Monday Night Raw – February 11, 2019: Identity Crisis

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 11, 2019
Location: Van Andel Arena, Grand Rapids, Michigan
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Renee Young

It’s the go home Raw before Elimination Chamber and, thanks to some announcements made earlier in the day, we now have some matches for Sunday from the red side. As for tonight, Becky Lynch has been invited to the show and Seth Rollins is ready to respond to Brock Lesnar after the beatdown from two weeks ago. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

HHH and Stephanie McMahon are in the ring to open the show with Stephanie talking about the “Elimination Chamber View” on Sunday before correcting herself. HOW DARE SHE GO OFF SCRIPT LIKE THAT!!!! So totally unprofessional. They run down the card with a focus on Ronda Rousey vs. Ruby Riott, leading into a recap of last week’s issues with Becky Lynch. This brings out Becky to say it’s nice to be here and nice to see both of them, especially since the swelling has gone down on Stephanie’s face. Becky: “I’ll hit you harder next time.”

Becky doesn’t get that because it was their idea to make her see a doctor in the first place. Stephanie: “Don’t be stubborn.” Becky: “SHUT YOUR FACE!” The McMahons have been screwing people over for decades and no one is stealing her opportunity. She’ll fight Vince himself if she has to but she’s not apologizing. Stephanie and Becky go face to face so HHH breaks it up and tells Becky that she has a choice. She can die on this hill and throw it all away or she can go to Wrestlemania. He wants an answer tonight.

Boss And Hug Connection vs. Nia Jax/Tamina vs. Liv Morgan/Sarah Logan

The team that takes the fall enters the Chamber first. During their entrances, Bayley and Sasha summarize their year and say nothing can break them no matter what. Nia and Tamina promise to win because they’re Samoans. Since you don’t want to be in first here, Sasha makes Morgan start with Nia and then bails to the floor before a tag. Logan tries to headbutt Nia and just gets headbutted back down. No one can do anything with Nia so thankfully it’s off to Tamina for a chinlock on Morgan. Nia comes back in so Liv kicks away at the knee but Bayley tags herself in.

The Squad beats Bayley and Sasha down as we take a break. Back with Banks down on the floor (again) as Bayley gets beaten down by the Samoan Slaughterhouse (yes the Samoan Slaughterhouse, which someone got paid to create). Sasha is taken out by medics as the beatdown continues without much effort. Bayley fights up and makes the tag off to Logan, who gets chinlocked as well.

The top rope splash misses though and it’s back to Bayley to clean house. Why she doesn’t just sit on the floor or walk out since there’s no benefit to winning the match isn’t clear, but my guess is general face nitwitedness. The running dropkick beneath the bottom rope hits Morgan and the top rope elbow gets two as Logan saves. There’s the Bayley to Belly to Morgan but Tamina is back in with a superkick. Nia comes in with the Samoan drop to finish Bayley at 14:40.

Rating: D+. I’ve seen worse and while it’s understandable that they can’t have Banks in the ring, the inclusion of Nia and Tamina just sucks the life out of anything. They’re going to get pushed because they’re monsters and they’ll tell you about how Samoan they are, which is the extent of anything they have going for them. Bayley and Banks as the first entrants can make for a heck of a run, though I can’t imagine they actually win.

Elias is in the ring as Becky is contemplating things in the back. Balor comes up to her and talks about Bobby Lashley and Lio Rush (dude stop being selfish). He knows she’ll do the right thing and take care of things. Becky: “You’re still awesome.”

Elias is ready to perform but we get a long video on Seth Rollins’ rise back up the ranks to the main event of Wrestlemania.

Elias is ready to play one more time but here’s Lucha House Party to cut him off. That’s enough for Elias, who snaps about being disrespected and his album not being nominated or a Grammy. Kalisto tells him to chill, because they want to walk with Elias. It’s finally time to sing the song, which is about how terrible it is to be in Grand Rapids. Kalisto gets in some guitar playing of his own and does quite well, earning himself a guitar to the back. Elias bails before he gets beaten down as well. I’ve heard worse ideas for a short feud.

Finn Balor vs. Drew McIntyre

Lashley and Rush are at ringside. An early Rush distraction lets McIntyre hammer away and the chinlock goes on in a hurry. Balor sends him into the corner but gets pulled out to the apron. A missed charge sends McIntyre hard into the post but it’s Lashley grabbing the boot to break up a dive. One heck of a dropkick through the ropes drops Rush and it’s a Sling Blade to McIntyre, drawing in Lashley for the DQ at 3:02.

Rating: D+. Not enough time to mean anything but it was an angle instead of a match anyway. They were smart to not have McIntyre take a fall here as there was no point to this being anything other than a DQ. It served a purpose and let us have an energetic burst, at least while it lasted before what is likely a tag match.

Post match the beatdown is on until Kurt Angle makes the save. Rush gets his ankle locked until Baron Corbin runs in to take Angle out. Braun Strowman makes the final save and Corbin actually stays to fight, with McIntyre saving him from the powerslam. You know what’s next.

Baron Corbin/Lio Rush/Drew McIntyre vs. Kurt Angle/Finn Balor/Braun Strowman

Joined in progress with McIntyre in trouble until he drives Balor into the corner for some choking on the ropes. Balor fights over and brings in Angle without much trouble, meaning Kurt can clean some house. A middle rope missile dropkick (didn’t look to make much contact but a camera cut makes the save) sets up the Angle Slam for two with Lashley making the save. Lashley plants Angle with a Downward Spiral and it’s Corbin grabbing the chinlock.

Angle fights back until getting sent to the floor as we take a break. Back with Balor fighting back but having the Sling Blade countered into a chokebreaker for two. Lashley comes back in to stay on the ropes but a powerbomb is countered into a basement dropkick. McIntyre and Strowman knock each other down on the floor, leaving Balor to block the spear and dive on McIntyre in a quick switch. Back in and Balor knocks Rush down, allowing Lashley to crotch him on top.

The spinning Dominator gets the pin on Balor, despite the boot being on the rope. I’m not sure what the point of a screwy finish there would be but it might not have been intentional. Cue a second referee to say what happened and the match is CONTINUING after another break. Good grief this is as obvious of a case of a match being extended that I can remember seeing in a long time.

Back again with Balor in trouble as Strowman has been knocked over the barricade and Angle is down outside. Balor fights out of a chinlock and hits a double stomp to Lashley, which is enough to tag in Strowman for the real comeback. Strowman heads outside for the running shoulders around the ring, followed by the running powerslam to Lashley. Balor adds the Coup de Grace for the pin at 22:18.

Rating: D. This was far from the worst match I’ve ever seen or even a terrible one but it felt like it went on for hours. There are very few things more annoying than a match that keeps going because it needs to keep going, which is exactly what was happening here. It doesn’t exactly help that this isn’t the most thrilling set of feuds in the world. Balor vs. Lashley is fine, but it wasn’t much more than that.

Kevin Owens is at a bowling alley and says he’s been spending as much time as he can with his family during his time off. He and his son have been watching Raw and it’s rather hard sometimes. It’s either going to be Raw or Smackdown but he’ll be back in about a month. Owens throws a gutter ball and seems rather ok with things.

Becky has no answer for what she’s going to do.

Video on the March on Washington.

Nikki Cross vs. Ruby Riott

This could be interesting. Nikki tells her to come on and grabs a rather aggressive headlock. The sleeper goes on with Riott standing up to drive her into the corner. Riott uses the knees to drive Nikki face first into the buckle as we cut to (full screen of course) Ronda Rousey getting in Becky’s face to say it’s bigger than two of them. Becky needs to man up and apologize, even if she doesn’t mean it.

Back to the match (because we can cut away from this but not Baron Corbin Chinlock Theater) with Nikki getting put down with an STO for two. Another STO on the apron is countered into a layout reverse DDT to put Riott on the floor. Ruby gets caught in the ring skirt for some forearms to the head but Riott kicks her off the top. The Riott Kick finishes Cross at 5:22.

Rating: C-. Completely unnecessary time away from the match aside (it came after a twenty two minute match and they take it away from a five minute match instead), this was entertaining while it lasted and Riott getting a win is fine. It’s also ok with Cross losing as she isn’t the kind of person who is going to be hurt by a loss due to her complete insanity.

Here’s Rollins to talk about Wrestlemania but he’d rather talk about the last twelve months. He accomplished a lot and it all culminated at the Royal Rumble. Rollins was at the top of the world but the next night it was knocked down with six F5’s. He’s never felt pain like that but what matters is he’s back up. Wrestlemania might be the last match of his career, but here’s Paul Heyman to interrupt. After teasing Lesnar being here (with Rollins not buying it), Heyman says he’s here to educate Seth.

For some reason Seth assumes that all men are created equal, but that’s not true. Rollins’ DNA does not match Lesnar’s because Brock is a rage filled monster. We call this a suicide mission, but Rollins says he’s fine with that. He’s tired of Lesnar holding the Universal Title hostage and he’ll do whatever it takes to prevent Lesnar from leaving Wrestlemania as champion. That’s not a prediction, but rather a spoiler. Heyman leaves and here’s Dean Ambrose….to tell Rollins to slay the beast. Dean sits down in the timekeeper’s area and Rollins leaves.

EC3 vs. Dean Ambrose

After the IIconics say winning the titles would be the perfect coronation for them, EC3 kicks and punches away to start, followed by a middle rope dropkick. A suplex sets up a nerve hold but EC3 can’t hit the 1%er. Instead he goes shoulder first into the post and Dean makes the comeback with a Boss Man Slam getting two. So is Dean suddenly just a face again? He’s certainly wrestling like one. EC3 crotches him on top but gets small packaged to give Dean a fast pin at 3:54.

Rating: D+. Uh….ok then. So Dean is leaving in less than two months and is now trading wins with the newcomer while suddenly turning face after months of being a heel? It makes as much sense as some of the things they’re doing right now, but that’s never stopped them before and it won’t do it now.

Alexa Bliss tells Becky not to apologize, which Becky knows is just a way to get into the title shot at Wrestlemania. Bliss says do whatever you want, but an apology makes you the Irish girl who swallowed her pride and sold out. Becky: “If I apologize, the only thing I’ll be selling out is Wrestlemania.”

Tag Team Titles: Revival vs. Bobby Roode/Chad Gable

Roode and Gable are defending. Wilder slams his way out of an armbar to start and brings Dawson in. That means another armbar from Gable as everything breaks down. The champs are sent outside with Gable hitting a moonsault onto both of them as we take a break. Back with Roode fighting out of a chinlock and bringing Gable back in. Dawson takes him down with another chinlock and it’s time to go after the arm.

A hard belly to back suplex sets up an assisted legdrop for two from Wilder. Another chinlock is broken up with another belly to back suplex but Roode gets pulled off the apron. Back from another break with Dawson getting catapulted into the corner, allowing the hot tag to Roode. House cleaning ensues with Roode bailing out on the Blockbuster but settling for a heck of a spinebuster for two on Wilder. Revival makes a blind tag though and a Gory Special/bulldog combination gives Dawson two (cool move at least).

Gable comes back in with a high crossbody to Dawson, followed by a Blockbuster/German suplex combination (with Wilder landing on his head) for another near fall. Wilder gets Gable up for a powerbomb (after a sunset FLIP off the top) with Dawson adding the top rope clothesline but Roode dives in for the last second save. Roode sends the Revival into each other, leaving Dawson to catch him with a DDT. A quick jackknife rollup gives Gable two but it’s a blind tag into the Shatter Machine to FINALLY make the Revival champions at 19:50.

Rating: B+. Well it took long enough and at least they won the belts in a very good match. I have no idea if this is going to put the Revival Might Leave rumors to bed but at least everything worked on the way there and we had an awesome match to finish things off. Roode and Gable never felt like anything more than transitional champions and there’s nothing wrong with that. Revival is LONG overdue to win these things and I’m rather pleased with how we got here.

Post match, Revival heads to the back and says they’ve been telling everyone that they’re the best and now they’ve proven it.

Here’s Becky for the decision, because somehow the ending of the go home show for Elimination Chamber is about HHH and Stephanie getting an apology to set up a Wrestlemania match. The bosses come out as well and talk about how Becky needs to accept the consequences for her actions so she can go to Wrestlemania. The fans don’t want Becky to do it so HHH tells her to ignore the fans and get Wrestlemania like she wants.

Becky quickly apologizes and walks away from a handshake, saying that now there is no one stopping her from her dream. HHH offers his congratulations, shakes Becky’s hand and says she’s going to Wrestlemania. Becky: “Wait that’s it?” HHH: “You’re going to Wrestlemania.” HHH and Stephanie leave as Becky starts talking about Ronda, who comes out to hear it in person.

Before it can get physical, here’s Vince McMahon to cut them off. He doesn’t buy the apology so Becky is suspended for SIXTY DAYS, meaning she’s out of Wrestlemania and Charlotte is in instead. Vince raises Charlotte’s arm and tells Rousey to get used to this scene, because it’s how Wrestlemania will end. I don’t think anyone really believes this is sticking, but it’s a nice cliffhanger.

Overall Rating: C-. That’s a crazy nice bump at the end as this was looking like a terrible show until the last thirty five minutes or so. The big thing continues to be WWE not knowing where to focus though, as we’re dealing with Wrestlemania build while also setting up Elimination Chamber on Sunday. It’s not going to get any better with Fastlane taking place in less than a month, and that’s not a good idea with so much other stuff going on.

At some point they need to pick a focus and stick with it, because we’re getting two half builds instead of one good one. That’s fine when it’s building to a big match, but I find it hard to care that much when the major Raw match on Sunday is for the inaugural Women’s Tag Team Titles and the first champions might not even be on this show. The last fourth or so of this show is good, but the rest is about as skippable as you can ask for.

Results

Nia Jax/Tamina b. Boss and Hug Connects and Sarah Logan/Liv Morgan – Samoan drop to Bayley

Finn Balor b. Drew McIntyre via DQ when Bobby Lashley interfered

Finn Balor/Braun Strowman/Kurt Angle b. Drew McIntyre/Bobby Lashley/Baron Corbin – Coup de Grace to Lashley

Ruby Riott b. Nikki Cross – Riott Kick

Revival b. Chad Gable/Bobby Roode – Shatter Machine to Gable

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/11/20/new-paperback-complete-1997-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Unforgiven 2004 (2019 Redo): A Problem Then And A Problem Now

IMG Credit: WWE

Unforgiven 2004
Date: September 12, 2004
Location: Rose Garden, Portland, Oregon
Attendance: 10,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is another case of a one match show, which tends to be the case in the HHH era. In this case it’s HHH getting (another) title shot against Randy Orton, who was thrown out of Evolution last month. It’s not exactly a thrilling concept but there’s no escaping HHH’s title hunts of destiny. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at Orton being thrown out of Evolution and trying to become the top face in the company by running away over and over. It’s set to Saliva’s Survival of the Sickest, which was the song that kind of finished me with the band. I’m going to be extra sick of it by the end of the show, but that might just be due to hearing about this match all night long.

Batista/Ric Flair vs. William Regal/Chris Benoit

Benoit and Batista start things off as Lawler hopes Eugene is home watching the radio. An early Crossface attempt sends Batista bailing to the ropes, followed by a quick takedown for the tag off to Regal. A t-bone suplex drops Batista and it’s back to Benoit, who gets chopped by Flair. The backdrop has Flair in more trouble (as always) and it’s Regal coming in, only to have the knee taken out.

Benoit makes a quick save so Batista takes Flair’s place with a chinlock. Regal gets up and sends him into the corner for the break though and it’s a hot (ish) tag to Benoit for the real house cleaning. Everything breaks down with Benoit snapping off German suplexes all around. The Swan Dive connects and the Crossface goes on Flair, drawing in Batista to pick Benoit up for the break. Regal sends Batista over the barricade, leaving Benoit to get the Crossface again to make Flair tap.

Rating: D+. This didn’t have the slightest spark to it and felt like they were all just missing. It’s more an issue that I’ve seen them do a variety of combinations with these same people over and over to much better results. Regal getting involved is long overdue and I’m glad to see him getting a chance on the bigger stages like this. Everyone was missing here though, which is going to happen every now and then.

Christian doesn’t want Tyson Tomko to go to ringside with Trish Stratus for the Women’s Title match. It doesn’t matter as Christian has to go to the ring alone so what difference does it make? Tomko gets to decide, so Trish invites him to her dressing room after the match. Tomko to Christian: “Good luck.”

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Victoria

Trish is defending and has Tomko with him. Victoria takes her down to start and the champ bails to the floor in a hurry. As Lawler makes it clear that Trish is NOT a s***, she sends Victoria into the corner for some choking on the rope. That’s broken up and it’s a gorilla press gutbuster to send Trish outside. Tomko takes her away before Victoria can dive and it’s a posting to keep Victoria down again.

We hit the armbar for a bit, followed by a hair pull as the offense devolves a few levels. The chinlock is broken up so Trish grabs a spinebuster for two, followed by another chinlock to keep things fresh. The comeback doesn’t take long with Victoria fighting up and hitting the spinning side slam. Victoria gets two off the dancing moonsault but goes with a slingshot dive onto Tomko instead of following up. Stratusfaction retains the title a few seconds later.

Rating: D. The wrestling wasn’t good and it came after an ice cold build that was more about Christian vs. Trish than anything else, even though Christian only came back less than a week ago. This division is still dying for some fresh talent, but that’s been the case for so long now that it’s a feature instead of a condition. They’re trying, but they have no help in terms of build or interest from anyone.

Post match Tomko goes after Victoria, drawing in Stevie in drag for the save. Stevie leaves and Tomko wants him back out here for a match RIGHT NOW.

Stevie Richards vs. Tyson Tomko

Stevie comes back out as JR says this is the worst kept secret in wrestling. Tomko punches him in the face and we start the removal of clothing, because that’s what this match is really about due to whatever bad ideas Vince was having at the time. The wig goes off as well and Tomko shoves Richards’ implants into his mouth. Some right hands have Richards in more trouble as his bra comes off.

Rating: WIDANF. For Wrestlers in drag are not funny. I don’t get what WWE sees in this idea and I really, really don’t want to. I would love to have someone explain the point of this whole thing to me or why this needed pay per view time. It really does feel like they threw this out there because Vince would find it funny and nothing more. Lucky us.

We recap Chris Jericho vs. Christian for the Intercontinental Title. Edge was champion but got injured and had to forfeit the title, setting up this match with Christian replacing Edge in a ladder match for the vacant Intercontinental Title. Christian had been put on the shelf after a match with Jericho so this was a perfectly logical move and about as good as they had given the circumstances.

Intercontinental Title: Christian vs. Chris Jericho

Ladder match with the title vacant coming in and no one at ringside. They talk some trash to start until Jericho hits a few suplexes. A trip to the floor lets Jericho throw a ladder at him to no avail so Christian scores with some right hands. Back in and Christian chokes on the ropes so Jericho enziguris him right back down. When all else fails, kick the guy in the head. Another ladder is grabbed and slammed into Christian’s ribs but another big show misses.

They fight into the crowd as JR wants to know the difference between a Peep and a Jericholic. Jericho chokes with a cord but gets pulled into an Unprettier on the floor, which should be enough to win just about any match. Here it’s only enough to get a single hand on the title (those ladders are timely) so Christian ladders him down and puts said ladder onto the top turnbuckle. As expected it’s Christian going face first into the steel instead, with JR saying even barbecue sauce couldn’t make that taste good.

Jericho sets the ladder up but goes into it instead, giving us another double knockdown. A catapult sends Jericho face first into a ladder bridged across the middle rope, followed by Jericho shoving one into Christian’s face for another hard shot. Jericho channels his inner Shawn by riding the ladder down onto Christian’s back and the fans are rather pleased. They’re both hurt so Christian ties him in the Tree of Woe in the ladder and hits a running knee instead of, you know, going for the title.

Christian does climb, so Jericho gets out of the corner and flips him off, which is enough to get Christian down. That earns him a dropkick into the ladder into Christian and Christian sandwiches him in between a ladder. The Lionsault only hits ladder though and Jericho’s knee is banged up pretty badly. Christian takes FOREVER to climb though, allowing Jericho to shake the ladder away, leaving Christian hanging from the belt. The ensuing ladder spot to the ribs and crash are rather snazzy and they’re both down again.

Jericho puts the ladder over Christian and goes up but gets shoved down, just barely saving himself from a crash out to the floor. That’s not enough for Christian to grab the title, but it is enough for him to turn around on the ladder so Jericho can get the Walls on top. That’s STILL not enough for the win as Christian pops up and shoves the ladder over, with Jericho landing tailbone first on the side in a nasty crash. It’s time for the jumbo ladder so they head up at the same time, only to have Jericho pull him down for another double crash landing. Jericho finally (and I do mean finally) gets the title for the win.

Rating: C+. WAY too long here with far too many false finishes hurting things. I’ve seen this match a few times before and it’s the same feeling every time: get on with it already. Jericho winning wasn’t exactly a shock and it took too long to get there. I can understand why they were given this much time if Tomko vs. Richards needed that long in the previous match, but that doesn’t make it much better. The match certainly isn’t bad, but a trimmed down version would have been a lot better.

Lita answers Kane’s door and says she hopes Shawn Michaels crushes Kane’s throat tonight. Kane comes out and laughs at her ranting, saying this is now a No DQ match. He’s going to destroy Shawn and Lita has to watch from ringside. We even get a rather forced kiss for luck.

Jericho says he feels like a king. Edge comes up to say he’s coming for the title, because Jericho knows he can’t beat him.

We recap Kane vs. Shawn Michaels. Kane put Shawn on the shelf a few months ago and has since managed to win Lita in marriage. Lita then used an open contract to set up this match with the hopes of Kane getting hurt just as badly. The injury is only brought up at the end, almost as an afterthought.

Kane vs. Shawn Michaels

No DQ and Lita has been dragged out with Kane, which I’m sure won’t go badly at all. Shawn wastes no time in going after him and Kane is knocked out to the floor with some right hands. Kane misses a charge into the post to make it even worse but manages to uppercut him out of the air back inside. Shawn knocks him outside and even skins the cat back inside because he still has it.

That’s enough for a dive and Lita talks some trash, allowing Kane to hide behind her like a true heel should. A shot to the face puts Shawn down and Kane slams him onto (not through) the announcers’ table. The second slam puts him through instead as the slow pace begins. Shawn gets a boot up in the corner but walks right into a side slam to take him down again. We hit the neck crank with Lita playing cheerleader, much to Lawler’s continued confusion.

Another slam sets up another neck crank, followed by a clothesline to stay on the neck. Shawn fights up and grabs a DDT for the required breather, setting up the more required forearm into the nipup. Since it’s just a forearm, Kane sends him over the corner and out to the floor for a ram into the steps. That means some blood but Shawn kicks a chair away. Kane kicks Shawn away as well though and it’s right back to the floor.

Shawn posts him this time around and knocks Kane down with a single right hand. The top rope elbow gets two but a big boot cuts off Sweet Chin Music. Kane nails the top rope clothesline but Shawn low blows his way out of a chokeslam attempt. One heck of a chair shot knocks Kane silly, though he still gets up first. Lita pulls the chair out though and that’s enough for Sweet Chin Music to knock Kane out for the pin.

Rating: B-. Not too bad here and while a rather lengthy eighteen minutes, it didn’t feel long like the previous match. Shawn got his revenge in a violent enough match though it was nothing that we haven’t seen them both do better before. That’s likely it for this mini feud, though you can imagine Kane and Lita continuing for a good while.

Post match Kane yells at Lita, as expected.

Shelton Benjamin is coming back. I didn’t know he left but apparently his last televised match was three months ago. Who knew?

HHH reminds us of how great he is and promises to take Orton out. All of Orton’s success is because of him and tonight, HHH is taking it all away. Somehow this takes the better part of four minutes.

Tag Team Titles: Rhyno/Tajiri vs. La Resistance

La Resistance is defending and hopefully Tajiri is healthy tonight. The challengers charge into the ring with Tajiri not being able to keep up with Rhyno for an unintentionally funny moment. Grenier shoulders Tajiri down for an early two as the announcers argue about being prejudiced. Tajiri is right back up with some armdrags into an armbar. Conway comes in and gets the same treatment so it’s off to Rhyno to miss a charge in the corner. You can see the empty seats now and that’s rather telling about the importance of this match.

Rhyno knocks Conway down and brings Tajiri back in for more kicks. Something like a DDT drops Tajiri and the champs start their cheating ways. A backbreaker keeps Tajiri down as this is as thrilling as you would have expected. The announcers give up trying to make the match sound important and talk about Orton vs. HHH instead.

Tajiri gets up a kick in the corner so Rhyno can clean house again. A belly to belly and spinebuster get two each on Grenier with Conway making the save. The hard kicks from Tajiri have the champs in trouble and the Gore gets two with Conway putting the foot on the rope. The referee isn’t happy, allowing a flag shot to Rhyno to retain the titles.

Rating: D-. Again, the match goes longer than it needs to and loses a lot of the crowd (what little they had of it) in the process. This could have been on any given Raw, though it would have been bad on there too. The build was fine enough, but it’s not like this was ever going to be anything more than a match filling time on a card. It’s a thing that happens on every show, but when it feels like most of the matches on the show are just filling time, it become a major problem.

We recap HHH vs. Randy Orton, which is all about Orton winning the title that was supposed to belong to HHH. In other words, it’s been a month of “THIS IS MY COMPANY BECAUSE I’M HHH” and a failed attempt to turn Orton into the top face by just having him go against HHH. The problem is that Orton has spent most of his time running from Evolution in a smart but not inspiring move. There isn’t much of a reason to cheer Orton, which is a different situation than booing HHH. The second part is easily accomplished, but it turns into more of no one getting cheered, which isn’t a good place to be.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Randy Orton

HHH is challenging. Feeling out process to start with Orton calmly taking him into the corner and slapping him in the face. Lawler says HHH isn’t happy because he made Orton. JR: “Easy there Dr. Evil. I think Mr. and Mrs. Orton had something to do with it.” Point to JR on that one. Orton shakes HHH off and slaps him in the face again, followed by the spitting sequel. There’s a backdrop to make it even worse for HHH and we’re already in the chinlock.

Back up and HHH gets sent outside with Orton following, though JR isn’t sure about the plan. They head back inside in a hurry with HHH nailing a chop block. So much for JR’s analytical skills. An attempt at a crotching around the post sees HHH get pulled face first into the post but it doesn’t stop him from going after the leg. Another chop block keeps Orton down and a knee to the knee in the corner makes it even worse. A leglock goes on for a bit, followed by a facebuster to slow things down a bit more.

Some elbows to the leg set up the Figure Four, which makes a lot of sense in this case. HHH grabs a rope because he knows how to be a villain, though the crowd doesn’t seem to agree with the style here. The referee catches him grabbing the rope though and that means a break, followed by a thorough verbal castration. Orton shoves him into the corner with HHH’s head hitting the post to bust him open. Right hands in the corner stay on the head and Orton’s always good dropkick gets two.

A DDT drops HHH for two more but the sleeper is countered with a belly to back. HHH goes up for the most obvious dive into a raised boot I can remember in a long time to give Orton a breather. The high crossbody gets two and Orton throws him outside. Back in and the RKO is countered into a ref bump as I begin to sigh. Now the RKO connects for no cover as Flair runs in to get punched down. Batista gets in a few shots but misses a charge into the post.

HHH cuts Orton down with a low blow and here’s Coach in a referee shirt for the near fall. The lack of a pop on the kickout is as telling of a sign as you’re going to get. Orton punches Coach down and Batista is right back in with a spinebuster with Coach counting two (better reaction this time, but still not great). Orton backdrops out of a Pedigree and RKO’s Coach (all in one movement for a cool sequence). Flair takes one as well and it’s a low blow to break up the Batista Bomb. HHH is back up though and cracks Orton in the head with a chair. The slow motion Pedigree onto the chair makes HHH champion. Again.

Rating: C+. Well of course he did. It was clear that Orton wasn’t working as a champion (for various reasons) but the fans aren’t going to get behind him as the uncrowned champion after he loses the title to another soul crushing HHH win. It feels like another case of HHH showing everyone who runs Raw because he, yes he, is the only person who can fix all of Raw’s problems despite being a big source of their problems.

The match itself was actually pretty good, albeit slow and with a bad ending. As has been the case with almost everything on the show tonight, it felt like the match was being stretched out for the sake of filling in the show, which isn’t a great feeling about the main event. The crowd didn’t care and that was the case with so much of Orton’s time as champion. If they don’t care about him being champion, they’re not going to care about him losing the title.

JR is disgusted to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Just a completely lifeless show here which never got off the ground, despite some matches being pretty good. The problem here was how little there was to care about, which has been a problem for a long time. It’s felt like a matter of time before HHH got the title back since the second Orton won it and now that’s where we are: right back where we were, waiting on the next big name to challenge him. I’m sure Orton will get a few more chances but it’s not like it’s going to matter for the time being. Orton didn’t work as champion, and now we’re right back where we were before Wrestlemania. Lucky us.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/11/20/new-paperback-complete-1997-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Main Event – February 7, 2019: The Most Confusing Thing I’ve Seen WWE Do In Months

IMG Credit: WWE

Main Event
Date: February 7, 2019
Location: Moda Center, Portland, Oregon
Commentators: Byron Saxton, Renee Young, Percy Watson

It’s time to really start the build towards Wrestlemania and I don’t think WWE really knows that. At the moment we have a few matches set up for Elimination Chamber, though none of them are actually from Raw. You would think that would be a problem worth fixing, but WWE certainly doesn’t seem to be in any hurry. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Lacey Evans vs. Natalya

This doesn’t exactly feel like a Main Event match. Natalya shoulders her down to start and gets two off a backslide. A wristlock is pretty easily countered and Evans has to elbow her way out of a hammerlock. The Sharpshooter doesn’t work as Lacey grabs the rope and bails to the floor for a breather.

Natalya catches her with a baseball slide but gets pulled arm first into the post. A headscissors out of the corner gives Lacey a pair of new falls, followed by a standing moonsault for the same. The chinlock is broken without much effort so Natalya clotheslines her head off. Lacey sends her into the corner though and hits a springboard moonsault (geez) for two more (uh…..) but gets pulled down into the Sharpshooter for the tap at 6:08.

Rating: C. The match was entertaining while it lasted and Lacey got to show off a lot, but why was this on Main Event, why was it against Natalya, and why did Lacey lose? You want to showcase someone so you put her on the lowest show around and have her lose? She couldn’t beat Dana Brooke or something? I’m not sure I get this but it’s not like many people saw it in the first place.

From Raw.

We open with Stephanie in the ring because she can’t wait any longer than that. Becky’s entrance cuts her off though, complete with a limp. Stephanie shows us a clip from last week’s showdown with Rousey, with Ronda talking about the bad knee. Back in the arena, Stephanie talks about the knee, with Becky says she’ll fight anyone and the doctors aren’t looking at her.

That’s not cool with Stephanie, who won’t let Becky compete without an examination. Becky doesn’t think Stephanie has ever struggled for a thing because she’s a daddy’s girl who was handed everything but wants to stop Becky from fighting for everything. No one is stopping her from Wrestlemania and that includes Stephanie.

That sounds like a liability to Stephanie because the knee can’t hold the match back. If Becky won’t get evaluated, she’s suspended until further notice. Stephanie does suspend her so Becky knocks her down with one punch. The knee gives out when Becky goes for the Disarm-Her so she beats up agents and goes for Stephanie again. Becky still can’t walk properly so she limps up the ramp.

From Smackdown.

Here’s Charlotte to say she hopes Becky gets better in time but if not, she’s 100% healthy and would love to face Ronda Rousey at Wrestlemania. Cue Becky through the crowd, with Charlotte saying the fan better have a ticket and that she needs to stop stealing Roman Reigns’ entrance. Charlotte mocks Becky’s limp but here’s an angry HHH to cut them both off. After telling Becky to get out and go see the doctor, HHH gets in Charlotte’s face and tells her to get out. Becky says she doesn’t trust any of this but HHH says get cleared by the doctor and go to Wrestlemania.

HHH goes to leave but Becky asks how Stephanie is after she got punched in the face. He doesn’t seem phased because he sees it in Becky’s face: she’s just looking to be a martyr who is trying to find a way out of this whole thing. That’s why she came to Raw just before Survivor Series. She knew it was a suicide mission and then came out blaming the doctor.

HHH continues his reverse psychology by saying Becky is doing it again. Maybe that’s why she won’t go to the doctor: the knee is fine and she’ll be stuck in the match with Rousey and be exposed as the fraud that she is. That earns him a slap to the face and the fans are right back behind her again. Becky leaves through the crowd again.

They’re doing something interesting here by going with the idea of getting inside both women’s heads where they might be scared of losing, which is a lot more interesting than the physical stuff they could do. This is a different way to go about doing things and if they can sell it right, it’s the best way to go.

Clips of Baron Corbin and Drew McIntyre going after Kurt Angle until Braun Strowman made the save.

Clips of the ensuing tag match between the four of them.

No Way Jose vs. Tyler Breeze

Jose is no Bugenhagen. Jose dances out of a wristlock to start and even helps Breeze up. A dropkick lets Jose dance some more and we’re cut to Jose getting two off a flapjack. The Supermodel Kick gives Breeze the same but he can’t get a rollup out of the corner. Breeze’s Unprettier is countered into the pop up right hand to give Jose the pin at 3:19 shown.

Rating: C-. This could have been something with the time as they were both trying, even on a show that means nothing. Now in theory that should get them somewhere, but WWE has shown that they don’t care about these two and aren’t going to anytime soon. Jose’s dancing will keep him around on house shows forever, but I’ve always wondered what he could do with a more serious gimmick.

We see the last few seconds of Jeff Hardy vs. Daniel Bryan and the brawl to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. They gave almost half of this show to the Becky stuff and really, that’s as good of a use of the time as they’re going to have. It’s not like this needs to be anything more than a recap show at this time of year, though I’m still really not sure what to make of that Evans vs. Natalya match. Anyway, the more recaps the better at this point, as it’s not like most of the people who wrestle on this show mean anything right now anyway.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/11/20/new-paperback-complete-1997-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw – September 6, 2004: Run Randy Run

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 6, 2004
Location: Kay Yeager Coliseum, Wichita Falls, Texas
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a long recap of HHH vs. Randy Orton. Like anything else matters.

Opening sequence.

There’s a cage around the ring and Eric Bischoff is inside with a table in front of him. Tonight it’s HHH vs. Eugene inside the cage and Bischoff is looking forward to his nephew being destroyed for good. The cage is raised as we move onto something else: Edge has a torn groin which is keeping him out of action for four to six weeks, meaning the Intercontinental Title is vacant.

Bischoff pulls a blanket off the table to reveal the title but here’s Christian to interrupt. He thinks he’d be a great choice for a new Intercontinental Champion but here’s Jericho to interrupt (must be a Canadian thing). Jericho is ready to fight for the title right now. Bischoff says they’ll do that at Unforgiven instead, which is fine with Jericho. He wants something added though, and the fans should be allowed to have a say.

Bischoff offers a cage match but Christian says that doesn’t work for him because Jericho already injured him in a cage match. Christian’s offer is a no countout match and the fans aren’t thrilled. Christian: “THEY’RE SAYING BOO-YAH!” Jericho gets to the obvious solution: a ladder match, with Bischoff agreeing. The fight is on with Tyson Tomko running in to save Christian from the Walls. Longer than it needed to be, but this is the best choice for a match they could have had.

Batista/Ric Flair/La Resistance vs. Chris Benoit/William Regal/Tajiri/Rhyno

Benoit and Flair get things going, which is about as good of an idea as you can get. The chop off in the corner (you knew that was coming) goes to Benoit, who backdrops Flair for the Flair Flop. Tajiri comes in and kicks Conway but everything breaks down in a hurry. Back from an early break with Flair chopping at Regal in the corner (a trend for him) but Regal reverses and hits a backdrop (the exact same sequence that Benoit did). Rhyno comes in for a running shoulder to Flair in the corner before knocking La Resistance off the apron.

Batista gets in a cheap shot from behind though and Conway takes over. Conway gets two and demands that Rhyno stay down, even throwing in some swearing for an evil bonus. It’s back to Flair and a double clothesline puts both of them down. Conway gets the tag and Benoit gets one as well, even if he had one leg in the ring at the time. What a Canadian cheater. Said cheater throws German suplexes all over the place, allowing Rhyno to come back in fr the Gore to Batista. With everyone else outside, Benoit drops the Swan Dive on Conway, setting up the Sharpshooter for the win.

Rating: C+. This was a fun match with a nice combination of two feuds into one match. Tajiri continues to be barely functioning and I hope he gets ready on Sunday as the title match has been well built over the last few weeks. It’s always nice to see these feuds getting mixed together as you get some fresh matchups, which is a good way to keep things from getting stale.

We recap the Diva Search segment from last week. I didn’t know we could still discuss that.

Smackdown Rebound.

Randy Orton is ready for HHH and this Sunday, he knows he’s going to be coming in as the underdog after facing Kane tonight. We get a HHH caveman impression and Orton recaps their feud so far, including a clip of Orton costing HHH a win over Eugene last week. Now, the three most dominant letters on Raw are now RKO. Orton stumbled through a lot of this promo.

Trish Stratus comes up to see Lita and won’t let her go by. We get the jokes about Lita being, ahem, easy I guess you would say until Lita promises to come after Trish once she’s had the baby. More jokes ensue so Lita says keep it coming. Lita leaves and Trish doesn’t seem impressed. She turns around and runs into Nidia, who yells in Spanish. Trish: “I’m sorry I don’t speak German.” Nidia throws a drink on her instead.

Trish Stratus vs. Nidia

Non-title with Trish still covered in juice. Trish takes her down with an early pull of the hair but Nidia slugs away in the corner as Trish’s shirt is tearing more and more. A quick trip to the floor goes to Trish but Nidia is right back with an elbow to the face. Nidia hammers away in the corner….until her top breaks, allowing Trish to kick her in the head for the pin.

Rating: D. Nidia can’t be much longer for the company at this point but she seemed to be getting better here. She could do some stuff in the ring well enough and is already better than some of the women in the company. With more time, she could have turned into a perfectly competent wrestler. The match was short and not terrible, so that’s quite the step up.

Bischoff is happy that HHH is going to destroy Eugene tonight and has set up a party for later. HHH wants nothing to do with the party because the real celebration will come Sunday after he wins the title back.

HHH vs. Eugene

Inside a cage and HHH has banged up ribs. HHH jumps him behind to start and sends Eugene into the cage. The scared Eugene makes his comeback with the usual right hands and ax handles but HHH cuts off an escape attempt. Eugene’s head is bounced off the cage a few times and we have some blood. HHH’s sleeper is reversed with a ram into the cage and they’re both down.

Eugene goes for the door but HHH makes a save and sends him into the cage over and over as the violence is really cranking up. The Pedigree connects for no cover as HHH goes up instead and drives a knee into Eugene’s arm for what seems like a break. HHH finally walks out for the win.

Rating: D-. HHH did his job last week (all it took was the World Champion interfering) so this was his time to shine again. He got to beat up and injure what used to be a fan favorite (before HHH took away all of Eugene’s momentum) and make it look like some big deal. It was a really boring match too as Eugene’s hope spots weren’t believable and it didn’t feel big even once.

Post match HHH slams the door on Eugene’s arm. I’m not wild on how we got here, but Eugene going away for a month or two is the best thing that could happen to him right now.

Coach is rather pleased with Bischoff getting his way and talks to Edge about being stripped of the title. Edge would rather lose while fighting injured than have it taken away from him. He’s coming back and dealing with Bischoff. So are we already dropping the heel turn?

Kane makes Lita watch a clip of him injuring Shawn Michaels. At least they’re acknowledging that, as it makes the match feel a lot less random. Kane promises to do the same thing to Orton tonight. HHH won’t like that. It’s his job to conquer these young kids.

Unforgiven rundown.

Tyson Tomko vs. Chris Jericho

Christian is out with Tomko but Jericho chases him to the back early on. Tomko uses the distraction to kick Jericho down and we hit a very early chinlock (that really shouldn’t be necessary so soon). Back up and Tomko misses a charge into the post so Jericho takes him down by the knee. Christian comes back with a ladder, allowing Tomko to nail Jericho in the head for two. Another distraction lets Tomko grab a reverse F5 for the pin, which was totally necessary before Sunday’s title match.

Post match Christian hits him with the ladder a few times and poses on top, just like everyone does.

It’s Diva Search time with Stacy Keibler hosting and a covered table in the ring. Before we get to the elimination, it’s time for some arm wrestling. Christy beats Amy, Carmella beats Joy, Christy beats Carmella. As a reward, Christy gets to throw a bucket of chili on all of them. See it’s funny because they’re good looking and in evening gowns but get covered in chili. Amy is eliminated.

Eugene has a separated shoulder and his career may be over.

Randy Orton vs. Kane

Non-title and Kane drags Lita to the ring with him. Orton sends him into the corner to start before heading outside for a chase. That’s enough to catch Kane with a dropkick and some forearms to the chest in the corner (like the ten right hands, but with Kane facing the buckles for a change). Kane kicks him in the face and goes to grab a chair but Lita grabs it as well. That’s enough of a distraction so Orton can get in a low blow for the DQ.

Post match HHH comes out and wants the cage lowered, so here’s Bischoff to say this is continuing as a cage match. We take a break and come back with Kane sending Kane into the cage and pounding away with right hands. A powerslam cuts off Orton’s comeback for two, followed by a hard clothesline for the same. Orton hammers away again so Kane grabs a side slam to stop him again. A top rope crotching sets up the backbreaker to put Kane in trouble for a change and Orton cracks him in the head with the chair. The RKO connects and Orton, after kicking the cage door into HHH’s face, walks out for the win.

Rating: D+. So there’s the second cage match of the night and it wasn’t exactly thrilling. At least Orton won here instead of getting beaten down so HHH could stand over him again. The fans aren’t really cheering for him though and that’s a bad sign as his title reign is just getting started.

Post match Evolution jumps Orton, who fights them off with a chair. Kane gets back up though and Orton bails to end the show. That’s a big reason why Orton isn’t getting cheered. Since winning the title, here’s what he’s done on Raw: beaten down, spit in HHH’s face and ran, helps Eugene win, beats Kane and runs away again. He’s not getting destroyed every week, but for the most part he’s either getting beaten down or running away. The face turn was out of nowhere in the first place and having him run away (logical, but not the most inspiring) so much isn’t helping things.

Overall Rating: D+. The show went by fast and that’s rather impressive given how Unforgiven is a completely one match show. Tonight was almost all about HHH vs. Orton, which doesn’t bode well for Sunday. Adding the ladder match was fine as they had to deal with an injury and that’s all they could do given the circumstances. Other than that though, I’m really struggling to come up with something I’d want to see at Unforgiven. I’m worried about Sunday’s show, but this one wasn’t exactly much to see in the first place.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/11/20/new-paperback-complete-1997-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown – February 5, 2019: What Raw Needs

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: February 5, 2019
Location: Angel of the Winds Arena, Everett, Washington
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

We’re less than two weeks away from Elimination Chamber and unlike Raw, we actually have some stuff set up for the pay per view. That includes the Smackdown World Title match, meaning we have some singles matches between the six competitors to get through for the next two weeks. Those start tonight so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Stephanie McMahon suspending Becky Lynch last night and getting attacked as a result.

Good Brothers vs. Shinsuke Nakamura/Rusev

Fallout from Nakamura and Rusev both getting pinned by R-Truth last week. Lana is at ringside and still in a walking boot. Gallows shoulders Nakamura down to start and it’s quick off to Anderson, who gets kicked in the head. Rusev tags himself in and everything breaks down in a hurry, with Anderson dumping both villains to the floor for a flip dive.

Back from a break with Nakamura hitting the reverse exploder on Anderson but charging into a spinebuster. That’s enough for the hot tag to Gallows for the running splash in the corner, followed by a chokebomb to put Nakamura on the floor. He’s right back in to break up the Magic Killer on Rusev so it’s a Rocket Kick to Nakamura. Rusev is back in for the Machka Kick to finish Anderson at 7:13.

Rating: D+. Just a quick match here as Rusev and Nakamura have both gone from popular faces to the new foreign heel tag team. Why that’s the best possible option isn’t clear, but I’m sure WWE thinks its better than bringing in that Rusev Day shirt money or giving the fans something to cheer for.

Mustafa Ali says what if he beats Randy Orton tonight. Or what if he wins the Elimination Chamber.

Paige shows us a clip from Fighting With My Family.

The Usos are ready to win the Tag Team Titles back. We’ve got a guy with daddy issues in Miz and a guy whose dream was to win the Tag Team Titles in Shane McMahon. Next week, McMizTV is turning into the Uso Penitentiary.

Randy Orton vs. Mustafa Ali

Ali gets a jobber entrance. During his own entrance, Orton says he doesn’t care who is in the Chamber because he doesn’t see names. Orton chops away in the corner to start but Ali tells him to bring it on. That just earns him a clothesline down and a look on his face that makes it seem to be a big mistake. They head outside with Randy dropping him onto the announcers’ table, followed by the snap powerslam. Orton hits the top rope superplex as this is completely one sided so far.

Back with Ali still in trouble and Orton grabbing a chinlock. Ali finally fights up and hits a dropkick to send Orton outside. Another dropkick sends her over the announcers’ table, followed by a running crossbody. Back in and Ali scores with some superkicks into the rolling X Factor for two. Ali loads up the tornado DDT, head fakes Orton as he goes for the RKO counter, and hits the tornado DDT for two in a smart move. The 054 is loaded up but Orton gets to his feet and pulls him off the top, straight into the RKO (in one motion) for the pin at 10:19.

Rating: C. This was looking bad to start but got a lot better down the line. At the same time though, Ali was getting squashed to start and then made a comeback in the end. Ali didn’t win, but at least he got in some offense and had a comeback. Eventually he needs to win a big singles match though or the spark is going to go out.

We look at the replays and come back with Samoa Joe choking Orton out (that felt natural for a change). Ali gets kicked outside for a bonus. Joe goes to leave as Daniel Bryan and Rowan come out for a staredown.

Post break Joe says he’s going to go much further at Elimination Chamber when the night will end with him as champion.

Bryan and Rowan are in the ring for a chat. Daniel gets smart by sucking up to his home state fans, saying they know we need change. Everyone tries to fill their void with one bad food after another and the good people of Washington see that he’s fighting an uphill battle. That’s why he created this new title, which is now a symbol for change. Rowan talks about people who think like them are considered dangerous because of their ideas.

The fans give him the WHAT treatment but Bryan isn’t happy. People try to silence him because he isn’t a corporate champion. He’s the planet’s champion, which is why he’s in the Elimination Chamber, which he shouldn’t be involved in. Bryan knows what it takes to survive the Elimination Chamber and we get a video on the match.

Back in the arena, Bryan says WWE wants to take the title from him and put it back on a leather strap. The people and the planet need him as champion though, and the fans certainly seem to agree. This was fine as Bryan knew he wasn’t going to get booed in his home state and didn’t go hardcore against the fans in a smart move.

Jeff Hardy doesn’t like the idea of Bryan disrespecting the title. AJ Styles comes in and says Jeff’s recent history should keep him from being the guy talking about the title’s legacy. Jeff says the REAL AJ Styles can’t beat the NEW Daniel Bryan. They’ll finish this inside the Chamber.

Carmella/Naomi vs. IIconics vs. Mandy Rose/Sonya Deville

Before the match, Carmella and Naomi promise to be fabulous in winning the titles. The IIconics have worked to get here and the titles would be the icing on the cake. Mandy and Sonya are the real team around here and have been inside the Chamber before. They may now be called Fire and Desire. Mandy bails from Carmella to start so it’s off to Naomi for a sliding lariat to Peyton.

Back from an early break with Carmella in trouble as the IIconics start stomping away in the corner. Mandy comes back in to cut off a crawl over to Naomi and it’s off to an abdominal stretch. That’s broken up as well and it’s back to Naomi, sending Mandy bailing over to the corner. Naomi cleans house and it’s an accidental tag to bring Mandy back in. Peyton has to be beaten up as well, leaving Mandy to hit the sitout Pedigree for the pin on Naomi at 6:15.

Rating: D. Well the Fire and Desire name is dumb, but at least we now have the six teams in the Chamber and the match itself should be entertaining. Mandy beating Naomi advances their own story but it’s not like the blowoff match is going to be in doubt. At least they did something here though and that’s better than I was expecting.

Zelina Vega calls Rey Mysterio a fable and a myth of the past. Last week Andrade destroyed a legend like he needed to do. The legend of Andrade begins with Mysterio’s end.

Video on Martin Luther King Jr. in Birmingham, Alabama for Black History Month.

We recap the opening segment.

Video on Asuka.

Jeff Hardy vs. Daniel Bryan

Back with Bryan working on the arm until Jeff fights back with a dropkick into a legdrop between the legs. The Twist of Fate is broken up with Bryan getting backdropped to the floor instead. There’s the running clothesline from the apron but Bryan is right back with the YES Kicks. The big kick is countered into the Twist of Fate though and the Swanton connects but Rowan pulls Jeff out for the DQ at 10:45.

Rating: C+. This ended earlier than I was expecting but it’s certainly better than having things go really short. Bryan vs. Hardy is certainly a big time match and worthy of a pay per view main event, but there’s only so much you can get out of a ten minute match with a DQ finish.

Post match Bryan grabs the LeBell Lock, drawing in Samoa Joe to post Rowan and choke Bryan out. Cue Orton for the brawl, followed by Mustafa Ali for a suicide dive. Another one to Rowan earns Ali a claw slam onto the announcers’ table. Now it’s AJ Styles, with music, for the slow walk to the ring.

AJ cleans house and points at Bryan for what seems to be the end of the show, even as there are three minutes left. After a few replays, AJ poses and we cut to the back where Bryan rants about doing everything out there because he’s the best. No one is getting this title because he’s going to be WWE Champion forever. It’s what the planet needs!

We cut back to AJ for one more pose as that match must have ended way early.

Overall Rating: C-. It’s not a very good show, but it’s amazing how much better things are with something to build towards. Just having a main event at the pay per view helps a lot, even if the match feels like a stopping point before we get to Wrestlemania. You can’t have both Elimination Chamber and Fastlane as rest stops there though, so having a match like this helps. The rest of the show was hit or miss, but this show was an easy watch and that’s a great distance ahead of where Raw is right now. Oh and where was R-Truth? He wins the US Title and defends it one week but can’t make the show the next?

Results

Shinsuke Nakamura/Rusev b. Good Brothers – Machka Kick to Anderson

Randy Orton b. Mustafa Ali – 054

Fire and Desire b. IIconics and Naomi/Carmella – Lifting sitout Pedigree to Naomi

Jeff Hardy b. Daniel Bryan via DQ when Rowan interfered

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/11/20/new-paperback-complete-1997-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Main Event – January 31, 2019: I Hope You Like It

IMG Credit: WWE

Main Event
Date: January 31, 2019
Location: Talking Stick Resort Arena, Phoenix, Arizona
Commentators: Byron Saxton, Renee Young, Percy Watson

It’s one of the final shows in Phoenix as we deal with the Royal Rumble fallout. That means a lot of recapping from the main shows, even though there isn’t much to talk about. I’m sure Ronda Rousey and Becky Lynch will be prominently featured, which isn’t the worst thing in the world. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Lucha House Party vs. Singh Brothers/Jinder Mahal

Mahal doesn’t even get the Main Event main event spot anymore. Dorado and Mahal start things off with Mahal muscling him up for a somewhat impressive suplex. We hit the required chinlock until Dorado fights up for a standing Lionsault onto Sunil. Everything breaks down and the House Party gets to take turns beating up both Singhs.

As usual, Mahal has to come in and clean up their mess, this time with another chinlock and some stomping in the corner. Sumir comes back in for another chinlock but Metalik fights up and makes the tag to Kalisto. A bunch of kicks to the head have Sunil in trouble and it’s the Salida Del Sol into the shooting star to give Dorado the pin at 5:39.

Rating: D-. This was a nuisance to sit through as there was no way the Singhs and Mahal are going to be a major threat to the Lucha House Party and everyone knew it. Kalisto alone can hang with Mahal and the Singh Brothers are more of a liability than an asset. This felt way longer than it was and that’s hard to do in a match that isn’t even six minutes long.

We look at Becky Lynch winning the Royal Rumble and then challenging Ronda Rousey for Wrestlemania.

From Smackdown.

Here’s Becky to open things up. A lot has been happening in Phoenix and while the first part of the Rumble didn’t go well, she didn’t fold after a loss like Rousey. She’s coming for the title and is very proud of moving from the pre-show of last year’s Wrestlemania to this year’s main event. The fans cut her off with a YOU DESERVE IT chant before Becky says that she saw doubt in Ronnie’s eyes last night and now she’s going to break Rousey’s arm at Wrestlemania. If Rousey doesn’t walk into Wrestlemania believing that, she’s going to be carried out knowing it.

That’s a great line but here’s Charlotte to interrupt. Charlotte is proud of Becky, who somehow won the Royal Rumble without being in it. Maybe Becky learned something from her after all, because Charlotte brought her to the main event. Becky slaps her in the face and leaves, only to have Charlotte chase her down for the attack. Charlotte whips her into the barricade and the bad knee gets banged up again. Agents break it up in a hurry. It’s pretty clear where this is going and that’s fine.

From Smackdown.

Here’s Daniel Bryan, sporting a black eye, to change the WWE climate. He asks who won on Sunday, and after waiting for the BECKY chants to die down, Bryan says the people and their children all won. Bryan is the planet’s champion and now someone has seen the light. That person came out for the greater good on Sunday, so here’s Rowan, carrying a bag over his shoulder.

Bryan praises Rowan as an enlightened man of the Earth and his intellectual peer. However, Bryan calls himself a hypocrite because he carries around this title. A trashcan is brought into the ring as Bryan calls the title a symbol of both excellence and excess. This title was made from a cow who did nothing wrong, and Bryan thinks she should be called Daisy. Bryan thinks Daisy had the ability to feel immense job, but she didn’t get to feel it long enough. The title is thrown into the title because it’s trash. Fans: “GOODBYE DAISY!”

Rowan pulls out the new title, which is rather….wood looking. The new title is made of hemp and carved from an oak, with the fans being more interested in the hemp. This brings out AJ Styles, who asks if Bryan smoked the prototype of that belt…..and here’s Randy Orton to cut them both off. Back from a break with Jeff Hardy in the ring and Mustafa Ali coming out.

Before he can say much, Samoa Joe comes out to say he’s here to put a champion to sleep. Jeff can pretend that he’s at an AA meeting and shut up while Joe is talking. Ali got choked out last week, and Joe wants to know how Wendy is doing. The fight is on as Bryan shouts that he’s going to be champion forever because no one is getting a title shot. HHH pops up on screen to announce Bryan defending the title in an Elimination Chamber match next month to end the show.

B Team vs. Ascension

Viktor shoulders Axel down to start and we take a very abrupt break. Back with Axel getting a hot tag to clean house and getting two off a PerfectPlex. The belly to back suplex into a neckbreaker finishes Viktor at 1:57 shown. Clearly a lot was cut.

From Raw.

Here’s Seth Rollins to open things up to a very strong reaction. After a BURN IT DOWN chant, Seth talks about putting his heart into everything last night and that’s why he won. Now he gets to stand in this ring and say that Seth Freaking Rollins is going to the main event of Wrestlemania. Rollins promised himself that he wasn’t going to do it, but he has to point at the sign man. Now though, Rollins has a choice to make. He can go to Smackdown and challenge his longtime friend Daniel Bryan, or he can go to Suplex City.

With a SETH FREAKING ROLLINS chant going, Seth says it’s going to be a decision he needs to think about. This brings out HHH to say Rollins got to point at the sign and would have been disappointed if he hadn’t. HHH has been there before and it’s why he challenged Rollins to step up a few weeks ago. The Royal Rumble was designed to put thirty athletes in the ring and see who is best. Rollins, who may be crying, did that, but now he needs to know what he’s doing at Wrestlemania. That’s what he can decide tonight, because Daniel Bryan and Brock Lesnar are going to be here tonight. Fans: “SLAY THE BEAST!”

And from later on Raw.

Here are Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman for Rollins’ pick. Heyman calls it easy to make decisions when you only have one option. Rollins’ only choice is to fight Daniel Bryan because all other roads lead to the Beast. This brings out Rollins for the staredown with Lesnar and Rollins starts slugging away, including a Stomp attempt, which is countered into an F5. Brock hits a second through fourth, followed by a fifth on the title. Rollins asks if that’s all Brock has and picks himself up, meaning it’s a sixth F5 to end the show with Rollins not picking anything yet. You know, because it’s such a mystery.

Overall Rating: D+. The original wrestling was nothing to see here (as usual) but we’re getting closer to the biggest show of the year and the Royal Rumble was a major part of that. If we can get things to pick up a bit as we move closer to New York, the show might actually get watchable. As it is now, we have the matches presented to us with the hope that things aren’t too bad. Pretty lame show, with Wrestlemania not looking great at the early stages.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/11/20/new-paperback-complete-1997-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw – August 30, 2004 (2019 Redo): Oh Yes We’re Live

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: August 30, 2004
Location: Cow Palace, San Francisco, California
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Things picked up last week as Randy Orton got a little revenge on HHH but the bigger story saw Kane marrying Lita and destroying Matt Hardy in the process. There’s a good chance that we’re going to see some entertaining followup to that this week, which could go several different ways. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

This one gets a TV-MA rating, making me wonder what’s coming from the Diva Search girls.

In Memory of Marcin Markulski, a graphics designer who passed away recently.

We open with a recap of Orton and HHH from last week. That moment is certainly better for Orton’s push than getting beaten down by Evolution.

Here’s Evolution to get things going. HHH clarifies that they are Evolution and the unit exists because he made it so. Oh yeah it’s one of these promos. He explains saving Ric Flair from mediocrity and let him be the Nature Boy again. Batista has raw power and ability but HHH gave him direction and focus. Then there’s Randy Orton, who was going to be HHH’s pet project. Orton was jerking the curtain at junior high schools but HHH saw what no one saw.

Last week Orton spat in his face, which no one has ever done before or again. Orton needs to come out here right now and face the consequences like a man. Orton’s music hits but instead of the champ, we get three guys carrying what look like pictures under covers. Orton comes out and says HHH can’t call him Randy Orton, because he should be called champ. HHH got something out of Evolution, which means the unveiling of the first picture: the four of them with HHH front and center.

Flair is ready to charge the stage but HHH cuts it off with a rant about how Evolution was always about him. That brings us to the second picture, which is Orton pinning Benoit all by himself at Summerslam. Orton talks about learning so much from HHH, who actually thought he would just hand over the title last week.

That brings us to the third picture, which is Orton spitting in his face last week. Orton wants to fight tonight and takes off his shirt, but he’s bringing a friend of his own to the ring. That would be a sledgehammer from behind one of the pictures so Evolution bails in a hurry. The big swing hits the steps instead of HHH as Evolution runs into the crowd.

This was another not bad segment, but Orton chasing the title and beating HHH would seem better (though getting there would be a bit tricky as it would involve HHH getting the title again). Also, Orton doesn’t exactly come off as a violent, aggressive guy and it feels like a hard turn for him. The idea of pushing him as the next big thing is fine, but they’re going about it in a really questionable way.

Post break, Bischoff throws Orton out of the building. Orton does so, but only after dropping a sledgehammer onto Bischoff’s foot.

We look back at Rock, Tajiri and Rhyno beating up La Resistance and Coach last week. Thankfully the Diva Search stuff was left out.

Tajiri/Rhyno vs. La Resistance/Jonathan Coachman

The villains jump them in the aisle and we get things going in a hurry with Rhyno in trouble. Rhyno fight back but can’t get away from the evil French guys. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Coach adds a slap from the apron. With that out of the way, it’s right back to the chinlock as Tajiri is still down from the pre-match beatdown. Sounds like an injury. Rhyno fights back with a bunch of clotheslines and then a Gore to Coach, only to get caught with Au Revoir for the fast pin.

Rating: D-. So we have a handicap match where Tajiri wasn’t really doing anything in the match (which likely wasn’t his fault)? That’s not exactly the best choice for the opening match on a show, but at least there’s a story here and they’re advancing things as we move towards the title match at Unforgiven.

Video on last week’s wedding.

Kane tells someone (not Lita) to not come out until he tells them to because it’s a surprise.

Eugene, in San Francisco Giants gear, tells William Regal about being excited to go to a Giants game yesterday. Regal wants him to stay in the back for Regal’s match with Batista but gets various baseball terms in response.

William Regal vs. Batista

Regal tries the left hands to start but gets run over as fast as you would expect. A half nelson doesn’t get Batista very far and it’s Regal coming back with the left hands. The running knee to the head staggers Batista, who comes right back with a spinebuster. Batista loads up a chair, allowing Flair to come down and get in a brass knuckles shot. The big clothesline (he really needs a better finisher) ends Regal in a hurry. Just a step above a squash, though Regal had the fire, as always.

Shawn Michaels, Ivory and Linda McMahon are at the Republican National Convention.

Here’s Stacy Keibler to host the Diva Search segment. Do you really have to make her help pick her replacement? The girls come out in their swimsuits and Maria gets eliminated, flipping Carmella off on the way out. You know, that might mean more if we had heard anything else about these women other than “Carmella doesn’t care about wrestling”. You know, like giving them personalities.

As for tonight, everyone has thirty seconds to diss all of their fellow contestants.

Joy goes first and grabs Amy’s chest (Joy: “Not firm enough for me.”), spanks Christy and says Carmella talks a lot of s*** but has a gap in her teeth wide enough to drive a truck through.

Amy says Joy needs to “learn how to eat a pie” and Christy needs to sit down. Carmella on the other hand is a w**** who knows s*** about wrestling because having a d*** in your mouth has nothing to do with wrestling. Stacy takes the mic from her with eight seconds left.

Carmella laughs at Amy for not getting into Playboy. Joy is a bad role model with a fat a** and if Carmella doesn’t win, she hopes Christy does.

Christy says she’s hot fire and will burn you. All Joy can do is shake her chest, Amy has lips like a fish and Carmella is a “c** burping gutter s***”. The censors don’t quite cut the audio in time and you can hear Lawler cracking up. Christy does the splits to wrap it up. Stacy: “I like your flexibility.”

So that’s that, and I think there’s a reason you NEVER hear about this thing again.

Kane tells Lita that she’ll love his surprise. They walk past Trish Stratus and Tyson Tomko, the former of whom says Kane is taking out the trash. Kane gets in Tomko’s face and says that was a good one.

Here are Kane and Lita, the latter of whom is being dragged to the ring. Kane says Lita is her favorite and thanks everyone for their gifts, including an open contract at Unforgiven from Eric Bischoff. Lita gave him the greatest gift of all though: a womb for his child. Since Lita is missing Matt Hardy, Kane has a surprise. Matt’s family has been flown in: four guys, mostly short (one fat) in Matt shirts as the crowd dies again. Kane introduces them as Pat, Nat, Rat and Fat. Yes they thought recreating the Royal Family was a good idea. Kane wastes little time in beating all of them up….and let’s make it a match.

Kane vs. Hardy Boyz

A chokeslam finishes Rat in about ten seconds.

Post match (erg) Kane loads up the fire but Lita stops him because she has a surprise of his own. She’s already signed the open contract for him so he’ll be facing someone she’s chosen at Summerslam: the returning Shawn Michaels. Oh yeah Kane helped injure him. Nice touch and I’m surprised they remembered it.

Ric Flair vs. Chris Benoit

Flair has to undergo a weapons check. That’s really not fair….though the referee does find some knuckles in his knee pad. Benoit starts chopping away and gets in the required backdrop. It’s a little early for the Crossface so they head outside with Benoit chopping up against the barricade. Back in and we get a Flair Flop but he’s smart enough to get in a shot to the knee to take over.

Flair goes with chops and right hands instead of staying on the show, which doesn’t seem to be the smartest move for him. Maybe the lack of knuckles is messing with his head. We hit the half crab to go back to the knee but Benoit is right back up with more chops. The Swan Dive misses so Benoit goes with the rolling German suplex instead. Benoit grabs the Sharpshooter and here’s Batista for the DQ.

Rating: C-. Flair didn’t exactly seem thrilled to be out there and the ending does set something up, even if it’s something we’ve seen in various forms over the last several months. Benoit is still a very valuable person to have in this spot because he’s going to have a good match with almost anyone. The match wasn’t much here though, as it was more of a means to get to the ending than anything else.

It’s time for the Highlight Reel, with Chris Jericho saying that he wants to face Edge for the Intercontinental Title at Unforgiven. This brings out Edge, on crutches. Edge is injured and can’t face Jericho at Unforgiven. It doesn’t matter though as he already beat him at Summerslam. Jericho brings up Edge getting booed out of the building, but Edge says he’ll let these puppets boo him every time because he’ll just keep winning the matches.

As for tonight, Jericho doesn’t buy that Edge is really hurt, thinking that it’s going to be a Canadian jig and then Edge swinging a crutch to the head. Edge says he has the MRI to prove that he’s really hurt and when he gets back, Jericho is up first. That’s it for Edge, but here’s the returning Christian to jump Jericho from behind. The beatdown goes on for a while and includes a chair to the face as Edge isn’t sure what to think.

Trish Stratus/Gail Kim vs. Victoria/Nidia

Trish gets in a cheap shot to a not paying attention Victoria before taking over on Nidia. As Lawler makes jokes about Nidia nearly falling out of her top, Gail puts on something like a Brock Lock with a headscissors at the same time. That’s certainly different and painful looking. Nidia fights up in a hurry and the hot tag brings in Victoria to take over. A headbutt knocks Trish off the apron but the Widow’s Peak is reversed into an Edgecator. Cue the mystery “woman”, who falls down the ramp. As we’re looking there, Victoria gets a rollup for the pin.

Rating: D. Not much time here and I had to think about who was getting the next title shot at Unforgiven because the match has been given that little focus. The division really needs a fresh name or two at this point because they can only do the same matches and feuds so many times. The problem is they passed that point a long time ago.

Smackdown Rebound.

Bischoff is getting his foot iced down and makes Orton vs. Kane for next week.

Unforgiven rundown, including Regal/Benoit vs. Flair/Batista.

HHH vs. Eugene

No DQ. HHH continues a trend tonight of jump starting the match but gets headlocked down. A backslide gives Eugene two as I try to get my head around this being a feature match at Summerslam earlier this month. HHH punches him in the face for a breather and hits a low blow to really take over. A trip to the floor sees Eugene going shoulder first into the steps and then getting punched in the head to make it even worse.

Back in and HHH calls Eugene Orton because Eugene really doesn’t mean anything. The spinebuster puts Eugene down again and the knee drop makes it worse. It’s time for Eugene to get fired up though, meaning the comeback is on. The top rope double ax handle gets two and there’s the Rock Bottom. The Stunner is broken up and HHH slaps on the sleeper. Eugene is done but there’s a Pedigree for a bonus.

There’s no cover though and I think you know where this is going. HHH grabs the sledgehammer but here’s Orton (who not only got back inside but also changed from a suit into gear) to get punched in the face. Orton wins a quick slugout and hits him with the hammer. An RKO is enough to give Eugene the nothing pin. Orton’s music playing shows you how important the win was.

Rating: D. This was another example of a match being there to fill in time until we get to the angle advancement at the end, though it also shows you how far Eugene fell. He could have been any midcarder here, mainly because Eugene just doesn’t matter anymore. His character was completely destroyed with everything that happened to him being one more step down. I know he didn’t have a long future, but that HHH story just wrecked him.

Overall Rating: D-. I didn’t realize how bad this was until I looked back at the whole thing. There were way too many bad segments and even more really bad matches to go with it. I’ve always liked this Orton face turn but watching it back, they really couldn’t do much worse. The only really entertaining part of this show is the trainwreck that the Diva Search has become but that’s not enough to carry everything else.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

Monday Night Raw – August 30, 2004: Total Divas Wish They Were Like This

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/11/20/new-paperback-complete-1997-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Royal Rumble Count-Up – 2016: Everybody In At Once

IMG Credit: WWE

Royal Rumble 2016
Date: January 24, 2016
Location: Amway Center, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 15,170
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton

Pre-Show: Mark Henry/Jack Swagger vs. Dudley Boyz vs. Darren Young/Damien Sandow vs. Ascension

The opening video recaps the only thing that matters here with the tagline of One vs. All. I liked that last year and I still do.

Intercontinental Title: Kevin Owens vs. Dean Ambrose

Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. Usos

Rating: B-. This took some time to get rolling but once everything broke down, it was as good as you would expect from these teams. New Day is clearly the future of the division despite being champs for nearly five months at this point. Catching a top rope splash out of the air is really impressive as the champs continue to show that they have the ring work to back up their charisma.

We look back at Brock Lesnar beating up the League of Nations, followed by Reigns spearing Brock. The Wyatts then beat Reigns and Brock up to make themselves a threat for later tonight.

US Title: Kalisto vs. Alberto Del Rio

Pre-show recap.

Charlotte takes over and grabs a cravate as the fans are WAY behind Becky here. Like moreso than usual. Thankfully Charlotte mocks the chants before doing the headscissor faceplants followed by the Figure Four necklock. Becky gets out and starts firing off dropkicks to take over but a neckbreaker puts Charlotte right back in control.

Some fans went to the Performance Center under the ruse of being part of a focus group. The wound up getting to meet a full tour of the facility and met most of the NXT roster. Note to self: sign up for focus groups.

Rumble By the Numbers video, which is still one of my favorite annual traditions. This is tied in with the stats that Reigns, who is entering at #1, has to overcome to retain the title.

WWE World Title: Royal Rumble

This goes on so long that Stardust comes in at #14. Rusev splashes Reigns through the table as we have NO IDEA what is going on in the ring during all this. While we were gone, Jericho eliminated Kingston which was of course ignored by the announcers. Now for the stupid part: Vince and the Nation JUST LEAVES.

to eliminate Ziggler a few seconds later.

HHH and family celebrate as fireworks take us out.

Ratings Comparison

Mark Henry/Jack Swagger vs. Dudley Boyz vs. Darren Young/Damien Sandow vs. Ascension

Original: D+

Redo: D

Dean Ambrose vs. Kevin Owens

Original: B

Redo: B+

New Day vs. Usos

Original: C+

Redo: B-

Alberto Del Rio vs. Kalisto

Original: C

Redo: C+

Charlotte vs. Becky Lynch:

Original: C-

Redo: B

Royal Rumble

Original: A-

Redo: A-

Overall Rating

Original: A

Redo: A

What was up with me hating the women like that?

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2016/01/24/royal-rumble-2016-this-rumble-game-thing/

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/01/27/kbs-reviews-now-available-in-paperback/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw – August 23, 2004 (2019 Redo): The Wrestlers Take The Week Off

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: August 23, 2004
Location: Arrowhead Pond, Anaheim, California
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s time for a wedding! The big story on this week’s show is the wedding of Kane and Lita, the latter of whom isn’t exactly thrilled with the whole thing. Other than that there’s the whole removal of Randy Orton from Evolution as HHH turned on him. The problem of course is that doesn’t make him a face as much as it makes him a heel who was attacked by a heel, though I don’t think WWE understands that. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a look at Orton being thrown out of Evolution.

Opening sequence.

Here are the Diva Search girls in the swimsuits, likely to pop ratings or something. After Lawler points out the lack of blondes remaining, Tracy is eliminated. That brings us to tonight’s challenge: everyone gets two minutes to tell Coach how great he is. Actually let’s make it five minutes…but here’s Rock to interrupt. Yes they’re using THE ROCK on the Diva Search girls. After a quick threat gets rid of Coach, Rock certainly seems to approve of the girls in front of him. He knows they’re all getting wet…..with perspiration from the hot lights above. Maria nearly died from that line.

Rock talks about Lilian Garcia getting fired from the sperm bank for drinking on the job as the ad libbing is strong with this one. That brings Rock to Carmella, who he knows everyone hates. After a quick yell at a fan for trying to get attention, Rock talks about everyone hating him back in the day. We get an IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT YOU THINK to Carmella and Rock talks about the ice cream segment from a few weeks back. That wasn’t entertaining though because no one wants to see them eat ice cream.

No they want to see the girls eat pie, so let’s have a pie eating contest. For no apparent reason, Tajiri brings out the pies (some of which have already been eaten). Before the eating begins, Rock asks Tajiri about his pie preferences. That would be “poontong”, which Rock wouldn’t mind trying. Just to keep this long, each one gets twenty seconds to eat pie instead of doing it all at once. Joy goes first and eats the cherry while talking about wanting to see Carmella eat crow. She wants a match with Carmella (Heaven help us) “WWE style”.

Rock admits that that one was bad so it’s off to Amy, who pulls her hair back. You can hear Rock biting his lip to avoid the jokes. Amy slowly licks the whipped cream and this one goes down a lot better. Carmella is up next next and uses her fingers to rub the whipped cream all over herself, plus feed Tajiri a bit. Notice the lack of the women actually eating the pie, save for Amy (and that was mainly the cream).

Maria puts some cream on her nose and licks it off, which Rock deems as talent. Christy goes last and sits on the pie instead. With that mess out of the way, Coach brings out La Resistance to interrupt. Is it still an interruption when there’s nothing going on? The beatdown is on until Rhyno runs in to save Rock and Tajiri. You know, because Rock needed help from these three. Coach gets beaten down for the only entertaining part of the thing.

This was horrible and ran over twenty minutes with Rock clearly not caring in the slightest. It was obvious that he wasn’t interested and I can’t blame him. They brought him back for the first time in months for this? The Diva Search is just dumb and some midcard goon could have done this just fine. I believe this is Rock’s last live appearance on Raw until 2011 and they used him as a host for an unfunny, uninteresting segment with women who are competing to be eye candy. Can you blame him for staying in Hollywood?

A whistling Kane, in his ring gear, arrives, carrying his tuxedo over his shoulder.

Long recap of Orton vs. Benoit from last week and the ensuing beatdown from Evolution.

Evolution has a meeting in the back and Flair asks if Orton will really do it. HHH says they’re in charge of Orton’s destiny.

Kane comes in to see Lita and says nothing will stop their perfect wedding. It’s an all white affair to signify the purity of their child so he pulls out a white dress for her. It’s a nice day for a white wedding.

Hokey smoke a match!

Intercontinental Title: Edge vs. Chris Jericho

Edge is defending and bails to the rope to get out of an early hammerlock. Jericho knocks him outside and we take an early break. Heaven forbid we see wrestling on this show. Back with Jericho fighting out of a chinlock and catching Edge with a spinwheel kick. The top rope back elbow gets two but Jericho’s spinning middle rope crossbody is countered into a DDT. A quick rollup gives Edge the pin, though Jericho’s foot was in the ropes so let’s keep this going.

Back from a break with Jericho elbowing him in the face for two and choking in the corner. The running enziguri sets up the running bulldog but the Lionsault (after a running start) misses and Jericho jams his knee. The Edge-O-Matic gets two and Edge spears him off the apron for a crash into the barricade. Back in and Jericho rolls through a high crossbody for two of his own, followed by the Walls to send Edge bailing to the ropes. Back up and Edge crotches him on top….for the DQ. Yeah it’s one of those matches and that doesn’t make it any better.

Rating: C-. This was off by a few steps but even that level for these two is certainly watchable. The finish was stupid though, which is one of the biggest eye roll inducing moments that you can have. I don’t know how much I want to see another match between them but they’re doing enough good at the moment to warrant a rematch.

Post match Edge spears him down and is surprised by the DQ. Fair enough there.

Here’s Evolution for Orton’s ultimatum. HHH doesn’t believe that life is predetermined so there are consequences to every action. Take Randy Orton, who doesn’t want to be a failure like his father and grandfather. Orton was allowed to associate with the best of the best, but then he made a decision to go out there for himself and take the World Title instead of softening Benoit up.

That title is HHH’s but Orton was out here with all the ballyhoo (yes BALLYHOO) and then he faced the consequences. Tonight it’s time for Orton to make another choice: he can hand HHH the World Title and lay down so Evolution can walk away from him. On the other hand, Orton can keep trying this fighting against Evolution thing and face more consequences. This brings out Orton so HHH can tell him to lay down.

A referee comes out and HHH grabs the belt but Orton doesn’t let go. Instead he spits in HHH’s face and runs away before Evolution can kill him. Now if they had done that last week, they could have been there. It feels like they’re trying to do fix things after Orton got destroyed last week, though not without HHH getting to talk about how awesome he is first.

Victoria is yelling at Eric Bischoff about the wedding when HHH storms in and demands retribution. The title match is set for Unforgiven. You can hear the groan from the arena.

William Regal vs. Ric Flair

Eugene is back and in Regal’s corner. This is fallout from Regal knocking Flair cold with the brass knuckles at Summerslam. Regal goes with the cravate to start and Regal can’t do much to get out. Some chops in the corner have Regal in trouble but the uppercuts slow Flair down all over again. Another cravate takes Flair down (how British of Regal) as JR lists off Batista’s statistics. Imagine how JR would be if Batista had played college football too. They head outside with Flair taking a backdrop on the floor and we take a break.

Back with Flair dropping a knee on the head and chopping Regal down. As King suggests that Kane get Lita some edible underwear for the honeymoon, Regal comes back with more strikes to the face and Flair gets slammed off the top. Flair is right back with the Figure Four with an assist from Batista, so Eugene comes in to turn it over. As Eugene beats up Batista (erg), here’s Chris Benoit for the same. Eugene is sent into the post (good) as Flair and Regal pull out brass knuckles. Regal’s punch is faster though and Flair is out for the pin.

Rating: C. This took some time to get going and the ending was fine, assuming you ignore Eugene being able to go toe to toe with Batista like that. There’s only so much you can get out of a match like this but Regal is rolling along with this new push. It’s almost like he’s perfect for an angry guy who likes to fight. Now if only this can go somewhere.

Smackdown Rebound.

The Diva Search girls are in the back for the voting information. Thankfully they don’t waste arena time with this.

Lita is in the wedding dress and breaks a mirror.

The ring is prepared for the wedding, because that always goes so well.

Kane is in a white tuxedo, which oddly works for him.

It’s time for the wedding, starting with some small people as the flower girl and….I guess usher. Kane comes out and kisses the flower girl on the cheek, followed by Lita in a black wedding dress. The minister says someone wants to speak and Lita gets her hopes up but it’s Eric Bischoff, also in a white tuxedo. He has a podium on the stage and reads a passage from the Bible, talking about how the best is yet to come. In a rather weird moment, the fans WHAT the Bible.

The minister says this is clearly a unique relationship and we see a video prepared by Kane, chronicling the entire thing. It’s exactly what you would expect, though this is already starting to drag. Minister: “Uh…..moving on.” Kane has written his own vows and says he originally saw her as a vessel and nothing more. Now she is his property and will do whatever he says. There is no escape and Lita is with him until the day she dies. As the minister looks ready to have a stroke, Lita talks about always loving Matt Hardy and praying every day that Kane is in a horrible accident that kills him instantly. Kane: “That was lovely.”

We get to the “if there is anyone here” line and Lita is almost begging for Matt to come out here. Instead here’s Trish Stratus in white lingerie (….well that works) to be Lita’s maid of honor. She knew Lita couldn’t wear white because she knew Lita couldn’t. Trish knows Lita can be happy if she opens her heart, just like she opened her legs. The fight is on with Kane breaking it up and it’s time to get on with things.

Lita swallows hard and says I do. It’s Kane’s turn but Matt Hardy runs in through the crowd and the fight is on. Kane moves quite well for someone in a white tuxedo. Matt gets the better of it but a wall of fire prevents he and Lita from leaving. That’s enough for Kane to chokeslam Matt off the stage and the minister marries them. Kane kisses her and carries Lita off to end the show.

WAY too long here with the whole thing dragging. Save for the snappy fashion sense (Kane and Trish in particular), this could have had a good ten minutes trimmed off. Oh and that’s the last time you’ll see Matt for nearly a year as he had a really bad knee and was released while recovering.

Overall Rating: D. Did the wrestlers just take a week off here? There was the WAY too long Rock/Diva Search segment, the HHH/Orton segment (better, but still long), the eternally long wedding and two matches, neither of which were very good. That’s your two hours of Raw this week and egads it was a rough one to watch. I don’t know if this was them trying something new or just not thinking it out, but it really didn’t work, to put it mildly. Hopefully next week is better because this was a big miss.

I’ve actually done this one before so here’s the original if you’re interested:

Monday Night Raw – August 23, 2004: Unlike Anything I’ve Ever Seen

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/11/20/new-paperback-complete-1997-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Royal Rumble Count-Up – 2009: Here Comes The Predator

IMG Credit: WWE

Royal Rumble 2009
Date: January 25, 2009
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 16,685
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross, Todd Grisham, Matt Striker, Tazz

ECW Title: Jack Swagger vs. Matt Hardy

Hardy walks into a belly to belly suplex from Jack for two though and both guys are down. A DDT on the arm gets two for the champion but Matt blocks a belly to back superplex. Matt hits a decent looking moonsault for two and the fans are getting into these kickouts. The Twist is countered and Jack sends Matt shoulder and possibly head first into the post. The Swagger Bomb retains the title.

Rating: B-. Better match than I was expecting here with both guys looking good out there. Matt was getting close to being something decent as a singles guy and this was his way off ECW and onto Smackdown. Swagger would go on to win a world title and shock the world in the process before falling through the floor soon after. Solid opener here.

Orton arrives and gets glared at.

Melina is challenging and Beth has Santino with her here. Beth shoves her around to start before easily breaking out of a headlock. A LOUD Santino chant starts up as Beth throws Melina around. Melina comes back with a shot to the head but gets shoved down immediately again. The challenger hooks an armbar of all things but Beth easily stands up while Melina stands on her shoulder.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Jeff Hardy

We head back inside again with Edge in full control including a spear in the corner. Jeff grabs a quick two off a sunset flip but gets clotheslined right back down. Off to a body vice by Edge to slow things down a bit. Jeff fights up and hits a mule kick before going up top, only to jump into a dropkick from Edge for two. Now Edge goes to get two chairs but Jeff spears him down off the apron before it can be brought in.

Rumble by the numbers which is roughly the same as the previous year.

Royal Rumble

Punk pulls Regal out and brags about it without getting thrown out. R-Truth is #24 and nothing happens. Rob Van Dam makes a one night only return at #25 after not having been seen in the WWE in about a year and a half. That at least wakes the crowd up but there are too many people in there for his style of stuff to work. He loads up the Five Star but Truth is too close so he has to bail out in mid air.

Jericho tries to put a sleeper on Show but it gets about as far as you would expect. Taker throws Punk to the apron as Show dumps Truth. Punk fires off some kicks and hangs on three times so Show finally knocks him out cold and out to the floor. Show knocks out Knox and Mysterio as Horny gets in for no apparent reason. Finlay tries to save him and gets dumped for his efforts at good parenting.

Ratings Comparison

Jack Swagger vs. Matt Hardy

Original: B

Redo: B-

Melina vs. Beth Phoenix

Original: C-

Redo: D+

John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Original: C

Redo: C-

Edge vs. Jeff Hardy

Original: B-

Redo: B

Royal Rumble

Original: D

Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: B+

Redo: C-

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/28/royal-rumble-count-up-2009-the-voices-tell-me-no-one-but-orton-has-a-chance/

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/11/20/new-paperback-complete-1997-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6