Elimination Chamber 2024: Mami’s World

Elimination Chamber 2024
Date: February 24, 2024
Location: Optus Stadium, Perth, Western Australia, Australia
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves

We’re going international with this show and that means we are likely in for a rather hot crowd. As you can probably guess, this show is going to be focused on the namesake matches, which will help get us to Wrestlemania. Other than that, we have Seth Rollins and Cody Rhodes on the Grayson Waller Effect, which should be interesting. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Women’s Tag Team Titles: Kabuki Warriors vs. Indi Hartwell/Candice LeRae

Australia’s Hartwell and LeRae are challenging and Hartwell gets quite the reaction (and mini bio from Cole). Hartwell and Sane start things off with the fans already chanting for Indi. Sane gets powered into the corner as they’re starting fairly slowly. A headlock doesn’t want for Sane as Hartwell shoves her off and kicks her down. LeRae comes in and gets two off a splash before being sent into Asuka’s boots in the corner. LeRae unloads on Asuka in the corner and hits her step up backsplash for two.

A sliding knee cuts LeRae off though and Sane’s top rope forearm has her down again. Hartwell gets knocked off the apron but LeRae manages to kick Asuka away and get over to Hartwell for the needed tag. Hartwell gets to clean house, including something of a body block to send Asuka outside. LeRae is back in with a Lionsault for two on Asuka with Sane making the save. Asuka suplexes Hartwell, who grabs a rollup for two (to a big reaction) before being knocked outside. That leaves LeRae to get knocked off the top and caught in a reverse DDT/Insane Elbow combination for the pin to retain at 8:41.

Rating: C. I don’t think there was that much drama over the idea of a title change, but this was about getting an Australian wrestler out there to start the show. That went rather well, with Hartwell getting the fans’ attention and firing them up even more than before. The Warriors never quite felt in jeopardy here, but that wasn’t exactly the point of the match. Nice enough opener and they didn’t do anything ridiculous.

Post match Hartwell gets the big ovation.

Several people arrived earlier.

Opening video, mainly focusing on Rhea Ripley.

More people arrived.

Women’s Elimination Chamber

The winner gets Rhea Ripley or Nia Jax at Wrestlemania. There is no word on how long the intervals are other than them being “regularly scheduled”. Naomi is in at #1 and Becky Lynch is in at #2 and they take their time to start. They trade shoulders with neither being able to get very far and then trade rollups for two each. That means a standoff before they slap hands and catch each others’ kicks. Lynch tries for the Disarm-Her but gets rolled into a failed Starstruck attempt instead.

They head outside, where Naomi sends her face first into the cage and then takes it back inside. Stereo crossbodies leave both of them down and it’s Tiffany Stratton (quite the crowd favorite, which even she acknowledges) in at #3. The handspring elbows have Naomi in trouble in the corner but Becky goes for the Disarm-Her. That’s broken up by Naomi’s high crossbody for a double near fall and everyone is down.

Stratton tries a double fireman’s carry but can’t keep them up, instead taking Lynch down on her own. The Prettiest Moonsault Ever is broken up so Naomi hits the split legged moonsault on Lynch but Stratton steals the cover for two. With everyone down, Liv Morgan is in at #4 and she sends Stratton into the sides of the pods over and over.

Morgan starts firing off a bunch of elbows in the corner, followed by a middle rope Codebreaker for two on Lynch. Naomi and Stratton go outside with Naomi sending her into the cage wall. Lynch joins them and Bexploders Stratton into the wall. The Disarm-Her, with Stratton’s arm going through the cage, has Stratton in trouble but the fall doesn’t count out there. Back in and Naomi climbs a pod and Blockbusters Morgan off the top, only to have Stratton roll Naomi up for the pin at 13:27.

Raquel Rodriguez is in at #5 and starts throwing people around, including a fall away slam over the top to Lynch and swinging Stratton into the cage. That leaves Rodriguez vs. Morgan, with the middle rope Codebreaker being blocked. Lynch is back in with a double DDT to put Rodriguez down but Stratton gets in a shot of her own to leave everyone on the mat for a bit. Bianca Belair is in at #6 and puts Stratton back in a pod before cleaning house.

Stratton comes back in and gets spinebustered for her efforts. That gives us the Rodriguez vs. Belair showdown with Belair’s crossbody being pulled out of the air. Rodriguez slips out of the KOD attempt but misses a charge and gets sent outside. Belair is pulled out with her and manages to reverse a slingshot suplex into a tornado DDT onto the cage floor. Belair fireman’s carries Rodriguez but gets sent outside again by Stratton.

Rodriguez is laid over the middle rope but Morgan comes flying off the top with a seated senton. Lynch and Morgan are both on top of a pod with Stratton shoving her off and onto Rodriguez. Stratton says it’s Tiffy Time and hits a crazy Swanton from off the pod and onto the pile to leave everyone but Morgan down again. That means Stratton gets to face Morgan on her own but the Prettiest Moonsault Ever is broken up. Instead, Morgan hits a middle rope Downward Spiral to get rid of Stratton (the fans do not approve) at 22:55 overall.

Rodriguez is back up and gets to clean some house, including a chokeslam to Morgan. The middle rope corkscrew splash crushes Morgan but Lynch pulls Rodriguez into the Disarm-Her. That’s broken up as well so Rodriguez powerbombs Morgan and Lynch at the same time. Belair is right back in with the KOD (and she barely got it on) to eliminate Rodriguez at 25:05 overall.

That leaves us with three and Belair takes over on both of them rather quickly. A double handspring moonsault hits Morgan and Lynch for two before they all head outside. Morgan gets swung into the cage but she’s back with a kick to send Belair face first into a pod. Lynch is back up but Belair catches her in the corner to rain down right hands.

Morgan powerbombs Belair down and then superplexes Lynch, who is still able to get her knees up to block Belair’s 450. Back up and Morgan counters the KOD with a knee to Belair’s face, followed by a Codebreaker to Lynch. Another KO doesn’t work on Lynch so Morgan rolls Belair up for the pin at 32:07 overall, only for the Manhandle Slam to pin Morgan and send Lynch to Wrestlemania at 32:15.

Rating: B. This took some time to get going but they didn’t just have Lynch run through everyone to get to the title match. In addition to Lynch, you had the good three way final, plus Stratton looking like a star. Stratton very well may have gotten the most out of this whole thing, as she had the fans behind her and more than lived up to the hype. The match might have gone a bit longer than it needed to, but this was Lynch’s coronation and it worked well.

Tag Team Titles: Judgment Day vs. New Catch Republic

The Republic (Graves: “Sounds like a place where my wife buys her clothes.”) is challenging and Dominik Mysterio is here with the champs. Bate and Dunne jump the champs before the bell, allowing Bate to hit a running shooting star press for an early two on Balor. Dunne comes in for a hard clothesline before cranking on Balor’s fingers. Bate adds a top rope flipping splash, only to have Priest come in and kick away.

Balor comes back in for a chinlock until Bate fights up but Dominik cuts that off. A backbreaker/legdrop combination hits Bate, but Balor manages to get over to Dunne anyway. House is quickly cleaned, including a middle rope moonsault to drop the champs on the floor. A clothesline/German suplex combination gets two on Balor but Bate can’t airplane spin Priest. Everything breaks down and now the spin (a long one at that) has Priest in trouble.

Dominik offers a distraction and that’s enough for an ejection. He won’t leave so Balor drops him, leaving Balor to Sling Blade Dunne. That doesn’t slow Dunne down that much though as he snaps Balor’s fingers, setting up the double Tyler Driver 97 for two, with Priest making the save. Dunne dives onto Priest, who plants him onto the apron. Back in and Balor hits 1916 for two on Bate but the Razor’s Edge is countered.

Bate rolls Priest up and it’s back to Dunne for some kicks to Priest’s head. Bop and Bang sets up the double Birminghammer for two on Priest, followed by some clubberin for good measure. Balor saves Priest from being slammed off the top and it’s a double chokeslam off the middle rope. The Coup de Grace to Dunne retains the titles at 17:26.

Rating: B-. The action was good but this went on longer than it needed to. I was waiting for this one to end more than once and then it just kept going longer and longer. A title change wasn’t completely out of the question here, but they needed to cut off about four minutes here to really make this work. Hopefully Bate and Dunne continue teaming, as the division could use them and they have done well in their time together.

It’s time for the Grayson Waller Effect, but first we have Austin Theory to insult Australian food. Waller comes out to not the strongest reaction but the fans do like him drinking beer out of shoes with a UFC fighter. After Waller plays up to the crowd a bit, he brings out his first guest in Seth Rollins. Then he brings out Cody Rhodes, with the entrances taking their sweet time.

With both of the guests sitting down, Waller pauses to acknowledge Roman Reigns. Waller gets right to the point: who does Rollins want to fight at Wrestlemania? Rollins instead offers a scoop: he is days away from being medically cleared to compete. Rollins talks about how he’s going to win and hits his catchphrases. Waller: “Cool story bro.” We move over to Cody, with Waller asking if Cody is selfish for not giving us Rock vs. Reigns at Wrestlemania.

Cody reiterates that he is a fan of the Rock before listing off the things that Rock would say if he was here. We confirm that there are in fact some Cody Crybabies in the crowd and then questions if the Rock is still the People’s Champion. Cody thinks that if Rollins made an announcement, he should too…and he challenges Rock to a singles match.

Rollins says he’ll be there with Cody when the match happens but Theory cuts them both off with an IT DOESN’T MATTER what you think to Cody. Theory loads up If Ya Smell but Rollins sends him through the set. Cody and Rollins drop the villains (Rollins even hits the Stomp) to wrap it up. This was really long to not say much, but Cody challenging Rock and Seth being physical again worked.

Video on the Men’s Elimination Chamber.

Men’s Elimination Chamber

For the shot against Seth Rollins at Wrestlemania, Logan Paul’s US Title isn’t on the line, and it’s Drew McIntyre in at #1 and LA Knight in at #2. McIntyre chops him into the corner and Knight is already staggering around. A running neckbreaker gets Knight out of trouble but McIntyre knocks him right back into the corner. The fans chant for CM Punk so McIntyre loads up a GTS, only to get reversed into a sunset flip backbreaker. Knight takes him outside for some rams into the pod and yes the fans are right there with the YEAH’s.

Audio goes out, presumably for some not nice crowd chants, but comes back for Knight to send McIntyre face first into another pod. Kevin Owens is in (less than five minutes, as opposed to more than six for the first pod in the women’s match) and hits a chokeslam, which is apparently at the request of a Make-A-Wish kid (that’s great). McIntyre fights up and puts Owens on the top and it goes as badly as it always does for anyone not named Owens.

Knight comes back up but gets slammed down, with Owens Codebreakering McIntyre and landing on Knight at the same time. Owens gets in front of Orton and mocks his post before kicking at Paul’s pod. Knight and Owens get together to try a double superplex on McIntyre, who high crossbodies both of them down.

Bobby Lashley is in at #4 and goes right after McIntyre, including ramming him into the cage. A suplex on the cage floor keeps McIntyre in trouble and Lashley’s spinebuster gets two. Owens is back up to knock Lashley down for two more and it’s Randy Orton in at #5 to drop Owens with the powerslam. The hanging DDT onto the cage floor knocks Owens silly but Orton can’t follow up. Lashley is back up with a spear to Knight, who rolls out to the cage floor. Knight drops McIntyre onto the pod as well but Orton suplexes Knight to leave both of them down.

Logan Paul is in at #6 (complete with messages he wrote onto his pod) but Owens jumps him to start and they are both shut into the pod to keep up the beating. They get out with Owens crotching Paul against a pod wall. Owens blasts Paul again but Lashley sends Owens through a pod. One heck of a spear drives Paul through another pod, only for Lashley to walk into McIntyre’s Claymore. Back in and another Claymore gives McIntyre the pin on Lashley at 21:28.

Knight stomps McIntyre down in the corner and then runs the corner to superplex McIntyre. BFT hits Orton and there’s another to McIntyre….but AJ Styles runs in through the open Chamber door to unload on Knight with a chair. The Styles Clash onto the chair lets McIntyre pin Knight at 24:25. Owens’ brainbuster onto the knee drops Paul and some cannonballs hit McIntyre and Orton.

The Swanton gives Owens two on Orton but McIntyre blocks another one with some raised knees. The Claymore is countered into a pop up powerbomb and there’s the Stunner to Paul. Orton is back up and gets superkicked, only to reverse the Stunner into the RKO to get rid of Owens at 28:00.

With Paul down, McIntyre and Orton have their big staredown but Orton wins a slugout. Paul sends Orton into the buckle, only to get crotched on top. McIntyre neckbreakers Orton but gets high crossbodied by Paul to leave everyone down. Paul is up first and whips out some brass knuckles but spends so long looking at them that Orton grabs the RKO for the elimination at 32:38.

We’re down to Orton vs. McIntyre, with the Futureshock and RKO both being blocked. The hanging DDT puts McIntyre down but he’s back with a spinebuster to cut off the RKO attempt. The Claymore is loaded up but Orton collapses before anything can launch. Orton is back up with an RKO….and here is Paul to knock him out with the brass knuckles. The mostly out cold McIntyre gets the pin at 36:56.

Rating: B. The star power helped here and made a rather long match feel important throughout. McIntyre felt like the right choice from the beginning but Orton winning wouldn’t have been crazy and Lashley is always worth a look. In addition to McIntyre vs. Rollins, this should set up Orton vs. Paul and Knight vs. Styles at Wrestlemania. That’s nice to see in one match.

Here is HHH to announce the attendance: 52,590.

We recap Rhea Ripley vs. Nia Jax. Ripley is the unstoppable home country champion and Jax is a monster. That’s about all you need to know here.

Raw Women’s Title: Nia Jax vs. Rhea Ripley

Ripley is defending and yes she gets the incredible reaction that you knew she was going to receive. Jax shoves her back to start so Ripley strikes away, including a running dropkick into the corner. Another shove sends Ripley into the corner and we go old school with a Stinkface. A legdrop to the back has Ripley in trouble but she kicks up from the mat for some creative offense.

Jax goes with the Stretch Muffler into a half crab, followed by a torture rack to stay on the ribs/back. Ripley slips out and grabs a guillotine choke, which is quickly broken up. A pair of powerbombs drop Ripley and Jax drops a leg to the back of the head for two. The Annihilator is broken up though and Ripley’s missile dropkick gets two. Jax grabs a Samoan drop but Ripley is back with a basement dropkick.

Ripley goes up and is brought back down with a super Samoan drop for another near fall. Jax gets knocked off the ropes this time and that means an Eddie dance frog splash to give Ripley two more. Riptide is broken up so let’s load up the announcers’ tables instead. Jax Samoan drops her onto said table and then adds a splash through it because that’s the kind of thing Jax does. Back in and the Annihilator gets two, leaving Jax shocked. Another Annihilator is broken up and a superplex brings Jax back own. A kick to the head sets up Riptide to retain the title at 14:38.

Rating: C. The ending was great, but there is only so much I can get out of offense built around the idea of Jax being really big. It was a bunch of Samoan drops and Annihilator attempts, which don’t quite make for the most thrilling match. If nothing else, how awesome would it have been if Ripley had kicked out of the Annihilator at two, Hulked up, and beat the fire out of Jax to win? That might not let Jax look strong though and we can’t have that, but hopefully this gets rid of Jax for the time being.

The long celebration and highlight package wrap us up.

Overall Rating: B. This was a weird one as the wrestling was mostly good to very good, but there was little in the way of drama. Lynch and McIntyre felt like pretty strong candidates to win the Chambers and Jax wasn’t beating Ripley if WWE wanted to get out of Australia alive. That didn’t leave much in the way of wondering who was winning, though that isn’t a terrible thing. It was a strong show that was missing that big moment to get it to the next level, though Ripley did everything she could to make it happen in the main event.

Results
Kabuki Warriors b. Indi Hartwell/Candice LeRae – Reverse DDT/Insane Elbow combination to LeRae
Becky Lynch won the Women’s Elimination Chamber last eliminating Liv Morgan
Judgment Day b. New Catch Republic – Coup de Grace to Dunne
Drew McIntyre won the Men’s Elimination Chamber last eliminating Randy Orton
Rhea Ripley b. Nia Jax – Riptide

 

 

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Smackdown – February 9, 2024: And Then Everything Changed (For The Better)

Smackdown
Date: February 9, 2024
Location: Spectrum Center, Charlotte, North Carolina
Commentators: Wade Barrett, Corey Graves

As has been the case multiple times this year, and then everything changed. This time it was at the Wrestlemania media event, as Cody Rhodes changed his mind and decided that he would he challenging Roman Reigns instead. This sounds simple enough, but there was a huge X factor in the Rock, who got into it with Rhodes and has joined forces with Reigns in a “my family is better than your family” feud. I think we might have some fallout tonight. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a long recap of the press event.

Here is HHH for a chat, with Nick Aldis and Adam Pearce waiting in the ring. HHH talks about how we are on the Road To Wrestlemania but things took a hard turn yesterday. For now though, he needs to set the record straight. There are some people who don’t know their role but tried to assert their authority when they don’t have any. HHH doesn’t care where you sit because one thing is abundantly clear: the answers come one place and one place only and you are looking at him.

The main event of Wrestlemania XL will be Roman Reigns defending against Cody Rhodes. If there are some people who don’t like that, it doesn’t matter what you think. Aldis says it’s time to shift focus to Seth Rollins and the World Heavyweight Championship. The new #1 contender will be determined in the Elimination Chamber and qualifying matches begin tonight.

We see the twelve wrestlers who will be fighting for those shows: Randy Orton, Bronson Reed, Kevin Owens, Logan Paul, AJ Styles, Miz, Bobby Lashley, Ivar, Drew McIntyre, Sami Zayn, Dominik Mysterio and LA Knight (seemingly in no particular order). We’ll start right now with this qualifying match.

Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match: Drew McIntyre vs. AJ Styles

Before the match, McIntyre comes to the ring and mocks CM Punk’s injury (complete with the shirt) and no, Punk isn’t making a dime off of it! Hold on though as LA Knight joins commentary as McIntyre strikes away at Styles to start. A backbreaker sets up a rather harsh armbar to keep Styles down. They go outside with McIntyre sending him hard into the timekeeper’s area as we take a break.

Back with Styles fighting back and getting in his half of a double knockdown. McIntyre takes him up in the corner but Styles pulls him out with a sitout powerbomb for a near fall. A quick Futureshock plants Styles but he cuts the Claymore off. McIntyre cuts off the Phenomenal Forearm just as quickly though and they head outside. Styles almost gets into it with Knight, allowing McIntyre to shove Styles into Knight, who isn’t pleased. Knight gets on the apron to go after Styles, whose rollup to McIntyre is missed. The angry Styles decks Knight but walks into the Claymore for the pin at 11:15.

Rating: B-. One thing I like about qualifying matches is a situation where it seems that one person is the obvious winner but the other one isn’t a total non-factor. Styles getting into the Chamber wouldn’t have been an insane thought and that helps a lot. Odds are we’ll be seeing Styles again when Knight is trying to qualify and that makes things more interesting.

Sami Zayn is facing Randy Orton in his qualifying match and if that is his path to the title, so be it.

A NASCAR champion was here earlier.

Pretty Deadly is not happy with Wilson’s hand being hurt by Pete “Do-nay” and swear revenge.

We look back at Bayley leaving Damage CTRL and setting up her Wrestlemania title match.

Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match: Bianca Belair vs. Michin

Belair powers her around to start but Michin is back with some kicks to the head. A running kick to the chest gets two on Belair, who bails out to the floor for a breather. We take an early break and come back with Belair slugging away. Michin kicks her in the face to put Belair back down, only to miss a Cannonball. The handspring moonsault is almost countered with raised knees but Belair sticks the landing. A spinebuster gives Belair two but Michin is able to catch her on top with a superplex. Eat Defeat connects to send Belair outside but a Styles clash takes too long. Belair hits a KOD for the pin at 7:13.

Rating: C+. This gets some bonus points for Michin getting in a good bit of offense. Belair winning isn’t exactly a surprise but I would much rather they have a competitive match instead of letting Belair run her over. Michin is someone who doesn’t seem likely to become a major star, but she can be a good middle of the road hand for matches like this one.

Bron Breakker comes in to see HHH and isn’t sure if he should sign with Raw or Smackdown. Before HHH can say anything, Paul Heyman comes in to interrupt. Breakker leaves and Heyman says that is a heck of a talent from a wacky family. A serious HHH asks what Heyman wants so Heyman says he’ll be back next week….with Roman Reigns. And the Rock. HHH says he’s looking forward to it.

Here is Bayley for a chat. She seems relieved that the fans are happy to see her and talks about how much Damage CTRL meant to her. Bayley put everything into Damage CTRL and then they kept mocking her behind her back. That hurt her…and here is Dakota Kai to interrupt. Kai says she didn’t know anything about what the rest of the team was doing but Bayley doesn’t buy it.

Bayley says Kai was always there with the rest of them but Kai says she always believed in the team. Kai misses the original trio because she wouldn’t be here if not for Bayley. It looked like Bayley’s plan was working and she thought it was going well but then everything fell apart.

Bayley asks where she stands but here are Iyo Sky and the Kabuki Warriors to interrupt. The still injured Kai bails….and then comes back in with a chair. Bayley sees her coming but Kai swings at Sky and the Warriors instead. With the three of them gone, Kai drops the chair and Bayley is confused. Bayley and Kai stare at each other but nothing happens. Points for adding some intrigue here, because Bayley facing Damage CTRL 4-1 wasn’t exactly a realistic fight.

Randy Orton talks about how he was on the shelf for over a year and has learned to be patient. Inside the Chamber, the only constant is the RKO.

Bobby Lashley and company are ready for Wrestlemania season, including his Elimination Chamber qualifying match on Raw against Bronson Reed.

Pete Dunne/Tyler Bate vs. DIY

The winners get a Tag Team Title shot at Elimination Chamber. Gargano and Bate start things off with a pinfall reversal sequence, giving us a standoff. Dunne and Ciampa come in and go to the floor, where Dunne misses a moonsault. Ciampa knocks him onto the announcers’ table with the other two coming outside as well. Gargano knocks Bate down and we get some DIY clapping to send us to a break.

Back with everything breaking down and all four knocking each other down. Bate is up with a giant swing/airplane spin at the same time but Gargano breaks up the double Tyler Driver 97. Ciampa knees Bate in the face and hits Project Ciampa for two. Bate is back up to slug away at Ciampa, who kicks him in the face. The solo Tyler Driver 97 is blocked and Gargano superkicks Bate into the corner. That lets Dunne come back in for the Bitter End and the pin at 8:25.

Rating: B-. Dunne and Bate getting the shot is interesting as it sets up a completely fresh match. It’s also a nice sign for the future of the tag division as it shows what happens when you take two talented people with nothing going on and give them something to do. DIY will be fine, but at some point they need to win something that matters on the main roster.

Dominik Mysterio is ready to win the Elimination Chamber so he and Rhea Ripley can have matching titles. He doesn’t care who he faces, but here is Kevin Owens to promise Dominik a beating next week. Owens will even dedicate it to Rey Mysterio. Cue R-Truth, who thinks Owens is the Miz. Truth: “Don’t let Nick catch you!” Owens: “Nick Mysterio?” Truth: “Nick Aldis!” Fans: “WE WANT TRUTH!”

Logan Paul comes in to see the General Managers and has no idea why he’s in an Elimination Chamber qualifying match. Those matches are for unqualified people and that’s not true for him. Next week he’s fighting in UTAH? IN UTAH??? He’ll do it, just because he’s going to Wrestlemania and leaving as a double champion. Nick Aldis makes Paul vs. Miz in a qualifying match next week. Paul is not pleased. No mention of Paul’s next US Title challenger being announced as was advertised.

Here’s what’s coming on various shows.

Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match: Randy Orton vs. Sami Zayn

Zayn starts fast by sending him outside and teases the dive, only to flip back into the middle when Orton moves. Back in and Orton hammers away before heading outside again. This time Zayn drops him onto the announcers’ table as we take a break. Back with Orton hitting the top rope superplex, setting up the snap powerslam to put Zayn down again.

The hanging DDT is cut off with a backdrop though and Zayn hits the big suicide dive. Orton is fine enough to drop Zayn onto the announcers’ table, meaning the second hanging DDT attempt can connect. Zayn grabs a quick Blue Thunder Bomb for two but Orton is right back with the RKO for the pin at 10:47.

Rating: B-. I don’t think there’s any surprise that these two had a good match but again, it was nice to have a feeling that either could win. Zayn has seemingly been pushed as needing to win the World Title so giving him a chance to get into a big #1 contenders match wasn’t out of the question. Orton is the right choice to go forward though, as he’s still feeling like one of the biggest stars around at the moment.

Post match Drew McIntyre comes out for a staredown with Orton to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. The wrestling was pretty run of the mill but what mattered here was the atmosphere. This show had a bunch of stuff that felt big as they have turned on Wrestlemania Mode. That is a feeling you can’t shake and it was in full force this week. The matches had consequences and it was a show where things were happening. In a word, it felt focused and that is a great thing to see at the right time.

Results
Drew McIntyre b. AJ Styles – Claymore
Bianca Belair b. Michin – KOD
Tyler Bate/Pete Dunne b. DIY – Bitter End to Gargano
Randy Orton b. Sami Zayn – RKO

 

 

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Smackdown – July 11, 2008: The Not So Wedding Show

Smackdown
Date: July 11, 2008
Location: River Center, Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Attendance: 5,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Mick Foley

It’s been a minute since I’ve done one of these and I’m barely remembering what we’re dealing with at the moment. HHH is ready to defend the Smackdown World Title against Edge at the Great American Bash, though Edge and Vickie Guerrero are having some troubles, to the point where their wedding is off. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Edge’s recent issues, from losing the World Title to CM Punk to his problems with Vickie Guerrero. Edge thinking that yelling at his boss/fiance was a good idea wasn’t his greatest moment.

Here is- Edge to get things going. He has had a week to think about what he said to Vickie Guerrero last week….and the wedding is STILL off. He’s happier without Vickie because he’s better than her. At the Great American Bash, he can prove everyone wrong by winning the World Title again.

He has won more titles than anyone else in this industry and he will prove how great he is again at the Great American Bash when he beats HHH. Cue Vickie Guerrero (Vickie: “Excuse me, baby.”) to say the wedding being canceled isn’t her loss. Vickie gives him a match tonight: a No DQ match against the Big Show. Edge says he isn’t afraid and promises to make Show a loser like her. Vickie has his mic cut off.

Video on Maria.

Matt Hardy vs. Shelton Benjamin

Non-title. Matt takes him into the corner to start and we actually get a clean break. Back up and Matt grabs a headlock for some careful grinding. Benjamin sends him into the corner and hits a neckbreaker for two. The neck crank goes on as Benjamin certainly has a target so far. That’s broken up and Benjamin misses the Stinger Splash, allowing Hardy to start the comeback.

It’s too early for the Twist of Fate so Hardy settles for a corner clothesline/bulldog. The top rope elbow to the back of the head gives Matt two but Benjamin is right back with the exploder for the same. Matt is back up to try the Twist of Fate but Benjamin grabs the rope and hits…well it was supposed to be Paydirt but Matt fell the wrong way, making it kind of a jumping clothesline. Either way, it gives Benjamin the upset pin.

Rating: C. The ending was a surprise and it was even a clean pin, which doesn’t make for the best future for Matt and the title. For now though, Benjamin getting a push isn’t a bad thing, but he couldn’t have put his feet on the ropes here? Nice job on the surprise pin, though I’m not wild on the way they got there.

The Edgeheads are in Vickie Guerrero’s office and say the three of them don’t deserve Edge’s abuse. Instead, they want to face Jesse and Festus, with Vickie making the match.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Domino

MVP is on commentary and gets a few jabs from Kennedy during the pre-match chat. Kennedy takes him down to start and hits a corner clothesline, with Domino bailing out to the floor. Back in and Domino manages a quick slam and legdrop but Kennedy fights up again. Some elbows to the face and a running boot in the corner have Domino in trouble, setting up the Mic Check to give Kennedy the pin.

Rating: C. They kept this short here and that is how it should have gone as the point was for MVP and Kennedy to be in the same place, likely with something happening after the match. Both of them could use this feud as they could both go or a boost. Domino does not seem long for this place, as he could not have been more of a jobber here.

Post match Umaga runs in and wrecks Kennedy.

Chavo Guerrero, with Bam Neely, gives Edge a pep talk and says he’s going to give Vickie Guerrero a piece of his mind.

Post break Chavo offers Vickie that piece of his mind….which is about how horrible Edge is and how the Guerreros have to stick together. Vickie doesn’t buy it (my goodness intelligence!) and gives Chavo a match with HHH instead.

Miz/John Morrison vs. Finlay/Hornswoggle

Non-title. Finlay and Morrison start things off as JR goes on a mini rant about Edge and Vickie’s drama. Miz’s cheap shot earns him a flip over the top so Finlay beats up both of them at once. Hornswoggle comes in for some Stunners (JR: “Next thing you know he’ll be drinking beer!”) but a double dropkick cuts him off. An enziguri hits a kneeling Morrison though and it’s Finlay coming in to clean house. The Celtic Cross connects but Miz makes the save. That earns him a shillelagh shot, followed by the Tadpole Splash to give Hornswoggle the pin.

Rating: C. Nothing is getting a ton of time this week and that doesn’t exactly make me interested in seeing the longer form rematch. This probably sets up a pay per view title match and at least there was some cheating to get us to the rematch. It’s still a bad night for the champs though and that isn’t the best thing to see.

Video on Jeff Hardy’s Mission: Impossible themed photo shoot as he chases the World Title.

HHH vs. Chavo Guerrero

Non-title and Bam Neely is here with Chavo. HHH fights out of a headlock to start and elbows him in the face, which does not sit well with Chavo early on. Chavo’s arm wringing gets him punched in the face and HHH starts in on the arm. Chavo comes back with some right hands and Neely’s cheap shot sets up a crossface chickenwing of all things. That’s broken up so HHH hits the running knee. The spinebuster cuts Chavo off again and, after decking Neely, HHH grabs the Pedigree for the pin.

Rating: C. Well at least the champion won for once, even if it was in another short match. Then again, it’s nice to have a showcase for the World Champion for a change as you don’t get to see that often enough. Chavo getting punished for trying to play Vickie and Edge at the same time was nice too and the match went well, which shouldn’t be a surprise.

Michelle McCool/Cherry vs. Natalya/Maryse

Michelle takes Maryse down to start as Foley explains how to pronounce Maryse. A dropkick gives Michelle two and it’s off to Cherry for a Hennig necksnap. Maryse runs over to bring in Natalya, who easily slams Cherry. Natalya gets in a kick to the leg and grabs the Sharpshooter for the fast pin. Did they suddenly get a go home cue or something?

Post match Natalya beats up Michelle and suplexes her on the floor.

Jesse & Festus vs. Curt Hawkins/Zack Ryder

Jesse slugs away at Hawkins to start and stomps him down in the corner. Ryder comes in but so does Festus with the latter getting to clean house. Festus clears the ring and Hawkins and Ryder just take the countout.

Post match the bell has turned Festus into a zombie again so Hawkins and Ryder beat down Jesse. They were being scientific….until Jesse rings the bell so Festus can wreck the villains.

Video on HHH.

Stevie Richards vs. Vladimir Kozlov

Kozlov has gained entrance music and runs him over with a shoulder to start. Some knees to the ribs and a fireman’s carry put Richards down and we hit the bodyscissors. Back up and Richards hammers away, only to get headbutted down for the pin.

Edge yells at Chavo Guerrero until the Edgeheads come in. The argument keeps going until Vickie Guerrero comes in. If anyone else tries to help Edge, or if Edge walks out on the match, they’re fired.

Raw Rebound.

Great American Bash rundown.

Edge vs. Big Show

No DQ and Vickie Guerrero is watching from the stage. Show starts fast and takes him to the floor for a ram into the barricade. The announcers’ table takes too long to load up though and Edge gets in a quick spear as we take an early break. Back with Show cutting off a kendo stick shot and throwing Edge into the steps and over the barricade without much effort. Edge comes back with a bulldog off of said barricade and they both get a breather.

A kendo stick to Show’s head lets them go back inside, where Edge’s choke manages to take Show down again. That’s broken up with a belly to back suplex but the chokeslam is countered into a DDT. Edge brings in a chair but charges a bit too hard, allowing Show to punch it into his face. For some reason that doesn’t know Edge silly and he’s back with a low blow. The Conchairto is loaded up but Show is up with a chokeslam. Show loads up his own Conchairto, only to have Vickie say stop the match. The bell rings and Vickie comes in to check on Edge.

Rating: C+. This felt like a house show street fight and that is probably something they have done more than once. The ending was more important though and that is going to lead to the next step in the rather long Edge/Vickie saga. Putting someone against Big Show is a pretty standard punishment, so everything here made sense, even if it wasn’t an instant classic.

Edge and Vickie reconcile to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. The ending is the big story here as there wasn’t much else on the rest of the show. They did well enough with Edge and Vickie, but that’s about all there is on here, with even HHH not feeling that important. HHH vs. Edge/Vickie is a big time feud and having it take place at a mid level pay per view like the Great American Bash is certainly a weird choice. Smackdown needs another good story though as there just isn’t much going on around here.

 

 

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Royal Rumble Count-Up: 2013 Redo – 2009: HHH and Orton. Again.

Royal Rumble 2009
Date: January 25, 2009
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 16,685
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross, Todd Grisham, Matt Striker, Tazz

ECW Title: Jack Swagger vs. Matt Hardy

Hardy walks into a belly to belly suplex from Jack for two though and both guys are down. A DDT on the arm gets two for the champion but Matt blocks a belly to back superplex. Matt hits a decent looking moonsault for two and the fans are getting into these kickouts. The Twist is countered and Jack sends Matt shoulder and possibly head first into the post. The Swagger Bomb retains the title.

Rating: B-. Better match than I was expecting here with both guys looking good out there. Matt was getting close to being something decent as a singles guy and this was his way off ECW and onto Smackdown. Swagger would go on to win a world title and shock the world in the process before falling through the floor soon after. Solid opener here.

Orton arrives and gets glared at.

Melina is challenging and Beth has Santino with her here. Beth shoves her around to start before easily breaking out of a headlock. A LOUD Santino chant starts up as Beth throws Melina around. Melina comes back with a shot to the head but gets shoved down immediately again. The challenger hooks an armbar of all things but Beth easily stands up while Melina stands on her shoulder.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Jeff Hardy

We head back inside again with Edge in full control including a spear in the corner. Jeff grabs a quick two off a sunset flip but gets clotheslined right back down. Off to a body vice by Edge to slow things down a bit. Jeff fights up and hits a mule kick before going up top, only to jump into a dropkick from Edge for two. Now Edge goes to get two chairs but Jeff spears him down off the apron before it can be brought in.

Rumble by the numbers which is roughly the same as the previous year.

Royal Rumble

Punk pulls Regal out and brags about it without getting thrown out. R-Truth is #24 and nothing happens. Rob Van Dam makes a one night only return at #25 after not having been seen in the WWE in about a year and a half. That at least wakes the crowd up but there are too many people in there for his style of stuff to work. He loads up the Five Star but Truth is too close so he has to bail out in mid air.

Jericho tries to put a sleeper on Show but it gets about as far as you would expect. Taker throws Punk to the apron as Show dumps Truth. Punk fires off some kicks and hangs on three times so Show finally knocks him out cold and out to the floor. Show knocks out Knox and Mysterio as Horny gets in for no apparent reason. Finlay tries to save him and gets dumped for his efforts at good parenting.

Ratings Comparison

Jack Swagger vs. Matt Hardy

Original: B

Redo: B-

Melina vs. Beth Phoenix

Original: C-

Redo: D+

John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Original: C

Redo: C-

Edge vs. Jeff Hardy

Original: B-

Redo: B

Royal Rumble

Original: D

Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: B+

Redo: C-

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/28/royal-rumble-count-up-2009-the-voices-tell-me-no-one-but-orton-has-a-chance/

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Royal Rumble 2006 (2020 Redo): Off To A Bad Start

Royal Rumble 2006
Date: January 29, 2006
Location: American Airlines Arena, Miami, Florida
Attendance: 16,178
Commentators: Joey Styles, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz

This is going to be an interesting one as the Rumble itself has received very little build. It has gotten about as little attention as I can remember in recent years, but things are in a weird place at the moment anyway. Other than that, we have Mark Henry challenging Kurt Angle for the Smackdown World Title and John Cena trying to get the Raw World Title back from Edge. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at all three main events, which is covering all of the bases fairly well.

Cruiserweight Title: Cruiserweight Open

Kid Kash, Gregory Helms, Jamie Noble, Funaki, Nunzio, Paul London

Kash is defending, it’s one fall to a finish, only former champions are allowed in, and if this was mentioned on Smackdown, it was in a one off statement. They go with the parade of rollups to start until the five Smackdown wrestlers jump Raw’s Helms. Noble armbars Kash but it’s broken up by London as this is more like a battle royal with everyone pairing off. London is sent to the floor and Nunzio hits the Sicilian Slice (middle rope Fameasser on Helms).

Noble hits a flying leg lariat on Kash with Funaki breaking it up at two. Funaki whips Noble to the ropes but Noble dives onto Nunzio instead. Kash and Funaki head outside and it’s London hitting a shooting star onto the big pile at ringside. Back in and Helms hits a super swinging neckbreaker on London, followed by Kash hitting London with the Dead Level. Nunzio and Funaki make the save so Noble chops the heck out of Funaki. A fireman’s carry gutbuster sets up a dragon sleeper but Helms makes the save. Noble is sent outside and a Shining Wizard to Funaki gives Helms the pin and the title.

Rating: C+. This was the right call for Helms, who lost clean to Jerry Lawler on pay per view earlier this month. He needs to get away from Raw as fast as he can and this is as good of a way as he can do it. There are only so many spots for cruiserweights on either show but it’s not like Kash was anything special anyway. Good move, and a nice choice for a start.

Teddy Long and Vince McMahon are ready for the Rumble but Vince is more excited that Torrie Wilson, Candice Michelle and Victoria are monitoring the tumbler. Randy Orton comes in to draw his number, as does HHH. Trash talk ensues and HHH asks Candice to hold his ball. HHH is really unhappy with his number, with Randy telling him that he’s screwed.

Trish Stratus, refereeing the next match, is warming up when Mickie James comes in with something to tell her. It’s not a good time, but Mickie says she loves her. Trish leaves without saying anything.

Ashley vs. Mickie James

Trish is refereeing and Lawler longs to be her shirt. Mickie and Ashley fight to the floor before heading back inside for an exchange of wristlocks. Ashley actually gets the better of it, with Joey calling her “technically sound”. Mickie is sent outside for an apron clothesline from Ashley, followed by some technically sound right hands in the corner. Trish breaks it up so Mickie grabs a quickly broken half crab.

That’s fine with Mickie, who gets to stare at Trish and beat Ashley up on the floor. A bow and arrow goes on with commentary pointing out that Mickie is trying to impress Trish. Ashley fights up and throws her down by the hair a few times before rolling Mickie up for two. Something like a spear drives Mickie into the corner as the fans are loudly booing Ashley. More right hands in the corner have Mickie in trouble but she uses the trunks to pull Ashley down with a powerbomb for a distressed three from Trish.

Rating: D. Ashley is trying as hard as she can but she’s just not that good. It doesn’t help when you have Mickie and Trish, two of the best of their generation, out there while we have to sit through Ashley’s bad….well almost everything. They’re stretching this out until Wrestlemania and putting Ashley in the ring on pay per view for nearly eight minutes is not the best way to go about it.

Post match Mickie hugs Trish, who still doesn’t seem pleased.

Vince admires the women’s tattoos, some of which are in some suggestive places. Big Show comes in to draw his number but can’t get his hand in the tumbler. Rey Mysterio comes in and, after an Eddie chat with Big Show, draws his number. Rey: “Eddie, you got me man. You got me.”

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Boogeyman

Jillian Hall is here with JBL. After cowering during Boogeyman’s entrance, JBL hides behind Ashley and then bails to the floor. Boogeyman mounts her and spits worms onto her, which is finally enough to get us ready. JBL hammers away to knock Boogeyman outside before taking him inside for some choking with the tape. The Clothesline From JBL only hits the corner though and Boogeyman hits the pumphandle powerslam for the pin. I’m not sure if that’s a good idea or not, as Boogeyman isn’t exactly a main event star, but JBL isn’t as much of one as he was just a few months ago.

Worms are consumed post match.

Mama Benjamin hits on Vince and Shelton Benjamin draws. That goes well for him but here’s Melina to interrupt. Mama gets Shelton out in a hurry as MNM come in to draw. They seem rather pleased and Melina offers to have the two of them get rid of Shawn Michaels.

We recap the Royal Rumble, which is more or less “anyone could win”. They haven’t focused on it that much this year and that leaves some options open.

It’s Royal Rumble time but here’s the Spirit Squad to interrupt. After a cheer about the Rumble, we’re ready to go. Glad we got that out of the way, but it’s certainly a unique gimmick.

Royal Rumble

Ninety second intervals with HHH in at #1 and Rey Mysterio, in a low rider, in at #2. Lawler: “If you’re number one or two, you’re screwed.” This company really doesn’t have much of a memory does it? Rey goes fast to start with a running dropkick to the knee and a headscissors. The right hands in the corner set up the missed 619 and it’s Simon Dean in at #3. Dean stomps on Rey but can only send him to the apron. For some reason Dean thinks HHH will like him and that’s good for an elimination in a hurry.

Rey hits the Bronco Buster on HHH and it’s Psicosis in at #4. Psicosis goes after Rey as well and a swinging sitout faceplant drops him again. An attempt at a Razor’s Edge over the top results in a hurricanrana to get rid of Psicosis. Before anything else can happen, it’s Ric Flair in at #5 (Flair was in five Rumbles. In four of them, he was in the first five entrants.). HHH panics and the fight is on, with Flair grabbing him low but getting poked in the eyes.

A backdrop gets rid of Flair and it’s Big Show in at #6. That means another beatdown on HHH, including the standing legdrop and an elbow. Jonathan Coachman is in at #7 and Big Show gets rid of him as quickly as you would expect. Show stands on HHH’s head again and it’s Bobby Lashley (a dark horse according to Cole) in at #8. A big right hand puts Lashley down but he backdrops Show in a nice power display.

Lashley kicks Show to the floor (not eliminated) and it’s Kane in at #9 as they’re stacking the first part of this thing. Kane and Lashley slug it out with Kane hitting a big boot. Lashley snaps off a belly to belly, knocks down HHH, and hits the Dominator on Kane. It’s Sylvan in at #10, giving us HHH, Mysterio, Big Show, Lashley, Kane and Sylvan.

After Lashley dispatches him even faster than Show got rid of Coach, it’s a double chokeslam to plant Lashley. Kane and Show get rid of him after a strong showing and it’s the giant slugout. They choke each other on the ropes until HHH dumps both of them out (I’m shocked too) so here’s Carlito at #11 to fill in the ring a little more. Carlito stomps on Rey and HHH until a Roddy Piper style eye poke gets HHH out of trouble. Chris Benoit is in at #12 with Cole explaining about Benoit winning last year (hopefully jogging Lawler’s memory a bit).

The Crossface has Carlito in trouble, with HHH making the fast save. That wasn’t the brightest idea in the world but he sends Benoit to the apron where they fight over a suplex attempt. Benoit puts him down and hits the Swanton but here’s Booker T. (back in the long tights) in at #13. Benoit gets rid of Booker in about 20 seconds (Booker was probably still injured) so it’s back to chopping away at everyone else.

Joey Mercury is in at #14 and Benoit gives him a German suplex in a hurry. More chopping ensues as Tatanka of all people is in at #15 to go after HHH. The fans seem to remember him, but that might just be the Florida State Seminoles chant. Everyone pairs off and it’s Johnny Nitro in at #16 as Benoit gets HHH to the apron. Trevor Murdoch is in at #17 (Lawler: “He looks like a big bottle of milk.”) as the ring is getting full in a hurry. Rey is sent to the apron for the third time but is right back in with a basement dropkick to HHH.

Eugene is in at #18 for an airplane spin on Murdoch so Rey gives the two of them a double bulldog. Animal, with bright green shoulder pads, is in at #19. Things slow down again with the only thing between entrances being MNM failing to get rid of Rey. The returning Rob Van Dam is in at #20, giving us HHH, Mysterio, Carlito, Benoit, Mercury, Tatanka, Nitro, Murdoch, Eugene, Animal and Van Dam. Rob goes after almost everyone, including a spinwheel kick to HHH. MNM goes after Rob but he shrugs that off and gets rid of Animal.

Orlando Jordan is in at #21 and doesn’t even get a reaction in his hometown. There are WAY too many people in there and it’s making it hard to do much. Van Dam manages a middle rope kick to Carlito’s face and it’s Chavo Guerrero in at #22. Rolling Thunder hits Jordan and Chavo gets to clean a little house, including Three Amigos to Nitro. For some reason Chavo goes up top and HHH shove shim out without much effort.

Matt Hardy is in at #23 as there is only room for about two people to do anything at a time. MNM dumps Tatanka and it’s Super Crazy in at #24. He comes in with a very high crossbody to MNM and it’s back to fighting on the ropes. Shawn Michaels is in at #25 and PLEASE GET RID OF SOME PEOPLE. Murdoch is Shawn’s first victim and it’s Chris Masters in at #26 because the ring MUST stay overly full. Mercury and Hardy both save themselves and HHH has to do it as well.

Viscera is in at #27 (lucky us) for a Samoan drop on Hardy. There’s the Visagra and Hardy is out for daring to try a Twist of Fate on the monster. Shelton Benjamin is in at #28 as Benoit gets rid of Eugene. There’s a Dragon Whip to HHH as Goldust is in at #29. Crazy seems to have been put out off camera and Randy Orton is in at #30.

Side note: Cole says Orton is coming off a phenomenal 2005. What exactly did he do? Lose the title match against HHH at the Rumble, lose against the Undertaker at Wrestlemania and in the Cell, and need his dad to help him beat Undertaker. Oh and be the sole survivor at Survivor Series (thanks to a distraction), which he had done twice before. That’s phenomenal?

Anyway, the final grouping is HHH, Mysterio, Carlito, Benoit, Mercury, Nitro, Van Dam, Jordan, Michaels, Masters, Viscera, Benjamin, Goldust and Orton, or nearly half of the field. Orton gets rid of Benoit in a hurry to make up for Smackdown and Carlito/Masters dump Viscera. Carlito immediately turns on Masters to eliminate him as they’re picking up the pace in a hurry.

Goldust hits Shattered Dreams on Carlito, and is quickly eliminated by Van Dam. Orton gets rid of Jordan (after a ridiculous sixteen minutes), leaving Shawn and HHH to do their big showdown. MNM breaks that up but Michaels breaks that up and sends Nitro into Mercury to get rid of Joey. Michaels clotheslines Nitro out and skins the cat back in but Shelton jumps him. Shawn superkicks Shelton out without much effort but here’s Vince McMahon to order Michaels out.

Cue Shane McMahon from behind to dump Shawn, who charges back in, chases Shane off, superkicks HHH for old times’ sake, and follows the McMahons to the back. Van Dam gets rid of Carlito and we’re down to Van Dam, HHH, Orton and Mysterio. The tag match breaks out with Van Dam and Mysterio getting the better of it. For some reason Rob goes up and gets crotched by HHH, who sends Rey into Van Dam for the elimination.

Rey has to knock HHH and Orton down at the same time, setting up a double 619. Orton clotheslines Rey down though and powerslams HHH for a bonus. HHH is back up with a spinebuster to Orton but Rey gets rid of HHH to bring the fans WAY back into it. Just because he’s evil, HHH pulls Mysterio to the floor and sends him into the steps. The EDDIE chants start up and Rey manages to slip off Orton’s shoulder and a hurricanrana gives Rey the win.

Rating: B-. It’s good enough, but the Eddie praise got a little rough to take as the match went on. The far bigger problem though was having so many people in the ring at once for long stretches, leaving the people to have to find what openings they could in their limited room. That’s not a good setup for the Rumble and when it’s for the sake of having people like Tatanka and Jordan in there for long stretches, they seem to be missing the point.

Mickie interrupts a Trish interview and says she understands what Trish had to do out there. It’s because Trish loves her too! Trish follows her off to straighten things out.

Rey celebrates in the back when Edge comes in to say Rey better not try Benoit’s loophole by jumping over to Raw.

We recap Edge vs. John Cena for the Raw World Title. Edge cashed in the Money in the Bank briefcase after Cena survived the Elimination Chamber and went on to be a very different kind of champion. It was rather cool at times, but he doesn’t have much chance in this one.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Edge

Cena is challenging and comes to the ring walking across a confetti shooting scaffold that was lowered from the ceiling. Joey says Cena is fresh here, rather than coming off a 45 minute Elimination Chamber. Why can no one in wrestling tell time? The match wasn’t even 30 minutes long. Cena clotheslines him to the floor to start but Edge manages a trip into the middle buckle.

Back up and Cena grabs a side slam for two so Edge bails outside. That means it’s already time for a Lita distraction and Edge spears Cena into the steps. Cena is sent over the barricade for a nine count and Edge mocks You Can’t See Me. Some kicks to Cena’s face get two and Edge suplexes him down to work on the ribs some more. Cena is sent outside this time and Edge follows to keep hammering away. Back in and Edge gets two off a missile dropkick, setting up a jumping clothesline.

Edge snaps off some jabs to the jaw but has to rake the eyes to get out of a quick FU attempt. Another boot to the face lets Edge go up for a high crossbody, with Cena rolling through for a quick two. A chinlock with a bodyscissors has Cena down again but he powers to his feet. Cena grabs a DDT and they’re both down. The comeback is on and the Shuffle connects for no cover thanks to Lita. That doesn’t really matter though as Cena hits the FU into the STFU to get the title back.

Rating: B-. The wrestling was good enough but the ending wasn’t quite in doubt. As cool as it was to see Edge win the title, I don’t think anyone was buying him as being the champion coming into Wrestlemania. Cena is still the biggest star in the world, despite the mixed reactions getting stronger. I’m thinking Edge will be fine though, as the ratings for his shows as champion are hard to ignore.

Post match, Edge doesn’t want to talk and storms off. Jim Duggan comes up for the obvious Lita joke. I love that Duggan got into gear for the sake of the cameo. It’s such a wrestler thing to do.

Kurt Angle is ready to beat Mark Henry. He’s coming in as champion and leaving as champion. Oh and Mark Henry: YOU SUCK!

Smackdown World Title: Mark Henry vs. Kurt Angle

Henry is challenging and has Daivari in his corner. Angle goes for the leg to start and is shrugged off with ease. With the direct approach not working, it’s off to some speed to make Henry miss. Henry gets hold of Angle’s hand though and starts cranking, before dropping Angle ribs first across the top rope. After a trip to the floor with Henry wrecking the steps for no reason, they head back inside with Henry dropping onto his chest for two. The bearhug goes on but Angle slips out and goes for the ankle lock. Henry powers out so Angle hits the German suplex.

The Angle Slam connects for two and the straps go down, setting up another ankle lock. Henry powers out again and the referee gets bumped. Angle goes for a chair, which he uses on Daivari for trying to cut him off. Henry takes the chair from Angle, so it’s a low blow to slow Henry down. Two chair shots to the head give Angle two so he unhooks a turnbuckle pad. Henry goes face first and it’s a rollup with a grab of the rope to retain.

Rating: D. Well that didn’t work. Rey Mysterio got a better match out of Henry on Smackdown and Angle had to cheat over and over to survive here. They might have been able to do something with some more time, but at about nine and a half minutes, there wasn’t much that they could pull off as Angle had to spend the last few minutes cheating to keep the title. I get protecting Henry, but dang this was a rough sit.

Post match Angle celebrates but the gong sounds. Flanked by druids, Undertaker comes to the ring in a horse drawn chariot before motioning that he wants the title. Some lighting goes off at the posts and the ring collapses to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. There’s nothing on here worth seeing, as the Rumble is middle of the road at best, the World Title matches were never in doubt, and nothing was especially good. It’s a weird time in WWE as they’re trying to gear up for Wrestlemania but other than exploiting Eddie’s death, there isn’t much that can be done to fire up interest at the moment. Wrestlemania doesn’t look promising, but it does feel like it’s a long way off, which isn’t a good sign either. The show isn’t terrible, but it also isn’t anything you need to see.

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Royal Rumble 2008 (2022 Redo): SURPRISE!

Royal Rumble 2008
Date: January 27, 2008
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City New York
Attendance: 20,798
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole Jonathan Coachman, Joey Styles, Tazz

I believe this is my fifth time reviewing this show but I’m always curious to see how much different it feels having recently watched the TV leading up to it. The show has been set for a long time now and that means we need to get on with the pay per view already. Of course there is the Royal Rumble, but the Raw World Title match between Jeff Hardy and Randy Orton is the real draw here. This show is summed up in three words: Hardy Could Win. It worked in 2008 and it’s working again here. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at the history of the Royal Rumble, with this year’s being extra special because it’s in Madison Square Garden. Works for me.

Ric Flair vs. MVP

Flair’s career is on the line but MVP’s US Title isn’t. Before the match, Flair talks about how he has wrestled here throughout his career, starting all the way back in 1976. Flair thanks the fans for the respect they have given him throughout the years….and then MVP’s music cuts him off. Feeling out process to start with Flair being driven back into the corner, meaning he needs to stop and think for a second.

A hammerlock sends MVP into the ropes so Flair chops him down. Back up and MVP kicks Flair in the head to take over, setting up a neckbreaker for two. Something like a crossface chickenwing keeps Flair down but MVP is no Bob Backlund, meaning Flair is right back up. Flair goes for the knee but gets knocked into the corner, allowing MVP to strike him down. The running boot in the corner gives MVP three, albeit with Flair’s foot on the ropes.

The distraction lets Flair roll him up for two so MVP grabs a butterfly suplex for two of his own. A superplex gets two more and the frustration is really setting in. Back up and they collide for a double knockdown, making me wonder if a draw would end Flair’s career. Flair rolls him up a few times for two each before chopping away. That earns Flair a facebuster but the Playmaker is countered into a Figure Four to give Flair the win.

Rating: C. This wasn’t so much about the drama, as Flair wasn’t going to lose to MVP, even at a show like the Rumble. Instead, this was all about Flair getting in Madison Square Garden one more time and the match was built up over a few weeks. I’m not wild on the US Champion giving up clean, but there are bigger things afoot here.

Vince McMahon gives Hornswoggle a pep talk for the Royal Rumble, Finlay comes in and Vince suggests that Hornswoggle might turn on him.

And now, we meet Mike Adamle, who talks about Ric Flair’s match and throws it to a package on Chris Jericho vs. JBL.

We recap Jericho vs. JBL, which is focused on JBL not liking Jericho’s comeback and costing him the WWE Title. Then JBL took him out, setting up this showdown.

Chris Jericho vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Jericho drives him into the corner to start so JBL begs off a bit. That doesn’t work for Jericho, who takes him down and hammers away again. A missed clothesline lets Jericho grab the Walls, which sends JBL bailing to the rope. Jericho knocks him outside for a baseball slide and then sends him into the steps for a bonus. Back in and JBL drops the bad throat across the top to take over.

As you might guess, JBL starts hammering Jericho down in the corner, albeit not as fast as he did in the past. The logical sleeper goes on for a bit, until Jericho fights up and hits his own hard clothesline. Back up and JBL sends him HARD into the post, with Jericho coming up busted open. Jericho pops back to his feet and sends JBL outside despite being COVERED in blood. One heck of a chair shot to the head knocks JBL silly but also hands Jericho the DQ.

Rating: C+. It was a bit of a slow match but they did a great job of setting up the violent ending. They were trying to keep the feud going here and Jericho being that busted open was a good way to accomplish just that. It was a violent fight and Jericho’s chair shot made it even better. Not too bad here, albeit with the usual Jericho pacing issues.

Post match Jericho unloads on JBL and chokes him with the camera cable as JBL did to him a few weeks ago.

Ashley Massaro tries to talk to Maria but Santino Marella cuts her off, saying Maria isn’t interested in Playboy. Right.

We recap Edge vs. Rey Mysterio for the Smackdown World Title. Edge won the title thanks to some assistance from Vickie Guerrero, his new girlfriend. Rey won a Beat The Clock Challenge by pinning Edge to earn the shot here, with the Rey/Guerrero family details making things even more complicated.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Rey Mysterio

Edge, with Vickie Guerrero and the Edgeheads, is defending. They take their time to start with Edge grabbing a wristlock. Rey kicks his way out as the fans are WAY behind Edge, with Cole writing it off as a New York thing. Edge sends him to the apron and hits a baseball slide to the floor, where the Edgeheads get THIS CLOSE to interfering. That’s enough for an ejection, allowing Rey to come back with a springboard seated senton for two.

Rey tries to pick up the pace even further but gets knocked off the top for a crash. The half crab goes on to keep Rey in trouble before Edge shifts it to something like an ankle lock. Rey’s leg is good enough to come back with an enziguri but the 619 is cut off. Back up and Rey manages to hit the sitout bulldog, setting up a kick to the head with the good leg for two.

Edge is staggered enough that Rey can knock him to the floor, setting up a sliding tornado DDT. Back in and Edge boots him down but Rey hits a quick 619. The top rope splash connects but Vickie gets out of the wheelchair to break up the pin. Rey doesn’t get distracted and sets up another 619, which only hits the interfering Vickie. That’s enough of a shock for Edge to spear Rey out of the air to retain.

Rating: B-. Another good one here, even if there was no chance of a title change here. Rey was little more than the designated victim for Edge as tends to be the case for the Royal Rumble. They had a pay per view worthy match though and Edge gets to move on to someone bigger with Wrestlemania on the way. Nice stuff here, given the circumstances.

Everyone checks on Vickie, who has to be put back in the wheelchair.

Mr. Kennedy comes in to see Ric Flair (in a towel) and condescendingly praise him for his win. Kennedy promises to win the Rumble and suggests he could retire Flair before Wrestlemania. Shawn Michaels comes in to suggest that Kennedy leave and then accidentally compares Flair to Kennedy. Flair knows Shawn is winning the Rumble tonight….and here’s Batista for an awkward staredown. And HHH too, just to make it weirder. HHH tells Ric to put his pants on and Shawn plugs his new shirt.

Here is Maria for the Kiss Cam. With that out of the way, Ashley Massaro comes out to offer Maria the Playboy spot but here is Santino Marella to say no for her. Oh and New York sports teams are awful. Maria thinks posing is a good idea so Santino has a present for her: Big Dick Johnson in New England Patriots (playing the New York Giants in the Super Bowl) gear. The women beat Johnson up to finish this one big announcement off.

Mike Adamle throws us to a package on Randy Orton vs. Jeff Hardy.

We recap Jeff Hardy challenging Randy Orton for the WWE Title. Hardy is on the roll of a lifetime and is ready to challenge for the title. This was one of the best builds WWE has done in a LONG time as it feels like Hardy could actually pull off the huge upset. This gets the big music video treatment and it still works very well.

Raw World Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Randy Orton

Orton is defending and Hardy’s Intercontinental Title isn’t on the line. They fight over a lockup to start until Jeff shoves him away to a rather strong reaction. Hardy grabs a headlock on the mat, which is reversed with a headscissors. That doesn’t bother Hardy, who is right back with the legdrop between the legs for two. Orton gets clotheslined to the floor and there’s the dropkick through the ropes to send him hard into the barricade.

They fight on the floor for a bit with Orton grabbing a belly to back suplex for two back inside. The circle stomp keeps Hardy in trouble and the choking has JR and King getting rather annoyed. Hardy fights up again and sends Orton over the top for a change, setting up the big dive off the apron. Back in and Jeff gets sent shoulder first into the post to put him right back down, meaning Orton can grab the chinlock.

Hardy fights up after a good while and hits the Whisper In The Wind for a rather near fall. The Swanton is loaded up but Orton rolls outside before it can launch. That’s fine with Hardy, who dropkicks Orton off the apron and hits a moonsault off the top to make it even worse. Back in and the Twist of Fate is loaded up but Orton counters into the RKO to retain the title.

Rating: B-. It didn’t have the hue moment of Hardy winning the title but it wound up being a pretty solid match with Hardy coming up just short. The problem is that they didn’t have any major spot from Hardy but you could tell that he would be back. Hardy will have to get there somewhere, though he had to come up short here, despite an amazing buildup.

Rumble By The Numbers time!

569 wrestlers eliminated
36 wrestlers eliminated by Steve Austin
11 appearances by Shawn Michaels
11 wrestlers eliminated by Kane in 2001
3 Mick Foley personae to appear in the same Royal Rumble
2 feet that have to touch the ground
1 woman to enter the match, with Chyna
62:12 that Rey Mysterio lasted in 2006
2 seconds that Warlord lasted in 1990
3 Steve Austin wins
2 wins for the #1 spot, compared to 1 win for #30
#27 produces the most winners
73% of winners have gone on to win the title at Wrestlemania since 1993

Michael Buffer handles the Royal Rumble intro in a nice bonus.

Royal Rumble

90 second intervals. Undertaker is in at #1 and Shawn Michaels is in at #2 so they’re starting very fast here. Undertaker wastes no time in slugging away and even knocks Shawn onto the top. A running big boot only hits corner though and Undertaker winds up on the apron. That’s fine for him as he catches a charging Shawn by the throat and drops him with a big boot. Santino Marella is in at #3 and lasts as long as you would expect. With Santino gone, Shawn tries to toss Undertaker but gets punched in the face again. Old School is broken up without much trouble and Great Khali is in at #4.

The fans start up the YOU CAN’T WRESTLE chants as Undertaker strikes away at Khali and actually choke shoves him out. Hardcore Holly is in at #5 and actually hangs on for a bit by slugging it out with Undertaker. That earns him a big boot to the face but Shawn goes to eliminate Undertaker, allowing Holly to fire off some chops in the corner. John Morrison is in at #6 and it’s time for people to start pairing off. With nothing going on, Tommy Dreamer is in at #7 because we needed some ECW chants.

Dreamer does about what you would expect from him until Batista is in at #8 to keep the star power up. Dreamer breaks up the Undertaker vs. Batista showdown and is promptly eliminated (serves him right). Batista spears Morrison down as commentary thinks teaming up on Undertaker/Batista/Shawn makes sense. Hornswoggle is in at #9 and goes straight underneath the ring in a smart move. Batista hits another spear on Undertaker and Holly backdrops Shawn.

Chuck Palumbo is in at #10, giving us Undertaker, Shawn, Holly, Morrison, Batista, Hornswoggle (under the ring) and Palumbo. Morrison saves himself from elimination as the six in the ring pair off a bit. The banged up Jamie Noble is in at #11 and lasts all of thirty seconds before getting tossed by Palumbo. CM Punk is in at #12 and gets his face blasted off by Shawn’s clothesline. Cody Rhodes is in at #13 and manages to dropkick Undertaker down as Punk knocks Palumbo out. Umaga is in at #14 and Spikes Holly out to keep the numbers even.

Snitsky is in at #15 and stomps on Cody in the corner until Miz is in at #16. Undertaker goes after Umaga (weird pairing) but can’t get him out. Shelton Benjamin is in at #17 and snaps Miz and Morrison’s throats on the top. Paydirt hits Punk but Shawn superkicks Shelton out in less than twenty seconds. Jimmy Snuka is in at #18 for the big nostalgia pop in the Garden. Punk goes straight for him because he wants to get knocked down by Snuka.

Speaking of Snuka, he got a big pop at #18, but Roddy Piper is in at #19 for a bigger one. Everything stops cold for the Piper vs. Snuka showdown and yeah ok this is awesome. Kane is in at #20 and tosses Piper and Snuka without much trouble. That leaves us with Undertaker, Michaels, Morrison, Batista, Hornswoggle (still underneath the ring), Punk, Rhodes, Umaga, Snitsky, Miz and Kane. Umaga breaks up a chokeslam to Shawn and it’s Carlito in at #21.

Punk and Morrison almost toss Carlito out but he springboards back and catches Punk with a Backstabber. Mick Foley is in at #22 to start cleaning house but Umaga runs a lot of people over as well. Mr. Kennedy is in at #23 and hits some Mic Checks before kicking down a sitting up Undertaker. That’s not cool with Undertaker who gives him a chokeslam and gets his own chance to clean house.

Big Daddy V is in at #24 and Undertaker knocks Snitsky out, only to get superkicked out by Shawn. Kennedy tosses Shawn immediately thereafter and the ring is suddenly a lot more empty. Shawn lands at Undertaker’s feet but Undertaker beats up Snitsky to let off steam instead. Kennedy and Rhodes fight to the apron but it’s Mark Henry in at #25. Henry and V start getting all dominant as Hornswoggle pops out to pull Miz to the floor for an elimination.

Chavo Guerrero is in at #26 and Punk is right on him as Kane boots Morrison out. Hornswoggle pops out again and gets grabbed by Henry and V. Cue Finlay with the shillelagh (I guess in at #27) for the save and he leaves with Hornswoggle, which apparently counts as a double elimination. Elijah Burke is in at #28 as JR says Finlay was officially disqualified for the shillelagh. Batista is knocked outside (not eliminated) and Chavo dumps out Punk to keep their feud going.

HHH is in at #29 and this should clear some people out. There goes Rhodes and V follows him, setting up the HHH vs. Foley slugout. HHH sends Foley into Burke for the double elimination and Umaga misses a charge into the post. There’s the Pedigree to Umaga…..and none of that matters as JOHN CENA returns at #30 to an all time shocked reaction.

It wasn’t clear if Cena was going to be back by Wrestlemania but since Cena doesn’t seem to be a human, he’s already back after two months instead of about six. That gives us a final grouping of Batista, Umaga, Kane, Carlito, Kennedy, Henry, Guerrero, HHH and Cena. After being shocked, the fans remember to boo Cena as he fires out Carlito, Henry and Chavo.

We get the big Cena vs. HHH showdown with HHH hitting the spinebuster but getting dropped by Umaga. Batista spears Umaga down and tosses Kennedy, followed by a running clothesline to get rid of Umaga. We’re down to Kane, Batista, HHH and Cena, with HHH and Batista quickly tossing Kane. They stare at each other for a long time before the fight is on. Batista clotheslines them both down and spinebusters HHH but Cena backdrops his way out of a Batista Bomb.

That’s enough for the elimination and we’re down to HHH vs. Cena. That means some sign pointing before the BOO/YAY slugout begins. Cena hits the ProtoBomb and the Shuffle but the AA is blocked. The double clothesline leaves them both down for a needed breather for both them and the fans. Back up and another AA attempt is countered and HHH hits a DDT to take over. HHH can’t throw him out and can’t Pedigree him either, as Cena reverses into an AA for the win.

Rating: B. This match had a lot of the things that a great Rumble needs, ranging from surprises (especially the big one at the end) to star power throughout to a few fun moments like Foley, Piper and Snuka. The Cena return is what people remember about this match though and that is all it needed to be, as that was a genuine shock for a great moment. Quite good Rumble, with the Cena part being the big icing on the cake.

Cena celebrates a lot to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. The Rumble is the biggest one match show of the year and as it goes, so goes the rest of the show. The other four matches on here were good enough but there was nothing worth going out of your way to see. Cena being back breathes a lot of life into the show but it was still a good one even coming to that point. Not an all time classic, but there are far worse ways to spend two hours and forth five minutes.

 

 

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Royal Rumble 2005 (2019 Redo): Oops I Tore My Quad

Royal Rumble 2005
Date: January 30, 2005
Location: Save Mart Center, Fresno, California
Attendance: 12,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross, Tazz

We’re finally to one of the more important shows ever and the main event is a two horse race. This is clearly the year of John Cena or Batista and either one is a great option to win. They’re owning their shows right now and both of them seem to be locks to walk out of Wrestlemania with the World Titles. Predictable does not mean bad though and that seems to be the case here. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at great Rumble endings as a clock counts down. After it reaches zero, we see….well more of the same actually but there are so many historic Rumble moments that it works just fine.

Edge vs. Shawn Michaels

Nothing wrong with a grudge match. Edge blames Shawn for him not winning the World Title and has taken out some aggression on him. They get started fast with Shawn clotheslining him to the floor and skinning the cat so the vest can come off. Back in and the announcers argue over whether or not Shawn is a champion hog. Edge gets in a swinging neckbreaker and the fans are all over him early on.

A Thesz press and right hands let Shawn throw him over the top for a nice mini moment. Shawn’s baseball slide misses though and it’s the Edge-O-Matic on the floor to knock him silly. Back in again and the fans stay behind Shawn as they’re certainly loyal. Edge gets two off a sitout powerbomb so it’s off to a rear naked choke. Well a chinlock with a bodyscissors because it’s Edge but close enough.

It’s switched to a regular chinlock and a slam, allowing Edge to strike Shawn’s pose. Shawn is annoyed but walking into a big boot makes it even worse. A clothesline takes Shawn down again as he can’t get anything going here. Another chinlock is broken up in a hurry and Shawn scores with a knee lift and some atomic drops. Ten right hands in the corner set up the catapult for two but Shawn has to stop Edge from walking out. It’s either a ruse or bad timing though as Edge gets in the spear on the floor.

Shawn beats the count back in and Edge….dances? That’s certainly a new one. What isn’t a new one is the spear (complete with tuning up the band, though JR insists that Edge has no band), which only gets two. A superplex is broken up though and Shawn drops the big elbow. Sweet Chin Music is countered into an electric chair drop (nice counter) and the Edgecator goes on. Shawn makes the long and slow crawl to the rope (Lawler: “He was going to tap and the rope happened to be there!”) but Edge grabs a rollup and a rope for the cheating pin.

Rating: B. It’s a nice mixture of action and storytelling here as the match was good and edge cheated to win, which is what makes perfect sense for him. Edge hit everything he had on Shawn to try and win clean and then went with the cheating to put him away. That’s exactly what Edge would do because he’s so obsessed with getting a win so well done on the opener.

Eric Bischoff and Theodore Long argue over which brand will win the Rumble. With that out of the way, we get Torrie Wilson and Christy Hemme to stand there while wrestlers come in to draw their numbers. Ric Flair and Eddie Guerrero come in first with Flair dancing and having the girls blow on his ball (make your own jokes). Flair is thrilled with his number so Eddie hugs him without drawing his own number. For the sake of convenience, Flair checks his number again and finds a bad one. The chase is on.

Heidenreich is freaking out over caskets when Gene Snitsky comes in. They like each other and Snitsky has an idea. The tone of voices sound like…..never mind.

We recap Heidenreich vs. Undertaker. Heidenreich is the latest monster and Undertaker has beaten him a few times but since WWE can’t just let him go, we get a casket match. As luck would have it, Heidenreich is terrified of caskets so he’s been running around in panic for weeks now. What a great way to present a monster.

Heidenreich vs. Undertaker

Casket match of course with druids bringing the casket out. Undertaker grabs a headlock and starts dragging Heidenreich towards the casket so at least he’s going smart early on. An armdrag into an armbar has Heidenreich close to the casket again as you can see a lot of empty seats popping up. Undertaker switches to the leg with a half crab so Heidenreich crawls to the rope, which is in front of the casket. No one ever accused him of making sense.

They head outside with Undertaker going face first into the casket as Heidenreich still isn’t coming off as interesting. Back in and Heidenreich hammers away in the corner while shouting that this is his world. Undertaker seems to disagree by grabbing a triangle choke on the top rope. Cue the taped up Snitsky to make the save and the double teaming is on. The casket is opened and Kane wakes up from his nap to pop out and make the second save.

Kane and Snitsky fight into the crowd as Heidenreich kicks the casket up the aisle. Undertaker goes knees first into the steps and it’s time to peel back the mats so we can get more violent. Heidenreich crushes him with the casket and it’s a cobra clutch to knock Undertaker out. Undertaker goes into the casket but keeps an arm out so the comeback can start.

The apron legdrop onto the casket onto Heidenreich gets the fans back into things but Undertaker walks into the swinging Boss Man Slam. Heidenreich covers due to general numbskulledness and Undertaker makes another comeback, this time with a bad looking running DDT. The chokeslam and Tombstone finish Heidenreich.

Rating: D. It’s not good, but this could have been a lot worse. Heidenreich got in some offense and didn’t feel as much like a chore to watch this time around, but this feud was done a month ago. The Kane and Snitsky stuff was pretty early on so the match was almost divided in half with a short piece in the middle. Somehow, we’ll call this better than expected, though that’s not the highest expectation.

Long demands Eddie give Flair’s number back and Evolution comes in to make it happen. Eddie gives it back and almost gets away with Flair’s wallet. With Eddie gone, HHH wants to talk to Batista about the Randy Orton match but Batista wants to go get his number first. HHH says NOW and Flair has to intervene.

Long comes back in to see Bischoff as Christian and Tyson Tomko are ready to draw their numbers. Christian and Tomko say they both signed a petition to get rid of Long and then draw. As Christian is happy, here’s John Cena to interrupt. Cena to Bischoff: “Loved you in Boogie Nights.” Christian wants a battle rap of all things and tells Tomko to give him a beat. Tomko: “No.” Christian manages to rhyme Transylvania with Wrestlemania but Cena goes with the gay jokes to win the audience’s approval.

Smackdown World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Big Show vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

JBL is defending. Angle chills on the floor to start and JBL actually starts swinging at Show. That’s quite courageous of him. Stupid as it works as well as you would expect, but courageous. Show catches him with a slam out of the corner and the legdrop gets two with Angle making a fast save. That’s fine with Show, who is right back up and knocks the two of them outside.

JBL gets posted and the power of the big hips knock Angle away as it’s all Show in the early going. Show sets up the steps next to the announcers’ and I don’t see this ending well. The super chokeslam is loaded up but Angle hits him low, setting up a monitor shot to knock Show through the table. Angle and JBL get back in with Angle grabbing an armbar, which feels a little out of place a giant just fell off the steps and through a table.

Some German suplexes fit the bill a bit better but the Angle Slam is escaped. JBL’s big boot gets two but Show is back in with a double clothesline. Show starts throwing the two of them around and another double clothesline connects for good measure. A double chokeslam is broken up though and it’s a Clothesline From JBL/chop block from Angle to put the giant down again. Angle is smart enough to hit a quick German suplex to drop the champ, followed by an Angle Slam to Show for no cover as Angle’s back is hurt.

Show is back up with a chokeslam for two, followed by a tackle to put JBL through the barricade. That leaves Angle in the ring with a chair but a charge lets Show flapjack him onto it. Cue Jindrak and Reigns to go after Show as the Cabinet is here to put JBL on a stretcher. Show fights the two of them up the aisle, leaving Jordan to throw JBL back inside. The Clothesline From JBL puts Angle down to retain the title.

Rating: B. Another rather good match here and that’s not a surprise whatsoever after what has been a really good story. These three had an odd chemistry together and the match was a lot better than it probably should have been. If nothing else it was nice to not have the goons get involved until the end, and even then it was just for a distraction. JBL’s title reign continues to be far better than he’s given credit for with a match that was actually a lot of fun to watch.

Carlito tries to get Batista to sign his petition but a threat of violence gets rid of that. Batista goes in to draw his number as Bischoff and Long argue over World Title matches. Long says there is going to be a bunch of interference so Bischoff bans Evolution from ringside. Batista wants to tell HHH himself and seems very happy.

Wrestlemania XXI trailer featuring Eugene as Forrest Gump. I loved these things and most of them were rather clever.

We recap HHH vs. Randy Orton. HHH won the World Title back inside the Elimination Chamber, including pinning Orton. It took Batista’s help though so Orton beat Batista in a #1 contenders match to earn the shot. Orton is a complete lame duck challenger as the fans have moved on to Batista and everyone but Orton seems to know it.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Randy Orton

HHH is defending and Evolution is barred from ringside. Orton slaps him in the face to get things going and a backslide gets an early two. A rather high backdrop looks to set up a very early RKO so HHH bails to the floor, allowing Orton to take him down out there instead. Back in and Orton grabs Snake Eyes but the RKO is countered with a toss over the top and what could have been a scary looking landing.

A ram into the steps makes it worse for Orton and the RANDY SUCKS chants are just downright mean. HHH goes after the knee, which was attacked on Raw and not brought up until now. We go to the Ric Flair knee work package, including the Figure Four. The hold stays on for over a minute until HHH slaps him in the face, causing Orton to turn it over, albeit right into the ropes.

They head outside again with HHH being thrown over the announcers’ table, which isn’t exactly a big deal this time. Instead Orton takes him back inside for the backbreaker and the assorted punches in the corner. The high crossbody gets two but HHH gets in a knee. The Pedigree is countered so HHH hits the jumping knee to the face for two. Another Pedigree attempt doesn’t work so Orton blasts him with a clothesline. Orton slugs away in the corner but a grab of the rope blocks a DDT.

That’s enough to send Orton outside and the referee threatens to stop the match because Orton looks out of it. Instead Orton gets back in but HHH crashes into both of them for the ref bump. The sledgehammer is brought out but Orton trips him face first into the post. Orton can’t follow up though and it’s a hard clothesline to take him down again. The Pedigree retains the title in a finish that sums up Orton’s entire face run.

Rating: C-. That ending was terrible as Orton never even got in the big hope spot. Instead it was Orton getting knocked silly, not being able to do anything but keep himself from getting hit by the sledgehammer and then falling to the Pedigree anyway. These two seem incapable of having a really good match together and that was the case again here. As mentioned, Orton had no chance so it’s far from some miscarriage of justice, but it was disappointing.

Kurt Angle steals Nunzio’s Rumble spot under the threat of violence.

The drunken Cabinet comes in to Long/Bischoff’s office. Long isn’t happy and makes JBL vs. Big Show in a barbed wire cage match for No Way Out. That’s quite the escalation and JBL sobers up in a hurry.

Royal Rumble

Since this is the main event, here’s your trivia for the night: this is the first pay per view since the Wrestling Classic (and therefore the second ever to this point) to not have a tag team match. In case you were worried about a slow start, Eddie Guerrero is in at #1 and Chris Benoit is in at #2 with ninety second intervals. Eddie starts on the floor before coming in for the feeling out process, which doesn’t get anyone anywhere. They start striking it out and Daniel Puder is in at #3. He gets in but goes straight back to the floor to grab a mic, saying everyone here is about to witness history.

Puder gets inside and it’s time for Benoit and Eddie to chop the heck out of him, which might be Benoit’s specialty. Some suplexes make it even worse and it’s Hardcore Holly in at #4. Benoit and Eddie are willing to stand back and let Holly chop him as the point is becoming clear in a hurry. Holly hangs him over the rope for the kick to the gut and there’s an Alabama Slam.

Hurricane is in at #5 as Puder is tossed. This was WWE’s way of punishing/initiating Puder for being successful in Tough Enough, because WWE feels the need to torment people for getting over. Puder would never wrestle on the main roster again and I’d be surprised if he had a major appearance. Eddie throws Holly out during Hurricane’s entrance and Hurricane is thrown out a few seconds later, just as Kenzo Suzuki is in at #6. Eddie and Benoit double team him as well but Benoit throws Eddie to the apron in a smart move.

Edge is in at #7 and this should make things more interesting. Chops and right hands abound until Benoit knocks Edge back a bit. Rey Mysterio is in at #8 and as soon as we get rid of Suzuki, a heck of a tag match could break out (with any combination of teams). Rey’s headscissors gets rid of Suzuki but walks into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker from Eddie to put everyone down. Shelton Benjamin is in at #9 and goes after Rey, who snaps off a headscissors.

Booker T. is in at #10, giving us Booker, Eddie, Benoit, Benjamin, Edge and Mysterio (get one or two more and you have a month’s worth of quality stuff). Rey can’t headscissor Shelton out but here’s Bischoff to watch. Benoit gets the Sharpshooter on Eddie, which Rey breaks up with a springboard dropkick. Just in case we don’t have enough awesome talent in the ring, Chris Jericho is in at #11. Jericho goes after Edge with right hands and a belly to back suplex before switching over to Eddie in the corner.

That means a lot more punching and not very close eliminations by the ropes until Scotty 2 Hotty is in at #15. Hang on though as Hassan and Daivari jump him in the aisle and Scotty can’t get in. Oh well. If we can drop every man for himself, we can drop 30 to 29. The beatdown takes long enough that it’s Charlie Haas in at #16. Booker kicks him in the face though and then tosses Reigns and Jordan in a row. He stops for a Spinarooni though and that’s enough for Eddie to get the elimination.

The eliminations slow for a bit as Rene Dupree is in at #17. Haas and Benjamin get back together for the jump over onto Rene’s back. Shelton misses a Stinger Splash though and Edge gets the elimination. Simon Dean is in at #18 but before he gets in, we need some Hindu squats. The distraction lets Edge get rid of Eddie and Dean finally gets in…..so Shawn Michaels, in at #19, can superkick him out. Things slow down a bit until Shawn dumps Haas.

Kurt Angle is in at #20 and it’s suplexes a go-go until Shawn superkicks him out. To recap, we now have Benoit, Edge, Mysterio, Jericho, Dupree and Michaels. Coach is in at #21 and immediately starts grabbing the rope to save himself. Mark Jindrak is in at #22 but Angle gets back in and throws Shawn out, followed by a step shot to the head for some blood. Angle is finally dragged off and it’s Viscera in at #23.

Rey saves himself from elimination so Viscera slams him in the middle. With nothing else going on, Paul London is in at #24, nearly sliding all the way outside as he comes in. Dupree slams him down and we get the French Tickler. Jericho is smart enough to use the delay to toss Dupree (Tazz: “His tickler just got Frenched!”.). No one can get rid of Viscera so here’s John Cena in at #25 to pick things way up.

Cena backdrops Viscera out on his own because WWE knows how to make someone look like a star in the Rumble. Gene Snitsky, who can run pretty well when he’s all taped up, is in at #26 to shoulder people down. Snitsky sends London to the apron and BLASTS him with a clothesline, sending London inside out for a highlight reel elimination. That gives us the Cena vs. Snitsky showdown with Snitsky hitting the big boot.

Kane is in at #27 and it’s chokeslams all around, with the one armed version to Mysterio looking great. Jindrak is out but Snitsky saves Coach of all people. The pumphandle slam drops Kane but none of that matters because Batista is in at #28 to bring the fans back to full strength (everyone knows it’s coming now and they’re fully on board the Batista train). Snitsky is out first and it’s time for the Kane showdown, with the full on BATISTA chants as background noise.

The Batista Bomb plants Kane and Batista throws Jericho out. Christian is in at #29 and gets beaten down by Cena as Rey hits the 619 on Kane. That’s enough for the FU to get rid of Kane (because Cena is smart enough to use a move like that next to the ropes). Rey and Cena set up an alliance and it’s Ric Flair in at #30, giving us a final field of Benoit, Edge, Mysterio, Coach, Cena, Batista, Christian and Flair. That’s quite the talent pool. Flair is smart enough to feed Coach into the spinebuster from Batista for the elimination and the same concept gets rid of Christian.

Benoit chops Flair in the corner but takes the big spinebuster as well. That’s it for Benoit but Flair makes the mistake of trying to toss Batista as well. Edge and Mysterio are smart enough to dropkick Batista at the same time with Edge getting rid of Flair (makes sense). That leaves us with Edge, Mysterio, Batista and Cena. Edge hits the spear on Batista and Cena but gets caught by the 619. Rey tries one too many runs off the ropes though and gets sent to the apron for a spear to the floor. Cena and Batista toss Edge and we’re down to the only two people who ever had a shot to win this thing in the first place.

Neither can hit their finisher and the fall out to the floor in the unplanned finish. With the referees split, cue Vince McMahon, who made the mistake of trying to get up from the Gorilla Position in a hurry after three hours. He tries to slide in under the bottom rope and there goes his quad (must be a family trait).

Vince tries to get up and just goes down, so the referees plead their cases as Vince sits down next to the bottom rope. With all of the confusion, they take turns throwing each one over the top (Batista threw Cena first, which makes sense. Cena throwing Batista out after and thinking that would count is just kind of dumb.). Vince says restart the match (and then goes to the back, where he put too much weight on his good leg and tore that quad as well), but for some reason Eddie and Benoit are nowhere to be seen. Batista throws Cena out in about ten seconds to officially win.

Rating: B+. If they could have nailed the ending, this is an all time classic. As it is, it’s just shy of great and that’s a pretty awesome place to be. Cena and Batista were all that mattered here and that was where they went for the ending, but the stuff before that was more than very good as well. They stacked the first half with talent and then had the very well done Angle vs. Shawn segment, which sets up a major match at Wrestlemania. By the time they were done, Cena showed up to bridge things to the ending. All in all, it’s a second tier Rumble at worst and just makes the end of the all time best list at best.

Overall Rating: A-. The Rumble is such a unique show as the one match can carry the rest of the card either up or down. In this case that’s very helpful as the four undercard matches nearly cancel each other out, with a pair of good ones, the bad casket match and the not very good Raw World Title match. What matters here though is they didn’t play any games with the ending and went with their strongest options at the finish. It was the right play and the only thing they could have done. Batista and Cena’s rockets are being attached to their backs and that’s what they have to do. Very good show and bordering on classic.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Royal Rumble 2004 (2018 Redo): Brain Over Brawn

Royal Rumble 2004
Date: January 25, 2004
Location: Wachovia Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 17,289
Commentators: Jim Ross, Michael Cole, Tazz, Jerry Lawler, Jonathan Coachman

It’s a big night and one of the most important shows of the year as we officially start the Road to Wrestlemania. The Royal Rumble is more wide open than in recent years and that’s often the best thing that can happen for the match. Other than that we have a pair of World Title matches, with Raw’s likely being too long and Smackdown’s needing to move on before the company makes itself look worse. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about how life’s road is unpredictable and how one turn can change everything. As you might guess, the Last Man Standing match gets the most time and the Rumble itself is mentioned last.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. Ric Flair/Batista

Flair and Batista are defending and it’s a tables match with Coach on commentary. Before the match, Batista gets in a quick jab at the Dudleys for being the biggest losers since the Philadelphia Eagles. They fight on the floor to start with Batista clotheslining the post by mistake to put the champs in early trouble. In a painful looking impact, Bubba slides a table from one side of the ring to the other, hitting Batista in the ribs to keep him in trouble.

A neckbreaker slows Batista down and D-Von takes him to the floor with a Cactus Clothesline. Flair has Bubba in the corner on a table (that’s so wrong for Flair) but Bubba is right back with the Flip Flop and Fly (that’s more Flair’s speed) Batista comes back in for the save though as I’m glad they’re not wasting time with tags here.

The belly to back suplex/neckbreaker combination puts Batista down as Evolution can’t get much going here. Flair goes up, and in a shocking change of events, Flair gets slammed down. It’s time for the table but cue Coach, with his bad ribs, for the save. That earns him a What’s Up attempt but Flair makes a save of his own. Batista is back in with a spinebuster to put D-Von through a table for the win.

Rating: D-. Just a Raw match designed to get these guys on the show, though I can appreciate them putting the tables match on first and hopefully we don’t get a bunch of chants about wanting tables. Other than that, I see nothing positive about this entire thing. Batista and Flair are fine as champions, but it’s not like they have anyone important to feud against at this point.

Flair says they’ll keep the titles as long as they want.

John Cena raps about how he’s going to win but Rob Van Dam comes in to steal the last rhyme, saying he’ll win the Rumble. Cena makes weed jokes and says Van Dam can suck his candy cane.

There’s an empty chair for Mick Foley, should he bother to show up.

Cruiserweight Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Jamie Noble

Rey is defending and Jamie has the still blind Nidia with him. A 619 attempt in the first ten seconds is countered into a hot shot as Jamie takes over. Cole says that Nidia, who is blind, is looking on as Jamie hiptosses Rey down, earning one heck of a tongue lashing from Tazz. Rey gets in a dropkick and a hurricanrana, followed by the sitout bulldog for two. The tiger driver is broken up and Nidia trips Jamie by mistake, setting up the 619. Rey Drops the Dime to retain in short order.

Rating: D. Well don’t bother wasting time I guess. This was barely three minutes long and they didn’t have time to do anything. Nidia’s interference was the most important part of the match and that took all of two seconds. These two are talented but they need more time than a run of the mill women’s match from this era to get anywhere.

We recap Eddie Guerrero vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr. They were a successful team but Eddie got way more popular, sending Chavo into a jealous rage when the team stopped doing as well. Chavo went nuts, blaming Eddie for all of their problems and bringing in his father to turn it into more of a family affair, even as Kurt Angle tried to play peacekeeper. This is one of the few stories that is going to work every single time and both of them have sold it exceptionally well, turning it into the best thing going on in WWE at the moment.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.

Chavo has his father with him. They fight over a hard lockup to start until Chavo slaps the taste out of Eddie’s mouth. A fired up Eddie shoves him into the corner but can’t bring himself to follow up because his heart is broken. He’s willing to take Chavo down into a chinlock but Chavo is right back up for a chop in the corner. Eddie chops him back and gives the first smile of the match. Some shoulders put Eddie down and Chavo is very pleased with his early success.

That just earns him a poke to the eye as the stalling continues. Eddie takes him down again but Chavo pops up in short order and hooks a hurricanrana to put them both on the floor. With Chavo back inside, his dad sends Eddie face first into the steps (Tazz: “I guess he doesn’t like his little brother.”) to give Chavo the first real advantage. Back in and Eddie grabs a cross armbreaker but can’t get it all the way on. Chavo scores with a belly to back suplex but the tornado DDT is broken up. Eddie rolls the suplexes and drops the frog splash for the win.

Rating: C. It was good while it lasted but it should have lasted about twice as long. This was a big time story on Smackdown and it ended in a match that was about half as long as the Smackdown main event. I’m assuming they’re setting Eddie up for something bigger down the line and they needed to get this out of the way, but this deserved more time.

Post match Eddie gets fired up for the first time and beats up both Chavos. Sr. gets tied to the bottom rope by the tie while Jr. gets stomped in the corner, busting him open in the process. They did a good job here with Eddie wanting to hold in his emotions during the match but being pushed too far after and finally erupting.

Chris Benoit is ready to go in at #1 when Evolution comes in with their champagne to celebrate. Flair says Benoit is the best technical wrestler alive and all man but the brass ring always slips out of his hand. It’s all about Evolution holding all of the gold so Benoit is always going to be second best.

We recap the Smackdown World Title match with Brock Lesnar defending against Hardcore Holly. Lesnar broke Holly’s neck back in 2002 and since we must go with real life instead of something, you know, interesting, we’ve been stuck watching Lesnar run from Holly for the last month. This is possibly the most ice cold title match in history as Holly is little more than a former comedy guy with a bad attitude who is ranting about wanting to break Lesnar’s neck. Lesnar can beat up Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit, but Hardcore Holly suddenly scares him? That’s what we’re going with here?

Smackdown World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Hardcore Holly

Lesnar is defending and Holly jumps him before the bell. The champ gets posted twice in a row and the bell rings with Holly on the apron, only to miss a top rope clothesline. Lesnar scores with a suplex as the referee is getting in the way more than usual here. A ram into the apron gives Lesnar two and it’s off to a waistlock on the mat. What would eventually be called a Shell Shock gives Lesnar two as this is a complete squash so far.

It’s back to the waistlock as you can hear the limited interest the fans had seeping out of the arena. A bearhug sets up a suplex and it’s right back to a head and arm choke. Holly fights up with some kicks to the ribs and clotheslines, followed by the Alabama Slam….for no cover as it’s off to that stupid full nelson. The hold stays on even as they fall to the floor so Holly tries it again with Lesnar on the apron. That earns him a neck snap across the top and the F5 retains the title.

Rating: F. Oh give me a break. Lesnar was never in danger here and in the six and a half minutes they had, at least half of it was Lesnar keeping him on the mat in a hold. Holly’s finisher, while fine for beating a midcarder here and there, is nowhere near enough to be a real threat to Lesnar. Thank goodness they didn’t tease a bunch of near falls and just got out of there, because this was a bad idea from the beginning.

We’re not even 52 minutes into the show and we’ve covered four matches, including three title matches. That’s a ridiculous pace, even for a Royal Rumble.

We recap Shawn Michaels vs. HHH, which they’re billing as seven years in the making. So we’re counting all of the four and a half years Shawn was on the shelf and the months long feud they had in 2002? They’ve traded wins and the title until Shawn got a pin on the last show of 2003, albeit with his own shoulders on the mat. Therefore it’s a Last Man Standing match tonight, which somehow ties into everything else they’ve ever done, including the most recent match, which is barely discussed.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Shawn Michaels

HHH is defending and it’s Last Man Standing. They fight over a lockup to start until Shawn gets the better of a chop off. It’s time for a mat sequence with Shawn loading up a backslide, only to let it go when he realizes what kind of match they’re having. One heck of a whip into the corner starts n on Shawn’s back, which is still a target six years after it was originally hurt.

Shawn is right back up with a Figure Four but HHH turns it over for the break. That’s enough of the wrestling so it’s time to head outside with HHH loading up the announcers’ table. A suplex through the table is broken up and Shawn ax handles him in the head. Back in and a backdrop puts HHH on the floor again but Shawn’s springboard spinning crossbody only hits table in a big crash.

Shawn is busted open (of course he is) and we get a replay, showing that Shawn would have cleared HHH by two feet even if HHH had stood in place. Back in again and the very bloody Shawn won’t stay down, instead telling HHH to bring it on. Right hands get a seven and a spinebuster gives HHH eight more. It’s chair time and a hard shot to the back gets nine this time. The Pedigree on the chair is countered into a slingshot into the corner, followed by Shawn’s own chair shot to the face.

Back up and the forearm into the nip up have the bloody HHH in trouble. The top rope elbow looks to set up Sweet Chin Music but HHH cuts him off with a low blow. Back up and Shawn grabs a sleeper, which lasts as long as a sleeper is going to in a match like this. HHH’s DDT gets eight so he loads up a belly to back superplex, which is countered into a spinning crossbody for a double knockdown. The Pedigree gets nine and Shawn hits Sweet Chin Music, good for a double knockout and a draw.

Rating: C-. Well of course we need to see these two fight again. You wouldn’t expect HHH and Shawn Michaels to wrap up their feud in just two matches right? This wasn’t very good with just an exchange of moves and nothing that went anywhere, though the blade jobs were both quite nasty looking. I’m sure we’ll see these two again, but these two will likely be fighting in their retirement home.

The fans are NOT pleased with the draw and I can’t say I blame them. HHH is taken out on a stretcher but Shawn insists on walking.

Video on the Royal Rumble, which really just shows the names involved. Chris Benoit is in at #1 and Goldberg is in at #30.

The Fink is ready to start the introductions but here’s Eric Bischoff to promise that Raw will win the match. He runs down Paul Heyman’s abilities to run shows in Bingo halls, in a line that has to have been repeated a thousand times now. Ignore that WCW officially went out of business before ECW (on an extreme technicality but it was still officially in business after WCW was purchased). Heyman tackles Bischoff but here’s Steve Austin on the ATV to say they’re both in violation of the law. Stunners abound and beer is consumed. I’m so glad they spent five minutes on this when four matches got less than twenty two minutes combined.

Goldberg is asked about being #30 in the Royal Rumble when Brock comes in to wonder where his interview is. Brock asks where Goldberg’s title is but Goldberg says it’s coming back at Wrestlemania. Goldberg suggests Brock is a coward.

Foley still isn’t here.

Royal Rumble

JR and Tazz are on commentary, thankfully giving us a standard booth instead of the usual mess that these things have become. Tazz even has keys to victory: hide, stamina, get a high number. I’ve heard worse analysis so I’ll take what I can get. Chris Benoit is in at #1 and Randy Orton is in at #2 and we have ninety second intervals. Benoit gets aggressive to start (ignoring key to victory #2) and scores with a suplex but gets uppercutted into the corner.

Mark Henry is in at #3 and shoves Benoit down so he can choke Orton in the corner. The clock seems to get a little faster as Tajiri is in at #4 and gets suplexed down for his efforts. Henry throws Orton ribs first onto the top rope and everyone pounds away as Bradshaw is in at #5. Clotheslines abound until Benoit pulls him into the Crossface and gets him out in less than a minute. Well at least they’re keeping the ring at a manageable number. Rhyno is in at #6 and goes after Orton and Benoit as Tajiri kicks away at Henry.

Tajiri can’t get the Tarantula so Rhyno Gores Henry, eliminating Tajiri in the process. Benoit dumps Henry and we’re already down to three. They fight by the ropes and it’s Matt Hardy in at #7. There’s a Side Effect to Rhyno but Benoit knocks Matt to the apron. Matt gets back in and everyone pummels everyone until Scott Steiner is in at #8. Benoit rolls some German suplexes on Steiner as JR gives us the good stat of there being no former Rumble winners in this match.

Matt Morgan is in at #9 as the ring is starting to fill up. A helicopter bomb plants Benoit and there’s a big boot to Hardy. It’s back to the exchange of forearms around the ring with no one going for an elimination until Hurricane is in at #10. Before I can recap who is in the match, Morgan tosses Hurricane in short order, leaving us with Benoit, Orton, Rhyno, Hardy, Steiner and Morgan. Morgan throws Hardy to the apron but not out as Steiner lays on Orton in the middle of the ring.

Booker T. is in at #11 to a nice reaction but also to a really annoying song. An ax kick has Orton in trouble and Steiner is thrown out off camera (in his last match with the company) as Kane is in at #12. Benoit and Morgan both get chokeslams and the Gore and RKO are both blocked. Kane starts beating on Matt in the corner…..and a gong strikes at #13. As expected, Kane freaks out and the distraction lets Booker throw him out. It’s actually Spike Dudley in at #13 so Kane beats him up in the aisle, both for the gong and for Spike upsetting Kane on Monday. Things settle down and it’s Rikishi in at #14.

Benoit dumps Rhyno and Orton gets a Stinkface as the fans aren’t exactly interested, probably due to the gong taking some of their interest away. They’re certainly not burning up the pace for eliminations here but that’s not the worst thing in the world. Rene Dupree is in at #15 to get us to the halfway point. He dropkicks Hardy out but turns into a superkick from Rikishi to get eliminated as well.

A-Tran is in at #16 and goes after Rikishi as Benoit ducks Morgan’s charge to get rid of him. Orton dumps out Rikishi and Booker in the span of a few seconds, leaving us with Benoit, Orton and A-Train. Benoit eliminates A-Train as Shelton Benjamin is in at #17. Benjamin slugs away as JR completely missed A-Train’s elimination. How do you not notice the 6’8 350lb bald guy being gone? Orton dumps Shelton and we’re down to two again. To be fair, other than Kane and maybe Booker, none of the other entrants are worth anything so far. Lamont runs out to introduce Ernest Miller at #18 and Tazz loves the song.

Benoit tosses Lamont and Orton does the same to Miller so these two can keep slugging it out. Kurt Angle is in at #19 and now things can pick up a bit. Benoit and Angle go at it (of course) while Orton is smart enough to just chill in the corner. Angle has Benoit in trouble on the ropes but Orton makes a rather questionable save. Rico is in at #20 and goes after Orton, who dropkicks him almost immediately. A kick to the head rocks Orton though, leaving Benoit to roll some German suplexes on Angle. Orton dumps Rico with ease and it’s Test…..not in at #21.

We cut to the back where Test is unconscious. Austin sees who did it and makes that person #21 instead. In the arena, MICK FOLEY is #21 and Orton knows he’s about to die. Foley slugs him down in the corner, throws up a BANG BANG and hits the running knee in the corner. The Cactus Clothesline gives us a double elimination and it’s down to Benoit vs. Angle. Foley isn’t done with Orton and sends him into the steps as Christian is in at #22.

Orton gets in a few wicked chair shots to Foley and punches him down before slamming Foley’s head into the ramp. Some right hands get Foley out of trouble and it’s Mr. Socko but Foley has to give it to Nunzio, who comes in at #23. The distraction lets Orton get in a low blow and run off after a great angle that makes me want to see these two have a heck of a fight. Back in the ring, Christian can’t get rid of Angle or Benoit so Angle suplexes Benoit instead. Benoit is the only one standing as Big Show is in at #24.

Show starts fast with the overhand chops and throws some Canadians around until Chris Jericho is in at #25 to a very nice reaction. Jericho and Christian stomp on Angle in the corner until Show makes a save with a double noggin knocker. How old school of him. Everyone goes after Show so he shrugs them off and Charlie Haas is in at #26. Christian tries to turn on Jericho but gets dumped out instead, which just fits for Christian for some reason. Billy Gunn returns at #27 and hits some Fameassers but can’t get rid of anyone.

John Cena is in at #28 to a very nice reaction and you can feel the star power growing every night. Cena catches Nunzio sitting on the floor and throws him inside as the ring is starting to get too full. For some reason Nunzio goes after Show, earning himself that hard shot to the back. Rob Van Dam is in at #29 and can’t get rid of Show either. Cena gives Angle an FU and here’s Goldberg in at #30 to complete the field. I’m not going to bother saying who all is in there because we’re about to lose a bunch of them.

Goldberg wrecks everyone and tosses Haas, Gunn and Nunzio (after an insane spear). That leaves us with Benoit, Angle, Show, Jericho, Cena, Van Dam and Goldberg for a heck of a final group. Goldberg loads up the Jackhammer on Show but here’s Lesnar to jump him from behind, allowing Angle to dump Goldberg, who is busy seething at Lesnar. Show shrugs off the masses again but Angle chop blocks him, which isn’t the brightest idea. That means a Lionsault, a Five Star, a Shuffle and a Swan Dive but Show is unconscious on the mat. Real smart guys.

Show fights up and dumps Cena, who lands VERY awkwardly on his knee. Van Dam is gone too and we’re down to Jericho, Big Show, Angle and Benoit. Jericho goes after Show’s knee and bulldogs Show now, which has done so well against him already. The Walls make Show tap but Jericho lets him go. That’s not the brightest move in the world and Show makes him pay with a chokeslam over the top for an elimination. A regular chokeslam drops Benoit so Angle gets the Angle Slam on Show.

Benoit gets one as well and now it’s the ankle lock to make Show tap again. Show gets up and muscles Angle out as well, leaving us with two. With Show hanging over the top rope, Benoit hits the Swan Dive to the back of his head, accidentally bringing Show back in. The chokeslam is countered into the Crossface to make Show tap for the third time.

A side slam gets Show out of trouble as we hear about Benoit getting close to Ric Flair’s longevity record. Show loads up a gorilla press but Benoit pulls him down into a guillotine, even as Show puts him on the apron. Benoit pulls him down and slides back inside as Show goes out, giving Benoit the big win.

Rating: A. It’s one of the best Rumbles ever, mainly due to Benoit. There was some great storytelling near the end, with Jericho and Angle both making Show tap but then making some kind of a mistake to get eliminated while Benoit was smart/determined enough to make it work in the end. The same thing happens when the big groups try to get Show out and Benoit does it on his own, showing how technique and determination are better than brute strength. It kept you wondering if Benoit could finally win the big one and that’s what they managed to pull off in a great story throughout the whole match.

Other than that, they did a great job of not letting the ring get too full save for near the end, which Goldberg took care of in short order. Pacing is often such a problem in these things and it’s very nice to see them get it right. They had a big angle with Foley and Orton too, giving it something besides the winner to go off of from here. Finally, there were multiple possible winners, which always makes for a better match than having one or two people be the only ones who could win. Great Rumble, and one of the best of all time.

JR loses it praising Benoit, who smiles (a rare thing for him) to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. The Rumble is always a unique show as it’s the only one where one match can really save the whole thing, as the main event is often at least a third of the show. The problem is the rest of the show was so bad due to the matches either being rushed or being HHH vs. Shawn in their annual attempt at an epic match that it’s hard to call this good overall. Really though, the Rumble itself is more than enough to carry it, but on any other card of the year this would have been a disaster.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/23/royal-rumble-count-up-2004-he-who-must-not-be-named/

And the 2013 redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/01/18/royal-rumble-count-up-2013-redo-2004-they-couldnt-wait-any-longer/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the NXT The Full Sail Years Volume III (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/05/25/new-book-nxt-the-full-sail-years-from-dallas-to-new-orleans/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Royal Rumble 2003 (2017 Redo): Was I In A Bad Mood Last Time?

Royal Rumble 2003
Date: January 19, 2003
Location: Fleet Center, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 15,338
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

The opening video is your standard montage of wrestlers talking about what it means to go to Wrestlemania because the road starts tonight.

Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar

Chris Jericho is ready to win the Rumble and gets his World Title back at Wrestlemania.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. William Regal/Lance Storm

Nathan Jones vignette.

Dawn Marie vs. Torrie Wilson

Dawn is in regular ring gear and a black veil, which makes her look more like Jimmy Jack Funk (from the neck up) than anything else. Dawn elbows her in the face at the bell but Torrie takes her down as well as these two are going to be able to do. Torrie gets caught in a Fujiwara armbar as the announcers cover the story in detail. Well the recent part at least as basically everything after Armageddon has been forgotten at this point.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Scott Steiner

Back in and Steiner charges into a boot to the face before being sent into the steps for good measure. HHH stomps and chokes in the corner with Flair adding choking of his own. Another neckbreaker gets two for the champ and you can see how winded Steiner already is. Flair chokes on the ropes again to fill in as much time as possible before Steiner reverses the Pedigree.

Smackdown World Title: Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle

Royal Rumble

Ratings Comparison

Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: D

2013 Redo: C+

2017 Redo: D+

Dudley Boyz vs. William Regal/Lance Storm

Original: C

2013 Redo: D

2017 Redo: C-

Dawn Marie vs. Torrie Wilson

Original: DD

2013 Redo: D-

2017 Redo: F

Scott Steiner vs. HHH

Original: G-

2013 Redo: H (For HHH)

Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A+

2017 Redo: A+

Royal Rumble

Original: B

2013 Redo: B-

2017 Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: B-

2013 Redo: C-

2017 Redo: B-

This is a rare instance where the original is much closer to the new ratings than the first redo. Maybe I was in a bad mood that day?

You can read the original review here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/22/royal-rumble-count-up-2003-best-match-ever/

And the 2013 redo here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/01/16/royal-rumble-count-up-2013-redo-2003-best-of-both-worlds-and-a-boring-rumble/

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/05/19/history-of-saturday-nights-main-event-and-clash-of-the-champions-now-in-paperback-plus-price-drops/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Royal Rumble Count-Up: 2013 Redo – 2002: He’s Back And There’s Not A Thing We Can Do About It

Royal Rumble 2002
Date: January 20, 2002
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 12,915
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Tag Titles: Spike Dudley/Tazz vs. Dudley Boys

We immediately go to a recap of Regal vs. Edge which is based on Regal using brass knuckles over and over again. Edge got fed up with it and beat up a lot of people with a chair.

Intercontinental Title: Edge vs. William Regal

Ric Flair vs. Vince McMahon

No highlight package for the world title match? For those of you not around in 2002 (LUCKY!), Jericho won the title in December, beating Rock along the way. It makes sense for Rock to get the first shot, especially since they feuded over the end of the year.

WWF World Title: The Rock vs. Chris Jericho

Shawn Michaels, in a really stupid looking Texas flag shirt, is at WWF New York. He picks Taker or Austin to win the Rumble.

Video on the Rumble. The main picks to win are Taker, HHH, Angle and Austin.

Royal Rumble

Scotty gets in and walks into a DDT as DDP is #14. Nothing of note continues to happen until Scotty superkicks Page through the ropes to the floor and hits the Worm on Christian. Page sneaks back in and throws Scotty out as Chuck is #15. They all beat on each other for a bit with Christian and Chuck teaming up for a bit. Godfather, now the owner of an escort service in an attempt to salvage the gimmick, is #16 and brings out 12 good looking women with him. Page is eliminated off camera during this.

Ratings Comparison

Spike Dudley/Tazz vs. Billy and Chuck

Original: C-

Redo: D+

William Regal vs. Edge

Original: C-

Redo: D+

Trish Stratus vs. Jazz

Original: D+

Redo: D

Ric Flair vs. Vince McMahon

Original: D+

Redo: C+

Chris Jericho vs. The Rock

Original: B+

Redo: B

Royal Rumble

Original: C-

Redo: C+

Overall Rating

Original: B-

Redo: B-

Yep, about the same for the most part here.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/21/royal-rumble-count-up-2002-game-on/

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