Monday Night Raw
Date: August 30, 2004
Location: Cow Palace, San Francisco, California
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This was a request from a long time ago and I have no idea why anyone wanted to see it. We’re just past Summerslam 2004, meaning Orton is the world champion, having beaten Benoit at Summerslam, only to be thrown out of Evolution the next night. We’re coming up on Unforgiven where HHH would make it VERY clear who ruled Raw and Heaven help anyone that thought otherwise. Let’s get to it.

We open with an In Memory Of graphic for Marcin Makulski, a graphics designer for WWE who died either that day or over the weekend.

The opening video shows HHH throwing Orton out of Evolution and Orton spitting in his face.

Here’s Evolution for their weekly ten minute chat. HHH says this unit exists because he invented it. It’s his blood, sweat and heart that makes the team what it is today. Just ask Ric Flair, who was down in the dumps before HHH saved him. Batista had no direction or guidance until HHH showed him the way. Dude just say you think you’re Jesus already. That brings HHH to Orton who was supposed to be the pet project. No one cared if Orton lived or died until HHH got hold of him. HHH wasn’t done with him yet, but Orton spat in his face. That’s how he repays HHH?

This brings out Orton who stands next to what appear to be three covered up pictures. Orton tells HHH to call him champ instead of Randy in a nice line. HHH is right: he gave Orton a chance to make a name for himself and HHH should be thanked for that. HHH got something out of it as well though, which leads to the first picture being revealed: a group shot of Evolution with HHH front and center. The team was never about the past, present and future, but only about protecting HHH.

The Game goes into a tirade on how Evolution is all about him because he made it. Orton is one to talk about protection because the three of them protected him for over a year. Randy reveals picture #2: him pinning Chris Benoit all by himself, something HHH could never do.

The third picture is Orton spitting in HHH’s face, making Trips even angrier than before. Orton is ready to fight if HHH wants a piece, but we’re not waiting for Unforgiven. Randy takes off his shirt, but realizes it would be 3-1. He goes over to the third picture and pulls out a sledgehammer. HHH ducks a swing that would have killed him and bails into the crowd, leaving Orton to pose in the ring. Good ending to the segment but it didn’t need to take fifteen minutes.

After a break Bischoff is yelling at Orton for swinging the hammer. As a punishment, Orton is thrown out of the building. Did I mention HHH is facing Eugene later tonight? Orton drops the hammer on Bischoff’s foot.

We recap Rock making a shocking appearance last week to beat up La Resistance with a slight assist from Rhyno and Tajiri.

Rhyno/Tajiri vs. La Resistance/Coach

Rob Conway (who, as of this writing on December 17, 2013, is the NWA World Champion of all people) pounds on Rhyno to start before it’s off to Sylvan Grenier for some neck cranking. The French Canadian tag champions hold Rhyno for a slip from Coach for two as this is already boring. Back to Grenier for a chinlock until Rhyno fights up and makes his comeback with clotheslines. Tajiri keeps getting kicked off the apron to keep him out as Rhyno Gores Coach down. Rhyno walks into Au Revoir (spinning suplex/side slam combo) for the pin.

Rating: D-. Oh my goodness how bad was the tag division at this point? I’m assuming Tajiri was injured or something here as he never came in at all. The match was really dull stuff with La Resistance being one of the least interesting multiple time champions ever and having no opponents of note at all. Terribly uninteresting match.

Papa Roach is here.

We recap Kane and Lita’s wedding which saw a failed run-in from Matt Hardy to try to save the reluctant Lita. Kane’s white tuxedo does rather rule.

Kane tells someone off screen to not come out until he tells them to. It’s not Lita.

Eugene tells Regal about how much he loves baseball and gets on Regal’s nerves. Regal doesn’t want Eugene to come out there for Regal’s match with Batista.

William Regal vs. Batista

Regal beat Flair last week with the help of the brass knuckles to set this up. Batista takes Regal into the corner to start and shrugs off a shoulder block attempt. Some knees and elbows have Regal in more trouble but he avoids a charge into the corner and gets a nice suplex on Big Dave. The knee trembler gets two but Regal walks into the spinebuster. Batista goes outside to get a chair but it’s just a distraction so Flair can get in a brass knuckle shot to Regal’s ribs. Batista’s running clothesline (the Batista Bomb was still coming) is good for the pin. Just a squash to wrap up some ends from last week.

Smackdown Your Vote: Republican version. This was a voting drive kind of deal the company did for both parties to get 18-30 year olds involved in politics. Shawn, Ivory and Linda McMahon are representing here.

Here’s Stacy to emcee the Diva Search segment. The Diva Search was exactly what it sounds like and basically filled in the Diva division for about five years. We get the five finalists (Christy Hemme, Carmella Descarse, Joy Giovanni, Maria Kinellis and Amy Weber, all of whom were hired) in swimsuits. Maria gets eliminated despite being arguably the most famous of the final five. She flips Carmella off on the way out and gets the only pop of the segment.

All four of the remaining finalists get thirty seconds to insult the other girls. Joy feels Amy up, spanks Christy and says Carmella has a big mouth. Amy tells Joy to learn how to lick a pie, Christy to settle down and that Carmella knows “S*** about wrestling and that having a c*** in your a** has nothing to do with wrestling.” MAN this was a different era.

Carmella makes fun of Amy for being rejected for Playboy, calls Joy fat and hopes Christy wins if she doesn’t. Christy says don’t mess with fire because she’ll get burned. Amy has fat lips and Carmella enjoys swallowing male bodily fluids in a gutter. Christy does the splits and that’s it. Christy would wind up winning this, even though the most successful of all the girls in the Search had been eliminated weeks ago: Michelle McCool. To say this was extreme compared to the Bellas and Total Divas is an understatement.

Trish Stratus and Tyson Tomko make fun of Lita in the back. Kane gets in Tomko’s face to stand up for his wife but winds up laughing with them. Another sign of the times: Kane has six pack abs.

Here are Kane and Lita for Lita’s wedding present. After mentioning an open contract for Unforgiven, Kane thanks her for giving his unborn child a womb to grow in and has a surprise for her as a reward. Matt isn’t here tonight but Kane has flown in his family. The fans go nuts at the thought of Jeff Hardy returning but instead it’s a bunch of random guys, including Pat Hardy, Nat Hardy, Rat Hardy and a 400lb Samoan named Fat Hardy. Kane destroys all of them and chokeslams Rat for a pin since that apparently that was a match.

Kane raises his arms for the fire but Lita says hang on a second because she has a surprise for him too. See, they’re married now and can sign legal documents for each other, such as that open contract. Kane laughs it off because Matt Hardy won’t be able to fight by Unforgiven. Lita is aware of this, which is why she signed Kane to face Shawn Michaels. Kane injured Shawn a few weeks ago, even though he was fine for the voting thing about fifteen minutes ago.

Ric Flair vs. Chris Benoit

This should be good. Flair is checked for brass knuckles and the referee actually finds some in his knee pad. Ric takes him into the corner to start but Benoit fights out with chops and a bad looking backdrop. A quick Crossface attempt doesn’t work as Flair makes the rope and we go outside for more chopping. Back in and Flair Flops face first on the mat but comes back with a quick chop block.

Ric fires away with chops and kicks at the knee in the corner before doing what was supposed to be a strut. There’s a half crab of all things on Benoit as Flair needs a breather. They chop it out again until Benoit enziguris him down. Benoit misses the Swan Dive but rolls the Germans anyway. A Sharpshooter almost makes Flair tap but Batista comes in for the DQ.

Rating: C. This is one of those matches that would have been better five years ago with an extra fifteen minutes but at this point it was a shell of what it should have been. Benoit didn’t look like his usual self here but the German suplexes looked great. Flair was starting to slip out there and it was on the verge of getting sad.

Batista powerbombs Benoit.

Here’s Jericho for the Highlight Reel with special guest Edge. We get a clip from Jericho challenging Edge for the IC Title and getting dropped throat first on the top rope to retain Edge’s title. It may or may not have been intentional, but Jericho wants a rematch at Unforgiven. Edge comes out on crutches but Jericho doesn’t seem convinced. The champion says he tore his groin over the weekend and claims that he doesn’t need to get disqualified to keep his title.

Jericho talks about Edge getting booed out of Toronto at Summerslam and starts a Y2J chant here in San Francisco. Edge calls the fans puppets and says Jericho can win the popularity contests because he’ll keep winning the matches. Jericho questions the need for Edge’s crutches and thinks as soon as he turns his back, Edge will bash him over the head. Edge says he has the MRI to prove that he’s injured and promises Jericho the first title shot when he’s healed. The champion goes to leave when Christian returns to jump Jericho. Edge looks confused as Christian whips Jericho with a belt.

Trish Stratus/Gail Kim vs. Nidia/Victoria

This is Trish’s first match since June even though she never lost the title. Trish and Nidia get things going but Trish gets in a cheap shot to Victoria on the apron. Nidia is easily taken down and kicked in the ribs by the evil Stratus before it’s off to Gail. Kim puts on a freaky looking armbar with her leg wrapped around Nidia’s neck but lets it go a few seconds later. We get the unseen tag as Nidia fights to Victoria but Trish had the referee. Lucky guy.

The tag goes through a few seconds later anyway and Victoria cleans house, getting two on Gail off the spinning side slam. Victoria can’t hit a big boot and has the Widow’s Peak countered, allowing Gail to put on a modified Sharpshooter. Before Victoria can tap a mystery woman falls down the ramp, distracting Gail enough for Victoria to get a rollup for the pin.

Rating: C+. Gail looked great in her white shorts and evil Trish is one of the hottest things you’ll ever see in wrestling. You add some awesome looking holds from Kim and I can almost forgive the mystery woman (Steven Richards in drag for no apparent reason) being such a stupid ending.

Smackdown ReBound shows Eddie destroying Angle’s car, which wound up being Teddy Long’s. Angle was behind it and gets a 2/3 falls match against Eddie. That was such an awesome feud. Eddie vs. Angle, not Teddy. We also see Orlando Jordan defending the world title against Undertaker in place of an injured JBL. Layfield saved the title while wearing his AWESOME neck halo with his cowboy hat on top.

A sore footed Bischoff makes Orton vs. Kane for next week.

We run down the Unforgiven card.

HHH vs. Eugene

No DQ. Eugene comes out in a poorly buttoned San Francisco Giants jersey to suck up to the crowd. You would think he would get how serious this was after HHH beat him up at Summerslam. HHH jumps him again here but Eugene comes back with headlocks and something resembling an AA. Back up and Eugene gets two off a backslide before heading right back to the headlock. HHH comes back with a stiff right hand and a low blow to take over.

Eugene is thrown over the top rope, injuring his arm in the process. HHH of course pounds away on the injured slow guy because he can be a good heel when he tries. No sarcasm in that if you’re looking for any. Back in and Eugene walks into a spinebuster followed by the knee drop so HHH can strut around a bit more. Eugene gets rammed into the buckles but it’s Hulk Up time. He slugs HHH down and hits a top rope ax handle for two followed by an old school thumb to the eye.

A Rock Bottom looks to set up a Stunner but HHH grabs a sleeper. HHH: “ROCK A BYE BABY EUGENE!” Eugene is almost out but HHH lets go before the third arm drop. It didn’t work for Adrian Adonis back in 87 but at least HHH follows up with a Pedigree. HHH lets him up again and pulls out the hammer, only to have Orton (in wrestling gear after wearing a suit earlier for no apparent reason) to take the hammer away. A shot to the ribs and an RKO put HHH down and Orton puts Eugene on top for what is supposed to be some huge moment.

Rating: D+. Well that happened. Anyone who has watched wrestling for more than five minutes in their lives knew that Orton was going to cost HHH the match, but it’s not like this really means anything. It doesn’t help when Eugene didn’t move for the last five minutes of the show after a sleeper and a Pedigree.

Overall Rating: D. It’s easy to see why Batista and Cena needed to rise up very soon. This was just boring for the most part, but Orton looked like a star in the making. That’s the perfect explanation for why he lost the title to HHH at the PPV and wouldn’t win another world title for over three years. HHH crippled that push so hard it’s almost unfathomable, but at least HHH got to get the title back after letting other people have it for a full five months. Boring show, as expected from this time period.

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In Your House #12: It’s Time
Date: December 15, 1996
Location: West Palm Beach Auditorium, West Palm Beach, Florida
Attendance: 5,708
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Vince McMahon

 

The title of this show was odd and a good example of how fast things can change in wrestling. It’s Time was Vader’s catchphrase and tonight was supposed to be a showcase of him as the new WWF Champion, but obviously that didn’t happen. Actually Vader isn’t even on the card due to an injury, making the title all the more inappropriate.  Let’s get to it.

 

The opening video shows quick clips of Bret and Sid with the words IT’S TIME in between.

 

Lawler promises to knock Shawn out if he comes out for commentary.

 

Leif Cassidy vs. Flash Funk

 

Cassidy is more famous as Al Snow but is one half of the New Rockers here. Funk is more famous as 2 Cold Scorpio and is basically a pimp without calling him as much. He has Funkettes and funk music, basically making him the original Brodus Clay. Even Vince dances to the theme song a bit. After a long dance sequence by Funk and his girls we’re ready to go. Funk shoves Cassidy into the ropes to start and dances a bit, only angering Leif as a result.

 

They trade wristlocks until Flash spins around and grabs an armbar on the mat. Cassidy spins up but a flying snap mare takes him right back down. Funk flips out of a Boston crab attempt and takes Leif down into a headlock. Back up and Flash tries to go up but slips off the ropes, only to pop back up and hit a cross body to set up another armbar. A headscissors out of the corner is countered into a reverse powerbomb by Cassidy and the Rocker takes over.

 

Cassidy blocks a right hand and traps Funk’s arms for some headbutts, followed by a belly to belly over the top and out to the floor. Leif follows it up with a springboard moonsault to the floor in a great looking dive. Back in and we hit the chinlock but Flash fights up and dances a bit more. Another powerbomb attempt by Cassidy is countered and Flash lands on his feet, dancing again. Leif comes back with a sitout spinebuster for a very delayed two count. Off to a modified dragon sleeper but Leif lets him go very quickly for some reason.

 

Funk avoids a middle rope moonsault as you can see a lot of empty seats not that far from the ring. Funk hits the ropes and cartwheels into a spinning enziguri, sending Leif out tot he floor. Another big dive takes Cassidy down before a gorgeous top rope moonsault gets two for Funk. They trade some quick rollups for two each until Flash scores with an enziguri and the Funky Flash Splash (450 and yes that’s the real name) gets the pin. We even get a rare error from JR who calls it a Shooting Star Press.

 

Rating: B-. This took awhile to get going but for its time, this was pretty awesome. Funk is a personal favorite of mine who could fly like few other mainstream guys at this time. Cassidy was no slouch either but it would take an absurd gimmick to get him noticed, which is a shame at the end of the day.

 

Tag Titles: Diesel/Razor Ramon vs. Owen Hart/British Bulldog

 

This is the story that I didn’t want to get to earlier on but I’m stuck with it now. No these aren’t the real Hall and Nash returning, but rather people that JR brought in and who are being used as something resembling a parody of the guys who were on top of the wrestling world at this point.

 

Originally JR talked about how the person didn’t actually matter and the gimmicks were what got Hall and Nash over, which is actually a nice jab at them. That didn’t last long though and eventually became a basic parody, though Rick Bogner (Fake Razor) looks like he’s wearing a Razor Ramon costume and mask. Glenn Jacobs (Fake Diesel) actually looks like the real thing from behind and when he’s wearing sunglasses, making him far more bearable in the costume. We’ll be hearing from Jacobs again in a few months.

 

As for the match, the idea is that the champions are having problems because Steve Austin has been messing with their heads. Diesel starts with Owen as JR gets into full analytical mode now that some of his buddies are in there. Diesel drives Owen into the corner and fires off some elbows before shoving Owen off the ropes. Owen comes back with some right hands but gets slammed down with ease. Two guys from Mexican wrestling company AAA named Pierroth and Cibernetico are in the aisle to distract the Bulldog for some reason.

 

Off to Bulldog vs. Razor with the latter doing a pretty decent imitation of the real Razor’s mannerisms, but the whole thing falls apart as soon as you see his face. Bulldog fires off some forearms as the AAA guys leave, only to be replaced by Austin. Bulldog hits a quick cross body but goes to the floor to get in a fight with Austin. Steve is taken to the back but the distraction allows Razor to hit a spinning right hand, sending Bulldog into the corner for a tag off to Owen.

 

Hart gets a quick two off a missile dropkick but Diesel pulls the top rope down to send him out to the floor. Diesel rams Owen back first into the post before sending him back in for an armbar from Razor. Off to Diesel for a sidewalk slam but he stomps away instead of covering. Ramon comes back in and hits a pumphandle fall away slam for two before grabbing a reverse chinlock. The fans are almost entirely behind the champions, despite them being huge heels at this point.

 

Diesel gets two off a big boot (which clearly missed by several inches) but the fans all think he sucks. Owen gets a boot of his own up in the corner and takes Diesel down with a nice enziguri. There’s the hot tag off to Bulldog who cleans house with clotheslines and forearms all around. A quick vertical suplex gets two on Razor as everything breaks down. Owen is whipped into Diesel who catches him in midair but Bulldog dropkicks his partner in the back, sending them both to the floor. Owen slides back in to spinwheel kick Razor in the face to break up a Razor’s Edge attempt and score a quick pin to retain.

 

Rating: C-. As stupid as the gimmick was, the match wasn’t too bad at all. Diesel was actually very solid in the ring and would be around for many more years under a different gimmick. Razor was just kind of there though and the match was definitely weaker when he was in the ring. Not bad stuff for the most part though.

 

Post match Austin immediately hits the ring for some cheap shots on the Bulldog, possibly injuring his knee.

 

Here’s Ahmed Johnson for an interview. He’s looking forward to the Royal Rumble for his shot at Faarooq because he’s lost everything due to the injury Faarooq caused. Johnson has lost his car, his girlfriend and his house so now it’s time for revenge. All he has left are the people, but before he can go into that here’s the Nation of Domination, Faarooq’s semi-militant black power group. Faarooq goes into a rant about how Johnson’s people have no future but everyone is looking to Faarooq for their hope. Johnson wants to fight right now and starts his trademark YOU’RE GOING DOWN chant.

 

We recap Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Marc Mero for the Intercontinental title. Helmsley took the title from Mero the night after Buried Alive with Mero replacing Mr. Perfect. It turns out that Perfect had been grooming Helmsley to steal the title from Mero and their rift from a few months ago was all a ruse. Helmsley won the title and threw Perfect out of the WWF, leading to a rematch tonight.

 

Intercontinental Title: Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Marc Mero

 

Thankfully Helmsley has officially been nicknamed HHH by this point, making my typing far easier. The champion grabs a hammerlock and takes Mero down to the mat, only to be countered into a hammerlock as well. Back up and they fight over a top wristlock before Mero scores with a hiptoss. A dropkick and clothesline put Helmsley on the floor and Mero hits a nice dive to take him out again.

 

Back in and Mero keeps the pressure on with a backdrop and some right hands in the corner, only to have HHH drop him face first on the buckle to take over. That doesn’t last long either though as a Pedigree attempt is countered into a backdrop over the top rope, sending HHH back to the floor. Mero gives chase but HHH hides behind Sable like the coward that he is. It’s Mero being sent into the steps now with the champion firmly in control.

 

Helmsley grabs a chair but the referee takes it away, only to allow Helmsley to send Mero into the steps again. Back in and a backbreaker puts Mero down again as Vince apologizes for satellite transmission problems. Another backbreaker gets two and we hit the abdominal stretch. It’s nice to see a basic story here and it’s working quite well. Things don’t have to be complicated to work which is a lesson so many wrestling companies and wrestlers in general can’t understand.

 

The referee catches HHH using the ropes for additional leverage and breaks up the hold, triggering a shoving match between referee Earl Hebner and the champion. This would actually become a recurring bit between the two of them over the years. Mero tries to speed things up but charges into a boot in the corner to put him down again. HHH goes up but dives into a boot to the face as well, giving Mero the breather he needed. A hard whip turns HHH upside down in the corner and a knee to the ribs puts him down again.

 

Mero gets two off a headscissors and a top rope hurricanrana looks to set up the Wild Thing. Helmsley is nothing if not resourceful though and sends Hebner into the ropes, crotching Mero down onto the buckle. The Pedigree is countered into a slingshot which sends Helmsley head first into the post but only gets a two count. A moonsault press (the Merosault) gets another two but Marc clotheslines the referee down.

 

Helmsley scores with a neckbreaker but there’s no one to count. The title belt is brought in but Mero avoids a shot to the head and gets a rolling cradle but there’s still no referee. Helmsley is whipped int the corner and goes flying to the outside where Mero scores with another dive. Cue Goldust for no apparent reason to swing another Intercontinental Title at HHH but hitting Mero by mistake. The referee is back up to count and only Mero gets back in to beat the count, earning a countout win. No title change though.

 

Rating: C. Again not a bad match at all with Mero still being great in the air and Helmsley really starting to get into the heel mode that would make him a legend. The Goldust stuff didn’t do much for me but he would be feuding with Helmsley more extensively soon enough. Good stuff here though.

 

Post match Mero hits the Wild Thing on HHH for fun. Goldust gets in some cheap shots in the aisle as his face push continues.

 

Sid is very happy to be here even though he and Shawn got in a brawl earlier this morning. Bret tried to intervene and took a beating from Sid as well. Sid whispers a lot, saying that he beat Shawn and Shawn beat Bret, ergo he can beat Bret.

 

We recap the Executioner vs. Undertaker, which should be obvious if you read the previous show. Undertaker was back at Survivor Series, basically looking like Batman and wearing a better looking outfit. The guy in the executioner’s mask is now known as Executioner if that wasn’t clear. He attacked Undertaker at Survivor Series but tonight it’s one on one.

 

Executioner vs. Undertaker

 

This is an Armageddon match, meaning after a fall the person who was pinned or submitted has a ten count to get to his feet. Basically it’s a last man standing match but the counts don’t start until after a fall. Executioner is former Freebird (legendary 80s team) Terry Gordy who was about ten miles past his prime here. Undertaker runs him over to start and backdrops Executioner before booting him in the face. A whip into the corner gets Executioner tied up in the Tree of Woe so Undertaker can stomp away even more.

 

He takes too much time glaring at Paul Bearer though and misses a splash in the corner. It doesn’t seem to affect Undertaker that much though as he’s right back up, only to miss an elbow drop. A clothesline puts Undertaker over the top but he lands on his feet and pulls Executioner to the floor. Paul blasts him with the urn to little effect but being sent into the post works a bit better. A clothesline puts Executioner back down though and Undertaker peels the mats back, only to have Mankind roll out from under the announce table to double team Undertaker down.

 

They head inside but Undertaker clotheslines both of them out to the floor and fights them up the aisle. Undertaker throws Mankind through the In Your House set window, punches him around the back and knocks him through the door as well. Executioner gets back up and they head back to ringside with Undertaker being caught by the numbers game again. Security comes out and spray mace at Mankind to little effect as the other two head back to the set. They brawl backstage and outside as Mankind has been put in a straitjacket.

 

The camera only shows us the steps and never goes outside with Undertaker and Executioner, so we cut back to the arena to see Mankind in the jacket stumbling around ringside. We finally get a camera outside and see a wide shot of Undertaker knocking Executioner into the water. He heads back inside to get some more of Mankind who charges at him while still in the straitjacket. Eventually a dry Executioner comes back to the ring and gets tombstoned for the easy pin and ten count.

 

Rating: D-. To call this a mess is an insult to messes. The Armageddon stuff was worthless because there wasn’t even a fall attempted until the very end. This was also the last major appearance for Executioner and I can’t say I’m surprised. He was just a generic big guy that never did anything of note. Terrible match here that was trying WAY too hard.

 

Bret looks at the video from earlier today with the three way fight between himself, Shawn and Sid, saying he wouldn’t put anything past Shawn. He gets cut off by Shawn’s music and is even more ticked off.

 

WWF World Title: Sycho Sid vs. Bret Hart

 

Shawn is on commentary due to getting the winner at the Royal Rumble and immediately jumps on Bret (verbally), blasting him for not putting people over and making it all about himself. Bret jumps Sid from behind and pounds away with Shawn still getting in jab after jab at him. A hard whip into the corner and a clothesline put Bret down though as the champion takes over. Sid hits a running kick to the side of the head before stomping away in the corner. Bret comes back with a shot to the ribs and drops some elbows as Shawn rips into Bret for his lack of emotion.

 

Sid punches him to the floor for nothing of note before going back inside where Bret gets backdropped right back to the floor. The mats are peeled back again but Bret pushes Sid into the post to break up an attempted powerbomb. Bret picks him up and rams him back first into the post before heading back inside for some kicks to the spine. Off to a reverse chinlock which is usually a heel move but Bret is a face, despite wrestling a heel style here. Sid is allegedly a heel but the fans like him, though not as much as Bret. 1996 was weird.

 

Bret stomps away in the corner but uses the referee’s break to untie a turnbuckle pad. Sid blocks a ram into the buckle but gets suplexed down for two. The Russian legsweep gets the same and Bret follows up with a snap suplex for no cover. A middle rope elbow to the back gets two more as Bret isn’t hooking the leg for some reason as per his custom, but for once the announcers are calling him out on it.

 

Bret goes up but gets slammed off and punched HARD in the face. There’s a big boot for two and Shawn makes sure to point out Sid hooking the leg. Sid misses an elbow drop but kicks Bret to the floor to break up the Sharpshooter. Cue Steve Austin out of nowhere with a chop block to take Bret’s knee out. This brings out the Bulldog and Owen to take out Austin but the damage has been done. Bret gets back in with a bad limp but Sid is tentative to go after him, possibly due to Bret’s history of goldbricking but I don’t think Sid is that bright.

 

The champion finally pounds Bret down into the corner and stomps away with pure power. Bret escapes Snake Eyes onto the exposed buckle but gets sent chest first into it instead which suits him very well. A big chokeslam gets two for the Sycho (yes that’s how it’s spelled in the WWF) but Sid misses a charge, allowing Bret to hit a Cactus Clothesline and send both guys to the floor. Bret grabs a chair (Shawn: “There’s your role model!) but Sid takes it away with ease. Sid shoves Shawn down, bringing Michaels to the apron. Bret is sent into Shawn to stun the Canadian, allowing Sid to powerbomb him and retain.

 

Rating: C+. Much like the rest of the show, this wasn’t all that bad. The face/heel dynamic here was very strange to say the least but it actually worked in the end. Bret is the kind of guy that can work with any style and bouncing around for a monster is one of his specialties. Good main event here though not great. In an impressive note, Sid has now pinned Shawn and Bret at consecutive PPVs, which is quite the feat.

 

Post match Shawn is injured from being knocked off the apron and Bret pounds away on him. Bret leaves in a huff and Shawn promises to kick Bret’s teeth down his throat to end the show.

 

Overall Rating: C+. For a two hour show at a cost of $20, this was actually pretty solid stuff. The Undertaker match was dreadful but other than that there isn’t anything bad on the card. We’re definitely past the worst point and things should start going up from here. The threeway feud over the world title is interesting stuff and the promos that built it up were even better. There’s nothing groundbreaking or worth going out of your way to see here, but it was a pleasant surprise after so many awful shows so far.

 

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Tables Ladders and Chairs 2013
Date: December 15, 2013
Location: Toyota Center, Houston, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

We’re at the final PPV of the year and the main story tonight is of course the TLC title unification match between Orton and Cena to give us one world champion. It didn’t make a ton of sense when they did this in December of 2001 and it doesn’t make the most sense in December of 2013. This could headline Wrestlemania, but I guess they wants a big buyrate for December, so why not shoot everything they have at it and forget the incredible money it could draw four months from now. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Fandango vs. Dolph Ziggler

How was Ziggler world champion six months ago? Fandango puts him down with a shoulder block but walks into a nice dropkick. Ziggler is sent tot he floor and we take an early break. Back with Ziggler breaking out of a chinlock, only to get caught by a dropkick and rollup for two each. Dolph comes back with a quick Fameasser for two, causing Cole to say it’s shades of Billy Gunn, even though Ziggler has done more with that move than Gunn could ever dream of.

Ziggler pounds away in the corner and gets two off a clothesline. The Zig Zag is countered into a falcon’s arrow for two but he gets crotched going up top. Summer Rae distracts Ziggler though, allowing Fandango to hit the guillotine legdrop for the pin at 4:22. Too much was spent in the commercial to rate but the match was a glorified dark match with a surprise ending.

The pay per view opens with HHH and Stephanie coming to the arena. Vince was seen on the pre-show but is nowhere in sight here. Stephanie talks about what an important moment this is and acknowledges the crowd by saying YES, this is a huge moment. HHH says the World Championship dates back to Lou Thesz as champion (not true in the short version of a long story) and talks about how big tonight is.

The opening video talks about how the wrestling industry is defined by the champion and the future path of wrestling will be determined tonight. There will be only one if that wasn’t made clear.

Cole confirms that the winner will be the WWE World Heavyweight Champion which is the easiest layup possible.

CM Punk vs. Shield

Ambrose starts things up for Shield and feels Punk out a little bit. Punk wisely runs instead of being dragged into the Shield corner and shouts that he’s beaten Dean twice already so give someone else a shot. It’s off to Rollins so Punk bails to the floor to play some head games. Rollins chases him back into the ring and gets caught by some shoulders in the corner followed by three straight neckbreakers for two.

Seth fights up and brings in Reigns to throw Punk into the Shield corner. Rollins and Reigns make a wish on Punk’s legs before Seth hits a neckbreaker of his own. Back to Ambrose for some rib stomps before it’s off to Reigns for a hard clothesline. Shield is taking their time here instead of their usual fast tagging. Punk is thrown to the floor but still has enough in him to avoid Reigns’ spear over the announce table. Roman looks to have injured his eye when he went over the table.

Reigns is dazed but makes it back inside where Punk goes after his eyes. He rakes and punches away at it but Roman sends him outside again to get a breather. It’s off to Rollins as a doctor looks at Roman’s eye. A knee to Punk’s head is good for two but he shoves Rollins into Ambrose, knocking Dean to the floor. The high kick gets two on Seth and Punk speeds things up with ax handles to the face.

A great looking running knee in the corner sets up a high cross body for two and the Anaconda Vice is on. Ambrose makes a diving save and comes in off the tag. Dean loads up a superplex but gets headbutted down, setting up the Macho Elbow. The cover is delayed as Punk had to take out Rollins and Dean kicks out at two. Rollins charges in but gets caught in the GTS. Punk goes after Ambrose, only to sidestep a charging Reigns who spears Ambrose down by mistake. Punk sends him to the floor and gets the upset pin on Ambrose at 13:10.

Rating: C+. To clarify, Punk just beat the unbeatable Shield by pin with no outside interference. Let me guess: this is great, whereas if say Cena did this, it would be him playing Superman again. The match was fine but more storytelling than anything else. It should be interesting to see where Punk goes now, as he’s due for a return to the title picture after some time away.

AJ tells Renee that there’s only one Diva that matters around here. She isn’t on some silly reality show like Natalya and is going to be the one laughing after tonight. AJ is also counting days as champion now.

Divas Title: AJ Lee vs. Natalya

Natalya is challenging. AJ takes her down to start with a headscissors before Natalya reverses into an armbar. A low dropkick has Natalya in trouble so she heads outside, only to be distracted by Tamina, allowing AJ to send her face first into the apron. Off to a chinlock by AJ followed by a spinwheel kick to the jaw. Natalya comes back and sends AJ into the corner, only to get caught in a nice guillotine choke.

The blonde powers out and hits a basement dropkick to the face followed by some clotheslines. Some suplexes set up the Sharpshooter and Natalya brings her back to the middle of the ring, only to have AJ kick free. The Black Widow goes on but Natalya rolls out, breaking it for the first time. A clothesline puts AJ down again but another Sharpshooter attempt is countered into a small package for the pin at 6:42.

Rating: C. There were some nice false finishes in there but I’m over Natalya challenging for the title. AJ has completely cleaned out the division except for Tamina, setting up the showdown whenever they go that way. I’m sure we’ll hear about AJ vs. Total Divas again though, because just beating them about five PPVs in a row isn’t enough proof of who is better.

The announcers play up that AJ pulled hair to get the small package.

We get a video package on the world titles that we’ve seen on Raw and Smackdown with Flair and Rhodes and others talking about what winning the title means.

Intercontinental Title: Big E. Langston vs. Damien Sandow

Before the match, Sandow tells the Texas crowd some assorted phrases that are worthless: y’all, ye if followed by haw, and Big E. Langston: Intercontinental Champion. Nice touch. Langston throws the challenger into the corner to start and hits a corner splash to keep Damien in trouble. They head outside with Langston in trouble, only to miss a charge into the post to change momentum.

Back in and Damien pounds away at Big E.’s head before putting on a chinlock. The Wind-Up Elbow gets two for Sandow and we’re back to the chinlock again. Langston powers out of the hold and drops Damien with an electric chair. A belly to belly sets up the Warrior Splash for two but the Big Ending is countered into an Edge-O-Matic for two by Sandow. Another Big Ending attempt is countered into a small package for two but Langston is done messing around. He runs Sandow over with ease and the Big Ending is enough to retain the title at 6:25.

Rating: D+. The match was nothing you wouldn’t see on Smackdown. These two did virtually the same match with the same story earlier this year for Langston’s NXT Title so there was some practice coming in. Langston has a bright future and a title defense on PPV isn’t going to hurt him at all.

Vince is in the back and shakes Orton’s hand. They appeared to be talking but there was no sound.

We recap Kofi attacking Miz on the pre-show, setting up a No DQ match later tonight.

Tag Titles: Real Americans vs. Big Show/Rey Mysterio vs. Cody Rhodes/Goldust vs. Ryback/Curtis Axel

Rhodes and Goldust are defending and this is elimination rules. Ryback and Axel have both beaten the champions in the last few weeks while Big Show and Mysterio have teamed together I believe once. Ryback shoves Rhodes around to start but gets caught in a half crab, allowing Goldust to come in with an elbow to the back of Ryback’s head. Off to Axel for a nice dropkick, only to get caught in a wristlock.

Axel fights up but Goldust makes a tag off to Big Show who keeps up the arm work. There’s the skin ripping chop and the fans want it one more time. Show does it a third time and Axel sells it like he got shot. Mysterio comes in for some forearms but Axel sends him into the corner. Ryback gets the tag and pounds Mysterio down, only to bring Axel back in for something resembling stereo cross bodies to put both guys down.

Double tags bring in Ryback and Goldust with the champion scoring off the uppercut and a spinebuster. Ryback loads up a powerbomb but gets rolled up for the pin by Goldust, getting us down to three teams at 6:12. Cesaro comes in to pummel Goldust in the corner before it’s off to Swagger for a front facelock. The fans start chanting WE THE PEOPLE as Goldust is sent to the floor for a clothesline from Swagger.

Back inside and Cesaro gets two off the gutwrench suplex and we hit the chinlock. Off to Jack again for a bearhug as Big Show plays cheerleader for Goldust. Goldie fights back with right hands and a springboard elbow to the jaw. Cesaro easily takes him down and we get a short version Cesaro Swing. A Swagger belly to belly suplex puts Goldust down again and we get the Vader Bomb/double stomp sequence from the Real Americans for another two.

Antonio puts on another chinlock but this time Goldust escapes with a jawbreaker. Cesaro can’t break up the tag but Swagger runs around the ring and pulls Cody off the apron. Cody is holding his knee as Big Show throws Swagger into the barricade and Goldust catches Cesaro with a hurricanrana. A powerslam puts Cesaro down again and the hot tag brings in Big Show. Cesaro is thrown all over the ring and a shoulder block turns him inside out. Both Americans get punched in the jaw and Big Show pins Cesaro for the elimination at 14:42.

So we’re down to the two good guy teams but Big Show waits for the champions to get on their feet. A hard shoulder block puts Goldust on the floor and Cody gives him a somewhat angry pep talk. Goldust comes back in for a top rope cross body with Big Show waiting on the impact for about eight seconds. The chokeslam is countered into a DDT for two and it’s off to Cody for a double suplex on Big Show for two. The fans are rapidly losing interest.

Big Show swats a Disaster Kick out of the air and it’s off to Mysterio (remember him?) for a springboard seated senton to Cody. Now the Disaster Kick connects for two on Mysterio and Cody is getting frustrated. Cross Rhodes is countered into the 619 to both champions. Goldust is sent into the barricade by Big Show but Cody sends the giant into the post.

Cody tries a springboard dropkick but gets caught in a powerbomb by Rey (how often do you hear that?) for two. Cross Rhodes are countered again but the 619 is countered into an Alabama Slam which is countered into a sunset flip for a VERY close two. The third attempt at Cross Rhodes FINALLY connects for the pin to retain the titles at 21:06.

Rating: A-. This dragged a bit in the middle but man alive that ending was great. Cody and Goldust are just awesome right now and I’m so glad they didn’t give the titles to another thrown together team. I have no idea why the Usos weren’t in there somehow other than putting in two bigger names. Really good match here though.

A bunch of people play with Brawling Buddies in a head throbbing segment. The payoff is Kane scaring everyone off and having the Brodus Clay Buddy beat up the Cena Buddy. Cole: “…..Yep.”

Brodus Clay vs. R-Truth

Bonus match due to Brodus going nuts on Truth’s buddy Xavier Woods on Raw. Truth takes him into the corner to start and scores with a dropkick, sending Brodus to the floor. A nice dive takes Brodus out again but he comes right back with a Banzai Drop for no cover. He finally drags Truth back into the middle for two before throwing him corner to corner again.

A running splash in the corner crushes Truth but he still won’t go for the pin. They head outside with Tensai yelling at Clay to go for the win but instead Brodus puts Truth in the Tree of Woe. Tensai gets up on the apron for a shouting match before walking out. The Funkadactyls walk out as well and Truth hits a side kick into a rollup for the pin at 6:06.

Rating: D. This was much more of an angle than a match which is acceptable if they actually do something with Clay. The guy has a chance to be something interesting if he’s pushed properly, but given how they’ve pushed him twice before I can’t imagine it actually working. Good heel turn though.

Vince wishes Cena luck.

Kofi Kingston vs. The Miz

No DQ and set up by Miz attacking Kofi a few times recently in addition to the pre-show stuff earlier. Kofi goes nuts on Miz with right hands to start with Miz being sent to the floor. A Kofi dive is blocked by a right hand but Kingston drives him into the barricade. Miz is shoved up against the post but Kofi’s Trouble in Paradise hits the post, badly injuring his ankle in the process. Miz DDT’s the leg onto the floor and gets two back inside.

Kofi is in trouble but gets two off a quick rollup for a breather. Lawler talks about telegrams for some reason as Miz goes after the bad leg for some storytelling. Miz’s cannonball down onto the leg is countered with a kick to send him to the floor, only to have Kofi miss a dive, sending him into the barricade. Back in again and Miz unhooks a turnbuckle pad, setting up something big. The Skull Crushing Finale into the pad is countered into a rollup for two as we get a breather. Miz goes up but dives into a dropkick as a boring chant starts up. Back up and Kofi quickly sends Miz into the buckle to set up Trouble in Paradise for the pin at 8:03.

Rating: D+. This was longer than it needed to be and the ending didn’t do much for either guy. The leg stuff didn’t go anywhere at all which is one of the things that drives me crazy in matches. This feud isn’t going anywhere for either guy but they’re still feuding for no apparent reason.

Tribute to the Troops ad.

We recap Bryan vs. the Wyatts with Bray wanting Daniel to join the Family but getting kneed in the face instead.

Daniel Bryan vs. Wyatt Family

Bray of course sits in the rocking chair to start. Rowan gets us going for the team and takes Bryan’s head off with an elbow to the jaw. Daniel gets caught in the corner and it’s off to Harper for a lot of yeah yeah yeah. Bryan comes back with the surfboard knee stomps and some kicks but a shot to the ribs gives Luke control. Back to Rowan for some shots to the gut and a bearhug to slow the match down.

Harper slams Daniel down and Bray stands up. Wyatt himself comes in and shouts that he could have helped Daniel before splashing him in the corner. Bray goes nuts on Bryan before stopping for that evil look of his. A suplex/toss sends Daniel flying and Bray does the incredibly creepy Exorcist spider walk over to the corner for a tag to Harper. Fans: “THAT WAS CREEPY!”

Luke puts on a chinlock before Rowan throws Daniel back into the corner. A big boot from Harper puts Bryan down and it’s back to Bray who shouts about the fans. He offers Daniel his hand but Daniel kicks it away and pounds on Wyatt’s jaw. Bray will have none of that though and runs Daniel over before bringing Harper back in. Back up and Bryan avoids a charging Bray to send him into Rowan before avoiding a running big boot from Harper.

Daniel busts out an awesome belly to back superplex on Luke for two before firing off the kicks. The big one to the head sets up the swan dive but Daniel has to fire off the kicks to Rowan, tying him up in the ropes. A tag brings in Bray who gets rolled up for two but Wyatt runs him over again. Bryan is whipped into the ropes but he scores with the FLYING GOAT to Harper. Back in the missile dropkick drops Bray but he counters the YES Lock and pummels Bryan down. Sister Abigail ends Bryan at 12:25.

Rating: B-. I was digging this a lot by the end with Bryan giving it everything he had. The most interesting thing here though was Wyatt. He’s the kind of guy who you just have to watch when he’s on screen, which is a rare thing to find anymore. In a word, he’s mesmerizing. As for the result, there’s no way you can put both singles guys over in the handicap matches and it doesn’t hurt Bryan to lose here at all.

The expert panel (Booker and Foley) talk a bit.

We recap Orton vs. Cena which has been covered already. It’s to determine who is champion of champions and we get the video package of their parallel histories from Smackdown.

WWE World Heavyweight Championship: Randy Orton vs. John Cena

TLC match, winner take all. They have a ton of time to used for this too. Naturally we get big match intros and we’re ready to go. They head into the corner to start and Cena grabs a headlock. The wrestling gets boring though and we get our first ladder and table with the wooden one being set up in the corner. Orton escapes an AA through the table and heads to the floor for a chair. Cena can’t avoid the shot to the back and Randy is in control.

They head outside again but Orton misses a chair shot and hits the post, allowing Cena to pick up the chair. A series of chair shots puts Orton down and John loads up another table on the floor. The distraction lets Orton send him into the steps to take over again as the dueling Cena chants begin. Orton tries to climb but Cena makes a fast save. The ladder is thrown to the floor and Orton headbutts him down. Some kicks to the ribs have Cena in trouble but he comes back with knees and right hands, only to walk into the powerslam.

Randy brings in another ladder but gets it rammed into his ribs, allowing Cena to climb. Orton quickly suplexes him down but misses a ladder shot, sending the ladder to the floor. That’s fine with Orton though as he cracks Cena in the back with a chair before wedging it into the corner. Cena blocks the shot into the chair and comes back with his finishing sequence, only to have Orton poke him in the eye and send him into the chair. Another ladder is brought in but Cena makes yet another save.

They both fight on the ladder until Cena throws Orton over the top and through the table. He can’t climb that fast though and Orton pulls him down for an RKO. Both guys are down again but it’s Cena up first with a clothesline to send him to the floor. Cena blasts Orton in the head with the steps and Randy might be busted a little bit. John brings in another table, giving us two tables in opposite corners. With all of the metal stuff at ringside, Orton hits Cena in the head with the microphone to take over again.

Orton loads up the announce table but instead clears out a path to Cena. John avoids the Punt though and catches Orton in an AA through the table to put both guys down again. Cena very slowly gets back in and grabs both belts without pulling them down. Instead it’s Orton shoving the ladder away to leave Cena hanging, allowing Orton a free shot with the chair. Cena comes right back with a spear through one of the tables and both guys are down again.

Randy heads outside again and starts peeling back the mats to find some hidden handcuffs. Cena gets tied to the bottom rope and Orton teases him with the key. This didn’t work at Breaking Point but call backs to old matches are usually fun. Cena tries to break the chain as Orton goes to pick up the big ladder for some shots to Cena’s ribs.

Randy goes back inside as Cena beats on the cuffs with a chair to no avail. Cena pulls hard enough to rip the bottom rope off and go up to knock Orton off the ladder but he only has one free arm due to the rope. Orton grabs the rope and uses the power of gravity to pull Cena down, sending him head first into the table which DOESN’T BREAK. That looked bad. Orton goes up again and pulls down both titles for the surprise win at 24:35.

Rating: B. I liked the match and the ropes idea was good, but that ending came out of nowhere. Given how badly Cena’s head went into that table, I wouldn’t be shocked if he had an actual injury. Orton winning makes more sense but I’m kind of shocked it was clean. Well as clean as you can get in a TLC match of course. Good stuff here but the ending leaves a lot of doors open.

Post match here’s the Authority and Vince to congratulate Orton with no drama to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. This show was about one match and the match delivered. The handicap matches both worked quite well too and the tag match ROCKED. It wasn’t a classic show or anything but it was much better overall than I expected. The ending sets up a lot of questions about where we’re going, but that makes things all the more interesting. Good show here and a solid ending to the year.

Results

CM Punk b. Shield – Punk pinned Ambrose after a spear from Reigns

AJ Lee b. Natalya – Small package

Big E. Langston b. Damien Sandow – Big Ending

Cody Rhodes/Goldust b. Real Americans, Big Show/Rey Mysterio and Ryback/Curtis Axel – Cross Rhodes to Mysterio

Kofi Kingston b. The Miz – Trouble in Paradise

Wyatt Family b. Daniel Bryan – Sister Abigail

Randy Orton b. John Cena – Orton pulled down the title belts

 

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It’s awards time again.  I’ve got 18 awards to hand out this year and as is my custom, I’ll be doing one of these a day until the end of the year, which just so happens to be the day the Royal Rumble Count-Up stars.  Up first: Worst Angle of the Year.I know it’s easy, but I’m going with Big Show’s firing/crying/threats of lawsuits.  This story went on for months, never gave us any real conclusion (Big Show got cheated out of the title match and just started teaming with Mysterio like nothing happened) and wost of all, it involved LAWYERS.

This is rapidly becoming one of the most annoying things in wrestling.  It’s in WWE, TNA and was in ROH during the few weeks I watched their TV show.  WWE has become obsessed with this idea and even had a recurring lawyer character in David Otunga (which is understandable as he actually is a lawyer).  Think about it though: Christian used to threaten lawsuits for one more match, Del Rio threatened legal action against Sheamus, everyone threatens lawsuits against everyone at times and dear goodness it gets old fast.  Stop having wrestlers hide behind lawyers and have them FIGHT.

Smackdown
Date: December 13, 2013
Location: Rose Garden Arena, Portland, Oregon
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the final show before TLC, meaning this is the last night with two world champions. It’s hard to say what we’ll get tonight but given that this is the blue show, I’ll take a guess and say it ends in a big tag match. Other than that, maybe we’ll get a tables, ladder or chairs match added to the Tables, Ladders and Chairs show. Let’s get to it.

We open with a clip of the ending segment from Raw with Cena calling out Orton for living on his reputation and the huge brawl which seems to plant seeds for Wrestlemania. I still don’t think Shawn is getting back in the ring though.

The belts are hanging above the ring and there are probably fifteen ladders and tables set up around the ring.

Daniel Bryan vs. Erick Rowan

Bryan has one of the Slammys he won on Monday with him. Rowan shoves Daniel down to start but Daniel comes back with a running forearm to stagger Erick. The kicks get him nowhere though as Rowan easily shoves him down. Rowan gets in a forearm of his own to Daniel’s back and puts on a bearhug followed by a fallaway slam.

A splash in the corner gets two on Daniel as Harper looks…..confused I guess you would call it. Bryan gets a boot up in the corner and a middle rope dropkick to drop Erick. Now the kicks work a bit better with the big one to the head dropping Rowan. The FLYING GOAT takes out Harper and Rowan is sent outside as well, only to have Bray trip up Bryan for the DQ at 3:06.

Rating: D+. This was just a quick trailer for the match on Sunday to illustrate what Bryan is going to have to go through. I actually like it better that way as we’ve seen Bryan vs. Rowan in a long match recently so there’s little need to see the same thing again. Also it keeps Rowan looking strong instead of having him lose a second match, meaning there’s some actual thought to the booking for a change.

Bryan has to fight off the monsters post match and manages to get out of the ring for a bad looking running knee to take Bray out.

Real Americans vs. Cody Rhodes/Goldust

Non-title. Before the match Colter rants about Santa Claus telling him Feliz Navidad. That sounds like an illegal immigrant to him and that means we need to strengthen our border with the North Pole. Goldust runs Cesaro down to start and it’s quickly off to Cody as the champions start in on Antonio’s arm. Swagger comes in with some right hands to Cody’s jaw and the Americans start some quick tagging of their own. The Vader Bomb misses as a moderate We The People chant starts up.

Goldust comes in with the uppercut and a spinebuster to Swagger but a blind tag brings in Cesaro to knock Goldust out to the floor. We take a break and come back with Swagger holding Goldust in a front facelock. The Americans take their turns on Goldust with Swagger putting on a chinlock. Goldust fights up and comes off the second rope for a collision with Swagger.

The double tag brings in Cody for the sunset flip out of the corner and the Alabama Slam for two each on Antonio. Goldust has to break up the Swing and Cody gets two more off the Disaster Kick. Both Americans are sent to the floor and Cody hits a great looking dive to take Cesaro out. Back in and Cody loads up the moonsault press but gets distracted by Swagger, allowing Cesaro to pull him into the European uppercut for the pin at 6:17 shown of 9:47.

Rating: C-. It’s been at least a few weeks since we last had the champions lose a few matches to set up a title shot so it was long overdue. The Americans getting wins is fine, but there must be some teams they could beat other than the champions. If nothing else, take some of those guys that have nothing else to do and make quick teams out of them. It’s worked many times before.

Video package on what the history of the titles means for the unification match. This transitions into a nice package shows Cena and Orton’s career paths.

Bad News Barrett calls us losers for voting on the Slammy winners.

Damien Sandow vs. Mark Henry

Langston is on commentary again. Henry throws Sandow around to start and shrugs off a boot in the corner. Sandow is sent to the floor and takes the countout to save himself for Sunday at 1:17.

Langston throws Sandow back inside for the beating he deserves.

AJ Lee/Tamina Snuka vs. Bella Twins

Natalya is on commentary. Nikki is shoved to the mat by Tamina to start but uses the power of yelling to come back. A snap suplex and a Samoan drop put Nikki down as Natalya talks about Total Divas. Off to AJ who skips around a lot but misses a charge into the corner, allowing for the hot tag to Brie. The girl named after cheese cleans a little bit of the house but is quickly caught in the Black Widow for the submission at 2:36.

Here’s Cena for the PPV hard sell. Cena talks about how Monday was the first time that the two world champions both handed the world title away. 99% of the superstars in WWE history will never hold one of those (true, though if you go by the WWE roster currently listed on Wikipedia, which to be fair includes Rock, Undertaker, Lesnar and other part timers as well as names like Ezekiel Jackson and Evan Bourne, it’s about 30% of all male wrestlers. Think about that for a minute and you’ll see why the titles should be unified) but they gave the titles away. Why would they do that?

It’s because of the moment on Sunday when the unification will change everything. Cena knows what Orton is capable of, but he also knows something Orton wishes he doesn’t know: Orton has a glass jaw. Think about it: whenever Orton gets hurt, he runs away. This Sunday there’s nowhere to run though and Orton is going to have to suffer through the pain from falling off a ladder or going through a table. Cena doesn’t know what Orton is going to do but he’s going to get back up every time. The question is does Orton run again or does he get back up? This Sunday there’s one champion and his name is John Cena.

We look back at Punk beating Ambrose on Raw but getting speared down after the match.

Shield vs. Usos

Ambrose is on commentary here to continue a theme tonight. Jimmy leapfrogs Rollins to start and punches him in the face before tagging Jey. The twins hit a higher flying version of the Demolition Decapitator for two before Jimmy puts on a standing armbar. Rollins pushes him into the corner for the tag off to Reigns and Shield takes over. Jimmy tries to speed things up by hitting the ropes, allowing Jey to make a blind tag. Some Uso double teaming knocks Rollins out to the floor and we take a break.

Back with Jimmy fighting out of a Seth front facelock and getting two off a backslide. Reigns comes back in and shoves Jimmy into the corner for a chinlock. Jimmy escapes with a jawbreaker but Roman runs him over with a clothesline. Shield tries some double teaming but Rollins gets low bridged to the floor. Jimmy DDTs Reigns down and dives over for the tag to Jey. Rollins comes back in to speed things up with the throw in the air Samoan drop for a VERY close two.

The superkick sets up the Superfly Splash but Seth rolls to the floor. That’s cool with Jey who takes him out with a cross body, putting all four guys outside. Reigns comes out of nowhere with a spear to Jimmy and Jey is sent into the post. Jey barely beats the count but gets caught by the Black Out (running curb stomp). Rollins loads up a GTS but puts Jey on his feet instead of hitting him with the knee, only to set up another spear for the pin at 8:55 shown of 11:10.

Rating: C+. The tag matches continue to be good in WWE as they’re given the time to develop. I still hope the Usos get the titles eventually as they’ve spent years on the roster and consistently put on entertaining matches. At the same time, Shield, is able to have good matches no matter what combination we get from them.

After the match Punk appears on screen from the basement ala Shield’s promos. Punk didn’t like it when Shield put their hands on him and he’s going to do something about it on Sunday. He knows he’s going down, but the question is how many of them are going with him.

Ryback vs. Big Show

Axel and Mysterio are the seconds here. Before the match we get the announcement of a four way tag title match on Sunday: Rhodes/Goldust vs. Ryback/Axel vs. Real Americans vs. Big Show/Rey Mysterio. Big Show chops Ryback down to start and hits the loud chop in the corner. A headbutt staggers Ryback and there’s another loud chop. Ryback comes back with a nice spinebuster for two but the Meat Hook is caught in a chokeslam to give Big Show the pin at 1:44.

Axel takes a 619 post match.

We look at Bryan attacking Bray earlier.

The Wyatts come on screen and Bray says he was trying to prove Daniel wrong. Bray yells that he (Bray) was a blind fool though and starts singing about walking with the reaper and leaving this world behind. That’s his special lullaby song that he sings to all of his babies before he puts them down. See you Sunday Bryan.

Kofi Kingston vs. Alberto Del Rio

Del Rio gets the jobber entrance. No match again this week as Miz jumps Kofi and gives him a Skull Crushing Finale on the floor. I’d assume we have a TLC match set as a result.

In the weekly sitdown interview, HHH says he might listen to an apology from Orton for him running into Stephanie on Monday.

Here’s Orton for the apology to end the show. He talks about the end of Monday’s show and seeing Stephanie laid out on the mat. Orton can’t get the image out of his head and wants to apologize to the Authority in person. This brings out HHH as Orton says it was clearly an accident. He says it’s clearly an accident if you look at the footage so here’s the ending sequence again.

There’s more footage from a different angle in slow motion but we have to wait for the YES chant to die down first. Orton talks over the Daniel Bryan chant and talks about how their relationship is important and he wants HHH and Stephanie to accept his apology. HHH says he’s seen the footage over and over because they’re his cameras in the first place. There are a lot of people that need to apologize but he isn’t one of them. They both know he could fire Orton for this but that wouldn’t be best for business. For this one time, Orton’s apology is accepted.

Orton is grateful, but there’s one more thing he needs to ask about. We look at the footage of Cena helping Stephanie to her feet and standing next to the Authority and Orton would like an explanation. Randy talks about proving himself on Sunday but wants to know if the Authority has the same amount of faith in him that he has in himself. HHH says don’t worry about it because they know exactly where their faith lies. Orton is confused to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This show was designed to set up the main matches for Sunday but we didn’t really get anything new here. Bryan got in a shot at Bray and that’s really about all that has changed. Cena still seems to be the Authority’s guy (though I don’t buy it at all) and Punk is still promising to take the Shield down with him. Other than adding the four way tag match, there really isn’t anything new for Sunday. The wrestling here was just ok but the point was setting up the PPV. Everything was covered, but other than the main event there isn’t much of interest to see, which cuts tonight’s show down.

Results

Daniel Bryan b. Erick Rowan via DQ when Bray Wyatt interfered

Real Americans b. Goldust/Cody Rhodes – European uppercut to Rhodes

AJ Lee/Tamina Snuka b. Bella Twins – Black Widow to Brie

Shield b. Usos – Spear to Jey

Big Show b. Ryback – Chokeslam

 

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I’m not sure when this came out but this is the first I’ve heard of it.  It looks promising.

 

Last night Raw ended with HHH Pedigreeing Orton and Cena standing with the Authority as we head into TLC.  I’m not sure what’s going to happen on Sunday and that’s exactly WWE’s plan.  They did a GREAT job last night at confusing the fans and leaving them wondering what’s going to happen.  How do you find out what’s going to happen?

 

BUY THE PPV!  See how easy it can be?

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 9, 2013
Location: Key Arena, Seattle, Washington
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

It’s Slammy night which usually means we’re in for anything from fun to annoyance, all while using the awards as props. It’s also the go home show for TLC, meaning we’re going to get a lot of Cena and Orton staring at each other while talking about what their belts mean. Also expect a lot of cameos. Let’s get to it.

The opening is like a big time awards show, talking about what will be announced tonight and talking about who will be here.

Jerry Lawler and Booker T are hosting the awards while Cole and JBL handle commentary.

We open with an explanation of how to download the WWE App. Expect to hear that a lot tonight.

Daniel Bryan vs. Fandango

Bryan is the hometown boy and has a new shirt. Daniel leapfrogs Fandango to start and dropkicks him down but gets kneed in the ribs for two. Fandango suplexes Bryan down, only to be sent face first into the middle buckle. Bryan pounds him down and hooks the surfboard knee crusher followed by a kick to the chest for two. A sidestep sends Bryan to the floor but Fandango misses a dive, setting up the FLYING GOAT. Bryan hits a running dropkick up against the barricade and we head back inside. Fandango is staggered but manages to catch Bryan coming off the top in a sitout powerbomb for two as we take a break.

Back with Bryan hitting the running clothesline and shaking like the reincarnated Ultimate Warrior. There are the YES Kicks as the Washington crowd goes nuts. The big kick misses so badly that Cole has to acknowledge it but Bryan gets two anyway. Bryan misses the running dropkick in the corner and gets suplexed down for two. Fandango misses the guillotine legdrop but Bryan hits the Swan Dive followed by the running knee to the face for the pin at 9:18.

Rating: C. Better match than I was expecting here with Bryan making Fandango look like a million bucks. That’s what Bryan might be best at and now he has the credibility to give anyone on the roster a rub. Good match here and it’s nice to see Fandango not look like a complete jobber every time he’s out there.

Post match we’ve got Bray on the screen. He doesn’t like Bryan’s unwillingness to comply and the clock is ticking. Bray doesn’t want to watch Bryan suffer because in his world, there are no happy endings or fairy tales. This story ends the same way that it started. Bray needs Bryan to know that he’s going to hurt Bryan bad and prove that Bryan is a monster just like him. In that moment, Bray can take all of Bryan’s pain away, if he’ll join the Family. The lights go out again and the fans chant NO.

Here are Jerry and Booker for our first award of the night. Up first is the Laugh Out Loud Award, presented by the New Age Outlaws, clad in powder blue and neon orange tuxedos, complete with top hats ala Dumb and Dumber. Road Dogg can talk just as fast as he used to. They do some of their schtick but get cut off by a ONE MORE MATCH chant. Billy tries to do the catchphrase but gets cut off.

The nominees are:

Vickie Guerrero being fired and freaking out

Titus O’Neil eating too much and getting sick in JBL’s hat

The Cobra being caught between Jinder Mahal’s and Great Khali’s snake charm flutes

Rock singing about Vickie Guerrero

Apparently we have to wait for the winner to be announced later because voting is still going on.

Back from a break and Rock wins the award. Vickie comes out to take the trophy and say the award represents her beauty.

Damien Sandow vs. Santino Marella

Santino starts with his power walk as Langston is on commentary. Sandow stomps Santino down and puts on a quick chinlock. Santino comes back with his hiptoss and the headbutt before loading up the Cobra. Damien legsweeps him down though and You’re Welcome ends this at 2:30.

Langston and Sandow stare each other down post match.

Shield, wearing suits, are here to present Double Cross of the Year. Before the nominees, Shield recommends never double crossing them. Ambrose cuts Reigns off and Roman doesn’t look pleased. The nominees are:

Mark Henry faking retirement

Shawn Michaels superkicking Daniel Bryan inside the Cell

Paul Heyman costing CM Punk MITB

HHH Pedigreeing Daniel Bryan at Summerslam

The winner is again after a break.

Post break and Shawn Michaels wins. Shawn thinks it’s ironic that he double crossed people for 25 years and wins an award four years after he retired. The fans chant YOU SOLD OUT and Shawn said he did that years ago which is why he’s still here. Shawn didn’t come off like a heel here but he wasn’t the nicest guy in the world.

The Miz vs. Kofi Kingston

This is another match we don’t need to see again. Kofi gets in a running kick to start but runs into a knee in the corner. A big boot puts Miz down and a few knees to the head get two each. Trouble in Paradise misses and Miz bails to the floor as a result. Miz tries to walk out but Kofi chases him down and blasts Miz in the back of the head. Back in and a springboard shot to the back of Miz’s head gets two. Miz counters a rollup and kicks him into the buckle and rolls Kofi up with a handful of tights for the pin at 2:38. Pretty messy match.

Post match Kofi kicks Miz in the head like a sore loser.

Eve Torres returns to present Diva of the Year. The nominees are:

The Bella Twins

Funkadactyls

Kaitlyn

Natalya

Eva Marie

AJ Lee

After a break the Bella Twins win and are booed out of the building.

Rey Mysterio/Big Show/Cody Rhodes/Goldust vs. Real Americans/Ryback/Curtis Axel

Ryback pounds Mysterio down to start but Rey slides through his legs and kicks Ryback in the face. The big guy heads outside to avoid the 619 and heads back inside to face the Big Show. Ryback is shoved into the corner and chopped in the chest before it’s off to Goldust for an elbow drop. Back from a break with Rey spinning Cesaro down with a headscissors before it’s back to Goldust.

Goldie is dragged into the corner and beaten down by Swagger, only to come back with the uppercut to the jaw. Swagger sends him to the floor so Cesaro can clothesline Goldust down for two. Off to Axel for a dropkick and an elbow for two before it’s back to Ryback for some pounding. Swagger puts on a front facelock as we hear about the Ascension Ceremony later tonight. There will be 20 world champions around the ring as the titles are raised into the air for the last time….except for Sunday but at least it’s something new.

Cesaro double stomps Goldust for two and we hit the chinlock. Goldust fights up and powerslams Cesaro down, only to be sent into the corner for a beating from Swagger. The Real Americans both come in but get caught in a double DDT to put everyone down. The hot tag brings in Cody to face Axel as house is cleaned. A springboard missile dropkick puts Axel down and there’s the moonsault press for two as everything breaks down. Big Show spears various heels and Rey tags himself in. The Disaster kick sets up the 619 and the top rope splash pins Axel at 11:40.

Rating: C+. The match wasn’t bad but these matches throwing Goldust/Cody vs. any combination of heels are going to stop working eventually. Big Show and Mysterio don’t work for me as a team as they’ve done the big man/little man combination so many times that it just doesn’t hold up.

How to download the WWE App The Sequel!

Booker and Jerry bring out Shawn Michaels to present Superstar of the Year. First though, Shawn declares himself Mr. Slammy. Also, since Shawn was always giving A+ performances, maybe we should call the award the H-B-Shizzle? Anyway, the nominees are:

Brock Lesnar

CM Punk

Big Show

Daniel Bryan

Randy Orton

John Cena

An hour and fifteen minutes in, this show is dedicated to Nelson Mandela. I really hope that was at the beginning of the show as well.

Bryan wins to set up the confrontation with Michaels. Bryan thanks the fans for giving him the H-B-Shizzle Award but also thanks Shawn for costing him the world title. This award is because of the people rather than what the Authority wants. Oh and GO SEAHAWKS.

Sin Cara vs. Alberto Del Rio

Cara now has red white and green tights. We get an inset interview with Del Rio saying he’s a former world champion and Cara is nothing. Del Rio is aggressive to start by headbutting Cara down, only to be cross bodied for his efforts. Cara pounds him on the head but gets caught in a suplex to put him down. More forearms put Del Rio on the floor but he tries to charge back in, only to be dropkicked out to the floor.

A Russell Wilson MVP (Seahawks quarterback) chant starts up as Del Rio is sent into the barricade. Back in and the corner enziguri puts Cara down but Alberto misses what looked to be a dropkick, even though Cara was on the mat. Del Rio rolls to the floor before the Swanton can launch and we take a break. Back with Del Rio holding a chinlock but Cara fighting out and dropkicking Alberto down for two. The tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two for Alberto and he takes Sin outside to send him into the barricade.

Back in and we hit another chinlock before the low superkick gets two for Del Rio. Cara avoids a charge into the corner and hits a tornado DDT for two. A handspring elbow gets the same but Del Rio hits the Codebreaker to the arm. Cara escapes the armbreaker and hits a rolling Angle Slam to put Alberto down. The Swanton takes too long to set up though and Cara gets crotched on the top. Del Rio loads up a superplex but gets caught in a sunset bomb, setting up the Swanton for the pin at 11:04.

Rating: B-. If they’re not careful they’re going to make a star out of Sin Cara. It’s remarkable how much better Hunico is at playing the character and he’s nailing this second run. Good match here and it’s good to see Del Rio dropping down the card like he should have done a long time ago.

The Prime Time Players are here to present the Audience Presentation Award, which is basically best chant. They insert the Millions of Dollars dance as an honorable mention. The nominees are:

Fandango-ing

YES! YES! YES!

Let’s Go Cena/Cena Sucks

What’s Up!

Daniel Bryan wins which isn’t a huge surprise. He says the only thing he can think of: YES! YES! YES!

Brodus Clay vs. Xavier Woods

Woods goes right at him and pounds away in the corner, only to be powerbombed in half to stop the momentum. Brodus hits a middle rope splash for the pin at 39 seconds.

Post match Brodus destroys Woods with elbows and splashes. Woods appears to have hurt ribs.

Here’s Miz to present Insult of the Year. The nominees are:

AJ Lee – “I didn’t get here because I SUCKED….up to the right people.” (Total Divas promo)

Zeb Colter – Almost anything he said

Paul Heyman – Insulting CM Punk

Stephanie McMahon – Insulting Big Show before firing him

Stephanie wins, of course. She says what she said was a huge compliment because everyone knows it was best for business.

CM Punk vs. Dean Ambrose

Rollins and Reigns are staying at ringside. Punk takes him down into a headlock followed by a wicked looking armbar to start. Dean fights up and takes Punk over to the rope, only to be taken down with a hammerlock. Back up and Punk tries a spinning cross body off the ropes but dives into a gutbuster instead. Dean stomps away at the injured ribs and drops an elbow for two before being Punk’s back around the ropes.

Punk has his face shoved into the mat for two and we hit the reverse chinlock. CM fights up and sends Dean chest first into the corner before throwing Ambrose outside to get a breather. The suicide dive takes Ambrose out but Punk has to keep an eye on the rest of the Shield as we take a break.

Back with Ambrose holding a headlock but getting belly to back suplexed down. Punk misses a dropkick and as per wrestling logic, he hurts himself despite landing the same way he would have had the move connected. A swinging neckbreaker gets two on Ambrose and some forearms keep him in trouble. The knee in the corner sets up the Macho Elbow for two but Ambrose comes right back with a butterfly suplex.

Punk’s top rope cross body is rolled through for two but he comes back with the high kick for two of his own. The fans think this is awesome. Ambrose knees him in the rubs but sends Punk to the floor where Shield gets in his face for some reason. The other two members leave and Punk hits a quick GTS for the pin at 17:07.

Rating: B. As I said on Smackdown: this was exactly what you would expect from Punk vs. Ambrose when they get time. I wish they would let someone else lose the fall to Punk, but at least this time we got some storyline development as a result. Very solid TV match here as anyone would have expected.

Post match Reigns comes back in with a spear to Punk’s bad ribs.

We get the same video about what winning the world title means from Smackdown.

Mick Foley presents the Most Extreme Moment of the Year Award. The nominees are:

Shield putting Undertaker through a table in England

Ryback slamming Cena through the set in their last man standing match

CM Punk destroying Heyman on top of the Cell

Wyatt Family crushing Kane’s head at Summerslam

Punk wins although almost none of these were extreme. He says it’s weird to win an award without wearing pants but promises to be even more extreme on Sunday against the Shield.

Usos vs. Wyatt Family

Jey tries to speed things up on Rowan to start and manages to dropkick him out to the floor. In a cool spot, Jey dives through the ropes while Jimmy dives off the top to take out Harper. Bray laughs as we take a break. Back with Harper holding Jey in a chinlock before bringing in Rowan for a fallaway slam. Erick misses a charge in the corner and the hot tag brings in Jimmy for a Samoan drop and the running Umaga attack in the corner. Everything breaks down and Harper gets superkicked down, setting up the Superfly Splash for two as Rowan makes the save. Rowan is kicked down as well but Harper takes Jey’s head off for the pin at 8:28.

Rating: C-. The show is starting to drag but at least the match wasn’t too bad. That lariat is absolutely awesome and proves that a simple move can become something special if it’s given enough time. Rowan is looking better and better every time he’s out there which is nothing but good.

Bret Hart presents the Match of the Year Award. The nominees are:

CM Punk vs Undertaker – Wrestlemania 29

Cody Rhodes/Goldust vs. Shield – Battleground

HHH vs. Brock Lesnar – Extreme Rules

The Rock vs. John Cena – Wrestlemania 29

Rock vs. Cena wins which is as good as anything else I guess. Cena gets a mixed reaction but it’s mainly booing for his standard acceptance speech.

Natalya vs. Tamina Snuka

Since this show hasn’t gone on long enough already. Tamina takes her into the corner and stomps away as AJ looks on with an evil smile from ringside. Natalya avoids a charge and hits a discus lariat but goes after AJ. Tamina picks up Natalya but accidentally swings her into AJ, allowing Natalya to put on the Sharpshooter for the win at 1:37.

There are twenty former world or WWE Champions in the ring for the final segment. We have Swagger, Christian, Bryan, Mysterio, Miz, Henry, Khali, HHH, Booker T, Kane, Bret, Punk, Foley, Del Rio, Big Show, HBK and Ziggler. HHH gives an introduction but a Daniel Bryan chant makes him pause. Henry raises Bryan’s hand to really fire up the crowd. This is one heck of a chant as the YES YES YES keeps it going. HHH finally gets a word in and brings out Cena and Orton to bring us up to 19 champions (JBL was supposed to be #20 but he’s still on commentary).

The belts are placed on the hanger and Orton talks about what image means to Cena. He gets annoyed at the fans chanting YES before talking about taking years off Foley’s career and embarrassing Shawn over and over. There wouldn’t have had to be a Montreal Screwjob because Orton would have knocked Bret out cold. The fans think Orton sucks before booing Cena out of the building as well. Cena says Orton talked about working hard and asks Bryan to stand next to him.

Cena asks Bryan where he’s from and if his parents were WWE Superstars. Bryan says no, but YES he’s had to work for everything he’s achieved in WWE. Orton hasn’t had to work his entire career because the right guys liked him. Now he hides behind the Authority and says he’s bigger than everything here. Orton has always blamed everyone else for his failure and has had behavior problems everywhere.

The only reason Randy wants the titles is greed but Cena has always given opportunities. When no one wanted Ziggler, Cena said let’s fight. When Punk was about to leave, Cena agreed to give the best in the world the title shot. When Daniel Bryan was the hottest thing in WWE, Cena gave him a shot and lost. Orton is going to need luck on Sunday and they

very tensely shake hands. The belts are raised and the brawl is on.

Punk goes after Orton but HHH throws Punk down. That earns the boss a beating but Shawn kicks Punk down to save his buddy. Bryan hits the running knee on Shawn but has to avoid an RKO, shoving Orton into Stephanie in the process (crowd: “YES! YES! YES”!). HHH Pedigrees Orton as Cena and Kane help Stephanie up. The fans chant for Bryan as Orton looks at the Authority and Cena to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This show was…..long. It set up the three major matches at TLC but the awards gimmick got old about an hour into the show. Bryan and Shield looked good tonight but other than that the awards felt like they were as planned as they possibly could have been. The ending segment came close to saving it but only brought it up to decent. The show wasn’t bad for the most part but it felt like a show you could have just read online the next morning and gotten everything you needed to know out of it.

Results

Daniel Bryan b. Fandango – Running knee

Damien Sandow b. Santino Marella – You’re Welcome

The Miz b. Kofi Kingston – Rollup

Rey Mysterio/Big Show/Goldust/Cody Rhodes b. Real Americans/Ryback/Curtis Axel – Top rope splash to Axel

Sin Cara b. Alberto Del Rio – Swanton Bomb

Brodus Clay b. Xavier Woods – Middle rope splash

CM Punk b. Dean Ambrose – GTS

Wyatt Family b. Usos – Discus lariat to Jey

Natalya b. Tamina Snuka – Sharpshooter

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of In Your House at Amazon for just $4 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for just $4 at:

Some of these are actually big deals.

Breakout Star of the Year: The Shield

“This is Awesome!” Moment of the Year: Big Show knocks out Triple H

Trending Now (Hashtag of the Year): #BelieveInTheShield

Beard of the Year: Daniel Bryan

The following Slammy Awards were given out on WWE.com today:

“What a Maneuver!” Award: Roman Reigns’ spear

Faction of the Year: The Shield

“You Still Got It!” Award: Goldust

Couple of the Year: Daniel Bryan & Brie Bella

Tag Team of the Year: Cody Rhodes & Goldust

Feat of Strength Award: Mark Henry pulls two trucks with his bare hands

“Say What!?” Quote of the Year: Dustry Rhodes “huckleberry” promo

Best Dance Moves: The Funkadactyls

Favorite Web Show: The JBL & Cole Show

Best Crowd of the Year: Raw after WrestleMania 29 (East Rutherford, NJ)

Catchphrase of the Year: “YES! YES! YES!”

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 6, 2004
Location: Cricket Arena, Charlotte, North Carolina
Attendance: 4,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is a show I’ve wanted to do for a long time but couldn’t for one reason or another. I have a copy of it now though and I’m doing it for one reason: the main event. This is the only Raw that I can ever remember where the main event is a Divas match. By that, I mean it’s the match that is built up and talked about for two hours leading up to it. It’s not the match that happens to go on last and then there’s the real final thing on the show after it. Trish vs. Lita for the Women’s Title tonight is the main event of Monday Night Raw. Let’s get to it.

We open in the Highlight Reel and Jericho’s pretty weak shoulder length hair phase. There’s a controversy over the world title between Edge and Benoit. Jericho is the GM tonight due to his team winning the Survivor Series match and thereby all of them got a night as GM. It’s a big party tonight so everyone gets laid! Hawaiian lais fall from the ceiling in a cute bit. Jericho gets one of his own and asks if some of the kids are old enough to get laid.

Anyway he talks about the title match but says that there’s going to be a Diva limbo contest, with music provided by Fozzy, who is on the stage. We get a clip from last week on Raw where Edge reversed the Crossface but didn’t break it. He had Benoit covered but tapped out at the same time the three went down. There were two referees but it appeared that neither would have been able to see Edge tap. Jericho says he can’t solve this but maybe his guest can.

Here’s Vince, holding the world title. Vince says that it was a tie which he didn’t like. This brings out HHH who was champion going into the match. Vince congratulates him on being a bestselling author which wasn’t what HHH expected. Vince congratulates him again on being a movie star for being in Blade III. It really is fun to hear Vince plugging stuff like he does with the movie and book here because he’s really good at it. I’ve seen the movie and it really isn’t as good as he makes it sounds, but I kind of buy it anyway.

As for the title, HHH isn’t champion. Bischoff gets to make that decision next week, which resulted in the return of the Elimination Chamber at New Year’s Revolution. Vince officially vacates the title.

After a break, HHH freaks out while Batista and Flair try to calm him down. HHH yells at Batista who was on the verge of leaving the team and turning into the hottest thing in the company. He’d win the Rumble and the title at Mania. Batista yells back here and HHH breaks stuff.

We cut to Jericho at his party in the back when Christian comes in. He found a superhero costume in his dressing room and isn’t happy with it. Jericho lists off a bunch of famous captains (Hook and Crunch) because if Christian wants one more match (I kid you not he really said that) with Shelton for the IC Title, he has to be Captain Charisma. Christian leaves and Benoit comes in and Jericho makes Batista/HHH vs. Benoit/Jericho.

We get a video on Trish vs. Lita which is one of those flashback things they do to show how we arrived here. Lita had been scared by Kane so Trish pretended he was coming. A beating ensued.

Maven vs. Eugene

Eugene and Regal are tag champions and last week they retained over Maven and somebody else. They celebrated so Maven turned heel and beat Eugene down because so many people wanted to see Maven right? Both guys have catchy songs. The fans chant something that I can’t understand. They go to the mat and Eugene dances a little.

He hooks a body scissors and rolls Maven around on the mat as I think we’re in a comedy match. Maven pretends to trip and blames Regal, who gets ejected. O’Connor Roll and a northern lights suplex get two for Eugene. Maven kicks him in the knee and chokes in the corner to a count of five for the stupid DQ. Regal comes out for the save post match and Maven runs. Scratch that as he sneaks in on Regal and hits him with a title belt.

Rating: D-. Maven’s song keeps it from failing, but why in the world is Maven a heel? Actually here’s a better question: why is Maven on TV at all? The guy was just Maven and other than that there was nothing to talk about. This was weak and I don’t get the point of this at all. At least it was short, which is never a good thing to say about a match.

Time for Divas Limbo. I won’t complain about looking at Christy jumping everywhere but this is pretty awful. Fozzy plays the music and this is getting multiple minutes. Christy wins. Fozzy plays Don’t You Wish You Were Me while the girls dance. Muhammad Hassan comes out and runs his mouth to break the song up. I like that song but it’s better than the limbo nonsense. Hassan debuts next week.

Hurricane vs. Simon Dean

Simon is Nova from ECW and had a gimmick where he was a sponsor of Raw and pitched a weight loss system. Just take a guess as to how well this goes. This is his debut match. Simon wants to have an amateur style match so Hurricane rolls him up for two. Simon takes over with nothing significant. This is really the best match they can give us on Monday Night Raw? The King makes fun of TMNT and I hate him already. Hurricane breaks a chinlock and hits some fast paced stuff. The Shining Wizard misses and Dean rolls him up for the pin with tights.

Rating: F. This is the best they can do for Monday Night Raw? Seriously? Yeah that’s all I’ve got here.

We get a video of Lita’s surprise bridal shower where the heel Divas humiliated her.

Orton makes fun of Coach and talks about being a GM for a week last week.

Here’s Edge who is all fired up. He’s mad about the title being held up and says that’s a travesty against him. He talks about how he beat Benoit last week (and DID NOT tap out!) and got to hold the world title but got screwed again. The person responsible for that is Randy Orton. He calls Orton’s title reign a failure and calls him out.

Here’s the Apex Viper who isn’t orange and has skin on his forearms. Orton says it could have been one on one but Evolution would have gotten involved. Edge only has himself to blame. I miss this Orton. “Unlike you Edge, I’ve been world champion.” AWESOME line there and it’s nice to see Orton having some emotion. They slug it out until security breaks it up.

Video on Blade Trinity.

Intercontinental Title: Shelton Benjamin vs. Christian

Christian looks like an idiot in the Captain Charisma costume. Get it, it’s funny. He looks a bit like The Flash. Shelton was AWESOME at this point so he uses all of his athleticism to take over including a head fake into a top rope clothesline. Christian takes over with his basic stuff and yells a lot. The Canadian goes up and jumps into a punch to the ribs. A Russian legsweep and a middle rope sunset flip both get two for Benjamin. Shelton gets caught in a rollup off the middle rope and Tomko slides in a title belt. Tomko adds a big boot but it only gets two. Unprettier is countered into the Exploder and Shelton retains.

Rating: D+. Not a horrible match or anything but it was there for the comedy and that’s all. That’s fine, but they need to have something other than that after a Eugene match and a Simon Dean match. This was nothing to see at all here and I really am getting why no one ever talks about this era in the company. This show has mostly sucked so far.

Jericho comes out and makes Edge vs. Orton. He also leads Fozzy in singing the goodbye song to Christian. He’s not fired that I know of but I guess it’s just to humiliate him.

Here’s a Smackdown Recap which saw Team JBL beating down Taker which didn’t end well.

The next Lita clip is Trish interrupting her wedding to Kane in some very nice lingerie for some reason. Not complaining at all.

Snitsky comes up to Lita in the back and reminds her that he got rid of her baby and ended Kane’s career.

We see HHH getting stripped of the title earlier. Flair tries to call Eric but HHH only gets his machine. He says fix this. Flair plugs Raw Magazine and HHH’s book and the movie. Batista comes in and hangs the phone up. He says he’s stopping HHH from making a huge mistake and wants to know what HHH is going to do.

HHH/Batista vs. Chris Benoit/Chris Jericho

Lillian calls HHH the former champion so he chases her into the crowd. HHH vs. Benoit gets us going and Benoit chops away. Off to Jericho who beats on HHH ever more. The fans want Flair. Back to the other Chris who gets the Crossface but HHH’s feet are in the ropes. For some reason Evolution doesn’t tag so Jericho beats on HHH even more. Batista comes in illegally and the Canadian Chrises send him to the floor with a double dropkick as we take a break.

Back with Batista hooking a camel clutch. We see a clip from the commercial with Flair interfering to let Big Dave hit a spinebuster on Jericho. Off to the Game for some abdominal stretchery. Batista comes in but Jericho kicks his leg out to take over. Back to Benoit vs. HHH and Flair is knocked down to HUGE booing of Benoit.

Ever the nice guy, Benoit hits a baseball slide onto an old man to send him flying. Rolling Germans take care of HHH, followed by a Lionsault, a Swan Dive and then the double Liontamer/Crossface. Batista makes the save and takes over on Jericho but HHH brings in a chair to crack Benoit with for the DQ.

Rating: C-. The double submission probably should have ended it but this wasn’t much of a tag match either way. The commercial break took up almost half of the match and it wasn’t worth watching otherwise anyway. Jericho just wasn’t interesting at this point and this was all about Evolution and the post match stuff.

HHH keeps going off with the chair and hits everyone in sight, including the referee and accidentally Batista.

Trish is looking great and stretching when two production guys stare at her. Can’t say I blame them. Lita comes up and kisses Trish (Kiss of Death) and it’s main event time.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Lita

Even in a faceguard with what looks like masking tape over her face, Trish is gorgeous. How is that possible? Lita’s song is great too. 2004 had some awesome theme music. They lockup and go to the floor quickly. Lita takes over with a leg sweep for two. Remember that she’s the hometown girl. They go to the floor again and Lita tries a suicide dive and Lita lands ON HER HEAD, jacking her neck back in a landing that made my jaw drop and be stunned she isn’t dead. I mean she landed on her face and her feet hit her in the back of the head. The referee immediately checks on her and the crowd goes quiet.

The match keeps going as I guess she’s alive somehow. Trish takes the noseguard off and pops Lita in the face with it which isn’t a DQ somehow. Lita fights out of a choke and throws on a sleeper but gets countered into a seated full nelson. Trish goes up but gets caught in a superplex to put both girls down. Back up and the Chick Kick gets two. Trish pounds away in the corner and gets powerbombed to set up the moonsault but Trish breaks it up. Rollup gets two and Trish grabs a DDT for two. Stratusfaction is broken up and there’s a reverse Twist of Fate. The moonsault gives Lita her second title.

Rating: B. Considering that neck shot, WOW Lita was impressive here. At the end of the day, this was a solid match and they made it feel like a big moment. This was Lita’s second title, but she hadn’t won it in over four years so it’s not like this was something that happened every day. Trish would win it back in less than a month and hold it until Wrestlemania. As in the Wrestlemania the year after she won it, giving her a reign of about 15 months.

Overall Rating: D. This show sucked other than the main event. I can really see why no one talked about 2004 and the years around it: this stuff SUCKED. I mean, the first three match include the names of Maven, Simon Dean and TWO superhero characters. This was a really weak show and they couldn’t save it with a solid main event, which isn’t something you see that often. Bad show.

 

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