Invasion 1992
Host: Sean Mooney
Commentators: Sean Mooney, Lord Alfred Hayes, Gorilla Monsoon

It’s another Coliseum Video and that means a grand total of anyone’s best guess. Some of these things can be great but there is always the chance that it is all over the place. Since this is from the WWE Vault, there is a good chance that there is at least one good match involved so let’s get to it.

We have a Star Trek theme here, with Mooney as captain and promising some interesting surprises on this voyage. First up is a communication being intercepted: a fan request for our first match.

From Corpus Christi, Texas, December 2, 1991.

Hulk Hogan vs. Typhoon

Someone find that fan and smack him upside the head. The fans are behind Hogan to start and gets shoved around a few times. Hayes says it’s rare for Hogan to find himself against an opponent with a weight advantage. Has Hayes watched wrestling in the last few years? Mooney follows it up by talking about some of the massive opponents Hogan has faced, showing how stupid Hayes sounded.

Hogan shoves Typhoon and then avoids a charge to hammer away in the corner. Hart has to be knocked off the apron before Hogan slugs away and keeps calling Typhoon “FORMER FRIEND”. You know, that comes up a lot for Hogan so maybe he needs to do some self reflection. Typhoon fights back and slowly hammers away before grabbing the obvious bearhug. Hogan’s comeback sees him bounce off Typhoon and a splash in the corner gets two. The obvious comeback is obvious and Hogan finishes with the legdrop at 5:48.

Rating: D+. Hogan vs. a monster is as traditional of a formula as you can get but you have to give him something better than this. There is only so much that you can get out of Typhoon, who is as generic of a big guy as you can get. The more I see of Typhoon the more it becomes clear that he is just there because of his size and nothing more. Pretty horrible match here, as Hogan needed a better opponent.

Ric Flair and Mr. Perfect send a signal to the ship, saying they might as well take over because no one can give them a challenge. Mooney recognizes that Flair is the WWF Champion and we see the non-Hogan booing edition of the Royal Rumble ending. If nothing else, it was amazing to hear Perfect and Flair make a bunch of space references, as it felt more like a test of “can we get him to say this”.

From New Haven, Connecticut, November 13, 1991.

Intercontinental Title: Bret Hart vs. Ric Flair

Hart is defending and it’s a bit weird that they have the interview with Flair holding the WWF Title and then go back to a time before he won it in the first place. Things are a bit all over the place here as the Fink slips a bit on the intro, both saying “La….ladies and gentlemen” and then slips up by calling Perfect (with Flair) the “financial consultant” before switching to “executive consultant”, earning some laughter from commentary. If that’s not enough, Hebner holds the Intercontinental Title upside down during the introductions.

After taking over a minute to get ready, they stare each other down before finally locking up almost two minutes in. Hart grabs a headlock before shouldering Flair down and grabbing said headlock again. The hold goes on for a good while as it feels like they have a lot of time here. Back up and Hart drop toeholds him down before going for the leg, sending Flair over to the ropes. Flair backs the referee off and almost gets decked for his efforts.

Hart backs him into the corner but Flair uses the hair to…well very little actually as Hart hits him in the face. Back up and Flair knocks him into the corner as commentary talks about Hulk Hogan. The backdrop starts the comeback and Hart hammers away in the corner, only to get atomic dropped back out. Flair drops the knee in the general vicinity of Hart’s head for two (with feet on the ropes).

Some whips into the corner get two more (again with feet on the ropes, and some yelling at the fans for calling Flair out) but Hart gets up and wins a slugout. A sleeper doesn’t get Flair very far and Hart knocks him down into the corner. Flair goes after the leg to take over though and the Figure Four goes on. Ever the villain, Flair slaps him a few times, which is enough for Hart to turn it over for the break. Hart gets in a suplex but can’t follow up so it’s time to chop away in the corner.

The Flair Flip sends Flair out to the floor and Hart (with his straps down) is back in to hammer away some more. The Sharpshooter goes on so Perfect pulls Flair over to the ropes. Hart this the backbreaker but Flair sends him over the top before grabbing a headlock back inside. Another slugout goes to Hart and he knocks Flair outside. This time Hart follows and has to backdrop his way out of a piledriver attempt but Perfect trips him up so only Flair beats the count at 19:19.

Rating: B. Gah I was having fun with this one and could have gone with another ten minutes of it after seeing what they were doing. Hart, who would have been something of an underdog here, was going move for move with Flair and it was great to see. It was turning into a chess match to see who would blink first and while I get that you don’t want to have either of them do a job, the ending was disappointing.

Alfred Hayes, with a bad Scottish accent, can’t fix the hyper drive.

From Corpus Christi, Texas, December 2, 1991.

Ric Flair vs. Shawn Michaels

Mr. Perfect is here with Flair, who has a censored title, which is clearly a Tag Team Title. Flair gets in an early WOO as commentary knows that this will be good, even if it is still Rockers Shawn. A headlock doesn’t get Shawn very far as Flair backs him against the ropes for more WOOing. Another headlock is backed into the corner so Flair can chop away, only to get headlocked down again.

Back up and Shawn knocks him hard to the floor, meaning Flair needs to calm things down. A suplex brings Flair back in and there’s another backdrop to put him down again. There’s the Flair Flip to the floor as Flair is looking like he’s going out of his way to make Shawn look good. Flair breaks up a sunset flip attempt hit falls down to give Shawn a breather.

A dropkick drops Flair with a kick and Shawn slams him off the top, setting up the fist drop for two. Shawn clotheslines him to the floor and tries a dive, only to hit barricade for the big crash. Cue Marty Jannetty (even Mooney wants to know why he wasn’t there at the start) to throw Shawn back in…and Flair pins him with feet on the ropes at 10:25.

Rating: B-. And this concludes the two match series that warrants this tape being uploaded. The ending here was more about advancing the Rockers’ split more than anything else, but Shawn looked good in defeat. The singles push was coming and it was clear that the company saw a lot in him, as did Flair.

Flair says woo.

From Corpus Christi, Texas, December 2, 1991.

Tag Team Titles: Beverly Brothers vs. Legion Of Doom

The Beverlys, with the Genius, are challenging. We get a staredown to start, with Blake strutting around Animal. A shove to Animal earns a bigger one back, with Blake crashing out to the floor. Back in and Blake’s front facelock is shoved off with raw power before Blake tries again, to similar success.

Beau comes in and gets Hawk to chase him, allowing some stomping on the way back in. Hawk is right back with his hangman’s neckbreaker but misses a charge into the post to send him outside. Back in and Blake hammers away, setting up a backbreaker for two. A collision gives Hawk a breather though and a double clothesline allows the big tag to Animal. The powerslam into the Doomsday Device retains the titles at 8:59.

Rating: C. Not much to see here but the match wasn’t bad. The Beverlys were a fine choice for a house show level team to challenge the monster champions and it worked well enough here. The problem with the Legion Of Doom as champions is finding teams to challenge them and that was on display here. It wasn’t a good match, but they did what they could.

Alfred Hayes has fixed the hyperdrive. Well at least he got the sirens to stop going off. And now, it’s off to the Andromeda Galaxy for….Sensational Sherri’s Manager Cam.

From Fort Myers, Florida, January 8, 1992.

Tito Santana vs. Ted DiBiase

Sherri is here with DiBiase and is mic’d up to yell about Santana so there is no commentary. They lock up and then shove each other to start, with Sherri yelling about her Teddy Bear. DiBiase takes over with….something we don’t see because the camera is on Sherri. Santana gets driven into the corner but backs off into the ropes, with Sherri shouting even more. A chase sends DiBiase outside where Santana slugs away (“PLEASE DON’T HURT MY TEDDY BEAR!”) and takes him back inside.

An atomic drop lets DiBiase do his great bump over the top but Sherri trips Santana up (“I GOT YOU!”) back inside. Santana gets sent outside for a slap and Sherri chokes on the ropes. An elbow drop has Sherri VERY interested before she stops to yell at the fans. Santana fights up and they brawl to the floor again, where he teases hitting Sherri. That earns him a shot in the back and it’s a double countout at 8:15.

Rating: C. This was all about Sherri and that was a rough sit. There was only so much that could be done, even by people as talented as DiBiase and Santana, when Sherri is ranting and raving the entire time. I get that it’s the point of the match but egads it just never stopped and got very annoying very fast. I like both of these guys but there was no way they were overcoming that screeching.

Post match the brawl continues, along with the screaming. Sherri tries a shoe shot but hits DiBiase by mistake.

Sean Mooney and Alfred Hayes are about to beam down to the planet, so let’s see a feature on the Nasty Boys.

The Nasty Boys go to a video store (oh how I miss those) and go to the stacked Coliseum Video section, where they complain about their tapes not being included. They spray the manager with silly string and order 3,500 Nasty Boy tapes as they take over the store.

From Huntington, West Virginia, October 1, 1991.

Hercules vs. Big Boss Man

Slick is here with Hercules, who grabs a headlock to start. A running shoulder puts Boss man down and a second one does it again. Boss Man is back with some slams and starts slugging away before going outside to deck Slick. Back in and the running crotch attack to the back hits Hercules but a second attempt misses (as all Hercules had to do was fall down).

A clothesline gives Hercules two but he spends too much time yelling at the camera and gets knocked down again. The slugout goes to Hercules and even Slick gets in some choking (to be fair, Boss Man might have damaged his awesome hat). Back up and Boss Man slugs away as well, setting up a splash for two. The Boss Man Slam finishes at 7:34.

Rating: C-. This was mainly punching and kicking but Boss Man was someone the fans were going to like no matter what he was doing. Hercules was mainly there to make other people look good and he did well enough here. Not a great match or even particularly good, but they hit each other hard enough to keep me interested.

From Cornwall, Ontario, Canada, September 10, 1991.

Million Dollar Title: Virgil vs. Ted DiBiase

DiBiase, with (a thankfully non-mic’d Sherri) is actually challenging and Randy Savage is guest referee. DiBiase’s missed charge lets Virgil hammer away to start and he knocks DiBiase out to the floor. Back in and Virgil hits some slams but charges into a boot in the corner. They head outside with Virgil being rammed into the steps before having his comeback cut off back inside.

A suplex gives DiBiase a rather slow two and gets in an argument with Savage as a result. DiBiase hits a backdrop but pulls him up at (another slow) two, meaning it’s time for more arguing. This time DiBiase decks him (knocking Savage’s hat off in the process, because Savage can referee in a hat) and grabs the Million Dollar Dream on Virgil. Savage is back in with an ax handle to DiBiase and Virgil gets the VERY delayed pin at 7:12.

Rating: D+. The match was dull in the first place but the ending was lame, as DiBiase was suddenly out cold off a single ax handle. This should have been Savage decking DiBiase from the floor and fast counting a rollup but instead it was just a weird way to go. It didn’t help that Virgil wasn’t very good in the ring and that was on full display here.

Mooney and Hayes are on the planet and it’s rather ugly.

From Austin Texas, December 4, 1991.

Undertaker/Jake Roberts vs. Jim Duggan/Randy Savage

No entrances for this one as they’re running out of time on the tape. Savage decks Roberts off the apron before the bell and gets a severe tongue lashing from Earl Hebner. Undertaker chokes Duggan in the corner to start but Duggan avoids a charge. A clothesline sends Undertaker outside and he stares up at Duggan, which has to be a bit unnerving. The Stunner over the top rope drops Duggan as we’re just waiting on the Savage vs. Roberts showdown.

Roberts comes in and gets his arm cranked so Savage gets the tag and starts kicking away. The top rope ax handle sends Roberts outside (making him tougher than Ted DiBiase) so it’s back to Undertaker to choke away. The elbow misses though and it’s back to Duggan to hammer away for what must have been a good ten seconds. Roberts is back in to knee him down but the DDT is broken up. Savage snaps (I know) and chairs Roberts for the DQ at 7:04.

Rating: C-. Another slow motion match though in this case at least it makes sense as you don’t want to have one of the two hottest heels get pinned. Savage vs. Roberts was a white hot feud at this point and that isn’t something that you can have do a fall here. Other than that, Duggan slugging away is a good thing and Undertaker is Undertaker but they didn’t have much time here.

Mooney and Hayes…are left on the planet as the ship leaves, seemingly dooming them forever to end the show. Nice ending.

Overall Rating: C. The Flair matches were good (shocking I know) but the rest was pretty drek. You could definitely feel the transition around this period and there was only so much worth seeing. The Hogan formula was feeling tired and the company needed some fresh stars. The Undertaker would certainly fit, but some of these names just don’t feel that interesting and it was a pretty weak sit with a bunch of dull matches.

 

 

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Supertape II
Host: Sean Mooney
Commentators: Sean Mooney, Lord Alfred Hayes, Gorilla Monsoon, Hillbilly Jim

It’s another Coliseum Video and another that I’ve seen more than a few times. This is from around 1990 and is the usual collection of house show matches and special features. In other words, it’s something that I can go for on any given day and there is a good chance that this will be fun. Let’s get to it.

Sean Mooney is in the studio and welcomes us to the tape, featuring a rundown of what is coming. On top of that we get a kind of spooky vice saying SUPERTAPE, which appears to be our theme for the tape. Uh, right.

From Chattanooga, Tennessee, January 3, 1990.

Jim Duggan vs. Randy Savage

Sherri is here with Savage and this is from Saturday Night’s Main Event, albeit with different commentary. Duggan isn’t having any of this waiting around and jumps him to start, with Savage taking quite the fall on the floor. Savage gets knocked down but comes back with a clothesline, as Duggan just stands there so Savage can hit him (that wasn’t good). They go outside with Savage knocking him around but the camera stays on Sherri and…..eh fair enough.

Back in and Savage misses a charge but Duggan misses an elbow to even it back up. Duggan knocks him to the floor, only to stop and glare at Sherri, allowing Savage a rather long breather. Back in and Duggan drops a knee for…well nothing as Sherri distracts the referee again.

Duggan knocks him outside again (ok we get it) but Sherri gets in a rake to the back and we’re clipped (as there was a commercial on the original broadcast) to Duggan knocking Savage out of the air. Sherri slips in the loaded purse though and Savage knocks him silly (well sillier) for two. The three point clothesline sends Savage to the floor so Duggan suplexes him back inside, only for Sherri to trip Duggan down. Savage puts his feet on the ropes for the pin at 8:42.

Rating: B-. These two were having a good match as Duggan knew how to turn his incredibly basic offense into an entertaining spectacle. Sherri was a good foil on the floor as well and of course Savage can work well with anyone. It wasn’t like Duggan was ever going to be the top star, but dang the fans got behind him when they were given the chance.

Post match Duggan hits Savage with the board to blow off some steam.

We get a profile on the Rockers, starting with a promo from the two talking about the teams they have fought in their two years in the WWF. They’ll take on anyone and they play as hard as they work.

From New York City, New York, January 15, 1990.

Rockers vs. Powers Of Pain

Mr. Fuji is here with the Powers Of Pain. Barbarian shoves Shawn across the ring to start in quite the nice power display. For some reason Shawn’s high five to Marty doesn’t count as a tag so Barbarian gets to shove Shawn around a few more times. A shoulder puts Shawn down again but Marty comes in for the save to take over. Shawn comes in off the top to get in a shot on the arm, followed by a double superkick.

A double clothesline drops Warlord and we get some Rockers posing as the villains take a breather. Back in and Warlord slowly hammers away, only for Marty to dropkick him into a hurricanrana. Warlord hammers Marty back down and a heck of a powerbomb drops him again. A rather high backdrop gives Warlord two and it’s off to Barbarian for a jumping headbutt to the back. Fuji even gets in a cheap shot from the floor, with the distraction having Shawn teasing a punch to the referee.

We hit the bearhug (you knew that was coming) but Marty fights out and hits a middle rope shot to the face. Barbarian is back with a powerslam to plant Marty, only to miss the middle rope elbow. The tag brings in Shawn to clean house, including an assisted sunset flip for two on Warlord. Everything breaks down and Barbarian it set into Marty, leaving Fuji to cane Shawn. Barbarian drops the elbow for the pin at 9:58.

Rating: C+. This was a power vs. speed match and that is always going to work, but at the same time, it was a weird choice for the Power Of Pain to win in a profile about the Rockers. That’s not exactly a great way to go, but the Rockers did get to do some of their usual fast paced stuff. Maybe just do that with a match where they actually win?

Post match Shawn dropkicks Fuji and gets laid out. Marty gets taken out s well, with something like a top rope Hart Attack. Shawn finally gets a chair for the save.

The Rockers introduce another match because they’re tag team specialists.

From Rochester, New York, June 28, 1989.

Rockers vs. Greg Valentine/Dino Bravo

Jimmy Hart is here with the villains. Marty and Bravo start things off with Bravo grinding away on a headlock. Shawn comes in off a blind tag to dropkick Bravo into Marty’s slam though, setting up Marty’s dropkick which doesn’t seem to come close. That means a breather on the floor before valentine comes back in to hammer (naturally) on Michaels. That’s broken up and Marty comes in to take over on Bravo.

A monkey flip has Bravo in trouble but he knocks Marty down, allowing Valentine to hit a double stomp. Marty gets a double elbow to the face but manages to kick the Figure Four attempt off. Valentine isn’t having the comeback though and knocks him down, setting up an elbow for two more. Marty finally fights his way out and brings Shawn in to quite the reaction as the comeback is on.

A suplex gets two on Valentine and Hart gets knocked off the apron. The double dropkick hits Bravo and the double top rope fist drop gets two as Valentine makes the save. Shawn and Bravo collide for a double down and Valentine puts Bravo on top for two. Marty comes back in and gets an O’Connor Roll but Valentine hits a clothesline so Bravo can get the pin at 11:40.

Rating: B-. This picked up near the end and that was nice to see but it did go a good while, especially with a thrown together team like Bravo and Valentine. That being said, again, you might want to give the Rockers a win rather than finding new ways for them to lose. It’s not like the Rockers were some terrible team who never won anything so there should be a lot to choose from for the profile.

Post match Ronnie Garvin, a referee feuding with Valentine, comes down to say Valentine cheated and the decision is reversed. Call it a big win I guess?

A fan wants to see Hercules vs. Akeem. Since she doesn’t like Akeem’s dancing, Akeem won’t talk to her, but Hercules is happy to have her support.

From Portland, Maine, August 30, 1989.

Hercules vs. Akeem

Slick is here with Akeem, who bails as Hercules swings his chain. Akeem dances around and knocks Hercules into the corner, only for Hercules to rain down some right hands. Hercules knocks him out to the floor and we’re already hitting the stall button. Slick gets knocked down and Akeem has to hold him back, which has Hayes almost losing it on commentary.

Back in and they tease a boxing match, with Akeem’s gyrating not really working. Some left hands and a wind up right hand stagger Akeem but a slam isn’t going to happen. Hercules hammers away again and we go to some weird camera shot with the corners cut off. A running knee and a clothesline both put Akeem down…but Slick low bridges Hercules for the DQ at 5:00.

Rating: D+. This was a case where they did what they could and that was only going to get them so far. Ultimately, there isn’t much that Hercules can do with Akeem because Akeem is just that big. That leaves you with Hercules punching him for about three minutes and then getting a knockdown but since they can’t do anything else, they have the lame finish. It’s not a good match, but they did about as much as they could, including that awesome Akeem dancing.

Post match Akeem goes for the splash but Hercules rolls away and hits the big slam. Now why couldn’t they just do that for a finish?

We get a Call Of The Action segment, meaning Alfred Hayes watches clips of an Orient Express squash and names some moves. As in things like “forearm” and “leapfrog”, or if you want to get really technical, a “knuckle blow” or “jump karate kick”. And yes, he does go over the names twice in case you missed them. Ignore Hayes switching from “jump karate kick” to “karate jump kick” in a segment about getting the names of moves right and talking about THE SAME MOVES.

The Orient Express, with Mr. Fuji, are ready to hurt Demolition. Especially Ax for some reason.

From New York City, New York, March 19, 1990.

Demolition vs. Orient Express

Gorilla talks about how Demolition is in line for a possible three peat as Tag Team Champions, which he has never seen before. Not only has he seen it, but he saw it with Mr. Fuji, who is here with the Express. Smash wastes no time in punching Tanaka down and it’s off to Ax to crank on the neck.

Sato comes in and gets whipped into the corner as Gorilla talks about Fuji being a two or three time Tag Team Champion (it was five), including with Professor Tanaka, with whom he held the titles three times. So Gorilla remembers the team, knows that Fuji was a multiple time champion, but not that it was a three peat. Bobby Heenan would never do that. Tanaka comes back in and gets knocked down again, setting up a backbreaker for a quick two.

Ax comes in to stay on the arm but it’s back to Smash, who gets karated up against the ropes so the villains can take over. Fuji must have helped them with his completely forgettable tag team experience. We get some kind of cheap shot from Tanaka, which the camera completely misses, leaving commentary totally confused at what happened. Fuji gets in a cane shot and the beating continues, to the point where Ax comes in to hammer away and blow off some steam.

Ax trying to come in again lets the Express get in some more double teaming, which consists of hitting Smash a few more times. That’s broken up with a single clothesline out of the corner though and it’s Ax coming back in to clean house. A powerslam gets two on Sato as everything breaks down. Fuji breaks up the Decapitator with another cane shot and Sato adds some salt to the eyes for the countout at 10:57.

Rating: C. Demolition loses to the Orient Express less than two weeks before getting the Tag Team Titles at Wrestlemania? In theory that would set up a title rematch down the line, but dang that’s a weird way to treat the #1 contenders so close to a major match. This was only ok anyway, as Demolition never felt like they were in any real danger and mainly shrugged off all of the chops and kicks.

From New York City, New York, March 19, 1990.

Rick Martel vs. Bret Hart

Same show as the previous match and this should be a bit better. Martel knocks him into the corner to start but Hart is right back up to knock him to the floor, allowing Monsoon to talk about the “external occipital protuberance”. Back in and Martel misses a charge into the corner, allowing Hart to work on the arm a bit. The armbar goes on as Monsoon thinks these two are going to do rather well with the ladies.

A backslide gives Hart two and we’re right back to the armbar. As Hillbilly Jim tries to figure out where he would fit in over in Europe (Hayes doesn’t think it would work), Martel leverages Hart out to the floor. Jim accepts that he can’t go due to the lack of possum pie as Martel can’t pose due to the banged up arm.

A suplex brings Hart back in and we hit the abdominal stretch to give Monsoon an opening to complain about the lack of a leg hook. Hart gets in his own suplex into a backbreaker for two and Martel needs a breather on the floor. Back in and Hart hits a dropkick but he doesn’t have the Sharpshooter yet so it’s a stomp to the ribs for two instead. Martel bails to the floor and it’s a time limit draw at 12:02. The full match runs about 22 minutes so that’s a heck of a trim job.

Rating: B-. I could go for seeing the whole thing as they were having some good chemistry out there. Hart was clearly getting a look for a rather eventual solo run, even if it was over a year away at this point. What mattered here was letting Hart show what he could do and Martel was a great choice to make that work as he really was that talented.

Post match Hart beats him up again.

We get a profile on Slick, who talks about how he is the greatest of the great. This means a quick montage of Slick dancing and cheating, set to the still outstanding Jive Soul Bro. That’s not much of a profile.

From New York City, New York, December 28, 1989.

Rick Rude vs. Roddy Piper

Inside a cage, with a new rule of being able to win via pinfall. They start fast with Rude being sent into the cage as commentary is surprised by the idea of a referee in there. Piper whips away with a belt, setting up an atomic drop to keep rude in (amusing) trouble. Rude is sent into the cage as it’s all Piper so far. Piper goes up but gets cut off (with his trunks coming down) by the rather bloody Rude.

Some forearms keep Piper down but he’s fine enough to pull Rude back in, with the tights coming way off to bring up the blurred image. Back in and Piper hammers away but gets caught in a quick Rude Awakening. Rude can’t follow up though as he’s still blinded by the blood in his eyes (and the blur on the upper half of his tights, only for Piper to almost get out as a result. They both go up and fight on top of the cage before climbing down on the outside.

A double ram into the cage lets them come crashing down and they hit at the exact same time (we need Jesse Ventura to say one of their legs were straight). The match must continue, so Rude hits him with a chair and they go back inside, where hopefully Rude will pull hits freaking tights up already. Rude goes to the top of the cage and hits a top rope fist drop, leaving Piper vibrating in what looks like a Hogan impression.

That’s only good for a rather delayed two so Rude goes up again, only to get crotched down on top. Piper goes for the door but Heenan slams it onto his head, allowing Rude to hit a belly to back suplex. Heenan throws in some brass knuckles but Piper takes them away and knocks Rude out, allowing him to go through the door for the win at 12:53.

Rating: B+. These two worked very well together and they had a heck of a match here, with both guys beating the fire out of each other. It felt like a big blowoff between the two of them, which is what a cage match at MSG should be. You don’t see Piper getting big wins like this very often but dang did it worth. Check this out if you want an old school cage match between two legends.

And now, Bloopers, which are totally not staged in any way. This includes a bunch of scenes of Monsoon and Heenan at Busch Gardens, which don’t feel like bloopers as much as them doing their usual stuff. It also goes on way too long, with one of the only highlights being Monsoon dressed as Brother Love for Halloween.

From New York City, New York, February 19, 1990.

Hulk Hogan/Brutus Beefcake vs. Mr. Perfect/The Genius

Perfect actually takes Hogan down to start and sends him outside, only for Perfect to stomp away as he comes back in. Hogan gets in a shot of his own though and it’s off to Beefcake for a double noggin knocker on the floor. Back in and a right hand gets two on Perfect and Hogan comes in for the back rake (villain).

Beefcake’s high knee connects and commentary talks about golf for some reason. They go outside though and Perfect gets in a shot with Genius’ metal scroll, followed by a ram into the barricade. The fans are RIGHT THERE to cheer for Hogan and it’s Genius coming in for some rather dainty rakes to the back. Hogan fights up and hands it off to Beefcake for the running knee on Perfect, followed by the sleeper. Genius gets in a scroll shot though, allowing Hogan to chase him to the back (Hillbilly: “That’s right, you better run.”).

Hogan has to run back to break up a VERY slow count as Genius is back on the apron. Heenan asks Jim about horseshoes as Genius rakes Beefcake’s eyes, allowing Perfect to come back in. The slow beating continues with the referee not seeing the tag to Hogan, allowing Beefcake to get knocked back into the corner. Hogan breaks up the PerfectPlex and gets the tag to start cleaning house. Everything breaks down and the big boot into the legdrop finishes Genius at 15:10.

Rating: C-. Long, dull match here with the heat segment on Beefcake feeling like it was going on forever. The fans were into it though and that helps, but this needed to be about five minutes shorter to really work. Heenan needling Hillbilly on commentary was funny but that’s about the only high point for the whole thing.

Post match Genius is put to sleep and gets some more of his hair cut.

Mooney wraps it up and finds out that it was….the sign guy who was messing with the spooky SUPERTAPE deal. That’s stupid.

Overall Rating: B-. There are some bad spots in here, but for the most part this worked rather well. It’s a good era for the company with all kinds of star power and the cage match is definitely worth a look. The main event needs some work but other than that and Hercules vs. Akeem, nothing on here is bad. Check this one out if you get the chance as I had a fun time with some nice flashbacks.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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Saturday Night’s Main Event #18
Date: November 26, 1988
Location; ARCO Arena, Sacramento, California
Attendance: 15,900
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jesse Ventura

The Vault strikes again with a look back at a classic Saturday Night’s Main Event before the big revival this weekend. We’re just past Survivor Series and that means Randy Savage is still the WWF Champion with a title defense against Andre The Giant. Odds are Hulk Hogan will be doing something as well so let’s get to it.

The Ultimate Warrior says this is a time of thanks…but not when Mr. Fuji’s Super Ninja is coming after his Intercontinental Title!

Bobby Heenan is ready for Andre The Giant to get the WWF Title back.

Randy Savage, with Elizabeth, knows that Andre is the greatest threat to his title but it’s going to be David vs. Goliath again.

Ted DiBiase, with the shirt on but no jacket for a weird look, is all about buying and selling. He bought Hercules and now he’s going to collect.

Hulk Hogan doesn’t like Brother Love setting him up for a beating from the Big Boss Man. Tonight, he’ll talk to Brother Love but it might not go well.

Dig that opening sequence.

Jesse insists that he get top billing over Vince because they’re close to Hollywood.

Mr. Fuji promises that the Super Ninja has been trained in the seven arts on seven continues. Naturally we get a Pearl Harbor reference as well, which kind of negates the whole surprise aspect.

Ultimate Warrior has seen battles beyond Gene Okerlund’s imagination and is ready to win again.

Intercontinental Title: Ultimate Warrior vs. Super Ninja

The Ninja (as played by Rip Oliver) is challenging and has Mr. Fuji in his corner. Ninja slugs away to start and is shoved down in a hurry, setting up a leapfrog into a big boot. With those two new moves added to Warrior’s arsenal, he throws Ninja back inside, elbows him in the face, and hits the gorilla press into the Warrior Splash to retain at 2:10. That was a fun squash with the Ninja being all hyped up and then being absolutely nothing.

We recap Bobby Heenan selling Hercules to Ted DiBiase, who called Hercules a “slave”. Believe it or not, this didn’t go well.

Jesse Ventura talks to Ted DiBiase (with Virgil) and says this is pretty cut and dry: DiBiase should own Hercules! DiBiase agrees because Hercules is his slave to do with as he sees fit. Jesse: “Why don’t you step into the ring with Hercules and show that slave once and for all who the master is?” DiBiase: “That’s for people like Virgil to do!”

Hercules is ready to beat Virgil because he’s a free man. He wears these chains freely!

Hercules vs. Virgil

Virgil and DiBiase jump Hercules before the bell but he clears the ring and chases DiBiase around a bit. Back in and an elbow drops Virgil before DiBiase’s distraction completely fails. Virgil’s right hands don’t do anything either and Hercules drops him again. A running powerslam finishes Virgil off at 3:24.

Rating: C. Total destruction here and that’s what it should have been. Hercules gets to show what he can do while being just a step away from DiBiase himself. To say the subject matter of this story was a bit rough is an understatement, but at least Hercules is looking good in the early stages.

Post match Hercules throws Virgil onto DiBiase before spinning his chain around.

We look back at Jake Roberts scaring Andre the Giant with Damian and possibly giving Andre a heart attack.

Andre and Bobby Heenan are ready to get the WWF Title back because Randy Savage is going to run into a giant wall.

Randy Savage, with Elizabeth, has to beat Andre to prove he is a great champion, just like Hulk Hogan.

WWF Title: Andre The Giant vs. Randy Savage

Savage, with Elizabeth, is defending. Andre wins a strike off to start and crushes him in the corner without much trouble. A knee to the back finally slows Andre down but a Heenan distraction lets Andre choke with the strap, as is his custom. For some reason Savage tries a slam, which is cut off as quickly as expected. Andre chokes, this time with his hand, which might be worse, but Savage gets in a jawbreaker.

Savage sends him into the buckle and hits a middle rope ax handle to knock Andre down (which Jesse declares as Savage “wrestling smart”). Cue Jake Roberts to put Damian underneath the ring and we get a quick chat with Roberts. We take a break and (after Hulk Hogan promises to see Brother Love) come back with Andre knocking him down, only for Savage to go after him again. Andre gets smart by sitting on him as Heenan finds Damian…but gets cut off by Roberts. Heenan runs inside and that’s a DQ at 8:51.

Rating: C. Savage fighting through everything he could but ultimately being outmatched makes sense and they had a nice enough match. At the end of the day, almost no one can hang in there with Andre one on one so this went as well as it could. Having Roberts come in there was a fine way to get out of the match and it was a perfectly acceptable showdown, especially as it didn’t go on that long.

Post match Savage whips Heenan into Andre to tie him in the ropes. Damian is pulled out but Andre escapes and lumbers off.

Jim Duggan says the American flag should be the only flag raised in this country, including Dino Bravo and Boris Zhukov’s flags.

Jim Duggan vs. Boris Zhukov

The winner gets their flag raised. Duggan slugs away to start and hits an atomic drop out to the floor. Back in and Zhukov manages a few shots but Duggan drops him with a clotheslines. The three point clothesline finishes Zhukov in a hurry at 2:25. That’s all the match needed to be and an 80s crow will always go for the patriotic stuff.

The American flag is presented in a stretch that almost takes longer than the match.

We look at the Big Boss Man attacking Hulk Hogan on the Brother Love Show.

It’s time for another Brother Love Show with a REAL AMERICAN guest in the form of…Boss Man’s manager Slick. We cut to Hulk Hogan in the back and he really isn’t pleased. Love praises Slick and here is Hogan to interrupt. Love asks Hogan about the beating Boss Man gave him and pulls the microphone away before he can answer. He does it again, but lets Slick talk about how bad Hogan was beaten up.

Hogan takes the mic and threatens violence from one of the Hulkamaniacs. As for Love, Hogan is ready to be the judge who passes execution on him (Hogan LOVED that line and used it probably four times on Saturday Night’s Main Event alone). Hogan has finally had enough of the back talk and sends slick flying before handcuffing Love to the ropes and giving him a running clothesline to the floor (geez that could have wrenched Love’s shoulder). Posing ensues.

The Fabulous Rougeau Brothers are officially living in America, with Jimmy Hart being rather proud that they have moved to Memphis, Tennessee.

Fabulous Rougeau Brothers vs. Young Stallions

Jacques shoulders Powers down to start and hits a quick dropkick. Powers reverses a whip into the corner though and hammers away, only for Raymond to come in and take over. A neckbreaker gives Jacques two as commentary talks about anything else. Powers fights up and brings in Roma to clean house, with a powerslam planting Jacques. A missile dropkick gets two on Jacques but the referee has to get rid of Powers. That means a rake to the eyes sets up Le Bombe de Rougeau to finish Roma at 3:05.

Rating: C-. This was the standard “we have no time so here’s a match to fill in the bit of the show we have left”. That doesn’t make for the most thrilling match, even though these teams could have a good match if they were given the chance. If nothing else, the Rougeaus’ finisher was always cool so this could have been worse.

Andre the Giant swears vengeance on Jake Roberts. And he is NOT afraid.

Jake Roberts says a snake can feel the fear and he and Damian will not stop until they have consumed a giant.

Hulk Hogan does his judge, jury and executioner thing again, promising to take out Slick and the Big Boss Man.

Vince and Jesse wrap it up.

Credits roll.

Overall Rating: C. It’s not a great show but it was a nice flashback to the older days. Savage vs. Andre is a match you don’t get to see very often, which might be a good thing given how the match was only so good. It was nice to see the focus on someone other than Hogan for once, though the results were only so successful. This probably isn’t worth another look as there are better editions of the show, but I’ve seen worse.

 

 

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Wrestling Challenge
Date: September 13, 1986
Location: Civic Center, Hartford, Connecticut
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Ernie Ladd, Johnny V

It’s the second episode and there is one simple question: how many times can Ernie Ladd use the terms “without a doubt” or “without a shadow of a doubt”? Last time was roughly 47 each in a show that didn’t even last an hour so he could get in his two statements dozens more time if he puts his mind to trying. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Quick host intro.

Opening sequence.

Here’s what’s coming this week.

Funks vs. George Steele/Junkyard Dog

Unfortunately it’s Jimmy Jack instead of Terry (with Jimmy Hart). Slightly more fortunately, Steele and Dog have Lou Albano with them. After Steele stops to eat a turnbuckle, Dog fires off some headbutts to clear out the Funks again. We actually start with Hoss (Dory) being rammed into the corner as Albano gives us an inset interview to talk about Steele and Dog working together well because they’re so different. He goes on so long that the inset window goes away mid sentence, which might be the best idea.

Steele gets taken into the corner as commentary bickers incessantly. It’s off to Dog for an awkward collision with Jimmy Jack in the corner and let’s try some hogtying! Steele makes the save with a chair and it’s a belly to back suplex to finish Jimmy Jack at 2:19. Somehow this was bad even in such a short amount of time.

Post match Jimmy Jack gets hogtied for fun. Then the winners, including Albano, dance as we get a referee (ignore the one count coming before Dog had the cover).

This week’s Wrestler’s Rebuttal is from the Hart Foundation, who don’t like being called nasty boys. They’ve been called Beer Belly and Greaseball but Bret says they’re the best there is, the best there was and the best there ever will be. Dang he got that one in earlier than I thought.

Kamala vs. Mario Mancini

Kamala (or Kamalee according to Lord Alfred Hayes) has Wizard and Kim Chee with him. After taking a good bit of time to get rid of his stuff, Kamala chops away on Mancini, even after he’s already down. The inset promo from the Wizard (identified as Curtis Iaukea by Monsoon) talks about getting a monster in Singapore as the squash continues. A kick to the ribs sets up more chops and the splash finishes Mancini at 1:59.

Captain Lou Albano talks about his psychologists/gynecologists (right) working with George Steele. Intelligence aside, he has the heart of a lion and knows every move. He may not use them, but he knows them you see. Steele grew up with a lisp but had a steel plate put over his tongue in a failed attempt to cure his speech impediment. Now he’s fighting….multiple sclerosis? Well that got serious quickly. Steele says he was told to be vicious, so he’ll do be vicious to Randy Savage.

Hillbilly Jim/Cousin Luke vs. Jack Kruger/Joe Mirto

The Hillbillies get jumped from behind to start but get cleared out without much trouble. Jim beats on Mirto as we hear from Jimmy Hart, who is sending his boys after the Hillbillies because he doesn’t like country music. Luke slams Mirto but misses an elbow, allowing Kruger to come in. Ladd says Luke’s tennis shoes are called “burglar boots” where he’s from as Luke fights up and brings Jim back in. A double slam sets up a bearhug to finish Kruger at 2:37. Hillbilly Jim was fun but adding in his relatives dragged the act down fast.

Interviewer Ken Resnick talks about how many great teams there are here and brings in the undefeated Rougeaus. They want to face every team to get their hands on the British Bulldogs for the Tag Team Titles. They inspire each other and while they respect the Bulldogs, they like the titles more. Both of them are a bit chatty but they were a fine team.

Honky Tonk Man is coming soon and talks about going out dancing last night with the 57 Chevy top down. He wants Paul Orndorff too. This gimmick as a face is an all time WHAT WERE THEY THINKING moment.

Ricky Steamboat vs. Roger Kirby

Steamboat leapfrogs him a few times to start but gets hiptossed for his efforts. The armdrags into an armbar put Kirby down and that works so well that Steamboat does it again. An atomic drop gets Kirby out of trouble and he kind of awkwardly kicks at Steamboat in what might have been a bit of miscommunication. Steamboat can’t chop out of the corner but he can ram Kirby into the buckle. Kirby is fine enough to knock him into the ropes though and Steamboat’s leg gets tied up. Back in and Steamboat slides between the legs, hits a slam, and finishes with the high crossbody at 4:23.

Rating: C-. This was a bit of a weird one as Steamboat was beaten up more than you would have expected him to be. That being said, I could watch Steamboat all day as there are very few people who can make wrestling look so smooth. That slide through the legs and high crossbody looked great and Steamboat is one of the only few who can pull that off.

We go to the Snake Pit with Hillbilly Jim as this week’s guest. Jake talks about putting together one of his mom’s recipes but Jim isn’t impressed. Instead, Jake tells him to stomp twice if he doesn’t understand him. Jim says he’ll stay quiet and let the fools talk. They trade witty expressions (Jake’s is about a bird and Jim says sometimes the lights are on but no one is home). This was a weird one even by Jake standards.

King Kong Bundy/Big John Studd vs. Billy Jack Hayes/Paul Roma

Hayes can’t get anywhere with Studd so we’ll go with an insert promo from Harley Race, who brags about being a king. Studd has to block some slam attempts and hands it off to Bundy for an elbow to the face. The splash misses in the corner though and Roma comes in to clean house. That must last for a full seven seconds before Bundy hits the Avalanche in the corner for the pin at 2:34.

Corporal Kirchner/Jim Powers/Salvatore Bellomo vs. Hercules/Iron Sheik/Nikolai Volkoff

Slick and Freddie Blassie are here with the villains. It’s a big brawl to start as the Americans break up the Russian national anthem (which earned some trash in the ring). We settle down to Sheik suplexing Bellomo and Hercules coming in to knee Powers in the ribs. As commentary suggests that Slick has an army of ladies of the evening in his employment, Sheik hits a running crotch attack to the back of the neck. We get an insert promo from Billy Graham, talking about his chimney being made of human skulls. With that out of the way, Hercules torture racks Powers for the win at 2:54.

Jimmy Hart and the Hart Foundation don’t like being called nasty boys. They’ve been accused of cheating and insist it is their skill/muscle that make them great. They’re coming for the British Bulldogs.

Here’s who’s coming next week.

Here is your musical review to wrap it up.

Overall Rating: C. They keep this show moving and that is a lot of fun every time. It is great to see the show have so much packed into about 45 minutes as opposed to one thing dominating the show. This was another easy to watch show and we’re inching closer to some of the biggest stuff the WWF will ever do, so it’s just getting started.

 

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Summerslam 1989
Date: August 28, 1989
Location: Meadowlands Arena, East Rutherford, New Jersey
Attendance: 20,000
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Jesse Ventura

We’re back with another edition of the show with another tag team main event. This time it’s the now heel Savage teaming with an actor named Zeus to face Hogan and Brutus Beefcake. This isn’t even the blowoff match between the teams which makes the match even more of an odd choice. The other major match tonight is Rick Rude defending the Intercontinental Title against Ultimate Warrior, the man he stole the title from back at Wrestlemania. Let’s get to it.

Jesse blames Tony for having Heenan run off the air. I have no idea what he’s talking about as Heenan is on the show later tonight.

We get an intro video similar to the opening of a regular TV show with various highlights and people enjoying the warm weather.

Hart Foundation vs. Brain Busters

The Brain Busters (Arn Anderson and Tully Blanchard) won the tag titles a few weeks before this show, but since the match was already signed this is non-title. Why it wasn’t changed to a title match is beyond me but there’s no way this won’t be awesome. Heenan is with the Brain Busters here, making what Jesse said even more confusing. Bret and Tully get things going with Hart going straight for the arm. Arn comes in to take Bret to the mat with a headlock, only to have Bret crank on his arm as well.

A hammerlock slam puts Arn in a cute bit before it’s off to Neidhart for some powerful cranking on the arm. The Harts change two more times and both guys get to crank on the arm before Bret puts on an armbar. Arn slips out and brings in Tully who has his own arm pulled on by Anvil. Blanchard pulls on the beard to escape but can’t hiptoss the big man over. Back to Bret for more arm work before Anvil sneaks in without a tag. It’s only cheating if you get caught remember.

Anvil completely no sells some chops to the chest and sends Tully into the buckle before bringing Bret back in. The fans are all over Heenan with a Weasel chant while Bret works on a hammerlock. Tully grabs a top wristlock but Bret bridges off the mat to escape and the Busters are sent to the outside. Back in and Bret wins a slugout with Tully but gets suckered into a chase with Blanchard making a blind tag to Arn who blasts Bret from behind.

Everything breaks down again with the Brain Busters being knocked out to the floor once again. Back in and Bret sends Tully’s face into Anvil’s boot before bringing Neidhart again. Things break down again but Bret accidentally whips Jim into the buckle to give the Busters control. Arn drives a middle rope elbow into Neidhart’s back before it’s back to Tully for a reverse chinlock. Neidhart picks him up but Tully makes another blind tag off to Anderson to block a tag.

Arn punches him down but Anvil LAUNCHES Anderson off at two. Back up and both guys collide before Bret gets in a knee to Arn’s back to give Neidhart a breather. The hot tag brings in Hart vs. Blanchard with Bret dropping the middle rope elbow for no cover. Everything breaks down for the third or fourth time tonight with Bret being whipped into Tully to put both guys down.

Arn and Jim go to the floor but Bret slingshots Jim over the top into a shoulder block to Tully. Anvil powerslams Bret onto Blanchard but Anderson hits an ax handle to Bret’s head for the pin (while covering his head so the referee doesn’t see it’s Arn in the ring because Arn Anderson is more awesome than you).

Rating: B. I could watch Arn Anderson matches all day because of stuff like that at the end. I mean, who would think of such a little thing like that at the end of a match? This was a very solid opener but again I have no idea why the titles weren’t on the line here, especially if the Busters were going to go over by pin. The Harts wouldn’t even be a factor in the title scene for another year and even then they were big underdogs.

Dusty Rhodes talks about how the man in the blue suede shoes told him he can dance better than the Honky Tonk Man. This is a bit of a step down from Hard Times.

Honky Tonk Man vs. Dusty Rhodes

Dusty recently stole the Boss Man’s hat and nightstick after debuting early in the summer. We start with a dance off before Dusty takes him into the corner for a clean break. Honky bails to the floor to avoid the Bionic Elbow but comes back in for Dusty to grab his arm. Instead of driving an elbow into the shoulder though, Dusty messes with Honky’s hair to really get on his nerves. An atomic drop and the Bionic Elbow put Honky down with Dusty in full control.

Ten right hands in the corner drop Honky to the mat and it’s off to Dusty’s totally lame leg lock (meaning he stands there and turns Honky’s foot) fills in some time. Honky fires off some right hands but drops down to avoid a running Dusty. Jimmy Hart trips Dusty up and Honky just lays on the mat instead of going after Rhodes as Jimmy is stalked. Honky gets Jimmy’s megaphone for a shot to Dusty’s ribs and finally takes over with a chinlock.

It’s the long form version as we’re still in the hold about two minutes later. Dusty fights up and misses an elbow so it’s back to the chinlock. Rhodes fights up again and pounds away with right hands but Honky sends him into the referee to make this match go even further. Jimmy accidentally knocks Honky silly with the guitar and Dusty drops a big elbow for the pin.

Rating: D-. Who in the world thought this deserved ten minutes should be carried into the street and shot. Between the leg lock and the WAY too long chinlock, this could have been cut in half and nothing would have been lost. Honky was fine as a jobber to the stars at this point and he would maintain that position for months to come. This was way overbooked for what it was worth, but the fans loved Dusty which is the point of the match.

Honky asks someone to help him find the stage and wants to know where Priscilla is.

Demolition and King Hacksaw Jim Duggan are ready for their six man tag against the Twin Towers (Boss Man/Akeem) and Andre the Giant.

Mr. Perfect vs. Red Rooster

Perfect is still perfect at this point. They shove each other around to start until Hperfect shoves him down and hits a hiptoss. Things speed up a bit with both guys running the ropes and Perfect trying a slam. Rooster slips down the back and tries a slam of his own but can’t get Perfect up in a weird spot. Perfect sends him to the floor for a second and pounds away back inside, only to be shoved to the floor by Rooster. Perfect wins a quick slugout on the floor before going inside for the PerfectPlex and a very fast pin.

Rating: D. This was very odd with the match finishing out of nowhere after no build at all. The match had to be cut for time or maybe an injury because there’s no way this was the match they were planning. Or maybe they didn’t have time because we needed Dusty to have an even longer chinlock. These two are capable of having a far better match though and did many times.

Survivor Series is coming.

We go to Gene with Rude and Heenan in the back but the set falls down and the interview never stars. They try it again and the heels say they’ll do whatever it takes to keep the title.

The Rockers/Tito Santana vs. Fabulous Rougeau Brothers/Rick Martel

This should be awesome. Martel teases getting in there against Tito to start but sends Jacques in instead. As is his custom, Jacques requests a handshake but sneaks in some choking on Tito instead. The Rockers come in without tags and the good guys hit stereo dropkicks to send the French Canadians to the floor. Things settle down to Marty vs. Jacques with the latter going to the middle rope and head faking Marty, but Jannetty is faking the head fake and punches Jacques on the way down.

The advantage is short lived though as Ray Rougeau gets in a knee to the back from the apron and a kind of superkick to put Marty down. Off to Martel for right hands and some dancing followed by a cartwheel out of the corner. Marty is tired of the dancing and dropkicks Martel down but Rick runs away from the charging Tito. Instead it’s Santana putting a headlock on Ray before getting two off a clothesline.

Much like his brother did earlier, Jacques interferes for Ray and the Rougeaus take over on Santana with a double back elbow. Martel comes in to pound on the weakened Tito like a true weasel. Rick stomps away against the ropes as the fans are getting angrier and angrier at the Model. Jacques comes in again and hooks a front facelock to block the hot tag. Back to Martel but Tito fires off right hands to send the crowd into a frenzy. Jacques quickly pulls Tito’s hair to break it up but Tito gets a sunset flip for two.

Rick puts Tito down with a backbreaker and Ray hooks a Boston crab to stay on the weakened back. Back to Jacques for an abdominal stretch with a helping hand from Martel on the apron. Rick comes in again to break up another hot tag attempt and Ray stops Tito’s comeback just like Jacques did earlier. Tito hits a quick cross body for two and the Rockers finally come in to break up the interference. Ray comes in to keep Tito down but Jacques’ flying knee hits his brother, FINALLY allowing Tito to make the hot tag to Shawn.

Martel tries to hide in the corner but gets caught in a huge backdrop to send him running even further. A dropkick and a suplex put Martel down and the top rope right hand gets two as everything breaks down. Tito hits the flying forearm to send Martel to the floor and Marty rolls up Jacques, only to have Martel slide back in and blast Jannetty with a right hand, giving Jacques the pin.

Rating: B. Take six guys and two feuds, give them fifteen minutes in front of a hot crowd and witness the awesome. That’s exactly what happened here and the crowd got WAY into it, especially the Martel vs. Santana stuff. Those two just started feuding a few months before this and people were drooling to see Tito get his revenge. Really solid old school six man tag here which worked exceptionally well.

We recap Rude vs. Warrior. Rude attacked Warrior during a posedown at the Rumble before stealing the IC Title at Wrestlemania with help from Heenan. Tonight is the rematch with rude defending against a ticked off Warrior after Warrior spent months fighting through the Heenan Family. This was also used to set up Warrior vs. Andre the Giant over the winter.

Warrior rants about Andre before saying he’ll get his title back from Rude.

Intercontinental Title: Ultimate Warrior vs. Rick Rude

Rude isn’t sure what to do with Warrior to start so he tries punching him in the face to no avail. A clothesline puts Rude on the apron and a sunset flip is easily blocked with a right hand to the champion’s face. Warrior easily picks him up and gorilla presses him to the floor as this is one sided so far. Rude is sent into the barricade as Jesse is losing his mind over the referee not disqualifying Warrior.

Warrior gets two off a top rope ax handle before throwing him into the corner and pounding away. A shoulder block gets two on Rude and there’s an atomic drop to crush Rude’s spine a bit more. Warrior swivels his hips but gets crotched on the top rope to Jesse’s glee. Rude pounds on the back as he did in the Wrestlemania match and gets two off a suplex. Off to a reverse chinlock with Rude dropping down onto Warrior’s back for good measure. Back up and Warrior breaks up the Rude Awakening but gets caught in a sleeper.

Warrior finally fights out with a jawbreaker but after they run the ropes a bit, Rude sends Warrior into the referee to put everyone down. It’s Rude on his feet first but Warrior starts to Hulk Up to a HUGE reaction. A big backdrop and a clothesline put Rude down followed by a powerslam but there’s no referee. Warrior hits a piledriver but the referee crawls over for two. A powerslam sets up the splash but Rude gets his knees up to slow Warrior down again.

Rude hits a kind of powerbomb (basically driving Warrior’s head into the mat) for a close two as things slow down again. Rude hits a top rope right hand to the jaw as Roddy Piper strolls down. A piledriver puts Warrior down but Piper flashes Rude, allowing Warrior to suplex him out of the corner. Warrior hits a quick shoulder block followed by the gorilla press and splash for the title and an ERUPTION from the crowd.

Rating: B. If there has ever been better chemistry between a talented guy and a guy who could barely survive against anyone else, I’m not sure where it is. Warrior looked great out there and got the win back to conclude a very well done feud. Good stuff here as this show is cooking after a somewhat weak start. That pop for Warrior pretty much gave him the world title right then and there.

Mr. Perfect says he’s perfect.

Roddy Piper laughs about costing Rude the title, setting up his first feud after returning to the ring.

Ronnie Garvin is in a tuxedo and gets to be a guest announcer tonight. Heenan comes in to interrupt him and rants about Piper coming to the ring and costing Rude the title. Rude isn’t pleased either and yells as you would expect him to.

We go to an intermission, which is just a graphic with a countdown clock until the show continues.

We recap the main event tag match. Hogan was in a movie with Tiny Lister portraying the villain. The idea of the story is that Lister’s character Zeus felt that he could beat Hogan in Hogan’s real life job so he beat up Hogan before a cage match. This would be like Harrison Ford picking a fight with Mark Hamill because of what Hamill did on the Millennium Falcon. I don’t know if we were supposed to take it seriously or not, but the main problem here is obvious: Zeus is an actor instead of a wrestler, meaning there isn’t much he can do in the ring.

Savage and Beefcake got involved to make it a tag match so Zeus didn’t fight alone. Hogan couldn’t hurt Zeus with a chair to the back but raking the eyes had an effect, giving Hogan an opening tonight. Savage was still a big deal at this point so this really was a big heel team to face Hogan and Beefcake. We get full clips of these moments as the intermission continues.

Twin Towers/Andre the Giant vs. Demolition/Jim Duggan

Duggan is King of the WWF and has his face painted like Demolition but is rocking an American flag pattern of course. Akeem starts with the King with Duggan absorbing the trash talk and pounding away on the big man before it’s off to Ax for some pounding on the arm. Smash comes in and Demolition pounds Akeem down before bringing Duggan back in to crank on the arm as well.

Akeem finally gets in a shot to Ax’s ribs and it’s off to Boss Man who is immediately pounded down by the fresh Smash. Boss Man rakes the eyes to slow Smash down but Smash rakes the eyes right back in a good bit. Ax comes in again and cranks on the arm but gets sent into the wrong corner so Andre can come in and pound away with big right hands.

Akeem comes back in but misses a slow motion splash, allowing for the hot tag back to Smash who slams Akeem down in an impressive power display. Everything breaks down and Akeem hits a bottom rope splash on Smash, but Duggan hits Akeem in the back with the 2×4 to give Smash the pin.

Rating: C. It wasn’t much of a match but for above seven and a half minutes with these six guys, this was as good as you were going to get. Duggan was about as big as he was going to get in the WWF at this point as the fans were WAY into his Hogan-Lite character. Demolition was fresh off losing the tag titles but but they were still the most popular tag team in the company. Good, fun little match here which was much better than I was expecting.

Ted DiBiase says he’ll beat Jimmy Snuka because he’s cultured and Snuka is a savage.

Greg Valentine vs. Hercules

Ronnie Garvin is guest ring announcer after being fired from being a referee. He takes a ton of shots at Valentine (“Weighing in at 249lbs…..but he looks about 30lbs heavier and wears a robe with cheap rhinestones.”) since Valentine got him suspended in the first place. Hercules jumps Valentine to start and powerslams him down for two. A quick rollup gets two for Greg before they head to the floor for nothing of note. Back in and Valentine pounds him down with some elbows but the Figure Four is broken up. Hecules suplexes him down but gets rolled up with Valentine’s feet on the ropes for the fast pin.

Rating: D. This was all about furthering Garvin vs. Valentine with the stuff before the match and a bit we’ll get to in a second. I’m no Garvin fan at all but this was an amusing angle given where you could turn your brain off and laugh at some stupid jokes for a few minutes every show. There’s nothing wrong with comic relief and having a talented guy like Valentine out there made it a bit easier to sit through.

Post match Garvin announces Hercules as the winner, which apparently is good enough to get Valentine disqualified. Like I said, this is the time to turn your brain off.

Randy Savage, Zeus and Sister Sherri gather round a cauldron and predict bad futures for Hogan, Beefcake and Liz. The late 80s were weird in case you were wondering.

Ted DiBiase vs. Jimmy Snuka

No story here as they’re just out there to fill in a few minutes before the main event. Snuka headbutts DiBiase to the floor before the bell and avoids a charging Ted to send him into Virgil for a big crash. An atomic drop sends DiBiase to the floor and the match slows down a bit. Back in and Snuka can’t get high enough for his reverse leapfrog so he sends DiBiase into the corner to keep control. Ted goes to the eyes to get a moment’s breather but gets caught by a shoulder to put him back down.

A quick stun gun sends Snuka into the top rope and Ted can stomp away like a good 80s heel. DiBiase works on the back with knees to the spine and a backbreaker for no cover but a middle rope elbow misses. Jimmy slams Ted down and hits a middle rope headbutt but Virgil breaks up the Superfly Splash. Snuka chases him around on the floor but gets sent into the post by DiBiase for the countout.

Rating: D. Another lame match here and I’m not sure why DiBiase couldn’t get a pin. Either way, the match was there to give the fans a breather from that EPIC Hercules vs. Valentine heat before the main event. Snuka was still a fan favorite so having him out there wasn’t the worst idea in the world.

Post match Snuka hits the Superfly on Virgil.

Hogan and Beefcake talk about riding motorcycles across a river (just go with it) with Liz riding on the back of Hogan’s bike. Savage and Zeus weren’t mentioned at all.

Genius recites a poem about Summerslam, saying he thinks Zeus and Savage (his real brother) will win.

Zeus/Randy Savage vs. Brutus Beefcake/Hulk Hogan

Before we get going, Liz gets her own full entrance as the secret weapon. It’s a brawl to start but Hogan can’t hurt Zeus. He goes to the eyes but can’t slam Zeus down so the monster chokes Hulk down. Beefcake tries to dive on Zeus but gets caught in midair. Now it’s a bearhug on Hogan but here’s Savage off a tag. Why in the world would you change when you had Hogan in trouble like that? A top rope ax handle gets two for Randy and it’s off to the sleeper.

Hogan elbows out of it and hits some shoulder blocks but Zeus knees him in the back to slow him down. Back to Zeus for another bearhug which takes Hogan down to the mat for some two counts. It’s back to Savage to snap Hogan’s throat over the top rope and a suplex gets two. Savage misses some elbow drops and there’s the hot tag to Beefcake. A high knee gets two on Savage and Beefcake hooks his sleeper. Savage rams him into the middle buckle and it’s off to Zeus, but Brutus puts him in a sleeper as well.

Randy breaks up the hold with Sherri’s loaded purse but he suckers Hogan into the ring instead of covering. Hogan stops Savage from attacking Liz but Beefcake is still in big trouble. Back to Zeus for some choking on Beefcake until the referee makes the save. Savage comes back in but walks into a double clothesline to put both guys down. The hot tag brings in Hogan to clean house but Sherri trips Hulk up to give Savage control again.

The big elbow hits but Hogan is up before there’s any cover. Savage runs away and it’s time for the showdown with Zeus. Hogan pounds away and finally puts Zeus down to one knee. Liz takes out Sherri and Beefcake intercepts Savage, causing him to drop the loaded purse. Hogan blasts Zeus in the face with the purse, slams him down and drops the leg for the pin.

Rating: D+. Amazingly enough, a non-wrestler like Zeus wasn’t capable of having a good match on any size of a stage. Beefcake and Savage were just window dressing here, but in this case the window dressing carried the match for his team. Zeus was just horrible here and was basically the original promotional stunt for a wrestling movie, which never works.

Post match Liz cuts Sherri’s hair. Much posing ends the show.

Overall Rating: C+. There’s a lot of bad stuff here but the good matches are more than good enough to make up for the lame short ones. The crowd is VERY hot all night to lift the show even higher up which helped a lot. The main event was horrible and while the cage match that blew it off a few months later was better, this is the match that should have been the big deal. Still though, the show is worth checking out but you should fast forward a few of the matches.

Ratings Comparison

Hart Foundation vs. Brain Busters

Original: B+

Redo: B

Honky Tonk Man vs. Dusty Rhodes

Original: F

Redo: D-

Mr. Perfect vs. Red Rooster

Original: C+

Redo: D

Rick Martel/Fabulous Rougeaus vs. Tito Santana/Rockers

Original: B+

Redo: B

Ultimate Warrior vs. Rick Rude

Original: A-

Redo: B

Jim Duggan/Demolition vs. Andre the Giant/Twin Towers

Original: C+

Redo: C

Hercules vs. Greg Valentine

Original: F-

Redo: D

Ted DiBiase vs. Jimmy Snuka

Original: D

Redo: D

Hulk Hogan/Brutus Beefcake vs. Randy Savage/Zeus

Original: B-

Redo: D+

Overall Rating

Original: B-

Redo: C+

About the same this time.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/07/23/history-of-summerslam-count-up-1989-gather-round-the-cauldron/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

 

Wrestlemania VI
Date: April 1, 1990
Location: Skydome, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 67,678
Commentators: Jesse Ventura, Gorilla Monsoon

This year’s main event, billed as the Ultimate Challenge, is more than enough to carry the show. It’s title for title with Hogan’s WWF World and Warrior’s Intercontinental Titles both on the line in one of the only times that Hogan would lower himself to go after the midcard title. There’s nothing else on this card worth mentioning so let’s get to it.

The opening video is a really cool concept as it shows Hogan and Warrior as constellations in the sky. They’re the most powerful forces in the universe and they face off tonight. I’ve always liked that.

Robert Goulet sings O Canada for a change of pace from the previous years.

The arena looks much brighter and more modern this year. It’s a striking change.

Koko B. Ware vs. Rick Martel

The ring carts are back for unfortunately their final appearance. This should be an interesting dynamic as Martel is from Canada (though that might not be very well known here and he’s billed from Florida) but is a heel now, as well as a model. We actually get an old school weapons check but Martel jumps Ware like a true villain should. Koko’s middle rope cross body gets two and things speed way up. A backdrop and clothesline send Martel outside but he comes back in and throws Martel over the top. See, real Canadians only need one move where Americans need two. It’s a patriotism thing.

Back in and we get a light BORING chant. Come on people we’re not even ten minutes in. Martel gets two off a suplex and starts in on the back to set up his Boston crab. Koko shrugs off a ram into the buckle and starts back with shoulders and dropkicks. No one ever accused him of having a complex offense. Ware tries another cross body out of the corner but Martel is ready for him this time. I love it when someone learns during a match. The Boston crab makes Koko give up at 5:30.

Rating: D+. Pretty nothing match here and another odd choice for an opener. It’s not a good sign when they’re already into the filler matches and we’re only a single match into the show. Martel was fine for a midcarder who could work a good match and Koko could fire up a crowd but this was a glorified squash for Rick.

Gene refers to the Colossal Connection (Andre the Giant and Haku, the Tag Team Champions) as the Colostomy Connection. Heenan: “Well if you want to talk evacuation…” Basically the champs are ready for their rematch with Demolition. Gene: “The Colossal Connection: they’re anything but regular guys.”

Ax says he wants to chop Andre down and shout TIMBER! That’s not bad, but Smash wants to throw Andre in the back of a semitrailer and drive him off a cliff. Sean Mooney: “This is starting to sound like a demolition derby!” Ax: “Now you’re getting the idea.”

Tag Team Titles: Demolition vs. Colossal Connection

The Connection is defending but don’t even get an entrance. It’s a brawl to start and the champs take over until it settles down to Smash vs. Haku. This goes better for Demolition as Smash wins a slugout and brings in Ax, who makes the mistake of taunting Andre. Well to be fair he might have just wanted a Machines reunion (Ax had been one of the Machines back in 1986 when Andre was suspended).

Andre’s interference actually doesn’t get them very far though so it’s Haku poking Smash in the eye to take over. A nice thrust to the throat puts Ax down and Haku hits a backbreaker to keep him in trouble. Andre sneaks in a headbutt (how can a giant sneak in anything?) to give Haku a near fall and a thumb to the eye stops Ax’s comeback. We get a wide shot of the arena and as usual it’s quite the visual. It’s off to the nerve hold but Smash makes the mistake of trying to come in, allowing Andre to choke with the tag rope in the corner.

There’s a shoulder breaker for two but Haku charges into a raised boot in the corner. The hot tag brings in Smash and the fans are way behind this. Something like a cross body/ax handle get two for Smash and a double clothesline puts Andre down in the corner. Haku superkicks Andre by mistake to tie him up in the ropes, setting up the Decapitator to give Demolition the titles back at 9:15. Andre was never legally in the match.

Rating: C+. I had a good time with this and the fans were WAY into Demolition, even though this was pretty much their last hurrah. Andre was beyond a shell of himself at this point and it was sad to see him just standing on the apron and getting in a shot where he could. This would also be his last televised match in the WWF and that’s probably best for everyone all around.

Post match Heenan loses his mind and blames Andre for the loss, poking him in the chest, dropping audible F bombs, and SLAPPING ANDRE IN THE FACE. Jesse and Gorilla think Heenan is about to die and Andre knocks him silly with a right hand. Haku’s superkick is easily caught and Andre beats him up too. Heenan and Haku try to get on the cart but Andre pulls them off and beats them up again before taking the cart for himself in one last face turn for the road.

A new monster called Earthquake (6’8 and 468lbs, he’s from Canada and was called Canadian Earthquake until this show for obvious reasons) and his manager Jimmy Hart predict an earthquake right here in Toronto. Earthquake promises that Hercules will feel the tremors.

Earthquake vs. Hercules

Earthquake’s sneak attack doesn’t work and Hercules hammers away with left hands before dodging a charge in the corner. Back in and Earthquake asks for a test of strength which might actually work for him. Neither guy can get the advantage so Hercules tries some shoulders and the big guy (as opposed to the guy who isn’t 6’1 and 270lbs) is staggered. Like a moron, Hercules tries the backbreaker, meaning a torture rack, and Earthquake elbows him in the back of the head. The Earthquake splash (running sitdown splash) is enough to pin Hercules at 4:53.

Rating: D. No one ever accused Hercules of being smart but come on now with that backbreaker attempt. Hercules would be moved into a heel tag team soon after this and that was certainly better for everyone involved. He played his role well enough and was a good choice for a midcard power wrestler.

Earthquake gives him another splash for good measure. Hercules becomes one of the first victims to not leave on a stretcher.

Celebrity gossip columnist Rona Barrett (they’re REALLY stretching for celebrities now) interviews Elizabeth and asks where she’s been. Basically Elizabeth has been gone for most of the year, save for a few appearances here and there. She says if she comes back, it will be in a much more physical role.

Brutus Beefcake is looking at Mr. Perfect’s record and sees that it’s really impressive. No one is perfect though and that record isn’t going to look as good after their match.

Brutus Beefcake vs. Mr. Perfect

Perfect now has The Genius (Randy Savage’s real life brother Lanny Poffo, a talented wrestler in his own right) as his manager. Jesse: “I can’t lose in Hollywood. I’ve got Paul Newman’s eyes, Kurt Douglas’ chin and Robert Duvall’s haircut.” This is a result of Beefcake beating Genius at the Royal Rumble and then getting attacked by Mr. Perfect, which the fans are just expected to know because it’s not mentioned by the commentators. They slug it out in the corner to start until Beefcake knocks him out to the floor. Back in and Brutus atomic drops him right back to the floor.

It’s time to start working on Perfect’s back with some hard whips for the awesome selling. We see TV legend Mary Tyler Moore in the front row, making this show a hundred times classier. Genius gets on the apron for a distraction and drops his metal scroll so Perfect can knock him out. The neck snap gets a slow two as it’s time to talk about Mr. Perfect’s dad Larry Hennig, who even Gorilla sounds scared of. Beefcake grabs Perfect’s ankle ala Hogan before catapulting Perfect face first into the post, ala almost every match Perfect ever has, for the big surprise pin at 7:47.

Rating: C. It was better than Beefcake’s match last year but that was a really sudden ending, especially for Perfect’s first televised loss. Perfect was in a weird spot at this point as he clearly wasn’t a World Title contender but he wasn’t around the Intercontinental Title picture yet. Brutus continues to be more charisma than ability and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Post match Brutus puts Genius to sleep and cuts his hair to really end this feud.

Clip from the Royal Rumble of Roddy Piper and Bad News Brown eliminating each other and brawling to the back. Then Brown called it a skirt and you know it’s on.

Here’s the infamous part of this show as we get an interview from Roddy Piper, who is in half blackface. The white side is Hot Rod and the black side is Hot Scot. I think this was supposed to be a Michael Jackson thing (he even does a little Billie Jean) but it’s far more bizarre than anything else. Piper says he has a big mouth and Brown has bug eyes.

Roddy Piper vs. Bad News Brown

The bell rings and let’s look at the crowd for the first twenty seconds or so. Piper dances a lot and they start grappling as this is another brawl instead of a match. The referee splits them up and Piper gets two off a cross body in probably the only wrestling move of the match. Brown starts punching and knocks Piper out of the corner before stopping for a nerve hold.

An elbow gets two for Brown but Roddy goes Three Stooges by poking him in the eye. The referee checks on Piper for something, allowing Brown to expose the buckle. Piper puts on a glove (more Michael Jackson stuff) and a bunch of right hands have Brown in trouble. They fight to the floor where Brown punches the post. Piper misses a chair shot though and it’s a double countout at 6:47.

Rating: C. This was a nutty brawl but everyone remembers the body paint instead of the match and that’s probably what Piper was shooting for. It’s not a good match or anything but it’s still entertaining and that’s something this show has been needing. Brown was an untapped talent but his character was years ahead of its time and didn’t really fit in the early 90s. Put him in the Attitude Era as an angry MMA character and it would have been gold.

They fight to the back as security can’t break it up.

Steve Allen (comedian and former host of the Tonight Show) is in the shower with his piano to play the Russian national anthem. After a few joke tries to get on the Bolsheviks’ nerves, he promises one from Mother Russia but a toilet flushes instead. Eh cute enough.

Hart Foundation vs. Bolsheviks

The Russians try to sing but get jumped, setting up the Hart Attack for the pin on Boris at 18 seconds for a new Wrestlemania record. The fans love it and the Harts are ready to challenge Demolition.

Wrestlemania VII is coming to the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum! No it isn’t but at least the ad was energetic.

Tito Santana vs. Barbarian

Santana is back to where he was before Strike Force which is probably best for everyone involved. Barbarian has Heenan in his corner. Jesse’s suggestion for Tito: give Barbarian one of his enchiladas and win by countout two minutes into the match. After Barbarian takes an early break on the floor he has to kick out of a cross body at two. Tito tries what looked to be a hurricanrana but opts to punch Barbarian down instead of flipping him over.

Barbarian kicks him in the face and hits a shoulder breaker but misses a middle rope elbow. Some dropkicks and a middle rope ax handle won’t put Barbarian down so Tito blasts him with the flying forearm. Heenan gets the foot on the rope though and offers a distraction leading to Barbarian decapitating Tito with a top rope clothesline for the pin at 4:33.

Rating: D+. I’ve seen worse than this but it still wasn’t much more than a Superstars main event. I don’t think anyone saw Barbarian as anything more than a midcard act but that’s why you bring in someone like Tito. If nothing else, that clothesline from Barbarian made the match worth its time.

We recap Randy Savage/Queen Sherri vs. Dusty Rhodes/Sapphire in a battle of royalty (Savage had won the crown late last year and had debuted Sherri as his Queen) vs. the common people (Dusty was known as the Common Man and Sapphire was his dancing manager). This started back on the Brother Love Show at the Royal Rumble where Love had insulted Sapphire and praised Sherri, triggering a brawl between then. The guys got involved and now we’re going to have the first mixed tag match in company history.

Dusty and Sapphire say they’ve got the crown jewel to deal with the King and Queen.

Dusty Rhodes/Sapphire vs. Randy Savage/Queen Sherri

The genders have to match here. Savage is now in the long tights that he would wear for the rest of his career. Before the match, Dusty unveils the crown jewel as Miss Elizabeth to send Savage through the roof. Savage and Dusty start and Jesse begs the cameras not to film from behind Sapphire. Dusty throws Sherri at Savage and it’s off to Sapphire, who certainly isn’t a wrestler but does a decent airplane spin. Sherri smacks her in the face but can’t get a slam. It’s back to the guys and Dusty is kneed out to the floor so Sherri can get in a right hand.

There’s the ax handle from Savage but Sapphire gets in the way of a second. Jesse: “NAIL HER MACHO!” Ventura almost gets his wish as Savage shoves her down before throwing Dusty back inside. Sherri distracts the referee so Savage can get in a scepter shot to the back (Jesse: “DING!”).

Sherri’s top rope splash gets two on Rhodes as the rules are thrown out the window. Sapphire comes back in again (Jesse: “She’s a little bottom heavy isn’t she?”) and throws Sherri to the floor but Elizabeth throws her right back in. Everything breaks down again and Sherri reaches for Liz, only to get shoved into a rollup from Sapphire for the pin at 7:31.

Rating: C-. The match was bad but it was more than entertaining enough to get by. Dusty was the kind of guy who could make anything entertaining and his chemistry with Savage was always fantastic. It’s not a good match or anything but it’s the kind of entertainment that works just well enough to get by.

Dusty, Sapphire and Elizabeth dance. This was one of Elizabeth’s final appearances for a long time.

Intermission time.

Wrestlemania VII ad.

Gene is with Bobby and compares him to a visiting mother in law. Heenan rants about Andre turning on the family. Gene: “Where do you have the ba…..the nerve to slap Andre the Giant?” Heenan says he’s starting a new Heenan Family with members who will listen.

Rona Barrett implies she has an adult video of Jesse but it’s not allowed to be shown. This is never mentioned again.

Savage says he and Sherri aren’t done with Dusty and Elizabeth.

Demolition is ready for the Hart Foundation.

Jesse and Gorilla throw it back to ringside but it’s off to a Hogan interview instead. That’s a rare miss for Gorilla. Or it’s an edit.

Hogan talks about arriving in Toronto and how tonight could be the final night of Warrior’s life if he breathes his final breath into Hulk’s body. He can save the Warrior and his Little Warriors from the darkness and bring them into the light. That covers his annual “I can save your soul” line but it reached a new level of insanity, even for him. Hogan makes sure to point out that it doesn’t matter whether you win or whether you lose, which pretty much spoiled the ending.

Warrior throws Sean Mooney out of his locker room because he doesn’t deserve to breathe the same air that Warrior and Hogan breathe. The Warriors have been questioning where Hulk Hogan is taking them and perhaps he should step into the darkness. The darkness is nothing to fear because Hogan has lived the last five Wrestlemanias to reach this moment.

Warrior comes not to destroy Hulkamania but to bring the Warriors and Hulkamaniacs together as one. The strength of the Hulkamaniacs is coming through the pores of his skin. He has come to do no one no harm but to take what they both believe in to places it shall never have been. Uh…..yeah that’s what I was thinking too.

Rockers vs. Orient Express

The Express is Sato and Tanaka, a Japanese team (Tanaka was from Hawaii but it’s an old wrestling trope) and this could be very entertaining stuff. Tanaka superkicks Marty to start but a quick powerslam is enough to bring Shawn in for some patented double teaming. The Rockers hit stereo planchas to the floor and the fans are right back into this.

Back in and Fuji low bridges Marty to the floor with his cane (some things never change) and the villains take over. Some double stomping have Marty in even more trouble and it’s time for martial arts. Marty lands on his feet out of a backdrop though and brings in Shawn for a (mostly missed) double superkick. To be fair the Rockers are probably hung over again as they so often were.

Tanaka cheats from the apron and it’s a big flying forearm to put Shawn down again. It’s time for the traditional Japanese nerve hold from Sato but a clothesline gets Shawn out of trouble. Marty comes back in to clean house and everything breaks down again. Fuji breaks up the top rope double fist drop though and Marty goes after him with the cane. The distraction works though as Sato throws salt in Marty’s eyes and it’s a countout at 7:35.

Rating: C+. These teams would have far better matches together, including a classic at the 1991 Royal Rumble, but this is still more entertaining than almost anything else on the show so far. This was a perfect choice for the first match back from intermission as they hit the ground running and brought the crowd right back to life. Well done.

Steve Allen is with Rhythm and Blues (Honky Tonk Man and Greg Valentine, now as a regular tag team and also a band) who will be performing tonight. Allen thinks this is going to be as big as when Tiny Tim played the Vince Lombardi rest stop.

Dino Bravo vs. Jim Duggan

Duggan comes out with an American flag to face the Canadian wrestler. Jesse sees it for the stupid idea that it is but of course Monsoon thinks it’s fine. Gorilla continues his rare trend of stupid comments as he thinks Earthquake should be ejected because you can’t have a wrestler’s license and a manager’s license at the same time. Why he never brought this up all the times Heenan got in the ring isn’t clear but maybe it’s the Canadian air.

Bravo shoves him around to start but Duggan punches him in the face for his efforts. A bunch of right hands in the corner have Bravo in even more trouble but he stops to shove the referee. Jesse: “HE SHOVED A REFEREE!” Gorilla: “Really? I didn’t see that.” Jesse: “….what.” It wasn’t even a question but rather Jesse just being annoyed at Monsoon. Earthquake gets in some cheap shots from the floor and Bravo takes over.

Like a truly stupid villain though, he tries to ram Duggan’s head into the buckle and Jim comes back with even more right hands. He’s nice enough to mix it up with some clotheslines but Earthquake breaks up the Three Point Clothesline (which is totally different than the regular clotheslines. This one is out of a three point stance you see). The referee yells at Earthquake and it’s a 2×4 shot to Bravo for the pin at 4:15.

Rating: D-. I can’t believe I’m saying this but Monsoon was really getting on my nerves here. He came off like a heel commentator in reverse with the same lack of common sense or logic that you almost never heard from him, at least not in one match. The match itself was what you would expect from these two but at least it was short.

Earthquake sits on Duggan’s chest three times in a row for some revenge.

We recap Ted DiBiase vs. Jake Roberts, which started last year and is still going now. They’ve been attacking each other ever since and Jake has had his eyes on the Million Dollar Title.

Roberts says this is the biggest match of DiBiase’s career because everything Ted stands for is on the line. Jake brings up Ted humiliating people who needed the money he was offering them and promises to humiliate DiBiase for a change.

Million Dollar Title: Jake Roberts vs. Ted DiBiase

DiBiase is defending of course but the title is only kind of official. Jake starts fast with a shoulder and knee lift but DiBiase bails to the floor to run from the DDT. They do the same sequence again and the stalling continues. Jake gets him back inside and starts working on the arm with a bunch of knee drops followed by a hammerlock. Gorilla and Jesse argue over what Jake is working on until Jake leverages DiBiase out to the floor in a nice counter.

The running knee lift misses though as the announcers keep up a running joke about Gorilla eating a lot of hot dogs. They’ve been going on about that for three matches now and it’s not very funny. DiBiase slaps on a front facelock and the fans start doing the Wave. Ted throws him to the floor as they’re not trying to do much as the fans are distracted. Back in and a piledriver to Jake calms things down but DiBiase takes his time to cover so it’s only good for two.

The Million Dollar Dream puts Jake down but he gets a foot on the rope for the save. It’s time for the comeback and the fans want the DDT. The short clothesline looks to set it up but Jake takes his time as well, allowing Virgil to pull Roberts to the floor. DiBiase follows him outside and slaps on the Million Dollar Dream again, which is good enough to give DiBiase the countout win at 11:53. Apparently that gives DiBiase the title back (not sanctioned so it can change hands on a countout) but was Jake even champion? Jake didn’t came out with the title but they’re treating it like a new champion.

Rating: C. More boring than bad here but that was often the case between these two. The Wave part in the middle didn’t do the match any favors and the match never really recovered. They needed to pick things up and stop waiting around so much but the match could have been far worse.

DiBiase holds up the title and Gorilla freaks out. Gorilla: “He doesn’t deserve it!” Jesse: “He paid for it!” Gorilla: “So?” Jesse: “People don’t deserve the things they pay for?” Also of note here: you can hear DiBiase’s music echoing through the dome for a weird effect. Jake goes after DiBiase and gets the DDT as Virgil runs off with the belt. Roberts gives away some of the money DiBiase dropped, including $100 to Mary Tyler Moore. He gets the snake out but Virgil pulls DiBiase out to the floor.

Slick recaps the Twin Towers splitting, which started when Big Boss Man wouldn’t take money from DiBiase to get the Million Dollar Belt back because he lost it fair and square. So Jake WAS champion coming in? Anyway Akeem promises to crush Boss Man.

Boss Man calls DiBiase scum and he doesn’t take money from people like that. He’s poor but proud of a lot of things, including being an American. Again, shouldn’t that make him a heel here?

Akeem vs. Big Boss Man

Boss Man’s face is terrifying as he rides the cart to the ring, even though he’s the good guy here. Before the bell, DiBiase pops out and attacks Boss Man, including sending him into the post. The referee is fine with all this and counts two off Akeem’s splash anyway. Something like an atomic drop out of the corner gets Boss Man out of trouble and he whips Akeem from buckle to buckle. The Boss Man Slam (and a good one at that) is enough to put Akeem away at 1:50.

The fans don’t like Rhythm and Blues but Mary Tyler Moore likes Wrestlemania.

Here are Rhythm and Blues to perform, complete with a gold record of Hunka Hunka Hunka Honky Love which hasn’t even been released yet. Of note: they’re driven out in a pink Cadillac with future WCW World Champion Diamond Dallas Page driving (it was his car). They even have Honkyettes to really make this amazing. The song is horrible as you would expect, even with real musician Jimmy Hart there as backup. Some vendors show up after the song but they’re the Bushwhackers in disguise. House is cleaned and the instruments are destroyed, meaning the house is dirty again.

The new attendance record of 67,678 (easy to remember at least) is announced. This is done in about twenty seconds.

Rick Rude vs. Jimmy Snuka

Steve Allen jumps in on commentary. Rude, with his hair slicked back and much shorter than in recent years, attacks from behind to start but Snuka holds the rope to avoid a dropkick. We get a hip swivel from the Superfly and a headbutt to the ribs has Rude in more trouble than it should. There’s a flying headbutt to put Rude down again but he’s able to break up the Superfly Splash. Jimmy misses the middle rope headbutt though and the Rude Awakening is enough for the pin at 3:50.

Rating: D. Just a quick match to put Rude over as a tough guy before we FINALLY get to the main event. Snuka was nothing more than a jobber to the stars at this point and he still did that job quite well. Not a good match or anything but what do you expect in the death slot before the biggest match of the year?

We recap the main event with a clip from the Royal Rumble. Warrior and Hogan nearly came to blows after Warrior hit him by accident in a tag match on Saturday Night’s Main Event. That was about it for their drama though as they respect each other coming in.

WWF World Title/Intercontinental Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Ultimate Warrior

Title for title. The fans are WAY into this one as they come to life more than they have all night long. Warrior comes out first and stands on the corner as Hogan makes his entrance for an awesome visual. The crowd is totally split here. I don’t mean the WWE definition of totally split where it’s 70/30 at best. I mean it’s dead even here with both guys being equally loved.

They lock up to start and both guys are shoved into the corner. We get the iconic test of strength with Hogan going down first, only to fight back up and take Warrior down. They trade slams but it’s Warrior getting the better of it and clotheslining Hogan to the floor. Hulk comes up holding his knee and says he’s blown it out. He gets back in and Warrior kicks away at the knee but Hulk stops selling it about ten seconds later and it’s never mentioned again.

Hulk comes back with right hands and a clothesline in the corner as the fans are losing their minds over every single move. Off to a front facelock on Warrior (Jesse: “Ask Richard Belzer!” Belzer was a talk show host that Hogan put in a front facelock and knocked him unconscious, leading to a lawsuit. That’s quite the edgy reference.) before going back to just punching Warrior in the head. We hit the chinlock on Warrior and the fans are even into this.

A belly to back suplex gets two on Warrior and it’s back to the chinlock. Back up again and it’s a double clothesline to drop both guys. Jesse gets it right again by saying Hogan should be in better shape because he’s been in control for so long. Warrior gets up and starts shaking the ropes, setting up the running clotheslines. A suplex gets two on Hulk and we hit the bearhug. Two arm drops mean it’s time for Hogan’s comeback, only to have Warrior run over the referee. Warrior hits a pair of top rope ax handles but misses a shoulder and gets driven face first into the mat.

There’s no one to count so Warrior belly to back suplexes him for the same result. Hogan gets a VERY slow two off a rollup as the referee is only halfway back into it. Warrior is knocked to the floor but comes back in for the gorilla press. The splash connects but Hogan kicks out at two and it’s Hulk Up time. Warrior takes the big boot but the legdrop only hits mat, setting up the second splash to give Warrior the pin and the title at 22:50.

Rating: A. It’s still a classic. This is a match I’ve seen probably two dozen times over the years and I never get tired of it. The crowd carries it up to a higher level but it’s still a great battle of the titans on its own. Hogan losing clean is still a huge deal and felt like it was going to be a new era. We’ll get to that later but the match more than holds up and is one of the biggest matches in wrestling history.

Hogan is stunned and dejected at his first ever clean loss in the company. The referee brings Warrior both titles and the camera focuses on just Warrior so the WWF World Title can be returned to ringside, allowing Hogan to go get it. He hands it to Warrior and endorses the new champion before riding away in the card, leaving Warrior to celebrate to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Just like in the main event, the crowd carries this show far higher. The show is roughly the same length as the previous year’s show but it’s far less boring and energetic to make the time go by faster. It definitely needed to be trimmed down but I can live with a long energetic show over a long and boring show where they’re just killing time until a not as great main event. This was a good kickoff to the new decade and a very fun show.

Ratings Comparison

Rick Martel vs. Koko B. Ware

Original: D

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D+

Demolition vs. Colossal Connection

Original: C-

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: C+

Earthquake vs. Hercules

Original: D-

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

Brutus Beefcake vs. Mr. Perfect

Original: C

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: C

Roddy Piper vs. Bad News Brown

Original: A

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: C

Hart Foundation vs. Bolsheviks

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

Barbarian vs. Tito Santana

Original: D

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: D+

Dusty Rhodes/Sapphire vs. Randy Savage/Sensational Sherri

Original: D-

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: C-

Orient Express vs. Rockers

Original: C

2013 Redo: C+

2015 Redo: C+

Jim Duggan vs. Dino Bravo

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D-

Ted Dibiase vs. Jake Roberts

Original: C

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: C

Big Boss Man vs. Akeem

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

Rick Rude vs. Jimmy Snuka

Original: C-

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

Ultimate Warrior vs. Hulk Hogan

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A

2015 Redo: A

Overall Rating

Original: C+

2013 Redo: C+

2015 Redo: C

Why can’t I make up my mind on Brown vs. Piper?

Here’s the original review:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/13/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-6-epitome-of-a-one-match-show/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/15/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-vi-the-ultimate-challenge/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Wrestlemania V
Date: April 2, 1989
Location: Trump Plaza, Atlantic City, New Jersey
Attendance: 18,946
Commentators: Jesse Ventura, Gorilla Monsoon

It’s back to the same arena as last year for an even longer show. Yes after the marathon that was Wrestlemania IV, this show is actually a bit longer despite there being no tournament. The main event scene is really just a sequel to last year’s match though so the same setting makes sense. Let’s get to it.

WWF Women’s Champion Rockin Robin (half sister of Jake Roberts) sings America the Beautiful and does a decent job. Jesse of course isn’t impressed and doesn’t bring up Donald Trump in the front row again this year.

King Haku vs. Hercules

This is as high as Haku ever got on his own as succeeded Race as the King due to Race’s injuries. This isn’t for the crown though and Hercules is now a face (Heenan had tried to sell him to DiBiase, who referred to Hercules as a slave. This didn’t sit well and Hercules claimed that he was his own man) in powder blue trunks. Haku jumps him from behind to start but Hercules comes back by throwing Haku into the air and just letting him crash to the mat.

Heenan’s advice doesn’t do Haku much good as Hercules drops some elbows but stops to walk around. A second Heenan distraction works a bit better though and Haku gets in some cheap shots to take over. Back in and we hit a bearhug on Hercules to fill in some time but he breaks free and gets two off a cross body. Some clotheslines set up something from the top but Haku gets up a good looking superkick to knock Hercules silly. Back up and Hercules grabs a belly to back suplex but rolls his shoulder up to pin Haku at 6:53.

Rating: D+. Not the worst match here but this was a strange choice for an opener. I mean did they really think that it made sense to push Hercules as something special? At the time they were actually pushing him as a third Mega Power, which meant “the guy that would take a fall in a six man” but it was really just in name only. This was a pretty pedestrian power match but that superkick to stop Hercules was a nice touch. Haku always had a good superkick and it was cool to see him use it, even in a nothing match like this.

The latest pretty boy tag team called the Rockers refer to themselves tag team specialists and say they’re ready for the Twin Towers (Akeem, formerly known as the One Man Gang and now a dancing African along with the 6’6 380lb Big Boss Man).

Rockers vs. Twin Towers

The Rockers are hungover beyond belief here. Boss Man goes after Marty (Jannetty, partner of Shawn Michaels in case you don’t know the Rockers) and gets decked by Shawn from behind. Shawn punches Akeem to get the big man’s attention before doing the same thing to the Boss Man. The Rockers start in on Akeem’s arm but he throws Marty into a bearhug from Boss Man and adds a standing splash to crush Jannetty between the two of them.

More splashes connect and the Towers’ manager Slick says they need a black referee. Why he wants this isn’t clear but he was shouting it pretty loudly. Marty finally avoids a charge to send the Towers together and Shawn gets the tag to help double team Akeem. They whip him across the ring over and over before a double shoulder gets two. It finally gets down to one on one and Akeem just ends Shawn with one of the hardest clotheslines I’ve ever seen. Jesse: “I think he irritated Akeem!”

Boss Man misses his top rope splash though and the Rockers double dropkick Akeem to the floor. They mostly miss stereo missile dropkicks to Boss Man and everything breaks down with Boss Man catching a diving Shawn in a spinning powerbomb. That awesome landing isn’t enough so it’s Air Africa (running splash) from Akeem for the pin at 8:05.

Rating: C+. This was fun for how well the Rockers bumped for the monsters here. That clothesline and the powerbomb to Shawn were particularly awesome as Shawn looked dead off both moves. The Twin Towers had just come off feuding with Hogan/Savage but for some reason it never led to the Tag Team Titles or even a serious shot at them.

DiBiase loves getting to be around the rich people in Atlantic City, even if he’s wrestling a commoner like Brutus Beefcake.

Ted DiBiase vs. Brutus Beefcake

DiBiase’s Million Dollar Title (he couldn’t win the WWF World Title so he made his own) isn’t on the line because Brutus hasn’t earned a shot. Ted shakes hands with Trump before coming in and Donald seems intrigued by the belt. Brutus has his awesome theme music now and it makes his entrance a lot better. Virgil stays in the ring for the first minute or so of the match while DiBiase talks trash to Beefcake.

Brutus gets tired of waiting and backdrops DiBiase out to the floor, followed by some slams and a clothesline to put him right back to the floor. This really hasn’t been a good return to Wrestlemania for DiBiase. He’s already gone from the main event to the third match on the card and now he’s getting beaten up.

Back in and even more right hands stagger Ted until Virgil trips Brutus to give the boss an opening. A middle rope elbow gets two for DiBiase and a suplex sets up the Million Dollar Dream. Brutus grabs the rope and makes his comeback, sending Ted face first into the buckle ten straight times. DiBiase finally knocks Brutus to the floor where Virgil gets in a few shots. Ted follows and they brawl to a double countout at 9:57.

Rating: D+. Well that happened. There wasn’t much of a story to this one and they just did moves to each other for about ten minutes. It’s strange as these two would work well together with Brutus’ great charisma being able to power a sweet comeback. Brutus was never great but the fans loved him and he was adequate enough to work a passable and fun match. Unfortunately that wasn’t the case here but at least they tried.

Post match Brutus cleans house with the hedge clippers to claim a moral victory. As usual, Jesse is on point by calling that assault with a deadly weapon.

Earlier today the Bushwhackers were at the annual Wrestlemania brunch and ate a lot. This isn’t particularly funny.

Fabulous Rougeau Brothers vs. Bushwhackers

The Rougeaus are now managed by Jimmy Hart and All American Boys from Memphis. Butch trips on the way to the ring (to be fair the aisle has steps) and Jesse accuses Gorilla of being drunk in the casino the other night. The Bushwhackers steal Jimmy’s jacket but the Rougeaus save it from being destroyed. So they are good for something. Jimmy gets inside to collect his jacket and gets crushed between the brothers to send him right back to the floor.

Luke and Raymond officially get going as Gorilla questions the Rougeaus being Americans just because they moved here. Jesse: “So as far as you’re concerned, tear down the Statue of Liberty?” That escalated quite quickly. The brothers double team to take over as Butch is being forced out of the ring and we get to the bizarre part of the match (yes the bizarre part of a Bushwhackers’ match). Raymond lifts Luke up for a slam and Luke intentionally rubs Raymond’s crotch. His hand moves up and down multiple times and that’s all it could have been. I’m guessing it was a rib but it’s quite the jarring visual.

Jacques puts on an abdominal stretch and Raymond flips in over the top for a superkick to Luke’s ribs. They stop to pose though, allowing Luke to crawl over to tag Butch, setting up the Battering Ram (Butch holds Luke’s head and drives him into the ribs) and a double stomach breaker to pin Raymond at 5:09.

Rating: D-. This was a comedy match minus most of the comedy. The Bushwhackers are the definition of a comedy team for kids and there’s nothing wrong with that. These teams feuded for the better part of ever and it was the same result almost every time. You could have cut this out and no one would have missed a thing. Well Raymond might have without that slam but I don’t want to think about that anymore.

The Bushwhackers lick interviewer Sean Mooney on their way up the aisle. Mooney: “Words cannot describe what it’s like to be licked by a Bushwhacker.” I speak from experience to agree with him.

Mr. Perfect vs. Blue Blazer

This is the debut of Perfect’s trademark singlet. Perfect trips on the same step that got Butch. Blazer is Owen Hart in a mask, meaning this has potential to be really good. Feeling out process to start with Perfect taking him into the corner and slapping him right in the mask. Blazer will have none of that and dropkicks Perfect over the top with Perfect doing his awesome bumping to get outside. A baseball slide (nowhere near common yet) staggers Perfect even more and there’s a second dropkick to put him down again.

Blazer’s top rope splash hits knees and Perfect finally gets a breather. These are quite the high spots for 1989. A reverse chinlock doesn’t get Perfect anywhere and Blazer gets two off a belly to belly. Blazer’s crucifix gets a VERY close two but Perfect just blasts him in the face with a forearm. The PerfectPlex ends Blazer at 5:51 and keeps Perfect’s record spotless.

Rating: C+. Good match here but they could have done something really special with more time and a more main event style. Blazer was an excellent high flier (especially for this time) and Perfect was already looking like a polished veteran. It’s not great but this was a fun match while it lasted.

Jesse is presented to the crowd for the third year in a row. For some reason Gorilla is surprised and says he was set up for this one.

Yesterday, Mr. Fuji ran a 5K in a tuxedo and snappy bowler hat while barely breaking a sweat. This is to prove that he’s ready for the handicap match for the Tag Team Titles at Wrestlemania as they try to make this mean something.

Run-DMC performs the Wrestlemania Rap. Was Gladys Knight busy this year?

We recap Demolition vs. the Powers of Pain (Warlord/Barbarian) which started back at the Survivor Series. Mr. Fuji turned on Demolition to join the Powers of Pain, leading to a title match at the Main Event. Fuji threw salt in Ax’s eyes for the DQ, which somehow resulted in the Powers of Pain getting a rematch here in a 3-2 handicap match where Fuji can help his team win the titles.

Demolition is ready to beat up Fuj the Stooge.

Tag Team Titles: Demolition vs. Powers of Pain/Mr. Fuji

Demolition is defending but Fuji isn’t the worst addition to the challengers. It’s not that well known but he spent more days as a member of the World Tag Team Champions than anyone in company history at over two and a half years holding half of the titles. He’s 53 here and was a champion as recently as 1982 so it’s not like he hasn’t been out there in 20 years. Fuji throws his salt and bows before we’re ready to go.

Warlord and Ax get things going with Ax taking over and quickly handing it off to Smash for an early neck crank. Gorilla calls the challengers a mongrel team. Demolition is a pair of brawlers but the Powers of Pain are mongrels? That’s quite the stretch Monsoon. Barbarian comes in but gets elbowed in the face three times in a row for his efforts. It’s all Demolition to start until Barbarian chops Smash down to the mat in a pretty rare sight. Warlord comes back in and is immediately double clotheslined but Ax makes the mistake of going after Fuji to change control for the first time.

Fuji comes in for a chop and a falling headbutt which looked a little bit low. Slow stomping ensues, which you have to expect from guys like this. Fuji actually goes up top and misses a…..I’m not sure if it was a legdrop or an elbow and it’s Smash coming in to clean house for some polite applause. Everything breaks down and Fuji throws salt in Warlord’s eyes by mistake, setting up the Demolition Decapitator (backbreaker/middle rope elbow combination) to pin Fuji and retain the titles at 8:55.

Rating: D. Boring match but it was two teams who wrestled the same style which almost never works. Fuji being in there was a nice way to keep the Powers of Pain from getting pinned, probably to allow for house show rematches. Still though, nothing to see here and the fans have made no secret about the fact that they’re just sitting around waiting for Hogan vs. Savage.

Tony Schiavone (he had a pot of coffee for the company in the late 80s and early 90s) is thrown out of Savage’s locker room as the champ shouts that he’s ready for Hogan.

Dino Bravo vs. Ronnie Garvin

Garvin is a brawler who didn’t do much in the company. Before the match, we have to pause for the return of Jimmy Snuka. It has nothing to do with the match but he’s back after nearly four years away. Totally pointless cameo that makes me think it wasn’t meant to air here.

Bravo attacks from behind and forearms Garvin in the back as Gorilla and Jesse argue over how strong Bravo really is. A kick to the chest gets two for Dino and even Jesse rips on Bravo for thinking that would get the pin. Garvin suddenly starts his comeback with a bunch of right hands (his finisher back in the NWA) and a sleeper but Bravo is right in the corner. A sunset flip gets two for Ronnie but he walks into the side suplex for the pin at 3:55.

Rating: D. This would have been a lame match on Superstars and it makes Wrestlemania? Like I said, so much of this card feels like they’re trying to fill in time and that really shouldn’t be happening on the biggest show of the year. This easily could have been cut off to save about six minutes and keep the crowd from getting so bored.

Garvin beats up Frenchy Martin because he’s a sore loser.

Brainbusters vs. Strike Force

The Brainbusters (Gorilla: “Two really tough dudes!”) are Arn Anderson and Tully Blanchard with Heenan in their corner. Strike Force has been inactive for a long time due to Martel being injured but he begged Tito to reform the team. Blanchard starts with Martel and Arn is cheating just a few seconds in with a knee to the back. Everything breaks down and stereo dropkicks put the Busters on the floor.

Back in and Martel takes Anderson, the power of the team, to the mat in a test of strength. Blanchard fights up but Tito gets in a blind tag to put Tully in a Figure Four. Martel puts Anderson in one as well but the threats of a disqualification breaks them up. Strike Force tries another blind tag but Santana’s flying forearm hits Martel by mistake, knocking him out to the floor.

The Busters take over on the distracted Santana but he gets two off a middle rope cross body. Arn puts him back down with a knee in the corner as Martel is still shaken up by the forearm. Tito slams Anderson off the top (that might have been a mini tribute to Flair) and goes for the tag but Martel drops to the floor and walks out. So Tito is alone against the Brainbusters and this doesn’t bode well. The yet to be named spinebuster plants Tito, who is still looking over at the empty corner. A spike piledriver puts Tito out of his misery at 9:13.

Rating: C+. Fun match here which was more of a way to set up the Martel vs. Santana feud which went on for well over a year. It’s a simple story and a great way for Martel to look like a jerk, which made for a solid heel turn. The Brainbusters were going to become a much bigger deal and would finally end Demolition’s title reign by the end of the summer.

Martel says he’s tired of carrying Santana, who has always been holding him back. Gene is livid over Martel’s actions. Like more livid than he is on a day to day basis.

It’s time for Roddy Piper’s big return with a live Piper’s Pit. Fink gives Piper a big introduction but we get Brother Love (a heel character who parodied TV evangelists of the 80s) in a kilt instead. Love says his guest is brother Rodney and we get an outstanding Piper impression as Love plays both host and guest. This doesn’t last long so Love brings out the real guest: loudmouthed talk show host Morton Downey Jr. who was a forerunner to Jerry Springer and chain smoked (cigarettes, which Gorilla calls weed).

After a few insults from Downey, here’s the real Piper to wake the fans up. Piper starts asking Love questions but won’t let him answer because he didn’t want to know that badly. He makes fun of Love’s red face but Love stands up to him. Love: “You can’t scare me!” Piper: “WAH!” Guess what happens. Piper brings up all the gifts that DiBiase has given Love and thinks Love is wearing a fake Rolex. Downey throws cigarettes at Piper as Roddy asks if Love is any part Scottish. If he is, there shouldn’t be anything under that dress.

They argue over who is wearing a dress and who is wearing a kilt with Piper threatening to bite Love’s face off if Love touches Piper’s kilt. Piper rips Love’s kilt off to reveal red underwear and Love bails. So it’s just Piper vs. Downey now and Morton starts blowing smoke in Piper’s face, which Piper doesn’t approve of. Piper asks why Morton Downey Jr.’s father isn’t named Morton Downey so Morton implies he slept with Piper’s mother. Apparently Morton used to have a bunch of warts on his face but he gave them to a homeless warthog. Piper: “I didn’t know your girlfriend was homeless.”

Downey does his ZIP IT catchphrase and they just keep going. Fan: “THIS IS STUPID!” Downey thinks Piper is a transvestite and blows even more smoke. He says it’s healthy and that Piper could live as long as Downey could (Downey would eventually die of lung cancer). Piper asks for a cigarette of his own but instead sprays Downey with a fire extinguisher. This ran nearly SIXTEEN MINUTES or longer than any Wrestlemania match to date. It’s also aged horribly as Downey’s show would be canceled by the end of the summer.

Preview of Hulk Hogan’s cult classic movie No Holds Barred.

Donald Trump thinks this has been a great event for the Trump Organization and that the casinos have been doing very well. Sean Mooney sounds incredibly nervous here.

Jesse is LIVID that Hogan is invading Hollywood. He’s so mad that he looks at the wrong camera when he starts ranting about how scared Hogan is of Savage. Hogan can drive Jesse’s limo in Hollywood and Jesse storms off, only to return about ten seconds later.

We’re in intermission if that’s not clear.

Long recap of the Mega Powers forming and splitting to get us to the main event. Like I said, Hogan was taking a bit too much of the spotlight, including getting the win at Survivor Series after Savage did most of the work. It was finally too much for Savage and he snapped to set up the Mega Powers exploding.

Hogan can’t believe we’re here just a year after it all started. He should have been able to see it coming though as Savage just wasn’t ready to handle the pressure. Savage made Hogan believe that he believed in Hogan’s demandments (train, say your prayers and eat your vitamins) and that he was in Hogan’s corner. That line right there sums up why Savage is pretty justified: why should the WWF World Champion be in Hogan’s corner and have to follow Hogan’s rules? As I said for Wrestlemania III: Hogan only has himself to blame for so many of his problems.

Hogan isn’t done yet as he talks about Trump sending a team of scientists to check the arena’s foundation because the people in the building might be swallowed by the earth. What is up with Hogan worrying about the world falling apart whenever he’s in Trump Plaza? That’s two years in a row now. Anyway, he wants Savage at his best and promises to take the title back.

Jake Roberts vs. Andre the Giant

Big John Studd returned around the beginning of the year and is guest referee here. As you can probably guess, Andre’s career hasn’t done so well lately as his mounting injuries have pretty much rendered him to limited appearances and little more. The idea here is Andre is terrified of snakes, much like so many of Jake’s opponents. That’s rather evil of Jake but we’ve already established that heroes can be horrible people in the world of wrestling.

Andre jumps Jake to start and sends him face first into an exposed buckle, which lost its padding somewhere during the entrances. Somehow being sent into the exposed buckle by ANDRE THE GIANT doesn’t even knock Jake to the mat. Jesse thinks Jake is cunning but he’s in there with a giant. Gorilla: “Didn’t you ever hear the story of David?” Jesse: “Sure. He used a foreign object.” Point to Ventura. Andre gets him into the corner and crushes him with the power of fat.

Heenan yells insults as Andre stands on Jake’s chest. Jake slugs away and knocks Andre into the ropes for the tie up but Heenan gets the Giant’s arm’s loose for some choking. Andre tries a shoulder in the corner but “catches a short knee” and staggers backwards, even though Jake never moved his leg. To this day I’m still not sure what happened there. A big chest bump knocks Jake to the floor but Studd won’t let him bring the snake inside. Andre and Studd get in a fight and here’s DiBiase to steal the snake, triggering their feud. Jake chases him off as Andre chokes Studd and that’s a DQ at 9:40.

Rating: D. These matches are feeling longer and longer, even if it’s a bigger match like this one. Jake was an act that people never got tired of, even if he was eternally stuck in the midcard. Andre was into sad territory here as he could barely move and was really just shouting and using his fat instead of doing anything of value.

Jake catches DiBiase and brings in the snake to clear the ring.

Sean Mooney gives us a worthless report from the cheap seats.

Sensational Sherri is going to take the Women’s Title back from Rockin Robin and hopes Elizabeth gets hurt in the main event. That’s just evil.

Honky Tonk Man/Greg Valentine vs. Hart Foundation

Honky Tonk, now firmly down the card after losing the Intercontinental Title at the first Summerslam, gets beaten up by Hart to open things up. Valentine comes in and gets dropkicked as well, followed by Neidhart’s slingshot shoulder for two. It’s back to Bret who walks into a backbreaker as the bad guys finally over. A kind of fireman’s carry suplex and some elbows from Honky Tonk have Bret in trouble as Jesse calls Pat Patterson a relic of the past.

There’s the Shake Rattle and Roll but it’s off to Valentine for the Figure Four instead of a cover. Bret easily breaks out of the hold and cross bodies Honky Tonk, only to fall out to the floor. Back in and Bret loads up an O’Connor roll on Greg but runs over for the tag to Neidhart instead of covering. That’s rather smart and something you would only expect from someone like Bret. The Harts take over and Bret starts with the prototype of the Five Moves of Doom. Everything breaks down and Neidhart throws in Jimmy’s megaphone for a shot to Honky Tonk’s shoulder for the pin at 7:39.

Rating: C. Totally meaningless filler match here but at least it wasn’t bad for a change. The Harts were still finding their groove as a face team, including not blatant cheating with foreign objects to beat a thrown together team like this. We’ll be seeing Valentine and Honky Tonk together as an actual team later on.

We recap Ultimate Warrior vs. Rick Rude, which started in a pose down at the Royal Rumble. Rude was about to lose so he attacked Warrior with an exercise bar. Warrior wasn’t pleased and this is the result.

Intercontinental Title: Ultimate Warrior vs. Rick Rude

Warrior won the title at Summerslam in a big surprise and has been dominant ever since. Rude tries to jump him at the bell but his knee hits Warrior’s belt. To be fair, Rude didn’t get smart until he went to WCW. Warrior LAUNCHES him across the ring over and over before throwing on a bearhug. Some fingers to the eyes break the hold and Rude comes off the top with a missile dropkick of all things for two.

Warrior comes right back with another bearhug and the referee is even nice enough to stop Rude from poking the eyes again. Rude gets out off something we missed because the camera was on Heenan and a piledriver gets a very delayed cover. The kickout is a lot weaker this time and Rude follows up with a jawbreaker.

Rude cranks on both arms at once but Warrior makes the ropes and shoves Rude away. The champ throws him into the corner a few times but misses a splash. He’s still able to break up the Rude Awakening though and Rude is in trouble. Warrior knocks him to the floor for a suplex but Heenan trips Warrior up so Rude falls on top, leaving Bobby to hold the foot down to give Rick the pin and the title at 9:41. That’s Warrior’s first loss and somehow that’s Heenan’s first title as a manager in the WWF.

Rating: B. This was a pairing that never made sense as neither guy was known as the best in ring performer on their own but they meshed together very well and produced some good stuff. Rude was still goofy and Warrior was still insane so this was a major upset and big surprise all around. Good match too.

Warrior beats Heenan up because he’s a sore loser.

Bad News Brown vs. Jim Duggan

Just a brawl here. Duggan slugs away to start and clotheslines Brown out to the floor. Back in and it’s Brown’s turn to hammer on Duggan but the shots to the head have no effect on Jim. The Ghetto Blaster misses though and Brown rolls outside to grab a chair. Duggan gets his 2×4 and it’s a double DQ at 3:45.

Rating: D. This could have been fun if it wasn’t at Wrestlemania. Instead it’s yet another way to fill in time before the match on the show that everyone wanted to see. Thankfully they kept this short but that doesn’t mean it has any business actually taking place. Bad stuff here that could have been a fun garbage brawl.

Duggan hits him with the 2×4 to send Brown staggering away. The announcement of the double DQ crushes the crowd all over again.

Red Rooster can’t wait to beat up Bobby Heenan and it’s going to be a great day in the barnyard. The idea is Rooster is a walking chicken who used to be managed by Heenan. Bobby said he could take anyone to success, even someone as untalented as Rooster. I think you can piece the rest together yourself.

Red Rooster vs. Bobby Heenan

Heenan can barely walk after the beating from Warrior. Right hands, Heenan misses a charge and hits the post, Rooster pins him in 30 seconds.

Post match the Brooklyn Brawler comes in but gets beaten up by Rooster. This is really the last match before the main event at WRESTLEMANIA.

Elizabeth says she’ll be in a neutral corner for the main event. All she hopes is that neither man is injured.

Tony Schiavone says the locker room has all gone into the arena to watch the match.

Sean Mooney polls fans on who is going to win. My goodness ENOUGH FILLER ALREADY.

WWF World Title: Randy Savage vs. Hulk Hogan

Savage is defending and comes out first. Elizabeth gets her own entrance. Jesse sums it up very well by saying “This is truly what the term main event was invented for. This is the MAIN EVENT.” Savage bails to start and poses on the corner. Hogan easily shoves him down and it’s time to stall some more.

The announcers get into a heated argument over how important Elizabeth really is until Hogan shoulders Savage to the floor where he hides behind Elizabeth. Jesse: “With what Elizabeth has pulled, a punch in the nose might be what she needs.” Back in and Hogan gets technical (huh???) to take Savage down into a front facelock. Some right hands are more Hogan’s style but Savage snaps him throat first across the top rope for two.

We hit the armbar from the champ but Hogan fights up and uses the trunks to pull Savage to the floor. Back in and Hogan drops a bunch of elbows for two but Savage pulls him into a chinlock. Hulk has a cut over his eye and Savage knees him into the buckle for two, even with a handful of trunks. Hogan fights up again and just slams Savage over the top to the floor.

Randy wants nothing to do with Elizabeth’s help so he pulls Hogan to the floor and posts him. Now Elizabeth goes to check on Hogan and gets ejected to make it one on one. Savage ax handles Hogan throat first into the barricade followed by a knee drop for two. With that not working, Savage just chokes him down instead. The top rope elbow gets two and it’s time to Hulk Up. The three punches set up the big boot and the legdrop to give Hogan the title back at 17:54.

Rating: B. It’s a good match but there was no way they were going to be able to live up to the hype they had created for this. This was one of the biggest matches of all time and there was really no way they could get much higher than they did here. I can accept Hogan winning for the safe move and the good feeling, but can you imagine if Savage had cheated to win (maybe involving Elizabeth somehow) and kept the title until Summerslam? Still though, I understand why they did this as it wasn’t exactly a time when heels could get the last laugh of a major show.

A lot of posing and raving from Jesse take us out.

Overall Rating: D-. This is by far the worst Wrestlemania to date and in the running for the worst of all time. I understand the idea of a one match card but they weren’t even trying to do anything more than fill in time. Look at some of these matches and tell me which ones deserved to be on here aside from the main event. You have Andre vs. Roberts, the Intercontinental Title and Tag Team Title matches, and maybe the Brainbusters vs. Strike Force.

In other words, about two thirds of this show ranges from worthless to not needing to be on the card. The main event is good but there’s no way they could make up for the disaster that was the rest of the show. It’s way too long, not any good most of the time, and a show that only needed to be about one match. Throw in the WAY too long Piper segment and this was a disaster. Absolutely horrible show.

Ratings Comparison

Hercules vs. King Haku

Original: C-

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: D+

Twin Towers vs. Rockers

Original: C

2013 Redo: C

2015 Redo: C+

Brutus Beefcake vs. Ted DiBiase

Original: D+

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: D+

Bushwhackers vs. Fabulous Rougeau Brothers

Original: D-

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D-

Mr. Perfect vs. Blue Blazer

Original: B-

2013 Redo: C+

2015 Redo: C+

Demolition vs. Powers of Pain/Mr. Fuji

Original: C-

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

Dino Bravo vs. Ronnie Garvin

Original: F

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

Brain Busters vs. Strike Force

Original: B-

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: C+

Jake Roberts vs. Andre the Giant

Original: D

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

Hart Foundation vs. Honky Tonk Man/Greg Valentine

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: C

Rick Rude vs. Ultimate Warrior

Original: B

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: B

Jim Duggan vs. Bad News Brown

Original: F

2013 Redo: D-

2015 Redo: D

Red Rooster vs. Brooklyn Brawler

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

Hulk Hogan vs. Randy Savage

Original: C+

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D-

It just keeps getting worse.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/12/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-5-hogan-vs-savage-and-thats-about-it/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/14/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-v-the-first-wrestlemania-sequel/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Wrestlemania IV
Date: March 27, 1988
Location: Trump Plaza, Atlantic City, New Jersey
Attendance: 18,165
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Jesse Ventura

DiBiase’s master plan isn’t over yet and we’ll be seeing it put into effect as the night goes on. However, the tournament plans have been drastically changed since they were originally put together. We’ll take a look at what was changed and why as we move on but you should be able to figure most of it out already. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is a bit more modern this year as it’s a slot machine spitting out coins followed by the Wrestlemania IV logo. It’s very fitting in Atlantic City and a nice change of pace from the basic yet effective openings of the previous shows.

The roof has these really cool blue and red stripes as their main design. I always thought those looked awesome.

Gene brings out Gladys Knight to sing America the Beautiful. I’m not entirely sure why she’s covered in patches and looks like she has about a dozen sponsors but I’ve seen stranger things.

Bob Uecker is here again and is doing commentary on the first match. He’s probably the best celebrity commentator they’ve ever had so I have no issue with this.

Battle Royal

Bret Hart, Jim Neidhart, Jim Powers, Paul Roma, Sika, Danny Davis, B. Brian Blair, Jim Brunzell, Bad News Brown, Sam Houston, Jacques Rougeau, Raymond Rougeau, Ken Patera, Ron Bass, Junkyard Dog, Nikolai Volkoff, Boris Zhukov, Hillbilly Jim, King Harley Race, George Steele

The winner gets a big trophy and you really should be able to see where this is going from here. Powers and Roma (the Young Stallions) are another pretty boy tag team, Sika is a Samoan, Brown is a tough guy and a legitimate bronze medalist in judo (never mentioned on screen), Houston is a cowboy, Patera is a strongman, Bass is an evil cowboy and Volkoff and Zhukov (the Bolsheviks) are evil Russians. Steele starts on the floor and never actually gets in so it’s not really clear if he’s eliminated or not.

Uecker is on commentary for this one and mentions that Vince McMahon called to ask if he wanted to be on the show. That’s not something you would expect to hear as Vince was just a commentator at this point. Houston, a smaller guy, is quickly put out and Sika, a much bigger guy, is gone soon after.

The fans go nuts at the prospect of Davis getting tossed. It’s rather impressive that he’s hung around so long with such a simple gimmick and so little skill. Steele pulls Neidhart to the floor and both Bees and Raymond Rougeau are quickly eliminated as well. Some cops walk in front of the first row as Dog eliminates Bass. Zhukov and others dump Hillbilly and Powers tosses Davis to the biggest pop of his career. Powers is eliminated a few seconds later and the ring is really clearing out.

Race and Dog go at it again and there go Nikolai and Patera. Jacques is eliminated a few seconds alter and we’re down to Hart, Roma, Race, Dog and Brown. Dog punches Race out almost immediately and Brown backdrops Roma to get us down to three. Brown hits Hart by mistake and the all fours headbutts have them in trouble. The villains take over with some double teaming and quickly toss the Dog. An agreement seems to have been reached but Brown gives him the Ghetto Blaster (enziguri) and tosses Hart for the win at 9:45.

Rating: D. This was a rather lame battle royal with almost no drama but it did accomplish a major goal by turning Bret face for the first time in his career. Neidhart would follow him to the good side soon enough and the Hart Foundation would become a force in the division all over again. Brown would soon feud with the new World Champion for a bit in some really good matches. I wouldn’t want to spoil the new champion for you though, in case you somehow haven’t heard about it in the last twenty seven years or so.

Brown comes back in for the trophy presentation but Bret jumps him from behind and destroys the trophy.

The Fink goes over the tournament rules but Gorilla and Jesse talk over him. They quiet down for a celebrity moment though as Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous’ Robin Leech reads a proclamation about the tournament, which basically says “we’re having a tournament.”

Here are the brackets:

Hulk Hogan

BYE

Andre the Giant

BYE

Jim Duggan

Ted DiBiase

Don Muraco

Dino Bravo

Greg Valentine

Ricky Steamboat

Randy Savage

Butch Reed

One Man Gang

Bam Bam Bigelow

Jake Roberts

Rick Rude

WWF World Title Tournament First Round: Jim Duggan vs. Ted DiBiase

DiBiase has bodyguard Virgil and Andre with him. Ted hides in the corner to start but Duggan fires off some right hands to take over. A big atomic drop sends DiBiase over the top and out to the floor with one of DiBiase’s perfect bounces. He’s known as a technician but he can tumble around very well. Back in and Duggan pounds away in the corner but he charges into a boot to give Ted his first control.

A sunset flip gets two for Duggan and Jesse freaks out that he knows a wrestling move. Duggan pounds him into the corner again and a slam looks to set up the Three Point Clothesline but Andre grabs his foot. The distraction lets DiBiase get in a knee to the back for the pin at 5:02. The replay shows Andre punching Duggan as well with the referee looking right at him. It would seem that DiBiase has bought off another one. Or that they screwed up and no one noticed.

Rating: C-. This is going to be a running problem tonight. These matches could be good but you can’t do much when you have so little time to work with. Five minutes is enough for a squash but you need more if you want to see something competitive. Duggan and DiBiase had some awesome matches in Mid-South but they were far different people at this point.

Brutus Beefcake threatens to cut Honky Tonk Man’s hair tonight after he takes the Intercontinental Title. Honky Tonk stole the belt from Steamboat just a few months after Wrestlemania III and has held it ever since.

WWF World Title Tournament First Round: Don Muraco vs. Dino Bravo

Bravo has Frenchy Martin with him while Muraco, now a good guy, has former WWF World Champion Billy Graham in his corner. Power vs. power here with Bravo taking him into the corner for some big right hands. Muraco comes back with a slam but is totally out of position for what looked like a Vader Bomb, meaning he has to just land next to Bravo and then cover him. A gutwrench suplex gets two for Bravo but he misses a knee in the corner to give Muraco a target.

Don starts working on the leg but gets kicked away so hard that his neck gets tied up in the ropes. Bravo follows up on the neck with a piledriver (Muraco’s move, though Muraco uses a tombstone) for two, followed by a double clothesline to put both of them down. Muraco takes over so Bravo pulls the referee in the way of a flying forearm for the DQ at 4:54.

Rating: D. Lame match here with an even lamer ending. They really needed to protect Dino Bravo in a World Title tournament at Wrestlemania? You can’t have him take a rollup loss to a former Intercontinental Champion? The ending didn’t do it any favors either and the whole thing was just messy. It could have been worse though.

Uecker, who will mainly be a backstage interviewer tonight, is looking for Vanna White but finds Honky Tonk Man and Jimmy Hart instead. A few barbs are exchanged about Uecker’s abysmal batting average and Uecker thinks it might be time for some haircuts. Honky Tonk threatens to backstroke up the Mississippi. Wouldn’t that mess with his hair?

WWF World Title Tournament First Round: Ricky Steamboat vs. Greg Valentine

Ricky has his son with him, who would wind up being Richie Steamboat in the early days of NXT. Steamboat runs the ropes to start and armdrags Valentine into an armbar as he is known to do. Some chops get two for the Dragon and he skins the cat before dropkicking Valentine in the back. In a rare botch, Ricky isn’t in the right place to roll Valentine up and has to cover him for two instead. Everyone can make a mistake every and then but it’s so strange to see it from Steamboat.

Valentine pulls Steamboat off the ropes for a big crash, giving me one of my all time favorite exchanges between Gorilla and Jesse. Gorilla: “Right on the back of the head! Right on the external occipital protuberance area!” Jesse: “The WHAT?” Gorilla: “That little bump on the back of your head.” Ricky flips out of a belly to back suplex and puts on another armbar. Greg gets back up with a big clothesline to knock Steamboat down. Gorilla: “Right on the external occipital protuberance. We talked about that Jess.” Jesse: “Ok. Back of the head for all your normal people out there.”

They slug it out as Jesse finally points out Donald Trump in the front row. Valentine can’t hook the Figure Four and Steamboat wins a slugout. Greg’s top rope chop sets up the Figure Four but Steamboat chops his way out again. Now it’s Ricky with a top rope chop to the head for two. After shoving the referee in a rare angry moment, Steamboat goes up for the cross body but Valentine rolls through for the clean pin at 9:11.

Rating: B-. Match of the night by far and while a lot of that is due to the talent in the ring, a lot of it is also due to the extra time they had. It let them build up a match instead of just getting all their stuff in, which is only a good thing when you have guys like these two out there. This would be it for Steamboat in the WWF as he headed back to the NWA after some time off.

The British Bulldogs have Matilda back after the Islanders (Heenan’s team) dognapped her. Dynamite says that Matilda has been trained for a weasel hunt (Bobby was known as the Weasel) and Koko B. Ware can’t wait for the six man tag tonight. Does this sound familiar to anyone else?

Bobby Heenan receives a package and actually TIPS THE DELIVERYMAN! Someone get him to a doctor!

WWF World Title Tournament First Round: Randy Savage vs. Butch Reed

Savage, now a full on face and the second most popular act in the company, and Elizabeth are in matching blue outfits. Reed shoves Savage down as the announcers debate whether or not Gorilla would buy a used car from Slick. Savage can’t suplex the bigger Reed so Butch suplexes him instead, followed by a hard elbow to the face. Savage’s elbows have little effect as Reed drops him again, only to spend WAY too much time yelling at Elizabeth as he goes up. Butch gets slammed down, setting up the flying elbow for the pin at 4:09.

Rating: D+. This did exactly what it was supposed to do as Savage is going to have a deep run in this thing so giving him a relatively easy first round match made sense. Reed was fine in this role as a power guy who posed a bit of a threat but ultimately had no chance. This would be his last match for the WWF before he headed for the NWA as well.

Heenan isn’t worried about the British Bulldogs or that mutt Matilda because he has the Islanders and a surprise to back it up. Uecker is offended and won’t speak at their outrigger dinner.

WWF World Title Tournament First Round: Bam Bam Bigelow vs. One Man Gang

Two monsters here as Gang is a big biker with Slick as his manager and Bigelow is a slightly smaller (6’4, 393lbs) guy who can fly around amazingly well for someone his size. He also has Oliver Humperdink (a pretty low level yet very colorful manager) in his corner. Gang jumps him from behind and splashes Bigelow in the corner as Monsoon talks about wrestling at 440lbs. Jesse is stunned and wants to hear about Monsoon’s diet back then in a funny bit that only the two of them could pull off.

Bigelow makes a quick comeback and hits a pair of headbutts, only to have Slick pull the rope down to send Bigelow outside, drawing a countout at 2:55. You would think that Bigelow being on the apron for about seven of those counts and having one foot in the ring at ten would be enough to save him but not quite. This was it for Bigelow for all intents and purposes as he needed knee surgery and would also be in the NWA by the end of the year.

Gene is in the back with Hogan, who talks about his rematch with Andre. After saying about what you would expect him to say, Hogan goes into a bizarre rant about slamming Andre and breaking America off from the fault line and causing everyone to fall into the ocean. Now things get even more insane and it has to be quoted for posterity’s sake if nothing else:

“So will Donald Trump and all the Hulkamaniacs. But as Donald Trump hangs on to the top of the Trump Plaza with his family under his other arm, as they sink to the bottom of the sea, THANK GOD Donald Trump’s a Hulkamaniac. He’ll know enough to let go of his materialistic possessions, hang on to the wife and kids, dog paddle with his life all the way to safety. But Donald, if somehow you run out of gas, and all those little Hulkamaniacs run out of gas, just hang onto the largest back in the world and I’ll dog paddle us, backstroke all of us to safety.”

So to recap:

1. Hulk Hogan basically just declared himself Jesus.

2. Wouldn’t everyone on his back drown is he backstrokes through the ocean?

3. What’s with the referencing to backstroking tonight?

4. Gene’s face during Hogan’s speech is bordering on terror as he tries not to let his jaw hang open and/or ask what on earth Hogan is talking about.

WWF World Title Tournament First Round: Rick Rude vs. Jake Roberts

These two would be about to start an awesome feud due to Rude trying to hit on Jake’s wife. Rude, with Heenan in his corner, is still a goofy ladies man here but he could be a heavy hitter when he needed to be. Feeling out process to start until Jake scores with some slams to send Rude into the corner. Jake starts cranking on the arm and even holds it when Rude punches him to the mat for a unique visual.

The wristlock stays on as they hit the mat, which sounds like the calling card of the fifteen minute time limit draw. Back up and a knee lift looks to set up the DDT but Rude bails to the floor. More stalling ensues until Jake slams him again but he misses another knee lift and crashes to the mat. The hip swivel and an elbow drop get a VERY slow two for Rude and we hit the chinlock. They’re not even hiding the impending draw. Even Jesse is wondering why Rude is doing something like this with such a short time limit.

Rude elbows him down for two and we hit yet another chinlock. Jake fights up with a belly to back suplex and Rude STILL won’t let go of the hold. Some stomps set up the fifth chinlock of the match and Jake looks asleep. The fans are loudly booing this until Jake finally escapes with a jawbreaker. It’s a remarkable improvement for the fans as they go from booing to just silent instead. Jake starts his comeback with a short clothesline but the DDT is broken up. A double clothesline makes the fans audibly groan. Rude is up first and grabs a rollup with his feet on the ropes but the bell rings for the draw at 15:13 (eh close enough).

Rating: F. Absolutely awful here as over five minutes of the match was spent in a chinlock. It’s easy to have a fifteen minute match go to a draw without boring the fans to death but they didn’t even try here. I know you don’t want to do another countout after the previous one, but what about a double DQ that eats up half the time or something like that? This was awful and just a way to waste time.

Here are the updated brackets:

Hulk Hogan

Andre the Giant

Ted DiBiase

Don Muraco

Greg Valentine

Ricky Steamboat

One Man Gang

BYE

Gene is with Vanna White (of Wheel of Fortune) but she’s never heard of Bob Uecker. They give us a quick preview of the second round and praise Hogan a bit. Vanna likes Elizabeth as “a woman person” behind Savage. White may not have been a huge wrestling fan but she knew how to have a great smile and a lot of charisma here. As I said earlier: it helps when they sound like they want to be here and Vanna seemed like she was having a good time.

Ultimate Warrior vs. Hercules

Warrior is relatively new (he debuted in October) and this is just a power vs. power match. They shove each other around to start until Warrior takes him into the corner for some hard chops. This is before Warrior had figured out the formula that made him a star so this is quite a different style. Hercules needs three clotheslines to put Rude down but Warrior pops up because they’re just clotheslines.

Ever the villain, Jesse suggests that Hercules choke Warrior out with the tassels on Warrior’s arms. It’s not a bad idea actually. They slug it out and don’t seem to know where to go next. I can understand that from Warrior but Hercules is a veteran at this point. An atomic drop puts Warrior down out of the corner and Heenan says slap it on him. There’s the full nelson but Warrior climbs the turnbuckles and falls backwards onto Hercules, raising his shoulder up for the pin at 4:36.

Rating: D. See, as boring as this one was, at least they kept it short and you had Warrior being all insane (character insane as opposed to real life insane) to keep things active. Like I said, this is completely different than the normal Warrior style and it was interesting to see something out of the ordinary.

Hercules comes in with the chain but Warrior takes it away and swings it around to clean house.

We see some Wrestlemania IV merchandise as we’re in an intermission.

Boxing legend Sugar Ray Leonard is here.

Long recap of Andre vs. Hogan, including the build up to Wrestlemania III, DiBiase paying Andre to bring him the title and the Main Event match which set up the tournament.

WWF World Title Tournament Quarterfinals: Hulk Hogan vs. Andre the Giant

Andre has DiBiase and Virgil with him. Hogan charges right at the Giant but Andre is ready for him with a bunch of right hands. Some running forearms have Andre staggered and Hulk rams him into DiBiase for good measure. Andre gets tied up in the ropes but Hogan walks around forever, allowing DiBiase and Virgil to get Andre loose.

Even more right hands drop Andre and three straight elbows get two, only to have Andre grab Hogan by the throat to break up the cover. Andre sits on Hogan because he doesn’t like to make his offense that complicated. We hit the trapezius hold from the Giant but Hulk pops up with more right hands. A Virgil distraction lets DiBiase sneak in with a chair but Hogan takes it away and hits Andre. The Giant takes the chair and hits Hogan with it….and that’s a double DQ at 5:23.

Rating: D. Yeah the match sucked but my goodness how in the world do you call that a double DQ? Hogan hit him first and the referee was looking right at him but for some reason both guys are out. That sounds about as cut and dry as you can get but tournaments can cause some screwy results.

Hogan slams Andre and poses even though he’s out of the tournament. DiBiase runs and throws Virgil at Hogan to take the beating in the aisle. Gorilla turns into Yoda and says that “neither one of these men will be entitled to wear the belt of the champion.” As the posing ensues, Jesse thinks this was all part of the master plan. That’s because Jesse was one of the smartest commentators ever and gets common sense while Gorilla was a glorified Hogan fan. This goes on for WAY too long and feels like the end of the show while Jesse says we’ll know who the real greatest is in another hour.

Savage, now in pink to match Elizabeth again, says no one has ever defeated Hogan. Now that he’s out though, he’s going to make sure that the other half of the Mega Powers goes all the way.

WWF World Title Tournament Quarterfinals: Don Muraco vs. Ted DiBiase

The winner goes to the finals due to the double DQ. Muraco reaches through the ropes to get DiBiase (alone here) as the bell rings and Jesse freaks out because it’s not fair to Ted. Again, totally correct but Gorilla ignores him. A powerslam and a middle rope elbow get two each for Muraco so DiBiase rolls outside. That’s even worse as he has to run from Graham and his cane. Back in and DiBiase sends him hard into the buckle to set up some choking. That sweet falling fist drop gets two for DiBiase but he misses an elbow. Back up and Muraco charges into a stun gun to send DiBiase to the finals at 5:35.

Rating: D+. I find it interesting that DiBiase has won his first two matches without using his finishing hold. It’s always cool to see them mix things up like that instead of doing the same stuff over and over again. Muraco was a good choice to put DiBiase over here and the match was fine enough. Not good but fine.

Demolition says they’re going to hit Strike Force over the head with baseball bats to win the Tag Team Titles. Uecker is rightfully freaked out.

One Man Gang’s second round bye is announced to the crowd.

WWF World Title Tournament Quarterfinals: Greg Valentine vs. Randy Savage

This should be good. Savage goes for a quick rollup but Greg goes up top and drops a forearm to the back for two. Donald Trump is still in the front row and seems to actually be enjoying himself. They fight to the floor with Greg chopping even more, followed by some heavy elbows to the chest. Back in and Valentine starts in on the leg but opts for a suplex instead. Savage suddenly goes nuts and hits the top rope ax handle. He tries for a second but gets punched out of the air. Valentine can’t follow up but avoids a charge against the ropes. The Figure Four is countered into a small package and Savage advances at 6:07.

Rating: D. Quite the disappointing match here as you would expect far better chemistry from these two. Valentine barely touched the leg and was just going with the big forearms and elbows, which were normally only about half of his offense. Savage had one burst of offense and then won in the end on a fluke again, which is pretty standard for him. Not a good match here, which is a really bit surprise.

Here are the updated brackets:

Ted DiBiase

BYE

One Man Gang

Randy Savage

Vanna and Gene talk about the upcoming matches.

Intercontinental Title: Honky Tonk Man vs. Brutus Beefcake

This is one of Beefcake’s 283 or so shots at the titles over the year. Honky Tonk now has his girlfriend Peggy Sue with him (Sherri Martel as a dancing 50s girl). Jesse says he’s playing piano during Honky Tonk’s music. Unfortunately Beefcake doesn’t have his awesome music yet. The champ stalls forever so Jesse says hi to Terri, Tyrel and Jade (his wife and kids) back in Minneapolis as was his custom. A big atomic drop gives us the Honky Tonk selling and a right hand sends him outside.

Back in and Beefcake motions for a haircut before he sends Honky Tonk into the buckle over and over. Brutus finally misses a big elbow to give Honky Tonk an opening for his variety of stomping. Some choking looks to set up the Shake Rattle and Roll but the champ lets go. Jimmy Hart is confused but it turns out that they needed to move closer to the ropes so Brutus could block. I guess this is before backdrops were invented.

Beefcake grabs the sleeper but Hart knocks the referee cold with the megaphone. Instead of waking up the referee (why does that almost never happen?), Brutus goes for the scissors and cuts Jimmy’s hair instead. No one can wake Honky Tonk up so Peggy pours water over his face. Brutus tries to bring in the hedge clippers and the match is thrown out at somewhere around 6:00.

Rating: D. Another lame match here as Honky Tonk was all about the heat from the crowd and couldn’t have a good match to save his life most of the time. That being said, it made him more valuable than most of the roster as the people would pay to see him get beaten up every night because there was no way he could survive one more day as champion. Keep that up for over a year and rake in the money until you have someone to shoot to the moon as the new champion. Beefcake was never going to be that guy but he was an awesome repeat challenger.

There’s another major point to talk about here. Remember how I said the tournament we got wasn’t the original plan? Well that’s because of Honky Tonk Man. The original plan here was to have Savage beat Honky Tonk Man for the title but Honky Tonk talked Vince out of it/threatened to jump to the NWA with the title (depending on who you ask) and his reign continued.

Instead Savage was plugged into the World Title tournament and gets the major push as a result. The original World Title tournament saw DiBiase’s master plan paying off with him beating an exhausted Hogan to win the title, (the original brackets were aired on TV before they were changed to this version) setting up Savage winning it at Summerslam and going forward with history from there.

Andre puts his massive hand on Uecker’s shoulder to scare him to death while explaining the master plan. All he was supposed to do was get Hogan out of the tournament and he did his job perfectly. He chokes Uecker for fun, bugging Bob’s eyes out in a semi-famous bit.

Islanders/Bobby Heenan vs. British Bulldogs/Koko B. Ware

We get to see what was inside Bobby’s delivery earlier: a dog handler’s outfit, which Jesse calls a stroke of genius. Dynamite hiptosses Haku (formerly King Tonga) and Tama down to start before catapulting Tama over the corner and out to the floor. Off to Haku to face Davey in the power vs. power match. Davey gets two off a crucifix and we hit the chinlock on Haku. You don’t often see a heel in one of those.

Haku comes back with an eye rake and forearms. Jesse: “Heenan is saving himself Gorilla.” Gorilla: “Yeah for the senior prom.” Dynamite finally charges into a kick in the corner and it’s off to Heenan for some stomps. Jesse describes him as looking like “A Chinaman” and the cook from Bonanza.

A single right hand to the ribs sends Bobby running and it’s off to Koko for some meaningless headbutts. Thankfully the Islanders don’t sell because they respect racial stereotypes and it’s back to Heenan to work on Koko some more. Ware sends him into the corner though and everything breaks down with the Islanders slamming Bobby onto Koko for the pin at 7:31.

Rating: D+. So this was basically the Heenan Family replacing the Hart Foundation from last year. Heenan was funnier than Davis though and it almost made for a more entertaining match, but that beating that Davis took last year was a thing of beauty. Still good enough here and Koko continues to be the man you get when you need a filler.

Jesse is presented to the crowd again in another rather pointless segment.

DiBiase’s bye into the finals is announced.

WWF World Title Tournament Semifinals: Randy Savage vs. One Man Gang

Elizabeth is in black to match Savage’s robe but his trunks are purple. Savage gets smart and grabs the beard to start and snaps Gang’s throat over the top rope. That’s it for Savage’s offense though as the much bigger Gang drives him into the corner to take over. Gang gets two off a slam but Savage gets his foot on the ropes.

The big splash misses though and Savage ax handles him to the floor. A top rope ax handle to the floor has Gang reeling but Savage tries a slam like a schnook and fails miserably. Elizabeth gets on the apron for no apparent reason and Slick throws in the cane. Gang misses every swing but it’s a DQ anyway at 4:35.

Rating: D. They were setting up a fine match until the lame ending. How do you disqualify someone for failing to cheat? Then again this is the same show where there was a countout when someone was halfway in the ring and a chair to the head somehow setting up a double DQ. Savage should have won this off a missed charge and a quick rollup or something but instead they went with some botched cheating.

Vanna has to go to ringside for the final and Uecker shows up just a few seconds late. Gene says Vanna has no idea who Uecker is but he says she’s sent him a ton of letters. “Yeah some guy named Vance White.” I really hope there’s a joke I’m not getting there because that’s really not funny.

Tag Team Titles: Demolition vs. Strike Force

Demolition is challenging and has Mr. Fuji in their corner. Strike Force is the sequel to the Can-Am Connection with Martel teaming up with Tito Santana to win the Tag Team Titles from the Hart Foundation back in the fall. Smash pounds Martel down to start and the other two come in as everything breaks down. A double clothesline gets two on Smash as the crowd is quiet, likely due to exhaustion at this point.

Tito armdrags Ax down and Martel hiptosses Smash down for good measure. Smash is still strong enough to catch a charging Santana in midair and carries him over to Ax for a clothesline in a kind of prototype Hart Attack. Jesse gives tips on double teaming as Smash gets two off a suplex. Tito finally scores with the flying forearm, which Jesse says he learned in the Mexican Football League. It’s finally off to Martel to clean house but the fans just do not care. Martel gets the Boston crab on Smash but Ax sneaks in with the cane (a must have for any heel manager) to knock Martel out and give Smash the pin at 8:03.

Rating: D+. The fans reacted to the title change but there wasn’t much else for them to care about. The match wasn’t bad but it took a lot of time to get to the ending as this show feels like it’s been going on forever. Demolition would go on to have the longest reign in the history of the titles so this was quite the historic change. Strike Force was an underrated team and I was hoping to see them get back in the title change but it would never come.

It’s FINALLY time for the main event with Uecker as the ring announcer and Vanna as the timekeeper. Robin Leech is also here to present the World Title belt to the winner. Uecker gets a kiss from Vanna to wrap up the show long story.

WWF World Title: Ted DiBiase vs. Randy Savage

DiBiase has Andre with him but Virgil is probably still in the hospital after that one suplex. The final matching outfit sees Savage and Elizabeth all in white which feels appropriate for some reason. Savage is rightfully freaked out (freaked out freaked out) by Andre, who grabs Randy’s foot to make it even worse. The fans, proving that they are in fact alive, chant for Hogan.

They fight over arm control until Ted’s sunset flip is broken up by a right hand to the face. Some elbows to the back of Savage’s head changes control again but a knee to the back sends DiBiase outside. Savage goes up but Andre stands in front of him and says jump. If Savage jumps at him and gets attacked doesn’t that mean a DQ, which could mean Savage wins the title? Leave the planning to DiBiase Giant. Savage realizes something must be done and sends Elizabeth off to the back for help.

As Ted cranks on a chinlock, we get the obvious return of Hogan who sits down in the corner to keep an eye on things. Andre goes after Savage again but Hogan runs over with a right hand to even things up again. A suplex gets two for Ted but he gets slammed off the top, only to have Savage miss the elbow. DiBiase slaps on the sleeper but the referee goes to yell at Andre. Hogan comes in (wearing cowboy boots of all things) and chairs DiBiase in the back, setting up the elbow to make Savage champion at 9:17.

Rating: C. The match was fine but it came at the end of a far too long show. In their defense, the fans went nuts when Savage won, despite the blatant cheating from Hogan. As usual, Hulk continues to be really evil under the surface but to his credit Savage didn’t see what Hogan did. Good enough match but it came too late in the night.

Savage, Hogan and Elizabeth celebrate in the ring to wrap up the show.

Overall Rating: D. This was LONG. The show felt like it went on for about nineteen days with so many worthless matches (Bravo vs. Muraco and Warrior vs. Hercules?) and stuff not getting enough time because we needed SIXTEEN MATCHES on one show. Savage winning the title was one of the two best options along with DiBiase so I can’t complain there, but this really needed to be cut down by an hour and minus about six matches. Or get a shorter ramp to cut down on the way too long entrances.

This is a show that really could have benefited from the modern pay per view style as there are regularly scheduled twenty minute matches on most pay per views. The problem here was you had all those matches, meaning a lot of entrances to eat up time. It made for a VERY long night and the show felt like it was never going to end. Do yourself a favor and watch the first Clash of the Champions, which aired on the same night and partially at the same time.

Ratings Comparison

Battle Royal

Original: C

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D

Ted DiBiase vs. Jim Duggan

Original: C-

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: C-

Don Muraco vs. Dino Bravo

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D

Greg Valentine vs. Ricky Steamboat

Original: C

2013 Redo: C+

2015 Redo: B-

Randy Savage vs. Butch Reed

Original: D

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: D+

One Man Gang vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

Rick Rude vs. Jake Roberts

Original: D

2013 Redo: D-

2015 Redo: F

Ultimate Warrior vs. Hercules

Original: D

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D

Hulk Hogan vs. Andre the Giant

Original: C

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: D

Ted DiBiase vs. Don Muraco

Original: C+

2013 Redo: C

2015 Redo: D+

Randy Savage vs. Greg Valentine

Original: C+

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: D

Brutus Beefcake vs. Honky Tonk Man

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D

Islanders/Bobby Heenan vs. British Bulldogs/Koko B. Ware

Original: D+

2013 Redo: C

2015 Redo: D+

Randy Savage vs. One Man Gang

Original: D

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

Demolition vs. Strike Force

Original: C-

2013 Redo: C+

2015 Redo: D+

Randy Savage vs. Ted DiBiase

Original: B

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: C

Overall Rating

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

I even got annoyed trying to write up the new ratings comparison. This show is that much of a mess.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/11/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-4-one-big-tournament-and-thats-it/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/13/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-iv-the-biggest-tournament-ever/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Wrestlemania III
Date: March 29, 1987
Location: Pontiac Silverdome, Pontiac, Michigan
Attendance: 93,173
Commentators: Jesse Ventura, Gorilla Monsoon

I’m not sure what else there is to say here. Wrestlemania III is one of those shows that you have probably seen before and if you haven’t then you probably know about it. Aside from the Hogan vs. Andre showdown, there’s the legendary and influential Randy Savage vs. Ricky Steamboat match for the Intercontinental Title. Let’s get to it.

The wide shot of the stadium to open the show is still one of the best visuals in wrestling. This is what Wrestlemania is supposed to look like and it feels like one of the biggest events the company or industry has ever had.

Vince introduces Aretha Franklin for America the Beautiful.

The announcers, including celebrities Bob Uecker (baseball announcer) and Mary Hart (Entertainment Tonight anchor), talk for a bit. Uecker and Hart will only be around for a match here and there.

Can-Am Connection vs. Bob Orton/Magnificent Muraco

The Connection is the latest pretty boy tag team comprised of Tom Zenk and Rick Martel. Rick shoulders Muraco down to start and monkey flips him for two. You can definitely see a different style in this stadium setting as opposed to an arena. Everything breaks down to start and the villains are quickly dispatched to the floor for a meeting with manager Mr. Fuji.

Back in and Zenk armdrags Orton down as the fans are way into this. You can hear the roars on just basic moves and there’s really nothing like it. Muraco hits Orton by mistake and Zenk gets two. It’s off to Muraco and Orton gets in a knee to Zenk’s back from the apron to FINALLY give the bad guys an opening. That’s about it for their control though as Zenk sneaks over for the tag to Martel as everything breaks down again. A dropkick puts Orton on the floor and Zenk trips Muraco up as Martel cross bodies him for the pin at 5:37.

Rating: C+. I’ve always really liked this match because it was a perfect choice for an opener. It’s a fast paced little tag match that doesn’t mean anything in the long run but gave the fans something fun to watch to get them warmed up. Today this would be a dark match or on the preshow but here it’s the perfect choice for the opener.

We recap Billy Jack Haynes (he’s strong and from Oregon, end of his character.) vs. Hercules, which is about who is better with the full nelson. There’s nothing more to it than that and it’s not the hottest feud in the world.

Hercules says we’ll find out who the real master of the hold is. Heenan corrects Okerlund and says it’s Billy Jerk Haynes.

Hercules vs. Billy Jack Haynes

Since the entrances weren’t shown in the first match, we get to see the motorized ring carts to help cut down some of the time spent walking down the huge aisle. Those are always really cool but they only appeared twice. They shove each other around to start until Hercules gets a knee in to the ribs, only to miss a charge. Again, every move is done so that fans far away can easily tell what’s going on. Everything involves big motion and simple moves but it works really well for what they’re going for.

Hercules nails a big clothesline and whips Haynes hard across the ring. He’s starting to work on the neck and back for the really basic (not a bad thing) psychology of the match. A suplex gets two for Hercules as he pulls Hayes up instead of trying for the pin. There’s a gorilla press to set up the full nelson but Hercules doesn’t have the hands locked.

It still has Haynes in trouble but he powers up after two arm drops. A double clothesline puts both of them down and it’s Hayes up first with even more clotheslines. I know they’re repetitive but at least it makes sense for setting up the full nelson. Haynes gets the full nelson but Hercules pulls the ropes to send them both outside. Billy gets it again but it’s a double countout at 7:52.

Rating: C. You can tell the card has been put together with a lot of care. The show started with a fast paced match and then they have a power match. It keeps the fans from getting bored with the same kind of match and this worked really well. This is another fun match that doesn’t mean much but is entertaining enough. We’re not even half an hour into the show so they have plenty of time to get to the big stuff and this was a nice addition to the card.

Hercules uses his chain to bust Haynes open and then slaps on the full nelson.

King Kong Bundy wants to get his hands on Hillbilly Jim and doesn’t care if he has to run over all four of the midgets to get there. Yes, this is Bundy’s followup to main eventing last year.

King Kong Bundy/Lord Littlebrook/Little Tokyo vs. Hillbilly Jim/Little Beaver/Haiti Kid

Most of the midgets are in their 40s or 50s with Little Beaver pushing 60. Jim is a country boy from Kentucky for another very simple character. Uecker is on commentary here for his comedy stylings. All four little guys come in with the good ones taking over with a row boat (all four are on the mat with the good guys pulling on the others’ legs) for the “funny” segment. Beaver sneaks over and punches Bundy in the stomach so here’s King Kong in off the tag.

It’s quickly off to Jim, much to Jesse’s dismay. Jim scores with a clothesline and a big elbow but Bundy kicks out, even with Jim’s partners piling on the cover. The Avalanche splash in the corner crushes Jim as Uecker uses the dirtiest puns he can. Bundy throws Beaver around and drops a big elbow on him for the DQ at 4:00. That would be the end of Beaver’s career, though again he was almost sixty years old at this point.

Rating: D. Yeah I’m not sure what else you can say here. This was the comedy match of the night and to be fair they kept it really short (pun not intended but I’ll take it). I’ve never gotten the appeal of these things and they’re still not very funny but maybe the kids in the audience found it funny. Jim was definitely a kid friendly character so in theory that’s what they were going for here.

Randy Savage interrupts an interview with Elizabeth because he thinks it should be about him. He’s not really mean here as much as totally self absorbed.

Recap of Junkyard Dog vs. King Harley Race. It’s another simple idea: Race wants Dog to bow to him but Dog says he bows to no man and thinks maybe he should be King instead. This was when the King of the Ring was a title that could be won, though it was rarely defended.

Heenan gives the crown jewels to Fabulous Moolah (the Queen) to present to Race after the match.

The Dog says he’ll be sitting on the throne with the crown upon his head.

Harley Race vs. Junkyard Dog

The loser must bow. I don’t think you need an explanation on Harley Race. Dog gets a huge ovation here and seems totally in his element in a huge stadium like this. Uecker freaks out that Moolah is here and goes down to find her. Heenan offers a quick distraction but Dog easily wins a slugout with Race.

The King sends him outside but misses a falling headbutt from the apron. Back in and Dog knocks Race right back over the top with the King’s face slamming into the apron. Race’s head trauma continues as he hurts himself on a falling headbutt, followed by Dog’s all fours headbutts. Heenan jumps on the apron for a distraction though, allowing Race to grab a belly to belly for the pin at 3:23. King barely had any offense in the whole match.

Rating: D. That was a really quick ending after Dog was squashing Race for the most part. It made Race’s finisher look great but it was a weird way to get to the ending. To be fair though, Race was just in the WWF for a check at this point so it’s not like losing most of the match was going to do him any harm.

Post match Race sits in his chair and Dog bows, only to beat Race up with the chair in a move that draws cheers.

Hogan says he rode here on his motorcycle and people were telling him it was his last ride. One day everyone has to face the truth and that’s what he does today. All he has to do today is beat a 7’4, 550lb giant. That’s the easy part though because Andre has to face the truth and beat every single Hulkamaniac in the world. Hulkamania is the purest form of the truth there is and the 24 inch pythons will be running wild on Andre. This was a heck of a speech and Hogan sold the heck out of the match while looking like the warrior he was supposed to be.

The Dream Team is ready for the Rougeau Brothers. Manager Luscious Johnny V: “Parlez-vous scrambled eggs?”

Fabulous Rougeau Brothers vs. Dream Team

The Dream Team has been having some issues lately and now has Dino Bravo as a third man/enforcer. The Rougeaus (Jacques and Raymond) are high fliers from Montreal. Raymond flips around Beefcake to start so it’s quickly off to Valentine vs. Jacques. Valentine sends him into the corner and avoids a middle rope cross body before it’s back to Beefcake for some stomping. A nice backbreaker gets two on Jacques as Heenan jumps in on commentary.

Valentine’s Figure Four has Jacques in trouble until a rope is grabbed. Raymond comes in to clean house but the announcers ignore the match to talk about how Heenan’s men have done today. Beefcake hits Valentine by mistake (that’s been happening a lot lately) and Le Bombe de Rougeau (Raymond holds Valentine up so Jacques can come off the top with a seated senton) has the pin, only to have Bravo jump on Raymond and turn it over to give Greg the pin at 4:03.

Rating: D+. This was much more about storytelling than the match itself which is fine. Beefcake was about to be turned huge and become a bigger star than the rest of the team so why not do it like this? The Rougeaus were a good, entertaining team and that’s all they needed to be here.

Beefcake gets left behind as Johnny, Bravo and Valentine leave in the cart.

We recap Adrian Adonis vs. Roddy Piper. Piper had returned from a hiatus and become one of the biggest stars in the company. As he returned he was attacked by Adonis, who hurt his knee and took over the Pit, turning it into the Flower Shop. The last thing you want to do is tick off Roddy Piper though and the war was on. This is Roddy’s retirement match as he’s off to Hollywood full time but there’s always one last hurrah.

Piper says no retreat and no surrender.

Adonis promises to give Piper a haircut with some hedge clippers.

Roddy Piper vs. Adrian Adonis

Hair vs. hair and Adonis has Jimmy Hart with him. Adonis is a lot more serious and less effeminate than he was last year. Piper walks down the aisle with the biggest smile on his face. His hair is a bit longer as well to give him his better known look. They slug it out to start but Piper pulls out a belt to whip Adrian.

Adonis takes it away and whips Piper as Monsoon suddenly thinks this is unfair. Piper drags Jimmy in and whips the two of them together for a big crash. The crowd is losing it for this stuff as Piper is just crazy over. Hart trips Piper to take over though and Adonis knocks Piper to the floor. Back in and Piper says bring it on until Hart sprays cologne in his eyes.

Adonis hooks his sleeper (Goodnight Irene) and Piper goes out but Adrian lets go at two arm drops meaning the match isn’t over. Cue Brutus Beefcake (who accidentally had his hair cut by Adonis recently) to wake Piper up as Adonis and Hart celebrate. Adonis swings the clippers at Piper but hits the ropes by mistake, sending them back into his own face. Piper slaps on a sleeper and Adonis is out at 6:13.

Rating: C+. The match wasn’t anything to see and Piper would have far better matches, but this was one heck of an entertaining story, complete with Beefcake coming in to get his revenge on Adonis. This worked very well and was the perfect blowoff to a well done story from the last few weeks.

Beefcake shaves Adonis’ hair. Adrian wakes up and punches the mirror Piper holds up before bailing with Hart. Piper gets the big hero sendoff, complete with a fan trying to run in but being quickly dispatched by security.

Jesse Ventura is presented to the crowd, much to Gorilla’s annoyance. The lighting is starting to change as the sun is going down.

Jimmy Hart says the Bulldogs and Tito Santana can have the war they want.

Hart Foundation/Danny Davis vs. British Bulldogs/Tito Santana

This is another one with a long history. Davis is a former referee who went evil and cost the Bulldogs lost their Tag Team Titles to the Harts and Santana the Intercontinental Title to Savage (over a year ago) and tonight it’s about revenge. The Bulldogs’ mascot Matilda chases Jimmy around the ring to start. Mary Hart and Uecker are on commentary and Uecker is smart enough to ask Gorilla to recap the story in case the fans aren’t familiar with it. That’s something most commentators today couldn’t figure out and Bob does it on his first night.

Jesse takes Matilda to the back and Bret crawls over to Neidhart to get away from Smith. A double headbutt puts Neidhart down and a backdrop makes it even worse. Neidhart opts to just punch Smith in the face, only to have Bret miss a middle rope elbow. Dynamite takes over again as this has been one sided so far. Neidhart breaks up a pin attempt and the Harts finally take over as Uecker tries to figure out why Jimmy Hart is all over the show.

Dynamite gets beaten down by all three villains, including Davis getting in a few shots. Mary Hart: “Isn’t it time for him to get out of there? What does he have to do to get out?” A splash hits Dynamite’s knees though and the hot tag brings in Santana to clean house. The flying forearm drops Davis but Tito would rather punch him in the face than cover.

It’s back to Davey for a hard clothesline (Mary: “A clothesline? Is that what that was?”) and a tombstone. The delayed vertical suplex (a Davey trademark) sets up the running powerslam but Neidhart saves the cover on Danny’s dead body. Everything breaks down and Jimmy sends in the megaphone to knock Dynamite silly for the pin at 8:50.

Rating: D+. I wasn’t getting into this one, outstanding beating of Davis aside. The ending hurts it too as Davis just pops up after taking all that big offense and knocks Dynamite out for the pin. It wasn’t bad or anything but I could have gone for Davis taking a loss here. This really should have been the Harts defending against the Bulldogs again but at least we got a great beating.

During the replays, Uecker says that the turning point was after the tombstone when Davey didn’t go for the cover. Again: most modern announcers don’t have this level of basic insight.

Heenan, now in a white and gold tuxedo, says that Andre is winning the title and there’s nothing Hogan can do about it.

Butch Reed vs. Koko B. Ware

Power vs. speed here and Butch has Slick in his corner. Koko speeds things up to start and dropkicks Reed to the floor but Butch forearms him in the back to take over. Rights and lefts stagger Butch but he rolls through a cross body and pulls the tights to pin Koko at 3:38.

Rating: D. Nothing to see here but this is just a way to give the fans a breather before we get to the big stuff. Reed had a lot of potential with a great look and a bunch of power but he would spin his wheels for about another year before heading to the NWA in 1989 where he was half of an awesome power team called Doom. This was Koko’s bread and butter: wrestle fast, get in some good shots, then lose.

Reed and Slick beat on Koko until Tito runs in and beats Slick up. Tito rips off Slick’s “expensive” suit for fun.

We recap Randy Savage vs. Ricky Steamboat. Savage damaged Steamboat’s throat by crushing it against the barricade. Eventually Steamboat came back and swore vengeance, setting up this match. It’s a simple story but the look on Steamboat’s face when he looked at Savage sold the whole thing.

Savage says the Dragon (Steamboat) can’t stop history.

Steamboat says they have reached their moment and the Dragon is going to scorch Savage’s back. Ricky has George Steele in his corner as a friend and a continuation of Steele’s feud with Savage.

Intercontinental Title: Randy Savage vs. Ricky Steamboat

Savage is defending and gets a big face pop as he’s earned the fans’ respect. Steamboat throws the champ down to start and Savage bails to the floor to keep Elizabeth away from Steele. Back in and Steamboat grabs some very deep armdrags and chokes Savage out to the floor again. Savage gets in a few shots to take over and the fans chant for Steamboat. The chants work as Steamboat starts working on the arm, only to be sent over the turnbuckle and out to the floor.

Ever the violent one, Savage elbows the damaged throat before dropping a knee to the chest for two. Some chops to the head get Steamboat out of trouble and Savage gets tied in the ropes. Things start getting fast as they run the ropes but Savage takes him down with a knee to the back. Savage makes the eternal mistake of trying to send Steamboat over the top and the Dragon skins the cat. Who came up with that term? It sounds horrible and really has nothing to do with pulling yourself back into a ring.

Savage is right back on top of Steamboat and knocks him over the top, followed by a whip into the crowd. There’s a top rope ax handle to the back of Steamboat’s head but Jesse wants him to crush the throat again. Instead Jesse has to settle for another ax handle and a guillotine over the top rope. A gutwrench suplex gets two for the champ but Savage clotheslines him out to the floor.

Back in and Steamboat DIVES off the top and over the referee to chop Savage in the head for two as Savage’s foot was on the ropes. We hit a pinfall reversal sequence with Dragon getting several near falls. Jesse calls this one of the best matches he’s ever seen. Savage reverses on O’Connor roll into one of his own but even a handful of tights can’t pin Steamboat.

Another pull of the tights sends Steamboat shoulder first into the post and the referee gets bumped. That’s not something you often saw back in the day so this is a big deal. Savage gets the big elbow but there’s no one to count. Instead Savage gets the bell but Steele shoves him off the top and “head first onto the bell.” More like next to the bell but it sounds good. Back up and Savage tries a slam but Steamboat small packages him for the pin and the title at 14:35.

Rating: A+. This match is legendary for a lot of reasons, including Savage and Steamboat practicing the match at Savage’s home (at Savage’s insistence) so they knew it step by step, which has caused Steamboat to not be incredibly fond of it. That being said, it still holds up perfectly with both guys looking amazing through. This was a cruiserweight style match on a heavyweight level years before that style was popular. The crowd bought every bit of it and that sequence in the middle where they sped up can hang with any exchange you’ll ever see.

Steamboat and Steele leave with the title, followed by Savage who is nearly in tears. The visual of people riding the carts up the long aisle is very effective.

Jake Roberts, now fully face and incredibly popular (possibly due to an amazing mustache, says that Honky Tonk Man (a wrestling Elvis impersonator) didn’t give him his best shot in the Snake Pit (Jake’s interview show) with a guitar because Jake is still walking. Rock legend Alice Cooper will be here to keep an eye on Jimmy Hart.

Honky Tonk Man promises to win and then sing. He promises that for years but almost never delivered on it.

Jake Roberts vs. Honky Tonk Man

Roberts starts fast and rips the white and gold (popular colors tonight) Elvis suit off. Honky Tonk tries to run as Gorilla and Jesse preview Alice Cooper vs. Jimmy Hart. Back in and Jake keeps punching away before the short clothesline looks to set up the DDT. The threat of a DDT sends Honky Tonk bailing to the floor. Thank goodness he changed the oil in his hair today or he might not have been able to escape. Roberts is sent into the post to give Honky Tonk control and a middle rope fist (ala Cousin Jerry) keeps Jake in trouble.

The Shake Rattle and Roll (swinging neckbreaker. A great name for a lame move.) is countered with a backdrop. Roberts grabs an atomic drop out of the corner but unfortunately we don’t get Honky Tonk’s hilarious selling. Some right hands look to set up the DDT but Jimmy offers a distraction, allowing Honky Tonk to grab a rollup and the top rope for the pin at 7:04.

Rating: C-. It’s a rare sight to see so many midcard heels winning matches but they’re keeping things moving well enough that it doesn’t have a big impact. Honky Tonk was on the rise so the win is a good thing for him but Jake is the kind of guy who can take a loss and then bounce right back with a single promo and DDT. Something else of note here is Alice Cooper, who was a quick celebrity cameo who fit perfectly, didn’t take away from anything else, and had some fun out there. Why is that so complicated to pull off today?

Post match Honky Tonk runs but Jimmy isn’t so lucky. Jake holds him in the corner while Alice throws Damien the snake on him.

Gene Okerlund announces the all time attendance record of 93,173. I know there’s a bunch of controversy about whether they had that many people there, but here’s the thing: WWE says it at 93,173 and that’s the official record. Other than that, it really doesn’t make any difference either way because WWE is going to claim whatever they want and that’s all that matters.

Killer Bees vs. Nikolai Volkoff/Iron Sheik

Volkoff/Sheik are now managed by Slick, who is still in the torn suit. The Bees (Jim Brunzell/B. Brian Blair) are another fast paced team who had a long running feud with the Hart Foundation. Volkoff starts singing the Russian anthem but the recently debuted Jim Duggan runs down with his 2×4 to break it up. Duggan is a huge American patriot who isn’t going to stand for this Communist nonsense in his country. He’s even going to stick around ringside just in case.

It’s a big brawl to start with the foreigners being whipped into each other, only to do-see-do out of trouble…and straight into some right hands. Everything settles down with the Sheik getting his arm cranked. Brunzell’s signature dropkick gets two but everything breaks down and Brunzell gets taken into the foreign corner.

An ax handle gets two for Sheik as the ring is filling up with trash. A gutwrench suplex is good for the same as Duggan is still patrolling ringside. Brunzell finally gets in a flying knee but a Volkoff distraction means the referee doesn’t see the tag. Nikolai puts Brunzell in the camel clutch but Duggan chases Volkoff into the ring for the DQ at 5:43.

Rating: D+. They might as well have had a countdown clock telling us how much more time they had to kill before Hogan vs. Andre. This was another watchable but unremarkable match in a series of them tonight. This was much more about Duggan than anything else, which is fine considering Duggan would wind up being a bigger name than anyone else in the match.

Andre says he’s ready. Heenan says Hogan better be ready.

We recap Andre vs. Hogan. They had been friends for years until the aforementioned trophy incident. Heenan has brainwashed Andre into believing he and Hogan were never friends as Hogan is scared of facing him. To be fair though, Hogan would have a long running history of his friends turning on him over the years so maybe Andre was on to something. I mean, after all those people having issues with Hogan over the years, maybe he’s just a jerk who can’t get along with anything.

Hogan hopes the world can handle the explosion coming in the main event.

The celebrity announcements are shorter this year with Uecker as ring announcer and Mary Hart as timekeeper.

WWF World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Andre the Giant

Hogan is defending of course. After reading off the tale of the tape, Jesse sums up everything in one statement: “This is the biggest match in the history of professional wrestling.” Hogan’s entrance is one of the most famous of all time as he walks down the aisle with Monsoon shouting that “The roof of the Silver Dome about to explode here!” I know I’ve been saying this multiple times for this show, but we get one of the most famous shots ever in wrestling as they stare each other down in the middle of the ring.

Hogan fires off three right hands and tries a slam in the first thirty seconds, only to fall backwards to give Andre a very close two. Heenan would later claim that he didn’t get the shoulder up in time and that the referee couldn’t see the kickout, eventually leading to a rematch. Andre starts in on the back and a heavy slam plants the champion. Hogan is shoved into the corner and Andre slams his hips into the ribs, followed by a big headbutt.

Some right hands have Andre stunned and you can see the sweat flying off his chest as Hogan chops away. Hogan rams him head first into the buckle over and over but charges into a boot to the face and Andre slaps on a bearhug. After a minute and a half in the hold, Hogan holds his arm up on the third drop and breaks it up with even more right hands (about 90% of his offense here). Andre is right back on offense though as he kicks Hogan to the floor, only to headbutt the post by mistake.

Ever the nice guy, Hogan tries a piledriver on exposed concrete. Again, maybe it’s Hogan’s fault that all of these broken friendships. Andre backdrops out of it and we head inside. Hogan ducks a second big boot and drops Andre with a running clothesline. The idea of Andre being knocked off his feet was unthinkable at the time and the fans are stunned. It’s Hulk Up time and Andre stands up, allowing Hogan to slam the giant and become immortal. You can see the fans rise to their feet in shock. The big leg is academic and Hogan retains at 12:07.

Rating: D+. This is always a tricky one. I don’t think it’s any secret to say the match wasn’t all that good. Andre was really slow and banged up but it was a standard formula that had worked for years for Hogan so it makes sense that they wouldn’t mess with it. However, this match has been called one of the worst of all time and that’s just not the case. It might not even be the worst match on this card.

This match was about the big fight feel and it delivered as well as it could have. I don’t think people came into this match expecting something like Savage vs. Steamboat, but for some reason people expected a ridiculously fast pace for a match between two guys destined to work a slow power style. The match isn’t great, but the moment is amazing.

Hogan poses as Heenan and Andre leave with Heenan’s head in his hands, wondering where it all went wrong.

Jesse and Gorilla recap the show to wrap it up and Aretha Franklin sings us out. You don’t often end a show to America the Beautiful but this wasn’t your run of the mill show.

Overall Rating: C+. It’s Wrestlemania III. This one of the few shows that almost every fan has seen or at least heard of and it’s very rare to hear anyone have a bad opinion of it. The show may not be the greatest of all time, but it’s certainly one that holds up over the years. It set the standard for what Wrestlemania could be with a story to almost every match on the card and one major match to draw in the fans. Even the worst matches aren’t bad and nothing overstays its welcome.

Hogan vs. Andre is still the biggest match of all time nearly thirty years later and I can’t imagine it ever being passed. Couple that with a masterpiece in Savage vs. Steamboat and it’s almost impossible to not consider this at least a watchable show. Nothing is bad, the crowd is white hot throughout and it’s definitely a historic show. What more can you ask for? Check this out if you somehow haven’t seen it before.

Ratings Comparison

Can-Am Connection vs. Bob Orton/Don Muraco

Original: B+

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: C+

Billy Jack Haynes vs. Hercules

Original: C-

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: C

Hillbilly Jim/Haiti Kid/Little Beaver vs. King Kong Bundy/Little Tokyo/Lord Littlebrook

Original: F

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D

Harley Race vs. Junkyard Dog

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

Rougeau Brothers vs. Dream Team

Original: D+

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: D+

Roddy Piper vs. Adrian Adonis

Original: C+

2013 Redo: C+

2015 Redo: C+

Hart Foundation/Danny Davis vs. British Bulldogs/Tito Santana

Original: C

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: D+

Koko B. Ware vs. Butch Reed

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

Randy Savage vs. Ricky Steamboat

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A+

2015 Redo: A+

Jake Roberts vs. Honky Tonk Man

Original: C

2013 Redo: C

2015 Redo: C-

Killer Bees vs. Iron Sheik/Nikolai Volkoff

Original: D

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: D+

Hulk Hogan vs. Andre the Giant

Original: A

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: D+

Overall Rating

Original: B+

2013 Redo: A+

2015 Redo: C+

Ok so I might have been a little enthusiastic about this show back in the day.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/03/07/wrestlemania-count-up-3-this-show-is-required-viewing-for-all-fans/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/12/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-iii-the-biggest-match-ever-on-the-biggest-show-ever/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Wrestlemania II
Date: April 7, 1986
Locations: Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum, New York City, New York/Rosemont Horizon, Chicago, Illinois/Los Angeles Memorial Sports Arena, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 16,585 (New York), 9,000 (Chicago), 14,500 (Los Angeles), 40,085 (Total)
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Susan St. James (New York), Gene Okerlund, Gorilla Monsoon, Cathy Lee Crosby (Chicago), Lord Alfred Hayes, Jesse Ventura, Elvira (Los Angeles)

This is basically three miniature shows combined into one big card. Each city would have its live action and then they would get to watch the shows from the other cities. It’s not the best idea in the world but like I said, there’s only so much they can do with the position they’re in. Let’s get to it.

Vince McMahon is in New York to welcome us to the show and introduce Ray Charles to sing America the Beautiful. As would become the custom, various images of American landscapes, military and run of the mill citizens are superimposed over the performance. Charles does an amazing rendition of the song and the fans give him the ovation he deserves.

Gene Okerlund is in Chicago to talk about the battle royal. By talk about I mean he mentions it and then throws it to the next interview.

Roddy Piper is ready for his boxing match and has trainer Lou Duva (who trained names such as Lennox Lewis and Evander Holyfield) in his corner. Piper says he’ll quit everything from wrestling to tiddlywinks to dating girls if Mr. T. can knock him out. He won’t quite Bob Orton of course. However, even if Mr. T. knocks him out, he’ll never, and I quote, “shave his head like an Indian and paint himself black.”

The Magnificent Muraco vs. Paul Orndorff

Muraco is a heel technician who was a very good hand in the ring. This is fallout from last year as Orndorff took the fall in the main event and Piper has sent Muraco to get some revenge. They trade slams to start and the crowd is already white hot. Orndorff is nice enough to make a slant eyes gesture at Muraco’s manager Mr. Fuji. Orndorff takes him down again as Susan St. James (an actress) is staying with this on commentary but clearly has almost no idea who these people are.

Paul cranks on the arm and my goodness Muraco is sweating quite a bit. We hit a wristlock, which St. James calls an ancient Chinese technique. At least she sounds happy to be here so I can excuse some of here bad lines. Muraco gets in a right hand and they brawl to the floor for a double countout at 4:10. The fans loudly swear at the result.

Rating: D. This had no time to go anywhere and I have no idea who thought this was the right way to open a show. I mean, it’s Wrestlemania. It’s ok to actually have a fall here instead of trying to set something up for later. The match wasn’t even any good and that’s not how you want to set the tone for one of the biggest shows of the year.

Mr. T. says he’s fighting for his friend the Haiti Kid, whose hair was cut by Piper and Orton. Fink’s announcement of the double countout drowns out a lot of his words.

Intercontinental Title: Randy Savage vs. George Steele

Steele, a crazy bald man with an incredibly hairy torso, is challenging and is totally in love with Savage’s manager Elizabeth. Savage debuted last year and has taken the company by storm, including taking the Intercontinental Title from Tito Santana earlier in the year. Randy goes to the floor to start before running again from Steele’s waving arms. He runs again and we’re waiting on the first contact nearly a minute in.

Savage isn’t fast enough this time though and George bites his leg as the champion tries to get back inside. Back in and Steele looks at Elizabeth, allowing Savage to hit him in the back and get two off a high cross body. That’s not a move you often see from Savage. Steele throws him to the floor so the champ crawls under the ring and comes around to the other side for a knee to George’s back. That’s fine with George as he bites Savage’s arm and takes over again.

Randy bails to the floor and finds a bouquet of flowers but George shoves them in his face. This is a really uneven comedy match so far and it gets even worse as Steele goes to eat a turnbuckle but opts to shove the stuffing in Savage’s face instead. Steele goes after Elizabeth at ringside, allowing Randy to ax handle him off the apron. Back in and the top rope elbow gets…..two? That’s a very, very rare kickout but it doesn’t matter as Savage rolls him up and throws his feet on the ropes to retain at 7:08.

Rating: D-. What the heck was that? I know Steele had been feuding with Savage for a long time but this was the best they could do for a major match? Total disaster here with the comedy not working and Savage just coming back and grabbing a win at the end. Savage winning was the right idea, but you could have cut a lot of the goofiness out of this to make for a better, or at least less bad match.

George eats another turnbuckle and chases the referee off.

Big John Studd and NFL player Bill Fralic talk trash before the WWF vs. NFL battle royal in Chicago. The announcement of Savage retaining in New York drowns out the yelling.

McMahon and St. James talk about the next match.

George Wells vs. Jake Roberts

Roberts is another newcomer and this is the high point of Wells’ career. George grabs a quick backdrop to start and Jake can barely stand up. They head outside (notice Jake sliding out like a snake) for more punishment to Jake, followed by a nice flying shoulder from George (ex-pro football player) back inside. Wells knocks him into the ropes but opts not to cover. A good looking powerslam gets two on Jake but he comes back with a thumb to the eye. Jake slides to the floor and gets George to chase him back inside, setting up the DDT for the pin at 3:08.

Rating: D+. This is probably the best match of the night so far and it’s just a step above a regular TV match. Jake was clearly going to be something interesting long term but he was still establishing himself at this point. Well could have been any given warm body here and that’s still a normal spot to have on these early Wrestlemanias.

Jake wraps the snake around Wells post match, making Wells foam at the mouth.

We recap Mr. T. vs. Roddy Piper, which started up again after Mr. T. won a boxing match on Saturday Night’s Main Event. Piper wanted to fight him next but Bob Orton helped Piper beat him down instead.

Out in Los Angeles, Hulk Hogan is ready for King Kong Bundy in the cage because he doesn’t like people who take shortcuts. This show is all over the place so far.

We introduce the celebrities for the boxing match. Comedienne Joan Rivers is guest ring announcer and introduces NBA star Darryl Dawkins, singer Cab Calloway and Watergate participant G. Gordon Liddy. Herbert, a character in Burger King commercials at the time, is guest timekeeper. There are no words to describe the drop from Liberace, Billy Martin and Muhammad Ali to…..this.

Mr. T. vs. Roddy Piper

Boxing match. Piper has Lou Duva as his trainer and Mr. T. has Joe Frazier. They circle each other to start with Mr. T. hiding behind his gloves and bobbing away from Piper’s punches. The referee keeps having to break up their brawls against the ropes and not a lot has happened so far. Both guys get in a few quick flurries before the first round wraps up.

Round two begins with Mr. T. claiming that Piper has a bunch of grease on his face. Mr. T. gets him into the corner and hammers away as these are clearly fake punches since both guys would be dead otherwise. Piper gets in some heavy rights in the corner and actually knocks him down to a big cheer from the crowd. Even more bombs have Mr. T. in trouble as the round ends.

Between rounds, Orton throws water at Mr. T. in the corner because he’s a villain like that. Mr. T. starts the round well as he basically shoves Piper down into the corner with some punches thrown in as bonuses. Roddy is up at eight so they shove each other, followed by a big left that clearly barely made contact but knocks Piper all the way out to the floor anyway. Back up and the round ends with little else happening.

Piper throws his stool at Mr. T. to start round four and they stand there trading bombs for a bit. Piper starts getting the better of it including a huge right hand that knocks out Mr. T.’s mouthpiece. Mr. T. does the same as St. James wants this to stop. As do the fans now as they’re cheering for Piper. With nothing else working, Piper slams Mr. T. down and it’s a DQ because of course it is.

Rating: D+. As fake as the punches clearly were, this was actually pretty entertaining at times due to how hard they were hitting each other. On top of that, I’ll take this over Mr. T. trying to wrestle again because that could have been an even bigger disaster. This was your standard boxing match on a wrestling show and that’s all they could have done here.

Off to Chicago. The ring looks much smaller here.

Women’s Title: Fabulous Moolah vs. Velvet McIntyre

Moolah is defending. McIntyre is an Irish wrestler who was one of the more popular women in the division in the 80s. Moolah hair drags her around to start but McIntyre comes back with some one footed dropkicks. Velvet misses a middle rope splash though and Moolah gets the pin at 59 seconds. It’s not entirely clear why this ended so fast but Velvet’s top might have snapped on that landing. You can definitely see Velvet adjusting her top which looks very loose. She gets out of the ring very quickly as well.

Nikolai Volkoff vs. Corporal Kirchner

This is a flag match meaning the winner gets to wave his country’s flag. Kirchner is considered one of wrestling’s all time toughest guys and would wind up wrestling in Japan under the name Leatherface. Volkoff throws him to the floor to start and posts the Corporal before biting his forehead. Back in and Kirchner hammers away (with the ring being VERY loud for some reason, as it was back in the same arena at the Wrestling Classic) but the referee goes down. With the distraction, Volkoff’s manager Freddie Blassie throws in his cane, only to have Kirchner intercept it and knock Volkoff out for the pin at 1:35.

Gene Okerlund does the ring introductions for the battle royal. This match has its own celebrities with Clara Peller (starred in Wendy’s ads) as timekeeper and Chicago Bears legend Dick Butkus and Dallas Cowboy Too Tall Jones as guest referees.

Battle Royal

WWF: Pedro Morales, Tony Atlas, Ted Arcidi, Dan Spivey, Hillbilly Jim, King Tonga, Iron Sheik, B. Brian Blair, Jim Brunzell, John Studd, Bret Hart, Jim Neidhart, Bruno Sammartino, Andre the Giant

NFL: Jimbo Covert, Harvey Martin, Ernie Holmes, Bill Fralic, Russ Francis, William Perry

I’m not going to bother listing off who most of these wrestlers are because most of them aren’t going to mean a thing here. As you can see, the NFL players are a bit outnumbered. Ernie Ladd, former football star and future WWE Hall of Famer, joins commentary in a smart move. It’s a wild brawl to start as is often the case in a battle royal. Covert saves Perry from elimination but is put out along with King Tonga a few seconds later.

Francis thinks it’s a good idea to go after Andre and only barely slides back in from the apron. Bruno dumps Holmes out and it’s Andre vs. Studd to a nice reaction. Someone eliminates Brunzell and the ring is starting to clean out a bit. Perry tosses Atlas to a BIG pop and then goes to fight with Studd. Morales and Martin go out at the same time and nearly get in a fight at ringside.

Arcidi is put out and Spivey is gone a few seconds later. There go Hillbilly Jim and Blair, followed by Fralic a few seconds later. Sammartino throws out the Sheik and we’re down to Andre, Francis, Studd, Sammartino, Hart, Neidhart and Perry. Things can finally slow down after several minutes of just random eliminations. Studd tosses Bruno and actually puts Andre down in the corner.

Perry EXPLODES at the Hart Foundation and knocks them out to the apron. The fans are all excited but Perry charges into Studd’s elbow and gets hiptossed out. Perry offers a handshake but suckers Studd in by pulling him out to the floor to get the people going all over again. Francis tries to fight the Harts by himself but eats a headbutt from Andre. A double dropkick ties Andre up in the ropes and Francis is easily tossed out.

So it’s Andre, Neidhart and Hart and I don’t see this going well for the normal sized guys. Andre kicks both of them out of the corner, grabs Neidhart by the beard, kicks him in the face and puts him out. Bret tries to come in off the top and gets tossed out with ease to give Andre the win at 9:03.

Rating: D+. Not much to see here and they made no secret of the fact that Andre was the obvious winner. The football players were really just a novelty so you could have a battle royal without looking like it was an easy way to get people on the card. They kept this short and to the point which helps things out quite a bit. Perry got the crowd going and Andre winning was the right call so no one is hurt here.

Back in New York, Piper says Mr. T. and William Perry are both cheaters. Piper denies cheating by shoving the referee.

Covert says he got cheated when someone jumped him from behind.

Iron Sheik says he proved wrestling is tougher than football.

We recap the end of the battle royal.

Tag Team Titles: British Bulldogs vs. Dream Team

The Dream Team is Brutus Beefcake/Greg Valentine and are defending. The Bulldogs are Davey Boy Smith (also known as the British Bulldog) and Dynamite Kid, who are managed by Lou Albano and have Ozzy Osbourne in their corner for no apparent reason. Even Gorilla doesn’t seem to know why he’s out there. Smith and Valentine start things off with Davey cranking on the arm.

It’s quickly off to Dynamite as things speed up, including a big shoulder to knock Valentine into the corner. Greg comes back with a suplex but Smith comes in to scare Valentine out to the floor. Back in and Valentin gets in a headbutt to the ribs and tags out to Beefcake for the first time. Beefcake is quickly press slammed and it’s back to Dynamite for a hard clothesline.

Brutus finally drags Davey off to the corner and makes the tag off to Greg, who comes in off the top with a forearm to the back. That’s some good heel tag team work and it’s as successful as always. Dynamite comes in anyway though and it’s time for some hard forearms and shoulders in the corner. A backbreaker gets two on Valentine with Brutus having to make the save. It’s not often that you see a tag match stay even this long but this was before the Rock and Roll Express vs. Midnight Express had created the classic tag team formula.

Valentine comes back with a piledriver (where he picked him up for a traditional version but kneeled forward like a tombstone) for two but he crotches himself on the Kid’s knees. Everything breaks down and the powerslam plants Valentine for two. Davey misses a charge into the post though and the champs start in on the arm.

A hammerlock slam and a top rope elbow onto the shoulder have Davey in even more trouble and Valentine gets two off a shoulder breaker. For some reason he pulls Smith up at two and Okerlund thinks it’s going to come back and haunt him. As he says this, Dynamite gets on the middle rope and sticks his head out. Smith rams Valentine head first into the Kid’s head, knocking Dynamite down onto the floor but knocking Greg out cold for the pin and the titles at 12:03.

Rating: B. Match of the night by far here with Dynamite taking one heck of a bump to end the match. The Bulldogs were a great team and they definitely deserved the titles and they did it in a tag match that went completely against the common tag team formula. Unfortunately it felt like it was much more about a way to get Osbourne on screen, which is only going to get worse.

Albano and Osbourne celebrate as the Bulldogs remember what planet they’re on. Kid can’t talk or stand as he’s still recovering from having being knocked off the middle rope and down onto the floor with no one to catch him. That’s a scary bump and it’s no shock that his body gave out on him so soon after this.

Vince and Susan talk about the title change and preview the main event.

The Los Angeles announcers (Jesse Ventura, Elvira, Lord Alfred Hayes) preview their section of the card.

Hercules Hernandez vs. Ricky Steamboat

Hernandez is better known simply as Hercules and is a big power guy as you would expect. Hercules jumps him from behind to start but Ricky comes back with a big chop. It’s time for the armdrags from Steamboat and he cranks on an armbar as is so often his custom. Back up and an elbow to the jaw drops Hercules and it’s off to the arm again. Hercules finally realizes that his name is Hercules and clotheslines Ricky’s head off before driving some hard knees into the side of his head.

There’s a Stun Gun for no cover as Elvira is proving to be the most worthless commentator of all time as she just babbles about how she’s never seen anything like this before. Hercules returns the back elbow to the jaw and gorilla presses Ricky twice in a row. Ricky raises his knees to stop a top rope splash (way out of character for Hercules) and finishes with the high cross body at 7:34.

Rating: D+. This was a standard power vs. speed match which could have been worse but still wasn’t anything worth seeing. Hernandez was a one dimensional wrestler which made him a good foil for someone like Steamboat who could mix up his offense enough to figure out a way around the power. It’s a fine match but really nothing out of the ordinary.

Uncle Elmer vs. Adrian Adonis

Adonis is a flamboyant guy in a pink dress and make-up while Elmer is a 400+lb hillbilly. They’re not exactly going with the high brow ideas here. Elmer attacks to start and sends Adrian to the floor with a single forearm. Adrian rips the ring skirt off and manager Jimmy Hart is beside himself. Elmer pulls Adonis to the apron and starts ripping off the dress. You knew they were going here eventually. A big punch to Elmer’s chest puts him down and Adonis takes off the dress to reveal regular trunks. Elmer comes back with a corner splash but he misses a legdrop, allowing Adonis to drop a top rope headbutt/splash for the pin at 3:04.

Rating: F. This is the kind of stuff I can’t stand in wrestling. Adonis and Elmer are two of the most basic, stereotypical characters they could have put together and it looks stupid. This catered to the lowest common denominator and that’s never the kind of wrestling you want to have. It doesn’t help that the match was awful.

Adonis puts a bow on Elmer’s back.

Hogan is ready to step inside a cage with King Kong Bundy after Bundy damaged his ribs a few months ago. All Hogan wants is for Bobby Heenan to try to get involved.

Funk Brothers vs. Junkyard Dog/Tito Santana

The Funks are Terry/Hoss (better known as Dory Jr.) and they’re managed by Jimmy Hart. Dog and Hoss get things going but Terry is quickly dragged inside so Dog can slam both brothers. Things settle down to Tito vs. Terry but both Funks are quickly dropkicked out to the floor. Back in again and it’s Dog ramming Terry’s face into the buckle several times as this has been one sided so far. It’s off to Dory vs. Tito with the Funks finally taking over but Tito comes back with the flying forearm for two.

Terry sends him out to the floor for some stomps from Hart and Elvira rants about how Hart needs to be ejected, sounding like someone who has never watched wrestling in her life. Back in and Tito reverses a suplex into one of his own as Elvira wants some trunks ripped off. Terry misses a legdrop and it’s off to the Dog for more headbutts. House is cleaned and Terry gets backdropped over the top. Dog slams him onto a table and busts up Terry’s leg. Everything breaks down and Terry blasts Dog in the head with the megaphone for the pin at 11:43.

Rating: B-. Fun match here with the Funks working very well together against the always entertaining Tito and the always charismatic Dog. It seemed that they were setting the Funks up as a potential challenge to the Bulldogs but they wouldn’t be around long. This was a nice tag match though and one of the best things on the card.

The announcers have an awkward chat as the cage is assembled.

To fill in some more time, we see King Kong Bundy attacking Hogan on a Saturday Night’s Main Event and injuring the champ’s ribs to set this up. It’s really not much of a storyline and it was only set up about a month in advance. With the talent they had on the roster (Savage, Roberts and Piper), this really is a questionable opponent for Hogan.

The doctor has recommended that Hogan doesn’t wrestle. As his ribs are being taped, Hogan puts a 100lb dumbbell around his neck and does chin-ups.

Bobby Heenan talks about how important a day this is for him because he’s going to get to pack the World Title in Bundy’s suitcase tonight. Bundy promises to send Hogan to the hospital all over again.

In New York, Susan St. James picks Hogan.

Time for the celebrities. Los Angeles Dodgers manager Tommy Lasorda is guest ring announcer, actor Ricky Schroder is timekeeper and Robert Conrad is outside referee, meaning he won’t be doing much of anything.

WWF World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. King Kong Bundy

Hogan is defending inside a cage (the big blue one in one of its earliest, if not the earliest, appearances) of course. Big pop for the champ as you would expect. They slug it out to start with Hogan knocking him into the ropes and nailing the big boot early on. This has already gone on longer than Bundy’s match last year. Hogan fires off a forearm in the corner which I don’t think I’ve ever seen him use before.

Bundy can’t ram him into the cage so he FINALLY goes after the taped up ribs. He slams Hogan to the mat and steps on his head as we go to an overhead shot. Hulk has to dive across the ring to keep Bundy from getting out so Bundy rams him back first into the cage. There goes the tape and Elvira is happy about more clothes coming off. Bundy chokes with the tape. Elvira: “He can’t do that can he?” Ventura is clearly getting annoyed at having to explain basic concepts like “there are no rules” to her over and over.

Hogan comes back with more right hands and sends Bundy face first into the cage to bust him open. Bundy gets choked on the ropes but Hogan, ever the moron, falls backwards trying a slam. That’s still not enough though as Hogan chokes with the tape, only to eat the big splashes that busted up the ribs in the first place.

We get the Hogan “fish out of the water” shaking but he still gets over to save the title again. Hogan gets all fired up again and powerslams Bundy (that’s very rare as it’s almost always a regular slam) before kicking him out of the corner. Heenan’s save fails miserable and Hogan climbs down (Elvira: “All right he’s gonna win!”) to retain at 10:18.

Rating: D+. It’s not a good match and Elvira made it insufferable but Hogan vs. a monster in the 80s is as much of a layup as you’re going to find in these early years. Bundy might have been considered a bigger threat back in the day but this felt like any given house show loop and a match that these two probably had a few dozen times around the country.

Hogan beats up Heenan and poses to end the show as Vince wraps it up from New York.

Overall Rating: D. There’s no way around it: this is one of the worst Wrestlemanias of all time. That being said, I always give this one a bit of a pass as they had no idea what they had with Wrestlemania or even pay per view in general. This felt like a bunch of house shows clipped down and edited together into one big one and that’s not the most interesting thing in the world. Hogan vs. Bundy is a very run of the mill main event but some of the tag matches are entertaining enough. The match is far more dull and lame than bad, but that doesn’t make it something fun to watch.

Ratings Comparison

Paul Orndorff vs. Don Muraco

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

George Steele vs. Randy Savage

Original: C-

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: D-

Jake Roberts vs. George Wells

Original: F

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D+

Roddy Piper vs. Mr. T.

Original: F

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D+

Velvet McIntyre vs. Fabulous Moolah

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

Corporal Kirschner vs. Nikolai Volkoff

Original: D-

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

Battle Royal

Original: B

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D+

British Bulldog vs. Dream Team

Original: B

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: B

Rick Steamboat vs. Hercules Hernandez

Original: C-

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: D+

Uncle Elmer vs. Adrian Adonis

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: D-

2015 Redo: F

Tito Santana/Junkyard Dog vs. Terry Funk/Hoss Funk

Original: B-

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: B-

Hulk Hogan vs. King Kong Bundy

Original: B-

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D+

Overall Rating

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

Wrestlemania II is….weird. Like, really weird.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/09/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-2-what-the-hell-were-they-thinking/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/11/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-ii-three-times-the-suck/