Official CM Punk Plan Made By Chicago Fans

This is a real thing.

 

punk

 

The imagine isn’t great but if you can’t read it, here’s a slightly better picture.

 

http://www.rspwfaq.net/2014/03/tonights-chicago-objectives.html

 

Then, this might happen tonight:

1. Punk comes out and puts over Chicago as the greatest city ever.

2. A new world championship is made and Bray Wyatt vs. Dolph Ziggler square off for it at Wrestlemania.

3. Daniel Bryan is inserted into the title match at Wrestlemania and guaranteed to win.

4. Batista, HHH, Orton and Stephanie are crushed under rampaging camels, leaving only Bryan vs. Punk for the main event of Wrestlemania.

5. Every fan gets a big bag of money.

Fans after the show:

“Screw this company. Why are they wasting all this stuff on ONE SHOW? Do they not want to make money anymore???”

“You’re going next time right?”

“Sorry for making you wait so long. I was just buying 15 Punk items. Of course I’ll be there and do the VIP experience. It’s awesome going.”




NXT Arrival: Why I Watch NXT

NXT Arrival
Date: February 27, 2014
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton, William Regal

It’s the biggest night in the history of NXT as we are LIVE, I believe for the first time in modern NXT. This is the first live wrestling airing on the WWE Network so it should be a good test of the technology. The main events are Sami Zayn vs. Cesaro in a rematch of the match of the year and Bo Dallas defending his NXT Championship against Adrian Neville in a ladder match. Also of note: this will be partially going head to head with Impact Wrestling tonight and going forward. Let’s get to it.

HHH opens us up to what sounds like the Natural Disasters’ old music.

We get a new intro with shots of a lot of the wrestlers, including helpful name graphics for new fans.

Sami Zayn vs. Cesaro

One fall to a finish in a rematch from the NXT match of the year in 2013. Sami has been fighting a knee injury lately. The video is holding up perfectly well so far and they’ve fancied the arena up a bit for the special show. Cesaro shoves Sami down a few times to start as the fans aren’t sure who they like better. Sami takes him down in a front facelock but Cesaro counters his hurricanrana attempt into the Swing, only to have Sami kick him away. Cesaro bails to the floor and gets caught by a nice flip dive. The fans think this is awesome.

Back in and Sami tries a high cross body but dives into a tilt-a-whirl slam for a close two count. They head outside again with Cesaro in full control and choking across the barricade. Cesaro takes him back inside so he can throw Sami outside again and ram him into the barricade. Into the ring again for a two count but Cesaro throws him outside one more time. Cesaro goes after the leg but gets pulled face first into the post for his troubles.

Sami goes outside and tries to dive through the ropes around the post (as in he starts on the floor, dives over two ropes in the corner and lands on the floor) like he did in the first match but dives into an uppercut instead. Now the leg is wrapped around the post and Cesaro stomps away in the corner before cranking on the knee even more. A knee drop to Sami’s bad knee gets two and Cesaro stalks Zayn to mess with his head.

Cesaro takes him down with a dragon screw leg whip and it’s off to another leg lock. We get a WE THE PEOPLE from Cesaro but the fans counter with an OLE chant. Another leg whip puts Sami down and he misses an enziguri, setting up a half crab from Cesaro. Sami finally gets the ropes and sends Cesaro outside, only to have his slingshot dive caught in another tilt-a-whirl slam on the ramp. Sami BARELY beats the count in at nine and grabs an exploder suplex to send Cesaro into the corner.

Sami grabs a Blue Thunder Bomb out of nowhere for two followed followed by a Koji Clutch of all things. Cesaro powers out of it and rolls around into an old Brock Lock (Cesaro bends the knee around his neck) but Zayn dives for the bottom rope. The Swing is countered into a rollup for two but Cesaro gets it on the second try. Only ten revolutions this time though and a running uppercut gets two but Sami reverses into a crucifix for two of his own.

A HARD double stomp gets two on Sami but he’s still able to block the suplex from the apron. He kicks Cesaro in the head with the good leg and sits him on the top rope, but Cesaro tries to counter the hurricanrana into a Riccola Bomb, only to have Sami counter THAT into the hurricanrana. The running kick in the corner gets a VERY close two on Cesaro and both guys are spent.

It’s Cesaro up first and he drops Sami with a stiff uppercut. A second one has Cesaro telling Sami to stay down as even Regal is calling this uncomfortable. There’s a THIRD uppercut and Sami looks dead. Sami somehow gets up and it turns into a slugout until Zayn grabs a suplex out of nowhere. He tries to get a running start but Cesaro stops him with a boot to the face.

The Neutralizer is countered into a hurricanrana for two and a sunset bomb gets the same. Swiss Death only gets one with Sami shooting up to scare Cesaro half to death. Cesaro goes BEAST MODE and takes Sami’s head off with a discus uppercut before a jumping Neutralizer is good for the pin at 23:38.

Rating: A. Good grief I’m exhausted already. This was a heck of a wrestling match with two guys beating the tar out of each other for the better part of half an hour. Cesaro winning makes the most sense due to how hard he’s been pushed on WWE recently, but it’s clear that Zayn is ready for the WWE. Granted he has been for about six months now. Great match and worth checking out if you want to see a fight that makes the people care.

Cesaro celebrates as Zayn remembers what planet he’s on. Sami looks up at him and Cesaro pulls him up for a hug and a big cheer from the crowd.

Video on Mojo Rawley. He doesn’t get hyped. He STAYS hyped.

CJ Parker vs. Mojo Rawley

Parker has recently turned heel, blaming everyone for not cheering him when he’s just trying to make the world a better place to live. Parker tries to use his speed against the much stronger Rawley but gets caught in a big backdrop for two. Mojo gets caught with some shots to the ribs and Parker puts on his mean face to stomp away in the corner. It’s amazing how the place just dies when Parker is out there. Rawley shrugs off a bunch of left hands in the corner and hits a splash, followed by a seated senton (Hyperdrive) for the pin at 3:27.

Rating: D+. This was a glorified squash and they couldn’t have picked a better person to take the loss. This was treated as a huge win for Rawley who has a lot of potential bu spends too much of his matches on defense. Parker just isn’t working but the heel turn is far beter for him. He’ll be better when he gets to cut some eco-friendly promos.

Video on Emma, who is very bubbly.

Video on Ascension, who have dominated the tag division for months now. They’re kind of like a goth Demolition.

NXT Tag Titles: Ascension vs. ???

There’s an open challenge from Ascension tonight and their opponents are…….TOO COOL??? That’s a rather bizarre choice to put it mildly. Viktor slaps Sexay down to start and doesn’t approve of the dancing. Off to Konor for a hard legdrop and even harder shoulder blocks. Viktor slams Sexay down and puts on a chinlock before driving in elbows. I think the fans say they want water and then gum. Sexay finally fights up and makes the hot tag to Scotty whose offense has very little effect. He gets the bulldog and loads up the Worm, only to have Viktor pop up and run him over. Fall of Man ends Scotty at 6:40.

Rating: D. This was WAY too long and Too Cool was the totally wrong choice for the challengers here. They’re a fun team who had a month long title reign FOURTEEN YEARS AGO. This is the problem with nostalgia: it’s fun to push every now and then, but when it’s pushed over teams that deserve the shots more, you’ve got a problem.

Video on Paige, who won the first NXT Womens Title last year but hasn’t been around in a long time. The idea is she’s the anti-Diva, meaning she dresses in black and is more about attitude than looks, even though she’s rather pretty.

Womens Title: Emma vs. Paige

Before the match though, here’s Stephanie McMahon because what would we do without her? The fans tell her that she’s still got it but she says she never lost it. I can’t argue that actually. She says this is the future and adds nothing at all for the most part. Emma has been #1 contender for SIX MONTHS but is just now getting her shot. That’s even worse when you consider Paige has been champion for about seven and a half months. Both girls are popular but they don’t like each other.

Paige gets right in her face but Emma takes her down and its a fight early. Emma gets kicked in the ribs but she reverses the Paige Turner into a backslide for two. They fight over a backslide but Paige counters a slingshot into a cradle for two. Paige slams her down and puts on a hard chinlock. Back up and Emma tries a rollup but gets taken into the corner for some hard elbows to the face.

Emma counters a kick and hooks the slingshot but Paige breaks up the Emma Lock. Paige heads to the apron and fires off knees to the chest, only to miss a charge in the corner. The Dilemma sets up the Emma Sandwich (running crossbody to a seated Paige in the corner) for two. Emma cranks on Paige’s arms with her feet in the champ’s back and Paige is in big trouble. Paige gets flipped down onto her face but avoids a charge in the corner.

Emma sends her face first into the buckle but has to fight out of a superplex. A sunset flip into a sitout bomb (fans: “BETTER THAN BATISTA!”) gets two on the champion and both girls are spent. Emma tells her to give up but gets slapped in the face, setting up the Paige Turner for a VERY close two. Paige is stunned but puts on something like an Edgecator (Scorpion Deathlock without stepping over) before grabbing a double chickenwing AT THE SAME TIME and lifting Emma up. There’s no way Emma is getting out of that so she taps at 12:55. SICK looking hold.

Rating: B-. I can’t get over that hold at the end. I also can’t get over Paige actually keeping the title here as she’s been the only champion and you would think they would give the belt to the new sweetheart on Raw. That being said, Paige looked AWESOME out there and will likely in WWE very soon.

They hug it out as well, even though Emma looks mad.

Video on Adrian Neville, talking about his love of adrenaline rushes.

Video on NXT.

Xavier Woods vs. Tyler Breeze

No match as Alexander Rusev runs in to massacre both guys. The video crashed but through refreshing I see Rusev holding Woods in the Accolade while Lana talks trash for him.

Video on Bo Dallas.

We recap Neville vs. Dallas. Bo has been champion for about seven months and only held the title from Neville through interference. Tonight it’s a ladder match for the big blowoff.

NXT Title: Bo Dallas vs. Adrian Neville

Remember it’s a ladder match so here’s Shawn Michaels to introduce the festivities. The fans chant ONE MORE MATCH and he says he hears that a lot. He’s happy being fat and out of shape though so it’s not likely. The fans chant H-B-Shizzle and Shawn wants that on a shirt. Fans: “YES! YES! YES!” Shawn says they’re throwing him off because he doesn’t have to do this that often. He has insight on ladder matches, and if you’d like to know it, you can go out and buy his Mr. Wrestlemania DVD because he’s got two kids to put through college. He says this is about stepping into greatness and we’re ready to go.

Bo immediately goes for the ladder but Neville makes a save and kicks him into the corner. A quick missile dropkick looks to set up the Red Arrow (corkscrew shooting star) but Bo rolls away before Adrian can jump. Bo grabs the arm and the girls scream before he ties Neville’s leg into the ropes. The champion goes for a ladder but Adrian hits a baseball slide to send the ladder into him. A nice plancha puts Dallas down and the ladder goes into the ring.

Bo keeps Adrian from getting inside and sends him spine first into the steps to take over. He loads up a ladder but Adrian ducks the shot and backdrops Dallas onto the ramp. Neville goes up the ladder but Bo throws another ladder at him to take Adrian down. Bo sets up the ladder over Neville but Adrian is able to push it up and kick Dallas down in a nice power display. Now it’s Bo shoving a ladder down to send Adrian crashing and both guys are in trouble.

They both try to pick up the same ladder but Bo drives it into Adrian’s ribs in the corner. Bo tries to catapult Neville into the ladder but Adrian escapes and takes him down with a tornado DDT. They ram heads and go down, but a ladder falls and hits Adrian square in the head in a SICK looking collision. Dallas hammers away in the corner but can’t bulldog Adrian down onto a ladder.

The champ gets sent into a ladder wedged in the corner and Neville kicks him in the face. He goes up for the Red Arrow but Dallas pops up and shoves Adrian down to the floor. Bo goes for the belt but Neville springboards over him in a Shelton Benjamin style move. The ladder goes down but they land on their feet with Bo buckle bombing him into a ladder. Adrian kicks a ladder back into Bo and slams him onto the same ladder, setting up the Red Arrow to crush Bo against the steel. Dallas rolls to the floor and Neville goes up to grab the title at 15:46.

Rating: B. It wasn’t a classic and there have been better ladder matches but my goodness this rocked. There was almost no doubt that the title was changing and Dallas’ way too long reign was ending at this show but it was hardly a bad way to get there. Neville doesn’t come off like a long term solution on top but he’s a good choice to win the belt on this huge show.

A long celebration ends the show with John Cena applauding from the crowd.

Overall Rating: A-. This is exaclty what this show needed to be with every big match delivering more than well enough. Apparently there were some stream issues for the main event but mine was working perfectly fine so maybe I was just lucky. The opener is an instant classic and the title win made it something historic so this worked all around. The crowd was having a blast and it was the fun kind of show that NXT can pull off like no other. Hopefully they don’t have WWE invading it every week and we can get back to normal. Great show either way and well worth checking out.

Results

Cesaro b. Sami Zayn – Neutralizer

Mojo Rawley b. CJ Parker – Hyperdrive

Ascension b. Too Cool – Fall of Man to Hotty

Paige b. Emma – Scorpion Cross Lock

Adrian Neville b. Bo Dallas – Neville pulled down the title

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Summerslam at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:




More In Depth Thoughts On Monday Night Raw – February 24, 2014

This was one of those special shows that sticks with you for awhile after it’s over and that’s exactly what WWE needed right now.

 

To begin with, Hulk Hogan returned to announce that he will be hosting Wrestlemania XXX. I know a lot of people haven’t been pleased with Hogan due to all of the nonsense in TNA, but at the end of the day he has to be at a major Wrestlemania. Yes he’s old, not in ring shape and can’t remember a basic line like WWE Network, but HE’S HULK HOGAN. He was the hero to a lot of children over a generation including myself. He’ll be around in the coming weeks and will probably use his powers before then so things will be fine. It’s a great moment and just felt right.

 

Next up we had the first of the How To guides for the Network. There were several of them last night but they were far less obnoxious than the WWE Apps ones. Also you have to expect these as it’s actually a big deal for a change instead of the stupid App. This was fine and they’ll be fine over the upcoming months.

 

Batista and Del Rio had a rematch from Sunday and surprisingly enough, Batista got pinned. Yeah it was off a distraction, but it was his second singles match back in the company. The crowd still didn’t want to see Batista, but at least the promo after the match gave signs of hope. Batista isn’t going to work as a face and at least the company seems to have caught on to that idea. They’re not going to do a heel vs. heel title match though, leaving a few distinct possibilities for Wrestlemania.

 

They could turn Orton, but he’s come off as such a spineless coward when dealing with the Authority that I don’t think it’s going to work. The other big option is to add someone else to the match to make it a triple threat. The only two serious options are Punk and Bryan, but Daniel seems to be locked into a HHH match and Punk might not even be on the show. For the life of me I can’t imagine Batista and Orton getting a one on one match, but stranger things have happened. I can’t think of any at the moment but I’m sure they have.

 

Big E. survived against Cesaro but it was a good example of a match where both guys looked good. It also looked to set up the Real Americans split due to Swagger costing Cesaro a potential win (emphasis on the word potential, as Cesaro was going to set up the Neutralizer but hadn’t knocked Big E. out yet). Cesaro needs to beat Swagger at Wrestlemania and split from Colter, but it would only destroy Swagger even more. He needs to do something but that’s been the case for years.

 

Cena and the Wyatts were up next in a match that we’ve known was coming for at least a month now. The storyline coming in seems to be a (fake) knee injury for Cena which is a basic idea that has been done before but still works wonders if done right. Cena vs. the Wyatts is going to depend on how serious John takes it. If he treats them like the monsters they are and acts cautious but serious he’ll be fine. On the other hand, if he treats them as goofy guys who wear weird close and have insane hair, the feud is going to come off as a joke, even if Wyatt wins. Thankfully it was Serious Cena on Monday so I’m cautiously optimistic.

 

The interesting thing here though is how the WWE has kind of booked themselves into a corner. After Sunday, the logical match would seem to be Shield vs. Wyatts II in a gimmick match (elimination tag maybe?) but instead we’re getting Cena vs. Wyatt. Now that being said, the singles match will be fine but it’s not the match that the people seem to be clamoring for. Wyatt beating Cena on the biggest stage of them all will be great for his career but it’s not great for short term booking.

 

Christian vs. Sheamus was fine, but it’s clear that Christian is not going to be anything more than he is right now and that his time is winding down. The match wasn’t bad but Sheamus was carrying him for the most part. I’m not sure where these two go at Wrestlemania, but there’s a chance the two of them will have a match that no one wants to see.

 

Ambrose and Reigns having an argument would seem to foreshadow a match at Wrestlemania, but I’m hoping Reigns doesn’t get the title. He’s too good for that kind of a burial.

 

I’m glad we got Bryan vs. Kane out of the way. Those two have been in a story for over a year and a half now and they needed to have a blowoff match. I didn’t buy the idea that it was happening at Wrestlemania and having it here on Raw was the right call. Bryan got the pin with the running knee and then challenged HHH to a match at Wrestlemania. No it isn’t the title match, but it makes the most sense with the story they’ve been telling. Believe it or not the best move would actually be Bryan beating HHH for the title, but that’s opening up a can of worms that isn’t worth the payoff.

 

One more note: get the undershirt off Kane. He looks like Marlon Brando from Streetcar Named Desire.

 

Emma and Summer Rae….happened. That’s really the only way to describe it. Emma is getting better but Santino continues to take the focus off of her. Why is she stuck in this dancers feud when AJ is desperate for ANY competition? If nothing else they’ve got Emma in her ring gear, which is always going to get a better pop than being mostly covered up like she’s been since debuting.

 

As I saw in another review: the Usos and Outlaws need to watch the Hart Foundation vs. the Bolsheviks from Wrestlemania VI. Thankfully the Usos getting the titles seems to still be happening.

 

Bray and Roman had their singles match and it ended the only way it could have. It wasn’t a classic or anything but it was a match in the last hour of a huge show in Wisconsin. Give them a build with an atmosphere on a bigger stage and the quality goes up. Reigns needs more ring time on his own though.

 

That brings us to the big ending of the show. Again, Lesnar vs. Undertaker was pretty much set in stone months ago but the match was still awesome. I’d like to remind you of something: HE STABBED HIM WITH THE PEN. For the first time in years Undertaker is the aggressor in a feud and that’s an idea I can get behind. It might have been seventeen years ago, but go back and watch his stuff from the Attitude Era. Undertaker is at his best when he just starts breaking stuff and it’s even better when he breaks them with people’s bodies. I’m not sure if Undertaker can keep up with Lesnar’s physical style, but the build is going to be fun.

 

Raw this week was supposed to be a big show and it worked like a charm. At the end of the show I was ready for Wrestlemania for the first time this year and that’s exactly what it was supposed to do. There are still five weeks to adjust some things and the main event is still up in the air, but the rest of the card looks solid from here. It looks more like Wrestlemania XIX than Wrestlemania XVII, but that’s not the worst thing in the world.

 

One of the most interesting things last night was the amount of ring time the matches got. We had four matches break fourteen minutes and another that got ten. There were almost no recaps or stupid backstage segments and the show worked far better. I’m not saying there’s no place for a backstage bit here and there, but we don’t need to see these long drawn out segments to reenforce stuff that’s already been made.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Summerslam at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

 




Wrestler of the Day – February 17: Shelton Benjamin

We get ready to fly today with Shelton Benjamin.

Shelton was an All-American wrestler at the University of Minnesota along with a more famous wrestler named Brock Lesnar. The two would both join the WWF in 2000 and be assigned to OVW where they would be put in a tag team called the Minnesota Stretching Crew. Here’s a match from Christmas Chaos 2001.

Johnny Spade/Sly Scraper vs. Brock Lesnar/Shelton Benjamin

See what I mean about guys you might be surprised to see here? Lesnar and Benjamin were known as the Minnesota Stretching Crew and a handful of people are smiling at that reference. Scraper is someone you may remember as Sylvester Terkay. Spade likes to talk a lot but never was anything special. John Morrison would eventually use the name Johnny Spade but they’re definitely not the same guy.

Brock and Shelton are brand new here and this is their biggest match ever according to Cornette. Spade spits at Shelton and something tells me that’s not going to go well for him. You can barely see anything as the lighting is terrible, but like I said that wasn’t something you could expect there. Both Shelton and Brock have under a year of experience.

Benjamin shows off early and gets a slick headscissors to Scraper. Yeah Shelton’s debut was in November of 2000. Shelton gets a kick which busts Scraper open. Brock is in tights like Angle wears which is odd to see. Nip up by Brock as he destroys Spade just because he can. There’s that belly to belly of his. All Minnesotans so far.

Spade sends Shelton into the ropes and Scraper pulls the top rope down to shift the momentum. It’s amazing how calm Cornette is during this and how smoothly he says everything he talks about. Modified What’s Up to Shelton. Scraper looks like Bruiser Brody. How weird is it to see Brock and Shelton as completely brand new rookies? Spade and Scraper use a wheelbarrow splash to crush Shelton a bit more but Brock makes the save.

Both Shelton and Spade go for cross bodies at the same time and here comes Brock and Scraper. Big tilt-a-whirl slam to Scraper and a double Rock Bottom has Scraper in trouble. Spade saves the pin as everything goes crazy. Spade tries a monkey flip on Shelton but Shelton just flips over and lands on his feet. SICK superkick from Benjamin takes Spade’s head off.

We have three minutes left and the camera goes over to the corner where Brock is up top. He throws out a SHOOTING STAR PRESS! HOLY FREAKING GOODNESS that was awesome. Since OVW isn’t that smart though, it doesn’t end the match as Spade saves. That was incredible. Shelton throws out a 450 to end it even though we don’t see it. Look up that Shooting Star though as it’s something that has to be seen to be believed.

Rating: C+. Basic formula tag match here as Cornette knows how to book a show perfectly. Starting with a pretty fast paced tag match is a great way to get the crowd going and that Shooting Star didn’t hurt anything. Brock was scary good and couldn’t have been wrestling more than 6 months at this point. They were booking Shelton as the star of the team but obviously that didn’t exactly wind up being the case.

Like many other OVW guys, Shelton would wrestle dark matches on WWE shows, including this one from June 3, 2002 against the Prototype, who would debut under his real name very soon: John Cena.

Prototype vs. Shelton Benjamin

John is billed from Los Angeles and is wearing purple and gold in a nice touch. Cena’s hair is long enough that it’s hanging from his head and flaps around when he turns. Shelton looks like he always has. Fast start with Cena getting two off a rollup but walking into an armbar. Shelton hits a Stinger Splash in the corner but Cena avoids the second one and takes over. Cena is the heel here.

Some clotheslines get two and forearms to the back get the same on Shelton. It’s so strange seeing Cena as just a guy out there. A nice delayed vertical suplex gets two on Shelton and some nice applause. Cena scores with a powerslam and puts on a chinlock while demanding the referee ask if Shelton gives up. Benjamin fights up and hits a spinebuster followed by the Dragon Whip for the pin and a nice reaction.

Rating: C+. For a dark match between two guys straight out of developmental, this was a very nice little match. Cena looked like he knew what he was doing out there and Shelton got to show off his athletics. The fans approved of both guys and the match was entertaining enough. Both guys clearly had futures at this stuff.

Shelton would debut on the main roster in early 2003 with a new partner named Charlie Haas. They would comprise Team Angle and quickly captured the Smackdown Tag Titles, which they would defend at Wrestlemania XIX.

Smackdown Tag Titles: Los Guerreros vs. Chris Benoit/Rhyno vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team

Haas and Benjamin are defending here. This is Benoit’s reward for having the match of the year against Angle two months earlier, followed by a feud with the freaking FBI while Kevin Nash got world title shots on PPV. I’m sure HHH has NOTHING to do with this right? It’s a big brawl to start until we get down to Benoit vs. Guerrero for a chop off. They collide in the middle of the ring with both guys going down. Rhyno comes in to face Eddie and gets two off a powerslam.

Off to Shelton who pounds Rhyno down before hitting an elbow to the face for two. Off to Haas for a double tag team by the champions on Rhyno. Rhyno throws Haas around with ease and it’s off to Benoit for more chops in the corner. A snap suplex gets two as does its belly to back cousin. Back to Rhyno vs. Benjamin as the announcers talk about Haas and Benjamin having stage fright.

Eddie comes in and dropkicks Rhyno down before it’s back to Benoit for more chopping on his fellow dead guy. Eddie snapmares him down and loads up the Frog Splash, only to have Benoit run over to the corner for some crotching and a superplex. Guerrero comes right back with a brainbuster for two as Haas breaks up the cover again. Off to Chavo who fires off some fast clotheslines to the champions, only to get caught in Rolling Germans by Benoit.

Benjamin comes in off a blind tag and superkicks Chris down for two. Eddie tags himself in and collides with Benoit to put both guys down. Shelton comes in to work on Benoit some more and a legdrop gets two. Eddie breaks it up with a Frog Splash but Chavo tags himself in, only to be suplexed down by Haas. Rhyno comes in for some Gores including one to Chavo, but Benjamin comes in (I have no idea if he was legal) and steals the retaining pin on Chavo.

Rating: C. The match was fine but it had no business being on Wrestlemania. This could have been on any given episode of Smackdown and no one would have noticed the difference. Rhyno and Benoit were just thrown together while the Guerreros were a regular team and former champions. Not bad here but not Wrestlemania worthy.

The team would gain and lose the titles multiple times over the next year before being split up by the Draft. Benjamin went to Raw and was put in a feud with HHH of all people, facing him in his first match on Raw on March 29, 2004.

HHH vs. Shelton Benjamin

The Game takes him into the corner to start and patronizes him a little bit. Shelton easily gets HHH on the mat and rides him amateur style before giving HHH a big smile. A Shelton chant starts up before they tell HHH that he tapped out at Wrestlemania. Benjamin nips up to stop a charging Game but almost gets caught in the Pedigree. HHH shows him how close that was but gets caught in a backslide for an even closer two. Shelton shows HHH how close THAT was and HHH is mad.

An armbar takes HHH down and an armdrag does it again. The Dragon Whip takes HHH’s head off for two and it’s back to the armbar. Cue Flair to ringside as Shelton is thrown through the ropes. This brings out Benoit to back Flair up as we take a break. Back with Shelton powering out of a top wristlock and going back to the armbar. HHH fights up and scores with the running knee to the face before sending Shelton shoulder first into the post twice in a row.

Flair sneaks over but doesn’t touch Shelton, allowing HHH to get two off a neckbreaker. Things slow down until Shelton scores with some right hands, only to be caught in the sleeper. Shelton rams HHH into the buckle to escape and puts on a sleeper of his own. HHH quickly counters with a belly to back suplex and goes up, only to jump into Shelton’s feet to put both guys down. A clothesline puts HHH on the floor and a clothesline off the apron takes his head off.

Back in and a top rope clothesline gets two more as the crowd is losing its collective mind. Shelton pounds away in the corner but gets dropped face first on the buckle. JR says that HHH’s spot calling is trash talk in a nice cover up. HHH charges into a powerslam for two and a rollup gets the same. Flair gets in a cheap shot but Benoit goes after him. HHH looks at the two of them, allowing Shelton to hit a Stinger Splash and roll up the Game for the shocking upset.

Rating: B-. This was a nice, long match that made Benjamin look like a star. Make no mistake about it: the ending wasn’t a fluke with HHH dominating him the entire time before getting caught. Shelton hung with him the entire match and had HHH in trouble for a long stretch. Good match here and Shelton looked great.

Shelton would actually beat HHH again the next week by countout and go on a huge roll, only to break his hand and be put on the shelf for a month. He would come back at Taboo Tuesday, having won the poll to face Intercontinental Champion Chris Jericho.

Intercontinental Title: Shelton Benjamin vs. Chris Jericho

This was just after Shelton had come to Raw and beaten HHH in three matches but got hurt. This is his big return. Jericho gets backdropped over the top and might have hurt his back. He was in a big funk at this point as he had no direction whatsoever. He also had the medium length hair and it looked horrible. Running enziguri gets two and the Canadian takes over.

He works on the back as there’s not a lot of direction to this at all. The crowd being painfully small isn’t helping much either, but that could have something to do with the show being on a Tuesday night. Both guys work on the others’ back with Jericho hitting a backbreaker and Benjamin hitting a top rope suplex. I love the Dragon Whip. Lawler suggests that if the bookers had anything to do with it then this match may never have happened.

Lionsault misses but he actually crashes on it in a thing I’m not used to doing. Shelton hits a nice diving clothesline off the top but the Stinger Splash misses. This is getting better but the crowd doesn’t seem to care. Lionsault hits this time but of course it only gets two. Jericho goes up but jumps into the T-Bone to give Shelton the title. Ross and Lawler seem to be the most excited though. So much for that idea. Is there anyone Jericho won’t put over? Shelton would hold the title until June which is the longest title reign since Rock in 97.

Rating: B-. Pretty good match here as Jericho wasn’t prepared for Shelton so he had to do his usual stuff which didn’t work because Shelton knew what to prepare for. The crowd is pretty weak here and it’s not a good sign for the rest of the show. This was a good push for Shelton, even though nothing really ever came of it as he has more untapped potential than anyone in a long time.

Shelton would hold the title for the longest reign in over seven years. During the reign he would enter the Gold Rush Tournament for a World Title shot. His first round match was on May 2, 2005 against a mystery opponent.

Gold Rush Tournament First Round: Shelton Benjamin vs. Shawn Michaels

Shawn is back in the world title hunt after going after Muhammad Hassan for a few months. Shelton is on fire at this point so this is going to be great. They immediately hit the mat and Shelton dominates as you would expect him to. Shawn grabs a hammerlock and they hit the mat again. Shelton rides him again and Shawn has to head to the ropes to get a break.

Shelton takes him back to the mat but Shawn easily gets back up. A cradle gets two for Shawn out of nowhere and it’s followed by a forearm to take over. Shelton comes back with a clothesline and both guys go to the floor. We take a break and come back with Shelton countering a belly to back superplex into a cross body off the top but he can’t cover. Batista is watching in the back.

Shelton hits a Samoan Drop and both guys are down again. Things speed up and Shelton gets two off a backbreaker. Shawn hits the forearm and nips up, but Shelton nips up a second later, freaking Shawn out. We get a fast paced pinfall reversal sequence and Shawn takes Shelton down with a hard chop. Benjamin comes back with the Stinger Splash in the corner but the T-Bone is broken up.

Sweet Chin Music is caught and the Dragon Whip gets two. That sounded GREAT and JR’s commentary is only making this better. Shelton loads up a superplex but Shawn knocks him down and hits the elbow for two. Another Chin Music attempt is countered by a high kick for a VERY close two. Shelton jumps from the mat to the top rope and hits a spinning clothesline for another two. This is getting better and better with each kickout. Shelton gets sent to the apron and tries a springboard, but he jumps right into the Sweet Chin Music in an incredible spot. Shelton is DEAD and Shawn advances. That never gets old.

Rating: A+. It’s my favorite match ever. What grade did you expect me to give it? Also, this probably furthers Shawn’s record of most A+ matches for a single guy held by Shawn. The last few minutes of this has some of the best near falls on TV that I’ve ever seen. This is easily one of the best TV matches of all time. The only issue I have with it: what was Shelton going for at the end other than diving into the kick? I’ve never gotten that. The idea here was simple: Shawn was fighting himself from ten years ago. That’s very interesting and it worked like a masterpiece here.

Shelton would drop the title to Carlito in June and start slipping a bit. Shawn would tell him to get it together, leading to Shelton’s Mama debuting and turning Shelton heel. He would get the Intercontinental Title back in February and appear in the MITB match at Wrestlemania 22. Rob Van Dam would win the briefcase, but Shelton wasn’t done yet, challenging RVD to a winner take all match at Backlash 2006.

Money in the Bank Briefcase/Intercontinental Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Shelton Benjamin

It’s winner take all with Rob holding the case and Shelton holding the title. Shelton takes him to the mat to start and rides Van Dam a bit. The fans are completely behind RVD, namely because this is during the opening part of Shelton’s heel run. Shelton backflips out of a wristlock to show that he can hang with Rob in all of the high flying stuff. RVD gets his rolling cradle for two and Shelton bails to the corner.

Shelton keeps getting frustrated and heads to the floor for a breather. Back in and Benjamin pounds him down and fires off some forearms. Rob will have none of that and kicks Shelton down. The champ (Shelton) bails to the floor again to avoid Rolling Thunder so Rob dives to the floor to take him out. Shelton runs back in and hits a sunset bomb to the floor to take over again.

Back in and Benjamin works over the back before hooking a chinlock with a knee in the spine. Rob quickly escapes that but gets caught by a knee lift for two. Back to the chinlock which might be a choke. Not that it matters as Rob makes the rope. Rob fights up and tries Rolling Thunder but Shelton catches him in a Samoan Drop in a SWEET counter. They go up and Rob knocks him off the top, but Shelton JUMPS up the corner (not runs the corner. He JUMPED from the mat to the top rope and superplexes Rob down for two.

Off to a kind of rear naked choke which is broken up again. A spin kick takes down Shelton as do some clotheslines. Van Dam kicks him down a few more times and FINALLY hits Rolling Thunder for two. See? Build it up, then pay it off. Not that hard. Split legged moonsault out of the corner gets two. Shelton counters the monkey flip but another spin kick puts him down. Five Star misses and Shelton hits a DDT for two. Actually make that six as it’s three two counts, the third having feet on the ropes.

Shelton goes to the floor for no apparent reason. Oh ok he’s grabbing the briefcase. Rob goes to the floor after him but gets knocked down quickly. Back in and Shelton hits a top rope cross body which Van Dam rolls through for two. Dragon Whip misses Van Dam and he hits a rana to take Shelton down. Shelton goes for the case and there goes the referee. Rob ducks a shot and hits a Van Daminator with the case. Five Star gives Rob the title.

Rating: B. This was a very fun match and the Five Star absolutely has to be seen to be believed. He didn’t hold the title long but he would cash in the case in about a month and a half for the WWE Title at One Night Stand. Shelton never got back to the point he was at a year before this, which is a shame as he was on fire at that point. Good match here.

Shelton would fall way down the card over the next year, mainly appearing in lower level matches on Raw or main eventing Heat. He would eventually reform the World’s Greatest Tag Team with Charlie Haas and get a shot against the Hardy Boys in a tag team ladder match at One Night Stand 2007.

Raw Tag Titles: Hardys vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team

Ladder match so this should be awesome. Hardys are champions coming in. Big brawl to start but that’s the point of this match I suppose. Haas takes down both Hardys with a double clothesline and here come the ladders. All four have ladders so the Hardys throw theirs at their opponents’ and put a pair in corners. Haas gets buried under a pair of ladders in the corner and Shelton is pushed on top of them.

The Hardys start being the Hardys in a ladder match and dominate quickly but make a mental mistake (the Hardys? Nah) and both go up at once, only for Shelton to toss a ladder at them and take over. They work on Jeff’s leg and send him into a ladder in the corner so softly that the fans boo it. When do you EVER hear of a spot being booed in a ladder match? Haas and Benjamin both go up but they have the same issue the Hardys had and we all come down again.

Shelton dropkicks a ladder into Matt’s face and the World’s Greatest Tag Team takes over all over again. They set up a pair of ladders in a sea-saw pattern and according to rule 2 of ladder matches, they both get slammed onto it. Here come the Hardys again and a double clothesline takes everyone not named Shelton to the floor. The Hardys bring in the huge ladders and set one between the ring and the railing.

Shelton blocks a suplex through said ladder though, until Matt backdrops Shelton onto a ladder which he just bounces off. The ladder is bent and Jeff isn’t happy. He thinks to himself by George (and bonds. Pills. Maybe some cocaine too. My band’s album because no one else will) I want him to go through that ladder but Haas makes a last second save.

Matt takes Charlie down and goes up himself, only to get shoved onto the top rope. You know the move Haas and Benjamin do where Haas holds a guy up on the top and Shelton jumps on his back? Well here they use a ladder instead of a rope and Shelton jumps to the floor onto Matt’s back and more or less destroys it in an awesome looking spot. Charlie goes up but here’s your friendly resident drug addict (Jeff in case you thought Matt got up that fast) for a superplex off the ladder to the mat.

Everyone is down now and Jeff has a glazed over look in his eye. In other words, everything is normal with him. In one of the best accidental spots I’ve ever seen, Shelton tries to springboard from the apron to the ladder to stop Jeff but slips and flips forward, kicking the ladder over. JR actually does a decent job of making it sound intentional. Matt shoves Shelton off and starts climbing up two ladders at once. Everyone goes up and it’s a four way fight. The Hardys go down but maintain enough composure to shove their opponents off. Swanton kills Haas and Matt gets the belts to retain.

Rating: B+. Pretty good tag team ladder match here as they let all four guys go in there and just do their thing which is the right idea more often than not. Also they had time (seventeen minutes) here which helped a lot as well. Very hard hitting match here as they managed to make the older spots look good again. Rather good match and not much to complain about at all here.

Shelton would jump to ECW in 2007 but continue his streak of MITB appearances at Wrestlemania XXIV. Benjamin would also dye his hair gold at this point and begin calling himself the Gold Standard which didn’t work at all.

CM Punk vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. John Morrison vs. Chris Jericho vs. MVP vs. Mr. Kennedy vs. Carlito

Morrison is a tag champion and MVP is US Champion, having held it for nearly a year. Jericho is also Intercontinental Champion because what else is he supposed to do? Everyone goes after a ladder to start other than MVP who stays in the ring. Someone slides one in and MVP uses it to knock everyone down. Jericho brings in a big ladder and it’s time for a duel. MVP goes down and here’s Morrison to use his own ladder to send Jericho down.

In an awesome move, Morrison goes up top with the ladder and moonsaults down onto a bunch of guys at once. Kennedy uses the distraction to go up but Jericho makes the save. He tries a catapult on Kennedy but sends him onto the ladder by mistake. Morrison dives onto the ladder to stop Kennedy but Shelton climbs his own ladder to make it a three way race. Kennedy loads up a superplex on Morrison but Shelton jumps over both of them with a sunset flip to make it a Tower of Doom. Cool spot.

Carlito tries to shove Shelton off the ladder but he lands on the top rope on his feet. Shelton shoves the ladder at Carlito and tries to dive onto said ladder but it gives way. Punk stops Shelton from going up and hits the GTS but Kennedy stops him with the rolling fireman’s carry onto a ladder. MVP is back in now to kick Kennedy in the head but gets sent into a ladder by Carlito.

Shelton’s dragon whip CRACKS Carlito in the head but as he goes up, Kennedy and Carlito shove the ladder forward, sending Shelton over the top and through a ladder which was bridged between the ring and the barricade. Carlito and Kennedy go up but MVP breaks that up, only to be broken up by Morrison. Jericho breaks up Morrison’s attempt by putting him in the Walls on top of the ladder. Again, awesome. Kennedy tries to use the opening but Jericho throws John down and starts brawling.

Punk and Carlito dive at the ladders to make it a fourway with only Jericho lasting on top. Carlito comes back with the Backstabber off the ladder and everyone is down again. MVP goes up the ladder but here’s the returning Matt Hardy to stop him with a Twist of Fate off the ladder. Everyone is back in again and Jericho beats on all of them with the ladder. In a cool visual one ladder is jammed into the bottom of another, so as Morrison climbs the vertical (and unfolded) one, Jericho shoves it back into the corner and onto Punk.

Carlito and Jericho go up but Carlito spits apple in the face to break it up. Kennedy shoves Carlito off but gets hit in the ribs with a ladder by Punk. Jericho hits a Codebreaker with a ladder onto Punk to put everyone not named Jericho down. Punk goes up to stop Jericho but gets hit in the face by the briefcase. Punk climbs up again and knocks Jericho into the Tree of Woe with a shot to the head, allowing Punk to climb up and win the briefcase.

Rating: B. Good MITB here but as usual the high amount of people hurt it. Nothing here really stood out other than the Walls and Matt’s return, as you can only get so much out of the same spots we’ve seen before. It’s certainly good but it’s a step below some of the other stuff, and this would only get worse until we got some fresh blood in there. A power guy wouldn’t hurt either.

He would get back into the midcard title scene with a title shot against US Champion Matt Hardy at the 2008 Great American Bash.

US Title: Matt Hardy vs. Shelton Benjamin

Shelton is the Gold Standard and challenger. The announcers point out that no one has ever lost the title at the Bash and of course they treat it like the same show as the WCW incarnation. Shelton takes over with a headlock but Matt takes over with an armdrag of his own. A quick Pay Dirty (Little Jimmy) and Twist of Fate are both countered and Matt takes over again.

Matt tries to skin the cat but Shelton dropkicks him to the floor. Shelton rams him into the post to take over. The fans are into this and I presume they’re behind Hardy but I can’t really tell. It might be split. Matt tries a Side Effect but Shelton counters into an STO for two. The Dragon Whip looks to set up the Stinger Splash but Matt counters. Middle rope leg and sunset flip get two for Matt. Twist attempt is countered and Shelton looks for a middle rope belly to back superplex but Matt knocks him off. Moonsault gets knees and Pay Dirt gives Benjamin the title.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t bad but I really didn’t get into it. Matt was certainly better as a guy that was chasing the title rather than actually holding it. Matt would go on to win the ECW Title soon after this as Shelton would hold the US Title for like 8 months and then would just chill on ECW until being released in 2010.

Shelton would hold the belt for about eight months but do very little with it before dropping it to MVP. He would head back to ECW and not do much for the next year before getting an ECW Title shot against Christian at TLC 2009.

ECW Title: Shelton Benjamin vs. Christian

This is the ladder match. I had almost gotten to the point of being sure that Benjamin would be winning here. Ah sweet we have the three man commentary team now. That’s a great thing to have for the PPVs. Christian gets a solid pop. Dang man there are ladders EVERYWHERE. Why in the world would you ask Lawler about his strategy for a ladder match? Actually that’s good as that’s his job.

Cole has gotten better at setting him up with softball questions which is what King is there for. This should be very awesome. The ECW Title has never changed hands in Texas. Could be because ECW didn’t go to Texas that much but whatever. We hit the floor and Christian gets the BIG ladder. And that doesn’t work so there we are. He’s in the ring with a ladder first but something tells me this isn’t how the match ends and I’m right as Shelton makes the save.

If nothing else Shelton is one of the few people that truly impresses me in the ring at times. Not a lot of people have ever been able to do that but there are times when he has my jaw hanging open. Christian is busted open and I’m pretty sure it’s legit as a ladder fell on his head. Yeah that’s legit. And here’s a guy to check on him. Oh dear. The fans chant WE WANT BLOOD. I love modern crowds. There’s a Santa in the crowd. That’s cool if nothing else.

For no apparent reason Shelton climbs a ladder on the floor. Sure why not? And it’s table time now. Apparently not as Shelton sets up a ladder between the ring and the announce table. Something tells me I know what’s coming. Nothing happens with it yet as we’re back in the ring. Shelton sets for what would be a Stinger Splash but Christian just throws the ladder at him. Simple yet effective.

Crowd is WAY behind Christian. I’m not sure if I like them going with the big ladders here or not. I think I do but I’m not sure. Shelton gets up the ladder and Christian shoves him off very slowly, but Shelton lands on the top rope on his feet. Think about that for a minute. That’s amazing. I know there isn’t much to criticize here but it’s a solid match. Yeah those ladders hanging from the ceiling look awesome. Shelton with a powerslam from the top of the ladder that looks better than it sounds.

Shelton does the Jeff Hardy spot where he hangs from the belt. I’ve always found that stupid. Why not just unhook the stupid thing? Striker wants to know that too. Spotfests are fun. In a mostly cool looking spot, Shelton does that slingshot sunset flip into a powerbomb but Christian reverses into a hurricanrana. Nicely done but slightly botched which is understandable given the move they were trying to do. And now we get to the ladder they set up as a table earlier.

Shelton is trying to hit a German Suplex to Christian through the ladder but it’s blocked and Shelton lands on it. Christian dives through it and the ladder breaks. Has NOTHING on the Hardy/Edge version. Not a thing and the crowd is clearly not as into it as they wanted them to be. It ends the match though.

Rating: B+. Total spotfest but incredibly fun. It was missing that epic spot to make it legendary though. Still though, perfect choice for the opener and it did exactly what it was supposed to do: get the crowd into the show. Very entertaining match and I think I lowballed it here.

Shelton would leave the WWE in April of 2010 and hit the indies for awhile before making it to ROH. He would hook up with Haas again, this time called Wrestling’s Greatest Tag Team. They would pick up the ROH Tag Team Titles and face Caprice Coleman and Cedric Alexander in a Proving Ground match (if the champs lose they have to defend the titles against the winners in I believe 90 days) on November 5, 2011.

Caprice Coleman/Cedric Alexander vs. Wrestling’s Greatest Tag Team

This is one of those Proving Ground matches. There’s a 15 minute time limit here. Alexander has the blonde mowhawk. Got it. Coleman vs. Benjamin starts us off. Benjamin works on the arm to start and Coleman can’t get anything going. He’s trying though so give him some points for that. Coleman manages to send him to the corner and gets a surprised look from Shelton.

Off to Haas vs. Alexander who is a bit more physical than his partner. Benjamin gets a blind tag in and kicks Alexander down for two. The champs have never really been in trouble at all. Haas works over the knee as we take a break. Back with Alexander fighting out of something by Benjamin but Shelton kicks him down with ease. Haas works on a leg lock but eventually walks into a bad tornado DDT.

We’re over ten minutes in now if this is in real time. Double tag brings in Coleman and Benjamin who is taken down by a leg lariat for two. We have less than four minutes according to Kelly. The non-champions speed things up and hit a double dropkick to send Haas into the barricade. Three minutes left. Their clock is about 10 seconds off but it’s close enough. There’s a double powerbomb to Coleman and we’re done at 12:55.

Rating: C. Uh…so? The champions beat the newcomers with their finishing move. Is this supposed to be surprising in a way or something? If Coleman and Alexander were worth something they would be on the roster already. Not a bad match or anything but it’s not like anything changes now or in the future. I don’t mean it hurt anything but it didn’t change things at all.

Shelton’s last and current stop was in New Japan where he would challenge for the Never Openweight Title at Wrestle Kingdom 7.

Never Openweight Title: Masato Tanaka vs. Shelton Benjamin

The Never (it’s an acronym and usually capitalized which annoys me as always) Title is part of an offshoot of NJPW for newcomers and outsiders with Tanaka defending. You might remember him from his wars with Mike Awesome back in ECW. I’m sure you know Shelton. Tanaka comes to the ring with a kendo stick which I guess is a signature prop. Feeling out process to start until Shelton speeds things up with a northern lights suplex for two. A release German suplex sends Tanaka bailing to the floor and things slow down.

Shelton will have none of this standing around and hits a BIG flip dive over the top to take out Tanaka and some other guy who was standing next to him. Back in and Tanaka comes back with a forearm in the corner to drop Benjamin and we hit the chinlock. Shelton fights up and they fight over a suplex with Tanaka getting the better of it. They chop it out and whip each other across the ring until Tanaka hits a SCREAMING CLOTHESLINE to take over. Shelton avoids a diving clothesline and comes back with the Dragon Whip to drop the champion.

A Stinger Splash keeps Tanaka in trouble and a bad looking Blockbuster gets two on the champion. Paydirt (Little Jimmy) is blocked by Tanaka but Shelton kicks his head off for two as the announcers talk about ECW. The same guy that Shelton dove on earlier trips Shelton up and blasts him in the head with a kendo stick (Checkov’s Gun works in Japan too) to give Tanaka a two count. Benjamin comes back with an ankle lock but has to take out the interfering guy with a belly to belly superplex. Tanaka uses the distraction to hit a sliding elbow to the head of a seated Shelton to retain the title. That’s a pretty weak finisher.

Rating: C. This wasn’t much to see as it didn’t have time to go anywhere, making it feel like a TV match rather than a PPV title defense. I’ve always been a Shelton fan and it’s nice to see that he’s still in great shape. Tanaka seems to be a heel here which makes sense when you have him facing a guy that can fly like Shelton.

To say Benjamin had potential is the understatement of the year. He did stuff in the ring that no one else could do with his MITB stuff being absolutely mind blowing. The heel turn in 2005 just crippled him though and he never recovered. Had he kept going on the run he had in 2004/2005, there was no way he wouldn’t have won a world title. Still though, his best years were absolutely awesome and are worth checking out if you want your jaw to drop.

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Monday Night Raw – February 24, 2014: That Old Feeling

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 24, 2014
Location: Resch Center, Green Bay, Wisconsin
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

To say tonight is a stacked card is an understatement. First and foremost we have a slew of returning stars, including Hulk Hogan, Brock Lesnar, Shawn Michaels and potentially Undertaker. It’s also the night after Elimination Chamber which saw a masterpiece between Shield and the Wyatt Family and Randy Orton retaining the WWE Title inside the Chamber. The interesting thing is what happens with Daniel Bryan, who was screwed out of the title again, leading to a tirade from Michael Cole about how it has to stop. Let’s get to it.

We open with the return of Hulk Hogan to a very nice reaction. He soaks it in….and almost immediately screws up his lines, saying the WWE Universe has officially launched. Hogan almost saves it by saying the Universe launched the Network. He talks about his career making a turn as he’s coming home to be the official host of Wrestlemania XXX. So whatcha gonna do when Hulkamania runs wild on you brother?

The announcers show us how to use the Network on various platforms.

Batista vs. Alberto Del Rio

The reaction is somehow even worse than last night. Batista points out one of the Boo-Tista signs in the crowd with a little smirk. Dave pounds him into the corner with right hands to start and a clothesline sends Del Rio outside. Alberto goes back first into the apron before being sent back inside for a suplex. Batista clotheslines him back to the floor but Del Rio trips him up and drops him on the apron. Del Rio sends him into the steps as Lawler talks about the reaction at the Rumble, coming to the logical conclusion of the fans just wanted to see Bryan.

Back from a break with Del Rio stomping on Batista in the ring. Batista comes back with some shots of his own and takes Del Rio down with some clotheslines. A Codebreaker on the arm puts Batista on the mat but he ducks the low superkick and avoids the charge in the corner. There’s the spinebuster but here’s Randy Orton as well, allowing Del Rio to roll Batista up for the pin at 10:17.

Rating: D+. This felt more like an angle than a match and at this point that’s the best thing that can happen to Batista. Del Rio hasn’t been bad lately but the fans are going to cheer anyone that’s against Batista right now. The match didn’t have time to go anywhere with most of it being in a commercial.

Randy calls that one of the funniest things he’s ever seen before talking about the fans rejecting Batista ever since he came back. He thinks Batista must regret returning but Batista says Orton couldn’t be more wrong. Batista loves this business and the fans have their own voice. However, he has his own voice too and will boo them right back. He’ll be going to Wrestlemania to fight one of his former friends and taking the title, so deal with it.

Cesaro vs. Big E.

Non-title. Big E. quickly runs him over with a shoulder but Cesaro comes back with a series of knees to the ribs. A very nice overhead belly to belly sends Cesaro flying and some running shoulders in the corner are good for two. Back up and they collide before Cesaro kicks Big E. in the face to take over. We hit the chinlock for a bit before a series of backbreakers put Cesaro down. Cesaro puts him down with a headlock as JBL and Cole have an unfunny conversation about what the E. stands for. Cesaro catches a charging Big E. in a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker as we take a break.

Back with Cesaro holding a chinlock but Big E. fights up for a gorilla press. He misses a charge into the post though and Cesaro pounds away in the corner before putting on a chinlock. A big powerslam gets two on E. and Cesaro tells Colter he’s got it. We hit the chinlock again but Big E. fights up, only to get caught in a sleeper. He rolls free and slams Cesaro down before taking off the straps.

Cesaro escapes the Big Ending and somehow hits Swiss Death for a VERY close two. The Swing is countered and Big E. hits something like a Rock Bottom out of the corner. Big E. is sent to the floor but he has to run over Swagger, allowing Cesaro to Swing the champion. Cesaro looks to set up the Neutralizer but Swagger comes in for the DQ at 15:50.

Rating: C+. This was a match with two big guys beating the tar out of each other for fifteen minutes and you can’t screw something like that up. Cesaro is an absolute freak but Big E. was more than holding his own out there. The Real Americans need to split already as Cesaro is ready to make a big jump but Swagger is holding him down.

Post match Big E. goes after Jack but Cesaro jumps him from behind and hits the Neutralizer.

Stills of the Chamber and the Wyatts costing Cena the match.

Here’s Cena to finally address the Wyatts. First off though, he says how great it is to see Hulk Hogan back where he belongs. Over the last few weeks Cena has been saying that anyone who wants to get to the top of the WWE has to go through him. The fans are of course split and Cena is of course cool with that idea. This brings him to Bray Wyatt, who has caused quite a stir since he showed up around here.

Last night Cena came face to face with Bray Wyatt and Bray cost him a championship match. That was a bold move and John Cena is right here if Bray wants to make another bold move. Here’s the whole Family to respond but Bray sits in his chair in the aisle. He says this world has an infection and a virus known as the human race. Through all of these times it makes sense that Cena would put himself right in the middle of all of them. What would the world be without its hero or its knight in shining hero?

John Cena is full of empty promises because he can’t save these people from this terrible world. Cena says the future has to come through him and Bray couldn’t agree more. Wyatt introduces himself to Cena and they are the reapers who bring death to this era of lies. Cena introduces himself as well and says if one of them comes into this ring, they’re starting something they might not be able to finish.

The monsters storm the ring and the numbers are too much for Cena. Bray pulls the Family back as Cena is favoring his left leg. Cena charges at them anyway but they’re just too bit. He’s holding that knee almost the entire time. John gets up again and the Family walks away but Cena can barely walk. He has to chase off Rowan, allowing Bray to run Cena over again. Follow the buzzards.

Cena was stretchered out during the break.

Christian vs. Sheamus

This was set up on the pre-show by Brad Maddox due to the two of them having issues since Smackdown on Friday. Christian is quickly sent to the floor but he comes back in with some right hands. Sheamus is fine with that and takes Christian into the corner for some clubbing forearms. A clothesline gets two on the Canadian and we hit a chinlock. Christian tries to wrap Sheamus’ leg around the post but Sheamus pull him face first into the steel instead. Christian counters the ten forearms to the chest and scores with a missile dropkick for two. Sheamus backdrops him to the floor and hits a shoulder off the apron as we take a break.

Back with Christian shoving Sheamus off the top and to the floor before ramming him into the steps. Christian stomps away in the corner before putting on a body vice to work over Sheamus’ bad ribs. Cole tells us that Cena’s injury is to his knee and it’s swollen pretty badly. Christian puts on an abdominal stretch but Sheamus elbows his way out and avoids a cross body.

Sheamus is sent to the floor but he catches a charging Christian with a knee lift and hits the ten forearms to the chest. A slingshot shoulder gets two and Sheamus busts out the Cloverleaf but Christian is quickly in the ropes. White Noise is countered into a sunset flip for two but the Brogue Kick misses. Christian goes up top but jumps into the Brogue Kick for the pin at 15:50.

Rating: B-. Another nice long match tonight with Christian getting to do what he does best: look good in a losing effort. Sheamus is still in a weird place as the fans like him and always pop for the Brogue (hard not to) but he really needs something to do. Good match here and that’s all you can ask for at times.

Earlier tonight the Authority called today the biggest night since the first Wrestlemania when Bryan cams up screaming, saying that he’ll fight HHH right now or at Wrestlemania but HHH laughed it off.

Black History Month video on the Soul Patrol of Tony Atlas and Rocky Johnson.

Dean Ambrose is tired of explaining himself to Rollins and Reigns. They don’t trust him so he’s out of here. Rollins and Reigns are left alone when the Wyatts come in. Reigns challenges them to a fight right now, but says he’d love to fight Bray one on one tonight, with the Family and the dogs staying in the back. Bray accepts and laughs.

Ric Flair and Booker T were on the Raw pre-show panel to talk about the show. Flair starts a YES chant to take us to the next match.

Daniel Bryan vs. Kane

Kane slugs away to start but Bryan comes back with kicks to the leg. A running dropkick to the knee has Kane in trouble and some chop blocks put him down. Kane fights out of a half crab and stomps away but Bryan fights back like the plucky hero he is. A shot to the shoulder puts him back down though and we hit the armbar, only to have Bryan send Kane to the floor. The FLYING GOAT is blocked by an uppercut and we take a break.

Back with Kane stomping away and putting on an armbar, only to have Bryan quickly punch his way out. Bryan hits the moonsault out of the corner and takes Kane down with the running clothesline. There are the YES Kicks but the big one is countered and a side slam gets two. Bryan fights back again and gets two of his own off a top rope hurricanrana before hitting the running corner dropkicks.

Kane charges over the top to the floor and there’s the FLYING GOAT! Another running dropkick knocks Kane against the barricade and a missile dropkick connects back inside. A big kick to the head gets two but Kane counters the top rope headbutt with a chokeslam for a close two. Bryan can’t get the YES Lock the first or second time so he hits a quick running knee for the pin at 15:40.

Rating: C+. This was the match that the two needed to have and it gets rid of the idea of Bryan vs. Kane at Wrestlemania. It’s pretty clear that we’re heading towards HHH vs. Bryan in the showdown and there’s nothing wrong with that at all. Not a great match or anything but it was a good performance by both guys. Kane needs to lose the shirt though.

Bryan calls HHH a coward for running from a challenge and hiding behind Stephaine’s skirt. Ever since HHH put on the suit, he’s ignored the people’s wishes, even when they make their voices heard. The YES chant starts up and Bryan asks HHH if he’s listening. There’s an entire arena of people here in Green Bay, Wisconsin chanting YES so give them what they want: HHH vs. Daniel Bryan at Wrestlemania XXX.

Emma vs. Summer Rae

Emma gets her full entrance with the bubbles and dancing but the people still don’t care. Emma grabs a small package for an early two but Summer kicks her head off to take over. Summer puts on a chinlock as the match slows quite a bit. The fans actually cheer for Emma to fight up and she counters another spinwheel kick into the Emma Lock (bridging Indian deathlock) for the win at 3:24.

Rating: D+. Emma still isn’t working due to the Santino factor but that’s WWE for you. Just let her be goofy and adorable and the fans will get into her. The lack of the long pants and shirt helped her here but she still needs to be herself instead of Santino’s latest chick. Seriously he’s had like four Divas now.

We look back at Hogan’s return earlier.

Usos vs. New Age Outlaws

Non-title. Dogg gets on the mic and says we know how this ends so the young kids need to get out of the ring. The Usos actually do it so the Outlaws can do their schtick but the twins come in and clean house with Jimmy superkicking and splashing Road Dogg for the pin at 1:13.

Bray Wyatt vs. Roman Reigns

They trade right hands to start and Bray rolls to the floor. Back in and Reigns shoves Bray around before a finger to the eye sends Wyatt outside again. Bray comes back in again and takes over with a boot to the head followed by a hard clothesline for two. Roman will have none of this selling stuff and takes Bray outside for an even harder clothesline as we take a break.

Back with Bray hitting a running backsplash and drawing what sounds like a SCARY chant. We hit the headlock on the mat as the fans are already bored because this hasn’t been going a thousand miles an hour. Bray hits his running cross body and a splash in the corner but Reigns avoids another charge. The dropkick from the floor to the apron sets up a belly to back slam (similar to Cena’s ProtoBomb) for two….and here are the other Wyatts.

They’re just on the floor but Rollins sprints in from the crowd and DIVES on both of them, giving Bray a rollup for two. Reigns misses a charge into the post as Rollins is beaten down. Ambrose finally charges in from the back to join the fight but Reigns scores with the Superman Punch. He has to go after Harper though and Ambrose comes in for the DQ at 14:00 though.

Rating: C+. This was the only way to go here and the ending was about as good as it could have been. They clearly couldn’t job either guy and it advances Dean’s split. It helped that Ambrose was caught up in the moment rather than doing something stupid so Reigns has a reason to believe him when he says it wasn’t intentional.

Here are Heyman and Lesnar to close the show with a table in the ring. Paul calls Brock the undisputed #1 contender but apparently HHH won’t let him in the title match. He’s offered Brock an open contract at Wrestlemania but that’s just not good enough. What Brock wants is to conquer history, just like he’s done with every single thing he’s done in his life. The only reason Brock Lesnar can’t conquer the WWE Championship is the Authority won’t give him the chance.

That’s how they get you in WWE, so Paul has advised Brock to turn down the open contract and demand the title match. If not, there’s no Lesnar at Wrestlemania…..and there’s the gong. Brock isn’t sure what to think because apparently the lightning, thunder, smoke, organ music and UNDERTAKER BEING ON THE SCREEN AREN’T CLEAR ENOUGH. Undertaker comes through the curtain (with black Ministry beard of course) and Brock still isn’t sure what to do.

Taker turns to Brock and stares him down as a LOUD Undertaker chant starts up. He looks over Brock at the sign and we get the big staredown. Paul gets the idea and open the contract for Brock. Lesnar immediately signs and hands Taker the pen. Heyman offers Taker the match so Taker STABS BROCK’s HAND WITH THE PEN and chokeslams him through the table. The hood comes off and he’s got a little mohawk going to make him look even more evil. Brock is left laying to end the show.

Overall Rating: A. I had a blast with tonight’s show as it feels like we’re getting to Wrestlemania season. We’ve got three major matches practically penciled in and a lot of stuff got nice build as well. Couple that with four matches going 14+ minutes and you can’t go wrong here. The ending was the high point of course but I can’t shake that feeling I got from Hogan. It just felt right seeing him back on Raw and I can’t help but smile.

Results

Alberto Del Rio b. Baitsta – Rollup

Big E. b. Cesaro via DQ when Jack Swagger interfered

Sheamus b. Christian – Brogue Kick

Daniel Bryan b. Kane – Running Knee

Emma b. Summer Rae – Emma Lock

Bray Wyatt b. Roman Reigns via DQ when Dean Ambrose interfered

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Thought of the Day: The Wrestlemania X-Factor

It’s reminiscent of Judgment Day 2000.Back at Judgment Day 2000, the Rock was in an iron man match against HHH.  With about two minutes to go, everything fell apart and Rock was outnumbered by about six to one.  It looked like there was no hope but the Undertaker returned and saved the Rock.  He also cost him the WWF Title but that’s another story.

The place went NUTS as Undertaker had been gone for about six months.  He was making a huge return after about six months away and he had been gone just long enough that people had forgotten he was missing.  That brings us to the next six weeks before Wrestlemania.  There’s a factor that hasn’t been mentioned in the the last few weeks and I think that’s by design.

The man I’m talking about is Vince McMahon.

Vince hasn’t been seen on WWE TV since I believe TLC, or about two months ago.  Everything seems to be falling down around Daniel Bryan as HHH and Stephanie’s authority continues to expand but if history has taught us anything, it’s that Vince McMahon can defy any story or power structure and be the ultimate power in WWE at the drop of a hat.

Vince is going to be back before Wrestlemania and he’s going to be shake up the Bryan vs. HHH feud.  Bank on it.

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Thought of the Day: Size Matters To Randy Orton

Not one of my more exact ideas but it’s pretty accurate.Orton tends to work better against guys smaller than he is.  Think about it.

 

Good Matches With Orton

Cena

Christian

Ziggler

Shawn Michaels

 

Not So Good Matches With Orton

HHH

Sheamus

Big Show

Edge

 

Orton is about 6’4, or the same height as Edge and HHH.  Like I said, not an exact science but most things in wrestling aren’t.




Wrestler of the Day – February 7: Jeff Hardy

There isn’t a great selection today but since he debuted a new gimmick on Impact, here’s Jeff Hardy.

While he’s better known as a tag wrestler, Jeff had a few quick appearances as a jobber back in the mid 90s. From June 6, 1994 on Raw, when Hardy was just 16 years old.

Razor Ramon vs. Keith Davis

Razor hits a HARD chop to the chest and throws Davis around before catching him in the fallaway slam. Off to an abdominal stretch as Vince and Savage talk about the second class of the WWF Hall of Fame. Savage says welcome to the big leagues as Razor toys with Davis. The announcers ignore the match to preview the King of the Ring and it’s a belly to back superplex and the Razor’s Edge for the pin.

Rating: D. Total and complete squash as Jeff looked to be even younger than his sixteen years. He literally had no offense and there was nothing to the match but it’s always interesting to see something like this. Who would have thought these two would fight on PPV ten years later?

That was really just a quick appearance before Jeff would move to the independents, including his own promotion known as OMEGA. He and his brother Matt would form a tag team known as the Hardy Boys who would eventually catch the WWF’s eye and be brought in full time in 1998. Their first year didn’t do much but they would beat the Acolytes in a fluke for their first World Tag Team Titles. The reign wouldn’t last long but they would soon

Edge/Christian vs. Hardy Boys

They’re the New Brood here but you get the idea. The winner gets $100,000 and Terri. This is the night where these four broke through to the other side and changed the company for more or less ever. Keep in mind, none of the spots you’re about to see have ever been seen in the company before so this is all new stuff. What you have here is four guys being told to go out there and just do it. I’ve long since thought this WWF’s answer to the cruiserweights.

This is the Terri Invitational Tournament. Spell it out for yourselves. We start on the floor and this should be awesome. It’s a fight to get to the ladders. I’ve never gotten why you need to get to the ladder first. It’s not like that means you win or anything. I remember in War Games 2000 in WCW you had to get the belt down and leave with it. Kevin Nash just stood at the door. He didn’t have to do anything but leave with the belt, so why risk getting hurt to go up there and get it?

Let someone else do the work. First ladder is brought in and down goes Edge. The reactions to this are great. The fans are gasping at every spot which is what you want: to get the crowd excited. We’ve been in this match maybe four minutes and it’s already way ahead of the rest of the show. Oh Gangrel was thrown out. Swanton to Edge onto a ladder. Looking back this isn’t that great by comparison but it’s still very fun.

You have to keep in mind that there is nothing to compare it to at the moment. This is the first multi-man ladder match so this is just mind blowing. Also it’s the first time that there isn’t a big man like Ramon in there. These guys are designed for matches like this and it’s working really well. Edge is almost there and Matt just chucks a ladder at him. That was cool.

Matt’s crotch gets crushed. You know, it occurs to me that in storyline, Matt and Edge dated Lita, in the Christian/Jericho and Lita/Trish angle it was Christian and Lita and Jeff and Lita had a small thing once Matt was gone. Dang that girl gets around. Everyone is down now as Christian takes a Twist of Fate. Second ladder is set up. Jeff takes a Downward Spiral from the ladder.

The great thing about a ladder is that while most of the spots are from about the level of the second rope, having a ladder involved makes it seem cooler. The see-saw spot debuts and Christian and Matt get slammed in the face with it. These things never get old. The look on Edge’s face with him laying on his back with his eyes open is great. All four go up at once and all four come down with all four landing on the ropes.

Crowd is going nuts mind you. The roof camera view is pretty awesome actually. Edge climbs one ladder, Christian and Jeff climb another. Matt slams the ladder with two guys into the other ladder so Edge falls. Jeff jumps from one ladder to the other and knocks Edge off to grab the money. SWEET ENDING.

Rating: A. Just yes. This is the reason to see this PPV. This match just changed the WWF forever as they set the standard for awesome matches with ladders. The fans ate this up like no other and it still definitely holds up today. Just a great match. start the feud that would establish them as one of the best teams in the world. They would enter a series of matches with Edge and Christian known as the Terri Invitational Tournament, culminating in the first ever tag team ladder match at No Mercy 1999.

Later in 1999 a new team debuted who were obsessed with tables. The Hardy Boys would face this new team known as the Dudley Boys in a tag team tables match at Royal Rumble 2000.

Dudley Boyz vs. Hardy Boyz

I believe match #1 or #2 in a series of roughly 8000 and it’s an elimination tables match. Bubba praises John Rocker of the Braves who had recently gone on a massive anti-New York rant in Sports Illustrated. The Hardys hit the ring and the match starts fast with Bubba hitting the Bubba Bomb on Jeff. No tags here thank goodness. Bubba sets up a table in the ring but before he can get another one, Jeff takes him out with a HUGE flip dive.

Jeff gets sent into the steps as Matt escapes a powerbomb through the table. D-Von suplexes Matt as Jeff CRACKS Bubba in the head with a chair. In a SICK spot, Jeff tries to run the railing but Bubba throws the table at Jeff, knocking him out of the air. That sounded GREAT. The pairings trade off and Bubba loads up the backsplash through the table, only for Jeff to come back and try a double superplex. D-Von moves the table but doesn’t stop the suplex.

Matt brings in a ladder because this might as well be a TLC style match. We head to the floor where the ladder is set up in front of a table with Bubba on it. Matt dives through Bubba through the table just as Jeff dives in from off camera with a splash, sending Bubba through the table in another awesome looking spot. So it’s 2-1 now with Jeff leaning a table up against the barricade. The steps are set up on their end and a table is set up like a bridge between the steps and the apron.

D-Von is placed on the bridged table but moves before Matt dives through him. He moves AGAIN to avoid a diving Jeff, sending him through the leaning table. Cool sequence there by Ninja D-Von. Apparently Bubba doesn’t have to leave. Ok that makes things more interesting. The Dudleys set up two steps in the ring and put a table across them before hitting a HUGE powerbomb on Matt to eliminate (in a sense) him. The tables are LOUD tonight too. Jeff gets beaten into the aisle but Matt quickly follows, only to get WHACKED in the head with a chair.

The Dudleys stack up four tables in front of the entrance (it’s the MSG setup where the entrance is opposite the cameras). Matt gets put on the tables and Jeff is CRACKED in the head again to break up the save attempt. Bubba climbs onto the taxi over the aisle to splash Matt, but remember that wouldn’t win the match. Jeff climbs up after him (I’m not sure where D-Von went) and blasts him with a chair, knocking him through two of the tables (still doesn’t win). Matt puts D-Von on the table and Jeff dives off the taxi with the Swanton through D-Von through the table for the win.

Rating: B+. This was AWESOME with all four guys being young and hungry here. The Dudleys were out to prove themselves and the Hardys were out to show they could hang in a fight. They had already proven they could fight in a violent match like the ladder match, but this was a brawl instead of a high flying match. REALLY fun stuff here though and well worth a look if you haven’t seen it. The Dudleys would get the titles next month, setting up the first triangle ladder match at Mania.

The three teams would eventually combine into one of the most famous matches of all time at Wrestlemania X7: Tables Ladders and Chairs II.

Tag Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. Hardy Boyz vs. Edge and Christian

The Dudleys are the champions coming in. There’s no story to it, but was there ever to one of these things? Edge and Christian get double teamed to start and the Dudleyz hit a double flapjack on Christian. Both sets of Boys fight in the corner with Jeff hitting Poetry in Motion on both at once. Cue Edge and Christian again with the ladder before Edge brings in a chair. The Canadians put Matt in the Tree of Woe and stand on his crotch. No wonder Lita left him for Edge.

Edge stats to climb but Matt makes the stop and goes up himself. That goes badly for him of course as Edge uses the chair as a stepping stone to take Matt down with a clothesline. Jeff dropkicks Edge off the ladder before joining with his brother to dropkick a ladder into the Dudleys’ faces. There are two ladders in the ring now in opposite corners. Christian is slammed down and hit with a stereo splash/legdrop from the Hardys. The Dudleys are back in now and there’s What’s Up.

It’s Table Time with Edge being placed on the first one, but Jeff tries a hurricanrana to Bubba, only to be powerbombed through Edge through the table. This is nonstop action so far. The Dudleys set up four tables at ringside as Paul tells us of Big Daddy Dudley’s construction company in Dudleyville. Currently there’s a table in the corner and three ladders in the ring. Bubba picks up a ladder and CRACKS Matt in the head with it before setting it up next to the other two. All three are set up in a row in the middle of the ring so here’s a six way climb.

Matt and Christian go flying first with Matt landing on the ropes and Christian falling all the way to the floor. Jeff and D-Von fall into the opposite ropes and Edge and Bubba fall backwards, to put all six guys down. Edge is the only one halfway standing and Christian sets up a table on the floor. Bubba dumps a ladder to the floor to clear the ring out a bit as Spike Dudley, Bubba and D-Von’s cousin, runs in. He hits Edge low and puts Christian through a table with the Dudley Dog off the apron.

Edge and Christian’s friend Rhyno runs in and destroys everyone in sight before sending Edge up the ladder to get the belts. Cue Lita to jerk Edge off. The ladder. Anyway with the thong sticking WAY out, Rhyno picks her up but gets hit low by Spike. Lita goes up for a rana on Rhyno and Spike cracks him in the head with a chair, sending Rhyno into the ladder, knocking Edge into the ropes. A Doomsday Device puts Rhyno down again but Lita CRACKS Spike in the head with a chair. She then takes off her top, giving us the biggest pop of the night. Not that it matters as she walks into a 3D and is now done for the match.

The Canadians come back in with chairs to take the champions out before Christian brings out the huge ladder. It’s on the floor but it’s still taller than the ones in the ring. Jeff, ever the crazy man, goes ALL THE WAY to the top and hits a Swanton onto Spike and Rhyno (read as Rhyno barely gets hit and Spike takes every bit of it). The super ladder is set up in the ring now and it’s a race between D-Von and Christian. Matt moves the ladder away, leaving both guys hanging from the cord holding the belts.

Both guys fall down, but Jeff gets up on a regular ladder and tries to walk on the other small ladders like a tightrope. Jeff loses his balance though and has to hang from the cord as well. Bubba grabs the ladder and walks away with it while Jeff’s feet are still in it, pulling Jeff’s body back. The feet pull away and Jeff swings forward, right into a spear from Edge off the super ladder, drawing a BIG gasp from the crowd. That’s the spot that made everyone realize Edge was going to be something VERY special.

Matt and Bubba go up on the super ladder, but Rhyno shoves it over, sending them crashing through the four tables at ringside. D-Von goes up now but Edge grabs his feet, allowing Rhyno to give Christian enough of a boost to beat D-Von to the top and get the titles, finally ending this carnage.

Rating: A+. If you’re looking for pure insanity and non-stop violence, this is the pinnacle of the genre. These nine people went for over fifteen minutes and never once stopped beating on each other. The spots are insane and the big spots still have you in awe. This match holds up incredibly well and is just as impressive as it was twelve years ago. Absolute masterpiece that blows away every MITB match that I can remember.

The rest of 2001 wasn’t much for the Hardys as the Invasion sucked up the entire company. The team spent most of the year feuding with the Dudleys to less fanfare every time. Jeff would spend the first half of 2002 treading water before saying he was tired of just talking about living life. His great idea: challenging the Undertaker to a ladder match for the Undisputed Title on July 1, 2002.

Undisputed WWE Championship: Jeff Hardy vs. Undertaker

So the idea here is that Jeff has been destroyed by Taker every time they’ve fought but Taker has never been in a ladder match so Jeff should have a chance. Taker goes for the ladder but gets it kicked into his face. Jeff gets a chair shot in but Taker catches the ladder shot from Jeff. They haven’t been in the ring together yet. Taker hammers on Jeff for awhile but gets sent into a ladder to slow things down.

Jeff launches himself at the ladder with Taker under it, probably hurting himself even worse. They get into the ring and Jeff is down again. Taker gets a big shot with the ladder to knock Jeff into the table. He has the match won but instead Taker climbs down and pounds on Jeff even more. This is SO slow. Jeff tries to fire in some shots and goes off on Taker but a single punch slows him down.

Taker hits a running clothesline in the corner. This is the least interesting ladder match I’ve ever seen. Taker misses a charge in the corner and slams into the ladder….but is back on offense about 4 seconds later. Whisper in the Wind takes Taker down but the champ is back up and hitting a big boot before Jeff gets in another shot. A low blow puts Taker down as does a flip dive to the floor.

Jeff gets the big ladder but Taker stops him with a Last Ride attempt. The WORST RANA EVER sends Taker to the floor as a counter and Jeff climbs. He touches the gold but Taker makes the save. Taker goes for the Last Ride again but Jeff cracks him with a chair twice and climbs very slowly. And never mind as Undertaker cracks him with the chair and “chokeslams” (more like choke-shoves) him off to retain.

Rating: D. I remember this a lot more fondly than it was here. The ending is good and is some decent drama, but the rest of it is just SO slow and uninteresting. Jeff never had a chance but Taker did nothing but punch the rest of the time and that doesn’t make for an interesting match at all. Very weak match but a good ending.

Jeff gets back up so Taker goes back in and hits a Last Ride. Taker rides off but Jeff gets the mic and says he’s still standing. Taker comes back to hit him but stops and raises Jeff’s hand, supposedly turning face in the process. I don’t remember that coming for a few more weeks but allegedly it was here.

 

Jeff would leave WWE in spring of 2003 citing burnout and spend time on the independent scene before debuting in TNA in June 2004. He would main event their first pay per view against Jeff Jarrett and would be in the co-main event of their second pay per view, Turning Point 2004, in a six man tag with AJ Styles and Randy Savage against Scott Hall, Jeff Jarrett and Kevin Nash.

Jeff Hardy/AJ Styles/Randy Savage vs. Kings of Wrestling

Savage was kidnapped remember. The Kings come out to Elvis impersonator music and Elvis suits. AJ looks like he’s about 19 here. Jarrett is world champion. Hall looks almost human. AJ and Jarrett start us off. Bah I can’t say Jeff in this. AJ and the champ see who can get the bigger reactions from the crowd then do some technical stuff. A headscissors takes Jarrett down and a dropkick takes him down again.

Off to Hall. He and Nash are wrestling in those Elvis suits. Give me a break. Hall works on the arm so AJ takes the knees out to control. He wants Nash so Hall spits at him and makes the tag. AJ uses the speed again and dropkicks all three Kings down. Hardy is tagged in and dropkicks Hall and Jarrett down as things speed up. Slingshot dropkick by Hardy has Nash in trouble.

Nash gets in a big boot and Hardy is in trouble. Here’s the champ who beat Hardy last month at Victory Road. I always thought that was two or three months before this show. Jarrett hot shots him on the top rope and it’s time to strut. Back to Hall for a discus punch and chokeslam for two. Nash comes in for a sideslam which gets two also. Back to Hall who hooks the abdominal stretch. Nothing but trademark stuff from the Outsiders.

Hall hooks a modified STF but pulls on the hair instead of the neck. That has to hurt. Hardy gets his mule kick (catching Hall squarely in the hand) which is enough for the tag to AJ. Things speed up again and AJ cleans house. Moonsault into the reverse DDT gets two. Styles Clash to Jarrett is avoided and Nash breaks up the springboard forearm. Fallaway slam for two as we’re just waiting on Savage to make the big miracle appearance.

Nash hits the framed elbow (complete with Karate Elvis Action!) for two. Back to Jarrett and they work over the ribs which the Outsiders started on. Naturally this leads to the Figure Four LEG Lock but AJ rolls him up for two. Hall breaks up the tag and Nash hooks a bearhug. See, THAT makes sense. AJ makes the unseen tag and it’s back to Jarrett. They slug it out and both hit cross bodies to put them down.

AJ finally makes the tag to Hardy and house is cleaned. Stroke is countered into a Twist of Stunner and AJ adds a springboard cross body to Hall. Nash takes out the referee though as the numbers are catching up with them. Hardy goes up for the Swanton but Hall hits him with the guitar. Hardy falls forward onto Jarrett for the Swanton anyway but there’s no referee. Here’s Savage with a big old bald spot as is his custom. Naturally with everyone down he wants a tag and fires off right hands. All three of the Kings get caught in sleepers for some reason. Jarrett tries a sunset flip but Savage falls on him for the pin.

Rating: C-. The match was ok but the ending was HORRIBLE (again). Savage might have been out there 90 seconds. He would be gone the next day because he proposed a one month title reign for himself and said he’d drop it back to Jarrett the next month but it was vetoed. That’s his last match, which is a sad note to go out on.

 

Hardy wouldn’t do much in 2005 due to being suspended for the summer due to missing a scheduled appearance. He would be suspended again in December and not appear on TNA TV again. In August he would return to WWE and receive an Intercontinental Title shot on October 2, 2006 on Raw.

I

Intercontinental Title: Johnny Nitro vs. Jeff Hardy

Nitro is defending. JR gives us a factoid about Melina: she likes three way sex. Well you can’t say he beats around the…..never mind. Nitro controls to start but Jeff comes back with a quick Twist attempt. Melina tries to distract Jeff but only gets him to dive on Johnny as we take a break. Back with Nitro holding a reverse chinlock. During the break the slingshot dropkick from Hardy missed to give the champion control.

Jeff fights up but misses the Whisper in the Wind. Nitro stomps away in the corner and Jeff hits the post. Dang Melina can scream. Off to a surfboard submission and Jeff is in trouble. Jeff comes back with a mule kick and then a second one as Nitro is in some trouble very quickly. Whisper in the Wind gets two and Nitro heads to the floor. A baseball slide sets up the railing run and Melina gets taken out too. They both go up, resulting in Jeff backdropping him off the top and hitting the Swanton for the pin and the title.

Rating: C+. Pretty decent match here as both guys were still young and fast. It was clear that Jeff was going to be the bigger deal than his brother and that Nitro was going to be a decent sized star himself and this was a good example of that. Nothing great here but a title change is always cool to see.

2007 wasn’t much of a year for Jeff as a singles guy as he would hang around the midcard before reforming the Hardy Boys for a reunion tour and another Tag Team Title reign. Later in the year, Hardy would be the one of the last man remaining on a Survivor Series team along with HHH, leading to a match with HHH at Armageddon. Hardy would shock the world by pinning HHH, setting up a World Title match at Royal Rumble 2008. The show did one of the highest buyrates in the history of the event and almost all of the credit was given to Hardy.

Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. Jeff Hardy

Jeff is Intercontinental Champion. Feeling out process to start with Jeff taking over via a headlock on the mat. An atomic drop gets two but Orton hits him in the face and brags to the crowd about it. Orton gets sent to the floor and a baseball slide sends him into the barricade. Hardy follows with a plancha to the floor as JR SCREAMS to get Orton back in the ring. Randy tries to walk out with the belt but Hardy will have none of that. Orton is rammed into the announce table and back inside we go.

As Hardy tries a springboard, Orton dropkicks him right back to the floor in a big crash. There’s the Orton Stomp and some choking as Orton shows off his wide range of offense. This is before Orton was orange so the visuals aren’t all that bad. A pair of knee drops get two on Hardy as Orton asks the fans if they believe in Jeff still. Hardy sends Orton over the top to the floor, followed by a bad clothesline off the apron (it hit Orton’s arm and completely missed his neck and chest).

Back in again and Jeff misses a charge into the post, giving Orton both a two count and control again. Randy hooks a chinlock with a bodyscissors followed by a powerslam for two. Back to the chinlock (yep it’s an Orton match) to fill in some time. Jeff fights up again and takes Randy down with a clothesline but can’t follow up. Jeff starts striking with everything he’s got and hits the Whisper in the Wind to fire up the crowd even more.

That’s one thing I haven’t talked about enough here: the fans are WAY behind Hardy here. It isn’t the usual New York reaction to a face. They want Jeff to win the title NOW. Hardy hits the slingshot dropkick in the corner but before he can hit the Swanton, Randy bails to the floor. Jeff is cool with that and hits (kind of at least) a moonsault to the floor. Back in and Jeff loads up the Twist but Orton counters into the RKO out of nowhere to retain.

Rating: C+. That’s a really bad finish for a few reasons. First of all, it’s WAY too sudden. If they were shooting at punching the audience in the stomach I guess they accomplished that, but it doesn’t do much else. Hardy winning was an option, but at the end of the day they made the right move here….I think. I was disappointed Hardy won, but thankfully WWE stretched it out for a LONG time before he got the title, which was the right move at the end of the day.

The chase would continue all year with Hardy getting closer and closer every single time, leading up to a triple threat match against new champion Edge and HHH at Armageddon 2008.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. HHH vs. Jeff Hardy

Solid heat on Edge and a solid gut also. Jeff goes straight for Edge as JR can’t remember if Jeff got attacked in Baltimore or Boston. Basic opening so far with Jeff driving the action. He sends Edge and HHH to the floor and dives on the Canadian. Trips takes his head off though so it’s Edge vs. HHH in the ring now. How was that never the main event of a bigger show than Great American Bash?

Jumping knee to the face puts Edge down as does a neckbreaker. Edge’s bad luck continues as he gets caught in a facebuster. Jeff back in now and he gets a facebuster for Christmas also. HHH tries the Pedigree to Edge but Jeff takes them both out with a Whisper in the Wind. The Game is down and Jeff gets crotched on the top. HHH comes in to get Edge and it’s a Doomsday Device with Jeff hitting a Whisper in the Wind instead of a clothesline. Edge’s bump is SCARY here as he lands on the back of his head.

Pedigree to Jeff is countered again and he goes into the buckle. Slingshot dropkick hits HHH but the Edge-O-Matic takes Jeff down for two. HHH’s bad luck continues in the form of a spear. Twist of Fate and Swanton hit HHH but Edge makes a last second save. Everybody goes to the floor and HHH is mostly dead.

Edge gets whipped around a lot and Jeff loads up the announce table. HHH pops up again and sends Edge onto the table but not through it. Jeff escapes a Pedigree and gets killed with a spear through the third table. Edge vs. HHH in the ring with the Canadian hitting an Edgecution for no cover. Spear is countered into the spinebuster and there’s the Pedigree.

Kozlov of all people pops up and breaks up the pin before beating on HHH. Matt Hardy comes out to get rid of Kozlov. Jeff goes up but Kozlov shoves him away before the Swanton can hit. Matt and Vlad go up the aisle and only Edge is in the ring. HHH comes back in but walks into a spear for two. A frustrated Edge goes to the floor and sets for a Conchairto.

Jeff grabs a chair and BLASTS Edge with it. He wants the Swanton but HHH crotches him. That was a sick, sick chair shot and it was only with one hand. HHH grabs the Pedigree in the corner but Jeff dives off the top with the Swanton to HHH and covers Edge for the pin and his first world title. The roof blows off the place and with good reason. The LD exploded and I did too, since I slept through the original broadcast of this and the first thing I saw was Jeff diving onto HHH.

Rating: B. Solid match all around here but the point here was for the ending. That Swanton and the reaction from the crowd was excellent. The whole thing worked perfectly and the match was good. Not sure why they had Kozlov and Matt in there but it wasn’t a big issue. The right man won here and that’s all that matters.

The last five minutes of this are spent on a huge celebration by Jeff. Totally awesome moment for one simple reason: this has been a year in the making and Jeff felt like he finally earned it. This could have been in the main event of Wrestlemania but the shock of it was a great bonus perk. I’m not a Hardy fan but this is still awesome on every possible level.

 

The title reign would end in his first defense when Matt Hardy would turn on his brother, revealing that he had been the source of several accidents that had befallen Jeff recently. Matt would win the first match at Wrestlemania but the two would meet again at Backlash 2009.

Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy

I Quit rules remember. Jeff goes off on him in the corner and hits a seated dropkick to send Matt to the floor. Jeff hits a dive and the referee asks if they want to quit. Yeah they’ll quit a minute into the match, sure. With a running start, Jeff hits Poetry in Motion off the steps. Back in and Jeff hits the slingshot dropkick in the corner. A middle rope legdrop hits Matt and it’s off to a chinlock. The lack of covers is always a bit hard to get used to in these matches.

Matt rams him into the buckle to break the hold but can’t do much to follow up. Jeff goes up but gets shoved to the floor in a great crash. Matt wraps Jeff’s leg around the post and we get the first ask with the mic. Jeff says no both times so Matt bends the knee around the post. Matt puts on a figure four and Jeff still won’t quit. Jerry thinks Matt is going after the knee. You can’t buy this kind of analysis people!

Jeff escapes but gets put right back in it again. That doesn’t work so Matt hooks a seated half crab but Jeff still won’t quit. Matt puts him in the Tree of Woe and bends Jeff’s head back but Jeff won’t quit. Instead of holding him there longer, Matt rants and probably posts a YouTube video about it. He puts Jeff on top but his belly to back superplex is countered into a crossbody.

Jeff hooks a standing Texas Cloverleaf and Matt taps but won’t say he quits. They botch a Twist of Fate so the second attempt works a bit better. Matt still won’t quit so Jeff gets a table. Matt rolls to the floor but Jeff follows with the Twist to take him down again. Back in the ring now and Jeff puts him on the table.

Before he does anything though, Jeff grabs some tape from under the ring and ties Matt’s hands and feet together. Now he gets a rope and ties Matt to the table. Matt still won’t quit so Jeff gets a ladder. Jeff climbs said ladder but Matt begs for mercy. He says Mom and Dad wouldn’t like it and that he loves Jeff. Matt quits to prevent Jeff from jumping.

Rating: C. This was a fun match but the ending hurt it badly. With all the stuff that Matt has been through over the years, he quits to avoid a legdrop through the table? The match was just ok up to that point but at the end of the day like I said earlier, I don’t think people were really that interested in seeing these guys fight. This ended the feud, which is probably best for everyone involved.

Hardy would feud with CM Punk over the World Heavyweight Championship later in the year before leaving the company just after Summerslam. A few months later he would debut in TNA on the same night as Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff. Over the summer a complicated and confusing storyline developed about a group called THEY that were coming to TNA. At the same time, a tournament was being held for the vacant TNA World Title, leading up to the finals at Bound For Glory with Hardy in one of the three slots.

TNA World Title: Mr. Anderson vs. Kurt Angle vs. Jeff Hardy

Hardy has new music. Nothing all that special as again you can barely understand it. He’s called challenger #1. Who exactly is he challenging if no one has the title? Anderson is in gray tights which is odd. It’s 10:33 and we’re just starting. Think they’re cutting this close? No big match intros either which is weird also.

Angle is knocked to the floor and Anderson gets a neckbreaker on Hardy for two. Angle pops in and goes for Anderson’s knee. Big old belly to belly as it’s all Angle here. Then Hardy saves and it’s all Hardy. Little theme going on there. Angle Germans Hardy who Germans Anderson to take both of them over in a cool spot.

It gets two on Hardy as we keep going. 10:37 and no sign of THEY which scares the heck out of me. Hardy sends Angle up and over and might be hurt. I don’t buy it but whatever. Hardy goes over the top in a dive to take out everyone. Back in and Angle is ok, hooking a chinlock on Hardy after a cover gets two.

Running German to Hardy and he’s up seconds later. Ok then. Hey we went a full two hours and 40 minutes before we got a shot of Dixie. Angle is busted open a bit. Angle busts out some Germans on Anderson as Hardy is down. Hardy gets some of the same. Ankle Lock on the face painted one.

Anderson tries to save and winds up in the ankle lock. Angle locks the ankle lock on BOTH of them at once. That looks awesome. Naturally it doesn’t work but it looked cool while it was on. Anderson gets that rolling fireman’s carry slam from the middle rope on Angle so that Hardy can cover both for two.

10:45 now as this has somehow been going 12 minutes. Angle Slam gets two on Hardy. Top rope Angle Slam on Anderson but Hardy gets the cover for two. The fans think this is awesome and it’s not bad. Twist of Fate to Anderson and the Swanton hits. Angle saves into the ankle lock and Hardy is in trouble.

Jeff kicks off and sends Angle into a Mic Check for a VERY close two. Pinfall reversal sequence gets a lot of two counts. Angle is the only one left and hits the moonsault on Hardy for two again as Anderson is still down. Angle and Anderson go at it and block each others’ finishers.

And there goes the referee. Oh dang it. Everyone is down and here comes Eric with a chair. And here it comes. This is what TNA has spent the last 4 months building to. And what a shock: HULK IS HERE! Or at least his music is here. Yep there he is but on crutches. He needs help getting into the ring which I don’t buy.

Hulk looks ticked at Eric who throws the chair out and wipes his hands. Hardy stumbles to his feet on the floor and gets in. Both Bischoff and Hogan have crutches and Hogan gives Jeff his. Angle is up. Hardy pops Angle with the crutch and Hogan points at Jeff. Yes, it appears that Jeff Hardy, the most popular star in the world, is part of They. Twist of Fate to Anderson, and Hardy is world champion.

Rating: B. Ending aside obviously, this was a solid main event. It felt like a big match, but then again I would prefer a singles match for the title. That’s the traditionalist in me talking but if there is a match to end the biggest show of the year, only on very special occasions (this isn’t one of them) should it not be one on one for the world title.

For the first time in his singles career, Hardy was a full fledged heel, but unfortunately he would be third in command of the new Immortal faction at best. Hardy would hold the title for a few months before dropping Sting on television. Soon after that the two would have a rematch in one of the most infamous moments in wrestling history. Hardy would show up barely able to walk and would be defeated in a one move match. That would be it for Jeff for several months as he left to clean up his life before returning late in the year. After a few months he would enter a feud with Kurt Angle due to Kurt’s child being a Hardy fan. From Lockdown 2012.

Kurt Angle vs. Jeff Hardy

Angle said that he and Hardy could match HHH vs. Undertaker here and he’s had a great track record at this show so hopefully he continues that here. Hardy’s paint is black and white here. There’s this, the world title and the Knockout Tag Titles left so the show still has a small chance. Angle’s thigh is taped due to a legit injury. Kurt pounds him in the corner to start but Jeff comes back with the legdrop between the legs.

They’re going very slowly here but it might be a slow build. Jeff whips him into the corner and hits the slingshot dropkick but he’s holding his neck. Jeff seems to be ok though and he pounds Angle down in the corner. Kurt slams him into the cage which had a great sound. Snap suplex gets two. Back into the cage as it’s pretty clear Kurt is nowhere near 100%. It looks like Jeff is busted a bit but you can’t see that well.

Kurt rams him into the cage again and walks around a lot. Oh yeah Jeff is busted. Jeff comes back with a clothesline and both guys are down. Things speed up again and Jeff comes back with some forearms. Whisper in the Wind gets two. Twisting Stunner puts Kurt down and he loads up the Swanton, but Angle runs the corner and hits a GREAT Angle Slam out of the corner for a close two. Kurt goes for the door but Jeff dives for the leg. Angle pounds on his head and goes for the climb over but Jeff pulls him back. Now Jeff goes up and knocks Kurt back, hitting a standing top rope Vader Bomb for two.

Both guys are down again and it’s Hardy up first. He goes for the door but Kurt grabs the ankle and puts on the ankle lock. Jeff counters into the ankle lock on Angle (on the good leg) but Kurt rolls out. Twist of Fate puts Angle down and Jeff goes for the corner. Swanton connects but he goes up again and hits a second one which gets two. Kurt pulls him head first into the cage and the Angle Slam gets two. Hardy counters the Slam into one of his own before going all the way to the top of the cage for a super Swanton for the pin at 14:48.

Rating: B+. While it’s not as good as Kurt’s other matches, this was a HUGE step up over what the rest of this show has been. I don’t ever remember my heart being in my throat for a spot more than that Swanton though as I thought he was going to kill himself. Angle’s injury slowed this a lot but it was still a very good match and a major help that this show needed.

Hardy would spend the summer competing in the Bound For Glory Series, eventually winning the competition and earning a title match against Austin Aries at Bound For Glory 2012.

TNA World Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Austin Aries

The fans are pretty much split which isn’t what they were hoping for I don’t think. We start with a long feeling out process and we have roughly half an hour for this. They head to the mat and Hardy actually keeps up with the champ (Aries is defending if I didn’t mention that) until they head to the corner for the slingshot dropkick. Aries comes back and puts Hardy on the apron for a slingshot ax handle. He takes a victory lap and then one in reverse.

Back in and Hardy gets two off a suplex. They’re still in first gear here and that’s fine. Jeff knocks Aries to the floor and mocks Aries. The fans don’t seem pleased with Jeff so he jumps off the apron with an ax handle of his own. Jeff charges at Aries but Hardy crashes into the barricade and hits Aries at the same time. Back in and Aries gets two off a top rope splash. Aries charges into a boot in the corner and the crowd is probably 80% pro Aries.

A backbreaker gets two for the champ and it’s off to an abdominal stretch on the mat. Aries takes him down again and hits a corkscrew plancha for two. Hardy blocks the Last Chancery and hits something Big Show used to call the Alley Oop. He sets for a powerbomb but throws Aries backwards instead of forwards. Show’s was a bit slower but it’s the same move. Hardy makes his comeback and hits the low dropkick for two.

Whisper in the Wind gets two and the fans have quieted down a bit. Twist of Fate is countered and Aries is knocked to the floor. Hardy misses a slingshot and there’s the suicide dive to drive Jeff into the barricade. Another dive takes Hardy out again with this one getting two in the ring. Aries is busted but nowhere near what Storm was earlier. There’s the Last Chancery but Jeff escapes quickly.

They head to the ramp and Jeff can’t hit the Twist, but rather gets clotheslined into the ropes. Aries drops him on his head, sending the back of Jeff’s head into the edge of the ramp. And people wonder why he’s a drug addict. A missile dropkick sends Jeff into the corner but he comes out with the Twist for two. Jeff loads up the Swanton but gets crotched and super ranaed down from a double standing position. That looked awesome. Corner dropkick sets up the Brainbuster for two and Aries is STUNNED. Aries puts Jeff on top but gets knocked off and the Swanton gives Jeff the title at 23:04.

Rating: B+. This was a good main event but after the Aces and 8’s stuff, this came off a bit flat. Also, TNA REALLY needs to mix up their main event styles. The kicking out of finishers and then the pin soon thereafter can only take you so far and they’ve done it for years now. Watch a few TNA PPV main events and the formulas are almost always the same. Hardy winning is the right choice but it doesn’t feel like a huge moment at all for the most part. Still though, a quite good match.

Hardy is one of the few classic stories in wrestling history as he rose from lowly tag wrestler to tag team star to midcard sensation to world champion and one of the biggest stars in the world. He’s been successful everywhere he’s been and has put on some of the most entertaining matches you’ll find. That of course leaves you with the white elephant that is his substance abuse. They’ve held down what could have been a legendary career but he’s more than a success either way.

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NXT – February 12, 2014: At Least We Have HHH

NXT
Date: February 12, 2014
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Alex Riley, William Regal, Renee Young

The big story at the moment is the build to the February 27 supershow, but the problem with that is the main show taking over NXT more and more every week. HHH’s cameos are becoming a regular thing as JBL as GM is rapidly being forgotten. I always knew that once NXT stopped being its own thing it would stop being as fun and that’s slowly starting to happen. Let’s get to it.

Welcome Home.

Natalya/Bayley/Emma vs. BFF’s

It’s Alicia Fox/Summer Rae/Sasha Banks here and Emma vs. Paige is official for NXT Arrival on the 27th. Emma takes Summer down to start before it’s off to Natalya vs. Sasha as the Canadian counters Banks’ wristlock into a quick suplex for two. Bayley comes in for a snapmare and slam but Fox gets the tag and dropkicks her down for two as we take a break.

Back with Summer holding Bayley in a seated full nelson before getting rolled up for two. Riley spends most of the match talking about his crush on Emma. Off to Banks for a front facelock as Renee asks Regal what he’s doing for Valentine’s Day. Regal: “Whatever you like my dear.” Fox gets two off a northern lights suplex with that nice bridge before we hit the chinlock on Bayley.

Back to Summer for some stretching and choking on the apron until Bayley finally counters a suplex to get a breather. The hot tag brings in Emma who cleans house until Alicia kicks her in the face. Sasha, Summer and Charlotte walk out on Alicia, allowing Emma to hook the Emma Lock for the submission from Fox at 7:28 shown of 10:58.

Rating: C-. There’s something about these Divas that you just don’t get with the WWE Divas. These girls are…..what’s the word I’m looking for…..oh yeah: competent. The match on Raw was absolutely dreadful and while this wasn’t great, it certainly wasn’t a chore to sit through and felt much more fun than the Bellas being all serious and wanting to be taken seriously while clearly being there as eye candy and due to who they’re sleeping with.

Aiden English vs. Colin Cassady

English’s song tonight is about how he’s the one in the ring while the fans watch. Cassady takes him into the corner to start and gets two off a slam. English comes back with a running neckbreaker and some hard forearms to the chest for two of his own. A reverse neckbreaker gets the same but Cass is all fired up now. He spells out SAWFT before blasting English in the back with a forearm, only to have English kick him in the knee and finish with the Director’s Cut at 1:23.

Here’s Sami Zayn to ask Cesaro for another 2/3 falls match in the ring as Cesaro requested. Sami isn’t proud of how many times he’s watched that match and noticed every mistake he’s made. His career has always been about moving forward but for the first time he can’t do it. Even after watching the footage as many times as he has, he can’t figure out the final mistake that cost him the match.

This brings out Cesaro who says this is starting to sound pathetic. Cesaro says there was no one moment in that match that cost Zayn because Antonio is just better. Zayn can look at that one match as a crystal http://findviagra.com ball for his entire career: coming up just a hair short. Sami says the two of them go back for years around the world and he respects Cesaro for everything he’s accomplished.

Cesaro is here because he’s a true competitor who will fight anyone anywhere, except for Sami. Zayn would like a reason why but Cesaro avoids the question by asking how many times he has to beat Sami to get the point across. Zayn thinks Antonio is afraid because they bring out the best in each other and Cesaro can’t beat him at his best. Anotnio asks Sami about his knee and Zayn isn’t comfortable answering. Cesaro agrees to one last match if there are no excuses when Sami loses.

Zayn agrees to the terms and the fans want a pinkie promise. Sami holds out his pinkie and Cesaro does the same, only to say it’s still no and kick Zayn in the knee. This brings out HHH BECAUSE WE JUST CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT HIM! HHH says the fans want the match so it’s on for Arrival. Heaven forbid Sami gets to come back and make Cesaro want to have the match, because we’ve got HHH on ANOTHER being the nice boss for this week.

CJ Parker vs. Tye Dillinger

Parker still looks like an idiot dancing around like he does. Dillinger takes him down with a front facelock and the fans chant purple power, apparently impressed by Dillnger’s trunks. CJ comes back with an airplane spin and the Third Eye for the pin at 1:20.

Post match Parker asks why people hate him. He reduces, reuses and recycles and even drives a car getting 40 miles a gallon. Parker should be booing us for melting his ice caps and spilling oil on his planet. The NXT fans are destroying the Earth because they don’t love anyone or anything. From this moment forward, he doesn’t love us either. I can’t say I’ve ever seen an environmentalist in wrestling so at least it’s new and thankfully we don’t have to sit through Parker as a face anymore.

Wyatt Family vs. Jason Jordan/Marcus Louis

Even Bray is here for this one. Harper takes Louis into the corner with stomps to the ribs before it’s off to Rowan for a fallaway slam and a splash before the discus lariat from Harper gets the pin in 59 seconds.

Jordan gets Sister Abigail. Bray talks about grown men trembling at the sound of the Family’s footsteps. They have conquered this world but haven’t forgotten where they came from. Follow the buzzards.

Overall Rating: C. They’re clearly just running on fumes until they get to Arrival, but at least we have HHH to carry us there! This was basically a throwaway show with only the Sami vs. Cesaro showdown being worth watching. I’m hoping they just forget about this show once Arrival is over and let it get back to being the awesome show it used to be.

Results

Emma/Bayley/Natalya b. BFF’s – Emma Lock to Fox

Aiden English b. Colin Cassady – Director’s Cut

CJ Parker b. Tye Dillinger – Third Eye

Wyatt Family b. Jason Jordan/Marcus Louis – Discus lariat to Louis

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Monday Night Raw – April 22, 2002: A Very Slight Improvement

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 22, 2002
Location: Savvis Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Thankfully we’re past Backlash but Hulk Hogan is once again WWF Champion after winning one of the most boring main events in recorded history last night. The result: he gets another match with Undertaker at Judgment Day as we drag this company even further back into the 90s. Hopefully the show is more interesting than last week’s mess. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the title change last night to make everyone feel good. Uh yeah….good is the right word.

Brock Lesnar vs. Matt Hardy

Matt comes in through the crowd to get in a cheap shot on Brock but Lesnar comes back with a spinebuster to reinjure the damaged ribs. Three straight backbreakers have Hardy in even more trouble and there’s a bearhug for good measure. Brock misses a charge into the post and injures his arm so Matt wraps it around the post. A Side Effect sets up a pair of legdrops off the ropes but Brock easily counters the Twist of Fate into the F5. A spinning powerbomb is enough for the referee to stop the match before Matt’s dead body starts decomposing.

Rating: C-. Not a total squash but it was exactly what it needed to be. Brock comes off like a monster who just destroyed a former multiple time champion. The Hardys were on the down side of their team career at this point but they were still good to be fed to Lesnar like pieces of tattooed meat.

Some tech guys are annoyed at Flair for costing Austin the title shot last night despite it being an honest mistake. Undertaker pops up and says he owes Flair one.

Here’s Undertaker with something to say. He thanks Flair for a job well done last night and says he would have won no matter who was refereeing last night. This takes a bit longer than it should due to the WHAT treatment. Now he gets to go to Judgment Day to face Hulk Hogan and the nostalgia trip. Hogan can thank him later for giving him the victory over HHH, but at Judgment Day Undertaker is Hulkamania’s judge, jury and executioner.

As Undertaker is talking, here’s HHH coming down to the ring and wanting a fight. Undertaker rightly points out that only champions can be on both shows but it’s HHH so rules don’t apply I guess. The fight is on and heads outside with HHH in control and blasting Undertaker in the head with a monitor. Referees finally drag HHH off but he beats them up too and goes after the bloody Undertaker. They fight into the back with HHH throwing Undertaker into various objects before pulling out a sledgehammer. Referees finally break it up before any murdering occurs.

And now: Booker T and Goldust at the Movies! Today’s feature: the Scorpion King. Goldust talks about deep meanings in the film but Booker says just roll the footage. Booker liked the movie but thinks he would have been a better star. We get another clip with Booker (in wrestling gear) superimposed over Rock. “I’m a five time WCW Champion. AND I GOT A SWORD TOO!” Goldust has the same kind of clip and it’s rather disturbing. Booker: “If you had starred in this movie, it would have been the Scorpion QUEEN!”

William Regal, old villain that he is, liked Flair’s officiating last night.

Rob Van Dam vs. Mr. Perfect

Intercontinental Champion Eddie Guerrero is on commentary and offers a distraction to let Perfect get in a cheap shot. They head outside with Van Dam scoring with a moonsault from the apron and heading back inside. Eddie rips on JR in Spanish with Jerry cracking up. Back in and Rob misses a kick but hits the second attempt for two. Rolling Thunder connects for two more and Perfect gets the same off a rollup with his feet on the ropes. Not that it matters as Rob kicks him again and the Five Star is good for the pin.

Eddie immediately gets in the ring and lays out RVD but misses the Frog Splash.

We get a Hogan Flashback to his first title win, just a short 18 years ago.

Trish Stratus/Jacqueline vs. Molly Holly/Jazz

Jackie grabs a headlock on Molly to start before hiptossing her down. Trish gets to come in and get a piece of Jazz, avoiding a charge into the corner and cranking on Jazz’s arm. Jazz gets in a shot to Trish’s bad back before slamming her down by the hair. Jackie and Molly come back in as everything breaks down. Trish is whipped HARD into the steps and Jazz hits Jackie with the belt, allowing Molly to pin her off a clothesline. That whip into the steps made up for the short match.

Arn Anderson doesn’t know if he can trust Flair after last night either.

Here’s Flair to talk about the Austin situation from last night. It was an accident and he totally respects Austin and doesn’t want a war. Austin comes out and with a lot of WHATs, says he doesn’t care how many titles Flair has won. Flair cuts him off and says it’s 16 before offering Austin a peace treaty: a match with Bradshaw as his partner against the NWO. Guess how Austin reacts.

Dudley Boys vs. Goldust/Booker T

Spike dives on Booker and Goldust during their entrances and we start fast. Bubba chops Goldust to start and sends him into the corner for some right hands to the ribs and a belly to back suplex. The middle rope backsplash misses and it’s Goldust with right hands of his own. Bubba comes right back with the Flip Flop and Fly and Spike comes in off the top with a double stomp for two.

Booker finally does something by kneeing Spike in the back, allowing Goldust to clothesline him to the floor. T keeps up his offense by sending Spike into the steps and then comes in to stomp in the corner. A big flapjack (Spike sells that so well) puts the little man down and it’s back to Goldie who gets rolled up for a quick two. Off to a sleeper from Goldust but Spike gets free and kicks him away, allowing the tag to Bubba.

The future Bully cleans house and shouts “COME ON YOU BIG BLACK MAN” at Booker before taking him down with a side slam. The fans want tables as Bubba drops a bunch of elbows, dances, and drops another elbow. Spike adds a top rope seated senton for two on Booker and Bubba wants some tables. Bubba goes to get one on his own, allowing Booker to hit a quick ax kick for the pin on Spike.

Rating: D+. Standard tag team formula here but it’s nothing interesting at all. With the Tag Titles over on Smackdown, these matches are really just filling time and not going anywhere. It also doesn’t help that Booker and Goldust are a funny team but still portrayed as heels. Well closer to heel than faces at least.

Post match Steven Richards comes out to try and steal the Hardcore Title but Spike makes the save and lets Bubba powerbomb Richards through the table.

Tommy Dreamer runs into Shawn Stasiak and Shawn isn’t pleased. Oh wait it’s PLANET Stasiak here, whatever that means. Regal comes up to laugh and winds up with a match against Stasiak.

William Regal vs. Shawn Stasiak

Brass knuckles, no bell, pin for Regal anyway in 12 seconds. Why the referee counted while literally watching Regal put the knuckles in his trunks is beyond me.

Bradshaw is out cold in the back and Flair thinks he knows whodunit.

Flair goes to find Hall and X-Pac and Kevin Nash walks out of a bathroom. Nash gets ejected and Big Show is added as Austin’s partner. I knew Big Show was joining that night when I saw this live.

Hogan comes out for his big celebration but just says he showed Vince and thanks the fans. Hulkamania is running wild and all that jazz you see.

Big Show/Steve Austin vs. NWO

X-Pac tries a spinwheel kick on Big Show and just bounces off. Hall comes in and is shoved down as well (JR: “Like a cheeseburger!”) so he wants Austin. Steve cleans house but gets caught by a knee lift from Hall followed by some right hands. Back to X-Pac and it’s spinebusters all around for the NWO. Big Show doesn’t seem interested in helping Austin deal with the double teaming.

A series of chops have X-Pac in trouble and Austin stomps a mudhole in both NWO members at the same time. Austin misses a charge and crotches himself on the ropes to give the NWO a few moments of control. A quick Thesz Press and middle finger elbow have Hall in trouble but X-Pac makes the save to stop any comeback.

Austin fights out of an abdominal stretch, only to walk into a clothesline for a few two counts. X-Pac comes back in but gets pounded in the face very quickly. Austin gets taken down by a spinwheel kick and it’s back to Hall for some running clotheslines in the corner. They trade sleepers until Austin fights out and tags Big Show, who immediately chokeslams Austin for the no contest.

Rating: D+. Boy it sure is convenient that Flair picked someone about to join the NWO. Of course Flair wasn’t in on it or anything (not being sarcastic) so the whole thing is a stretch, even by wrestling logic. The match sucked as you would expect it to with the NWO just not being an interesting concept at all.

Overall Rating: D+. It’s a more energetic show with less (though still existing) stupid moments. They had nowhere to go but up after last week so it’s not a huge compliment but I could at least tolerate this episode. Austin vs. Flair just isn’t doing it for me and I don’t think many people felt differently. There’s just not much to care about right now and it’s showing badly. Also: they managed to last a month without screwing up the Brand Extension. That’s better than I expected.

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