Survivor Series 2002
Date: November 17, 2002
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 17,930
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz

Well we’re into the brand split era now and last month on Smackdown’s PPV, we had a Cell match between Taker and Lesnar. Bischoff’s response: the Elimination Chamber. This is one of those shows that ticks me off to no end because of how the booking goes. Other than that, we’ve got a stupid booking decision on Smackdown as well which I don’t think I complained about enough the first time. Let’s get to it.

The theme song is Always by Saliva which is a personal favorite.

Dudley Boys/Jeff Hardy vs. 3 Minute Warning/Rico

This is an elimination tables match. Oh and that’s Bubba and Spike, not D-Von. Spike and Bubba got put through the same table on Raw Monday to set this up. The Dudleys and Jeff clear the ring to start and Spike is thrown into the arms of the Samoans. It’s Bubba vs. Rico in the ring at the moment, because putting Spike and Jeff against Umaga and Rosey is a great idea right? Bubba chops Rico HARD in the corner before things settle down.

What’s Up hits Jamal and we get to the tagging section of the match before everything breaks down again. Bubba tells Jeff to get the tables but Rosey runs over Bubba after Bubba sets up a table in the corner. A BIG backdrop puts Jeff on the floor and Rosey rams Spike’s head into a table. Rosey misses a charge and drives himself through a table in the corner but that doesn’t count because it wasn’t someone else putting him through.

Jeff tries a top rope dive at Rosey but literally bounces off. Rico brings in another table and gets caught in a Dudley Dog, but 3 Minute Warning catches him in a double powerbomb to put Spike through the table instead. Jeff and Bubba get slammed down but Bubba knocks Rosey off the top and Jeff sends Rico flying into a cameraman. Bubba pounds away but Rico hits a spinwheel kick to take his head off. Rico could go in the ring make no mistake.

Rosey and Jeff go out into the crowd and there’s a table out there with them. Jeff is put on said table as Bubba gets kicked in the face by Rico. Jamal misses a splash and crushes Rico, allowing Bubba to Bubba Bomb Jamal and go to save Jeff. With Bubba’s help, Jeff goes up to the top of an entrance and hits a BIG Swanton through Rosey through the table to make it 2-2.

Back in the ring Jamal has Bubba on a table ready for a Rico moonsault, but he looks hesitant to launch. He looks over his shoulder, shouts “C’MON JEFF!” before staggering. THEN Jeff shakes the ropes and Rico crotches himself. Not the best response but that’s on Jeff more than Rico. Bubba tries a belly to back superplex through the table but Jamal moves it away. Jeff hits Whisper in the Wind to Jamal and follows it with a dropkick.

Hardy goes to the floor to get another table which he throws at Jamal. Jeff tries to run the railing but Jamal throws the table at Jeff, who goes flying through it. That doesn’t count which I can kind of agree with. Jamal puts Jeff on another table and hits a HUGE splash off the top to eliminate Jeff. That looks awesome. Bubba beats on Rico in the ring but Jamal saves his sideburned buddy. Jamal goes up to try a top rope rana (I guess) on Bubba, only to get caught in a HUGE powerbomb through the table to get us down to one on one.

It’s Rico vs. Bubba with the former pounding away and pulling in another table. Rosey comes back in but Bubba pounds away on him too. Now Jamal is in there too and it’s D-VON to the rescue! He’s on Smackdown at this point so this is a big deal. 3D puts Rico through the table to end this.

Rating: B-. That’s likely high but this was what you want to open a show. It helps a lot that this was a fifteen minute match instead of like six minutes like they are on Raw. This was fun and the pop for the reunion of the Dudleys (which would be permanent) was a feel good moment. Good stuff here and a good choice to open things up, especially in New York City.

Stacy is at the World (WWF New York) looking great. She introduces Saliva who is doing a miniconcert at the club. They perform Always here to eat up a few minutes and we get a video about the remaining matches.

RVD is stretching before the Chamber.

Cruiserweight Title: Jamie Noble vs. Billy Kidman

Jamie is defending and has Nidia with him. Kidman grabs two very fast rollups for two and make that four in the first 30 seconds. Jamie bails to the floor but Kidman throws him right back in. Noble comes back with a neckbreaker and it’s off to a bow and arrow. Kidman gets thrown to the floor and Noble hits a suicide dive. Tazz: “I think Noble has something up his sleeve, but he’s not wearing a shirt so he has no sleeve.”

Back in and Kidman speeds things up with a back elbow and a dropkick followed by an AA into a backbreaker for two. A Falcon’s Arrow gets two for Noble so Kidman hits Tessmacher’s Tesshocker (belly to back suplex position but he slams Noble down face first instead). Kidman loads up the Shooting Star but Noble bails to the floor. That’s fine with Billy so he dives on Noble out there to take the champ down again.

Back in and Nidia distracts Kidman but gets knocked off the apron by Kidman. The BK Bomb (Low Down) gets two for Kidman as does a Tiger Bomb for Noble. They go up top and Kidman hits a sitout inverted DDT. That was pretty awesome looking but it only gets two. Noble hits Orton’s Elevated DDT for two out of the corner so Kidman hits an enziguri to take over again. Billy loads up the Shooting Star but a Nidia distraction….only delays Kidman as he hits the Shooting Star for the pin and the title.

Rating: B-. These two got going good and strong at the end which is exactly what you want from a match like this. When you can get into the area of a match where it’s one big move after another and you’re just waiting on one of them to stay down, that’s a great sign. The Shooting Star looked great too. This wasn’t a masterpiece or anything but it was solid.

Angle and Benoit are in the back and Angle is incensed that Kidman could win a title. If he can win, then so can they, as long as Benoit stays out of the captain’s way. Benoit gets in his face but Angle says they should be friends to the end. Benoit offers a handshake but Angle says no way. Angle: “I don’t shake hands! Tag team partners hug!” So HELL NO is ripping off Benoit and Angle?

Victoria, still psycho here, is looking in a mirror. Then she thinks it’s Trish and goes nuts.

We recap Trish vs. Victoria, which is a hardcore match. Victoria is batty and claims that it’s because she and Trish used to work together as fitness models, but Trish slept her way to the top. Tonight it’s about revenge. Why can’t stories today have simple backstories like that? I mean, it’s not that hard to LIE.

Women’s Title: Victoria vs. Trish Stratus

Hardcore rules here and Trish is defending. This is their second PPV match after Trish won last month. Victoria immediately chokes her with Trish’s coat before getting a broom out of one of the trashcans on each post. Trish jumps the broom (lucky guy) but Victoria takes her down almost immediately. Victoria chokes her with the broom in the corner but gets flipped to the mat.

Now Trish finds a trashcan lid but Victoria knocks the lid into her head with the broom. We head to the floor and Trish gets whipped HARD into the trashcan. Back in and Victoria hits her slingshot legdrop for two. The challenger puts a trashcan in between the top and middle rope but Trish grabs her legs and slingshots Victoria’s head into the can. Trish sets up an ironing board in the corner and whips Victoria into it for two.

It’s kendo stick time with Victoria taking a beating. She gets a boot up in the corner though and BLASTS Trish with a trashcan lid. Victoria has a bloody nose and sits on the middle rope, allowing Trish to try a rana out of the corner. Victoria counters into a kind of Boston Crab position, but Trish does a big situp and hits Victoria in the head with a can lid.

That only stuns her though so Trish BLASTS her in the head with a trashcan lid again to knock Vicotira off the ropes and out to the floor. Victoria gets a mirror from under the ring but Trish superkicks her down. Chick Kick (Punk’s high kick) gets two for Trish as does a bulldog. Victoria rolls to the floor and pulls out a fire extinguisher to blast Trish with. That and a suplex gets the pin and the title for the nutjob.

Rating: B. This was AWESOME with both chicks beating the tar out of each other. The story of the match worked really well too with Trish trying to wrestle her way out of trouble against a monster that wanted to hurt her no matter what. This worked really well and is one of the most intense Divas matches you’ll ever see.

Booker is getting ready.

Bischoff brags about the Chamber for a bit. Show comes up and says he’ll show Eric why trading him to Smackdown was a bad idea.

Heyman is worried that Brock can’t beat Big Show. Lesnar has (legit, due to Show hurting him at a house show) bad ribs.

We recap Show vs. Lesnar. Lesnar beat Taker in the Cell last month, so Show beat up Taker to make himself the next challenger. Even Heyman says Brock can’t beat him.

Smackdown World Title: Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar

Lesnar is defending here and is mostly a face now. It’s on in a hurry as the fans are behind Lesnar. Show gets in a shot to the ribs in the corner and launches Brock across the ring. Brock is all like BRING IT ON and grabs a double leg to take Show down. They head to the floor and Brock gets rammed into the post. Back in and Brock pounds away before hitting something like a belly to back suplex. Show misses a charge and Brock “hits” a German, which means Show lands on Brock’s head. Brock tries an F5 but Show knees him in the ribs.

The referee gets bumped and Brock THROWS Big Show down with an overhead belly to belly. Heyman throws in a chair and Brock cracks Show over the head with it. There’s the F5 and a new referee but Heyman pulls the referee out of the ring. This makes no sense and I’ll get to why in a second. Lesnar figures out what’s going on and gives chase, but charges right into a pair of chair shots to the ribs. Show chokeslams Brock onto the chair for the pin and the title. That’s Brock’s first ever loss.

Rating: D+. Most of that is for Lesnar’s INSANE power. Here’s why this match ticks me off: Lesnar had to get the title taken off of him because of injury. That’s fine. So they pick BIG SHOW to take it from him? This is the same idea as Nash beating Goldberg: you have an unstoppable monster and you take the title off of him for the sake of this old dude? You have Angle, Benoit, Eddie Guerrero and Edge on the Smackdown roster and you pick BIG SHOW? Now to be fair Angle got the title in a month, but why not just cut out the middle man and make a new star?

As for why Heyman’s turn makes no sense, the whole idea of the match was that Heyman didn’t think Lesnar could suplex, F5 or beat Big Show. He did the first two things and had Show beat until Heyman turned. Heyman is a lot of things, but he’s always been someone that knows what kind of a monster he’s got and sticks with them to the end. This is out of character for him, especially when an injured Brock had proven he could beat Show. So on top of being a bad match with bad booking, it makes no sense. Nice job WWE.

Show and Heyman immediately bail.

We recap the triple threat tag title match. Benoit and Angle beat Rey and Edge in the match of the year at No Mercy in a tournament final. The new champions argued over who is team captain and have to work together or they’re suspended. Edge and Mysterio won the titles on Smackdown in 2/3 falls match. Stephanie threw in Los Guerreros because these six are the Smackdown Six and you can’t have just four of them together, even though we’ve had that for months. Not that I’m complaining though, because this is going to be AWESOME.

Smackdown Tag Titles: Edge/Rey Mysterio vs. Kurt Angle/Chris Benoit vs. Los Guerreros

Edge and Mysterio are champions and this is under elimination rules. It’s Mysterio vs. Benoit to start which is fine with me. Benoit hits a HARD chop but gets caught in a rana and a flapjack to give Rey what will likely be a short lived advantage. Off to Edge for a double hiptoss before Kurt gets the tag and a big pop. Chavo punches Angle in the back of the head and that’s a tag apparently.

Chavo gets shouldered down but nips up immediately. Off to Mysterio vs. Eddie which is one of those pairings that works no matter what. A headscissors takes Eddie down and it’s off to Kurt to face the masked dude. They’re going very fast paced so far. Angle misses a charge into the post but Rey takes too much time on the top and gets run over by Kurt. The Olympian tags in the psycho who suplexes Rey down for two.

Back to Angle who suplexes Rey down and gets in a cheap shot on Edge. The Angle Slam is countered but Angle clotheslines Rey down instead. Back to Chris as Tazz talks about Los Guerreros not wanting to get in yet. The battling partners tag in again so Angle can put on a front facelock. Rey fights up after about a minute in the hold and kicks Kurt in the face to take him down.

There’s the hot tag to Edge who cleans house with a bunch of suplexes. Eddie comes in and goes to the floor with Rey. Edge misses the spear and gets caught in a Crossface and ankle lock AT THE SAME TIME. Mysterio breaks both parts of the hold up and Chavo pulls Angle to the floor. Rey dives on both of them and Benoit Germans Edge but Eddie comes in off the top to sunset flip Benoit, sending Edge flying in a German for two each. Eddie gets suplexed to the floor with his head smashing into the apron on the way down. FREAKING OW MAN!

Benoit rolls more Germans on Edge (Gee I wonder why he needed neck surgery five months after this) and Eddie hits the Frog Splash on Edge but Benoit hits the Swan Dive on Eddie. Angle Slam and Ankle lock to Eddie while Benoit Crossfaces Edge. Chavo hits Benoit with a belt and throws the belt to Angle. Benoit thinks Angle hit him and Mysterio dropkicks Chris into Angle. Angle and Rey go to the floor and Edge spears Benoit for the elimination. Absolutely amazing sequence there which NEVER STOPPED.

Angle and Benoit destroy Edge and Rey before leaving. They lay out Los Guerreros too for fun. Eddie vs. Edge keeps the match going and Eddie suplexes the Canadian down before it’s off to Chavo. Chavo pounds away on Edge as Los Guerreros double team. We get down to a much more standard tag team formula with Edge playing Ricky Morton. Edge finally comes back with a double clothesline and it’s off to Rey.

Things speed up again with Rey flying all over the place and hitting a headscissors to put Chavo down. Edge spears both guys down and launches Rey up to rana Eddie off the top. That’s another awesome sequence. There’s the 619 to Eddie but Chavo hits Rey in the back to break up the West Coast Pop. Eddie puts on the Lasso From El Paso (a Boston Crab/Sharpshooter hybrid) for the tap and the titles.

Rating: B+. This was a match that felt like it got hacked to death. If you give these guys another 15 minutes (the match ran 20) and take away the belt shots, the match gets a lot better. The first half, as in before the first elimination, is INCREDIBLE. The stuff after that though is good but standard. Still though, these guys were the future of the company and it was a good sign to see them. Combine that with three guys named Batista, Orton and Cena that had debuted earlier in the year and you’ve got the next five years of WWE.

Here’s Nowitski to make fun of New York in a really stupid promo. Matt Hardy comes out to yell at him before blasting New York as well. The mouth running goes on even longer until FINALLY Scott Steiner debuts and murders them. Somehow this took SEVEN AND A HALF MINUTES. Steiner would go on to have perhaps the two worst PPV world title matches in recorded history against HHH before being shunted down the card.

Shawn says he believes in himself but we get RNN BREAKING NEWS! It’s Randy Orton who has a bad shoulder. He says there’s no new damage to his bad shoulder due to an extra pillow on the plane. This was the WAY over the top deal that Orton was doing which first turned him heel. I loved it but it got annoying fast, which is the right idea.

We recap the Elimination Chamber. HHH is the official WORLD CHAMPION OF EVERYTHING but Shawn beat him at Summerslam and wants a rematch. Bischoff wants to top the Cell so here’s his latest idea. The rules are mostly simple: two guys start and there are four more in individual pods. After five minutes there’s a new guy introduced and it’s elimination rules. The winner is world champion. The other four guys are there because they’re the biggest stars on Raw. This is set to Always again and they’re not even trying to hide that this is ALL about HHH vs. Shawn.

HHH says that he’s awesome and he’ll keep the title.

Eric comes out and walks through the Chamber to explain everything I just said. Apparently the glass is bulletproof. This is the first time the Chamber had been seen and I believe the first time the rules have been explained.

Raw World Title: Kane vs. Chris Jericho vs. HHH vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Booker T vs. Rob Van Dam

Jericho is a tag champion, but the cool part here is that as he comes out, Saliva does his theme song live at WWF New York. HHH is defending of course. Shawn’s tights are….brown. This is one of those decisions that no one ever quite got and he was made fun of extensively for them apparently. I mean…..BROWN? Mankind wore brown for crying out loud. The wide show of the Chamber really does look cool. Anyway the entrances take a long time and RVD vs. HHH gets us going.

Van Dam hits a spinwheel kick to take HHH down but walks into a facebuster. The Pedigree is countered into a backdrop over the top to hit the cage outside the ring. JR’s statements about the Chamber are already nuts as he says it has no soul or conscience. IT’S A FREAKING CAGE! Anyway, HHH is rammed into the cage over and over to bust him open and Van Dam hits Rolling Thunder over the top rope to land on HHH on the cage. Yeah there’s a floor made of cage surrounding the ring that is level with the mat if you’ve somehow never seen one of these.

Van Dam goes up on one of the pods but his flip dive mostly hits the floor instead of HHH. Back in the ring and HHH gets stomped down in the corner as Jericho is added in as the third man. Van Dam immediately kicks him down and it’s five minutes until the next entrant. A cartwheel into a moonsault gets two on Jericho and they head outside the ring as well. In the first famous spot in the Chamber’s history, Van Dam jumps off the top rope, misses Jericho, and grabs onto the cage like Spider-Man before spinning back around to cross body Jericho. That’s still awesome.

HHH gets back up and hits the knee to the face of Van Dam which gives Jericho a two count. HHH and Jericho double team RVD before Chris tells Shawn to suck it. Van Dam’s back gets rammed into the cage wall some more and Jericho talks a lot of trash. Rob’s back goes into the cage over and over and we head back in to the ring. There’s a spin kick to put Jericho down as Booker T is in fourth.

Booker quickly clears the ring and we get a Spinarooni before Van Dam fights Booker one on one. Booker gets in some shots to Rob but walks into the stepover kick to give Van Dam control again. HHH gets back up and takes Van Dam down, only to get caught by the scissors kick from Booker. The next big spot of the match is Van Dam going up to the top of the pod and hitting the Five Star on HHH, with Van Dam’s knee hitting HHH’s throat, severely (and legitimately) injuring HHH’s windpipe. Since HHH can’t get up right now to eliminate Van Dam, Booker hits a missile dropkick to take Van Dam out.

Booker grabs a quick cover on HHH but only gets two. Jericho goes after Booker but gets caught in an Alabama Slam for his efforts. Kane comes in fifth because we don’t quite know if Shawn’s back can handle a full match yet. Kane goes off on Booker and Jericho as HHH lays on the outside. Jericho gets launched face first into the cage wall and is then thrown through the BULLETPROOF, yes BULLETPROOF I SAY glass. This would become a running joke in the Chamber.

JR says the Chamber has no soul or conscience again just to hammer home the point. Kane chokeslams Booker and Jericho adds the Lionsault to take Booker out and get us down to four guys. A Kane suplex gets two on Jericho as we’re waiting on Shawn to come in. HHH goes up top for no apparent reason and gets slammed down ala Flair. Jericho missile dropkicks Kane down and here’s HBK.

HHH is down in the corner of course so Shawn can only beat on Kane and Jericho. There’s the forearm to Kane but no nipup, leaving everyone down at the moment. Kane whips Shawn HARD into the corner where Shawn flips upside down. There’s a chokeslam for all three remaining guys not named Kane but instead of covering, Kane loads up a Tombstone on HHH. Shawn superkicks Kane down but he sits up. The Pedigree and Lionsault finally put Kane out and we’re down to three.

Shawn gets double teamed by HHH and Jericho and it’s time for Chris to dance. After being rammed into the cage a few times, Michaels is busted open. Jericho talks more trash and HHH walks around a lot. Shawn tries to fight back but his piledriver on the cage is countered to backdrop his bad back onto the cage again. There’s the Lionsault….for two. You know, the move that put out Booker and Kane earlier? It’s now not enough to put down Shawn when he’s been beaten down and injured on top of having one match in four and a half years.

Shawn comes back with a moonsault press to Jericho for two before putting Jericho in the Walls. HHH finally comes back from getting popcorn or something with a DDT to Shawn. Jericho and HHH finally get in the argument you were expecting and the fight is on. Jericho jumps out of the corner and lands in the Pedigree, but Jericho counters into the Walls. While holding HHH, Shawn kicks Jericho’s head off and it’s down to one on one. If this surprises you, you’re an imbecile.

So it’s Shawn, bloodied and injured and in his second match in four years, against an also injured HHH in the main event at Madison Square Garden. Gosh I’m so glad these two are so selfless. The spinebuster puts Shawn down and HHH backdrops him over the top. Shawn sends HHH into the cage but when Shawn tries to Pedigree HHH on the steel, HHH counters into a slingshot through the cage again. You know, because Shawn would still be alive at this point.

Back in the ring all that gets two and it’s time for the slugout. Seriously, those brown tights are so stupid looking. A facebuster puts Shawn down and it’s another clothesline to put him onto the outside. The Pedigree on the steel is countered into another slingshot into the Chamber wall. Back into the ring and Shawn drops the elbow off the top of the pod. The Superkick is countered into the Pedigree and, say it with me, Shawn kicks out at two. Another Pedigree is countered into a backdrop, followed by the Sweet Chin Music to give Shawn the title.

Rating: D+. I’ve mellowed on this match in the last few years to the point where I’m not mad about it anymore. However, it’s still one of those matches where you look at it and say really. As in REALLY? We’re supposed to buy that Shawn can survive ALL of that and still win the freaking title? You have to keep in mind this isn’t the Shawn who was having the match of the year for like five years running. No one expected him to go on as long as he did. At this point, making it to Wrestlemania would have been impressive.

That’s where this match loses it for me: we’re supposed to buy that Shawn is so great, so amazing, and so tough that he can basically walk off the street and be better than four of the top guys in the business? There comes a point where my suspension of disbelief is cut off and I can’t buy this anymore. We passed that at Summerslam, making this even more ridiculous. This match is also the reason we had to sit through the AWFUL match at Armageddon, where HHH and Shawn got to waste 40 minutes of our time by barely being able to move.

In short, this is way more than I can accept as far as the match being realistic. In wrestling, you have to accept that some stuff is ridiculous. That’s called suspending disbelief. However, there comes a point where that’s not the case any longer. It’s unrealistic in wrestling terms to accept that Shawn can survive all this and win the title. This was pure selfishness from Shawn and HHH, which would get WAY worse in the future. HHH wouldn’t make a new star for over a YEAR when he put Benoit over at Wrestlemania in the same arena.

As for the rest of the match, it’s acceptable, but WAY too long. The Chamber matches need to go about thirty minutes instead of the forty this one went. The last seventeen minutes here, as in the amount of time after Kane is eliminated, are REALLY repetitive and while they had good drama, they needed to be cut. Booker, RVD, Jericho and Kane were all there to fill in spaces and be there for Shawn and HHH to bounce off of. I don’t hate the match, but it really doesn’t work all that well.

Confetti falls to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The show overall is pretty solid actually but the main event is a good sized letdown. The Show/Lesnar stuff I went on about enough, but other than those two things the card is pretty solid. The triple threat tag is good stuff but the No Mercy match is even better. This show is worth checking out, but you won’t be thrilled by the Chamber.

Ratings Comparison

Dudley Boys/Jeff Hardy vs. Rico/3 Minute Warning

Original: B

Redo: B-

Billy Kidman vs. Jamie Noble

Original: C+

Redo: B-

Victoria vs. Trish Stratus

Original: C-

Redo: B

Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: D-

Redo: D+

Los Guerreros vs. Kurt Angle/Chris Benoit vs. Edge/Rey Mysterio

Original: B

Redo: B+

Shawn Michaels vs. HHH vs. Booker T vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Kane vs. Chris Jericho

Original: B

Redo: D+

Overall Rating

Original: B-

Redo: C+

Dang that’s a big swing on the Chamber. I don’t remember liking it that much the first time.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/02/20/survivor-series-2002-the-longest-rant-about-anything-ive-ever-done/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

 

 

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Survivor Series 2000
Date: November 19, 2000
Location: Ice Palace, Tampa, Florida
Attendance: 18,602
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

After Austin was run over last year, it was revealed that Rikishi had been driving. Once people realized this was possibly the dumbest idea in wrestling history, the story was changed to Rikishi being the henchman for the real big bad: HHH. Tonight’s main event is Austin vs. HHH in a grudge match, along with Rock vs. Rikishi in a match that no one was asking for. Oh and remember that Angle guy that debuted here last year? He’s world champion now and defending against the now biker Undertaker. For some reason I never remember this show so hopefully it’ll make a better impression on me here. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about HHH of course. This is one of those instances where I’m fine with the focus not being on the title match, because this story is more important.

Steve Blackman/Crash Holly/Molly Holly vs. T&A/Trish Stratus

If there’s a story here, I certainly can’t think of it. This was during the time where T&A took over the APA’s offices and called themselves the T&APA. Molly is brand new here and is still quite cute. Blackman is Hardcore Champion. Albert and Blackman start things off and apparently Crash is here because the APA left him in charge of the office. Speaking of Crash he comes in and dives into a slam from Albert, which is countered into a cross body.

Trish wants to beat up Crash but kicks Albert low instead. Off to Molly so Trish runs. Test comes in so Molly bails. We’re doing a lot of running around here without anything of note happening. Crash hits a nice slingshot rana for two but gets his head kicked off by Test. The Pumphandle Slam is escapes and Test is sent into Albert. Trish comes in and misses an elbow so it’s back to Molly. Albert pulls Molly’s hair but Trish can’t do anything with her yet. Blackman’s tag isn’t seen and T&A beats on Molly for a second before everything breaks down. A bulldog gets two for Trish but Molly finishes her with a top rope sunset flip.

Rating: C-. The match wasn’t terrible or anything, but why wasn’t this a dark match? The story is barely there, the wrestling was just ok, and I don’t think this really fired up anyone for the show. I don’t get the thinking here but maybe they just wanted to get this out of the way before we got to everything else? That’s all I can think of. Trish and Molly looked good at least.

Molly is about to fall out of her top and Jerry loses it.

Christian is sick so Edge and Christian can’t help Angle in the world title match. They’re on for beers after the show though.

Tiger Ali Singh and Low Down (Chaz (Mosh from the Headbangers)/D’Lo Brown) can’t get into the building. This guy was around for years and never went anywhere.

Radicalz vs. Team Chyna

Chris Benoit, Perry Saturn, Dean Malenko, Eddie Guerrero

Road Dogg, Billy Gunn, K-Kwik, Chyna

Kwik is R-Truth, which is what I’ll be referring to him as more than likely. Eddie is IC Champion and Dean is Light Heavyweight Champion. I would call this Team DX but they’re not together anymore. Saturn and Gunn get things going here but it’s quickly off to Chyna for a double suplex. Chyna pounds away in the corner as we’re waiting on the Eddie vs. Chyna showdown. A powerslam gets two on Saturn and there’s the handspring elbow but Saturn catches her. A DDT puts Saturn down but everything breaks down. Eddie hits Chyna in the back with a title belt and Saturn gets the easy pin.

Roadie comes in next but gets suplexed down almost immediately. Off to Eddie who pounds away and dropkicks Dogg’s knee out. Dean comes in but it’s quickly back to Eddie for a slingshot hilo onto the knee. Eddie goes up but runs his mouth too long, allowing Roadie to superplex him down. There’s the hot tag to Billy who immediately charges into a triple team in the Radicals’ corner. Smart guy that Billy. Billy fights them off and takes over on Eddie with a gorilla press and the One and Only (sleeper drop) for the pin and elimination.

Off to Dean vs. Truth with the latter flipping out of a hip toss. Truth tries a Downward Spiral but Dean falls backwards instead. Eh they screwed that one up. Off to Benoit who wants nothing to do with the hipping and the hopping so he Germans the tar out of Truth for the pin to make it 3-2. Off to Saturn vs. Road Dogg with the former taking over. Dean suplexes Dogg down for two and it’s back to Saturn for a northern lights suplex to get us down to Saturn/Benoit/Malenko vs. Billy.

Billy gets to fight Dean first with the Radicals taking over quickly. Benoit low bridges Billy but Saturn accidentally superkicks Benoit on the floor. Back in the ring Dean ducks his head and the Fameasser makes it 2-1. A Jackhammer gets two on Saturn as Benoit makes the save. Benoit hits the Swan Dive for two and the Wolverine is shocked on the kickout. Benoit is sent to the apron and Gunn tries to suplex him back in, only for the Warrior/Rude ending with Saturn tripping Billy and holding his foot for the pin.

Rating: C. This was fine but it never got to be anything interesting. Truth never worked in the WWF in his original run and the whole tandem rapping thing with Road Dogg didn’t work at all. Gunn was into that awkward singles stage of his which never worked the way the company wanted it to. Not bad here but it was nothing better than fine.

Rock is here and doesn’t want to chat with Lillian.

Jericho talks about a beast that is about to explode, meaning himself against Kane. Jericho spilled coffee on Kane and made burn remarks, setting up this feud. Unfortunately Jericho didn’t get the Sanka on a Pole match.

Kane vs. Chris Jericho

Big pop for Jericho here. Jericho pounds away to start but the offense doesn’t have much effect. Kane slugs him down in the corner but Jericho keeps speeding things up. We head to the floor with Jericho diving mostly over the top to take Kane out. They head back to the apron and Jericho dropkicks Kane down to the floor. The steps get kicked into Kane’s face and the Canadian keeps control.

Jericho tries a top rope cross body but is easily caught and slammed down for two. Apparently Jericho has a bad back from being through through a window by Kane on Raw. Kane pounds him down in the corner but Jericho escapes a belly to back suplex with some right hands to the head. Jericho charges into a big boot and Kane hooks a freakish over the back choke, as in their backs are to each other with Kane pulling on Jericho’s chin while Jericho is in the air.

Kane pulls the buckle pad off but neither guy can get rammed into it. Kane uppercuts Jericho down over and over but Jericho keeps popping back up. Back to the floor with Kane still in full control. Kane goes up but gets crotched to slow him down. Another attempt at the clothesline jumps into a dropkick to the ribs and things speed up a bit.

Jericho blocks a big boot and goes up top with a missile dropkick getting two. Jericho’s forearm is caught but he slides down Kane’s back and rams him into the exposed buckle. There are the Walls on Kane for a good while but Kane finally crawls to the ropes. They get their legs intertwined and fall to the mat where Kane kicks Jericho off. In an embarrassing looking spot, Jericho hits the bulldog but Kane is too far away so the masked dude has to scoot over so it can hit. Not that it matters as he catches Jericho in a chokeslam for the pin.

Rating: C-. This didn’t work for me for the most part. The idea was supposed to be about Kane hating Jericho for insulting him, but instead this was just a wrestling match. On top of that the match wasn’t a particularly good one with Jericho not really doing anything beyond his basic stuff. Their last man standing match at Armageddon was much better.

Terri tells the Radicals that HHH has a plan for later.

European Title: Hardcore Holly vs. William Regal

Regal is defending and he complains about American manners before the match. Holly pounds away to start and Regal is more than comfortable in a fist fight. Regal trips Holly up and sends him shoulder first into the post. The fans don’t seem to care about this and I can’t say I blame them. Regal works on the arm for awhile before waving to the fans. Off to a cross armbreaker for awhile before Holly is stomped to the floor. Regal works on the arm a bit more but gets caught by a crossbody for two. A low blow stops Holly and it’s back to the arm. Holly finally snaps and goes to the floor, grabs the belt and hits Regal for the DQ.

Rating: D-. LAME match here as it kept going forever (even though it didn’t even last six minutes) and no one cared. Then on top of that Holly just goes to the floor and gets the belt for a DQ? Why would he do something like that? My guess is his brain was melted by how boring this match was. I have no idea what they were thinking here.

Angle is warming up in the back when Trish comes up. Tonight is the start of Angle’s second year in the company and Trish points out that Stephanie isn’t here tonight, so maybe Kurt needs some “special” assistance.. Angle appreciates it but doesn’t need Test and Albert. Kurt was hilarious back then.

We recap Rock vs. Rikishi. Rikishi was revealed as the driver of the car that ran over Austin. When he was explaining what he did, he said that he did it for the Rock. Rock rose up the card during Austin’s absence because while Austin was there, the Samoans were being held down. Yep, they turned it into a race thing. Rikishi was in a car driven by HHH and drove at Rock, hitting him in the chest with a sledgehammer, leaving Rock in bad shape coming into tonight.

Rikishi vs. The Rock

Rock charges at the ring and it’s on quickly. Rock pounds Rikishi against the ropes and hits a Samoan Drop. He grabs a chair but Tim White disarms Rock, allowing Rikishi to superkick him down. A single stomp to Rock’s injured chest gives the fat man control. Rikishi hits a legdrop and Rock is already in trouble. Rock tries some right hands but Rikishi takes him right back down with a side slam for two.

Rock sends him to the floor and sends Rikishi’s head into the steps. Seriously, Rock, you’re half Samoan. You know better than that. Rikishi pops back up and drops Rock chest first onto the barricade to take over again. The referee gets run over and we head back into the ring. Rikishi pulls out a sledgehammer but walks into a Rock Bottom before he can swing it. The referee crawls back in but it only gets a very delayed two.

Rikishi takes him down again and hits a headbutt to the chest to take over again. A Samoan Drop puts Rock down and Rikishi sits down on his chest for two. Rikishi rams into Rock in the corner and loads up a Stinkface to humiliate Rock a bit. Rock explodes out of the corner with a clothesline and both guys are down. A superkick misses and Rock spinebusters him down. The People’s Elbow gets…the pin? A single elbow apparently is enough to keep Rikishi down for about 40 seconds while Rock crawls over to him. That’s one heck of an elbow.

Rating: C+. This took a bit to get going but once they got to the big slugfest stuff it was a lot better. At the end of the day though, Rikishi just did not belong in this world and he never worked as a heel. He’s a fat guy in a thong and not a guy that people want to boo. Thankfully once the six man Cell was over he pretty much just stopped being a main eventer and formed a Samoan monster team with Haku.

Post match Rikishi destroys Rock and lays him out with a bunch of Banzai Drops to the bad chest.

HHH is with the Radicals when Foley comes in and bans the Radicals from ringside in the main event. HHH doesn’t care so Foley makes it No DQ as well. HHH still doesn’t care. Methinks evil is afoot.

Women’s Title: Ivory vs. Lita

Ivory is in the RTC and is defending here. Lita goes straight at her and the fight is on fast. A quick hiptoss puts Ivory down as does an enziguri. Ivory comes back with a clothesline as Jerry panics over seeing Lita’s thong. Ivory hits a right hand and HOLY SWEET GOODNESS is Lita bleeding from it! I mean she is GUSHING. During the replay of it, Lita botches a rana and drives Ivory’s head into the mat. I’m not sure which of those hurt worse.

Steven Richards comes out so Lita throws Ivory to the floor and hits a big dive to take both of them out. A cross body gets two for Lita but the moonsault misses thanks to Steven. Ivory misses a belt shot and gets suplexed down. Lita takes her own top off but the moonsault hits knees. Apparently Ivory pulled the belt up and knocked Lita out with it to retain.

Rating: D. This was like any Raw match you would have ever seen. That’s the theme for this show so far: most of the matches are nothing special and could have been on most TV shows. Lita looked out of it in there, which says a lot for her as she got WAY better in a few years, as did Trish. Nothing to see here. Ivory would start feuding with Chyna very soon.

Coach has no updates on Rock.

Jericho jumps Kane and beats him up, setting up their rematch.

We recap Angle vs. Undertaker. Angle won EVERYTHING his rookie year and Taker is Taker. That’s about the extent of the feud.

Taker says this is his show and he’ll win the title.

WWF World Title: Undertaker vs. Kurt Angle

Angle is defending if that wasn’t clear. Before the match, Angle asks us for a moment of silence to reflect on our favorite Angle moment of the last year. We get some Florida can’t vote right jokes before Angle lists off his accomplishments in the last year. Taker cuts him off before Kurt gets to the Eurocontinental Title. This is the match where Taker is wearing the stupid looking light camo pants. If there’s one thing Taker should always wear, it’s dark colors.

Angle stalls on the floor to start and won’t get in the ring to fight. Taker goes out and gets a chair as Angle is in the ring. The champ hides behind the referee and Taker throws the chair over to Kurt to even the odds. As Taker is removing his coat, Angle blasts him with the chair and the bell finally rings. Taker pounds away in the corner to start but apparently punches himself out, allowing Undertaker to hammer away in the corner. A legdrop gets two for Taker as he pulls Angle up.

Old School (I know it’s called that because Taker shouts OLD SCHOOL before hitting it) hits but Taker would rather walk around than cover. Angle bails to the floor before the chokeslam can hit and things slow down again. This is Angle’s game at the point: hang in there long enough until he can find an opening and attack. Back in and Angle snaps off a suplex to take over and send Taker to the floor. Now Angle is telling Taker to get in the ring and fight. Nice touch.

Kurt dives off the apron at Taker but gets caught with ease (Kurt: “OH GOD NO!”) and rammed into the post. Taker does it again for fun and Angle is in trouble. Back in and Taker pounds away on the back but Angle gets in some shots to the leg to take over. The leg gets wrapped around the middle rope but Taker comes back with a Fujiwara Armbar. Here are Edge and Christian for a distraction a second before Angle taps out. Like every other schmuck face, Taker lets go of the hold when he has Angle dead to rights.

Angle picks the leg and takes Taker down again before hooking a leg lock. This goes on for awhile because the fact that Taker hasn’t tapped out in ten years has never taught a heel that his hold is no better than anyone elses. Taker escapes and bails to the floor to beat up the Canadians who I believe are ejected. Back in and there’s the chokeslam as Taker’s leg is fine. Edge and Christian have the referee again so the chokeslam only gets two.

A quick rollup with tights gets two for Kurt and a Russian legsweep gets the same for Taker. After a quick breather for Angle on the floor, he comes back in for a bad Figure Four on the challenger. Taker reverses and Angle gets the rope as is the custom for this sequence. A powerslam gets two for Taker but Angle goes right back to the leg. Kurt throws the Figure Four on around the post but Taker kicks him off.

Back in and Taker is right back up to his feet because he doesn’t feel like selling tonight. There’s only so much Angle can do when all the work he does on the leg doesn’t mean anything because Taker won’t just freaking limp. Angle hits Taker low and like an idiot tries a Tombstone. Taker counters the counter and drills Angle off the apron to the floor.

Kurt dives under the ring but Taker pulls him back out. Back in and Taker hits the Last Ride….but the referee won’t count the three. Why not? Because that’s not Kurt Angle. That’s ERIC Angle, Kurt’s nearly identical brother in identical tights. Kurt comes in and rolls Taker up with a handful of tights for the pin to retain. That’s the first time in seven years that the title hasn’t changed hands at this PPV.

Rating: C+. That’s actually a brilliant ending and it keeps both guys looking strong at the same time. They used the same thing with Lesnar vs. Angle in 2003 and it still worked there too. As for the match, most of the praise for it should go to Kurt and most of the blame should go to Taker. Angle could wrestle the match of his life, but if Undertaker won’t sell the knee injury, it doesn’t make a bit of difference. That can’t be blamed on Kurt though, and the match wasn’t terrible as it was. These two would have MUCH better matches down the line too.

After some replays, Kurt runs from the arena to a waiting car to bail.

The XFL has cheerleaders!

Team Dudley Boys vs. Team Edge and Christian

Dudley Boys, Hardy Boys vs. Edge and Christian, Bull Buchanan, Goodfather

Buchanan and Goodfather are the RTC and they’re actually tag champions here instead of one of the other three teams. Bubba and Bull start things off but the crowd is kind of dead so far. Bubba elbows him down for two and it’s off to D-Von. A big boot puts D-Von down and it’s off to Goodfather for another boot to the head but no cover. Off to Christian who pounds away at D-Von but walks into a reverse inverted DDT. This match isn’t exactly taking off.

Matt comes in to clean house as everything breaks down. The Hardys take off their shirts to reveal camo shirts that match the Dudleys. In the melee, the Edge-O-Matic (actually called that here) pins Matt. D-Von vs. Edge now with the former hitting a swinging neckbreaker for no cover. D-Von takes down both Canadians with a double clothesline but a Buchanan distraction lets Christian hit the Killswitch for the elimination to make it 4-2.

Bubba comes in and throws Christian around a bit before it’s off to Jeff. The fans want tables but they get Jeff sent to the floor and a tag to Buchanan. Back to Bubba who runs over the Bull a few times and beats up Goodfather a bit too. The Canadians get backdropped a few times before Edge accidentally spears Buchanan down, giving Bubba an easy pin. Christian accidentally splashes Edge giving Bubba another easy pin. It’s Jeff/Bubba vs. Christian/Goodfather.

They botch something but Goodfather hooks a Death Valley Driver for the pin on Bubba. Jeff gets to start with Christian but knocks Goodfather off the apron first. Christian misses a charge and hits post. The Swanton eliminates Christian and about twenty seconds later Val Venis (also RTC) clotheslines Goodfather by mistake, giving Jeff the winning pin.

Rating: C-. Much like the rest of the show, this wasn’t bad but it was nothing interesting for the most part. The tag division would get going again soon with TLC 2 which was somehow even better than the first edition. Having Jeff win here is fine but without Matt at this point, the fans didn’t really care. Granted that could be said about the rest of the show too. Again, another acceptable match but nothing I’ll remember in an hour.

Jeff gets beaten up but the Dudleys and Matt make the save and put the RTC through tables.

Austin is walking.

HHH tells the Radicals they know what to do.

We recap Austin vs. HHH. You know the story by this point: Rikishi had a boss and it was revealed to be HHH. HHH explained that he did it because while Austin was gone, HHH rose to the top of the company and even took over everything. Tonight is the big fight between the two of them and it’s No DQ.

Steve Austin vs. HHH

No DQ remember. I miss the My Time song that HHH used to use, but this is a remix of it that isn’t as good. After a little staredown, Austin goes right at HHH and beats him around the ring. The initial beatdown goes on for a few minutes with Austin focusing on the back due to some physical therapy HHH has been having or something like that. HHH comes back with a Facebuster but Austin immediately hits the Thesz Press to take him right back down.

They head to the floor with Austin still in full control. Austin picks up a big piece of metal but HHH knocks it away. They fight over to the production area and then to the back and then back to the arena in a few seconds. Back in the aisle, HHH counters a suplex into one of his own to put Austin in even more trouble. They fight back to ringside and Austin is thrown onto the announce table before fighting back, sending HHH into the steps.

After destroying the timekeeper’s area, Austin slams a monitor into HHH’s head to bust him open. The beer cooler is thrown around, resulting in a huge puddle on the floor. Austin has a seat on the steps and has a beer because he’s thirsty. HHH gets thrown into the ring but Austin stops to yell at JR, allowing the Game to get in some shots. A Stunner is countered into a neckbreaker and both guys are down.

HHH sends Austin into the post and bends him around said post, now working on the back which Austin had surgery on. A brief Austin comeback is stopped dead by another neckbreaker. HHH’s psychology is working well here. Austin comes back with that whip spinebuster but the middle finger elbow misses. They head back outside with both guys getting whipped into the barricade. HHH gets the advantage and loads up a Pedigree on the steps but gets backdropped through the announce table in a cool spot.

They head back inside and HHH bails to the corner. WHY WOULD YOU BACK INTO A CORNER AGAINST STEVE AUSTIN??? He deserves the mudhole stomping he gets. There’s the Stunner but Austin stops before covering. Instead Austin gets a chair and sets to Pillmanize the ankle. He thinks twice of that and wraps the chair around HHH’s neck instead. HHH rolls to the floor and they fight up the aisle again.

This time they head to the production area and then through a curtain and into the back, the same place they went for a few seconds earlier. HHH rams Austin into an anvil case but Austin sends him into a soda machine. Here are the Radicalz to attack Austin and give HHH a breather. After referees pull back the Radicalz, Austin chases HHH into the parking lot where HHH gets into a car. All of a sudden HHH is on a mic which is stupid but you have to go with it. Austin is nowhere to be seen. Oh wait there he is in a forklift, picking HHH and his car up. HHH screams for mercy and is dropped down, destroying the car to end the show.

Rating: B-. This was ok but it never got to the point they were reaching for I don’t think. The problem here is the same as it was in 1996 for Austin: everyone remembers the rematch far better because it’s probably better. That being said, this wasn’t nearly as good as the first Austin vs. Hart match but I digress. This wasn’t that great, but it was ok. It’s not PPV main event good, but for a big brawl it was acceptable.

Overall Rating: C-. This is a really hard one to grade. The problem with this show is that while nothing on it was bad, nothing on it was good either. Nothing on this show is something that I will ever want to watch again because nothing on it is anything above ok. The title I used for the other review of this is that I never remember this show. Well there’s a reason for that: it’s not very good. If you have to see every show in the series you won’t hate it, but there’s no reason to watch this other than for the sake of completeness.

Ratings Comparison

Steve Blackman/Crash Holly/Molly Holly vs. T&A/Trish Stratus

Original: D+

Redo: C-

The Radicalz vs. Team Chyna

Original: B-

Redo: C

Kane vs. Chris Jericho

Original: B-

Redo: C-

William Regal vs. Hardcore Holly

Original: D-

Redo: D-

The Rock vs. Rikishi

Original: B

Redo: C+

Ivory vs. Lita

Original: D+

Redo: D

Kurt Angle vs. Undertaker

Original: B-

Redo: C+

Team Dudley Boys vs. Team Edge and Christian

Original: C-

Redo: C-

Steve Austin vs. HHH

Original: D-

Redo: B-

Overall Rating:

Original: D+

Redo: C-

That main event is the big surprise as I HATED it the first time but I thought it was pretty good here. Odd indeed.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/07/24/survivor-series-2000-i-never-remember-this-show/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume I at Amazon for just $4 at:

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Survivor Series 1999
Date: November 14, 1999
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 18,735
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is a BIG show (pun intended) as a lot of stuff happens here. We’ve got a hall of famer debuting, a new world champion, and Austin getting run over by a car, putting him out of action for about a year. Everyone remembers it for the ending and the car stuff, so maybe there’s other good stuff in here too. Let’s get to it.

We open with a video about the world title match tonight which they promoted knowing that it wasn’t going to happen. Stay classy WWF.

Team Godfather/D’Lo Brown vs. Team Dudley Boys

Godfather, D’Lo Brown, Headbangers

Dudley Boys, Acolytes

The Dudleys are brand new, having been around maybe a month or two. This is the debut of Brown as Godfather’s partner in pimping. The Headbangers are dressed as pimps as well which is pretty funny. Bubba still has a bad stutter here which was his whole gimmick for a few months. Godfather makes fun of him to even further tick the Dudleys off. The Acolytes are freshly out of the Corporate Ministry which has broken up and are just big tough guys now.

Bubba vs. Mosh (in afro) start things off. Bubba steals said afro but things speed up and the Dudleys are in trouble. A HARD clothesline takes Mosh down and it’s off to D-Von. The Dudleys were awesome at this point and were like nothing anyone had seen in years. Even their look was totally different and it worked very well. Off to Thrasher who has an afro held on with a chinstrap.

Bradshaw comes in and pounds away on Thrasher a bit before pounding him upside the head. Thrasher misses a corner charge and the Clothesline eliminates him quickly. Off to Mosh vs. Farrooq with the latter missing a charge in the corner but not being affected by it that badly. Back to D-Von as Jerry talks about wanting ho’s for Christmas. Mosh hits the running crotch attack to D-Von’s back but it’s off to Bubba via a blind tag and the 3D puts out Mosh, making it 4-2.

Brown comes in with a forearm to the head of Bubba and a legdrop for two. For absolutely no apparent reason, Bradshaw blasts Brown with the chair for a DQ, and does the same to Bubba as well, knocking him out cold. D-Von and Farrooq both want the pin and get in a fight over it, resulting in a double countout for a double elimination despite neither of them being legal. That would be the Dudleys’ first real feud.

Back in the ring Bubba gets two on Brown as it’s apparently 2-1 now. A suplex gets two for Bubba and it’s time for the bouncing punches from Ray. Brown comes back with a Sky High for two and loads up a top rope rana, only to get caught in a middle rope sitout powerbomb for two which looked awesome. A double clothesline puts both guys down and it’s hot tag to Godfather. The Ho Train sets up the Low Down for the final elimination.

Rating: C. I remember reading someone say that Godfather was the perfect opening act because you were guaranteed a good pop whenever he was out there. The more I see of him in matches like this, the more I agree with that statement. The guy wasn’t that great or anything, but the fans loved him and he was always a fun character that you didn’t have to take too seriously. That kind of fun character is a great choice for an opener and this was a fine opener here too.

Remember that future hall of famer debuting tonight? We get a video telling us how awesome his name is and how awesome his life has been so far. His name: Kurt Angle.

Kurt Angle vs. Shawn Stasiak

Stasiak is most famous for being an idiot in the Alliance and being the son of the most forgotten world champion ever in Stan Stasiak. Never heard of him? I think that proves my point. Angle has the Patriot’s old music which would become far more famous with its new owner. Angle immediately hits a fireman’s carry takeover and the boring chants start about fifteen seconds in.

They head to the mat with Angle hooking a hammerlock. The fans chant for the Redwings because someone actually wrestling in a wrestling match is an evil idea to fans in 1999. Stasiak comes back with a clothesline and a vertical suplex for two. Off to a chinlock which Kurt escapes pretty quickly. Angle comes back with a clothesline and goes to get the mic. He demands not to be booed because he’s the best in the world.

Back in and Kurt hits something like a dropkick but is put right back into the chinlock. The hold is broken again and Angle comes back with a powerslam for two. Stasiak hits a lay out F5 but misses a top rope cross body. The Olympic Slam gets the pin and starts the hottest rookie year ever in wrestling.

Rating: D+. For a debut, this wasn’t great. However, this would be the start of one of one of the best careers of all time. Angle being serious wasn’t the right choice for him and it wasn’t until he became a total goof that took himself WAY too seriously while being stupid at the same time that he became the awesome Kurt that we know and love. It helped that he could go with anyone in the ring too.

We get a clip from earlier on Heat where HHH called Austin and Rock to the ring in an attempted ambush but the combined forces of Road Dogg and X-Pac didn’t stop two of the biggest stars ever. He wasn’t quite the Cerebral Assassin yet.

Team Val Venis vs. Team British Bulldog

Val Venis, Mark Henry, Gangrel, Steve Blackman

British Bulldog, Mean Street Posse

Even JR says that Val’s team has nothing in common at all. The Posse is a group of three guys from Greenwich, Connecticut who wear sweater vests and never won a match that wasn’t a hardcore match that they won by mistake. I have no idea why this match exists but my guess is “we have no idea what else to do with these fifteen minutes.” Bulldog is European Champion here which is likely a title Val wants.

The captains start things off and after some quick offense from both, it’s off to Pete Gas (the Posse was Rodney, Pete Gas and Joey Abs). Pete is scared to death of having to actually wrestle so it’s back to Bulldog. Once Venis is down it’s off to Pete who hits a slingshot to send Val chest first into the buckle. A belly to back suplex gets two for Pete as Jerry asks where JR would get nice clothes in Oklahoma. JR: “Arkansas.” Off to Blackman for the only thing he could do: martial arts. A bicycle kick gets the quick elimination for Blackman.

Off to Rodney who has even less luck against Blackman, immediately getting taken down. Gangrel comes in who gets caught in a crucifix for two before Gangrel realizes he’s fighting Rodney. He pounds on the Posse dude, shrugs off a cheap shot from Joey, and plants Rodney with the implant DDT (Edgecution) for the elimination. Joey, by far the best of the three Posse members, comes in and gets to face Mark Henry. Joey actually hits a hot shot on Henry but crotches himself on the middle rope. Mark does about what you would expect him to and splashes him for the pin.

So it’s 4-1 now and Bulldog comes in to fight Henry. Mark runs Bulldog over with ease and it’s off to Gangrel. Gangrel goes up top and is immediately crotched and superplexed down to make it 3-1. Blackman is in next but he misses a middle rope headbutt. He argues with the referee and gets caught in a fisherman’s suplex to make it Henry/Val vs. Bulldog. Val gets to start but it’s quickly a double team. Jerry: “Hey what’s this?” JR: “Well it looks like Mark Henry and Val Venis double teaming the Bulldog King.” Val gets sent to the floor but Henry splashes Bulldog, allowing Val to come in off the top with the Money Shot for the pin.

Rating: D-. This was as worthless as it was advertised. The Posse is one of those groups that is funny in retrospect but at the time they were wasting PPV time when there had to have been better options for this spot. Venis would have been a bigger deal a year ago so I’m not quite sure why he was in this spot either. Little trivia note: this is the shortest four on four Survivor Series match ever, breaking the record set about 20 minutes ago.

Michael Cole walks in on the Divas locker room and has to rub oil on Ivory’s stomach. Next.

Fabulous Moolah/Mae Young/Tori/Debra vs. Ivory/Luna Vachon/Terri Runnels/Jacqueline

Thank goodness this isn’t an elimination match. For some reason Moolah and Mae were wrestling in 99 with Moolah even winning the Women’s Title at one point. Jerry’s face when Debra comes out is hilarious. Ivory is Women’s Champion at this point. Moolah jumps the champion in the aisle to start but gets shoved down for her efforts. We officially start with Tori vs. Jackie but Luna comes in for some double teaming.

Keep in mind that Tori is a wrestler in name only, Mae and Moolah combined to be over 150 years old, and Terri and Debra are there as eye candy. After less than two minutes, a double clothesline from the old chicks gives Moolah the pin on Ivory. This may have been the worst idea this side of the birth of a hand. This is what Raw is for people.

Moolah and Ivory “brawl” post match.

X-Pac lists off everything wrong with Kane and says he’ll win tonight. Short and simple here.

X-Pac vs. Kane

Pac turned on Kane when they were partners, starting a feud that went on for MONTHS. X-Pac eventually stole Kane’s girlfriend Tori as well, turning her into a smoking hot valet instead of a smoking hot bad wrestler. Earlier today, Tori and Kane said they don’t take what X-Pac has done personally. Kane has the awesome inverted tights colors tonight. Pac jumps Kane during the entrance and we start fast.

Kane no sells all of the shots to his head. I’ve always wondered if the mask is supposed to absorb the offense from the other guy. Kane chokes away and uppercuts Pac down for no cover. Kane goes up but Pac dropkicks him in the head on the way up in a nice counter. We head to the floor for a bit where Pac sends him into the post to take over. Kane comes back with an uppercut but gets kicked in the head to take him back down.

More kicking slows Kane down but the Bronco Buster is countered by a hand around the throat. Tilt-a-whirl backbreaker puts Pac down and there’s the top rope clothesline. There’s the chokeslam but Road Dogg comes in to break up the pin. Kane stalks the Dogg to the floor but walks into the X-Factor for two. The tombstone is loaded up but HHH comes in with the world title shot to the head to draw the DQ.

Rating: C+. I liked this a lot more than most matches that X-Pac had going on at this time. The problem was that Pac would win all of his matches against monsters and it would get more and more unrealistic every time. Here though Kane took a lot of offense from Pac but it didn’t really hurt him, which is what made this much better. The feud would go on WAY too long though.

Post match Kane gets beaten down until Tori comes out. Pac kicks Tori in the face and Kane snaps, sending DX “scattering like quail” according to JR.

The Rock says nothing because HHH shows up and they brawl.

Big Show vs. Mideon/Viscera/Big Boss Man/Prince Albert

This was supposed to be Big Show and Kaientai and Blue Meanie but Show beat them up so he could do this himself. This is during Boss Man vs. Big Show, which is based around Boss Man making fun of Show for having his dad die (kayfabe). It led to a bad moment at a “funeral” where Boss Man stole the coffin and dragged Show along the ground on top of the coffin with a car. Show chokes Albert to the floor and chokeslams Mideon for the pin in less than 20 seconds. Albert is gone 10 seconds later to a chokeslam, as is Big Visc. Boss Man is like screw this and walks out. Show wins in less than 90 seconds.

Austin is in the back but HHH comes up to attack him too. HHH runs away with Austin chasing after him. Austin winds up in a parking garage and is run over by a car which speeds away. This was the way that Austin was written off TV for the better part of a year to have major neck surgery. He had needed it forever but it wasn’t until now when the company could afford to let him off for that long.

The question would eventually be who ran him over, and it would eventually be revealed as Rikishi in one of the biggest WHAT WERE THEY THINKING moments ever. Test, Stephanie, Vince and eventually HHH show up to look at Austin with most of them being concerned. JR goes to see him as well. Vince accuses HHH and DX but they deny any involvement.

Intercontinental Title: Chyna vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho has only been around a few months and is challenging here. Chyna has Miss Kitty here who isn’t even hiding that she’s T&A here, coming out in a bikini and that’s it. Oh and boots. It’s a brawl to start and Kitty is shoved down because Jericho is a jerk. They head to the floor with Jericho’s knees going into the steps, but Chyna misses a dive off said steps to give the Canadian control.

Back in and Jericho gets hot shotted onto the ropes and put in the Tree of Woe. Chyna tries a German but Jericho kicks her low….with no effect because Chyna isn’t a guy. A standing rana takes Jericho down but he pops back up and clotheslines her to the floor. The springboard dive takes Chyna out again as JR talks about not being into the match due to what happened to Austin. For once this is an acceptable statement.

Jericho throws Chyna over the announce table and pours water over her head because Jericho is a jerk. Back in and a missile dropkick gets two for Jericho as does a small package for Chyna. Chyna tries to make a comeback but Jericho bulldogs him down for two and a BIG face pop. A spinwheel kick puts Chyna down and Jericho is swaggering. A clothesline puts Chyna on the floor and Kitty gets kissed.

Chyna comes back with a spear and posts Jericho as the crowd noticeably gets quieter. Back in and Jericho hits a layout powerbomb for two and Jericho is getting frustrated. Lionsault misses and Chyna hits the springboard elbow and a DDT for two. With about two minutes left, Lawler mentions a stipulation that Jericho will get a sex change if he loses. Keep those priorities straight guys.

With the referee down, a belt shot to the head gets two for Chris but Chyna comes back with a Pedigree for two of her own. Jericho puts her in the Walls but Chyna finally makes the rope. The place boos the submission being broken. Jericho loads up a superplex but a Kitty distraction lets Chyna hit him low and a Pedigree (kind of) off the top gets the pin to retain the title.

Rating: B. This took a bit to get going but they hit a groove in that ending sequence. The most important thing here though was Jericho wrestled her like any other opponent rather than making a spectacle out of her being a woman. These two would stay at it for awhile until Chyna went nuts and eventually started wrestling women, which was the downfall of her career. Well that and being nuts and HHH breaking up with her, but that’s another story.

HHH comes in to see Shane, Stephanie and Test. He still denies having anything to do with it but wants to know if the match is now one on one. Shane says he’ll think of something. Note that Test is there with Shane.

Team Too Cool vs. Team Edge/Christian

Too Cool, The Hollys

Edge/Christian, Hardy Boys

This is just after the Hardys and the Canadians had the first tag team ladder match which would launch them into stardom soon after. Too Cool is still stupid here, as opposed to later on when they would be stupid and WAY over. The Hardys have Terri with them which wouldn’t last long. Edge and Scotty get things started as Jerry talks about Scotty’s pants. They chop it out in the corner before things speed up a bit and Edge spinwheel kicks him down.

Off to Crash vs. Matt with Matt getting two off a suplex. Crash gets crotched on the top and punched to the floor. Grandmaster sneaks up on Matt for a sunset bomb to the floor. We unleash the dives as everyone small enough to hits a big dive to take out everyone that was already on the floor with Jeff capping it off. Back in and Christian powerslams Crash for two. The Hollys hit a Hart Attack on Crash Christian for two of their own and Hardcore is in.

We’re promised an update on Austin at the end of this match because THIS MATCH of all things is more important than a guy being hit by a car. Off to Grandmaster whose bulldog is countered and he goes flying so far that he kicks the camera, giving us a cool visual. Off to Hardcore vs. Edge who starts spearing a lot of people. Grandmaster stops to dance and is immediately speared down. In the big melee, Hardcore rolls up Edge for the pin. Fifteen seconds later, Scotty hits a top rope DDT to eliminate Matt, making it 4-2.

Jeff and Scotty do a fast pinfall reversal sequence before Scotty hits the not yet popular Worm. A sitout powerbomb by Scotty with Grandmaster assisting gets two as does a middle rope missile dropkick from Sexay. Too Cool hits the second Hart Attack of the match which gets two on Jeff. Everything breaks down but the Hollys get in an argument. Terri gets on the apron for a distraction which lets Christian hit both of Too Cool low. Jeff hits a 450 on Scotty for the elimination.

So it’s Crash/Grandmaster/Hardcore Holly vs. Jeff and Christian. JR goes on a rant about Austin as Christian and Jeff try some Poetry in Motion, but Hardcore comes off the top with a missile dropkick in a SWEET looking counter. Grandmaster adds a guillotine legdrop for the elimination. Christian immediately hits a reverse DDT on Grandmaster to get us down to Christian vs. the Hollys.

JR continues to brood and want an update about Austin. Jerry needling him makes me chuckle as he’s awesome at being a jerk. Crash beats on Christian for a bit before it’s off to Hardcore again. Back to Crash who gets caught in the Unprettier/Killswitch for the pin. Christian tries a victory roll on Hardcore but Bob (Hardcore for you schmucks out there) falls on top for the final pin.

Rating: C+. The problem here was that the pairing that this should have been based around, Edge and Christian and the Hardys, were on the same team rather than getting to tear the house down against each other. The other two teams didn’t mean anything and the ending of this sucked. Once the Dudleys got involved with the brother teams, it was all gravy for almost two years.

Shane says that Vince is at the emergency room with Austin. Austin never lost consciousness but is still undergoing tests. Shane says there will be a triple threat tonight, but Austin won’t be in it. Test is there once again.

Tag Titles: New Age Outlaws vs. Mankind/Al Snow

The Outlaws are defending. Jerry accuses Billy of being the driver but Lawler doesn’t care at all. Mankind says Austin will get through this. Gunn and Mankind get things going with Billy getting two off a neckbreaker. We hit a sleeper like a minute in and then we look at the Head. JR and Jerry are arguing again as the guys in the ring go to th efloor, making them guys no longer in the ring.

Roadie accidentally hits Billy in the face and it’s off to Snow vs. Road Dogg. JR talks about Snow having his action figure pulled off the shelves at Wal-Mart because some stupid professor said that having a severed head included in a toy would send the wrong message to her kids about violence to women. This is going to be a quick sidebar.

First and foremost, it’s not a severed head. It’s a mannequin head and simply LOOKING AT THE FREAKING THING would tell you that. Second, if you’re concerned about what kind of impression a toy would give to your kids, either A, don’t buy it for them, or B, TELL THEM WHY YOU DON’T LIKE IT. Heaven forbid you have to tell your kid he can’t have something he wants because you deem it inappropriate. Third, and this is the part that I like best, Snow mentioned in a promo that clearly the stores care about their customers because they pulled the figure from the shelves, but the guns, bullets and knives are still on the shelves.

Anyway, now that the stupid people who can’t think before they run their mouths and have to decide how people should live their lives because apparently people aren’t smart enough to make decisions for themselves are out of the way, let’s get back to this dull match. Mankind pounds on Roadie in the corner and hits a running knee to the head. Snow pokes Road Dogg with a chair in the ribs which isn’t a DQ for some reason. Neither is the shot to Road Dogg’s back from Mankind.

Mankind hooks a reverse chinlock back in the ring followed by a lot of stomping in the corner from Al. Mankind gets two off a knee lift as things continue to go slowly. Snow hits his headbutts but Road Dogg fires off some lefts and a big right to take Snow down. Everything breaks down and the crowd is DEAD for this. They head to the floor with the Outlaws taking over.

Snow gets beaten on for awhile before clotheslining Roadie down and it’s not hot tag to Mankind. Mankind pounds away for a bit but gets caught by the Fameasser for two. Snow hits the Snow Plow on Road Dogg and here’s Socko. Both Outlaws get Clawed but they both hit Mankind low to escape. Snow hits Billy with Head to give Mankind a two count, followed quickly by the Outlaws hitting a spike piledriver on Mankind to retain.

Rating: D. This got better at the end but the twelve minutes before that were way too dull to be considered good at all. Mankind and Snow were there to fill in spots and while that’s ok, it doesn’t make for an interesting match. It didn’t help that the crowd was deader than Billy Gunn’s career for most of the match. Nothing to see here.

Since Vince is at the hospital, he won’t be refereeing the main event tonight.

We see Austin get run down again.

WWF World Title: The Rock vs. HHH vs. ???

The third man is…..shockingly not Test but rather the Big Show. I mentioned Test over and over again tonight because every sign on the planet pointed to him being the guy but they went with Show instead. That’s not to say this is a horrible idea or that it doesn’t make sense because there were no clues or anything beforehand, but it was certainly a surprising pick.

Rock and HHH attack Show to start but to no avail. Show shoulder blocks them down but Rock breaks up a chokeslam on the Game. HHH is defending if that’s not clear. Rock and HHH team up to clothesline Show to the floor but Rock is quickly pulled to the floor. All three guys wind up on the floor with HHH getting dropped on the barricade. Back in and Show misses a splash in the corner and gets caught in a Russian legsweep for no cover.

The People’s Elbow gets one on Show as HHH saves. This is one fall to a finish in case you were wondering. HHH chokes Rock in the corner but Show gets back up and side slams Rock for two. Show kicks HHH to the floor and knocks the Game up the aisle. The fans don’t seem to be sure what to think of Show in this spot but they’re not bored. Rock charges up the aisle to clothesline Show down before going after HHH again.

HHH gets knocked through a production table and Rock is in control. Scratch that theory as Show comes in and beats the tar out of HHH, only to have Rock hit Show with a fire extinguisher. Rock and HHH start heading back to the ring but HHH suplexes him in the aisle. Show is back because the guy can’t be kept down. Show drops HHH on the announce table but Rock drills Show in the head with the bell. Rock and HHH hit a double suplex on Show through the table for the WHOA spot of the match.

Rock and HHH head into the crowd to brawl as this has been a wild fight for the majority of the match so far. Back to the ring and the referee gets clotheslined down by Rock by mistake. The Rock Bottom and Pedigree are both countered, the latter being countered into a catapult into the buckle. There’s the Rock Bottom but there’s no referee. Shane runs out in a referee’s shirt to count two.

Another Rock Bottom hits but Show pulls Shane out of the ring. Rock goes after Show on the floor which goes about as well as you would expect. Actually scratch that as you might expect Rock to beat Show up. Show puts him on the table and goes back into the ring to knock HHH down before going back to beat on Rock some more. Rock gets thrown into the steps and HHH has the belt, only for Shane to take it away. HHH Pedigrees Shane and they’re all back inside again. Here’s DX to go after Big Show and Rock but here’s Vince as well. He knocks HHH out with the belt and a chokeslam makes Show champion.

Rating: C-. This didn’t work that well for me at all. Show has no connection to the feud at all which hurts things a bit, but at the end of the day there was no real flow to the match at all. Show winning is a good pick as it gives some closure to the week for him where his dad died and all that, but his title reign wouldn’t work all that well due to him mainly feuding with Big Boss Man. Still though, decent moment but a bad match.

Show celebrates to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This is a very back and forth show as the stuff that was interesting was interesting (although not necessarily good) and the stuff that was bad and dull was VERY bad and dull. This show is much more about setting things up for the future, which is ok, but it doesn’t really do much for those of us watching this. Not really recommended, but there are some far worse shows out there.

Ratings Comparison

Team Godfather/D’Lo Brown vs. Team Dudley Boys

Original: B-

Redo: C

Kurt Angle vs. Shawn Stasiak

Original: C+

Redo: D+

Team Val Venis vs. Team British Bulldog

Original: D+

Redo: D-

Team Mae Young vs. Team Ivory

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Kane vs. X-Pac

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Big Show vs. Team Big Boss Man

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Chyna vs. Chris Jericho

Original: B

Redo: B

Team Too Cool vs. Team Edge/Christian

Original: B

Redo: C+

New Age Outlaws vs. Al Snow/Mankind

Original: D+

Redo: D

Big Show vs. HHH vs. The Rock

Original: C+

Redo: C-

Overall Rating

Original: B

Redo: D+

I liked most of the matches better the first time and the overall rating was higher. Simple and easy, as usual.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/08/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-1999-a-lot-happens-here/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume I at Amazon for just $4 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for just $4 at:

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 17, 1997
Location: Bridgestone Arena, Nashville, Tennessee
Attendance: 5,876
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

It’s the night after In Your House: Final Four and we have a new world champion in the form of Bret Hart. However as a condition of him being champion, he has to defend the title tonight against Sycho Sid, who didn’t get his title shot against Shawn due to losing his smile. We’re coming up on Wrestlemania 13 in about five weeks so the buildup will begin tonight. Let’s get to it.

I’ve already done the next two weeks worth of shows and links to the reviews can be found at the bottom.

WWF World Title: Bret Hart vs. Sycho Sid

That’s quite the way to open up a show. Before the bell we’re told that Undertaker will meet the winner of this match at Wrestlemania 13. They stare each other down but here’s Steve Austin to attack Bret. Referees and backstage personnel break it up but Sid takes a shot to the knee somewhere in there, putting him down on the mat for some swearing. Austin is taken away and Sid gets back inside, but Patterson and Brisco (some REAL Americans) and some referees won’t let the match start like this. More on this later.

We look back at Shawn vacating the belt last Thursday, because of a “knee injury.” I’m sure that wouldn’t be a case of Idon’twanttojobthetitlesoI’mfakingthiswholething-itis.

We get some shots of Final Four last night which is still an awesome match.

Sid is freaking out in the back (moreso than usual) but says nothing is going to keep him from winning the title tonight.

Marc Mero vs. Savio Vega

Apparently Sable has been being much more aggressive lately to help Mero win some extra matches. Savio has the Nation with him, other than Farrooq who is in the balcony, looking down on the arena. Things start fast with Mero snapping off some armdrags and a dropkick sends Savio into the waiting arms of Crush. Mero dives over the top rope to take them both out but Vega takes over as they get back inside. A spinwheel kick in the corner has Mero in trouble and Vega chokes away on the ropes.

Marc gets a quick two off a crossbody and he pounds away with rights and lefts in the corner. Savio comes back with a snap suplex and sends Mero to the floor for a beating from the white rappers known as PG-13. Sable will have none of that and fires off some martial arts kicks to dispatch the white boys. Back inside and Mero hits a Samoan drop but the Nation chases Sable into the ring for the DQ.

Rating: C-. This was fun while it lasted but the ending hurt it a bit. Mero and Vega were both guys that could go when they were motivated and Mero was at his best around this time. This didn’t have time to go anywhere with less than five minutes, but at least they were trying.

Ahmed Johnson, in what appear to be orange pajamas, clears the ring with a 2×4.

Bret says he can’t worry about Austin and has to defend the title against Sid tonight. After that, he’ll be waiting on his next opponent. Lawler accuses Bret of overlooking Sid but Bret says he’s just looking out for #1.

Intercontinental Title: Leif Cassady vs. Rocky Maivia

Cassady, more famous as Al Snow, lost to Mero last night but is getting this shot tonight. Such is life in the WWF. Rocky is still billed from the South Pacific here which makes me picture him singing show tunes. He won the title from HHH last Thursday and beat him again in a rematch last night. Before the match starts, here’s Sunny in a barely there pink outfit to hit on Rocky.

They slug it out to start until Rocky clotheslines Cassady out to the floor. Back in and a cross body gets two for Rocky and we hit the armbar. We go split screen for an interview with HHH who says Maivia is just a lucky punk. These two really were joined at the hip for their entire careers. HHH blames Goldust for costing him the title last night and promises it’s not over with him. Cassady finally fights out of the armbar and elbows Rocky in the face to take over.

A quick rollup gets two for the champion but Leif pokes him in the eye to take over again. Cassady uses a nice forward leg trip to take Rocky down and put on another armbar. The fans think this is boring and I can’t say I blame them. Lawler compares Rocky to some other hotshot rookie that hasn’t proven he can do anything yet: Tiger Woods. Back up and Leif DDTs the arm and hooks yet another armbar. A top rope shot to the head gets two for Leif but Rocky slams him down when Cassady tries another. The high cross body sets up the shoulder breaker to retain Rocky’s title.

Rating: D. Rocky was still brand new at this point and it was really showing badly. Cassady is a very talented guy but there was nothing for him in something like this. He was part of the New Rockers at this point but it was clear that such a gimmick wasn’t going to take him anywhere. Who would think that these two would feud over being Mankind’s best friend someday?

We go to the announcers where Lawler rants about how stupid ECW is. He issues a challenge for them to show up next week if they’re tough enough. Lawler also throws in a jab at WCW, saying a friend of his took a Lawler sign to a WCW show in Memphis but they took it away from him.

We see a clip from the national anthem of all things.

Here are Goldust and Marlena to address HHH making a pass at Marlena. Goldust says he’s from Hollywood but this is reality. HHH has crossed a line and now this is personal. All the money in the world can’t buy Marlena and the only way that HHH is going to get closer to her is over his dead body.

Marlena clears up a few rumors about Goldust, saying that he is all man from the top of his head to the bottom of his feet, making him more of a man than HHH could ever be. Cue HHH with a cheap shot to Goldust, allowing him to pound Goldie down into the corner. There’s a Pedigree so Marlena slaps HHH in the face, drawing in the yet to be named Chyna to shake Marlena like a toy, earning her another trip to the pokey.

Headbangers vs. Hardy Boys

Yes it’s them and yes they’re still really new around here. On the other hand you have the Hardy Boys who are REALLY young, with Matt being 22 and Jeff only 19 here. Jeff scores with a running clothesline on Most before bringing in Matt to drop an ax handle on the arm. We go split screen to hear Farrooq saying he’ll finish Ahmed Johnson whenever he feels like it and lists off a bunch of expensive stuff that Johnson owns that he doesn’t want the fans to know about. Their match at Wrestlemania should just be a Chicago street fight.

The Headbangers take over and pound away on Matt including Most hitting a springboard cross body to the floor. Back in and it’s off to Thrasher who stomps Matt down into the corner before lifting him up into a suplex/side slam combo for no cover. Jeff gets the tag and almost immediately is clotheslined in half, setting up a powerbomb/guillotine legdrop combo for the pin.

Rating: D. This is much more of a historical anomaly than anything of note. The Hardys would become a regular low level tag team soon after this while the Headbangers would look like the bigger deal for a good while. The match was just a squash but it’s always fun to see these future stars in their early days.

WWF World Title: Sycho Sid vs. Bret Hart

Sid has a bad knee due to the Austin run-in earlier tonight. We cut to the back and Austin is attacking Bret Hart in the back, ramming him into a steel door and even Vince McMahon is helping break it up. No match again.

Gorilla Monsoon says the title match will happen tonight, period.

Flash Funk vs. Owen Hart

Flash Funk is 2 Cold Scorpio and Brodus Clay minus about 100lbs. Both guys flip out of wristlocks to start before Owen catches a kick, only to have Flash flip him over with the foot Owen caught. That’s a hard one to describe. They keep countering each other until Owen clotheslines him down but Funk is right back up. Both guys try dropkicks at the same time and we have a standoff.

We get to the interesting part of the match: Paul Heyman of ECW calls in to talk to Jerry Lawler. They try a test of strength as Heyman accepts the challenge on behalf of ECW. Lawler makes fun of some of the big ECW names such as Sabu, Sandman and Blue Meanie. Owen tries the Sharpshooter but Flash gets a sloppy rollup for two. Clarence Mason, the annoying attorney that managed Owen around this time, comes out to get Owen’s attention for some reason.

Owen goes to the floor so Flash can hit a big dive as Owen’s partner British Bulldog comes out to yell at Mason. We take a break and come back with Owen bridging up into a backslide for two. Hart gets another near fall off a German suplex and there’s a spinwheel kick to put Funk down again. We cut to a split screen with Steve Austin who says he went over the edge a long time ago.

Austin won the Rumble a long time ago and Shawn quit because he’s afraid to face someone like Austin. Owen suplexes Funk down but Flash fights back with some shots to the face and a backdrop. The high cross body gets two on Owen and a great looking moonsault gets the same. They run the ropes a bit and Bulldog gets in a cheap shot with the Slammy, allowing Owen to hit a spinwheel kick for the pin.

Rating: C. I don’t ever remember a match with so much stuff going on besides a match when Vince Russo wasn’t in charge. Think about it: we had something going on with Mason, interference, a phone call and an interview, all in a ten minute TV match. The match was solid from what I could see, but there was too much going on to keep track of what was going on.

Bart Gunn vs. Hunter Hearst Helmsley

Honky Tonk Man is on commentary as he’s still looking for a protege. After the bell we get a promo from HHH, saying he doesn’t know who Marlena is and he doesn’t care. HHH grabs the arm to start but Bart counters into a wristlock of his own to take over. Gunn scores with a dropkick and takes HHH down into an armbar. Back up and Helmsley misses a charge into the corner and we’re right back to the armbar. Helmsley gets up again and takes him down with a jumping knee to the face but here’s Goldust to chase HHH into the crowd for a countout.

Rating: D. Another boring match here which was only there for the ending. Goldust vs. HHH continues to be an interesting story but the matches never quite lived to the story. Bart Gunn was such a forgettable guy after splitting from Billy until the Brawl For All of all things gave him some notoriety.

We go to Dr. James Andrews to talk about Shawn’s knee. Apparently it’s badly twisted but surgery isn’t a requirement just yet.

WWF World Title: Bret Hart vs. Sycho Sid

Let’s try this one more time. Bret is defending in case that was lost in this whole mess tonight. Sid takes him into the corner and pounds away to start before whipping Bret hard into the corner to work on Bret’s bad back. Bret has a bad back? Apparently so for the sake of the match. Sid takes him down again with a hard clothesline before stomping down onto Bret’s chest a few times. All challenger so far.

Bret comes back with some punches to the ribs and a backbreaker, causing JR to say Sid isn’t 6’9 now. Unless a backbreaker involves cutting Sid’s foot off, I’ll have to disagree. Sid fires off more shots to the back and hits a backbreaker of his own (Lawler: “YAHOO!”) for two. Bret comes back by taking out the leg and drops some elbows onto the knee for good measure. The leg is wrapped around the post and there’s the Figure Four around the post (making its TV debut).

We take a break and come back with Bret bending the knee around the ropes and kicking away at the thigh. Sid fights out with some forearms to the chest and a legdrop for two. Sid (with the knee looking perfectly fine) goes to the middle rope for another legdrop but Bret blocks a chokeslam. Bret misses a charge into the ropes but is still able to backdrop Sid over the top. Austin tries to come in through the crowd but Sid punches him down. There’s the Sharpshooter but Austin sneaks in with a chair shot to break it up. The powerbomb (dude sell the leg!) is enough to give Sid the world title.

Rating: D+. I remember Benoit having the same problems with Sid two years later: there’s only so much Bret can do when Sid won’t sell the freaking knee injury. Sid had a knee injury coming into the match, had it worked on during the match, then got caught in the Sharpshooter but can hit the powerbomb fine? That doesn’t work and it’s not Hart’s fault at all.

Undertaker comes out to stare down Sid to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This is a very simple concept: the stuff involving Bret vs. Austin is awesome and the rest of the show is about as dull as you can get. That was WWF’s biggest problem for a long time: they couldn’t fill in a full show with interesting stuff and there was no reason to watch. Things would get better, but for now it was the main event scene or nothing.

Here’s the February 24 show if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/03/14/monday-night-raw-february-24-1997-ecw-invades-raw/

Here’s the March 3 show if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/02/05/2557/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume I at Amazon for just $4 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for just $4 at:

Monday Night Raw
Date: November 4, 2013
Location: Bon Secours Wellness Arena, Grenville, South Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re back to the red show after last week’s solid outing. There are a lot of things going on at the moment so it’s hard to guess what the focus is going to be tonight. Maybe they’ll even explain why or how Big Show has been doing everything he’s been doing. It would be nice for a change. Let’s get to it.

CM Punk vs. Luke Harper

Punk fires off some right hands to start but Harper easily runs him over with a hard forearm. Naturally Punk fires away as well as he can, backdropping Harper up and over the ropes to the floor. The suicide dive is broken up by a forearm to the head, stopping Punk cold again. Harper puts on the Gator Roll (rolling front facelock) and stops Punk’s comeback with a HARD shot to the face. Punk avoids a charge in the corner though, sending Harper to the floor. Now the suicide dive connects and we take a break.

Back with Harper ripping at Punk’s face before choking him with a boot for a bit. We get another Gator Roll into a chinlock but Punk fights up with some elbows. They slug it out a bit until Punk takes him down with a leg lariat. They blow the swinging neckbreaker spot so Punk hits the running knee in the corner but dives on Rowan instead of hitting the Macho Elbow. Punk loads up the springboard clothesline but dives into Harper’s boot. Luke loads up the discus lariat but Punk ducks underneath and rolls Harper up for the pin at 11:12.

Rating: C. This was fine. I have no problem with Punk beating the help because they’re just impressive minions for Wyatt himself. Harper got to look good out there and that’s what Punk is good for in this feud. The monsters will have their day soon enough and the blowoff match with Wyatt himself will be awesome.

Post match the beatdown is on but Bryan makes the save with a chair to a BIG reaction.

We get a clip from a sitdown interview with HHH where he bans Big Show from WWE for life.

You can pick Orton’s opponent tonight. It’s either Dolph Ziggler, Big E. Langston or The Miz.

Post break Punk says he’s not the only one who hates the Wyatts and he know what it’s like to be outnumbered.

Paul Heyman calls in to say he’s in Europe due to the injuries he suffered at Punk’s hands on top of the Cell. He has herniated discs in his back, bruised kidneys and a broken nose. Heyman starts crying and hangs up.

Earlier tonight Ryback messed with Hornswoggle and Santino until Khali intervened. Ryback called them freaks.

Ryback vs. Great Khali

This is a pretty far fall for Ryback. Khali shoves him down to start and there’s the loud chop in the corner. Ryback is picked up by the ear and chopped over and over in the corner. He comes back with a clothesline but Khali kicks him in the face. The big chop misses and Ryback hits the Meat Hook for the pin at 2:26. This was what it was.

Post match Ryback goes after Hornswoggle and Santino.

We get another clip of Big Show coming in when he was banned. I sense a theme here tonight.

Kofi Kingston vs. Alberto Del Rio

Alberto fires off kicks to the leg to start and easily stops a comeback attempt. Kofi’s jumping back elbow puts Del Rio down and a clothesline puts him on the floor. Kingston totally overshoots a flip dive and only grazes Del Rio with his arm. Back in and Del Rio blocks the pendulum kick in the corner and hits a nice double stomp to the chest. The enziguri gets two and we hit the chinlock.

That goes nowhere so Alberto gets two off a German suplex. Del Rio mocks Kofi’s hand slap and gets two off a snap suplex. The tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets the same and we’re off to the chinlock. Back up again and Del Rio’s corner enziguri misses, allowing Kofi to hit an ax handle from the middle rope for two. Kofi’s middle rope cross body gets two more and things speed up a bit, only to have Del Rio kick him in the ribs. A rollup gets two on Alberto but he counters into the armbreaker for the submission at 6:50.

Rating: C. Not bad again here but the ending was never in doubt. That’s what Kofi is best at: making people look good while losing almost all the time. He’s fine with not getting a major push up the card because his legacy is already firmly set. Del Rio is still the same guy he’s been for years though and that’s not good.

We get a video on Big Show’s reasons for a lawsuit, including individual charges.

The announcers tell us all the cool things we can do on the WWE App.

Randy Orton vs. ???

Lawler goes to announce the winner of the poll but Orton says hang on a second. The people don’t have a choice because they’re all failures. All they can do is pick his next victim, which is Langston in a major landslide. Non-title of course. Langston runs Orton over to start, sending him out to the floor. Back in and Langston puts on a front facelock before ramming some forearms into Orton’s face. The champ bails to the floor again and gets knocked HARD off the apron as we take a break.

Back with Orton being rammed into the steps but avoiding another charge from Langston, sending the big man out to the floor. Back in and Orton very slowly stomps away before putting on a chinlock. Langston fights up and rams Orton back first into the buckle before hitting a hard shoulder in the corner. A belly to belly puts Orton down and the Warrior Splash gets two. Orton’s backbreaker gets the same and there’s the Elevated DDT for no cover. The RKO is countered with a big clothesline but Orton escapes the Big Ending and the RKO gets the pin at 12:07.

Rating: C+. This worked though they booked themselves into a corner (again) because you don’t want to job Langston but you also can’t have Orton get pinned without setting up a title program. At least Langston looked good before jobbing, but he shouldn’t have been an option in the stupid poll either.

We see HHH banning Big Show again in case you didn’t get the idea already. We also get more clips of Big Show defying HHH’s regime.

Here’s Cena vs. Rock from Wrestlemania 29….in WWE 2K14.

Fandango/Summer Rae vs. Natalya/Tyson Kidd

Naturally we get to look at a clip from Total Divas before the match starts. The guys get us going with Fandango getting kicked in the ribs. Off to the girls with Summer slapping Natalya in the face and catching her in a body scissors. The announcers spend part of the match reading Tweets, including one from Natalya.

The hot tag brings in The guys with Kidd flying around and pulling Fandango to the floor. A HARD kick to the face from the apron drops Fandango again but a Summer distraction lets Fandango drop Kidd onto the apron. Back in and the guillotine legdrop is countered into the Sharpshooter on Fandango for the win at 3:43.

Rating: D+. Kidd looked good and Summer’s legs were as amazing as ever, but this was a four minute ad for Total Divas and nothing more. That’s been the theme tonight: what can we showcase with wrestling as a backdrop? We’ve gotten plugs for the reality show, the video game, the App, and any other WWE product they can think of other than focusing on the stories.

Damien Sandow looks at a clip of losing his cash-in last week. He’s been looking at himself and doesn’t see an intellectual savior but rather someone who is doing whatever he has to do to get what he wants. The Real Americans come in with Zeb praising Sandow before their six man tag tonight.

The announcers continue their Big Show debate. Seriously, each is getting to present evidence of whether he should be banned or not.

Here’s Cena for his match but beforehand he talks about how great WWE is for partnering with the Susan G. Kommen Foundation to help cure cancer. Some breast cancer survivors are here tonight.

John Cena/Goldust/Cody Rhodes vs. Real Americans/Damien Sandow

Rematch from the great main event on Smackdown. Colter and Del Rio are on commentary so the bickering can continue. Cena and Sandow get us going but it’s quickly off to Cody with a sunset flip out of the corner for two. Off to Goldust who cranks on Swagger’s arm before bringing in Cody for a double back elbow. Tyson Kidd is the #1 trending topic in the world, which Cole says, and I quote, “shows the power of Total Divas.”

Anyway, Cesaro comes in for a showdown with Cena as the announcers continue their mindless bickering. Cesaro shoves him into the corner for an uppercut but walks into a fisherman’s suplex for two. We hit a chinlock on Antonio before Goldust comes back in with a bulldog for two. Cena comes back in and chases Sandow to the floor as we take a break. Back with Cesaro hitting Swiss Death on Cena for two. Swagger comes in with the Vader Bomb for the same and it’s quickly back to Sandow.

Cena takes him down with a shoulder but Swagger breaks up the hot tag attempt. The announcers are now using one word Spanish insults on each other, making it sound like a bad sitcom. Swagger’s Patriot Lock doesn’t last long on Cena so it’s back to Antonio, only to have Cena score with a hurricanrana. Sandow breaks up the tag attempt again by going after the bad arm for two. Cena powers out of a top wristlock but can’t hit the AA. Sandow clotheslines him down but Cena counters another one into a powerbomb of all things. There’s the hot tag to Goldust as things speed up.

Cesaro gets caught by the top rope crossbody for two as everything breaks down. Everyone hits their finishers with Swagger and Cena being sent to the floor. There’s the Cesaro Swing to Goldust with JBL counting in Spanish for absolutely no apparent reason. Goldust falls to the floor so Cena sends Cesaro into Colter. Back inside and Goldust hits the ugliest springboard bulldog ever for two. Cody’s moonsault press puts Sandow down and Cena hits a high cross body on Cesaro. Goldust’s Final Cut (spinning suplex into a neckbreaker) pins Antonio at 15:20.

Rating: B-. The original on Smackdown was better but I really liked the action here. On the other hand, the commentary was absolutely horrendous. It wasn’t funny, it didn’t add ANYTHING to the match, it distracted me from what was going on in the ring, and ignored the match for the sake of stupid Spanish jokes. The commentary felt like a scene from a sitcom which was trying WAY too hard. Absolutely horrible waste of a solid match.

In case you didn’t get the idea earlier, here’s the EXACT SAME VIDEO on Big Show’s lawsuit.

Big Show, the man banned for life about five times now, is of course here.

HHH is furious but Stephanie comes in and says she let him in at the board of directors’ insistence. It’s not about HHH and Stephanie anymore but rather the business. Stephanie throws in a line about HHH never minding to take the McMahon money but not liking the responsibilities that come with it.

Curtis Axel vs. Dolph Ziggler

Non-title again. Axel takes him down to start and drops some elbows to the back of Dolph’s head and we hit the chinlock. The announcers continue the debate about Big Show’s charges because the fans watch wrestling to hear a legal debate, right? Ziggler fights back and pounds away in the corner but gets caught with a clothesline to the back of the head for two. Not that it matters as the Zig Zag connects for the pin on Axel at 4:47.

Rating: D+. The match wasn’t horrible but there’s no value in beating Axel anymore. I’m guessing the story is that Axel can’t win because he doesn’t have Heyman to guide him, but considering he hardly ever wins anyway, why is this supposed to be anything of note? Ziggler continues to float around doing nothing of note.

We recap the opening segment. Bryan says he was out for payback tonight.

Vickie doesn’t bring Big Show to HHH’s office as ordered but says Big Show wants to meet HHH in the ring.

3MB vs. Usos

Slater and McIntyre here with 3MB starting off fast with Slater hitting a springboard dropkick of all things. A double suplex puts Jimmy down and we hit a quick armbar on the Uso. Back to McIntyre who gets kicked in the face, allowing for the hot tag to Jey. The Superfly Splash is good for the pin on Drew at 2:20. Absolutely nothing here.

Los Matadores are in the back with Renee Young when Torito comes in. Apparently he’s horny and might gore Renee in the knees. She is WAY too talented for this.

Bella Twins/Eva Marie vs. Aksana/AJ Lee/Tamina Snuka

Tamina starts with a Samoan Drop to Nikki before it’s off to AJ for a guillotine choke. Nikki slams her down and brings in Brie to clean house. Tamina will have none of that though and runs over Brie and Eva, only to miss the Superfly Splash. Eva tags herself in and steals the pin on Tamina at 2:45. I really think WWE expects us to care about this.

Here are HHH and Stephanie to call out Big Show. The giant trades a few jabs with them before saying this isn’t about money, but rather just wanting his job back. Stephanie gives it back to him so Big Show starts a YES chant. Oh and he wants a huge bonus too. He doesn’t want money though, but rather to be the face of the WWE since he’s been here 18 years (It’s 14. He debuted 18 years ago). This brings out Shield and we take a break.

Post break Big Show tells HHH to tread lightly because of what he’s got hanging over HHH’s head (the lawsuit I believe?). Big Show demands a title shot at Survivor Series but HHH gets in his face and threatens to leave Big Show laying if he doesn’t drop it. Big Show leaves but threatens to sue WWE for ownership of the company. HHH gives him the title shot after Big Show makes him say it four times. On top of that, HHH makes a match right now.

Big Show vs. Shield/Randy Orton

Show is in a suit and Orton’s music hits at 11:04pm. The four of them swarm Big Show and there’s a spear about 15 seconds into the match. Shield beats him down and Orton tells them to pick him up. Show fights out of an attempted TripleBomb and chokeslams Reigns down. The other Shield guys are taken down by a double suplex, leaving us one on one.

This brings out Kane in a suit with some very short hair (the look really works for him actually) for a distraction, allowing Seth to hit a top rope knee to the head. The RKO connects but Orton wants a chair, drawing the DQ at 3:07. If you’re expecting a rating you haven’t been paying attention.

Post match Orton wants Big show put through the table. The TripleBomb (not a bad looking one either) through the table ends the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This is a REALLY tough one to grade. I actually liked most of the wrestling tonight which kept some stories going and came off more like an episode of Smackdown in a good way. On the other hand though, there’s everything else. To begin with, the constant plugging of everything on the planet is annoying, though understandable. WWE is a business after all and they need to shill stuff. I can live with that.

Then there’s the stuff that you might have noticed getting on my nerves tonight. Above all else, there’s the commentary. It has reached the point where it’s making good matches a misery to sit through because of how unbearable it is. Cole, JBL and Jerry aren’t funny and have the most unnaturally forced “chemistry” I’ve ever heard. They spend WAY too much time on unfunny jokes that most people aren’t going to get and even fewer people are going to care about at all. It needs to stop and stop soon. I understand the idea of trying to sound like people watching the show, but it’s not working in the slightest.

Finally there’s the story that dominated the show. This Big Show vs. HHH story is just not working and a lot of that is due to the overuse of the lawsuit idea in recent months. I can probably come up with four different instances of someone in WWE suing someone else in the last year and a half. That’s reaching the level of stable wars in TNA and that’s not good.

We had to sit through video package after video package about Big Show being suspended and then he just strolls into the arena, making the rest of the show a waste of our time. That’s not going to get people to watch and it’s hard to sit through. Good wrestling, bad everything else tonight.

Results

CM Punk b. Luke Harper – Rollup

Ryback b. Great Khali – Meat Hook

Alberto Del Rio b. Kofi Kingston – Cross armbreaker

Randy Orton b. Big E. Langston – RKO

Tyson Kidd/Natalya b. Summer Rae/Fandango – Sharpshooter to Fandango

John Cena/Goldust/Cody Rhodes b. Real Americans/Damien Sandow – Final Cut to Cesaro

Usos b. 3MB – Superfly Splash to McIntyre

Bella Twins/Eva Marie b. Tamina Snuka/AJ Lee/Aksana – Rollup to Snuka

Big Show b. Randy Orton/Shield via DQ when Orton and Shield used chairs

 

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Taboo Tuesday 2005
Date: November 1, 2005
Location: iPayOne Center, San Diego, California
Attendance: 6,000
Commentators: Joey Styles, Jerry Lawler

We’re back for the final one of these Tuesday shows before we switch to the traditional Sunday. This is again a Raw show and is based around Cena vs. Angle vs. a person the fans will pick. The other good match on here is HHH vs. Flair for the IC Title where you pick the stips. Flair begged for it to be a cage match so what do you think was picked? Other than that there’s an interesting deal with Austin that we’ll get to later on. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about having power, which involves being a military general for some reason.

Edge and Masters come out before we had a chance to even have Jerry and Joey say who they are. Todd Grisham is the host just like last year. This is Raw vs. Smackdown and we get to pick the two Smackdown guys to be in the match. The choices are Christian (his contract was up and he showed up here and I think tomorrow on Raw as a courtesy before heading to TNA for about four years), Matt Hardy, Hardcore Holly, JBL and Rey Mysterio with Matt and Rey winning by wide margins.

Matt Hardy/Rey Mysterio vs. Chris Masters/Edge

This was during the Hardy vs. Edge war. Masters was a monster at this point but didn’t mean much. The keyboard on the stage is all random and isn’t anywhere near what a traditional one looks like. Rey as the hometown boy gets a huge pop. Something I hadn’t realized: Eddie died 12 days after this. Edge says he has nothing to prove here so he’s not wrestling.

Matt Hardy/Rey Mysterio vs. Chris Masters/Snitsky

Yeah this isn’t a bait and switch in the slightest. We have two referees in there too which is kind of odd. Rey gets a small package and both go for counts, resulting in an argument. It’s weird hearing commentators say last night and refer to Raw. Rey goes for that body scissors into the bulldog and they botch it. My guess would be Masters botched it but whatever.

Matt comes in to a bigger pop than Rey got which is really weird. Side Effect is called a Uranage by Joey. Matt kind of botches a top rope something and it turns into a DDT for two. This is sloppy beyond reason. Maybe it’s the Tuesday thing but with two of them being Smackdown guys this should be normal for them. I’m not sure if I get the idea of bringing in Smackdown but whatever.

Joey is only here for one night since Coach is wrestling and JR was fired due to some overly complicated storyline involving the McMahons that we’ll get to later. Now the fans want Christian. Dang they’re greedy in San Diego. Matt is working the majority here to set up the hot tag to Rey. There it is and Rey cleans house. Well most of it at least since he can’t reach the top shelves.

Masterlock goes onto Rey though and Rey is in trouble. He kicks off the corner and lands on Masters for a cover but the referees mess things up again. A pair of top rope dives take out the heels and a springboard sunset flip gets two. Masters does a spinning rack into a neckbreaker which is a move I’ve always kind of liked. 619 into the Twist of Fate into a springboard splash ends this.

Rating: C+. Not a great match but for an opener this worked pretty well. Rey and Matt are both popular guys and got the crowd going rather well. Edge not being in there is kind of crap and the double referee thing was overkill for sure. They really messed up with Matt though as he could have been a big deal but they just botched it. Not bad though.

Foley is in the back with Maria who is in his Mankind mask and he’s got her lingerie for later. Nudity allegedly ensues.

Ah apparently Edge was legit injured. If that happened on Raw or something that’s fine then.

Time to pick Eugene’s Legend partner. The choices are Kamala, Snuka and Duggan with the guy that dove off a cage winning barely over Duggan. I’m not bothering with the percentages this time.

Rob Conway/Tyson Tomko vs. Eugene/Jimmy Snuka

Conway was a cocky guy with a legend hating gimmick which was dumb since Orton had just gotten done doing that. So is the mentally slow guy supposed to carry this team? Snuka looks out of shape here, nearly three and a half years before he was at Mania last year. Eugene and Tomko start us off and we’re already into the comedy portion as Eugene does the one hand up one hand down routine for the Test of Strength.

Conway wears his sunglasses during the match. Ok then. Eugene and Conway were more or less the most dominant tag team in the history of OVW, winning like 9 tag titles. Jimmy is going to be on the outside for the most part here due to a high level of old. There’s the hot tag to him anyway and Snuka just looks confused. Then again he looked that way in his prime.

The faces play ping pong with Conway using headbutts. Eugene hits a Rock Bottom and the splash ends it after about 15 seconds of setting up. Tomko gets back from writing his novel or whatever he spent the last few minutes doing and Kamala and Duggan make the save. At least they kept it short.

Rating: D. This was a bad match but what did you expect? We knew Snuka would win with the splash but seriously, was Tomko the best they had available as a partner? He had nothing to do with this feud or angle or anything like that. This was a glorified handicap match that just wasn’t interesting at all. Like I said though, at least it was short.

Ad for the Taker Tombstone DVD, which I’ve never seen.

We determine which persona Foley will fight Carlito in. Mankind more or less dominates it, setting up this.

Carlito vs. Mankind

As Carlito makes his debut they plug Survivor Series in Detroit and they spell Joe Louis Arena as Joe Lewis instead. I know this place was bad back in this era but come on now. Foley had been a guest on Carlito’s Cabana and said Carlito wasn’t cool. This did result in us getting one of Foley’s awesome morphing promos where he starts as Love then shirts to Jack and then Mankind, which shows just how versatile Foley is.

Carlito is just such a waste of talent. He could have been awesome but was so painfully lazy in the ring that there was no choice but to get rid of him. It’s all Foley to start and we go to the floor. Foley even throws in a baseball slide of all things. Carlito takes over by slamming Mankind’s head into a chair and we’re clearly in a formula here which is ok.

Double clothesline and both guys go down. Mankind starts Social Outcasting Up and a Cactus Clothesline takes us to the floor where we get an elbow on top of that. Double Arm DDT and Socko end this. It never ceases to amaze me how Foley can use like 5 moves and have such a successful career.

Rating: D+. Pretty bad match here and I’m not sure if I get the idea of having Carlito job to a guy with Foley’s stature. I know Foley has had matches that mean more than Carlito’s entire career but I’m not sure I get the logic behind him going over. Although to be fair, the idea of Carlito pinning Mick’s corpse just sounds wrong. Maybe this was the right idea after all.

Vince arrives and wants to hear about the Raw vs. Smackdown match of all things. He jumps down Eric’s throat for losing the match and Eric blames Teddy Long who is relatively new as GM of Smackdown. Vice yells at him and tells him to get it together.

We pick the third guy in the main event tonight: Kane, Big Show or Shawn. Gee I wonder who is going to win this. Kane gets a surprising 38% but it pales in comparison to Shawn’s 46. Kane and Show get a lovely parting gift.

Raw Tag Titles: Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch vs. Big Show/Kane

Few quick notes here. Joey says they’re two tough Texans but are billed from Nashville. Also Lillian says they weigh 501. Not 501 pounds but just 501, as in she said five oh one. Not even five hundred and one. Just weird. Show has a beard here and Lillian slips up on HIS intro too. What is going on here? Murdoch starts with Kane and isn’t happy about it.

This is one sided so far and now I’d expect that to change just as I say it. Murdoch kicks Show a bit and that doesn’t work in the slightest. Can Show do anything other than chop? Kane goes for a big boot and somehow manages to hit Cade in the lower back. How are there so many mistakes in one single show? Murdoch shoves Kane to the floor off the top to finally give the champions an advantage.

Kane gets beaten down for awhile and then sits up just because he can. The champions just can’t threaten Show and Kane in the slightest. Show comes in to a lukewarm tag and after some domination, a double chokeslam to Cade ends this. Show gets interviewed afterwards but has to stop for a double chokeslam on Murdoch for fun.

Rating: D+. The lack of drama really hurt this as it was painfully obvious that the titles were changing. Like Kane and Show had any chance of losing here. I mean really did you expect otherwise? This was one of the staples of the show but it became pretty clear nothing would happen from it. Their reign lasted like 5 months and the next reign after theirs would end at the next one in this series.

Vader and Goldust are here. I guess I better explain since I’m going to have to in a bit anyway. So Ross had been fired for laughing at Austin stunning the McMahons at Raw Homecoming and Linda of all people fired him. Austin was going to have a match for Ross’ job against Coach (who brought in Vader and Goldust for no apparent reason to help him) and was booked to lose.

He left, not to be seen again for about five months. Batista was brought in and the Ross aspect was dropped. The firing (Ross actually was having health problems) was why Joey was here also. He would call Raw until May when he did a worked shoot where he bashed WWE, resulting in him taking over as commentator for the revived ECW the following June.

The Fantasy Battle Royal for the Divas will be in lingerie of course.

We recap the Austin being replaced by Batista thing where Austin leaving was blamed on an “accident”.

The choices are street fight, arm wrestling or verbal debate. Moving on.

Batista vs. Jonathan Coachman

Vader and Goldust are just with Coach here and aren’t actual participants. Vader is embarrassingly fat here. The street fight breaks 90% which is relatively low all things considered. Batista is Smackdown Champion here as if we needed any more assurance of the destruction here. The lackeys are in the ring too but it’s not like it really matters. This is back when Batista is still one of the hottest things in the world and just a freaking machine.

Goldust gets a kendo stick and beats up Big Dave with it and coach grabs a belt from the timekeeper. Batista gets loose after being whipped and it’s whipping time all over again as Batista of course destroys everything in sight, even managing what was supposed to be a spinebuster on Vader but he’s just too fat. Batista gets him up the second time though and it’s decent considering the size of that fat. Batista Bomb kills Coach to end it.

Rating: N/A. Given one week to set this up, this was about as good as it was going to get. Batista is no Austin, but then again who is? At least they got a big star to fill in which is as nice as they could have done. This was all on Austin and WWE did what they could for once, which is a very rare sight for them.

Shawn, who has won the main event vote twice in a row now, says he’s going to win. Angle, looking like he’s physically ill, comes up and says they don’t like each other but they agree they don’t like Cena. An alliance is offered and Shawn says he’ll think about it.

Raw Women’s Title: Battle Royal

Trish Stratus, Ashley Massaro, Mickie James, Maria, Candice Michelle, Victoria

They’re in lingerie and Trish comes in as champion. Mickie is brand new here and crazy/lesbian to an extent. The fact that they’re usually in lingerie makes this kind of stupid but Trish in underwear never gets old. What kind of battle royal has six people in it? Mickie saves Trish and there’s of course no flow or structure to speak of here. Joey says you have to go over the top and Maria of course goes through the ropes to get rid of her.

Candice does her stupid Go Daddy dance on the apron and Ashley drills her and we’re down to four. Victoria puts Ashley out and this needs to end. And then after Mickie saves Trish a few times she and Victoria go out at the same time. This was awful. Mickie steals the interview time by saying how great Trish is. She was really good at this psycho girl.

Rating: N/A. This was about the girls being hot and that pretty much worked but considering the clothes they usually wear, this is nothing special.

For buying Taboo Tuesday you get a month free of 24/7 online. Not bad.

We recap HHH vs. Flair. HHH had been gone after losing a Cell match vs. Batista. He came back for a tag with Flair and of course turned on him afterwards. The explanation was that HHH gave Flair another chance at greatness but it was only by association. That makes sense and is a solid reason for a match. Simple stories sometimes are the best choices and this is a prime example of that.

Flair begged to make this a cage match and of course that’s what it is. The other options are one fall to a finish, as in a regular match, submission or cage. Cage of course breaks 80% to win.

Intercontinental Title: Ric Flair vs. HHH

Flair is champion here and while HHH said it was mediocrity for Flair, he doesn’t mind trying to win the title. Some have called this Flair’s last great match, although I think that was before the Shawn match at Mania. It’s pin/submission/escape here. HHH sits on top of the cage to do the water spit. For some reason I can’t take this serious as a blood feud considering Flair is all in pink. Ah good the tights are black and the boots are red. I can live with that.

Flair drops a very audible F Bomb and says give me your best freaking shot. Chops vs. punches begin here and HHH is in trouble, although it’s a minute in so far. Flair can really only throw chops here but then again it’s relatively early in it. He’s the first one to go into the cage and he’s of course busted badly. I love when he’s on the mat and screaming for mercy. It’s hilarious for some reason.

HHH rakes his face across the steel and is in complete control here. With Flair leaning against the cage, HHH hits a running splash. Yes that’s correct and it looked painful. Flair is bleeding a gusher and the fans begin to cheer for him. Both guys get crotched as Flair stops HHH from leaving. HHH gets a chain from somewhere which I think he had stashed on the cage.

It’s been about 80/20 HHH in control thus far. Flair can curse with the best of them. HHH gets the Figure Four on Flair as this is probably going to go for a long time. The third F Bomb in about twelve minutes is uttered and Flair gets to the ropes for the break. Yep in a cage match. I can’t stand rules like that at times. HHH gets busted open and it wakes Flair up somehow.

This is a bloodbath for the most part and some idiot has to chant boring despite this being a good match so far. Flair goes after the bad knee of HHH that was torn up in 2001. Flair gets the Figure Four and HHH is in trouble. There is blood EVERYWHERE. Flair looks horrible as the hold is broken. He hits the top rope shot, which is a jumping chop/punch.

Flair almost gets out but is stopped, not before he gets a chair though. He did this last year and I never got why. Flair grabs HHH by the balls to stop a beatdown though. That’s always an odd move. Some chair shots to the head of HHH and Flair actually wins this clean. He looks mostly dead but he won it.

Rating: B. I can’t go higher than that for some reason but this was a great match. It was old school Flair here as he just went insane to beat HHH here which isn’t something you see out of him in this era. This was a very old school style match where it was more about violence than escape or anything like that.

The idea was for Flair to get one last hurrah, but it kind of makes HHH look pathetic that he can’t beat Flair at this age. Still though, by far the best match of the night. HHH gets cheered as he’s carried out.

Ad for the Mania Anthology, which really was awesome to have finally.

Raw World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Shawn Michaels vs. John Cena

This is really about Shawn vs. Angle but they needed another guy in there I guess since Vince needs his triple threat. This is also about starting up Cena vs. Angle since Jericho retired and that was the big feud for Cena at the time. This is Cena’s first title reign, having won it at Mania from JBL in what should have been a longer match.

This is also a very different Cena as he’s still kind of a glorified midcarder without the luster about him. Batista is by far the bigger star at this point and Cena could be the weakest guy in this match. He might not even have the STFU yet.

It’s your usual match to start us off as everyone controls for a little bit. The whole team up thing mentioned earlier is thrown out within ten seconds. Kurt starts throwing people all over the place and gets Shawn’s ankle. Finishers are countered early on and Cena gets some near falls. They double team him and the fans get hyped over it for the first time in a good while.

The destruction of Cena begins and he goes through the announce table. Angle and Shawn start hammering on each other as we’re REALLY into the formula part here. Shawn vs. Angle is always worth seeing though so I can’t complain at all here. They do their usual great match for about five minutes while Cena regains life on the floor. Running Angle Slam from the top gets two.

Cena pops back up and cleans house with those shoulder blocks. I love moves like those where you just throw yourself into the other person. How can you block something like that? Shawn takes over now and I’d expect Kurt to do the same very soon. Angle pops a belly to belly over the top in a great looking spot. Cena goes insane as he’s known to do but winds up in the ankle lock.

Two kicks don’t break the hold and the leg lace is on. Shawn of course takes the long way to break it up, dropping an elbow so that Cena is in the hold for like a minute straight. Kurt gets kicked and then Cena pops up for the FU on Shawn to retain. Good to see that ankle heel in less than 30 seconds.

Rating: B-. If there as a B- – it would get that. When a match’s longest segment is Shawn vs. Angle it’s pretty clearly going to be good. This definitely wasn’t bad but there was never any real drama to it as Shawn and Angle were clearly going to cancel each other out. This got the ball rolling on Angle vs. Cena which was the title match at Survivor Series. Good match, but the selling by Cena hurt the ending a lot in my eyes.

Overall Rating: D. This show was pretty bad. The cage match is good and if you’re a fan of old school style or Flair it’s worth checking out, but it’s an acquired taste. The main event is pretty good but it’s nothing we haven’t see a dozen other times. Overall, this show comes off as unnecessary.

Other than Flair winning the match which didn’t end the feud and the new tag champions, nothing of note comes out of this and the title switch could have been at any show. This just didn’t need to happen and wasn’t that good. It picked up a bit with the shift to Sundays but other than that it just never was worth the time. Take a pass.

 

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This isn’t something that has me on my toes.Coming out of Raw, it appears that the title feud going forward will be Big Show vs. Randy Orton, with the two fighting at least at Survivor Series.  The idea is supposed to be that Big Show has lost everything, including his home and has nothing left to lose.  However, now he’s right back where he was, challenging for the world title and likely in the main event of a major PPV.  Let’s pause here for a minute and jump back to the 80s, in particular 1984 in Georgia Championship Wrestling.

 

Around this time, the top feud over the NWA TV Title was between Jake Roberts and Ron Garvin.  Roberts defeated Garvin for the title and Garvin of course wanted a rematch.  For weeks and weeks he begged Roberts for the title shot but Roberts kept saying no.  Finally Roberts agreed if Garvin could come up with $10,000.  Garvin didn’t have that kind of money so he mortgaged his home and came up with the money.  Ronnie won the title back in an emotional moment and was able to fix his financial situation.

 

Now compare this to the Big Show story.  We were told that Big Show lost everything, told that HHH bought Big Show’s house and told that Big Show was suspended.  Now Big Show is back, still with music, still coming down the entrance, still with new merchandise, and apparently still fighting at house shows and presumably at Survivor Series.  Where’s the heartache?  Where’s the reason for us to care about him?

 

The key difference between Big Show and Garvin: we saw Garvin being hurt by the loss and we’ve been told about Big Show being hurt.  Secondly, Big Show lost his house what, a month ago?  He’s been back with nothing to lose and hasn’t once even seemed sad.  There’s no reason to feel his pain and therefore, the story isn’t quite working.  It’s just Big Show saying he’s had problems but having it not change anything at all.  That doesn’t work.

This is one of the first non-Big Four shows I ever did so please bare with me on how bad it is.

 

Bad Blood 2004
Date: June 13, 2004
Location: Nationwide Arena, Columbus, Ohio
Attendance: 9,000
Commentators; Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is really just to get this show from any year off my list of shows. We have two main events here, one of which is the World Title match as Benoit defends against Kane. Naturally though we can’t have the guy with amazing talent or the belt headlining a show, so we also have HHH and Shawn in a feud that just wouldn’t die in the Cell.

This was another show where HHH was highly looked down upon for his ego, as Benoit, the guy that was more over and better than HHH was in the ring, was pushed to the side so HHH and Shawn can have a FORTY FIVE MINUTE Cell match. Yes, I’m going to have to watch these two go at it for 45 minutes in there. Just take me now. Let’s get to it.

And hey what a shock: the main video talks about Shawn and HHH far more than the world champion. So Shawn and HHH are going to have to do a lot to end this feud. Oh and that Benoit guy is doing something too. It should be noted that ONLY these two matches are even talked about in the opening video.

Raw Tag Titles: La Resistance vs. Edge/Chris Benoit

Dupree is now replaced by Rob Conway. King is wearing a purple jacket. You can tell it’s a slow night as Benoit is pulling a double shift tonight. Good night Lillian looks amazing in blue. So we have two Canadians vs. a team from French Canada. Why must we always have Canadian on Canadian violence? Edge and Sylvan start us off.

The talent and championship differences amaze me here. Benoit gets a great pop coming in. This is the rematch from when Edge and Benoit lost the titles to the French guys after beating Evolution for them. DANG Benoit could chop like there was no tomorrow. Naturally the heels take over to prevent the fans from thinking we were doing anything other than the standard tag team formula. We talk about John Glenn for no apparent reason. Oh he’s from Columbus. That makes sense at least.

They’re keeping Benoit out which makes sense as you have to let him save up strength. Edge gets an AWESOME counter to a double suplex as he lands on his feet and hits a double neckbreaker. That was freaking sweet. Benoit gets the Sharpshooter but it’s broken up at the last minute. Benoit now gets the Crossface on Grenier and holds it for about 40 seconds without the tap.

Great way to plug the move there guys. Kane comes out for the DQ though which at least makes sense here. He chokeslams Benoit and I want to break that bell guy. Kane vs. Benoit sounds really good actually. Into the stairs goes the champion as Kane leaves.

Rating: C+. I like Benoit and Edge so this worked fine for me. It also tied into the main match later on so there’s some continuity there which is always a good thing. This was a nice little refresher to set up for later in the show, but it also shows that the rosters can’t manage to do a whole show by themselves. Also, there was no way the titles were changing here so there was no drama. Still though, not bad at all.

We see Coachman getting ready in the back. He has Eugene tonight in what I’m sure will be a classic. He’s wearing a Michigan shirt and hat to draw cheap heat which is fine. Eugene hears Bischoff run him down and Bischoff plays the nice guy to make the save. Dinsmore, the guy that plays Eugene, really is talented and it’s a shame he has to put up with this. The idiocy of this gimmick is simple: a slow guy is wrestling. That just sums up the whole reason why this failed.

Chris Jericho vs. Tomko

Short version: Jericho is feuding with Christian because of Trish, Tomko works for Christian, Christian is hurt so we have Tomko left to fight for Christian. Jericho of course has bad ribs as is the requirement for a popular face. Trish is just ridiculously hot as a heel. This is more or less Jericho carrying things as he has to since he’s the only one in there with that pesky little thing called talent.

Tomko gets a nice gutbuster on Jericho to take over. There’s some black thing in the ring that’s driving me crazy. Tomko takes over again with a Boss Man Slam. That move is so simple and it works so well. I love moves like that. He really needs to grow his hair back. He just looks bad with it all short. After some Trish interference, we get the running enziguri and gets the pin. Well that was uneventful.

Rating: D+. This should have been on Raw but because of the single brand shows we get this instead which isn’t worth paying for. Jericho had the longest feud in history with Christian. Ok so it’s not even close but it felt like it. This was fine but just felt like a Raw match, which is never a good thing.

We recap Orton vs. Shelton which more or less was Shelton pinned Orton twice then Orton had Batista half kill him. Orton says that he’s a legend and he’s had the longest title reign in seven years. That’s really impressive actually. He walks into the arena and screams about how great he is to the crowd, all in one promo.

This is really awesome actually as Orton was just amazing in this role. WHAT THE HECK HAPPENED TO HIM??? He went from being this brash young rookie that knew how awesome he was and said he was better than everyone else and he was great at it. Why change that? Oh yeah he was getting over on Raw and we can’t have that, so sayeth HHH’s #1 commandment.

This was just when Shelton was gaining credibility. He has half the mic skills he has now and that’s saying a lot. The match is supposed to happen later but we’re doing it right now.

Intercontinental Title: Shelton Benjamin vs. Randy Orton

I like the booking here. It’s different and makes you feel like anything can happen. That’s painfully missing from modern wrestling and this was just five and a half years ago. There is a freaking gorgeous blonde in the front row. I need to go to Columbus more often. This is another thing the modern company is missing: well established midcard guys.

I get that Kofi and Miz are there, but they just don’t feel up to what these guys are. After a missed Stinger Splash from Shelton, here’s Flair who looks OLD all of a sudden. Orton hits the chinlock. I wonder if he gets paid per usage of that. He follows it up with a nice move as he sets for a shoulder breaker but shifts his arms forward to get a great falling neckbreaker instead. That looked great and it was one of the moves I used on Smackdown vs. Raw back in the day.

And we’re back in the chinlock again. Orton is a perfect example of the WWE anymore: flashes of brilliance but then the same old stuff all over again. Shelton bases a lot of his in ring work on that of Sting, meaning that he’s awesome. He makes his comeback and there’s a key to it: I’m buying it. They’ve managed to get me into this match and that’s all I can ask for. That Dragon Whip never gets old. The Splash hits this time and there’s the T-Bone but naturally Flair makes the save.

He really was so annoying back then and it got on a lot of people’s nerves including me as it was always the same thing. Shelton brings him in and beats him up as we get a thin reference to Sting. Shelton, ever the candidate for a Rhodes Scholarship, puts Flair in the figure four.

Just to show off though, while still having the hold on Flair, he hooks a small package on Orton for two. Ok that was cool. He hits a top rope crossbody in another of Sting’s old favorites but Orton rolls through and hooks the tights in a Flair move for the win.

Rating: B-. This was fun. I liked the middle with Shelton and Orton just going at it, but I could have done without Flair. I get that it fits the storyline, but Flair just got annoying by this point and wouldn’t leave well enough alone ever and it hurt the match for me. Orton would be world champion in three months.

Matt is with Lita who would soon screw him (and half the locker room) over. Matt gets thrown out of the arena because Bischoff thinks he’s going to interfere in Kane’s match.

Apparently the Cell is a soul searching event. HHH vs. Shawn is the storied rivalry of all time of the month.

Women’s Title: Trish vs. Lita vs. Gail Kim vs. Victoria

All four are too hot for words with Trish somehow possibly being the fourth best looking at the moment. Victoria is champion here. Trish vs. Lita never gets old especially when later this year they main evented Raw. That’s saying a lot and I don’t mean it was the last match and then there was a big angle to end the show. I

mean Trish vs. Lita for the title was the last thing you saw to end the show and it was built up all night. It was a very cool moment and I completely bought into it. Gail gets an AWESOME hold on Victoria. More or less it’s a headscissors combined with a crossface combined with an armbar but cooler than it sounds. Lita and Victoria botch something and we have no Trish for a long time, signaling that she’ll be winning. Yep there she is to roll up Lita for the title out of nowhere.

Rating: D+. They all looked great but other than that it was just your run of the mill Divas match but with four girls that could actually work which is the best case scenario.  Nothing more thant hat.

We recap Eugene vs. Coach which more or less is recapping Eugene. Now I’ve gone off about this before but I have to again as it makes sense here. Around this time, Eugene was the hottest character in the freaking world. I marked out for him like there was no tomorrow. He was a wrestling savant and it worked like a charm.

The idea was simple: the guy was mentally handicapped but he could outwrestle Regal. Bischoff put Regal with him as his manager and Eugene grows on him, making it like a cheesy but good movie. Rock came out one night and said he was Eugene’s friend, as did Chris Benoit. The whole thing worked at a ridiculously amazing level. Tonight he has Coach and in case you’re an idiot and can’t see this coming: Eugene wins.

Right there, that should have been the end of Eugene’s character. Either have him get injured, have him get hit in the head and become smart, or write him off and repackage him and pretend he was never slow or have him act like it was an act, but in no way, shape or form should this have continued beyond tonight. Actually wait. There is one way it could have continued: Regal and Eugene win the tag belts, which they eventually did.

That I could actually see as no one cared about La Resistance anyway, but after THAT, it goes no farther. Instead do you know who he feuded with next? He feuded with HHH, resulting in a 20 minute match at Summerslam. Let me spell this out for you.

At Summerslam, HHH, the Cerebral Assassin, the man that’s going to break Flair’s world title record, the guy that’s been in 5 Hell in a Cell matches as of this show, the guy that’s main evented at least three Wrestlemanias that I can think of, one of the best wrestlers ever, spent 20 minutes fighting a slow guy at the second biggest show of the year. Take a guess as to how the fans reacted to that.

Eugene got more heat than anyone I can remember in a LONG time. It’s the same thing WWE did with Santino. They had a good thing going but then they screwed it up by pushing him too far. He had no business even talking to guys like Batista. They screwed up Eugene even worse though by having him hang with HHH for a long time.

It completely bombed and they got lucky that he destroyed his knee and had to leave for 6 months. Anyway, that’s all later as right now he’s one of the most over guys on the roster so he’s got a match here.

Coach vs. Eugene

I think I smell a comedy match. Eugene’s song is so completely catchy that I’m going to have it in my head all night now. We get a massive Eugene chant. See what I mean? The guy was OVER. JR pushes home the idea that we all grew up wrestling fans and how cool it would be to get to wrestle someday on PPV. How can you not love that?

The fact that he really was a talented technical wrestler (in OVW he more or less wrestled the exact same style Benoit did and made it work perfectly well. The guy can go in the ring.) made it even better because it was actually believable that he was just imitating what he had seen over the years. Yes, I was a huge Eugene mark and still am for his old stuff.

In a funny spot Coach tries to shake his hand and gets brought to his knees by Eugene’s strength. In a unique spot, Eugene goes for a monkey flip and then locks his legs around his arms to make himself into a little ball. Coach rolls him around for a bit and then as he’s yelling at Eugene, Eugene pops his arm up, grabs Coach and flips him over with his legs for a rollup. It sounds stupid but that was awesome. I can’t stop laughing at this.

The fans start another Eugene chant to answer why he’s on this show. There’s nothing wrong with a comedy character. We get a criss cross and Eugene hits the floor and gets a teddy bear from the hot chick I mentioned earlier. Coach apparently doesn’t realize Eugene is gone for about 30 seconds.

Apparently he didn’t notice the overly large man at ringside in incredibly small electric blue tights hugging a stuffed bear, but then again I’m no coach. Anyone fighting Eugene had such an easy time getting heat. THEY’RE HITTING A SLOW GUY. And a random hot chick in a bikini brings out a plate of cookies.

Coach, who called the girl out, slams Eugene into the cookies. Coach slams Eugene into the turnbuckle, and it’s time. Eugene Hulks Up, but here’s Garrison (Lance) Cade for the interference. He rips the bear from earlier in half and Coach jumps the distracted Eugene. It doesn’t work though and a Rock Bottom and People’s Elbow ends this. Cade gets an awful Stunner after it. Regal comes out to congratulate him and Coach takes a somewhat better but still terrible Stunner.

Rating: B+. If anyone agrees here I’ll be shocked. I know it’s stupid but I love this guy. When he stays in comedy territory, it’s just a fun character and it works every time for me. Like I said, few are going to agree and I don’t care.

We recap Benoit vs. Kane which is Kane is jealous of Benoit for living his dream. It didn’t need much of a story, but in reality it’s Benoit needs a credibly challenger to further establish himself as champion so we get Kane so Shawn doesn’t have to job to him. Yeah that’s it.

Raw World Title: Chris Benoit vs. Kane

I love how he just holds up the belt and points at it. That’s simple yet effective which describes a lot about Benoit. DANG that little man can throw some chops! I’ve always been a fan of Kane’s for stuff like this. You need a guy to come in and be a credible jobber: bring in Kane. The guy has laid down for so many people over the years that it’s not even funny.

Benoit goes for the arm and that just completely fails. This is a very physical match but the good thing is you have two guys that can wrestle that style which makes it work far better. Kane just keeps powering out of submissions which is so simple that it’s perfect.

We have a good story here: Benoit can’t get the submissions and Kane knows it so he doesn’t have to be afraid of the champion’s usual offense so he has to adjust things to get the win while Kane is comfortable with his usual stuff, therefore giving him the advantage. Kane hits a chinlock and Benoit fights out of it so Kane just SMACKS him. It looked and sounded awesome yet it was so simple. I love that.

Kane is dominating here in case you couldn’t tell. And never mind as he sends Kane into the post and he goes THUD. That sounded awesome. These guys are pounding the tar out of each other and it’s making the match. Lawler wants to have a telethon for some reason. Benoit finally wakes up and hammers on the knee. Sorry for a lack of jokes here but it’s a good match, making it hard to joke about. Kane counters the Sharpshooter with power, which again is a STORY.

He finally gets the Sharpshooter to a huge pop. Shawn’s will be bigger though of course, because only he and HHH can get the biggest pops of the night of course. Remember that. And we hit the Germans which never gets old. Kane gets two sets of them for six in total which is scary strength from Benoit. There’s your headbutt and Benoit is down too. After getting out of the crossface Kane finally hits the chokeslam for two.

Kane goes old school (WOOT!) and tries a tombstone but settles for a big boot instead. Benoit FINALLY gets the crossface off the Kane lariat though and Kane’s arm isn’t even locked. It looks terrible but how many people can actually see that? In an AWESOME spot, Kane stands up off the Crossface so Benoit just slides across his back and goes for the other arm before just rolling him up off the crossface for the quick pin. That is BRILLIANT psychology there in case you were wondering.

Think about it: Benoit had been using nothing but submissions all night and hadn’t even gone for a cover after his big moves. He tries another submission and while Kane is so preoccupied with fighting it off he shifts to the rollup and gets the pin. That’s thinking in the ring and it ties into the entire match, which is what you call storytelling. Brilliant stuff there.

Rating: B+. I really liked this. While it’s not epic or a classic or anything, this is a very good match. The storytelling was there and you had two guys working hard and being physical which is all I can ask for. I like both guys too so that helps a lot. This was as good as it could have been and was proof that the title match can work without HHH or one of his goons, yet they would have the title back in just a few months, which of course sucks but it’s life so there we are. Great match and worth seeing.

Ad for the HOF DVD. This was the first year they resurrected that thing and made it into the worthless thing that it is today, rather than the very worthless thing that it was before.

In something that I’d like to see more often, we go to the back with Todd and Benoit and Benoit looks at some footage of the match and says what he was thinking at that time as Todd more or less throws him some softball questions. It’s basic stuff, but it’s nice to hear it from the guy that was in the ring 3 minutes ago doing it. He throws in the Benoit is for real line he was using over the summer and leaves holding up the belt.

There’s no one walking in and it’s just Benoit talking about the win. I don’t know why but this was cool to me and I’d love to see it more often. It’s like 90 seconds so it serves as a little cool aside to the match and doesn’t take up much time. Naturally I don’t ever remember seeing it otherwise.

And with an hour left in the show we’re lowering the Cell. This is going to hurt isn’t it?

We recap the feud that would never die which here is because both guys tapped to Benoit or something. Again this is just a way for these two to upstage Benoit, because no matter how good of a match he just had, he can’t get past a Cell match, and of course Shawn and HHH couldn’t just go one on one or something simple like that as Benoit’s match might outshine them. When you hear people talk about Benoit not getting a fair shot as champion, this is the show they’re talking about.

Here’s Benoit’s title reign, which lasted about four months (remember the rosters alternated months on PPV in these days): Wins title at Mania, rematch at Backlash so it’s Shawn and HHH again, this show, vs. HHH at Vengeance, loses at Summerslam. Every single show where he was champion either had HHH and/or Shawn in the main event until he lost. HHH did what Hogan did after Mania 6: he stayed.

There was no need for HHH to stay in the main event all summer long and it’s why Benoit’s title reign sucked. No one bought him as champion because HHH, the bigger star, wouldn’t step out of the way to allow Benoit to become a bigger star and it killed Benoit’s credibility until next year he was right back in the midcard “where he belonged.”

Shawn Michaels vs. HHH

HHH is wearing white boots and black tights. That’s just criminal. The fans are kind of split here which is interesting. Naturally it starts off really slow with regular stuff where the cage is pointless. We hit the floor where you can see a small hole in the Cell which is odd. HHH is bleeding and nearly fifteen minutes in we get something other than fists and bad cage shots between these two. The greatness they bring in is a chair.

And Shawn’s back is hurting. Can we get anything original with him please? Maybe a legit knee injury? He’s never had one of those before. We go really hardcore with STAIRS. Shawn is bleeding pretty badly now too. HHH has more or less stopped bleeding at this point. We have over half an hour of this left too. HHH dominates and they keep saying the match should be stopped. We have a sleeper in a Hell in a Cell match.

The match is ok, but this just shows one thing to me: this did not need to be a Cell match at all. This completely could have been no holds barred or a street fight or anything like that. It’s pure overkill and nothing but a way to have a really long match and make sure that everyone knows that these two are THE top guys on the roster. HHH takes a chair shot and is bleeding a lot harder now which helps a bit. And now we have a ladder.

Seriously, what’s the point of all these weapons WHEN YOU HAVE A CELL AROUND YOU? Shawn needs to bleed a lot more as it’s not working at this rate. It’s table time as the Cell hasn’t been used in over 20 minutes now. The only thing it’s doing here is blocking the view of the camera of this street fight. Now we’ve reached the part of big time matches that I absolutely hate: the laying around between nothing but finishers part.

This is my major criticism of Austin/Rock III at Mania 19: it’s a 19 minute match and about 10 of that is nothing but finisher, two count, finisher, two count, repeat. That’s what they do here as we’re about over 40 minutes. Yeah about 1/3 of this show (as remember it won’t go 3 hours) is this match.

Oh and here’s your Shawn and HHH are great moment of the match: it takes THREE Pedigrees to end Shawn after a 45 minute match. Yeah, this isn’t all about them AT ALL. This again is why people got so fed up with HHH around this time, right here. HHH wins with a third Pedigree.

Rating: B-. This was WAY too long. It did nothing but cement the theory that HHH and Shawn only cared about themselves and were just clinging to their spots. There’s a big myth in wrestling that long means good which isn’t the case at all. This was good but it needed to be about 20 minutes shorter which could have gone to another match on the card. Oh that’s right: THERE WEREN’T ANY OTHERS BECAUSE THE SINGLE BRAND SHOWS WERE FREAKING STUPID!

Instead we get nearly an hour of Shawn and HHH making themselves look better than anyone else on the roster because they need the ego boosts. Yeah the match was ok, but it didn’t need to be in the Cell. It’s like when you’re playing basketball against a kid. Sure you can easily beat him, but that doesn’t mean it’s supposed to be done. Benoit needed to come out of this show looking great but instead this match is really all that’s remembered and I refuse to believe that that wasn’t intentional.

Overall Rating: B-. This was a hard one as it was back and forth with B and B-. It’s definitely a good show but far from great. Benoit and Kane were completely forgotten by HHH and Shawn not so much stealing the show but hijacking it. There was just no need for them to have either 48 minutes or the Cell here at all. I mean it just wasn’t needed at all. Those two were notorious for hogging the spotlight and they did it here again.

The match was ok but it needed to lose about 20 minutes to be really good as there was just WAY too much laying around and setting up stuff. Make that a 25 minute street fight and it’s an easy A. There really isn’t a bad match on the card but there’s nothing great either. Check out Kane/Benoit but if you watch the Cell, be prepared to hit fast forward a good amount.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume I at Amazon for just $4 at:

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With someone you wouldn’t have guessed.The Wyatts laid out Bryan in the back tonight.  I like the potential of this a lot.

Hell in a Cell 2013
Date: October 27, 2013
Location: American Airlines Arena, Miami, Florida
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

We’re finally to the end of this PPV cycle as tonight is basically Battlefield Part II which doesn’t exactly sound like the most interesting thing in the world. The biggest idea tonight is we get to have a WWE Champion after all these weeks of the title being held up. The two Cell matches will see Daniel Bryan vs. Randy Orton for the vacant title and Paul Heyman/Ryback vs. CM Punk in hopefully the final blowoff to the Punk vs. Heyman feud. Oh and Cena is back too. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Kofi Kingston vs. Damien Sandow

This is a replacement match after Curtis Axel vs. Big E. Langston for the Intercontinental Title was canceled earlier today due to Axel being injured. Sandow talks about being Mr. Money in the Bank and how Cena is coming to take Sandow’s future crown. The Spanish commentary is bleeding in over his promo. Sandow pounds him down into the corner to start as the Spanish commentary can still be heard. Kofi comes back with some kicks to the ribs and a jumping back elbow for two.

Damien is sent to the floor as we’re told about Langston getting a US Title shot against Dean Ambrose tonight to make up for losing the Intercontinental Title shot. Sandow rams him into the apron and takes Kofi back inside to pound away as we take a break. Back with Damien getting two off the Wind-Up elbow and putting on an abdominal stretch. Kofi counters into one of his own but Damien hiptosses his way to freedom.

Kingston avoids a charge in the corner and fires off some chops to take over. The Boom Drop connects but Trouble in Paradise misses. A top rope cross body gets two on Sandow as apparently Rey Mysterio is on Spanish commentary. Kofi gets two more off a slingshot dropkick and a slingshot splash but Damien grabs a full nelson slam, apparently called You’re Welcome, for the pin at 6:45.

Rating: D+. The match was nothing special but thank goodness Sandow actually has a decent finisher for a change. That neckbreaker wasn’t taking him anywhere and a full nelson slam is as good as anything else he could use. Also it’s nice to see him get a clean win for a change instead of losing for months on end.

As expected, the opening video is about how the Cell changes you and no one is ever the same after they step foot in it again. We also get some brief clips about the major feuds tonight.

Tag Titles: Cody Rhodes/Goldust vs. Usos vs. Shield

This would be Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns for the Shield and Cody and Goldust coming in with the titles. They beat Shield a few weeks back on Raw but the Usos were #1 contenders, so a triple threat solves everything at once. Goldust vs. Rollins gets us going with Seth being clotheslined down. It’s quickly off to Jimmy to face Goldust with a deep breath confusing the Samoan. Off to Cody to work on Jimmy’s arm and take him down with a release gordbuster for two.

Jimmy makes a blind tag to Jey who comes in with a quick rollup for two of his own, earning him a golf clap from Cody. Rhodes grabs a single leg and takes Jey into the corner for a tag off to Goldust but a quick double team by the Usos has Goldie in trouble. Roman Reigns tags himself in and pulls the legal Goldust out to the floor before taking him down with a jumping clothesline for two back inside. Back to Rollins who pounds away from the floor and hooks a front facelock.

Roman comes back in for a chinlock as the fans wake up for the first time in the match. Goldust fights up and gets a quick two off a backslide but Reigns elbows him down for the same. Goldust dives for the ropes but another elbow stops him for another two count and it’s back to Rollins who knocks Rhodes off the apron. A backdrop puts Seth down but there’s no one for Goldust to tag. He tries the Usos but Seth decks them as well, allowing Reigns to hit a release belly to back suplex for two as Cody makes a last second save. Nice sequence there.

Roman spends a bit too much time talking trash and gets caught in a quick powerslam from Goldust, allowing for the hot tag off to Cody. A missile dropkick puts Reigns down and a sunset flip gets two on Rollins. The moonsault press gets the same and Cody is all fired up. A Disaster Kick puts Rollins on the floor but Jimmy Uso makes another blind tag to go after Seth. Everything breaks down and Jey hits a HUGE die to take out Goldust and Roman.

Jimmy gets a VERY close two off a Samoan drop to Seth but Rollins sends Jimmy to the floor. Cody is back in now and they head up top, with Cody superplexing Seth onto everyone not named Jimmy Uso. That was AWESOME. Jimmy and Rollins head back in but it’s Roman with a big spear to take Jimmy down. Rollins hits the top rope knee to take out Goldust but Cody’s Disaster Kick is caught in a powerbomb, only to have Goldust make the save before Seth can drop him. A quick (and sweet looking) Cross Rhodes to Seth retains the titles at 14:40.

Rating: B. THAT’S HOW YOU START A SHOW! I get tired of seeing opening matches not do anything to fire up the crowd but when you take six talented guys and let them tear the house down like this, they’ve earned the THIS IS AWESOME chants they were getting. Perfect choice for the opener here and I can’t say I disagree with the result.

HHH and Shawn have a chat in the back.

Here’s a very sore Miz with something to say. He talks about how he was chained up and had the word “liar” written on his chest on Smackdown so he isn’t cleared to wrestle tonight. However he’s cleared to fight, so Bray needs to get out of his Cracker Barrel rocking chair and come get him. Bray pops up on the screen and says what sounds like a lullaby.

He says it pains him to see Hollywood (meaning Miz) like this, with nothing to lose. Miz’s words mean less than salt to Bray because Miz can’t see the monster behind Wyatt’s eyes. The lights go out and come back with the Family in the ring to beat Miz down. The fans chant for Kane…..and here he is! Kane clears the ring and chokeslams a grateful Miz because that’s how Kane rolls.

Summer Rae/Fandango vs. Natalya/Great Khali

This is a bonus match which was actually set up on Smackdown when the girls got in a fight to end a match between the guys. Before the match Fandango says he’s the true master of salsa dancing and we get a quick demonstration. The guys get us going with Fandango’s kick to the ribs being caught and the dancer being tossed down. Off to the girls with Summer getting two off a quick rollup and scoring with a nice dropkick.

Natalya easily takes her down and grabs an armbar but it’s quickly back to Fandango. That’s cool with Nattie though as she sweeps the legs to load up the Sharpshooter but Fandango bails to the floor. Khali easily pulls him back in, only to have his knee dropkicked out. Fandango stops to flirt with Natalya even more, allowing Khali to get back up and chop the skin off his chest. Back to the girls with Summer bailing to the ropes to avoid the Sharpshooter before grabbing a rollup to pin Natalya out of nowhere at 4:50.

Rating: D+. Summer wasn’t bad out there and certainly didn’t embarrass herself. Imagine that: having girls in NXT actually wrestle instead of have danceoffs and swimsuit contests makes them better in the ring. It’s a bonus match too so it’s hard to complain when the match isn’t too bad.

Tonight’s expert panel of Kaitlyn, R-Truth and Ziggler don’t have much to add.

US Title: Dean Ambrose vs. Big E. Langston

As mentioned this is a replacement match for Langston after Axel was injured. Langston quickly runs Ambrose over for two before sending the champion into the corner for a running shoulder to the ribs. A backbreaker puts Dean down and we hit the bearhug by the power guy. Dean pokes the eyes to escape, sending Langston into the corner. Big E. easily backdrops Ambrose to the floor, possibly hurting the champion’s knee. Dean pokes him in the eye again to take over but his suplex attempt is easily blocked.

Instead he drapes Big E’s arm over the top and cranks away on it a bit before climbing the ropes and driving his knee into Langston’s face. The dropkick against the ropes gets two for Dean and it’s off to a reverse chinlock. Langston fights up and hits a pair of clotheslines for two each, only to miss the Ultimate Warrior splash. Instead it’s a belly to belly for two on Ambrose and now the splash connects for the same.

Ambrose bails to the floor and tries to walk away, only to be caught with ease and dragged back to the ring. Back in and Dean hits a quick DDT for two and Big E. might be cut under the eye. Not that it matters though as he spears Dean through the ropes and back to the floor ala Edge to Foley at Wrestlemania 21. Dean doesn’t make it back in and loses via countout at 8:53.

Rating: C. I was liking the match until the ending, but there really wasn’t anything else they could do with this. Ambrose doesn’t seem ready to drop the title, so having Langston win without getting the title is the best way they could get out of this one. Langston definitely held his own out there and that’s a good sign. Rematch will be imminent I’m sure.

The Cell is lowered.

We recap Ryback/Heyman vs. Punk. It was originally Punk vs. Ryback but Punk wanted Heyman and won a Beat the Clock challenge, earning him the right to pick the stipulation. His idea: a handicap match inside the Cell.

CM Punk vs. Ryback/Paul Heyman

And there’s no Heyman. Ryback gets in the Cell before pointing towards the entrance where Heyman rides out on a cart. It’s actually a lift which takes Paul up to the top of the Cell with Heyman talking about how he’s risen from the depths and ascended to the top of the world. The fans are all over Paul as Punk pounds away on Ryback and knocks him out to the floor. Now the fans chant for CM after he hits a suicide dive to send Ryback into the Cell wall. It’s kendo stick time but Ryback drives Punk’s spine into the steel to stop him.

Ryback blasts Punk with the stick and takes him back inside to beat Punk down even more. Punk’s back is targeted with a reverse waistlock before Punk fights free and low bridges Ryback out to the floor. A forearm off the top puts Ryback down again and it’s table time. Punk can’t get it set up though and Ryback suplexes him back first into the Cell wall. Back in and a belly to back suplex gets two more as we hit the reverse waistlock again. Punk fights out again and hits a spinning cross body for two followed by the running knee in the corner.

Some kendo stick shots drop the big man and there’s the Macho Elbow for two. More stick shots keep Ryback down and now the table is set up in the ring. It falls onto its side though, allowing Ryback to crotch Punk on the side. The Meat Hook is good for two but Punk hits him low to block the Shell Shock. Ryback lays on the table for no apparent reason, allowing Punk to drop another Macho Elbow for no cover. Instead a cane to Ryback’s head sets up the GTS for the pin at 13:55.

Rating: C-. If this had been a regular match it would have been fine, but it was inside the Cell which means it has a higher standard. Putting Heyman out of the match was probably the best idea, but there really wasn’t much to this that made me care. Punk beating Ryback in a hardcore match is nothing special, but it certainly wasn’t a terrible match. The Cell was a prop here though, which is what I hate about this show.

Post match Punk climbs up after Heyman while carrying the kendo stick. The beating begins and Punk wears him out before hitting the GTS to end the feud. Not exactly a huge spot but it’s as good as we’re going to get I guess.

Breast cancer is bad.

Daniel Bryan says all he’s wanted was a chance and hopefully Shawn Michaels will give him that. It was the night after Wrestlemania 28 in this very arena where the YES chants began so Bryan starts one for old times’ sake.

The announcers talk while Heyman is taken down and the Cell is raised.

Real Americans vs. Los Matadores

The Matadores are in blue tonight and Torito is now black, sending JBL into a conspiracy filled frenzy. Cesaro sends Diego into the corner to start but gets taken down by a hurricanrana. Diego is sent outside and it’s off to Swagger who takes out his leg to gain control. The announcers debate masked men who are heroes as Cesaro puts on a front facelock. A backdrop puts an invading Swagger on the floor but Cesaro kicks Fernando off the apron to prevent a tag.

There’s the Cesaro Swing to Diego, complete with the fans counting the revolutions. Even Cesaro is dizzy after 31 spins but Fernando makes the save at two. The hot tag brings in Fernando and things speed up a bit, only to see Swagger suplex Fernando down and put on the Patriot Lock. Fernando escapes and tags in the spent Diego who hits a double backbreaker for the pin on Swagger at 5:54.

Rating: D-. I hate this team. I just do and that is all.

Torito gores Colter post match because it was SO funny the first time.

We get the Cena rehab video because there’s no feud between these two.

World Heavyweight Championship: Alberto Del Rio vs. John Cena

After the big match intros we’re ready go to. They fight over a top wristlock to start and Cena immediately bails to the floor for safety. Back in and Cena hits a shoulder but it hurts the bad arm so he can’t follow up. Del Rio stomps him down in the corner but Cena comes back with a clothesline for two. Del Rio kicks away at the arm and gets two off a German suplex. Off to an armbar for a good while before a stomp to the chest keeps Cena in trouble.

A top rope forearm to the side of the head gets two for the champion and it’s back to the armbar. Cena finally rolls free to send Del Rio out to the floor and get himself a breather. Alberto comes back in and goes up, only to jump into a dropkick. Cena initiates his finishing sequence but the AA is countered into a Backstabber. Del Rio misses a charge into the corner, allowing Cena to hit a tornado DDT of all things for two.

The top rope Fameasser is broken up by a running enziguri but Cena ducks an attempt at a second one. Another AA is escaped and a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two for the champion. Sandow is shown watching from the back. Del Rio puts Cena in the Tree of Woe but misses a charge into the post, allowing Cena to hit a high cross body for two. Alberto grabs a Codebreaker to the arm but Cena rolls through the cross armbreaker into the STF. Ropes are quickly grabbed though and a low superkick gets two for the champion.

Now the armbreaker goes on full but Cena rolls on top of Del Rio to block a lot of the pressure. Del Rio rolls down Cena’s elbow pad to increase the pressure but Cena lifts him up into the air for a powerbomb in a nice counter. Back up and the AA gives Cena his fourteenth world title at 15:13.

Rating: C+. This took awhile to get going but it wasn’t terrible or anything. Cena winning is the right choice as they can have the rematch next month at Survivor Series, which gives Cena something to do and keeps him out of the main storyline with the new regime and all that jazz. Del Rio losing is fine as it was just a matter of someone catching him eventually. This was fine and I have little problem with Cena winning. If nothing else it might pick up the world title’s credibility.

No Sandow.

More expert panel.

Divas Title: AJ Lee vs. Brie Bella

AJ is defending. Brie gets shoved down to start and it’s off to a quick chinlock. The fans are noticeably not that interested in the match to put it mildly. A neckbreaker puts Brie down and AJ skips around the ring to the only reaction so far. AJ hooks a guillotine choke but Brie drives her into the corner and hits a middle rope dropkick to put the champion down.

A few more dropkicks have AJ in trouble but she sends Brie into the corner to stop her. The Black Widow is countered and Brie puts on a half crab as Nikki beats up Tamina. AJ makes the rope and Brie’s running knee hits her sister, allowing the Black Widow to retain the title for AJ at 5:20.

Rating: D+. THANK GOODNESS. It’s so nice to see the talented and popular wrestler get the chance for once instead of bowing to reality TV. This likely sets up the Bella feud which no one is interested in but will give us lots of moments to look at the camera for some very REAL heart to heart moments.

The Prime Time Players are playing WWE 14 when Bob Backlund of all people comes up, drenched in sweat for some reason. He thinks video games are a waste of time but Titus says the kids can play and become immortal. The result: Bob Backlund doing the Millions of Dollars dance. I’ve got nothing to add here, but more Bob Backlund cameos would be appreciated.

We get a long recap of Randy Orton vs. Daniel Bryan. They fought at Night of Champions with Bryan winning but being stripped of the title the next night on Raw. Battleground saw them fight to a no contest, so tonight it’s the showdown in the Cell with guest referee Shawn Michaels. Shawn trained Bryan but is best friends with COO HHH.

WWE Championship: Daniel Bryan vs. Randy Orton

Inside the Cell with Shawn refereeing. Orton is introduced as the Viper for the first time in forever. HHH comes out as well to make the entrances stretch out even longer but leaves before the bell. The Cell is lowered. They slug it out to start but Orton takes over with a quick powerslam. Bryan comes right back with a quick necksnap and a missile dropkick followed by some kicks in the corner. There’s the moonsault out of the corner but Orton dropkicks a charging Bryan down for two.

Orton slowly stomps away before draping Bryan ribs first over the top rope. Bryan is knocked into the Cell wall and sent into the steps for good measure. Orton rams the head into the cage wall before Bryan reverses a whip to send Randy into the steps. Back inside now with Bryan getting two and firing off the kicks to the chest. Orton gets caught in the Tree of Woe for more kicks to the chest followed by a running dropkick to the face. Orton goes to the floor but sidesteps the FLYING GOAT, sending Bryan head first into the steel.

Back in and Orton loads up a superplex but gets caught in a nice sunset bomb to put both guys down. Shawn hasn’t been a factor at all yet. Bryan fires off more kicks but Orton comes back with right hands, only to have Daniel score with the running clothesline. There’s the Swan Dive for two and Orton’s rollup is countered into a YES Lock attempt. Ropes mean nothing here (actually keeping continuity for a change) so Orton has to crawl to the floor for the break.

Now it’s Bryan whipping Orton into the Cell walls over and over again before dropkicking Orton into the steel. Bryan finds a chair under the ring and pops Orton in the back with it before pulling out several more chairs to toss in the ring. He throws in probably ten chairs before using one to blast Orton in the ribs and back again. Back in and Orton goes to the eyes and picks up a chair for some shots and a two count.

Another shot to the back gets the same and Orton piles up the chairs in the middle of the ring. Bryan is loaded up into a superplex and you can hear the crowd gasp. Daniel punches his way out to prevent immense pain but Orton crotches him down. The superplex connects but only Bryan’s legs hit the chairs, meaning it’s only good for two. This brings HHH back out to say that was a three, giving us our DX moment of extreme emotions. Orton hits the t-bone suplex but Shawn is too busy arguing to count the pin.

More arguing ensues as Orton escapes the YES Lock again. The Elevated DDT connects for two and Shawn argues with HHH even more. Orton loads up the RKO but Bryan shoves him away, taking out Shawn in the process. HHH of course opens the Cell as Bryan hits the running knee, and since he’s in a referee shirt, the former world champion is knocked out from a single shot to the back. Bryan hits the running knee to an invading HHH but Shawn superkicks Bryan down, giving Orton the pin and the title at 22:22;

Rating: B-. Good match but you knew the screwy finish was coming. I liked that they actually cranked up the violence here with some nice weapon spots, but the ending sets up more drama, likely culminating soon. I can’t imagine Shawn fights Bryan in an actual match, but HHH vs. Bryan is likely coming soon. Good main event here but Bryan’s push is in severe pain.

Shawn leaves and Orton and HHH pose to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This show was better than I was expecting which was a nice surprise. It certainly isn’t must see or even really all that good, but it feels like something happened here, meaning the show was actually important. That’s a major step up over the previous show this month so at least they’re moving in the right direction. We’ve got some new ideas set up going forward and the matches weren’t bad for the most part, so we’ll call this a nice effort with some decent results.

Results

Cody Rhodes/Goldust b. Usos and Shield – Cross Rhodes to Rollins

Summer Rae/Fandango b. Great Khali/Natalya – Rollup to Natalya

Big E. Langston b. Dean Ambrose via countout

CM Punk b. Paul Heyman/Ryback – GTS to Ryback

Los Matadores b. Real Americans – Double backbreaker to Swagger

John Cena b. Alberto Del Rio – Attitude Adjustment

AJ Lee b. Brie Bella – Black Widow

Randy Orton b. Daniel Bryan – Orton pinned Bryan after Sweet Chin Music from Shawn Michaels

 

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