IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 13, 2004
Location: Von Braun Center, Huntsville, Alabama
Attendance: 4,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

The year is starting to come to a close and Eric Bischoff is back to run things again. This time around that means we need a solution to the World Title being vacated, which should mean some kind of big gimmick match for the January’s pay per view. That would be the regular January show and not the Royal Rumble, because January suddenly needs to pay per views. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here’s Eric Bischoff with the World Title to get things going. Bischoff recaps all the changes since he went on vacation and then gets into the meat of things. Two weeks ago, both Chris Benoit and Edge got a fall at the same time, but traditionally a tie goes to the champion. That would be HHH, so all three are standing in the back watching intently. HHH says no one beat him, clearly not understanding how triple threats work.

That starts an argument with Benoit so Edge says this is how it always goes. Edge has had it with waiting and the fight is on. Bischoff has had it and makes HHH/Batista vs. Chris Jericho/Chris Benoit. As for Edge, he can fight Randy Orton RIGHT NOW. The decision on the title can come later tonight. I think you can guess what it is based on the people put in those two matches, but let’s wait a little longer.

Edge vs. Randy Orton

The fans remind Edge that he tapped out and he’s so shaken up that Orton can shove him into the corner. They go with some amateur stuff in a bit of a surprise, followed by an exchange of missed dropkicks for a standoff. Orton goes with the hard clothesline to put Edge on the floor and we take a break.

Back with Orton grabbing a chinlock (he does love his chinlocks) for a bit until Edge gets a foot on the rope. You don’t see that as a counter to a chinlock very often but you don’t often see a heel in one for that long either. Edge gets up and baseball slides him to the floor, followed by a spear off the apron. Back in and the chinlock with a bodyscissors goes on with Orton taking his sweet time getting up.

A crossbody gives Orton two and they’re both down again (that’s happened a lot in this one). It’s Edge up first but Orton dropkicks him out of the air, followed by the backbreaker for two. The Edge-O-Matic gives Edge two of his own and it’s time to yell at the referee. Orton snaps off the powerslam but misses the high crossbody. The spear misses as well and it’s the RKO to finish Edge.

Rating: C+. Good match, but you could cut off the first ten minutes and not miss anything. These two like to go for the big epic match and it really doesn’t work all that well. Edge losing again doesn’t exactly help his case for the World Title, but we have to keep Orton hot for his title push….whenever that actually happens again.

Ric Flair lists off HHH’s accomplishments so HHH can convince Bischoff to make him champion again. Violence is threatened but here’s Batista to say that’s a bad idea. Batista wants HHH to play the game properly and show Bischoff instead of telling him. When they win tonight, Bischoff will know who the real champion is.

Christy, Melina and Maria are here with a t-shirt gun. After the announcers recap the opening sequence, here’s Gene Snitsky to interrupt, with Melina taking a few extra moments to notice him. Since no one will give him a match around here, he’d rather come out here and play with the t-shirt gun….and dance? Thankfully he reverts to monster form by grabbing Christy by the throat, because he has fun when someone is suffering.

This brings out Lita, who says Snitsky must feel like a big man right now. Despite everything Snitsky did to her, Lita is the Women’s Champion. Uh, he did like one thing to you. Anyway, Kane is coming back to deal with Snitsky. The complete non-reaction to that announcement is rather telling. Snitsky goes after Lita, who escaped behind a wall of fire.

Christian rants about Chris Jericho making him dress like a superhero last week while Candice Michelle does his makeup. Eugene comes up and gets on Christian’s nerves by saying Captain Charisma isn’t as good as Aquaman. He even asks for an autograph but gets broken up by a cameo.

Mick Foley of all people pops up and Eugene freaks out because Foley is tied for his four favorite wrestlers. It’s Foley, the Rock (Foley: “That’s a good choice.”), Papa Shango (Foley: “Ok that’s a weird one.”) and Beautiful Bobby Eaton, because he’s from right here in Huntsville, Alabama. Has Eaton ever been mentioned on Raw before? Foley leaves with Eugene, even though he stole his cheap pop. Eugene tells Christian and Tomko to have a nice day, Bang Bang.

Simon Dean is in Eric Bischoff’s office to sign his official Raw contract when Chris Benoit comes in. Dean leaves and Benoit says he worked so hard to get the title. He wants a rematch of the triple threat match for the title but Bischoff says Benoit is already in a tag match. Benoit isn’t happy and says if Bischoff gives the title back to HHH, he’ll just be showing how spineless he really is.

Chris Benoit/Chris Jericho vs. HHH/Batista

Ric Flair is here with Evolution. Benoit slugs away at HHH to start and the loud chops in the corner follow. HHH gets smart by going with the power to drive Benoit into the corner for the boot choke from Batista. It’s off to Jericho who can’t do anything with Batista either so it’s back to HHH for some more first gear grappling. A shoulder and the jumping knee to the face move things up a bit and take Jericho down, followed by a heck of a whip into the corner from Batista.

The chinlock keeps Jericho in trouble and it’s back to HHH for some choking in the corner. A delayed vertical suplex into the knee drop gives HHH one with Benoit making the save. Flair goes after the referee and gets decked by Jericho, sending him into the trademark rage. HHH calms him down though and we take a break.

Back with Benoit hitting a German suplex on HHH but missing the Swan Dive, even with Batista not being able to grab Benoit’s foot in time. HHH whips Benoit back first into the corner for two and it’s off to the abdominal stretch to cause some screaming. The assist from Batista gets HHH caught so he throws some right hands in the corner while calling spots.

HHH’s jump off the middle rope that is designed to land on a raised boot lands on a raised boot, meaning Jericho can come in. Jericho rolls Batista up for two and slips out of the Batista Bomb, setting up an enziguri. The Lionsault connects and HHH is sent to the floor, leaving Benoit to hit the Swan Dive. The Sharpshooter goes on and the saving HHH is pulled into the Crossface. That’s enough of a distraction for Batista to hit the spinebuster for the pin on Benoit.

Rating: B. This was working the formula rather well and Batista is getting better and better every week. His star power is rising as well as he gets sick of HHH, which is only going to mean great things for him. Giving him the pin like that makes things look even better, as HHH isn’t going to be happy.

Here’s Mick Foley for a chat. After all, what would Christmastime be without a Mick Foley book plug? He’s not telling you to buy it or that it’s a great Christmas gift idea though. Actually he’s here to mention that he’s going to be on Smackdown next week, because he’s going to Iraq for the Tribute to the Troops. We get a look at last week’s show and Foley mentions that he still has some John Kerry bumper stickers in his garage. The fans boo and Foley remembers that this is a red state.

Supporting the troops goes beyond political affiliation though and he’s honored to be going over there and entertain the troops. This brings out Muhammad Hassan and Daivari for something that is going to go very badly in a hurry. Hassan talks about blindly supporting the troops and the country, but then 9/11 happened.

People like the two of them are the real victims of the war and none of the people here are real patriots. Why would they support a war that causes the unfair treatment of Arab Americans? Hassan feels the “patriotism” around every airport and right now, though Foley disagrees with almost every word. Foley puts over America as the place where you can say any stupid views you want so Hassan calls Americans infidels. That’s too far for Foley, who lists off various people who were hurt or killed defending his rights. Hassan: “YOU SUPPORT AN EVIL AND UNJUST WAR!” Foley: “I SUPPORT AMERICA!”

Those rights don’t apply in the ring (Foley Island) though and if Hassan comes inside, he’ll get a fist in his mouth. Hassan and Daivari walk away again. I know it was a different time, but this stuff is as heavy handed as it gets these days, with the Love It Or Leave It stuff being a lot to take. I get where these debates have an audience, but it’s not the most interesting thing on a wrestling show.

We look back at Lita winning the Women’s Title last week.

Trish Stratus doesn’t care what the interviewer’s name is because she isn’t happy with what happened. She’ll get her title back.

Rochelle (egads another random woman on the roster) is in Bischoff’s office when Edge comes in to say he deserves the title. We hear his usual list of times where he got cheated and is told that the decision is coming tonight.

Christian/Tyson Tomko/Maven vs. Eugene/William Regal/Shelton Benjamin

Eugene backdrops Christian to start and pulls out his own version of Mr. Socko as Lawler insists that Christian could beat Aquaman. Maven and Christian both take airplane spins but Tomko takes Eugene’s head off with a clothesline. The chinlock keeps Eugene in trouble (Regal: “Come on Eug!”) and it’s back to Maven for an elbow to the head. Regal’s overly loud shouting continues as JR sucks up to the troops all over again. Eugene gets two each off a backslide and small package so Christian rips at his face.

Shelton and Regal are knocked off the apron as the announcers talk about Simon Dean. Come on the match isn’t THAT bad. Maven puts on a chinlock of his own with a knee in Eugene’s back until a Stunner breaks things up. Shelton finally comes in to start taking over and an exploder getting two on Maven as Christian makes the save. Christian gets Socko from Eugene but Maven rolls Shelton up and grabs the rope for the upset.

Rating: D. This felt a lot longer than the seven minutes it lasted. Maven’s continued push isn’t helping anything, but at least having it be in the midcard instead of the main event is a little more believable. The match wasn’t even very good as it was Eugene getting beaten until the last minute when Shelton got pinned.

HHH glares at Bischoff and then nearly begs him to return the title. He seems near tears as he talks about how important the title is to him as this is getting WAY too deep into HHH’s psyche than I’m comfortable with being. See, HHH needs to be champion so people can recognize him. Oh and it’s good for business.

Next week: the Best of 2004. Pick your favorite “that’s going to be a short show” joke.

Bischoff comes to the ring and calls for HHH, Edge and Benoit to join him. The three of them do, with Flair and Batista joining HHH. All the team does is win and the World Heavyweight Champion should be a winner. Bischoff liked the idea of another triple threat match but that’s not what he wants to do. Or maybe he could hand the belt to Edge, but that’s not a good move since Edge has never been champion before.

With that WCW philosophical line out of the way, Bischoff gets to his idea: the Elimination Chamber at New Year’s Revolution, which was the pretty clear pick the entire time. In addition to the three of them, Jericho, Batista and Orton will be involved as well. Only Batista seems to be happy as Bischoff leaves. Benoit gets beaten down so here are Jericho and Orton for the big six way brawl. Orton RKO’s Batista to stand tall to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. The longer wrestling was nice for a change, but the bigger problem here was how we spent weeks waiting to find out what is going on with the title and the answer is we wait another month. That’s going to make for some very long shows before we get to the title change, but it means they can do very little until we get to the Royal Rumble where things can actually happen. Not a terrible show, but another case of filling time until we get to what really matters.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 6, 2004
Location: Cricket Arena, Charlotte, North Carolina
Attendance: 4,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the final night of the guest host series for Raw and that means Chris Jericho is in charge. He has a big plate in front of him tonight with the controversial finish to last week’s World Title match where Chris Benoit and Edge both laid claim to the title. In a bigger deal though, Trish Stratus is defending the Women’s Title against Lita in a major showdown. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with the Highlight Reel (of course) with Jericho promising a big party tonight. Since it’s a party, everyone gets laid tonight, so the leis fall from the ceiling, allowing Jericho to make some jokes about a few fans. Not wanting to be left out, he goes out and gets one himself (Jericho: “Everybody gets laid! You won’t get arrested!”). They’re imported from Hawaii, a tropical paradise, and what makes you think of the tropical paradise than Charlotte, North Carolina in December?

That’s not all though because tonight the Divas will be taking part in the Chris Jericho Rock and Roll Limbo A Go-Go, complete with music from Fozzy. With the announcements out of the way, we look at the end of last week’s show with Edge tapping just as Benoit got pinned. There’s nothing clear after several angles so Jericho needs some help. This brings out Vince McMahon, carrying the title in a better than expected visual. Vince didn’t see anything definitive either so that makes it a tie. He doesn’t like that either….so here’s a smug HHH to interrupt.

Post break, HHH isn’t exactly happy and yells at Batista for not being angry enough. Batista yells back this time, saying he was out there last week and saving HHH last week. There would be no controversy if it wasn’t for him and Benoit would be the champion. YOU’RE WELCOME! HHH turns over the coffee while shouting THANK YOU.

Jericho has a party in his office, with paint and balloons on the walls and various woman carousing. Christian comes in to rant about what looks like a superhero costume Jericho wants him to wear. Jericho loves the idea of Captain Charisma joining various other great captains, like Hook, Crunch and James T. Kirk. If Christian wants another Intercontinental Title shot, get in the costume. Christian leaves and Benoit comes in instead. He’s not happy with the situation so Jericho makes himself and Benoit against Batista/HHH, which does please Benoit.

We look at Trish tormenting Lita back in May. These segments were gold as Trish is so awesome in this role.

Eugene vs. Maven

William Regal is here with Eugene and doesn’t think much of Maven wanting a handshake. Eugene wrestles him down to start and strikes a bit of a dance as Maven certainly doesn’t seem pleased. A takedown sets up a bodyscissors with Eugene rolling him around and shaking the knees some more. Back up and Maven falls down but claims Regal tripped him, meaning an ejection. Eugene gets a northern lights suplex for two and Maven compliments him before kicking the knee out. The knee gets tied in the corner and Maven chokes until it’s a DQ.

Rating: D. Now this is more Maven’s speed and I didn’t get nearly as annoyed as I did before. Maven against someone like Eugene is something I can buy, unlike watching him against main event level talent. The heel turn isn’t likely to revitalize his career but at least he’s not in way over his head.

Post match Regal comes back in but gets decked by a title belt.

And now, a limbo contest with the Divas. Fozzy plays music, the girls limbo, Christy wins, and Jericho starts singing with Fozzy as we have a dance off. The lights go out though and it’s Muhammad Hassan and Daivari coming up on the screen. Hassan goes on about how great things can be before a single instance can change everything. Like on 9/11. He’ll be here next week and the party will stop. Better than limbo at least.

Simon Dean vs. Hurricane

This is Dean’s in-ring debut but first he needs to talk about the Fit-No-Powder. Hurricane cuts him off, but Dean is smart enough to just talk over the music. Dean offers him an amateur position and gets rolled up for an early two. A front facelock has Dean in the corner but he comes out with a right hand. Lawler: “Well you know what they say.” JR: “What do they say?” Lawler: “Uh…..”

Dean takes him down and a pendulum elbow sets up a pushup choke. We hit the chinlock with a knee in Hurricane’s back as Lawler compares him to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. He wishes. Hurricane comes back with a clothesline and headscissors, followed by the reverse Unprettier. The Shining Wizard misses though and Dean grabs a rollup with tights for the pin.

Rating: D+. Just a match here as Dean’s run continues to die before our eyes. It’s not working and a feud with Hurricane and Rosey isn’t going to fix things. They tried something and it isn’t clicking, but at least they’re keeping him down low on the card and giving him a win. I wouldn’t get my hopes up though.

We see Trish’s bridal shower for Lita as the gold continues.

Randy Orton is happy with the World Title situation and laughs at Coach for not being able to get laid.

Here’s an angry Edge for a chat. He’s here to defend his World Title and now it’s vacant. The fans tell him that he tapped out as he explains what happened last week, albeit with a bit of a twist that puts him in a pretty positive light. Even Lawler can’t give him the benefit of the doubt on this one as Edge talks about how great it felt to have the World Title in his hands.

This is all Randy Orton’s fault because Orton didn’t do the right thing last week. It’s not his fault that Orton’s title reign was a failure so Orton needs to get out here right now. Cue Orton with the shirt coming off on the way down the ramp. He could have made it a singles match last week with Benoit vs. HHH instead so Edge should be grateful. They’ve been here before and Edge only has himself to blame. Edge is the only failure around here but Edge can’t remember all the times he’s beaten Orton. Edge declares Orton his b**** and the fight is on with agents breaking it up.

Intercontinental Title: Shelton Benjamin vs. Captain Charisma

The Captain (Christian in a superhero costume if you aren’t paying attention) looks a bit like Daredevil with yellow trim. Shelton starts laughing at him and holds his hand out to stop a charge. Tyson Tomko gets on the apron for a distraction, even though it doesn’t seem to change anything as Christian takes over anyway. Shelton is right back with the top rope clothesline but Tomko forearms him in the back to really take over.

An abdominal stretch stays on the ribs but Christian lets it go and misses a charge into the corner. Christian gets punched out of the air and a middle rope sunset flip gets two. The Stinger Splash misses but Shelton lands on the ropes, only to get powerbombed down for two. Tomko gets involved again by throwing in the title, allowing him to boot Shelton in the face for two more. Shelton kicks Christian in the head to mess up the mask, setting up the exploder to retain.

Rating: D+. This could have been worse and it’s not like Shelton is going to run out of challengers. Christian has already been beaten a few times so this was hardly some big waste of a chance. The idea was funny enough, but with the Hurricane and Rosey already on the show, the superhero deal isn’t exactly an original idea.

Post match Jericho comes out and makes Orton vs. Edge for next week. As a bonus, he sings the Goodbye Song to Christian. For some reason, this isn’t included on the Network. With all the music stuff they do, that’s a copyright issue?

Smackdown Rebound (also not on the Network).

Next up: Trish interrupts Lita’s wedding. That outfit makes this roughly 14 times better.

Snitsky cuts Lita off in the back and takes credit for ruining Kane’s career. Tonight is Lita’s big night and it’s a shame her baby isn’t here to cheer her on.

We recap the World Title being vacated.

HHH calls Bischoff but gets the answering machine. The message turns into a plug for the book and Raw Magazine with Flair acting as pitchman. Batista comes in and hangs up the phone, pointing out how it’s kind of stupid to threaten the guy who handles the World Title situation. There is only one World Champion but Batista doesn’t say who that is. Flair: “He’s talking about you!”

HHH/Batista vs. Chris Benoit/Chris Jericho

Lilian Garcia introduces HHH as the former World Champion so he chases her into the crowd. Benoit chops at Batista to start as they ride out the WE WANT FLAIR chants. It’s off to HHH, who gets chopped by both Canadians and suplexed by Benoit for two. The Crossface is broken up due to feet in the ropes and Batista adds a save. The fans still want Flair but settle for Jericho punching HHH down.

A whip over the corner puts HHH on the floor and a double dropkick sends Batista out next to him. Back from a break with Batista putting Jericho in a camel clutch after hitting a spinebuster during the break. Evolution takes turns stomping Jericho in the corner with Batista adding a boot choke. Jericho dropkicks the knee out to send Batista face first into the middle buckle and it’s the hot tag to Benoit.

Everything breaks down and Benoit decks Flair from the apron, which the fans don’t exactly like. Batista gets knocked off the apron though and Benoit rolls the German suplexes on HHH, which the fans like a lot more. The Lionsault sets up the Swan Dive into the Walls/Crossface combination but Batista makes the save. Another spinebuster drops Benoit but HHH hits him with a chair for the rather dumb DQ.

Rating: C+. The energy was there and HHH snapping is a good enough story. This is part of the bigger story though, even if it’s all but destined to end with HHH as champion again. Batista’s frustrations are starting to grow though and that is a good sign for the future. They’re taking the slow burn path and that’s best for everyone.

Post match HHH chairs Benoit (who is gushing blood) again and loads up one on Jericho, only to hit Batista by mistake. Jericho takes a shot of his own and HHH checks on Batista. Flair holds Batista’s head and HHH leaves, ranting about the title.

Some production guys check out Trish as she bends over for a stretch. After they’re scared off, Lita comes in and Trish asks whose career she’s ending tonight. Lita says yours and kisses Trish. Lawler’s reaction is much more subdued than you would expect.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Lita

Trish is defending and Lita looks very happy to be in her hometown. They lock up to start and fall to the floor as JR gets on Lawler for worrying about Trish’s nose. JR: “We’ll have a parade for her next week.” Back in and Lita knocks her to the floor, setting up the suicide dive with Lita landing on her head and thankfully not dying. A shot with the mask gives Trish two and JR goes off on Lawler again, this time for being glad to see Trish’s face. Trish pulls her up for the choke in the corner until Lita snapmares her way out.

The sleeper is broken up though and we hit the seated full nelson. Lita fights up and catches Trish on top, meaning it’s a top rope superplex for the double knockdown. The delayed cover gets two and Trish is right back with a kick to the head. Right hands in the corner are countered with a powerbomb but Trish grabs the rope to block the snap DDT. Stratusfaction is countered into the reverse Twist of Fate and the moonsault gives Lita the pin and the title for her first reign in four years.

Rating: B. There was a great energy here and the fans wanted to see Lita FINALLY beat Trish and take the title. That’s because they spent time setting this story up and it made the payoff that much better. It’s a big deal and felt like an important moment because WWE treated it like an important moment. This was the main event of the show and that’s not something you saw very often at this point.

Overall Rating: C-. The last half hour nearly saved the show with a hot angle and a very good main event. Other than that though, it was another week of waiting for another show as we still don’t get the big moment. They’ll wait for January to actually give us anything in the annual December Doesn’t Matter push and that’s something you knew was coming.

The main event is what really matters here as it would be the benchmark for the women’s division for over ten years. This match was the main event of Monday Night Raw and treated like the biggest thing on the show, which just did not happen at this point. I know they’ve been surpassed and lapped several times, but Lita and Trish really did take the division to a place it hadn’t been in the modern era here and that’s worthy of some praise.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: November 29, 2004
Location: 1^st Mariner Arena, Baltimore, Maryland
Attendance: 5,300
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re in week three of Team Orton running the show and in this case it’s Randy Orton himself in charge. His first order of business: HHH defending the World Title in a battle royal, which should all but guarantee a new champion. Now let’s see how our beloved champion gets to outsmart everyone this week. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Raw World Title: Battle Royal

Edge, Gene Snitsky, Ric Flair, Steven Richards, Tyson Tomko, Rob Conway, Sylvan Grenier, Jonathan Coachman, Christian, Shelton Benjamin, Viscera, Rhyno, Eugene, Chris Benoit, Maven, Tajiri, Rosey, William Regal, Batista, Chris Jericho, Val Venis, HHH

The fight starts before Batista comes out, so we watch that in full and come back to everyone standing still again. Hold on though as here’s Vince McMahon to say that this isn’t happening due to reasons of anyone can win. Can you imagine someone like Steven Richards as the World Champion? It’s a #1 contenders match instead, but the winner will get their shot tonight so you’re still getting a title match.

Battle Royal

Edge, Gene Snitsky, Ric Flair, Steven Richards, Tyson Tomko, Rob Conway, Sylvan Grenier, Jonathan Coachman, Christian, Shelton Benjamin, Viscera, Rhyno, Eugene, Chris Benoit, Maven, Tajiri, Rosey, William Regal, Batista, Chris Jericho, Val Venis

Everyone starts fighting as Edge chills on the steps without ever having gotten in. Hurricane dives at Viscera for some reason but since Viscera isn’t that bright, he can’t throw him out just yet. A bunch of people get together and toss Viscera, followed by Tajiri eliminating his own partner Rhyno. Tomko is out next and Maven gets rid of Grenier, only to get tossed by Eugene. Back from a break with Benoit and Edge chopping it out in the middle of the ring and Coach having eliminated himself rather than be chopped by Benoit again.

Regal and Rosey both go out at Snitsky’s hands, followed by Batista tossing Hurricane. That means a Snitsky vs. Batista showdown until everyone else breaks it up due to reasons of wrestling stupidity. Batista starts cleaning house, including tossing Eugene, Tajiri, Christian, Venis and Flair in just a few seconds. The fans are WAY into that as we take a break. Back again with Jericho dropkicking Snitsky out, leaving us with Jericho, Benoit, Richards, Edge, Benjamin and Batista.

Richards starts celebrating and gets beaten down to leave us with five. Shelton unloads on Edge in the corner as JR is on fire with the over the top call here. The stomping goes on a bit too long though and Edge sends Benjamin to the apron, setting up a spear for the elimination. Jericho charges at Batista and gets tossed, leaving Benoit to German suplex Edge. Benoit low bridges Batista out though and we’re down to the two Canadians. They both wind up on the apron and fall to the floor for the double elimination.

Rating: D+. So there’s the latest version of the double winner battle royal as we set up a likely triple threat match tonight. The match was far longer than it needed to be, though they got us down to a good collection of talent at the end. Having it come after a bait and switch certainly didn’t help either.

In the back, two referees both tell Randy Orton what they think they saw, which of course is a split decision. The referees leave and Vince comes in to tell Orton that it’s his call. Edge comes in to plead his case, offering Orton a title shot if he gets to face HHH tonight. Orton says he’ll think about it, which isn’t good enough for Edge. The boss leaves and Edge is furious.

Maven is annoyed that he hasn’t won anything in the last few weeks. Eugene comes in and asks for help putting his Tag Team Title on. That’s too far for Maven and Shelton Benjamin has to get between them. After four years of work, Maven doesn’t have anything and Eugene can’t even spell title. Eugene spells title so Maven goes after him, with William Regal breaking it up. Maven sits back down.

Candice Michelle stops Orton to ask if her new dress is appropriate. Orton approves, but here’s Benoit to demand the title shot tonight. Benoit would win the title if he had the chance and so he wants his chance. Orton promises to fix things.

Here’s Orton to fix things. Well in a minute as first he announces Regal/Eugene vs. La Resistance for the Tag Team Titles and Jerry Lawler (the birthday King) vs. Ric Flair. Other than that, we can have a triple threat match with Benoit and Edge challenging HHH for the title. I’ve heard worse ideas, though not many less interesting.

Lawler goes to get ready so Jonathan Coachman takes his place.

Lita/Victoria vs. Molly Holly/Trish Stratus

The villains jump them from behind and it’s Victoria getting suplexed down. Trish comes in to start kicking at the arm as the announcers go over HHH’s odds to retain the title. It’s back to Molly for a swinging neckbreaker as the back of Victoria’s trunks has torn, which is made even worse given how small they were in the first place. Molly cuts off the comeback with a kick to the ribs and it’s a stomping down in the corner.

The running seated dropkick gets two and a running elbow keeps Victoria away from Lita again. The Chick Kick is blocked and now it’s off to Lita, meaning Trish gets to panic. Lita can’t quite hit a running splash in the corner so it’s a snap suplex instead. A sleeper has Trish in trouble but Molly makes the save and sends Victoria outside. Molly gets knocked out as well though and it’s the snap DDT to finish Trish.

Rating: D+. This could have been a lot worse and the fans are wanting to see Lita take Trish’s head off when she gets the chance. It was a smart move to keep things short at Survivor Series, because the build wasn’t quite done just yet. That was some smart storytelling and they could get some extra mileage out of this story for a better result.

Muhammad Hassan and Daivari montage, with clips of their previous rants.

Ric Flair vs. Jerry Lawler

This is billed as a Legends Match. JR mentions Lawler’s resume and major title wins, which is a good thing to bring up every now and then. How many younger fans see Lawler as an old guy and not a wrestler? Lawler mocks the strut to start and gets shoved, so it’s a slap to Flair’s face. Flair gets knocked down and that’s another strut from Lawler. A slugout goes to Lawler and we get the required Flair Flop.

Flair gets in a cheap shot out of the corner and the comeback is on, including the knee drop. The comeback takes all of two seconds as Lawler elbows him in the face and hits the middle rope fist drop. As you probably saw coming though, Lawler bangs up his knee on the way down though and Flair is rather pleased. A chop block sets up the Figure Four with a grab of the ropes to make Lawler tap.

Rating: D+. There wasn’t much to it but these two know how to do a paint by numbers match in their sleep. The fans are always going to react to Lawler because he’s one of the all time great performers and has forgotten more about working a crowd than most of the modern roster will ever know. Yeah they’re both old and the match was just a quick filler, but you can see the knowledge and talent on full display.

Melina has been signed as the newest Raw Diva and she hugs Orton for giving her the chance. Melina: “If there’s anything I can do to thank you for the favor, let me know.” Maria comes in as well and Orton has an idea. They won’t be wrestling, but they’ll be in the ring doing something.

Wrestlemania Recall: Benoit wins the title.

We get another Shelton Benjamin video, this time talking about all of the drug issues in his hometown. He was in the middle of firefights and got out as soon as he could. Eventually he found his way out through sports, which got him to college.

With the emotional story out of the way, here is Orton, flanked by Maria, Candice and Melina. Orton thinks we need more hot women though so here are Christy Hemme and Stacy Keibler. So why are they here? Lingerie fashion show. There isn’t much to say here as they all strip, they all look good, they dance rather close to Orton and they all get cheered. A group hug wraps it up.

Is this supposed to make us want to like Orton? The tall, handsome wrestler who gets to hit on the gorgeous women that he probably could get regularly? Orton added nothing to this segment and it could have been anyone running the thing to the same result. This was over ten minutes long, or longer than anything but the battle royal tonight. I get the appeal, but could you be a little more subtle with this stuff?

Tag Team Titles: La Resistance vs. William Regal/Eugene

Regal and Eugene are defending. Eugene shoulders Conway down to start as we hear about the lingerie from the previous segment being auctioned off on WWE.com. As I shake my head, it’s Regal coming in and getting taken to the mat in a bit of a surprise. Eugene gets knocked off the apron and it’s time to Hulk Up, after a legal tag of course. House is cleaned but the crowd is dead after the previous segment. The airplane spin has Conway in trouble and the top rope ax handle gets two. Au Revoir is broken up and it’s a Stunner to finish Grenier.

Rating: D+. The wrestling was watchable for such a short match but the lack of a reaction was really noticeable. There’s only so much you can do when your crowd is dead after a segment like the previous one and there was nothing these guys could do. It’s almost like the fans came to a wrestling show to see wrestling and not a long segment that didn’t add anything to the show.

Post match Eugene brings the kids in to celebrate but Maven runs out and sends him into the steps.

Trish thinks Chris Jericho finds the face mask funny but Jericho thinks she looks great. He also finds it funny that she called Lita the walking Kiss of Death but tonight, the walking KOD beat the walking STD. Next week, Lita gets her title shot.

How to bid on lingerie!

Flair and Batista yell at each other over the battle royal. Good thing they waited an hour and a half to have this talk. HHH comes in to rant about the triple threat but both of them calm him down. Batista sounds a little tentative when he says he has HHH’s back.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Chris Benoit vs. Edge

HHH is defending. Benoit goes after Edge as the champ chills in the corner, watching as Edge knocks Benoit to the floor. Back in and HHH knocks Edge to the floor and whips Benoit chest first into the corner for a pair of twos. Edge comes in again and it’s time for Benoit to take over with some alternating chops. A double clothesline puts Edge and HHH on the floor, setting up a double dive to take them both down again as we take a break.

We come back with HHH down on the floor and Benoit putting Edge in the Sharpshooter. HHH’s save attempt is countered into the Crossface but here are Flair and Batista to make the save. Orton comes out to eject both of them, leaving HHH to hit a spinebuster for two on Edge. Benoit comes back in for the suplexes, setting up the Sharpshooter to Edge’s already banged up back.

Instead of immediately saving, HHH posts Orton first and then breaks things up. HHH gets taken down again and it’s more rolling German suplexes on Edge. Benoit goes up top but has to knock Edge away, giving us a ref bump. The chair is brought in but Orton takes it away from HHH and chairs him over the barricade. Edge is back up for the spear, which is countered into a Crossface with another referee running in. That’s reversed with a rollup that doesn’t break the hold, meaning he taps out at the same time the referee counts three for the double finish.

Rating: C+. There was good action but I rolled my eyes a bit at the match having the same kind of ending as the opener, even with the same people. I’m sure this will set up something else down the line, because that’s what this whole story has been since Survivor Series: a bunch of stuff that makes you wait until next time without giving you anything concrete.

The two referees and the two Canadians argue over who wins to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. A bunch of mostly bad wrestling with Orton offering nothing as the boss for the night makes this another weak show. At least something kind of happened in the main event, but we’re sorry because your definitive deal is on another episode. Benoit vs. Edge for the title is what makes sense and if you think that’s what we’re getting, you haven’t been paying enough attention.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: November 22, 2004
Location: HSBC Arena, Buffalo, New York
Attendance: 6,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s time to continue the Survivor Series fallout, this time with someone else running the show. Last week’s Maven Show is going to be hard to beat as Maven challenging for the title wasn’t fooling anyone. At least that’s out of the way now and we can stop pretending that Maven is anywhere near that level. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open in the locker room with Shelton getting ready for his match when Trish Stratus comes in wearing a towel. She asks where he’s off to looking so pretty. That would be a six man tag because William Regal and Tajiri need him. Trish asks about her needs but Shelton thinks she’ll find someone else. An aghast Vince McMahon comes in and freaks out because it’s a woman in a towel. It’s scandalous because the moral fabric of America is being pulled apart by the sexual and racial overtones. Shelton: “EXCUSE ME?”

Vince: “Well Shelton, you may not realize this but you’re an African American. And everyone knows that African Americans are attracted to attractive white Canadian women with broken noses!” Vince goes on a rant about how this isn’t the NFL or the NBA where such actions could send Shelton into the audience in a violent rage. Shelton tells Vince to lighten up and the towel comes down as the Monday Night Football theme plays. Vince can’t kiss her because of the nose guard so he looks to the camera and asks if we’re ready for some wrestling.

So for those of you who weren’t watching American television in 2004, there was a Desperate Housewives vignette that aired before a Monday Night Football game, featuring Nicolette Sheridan and Terrell Owens doing the same thing. This was treated as the biggest disgrace in the history of television with people freaking out over a WOMAN IN A TOWEL (ok it was more her dropping the towel). It was stupid and completely overblown, though this opening has always been one of my favorites. Vince informing Shelton that he’s African American cracks me up every time as Shelton just looks lost.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Chris Benoit, who is in charge this week. He loves the idea of more wrestling and wants to simplify things tonight. There is a contract on his door and anyone who wanted a match tonight just had to sign up. Some people have already signed up so tonight it’s Maven vs. Gene Snitsky, Batista vs. Chris Jericho, Trish Stratus defending the Women’s Title against Lita and Molly Holly, and Jonathan Coachman against JR. We need a main event though and as luck would have it, there’s a steel cage above the ring. As you might have guessed, Benoit himself will be challenging HHH for the World Title inside that cage.

Maven vs. Gene Snitsky

Maven is still banged up but is fine enough to snap Snitsky’s throat across the top rope on his way in. A dropkick sends Snitsky out to the floor and seems to annoy him more than anything else. Snitsky pulls him down and crushes Maven’s head against the post for two as the announcers talk about how Maven should have joined Evolution last week (egads people let it go).

A half crab keeps Maven down and Snitsky slides him across the mat into the post. Maven can barely do that right as the slide is in slow motion. Snitsky misses a charge and Maven hits a high crossbody for two, followed by the top rope bulldog for the same. A big boot cuts Maven down though and it’s the pumphandle slam to give Snitsky the pin.

Rating: D. What else were you expecting? Neither of these two are worth much in the ring, though at least Snitsky beat him pretty decisively. It’s not working with Maven and WWE is right to move him back down the card where he belongs. Snitsky doesn’t have the highest ceiling in the world, but it’s a lot higher than Maven’s, at least right now.

HHH is panicking over the cage match but Batista says they have his back. That doesn’t work well because Batista has been screwing up left and right lately. Ric Flair tries to calm things down but HHH says the point of this team is to keep the title on him. HHH bets that Batista is losing tonight. They separate and things aren’t good.

Here’s Stacy Keibler to shoot t-shirts into the crowd. She pulls out a copy of the Rise and Fall of ECW DVD but that brings out Simon Dean to interrupt. He thinks the people need a DVD that they could actually use. It’s a Simon System DVD, which the people need to protect themselves around Thanksgiving. Women like Stacy are interested in men like him, because he’s actually in shape. Stacy says no because he looks in the mirror more than she does, which doesn’t sit well with him. Threats are made so here’s Hurricane for the save. Simon beats him down with the weightlifting belt so Rosey makes the real save.

Two women (Candace Michelle and Melina) are in the back talking about Batista and HHH when Batista and Flair (Flair: “Maybe later ladies.”) come by with Batista ranting about how he can beat Jericho and he’ll prove it tonight.

Batista vs. Chris Jericho

Rating: D+. This was starting to get somewhere but they were smart to end it that way. Batista looks like the monster who was out to prove himself at all cost, which is exactly what they should have done. Jericho didn’t get squashed, but the point here was to make Batista look like the Animal and that’s what they did.

Post match Batista lays Jericho out with the big clothesline to the back of the head.

Post break, HHH sarcastically claps for Batista and asks for his $100. Batista doesn’t want to hear it because he walked out while HHH got carried out. HHH doesn’t like it because he wanted Batista to win. Batista has a million dollar body and a ten cent brain and if HHH needs to find a replacement, he’ll have no problem getting one. Flair is sent to talk to the livid Batista, but he tells HHH to back off.

Edge looks at a clip of him attacking Christian last week while shouting that it wasn’t his fault. He’s a lone wolf now and deserves a shot at the World Title, but Benoit is getting his own shot. Everyone knows he’s earned a shot so let’s take a poll of people in the back about whether Edge should get a shot at the title. Christy Hemme says no so Edge tells her to apologize to her mirror every morning. A production guy says no because he voted for Shawn Michaels at Taboo Tuesday. Edge is about to kill him so here’s Benoit to break it up. Edge storms off instead.

Jonathan Coachman vs. Jim Ross

Hang on though as Benoit pops up on screen to say that there has been a misunderstanding. See, Coach wrote JR on the signup sheet, which Benoit thought meant Just Rhyno.

Jonathan Coachman vs. Rhyno

Coach gets in a microphone shot and some right hands before the Gore finishes him in less than thirty seconds.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Lita vs. Molly Holly

Trish is defending in fallout from Lita getting beaten down by the two of them. The heel alliance starts early and they take turns choking Lita on the ropes. Lita slips out of a double suplex and grabs Trish’s mask. A double clothesline in the corner has Molly and Trish in more trouble but Trish is right back with a middle rope clothesline.

Lita gets in a quick rollup for two before hammering on the champ in the corner. Trish’s face is slammed into the mat but Molly throws Lita outside. The Molly Go Round connects with Lita diving back in for the save, followed by the hard DDT to Molly. Trish makes her own save and steals the pin to retain.

Rating: C. The match might have been a little sloppy and short, but they were showing an extra fire that you don’t often get from the women’s division of this era. Trish vs. Lita is building up rather well and as soon as Lita can keep her head on straight, she should be running through Trish for the title in a nice moment.

Post match Lita chokes Trish out and grabs at the mask again.

Flair tries to calm Batista down again as Batista gets his arm wrapped up, saying everyone goes through something like this. When HHH is ready to leave, Batista is ready to be the man. That’s not worth it to Batista, who is tired of waiting his turn. Flair: “I’VE BEEN TIRED FOR THIRTY TWO YEARS!” Flair doesn’t want this to turn into another Orton situation, but Batista says he wouldn’t regret it.

Video on Shelton Benjamin’s hometown, which included a lot of drug dealings and violence. Shelton got into trouble when he was in high school and was even a shoplifter who carried a gun with him to school. He got expelled, but he’s not proud of it. Rather random video, but these are effective most of the time, which was the case here.

Shelton Benjamin/William Regal/Eugene vs. La Resistance/Christian

Tyson Tomko is here with the villains. Regal gets taken into the wrong corner to start but Grenier is right back with a snapmare to take over. It’s off to Eugene for a headlock but he’s taken into the corner as well, allowing Christian to snap the back of his neck across the top rope. The choking begins and Conway makes it even worse by grabbing Eugene in a reverse chinlock (like a neckbreaker but with pulling instead of dropping).

Since it’s another chinlock, Eugene gets out without much effort and brings Shelton in to clean house. The top rope clothesline gets two on Conway with Tomko breaking up the cover. La Resistance hits a Hart Attack for two on Benjamin but Regal wrecks both of them. Eugene Stuns Conway into the exploder to give Benjamin the pin

Rating: C-. Completely watchable match here with the two feuds (Are these feuds?) being thrown into a single match for the sake of simplicity. Regal and Eugene are a fun team and while they’re not going to hold the titles very long, they’re a nice pickup every week. Benjamin on the other hand is looking like a star every time he’s out there.

Eugene brings the kids in for the post match dance.

Muhammad Hassan and Daivari complain about travel and threaten to beat respect into anyone who gets in his way.

Smackdown Rebound.

The cage is lowered.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Chris Benoit

Chris Benoit vs. Edge

Inside a cage. Benoit starts swinging right away and takes Edge into the corner for the chops. A hard whip takes Benoit down though and Edge gets a chance to hammer away for a change. Edge starts going after the back so Benoit sends him face first into the cage. There’s a baseball slide to drive Edge into the cage as this is more about the violence so far than the win. Edge slips out of a Crossface attempt and sends Benoit shoulder first into the post.

Benoit is right back with a catapult into the buckle for two as JR compares this to being trained in the Dungeon. Something tells me there weren’t a lot of catapults into buckles in there. A good crotching slows Benoit down and Edge kicks away in the Tree of Woe. They collide in the corner as Batista is shown watching in the back. We come back from a break with Edge chinlocking a bloody Benoit.

With that not working so well, Edge hammers away with right hands and sends him into the cage again. It’s still too early to escape though as Benoit pulls him back down, sending Edge face first into the buckle. The rolling Germans are on with Benoit hitting five in a row this time. Now it’s Benoit’s chance to go up but Edge makes a save of his own.

Rating: B-. Nice cage match but going from what was supposed to be a World Title match to this didn’t do it any favors. Edge messing up again and costing himself the big win will fuel his rage all the more, but does this really change anything? There’s no storyline advancement for this and Benoit winning is just a consolation prize.

Batista tells Flair he’s going to the ring and wants to see HHH out there. Flair needs to decide whose side he’s on.

They even pay off the doctor, who HHH says was worth every penny. HHH wasn’t going to fight in a cage because Benoit was running the shoe. He explains the entire play (which doesn’t have that many steps) and gives the MVP award to Batista. That was a performance worthy of an Academy Award (IT’S AN EMMY BECAUSE IT’S ON TELEVISION!!! STOP GETTING THAT WRONG!!!). HHH: “Or at least a Slammy!”

After posing with the title, HHH calls out the women but gets Randy Orton instead. He’s in charge next week, which doesn’t scare HHH because Orton can’t get a title match. Orton has two options for HHH: they face off one on one next week and if Orton wins, that stipulation is gone. HHH cuts him off before the second option is read and says no, so Orton goes with option #2: HHH defends the title in a battle royal. The roster comes out to the stage so the champ can panic to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. The matches did get better as the show went on, but there is no hiding the fact that nothing is happening at the moment. We’ve literally gone two weeks and the biggest development is Regal and Eugene winning the Tag Team Titles. HHH has had to defend the title against Maven and tonight he gets to be the genius who keeps the title again. You know there are going to be shenanigans next week as well, because that’s what this show is all about anymore. Nothing happened on this show, and that seems to be by design.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: November 15, 2004
Location: Conseco Fieldhouse, Indianapolis, Indiana
Attendance: 5,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the night after Survivor Series and that means it’s time for Team Orton to take over the show for the next four weeks. Assuming it’s not Randy Orton’s week to be in charge, you can all but guarantee the boss for the week getting a World Title shot against HHH. Then repeat that for two of the next three weeks. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

La Resistance is in the ring to open the show but here’s the still bandaged Maven to cut them off. He’s in charge tonight (at least they’re getting it out of the way) and has a few matches in mind. Edge and Christian will be teaming up to face Chris Benoit and Shelton Benjamin, JR will be facing Jonathan Coachman, and in a match close to Maven’s heart, Christy Hemme will face Stacy Keibler in a lingerie pillow fight. Oh and for the main event: Maven gets a World Title shot. As for La Resistance, they have a title defense right now.

Tag Team Titles: La Resistance vs. Rhyno/Tajiri vs. William Regal/Eugene

La Resistance is defending and this is under elimination rules. Rhyno hiptosses Conway to start but gets forearmed in the face for his efforts. A suplex gets Rhyno out of trouble and it’s off to Tajiri for the first time. Eugene gets to come in to snapmare Tajiri down for one but the airplane spin is countered into a rolling sunset flip. Another exchange of rollups gets two each but Lawler would rather talk about the pillow fight.

Back from a quick break with Eugene riding Tajiri around like a horse before running around in a circle. Conway tags himself back in so Tajiri fires off some kicks to the champs. Grenier’s suplex gets two and let’s talk about that pillow fight some more. Rhyno comes back in for some shoulders but the Gore misses in the corner, allowing Conway to grab a rollup with Grenier holding the foot from the floor for the elimination.

We’re down to two and Eugene’s ram into the corner just wakes him up. The power of French Canadians bring him back down though as Lawler thinks Regal is named Steven. A Rock Bottom drops Grenier and the hot tag brings in Regal to elbow the champs in the face. Everything breaks down and Conway hits Grenier with the flag by mistake. The knee trembler from Regal sets up the People’s Elbow from Eugene for the pin and the titles.

Rating: C-. Pretty dull match for the most part but the feel good moment at the end was nice. The problem is that Eugene has lost so much fire over the last few months that it doesn’t have quite the same spark. This should have been the big finale for Eugene and then have Regal lose the fall when they drop the titles. As it is it’s fun, but otherwise it could have been a great moment.

Post match Eugene brings in some fans for some fun, with Regal being more than willing to get involved.

Post break Regal dedicates the win to his father and says they’ll bring prestige back to the titles. Cue Eugene to pour chocolate milk over Regal and Maria. Regal seems to like it on her and Eugene comes back in, seemingly impressed as well. Regal: “STOP IT! YOU’LL GO BLIND! I on the other hand don’t mind losing one eye.” And he leaves with Maria.

Maven hits on Candice Michelle (Has she debuted yet?) before going into his office where HHH is waiting. He offers Maven a spot on the team if he’ll drop the match but Maven turns him down. Maven has to be banged up tonight but he’s willing to fight anyway. That’s why HHH wants him on the team, because that beatdown from Snitsky never would have happened if he was part of Evolution.

Everyone around here hates HHH because he tells the truth. Tonight, it’s a long shot for Maven but he could take the sure thing. Maven isn’t sure this time to end this after nearly five minutes. That’s four and a half minutes more than HHH should spend worrying about Maven. Seriously: it’s just Maven. Why is HHH sweating him?

Lita vs. Molly Holly

Lita goes aggressive with some knees to the ribs to start and follows them up with some stomping. A snap suplex gets Molly out of trouble and she pulls at Lita’s face. Lita’s Russian legsweep gets two as Lawler talks about her being a rather unscrupulous woman. Lita has had it with the covers and grabs a sleeper….for a submission. You don’t see that too often.

Post match here’s Trish Stratus, with a nose guard, after having it broken last night. She wants to fight right now with an assist from Molly, who gets DDT’d before Trish can get to Lita. That earns Trish a shove in the mask and Lita smiles as Trish panics.

Jonathan Coachman vs. Jim Ross

Coach is rather pleased with this but here’s Maven, who has made a mistake. Here’s the real match.

Jonathan Coachman vs. Randy Orton

Coach tries to run (JR tripping him didn’t help) and gets caught hiding behind the barricade. Orton tosses him back in for a crotching on the rope, setting up a poke to the eye and an RKO for the pin. Short and harmless.

Edge isn’t happy that he has to team with Christian again because he should be facing HHH for the World Title. Christian doesn’t like that so Edge flips off the camera, which sends us to a graphic of the tag match. Middle fingers aren’t allowed?

Orton talks to Maven about the World Title shot, but Maven isn’t sure about joining the team. That’s not cool with Orton, who explains how bad it can be. Maven brings up all of the success Orton had on the team and that sounds good.

Edge/Christian vs. Shelton Benjamin/Chris Benoit

Tomko is out with the Canadians. Christian jumps Benoit who is right back with the knee to the ribs as we cut to Edge for some reason. What’s with the cuts involving anything he does tonight? A double tag lets Edge hammer on Shelton and a clothesline keeps Benjamin down. Christian comes back in and makes the mistake of trying a monkey flip, allowing Shelton to stick the landing and snap off a powerslam.

It’s off to Benoit, who sends Edge running to the floor. Christian and Edge argue so it’s a double baseball slide to send them into the barricade and us to a break. It’s so strange to see Edge and Christian arguing. Brothers/friends/probably cousins at some point shouldn’t fight like that. Back with Edge working on Shelton’s arm with a cross armbreaker of all things, followed by a double hiptoss for two.

Christian stays on the arm for a bit until Edge’s assisted charge in the corner only hits the buckle. The Dragon Whip drops Edge and it’s off to Benoit as everything breaks down. Benoit German suplexes Christian and Edge spears Tomko by mistake. That means more German suplexes to Edge and an exploder from Shelton to Christian. The Swan Dive into the Crossface gives Benoit the tap.

Rating: B. Good action and the right finish here with Edge being protected and Benoit getting a win to keep him hot before he (likely) gets a World Title shot in a few weeks. If Raw has one strength right now, it’s being able to throw a wide range of people together for good tag matches and that’s what they did right here.

Post match Edge snaps again and beats up Christian.

Ric Flair comes in to see Maven and offers him a few ladies to help him with his decision. Maven doesn’t look sure.

Lawler and JR pitch aftershave.

Christy Hemme vs. Stacy Keibler

Lingerie pillow fight. They’re in lingerie, they hit each other with pillows and Christy wins. Why a bed was necessary in the ring isn’t clear. Why WWE had a bed on hand isn’t clear.

HHH and Batista admire the women and HHH makes fun of him for thinking. Batista doesn’t get the offer to Maven but thinks HHH might be scared. You don’t suggest that to HHH but he has a plan: who would you rather face for the World Title? If Maven wrestles for the title, the locker room will empty out to make him champion because he would be easy pickings. Makes sense actually. HHH makes fun of Batista’s intelligence again and there’s a future in that glare back.

Here’s Simon Dean, who thankfully has his customer in the ring this time. The customer is morbidly obese and in failing health (Dean’s words) so let’s start the Simon System. That begins with helping his nutrition, but he doesn’t like the Simon Bars. Dean is crushed, but here’s Rosey to interrupt. Dean doesn’t waste time here and calls Rosey fat so Rosey shoves a protein bar in Dean’s mouth. The customer gets pulled in and Dean hits Rosey in the head with a bottle of protein powder. We’ve spent three weeks on this to set up a feud with ROSEY?

Smackdown Rebound.

Jericho and Benoit come in to see Maven, making the girls leave. Maven still can’t make up his mind so Benoit asks how long he’s been wrestling. That would be three and a half years, which is a lot shorter than the eighteen years it took Benoit to get to the World Title. It’s not about the cars and the women because it can be about being World Champion.

Wrestlemania Recall: The Boyhood Dream has come true.

Muhammad Hassan introduces us to his uncle, who owns a store. Since 9/11, everything has changed and now he has to close up because no one will give him a chance. That won’t happen to Hassan, because he’ll beat the prejudice out of him. If necessary, he will lead a revolt against his own country. This is already going south and he hasn’t even debuted.

Here are Evolution to ask Maven for his decision. Maven has been thinking about it all night but has made up his mind.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Maven

Maven is challenging in case you’re a little slow this week. Batista and Flair get on the apron at the bell so here are Benoit and Jericho to even things up. A hiptoss and dropkick put HHH on the floor, thereby spending about half of Maven’s offense. Back in and Maven grabs the headlock so HHH drives him into the corner without much effort. Maven goes up, only to have Batista knock him off the ropes.

That’s an ejection so Flair shoves the referee and gets ejected as well. The jumping knee to the face kills Maven’s run and the spinebuster gets two, with Benoit and Jericho pulling the referee out. HHH glares at the Canadians, allowing Benoit to send him into the steps. The biased referee won’t eject Benoit and it’s a flying shoulder to take HHH down. A middle rope Blockbuster bulldog gets two so Benoit offers a distraction, allowing Jericho to hit a Lionsault.

That means a very delayed two and HHH has had it, setting up the Pedigree. Jericho puts Maven’s foot on the rope, which is FINALLY enough for an ejection. Benoit uses that distraction for a German suplex into the Swan Dive for another delayed two. Cue Edge to spear the referee by mistake so Jericho and Benoit beat down their fellow Canadian. It’s Batista and Flair coming in to clean house with Flair handing HHH the belt, but Orton runs in to knock HHH silly. Flair pulls the referee out at two though, drawing in Snitsky to beat up Orton. Snitsky kicks Maven in the face and another Pedigree retains the title.

Rating: D+. They did the only thing they could to make HHH vs. Maven watchable: they didn’t let us watch HHH vs. Maven. This was one puff of smoke and a mirror after another and that’s the exact way to go if the match has to take place. Now the good thing is that they didn’t try to make this anything serious. All night long they acted as if Maven was going to get his head handed to him and that’s what makes sense. They would have been nuts to try to make Maven a threat on his own and they didn’t try to, thank goodness.

Overall Rating: C-. Aside from helping Benoit and Jericho, I can’t picture Maven doing anything else in the main event scene and that’s the only call. He isn’t ready for this level and that’s become clear, so just let him go back to the lower midcard where he belongs. The Tag Team Title switch was cool, as was the tag match in the middle, but the rest of the show was just waiting to get Maven’s stuff done. Not bad, but just kind of a thing they did.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Survivor Series 2004
Date: November 14, 2004
Location: Gund Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Attendance: 7,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is an interesting show as the two big matches are a match where the impact comes over the next four weeks and another where there is little more than bragging rights on the line. The build for this show hasn’t been the strongest, though a lot of that is due to the changes taking place in the company. There are some fresh talents coming in and they’re still finding their footing, so it should be interesting to see where this show takes us. Let’s get to it.

We open with a look back at the show’s history, which means about five of the seventeen shows get a look. The video talks about trust and how only the strong will survive. Fair enough, though I’d have rather had more of the historical stuff.

Cruiserweight Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Billy Kidman vs. Chavo Guerrero vs. Spike Dudley

Spike is defending and it’s one fall to a finish. It’s a brawl to start with Rey taking a shot to the ribs and Chavo getting double teamed in the corner. Kidman doesn’t waste time in dropkicking Spike to the floor and here’s Spike to clothesline Kidman to the other side of the floor. That leave Rey to sunset flip Chavo for two and armdrag him outside. Spike replaces Chavo and stomps Rey down in the corner as Chavo comes back in.

A double clothesline puts Spike and Chavo down at the same time, leaving Rey to hurricanrana Kidman off the apron. Chavo picks Rey up and throws him into a seated senton Kidman, setting up a dive onto both of them. Spike’s dive just hits floor in a nasty crash but he’s fine enough to run back in and break up Chavo’s belly to back on Kidman. Rey gets whipped hard into the corner, leaving the other three to set up a Tower of Doom with Spike getting the worst.

Kidman was just the electric chair so he BK Bombs Rey but gets posted by Chavo. Spike’s running headbutt to the ribs puts Chavo down, only to have Rey come back with a 619 to the champ. Kidman breaks up the West Coast Pop and drops a slingshot legdrop on Chavo. Rey takes Kidman to the floor though, allowing Spike to pin Chavo to retain.

Rating: C+. Pretty good choice for an opener here with Rey and Chavo handling the dives and a Tower of Doom before it was a cliché. Spike retaining the title isn’t the most thrilling thing in the world but I think I could go for that over another Rey or Chavo reign. Kidman has already fallen off a lot and at the moment there isn’t another better option.

Gene Snitsky comes up to Heidenreich to compliment his poetry. Heidenreich likes what Snitsky does to babies. An uncomfortable amount of grunting ensues.

Intercontinental Title: Christian vs. Shelton Benjamin

Christian, now with Just Close Your Eyes for theme music and with Tyson Tomko in his corner, is challenging. Shelton goes with a hammerlock to start and Christian bails to the ropes to avoid the wrestling on the mat. Back up and Shelton blasts him with a shoulder to show off some power for a change. Christian is already frustrated and slaps the champ in the face before sending him over the ropes.

The cat is skinned and Shelton hits a springboard Blockbuster (looked like it was supposed to be a clothesline but he rotated too far) for two. For some reason that wakes Christian up even more and he hammers away in the corner. Shelton sticks the landing on a monkey flip and threatens Christian to the floor with a superkick, leaving the announcers to discuss the origins of the Oklahoma roll. A Tomko distraction lets Christian kick him into the barricade and the angry Christian pounds away.

The neckbreaker gets two and we hit the chinlock to stay on Shelton’s neck. Shelton gets thrown outside with someone’s elbow pad flying onto the announcers’ table in the process. Back in and Christian’s reverse tornado DDT gets two but Shelton reverses a whip to send Christian chest first into the buckle. A Jackknife rollup gets two and a reverse slingshot suplex (not quite a fisherman’s JR) is good for the same on Christian.

Shelton misses the Stinger Splash though and it’s an inverted DDT to give Christian two of his own. With nothing else working, Tomko slides the title in and even though it hits the referee in the foot, he doesn’t actually notice. It doesn’t work for Christian, who gets the title tossed, only to have Tomko kick Shelton in the face for two. Back up and Christian tries the Unprettier, which is countered into a quick exploder to retain the title.

Rating: B. This is a good example of a difficulty of five but an execution of ten. They went with a simple story but did it so well that it was easy to get behind as you wanted to see the more athletic champion overcome the cheating and retain. It’s a story that you can get into in a single viewing and Shelton played his role very well. Good match and I could go for another one.

Kurt Angle doesn’t like how Edge portrayed him in his book. He did like the chapter on Edge winning the World Title….or at least he would have if there had been one. Edge laughs it off because his team will win tonight and he’ll get a title shot. Angle goes off for his match but Eugene comes in to list off Angle’s resume and sing YOU SUCK.

Wrestlemania Recall: STONE COLD! STONE COLD! STONE COLD!

Team Angle vs. Team Guerrero

Kurt Angle, Carlito, Mark Jindrak, Luther Reigns

Eddie Guerrero, John Cena, Big Show, Rob Van Dam

Cena charges to the ring to chase Carlito off and beats Jesus up the aisle. Carlito keeps running and Cena shouts about Carlito sending his guys to stab him. With Jesus getting in a cheap shot, Carlito and Jesus jump into a car and run away. Everyone else gets in a fight on the floor and we get the opening bell, meaning Carlito is eliminated due to running away (in other words, he was injured).

We officially start with Show chopping Jindrak in the corner and handing it off to Van Dam for a spinning kick to the face. Rolling Thunder gives Eddie two and the headscissors/armdrag combination puts Jindrak and Reigns down. Angle comes in and punches Guerrero down before handing it back to Reigns for a backbreaker into a side slam. Jindrak’s full nelson is countered with a trip into the buckle but Kurt dives over to break up the hot tag attempt.

The chinlock goes on and switches into a front facelock before it’s back to Jindrak for more entry level offense. Actually hang on as he throws in a hip swivel in between the elbows. Eddie finally gets up and brings Rob in to punch Angle. Jindrak tries to save Angle from the Five Star but takes it instead, allowing Kurt to roll Rob up with the ropes for the elimination. Eddie is right back with a rollup in the ropes to get rid of Jindrak (with a fast count) to make it 3-2.

Big Show comes in to face Angle, who bails out so Reigns can do it instead. Reigns finally goes after the big bandage on the ankle, meaning it’s all of five extra seconds before the chokeslam can get rid of him. That leaves Angle by himself so he grabs the ankle lock, which is countered to send him into the aisle. Angle tries to leave but runs into Rob, who sends him backing up the aisle….and right into Show, with Angle reaching up and finding the very tall head to realize how much trouble he’s in. Back in and the FU into the frog splash is enough for the pin.

Rating: D. I was having flashbacks to the Hulkamaniacs vs. the Million Dollar Team from 1989 as the faces were never in serious trouble. There was almost no doubt after just a few minutes because Jindrak and Reigns were the lamest of goons against a bunch of top stars. They never did anything beyond stomps and slams and it wasn’t exactly believable that they could be a threat. There was no drama here and it showed badly.

We recap Heidenreich vs. Undertaker. I’d go into the details here but Heidenreich is the definition of a monster for Undertaker to slay. There have been a lot of them over the years but Heidenreich is one of the lowest of the low. He tried to crush Undertaker with a car, which worked as well as you might have expected. Then he read poetry and seemed to sexually assault Michael Cole. Do I need to continue the explanation?

Undertaker vs. Heidenreich

Undertaker punches him into the corner to start and the referee wisely bails out to the floor. There’s a big boot to put Heidenreich down and Undertaker sends the arm into the corner. Some pulls on the arm look to set up Old School but Heyman offers a distraction so Heidenreich can break it up with a low blow.

Undertaker gets crotched against the post, which Cole thinks may be a kink in his armor. They head outside with Undertaker taking over off the shots to the ribs and the elbows on the apron. The apron legdrop completes the standard sequence and now Old School can connect. A Downward Spiral has Heidenreich in more trouble but the running boot in the corner misses.

Undertaker gets knocked off the apron so Heidenreich can hammer away against the barricade for two back inside. The chinlock goes on for a bit until a clothesline gives Heidenreich two more. Undertaker gets in a suplex and it’s time for the slugout. The clothesline takes Heidenreich down and it’s Snake Eyes into the big boot.

Right hands get Heidenreich out of the chokeslam and a Boss Man Slam gives him two. The punches in the corner are countered into a weak Last Ride with Heidenreich grabbing the rope for the break. Undertaker slams his way out of a sleeper in a hurry and now the chokeslam connects. The Tombstone finally finishes Heidenreich off.

Rating: D. This was far worse than bad as it was really, really boring. Heidenreich had nothing that felt like a threat to Undertaker and the match itself was much longer than it needed to be at about sixteen minutes. The villains continue to be weak on Smackdown with Undertaker dispatching this goon without much serious trouble, as he should have done.

Eric Bischoff says Maven may not be wrestling tonight and since there is so little time left, Bischoff won’t be naming a replacement. His vacation is too valuable to listen to HHH’s complaints about a replacement.

We recap Trish Stratus vs. Lita. Trish mocked Lita for getting pregnant by Kane and referred to her as the Kiss of Death for destroying so many careers over the years. Lita lost the baby thanks to Snitsky but Trish wouldn’t shut up, with some of the best heel promos the women’s division has ever seen. Lita wants to kill her and if she wins the title as well, so be it.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Lita

Trish is defending and starts by hiding in the corner. That’s fine with Lita who slugs away and heads outside where a chair shots DQ’s Lita at just over a minute.

Post match Lita stays on her as Trish’s nose is busted.

Theodore Long comes in to see Team Guerrero and asks if he can talk to Cena alone. Show takes off his towel and Cena is a little disturbed. Long has some good news for him: Cena gets his US Title shot this week on Smackdown.

We recap JBL vs. Booker T. Booker earned the title shot by winning a title shot and the rest of the feud has been built around JBL’s lackey Orlando Jordan vs. interviewer Josh Matthews, because this feud doesn’t have the strongest legs.

Smackdown World Title: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Booker T.

JBL is defending and will leave Smackdown if he loses. Feeling out process to start with JBL shouting that this isn’t WCW. Some right hands have JBL in trouble so he hits Booker in the back of the head to take over. Booker’s clothesline doesn’t do him much good as a swinging neckbreaker gives the champ two. A much better clothesline sends JBL outside, though he’s fine enough to poke Booker in the eye.

They fight over the announcers’ table and it’s Jordan getting a cheap shot in from behind. We hit the cobra clutch on Booker, followed by some elbow drops for two. And now, just to mix it up a bit, we hit the chinlock. With that broken up, JBL heads up top and gets superplexed right back down. They head outside with a Book End dropping JBL again though Jordan keeps it on the floor.

JBL and Jordan both get taken out and it’s Booker’s missile dropkick for tow back inside. The Houston Hangover misses but Booker is right back with more kicks to the face. Another Jordan distraction lets JBL get two off a DDT….and the ref gets bumped. It’s Jordan coming in again and this time bringing in a chair. Cue Josh Matthews to take the chair away but JBL kicks him in the face. Booker gets in his own kicks but the second referee takes his time diving in for two, allowing Jordan to make the save. The Book End hits Jordan but JBL hits Booker with the title to retain.

Rating: D. Back to back overly long matches from the blue show with JBL and Jordan being as dull of a combination as you can get. The JBL title reign has lost what little charm it had thanks to the Jordan addition, as the guy isn’t adding anything and was the focal point of this feud, despite being that bad. Booker was trying but he needs something better than this reheated HHH/Ric Flair formula.

Evolution has a pep talk before the main event. HHH leaves and Batista talks about wanting to have his night running Raw. The seeds are being planted.

We recap the Raw elimination tag. Bischoff is tired of being in charge so he’s taking a month off. Therefore, the winning team gets to run Raw a week at a time for a month. They have all made it clear that if they win, they’re coming for the World Title, which is about as logical as you can get. The problem though is there’s little reason to watch this show because it’s all about the next four weeks.

Team HHH vs. Team Orton

HHH, Batista, Gene Snitsky, Edge

Randy Orton, Chris Jericho, Chris Benoit, Maven

There’s no Maven to start and Ric Flair is at ringside to make it 5-3. Benoit gets aggressive with Edge in the corner to start and elbows him in the face to take over. That’s enough to bring in Snitsky and Orton, which is quite the strange looking showdown. Their slugout doesn’t last long and it’s off to Jericho vs. HHH to keep up the alternating matchups. Orton is right back in to hammer on HHH with Flair panicking about HHH taking such a beating.

The jumping knee to the face gets HHH out of trouble and it’s Batista hitting his powerslam for two. Edge comes in and gets sent into the corner, allowing the quick tag to Benoit, who beats up everyone in short order. The rolling German suplexes have HHH in trouble and Benoit suplexes Edge onto him. A double Swan Dive gets two with Snitsky having to make a save.

The Sharpshooter has HHH In trouble but Snitsky makes another save. That’s enough for HHH to hit a quick Pedigree so Edge can pin Benoit for the first elimination. Jericho comes in next and gets taken down by a neckbreaker but HHH and Snitsky gets in a shouting match. HHH gets shoved down so Batista comes in to go nose to nose with Snitsky. Batista realizes what’s going on and breaks up the Walls on HHH.

Flair gets caught breaking up the Walls again and that means an ejection. With the referee taking care of Flair, Batista blasts Jericho and Orton with a double clothesline. Orton breaks up the big clothesline to Jericho with a belt shot and it’s a running enziguri to eliminate Batista. That’s not it for Batista to leave in peace though so he blasts Jericho with the big clothesline and then heads out. Snitsky comes in for stomping and choking instead of covering because he’s new at this. It’s off to Edge, who gets taken down with a sleeper drop but Snitsky breaks up the hot tag attempt. Everything breaks down again but here’s a bandaged up Maven to come in and go after Snitsky.

Maven’s middle rope bulldog takes HHH down but Snitsky caves his head in with a chair shot that would get him tossed out of the building today. Here it’s just a DQ, though HHH pins Maven with no trouble a second later. We’re down to HHH/Edge vs. Orton/Jericho with Jericho slipping out of the Pedigree but getting speared down for two. HHH and Edge smile down at Orton, who says bring it on.

The double stomping is on with Edge stomping away and handing it off to HHH, with JR losing his mind that Edge won’t get out of the ring. HHH’s DDT gets two and he argues with the referee, allowing Orton to roll him up for two. Edge comes in and accidentally spears HHH to give Orton the easy pin. We’re down to HHH vs. Orton with the former starting fast with a low blow. Orton gets up again and counters the Pedigree into the RKO for the pin. The Orton vs. HHH part was barely a minute and a half long.

Rating: B-. Perfectly watchable match here with Snitsky still being protected and Maven still being Maven. Other than that they’ve done a good job of making Orton look like a threat to the title, but the two Canadians are just kind of there with little reason to believe that they’re going to be a threat t o the title. That leaves us waiting until probably the Royal Rumble for a new challenger, meaning it’s time for winter vacation without missing any time from the show.

Orton poses to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This is a really weird one as it contains a lot of perfectly watchable to good wrestling, but absolutely nothing that changes anything long term. The main event stipulation lasts a grand total of four episodes of Monday Night Raw, and while that might change something, there’s no guarantee that any of this could actually matter. The Smackdown stuff was even less important with the two main matches being long and dull, leaving us with no one to challenge JBL at the moment.

Overall, the show is a rather quick sit (only a little over two and a half hours) with nothing too bad (boring, but not terrible). It could have been worse, but the biggest problem is how nothing actually matters in the end. Like I said, they’re in a big transitional period right now and while they probably have long term goals in mind, this is a rather hard stretch to get through because the villains feel like placeholders, which is the case with most of the stories at the moment. It can get better, but we have some long stretches to get through first.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: November 8, 2004
Location: Frank Erwin Center, Austin, Texas
Attendance: 4,300
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the go home show for Survivor Series and that means we’ll probably be seeing a bunch of singles matches between the people involved in the Win Eric Bischoff’s Job Match on Sunday. HHH still doesn’t have anyone chasing the title and that’s probably by design. HHH’s design that is. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with HHH in mid-promo in the ring, ranting about how he stayed home last week in an effort to teach people a lesson. All he found out was that there are a bunch of thickheaded people around here because they took the chance to attack Evolution. That attack put Ric Flair on the shelf and angered Batista. You won’t like him when he’s angry. That all happened under Bischoff’s watch, with Bischoff cutting him off and coming to the ring.

Bischoff explains the Survivor Series stipulation again but HHH grabs him by the jacket. That’s not a good idea as if HHH doesn’t let go, he might be losing the title. With his jacket now released, Bischoff explains things again so HHH gets in his face, saying a loss would mean a bunch of title defenses. Bischoff thinks it won’t be a problem so let’s have a match.

Batista vs. Randy Orton

Joined in progress after a break with Batista charging into an elbow but blocking the RKO. That’s enough to send Batista outside so he comes back in with the forearms and kicks in the corner. This time Orton takes him outside and sends Batista into the barricade, followed by his own right hands back inside. A thumb to the eye (shoutout to Naitch) lets Orton shoulder Batista to the floor but he’s right back in with a shoulder of his own.

The chinlock has Orton in trouble as Lawler freaks out over the possible handicaps at Survivor Series. Orton finally fights up and runs Batista over but HHH grabs the foot to block the RKO. That means the big clothesline from Batista but the referee ejects HHH. We take a break and come back with Batista getting two each off a neckbreaker and a suplex.

The chinlock goes on again as Batista doesn’t seem to quite know how to work a match this long yet (fair enough as he mainly does short matches or tags). This one doesn’t last as long though as Orton fights up but gets sent shoulder first into the post with a fall onto the steps making it even worse.

Now it’s a chinlock with a bodyscissors (now that’s better because it’s a somewhat different hold) until Batista fights up and hits a dropkick. A Cactus Clothesline puts them both on the floor and a DDT on the floor gets two back inside. The annoyed Orton stomps away and Batista is busted open. The RKO is countered into a spinebuster but Batista misses a charge into the corner, letting Orton get the rollup pin.

Rating: B-. Not bad here and they gave it a lot of time (about twenty minutes with commercials) with Orton winning clean. Batista got in a lot though and a loss to a bigger star like this, especially when he blocked the RKO over and over, isn’t going to hurt him. Orton needed a win to get him back on track too, though I’m not sure where that track can lead at the moment.

Post break Orton gives his team a pep talk but an enraged Batista runs in to go after all four of them. The whole team can barely stop him but Arn Anderson comes in and drives Batista away single handedly because he enforces order these days.

We recap Edge vs. Chris Benoit, with Edge snapping over having to team with him instead of getting the World Title shot. They lost the Tag Team Titles and Edge put a bloodied Benoit in the Crossface in a good segment.

Benoit promises to take care of Edge tonight with violence instead of catchphrases. Why yes, this is completely missing from the Network.

Tyson Tomko vs. Shelton Benjamin

Non-title and Christian is in Tomko’s corner. Tomko jumps him from behind to start but Shelton is right back with a knee to the face for two. A gorilla press into a fall away slam takes Shelton right back down and it’s time for a trip to the floor for a cheap shot from Christian. Back in and Shelton grabs a Russian legsweep but the Dragon Whip is countered into something like a chokeslam for two. The missed Stinger Splash makes it even worse but Shelton slips out of a powerslam, superkicks Christian, and hits the exploder to put Tomko away.

Rating: C. It didn’t have much time but it was similar to the first match: a talented guy against a monster (albeit a much less talented monster) with Shelton having to overcome the odds. Tomko looked downright competent here and it was probably the best match he’s had to date. Take it with the bag of salt required but it’s better than nothing.

Smackdown Rebound.

It’s time for the Highlight Reel with Trish Stratus and Lita as guests. Since Jericho seems a little intimidated by them, he has a referee here to keep them apart. With the referee holding them back, Trish calls Lita the Walking Kiss of Death and says that since Lita is here now, this show is getting canceled like Dark Angel. Jericho doesn’t like the sound of that but he’ll cancel his solution to Better Sl**s and Gardens because Trish brought the real thing right here. Trish brushes that off and says Lita has been out of action for too long (action in the ring that is).

While she’s been getting fat, Trish has been making history. Lita snaps and talks about wanting to get her hands on Trish for seven months. If she’s the Kiss of Death, Trish can pucker up on Sunday. This brings out Snitsky and he’s he’s got a baby in his arms. The baby is crying and Snitsky offers him to Lita, but pulls it back because he’s going to do whatever he wants to it….like PUNTING IT INTO THE CROWD. Avowed non-baby punter Jericho knocks Snitsky outside but gets kicked in the face for his efforts. A posting leaves Jericho down and Lita is terrified.

Here’s Simon Dean for a new life commercial. Just like last week, he’s bringing in a fan to try the system in person. The fan is picked, but Simon knows she’s not in great health because she’s so fat that she can’t take a shower. She’s so appalled that he picks someone else on the other side of the ring. This one isn’t happy with having Simon suggest that he needs help cleaning himself so we’ll move on to someone else.

The third fan finally agrees to get in the ring for a test of the Simon System. As Lawler makes jokes about her size, she introduces herself with Simon saying that everything must be bigger in Texas. Simon asks how long it’s been since she’s had sexual relations and knows that her friends just hang out with her because it makes them feel better.

She actually agrees to try the System and takes one of his drinks, which seems to taste pretty good. It helps you lose weight, and for someone her size, it should only take about twenty gallons a day. That means the drink goes onto Simon, who pours the rest onto her to end a long and not very funny segment. They’re trying to push someone but…..yeah I don’t see this one working.

HHH vs. Tajiri

Non-title. Hang on as here’s Snitsky to jump Tajiri in the aisle and kick him in the face. HHH is pleased and offers a handshake, but Snitsky says if they win, he’s coming for the title. You can hear the gulp from here.

Muhammad Hassan and Daivari are in a normal suburb with Hassan talking about growing up in a place like this. He was just like any other American and treated the same….until 9/11. All he wants is a chance. Daivari speaks Arabic

Pay per view rundown with Michael Cole and Tazz joining in for the Smackdown side.

Lawler starts up an OU SUCKS chant to annoy JR.

Edge talks about making his debut in this arena and how he wants to get his old feeling back by hurting Benoit. HHH comes in and downs some water to recover from his match. He’s looking forward to having Edge next to him instead of across from him on Sunday. HHH is worried about Snitsky but Edge says they’ll win because of him….and then he’ll come after the title himself. HHH having reality set in on him is always worth a look.

Here’s Edge vs. Benoit in Smackdown vs. Raw 2004. I played the heck out of that.

HHH rants to Batista about Edge and Snitsky, who Batista needs to set straight. He leaves the title behind and Batista takes a nice look at it.

Christy Hemme does the ring announcing for the main event. We spent how many months to get a new ring announcer?

Chris Benoit vs. Edge

Benoit isn’t wasting time and starts fast, knocking Edge outside and then throwing him back inside for a failed Crossface attempt. A belly to back suplex is more of a success as the announcers talk about all the people wanting a shot at HHH. Edge pulls him to the floor to get something going for the first time but a clothesline takes care of that in a hurry. That’s enough for Edge who tries to walk out, though he’s just suckering Benoit in for a smart move. Benoit goes back first into the apron and we take a break.

Back with Edge holding a chinlock and adding some right hands to the face for a bonus. With Benoit in trouble, here are Batista and HHH for a closer look. Now it’s Maven, Jericho and Orton to stare at the two of them because they’re bullies who need a numbers advantage. We actually focus on the match for a bit with Benoit walking into a spinebuster for more right hands to the head.

Edge takes too long going up and gets headbutted into a top rope superplex for a rather nice crash. Benoit gets the better of a slugout and knocks Edge off the apron, giving us another staredown from everyone outside. Not being one to wait, Benoit goes after Edge and catapults him into the steps. The Sharpshooter goes on until Edge makes the ropes so Benoit rolls the German suplexes. Edge is busted open as Benoit’s Swan Dive gets two, meaning the Crossface goes on. Everyone comes in and it’s a no contest.

Rating: B-. These two have always had good chemistry together and that was on display here, even with all the distractions going on around them. The ending didn’t help things but it does make sense with the main story. These two had a reason to be fighting other than just being on different teams on Sunday. That’s so much better than “here’s a preview for Sunday” with nothing else between the two of them.

Post match Snitsky cleans house and Team HHH gets in the ring for a staredown. The other four come back in and take care of the villains to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. The wrestling was good, but outside of the opener and main event, there wasn’t much of it to be seen. The problem at the moment is that the entire show is built around one match on Sunday, which is setting up the next month’s worth of shows. There’s something to everyone coming for HHH’s title, but this show made it clear that I need to watch the upcoming Raw’s instead of Survivor Series. That’s a rather backwards way of doing things and while this show was certainly watchable, I don’t really care to see the Raw half of the pay per view.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Wrestlemania XXXII
Date: April 3, 2016
Location: AT&T Stadium, Arlington, Texas
Attendance: 101,763
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton

As we get ready for the pre-show matches, the place might be 10% full at this point as there was some confusion in opening the gates. There were no lines and it was just a sea of humanity trying to get inside.

Pre-Show: Ryback vs. Kalisto

Ryback plants him off a headlock and easily throws the champ outside. Kalisto gets in a quick bulldog for two but the kickout sends him outside. Some double knees to the chest get the same result and Ryback gets to show off by gorilla pressing Kalisto up the steps and back inside. We take a break and come back with Kalisto taking a hard elbow to the jaw for two.

Team Total Divas vs. Team B.A.D. and Blonde

Total Divas: Natalya, Brie Bella, Paige, Alicia Fox, Eva Marie

B.A.D. and Blonde: Naomi, Lana, Summer Rae, Tamina, Emma

Post match Nikki Bella comes out in her neck brace in what is supposed to be some big moment.

Usos vs. Dudley Boyz

Post match the Dudleyz load up some tables but get splashed through them instead. Cool visual if nothing else.

Fifth Harmony sings a very nice rendition of America the Beautiful.

Inter-continental Title: Kevin Owens vs. The Miz vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Zack Ryder vs. Stardust vs. Sin Cara vs. Sami Zayn

Cara hits the big dive to put Stardust through the ladder, leaving Owens and Zayn to slug it out above the ring. Sami gets the better of it and hits the half and half suplex to drop Owens head first into a ladder (sick looking landing). That lets Sami go up until Miz shoves him over but this time Miz takes too long going up, earning himself a big shove off from Ryder, who climbs the ladder for the huge upset at 15:24.

AJ Styles vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho drives him into the corner to start and the AJ STYLES chants are already going nice and strong. Styles gets in a hurricanrana and a snappy armdrag before sending Jericho outside. That should mean a slingshot dive but Jericho dropkicks him out of the air to take over. Back in and a neckbreaker sets up a dragon sleeper for a change of pace.

AJ tries to fight back but gets pulled down into the Walls for some good old fashioned ASK HIM/AHHHH exchanges. A rope is grabbed so AJ can hit the moonsault into a reverse DDT for two. Both guys head to the corner for a super sitout gordbuster and one heck of a crash. The Pele is countered into a Walls attempt but AJ reverses that into the Calf Crusher.

The Styles Clash is broken up and a Codebreaker gets a delayed two (with Cole making sure to say the near fall was due to the delay in a nice touch). For a change of pace, Jericho loads up AJ for the Styles Clash but gets planted face first for two instead. A rollup exchange sets up the real Styles Clash for two and the springboard 450 gets the same. With nothing else left, AJ heads to the apron and loads up the Phenomenal Forearm, only to have Jericho shove the referee away and catch Styles with the Codebreaker for the pin at 17:08.

New Day vs. League of Nations

Dean Ambrose vs. Brock Lesnar

Anything goes and Heyman gives Brock a big, over the top intro. JBL gives us a good example of trying to be too smart by calling Lesnar a former NWA Champion (assuming he means NCAA), which of course he never won. Brock hits the first suplex inside of ten seconds and the huge video screen above the ring kept count (It had been all over the place all night with unicorns for the New Day and various three camera shot replays. In other words, it was annoying in a hurry.).

Hall of Fame time with a pretty good class:

Godfather (So completely out of place here.)

Stan Hansen (How was he not in already?)

Joan Lunden (Warrior Award, which seems to have been forgotten this year.)

Fabulous Freebirds (You could argue they were the headliners.)

Snoop Dogg (Harmless. Not exactly PG but harmless.)

Sting (Only entrance and the loudest reaction.)

Everyone trades rollups to start in a fast and pretty athletic sequence until Charlotte kicks Becky in the face. That earns a nice round of applause and you can tell the women are ready tonight. A hurricanrana sends Charlotte across the ring and Sasha throws in an Eddie dance. They botch (not bad) a sunset flip/German suplex spot before Charlotte it sent outside, leaving Sasha to elbow Becky in the face.

Charlotte poses and gets some pyro to really make this special.

The Cell is lowered for the 33^rd time in WWE history. That stat kind of pulls things back a bit no?

Shane McMahon vs. Undertaker

Rating: D-. WAY too long here with a match that should have been a glorified squash (which this was) that ran only about half this long. The idea that Shane could hang in there with Undertaker under these or any circumstances (including a bunch of run-ins, which never happened), is a combination of insulting and stupid.

The pre-show panel chats for a bit.

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Konnor gets rid of Page a few seconds later as this is already pretty dull stuff. The yet to be official Golden Truth eliminates Konnor and Tatanka goes on a warpath that no one was asking for. Corbin tosses Tatanka to no reaction and Kane backdrops Swagger out. The Social Outcasts of all people clean house and get rid of Goldust and Truth. We get a victory lap until Kane and Corbin get rid of Rose and Axel.

Wrestlemania XXXIII is in Orlando.

The Rock vs. Erick Rowan

Rock Bottom, six seconds. Again, I saw this called Rock burying the Wyatts. You know, because people are worried about ERICK ROWAN needing protection.

WWE World Title: Roman Reigns vs. HHH

Rating: D. And a lot of that is just for having the guts to go out there and do a match this boring in this spot on this show. This match was twelve minutes of HHH working on the arm and then getting into the main event style that went exactly where we knew it was going. The lack of drama or really anything interesting (save for that Stephanie spear) killed this and there was no recovering given how long the thing ran.

A quick celebration sets up the traditional long music video to wrap things up.

Ratings Comparison

Zack Ryder vs. Stardust vs. Sin Cara vs. Sami Zayn vs. Kevin Owens vs. The Miz vs. Dolph Ziggler

Original: B

Redo: B

AJ Styles vs. Chris Jericho

Original: B

Redo: B

New Day vs. League of Nations

Original: C-

Redo: D+

Brock Lesnar vs. Dean Ambrose

Original: D+

Redo: C+

Charlotte vs. Becky Lynch vs. Sasha Banks

Original: B+

Redo: A-

Shane McMahon vs. Undertaker

Original: D

Redo: D-

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Original: D

Redo: D

The Rock vs. Erick Rowan

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

HHH vs. Roman Reigns

Original: D

Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: C-

Redo: D

Oh yeah I was still feeling the in-person vibe when I watched this back the first time. A C- is WAY too generous.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2016/04/08/wrestlemania-xxxii-strap-yourselves-in-this-is-a-long-one/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Wrestlemania XXXII
Date: April 3, 2016
Location: AT&T Stadium, Arlington, Texas
Attendance: 101,763
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton
America the Beautiful: Fifth Harmony

The stadium looks nothing short of amazing, despite being mostly empty for the pre-show due to a lot of issues with getting people inside.

Pre-Show: US Title: Kalisto vs. Ryback

Pre-Show: Total Divas vs. Bad and Blonde

This would be Brie Bella/Alicia Fox/Paige/Eva Marie/Natalya vs. Lana/Naomi/Summer Rae/Tamina/Emma in a match with no story worth mentioning because these things never have stories of note. Summer elbows Alicia in the face to start before getting two off a DDT. A tag to Emma draws all ten of them in for a huge staredown as we take a break. Back with Eva coming in to some horrible booing to face Emma. A not bad headscissors puts Emma down but Eva slaps Natalya hard on th\e shoulder instead of tagging Paige.

Pre-Show: Usos vs. Dudley Boyz

Post match the Dudleyz get the tables, only to get superkicked again to set up double Superfly Splashes through the tables. The fans are NOT happy with that one.

Pop band Fifth Harmony sings a very nice America the Beautiful.

The opening video shows the Madison Square Garden microphone dropping to signify the start of a legend. Over the years this led to a group of legends such as giants, warriors and the dead rising. That brings us to the question of who becomes the next legend. This switches into a standard video about people rising up tonight to become legends in the usually awesome Wrestlemania style. Apparently this was narrated by Kelsey Grammer.

The camera pans around the stadium and that is just a sea of humanity.

Intercontinental Title: Kevin Owens vs. Sami Zayn vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Miz vs. Zack Ryder vs. Stardust vs. Sin Cara

Owens and Zayn go up top for the slugout on the ladder before falling down, only to have Zayn grab a half and half suplex (half nelson/half tiger) onto the ladder. Miz climbs up but takes forever to pull down the belt, allowing Ryder to shove him off and pull down the title at 15:23.

We recap AJ Styles vs. Chris Jericho. Styles debuted back in January and was immediately cheered by the fans. He then went on to defeat Jericho on Raw, setting up a series of matches between the two. They then formed a tag team but lost in their shot at the Tag Team Titles. Jericho snapped and turned heel on AJ, setting up their fourth match here.