Back to the tag team division with LAX. This will be a bit different as they were only a regular team for a few years in TNA so it’s going to be a very compact series of matches.

 

The team officially formed on New Year’s Eve 2005, though at this point it was Konnan leading the team of Apolo and Homicide. Apolo was soon replaced by Machete, who was thrown out of the group by the end of March. Hernandez joined the team and would remain partners with Homicide for the team’s entire run.

 

The first major angle for the team saw them refuse to wrestle due to discrimination against Latinos. Jim Cornette said as long as there was a work stoppage, there would be a check stoppage. This led to their first PPV match at Victory Road 2006.

 

LAX vs. Sonjay Dutt/Ron Killings

LAX has their own announcer who speaks Spanish. There’s a section of the arena that has “graffiti” all over it. Dutt is a guy that is always around and no one ever really cared. Killings is more commonly known as R-Truth. It’s weird to hear What’s Up as his theme music but he wrote it so it’s officially his song so it’s here in TNA also. His entrance takes forever here as we get into the rarely heard third verse.

LAX jumps them to start and Hernandez goes sailing over the top which wasn’t his intentions. Homicide hits a big dive to take out Dutt but Truth takes out all of LAX in return. Truth vs. Homicide in the ring now. Truth wipes himself with Homicide’s headband. Sunset flip gets two and we get a pinfall reversal sequence. I’ve never been a fan of homicide but he’s moving pretty well here.

Off to Dutt now who speeds things up a bit and gets two on Homicide. I think this is your X-Division tag match here. The guys both get dueling chants. Hernandez comes in and Dutt can’t do a thing to him. Since Hernandez did well while he was in he tags out to Homicide who didn’t do well while he was in there. We hit the chinlock on Dutt for a few seconds but Dutt speeds things up again which doesn’t work that well.

Back off to Hernandez as this is some weird cousin of power vs. speed. Dutt tries to move again and gets caught in a backbreaker that Truth has to break up. Homicide sends him to the floor and Konnan hammers away a bit more. Sonjay speeds things up again (notice a pattern here?) and it lets him bring in Truth.

Truth takes over with his usual odd offense and throws in Konnan’s rolling clothesline. Gringo Cutter by Homicide gets two. Truth blocks a suplerplex and gets a Falcon’s Arrow from the middle rope for two. They go to the floor so Hernandez and Dutt go at it some more. Finally the speed works but Homicide cracks…something with a chair and gets taken down by Truth. Sonjay goes up and Konnan hits him with a slapjack to allow a Border Toss to end this.

Rating: C. Just a tag match here as we’re 45 minutes into this show and nothing has stood out at all yet. LAX is getting a push here which I guess is fine. They would get the titles in a few months and hold them for all of a month, showing once again that brilliant TNA booking. These tag matches so far have been glorified squashes. I’m not sure I get the point.

 

Soon after this LAX went after the Tag Team Titles and won the belts from AJ Styles and Christopher Daniels on Impact in August. The rematch was an Ultimate X match at No Surrender 2006.

 

Tag Titles: LAX vs. Christoper Daniels/AJ Styles

LAX are champions. After some big match intros (with JB messing up LAX’s combined weight) we’re ready to go. The ring is cleared out very quickly and now it’s Homicide vs. AJ. The murder enthusiast goes up but Daniels makes a quick save. AJ can’t get there either as the fans know this isn’t ending that quickly. Homicide hits a suicide on the dead guy (angels are dead people right?) out to the floor as this is kind of a mess to start.

AJ is like screw it and hits a HUGE spinning moonsault over the top to take out Hernandez. That looked great. Hernandez wants to dive but Daniels makes the stop. Koji Clutch is broken up by Homicide. Hernandez tries what Monty Brown called the Alpha Bomb but it results in double teaming by the champions. There’s a modified Border Toss and AJ is half dead.

Hernandez brings in a ladder, showing some intelligence. In a nice move, AJ sends Homicide under the ladder on an Irish whip and then shoves it onto him. That looked good too. The ladder is gone now. In another cool move, Hernandez and Daniels are on top and Hernandez grabs him by the throat and hits more or less a choke overhead belly to belly to send Daniels flying.

AJ gets up and breaks up Supermex trying to go across with the forearm. Homicide pops Styles with a chair and goes across but he has a bad shoulder. Styles goes after him but Homicide gets a cutter off the X and both are down. Daniels goes up and Tenay sounds orgasmic. Hernandez goes again and again is caught. AJ speeds things up and a Pele takes Supermex down and there’s the moonsault DDT to Homicide.

The challengers try some double teaming but Supermex is too strong. Konnan sets a table on the floor but AJ escapes the Border Toss through it. More double teaming slows the big dude down including the BME and Spiral Tap. AJ manages to get the Clash off the apron to Homicide through the table in an awesome spot. Konnan clocks him with a slapjack off camera. Konnan comes in but Daniels goes on top of the structure in the insanity and dives onto the X, pulling down the titles to win. Scary SCARY finish as if he misses that he’s more or less dead.

Rating: A. I know TNA tends to overhype some of its stuff but this was indeed awesome. It was totally insane and doesn’t stop at all from bell to bell. The ending is awesome and there are enough jaw dropping moments in this to make everything work. This is well worth checking out, if nothing else for the spectacle of the ending. I see why this was match of the year for sure.

 

The final rematch was at Bound For Glory 2006 inside a cage.

 

Tag Titles: LAX vs. Christopher Daniels/AJ Styles

Styles and Daniels are the champions. The champs run in and the brawl is on. Unfortunately they have to tag in this which really takes away the violence aspect of it. I wouldn’t bet on it lasting long though. AJ and Homicide start with the dropkick spot putting the murder inspired one down. Off to Daniels as the champions hit a combination clothesline/belly to back suplex for two.

Styles comes back in for a backbreaker for two. AJ gets sent into the cage and it’s off to Hernandez. Styles moves around quickly and manages a tag but gets sent into the cage anyway. Homicide’s torndado DDT is countered but SuperMex takes his head off with a clothesline. The challengers look like they’re setting for a Doomsday Device but Hernandez drops him backwards and Homicide hits a top rope elbow for two. Nice change of pace. AJ is busted but we didn’t get a shot of him until now.

Konnan slides in an object to Homicide which goes into Daniels’ head. It appears to be a fork but Hebner doesn’t see it. Off to Hernandez to give Daniels a neck rub. Homicide gets a bottle of tequila from somewhere and spits some into Daniels’ face. They go up top and Daniels hits a sitout hiptoss for two to break the momentum. There’s the tag to AJ who hits the backflip into the reverse DDT for two. Everything breaks down as you would expect it to and Daniels clotheslines Homicide over and over.

The champions go high low on Homicide and are firmly in control. Hernandez has his face rammed into the cage and AJ hits the Pele on Homicide for two. Now Homicide gets the fork put in his head. AJ has no problem with the referee seeing that but Homicide hid it earlier. Hernandez starts going on another rampage but walks into a Pele to put everyone down.

AJ goes to the top of the cage (I think you can only win by pin/submission), drawing a please don’t die chant. The others catch him and try a Tower of Doom but AJ can’t get into position so he stays on top. That’s good as I was legit scared of him taking that bump from there. Instead he hits a HUGE cross body to Hernandez off the cage for two. Homicide hits a cutter on AJ but walks into an STO from Daniels.

Hernandez runs over Christopher and goes to the top of the cage also. He misses his splash and if he’s still alive I’ll be stunned. Daniels tries the Angel’s Wings on Hernandez but Homicide got a coat hanger from Konnan to choke him out. Konnan gets it back and chokes him from outside the ring. Hernandez breaks up the Clash and the Gringo Killa gives LAX the titles back.

Rating: A-. Another great match here with them finally saying screw this tagging stuff and letting it all hang out there, which is what you’re supposed to do in a big match. That dive by AJ was incredible but for some reason, probably fear, Hernandez’s didn’t get much of a reaction at all. Still though, great match but somehow it isn’t as good as the Ultimate X match they had the month before.

The next match was against the best TNA tag team of all time and is from Genesis 2006.

 

Tag Titles: LAX vs. America’s Most Wanted

LAX has the titles. Konnan says TNA and Cornette can’t stop him from burning the flag tonight or there’s going to be a lawsuit. AMW jumps them and the brawl starts on the floor. I think the match has started but I’m not really sure. AMW double teams Homicide in the ring and throws him on top of Hernandez on the floor. Things settle down with Harris vs. Hernandez. Harris pounds him down but can’t hang with the power so it’s off to Homicide.

Hernandez comes back in very quickly and hooks a one arm chinlock. The champs tag very quickly as Homicide chops on Harris so Hernandez can choke him on the floor. Off to a Homicide chinlock which sounds like police jargon. Harris comes back with a spinebuster and both guys are down. Storm (looking really strange without the beard) starts a USA chant before he gets the hot tag.

Hernandez throws him over the top but Storm skins the cat and comes back with a headscissors. James has to fight both of them at once and Harris saves him from the Border Toss. Harris comes in and hits something like a hybrid between a Thesz Press and a shoulder block to take SuperMex down. Suplex gets two. Homicide runs in for a tornado DDT to take Harris down.

Storm comes in but I don’t think there was a tag. That brazen cheater. AMW loads up the Death Sentence but Hernandez makes the save. He goes up top and grabs Harris by the throat, throwing him over his head in a choking belly to belly superplex for two. Hernandez hits a powerbomb to set up a Homicide frog splash for two.

Gringo Killa is escaped and AMW hits something like a Hart Attack for two. Enziguri from Storm to Hernandez and Harris adds a top rope clothesline to take the big guy down. Death Sentence hits but Konnan has the referee. Homicide comes in with the blowtorch for the flag to the back of Storm’s head for the pin to retain the titles.

Rating: B-. This was much more of a brawl than a match and based on the story, that’s what it should have been. AMW wasn’t going to be around much longer but they were still a name, so having them put over the hot new team of LAX was probably the best thing they could have been used for. Fun stuff here.

Post match LAX goes to beat up Gail but Petey Williams comes out for the save as AMW gets back up. Jim Cornette comes out and says the titles are stripped. That would be overturned and the belts would be returned on Thursday. The title reign was considered one continuous run. Since this is Cornette, it takes a few minutes to get through that, including a big patriotism speech. The fans HATE this decision too. If they don’t give up the belts by Thursday, they’re fired.

LAX’s next big feud was against Team 3D, with LAX attacking various friends of Team 3D. This led to a Ghetto Brawl (street fight) at Destination X 2007.

 

LAX vs. Team 3D

This is a ghetto brawl. LAX are tag champions (still NWA for the next two months or so) but this is non-title. Machete is here for a one off moment as he pushes Konnan in his wheelchair. It’s Homicide/Hernandez though so at least you don’t have to figure anything out. You can win by pin, submission or putting someone through a table. The show is dedicated to Ernie Ladd who died the previous night.

Johnny Rodz, the guy that trained Team 3D is here as LAX both beat him up recently. Big brawl to start us off of course as the fans want blood. Homicide gets a tornado DDT onto something on D-Von as he cleans house on his own. All LAX to start here as we hear about how Team 3D wants the NWA Titles. Hernandez hits a HUGE dive over the top as Ray uses a mannequin head. When you’re stealing ideas from Al Snow, you’re in trouble.

Homicide hits Ray in the head and Ray wants more of it. The second one knocks him back so maybe he’s not that intelligent. Into the crowd we go with D-Von vs. Hernandez and Homicide vs. Bubba. D-Von uses a crutch on Hernandez and grabs some sunglasses from someone. The pairings get together after about two minutes and they switch off.

Hernandez is thrown into a wall. Tenay: “He fought the wall and the wall won.” He’s been holding that one in since the end of WCW hasn’t he? The fans chant this is awesome and it’s been pretty solid so far. Back in the ring and D-Von gets a powerslam on Homicide for two. Hernandez throws D-Von around a bit until Bubba comes back in. The garbage cans are black here so they look a bit more realistic.

Ray pelts one at Hernandez who was on top so he can get a superplex. No cover though as Homicide gets a pretty decent top rope rana for two. What’s Up to Homicide and it’s time….for beers? Ah now it’s Table Time. A table gets set up but the Latino Nation, which is like 6 guys, runs in for a big beatdown.

Rodz comes in and of course can clean house despite being 67 or so here. LAX gets up and OLD MAN BEATDOWN BABY!!! D-Von’s “brothers” come in and it’s a total ethnic war. Reverse neckbreaker and Doomsday Device both get two on either LAX guy. Border Toss doesn’t work on D-Von as Hernandez walks into the 3D for two as Machete pulls the referee out. The gangs come back so BUBBA DIVES OFF THE TOP ONTO ALL OF THEM!!!!!! WOW!!! Shelley comes down for no apparent reason and hits D-Von with his camera (huge pop/chant for that) and adds a frog splash through the table so Homicide can get the pin.

Rating: B. Fun brawl here which went everywhere and felt like a brawl instead of some stupid tag match. This went 15 minutes and it didn’t get dull which is the key to it. Very fun brawl with the gangs actually being a nice addition. Not sure why this was the opener but it was certainly good.

 

The rematch was an electrified steel cage match at Lockdown 2007.

 

Tag Titles: Team 3D vs. LAX

No Konnan to start. This gets big match intros as it’s basically the first of two main events. The lights are dimmed for this so it’s almost blue. Apparently the current going through the cage is only on in certain places at certain times. They don’t have to tag because when the cage is electrified, tagging is pretty stupid. Team 3D controls to start. This is a hard match to call because they’re moving around kind of strangely here, due to trying to avoid the cage. It’s not bad per se, but it’s not the most exciting thing in the world.

What’s Up hits and at least D-Von was very tentative about going up due to being next to the cage. LAX takes over and uses whatever cheating methods they can. D-Von is busted and Homicide’s hand touches the cage to give us the first electrocution in the match. I didn’t expect to have to write that. Hernandez is busted too. He goes up but D-Von manages to crotch him. Homicide is crotched as well and we get nearly stereo superplexes.

D-Von beats up Homicide, hitting a powerslam for two. Konnan has been wheeled out. Whoever wheeled him out beat down the outside referee and gave Konnan some rubber gloves. Hector Guerrero, the Spanish announcer, jumps that guy (we can’t see who he is) and stares down Konnan. Apparently the guy who wheeled Konnan out was trying to get the key to the door. Hector unlocked it and the door is open. It’s hard to tell what’s going on due to the light. Bubba yells at him to hand him an F’ing table.

The delay allows for LAX to get a quick takeover but Hernandez stops to yell at Hector, so Hector slams the door on his head. The double neckbreker gets two on SuperMex. Bubba Bomb gets two on Homicide. Samoan Drop gets two on D-Von. Top rope elbow gets the same. This has gotten a good deal better. HUGE layout powerbomb gets two on Homicide by Bubba.

We get the first big electrocution spot as Hernandez Border Tosses D-Von into the cage and he vibrates like a fish on a fish frying plate. He’s COVERED in blood, which would be more effective if you could see it. The fans aren’t that thrilled with this as they chant Fire Russo. A middle rope elbow gets two for Bubba. D-Von is apparently fine after the MASSIVE ELECTROCUTION as a Doomsday Device gets two.

The table gets loaded up and D-Von is placed onto it. Hernandez puts some rubber gloves on but takes forever to do it. He climbs to the top of the cage but since he took FOREVER, the splash through the table misses. Looked awesome though. The Dudleys take over on Homicide, throw him into the cage, botch a 3D off the cage and then hit the 3D for the pin and the titles.

Rating: D. Yes it was bad, but it wasn’t THAT bad. I mean, if you compare this to the blindfold match it’s a masterpiece. The cage stuff was stupid and I’m really not sure what the point of the lights was. Maybe the cage sucked too much electricity out? Anyway, not a horrible match but it was probably way too much for the payoff they got out of it.

The team would turn face over the summer and go after the titles again. Their first step in getting them back was facing Triple X in a #1 contenders Ultimate X match at Bound For Glory 2007.

 

Triple X vs. LAX

Senshi (Low Ki/Kaval) and Elix Skipper representing Triple X here. This is Ultimate X and for the #1 contender spot. Think that’s enough Xs in this match? XXX goes for the X almost immediately but LAX (see what I mean?) makes the save and it’s a big brawl to start. These matches are hard to call for the most part as they’re pretty all over the place. With just four guys though it’s far easier to do.

It’s so weird seeing Kaval out there over three years ago like this. Homicide gets a chance to make a run but Senshi makes the save. Both teams are pretty much just beating each other up here to wear them down (wouldn’t that cancel the beating up part?) so they can go up (I guess that gives up the advantage again) and pull the X down (are you getting my boredom here?)

Homicide gets his signature tope con hilo to take out Senshi. Hernandez goes up and JUMPS halfway across the cables and almost gets there that way. That guy is freaking scary. A lot of near grabs for both teams here but LAX is clearly the more dominant team here. Skipper goes all the way up to the top of the structure and hits a MASSIVE cross body to Homicide in the ring.

In a cool looking spot, Skipper and Homicide both do the look up at the ceiling crawl and hit a double neckbreaker to bring the other guy down. That was a new one. I’m not a fan of that overhead shot. Granted that might be the constant camera cuts that TNA is obsessed with. In a painful and STUPID looking spot, Homicide is put in the Tree of Woe as Senshi does the Warrior’s Way onto him.

If you’re Homicide, WHY WOULD YOU SIT UP? You know his finisher is the double stomp so why would you give him the right positioning for it? Mike Tenay says we’re in the ATL. My head hurts again. Skipper stops Hernandez from diving over the ropes which would have been cool to see. Border Toss by Hernandez to send Skipper flying to the other two guys on the floor. Hernandez gets the X with ease just afterwards.

Rating: B-. Bunch of big spots in there which were nice and the match worked pretty well. Hernandez is shown off as the mega star of the team which makes sense as he’s by far the bigger deal. This was a pretty good match but as usual with these matches it would help to have them be for the titles rather than a shot at a later date at said titles. But Pacman Jones is a tag champion at this point so we can’t have that match. Such is TNA.

 

LAX would lose their shot so it was another #1 contenders match at Destination X 2008.

 

LAX vs. Motor City Machine Guns vs. Rock N Rave Infection

The winners are #1 contenders for Styles and Tomko. Christy Hemme isn’t human. She can’t be. Wow it’s weird to think that the Guns are the reigning tag champions as I’m typing this. We hear about how they’ve never won the belts. They wouldn’t for over two years. That’s pretty freaking sad. We keep hearing about should Earl Hebner’s vote be changed by Jim Cornette. Don’t worry about what it was or anything.

Sabin and Homicide start. Dang the Guns are fun to watch. Hernandez gets a LONG suplex on Lance Hoyt (Vance Archer). This match is kind of a mess but not entirely. Hernandez does the Undertaker Dive which isn’t as good as Taker’s but still looked good. Shelley takes two amigos and the third is him into a backbreaker from SuperMex.

LAX is dominating here and they’re likely the best team at this point so they’re getting that right. We then see why Rock and Rave never went anywhere as Rock hits the worst clothesline this side of Donald Trump to put Shelley down. A very slow moonsault misses though but no hot tag. Hernandez comes in again and cleans house with some not very good power moves. They crank things up again and with everyone on the floor, Rave takes the Border Toss to end it for LAX.

Rating: B-. PERFECT choice for the opener here. They were flying all over the place and things were definitely fun here. The fans are into it now and things are going very well. That being said, the rest of things are probably going to all be downhill from here as the rest of the card has a tendency to go downhill after the first match. This did a good job of not going insane with just big mess all over which is rare. This was good.

 

The Tag Team Titles would be vacated around this time and held up in the Deuces Wild Tag Team Tournament. The idea was that random pairings would face established teams, but at the end of the day it was LAX vs. Team 3D in the finals at Sacrifice 2008.

 

Tag Titles: LAX vs. Team 3D

Wow the top face team is facing the top heel team in the finals. Who saw this coming? We get little clips talking about how each team got here. 3D gets in Hector’s face so Homicide gets a running start and takes Bubba out with a tope con hilo. It’s a brawl on the ramp to start with no one really having a distinct advantage. I’m not sure if this is part of the match or not.

Ray gets in some weak weapon shots and sends Hernandez into the steps. No one has been in the ring yet. Ok now we do have people in there with D-Von vs. Homicide and the bell finally rings after about three minutes of brawling. D-Von is sent to the floor almost immediately but Ray shoves Homicide off the top to prevent a dive. The fans chant 187 as the Dudleys control.

Delayed vertical gets two for D-Von. Ray throws on a triangle choke/head scissors as again we’re waiting on the hot tag to Hernandez to do the dominating. Tenay says Team 3D is taking advantage of a situation here. Well yeah, just like any team would do. There’s the tag to Hernandez and we go old school with a double noggin knocker. He puts them both on the floor with a double dropkick and then hits a huge dive.

Devine is here again and he pulls out a table. Hector comes around and the power of Lazertron puts Devine down. Hector goes up top and jumps through Devine and the table which more or less was a dropkick while a guy was on the table. It was weird but the guy is retired. Back in the ring Hernandez takes a superplex and a top rope headbutt for two. 3D gets two on Homicide because D-Von let him up. Oh ok he wasn’t legal. Homicide hits something like a rana off the top (after being down for maybe 8 seconds off a 3D). D-Von goes up top and gets caught in a Border Toss and a frog splash for the pin and the titles.

Rating: C+. Fun brawl but the tournament took forever to get here. It wasn’t bad or anything but it’s the third time tonight we’ve seen these teams. You can only get so into them here which is the problem that these one night tournaments have. The final was probably the best match but not by all that much.

 

Here’s the rematch from Slammiversary 2008.

 

Tag Titles: Team 3D vs. LAX

3D are the heels. Knowing them though they’ll turn twice on the way to the ring though. D-Von vs. Hernandez to get us started. Ray has a chain to start but it gets taken away. I hope the referee at least said please. The fans want tables almost immediately. Good sign in the crowd: “D-Von! Get the table dancers!” The champs dominate to start but it’s off to Ray pretty quickly.

Ray tries to get technical with Homicide for some reason. The fans still want tables. Homicide is like cool man and grabs some armdrags to get control. Ray puts him on the top and pats his head so Homicide dropkicks him down. Hernandez clears the ring (no tag. Cheaters) and both of them dive through the ropes to take out the Dudleys. Homicide tries to go up again but D-Von shoves him down, sending his head into the railing.

Ray punches Hector Guerrero and knocks Salinas down. Ray holds up a title belt for some reason while D-Von works on Homicide in the ring. A back elbow puts Homicide down and the Dudleys act all innocent and nice. I miss heel teams doing things like that. Big side slam by Bubba gets no cover. Back to D-Von and the fans say 3-D sucks. I agree. It just makes some of the background clearer and the glasses make the movie darker.

The referee misses the hot tag and the half brothers beat Homicide even more. By trying to stop homicide, does that make them vigilantes/crime fighters? They go up top and Homicide bites the ear and hits a jawbreaker to take D-Von down. There’s the double tag and the fans do not care at all. Hernandez gets a back drop to Ray, prompting him to shout DIOS MIO!!! The delayed vertical hits D-Von for two.

Homicide comes back in with a top rope cross body for two. What’s Up is set up for Hernandez but Homicide makes the save. Salinas and Hernandez do What’s Up on Ray with Ray saying come on. Johnny Devine comes in and is taken out by Hector. Ok then. D-Von takes Homicide up top but Hernandez makes the save, resulting in a Gringo (Diamond) Cutter off of Hernandez’s shoulders for two. Everything breaks down again and Ray hits SuperMex low. They set for 3D but Homicide rolls up Ray while D-Von is waiting on Hernandez to turn around for the pin. I like that.

Rating: C. Not a great match or anything but the ending was good. The problem here I think is that we saw the same match the previous month at Sacrifice so it’s not like this is some great new idea here. Salinas’ looks are the best thing about it with the ending coming a close second. Not great but it was fine for what it was I suppose.

It was time for some new blood in the division, so here’s LAX defending against the new team of Beer Money at Hard Justice 2008.

 

Tag Titles: Beer Money vs. LAX

The same rapper from earlier sings LAX to the ring. Well this does result in Salinas shaking her hips so it’s not all bad. Beer Money beat up Homicide on Impact and hurt his eye. Roode vs. SuperMex gets us going officially but there’s enough double teaming that it’s hard to tell for sure. Storm gets beaten up too and takes a 30 second delayed vertical suplex. Hernandez is scary strong.

Storm heads to the floor and Hernandez hits a huge dive to take Beer Money out. Homicide comes in to beat on Roode in revenge for the eye injury. Storm spits beer at Homicide to blind him and take over. They work over the eye and the neck a bit with Storm pounding away at it. The bandage is off. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker by Roode gets two. The challengers hit a double suplex and shout their names.

An Orton elevated DDT gets two. Off to one of the least convincing chinlocks I’ve ever seen from Storm. It looks like he’s cuddling Homicide. Roode uses Three Amigos to some solid heel heat but really gets them mad by slapping his chest. A frog splash misses and both guys are down. Hernandez claps for Homicide and has some small hands. There’s the hot tag and it’s time for power moves.

Beer Money double teams him to get him down and the blockbuster gets two. SuperMex hits a double clothesline and tags Homicide in again which is probably not all that smart. He hits a frog splash of his own for two as Storm kicks out. The tagging aspect has been forgotten here. Roode hits his spinebuster and Storm hits a Backstabber to the back of Hernandez.

The champs are both down in the ring and Beer Money is on the floor. Hernandez uses Homicide as a missile and Border Tosses him on top of Beer Money. Salinas and Jackie fight on the floor and the distraction lets Roode break a beer bottle over Homicide’s eye for the easy pin by Storm for the titles.

Rating: B. Another good match from Beer Money as they know how to use a tag team formula as well as almost any modern team. LAX is a team I never got the universal appeal of but they were pretty good here. The eye injury was a good help to the story for the most part and we got a solid match out of it. Good stuff.

 

We’ll take a quick break from tagging and look at Feast or Fired at Final Resolution 2008.

 

Feast or Fired

Cute Kip, Sonjay Dutt, Jimmy Rave, Lance Rock, Alex Shelley, BG James, Jay Lethal, Chris Sabin, Curry Man, Consequences Creed, Hernandez, Homicide, Shark Boy

TNA rips off another WWE concept here with this one. There are four briefcases, one over each corner. In three are title shots, one for the world, one for the tag, one for the X and in the fourth there’s a thing that says YOU’RE FIRED. Original no? You have to get the case to the floor, not just off the hook to obtain it. Naturally we need 13 people in this right? Eight certainly wouldn’t have worked as you would have had four winners and four losers. Nah, we need 9 losers.

It’s a total mess of course where you can’t tell anything because even at the end there will be ten people in there. Everyone goes for cases but they can’t get there obviously due to the army stopping everyone. There’s no point in trying to keep track of what’s going on. Shark Boy goes for a sunset flip because he’s very stupid and pulls down Sonjay’s tights. Curry Man and Shark Boy both go up but the saves are made.

Dutt jumps up on Hernandez’s back in a cool spot but gets caught by Lethal, his big rival. Rave almost gets it but Hernandez grabs him down and throws a Border Toss onto a ton of people. Since the ring is empty otherwise he manages to get Case #4 (they’re individually numbered) and escapes with it.

The Outlaws tease a reunion/fight but decide against it. Shark Boy saves Kip from getting a case and hits a Stunner on Lethal. Rock hits a sweet release F5 on Shelley before going up in another failing attempt to get a case. Homicide and Curry Man fight on top of the ropes over a case and headbutt the heck out of each other. Curry Man, Christopher Daniels in a mask if you weren’t familiar with that, gets one and flips off the top onto a pile of guys to escape with #3.

Fameasser to Rave but Shelley kicks his head off and the Guns take over. Sonjay vs. Lethal for a bit is won by Lethal but he can’t quite get a case down as he’s caught in a Gringo Cutter from Homicide. Dutt can’t stop Homicide as he gets Case #1. So we’ve cleaned out a lot of the ring and gotten down to ten people. Far better now and that’s only half sarcasm.

The Guns take out Rock (Vance Archer) but Shelley is stopped by Rave. Tower of Doom spot by the Guns to Rave. Lethal almost gets the case but the Guns take care of him as well. This whole match is nothing but people climbing up and others saving them and about every five minutes someone gets a case down. Shelley gets the case down but holds it up, allowing Lethal to springboard across the ring and grab it to steal the case and get to the floor.

Rating: C+. Fun stuff but it’s the walking definition of a spotfest as there were WAY too many people in there. Cut this down to like 8 guys and the quality goes WAY up. This wasn’t bad but the formula got a bit old after awhile. The whole match is overkill but it’s fun overkill so I can’t complain that much here.

 

The team wouldn’t do much else together and would split by September. They would however reunite at One Night Only: Hardcore Justice 2 in 2013.

 

Disciples of the New Church vs. LAX

This is a street fight. The Disciples are a team from the early days of the company and are comprised of Sinn (Kizarny from about five years ago in WWE) and Slash (member of PG-13, a Memphis tag team). Sinn is in a tie and pink pants and Slash is in something resembling shoulder pads. Homicide starts with Slash (thankfully minus the pads) and the later howls a bit. A jumping back elbow gets two for Homicide as we’re still in the tagging portion of the match. Homicide gets two more off a tornado DDT out of the corner and it’s off to SuperMex.

Off to Slash who is immediately taken down by an over the shoulder backbreaker before being catapulted into a Homicide lariat for two. The Disciples take over on Homicide but Hernandez comes in to clean house as things break down. Hernandez puts on a hard hat for some reason as Homicide bulldogs Slash on the apron. Sinn gets beaten up with a stop sign before being sent back inside by Homicide.

All four guys are back in now and this is a pretty lame street fight. Slash misses a Swanton Bomb and gets choked by Homicide as we get back to the tagging. Homicide gets caught in a reverse FU from Slash but things break down again. Slash is sent to the floor and Homicide lays out Sinn with a Gringo Cutter, setting up a top rope splash from Hernandez for the pin.

Rating: D-. What in the world was this? The street fight portion of this lasted maybe two minutes and the rest was nothing more than a regular tag team match. The Disciples were a bad choice for this as almost no one remembers them and they were pretty terrible in the ring. LAX was a good team in their time but in a bubble like this they were just kind of there.

Overall LAX is a team that was much better when they had a story behind them. They were a team with a lot of talent and the ability to put on good matches with any set of opponents. Konnan was able to talk them very close to the top of the company, which is saying a lot for a team that started off as your generic foreign guys. They’re a good combination and worked very well out there together.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Clash of the Champions at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00J58H5CY

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

 

Tag Team Tournament
Date: January 3, 2014
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz

We’re back with another of these shindigs though I have less faith in this one than in last month’s World Cup of Wrestling. I really don’t think I can make this any clearer than the title has already done. It’s just a tag team tournament to decide the BEST TEAM EVER in TNA, even though America’s Most Wanted isn’t here, making the whole thing inaccurate from the get go. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about the basic idea and lists off the teams in the tournament. Here are the brackets:

Hot Shots/Aces and 8’s

Magnus/Samoa Joe

British Invasion

Austin Aries/Bobby Roode

Petey Williams/Sonjay Dutt/Generation Me

Team 3D

Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez

Bad Influence

Petey Williams/Sonjay Dutt vs. Generation Me and Hot Shots vs. Aces and 8’s are play in matches. Much like the X-Travaganza show missing AJ Styles, no James Storm on this show with any of his three tag title partners (to be fair he and Gunner hadn’t teamed up when this was taped) makes this feel incomplete.

We’ll be having highlight packages of all of the teams throughout the night. Up first are Petey Williams and Sonjay Dutt, who from what I can find have been a two man team three times ever: Tonight, the X-Travaganza One Night Only show and an Impact in 2008. There’s no narration or anything and it’s just highlights.

Generation Me’s video is set to the old WWF Hardy Boys theme song. I wasn’t a huge Hardys fan, but this team couldn’t hold the Hardys’ drugs/extra helping of fried lard, let alone lace their boots.

Tag Team Tournament Play-In: Petey Williams/Sonjay Dutt vs. Generation Me

I can never remember which is Jeremy and which is Max. Then again I could never remember which Hardy was which at first so maybe they’re more comparable than I thought. Dutt starts with a headlock on let’s say Jeremy and gets a Let’s Go Senshi chant. Jeremy comes back with a Sin Cara armdrag out of the corner and a double seated dropkick puts Dutt down again. Sonjay tags in Petey to speed things up with a dropkick to Max’s back. Everything breaks down and the non-brothers are both knocked to the floor. A headscissors from Jeremy sends Sonjay into a Max dropkick for two in a nice double team.

It’s Dutt in trouble now as the crowd is trying to get into this. The Bucks work on the arm for a bit before Max hooks a chinlock. Sonjay fights up and tags in Petey to clean house again with a slingshot Codebreaker and a running knee to take the Bucks down. A spin into a Russian legsweep gets two on Max but Jeremy breaks up the Canadian Destroyer attempt. Sonjay comes back in with a springboard double dropkick for two as the cameraman is taken down.

Jeremy gets caught in the corner for some fast tagging by Williams and Dutt. Petey gets caught in a bulldog out of the corner and it’s hot tag to Max. Dutt gets taken down by a CM Punk running knee/bulldog out of the corner as everything breaks down. Jeremy dives through the ropes to take Petey down on the floor as Sonjay gets two off the standing Sliced Bread.

Petey comes back in for another Russian legsweep on Max but Jeremy superkicks him down. More Bang For Your Buck (fireman’s carry slam by Jeremy into a 450 by Max into a moonsault from Jeremy) gets two on Sonjay as Petey makes the save and hits the Canadian Destroyer on Max, only to have Jeremy kick Williams in the face for the pin.

Rating: C. Take four guys, let them do high spots on each other for eight minutes, listen to the crowd cheer for them. The match was nothing great but there were some nice high spots to wake the crowd up. Petey was the best guy out there as Sonjay looked slow and the Bucks were their usual sloppy selves.

Highlight package on the Hot Shots, an old team of Chase Stevens and Cassidy Riley, who never went anywhere and are here so TNA can talk about the past. They’re another team that could have been left out of this to keep it at eight teams but we need to fill time since having matches go longer is just crazy.

Video on Garrett Bischoff/Wes Brisco turning on Angle to join Aces and 8’s.

Tag Team Tournament First Round: Hot Shots vs. Aces and 8’s

It’s Garrett and Brisco in case that wasn’t clear. The fans are behind the Hot Shots as Tazz turns into the Aces and 8’s cheerleader that annoyed the Impact audience for months. Stevens cranks on Wes’ arm to start before it’s off to Cassidy as Tenay tries to convince us to care about Wes because of his family tree. Off to Garrett who gets armdragged down as the announcers completely ignore the match to talk about Eric Bischoff.

Stevens gets two off a front suplex and a legdrop to Garrett before bringing Cassidy back in. Cassidy gets caught by the bikers and choked against the ropes as the announcers try to find something to talk about here. Garrett gets two off a suplex and it’s back to Brisco for a chinlock. Taz gets the Aces and 8’s confused by calling Bischoff Brisco by mistake.

Wes comes back in for a chinlock as Tenay rips on Taz for his mistake. Cassidy finally fights up with a clothesline to put both guys down as we’re now discussing a referee’s spelling abilities. Chase gets the hot tag and everything breaks down until Stevens is left alone. Brisco distracts him from the apron, allowing Bischoff to hit Stevens low for the pin.

Rating: D. This was another match that didn’t need to exist. The Hot Shots could have been any two guys thrown together and it wouldn’t have mattered at all. On top of that, the commentary was even worse than usual. Even they were making it clear that there was no need for this match to happen and that there was nothing to it. That’s a really bad sign and doesn’t make me want to watch the rest of the show.

We now have our first rounds set.

Aces and 8’s

Samoa Joe/Magnus

Austin Aries/Bobby Roode

British Invasion

Generation Me

Aces and 8’s

Chavo Guerrero Jr./Hernandez

Bad Influence

Highlights on the British Invasion, comprised of Douglas Williams and Rob Terry tonight.

The Brits say they’ll win.

Video on Austin Aries and Bobby Roode, who were a team for how long? Three months? To be fair though they were champions when this was taped.

Tag Team Tournament First Round: Bobby Roode/Austin Aries vs. British Invasion

Roode poses to start in an effort to make fun of Terry. Aries and Williams get us going and lock up about 90 seconds after the bell. Austin bails to the corner to keep the stalling intact before Williams shoves Aries into the corner. We’re about three minutes into the match when Aries takes him to the mat for the first time. Terry comes in to chase Aries and Roode to the floor where they mock his physique again.

Back in and it’s off to Roode as we’re still killing time. Roode does his posing again but backs away from a test of strength. Terry finally gets bored and beals Bobby across the ring before bringing Williams back in. The Brits start working on Bobby’s arm before Douglas drops a knee for two. Aries’ knee drop to break up the cover hits Roode by mistake but he manages to shove Williams off the top to take over. Taz names the Brits the Yiddish Invasion for no apparent reason.

Aries takes over with an armbar on Williams as the fans try to clap him back to his feet. Back to Bobby who wraps the arm around the post before choking on the ropes. We actually get some insight from Taz as he calls Roode and Aries a modern day Tully Blanchard and Arn Anderson. I wouldn’t go that far but it’s the closest thing to intelligence that we’ll get from him all night.

Williams finally blocks a charging Roode in the corner and takes him down with a middle rope European uppercut. Hot tag brings in Terry who shrugs off Aries’ forearms to the chest. Rob catches Aries in midair and kicks Roode down before dropping Austin on Roode for two. Terry tags Williams back in but gets taken down by a missile dropkick from Aries. Roode gets in a cheap shot to Williams and Crossfaces him for the win.

Rating: C. Match of the night so far and that’s not saying much at all. It’s still not a great match or even a very good one but it followed a formula and had clear cut heels and faces, putting it ahead of the first two matches. Aries and Roode worked well together, which is likely why they were split up so fast.

Video on Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez. Blast it I was hoping to avoid them on this show. Well any show actually.

We go straight from a boring team to one of the most entertaining I can remember in a long time: Bad Influence. Again, it shows the power of letting funny people be funny instead of writing lines to make unfunny people try to sound funny.

Bad Influence says Dixie’s trickle down of disrespect continues by making them be in a tournament instead of just naming them the best tag team ever. Daniels says this show should be called Foregone Conclusion because no one is better than they are. Tonight Chavo and Shawn are first but certainly not last.

Tag Team Tournament First Round: Bad Influence vs. Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez

Chavo and Daniels get things going by circling each other until Daniels hugs Kaz. There’s no contact a minute into the match. Now Chavo hugs the referee for no apparent reason before locking up with Daniels. Christopher demands and receives a clean break out of the corner. Hernandez bails to the floor instead of hugging Chavo so Daniels fires some shoulders into the corner. Chavo comes back with a series of backdrops but gets caught by the arm and dragged into the Bad Influence corner.

Kaz poses on the apron and thrusts the pelvis a bit before cranking on Chavo’s arm behind the referee’s back. Chavo can’t get over to Hernandez but reverses the armbar by Daniels and drags Daniels over to the Bad Influence corner where a not paying attention Kaz cranks on his partner’s arm by mistake. He sees Chavo and Hernandez on the floor and the wheels in his head slowly start to turn. This armbar is already more entertaining than most of the other matches tonight.

Chavo sneaks back in and uppercuts Daniels to take over before bringing in Hernandez for a bearhug into an overhead belly to belly suplex. Back to Chavo who allows a tag off to Kaz, who gets splashed by Hernandez for two. Chavo comes in again with a slingshot hilo and a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two each on Kaz but a Daniels distraction lets Kazarian take over. Daniels comes back in for a front facelock before Kaz gets two off a slingshot legdrop. We hit the chinlock for a bit until Kaz lets go and hits a gorgeous dropkick for two. The announcers talk about the Guerrero Family as Chavo head fakes Kaz into a double clothesline to put both guys down.

Hernandez comes in to clean house with the big shoulder blocks but Kaz saves Daniels from the Border Toss. A missile dropkick sends SuperMex into Chavo for a tag and it’s Three Amigos time for Daniels. Kaz breaks up the Frog Splash attempt but Chavo kicks him down as Hernandez powerbombs Daniels. The second attempt at the Splash gets rid of the most interesting team in the tournament.

Rating: C+. Again, I rarely had a problem with Chavo and Hernandez between the ropes. They could have decent matches with the right opponents and Bad Influence would fit that description. As long as I don’t have to hear Chavo talk about his heritage I’m fine. Bad Influence deserves better, but that’s always the case.

Video on Samoa Joe and Magnus who were thrown together in a wild card tag team tournament and won the belts in a surprise. That’s about all for their story.

Tag Team Tournament First Round: Samoa Joe/Magnus vs. Aces and 8’s

Bischoff starts with Joe and is immediately caught in a wristlock and armbar. Garrett gets to the ropes twice in a row as we’re still firmly in first gear. The Aces finally get Joe into their corner for some double teaming, only to have Wes get punched away with ease. Off to Magnus for some right hands and a clothesline before Joe comes back in with a backsplash.

The bikers double team Joe down again by taking out his knee, allowing Garrett to use his wide array of knee drops. Back to Brisco for a leg lock before Garrett comes in for some right hands. Joe casually stands up and stares at Bischoff but a kick to the leg puts him down again. A t-bone suplex puts Bischoff down again and it’s hot tag to the Brit to clean house. Magnus gets two on Bischoff off a suplex before the enziguri into the snapmare into the top rope elbow are enough to end Brisco.

Rating: D. The result was what you would expect from two world champions with chemistry against two unproven goons. This was just a step above a squash but at least the horrible team is gone. I’m glad they kept this short at least because I can only take so much Bischoff and Brisco at once.

Generation Me says they’ll beat Team 3D.

Speaking of Team 3D, here’s their highlight video.

Tag Team Tournament First Round: Team 3D vs. Generation Me

This is a match I didn’t think I’d ever see and I was glad about that. The former Dudleys go right after Generation Me to start and the beating is on fast. Dropkicks have little effect on the bikers and they easily slam the smaller guys down. We start with D-Von vs. Max as the domination continues. A powerslam gets two on Max as Tazz is loving this stuff. Off to Bully who shrugs off right hands and shoves Max into the 3D corner.

Ray snaps off headbutts to the chest and follows them with a hard chop as this has been one sided so far. Max finally gets over for a tag to Jeremy who walks into a great looking big boot to stop any momentum he had. We hit the neck crank for a bit before D-Von comes in to clothesline the freshly tagged Max inside out. There’s another chinlock as this squash goes on a bit longer. D-Von charges into a boot in the corner but clotheslines Max’s head into Tampa Bay. Ray: “MY BROTHER JUST CLOTHESLINED YOUR HEAD OFF!”.

Ray comes in with a backdrop and knocks Jeremy into the barricade. Tazz pines for ECW for a bit until D-Von misses a middle rope headbutt. A hot tag brings in Jeremy to clean house for a bit until a double superkick puts D-Von down. Ray breaks up a cover and punches Max’s head off. Team 3D collides in the middle of the ring and the Bucks (Generation Me’s indy name) hit stereo missile dropkicks. That’s their highlight though as Max walks into 3D for the pin.

Rating: D+. I’m an old Dudley Boys fan and I’ve never liked Generation Me so this was a fun match. It wasn’t interesting for the most part but I could watch Bully kick little guys’ heads off all day. There was no way you could have the Bucks put up a legitimate fight here so the squash was the right path to take.

Post match Ray threatens to slap So Cal Val around if she doesn’t bring him the mic like she should. “Now go do my dishes like a feeble woman.” Ray gets in an argument with an old lady at ringside and says some woman is so ugly that he wouldn’t even let D-Von sleep with her. Jeremy Borash is in the aisle but Ray stops him by threatening to sleep with him. The look of shock and horror on Borash’s face is beyond description. Ray lists off Team 3D’s accomplishments and promises to win. D-Von loads up the TESTIFY line but Ray wants to say it instead. “Nah it’s your line you say it.” These guys have pure chemistry.

Here are the updated brackets:

Samoa Joe/Magnus

Austin Aries/Bobby Roode

Team 3D

Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez

We recap how we got to the semi-finals to kill some time.

Joe and Magnus say never say never about their chances.

Tag Team Tournament Semi-Finals: Samoa Joe/Magnus vs. Austin Aries/Bobby Roode

This has a lot of potential. The heels are skeptical about getting into the ring until it’s Magnus vs. Roode. The fans chant for Beer Money and think that the Cowboy is better. Bobby grabs a wristlock to start but Magnus counters into a hammerlock. A shoulder block puts Roode down and it’s off to Joe for an atomic drop and backsplash. Magnus and Joe take out Aries as well as this is one sided so far.

Aries finally comes back with an elbow to the back of Joe’s head as Tazz reminisces about doing commentary with Mike Adamle. Magnus gets choked against the ropes and forearmed in the chest before it’s off to Roode. The announcers FINALLY talk about the match instead of explaining the Bolo Punch. Aries goes after the Brit’s knee with a chop block and a cannonball before it’s off to Roode for some stomping.

A top rope knee to Magnus’ knee gets two for Aries before the heels do some classic cheating with Roode giving extra leverage. Roode misses a middle rope knee drop and it’s hot tag to Joe. The Samoan cleans house and the good guys hit their finishing sequence on Aries, only to have Roode pull the referee out. Aries loads up a foreign object to blast Joe in the head for the pin.

Rating: C+. Match of the night so far but that’s not saying much at all. As is always the case with these shows, the match would have been way better with more time, but for some reason no matches on these shows can go longer than thirteen minutes. This was entertaining while it lasted but they had to rush to the finish instead of letting the match get there on its own.

Chavo and Hernandez say JB just found the best tag team in TNA history when he started talking to them. Team 3D will be Team 3-No Mas when they get done with them.

Tag Team Tournament Semi-Finals: Team 3D vs. Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez

Ray gets in an argument with a kid on his way to the ring. I miss old school heel work like that. Bully brings in a chair but Hebner takes it away from him. “IF I CAN’T USE MY CHAIR, HE CAN’T USE A CHIMICHANGA OR A BURRITO!” D-Von and Chavo circle each other to start until Chavo sends him to the floor for more stalling. It’s off to Bully who gets caught in a Guerrero headlock but Ray clotheslines his head off to take over.

D-Von comes back in but gets forearmed into the good guy corner for a tag off to Hernandez. A Stinger Splash in the corner gets two but D-Von jacks his jaw to take over. It’s back to Bully for some loud chops followed by D-Von with a front facelock. Hernandez easily drives him into the corner for the tag to Chavo as the match keeps meandering along.

Bully comes back in to send Hernandez into the corner and slap on a bearhug. SuperMex gets up top but Ray chops him down, setting up a D-Von superplex for two. Hernandez hits a quick shoulder for the not hot tag to Chavo for some house cleaning. Everything breaks down and Chavo has to roll through the Frog Splash, only to walk into the 3D for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was another match that never took off at all and felt like it rushed to the ending, though it wasn’t as bad as the previous match. At least we don’t have to listen to another promo from Chavo about the Guerrero Spirit or whatever else he wants to say that makes people think of Eddie.

We recap the semi-finals.

Aries and Roode drink coffee and water while talking about what a toll tournament take on their bodies. They may not have Team 3D’s experience, but they know each other as well as you can. Roode says they’re two of the best in the world today and that means they can beat any team.

Team 3D talks about beating two teams and having one win left. They run down the two teams they already beat and promise that Aries and Roode will take a 3D of their own.

Tag Team Tournament Finals: Team 3D vs. Austin Aries/Bobby Roode

This gets the big match intros as more time is killed. For some reason the lights have been turned off and there are only spotlights on the ring. Ray takes the mic from JB to make sure the intro is perfect, despite having a bit of a disagreement over how much they weigh. He challenges Aries to do a better intro if he can, leading to a weight dispute between the other team as well. Aries of course mentions beating Roode for the title before saying they don’t need a team name because they’re just that great.

The match starts with a brawl on the floor as the fans aren’t sure who to cheer for here. Who thought heel vs. heel was a good idea here? Aries takes over on Bully while D-Von and Roode stagger around ringside. D-Von is sent into the barricade as Aries hits an ax handle from the apron to Bully. Ray comes back with a low chop to take Austin down while D-Von chokes Aries against the post.

The pairings switch off and Aries takes over on D-Von. No one has actually been in the ring yet. Ray chases Hebner with a chain before bringing Aries inside for What’s Up, only to have Roode make the save. Aries gets in a low blow to Ray as we finally have some starters. Roode comes in to stomp on Ray’s ankle before Aries comes in for a top rope knee drop. A Hennig neck snap puts Ray into the wrong corner but he chops Aries from his knees.

Aries puts on a front facelock as the fans still aren’t sure who to cheer for here. They pick Ray at the moment, even though he’s the top heel in the company. Ray makes the tag to D-Von but a Roode distraction means it doesn’t count. Roode comes back in for a chinlock but Ray belly to backs his way out. Aries stomps away in the corner as the announcers talk about Howard Stern and Jesse Ventura running for President.

Ray fights up and collides with Roode, setting up the ice cold tag to D-Von. He cleans house for a few seconds before Aries and Roode double team him down. Aries loads up the foreign object but hits Roode by mistake, setting up the 3D for the pin. Tenay of course acts like this is the least interesting thing ever.

Rating: D+. The match wasn’t bad but the booking made next to no sense. Ray spent his previous two matches being the biggest jerk he could possibly be but we’re supposed to cheer for his team in the finals? The logical move would have been to put Joe and Magnus over by DQ or countout to protect the champions and give us a basic heel vs. face final, but instead they went with this and the crowd didn’t know what to do. The lighting was weird too.

A four and a half minute recap closes the show.

Overall Rating: D. This show wasn’t horrible but something even worse: boring. There’s just nothing to see here and the best match is decent at best. The lack of James Storm and the illogical booking of the main event didn’t help anything either. It felt like no one cared here and no one put in any effort, making this to be the least interesting of the entire series so far.

Results

Generation Me b. Sonjay Dutt/Petey Williams – Spinning kick to Williams’ head

Aces and 8’s b. Hot Shots – Low blow to Stevens

Austin Aries/Bobby Roode b. British Invasion – Crossface to Williams

Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez b. Bad Influence – Frog Splash to Daniels

Samoa Joe/Magnus b. Aces and 8’s – Top rope elbow to Brisco

Team 3D b. Generation Me – 3D to Max

Austin Aries/Bobby Roode b. Samoa Joe/Magnus – Aries hit Joe with a foreign object

Team 3D b. Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez – 3D to Guerrero

Team 3D b. Austin Aries/Bobby Roode – 3D to Aries

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of In Your House at Amazon for just $4 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for just $4 at:

Hard Justice 2006
Date: August 13, 2006
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 900
Commentators: Don West, Mike Tenay

This is at the other end of the spectrum for TNA as the next show in 2005 was Unbreakable and that’s the last TNA show I’m going to be doing. The show looks very different now and in a good way for the most part I think. The main event here is Jarrett vs. Sting for the title (shocking) and there’s also AJ/Daniels vs. LAX which is usually good. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about how good and evil are eternal rivals which is what they’re trying to push Jarrett vs. Sting as. They’ve feuded on and off over the years but eternal rivals? No. Just no. What this has to do with justice is beyond me.

Eric Young vs. Johnny Devine

Johnny is part of Paparazzi Productions. This is when Eric is all paranoid about getting fired so he’s trying to get all the fans he can behind him, meaning he’s got a parade of people after him chanting DON’T FIRE ERIC! Devine says Eric is going to choke under the pressure. Eric knocks him back and then gives him a hug as we get going. Devine punches him down and drops a few knees to the head.

We get a pretty sweet move as Devine is sent into the corner and tries to jump over Eric off the bottom rope but instead shifts in mid air into a reverse DDT. Then things get interesting as a legitimate fire breaks out in the rafters and the ring fills up with fire extinguisher spray. You can see the flames through the fog which is a little scary.

Devine suplexes him down and misses a springboard moonsault. The idiot fans chant “You can’t see us.” Eric gets a good powerbomb as the smoke is clearing out. Top rope elbow gets two. A sunset flip by Eric is countered but he gets Devine in a wheelbarrow position and flips him into a neckbreker for the pin.

Rating: C. All things considered, this wasn’t bad. Young had become a hit with the fans at this point as the paranoid guy that everyone loved, as opposed to now when he’s done the same schtick for over a year without ever really changing anything. The fire extinguisher stuff wasn’t their fault and to their credit they kept right at it which was impressive.

Earl Hebner runs out and chokes Mark Johnson for some reason. He’s mad about being fired and says that if he’s going down, Jarrett’s going down with him. Ok then.

We run down the rest of the card.

We see Jarrett arriving earlier with his second, Scott Steiner. Sting and Christian got here earlier today too.

We recap the four way tag match which is AMW, the James Gang, the Naturals and Bentley/Kazarian which I think is a #1 contenders match. I don’t think this needs much of a recap. All of them want the titles and have been fighting over who should get it.

First though we have to replace the mat because of all of the fire extinguisher stuff on it. What’s the right word for that anyway? Foam? Spray? Anyway Don and Mike talk about the fourway to fill in time.

Now we recap Sting’s career in TNA. He came back in January of 2006, had a tag match and said he was gone. Jarrett said he didn’t think Sting was gone so he sent the Pararazzi to film Sting at home, which ticked Sting off. He came back as Steve Borden to beat up Jarrett and then a month later as Sting. Steiner came in the next month to beat up Sting so Sting brought in Joe to beat up Jarrett but for some reason they switched his friend to Christian and sent Joe to the midcard again. Jarrett got the title back at Slammiversary and this would all set up tonight.

We come back to a sign saying technical difficulties, please stand by.

Here’s the same Sting video that just aired.

Tenay and Borash are in the back and we’re told that the fire marshall has evacuated the building and are testing everything before we continue the PPV. We look at the fire breaking out in the opening match. West comes in and says the people are being allowed back in now. To be clear, this isn’t something that can be held against TNA. It was an accident and who knows whose call it was that the building had to be cleared out. That could be building policy, local or state law or maybe even something else.

Tenay and West hype up the rest of the card to fill in more time. Eric Young comes up and wants to make sure that he’s not being blamed for the fire. Monty Brown says he’s going to blaze everyone in his triple threat match. This is about as good as they’re going to get for filling time which is ok. Also points to Brown and Tenay for doing this on the fly. It drags on too long and Brown runs out of insults. The fans are coming back in as Tenay helps Brown out by saying the winner could get a possible title match. Shane Douglas comes up to complain about life in general. His team is with him and he talks about them a bit at the end.

JB is with Alex Shelley who is replacing Kevin Nash in the X-Division match tonight. Nash has a bad neck apparently. Devine wheels in Nash in a wheelchair and a neckbrace. Nash tells Shelley to go to war and takes the brace off to give Shelley his dog tags. As little sense as this whole angle would wind up making, it was pretty funny.

Alex Shelley vs. Chris Sabin

The winner is #1 contender to the X Title. Feeling out process to start and it’s exactly what you would expect from the Guns in a singles match against each other. Shelley charges into a boot in the corner and Sabin hits a missile dropkick for two. Sabin loads up a Jackknife and does the Wolfpac sign before hitting the powerbomb. Shelley comes back with a bulldog and a Lionsault for two.

Sabin sends him to the floor and hits a suicide dive to take both guys down. Back in the ring and Sabin goes off with the kicks, followed by a springboard guillotine legdrop for two. Sabin loads up a tornado DDT but Shelley comes back with a middle rope atomic drop. Into a modified crossface but Sabin makes the rope.

Sabin gets Shelley into the Tree of Woe and hits the hesitation dropkick followed by a freaky spinning DDT for two. Sabin loads up something in the corner but Alex rolls off the corner and rolls forward into a Backstabber off the middle rope. Cool. Shellshock gets two and Nash puts a chair in the ring. Sliced Bread onto the chair is countered and Sabin kicks it into Shelley’s face. Cradle Shock gets the pin.

Rating: B-. As you would expect, these two put on an entertaining match. It’s easy to see why these two would be put together as a team because they compliment each other so well. The Nash stuff was part of a bigger story which I’m still not sure I get all of but it was entertaining which makes it ok.

Mitchell and Abyss aren’t worried about Brother Runt and say he’s doomed. Runt has been listening to Raven apparently and Raven has been telling Runt fairy tales.

We recap Runt vs. Abyss. The Dudleys had left for awhile to heal up and told Runt to stay out of trouble. Naturally he picked a fight with Abyss because that’s the kind of thing Runt does.

In case it wasn’t mentioned earlier, the four way tag match is canceled. The announcers haven’t said that yet but I don’t have time to wait on them.

Abyss vs. Brother Runt

Runt has a mohawk and looks like Travis Bickle from Taxi Driver, which Tenay and West keep calling Taxi. Runt is no Judd Hirsch. He starts fast with forearms and a headbutt to the ribs but Abyss kicks him down and throws him over the top and into about the third row. On the floor Runt comes back with a Dudley Dog onto the barricade. Raven is watching from somewhere. Runt throws in some chairs but Abyss wedges the first one between the ropes. Runt’s head goes into the chair for Abyss to take over.

Abyss splashes him in the corner as Raven is still watching, apparently from next to the stage. Abyss loads up a superplex but Runt gets in a shot with Abyss’ chain to knock him to the ring. Acid Drop (Dudley Dog, same thing) gets two. The referee goes down and Abyss gets his bag of tacks. Abyss rubs Runt’s face into the tacks and stomps on the back of Runt’s head, sending it into the tacks. Ok that’s not bad. Runt comes back but gets gorilla pressed onto the tacks. Black Hole Slam onto the tacks ends this.

Rating: D. Was there a point to this? I’ve never gotten the appeal of Runt challenging whatever monster there is but I suppose it was to set up Raven vs. Abyss later on. Abyss threw him around all match long and then beat him up with the tacks in some decent looking violence. Pretty boring match though.

Rhyno says he was looking for Joe and Brown during the confusion earlier. He’s here to destroy both of them no matter where he needs to go.

We recap Rhyno vs. Joe vs. Brown. Rhyno was offered a contract with the new ECW but he turned it down. He threw out an open contract for a fight at Hard Justice which was accepted by Joe and Brown. It’s falls count anywhere which is going to be stretched to mean hardcore.

Samoa Joe vs. Monty Brown vs. Rhyno

Big brawl to start and Brown is sent to the floor where Rhyno dives on him. Joe dives on both of them and stands tall. Brown brings in a trashcan but Joe takes it from him. In a cool sequence he hits Brown in the back with the can and with Brown bent over, Joe punts it into Brown’s face. Joe gets sent into the crowd and Rhyno follows him with a kendo stick. They go over to that wall that you always see in the Impact Zone but Brown dives onto both of them to take over.

Rhyno and Joe ram each other into the wall enough times to crack it and boards are falling off of it. Brown beats on Joe with said boards before Rhyno takes Brown up above the wall. Joe pops up with a crutch and then a chair to the back of both of them. He superkicks Brown back a bit and they stumble further into the crowd. Joe poses long enough for Rhyno to hit him in the head with a trashcan lid.

Brown comes in with one of his own but gets suplexed by Rhyno for his troubles. There’s a suplex for Joe but he blocks the Gore. A suplex gets two on Rhyno for Brown. Rhyno knocks Brown upside the head again and pulls some more weapons from under the ring. They go into the ring with Joe still down. As I say that, Joe comes back in and cleans house on Brown, hitting a backsplash for two.

Joe goes off on Rhyno but walks into a spinebuster onto a chair. They go to the corner with Rhyno looking for a superplex. Joe pulls him down with a sunset bomb onto the chair for two. Brown is back in now and takes Joe to the floor. He loads up a table but can’t suplex Joe off the ramp through the table. Instead he hits a swinging neckbreaker on Joe on the stage. Rhyno runs in with a trashcan lid shot to both of them. There’s a table set up off the stage but Rhyno misses a Gore off the stage and crashes through it. Brown goes down to pin him but walks into an STO off the ramp through the table by Joe for the pin.

Rating: A-. That’s probably high but DANG this was a wild brawl. They didn’t stop for over thirteen minutes and some of those weapon shots were HARD, especially the ones with the trashcan lid by Rhyno. Joe would keep running through everyone and wouldn’t lose until December to this Angle dude. He would beat Jarrett (non-title of course) next month. Brown would have one more match until he left for WWE.

Larry Z says Earl Hebner has been thrown out. He says he had nothing to do with the controversy at Slammiversary. Mark Johnson comes in and wants an explanation but Larry says it was Johnson’s fault.

We recap Gail vs. Sirelda. Sirelda is the lastest Chyna wannabe who beat up Gail on behalf of AJ and Daniels, so tonight it’s girl vs. whatever Sirelda is.

Sirelda vs. Gail Kim

Gail is looking great tonight. She jumps Sirelda to start but gets powered into a corner and slammed ala Ultimate Warrior. Sirelda loads up a chokeslam but Kim easily escapes. She guillotines Sirelda on the top rope and a knee drop gets two. The fourway tag is officially announced as canceled. There’s a Tarantula from Gail but her high cross body misses. A bad looking World’s Strongest Slam gets two and Sirelda loads up a superplex. Gail knocks her back and hits a bad Blockbuster for the pin.

Rating: D-. This was really bad but Gail looked smoking out there so I’ll give it some points for that. Sirelda wasn’t around long and given how awful she was in this match I’m not really surprised by that. Nothing to see here and I think this ended the mini feud between these two. If it didn’t then it should have.

Scott Steiner goes on a semi-famous rant, talking about how Christian is a surprise as Sting’s backup. That’s strange because Scott Steiner is from a highly educated university and has to dumb himself down for these fans.

We recap the X Title match which is Senshi defending against Williams who won a five way and Lethal who is in the match because he tried hard in a match against Jarrett.

Senshi vs. Jay Lethal vs. Petey Williams

Williams knocks Lethal to the floor and follows him out with a rana off the apron. Senshi dives out to the floor, takes out both guys and lands on his feet. It’s Lethal vs. Senshi at the moment. Williams comes back in and walks into a Liger Kick from Senshi. Lethal back up now but he misses a moonsault out of the corner. Senshi shoves Lethal into Williams and Williams kicks Lethal down.

Petey puts Lethal in the Tree of Woe and does the O Canada spot. Senshi kicks Williams down and loads up the Warrior’s Way but Lethal comes back in for the save. Lethal’s superplex is broken up and Senshi dives onto Williams. Lethal stays up there and dropkicks both guys down, drawing a Lethal chant from the crowd. Both guys are slammed by Jay and he hits stereo low dropkicks to the face.

Lethal’s slide through Senshi’s legs for a sunset flip attempt is broken up by a kick and they all try to roll each other up. Jay gutwrench suplexes Senshi down but gets caught in a Sharpshooter by Williams. Senshi breaks that up with a kick to Petey for two but gets caught in a release German for two from Lethal. Swan Dive to Petey misses and there’s the Canadian Destroyer to Lethal. Senshi kicks Williams down and pins Lethal to retain.

Rating: B-. Another good three way here as they had some great counters in there at the end. Senshi was a guy that I’ve always found uninteresting and Williams only had one move and Lethal was pretty dull without the Savage stuff, but they combined for a decent match here. I think Sabin would take the title off Senshi.

Konnan says LAX’s revolution continues tonight. Daniels and Styles are handpicked champions and LAX won’t stand for that.

We recap LAX vs. Styles/Daniels. It’s pretty much exactly what I just explained: LAX is leading the Latin revolution against TNA and they’re starting by taking the tag titles.

Tag Titles: LAX vs. Christopher Daniels/AJ Styles

Daniels and Hernandez start things off and it’s power vs. striking. Daniels escapes a suplex and hits a headscissors followed by a leg lariat to send Hernandez to the floor. Off to Styles vs. Homicide and Tenay is WAY too excited about it. They trade armdrags and slug it out with rights to the head. Homicide snaps off a rana but AJ nips up into one of his own to send Homicide out to the floor.

Hernandez tries to come in but the champs double team him out to the floor. It’s back to Styles vs. Homicide now but a Hernandez distraction allows Homicide to hit a neckbreaker for two. SuperMex comes in legally now and hooks onto AJ’s head with a neck crank. Back to Homicide for a chinlock of his own. AJ tries to set for a springboard but Hernandez breaks that up. Homicide hits a tope con hilo through the ropes to take AJ out again.

Daniels tries to come in but it just allows Konnan to get in more offense. Hernandez gets the tag and chokes a bit before it’s back to Homicide. AJ comes back with a front suplex to drape Homicide over the top rope which is good for the tag. Daniels cleans house on both challengers, hitting a combination bulldog/enziguri. Split legged moonsault gets two. Homicide goes to the floor but Daniels drops down on him as well. Hernandez dives over the top to take them both out but AJ hits a HUGE off the top rope shooting star to take everyone out.

Everyone is down until AJ gets up and throws Homicide back in. A faceplant gets two because AJ gets up to take out Hernandez. Daniels is back up and a double team cross body gets two on Homicide. LAX hits a kind of Steiner Bulldog for two on Daniels. Homicide sets for a tornado DDT but AJ blocks it until Hernandez comes over for the Tower of Doom. AJ gets up and hits the moonsault into the DDT for two on SuperMex. Everyone is down and AJ hits the Pele on Hernandez. Release Rock Bottom puts Daniels down but Konnan crotches Styles. LAX sets for double finishers but the champions escape and hit High Low to retain on Homicide.

Rating: B. These two teams had some excellent chemistry together and their future matches would get even better. This won feud of the year in TNA I think and I certainly can understand why. Daniels is always tolerable when he’s not facing AJ so this was a much more enjoyable performance from him.

Christian says he thinks Jarrett started the fire to get out of his match. He’s not going anywhere and tonight, Jarrett loses the title. As for Steiner, he can come after Christian anytime. Sting gets the title tonight to cut the cancer out of TNA.

We get a shortened version of the Sting vs. Jarrett video from earlier.

NWA World Title: Sting vs. Jeff Jarrett

Christian and Steiner are the respective seconds. We almost get in a fight with the big match intros but after them we’re ready to go. The fans chant steroids at Steiner. Feeling out process to start but Sting quickly goes for the Scorpion twice in less than a minute. Out to the floor and Jeff is thrown over the announce table. Sting hits him with a fan. As in a cooling machine, not a person.

They’re in the crowd now as is the custom for a Sting main event match. All Sting so far. Sting throws Jarrett back into the ring after an extended crowd beating but as the the referee (one of three) is with Christian, Steiner hits Sting in the knee with a chair and suplexes Christian. Jeff goes right for the knee and Sting is in trouble. There’s the Figure Four and of course it’s on the wrong leg.

Jarrett makes the eternal mistake of slapping Sting which lets Sting turn the hold over and eventually make a rope. They slug it out and Sting isn’t selling the knee. Stinger Splash misses but the Stroke is countered into the Death Drop for two as Steiner pulls the referee out. Christian goes after Roidzilla with a chair but gets ejected for trying to use it. A regular splash from Sting gets knees to put him down.

Steiner throws in the belt and distracts the referee but Christian trips him up and throws the belt to Sting. Jarrett is clocked but Steiner’s distraction lets Jarrett recover and put his foot on the ropes. They collide and Steiner hits Sting with a chair, knocking his head into Jarrett’s crotch. Christian and Steiner get in the ring for a fight but Steiner is thrown out. Wasn’t Christian ejected? Either way he hits Jarrett with the chair and is ejected again as a result.

Steiner is in the ring behind the referee but doesn’t actually do anything. Now he gets ejected as well so it’s FINALLY even. Sting and Jarrett are both getting up but Sting misses a dropkick. Jarrett hooks the Scorpion on Sting but Sting Hulks Up and powers out of it. Scorpion to Jarrett but Jeff makes the rope. Stinger Splash hits the referee and Jarrett hits the Stroke, but there’s no one to count. Cue Steiner again with a guitar but Christian comes in with the bat. He cleans house with it but turns on Sting as he comes off the top, hitting him with the guitar. Jarrett gets the easy pin to end the show.

Rating: C. WAY overbooked here as almost all Jarrett vs. Sting matches wind up being. How hard can it possibly be to have Jarrett vs. Sting? I mean….IT’S JEFF JARRETT VS. STING. Do you think they can have a good match on their own? This might as well have been a tag match and it didn’t set up Christian vs. Sting for some reason. Instead we got Joe vs. Jarrett next month and Sting vs. Jarrett again at BFG.

Overall Rating: B-. This show was a bit of a mess, but it was a fun mess. The fire messed up a lot of stuff but it happened early enough in the show that it didn’t change much (other than the promos which mentioned it all night). There were some good matches here and the main event, while overbooked beyond all need, was entertaining enough and let Christian do his obvious turn. Pretty good show but it had some holes in it.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 2001 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $4 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling book as low as $4 at:

I read this interview today and thought it came off as very classy and professional sounding.  It’s from a guy I don’t care much for, but it was very pleasant to read and it makes me happy to know there are classy guys in wrestling.  It’s from recently released TNA wrestler Joey Ryan and I saw it on 411mania.com.Joey Ryan recently spoke with ITRLive about his TNA run and more. Check out the highlights:

In gettung into TNA: “Through David Lagana. I worked with David Lagana in a few places actually Ring of Honor, NWA Hollywood and then he booked me for Ring Ka King in India. Then he got hired to be a writer in TNA and they were looking for guys. He suggested me to Al Snow and Al Snow saw footage of me and decided to make me a GutCheck contestant. It kind of happened quickly. They called me up and Al Snow asked if I would be interested and I said yes. He said, “Alright, I’ll see you next week”. There wasn’t anything I had to sit on really.”

On TNA GutCheck: “They literally don’t tell you anything. I was the second ever guy to do GutCheck. The first GutCheck was Alex Silva. There was that whole thing where Ric Flair changed his decision on Alex Silva. You see, I don’t know how much of that is really a shoot or not. I think they brought me in particularly to be a “No” because they just needed somebody from the indys to make this seem more legitimate and told “no”. I think that was a work on their part. I think when I wrestled and I had a good match against Austin Aries, thank God I had to wrestle Austin Aries, then I came in and did my promos and stuff like that, even before I was in front of the judges, they weren’t telling me I was going to get a “No”, but I had a few people telling me things. Like Eric Bischoff and Hulk Hogan came up to me and said, “Hey, we like your look, we think you are good. No matter what happens out there, we want to do something with you hopefully down the line”. They were hinting that I was going to get a “No” vote. I was already going in there portraying a heel character so I knew going into this that I wasn’t just going to go out there, be told “No” and walk away with my tail between my legs. I’m going to be adamant about it. I was going to be myself, a guy who has been told “No” for the last 12 years by major companies. After I did that promo, there was talk of me going around. They were saying to themselves, “How can we use this guy?” Before that, there was nothing planned for me.

On the mood backstage following the GutCheck segment: “Well I don’t know if they do this anymore but there were cameras all over the place. Everyone was still filming me. I had an argument with Al Snow in the back. Was it a worked shoot? I don’t know. He was yelling at me, I thought it was pretty intense. I knew cameras were on too so I wasn’t sure. Once the cameras cut, Eric Bischoff approached me and told me, “That was incredible! That’s what the segment should be! That’s what live TV is all about!” He has a producer’s mind. He was the one who came up to me and was the most vocal about it all.”

On Taz backstage following the GutCheck: “Taz is kind of a hard-ass. I think he knew but I don’t think he liked me right off the bat because of that. He’s a prideful person, he is very proud of his wrestling and I was bad-mouthing his wrestling. I think he got to the point where he realized that I was doing anything I could to get a job.”

On signing with TNA: “I actually got a call from Bruce Prichard the next day saying, “We got a contract for you”. I signed it and faxed it back to them. At that point, I don’t really know if they knew where the storyline was going to go at that point. They just wanted to capitalize on any hype that happened.”

On teaming With Matt Morgan: “Don’t know, it was a little hard to pull off because Matt is this unstoppable monster. I’m just this small guy. Matt would just look stupid if I just keep costing him all of these wins. I don’t think it went the way they planned it. I don’t know if this didn’t go the way they planned or if they just didn’t think about how long they could keep this up. It just gets to the point where you think, how long is Matt going to stick with this guy that isn’t winning. We were tagging against Chavo and Hernandez. I think they used me as a fall guy to keep Matt Morgan protected.”

On the negative rumors about TNA contracts: “I had a great contract. I got a monthly salary and a bonus whenever I did wrestle. So yeah, I had a great contract. They said, “Hey, I want to pay you” and I said, “Great, I like getting paid”.”

On his release from TNA: “I knew there had been some office cuts and to be honest, I knew after the Matt Morgan stuff as they used me so sparingly. I think I did a PPV match that was unannounced. I did the referee stuff with the Knockouts. Then I did the random X-division 3-way match so. When I wasn’t being used, I was at home collecting paychecks, so I kind of knew that this was too good to be true. They are paying me to sit at home for months now. Part of me said, I know Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff like me so there’s some pull there so maybe they are waiting to come up with something for me. I got the hint myself when I was just sitting at home getting paid.”

On being notified of his release: “Al Snow called me and said “This isn’t anything against you or your work, this is just budget cuts”. I know they are on the road now and that’s much more expensive. I think they are just trying to make the company as profitable as possible. It was a decision they had to make. They had to cut guys without affecting the current storylines. I’m not bitter about it. I understand why. I don’t have anything bad to say about anyone there. It’s just a business thing.”

 

Again, very classy, logical, and not bitter in the slightest.  That’s so refreshing to hear after all the people you see whining and moaning about politics and it wasn’t their fault and all that other jazz.  I’m impressed, which doesn’t happen often.

Due to an abdominal injury, according to his Twitter.

You know, it’s almost like TNA knew this was a possibility and booked him into a tag title match anyway.  Now some people would call that short sighted and stupid.  I’m sure the response to that would be “give TNA more time” or “WWE does stupid stuff too!”

 

To be fair though it’s not like TNA is doing anything of note with Storm anyway.

Impact Wrestling
Date: April 11, 2013
Location: American Bank Center, Corpus Christi, Texas
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Todd Keneley, Tazz

We’re live again tonight and in the new location of Corpus Christi, Texas. This is the big live show that is more or less the PPV special of the month, featuring the Full Metal Mayhem (TLC) match between Hardy and Ray for the title, AJ vs. Storm and a few other major matches. This show was hyped up very well over the last few weeks and it should be awesome. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of AJ’s dilemma of which side he should pick in the war between TNA and Aces and 8’s. We also look at the other matches tonight, including Gail Kim vs. Taryn Terrell and Aries/Roode vs. Guerrero/Hernandez for the tag titles.

Hogan greets hardy.

We get an intro sequence which looks like opening credits.

Tag Titles: Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez vs. Bobby Roode/Austin Aries

Roode and Aries are defending and if they win, Chavo and Hernandez can never team again. This is also 2/3 falls. The challengers have a boxing legend whose name I couldn’t catch here with them, carrying a Texas flag. The champions jump the challengers as they get the boxer a seat and the brawl is on fast. Roode sends Aries into the corner to dropkick Chavo, who stumbles into a a Roode spinebuster for the first fall at 35 seconds.

Aries immediately tries a Frog Splash on Chavo but only hits mat, letting Chavo hit a quick rollup to tie things up at 1:38. Aries pounds away on Chavo but it’s Roode hitting a big slam for two. A slingshot hilo by Aries keeps Chavo in trouble and a Ted DiBiase fist drop gets two. Back to Roode who escapes a tornado DDT but gets caught by a Chavo dropkick. Hernandez is nowhere to be seen though as he was sent into the steps in the pre-match attack.

Actually scratch that as he’s back up and gets the tag to clean house. A gorilla press puts Aries down and there’s the big running charge down the ramp to jump back into the ring for a double clothesline to take the champions down. We take a break and come back with Aries diving off the top onto Hernandez for two. We get a long shot of the Spanish announcers as Roode hooks a quick chinlock followed by a necksnap, setting up a middle rope elbow to the back of Hernandez’s neck by Aries.

Hernandez finally comes back with a double clothesline to put the champions down and there’s the hot tag to Chavo. He comes in with a slingshot hilo to Roode and a headscissors sends Bobby to the outside. Chavo hits a big dive onto Aries and Roode for a near fall back inside. There are two Amigos to Aries and three of them for Roode. Aries breaks up the Frog Splash and Roode gets a rollup for two. Off to the Crossface on Chavo but Hernandez breaks it up. Hernandez tries another dive but takes out Chavo by mistake.

Roode only gets two from the mistake but there’s a HARD dropkick in the corner from Aries. The spinebuster is countered into a DDT but Austin makes another save at two. Aries loads up a superplex but Hernandez pulls him off into Border Toss position. The champions have a double suplex countered and Chavo hits the Frog Splash onto Roode for the pin and the titles at 15:13.

Rating: B. As is the case with every match the new champions have, it was entertaining but it does nothing for me because they’re so ridiculously uninteresting. I was hoping for the titles to stay on Roode/Aries here, but we have to appease the Texas crowd right, because Texas is AWESOME.

Brooke Hogan shrugs off some sexual harassment from Joey Ryan and tells him he has a match tonight.

Aces and 8’s arrive and they’re actually on motorcycles for once.

Here’s Joseph Park to discuss some business. He has issues with Aces and 8’s and Bully Ray in particular. What Aces and 8’s have been doing to TNA is nothing short of felonious and just mean, so it’s time for justice to be served by Jeff Hardy tonight. Once Hardy wins the title though, it’s not over. Park is a divorce lawyer and he has drawn up a writ of annulment for Brooke and Bully which will be filed soon.

Cue D-Von who takes the paper and rips it up. If Park has a problem with Ray, he has a problem with D-Von, so stay out of family business. D-Von goes to leave but sneaks up on Park and lays him out with a chain shot to the ribs.

We get a video package on Terrell vs. Kim.

Taryn Terrell vs. Gail Kim

ODB is guest referee. Taryn starts fast with a suplex for two and a monkey flip puts Gail down. Kim pulls her off the middle rope and stomps away before dropping Taryn with a forearm. Gail chokes awayo n the ropes but stops to get in ODB’s face. A rollup gets two for Gail but she gets caught holding the tights. During the argument between Gail and ODB, Taryn gets a rollup of her own for the pin at 2:30.

The Gut Check judges talk about the match last week.

Magno gets the shot in the ring.

We look at AJ’s issues and him walking out on TNA.

Hogan says he’s nervous about getting the world title back but first up, it’s AJ’s time on the clock.

AJ has nothing to say to a TNA cameraman. Anderson brings him another vest.

Video on Hardy vs. Ray tonight.

Here’s Hogan to call out AJ Styles for his decision. AJ comes out and Hulk gives him an ultimatum. Styles isn’t pleased and says he doesn’t react well to demands, but here’s Storm to interrupt. James says he isn’t here to deliver ultimatums or even to drink beer. Instead it’s for a fight and they lock eyes, but here’s Bad Influence. Kaz says they’re here to mend fences and not throw fists. They see through everything going on here because they’re both sexual and intellectual.

Thunderlips (Hogan) is trying to get AJ to join TNA, which is a good idea because Aces and 8’s are destroying his company. Aces and 8’s are smart to try to recruit TNA’s best soldier of the last eleven years. Daniels says it’s a bad idea for AJ to join either, because they’ll just chew AJ up and spit him out. Therefore, AJ should join up with Bad Influence.

Daniels brings up Hogan and Dixie turning their backs on AJ and brags about all the world titles “they” won together. AJ gets annoyed and shakes a bit, but Storm gets in his face. Styles leaves the ring and looks at Bad Influence before walking away. Hogan begs again and makes Styles vs. Storm next week.

Joey Ryan vs. Rob Terry

Joey is scared to death and is immediately run over with chops and shoulder blocks. Two boots in the corner from Joey are easily blocked and it’s a powerslam to plant him down. A fireman’s carry into a spinebuster ends Ryan at 2:30. Total squash.

Brooke tells Hulk she has to be at ringside for the main event. Matt Morgan pops up and says that it’s another Hogan mistake, like not making him #1 conteder at Lockdown. Morgan says that those mistakes will keep happening and then they’ll all come crashing down on him.

It’s time for Gut Check. Danny Davis isn’t sure but eventually says no. Magno cuts a promo that is barely understandable as English isn’t his first language. Pritchard says Magno isn’t ready yet so it’s no, which ends this.

Bully Ray makes Aces and 8’s promise not to interfere tonight.

TNA World Title: Bully Ray vs. Jeff Hardy

This is Full Metal Mayhem which is TNA’s version of TLC, as in you have to climb a ladder and pull the belt down. Brooke Hogan is at ringside as well. Ray yells at his wife before the bell and Brooke looks irritated. Hardy hits a Twisting Stunner and Poetry in Motion to start and Ray is in early trouble. The challenger brings in a chair and cracks Ray over the back with it before bringing in the first ladder of the match. Jeff makes an early try for the belt but Ray tips the ladder over.

A mule kick staggers Ray but Bully backdrops Jeff onto the ramp to take over. Ray whips him in the back with the chain but Hardy still pops up to slug it out on top of the ladder. Hardy gets suplexed down off the ladder as we take a break. Back with Hardy getting off a table and blasting Ray on the ropes with a chair. Hardy turns a ladder upside down but can’t superplex Ray onto it due to high levels of fat.

Instead Ray comes back with a front suplex to crush Hardy’s ribs against the steel. Some chair shots to the legs keep Hardy in trouble and Ray brings in another ladder. The table is still set up in the ring. Ray shouts about beating up Hardy and then keeping the title then slapping Brooke around, but the distraction lets Jeff get in some shots of his own. Ray takes Hardy back down but goes to the floor to yell at Brooke for a LONG time. Brooke finally slaps him and here comes Hardy.

Jeff slams Ray into the steps and puts him on a table….which immediately breaks. Hardy goes all the way to the entrance of the arena to get a table but a Twist of Fate keeps Ray down. Jeff puts Ray on the table for a BIG Swanton to the floor and both guys are down. Hardy goes up the ladder in the ring but Taz hands Ray a hammer. Ray goes up the ladder but hits Hardy with his fist instead of the hammer. Jeff gets his hand on the belt but a hammer to the head knocks him off and through the table. Ray retains the title at 17:10.

Rating: B. Solid match here and that Swanton was great. It wasn’t as great as most of the TLC matches but at the same time, we’ve seen these guys do this so often over the years that it’s kind of hard to get new stuff out there over and over again. That being said, it was entertaining which is exactly what it needed to be.

Aces and 8’s come in to celebrate to end the show.

Overall Rating: A-. This did indeed feel like a PPV quality show. It does drag in the middle and we didn’t get anything with AJ other than Bad Influence being interested in him, but other than that we got everything we were supposed to get. The main event delivered and it was still a hard hitting back and forth match with some close calls by Hardy. Good, solid show overall as TNA continues to do very well with the new style.

Results

Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez b. Bobby Roode/Austin Aries – Frog Splash to Roode

Taryn Terrell b. Gail Kim – Rollup

Rob Terry b. Joey Ryan – Fireman’s carry into a spinebuster

Bully Ray b. Jeff Hardy – Ray pulled down the title belt

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $5 at:

 

Impact Wrestling
Date: February 7, 2013
Location: Manchester Arena, Manchester, England
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz, Todd Keneley

We’re still in England for the second of four shows. The main story at the moment is that Garret Bischoff and Wes Brisco FINALLY joined Aces and 8’s, shocking a total of no one. Other than that we’re on the Road to Lockdown which is four weeks from Sunday. That being said, we need a #1 contender. Oh and we’ve got Ray/Sting vs. Aces and 8’s in a tables match tonight. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the Hogans/Ray and Aces and 8’s.

Here are the bikers to open the show. Most of them are sans masks now and I can’t say I’m any more impressed. Could it be because they NEVER WIN ANYTHING??? We get a video on Aces and 8’s beating up Angle over the last few weeks. Apparently Wes and Garrett have been on the team for awhile now. Yeah I’m stunned too. Garrett says this is his new family and Brisco complains about being introduced in a Gut Check match. D-Von isn’t worried about the tables match because Aces and 8’s have an ace up their sleeve.

Tara and Jesse annoy Brooke so it’s Tara vs. Tessmacher tonight.

X-Division Title: Kenny King vs. Zema Ion vs. Rob Van Dam

Hey look: a triple threat! RVD is defending and gets double teamed to start. Since Zema Ion sucks though, King turns on him and sends both he and Van Dam to the floor. A corkscrew dive by King takes both guys down and one from Ion….mostly misses both guys. Back in and a missile dropkick takes King down but Van Dam comes back in almost immediately. King sends Ion to the floor again but RVD takes him down.

Ion breaks up Rolling Thunder and hits a middle rope tornado DDT for two. King and Ion go at it a bit with Ion hitting a flipping facebuster for two. Ion takes King down again for two more as the champion is on the floor. This is basically a one on one match with Van Dam popping in every now and then. King hits a pair of running knees to the ribs of Ion followed by a northern lights suplex, but RVD comes in with the Five Star to take out King and follows with the pin on Ion at 5:54.

Rating: C. The match was ok but what difference does this make at all? There’s almost no story to it and the division is lucky to get a segment every two weeks. You pretty much saw the entire division out there in one match here, and that’s a really bad sign. Bring some fresh blood into this thing or drop it already, because this is nothing worth seeing at all.

We get a package on TNA British Boot Camp, which is their version of Gut Check. A 5’3 guy named Rockstar Spud wins.

We look at the opening promo from Wes and Garrett earlier. It’s still not impressive.

Bruce Prichard talks to D’Lo about Brisco sneaking on via Gut Check. I’m still thinking this isn’t going to live up to whatever it’s supposed to be.

Jesse comes out to run his mouth bout James Storm interrupts. Blah blah blah, I’m going to kick you in the face then drink, ring the bell.

James Storm vs. Jesse Godderz

Jesse takes over to start but Storm comes back with punches and a knee to the ribs followed by the Eye of the Storm. An enziguri from the corner sets up a running neckbreaker for no cover. Last Call ends this at 3:04.

Rating: D. Seriously, is there NO ONE ELSE that Storm can feud with? The guy is over like free beer in a frat house and he’s stuck beating up Jesse Godderz. I know the match with Roode at BFG wasn’t that big but it’s a bigger deal than what Storm is getting now. Nothing match here as Godderz continues to be decent, but Storm is WAY out of his league.

Tag Titles: Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez vs. Austin Aries/Bobby Roode

The Texans are defending and dear goodness please let the titles change tonight. Chavo and Roode start things off with the champion taking over with some headscissors to start. Aries comes in but runs into Hernandez who scares him away. SuperMex puts Aries on the top rope so Austin cartwheels away. Roode tells a posing Aries to turn around and there’s the delayed vertical, but Roode makes the save.

A double suplex with Chavo helping out puts the challengers down and there’s a slingshot hilo onto Aries. Roode pulls Chavo to the floor but the suicide dive misses, sending Bobby into the barricade. We take a break and come back with Roode breaking up a cover by Hernandez. Chavo chops away on Aries in the corner and it’s back to Hernandez. A running splash gets two for Hernandez and here’s Guerrero ago.

Roode finally cheats a bit and hits Chavo in the back so Aries can hit a discus forearm to take down Chavo and give the heels control. Tazz, now part of a team, goes on a rant about how much being in a tag team sucks before talking about how much he loves Aces and 8’s. Off to Roode again for a chinlock as Tazz talks about sitting on a boil. Ok then. A top rope double ax hits Chavo on the floor and gets two for Austin back inside.

We hit a LONG chinlock by Roode before Aries comes in with some cheating. Chavo fights up and it’s a double clothesline to put both guys down. There’s the hot tag to Hernandez who cleans house, only to have Roode pull his own partner into the slingshout shoulder from Hernandez. SuperMex destroys Roode but Aries escapes Three Amigos. The heels are rammed together and Roode walks out, only to return as Aries hits Hernandez low. The spinebuster to Chavo sets up the 450 from Aries for the pin and the titles at 17:29.

Rating: B. I don’t like the challengers but this was a very solid tag match. If nothing else these two will actually be interesting instead of just sitting around doing nothing at all. This had a long heel in peril segment which you hardly ever see anymore. Good match here and nice to see a LONG TV match that means something.

Hulk and Ray have a chat about Ray being a good guy. He says he isn’t and he’ll prove it against Aces and 8’s.

Video on AJ’s career falling apart.

Tara vs. Miss Tessmacher

Jesse is barred from ringside and this is non-title. Tara keeps looking back for Jesse and screaming his name. A few headlocks put Tessmacher down but she comes back with the stupid Stink Face. Tara tries to bail but comes back in for the spinning side slam for two. The Widow’s Peak doesn’t work so it’s off to a full nelson instead. Tara hooks a chinlock for a bit before Tessmacher comes back and hits a Tess Shock out of nowhere for the pin at 5:26.

Rating: D+. I don’t like them, this match has been done to death, the girls still look good, and the division is still dying before our very eyes. What is the point of these random matches? To set up Tessmacher vs. Tara for the title again? You know, such a FRESH match as that, which we NEVER see anymore?

Here’s Rockstar Spud to debut before the crowd. He gives a standard “I made it and this is my dream” promo before the Rob’s come out to interrupt. Robbie E sends Big Rob to take him out but Big Rob steps aside to let Spud hit Robbie in the face, furthering the face turn. Big Rob does the fist pump.

Sting and Brooke do nothing of note.

We recap the bikers taking out Hardy’s knee.

Sting/Bully Ray vs. D-Von/Doc

Tables match here and the TNA guys have face paint on ala Sting. The bikers are in trouble to start as Tazz goes on a rant about how the other bikers need to come out here for the save. This is still a big brawl for the most part with nothing from Aces and 8’s about two minutes in. Ray hits a Stinger Splash on D-Von in the corner and shakes the rails on the floor. Sting hits one as well and we take a break.

Back with Doc getting kicked down by Ray but the Bully misses an elbow. A big boot puts Ray on the floor and the guys pair off. Since it’s an Aces and 8’s match though, they get beaten down again and here are the tables. The bikers come back and try a double suplex through the table but Ray makes the save again.

Ray fights both of them off but gets sent to the floor for his efforts. Sting is loaded onto the table again but Ray pulls his brother to the floor. Sting crotches Doc on the top and it’s a superplex…not through the table as Knox moves the wood. Sting fights them both off (duh) and Ray hulks up before sending D-Von through a table for the win at 14:07.

Rating: C-. It’s a tag team tables match so what am I supposed to say here? These matches are almost always the same and it was clear that the bikers weren’t going to win because that’s just not what they do. This is clearly setting up Lockdown where hopefully this team is done for good.

The Hogans come out to celebrate of course, despite having nothing to do with this whatsoever.

Overall Rating: C+. This was decent but at the end of the day, Aces and 8’s bring nothing to the table (pun intended) whatsoever. They’re just not interesting and there’s nothing at all to them to make us believe they’re intimidating. They lose over and over again and they lose in the main event here. Other than that though the show was pretty solid stuff, even though it didn’t set up anything for Lockdown.

Results

Rob Van Dam b. Zema Ion and Kenny King – Van Dam pinned Ion after a northern lights suplex from King

James Storm b. Jesse Godderz – Last Call

Austin Aries/Bobby Roode b. Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez – 450 Splash to Guerrero

Miss Tessmacher b. Tara – Tess Shocker

Sting/Bully Ray b. D-Von/Doc – Ray chokeslammed D-Von through a table

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and check out my ebook on Amazon at http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00B9K3POI

After the big push last year, we’re back down to HELL NO vs. the Scholars again and the same formula that has been used for years now.  At the end of the day, the division isn’t going to last long term and there’s really no way around that.  The TNA tag division is dead again now too with just the champions and apparently a thrown together team of two main eventers.