Doink the Clown vs. Bob East

Doink takes East down very quickly and nails an enziguri. We hit an armbar on East followed by a nice dropkick. Doink puts on the Stump Puller (East is sitting down and Doink sits on his neck before pulling up on his leg) and drops back into a cradle for the pin.

Doink’s first major feud was with Crush, who he fought at Wrestlemania IX.

Crush vs. Doink the Clown

This is during Crush-A-Mania when he was on the verge of getting the mega push to the stars which would never happen. Crush chases him around the ring to start and slams Doink on the floor before pounding Doink in the face a bit. Doink tries to punch back but Crush no sells everything. Back inside and Crush hits a neckbreaker for no cover. A neck snap over the top keeps Doink down as does a backbreaker. We’re three minutes in and it’s all Crush so far.

As Crush is hitting some Sheamus forearms on the apron, Doink hits a kind of Stunner on the top rope to take over. A few top rope forearms to the back of Crush’s head keeps us in clown control and a lame piledriver gets no cover. Doink actually slams him but goes up top and jumps into a boot to the jaw. A cross body attempt by the Clown doesn’t work as Crush hits a powerslam before clotheslining Doink to the floor.

Doink tries to crawl under the ring but gets hit with a gorilla press back in the ring. Crush puts on the head vice (finisher) but as Doink gets to the ropes, the referee is bumped. The vice goes on again but another Doink comes out from under the ring with the cast. He blasts Crush in the head with it and the original Doink gets the pin.

Rating: D+. This was basically a squash until Doink got in some not terrible offense. Again though, this was when Crush was about to get pushed to the moon, so he loses to Doink? The Clown character had a ton of potential, but instead of going with something interesting like the Joker, we got FUN Doink soon after this, because that’s interesting stuff right?

Doink would then be brought in as part of the Bret Hart vs. Jerry Lawler feud, with Lawler having Doink face Bret as a replacement at Summerslam 1993.

Bret Hart vs. Doink the Clown

This is evil Doink, meaning he’s AWESOME. Doink comes out carrying two buckets, one of which contains confetti to throw at the fans. The other is full of water which is thrown on Bruce Hart in the old Harlem Globetrotters trick. Bret jumps Doink on the floor and we get things going inside. Doink is punched back to the floor before he can even get his jacket off before Hart sends him into the post. Heenan talks about how Lawler was in an 18 car pileup, crawled out of the car and into a school bus, saved 40 kids from the bus and bought them all hamburgers before coming to the arena tonight. Vince’s stunned reaction is great.

Doink gets in a shot and goes up, only to be crotched on the buckle. Heenan: “He’s been de-Doinked!” Bret offers Lawler a chance to come in before dropping Doink with an atomic drop. Another Lawler distraction lets Doink hit a knee to the back before sending Bret into the steps. Doink starts working on the leg and wraps it around the post with Lawler cheering him on.

The Clown puts on an STF and Heenan swears Bret gave up. Doink transitions into a lame chinlock before putting on a stump puller (you sit the other guy down and push his head down while pulling up on a leg) to stay on the leg and neck. Bret comes back with a right and the Five Moves of Doom. He hooks the Sharpshooter but Lawler runs into the ring and breaks the crutch over Bret’s back for the DQ.

Rating: C+. The match was your usual good Bret match when he had a good opponent to work against. Lawler pretending to be injured is the perfect action for him as he’s such a slimy coward most of the time. The Bret vs. Lawler feud had incredible heat to it as the fans wanted to see Lawler get beaten up…….and then there’s this.

In 1994, Ray Apollo would take over the character and turn him face. His major feud was against Bam Bam Bigelow, though they only had one singles match from some point in February 1994. Doink also now has a mini clown named Dink.

Doink the Clown vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

Bigelow and Doink get in a tug of war over Dink until Doink grabs a quick belly to belly to send Bigelow out to the floor. Dink steps on Luna Vachon’s hand to draw some screams before Doink takes Bigelow down by the leg. The referee is with Dink for some reason, allowing Luna to rake the big clown’s eyes for the save. A hard elbow to the jaw drops Doink again but he comes back with a running knee lift as we take a break.

Back with Luna chasing Dink with both villains missing the little guy. Doink is finally getting up off the floor but can’t slam Bigelow, giving the big man a two count. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Doink fights up and grabs a belly to back suplex. Some clotheslines have Bigelow rocked but Luna trips Doink up. Bigelow hits the top rope headbutt, only to have Dink break up the pin. Luna grabs Dink but the little clown steps on Luna’s foot and headbutts Bigelow low, knocking him to the floor for a countout.

Rating: D. This was a comedy match minus the comedy that most people over about six years old would laugh at. Apollo sucked the life out of the character as the face turn took away all of the psychological dimensions to Doink and turned him into a guy who did a lot of goofy pranks.

Here’s the required tag match from Wrestlemania X.

Bam Bam Bigelow/Luna Vachon vs. Doink the Clown/Dink

Bigelow runs over Doink to start with a clothesline and a dropkick to silence the crowd. A headbutt misses though and the Clown pounds away a bit. Bigelow misses an elbow drop and it’s off to Dink, meaning Luna has to come in as well. This is your usual “comedy” but Luna does hit a running hip attack in 619 position but Dink starts running around in circles. The small clown goes up top but misses a dive.

Vachon goes up but misses a BIG splash, allowing the big boys to come back in. Doink pounds away but is clotheslined to the floor with one shot. Dink annoys both heels but Doink comes back in, only to be sat on in a sunset flip attempt. A charges misses the big clown though and a jumping DDT puts Bigelow down. The Whoopee Cushion (top rope seated senton) completely misses and Dink is knocked to the floor. Doink tries a suplex but Bigelow falls on him for two. The top rope headbutt is enough to finish off the clowns.

Rating: D. This was bad but not completely terrible. Doink wasn’t doing his stupid comedy and thankfully Bigelow didn’t have to look all that stupid, which is the worst thing they could have done. The match wasn’t much but to be fair they needed something to give the crowd a breather after the awesome opener. This wasn’t horrible.

What’s better than one small clown? THREE OF THEM! Against THREE MINI LAWLERS! From Survivor Series 1994.

Royal Family vs. Clowns R Us

Jerry Lawler, Queasy, Sleazy, Cheesy
Doink, Dink, Wink, Pink

We’ve got midgets. Great. In case you can’t tell, they’re three small Lawlers and three small clowns. Lawler tells the fans to NOT chant Burger King at him, because he’s a master at baiting a crowd you know. The big guys start and guess what the fans are chanting. Here’s the first ten minutes of the match: Lawler and Doink do something, Jerry takes over, the small clowns interfere and Lawler gets mad and loses the advantage.

Lawler tries an enziguri but Doink ducks to send Jerry hiding in his corner. Jerry yells at his partners and the Clowns are all laying on the ropes. Jerry gets Doink down and has the small Lawlers run over him. They make faces at the clowns then run back over Doink and crash in a pile. Keep I mind that these other kings have facial and chest hair. Jerry yells at them again and it’s back to the big guys fighting some more.

The small clowns all come in and cover Jerry with Doink counting. Lawler is all ticked off so they do the EXACT SAME SEQUENCE with Jerry counting Doink’s shoulders. Jerry can’t catch Cheesy when Doink kicks him off so Cheesy gets a two count on Lawler with Dink counting. Doink puts a Burger King crown on Lawler to make him even madder. Dink gets on Doink’s shoulders and (this isn’t a typo) Jerry gets on Sleazy’s shoulders which goes as well as you would expect it to.

The big guys have a test of strength and it turns into a big crisscross between the little guys. Lawler gets a non-existent foreign object to take over but it’s time for a chase scene! Jerry reverses a cross body and rolls up Doink with a handful of tights to eliminate the big guy. Lawler isn’t allowed to be in the ring with one of the smaller guys so the match is in essence over already.

It’s Queasy vs. Dink to start the second half of the match and Dink gets his arm bitten. Queasy gets his tights bitten as does Lawler. Now it’s Cheesy vs. Wink with Wink pulling on the beard. Lawler blocks a monkey flip and Cheesy pins Wink off a rollup. A minute later, Lawler drops Cheesy on Pink from six feet in the air for the pin and it’s Dink vs. all four of them. Pink hides under the ring instead of leaving as Dink beats up all three little guys. A top rope cross body looks to pin Cheesy but Lawler makes the save. Sleazy gets the easy pin to win it.

Rating: S. As in stupider, which I now am having watched this. Last year’s show at least had full sized people in there having these matches and it only ran ten minutes. This ran SIXTEEN MINUTES and wasted Jerry freaking Lawler on it. I’ll take ANYTHING after this and like it more than this.

We’ll get away from this stuff and go to Superstars, January 28, 1995.

Doink the Clown vs. Kwang

Kwang is a masked martial artist more commonly known as Savio Vega. Dink offers an early distraction, allowing Doink to get in some kicks to take over. Back up and Kwang nails a clothesline followed by a hook kick to the face. More boots set up a sunset flip from Doink followed by a dropkick for two. Kwang jumps into a powerslam for the pin out of nowhere.

Rating: D. Good night there were a lot of kicks in this thing. Kwang was a decent idea for a lower level card guy but the name pretty much killed him. Doink didn’t have much in the ring at this point but the powerslam wasn’t bad. At least the character doesn’t have that much longer to go.

Next up is a Raw from August 14, 1995 against a man that is described as the original Bray Wyatt.

Waylon Mercy vs. Doink the Clown

Mercy is a southerner who was the nicest guy in the world before the bell but he went nuts when the bell rang. Some armdrags send Mercy to the floor and a shoulder to the ribs knocks him off the apron. Doink gets catapulted out to the floor but comes back with some right hands. Mercy drops him with a single left hand and puts on the maniacal sleeper for the win. The fans chanting KILL THE CLOWN tells you everything you need to know about Doink at the moment.

Rating: D+. It’s a shame that Dan Spivey was in such bad shape as this character could have been a huge deal. The look was great and the promos were awesome but Spivey was just too old and banged up. Still though, it was cool to think about what it could have become. The fans just hated Doink by this point.

One more match from this era, on Raw in September 1995.

Doink the Clown vs. Hunter Hearst Helmsley

HHH gets annoyed at having Doink’s makeup rub off on his chest so Doink slams him down. A running clothesline drops Doink and Helmsley stomps away, only to run into a boot in the corner. Doink plants him with a side slam but misses an elbow. We hit a reverse chinlock on the clown before a Pedigree gets the pin.

Rating: D. Another boring match from Doink as he was nothing but a jobber to the stars at this point. Helmsley was brand new at this point too so seeing him get wins like this was exactly what you would expect to see happening. The fans didn’t care about the clown by this point either.

That would be about it for Doink as a full time wrestler but he would make some sporadic appearances later on, usually played by Steve Lombardi. Here’s an example from Smackdown on July 31, 2003.

Chris Benoit vs. Doink the Clown

Rhyno has sent Doink to annoy Benoit. Doink takes his time throwing stuff to the crowd so Benoit takes him down on the floor. The hard clothesline drops him to the mat and there’s the wicked German suplex. Doink gets crotched on the top rope, setting up a belly to back superplex, the Swan Dive and the Crossface for the submission.

Another one, from Raw on October 10, 2005.

Rob Conway vs. Doink the Clown

Conway wrestles in sunglasses and is a low level legend killer at this point. Doink gets two off a sunset flip and starts a BOO/YAY chant by pointing at Conway and then himself. Conway finally clotheslines him down and hooks a neckbreaker for no cover. A suplex neckbreaker is good for the pin on Doink.

Doink would be on Saturday Night’s Main Event XXXIV.

Kane/Doink/Eugene vs. Viscera/Kevin Thorn/Umaga

They deserve the ratings they get for this nonsense. The clown and the vampire start us off. Please just make this quick, that’s all I ask. They actually gave this 11 minutes. ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME??? Eugene gets the tar beaten out of him until Kane gets the big tag. Umaga destroys him and then Kane destroys the very fat man for the win. Somehow that was 11 minutes that I’ll never get back. Just get us out of here please.

Rating: F-. This was on in 2007. Let that sink in for a minute.

And another from Raw on July 10, 2010, a show I attended live.

Santino Bunch vs. Regal Bunch

Her video is literally nothing but clips from the Brady Bunch. No one under the age of 15 gets this at all as she’s just some old woman. It’s weird seeing a Boyle County (big old corn fed Kentucky high school football team) shirt on WWE TV. Florence is the announcer here and says she’s feeling groovy. It’s Regal, Ryder (with regular tights now), Primo and Doink (I’d bet on Nick Dinsmore, aka Eugene) vs. Santino, Khali, Kozlov and Goldust. That’s actually a fairly accomplished face team.

Henderson gets a MUCH better reaction here than she did in the video earlier. Wow apparently it was Steve Lombardi as Doink, more commonly known as the Brooklyn Brawler. The captains start us off as Santino has been less annoying lately. Florence puts on Regal’s robe and Santino goes Cobra on us. I wonder if he’s Cobra Commander.

It’s a big mess already and here’s Doink. The crowd only cared about him for the sake of comedy. Khali comes in and falls victim to a squirt gun. A big chop ends this in like a minute. Khali’s music really is good. Henderson is a sport here and at least seems like she wants to be there which is a very good thing if nothing else. She kisses Khali afterwards which is disturbing.

Rating: N/A. Although anything with these 8 guys can’t be incredibly good. Thankfully it seems that the guest host concept is ending. Shame it’s only 7 months too late but whatever.

And finally, from Raw on July 2, 2012 as part of Heath Slater hates legends.

Heath Slater vs. Doink The Clown

This is basically a squash with Slater hitting his spinning sleeper mat slam (didn’t that have a name?) for the pin at 1:20.

As you can see pretty clearly, Doink was little more than a joke for most of his career. However, those early days when he was sinister and evil and basically the Joker were some very entertaining performances and showed how much potential the character had. Then he became a joke and everyone hated him but that’s life in wrestling for you.

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One of the people talking about Brock coming back was Punk, and the first thought in my head was that Punk would know how awesome Brock is as Punk fought him at Summerslam. The same is true of Cena. Then I heard the year 2012 and I wondered how it could have been that long. Then I thought “oh yeah. He had that year long feud with HHH.”

The trilogy between HHH and Brock Lesnar might have been the least interesting big match trilogy of all time. It’s just totally forgettable and left no impact at all. It’s sandwiched between the match of the year in 2012 and the match of the year in 2013 and means nothing, all things considered. The match headlined Summerslam, was the second main event at Wrestlemania XXIX and headlined Extreme Rules. That REALLY should be something memorable but there’s just nothing there. I remember Brock vs. Big Show better than I remember the HHH feud, and I literally couldn’t remember Brock vs. Big Show two days after it happened.

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Things have changed after last night’s Money in the Bank show but it was pretty much what people expected. John Cena won the World Title while Seth Rollins became Mr. Money in the Bank. I can’t help but think Cena’s reign is just until we get to Summerslam where Brock can destroy him and take the title. Battleground is in three weeks so let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the ladder matches last night.

Here’s the Authority to get things going. Stephanie says she was born in Hartford before going into a discussion of Daniel Bryan’s announcement last night. However, the Authority is about the future going forward, much like Seth Rollins who became Mr. Money in the Bank. HHH talks about John Cena winning the ladder match and proving that he’s an A+ player.

Cena comes out to the usual reaction with the titles wrapped around his neck like an untied scarf. Stephanie gets cut off so John can say the Authority won’t give Bryan a title shot but Cena would love to. That starts up a huge YES chant but Stephanie has a different question. She asks how many people here are gamers. The reason she asks is because Cena is going to be on the cover of the WWE 2K15 video game. The banner unfolds and Stephanie dances to Cena’s music in a cute bit.

Cena says that’s very nice but hang on a minute. The Authority are being way too nice to him because he saw them right after he won those titles. He shows us a shot of them looking crushed after the match ended but Stephanie says it was because of Randy Orton’s injuries. Cena says that’s because they have Orton in their pocket, just like Seth Rollins.

HHH tries to talk like a Dr. of Thuganomics (seriously) before saying all this can go away really fast if Cena doesn’t do it with respect. Cena would rather do it the hard way if it means doing it by himself. HHH says he’d have it no other way, which is why Cena is defending the title in a fourway at Battleground.

After Stephanie explains the rules, HHH announces Kane, Orton and Roman Reigns. Just for fun, tonight let’s have Cena/Reigns vs. Kane/Orton. Cena says he’ll earn the titles again at Battleground and brings up Stephanie being thrown in the pool of whatever that was last week. Cena goes to leave but HHH says that if Cena survives the fourway, there’s always a plan B. Rollins comes out next to Cena, briefcase in hand.

Seth Rollins vs. Rob Van Dam

Van Dam quickly sends Seth outside before a big kick to the head staggers Rollins again. Rob fires off some shoulders to the back before putting on an old school abdominal stretch. He switches it up to a freaky looking double leg lock but Rollins makes the ropes and heads outside as we go to a break. Back with Van Dam hammering away but getting tripped into a half crab.

Rob injured his leg last night so there’s actually additional some psychology to this. Ropes are quickly grabbed and Van Dam comes back with clotheslines and a kick to the face, setting up Rolling Thunder for two. The split legged moonsault to Rollins’ back gets two but he grabs a legdrag to take over again. Rollins loads up the buckle bomb but Rob counters into a hurricanrana into the corner. The Five Star is ready but Rollins rolls to the floor, only to get taken down by a big dive from the top. As they come back in, Rollins twists the knee again to set up the curb stomp for the pin at 11:45.

Rating: B-. This worked really well and was one of Van Dam’s best matches in a very long time. He was actually doing stuff other than just the regular moveset so the match worked much better than usual. Rollins getting a win over a former World Champion is always a good thing and the match was a solid effort.

Post match Rollins says the briefcase proves him right over Ambrose because this is his golden ticket. Ambrose pops up on screen and says from one scumbag to another that this isn’t over. Plan A failed miserable last night when Rollins’ daddy had to send Uncle Kane out to save him. It might be more fun this way because Ambrose is going to be right there every time Rollins tries to cash in. That briefcase doesn’t have a contract inside because it’s full of TNT. Every time Rollins tries to case in, it’s going to blow up in his face.

Here are Rusev and Lana with something to say. Lana wants the USA chants to stop and talks about how there is only one superpower. She asks who will be the next American to try to stop him and Rusev speaks some Russian. The answer is the one that should have been here months ago: Jack Swagger.

Colter goes on a great rant about how Boris and Natasha can say this in America because they’re taking advantage of the Freedom of Speech. Lana said that nothing can stop the Rusev Crush but Colter thinks a Real American could do it. WE THE PEOPLE gets the loudest reaction of Swagger’s career and the boys are ready to go but Lana stops him. A LET’S GO SWAGGER chant starts and Rusev tries to get in a cheap shot. Swagger comes back with some armdrags of all things and the Russians bail.

Sheamus/Usos vs. Wyatt Family

Jey and Rowan get things going and a clothesline sends Jey to the floor and use to a very quick break. Back with Rowan cranking on Jimmy’s neck before Bray hits his running splash in the corner. Jimmy finally comes back with a Whisper in the Wind to Harper, allowing for the hot tag to Sheamus. Rowan gets sent to the apron for the ten forearms to the chest until Harper makes a save. Sheamus dives off the top to take the Family down before powerslamming Erick in the ring.

Wyatt offers a distraction though and Rowan sends Sheamus to the floor. Harper kicks Sheamus’ head off and the Wyatts take over. Rowan gets two off a splash and puts on the double fist head squeeze. It’s back to Bray who runs into a boot but knocks Sheamus out to the floor. A JBL chant starts up because the fans are bored I guess. Back in and Harper superkicks Sheamus down for two as the announcers ignore the crowd for a change.

Sheamus finally grabs the Irish Curse on Harper and makes the tag off to Jey as house is cleaned. A big dive takes Harper out and a pair of kicks to the face get two. Sheamus Brogue Kicks Rowan down and Jey hits a dive to take him out. Bray plants Sheamus with a release Rock Bottom and avoids a superkick from Jimmy, allowing Harper to hit the discus lariat for the pin at 13:07.

Rating: C+. Good but not great match here as the Wyatts will get another shot at the titles in theory. Harper continues to blow my mind every time he’s out there, but Bray makes me sad. The guy’s incredible push in the spring has been totally wasted and he hasn’t won anything of note in months. He isn’t being depushed but he just needs to do SOMETHING.

Stephanie interrupts Nikki Bella in the back and puts the Bellas in a tag match against the Funkadactyls. Since Brie is gone though, it just has to be a handicap match.

Here’s Bo Dallas who asks for sixty seconds of silence for Bad News Barrett and Daniel Bryan who can’t compete at the moment. He actually kneels for about sixty seconds before showing us a clip of him interacting with Bryan on last night’s pre-show. We go into the next match with Bo still on the stage.

Nikki Bella vs. Funkadactyls

Cameron gets things going as the announcers try to get bomb.com over as a catchphrase. Nikki fights off Cameron to start because even Nikki is better than she is. Naomi comes in with a huge high cross body and the reverse DDT for the pin at 1:35.

The Funkadactyls are about to fight post match.

We look at Barrett’s shoulder being injured, which will put him out for several months. The Intercontinental Title is now vacant and will be decided in a battle royal at Battleground. This brings out Paul Heyman for his usual talking points and to introduce Cesaro as the first entrant in the battle royal.

Cesaro vs. Kofi Kingston

Cesaro now has a black robe. Kofi is in the battle royal as well and comes out with a bad limp. Cesaro slams Kingston down with ease but gets sent to the floor for a BIG flip dive. Back in and a springboard gets caught in a Cesaro backbreaker. We hit the chinlock on Kofi before Cesaro hammers away, only to get rolled up for two as we take a break. Back….and the match ended during the break? Apparently that’s the case so we’ll say it ended at about 7:30.

Rating: D+. I don’t remember this happening in about the last ten years or so but it opens up a few more possibilities. I guess they’re pushing the App and to be fair this was a meaningless match so I don’t mind that I didn’t see how the fall took place. Kofi winning is a surprise, even though I have no idea how he won.

Cesaro DESTROYS Kofi with a hard throw into the crowd, Swiss Death, a throw over the table that wipes Cole out, and about 15 postings in a row. A replay shows that Kofi won with a rollup out of an electric chair.

Santino is having a party but no one showed up. Adam Rose and his Party shows up with a case of Twisted Tea, which I guess is a sponsor.

Damien Sandow comes out as Vince McMahon and does one heck of an impression. He hits all of the catchphrases and has the voice down perfectly. Sandow is in the Intercontinental Title battle royal but Stephanie interrupts and freaks out on Damien. He gets to face a giant also in the battle royal right now.

Great Khali vs. Damien Sandow

Chop, pin, four seconds.

It’s time for the return of a former WWE Champion and it’s….the Miz. He brags about being in Marine 4 and says he’s back to prove everyone wrong. People have called him a fluke but he’s here to show them that he isn’t a fluke. Miz isn’t leaving until he main events Wrestlemania again and people are begging him not to go. He’s finally cut off by the returning Chris Jericho in the real surprise. Miz rants about being the Marine and a huge star but gets taken down by a Codebreaker. Jericho says that felt great but we’ve got Wyatts. A triple team beatdown sets up Sister Abigail to leave Jericho laying.

Fandango vs. Dolph Ziggler

Ziggler tries to start fast but gets sent into the corner and dropped face first onto the mat for two. Fandango gets a kiss from Layla but Dolph hammers away with right hands. Summer, looking great in a pink dress, comes to the ring and kisses Ziggler who does the same right back. Fandango isn’t sure what to do so it’s the Zig Zag for the pin at 2:36.

Ryback/Curtis Axel vs. Stardust/Goldust

Goldust hammers on Axel to start but Ryback gets in a cheap shot from the apron to take over. We hit the chinlock on Goldust for a bit before he counters the Meat Hook with a spinebuster. The hot tag brings in Stardust who cleans with clotheslines all around plus a springboard dropkick. A downward spiral is enough for the pin on Axel at 3:00.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here again as Goldust and Stardust are already getting dull. I do like Cody getting a new finisher but it would have been nice if it was something a bit less generic. Ryback and Axel have lost every bit of their momentum from winning all of those matches against Goldust and whoever he had as a partner.

Here’s Paige with something to say. People have been telling her that she needs to go back down to NXT because she isn’t ready to be a champion but she has proven everyone wrong. This brings out the returning AJ Lee who says she wants to prove that she can get the title back. She congratulates Paige on being champion but Paige won’t shake her hand due to it being exactly what Paige did in her debut. The Title is on the line right now.

Divas Title: AJ Lee vs. Paige

Paige takes her into the corner to start and poses a bit. She shouts that this is her house now but gets small packaged out of nowhere to give AJ the title back at 1:00.

John Cena/Roman Reigns vs. Kane/Randy Orton

Cena and Orton get things going and the fans are already on John. Feeling out process to start with Cena getting the better of it. Reigns comes in and Orton bails to the corner for the power showdown. Kane is sent to the floor and we take our last break. Back with Reigns in trouble and Orton cranking on a chinlock. Kane gets in a few shots but Reigns nails a clothesline to start a comeback.

It only lasts a few seconds though as Orton sends him to the floor for a clothesline from Kane. Back in and Kane puts on a chinlock but Reigns powers up. They slug it out and a Samoan drop is enough to put Kane down, allowing Reigns to make the hot tag. House is cleaned and Kane takes the ProtoBomb but Orton nails Cena with an RKO. Reigns Superman Punches Kane down though, leaving Orton and Reigns to fight up the ramp. Kane sends Cena to the floor and nails him with the steps for the DQ at 11:57.

Rating: C-. This was pretty dull stuff and was only there to build towards the fourway. Kane isn’t going to win the title and everyone knows it but at least he’s getting a nice push instead of looking like everyone else. It was just a standard main event tag match and not a very good one at that.

Post match Kane tombstones Cena and knocks him out, drawing out Rollins for a cash in. HHH says ring the bell but Ambrose hits the ring to attack Rollins before the bell. Ambrose chases Rollins into the crowd and HHH is livid. Kane gets a chair to go after Cena but Reigns comes back and spears him down. Roman and HHH stare each other down and the fans are into it to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. The wrestling wasn’t the best in the world here but a lot of stuff was happening on this show. We had three returns, a new champion, a title vacated, and the start of a nice new feud for someone that needs it. This show took care of a lot of things they’ve needed to get around to and it worked really well as a boost. Battleground feels like a throwaway show but they seem to actually be putting some effort into it on the way. That’s a rare thing but it’s very welcome. Not a great show but it got some stuff done.

Results
Seth Rollins b. Rob Van Dam – Curb stomp
Wyatt Family b. Usos/Sheamus – Discus lariat to Jimmy Uso
Funkadactyls b. Nikki Bella – Reverse DDT
Kofi Kingston b. Cesaro – Rollup
Great Khali b. Damien Sandow – Chop
Dolph Ziggler b. Fandango – Zig Zag
Stardust/Goldust b. Ryback/Curtis Axel – Downward spiral to Axel
John Cena/Roman Reigns b. Kane/Randy Orton via DQ when Kane used the steps

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It’s the night after Backlash and Steve Austin is still WWF Champion. The big story other than that was the stuff that happened after the main event. Stephanie was sent to a waiting limo but the driver was the Undertaker. In other words, we’ve got a huge moment coming tonight which happens to be one of my favorite moments ever on Raw. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Vince knocking Shane out and inadvertently keeping the title on Austin.

The Stooges and a disturbed Vince get out of a limo.

Opening sequence.

Here’s The Rock to get things going. After saying FINALLY, Rock says he has to give Austin respect when it’s due. Therefore, Austin will forever be the biggest piece of trailer park trash that ever walked God’s green earth. Rock gave Austin the beating of his life last night but now he has a problem: a 200lb sack of monkey waste called Shane McMahon. He told Shane not to get involved…and here are Shane with the Corporation.

Shane gets in Rock’s face and blames Rock for wasting too much time last night being the Rock instead of pinning Austin. Now Rock stands in front of him as a loser. Those are grounds for Rock to remove his sunglasses and threaten to do something very uncomfortable to Shane with the brahma bull horns.

They’re about to go but Rock has to deal with the Corporation. After punching HHH and Chyna, Boss Man gets in a cheap shot with the nightstick and they’re all on the Rock. Shane fires Rock from the Corporation, basically cementing his face turn. The Corporation leaves but Rock challenges Shane to a fight later tonight. Shane says it’s on and the fans are even more into the Rock now.

Pat Patterson suggests Vince call the cops. Vince says no because he wants to do this Undertaker’s way. He has some papers that Undertaker has demanded and says he has no other option. After a break, Vince and the Stooges are waiting on Undertaker to call.

The Corporation gives Shane a pep talk. He wants a Rock jersey and HHH suggests the name The Crock.

Brood vs. X-Pac/Kane

Non-title. JR plugs a title match on the upcoming Smackdown special this Thursday but won’t say what channel it’s on. Edge spinwheel kicks X-Pac down to start and sidesteps a charge in the corner. Gangrel comes in and hammers away before getting two off a powerslam. X-Pac gets a boot up in the corner and the hot tag brings in Kane. The top rope clothesline flattens Gangrel and Christian is dragged in from the floor. A chokeslam is enough to pin Edge.

Post match the Brood’s red lights come on and Kane gets a blood bath. Kane chokeslams X-Pac into the crowd because he was the only in sight when the lights came back on.

Vince’s phone rings and we go to a break. Back with a recap of the phone call and of course we can hear everything Undertaker says. Vince says Undertaker can have what he wants: controlling interest of the WWF. Undertaker threatens Vince with hurting Stephanie if Vince screws with him. He calls Stephanie his soul mate and tells Vince to bring the documents to a loading dock near a hotel. One more thing: he wants Austin to deliver the documents. Vince says he can’t do that but Undertaker calls that Vince’s problem and hangs up.

Here’s Austin for an interview with Michael Cole. Michael asks about Austin overcoming the odds but Austin tells him to get out of the ring. Austin says he beat Rock on his own and that’s all he has to say about that. Cue Vince before Austin can go any further and Steve looks very confused. Vince asks Austin for help with the Undertaker situation and Austin chuckles a bit.

Austin says he’s got his own problems and doesn’t really care what happens to Vince and his daughter. The boss pleads his case and Austin relishes the fact that Vince needs him. He makes Vince says he needs him but Austin brings up their war over the last year plus. Based on that, Vince is on his own tonight.

Val Venis vs. D’Lo Brown

We look at Heat from last night where Nicole Bass said she wanted to sleep with Val. Brown runs in before Val can get in a catchphrase but Venis goes after the arm to take over. That goes nowhere as Brown takes him to the mat for a legdrop and two. Venis comes back with a slam but gets crotched going for the Money Shot. A superplex gets two for Brown but Val grabs a quick Russian legsweep. He loads up some grinding but Bass comes out for a distraction, allowing Brown to hit the Sky High for the pin.

Rating: D. The match didn’t have time to go anywhere and this was more about the story than anything else. Bass was there as a freak show act and the announcers treated her as nothing else. Nothing to the match here and both guys are capable of having so much better than this mess.

Brown’s valet Ivory goes after Bass for revenge from Bass beating her up on Heat and it doesn’t go well.

Big Show thinks Austin should help Vince.

Billy Gunn is coming for HHH to avenge X-Pac.

HHH vs. Billy Gunn

Gunn gets stomped down in the corner but comes back with a dropkick and right hands. A leg drag of all things put Gunn down and HHH has a target. The knee is wrapped around the post and a chop block has Gunn in even more trouble. HHH slowly stomps on the knee and yells at the crowd a lot. There’s a Figure Four with HHH holding the ropes but Gunn finally rolls over to escape. Gunn makes a comeback with right hands followed by a big powerslam for two. They head to the floor where Chyna LOUDLY posts Gunn, drawing out Road Dogg to get in Chyna’s face. A Pedigree ends Gunn.

Rating: D+. Slow match here but HHH looked good and evil for the most part. His push is coming and going after his old DX friends is a good way to get him ready. The feud hasn’t been the most interesting in the world but it’s there to set up something much bigger in the future. Gunn was his usual self here.

Shane whispers something to Boss Man.

X-Pac is looking for Kane.

Mankind/Big Show vs. Test/Big Boss Man

Mankind beat Big Show in a boiler room brawl last night but Show saved him from an attack by Boss Man/Test. Test hammers on Mankind to start but drops to the mat, allowing Mankind to score with a legdrop. Off to the Boss Man for nothing of note before Test comes back in. Mankind nails him in the back of the head to knock him into the corner but Boss Man doesn’t look interested in tagging.

Not that it matters as he tags himself in a few seconds later. Boss Man hammers away in the corner but rams heads with Mankind to put both guys down. The hot tag brings in Big Show, sending Boss Man running over to Test. That’s fine with Show as he calls for the chokeslam but Boss Man hits Show low. Big Show hits a jumping double clothesline to take both of them down, allowing Mankind to hit the double arm DDT on Test, followed by the Mandible Claw for the win.

Rating: D+. The fans were into the good guys but the match was sort of a mess. At the end of the day, Test and Boss Man weren’t the most interesting guys in the world at this point and it wasn’t much of a match. Mankind looked good out there and Big Show getting the hot tag to clean house is something that will always work.

Test and Boss Man get in each others’ faces post match and Boss Man hits him with the nightstick.

Vince is waiting with the documents.

X-Pac is STILL looking for Kane.

Bob Holly beats up Al Snow and demands a rematch for the Hardcore Title.

We go to a black and white scene at the Cleavage house. Beaver Cleavage (formerly Mosh of the Headbangers) doesn’t like his breakfast but his mother offers her some of his milk. It’s as creepy as it sounds.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Godfather

Non-title again. Before the match Jarrett asks to make it a title match, but Godfather says Debra has to be a Ho if he wins. Apparently it’s on and this is now a title match.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Godfather

Godfather, in a long sleeve golden shirt, runs Jeff over to start and gets two off a legdrop. Jeff comes back by sending Godfather into the ropes for a running crotch attack to the back of the head. Val Venis comes out and hits on Debra, drawing out Nicole Bass to chase Venis off. The distraction allows Godfather to roll Jeff up for the pin to retain.

Owen Hart gets Debra out of there, even though she seemed to like the idea of being a Ho.

Vince is doing exactly what he was doing the last time we checked in on him.

Terri and Jacqueline are about to have their way with Meat (Shawn Stasiak). This is set to what would become Sexual Chocolate Mark Henry’s music.

Bradshaw vs. Ken Shamrock

This is fallout from the Acolytes attacking Shamrock last night. Shamrock comes out carrying a ball bat but Farrooq jumps him from behind. Test comes out for a save and the Acolytes bail. Shamrock and Test look at each other in a sign of respect. Shamrock destroys some stuff with the bat. No match.

Shane McMahon vs. The Rock

Rock hammers away to start and throws Shane into the corner. This brings out the Posse who are easily dispatched as the match is thrown out.

HHH comes out and gets the better of Rock but Chyna makes the save. The fans chant for Rock but the numbers are too much for him.

Vince leaves the garage.

The Ministry drags Stephanie, wearing a long black dress, into the building. Paul Bearer is carrying a big book.

Here’s X-Pac to call out Kane. He looks at the entrance but gets jumped from behind by Owen Hart and Jeff Jarrett. The lights go out and Kane makes the save. X-Pac asks Kane what his problem is and gets chokeslammed too. Kane carries his buddy off.

The Ministry comes out with Stephanie tied to Undertaker’s symbol. They carry it into the ring and lay the symbol against the ropes as she screams for help. Undertaker says this is on Vince’s shoulders and Austin has shown his true colors. Bearer opens his book and reads what sounds like the opening of a marriage ceremony. We are here today to join Stephanie and Undertaker in holy wedlock but Stephanie shouts NO over and over.

Ken Shamrock runs out with the ball bat but the Acolytes take him down, allowing Viscera to splash him. We cut to the back where Shane is telling the Corporation to not come out yet. Bearer continues reading as Big Show comes out and nails the Acolytes and Viscera, only for Undertaker to nail him with the ball bat. The rest of the Ministry hammers Show on the floor as Bearer announces the union. He says to kiss the bride and HERE HE COMES.

Austin charges down the aisle and runs over Mideon before slugging it out with Undertaker. Austin finds a chair and NAILS Bradshaw in the head. Viscera and Mideon take even harder chair shots and the Ministry runs off. Austin looks at Stephanie and unties her from the symbol. Stephanie hugs Austin as Vince finally comes out. The father and daughter hug as Vince thanks Austin to end the show.  I love that moment as it’s a hero standing up against evil not because of who he’s helping, but because it’s the right thing to do.  That’s basic storytelling and it will always work.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a show where it was all about the stories with the wrestling being there to fill in time. Tonight we had a surprising moment in Austin and Vince’s relationship, the Ministry showing how evil they could be and making Undertaker the top heel in the company, and Rock turning face in a move that would last for years. They did a lot of heavy lifting tonight and things would change even more in the coming weeks. The insanity is only getting started though.

Here’s the Smackdown pilot if you’re interested.

It’s the final show before the Money in the Bank pay per view so odds are we’re going to see various matches between the participants in the two ladder matches. The build for the show has been acceptable but nothing thrilling for the last few weeks. Then again, a good wrestling show is always entertaining. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

We open with a recap of how we reached the World Title ladder match, complete with a music video.

Here are HHH, Orton and Rollins to get things going. HHH talks about all the eras we’ve seen in WWE history and says we’re currently in the Authority Era because the Authority keeps making history. One way they’re making history is by having the first Money in the Bank ladder match for the WWE Championship and to be the new face of the WWE.

But wait, there’s more. There’s also going to be a ladder match to become the new Mr. Money in the Bank. After Sunday, you’re looking at one heck of a team in front of you. Orton promises to climb the ladder and become World Champion on Sunday, meaning he’s still the face of the WWE. Rollins says he’ll win as well but says there’s a chance that Orton can’t get the job done. Orton thinks Rollins might not win either, but HHH cuts them off, saying it’s either survive against the Authority or thrive with the Authority. That brings him to Dean Ambrose, who is in for some Bad News tonight.

Bad News Barrett vs. Dean Ambrose

Non-title. They circle each other to start until Dean hits the Thesz Press and pounds Barrett out to the floor. Back in and Barrett hits a big boot to take over followed by a neckbreaker for two. Barrett hits his running boot while Ambrose is in the ropes and Dean is knocked to the floor again. We take a break and come back with Dean caught in a chinlock before he quickly fights out and nails some forearms. Barrett runs into a corner elbow but is still able to counter a tornado DDT. Ambrose escapes a pumphandle slam and hits his bouncing clothesline, setting up Dirty Deeds for the pin at 6:45.

Rating: C+. It wasn’t quite the Ziggler match on Monday but this was still better than most matches you get in WWE anymore. They’re actually having a competitive midcard again and it’s really nice to see for a change. Dean getting a clean win is a good thing, though I wish it had been against another opponent.

Post match Swagger comes out and beats up Barrett in retaliation for Barrett hitting the Bull Hammer on Main Event. Ambrose jumps Swagger and pulls out a ladder but they wind up brawling without it. Dean starts getting the better of it but Rollins comes in through the crowd and sends Dean into the steps. A curb stomp leaves Ambrose laying.

Cameron vs. Paige

Non-title. Naomi sits in on commentary. Paige runs her into the corner to start but gets caught with something resembling a Codebreaker for two. Cameron puts on a headscissors as Naomi says Cameron is always talking. A quick Paige Turner gets the pin at 1:17.

Paige and Naomi have a friendly staredown after the match but Cameron jumps the champion again, knocking her into Naomi. Naomi and Paige are about to fight but cooler heads prevail.

The Wyatts pop up on screen with Harper talking about never having nice things but the Usos have what they want. Tick tock tick tock. Bray says his brothers will trample the Usos and a ladder will be his stairway. He’ll take their ornament of power and have it all right in his hands. Imagine a nation of sheep led by a lone wolf.

Bray Wyatt vs. Sheamus

Non-title. Sheamus hammers away in the corner to start and runs Bray over with a shoulder before stopping a charging Wyatt with feet in the corner. The top rope shoulder looks to set up the forearms but Bray bails to the outside. The Family offers a distraction, allowing Bray to knock Sheamus off the apron as we take a break. Back with the Usos at ringside and Bray getting two off something we didn’t see.

Sheamus fights out of a superplex attempt but gets punched off the top rope to the floor. Back in and Bray fires off headbutts in the corner before we hit the chinlock. Sheamus comes out with a running ax handle to the face followed by the forearms. Some more ax handles set up the powerslam but Bray nails a quick splash in the corner followed by the backsplash for two. A mostly botched Irish Curse sets up a top rope knee drop but Sheamus doesn’t cover. Instead he puts on the Cloverleaf, drawing in the Family for the DQ at 8:35 shown of 12:05.

Rating: C-. Basic power brawl here with Sheamus getting in more offense than I was expecting. Bray’s chances of winning on Sunday fall further and further every week, which is a shame as he’s the most interesting guy in the match when he isn’t being jobbed out time and time again.

The Usos immediately come in and the Family is sent running.

Goldust and Stardust accept Ryback/Axel’s challenge for Sunday. Stardust shows up and talks about staring into the sun and how terrifyingly beautiful it is. He talks about other stars but knows that he’s everyone’s favorite. Cody is nailing this so far.

Rob Van Dam/Dolph Ziggler vs. Cesaro/Alberto Del Rio

Heyman is on commentary as Del Rio and Van Dam get things going. A quick monkey flip sends Del Rio flying for two and it’s off to Ziggler for the big elbow drop. Del Rio throws him down though and brings in Cesaro to work on Dolph’s arm. Back to Alberto for a kick to the arm in the corner as Heyman breaks down the strategy for Sunday: “Climb the ladder and get the titles. What a stupid question!”

Ziggler hammers away in the corner and nails a neckbreaker as Heyman turns it into an analogy about asking Hilary Clinton how she’ll become President. Cole of course gets in a jab at Hilary because that’s probably what Cole told him to say. Del Rio kicks Ziggler out to the floor and us to a break. Back with Del Rio holding Ziggler in a chinlock followed by the tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two. Cesaro puts on a chinlock of his own as Cole and Heyman continue their amusing banter about Sunday.

Ziggler fights back and puts on a sleeper but Cesaro rams him into the buckle to escape. Dolph avoids a charge and makes the hot tag to Rob as house is cleaned. Rolling Thunder gets two on Alberto but he nails a Codebreaker to the arm. Rob avoids the corner enziguri and hits the split legged moonsault for two. Swiss Death lays Ziggler out and Rob kicks Cesaro to the floor. The Five Star hits knees though and the armbreaker gives Del Rio the submission at 10:00.

Rating: C. Totally standard and therefore fine upper midcard tag match here which did what it was supposed to do before Sunday. I doubt any of them have a chance at winning on Sunday but it’s nice to see WWE give them some lip service. Also Van Dam continues to job to anyone he can find like he should be doing.

The Usos talk very fast about keeping the titles on Sunday. They can cut some energetic promos.

Lana and Rusev do their thing in the ring, consists of standing there looking intimidating and looking great in a blue suit. You figure out which is which. The theme this week is urban decay in America, which just doesn’t happen in Russia.

Rusev vs. Sin Cara

Total squash of course with Rusev winning via the Accolde in 42 seconds.

Big E. comes out after the match and talks about how America has transformed into a nation that works hard to keep things together. A real man looks his opponent in his eye which is what Big E. does here, but Lana makes Rusev back off. I’d buy this feud a bit more if Rusev hadn’t destroyed Big E. in almost every encounter they’ve had.

We look at the Stephanie vs. Vickie angle from Raw. That’s a great sendoff for Vickie and Stephanie’s YOU’RE FIRED sounded so much like her dad’s it was eerie.

Big E. vs. Rusev and Layla vs. Summer Rae with Fandango as guest referee have been added to the MITB card.

Roman Reigns vs. Kane

Feeling out process to start until Reigns gets two off a running shoulder. A slam gets the same but Reigns lowers his head and gets caught by a running DDT for two. We take a break and come back with Reigns in a chinlock but quickly breaking out. Kane walks into a Samoan drop but he kicks Roman in the face to take over.

The side slam gets two and a frustrated Kane sends him out to the floor. He loads up the announcers’ table but Reigns drives him back first into the edge. Back inside now with Reigns nailing a clothesline followed by some headbutts. The apron kick sets up the Superman Punch but Orton comes out for the DQ at 4:52 shown of 8:22.

Rating: D+. It’s a decent power brawl but it didn’t have the chance to go anywhere. As I’ve said for a few weeks now though, Reigns is looking more like an even footing star every night and it’s getting easy to accept. Reigns beat Kane up here for a lot of the match and was never in any serious trouble. That’s a really interesting sign.

Orton takes the Superman Punch but Reigns walks into a chokeslam. Kane brings in a ladder but Orton isn’t too keen on him climbing up. Kane steps to the side as Orton looks up, allowing him to climb the ladder. JBL is putting the pieces together as Orton takes the belts down (note that they’re attacked to a kind of hanger and Orton took the hanger down, making it less likely that someone would only take one belt) and poses. Orton loads up the Punt on Reigns but gets speared. Kane takes one as well and Reigns holds up the titles to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This show did a much better job of what it was supposed to do as Sunday now feels a bit more interesting. On top of that, there are now three more matches on the card, which solves one of the show’s biggest problems. This was no masterpiece or anything but it was an easy way to spend two hours.

Results
Dean Ambrose b. Bad News Barrett – Dirty Deeds
Paige b. Cameron – Paige Turner
Sheamus b. Bray Wyatt via DQ when the Wyatt Family interfered
Alberto Del Rio/Cesaro b. Rob Van Dam/Dolph Ziggler – Cross armbreaker to Van Dam
Rusev b. Sin Cara – Accolade
Roman Reigns b. Kane via DQ when Randy Orton interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Survivor Series at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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It’s the go home show for Backlash and the main story is the Ministry being totally out of control. The Corporation is fighting them as well as they can but there’s just too much going on for them to do much good. Other than that we’ll get the fallout from Rock throwing both Austin and the title belt into the river last week. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the Smoking Skull belt being introduced and then thrown in the river last week with Austin following it into the water.

Rock drives a hearse into the arena because he buried the title last week. This week it’s going to be a funeral with Rock delivering the eulogy. We even have a casket, flowers, and a big mound of dirt. Rock climbs onto the mound while guaranteeing to show that he’s the best champion ever on Sunday. Simple stuff here but on a big stage.

Vince and Stephanie will do a sitdown interview in Connecticut tonight so Vince is checking with security to make sure Stephanie is safe.

Road Dogg vs. Owen Hart

There’s no ramp this week due to the grave taking up so much space. Before the match, Dogg says that the Outlaws are the #1 contenders but if he loses tonight, Owen and Jarrett are the #1 contenders, no questions asked. However, if Dogg wins, the world gets to see Debra’s puppies. That’s the first time that term was ever used in the WWF so there’s your historical moment.

Owen jumps Dogg to start as Jerry is now a huge Roadie fan. The left hands and shaky knee drop get two on Owen but he comes back with a spinwheel kick (Lawler: “NO!”). A legdrop gets two more for Hart and he nails an enziguri for a close two. Owen drops a middle rope elbow but Dogg kicks out of the Sharpshooter and hits the pumphandle slam for the pin, sending Lawler into orbit.

Rating: D. This was just about the post match stuff and introducing one of the longest running jokes in WWF history to the lexicon. The tag match on Sunday was the more important story anyway, but this is far most historic. It says a lot that Owen and Jarrett were one of the top teams in the division.

Jeff Jarrett prevents the unveiling.

Undertaker sends the Acolytes out to take care of the Brood.

Rock is practicing his eulogy.

Brood vs. Acolytes

Christian is the odd man out here. It’s a brawl to start with the power guys easily taking over to start. Farrooq powerbombs Edge down but the Canadian comes back with a spinwheel kick and some lame kicks to the shoulder. That’s fine with Farrooq as he comes back with a spinebuster and makes the tag to Bradshaw. Gangrel comes in and fights out of a superplex before hitting a quick DDT.

Bradshaw hits a quick fall away slam and brings Farrooq back in for a belly to back suplex/neckbreaker combo. Farrooq works on the back as Lawler’s voice sounds like it’s cracking. Gangrel finally gets over for a tag but Bradshaw takes Edge’s head off before he can get going. The double powerbomb lays out Edge but Shamrock runs in with a ball bat to knock Bradshaw silly for the DQ.

Rating: D+. Not much better than the opener but it had more time and the teams knew how to work a decent match. Neither team would do anything for awhile but once Edge and Christian took off they never looked back. The main event war continues to devour the entire company.

Undertaker is livid at the Acolytes for not getting a pin.

There’s a new special coming. It’s called Smackdown.

During the break, Undertaker and Viscera beat the tar out of Farrooq and Bradshaw.

Intercontinental Title: Godfather vs. Hardcore Holly

Only Godfather’s title is on the line. It’s a slugout to start with Godfather getting the better of it. A boot to the face sends Holly to the floor where he picks up a cookie sheet, only to get rolled up for two. The Ho Train crushes Holly but we’ve got a ref bump a minute into the match. Holly rolls outside again and nails Godfather with the cookie sheet several times before throwing him out to the floor. A hockey stick over Godfather’s back has him in even more trouble but Godfather kicks a chair into Holly’s face. Goldust comes out and breaks up Godfather’s cover, but Snow lays Holly out with Head to give Godfather the pin.

Rating: D-. Did I mention this is Russo time? It’s a three minute and five second match, complete with a ref bump, four weapons and two run ins. I have no idea why the match needed all this stuff but that’s part of Russo’s philosophy: a title match isn’t enough to keep the fans’ entrance so all this stuff has to be thrown in. It works once in awhile but when it happens all the time, the effect wears off.

Undertaker is on the phone with Mideon and tells him not to fail.

Rock is having his shoes shined and promises to bury Austin tonight.

Ken Shamrock vs. Big Boss Man

No holds barred due to Boss Man attacking Shamrock last week to kick him out of the Corporation, though Shamrock is still loyal to Vince. The brawl starts in the aisle with no one in control. Boss Man is sent into the steps and then into the ring for the opening bell. Shamrock kicks Boss Man in the head and they slug it out until an enziguri (hit Ken’s shoulder) puts Shamrock down. A much better pair of spinebusters get three straight two counts and a powerslam gets one more. Boss Man hammers away even more but Ken grabs a hurricanrana and belly to belly out of nowhere for the pin.

Rating: D-. The gimmick brings this down as there was no reason for this to be no holds barred at all. If nothing else it makes future matches with the same gimmick look stupid as fans will say “the last one sucked so why should I care about this one?” As a regular match it wasn’t much to see either.

Undertaker immediately pops up and says he knows where Ryan Shamrock is, even knowing her room number. Ken runs to the back.

The Mean Street Posse comes out for commentary.

Mankind vs. HHH

Some right hands have HHH in early trouble but Chyna pulls Mankind down by the tie and hits him in the face. That doesn’t last long though as a backdrop puts HHH down again and he gets tied up in the Tree of Woe. HHH comes back again and hits the running knee to send Mankind outside. Chyna gets in even more shots as the Posse hasn’t had much to say so far.

Back in and HHH drops a knee for two before clotheslining Mankind out to the floor. Both guys are sent into the steps with HHH getting the better of it and hammering away back inside. The Pedigree is countered but HHH blocks the catapult attempt, so Mankind falls head first onto his crotch. Socko is loaded up but Chyna crotches Mankind against the post for a DQ.

Rating: C-. Better match but that’s still not saying match. These guys were capable of having some classics but they need more than six minutes on a random Raw in the middle of April. The DQ/screwy finishes are getting really annoying tonight, which says a lot given what we usually have to sit through on this show.

Post match the Corporation comes in to attack Mankind but Big Show makes the save. He hits a HUGE chokeslam on Test to send everyone running. Mankind grabs the mic and says thank you very much, but they’ll still meet in his boiler room on Sunday.

Rock is on the phone in the parking lot and says his car cost $40,000.

Billy Gunn vs. Jeff Jarrett

Jeff sends him into the corner and stomps away to start but walks into a great powerslam for two. Owen comes out to trip Billy, allowing Jarrett to clothesline him outside. Road Dogg gets caught trying to help and Gunn is posted. A bulldog gets two for Jarrett but Billy drops him face first onto the top turnbuckle to take over.

Road Dogg helps his partner out with a right hand but Billy and Jeff hit heads to knock each other down. JR is already annoyed at the puppy jokes as Billy nails a neckbreaker, but Debra unbuttons her top to show off her bra. Billy simply drops his tights and hits a Fameasser on Jarrett but Owen comes in for the DQ.

Rating: C-. That’s almost out of pity as these matches have just been awful tonight. The tag matches make sense for Sunday, but I don’t see the point in having one team win both of the matches. The puppy stuff would dominate anything to do with women for about the next three years, much to JR’s annoyances.

Debra takes off her jacket but Jeff covers her bra with the guitar.

Rock won’t give an interview to WWF.com and tells the interviewer to get him some fruit.

Viscera vs. Big Show

They lock up to start and Big Show easily shoves him to the mat. Viscera takes him into the corner for some fat man splashes, only to get crushed with a clothesline. A rather impressive hiptoss puts Viscera down but he comes back with more fat man splashes. Big Show kicks him in the face to drop Viscera again but the lights go out as he loads up the chokeslam. We’ll say it’s a no contest here after your usual battle of the huge men match.

Undertaker and Paul Bearer come to the ring and we get the real showdown with Big Show. They slug it out and both try chokeslams but Viscera gets back up for the double team. Big Show still won’t go down but Undertaker punches him onto one knee. Mankind comes out to even things up but Undertaker leaves Viscera alone. Big Show superkicks Viscera to the floor. It really is amazing how much bigger Show is than Viscera, who is a massive man.

We look at Shane taking over the Corporation last week.

Vince and Stephanie are in Connecticut for a sitdown interview with Michael Cole. Vince says he’s always been proud of Shane but he wasn’t always there for him. Shane missed a lot as well because Vince wasn’t there, but Vince wasn’t proud last week. Stephanie can’t believe what Shane has done recently but knows that the only person that can keep her safe is Vince.

Security interrupts the interview and says something is going on in the parking lot. Vince tells the guards to stay there with Stephanie and goes after whoever is in the parking lot. It turns out to be Mideon and Vince beats the tar out of him before trying to crush Mideon with his own car. Mideon escapes and gets into the car as we go to a break.

Here’s Val Venis to say he’s solved the Y2K problem. All the ladies have to do is add a few extra bytes of ram from his hard drive and everything will be fine. This brings out Sable who says that’s nice, but she’s got bigger news: in two weeks, she’ll be shooting her second Playboy pictorial. This brings out Ivory and D’Lo Brown and the double brawl is on for no apparent reason. Now Sable’s bodyguard Nicole Bass comes out to destroy Ivory with a chokeslam. Val seems to have eyes for Sable.

It’s time for Rock to deliver the eulogy for Austin. Rock sets the tone with “Dearly trailer park trash”. Oh we could be in for a good one here. Rock isn’t sure if a roody poo like Steve Austin will fit in that casket before we get the real point of this: Rock opens his jacket to reveal the Smoking Skull belt. He runs his mouth about Backlash a bit until you can hear an engine revving.

We go outside and Austin is in a 3:16 monster truck. He goes over to the Rock’s car and puts it in the middle of the parking lot before getting back in the monster truck. Austin teases it a bit by driving around the Lincoln Continental a few times before crushing the brand new $40,000 car, sending Rock into a frenzy.

With that nice and destroyed, Austin drives the truck into the arena and beers are consumed. Back into the truck and Austin runs over the hearse before the fight is on. Rock barely gets in a single shot before Austin nails him with the belt to send Rock into the grave. Austin poses with the title but Shane comes in (remember that he’s the referee on Sunday) and breaks a shovel over Austin’s head to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This is where Vince Russo was in need of the leash more than ever. All the stuff in the middle of this show was about as dreadful as you can get because it keeps going so fast that you can’t keep up with anything at all. However, there’s good stuff on both ends of the show that make it worth seeing. As for a go home show though, this really didn’t hold up well either. Most of the matches were just glossed over and the pay per view sounds like it’s going to be a big commercial for the next night’s Raw. That being said, it’s still better than anything WCW was doing at this point and that’s all that mattered.

Here’s Backlash if you’re interested:

We’re in Cleveland tonight and the main story continues to be Shield vs. HHH/Orton/Rollins, which doesn’t seem to be Evolution anymore. Other than that we’re getting ready for Money in the Bank with two spots left in the World Title ladder match. John Cena is still without a match for the show, so you can probably pencil him in for a qualifying match at some point this week. Let’s get to it.

First off on a personal note, Happy Birthday Mom.

We open with the roster on the stage and the Authority walking through them to get to the ring. Stephanie knows how hard it is for the fans to not have a WE Champion because the title means so much. Look at her husband, the greatest of all time for proof of how it can immortalize people. Bryan has proven that he’s a B+ player because he didn’t have the heart to defend the title.

This brings HHH to the roster on the stage, because the next WWE Champion might be standing up there right now. Stephanie says tonight is about opportunity because someone will join the Money in the Bank match. Everyone up there will be in a battle royal, minus the Shield because they’ve refused to evolve. Also, John Cena won’t be in the match for reasons not specified. HHH knows Cena loves to help people, so tonight Cena can help the Authority. Tonight Cena gets his own chance to qualify for Money in the Bank, in a stretcher match against Kane.

Comedian Kevin Hart is guest host tonight.

Seth Rollins vs. Dolph Ziggler

I think we had a miscue before the break as Kane came out and is nowhere to be seen now. Rollins has some new music and is back in something similar to his Shield attire, though it’s a plain black sleveless top instead of a vest. The hometown boy runs Seth over to start but Rollins slaps him in the back of the head a few times. Ziggler hiptosses him down and out to the floor for a breather. Back in and Rollins puts on a headlock before whipping Ziggler hard into the corner as we take a break.

We come back with Seth getting two off something we didn’t see before putting on a chinlock. Ziggler escapes and heads to the floor where he blocks a suicide dive. Back in and Rollins hits a quick enziguri but misses the curb stomp, allowing Ziggler to nail the jumping DDT for two. Ziggler hammers away and gets two off a sunset flip before putting on the sleeper. Seth is quicky out but the Fameasser gets two for Dolph. Not that it matters as Rollins hits two straight buckle bombs followed by the curb stomp, but Ambrose runs in for the DQ at 11:06.

Rating: C+. This was getting going but the DQ ending makes sense in this case. Ambrose not coming out there when he knew where Rollins was wouldn’t have made sense so the ending is as logical as you can get. You knew Ziggler wasn’t going to go over Rollins at this point, so there isn’t much to complain about.

Ambrose erupts on Rollins but Seth bails to the floor. Dean tells him to get down here for his beating, but HHH pops up on screen and says he has some bad news for Ambrose.

Bad News Barrett vs. Dean Ambrose

This is joined in progress after a break with Dean, in street clothes, hitting a cross body and hammering away on Barrett. I’m assuming this is non-title. A snap suplex gets two on Barrett and we hit the face rip. Barrett comes back with a knee to the ribs and puts on a chinlock, complete with an angry look on his face. Bad News hammers away in the corner but Dean runs him over and fires off right hands of his own to knock Barrett outside. A big dive takes him down again but Barrett takes him inside and clotheslines Dean off the top rope to mess up Ambrose’s bad shoulder again. We take a break with the referee looking at Dean.

Back with both guys still on the floor and Barrett ramming the bad arm into the apron. They head back inside for more arm work until Dean makes a comeback with his good arm. Some right hands have Barrett staggered but he runs into Winds of Change for two. Wasteland is countered into a crucifix but Dean does his bounds off the ropes clothesline to drop Barrett. Dean is feeling the crowd because he’s an awesome face, but Rollins is on the announce table again. The distraction doesn’t work as Barrett is sent to the floor, setting up a double suicide dive from Ambrose. Dean follows Seth into the crowd for the countout at 11:55.

Rating: B-. Nice match here but more importantly Dean is FEELING IT as a face. The guy is just flat out talented and has the awesome visuals that you need to be a star. This feud is starting to make me think of HHH vs. Rock in 1998 and that feud launched both guys into the main event for the rest of their careers. That’s a very, very good sign.

Vickie Guerrero is bringing coffee to the Authority. She runs into Roman Reigns and suggests sugar. Vickie leaves the coffee there and Reigns spikes it with her gone. She sneezes again because that’s her thing now. And people wonder why the writers are mocked.

Here are the Wyatts with something to say. The ladder is set up in the middle of the ring. The cell phones for Wyatt’s entrance make for an awesome visual. Before the match Bray talks about how without power, we’re all just little mice running from the lions in the jungle. Power can be addicting because we all need and crave it. Power will be our downfall though because a powerful is to be respected, but a weak man is less valuable than the dirt he crawls through.

Bray’s game is power and that title is all the power he needs. He wants us to look at Harper and Rowan and judge them as you will. Judge them as you want, because at Money in the Bank, they’re taking the Tag Team Titles from the Usos. Bray crawls under the ladder and says at Money in the Bank, he’ll claim his power and his title. Sheamus interrupts and offers to put his boot down Bray’s throat because it’s time to fight.

Bray Wyatt vs. Sheamus

It’s a brawl to start with both guys getting in their own big shots to the head. Bray takes him down and slugs away with Sheamus in early trouble. Back up and Bray’s suplex is slam is blocked into a suplex from the ticked off pale one. Now it’s his turn to hammer away on Wyatt before dropping him with a running forearm. A middle rope forearm staggers Bray and the fight goes out to the floor. The Family is about to get involved but the Usos come out to even things up as we go to a break.

Back with Sheamus fighting out of a chinlock to continue the brawl before Bray hits the running crossbody for two. Sheamus hits the forearms on the apron but Bray counters White Noise. A powerslam puts Bray down and it’s Brogue Kick time but the Family interferes for the DQ at 11:16.

Rating: C+. This was the Sheamus Special: put him in there with another power brawler and let them beat each other up for awhile. Bray is looking like a step above a dark horse for the title match and I’d love to see him get the title just to see where things go from there. Nice match here and it’s nice to see no one win in a match where both guys should look strong.

Post match the Usos and Sheamus clean house, including using the ladder as a ramp to dive on the Wyatts. Sheamus throws the ladder at the Family’s head and Rowan looked to take it full on in the face.

HHH accidentally knocks his coffee into Vickie’s face. Stephanie gets hers and says it’s good.

After the break, Stephanie is still drinking coffee and talking about how it’s every man for himself when her stomach gets upset. Because her drink is spiked and she needs a bathroom you see, because that’s what a violent and angry man like Roman Reigns does. Paul Heyman comes in to take Stephanie’s interview time and asks about who could win Money in the Bank. He says it’s going to be Cesaro and that’s a spoiler.

Rusev vs. Heath Slater

This time Lana’s speech takes place in the ring. She thinks American men should be ashamed because Rusev keeps running through them and they’re nothing compared to Vladimir Putin. We get a picture of a Russian Mount Rushmore and Rusev can apparently speak English, saying that resistance if futile. Slater actually gets to talk and asks why Lana and Rusev don’t go back to Russia if they love it so much. He’s now the American Rock Star. Heath sactually slugs away to start but runs into a right hand and the jumping superkick. Accolade ends this in 34 seconds.

Vickie is sent in to check on the sick Stephanie and gets vomited on. Vickie is put in charge while the Authority leaves. Screaming ensues. This made me groan out loud.

Reigns goes to see Vickie, who hasn’t cleaned up because, as we learned from Layla last week, showers don’t exist at WWE. Roman says she’ll get fired next week and asks to be put in the battle royal to screw with the Authority. “Fine. YOU’RE IN!” The fans seem very pleased with this.

We get a clip of Kevin Hart’s new movie Think Like A Man Too.

Kevin Hart is talking about the movie when Adam Rose and the Exotic Experience comes in. Rose plugs the movie and says Hart should be a Rosebud. Hart has no idea what he just said but says no. Kevin wants to know why they’re all singing at him and that’s about it.

Adam Rose/Summer Rae vs. Fandango/Layla

Kevin Hart is on commentary. Cole tries to explain why the girls have poured milk and kitty litter on each other and it sounds so ridiculous when you put it into words. The guys get things started as Kevin makes fun of their clothes. Layla tags herself in and we get a catfight but Layla quickly tags out. Summer chases her up the aisle and Rose hits the Party Foul for the pin at 1:25.

Hart joins the Express post match.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Battle Royal

Titus O’Neil, Damien Sandow, Bo Dallas, Jack Swagger, Diego, Fernando, Curtis Axel, Fandango, Dolph Ziggler, Rusev, Ryback, Sin Cara, Santino Marella, Kofi Kingston, Big E., Roman Reigns, Rob Van Dam, Bad News Barrett, Xavier Woods

Those are all the people on the graphic so there’s a chance I missed a few. Damien is LeBron James because why not. Not that it matters as everyone gets together to put him out ten seconds in. Bo throws Santino out and Rusev does the same thing to both Matadores. Woods gets the same treatment from Rusev and everyone brawls for awhile.

Ziggler is sent to the apron and Reigns eliminates Titus. Swagger puts Sin Cara on the apron before catapulting him out. Kofi can’t get Swagger out and Big E. can’t get rid of Axel. Rusev gets Ziggler to the apron but a kick to the head saves Dolph. Kofi finally gets Swagger out and we take a break. Back with Rusev, Reigns, RVD, Ryback, Ziggler, Fandango, Dallas, Big E., Axel and Barrett still in, meaning Kofi (via Ryback) was the only elimination during the break. Speaking of eliminations, Ryback punches Ziggler out to the floor for his second straight elimination.

Reigns starts cleaning house and even takes Rusev down with a Superman Punch but can’t take care of Ryback that easily. Roman sends Fandango to the apron but has to spear Ryback and Axel down. A kick to the head puts Fandango out and Rusev kicks Reigns in the chest. Big E. dumps Ryback and Reigns throws out Axel. Another kick puts Roman down but Van Dam kicks Rusev in the face. Van Dam and Dallas start fighting but Barrett takes Rob down with a big boot.

Rob comes back with more kicks but Bo shoves him off the corner for a surprise elimination. That could be Bo’s first big feud. Barrett lays out a celebrating Bo and throws him to the apron but Bo hangs on. Nice little call back to the Rumble from a few years ago. Reigns dumps Barrett and Dallas knocks out Big E., but walks into the spear. Dallas is dumped and we’re down to Rusev vs. Roman.

The fans are WAY into this and the slugout is on. Reigns gets the early advantage but walks into a wicked spinwheel kick. They trade running charges in the corner and Reigns puts him on the apron. Some big right hands can’t get rid of the Russian but the Superman Punch sends Reigns to Money in the Bank and the crowd is VERY happy.

Rating: B. I was doubting Reigns for awhile but he’s coming off like a STAR at this point, just like Ambrose. This was a really solid battle royal as there were some good saves and the last bit of the match was really solid stuff. The last pairing is how you should do big matches: take two guys who look unbeatable and have them fight. Notice the reaction and you’ll see why that’s an idea.

John Cena holds up five fingers and knocks down a finger at a time to explain why he should go to Money in the Bank. All that’s left is his index finger, because him being WWE Champion is what’s best for business. Various unfunny references to Stephanie and Vickie were included.

Cameron vs. Paige

Non-title. There’s some story here about Cameron slapping Paige on social media. Paige gets all ticked off to start and throws Cameron around by the hair before driving in some headbutts. Cameron bails to the floor but comes back in with a kick to the ribs and another slap for two. Paige shrugs it off and nails some clotheslines followed by the PTO for the submission at 3:30.

Rating: D. Total snack time match here, but it showed one thing: Cameron is there because she’s annoying on a badly scripted reality show and how she looks in shorts. She couldn’t do even basic stuff competently in there and Paige was carrying everything she could for the match. Nothing to see here and Paige needs better help.

We recap the Rhodes Brothers’ issues. Tonight Cody has found the perfect partner for Goldust. Goldust has met him and says the partner is super and galactic.

Ryback/Curtis Axel vs. Goldust/???

And it’s Cody Rhodes in Goldust paint under the name Star Dust, despite Cody saying it wouldn’t be him last week. The Dusts jump Ryback and Axel to start with Cody hitting a quick DDT on Axel. Ryback is sent to the floor and Cody nails a springboard elbow to Curtis’ head. Something resembling Diamond Dust (ending in a cutter instead of a Stunner) ends Axel at 1:00.

Stephanie helped host the Special Olympics to give her a new charity to work with.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: John Cena vs. Kane

Stretcher match which is taking place because Cena is replacing Bryan due to injury. Kane easily takes him down to start and stomps away before taking him down to the floor. Cena is quickly off the stretcher and rams it into Kane’s ribs a few times to take over. A hard whip sends Cena into the steps and another puts him into the post to give the monster control again. John is put on the stretcher but gets off before they get too far up the ramp.

Back from a break with Kane still in control but Cena sends him into a chair. Cena goes up, only to jump into a chokeslam. That doesn’t mean much in a stretcher match though so Kane brings in the steps. John dropkicks the leg out though and Kane’s head slams into the steel. An AA off the steps is countered into a DDT but Cena is still dead weight. Kane can only get the stretcher partially up the ramp before Cena fights back and sends him into the post.

Kane whips Cena into the barricade and loads up the table but gets caught in an AA through said table to put the monster down. He’s still a long way from the stretcher though so Cena wisely puts him in a fireman’s carry. Cena gets him to the stretcher but collapses before he can get Kane on it. Cena finds another stretcher from ringside and gets Kane on it but here are Orton and Rollins to put Cena back in the ring. Why they didn’t put him on a stretcher is beyond me.

An RKO lays Cena out in the ring but Ambrose hits the ring to save Cena from a chair shot. Kane is back up though with a chokeslam to Ambrose, leaving us with the people in the match. Cena low bridges Kane to the floor and looks at the steps. We get the throw the steps spot but Kane mostly blocks them with his hands. He goes down anyway though and puts Kane on the stretcher but Kane sits up at the last second. He grabs Cena by the throat but Cena AA’s him back onto the stretcher to go to Money in the Bank at 15:18.

Rating: C-. These two never really worked all that well together but this wasn’t all that bad. I was thinking they wouldn’t go with Cena there for a second but I wasn’t sure what that would leave him with at the pay per view. Hopefully this gets rid of Kane for awhile as there really isn’t much for him to do right now.

Cena poses to end the show.

Overall Rating: B+. This show got by on energy alone and there’s nothing wrong with that at all. The parts that were good were REALLY good with the Shield stuff in particular knocking it out of the park. Rollins will be solid in his role but Ambrose and Reigns look like superstars already. The ladder match looks great and there are at least five legitimate contenders to win it.

It’s certainly not a perfect show by any means but the bad stuff was kept to a limit tonight. Yeah the stuff with the coffee was dumb and beyond a stretch, but at least the payoff was more than worth it. I have high hopes for Money in the Bank for the first time and above all else: IT LOOKS LIKE THERE WON’T BE A BRIEFCASE THIS YEAR! I couldn’t be happier about that so I’ll give the show bonus points. Really solid show this week that brought the goods.

Results
Seth Rollins b. Dolph Ziggler via DQ when Dean Ambrose interfered
Bad News Barrett b. Dean Ambrose via countout
Sheamus b. Bray Wyatt via DQ when the Wyatt Family interfered
Rusev b. Heath Slater – Accolade
Adam Rose/Summer Rae b. Fandango/Layla – Party Foul to Fandango
Roman Reigns won a battle royal last eliminating Rusev
Paige b. Cameron – PTO
Goldust/Star Dust b. Curtis Axel/Ryback – Diamond Dust to Axel
John Cena b. Kane – Cena pushed Kane over the finish line

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Survivor Series at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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It’s the day of bad luck but things haven’t been that bad in WWE as of late. The big story coming out of Monday is Daniel Bryan being stripped of the WWE Title due to his neck injury, meaning the ladder match at Money in the Bank is now for the title. Allegedly there’s going to be a second ladder match announced for the traditional briefcase, but if they don’t announce something by Monday I can’t picture it happening. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of HHH and Stephanie stripping Bryan of the title before announcing the ladder match for the title.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Shield to open things up. Ambrose says it’s clear that the Authority is trying to stack the deck against them. Well listen up kiddo: they’re flipping the table over and coming for HHH’s throat. As for his former business partner Seth Rollins, his business will be shut down for good. Reigns says Orton better enjoy his vacation because after Roman gets his hands on him, Orton will be on a permanent vacation. Maybe one of them will be the next WWE Champion.

HHH pops up on screen and says there are only a handful of spots in the ladder match and he’s only got one slot available. Therefore, he flips a coin and it’s Ambrose getting a qualifying match later tonight. His opponent: Bray Wyatt. Also, the Wyatts and Reigns will be banned from ringside, and Ambrose is banned from ringside for the next match.

Roman Reigns vs. Bad News Barrett

Non-title. Roman takes him into the corner to start and gets two off a floatover suplex. Barrett fights back with some forearms but gets sent to the floor with a big clothesline as we take a break. Back with Reigns fighting out of a chinlock but missing a charge into the corner, allowing Barrett to hammer away even more. Reigns fights out of another chinlock and hits a Samoan drop to get a breather. Some clotheslines set up the running apron dropkick and Barrett is in trouble. The Superman Punch connects but 3MB breaks up the spear for the DQ at 8:25.

Rating: C. The match was pretty much exactly what it was supposed to be and the ending makes perfect sense. It’s also going to lead to a fitting final night for Mahal and McIntyre as they’re about to be destroyed by Reigns. Also, see how easy it is to protect a champion and avoid an unnecessary loss? Why can’t they do that more often?

Mahal is thrown over the table, McIntyre is speared and Slater is speared out of the air so Reigns can stand tall.

Erick Rowan vs. Jey Uso

This is the second round of singles matches after Jimmy beat Harper on Main Event. Rowan charges to start but is quickly sent to the floor for the big dive. Back in and Jey avoids a splash and hammers away but is easily thrown off the middle rope. A modified side slam (basically a Rock Bottom with the arm around Jey’s waist) gets the pin for Rowan out of nowhere at 1:40.

Bo Dallas vs. R-Truth

Bo dances to Truth’s music for a funny visual. Truth does the pelvic thrust to start and Bo isn’t sure what to make of it. Bo gets thrown down again and is a bit flustered for the first time. He nails a right hand and defends it by saying Truth attacked him. Some knees to the face get two for Bo and it’s off to a cravate. Truth makes a quick comeback with the gordbuster for two but Bo avoids the ax kick. The Bodog makes Bo 7-0 at 2:57, which the announcers treat as something that matters.

Cesaro and Heyman say that Cesaro will be fighting tonight and win by technical knockout when the referee has to stop the match.

Sheamus vs. Cesaro

Non-title. Cesaro takes him into the corner to start but Sheamus fights back with right hands of his own. A kick to the face staggers Sheamus and Cesaro keeps pounding away in the corner. Sheamus blocks a suplex into one of his own though and the Irishman takes over. More big right hands have Sheamus in trouble but he gets belly to backed to change momentum again. Sheamus nails a Cactus Clothesline and we take a break.

Back with Cesaro nailing another knee to the head, only to be sent to the apron for the ten forearms. He’s able to fight out though, so Sheamus just hits him in the face to send it back to the floor. That’s fine with Cesaro as he pulls Sheamus off the apron and down onto the floor. Back in again and Cesaro hits some double stomps for two before bending Sheamus’ back around the ropes. More right hands have Sheamus in trouble but he says bring it on. Cesoar keeps hammering but gets sent back out to the floor.

Back in again and Sheamus hits his running knee lift to set up the ten forearms and the Irish Curse for two. White Noise is countered into Swiss Death for two but Sheamus still says bring it on. Cesaro hits him with every strike he can, only to get ax handled to the face and caught by the rolling fireman’s carry. Cesaro grabs the ropes to avoid the powerslam and counters into a small package with the tights for the pin at 14:40. That’s the same finish (minus the tights) from Payback.

Rating: B-. This was the usual good match between these two but I’m getting a bit tired of seeing them together. I do like the finish carrying over from the last match for the sake of continuity and the lack of a last second Brogue Kick is always a plus. It was entertaining too so it’s hard to really complain about this one.

After look back at the opening segment, Bray Wyatt talks about dreaming of glory as a child. He dreamed of a nice house on a hill with a white picket fence. He dreamed of happiness. Then he woke up and realized he was still stuck in this rotten world just like the rest of it. Abigail heard and told him that he would achieve everything he dreamed of and more. They will chant his name and bow down to him, and that’s the predicament he’s in now. Above that ladder lies his happy anding and his power. Unfortunately for Dean Ambrose, he stands in Bray’s way and will burn. Follow the buzzards.

On Main Event, Layla poured kitty litter and milk on Summer Rae to even the score from Monday.

Adam Rose vs. Fandango

Rose avoids a jump in the corner and gives Fandango a spank. The dancer takes him down and gets two off a suplex, only to have Rose roll away before Fandango can try the guillotine legdrop. Party Foul gets the pin at 1:45.

Post match Rose’s chicken gets in the ring and removes it’s beak to reveal Summer Rae. The catfight is on until Fandango saves his chick. Summer is actually working in this role.

Jack Swagger vs. Big E.

Swagger quickly sends Big E. out to the floor and takes his head off with a clothesline. Back in and Swagger pounds away but gets backdropped over the top and out to the floor. Big E. hits his clotheslines and the belly to belly followed by the Warrior Splash. Lana comes out for a distraction before the Big Ending, allowing Swagger to boot Big E.’s head off. Colter yells at Lana to get rid of her, but the Vader Bomb is countered with the Big Ending for the pin at 2:57. Colter yelling at Lana could lead to something, but so much for the ANGRY Swagger push.

Aksana vs. Alicia Fox

Aksana slaps her and nails some clotheslines to start before a snap suplex gets two. The release spinebuster gets two more but Fox comes back with her northern lights suplex. We hit the chinlock on Aksana followed by something like a snap Fameasser to a kneeling Aksana for the pin at 2:25.

The Raw ReBound looks at Rollins’ explanation.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Bray Wyatt vs. Dean Ambrose

It’s a brawl to start until Dean hits a cross body for two. He rakes Bray’s eyes across the ropes and hits his dropkick against the ropes to knock Bray outside. Ambrose dives over the top rope but gets caught in a release Rock Bottom against the apron. Back from a break with Bray working over the arm.

Ambrose escapes the suplex slam though and hits a DDT to get a breather. The bad arm is sent into the post though and Bray gets two off some headbutts. Off to a nerve hold but Bray misses the running backsplash. Dean goes to the apron but sends Bray into the buckle with one good arm. After fighting off a superplex attempt, Dean jumps into the release Rock Bottom but elbows his way out again.

Bray knocks him into the ropes but Dean bounces off the ropes with a clothesline for two. Ambrose says bring it on and charges at Wyatt in the corner. Bray goes outside but gets taken down by a running suicide dive. Back in and Dean hits his missile dropkick for two but the bulldog driver is easily broken up. Wyatt hits his running cross body but the suplex slam is countered into a small package. Now the bulldog driver connects but Seth Rollins is on the announcers’ table. Dean goes after him but Seth goes into the ring, sending Dean into Sister Abigail for the pin at 14:22.

Rating: B. This was getting good but it never hit that top level. I’m not wild on Bray wanting to be World Champion as he comes off more like a 1992 Cactus Jack, where he should only care about causing chaos rather than being champion. It’s an interesting idea though and Bray being champion wouldn’t be a stretch at this point.

Overall Rating: C+. This was your run of the mill Smackdown: the long matches were good enough, nothing was too terrible and there’s absolutely nothing that you need to see here at all. If you have nothing else to do, Smackdown isn’t the worst way to spend two hours, but you’d be better off throwing on an old show on the Network. That could be the same reaction to the show every week anymore.

Results
Roman Reigns b. Bad News Barrett via DQ when 3MB interfered
Erick Rowan b. Jey Uso – Side slam
Bo Dallas b. R-Truth – Bodog
Cesaro b. Sheamus – Small package
Adam Rose b. Fandango – Party Foul
Big E. b. Jack Swagger – Big Ending
Alicia Fox b. Aksana – Fameasser
Bray Wyatt b. Dean Ambrose – Sister Abigail

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Another day and another review that I don’t remember a reason for. It’s the night after Mind Games and the main story is that Shawn Michaels is still WWF Champion after Vader attacked Shawn for a DQ. Undertaker went after Mankind to continue that feud that will just never die. We start the build to Buried Alive here as well. Let’s get to it.

We get stills of Fake Razor and Fake Diesel attacking Savio Vega last night. Heel JR says he told us so.

Opening sequence.

Intercontinental Title: Marc Mero vs. Farrooq

Title is vacant coming in due to Ahmed Johnson’s injuries. Pat Patterson is introduced as the guest referee to the crowd off camera and Mr. Perfect sits in on commentary. Sable and Sunny are the respective seconds here in a rare occurrence of them being on screen at the same time. Farrooq (still in the blue gladiator outfit) hammers away to start but gets rolled up for a few two counts. An enziguri drops Mero but he avoids a charge and clotheslines Farrooq out to the floor for a BIG flip dive. Back in and a springboard moonsault press gets two for Mero but he gets backdropped to the floor.

Ahmed Johnson calls in to the show and says he’ll be back to win his title. Back in and a powerslam gets two for Farrooq and a middle rope Samoan drop gets the same. Sunny gets in some choking but Sable chases her off, earning Sunny an ejection and a lot of booing. Back with Mero getting two off a backslide but getting clotheslined down with ease. Farrooq stays on the ribs before hitting the chinlock. JR promises to expose Jeff Jarrett tonight, whatever that means.

Mero fights up and nails a clothesline, only to get caught with another quick slam to change momentum. Farrooq goes up top but gets crotched down almost immediately. A top rope hurricanrana puts Farrooq down for two and a double clothesline drops both guys. Farrooq comes out and gets in a slap fight with Sable, allowing Mero to take Sunny’s purse from Farrooq and knock him silly, setting up the Wild Thing (shooting star) for the pin and the title.

Rating: C. Nothing special to see here but the Wild Thing was still a really high spot at the time. No it wasn’t a clean pin, but Mero winning the title is a good idea at the end of the day. He was a solid worker and getting much better around this time, but an injury would shut him down pretty horribly.

Mr. Perfect gives him the title post match.

We flash back over a year to see Roadie cost Jeff Jarrett the Intercontinental Title to Shawn Michaels at In Your House 2.

Mero and some low level friends celebrate in the locker room.

Vince narrates a video from In Your House 2 of Jarrett singing his country song, but something fishy went down. However, new video shows that he was LIP SYNCHING! The real singer is revealed next week.

Body Donnas vs. British Bulldog/Owen Hart

Owen and the Bulldog won the Tag Team Titles last night and have Clarance Mason (attorney) with them but this is non-title. Owen spins out of Zip’s wristlock to start as Mason swears he didn’t cheat Jim Cornette out of anything last night. A rollup gets two on Zip and some ECW guys (including Taz) jump the railing for some attention. We take a break and come back with Bulldog slamming Skip down before it’s off to Owen. That goes nowhere so Bulldog tries a gorilla press, only to be rolled up for a quick two.

Jim Cornette comes in on a split screen and yells about Mason cheating him out of the contract with Owen and Bulldog. Owen goes up but his top rope splash hits knees and the not hot tag brings in Zip to clean house. Skip and Bulldog fight to the floor before a Rocket Launcher gets two on Owen. Not that it matters as Hart comes back with a spinwheel kick and the Sharpshooter for the submission from Zip.

Rating: C-. This was fine though I don’t remember the Body Donnas being faces at all. I do however remember Clarance Mason vs. Jim Cornette being a rather dull feud that went nowhere, though Owen and Bulldog were awesome champions. The match was nothing special but I was surprised that the non-champions got in so much offense.

We see some stills of Mankind vs. Shawn from last night. Sid going after Vader sets up their match at Buried Alive and of course the main event is Undertaker vs. Mankind.

Undertaker is in a graveyard and talks about the betrayal of Paul Bearer. Last night he played mind games with Mankind and Bearer, and at Buried Alive he’ll get his revenge.

Doc Hendrix can’t find Diesel and Razor.

Steve Austin sits in on commentary.

Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. The Stalker

Stalker is Barry Windham as a paramilitary character. He’s billed from the environment, which should tell you all you need to know about the character. Stalker takes him down with an easy armdrag before driving in elbows to the shoulder. A hammerlock slam keeps Helmsley in trouble but he comes back with some knees to the ribs to escape.

They head outside for nothing of note as Mr. Perfect comes out to watch. He’s feuding with Helmsley and stealing all his chicks around this time and the distraction lets Stalker slam him down again as we take a break. Back with Helmsley poking Stalker in the eye and hammering away in the corner.

Stalker escapes a sleeper with a jawbreaker as Austin wants to know why Stalker has so much paint on his face when everyone knows who he is. That’s a good question actually. A headbutt has Helmsley in trouble and a delayed suplex gets no cover. Perfect goes after Helmsley’s chick again as Stalker gets slammed face first onto the mat. The distraction allows Stalker to hit the superplex for the pin.

Rating: D+. Austin summed up the entire problem with Stalker in that one line: it wasn’t hard to tell who he was if you had been watching wrestling for almost any amount of time. The match was nothing all that great either with Helmsley not having any idea what he was doing yet and not being very good at all. It didn’t help that Windham had nothing at this point either.

Mankind and Bearer want to know why Undertaker was in their casket last night. Last night was Undertaker’s gravest mistake, even though Vader had already cost him the match. To be fair though, Mankind was never one to be all that objective.

JR is ready to bring out Razor and Diesel but gets interrupted by a Buried Alive ad.

Back in the arena and Ross says he has no loyalty to anyone but himself. In 1993 he was brought into the company and put into a toga after leaving the Atlanta Falcons. Then he carried the broadcast at the first King of the Ring but Vince fired him for being too good when he had Bell’s Palsy. This was one of the first times that Vince was identified as the owner. Then he was brought back when Raw needed a commentator for half the money. The fans are barely responding to this at all. JR brags about all the talent he’s brought in and brings out Fake Razor and no one cares. Savio Vega jumps Ramon to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Oh my goodness was this year bad for the WWF. It’s not so much that the wrestling was horrible but the stories were terrible. The main story on this show was JR bringing back Fake Razor which bombed horribly because it looked like a bad Razor Ramon costume instead of Scott Hall. The Title match wasn’t bad but with almost no big stars here and nothing interesting for the most part, this was a rather horrible show.

I’ve already done the next week’s show. Here it is in case you’re interested: