Monday Night Raw
Date: September 12, 2011
Location: Scotiabank Place, Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

It’s the go home show for Night of Champions and we still have no midcard title matches. The show should be interesting but I’m not wild on them giving us HHH vs. Punk already. Anyway tonight we’re in Canada or Bizarro Land as WWE likes to call it. According to Del Rio on a radio show Bret will be there and there’s nothing wrong with bringing him in for a Canada show. Let’s get to it.

Alberto is in the ring to open the show and he talks about not getting respect. He lists off some accomplishments such as retiring Edge, injuring Rey and beating Punk at Summerslam. He wants respect and here’s Bret. He talks about how you get respect and how Del Rio is all flash and talk. Bret is stumbling over lines and misspeaking. He’s got his glasses on so he might be a bit drunk. Del Rio says Breth is old and looks like an illegal Canadian that cleans his house.

Del Rio threatens him with violence and here’s Cena. Cena says he sees a Hall of Famer. He talks about how Del Rio has run from Cena for weeks now and says he should drive back to Mexico. Cena gets in a good line, listing off features of the cars (Cena being a known car guy) and saying Del Rio has no idea what he’s talking about. He says let’s fight right now and Del Rio agrees. Cena is STUNNED, but Del Rio means Cena vs. Ricardo Cena says the crowd noise makes him have ideas and the crowd actually cheers him. He suggests Alberto vs. Bret for the title tonight. Bret takes off the jacket and glasses and the fans erupt.

And never mind as Johnny Ace comes out and makes a tag match instead.

Alex Riley/John Morrison vs. Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger

Only Morrison gets the tail end of an entrance here. That’s a good way to save some time. Morrison and Ziggy start us off with Morrison taking over, hitting a huge Beautiful Disaster (yes I know that’s what Cody calls it but it’s the same move) and Ziggler sells it perfectly. Morrison misses a charge into the corner and his arm hits the post. Big elbow drop gets two for Dolph.

A double tag brings in Riley and Swagger with Riley hitting a worse than usual spinebuster. He clears house and hits an STO on Swagger for two. He needs to stick with the DDT and tries one on Swagger but is countered into the ankle lock. Riley rolls through it to send Swagger into Ziggler. A TKO ends Swagger at 2:50 with Ziggler not breaking up the pin despite there being no one to stop him. Ziggler yells at Vickie post match, calling Swagger a loser.

Miz and Truth take a walk with a mic and says just getting a tag match isn’t enough to calm them down. Miz does the talking and runs down the talking segment with HH and Punk later. Truth says he thinks HHH has made a good decision. Miz: “Really?” Truth: “Ninja please!” Miz: “What did you just say?” Truth: “I said Ninja WAZZAH please”. That was one of the funniest lines I’ve heard in a long time.

They come into the arena minus music (nice touch of realism) and Truth says HHH is COO. If you say that twice you get Cuckoo, and that’s what HHH is. The two of them should be in the main event of every PPV and they’ll prove it right now.

Kofi Kingston vs. The Miz

This is after a break. Kofi does his thing and speeds it up to start. They exchange leapfrogs and go to the floor in a heap. Bourne and Truth glare at each other as we take a break. Back with Miz holding a chinlock until he shifts to ram Kofi’s head into the mat for what looked like three but was called two. They seem off for some reason. Kofi hits a jumping double stomp and both guys are down.

This match is a mess and I can’t get into it at all. Kofi starts his comeback and misses the kick but Truth gets involved anyway. He trips Kofi a bit and Miz is able to hit the Finale (screw writing out the whole title even though it would have been shorter than this part I’m writing here) for the pin at 8:39 total.

Rating: D. I know this is probably low and I won’t defend it that much but dang man I couldn’t get into this. There was nothing here that made me want to watch the match and I was terribly bored by it. They were a step off the whole way through and it didn’t work for me. I could see some people liking it though.

Teddy tells Vickie that the tag match earlier will be a fatal fourway for the US Title Sunday and Vickie freaks. Kelly is allegedly looking at them so Vickie yells at her. Vickie says she could beat Kelly. You know the rest.

We get a clip of Lawler/Ryder beating Otunga/McGillicutty last week. Tonight it’s a rematch and Lawler has a mystery partner. They’re in the ring and run their mouths a bit about how awesome they are. Lawler says McGillicutty has nothing on his daddy and Otunga failed his charisma classes at Harvard. Here’s the partner.

Jerry Lawler/Sheamus vs. David Otunga/Michael McGillicutty

Gee Lawler got over Sheamus kicking his head off in MSG a few years back. Lawler starts with Otunga but off to McMynameshouldbeJoeHennig quickly. If you can’t figure out what’s happening in this, too bad because I’m not feeling the review for it. Sheamus, Brogue Kick, Celtic Cross, McGillicutty, 2:30. The former champs were on offense about 20 seconds and I think you can fill in the blanks yourselves.

Ricardo is doing push-ups when Del Rio comes in to yell at him. He drinks….an aphrodisiac….and goes back to push-ups. Weird.

Bret Hart/John Cena vs. Alberto Del Rio/Ricardo Rodriguez

Cena and Ricardo start us off and John plays matador with his shirt. I prefer Tito. The match is exactly what you would expect: Del Rio runs away while Cena destroys Ricardo. Del Rio comes in for a bit and doesn’t stay in long. Alberto finally leaves and after Cena leaves him laying, Bret hooks a Sharpshooter for the submission at 3:15. Total comedy match.

Rating: C. What were you expecting here? I won’t call this a failure because the point of this was to let the fans see their hero and see him put the Sharpshooter on someone for an easy submission. There’s not a thing wrong with that at all and that worked fine. However the lack of anything resembling a build for Cena vs. Del Rio has me not caring even more. Fine for what it was.

Video on 9/11 and Smackdown airing two days later. That was indeed cool. Cena is narrating this.

Kelly Kelly vs. Vickie Guerrero

Kelly embarrasses her for a bit and then Jack comes down after Dolph. They get into an argument and Kelly rolls up a distracted Vickie at 1:20.

This show has been….what’s the right word…..REALLY BORING.

Video on HHH. He’s back in the ring on Sunday. I never would have gotten that guys.

Mark Henry says he’ll be champion Sunday and he wants to be.

Randy Orton vs. Cody Rhodes

Cody pounds Randy down into the corner and that doesn’t go all that well for him. Henry comes out so Orton grabs a chair and starts walking up the ramp, making Henry leave. Rhodes tries to jump him and that doesn’t go well at all. Orton stomps him down in the corner and beats up Rhodes a bit. Henry comes back with a chair of his own and sits down on the stage.

Orton goes up after him but is unarmed as the chair he had was dropped between the ring and stage. He goes back to Rhodes instead and walks into a Beautiful Disaster off the apron as we take a break. Back with Rhodes holding a crossface chicken wing and working on the arm. There’s a fan in the crowd with an old school IC Belt. Henry moves the chair closer to the ring. Rhodes escapes the elevated DDT but Orton escapes CrossRhodes and hits the DDT anyway. It’s RKO time and Henry gets up and onto the steps, distracting Orton enough for a mask shot. CrossRhodes ends this at 10:24. Expect a rubber match Friday.

Rating: C. Not as good as Friday but not bad. Henry distracting Orton was good as he’s getting into his head and making him lose. Rhodes getting exposure like this is a good thing and the pin not being clean means nothing for the most part, at least to me. Not much here but for the main event this was ok, especially on a throwaway show like this one.

Henry hits him with a chair post match and yells a lot.

We get a quick recap of last week with HHH and Nash imploding.

Here are HHH and Punk for the final encounter. They talk about how Punk is held down because of the bodybuilder fetish and HHH retorts with Shawn Michaels, Mick Foley and someone else that I don’t remember. Punk says the company doesn’t listen to the fans which HHH disagrees with. Punk talks about the fans cheering for him at MSG and then nothing happened.

HHH runs down Punk’s resume and says those sound like opportunities to him. He’s got a great point there. HHH references the Cena story Punk told a few weeks ago and talks about Cena being the biggest star in this business by winning the fans over. He’s absolutely right. HHH talks about how it’s all about the fans and Punk cuts him off, saying they’re cheering for me. HHH gets in the reality though: where have those fans been the last six years?

HHH goes on a huge rant about how Punk has a different philosophy and he’s wrong. He goes on a better rant about how this is personal and not business because Punk made it personal. Punk says this is about change and this isn’t Punk talking to HHH. It’s Phil Brooks talking to Paul Levesque. The mic cuts out on Punk but then it comes on for HHH. It goes off again for Punk and Punk freaks.

HHH doesn’t get what’s going on and gets another mic. HHH hands it to Punk and it goes upside his head. Punk leaves him laying to end the show. The intensity from HHH was great here and he leaves Punk saying something like “well yeah I haven’t drawn ever and I was given a bunch of chances and I never really got them to work except this one but I’m still the best because I say so.”

Overall Rating: D. This was one of the least interesting Raws I’ve seen in years. There were long stretches where I was barely paying attention to the show. Point blank, that NEVER happens with me. I get that Monday Night Football is back but could they have something resembling effort? I have no idea who Cody is facing, I have zero desire to see Cena vs. Del Rio and Punk vs. HHH didn’t need more of a build. Bad show this week and in a boring way.

Results
Alex Riley/John Morrison b. Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger – TKO to Swagger
The Miz b. Kofi Kingston – Skull Crushing Finale
Sheamus/Jerry Lawler b. David Otunga/Michael McGillicutty – Celtic Cross to McGillicutty
John Cena/Bret Hart b. Ricardo Rodriguez/Alberto Del Rio – Sharpshooter to Rodriguez
Kelly Kelly b. Vickie Guerrero – Rollup
Cody Rhodes b. Randy Orton – CrossRhodes

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 5, 2011
Location: Nationwide Arena, Columbus, Ohio
Commentators: Jim Ross, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

We’re two weeks from Night of Champions and we have a lot of the card starting to be filled in. HHH vs. Punk is already happening this early which really surprises me. We also have Cena vs. Del Rio and the champ will actually be back tonight after getting his work visa stuff straightened out. Other than that we know the titles will be on the line but we’re not sure who will be challenging. Let’s get to it.

We open with a long montage of HHH vs. Punk and the Nash factor too. When I say long I mean like three or four minutes.

Here’s the Cult of Personality to open things up. He talks about how he’s different and doesn’t have a filter from his brain to his mouth. That also makes him a target and tonight he’s against R-Truth. He’d rather be facing Kevin Nash because he’s the status quo. He doesn’t buy that Nash and HHH are arguing, so right now he’s offering Nash an open forum to come and face him like a man.

Here’s Nash who talks about how he’s not apologizing for what he did last week. Punk runs down all of Nash’s nicknames (SUPER SHREDDER!!!!!) and Nash isn’t thrilled. He says Punk should be thankful for HHH pulling him out of the match because he’d kill Punk. Punk says Nash hasn’t been relevant since 1994 and that brings Nash closer to the ring.

HHH comes out and Nash says HHH needs to get rid of Punk who is a cancer. I hate that word being used in wrestling, I really do. HHH says he found some stuff out this week. The Staples Center (the place Summerslam was held) found some security footage which shows who sent the text from HHH’s phone. The person that sent the text to Nash from HHH’s phone was…..Nash.

Nash says that’s true and he did it so he could make the WWE cool again. One of them (Nash or Punk) has to go. HHH says Punk hasn’t lied to him once and Nash has done nothing but lie since he came back. HHH says he doesn’t want to do this and Nash freaks out. He gets in HHH’s face and HHH blasts him and then fires him before leaving. Punk talks some trash and we take a break.

Nash is trying to leave and Johnny Ace gets in his car after looking around first.

Evan Bourne/Kofi Kingston vs. Jinder Mahal/Great Khali

They’re officially Air Boom. Justin Roberts told me so. This is non-title. Mahal vs. Bourne to start us off and Bourne tries to speed things up but gets caught in the face by a jumping knee. Lawler has to fight either Otunga or McGillicutty later tonight. Khali comes in and beats up Bourne for a bit and it’s back to Jinder. Bourne gets in a shot and there’s the hot tag to Kofi. He beats up Mahal but is sent to the floor by Khali. Khali sends Kofi back in but misses a chop, hitting Mahal instead. That sets up the Shooting Star for the pin at 3:15.

Rating: C. This match made perfect sense. The champions couldn’t hang against the two bigger guys physically so they used teamwork to escape with the win. I liked this and it’s cool to see a team thrown together actually working as a unit and having some chemistry. You can get good teams out of that and it’s working here.

Kelly is on commentary for the next match.

Beth Phoenix vs. Eve Torres

Winner gets Kelly at the PPV. No chance for Natalya? And why not exactly? Beth has the skirt/shorts look back. Nattie sits in on commentary also, giving us five total people out there. Eve tries what looked to be a monkey flip but slips. Beth uses power and sends her shoulder first into the post. Natalya and Kelly are arguing over what Divas should be like the whole match. Eve misses a kick out of the corner and gets caught in the Glam Slam for the pin at 2:03. This was really, REALLY sloppy looking.

Nattie decks Kelly post match.

Drew McIntyre is talking to Christian who wants ONE MORE shot. Drew says he deserves one shot at….something but he’s cut off by Alberto. Del Rio talks about how he expected Christian to be champion here. The reason he doesn’t is John Cena. Christian cuts him off and says this is the part where Del Rio wants him to fight Del Rio’s battles for him right? Del Rio points out that Cena gave him an AA last week and the next night Christian had the cage match. He leaves the Canadian with that thought.

Inside Out trailer because we need to be reminded about it in case we happen to live in one of the 10 cities it’s showing in.

Truth vs. Punk next.

R-Truth vs. CM Punk

The Truth has now set him free instead of shall set him free. Miz is nowhere to be seen even though he was coming to the ring with Truth before the break. He wants to know why Punk is different because he was telling the truth the whole time before Punk was. Maybe he should buy a ticket to Night of Champions so he can stuff his face with popcorn.

This brings out Miz who says there’s a conspiracy and that HHH is in way over his head. Miz is going to do HHH’s job for him: at the PPV they’re getting the tag title match. They make fun of the name Air Boom and it isn’t funny. Punk is about to get got. Miz has a satellite radio show now. Punk controls early with a headlock and Jerry has to get us back onto the match while Cole starts ranting against Ross a bit.

Punk hits a suicide dive to take Truth out but Miz moves to avoid it. While still on the floor Miz gets a shot in to Punk’s knee and Truth takes over. This show and this match in particular are just dragging. I know they were in Europe this past week (the SD guys were) but this has been very lackluster. Truth throws on a half crab while the announcers spend the entire match talking about HHH and how he’s failing running the company. Truth goes up very slowly and Punk pops him in the head.

Punk goes up for a superplex and is at least selling the knee. He goes all the way up too and the superplex puts both guys down. Punk gets a hobbling knee in the corner and the bulldog to follow. The springboard clothesline hits and Punk is rapidly getting louder and louder face pops. The knee gives out on the GTS and Truth hits the sitout gordbuster for two. Punk takes out Miz and there goes the plaid! Miz gets ejected but Punk gets hit in the back while watching it. Not that it matters because the GTS ends Truth clean at 9:45.

Rating: D+. I wasn’t into this one. Punk’s selling was good but at the same time the parts where Truth was in control were really boring. Punk’s face pops are interesting as the fans are getting more and more into his offense. It wasn’t horrible but Truth is really boring to me in the ring anymore.

HHH comes out post match and Punk says he still doesn’t believe Nash and HHH aren’t in on it together still. HHH calls Punk Obama since he wants change. The match at NOC is now no DQ and afterwards Punk might get fired. Punk says that’s cool but he wants one more thing: if HHH loses, he resigns as COO. HHH says done and leaves.

Some guy I don’t recognize (apparently Curt Hawkins) is talking to Tyler Reks and Wade Barrett. Del Rio interrupts and gives the same kind of speech to Barrett that he gave to Christian. Yes pick the guy that lost to Cena in three minutes last week.

The WWE Network is coming in 2012.

We get a quick recap of last week with Lawler insulting McGillicutty and Otunga and them getting in his face.

There’s a tag team match this week and Lawler has a mystery partner: Zack Ryder. We get a video of Ryder, complete with a big montage of his show and Cena appearing on it. I guess this is his official face turn.

Jerry Lawler/Zack Ryder vs. David Otunga/Michael McGillicutty

Ryder gets beaten down for the early part of the match while Cole makes fun of his Youtube show. After about a minute it’s a hot tag to Lawler and he cleans house with punches and a dropkick. The middle rope punch hits and Ryder wants in. He hits the Rough Ryder on Otunga and we’re done in 2:00. This was fine.

Del Rio tries to get Ziggler to do his thing. The Bellas come up and hit on him. He says hang on a sec and keeps going on Ziggler, implying Vickie is cheating on him….kind of.

Randy Orton vs. Heath Slater

Slater is sent into the post about 5 seconds into this and Orton hammers him down. Orton stomps away and hits the knee drop. Slater pokes him in the eye and gets an enziguri for two. Spinebuster gets two. Orton fakes Slater out and takes over again. There’s the powerslam and the elevated DDT. RKO and we’re done at 2:57. Just a quick match that wasn’t quite a squash.

Ryder is talking to Cena and is filming his show at the same time. He puts sunglasses on Cena and Cena asks who wears sunglasses indoors. Cena is up next.

Here’s Cena who says Happy Labor Day. This is just for talking and I don’t think there’s a main event match set up yet. Cena wants to get his hands on Alberto but the champ keeps ducking him. We get a Tattoo from Fantasy Island reference which makes sense when you think about Ricardo being about two feet shorter. Here’s Alberto in a car which Cena thinks he doesn’t know the name of.

Del Rio talks about how he’s trying to protect Cena. However, he can’t say that about these guys, and here are Barrett and Swagger. Ziggler joins in also and here’s Christian to make it 4-1. Alex Riley and Sheamus come out as does Morrison, running along the railing as he comes. I think I smell an 8 man tag. Teddy comes out and says he has some authority when necessary around here. You know the drill here but in a little twist, this is under elimination rules ala Survivor Series. That helps a bit. The bell is after a break.

John Cena/Sheamus/Alex Riley/John Morrison vs. Dolph Ziggler/Christian/Wade Barrett/Jack Swagger

Survivor Series rules remember. The match is in progress as we come back with Barrett vs. Riley and no eliminations so far. Barrett hits a Boss Man Slam for two. We came back at 10:53 so this is going to go fast probably. Riley manages to send Barrett into the corner and it’s off to Morrison and Ziggler. Morrison takes down the entire heel team and avoids a rollup. Christian comes in and gets kicked in the head. Morrison’s partners have no issue with letting him get beaten down 4-1.

Swagger tags in and we get a double submission attempt. With ZERO help from his partners, Morrison has to tap out. Here’s Vickie with Swagger looking at her. We take after less than three minutes. Back with Ziggler hammering away on Riley with no extra eliminations during the break. Riley fights back and hits that sweet spinebuster of his. And never mind as he walks into a Fameasser for two.

Swagger tags himself in again and gets in an argument with Ziggler. Riley rolls through the ankle lock but gets caught by a Vader Bomb and is put right back into it for Swagger’s second submission of the match, making it 4-2. Sheamus is in now and gets his head kicked off by Barrett.

That only gets two and Sheamus wakes up to pound away on Barrett like the true brawler he is. Top rope shoulder block hits and Sheamus pops Ziggler to break up interference. Brogue Kick misses but the pumphandle slam is broken up. Brogue Kick ends Barrett and here’s Christian. It’s Cena/Sheamus vs. Swagger/Christian/Ziggler at this point. Killswitch is countered and Christian is sent to the apron where he slaps Sheamus.

Old pasty chases him around the ring and knocks down Ziggler in the process. They go into the crowd for a chase scene and then up the ramp for the double countout, putting us at 2-1. Gee I wonder how this is going to end. He gets Swagger first and team heel takes over. Vickie is all smiley as Swagger beats on Cena. Cena fires back and goes into his finishing sequence.

Cena hits a double Five Knuckle Shuffle to them but walks into a side slam kind of move from Swagger. Vader Bomb hits and now Ziggler tags himself in with some nice psychology there. He walks into the AA though and it’s one on one. Swagger grabs the ankle lock but Cena rolls through into the STF for the tap at 17:42.

Rating: C. Eh not bad here but so what? This doesn’t advance Cena vs. Del Rio or anything which is something that we’re desperately needing at this point. I’m really getting tired of these pretty pointless tag team main events though as they’re not getting us anywhere, especially when it comes to the world title match.

Del Rio runs in, takes an AA and is right back out again. Cena poses to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. I wasn’t feeling this one at all. It felt like a throwaway show and that’s not good this close to NOC. Alberto vs. Cena feels like it has zero attention to it while HHH vs. Punk is being pushed to the moon to try to stop the feeling that it’s being used way too early. The problem with NOC is there really are no stories needed for most of these matches and it’s showing here as there’s no reason to have a lot of the matches and a lot of people will be left off the show. Bad Raw tonight and I wasn’t impressed at all for the most part.

Results

Evan Bourne/Kofi Kingston b. Jinder Mahal/Great Khali – Shooting Star Press to Mahal

Beth Phoenix b. Eve Torres – Glam Slam

CM Punk b. R-Truth – GTS

Jerry Lawler/Zack Ryder b. David Otunga/Michael McGillicutty – Rough Ryder to Otunga

Randy Orton b. Heath Slater – RKO

John Cena/Alex Riley/Sheamus/John Morrison b. Christian/Jack Swagger/Dolph Ziggler/Wade Barrett – Cena last eliminated Swagger with the STF to win

Smackdown
Date: August 30, 2011
Location: Intrust Bank Arena, Wichita, Kansas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Josh Matthews

It’s the live show tonight and the main event is Christian vs. Orton 4985 for the title in a cage match. It’s a double branded show and hopefully we’ll get the announcement that Raw guys will also appear on Smackdown. Anyway this should be fun as the live shows are usually better. Let’s get to it.

Punk and HHH will sign their contract tonight.

Do You Know Your Enemy? Mine is the Detroit Tigers who won’t let my Indians get back in contention.

Here’s Cena to open the show. He’s not sure what day it is. I kind of like him talking on the way to the ring. Don’t adjust your sets because this is Smackdown, it is Tuesday and we are live. He lists off a bunch of shows that are here, ranging from Raw to Smackdown to Nitro to Smokey Mountain Wrestling to the XFL superstars. Scratch that XFL idea because that was worse than the Shockmaster.

He calls out Alberto and the music plays but it’s Rodriguez instead. He says that Cena has to wait a bit longer to be in the ring with Del Rio and actually speaks English for a bit. And scratch that as it’s time for the full entrance. Not that Del Rio is here due to visa issues but whatever. Ricardo keeps saying Del Rio’s name over and over until Cena shouts at him. Cena has a gift for Alberto though. It’s a right hand and down goes Ricardo.

Here’s Barrett or as Cena says “Mr. Winds of Change” himself. Barrett yells at Cena for beating up the fat ring announcer which gets us a Tony Chimmel reference. They argue back and forth a bit and the bell is after the break.

Wade Barrett vs. John Cena

Cena pounds him down into the corner and Barrett is reeling early. Headlock takeover puts Barrett down again but the British dude gets a shot in to take over. Cena doesn’t like being in trouble though so he hits a sitout powerslam to put Barrett down again. Boss Man Slam gets two for Wade. They’re going through this kind of fast and it’s making it a weaker match. Case in point we’re less than three minutes in and Cena is on his finishing sequence including the Protobomb and Shuffle. The AA hits and Cena wins 100% clean at 3:17.

Rating: D+. Uh….what was that? I mean I knew Cena was going to dominate but Barrett got in a total of one move of note which was the Boss Man Slam. I really don’t get this one at all and while it’s not like Barrett is buried now (since anyone that ever loses to a bigger star is instantly buried if you read things on the internet) this was a bit harsh on him.

Henry doesn’t care who wins tonight. He says Striker asked a dumb question when he asked what a cage match was like.

Sin Cara vs. Daniel Bryan

This should be good. Cara hits some arm drags to take over and grabs an armbar. Bryan gets a kick to the chest in and the suicide dive/shove to take over. He’s looking a bit mad tonight for some reason. Here come the kicks from Daniel Bryan: Male Rockette. Off to a surfboard but he’s no Rob Van Dam so it doesn’t work. Instead he drops Cara down into a dragon sleeper which was pretty cool. Bryan is backdropped to the floor and Cara manages to avoid missing a dive but the second, a springboard spinning cross body to the floor, takes Bryan out.

Back in the swanton gets two but he didn’t try the Lionsault. Bryan gets his moonsault out of the corner and they collide on cross body attempts to put both of them down. They exchange kicks but Cara manages to put him down and hit the swanton/Lionsault combo and gets the pin at 5:03.

Rating: C+. Ok so maybe there is something to the depushed theory. Bryan losing here is rather odd but maybe it leads to a heel turn eventually. I can understand the losses to people like Christian and Del Rio because they’re bigger stars than Bryan. This either says very little about Bryan or says A LOT about Cara. I’m not sure which but I didn’t see that one coming.

They shake hands post match but CARA KICKS HIM IN THE FACE!!! Did Sin Cara just turn heel??? I was referring to a Bryan turn!

Air Boom says they’re awesome and teach Striker the Boom Boom Boom.

Sheamus doesn’t like bullies and you shouldn’t either.

We recap the Orton vs. Christian feud since MITB, which is really all you need to know about the feud.

Christian says this is his night.

Natalya/Beth Phoenix vs. Kelly Kelly/Alicia Fox

Aksana is guest ring announcer which is supposed to be connected to her hitting on Teddy. So Alicia is a face now? Nattie vs. Kelly to start. Kelly looks like the victim of a bubblegum accident. Cold tag to Alicia and after some offense from her, the Glam Slam takes care of this at 2:00.

It’s time for the contract signing and Teddy brings out HHH. He talks about the match a bit and says he’s glad that he gets to take the suit off for one night. The fans seem totally behind Punk. Punk puts his feet on the table and wants to know why we’re here. He thinks HHH has put a stipulation into the contract but HHH says there’s nothing suspicious going on. Punk says there’s nothing HHH can do to surprise him.

Punk interrupts HHH when he talks about respect and for once, someone tells Punk to shut up. HHH says he’s bent over backwards to work with Punk but Punk kept pushing. He wants to know who Punk thinks got Living Color to let the company use Cult of Personality as his theme. Who does Punk think got him that Best in the World shirt? Punk has gotten everything he’s asked for but Punk hasn’t cooperated. Now HHH wants Punk to deal with him like a man.

Punk says he doesn’t want to fight the COO but rather the Cerebral Assassin. Maybe HHH isn’t the right man for the job because just like Vince, he can’t separate the business from the personal stuff. Punk insists he loves the WWE because if he hated it he wouldn’t be sitting here right now. He wants a change and says that he and the fans are dying for a change. Punk says he wants to be a catalyst for that change.

HHH says give me a break because half of the fans agree with him and half of them flat out do not care. Some of the fans like the WWE, which draws a big pop. He’s right too. Punk only wants change if it means Punk is on top. He’s no different than anyone, including HHH. They’d both do whatever it took to get on top but HHH said he’d do whatever it took to get to the top. Punk has no balls though and is trying to sneak his way to the top by pretending to be a martyr.

Punk says if he’s seen as a martyr then maybe he’s doing the right thing. HHH talked about half of the people liking it but Punk wants EVERYONE to like it. Before Punk was a wrestler he was a fan and at his core he’s still that. He’ll do whatever he can do to make this place fun again. The reason he says these things about his wife is because it tests HHH. HHH is just like Vince and is just as egotistical and corrupt as everyone and the hiring of HHH’s old buddies is proof of that.

Punk signs and says that if he has to be the catalyst of change and has to go through HHH to do it, so be it. At Night of Champions, don’t fine him or suspend him after he beats the boss. HHH says the difference between Punk and himself is respect. He respects Vince and says that they wouldn’t be there if not for Vince McMahon. That’s a hard one to argue for Punk I think.

He’s about to say why he’s not like Vince but gets cut off by Punk. Punk calls him short sighted and HHH is living in the past that Vince is trapped in. Punk wants change and HHH says he’ll get it. This is where he’s not like Vince (he signs here) because at NOC he would have gotten in the ring with Punk and taken a beating because it would have been good for business. This isn’t about business and it’s personal.

Here’s Nash and Punk FREAKS. HHH tries to hold him back but the big man gets in there. They slug it out and HHH tries to break it up, allowing Nash to get in a big boot. HHH gets in his face and Nash shoves him down, stunning HHH.

Sheamus vs. Great Khali

Sheamus still has bad ribs. Khali dominates to start and locks in a nerve hold after hammering away on the chest and ribs. Sheamus fights back and hits his forearms while Khali is in the ropes but as he sets for the Brogue Kick, Mahal comes in for the DQ at 2:50. This was nothing.

Post match the Indian dudes try a beatdown but Khali misses the chop and hits the post. A Brogue Kick takes him down and Sheamus beats up Legs Mahal for fun.

Inside Out trailer wastes some time.

There’s a poll for the world title match tonight: Orton wins 85 to 15. DANG.

The cage is lowered and it’s just after 9:30. This is going to get some time.

Smackdown World Title: Christian vs. Randy Orton

In a cage and Orton is champion in case you’re reading this in like 10 years. You can win by pin/submission/escape. I didn’t know the back of the belt was red. They have about 18 minutes left so for a TV main event that’s more than enough. Christian tries two early escapes but Orton saves both times. He tries something off the middle rope but jumps into a dropkick from Randy for two. With that we take an abrupt break less than two minutes into the match.

Back with Christian in control and hammering away in the corner. Orton takes him down with a clothesline and the fans seem to like Orton better. Why do I sound surprised by that? Anyway Christian gets slammed off the top off another escape attempt. A pair of knee drops gets two for Orton. Orton’s escape attempt fails as does the elevated DDT. The Canadian goes up but Orton makes a save again.

They’re really playing up the idea of it could end at a moment’s notice as Orton gets a rollup and Christian gets a spinebuster, both for two. Cole says Christian has been around for 17 years. I don’t know what school he went to but they weren’t noted for their math. Christian gets to the top of the cage but Randy makes another save. They fight on the top rope and Orton snaps off a superplex to put both guys down at break #2.

Back with Christian almost making it and having his hands on the floor but Orton saves again. Orton starts his insane stuff but the elevated DDT is countered again. A shot to the cage is reversed into the falling DDT for two for the Canadian. Christian goes for the escape and even shoves Orton down but he’s feeling froggy and it only gets two.

Orton makes about his 10^th save and avoids a spear. RKO misses and the second spear attempt hits for a close two. The drama in this has been very good. Christian loads up the Punt but Orton avoids it and in a NICE bit of psychology Christian teases his turning dive out of the corner and Orton jumps for an RKO but Christian fakes him out and climbs. Orton stops him again and gets that sweet over the shoulder powerbomb position into a neckbreaker for two. The fans are into this.

Christian tries the Killswitch but Orton escapes and tries the elevated DDT and gets it for once but the RKO is countered. Christian makes a lunge for the climb but Orton makes ANOTHER save. We’re past 10pm now and they’re fighting on the top rope. Christian tries the Killswitch from the top but Orton counters into a SUPER RKO and Christian is dead at 13:35.

Rating: A. I loved this. They played back to stuff from previous matches like the head fake and the idea of it ending at any time was excellent. This match worked incredibly well and the whole thing was great. These two have had the feud of the year in any other year because Cena vs. Punk happened this year. Great stuff again and I’m thinking it happens again at the Cell, but I’m not sure how they get there.

Post match Henry comes out for the beating and Orton is destroyed.  Randy escapes for a bit but Henry takes him down with a clothesline and a splash stops Orton cold.  He gets sent into the cage and takes a World’s Strongest Slam to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. Well the Raw guys didn’t play a huge role here and that’s definitely a good thing. Other than the quick Cena match and the HHH/Punk/Nash thing (which I liked) there wasn’t much of a Raw presence here. The show was entertaining enough and a good main event makes this pretty easily a solid show. Sheamus vs. the Indian dudes is something to do I guess and we have the NOC main event set up now. It wasn’t the huge show they were hoping for but I’d call this a good show, which is the norm on Smackdown for the most part anymore.

Results

John Cena b. Wade Barrett – Attitude Adjustment

Sin Cara b. Daniel Bryan – Lionsault

Natalya/Beth Phoenix b. Kelly Kelly/Alicia Fox – Glam Slam to Fox

Sheamus b. Great Khali via DQ when Jinder Mahal interfered

Randy Orton b. Christian – RKO off the top rope

Monday Night Raw
Date: August 29, 2011
Location: BOK Center, Tulsa, Oklahoma
Commentators: Jim Ross, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s officially Alberto vs. Cena at the PPV but the bigger story at the moment is the conspiracy that Punk thinks is going on against him. According to him, someone wants Alberto to be champion. This opens a lot of doors because the questions of who sent the text message, was Alberto in on it and who is lying to who and who knows what are all in play. Let’s get to it.

The boss opens the show as is the custom recently. He says that for the forseeable future, Raw and Smackdown will be combined to form Raw Supershows. Did the Brand Split just end? I very well may have misunderstood it but that’s what it sounded like. Anyway HHH now wants to talk about the bad part of the job, which in this case is people lying to him which he thinks Nash has done. He calls Nash to the ring but gets someone else instead.

Here’s Punk who is still getting a decent response. He wants to be told that HHH and Nash have been together all along. Cue Nash to the NWO music. Nash admits that he lied about the car wreck last week. Nash yells about Stephanie. For all the references to her, shouldn’t she be here soon? He asks HHH what kind of man HHH is and HHH says the kind that shouldn’t be lied to by his best friend.

HHH can’t trust him anymore and tells Nash to leave now and not come back. Nash doesn’t leave and says he wasn’t lying about the text. While HHH was gone last week, Nash was signed to a contract by Johnny Ace so he has to be fired to be gone. It’s a guaranteed paycheck too so Nash gets paid even if he’s just sitting at home. HHH says he’s not fired but no more lying.

Punk has a sudden viral stomach attack and begins to dry heave all over the ring as he’s sickened by this. He says he’s just acting, exactly like those two are. Punk references the Clique, which is the sound of remotes changing the channel every time Nash is on screen. Also it’s the sound Nash’s knees make when he walks.

Nash says since he’s under contract now, Hunter should book the match everyone wants to see. Punk says let’s do it at NOC and then makes sure the Board, and by that he means Stephanie, is cool with it. HHH may not wear the pants, but he wears Stephanie’s panties. HHH says the match is on for NOC and they can both suck it.

HHH leaves but with Punk and Nash in the ring…here’s Orton? He doesn’t say anything but it’s Orton vs. Ziggler later. In a nice touch we get a little highlight reel of Ziggler with JR narrating about how good he is. That’s EXACTLY what they need to do to save time and still get these guys some mention.

Randy Orton vs. Dolph Ziggler

Ok so it seems it’s just Smackdown guys being on Raw and not vice versa. Well it’s a step in the right direction at least. Vickie is compared to great managers who had a diverse stable. I’d like to see that come back because it gives people some fallback storylines if they’re bored. Orton keeps up the advantage and Ziggler has a noticeable tan line. Vickie gets involved and Ziggler counters the elevated DDT to send Orton to the floor.

Zig Zag on the floor has Orton in trouble. It gets a close 8 count on the floor but Randy gets back in, allowing Dolph to stomp away as we take a break. We’re back on the floor with Orton being rammed into the steps. Swagger is watching in the back. Something resembling a crossface chickenwing by Ziggler and he keeps Randy down even longer.

Dolph goes up and they slug it out with Orton taking over. Superplex by Orton puts both guys down but randy gets two. Here come the clotheslines and Orton is all fired up. Belly to belly gets two. Ziggler gets a Fameasser out of nowhere for a near fall. What might have been a sleeper attempt is countered into a rollup for two. Ziggler channels his inner Hennig and is catapulted into the corner.

Orton busts out his sweet over the shoulder powerbomb into a neckbreaker for two. He loads up the punt but Ziggler NAILS him with a superkick for a very close two. This is starting to get good. Orton teases throwing Ziggler to the floor but stops him at the apron so he can hit the elevated DDT. That was kind of cool. RKO time but Ziggler counters into the sleeper. Orton escapes and tosses him into the air and Ziggler bounces to his feet and a kind of botched RKO (Ziggler didn’t fall fast enough so it was closer to a Stunner) ends this at 12:30.

Rating: B. Solid stuff here as these two continue to have some pretty decent chemistry together. Orton was on his game tonight and had some nice variations on his usual stuff, making it a far better match than he’s used to having. I really liked that toss being caught into the elevated DDT. Good match here and I was really getting into it near the end.

We get a clip of Cena getting beaten down last week and Josh asks him about it, but Cena just walks away and is all mad.

Here’s Cena (saying that you should come see this on his way through the curtain) to talk about Alberto. Cena says that Alberto talks about having honor as a champion but last week he got jumped by the champ in a dishonorable fashion. He calls out Del Rio but gets Mark Henry instead. Henry talks about how he’s hurt everyone in his sight and now he’s going to make Cena join that list. Oh and he’ll win the title at Night of Champions after he beats whoever wins the cage match.

Cue Christian who says he’ll be facing Henry at Night of Champions. But we’ll deal with that later. Right now he wants to tell Cena that he’s tired of John’s whining. Cena says that hasn’t been whining and makes fun of both of them. If they want some, come get some. Christian says let’s do this but here’s Sheamus for the save.

Cena pulls his fist back to punch Sheamus because he’s not sure if he can trust him. That’s BRILLIANT as Sheamus hasn’t had a big change of heart and it wouldn’t be much of a turn for him to beat up Cena too. Christian bails and Henry, realizing he’s outnumbered, thinks better of it and leaves. He doesn’t come off like a coward, keeping his monster levels high. Nice touch again. Man they’re thinking tonight and it’s improving the show massively.

Johnny Ace says the match should be made and HHH comes in and is like dude, I got this covered and says the match is made.

Punk vs. Miz next. I’m DIGGING this brand split ending thing.

CM Punk vs. The Miz

Punk is in the ring post break which is kind of weird. Miz has a mic. Oh I’m liking this. Miz says that he was dropping pipe bombs way before Punk was and he’s much more must see than Punk. Punk takes over early on with his usual assortment of strikes but the Macho Man elbow is broken up. Miz hits his running boot to the head for two.

He hammers away with left hands so Punk fires off some kicks. Short DDT gets two for Miz. Off to the chinlock before a neckbreaker gets two for Miz. Corner clothesline and a double axe off the top get two. Big boot gets two for Miz. This is a much better performance from Miz than I was expecting. After a few more minutes with almost nothing from Punk, Miz sends him to the floor and we take a break.

Back with Miz holding his third chinlock of the night. Punk starts his comeback as Cole is blasting JR and Lawler for every word he says. Punk hits the top rope elbow and loads up the GTS. And never mind as here’s R-Truth for the DQ at 14:00. Man I wish this could have gotten some more time and a proper ending.

Rating: B-. Not as good as the other match but still it was pretty good all things considered. Miz isn’t the kind of guy you want to have long matches but they’re trying at least. Truth coming in is kind of annoying but that fits the story they’ve got going on. Not bad at all and I liked it for the most part.

Punk beats them down but here’s Nash for the distraction so that Miz can take over. Jackknife leaves Punk laying.

Sin Cara vs. Jack Swagger

BIG pop for Cara. No Vickie with Swaggs. The lights start out as normal and then go out a few seconds into it. Cara sends him to the floor and this an Asai Moonsault to take Swagger down. Here comes Vickie as Swagger hits a Vader Bomb and legdrop for a cocky one count. Swagger is in control and here’s Dolph to yell. He goes to the ring and calls Jack a loser. Swagger charges but gets caught by a springboard dornado DDT and the swanton/Lionsault combo for the pin at 2:51. Hunico is WAY more coordinated than Mistico out there.

Tag Titles: Evan Bourne/Kofi Kingston vs. David Otunga/Michael McGillicutty

Kofi’s pyro doesn’t go off for some reason. There was a poll online and the new champions are going to be known as Air Boom. I’ve heard worse. McGillicutty takes over to start on Bourne and hammers away. Bourne gets beaten down as we’re waiting on the hot tag to Kofi and it connects before I can finish typing that sentence. Kofi comes in with a huge springboard chop and things speed up. SOS is countered by Michael but Kofi hits a spinning springboard cross body for two as everything breaks down. Big dive takes out Otunga and Trouble in Paradise ends McGillicutty at 2:25. This was fine.

Post match Otunga gets in Lawler’s face and Daivd takes the headset off him. They stare each other down but nothing else happens.

Kelly Kelly vs. Brie Bella

Oh joy, it’s this match again. Kelly hammers away to start and we cut to Beth and Natalya complaining about someone else that are causing the problems. They should be in the ring, not Kelly. The twins switch places and Nikki gets the pin with an X-Factor at 1:18.

Trailer for HHH’s new movie Inside Out. So how many times are we going to see this over the next few weeks? It’s an action movie about a guy that is trying to reform or is out of prison or something like that. Again though, does anyone care?

Mark Henry/Christian vs. John Cena/Sheamus

Sheamus vs. Henry to start at 11:01. Sheamus pounds him down to a nice reaction but Henry runs him over with a clothesline. The tape on Sheamus’ ribs is taken off and the Great White (yes they’re really calling him that in a feud with a big angry black man) is in trouble. Off to Christian as this is one sided. The not great and not white (I’m just going off what they’re calling his opponent) Henry comes back in and works on the ribs even more.

Christian is back in but he jumps into the Irish Curse and is down. We’re waiting on the hot tag to Cena and are also waiting on Alberto to run in because we haven’t see him all night. Off to Cena who cleans house and the young ones begin to cheer. Christian escapes the AA but can’t get the tornado DDT.

Powerslam puts Christian down but he tries his cross body out of the corner and jumps into the AA which is blocked again. Henry breaks up the STF but misses a charge at Sheamus and they hit the floor. A running shoulder block off the apron takes Henry down and Christian gets a spear for two on Cena for two. Killswitch is countered and Christian is shoved into a Brogue Kick and the AA for the pin at 6:40.

Rating: C. It’s a main event tag and that’s it. There’s nothing too great here but they were trying. It was very reminiscent of a Smackdown main event and that’s fine. With only 7 minutes to work with at the very end of the show there’s only so much that they can do. This wasn’t bad but it worked pretty well.

To end the show, Punk comes in to HHH’s office and the match with Nash is off. Instead, it’s Punk vs. HHH. Oh my.

Overall Rating: B. This was back and forth. The first hour has some HUGE stuff going on including the big white elephant in the room: the brand split being over on Mondays. That breathed a lot of life into this show as you got interactions with guys that haven’t been around each other in awhile. It makes things a lot more fresh and keeps us from having to sit through the same set of matches week in and week out. Definitely a plus there.

The wrestling was great in the first hour with two rather good matches. After that it kept being good but it was a step down. The drama is good stuff right now and the whole show is clicking in a way it hasn’t in a very long time. With the injection of some fresh blood with the Smackdown guys, I’m hyped up for Raw in the future. Good show.

Results

Randy Orton b. Dolph Ziggler – RKO

CM Punk b. The Miz via DQ when R-Truth interfered

Sin Cara b. Jack Swagger – Lionsault

Kofi Kingston/Evan Bourne b. Michael McGillicutty/David Otunga

Brie Bella b. Kelly Kelly – Pin after a facejam from Nikki Bella

John Cena/Sheamus b. Christian/Mark Henry – AA to Christian

At least a little bit it seems as according to HHH on Raw tonight SD guys will be appearing on Raw now.

Thoughts on this?

Monday Night Raw
Date: August 22, 2011
Location: Rexhall Place, Edmonton, Alberta, Canada
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

We’re up north this week and it’s time for the fallout from Cena going Alberto hunting to end last week’s show. Also I’m sure we’ll be getting more out of Punk vs. the establishment in the form of Nash/HHH. This is a hot time for the company so hopefully they can manage to keep it going this week in, as Lawler likes to call it, Bizarro Land. Let’s get to it.

One note: I’m watching a recording so the times on matches with commercials may be a bit inaccurate but I’ll do my best with them.

Here’s Alberto to open the show in a Lamborghini. Sign in the audience: Alberta hates Alberto. That’s cute. He says “my name” and is cut off by My Time Is Now. Cena seems way over here in Canada. He introduces himself to Alberto and calls himself the man that’ll take the championship off Del Rio. Also, he’s going to hurt him so badly that Del Rio is going to run back to his parents’ house because he’s tired of the flea market scarves, the second rate help and the rented luxury cars. This is serious Cena.

Cena says he’s tired of seeing average people like Del Rio because there’s only one person in this company that can go toe to toe with Cena. He’s looking at Del Rio and doesn’t see CM Punk so he’s not looking at anything better than average. Cue Punk who says Cean shouldn’t get another title shot. Punk beat him twice in big matches and would be champion if not for Alberto cashing in (which he’s cool with).

Punk and Cena argue a bit and Alberto cuts them off (Cena: Hey look it’s captain third wheel), saying it’s his time. Alberto says get out of here in Spanish. Punk says never cut him off again. He says his cashing in were both better than Alberto’s. He knows that everyone is out to get him, including Del Rio, HHH, Nash and maybe even Jack Tunney. However, Cena needs to pay attention because just after Punk insulted Stephanie at the PPV, he gets jumped. The reason Cena needs to pay attention is if he had beaten Punk, the text would have said “take out Cena”.

Punk thinks someone wants Alberto to be champion. Punk says he’s going to cash in his rematch tonight. Cena says he’s cashing in tonight, not Punk. Punk: “Your rematch clause is about as real as Santa Claus.” Alberto says he defended last week so this week it’s time to celebrate. He celebrates in full wrestling gear? Now here’s HHH to talk some more. He tells Alberto to take the smug look off his face because he’s not here for Del Rio. Alberto’s match is up next so stick around. Also you can’t just cash in rematch clauses whenever you like it. Punk vs. Cena for the #1 contender spot at Night of Champions.

Alberto Del Rio vs. John Morrison

Non-title here remember. Morrison goes right for him to start but gets guillotined on the top. That goes nowhere so Del Rio goes for the arm. Morrison fires off a dropkick but it’s right back to the arm. John sends him to the floor and tries an Asai Moonsault, only to miss and land on his feet. Del Rio sends him into the barrier and takes over again. Back from a break with Del Rio holding a chinlock.

Tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two. I love Alberto’s psychology as he hits something to slow Morrison down and and then it’s right back to the arm. Cole says Morrison is an avocado. Why he calls his this isn’t clear but then again what is from Cole? Del Rio keeps hammering away as this is another of the kind of matches he needs: a match with a legit name who shouldn’t be ready to beat him so the loss means nothing but the win means something for Alberto.

Morrison manages to backdrop him to the floor and gets all fired up. He goes for the Starship Pain position but Del Rio gets away before it launches. The Mexican hits a German on the American. Cross armbreaker can’t hook and Del Rio gets caught in a spinning DDT which looked good as Morrison managed to avoid the botch. Morrison’s shining wizard doesn’t hit but he gets a rana for a close two. Big kick to the head looks to set up Starship Pain but Del Rio moves. Morrison’s shoulder hits the post and the armbreaker ends this at 12:30.

Rating: B. I was into this one. Like I said earlier, he needs wins like this one because it builds him up. Swagger lost matches like these and it really hurt his credibility. This makes Del Rio look good because Morrison is a solid and established midcard guy. A loss to Del Rio doesn’t hurt him and the win makes Alberto look good. That’s all you need and it’s the best thing they can do.

Del Rio puts the hold on again on the floor.

Eve Torres vs. Nikki Bella

The announcers said this was vs. Brie before the commercial. Does it really matter? The evil Divas do an old school inset interview talking about how they don’t want to be popular or voluptuous or pretty like Eve and Kelly (which is Beth saying these things and Natalya saying we don’t). Nikki takes over to start but gets caught in the hip gyrating moonsault. What awesomeness! Moonsault is broken up but Eve hits a Moss Covered Three Handled Family Credenza for the pin at 2:37. This was nothing but it was bad.

Kelly hits K2 on Brie post match. Natalya and Beth come out to glare at the nice girls.

Nash is up next.

Ok no he isn’t.

Alex Riley vs. Jack Swagger

Vickie does Jack’s intro and is managing him now. Swagger takes him to the mat very quickly and JR says Swagger is a former two time world champion. So the ECW Title counts? We’ll have to remember that for Mark Henry later. Riley gets that SWEET spinebuster of his and here’s Dolph. He yells at Vickie as Swagger can’t get the powerbomb. Vickie is on the floor but we didn’t see what happened. Swagger goes after Dolph and shoves him, walking back into the ring and a rollup for the pin at 2:00. I really hope they’re not getting straight to Dolph vs. Jack as this could go for a very long time.

Here’s HHH who talks about how there were issues at Summerslam but he wants to bury this right here. He calls out Nash and they shake hands/hug. Nash says he believes what HHH said about not sending the text, however he needs to be able to prove that he’s a man, referencing wanting to fight Punk. HHH says Nash doesn’t work here so he can’t do anything. Nash says he would have killed Punk last week and the security was to protect Punk, not Nash. HHH can fight Punk, just not here. He asks Nash to leave and here’s Punk.

Punk says he wants to get to the bottom of this. Let’s play Clue: was it Big Lazy with the tube of Just For Men in the conservatory? Was it HHH backstage with the sledgehammer? Or was it Stephanie in the library with a candlestick? We have a library? The tape library perhaps? Punk doesn’t believe any of these people and Nash said that Punk stepped over a line last week. That’s what Punk does, but now he’s done talking. He goes for Punk but HHH cuts him off.

Punk gets in HHH’s face and wants to know what HHH’s problem is with Punk. Why does he not want Punk being champion? Who’s pulling the strings? HHH? Nash? Or Stephanie, the bean headed wife? HHH says he made a promise to not get physically involved, but don’t cross a line with him because he’s the same guy he used to be and he’ll leave Punk laying where he stands. Punk makes fun of HHH again and Nash decks him and the former Clique leaves with HHH being mad at Nash. The fans chant for Punk.

Back from a break and HHH yells at Nash. Nash says HHH isn’t the same since he put on the suit and leaves.

Tag Titles: David Otunga/Michael McGillicutty vs. Kofi Kingston/Evan Bourne

This is a rematch from last week. Lawler points out that the champions haven’t done anything with the belts. We get a Bushwhackers reference as Lawler says they had better charisma. That’s true at least. Bourne beats on McGillicutty to start but that doesn’t last long with Kofi coming in. After some more attacking he goes outside after both champions and gets caught easily.

Otunga comes in to work over Kofi, hitting a corner clothesline for a very delayed two. Off to a chinlock for a few seconds and here’s McGillicutty who hits a double team dropkick/atomic drop for two. JR says that was an almost perfect dropkick. Off to another chinlock and McGillicutty yells at Lawler, asking if that was impressive. In a cool move Kofi nips up into a headscissors and brings in Bourne. He cleans house with jumping knees and a spin kick for two. Kofi sends Michael to the floor and hits Trouble in Paradise to Otunga. Shooting Star Press gives us new champions at 5:00.

Rating: C. Eh just a quick match here. Otunga and McGillicutty aren’t horrible but they were boring as champions. Either way this wasn’t too bad but hopefully this starts a new thing in the division as JR and the announcers make it seem like it’s kind of a big deal. This wasn’t bad and them winning that fast was probably a good thing.

Some NXT guys and Ryder pour champagne over the new champions. They’re really pushing this as a big deal.

Johnny Ace catches up with HHH and tells him Nash was in a car wreck. Well of course he was. Ace gives HHH the hospital info and will run Raw as HHH leaves. I’ll set the over/under at 12 minutes into the main event before Nash arrives.

Here’s Santino for a match but Miz and R-Truth jump him on the way to the ring and give him a big beatdown. Truth calls Santino Little Jimmy and says that’ll happen every time. DON’T START THE WHATS!!! Truth says he’s tired of the HHH/Stephanie/everyone else conspiracy. He used to main event PPVs but now it’s not about him. It’s not about Miz either.

Time for Miz to speak and he says Truth is right. The Canadian crowd gets on his nerves so he yells at them. He was in the main event of Wrestlemania and now he has to yell at Jared the Subway guy. Miz speaks slowly so Canada can understand him. He’s sick of Santino, who hasn’t won a match on Raw in five years (or since June but who’s counting) while the two of them get nothing.

They’ll be taking an opportunity instead of waiting for one which includes stomping spiders. Some people are gonna get got. That’s the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth and IT’S AWESOME. In a cool moment, Truth does a freestyle to the beat of his song and yells at the crowd with YOU SUCK replacing What’s Up. That’s rather cool.

John Cena vs. CM Punk

Ace and Del Rio are at ringside. The fans throw Cena’s shirt back twice. I’ll take it if they don’t want it. This is a pro-Punk crowd. It’s a slow start but they have some time. The fans chant for the Oilers (hockey team) and here comes Cena. He goes into the finishing sequence very quickly. The Shuffle is countered into a rollup for two very quickly. Leg lariat sets up the corner knee and bulldog for no cover.

Punk goes up but gets knocked to the floor as we take a break. Back and both guys are down. Punk grabs the GTS but Cena escapes as does Punk from the AA. Another AA attempt fails and Punk gets the springboard clothesline for two. GTS is countered into an STF attempt but Punk escapes. Cena uses pure power to push Punk down into the STF where Punk is in trouble.

That’s a good looking hold but Punk makes the ropes. Cena’s shoulder goes into the post and the GTS gets two. They’re telling a good story as they know regular stuff isn’t going to work so they’re throwing bombs from the beginning. Punk goes up but the elbow misses. I love that tribute he does to Savage. That’s what it should be: a move done in his honor and the point to the sky is perfect in multiple ways for Savage.

Cena now goes up and hits the Famesasser for two. AA #4 is countered into a SWEET running knee for two. HUGE AA gets a very close two. Again I love the throwing huge stuff and almost nothing but huge stuff. Top rope cross body is rolled through into the AA but Punk reverses into a sunset flip for two. He sets for the GTS but here’s Nash again, saying it’s not over with Punk. Punk turns around and the AA sends Cena to Night of Champions at 14:25.

Rating: B+. Seriously were you expecting anything but a good match here? They have that chemistry that you need and it’s showing here. You give these two fifteen minutes and they’ll give you the top level match they’re capable of. Obviously TV is different than PPV but this was rather awesome indeed. Good match as the kicking out was good stuff.

Alberto immediately jumps Cena until Johnny Ace breaks it up. Del Rio beats him up some more because he can.

Overall Rating: B+. This was another good show with some good matches and a lot of drama. The idea of having Nash faking the car accident and someone helping him in on it (no idea if Ace did it or not because he may have just been given a note by a fake caller etc) is interesting as there could be a lot of ways it could go. Good show here with a nice mixture of stuff going on.

Results

Alberto Del Rio b. John Morrison – Cross Armbreaker

Eve Torres b. Nikki Bella – Swinging neckbreaker

Alex Riley b. Jack Swagger – Rollup

Kofi Kingston/Evan Bourne b. David Otunga/Michael McGillicutty – Shooting Star Press to Otunga

John Cena b. CM Punk – Attitude Adjustment

What are your thoughts on it?  I haven’t really thought it through yet so what are your ideas so I can steal them and make myself look smarter?

Monday Night Raw
Date: August 15, 2011
Location: San Diego Sports Arena, San Diego, California
Commentators: Jim Ross, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s the night after Summerslam and there are a lot of questions to be answered. Alberto Del Rio is the new WWE Champion after cashing in MITB on CM Punk. However, when Punk pinned Cena to become official champion, Cena’s foot was on the rope. Also, Kevin Nash attacked Punk to cost him the title to Del Rio. Was Del Rio the one that hired Nash? We’ll find that out tonight in theory. Also Del Rio has to defend against Rey Mysterio. Let’s get to it.

After a brief recap of last night Nickelback opens us up.

Here’s HHH to open the show. He says he made a mistake last night and he’ll tell that to Cena’s face later. If he hadn’t screwed up he’s not sure who would have won but he would have had no problem raising the hand of CM Punk. HHH assures us he had nothing to do with it though. He’s friends with Nash and all he did was leave Nash some tickets to the show. There’s an invitation for Nash to be here tonight. As for Del Rio, that’s just how Money in the Bank works. There’s only one WWE Champion, and here he is.

Cue Alberto who talks about how awesome he is and he talks about destiny. He says he’s going to be a great champion and he’ll be in the lobby all night signing autographs and taking pictures. That’s the kind of champion he’ll be: a champion of the people. For his first title defense he’s going to beat Rey. That took him a few minutes to say for some reason. The people need to change their area code because after tonight he’ll be their new hero. This was oddly not full blown heel.

HHH goes into Cena’s dressing room.

John Morrison vs. R-Truth

This is falls count anywhere. Morrison says he’s going to give the Little Jimmys something to cheer about. Also Truth has what sounds like a rock/instrumental version of his old theme song. Morrison takes over to start and we go to the floor quickly. Big corkscrew dive takes Truth down for two. Moonlight Drive (I know that’s probably not the name of it but who cares) off the railing gets the same.

Truth fights back and hits a sitout gordbuster for two as we take a break. Back with Truth getting two on the floor off a move we don’t see. A replay shows that he dumped Morrison off the top while Morrison was punching him. Total dominance by the Jimmy Hater extraordinaire. We go into the crowd and Truth sends Morrison sprawling onto the concrete for two.

Coming back to ringside though Morrison gets a big kick to the head which was nearly a Pele and nearly gets the three. Truth rams him into the steps to take momentum right back. He grabs a rolling chair but a clothesline stops it. Morrison suplexes Truth onto the chair and hits a running knee to the head for the pin at approximately 11:00. The ending was kind of sudden.

Rating: B-. Well Morrison is certainly better in gimmick matches. This is what he was made for: wild brawls that he can hit his offense out of nowhere in. That’s what the whole Parkour stuff fits in with so it makes perfect sense. Also good to see him get a win because he hasn’t done much of note since coming back.

Punk is here.

Here’s Miz who is rocking a suit. He wants to talk to someone famous tonight: it’s Jared from Subway. Jared is sitting in the front row with a sandwich in his hand. Miz says he should be the pitchman for Subway and steals the sandwich. He gives a well scripted commercial for it and then tells the Subway executives to thank him for putting the chicken sandwich or whatever on Twitter as a trending topic. He’ll be a champion again, catchphrase and he’s out.

Nash is here.

Trace Adkins is here.

Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres vs. Bella Twins

Kelly takes let’s say Brie down and does the stupid Stink Face. Kelly gets double teamed and beaten down for awhile. Brie does something painful looking as she bends Kelly’s leg all the way to the point where her boot is touching her own face. Something resembling a flapjack allows the tag to Eve. She cleans house and the moonsault ends this at about 3:00. Not much at all here.

Rating: C. Not a horrible match at all here and the potential Eve heel turn seems like a distinct possibility. This was fine as the match wasn’t great or anything but they’re getting better. There’s some thought to the matches now rather than go out, do signature moves, Kelly wins. That’s a step in the right direction.

Post match here are Beth (rocking a black dress) and Natalya. They stare the good girls down and that’s about it.

Here’s Kevin Nash after a list of his accomplishments. No music though. The hair and beard are both dark. He thanks HHH for letting him come here and explain his actions. He talks about being friends with HHH for years and mentions that HHH is the godfather of Nash’s son. Nash talks about how HHH left him some tickets as a favor. Just before the main event last night, there was a text from a friend (doesn’t say any names) asking Nash to take out whoever wins the title. Nash did it as a favor and says to Punk that it was just business. He implies that HHH knew about it but doesn’t say it was HHH that send the text.

Nash goes to leave and here’s Punk. Punk talks about how HHH and Nash were clearly in on this together because HHH keeps talking about what is good for business. Punk asks Nash if he’d jump off a bridge if it was good for business, because Punk thinks it would be good for business. He says Nash being there is HHH’s version of “good for business”. Nash says they’ve never talked before but Punk needs to watch his mouth. Punk says this is his world and Nash says your world just changed.

Punk says maybe HHH is telling the truth and maybe Nash is the liar. Nash offers to show the text from his phone. Punk offers a text from his sister, saying that she thought Nash was dead. Punk says it’s just Nash’s career that is dead. He says he’s mad at a lot of people but Del Rio isn’t one of them because that’s something he’s done. One person he is mad about is HHH for bringing his cronies back. Nash says HHH shook things up around here. Punk says he did that and Nash calls him an indy-rific wannabe.

Nash talks about Punk loses the title so fast he doesn’t have time to keep it. Punk says it’s 2011, not 1994. Nash says if you want to go back to the past, let’s go back to 1996 and what he and Hall did (no Hogan or NWO reference) and how it made everyone a bunch of money. Can’t argue there. Nash says go hit the weights and take a shower because you look like a short order cook from a Pikeville (KENTUCKY) Waffle House. Punk: “I like Waffle House.”

CM makes fun of the past gimmicks of Nash, such as Oz and Vinnie Vegas. Punk says that’s enough talk so let’s fight right here in San Diego. He goes to the ring but security steps in to stop him. Punk says that’s because of HHH so he’ll go talk to the COO himself because Nash is in the ring and can’t watch HHH’s back at the moment. Punk won this one as Nash was looking for answers at times near the end.

We get more highlights of Rey’s world title wins as they’re trying to play up this as a huge moment for him.

Nash goes into HHH’s office but he’s not there. Johnny Ace is there and is as slimy as ever. He wants to talk to Nash about something in private. Nash shakes his head but goes with him.

We get a recap of Ziggler and Vickie arguing last week.

Alex Riley vs. Jack Swagger

When we come back from the recap Dolph and Vickie are on commentary and arguing. Basic stuff to start as the couple argues at ringside. Vader Bomb hits and Swagger puts on a double chickenwing. They argue about Vickie’s bad breath which results in Vickie complaining about not getting enough kisses. Key lock goes on and Dolph says Vickie knows her role. Even Cole is laughing at Jerry’s jokes here.

Spinebuster puts Swagger down as JR desperately tries to talk about the match. Vickie gets up and steals JR’s hat for no apparent reason. Riley gets in a kick to the head as Vickie….puts the hat on the referee. Riley is distracted and it lets Swagger botch the gutwrench bomb twice before the third attempts ends this at 4:24.

Rating: C. We’ll call this average because the point of this was the Dolph/Vickie stuff. The ending makes a bit more sense now as it was about getting Riley distracted to let Swagger get the win. I’m curious to see where this is going but hopefully it leads to Vickie leaving Dolph or vice versa because he doesn’t need her at all.

Post match Dolph stomps on the hat.

After a break Swagger comes up to Vickie and suggests she expands the people she manages, implying he wants her to manage him.

Same video package from last night about WWE being in LA.

Punk goes into HHH’s locker room and finds Stephanie. She says he didn’t actually win last night which is true. She says people always get what they deserve and leaves with a kind of evil look on her face.

Kofi Kingston/Evan Bourne vs. David Otunga/Michael McGillicutty

The champs have new music and McGillicutty is in a skull cap. Shawn Michaels tweeted about Nash and it’s kind of implied he might be back. Kofi vs. Michael starts us off. That doesn’t go anywhere so it’s off to Bourne who gets beaten down. Make that gets beaten down for a very long time. I’m kind of stunned by the fact that the tag champions have held the titles for the longest stretch in over a year.

We talk about Hillbilly Jim for no apparent reason and it’s hot tag to Kofi. He beats up his former NXT Rookie but stumbles on the top rope cross body. He manages to shift it into a clothesline though so it’s nowhere near as bad as it could have been. McGillicutty gets a dropkick to Kingston’s back but is knocked into position for the Shooting Star Press which ends this at 4:40.

Rating: C-. A little boring but the Shooting Star is always worth seeing. Also it’s nice to see the champions actually having a challenge for a change. I’d go with the Usos because there’s an actual feud there but whatever. Nothing great here but it adds a little story to the division which is all you can ask for anymore.

Raw World Title: Alberto Del Rio vs. Rey Mysterio

The new champ rolls out in a bright red Ferrari. Rey is the hometown boy so he gets a huge pop. It seems to be the Undisputed WWE Championship now. We continue the old school weapon checks but don’t even get big match intros. Fast paced stuff to start but it’s pretty basic. Rey sends him to the floor as we take a break. The bell rang at 10 until 11pm so they don’t have a ton of time.

Back with Rey in a body vice and he pulls half of the mask off. Alberto takes him up to the top which doesn’t work at all as Rey takes him down with a tornado DDT. Wicked one too. Spinning cross body gets two. Rolling sunset flip gets two. Rey gets taken down for a bit but takes to the air, sending Alberto to the floor. Gorgeous Asai Moonsault takes both guys down.

Seated Senton hits and he gets Alberto into the 619 position. Alberto takes his head off with a clothesline though and complains when it only gets two. Tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets the same result. Corner enziguri gets two. Rey grabs a rollup out of nowhere for two to break up the armbreaker.

Dropkick puts Rey down and he goes for the arm again. Rey reverses into an electric chair position and into a rana for the 619 position. The call connects (hate that term but whatever) and it’s top rope splash time. Jerry declares it over which seals Rey’s fate. The splash hits knees and Alberto gets a small package for the pin at 12:50.

Rating: C+. Pretty good match here and Alberto wins clean which is something that he certainly needs. These two have chemistry and this was no exception to it, which is probably due to them having so many matches together over the past year. Good stuff here and it worked rather well for a TV main event.

Post match Alberto goes for the arm and snaps it on the rope then puts the armbreaker on. Cena runs out for the save and wants a mic.  He rants about how much his weekend sucked and is all kinds of serious.  he says Alberto cashed in a briefcase and got lucky.  One days he’s going to have to defend it (kind of like he just did?) and if it’s against Cena, he won’t be so lucky.  Serious Cena works very well and this was one of those moments.

Overall Rating: A-. This show was about drama and it certainly worked I think. We still have a lot of questions and it’s interesting TV. The lack of wrestling hurt it but at times you need to have some drama out there and there’s nothing wrong with that at all. This was a good show and it built up very well towards the big main event and the drama helped that a lot. Good show overall and I want to see next week’s show now.

Results

John Morrison b. R-Truth – Running knee to the head

Eve Torres/Kelly Kelly b. Brie Bella – Moonsault

Jack Swagger b. Alex Riley – Gutwrench powerbomb

Kofi Kingston/Evan Bourne b. Michael McGillicutty/David Otunga – Shooting Star Press to McGillicutty

Alberto Del Rio b. Rey Mysterio – Small Package

Summerslam 2011
Date: August 14, 2011
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Booker T

It’s the biggest party of the summer. Wait that was another ad campaign. It’s Summerfest! No wait that’s a Piven botch. It’s Punk vs. Cena II. Well actually more like their 8^th match but the second PPV main event. Seriously that’s the extent of the hype for this show. There’s also Christian vs. Orton V or whatever but that’s really minor by comparison. There’s also a mini concert because those have worked oh so well before right? Let’s get to it.

The guitarist from Tool plays a rock version of the Star Spangled Banner. He’s no Man Mountain Rock.

The opening video is about how we’re in LA and LA is awesome. This is like the 4^th year in a row it’s been in LA. Might be three but still that’s a ton. There’s another video about how there’s a domino effect in the Punk vs. Cena war. That Bright Lights Bigger City song is growing on me a bit.

Here’s Miz to open the show and he’ll be in a six man tag. He first has something to say. Why am I not surprised? He says he’s returned to Summerslam and wants to thank the fans for insisting he competes tonight. Miz is cut off by Truth who talks about spiders. They start with the letter S, as does Summerslam. Singing also starts with an S and Cee Lo Green is singing tonight. You know what else starts with a C? CONSPIRACY!!! Del Rio cuts him off to save our sanity.

The Miz/Alberto Del Rio/R-Truth vs. Kofi Kingston/Rey Mysterio/John Morrison

Well they had to fill in the card with something. Del Rio gets a face reaction from the Hispanic heavy crowd. Kofi has white shorts now. Morrison, the hometown boy, gets NOTHING. We get a recap of Rey getting jumped by Miz on Monday. The rest of the feuds I think you know. The bell rings almost 15 minutes into the show. Miz vs. Kofi to start us off. There’s a Miz is Awesome chant.

Big monkey flip and a dropkick put Miz down. Off to Morrison and we get double flapjacks/double nipups. Nice fast paced stuff to start so far. Off to Truth vs. Morrison and Truth isn’t afraid anymore. There’s the springboard spin kick (Moonlight Drive I think? It’s the same one Cody uses for the most part) but it only gets two. The heels cheat (EVIL!) and send Morrison to the floor to shift momentum.

Off to Miz who hooks a chinlock which eats up some time. Morrison fights out of it with something resembling a Pele kick (ala AJ) and it’s warm tag Kofi. That cross body is SWEET. Miz takes him down and every heel not named Alberto works him over. Time for Kofi to imitate a long haired blonde guy from the 80s who thought he could sing named Morton for a good while.

We’re just waiting on the hot tag to Rey at this point. And yep there it is. The seated kick to Truth gets two. 619 is broken up and a second is as well. Rey makes up for that by hitting one to Truth and Miz at the same time. Everything breaks down and the faces all start diving like a broke boxer in Vegas. The ring is cleared and Rey hits the top rope splash on Truth for the pin at 9:30.

Rating: B-. Solid opener here which was very fast paced. That’s exactly what the opening match is supposed to be. You had to get a bunch of these guys on the show somehow and this is as good a way as any. I like these random tag matches because you combine feuds and manage to get a fun match too. Not everything needs to have some epic backstory to it to be a good match and this is proof of it. Good stuff.

Johnny Ace demands a public apology from Punk for getting kicked in the head. Well Ace is certainly annoying already so he’s doing his job. Punk mockingly apologizes and Ace leaves. Punk turns around and there’s the still hot Stephanie. She says HHH, Cena and Vince have all wished him good luck. He kind of says she’s brainless and she offers him a handshake anyway. “I would but I know where that hand has been.”

Recap of Henry vs. Sheamus which is basically about Sheamus being the only guy willing to fight Henry. That’s still a cool moment.

Sheamus vs. Mark Henry

I can’t imagine this going long. Sheamus gets in a few shots early on but then the beating begins. Henry hammers on Sheamus and we head to the floor where Henry gorilla presses Sheamus into the ring through the top and middle ropes. That was kind of awesome. Splash gets two. There’s a backbreaker and now an over the shoulder body vice.

The pale one fights out of it and manages to take Henry down for a moment. Emphasis on the moment aspect though as Henry takes him down again. The Vader Bomb misses though and Sheamus starts his comeback. A flying axehandle puts him on the mat and Sheamus starts dropping some knees. He fires off the forearms to the chest when Henry is caught in the ropes.

Sheamus hits the ropes and they collide, sending both guys down for a few seconds. The Irishman hits a top rope shoulder block for two. The cord is of course hot here because it’s LA and it’s a wrestling town. Sheamus pounds his chest but the Brogue Kick misses. Henry tries the World’s Strongest Slam but Sheamus counters and the Brogue Kick sends Henry to the floor. He’s out cold and dead weight now. Naturally since Sheamus is a face now he goes after him and is rammed back first into the post and then through the barricade which explodes. It’s a countout win by Henry at 9:20.

Rating: C. Well it’s Sheamus vs. Mark Henry. What were you expecting here other than power vs. power? This could probably lead to a gimmick match down the line which I wouldn’t be opposed to seeing. They backed themselves into a corner with the booking here though and it was pretty obvious that they weren’t going to do a clean ending here, which is understandable.

Christian is in the back with a big smile on his face. He has an insurance policy and the entire WWE is the beneficiary. Anything goes and we’re in LA, which means the match is going to be like a summer blockbuster like Harry Potter. Well that’s better than a Buff Blockbuster I guess. Oh Christian is Potter while Orton is Cowboys and Alience. I haven’t seen that yet so I can’t make a joke there.

Ad for some movie.

Time to kill off any momentum we had built up in the first 45 minutes with a performance by Cee Lo Green. Since one song wasn’t enough, here’s another with some dancing Divas. Well we’ve just lost 5 minutes of my life.

Divas Title: Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix

Eve and Nattie are here as seconds. Kelly looking good in the tiny white shorts and Beth in the blue skirt thing. Kelly uses speed to take over and does her gymnastics stuff. I can’t complain about an upskirt shot of Beth. Kelly dives off the middle rope to the floor. That looked decent. Beth remembers that she’s Beth Phoenix and she’s fighting Kelly Kelly so she gets a gorilla hot shot for two. Booker and Jerry as for a wardrobe malfunction. Off to a chinlock as Cole says he’s turned off by Kelly over some photoshopping thing.

Beth hooks an over the shoulder backbreaker but Kelly escapes into a neckbreaker for two. Kelly gets put in the Tree of Woe but escapes via gymnastics. This is kind of stop and go match. Kelly gets all fired up and slams Beth’s head into the mat a few times to come back. She looks spent though. Handspring elbow is caught into the Glam Slam and Kelly rolls through for the pin at 6:20. Yes, that just happened totally clean.

Rating: C+. Given what I was expecting, this was a miracle. It’s nothing great or anything but they tried out there. It’s pretty easily Kelly’s best match ever and that’s not covering a lot but they worked hard and it came off pretty well. I totally don’t get the ending but the plastic chick going over in Hollywood makes sense.

Stephanie comes out of Cena’s locker room.

Jimmy freaking Hart of all people is with R-Truth and says he needs a manager. Truth realizes something: JIMMY IS LITTLE! HE’S LITTLE JIMMY!!! Truth scares him off and talks about the conspiracy, yelling at Ron Artest and his daughter who are just chilling in the back for no apparent reason.

Wade Barrett vs. Daniel Bryan

Mat stuff to start with Barrett in control. Booker talks about Bryan having his lunch today. We had breakfast talk on Friday and now this? Jerry calls Barrett a carnivore which is a decent enough line. SICK looking arm hold into a pin attempt by Bryan. Cole is way off tonight, calling Barrett the submission specialist and thinking Bryan was the carnivore Jerry was talking about.

Cross body gets two for Bryan. There’s a dragon screw legwhip which has Dusty Rhodes freaking out I’m sure. Running dropkick in the corner gets two and it’s surfboard time. Here come the kicks as Bryan channels his inner Rockette. Barrett gets a shot in and takes over again. This has been a match of varying streaks which is usually a formula for good stuff.

Barrett gets a slingshot (thing Blanchard) backbreaker for two and it’s off to a chinlock. The British dude keeps expanding his arsenal with a flying forearm for two. Oh and Bryan has a much shorter haircut now. Barrett gets sent to the floor with a dropkick and a running knee square to the head. That looked SICK. Back inside now and the pumphandle slam is countered into more kicks. Bryan is speeding things up and taking over now.

HARD kicks to the chest but Barrett won’t go down. Ok a big one to the head puts him down. I think he kicked the British out of him. Now Barrett takes over again and loads up Wasteland but Bryan elbows out of it and throws on the guillotine. That doesn’t work and it’s off to the LeBell Lock but Barrett makes the rope. I thought that was the end. This is getting some time too. They go up to the corner and Bryan gets crotched. Barrett gets a middle rope lariat to the crotched Bryan and now he loads Wasteland, which is enough for the clean pin at 11:45.

Rating: B. Match of the night here by far and it was good stuff. They went back and forth hard here and it let both guys showcase themselves really well. Bryan losing here is ok because he didn’t look bad at all. You can lose and not look bad and this is a great example of that. Good match here and I was way into it near the end.

The California National Guard is here.

We recap Christian vs. Orton. Basically Christian played up Orton’s anger management and got him to snap long enough to lose the title at Money in the Bank. Tonight it’s no holds barred. And remember Christian has promised a surprise insurance policy.

The champ comes out first which is odd. He has a mic and says he’s a man of his words. The insurance policy…..IS EDGE???? His haircut is a little weird but he looks about the same. A bit skinnier though which is expected. If I didn’t have to hit the gym every day I certainly wouldn’t.

Edge says that he’ll never be able to wrestle again but he was happy when he left because he was able to pass the torch to Christian. He thought the first defense against Orton was unfair but then Christian started complaining a lot. Christian did win the title back but he did it by disqualification. Edge did a lot of weak things but he did it with style and was never boring.

He didn’t hide behind suits and clipboards. No Edge you hid behind Vickie. Somewhere along the lines Christian became a disgrace to himself. Christian knows he’s better than that but now he’s just a whiner. With that, Edge leaves to a nice ovation. And heeeeeeeeere’s Randy!

Smackdown World Title: Christian vs. Randy Orton

No holds barred remember. After some big match intros we’re ready to go. Opening slugout is won by Orton and he hammers the Canadian down in the corner. Christian gets that reverse guillotine thing of his and a jumping back elbow (love that move) gets two. Back body drop sets up the Garvin Stomp and a knee drop for two. They have a ton of time here.

The psychology is working here because they’ve had like 5 matches beforehand to get each others’ moves down, meaning the counters make a lot more sense. Elevated DDT is blocked into a backdrop to the floor. Orton loads up the table but the RKO is counter. Christian grabs the belt and heads into the crowd. The GM computer is there but it hasn’t been used in weeks.

Orton catches him in the crowd and hammers away. Back to ringside now and Christian finds a kendo stick to pound on Orton. He chokes away and shouts a lot and gets two. Christian charges at him in the corner and gets rolled up into a VERY close two count. Spinebuster gets two for the champion. Orton fires off a dropkick to block a kendo stick shot from the middle rope.

Randy is bleeding from the mouth a bit. He starts his finishing sequence and there’s the powerslam. Now he’s got the stick but Christian gets his feet up to break that up. Middle rope dropkick is countered into a jackknife cover for two for Randy. Thesz Press takes Christian down but Christian counters into the Killswitch. That is countered into the backbreaker for two.

Orton grabs some tables from under the ring but Christian spears him into the railing. Cole recaps the show in case someone is flipping through the PPV channels and wants to see if they’re watching the right show they bought I suppose. There’s a table set up at ringside and one in the ring not set up. Orton superplexes Christian onto the unset table but might have hut his tailbone. It only gets two anyway.

The table is already broken but Orton puts it in the corner anyway. Yes slap a cracked table with some of the legs already broken. Nothing could go wrong with that idea. Christian counters the toss into it and hits the reverse DDT. He loads up the spear but Orton jumps over him. RKO is countered and we go back to the floor. Christian goes into the steps and does a nice flip over them.

Now Christian puts Orton’s head into the steps so Randy is going to take a little nap now. Edge’s former brother but now his best friend for life because kayfabe is more powerful than blood drills him with the monitor and I think he says RKO. Christian tries an RKO but Randy has fought the Undertaker a few times so he counters into the RKO of his own and both guys are down.

The fans say this is awesome and they’re getting there. Back in the ring and Orton tries another RKO but Christian counters into the Killswitch for a LONG two. The fans thought it was over. The Spanish announcers are trying to get back on the air which is a funny visual. Christian has a chair now and make it a pair of them. It’s Conchairto time but Christian spits on Orton and takes FOREVER, allowing Orton to get up and crack Christian with the chair. The Canadian goes to the apron and a running shot to the head sends Christian through the table.

Orton still isn’t done as he throws everything he’s got under the ring. There are steps, kendo sticks, garbage cans and the table that is still up in the corner. Christian is on the steps trying to get a breather. Orton puts his foot on the champ’s head and tries a stomp but Christian moves. Powerslam puts Christian through the very end of the table, meaning the rest of it is still standing.

Now it’s stick time and Christian’s back takes a shot. The stick is already bent after two shots. There’s an elevated DDT onto the can. It feels like they’re just killing time for some reason. Orton goes into RKO mode onto the steps but Christian finds a kendo stick from somewhere. He tries to go off the ropes but jumps into an RKO on the steps, giving Orton his 9^th world title at 24:36.

Rating: B+. Definitely a good match but they’ve had a better one, probably at Over the Limit. The beating was really good and the ending was SICK. Christian was defeated here and that’s what he needed to have done. They’ll probably have one more blowoff match, hopefully in the Cell which is where this feud could go. After that one though, I don’t know if there’s a point. Still though, very good match that didn’t feel like it was 25 minutes, which is a good thing.

Video about Axxeess while they clear out the ring. There’s a lot of anti-bullying stuff there too. There are some uh….celebrities here I guess they’re called.

Stephanie is talking to HHH but we can’t hear what’s being said.

We recap Punk vs. Cena in the same video we’ve seen three or four times already. I think you get the idea of this already.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. CM Punk

HHH is guest referee and it’s champion vs. champion. This show has been very good so far but if this match is as good as it could be, it hits great. Cult of Personality is a sweet song. We go way old school with a weapons check. Punk is far more popular than Cena. Feeling out process to start. The jean shorts are officially classic. The dueling chants begin and it’s totally domianted by Cena Sucks.

The feeling out process continues and John takes Punk to the mat almost in an amateur style. Now the fans think someone can’t wrestle. This has nearly 40 minutes if need be so they can build very slowly. Cena grabs a chinlock but Punk grabs one of his own including a body vice. Booker is complaining about the technical stuff. Release fisherman’s suplex gets two for John.

We’re seven minutes into this and there hasn’t been anything big yet. Then again it’s not even 10:30 so it’s not like they have to get going immediately. Punk in control and he drops a headbutt and it’s back to the bodyvice. HHH has been pretty inconsequential so far. Cena tries the STF but Punk kicks him off. The crowd is all over Cena tonight. Dropkick knocks Cena off the apron.

Back inside and Punk gets in some kicks to the ribs. There’s an Earthquake for two. Cena fights up but gets caught with a running knee to the head with him against the ropes. He falls onto the mat and fights up into You Can’t See Me. Cena tries the STF but Punk counters into the hold called the Anaconda Vice (Koji Clutch) which is countered into a modified STF. Cole sounds bored out of his mind on the hold.

Punk counters into the real Anaconda Vice (called a keylock) but Cena counters into a Crossface (called a front facelock or something) but Punk gets a rope. Suicide dive takes both guys out. HHH starts the count and both guys are down at 9. Thankfully he stops the count and goes to get them, drawing a round of applause. He throws both guys back in and says let’s go.

Both guys get up and it’s time for the slugout. Cena grabs an AA attempt but Punk escapes, only to get taken down by a SWEET dropkick. There’s the Shuffle but the AA is countered into a sunset flip which is countered into a jackknife cover which is countered into a backslide which is countered into a bridge and a kick to the head for two. AWESOME sequence!

GTS is countered and Cena hits a corner splash. Sitout powerslam gets two as this is getting awesome very quickly. Punk breaks up the top rope Fameasser with a running knee to the head (very popular move anymore) and a bulldog gets two. Punk tries the springboard clothesline but Cena counters into the STF but Punk grabs a rope. The fans are into it but they’re waiting on the HHH stuff I think.

AA is countered into the GTS which is countered into the AA for two. Cena complains to HHH but HHH says it was two. Cena goes up and gets HUGE air on the Fameasser but misses, crashing into the mat and possibly hurting his leg. GTS gets two and Punk is stunned. Punk goes up but is very tired. With a point to the air he drops an elbow for two. That made me smile. Punk’s face is great as he’s shocked.

There’s a Randy Savage chant which is the right idea. Cena grabs a rollup for two and Cena is all fired up. He punches away but Punk grabs a kick to the ribs and another knee to the head. GTS (hit the arm) gets three but Cena’s foot is on the rope. Chant with me: DUSTY FINISH! The pin went down at 24:30.

Rating: A+. It’s not as good as MITB but to call this less than a perfect grade would be unfair. They beat the tar out of each other and had some incredible chemistry as always. These two just have it and there’s no way to teach that. It worked perfectly and the whole thing was great. Cena was all over the place here, trying to prove how well he could work and that’s what he did here. Great match but great in a different way than last month, which is a good thing.

Punk is all happy post match but won’t shake HHH’s hand. HHH holds the arm up and leaves. Of all people KEVIN NASH is in the ring and beats up Punk, leaving him laying with a Jackknife. IT’S ALBERTO!!!

Raw World Title: Alberto Del Rio vs. CM Punk

Running enziguri and Del Rio is champion!!!!!!! He celebrates and we’re done. WOW.

Overall Rating: A+. I liked it better than MITB I think and that’s saying a whole lot. There isn’t a single bad match on the whole card as even the Divas were impressive. Great show here with a great pair of main events to end it. This has been an AWESOME summer and a lot of it has been spearheaded by Punk and hopefully it’s not going to end. The ending is great as we have questions, a great match and a new champion. Definitely worth seeing and it’s great for different reasons than MITB, which is a great sign. Great show and the best two show streak for WWE in years.

Results

Rey Mysterio/John Morrison/Kofi Kingston b. Alberto Del Rio/R-Truth/The Miz – Top Rope Splash to R-Truth

Mark Henry b. Sheamus via countout

Kelly Kelly b. Beth Phoenix – Victory Roll

Wade Barrett b. Daniel Bryan – Wasteland

Randy Orton b. Christian – RKO onto the steps

CM Punk b. John Cena – GTS

Alberto Del Rio b. CM Punk – Running enziguri

Well we only have five matches but here we go:First of all I’ll take Beth getting the title to get it out of the way.

Bryan vs. Barrett I’ll pick Bryan but not by much.  Should be a good match.

Sheamus vs. Henry could go either way.  I’ll flip a coin and go with Sheamus but with zero confidence in it.

Christian over Orton on a hunch.  The ending to the show seems as if Christian has a plan.  I could see a cash-in here but I’m not calling it.

I’ll take Cena to win this but it could go either way again.  I rarely predict shenanigans in a major sense (with TNA it’s not a prediction of if but rather who and when so I don’t count that) but I think HHH might be up to something here.

There will probably be the Usos vs. New Nexus since if you check WWE.com, McGillicutty is officially Smackdown now.  Sounds like plans for a title change to me.

Your thoughts?