice start here.

Post match Gresham and Bailey seem a bit testy with each other but respect is shown.

Josh Alexander, Frankie Kazarian and Rich Swann are ready for the Bullet Club tonight. They’ve been successful on their own and now it’s time to succeed together. They trust each other, but here is Steve Maclin to interrupt, with Swann not seeming pleased.

Gisele Shaw says she didn’t lost last week and blames Deonna Purrazzo. Revenge is coming at Sacrifice. Johnny Swinger and Zicky Dice come in and suggest Swinger faces….interviewer Gia Miller? Instead, he’ll face Jai Vidal.

Steve Maclin vs. Heath

Heath starts fast with some running forearms but gets sent into the corner to cut him off. Maclin runs him over with a good shot to the face until a backdrop sends him to the floor. We take a break and come back with Maclin beating him up at ringside and choking on the rope. A backbreaker gives Maclin two and we hit the abdominal stretch. Heath fights out and slugs away, including the jumping knee and powerslam for two. Maclin cuts off a bulldog though and ties him in the Tree of Woe, setting up the spear. KIA finishes Heath at 12:04.

Rating: C+. I’m still kind of amazed at what Heath has been doing in Impact as he has turned into a rather reliable in-ring star without doing much of the comedy. Granted he never really got the chance to show what he could do so maybe this has been there all along. That being said, this was all about getting Maclin another win on his path to the World Title shot and that went well.

The Death Dollz are ready to retain the Knockout Tag Team Titles but Taya says Jessika might be too much of a liability. Taya and Rosemary can handle this themselves, which (after Jessika leaves), seems to be because they think Jessika could be swayed.

PCO has walked from the desert to Las Vegas, shouting or Eddie on the way.

Jonathan Gresham calls Mike Bailey his sidekick but Bailey says he isn’t forgetting Gresham beating him. They’ll run it back at Sacrifice.

Johnny Swinger vs. Jai Vidal

Zicky Dice, Savannah and Gisele Shaw are all here too. Swinger doesn’t think much of Vidal to start and his offer of a test of strength is answered with a dropkick. Vidal drops an elbow to send Swinger into the corner but a charge misses. Dice grabs Vidal’s leg and gets ejected, with the distraction letting Swinger choke on the rope. Evans breaks up the camel clutch and gets ejected, along with Shaw. Cue Deonna Purrazzo to jump Shaw, leaving Vidal to hit a running dropkick to finish Swinger at 3:22.

Rating: C. Total comedy match here and yeah it worked well, as does almost everything that Swinger does. Having him lose over and over is a funny idea, as he is still trying to find someone he can beat. Vidal was fine enough in the ring, but this was all about Swinger (and Purrazzo in the end) and he delivered.

Deaner talks about Callihan’s sixth step when Callihan storms in to yell about last week. Callihan’s sixth step is about taking punishment, which he’ll do. Deaner seems to have an idea. Here’s an idea: WRAP THIS STORY UP ALREADY!

PCO arrives at the arena, still screaming for Eddie Edwards.

Mickie James comes up to Tommy Dreamer, who has requested that they have a mixed tag against Bully Ray and Masha Slamovich next week. Jordynne Grace comes in to say this is a bad idea and promises that she’s still coming for the title.

Here is Eddie Edwards for a chat. He has been thinking a lot and is ready to let the past be in the past. Everything that has happened before is over and it is time for him to focus on himself and his future in Impact. We look at someone in a car saving Eddie from PCO last week and…here is PCO. Before he can make it to the ring though, Kenny King comes up from behind and hits him with a shovel, allowing Edwards to come up for the double team.

Commentary speculates that King was driving Edwards’ getaway car last week before PCO sits up on the ramp. The brawl is on and PCO gets crushed between the steps and post. That’s broken up and PCO (bleeding from the back of the head) cleans house, only to have King grab a Blockbuster. The chair is put over PCO’s head and Edwards crushes it with a kendo stick. This isn’t going to end well for them is it?

Santino Marella is in the back with….Vladimir Kozlov of all people. They’re happy to be back together and then Kozlov leaves. Dirty Dango comes in and can’t say Kozlov’s name. That’s enough for SAY HIS NAME AND HE APPEARS, so here is Joe Hendry, who wants Brian Myers. Santino makes the match so Dango can gush over what a Hendry fan he is. It’s such a big deal that Santino makes Hendry and Dango against Myers and Moose.

Knockouts Tag Team Titles: The Coven vs. Death Dollz

The Dollz (Rosemary/Taya Valkyrie) are defending and Jessika is here with them. Taya crossbodies King down to start and hands it off to Rosemary for a suplex. Wilde comes in to slug away, earning a bite to the hear from Rosemary. Everything breaks down and the Coven is clotheslined to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Rosemary fighting out of a chinlock but getting pulled down by the hair. Wilde chokes in the corner but Rosemary manages a quick Upside Down. King is knocked away and the hot tag brings in Taya to clean house. The running hip attack and running knees in the corner hit King for two but Wilde hits a Fameasser over the ropes. Everything breaks down but King breaks up the Road To Valhalla. Instead Wilde hits a kick to the head and King’s pumphandle flipping faceplant connects for the pin and the titles at 11:32.

Rating: C+. Taya appearing on this week’s Dynamite didn’t exactly help with the result but well done on trying to make some new stars out of nowhere. Wilde has been trying to find her way back to prominent since her return and King has only been around for a few weeks. Nice match too, without Jessika playing into the finish as they seemed to telegraph.

Here’s what’s coming on various shows.

Josh Alexander/Rich Swann/Frankie Kazarian vs. Bullet Club

Kazarian flips out of Bey’s wristlock to start but Bey kicks him into the corner. There’s a running chop and it’s Austin coming in. That’s fine with Kazarian, who sends Bey outside and grabs Austin’s arm. Swann comes in and is quickly dropped with a springboard dropkick, allowing Austin to grab a headlock (as is the customary followup to a springboard missile dropkick). That’s broken up as well and it’s off to Kenta vs. Alexander, which has the fans’ approval. They slowly slug it out until everything breaks down, with Bullet Club being sent to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Bey kicking Swann in the head and motioning that Swann is asleep. Austin and Bey use some precision kicks to put Swann down for two but Bey misses a legdrop. Kenta isn’t having any of this tagging stuff though and kicks Swann right back down. Swann manages a kick though and it’s Kazarian coming back in to really clean house.

Everything breaks down and Alexander comes in to strike on Bey. The hurricanrana is countered into a powerbomb on Bey and Swann adds the middle rope 450. Austin makes the save and it’s time for the exchange of kicks to the head. Swann flips off the apron onto Swann but gets taken down by Bey.

The slingshot dive is loaded up but Kazarian pulls bey out of the air into a cutter onto the pile (that was great). Back in and Swann hits an ax kick to Bey and Kazarian adds the slingshot DDT to Austin. Kenta knees Swann down but gets dropped by Alexander. Cue Steve Maclin for a distraction though and Alexander gets kicked down. The Art of Finesse into the Fold finishes Swann at 17:57.

Rating: B. This was rolling by the end and the Maclin distraction was about all they could have done to get out of this without something rather screwy. You don’t want the new champs winning and Kenta probably isn’t getting pinned, so having Maclin there was the best way out. Rather good match too, with talented wrestlers getting time to do what they can.

Overall Rating: B-. Impact is somehow managing to build towards three shows (granted one of them is in name only for the most part) at once and thankfully they didn’t bother with that much about Tommy Dreamer vs. Bully Ray. That feud doesn’t need any more time and hopefully they can have their match and move on (yeah I know there’s no way that’s it). Other than that, you had some build towards Sacrifice, which is looking rather strong. Good show this week, as we should be in for a nice few weeks coming up.

Results
Mike Bailey/Jonathan Gresham b. Decay – Ultimate Weapon to Black Taurus
Steve Maclin b. Heath – KIA
Jai Vidal b. Johnny Swinger – Running dropkick
The Coven b. Death Dollz – Pumphandle flipping faceplant to Valkyrie
Bullet Club b. Josh Alexander/Rich Swann/Frankie Kazarian – Fold to Swann

 

 

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Impact Wrestling – March 9, 2023: There’s Good And Bad

Impact Wrestling
Date: March 9, 2023
Location: Sam’s Town Live, Las Vegas, Nevada
Commentators: Tom Hannifan, Matthew Rehwoldt

We are on our way to a trio of shows with Sacrifice, Multiverse United and Rebellion, which makes for quite the packed series of builds. That got started last week with a little something for each show getting time, but they are going to have to do it again for the next few weeks. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

Here is Bully Ray to get things going. At No Surrender, Tommy Dreamer used the words “someone like me” (meaning Ray). What did he mean when he said that? Did he mean a two time Hall of Famer or half of the greatest tag team ever? Maybe a two time World Champion?

Ray wishes he knew what Dreamer meant, because he threw hot coffee into Dreamer’s face. Dreamer wants a Busted Open match at Sacrifice but there is no way Dreamer is making it there. Cue Santino Marella to call Bully “Bobby Ray” and say that Dreamer will be at Sacrifice. It was only a minor burn to his balls….er, eyeball so he’ll be fine.

Cue Bhupinder Gujjar to speak Hindi and issue a challenge for right now. Santino makes the match and we’re on. This Santino stuff is getting REALLY old as he’s still doing the same “gee I sure do talk funny” shtick, which can be charming for all of 12 seconds before you realize that he’s making the crowd chuckle over what was supposed to be a serious angle.

Bhupinder Gujjar vs. Bully Ray

Ray’s chain shot doesn’t work to start so he clotheslines Gujjar down instead. Gujjar gets up and yells a lot, seemingly inviting Ray to hit him. Ray’s right hands are shrugged off and Gujjar dropkicks him down. Ray catches him on top though and loads up the chain, which takes too long as well, allowing Gujjar to get in a shot of his own. Gujjar loads up the chain but gets low blowed for the DQ at 3:31.

Rating: D+. Remember when Gujjar was looking like he could be something? Well now he’s cannon fodder in the star making feud between Bully Ray and Tommy Dreamer. This was hardly a high energy match and was much more about Ray trying to get out of having the actual match. Nothing to see here, but thank goodness Ray got his time in.

Post match Ray chains Gujjar in the back but Tommy Dreamer comes in for the save (Why didn’t he come out earlier?). Cue Masha Slamovich to hit Dreamer low but Mickie James makes the save. The women brawl until Dreamer gets up to chase Ray off with a chair.

PCO is next to a grave with a shovel and screams for Eddie Edwards to come fight him.

Josh Alexander comes up to Rich Swann and gets him on his team for a six man at Sacrifice. Steve Maclin comes in but Swann says this isn’t about him. Frankie Kazarian comes in and Maclin leaves, with Kazarian seemingly joining Swann and Alexander at Sacrifice.

Callihan vs. Rhino

The Design and Heath are here too. They trade shoulders to start and neither goes anywhere. The fight heads outside with Callihan raking the eyes and posting him to take over. A Russian legsweep on the ramp puts Rhino down again and the seconds get in an argument. We take a break and come back with Rhino hitting a TKO for two, followed by a belly to belly. A hard clothesline out of the corner cuts Rhino off but it’s too early for the Cactus Driver 97. Angels grabs Callihan’s foot though and Khan adds a chair to the face, allowing Rhino to hit the Gore for the pin at 10:11.

Rating: C. This was as good as a ten minute Rhino vs. Callihan match was going to be as there is only so much the two of them are going to pull off. Rhino is still able to have a watchable enough match and it is nice to see him get a win here. At the same time, the Callihan/Design stuff is still pretty horrible and it needs to wrap up soon. It won’t, but it needs to.

Trey Miguel interrupts Dirty Dango and Santino Marella in the back, asking what they’re going to do for him. That works for Santino, who makes Miguel vs. a handpicked opponent at Sacrifice, plus a six way match for the X-Division Title at Multiverse United. Johnny Swinger and Zicky Dice come in to see if Miguel is as tall as Sky Low Low. With Miguel gone, Swinger asks about facing Dango, who says he’s the assistant Director of Authority. Swinger and Dice leave, so Marella says that isn’t Dango’s job. Dango: “It’s not a job. It’s a way of life.”

During the break, Callihan was mad at the Design but was told that was step #6.

Jordynne Grace vs. Alex Gracia

Grace powers her into the corner to start as we hear about Grace competing as a bodybuilder. A German suplex out of the corner gets two on Gracia but the Grace Driver is blocked. Instead Grace grabs a torture rack spin into a powerbomb. Now the Grace Driver finishes Gracia off at 2:26.

Moose comes up to Joe Hendry, who is telling jokes to a bunch of fans. Brian Myers jumps Hendry from behind and the big beatdown is on.

The Bullet Club, complete with Kenta, come in to mock Josh Alexander/Frankie Kazarian/Rich Swann. The six man is set for next week. Alexander mocks Ace Austin and Chris Bey for being overly excited about being the Tag Team Champions, which doesn’t sit well with the champs.

Jonathan Gresham vs. Kushida

They go technical to start (yes really) with neither being able to get very far. Instead they shake hands and spin around a lot while fighting over arm control. Neither gets very far so Kushida takes it to the mat and rides him a bit. Gresham reverses into a hammerlock on the mat but Kushida gets to his feet, with Gresham still cranking away. It’s finally broken up and Kushida stomps on Gresham’s hand but Gresham is right back with another armbar.

Kushida’s armbar sends Gresham to the rope so Kushida dropkicks the arm to keep him in trouble. Gresham is right back with la majistral for two so he tries it again, only to get reversed into a cradle to give Kushida two of his own. Back up and Kushida sends him into the ropes, which bangs up Gresham’s arm again. The Hoverboard Lock makes Gresham tap at 10:04.

Rating: B-. This was the technical match that you knew it would be and it made Kushida look that much better because he beat someone on his level. Both of them are established names but Kushida is on his way to the World Title shot at Multiverse United so he needed the win here. Good match, and different from everything else on the show.

Eddie Edwards goes to the grave where PCO called him out. That sounds like a very bad idea.

Here is Killer Kelly to sit in a chair and call out Taylor Wilde. Cue Wilde, who says this isn’t about Kelly but rather the future. Kelly doesn’t think much of Wilde telling the future with cards, because she controls her own destiny. Taylor pulls out the tower card and it’s KiLynn King coming in from behind to chair Kelly down. A Death Valley Driver plants Kelly again. I’ve liked King in the past so this is interesting.

Still at the grave, PCO swings his shovel at a rock.

The Death Dollz teleport in to console Killer Kelly, with Rosemary telling her that she needs to grasp the darker realm. Kelly doesn’t seem convinced but says she can handle a 2-1 situation herself. With Kelly gone, KiLynn King and Taylor Wilde come in to make the Knockouts Tag Team Titles challenge. Rosemary is in, if King and Wilde agree to give up the dark arts if they lose. Deal.

Eddie Edwards arrives at the grave but there is no PCO. Then PCO pops up behind him but misses the big swing with the shovel. They fight a bit and PCO sends him into a rock. Eddie manages to grab the shovel but PCO drops him with a reverse DDT (as you do in a fight by a grave). PCO sends him into the grave but here’s a car to run PCO over. Eddie gets in the car and rides away but we never see who is driving.

Here’s what’s coming on various shows.

Knockouts Title: Gisele Shaw vs. Mickie James

Shaw, with Jai Vidal and Savannah Evans, is challenging and Deonna Purrazzo is on commentary. Mickie takes her down with a headlock to start but gets reversed into a headscissors. Back up and they fight over wrist control until Mickie sends her outside for a crash to send us to a break.

We come back with Shaw sending her into the corner to take over. Mickie’s Thesz press gives her a breather though and they slowly slug it out. Shaw gets the better of things and grabs a reverse chinlock to keep James down. Back up and Shaw charges into a boot in the corner, allowing Mickie to hurricanrana her out. The comeback is on but Mickie has to dive onto the goons on the floor.

Shaw gets in a cheap shot to take over again though and the chops have Mickie in trouble in the corner. A pull of the hair drops Mickie again but she explodes out of the corner for the double knockdown. Mickie strikes away and hits a flapjack as the referee seems to tell her how much time is left. The top rope Thesz press gets two on Shaw but Vidal’s distraction breaks up the MickieDT. Purrazzo breaks that up so Shaw grabs a rollup, only to have Purrazzo turn it back over so Mickie can retain at 17:00.

Rating: B-. This match got a lot of time and the ending seems to bring Purrazzo either into the title picture or in line for a showdown with Shaw (or perhaps both). For now though, these two had a good match, with Shaw holding up her end and James being her usual awesome self. It felt like a big time main event and that is a hard trick to pull off a lot of the time.

Overall Rating: C+. This show got better as it went on but there were definitely some rocky points. There are some parts here which just aren’t very good and give me no reason to want to see what happens in them from week to week. Stuff such as Ray vs. Dreamer and the Design/Callihan stuff is just there with few positives to either of them and it hurts to watch them. Then on the other hand you have the solid Knockouts division and the main event feuds, though a lot of that seems to be on hold until we get closer to the build to Rebellion. For now though, the bad stuff gets bailed out, as the positives are quite positive.

Results
Bhupinder Gujjar b. Bully Ray via DQ when Ray hit him low
Rhino b. Callihan – Gore
Jordynne Grace b. Alex Gracia – Grace Driver
Kushida b. Jonathan Gresham – Hoverboard Lock
Mickie James b. Gisele Shaw – Rollup

 

 

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Impact Wrestling – February 16, 2023: It Took Long Enough

Impact Wrestling
Date: February 16, 2023
Location: Osceola Heritage Park, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Tom Hannifan, Matthew Rehwoldt

We are some amount of days away from No Surrender and that means it is time for some other qualifying match for the #1 contenders match. Other than that, hopefully we get more build towards Josh Alexander defending the World Title against Rich Swann. Also hopefully, we get less build towards the eventual Tommy Dreamer vs. Bully Ray showdown. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

In Memory Of Jerry Jarrett.

Opening recap.

Chris Bey vs. Kushida

Yeah this works and Ace Austin/the Motor City Machine Guns are the seconds. Kushida takes him down without much trouble to start with Bey having to bail to the ropes. Bey picks up the speed and sweeps out the leg before hitting a kick to the head. They head outside with Kushida getting sent into the apron, only to kick the arm out on the way back inside.

The arm is slammed into the mat and Kushida twists it around for a bonus. Bey heads outside and manages something like an apron 619. A double clothesline puts them both down and it’s a double dive back in at nine. Kushida goes after the arm again but Bey manages a torture rack neckbreaker for two.

A front flip double kick to the face sends Bey outside and the BIG flip dive drops him again. Back in and Kushida kicks at the bad arm but Bey gets in a quick knockdown. The Art of Finesse is broken up and Kushida gets a cross armbreaker, only to get reversed into a cradle for two. Kushida grabs an arm trap into a small package for the pin at 11:42.

Rating: B. Oh like this wasn’t going to be really good. Kushida can still go with anyone and Bey looked great even in defeat. It was the kind of back and forth match that you need every so often, with Kushida’s submission stuff against Bey’s athleticism and quickness. Heck of an opener here and every bit of what I was expecting.

Tommy Dreamer and Bully Ray have a sitdown with Santino Marella. The solution is a live Busted Open Radio segment at No Surrender with their fellow host Dave Lagreca moderating. They argue over gets to go first with Santino making a Beat The Clock Challenge next week with the winner getting to go first. When they talk.

No Surrender #1 Contenders Qualifying Match: Rhino vs. Steve Maclin

Maclin elbows him in the face a few times but Rhino takes it to the corner for some chops. Rhino gets the better of the battle over a suplex but it’s too early for the Gore. They go outside with Rhino being sent shoulder first into the post as we take a break. Back with Maclin getting two off a clothesline and then choking on the ropes for a bonus. A bunch of stomps set up the chinlock, followed by Maclin missing a middle rope headbutt. Rhino’s belly to belly gets two and the spinebuster follows. The Gore is loaded up but Maclin spears him down for two, setting up Heath’s Wake Up Call to give Maclin the pin at 11:04.

Rating: C+. The ending was little more than a formality as Maclin gets to run over someone else on his way to the likely World Title shot at Rebellion. Rhino got in his usual stuff before falling, which is the only way this should have gone. Decent match too as Maclin continues to shine in pretty much whatever he does.

Masha Slamovich doesn’t think Mickie James is taking her seriously enough so she’ll prove herself tonight against Alisha.

Here is Johnny Swinger, with Zicky Dice saying he has found one opponent with a record worse than theirs.

Johnny Swinger vs. Barry Horowitz

Swinger goes after the leg to start but misses a charge. Horowitz hammers away and rakes the chest, meaning it’s time for a good old pat on the back. Cue the Demon of all people as Horowitz grabs an abdominal stretch into a rollup for the pin at 2:08. This story is hilarious.

Moose, with a baseball bat, promises revenge on Joe Hendry.

Post break Moose goes after Hendry’s car but finds out that it’s Santino Marella’s. As a result, Marella gives Moose…..a Digital Media Title shot in a Dot Combat match at No Surrender. This would be the latest “sure why not” booking around here.

No Surrender #1 Contenders Qualifying Match: Heath vs. Eddie Edwards

Edwards hits a shoulder to start but Heath sends him into the corner for a splash. With Edwards bailing to the floor, Heath hits the flip dive off the apron. Back in and Edwards hits his own dive, meaning it’s time to choke back inside. The reverse chinlock doesn’t last long as Heath is back up with a powerslam for two. A spinebuster gets the same but Edwards catches him up top. The superplex into the tiger driver gets two so Edwards loads up the Diehard Driver. Cue the thunder though and the distraction lets Heath hit the Wake Up Call for the pin at 7:32.

Rating: C. More serious Heath continues to be fine and it’s cool to put him in a #1 contenders match. He even has a reason to go after Maclin for using the Wake Up Call earlier this week. On the other hand you have Edwards and…well yeah PCO is going to actually kill him at some point so enjoy him while you can.

Post match PCO chases Eddie Edwards off.

Deaner says he and Sami Callihan are facing Yuya Uemura and Frankie Kazarian next week. It’s Sami’s fifth step out of seven.

James Mitchell and the Hex are ready to destroy the Death Dollz and win the Knockouts Tag Team Titles.

Masha Slamovich vs. Alisha

Mickie James is on commentary. Slamovich starts fast and runs Alisha over with the Snow Plow finishing at 1:34. Exactly what it should have been.

Post match Slamovich stays on Alisha so Mickie goes in, only to get choked out.

Crazzy Steve says Trey Miguel’s TM logo now means That Moment when Steve took over his mind. Steve wants a shot at the X-Division Title in Monster’s Ball.

Santino Marella makes Mike Bailey vs. Jonathan Gresham at No Surrender. Dirty Dango says that next week, the two of them can team up to face the Motor City Machine Guns. With the two of them gone, Barry Horowitz comes in and says he wants the same deal as Johnny Swinger: win fifty matches and get a World Title shot. That works for Santino, who gives Horowitz Rhino next week. Actually, Horowitz will just leave 1-0 instead.

Here’s what’s coming on various shows.

Kenny King vs. Rich Swann

King punches him down to start but Swann manages a kick to the apron. That means the running flip dive to take King down again as things settle a bit. Swann’s splash is cut off though and King drops him face first onto the turnbuckle. King grabs a backbreaker for two but Swann manages a DDT to send us to a break.

Back with Swann hitting a rolling clothesline into a running kick to the head for two. King hits a spinebuster for two of his own, followed by a powerslam for the same. The poisonrana gets Swann out of trouble and they’re both down for a bit. Swann’s big kick to the head is countered into a half crab to make Swann scream a bit. With that broken up, they trade kicks to the head for two until Swann misses a 450. King grabs a tiger driver for two but the Royal Flush is countered into a small package to give Swann the pin at 14:30.

Rating: C+. Another completely acceptable and at times good match between two talented wrestlers. The ending wasn’t in real doubt as the #1 contender isn’t going to lose, but King can wrestle a fine match with just about anyone. Swann continues to build momentum to being the challenger of the month, but doing something notable with Josh Alexander sounds like a better idea.

Post match King stays on Swann and grabs a chair but Josh Alexander runs in for the save. Swann grabs the chair and swings at King but hits Alexander by mistake to end the show. That’s something for them at least as that match has felt almost forgotten so far.

Overall Rating: B-. This show did a nice job of building up No Surrender, as we FINALLY got something with the World Title match. Other than that, the rest of the show got a boost as well, including Bully Ray vs. Tommy Dreamer. That thing is getting dragged all the way to Rebellion so it could take some time to really do much. I liked this show, with the Horowitz stuff being a great surprise. Impact continues to roll with another good one and I’m having more fun with the show almost week after week.

Results
Kushida b. Chris Bey – Small package
Steve Maclin b. Rhino – Wake Up Call
Barry Horowitz b. Johnny Swinger – Abdominal stretch rollup
Heath b. Eddie Edwards – Wake Up Call
Masha Slamovich b. Alisha – Snow Plow
Rich Swann b. Kenny King – Small package

 

 

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Hard To Kill 2023: The Hard Part

Hard To Kill 2023
Date: January 13, 2023
Location: Center Stage, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Tom Hannifan, Matthew Rehwoldt

It’s back to pay per view and Impact is actually on a heck of a roll right now. They are getting almost everything right at the moment and I’m wanting to see the show a lot more than I would have expected. We have a double main event as Bully Ray is challenging Josh Alexander in a Full Metal Mayhem match, plus Mickie James’ Last Rodeo continues as she challenges Jordynne Grace for the Knockouts Title. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Kushida vs. Angels vs. Delirious vs. Mike Bailey vs. Mike Jackson vs. Yuya Uemura

This is a bit weird as the pre-show broadcast begins with most of the wrestlers in the ring, including the previously unadvertised Delirious (seemingly replacing Bhupinder Gujjar). Delirious misses (maybe) a charge at the returning Kushida to start and winds up on the floor. Uemura and Kushida are left in the ring to trade arm holds until Kushida hiptosses him into the basement dropkick.

Delirious comes back in to neckbreaker Kushida but it’s Jackson (73 years old) coming in to armdrag Delirious to the floor. Bailey moonsaults onto a pile on the floor, setting up Jackson’s suicide dive (Tom: “FOR THE LOVE OF AARP!”), because of course he does. Back in and Angels takes over but Jackson takes him down by the arm. We hear about Jackson debuting at this venue in 1989 at FORTY years old (Tom: “I was six months old.”) before he goes Old School around all four ropes and then dives on everyone else fighting in the ring. Angels is back up with a suplex to Jackson but Delirious pulls Angels down into a Boston crab.

With that broken up, Bailey comes in with the bouncing kicks to Delirious but Uemura dropkicks him down. The running spinning kick in the corner blasts Uemura, only to have Kenny King run in to break up the Ultimate Weapon. With a bunch of people in the corner, Kushida hits his running front flip kicks, setting up the cross armbreaker to make Angels tap at 7:28.

Rating: C+. As usual, it’s hard to stand out in any way in this kind of a match and, other than Jackson (because geez), no one exactly did. The good thing is that Kushida is back and can be a huge boost to the X-Division, if not its outright champion. I would have expected Bailey to win here so points for throwing in a fine curve.

Pre-Show: X-Division Title: Black Taurus vs. Trey Miguel

Taurus is challenging and Crazzy Steve handles his introduction (for a match originally on the main card). The chase is on outside to start, allowing Miguel to hit some running dropkicks back inside. Back up and Taurus misses a running knee in the corner, allowing Miguel to hit a dive to the floor. Taurus strikes away back inside but it’s too early for Destination Hellhole.

A pop up Samoan drop doesn’t work either as Miguel reverses into a crucifix bomb (sweet) for two of his own. Miguel goes to the ramp for a running charge, only to dive into a Samoan drop. Taurus shrugs off some strikes and hits a heck of a Pounce. The over the shoulder backbreaker gives Taurus two but Miguel backdrops a charge out to the floor. A Code Red on the floor rocks Taurus again and the top rope Meteora gives Miguel two more.

Miguel takes him back inside and tries a springboard hurricanrana, which is countered into a super gorilla press (awesome) but Destination Hellhole is countered into the Lightning Spiral. Miguel’s feet on the ropes are seen though, meaning it’s time for the spray paint. The referee takes that away (art hater) so Miguel whips out another can and blinds Taurus, setting up another Lightning Spiral to retain at 10:15.

Rating: C+. They had some pretty cool spots in there as Taurus can do all kinds of things, including mixing in some power. At the same time you have Miguel really finding his niche as a heel and the spray paint works well for him. Then again with Kushida around, that title could be in some serious jeopardy rather soon.

The roster is on the stage for a tribute to Don West. The show is dedicated to him and we get a ten bell salute (with what sounds like Josh Matthews directing the person ringing the bell).

The opening video talks about how eventually you hit rock bottom, but that doesn’t mean it is the end of you. People can fight back up and overcome everything, because you are hard to kill.

Impact Wrestling World Title: Bully Ray vs. Josh Alexander

Alexander is defending in Full Metal Mayhem, meaning TLC with pins/submissions. Ray hides during the entrances and jumps Alexander from behind to start things fast. A belt shot to the face has Alexander in more trouble and Ray sends a table inside before the opening bell. Ray tosses him inside and demands the bell ring but the bloody Alexander has to say yes first. Sure he’s in, so the bell rings and Ray powerbombs him through a table for two to start fast.

We go old school (of course) as Ray whips out a cheese grater so Alexander gets smart by punching Ray in the face. The grater to the face sends Ray (bleeding as well) outside. Some trashcan lid shots tot he head have Ray in more trouble and there’s the grater to the head to draw the real blood. The thumbtacks are brought in but Alexander chairs him in the back first.

Alexander puts Ray on a table on the ramp and loads up a ladder, only to have Ray tip it over and send him into the ring, onto the tacks. The Bully Bomb is broken up and Alexander hits a German suplex to rock Ray again. A Regal Roll onto the tacks set up a middle rope knee (with chain wrapped around) to the head. The ankle lock goes on but Jason Hotch and John Skyler run in for the save. A 3D onto the tacks gets two on Alexander so the goons zip tie him to the top rope.

Cue Tommy Dreamer for the save with a trashcan shot to Ray. That earns Dreamer a spear through the table in the corner, leaving Alexander to get trash canned in the head. Cue Alexander’s wife Jade (not supposed to be here) to beg him for mercy (Ray: “I WANT TO SEE TEARS!”). Ray demands her wedding ring but gets low blowed instead. Sliced Bread onto the tacks (Jade is a former wrestler so it’s not insane) knocks Ray silly and Alexander is loose. Ray is put on another table and a splash from the ladder drives him through it for two. The ankle lock makes Ray tap at 17:02.

Rating: B-. This is a tricky one as the match wasn’t all that great, mainly due to a bunch of stalling and interference taking away from the action. That being said, I’ll absolutely take this over what would have been a pretty lame regular match between these two. Ray losing should get rid of him, at least at this level, for a good stretch. Alexander gets to retain again, but he needs a better challenger next time. What Ray did in the feud and here as well was far from awful, but it was really hard to get around the fact that it was Bully Ray in this spot at this time.

Victoria/Tara gives Mickie James a pep talk before her Knockouts Title match (now the main event) against Jordynne Grace. Raven pops in to say he wanted to be here in case it’s the end for James (since he was here at the beginning for her).

We recap the Tag Team Title match. All of the teams save for Bullet Club keep attacking each other and trading wins so now the titles are on the line.

Tag Team Titles: Motor City Machine Guns vs. Bullet Club vs. Major Players vs. Heath/Rhino

The Guns are defending under elimination rules and it’s Ace Austin/Chris Bey for the Club. It’s a brawl to start (duh) before the bell as the referee can’t get this down to one wrestler from two teams to make things official. We finally get Rhino beating on Myers to ring the bell with Heath coming in to hammer away almost immediately. Myers gets out of trouble and brings in Cardona for a neckbreaker on Heath.

It’s right back to Myers for two off a knee drop and the lifting Downward Spiral gets two. Heath is back up with the super powerslam, which is enough for the tag back to Rhino to clean house. A quick distraction lets Cardona send Rhino into the corner, setting up the rollup pin to get rid of Heath/Rhino at 3:39.

Bey comes in to roll Cardona up as the pace picks way up. Myers comes in to snap a suplex for two on Bey but it’s back to Cardona for more neckbreakers. An enziguri gets Bey out of trouble though and it’s Austin coming in to kick away. Austin’s springboard missile dropkick sends Myers sprawling and Shelley tags himself in to start on Austin’s leg. A dragon screw legwhip gets two on Austin and we hit the Figure Four.

With that broken up, Austin manages an enziguri and kicks Sabin away, allowing Bey to come in and beat up the Major Players. An assisted Art of Finesse sets up the Fold to pin Myers at 10:23, leaving us with the Guns vs. the Bullet Club. Sabin takes out the Club on his own and it’s Shelley coming back in to double team Austin. Back up and the assisted Art of Finesse hits Sabin but Myers is still here for a distraction. Sabin suicide dives onto Bey and it’s the Dirt Bomb to retain the titles at 13:10.

Rating: B. This was about cramming as many people in there as you could get away with but the elimination rules held a lot. Getting rid of some of those people makes all of the difference in the world and the Guns feel like they won instead of surviving. I’m a bit surprised that they won, but more Guns is not a bad thing.

As the Guns go to leave, Frankie Kazarian comes out for a surprise chat. Kazarian talks about everything he has been doing lately and announces that he has signed a long term deal with Impact Wrestling, meaning he is done with AEW. If he isn’t doing anything in AEW, making the move makes sense for him.

We recap Joe Hendry defending the Digital Media Title against Moose. Hendry has been getting on Moose’s nerves so he’s coming after the title.

Digital Media Title: Joe Hendry vs. Moose

Hendry is defending and they start fast with Hendry elbowing him in the face and grabbing a spinning slam. Moose tosses him over the top and takes it to the floor for a posting. That doesn’t do much to Hendry, who loads up a suplex, walks halfway around the ring, and then drops Moose.

Back in and Moose kicks him down before stomping on various things. A slap to the face wakes Hendry up though and he fireman’s carry tosses Moose out to the floor. Moose is right back with a chokebomb out of the corner for two, followed by a top rope superplex for the same. They get back up and strike it out until Hendry hits a clothesline. The Standing Ovation doesn’t work as Moose hits a release Rock Bottom for two instead.

That’s enough for Moose, who goes to grab the title. With that taken away, it’s a low blow to set up the spear to give Moose the pin and the title. Hold on though as here is Santino Marella (by that name) to announce that he is the new Director Of Authority. Marella, with the thick accent and weird way of speaking, says he doesn’t like cheaters so we’re restarting this thing. Hendry grabs the Standing Ovation to retain at 14:05.

Rating: C+. Well so much for a lot of my enjoyment around this place. Santino has never been someone I particularly care to see and now we’ll have to see his WACKY (and repetitive) comedy every week because he was a thing about twelve years ago. As for the match, good on letting Hendry have a big win, as he is getting somewhere with this run and needed a bigger win to make it work. I’m curious to see how far this version can go, because he seems to have all of the tools.

We look back at Kenny King costing Mike Bailey the pre-show match.

King isn’t sure why Bailey is wrestling when they’re going into the Fight Pit next week. That’s the Bailey King wants and he better bring it.

Masha Slamovich vs. Killer Kelly vs. Taylor Wilde vs. Deonna Purrazzo

For a future Women’s Title match. Slamovich goes after Wilde to start and they fight to the floor, leaving Kelly to forearms Purrazzo. That doesn’t last long and it’s Purrazzo hitting a dive, followed by Slamovich hitting one of her own. Back in and Wilde chokes Kelly in the ropes until Purrazzo comes back in for the save.

Purrazzo and Wilde both grab a half crab on Kelly at the same time but both of them are broken up. After a series of knockdowns, Kelly grabs the Killer Klutch on Purrazzo. Wilde Crossfaces Slamovich at the same time but Slamovich fights up and Snowplows Wilde onto the other two for the pin and the title shot at 9:21.

Rating: C. This was a bit of a mess but it was also weirdly put together. You have Kelly, who was pushed hard for a few weeks and then more or less dropped. You have Wilde, who got a new gimmick about two weeks ago and already lost. You have Purrazzo, who could be slotted into any title match needed but has already had her time with the title. Then you have Slamovich, who lost both of her big matches, as well as a match to Wilde last week. That’s not exactly building her up, but at least she is getting another title shot.

We recap Rich Swann vs. Steve Maclin. While Maclin is all about violence and destruction, Swann is standing up to him and is ready to fight. Now it’s falls count anywhere so they can get more violent.

Rich Swann vs. Steve Maclin

Falls count anywhere and Raven is on commentary. Maclin jumps Swann in the back during an interview and the fight is on fast. A missed charge sends Maclin into a dumpster (Raven: “Yeah that was kind of dumb.”) but he’s right back with a bucket shot for two. They fight outside near the traffic, with Raven wanting to see one of them hit by a car.

Swann is fine enough to hit a cartwheel cutter but they stop to fight against a moving car, which is leaving the arena for some reason. Some shovel shots stagger Maclin and they come into the arena, where Maclin plants him onto the apron for two. They get inside for the first time with Swann hitting a running dropkick into the corner. It’s right back to the floor where Swann hits another cutter for two more.

Back in and Swann kicks away, only to get launched onto the ramp. Swann kicks him off the ramp and hits the splash for two. Maclin staggers up and counters a running hurricanrana off the apron into a Liger Bomb. A missed elbow lets Swann hit a superkick but Maclin hits him with a piece of barricade. The KIA on the ramp finishes Swann at 11:42.

Rating: C. I wasn’t wild on the match itself as it was such a brawl that the wrestling was barely a factor. The good things here were of course Raven on commentary as he has that riffing style that can be hilarious, plus the continued rise of Maclin. There is almost no way anyone else is the next challenger for the World Title and it wouldn’t surprise me to see him win the thing. Not a bad brawl, but what matters is Maclin racking up another win over another former World Champion.

We recap Jonathan Gresham vs. Eddie Edwards. Last year saw Edwards as part of Honor No More and Gresham is all about honor. Now Gresham is back for revenge so let’s have a fight.

Eddie Edwards vs. Jonathan Gresham

Feeling out process to start with Edwards bailing to the floor after getting out technicaled. Edwards brings Gresham outside with him, misses a clothesline, and gets frustrated at Gresham being back inside. Back in and Gresham sends him outside for a change, immediately followed by a fast dive. They get back inside again with Edwards snapping off an overhead belly to belly to take over.

Gresham grabs some armdrags and kicks at the arm before cranking away. Edwards manages a powerslam to escape and a hanging cutter gets two. A neckbreaker gets the same but Gresham is back up and cranks on the arm again. They strike it out until Gresham hits an enziguri into a standing moonsault for two of his own. A Blue Thunder Bomb gets Edwards out of trouble but his arm is all banged up.

The Backpack Stunner is broken up and Gresham sends him outside for the suicide dive. Back in and Edwards loads up a superplex, which is reversed into a choke with Edwards still on the ropes. Edwards is smart enough to drop straight down onto the buckle for the escape and a sitout powerbomb gets two. They go into a pinfall reversal sequence for two each until a tiger driver gives Edwards two more. The Boston Knee Party finishes Gresham at 18:49.

Rating: B. This was a heck of a match as Gresham is a technical master but Edwards is good enough to hold his own against him. That left the idea of Gresham still fighting for honor and Edwards trying to prove he still had it. As a result, you had two guys trying to pick up the win wherever they could until Edwards finally knocked Gresham silly for the win. Good stuff here, which you had to expect from this combination.

Post match the lights go out and (as the chants give away the reveal), it’s the returning PCO, spitting sand out of his mouth. Edwards gets chokeslammed and the monster is back.

We recap Mickie James vs. Jordynne Grace for the Knockouts Title. James wants to prove that she still has it by winning the Knockouts Title one more time. Otherwise, she is retiring, giving us the huge stakes.

Knockouts Title: Jordynne Grace vs. Mickie James

James is challenging and some Native American dancers play her to the ring. As a bonus, her family (minus Nick Aldis) is in the front row. After the Big Match Intros, Grace powers her into the corner to start and James can’t even grab a rollup. James slaps her a few times before getting dropped with a heck of a slap from Grace.

Back up and Grace double stomps her out of the corner, meaning it’s time to start the real beating. Grace stomps away and tells James to stay down, only to pull her up in the corner. We’ll call that a mixed message as Grace misses a running knee in the corner and a super bulldog gives James a breather. They slug it out until James kicks her in the face before taking it out to the ramp.

The Thesz press drops Grace again but she blocks the MickDT. James settles for a guillotine but Grace muscles her to the top for a superplex floated into a Jackhammer for two more. James comes back with a flapjack into a nipup and now the Thesz press connects for another near fall. A spinebuster cuts James off and a sitout powerbomb gets two. Grace hits her in the neck of all things but a Tombstone is countered with a headscissors.

The Mick Kick is shrugged off so they hit a pinfall reversal sequence for two each. The Grace Driver is countered into a small package for two and another Mick Kick staggers Grace this time. The MickDT gives us the real near fall but Grace pulls her into a sleeper with a bodyscissors. Mickie powers up again though and Grace misses a charge into the post. That’s enough for Mickie to grab a tornado DDT for the pin and the title at 19:22.

Rating: B. This had the drama it needed but never quite got to the level of epic. What mattered here was having Mickie prove she can still do it against a top star. A lot of that comes from having Grace built up as a monster over the last several months, meaning James’ opponent meant something here in addition to the title. I’m glad this headlined the show as it was the better story all the way up to the show and they certainly delivered with what they were trying to do.

James’ family and Tara get in the ring to celebrate with her to end the show.

No word on why the Death Dollz vs. Gisele Shaw/Tasha Steelz/Savannah Evans didn’t take place.

Overall Rating: B. The show was rather good for the most part with nothing bad, but there were some weak parts in the middle that dragged it down a bit. What mattered was the big matches delivered and I was into seeing Mickie get the title back to end the Last Rodeo. The important thing about Impact is that they aren’t doing anything horrible or even bad, and that is a huge step forward over their more infamous years. Overall, good show and they did what they needed to do to start the new year.

Results
Kushida b. Angels, Delirious, Mike Jackson, Yuya Uemura and Mike Bailey – Cross armbreaker to Angels
Trey Miguel b. Black Taurus – Lightning Spiral
Josh Alexander b. Bully Ray – Ankle lock
Motor City Machine Guns b. Bullet Club, Heath/Rhino and Major Players – Dirt Bomb to Bey
Joe Hendry b. Moose – Standing Ovation
Masha Slamovich b. Taylor Wilde, Deonna Purrazzo and Killer Kelly – Snowplow to Wilde
Steve Maclin b. Rich Swann – KIA
Eddie Edwards b. Jonathan Gresham – Boston Knee Party
Mickie James b. Jordynne Grace – Tornado DDT

 

 

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