Smackdown (Pilot)
Date: April 29, 1999
Location: New Haven Coliseum, New Haven, Connecticut
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jim Cornette

So around this time which is about a month after Mania 15, the WWF was REALLY big. WCW was on the ropes and WWF just started pouring it on. This is another example of what they were going to try to do. Much like WCW with Thunder, they wanted to add a second weekly TV show.

Now that didn’t actually happen until August, but this is the test run. This is a pilot for a show called Smackdown that became a regular series in about four months. I have never seen this as I didn’t have UPN at the time, so this is new territory for me as well. Let’s get to it.

We recap Backlash where Shane cost Rock the title and the following night where Rock called Shane out. It resulted in a beatdown which turned Rock face. It also had Stephanie being abducted by the Ministry and Vince going to Austin for help. It was also the night of the Black Wedding which is perhaps my all time favorite moment with Austin riding in like the cavalry to save his archenemy’s daughter because “it was the right thing to do.” I could watch that all day.

Stephanie and Vince come out to no music even though No Chance has been in use for awhile now. She doesn’t have implants or curled hair here nor most of her curves. DANG she looks great. She’s just flat out beautiful no matter how you look at her. The fans say they hate Vince and he agrees.

He would turn mega heel very soon so it’s not like it matters. Vince and Stephanie thank Shamrock, Show and Austin who made the save. In two funny moments, we’re told by Stephanie that her clothes were ripped off and that Taker kept touching her. Both get big pops. That’s just funny. Shane and the Corporation appears and I think I know what’s coming.

Shane says he would have made the save, even though a clip on Raw showed Shane stopping Boss Man, HHH and the Posse from running out to help. Shane is just totally evil at the moment and is on a pure power trip. I loved this character from him. After Vince and Stephanie leave, Shane says he wants Austin and the Rock.

They’re teaming together tonight and need opponents. HHH volunteers but Shane says “are there any takers?” Of course the lights go out and Takers’ AWESOME satanic music hits. Of course he’s the partner, and we’ll revisit this later.

Blue Blazer gets on Jeff Jarrett’s nerves.

Val Venis vs. Jeff Jarrett

This is part of a rather complex/annoying storyline. Basically Val wants Debra but Sable’s bodyguard Nicole Bass wants Val so she’s helping him and expecting sex in return. Problem is she’s rather manly looking. There’s more to it than that but those are the basics. And here’s Blue Blazer who is apparently taking Jarrett’s place. Ok then.

Val Venis vs. Blue Blazer

Ok so Jeff was subbing for Blazer who is now subbing for Jeff. Russo was still on the payroll at this point if that clears anything up. Blazer is in the cape mind you. It’s amazing to think that he had less than a month to live at this point. Cornette wonders why if Owen is the Blue Blazer, why doesn’t Jarrett call himself the Tweed Sportscoat? Debra gets on the apron for a distraction and it lets Jarrett interfere for the pin.

Bass comes out to hit on Val and they both run. Then Godfather comes out to claim Debra who he “won” in a match on Heat. She has to be a Ho for an undetermined amount of time. This was a way too complex four way feud that never went anywhere for obvious reasons. Owen and Jeff beat him down and leave with Debra.

Rating: N/A. Way too short to be anything of note here. It wasn’t bad or anything, but it was yet another layer onto this incredibly difficult to comprehend story already.

Rock talks to no one in particular about nothing in particular.

Blue Blazer says the WWF needs him. This video was played just after his accident. This was a rather funny gimmick.

Big Show vs. Test

Show is freshly face here and also freshly in the company, having debuted about two and a half months ago. He was the first real sign that the war was in trouble for WCW as they were losing young guys like him. Test was recently thrown out of the Corporation so he would become a face either here or very soon.

He would also join what would become the Union which would start the Test/Stephanie love thing. Boss Man comes down almost immediately and Show hits a dropkick of all things. Chokeslam ends this in like a minute. Boss Man beats up Test afterwards but Show saves.

Rating: N/A. This was when the stories were more intricate and things were built far better than they are today. This would evolve into the Union rather soon.

And here’s The Rock. The fans are doing his lines for him which is always funny. Rock says that even though he and Austin are partners tonight, they’re not friends. Cue Rattlesnake to a bigger pop than Rock. Austin says Rock is a punk kid and just owns Rock here. Rock wasn’t ready for this spot yet and it was clear.

Here’s Shane again, and this is a very important moment if I remember correctly. Yep I remember correctly, as the lights go out and here’s Taker. After being told three times that Shane and Taker are indeed standing next to each other, we’re told that there is a CORPORATE MINISTRY!

I remember hearing about this on Raw a few weeks later and being SHOCKED. Vince would join soon to make them completely unbeatable but Austin would get the CEO spot and then the world title that he would lose lately shorter once again.

X-Pac and Kane say they get along, which to an extent was true.

Darren Drozdov vs. D’Lo Brown

This isn’t the match where Droz had his neck broken by Brown. That wouldn’t be until August. Albert is with Droz here and is brand new. Ivory is brand new here too and looks something close to decent. Blast it it’s great to hear Cornette just being awesome.

Obviously we only talk about the merger which is understandable here. Brown gets the Sky High out of nowhere but Albert stops the Lo Down. He interferes a bit later and that’s good enough for the DQ. Albert tries to pierce Brown somewhere but Mark Henry returns for the save.

Rating: D+. Not bad for what it was I guess but to say this was a contrast of styles is an understatement. Droz had been around for about a year at this point so it’s not like he was new or anything. If nothing else he had a good look I guess. Still though, pretty boring match although it set up the tag feud.

Sable has gone Hollywood. Even Howard Stern said she was hot.

The Outlaws argue over having friends.

Tag Titles: X–Pac/Kane vs. New Age Outlaws

The team that aren’t the Outlaws are the champions here. Kane doesn’t trust Pac yet they’re tag champions. My goodness: what WACKY tag champions! I believe this marked the 38475th time Russo wrote this up. Dang the Outlaws are over. Where in the world is this show? We’re never actually told that. Thanks to Disarray for showing me that website as it’s been rather useful.

Billy is being all serious here for some reason as he won’t do his usual shtick. Kane and Billy beat on each other a bit and we hear AGAIN about how Billy is the best pound for pound athlete in the company. Who thought that as they’re rather stupid. I’m sure he’s far better than Big Show who weighs 500lbs and is 7’2 yet can throw a standing dropkick that is rather good while being strong enough to lift things that are rather heavy.

Billy throws a dropkick and it’s legitimately not as good as Show’s was. The idea here is that Pac is a friend of the Outlaws so they don’t want to fight him that much, although Billy isn’t seeming to have many issues with it. Kane comes in to NO pop as the Road Dogg is way more popular. That’s rather odd but I think this is face vs. face. Yeah it is. Pac misses the Bronco Buster and I begin to smile.

Road Dogg hits a low blow in front of the referee for a lack of a disqualification and the Fameasser gets two. In a somewhat creative ending, Gunn gets Pac in a gorilla press but Kane knocks Road Dogg into Gunn and Pac falls on him for the pin. That protects both teams actually and it worked. A nice thing here was Cornette doing the wrestling commentary while Cole was all about the angles etc. That’s a balance they need to get back today.

Rating: C+. Not bad here but nothing really all that special. They did a decent job of furthering the Kane is confused stuff while setting up the future Outlaws split. For the life of me I don’t get why they didn’t have that as the final of the KOTR but went with Pac vs. Gunn instead but whatever. Match was fine.

Austin is getting ready.

Gunn is at Road Dogg and says the team is done.

Michaels Hayes introduces the Brood, which is still some of the coolest music I have ever heard. Also they had that ring of fire for an entrance. Cornette says they’re the three best talents in the sport. Well two out of three isn’t bad I guess. Gangrel’s voice SUCKS. They’re breaking their silence that Taker insisted they have apparently. I see why he didn’t get to talk that much.

He cuts a badly rambling promo which makes no sense as he talks about their search for something or other. Edge is just AWESOME looking here as his eyes are just insane looking. His voice is also much better and he doesn’t ramble. Hayes thinks it’s all a gimmick and they call him Michael. Was there a point to him being there at all? He gets a blood bath and I flat out do not care. I never liked Hayes so there we are.

Gunn is looking for X-Pac.

Kevin Kelly is with Shamrock who says he’s going to destroy Bradshaw in a street fight.

Bradshaw vs. Ken Shamrock

They start very fast and we hear the name UFC which is just weird to hear on Raw. Bradshaw is put in a knee bar like 30 seconds in but he gets out. Shamrock swings a ball bat at Bradshaw and pay no attention to it bending when it hits a table or Bradshaw getting up mere seconds after taking a shot to the head with it from a grown man that is rather strong.

Shamrock chokes him with the bat even though it’s parallel to his head and not over his throat but it works. Talk about a mess. Referees come out for the save and it doesn’t work as he beats everyone up including Sarge.

Rating: N/A. This was a total mess that went nowhere at all. Shamrock destroyed him and made him look weak, although not as weak as the bat. To be fair though, he was supposed to crush Bradshaw who was just a tag guy at this point. This wasn’t much at all and went by way too fast to tell what was going on. Again, it’s the Russo era shining through.

Foley is in the Boiler Room and says he wants to call off the match but can’t do it. He explains his character and it makes things even more confusing. Dang I love Foley.

Gunn is still looking for Pac.

Shane gives the Corporate Ministry a quick pep talk.

Big Boss Man vs. Mankind

Vince and Stephanie have allegedly left. Foley gets a great pop as Cornette says how great he is. Truer words have never been spoken. He’s my favorite wrestler of all time so expect a lot of bias for this. Cornette: “He’s going for Mr. Socko and folks if you don’t know the story behind Mr. Socko, we don’t have time to tell you.”

Yeah Jim could be a bit weird at times. Boss Man tries to run but Test throws him back in. The Union continues to have the seeds planted. Here’s Big Show to throw Boss Man back in as well. When I say that I mean he picks him up and throws him over the top rope. Mandible Claw ends it immediately after that.

Rating: N/A. This was all angle here and that’s all it needed to be. The Union was on the way which was a needed thing to help fight against the massive Corporate Ministry. It only lasted a month though which was odd.

Billy jumps X-Pac and Kane makes the save. Seriously, why did anyone care about Gunn?

Rock and Austin head to the ring separately.

The Rock/Steve Austin vs. The Undertaker/HHH

The Mean Street Posse and Chyna are here with HHH as Cole tries to tell us this is going to be the best tag match of all time. That’s just amusing. If this has a clean finish I’ll be stunned. Taker has Paul Bearer and Shane with him. Rock looks strange here. His look changed a lot over the course of like a year or two. Taker’s hair looks freaky here. Rock is surrounded since Austin of course comes out late.

It’s Rock vs. Taker in the ring and Austin vs. HHH on the ramp. HHH is in long tights here which is still weird to see. They switch off and I’m not expecting many tags here. Taker and Austin start officially and it’s all Austin. HHH comes in for a save and just stays in. Ok then. Rock and Austin make their first tag after Austin has been in there for three minutes and Cornette says they’re working very well together. That’s just amusing.

Rock and Taker hit a double clothesline and we’re back to even. It amazes me sometimes how a single clothesline or whatever can be equivalent to so many big moves that a guy has taken. And there’s the brawl and here are the others for the run in and double DQ. Test, Show and Shamrock run out. No Foley for some reason. It’s a near riot with Austin and Taker being the only two left.

Austin takes a chokeslam and OF COURSE Vince is here. He takes a chair shot to save Austin which fits in pretty well actually. Cornette of course is losing his mind as usual. Austin pops up and hits a Stunner on Taker as Shane beats up Vince. Shane gets a Stunner too and beer is consumed to end the show. Austin pours beer on Vince to wake him up.

Rating: C-. Like I said, were you expecting anything else? This was fine as far as going through with the angle but not much else. For a five minute match though, this was fine. It’s your traditional Attitude Era main event tag match so it’s par for the course. Not terrible, but it works fine for what it was.

Overall Rating: C+. Keeping in mind that this was a one off special and not a regular show, this came off pretty well. It’s more or less a commercial for the main event but that’s what it was supposed to be. This came off fine though and it set the stage for four months later when this became a regular deal.

Decent enough show though and it’s mostly harmless. One big angle is enough to give it a pass though. Not really recommended, but if you watch it you won’t be wasting your time if that makes sense.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $5 at:

 

Extreme Rules 2010
Date: April 25, 2010
Location: 1st Mariner Arena, Baltimore, Arena
Attendance: 12,278
Commentators: Michael Cole, Matt Striker, Jerry Lawler

Ok so here we are. Again this is hopefully going to be a live review so if it comes off as odd don’t be surprised. This show was plagued by a lack of Raw build up show due to the volcano in Iceland. Even still though, this is a minor PPV as it’s just a rehash of the Mania feuds. This is the show where everything is a gimmick match which is always at least cool in theory. The main event is Batista/Cena in a last man standing match. Let’s get to it.

Opening video more or less says that Extreme rules. Cute. Incredibly stupid, but cute. Rey/Punk gets a higher billing than Edge/Jericho. That’s rather odd. Standard video package that sums up everything. WWE is very user friendly. It’s easy to step into any show and get what’s going on. That’s a HUGE perk for attracting new fans.

Street Fight: HHH vs. Sheamus

WOW. This is the opener? I’m stunned actually. This has been a decent build up to a feud…and there’s no HHH. ICELAND ATTACKS AGAIN! We go to the back and Sheamus has jumped HHH. I like it. It gives things a feeling of you don’t know what’s coming which is a very nice touch to say the least. The pale one has a steel pipe and gets in a solid shot on HHH’s head. I guess this has officially started but I’m not sure. The referee calls for the medic and we go to the arena.

And Big Show and Miz are here. Ok then. These two aren’t scheduled but I’d bet on a tag title match. They’re not scheduled but they just happen to have their wrestling gear on. The jacket on Miz works in some weird way. Miz has risen so far so fast that it’s amazing. I think Bret is going to be here soon.

Oh apparently they’re moving that to tomorrow. They say they have a lack of competition and they’re praying for opponents. I smell Kane for some reason. Here’s Teddy Long. He makes ShowMiz vs. a team of his choosing. This is just for a title shot, not the titles. Got it. And the opponents are….not announced yet. I’m liking this live way of reviewing actually. Ah .

Tag Team Gauntlet

R-Truth and Morrison are opening us up here. This is the first of three teams. I know this is a rematch of Mania but come on now. Actually this works so I can’t complain that much. Cole says the fans are behind the face team. NO REALLY? It’s a bit better than the previous one at Mania, but not by much. Morrison screws up and gets disqualified by not letting Show out of the ropes when he has a triangle choke on. Ok then.

Team number two is MVP/Mark Henry. This is rather short but it works fine I guess. Without going into details, MVP gets punched and pinned.

Cue Hart Dynasty, Hart Attack, pin. Literally, that’s it.

Rating: N/A. Too much of a mess to really grade it as a regular match. Something like this was needed to flesh out the card though. It came off fine though.

Grisham tries to give us an update on HHH but Sheamus says he’ll have to forfeit or get a worse beating.

CM Punk vs. Rey Mysterio

Remember if Punk loses his head is shaved. Punk NEEDS this. Rey is wearing a Skelator mask. Ok then. Punk hits that sweet powerslam of his. In a nice spot, Punk just throws Punk under the ropes so he crashes into the floor. Nicely done. Gallows has a bit of an Austin look going for him.

Decent match far and longer than their Mania one I think. Come on WWE don’t kill Punk off yet. He busts out a bow and arrow of all things. Nice. Striker tries to turn Cole and Lawler to Straightedge. I like it. Punk busts out a freaking Gory Special of all things. See? Even back then they had special moves. No Mercy stole from them! Punk is more or less dominating, which scares me to no end. Serena stops the 619 and she and Gallows get ejected.

Rey hits an Asai Moonsault to get right back into it. Crowd is red hot by the way. Rey gets a seated senton but Punk hits a dropkick to make the save. This is a storied rivalry already. No Striker. Just no. Punk hits his springboard clothesline and I can’t stand Rey anymore. Seriously, get over the whole overcoming the odds idea.

It’s just stupid anymore. GTS is countered into a rana for 2 and then punk kicks Rey’s head off. Solid match to put it mildly. Rey gets the fraeking 619 and someone slides a chair into the ring. It’s a bald guy that slides under the ring. No clue who that was. He also drops Rey with something on the floor and Rey is out. GTS ends it. YES!

Rating: A-. VERY good match that had me wondering who would win up until the very end. Also, this is the way the match needed to end. Rey needed to lose here and Punk now has a credible win in this gimmick. That was a great match though. Love it and yes my Punk bias likely has a lot to do with it but still.

Strap Match: JTG vs. Shad Gaspar

It’s the four corners version here which I’m in the minority that actually prefers it that way. I just could not care less about this match. I truly couldn’t. JTG needs to win to regain credibility apparently. That would imply he had it to begin with, which is a straight up lie. Shad is dominating for the most part here. Yeah riveting.

Wow the crowd is SILENT for this. Who would have seen that coming? Shad just destroys JTG here and beats on him with the strap sans mercy. Shad gets his first three…and JTG does the same three. Not THIS finish again. Yep. JTG hits his finisher and dives for the 4th corner. Screw me running at least it’s over.

Rating: D-. And I like these kinds of matches. The crowd simply could not care less and it came off very clearly here. I mean NO ONE cared. Just boring as all goodness here with two guys that have no heat on them at all. At least it’s over though.

HHH can’t fight tonight. Yeah I’ll buy that.

Orton vs. Swagger is next? Really? We hit the recap. You know the drill by now.

Smackdown World Title: Randy Orton vs. Jack Swagger

Remember it’s Extreme Rules which I guess means no rules? Crowd loves them some Orton. Swagger controls early on as you would expect. I’m hoping they don’t make the switch tonight. Orton chasing the title for a few months would be nice. Also Swagger needs the credibility that the title gives him.

I love how more or less the announcers say Orton has nothing but the RKO. That’s not that nice. Swagger is dominating but Orton gets a belt shot to break that up. Ok then. Orton hits that same powerslam that Punk hit earlier. Swagger counters the elevated DDT too. Nicely done. It’s garbage can time.

SICK shots with it from Orton. Those were nice. Orton is going off now and it’s awesome. Orton does a stomp to Swagger’s head while he’s on the steps. Ow. The knee drop misses though and Swagger hits the floor. Naturally he gets caught in the elevated DDT though and it’s Orton setting for the RKO now. Hint: when he slaps the mat and shouts, it means RKO is coming.

Instead though he sets up a chair but the RKO onto it is countered. Well kind of it was. The look came off terribly but I get the concept. Gutwrench powerbomb hits and Swagger gets the pin. HUGE win there. That was all Swagger as he countered the RKO and got the pin. All Swagger there. Post match Orton gets the RKO to keep the tweener thing going.

Rating: B-. Not great but the booking was exactly right. This was a decent little match as Swagger is getting better and better in the ring. I liked it for what it was. No classic but not bad at all.

And here’s Sheamus. Ok then. And despite not being able to feel his hand, here comes HHH. Ok, if he wins here, I give up.

Street Fight: Sheamus vs. HHH

HHH of course controls to start things off which is bearable I guess. He hits the spinebuster but can’t get the Pedigree because of the arm being how hurt it is. Now this is more like it. He’s just ramming HHH into the barricade over and over again. I forgot this is a street fight. That’s not a good sign at all.

Striker and King are arguing like no other here and it’s coming off as great. Striker says he and Lawler have both wrestled hurt. That’s rather stupid. Striker wrestled for what, a year or so? Just seems ridiculous to compare the two of them. And of course HHH has the energy to use a DDT with his left arm.

HHH grabs a pipe and smacks HHH in the head with it. Naturally he kicks out. Sure why not? Apparently after a massive Irish man blasts you in the head with a steel pipe you can kick out via instinct. Sure why not? Celtic Cross is blocked. Apparently that’s called Pale Justice now. HHH gets a kendo stick and all of a sudden his arm is fine. That makes my head hurt. This has at least picked up a bit. Pump kick hits though. A second kick hits and it’s all Sheamus.

Naturally he lets HHH get up and the third and fourth kicks land to FINALLY end him. And remember kiddies: do not attempt making yourself look that strong without a licensed wife with connections. To be fair, the ending makes this a lot more bearable. Post match he fights off a cervical collar and tries to crawl off. He’s almost to the entrance when Sheamus hits ANOTHER kick to put him down again. Nice.

Rating: C-. The second half saved this match. The first half was borderline failure but the weapons helped it a lot. Sheamus winning is the right thing though, period. Yes HHH looked very strong, but to be fair he laid down at the end of the match and that’s what counts at the end of the day. Not terrible but more about the angle afterwards than the match.

Ad for Over the Limit. Oh dear.

Edge is getting ready.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Beth Phoenix vs. Michelle McCool

This is an Extreme Makeover match. Michelle looks great of course. The music helps a lot here for her I think. There’s a table of makeup etc at ringside. Beth gets a semi-pop. Can someone shut Beth up? Please? Michelle is possibly the best women’s athlete ever? Really? That’s just pitiful.

Basically we’re just making fun of Vickie and using random weapons like hairspray and ironing boards. Beth counters the hairspray again and it’s one on one now. Vickie has a broom. Make your own jokes. Glam Slam ends it like it should have.

Rating: D. And that’s mainly due to Beth’s awesome cleavage in this one. This was a comedy match to put it nicely and it didn’t come off well to put it nicely. The girls looked hot, but having them use things like makeup and ironing boards? Really?

Ad for the Mania DVD.

Jericho does his usual great promo about how it ends tonight. He looks buff to say the least.

No recap actually.

Cage Match: Edge vs. Chris Jericho

Ah ok we got a quick recap after Edge’s intro. Makes more sense. Jericho stalls a lot to play himself some heel. Ah there we go now they’re both in. And we see Jericho’s tights come down. Didn’t need that one there. Jericho gets rammed into the cage. Striker: The metal militia bares its fangs.

Edge goes for the spear but misses entirely. That’s never a good thing. I love that springboard dropkick that Jericho busts out from time to time. Striker talks about footwork and Lawler just couldn’t care less. In a cool spot, Jericho hits a leg whip from the top into the Walls. Nicely done. Edge does the climb the ropes spot to get out which is a nice counter.

Jericho has the door open and knocks Edge to the middle of the ring. Then of course like an idiot he gets out of the cage and goes back in. Yeah he’s an idiot. Edge hits a fast spear for two. Codebreaker gets two and we fight on top of the cage for a bit. Edge gets crotched and Jericho gets out AGAIN but this time Edge stops him from falling.

We fight on top even more and Jericho comes back into the cage. And so does Edge. In a NICE spot, Edge is standing on the top rope and Jericho gets a running start, hits the other rope and into a Codebreaker so both guys are down. Nice. That only gets two for a pretty weak pop. Jericho goes for the top of the cage but Edge saves again.

He slams the door on Jericho’s ankle. That would freaking hurt. Edge spins the ankle around in a weird move. This is more psychological than anything else. Ok not really but there’s some of it in there. More ankle work. Edge hits a CRAP spear for the pin. Why does the announcer’s voice always crack when he’s saying superstar?

Rating: B. Good match here but not great. If nothing else, this gives Edge the definitive win here. That’s the biggest thing I think. It wasn’t great, but it did its purpose. Solid stuff, but nothing great though. Also, stop the stupid pinning in the cage. It’s just fraeking idiotic. Two men enter, one man leaves. Not two men enter, one keeps the other down for three seconds.

We recap Cena vs. Batista. You know it by now.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Batista

We get the big match intros. Depending on the source you read, this might be Big Dave’s last match. We get some feeling out stuff and then Batista is like screw it I’m getting a chair. Naturally this doesn’t work. When did so many people start using the big boot? FU doesn’t hit and Cena is thrown into the post.

Batista goes for the knee because that strategy always works in these things right? He does that for a good while. Cena gets a reversal into the steps to get Cena back to about even. Batista busts out a freaking figure four. Well you can’t fault him for a lack of psychology. Cena goes into his sequence but Batista hits the floor.

FU onto the chair hits but it gets 8. Wow that’s odd to type. Spinebuster gets 8 for Big Dave. Cena goes thgrough a table and of course that’s not enough. Batista is looking for plundah, perhaps a bicycle, when a kid yells that he hates the Animal. The Animal feels the same way. Cena puts him through the announce table. You can kind of say this is a paint by numbers thing. It’s not but you could say it is. STFU goes on and Big Dave taps, but you can’t win that way.

He’s out but gets up at 9. Nice little throwback (I crack myself up) to Raw two weeks ago. With nothing else left, Cena crotches him on the post and busts out Duct Tape to tie his legs together. Since he isn’t standing, that’s good enough to retain. Or win the title according to the main page.

Rating: B. Solid match but nothing classic. Cena beats Batista again to end the feud and possibly end Batista. This was fine for what it was, which is something I think people need to keep in mind. They weren’t going for a classic showdown here. That was at Mania. This was the violence aspect of it and more about a definitive ending. You have to keep that in mind on matches like these as it’s a huge difference in style and goals.

Overall Rating: B. I thought this was solid. Not great, but solid. Again, you have to keep in mind what you’re looking at here. Just by the name alone, Extreme Rules, you know this isn’t a standard PPV. It was a gimmick show and there’s nothing wrong with that at all. There isn’t a truly bad match all show, with the strap match and I guess the Divas match being the low points.

However you have a surprise ending and hot women. What more do you need? As for the best part of this show, the youth movement continues. Swagger gets a HUGE win over Orton and did it on his own. He countered the RKO, he hit the Bomb, he got the pin. That’s all you need. Also, Punk got the win that the needed in a great match. All of a sudden, he has credibility and momentum all over again. That’s all you need again.

Oh and Sheamus beats the crap out of HHH. Overall, this show did a great job of closing a lot of doors and getting the rest of the ones opened that need to be opened. This was a successful show. I’ll go with that. Oh and one more thing: there was a feeling of you didn’t know what was coming due to the opening of the show. That’s a very important thing there and it worked very well.

Punk/Mysterio and the main event are worth seeing. Everything else is decent enough for a watch later on. This isn’t a great show, but in a few years it would be a great way to kill an afternoon when it’s raining. Good show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $5 at:

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 22, 2013
Location: 02 Arena, London, England
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

This is a taped episode from England, which usually makes for a less interesting show. The main event tonight is HELL NO/Undertaker vs. Shield in a very rare appearance by the Dead Man on the red show. Other than that we’ve got some issues with the roster as there’s a house show in Wales at the same time this was taped, so a lot of people aren’t here tonight. Let’s get to it.

We open with recaps of the issues between Shield and HELL NO/Undertaker and Ryback and Cena.

Here’s Heyman in the ring who says that he’s acting as advocate for Brock Lesnar tonight. Everyone is wondering about what Brock did to 3MB last week but they’re also wondering about Brock’s challenge to HHH. Tonight we’re going to get HHH’s answer…..via e-mail as he’s not here tonight. Heyman talks about how HHH is a coward….and here’s HHH in the arena. Heyman says he got the e-mail but HHH says he was lying about not being here tonight. He says he accepts and there’s a Pedigree to Heyman.

Jericho vs. Ziggler tonight.

R-Truth vs. Antonio Cesaro

Cole shouts WHAT’S UP and kind of dances during the entrance. Cesaro yodels as his humiliating depush continues. Cesaro takes over to start with a forearm to the back of the head and a hard clothesline. The fans start an OLE chant as Cesaro hits a double stomp for two. Truth blocks a kick to the ribs and gets two off a front suplex. Little Jimmy hits a second later for the pin on Antonio at 2:19.

Shield arrives via helicopter. That’s rather awesome.

Damien Sandow vs. Brodus Clay

Sandow takes Brodus to the corner as the fans chant for Cody’s mustache. Brodus comes back with a slam and an elbow drop for two but Sandow hits a kind of Edge-O-Matic and the Wind-Up Elbow for two of his own. Off to a chinlock for a bit but Brodus fights up and hits a corner splash and the t-bone suplex. A Cody distraction lets Sandow roll up Brodus for the pin with a handful of trunks at 3:23.

Rating: D. This was a nothing match as they just went back and forth for a few minutes until we got to the lame ending. That’s likely because the feud and story between these groups is over but it’s continuing because there’s nothing at all to do with any of the guys and they’re locked into these tag teams because the writers can’t think of anything else.

We look at Dolph winning the title again before we see him hitting on the title in the back (I said that correctly). AJ comes up and they make fun of Kaitlyn before sending Langston away so they can make out. Vickie and Brad show up to interrupt and say that if Dolph loses tonight, Jericho is in the title match at the PPV, making it a fatal fourway.

We look at Punk walking out last week.

Shield is here and talks about how no one has made them rest in peace yet but now they’re the judge, jury and executioner.

Chris Jericho vs. Dolph Ziggler

Non-title here. Jericho gets a quick rollup for two and puts on a headlock. Ziggler comes back with a headscissors on the mat but Jericho fights up and hits a quick dropkick. Dolph slides to the floor for a kiss from AJ but Jericho hits a suicide dive to take Ziggler out as we go to a break. Back with Jericho missing a charge into the corner and hitting his head on the post before falling to the floor.

Back in and Ziggler dances around a bit before gyrating his hips. Jericho reverses a neckbreaker into a backslide but gets clotheslined down almost immediately. Off to a reverse chinlock by Ziggler which transitions into a sleeper, only to have Jericho escape and speed things up. A top rope ax handle “connects” but Ziggler avoids the bulldog.

The Walls can’t go on but an enziguri gets two for Jericho. Chris loads up the Lionsault but Big E. pops him in the head, giving Ziggler a near fall. Back to the sleeper by Dolph followed by a jumping DDT for two on Jericho. The fans of course do the Wave because they’re apparently bored by the match. Jericho gets up first and hits a back elbow before getting in on the Wave as well.

The Lionsault hits knees though and the Fameasser gets two on Jericho. Ziggler sends him into the corner and goes up top, only to get crotched and superplexed down for two. The Codebreaker connects for a VERY delayed two as Dolph gets a foot on the rope. Jericho dropkicks Langston down and puts the Liontamer on Ziggler….but here’s Fandango. Well at least his entrance as the fans go NUTS. The distraction lets Dolph hit the Zig Zag for the pin at 16:46.

Rating: B-. Good long match here and it’s nice to see Ziggler get a win over a big name, but not having Fandango show up was a mistake. I know he was on another show tonight, but so was Shield and they’re here. Anyway, not bad for the most part but it’s nothing memorable and they’ve done far better before.

We look at the end of Raw last week with Shield beating down Cena as Ryback watched. Ryback vs. Cena is official for the PPV.

Mick Foley is here and says that it’s human nature for people to look in the mirror and blame someone else, much like Ryback is doing.

Tensai vs. Cody Rhodes

Tensai throws Cody around to start and drops him with a right hand to the face. A delayed double underhook suplex gets two for Tensai but Cody comes back with a neckbreaker and a front facelock. The Disaster Kick gets two and it’s back to the front facelock for a bit. Tensai fights back and pounds away before hitting the rolling cannonball attack in the corner. Sandow gets on the apron for a distraction but gets crushed by Brodus. A Baldo Bomb puts Cody down and the running backsplash gets the pin at 3:34.

Rating: D. This just kept going and going with nothing interesting at all. Again, the feud was over weeks ago but it’s an England show tonight so we need to have the same guys fight even though no one is really interested in seeing it anymore. This is one of those matches that could be cut to get this show down to two hours again.

Bryan is freaking out because Undertaker isn’t here yet and wants Kane to call him. Kane: “He’s not the kind of guy to carry a cell phone.” Bryan wants a hug and to show Undertaker diagrams. Kane: “Whatever you do, DO NOT TRY TO GIVE HIM A HUG!” As they’re talking someone jumps them but we only see one pair of boots.

We look at the main event of Smackdown with Big Show/Henry beating Orton/Sheamus when Show chokeslammed Orton.

Ryback asks Cena how it felt to be jumped by the Shield. Maybe he and Foley should have a discussion in the ring tonight.

Big E. Langston vs. Zack Ryder

This is exactly what you would expect: Ryder gets in a few shots but gets run over with a clothesline. The Big Ending ends this at 1:43.

Undertaker/HELL NO vs. Shield

Surprisingly enough Undertaker comes out first. Shield surrounds him and the fight is on, only to have HELL NO come out for the save. The brawl is on and we take a break before the bell. Bryan and Ambrose start with Dean getting his arm cranked on over and over. Kane comes in and does the same before it’s off to Undertaker to a big pop. Taker works on the arm as well with some driving shoulders before having Old School broken up. Ambrose charges into a boot in the corner and now Old School connects for two more.

Back to Bryan who gets to fight Reigns. After a hard kick in the corner by Daniel it’s off to Kane for an elbow drop for two. Shield finally uses the numbers game to get Kane down in the corner and pound away on him with everyone getting in a shot. Rollins comes in and goes up top, only to jump into an uppercut from Kane. Hot tag brings in Bryan who immediately speeds things up and moonsaults out of the corner.

A clothesline puts Rollins on his knees and there are the NO kicks to the chest and a big one to the head. Rollins is sent to the floor and there’s the suicide dive to take him down. Back in and the missile dropkick puts Rollins into the corner but a running dropkick from Bryan misses. Back with Bryan being hit in the throat by Reigns for two. Off to Rollins as Bryan is in big trouble.

Rollins talks trash so Taker does the throat slit and has a bit of a fit on the apron. Bryan finally gets in a shot on Ambrose and it’s hot tag to Taker. Ambrose gets the Snake Eyes into the big boot and legdrop (brother!) for two. Taker loads up the double chokeslam on Ambrose and Rollins but Reigns spears Taker down for two. Off to Kane for a chokeslam to Ambrose and there’s another hot tag to Bryan. Daniel goes up but gets crotched by Reigns. Bryan still manages to launch the Swan Dive but only hits mat, allowing Ambrose to pin him at 18:58.

Rating: B. Again this was good but it didn’t reach the level that they were shooting for. This was a great moment for Shield though as they get a win over Undertaker which is a big name to add to their list. Odds are they take the tag belts off HELL NO at Extreme Rules, which puts the company in a bind unless they do a triple threat to get the belts off Shield. Anyway, good match here.

Foley is with Cena and says he’s going out there tonight to confront Ryback. Cena gives him a chair to take with him just in case.

Fandango vs. William Regal

BIG ovation for both guys here. Regal signals for the dancing girl to call him. We start with a dance off and Regal takes over with some hard forearms to the face. They trade right hands but Fandango hits a quick Downward Spiral for the pin at 1:43. The dancing girl might be Summer Rae from NXT.

Post match Jericho jumps Fandango and dances with the girl.

Divas Battle Royal

AJ vs. Aksana vs. Naomi vs. Tamina Snuka vs. Layla

Kaitlyn is at ringside and the winner of this gets a title shot. The Bellas have been disqualified from this because of the Twin Magic last week. Tamina immediately superkicks AJ dow and she’s out cold. Naomi and Layla clean house as AJ lays on the mat. Aksana is eliminated and Naomi hits a Rear View on Tamina. Snuka eliminates Naomi from the apron but Layla dropkicks her to the floor. It’s Layla and AJ left but AJ is still out cold. Layla tries to lift the dead weight that is AJ but she pops up and kicks Layla out to win at 3:19.

Rating: N. As in next, because I don’t care about this at all and neither did the audience.

Trailer for No One Lives, which is the latest WE Film staring Brodus Clay. By starring they likely mean featuring for about 18 seconds.

Here’s Foley to call out Ryback. After the cheap pop here’s the monster, now with a skull cap which makes him edgy I guess. Foley talks about how it used to be him standing against every monster and getting back up, but now he can’t do that anymore. Foley shows Ryback the Shield beatdown of Cena last week in case he didn’t see it in any of the three other times it’s aired tonight. Ryback says he loved it so Foley wants to know what happened to the Ryback that debuted last year.

Foley says that it’s inevitable that Ryback is going to be WWE Champion someday and he doesn’t want it to be on a technicality. Ryback goes off on Foley for coming out here year after year and sticking his nose in everyone else’s business when no one wants to hear it. Ryback knows what he’s doing and he doesn’t care about anyone anymore and only wants the title.

Foley pulls the chair back and Ryback slaps him before throwing the chair out. Cena runs out for the save…..and here’s Shield. Cena immediately gets on the apron and Shield goes after Ryback, but Cena makes the save with a chair. They stare each other down and Cena hits the AA to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. The two feature matches delivered so that’s more than enough to give it a good grade, but, say it with me, the extra hour drags it down. The stuff like the Divas battle royal and the Tons of Funk/Rhodes Scholars stuff just dragged the show down because they were clearly there just to fill in five minutes each.

That’s the problem with Raw and WWE in general anymore: there’s good stuff in there, but by the time you get to it you’re so exhausted by the other stuff that it loses its appeal. The lack of the extra guys helped a lot though as they didn’t have to pack in so much stuff tonight, meaning stuff got more time. In other words, the Brand Split would have helped this show a lot.

Results

R-Truth b. Antonio Cesaro – Little Jimmy

Damien Sandow b. Brodus Clay – Rollup

Dolph Ziggler b. Chris Jericho – Zig Zag

Tensai b. Cody Rhodes – Backsplash

Big E. Langston b. Zack Ryder – Big Ending

Shield b. Undertaker/HELL NO – Ambrose pinned Bryan after a missed flying headbutt

Fandango b. William Regal – Downward Spiral

AJ won a battle royal by last eliminating Layla

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $5 at:

 

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 21, 2008
Location: BI-LO Center, Greenville, South Carolina
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is another request and since it’s taking forever to download some TNA shows, I figured I might as well knock some of these off in the meantime. This is the King of the Ring tournament so it’s a three hour special. Almost everything you have here is a tournament match, plus an eight man tag and a REALLY stupid other match. Let’s get to it.

Theme song gets us going. It’s still Papa Roach.

We open with Lillian telling us that the tournament is back tonight.

King of the Ring First Round: Chris Jericho vs. MVP

Jericho is IC Champion and MVP is US Champion. There’s no bracket yet and even JR and Lawler haven’t seen them. I don’t mind a champion losing so much here as one of them gets to look stronger. This is also the go home show for Backlash, which is a show I haven’t done yet. MVP takes him to the mat to start but Jericho comes back with some knees to the head and a kick to the same area.

MVP punches him in the corner as this is off to a hot start. Jericho drapes him over the top rope and mostly misses a baseball slide to the floor. MVP catches him coming back in with a knee lift and a kind of clothesline for two. He hooks kind of a modified abdominal stretch on the mat but Jericho gets up pretty quickly. Overhead belly to belly puts Jericho down for two. They do the Flair bridge up into a backslide spot which gets a good reaction in Horsemen country. Big boot gets two for MVP. Jericho comes back with a clothesline but the Lionsault misses. Play of the Day is countered into the Walls and Jericho advances.

Rating: C. Very basic match here but with a one night tournament you have to keep things that way. Again I don’t mind MVP losing clean here because it was to another champion and on top of that he would drop the title on Sunday anyway. Not much to see here but it was fine all things considered.

Jericho sits on the throne post match.

King of the Ring First Round: CM Punk vs. Matt Hardy

Punk has the MITB case. Feeling out process to start but it turns into a strike off, won by Punk. He takes Matt down for two and hooks a quick chinlock. Matt comes back with some headbutts and drives an elbow into Punk’s back off the middle rope. Matt’s bulldog is countered into the clothesline and bulldog out of the corner for two. Punk’s springboard clothesline is caught in the Side Effect for two. Twist of Fate is countered into a GTS which is countered into a sunset flip which is countered by Punk sitting on Hardy for the pin. Nice ending.

Rating: C+. Another short match here but this one was a little more fun than the previous one. The ending was pretty quick and that’s a good thing as it was certainly entertaining for a four minute match. Punk was on a roll at this point and he would win the world title in about two months. Matt would get the US Title on Sunday.

All we have as far as a bracket is Jericho vs. Punk in the semi-finals.

Tonight it’s Barack Obama vs. Hilary Clinton. That’s the really stupid match I warned you about. We see it in Smackdown vs. Raw 2008 for a preview.

We get a clip from Raw last week of HHH vs. JBL when Orton ran in and HHH got double teamed. The fatal fourway on Sunday (those three plus Cena) is now an elimination match.

JBL says this Sunday he’ll take his place on top of the WWE. He was in the New York Times today.

King of the Ring First Round: Finlay vs. Great Khali

Khali is having issues with Big Show around this time. Horny is at ringside of course. Finlay charges at Khali but gets shoved down almost immediately. Khali shoves him down but misses a legdrop. Finlay pounds away but Khali shrugs him off and sends him to the corner. Horny comes in with the club but Finlay saves him. The chop puts Finlay down and Khali wraps Finlay’s leg around the post…..for a DQ? Apparently so. Too short to rate but this was nothing of note.

Big Show comes out but Khali won’t go for him until Sunday.

Finlay is helped out because of the knee attack.

King of the Ring First Round: William Regal vs. Hornswoggle

Twenty seconds, Regal Stretch. Finlay comes in to help but Regal beats him down and attacks the knee. Regal is GM at this point so shenanigans seem to be up.

The brackets are set for the semi-finals:

Jericho
Punk

Finlay
Regal

Video on the annual post Wrestlemania European tour.

Here’s Shawn for a little chat. Apparently Batista isn’t happy about Shawn retiring Flair at Wrestlemania so Shawn wants to talk about it right now. They have a match on Sunday with Jericho as referee for no apparent reason, although it would set up a six month feud between Shawn and Jericho. Here’s Batista and Shawn if Batista wanted to face Flair at Mania, which is what Jericho suggested on Smackdown.

Batista asks if that would make Shawn feel better. This isn’t about Flair anymore, but rather about Big Dave and Shawn. He respects where Shawn is, but not how he got there. He’ll finish this with Shawn at Backlash. Shawn appreciates the honesty but he’s everything Batista says he is. Whether Dave likes it or not, Shawn is Mr. Wrestlemania and there definitely is blood on his hands. Batista is going to need luck on Sunday. Shawn goes to leave but Batista spins him back around. Shawn gets into superkick position but Batista just walks past him and leaves.

Hilary Clinton gives the kind of promo/speech that a famous person gives when they talk to a wrestling audience that they don’t understand. This one isn’t terrible though as she mainly talks about how she’ll fight for America and lists some of her issues. It’s very corny, but I’ll give them points for at least talking like this. Obama and McCain will talk later.

Hardcore Holly vs. Carlito

Just….why? Oh this is something to do with the tag titles. Holly and Rhodes are champions coming into this. Carlito has his partner Santino with him. Feeling out process to start with Holly mainly in control. Carlito comes back with a backbreaker for two. Off to a chinlock which doesn’t last long. Carlito works on the back some more but misses a charge. Holly makes his comeback with clotheslines and the dropkick but his back gives out. He loads up the Alabama Slam but his back gives out again. Backstabber gets the pin.

Rating: D. This wasn’t much. This would presumably set up the match on Sunday but it didn’t happen for some reason. Then again, no one cared at all about the tag titles so it’s not like anyone cared. This was really just a breather to allow everyone to transition from the first half of the show to the second.

HHH says he’ll win.

King of the Ring Semi-Finals: Chris Jericho vs. CM Punk

Both guys are tentative to start but both get quick twos. The first big move is Jericho draping him over the top rope out of a suplex. Punk tries a springboard but Jericho kicks his legs out and Punk is in trouble. Jericho tries a hammerlock but Punk takes his head off with a clothesline for two. They trade rollups like at the end of Punk’s other match but no one gets a pin. Walls are countered into a rollup for two.

Jericho hits an enziguri for two and this is getting good. Punk snaps off a powerslam for two. GTS is countered into the bulldog and Jericho loads up the Lionsault. It looks strange as Jericho tried to land on all fours because Punk had his knees up. Either way he stopped himself and hooks the Walls but Punk makes a rope. Jericho goes up but Punk high kicks him down. He puts Jericho on his shoulders and the GTS sends Punk to the finals clean.

Rating: B-. These two always work well together and this was no exception. Punk got a win here which made him look a lot stronger, which is what someone like Jericho is great at. Even four years later Jericho is still putting people over but it still means something, which is a great sign for a veteran like him.

Senator Obama gives a very corny speech, concluding with “do you smell what the Barack is cooking.” Just….no.

King of the Ring Semi-Finals: William Regal vs. Finlay

Finlay has the bad knee coming in. Regal circles him to start but gets monkey flipped to the floor. Regal sends him into the steps and he hits knee first. Back in the ring and it’s time for a slugout. Regal goes shoulder first into the post for two. Finlay tries a fireman’s carry but the knee gives out. Back to the forearms and a rollup gets two. Regal hits him in the head with a knee and puts on the Regal Stretch. Finlay passes out to send Regal to the finals.

Rating: C. These two always have good matches as they’re always physical. The more I see of Finlay the more I appreciate him as he was really good at stuff like this. There was nothing for him to lose out there and he was going to be adequate at worst no matter who you put him out there with. Good stuff but short.

McCain uses a lot of wrestling lines and says go vote.

We run down the card for Backlash.

Cena says that you’ve heard everyone talk tonight and he has as good a chance as anyone else, but the advantage he has is he doesn’t have to go through himself.

Let’s get this over with.

Hilary Clinton vs. Barack Obama

There’s a Bill impersonator with Hilary, who comes out to Real American. No one reacts AT ALL. Obama comes out to Rock’s theme and I guess is the face in this. They’re impersonators in case you didn’t get that. It’s so weird seeing and hearing people not care at all about Hogan’s music. I mean there’s NOTHING. This is one of those times I feel ashamed about being a wrestling fan. They both cut promos on each other and Hilary’s is far better, as she’s played by a chick from SHIMMER. The fans still don’t care.

Is this supposed to be funny? Are we supposed to be this stupid to find this entertaining? Rock’s theme gets ZERO reaction either and Obama has huge ears. King gets the only funny line of this by saying that if Obama were facing Mike Tyson in this it would be a buffet. They have a “match” which isn’t completely terrible as both are played by wrestlers. Obama hits a Rock Bottom but Bill breaks up the People’s Elbow. Cue Umaga for a Spike to Obama and a Samoan Drop to Hilary. Bill runs away. This got TEN MINUTES.

Here are a bunch of face Divas to introduce the new Women’s Champion Mickie James. She beat Beth who was considered unbeatable so it was a big upset. It still amazes me how much more interesting the Divas were just a few years ago. Mickie thanks the other girls but gets cut off by Beth and some other evil girls. Remember when there were twelve Divas that could be in one segment and could all have at least a passable match? Beth says it’s not if she’ll win the title back, but when she’ll win it back. Michelle slaps Beth and the brawl is on.

Mr. Kennedy is coming back.

King of the Ring Finals: William Regal vs. CM Punk

Punk comes in with bad ribs because of the matches earlier. Regal is basically in his second match after the Horny match and beating an injured Finlay. Punk starts off fast with some kicks in the corner. He tries the bulldog but gets suplexed down and it’s off to a bow and arrow hold. Punk fights up from that and hits a spinning kick to the knee.

Regal grabs the arms and forces him right back down to the mat as is his custom. The idea is that it’s strikes vs. grapples which is about as natural as you’re going to get with these two. Punk fights up again and hits a BIG kick to the head to stagger Regal. Spinning backfist sets up the high kick for two. That sounded great. Punk loads up the GTS but Regal grabs the rope. He escapes and hits the knee trembler, followed by the Stretch. Punk hangs on for almost thirty seconds but finally has to tap to give Regal the tournament.

Rating: C-. This was too short to mean much but it gave Regal some more psychosis to work with which was a really entertaining time. Then it just stopped cold because it was getting too good and that’s how WWE works. Punk giving up because of the rib injury is ok because Regal didn’t win fairly (coming in at a big advantage), which is fine.

Regal’s psycho look while he sits on the throne is still great.

Here’s Orton for the main event but first he brags about how awesome he is and how his title reign will continue after Sunday.

Randy Orton/Edge/Chavo Guerrero/John Bradshaw Layfield vs. John Cena/HHH/Kane/The Undertaker

Orton is Raw champion, Edge is challenging Taker on Sunday, Chavo is challenging Kane, JBL is challenging Orton, Cena is challenging Orton, HHH is challenging Orton, Kane is ECW Champion, Undertaker is Smackdown champion. Now that’s a packed main event. How out of place does Chavo look here though? After the entrances take forever to get through we’re ready to go. Seriously, there were ten minutes spent on entrances PLUS a commercial. That’s ridiculous.

Taker and Orton look to start but Edge jumps Taker in a surprise. This goes badly for the Canadian as a big clothesline puts him down. Old School hits (hasn’t that been called old longer than it wasn’t called old?) and we take a break after 40 seconds. Back with Chavo tagging Edge in to work over a downed HHH. The spear is countered into a spinebuster and there’s the tag to Cena.

He starts his finishing sequence very quickly on Edge but Chavo low bridges him on the Shuffle attempt. JBL throws him back in clean which shocks Jerry. Off to Orton who does nothing so it’s JBL again. Russian legsweep gets two as does a clothesline. Edge comes in and the Cena chants begin. Edge gets a big boot and it’s off to Orton for a chinlock. Cena stands up but it’s a double clothesline and both guys are down.

The tags are made to Chavo and Kane with the Big Bald cleaning house. All of the evil team goes down and a side slam puts Chavo down. The top rope clothesline mostly gets shoulder and everything breaks down. Chavo counters a slam attempt into a DDT but as he goes for the Frog Splash Kane chokeslams him down. Out of nowhere though Edge spears Kane for the pin.

Rating: C. It’s a main event tag match and that’s about it. They covered almost everything and they had the most secure winner at the PPV (Kane) take the fall which is a good thing. Not a bad match but it’s just a way to throw everyone into the main event at once, which is fine for building up the PPV main events.

Edge takes an FU post match, HHH takes the Clothesline, RKO to HHH and a double chokeslam to JBL and Orton. Undertaker stands tall to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. This was a really entertaining show that went by fast. I’d have liked to see some better wrestling in there but the matches had to be fast due to the tournament. I’m glad they didn’t go to any double eliminations as in an eight man tournament that’s kind of excessive. Good show though and I want to watch Backlash now so that’s a great sign. Good stuff.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $5:

Backlash 2004
Date: April 18, 2004
Location: Rexall Place, Edmonton, Alberta, Canada
Attendance: 13,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re back to the PPV series again and this time it’s Backlash in Canada. The main event is a rematch of the main event of Wrestlemania XX with Benoit defending his newly won title against Shawn and HHH. The original is said to be the best triple threat match ever and a lot of the time the Backlash rematches are even better due to the lack of pressure from Wrestlemania. We’re also in Benoit’s hometown so if he was the favorite in MSG, this is going to be about 10x louder. There’s also a hardcore match between Cactus Jack and Randy Orton which is awesome. Let’s get to it.

We open with a video about Benoit winning the title at Wrestlemania, as if it could be anything else. The tagline of “and so it begins again” is nice as it’s a play off of the Wrestlemania tagline of “Where It All Begins Again.”

Shelton Benjamin vs. Ric Flair

Flair is still in Evolution and Shelton is the hot young singles star looking to make a name for himself. He beat HHH twice in a row, once by pin and once by countout. Flair is here to avenge The Game. Shelton takes him into the corner but Flair comes back with his chops and punches. The Stinger Splash misses but Shelton lands on the top rope and gets down unharmed. Benjamin speeds things up and dropkicks Flair to the floor.

Nothing happens out there so we head back in for a thumb to the eye. Flair goes up and you know how that ends. Another thumb to the eye lets Flair take over but Shelton will have none of that and pounds away on Flair’s old head in the corner. Flair takes the knee out and the momentum shifts very fast. He doesn’t work on it long and it’s time for the Figure Four. Shelton blocks it for a bit but the leg goes down and the hold goes on.

Flair uses the rope to cheat so the hold is broken. A chop gets two. Flair goes back to the knee but gets caught by the Dragon Whip kick to put both guys down. Shelton whips him into the corner and Flair crashes over the top and out to the floor. Flair pulls out a weapon of some sort but gets splashed in the corner. A top rope clothesline pins the Nature Boy.

Rating: C+. This was fine for an opener. Shelton was a rising star at this point and a win over Flair wasn’t going to hurt anything. He would get the IC Title by the end of the year and he would become the next big star that never became a big star for various reasons. Still though, good stuff here and fine for an opening match which got the crowd going.

Orton says Shelton is overrated and we should talk about Randy’s winning streak instead. Why aren’t people talking about him holding the IC Title longer than anyone in seven years? He’s beaten legend after legend and tonight it’s Mick Foley’s turn. Mick is like an old dog that has to be put down.

Jonathan Coachman vs. Tajiri

You read that right. Tajiri misted Coach a few weeks ago, then Coach cost Tajiri a match against Christian. Coach armdrags him down to start and Tajiri isn’t sure what to make of that. Coach keeps trying to tie him up but Tajiri keeps firing away kicks. They go to the floor and Tajiri kicks the post to change the flow of the match. Back in and Coach cannonballs down onto the leg and Tajiri is in trouble. Coach hooks a leg bar but Tajiri reverses into a kind of half crab which is pretty quickly broken up.

The leg bar goes on again so Tajiri kicks him in the back. Another to the face and the hold is finally broken up. Coach goes up and gets crotched, allowing a baseball slide dropkick to the back of the head to connect. Handspring elbow sets up another dropkick and it’s rapid fire strike time. Coach grabs a cheating rollup for two. Like an idiot, Coach charges at Tajiri in the corner and is put in the Tarantula for his efforts. Garrison Cage comes out and distracts Tajiri for no apparent reason and Coach rolls him up for the pin.

Rating: D+. You know, this wasn’t half bad. There’s no reason for it to be on PPV, but the match wasn’t all that bad. Coach kept it simple by going after the legs which is the best thing to do against a martial artist so I can’t fault him there. The ending was stupid but this was such a big surprise that it wasn’t a big deal.

HHH arrived earlier.

We recap Jericho vs. Christian/Trish which was an awesome storyline. It started with Jericho hitting on Trish which turned out to be a bet between Jericho and Christian about whether or not he could get Trish in bed. Trish found out about it but Jericho said that he really loved Trish, which seemed legit. Christian turned on Jericho in a show of tough love and they had a match at Mania. Trish turned on Jericho to give Christian the win. Tonight it’s about revenge.

Christian/Trish Stratus vs. Chris Jericho

Evil Trish was HOT. Jericho slaps Christian down and glares at Trish who runs. The chase is on but Christian’s sneak attack is broken up with ease. The evil ones have to tag here so the guys start. Jericho hits a vertical suplex and the posing cover (POP) for two. The crowd keeps chanting SL** at Trish and Christian missees a charge to send him to the floor. The springboard dropkick puts Christian on the floor and Jericho stands tall.

Trish can’t sneak in a Chick Kick and the guys head back in for a top rope back elbow by Jericho, getting two. Jericho gets sent into Trish but gets draped over the top forp to give Christian control. He does the same thing over the barricade and it’s off to Trish. She slaps Jericho and gives us a great cleavage shot at the same time. Chick Kick gets no cover so it’s back to Captain Charisma. A quick Walls attempt is countered but Jericho’s head winds up between Christian’s legs ala Sting.

Jericho comes back with the sleeper drop for two. Trish slaps Jericho, allowing for an elevated reverse DDT out of the corner by Christian which gets two. Trish tries to come in but gets spanked for her troubles. That’s a lucky Jericho. Christian hits the Unprettier out of nowhere but Trish’s cover only gets two.

Trish tries to come back in but gets clotheslined down. Christian takes Jericho down and now only the referee is on his feet. Trish rolls to the floor and Jericho hits the running hip attack while Christian is in 619 position. Lionsault gets knees and Christian puts on a Texas Cloverleaf. Jericho escapes and tries the Walls but instead he catapults Christian into Trish. The running enziguri gets the pin on Christian.

Rating: B-. Another good match here and it evens the score in this feud as it was supposed to do. This was a very well constructed feud and it made sense all the way through. This would lead to a cage match on Raw where Christian would be hurt, putting him on the shelf for four months. Again I’d like to reiterate: evil Trish is HOT.

Eugene has a magazine and wanders into the women’s locker room where Gail freaks out. Regal gets him out.

We get a video about Chris Benoit Day in Edmonton which I think was on Hard Knocks. Benoit’s family is here. This is kind of hard to see now.

Women’s Title: Victoria vs. Lita

Victoria is champion and is looking good here. Lita tries to speed things up to start but gets thrown to the mat with a kind of armdrag. They both tumble out to the floor which goes nowhere. A bad looking backslide gets two for Victoria. They do a pinfall reversal sequence which goes nowhere. Victoria slams her down and hits her dancing moonsault for two followed by a chinlock. A floatover snap suplex gets two for the champ.

This has been a really slow paced and dull match so far. A surfboard goes on and Lita is in even more trouble. The spinning side slam is countered and Lita knocks her down with some clotheslines. Lita hooks a hurricanrana and then puts on a sleeper which transitions into a kind of triangle choke. That gets escaped pretty easily and the spinning side slam gets two. Victoria’s moonsault misses (as in Lita rolled too slowly and the arms hit her) but the Twist of Fate is countered and a small package retains the title.

Rating: F+. This was one of the worst matches I can remember with the girls in a long time. It was REALLY slow paced and the botches were noticeably bad. The division was in big need of something fresh, which is why we got Lita vs. Trish again, as both of them were just awesome at what they did. Horrible match.

Gail and Molly beat down the other girls post match.

We recap Orton vs. Foley. The idea here is that Orton is young and awesome and Foley is old and not so awesome. Orton was the Legend Killer and Orton wanted to take him out to prove that it was his time now. Foley didn’t want to fight and walked away for months, before returning at the Rumble to destroy Orton. Evolution helped Orton out so Foley brought in The Rock to even things up a bit. Evolution won at Wrestlemania so now Foley wants a rematch on his terms: hardcore. Foley says that hardcore is about doing it for the fans, but there’s a tiny part of him that enjoys this. He’s going to love what he does to Orton tonight.

Intercontinental Title: Cactus Jack vs. Randy Orton

Hardcore of course. Foley comes out as Mick Foley and has the Mankind music, but screw that. He’s in Cactus Jack attire and this is a hardcore match. He has the barbed wire ball bat called Barbie with him. Orton holds up a trashcan to defend himself but Foley knocks it out of his hands with the bat. They go to the floor and there goes a cameraman. Orton drop toeholds him into the steps and gets the bat but they fight over it.

Orton gets kicked away but he finds a trashcan from somewhere and cleans Mick’s clock with it. Mick shrugs that off and BLASTS Orton with it. Back in the ring and Foley hits the running knee lift followed by a legdrop for two. Back to the floor again and Jack hits a swinging neckbreaker but Orton moves before the middle rope elbow can be used. Randy, who is still in his t-shirt, tries to walk away but Foley chases after him. A belly to back suplex by the champion gets two on the ramp, as does a backslide.

Randy slams Jack’s head into the ramp with a THUD for two. Back in the ring (I’ve been saying variations of that a lot tonight) and Orton tries to drive Barbie into Jack’s face, but Cactus counters with a low blow. Here’s Socko but Foley isn’t sure whether to use that or Barbie. He takes the sock off and Barbie connects with Orton’s head. Blood is literally flowing down Orton’s face. Another shot hits Orton’s head and Foley is in complete control.

Mick pounds Orton down in the corner and hits the running knee to the face. Back to Barbie as Mick has that look in his eyes. Now he just drives the bat into Orton’s face and there goes the t-shirt. Foley puts the bat between Orton’s legs and drops a leg on it which is just painful in a lot of ways. Mick goes to the floor and pulls out…..oh geez he pulls out a gas can and a lighter.

He covers Barbie in gas but here’s Bischoff to say do that and the show ends here. Foley throws it down and for the life of me I have never gotten what the point of that sequence was unless it was somehow legit. Either way, Foley throws it down and finds a whole board covered in barbed wire. He knocks Orton near it but Orton comes back with a slam onto the board, drawing a LOUD holy chant from the fans.

The board gets placed in the corner and after some nice reversals on the Irish whip, Foley goes into it face first. With Jack down in the ropes, Orton shoves the board down onto him in a simple but good move. Orton finds a bag full of thumbtacks. The RKO onto them is countered and the look on Orton’s face when his back hits the tacks is PERFECT. A rollup gets two for Foley as Orton goes to look for medical attention. Jack will have none of that and they go up the ramp.

They head backstage but come back before we can get a camera back there. Foley throws him off the stage and through a bunch of tables. Since it’s Cactus Jack, you know he’s gonna drop the elbow onto Orton on top of that. After the referees seem ready to stop it, Foley drills them both and there’s the elbow. Mick is a bit too dead to cover though so after the delay, Orton SOMEHOW kicks out.

Back to the ring and Orton looks completely out of it. Double Arm DDT gets two and Foley isn’t sure what else he can do to pull this off. Orton goes to the floor while Foley puts the barbed wire board up in the corner. While he’s doing that though Orton gets Barbie from somewhere and lays in a few shots on Cactus. Foley finds Socko and grabs the Claw to stop a big shot to the head with Barbie. A low blow gets Orton out of the hold and the RKO puts Foley down but it only gets two. Another RKO onto Barbie FINALLY gets the pin.

Rating: A. It’s not quite as good as the match with Edge but DANG this was great. Orton is now a made man as he somehow not only survived this but he won it. Up to this point he was a pretty boy, much like HHH vs. Jack in 2000 at the Rumble. That seems to be what they were going for here and for the most part I’d certainly say it worked. Foley would go away for awhile while Orton feuded with Edge and then won the title in the fall. Great match here and Orton looked great during the whole thing.

HHH says that Orton has become a legend rather than a legend killer. Also Benoit won’t get lucky again tonight and HHH will get his title back.

La Resistance vs. Hurricane/Rosey

This is what we call a filler match to bring the crowd back down. It isn’t even for a title. Conway and Hurricane start and the crowd goes almost completely silent. A headscissors takes Conway down and it’s off to Rosey. That’s really only so he can throw at Conway and it’s back to the storm guy.

Conway hits a swinging neckbreaker and powerslam before tagging in Grenier. Grenier puts on a powerslam and here’s Eugene. Hurricane tags Rosey as Eugene plays with the flags. Rosey misses a corner splash but Hurricane dives on both French dudes on the floor. Eugene runs the ropes but does nothing else. Eye of the Huricane gets the pin on Grenier.

Rating: D+. The match could have and probably should have been on Raw, but dang I always feel sorry for the people in this match. They know no one is really interested in seeing them out there but they have to go out and work a match anyway, which no one wants to see and that no one is going to talk about, but they do it anyway. This was fine and Eugene didn’t add or subtract anything.

We recap Edge vs. Kane. Edge is back from neck surgery and needs an opponent, so he gets Kane, end of recap.

Edge vs. Kane

Edge has a broken wrist or arm or something too. Edge fires off a right hand (the good hand) for no effect. He gets Kane into the corner as JR is talking about football for some reason. Middle rope clothesline looks to set up the spear but Kane heads to the outside. Kane finally wakes up and rams the bad arm and hand into the steps to take over.

Back in and he hammers on the hand some more as the fans chant that Hebner screwed Bret for the millionth time in this match alone. Lawler amuses himself by singing the Mountie’s song Sidewalk slam sets up a missed elbow and Edge comes back with a spinwheel kick. He takes Kane down again but Kane sits up. The referee is sent to the floor so a cast shot to the head and a spear get the pin.

Rating: D-. What a horribly uninteresting match. Edge didn’t get out of the funk that he was in for the better part of a year and Kane had to marry Lita to get anything going. I didn’t like this at all and I don’t think many other people did either. Let’s go with this: Tajiri vs. Coach was a much more entertaining match. Let that sink in for a minute.

We recap the main event, which is just a rematch from Wrestlemania but here in Benoit’s hometown. It should be entertaining at least and there isn’t much else to say.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Benoit

Benoit’s pop is INSANE. He puts the title in both of their faces during his entrance which is a nice touch. The champ goes after HHH to start and doesn’t want Shawn to get any of the Game for some reason. HHH is sent to the floor so Shawn and Benoit can chop it out. The Game comes back in and hits the flying knee to Shawn. Benoit is thrown to the floor and it’s the DX explosion. After a quick fight they knock Benoit back to the floor, drawing a ton of booing.

Benoit comes back in and hits Germans on both guys. Jerry says it’s hard to see who is doing what to who. No not really King, not really. Shawn gets flipped in the corner and out to the floor to get it back down to two. HHH jumps into the Crossface but Benoit lets it go to stop Shawn. Shawn’s back is rammed into the barricade twice to keep him down on the outside. Benoit goes up but HHH punches him in the jaw to slow him down.

HHH loads up a superplex but Shawn makes the save. Benoit literally falls off the top rope all the way to the floor. That’s a much scarier sight given what we know now. Shawn drops HHH in an electric chair for two. HHH comes back with a facebuster and Benoit’s Swan Dive gets two on HBK. The Game goes to the floor and Shawn’s forearm takes out the referee. Shawn goes to the floor now so we get both a Pedigree and Sharpshooter counter. The second attempt at the Sharpshooter works on HHH but Shawn makes the save. His save is countered into the Crossface but there’s no referee, so we better let go of the hold right?

Now Shawn puts the Sharpshooter on Benoit and Earl Hebner comes out to be the second referee. Ha Ha Ha it’s like Montreal yes WE GET IT ALREADY! Shawn swings at Benoit but gets caught in the Crossface again, only to have it broken up by HHH. A HHH DDT gets two on the champion. Benoit throws him over the corner and it’s back to HBK vs. Benoit. Chris gets thrown to the floor, landing on top of HHH.

Shawn tries to dive on the both of them but crashes through the table in a good explosion. Back in the ring Benoit’s shoulder goes hard into the post and then it does it a second time. Instead of going after the arm, the Cerebral Assassin puts on a camel clutch. The fans FINALLY drop the Bret stuff and chant for Benoit. HHH pounds away in the corner but gets caught in snake eyes to put him down.

It’s basically a one on one match at the moment. Benoit ducks a right hand and puts on Rolling Germans. The Swan Dive misses and there’s a Pedigree but HHH’s cover takes awhile, allowing Shawn to come back from the dead for the save. With Benoit down, Shawn hits the forearm to put HHH down. The top rope elbow hits but again Shawn can’t cover. Shawn loads up the superkick but instead kicks Benoit off the apron to make him PURE EVIL in Canada.

HHH hits a low blow for two on Shawn and everyone is down. Pedigree is countered by a backdrop to the floor but the fans won’t cheer Shawn period. HHH comes back in with the sledgehammer, drilling it right into Shawn’s back. HHH sets for another hammer shot to Shawn but Benoit makes the save, only to get sent into the steps. The Game sets for a Pedigree onto the steps but Benoit counters with a slingshot to send that nose into the post. Back in, Chin Music is countered into the Sharpshooter and after a LONG time, it’s finally over with Benoit retaining by submission.

Rating: B+. I really couldn’t get into this one as much as the other one. There was a lot more laying around this time, but this was a different kind of match. This was all about having a Benoit showcase instead of having a masterpiece. Considering the situations here, it’s hard to argue with them going that route. It worked well enough here though and it was a great match.

Overall Rating: B. With two very good to great matches here, the rest of the stuff can be overlooked. This was a very Canadian heavy show which is the right idea as, you know, it was in Canada. Unfortunately Benoit would fall through the floor after this because HHH and Shawn decided to completely dominate the show for the summer, having a 55 minute match at Bad Blood. You know, because that’s what people are begging for here clearly. This was a show with great parts, rather than a great show if that makes sense, but it’s still good.

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It’s a lack of adapting.Last year, Cena vs. Lesnar was arguably the match of the year.  Why was it so awesome you ask?  It was because the match was DIFFERENT.  It was Brock Lesnar massacring Cena in a style that we hadn’t seen in years.  That was a fight rather than a match and the people bought into it in a big way.

 

Flash forward to Summerslam and Wrestlemania.  Yeah the matches between HHH and Lesnar were intense, but they were nothing we hadn’t seen before.  HHH treated Lesnar like any other monster with the same classic formula: monster hurts face, face loses first match, face comes back to win rematch.  The problem with that is Brock Lesnar is not just any other heel.  He’s a special attraction and capable of so much more, but instead he’s being used to make HHH look good.  Think about it: even if Lesnar DESTROYS HHH in the cage match at Extreme Rules, which match are people going to remember more?  That one or the match from Wrestlemania?

 

After Extreme Rules, Lesnar will have been back for 13 months.  12 of them will have been spent making the boss of the company look good.  That’s just bad booking all around.

Taboo Tuesday 2004
Date: October 19, 2004
Location: Bradley Center, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Attendance: 3,500
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

Well here we are. It’s Raw only here so of course HHH is world champion. His opponent tonight is one of the options: Benoit, Edge or HBK, with the losers getting a tag title shot. The other main event is Flair vs. Orton where it’s either a cage, submissions or falls count anywhere. Flair here goes 12 years between main eventing PPVs which is an impressive feat. Other than that this is a fairly weak time for the company as we’re waiting on Cena and Batista to break through the ceiling but that wouldn’t be for another 7 months or so. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about the fans getting to pick things tonight and the wrestlers having next to no control of any of this. This should have always been a three hour Raw supershow instead of on PPV.

The arena is like EMPTY, with the upper half and even middle deck mostly tarped off.

Coach is MC tonight and we’re ready to go. We start with picking what the Divas will wear in the Fulfill Your Fantasy Battle Royal. They’re standing on a huge keyboard which is a nice touch. The options are nurses, French maids or schoolgirls.

Nurses – 17%
Maids – 30%
Schoolgirls – 53%

That’s for later though. The first match we’re going to see is for the IC Title. The winner gets Jericho and I’m not listing 15 people and 15 percentages. Ten of them are bottom of the card guys (Rodney Mack, Rosey etc). We’ll go with the top 3 instead. Coach lists off all 15 just to fill in time. Val Venis was supposed to be in this but was injured so Coach is in it instead.

Shelton Benjamin – 37%
Batista – 20%
Coach – 7%

According to Wiki, the next closest was Christian, but this was a total landslide.

Intercontinental Title: Shelton Benjamin vs. Chris Jericho

This was just after Shelton had come to Raw and beaten HHH in three matches but got hurt. This is his big return. Jericho gets backdropped over the top and might have hurt his back. He was in a big funk at this point as he had no direction whatsoever. He also had the medium length hair and it looked horrible. Running enziguri gets two and the Canadian takes over.

He works on the back as there’s not a lot of direction to this at all. The crowd being painfully small isn’t helping much either, but that could have something to do with the show being on a Tuesday night. Both guys work on the others’ back with Jericho hitting a backbreaker and Benjamin hitting a top rope suplex. I love the Dragon Whip. Lawler suggests that if the bookers had anything to do with it then this match may never have happened.

Lionsault misses but he actually crashes on it in a thing I’m not used to doing. Shelton hits a nice diving clothesline off the top but the Stinger Splash misses. This is getting better but the crowd doesn’t seem to care. Lionsault hits this time but of course it only gets two. Jericho goes up but jumps into the T-Bone to give Shelton the title. Ross and Lawler seem to be the most excited though. So much for that idea. Is there anyone Jericho won’t put over? Shelton would hold the title until June which is the longest title reign since Rock in 97.

Rating: B-. Pretty good match here as Jericho wasn’t prepared for Shelton so he had to do his usual stuff which didn’t work because Shelton knew what to prepare for. The crowd is pretty weak here and it’s not a good sign for the rest of the show. This was a good push for Shelton, even though nothing really ever came of it as he has more untapped potential than anyone in a long time.

Edge says he should get the shot because it’s fair.

Benoit says he’s tired of HHH and Evolution and he’ll stop them.

Shawn says he’ll give whatever he has left if picked.

Benoit – 28%
Shawn – 39%
Edge – 33%

They announce Shawn as the winner before they show the results. This means Edge and Benoit vs. La Resistance too.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Jazz vs. Nidia vs. Gail Kim vs. Molly Holly vs. Victoria vs. Stacy Keibler

This is the schoolgirl battle royal and yes Trish is defending the title in a battle royal. She’s ticked and a heel here. Jazz isn’t someone I want to see dressed like this. Why can’t Lillian be in this? I’ve never been sure if Nidia is hot or not. Gail looks good too. She never meant a freaking thing after her debut though. Molly is growing her hair back after having it shaved at I think Mania. Victoria (Tara) looks great like this. Stacy is perfect for it with the legs.

It’s not over the top either. The crowd is more into this than the first match. Nidia’s top falls off and she gets knocked out. Jazz is hanging on to the bottom rope and Victoria accidentally hits her with a baseball slide to put her out. Gail is out. There isn’t much to say here at all. Stacy gets the biggest pop of the night for doing a Nash leg choke on Victoria.

This is mainly just a way for Lawler to freak over underwear shots. Molly and Trish get rid of Victoria, leaving the two of them and Stacy. This is boring as all goodness. Stacy is supposed to be the big face here and she makes a bit of a comeback but Molly puts her out easily. Trish is almost out earlier but holds on and sneaks up on Molly to put her out and retain.

Rating: D-. This was bad on all levels. I’ve never gotten the appeal of the schoolgirl thing and this was no exception. Nothing came from this at all but at least it was quick. It was boring as tar on top of that too so there we are. At least it’s over.

La Resistance says they don’t think it’s fair to have to fight a team they don’t know of until just now.

We recap Kane vs. Snitsky. The idea here is that Kane got his wife Lita pregnant and then he had a match with a guy named Snitsky who knocked Kane onto Lita and made her lose her baby. This is a weapon of choice match. The video also shows Kane in regular clothes, which is very weird. This also led to the it wasn’t my fault line from Kane.

The choices are chain, chair and pipe.

Lead Pipe – 29%
Chair – 30%
Chain – 41%

That’s very surprising as the pipe had been an important thing in the angle. Also….a chain?

Kane vs. Gene Snitsky

Lita comes down and the chain is huge. It’s something you could have a strap match with if it was a strap. Lita is here and is just gorgeous. When her hair was straight she looked epic. Kane has control here which makes me think this sounds like a game show or something. Snitsky takes over and beats the heck out of him with the chain.

This is the only thing that Snitsky ever really meant which isn’t saying much. It was an ok angle but at the same time it never really went much of anywhere. It’s amazing to think that Kane is the World Heavyweight Champion at the moment. I’m glad to be able to say that too. Ross says that Kane is fighting for air. I wonder if Lita told him to come but he was already there.

Kane makes his comeback but walks into a sideslam. He pulls a Taker and sits up which is one of his signature moves now too. Snitsky is dominating but Lawler says that it’s even for some reason. This is going WAY too long here as we’re already at about ten minutes and there’s no sign of it ending anytime soon. Gene, which is a great name for him for some reason, grabs a chair and hits Kane in the throat with it, somehow not getting disqualified.

Three straight shots to the neck/throat with it and Kane is just about dead. Snitsky actually Pillmanizes Kane’s neck and throat which is a spot you don’t see that often. He starts spitting up “blood” in a good visual and the referee calls it. Snitsky wants a pin anyway and makes the referee count it. How did this guy never get a monster push? Oh that’s right: HHH didn’t want to lose the world title.

Rating: D. WAY too long here as it ran nearly 15 minutes which is the second longest match of the night. The dominance looked great but at the same time this needed to be cut in half for it to be an actual good match. The time is the real problem here along with a lack of the chain. I think they expected the chair to win which explained the ending. Snitsky looked great though.

Kane does a long stretcher job to leave. I don’t think this really led anywhere. Snitsky jumps him afterwards.

Edge whines about getting a tag title shot which he’s held a ton of times.

Bischoff vs. his nephew Eugene is next with the loser having something done to them. We don’t find out the winner until after the match apparently.

Eric Bischoff vs. Eugene

Bischoff is Eugene’s uncle for your explanation. Eric uses the power of martial arts to start which makes sense to anyone who follows tournament karate, according to Tony Schiavone. He feigns injury and kicks Eugene in the head. It’s Hulk Up time and there’s an airplane spin. The big boot and legdrop ends this.

Rating: N/A. Good night Eugene was over at this point. Even I loved him.

Loser Wears a Dress 21%
Loser is the Winner’s Servant 20%
Loser is Shaved Bald 59%

Oh dear. This would be the end of Bischoff’s black hair. Coach tries to talk Eugene into accepting the servant thing for five minutes. And here’s Vince, apparently interested about something. Man Nick Dinsmore played that character to perfection. Vince says that the crowd has spoken so the shaving is happening.

Eugene does the cutting and Bischoff’s face is great. Coach gets put in the dress for no apparent reason. Vince tells him to take his shirt and pants off. I honestly wonder how many other men he’s said that too over the years. The mannequin the dress was on has balls. Vince: “Button that dress up! Don’t be a sl**!” Vince sees the gray roots of the hair and has a field day with it. He totally steals the show here and it’s great.

Raw Tag Titles: Chris Benoit/Edge vs. La Resistance

This is Conway and Grenier for you La Resistance fan out there. Grenier sings the Canadian national anthem in French to waste a ton of time. Benoit’s music finally kicks on to break up the “singing”. This is right around the time of Edge’s real heel turn and he was really getting good at it. He jumps Conway to start and there is no combination that the champions could use to have an advantage here.

I love that snap suplex from Benoit. That’s always so awesome looking. The crowd is, amazingly enough, dead for the most part here. Edge goes out in front of the barrier to argue with some fan that must have said something evil. I think he might not like Edge but I’m not entirely sure.

This crowd is DEAD. They aren’t moving at all and are barely making any noise at all. It’s like they’re working in front of a ghost town. Benoit has barely been in there at all but unless they pop like crazy for him, this match can more or less be considered a failure in the crowd’s eyes. Benoit comes in to about as great of a roar as the opposing team’s mascot would get.

King thinks the most important thing to the champions is to retain their titles. You can’t buy experience and analysis like that people! A depressing let’s go Benoit chant starts up and dies even faster. The referee doesn’t see the tag to Edge so it isn’t allowed. I love classic things like that. And there goes Edge as he leaves Benoit alone. Well alone with three other guys that is.

In the back Edge gets his bag and leaves. Back in the arena, Benoit hits a top rope suplex but can’t cover. Benoit reverses their finisher (Au Revoir) and shoves Grenier to the floor before locking in the Crossface on Conway for the tap out and the titles. Why look at this: champions that aren’t a real team that hate each other. NEW IDEAS RULE!

Rating: D+. This was like 17 minutes long and NOTHING happened. This was supposed to be big because of Benoit doing it on his own but when he’s on his own for like 3 minutes and the champions dominate for the rest of the time, it’s not a good match but rather just boring. This wasn’t good at all.

HHH is mad because he can’t have any strategy. He also doesn’t believe Shawn’s knee is really hurt. That made me smile as I typed it. We then get clips of Shawn’s knee being hurt last night. King thinks he’s faking.

We recap Christy vs. Carmella. The Christy is Christy Hemme and Camella was also in Playboy. They argue over what kind of “match” to have. The options are aerobics challenge, lingerie pillow fight and bra and panties. Also in the Diva Search that they were the finalists of were Michelle McCool and Maria plus two other girls that also made it to WWE.

Coach is still in his dress for this. Lingerie gets over half the vote. There are semi-see through screens for them to change in. Christy more or less strips and Carmella won’t get near the screen. They take forever and a day to get dressed and the whole thing is just stupid. GET ON WITH IT. They’ve spent like 8 minutes getting ready. Finally.

Christy vs. Carmella

Carmella has some plastic in her top in and Christy rips it out. The feathers get unleashed and this is just idiotic. They roll over top of each other and Christy gets a pin less than two minutes in. Move on now.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Shawn Michaels

This HAS to be good right? Remember that Shawn has a bad left knee. Lawler doesn’t think Shawn is hurt and Ross goes OFF on him, asking if Lawler can think about anything but puppies for one second and acknowledge that the man is hurt. HHH goes to the knee and takes complete control. It’s all HHH here as he just works the knee as much as he can.

We bust out the figure four and Shawn is in trouble. HHH even puts it on the right leg, as in the correct one since it’s Shawn’s left knee that is hurt. He begs the referee not to ring the bell and pulls him down when he tries to. Shawn FINALLY gets the ropes and his knee is pretty much destroyed. And of course Shawn can stand on the knee, but at least he’s not standing straight up. He’s selling it but not as well as he could have.

So of course Shawn uses atomic drops on the bad knee. I get that it hurts him, but how could he be able to stand up? This is what gets on my nerves when they use the HEART justification to explain this. It’s cool once in awhile but when the guy does it for like ten minutes it’s just idiotic. He gets a low blow and a DDT (which is more or less the generic big move for everyone) to set up a top rope elbow.

Yeah my head is hurting again. The fans get into the show for the first time in over two hours as Sweet Chin Music is set up. And here’s Batista for the interference but the kick connects! Edge pops up to spear Shawn and kick off their feud which ran until I think the Rumble. That gets the pin for the Game.

Rating: B. This was a good match, but the selling by Shawn was questionable here. It was like the more HHH beat on the knee the stronger it got, which makes absolutely no sense but whatever. This was solid as you would expect from these two, but seeing HHH use simple psychology (HBK has a bad knee, HHH goes after it the whole time) is a weird thing as these two usually hit 2-3 finishers each to end it. Good match, but nothing is going to save this card at this point.

Bischoff is mostly bald and isn’t happy about it.

We recap the night which takes up like 5 minutes because we have nothing but the main event left to go.

Flair says Orton will never be a legend until he beats him. Orton couldn’t get a title shot while HHH was champion. I kept telling people I wanted an Orton face run and now look where he is. Flair was showing signs of a face turn which never came.

The final vote is for the stipulation here.

Falls Count Anywhere – 20%
Submission – 12%
Steel Cage – 68%

Randy Orton vs. Ric Flair

It’s weird seeing Orton’s arms. Orton used right and left hands back then which is a cool sight actually. Not many people do that and the only other two that I can think of are Sting and Shawn, so if nothing else he’s in good company. Flair goes low a few minutes in and we hit the no rules part of this. Orton is busted and it’s fairly bad.

We talk about politics for some reason as it’s all Flair. Orton comes back and we see Flair’s trunks pulled down for no apparent reason. Is that a running joke in wrestling or something? Flair gets another low blow which is the smart thing to do here as it’s perfectly legal so why not do it? Flair is busted open too. While he’s up against the cage, Orton dropkicks him into it. That was different.

Orton hits a top rope cross body in a nice nod to Flair’s original Starrcade world title win. Flair tries to escape which doesn’t work. Brass knuckles to Orton gets two. Why is he hiding them in a no holds barred match? Instinct of a great heel if nothing else. The old dude gets a chair in the cage somehow but misses and RKO ends it. I love that move and it was awesome back then too as he didn’t jump as high so it was like a Diamond Cutter. They shake hands to end the show.

Rating: B-. Not bad but this was wasn’t anything that special. Flair was game here though and showed that he could still pull off a decent match when he had to. It’s saying something else that they gave him the main event spot. Orton was awesome at this point so of course they turned him heel and then sent him to Smackdown so he wouldn’t get too over. But remember, HHH NEVER played politics at all. Never. Not him. Nope.

Overall Rating: F+. Oh this was BAD. There was nothing at all worth watching on this and almost nothing worth even talking about. Shelton winning his first title could have been on Raw….much like the rest of this freaking show. This show just didn’t work as the angles went nowhere after this because it was more or less a bunch of one off matches. Terrible show and not even worth watching for the novelty.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $5 at:

 

Judgment Day 2003
Date: May 18, 2003
Location: Charlotte Coliseum, Charlotte, North Carolina
Attendance: 13,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz

 

We continue this series with another show that wasn’t all that good. 2003 was like the year of death for Raw as everything was completely dull with HHH gobbling up everything in sight and having terrible feud after terrible feud. Tonight he has Kevin Nash and would face him again in the Cell the next month. Also tonight it’s Mr. America vs. Roddy Piper and Brock vs. Show for the title. Let’s get to it.

 

The opening video is about being hung and facing your judgment day which is very similar to the one from last year. There’s an electric chair in this one though so it’s very different.

 

Little note: this is the final joint branded show before the lower level shows went to individual brands.

 

Here’s Austin, the co-GM of Raw, to open the show. He says there are a lot of good fans here so he’s going to sit in the stands with the fans….in a skybox. He goes through the crowd to get there at least so that helps somewhat.

 

John Cena/FBI vs. Chris Benoit/Spanky/Rhyno

 

Cena is a heel rapper here and he does a rap about mafia movies. The FBI here is Palumbo/Stambolli. Who put that face team together too? Benoit had a mini feud with the FBI for no apparent reason and they interfered in Benoit vs. Cena on Smackdown. Spanky and Rhyno are Benoit’s friends apparently. Works well enough I suppose. Spanky is Brian Kendrick if you’ve never heard that name.

 

The faces clear the ring so Benoit and Rhyno make a launching pad so that Spanky can take them all out on the floor. Cena vs. Spanky to start us off. Enziguri puts Cena down and everything breaks down quickly. Cole calls himself a shoe lace for some reason. Apparently the FBI has a hit list and they’ve taken out various big names. Palumbo comes in as Spanky is getting destroyed here so far.

 

Bear hug goes on by Chucky who apparently has stopped deciding to be effeminate and is all tough and Italian now. He lets the hold go just because and gets two anyway. And now he puts it right back on again. Sure why not. Spanky hammers his way out of it and it’s off to Benoit vs. Cena.

 

Everything breaks down and it’s Germans for the Italians from the Canadian. Swan Dive to Palumbo and it’s a blind tag from Spanky. He tries Sliced Bread #2 on Palumbo but Nunzio interferes and the Kiss of Death (Demolition Decapitator but with a leg drop instead of an elbow) ends this. Benoit had Cena in the Crossface at the same time.

 

Rating: D. Dude, a four minute opener in a six man tag? Rhyno was never even in the match legally. This wasn’t much at all and really had no point being on this show. That was a telling sign of what was to come with the whole brand split show as there simply weren’t going to be enough matches to fill out a card. This was something that would hint at that.

 

Austin buys a hot dog and the cute girl offers some ketchup. Austin inquires about a burger but here comes Bischoff to solid heat. They’re co-GMs so Eric says half of this is his, including the food. There are crates of beer against the wall. Austin offers him the hot dog he was about to eat and Bischoff skeptically eats it. I’m sure the fans are riveted by this. Bischoff wants Scotch but gets a beer instead. He wants it in a cup which Austin doesn’t like. Naturally, Austin crushes the cup with his can. This SO needed to be on PPV.

 

We recap the debut of La Resistance who started a feud with Scott Steiner over the whole Iraq War and the lack of support from French troops, which is what created Freedom Fries which was so stupid I can’t fathom it. Stacy was dating Test at the time and got him and Steiner together as a bad team to fight them, which led to an awful feud.

 

Test/Scott Steiner vs. La Resistance

 

And you get to pay to see it! Test is a heel here while Steiner is all about AMERICA! La Resistance looks rather stupid but whatever. The French guys say they’re innocent in all this and that the American government promotes hatred. I’ll spare you all a long political rant here. Stacy likes Steiner but Test is insanely jealous. This of course would turn into Steiner “winning” her and turning heel.

 

Test and Dupree start us off and they slap it out while Rene dances. Resistance is Rene Dupree and Sylvan Grenier if the names are confusing you. Off to Steiner and it’s incredibly telling to see how far he’s fallen since having the world title match at the Rumble. Steiner uses the power of AMERICA to take over. Grenier is sent to the floor but Steiner walks into a hot shot to shift the momentum.

 

Double suplex gets two on Steiner and we hit the chinlock. Middle rope clothesline gets two for Grenier and it’s off to Dupree. He comes off the top and jumps into a T-Bone suplex and both guys are down. Off to Test again and some rooms are cleaned. Pumphandle doesn’t work but the full nelson slam gets two. Steiner gets sent into the barrier and Test steals a beret.

 

Grenier gets two with feet on the ropes and it’s a double team. Steiner is back in now and here comes the pumphandle from Test. The slam hits and there’s no referee. Grenier gets a dropkick which knocks Test into Stacy who is caught by Steiner. Rollup gets two for Grenier and Steiner makes a blind tag. Downward spiral gets no cover as Test accidentally kicks Scott’s head off. A double spinebuster beats Steiner.

 

Rating: D. Why in the world is this, ANOTHER TV match on PPV? This is one of those matches that went nowhere as the people didn’t care in the slightest and everyone knew it. The French guys were the tag team of note for a few years and then they just went away and no one really cared. Weak match, as expected.

 

Stacy wants to check on Scott but Test drags her away. This story went on for months.

 

Mr. America is walking around and runs into Gregory Helms, ace reporter. The joke is that everyone and their mother knows it’s Hogan but he keeps saying I’m not Hogan. Helms accuses him of being Hogan and Mr. America accuses him of being the Hurricane. Both say they’re wrong. We do get Hogan to say whatsupwitdat?

 

Team Angle has given Eddie an offer of have a handicap match or forfeit the match since Chavo is injured. Eddie says a lot to Josh Matthews (in glasses) in Spanish and says he’s found a partner. It’s Tajiri and they have the gold medals for some reason. Tajiri says he lies, he cheats and he steals. This one is for Chavo.

 

Smackdown Tag Titles: Team Angle vs. Eddie Guerrero/Tajiri

 

Team Angle (Haas and Benjamin) are champions here. The brawl starts in the aisle as this should be rather good. Benjamin throws Eddie into a ladder and Tajiri takes his medal off. Team Angle beats Tajiri down with Eddie having been slammed into the ladder earlier. Ah there’s Eddie. And so much for that as he gets dropped on Haas’ knee to take care of that. Apparently Team Angle not knowing where a ladder is makes them inexperienced.

 

Tajiri and Eddie botch the heck out of something as they drop Tajiri onto the floor instead of a ladder. That looked awful. A handspring elbow by Tajiri to the ladder takes it and the champions down. Ladder goes into Charlie’s balls and the look on his face is priceless. Another ladder comes into the ring and Haas gets sandwiched between them as Eddie hits the hilo onto the ladder onto Charlie onto the ladder.

 

Shelton pulls Tajiri off the ladder and Tajiri’s face hits the rung on the way down. FREAKING OW MAN!!! Shelton powerslams Eddie into the ladder and the challengers are in trouble. This is one of those matches where there are just spots happening with very little going on in between. Not bad but kind of tiring. Team Angle does that jump on the back thing but from a ladder onto the ladder with Tajiri in between. That was awesome looking.

 

Haas almost gets up there but Eddie pops up to send Haas flying to the floor. The ladder gets wedged between the top and middle rope and Eddie is sent flying into it. Time for the Tajiri kicks and a ladder shot. Tarantula goes onto Haas which gets a big pop. Shelton saves his partner by driving the ladder into the head of the Japanese man. The champions take over again with Eddie in trouble.

 

The idea here is supposed to be that Team Angle doesn’t know how to win a ladder match due to inexperience. The problem with that is simple: you climb the stupid thing. That’s how you win. See the belts? Go get them! How hard is that? Eddie goes up but Charlie keeps slowing him down.

 

Shelton goes after him too but Eddie knocks him down and drops a Frog Splash on him in a cool spot. Eddie vs. Charlie on top of the ladder and Charlie takes a sunset bomb to the mat. Always loved that move. Tajiri is finally back and his Mists Shelton to let Eddie grab the belts as we have new champions.

 

Rating: B-. This was good but the problem is that we’ve seen all this before. The MITB match coming up would make everything else done not called TLC seem weak. This was a good match and belonged on the PPV but it feels pretty worthless all things considered now. Good match, nothing we haven’t seen before though.

 

Bischoff and Austin argue about who should try to sign Eddie. Bischoff doesn’t want a burger or another beer. Austin doesn’t like the way Eric sips his beer so he opens the skybox and makes fun of the way Eric drinks his beer. He says the match was awesome too which is pretty true. The fans make fun of Eric too and this is pretty stupid.

 

Jericho says he’s going to be IC Champion again and Roddy Piper pops up. Jericho says he’s old, Piper makes fun of the Highlight Reel. Chris says Piper is fat and Piper makes unfunny jokes. Yep this is pointless.

 

We recap the history of the IC Title which is coming back tonight. The title had been unified with the world title because someone thought we needed one champion per show for no apparent reason so they dropped the midcard titles. It comes back tonight and the US Title would be back in June. Tonight we’re going to have a battle royal of only former champions plus Booker T who was rather confusing. This is an awesome video which shows some great moments in the title’s history which really does have a long history.

 

Intercontinental Title: Battle Royal

 

Val Venis (returning here after being Chief Morely for awhile), Chris Jericho, Goldust, Lance Storm, Rob Van Dam, Christian, Test (pulling a double tonight), Kane, Booker T (not a former champion yet in this anyway)

 

Pat Patterson handles the introductions. Only 9 people in this which is a rather odd number. Standard over the top rules here. Kane and RVD, the Raw tag champions, go at it immediately. Everyone gangs up on Kane and he’s like boys please and tosses Storm. RVD takes the knee out and it’s another pile on Kane. This time they get him out so we’re down to seven.

 

Kane comes back in to beat them up for fun. Booker puts Test out and Goldust throws out Val. Jericho gets his springboard dropkick to put Van Dam out so it’s down to Goldust, Jericho, Booker and Christian. Goldie cleans house for a bit but the Canadians come back to take over. Goldust comes back and bulldogs both Canadians. This is getting boring in a hurry.

 

With the help of Booker, both Canadians gets Shattered Dreams. There’s the Spinarooni but Goldust lunges at him, only to get tossed as well. It’s down to Booker vs. Christian vs. Jericho. The fans are all behind Booker here. This isn’t his year though as he was beaten by a racist heel at Mania (People “like Booker” don’t win world titles. What do you think that was implying?) and gets double teamed here.

 

Booker fights them off for a bit and Jericho skins the cat. Down goes Booker again as the words GET ON WITH THIS play over and over in my head. Jericho is bleeding from the nose. Jericho sets for the Lionsault and Christian shoves him out! I love double crosses. Booker beats on him for awhile and a referee somehow is knocked down. Christian hit a baseball slide into him if you’re curious.

 

Yes, it’s going to be a Dusty Finish in a battle royal. Scissors kick misses and Christian goes to the apron. Booker sends him into the buckle and wins this. The music plays and Christian steals the belt from Patterson. A belt shot to the head and a toss out later and it’s Christian that officially wins the title. Booker would get it back about two months later. Everyone hates this mind you. Yes, a Dusty Finish in a battle royal. I told you this era was weak.

 

Rating: D+. Another boring match tonight which is a theme here. Was there a point to this being a battle royal other than not wanting to have two tournaments going at once? For some reason they were afraid to give Booker anything even though he was on a roll and was over at this point. That’s Vince for you though. Weak match with a bad ending.

 

Sable tells Torrie not to be nervous. They have a bikini contest next. They were doing this weird lesbian angle here and it didn’t go anywhere really. Sable oils her legs to try to make Torrie want her and it goes nowhere.

 

We recap this….whatever which is set to bad music. There was a body contest where Torrie more or less gave her a lapdance. Hot, but pointless for the most part.

 

They do that silhouette dance behind the curtain thing while Lillian does the theme music of Torrie. It’s live for once and it’s her gyrating with Torrie so I can’t complain. I’m not sure what to say here. They’re both hot, Sable looks better, the fans cheer for her, but before she’s declared the winner Torrie takes her bikini off to reveal a much smaller one, making her the winner. Torrie kisses her post contest. This was a waste of 10 minutes. They’ve both been in Playboy so I kind of fail to see the point of something like this. Lawler’s reaction is hilarious.

 

Bischoff says he has a condom in his wallet. He’s half drunk and half sick from the food. Austin offers him a pizza and Bischoff can barely move. Instead he gives him some “pickles”, more commonly known as peppers and Eric is in agony.

 

Piper talks to O’Haire and Vince comes in. Vince gives Piper a pep talk and wants him to destroy Mr. America so that Vince can rip the mask off.

 

We get a clip of Smackdown where Mr. America gave a “fan” (Zach Gowen) an American flag and the kid jumped the barrier to stop them from unmasking Hogan, only to discover that he has one leg.

 

Mr. America vs. Roddy Piper

 

Get this over with. FAST. Sean O’Haire is with Piper here and Gowen is with Hogan. The joke is an old one here but still kind of funny. Piper, in regular trunks, jumps Hogan along with O’Haire to take over early. O’Haire, in wrestling gear for no apparent reason, hammers away on Hogan a bit too. Here comes Mr. America with the “24 inch Patriots” and the beating is on.

 

Out to the floor and Hogan chokes O’Haire with the weight belt. Hogan whips Piper with it a bit as we haven’t had a single wrestling move other than a punch or whip in this whole thing. Sleeper goes on and it’s AWFUL. Piper is almost poking him in the eyes. Hogan fights that off and gets taken down by an axe handle to the back. American hammers away again and it’s Vince to the rescue! Low blow by Piper but a pipe shot from O’Haire hits Piper and the leg drop ends it. Gowen kept Vince from saving it.

 

Rating: F+. Why in the world is Roddy Piper in trunks in a featured match on PPV in 2003? Hogan….eh I guess you can stretch to let that be here, but put him against O’Haire and let HIM get the rub. He was a cool character and he gets fed to Hogan instead of growing a bit. That’s the criticism you get for Hogan and at times it makes sense. Granted this one isn’t Hogan’s fault, but it’s the stereotype of him. This one is on the company though.

 

Stephanie tells HHH to be careful. That’s all there is to this meeting.

 

We recap HHH vs. Nash. Nash was back for the 10^th time and naturally he’s #1 contender just because. He wants to be with his friends apparently but he got caught in the middle of HHH vs. Shawn and he doesn’t like it. HHH says this is how it is now and he’s never going to be friends with Shawn. Let alone reform DX 5 times and win the tag titles. Flair got after Shawn to save the title and it was a big mess. In short, Flair/HHH vs. Shawn/Nash. The feud had zero heat and no one thought Nash had a chance and they were right. Jericho was involved here also but it didn’t really matter.

 

Raw World Title: Kevin Nash vs. HHH

 

Shawn, Flair, Nash and HHH all get entrances. Remember that Shawn and Flair were listed in the ad for the match. Naturally Flair gets the biggest pop of them all since we’re in Charlotte. Nash jumps him in the aisle and we pair off. Is there a reason why this isn’t a tag match? Flair and Michaels fight to the back and they’re gone without even a bell.

 

There’s the bell and it’s all Nash so far. By the way, we won’t be seeing Flair or HBK for the rest of the match. So glad that they got a PPV payday here. Nash gets a backdrop and HHH tries to run and hide. Back in the ring and down goes the Game. Side slam and an elbow drop by Nash. There’s another elbow and HHH shoves down the referee. Somehow that’s not a DQ but whatever.

 

HHH finally gets a neckbreaker to take Nash down. HHH is in purple here. Back off to Nash who hammers away and then shoves the referee too. Hebner is underappreciated for doing stuff like this. After a brief chase HHH accidentally clotheslines the referee and low blows Nash. There goes the turnbuckle and HHH goes…into another corner.

 

Sidewalk slam sends HHH down and Nash goes through some of his favorites like the elbows and a big boot. Snake Eyes is attempted into the exposed buckle and Nash shoves the referee down AGAIN. HHH reverses it and rams Nash in so that the Pedigree can get two.

 

Another attempt is reversed into a backdrop over the ropes and HHH finds the sledgehammer. HHH hits Hebner in the chest with it and finally it’s a DQ after less than 8 minutes. The fans are not thrilled and boo heavily then die. This set up Hell in a Cell in two months in one of the weakest major gimmick matches ever. HHH takes a Jackknife post match.

 

Rating: F. This was there to set up Bad Blood and that’s all there is to it. The match sucked beyond belief and no one cared at all about this. Nash was here because he was one of HHH’s friends and no one bought that the title was changing. 2003 was the worst year in the history of Raw and this is one of the major reasons why.

 

Nash goes all psycho post match and Jackknifes HHH through the announce table.

 

We waste some time with HHH being taken out.

 

Austin gives Bischoff some jalapenos and Bischoff vomits. AND WE GET REPLAYS!!! This clearly needed a total of ten minutes on PPV while the opening match got 4 minutes and had Benoit and Cena in it.

 

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Jacqueline vs. Jazz vs. Victoria

 

This should be mostly painless. At least Victoria and Trish look hot. Stevie Richards is here for Victoria. Jackie is a face here…I think. She and Trish clear the ring and square off. This is one fall to a finish. Crowd is more or less dead here. We’re totally in the formula here: two girls fight, a third saves and then she fights the other girl. Teddy Long manages Jazz.

Jazz cleans the ring until Trish comes back and pops her with some forearms. STF goes on from Jazz to Trish and Jackie puts the half crab on Victoria to give us a weird race thing. Trish makes the ropes so Jazz drills Jackie. STF to Victoria as I want this to end badly. Matrix and Chick Kick get two on Jazz. Ranas for both heels but Trish gets dumped to the floor by Victoria. Jazz DDTs Jackie to retain. Yeah Jazz was champion coming into this if I didn’t mention that.

 

Rating: F+. Jazz sucked. That’s what this boiled down to at the end of the day. Jazz sucked and yet they wouldn’t let her push with the title die. The division existed for hot women and Jazz wasn’t your traditional Diva. This was boring and everyone knew it sucked. Terribly weak match.

 

We recap Lesnar vs. Show. Show injured Rey in a fairly psycho attack at Backlash. Rey wasn’t sure whether he could wrestle again out of fear. Show came at him and Lesnar stood up for the locker room and made it a stretcher match because that’s what Rey was on when Show hurt him.

 

Smackdown World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Big Show

 

You win by putting a guy on a stretcher and pushing him past the line. Brock looked awesome as a face for some reason. He’s like a soldier or something ready for war. The idea is the stretcher is too big to put Show on. Show brings a back board but Lesnar gets it and beats Show up with it. It’s fun watching Brock fire away for some reason. Basically this is both guys hammering away with the stretcher parts at various times.

 

Big old chokeslam and Show puts him on a stretcher before dropping a leg for some reason. He almost gets Brock across but instead clotheslines him to the floor. Back at ringside and Brock beats on Show with a stretcher and chokes him out with a cord. There isn’t anything to say here. It’s a pretty good brawl but at the same time the stretcher thing is pretty stupid.

 

Cole asks if you can imagine Lesnar as a linebacker. I think he was a defensive lineman but yeah I can imagine it. He slams Show onto the stretcher but Show falls off. They fight with the stretcher and try to ram it into the other’s ribs. Lesnar goes into the post back/back of the head first to take him down. There’s another back board under the ring for some reason. Shouldn’t the first aid people have that?

 

Lesnar knocks Show off the apron and onto a stretcher which he drops off of. Lesnar leaves the arena and here’s Rey with a 619 to the balls but he can’t do anything else. Here comes the chokeslam but here’s Lesnar with a forklift. He dives off said forklift onto Show and goes off on him with a suplex and FU. Yes I said FU as that wasn’t an F5. Way better than any Cena ever gave him either. Stretcher onto the forklift, Show onto the stretcher, match and show over.

 

Rating: B-. Hard one to grade here as it was entertaining but at the same time the thing was so back and forth that it’s hard to say if it was good or not. On this show though I need something to have that’s decent so I’ll give this the benefit of the doubt. Show was so big at this point that it just didn’t work anymore.

 

Overall Rating: F. This was just weak. There are two ok matches and that’s about it. The show was just dead from an idea standpoint and the HHH match is proof of that. Hogan and Piper would feud for a few months before Hogan left/got fired/whatever and no one cared. This was a terrible show and definitely not worth seeing. Even the good matches are pretty bad. That’s not a good thing at all.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $5 at:

 

Since we’re now about four days removed from Wrestlemania and three from Raw, I figured I’d take another quick look at the two shows since a lot of their impacts were probably lost during the live reviews.Wrestlemania

The more I think about it, the worse the show looks.  To begin with, how in the world can you have a nine match card running FOUR HOURS and have to cut a match due to time constraints?  There were no backstage segments, the Hall of Fame stuff was quick, five matches didn’t even make it to eleven minutes, and the longest match was 24:01.  But somehow we had to cut a match for time?  Let’s see.  Could it have been:

Rock vs. Cena promo – 2 minutes

Announcers play with WWE action figures – 1 minute

Package on the Special Olympics – 3 minutes

John Cena Make-A-Wish video – 2 minutes

Video on the Pre-Show – 1 minute

Rock vs. Cena promo – 2 minutes

Diddy Intro – 2 minutes

Diddy Concert – 8 minutes

Video on Slim Jims – 1 minute

Rock vs. Cena promo – 2 minutes

Gee, could it be the TWENTY FOUR MINUTES spent either hyping up stuff we ALREADY BOUGHT or WWE patting themselves on the back for how great they are?  Yeah instead of having Ryder and 3MB in the back doing something amusing, we need to hear about how awesome it is that WWE has sent Slim Jims to soldiers.

 

Moving on, there’s the major problem with this show: it wasn’t that good.  The best match was either Undertaker vs. Punk or HHH vs. Lesnar and neither of them are anything resembling a classic.  They’re both good but I want a bit more when I think of two of the biggest matches of the year.  Both were more than fine for second and third biggest matches on Wrestlemania though.

This brings us to the main event which just wasn’t very good.  It was exactly what we were expecting and while there were some good spots in there, the majority of the match did nothing for me.  I’m very tired of the idea of using five finishers a match as the only offense as they stop being finishers and are just moves at that point.  Cena winning was the right move, but the problem at the end of the day was that Rock winning the title didn’t do much.  It wasn’t a good title reign and he was really just there to pass the title along to Cena.

As for the other major matches, let’s take a quick look at a few.

 

Swagger vs. Del Rio: meh.  This feud stopped being interesting about two weeks in and Swagger not even getting an intro showed how lame it was in the eyes of the company.  The match was nothing of note (again clipped because of time, because WE NEED DIDDY!) and Swagger looks like the jobber he’s been for years.

 

Lesnar vs. HHH. While the opening part ran long, the match was very physical and brutal.  Now that being said, why in the world am I supposed to look at Brock as a serious threat again?  The match vs. Cena made Brock look like a BEAST and Cena looked like he was trying to survive rather than win the match.  That made for a great showcase and a great match.  The matches with HHH on the other hand were ALL about HHH.  Think about it: Brock was a guy there for HHH to get beaten down by and then make the Superman comeback against months later.  Lesnar was just a guy for HHH to beat and nothing more.  This is Brock Lesnar, not Khali or Henry, but he’s being treated like a regular monster.

 

Overall Wrestlemania was entirely forgettable.  Nothing on the show was incredibly fun or interesting, so it came off as very lame.  Out of the 29 shows in the series, it’s probably not even in the top 20.  That’s not a good sign coming off last year’s incredible show.

 

Now on to Raw, which was very interesting for a lot of different reasons.

 

Let’s get the big one out of the way right now: Raw sucked this week.  Here are the matches:

Squash

Rematch from Mania’s pre-show with a stupid booking decision

VERY boring handicap match

MITB cash-in

6 man tag to get people not on Wrestlemania on TV

The bizarre match

90 second Fandango match ending in a run-in

Mania match on Raw because WWE LOVES SLIM JIMS!

3 minute match to set up the show ending angle

 

Other stupid stuff on Raw:

Booker not letting us just have Henry vs. Cena for the title (which would have been a better booking move given the ending)

Colter and Swagger trying to get a heel reaction by asking the fans to chant USA

Ziggler being world champion

The Twitter Poll being canceled after the results were shown on screen

 

Now we get to the big deal of the show: the crowd.  Let me get this out of the way: that crowd was not a good thing.  It was entertaining for a bit, but eventually they decided to take over the show and make it all about them, because those 12,000 or so people are more important than the fans at home or the people in the ring.  Were they amusing for a bit?  Yes they were, but as soon as they made the entire show about them, it was too much.  It was annoying in ECW and it was annoying here, along with being disrespectful to the people who are working hard in the ring.

 

Raw sucked on Monday and they’re not going to have a crowd like that to take the focus off that in the future.  That’s a very bad sign for them going forward.

Judgment Day 2001
Date: May 20, 2011
Location: ARCO Arena, Sacramento, California
Attendance: 13,623
Commentators: Jim Ross, Paul Heyman

 

This is more or less the last match on PPV for the Two Man Power Trip as the following night HHH would tear his quad in the tag match vs. Benoit/Jericho. Tonight though he’s defending the IC Title against Kane while the main event is Taker vs. Austin in a no holds barred match for the world title. Other than that we have the final match in Chyna’s WWF career and Angle vs. Benoit, 2/3 falls. Can’t go wrong there. Let’s get to it.

 

The opening video is of a bearded man in front of a church talking about this being the end of times and all that jazz. Nothing special at all here.

 

The theme of the set is of big hourglasses as time is running out and the end is near. How poetic.

 

William Regal vs. Rikishi

 

Regal is Commissioner here still. Prematch we hear Regal saying that Rikishi gave Stephanie a Stinkface and tonight he’ll avenge her. Rikishi is all ticked off here. I guess that whole attempted murderer thing is forgiven. Rikishi has a bad shoulder though so it’s hard to say how well he’ll be able to do here. The fat man hammers away and Regal is in trouble early. Stinkface is attempted but Regal gets a low blow in to take over.

 

Loud Regal Sucks chant starts up. Rikishi tries a seated senton on Regal but the English dude moves. This is what they picked for an opener? Really? Rikishi gets a leg drop for two and there’s the Stinkface. I hate stuff like that, I truly do. Regal dry heaves for a bit on the floor and the look on his face is priceless. Regal is busted open. Rikishi misses a charge into the corner and posts the bad shoulder. The Regal Cutter (that neckbreaker he does where he pulls the other guys’ arm around their own neck) ends this quickly.

 

Rating: D+. What was the point to this? Isn’t this something that belong on Smackdown or Raw? Stephanie is avenged I guess but at the same time did we need to have this on a PPV/ At least it was in the opening spot I guess, but dang dude, give us something better than this. Not a bad match but nothing I have any interest in at all.

 

Christian and Edge are talking. Tonight they have a tag team turmoil match with the winner getting a title shot. Jericho has a mystery partner and if you read the intro you know both what happens and who wins. Angle pops up and says if the 2/3 falls match he has with Benoit goes to a third fall it’s a ladder match. Edge says don’t fall off because it sucks. Christian adds that if you do, make sure you have your medals which I guess is what this is about. Yeah he’s not wearing them at the moment.

 

HHH and Stephanie get here and are greeted by Vince. Vince wants to know why HHH and Austin involved Taker’s wife Sarah. If I remember right someone told Taker that Sarah had been in a car wreck and Taker left to check on her. It turned out Austin faked the whole thing. I don’t think a reason was given other than to attack Kane. Vince wants to know why HHH and Austin would mess with the sanctity of marriage. Yes it’s meant to be funny.

 

We recap Angle vs. Benoit. This is the time where Benoit stole the medals and Angle started losing his mind. I love how Kurt is willing to put his property on the line in a wrestling match. Benoit put the medals in his ball sack of all things. Angle stole them back and kissed them, but then Benoit put him in the crossface and he had to drop them to tap. Tonight the first fall is pin only, second is submission only, third is ladder.

 

Kurt Angle vs. Chris Benoit

 

Kurt grabs the mic before he starts. He says that tonight the gold medals are coming home. The crowd says he sucks so he says shut up. Tonight the medals go from against Benoit’s genitals to around his neck where they belong. Angle makes fun of the Sacramento Kings, the NBA team in town. Making fun of sports teams heat is still heat.

 

Nice pop for Benoit. Benoit takes the medals out and Angle jumps him. It’s aggressive Kurt tonight as he hammers away with the Rolling Germans. Angle goes up but misses a splash/headbutt and Benoit hits an Angle Slam and it’s 1-0 maybe a minute in. Dang that came out of nowhere. Crossface goes on almost immediately but Kurt gets a rope. This one is submission only remember.

 

Angle goes into the steps a few times as it’s all Benoit. Now he goes into the post. This hasn’t been a good 2 minutes for him so far. Benoit misses a chop so Kurt picks him up and rams him balls first into the post to shift momentum and Benoit’s voice range drastically. The fans are all over Angle here. Back in the ring and Angle tries the ankle lock but Benoit grabs the rope.

 

Another attempt fails and Benoit can’t get it either. He does however get a quick crossface which gets him nowhere. After a quick nothing on the floor it’s back in and Angle rakes the eyes to take over again. They’re clearly just going through stuff here but it’s not bad at all. Angle hits a belly to belly as Benoit is in trouble. Benoit reverses a whip in and almost gets another crossface but a rope is grabbed.

 

Angle grabs the ankle but Benoit grabs the ankle. That’s the idea here obviously: both guys are trying to grab their signature holds but neither can keep it on for any significant time at all. Out of instinct Angle tries a rollup which of course doesn’t count. Angle grabs something close to a knee bar but Benoit is in the ropes again. The referee threatens a DQ which kind of negates the whole SUBMISSION ONLY thing.

 

Benoit grabs a quick Liontamer of all things which doesn’t work very long but it got a great reaction. Spinning toe hold goes into a figure four but not a very good one. They roll over a few times and Benoit won’t break in the ropes. Oh never mind yes he does. Benoit focuses on the knee now which is good. It’s stupid for Benoit to do a bunch of leg work and then to try the Crossface unless it’s right there. That’s psychology there people.

 

Dragon screw leg whip and an ankle lock by Benoit almost works. JR: “If these ropes were a woman Angle would be going steady.” Good line. We head to the floor and Benoit is in trouble. Never mind as they’re back in already. They’re moving very quickly here. DDT by Benoit but Angle pops up and hits the Angle Slam. Uh….ok. Ankle Lock goes on and Benoit taps immediately. You could argue there that Benoit tapped that fast because he wanted his ankle to be ok for the ladder match.

 

The medals are hooked up and raised again. The guys are back on the floor with Benoit going into the steps. Angle brings in a ladder which is read and only 6’0 tall. That’s not something you often see here. Benoit knocks him down and gets a regular ladder but Angle rips Benoit down. Angle charges with the ladder but Benoit ducks and the ladder and Angle go to the floor.

 

Benoit gets it and instead of going up he hammers on Angle a bit. Such a nice psychopath. Angle somehow gets up and stops Benoit with a lot blow to take over again. The ladder is in the corner and both guys are rammed into it/crushed by it. Benoit in control at the moment. The ladder gets wedged between the top and middle ropes like you often see done with chairs and Benoit goes chest first into it.

 

Angle gets a suplex to throw Benoit into the ladder and the Canadian is in trouble. Scratch that as Benoit is able to seesaw the ladder and drive it into Angle’s face. He puts the ladder on top of Angle and climbs. For some reason Benoit climbs down for most stomping. He goes up again and Angle is able to shove him off. Benoit grabs a Crossface out of nowhere but here are Edge and Christian. Their distraction is enough to let Angle go up and get his medals back to win the match.

 

Rating: A-. Very solid stuff here but dude, it’s Benoit vs. Angle. Were you expecting anything other than a classic? 2/3 falls from these guys is something that you really can’t get wrong. They did their stuff out there and it was of course awesome. There isn’t much else to say here. It’s a great match but that’s par for the course with these two.

 

Taker runs into Regal’s office and wants his match with Austin to be No Holds Barred. Regal is terrified and says he’ll do it.

 

Jerry Lynn, the Light Heavyweight Champion, is at WWF New York and isn’t happy with being there instead of on PPV. He gets on JR and JR denies knowing why Lynn was talking to him.

 

Hardcore Title: Test vs. Rhyno vs. Big Show

 

Rhyno has the title here. Test cost Big Show a match with Shane last month so there’s a history there. Test and Show go at it early before Rhyno gets here. Rhyno takes his time to get here which is kind of stupid. He tries to get some steps but can’t get them unhooked in a funny moment. Rhyno charges at Show on the floor but runs into a boot and we hit the crowd.

 

Show rams Test into a wall and is looking for Rhyno. Oh there he is. Test grabs something to choke Show out with and Show is going down quickly. Rhyno tries to launch a cart of anvil cases at Show and it might have hit him in the head. Rhyno vs. Test now with the taller one in control. And then the real taller one shows up and hammers both of them down.

 

Show tries to chokeslam Test onto some pallets but Rhyno saves. Rhyno and Test manage to knock Show down onto said pallets and is hurt bad. Test and Rhyno run away so they can have a one on one without Show there. That’s rather smart actually. Back into the arena now and even back to ringside. Test is rammed into a post and Rhyno grabs a weapon or two.

 

Back in the ring and Test punches the trashcan lid that Rhyno had back into his face. The fans chant for Show. Rhyno gets a DDT onto the trashcan lid for two. Show is back and Rhyno takes a HUGE chokeslam but Test kicks Show down for two. Gore to Show and Test adds a trashcan lid shot to Rhyno for two. Fire extinguisher comes into play and Show is down. Rhyno throws Test to the floor and throws a trashcan to Show. A “Gore” (read as a tackle) to Show pins him and Rhyno retains.

 

Rating: D+. What were you really expecting here? This is every other hardcore match you would see in this era and there’s not a single special aspect to it. Rhyno would be champion a little while longer until RVD showed up and he and Jeff Hardy traded the title a bunch. This was just there to fill in space more or less as the novelty was completely gone.

 

Regal can’t bring himself to speak to Austin about the no holds barred aspect.

 

Lita is stretching while the Hardys give her encouragement. Eddie comes in to offer her advice against Lita.

 

Regal manages to go in and tells Austin about the stipulation and Austin is ok with it.

 

We recap Chyna vs. Lita. In short Chyna won the title and no one could challenge her. Then there was Lita left. They were partners and Chyna more or less patronized her like she had no chance against Chyna in their match.

 

Women’s Title: Chyna vs. Lita

 

Lita is insanely over here. And here’s Chyna looking like a peacock. That’s JR’s term, not mine. They hug before the match as I guess Lita is ok with Chyna being a witch to her and not seeming to take this seriously at all. This is power vs. speed here and both use their own better attribute to take over for a bit. Lita tries to help Chyna up and gets rolled up for two. Ok so she’s hot but not incredibly smart. Got it.

 

Chyna overpowers the match with ease to start but Lita gets a DDT for two. She finally wakes up and hammers away on Chyna. Middle rope clothesline gets two. Lita goes for the arm as this is getting sloppy. The fans are still in it though so they have that at least. Swinging neckbreaker by Chyna sets up a powerslam for two.

 

Lita channels her inner Alberto by hooking up a rolling cross armbreaker and Chyna is in real trouble all of a sudden. Chyna reverses into a headscissors and here’s Eddie for no apparent reason. She tries a powerbomb but Lita reverses into a horrible looking rana for two. And then a powerbomb by Chyna ends this clean. Nothing from Eddie other than standing there and Chyna more or less didn’t break a sweat.

 

Rating: D. This was supposed to be the big showdown? Chyna destroyed Lita here and made her look like a joke. This was Chyna’s last match in the company as she was taken off TV and the title was held up. She held the title until November anyway so there simply were no title matches for about six months. In short, Chyna destroyed the division and it took Trish and Lita to bring it back to whatever it was. Oh and this match was awful.

 

Angle is fired up about winning the medals and says that this is just beginning. Tomorrow he’s going to have an Olympic Medal ceremony. He thanks Edge and Christian and leaves. Edge says it was to get Kurt to shut up.

 

Vince gives HHH and Austin a pep talk.

 

We recap HHH vs. Kane. These feuds can be combined into one actually. The Hardys and Lita had been the ones to stand up to the Two Man Power Trip and in short, they got their teeth kicked in. Austin/HHH were about to destroy Lita when Taker and Kane popped up as the cavalry. They were tag champions at the time and the main event of Backlash was the obvious tag match with all the titles on the line (HHH was IC Champion at this time if that wasn’t clear). The Two Man Power Trip had injured Kane’s arm which was what caused the tag title change. The feuds then split into two single feuds, playing out tonight.

 

Intercontinental Title: Kane vs. HHH

 

This is the version where you’re joined at the wrist but you win by pin/submission thank goodness. Kane brings the chain and still has the bad left arm. HHH jumps Kane before they’re attached and the fight is on. Like an intelligent man, HHH goes after the BIG BANDAGE on the arm. To the floor with HHH ramming Kane’s arm into various steel objects.

 

Back in the ring and HHH attaches the chain at the wrists. This gives Kane a chance to get up though and he whips away at HHH. Wisely though HHH pulls on the chain which pulls at Kane’s bad arm to reshift the momentum. The Game goes up top and hits a double axe for two. Apparently you can only win by pinfall. Eh it’s not like they use submissions anyway I guess.

 

Out to the floor again for more dominance by HHH. He sends Kane back into the ring and grabs a chair but Kane pulls on the chain and it rams HHH’s head into the chair and busts him open BAD. Kane wakes up now and Katie Vick’s best friend is on offense. He chokes away with the chain and it’s back out to the floor again.

 

HHH gets hung over the top rope via the chain as it’s almost all Kane at this point. He goes up but HHH pulls the chain and the Big Fried Freak comes flying down. Back to the floor again with HHH being thrown into the crowd. After some brief offense by HHH, Kane slams him off the railing and back to ringside.

 

Back in the Pedigree is blocked and Kane gets a low blow. Big shot with the chain puts the Game down. Top rope chain shot by Kane sets up the chokeslam but here’s Austin. He’s out before I can finish that sentence though and HHH gets a low blow. Austin however grabs a chair to swing at Kane but hits HHH in the head (kind of. It was more like he swung too high and hit both guys at once). Kane dumps Austin and covers HHH for the pin and the title.

 

Rating: C-. Just ok here with these two guys having a severe lack of chemistry. It’s passable but at the same time there’s nothing special going on here at all. The chain thing was pretty pointless and didn’t really play into the ending at all for the most part. This could have been no holds barred but they were doing that in the main event so I can let that slide. Not much here though but it could have been worse.

 

We still don’t know who Jericho’s tag partner is and he hints that it’s Coach. He says his partner is a real party animal. Oh blast it he picked Percy Watson. Jericho says that if they don’t win, they’re at least taking Edge and Christian with them.

 

HHH rants about Austin and Vince says keep it together.

 

Tag Team Turmoil

 

It’s a tag team gauntlet match with the winners being #1 contenders. We open with APA vs. Dean Malenko/Perry Saturn. There are seven teams total in this. The Radicalz spring into the ring with Saturn suplexing Farrooq for no cover. Dean vs. Farrooq to start us off officially. Double clothesline puts both guys down. Another suplex to Bradshaw but Farrooq hits Saturn with a big old spinebuster and this doesn’t make it to two minutes.

 

Dudleys in next. To the shock of no one this is a brawl to start us off. Powerslam by Farrooq to D-Von gets two. Spike is here with the Dudleys. Off to Bubba now and the Dudleys control. Off to Bradshaw who beats up the Bully. Clothesline from JBL misses and Bubba lands a side slam for two and it’s back off to D-Von. Dang when did I become such a play by play man?

 

The fans want tables. Fallaway slam puts D-Von down as Bradshaw takes over again. Everything breaks down with Bubba and Farrooq hitting the floor. That doesn’t last long though as Bradshaw gets caught in a Doomsday Device and then What’s Up to Farrooq. It’s Table Time but Bob Holly of all people shows up to hit the Alabama Slam to D-Von. Clothesline from JBL ends Farrooq in the ring and the APA advances again.

 

Next up is X-Factor, which means Justin Credible and a clean shaven X-Pac. Albert, the third part of the group, is on the floor. Farrooq vs. X-Pac to start for a bit and now it’s off to Bradshaw. Bradshaw easily overpowers him as you would expect so it’s off to Justin now. Out to the floor where Albert, the guy that would actually win the IC Title from Kane, takes Bradshaw down for Justin.

 

Farrooq comes in now as the APA is getting a bit tired here. Leg Drop gets two. Why in the world was X-Pac given a stable of his own? Who thought that was a good idea? Nice powerslam by Farrooq gets two and it’s off to the future JBL. Bradshaw tries the fallaway slam to Pac but Albert trips him up and holds the foot down to eliminate the APA.

 

In fifth are the Hardys. Shoot no Lita. Matt is European Champion here. The Hardys dominate to start with Justin in trouble. Pac pulls the rope down and Jeff goes sailing to the floor. To be fair he’s probably high already so he didn’t feel a thing. Pac comes in and hits Jeff with the Bronco Buster. Ross says he’s graduated from Sidekick School. Is Marty Jannetty the mascot?

 

Medium tag to Matt who cleans house. Poetry in Motion sets up the Swanton but Albert pulls Matt out. Jeff takes out Matt and Albert in a big dive. A superkick from Justin to Matt gets rid of the Hardys in an upset. Jericho and his mystery partner are in next. He comes out on his own first but waves out Chris Benoit. Well I think we know the winners already here.

 

They storm the ring and the fight is on. Jericho knocks Albert down but tries to dive on him and is rammed into the post. Remember that this is technically Benoit’s fourth match in about two hours. The traditional tagging part begins with Pac vs. Benoit with Jericho down on the floor. Benoit is sitting in the corner and Justin manages to pick him up by his legs and hits a sitout powerbomb for two.

 

We hit the chinlock which Benoit fights out of with relative ease. Pac vs. Benoit again as Jericho hasn’t been in legally yet. He takes way too long setting up the Bronco Buster and Benoit moves, allowing him to bring in Jericho. The Canadian cleans house and chops away on Pac. Middle rope dropkick gets two for Jericho and we get some mild heel miscommunication.

 

Albert beats up Benoit on the floor and the referee is taken down. X-Factor hits double superkicks to Jericho but they only get two. They try a double team move but Benoit crotches X-Pac. Albert comes in and that doesn’t go well for baldie. Double suplex to Justin sets up the double submission on X-Factor. The final pairing is Benoit/Jericho vs. Edge/Christian. What a shocker.

 

Benoit gets dropped face first into the steps by Christian while it’s Jericho vs. Edge in the ring. Christian vs. Jericho at the moment as this is a very Canadian heavy match. I’m a bit confused as Jericho and Benoit were in a different corner against X-Pac than they are now. Jericho is bleeding from the mouth a bit as we’re back to the chinlock by Edge at this point.

 

Christian gets a backbreaker for two on Jericho as apparently the referee is Canadian too. Edge hammers away on Jericho but misses a dropkick. Lionsault gets knees though so we’re not done yet. Edge gets slammed into the mat and it’s off to Benoit. He ducks an incoming Christian who hits Edge by mistake and then gets a HUGE German on Christian for two.

 

Everything breaks down and the team that used to be brothers but are now friends take over again. They try a double team move but Jericho intercepts Edge and it’s a Doomsday Device with Benoit hitting a dropkick on Christian. Edge saves and DDTs Benoit for no cover. Out to the floor and Edge and Christian grab chairs. Stereo baseball slides take care of them though and the other Canadians pick up the chairs.

 

Edge spears Benoit and Jericho gets rolled up for two. Edge and Christian grab the chairs again but Benoit ducks and grabs the Crossface out of nowhere on Christian. Edge is taken out by Jericho and Benoit makes Christian tap to earn the spot against Austin and HHH which they would use in an epic match the next night on Raw.

 

Rating: B. That’s for the whole thing. Some of it was indeed kind of stupid but at the same time the ending match was great. This was one of the better matches of this kind that you’ll see as other than the first fall, everything could have at least been on Raw. This was perfectly fine and it worked rather well I thought. Fun stuff.

 

We recap Austin vs. Taker. Read the Kane vs. HHH recap but here the idea is that Austin is power crazed and made a fake phone call to Taker, telling him that his wife was in a bad car wreck so that Austin and HHH could beat on Kane with no worries of Taker. This didn’t go well as tonight it’s time for Taker’s revenge.

 

Here’s Vince as JR messes up Vince’s job title. Apparently the boss will be joining us on commentary.

 

WWF World Title: The Undertaker vs. Steve Austin

 

This is no holds barred remember. Could these two PLEASE have a good match? They have some of the worst chemistry you’ll ever find but hopefully they can get something going here. Taker jumps the champion in the aisle and the fight is on. All Taker so far as it’s Revenge Mode Taker here. He manages to hit Old School on the floor using the railing. That was rather different.

 

Back out to the floor again after about 8 seconds in the ring. Austin tries to whip Taker into the railing which gets him nowhere at all. Fire extinguisher to the face of the champion and Austin is reeling. Back the to ring but Taker gives Austin a chance to breathe by grabbing a chair. Austin manages to fight back a bit and hitting a neckbreaker. He goes for the knee but misses a chair shot and here comes Taker again.

 

Big clothesline sets up a powerslam attempt but Austin escapes. Stunner doesn’t work and a big boot from Taker gets two. Back to the floor one more time and Taker goes after Vince, allowing Austin to get a shot in to take over a bit. He wraps Taker’s left leg around the post multiple times. Ross keeps ranting about how Austin changed and Heyman says Austin said for four years “Don’t Trust Anybody.” Ross of course has nothing but tries to say Heyman doesn’t know what he’s talking about. I love Heyman at times.

 

Back in the ring again and Austin works on the knee even more. Austin grabs a leg lock and Taker rams his head with elbows. A pair of low blows puts Taker right back down as the fans chant that Austin Sucks. Taker uses the good leg to ram Austin’s head and he’s on his feet now. He has one good leg though so he sends Austin to the floor for a bit. What an original idea in this match.

 

It’s table time as Heyman tells Taker that the Spanish guys are over there in a funny line. Chokeslam through the table and Austin is in trouble. BUT WHAT ABOUT THE DIET SODAS??? Austin’s back is bleeding as he kicks out at two in the ring from that chokeslam. Wow that was a badly written sentence. Elbow drop gets two and the fans are into this. Vince is off commentary now.

 

We hit the floor for I think the fifth time in about fifteen minutes and Austin hits Taker with a monitor to take over. Taker is busted now. Back in the ring and they slug it out. Taker sends him into the ropes but gets caught by a Lou Thesz Press which is booed out of the building. I could do without Ross saying “who is this man” and the like.

 

Austin gets a low blow and it’s clear both of them are getting tired. He does that move where the other guy is in a 619 position and he runs at them to jump on their back. What is that move called anyway? Heyman points out he does know both of these guys as he managed both of them early in the year. Sleeper by Austin as JR needs to stop running his mouth.

 

Taker reverses with a suplex but Austin cracks him with the chair to put him down one more time. Now the fans like Austin. This is an odd crowd. Austin sets for the Stunner so Taker flips him off. Stunner gets two and a big pop for the kickout. Austin wears him out with the chair which apparently doesn’t do much since Taker hits the chokeslam a few seconds later.

 

Instead of covering though Austin grabs the chair and beats Austin a few times with it. Ok make it a lot of times. HHH comes down with the sledgehammer and gets beaten down as well. Taker covers Austin but Vince breaks it up. He beats on the boss and manages to avoid an Austin chair shot which ends Vince. Sledgehammer to the head of Taker ends it as Kane’s pyro and music hits. NICE TIMING LITTLE BROTHER!

 

Rating: C. Nothing great at all here but it’s one of their better matches. The booking at the end makes some sense I guess but I’m still not a fan of it. WAY too much going to the floor here but overall the match worked pretty well. Taker looked pretty good out there as did Austin. Not that any of that matters as due to HHH being injured they had to hotshot the Alliance but what are you going to do?

 

Overall Rating: C+. Not an awful show but really nothing great. There’s nothing worth going out of your way to see other than maybe Angle vs. Benoit. Those two have had FAR better matches though so it’s nothing that’s required viewing. The company was clearly going down slightly at this point but the Invasion would help a bit. Anyway, nothing special here and not really worth seeing.

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