Smackdown – September 30, 1999: It’s Short But It’s Long

Smackdown
Date: September 30, 1999
Location: Richmond Coliseum, Richmond, Virginia
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole

We’re coming off an all time Raw segment with This Is Your Life Rock, which is not likely to mean much around here. Instead, we’re likely going to be hearing more about the British Bulldog costing the Rock his WWF Title shot and then attacking champion HHH. That should be enough for the big story as we’re coming up on No Mercy as well. Let’s get to it.

Here is Monday Night Raw if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Chris Jericho vs. Road Dogg

Billy Gunn is here with the Dogg and Mr. Hughes is here with Jericho. The bell rings and they brawl into the crowd as the Hollys join commentary. Dogg sends him back to ringside for a whip into the steps and hammers away inside. The referee doesn’t like the violence and gets tossed to the floor, which is enough for Dogg to get disqualified.

Post match Gunn throws in a table and Dogg tries to put Jericho through it (as payback for an attack a few weeks ago). The Hollys jump him from behind though and Dogg gets put through the table again.

Vince McMahon isn’t happy with HHH and fines him $25,000 for his actions on Raw. In addition, he’s going to defend the WWF Title against the British Bulldog TONIGHT. Oh and The Rock will be the guest referee.

Here is Mankind (in the Rock N Sock Connection jacket) for a chat. He talks about This Is Your Life Rock and thanks the DOZENS AND DOZENS of fans for making it work. There is one person who messed it up by taking something that didn’t belong to him though, so Val Venis needs to get out here.

Cue Venis, who says hurry up because he has two beautiful women in the back and it isn’t his birthday. Mankind: “Val, I know what you’ve got in your pants and I want it.” Actually he needs it, which has Venis rather confused. Mankind is willing to turn his back so just whip it out and give it to him. Cole: “This is your life Mick Foley!” Venis says he doesn’t swing that way so Mankind describes it (Cole: “MICK THIS IS NETWORK TV!”) and says put it in his hand or he’ll put it in Venis’ mouth.

Venis didn’t know Mankind was like this but he doesn’t putt from that side of the green. Mankind has no idea what that means, but we see the GTV segment of Venis taking Mr. Rocko out of the trash and putting it in his pants. Venis realizes he got caught but says it was a joke for all the boys in the back. Mankind says neither he nor the Rock appreciates that and he goes for Venis’ pants. Venis bails and offers to go get the sock for him (thankfully acknowledging that he’s changed his pants since Monday). Mankind is a bizarre man but he can somehow make this stuff work.

HHH and Chyna are looking for Vince McMahon. During the break they find Vince and Shane, with HHH saying Vince is trying to find ways to screw him every week. HHH will find new ways around it ever week too.

The Rock thinks this show has turned into Let’s Make A Deal and Vince McMahon is Monty Hall. He’s fine with being the guest referee tonight and be completely unbiased because HHH can put his nose….oh you know by now.

Edge and Christian vs. New Brood

Gangrel is here with the New Brood and this is the first match in the Terri Runnels Invitational Tournament. Cue Terri Runnels to join commentary as Lawler thinks this should be called the Ryder Cup, which takes some time for Cole to get. The camera stays on Terri and Lawler for a bit as Terri explains the tournament: it’s really a best of five series for her managerial services and $100,000.

Jeff knocks Christian down and it’s off to Matt for a suplex into the Swanton for two (that’s so weird to see). Christian and Matt collide for a double down and Edge comes in to clean house. The Downward Spiral drops Matt for two as Lawler tries to say the tournament’s name without sounding dirty. Matt is knocked outside and a Doomsday suplex gives Christian the pin on Jeff to go up 1-0.

Rating: B-. They didn’t have much time here but these guys work well together every time. It’s so interesting to see their early days as they’re figuring things out and Gangrel is little more than window dressing for the Hardys. Things would get a lot better and you can see the fire in all of their eyes, which is making for a promising future.

The British Bulldog is ready for the main event and wants Rock to stay out of his way.

Mankind explains the Mr. Rocko/Val Venis situation but Rock isn’t sure who Rocko or Venis are. Mankind promises to figure this out to keep the Connection alive, with Rock telling him to go do it.

European Title: Big Show vs. D’Lo Brown

Brown is defending and Droz/Prince Albert are on commentary. Show throws him down and hits a suplex as Droz is complaining about “the bookers in the back” holding himself and Albert back. Brown fights up and hits a top rope clothesline to actually drop Show. The Low Down gets two as Albert gets up to watch from ringside. Droz distracts Brown as Albert goes up and dropkicks Show for the DQ.

Post match Brown gets beaten down again until Mark Henry runs in to chase Droz off. Brown leaves Henry again, with Henry saying they need to talk. With Brown gone, Henry talks about various addictions and says he has one of them. The reality is he’s a sex addict and it’s not a joke. He’s lost friends, family, his fiance, and a lot of money as a result of this. Now his mom has to see this, along with the people who know him. Henry starts crying and talks about how he can’t stop thinking about sex. It’s time to get some professional help and he walks off. Well that’s just depressing.

Stephanie McMahon and Test look through bridal magazines. Well Test wants to watch the game but he’s there too.

X-Pac/Kane vs. Acolytes vs. Dudley Boyz

Elimination tag for the #1 contendership and Bubba Ray has stolen the Rock’s Rock N Sock Connection jacket. We cut to the back where Stevie Richards shows Mankind about the stolen jacket before cutting back to Kane beating up D-Von. Bradshaw comes in for a boot to Kane’s mask but Kane hits a running DDT.

X-Pac comes in and gets taken down with a fall away slam, only to spin kick Faarooq in the face. The Acolytes double team X-Pac…and that’s a DQ. X-Pac kicks Bubba down and it’s off to Kane for the top rope clothesline on D-Von. Everything breaks down and it’s a Bronco Buster to Bubba, followed by the chokeslam to pin D-Von.

Rating: C. This didn’t have time to do much and, as usual, there was a lot going on in a single match. You had the stolen jacket, the referees being all aggressive, the stuff in the back, and the match itself. That’s all crammed into about five minutes and that’s not much time to get that much going. As usual, it would be better to just slow things down a bit, but that’s not how this era worked.

During the break, Mankind asks Bubba Ray about the jacket and tells him to come get it. He calls Mankind a freak and leaves, with Mankind not being pleased. Granted he doesn’t do anything about it, but he isn’t happy.

Here are Jeff Jarrett and Miss Kitty to say that the match with Chyna is going to be the Good Housekeeping match. That means he’s going to get to beat Chyna up with any household item he can find. Jarrett is ready to demonstrate to any woman around and calls out Cindy Margolis (who he attacked a few weeks ago), who is sitting in the crowd. He challenges Margolis and fellow actress Heather Kozar (on the upcoming UPN show Shasta McNasty) to a handicap match but here are all the women that Jarrett has attacked.

Jarrett challenges all of them and Miss Kitty doesn’t think this is a great idea. Jarrett beats up Fabulous Moolah and Mae Young but here is Chyna to make the save. The women proceed to beat the fire out of Jarrett with brooms, frying pans and everything else they can find, eventually chasing him to the back (that is so, so Memphis). Moolah and Mae jump Lawler, whose face is hilarious as he tries to get away.

Mankind admits to Rock that he misplaced the jacket, which has Rock annoyed but he’ll wear a Versace shirt instead. Mankind: “Don’t wear Versace! Don’t wear Versace!”

We actually talk to the head of security, with interviewer Terry Taylor saying this is an odd choice. He’s not happy with Steve Blackman attacking him, and then Blackman attacks him again. Yep, kind of obvious there.

Here is Mankind to call out Bubba Ray Dudley to give him the jacket back so here are the Dudleys…and I guess this is a match.

Mankind vs. Bubba Ray Dudley

I think? D-Von was in at the bell but then drops out as Val Venis is here with Mr. Rocko. Stevie Richards (dressed as Dude Love) comes in with a Stevie Kick to Bubba, who takes the jacket back. Mankind says he wants Rocko back so Venis gets in the ring (I’m assuming the match is over).

Venis says that he owes a lot of his career to Mankind doing the things he has done, like flying off of a Cell. Therefore, he’ll give Venis Rocko back, but he wants Mankind to close his eyes first. Then he grabs a testicular claw to take Mankind down. Stevie Richards comes in for a failed save and the Dudleys beat both of them up and DESTROY THE JACKET. Venis keeps cranking on Mankind and leaves him laying as the Dudleys leave. As usual, this worked because while the jacket is stupid, it means something to Mankind and that makes it matter.

WWF Title: HHH vs. British Bulldog

HHH is defending and The Rock is guest referee. Rock jumps Bulldog before HHH comes out so HHH is fine with stomping away on Bulldog on the floor. The bell rings and HHH covers, but Rock is looking at the crowd. HHH yells so Bulldog hits him low (Rock doesn’t care) and we see Steve Austin watching in the back. They fight to the floor as Rock jumps in on commentary.

Bulldog drops HHH on the ramp and they get back inside (Rock too) where the powerslam is countered. The Pedigree connects but Rock applauds rather than cover. Rock gives HHH the Rock Bottom and gets back on commentary. Bulldog covers and Rock counts two before saying it doesn’t matter if he counts three. Rock hits them both with the belt and stomps away before laying them out. This includes a People’s Elbow with Rock sliding across the mat without leaving his feet, which WWE hyped up as amazing and….not really? Rock leaves with the title and HHH is confused.

Rating: C. I’m not sure what to say about a match like this as it wasn’t about the match itself (obviously) and was more of a chance for Rock to play to the crowd. It worked well in that sense, but otherwise it was just five minutes of waiting for it to end, which is pretty much what happened. Not bad, but also barely a match.

We go to the back where Rock jumps HHH but gets jumped by the Bulldog, leaving HHH with the belt. Then Austin is waiting in HHH’s locker room and jumps him to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a special ninety minute episode for the sake of the Shasta McNasty (it didn’t last) pilot so they were a bit rushed. That being said, you still got a funny bit with Mankind and Venis, plus Edge and Christian vs. the Hardys. As was often the case around this time, things were moving very fast, but the show was still entertaining. Now it’s on to No Mercy, with some of the bigger matches already set, so things are looking in the right direction.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – September 27, 1999: This Is Your Life Rock

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 27, 1999
Location: Greensboro Coliseum, Greensboro, North Carolina
Attendance: 10,369
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re back to the chaotic days again and HHH is once again the WWF Champion, having won the Six Pack Challenge last night at Unforgiven. Steve Austin is not happy with this result and is apparently next up the new champion, which isn’t likely to go well. The rest of the main event scene has to fall out from there as well so let’s get to it.

Here is Unforgiven if you need a recap.

We open with some stills from the Unforgiven main event.

Earlier today, Vince McMahon negotiated a deal to end the referee strike. Thank goodness. They’re also allowed to be more firm with the wrestlers.

Opening sequence.

Here are HHH and Chyna for the big celebration. HHH doesn’t care what the fans think and they can kiss his a** every time he holds the title in the air. Last night he proved that he is the Game and no one is in his league. The best part of it all though was Steve Austin himself having to count the three on the Rock. It doesn’t stop there Austin, because he is next.

Cue the British Bulldog, who tells the Game Boy that they had a deal, saying that if either of them won the title, the other would get the first title shot on Raw. Bulldog wants the title tonight, but HHH makes it clear: he lied. That’s fine for Bulldog, who says he’s taking HHH out one way or another tonight. HHH says screw you, which doesn’t surprise Bulldog so he spears HHH down. Chyna makes the save and HHH gets in a low blow but the referees break it up. Cue Vince McMahon to say HHH will defend the title tonight…against the Rock.

We look back at Fabulous Moolah attacking Ivory.

Jeff Jarrett talks to Tom Pritchard about something.

Mick Foley is here….with balloons and someone under a sheet. Oh boy.

Stephanie McMahon and Test go tuxedo shopping.

Here are Jeff Jarrett, Miss Kitty, and Tom Pritchard for a chat. Jarrett says that Debra and Chyna were completely out of line last night so he wants a men vs. women tag match tonight.

Big Show vs. Chris Jericho

Before the match, Jericho, with Mr. Hughes, brags about ending Ken Shamrock’s WWF career because he is a bad mamma jamma. Now it’s time to rid the WWF of its biggest waste of sperm. Jericho comes right at him and is promptly thrown down as Prince Albert joins commentary. Hughes offers a distraction and Jericho gets in a boot to the head. Show powers out of that with ease and loads up the chokeslam but Albert gets on top for the DQ. Who is DQ’d for someone just getting on the top? I can’t imagine it matters.

Albert dropkicks Show but here is Road Dogg to go after Jarrett.

Mankind is talking to whomever is under the sheet when Stevie Richards, dressed as Dude Love, comes in to say he is one of the dozens. Mankind is more worried about losing royalties.

Chyna warns Tom Pritchard to stay out of things.

Here is Steve Austin to a chat. He doesn’t have a problem with the Rock, but there is no reason for him to get the title shot over Austin. Therefore, he wants Vince McMahon out here RIGHT NOW for an explanation. Cue Vince, who thanks Austin for reinstating him and yes Austin was promised a title shot, but he was never told WHEN. Vince gives him the title shot at No Mercy and after clarifying what Vince said, Austin says that better wind up being true.

GTV shows the Mean Street Posse throwing out I believe Terri after, ahem, activities, though Pete Gas isn’t happy.

European Title: Steve Blackman vs. D’Lo Brown

Brown is defending, having won the title last night. Droz comes out to do commentary as Brown kicks Blackman down and hits a Stunner over the top. They go outside and Blackman hits him with the kendo stick for the DQ after less than two minutes.

Post match Blackman uses the stick to beat up a security guard (the one who tackled him at Unforgiven) and Droz stomps on Brown. Then he vomits on him. Mark Henry comes out to check on Brown, who isn’t interested in listening.

During the break, Mankind ran into Steve Austin who did not seem impressed with the balloons.

Here is Mankind, with the balloons and gifts, but minus the person under the sheet. Mankind apologizes for attacking Rock last night and hopes that the Rock N Sock Connection can go on for years. First of all, he’d like Rock to come out here, or he’ll accept that the team is dead. Cue the Rock, who has a title match tonight so he wants to know why he’s here. Mankind: “This is big Rock. This is important. In fact, THIS IS YOUR LIFE!” JR: “What?”

Some fireworks go off and…nothing happens, though apparently a big poster of the Rock was supposed to come down but it didn’t work. Balloons and confetti go off and Mankind has a voice ask if “Dwayne” would like to answer a question. This brings out the first guest: Rock’s former home economics teacher (ignore that the name Mankind gives doesn’t match the chyron, which also says she’s an English teacher), who would have been the first to smell what the Rock was cooking.

Rock asks if she remembers how much he liked to make pancakes (JR: “Uh oh.”). Instead though, he had to make cookies and muffins, but FINALLY, right before summer vacation, he was allowed to make pancakes. But unfortunately, she was all out of Aunt Jemima. Rock asks if she still likes to bake break and if she knows her rolls. Well then she should know your roll, shut your mouth and check her Aunt Jemima, no pancake having a** directly into the Smackdown Hotel. The teacher (whatever her name is) leaves and Mankind has another surprise.

Next up is Rock’s high school football coach, but Rock won’t shake his hand. Rock brings up the last game of the season where he made a big sack and then DDT’d the quarterback. The coach made him run sprints in front of all the fans, which wasn’t nice. Rock asks if coach will blow his whistle one more time…and then do something special with it (Lawler: “Oh no.”). After telling coach where the whistle can go, Rock tells him to leave and even Mankind agrees.

Rock tells Mankind to get on with it so Mankind teases saying the MILLIONS. Rock: “Don’t you ever do that.” We get the real version and then Mankind brings out Rock’s high school girlfriend. Rock won’t let her hug him but does bring up various nights on her parents’ couch with various levels of physical involvement. She would tell him to “go for second base” but then stopped him. Rock: “YOU CUT THE ROCK OFF ON SECOND BASE!”

Now she wants to go one on one with the Great One and serve him a piece of that p******* pie? Lawler is DONE off that line. That’s not happening either so she can get out of here. With nothing else working, Mankind says he didn’t know it would go this badly but stop! They are chanting his name.

Mankind apologizes for how bad the guests have been, but it’s time for the people’s presents! First up: matching Rock and Sock jackets (and yes, their names are on the front). That’s not it though, because we have MR. ROCKO! And yes, Mankind does the voice for the whole thing. Finally though, it’s time for whomever is underneath the sheet (who came down at some point). That would in fact be….YURPLE THE CLOWN!

She gives Rock an IYQ sticker (read it out loud) and even Rock doesn’t know what to say. Finally, Rock asks her name, which of course doesn’t matter. Mankind says it DOES matter because he went through a lot of effort and expense to make this nice. Rock has insulted everyone and sometimes Mankind finds him to be a very ungrateful little man. It matters because Yurple is going to lead Greensboro in a birthday singalong.

Yurple sings and a cake is wheeled down, complete with candles. Rock says he appreciates his fans, but his birthday is May 2 “you stupid son of a b****.” Mankind: “It’s just that for some reason, every day I get to spend a little time with you feels like, like somebody’s birthday.” Before Rock has to find a way around that one, HHH runs out with the sledgehammer, which sends Rock and Mankind running. HHH pops some balloons to blow off some steam.

I’ve seen this a bunch of times over the years and I appreciate it more every time. This is the kind of segment that could not have worked with anyone else because Rock could get away with being such a jerk and Mankind was just so lovable that he pulled it off. It went on for about twenty five minutes and it is basically one long continuous joke that works throughout.

The whole point is how stupid it is but these two have such amazing chemistry that it somehow worked. Mankind screwing everything up, including not even having Rock’s birthday right, was great and I still remember watching this live and quoting it for years. I wasn’t the only one either, as this is still the highest rated non-match in WWF history and a mind blowing nine million viewers.

Granted it went nearly 12 minutes over and Vince yelled at both of them, only to then see the numbers and back off in a hurry. Does it build to anything? Not in the slightest, and that’s not an issue in the slightest here. Still an all time classic and one of the most perfectly put together ridiculous things you’ll ever see in wrestling.

Here are the New Age Outlaws, with Road Dogg saying they’re tired of not being respected. The open challenge is on and we see the Hollys getting ready to accept. That’s not how it goes though.

Tag Team Titles: New Age Outlaws vs. Kane/X-Pac

The Outlaws are defending. X-Pac and Dogg shake hands to start and Dogg grabs a headlock as the Hollys come down to do commentary. Hardcore isn’t happy with not getting a shot as Kane comes in and gets pummeled in the corner by Gunn. Kane boots Gunn in the face (that’s a long reach) but Dogg breaks up a chokeslam. Everything breaks down and the Hollys come in to jump the Outlaws for the fast DQ.

Post match the Hollys get quadruple teamed out.

Fabulous Moolah and Mae Young are here to teach Ivory to respect her elders.

Ivory vs. Fabulous Moolah/Mae Young

Non-title Evening Gown match and Jerry Lawler is worried. Young takes Ivory down to start but gets flipped over by her boa. Ivory goes for the dress and gets slammed, with Young covering because the instincts are still there. Back up and Ivory manages to get Young’s dress off and sends her outside, only for Moolah to drop Ivory. Moolah easily strips Ivory for the win.

GTV sees Val Venis find Mr. Rocko in the trash and put it in his jeans.

Jeff Jarrett/Tom Pritchard vs. Chyna/Debra

Hold on though as Chyna says she’ll only do the match if she gets a title shot at No Mercy for winning. Debra opens her top to distract Pritchard and Jarrett Figure Fours Chyna. Miss Kitty gets in for a catfight with Debra, leaving Pritchard to hit Chyna with the guitar…and she falls on Jarrett for the win in just over a minute. Well that’s dumb.

WWF Title: The Rock vs. HHH

HHH is defending and Steve Austin is on commentary. HHH hammers him into the corner to start fast but gets tossed over the corner for his efforts. The fight is quickly taken into the crowd and then back to ringside…and then back into the crowd. They get back inside for a change with Rock in control but he walks into the facebuster.

The Pedigree is countered with a catapult into the corner and Rock grabs a Samoan drop. Rock clotheslines him to the floor but gets dropped onto the announcers’ table. HHH grabs a chair and the referee gets shoved down before yelling at Austin. The Stunner into a Rock Bottom plants HHH…but British Bulldog runs in for the DQ.

Rating: C-. The match was just a big brawl until the ending segment, which is fine enough, but it’s a bit disappointing to see it go this way. At the same time, they weren’t exactly hiding that the Bulldog was going to get involved here as it’s pretty basic storytelling, but after a night of nothing matches, having one regular match would have been nice.

Bulldog powerslams HHH to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This is a hard one to rate, as the show is the usual fast paced Attitude Era insanity, but there’s that big segment in the middle which is so out of nowhere and goes so well that the rest doesn’t really matter. They started getting ready for No Mercy and barely touched on Unforgiven outside of the main event, but that only means so much when a third of the show is built around one thing. Good show overall, though there’s probably a lot of nostalgia in there.

 

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Summerslam 2025 Night Two: The Great Carry Job

Summerslam 2025 Night Two
Date: August 3, 2025
Location: MetLife Stadium, East Rutherford, New Jersey
Commentators: Michael Cole, Wade Barrett

We’re back for the second half of the show after yesterday’s pretty snazzy first half. In this case we’re headlined by Cody Rhodes challenging John Cena for the Smackdown World Title. Cena seems to have seen the light again and that could make for a big change of pace. Other than that, Solo Sikoa is defending the US Title against Jacob Fatu in a cage. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening video looks at last night’s highlights, along with that Druski guy talking about how this is another chance to shake up the world. The regular opening video again features various reaction shots.

Here’s HHH to fire up the crowd with a “you ain’t seen nothing yet”.

Raw Women’s Title: Rhea Ripley vs. Iyo Sky vs. Naomi

Naomi is defending and is played to the ring by….her dad. Well that’s awesome. Naomi drops to the floor to start but is thrown back inside and surrounded. Ripley kicks Sky in the face by mistake so Naomi drops Sky across the top and bites Ripley’s thumb for a change of pace. A hanging X Factor drops Sky and Ripley gets knocked into the corner. The Blockbuster puts Sky down and Naomi sends her outside.

Ripley is back up with a belly to back faceplant to Naomi and Sky is back up with the springboard missile dropkick. Sky’s 619 into a German suplex sends Naomi outside and it’s time for the big showdown. Sky small packages Ripley into a quickly broken crossface, followed by a poisonrana. Naomi is back in and goes to the floor with Ripley, allowing Sky to Asai moonsault both of them.

Back in and Sky’s Over The Moonsault is broken up so Sky goes up again and hits Ripley. Naomi rolls Sky up for two and everyone is down. Ripley is back up for Riptide on Naomi, with Sky making the save. Sky and Ripley kick Naomi out to the floor before Ripley flip dives onto Naomi on the floor. Sky follows them outside and powerbombs Ripley onto Naomi for the nasty landing. Back in and Ripley catches Sky on top for a super Riptide, only for Naomi to come in and roll Ripley up with trunks for the pin at 16:23.

Rating: B. Good start to the show here, as Ripley’s frustrations continue to mount. At the same time, Naomi has been on a roll as of late and it’s great to see her getting a chance like this. She’s won me over in recent months and that’s a nice feeling. Ripley might have to do something drastic soon and I’m not sure how that’s going to go. As for Sky…well she’s Iyo Sky, which is quite the praise.

The Dudleys and Hardy Boyz are here for the TLC match.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Wyatt Sicks vs. DIY vs. Andrade/Rey Fenix vs. Motor City Machine Guns vs. Street Profits vs. Fraxiom

The Wyatts are defending in a TLC match. The challengers jump the Wyatts to start and it’s time for the parade of dives to the floor. Fraxiom brings in a ladder, with the Guns picking it up, only to have it dropkicked back against them. The Wyatts cut Fraxiom off from climbing and go up, with the Profits making the save. The Profits backdrop Gacy at a ladder….but completely miss it, so they try it again to make sure they get it right (nice reaction for that).

Some more tables are set up at ringside but Andrade and Fenix come in, with Fenix climbing onto Andrade’s shoulders and touching the belts (the fans are impressed). That’s broken up and it’s time to set up a bunch of tables around ringside. Lumis dives onto Ford and then Fenix hits a dive of his own through Fraser. Dawkins goes up but gets taken down by Axiom’s super Spanish Fly through some tables.

With everyone else down, Candice LeRae, B Fab and Nikki Cross go up for the belts but get pulled back down. LeRae goes up again and gets knocked down through a bridged ladder for a terrifying crash (her knee looked like it landed badly). Gargano goes up but gets pulled down by Ford, with Rowan coming in to kick him in the face. Rowan cleans house until the Profits send him through a table in the corner.

Ciampa goes up but the Guns move the ladder. Frazer tries a spear off the ladder but Ciampa pulls himself up onto the belts to send Frazer crashing (that was NUTS). DIY goes up but Uncle Howdy comes in to shove them both down, with DIY going crashing through a pile of tables at ringside. Fraser goes up but gets caught in Howdy’s Mandible Claw. Andrade dives up with a sunset bomb to bring him back down but the other Wyatts go up, with Gacy pulling down the titles to win at 16:03.

Rating: B. This was a total spectacle and stunt show, with that Ciampa sit up spot being an all time highlight. At the same time, this didn’t have the flow of the classic TLC match from earlier this year, partially due to how many people were involved. This one felt more like it was about going viral than having a great match and the segment in the middle where people dove off the posts to the floor summed up the issue. While they were getting ready to dive, the ring was empty and a ladder was set up. Why was no one going for the belts? Yes it’s a spotfest, but at least try to look like you want to win.

We look at Seth Rollins cashing in last night….in various languages.

We recap Lyra Valkyria vs. Becky Lynch for the Women’s Intercontinental Title. They won the Women’s Tag Team Titles at Wrestlemania but lost them on the following Raw. Lynch turned on her and then won the Intercontinental Title while basically saying she used Valkyria as a stepping stone. Now it’s Valkyria’s last chance and anything goes. There’s also the Bayley factor, as she isn’t happy with being left out of Summerslam.

Women’s Intercontinental Title: Becky Lynch vs. Lyra Valkyria

Anything goes, Lynch is defending and she comes out to new music. Valkyria knocks her outside to start but Lynch takes over, allowing her to whip out a kendo stick. Valkyria isn’t worried as she comes out with a metal crowbar, which knocks the stick away. A crossbody off the barricade drops Lynch and Valkyria sends her…well right into a photographer actually. That doesn’t seem to do much damage as Valkyria sends Lynch into the post and then over the announcers’ table.

A table is pulled out but Lynch uses the delay to whip out a chain. Said chain is wrapped around Valkyria’s mouth as commentary gets into it about whether Valkyria is a threat to Lynch without having beaten her. Cole: “She has beaten her.” Lynch knocks her down again and grabs a toolbox, with a hard shot getting two. Lynch finds a zip tie in the toolbox and ties Valkyria’s hands together so the beating can continue.

The chairs are loaded up…but Valkyria slips her arms around Lynch and gets a belly to belly. Valkyria gets back up (ignore the camera showing the zip tie coming undone and having to be reset) and manages a moonsault with her hands tied together. The turnbuckle pad is taken off but Lynch sends her to the floor, where Valkyria (hands still tied) comes out with a fire extinguisher blast. Valkyria uses the edge of the fire extinguisher handle to cut herself free and unloads with a kendo stick.

A fisherman’s suplex gets two and they go back outside, with Valkyria hitting Nightwing off the stairs for a nasty crash. Back in and Valkyria misses a charge into the exposed buckle, setting up a Manhandle Slam onto some open chairs….for two. Lynch ties her up in a chair and kicks away, including ramming Valkyria into the announcers’ table.

Lynch grabs the crowbar but cue Bayley to take it away and beat on Lynch around ringside. Bayley misses a running knee but Valkyria is back up with a legdrop to send Lynch through a table. Back in and both finishes are countered…and Bayley accidentally knocks Valkyria silly with a chain. The Manhandle Slam finishes for Lynch at 25:07.

Rating: C+. On one hand, this was a heck of a fight with some creative spots and Valkyria getting to show off some incredible athleticism when her hands were tied. It also helps that despite here interference being pretty obvious, it didn’t feel like a countdown until Bayley showed up. At the same time though, MY GOODNESS this did not need to be so long. It’s a great example of a match that could have been ten minutes shorter and improved as a result. That’s on top of the main event being a street fight, with this one making that one feel less unique. Good parts to it, but it desperately needed some cuts.

We recap Solo Sikoa defending the US Title against Jacob Fatu in a cage. They were close, then Fatu turned on him because he was tired of Sikoa taking advantage of him. Sikoa stole the US Title and tried to get Fatu arrested so it’s time for a cage match to ensure that it’s 1-1.

US Title: Solo Sikoa vs. Jacob Fatu

Fatu is challenging in a cage and knocks Sikoa down to start. A running elbow drops Sikoa but he sends a charging Fatu into the cage. The slow beating continues but Fatu is back up with a hard clothesline. Sikoa sends him into the cage…and Fatu shrugs it off. A pair of moonsaults connect to give Fatu two so cue the MFT’s. The distraction brings out Jimmy Uso, who gets taken out without much trouble.

Fatu has to hold off the MFT’s, who start to climb into the cage. That’s broken up, but one of them manages to handcuff Fatu to the cage (in case the tied hands deal in the previous match wasn’t enough). Sikoa goes to the door but Fatu pulls the cuffs apart and makes the save. Talla Tonga slams the cage on Fatu’s head though and Sikoa escapes to retain at 12:05.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t much to see and the problem comes down to the fact that it didn’t feel like any kind of big moment. Instead it was just the two of them doing stuff until the interference started. It wasn’t an interesting match and Fatu only got to do so much. Sikoa keeping the title is fine, but they could have found a better way to do it.

Post match Uso gets back up and goes after Tonga Loa and JC Mateo. They’re thrown inside and Fatu takes both of them down. The moonsault off the top of the cage takes both of them down to show off that Fatu is awesome. And that’s kind of the problem with this whole story: win or lose, they’re going to keep fighting, which makes this match feel kind of unimportant.

We recap Dominik Mysterio vs. AJ Styles for the Intercontinental Title. Styles has been wanting a title shot but Guerrero has claimed an injury to avoid having to defend against him. For some reason Styles put on a bunch of costumes to….I’m really not sure why as it was about waiting for Mysterio to get healthy. Anyway, the match is on.

Intercontinental Title: Dominik Mysterio vs. AJ Styles

Styles is challenging….and comes out in a low rider (with his son next to him), a STYLES HEAT shirt and does the Eddie dance. Styles hammers away to start fast and takes over on Mysterio in the corner. A missed charge sends Styles crashing out to the floor though and Mysterio puts him on the top. The super hurricanrana is countered into a failed Styles Clash attempt, leaving Styles to hit a diving tornado DDT.

Styles slips on a Phenomenal Forearm attempt and charges into a Michinoku Driver as the Fireflies come out for some reason. The Three Amigos are loaded up but Styles reverses the third into a brainbuster. Styles can’t hit a brainbuster but can reverse Mysterio’s frog splash into the Calf Crusher. That’s broken up and the referee gets dropped, so Mysterio goes to grab a chair.

Mysterio throws it to Styles and drops down, but Styles wraps it around his own neck and drops too. The referee gets up but didn’t see what happens so they keep going. Styles goes for the Calf Crusher again but pulls the boot off so Mysterio can escape. The referee has to duck a swing so Mysterio boots Styles in the head, setting up the frog splash to retain at 10:35.

Rating: B-. This one is going to depend on your tolerance for Eddie Guerrero tributes. I’ve been over them for years, so seeing just about every Eddie reference possible in one match was a bit much. That being said, it was a much more lighthearted match and that made for an easier match to watch. If nothing else, it was so different from the other violent/car crash matches on the night and that’s what it needed to be.

Stephanie McMahon announces the attendance: 60,561, for a two night total of 113,722.

We recap Cody Rhodes vs. John Cena. Rhodes lost the Smackdown World Title to Cena at Wrestlemania when Cena hit him low, but now Rhodes wants a shot at the REAL Cena. This caused Cena to turn back to the good side, as he needed someone to remind him what he used to be.

Smackdown World Title: John Cena vs. Cody Rhodes

Cena is defending in a street fight. Rhodes gets a special entrance with a Dusty Rhodes quote (“The view never changes.”) appearing on the screen. Cena gets quite the strong reaction and does his old run to the ring. They do the Big Match Intros and stare each other down with Cena giving him a hug. The brawl is on fast and they go outside, with Cena grabbing NBA star Tyrese Haliburton’s crutch for a shot to the back.

Cena throws the steps inside but gets knocked onto them, only to pop up and knock Rhodes off the top. The steps are thrown over the top onto Rhodes’ head but he’s right back up with a Disaster Kick. Back in and Cena sends him over the top for a crash, allowing both of them to grab chairs. Rhodes knocks Cena’s out of his hands and gets in a shot to the back for two. Cena fights up again and initiates the finishing sequence but Rhodes is back up with a Cody Cutter. The AA gets two but Rhodes hits the top rope moonsault.

Another Disaster Kick gets two on Cena, who is back with an electric chair for two more. Back up and a piledriver gives Rhodes another near fall but we have to pause to check on Cena. That’s goldbricking though and Rhodes walks into an AA, followed by the STF (STFU as Cole calls it), sending Rhodes to the apron (remember ropes don’t matter here) for the break. Cena is back up with a microphone to the head, followed by a Code Red on the floor. The AA through the announcers’ table knocks Rhodes sillier but he gets back up anyway.

A quick Cross Rhodes gives Rhodes two but Cena knocks him down again. The top rope Fameasser into another AA gets two so it’s time for a table. Another (yes another) AA takes too long though and Rhodes reverses into a DDT. Said table is put up in the corner but they go outside to fight into the crowd. Cena grabs a piece of barricade and shoves it in Rhodes’ general direction before Rhodes suplexes him onto it instead. They go underneath the stage and come up the elevator Rhodes uses for his entrance with Cena holding him in the fireman’s carry (that was GREAT).

One heck of an AA sends Rhodes onto the ramp (Cena LAUNCHED him) before Cena picks Rhodes up and they go back to the ring (heck of a carry job by Cena). Back in and Rhodes sends him through the table in the corner and hits another Cross Rhodes for two. A chair to the head knocks Cena silly and Rhodes takes the turnbuckle off. The shot to Cena’s hands in front of his face thankfully doesn’t get a cover and another big shot connects, with the fans not liking this version of Rhodes.

The third shot is loaded up but Cena pulls him into the STF with the rope. That’s reversed as well so Rhodes hits back to back to back Cross Rhodes for two, leaving Rhodes stunned. With nothing else working, Rhodes grabs the belt but misses the big shot, allowing Cena to hit back to back AA’s, followed by the super AA for two. Another table is loaded up but Rhodes reverses a super AA into a Cody Cutter through the table. Cena is up in about five seconds and another Cross Rhodes gives Rhodes the title back at 37:33.

Rating: B. I’m not even going to try to defend this match, as it was a totally insane and ridiculous match (eight AA’s if you lost count) with nothing but ridiculous spots and kickouts. That being said, I was laughing my head off at some of this stuff, as they were leaning into the ridiculousness. That’s what it should have been and I liked it far more than I should have.

Post match Cena hands Rhodes the title and says something to him, which seems to mean a lot to Rhodes. With Rhodes gone, Cena soaks in a THANK YOU CENA chant….AND BROCK LESNAR IS BACK. Cena looks like he has seen a ghost and gets F5’ed to end the show. That’s certainly going to raise some eyebrows, and I do wonder if that had something to do with the abrupt Cena face turn.

Overall Rating: B. It definitely wasn’t as strong as last night, but I had a good enough time with this show. The problem here was having way too many gimmick/violent matches as it was so much of the show. The cage match wasn’t very good and the Valkyria vs. Lynch was too long, but I had a good time with most of the rest. Not an all timer, but for a three hour and forty five minute shot, I had a good time.

Overall Overall Rating: B+. The best thing I can say about this was it wasn’t dull. They had a long, drawn out weekend with a bunch of stuff taking place and some memorable moments, even if some of the matches might have been a bit lacking. I can absolutely see why Summerslam is going to be a two night event going forward and if this is what we’re getting every year, it’s going to be fine. Strong overall showing from WWE, though it would have been even better if they mixed the cards up a bit.

Results
Naomi b. Iyo Sky and Rhea Ripley – Rollup with tights to Ripley
Wyatt Sicks b. Andrade/Rey Fenix, Motor City Machine Guns, Fraxiom, Street Profits and DIY – Gacy pulled down the titles
Becky Lynch b. Lyra Valkyria – Manhandle Slam
Solo Sikoa b. Jacob Fatu – Sikoa escaped the cage
Dominik Mysterio b. AJ Styles – Frog splash
Cody Rhodes b. John Cena – Cross Rhodes

 

 

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Summerslam Count-Up – 2024 (2025 Edition): Welcome Back

Summerslam 2024
Date: August 3, 2024
Location: Cleveland Browns Stadium, Cleveland, Ohio
Attendance: 57,791
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Pat McAfee

This is the biggest Summerslam to date and that should make for a fun look back. Believe it or not, the main event features Cody Rhodes, but we also have the big in-ring return of CM Punk after his latest injury. On top of that, Gunther is challenging Damian Priest for the Raw World Title so let’s get to it.

I was in the stadium for this show, sitting in the lower bowl with the entrance on my right.

Here is HHH to get things going and introduce Jelly Roll for a live performance of “Liar”. This also serves as the opening video, with clips of the people involved in the show’s bigger matches. Roll also performed God Bless America before the show went on the air. Non-wrestling note: Roll deserves credit for losing so much weight in the last year. He looks like a different person from this year compared to the build for the following year’s Summerslam.

The Miz, the host for the show, is with the fans. That’s pretty much going to be all he does over the course of the night.

Raw Women’s Title: Rhea Ripley vs. Liv Morgan

Ripley, with Dominik Mysterio, is challenging. Morgan injured Ripley’s shoulder earlier in the year, causing her to vacate the title and has also suggested that she’s going to steal Mysterio from Ripley. Morgan runs away to start and Ripley pauses to vent some frustration on the floor. Back in and Morgan runs away again, this time pausing in front of Green Shirt guy.

They get back in again and Ripley head fakes her and the chase is over. Ripley knocks her back to the floor and the beating is on against the barricade. Ripley sends her into the steps and the confidence is high. Morgan is taken back in but manages to send the shoulder into the post, leaving Ripley in a lot of trouble. Ripley screams that IT’S OUT but insists that she does not want the match stopped.

They go outside again, with Morgan kicking her into the steps as Ripley is in trouble. The armbar goes on but Ripley uses the good arm to slam Morgan down and roll outside. Mysterio shoves Ripley out of the way of a dive, leaving Ripley to ram her bad shoulder into the announcers’ table. The pain on her face goes away and Morgan realizes what just happened.

Back in and Ripley unloads on her with right hands before grabbing the Prism Trap. Morgan gets in another shot to the arm though and tries a cross armbreaker. Ripley powers out and powerbombs her down for two but Morgan is back with a headbutt. Morgan snaps her throat first across the rope and it’s time for a chair. Ripley rams her shoulder into the buckle again and grabs Riptide, but she looks at the chair instead of covering.

The chair is loaded up but Mysterio takes it away. That earns him a death glare from Ripley, but he reminds her about the title. The distraction lets Morgan ram Ripley into Mysterio and hit Oblivion for two. Mysterio slides the chair back in and gets on the apron, which is enough for Oblivion onto the chair to finish Ripley at 15:57.

Rating: B. This was a good story with Morgan having to find a way to survive against the monster Ripley. Ultimately there is only so much that can be done with people of such different size and power, but the shoulder was a great way to go. The ending was a big twist as well, with Mysterio finally turning on Ripley. It continued what was already a good feud, as Ripley again feels like she can carry anything.

Also of note: Ripley’s facial expressions don’t get enough credit. She has those eyes that make everything she does feel intense, but at the same time, she can tell all kinds of stories with just the look on her face. Not everyone can do that and she does it as well as anyone going today.

Post match Mysterio is smiling and helps Morgan up before kissing her. Ripley looks like she’s ready to kill them both (and she would sure try).

We recap Sami Zayn vs. Bron Breakker. Zayn is the champion and Breakker is the new monster force of nature. Breakker barely lost at Money In The Bank and now it’s a rematch with a more focused challenger.

Damian Priest storms into the Judgment Day clubhouse looking for Dominik Mysterio. Finn Balor says cool down because he’s got this. Priest is really not happy.

Intercontinental Title: Sami Zayn vs. Bron Breakker

Breakker is challenging and Cole lists off how many legends won their first Intercontinental Title at Summerslam, including Ultimate Warrior in 1990. Breakker misses a spear at the start and hits the post before crashing out to the floor. Zayn hits a big flip dive but misses something coming off the top, allowing Breakker to hit a running corner clothesline.

The Helluva Kick misses so Breakker blasts him with a jumping clothesline. The super Frankensteiner gives Zayn two but the middle rope bulldog is countered into a Blue Thunder Bomb for two. Zayn exploders him into the corner, only to walk into a spear. The Super Spear gives Breakker the pin at 5:43.

Rating: C+. That’s exactly what this should have been, with Zayn trying to run and outsmart Breakker but ultimately getting overwhelmed by the power. This was about Breakker getting a big win on the major stage and Zayn was the sacrifice to make that happen. Good stuff here, with no reason for it to go any longer.

The Slim Jim Savage Moment Of The Summer is Drew McIntyre laying out CM Punk and taking his bracelet.

We recap LA Knight vs. Logan Paul for the US Title. Knight is on a roll and wants the US Title but Paul won’t show up. Knight even went to Paul’s house and got in his pool, which was enough to get Paul to come back. The brawl was on and it’s time for the big showdown in Paul’s hometown.

US Title: Logan Paul vs. LA Knight

Knight is challenging. Paul comes to the ring with rapper Machine Gun Kelly but Knight rides into the back in Paul’s Prime truck, which he had recently stole. The window has been bothering him all day though so he puts a steel pole through said window. The brawl starts on the floor with Paul getting the better of things and loading up the announcers’ table. Knight fights back and sends him into the table over and over (ignore the camera angle showing that Paul’s head wasn’t coming close).

A torture rack neckbreaker sends Paul HARD onto the table and they’re both down. They get inside for the opening bell (because all of that was pre-match stuff) and Knight hammers away but the jumping elbow hits knees. Knight gets sent hard into the corner and Paul gets to mock both Knight and the crowd. The hand to the ear sets up a big boot into a legdrop for two and a tilt-a-whirl slam plants Knight again. An Alley Oop gives Paul two but he spends too much time mocking Knight and walks into the powerslam.

Knight is back up to hammer and stomp away in the corner. A Side Effect plants Paul and the jumping top rope elbow gets two. Back up and Paul sends him to the floor for the springboard moonsault (that looked GREAT) and a big crash. Back in and the big right hand is blocked but Knight’s BFT is countered into a backslide for two. Now the big right hand can knock Knight silly….for two, and Paul’s confidence is suddenly shattered.

Another BFT is blocked but Knight catches him on top for a superplex, which almost goes VERY bad as Paul almost landed on his head, for two. They go outside again where Knight beats up some of Paul’s goons. Paul makes the save and has Machine Gun Kelly give him the brass knuckles. A quick shot to the head staggers Knight but the Buckshot Lariat is countered into a BFT to give Knight the title at 12:02.

Rating: B. The result was what mattered the most here, as Knight absolutely had to win a title at some point. Paul had held the thing long enough and there was no reason to keep the title on him over Knight. As usual, Paul got to do his athletic stuff here and ultimately he put Knight over as he should have. Knight needed this one and it couldn’t have been put together much better.

Some wrestlers shill Manscape products.

We recap Bayley defending the Smackdown Women’s Title against Nia Jax. Bayley won the title at Wrestlemania and Jax is the Queen Of The Ring, earning her the title shot. The idea here is that Bayley is smarter and capable of capitalizing on Jax’s mistakes. At the same time, Tiffany Stratton is running around with the Money In The Bank briefcase and teasing a cash in.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Nia Jax vs. Bayley

Bayley is defending. Jax starts fast with the power but can’t hit a powerbomb. Bayley gets knocked into the corner and then thrown into another corner before Jax sits on her in the ropes. Back up and Jax drops her throat first across the top rope but Bayley avoids a charge to send Jax outside. The big legdrop only hits apron for Jax and Bayley dives off the steps to hammer away. Back in and Jax crotches her on top, only for Bayley to come back with a guillotine choke (how she beat Jax at Takeover: London back in 2015).

Jax powers out but misses a middle rope legdrop, allowing Bayley to hit the Bayley To Belly for a quick two. Bayley gets knocked down again though and the Annihilator connects for two more. An annoyed Jax slams Bayley’s head into the mat and then headbutts her into the corner. Back up and Jax misses a charge into the post to give Bayley a needed breather.

Bayley’s dive is cut off and Jax drives her into the corner for the hip attack. Another Annihilator is broken up and Bayley hits a heck of a powerbomb (the fans approve) out of the corner for the huge crash. The top rope elbow connects….and here is Tiffany Stratton. Bayley knocks Stratton off the apron and kicks Jax in the face but Jax is back with a pair of powerbombs. The Annihilator finishes Bayley for the title at 12:33, with Stratton never cashing in.

Rating: B-. There was a grand total of no way that Bayley was going to leave as champion here and the only question was whether or not Stratton was going to cash in. Jax had been built up as the unstoppable monster and she had to win the title at some point in there. That’s all this needed to be, with the Annihilator at the end being a good way to make it look like Bayley was destroyed.

We recap CM Punk vs. Drew McIntyre. Punk has been out of action since being injured by McIntyre at the Royal Rumble. This resulted in the feud of the year, despite Punk not being able to wrestle. Punk cost McIntyre a pair of World Titles so McIntyre attacked him and stole a fan made bracelet that meant a lot to Punk, making it very personal. One of these moments involved costing McIntyre his Money In The Bank cash in, which ultimately cost Seth Rollins a title shot of his own. Now Rollins is the guest referee for Punk and McIntyre’s first match. Match order aside, this is the real main event of the show.

Drew McIntyre vs. CM Punk

Seth Rollins is guest referee. They immediately slug it out at the bell with Punk taking him into the corner for the stomping. Rollins has to pull Punk off and that isn’t likely to go well. McIntyre fights back up and strikes away but a clothesline puts him out on the floor. Punk’s clothesline off the apron connects as the fight moves outside, leaving Rollins to chill on the top rope. Rollins dances to the fans singing his song as McIntyre swings Punk into the announcers’ table.

McIntyre catapults him into the ring frame and adds a snap suplex for two back inside. The overhead belly to belly gets two more as Punk is in trouble. Punk strikes away and is quickly caught in a sitout powerbomb for two. With that not working, McIntyre grabs a chair but Rollins takes it away at the last second. Rollins swings but almost hits Punk, only to pull up. A rollup gives Punk a delayed two and he glares at Rollins, who is back with a neckbreaker for two more.

McIntyre pulls out the bracelet and puts it on, only for the Claymore to be broken up. Punk strikes away and hits the top rope elbow before grabbing the Anaconda Vice. Punk makes the mistake of going for the bracelet though, allowing McIntyre to come back with a Claymore for two. Rollins picks up the bracelet to keep it safe and Punk fights back, even calling for the GTS…but then he notices the bracelet on Rollins’ wrist.

McIntyre knocks Punk into Rollins but the Futureshock is countered into the GTS. The very delayed count gets two so Punk yells at Rollins, even insulting “YOUR STUPID SABU PANTS!”. After that way too low blow, Rollins screams about how this is his company and they don’t want Punk here. That earns Rollins a GTS (thankfully the pants weren’t damaged) and Punk takes the bracelet back. The distraction lets McIntyre hit the Claymore for the pin at 16:58.

Rating: B+. This had the big fight feeling that it needed to have and the ending kept Punk vs. McIntyre going while also setting up Punk vs. Rollins. What mattered the most here though was getting Punk back in the ring, as you can only have him sitting on the sidelines for so long. The match was rather good as expected and Rollins was a rather nice addition.

Post match McIntyre steals the bracelet back to keep things going.

Damian Priest apologizes to Finn Balor for yelling earlier but Balor says it’s cool. It’s Judgment Day first and Balor wants Priest to go do his thing. If Priest needs him out there, say the world. Priest is cool with this.

We recap Damian Priest vs. Gunther. Priest won the title at Wrestlemania and is proud of how far he has come. Gunther believes it is his destiny to be the star and got the title shot by winning King Of The Ring. The idea here is a culture clash, as Gunther has called Priest street trash, which hasn’t gone well.

Raw World Title: Gunther vs. Damian Priest

Priest is defending and slugs Gunther into the corner to start fast. South Of Heaven is blocked so Priest hits the lifting Downward Spiral to send Gunther outside. That’s fine with Gunther, who suplexes Priest onto the apron to take over before chopping away. A quick suplex gives Gunther two and he wins an exchange of forearms. Priest catches him going up though and pulls him back down, setting up the Broken Arrow for two.

Priest’s kicks to the chest have Gunther bleeding but Gunther is back up with a pair of very hard clotheslines for two. A boot to the face drops Priest again as the fans are trying to get behind him. Gunther kicks him down to cut off the comeback attempt and here is Finn Balor to cheer for Priest. That earns Balor a shot from Gunther but Priest takes the straps down to make the comeback.

One heck of a lariat hits Gunther and the Razor’s Edge rocks him again. South Of Heaven connects…but Balor puts the foot on the rope. Priest sees the replay on the screen and knows what Balor has done, leaving Balor sneering up at him. Gunther grabs the sleeper but Priest manages to get out. A powerbomb sets up another sleeper though and Priest is out at 16:35.

Rating: B. They beat each other up and the match was a hard hitting fight with Gunther getting the title as he should have. At the same time, the Priest/Balor story is going to make for a good personal feud as Priest is going to want revenge. Gunther needed to win the title here though, as he had dominated the midcard for so long that it was time to try him in the main event.

Here are Miz and R-Truth to announce the attendance of 57,791. A-Town Down Under interrupts, with Austin Theory mocking Jelly Roll. Grayson Waller isn’t having that though, because Roll is the only person to make music worse than R-Truth’s. Somehow R-Truth thinks A-Town Down Under is the Rock N Roll Express but Miz explains things. Roll gets in the ring with a chair and the villains are chaired in the back. Waller gets chokeslammed (and a decent one at that), followed by the triple Five Knuckle Shuffle. This was fine.

We recap Cody Rhodes defending the Smackdown world Title against Solo Sikoa. Rhodes defeated Roman Reigns at Wrestlemania to triumph over the Bloodline but Sikoa has reformed the team in his image and wants the title back. Rhodes is of course fine with this, even with his friends having been taken out so he’s all alone here.

Smackdown World Title: Cody Rhodes vs. Solo Sikoa

Rhodes is defending under Bloodline Rules (anything goes) and we see him getting off his bus to take Pharaoh towards the ring. Ont he way there, he runs into Arn Anderson (fresh away from AEW), who gives him a pep talk and says Rhodes has some friends here. They start with some trash talk before Sikoa runs him over with a shoulder and does the point. Rhodes fights up and tries the drop down right hand but Sikoa is ready for him. The threat of the Samoan Spike sends Rhodes outside and we reset again.

The Disaster Kick sends Sikoa outside, where he takes over again as the brawling isn’t working for Rhodes. Back in and a spinwheel kick into the Samoan drop has Rhodes down again. Rhodes blocks the Samoan Spike by kicking him in the hand though and a clothesline sends Sikoa outside. This time Sikoa is allowed back in, where he counters a Disaster Kick into a sitout powerbomb for two more.

The running Umaga Attack connects but Sikoa has to reverse a Pedigree attempt into Spinning Solo for another near fall. The nerve hold keeps Rhodes in trouble and Sikoa ties him in the Tree of Woe for the running headbutt. A second connects as well but the third misses, allowing Rhodes to hit kind of a moonsault crossbody. Sikoa plants him down for two more but Rhodes catches him on top with a superplex.

Sikoa’s Cross Rhodes is reversed into the real thing….and here are Tama Tonga and Tonga Loa to jump Rhodes. The big beatdown is on but Sikoa only gets two. Cue Kevin Owens for the save but he’s beaten down as well. Randy Orton returns (making sure to high five fans on the way) and helps Owens make the comeback. A powerslam sets up the Swanton to Sikoa but Cross Rhodes only gets two. Owens, Orton and the Tongas brawl to the back so Rhodes hits Sikoa in the head with the steps.

Sikoa comes back with a spear for two but the running Umaga Attack only hits steps. Rhodes hits the first two Cross Rhodes and tries a third, only for Jacob Fatu to run in for the save. Fatu wrecks Rhodes and hits a Superfly Splash through the announcers’ table but seems to hurt his own leg in the process. Back in and Sikoa’s Superfly Splash gets two but somehow Rhodes hits a Cody Cutter….and none of that matters because Roman Reigns is back. Reigns immediately Superman Punches Sikoa and gives him a spear before stopping to look at Rhodes. Reigns leaves though and Cross Rhodes retains the title at 29:14.

Rating: C+. The run-ins at the end made it better but dang this was long. They could have easily cut off about ten minutes and done the same thing. The real point here was Reigns running in for the save/his revenge, which made for a long build. It doesn’t help that Sikoa isn’t quite good enough to hang on this stage, but at least the last ten minutes or so were very good.

Overall Rating: B. It’s a good show, though it doesn’t have that one big match to really make it into a great one. The Reigns return and Punk vs. McIntyre are both worth seeing, but the majority of the main event was something of a letdown. The big stage made it feel important, but outside of that Reigns part, the main event didn’t really feel like it belonged in that spot. Other than that, the opener was good, Breakker and Knight got their titles and the weakest match was fine. Good show overall, but definitely not an all timer.

Ratings Comparison

Rhea Ripley vs. Liv Morgan

Original: B-
Redo: B

Sami Zayn vs. Bron Breakker

Original: B-
Redo: C+

LA Knight vs. Logan Paul

Original: B
Redo: B

Bayley vs. Nia Jax

Original: B-
Redo: B-

CM Punk vs. Drew McIntyre

Original: B
Redo: B+

Gunther vs. Damian Priest

Original: B
Redo: B

Cody Rhodes vs. Solo Sikoa

Original: B-
Redo: C+

Overall Rating:

Original: B
Redo: B

Yeah pretty much all in the same range here with nothing really going in one direction or another.

 

 

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Hulk Hogan Unreleased Collection: Been There Before

Hulk Hogan Unreleased
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Bruno Sammartino, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Jack Reynolds, Ken Resnick, Dick Graham, Craig DeGeorge, Nick Bockwinkel, Michael Cole, Tazz

Well you knew there were going to be a bunch of tributes after Hogan passed away and this was the first things posted to the WWE Vault. The idea is that we have a bunch of things that have never been released before, though WWE has an interesting definition of “unreleased”. I have no idea what to expect here as I’ve somehow never seen this before. Let’s get to it.

We open with a highlight package of Hogan’s career, starting even before the first title win over the Iron Sheik.

A quick intro recaps the start of Hogan’s career (there is a quick intro/history package before each match on the set).

From Championship Wrestling, November 13, 1979.

Hulk Hogan vs. Harry Valdez

This is Hogan’s first appearance in the promotion and one of three matches he would have at this taping. Hogan shoves him down to start and hits a slam, followed by the big leg. That’s not even worthy of a cover yet as Hogan sends him into the corner a few times. A slam and knee drop set up a suplex as the squashing continues. Hogan finishes with an Argentine backbreaker at 2:53. Total destruction and you could hear the adulation on commentary.

Hogan takes his time letting Valdez go. After the match, Freddie Blassie praises Hogan (with his hairy chest and back), listing off his measurements. Hogan wants nothing but the superstars and plans to squeeze them hard. This was nothing like the Hogan promo you’re familiar with hearing.

From New York City, New York, September 22, 1980.

Hulk Hogan vs. Andre The Giant

Freddie Blassie is here with Hogan, Gorilla Monsoon is guest referee, and Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler are on commentary for a weird twist. Monsoon tries to hold them apart but finally gives up and rings the bell. Andre takes him into the corner, where Monsoon grabs the hair to get them apart, which is a bizarre visual. Hogan is sent outside but comes back in, with Andre driving him into the ropes. They trade bearhugs with Hogan LIFTING HIM UP before dropping him back down.

Some shots to the back, including the legdrop, have Andre in trouble as JR points out that Andre was only 34 here. It’s bizarre to imagine him being relatively young. Anyway Andre fights back and breaks out of another bearhug but misses the splash. Another bearhug has Hogan in trouble and Andre plants him, only to hurt his back in the process. Hogan slams him (Lawler: “I don’t know if that had ever been done before.”) and then tries it again but Andre falls on him for the (rather fast) pin at 12:25.

Rating: D+. Yeah this wasn’t exactly much to see, as a good chunk of those twelve minutes were spent in various bearhugs. This is more of a match about the historical aspect of things and that’s just fine, though my goodness what a weird mixture. If nothing else, having JR and Lawler calling it completely straight was weird enough.

From Detroit, Michigan, April 29, 1986.

WWF Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Randy Savage

Hogan is defending and Savage….isn’t wearing the Intercontinental Title for some reason, though he does have Elizabeth with him. Savage jumps him to start fast and beats on Hogan with the belt, which is eventually taken away. Hogan fights back and knocks Savage to the floor, where Savage is rammed head first into the post.

Back in and Hogan lifts him up for a choke before blowing a kiss to Elizabeth, who is up on the apron for no logical reason. Savage sends him outside and kicks away from the apron, only to get rammed into the corner back inside. An atomic drop sends Savage over the top rope but they switch places, with Savage hitting a top rope ax handle.

Back in and Savage gets two off a clothesline as the fans are getting into these kickouts. The top rope elbow connects and naturally the kickout sends Savage flying. The Hulk Up is on and Hogan sends him outside, where Hogan makes the mistake of going after Elizabeth. Savage gets in a shot and tries the elbow again, only to dive into a raised boot….for the pin at 11:44. Well that’s a new one.

Rating: C+. These two always had great chemistry together but that ending was a great example of the problems with their feud. Savage gets to hit his big finish and Hogan basically shrugs it off, only to beat him with a raised boot of all things. They also hadn’t figured out how to make their matches work yet so it was only so good, but they would get better.

Post match Savage jumps Hogan from behind and takes the belt. Savage tries to steal said belt but Hogan pulls him back and hammers away.

From Houston, Texas, June 26, 1987.

WWF Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Kamala

Hogan is defending. Kamala slaps his stomach a bunch to start (as is his custom) and they trade shoulders. Hogan tries it again and Kamala LEAPFROGS HIM, leaving Hogan more than a bit stunned. Some big chops have Hogan in trouble but he comes back with the running clotheslines in the corner. Kamala drops him again and grabs the pectoral claw, with Lawler reminiscing about the times that he spent in the hold. Hogan isn’t having that and Hulks Up, meaning it’s the usual to finish and retain at 5:54.

Rating: D+. Yeah this one really didn’t work, with Kamala never being the most versatile opponent for Hogan (the leapfrog was great though). This felt like a really low level title defense for Hogan and unfortunately it’s only about three months after Wrestlemania III. Once you beat Andre, why is any other giant going to feel like a threat?

Post match Kim Chee jumps Hogan, who shrugs it off and steals Chee’s hat before posing.

From Philadelphia, December 5, 1987.

WWF Title: Hulk Hogan vs. One Man Gang

Hogan is defending and Slick is here with the Gang. They tease a test of strength to start and Gang shoves him away. Hogan’s headlock works a bit better but Gang shoves him off again and runs him over. The slow beating (as per Gang’s custom) begins, including some choking on the ropes. Back up and Hogan sends him into the buckle over and over before firing off the chops.

Hogan can’t knock him down though and Gang is right back with the nerve hold. Gang runs him over again and starts dropping some ax handles to the back. Another comeback is cut off again and Gang stays on the back, this time with knees and a bearhug. Hogan fights out again but a clothesline cuts that off as well, allowing Gang to hit the 747. This time it’s the Hulk up though, complete with the waving finger (which Gang follows for a funny bit). The right hands, boot and legdrop retain at 11:18.

Rating: C-. This was pretty much the same thing as the Kamala match, albeit a bit better. Gang was a bit underrated in the ring as he’s remembered as nothing more than another big guy, but he could move around well enough. He was also mixing up the offense on Hogan’s back so this could have been a lot worse.

Post match Hogan steals Slick’s hat (this is a thing for him) and here is Andre The Giant for a staredown.

From Hamilton, Ontario, Canada, March 13, 1988.

Hulk Hogan/Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Ted DiBiase/Virgil

Andre is here with the villains. It’s a big brawl to start with the good guys cleaning house. Hogan gets in the double noggin knocker and then knocks DiBiase’s noggin into Bigelow’s for a bonus. Virgil gets in a cheap shot to take over though and Andre chokes away on the ropes. Some more shots from Virgil set up more Andre choking before they mix it up a bit by having Andre choke instead.

DiBiase grabs the chinlock for a good while before a double clothesline puts both of them down. Back up and Hogan makes the tag off to Bigelow as everything breaks down. Hogan cleans house and Bigelow drops a leg on Virgil. DiBiase elbows Virgil by mistake and it’s the legdrop into the splash to give Bigelow the pin at 11:04.

Rating: C-. This was a pretty hot feud on the house show circuit but it was only so good here. The bright side of it is the shifting away from Hogan vs. the giants, as DiBiase was a different kind of villain. It didn’t help that it was a question of which one would pin Virgil, but the match was just kind of there for the most part.

Post match we get a bit more brawling and posing.

From Smackdown, June 6, 2002.

Hulk Hogan vs. HHH

For a World Title shot and they were the final two in a battle royal earlier tonight. HHH backs him into the corner to start but Hogan slugs his way out of trouble. Some right hands have HHH out on the floor and Hogan knocks him over the barricade. They get back inside where HHH chokes away in the corner, followed by a chinlock. Hogan gets up after two arm drops and hits the big boot but misses the legdrop. The Pedigree is blocked as well and now the legdrop connects for two. Hogan is shocked and the Pedigree finishes clean at 6:45.

Rating: C. Weird way to end the set, but it’s nice to have something from a different era to wrap it up. Hogan doing a clean job is always strange to see, but he was already fresh off losing the title so he was only going to get so many more wins anyway. Just a quick TV main event which felt more like a dark match.

Post match HHH goes to leave but Hogan calls him back in for the handshake. HHH cuts him off from leaving too though and they pose together.

One more look back at Hogan’s amazing career, including a look at his Hall Of Fame induction, wraps us up.

Overall Rating: C-. It’s not the nicest feeling, but this really wasn’t worth much of a watch. The matches cover a lot of ground but there is a reason these haven’t been released before. Most of them are either matches that aren’t very interesting or have been done better elsewhere. Granted this is the VERY slimmed down version (this is just shy of two hours, while the full version is around nine hours), but I wasn’t so much interested in this as much as I was wondering how much longer it had.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw – December 2, 1996: And The Reason Is Clear

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 2, 1996
Location: New Haven Coliseum, New Haven, Connecticut
Attendance: 4,968
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

We’re just done with Survivor Series and on the way to It’s Time, which means we could be in for a lot of Vader. That’s in theory only though, as Vader isn’t actually scheduled for the show, but the focus will be on Sid instead. He’s going to need some competition though and we might find out some more about that this week. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Flash Funk vs. The Goon

The Funkettes are here with Funk. Goon jumps him from behind to start fast and hammers away. Funk kicks him to the head and gets two off a sunset flip out of the corner. We go split screen to look at Sid vs. Bret Hart in London last week as Funk takes him down with an armbar. Goon is sent outside for a middle rope clothesline, followed by a top rope moonsault. We take a break and come back with Funk working on the armbar again. That’s broken up and Goon drops a middle rope elbow. Funk suplexes him out of the corner though and a moonsault legdrop finishes Goon at 9:04.

Rating: C-. Other than the cool finisher, there was no reason for this to go so long. At the end of the day, occasionally you need to see someone just get a squash win and that was the case here. Funk isn’t a big star, but he’s a bigger deal than the Goon and it shouldn’t have taken nine minutes to get to the proper result.

Last week in London, Steve Austin wasn’t happy. This was very Stone Cold and that’s only going to get better.

Diesel vs. Phineas Godwinn

The bell rings and we IMMEDIATELY cut to a split (and then full) screen look at Jerry Lawler breaking Tiny Tim’s ukulele back in July 1993. We actually go back to the match with Diesel hitting an elbow in the corner and a side slam. The running crotch attack to the back connects as Jim Ross hypes up Diesel and Razor Ramon getting a Tag Team Title shot at It’s Time. Phineas sends him into the corner and a belly to back suplex but here is Ramon for a distraction. The Jackknife finishes for Diesel at 3:43.

Rating: D+. As has been the case before, it’s not a good sign when the match is ignored for the sake of talking about something that has nothing to do with the match. In this case it was over three years old and had no major connection to anything here. If they don’t care about Diesel (and Razor Ramon), why keep having him on TV?

Shawn Michaels joins us to say he was defensive last week but not defensive enough. He’s fine with Sid hitting him with a camera at Survivor Series, but he’s not ok with Sid attacking Jose Lothario. Michaels goes into a rant about giving the fans what they want and promises to win the WWF Title back at the Royal Rumble. We also hear something about dragging skeletons out of the closet and having his navel pierced. If Michaels was on something here, I wouldn’t be the slightest bit surprised.

Justin Bradshaw vs. Jesse Jammes

Bradshaw has Uncle Zebekiah (Dutch Mantel) with him and Jammes is the former Roadie, who has since been revealed as the real singing voice behind Jeff Jarrett’s music career. Believe it or not, this wasn’t the big break he was looking for. Jammes crossbodies him to start and Bradshaw is already bailing out to the floor. Back in and Bradshaw shrugs ff some right hands before kicking Jammes in the face.

Jammes gets knocked into the ropes but comes back with a suplex. A swinging neckbreaker cuts that off in a hurry and Bradshaw yells at the referee for being slow. The sleeper is countered with a belly to back suplex (clearly something he learned from Jarrett) and Jammes starts the comeback. Some right hands and a dancing clothesline set up a knee lift but Jammes goes outside to yell at Zebekiah. Back in and Zebekiah trips him down, setting up Bradshaw’s lariat for the pin at 5:55.

Rating: C. Match of the night thus far, partially because it didn’t feel like it went on far too long. Bradshaw is basically what he would be for years to come, at least in the ring, while Jammes still isn’t showing much in the way of in-ring action. It’s a fine enough match, but it’s not like either of these two are known for what they do in the ring.

Jerry Lawler takes Sid’s place in the Karate Fighters tournament and beats Todd Pettingill.

Last week, the British Bulldog cut off Steve Austin from Pillmanizing Bret Hart’s leg. This led to a brawl in England last year, with Hart saving Bulldog. Then Sid beat up Hart, who can’t catch a break.

Owen Hart and Bulldog are ready to beat up Austin.

Bret Hart will see Austin down the road and wants to win the WWF Title again.

Sid is ready to beat up Bret at It’s Time.

Merc Mero/Jake Roberts vs. Hunter Hearst Helmsley/Billy Gunn

Roberts chases Gunn into the ropes to start before hitting a running knee to the floor. We get a split screen interview with Jesse Jammes, who is ready to face Bradshaw again next week. Mero comes in to chase Helmsley out to the floor so Mero settles for a running knee to Gunn instead.

It’s back to Roberts to work on the arm before Mero chases Helmsley to the floor again. Gunn gets his arm cranked on even more as that’s the extent of the heroes’ offense. A backdrop gives Mero two and Roberts comes back in for the short arm clothesline. Gunn finally gets over to Helmsley, who gets to stomp on Roberts in the corner.

We take a break and come back with Helmsley grabbing a front facelock. Gunn gets to do the same but Roberts fights out for a double down. Mero comes in to clean house as Gunn and Helmsley get in an argument. Mero’s Samoan drop into the Wild Thing finishes Helmsley at 15:28.

Rating: C+. It was long and the parts with Roberts were rough, but I’ll take just about anything after this mess of a show. Mero is starting to figure things out in the ring at this point and it’s making for some fun watches. He’s already in the Intercontinental Title picture and that result is only going to get him closer.

Post match Roberts gives Helmsley the snake treatment to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. There’s a reason Monday Nitro was smashing through Raw at this point and…well ok it was the NWO, but this show wasn’t helping itself at all. Other than a just ok main event, there was nothing worth watching here and it was not an easy show to sit through. Maybe it gets better with some bigger names involved, but what we got here was not good and there was no way around it.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Summerslam Count-Up – 2012 (2025 Edition): I’ve Already Forgotten

Summerslam 2012
Date: August 19, 2013
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 14,205
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

So Brock Lesnar is back and someone has to stop him. Naturally in this case that means HHH, who is still one of the most important people in the company. Lesnar broke HHH’s arm so HHH is back in the ring to get some revenge. That is pretty much the entire focus of the show, along with the required World Title matches. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Santino Marella vs. Antonio Cesaro

Cesaro (and yes, Antonio Cesaro), with Aksana, is challenging and gets to say “greatest” in five languages before his match (and yes, we were supposed to be surprised when this didn’t get over). They grapple to the mat to start and Marella can actually hang with him down there, followed by a judo throw to bring Cesaro down.

Cesaro breaks out of an armbar without much trouble but Marella is already loading up the Cobra. That’s not happening either so Cesaro takes him to the mat for a chinlock with a knee in Marella’s back. Marella gets up and suplexes Cesaro down but the Cobra is ripped up. Marella fights back and pulls out another Cobra, only for Aksana to offer a distraction. The Neutralizer gives Cesaro the pin and the title at 5:09.

Rating: C. That’s all it should have been as Cesaro wasn’t going to be in any danger against a joke like Marella. The point in putting the title on Marella was to have him lose it in dominant fashion against a big threat and that’s what we got here. The match was nothing of note but that wasn’t the point, as Cesaro basically mauled him in the end.

The opening video looks at the history of Summerslam before shifting to Lesnar vs. HHH. The other matches are basically ignored, as this is all that matters.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Chris Jericho

Ziggler is Mr. Money In The Bank and has Vickie Guerrero with him while Jericho only has bad ribs (thanks to Ziggler on Smackdown). Ziggler bails out to the floor to start so Jericho gives chase, setting up a running elbow to the jaw back inside. With the running stuff not working, Ziggler gets smart by going after the ribs to take over. An ax handle to the ribs gets two but Jericho is back up with a backdrop to the floor (with a heck of a bump from Ziggler).

Jericho does the Hogan hand to the ear but misses the triangle…well it wasn’t going to be a dropkick even if it hit. Back in and Ziggler takes him down into some kind of a rib stretch, followed by a Stinger Splash for two. A neckbreaker lets Ziggler mock the arrogant cover for two more but another Stinger Splash misses. Jericho hits the middle rope ax handle but gets sent into the corner again, allowing Ziggler to hit the Fameasser for two.

The enziguri gives Jericho two of his own but Ziggler is right back with a rather messy looking sleeper. That’s broken up (because it’s a sleeper) so Jericho catches him on top with a super hurricanrana and they both crash down. The running DDT gives Ziggler two and the Zig Zag gets the same, leaving Vickie screaming on the floor.

Back up and Jericho hits a quick Codebreaker but Ziggler rolls out to the floor. Vickie grabs the leg so Jericho can get two off a small package, leaving her screaming again. The Liontamer makes Ziggler tap at 13:04. This is described as Jericho “winning the big one” at Summerslam and….really? He’s won matches at Summerslam before but THIS is the big one?

Rating: B-. The match was fine as you would expect, but I’m not buying this being Jericho winning “the big one” at Summerslam. Jericho is a former multiple time World Champion and has main evented Wrestlemania. Having him win an opener against someone like Ziggler doesn’t feel like a major accomplishment, but rather just something he happens to be doing here.

We look at Brock Lesnar breaking Shawn Michaels’ arm on Raw, which even Paul Heyman thinks might be too far.

Heyman announces that HHH has talked the referee into letting them go a bit further tonight. Lesnar says HHH is in a fight he can’t win, with Heyman saying the two words are “tap out”.

Daniel Bryan vs. Kane

So they’re both having trouble dealing with anger, including Bryan being VERY angry that the fans are cheering for him, even if it’s more mocking this time. Bryan kicks away at the ribs to start before moonsaulting over Kane, who plants him with a slam. The basement dropkick gets one and Kane throws him hard out to the floor. Bryan gets in a shot on the floor though and the missle dropkick gets two back inside.

The fans get to Bryan again but he fires off the YES Kicks anyway. The big kick to the head misses (as it almost always does) though and Kane drops him with a hard clothesline. Kane’s side slam gets two as the loose string on his boot is driving me crazy. There’s the top rope clothesline for two but Bryan escapes the chokeslam and bails outside.

Back in and Bryan hits him in the face, which goes about as well as you probably expect. Bryan goes for the arm though and now the big kick to the head connects. The top rope headbutt is countered into a chokeslam but the Tombstone is countered into a small package (ignore Kane’s shoulder being up) for the pin at 8:03.

Rating: C+. This was another fun one, as Bryan gets to work in his small package, which has been a near trademark for him over the years. The double anger management thing was a good touch and the two of them worked well together in any capacity. If nothing else, this was a lot better than the rumored deal with Charlie Sheen for Bryan, as he and Kane would wind up having a heck of a run together as a team shortly after this.

Post match Kane stalks Bryan to the back, shouting WHERE IS HE and breaking various things (including Josh Matthews).

Intercontinental Title: Rey Mysterio vs. The Miz

Mysterio, as Batman, is challenging but Miz tops him by bringing back the awesome AWESOME balloons for his own entrance. Miz gets in an early knockdown to start so Mysterio grabs a rollup for two, sending him outside. They trade spots a few times, allowing Mysterio to dropkick him through the ropes.

Back in and Miz fires off some kicks, setting up a torture rack dropped into a backbreaker for two. A kick to the head gives Miz two and we hit the cravate. Miz hits a clothesline from his knees for another near fall but Mysterio catches him up top. The top rope seated senton starts the comeback but Miz is right there with a snazzy slingshot sitout powerbomb. Mysterio is back up with a 619 so he tries to Drop The Dime, which is pulled out of the air. That’s reversed into a cradle for two but Miz is right back with the Skull Crushing Finale for the pin to retain at 9:09.

Rating: C+. This was a match that could have been on any given Raw and again that’s not exactly Summerslam worthy. I can always go for the Miz, but this was just he and Mysterio having a match which came and went without doing much of anything. Totally fine and watchable stuff, but for a Monday night in the middle of May, not at the Staples Center at Summerslam.

Eve Torres and Teddy Long think Raw GM AJ Lee is a bit nuts. They leave and CM Punk goes in to see Lee, saying that he doesn’t like being in a triple threat for his title. Punk thinks it’s because he turned down her proposal (Lee was….something at this point), though Lee won’t say anything. He says that’s rather disrespectful, but promises to defend the title tonight. Then tomorrow on Raw, she’ll be forced to show him respect. Lee continues to look off into space and not say a word as Punk leaves.

We recap Alberto Del Rio challenging Sheamus for the Smackdown World Title. Del Rio said Sheamus was beneath him and wanted the title, which is the entire point of the feud. Sheamus stole Del Rio’s car and drove it around San Antonio before leaving the car a mess. Del Rio teased getting Sheamus arrested but had fake cops beat Sheamus up instead. The match was still on for Summerslam.

Smackdown World Title: Alberto Del Rio vs. Sheamus

Sheamus is defending and Ricardo Rodriguez is here with Del Rio (ok I had forgotten how good the personalized ring announcing can be). They start fast and go to the floor, with both of them being sent into a hard object. Back in and Del Rio kicks him in the head, followed by another one to the bad arm to put Sheamus in trouble. The cross armbreaker is easily countered into the Regal Roll for two but Del Rio kicks him in the arm again.

Another cross armbreaker attempt is cut off but the Brogue Kick misses as well. Del Rio knocks him outside, followed by a top rope chop to the head for two back inside. More kicks have Sheamus in trouble but he fights up with the raw power. Del Rio goes right back to the arm to knock him out of the air though and the cross armbreaker finally goes on.

That’s broken up with quite the powerbomb, followed by White Noise for two. The Brogue Kick is blocked so Sheamus hits the ten forearms to the chest. Del Rio kicks him in the head for two so Rodriguez throws in a shoe. That’s intercepted and Sheamus hits the Irish Curse for the pin, but Del Rio’s foot is on the rope…and it doesn’t matter as Sheamus knocks it off and gets the win at 11:23.

Rating: B-. This is a basic story that makes perfect sense, but that doesn’t make it interesting. I remember watching this feud as it played out and there was never a moment where I felt invested in the story. It’s just Sheamus having matches with someone who felt beneath him and that wasn’t going to work. The stuff with the car was fine, but Del Rio didn’t feel like a threat to win the title, which sums up a lot of the issues he had after around 2011 or so.

Sheamus’ “oh well” shrug and smile are great. Del Rio blames Rodriguez for the loss and walks out.

Earlier today, HHH told the referee to let he and Brock Lesnar fight tonight.

Tag Team Titles: Prime Time Players vs. Kofi Kingston/R-Truth

Kingston and R-Truth are defending. The serious R-Truth jumps Young to start and hammers away. Young drives him into the corner though and hands it off to O’Neil for some barking. A front facelock slows R-Truth down but he’s back up with a kick to the face. Kingston comes in to clean house, including the Boom Drop to O’Neil.

The chase around the ring goes badly for Kingston though as a cheap shot lets the villains take over. O’Neil suplexes Young onto Kingston for two. Commentary discusses Little Jimmy’s parentage as O’Neil puts on an abdominal stretch. That’s broken up and it’s back to R-Truth as everything breaks down. Young grabs a rollup for two but walks into Little Jimmy for the pin to retain at 7:03.

Rating: C-. If there has been a recurring theme on this show, it’s “this doesn’t feel like it belongs on Summerslam” and this match is the poster child for those issues. This would have been dull on any given edition of Raw and it wasn’t any better here. I get that you need a bit of a breather between two of the bigger matches, but as usual, the Tag Team Titles do not feel remotely important. It’s not the wrestlers’ fault as they had a decent enough match, but dang this felt out of place.

We look at WWE taking over Los Angeles.

We recap CM Punk defending the Raw World Title against John Cena and Big Show. Punk got tired of the lack of respect despite being World Champion and turned evil by attacking Cena. In addition, Show has been knocking people out to keep himself involved as well. Rather kooky General Manager AJ Lee made it a triple threat to torment Punk, who is all about getting respect.

Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. John Cena vs. Big Show

Punk is defending. Show drops both of them to dominate early and hits the big chops. A double suplex sends Cena and Punk flying and Show knocks Cena outside. Back up and Punk gets smart by kicking the leg out as the fans are rather pro-Punk. Cena comes back in and gets kicked down for two, only for Show to stand on Punk’s back. Show sends Cena outside again and pulls a springboarding Punk out of the air to plant him down.

Back in and Cena gets speared down for two, setting up a Vader Bomb. Punk moves out of the way so Cena gets fully crushed, leaving Punk to be chokeslammed against the ropes. The side slam plants Cena as this has been almost all Show. Cena is back up with the ProtoBomb to drop Show but Punk is right there to break up the Shuffle. Punk drops a top rope elbow for two, with the kickout sending him flying.

Another kick to the head sets up a Koji Clutch, which is broken up in short order. Cena gets Show in the STF but it’s countered as well. Punk gets the Koji Clutch on Show again but Cena adds the STF and Show taps at 12:34. Punk and Cena both celebrate but there’s no ruling. Cue AJ Lee to say restart the match, so Show chokeslams both of them for two each. The KO Punch misses though and Cena gives Show the AA, only to be thrown outside so Punk can steal the pin to retain at 14:28.

Rating: B-. Show looked dominant, but the double submission took a lot of that away in a hurry. I didn’t even remember this match taking place here and that’s because, and I hate to sound like such a corrupted mp3 (because my goodness it’s time enough to get a new metaphor) but this isn’t something that felt worthy of being on Summerslam. It’s just another triple threat that feels like what you do when you don’t have a good enough idea. AJ being all crazy and messing with Punk is fine, but find a better way to do it.

Celebrities are here!

We look at the new WWE movie, the Day. It had no wrestlers in prominent roles, got bad reviews and made $20,000 in theaters.

We look at Cesaro winning the US Title on the pre-show.

Kevin Rudolph sings the theme song. Were we really short on time here or something? Various WWE women come out to dance, with Michael Cole doing the same on commentary.

We recap HHH vs. Brock Lesnar. Basically Lesnar had a bunch of demands, like a looser schedule, Vince McMahon’s private jet and more money, but HHH said no chance. Lesnar broke HHH’s arm and a few months later, the match was set for Summerslam. This led to an almost bizarre visual of Stephanie McMahon arguing with Paul Heyman, which might have been even more entertaining. Lesnar responded by breaking Shawn Michaels’ arm as well and the match was on.

HHH vs. Brock Lesnar

The rules are slightly relaxed here and Lesnar has Paul Heyman with him. Lesnar powers him into the corner to start but the Kimura is blocked. HHH clotheslines him to the floor and hits the running knee to put Lesnar down for a breather. Another clothesline puts Lesnar on the floor and Heyman tells him to slow it down. Back in and Lesnar takes the gloves off before knocking HHH outside.

The previously broken arm is dropped onto the announcers’ table as HHH is in trouble. Back in and HHH slugs away but gets cut off with a German suplex. They go back outside and the bad arm is sent into the steps. HHH gets sent over the announcers’ table, followed by a hard clothesline back inside.

HHH fights back and tries the Pedigree but gets sent back to the floor, with the arm getting banged up again. Lesnar goes after him but HHH sends him ribs first into the announcers’ table, leaving Lesnar in trouble. Back in and HHH fires off the knees to the ribs, followed by the spinebuster. The Pedigree gets two so Lesnar hits him low for a breather. The F5 gives Lesnar two (Heyman: “WHAT DOES IT TAKE?”) so the Kimura goes on. That’s broken up and HHH hits another Pedigree, only to get caught in the Kimura for the tap at 18:43.

Rating: B. I guess you can call this the match of the night, as it’s the only match on the show that was treated as a big deal. It wasn’t exactly in doubt as HHH isn’t going to beat Lesnar at Summerslam (he would of course save that for Wrestlemania), which left this as kind of an “ok, and then what?” feeling. The stuff with the arm worked as a story, but it was a question of how Lesnar would win rather than would he win.

Post match Lesnar and Heyman leave, with HHH doing the big dramatic stand as the fans cheer for him. HHH: “I’m sorry.” Somehow this feud would continue for about eight more months, with HHH winning at Wrestlemania (of course) and Lesnar beating him at Extreme Rules to wrap it up and finally move on to something new.

Overall Rating: C+. The show isn’t bad as a whole, but there is a reason I saw this on the list and could barely remember anything about it. Outside of the main event, this is as nothing of a Summerslam as you’ll ever find, with pretty much nothing important happening here. So much of this show feels like it’s setting up something else for later and that’s not what I’m wanting out of one of the biggest events of the year. I get the idea of building off of this, but there was just nothing going on here and it’s a totally forgettable show as a result.

 

 

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Summerslam 2008 (2024 Edition): A Pair Is Good Enough

Summerslam 2008
Date: August 17, 2008
Location: Conseco Fieldhouse, Indianapolis, Indiana
Attendance: 15,997
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz, Todd Grisham, Matt Striker

We’re wrapping up the summer with this big one, though it is more or less a two match show. On the Raw side, that would be John Cena vs. Batista, while the Smackdown side counters with Edge vs. Undertaker inside the Cell. That should be enough to carry the show, which is pretty much what WWE is going with, as the rest of the show does not feel nearly as important (which, fair enough). Let’s get to it.

The opening video is a trailer for the ultimate summer blockbuster, complete with clips of Summerslams past. I’ve seen worse ideas. The Cell match gets some hype as well.

MVP vs. Jeff Hardy

MVP fires off some kicks to start but gets chased to the floor, where Hardy takes over rather quickly. Back in and Hardy hits a slingshot legdrop before cranking on the arm for a change. MVP fights up and catches a charging Hardy in an overhead belly to belly into the corner for a nasty crash. A double underhook crank goes on, followed by a camel clutch to keep Hardy down. That’s broken up so MVP switches over to a half crab and then something like a heel hook as the submissions are varying here.

Hardy tries to fight up again but what looked like a springboard is cut off by a hard right hand. MVP ties him in the Tree of Woe but Hardy slips out and grabs a neckbreaker for a breather. The slingshot dropkick is cut off by a kick to the chest though and Hardy is right back in the corner. That doesn’t last long as he comes right back out with the Sling Blade but cue Shelton Benjamin for a distraction. Hardy takes him down but misses the Swanton, allowing MVP to hit the Drive By for the pin.

Rating: B-. They were getting going near the end here and it wound up being a rather nice way to open the show without it feeling like a major match. Odds are Hardy is going to get another US Title shot after the Benjamin interference but I’m curious to see what is next for MVP. There isn’t much in the way of another upper midcarder for him to face so other than a rematch with Hardy, he’s kind of in a weird place.

Maria interviews Santino Marella and Beth Phoenix, with Santino saying Maria has let herself go since they broke up. They are known as Glamarella, which is a total phenomenon. Maria: “Like your unibrow?” Santino says they they need to go, with Beth glaring at Maria and saying Santino is all his. Santino: “This is awkward.”

Intercontinental Title/Women’s Title: Kofi Kingston/Mickie James vs. Santino Marella/Beth Phoenix

Kofi and Mickie are defending and it’s winner takes all. Mickie has to get away from Beth’s power to start before kicking out the leg. A basement dropkick gives Mickie two but a belly to back suplex puts her right back down. Santino comes in and is promptly monkey flipped, allowing Kofi to come in and hammer away. Beth stops to yell at Santino and gets dropkicked out to the floor, leaving her to catch Santino as he is knocked off the apron.

Back up and Santino manages a neckbreaker over the ropes to take over on Kofi. A snap suplex gets two on Kofi and we hit the chinlock. Kofi fights up and hands it back to Mickie to take over on Beth. A dropkick knocks Santino off the apron and the top rope Thesz press gets two on Beth, with Santino diving back in for the save. The MickieDT plants Santino but the distraction lets Beth hit the Glam Slam for the pin and both titles.

Rating: C. The match was pretty quick and to the point, but it isn’t like Kofi was doing anything significant as champion and Mickie had held her title for a good while. Glamarella is a better act at the moment and it makes sense to change both belts. Go with what makes sense here, as Santino as the in over his head champion who needs Beth to save him should be fun.

Beth having to wake Santino up so he can be awarded his title is funny. He gets on Beth’s shoulders to be carried out for a great bonus.

We recap Shawn Michaels’ eye injury, which might result in the end of his career, all at the hands of Chris Jericho. It is time for him to make an announcement, and you know Jericho is going to have something to say as well.

Here is Shawn, with his wife Rebecca, for his announcement. He gets right to the point, saying he has been talking to his doctors and with the injury to his eye, on top of his back and knees and everything else, it is time to listen to his doctors. Shawn talks about some of the highs and lows of his career, but now he has the chance to be known as a full time husband and father. Before he can make the officially announcement though, here is Chris Jericho to interrupt.

Jericho: “No.” Shawn: “Excuse me?” Jericho isn’t going to let Shawn walk away like this, because he wants to hear Shawn admit that he is leaving because of what Jericho did to him. Jericho wants Shawn to have to go home to his family and say that he isn’t good enough. For now, he wants Shawn to admit that Jericho put him out for good. All of his accomplishments mean nothing because the epitaph for Shawn’s career says “the man who was forced to walk away from the ring because of Chris Jericho.”

Shawn says he’ll go home and tell his kids that he can’t wrestle anymore because of a vile human being. Jericho needs to go home too though, and sit his wife and kids down to tell them that he will never, ever be Shawn Michaels. They stare at each other and Jericho comes up swinging, with Shawn ducking so the punch hits Rebecca instead.

Shawn is distraught and Jericho looks upset before leaving. Jericho stares back at him and Shawn looks almost lost before checking on Rebecca again. Rebecca eventually gets up and leaves with Shawn as this gets the time that it needs. This was REALLY good stuff with Jericho selling the jealousy and Shawn getting in the great mic drop line at the end.

ECW Title: Mark Henry vs. Matt Hardy

Henry, with Tony Atlas, is defending. Hardy slugs away to start but is easily powered into the corner. A Twist of Fate connects out of nowhere…but Atlas breaks up the cover and that’s a DQ in about thirty seconds. Well that’s either a time crunch or they had nothing else to do and needed to extend the feud another month.

Post match the beatdown is on but Jeff Hardy runs in for the save.

We recap CM Punk defending the Raw World Title against JBL. Punk won the title via Money In The Bank cash-in and JBL keeps talking down to him for being in over his head. Punk is out to prove he belongs on this level.

Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Punk is defending and gets powered into the corner to start for a clean break. A headlock doesn’t work so Punk kicks away and dropkicks JBL out to the floor, setting up the big dive. Back in and JBL hits a big shoulder to take over, setting up a super fall away slam for two. Some elbows to the back keep Punk in trouble and we hit the bearhug.

Punk fights out but charges into a boot to the face for two. The waistlock stays on the ribs before JBL switches over to the abdominal stretch. Punk fights out and manages the running knee in the corner but JBL is back with a heck of a clothesline (not the Clothesline From JBL but rather just a clothesline from JBL).

Another comeback with a kick to the head gives Punk two but JBL powerslams him out of the air for two more. The Clothesline From JBL is broken up with a leg lariat but JBL cuts off the bulldog out of the corner. JBL sends him flying with a belly to back superplex and Punk is bleeding from somewhere on his head. Back up and Punk hits a quick GTS for the really sudden pin to retain (possibly due to the cut).

Rating: C+. It was a fine come from behind win for Punk, even if the ending was really sudden. What matters the most though is giving Punk a clean pin over someone with some status. He still only feels so much like a major star, but a win in a World Title match at Summerslam should help that. Now just make him slightly more important on Raw and it will be even better.

We recap HHH vs. Great Khali for the Smackdown World Title. HHH is the champion but Khali is big. End of story.

Smackdown World Title: HHH vs. Great Khali

HHH is defending and Khali has Runjin Singh with him. The early right hands stagger Khali but he easily blocks a Pedigree attempt. HHH’s clotheslines are cut off with the tree slam but Khali would rather pose than cover. The Vice Grip is broken up and a chop block takes Khali down. They go outside where the big chop knocks HHH silly and it’s time to stomp away back inside.

The fans think Khali can’t wrestle and he proves them wrong by grabbing a nerve hold. That stays on for a good while but HHH slugs away and hits a facebuster to tie Khali’s arms in the ropes. Khali kicks his way out so HHH goes after the leg and even ties it around the post in a smart move. Not that it matters as Khali chops him down again and the Vice Grip goes on again. Since it’s HHH, he manages to power out and, after another failed attempt, hits the Pedigree to retain the title.

Rating: C. That’s on something of a sliding scale as Khali is only going to be so good on his best day and the match wasn’t exactly good. That being said, they followed a simple formula here of Khali slowly beating him down and grinding away while HHH just tried for his one big home run dhow. It wasn’t good, but I’ll take a “that could have been worse” for a World Title match involving Khali.

We recap John Cena vs. Batista in their first ever match in WWE. I don’t think it needs much more of an explanation than that.

John Cena vs. Batista

Batista grabs a headlock into a running shoulder to start but Cena is back with a hiptoss. Back up and Cena’s shoulder runs Batista over for a change but Batista gets two off a suplex. A side slam gives Batista two more and he mixes things up with a Figure Four of all things. The leg is fine enough that Cena gets to the rope and FU’s Batista over the top for a crash out to the floor. While Cena gets a breather, Batista comes up holding his knee, which can’t go well.

Back in and Cena hits another Shuffle but the second FU is broken up. Batista powers him into the corner for the shoulders to the ribs but the Batista Bomb is countered into a DDT on the knee. Cena gets the STFU but Batista powers out into something like a rear naked choke for a change.

A shot to the knee gets Cena out of trouble, only for Batista to spear him down for two. Cena manages to reverse a powerslam into an FU for a rather delayed two. They go up top with Cena knocking him off the top, only for the top rope Fameasser to be countered into a powerbomb for two more. The Batista Bomb gives Batista the pin.

Rating: B. It didn’t quite live up to the hype, but how can anything live up to that kind of pressure? This was the definition of a dram match with two of the biggest names in WWE facing off for the first time. It also wasn’t very long, not even breaking fourteen minutes. What we got was good, but it felt like it should have been incredible and it just never got there.
The Cell is lowered.

We recap Edge vs. the Undertaker inside the Cell. This is more about Edge vs. his wife Vickie Guerrero, as Edge cheated on her with their wedding planner. As a result, Vickie put him in the Cell match as revenge. Edge has tapped into his more evil, aggressive side to fight back against Undertaker but also to deal with Vickie. Undertaker hasn’t appeared during the whole thing and is more a big shadow over the real feud, making it kind of a weir build. Edge has done well though and is feeling more like the great version of himself, which gives this promise.

Edge vs. Undertaker

Inside the Cell. They start slowly until Undertaker kicks him in the face. It’s already time to head out to the floor, where Edge is sent hard into the Cell. Another whip sends him into the steps as this is one sided so far. Undertaker drops the apron legdrop as we see La Familia watching backstage. The steps are set up in the corner and Edge is Snaked Eyesed onto them….which wakes Edge up for some reason. Undertaker is sent into the steps and then speared against the for a bonus.

It’s table time but first, Edge knocks him silly with the steps again. Edge can’t manage to suplex him through two tables at ringside though and has to fight out of a chokeslam attempt. A chair to the throat puts Undertaker down again so let’s throw in a ladder as well. One heck of a chair shot to the head puts Undertaker down, allowing Edge to put him onto the table. The chair shot off the ladder crushes Undertaker and they’re both down. Edge is up first and loads up a Conchairto, which takes too long, allowing Undertaker to slug away.

A big boot sends Edge into the Cell and some hard steps to the head makes it worse. Edge manages a posting though and the spear sends Undertaker through the Cell wall for the big crash. It’s Undertaker up first and he hits Edge in the head with a TV monitor. They go onto the announcers’ table, with Edge hitting a spear to send him through the other table. Somehow Undertaker is up first again and hits Edge with the bell.

They go back inside (the fans do not approve), where Edge is waiting with a ladder to the head. A camera to the head (ala Survivor Series last year when Edge cost Undertaker in the Cell) but Undertaker pops back up with a chokeslam for two. The Last Ride is broken up with a low blow and Edge hits the Edgecution for two. Another spear gets another two but Undertaker is back up with the Last Ride for the same. The Tombstone onto the steps is broken up and Edge sends him head first onto the steps for a double breather.

For some reason Edge goes up, allowing Undertaker to chokeslam him off the top and through a pair of tables for the huge crash. Back in and Undertaker hits a spear of his own before grabbing the camera (Undertaker: “WELCOME TO H***!” That’s a good line but it would have been better if that was the active camera, instead giving us a shot of Undertaker shouting into a camera from the side). A Conchairto and the Tombstone finally finish Edge.

Rating: A-. These two beat the fire out of each other and it made for a great fight. They even told a story with the violence as Edge threw everything he had at Undertaker but just wasn’t good enough. That’s what Vickie Guerrero was hoping to do here and it made for a great story. Undertaker massacred Edge here and the ending felt like a total destruction, which is exactly what it should have been. Heck of a main event here and it lived up to the hype.

Post match Undertaker stands up a ladder and puts Edge on it. Undertaker climbs up a second ladder and chokeslams Edge through the mat. Fire comes up from the hole to to hammer in the symbolism and end the show.

Overall Rating: B. The last two matches delivered and thankfully those were the matches that mattered by far the most. Throw in a pretty awesome Shawn/Jericho segment and this was a good show. What mattered here was the show felt important, which is what something like Summerslam should do. WWE still needs to boost up something else other than the main stories, but for now they were enough to carry the show.

 

 

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Summerslam 2007 (2022 Redo): Return For Two

Summerslam 2007
Date: August 27, 2007
Location: Continental Airlines Arena, East Rutherford, New Jersey
Attendance: 17,441
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Joey Styles, Taz

This is a bit of a weird show as it is built around the two World Title matches, but two of the other big matches involve people who have been gone for months. We’ll be seeing Randy Orton challenging John Cena for the Raw World Title while Great Khali defends the Smackdown World Title against Batista. At the same time, Rey Mysterio and HHH are back after some long layoffs, making the build for this a bit weird. Let’s get to it.

The opening video narrates a look at Mysterio returning and the regular World Title matches, making it feel like a TV show.

Then we get the REAL opening, with the “We Can Rebuild Him” video on the returning HHH, the actual star of the show.

Kane vs. Finlay

Grudge match after Finlay accidentally knocked a cup of coffee Kane. Worked for Jericho in 2000. Kane, with his injured ribs, knocks Finlay into the corner to start and grabs a slam to keep him in early trouble. Some uppercuts in the corner set up some choking on the ropes before Kane knocks him over the top. That’s not enough for Kane, who boots him in the face, only to get hit in the ribs.

Back in and a backsplash gives Finlay two and it’s off to a half crab. Kane fights up again and it’s an enziguri to put Finlay down for a change. A one armed side slam gives Kane two and there’s the top rope clothesline to rock Finlay again. Finlay is right back with a shot to the ring but it’s Hornswoggle time.

You don’t do that to Kane, who shoves Hornswoggle down but can’t chokeslam Finlay due to the bad ribs. JBL: “He has won a WWE Championship with that chokeslam.” No, he hasn’t. Finlay unhooks the turnbuckle pad, which is enough for him to sneak in the Shillelagh (with an assist from Hornswoggle) shot to the ribs for two. That’s too much for Kane, who sends him into the post and grabs the chokeslam for the pin.

Rating: C+. This was about taking two hard hitting guys and letting them beat on each other for a little while. That’s how you start a show and it worked well enough, as they both know how to do this match really well. Not a classic opener or anything close, but it was fun to watch two guys like this do their thing.

Vince McMahon and Coach joins the General Managers in a party themed move. McMahon thinks the mother of his illegitimate son wants a payday but here is Santino Marella to suggest he is said son. That’s rejected, so here is MVP to say he wants to issue an open challenge to Matt Hardy for something other than a match. Vince is down for that, but William Regal thinks Vince’s son would be more, uh, regal. Everyone else leaves and Vince seems disturbed by the thought of being with an Englishwoman.

Video on Rey Mysterio. Did you know he’s back tonight?

Intercontinental Title: Mr. Kennedy vs. Carlito vs. Umaga

Umaga is defending and it’s one fall to a finish. They stare at each other to start and Umaga punches both of them in the face before sending them into various corners. Carlito and Kennedy need a breather on the floor and decide to go for a distraction, which goes horribly wrong as well. Kennedy saves Carlito from the running hip attack in the corner though and it’s a running boot to drive Umaga’s head into the steps. That leaves Kennedy to stomp on Carlito inside but he’s right back with a springboard elbow.

They seem to be going as fast as they can because Umaga is up, meaning it’s an uppercut from the floor to drop Carlito. Kennedy saves him from a Stinger Splash in the corner though and a shot to Umaga’s head gets two. Umaga isn’t about to get double suplexed so he suplexes both of them at the same time instead. The monster awakens and wrecks both of them, including the running hip attack in the corner to Carlito. Kennedy knocks Umaga outside…but Umaga is right back in with the Samoan Spike to finish Kennedy to retain.

Rating: C. It was little more than a Raw match and that didn’t exactly leave us with a great showcase. The good thing is that Umaga looked like a monster out there as Kennedy and Carlito combined completely failed to stop him. That’s the kind of win that will build Umaga back up even more and that is going to make the person who finally stops him look even bigger, as it should.

Undertaker is back at Unforgiven.

We recap Chavo Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio. Chavo put Rey on the shelf for knee surgery and is now laughing at the idea that Rey is coming back. Revenge seems imminent.

Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero

Rey’s torso is covered in silver paint because he can be a bit odd with some of his costume ideas. They talk trash to each other to start until Rey hits him in the face. Chavo goes after the knee but Rey slips away without much effort. The test of strength is on, allowing them to flip around a lot with neither getting very far.

Another try for the knee works better for Chavo as the leg is wrapped around the middle rope. Rey isn’t having that and kicks Chavo outside before taking him back in for some knee work of his own. There’s a middle rope hurricanrana to send Chavo flying again but he catches Rey in the Tree of Woe to go after the knee again. Said knee is wrapped around the post as we get to the meat of things. The stretch muffler has Rey in more trouble and there’s a dropkick to the knee.

The knee is fine enough to hit an enziguri but it gives out on the 619 attempt. Rey has to get to the ropes to get out of a half crab and now it’s Chavo’s turn to be in the Tree of Woe. That doesn’t last long either so Rey sends him outside for a running seated senton off the apron. Rey misses a high crossbody back inside though and it’s a Gory Bomb to give Chavo two. Another 619 attempt misses and Chavo hits a few Amigos. Rey isn’t having that though and it’s the 619 into the springboard splash for the pin.

Rating: B-. As expected, this was a good match between two talented wrestlers, though I’m still not sure how much interest there was going to be in Chavo as a focal point. He’s a very good worker, but he is more a solid hand than a featured player. That being said, this was all about Rey being back and getting to shake the rust off, which worked well in his first match in a long time.

King Booker and Queen Sharmell say Rey Mysterio’s return may have been great, but HHH’s return will be an entrance, followed by him bowing down to King Booker.

Battle Royal

Maria, Beth Phoenix, Melina, Jillian Hall, Mickie James, Torrie Wilson, Victoria, Kristal, Michelle McCool, Layla, Kelly Kelly, Brooke

The winner gets a future Women’s Title shot against Candice Michelle, who is at ringside. It’s a brawl to start, as it should be, with a bunch of brawling around the ring. Jillian gets rid of Maria and Layla is gone soon after. Brooke seems to have been tossed somewhere in there too and Kristal gets rid of Victoria (that’s an upset).

Michelle knocks Kristal out and there goes Kelly (through the ropes, because over the top is a bit too much). Torrie helps get rid of Jillian and Melina knocks out Mickie. We’re down to Michelle, Melina, Beth and Torrie, with Melina being knocked out by Michelle. Beth gets rid of Torrie without much effort and we’re down to two. Michelle tries a kick and is tossed out to give Beth the win.

Rating: D. What else did you expect here? There are only a few women who are ready to challenge for the title and Beth is about as good of a choice as you could have here. Beth is a different kind of monster and we should be in for a showdown with Candice. At least they kept this moving, as that is the best idea they could have had here.

Almost immediately as soon as the match is over, here is MVP, with a few guys carrying a cooler, to say no one paid to see these women. You need him on the show, so MVP talks about how he used to drink beer. His tastes have changed now that he is rich, but tonight it’s time for a beer drinking contest with Matt Hardy.

Hold on though, as Matt brings up MVP using a surrogate for their boxing match. Well Matt (who somehow knew this would be a drinking contest) has his own surrogate: Steve Austin. Cue Austin, who warms up for the contest with some rope running and pushups but it’s a Stunner before the first beer is consumed. A lot of drinking ensues. Nothing wrong with a surprise appearance like this, even if Austin didn’t say a word.

Wrestlemania is coming to Orlando.

Vince McMahon is still in the office with the bosses when Cryme Tyme interrupts. They think “Vinnie Mac” (Vince: “Vinnie Mac?”) might be their dad and it’s time to chant MONEY MONEY YEAH YEAH. Everyone dances around Vince, including William Regal in a hat. Cue Ron Simmons for the catchphrase.

Video on John Morrison.

ECW World Title: John Morrison vs. CM Punk

Morrison is defending and gets taken down without much trouble to start. Punk wins a grapple off to start and hits a hiptoss before hitting a triangle dropkick to the floor. Back up and Morrison hits a neckbreaker onto the apron, allowing him to hammer away with some right hands.

We hit the chinlock with an arm trap, which Tazz doesn’t seem to notice as a version of the Tazmission. A regular chinlock doesn’t work either and Punk is back up with a middle rope crossbody for two of his own. The scoop powerslam gets two more but it’s a backbreaker into a neckbreaker to give Morrison two more. Back up and Punk crotches Morrison on the top and they’re both down for a bit. Punk’s top rope hurricanrana is countered though and Morrison puts his feet on the ropes for the stolen pin to retain.

Rating: C. These two have had more than a few matches now and it wasn’t exactly anything better than their previous stuff. Punk has lost to Morrison time after time now and there isn’t much left for these two to do with each other. The other problem is that there isn’t anything else for Punk on ECW, but he has to win something soon. Not a bad match, but it could have been on ECW TV.

King Booker vs. HHH

This is HHH’s first match since January after another torn quadricep. Booker, with Queen Sharmell, thinks there is only one king around here. Naturally HHH gets a big special entrance video, including the WE CAN REBUILD HIM deal. Commentary tries to put it over like the 2002 MSG return and it’s just not there.

Booker slugs away to start but gets punched outside without much trouble. Back in and HHH gets cut off with an elbow to the head, only to get knocked right back to the floor. HHH gets to punch him in the face a bit more, setting up the facebuster for two back inside. Booker gets smart by going after the leg, only to have HHH take out Booker’s leg instead.

The Figure Four goes on so Sharmell rakes the eyes for a save. The slugout goes to HHH, and he tosses Booker outside for a whip into the steps. They head back inside for the spinebuster but Booker breaks up the Pedigree attempt. Some knees to the head set up a side slam but Booker misses the Houston Hangover. The Pedigree finishes Booker without much effort.

Rating: D+. The match wasn’t a disaster but it was far from as good as you would have expected from these two. HHH shrugged off everything Booker threw at him and then won clean in the end, which isn’t exactly surprising. I would have expected a bit more than about eight minutes, but odds are they didn’t want to leave HHH out there to get winded early. This could have been worse, though it was pretty lame, all things considered.

We recap Batista vs. Great Khali for the Smackdown World Title. Khali is the new unstoppable monster and Batista is one of the only people who can come after him. That’s a bit of a problem though, as Khali’s Claw/vice grip are rather deadly.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. Great Khali

Batista is challenging and gets pounded down in the corner to start. Khali sends him outside in a heap and hits the big chop on the way back in. That’s only good for two so Khali sends him shoulder first into the post, setting up the nerve hold. The rope is grabbed, meaning it’s a forearm to the back and another nerve hold goes on.

Cole describes the reaction as the fans getting restless, which is certainly one way to go. Batista fights up and blocks the vice grip, setting up the spinebuster. For some reason Batista goes up but dives into the double chokeslam for two. Runjin Singh throws in a chair and Khali hits Batista for the DQ.

Rating: D-. Restless would be one way to go, but the better term would likely be “bored out of their minds”. This was a bunch of sitting around doing nothing until Khali did something pretty stupid and now we are likely in for a rematch, because that is what we needed here. I get the idea of the chase, but the idea of Khali being involved in anything fast paced is disturbing.

Post match Batista gets the chair and blasts Khali for a change. JBL is livid at Khali for doing something so stupid, which is a fair assessment.

It’s back to the office, where Fabulous Moolah and Mae Young come in to see Vince. They don’t think they’re the mother of the son, but Mae wants some relations with Vince RIGHT NOW to make a new son. Mae jumps him and leaves a taste in Vince’s mouth…which he kind of likes. Coach: “That’s disgusting sir!” Vince: “Old chicken makes good soup.”

We recap John Cena vs. Randy Orton for the Raw World Title. Cena has been champion for almost a year but Orton has been on a path of destruction. Now it’s time for Cena to stop him, because no one else can do it.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Randy Orton

Orton is challenging and gets headlocked to start, with the fans really not being behind Cena. The headlock (and really blatant spot calling) continue until Orton reverses into one of his own. Cena can’t counter into the STFU and Orton stomps him down. Back up and Orton keeps it simple with a hard shot to the head which might cause Cena to miss a crossbody.

That means Orton can knock Cena off the apron and onto the announcers’ table for two back inside. The rather aggressive chinlock goes on but Cena suplexes his way to freedom. A missed charge lets Orton get in some more stomps but he misses the big knee. The powerslam doesn’t miss though and we’re right back to the chinlock. Cena tries to power up again so Orton grabs a sleeper with a bodyscissors.

More power gets Cena out of trouble, this time by driving Orton into the corner. Now the comeback is on, including the Shuffle, but the FU is countered into the backbreaker. There’s the hanging DDT as JR is wondering when the concussion is coming. The RKO is countered but Cena misses another charge and falls over the top. Back in and Cena tries the Throwback but winds up with a Blockbuster, which is quite the odd visual coming from him.

The top rope Fameasser connects and Orton is in trouble again. This time the FU is countered with a neck snap across the top. That’s enough to load up the Punt but Orton takes too long and gets pulled into the STFU. The rope gets Orton out of trouble and he grabs a quick RKO for two (that’s still a rare kickout). Cena is done playing around though and hits the FU to retain.

Rating: B. This was a big time fight and Cena felt like he went through a long battle. They were trading big moves but the ending was a bit of a letdown, as Cena kicked out of the RKO and then finished him clean. That doesn’t leave much of a future for the feud, but never let it be said that WWE won’t let something continue despite it looking like it was wrapping up. What we got was good though, as these two were starting to feel it when they went home.

Overall Rating: C. The main event helps a lot and there was enough good to make it work, but Batista vs. Khali was horrible and HHH’s return was a disappointment. It was a bunch of short matches too, with only Orton vs. Cena and Mysterio vs. Guerrero breaking ten minutes. At least we got some good stuff in there though, including a solid main event. Good, but certainly not great show.

 

 

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Summerslam Count-Up – Summerslam 2004 (2019 Redo): THUD

Summerslam 2004
Date: August 15, 2004
Location: Air Canada Centre, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 17,640
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the second biggest show of the year and that could go multiple ways. Smackdown has been getting better as of late but it’s still not very good. Raw has had its moments, but with the second biggest match from the red show being HHH vs. Eugene, they’re working underneath a pretty low ceiling. Let’s get to it.

The theme is the Summer Games, giving us an Olympic themed opening. I’ve always liked these as they’re actually rather entertaining.

The opening video looks at the big matches, but Diva Dodgeball is in the middle, even before the Intercontinental Title and Smackdown World Title matches. I’m thinking no on that one.

Dudley Boys vs. Paul London/Billy Kidman/Rey Mysterio

Spike recently joined his brothers and since there are no other teams on Smackdown, Kidman and London are still feuding with the Dudleys. Rey just walks out to his music, which takes a lot of the impact away. D-Von hammers on Kidman to start but gets armdragged down for his efforts. London comes in for an assisted moonsault and the dropkick gets two.

A rather hard clothesline takes London down and it’s off to Spike for some screaming stomps in the corner. Bubba comes in for the trash talking elbow drop and the villains start taking turns working on London. Straight right hands break up the comeback attempt but Bubba hits D-Von by mistake. Spike gets kicked away and that’s enough for the tag off to Mysterio.

The springboard legdrop gets two on Spike and a hurricanrana out of the corner makes things even worse. A reverse DDT plants D-Von and it’s back to Kidman for a top rope back elbow to Spike. Everything breaks down and a BK Bomb gets two on Spike. Bubba gets double dropkicked to the floor and Spike takes a Hart Attack of all things. The 619 sends Spike into the shooting star from Billy for two with D-Von making the save. Back in and Kidman walks into the 3D to give Spike the pin.

Rating: C. Well that was a dumb ending. You have Spike as Cruiserweight Champion and have him pin a Tag Team Champion to open one of the biggest shows of the year? You couldn’t have Rey pin D-Von here to let the fans feel good? This didn’t help anything other than building Spike up, which was done as well as it was going to be with the Cruiserweight Title win. Bad decision here, in a match that didn’t need to have this kind of a finish.

We recap Kane vs. Matt Hardy. Lita slept with Kane to get him to leave Matt alone, actually being stupid enough to believe it would work. As a result Lita is pregnant but still loves Matt. Therefore, she’s marrying the winner of this match. Somehow, not even the most bizarre stipulation in Summerslam history.

Kane vs. Matt Hardy

Matt goes straight at him to start and hits what I guess was a middle rope Side Effect for two. The middle rope legdrop to the back of the head gets the same and a weird looking tornado DDT (with Matt landing on his stomach) gets the third two. Kane finally hits a clothesline to take over but a Lita distraction lets Matt low bridge him to the floor.

The slingshot dive sets up a Twist of Fate for nine and probably the best chance Matt had. Lita throws in the bell and distracts the very stupid referee so Matt can clock Kane for two. Kane kicks him in the face and goes up but gets caught by Matt. That’s fine with Kane, who hits a super chokeslam for the pin and Lita’s hand.

Rating: D. Short and bad here, with Matt having less than no chance throughout. Matt has been destroyed and turned into an idiot this whole feud and Kane winning in the end was the only way it could go. Now just get to the wedding, which is destined to be the most entertaining part of this whole thing. The match was nothing that couldn’t have been done on Raw but with a nice looking ending. That’s also Matt’s last WWE match for about a year as he had a bad knee injury and was then released in April.

Randy Orton doesn’t want to hear about anyone being upset because tonight is a night for celebration. John Cena cuts him off and promises him some merch. He’s an Orton fan, but a quick fan poll seems to suggest that they don’t agree with him. And so it begins.

Booker T. vs. John Cena

Match #1 in a best of five series for Booker’s US Title. They slug it out to start with Cena hitting a clothesline for one. Cena gets in the Throwback for two so Booker crotches him on top to cut that off in a hurry. Booker throws in a You Can’t See Me and drops a knee for no cover. A jumping kick to the face cuts off Cena’s early comeback and it’s a camel clutch to keep things slow.

That’s broken up so Booker goes with a spinebuster and side slam to drop Cena again. The ax kick misses though and Cena hits his running clothesline out of the corner. That just earns him a flapjack into a Spinarooni but Cena hits a quick FU for the pin, ignoring Booker’s shoulder being way off the mat.

Rating: D+. That’s the third straight fast match here and that’s not a good thing on a show like this. They didn’t even have seven minutes here, which is the kind of match that could have been on Smackdown instead of wasting it on this show. Cena is likely losing the next two matches to put him in a hole which is fine, but I could have gone for a better start to this thing.

Eric Bischoff (“the head cracker in charge of Raw”) comes in to see Theodore Long and points out the revolving door to the Smackdown GM office. Bischoff advises him to enjoy it while it lasts but Teddy tells him to get to steppin.

Intercontinental Title: Batista vs. Edge vs. Chris Jericho

Hometown boy Edge is defending and Batista is on fire at the moment. Speaking of Batista, he knocks Edge off the apron during his entrance and we hit the Y2J chants early on. A hard elbow knocks Jericho down and a shoulder does it again. Edge comes back in with a chop block to break up the Batista Bomb though and it’s time for some Canadian violence on Batista. Snake Eyes gets Batista out of trouble but Jericho grabs his boot to slow him down a bit.

A clothesline puts Batista outside and leaves Edge alone in the ring….where he’s booed out of the building. Well that’s rather surprising. Batista gets sent face first into the steps and we’re down to Jericho vs. Edge in the ring. Edge gets the better of the fight but gets loudly booed when loading up the Edgecution. The Walls attempt gets a much better reaction, though Edge reversing into a small package isn’t as well received. Back up and Jericho pokes him in the eye, setting up the full Walls of Jericho.

The hold is pulled back into the middle until Batista finally makes a save with the clothesline. Edge takes Batista down with an Edgecution for two as Jericho is banged up on the floor. The spear is loaded up but for some reason Jericho cuts Edge down on the way to Batista. A spinebuster gives Batista two on Jericho but this time it’s Edge sending the big man outside. That gives us another battle of the Canadians and another loud Y2J chant. Batista gets dropkicked off the apron but the distraction lets Edge spear Jericho down to retain.

Rating: D+. The odd crowd reactions threw things off here, though they’re not quite as out there as you might think when you remember Edge teasing a heel turn as of late. Now that being said, you would think the hometown deal would be enough to overcome the recent cheating but that wasn’t the case here. On top of that, the match didn’t have a ton of heat and was a string of one on one matches instead of all three at once. Edge retaining is fine, though Batista is getting bigger and bigger every week.

We recap Eddie Guerrero vs. Kurt Angle in a Wrestlemania rematch. Eddie cheated (kind of) to win at Wrestlemania in Angle’s last match for about five months. Angle is back now, though while he was on the shelf he cost Eddie the WWE Championship so Eddie is out for revenge and to prove that he can hang with Angle on an even playing field. This has been the best set up feud for the whole show and the match should be able to live up to the hype.

Kurt Angle vs. Eddie Guerrero

Angle has Luther Reigns with him. Feeling out process to start as the odd fans are cheering for Angle here. Shockingly enough Angle is more than fine against Eddie on the mat so Eddie tries for the ankle. He’ll settle for a headlock instead so Angle reverses into a quick keylock. Eddie armdrags him straight into an armbar but it’s time to start the rolling German suplexes. That doesn’t work either as Eddie reverses the second into the ankle lock as the wrestling lesson continues. Angle reverses into the real thing but Eddie puts his own on at the same time. It doesn’t last long, though cool idea there.

A rope finally saves Eddie so Reigns gets in a cheap shot like a good lackey should do. That means another ankle lock before Angle finally switches gears a bit for something close to an STF. With Eddie down, Angle starts untying Eddie’s boot but the delay lets Eddie get in a kick to the face. It’s right back to Eddie’s ankle until Eddie gets in an Angle Slam of his own. Eddie makes his comeback with right hands but the ankle isn’t exactly sturdy.

It’s fine enough for the Three Amigos so Eddie goes up for the frog splash, only to get caught with the running belly to belly superplex. Angle’s Angle Slam is countered into a DDT and another frog splash attempt misses. The Angle Slam gets two so Angle rips the boot off to set up the ankle lock again.

The roll through sends Angle into the referee so Eddie hits Angle and Reigns with the boot. Of course Eddie throws the boot away and falls down instead of hitting a frog splash, which would have made more sense. Eddie hits the frog splash for two a few seconds later and yells at the referee on the kickout. That’s enough for Angle to pick the ankle and put on the grapevine to make Eddie tap.

Rating: C+. What exactly are they saving all the time for on this show? That’s the first match to break thirteen minutes and nothing else has even hit nine. There are three matches left on the card and nearly an hour and a half left in the show, but nothing has even hit fifteen minutes yet. Did Diva Dodgeball need the extra time?

Anyway, this wasn’t all that great as the first few minutes were looking like the start of a thirty minute classic but then they just jumped the stolen finishers (which is becoming a rather tired trope) and had Angle break the ankle down for the win. This was dying for another eight minutes of build towards the finish but for some reason this show has to go as fast as it can because of reasons.

We recap HHH vs. Eugene. HHH found out that Eugene was his favorite wrestler and agreed to use him to help get the World Title if HHH could eventually make Eugene want to quit. In other words, it was a story that was way more complicated than it needed to be and Eugene, who started off as a very fun, unique character has turned into the clueless putz that cost HHH the title. Therefore, HHH must destroy him to prove that he’s better than a mentally disabled person who doesn’t know how to wrestle but imitates wrestling he watched on TV as a kid. In the second biggest Raw match on Summerslam. Of course.

HHH vs. Eugene

No one is at ringside for a bit of a surprise. HHH wins an early slugout but Eugene elbows him in the face so it’s time head outside. That means a chance for HHH to hide behind Lilian Garcia, allowing him to take over again. It’s time to load up the announcers’ table but Eugene blocks a suplex to the floor. Some right hands in the corner set up a Flair Flop and HHH has a bad knee. Believe it or not, it’s a way for HHH to sucker Eugene in again and outsmart him for a cheap shot.

A backbreaker keeps Eugene in trouble as JR freaks out of the fake injury. He certainly must have loathed Bret Hart then. The fans think Eugene sucks so his comeback isn’t exactly well received. HHH offers a handshake but this time Eugene is ready for him and pulls it into a Rock Bottom. The People’s Elbow is countered with the spinebuster to a face pop as the trip into the bizarre continues. HHH chokes away and it’s back to the floor for a whip into the steps.

Back in and HHH slowly beats on him, setting up the sleeper because this match needed a sleeper. Eugene escapes and hits a backdrop, followed by a middle finger and the Stunner. That’s enough to send HHH outside for a breather though and here’s Ric Flair because HHH is actually in trouble. The big boot into the legdrop connects but Flair gets knocked off the apron. Eugene goes up top and dives into the Pedigree but spins out, setting up a Pedigree on HHH instead. Flair puts his foot on the rope so it’s just a two, earning an ejection. Cue William Regal to knock Flair cold with the brass knuckles as the Pedigree finishes Eugene.

Rating: D. Well thank goodness for that. After a few months of getting frustrated, the great and mighty HHH came back and beat the comedy act in a match at one of the biggest show of the year. All it cost Eugene was all of the good will he built up too, but at least HHH got the big win. This whole story was really stupid and a huge waste of time, which really doesn’t work when it boils down to HHH needing almost fifteen minutes to beat a comedy guy. It was just bad all around and didn’t help anyone other than HHH, who didn’t get that much out of it anyway.

And then, Diva Dodgeball with the Diva Search girls basically in swimsuits while the Raw women are in matching gear. Before the game starts, Coach tells us about some trash talk that happened after Raw went off the air. They proceed to play dodgeball, which is in no way shape or form an excuse to have good looking women in barely existing clothing running around. The Diva Search girls dominate and win. Trish yells about the refereeing and then blames Victoria, triggering a fight. This took up nearly six minutes, which is about seven minutes too long.

Smackdown World Title: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Undertaker

No recap for this one because the build hasn’t exactly been thrilling. JBL won the title earlier in the summer and needed an opponent so Undertaker showed up. For some reason JBL decided he wasn’t afraid of Undertaker and brought out a mini version, who Undertaker wound up beating up instead. Then JBL brought in Orlando Jordan as his Chief of Staff because he needed a designated lackey.

Undertaker knocks him to the floor early on and the beating begins, including JBL’s arm going into the steps. Back in and JBL hits a quick swinging neckbreaker before going up top for a good looking top rope shoulder. An armbar doesn’t get JBL anywhere so Undertaker pulls on the arm as well and hits Old School. Undertaker grabs an ugly triangle choke until Jordan pulls the foot under the rope.

With that not working, Undertaker hits a big boot to JBL but misses a running version in the corner to let JBL take out the knee. The leg is wrapped around the post and a Jordan distraction lets JBL smash the leg with a chair. Undertaker gets sent into the barricade so Jordan can get in a few shots before sending him inside. The fans start the Wave as the leg work continues.

The leglock goes on as JBL is smart enough to just throw on a hold and let the fans die down. It’s not exactly thrilling for the fans at home but it’s a smart idea here. Undertaker fights out and pulls JBL down into a quickly broken kneebar. They head outside again with Undertaker hitting the apron legdrop. The announcers start chanting for the Spanish table but JBL snaps the throat across the top for a breather. Again JBL takes too long going up though and it’s a superplex for two.

JBL goes right back to the knee with a spinning toehold of all things but Undertaker hits a sloppy release spinebuster for two more. The jumping clothesline puts JBL down again and Snake Eyes into…a running clothesline instead of the big boot gives Undertaker another two. The chokeslam gets a delayed near fall, which seems to shock the announcers. Who hasn’t kicked out of a chokeslam? Jordan gets up for a quick distraction and it’s the Clothesline From JBL to give the champ two of his own. The referee gets bumped though and it’s a double big boot for a double knockdown.

Jordan throws the belt in for a shot to the head and the very delayed near fall with Jordan grabbing the hand to slap the mat. Undertaker finally beats up Jordan but eats another Clothesline From JBL. With the referee still down, JBL rains down right hands in the corner which is only done to set up the Last Ride. Jordan is back in with the belt so Undertaker takes it away and hits JBL for the DQ.

Rating: D. The thing is, it’s not even the worst match in the world. It felt like it was straight out of the HHH/Ric Flair Greatest Hits playbook with Jordan being the worst Flair impersonator of all time. The leg work was fine and JBL still wasn’t horrible yet, but the ending was pretty lame with Jordan being pathetic and JBL’s finisher not being able to do much damage. It’s not so much horrible or even bad as much as it is uninteresting and uninspired, which made for a very long seventeen minutes.

Post match the beatdown continues with the bloody JBL being chokeslammed through the roof of the limo. JBL does a stretcher job, guaranteeing a rematch. Of note: at some point during the match, a fan tried to climb onto the limo and security kept him from not only, you know, climbing onto the limo but also breaking the roof and injuring himself/ruining the spot.

Cole shows us a replay and tells us to listen. There’s no sound.

Raw World Title: Chris Benoit vs. Randy Orton

Orton is challenging after winning a battle royal and pinning Benoit in a tag match. Here’s your exchange that would never happen today: Lawler: “Hey JR you got a camera on you?” JR, dripping with sarcasm: “Yeah right here in my pocket.” The fans are all over Earl Hebner with the YOU SCREWED BRET chants as they stare each other down at the bell. Benoit drives him into the corner and takes Orton down for a rather early chinlock. A test of strength goes to Orton but he misses a knee drop.

Benoit is right back with the armbar and armdrags him down into another armbar. That’s reversed as well with Orton grabbing a Sharpshooter of his own. Benoit slips out of that and tries a Crossface, sending Orton to the floor where he posts Benoit to really take over. A second posting keeps the champ down and Orton drapes him over the top rope for good measure.

Something like a DDT on the apron gets Benoit out of trouble but he misses a dive through the ropes, sending himself HARD into the barricade. Back in and Orton hits the over the shoulder neckbreaker for two, followed by the chinlock. Benoit fights up for stereo crossbodies but gets up first for a northern lights suplex. A release German suplex has Orton in more trouble and the Sharpshooter goes on.

That’s good for two arm drops until Orton makes the rope so they’re both exhausted. Some rolling German suplexes put Orton down again but he gets his feet up to block the Swan Dive (FREAKING OW MAN!). The cover is countered into a Crossface but Orton rolls out. Back up and Benoit tries it again but Orton spins him around into the RKO for the pin and the title.

Rating: B. It’s not a masterpiece but it was a good, long, well put together match with a completely clean ending that made Orton look like the better man. The new heel on top is long overdue and it’s nice to see Orton, who has gotten a lot better in a hurry, win the title here. Benoit’s title reign was very respectable and he beat HHH a few times, which is about as good as you’re going to get. It’s a rather good main event, though not exactly a classic.

Post match Benoit gets back in and shakes his hand, demanding that Orton be a man. Orton shakes his hand and Benoit leaves in peace, allowing Orton to pose to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This show is two different halves and it’s as noticeable as you’re ever going to see. The first four matches are all short and need more time while the remaining four, as in the big matches, either fail to live up to the hype or just aren’t very good in the first place. This show needed to be reshuffled a bit with some extra time being given to a few other matches. Stuff like Diva Dodgeball and the opener could have been cut to give the time to other matches. It would have done the show a lot of good, but there was only so much this show could do.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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