Survivor Series 1993
Date: November 24, 1993
Location: Boston Gardens, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 15,509
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Bobby Heenan

So it’s a year later now and there are indeed a few changes. For one thing, Hogan is completely gone. He would appear in WCW in a few months time. Other than that, the evil Yokozuna is now world champion with Lex Luger being his main adversary. That’s your main event here tonight, as it’s the Foreign Fanatics vs. the All Americans. It’s a five match card that I remember very fondly for some reason.

There are some very good moments here along with some rather stupid ones. It’s an odd time for the company as they’re definitely in a transitional period here, with Yoko and Luger being the two main guys and Bret not far behind them. None of those three are incredibly huge stars at the moment, so this is a weird time for them. We’re back to the traditional Survivor Series formula though, so this should be a bit better than what we had in the very early 90s I guess. Let’s find out.

Before we get the standard intro, we see Vince and Bobby getting ready backstage. Vince says he smells bananas, which scares Bobby because it means Monsoon is around. He and Ross are doing Radio WWF tonight, which is either brilliant or very stupid and I’m not sure which. This would be Bobby’s last PPV before heading to WCW as well. The intro was an odd one with the skeleton of a building and the logo hanging from a crane. I have no idea what this was supposed to be.

Team IRS vs. Team Razor

Razor Ramon, Marty Jannetty, 1-2-3 Kid, Mr. Perfect
IRS, Adam Bomb, Diesel, Rick Martel

So the fourth man was supposed to be Mr. Perfect, but for some reason he’s gone. There are numerous reasons as to why he’s gone, but we’re not sure either way. Some say he was in rehab, some say he left due to steroid issues, some say he was hurt. We’re not sure either way, but he wouldn’t be seen again until Wrestlemania where he was supposed to start a feud with Luger, but he was gone after one appearance.

Anyway, Ramon says he has a substitute that has as much machismo as he does. Heenan says it’s some other punk, but as the music hits Heenan freaks out since it’s Randy Savage. The deal with Savage was that his friend Crush had gotten hurt by Yoko so he turned heel on Savage and beat the living heck out of him. Savage was TICKED and would do anything to get at Crush.

They would eventually have a last man standing match (kind of) at Mania. Crush was supposed to get a massive singles push but for some reason it never came. In the end that was a good thing because he was arrested and went to jail for a few years on weapons charges. Apparently Heenan called this sometime before and Vince says ok, ok you were right for once. FOR ONCE? Dag Heenan was great.

Oh yeah why are these people in this match. Shawn Michaels had been IC Champion but was suspended for failing a steroids test (which he to this day denies). To fill the void we had a battle royal with the last two people in it having a match and the winner of that won the IC belt.

Razor and Martel were your winners and then Razor won the title. Shawn kept his belt though so there were two belts. They were hung above the ring at Wrestlemania 10. You know the rest. As for the other guys, there’s no point to them being there. IRS and Razor had a mini feud that was blown off at the Rumble but that’s it.

Anyway, we start with Razor and Martel and Razor beats the tar out of him. Are you surprised? He tags out to Adam Bomb who I was always a mark for. He and Crush would later become Kronik in WCW. They do a test of strength and since he’s a heel, Bomb cheats. Oddly the bad guy is the face here. Anyway, Razor goes for a cover on Bomb but Martel runs in for a save with an elbow.

It hits Bomb and Harvey is kind of annoyed, so Martel hits him. Now we’ve got a big team brawl and for once, the faces let them fight. I’ve never gotten why they didn’t do that more often. When another team is fighting, why not let them do it and get a breather? Savage, being the only true big star on his team at that point, gets on the ropes and plays to the crowd here. And that is why Savage is better than anyone else in this match and better than most in history.

Old guys know how to get things done like that. See, today, most people have a chance like this and they just stand there. Savage, already getting hugs pops no matter what he does, plays to the crowd to try to get a bigger one. That sticks in people’s heads.

Instead of just sitting around doing nothing, he’s talking to the crowd, and there is nothing a crowd loves more than being acknowledged and being considered a small part of the match. It makes them feel special and the more a wrestler does that for them, the bigger star they’ll become.

Anyway, even Heenan acknowledges that this team might not work. Oh great it’s the 1-2-3 Kid against Adam Bomb. He might kill him. GO BOMB! Now Diesel gets to beat on him a bit. I’ve always liked Diesel. Savage gets tagged in to a huge pop. Heenan dubs him Captain Schizo. That’s just humorous. He beats up the heel team by himself, capping it off by slamming Diesel and hitting the elbow to pin him for the first elimination.

Vince says that this match has been confusing. Why is that? It’s been very simple to me at least. In a weird sequence, Savage uses a bunch of left handed clotheslines. That just looked odd. Heenan asks if Vince has ever cheated anybody. Vince says of course not. That needs no jokes whatsoever. At this point, Marty still hasn’t been in yet. Must be a bad coke attack or something. IRS and Martel switch while the referee is with Savage. Of course it is allowed.

Heenan asks if Vince wants to be WWF President. Why take the second best job? This has been pretty solid so far. As Savage is beating the tar out of IRS, Crush comes out. Savage hits the floor immediately and goes after him. While he’s distracted, IRS rolls up Savage to pin him. Crush leaves and Savage chases him off. He goes into the back and we stay with Savage for THIRTY SECONDS.

Dude, you know there is that pesky little match going on out in the ring? You might want to take a look at it. I guess not. I know it doesn’t sound long, but missing thirty seconds of a match is a long time. Think about it like this: Hogan picked up Andre and pinned him inside of 30 seconds. Yeah that’s not important though. We’re back now with Bomb against Jannetty. A Razor’s Edge takes out IRS. For those of you keeping score, it’s Jannetty, Kid and Razor against Martel and Bomb.

We get a big brawl as Razor goes for another Edge, but IRS hits Razor in the ribs with the briefcase. He gets counted out as a result. We now get Kid against Martel, and naturally Kid gets a lot better against a smaller guy. Apparently you beat him by putting out some cookies and milk. He’ll run out and you beat him. Heenan is so brilliant it’s unbelievable. Now it’s standard heel dominance with the faces looking for the hot tag.

That’s very basic but very good at the same time. Jannetty comes in finally and beats up Martel for awhile and then tags in Kid, which makes limited sense but I’m no drug addled professional. Kid pins Martel with a sunset flip and then Marty gets Bomb with one as well about 12 seconds later to win it. That was a fun finish.

Rating: B. This was a fun match. It’s not great, but it’s entertaining and it made sense. The faces won with quickness over the power team and Savage dominated. Also Razor, the singles champion in there, saved face and set up a bigger feud with IRS. That is what these things are supposed to do. Overall, this was fun and it worked quite well, making it a very good opener and a good sign for this show.

Todd is with Shawn, who says he’s the real IC Champion and then he insults Bret and his family. This is miles better than last year as he’s finally got the Heart Break Kid character down. We go to an interview with the Harts from earlier in the day. Ray Combs, a game show host, is the special celebrity here doing the interview.

He’s far less annoying than the majority of these people. For some reason Stu is wearing a Detroit Pistons jacket for no apparent reason here as the show is in Boston. That’s just odd. Shawn says he’ll take out Stu if he gets in the way. Remember that line.

Before we go to the ring, we have a short interview with the winners of the previous match, minus Macho.

Hart Family vs. Shawn/Knights

Bret, Keith, Bruce, Owen
Shawn Michaels, Blue Knight (Greg Valentine), Red Knight (Barry Horowitz), Black Knight (Jeff Gaylord/Glenn Jacobs)

We’re actually not sure who the Black Knight is. If it’s Jacobs, that’s Kane. If it’s not, then this is his career highlight. This was supposed to be Jerry Lawler, but he was up on rape charges (the girl admitted she made the whole thing up), so they threw Shawn in and tried to make it based on the match from last year, which is at least an attempt at a story. Combs does the introductions here, and is ok I guess.

He does some standard jokes about HBK, but this goes on WAY too long and the fans just aren’t interested. It’s not as bad as Kid Rock at Mania, but it’s pretty bad. It goes on about 5 minutes, which is FAR too long for this. We’re at 10 minutes for the intros alone. This is just stupid. Bret is wearing pink. Only he can pull that off. Combs does commentary for the match as well. Heenan is in top form here insulting the Harts.

Monsoon reminds me of my uncle for some reason. We start out with Bruce, so you can tell what this is going to be. He’s a history teacher. Oh dear. Keith, the fireman, comes in. This cracks Heenan up. We see the problem here very easily: the two unknown Hart aren’t very good. All they know how to do is an armbar here and there. It’s just rather boring. Seriously, were Neidhart and Bulldog not available? They would be about a million times better here.

Heenan keeps talking about how Owen is in the shadow of Bret. That would turn into one of the best heel turns I can ever remember. Black Knight in now and Owen kicks his teeth in too. Now we have Bret against the Blue Guy. Heenan keeps teasing that he knows who the Knights are. When asked about the Blue Knight, he says that he’s either the Blue Knight or Bob Barker. This is being written two days after Barker hosted Raw, so that cracked me.

Why are the two unknown brothers wrestling most of this match? Seriously, that’s just stupid. The commentary is by far and away the best part of this match. Combs is pretty good actually. Granted he has no clue what’s going on, but his timing and enthusiasm are there. That’s all I ask: at least pretend you want to be there. Check out Pamela Anderson at the 95 Rumble. She hates the whole thing and is there for a paycheck. I have no interest in celebrities like that, no matter what they look like.

We get a big brawl and the Black Knight is pinned by a top rope dropkick from Owen. Ray thinks it’s over, and I have no issue with that because he’s energetic. He genuinely seems like he wants to be there, and I’m fine with him being a bit off if that’s the case. I’ve never gotten the point of them mentioning that a show is live when we’re watching it. It’s like a commercial for the show you’re watching. You’ve already hooked us, so we don’t need it again.

Vince: Bobby Heenan, you’re a bad man. That sums it up perfectly I’d say. Heenan reminds Vince that this is Survivor Series and Vince says he knows what it is. I wonder if he wanted to say “I know what it is, I invented it you fat blowhard!” Ok, now Keith has been in there forever, and we’re back to the stupid part. He’s been in there like 5 minutes and it’s been all arm work. Why not instead use one of the best sellers of all time?

Oh yeah because it would make SENSE! Heenan makes another great point: the Harts don’t look alike. He’s very right actually. Make that seven minutes. FINALLY a missed Rocket Launcher and Bret gets in to breathe some life into this thing. Red Knight is tapping in about 10 seconds and it’s 4-2. Bret is knocked to the floor and Keith goes over to check him. That makes sense since he’s been beaten on for about 8 minutes and is more or less one armed at this point.

I guess Owen and Bruce were busy? On the floor Stu is trying to rub his arm back into socket, which for once makes sense from a manager. Heenan gets in my favorite line of the match: “Hey, you wanna know who the Blue Knight is?” Vince says he would like to. “He’s the guy in the ring that just dropped an elbow on Bret Hart.” Vince walked right into that one.

FINALLY we have Bret vs. Shawn, 18 minutes into the freaking match. Yep this just makes so much sense. That’s the theme of this match: how much sense can we make? Heenan makes an America’s Most Wanted reference. Combs says Bobby could star on America’s Most Unwanted. We have a rival for Heenan. Shawn does indeed go after Stu, and he gets POPPED. I don’t mean some love tap, I mean Stu smacks the taste out of Shawn and the crowd is into this all of a sudden.

That was awesome and makes up for the rest of this match. Shawn sells it at an amazing level of course since that’s what he does. That was great. Even Heenan kisses up to Stu for a bit. That’s all the proof you need right there. Owen Sharpshooter ends the Knights and it’s 4-1. Immediately, Shawn hits a big kick on Bruce, which is now known as Sweet Chin Music. However, here it doesn’t work.

Wow, Bruce has a tougher chin than Bret. Maybe we had the wrong Hart all along. Bret comes in and beats on him but gets poked in the eye. He tags Owen but walks on the apron for no apparent reason. Shawn sends Owen into the ropes and therefore into Bret who knocks down the railing. Owen is concerned and rolls Shawn up to make it 3-1. The Harts beat on Shawn for awhile after Owen is FREAKING out on him.

They beat Shawn up really badly as Stu tries to calm him down. I have never gotten what Owen’s problem was here. He got pinned. His team still won, and it was his fault that he hit Bret. He didn’t have to look down at him. Anyway, Shawn bails and the celebration is on. Owen comes back and yells at the Harts who leave without them.

This was the beginning of the Owen heel turn, which was excellent on so many levels, with the biggest one ever being Owen pinning Bret clean in the best opening match of all time at Wrestlemania 10. The feud would continue at the Rumble, with Bret trying to get Owen his first championship by teaming up with him to fight for the tag titles.

Bret wrestled with a knee injury and they actually stopped the match for it. Owen was ticked and beat Bret up for it, which was the first time I agreed with a heel. It was Bret’s fault, not Owen’s. Oh yeah this match is over by the way. I’m just rambling on.

Rating: D+. This was just flat out BORING. It’s about 75% armbar. It’s a Chris Jericho joke apparently. Keith and Bruce were just flat out boring out there with no real offense at all, which is fine in that they hadn’t wrestled in years. That brings the question: WHY HAVE THEM? Seriously, all of the Harts are wrestlers. Were they all retired? Honestly, Neidhart at least would have made sense here. He’s a half brother and more importantly: HE WAS PASSABLE IN THE RING.

There’s history with him and Bret, and while he would play a role later in the angle, that wasn’t for almost a year. Seriously, they could have fit him in with him siding with Owen over this part of the feud. I don’t get it at all. Anyway, the match was just boring and it didn’t work that well. Shawn vs. Bret was good, but that’s all there was worth watching.

Gorilla and Ross are on commentary now.

We now get a random recap of the main event, despite there being two matches before that. Tatanka, who was undefeated for about two years got beaten up by Borga and Yoko to knock him out. He got replaced by a certain someone that I’ll get to at the time of the match.

To retaliate, Luger eliminated Pierre, which is somehow dumber than Luger is, so there we are. Pierre got replaced by Crush, which makes even less sense since he’s an American and was injured by the heels in the first place, but then again I’m no professional.

Smokey Mountain Tag Titles: Rock N Roll Express vs. Heavenly Bodies

Now this is a real headscratcher for about 10 reasons. Where to begin? Let’s see. For one thing, the Smokey Mountains are nowhere NEAR Boston. Second, what is Vince getting out of this? Cornette I suppose. Third, why aren’t we seeing the WWF Tag Titles defended here? Fourth, it’s freaking SMW. That just makes no sense. Fifth, why are Ross and Gorilla doing the commentary here?

Anyway, this is a very old school style match with the standard Midnights vs. RNRE formula: faces dominate early, heels take over and beat on Morton FOREVER until the hot tag and the very fast paced stuff from the Express and then the finish. Yeah I know that’s not much to go on, but it’s the generic yet great formula from the RNRE that made them and the Midnights the best act in the world. If you like modern tag wrestling, those four are who you have to thank for it.

It’s a very solid match of course, but it would have been perfect if it was Lane and Condrey or Eaton over there instead. The Bodies were a team that the WWF tried to make cool but they just never could pull it off. SMW was Cornette’s big attempt at running his own company and he did pretty well considering what he was up against. For one thing, wrestling was just bad when he tried to do it, but it ran nearly five years and he did pretty well with what he had.

Heck he’s got matches on Survivor Series. Anyway, this was the big feud in SMW, and while there it was the feud of the promotion, here’s it’s four guys that no one knows wrestling, and that’s the problem. No one knows these people and for the most part, no one cares. Boston has always been a WWF town, so this old school mentality and style is lost on them.

It’s a great match, but they just don’t get it and a big part of that is due to the wrestlers. It’s like Japanese wrestlers in America. If the people don’t get it, they’re not going to care. Anyway, after about 15 minutes, Cornette hits Gibson with the racket to give the Bodies the belts. Yeah that’s about it.

Rating: B. This was good, but like I said, the lack of anything close to recognition really hurt this one. The match is great, but most people that aren’t old school fans won’t like it. That hurt here too as the crowd only popped for big spots, which is fine for the most part, but they just sounded bored. That’s not fine.

The faces say that they’ll win tonight.

Four Doinks vs. Headshrinkers/Bastian Booger/Bam Bam Bigelow

Oh this isn’t going to be pleasant is it? The Four Doinks are Men on a Mission and the Bushwakers instead of you know, Doink and three other guys. Yeah that’s what we’re dealing with here. Doink is injured so we get these four. I have no idea which one is the most talented. Actually I don’t think any of them have talent so we’ll skip that part. Oh boy this is going to suck badly. Oh look it’s a comedy match. The Bushwackers have balloons.

Ooo good boy Samu bite them! Wait, what? He bit a balloon with water in it and it surprised him, leading to him getting rolled up. Ok, reasons why this is stupid. He’s a freaking savage and he’s scared of water? Second, couldn’t he see the water or feel the balloon actually weighing something? Booger comes in and beats on the faces for awhile and….there’s a banana peel in the ring. I’m pausing now to take some deep breaths.

There is no way that could happen is there? They couldn’t actually be planning on doing what I think they’re planning on doing could they? Someone tell me that’s not what they’re planning to do. I need to hear someone say it. Ok thank goodness: Booger just got pinned by a big splash instead.

That’s at least reasonable coming from the big fat tub of goo known as Mable. And Fatu just slipped on the banana and got pinned. That does it. Screw this. I have better things to do with my time than review a circus. Keep laughing Vince. I won’t be able to hear you.

Rating: N/A. I review wrestling. This wasn’t wrestling.

Cornette and the heel team have something to say. Cornette cuts perhaps the best promo I’ve ever heard him cut as he talks about the Foreign Fanatics’ strategy for tonight. He says that they see the face team as one man because they’re a unit. The Steiners are the heart of the team. If you take away a man’s heart, he has no energy or desire to do anything. The Undertaker is the mind of the team.

If you take away a man’s mind, he’s dazed and confused. Luger is the soul of the team. And if you take away a man’s soul, then you’ve defeated him. And that my friends, is why Jim Cornette is one of the best talkers of all time. Oh and Johnny “Raven” Polo is in the background. Dang talk about a character change. He would be Raven in less than a year.

Vince decides to give a clichéd history themed intro to this match. Yeah this is dumb.

Foreign Fanatics vs. All Americans

All Americans: Luger, Steiners, Undertaker
Foreign Fanatics: Yokozuna, Ludvig Borga, Crush, Jacques Quebecer (yes that’s what they call him)

First of all, since I love it so much, here’s the way the All Americans replaced Tatanka.

No real reason for that. I just really like it. Anyway, onto the match itself. After about 8 minutes of introductions (my least favorite part of these shows), we’re ready to go. Borga comes out to Nikolai Volkoff’s music. That might be the other way around. I’m not sure. In case I haven’t explained, the feuds were supposed to be Luger vs. Yoko, Tatanka vs. Borga and Steiners vs. Quebecers, which at least makes sense.

Due to either injuries or Vince being really high one night, this is what we’ve got instead. Heenan sees a sign that says Yokotuna. I’ve been calling him that for years and have never been able to figure out where I got it from. Now I have my answer. I knew there was a point to me watching this all over again. We start with more stalling as no two want to start. Scott and Pierre finally start us off. The heels have Fuji, Polo and Cornette at ringside.

In other words we have WWF, NWA and ECW out there. Well no one can say they didn’t incorporate everyone. Pierre offers a handshake and Scott gives the screw you sign. Yep Scott is a great role model. Yoko is world champion here which is pointed out as he comes in. Rick manages to knock him to the floor which is actually surprising. Ludvig comes in now and Rick manages to beat him up. Naturally since Rick is doing well, he gets eliminated about 20 seconds later.

Upon further review though, I think this was a legit injury. He hits a top rope shoulder block and Borga just kind of flips him over and pins him. You can tell Vince is surprised too. Yeah he’s limping out after nothing was done to his lower body so I’m thinking he pulled something.

In the main event with a guy dominating even the WWF isn’t dumb enough to get rid of him after just five minutes. Yeah that was a legit injury. It was WAY too fast to have been planned that way. Given the stalling now to buy time for Rick to get out of there, yeah I’m convinced this is an injury. Just to reiterate: I think it was a legit injury.

Scott hits a pretty nice double underhook suplex on Crush. We get word that Savage is back in the building. Is that really surprising? He was there earlier, so why would it be odd that he’s back? Yep here he comes. While this is happening, Crush picks up Scott and just drops him over the top rope. That was sick. They get Savage out and say he’s out of the building. I’ll be checking my watch now to see how long it takes him to get back. My bet is three minutes.

Heenan talks about how Fuji has turned Crush into a heel and that he can see some gold in his future. That likely would have happened had it not been for…some unknown reason. Initially he was supposed to have Luger’s role but I guess they thought Crush wasn’t ready or something and this is what you got instead. Dang it was only two minutes. Scott (called the Steiner) sends him to the floor and Crush goes after Savage.

This gets him counted out as the crowd is completely insane for this. This was begging for a big time cage match. Why in the world Savage was turned into a big bunch of nothing instead of the top face is beyond me. He clearly was still able to go as he would be winning world titles nearly seven years after this and he was WAY over, but I guess he was hanging out with Stephanie too much around this time and if you don’t get that reference, look it up.

Now it’s Pierre vs. Scott as Luger or Taker haven’t been in yet. Pierre gets a three by mistake but they say it was a two which anyone that can see or hear could tell you was incorrect. Vince keeps calling them the Quebecer and the Steiner. Luger finally comes in and an elbow from the second rope puts Pierre out. It’s 3-2 now if you’re keeping score. We get word that Savage has been throw out again and just as I’m getting ready to type it, Heenan asks how he keeps getting in. Is he Batman?

He suggests that Savage hangs out in the rafters. No Bobby that wouldn’t be for about 4 more years. Steiner and Borga have a decent battle as there is still no Taker in this match, which I guess makes something close to sense: save your big gun for the end. Steiner wants to try the Frankensteiner. Yeah that was just freaking stupid. He gets hit by a massive leg drop to end him and make it 2-2.

Luger and Yoko start with the rematch from Summerslam. The idea is that Luger isn’t allowed to have a rematch no matter what. Eventually he gets a rematch if he can win the Rumble, which he ties in. That could have been a great story if he ever actually won the title. It became like Jeff Hardy for awhile, but the difference was that Jeff finally won the freaking belt and gave us the awesome moment.

Luger never had that moment and it made the rest look bad by comparison. Heenan is asked where he gets his material and he says open your eyes. That’s just odd. After Yoko misses a splash, Luger makes the big tag to Taker and the fans are FREAKING OUT. A swinging DDT nearly kills Yoko and Borga nails him to try to break the momentum. Taker turns and just smacks him as if to say boy please I’m the dead man.

The big belly to belly gets nothing as Taker sits up to another huge pop. If you want to know one of the biggest reasons for why Taker got over, it’s called Bobby Heenan. He was awesome with putting him over. Yoko hits the Banzai then goes for a second and Taker sits up again. It’s just awesome all around as even Heenan can’t talk. Think about that for a second.

They fight to the floor, which is to say Taker beats on him for a bit longer as we get the inevitable double count out and we have our Royal Rumble main event. So it’s now one on one and I think you know the drill. It’s more or less a six minute match with the usual interference and the forearm ends it.

Yeah there’s nothing more to say about this. Just like last year, it starts to snow and freaking Santa Claus comes out. I have never gotten what they were going for with this and I think this was the last time that they did it which is likely a good thing.

Rating: C-. It was long and rather dull, but it did what it was supposed to do in advancing the stories. Luger beats Borga clean and Taker vs. Yoko is set. Also the fans went home happy and Luger looks big and invincible again so I can’t really complain. It could have been better but it certainly could have been worse so we’ll say it’s just below average.

Overall Rating: C+. There’s some good and some awful on here, so we’ll say it balances out. Some people would love this and some would hate it. I thought it was ok, but the comedy match was just a disgrace and the main event was just ok. The first match and the tag match were solid enough though.

There are definitely moments here where you’ll be bored out of your mind but there are moments where you’ll be entertained, which I think slightly outweigh the bad. That’s good enough for a mild recommendation I guess. It’s nothing special and it’s not horrible I suppose, but don’t expect to be blown away.

 

 

 

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SuperBrawl III
Date: February 21, 1993
Location: Ashville Civic Center, Ashville, North Carolina
Attendance: 6,500
Commentators: Jesse Ventura, Tony Schiavone

This is a one match show and it is all built around Sting vs. Vader. That’s one of those matches that is going to work no matter what, it’s the White Castle of Fear strap match. In other words, we might be in for some special mini movies, which are always, uh, something. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Vader whipping Sting and abusing him with the strap to set up the main event. This is about as low key of an opening as you can get.

Eric Bischoff and Missy Hyatt welcome us to the show and announce that Maxx Payne is replacing Ron Simmons in the US Title match. Hyatt will be handling interviews tonight but won’t say who she’ll be interviewing. Eric brings out Johnny B. Badd (with the snappy sailor’s hat) to run down the card….and that’s it.

Tony Schiavone and Jesse Ventura run down the card because we might not know what we paid to see.

Maxx Payne plays a rock rendition of the Star Spangled Banner.

Hollywood Blonds vs. Marcus Bagwell/Erik Watts

Bagwell is the Rookie of the Year and it always seemed like he held that title forever. Austin and Bagwell lock up to start and the fans are behind Bagwell for one of the few times in his career. Bagwell armdrags him into an armbar before powering Austin down with a pair of top wristlocks. Back up and Steve punches him down, only to get knocked hard to the floor. That doesn’t last long as Austin is thrown inside for a double backdrop, plus a double clothesline to Pillman.

Watts comes in for an armdrag (which doesn’t work that well) on Pillman and a quickly broken armbar. Bagwell comes in for a crossbody and the headlock takeover puts Austin in trouble. It’s back to Watts and the fans boo him out of the building, including as he puts on an abdominal stretch. The announcers debate the merits of cheating (Jesse: “Always take the easy way out. That’s for all you kids out there.”) as Jesse notes the Watts booing.

A bad looking Boston crab has Austin in trouble so Pillman comes in to kick Watts in the face for the break. Pillman gets pulled down into the STF but he’s in the ropes in a hurry. They head outside with Pillman’s dive off the apron missing to send him crashing into the barricade. Austin is back up to beat Watts down on the floor, with the fans being rather pleased. Back in and Pillman breaks up a sunset flip attempt so Watts can be choked on the rope.

The double teaming is on with Austin luring Bagwell in for some double choking. The Rocket Launcher is blocked with raised knees but Austin is back in with a suplex to break up the tag attempt. Austin misses a running crotch attack on the ropes though and it’s a hot tag to Bagwell to clean house. Everything breaks down and Watts is sent outside but makes the mistake of trying to get back in. That leaves Bagwell to Yellowjacket (fisherman’s) suplex Pillman but Austin comes in off the top to break it up and give Pillman the pin at 16:35.

Rating: C+. It’s rare to see a match with two teams having such different levels of talent in one match. Bagwell was getting better but had a pretty firm ceiling. Watts…..no. I get that he was thrown in WAY over his head, but that doesn’t change the fact that he was WAY over his head. He was so tall, lanky and awkward (not his fault mind you as he had no idea what he was doing at this level) that the fans just did not want to see him.

The Blonds getting cheered like that was awesome to see, mainly because they were one of the best tag teams of the 90s and deserve any cheers they get. Better than expected, but almost all because of the Blonds. They just couldn’t get much more out of these two and it was very obvious.

We get a quick clip of the Sting/Vader White Castle of Fear mini movie, featuring Sting flying to the Rocky Mountain.

Bischoff and Badd confirm that Ric Flair will be here tonight.

Flair arrives but Missy Hyatt is escorted away by security while trying to get an interview.

2 Cold Scorpio vs. Chris Benoit

Well ok then. Jesse picks Benoit for his killer instinct, and I’ll go straight to Benoit elbowing Scorpio in the face to get away from that as fast as I can. Benoit stomps away but Scorpio is back up with a spinning high crossbody. A kick to the face puts Benoit on the floor and it’s an armbar back inside to keep Benoit in trouble. Scorpio goes with the hammerlock with his feet and drops backwards to crank on the arm, which does look rather painful. Back up and a Japanese armdrag sends Benoit outside in a huff.

Benoit gets back in for the test of strength with both using some good looking bridges. Scorpio takes him down by the arm again and drops a leg but misses a dropkick. Benoit misses an elbow though and the armbar goes on again. Back up and Benoit ducks a spinning kick to the face and hits that nasty clothesline of his. The backbreaker lets Benoit bend Scorpio’s back over his knee before we hit the chinlock.

Benoit drapes him ribs first over the top and kicks Scorpio outside. A shoulder to the ribs has Benoit staggered but he’s able to avoid the missile dropkick. The chinlock goes on again and it’s off to something rather close to a Liontamer. For some reason Benoit lets go of the hold and grabs another chinlock as we hit the fifteen minute mark about thirteen and a half minutes in. With the holds not working, Benoit takes him up top for a belly to back superplex.

The very delayed cover gets two and a Russian legsweep gets the same. Benoit powerbombs him for two with three minutes left. An enziguri drops Benoit and Scorpio adds a clothesline to send Benoit into the corner. The spinning splash in the corner connects and the twisting splash (which would today be known as Twisted Bliss) gets two. With forty five seconds left, Benoit blocks a victory roll and drops a middle rope leg for two more. Benoit is getting desperate but Scorpio grabs a rollup for the pin at 18:20 (or 19:59 officially).

Rating: B. The good start to the show continues in a much less surprising result. How were these two not going to have a good match? The timing makes sense here as it adds more drama and given that they were only off by about a minute and forty seconds is a minor miracle. I can always go for some Scorpio and while Benoit wasn’t at his greatness yet, you could see all the tools there, waiting to be developed.

Maxx Payne is replacing the injured Ron Simmons in the US Title match. He and his guitar (Norma Jean) have a song ready for champion Dustin Rhodes and of course we hear a little bit….of Taps.

Bill Irwin vs. British Bulldog

Irwin is an evil cowboy and the Bulldog gets a ROAR on his in-ring debut. Smith shoves him down with ease to start and the fans are behind Smith the whole way. Irwin’s shots against the ropes don’t do much good as Smith runs him down with ease. A hard clothesline puts Irwin on the floor and it’s a gorilla press back inside to make it worse. Back in and Irwin kicks away at the ribs as Tony tries to figure out what Jesse means when he talks about Bulldog’s cornrows.

A cover gets one with Smith pressing launching him on the kickout so the chinlock goes on instead. That’s broken up in a hurry and Smith sends him into the corner for a running shoulder. Jesse: “How come they call it an Irish whip? Is it from Ireland?” Tony: “Uh yeah 1863 in a wrestling match there.” Jesse: “….that’s amazing.” I have no idea if Tony made that up on the spot or not but Jesse had NOTHING in response. Anyway Irwin gets up a boot in the corner but dives into the running powerslam for the pin at 5:43.

Rating: D+. Not much of a match here but it was fine enough for an introduction to Smith. A lot of people already knew who he was but you need to let him come in there and beat someone up. That being said, it wasn’t exactly thrilling and Smith looked like he was already getting old and slow. Go while you have the chance I guess, but it wasn’t exactly good.

Vader is waiting for Sting in the White Castle of Fear.

Smith wants the World Title and is ready to eat Vader up.

Badd and Hyatt are ready for the UK tour.

Paul Orndorff is ready for Cactus Jack….who is right here to start their match in a hurry.

Paul Orndorff vs. Cactus Jack

Falls Count Anywhere and Jack chases Orndorff through the entrance with a shovel. Orndorff chokes with an electric cord but Jack slams him onto the concrete. The mats are pulled back for the elbow off the apron and the super sunset flip to the floor for two. They go inside with Orndorff ripping at Jack’s mouth but that’s enough so they fight outside and over the barricade.

Tony FINALLY explains the story here, as these two fought to team with Vader in a cage match but Vader jumped Jack. That made Jack get the shovel and he’s been swinging it since. Back to ringside with Jack being sent into the barricade, followed by a top rope ax handle to the head back inside. Orndorff starts going after Jack’s bad knee, taking the brace off in the process, and then suplexes him over the top and onto the apron (that’s a new one).

The Figure Four goes on and Orndorff grabs the rope. For some reason the referee yells at him but Jack punches Orndorff in the face for the break instead. Makes sense. They head outside again with Orndorff sending him knee first into the concrete. The knee brace to the head sends Jack to the floor again and Orndorff unloads on the leg with a chair. Orndorff calls for the piledriver but Jack channels his inner Old Man Marley and hits him in the face with the shovel for the pin at 12:17.

Rating: B+. Now that was a lot of fun as these guys beat the living heck out of each other for twelve minutes. It takes something special to hang with Jack in a fight like this for so long and that’s what Orndorff was. He’s grown on me a good bit over the years and they had a really, really good brawl here. Orndorff looked awesome and Jack was crazy over with the fans so what more do you need?

Rock N Roll Express vs. Heavenly Bodies

This is part of the Smoky Mountain Wrestling talent trade with WCW, meaning Jim Cornette is here with the Bodies. The idea is now former WCW boss Bill Watts brought out the Express as the SMW Tag Team Champions but Cornette came out with the Bodies and said not so fast. A feud was set off and it’s time to fight here, with Bobby Eaton out with Cornette and the Bodies.

So yes, Eaton and Stan Lane are against the Express and unfortunately we couldn’t get one last WCW match between the famous teams. The Express of course gets a crazy reaction and the fans can’t stand Cornette, partially because he talks about how ugly the fans are. It really isn’t all that hard you see. Eaton gets ejected before the bell (Cornette hugs him goodbye) and it’s Prichard driving Gibson into the corner to start.

A flying headscissors takes Prichard down though and it’s off to Morton for the hurricanrana. Lane comes in off a hot tag and is immediately armdragged into an armbar as the Bodies can’t get much going early on (because these people know how to book a southern tag match). Morton works on Lane’s arm and sends him into Prichard in the corner and Gibson comes in to do the opposite. Cornette and company need a breather on the floor, with Jesse making a thinly veiled gay joke.

A double backdrop puts Prichard down but he gets Morton into the corner. Morton is out in a hurry though and it’s a four way standoff. Morton and Lane hit the crisscross but Morton drops to the floor to chase Cornette. Back in and the Bodies get caught in a double noggin knocker and a right hand drops Cornette off the apron. Cornette gets a grab of Morton’s foot though and the Bodies FINALLY take over.

A swinging neckbreaker gets two on Morton and the chinlock goes on. The referee catches Lane trying to sneak in and breaks it up but Cornette distracts the referee as Morton grabs a sunset flip. Lane makes the save so Prichard can hit the powerbomb for two. A double DDT gets Morton out of trouble and the hot tag brings in Gibson to clean house.

Everything breaks down and it’s a double dropkick to Prichard but the illegal Lane and Morton distract the referee. Cornette comes in to distract Gibson though and Prichard is up with a bulldog. Morton is back up to take Prichard down for two but Cornette has the referee AGAIN. Cue Eaton, but he hits Prichard by mistake, allowing Gibson to get the fast pin at 12:53.

Rating: B. This is the old southern style tag match with five people who could do this match int heir sleep and then did it rather well indeed. It was a great flashback to a long gone era and that’s the point of something like SMW. Granted that didn’t work long term, but for a one off like this, it was pretty awesome.

Sting isn’t sure what to make of the White Castle of Fear.

US Title: Dustin Rhodes vs. Maxx Payne

Payne is challenging and substituting for an injured Ron Simmons. We even get a quick rule explanation and we’re ready to go. Dustin knocks him to the floor and then clotheslines him outside again. Back in and the armdrag sends Payne outside for a third time in less than two minutes. The armbar slows Payne down but he fights up, only to get caught in a running armdrag into another armbar.

Back up and Payne misses a charge into the corner, meaning we hit the armbar all over again. Payne fights to his feet again, misses a shot, and gets kneed in the arm again. Dustin charges into an elbow but gets up a boot in the corner. With nothing else working, Payne hits Dustin in the face and grabs…his own armbar. Egads can these people do anything else?

The Payne Killer (yes, another armbar) is blocked so Payne puts a knee in the chest instead. Some forearms put Dustin on the floor and a backdrop puts him down back inside. Dustin’s comeback thrills the people who haven’t left their seats and Payne misses an elbow drop. A running clothesline puts Payne down and a suplex gives Dustin two. The abdominal stretch goes on but Payne breaks it up, sending Dustin into the referee for the DQ at 11:29.

Rating: D. Egads what a mess this was. It was a bunch of armbars until they had a sloppy brawl and a bad ending. They really couldn’t come up with anyone better to challenge Dustin than Payne? I know Simmons wasn’t available but come on already. At least find someone who looks like a threat or you could pin.

Vader and Sting finally meet. These clips are less than ten seconds each and that might be for the best.

Here’s the returning Ric Flair to do commentary on the NWA World Title match. Flair is all fired up and reminds us that he never lost the title.

NWA World Title: Barry Windham vs. Great Muta

Windham is challenging and yes, we’re supposed to care about the NWA in 1993. Muta has Hiro Matsuda with him. We get the introductions and the WE WANT FLAIR chants are on again. Oh and the NWA allows you to come off the top, because the NWA and WCW had different rules and fans were supposed to be interested in all of this stuff. Feeling out process to start and Windham easily gets the better of a test of strength.

That’s broken up and Muta headlocks him to the mat, with Windham at least trying to fight up, which is something you don’t see often enough in a situation like this. Windham fights up for a belly to back suplex attempt but can’t escape yet. Back up and Muta scores with a dropkick so the headlock can go on again. Windham still can’t suplex his way out and we’re told it’s ten minutes in, even though it’s been less than seven.

Muta snaps off a suplex and drops the power drive elbow. The headlock stays on, they fight up, the headlock takes them down again. Another dropkick misses though and Windham hits a DDT for no cover. Windham knocks him outside as Jesse talks about Flair’s intimidating security team at ringside. Back in and Windham drops some knees to the head for two before grabbing the sleeper.

That stays on for a good while as the rather slow pace continues. Some feet on the ropes make it clear that Windham is the heel here, though I have a problem believing that the fans are going to be interested in anyone but Flair. Back up and Windham gets two off a gutwrench suplex before sending Muta outside. That lets Muta get fired up and the slugout is on with Windham getting the better of it and grabbing a chinlock. Muta fights up with some shots to the face but can’t get a sunset flip.

Windham’s piledriver attempt is countered with a backdrop so he knocks Muta right back down. The superplex is broken up though and now the comeback is on, including the handspring elbow. Muta misses the moonsault (as pretty as ever) but he’s fine enough to hit a belly to back suplex. Another moonsault attempt hits knees and Windham hits the implant DDT (or close to it as Muta was still on his feet while Windham landed) for the pin and the title at 24:09.

Rating: D. Well that didn’t work and the reason was Ric Flair. Ok so maybe that was part of it, along with Muta apparently having the flu. At the end of the day though, the fans only cared about Flair and were stuck waiting almost five more months before he would win the title. I’m sure there’s a logic to it, but having anything involving the NWA at this point was a waste of time.

Vader and Sting strap up.

The hosts make their main event picks.

Vader vs. Sting

Vader’s World Title isn’t on the line and it’s a strap match (four corners version) with Harley Race in Vader’s corner. They take their sweet time setting up the strap, allowing Jesse to point out how hard it’s going to be for Sting to pull Vader anyway. Vader uses the strap to pull him down to start and then does it again to set up the story of the match in a hurry. Sting is down again so Vader drops an elbow to the ribs as commentary explains the always hazy “broken momentum” rule.

A middle rope splash crushes Sting but he’s back up with those shots to the face that only he could make work. An enziguri of all things puts Vader down but Jesse points out that you can’t drag Vader around when he’s on the mat. The top rope splash makes the problem worse but Vader starts rolling around. Sting starts whipping away, including a shot to knock Race off the apron.

It’s time to go outside with Vader being pulled hard into the post and there’s a slam to put Vader down on the floor. Sting gets two buckles (posts actually) out there but gets sent hard into the barricade to break that up. Vader’s back is bleeding after that whipping so Sting makes it worse with a Samoan drop back inside. The standing body splashes put Sting down but he backdrops his way out of a powerbomb to show off the strength. Sting misses a top rope splash and gets crushed by Vader’s version.

There’s a Samoan drop to Sting to even the score and the Vader Bomb has Race celebrating. Now it’s time to whip Sting, with Jesse saying it’s like Tony whipping his children. A super Samoan drop knocks Sting silly but Vader can only get two buckles. The Vader Bomb misses and the fans are all happy again. The breather lets Sting crotch Vader on top and a slam brings him back down.

Vader is up first again though and hits Sting in the face, only to have Sting do it right back. A superplex takes Sting down again for three buckles but Sting ties his leg around the ropes. Sting drops Vader again and the momentum is broken. You don’t tick Vader off though so he unloads with rights and lefts in the corner. Vader uses the strap to pull him in so Sting uses a Liger kick to get a knockdown.

There’s a DDT but the referee gets bumped. Sting doesn’t seem to mind as he picks Vader up in a fireman’s carry for three, only to trip over the referee. Sting is exhausted so Vader sits on his chest and ties him up for three, but Sting isn’t done. He is however eternally stupid though and kicks Vader into the corner to give him the win at 20:54.

Rating: A-. Like these two could ever do anything wrong. Vader’s back was SCARY out there as he was covered in blood and looked like he had fallen on glass. This was what you would expect out of Vader and Sting, even if the White Castle deal was pure early 90s WCW stupidity. Ignoring that though, it’s a heck of a fight and makes me want to watch them go at it again, which they would do for a long time to come.

Post match Sting whips Vader to the floor.

Barry Windham joins the hosts and promises to win all the titles.

Tony and Jesse wrap us up.

Roll credits.

Overall Rating: B+. There are bad things on the show but the stuff that works are more than enough to make up for them. This is an awesome show and a true hidden gem that no one ever talks about. Aside from the White Castle stuff and thinking the NWA still mattered (I’m still surprised it even existed) at this point, they let the wrestling speak for itself here and that is often a very good idea. Make a few changes and this is an all time classic, but as it is, it’s just a heck of a show and worth seeing if you clip some stuff out.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 19, 1994
Location: Lowell Memorial Auditorium, Lowell, Massachusetts
Attendance: 2,300
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Randy Savage

The big attraction here is Jerry Lawler vs. Duke the Dumpster Droese. I don’t know what else there is to say here, but that’s the high point of the show. We have nothing better than Lawler vs. a trashman and we’re not even in Memphis to make it feel special. I’m almost scared to see what we’re getting here as it’s the dreaded last night of a taping cycle. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a look at Tatanka joining the Million Dollar Corporation. Unlike Lex Luger, he understands the value of a dollar.

Opening sequence.

Lex Luger vs. The Executioner

I’d bet on that being Dwayne Gill under a mask. Luger headlocks and shoulders him down to start but Executioner grabs a small package for two. Some forearms to the back stagger Luger but he’s right back with a running clothesline. The Rack is good for a fast submission.

Duke Droese vs. Jerry Lawler

They’re getting to the big one early this week. Before the match, Lawler makes trash jokes about Droese being filthy. The chase is on before the bell but Lawler is finally willing to get inside. Lawler’s headlock gives him a big smile so Droese shoves him hard into the corner. That means Lawler hides behind the referee as he continues to know how to rile the fans up while doing a grand total of nothing.

Now it’s Lawler being sent outside so he can yell at some fans, followed by a big hiptoss inside. Droese hammers away in the corner for a face first fall, meaning Lawler needs another breather. Back in and Lawler gets backdropped so it’s another trip to the floor and we take a break. We come back with Lawler stalling more, all with the fans being rather annoyed with him (in a good way).

It’s time to go to Memphis with the invisible object and a single shot puts Droese down. Lawler gets on the rope and poses and it’s time to slug away. The middle rope fist gets two but Droese launches him with the kickout. There’s the piledriver but Lawler goes outside to get the trashcan. Cue Dink of all people to spray Lawler with a water gun. The chase is on and that’s a countout to give Droese the win.

Rating: D+. I could go with the standard Lawler antics but then a miniature clown came in to cause a countout because Lawler got distracted by a trashcan. That’s one thing for a fun little match somewhere on the show but this was the featured match on the card, to the point where they even advertised it twice last week. It had some promise and then turned into a product of the era.

Post match the chase is still on until Doink comes out to send Lawler running into the crowd.

Heavenly Bodies vs. Mike Bell/Steve King

Joined in progress with Del Ray suplexing King and rubbing a forearm to his face. Prichard comes in for an elbow drop and it’s already back to Del Ray for a dropkick. A suplex sets up the moonsault to finish King in a hurry. Bell never even tagged in.

Another New Generation confession ad. They thought it was so great that they did another version?

Vince McMahon brings out Bob Backlund for an interview. Bob is booed out of the building, having recently snapped on Bret Hart. Vince asks what is going on in Backlund’s head but Bob needs to make it clear that he is NOT a former champion. He’s coming up on seventeen years as WWF Champion and starts ranting about society today, including bad pencils.

The fans are the ones who changed and he put the chickenwing on Bret because he wants to put it on every one of the fans. The people have manipulated themselves because the chickenwing is the greatest hold in wrestling. Even Bret can’t get out of it and it’s not his fault that people in America can’t stick to a diet or can’t read. Vince asks about Backlund saying no one can escape the chickenwing after saying for years that no one can escape the hold.

Bob is so confident in the hold that if anyone can escape it from the mat, he’ll retire. The jacket comes off and it’s time for a demonstration on a WWF Magazine writer at ringside. The chickenwing goes on and Backlund cranks on the thing, causing Vince himself to try for the save. It’s so much that Savage comes in for the real save, leaving Backlund just staring at his hands. He is MR. BACKLUND and you can feel it. This was awesome as Backlund came off as a complete psycho and having Vince getting involved made it even better.

Bob Holly vs. Richie Rich

Isn’t Macaulay Culkin a little young to be a jobber here? Commentary completely ignores the match to rant about Backlund as Holly works on the arm to start. A clothesline into a high crossbody finishes Rich in a hurry.

Yokozuna vs. Phil Apollo

Vince is back to normal and Yokozuna is making a rare solo appearance. Yokozuna elbows him down to start and hammers Apollo down in the corner without much effort. The Banzai Drop is good for the fast pin.

Post match Undertaker’s music hits to freak Yokozuna out.

Overall Rating: D+. That Backlund promo came as close to saving a rotten show as you can get though even it had a limit. The rest of the show was pretty terrible, though I can appreciate the last two matches being short and to the point rather than dragging them out longer than necessary. They need a pay per view to build towards though because hearing about the Hart Attack Tour every few seconds isn’t quite cutting it.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 16, 1995
Location: Summit, Houston, Texas
Attendance: 3,500
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Shawn Michaels

We continue the build towards the Royal Rumble though you would barely know it based on the TV shows lately. The main focus here has been on Bret Hart, who is getting a WWF Title shot at the pay per view but he’s been busy dealing with Jeff Jarrett and Jerry Lawler instead of going after Diesel. It’s the go home show tonight and I don’t see this going well for the Rumble build. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Vince narrates a Star Trek style opening video about Hart vs. Jarrett with William Shatner in Bret’s corner.

Opening sequence.

Heavenly Bodies vs. 1-2-3 Kid/Bob Holly

This is a rematch from the Tag Team Title tournament semifinals where the Bodies lost. The Bodies jump them before the bell with the Kid being sent outside and Holly getting kicked in the ribs. Del Ray clotheslines Holly for two and we hit the choking. Prichard comes in and gets legdropped onto Holly for two as the announcers talk about the Super Bowl points spread.

The gutwrench powerbomb gives Prichard two more and it’s back to Del Ray for a high crossbody. Holly rolls through for two and here are Tatanka and Bam Bam Bigelow, who get Holly and Kid for the titles on Sunday. A double clothesline is broken up as Holly dives onto the two arms to pull the Bodies together (I’m still not sure if that makes sense or not) and it’s off to the Kid. Everything breaks down and Kid gets caught in a double suplex, only to have Holly make the save with a spear. Kid rolls Del Ray up for the pin.

Rating: D+. Totally basic formula here and there’s nothing wrong with opening a show like that. The Kid and Holly are still not a great team but they’re exciting enough to give a chance, even if it doesn’t last long. It’s not like the tag division has any depth at the moment so see what two fun guys like that can do.

Bret Hart and William Shatner are ready for tonight. Hart insists he has no ring rust and Shatner dubs Roadie as Road Dogg.

Mantaur vs, Jason Ahrndt

Jim Cornette is managing Mantaur, which is a rib on him for reasons of the company having a bad sense of humor. Mantaur runs Jason over to start and slowly stomps away as Shawn says his Rumble number doesn’t matter. Another charge takes Jason down and a splash finishes in a hurry. Mantaur’s theme music is literally a moose’s call. Can you blame Cornette for hating this stuff?

Royal Rumble Report. You should order the show because Pamela Anderson is going to be there. Something about wrestling too. There’s nothing to this card aside from a Bret vs. Diesel match we’ve seen before and they know it. Case in point: Undertaker and Paul Bearer talk about being ready for IRS.

Jeff Jarrett says he’ll win the Intercontinental Title and take care of Bret Hart tonight.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Bret Hart

Roadie and William Shatner are here. Vince brings up a good point: why would either of these two take a match before they’re challenging for titles on Sunday? Bret gives his glasses to a young fan at ringside and the kid smiles so much that even I have to smile. I know wrestling gets a lot of flack at times, but kids smiling at wrestling is one of my favorite things.

Feeling out process to start and Bret gets a bit heelish by raking the eyes across the rope. An atomic drop and running clothesline take Jarrett down and the armbar goes on. Jeff can’t even slam or armdrag his way out of the armbar as Bret is rather tenacious with the thing. Back up and Bret grabs a sleeper, which is broken up a bit more easily. A swinging neckbreaker takes us to a break and we come back with Bret sunset flipping him for two.

Shatner is playing cheerleader and does at least seem happy to be there. That’s more than most celebrities can say. Jarrett’s middle rope ax handle hits Bret but some right hands start the comeback. The Russian legsweep gives Bret two and we’re firmly in the Five Moves Of Doom.

Jeff blocks the Sharpshooter with a rake to the eyes so Bret ties him into the ropes for a change of pace. Roadie makes the save though, allowing Jeff to slap on the Figure Four. The rope is grabbed, albeit with Shatner shoving the rope towards Bret for a little help. Back up and Jeff tries an O’Connor Roll but Bret uses the tights to reverse into one of his own for the pin (without tights).

Rating: C+. Of course the match was fine and Bret was feeling it well enough with the slightly heelish tendencies, though I’m not sure how smart it was to have Jeff take the pin six days before he’s going to challenge for the Intercontinental Title. He lost to a big name, but that isn’t exactly making things that much better. There was no one else to have take the spot in the mini feud with Bret? The bad thing? There really isn’t.

Post match Shatner knocks Roadie down and avoids a dive off the top by just stepping to the side. He even sends Roadie into the buckle a few times and then over the top.

We recap the Tag Team Title tournament before Sunday’s fine.

It’s time for the King’s Court with the Million Dollar Corporation as the guests. DiBiase is ready for the team to have a great night on Sunday when Bam Bam Bigelow and Tatanka win the Tag Team Titles, IRS gets rid of Undertaker and King Kong Bundy wins the Royal Rumble. Then the next night, Bigelow and Tatanka can beat the Smoking Gunns to really show how great they are. Somehow, this takes the better part of five minutes.

Mabel vs. Lee Tobin

Tobin’s headlock works as much as you would imagine it would on a 6’10 560lb guy in purple and gold. A suplex puts him down as the announcers talk about OJ Simpson and the Rumble. Mabel’s jumping enziguri connects but Tobin manages to shoulder him into the corner. That’s about it for him though as Mabel runs him over and hits the legdrop for the pin.

Post break Mabel says he’s going to win the Rumble but Shawn disagrees. So does King Kong Bundy, who wants to fight right now.

Royal Rumble ad, again focusing on Pamela Anderson more than the wrestling. In this case, I get the idea.

Back with no Bundy on Mabel violence but the announcers preview the Rumble.

A video on Diesel ends the show.

Overall Rating: D. The Jarrett vs. Hart match was pretty good but this was a dreadful go home show for the Rumble. It felt like they were trying to cram in whatever they could into the last segment and that’s not a good sign less than a week before one of the biggest shows of the year. Pretty awful show here but the middle match was perfectly fine.

I’ve already done the January 23 show, which you can find right here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/01/23/on-this-day-january-23-1995-monday-night-raw-a-1995-raw-that-doesnt-suck/

Survivor Series 1993
Date: November 24, 1993
Location: Boston Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 15,509
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Bobby Heenan

This really is a transitional time for the company as the major stars of the past are all out of the picture, save for the occasional appearance by Savage. Bret is one of the top stars in the company but is taking a back seat to the more muscular and arguably more marketable Lex Luger. Hart’s time would come though. Let’s get to it.

Vince and Bobby talk a little bit about the concept and we’re ready to go.

Team IRS vs. Team Razor Ramon

IRS, Adam Bomb, Diesel, Rick Martel

Razor Ramon, 1-2-3 Kid, Marty Jannetty, Mr. Perfect

IRS and Ramon are feuding over the now face Razor’s Intercontinental Title, Martel was the guy Ramon beat for the title, Diesel (a big man and Shawn Michaels’ bodyguard) and Adam Bomb (a good sized power man) are just there to fill in spots, Jannetty and Kid (a rookie who shocked the world earlier in the year by beating Ramon on Raw) are a semi-regular tag team and Perfect….isn’t here.

Ramon talks about Perfect leaving (his back messed up again and he just kind of left for five months) but he’s got a treat for us. Razor has a surprise partner and it’s……RANDY SAVAGE! Heenan LOSES IT and the crowd does right along with him. This is when Savage wanted to murder Crush, who is in the main event tonight. Savage and Crush had been friends but Crush had turned on him and beaten Savage up, over Savage not visiting Crush when he was injured.

Heenan apparently called Perfect no showing this and Vince says Heenan was right for once. Bobby: “FOR ONCE???” Ramon and Martel start things off with Rick working on the arm. They fight for the arm and hit the mat for a bit before popping back up. Razor slaps him in the face and rolls through a cross body for two. Martel gets caught in the fall away slam (BIG pop for that) for two.

Razor hits a pair of atomic drops and a clothesline for two. Off to Adam Bomb who shoves Ramon into the corner with ease. They collide and Razor is knocked down in a bit of a surprise. They have a test of strength with Bomb controlling again before Ramon fights up and suplexes Bomb down.

Martel tries to save but elbows Bomb by mistake. Harvey Wippleman (Bomb’s manager) gets up on the apron and is knocked down, causing a big fight between IRS’ team. Ramon’s team uses common sense and lets them fight. I’ve never gotten why anyone would interfere when their opponents are doing damage to themselves. We get things settled down and it’s the Kid vs. Bomb. Kid tries a sunset flip and Bomb (about 6’8 and 300lbs) has little problem countering.

Off to Diesel who throws Kid around even harder. I’m not sure why they keep putting Kid in there against these monsters. A gutwrench powerbomb from Diesel leaves Kid laying and a big boot does the same. Kid finally hits a spin kick and it’s off to Savage who destroys the entire team, including sending Bomb into Diesel. A slam puts Diesel down and the flying elbow makes it 4-3.

Martel charges in and rams Savage face first into the buckle. Since it’s 1993, Martel’s offense has almost no effect and Savage takes over. Off to IRS who has a bit better luck as he takes Savage into the corner but gets cross bodied for two. Back to Ramon who works on the arm but as he hits the ropes, Martel hits Razor in the back to slow the Bad Guy (Razor’s nickname) down.

Bomb comes back in to power Razor around a bit but it’s quickly back to IRS who works on Razor’s back. We hit the chinlock and the heels switch a few times without tagging. Villains. Off to Macho Man again who knees IRS into the corner. A slam looks to set up the elbow but here comes Crush. Savage sees him and immediately goes after him but is sent back into the ring and rolled up by IRS for the pin and elimination.

Savage chases Crush into the back and looks for him in the locker rooms as the match is still going on. Savage doesn’t find him so we’ll continue this game later. We come back to the ring to see Bomb choking away on Jannetty and stomping him in the corner. Martel hooks an abdominal stretch for a few seconds but a corner charge hits the post and it’s back to Ramon.

Razor pounds away on IRS and hits a chokeslam followed by the Razor’s Edge for the pin and the 3-2 advantage. Everything breaks down and as Razor loads up the Edge on Martel, IRS hits him in the ribs with his briefcase. Ramon rolls to the floor and gets counted out to tie things up again. So it’s Jannetty/1-2-3 Kid vs. Martel/Bomb. The Kid gets sent to the floor and slammed down by Bomb who hits a slingshot clothesline to take the Kid down back inside.

Off to Martel as the Kid is in a lot of trouble. Martel drops some knees on the back for two as Vince says the Kid has a lot of heart. Heenan: “THEN KICK HIM IN THE HEART!” Martel jumps into a right hand to the ribs and there’s the tag to Jannetty who cleans house. Back to the Kid way too soon for a double back elbow and a sunset flip to eliminate Martel. Kid immediately tags in Jannetty who sunset flips Bomb for the pin ten seconds after Martel was eliminated. REALLY hot ending here.

Rating: B. I really liked this match as it was fast paced and a ton of fun. If you cut about five minutes from this, it’s a classic. Having Jannetty and the Kid be the survivors was a very nice surprise and it gave the fans something to cheer for. I really liked this one and it puts the show off on the right foot.

Shawn is in the back with the Intercontinental Title. There are two belts at this point as Shawn was suspended while champion but he kept the belt. That gives us two belts which presents a problem. Maybe we should put them above the ring and make the guys climb a ladder to get them while having one of the best matches ever. Anyway tonight it’s Shawn and his Knights vs. the Hart Family.

We go to a Hart Family interview earlier with Family Feud (game show) host Ray Combs. They all say that Shawn is in trouble for going after Stu recently and it’s going to be a massive Hart Attack.

Back to Shawn who says he’s not ready for the Harts and he makes fun of all five of them, including Stu. Shawn is really clicking as the insanely arrogant heel by this point.

Jannetty and Kid celebrate with Ramon. Savage is off chasing Crush.

Combs is in the ring to talk about the Hart Family being at ringside. Pay attention because it’s amazing enough to have them all in the same place without suing or trying to kill each other. Combs gets in some jokes about Shawn which aren’t really funny but this is filler stuff anyway. Vince of course laughs like there’s no tomorrow.

Hart Family vs. Shawn Michaels/Knights

Bret Hart, Keith Hart, Bruce Hart, Owen Hart

Shawn Michaels, Blue Knight, Black Knight, Red Knight

The Blue Knight is Greg Valentine, the Red Knight is Barry Horowitz and the Black Knight is Jeff Gaylord (indy guy who never meant anything on a national stage). Stu Hart is here with his sons as if there was somehow any doubt as to who was getting destroyed. Ray Combs sits in on commentary and while he’s not incredibly funny, he sounds like he’s having a blast out there and is enjoying himself which is all I ask for from a celebrity. Heenan vs. Combs on commentary is a good back and forth jab fest if nothing else.

Shawn and Owen start but Shawn wants Keith, who along with Bruce haven’t wrestled in years. Keith speeds things up and Shawn gets sent into the interfering Red Knight. Shawn tries to throw Keith into the corner but Keith takes out Red and Blue. An armdrag takes Shawn down and it’s Keith with an armbar. Shawn’s suplex attempt is countered into a small package and it’s back to the armbar.

Michaels slams Keith down and it’s off to the Red Knight vs. Owen. Owen fires off some shots to the arm and it’s off to the Black Knight. That goes nowhere at all so let’s try Bret vs. Blue. Bret hits some atomic drops and a clothesline for two. Back to Keith who continues the armbar marathon and it’s Bruce time again. Off to Shawn with a backbreaker and some elbows to the back.

Red comes in and suplexes Bruce down for two. Back to Black who is the biggest of the Knights and gets rolled up for two. It’s back to Shawn who gets rammed into the corner before Red pokes Bruce in the head. Bruce hits a clothesline and it’s off to Bret vs. Black. An O’Connor Roll and small package get two each for Bret as he takes over. The backbreaker and middle rope elbow get two and it’s off to Owen.

A spinwheel kick drops Black and everything breaks down. Shawn and all three Knights get sent into each other in the middle of the ring and a missile dropkick from Owen pins Black. Off to the Red but Owen works over his leg. Back to Bret and who helps make a wish on Red’s legs. Keith comes in again and the leg work continues.

Red tries a knee lift and hurts his own knee in the process. Some fans chant boring and they’re right in doing so. Back to Bruce who pops Red in the face. The Hitman comes in and we get another wishbone split. Red sends Keith into the buckle to escape a figure four attempt but misses a knee drop instead of tagging. Keith puts on a Figure Four but Shawn makes the save and it’s off to Blue. Those boring chants are getting a little bit louder.

Blue works over Keith’s arm and it’s off to Shawn with a top rope double ax to the arm. The shoulder gets sent into the buckle and Shawn cranks on the bad arm. Back to Red whose leg seems fine now. Rey cranks on the arm around the post which results in more double teaming. Heenan has been ripping the Harts apart the entire match, including a nice jab here: “None of them look alike.” Keep in mind this is as Keith is having his arm destroyed.

Blue stays on the arm including dropping a leg, followed by a hammerlock slam. Off to Shawn who misses a Rocket Launcher, allowing the tag to Bret, prompting Shawn to tag out to Red. Red immediately gets caught in a spinebuster and the Sharpshooter to make it 4-2. Blue comes in to clothesline Bret and both he and Keith are now hurt. Bret is thrown back in and suplexed down for two.

Blue drops a very Greg Valentine elbow and Heenan says he knows who the Blue Knight is. Vince: “Who is that?” Bobby: “The guy in the ring that just dropped an elbow on Bret Hart.” I love you Bobby Heenan. Back to Shawn for a chinlock to kill even more time. I’m not sure how much there is of it left as this has been going long already. Blue comes in for another two off another elbow as Bobby lays into Helen Hart.

Bret hits a middle rope clothesline and he makes the tag to Owen. The crowd just does not care here and the lack of any reaction is kind of sad. A middle rope elbow gets two on Blue and Bruce and Shawn come in at the same time. Shawn goes to the floor and goes after Stu, only to get BLASTED IN THE FACE. Bobby: “I’ve always liked Stu.” A missile dropkick puts Blue down and Shawn’s saving elbow hits Blue as well. Shawn is sent to the floor and the Sharpshooter eliminates Blue.

It’s 4-1 and Shawn is drinking water. All four of the Harts hammer on Shawn and it’s Bruce who gets two off an elbow drop. Bruce charges into a boot and Shawn chokes away a bit. The superkick, still not a finisher, gets two on Bruce. Bruce gets in a boot and makes the tag to Bret to a small reaction. Bret hits a slingshot to the buckle for two. Shawn gets in a kick and it’s off to Owen.

Now here’s where it gets interesting: Bret is trying to get it together on the apron and Owen is rammed into Bret, knocking him off the apron and into the barricade. Owen is distracted by the mistake, allowing Shawn to roll him up for the pin. All of the Harts go to check on Bret and Owen FREAKS, storming to the back and shouting WHAT ABOUT ME! This would start the feud of the year in 1994.

Bruce comes in and drops an elbow on Shawn for two. Bret is still getting up after the crash he took into the barricade. Bruce and Shawn hit head to head twice in a row to really stretch this thing out. Keith comes in with an abdominal stretch (including the toe around the ankle) but Shawn hip tosses out of it with ease. Back to Bret who pounds away and crotches Shawn on the top rope. Bret picks the leg but Shawn escapes the Sharpshooter and walks out for the countout.

Rating: D. This was…….long. At the end of the day it ran 30 minutes when it should have been about 15. The only thing that mattered here was Owen and the future angle vs. Bret. Shawn being in there didn’t help much, but it needed to be Jerry Lawler and without him this didn’t mean anything of note. Not a good match and the length hurt it a lot. They were against things they couldn’t really help here and that’s what brought it down a lot.

Owen comes back and gets in Bret’s face during the celebration. Stu tries to calm Owen down but Owen rants about getting no recognition and celebrates in the ring on his own. Helen, the matriarch in the audience, loses it as well.

Gorilla and JR are going to do commentary on the next match as Heenan and Vince are going to do Radio WWF, an idea which didn’t last long. During the change over, Gorilla threatens to kill Heenan as was his trademark at this point.

We recap the Foreign Fanatics vs. the All Americans. Ludvig Borga hit Tatanka with a chair and pinned him with one finger, breaking Tatanka’s two year undefeated streak. Tatanka then got beaten up by Yokozuna. This led to the Steiners and Luger picking a new partner in the Undertaker. This led to an awesome moment with Undertaker opening his coat and having an American Flag inside of it (with 13 stars for some reason). Luger then beat up Quebecer Pierre in a singles match to put him out of the pay per view. The Fanatics added the EVIL FOREIGN Hawaiian Crush.

Here’s Jim Cornette to introduce his team for a very out there match.

Smokey Mountain Wrestling Tag Titles: Heavenly Bodies vs. Rock N Roll Express

This is part of an agreement the companies had at the time which didn’t work that well. The Express (Ricky Morton and Robert Gibson, a legendary team from the 80s) are the champions and they’re defending against Tom Prichard and Jimmy Del Ray. It’s a brawl to start with the Express being sent to the floor. Gibson is pulled back in but Morton pulls both of the Bodies out to the floor. Ricky follows that up with a suicide dive to take both of them out at the same time.

Things slow down and we start with Gibson vs. Del Ray. They’re going to go very fast in this match and that’s exactly how it starts with Gibson flipping out of the corner and hitting a headscissor takeover before bringing in Morton. Prichard comes in and gets booed louder than all of the Knights in the previous match combined. Morton can’t quite get above Prichard on a leapfrog and he ducks a Del Ray superkick which takes Prichard down instead.

Both Bodies get monkey flipped out of the corner and we get the always dumb looking rowboat spot, where all four of the heels’ legs are rotated around by the good guys. Gibson works on Prichard’s leg and the Express take out Del Ray in the corner before Morton works on Prichard’s leg as well. Tom finally gets in a shot and it’s off to Del Ray who is immediately armdragged down.

In a nice move, Gibson blocks the buckle before Morton’s back hits it to prevent the Bodies from getting the advantage. It’s been all Express other than the first fifteen seconds. The Bodies have a quick huddle on the floor and the fans are bored. It’s Prichard vs. Morton now with the heels taking over for the first time since the beginning. Off to Del Ray who is suplexed down onto Morton for two.

Back to Prichard for some more choking. There wasn’t a tag but that’s why the Bodies are heels. Del Ray hits an Asai Moonsault to the floor and it’s back to Prichard in the ring who hits a powerslam for two. Off to a chinlock as this match is turning into an old school tag match of the NWA style. A Trash Compactor (a kind of spinebuster/guillotine legdrop combo) gets two but Del Ray’s powerbomb is countered into a hurricanrana for two. Ricky hooks a small package for another two and Del Ray hits a moonsault press on Morton for ANOTHER two. This is why it’s called Playing Ricky Morton. The guy was a master at it.

A double DDT puts the Bodies down and Morton rolls over to make the tag to Gibson. Now we get to the point of the match: Prichard throws Morton over the top, which is a DQ in SMW but this is in the WWF. Gibson gets confused and decked for his confusion as Morton gets beaten down even more. There’s the double dropkick to Prichard but it only gets two. Del Ray comes off the top with a tennis racket (Cornette signature) shot to Gibson for the pin and the titles.

Rating: B-. This was a strange match as from a technical standpoint it was quite good and in SMW it would have been the main event of a big show, but we’re not in SMW. We’re in the WWF here and these people don’t mean anything. There’s a deep history here of a ton of matches with various gimmicks to them, making this a huge feud. The problem is all we’re told is they’ve been feuding for years. It’s the same issue you have with Japanese or other foreign wrestlers: just being told how great they are doesn’t mean anything to most fans. We need to see these things, not be told about them.

Team Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Four Doinks

Bam Bam Bigelow, Bastion Booger, Headshrinkers

Bushwhackers, Men on a Mission

Ok. I can get through this. The Doinks are all dressed like a clown and their identities were secret until they were unveiled here. Luke comes out on a scooter, Butch has a wagon, the Men on a Mission come out on foot. Mabel needs the exercise so that’s a good idea. Notice that there’s no actual Doink in the match and the fans aren’t going to be pleased here.

A LOUD We Want Doink chant starts up and Bastion and Luke start things off. Booger is a VERY fat guy in a too small singlet in case you’re not familiar with him. Luke bites him on the ample singlet before stomping on Bastion’s foot. Afa bites Butch’s balloon and it’s off to Samu. Then he bites a water balloon and gets rolled up by Luke for the pin. Fatu comes in and Luke hurts his own head off a headbutt attempt.

Booger comes in and drops a leg on Luke and it’s off to Bigelow with a headbutt to the ribs. It’s back to Booger who sits on Luke before stopping for a banana. Another drop by Bastion misses and the Battering Ram puts him down. Mabel drops a leg on Bastion and it’s 4-2. Fatu comes in to offer meat to Luke and takes over, but here’s Mo on a scooter for a ride around the ring. Bigelow comes in and destroys the scooter and Fatu hits the top rope splash….and stops for a banana.

Butch comes in with a bucket of something….scratch that as there’s nothing in it, but Fatu slips on a banana peel as he jumps from it and Butch rolls him up for the pin. Bigelow is all that’s left and he gets to fight Mabel. Bam Bam can’t do anything to the power of fat but Mabel misses a splash. The other Doinks come in and get beaten up also but Butch throws something on Luna. Mabel splashes Bigelow and a dog pile (which is allowed) gets the pin.

Rating: F. For failure, which is one of the few words to describe how bad this was. I am in awe. We had falls from a water balloon, a banana peel and a bucket of something being thrown on Luna. On top of all that, Doink, the point of the whole thing, wasn’t even in the match despite it being a character that could be played by almost anyone.

As Bigelow is leaving, Doink (whose performer has recently changed) pops up on screen to laugh at Bam Bam. The next step in this feud: a midget named Dink of course.

The Doinks, including the real Doink, celebrate in the back. Why the REAL Doink couldn’t be in the arena isn’t answered.

The Foreign Fanatics are in the back and Cornette talks about their battle plan. He talks about how they look at the All Americans as one man. You can take a man out by taking out his heart, his mind and his soul. The Steiners are the heart, but if you take it out, he has no will to fight. The Undertaker is the mind, but if you take it out, the man is confused. Luger is the soul, but if you take it out, you’ve defeated him completely. I’ve always liked that promo.

Before the match, we get a history lesson about Boston. No seriously, this happens. Thankfully it turns into some promos from the All Americans.

Foreign Fanatics vs. All Americans

Foreign Fanatics: Yokozuna, Crush, Ludvig Borga, Jacques

All Americans: Lex Luger, Undertaker, Steiner Brothers

The Quebecers are the Tag Team Champions and have Johnny (Raven Polo) as their manager. Yokozuna is WWF World Champion. Jacques and Scott start things off and Jacques offers a handshake. Scott says screw you in classic Freakzilla style. Scott hits a quick belly to belly for two and it’s off to Rick. Jacques brings in Yokozuna and things slow down almost immediately. Rick hits a clothesline and a shoulder to knock Yokozuna out to the floor but it doesn’t do much good.

Off to Borga to knock Rick to the floor but Steiner comes back in off the top with a shoulder for no cover. Borga misses an elbow and Rick goes up again, coming off with a cross body. Borga rolls through it and Rick isn’t moving at all, giving Borga an easy pin. Rick finally starts moving and holds his leg, so I’m thinking that’s a legit injury. Rick can’t stand up on the floor.

Scott comes in next and gets to fight Jacques. Rick eventually limps off on his own power which is a good sign at least. Scott hits a great gorilla press but Crush catches a falling Jacques and I guess that’s a tag. Steiner wants nothing to do with a test of strength so Crush pounds on him a bit. A butterfly powerbomb puts Crush down and apparently Savage is back in the building. Crush kicks Scott down and here’s Macho.

Crush throws Scott down to the floor over the top but he won’t go after Savage. Randy gets sent to the back and the dull match continues as Scott may have hurt his knee on that fall. The knee gets targeted now with Crush firing away some kicks and Savage is coming back AGAIN. Scott dropkicks Crush to the floor and Crush goes after Savage for long enough to draw a countout.

Jacques goes after the injured Scott now with a rear chinlock followed by an elbow to the jaw for two. Scott somehow hits a gorilla press on Jacques and there’s the tag to Lex. He slams Jacques down and drops a middle rope elbow for the elimination. It’s now Lex, Undertaker and Scott vs. Borga and Yoko. Borga comes in to face the still limping Scott as Undertaker hasn’t been in the match yet.

Ludvig pounds on the ribs and whips Scott in the corner so he can clothesline Steiner down. Borga goes up top but gets suplexed back down for two. Yokozuna comes in and pounds away, but Scott gets in some offense. He tries the freaking Frankensteiner which goes about as well as you would expect it to, resulting in a legdrop from Yokozuna eliminating Scott to get us down to two on two.

Luger comes in as we’re almost 20 minutes in with no Undertaker yet. Borga, a Finn, waves the Japanese flag. Yokozuna misses a splash and Lex pounds away, only to get clotheslined down with ease. Off to Borga who runs Luger over again and kicks him in the ribs. Back to Yokozuna who misses a charge, and it’s FINALLY off to Undertaker.

The Dead Man hits his running DDT and sits up but a Borga distraction lets Yokozuna suplex Undertaker down. There’s the situp and another after a clothesline. A legdrop keeps Undertaker down and there’s the Banzai, but Yokozuna goes for another, and Undertaker moves. A clothesline puts Yokozuna on the floor and they brawl to a double countout. See you at the Rumble boys. Undertaker was legally in the match for less than two minutes and forty seconds.

So it’s Lex vs. Borga now and as Undertaker and Yokozuna brawl on the floor. Ludvig has taken over and drops a leg on Lex. A side slam puts Lex down for two and Borga gets more two’s off various other power moves. He isn’t covering well though so he isn’t ready to pin Luger yet. A suplex puts Borga down and they clothesline each other. With Cornette distracting the referee, Borga hits Lex with Fuji’s salt bucket for two. Lex gets fired up and hits a powerslam and the loaded forearm for the final pin.

Rating: D+. This didn’t work either. Undertaker was the main draw and he wasn’t even in there for a tenth of the match. Yokozuna vs. Undertaker would go on to screw up two PPVs and Lex would never get the title, basically making the second half of 1993 totally pointless. This match didn’t work at all, and a lot of that is due to the heel lineup. Unless there was an injury or something, I don’t get why Pierre was taken out.

Santa comes out to celebrate with Luger just like last year.

Overall Rating: D. Let’s take a look at this card: great opener, WAY too long second match with the wrong main heel, a match from another company, the banana peel/water balloon fiasco, and the main event with an evil foreign Hawaiian. This show comes off as very long and dull, with most of the matches being completely uninteresting. It was uninteresting back in the day too, as this show got the lowest buyrate in the history of the Survivor Series up to this point.

Ratings Comparison

Team Razor Ramon vs. Team IRS

Original: B

Redo: B

Hart Family vs. Team Shawn Michaels

Original: D+

Redo: D

Rock N Roll Express vs. Heavenly Bodies

Original: B

Redo: B-

Four Doinks vs. Team Bam Bam Bigelow

Original: N/A

Redo: Awe

All-Americans vs. Foreign Fanatics

Original: C-

Redo: D+

Overall Rating:

Original: C+

Redo: D

It was almost the same until the overall rating. I don’t get how it jumps up that high off just a few better grades.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/12/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-1993-usa-usa-usa/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Updated History of the Intercontinental Title in E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/10/02/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-the-intercontinental-title-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

 

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 20, 1994
Location: Westchester County Civic Center, White Plains, New York
Attendance: 3,400
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Randy Savage

It’s the night after King of the Ring and that means Owen Hart is the top heel in the promotion, which he kind of was coming into the pay per view. If nothing else we should have a main event set up for Summerslam now, with Owen challenging his brother Bret, who retained against Diesel. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Special moment here: the debut of the SPANISH announce team, though we don’t see their more famous table.

Diesel vs. Mark Thomas

Non-title. Thomas is absolutely jacked, to the point where I’m surprised they didn’t give him another look. Actually I’m not as this is during the middle of the STEROIDS TRIAL and this is the best jobber they can find. Thomas shrugs off a ram into the buckle as we talk about Jim Neidhart (which may never again be uttered in a discussion of Raw). We look at the commentary team and THERE’S THE TABLE!!! A knock to the floor has Thomas rocked and there’s the side slam back inside. Snake Eyes set up a neck crank, followed by the Jackknife for the pin.

Rating: D. This was just a way to get Diesel back on track, even though he won the match last night. He’s still the Intercontinental Champion and while that’s hardly remembered, it was a major point in his ascension to the top of the company. I still want to know why this jobber never got at least a look. Teach him almost anything and the look will carry the rest.

The King of the Ring Report recaps most of the show. That’s not the way I would push the encore but you can’t question the WWF’s business sense in 1994.

The announcers push the encore and you can see Savage high fiving fans behind him. That’s just cool.

1-2-3 Kid vs. Nikolai Volkoff

The winner gets a shot at Bret on July 11. Volkoff is part of the Million Dollar Team, meaning his (huge) gear says Property of the Million Dollar Man. Nikolai shoves him around a few times to start so Kid grabs a headlock for as much impact as you would expect. A choke takes Kid down and Volkoff stomps away, followed by a butterfly suplex as we flash back to the 70s. The gorilla press backbreaker gets two more but Volkoff pulls him up like a schnook. Kid tweaks his knee coming out of the corner but it’s just a fake, setting up a small package for the pin and the title shot.

Rating: D. The Kid was getting a lot better around this point but there’s only so much you can do against Volkoff and his ancient offense. It also doesn’t help when you’re supposed to believe that Volkoff is going to get a WWF World Title shot in 1994. Not a good match but again, why in the world was Volkoff in this spot?

Kid gets beaten down even more until Virgil of all people (He still had a job in 1994???) makes the save. That goes nowhere so Lex Luger makes the real save.

Next week: Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Mabel! Thanks for the warning.

Yokozuna vs. Nick Barbery

Forearms and stomps to the back, chops, choking, big fat leg for the pin. The big story from the announcers: TYPHOON is coming to face Yokozuna. Again, thanks for the warning.

Typhoon vs. Black Phantom

Typhoon is billed from Norfolk, Virginia, which I never remember hearing otherwise. He runs into Yokozuna in the aisle and smacks him upside the head. Typhoon uses the big fat offense as Savage realizes that he’s doing commentary with Monsoon instead of Vince. The Phantom hammers away in the corner and looks quite good doing it, to the point where he probably should get a job. Actually he would as that would be the future Gangrel. A suplex and splash put the Phantom away with no effort.

It’s time for the King’s Court with Lawler wearing sunglasses. He rants about Piper bringing the (male) kid into the match, who Lawler claims was Piper’s daughter. Tonight’s guest is Duke the Dumpster Droese, the wrestling garbageman. Duke can’t get in the ring due to his stench though so Lawler makes Ace Ventura jokes. Droese says he doesn’t want to talk to a piece of garbage like Lawler so he walks out, only to have Lawler beat him with a garbage can.

Heavenly Bodies vs. Jim Powers/Russ Greenberg

Jim Cornette sits in on commentary and I could go with hearing him talk to Savage for years. Powers knees Del Ray down as we hear about the Bodies getting a Tag Team Title shot against the Headshrinkers. Prichard comes in and gets shouldered down as Cornette rants about Vanna White and dinosaurs. The Spanish commentary starts bleeding through, sending Cornette into one of his patented frenzied rants. Del Ray superkicks Russ, setting up an elevated DDT. Cornette says the Bodies are cockroaches and Del Ray mostly misses a moonsault press (cracking his pelvis in the process) for the pin.

Rating: D+. The Bodies are actually a really underrated tag team (I blame the hair) and it’s a shame that they never did much after Smoky Mountain went under. They had good looks and a solid enough gimmick to make it work, plus Cornette running his mouth like only he could. Check out their Smoky Mountain feud if you want to see just how good they could be.

Gorilla apologizes for the trashcan and says you’ll NEVER see that again.

Summerslam ad.

DiBiase has his eye on Luger and suggests he join the Million Dollar Team to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. Some really bad wrestling this week but sweet tuna melts on toast with papaya on the side Bret vs. the Kid could tear the house down. This was the fallout show from the pay per view so there’s only so much you can get out of it. The bigger problem though is this was such a weak time for the company that outside of a few stories, it’s absolutely not worth watching.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Histories of Saturday Night’s Main Event and Clash of the Champions, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: March 20, 1995
Location: Memorial Civic Auditorium, Stockton, California
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jim Cornette

There are less than two weeks to go before Wrestlemania and that means it’s time to really crank up the football talk. Ignore the fact that it’s not the most exciting story in the world because there are CELEBRITIES involved and that makes up for any lack of interest, talent or care whatsoever. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Razor Ramon vs. Henry Godwinn

This is still during Henry’s heel push which went as far as the evil hog farmer character was going to take him. Razor starts in on the arm as we hear something about his contract issues. A wheelbarrow slam plants Razor and Cornette continues to amaze me by never being able to shut up. He goes from insulting Steve McMichael to talking about Ernie Ladd to hyping up the Tag Team Title match to doing color on this match in the span of two minutes.

Henry chokes on the ropes a bit and we hit the neck crank as Cornette goes on a mini rant about Jim Ross reporting on everything. We take a break and come back with Razor scoring with some right hands. A bad looking middle rope bulldog (more a cross body to the back) gets two on Henry but here’s the Roadie for a distraction. The 1-2-3 Kid comes out to kick Roadie in the face and for some reason Henry is distracted as well, allowing Razor to hit the Edge for the pin.

Rating: D. This was too long with Godwinn not being anything worth watching other than a big strong man and Razor being way off his game for some reason. The interference was a good call but Razor and the Kid were really getting tiresome at this point as they were almost glued together at the hip.

Post match Razor is ticked off at Backlund getting a title shot on some upcoming Sunday night special. Razor wants to know what happens if Backlund wins the title and goes to Wrestlemania to defend against Bret so he basically promises to interfere in the match.

Just in case you have no idea what’s going on here, we see Backlund signing the contract last week.

Also on that Sunday night show, Lex Luger will face Tatanka in a cage match.

Jim Cornette leaves commentary to get ready for the Tag Team Title match.

Fan Festival ad.

Lawrence Taylor says he’s scared of snakes and alligators but he doesn’t see those things in Bigelow.

Yesterday on Action Zone, Bigelow shoulder blocked Doink like a football player.

Steve McMichael replaces Cornette on commentary.

King Kong Bundy vs. Raven Clarke/Adam Croomes

Bundy slams the jobbers together and the camera keeps cutting to the announcers instead. This just keeps going for awhile and an Avalanche ends Croomes.

Post destruction, here’s Kama to get in a brawl with McMichael.

Wrestlemania Report with a few nothing interviews that fill in some time.

Tag Team Titles; Smoking Gunns vs. Heavenly Bodies

The Bodies (Jimmy Del Ray and Tom Prichard, basically another attempt to recreate the Midnight Express) are challenging and have Cornette in their corner, leaving Vince alone on commentary. Billy has bad ribs coming in but starts with Tom anyway. Cornette yells at Del Ray for some reason, leaving Tom to get chopped by Bart.

Back to Billy for an armbar before Bart elbows Del Ray in the jaw. We take a break and come back with Tom holding Bart in a front facelock. Billy accidentally distracts the referee to break up a tag as this match just keeps going. A double clothesline drops Bart as the fans are trying to find ANYTHING to care about in this thing. In case the match wasn’t boring enough yet, Prichard puts on a reverse chinlock.

Del Ray misses a top rope splash but we need a double clothesline before the hot tag can bring in Billy. A modified Sidewinder looks to finish Tom but Del Ray comes in off the top and puts…..no one into a cover for some reason. Billy grabs a backslide for the pin to retain the titles.

Rating: D+. Technically the match was certainly acceptable but there’s just no interest in watching these teams fight. Neither team has a personality between them and it was clearly just a Rock N Roll Express vs. Midnight Express knockoff without anything that made those matches work. Well, save for Cornette of course.

We see clips from a charity auction last night with Undertaker signing autographs. That’s always weird to see.

Vince and Cornette preview the Sunday Night Slam (Sunday special) to end the show.

Actually not quite as Tatanka is ready for Luger in a cage next week to really end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Really not much to this one either as we’re heading straight for Wrestlemania with every single boring story they can cram in there along the way. The long tag match at the end didn’t help things either as it really didn’t set up the title defense at Wrestlemania. To be fair though that would imply something is more important than the football match and that’s just not true. There was very little sarcasm in that last sentence if that wasn’t clear.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s WWE Grab Bag at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Summerslam 1993
Date: August 30, 1993
Location: Palace of Auburn Hills, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 23,954
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Bobby Heenan

A lot has changed in the last year. Bret won the WWF Title about three months after the last Summerslam but lost it at Wrestlemania to the monster Yokozuna. Yoko went on a path of destruction through the WWF over the summer, but it was WCW signee Lex Luger who stood up for the USA on the 4^th of July in a body slam challenge and is challenging for the title tonight. Hogan is gone, so America’s hopes rest on Luger. Let’s get to it.

We see Luger’s Lex Express bus arriving earlier today. Luger had gone around the country in a bus to get fan support for the match against Yokozuna. Why he didn’t stay in the WWF and win matches to get a title shot is beyond me.

Ted DiBiase vs. Razor Ramon

The match starts fast as DiBiase jumps Razor coming in. Razor comes back with a quick backdrop and a slam, sending DiBiase running to the floor. Back in and DiBiase takes it into the corner for some chops, only to be reversed on a whip and clotheslined out to the floor again. Razor pulls him back in but Ted chokes away on the top rope. I love basic heel moves like that. You never see those anymore because it’s all about attitude or whatever nonsense WWE tells you now.

Heenan makes jokes about the 1-2-3 Kid, who recently defeated Ramon and triggered his face turn. A clothesline gets two for DiBiase and it’s off to the chinlock. It’s clear that DiBiase is WAY past his prime here but his prime was so good that this is still totally watchable. Razor’s arms stay up on the third drop but DiBiase takes him back down with a swinging neckbreaker. Ted sends him to the floor and rips off a turnbuckle pad, only to be sent into it himself. The Razor’s Edge is good for the pin.

Rating: C-. Not much to see here but DiBiase was nothing more than a jobber to the stars by now anyway. This would actually be the last match in the WWF for DiBiase as he would do a quick run in Japan before retiring by the beginning of the year. The match wasn’t bad but it could have been the main event of any episode of Raw.

Todd Petingill interviews some of the Steiners’ relatives as we’re in their hometown. The sister calls Rick by his real name of Rob here.

Tag Titles: Steiner Brothers vs. Heavenly Bodies

Jim Cornette manages the challengers, who are Jimmy Del Ray and Tom Pritchard. This is part of the cross promotion with SMW. Heenan sings Cornette’s praises, which was how Cornette got over as a heel. He had debuted not long before this and Heenan immediately hugged him. Since Heenan was a heel and Cornette was a friend of his, Cornette was instantly hated. No shades of gray, no thought to it, just basic heel work. I miss stuff like that so much.

The Bodies jump the champions and send Scott out to the floor early on. A double flapjack puts Rick down and Scott is knocked back to the floor, but the Bodies spend too much time double teaming. All four are in now with the Steiners cleaning house to the delight of the crowd. I’m sure it has nothing to do with them wearing University of Michigan colors. A tilt-a-whirl slam (called a suplex by Vince) puts Del Ray down and the Steiners stand tall.

We officially start with Pritchard vs. Scott and Tom is slammed down in a BIG gorilla press. A backdrop puts Del Ray down and it’s off to Rick vs. Pritchard. Rick cleans house with Steiner Lines to send the challengers to the floor. Back in the and the Bodies finally start cheating, allowing Pritchard to hit an enziguri to send Scott to the floor, followed by a Del Ray moonsault press to wipe Scott out.

Back in and Del Ry hits a Rocky Maivia spinning DDT but doesn’t cover like the schnook that he is. Heenan has the match 1112-9 in favor of the Bodies. A powerslam gets two for Del Ray and Cornette jabs Scott in the throat with his tennis racket. Scott finally comes back with a belly to belly out of nowhere and makes the hot tag to Rick.

Everyone gets Steiner Lines (Heenan: “Mrs. Steiner just gave her daughter a Steiner Line!”) but the top rope bulldog only gets two on Del Ray thanks to a save. Cornette throws in the racket but a shot to Rick’s back is only good for two. Del Ray misses a moonsault and the Frankensteiner retains the belts.

Rating: C+. This was as by the book of a tag team match as you can get but it was still good stuff. I don’t think anyone cared about the Heavenly Bodies but that’s where a good manager like Cornette can come in handy: the fans are going to boo anyone he’s out there with, including a tag team who never did anything of note in the WWF.

A new interviewer named Joe Fowler (he didn’t last long) is with Shawn and Diesel, with the former saying he’s the best IC Champion ever. Diesel says he’s there to keep the chicks off the champ. Fowler wasn’t bad actually.

Intercontinental Title: Mr. Perfect vs. Shawn Michaels

Shawn is defending. This match was literally months in the making with the WWF basically saying “this is going to be the match of the year, guaranteed.” To continue the theme of things that just aren’t the same today, Perfect is trying to become the first three time IC Champion. We also have Radio WWF with JR and Gorilla Monsoon doing commentary. Wrestling used to be broadcast on the radio back in the day, with legendary sportscaster Bob Costas doing commentary at one point.

Shawn easily takes it down to start but Perfect snapmares him down as well. Perfect takes over with an armdrag and drives some knees into the arm. Shawn comes back with a headlock out of the corner but Perfect avoids an elbow and we have a stalemate. Some LOUD chops in the corner snap Shawn’s head back and a clothesline turns him inside out for two. Back to the armbar on the champion but Shawn escapes and goes up top, only to dive into an armdrag.

Perfect puts on another armbar before catapulting Shawn out to the floor in a great crash. Perfect goes to the floor but has to stare at Diesel, giving Shawn an opening for the yet to be named Sweet Chin Music. Shawn hits an ax handle of the apron to Perfect’s back before heading back inside to drop knees onto the back. A hard whip into the corner puts Perfect down again and Shawn drops down onto Perfect’s back.

Off to a backbreaker with Shawn bending Perfect’s back over Shawn’s knee. A stiff right hand gets Perfect out and a running dropkick puts Shawn down again. Perfect gets two off an atomic drop before countering a backslide into the PerfectPlex, only to have Diesel pull the leg for the save. Diesel gets punched in the face before both guys brawl on the floor. Shawn slides back in to distract the referee, allowing Diesel to post Perfect for the countout.

Rating: C. This was ok and nothing higher than that. The ending was lame and the match was a bunch of arm/back work with no heat segment or drama at all. It was a one off match that collapsed under the weight that the company put on it by saying it would be a classic and all that jazz. Not much to see here.

Perfect gets beaten down post match with Shawn claiming to be the best ever. Perfect gives chase and catches up with Shawn during an interview with Gene. The fight winds up being Perfect vs. Diesel in a match I don’t think ever happened, unless it was on some random Raw or Superstars.

1-2-3 Kid is nervous for his PPV debut.

I.R.S. vs. 1-2-3 Kid

The Kid is relatively new at this point, having shocked the world by beating Razor Ramon in May. He also beat IRS’ partner DiBiase recently so IRS is here for revenge and to stop the Kid’s lucky streak. The Kid is launched into the air and bounces off the mat for early control but he dropkicks IRS out of the air on a second attempt. Nice psychology there, but IRS knocks him to the floor a few seconds later.

Kid comes back in with a sunset flip for two but gets caught in an abdominal stretch to drag the match out even longer. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Kid takes him to the corner for some kicks and a moonsault press for two. A side roll gets two as Heenan is losing his mind. Kid dropkicks him down for two more, but IRS hits a flying clothesline for the pin out of nowhere.

Rating: D. What in the world was that? The Kid had been undefeated since May and you have him lose to a jobber to the stars in IRS? I don’t get the thinking here at all and it would continue to make little sense as the Kid would only lose one more singles match this year, and not again until next June. Yet he loses to IRS here? I don’t get it.

Owen and Bruce Hart say their dad is at home recovering from knee surgery but they’re here to support Bret.

Bret Hart vs. Jerry Lawler

This is the blowoff to a MAJOR feud which started at the King of the Ring. Bret won the tournament but Jerry attacked him during the coronation, saying he was the only real king in professional wrestling. Jerry comes to the ring on crutches with a big ice pack on his knee. He claims an injury from a car wreck (going into hilarious detail about a blue haired lady causing a ten car pileup) so Bret’s new opponent is the court jester.

Bret Hart vs. Doink the Clown

This is evil Doink, meaning he’s AWESOME. Doink comes out carrying two buckets, one of which contains confetti to throw at the fans. The other is full of water which is thrown on Bruce Hart in the old Harlem Globetrotters trick. Bret jumps Doink on the floor and we get things going inside. Doink is punched back to the floor before he can even get his jacket off before Hart sends him into the post. Heenan talks about how Lawler was in an 18 car pileup, crawled out of the car and into a school bus, saved 40 kids from the bus and bought them all hamburgers before coming to the arena tonight. Vince’s stunned reaction is great.

Doink gets in a shot and goes up, only to be crotched on the buckle. Heenan: “He’s been de-Doinked!” Bret offers Lawler a chance to come in before dropping Doink with an atomic drop. Another Lawler distraction lets Doink hit a knee to the back before sending Bret into the steps. Doink starts working on the leg and wraps it around the post with Lawler cheering him on.

The Clown puts on an STF and Heenan swears Bret gave up. Doink transitions into a lame chinlock before putting on a stump puller (you sit the other guy down and push his head down while pulling up on a leg) to stay on the leg and neck. Bret comes back with a right and the Five Moves of Doom. He hooks the Sharpshooter but Lawler runs into the ring and breaks the crutch over Bret’s back for the DQ.

Rating: C+. The match was your usual good Bret match when he had a good opponent to work against. Lawler pretending to be injured is the perfect action for him as he’s such a slimy coward most of the time. The Bret vs. Lawler feud had incredible heat to it as the fans wanted to see Lawler get beaten up…….and then there’s this.

President Jack Tunney stops Lawler in the aisle and says get in the ring right now.

Bret Hart vs. Jerry Lawler

Bret blasts him in the head with one of Doink’s buckets before the bell. They head inside and Bret immediately pounds Lawler down and gets in a crutch shot for good measure. Lawler gets in a crutch shot to the throat and chokes away as the referee (ECW’s Bill Alfonzo) is trying to restrain the Hart Brothers.

Bret gets crotched against the post, allowing Lawler to tell the referee to go yell at the Brothers again. The distraction lets Lawler get in more crutch shots in a classic simple heel move. He stops to tell the booing fans to shut up but Bret is ready to fight. Hart destroys Lawer and even throws in a piledriver before putting on the Sharpshooter for the academic submission. He won’t let go though and the decision is reversed.

Rating: B. The match itself isn’t much from an action standpoint, but the story was perfect (Bret wants revenge) and it’s a short form clinic on how to work a crowd from Lawler. Those subtle things like distracting the referee and sneaking in weapon shots and telling the crowd to shut up are so basic and easy but you NEVER see them today. Today’s writers need to watch some Lawler matches and they’ll learn how to have a crowd eating out of a heel’s hand in no time.

It takes about ten referees plus two Brothers to pull Bret off of Lawler. Bret is told that Lawler is the undisputed King so he goes after Jerry again as Lawler is put on a stretcher. Bruce Hart gets in some shots as well but Lawler is finally wheeled off, raising his arm in victory like the true villain he is.

Unfortunately we never got the planned blowoff to this feud as some 15 year old accused Lawler of rape (she admitted she made the whole thing up and Lawler was acquitted) so the Hart Brothers vs. Jerry and three hired goons at Survivor Series never happened. That’s a shame as the reaction for Lawler being destroyed by the whole family including Stu would have been a sight to behold.

Ludvig Borga is on the streets of Detroit to show us the country that Lex Luger wants to stand up for.

Bret and his brothers say Lawler deserves a broken leg.

Marty Jannetty vs. Ludvig Borga

Borga is basically the original Antonio Cesaro but from Finland. Marty fires away to start but gets punched in the corner by the former boxer. A hard clothesline puts Jannetty down before Borga throws him into the air for an uppercut (much like Cesaro). More punches in the corner have Jannetty in trouble and a clothesline stops his comeback dead. Borga blows his nose on Jannetty before putting on a bearhug. Marty escapes and makes a quick comeback with a pair of superkicks but gets caught in a powerslam and a torture rack for the submission.

Rating: D-. This was one of the lamer squashes I can remember in a long time. Borga looked slow and limited in the ring but the rack looked good. Other than that though, Borga came off as much more flash than substance. He would get better, but at the end of the day he never quite did anything in the company.

Giant Gonzalez vs. Undertaker

This is a Rest in Peace match, which means No DQ and No Countout, or a street fight as we would call it. Gonzalez has been tormenting Undertaker all year and lost to him via DQ at Wrestlemania. Gonzalez is a legit 7’7 and his manager Harvey Whippelman has stolen the Urn. Paul Bearer is absent for reasons that aren’t quite explained. The Giant pounds on Taker to start but Taker comes back with some clotheslines. A single elbow takes the Dead Man down and they head outside with the Giant in control.

Gonzalez hits some of the weakest chair shots you’ll ever see before whipping Taker knees first into the steps. Back in and Undertaker hits some uppercuts but keeps reaching for the Urn. Taker is still down when the gong rings and Paul Bearer makes his return with a black wreath. Whippelman goes after him and gets decked, allowing Paul to get the Urn back. The Giant stares down at him, Undertaker sits up, hits five clotheslines and a sixth frm the top for the pin. Seriously, that’s it.

Rating: G. As in I long for Great Khali. You often hear bad wrestlers said to be as bad as Giant Gonzalez and there’s a good reason for that: the guy is HORRIBLE. I understand the idea of the guy being huge and not needing to do much, but Gonzalez couldn’t do even the most basic stuff without screwing it up. Having seen a good deal of both, I can safely say that Gonzalez makes Great Khali look like Bret Hart.

Post match Harvey turns on Gonzalez and gets laid out.

Cornette says his men have been ripped off all night but that won’t happen when Lex Luger faces his Yokozuna. All those people Luger has seen over the country aren’t going to be able to help him now because it’s just Luger vs. Yokozuna, and the last thing Luger will hear is BANZAI!

Smoking Guns/Tatanka vs. Headshrinkers/Bam Bam Bigelow

Aren’t cowboys and Indians supposed to fight? The heels have Afa and Luna Vachon with them. The Samoans run over the Guns to start and we have Bigelow vs. Tatanka to get us going. Tatanka fires off a shoulder block and a dropkick followed by an impressive backdrop. Both guys try cross bodies and Tatanka actually gets the better of it. For a gimmick wrestler Tatanka had some good success around this time.

A double tag brings in Billy vs. Fatu (Rikishi) with the Samoan hitting a quick superkick. Billy comes back with a top rope clothesline as Vince tells us Billy went to college on a rodeo scholarship. That actually exists? Another superkick from Samu knocks Billy into the tag to Bart who is slammed face first into the mat for his troubles. Bigelow comes in with a dropkick for two before it’s back to Fatu for a wicked powerslam. The Samoans take turns double teaming Bart with headbutts and chops as the heat segment goes on for a good while.

Bigelow misses a charge and hits the post, allowing Bart to make the hot tag off to Tatanka. The Indian chops every heel in sight and takes Bigelow down with a DDT and a high cross body for two. Tatanka goes on the war path but walks into an enziguri from Bam Bam. Sometimes there’s no better solution than to kick a guy in the head. Everything breaks down and Tatanka is left all alone against the three monsters. A TRIPLE HEADBUTT puts Tatanka down and all three go up for a triple flying headbutt, but Tatanka rolls away and rolls up Samu for the pin.

Rating: B-. Where in the world did this come from??? This was a shockingly good tag match with everyone moving fast and some great looking spots from Bigelow. Tatanka was one of those guys that the fans just liked and there’s no way you can fake that. Good stuff here and a very nice surprise.

To fill in time, we talk to Luger’s bus driver. The guy is so valuable he gets to sit in the bus and watch the show on a monitor. He talks about how great Luger is and how he visited a bunch of kids.

Pettingill asks some fans who they like in the main event and the answer is obvious.

Some guy sings the Japanese national anthem.

Randy Savage is master of ceremonies for the main event and comes out with some country singer who sings the American national anthem.

WWF Title: Lex Luger vs. Yokozuna

Remember, this is Luger’s ONE title shot. It’s a long staredown to start before Lex has to knock Mr. Fuji down. Lex starts pounding away but a single shot from the champion puts him down. Luger comes back with more right hands and down goes Yoko. A big elbow drop gets two for Luger and he avoid one from Yoko. Luger hits a running clothesline in the corner before pounding away on the champion’s head in the corner. Yoko will have none of that though and takes Luger down with a single chop.

Luger gets in some right hands but can’t slam Yoko again. Instead he gets kicked in the face and knocked to the floor with some headbutts. Out to the floor they go with Yoko choking Luger with a mic cord. A splash crushes Luger against the post but Yoko misses a chair shot. They head back inside where Luger hits two ax handle shots off the top and middle rope before a top rope forearm gets a very close two count.

A double clothesline puts both guys down and things slow down even more. Fuji throws in his bucket which Yoko uses to knock Luger out cold but only for two. A big belly to belly suplex and side slam get the same results as the champion is getting frustrated. Off to a nerve hold by the champion which eats up several minutes.

Luger fights up again but gets clotheslined down for two. To show you how impressive he is, Heenan actually compliments Luger. I don’t think I ever remember him cheering for a good guy before. Yokozuna loads up the Banzai Drop but Luger rolls away at the last minute. They fight into the corner again but Yoko misses a charge. Luger slams him down and hits the loaded forearm, knocking the champion out to the floor. Unfortunately for Luger, he also knocked Yokozuna out cold, earning Luger a countout win.

Rating: D+. This was long and slow without being very good. Luger got good reactions though, especially for the slam. It was clear that his character was nothing but warmed over Hogan leftovers but at least the fans hadn’t entirely realized that yet. This wasn’t a terrible match, but it certainly was nothing of note either. The ending wasn’t great but it was necessary to continue the story being told.

Luger celebrates with his friends to end the show despite not winning the title. We even get a music video of his push, which would be WAY more effective if Luger had, you know, WON THE FREAKING TITLE. Heenan: “This was his ONE shot!” Vince: “Don’t worry he’ll get another one!” Heaven forbid we pay attention to storylines that PPVs are built around.

Overall Rating: C+. With a Luger title win, this would have been a very solid show. There are some bad matches on here but the majority of the show works amazingly well with Bret vs. Lawler and the six man being highlights. Much like last year it’s a show where the overall show is better than its individual parts which made for a good show. Why Luger didn’t go over here continues to elude me.

Ratings Comparison

Razor Ramon vs. Ted DiBiase

Original: C-

Redo: C-

Steiner Brothers vs. Heavenly Bodies

Original: B-

Redo: C+

Shawn Michaels vs. Mr. Perfect

Original: B-

Redo: C

1-2-3 Kid vs. I.R.S.

Original: F

Redo: D

Bret Hart vs. Doink the Clown

Original: B

Redo: C+

Bret Hart vs. Jerry Lawler

Original: B+

Redo: B

Marty Jannetty vs. Ludvig Borga

Original: D+

Redo: D-

Undertaker vs. Giant Gonzalez

Original: C+

Redo: G (As in I long for Great Khali)

Tatanka/Smoking Gunns vs. Bam Bam Bigelow/Headshrinkers

Original: F+

Redo: B-

Yokozuna vs. Lex Luger

Original: B-

Redo: D+

Overall Rating

Original: D+

Redo: C+

……I had no idea what I was doing back then did I?

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/07/27/history-of-summerslam-count-up-1993-i-still-dont-get-the-ending/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and check out my author page at Amazon with wrestling books as low as $4 at:

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s WWE Grab Bag at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01IH7O904

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Reality of Wrestling Episode 75
Date: September 13, 2015
Location: Clear Lake Recreation Sports Center, Clear Lake, Texas
Commentators: Matt Topolski, Brad Gilmore

You might have heard of this company before but I’ve never actually seen anything from them. This is Booker T.’s promotion which was previously known as the Pro Wrestling Alliance. They’ve actually been around for ten years now and I’m going into this one totally blind. Let’s get to it.

One more note: I’m not sure of the date this aired but it’s the date the show was uploaded to the promotion’s Youtube channel.

The opening sequence isn’t bad as this looks like a pretty well run place. I’ve seen FAR worse and the production values aren’t bad at all.

The announcers preview the show and call the promotion the Row (as in Row, Row, Row Your Boat).

Steele vs. Evan Snow

Steele is a good sized guy in something like a silver Vader mask. Snow is the hero and a hip hop guy. I’m guessing this is second generation Al Snow vs. George Steele. Snow speeds things up to start and gets two off a dropkick and cross body. We hit a chinlock on the heel which certainly isn’t something you often see.

Back up and Steele takes his head off with a clothesline and a HHH style spinebuster. Some knees to the head get two on Evan and we hit the chinlock. Snow fights up and nails a quick elbow for two but gets caught on top for a superplex. That’s fine with Snow as he shoves Steele down and drops a top rope leg for the pin.

Rating: C. Yeah this was fine with a basic story of power vs. speed, which has worked for the better part of ever and is going to keep working no matter how much wrestling tries to over complicate things. Snow was a simple gimmick but he was fine out there with some good charisma against a run of the mill monster (nothing wrong with that).

Bryan Keith, a cowboy, is polishing his belt and says last week’s bounty was one of his toughest. Apparently GM Sharmell has put a series of bounties on his head and he welcomes all comers.

A monster named Cedric (seriously?) gets yelled at for letting down Legion (sounds like a heel stable). The guy doing the yelling (who looks like Jimmy Jacobs) slaps Cedric and laughs.

Diamonds Title: Miranda vs. Athena

This is the Women’s Title and it’s vacant coming in. Athena is billed from Dallas/Chicago and gets run over before nipping up into a headscissors for a sweet comeback. Miranda snapmares her down again before kicking Athena square in the back. I think Miranda is the heel here but it’s not clear. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Athena hits a nice springboard cross body for two more. A bad looking spear gives Miranda the same but Athena sends her to the floor for a suicide dive. Both of them are down so here’s another woman named Ivory (not that Ivory) to attack Athena, drawing a DQ.

Rating: C+. This worked as well with Athena looking more polished, though I’m not sure Miranda really had a chance to showcase much. She didn’t really have much to make her stand out, whereas Athena was flying all over the place. It may not have been the best executed stuff but it was certainly exciting. Miranda doesn’t have the size or power to make a spear work, though that’s never stopped a bunch of wrestlers.

Post match Ivory says she wants a title shot. The match was billed as a no contest, which is nonsense as Ivory didn’t touch Miranda.

We see a clip of a previous match between Aiden Cristiano and Gino who seem to be former partners or mentor/mentee. Gino won with a rollup to shock his manager Rayna, who seems to have left Cristiano for him. Gino looks to be about 12 years old, albeit tall. The two of them bragged after the match but I could barely understand a word of it due to background noise. You can tell Gino is a heel as he speaks in the third person.

Parviz vs. Erik Lockhart

Parviz is another monster with a guy named X in his corner. Lockhart used to be part of a tag team with his brother but they split for unknown reasons. Erik tries an early triangle choke but gets powerbombed into the corner. A powerslam puts Erik down again and Parvis pulls down the straps to let Lockhart get in some open chops. Parvis’ chokeslam is countered into a DDT but here’s Andrew Lockhart (Erik’s brother of course) to pose on the stage so paparazzi can photograph him to distract Erik, allowing Parvis to grab the chokeslam for the fast pin.

Athena swears revenge on Ivory. Again, she could use some coaching but the core stuff is there. A little research says that the more coaching will come in NXT, where she signed two days before this aired. Good for her.

Erik Lockhart has an edited interview where he talks about how he might have to slap some sense into his brother but he’s just not sure.

Someone named Mysterious Q will break his silence next week.

The announcers debate Andrew Lockhart’s change of attitude. Gilmore: “I saw him in a People Magazine when I was at the grocery store.” Toploski: “What grocery stores do you shop at?”

Tag Team Titles: Heavenly Bodies vs. Pump Patrol

The Patrol (a pair of exercise enthusiasts named Jared Wayne and Curt Matthews) is challenging. One note here: Evan Snow was billed from Hip Hop, USA. The Patrol is from Pump City, USA. They need to come up with something more original as you shouldn’t be repeating an idea that soon. The announcers argue over whether someone named Jackson is the GM or not with Sharmell being brought up as the real GM. Power struggles even happen down in the minors.

Curt and Justin (no last name given) start things off with Justin missing an elbow, allowing Curt to do some pushups. The other Heavenly Body comes in and gets clotheslined in the corner as the announcers are promising a Flexorcism. Ok then.  A double elbow from the Patrol sends both champions (seriously, TELL US THEIR NAMES) to the floor, followed by Wayne with a flipping double clothesline.

Back in and a snapmare into a legdrop gets two on Dustin (thank you). The champions take over for a few seconds but Jared blocks Curt from hitting the corner off a whip. A double Stun Gun gets two on Curt and Justin makes it serious by stealing Curt’s headband. Dustin comes in for a leg lariat (clearly made no contact) and a blind tag keeps Curt in trouble. The referee misses the hot tag and the Bodies get in some double stomping.

Curt kicks out of a top rope splash and finally rolls away from both champs (The referee didn’t mind them both being in there because he’s a nice guy. Or incompetent.) for the hot tag to Jared. Everything breaks down and the Flexorcism (Codebreaker into a full nelson slam. I do like the move name) gets two with Dustin making the save. Jared charges at Dustin but gets caught in the Pearly Gates (A wheelbarrow slam into a cutter. Again, good name and a good move.) for the pin.

Rating: C-. I wasn’t feeling this one for the most part as both teams are screaming indy level teams. It’s not a bad match or anything but neither of them made me care about the match. There was no real story and the Patrol’s gimmick didn’t do much for me. The Bodies are as generic as you can get and it showed badly in the match. That’s a good finisher though.

Overall Rating: C. Totally watchable show here with more than enough good action and stories going around to keep my interest. Nothing really stands out (save for Athena who was already signed up by WWE at this point) but it’s a great way to have the people get ring time, which is the most important thing when you’re at this level.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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The next to last entry is one of the most influential tag teams of all time: the Rock and Roll Express.

The Express (Ricky Morton and Robert Gibson) got started in Memphis in 1983 and got into a huge feud with Lanny Poffo and Randy Savage, who had started an outlaw promotion based out of Lexington, Kentucky and were then brought in to Memphis for a HUGE feud. Here they are on June 25, 1984.

Randy Savage/Lanny Poffo vs. Rock and Roll Express

Gibson and Savage get things going and it’s clear that this is going to be white hot. They trade headlocks until Gibson grabs an armdrag and makes the tag. Morton hiptosses Randy as Poffo comes in for a failed save attempt, sending the brothers out to the floor. We settle down with Poffo flipping head first over the top to face Morton. Poffo tries flipping again but starts jawing with Gibson, allowing Morton to get behind him for a trip, sending the Poffos outside again.

Back in and we get a crisscross but Morton makes a blind tag, allowing Gibson to drop toehold Poffo down. Randy gets knocked off the apron and the fans are getting louder and louder. It’s amazing how precise the Express really is. They start working on Lanny’s leg and even get in a shot on Savage for a nice touch. It’s back to Savage who has to yell at the fans before he gets in.

We hit the stalling again to fulfill the Memphis requirements. Robert finally misses a charge into the corner and Lanny stomps away to take over. Gibson will have none of that though and slides over for a tag so Morton can beat up both brothers. Everything breaks down and the Poffo patriarch Angelo sends Morton into the post to really take over.

Back in and Lanny misses a dropkick in the corner but Savage is right there with a top rope ax handle to keep the Express in trouble. He misses a middle rope elbow (still refining the idea I guess) but Ricky is busted BAD. Ricky Morton starts playing Ricky Morton but avoids a Swanton (in 19 freaking 84!) from Lanny, allowing the hot tag to Gibson. A quick backdrop sends Gibson over the top though and that’s a DQ back in these days.

Rating: B+. This is what a white hot crowd can do for you. The action is hot and fast but the crowd carried it on beyond whatever they were going to be able to do on their own. Poffo and Savage were white hot as heels and they were in there with the biggest face tag team of all time at that point. What more could you possibly ask for?

I don’t usually do this but I have to mention the post match brawl with Savage piledriving Morton through the announcers’ table. In today’s product, this would be the equivalent of Pillmanizing a guy’s neck. Morton was out for the better part of ever and the fans just went SILENT. That was a huge spot in Memphis and one of the more famous moments ever for the Express.

It was off to the NWA soon after this and we’ll start at Starrcade 1985.

World Tag Titles: Rock N Roll Express vs. Ivan Koloff/Nikita Koloff

The Rock N Roll Express are two pretty boys named Ricky Morton and Robert Gibson who could fly around a ring as well as any pair of guys you’re ever going to be lucky enough to see. They’re also challenging here and this is in a cage. I believe you win by pin or submission only. Ricky and Nikita start things off and the fans are already chanting USA. Ricky, a far smaller man, is shoved down by the more powerful Nikita. Morton fires off a quick dropkick and we’re at a standoff.

Nikita pounds Morton down and kicks him in the ribs before bring in Ivan. Ricky starts speeding things up by flying around and hitting a quick cross body. Ivan crotches him on the top rope and it’s time for Morton to play Ricky Morton. For those of you unfamiliar, Morton was so good at being beaten down and making a comeback that the beatdown leading to the hot tag is called Playing Ricky Morton.

Actually scratch that as Robert comes in for a quick rollup and a double chop to the head gets two on Ivan. Robert sends him head first into the cage and Morton does the same. The Express starts doing their double teaming jazz as is their custom. It’s off to Nikita though and there’s the bearhug on Robert. Nikita rams him into the cage back first and does the same with Robert’s head for good measure.

Back to Ivan who is busted open as well. Robert is sent into the cage yet again and an elbow drop gets two for Ivan. Off to Nikita for some biting to the head before Ivan comes in for some slow power offense. Robert rolls away from a legdrop but Nikita comes in for a chinlock. Gibson is busted open as well, which seems to be a requirement tonight.

A kick to the back keeps Gibson down and Ivan gets two. Back to Nikita for some more choking but Ricky makes the save. Don Kernoodle, the Express’ second, starts a USA chant as the referee is knocked down. He can’t make the count on Robert but as he gets back up, Ricky makes a blind tag and rolls up Ivan for the pin and the titles out of nowhere.

Rating: B. Good old fashioned tag match here with the Express getting destroyed until the very end where they won on a pure fluke. The fans were WAY into the Express at this point and Morton would even get a program with Ric Flair. The Russians were a great old school tag team idea with both guys looking like monsters and acting like it as well. Also this was nice to see a change in the usual Express formula with Gibson getting beaten down instead of Morton.

If you’re any kind of a wrestling fan, you’ve heard of the feud between the Rock and Roll Express and the Midnight Express. This is one of the greatest combinations of all time and you could count on them having a great match every time. There they are on a special called Superstars on the Superstation on February 7, 1986.

World Tag Team Titles: Rock N Roll Express vs. Midnight Express

If this is anything lower than a B+, it’s a failure for these guys. These teams completely revolutionized tag team wrestling and basically invented the tag team formula you see in every major tag match. This is the less famous version of the Midnights with Bobby Eaton and Dennis Condrey as the challengers. It’s a brawl to start with the Midnights taking over on Gibson but Morton comes back in to take everything to the floor. The fans are NUTS for the Rock N Roll here.

Back in and the champions quickly clean house, sending the Midnights out for a consultation with Jim Cornette. We finally start with Gibson vs. Eaton as things slow down a bit. Gibson blocks a hiptoss and throws Eaton down before hitting a sweet flying headscissors. Off to Morton who punches both Midnights down and works on Bobby’s leg. They head back to the floor with Morton backdropping Eaton onto the concrete before pounding him against the barricade.

Back in and it’s a double tag off to Gibson vs. Condrey. The Rock N Roll takes over on Dennis’ leg with some slingshot splashes and elbows onto the knee for two. Gibson cranks on the leg before Morton comes in, decks Eaton, and cranks on Condrey’s leg as well. Condrey fights up and hits a knee to Ricky’s ribs but hurts his own leg so bad that he hits the mat. I miss selling like that in today’s product.

The champions take turns working on the leg with Ricky coming in off the top with a knee drop on Condrey’s leg. Dennis finally gets over to Eaton without too much resistance and we’re back to even for a bit. Eaton takes him into the corner for some HARD right hands, only to be taken down by a suplex. Back to Gibson whose dropkick is caught in a catapult, sending him face first into a forearm from Condrey. Dennis comes back in as we take a break.

Back with Eaton holding Gibson in a chinlock before it’s off to Condrey for the same hold. Morton gets drawn into the ring, allowing Eaton to drop a top rope knee to Gibson before Condrey puts on the chinlock again. Gibson finally fights up with a knee lift but Condrey rakes the eyes to stop a tag. Back to Eaton who gets two off a neckbreaker and puts on another chinlock.

Robert fights up and gets a quick two off a sunset flip but Condrey punches him back down. The Midnights miss the Rocket Launcher and there’s the hot tag off to Ricky. Everything breaks down and the double dropkick (Rock N Roll’s finisher) hits Eaton but it takes the referee out as well. Cornette brings in the tennis racket and Condrey BLASTS Morton in the back of the head, giving Eaton the pin and the titles. Keep in mind that this is 1986 when titles NEVER changed hands on TV.

Rating: B+. Yeah it’s still awesome. These guys just know how to work together and the crowd was way into this. The matches would get even better when Stan Lane replaced Condrey which says a lot given how good these guys looked here. Solid match here, which is all you would have expected coming in.

Here they are at Starrcade 1986 against another great tag team.

World Tag Titles: Arn Anderson/Ole Anderson vs. Rock N Roll Express

The Express is defending and this is inside a cage. You win by pinfall here and have to tag in and out so it’s Robert Gibson vs. Ole to start, but everything breaks down in just a few seconds. Arn winds up in there with Robert and Gibson rams his head into the cage a few times to send Arn over for a tag. Off to Ricky vs. Ole but Ole gets kicked in the face, sending it back to Arn.

Things slow down a bit with Arn being afraid to go after Ricky again. Morton grabs the arm and it’s off to Robert for some arm work. He misses a running knee in the corner though and Arn goes after the leg. Ole comes in to cannonball down onto the leg before it’s back to Arn. Robert kicks him into the cage to counter a figure four, but Ole breaks up the hot tag to Ricky.

Back to Arn again as the leg work continues. It’s odd to see the Andersons working on a leg instead of an arm but it’s a limb nonetheless. Robert FINALLY hits an enziguri for the hot tag off to Morton, but Ole immediately sends him into the cage to stop him cold. Now we get to the arm work and things instantly feel better. Arn comes in to stomp Morton down and it’s back to Ole to whip Ricky shoulder first into the corner.

Off to an armbar as Ricky appears to be busted open. There’s the hammerlock slam from Arn but he makes the eternal mistake of going up top. Much like Flair, Arn has almost never been able to hit his shot off the top and it’s the same here. Morton punches him on the way down but Ole breaks up the tag yet again. A shoulder breaker gets two and Arn wraps the bar arm around the top rope. Ricky comes back with a clothesline and both guys are down.

Ole gets the tag and kicks Ricky in the arm to keep him down as the torment continues. Off to another armbar but Ricky gets in a shot to the ribs and several the head to come back. Arn takes Morton down yet again to prevent a tag before hitting the yet to be named spinebuster for two. Ole comes off the top for a knee into the arm and cranks on another armbar. Ricky is in big trouble here.

Back up and Ole collides with Ricky while running the ropes to put both guys down. Arn breaks up the tag (I’m having deja vu from typing that so many times) but Ricky headbutts him down and…..gets jumped by Ole. Out of nowhere Ricky grabs a small package for two as everything breaks down. Ole picks up Ricky for a slam but Robert dropkicks Ricky’s back and knocks him down onto Ole for the pin to retain out of nowhere.

Rating: B+. I really liked the curve ball they threw us in here by not having the hot tag which the standard tag team formula would suggest there would be. This was Playing Ricky Morton as I mentioned in last year’s show and it was done to perfection. He could take a beating like no one else could and the fans totally bought into it every time. Really good old school tag team match here.

From the 4^th of July on the Great American Bash tour in 1987.

World Tag Titles/US Tag Titles: Midnight Express vs. Rock and Roll Express

This match happened twice on the tour and I think this is in Atlanta. The Rock N Roll Express are the world tag champions and the Midnights are the US Champions and it’s title for title. Gibson vs. Eaton to start us off and there’s no Cornette here which is REALLY weird to see. Off to Stan Lane who doesn’t have much luck either. He gets sent to the floor and now it’s off to Morton.

A Japanese armdrag gets one for Ricky. Lane makes a tag and Eaton can’t get anything going either. This has been all Rock N Roll so far. Back to Morton who gets into a test of strength. I love seeing that from smaller guys. Ricky literally climbs up onto Eaton’s shoulders and drops over the back. I’m not sure what the point of that was but it looks cool.

Sweet rana gets two for Morton and it’s back to Gibson. A rana misses there and Lane cheats to save Eaton so that the Midnights can take over. I’m not sure what to make of Gibson being the one beaten down but it’s certainly happening. The Midnights beat down Gibson as only the Midnights can do even though they never really do since it’s always Morton getting beaten down but who cares. Hot tag brings in Morton (that may never be said again) and house is cleaned. A double dropkick gets two on Lane and everything breaks down. Bubba comes in with a Bubba Slam and it’s a DQ.

Rating: B-. This is one of those matches that is always good and this is no exception. They know how to have great tag matches and this is something that you flat out did not see back in the day. The Rockers claim to have introduced this style but if they did then they never watched the NWA because these guys were doing it years before that. Good match, bad ending.

Let’s throw in a gimmick at Starrcade 1987.

Rock N Roll Express vs. Midnight Express

This is another Skywalkers (scaffold) match which is an odd choice for these guys. These two teams redefined tag team wrestling with their incredible series of matches, so the company decides to put them in a match with no wrestling involved in it at all? The Midnights are the now Bobby Eaton and Stan Lane and they’re the US Tag Team Champions but this is non-title. They also have Cornette and Bubba with them.

Both teams are skeptical to go up but after over a minute and a half of waiting, everyone goes up top. Actually scratch that as Bubba pulls Morton down as he’s climbing and spikes him down onto the mat to give the Midnights a two on one advantage. Bubba tries to climb up as well but Morton gets up and steals Cornette’s tennis racket. A few shots to the back keeps Bubba down and Morton climbs up, still holding the racket. Eaton gets whacked a few times as well as the fighting really gets going.

Morton knocks Eaton around with the racket as Gibson pounds on Lane on the other end of the scaffold. Eaton busts out his trusty powder to blind Ricky and now Gibson is double teamed. Ricky gets the tennis racket back to stagger Bobby with as all four guys head back to the ends of the scaffold. Eaton drops the racket to the mat as Lane climbs under the scaffold.

Cornette throws the racket up to Eaton again so he can pound on Robert’s back. Morton heads under the scaffold to get at Stan, eventually kicking him down to the mat. Eaton and Gibson are up top still though until Ricky goes up too. The Rock N Roll finally knocks him down over the edge and down to the mat for the win. I know the ending sounds sudden but there really isn’t much else to it than that.

Rating: D+. Just like last year, what can you really expect from a match like this? They can’t do much without risking a very serious injury but you don’t want the fans to be bored out of their minds either. These guys had some of the best tag team matches ever when they were on the ground floor and I have no idea why they were given this gimmick of all things.

The Express would head to the AWA for a little while, including this match at SuperClash III.

Jimmy Golden/Robert Fuller vs. Rock N Roll Express

CWA vs. AWA here I think. Golden is Bunkhouse Buck and Fuller is Colonel Robert Parker. Why in the world this is going on last is beyond me. There’s a different announcer here too for some reason. I really didn’t want to see Parker in trunks. Golden and Morton start us off. Technical stuff to start and the Express clean the ring out quickly. Back to the starters as the crowd is gone after the real main event.

They fight over a front chancery as the fans chant boring. Morton gets a nice counter into a suplex kind of move as we get heel miscommunication. Off to Fuller and Gibson for a crisscross. It’s pretty clear Fuller isn’t the most sound wrestler in the world. Oddly enough Gibson is portraying Morton here and Golden throws on a bearhug. Double team abdominal stretch goes on after some cheating by the not Express’ manager. Hot tag brings in Morton to clean house and the double dropkick takes down Golden. We go to the floor and it’s thrown out.

Rating: C-. Just a tag match here with a bad ending. I have no idea what the point of having this on here to end the show was, especially when it’s just another match. Golden and Fuller were nothing of note and would be in WCW a few years later. The Express would go on to the indies forever and have some more time in WCW.

Back to WCW with this match at WrestleWar 1990.

Rock N Roll Express vs. Midnight Express

This is another one of those matches where the starting rating rises up from a C to a B. These guys feuded for probably 6 years on and off and had more classics than you could shake a stick at. Why you would want to shake a stick at it is beyond me but you get the idea. Gibson vs. Stan gets us going. Lane dives to the mat and they counter each other a lot. Gibson counters a counter and drops a fist onto Lane’s head to take over.

Cornette gets in an argument with Nick Patrick and wants to box him. This is an old spot they did which always gets a big reaction. Cornette is dispatched quickly and it’s Morton vs. Lane now. The fans are into this too. Bobby gets knocked to the floor and Lane shoves him down as well. We never got a big singles match between those two and I think that’s for the best.

Lane vs. Bobby now and they speed things up. Nothing seems to be coming out of the shove from a few moments ago. Off to a test of strength and Morton is losing. He climbs up Bobby, stands on his shoulders, and jumps onto Lane in the corner. Gibson runs off Lane and the Midnights are knocked to the floor. Cornette tries to get in and falls over the top rope so Gibson knocks back down. Both Midnights are double clotheslined to the floor as well and it’s been one sided for about the first eight minutes.

Back in now and it’s Gibson vs. Lane but Lane still can’t get anything going. Morton comes in for a double elbow but gets sent outside. Never mind again as Lane goes into the post. Now it’s Eaton again and it’s a slugout. Terry gets into this and they both tumble to the floor. Outside Lane slams Morton and the Midnights take over.

Now we get into a much more traditional tag match which was popularized if not perfected by these teams, making this a fun match. Morton is sent to the floor and rammed into various metal objects. He manages a sunset flip but Cornette grabs the referee. Morton tries an O’Connor Roll but Lane makes a blind tag and hooks a neckbreaker for two. Eaton goes after the arm with a single arm DDT and into a hammerlock.

Lane comes in for a quick reverse chinlock before bringing in Eaton for a top rope elbow. Back to the arm by Lane. Man the Midnights tag in fast. Eaton works on the arm again with the hammerlock and the Midnights set for the Rocket Launcher. It hits the knees though and here’s Gibson. Everything breaks down but he’s still 2-1. The Midnights load up the Flapjack but Gibson rolls through for the pin on Lane.

Rating: B+. Oh come on it’s the Midnights vs. Rock N Roll. There’s practically no way that this can be screwed up. It’s a great speed match and they know each other so well that they’re going to have a good match through familiarity if nothing else. Fun stuff here but somehow not their best work together.

Time for a change of pace at Capital Combat in June 1990.

Rock N Roll Express vs. Freebirds

The Freebirds are Garvin and Hayes here and this is a Corporal Punishment match, which means a strap match. They can beat on each other with them or whatever they like but aren’t attached. We get Badstreet USA so this is already a success. The Birds get pyro which was a rare thing back then. I love how in recapping the night, Ross talks about Robocop and Sting and the US Tag Title match in the same manner, as if they were the same amount of time.

The straps are attached to the ring posts. Why? No reason is given but whatever. We finally get to the straps as the Express are dominating. Ross of course talks about the woodshed. That’s some weird obsession he has. This is kind of disjointed as it’s a segment and then a whipping and then we repeat. We get a whip duel between Gibson and Hayes which is kind of cool.

Ross says one of his favorite teams is the Steiners. Not sure what that has to do with this match but whatever. The heels take over and Ricky Morton plays Ricky Morton. Playing Ricky Morton means getting the living tar pounded out of you for a LONG time before making the hot tag. It was designed and more or less invented in the Express vs. Express matches and has been a staple of tag team wrestling ever since.

If you ever hear of someone playing Ricky Morton, it’s a guy in a tag match, 99% of the time a face, being beaten down really badly. The straps are kind of awesome actually as at least they make a really loud sound so you can tell it’s painful. That’s better than nothing at least. Garvin goes up and that completely fails which you would think would set up the hot tag to Gibson.

Nope not yet which isn’t incredibly surprising. In a nice idea, Morton goes to the wrong corner. That’s not bad at all. There’s your hot tag to not a ton of heat actually. Ross calls it The Sleep again. That’s just weird to hear. It really is. Hayes gets his DDT but doesn’t cover. This allows Morton, the illegal man, to come off the top with a sunset flip for the pin. Nice ending.

Rating: B. Not as good as the previous one, but then again the Freebirds aren’t as good as Zenk and Pillman in the ring. This came off fine although the straps weren’t used as much as I would have liked them to but I can live with that. This was fine for what it was though and was a very good use of nearly twenty minutes. The Express was past its prime at this point, but they still make fine tag matches. The ending made up for a weaker match here, which is fine as it’s the last thing you see.

We’ll go back to the guaranteed layup at Clash of the Champions XI.

US Tag Team Titles: Rock N Roll Express vs. Midnight Express

The Midnights are defending as this legendary feud continues. Both teams get quick promos saying they’ll win with an identical train in the background. The image is inverted for the Midnights though, meaning they’re from the other side of the tracks. It’s probably unintentional but it’s a nice touch if it was on purpose. Eaton and Gibson get things going as the announcers emphasize how even these teams are.

The fans chant for the Rock and Roll and Gibson takes over with a hiptoss and flying headscissors. Lane comes in off the tag and scores with a few kicks, only to be taken down by an enziguri from Gibson. Off to Morton as they run the ropes to speed things up. Lane misses a charge in the corner and gets backdropped down, leaving us at a stalemate. Back to Eaton who walks into a dropkick and hurricanrana, sending him into the corner for some consultation with Cornette and Lane.

Stan comes in again but gets caught in a Gibson armbar. Gibson sends him into the corner before it’s back to Morton for an armbar. Morton rolls Stan up in the corner for two as everything breaks down. Ricky is sent to the floor and Gibson gets caught in a double flapjack to give the champions their first control. It only lasts a few seconds though as Morton comes back in for a double rollup to change momentum right back.

Things settle down and Bobby goes up to pull Morton down by the hair. The Midnights double team for a few seconds but Ricky quickly runs over and makes the tag off to Gibson. Everything breaks down again and it’s Robert working on Stan’s leg in the ring. Lane kicks away though and the Rock N Roll collide, allowing Bobby to come off the top with an ax handle to give Stan two. The double dropkick drops Eaton but Lane pulls the referee out for the DQ.

Rating: C+. This was picking up in a hurry near the ending but the first part of it didn’t do much. They needed about five more minutes here to really get something going but those are the perils of televised wrestling. It’s almost impossible to screw up this match though and that’s a valuable asset to have on a card.

Here they are against a different kind of team at the Great American Bash 1990.

Tag Titles: Rock N Roll Express vs. Doom

This is more or less the final run for the RNR and they’re challenging here. Simmons vs. Gibson starts us off. JR talks about Gibson signing in the ring, as in sign language. Gibson speeds things up and gets a rollup for one, which makes Simmons tag in Reed. An elbow puts Butch back into the corner and here’s Ricky. Reed knocks Morton down so the Express double teams him down.

The idea of the match here is very simple: when the Express can double team they win, but when it’s one on one they don’t have much luck. Reed knocks both of them to the floor but it’s Gibson taking the worst of it. Back in a sunset flip gets two for Robert as does a slam for Reed. Morton comes in to speed things up and gets two with an O’Connor Roll on Butch. They speed the clock up to say that it’s been ten minutes.

Reed works over Morton with pure power and brings in Simmons. Morton gets a dropkick but Reed comes in to keep things at the status quo. Reed comes in and slows things back down again, which makes perfect sense for Doom. Gibson has had enough and comes in for some cheating but it doesn’t do enough to get him in legally. Back to Simmons as Morton takes a beating like only Ricky Morton can do.

Reed gets two off a big right hand and it’s time for more chinlocking. Doom does their cheating by throwing Morton over the top while the other has the referee distracted. Shoulder block gets two for Ron. Morton slugs it out with Reed which goes horribly and results in a powerslam for two. Morton ducks another shoulder and there’s the hot tag to Gibson. He cleans house and a sunset flip gets no count on Ron as everything breaks down. An enziguri sends Ron into Teddy to bring him inside. Gibson beats him up which is enough of a distraction for Reed to come off the top and kill Gibson with a shoulder to retain.

Rating: B. Doom was awesome at this point and would soon turn face and fight the Horsemen, causing some AWESOME fights. The Express never really went anywhere after this other than to the indies and other companies. Great match though in the traditional formula that the Express perfected long ago.

The team would head to Smoky Mountain Wrestling for a long time and wound up appearing in the main two companies on some co-promotional deals. Here they are at SuperBrawl III.

Smokey Mountain Tag Titles: Rock N Roll Express vs. Heavenly Bodies

The Bodies are Stan Lane and Tom Pritchard, which makes little sense because Bobby Eaton is with them. I’m kind of glad that they didn’t go with the Midnights here. This one is hard to screw up. I think the Bodies were using the Freebird Rule. Oh ok Eaton is thrown out to a lot of booing. Why in the world are these guys on WCW? I get the history but SMW in WCW? That’s just odd as all goodness. Morton gets a nice hurricanrana to start us out.

They do a cool/funny sequence where Morton has a wrist lock on and keeps swinging Lane around in circles and he can’t catch a tag. The Express is dominating here. Cornette hugging Pritchard is great stuff. Cornette is just awesomeness in a bad suit. Jesse implies Cornette is gay which you have to be a political geek to get. Don’t ask and I won’t tell you about it. The faces haven’t been in trouble yet at all. Cornette gets taken down to a HUGE pop.

The RNRE just standing in the corner is priceless stuff. Cornette finally interferes to break up the hot streak and the tennis racket gets a shot in to draw great heat. We get the eternal question of what is Pritchard a doctor of and Jesse suggests gynecology. That’s just odd to hear on a wrestling show. He’s the doctor of disaster of all things. That’s so indy level I can’t even wrap my mind around it.

The Bodies are the champions here which I completely forgot to mention. This is the same formula that they’ve used for years and it works fine here. Morton gets the tar beaten out of him and finally Gibson comes in for the save. The double dropkick connects but Cornette makes the interfering save. Eaton comes in for the save but it misses and Gibson gets the pin for the titles.

Rating: B-. This was fine. It’s the same thing they did about a million times in SMW so they knew what they were doing. This was all for the live crowd as these teams were more or less legendary in the area. The decision would be reversed later and the Bodies would get the titles back.

And at Survivor Series 1993.

Smokey Mountain Wrestling Tag Titles: Heavenly Bodies vs. Rock N Roll Express

This is part of an agreement the companies had at the time which didn’t quite work that well. The Express (Ricky Morton and Robert Gibson) are the champions and they’re defending against the Bodies (Tom Prichard and Jimmy Del Ray). It’s a brawl to start with the Express being sent to the floor. Gibson is pulled back in but Morton pulls both of the Bodies out to the floor. Ricky follows that up with a suicide dive to take both of them out at the same time.

Things slow down and we start with Gibson vs. Del Ray. Things are going to go very fast in this match and that’s exactly how it starts with Gibson flipping out of the corner and hitting a headscissor takeover before bringing in Morton. Prichard comes in and gets booed louder than all of the Knights in the previous match combined. Morton can’t quite get above Prichard on a leapfrog and he ducks a Del Ray superkick which takes Prichard down instead.

Both Bodies get monkey flipped out of the corner and we get the always dumb looking rowboat spot, which is where all four of the heels’ legs are rotated around by the good guys. Gibson works on Prichard’s leg and the Express take out Del Ray in the corner before Morton works on Prichard’s leg as well. Tom finally gets in a shot and it’s off to Del Ray who is immediately armdragged down.

In a nice move, Gibson blocks the buckle before Morton’s back hits it to prevent the Bodies from getting the advantage. It’s all Express other than the first fifteen seconds or so. The Bodies have a quick huddle on the floor and the fans are bored. It’s Prichard vs. Morton now with the heels taking over for the first time since the beginning. Off to Del Ray who is suplexed down onto Morton for two.

Back to Prichard for some more choking. There wasn’t a tag but that’s why the Bodies are heels. Del Ray hits an Asai Moonsault to the floor and it’s back to Prichard in the ring who hits a powerslam for two. Off to a chinlock as this match is turning into an old school tag match of the NWA style. A Trash Compactor (a kind of spinebuster/guillotine legdrop combo) gets two but Del Ray’s powerbomb is countered into a rana for two.

Ricky hooks a small package for another two and Del Ray hits a moonsault press on Morton for ANOTHER two. This is why it’s called Playing Ricky Morton people. The guy was a master at it. A double DDT puts the Bodies down and Morton rolls over to make the tag to Gibson.

Now we get to the point of the match: Prichard throws Morton over the top, which is a DQ in SMW, but this is in the WWF. Gibson gets confused and decked for his confusion as Morton gets beaten down even more. There’s the double dropkick to Prichard but it only gets two. Del Ray comes off the top with a tennis racket (Cornette signature) shot to Gibson for the pin and the title.

Rating: B-. This was a strange match as from a technical standpoint it was quite good and in SMW it would have been the main event of a big show, but we’re not in SMW. We’re in the WWF here and these people don’t mean anything. There’s a deep history here of a ton of matches with various gimmicks to them, making this a huge feud. The problem is all we’re told is they’ve been feuding for years. It’s the same issue you have with Japanese wrestlers: just being told how great they are doesn’t mean anything to most fans. We need to see these things, not be told about them.

They would pop up in WCW as jobbers, including this match which could have made a fortune eight years earlier. From Nitro on June 3, 1996.

Rock N Roll Express vs. Ric Flair/Arn Anderson

If this was 1986, this would be able to sell out every arena in the south. Flair and Anderson come out in football…….GOOD FREAKING GRIEF Liz looks good in red leather. Her hotness went WAY up around this time and this is no exception. The audio is messed up here so it sounds like the announcers are about a mile away. Flair teases throwing his jersey to the crowd and then hands it to Liz on the floor. Classic.

Morton and Anderson start us off, despite no one caring about the Express here. WCW’s infinite brilliance continues as they have a countdown clock going in the corner to the second hour and then in the middle of the match pyro and fireworks go off because THE HOUR CHANGED!!! It makes Arn visibly jump. Good thing he was standing by himself and not like, piledriving someone right? For the life of me I never got why that was such a big deal.

Flair vs. Morton now and Morton can’t throw convincing punches at all. Gibson vs. Anderson as I have a feeling we’re in for a long one here. Cross body gets two for Gibson and we’re off to Flair again, who is caught in the figure four rather quickly. Anderson gets caught in one by Morton in a spot we saw very often with these two over the years. Flair gets in the referee’s face and gets shoved to the floor by the striped shirt guy.

After a break the audio is fixed and Morton hits an armdrag to Anderson. Bischoff shows off his ability to tell us what we’re seeing and it’s back to Flair again. Morton hammers away as we talk about the football thing to no end. We actually hear about a WCW charity show in Buffalo. That’s rather awesome. There’s the hammerlock slam by Anderson and it’s arm working time.

Off to Flair and the Horsemen keep their awesome tag work going. Powerslam gets two. The idea here is that Heenan might be managing the Horsemen at the PPV but he won’t say it. Chinlock time which eats up a good while. Morton grabs a sleeper which gets him nowhere. Figure four is reversed for two and a sunset flip gets the same for Morton.

Back to Anderson and Heenan strolls down to ringside to talk to Woman and Liz. And now, back to the match. Morton takes down Anderson with something we don’t see and it’s off to Flair and Gibson. Double dropkick to Flair as Heenan is apparently sitting at Flair’s VIP table. Woman pops up for the distraction and a rake of the eyes, allowing Arn to hit the DDT on Gibson to end this.

Rating: C+. It’s the Rock N Roll Express using the Rock N Roll Express formula. Were you expecting anything different here? Not much to complain about here as it’s nearly 20 minutes of these four. These practice matches are working rather well and this was no exception. Fun stuff here but a bit long for modern wrestling.

And to the WWF for that bizarre NWA invasion angle. From Saturday Night Raw on February 21, 1998.

NWA Tag Titles: Rock N Roll Express vs. Headbangers

Mosh and Gibson start us off but it’s off to Thrasher quickly. There’s something funny about the Express coming out to the Rockers theme song. Cornette distracts the referee and Morton can cheat to shift the advantage. It’s so weird to see the Express as heels and with Cornette.

Mosh gets beaten down for a bit until he gets a double DDT to break the Express’ momentum. Lukewarm tag to Thrasher who cleans house. Stage Dive (powerbomb/guillotine legdrop combination) gets two as Gibson is thrown over the top so it’s a DQ win for the champions. Totally predictable ending.

Rating: D+. Just a basic match that existed to show that the NWA had different rules. It was pretty clear there was going to be a screwy finish as soon as Kelly talked about there being different rules in the NWA than in the WWF. Not a terrible match but there was nothing of note here at all.

We’ll wrap it up at In Your House XXI as I don’t think there’s a ton of interest in two guys in their 50s touring the indy circuit.

NWA World Tag Team Titles: Rock N Roll Express vs. New Midnight Express

The New Midnight Express is comprised of Bombastic Bob (Bob Holly) and Bodacious Bart (Bart Gunn). The original version was managed by Cornette and feuded with the Rock N Roll Express (challengers tonight) for most of the 80s in a feud that revolutionized tag team wrestling. The Rock N Roll Express comes out to the Rockers’ (a WWF tag team) music. Bob and Robert Gibson start things off with Gibson shoulder blocking Bob out to the floor.

Back in and the formerly very fast Rock N Roll Express are just kind of quick here with their signature double leg snap into a rolling double punch to the Midnight on the apron. The fans just do not care here and it’s rather sad to see. Ricky Morton comes in and works on Bob before sending him into Bart, starting an argument between the champions. Bart comes in and puts on an abdominal stretch as I think this is a way to replicate the original feud but it’s just not working at all.

Cornette gets in an argument with the referee and comes into the ring for a boxing match which is an old signature spot of the feud. The referee is ready to go and Cornette runs away to wake up the crowd a bit. Cornette drops back to the floor and trips Morton, allowing Bart to hit a knee to the back, sending Ricky to the floor. The Midnights double team Ricky for two and Bart’s powerslam gets the same.

Bob misses a top rope legdrop though and it’s off to Gibson with no one reacting at all. Everything breaks down with the Rock N Roll in control and hitting their double dropkick on Bart. Gibson has to avoid a Cornette elbow drop but the distraction lets Bart bulldog Gibson down for the pin to retain.

Rating: F. This match wasn’t so much bad as it was pitiful. This was a tag team trying to get back to its old level of glory and just not being able to do it anymore. The match wasn’t horrid, but the idea of the match just didn’t work at all. The NWA angle never worked and had to have been a way to humiliate Cornette instead of help the company at all.

I don’t know what else you want me to say about these guys. The Rock and Roll Express are one of the best and most influential tag teams of all time and you can see so many of their ideas in wrestling today. You can thank them for the face in peril spot and the classic tag team formula which we’ve seen for the last fifteen years minimum. That series they had with the Midnight Express is as good of a pairing as you’ll ever find and it more than holds up today. If you love tag team wrestling…..well you’ve probably seen these guys before. Go watch them again because you’ll learn something new.

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