Wrestlemania XXI
Date: April 3, 2005
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 20,193
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz

If last year’s show was about change, this one is ten times stronger. This year is about introducing the newest generation of mega stars into the top of the card and it couldn’t happen sooner. JBL and HHH had been very boring champions with HHH cutting the wings off nearly everyone (including Orton, who turned face after taking the title from Benoit, only to drop it back to HHH a month later). With no one left, it’s time for someone new. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Battle Royal

Raw: William Regal, Tajiri, Rhyno, Hurricane, Rosey, Simon Dean, Snitsky, Chris Masters, Val Venis, Maven, Sylvan Grenier, Rob Conway, Tyson Tomko, Viscera

Smackdown: Hardcore Holly, Charlie Haas, Luther Reigns, Scotty 2 Hotty, Funaki, Spike Dudley, Billy Kidman, Doug Basham, Danny Basham, Orlando Jordan, Paul London, Heidenreich, Mark Jindrak, Booker T., Nunzio, Akio

This would become a tradition and a way to get a lot more people on the show and therefore a Wrestlemania payday. This is also interpromotional so everyone is in a red Raw shirt or a blue Smackdown shirt. Regal and Tajiri are Raw Tag Team Champions, Dean is a fitness guru, Snitsky is a freaky guy, Masters is strong, Tomko is Christian’s enforcer, Reigns is another big power guy, Jordan is a JBL lackey and US Champion, London is Cruiserweight Champion and Heidenreich is just weird. I’m not sure why Smackdown has one more name than Raw but it doesn’t really matter. General managers Eric Bischoff and Teddy Long are at ringside.

The rosters stare each other down to start and Hurricane gives Heidenreich a mask. Ever the nice guy, Heidenreich hits him in the face to start the fighting. Spike hides on the apron and we’re firmly in the part of the battle royal where you can’t tell anything that’s going on. Reigns pulls Hurricane off the top and dumps him out but a bunch of guys get rid of Reigns just as quickly.

A bunch of people go after Viscera and knock him down because they’re not that bright. Four guys hold him down and Scotty adds the Worm, only to have Masters throw out Scotty, Funaki, Spike and Kidman in a row. Well at least the ring is a little bit clearer. Haas is eliminated and a quick Regal chant goes nowhere. Nunzio is thrown under the bottom rope as the match slows a bit. Maven was eliminated somewhere in there.

Heidenreich, still in the Hurricane mask, rips the turnbuckle pad off for no apparent reason. I told you he was strange. Venis is clotheslined out by Heidenreich and Simon is out a few seconds later. Grenier follows and so does Rosey. Rhyno Gores Snitsky but Holly puts Rhyno out shortly thereafter. There goes Conway followed by both Bashams as the match is now a lot easier to keep track of. Raw and Smackdown square off again and it’s Holly planting Regal with the Alabama Slam.

Jordan eliminates Tomko and Viscera sends Akio over the top and face first onto the steps. Masters eliminates Holly who is followed by Regal. Tajiri sprays the mist into Heidenreich’s face and he eliminates London by mistake. By mistake because they’re both on Smackdown and the idea here is brand vs. brand, even though it’s every man for themselves. Tajiri and Heidenreich go to the apron and both guys are out a few seconds later. We’re down to Masters, Viscera, Snitsky, Jindrak and Booker.

Jindrak catapults Snitsky out and absolutely levels Viscera with a left hand. Masters dumps Jindrak from behind and we’re down to three but Nunzio comes back in because he was never eliminated. He actually makes it a full ten seconds before being eliminated for real and it’s Viscera, Masters and Booker to go. Booker fights out of the double team but the side kick lands on the ropes. Viscera misses a charge and gets low bridged out, leaving Booker to superkick Masters out for the win at 11:36.

Rating: D+. Not the worst battle royal here as they had a bunch of people in there but it was clearly just a way to get them on the DVD for the royalty payment. Still though, Booker winning was a good idea and it’s hard to complain about a bonus match that doesn’t hurt anything and wasn’t part of the main show.

Lillian Garcia sings America the Beautiful.

We get one of my favorite parts of this show: the trailers. The theme of this show was Wrestlemania Goes Hollywood, meaning there were several parody movie scenes with wrestlers in place of the actors. We have Eugene as Forrest Gump, Booker T. as Samuel L. Jackson from Pulp Fiction, HHH as Braveheart, John Cena and JBL as Tom Cruise and Jack Nicholson from A Few Good Men, Undertaker as Dirty Harry, Christy Hemme as Meg Ryan from When Harry Met Sally, Christian, Chris Benoit and Stacy Keibler in the interrogation scene from Basic Instinct and most of the roster as Robert De Niro from Taxi Driver.

Now we get the debut of the final trailer from Gladiator. The emperor comes down to congratulate the gladiator whose face we can’t see. The voice sounds very familiar though and he takes off the helmet to reveal Steve Austin, who describes himself as a beer drinker among beer drinkers and the master of the middle finger. He promises to create havoc at Wrestlemania tonight because that’s what he does. Good stuff here, as were all of these.

The aisle has a red carpet and there’s a movie marquee that advertises Wrestlemania XXI. It’s one of their better sets ever actually.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio

This is face vs. face as they’re the reigning Smackdown Tag Team Champions. Eddie however is a bit frustrated because he thinks Rey has been showing him up a bit lately. No superhero gear this time as Rey is in a combination Mexican/USA flag costume instead. The bell rings and Rey is already adjusting his mask. Rey flips out of a fireman’s carry and shoulders Eddie down until Guerrero armdrags him down.

A headscissors puts Eddie on the floor and it’s time to adjust the mask again. It has a Velcro hook instead of the usual buttons and that’s not going to work very well. Back in and Eddie takes him down with a wristlock until a monkey flip sends Eddie flying. A right hand knocks Rey off the apron though as the aggression is starting. Back in and Eddie gets two off a belly to back before slapping on a surfboard (which takes a good while to finally apply). Eddie has to let go and Rey fixes the mask again.

We hit an STF on Rey but Eddie doesn’t pull back on it very well. Mysterio armdrags out of an armbar and Eddie is looking frustrated. More mask adjustment sets up a flip dive from Rey, followed by more time spent fixing the thing. Mysterio tries to speed things up but Eddie drops him with an elbow to the jaw. Three Amigos are broken up but Rey gets caught in a backbreaker. Two more Amigos connect but Rey counters (adjusting the mask in the process) into the 619, only to have that countered into another backbreaker.

The Three Amigos finally work but the frog splash misses. 619 connects and Rey is bleeding from the mouth. The West Coast Pop is countered into a sweet powerbomb for two as the fans are behind Eddie. Back up and a quick hurricanrana gives Rey the pin (with one final mask fix) at 12:36.

Rating: B. Good stuff here but I think they were expecting something even better. This is what happens when you have a masterpiece like these two had at Halloween Havoc 1997: it sets a virtually unbreakable precedent and puts way too much pressure on them to top it every time they square off again. This kicked off a four month long feud between the two which produced some excellent matches, which was tragically followed up by Eddie’s death in November.

Eddie shakes Rey’s hand.

JBL and company run into HHH and Flair. They compare legacies and HHH laughs at the idea of anyone believing JBL is as good as he thinks. A future showdown is teased but thankfully this never went anywhere. Flair gets in a WOO just because.

Adam Sandler and Rob Schneider are here.

Chris Jericho vs. Chris Benoit vs. Christian vs. Edge vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Kane

Money in the Bank, which means a ladder match for a briefcase which guarantees them a World Title shot at any time in the next year. Jericho came up with this one night on Raw and others signed up over the next few weeks. This and the battle royal were a much better idea than the multi-team tag matches we sat through last year. Christian has Tomko with him. Shelton is the Intercontinental Champion and has become one heck of a singles star in recent months. Kane’s entrance is again cool as the set has flames all over it, including the ladders set up near the entrance.

Kane starts fighting in the aisle and beats up all four Canadians plus Shelton. Benjamin and Benoit suplex him at ringside but Jericho smacks Edge in the face with a ladder as the bell rings. Jericho beats Shelton up to start but stops to dive on Benoit. Christian dives on all three of his fellow Canadians but Benjamin dives onto all of them plus Tomko. Kane takes out all five of them with a clothesline from the top before hitting Edge with a fresh ladder.

Jericho dropkicks the ladder into Kane but comes up holding his leg. Shelton and Edge take ladders to the face and Edge gets a second dose. Benoit comes back in to German Jericho and the ladder at the same time but Kane breaks up the first climb. That’s fine with Benoit as he grabs the Crossface on Kane. Edge gets the same treatment until Kane hits Benoit in the face with the ladder for the save. Kane isn’t done with him as he crushes Benoit’s arm between the ladder, only to turn into a spear from Edge.

We get a quick Edge and Christian reunion as they crush Kane with ladders, much to the delight of the crowd. Shelton gets back in and kicks a ladder into Christian’s face and flapjacks Edge into the ladder for good measure. Jericho and Benjamin fight on top of the ladder but Christian sets up his own and joins them. Benoit climbs up with one arm but here’s Edge on a third ladder. Lawler: “It’s like open house at Home Depot!”

Christian takes Benoit down by the arm, Jericho gets shoved off and Shelton hits his t-bone exploder suplex to take Edge down. The ladder falls on the two of them to make it even worse. Christian bridges a ladder up against another one to make a ramp but Jericho puts him down and climbs, only to have Shelton run up the ramp and clothesline him down. Kane comes back in and cleans house until Tomko kicks him in the face. Tomko lifts Christian up ala Rhyno at Wrestlemania XVII but Kane makes a save.

Kane sends the ladder over to send Christian crashing to the floor and onto Tomko. Well it’s better than those insane crashes Christian used to take. Jericho and Kane both fall off the ladder with Kane crashing in the middle of the ring. Benoit drops a Swan Dive off the ladder to bust himself open. The bloody Canadian climbs up but Kane does the Undertaker situp, only to get headbutted back down to the mat. Benoit is alone up there but Edge BLASTS him in the bad arm with a chair, allowing him to climb up (JR: “Somebody stop him! Anyone! Even Christian!”) and win at 15:20.

Rating: A-. It’s amazing how much better these things are when you have a more reasonable number of people. Six seems to be the magic number but the later versions would have seven or eight and the whole thing would get too crowded and watered down. This was awesome fun though with some great spots that would be built on in future years. Edge getting the win is the biggest moment of his career and it felt like a huge moment. Really good way to introduce the concept.

Here’s Eugene (Eric Bischoff’s, shall we say, slow nephew) with something to say. This is his second favorite Wrestlemania moment after King Kong Bundy squashed one of the midgets at Wrestlemania III and the rest of the midgets got together like an army. This brings out Muhammad Hassan and manager Daivari, a pair of Arab American wrestlers who claimed racism was the only thing holding them back.

Hassan: “Do you know why I’m angry?” Eugene: “You don’t like midgets?” Hassan rants about all the fake people here in Hollywood and the prejudice and bigotry in the city’s history. In his way over the top voice, Hassan goes off about taking a backseat to a loser like Eugene. He could not, would not and will not stand for this so he’s going to create a Wrestlemania moment of his own. Hassan decks the injured Eugene and puts him in the camel clutch…..which brings out Hulk Hogan in the red and yellow.

Hulk cleans house with ease and the fans eat this up with a fork and spoon. Daivari’s chair shot goes very badly for him and it’s time to pose. This set up a tag match at Backlash with Hogan teaming up with Shawn Michaels. It’s a great moment and a great surprise with Hogan bringing the crowd to his feet doing as he can do better than almost anyone else. The American flag drops, just in case you didn’t know who you were supposed to cheer for. Keep in mind though: Hassan is from New York and Daivari is from Minnesota.

We recap Randy Orton vs. Undertaker. Orton had lost the Raw World Title to HHH and then lost a long feud to him, meaning it was time to give him something fresh. To get back on track, Orton turned heel again (he pretty much had to after the face turn was ruined so badly) and decided to end the Streak. Even Randy’s dad Cowboy Bob thought Randy is crazy for trying this until the RKO put Undertaker down one night on Smackdown.

Undertaker vs. Randy Orton

The druids and torches are back this year. Undertaker, with his hair past his shoulders again, glides to the ring without taking a single step. No Cowboy Bob with Orton here. Orton starts with a slap and nails a nice dropkick for one. That earns him a stiff right hand to the jaw and the RKO is easily countered as Undertaker throws him to the floor.

Old School actually connects but Orton hits another dropkick and punches him in the face. Undertaker comes right back with a side slam for two. Snake Eyes looks to set up a big boot but Orton elbows him in the face to take over. The fans are all over Orton as he pounds away with forearms and right hands. A dragon sleeper (a hold Undertaker used for a bit until it became clear that it didn’t fit him) has Orton in trouble spins around and counters with a DDT.

We hit the chinlock but Undertaker would rather not bore the fans so he suplexes Orton down instead. A powerslam gets two on Undertaker and Orton is stunned. I’m not sure why as he never won anything major with that move but that’s a young heel for you. He follows that up by being a young stupid heel as he pounds down right hands in the corner, only to get caught in the Last Ride. Orton slips out and tries an RKO but gets sent into the referee for a horrible ref bump. I mean Orton’s forearm grazed the referee’s chest and it looked like he died.

After Undertaker falls down trying another Last Ride, here’s Cowboy Bob (who might have missed his cue to force the second failed powerbomb) to knock Undertaker out with the cast (He had a very slow healing arm injury. Going on twenty years at this point.) but there’s still no referee. Undertaker gets up and tries a chokeslam, only to have Orton counter into an RKO in midair. That’s one of my all time favorite spots. Orton is stupid enough to try a Tombstone but Undertaker reverses into the real thing to put Orton away at 14:16.

Rating: B-. This show is on fire to start with the third straight good match, which is somehow a step down after a pair of really good matches. Orton looked like a star out there and began the tradition of someone wanting to break the Streak instead of someone having a personal issue with Undertaker. This would become something like another World Title match over the years as the matches would (eventually) become bigger and bigger over time.

We recap evil Trish vs. Christy Hemme. Christy was in Playboy and Trish didn’t like not being in the spotlight, setting up a title defense for Trish here. Lita tore her ACL in January to prevent another showdown with Trish and is training Christy to make us think she has a chance. The problem is Hemme is just a model and is making her debut against the best female wrestler of the generation.

Women’s Title: Christy Hemme vs. Trish Stratus

Trish is defending of course and easily kicks Christy to the floor to start. Christy is sent into the steps and this is already looking one sided. Back in and the Chick Kick is blocked, followed by Christy kicking Trish low to take over. It’s clear that she has NO idea what she’s doing though and Lawler keeps the focus on her very short skirt. Christy sunset flips her out of the corner for two and makes her comeback with some lame kicks, followed by a reverse Twist of Fate. That’s it though as the Chick Kick puts Christy out of her misery at 4:11.

Rating: D. This was about Christy looking good and Lita being there for a completely token appearance. At the end of the day, this was going to be the future of the Divas division no matter how many people were disappointed. Your wrestling ability stopped mattering because the only important thing was how good you looked in skin tight shorts. Bad match but they kept it short as they should have.

We recap Kurt Angle vs. Shawn Michaels. Angle was dominating the Royal Rumble when Shawn came in and eliminated him with a quick superkick. This wasn’t cool with Kurt and he wanted a one on one match with Shawn at Wrestlemania. You don’t have to ask Shawn twice about a chance to show off at the biggest show of the year.

Shawn Michaels vs. Kurt Angle

If this is anything less than a classic, it’s going to be a disappointment. They stare each other down to start until Shawn slaps her in the face. That earns him a takedown but Shawn makes it to the ropes. A headlock slows Kurt down and the fans seem to be on Angle’s side. Back up and Shawn takes him right back down into a headlock. A hiptoss takes Angle down again and we hit a short armscissors.

Angle comes up with the customary lifting counter but Shawn rolls into a sunset flip. Back to the headlock as they’re doing a nice job of recreating the Bret vs. Shawn story of Shawn wrestling technical when his opponents wouldn’t have expected him to go that route. A quick ankle lock attempt is countered and the Cactus Clothesline puts both guys outside.

Shawn is ticked off for some reason and loads up the announcers’ table, rolls inside to break the count (a forgotten move) and gets caught in an Angle Slam into the post. Well not really the Slam itself I don’t know how else you would call that. Kurt starts in on the back and puts on a body scissors. The fans are split as it’s time to trade some chops. Enough of that though as Kurt grabs a belly to belly and it’s time for a reverse chinlock with a knee in the back. Shawn fights up but slaps Angle for some reason, earning himself a big clothesline for two.

Kurt loads up a belly to belly superplex but gets shoved down instead. The top rope elbow misses though and Shawn crashes back first onto the mat. There go the straps but Kurt gets backdropped out to the floor and Shawn, always the crazy one, follows him out with a high cross body. Back up and the German suplex to the floor is teased again but as always, Kurt can’t quite pull it off. Mainly because of the whole death thing. Shawn kicks him low for the save instead and puts Angle on the table for a spinning splash from the apron, which DOESN’T break the table in a sick landing.

Both guys are very slow to get back in as you would expect but it’s Shawn with the forearm into the nipup to get the fans right back on his side. The elbow connects this time around but the superkick is countered into the ankle lock again. Shawn can’t roll out of it but he finally makes the rope. The Angle Slam is countered so Kurt grabs the ankle as a consolation prize. That counter is countered into a cradle for two but now the Slam connects for two.

In another awesome moment, Kurt puts the straps back up so he can pull them right back down, only to miss the moonsault. Might be time for a new strategy Kurt. Shawn loads up another elbow but this time Angle runs the ropes for a super Angle Slam. It still only gets two so Kurt yells at him, allowing Shawn to shove him away and nail Sweet Chin Music for another near fall. Both guys are very slow to get up and Shawn leaves his foot too close to Kurt, setting up the ankle lock with the grapevine for the (very) eventual tap at 27:27.

Rating: A. Outstanding match here with the athletic slugfest at its best. There’s something so great about two masters out there showing everything they could do. Shawn is at his best when he gives it everything he has but just isn’t good enough, though he would win the rematch later in the year. Great stuff here and I really don’t see anything else topping this tonight.

The guys get a well deserved standing ovation.

We get the full Basic Instinct trailer again with Stacy implying there’s something between herself and Trish.

Mae Young and Fabulous Moolah are here.

It’s time for Piper’s Pit with special guest Steve Austin. Piper thanks us for the Hall of Fame induction but wants to make some history. He’s been told that Austin is the toughest man in the WWE and he calls that bull. This brings out Austin, who Piper says is supposed to be some rebel. Piper slaps him in the face so Austin swears at him and slaps him right back. Piper: “I kind of like you!”

The WHAT chants get on Piper’s nerves quick but he learns how to talk at the right cadence. There’s a point Piper wants to differ on but the WHAT chants cut him off again. Piper says he was here when Wrestlemania didn’t have a number and was ticking Vince off when Austin was in diapers. For some reason JR thinks that’s quite the insult. Austin and James Dean have nothing on Piper when it comes to being a rebel.

It’s Austin’s turn now and he rips on Piper a bit, in time with the WHAT chants. Piper says this is failure to communicate and here’s Carlito if all people to interrupt. Carlito thinks these arguments are stupid because neither of them are cool enough for him (that’s and spitting apples at people are pretty much his entire gimmick). Austin invites him into the ring but Piper has no idea who Carlito is.

Carlito wants them both to leave and can we just get to the Stunners already? Piper steals the apple and spits some of it at Carlito. That earns him some left hands to the head as Austin just watches. Austin finally beats Carlito up, throws him to Piper for a thumb to the eye and gives him the Stunner. It’s time to drink for a good while until Austin finally Stuns Piper too. This went on WAY too long and I have no idea what they were going for but it completely missed. None of them looked like they wanted to be there and Carlito didn’t get anything out of it.

Backlash ad.

Here’s the full Taxi Driver trailer which was voted the best by the fans. The highlight is Batista turning it into a Who’s On First routine.

Akebono vs. Big Show

Why not have some sumo wrestling on the show? You win by pushing your opponent outside the circle or by knocking him off his feet. Akebono is a sumo champion and would become a full time professional wrestler in Japan soon after this. Cole and Tazz treat this as something serious but the fans clearly don’t care. After they go through all the rituals, Akebono wins with relative ease in 1:02. This really, really didn’t need to be here and was lost on the fans, which really isn’t surprising as it wasn’t exactly what they signed up for.

We recap John Cena vs. JBL which is entirely built around a culture clash. Cena won a #1 contenders tournament to earn this shot by beating Angle at No Way Out 2004. JBL is old school and rich while Cena is a brash, in your face rapper who wears throwback jerseys and hats. He had turned the US Title into a spinner belt so JBL helped his lackey Orlando Jordan take the title and then burned it (ok so JBL wasn’t all bad).

JBL got in Cena’s face and said the only way Cena’s family could pay the bills was to have his mama on her back all the time. Since they weren’t allowed to touch each other, Cena ruined JBL’s car, clothes and limousine to try to get JBL to punch him. Naturally this got Cena arrested and JBL hit him while he was defenseless. The build was good, but there’s no question that this is the second biggest match on the show.

Smackdown World Title: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. John Cena

JBL is defending and comes to the ring in a limo with a police escort. To make it even better, JBL dollars fall from the ceiling. I always liked the way JBL held the belt (clasped together but in his hand instead of around his waist). He even sends the Cabinet to the back so this is one on one. Feeling out process to start with Cena getting the better of it until he runs into a boot to the jaw to stagger him.

They trade shoulders with JBL getting the better of it by running Cena over. A big chop staggers Cena again and the champ chokes him on the middle rope. Cena’s comeback is stopped with a spinebuster and punching him in the head. A short arm clothesline (ala Jake Roberts) sets up a sleeper but Cena finally escapes with a belly to back suplex.

There’s a double clothesline to put both guys down again and it’s JBL up first. Cena takes a neckbreaker on the floor and a superplex keeps him in trouble but JBL can’t follow up. JBL eventually gets two and goes to the middle rope, diving right into a powerslam (not a scoop slam Cole) to give Cena an opening. The running shoulders and a hiptoss draw some trash talk and the fans are trying to wake up. The Shuffle connects and Cena ducks the Clothesline, setting up the FU for the pin and the title at 11:27.

Rating: D+. For what was supposed to be a changing of the guard, this was really boring stuff. JBL just could not do it in the ring again at this point and it was clear for months now. Cena winning the first title at Wrestlemania is a big deal and he did what he could but you need a better opponent. JBL had a long run and this was a pretty weak way to end it. Not that I expected anything else though. Their really violent rematch was MILES better and what this match should have been.

Cena celebrates in the crowd.

We look at last night’s Hall of Fame inductions, headlined by Piper and Hogan. They had to go in together.

Gene Okerlund introduces the Class of 2005: Nikolai Volkoff, Iron Sheik, Paul Orndorff (who points to Miss Jackie as she escorts him), Bob Orton, Jimmy Hart, Roddy Piper and Hulk Hogan. In other words: pretty much Wrestlemania I as a whole.

Wrestlemania XXII is in Chicago.

We recap the main event. Batista had been Evolution’s animal but he was slowly getting better and smarter. This scared HHH, who thought the whole thing was about him. He and Flair put together a plan to manipulate Batista into fighting JBL at Wrestlemania but Batista overheard them, leading to him beating HHH up. Now HHH has to fight the monster on his own and no one, including Cena, is hotter than Batista.

Raw World Title: Batista vs. HHH

Motorhead plays HHH to the ring and seem to forget the words as it’s a horrible rendition. HHH is also coming out first and rises up through the stage because his entrance needs to be much cooler than Batista’s. They circle each other to start and we get the big power lockup. HHH’s headlock doesn’t get him anywhere and Batista takes over with something like a powerslam.

The champ gets thrown into the corner for some right hands but HHH finally sends him out to the floor for a breather. Flair gets caught trying to sneak in a shot, which isn’t enough for an ejection but whatever. Back in and it’s time for choking and stomping, including some extra from Flair. HHH starts in on the back as this is kind of an awkward way to start. An elbow to the back clearly doesn’t make contact so HHH drops some knees instead. A backbreaker keeps up the focus and Flair gets in even more choking.

Some right hands stagger HHH but it’s a spinebuster (because that doesn’t weaken Batista’s spinebuster whatsoever) for a few two counts in a row. The Pedigree is broken up with a backdrop but HHH cuts him off AGAIN with a facebuster. HHH goes up top and dives into a clothesline followed by a side slam for two. That’s enough offense for now as Batista charges into a raised boot in the corner.

Batista comes right back with a hard whip to send HHH out to the floor but the champ sends him hard into the steps to regain control. The Pedigree onto the steps is countered into a slingshot into the post, drawing blood from HHH’s head. Back in and Batista goes after the cut with some big forearms before driving the shoulders in the corner.

The fans are trying to get behind Batista again but that HHH dominance killed a lot of the match. Flair tries a distraction so HHH can get a chair but the referee takes it away. Ric takes out the referee and tries a belt shot, only to walk into a spinebuster instead. HHH gets in the belt shot for two. Now the Batista spinebuster connects but a low blow stops the fans AGAIN. The Pedigree is blocked and Sheamus’ White Noise sets up the Batista Bomb to give us a new champion at 21:40.

Rating: C-. Screw off with HHH and his ridiculous ego. Batista won in the end but this was ALL about HHH and making sure he looked as strong as possible in defeat. The fans wanted to cheer here but it felt like every other HHH match in this era but with Batista finally surviving to win the title. The fifteen minutes of dominance here really hurt the match and that’s mainly because of HHH not letting Batista get in enough offense until the end. Couple that with HHH’s awesome entrance and this felt more like a farewell to HHH than the coronation of a new star.

Batista holds up the title to HHH and poses to take us to the highlight package.

Overall Rating: B. This is a very lopsided show as the last hour and a half is a BIG drop from the first two hours and fifteen minutes. The World Title matches just aren’t very good (much more boring than bad though) and some of the other stuff like Piper’s Pit and the sumo match was just plain awful. I’m really not sure what the point of the Pit was unless they were going for a rub for Carlito, but you would think that him beating Cena in his debut match in the fall would have accomplished that just fine.

On the other hand though, four of the five first matches range from good to excellent with only Trish vs. Christy (a four minute match with three gorgeous women) falling short. If you could cut out a good chunk of the last third, this is a MUCH stronger show and one of the better ones of all time. Considering that’s similar to what I said last year, it’s pretty easy to see that pushing four hours (or five last year) is too long for a wrestling show. Obviously you can’t expect everything to be great, but cut some of it down or improve it a lot. Still though, the really good more than outweighs the bad here and that’s always a positive.

Ratings Comparison

Rey Mysterio vs. Eddie Guerrero

Original: B-

2013 Redo: C+

2015 Redo: B

Edge vs. Chris Jericho vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Chris Benoit vs. Christian vs. Kane

Original: A

2013 Redo: B+

2015 Redo: A-

Undertaker vs. Randy Orton

Original: B-

2013 Redo: C+

2015 Redo: B-

Trish Stratus vs. Christy Hemme

Original: F+

2013 Redo: F

2015 Redo: D

Kurt Angle vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A+

2015 Redo: A

Akebono vs. Big Show

Original: F

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. John Cena

Original: D

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D+

HHH vs. Batista

Original: C-

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: B-

Overall Rating

Original: C+

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: B

Just about everything was a step lower this time.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/29/history-of-wrestlemania-wrestlemania-21-best-ad-campaign-ever/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/30/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xxi-another-new-generation/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania XX
Date: March 14, 2004
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 18,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, Michael Cole

There really was no other option for the location of the twentieth Wrestlemania. Even though it’s a much smaller venues than the stadiums they had been running, there’s something about this place that makes the show feel special. It’s the world’s most famous arena in the company’s old hometown. You just don’t get any better than that. Let’s get to it.

The Harlem Boys Choir sings America the Beautiful.

Vince McMahon walks into a dark room and a voiceover takes us into a history of Wrestlemania. I know Vince gets some flack and a lot of it is deserved, but there is no one else who should have opened this show. Again, this year’s video treats the show like the most important event of the year and so far ahead of anything else in wrestling. The tagline is “Where it all begins again” and the camera goes back to Vince, who is standing next to Shane and holding his first grandchild. That’s a very cool idea and brought a smile to my face.

The entrance is on the left of the ring but there’s a video screen opposite the hard camera showing the current match. There did need to be something there, for old times’ sake if nothing else.

US Title: John Cena vs. Big Show

And so it begins. Cena is challenging here and is still the rapper, meaning he’s one of the most popular acts on the roster. He calls Show a monkey and thinks his match is against a float in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade. The fans are more than willing to chant Big Show sucks. It’s so strange to see Cena this popular in New York. To show you how worthless the title was to Big Show, he won the belt on October 19, 2003. This is his third televised title defense.

Cena sticks and moves to start but Show throws him to the floor with ease. Still mostly uneducated, Cena tries to come back in with a high cross body and gets powerslammed to teach him a lesson. Cole describes a headbutt from Show as being hit in the head with a typewriter. Are there a lot of reports of being hit in the head with typewriters and comparisons to headbutts from large wrestlers?

Show superkicks him down and easily breaks up a sleeper attempt. Off to a cobra clutch from the champ but Cena powers up and hits a quick FU (later known as the Attitude Adjustment) for two. Cena is STUNNED so he grabs his chain for a right hand to the head. It’s just a ruse though as the referee stops him, allowing Cena to grab his brass knuckles to knock Show silly and hit another FU for the pin and the title at 9:17.

Rating: C-. The crowd reactions help this one a lot but they’re more interesting due to how loathed Cena would be in the coming years. Cena’s power wasn’t on full display here though the FU’s looked good. This was a return to form for the opening match as the fans were dying to see Cena get pushed and loved to see him take the title from Show who was wasting the title for months.

Coach is talking to various people on his way to Raw General Manager Eric Bischoff’s dressing room. Bischoff gives Coach the job of finding Undertaker, who is a Smackdown guy. Undertaker hadn’t been seen in months after Kane buried him alive, but the rumor is that he’s coming back as the Dead Man for the first time since 1999.

Evolution (Randy Orton, Ric Flair and Batista. Leader HHH is busy tonight.) talks about how it all begins again here. Orton can’t wait to break Mick Foley again. This is the part of a ten month feud where Foley was scared of losing his legacy at the hands of the legend killer Orton. He walked away multiple times but returned at the Royal Rumble to attack Orton.

The rest of Evolution beat the tar out of Foley in February and it was clear he needed help. With no one else to turn to, Foley made a call to Hollywood and the Rock came running (literally) to help his old buddy. Orton says it’s his time now and he’ll kill some legends tonight. Randy looked like a pure star here and instantly had that IT factor that you can’t teach. I completely see the potential they saw here and it’s hard to argue against charisma like that.

Raw Tag Team Titles: La Resistance vs. Dudley Boyz vs. Garrison Cade/Mark Jindrak vs. Rob Van Dam/Booker T.

Van Dam and Booker are defending and this is one fall to a finish. Unfortunately the champions have a combined version of their theme music and it really, really doesn’t work. La Resistance (Rob Conway and Rene Dupree) are evil Frenchman (well Rene is while Conway is a sympathizer) and Cade/Jindrak are your run of the mill young muscular heels. Dupree and Van Dam get things going with the champ throwing the villain around. Rene gets catapulted into a kick from Booker and Conway’s save attempt goes bad. It’s off to Bubba as the fans already want tables.

Bubba tries a little Flip Flop and Fly but gets kick in the face for his troubles. Van Dam adds one to D-Von and we settle down to Jindrak beating on Booker. Dupree tags himself in and La Resistance takes over with stomps and a bow and arrow from Conway. After far too long in the hold, Booker gets up and grabs a spinebuster, allowing the tag to Van Dam. House is quickly cleaned as everything breaks down. Cade breaks up 3D on Booker but Booker nails the scissors kick on Conway, followed by the Five Star to retain at 7:57.

Rating: D. This was a good example of everything that was wrong with the division at this point. You could have cut out at least one of these teams to make the match a lot more entertaining as well as coherent. Did anyone really want to see Jindrak and Cade in here? Jindrak was amazingly athletic but I didn’t need to see him in a title match at Wrestlemania.

Coach is going to find Undertaker and hears strange noises and banging coming from a closet. He opens the door and finds…..Bobby Heenan and Gene Okerlund trying to get their clothes back on. Heenan: “No it’s not what you think!” They were playing poker you see. The door opens again and Fabulous Moolah and Mae Young drag the guys back in. Coach walks away in a daze. JR: “Oh lord.”

We recap Christian vs. Chris Jericho. This was an awesome story as the two were tag partners who made a bet over who could “nail” Lita or Trish respectfully for $1 Canadian. Lita dropped out of the story pretty quickly but Jericho started to actually fall for Trish. She started to have feelings for Jericho too but Christian hated the fact that she was breaking up the team. Christian beat her up in an intergender match to teach Jericho (a full on good guy by now) a lesson. This started a feud between the two and the big showdown is at Wrestlemania.

Christian vs. Chris Jericho

The aggressive Jericho controls to start and backdrops Christian from the apron out to the floor in a unique spot. A springboard plancha puts Christian down but he comes right back with something like a belly to back suplex to send Chris out to the floor in a huge crash. A chinlock keeps Jericho down for a bit before they ram heads to keep him down even longer.

Jericho keeps calling him a CLB (creepy little bastard) to get on Christian’s nerves, followed by an enziguri for two. A pinfall reversal sequence goes how most pinfall reversal sequences go before Christian hits a reverse tornado DDT for two of his own. Christian heads up top and breaks up Chris’ superplex attempt by just throwing him face first onto the mat. Jericho might have tweaked his knee so Christian gets smart by putting on a Texas Cloverleaf. I could go for someone using that as a finisher or even a big time hold.

Jericho counters into the Walls though and holds on even as Christian crawls through the ropes to the floor. This brings Trish out to ringside as Christian plants Jericho with a DDT. Trish gets up on the apron so Christian drags her in. Jericho goes over to check on her and gets elbowed in the face by mistake, knocking Jericho into a rollup for the pin at 14:56.

Rating: B-. Fun match here but this was much more about the story than the action. This story worked really well all around and everyone comes out of it looking better, mainly because they took their time and let the story build instead of wedging it into a month and then doing one match followed by a gimmick rematch. It makes for a better story and the whole thing works.

Post match Jericho goes after Christian again but Trish holds him back, only to slap him into the Unprettier. Trish and Christian leave together and kiss on the stage. This gives us evil Trish which, in a word, worked.

Mick Foley says this is the biggest night in the history of wrestling in Madison Square Garden so yes he is overcome. Rock comes in to say let the emotion go because FINALLY the Rock has come back to New York City. After telling Lillian Garcia that the people’s package buffet is closed, Rock hijacks a cameraman to see Hurricane and Rosey (the Superhero In Training), Jimmy Snuka and Don Muraco and of course the people themselves as the camera goes into the arena for a second. It’s time to electrify.

Evolution vs. The Rock/Mick Foley

Orton/Flair/Batista here. This is Rock’s first match in a nearly a year and Foley’s first match since Wrestlemania XVI. Orton is Intercontinental Champion. Rock and Foley clear out all three and it’s Flair vs. Rock to start. The fans aren’t sure who to cheer for here as Flair is a heel but this is New York. They go for Rock to start as he takes over early with right hands and backdrops both in and out of the ring.

Foley dives off the apron with the elbow drop and you can tell this is going to be a hot one. Orton gets the tag so Foley comes in, sending Randy bailing to the outside. Why you would go outside against the hardcore legend isn’t clear and Foley takes over as you would expect. Mick ties him in the Tree of Woe and hands it off to Rock for what looked like a low blow. Batista low bridges Rock to the floor and drops him on the barricade to give Evolution their first advantage.

Now Flair’s chops have an effect and the strut is loudly cheered. Rock clotheslines Ric down though and is booed for the fourth straight year at Wrestlemania. Batista takes a clothesline as well and it’s back to Mick for the knee lift. Foley pounds away in the corner but Batista hits his big clothesline (a secondary finisher a few months earlier) to knock Foley outside again.

We get Mick’s double knees to the steps bump and now Orton is willing to come in. After a few cheap shots from Randy it’s back to Batista who has to be saved from the Mandible Claw. Flair again and the fans welcome him back with open arms. Ric takes a forearm to the head though and the tag brings in Rock to face Orton. Rock tries to fight three on one but walks into a spinebuster from Batista.

It’s back to Flair…..who loads up the People’s Elbow, complete with strut of course. It takes too long though and Rock nips up. Right hands and a spinebuster set up the original People’s Elbow, again complete with strut. The Rock Bottom plants Orton but Flair pulls Rock to the floor. A Batista Bomb gives Randy two and the hot tag brings in Foley to clean house. It’s Socko time but Orton grabs a quick RKO out of nowhere for the pin at 17:09. Foley is shocked at the fall, which puts Orton over even more.

Rating: B. This was great fun with Rock and Flair being the hams that only they can be. They knew they were in the big arena for the smart fans and they played right to them. The real star here though was Foley, who made Orton look like a star here, just as he was supposed to do. They would do that again the next month at Backlash in their big showdown where Foley put Orton over and made him look like a star. Orton would be World Champion in August and these two matches played a big role in getting him there.

Video on the Hall of Fame ceremony, which made its return after an eight year absence. The line of the night came from Bobby Heenan. After thanking everyone: “One thing is missing. I wish Monsoon was here.” That gets me every time.

The Class of 2004 is brought out for the audience and each gets an introduction: Bobby Heenan (playing to the crowd the entire way through), Tito Santana, Big John Studd (represented by his son), Harley Race (the fans start cheering before Gene can start talking), Pete Rose (celebrity induction and said to be incredibly humble and thankful for the honor), Don Muraco, Greg Valentine (much bigger reaction than I was expecting), Junkyard Dog (represented by his daughter), Billy Graham (loudest ovation of the group in a bit of a surprise), Sgt. Slaughter (USA chant) and Jesse Ventura.

Sable/Torrie Wilson vs. Miss Jackie/Stacy Keibler

This is a Playboy evening gown match which means you have to strip your opponents to win. Sable and Wilson had done a Playboy pictorial together but Jackie (Jackie Gayda from Tough Enough, not Jacqueline) and Stacy thought they should have been featured instead. Sable wants to just have the match without the gowns but Jackie won’t follow suit, only to be stripped by her opponents.

Jackie and Sable start and it’s quickly off to Torrie for a high cross body. Stacy comes in for a pinfall reversal sequence to show off the camera shots. We get the trademark rolling over the referee spot as Cole and Tazz are (rightfully) treating this as a huge joke. Torrie rolls Jackie up for the pin at 2:41.

Clips of fans coming from around the world to see Wrestlemania.

Eddie tells Benoit that he’s proud of him no matter what. Benoit needs the fire in his eyes though and Eddie finally gets it out of him, drawing a big smile.

Cruiserweight Title: Cruiserweight Open

This is a gauntlet match with Chavo Guerrero (with his father Chavo Sr.) defending and going in last at #10. Shannon Moore and Ultimo Dragon (a Japanese legend who trips twice during his entrance) start things off fast with some near falls until Shannon scores with a belly to back suplex. Dragon avoids a corkscrew moonsault press and grabs the Asai DDT (kind of a standing sliced bread #2) for the pin at 1:17.

Jamie Noble (a country redneck) is in at #3 and blasts Dragon from behind, only to take some rapid fire kicks to the chest. Noble comes right back with a guillotine choke for a submission at 2:15. Funaki comes in at #4 with a high cross body but Noble rolls through into a pin at 2:23. Nunzio (a stereotypical Italian) is in at #5 and lasts a bit better as the fans want their pizza. A quick rollup gets two on Noble and Nunzio gets the same off a middle rope dropkick.

Jamie sends him outside and hits a big flip dive from the top for a countout at 4:15. Billy Kidman (a talented guy without much of a gimmick) is in at #6 but Nunzio is still at ringside and pulls Noble to the floor. That’s fine with Kidman who hits a top rope shooting star (barely rotating enough and nearly breaking his neck) to take everyone down. Back in and Noble’s guillotine doesn’t work very well so Kidman goes up top and BK Bombs (sitout spinebuster) Noble for the pin at 6:06.

Rey Mysterio (dressed as the Flash this year) is in at #7 and dropkicks Kidman to the floor, only to come back in with a Sky High for two. Kidman takes him up top but gets caught in a sunset bomb for the pin at 7:26. Tajiri (a Japanese wrestler with some of the hardest kicks you’ll ever see) is in at #8 and quickly takes the 619.

The West Coast Pop is blocked though and Tajiri sprays the Asian mist, only to hit his partner Akio by mistake. Rey rolls Tajiri up for the pin at 8:36. Akio can’t go because of the mist so Chavo is in for the final match against Mysterio. A springboard hurricanrana takes Chavo down and Rey takes out Chavo Sr. for good measure. Back in and Chavo counters a sunset flip and gets the pin with help from his dad at 10:26.

Rating: D. I can’t stand matches like this one as they completely stretch the suspension of disbelief. Most regular matches take at least a few minutes but we just had eight falls and only one of them came close to two minutes. If I’m a casual fan, the only thing I know about any of these people is that Chavo cheats to retain his title. This went by way too fast and really should have just been Chavo vs. Mysterio.

We recap Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar in an interpromotional match. Goldberg and Lesnar had words at the 2004 Royal Rumble and Brock attacked Goldberg in the Rumble itself, leading to his elimination. Steve Austin then gave Goldberg a ticket to Lesnar’s title defense against Eddie at No Way Out 2004, where Goldberg of course cost him the title. Lesnar stole Austin’s ATV and Austin beat him up on Smackdown to get it back.

This set up a showdown here with Austin as guest referee to try to hold things together. The problem is word leaked that both guys were leaving as soon as Wrestlemania was over and the fans all knew about it. This could go bad in a hurry, especially in the smarkiest of all smark strongholds.

Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar

Austin is guest referee. The YOU SOLD OUT chants begin and there’s no contact in the first thirty seconds. Austin tells them to go but they stare at each other for the first minute. The fans sing the Goodbye Song and Goldberg swears at Lesnar a lot. Nothing in the first ninety seconds. Make that two minutes. The fans chant for Austin as he stares at Goldberg.

They FINALLY lock up at 2:46 as JR brags about Goldberg being a mixed martial arts aficionado. The lockup lasts about forty five seconds and then they stare at each other even more. We’re four minute into this now and the only contact has been that lockup. Another lockup goes twenty eight seconds before they break. The fans are loudly and rightfully booing now. At the five minute mark, Lesnar grabs a headlock. They trade shoulders and stare each other down again.

Another big shoulder apiece puts both guys down as we hit six minutes. Brock gets in the first strike with a kick to the ribs at just under seven minutes. A gorilla press into a spinebuster drops Lesnar but Goldberg misses a spear in the corner. The fans are all over Goldberg now as Brock hits two straight suplexes.

Off to a side choke from Brock to eat up time before they have the nerve to do a double clothesline. Goldberg comes back with more clotheslines and a neckbreaker, followed by a spear for two. Austin and Goldberg argue a bit and Brock grabs an F5 for two. Back up and Goldberg hits a big spear but is booed out of the building. The Jackhammer ends Lesnar at 13:48.

Rating: F. As much of an embarrassment as this was, it took some guts to go out there in MSG and do this on the biggest show of the year. I don’t want to imagine how bad this would have been had Austin, who was innocent in this whole mess, not been there to keep it as coherent as he did. This was barely a match but it was certainly something interesting to see, as unfair as it was to the fans.

Lesnar throws up two middle fingers (which he later said were to Vince and not the fans) and gets Stunned. Austin throws Goldberg a beer, then throws him two more after he drops the first one. Goldberg is booed out of the building and takes a Stunner, followed by Austin consuming a lot of beer.

Wrestlemania XXI is in Los Angeles.

Fireworks go off from the roof of Madison Square Garden.

Vince McMahon comes out to thank the fans for making Wrestlemania what it is on behalf of everyone who has ever performed for him and his entire family. Nothing else said here but this was a very nice moment.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: World’s Greatest Tag Team vs. Basham Brothers vs. APA vs. Too Cool

One fall to a finish. Too Cool (Scotty and Rikishi) are defending. The World’s Greatest Tag Team was known as Team Angle. The Bashams (Doug and Danny) are two guys who looked a lot alike and were some of the biggest stars in Ohio Valley Wrestling history (then developmental), yet for some reason they only had a forgettable tag run before they were out of the company.

Bradshaw and Benjamin start things off with Bradshaw shoving him around, only to have Danny Basham come in for an atomic drop. Haas and Benjamin take over on Danny but he sneaks away to make the tag to Scotty. That means it’s time for some dancing until Haas hangs Scotty over the top rope so Shelton can dive onto Scotty’s back.

Charlie slaps on a bearhug before it’s off to the Bashams for a double suplex into a double nipup. Scotty flips out of a suplex and dives into the corner for the hot tag to Rikishi, who has gone from a comedy goof to someone treated as a moderate legend for reasons I don’t quite understand. Everything breaks down and Bradshaw charges into a Samoan drop. Rikishi sits on Danny’s chest to retain at 6:05.

Rating: D. This was the same as the Raw Tag Team Title match earlier and that’s not a good thing. After the previous few matches, this really wasn’t a good choice to go with here and feels like they’re just dragging the show on even longer. The match isn’t terrible or anything but again it shows how weak the tag divisions (yes both of them) are at this point. Merging them together would have been a great idea but we were years away from that.

The champs dance a bit.

Edge is returning from his neck surgery soon.

Here’s Jesse Ventura to do an interview because this show hasn’t drawn out long enough. His interviewee tonight: Donald Trump. Donald talks about how awesome Vince is and pledges his financial support to Jesse if he gets back into politics. That would be a very, very different interview if it happened today. Another waste of a few minutes to drag this show out even longer.

Molly Holly is ready for her title shot.

JR and Lawler talk about tomorrow’s Raw a bit.

Women’s Title: Molly Holly vs. Victoria

Victoria is defending and this is title vs. hair. Feeling out process to start with Molly taking over in the corner, only to be sent out to the floor. Back in and a quick basement dropkick gets two on the champ and we hit a neck crank. A powerslam gets two for Victoria but Lawler keeps trying to talk about the evening gown match. Molly mostly powerbombs Victoria out of the corner for two but a quick backslide retains the title at 4:56.

Rating: C-. This needed more time as they were flying through the match because they only had five minutes instead of a realistic length. If only there was some other stuff they could have cut out from the show that meant absolutely nothing and just ate up parts of the show. These two were both very talented women and they could have a good match if they were given the chance.

Victoria chases Molly up the ramp and ties her into the barber’s chair for the head shaving. Allegedly that was the only way Molly could get on the show and she couldn’t sign up fast enough.

We recap Angle vs. Guerrero. Eddie won the title about a month ago but Angle attacked him soon after. Angle didn’t think Eddie was a good enough role model for the WWE due to his past drug issues. Eventually Eddie agreed to face Smackdown General Manager Paul Heyman with his hands cuffed behind his back. Naturally this brought out Angle for a beating to really light a fire under Eddie, setting up this match.

After the long video, Molly is still being shaved and is completely bald. The fans are impressed.

Smackdown World Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Kurt Angle

Eddie is defending of course and rides out in a low rider truck. They hit the mat to start with Eddie hanging with Angle at first until Kurt grabs a headlock. A top wristlock goes well for Angle and he shoulders Eddie down for good measure. Back up and Eddie nails a hard shoulder of his own but is still feeling the effects of the arm work.

Angle easily regains control on the mat with some movement so fast that Tazz can’t even call before Angle is off to the next position. A front facelock keeps Eddie down but he reverses a suplex into an armbar of his own. That’s not cool with Angle so he gets up and grabs an abdominal stretch but the champ is right back with the Three Amigos but Angle counters into the Rolling Germans.

Eddie gets to the apron though and has to hang on tight so Kurt can’t German him out onto the floor. Instead the champ knocks Kurt to the floor but misses a top rope dive, landing ribs fist against the barricade. Kurt is smart enough to stay on the ribs as he drops them across the top rope, followed by the belly to bellys. Off to a smart bearhug but Eddie pokes him in the neck (that’s a new one) for the break.

Eddie goes up top so Kurt tries to run the buckles, only to get shoved back down. The frog splash misses though and Eddie is in trouble again. Cole is AGHAST that Kurt is throwing punches to a staggered Eddie. Guerrero tells him to bring it on so Kurt tries to roll the Germans, only to get caught in a rollup for two. A dropkick looks to set up the frog splash but Kurt is like “boy you’re getting superplexed” and the corner run works this time around.

The ankle lock is reversed and the Angle Slam is countered into a DDT. Eddie finally hits the frog splash but it’s only good for two. There’s the ankle lock again but Eddie rolls him out to the floor. With Kurt down, Eddie unlaces his boot. Angle looks up from the floor and you can see Eddie panic. The ankle lock goes on again and the boot comes off. Angle has to figure out what just happened and then charges right into a small package (with Guerrero’s feet in the ropes because he has to cheat) to retain Eddie’s title at 21:04.

Rating: A. Outstanding match here with a very creative ending. These are two guys who need almost no instruction as they’re both so good that they can do whatever you ask of them and never expect anything less than greatness. The ending makes perfect sense too as Angle is all about polish and playing by the rules but Eddie changed how they were playing out there and caught Angle off his guard. Smart stuff, as Angle controlled when it was fair so Eddie cheated to retain, yet was somehow praised for it. Funny how that works sometimes.

Angle is FURIOUS.

We recap Kane vs. Undertaker. Kane hated Undertaker for abandoning the dark side and becoming the biker so Kane helped Vince bury Undertaker alive at Survivor Series 2003. This brought back the Undertaker Kane wanted, but this Undertaker wanted revenge for being buried alive. People tend to do that at times.

Kane vs. Undertaker

Kane has a cool entrance where the set, which looks like the New York skyline, starts to burn as well. This is of course trumped by the return of Paul Bearer and the torch bearing druids. Undertaker debuts his singlet top look here which he would use for the rest of his career. His hair is still above his shoulders though so it’s a work in progress. Kane insists that Undertaker isn’t real and looks like he’s about to cry. He reaches out to see if he can touch Undertaker and gets punched in the jaw for it.

The threat of a chokeslam sends Kane out to the floor and Undertaker whips him into the apron. The apron legdrop keeps Kane in trouble but he counters the Last Ride with a backdrop. Unfortunately he doesn’t quite have his placement right and Undertaker has to put his hands out to keep himself from slamming face first into the ropes.

The top rope clothesline connects but Undertaker grabs him by the throat. Kane escapes but misses a charge in the corner to set up Old School. It still doesn’t work at Wrestlemania though and Kane catches him by the throat for the chokeslam, causing him to celebrate early. Undertaker sits up and the fans know what’s coming. Kane tries a kick to the face and Undertaker gives him a look that makes Kane want to cry again. The jumping clothesline, a chokeslam where Undertaker loses the grip and the Tombstone make Undertaker 12-0 at 6:56.

Rating: D+. What did you think was going to happen here? This was a long way of saying the old Undertaker is back and that was best for everyone as the biker was long past it’s shelf life. It would take a LONG time to figure out how to use Undertaker again and it would be a rough year, but once they figured out the formula, Undertaker was gold all over again.

Side note: so was that stuff with Bischoff sending Coach to find Undertaker just to set up the Heenan/Okerlund bit? Sounds like a bit of overkill.

Backlash ad.

We recap the main event. HHH and Shawn Michaels had continued their never ending feud at the Royal Rumble where they tied in a last man standing match. Shawn said he needed one more shot and wanted it at Wrestlemania. That’s not how it works though because Chris Benoit had won the Royal Rumble and jumped to Raw for the title shot. Shawn didn’t accept this and superkicked Benoit before signing the contract himself (because that’s how contracts work). Austin, the co-boss of Raw at the time, make it a triple threat. There was really no reason for Shawn to be in this match and it really should have been one on one.

Raw World Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Benoit vs. HHH

HHH is defending and has big white boots for some reason this year. We get an old school weapons check and the fans are entirely behind Benoit. Benoit and Shawn fight over who gets to beat up HHH until Benoit tries a Crossface. HHH takes a breather on the floor until both guys are down for a bit and now it’s time to go after the challengers.

Shawn skins the cat and goes back to hammering on HHH. The high knee gets two for the champ but he has to knock Benoit back to the floor. Shawn baseball slides Benoit into HHH and takes them both down again with a moonsault press. All three get back in and Benoit has to break up a Pedigree to Shawn. Michaels is sent shoulder first into the post but the champ ties Benoit in the Tree of Woe and whips Shawn hard into him. It’s already time for the forearm and nipup but Benoit is ready for him and sends Shawn out to the floor.

The champ gets rolled with some Germans but Shawn crotches Benoit on top. Sweet Chin Music misses the champ and Shawn gets caught in a DDT. That earns HHH a Crossface until Shawn makes the save. Shawn actually tries a German on Benoit and the fans ROAR when Benoit reverses into a trio of them. The Swan Dive gets two on Shawn and all three are down. Benoit is knocked to the floor so we can get the Shawn vs. HHH quota out of the way. Sweet Chin Music is good for two with Benoit making a last second save.

All three head outside and you can hear the impending sounds of tables cracking. It’s back inside first though and Benoit is catapulted into the post to bust him open. The Crossface goes on again but HHH grabs the hand to stop the tap. They go outside again with Benoit’s shoulder meeting the steps and now it’s announcers’ table time. A double suplex puts Benoit through the table and Shawn’s blood is all over his chest.

So it’s HHH vs. Shawn again, which JR calls ten years in the making, even if HHH hasn’t worked here for nine years yet. JR is screaming for an EMT for Benoit as a cameraman gets taken out. HHH is whipped into the steps and the fans pick Shawn of their remaining options. The champion is busted too but a quick Pedigree puts both guys down. Somehow Benoit saves Shawn again before Michaels falls to the floor.

Benoit puts HHH in a Sharpshooter and pulls him back to the middle of the ring until Shawn superkicks Benoit down. JR’s voice is going quickly as all three are down again. Benoit dumps Shawn to the floor and counters the Pedigree into the Crossface. HHH is almost out but he kicks backwards, only to have Benoit hold on and crank back on it right in the middle of the ring for the submission and the title at 24:07.

Rating: A+. Do you really have to ask here? This is the best triple threat match of all time with all three guys doing exactly what they needed to do as well as they could do it. It was really hard to believe that Benoit wasn’t going to win in the end but they came as close as they could have to make me think it might not happen. Outstanding match here and exactly how Benoit should have been put over on the grandest stage of them all in the main event of Wrestlemania. It doesn’t get bigger than that, period.

Benoit celebrates and here’s longtime friend Eddie Guerrero comes out to hug him as confetti falls to end the show.

The Vince dark room video and part of his speech take us to the highlight package.

Overall Rating: A-. Oh they were close with this one but there’s about an hour long stretch in the middle that goes from worthless to trying to cram too much in there to…..whatever Goldberg vs. Lesnar was to another lame Tag Team Title match and it really drags down what could have been one of the best of all time. I mean, did we need both Tag Team Title matches and the lingerie stuff? The appeal is obvious but this show needed a few more edits to get it down from FOUR AND A HALF HOURS.

Now that being said, you’re not going to find a better one two combination than Angle vs. Guerrero and the triple threat for a very long time and that’s more than enough to carry the show. Couple those matches with some other REALLY fun stuff like the Christian vs. Jericho match and a fun outing from Cena plus the great handicap match and you have a great show. If this was about forty five minutes shorter, it could be up there with XVII and XIX as one of the best ever. Unfortunately there’s too much clogging it up and that brings the show far lower than it should be. Watch it with a remote to fast forward and you’ll have a blast.

Ratings Comparison

John Cena vs. Big Show

Original: C-

2013 Redo: C

2015 Redo: C-

Booker T/Rob Van Dam vs. Garrison Cade/Mark Jindrak vs. Dudley Boys vs. La Resistance

Original: D

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

Christian vs. Chris Jericho

Original: B

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: B-

Evolution vs. The Rock/Mick Foley

Original: A

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: B

Torrie Wilson/Sable vs. Stacy Keibler/Miss Jackie

Original: F

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

Cruiserweight Open

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: F

2013 Redo: E

2015 Redo: F

Too Cool vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team vs. Basham Brothers vs. APA

Original: D

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

Victoria vs. Molly Holly

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: C-

Eddie Guerrero vs. Kurt Angle

Original: A

2013 Redo: A

2015 Redo: A

Undertaker vs. Kane

Original: D

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D+

Chris Benoit vs. HHH vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A+

2015 Redo: A+

Overall Rating

Original: B

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: A-

That’s as close to identical as you’re going to get.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/27/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-20-where-it-all-begins-again-with-two-dead-guys/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/29/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xx-nearly-a-masterpiece/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania XVII
Date: April 1, 2001
Location: Reliant Astrodome, Houston, Texas
Attendance: 67,925
Commentators: Jim Ross, Paul Heyman

This is one of the rare shows that is almost universally praised. A lot of this is due to the atmosphere around this time. WCW has gone under and wrestling was entering a new era with the WWF in particular seeing themselves as the ultimate victors in a long war against their greatest competition. This show is the reward for everything they’ve done to get here. Let’s get to it.

Sunday Night Heat: Steve Blackman/Grandmaster Sexay vs. X-Factor

X-Factor is a three man team made of X-Pac, Albert (the odd man out here) and Justin Credible (former ECW and WWF wrestler). Blackman and Sexay aren’t a regular team but Scotty is out with a neck injury. Earlier today, Sexay recruited Blackman to dance and the eternally serious Steve actually agreed. Before the match, Blackman actually lives up to his promise and it’s better than I was expecting.

It’s a brawl to start and the fans are already some of the loudest I’ve ever heard. Albert gets in a shot to Sexay, setting up a big spinning kick from X-Pac. Sexay clotheslines both of them and it’s off to Blackman for his martial arts. Everything breaks down and a double superkick puts Blackman away at 2:44. Not a bad little match actually.

The opening video makes Wrestlemania seem almost like a religious experience. People around the world are shown watching (On televisions that probably don’t have pay per view, including one couple watching in the back of their car. I’m also not sure why they showed a sad clown or women dancing in a field.) as Freddie Blassie narrates about how this is the night where moments and legends are made. This is one of the first years to make Wrestlemania out to be exponentially bigger than anything else in the WWF and it really adds a lot to the show.

The Astrodome looks amazing with a sea of people and the very cool looking ceiling with daylight still coming in. The ramp is really long as well which makes for some lengthy entrances.

Intercontinental Title: Chris Jericho vs. William Regal

Jericho is defending. Regal (who comes out second) is WWF Commissioner and Jericho found him very boring. This didn’t set well with Regal, who started tormenting Jericho by putting him in various handicap matches, such as against the entire Right to Censor or one on two against the Dudley Boyz. Jericho relieved himself in Regal’s tea and dressed up as Doink the Clown (I still don’t quite get that one) to get on Regal’s nerves. Regal attacked Jericho and injured his shoulder so the champion isn’t totally healthy.

They start fast with Jericho hitting a forearm and spinwheel kick to knock Regal to the floor, setting up a nice plancha. Back in and Regal (with his chest blood red from some chops) has to escape a Walls of Jericho attempt and sends the left shoulder into the post. That shoulder wasn’t injured coming in but maybe Regal just wants to keep them even. Regal takes the turnbuckle pad off like a true villain is supposed to do. This is before he had VILLAIN written on his trunks as he was still just a friendly (yet evil) British ambassador.

A quick Lionsault attempt hits knees so Regal flips Jericho over with a release German suplex. Jericho misses another charge and almost goes head first into the post, setting up a nice top rope butterfly superplex from Regal. These are some hard hitting shots and both guys are already looking banged up. The arm injury won’t let Jericho hook the Walls and Regal grabs a modified Regal Stretch (similar to the STF), sending Chris right to the ropes. Back up and Jericho rams Regal into the exposed buckle (the announcers don’t seem to notice), setting up the Lionsault for the pin to retain at 7:08.

Rating: B-. This was two guys who didn’t like each other beating each other up and the fans were loving every bit of it. Regal was much more of a character than a wrestler at this point but he could still get in there every now and then for a physical match like this where he did horrible things to someone’s limbs. Jericho was more than capable of working that style and we got a good match as a result.

Shane McMahon in his WCW limo arrives.

Bradshaw is worried about Tazz not being around for a six man tag and gives one heck of a speech about what this building and Wrestlemania mean. That’s enough for Faarooq and they’re ready to go.

Tazz/APA vs. Right to Censor

The Acolytes are now the Acolyte Protection Agency (“We need beer money!”). The Right To Censor (RTC, comprised of leader Steven Richards, Bull Buchanan, Goodfather (the gimmick change I mentioned from last year.) and Val Venis.) is a censorship group parodying the Parents Television Council who had given the WWF headaches for years over what they considered immoral programming. Richards and company didn’t like the fact that the APA drank beer and since they weren’t big enough to go after Austin, they went after Smackdown commentator Tazz instead.

Everyone brawls to start and Buchanan hits his top rope clothesline so Faarooq brings in Tazz. The numbers get Tazz in trouble too and he’s whipped so hard into the ropes that he falls face first onto them instead of turning properly. Goodfather scores with the Ho Train but misses a Vader Bomb, allowing Bradshaw to come in and clean house. Native Texas Bradshaw picks the RTC apart with Venis getting the worst of it with fall away slam and belly to back superplex. Goodfather misses another Ho Train and Bradshaw’s big clothesline is good for the pin at 3:53.

Rating: D+. Totally fine match here to fill in a little time. It’s nothing that couldn’t be done on Raw but they kept it quick and let a guy from Texas beat a team that the fans couldn’t stand. That’s how to keep a hot crowd even hotter and it worked very well here. Tazz never did much in the WWF and his best years were behind him but he was fine for a tough guy role like this.

There’s a special Wrestlemania magazine.

Trish (now the evil Vince’s mistress) wheels in a catatonic Linda (who Vince had put in a special home to prevent her from meddling while he had his affair) but runs into Stephanie (Vince’s little girl again who talks down to Trish like a slave). Stephanie says Linda must be happy that she had one child that came out ok. Trish is told to have plenty of champagne and strawberries to celebrate Vince’s victory with and Stephanie even throws in a tip on how to crack the ice properly. You can see that Trish isn’t going to take much more of this.

Hardcore Title: Raven vs. Kane vs. Big Show

Raven is defending and Heyman’s advice is to run as fast as he can. Kane comes out first and Raven uses all the weapons he brought with him to little success. Big Show, in his tights that looked like a woman’s one piece swimsuit, comes out a few moments later. Kane isn’t one for tardiness so he throws Raven outside takes Show down with a top rope clothesline for two.

They’re quickly in the crowd and then backstage because there’s no point in trying to make this a regular match. Raven tries to attack Kane with a sign but gets thrown halfway through a wall. Show slams Kane onto some wooden pallets and chases Raven into a caged off storage area. A padlock doesn’t do any good as Kane catches up and rips the door off but Raven chokes him with a gardening hose.

Kane isn’t happy and breaks down part of the fence despite being a few feet from the door. He doesn’t have to be so destructive. As I say that, Kane throws Raven through a window. Show isn’t pleased with this destruction and knocks Kane through a door into a dressing room. They grab each other by the throat and fall into another little room where Raven shows up and hits Show with a card table. These people have no respect for private property.

Now it’s time for a golf cart chase (Which according to Raven was supposed to go all around the building in a Benny Hill style comedy bit. Instead they crashed the carts right before they hit some cables which could have taken the show off the air.) but Kane catches them and they fight through the Snapple table. They wind up on the stage with Show pressing Raven over his head, only to get kicked in the face by Kane, knocking both Show and Raven through part of the set. Kane isn’t done though as he dives into the hole with an elbow to pin Show for the title at 9:18.

Rating: C+. That’s probably a bit high but I had fun with this. They did some creative stuff and didn’t bother trying to make this anything it wasn’t. It’s an entertaining match and let the power guys do their stuff while Raven ran around getting in shots where he could. This is the only way to make the title fun more often than not and I had a good time here.

Kurt Angle is zoned in on Chris Benoit and freaks out friends Edge and Christian. It’s amazing to see Angle in his different modes and makes me appreciate his abilities even more.

Jimmy Snuka is at WWF New York (a WWF themed night club/restaurant).

A fan from Australia is here. It’s kind of amazing how far people will go to see something they love.

The Rock has just arrived.

European Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Test

Eddie is challenging and has Saturn, in a big furry white hat, in his corner. There isn’t much of a story here. Eddie just started going after the title one day and attacked Test when he was guest refereeing one of the champ’s matches. Heyman tries to explain that Texas is part of Mexico and JR clearly doesn’t want to hear this. Test takes over with a quick layout powerbomb for two and Eddie bails to the floor. Back in and a good looking gorilla press sends Eddie face first into the buckle.

Heyman laments Saturn taking his hat off as Eddie can’t get a top rope hurricanrana. Test scores with a top rope back elbow to the jaw (Jericho used the same move earlier. It must be a Canadian thing) for two but he misses a big boot and gets his foot caught in the top rope. The match stops cold as it’s kind of hard for a 6’8 man to do much when his leg is caught and he’s hanging upside down.

Saturn and Guerrero try to get in a few shots to keep the match from falling apart even further. Eddie finally has to help the referee get Test’s leg free and thankfully JR points out that Eddie can’t win the title with Test in the ropes. What an embarrassing moment for Test, even if it wasn’t his fault. If nothing else Guerrero has a target on the ankle but he goes for a sleeper instead.

Test fights up again and grabs a tilt-a-whirl helicopter bomb but Saturn sneaks in for the Moss Covered Three Handled Family Gradunza (it’s a fisherman’s neckbreaker). Test is up at two and gets in a pumphandle powerslam for the same. Saturn comes in again and takes a big boot to the air in front of his face but Malenko runs out for a distraction, allowing Eddie to hit Test with the belt for the pin and the title at 8:07.

Rating: D+. Again this was fine but that tieup in the ropes killed the momentum they had going. Test was little more than a midcard guy at this point but Eddie was getting more and more over every week. Unfortunately he was also getting more and more into substance abuse and would be gone by the end of the year for a long time.

Mick Foley promises that Vince firing him will have no bearing on him being special referee for Vince vs. Shane tonight. He’ll call it right down the line, and he’s going to do that right here in Houston, Texas! I love cheap pops.

Austin arrives nearly an hour into the show.

Kurt Angle vs. Chris Benoit

This was literally thrown together on Raw six days before the show when both guys had nothing else to do. Angle says he isn’t a fan of Texas because its flag is missing 49 other stars. Oh and people here need to stop wearing the cowboy hats because they’re not seven years old anymore. Angle scores with two very quick takedowns to start but Benoit gets out of them with some incredibly fast counters to get us to a stalemate.

They hit the mat again and go for the legs but roll into the ropes for another break. The fans are all over Angle and he has to get to the ropes to escape a Crossface twice in a row. Back in and Benoit tries a third straight Crossface so Kurt punches him in the face for the first real advantage.

Kurt sends him hard into the steps and it’s time for the suplexes. Benoit tries some chops so Kurt calmly throws him flying with an overhead belly to belly. Some elbows to the face have better effect for Benoit and he goes back to a superplex for two. Now it’s time for Benoit to roll some Germans before he puts Angle in the ankle lock for a change. Angle reverses out of that into a Crossface on Benoit but Chris gets to the ropes.

The referee gets bumped because of course he does and Angle taps to the Crossface with no referee because of course he does. The Angle Slam gets two on Benoit but he gets his knees up to block the moonsault. Now it’s Benoit with the Swan Dive for two, meaning it’s time for a suplex. Angle counters with a low blow into a rollup and grabs the tights for the pin at 14:02.

Rating: A-. This is a pairing that never fails to work and somehow this is nowhere near their best match ever. Both guys looked awesome out there and the amateur stuff at the beginning is some of the best you’ll ever see. Benoit was one of the few people who could hang in there against Angle and he made Kurt look like he was really sweating. It’s a great story as well with Benoit matching him move for move until Angle had to cheat to win. Great stuff.

Regal goes into his office (sporting the awesome Wrestlemania X7 baseball jersey) and finds Kamala (a legend here for the gimmick battle royal later on) on his desk rubbing a picture of the Queen of England on his stomach. I really don’t think there’s anything I can add here.

Video on the WWF going to Fort Hood for a pep rally with the military. There was a parade with a cadence for Undertaker and the wrestlers all got plaques. Angle of course wanted a medal instead. This was cool stuff and something that would be amplified by the Tribute to the Troops show in a few years.

Angle says he proved that he’s the best when Benoit comes in and puts on the Crossface to make Kurt tap again.

We recap Chyna vs. Ivory (also part of the RTC). Chyna injured her neck in a feud against the RTC, who hated the fact that she posed for Playboy. Chyna destroyed Ivory at the 2001 Royal Rumble but hurt her neck before she could win the Women’s Title. This is the rematch and Chyna has signed away her right to legal recourse if she hurts her neck again.

Women’s Title: Ivory vs. Chyna

Ivory is defending and Chyna has that fireworks gun again. An early belt shot puts Chyna down and Ivory (described as looking like Lilith Sternin-Crane by JR) hits some very weak forearms to the back. Chyna grabs a kick to the leg and throws Ivory away with ease. Some clotheslines set up a powerbomb but Chyna picks Ivory (further described as a yapping female dog by JR) up at two. Instead a gorilla press drop completes the squash and Chyna is champion at 2:39. This is the most logical way to go with this match as there was no way anyone was going to buy Ivory putting up a fight against Chyna here.

Trish assures Vince that she doubled Linda’s medication for tonight.

We recap Vince vs. Shane. Vince went on a power trip and Shane came back to take him out for cheating on Linda. This led to a street fight at Wrestlemania but Shane upped the ante by buying WCW out from under Vince six days before this show. This is a match with a very deep backstory and a bunch of stories are going to be intertwined.

Vince McMahon vs. Shane McMahon

Street fight. Mick Foley is guest referee due to a contract he signed back in December (when he as still Commissioner), allowing him to pick whichever match he wanted to at Wrestlemania. Shane says hi to some WCW wrestlers in a sky box, including Lance Storm, Stacy Keibler, Mark Jindrak and Hugh Morrus. This doesn’t exactly instill confidence in the future for the company if those are the representatives. Stephanie is with Vince but Trish and Linda aren’t here yet.

Vince hammers Shane down in the corner to start until a clothesline and some elbows get Shane out of trouble. Stephanie comes in to break it up and slaps Shane in the face. That’s it for her right now so Shane follows Vince outside and beats on him with a sign. A nice clothesline off the barricade drops Vince again and Shane follows up with some good looking kendo stick shots to the back.

Dancing punches drop Vince again and it’s time to load up the Spanish announcers’ table. A sick sounding monitor shot to the head knocks Vince silly and Shane jumps to the top rope (literally). Shane tries a great looking flying elbow but Stephanie pulls Vince off the table, sending Shane through the table in a glorious crash. Cue Trish pushing Linda’s wheelchair down the aisle as we hit the second act.

Trish helps Vince up but slaps him to turn face, triggering a catfight with Stephanie. Unfortunately Trish has no idea what she’s doing yet so it’s your standard catfight until Foley pulls them apart. Stephanie slaps him too and it’s time for a chase up the aisle, with Stephanie doing her horrible acting on a fall (her arms were in the air to catch her balance before she even tripped), allowing Trish to get closer to her as they leave the arena. Back at ringside, Vince calls Linda a very bad name but Foley steps between them.

That earns Mick a chair shot to the back and now Vince can do what he wants. First he puts Linda in the corner in a regular chair before throwing Shane (who is still down from that crash) inside as well. Some trashcans to the head knock Shane even more out of it…..and Linda stands up, drawing one of the biggest reactions of the night. A kick between Vince’s legs draws an even bigger ovation.

Foley gets back in and pounds Vince down in the corner, allowing Shane to debut the Coast to Coast (A dropkick from one corner across the ring to another. Rob Van Dam calls it the Van Terminator but Shane didn’t even use a springboard. Again: that’s incredible athleticism.), driving a trashcan into Vince’s face for the pin at 14:12.

Rating: C+. This isn’t a great match but it’s some of the most intricate storytelling as you’ll ever see in WWE. There are an astounding five stories (Vince vs. Shane, Trish and Vince, Stephanie vs. Trish, Vince and Linda and Vince vs. Foley) all being paid off in one match. That just does not happen in wrestling and it’s even more impressive when you saw it all building over the previous months.

Yesterday at Axxess, the Hardys said the feud with the Dudleyz and Edge and Christian ends with TLC II.

Tag Team Titles: Edge and Christian vs. Hardy Boyz vs. Dudley Boyz

The Dudleyz are defending and this is tables, ladders and chairs, meaning a ladder match with even more carnage. Just like last year there isn’t a big backstory other than they’ve been trading the titles for over a year (since February 27, 2000, only three other teams had held the titles for a combined 63 days) and this is the big final match.

Edge and Christian get thrown to the floor to start and the other teams slug it out in the ring. The Canadians come back in with the ladder to clean house and even tie Matt in the Tree of Woe to stand on his crotch. Jeff gets back up and dropkicks Edge off the ladder and the Hardys baseball slide another ladder into the Dudleys’ faces. The legdrop/splash combo crushes Christian and Edge takes a What’s Up from the Dudleys.

It’s table time but for some reason D-Von isn’t happy with one of the tables that was set up at ringside. Two tables are brought in with one being set up in the corner. Edge is laid on one of the tables and Jeff (who walks under a ladder to get back in) gets powerbombed through Edge in a big crash. Heyman tries to explain the history of the Dudley Construction Company and again JR is not amused. On the other hand, he is interested in Bubba and D-Von stacking up four tables in a two by two pile.

Back in and there are two ladders set up but Bubba grabs a third and BLASTS Matt in the head with it. That even made JR gasp. All six go up on the three ladders and it’s time for the falling. Christian and Matt go down first with Christian again doing the insane fall from the ladder to the floor with Matt being smart enough to land on the ropes. Jeff and D-Von hit the ropes as well while Bubba and Edge knock each other backwards. Christian, somehow without a broken hip, sets up another table on the floor.

Cue the Dudleys’ cousin Spike, a small guy who was taken out by Edge and Christian’s friend Rhyno, with some Dudley Dogs (a run up the corner into a Diamond Cutter) for Edge and Christian with the latter going through the table at ringside). This brings out Rhyno, an explosive powerhouse, to clean house with the ladder and a bunch of Gores, including one to put Matt through a table in the corner.

Now it’s Lita (Matt’s girlfriend) to pull Edge off the ladder and take Rhyno out with a top rope hurricanrana. Spike hits Rhyno with a chair to knock him into the ladder and put Edge down again. Lita chairs Spike in the head and takes her shirt off, only to walk into 3D. Edge and Christian take the Dudleys out with chairs….and it’s time for the big ladder. There’s no way this is going to end well.

Rhyno and Spike are laid across tables in front of the big ladder and Jeff goes up for an insane Swanton (The same as last year. Notice that they got this out of the way quickly so we can get to this year’s even bigger spot.) through Rhyno and Spike (In theory at least as Rhyno is barely touched and Spike, who might weigh 140lbs, takes almost all of it. Rhyno’s table doesn’t even break).

The big ladder is brought into the ring and it’s D-Von and Christian climbing up, only to have Matt move the ladder, leaving the two of them hanging from the belts. That goes as well as you would expect and Jeff tries to tightrope walk across the top of some ladders but they topple over for the closest thing to a botch in this whole match. Jeff is left hanging from the belts trying to get his feet on a ladder as Edge climbs the big ladder.

Bubba pulls Jeff’s ladder away and lets him swing forward, right into the biggest spear of all time as Edge dives off the big ladder and hits Jeff in perfect stride. That’s the spot that made Edge a star and you still see it on highlight reels to this day. As soon as we look at the replays, Bubba and Matt climb the big ladder, only to have Rhyno shove it over, sending the two of them through the four tables in an even bigger crash. Back in and Rhyno puts Christian on his shoulders for the climb up and the titles at 15:41.

Rating: A+. Carnage, violence, destruction. Pick a few more words like that and you’ll get close to what we had here. This was one of the wildest matches you’ll ever see with all nine people taking bump after bump as they got bigger and bigger every time. This somehow topped last year’s triangle ladder match and the first TLC match, which both set what seemed to be unreachable bars. The last few moments of the match with the spear and the double stack of tables are as violent a stretch as this company has ever had, save for maybe Mankind vs. Undertaker in the Cell. Another must see match.

Axxess video.

The new attendance record is 67,925, meaning we get some more awesome wide shots of the crowd.

Gimmick Battle Royal

Luke, Butch, Duke Droese, Iron Sheik, Greg Valentine, The Goon, Doink the Clown, Kamala, Kim Chee, Repo Man, Jim Cornette, Nikolai Volkoff, Michael Hayes, One Man Gang, Gobbledy Gooker, Hillbilly Jim, Brother Love, Sgt. Slaughter

I think you get the idea here. Mean Gene Okerlund and Bobby Heenan come out to do commentary to make this even better. Heenan looks genuinely thrilled to be back. Droese is a wrestling garbageman, the Goon is a wrestling hockey player (a gimmick which was originally planned for Chris Jericho), Kim Chee is Kamala’s handler, Hayes is a legendary heel and the leader of the Freebirds, Gooker is a dancing humanoid turkey and Tugboat was Typhoon’s original character.

Everyone brawls to start and Repo and Gooker are out very soon. There go Tugboat and Earthquake, followed by Kamala eliminating his own man Kim Chee. Luke and Cornette follow them out and Droese is gone a few seconds later. Volkoff and the Goon go out at the same time. Butch is tossed as well. Doink gets eliminated and the fans are devastated. Hayes and the Gang go out off camera and Slaughter dumps Kamala to get us down to Love, Slaughter, Jim and Sheik. Slaughter dumps Love, Jim throws out Slaughter and Sheik, who can’t take a bump to the floor, eliminates Jim to win at 3:03.

Rating: A. The match was just an afterthought as the entrances were the real appeal here. This was nothing but a nostalgia match and they nailed it with a bunch of fun characters getting one last hurrah at Wrestlemania. You might have noticed the eliminations and I wasn’t skipping anything in between. Good stuff here and a really fun with the fans eating it up.

Slaughter gives Sheik the Cobra Clutch one last time.

We recap Undertaker vs. HHH. This was set up really well with HHH saying he had beaten everyone there was to beat, drawing out Undertaker to simply say HHH had never beaten him. This led to a kind of lame restraining order story from Stephanie but Kane kidnapped her instead, forcing Regal to make Undertaker vs. HHH for Wrestlemania. HHH responded by wrecking one of Undertaker’s bikes, which is the last thing you wanted to do around this time. This is when HHH was near the peak of his awesome heel run, having beaten Austin 2/3 falls at No Way Out so Undertaker is probably the underdog coming in.

HHH vs. Undertaker

Motorhead plays HHH to the ring in a really cool entrance. A wide shot of the arena shows how big the set really is as HHH is just a blip in front of the curtain. Undertaker might one up HHH’s entrance by gunning his motorcycle down the ramp, which is actually long enough to get some speed going. A quick Undertaker pose is the extent of the preliminaries and the slugout is on outside. Undertaker throws him through the makeshift Spanish announcers’ table and we get the opening bell.

HHH loses a slugout and gets powerslammed but he breaks up Old School. I’m not sure what tipped him off: Undertaker standing on top and looking at the crowd or shouting OLD SCHOOL before he went up top. A neckbreaker gets three straight near falls on Undertaker and HHH shoves the referee to no avail. It’s already time for the sledgehammer but the referee takes it away.

The Pedigree is countered with a catapult but it takes out the referee. There’s the chokeslam for two and Undertaker isn’t happy so he lays out the referee again. With no one to stop them (like many people could), it’s time to go into the crowd. They brawl to the technical area with Undertaker knocking him around the production tower.

HHH finds a chair and destroys Undertaker but he takes too long with a big swing, allowing Undertaker to grab him by the throat for a terrifying chokeslam off the tower. The visual is kind of ruined as we see HHH laying on a big pad but it looked great until then. Undertaker makes up for it by dropping an elbow off the tower and beats up the EMTs who dare try to help HHH.

They go back to the ring where the referee hasn’t moved after nearly eight minutes. It’s sledgehammer time again but HHH saves himself with a low blow. They slug it out some more and Undertaker grabs a Tombstone but the referee is STILL down. It’s been ten minutes now man. I know Undertaker is tough but it was just a forearm to the head and an elbow drop.

The Last Ride (an elevated powerbomb) is loaded up but HHH grabs the sledgehammer and blasts Undertaker in the head for a VERY close two. That was one heck of a near fall. Undertaker is busted open so HHH hammers away in the corner, only to have Undertaker come out with the Last Ride for the pin at 18:17.

Rating: A. Another great brawl here with both guys beating the tar out of each other for nearly twenty minutes. The referee being out cold that long was a stretch (and no medical assistance was a bit ridiculous) but it let the match make more sense. This was when HHH could do no wrong and Undertaker always makes it work at Wrestlemania. Really good stuff here and a forgotten classic.

Of note: JR says Undertaker is 9-0 at Wrestlemania. This is the match that really made the Streak a thing for the first time.

A fan won a contest to get tickets to the show.

Rock and Austin are ready.

We recap Austin vs. The Rock. I’ll leave out the pretty worthless part of Vince making Austin’s wife Debra manage the Rock and thankfully it was only mentioned in passing on the show. Rock became the biggest star in the company in Austin’s absence but Austin came back and won the Rumble to set this up. As JR put it at No Way Out: “60,000 in the Astrodome to see the Rock and Stone Cold!” Heyman sums it up very well too with “It’s the match that both men need to win but neither man can afford to lose.” The video is set to Limp Bizkit’s My Way and is on a very short list for best hype video of all time.

WWF World Title: Steve Austin vs. The Rock

Rock is defending and this is made a No DQ match just before the entrances. JR: “WHAT?” Austin’s pop is one of the all time greats as he’s a folk hero in Texas. Rock’s reaction is VERY mixed but he does have some loud cheers. They waste no time and slug it out with Austin scoring with the Thesz Press. Neither guy can hit their finisher early and it’s on the floor less than two minutes in.

Both guys go into the announcers’ table but Austin takes over with a clothesline. A superplex gets two on Rock and it’s time to remove a turnbuckle pad. Rock’s comeback isn’t very well received and they head outside again with Austin nailing him with the bell (after sneaking in a sip of water). There’s a trickle of blood on Rock’s head so Austin goes after the cut with everything he has. Now we’ve got some good blood flowing and Austin grabs a swinging neckbreaker (popular move tonight) for two.

Austin stomps away in the corner but stops to yell at the referee, allowing Rock to explode with a clothesline, drawing more boos than he’s received in years. Rock sends him into the exposed buckle to draw blood as well, followed by a bell shot to make it even worse. Back to the floor and Austin catapults Rock face first into the post (great looking bump) before hitting him right in the hand (called the head but whatever) with a monitor.

Austin can’t get the Stunner (great pop for the double middle fingers though) and it’s time for Rock’s bad looking Sharpshooter. That brings Rock’s fans back to life and the match feels a lot more normal. Austin crawls to the ropes with the blood flowing down his face in a nice callback to Wrestlemania XIII. Now it’s Austin grabbing an even worse Sharpshooter and the fans aren’t happy when Rock makes the rope.

There’s the Million Dollar Dream for another flashback but Rock climbs the ropes and kicks back into a cover (the way Bret beat Austin at Survivor Series 1996 for two. Back up and Rock grabs a Stunner of his own for a delayed two. Cue Vince McMahon of all people as Austin wins a slugout but charges into a spinebuster. The People’s Elbow gets two with Vince breaking up the pin. The fans aren’t sure of this and Rock chases Vince around, only to walk into a Rock Bottom for two.

Vince looks very disappointed and Austin throws the referee out. He tells Vince to get a chair so Vince knocks Rock out for two with McMahon throwing the referee back in. A quick Rock Bottom puts Austin down but Rock pulls Vince in for interfering. The distraction lets another Stunner connect for a very hot near fall. With nothing else working, Austin erupts on Rock with the chair, hitting him an insane sixteen times. Rock’s carcass is covered for the pin at 28:05 and the fans explode with cheering.

Rating: A+. This is the main event style done almost as well as it’s ever been done. It’s a great stadium style main event with both guys knowing how to keep the crowd on their side the whole way through. Austin winning here made sense as there isn’t really anywhere Rock can go if he retains the title here. Also he was heading off to make Scorpion King so the result wasn’t the biggest surprise in the world.

What was a big surprise was Vince and Austin uniting, which is also a very questionable decision. Austin was still red hot and certainly could have carried the company as the lead star but this took the Austin train off the tracks (outside of Texas of course, where Austin could do no wrong). Vince and Austin coming together signaled the end of an era and a bold move, but it was part of a string of decisions that helped bring the company down from its peak and sent it into a tailspin for a few years.

The best option probably would have been to have Austin accept Vince’s help to take the title and then Stun him to end the show. This lets Austin stay on top and rekindle his feud with Vince until something new can be found. Rock leaving took away any reason for him to keep the title so Austin had to win, but this wasn’t the best way for him to get the belt back.

Austin shakes Vince’s hand and they share a beer, officially ending the Attitude Era as JR is beside himself. Rock gets hit in the face with the belt to knock him out one more time before Vince and Austin leave together to end the show.

Overall Rating: A+. I’m really not sure what else I need to say here. A show is considered good if it has one classic and this has an unheard of four. The fifth best match is above average and the worst match on the card is probably Eddie vs. Test, which is totally watchable. The wrestling here is amazing but it’s the crowd that really carries it higher. The fans were all over everything here and are some of the loudest people you’ll ever hear at a wrestling show. All in all, this is as close to perfect a wrestling show as you’re going to find and holds up incredibly well to this day.

Ratings Comparison

Chris Jericho vs. William Regal

Original: B

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: B-

Right to Censor vs. Tazz/A.P.A.

Original: C-

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: D+

Raven vs. Kane vs. Big Show

Original: C+

2013 Redo: C+

2015 Redo: C+

Eddie Guerrero vs. Test

Original: C-

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D+

Kurt Angle vs. Chris Benoit

Original: B+

2013 Redo: B+

2015 Redo: A-

Chyna vs. Ivory

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

Vince McMahon vs. Shane McMahon

Original: B

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: C+

Edge and Christian vs. Hardy Boyz vs. Dudley Boyz

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A+

2015 Redo: A+

Gimmick Battle Royal

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: A

Undertaker vs. HHH

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A

2015 Redo: A

Steve Austin vs. The Rock

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A+

2015 Redo: A+

Overall Rating

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A++

2015 Redo: A+

As I said a few years back: Yep it holds up.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/24/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-17-oh-yes/

And the 2013 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/26/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xvii-the-greatest-show-of-all-time/

Remember to check out my new forum at steelcageforums.com, follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania XVI
Date: April 2, 2000
Location: Arrowhead Pond, Anaheim, California
Attendance: 19,776
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

In addition to the four way title match, there are two other multi-man matches of note. First, Kurt Angle will be defending his Intercontinental and European Titles in back to back triple threat matches (considered one match with two falls) against Chris Benoit and Chris Jericho. Other than that, the tag division is getting a big boost with the Hardy Boyz, the Dudley Boyz (also recent arrivals) and Edge and Christian in the first ever triangle ladder match for the Tag Team Titles. Let’s get to it.

One last note: this show marks the return to the 3+ hour shows after years of under three hours.

Lillian Garcia sings the heck out of the National Anthem, as she always does.

The opening video focuses on the history of Wrestlemania for a few moments before jumping into the four way main event. They make sure to mention the McMahon in every corner and how it’s all about the four of them. This was a major problem with the match which we’ll get to later but it’s certainly true.

Godfather/D’Lo Brown vs. Big Boss Man/Bull Buchanan

Godfather is now a full on pimp and Brown is his partner in good guy crime. Buchanan is an athletic big man and Boss Man’s protege who never went beyond the low midcard. Ice T raps Brown and Godfather to the ring with a song called Pimp or Die. Of note: one of the Godfather’s women clearly falls down as she reaches ringside with the camera catching her going down. Godfather gives his usual speech about pimping nationwide and tells us to light up our blunts and say pimpin ain’t easy. This was quite the different time as you might be able to tell.

Brown and Buchanan get things going with D’Lo kicking him in the face and Godfather clotheslining an invading Boss Man. Godfather, in his shiny silver top, comes in for the spinning legdrop. A hook kick puts Boss Man down for two before it’s back to Buchanan and Brown with Bull doing his awesome run up the corner into a spinning top rope clothesline. Unfortunately that’s about the extent of his good moves so it’s back to Boss Man for two off an uppercut.

Lawler continues to oogle the lady in red as Brown keeps taking his beating. A cross body goes badly for D’Lo and JR compares it to a fair catch in the XFL. JR: “Which won’t exist.” Godfather shakes the ropes to crotch Buchanan and Brown brings him down with a top rope hurricanrana. The hot tag brings in Godfather for some house cleaning and everything breaks down, allowing Boss Man to hit his namesake slam, followed by a guillotine legdrop (and a good one) from Buchanan for the pin at 9:05.

Rating: D. Buchanan’s stuff looked good but who thought it was a good idea to have the heels, especially these heels, win the opening match? The length didn’t help this either. Godfather was starting to outlive his usefulness as an opening act at this point, partially due to the Parents Television Council complaining about the adult nature of the character. This would lead to a major change of pace for Godfather, which we’ll get to later on.

HHH and Women’s Champion Stephanie are loving life in the back.

Earlier today, the referees held a conference with all the participants in the hardcore battle royal. The title had been defended 24/7 with title matches taking place at any given time and in any given place. For tonight though, the rule is only enforced for the fifteen minute time limit. After that time comes to an end, the last person to pin the champion leaves with the title.

Hardcore Title: Hardcore Battle Royal

Tazz, Crash Holly, Hardcore Holly, Viscera, Joey Abs, Rodney, Pete Gas, Taka Michinoku, Funaki, Thrasher, Mosh, Faarooq, Bradshaw

Crash (Hardcore’s cousin) is defending coming in, meaning he has to be pinned or made to submit for the title to change hands in the first place. Tazz is still the Human Suplex Machine here a fierce guy despite his smaller stature. Funaki is Taka’s partner in Kai En Tai. It’s a big brawl to start with only Tazz and Crash staying in the ring. A suplex makes Tazz champion in 24 seconds, and yes these title reigns are all official. Viscera rams Tazz into the post and slams him down for the pin at 1:00.

The Mean Street Posse gets together for some weapon shots to Viscera to almost no avail. Crash is already busted open. The Acolytes beat Viscera up instead and everyone else beats on each other. Funaki hits Mosh with a box fan and Bradshaw cleans house with a cookie sheet. Some people finally start going after Viscera but he easily kicks out. We’re under ten minutes now and Pete Gas is bleeding too.

Viscera holds court in the ring with the cookie sheets but goes up top for no logical reason. The Acolytes destroy Kai En Tai with Taka taking a wicked powerbomb before going over to slam Viscera down. Some 2×4 shots to the back and a top rope shoulder from Bradshaw allows them to throw Kai En Tai on top, giving Funaki the pin at 7:51. Taka immediately goes after his partner but Funaki is suddenly the smartest man in the match as he runs away. The Posse catches up to him though and Rodney throws him against a wall for the pin and the title at 8:11 in his only televised pinfall.

Joey runs in with a gutwrench suplex for the pin and the title at 8:24. Thrasher clotheslines Joey for the title at 8:46. Thrasher tries to run away but gets attacked by a bunch of people with a weapon each. Somehow he survives though, only to get sprayed with a fire extinguisher by Pete Gas for the pin and the title at 9:29. That would be Pete’s second and final pin on TV.

With just under five minutes left, Tazz grabs a suplex for the pin at 10:17. Hardcore immediately sends him into the steps for two but Mosh decks Hardcore from behind. Probably out of instinct, Tazz covers Mosh for two. Tazz fights both Holly cousins inside as Bradshaw beats up the Posse out of pure principle. We have two minutes left and the cousins start trying to pin Tazz and Hardcore’s dropkick gets two. Crash hits Tazz in the head with a cookie sheet for the pin and the title at 14:20 but Tazz is right up with the Tazmission (his signature choke).

Hardcore comes back in with a candy jar to bust over Tazz’s head (and getting a piece of glass in his eye, though Tazz was fine.) and covers Crash but the ending is screwed up. Hardcore was supposed to have him beaten as the time expired but he came in early, meaning the referee has to stop the count for no good reason. Not that it matters as Hardcore is declared the new champion at 15:00 to end the match.

Rating: D+. Well that certainly happened. This really needed to have about five minutes cut out as you can only get into people hitting each other with the same weapons for so long (a lesson they would take two years to learn). The rapid fire title changes and stuff like the Posse trading the title was fine but this started dragging in the middle. Crash would get the title back the next night to fix the error at the end.

Long Axxess video.

Al Snow is in a bathroom and talking to someone we can’t see. His partner Steve Blackman comes in to say play it serious tonight. They comprise the team of Head Cheese because Snow has Head and…..well what else would you call them?

Head Cheese vs. T&A

T&A are Test and Albert (a big bald power guy) with the recently debuted Trish Stratus (when she was in even better shape than when she was in her peak years) as their manager. Snow brings out the man from the bathroom: the team’s new mascot Chester McCheeserton, a guy in a cheese costume. The audio starts crackling and JR’s microphone goes out for a bit (Lawler is very happy) as Blackman kicks Test in the face to start.

Snow comes in and gets double teamed until it’s off to Blackman to trade shoulders with Albert. Everything breaks down for a bit as the fans are just quiet here. You can see a lot of empty seats where people are getting popcorn during this match and I can’t blame them. Albert gets in trouble as the cheese goes after Trish who rightfully ignores him. Blackman’s middle rope headbutt gets two as Lawler calls the cheese Chester the Molester. A butterfly suplex finally gets Albert out of trouble and it’s off to Test for two off a side slam.

Albert comes back in for a big double powerbomb on Al as JR is using his code (“These styles are clashing” and “It’s bowling shoe ugly”) to say this match is horrible. Snow drops a middle rope leg on Test but Albert saves to keep this mess going. The Baldo Bomb (chokebomb) puts Snow on the floor and Albert gorilla presses Blackman, setting up Test’s top rope elbow for the pin at 7:03.

Rating: F. This match is in the running for the worst match in Wrestlemania history. The joke before the match was terrible, the match was AWFUL, the story was non-existent and the silence from the fans who stayed in the arena was eerie. Other than Trish, I saw nothing good about this and no redeeming value. It’s a total failure all around.

Post match Head Cheese beats up Chester in a really mean and out of character attack. The team didn’t go anywhere or last long in case you weren’t sure.

We get the comedy spot of the show with female wrestler the Kat in her dressing room but her veteran manager Mae Young keeps putting various things in front of various parts of Kat. I’m sure you get the joke.

D-Von Dudley thinks this ladder match is another way for the WWF to hold the Dudleyz down. Bubba, still with a thick southern accent, promises to take Wrestlemania and the ladder match to a new level of violence. His stutter kicks in right before he can drop an F bomb.

Tag Team Titles: Edge and Christian vs. Hardy Boyz vs. Dudley Boyz

These three teams have been feuding with each other for months. Edge and Christian and the Hardyz had a great ladder match last year so why not add the Dudleyz (defending here) and make it a three way ladder match? Officially this is a triangle ladder match but it’s really just Tables, Ladders and Chairs (TLC) before the TLC match was named.

Everyone brawls to start and it’s going to be almost impossible to keep track of everything going on. Jeff takes Bubba out with the Whisper in the Wind but gets caught in the Bubba Bomb. Christian brings in the first ladder but Matt makes the save. All six get inside and a second ladder is loaded up.

Instead of climbing though, both challenging teams put a ladder over a Dudley in the corners, only to have the Hardyz take out Edge and Christian. Jeff puts Bubba on the ladder but Bubba avoids the 450 for the first big crash. Bubba one ups Jeff by putting the ladder onto Jeff and hitting his middle rope backsplash with his own head crashing into the ladder.

Christian puts a ladder on Matt so Edge can ride another ladder down to crush Matt. With everyone else down, Bubba puts a ladder around his own head and spins around to blast everyone not named D-Von in the face. Edge and Christian dropkick the ladder to take over though before nailing D-Von as well. Christian dives off a ladder to take out Matt and Bubba, leaving Edge to spear Jeff off a ladder.

Now it’s D-Von going up so Christian just throws a ladder at him for the save. A HUGE Bubba Cutter brings Christian down and now the fans are understanding what they’re in for with this one. The Hardys’ legdrop/splash combo from the ladders brings the people to their feet again as the match starts to slow down a bit due to all of the crashing.

A double superplex off the ladder brings D-Von down, leaving Edge and Christian and the Hardys to climb two ladders, only to knock each other off for some huge crashes. There’s not much else you can do here aside from just listing spots as it’s one big move after another. Now all six go up on three ladders with Jeff and Christian falling all the way down to the floor (with NOTHING to catch them). Bubba goes down as well and ever the spoiled sport, he shoves the other two ladders and all three other guys down against the ropes.

The Dudleyz are left alone so they pick up the ladders and crush Christian, who somehow can still walk. 3D takes Edge down (thankfully not onto a ladder) and now it’s table time. Why the Dudleyz need those isn’t clear but why let common sense get in the way of your gimmick. To crank things up though, the Dudleyz put a table on top of two ladders like a scaffold. Another pair of tables is set under the scaffold but D-Von’s headbutt misses Jeff and only hits table.

Bubba keeps his team’s fortunes up by powerbombing Matt off the announcers’ table and through another ladder at ringside. Jeff gets up and tries to run across the barricade as is his custom but Bubba pelts a ladder at him. There’s something to cringe worthy about someone flying through the air and crashing into a big piece of metal.

Now we start the tradition of the huge ladder, which is set up on the floor and is almost as high as the ones in the ring. Jeff is laid out in front of it but Christian hits Bubba in the head with the bell, allowing Jeff to go for a climb. With nothing to lose (save for most of the bones in his spine), Jeff Swantons off the ladder for one of the biggest crashes ever up to this point. The wide shot makes it look even better and the fans are rightfully stunned.

Back in the ring, Christian and Matt climb onto the scaffold but Edge shoves Matt off and through the last table in the ring. The table almost explodes as Matt crashes through it and the fans are fired up all over again as Edge and Christian pull down the titles for their first championship at 22:25.

Rating: A-. This was a different kind of match than these three teams would have later on as they were just going from spot to spot here without the flow that they would have. However, this is still an amazing spectacle that got the fans into things once they gave it a chance to get going. This was ALL about going higher and higher with each step, but they didn’t know how high they could go yet. Later the matches would be about seeing how high they could take it and the results would be pure carnage. Here it’s more about fitting stuff in but it’s still an awesome match.

Mick Foley (not Mankind or Cactus Jack) is with Linda and says that this is the biggest match on the biggest show of the year so it’s the biggest match of his life. Fairy tales can come true and it could happen to HHH, Rock and Big Show, BUT IT WON’T because it’s happening to him.

JR and Lawler rave about the ladder match.

Terri Runnels vs. The Kat

This is billed as a catfight and is more about the managers (Fabulous Moolah and Mae Young respectfully) than the wrestlers. Val Venis is the referee (sporting a referee towel instead of shirt) and you win by throwing your opponent to the floor, making it a two man battle royal. They’re not even trying to hide the fact that this is just a cool down match after the previous war. These two don’t really have a reason for fighting other than being catty with each other.

Before the match, Venis does one of his signature innuendo laden promo, talking about how he and Wrestlemania are both extravaganzas that get your blood pumping, but Wrestlemania only comes once a year. Both women are in see thru bodysuits with bikinis underneath. Kat’s is made of fishnet, thereby making her Lawler’s favorite.

They brawl to start until Val breaks it up, only to have both of them kiss him. Kat spears her down but Mae gets on the apron to try to flash Val. Terri is thrown to the floor but the referee doesn’t see it, meaning it’s time for Mae to kiss Val as well. Both girls actually in the match fall outside but Moolah throws Terri back inside for the win at 2:26. Total mess of course, but at least they didn’t try to hide what they were doing here.

Mae gives Moolah a Bronco Buster post match and Kat strips Terri.

Wrestlemania XVII will be in Houston.

The Radicalz (minus Chris Benoit) are ready for the six person tag but Eddie is too busy checking his hair to impress Chyna.

Too Cool (Grandmaster Sexay and Scotty 2 Hotty, formerly Too Much) and Chyna are ready too.

Radicalz vs. Too Cool/Chyna

It’s Guerrero/Malenko/Saturn here. Eddie has been hitting on Chyna lately so she got some help and it’s time for a tag match. Too Cool has gone from jokes to a nice surprise as a midcard act due to getting over and the company giving them a chance. That is almost blasphemy today. Chyna has her fireworks bazooka which was actually pretty cool.

Eddie and Scotty get things going as the fans are all over Guerrero, likely due to him knocking off Scotty’s hat. It’s quickly off to Chyna, sending Eddie crawling over on his knees to grab Malenko’s legs. JR says Chyna looks hot, which is very outside of his standard character. A double suplex puts Dean down and it’s time for Chyna to dance. Now it’s Grandmaster suplexing Eddie down but Saturn breaks up the Hip Hop Drop (top rope legdrop).

Saturn goes even more evil by stealing Grandmaster’s bandana, which just makes Grandmaster look stupid. Scotty comes in and is quickly hot shotted to keep the Radicalz in control. The fans only care about Eddie and Chyna here and Guerrero soaks it all up like the master he was. Grandmaster’s interference only works for a bit and Scotty busts out a double Worm, followed by Saturn kicking him in the face.

Saturn (barely) hits a top rope elbow but Eddie gets superplexed, finally allowing the hot tag to Chyna. House is quickly cleaned and a double low blow gets rid of Saturn and Malenko. Chyna is barely able to powerbomb Eddie so she grabs him between the legs and gorilla presses him while trying to keep the side of her tights from splitting any further. A quick sleeper drop puts Eddie away at 9:39.

Rating: C-. Watchable but mostly average match with the fans only caring about Eddie vs. Chyna, which was quite the hot story around this time. Things would pick up even more the next night as Chyna suddenly fell for the Latino Heat and hooked up with Eddie for months. This was an acceptable use of ten minutes, if nothing else as a way to advance the Eddie vs. Chyna story.

Some fans won a trip to Wrestlemania.

Shane and Big Show say they’ll win and that it’s Game Over.

Earlier tonight, Kurt Angle beat up Bob Backlund for suggesting that he defend both titles. This goes nowhere.

Angle asks for some extra security for his victory celebration and offers the guard autographs if he does it. Smug Angle was pure gold and one of the most genuinely hilarious characters the company has ever had. He was such a goofy dork but he sold the whole thing as well as anyone could have done. The in ring abilities made it even better but the character made Angle greater than anything he did in a match.

Intercontinental Title/European Title: Kurt Angle vs. Chris Benoit vs. Chris Jericho

This is a two fall match with Angle defending the Intercontinental Title first and the European Title second. The three of them have been feuding for months with Angle taking the Intercontinental Title from Jericho last month at No Way Out 2000. Before the match, Jericho says he can’t guarantee that he’ll walk out a champion but he can guarantee that Benoit and Angle will have bumps and bruises from a Y2J beating that they will never EVER forget again. So they’ll forget it at least once?

Angle gets chopped down to start as Lawler calls Backlund an idiot for setting this up. Jericho’s springboard dropkick is broken up by Benoit so Jericho dropkicks them both outside at the same time. Angle gets in his first offense with a flapjack to send Jericho into the steps. Back in and Benoit trades suplexes with Angle as Lawler channels Bobby Heenan by praising Angle for everything.

Jericho goes up again and Benoit shoves him down again, making me think that Jericho needs to adjust his strategy. He tries ANOTHER dropkick from the ropes, this time getting two on Angle as Benoit makes the save. A camel clutch on Benoit doesn’t get Jericho anywhere so he goes back to Angle, only to get caught in the crossface chickenwing. Jericho starts to fade but Benoit comes back in and throws Angle to the floor. A quick Swan Dive is good for the pin on Jericho, giving Benoit the Intercontinental Title at 7:56.

Angle is all ticked off and starts erupting with suplexes to Benoit, only to have Jericho break up the moonsault. Benoit belly to back superplexes Jericho down and rolls away from a great looking moonsault to leave all three guys down. Back up and it’s Jericho taking over with a forearm and spinwheel kick, followed by the double powerbomb (one powerbomb after another without breaking his grip) to Angle.

Benoit is right back in with the rolling Germans for two on Jericho. Angle takes a German of his own and the referee counts even though Kurt’s shoulder is WAY off the mat. What a patriot. Benoit makes Jericho tap to the Crossface but the ref got bumped. Serves him right for trying to cheat an American hero. Just like everyone else, Benoit lets go of the hold instead of doing as much damage to Jericho as possible. Angle avoids another Swan Dive but Jericho is right back up with a Lionsault for the pin on Benoit and the European Title at 13:48 total.

Rating: B. This is quite the concept and there’s no way any combination of these three can go wrong. It’s also a very efficient way to get both titles off Angle without having him, the hottest prospect of them all, get pinned or have to tap out. Also well done on not having the standard triple threat formula and just letting everyone fight at the same time with the guys being down for logical reasons instead of the script calling for it. Good match, good idea, very good execution. What more can you ask for?

Vince says that Rock is very confident that Rock will win tonight. Rock however isn’t there with him. Vince guarantees to make it right tonight. You can see the swerve coming from here.

HHH promises Stephanie that he won’t allow himself to be beaten tonight.

X-Pac/Road Dogg vs. Rikishi/Kane

Rikishi is finally in his most famous gimmick and near his highest popularity. Kane has the always awesome inverted color scheme for his attire and Paul Bearer in his corner. X-Pac and Road Dogg, the once again heel DX, have Tori (now a hot valet) with them. Tori left Kane for X-Pac and this is the result with the many showdowns coming later. Kane goes after Tori to start and Road Dogg gets an early Stink Face.

Tori has to be saved from the same fate and DX’s attempt to leave fails. We settle down and X-Pac gets in a Bronco Buster on Rikishi before it’s off to Road Dogg for the dancing punches. Rikishi shrugs them off and brings in Kane for the big monster offense, but Kane goes after Tori instead. The Stink Face works this time and Kane Tombstones X-Pac for the pin at 4:14.

Rating: D. The match was bad but there’s another reason this is happening which we’ll get to in a few seconds. Rikishi was helping fight DX so he fit in here, but this was little more than filler. Kane’s attire and Tori as a good blonde there to look good and make you hate X-Pac even more worked fine.

Post match Too Cool and the San Diego Chicken come out to dance. Kane doesn’t buy it but the Chicken dances a lot better than you would expect from Rose. After they’re done, Kane goes after the Chicken but Pete Rose runs in with the ball bat, only to get chokeslammed, followed by a Stink Face to end this saga once and for all. Well until Rose showed up on Raw about ten years later. Rose certainly did whatever he needed to do and turned this one idea into an awesome three year running joke.

Rock talks about going through everything in the last year to get back to Wrestlemania to reclaim his title. All the chokeslams, all the Mandible Claws and all the Pedigrees are worth it because he has one more shot to become champion. This is the intense Rock and it works almost as well as the funny version. He skips the eyebrow though.

Martin Short, Michael Clarke Duncan and French Stewart are here.

Again no official recap, but HHH retired Foley, Rock won the Rumble and Show proved that he really won the Rumble.

WWF World Title: Mick Foley vs. Big Show vs. The Rock vs. HHH

Elimination rules and No DQ. HHH is defending and we’ve got a rare occurrence of all four McMahons in one place. Rock and Vince come out together here for their first appearance together tonight. Show and Rock pair off while Foley pounds the champ down in the corner with some fast punches. With Rock down in the corner, Show runs the other two over with a double clothesline. Show can’t pick which guy to beat up so Foley jumps on his back, giving us a repeat of last year’s spot with Show falling backwards to crush Foley’s ribs.

Mick is right back up to break up a chokeslam to HHH (why would he do that?) and it’s a triple team on Big Show. Three straight clotheslines put the giant down but HHH just can’t work with Foley that long and a fight breaks out again. Show kicks Rock in the face but Foley hits Show in the back with a chair, knocking him into the Rock Bottom for the pin to get rid of the giant at 4:50. What a worthless addition Show was.

The three remaining guys all stare at each other and it’s HHH trying to strike a deal with both of them. Rock actually goes for it before nailing HHH from behind and the double teaming is on. They all head outside where Rock accidentally hits Foley with the bell, making Lawler even happier than in the women’s match earlier. Rock isn’t as strong as you would think though as Foley is up just a few seconds later….and he has a 2×4 wrapped in barbed wire. HHH low blows him to take it away though and hits Foley in the ribs but AGAIN Foley doesn’t seem in that much trouble.

This time it’s the Mandible Claw on HHH, who turns into a belt shot from Rock. The People’s Elbow is broken up by a Mandible Claw to Rock but the champ low blows them both to put all three down. Foley’s double arm DDT gets two on Rock and Rock’s single arm version gets the same with HHH making the save for some reason. Mick and HHH actually work together on Rock with Foley’s knee lift getting two (No save from HHH, making Rock look more like a threat than Foley, who HHH believes he can beat. That’s a nice touch.).

The double teaming continues on the floor but Rock whips Mick knees first into the steps. Foley pops up for the third time though and nails Rock with the steps. HHH loads up the Spanish announcers’ table and has Foley go to the middle rope for the elbow….which is left about three feet short, sending him ribs first into the table in a very sad sight. HHH has to drop about three elbows to put Rock through the table before taking Foley inside for the Pedigree……for two? JR: “HE DID IT!” A BIG chair to the head sets up the second Pedigree (with Foley collapsing) for the pin at 19:40, sending Foley into retirement for four years.

Foley takes one last bow but comes back to the ring for one good barbed wire 2×4 shot to HHH’s head (busting him open) to go out on. Somehow that’s only good for two for Rock so let’s go outside again. Rock beats him up in front of the Titantron and takes it back to ringside. HHH swings a chair to knock the steps into Rock’s face, followed by a piledriver onto the steps. This is the main event of Wrestlemania though so it’s finishers or rollups only, meaning Rock kicks out at two again.

The Pedigree is broken up and they go into the crowd for more time killing brawling. Back to ringside again with Rock suplexing the champ through the announcers’ table and it’s time for more waiting. HHH is up first but Vince sends him into the post, only to have Shane (why is he still here?) hit his dad from behind. Well you knew this was coming. A big monitor shot to the head knocks Vince silly but he’s up after a ridiculous TWENTY THREE SECONDS. Vince just got hit in the head with a monitor and he’s up and going after Shane in less than thirty seconds. Who is this match supposed to showcase again?

Shane opts for a chair shot to the head and this time Vince stays down, even shedding some blood. We FINALLY go back to the match with Rock DDTing HHH, drawing Stephanie’s ridiculous looking bug eyes. The barbed wire board to Rock’s head stuns him but he’s still able to catapult HHH into Shane. HHH walks into the Rock Bottom but here’s Vince to punch Shane….and then hit Rock with a chair because SWERVE! Rock kicks out at two so Vince hits him in the head with the chair again, giving HHH the pin to retain at 36:31. That’s the first time a heel has left Wrestlemania as champion.

Rating: C+. Oh man this is a rough one. Above all else, the McMahons. They started off as background noise but by the end they were the only things that mattered here as it turned into yet another Vince/Shane/Stephanie drama, which had been the big story for the last year in one form or another. They pretty much gave away the Vince turn earlier and that doesn’t help an already bad idea.

That leaves us with the match itself, which really isn’t very good. The problem here is that they clearly spend so much time laying around and filling in time because the match goes longer than it should. Now that being said, it’s still Rock vs. HHH for eighteen minutes after Rock vs. HHH vs. Foley for about fifteen minutes so the action is at least watchable. The problem is there’s not enough action or excitement.

There were barely any near falls or moments of drama once it got down to one on one. You have the cover after Foley left (not happening), the piledriver on the steps (maybe) and the first chair shot from Vince (good near fall). You really need more than that in a long match, especially with all this other drama that really adds nothing on the outside. What you have instead is a lot of brawling, a lot of selling (fine, but not when it’s selling on the floor with no drama) and a lot of being on the floor or in the crowd. The action was good but it was bogged down by too much other stuff.

So how do you fix it? You have Rock vs. HHH instead of the four way. I understand the idea here but it’s not the kind of match to end Wrestlemania. If you want to do the four way, do it at Backlash where the pressure is gone and go with the big title win here. Foley not being around would have been a loss, but the match would have been better overall, unless you don’t have Rock in the main event here, which would mean changing the booking months before Wrestlemania. The four way was unique but it really didn’t work in this spot, at least not like it needed to do.

Vince and Stephanie reunite but Vince yells at Shane. Rock comes back in to lay out all three of them with Rock Bottoms and a People’s Elbow to Stephanie (to be fair, she slapped him after he beat up Vince and Shane). Rock poses a lot to take us to the highlight package.

Overall Rating: D+. It’s the biggest show of the year in the best year they ever had and I think they just collapsed under the weight. You had two really good matches to carry the show but the main event is more like a disappointing experiment. The rest ranges from bad to wasting time with some bizarre choices like the Head Cheese mess.

The strangest part here is what this led to, as Backlash later in the month would be the show of the year with all the fallout from Wrestlemania, including Rock beating HHH to win the World Title. There are FAR worse Wrestlemanias but this was really more like a commercial for the next few months. Check out the triple threat and the ladder match but just get to the next year’s show otherwise.

Ratings Comparison

Big Boss Man/Bull Buchanan vs. D’Lo Brown/Godfather

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D

Hardcore Battle Royal

Original: C+

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: D+

T&A vs. Head Cheese

Original: F

2013 Redo: D-

2015 Redo: F

Edge and Christian vs. Dudley Boyz vs. Hardy Boyz

Original: B+

2013 Redo: A-

2015 Redo A-

The Kat vs. Terri Runnels

Original: F

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

Radicalz vs. Too Cool/Chyna

Original: D

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: C-

Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle vs. Chris Jericho

Original: A

2013 Redo: B+

2015 Redo: B

Rikishi/Kane vs. D-Generation X

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

HHH vs. The Rock vs. Big Show vs. Mick Foley

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: C+

Overall Rating

Original: D

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D+

Not much changes in a few years.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/23/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-16-they-thought-this-was-a-good-idea/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/25/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xvi-the-worst-show-from-the-best-year/

Remember to check out my new forum at steelcageforums.com, follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: October 20, 2003
Location: Casey Plaza, Wilkes Barre, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s still all about Goldberg and the bounty but this time he has a slightly better opponent with Shawn Michaels getting his shot. We’re also getting ready for Survivor Series in a few weeks, meaning things should be picking up in short order. Then again, that’s never stopped WWE before. Let’s get to it.

Here’s last week’s show if you need a recap.

In Memory of Hawk.

We recap the bounty angle, which hopefully picks up speed tonight.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Steve Austin to get things going. Austin came here earlier today and found a note. Someone wants him in the ring at nine o’clock, which means there’s someone back there who wants to physically provoke him. This brings out Test, on crutches, with Stacy Keibler in toe. Test yells at her for taking too long to hold the door open and says he sent the note. He’d love to beat Austin up right now but can’t because of the broken foot. He wants an apology for the injury and another one for what happened to Stacy last week.

Austin gives both of them a middle finger instead and hopes Stacy learned a lesson: what Austin offers you a beer, you either decline with a smile or drink until you pass out. Stacy is about to respond but Test tells her not to speak unless he tells her to. Austin would love to beat up any kind of a man, including a crippled man. A fight is teased but Test won’t provoke him. Instead, Stacy shoves Test into Austin and you know what that means.

Before beer can be consumed, Eric Bischoff comes up on screen to mock Austin for not being able to hit anyone. Austin agrees, so Bischoff suggests they assemble teams for Survivor Series with that rule being gone vs. Austin being gone. The Board of Directors has already approved of this and Bischoff already has Chris Jericho and Scott Steiner signed up for his team. Jericho asks Austin if he’s in and of course the match is on. Stacy intercepts the beer and drinks it herself to Lawler’s delight.

Shane McMahon is waiting for Kane. Egads get us to Survivor Series already so this thing can be done.

Tag Team Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. La Resistance

The Dudleys are defending and have dedicated the match to Hawk. D-Von and Conway start things off but a blind tag allows Dupree to come in with a dropkick to take over. The flying shoulder is mistimed and turns into a flying forearm instead but it still manages to send Dupree outside. Conway forearms D-Von down though and Dupree adds a Hennig necksnap. He throws in the dance too and of course Bubba is ready to kill him as a result. Bubba is likely more of a Saturday Night Fever fan.

It’s off to the chinlock for a bit until D-Von hits an enziguri (what an odd visual) to escape for the hot tag. That means a Flip Flop and Fly but D-Von gets crotched on top so the French guys can take over again. The double spinebuster gets two and there’s the USA chant. For some reason that doesn’t fire Conway up as he’s taken down with a reverse implant DDT. The Doomsday Device retains the titles.

Rating: D. The ending was a nice moment as you can imagine how big of an influence the Legion of Doom was on the Dudleys. La Resistance is better with Conway in the lineup but it’s still not like the team is anything more than a middle of the pack act at best. Thankfully they didn’t do another title change here and the Doomsday Device gave me a bit of a smile.

Bischoff gives Jericho and Steiner a pep talk before their tag match tonight. An argument breaks out over who is the leader. That’s the last thing Bischoff wants but Jericho says it’ll be fine.

Evolution promises that the bounty will be collected tonight. Booker T. comes in and says he’s ready to make a statement because the path to the Intercontinental Title begins right now. Randy Orton doesn’t buy it but Booker wants to fight right now.

Booker T. vs. Randy Orton

Joined in progress with Booker chopping Orton, in street clothes, up against the ropes. A hot shot and the backbreaker give Orton two and we hit the double arm crank. Booker is right back with a spinning kick to the face and the side kick but Orton takes the countout.

Rating: D+. This was more of an angle than a match though I could go for seeing more of these two together. Booker being back is a nice addition to the show but it’s not going to matter if he doesn’t have anyone to fight. That being said, he’d be a good choice for the Survivor Series team which is a fine way to get him back to speed.

Post match, Booker volunteers to be on Austin’s team. Makes perfect sense.

Raw World Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Goldberg

Shawn is challenging. And never mind as Mark Henry jumps Goldberg during his big entrance. No match.

Post break, Austin finds out what happened (because I guess he was petting his dog) and is ready to go throw Henry out of the building. The match is uncertain.

Chris Jericho/Scott Steiner vs. Rob Van Dam/Lance Storm

Steiner and Van Dam start things off with Scott saying Rob’s arms “don’t have diddly squat”. Those are fighting words so Rob kicks away, followed by a crossbody for an early two. The cartwheel moonsault gets two more and it’s off to Storm for a leg lariat. Jericho comes in and the silence when Storm is on offense is very noticeable. Storm escapes a wristlock by standing on the ropes and backflipping out, meaning it’s time for some posing.

A Steiner distraction lets Jericho knock Storm into the barricade though, followed by a loud whip into the steps. We hit the chinlock as Steiner is already running out of offense. The announcers recap the show as Storm makes his comeback, only to get suplexed right back down. As usual it’s a good looking suplex from Steiner and far more effective when he only uses one. Jericho comes in and does some pushups, followed by the loud chops in the corner.

That’s fine with Storm, who jumps from the mat to the top rope for a back elbow to the jaw. That kind of thing never stops impressing me. Van Dam comes in for the kicks and a northern lights suplex for two on Jericho. The bouncing kick is left short so Jericho grabs a rollup with feet on the ropes for two of his own. Everything breaks down with Storm diving onto Steiner and Van Dam flipping out of a Walls attempt. Steiner gets in a chair to Van Dam’s back though and the Lionsault is good for the pin.

Rating: C. I’m still a big fan of Storm (that athleticism is very impressive) but having a gimmick of “I’m not boring anymore” isn’t going to work. He’s just not charismatic (which he himself will admit) and I’m not sure how to turn him into a star that fans want to see. I’m not sure how good of a fit he would be on the Survivor Series team, though that’s definitely where the story seems to be going.

The trainer tells Bischoff that Goldberg might not be able to defend the title. Bischoff thinks it’s an act but Goldberg says it’s on.

JR and King pay tribute to Hawk and Stu Hart.

Video on Stu, with Vince narrating.

Flair is on the phone with someone (presumably Teddy Long) and says no money because Goldberg is still up. There’s a backup option though.

Jericho comes up to Trish Stratus in the back and says there’s no need to thank him for last week. Trish says he doesn’t have to be Chris Jericho here and sincerely thanks him for what he did. Last week wasn’t about Austin though, because Jericho really respects her. Things get a little awkward and they leave. I’m really glad we’re finally to this story as it’s always been a personal favorite.

Mark Jindrak and Garrison Cade come in to see Orton about collecting the bounty. They had another idea in mind: beating Orton down and stealing the money. A left hand staggers Orton and the briefcase is stolen.

Post break Orton is panicking when he runs into Flair. Orton doesn’t tell him the truth and says he’ll hang in the back instead of going out there with Flair. Ric wants Orton to show Shawn the money one more time before the title match.

Trish Stratus/Lita vs. Molly Holly/Victoria

Lawler is now referring to Molly as “Molly Hottie”, ignoring those times where he thought she was fat and rather unattractive. Good to see that he found some strong glasses. Trish and Victoria start things off but Molly comes in after just a few seconds. Apparently Trish isn’t a fan of fast tags as she chops Molly in the corner but a Stevie Richards distraction lets the villains take over.

The always cool looking spinning side slam gets two and it’s back to Molly for the same off a swinging neckbreaker. The Molly Go Round misses and that’s enough to bring Lita in. Everything breaks down and Molly gets hiptossed but Stevie sneaks in with a powerbomb to give Victoria the cheap pin on Trish.

Rating: D+. The matches aren’t terrible but it would be nice if someone actually remembered that there’s a title to fight over in this division. I can’t remember the last time Molly defended the thing and I can’t remember the last time she wasn’t considered one of the lower level names in the division, which defeats the point of being a champion. At least there’s a story though, and that’s a lot better than what the division has seen in a long time.

Post match the beatdown stays on with Victoria putting the Women’s Title over Lita’s face. The slingshot legdrop is loaded up but Christian runs in for the save. And the plot thickens.

We look back at Henry attacking Goldberg.

Maven vs. Ric Flair

Maven isn’t waiting for the WOOing and decks Flair in the jaw to start us off. A backdrop on the floor keeps Flair in trouble but the referee grabs Maven’s punch. You know, which is done so consistently. Flair gets in a cheap shot to take over and it’s time to rip the skin off of Maven’s chest in the corner. We hit the chinlock as JR says Cade and Jindrak took advantage of an opportunity. There’s the knee drop but Maven pops up and wins a slugout to near silence. Flair is of course one step ahead though and grabs a rollup with trunks for the fast pin.

Rating: D. Now can we drop the Maven experiment please? There’s no upside to Maven here and he’s nothing more than a jobber to the stars with big eyebrows. The wrestling isn’t any good and losing to Flair in about four minutes isn’t going to make the fans care about his lame offense and low level charisma.

In the back, Orton finally tells Flair what happened but they know they can figure it out before HHH kills them. Cops come running up and we follow them to Kane.

Here’s a cut up Kane in the arena with the cops guarding the entrance. This whole thing with Shane started with Linda, who thought she could stop the monster. Everyone has thought they can control her but Linda found out differently. Linda was squirming for her very life and screaming no, but Kane learned a long time ago that no means yes. Kane likes hurting people and it felt so good.

Now Shane thinks he can stop Kane, but throwing him into a burning dumpster didn’t stop him, just like crashing a limo didn’t do it either. Kane will do anything he wants to Shane and there is no line that he won’t cross. Shane is done at Survivor Series but his pain has just begun.

Jindrak and Cade try to leave but get attacked by HHH with a 2×4.

Post break, HHH comes in to yell at Flair and Orton but Ric blames it all on Orton in a funny bit. HHH actually hands Orton the briefcase again and says don’t let it happen again. They’ll be watching the match in the back and HHH guarantees that the bounty is collected tonight.

Raw World Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Goldberg

Shawn is challenging. Goldberg shoves him down with ease to start so Shawn starts sticking and moving. Some kicks to the knees and a dropkick to the side of the head have Goldberg in trouble but he’s right back with a gorilla press. Shawn takes a breather on the floor and he manages to shove Goldberg over the top in a surprising bit of power. Back in and Goldberg launches him into the corner but gets forearmed down. The power vs. speed stuff is working so far.

A powerslam cuts Shawn off but Goldberg is too banged up from the Henry attack. Goldberg scores with a military press but the spear hit the referee because of course it does. The superkick connects (see my previous because of course it does) to put everyone down. We get a replacement referee for the double count, despite Shawn only having been slammed a few times. Cue the returning Batista to send Shawn into the steps as the match is thrown out.

Rating: C-. This didn’t have time to go anywhere and that’s a shame as Shawn would seem to be someone capable of getting the best out of Goldberg. Batista returning is a great thing though as the three man Evolution really wasn’t working. Hopefully he’s gotten better in his time away, as the look is only going to take him so far.

The Batista Bomb plants Goldberg and Batista Pillmanizes Goldberg’s ankle. Evolution comes out and hands Batista the money to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Much better show than in recent weeks, though that’s not the hardest goal to achieve. The big thing here was they moved things forward towards Survivor Series with Batista returning to injure Goldberg and the announcement of the big elimination match. The wrestling was really pretty lame here but the storytelling was good, which is what matters a lot more in this case. Not a good show, but a step in the right direction.

Remember to check out my new forum at steelcageforums.com, follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/01/26/new-book-kbs-history-of-the-wwe-championship-2018-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 5, 2018
Location: BMO Harris Bradley Center, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Jonathan Coachman

With five episodes to go before Wrestlemania, this show needs to start getting ready for Wrestlemania. At the moment, there is one match confirmed for the biggest show of the year and we’re 34 days out. I know there’s Fastlane to get through first but Raw doesn’t have another pay per view between now and New Orleans. Get something set up this week. Let’s get to it.

Here’s last week’s show if you need a recap.

Here’s Kurt Angle to get things going. Kurt is serious this week because he got sucker punched last week. HHH hit him right in the jaw and while Kurt has swallowed his pride before, he’s calling HHH out right now. The jacket comes off and here’s a swaggering Stephanie (the obvious response) instead. Stephanie asks about Angle’s five kids and ex-wife, meaning he likely has an alimony payment. She advises Kurt to stick with what he does for a living and here’s Ronda Rousey to interrupt.

Rousey talks about the people who brought her here not being what they said they were but she’s dealt with that before. Stephanie laughs this off and says people don’t often understand their bosses’ decisions. What Rousey needs to remember is that she signed a contract with WWE and that puts her under Stephanie. Ronda remembers something about that contract: she’s allowed to pick her opponent. That opponent would be Stephanie, so here’s HHH to keep his wife from a bad case of death.

Angle brings up that Stephanie also has a wrestler’s contract (Why?) so the match is on. She’s not the only one with a wrestler’s contract because HHH has one too. That’s why the mixed tag match is on for Wrestlemania. HHH leaves so Stephanie loads up the slap on Angle, only to have Rousey grab the arm. HHH comes back in for the save and the fight is on with Stephanie knocking Rousey down from behind. The stare sends her bailing as HHH is put in the ankle lock. Stephanie comes back for the save but gets pulled back into the ring for a not great Samoan drop from Rousey.

Asuka vs. Nia Jax

Asuka is thrown outside to start and we go split screen to hear Alexa Bliss say Nia is winning tonight. Back to full screen with Asuka being planted off a backbreaker. An Octopus hold slows Nia down but she throws Asuka into the corner without much effort. A reverse Eye of the Storm drops Asuka and we take a break.

Back with Asuka reeling but scoring with a Shining Wizard for two. The Samoan drop plants Asuka but she avoids the legdrop. Instead it’s off to the cross armbreaker which transitions into a triangle choke. Nia can’t powerbomb her way out, even when she drives Asuka into the corner. Asuka switches back into the armbreaker and Nia taps at 11:05.

Rating: C. WE GET IT ALREADY! My goodness this is the exact same thing that Nia has done in EVERY BIG MATCH and it’s not interesting anymore. I never bought that Asuka was in any real danger because there’s no way anything else was happening here. Nia is rapidly becoming the one who gets to look dominant but never wins anything, which is going to catch up to her very soon.

Nia gets the big hero’s reaction post match as she stands up and walks out, holding the damaged arm.

Revival vs. The Bar

Non-title but the Revival gets a title shot if they win. Dawson gets taken into the wrong corner to start and the Bar takes turns pounding him down. A double gordbuster (oh the Anderson vibes are strong with this one) puts Sheamus on the floor and we take a break. Back with Revival kicking Sheamus’ legs out as everything breaks down. A PowerPlex of all things gets two on Cesaro but Sheamus makes the save. Wilder is sent outside and the Neutralizer gives Cesaro the pin at 9:30.

Rating: D+. We’re either getting War Machine (not happening) or the multi team ladder match. I’m not sure why we would want to see this, but that’s what we seem to be getting. There’s no one to challenge the Bar at the moment so unless they’re mixing the brands up, I have no idea which single team we could be getting.

Here’s John Cena to talk about getting a title match at Fastlane. He’s a free agent so he can be on both shows. So why is he here if he has a title match at a Smackdown pay per view? He’s here because he knows none of the other people in the match will let him have a chance to speak. This Sunday, the record is being broken when Cena wins his seventeenth World Title.

People always talk about how Cena holds people back and is handed everything, but he earned this chance when he beat AJ Styles 1-2-3. When he wins on Sunday, the critics will be there to say he’s robbed AJ of a Wrestlemania moment. Cena is encouraging AJ to make a better Wrestlemania moment and cash in his rematch to make it a triple threat with Cena, Styles and Shinsuke Nakamura.

This brings out, I kid you not, Goldust of all people, quoting the I’m a bum speech from On the Waterfront. Goldust has a dream of going to Wrestlemania too and that starts with preventing Cena from getting there. His dreams are always taken away and tonight, he’s taking over this silver screen as Cena’s new director. One right hand puts Cena down and we go to a break.

Goldust vs. John Cena

Joined in progress for a first time ever match actually. Goldust kicks him in the face and snaps off the powerslam to keep Cena in trouble. A knee drop allows Goldust to pose but he takes too long, allowing Cena to grab a standing chinlock. Goldust hits him low for two but Cena pops up, initiates the finishing sequence, and finishes with the AA at 3:47.

Rating: D. Uh, sure? I have no idea what the point of this was supposed to be but they went with it anyway. This was the most random match I’ve seen in a long time and I’m really not sure what they were going for. The match wasn’t terrible or anything but it really feels like they’re just making this up as they go instead of having any form of a plan.

Elias tries to get out of the Symphony of Destruction match with Braun Strowman tonight but Angle says no.

Hillbilly Jim Hall of Fame video. I couldn’t be happier.

Here’s Bayley for a chat before her match. She got serious last week and Sasha Banks wasn’t happy with it….so here’s Absolution to interrupt. Paige makes fun of Bayley for finally growing up and we’re ready to go.

Mandy Rose vs. Bayley

Rose takes her down to start and trash talking in the corner ensues. Bayley gets driven hard into the corner and a slam gets two. Back up and Mandy bails for a bit as we take a break. We come back with Bayley fighting up and kicking Mandy away from the ropes. The Stunner over the middle rope drops Mandy again but Sonya Deville gets on the apron. The distraction completely fails though as Bayley grabs a rollup for the pin at 8:36.

Rating: D+. This was there to set up something post match and that’s all well and good. I mean, it’s no Goldust vs. John Cena but I’ll take what I can get. Bayley overcoming the odds to win over a lower level opponent makes sense and continues the build to her match with Sasha at Wrestlemania. Good story advancement, not a great match.

Post match Absolution beats Bayley down until Sasha makes the save. Bayley doesn’t buy it.

Women’s History Month video on Eunice Kennedy Shriver, creator of the Special Olympics.

Alexa and Mickie James come in to see Nia, who is icing down the arm. Bliss talks about how Nia might not make it to Wrestlemania this year but she’ll be there one day. She goes on about how Nia was bullied for her size when she was a kid and it continues to this day. Nia breaks down in tears as Bliss tells her to keep fighting before everyone loses all respect for her. This was really good and Nia destroying Bliss for talking down to her should be great.

Ronda Rousey was inducted into the International Sports Hall of Fame over the weekend.

We look at the opening segment again.

Braun Strowman is ready to GIVE THESE HANDS to Elias.

Here’s Elias at a piano before the Symphony of Destruction match. Elias loves symphonies because they’re cultured, unlike this hick town. He goes over to the drums for a little number before picking up the guitar for the weekly song. After saying Milwaukee sucks, Elias, says he can’t stand a single one of the fans. Now it’s time for the regular entrance….and there’s no Elias. Instead he’s bailing through the crowd and into the back to a waiting car. The car doesn’t go anywhere though because Strowman is LIFTING IT OFF THE GROUND. Ok so it’s a good editing trick but still a cool visual.

Elias vs. Braun Strowman

Anything goes and falls count anywhere with musical instruments on the stage. Elias gets out of the powerslam and breaks a guitar over Strowman’s back to limited effect. A top rope elbow gets one and Strowman throws him to the floor. They head to the announcers’ table and Elias escapes another powerslam, only to get shoved into the video wall. The big string bass crushes Elias again and Strowman throws him underneath a piano. After banging on the keys a bit, Braun drops the piano on him and gets the pin at 5:04.

Rating: C-. This could have been a lot more fun but what we got was good enough. I’m not sure where it leads though as this was as one sided as you could have gotten. I can’t imagine we get a Wrestlemania match as a result as there’s no point in having another match after this kind of destruction. That never stopped WWE though so you can probably pencil it in.

Elias does a stretcher job.

Announcement of the Saudi Arabia Royal Rumble next month. Put it on the Network perhaps?

Bray Wyatt vs. Rhyno

Bray runs him over with a clothesline and Sister Abigail is good for the pin at 47 seconds.

Post match Bray calls out Matt Hardy, who appears on screen with music playing behind him. He talks about a battlefield that is worthy of their combat, meaning the Hardy Compound. The video goes to said compound, complete with Vanguard One and Skarsgard, the dilapidated boat. Laughter ensues.

It’s time for the third annual Mizzies, with Miz talking about how awesome his awards are. The Darkest Hour was when the Shape of Water won Best Picture over Marine 5. Three Billboards Outside Ebbing Missouri should be three billboards outside New Orleans, featuring his face. Out first award is for the Superstar Best at Patting Themselves on the back. The nominees:

Seth Rollins for bragging about lasting 65 minutes in a match he lost

Kurt Angle for FINALLY being a good father to Jason Jordan

Finn Balor for winning the Universal Title and holding it less than 24 hours

The winners: Rollins and Balor, neither of whom were invited tonight!

Next up: Worst Decision By a Raw General Manager! The nominees:

Kurt Angle for bringing his son to Raw

Kurt Angle for letting Balor and Rollins into the Elimination Chamber

Kurt Angle for failing to name Miz’s Wrestlemania opponent

Angle wins (no specific incident mentioned) but can’t accept because he’s too busy sucking up to Ronda Rousey. Miz is about to announce the lifetime achievement Mizzie but here’s Rollins to interrupt. Balor cuts him off pretty quickly but Miz says he isn’t sure which of them is a bigger disappointment. This isn’t Japan where Balor can get over on a smile and a hand gesture that isn’t his. Last week was a glorified handicap match so let’s have a real handicap match right now with Miz/Miztourage vs. the two of them. The match is on.

Finn Balor/Seth Rollins vs. Miz/Miztourage

Balor works on Curtis Axel’s arm to start and it’s off to Rollins for an ax handle to said arm. A shot from the apron allows Axel to take over, followed by Bo Dallas dropping a knee. We hit the chinlock for a bit until Rollins dives over for the tag to Balor. A Miz distraction breaks up 1916 and Dallas runs Balor over as we take a break.

Back with Rollins hitting the Falcon Arrow for two on Miz and the low superkick gets the same. Rollins nails a suicide dive on the Miztourage but Balor tags himself in, much to Seth’s annoyance. Finn hits a flip dive of his own but Rollins tags himself in as Finn loads up the Coup de Grace. Instead it’s the Curb Stomp to pin Miz at 11:02.

Rating: C-. I’m fine with this, though they would have been better off to have one of the Miztourage members taking the pin here instead of Miz himself. I know it’s there to set up the triple threat match and that’s all well and good, but do something other than having Miz lose AGAIN, when you have goons there to do it for him.

Post match Angle comes out and announces Miz defending against Rollins and Balor at Wrestlemania.

Fastlane rundown.

Here’s Paul Heyman to respond to Roman Reigns’ comments last week. Heyman lays the title down, saying he’s allowed to do it because Brock Lesnar allows him to. Roman came out here last week and criticized Lesnar’s schedule. The biggest win of Reigns’ career is defeating the Undertaker last year at Wrestlemania. Brock Lesnar did that too and Lesnar is Brock Lesnar 365 days a year.

After Wrestlemania, Brock may let Heyman come out here and lay the title down again. Then maybe he’ll lay the UFC Heavyweight Championship next to it. At Wrestlemania, Reigns is coming for the title but that’s just not happening. Heyman: “And Afa Wrestlemania, you can Sika new title to challenge for, because this one is going home with Brock Lesnar.” Heyman goes to leave but stops to hold up the title. Last week Reigns said Lesnar was a b****. The reality is the title is Lesnar’s b****.

Brock does what he wants with it and looks at it whenever he wants but Reigns has been looking at it. The title, which isn’t a belt or a strap but proof that Lesnar is the best in the universe, is going to have to be pried out of Lesnar’s hot, active fingers. Reigns wants to be champion because it’s his bloodline, but the title is what matters most to Lesnar. If Reigns wants to be the Universal Champion, he can’t go home if he finds out something happened to his father, because someone has to be there to defend and present this title the night after Wrestlemania.

Reigns isn’t the man to take the title from Lesnar and there’s no way around it. Now Reigns knows that he shouldn’t shoot from the hip with Heyman and he shouldn’t shoot in the ring with Lesnar. Heyman goes to leave again but now it’s Reigns coming out to interrupt. Reigns says this is proof that what he said is right: all he did is sent Heyman for his rebuttal. All the fans want is for their champion to show up and want to be here. Brock is going to be in Detroit next week so he better be dressed for a fight. Heyman gets out as fast as he can to end the show.

It’s a good promo from Heyman, albeit a little long. The problem though is all the cheering for Reigns comes to a crashing halt as soon as Brock shows up. If it doesn’t happen on Raw, it’s going to happen at Wrestlemania. It’s a story we’ve tried before and I have no idea why we’re stuck doing it all over again. At least it should be over soon though and the promos have been solid so far.

Overall Rating: C-. The wrestling wasn’t the strongest here but it did what it needed to do: setting up things for Wrestlemania. We came in with one match confirmed and left with three of them, which is a pretty good amount when you consider two of them are top matches. They can continue doing this for a few more weeks and that’s what matters most. Get some more matches set and the show will come together.

As for the stuff on this show….eh. I don’t get having Nia out there to lose to Asuka again and I really don’t get a few of the other matches. What in the world was the point of having Goldust losing to Cena out there? The wrestling was a mess but the storytelling worked, which brings the show up to a higher level. At least this felt like a Wrestlemania buildup show though, which is the first time that’s been the case.

Results

Asuka b. Nia Jax – Cross armbreaker

The Bar b. Revival – Neutralizer to Dawson

John Cena b. Goldust – Attitude Adjustment

Bayley b. Mandy Rose – Rollup

Braun Strowman b. Elias – Strowman dropped a piano on Elias

Bray Wyatt b. Rhyno – Sister Abigail

Finn Balor/Seth Rollins b. Miz/Miztourage – Curb Stomp to Miz

Remember to check out my new forum at steelcageforums.com, follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/01/26/new-book-kbs-history-of-the-wwe-championship-2018-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Main Event
Date: March 1, 2018
Location: Honda Center, Anaheim, California
Commentators: Vic Joseph, Nigel McGuinness

The show is in a weird place this week as we have the build to Wrestlemania beginning on the Raw side but Smackdown has another pay per view to get through before it can head for New Orleans. Hopefully Smackdown at least gets some attention this week, but you never can tell. Let’s get to it.

Here’s this week’s Raw

And this week’s Smackdown

Opening sequence.

Akira Tozawa vs. Ariya Daivari

Tozawa starts with the chops and yelling stomps in the corner. The backsplash gets two but Daivari gets in a neckbreaker for his first offense. A backbreaker onto the knee sets up a chinlock but Tozawa is back up with a Shining Wizard. It’s too early for the backsplash so Tozawa settles for the suicide dive. Back in and a missile dropkick gives Tozawa two, only to eat a superkick. Daivari runs up top so the frog splash can get two. Not that it matters as Tozawa kicks him in the head and drops the top rope backsplash for the pin at 6:20.

Rating: C-. Can we please find someone else for the cruiserweights to beat up? I’ve seen it happen to Daivari so many times now that it’s really hard to care. Tozawa has been lost in the shuffle as of late and that’s a shame because he really is one of the best performers on the roster. Get him out there more often, if nothing else to make people look good.

Package on the men’s Elimination Chamber match. They’re never going to mention Strowman destroying Reigns after the match again are they?

From Raw.

Here’s Roman Reigns for the showdown with Lesnar. Actually never mind, because Reigns says something happened and Lesnar isn’t here. It’s not like it would matter as Lesnar doesn’t show up unless he’s getting paid. Lesnar hides behind his contract and shows up when he feels like it. Last night, Lesnar was in Las Vegas but he was running around with Dana White from the UFC.

Reigns is going to get in trouble for this but he’s here every single week no matter what. He cares about this place and doesn’t just call himself a businessman like Lesnar and Heyman. He’s going to go to the back and take his yelling like a man because he actually cares about this place. This was a few years late, but it’s Roman’s best promo ever. Build this up as a fight and it’s a much more interesting main event.

Also from Raw.

Here’s John Cena to discuss his path to Wrestlemania. Last night he failed in the Elimination Chamber and then had a microphone shoved in his face. He wasn’t sure what to say but now he’s figured it out. After all these failures in the Royal Rumble and the Elimination Chamber, it’s time for a Wrestlemania challenge. It’s time for John Cena to challenge THE UNDERTAKER for Wrestlemania.

The place goes nuts but Cena says that’s not happening either. Cena doesn’t make the matches around here and has been told that match is impossible. Therefore, his road to Wrestlemania now goes through Smackdown, because Cena is a free agent. He’ll be there tomorrow night to earn a spot, so see you then. It’s a good thing we can’t see Cena, because he’s sounding really dumb right now. Apparently everyone without a match right now has failed, meaning everyone but Shinsuke Nakamura, AJ Styles, Lesnar and Reigns have failed. Just please don’t be Undertaker. Please.

From Smackdown.

Here’s John Cena to open things up. He makes no bones about it: he wants in on the Fatal Five Way for the #1 contendership at Fastlane so let’s find out what he has to do to get there. Fans: “NO! NO! NO!” Cue Commissioner Shane McMahon to summarize everything, only to be cut off by a LET’S GO CENA/CENA SUCKS chant.

Cena says half the people want him in the match so he should go in. The fans switch to RUSEV DAY and it seems that Cena will be having a shot. This brings out Daniel Bryan, to say he agrees with Shane. They’re willing to put Cena in the main event and if he wins, he’s in the Fastlane title match. His opponent tonight: AJ Styles. The DQ finish seems obvious and that would make the most sense at this point.

And from later in the night.

AJ Styles vs. John Cena

Non-title. Feeling out process to start with Cena hitting an early shoulder block for two. A chickening/half nelson has AJ in trouble but he fights out with some chops for a breather. The tornado DDT out of the corner lands awkwardly and gives Cena two as we take a break. Back with Cena hitting the ProtoBomb and Five Knuckle Shuffle but AJ comes back with the fireman’s carry neckbreaker for a near fall of his own.

A TKO of all things gives Cena the same and Baron Corbin is watching in the back. AJ’s torture rack neckbreaker and Cena’s hard running clothesline get two each but Cena charges into an enziguri as we take another break. Back again with AJ getting two off a clothesline of his own but a Lionsault misses. Cena grabs a Code Red for two more and floats over from the near fall into the STF.

That’s reversed as well and the Phenomenal Forearm gets two. The springboard 450 hits knees though and the AA connects. Cena tries another though and winds up on the floor where a missed charge sends him into the steps. AJ won’t take the countout though and gets AA’d through the announcers’ table for a knockout. Cena rolls back in as the referee checks on AJ, meaning Styles can dive back in to beat the ten count. There’s the Calf Crusher but Cena powers to his feet for another AA and the pin at 22:00.

Rating: B+. These two could have a good match in their sleep so this is no surprise. It’s also not a surprise that Cena is going to the pay per view where he can have another shot at Wrestlemania, which means he’s likely losing at Fastlane so we can set up Cena vs. Undertaker in less than a month. Still though, as good as you would have expected here.

Fastlane rundown.

Curt Hawkins vs. Goldust

They fight over a wristlock to start and Hawkins bails to the ropes to get out of a headlock. That means a spank and Hawkins is begging for a DQ because he was in the ropes. Goldust can’t breathe thanks to running the ropes but Hawkins lays down so Goldust can pin him. Of course this doesn’t work but the small package does get two. Goldust gets knocked outside and we take a break. Back with Hawkins getting two off a Michinoku Driver, only to get caught in the Golden Cross (basically Cross Rhodes) for the pin at 7:38.

Rating: D+. The comedy wasn’t bad here but much like the cruiserweight matches, if you’ve seen it once, you’ve seen all it has to offer. Hawkins never winning is funny, but I’m getting curious about how they’re going to pay it off. Unless he beats a big name to advance their story, I’m not sure what the point of the whole thing is other than low level comedy.

Stills from the women’s Elimination Chamber and Asuka vs. Nia Jax.

Video on the Ronda Rousey signing from Elimination Chamber.

From Raw again.

Here are HHH and Stephanie for the response to last night. First though, here’s the same video package for the third time. Stephanie says that was Ronda acting out of savage instinct and the slap was to remind her of who is boss. Now though we need an apology from Kurt Angle so we can get on the Road to Wrestlemania. Instead here’s a ticked off Ronda but Kurt runs down and cuts her off.

Ronda talks about having never been slapped before and how that took her to a different place. Angle says he needs this job but last night, he lied. The things he said HHH and Stephanie said aren’t true. Stephanie gets back in and says they’re not bad people and goes to leave again. Ronda says not so fast and says it’s Stephanie who needs to apologize to her. If she doesn’t, Stephanie’s arm is coming out of its socket. Stephanie gets in her face and apologizes in a funny bit. The bosses go to leave again but HHH punches Kurt in the face on the way out.

Overall Rating: C+. This is the kind of thing Main Event should be for: it recapped the top stories and while there’s a lot more to look at, this at least managed to cover almost everything that was needed. It’s not easy to cram five plus hours of material (not counting the stuff from Elimination Chamber) into a forty five minute show, especially considering the two bonus match. As it was though, they did it quite well here and the show was easy to watch as a result.

Remember to check out my new forum at steelcageforums.com and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/01/26/new-book-kbs-history-of-the-wwe-championship-2018-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 31, 1999
Location: Mark of the Quad, Moline, Illinois
Attendance: 9,755
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

So I started running through the 1999 Monday Night Raw shows and got near the end of May….before stopping for about three and a half years. That’s enough time to recharge my batteries so we’ll get back to it here. Undertaker won the WWF World Title eight days ago and everything is about the Corporate Ministry right now. Let’s get to it.

In case you don’t remember that far back, here’s last week’s show (this is a special one)

I’ve already done next week’s show (this is a big one)

We open with a recap of Shane McMahon screwing Steve Austin out of the WWF Title at Over the Edge. That Smoking Skull belt is still cool but doesn’t look right in anyone else’s hands.

Opening sequence.

Here’s the Corporate Ministry and Undertaker has promised that we’ll be meeting the Higher Power tonight. Druids are carrying out Undertaker’s symbol and I forgot how much I don’t like this aspect of the story. Undertaker sends the druids to the floor, leaving only the ten members in the ring. Shane brags about using his right hand to take the title from Austin, even demonstrating his much slower count.

Undertaker talks in a very un-Undertaker like fashion, saying there’s nothing Austin can do about Undertaker being champion. For a bigger deal though, Undertaker has been promising “him” Austin’s mind, body and soul. Tonight the Higher/Greater (it’s used interchangeably) Power will be here and Austin will look into his eyes.

Cue Vince to say he’s going to screw Undertaker tonight. That’s because tonight, Undertaker is defending the title against Steve Austin. Shane says not so fast, because the match can take place but it’s non-title. Vince isn’t done though because he’s going to face Undertaker as well after everything Undertaker has done. Shane is cool with that too and if Vince can win, the match against Austin is for the title. If anyone interferes, Austin NEVER gets another title shot. The Ministry goes to leave but Austin is a druid, triggering a brawl with the Union (Mankind, Test, Ken Shamrock and Big Show) coming in to help.

Post break, Austin yells at the Union for some reason.

Big Show vs. Billy Gunn

Gunn gets TOSSED into the corner for a cool visual to start. A running dropkick to the knee cuts Show down as Gunn shows some rare intelligence. Show is back with a boot to the face though and Gunn walks out before the chokeslam.

Road Dogg jumps Gunn in the aisle and the fight is on with Gunn being sent back inside for the chokeslam.

And now, Beaver Cleavage, the incest character that Russo probably thought was a combination of brilliant and hilarious.

Pat Patterson and Gerald Brisco can’t talk Vince out of fighting Undertaker.

Christian vs. Beaver Cleavage

This is Beaver’s debut and OF COURSE his real first name is Harry. Naturally he comes out in black and white with the video quality going down to resemble a 1950s sitcom. Beaver gets two off a powerslam but Christian gets the same off a facebuster. Some right hands in the corner don’t get Christian far as Beaver drops him face first onto the turnbuckle.

Beaver gets in a good looking springboard clothesline to the floor, which is a positive but doesn’t erase the fact that his name is Harry Beaver Cleavage. Back in and Christian grabs a belly to back suplex, followed by the reverse layout DDT. Cue Michael Hayes and the Hardys with a cane shot to Christian’s head. Beaver’s reverse suplex is good for the pin.

Rating: F. His name is Harry Beaver Cleavage. If that doesn’t explain the rating to you, I don’t know what else to say. What’s so annoying is the guy wasn’t a bad athlete (he was good as Mosh) but the name and gimmick is nothing more than a way to make Russo laugh and that doesn’t make for anything more than a comedy character. Besides, it’s not funny.

Christian goes after the Hardys and Hayes but Edge and Gangrel make the save.

Undertaker says no one is standing in his way tonight.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. The Godfather

Godfather is defending in this battle of Hall of Famers. After Godfather does his thing, he mentions that Debra should belong to him (he won her in a match but Jarrett said no). When he wins tonight, Debra rides the Ho Train and everyone sees the puppies. JR: “Of course Jerry Lawler will be supporting the Intercontinental Champion.” Lawler: “LET’S GO GODFATHER!”

Godfather charges into an early knee and a middle rope clothesline keeps him in trouble. A high crossbody gives Jeff two as Lawler wants to open a puppy resort. Godfather is right back up with the Ho Train and a big boot but Debra offers a distraction. The jacket is opened up but one of the Ho’s takes hers off too. The distraction lets Jarrett hit Godfather with Debra’s Women’s Title to get the belt back.

Rating: D. This would be the third match centered around some for of anatomy and that’s getting to be a little hard to take. I can get why this was entertaining when I was eleven, but my goodness it’s getting to be a little hard to take this time around. Jarrett winning the title back is a good idea as Godfather is hardly a long term champion. The fact that this is the fifth title change of the year so far isn’t a good sign though.

Undertaker vs. Vince McMahon

Non-title, though the thought of Vince winning the title is laughable at best. Especially in 1999. Vince doesn’t have any music here, which is a really weird visual. Undertaker wastes no time in slugging away but Paul Bearer accidentally offers a distraction, allowing Vince to get in a low blow. More pummeling of the boss ensues….and Undertaker shoves the referee for a fast DQ.

Austin says he doesn’t need any help.

Here’s Mankind for a chat. It’s time for the Union to get some payback so he wants HHH out here right now. He’d like that match to be hardcore but there’s one more thing that needs to be covered. Mankind has heard about Chyna checking him out in the back. Maybe it’s because of his charm or maybe it’s because of that time she walked in on him in the shower when he was picking up the soap. It was clear that she wanted to touch him in an impure way. Tonight, he’s going to give her a chance to see the merchandise, if you smell where his sock is hiding.

During the break, Big Boss Man jumped Mankind and they’re still fighting when we get back. As luck would have it, Boss Man has a match.

Road Dogg vs. Big Boss Man

Dogg hits him in the head with the microphone but walks into a side slam for two anyway. The Shake Rattle and Roll into the shaky knee drop gives Dogg two but a spinebuster takes him down again. They fight over the nightstick until Boss Man hits him in the head for the DQ. This might as well have been a brawl instead of a match.

Post match the referee takes the nightstick away so Boss Man whips out a chain to choke Dogg.

Shane throws a fit in the back, which presumably has been going on for about ten minutes now.

Tag Team Titles: X-Pac/Kane vs. Acolytes

X-Pac and Kane are defending. Faarooq misses a charge in the corner to start and X-Pac snaps off the kicks to put him down. That means a double tag with Kane sending Bradshaw into the corner without wasting much time. The big clothesline puts Kane on the floor but he’s right back in with the top rope clothesline. I would say that’ll teach Bradshaw but he seems a bit hard headed at times.

Kane tags X-Pac in to Jerry’s shock, because Russo likes to book teams that hate each other. Cue Shane to cheer the Acolytes on as X-Pac’s spinning kick is countered into a slam for two. The second kick connects though and it’s Kane back in to clean house. Faarooq cuts him off with a powerslam but Kane sits up in short order. Shane breaks up the Bronco Buster with a char though and the Clothesline gives Bradshaw the pin on X-Pac.

Rating: D. I’d rather the titles go on a team that actually gets along, even if this feels like another title change for the sake of having a title change. X-Pac and Kane were fine for an oddball tag team but it got really annoying when X-Pac was the giant killer and beating people like Big Show with the still lame X Factor. As usual though, another angle disguised as a match.

GDTV takes us to the bathroom where someone is having some stomach issues, complete with sound effects. D’Lo Brown comes in and it’s Mark Henry having said issues. This has been another unfunny segment that is supposed to make Russo laugh.

Val Venis vs. Ken Shamrock

Venis has Nicole Bass with him in a story I had tried to forget. They trade right hands to start until Val has to bail away from a cross armbreaker. A spinebuster gives Val two but Shamrock gets the same off a DDT. Val slams him down but the Money Shot misses. Cue Jarrett to distract Shamrock though, allowing Val to grab a small package for the pin.

Shamrock destroys Venis post match. Val blames Nicole for the loss…but she can make it up to him.

Undertaker promises to destroy Austin.

HHH vs. Mankind

Hardcore rules. HHH hammers away to start but that’s just not going to work very well against someone like Mankind. They’re quickly into the crowd with Mankind beating the fire out of HHH, who is tossed back over the barricade. There’s a suplex on the floor and Chyna sends Mankind into the steps. The sledgehammer shot only hits the steps so HHH backdrops him onto a chair instead.

A Pedigree on the chair on the floor is countered though with HHH getting catapulted into the post instead. HHH is right back up and knocks Mankind into Chyna into the steps, but it doesn’t seem to cause too much damage. Back in and the Mandible Claw goes on, only to have Chyna hit Mankind low with the hammer. That earns her the Mandible Claw of her own but HHH blasts Mankind in the knee with the hammer for the pin.

Rating: C. These two are always worth a look though the ending is pretty obviously just there to write Mankind off for a bit. That’s all well and good, as Rock and Austin are more than capable of being the top guys who can fight off the evil. It also gives HHH a nice rub as taking out Mankind is something Undertaker never could quite do. Not a bad hardcore match either.

Post match HHH stays on the knee until Rock makes the save. That would be Mankind’s last match until August.

Post break, Mankind is taken away in an ambulance with Test riding with him. Geez that might be worse.

WWF World Title: Undertaker vs. Steve Austin

Undertaker is defending and his symbol is now back on the stage. Austin wastes no time in wrapping the legs around the post, followed by a good crotching. The Thesz press and middle finger elbow are good for two and a clothesline puts Undertaker on the floor. Austin rams him into various things but his piledriver is countered with a backdrop. With Undertaker slugging away, Austin kicks him low (very common move on this show) and they head back inside.

Austin kicks him in the face to block a backdrop (thankfully avoiding the head snapping up) and nails a clothesline. They head outside again with Austin being sent hip first into the post of the steps. A suplex on the floor keeps Austin in trouble but he’s right back with right hands inside. The running crotch attack misses but it’s a Stunner to drop Undertaker. Bearer pulls the referee out so here comes the Ministry for the DQ.

Rating: C-. Much like HHH vs. Mankind, these two are always worth a look, even if they didn’t have anywhere near the same level of chemistry. It’s pretty clear looking back that the title wasn’t changing hands here but at the time, it wasn’t out of the question to see it happening. Then again, a clean (well, clean by 1999 standards) ending wasn’t likely no matter what.

Austin gets tied in the ropes and here comes the Higher Power, of course with his face covered by a robe. He leans over to Austin, pulls open the robe and looks at Austin. The stunned look from Austin takes us out and OF COURSE he never actually said who was under the hood until after the reveal.

Overall Rating: D+. I’ve said it many times but these shows REALLY don’t hold up. Sure they were fun to watch week to week when there was the drama of who would it be (I was glued to the screen the next week to find out who was under the robe) but everything else is just so lame. Above all else though, the horrible names and sex puns. It’s so sophomoric and just flat out not funny that it gets very tiresome after about five minutes.

There is some good stuff on here though and shockingly enough, it’s when you have top stars being able to make something out of this drek. Austin, Undertaker, HHH and Mankind are as good as you would expect and can carry a lot of this nonsense. They’re people who are going to be interesting no matter what they’re doing and it shows here. Next week is ALL drama though and that’s what they were selling here, which helps so much. But yeah, not a strong show here with a lot of Russo’s issues shining through.

Remember to check out my new forum at steelcageforums.com and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/01/26/new-book-kbs-history-of-the-wwe-championship-2018-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 26, 2018
Location: Honda Center, Anaheim, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Jonathan Coachman

It’s the night after Elimination Chamber and the first of six Monday Night Raws before we get to New Orleans for Wrestlemania XXXIV. Last night saw the most obvious of obvious endings with Roman Reigns winning the Elimination Chamber, basically taking him from not doing much to being in the biggest match of the year overnight. You can’t fight that script you see. Let’s get to it.

Here’s last week’s show.

And last night’s pay per view.

We open with a recap of Reigns winning the Chamber.

Here’s an abbreviated version of the HHH/Stephanie McMahon/Kurt Angle/Ronda Rousey segment. Stephanie has DEMANDED an apology tonight. Well now it’s serious.

Here are Alexa Bliss and the now heel Mickie James for a chat. Bliss brags about the win last night and says she knew it would happen. Mickie gets some praise as well before Bliss talks about how she’s the greatest thing ever on Raw. Bayley is a lost cause and Sasha’s big ego caught up to her again.

Alexa hopes Asuka is ready for Wrestlemania so here’s Asuka in person. Asuka storms to the ring but Bliss cuts her off, saying Jax should have been in the match but she made one mistake. Cue Jax so Asuka goes after Bliss and James, only to get dropped by Jax. A triangle choke has Jax in trouble but Bliss and James come back in for the save. Cue Bayley and Sasha for the save but Jax lays them out too.

Bayley/Sasha Banks/Asuka vs. Nia Jax/Alexa Bliss/Mickie James

Joined in progress in the match you knew was coming. Bayley gets beaten down with a few shots to the back, including a hard one from Bliss. It’s quickly off to Banks though and the double knees in the corner get two on Alexa. Sasha gets sent to the floor though and Jax runs her over like she’s not even there.

Back from a break with Banks in trouble off a Mickie chinlock. Banks kicks her away and loads up a tag but Bayley drops to the floor and stands in the aisle. Instead it’s off to Asuka (so Sasha gets an upgrade) for the rapid fire kicks, followed by a rolling leg/armbar to make Mickie tap out at 10:53.

Rating: C-. I can’t count how man times I’ve seen some incarnation of this match. Bayley FINALLY wising up and doing something logical was nice to see but other than that, this was every six woman tag you’ve seen over and over again. You can pretty much book Bliss vs. Jax for the title and that’s the best option, but we need a better way of booking the women and soon.

Here’s John Cena to discuss his path to Wrestlemania. Last night he failed in the Elimination Chamber and then had a microphone shoved in his face. He wasn’t sure what to say but now he’s figured it out. After all these failures in the Royal Rumble and the Elimination Chamber, it’s time for a Wrestlemania challenge. It’s time for John Cena to challenge THE UNDERTAKER for Wrestlemania.

The place goes nuts but Cena says that’s not happening either. Cena doesn’t make the matches around here and has been told that match is impossible. Therefore, his road to Wrestlemania now goes through Smackdown, because Cena is a free agent. He’ll be there tomorrow night to earn a spot, so see you then. It’s a good thing we can’t see Cena, because he’s sounding really dumb right now. Apparently everyone without a match right now has failed, meaning everyone but Shinsuke Nakamura, AJ Styles, Lesnar and Reigns have failed. Just please don’t be Undertaker. Please.

Heath Slater vs. Bray Wyatt

Bray beats up Slater and Rhyno before the bell rings. The beating ensues and there’s no match.

Post match Bray sits in the corner with his eyes looking like he’s about to cry. This is all on Matt Hardy for driving Bray to this. The Great War is still going and they will face each other again. Well it didn’t work the first two times so maybe the third is the right idea.

We see the Rousey package again.

Here’s Miz to have his Wrestlemania opponent announced. First of all, we hear about how awesome Hollywood is and how Miz is only 62 days before becoming the longest reigning Intercontinental Champion of all time. After that, he’ll be the greatest champion of all time. Not Chris Jericho, not Edge, not Bret Hart and not Shawn Michaels. He’s still no Tito Santana.

Miz is tired of being treated like a joke without even having merchandise to be sold. He wants to know his opponent for Wrestlemania so earlier today he asked Kurt Angle. All he was told was that his opponent tonight MIGHT tell him who that is going to be. This sends Miz into a rant about how he deserves better than might because he’s carried this show for the last year. Here’s tonight’s opponent.

Seth Rollins vs. The Miz

Non-title. Rollins sends him outside in short order but the Miztourage get in a few shots to take over. Miz whips Seth into the barricade and they head back inside for a chinlock. The YES Kicks have Rollins in trouble and allow the announcers to debate who invented them again. Seth gets tossed to the floor again and we take a break.

Back with Seth getting back into it but not being able to hit the frog splash. Miz scores with the corner dropkicks but the top rope ax handle is broken up with a quick crotching. The superplex into a Falcon Arrow gets two on Miz but Rollins hits a dive onto the Miztourage. Back in and the frog splash (with a BIG leap) gives Rollins the pin at 14:24.

Post match here’s Finn Balor and it’s time for round two.

Finn Balor vs. The Miz

Non-title again….and the Miztourage comes in for the DQ at 24 seconds.

Anderson and Gallows come in for the save but Angle pops up on screen to say we’re continuing until there’s a winner or Miz isn’t going until Wrestlemania.

Finn Balor vs. The Miz

Non-title. Miz hits a running corner dropkick and gets two off a DDT. More shots to the back and a faceplant gets two on Balor as this is one sided so far. A running knee gives Miz two and we take a break. Back with Balor jawbreaking his way out of a chinlock and hitting a kick to the head. The announcers argue over who should be #1 contender.

Cole says Balor should get a shot if he pins Miz, just like Rollins. Graves logically points out that Miz isn’t fresh coming into this match, which makes far too much sense for this. Balor hits something like an Eye of the Hurricane for two, followed by the Sling Blade to rock Miz again. The Coup de Grace gives Balor the pin at 10:50.

Rating: C-. This was all angle but Cole sounded really stupid saying it was a fair exchange. As Graves pointed out, Balor beat a worn down Miz and somehow that’s supposed to be the same thing. I’m sure there will be several other wrestlers added to the match because that’s how the Intercontinental Title match works and it’s not like there’s a big match to be wasted otherwise where you can put these people in to make it matter.

Post match, Cole yells at Graves for being a Miz propaganda machine as Graves wants Mantaur and Abe Knuckleball Schwartz out here. Maybe they can beat Miz too and it’ll be the same thing!

Rollins says there’s more than one way to Wrestlemania and he knows how to get there. He wants Miz and the Intercontinental Title and he wants them at Wrestlemania.

Here’s Roman Reigns for the showdown with Lesnar. Actually never mind, because Reigns says something happened and Lesnar isn’t here. It’s not like it would matter as Lesnar doesn’t show up unless he’s getting paid. Lesnar hides behind his contract and shows up when he feels like it. Last night, Lesnar was in Las Vegas but he was running around with Dana White from the UFC.

Reigns is going to get in trouble for this but he’s here every single week no matter what. He cares about this place and doesn’t just call himself a businessman like Lesnar and Heyman. He’s going to go to the back and take his yelling like a man because he actually cares about this place. This was a few years late, but it’s Roman’s best promo ever. Build this up as a fight and it’s a much more interesting main event.

Braun Strowman is going to put a symphony of destruction on Elias tonight.

Black History Month video.

Tag Team Titles: The Bar vs. Titus Worldwide

The Bar is defending and this is 2/3 falls. Brogue Kick gives Sheamus the first fall over Titus at 9 seconds. Apollo comes in to give Titus a break and scores with a dropkick. It’s back to Titus for a slam, followed by Apollo’s jumping elbow for two. Back from a break with the champs still in control but Apollo getting over for a hot tag to Titus.

Something like a Dominator/shoulder breaker (looked a bit botched) plants Sheamus and Apollo adds a frog splash for two. The standing moonsault gets the same with Cesaro making the save. Apollo dives over the top onto Sheamus but gets crotched back inside. The assisted White Noise retains the titles in two straight falls at 11:19.

Rating: C+. We’ve seen this match several times now and it’s not exactly doing anything to show the depth of the tag division. Really at this point it has to be Bar vs. Revival at Wrestlemania as there’s no one left for them to face. That being said, I’m not sure who benefited from having them split this many wins. Titus Worldwide does get a rub, but it doesn’t matter if they’re done as a title contender with no one left to fight. But at least they killed a few months, which is the lone benefit from this thing.

Post match the Bar celebrates, saying they have Titus Worldwide’s number and it’s zero. They brag about their string of success but there’s no one left to face.

Jarrius Robertson, a double liver transplant survivor, is getting the Warrior Award at the Hall of Fame.

Here’s Elias with the guitar to talk about noise pollution. Braun Strowman is noise pollution. Everything Graves says is noise pollution. It’s time for the song and of course it calls the crowd a bunch of losers, just like Strowman.

Braun Strowman vs. Elias

Elias tries to bail to the floor but Braun easily catches him and throws Elias around the ring a bit. A double ax handle to the chest sets up a running splash in the corner. Strowman hits him in the head but gets his throat snapped across the top rope. Elias scores with a top rope ax handle but is quickly cut off as Strowman just runs him over. They head to the floor with Elias hiding grabbing a fire extinguisher to spray Strowman for the DQ at 5:04.

Rating: D. This was an angle instead of a match as they seem to be setting up a rematch at Wrestlemania. I’ve heard of worse ideas and it would be nice to have them put together something with two younger guys like this for a change. Strowman deserves a fun win at the show anyway. Well he deserves the World Title but that can’t happen here.

Post match Elias gets punched to the floor but slips out of the powerslam through the announcers’ table. Elias gets into the parking lot and escapes as a limo pulls up.

Here are HHH and Stephanie for the response to last night. First though, here’s the same video package for the third time. Stephanie says that was Ronda acting out of savage instinct and the slap was to remind her of who is boss. Now though we need an apology from Kurt Angle so we can get on the Road to Wrestlemania. Instead here’s a ticked off Ronda but Kurt runs down and cuts her off.

Ronda talks about having never been slapped before and how that took her to a different place. Angle says he needs this job but last night, he lied. The things he said HHH and Stephanie said aren’t true. Stephanie gets back in and says they’re not bad people and goes to leave again. Ronda says not so fast and says it’s Stephanie who needs to apologize to her. If she doesn’t, Stephanie’s arm is coming out of its socket. Stephanie gets in her face and apologizes in a funny bit. The bosses go to leave again but HHH punches Kurt in the face on the way out.

No word on who was in the limo.

Overall Rating: C. This was an up and down show as they kept teasing setting up stuff for Wrestlemania but nothing was actually announced. They have five shows left and it would be nice to have something actually set up instead of being hinted at. They’re running out of time and that needs to light a fire under them already. It’s not a bad show but they need to do something pretty soon.

Results

Bayley/Sasha Banks/Asuka b. Mickie James/Alexa Bliss/Nia Jax – Armbar to James

Seth Rollins b. The Miz – Frog splash

Finn Balor b. The Miz via DQ when the Miztourage interfered

Finn Balor b. The Miz – Coup de Grace

The Bar b. Titus Worldwide – Assisted White Noise to Apollo

Braun Strowman b. Elias via DQ when Elias sprayed him with a fire extinguisher

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/01/26/new-book-kbs-history-of-the-wwe-championship-2018-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Elimination Chamber 2018
Date: February 25, 2018
Location: T-Mobile Arena, Paradise, Nevada
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Jonathan Coachman

We’re only two stops away from Wrestlemania now because it just wouldn’t be right to not squeeze in a pair of pay per views between the Royal Rumble and Wrestlemania. Tonight is a show of pretty predictable endings but at least the Elimination Chamber matches themselves should be a lot of fun. Let’s get to it.

Here’s the go home Raw.

And last year’s show.

Kickoff Show: Anderson and Gallows vs. Miztourage

Axel headlocks Anderson to start but gets kicked in the face as the announcers talk about Sasha Banks. A clothesline takes Axel down again and there’s the HI-YAH kick in the corner. Back from a break with Axel slowly stomping Anderson down as the announcers talk about the stars being out in Vegas tonight. Anderson gets in a clothesline and rolls over for the hot tag to Gallows. A high kick to Axel has the Miztourage in trouble but the referee says there was no tag. Not that it matters as Anderson grabs the spinning spinebuster to set up the real hot tag. The Magic Killer puts Dallas away at 8:49.

Rating: D+. Total Raw level tag match here and that’s not the best thing in the world. The Revival needs to be in this picture a lot sooner, hopefully getting the titles somewhere around Wrestlemania (the night after would be a good place). Odds are this sets up a six man or Miz vs. Balor and that’s all it should be doing.

The opening video is standard fare: tonight is the last way to get to Wrestlemania and it involves the most dangerous structure.

We hit a long package on the Women’s Elimination Chamber. It’s a big part of the Women’s Revolution (take a shot every time you hear that in the video) as we’ve never had one before. The winner goes on to face someone, possibly Asuka, at Wrestlemania.

Women’s Title: Alexa Bliss vs. Bayley vs. Sasha Banks vs. Mandy Rose vs. Sonya Deville vs. Mickie James

Bliss is defending, the entrance intervals are five minutes and it’s Mickie vs. Bayley to start things off. Feeling out process to start with Bayley taking over and hitting an early bulldog. Sonya sends her over the top and onto the cage floor but Bayley jumps onto the wall to avoid some pain. Sonya gets send hard into the Chamber wall for two and Bayley goes up. That sends Sonya back to the floor so Bayley drops the elbow there for two (inside the ring of course) instead. We hit the chinlock until Mandy is in third.

A quick Stunner over the ropes cuts Mandy off and the fans are behind Bayley in the glorified handicap match. Bayley gets taken outside and driven hard onto the floor as the numbers game starts taking over. The double teaming continues with Mandy hitting a middle rope knee to the chest for two. Bayley gets her arms hung up in the wall so Absolution can fire in strikes to the ribs but the clock starts ticking down. Mandy and Sonya actually realize it and are waiting in Sasha, who comes in fourth.

House is cleaned in a hurry and the running double knees get two on Sonya. With Mandy down, Sasha and Bayley double team Sonya into the Chamber. Mandy gets back up and hits a German suplex faceplant (Fan: “THAT WAS DOPE!”) on Sasha, only to get caught in the Bank Statement for the tap at 13:50. Mickie James (in Wonder Woman gear) is in fifth and cleans house, as is the custom for someone joining the match. A hurricanrana from the Chamber wall drops Deville and it’s only Mickie standing. James heads to the top of a pod and it’s a huge Thesz press to get rid of Deville at 17:40.

Not that it matters as the Backstabber into the Bayley to Belly eliminates Mickie at 18:03 (so much for the last few weeks of Bliss and Mickie being friends), leaving us with Bayley and Banks in the ring as we wait on Bliss. Alexa finally comes in and climbs the wall but is surrounded in a hurry. She tries to crawl from side to side and winds up on a pod….but Banks turns on Bayley by kicking her down.

Bliss sends Banks into the buckles though and slaps the heck out of Bayley for two. Bayley is back up and ties Banks in the Tree of Woe for a stomping but Bliss catches her on top in a superplex. Banks’ frog splash gets two on Bayley but she’s back up with a super Bayley to Belly. A rollup gets rid of Bayley at 25:39 and we’re down to two. Twisted Bliss hits Banks’ knees so she fires off knees against the Chamber.

One misses though and Bliss drills her from behind to take over again. Another Twisted Bliss on the floor crushes Sasha but it doesn’t count so Banks reverses into the Bank Statement. They head inside with Bliss driving her into the corner but Banks kicks her down. Sasha looks up to the top of a pod and this isn’t going to go well. Alexa kicks her face first into the pod and an elevated DDT retains the title at 29:42.

Rating: C. It got WAY better once Bliss came in but this didn’t need to be a Chamber match. No one bought anyone but Banks and Bliss (or maybe Bayley) as winning here and Bliss winning was the obvious choice. The Thesz press was a cool spot but the Twisted Bliss should have been the finish. Still though, not terrible and better than some of the men’s matches over the years.

Post match, with Banks crying on the steps, Bliss gives an emotional speech about how this is proof that you can accomplish your dreams. This is for everyone who has ever dreamed big….and none of you will ever accomplish anything. She is the one true goddess of WWE and that is never going to change. Thank goodness, as Bliss is a million times better as a heel.

Braun Strowman is ready to go to Wrestlemania and make Brock Lesnar his little beastie boy.

Tag Team Titles: Titus Worldwide vs. The Bar

The Bar is defending and jump the challengers early on, only to have Apollo hit a big dive to the floor. We settle down to Cesaro uppercutting Apollo for two, followed by Sheamus coming in for an armbar. Cesaro hits a front facelock and brings Sheamus back in for another armbar. It would be nice if they mixed the submissions up but that’s not likely to happen in a cool down match like this.

Cesaro grabs a chinlock and again it’s back to Sheamus for a front facelock. Geez at least pretend to try. Apollo sends Sheamus shoulder first into the post and it’s off to Titus for the power game. Cesaro gets pulled out of the air and Sheamus dives into the Clash of the Titus for two. Apollo’s high crossbody into the standing moonsault gets two but Titus gets sent outside. A chop block into the assisted White Noise retains the titles at 10:03.

Rating: D+. Another standard Raw tag match here, and actually worse than most of their previous matches. The ending was a bit of a surprise but I’d rather a bigger team take the titles from the Bar than a short run team. The problem though is who gets to take those titles from them, as there aren’t exactly a bunch of face teams worth much at the moment.

Trailer for the Andre the Giant documentary. That looks amazing.

Video on Asuka vs. Nia Jax. Nia wants to break the streak and that’s about it.

Asuka by the numbers video.

Nia Jax vs. Asuka

If Nia wins, she’s added to the Women’s Title match at Wrestlemania. Nia wastes no time in throwing Asuka around, including tossing away the jumping armbar. Something like a curb stomp into a running elbow gets two. Asuka strikes away for some effect but gets taken down again in short order. Another armbar is countered into a slam (close to a Jackhammer) but this time Nia isn’t following up as fast.

Asuka’s kicks to the chest are shrugged off for a Samoan drop and another near fall. A big kick to the face gets two and Asuka is looking frustrated. Asuka goes up top but gets slammed down, only to avoid the middle rope splash. The cross armbreaker goes on but Nia rolls over and drives her into the corner for the break. Nia shouts a lot and tries a powerbomb, which is reversed into a hurricanrana to give Asuka the pin at 8:13.

Rating: C. And…well yeah really. I have no idea why this is surprising to anyone as it’s EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENS TO NIA EVERY SINGLE TIME. This was the most predictable ending on the show and that’s saying a lot when you have Roman Reigns in a #1 contenders match for Wrestlemania.

Post match Nia is still livid and drives Asuka through the barricade.

Bliss says no one is ready for her.

Roman Reigns isn’t worried about Paul Heyman’s threats on the Kickoff Show because he’s winning the Chamber and the title.

We recap Bray Wyatt vs. Matt Hardy. Matt was sick of losing and finally became awoken, setting up the battle of creepy characters with weird laughs.

Matt Hardy vs. Bray Wyatt

Matt comes out first and Bray does his appear in the ring entrance….but Matt disappears. We get a Matt voiceover with him saying the words Jeff used to use in Impact Wrestling (you’ll fade away and classify yourself as obsolete). Matt says tonight we delete but Bray can’t find him. Finally Matt pops up and jumps Bray in a bit of an anti-climactic moment. The bell rings and Bray isn’t sure what to do, so Matt offers some applause. The Twist of Fate is broken up and Bray hits his running body block.

We hit the chinlock and it’s BEACH BALL TIME BECAUSE A WRESTLING SHOW NEEDS A BEACH BALL FOR ENTERTAINMENT! It seems to be taken away as Bray stomps on Matt but charges into a boot to the face. A tornado DDT drops Wyatt and the Side Effect gets two. Matt takes too long loading up the middle rope elbow and it’s a release Rock Bottom to take him down. The middle rope backsplash misses though and Matt reverses Sister Abigail into a Twist of Fate for the pin at 9:50.

Rating: C. And that’s it for the feud being interesting, even though this wasn’t all that much in the first place. Matt has lost all of his steam and Bray didn’t have any steam in the first place. Wyatt needs to either go away for a long time or have a crisis and turn face, because this is making things worse and worse every week.

Long package on Ronda Rousey, the same that has aired on Raw.

It’s time for the Rousey signing, with Kurt Angle, Stephanie McMahon and HHH out with her. HHH gives her a big introduction and here’s Ronda, with Stephanie welcoming her as well. Ronda seems taken aback to be here and talks about how amazing it is to be in the ring with Kurt.

We stop for a Ronda chant but HHH wants to get down to business. They’re ready to sign the contract, which will put Rousey on the Wrestlemania card. Ronda doesn’t want to be given anything special so that’s fine with her. I mean, it puts her in Fandango territory. Rousey is about to sign but Angle has a look on his face. She asks if he has something to say and Kurt praises HHH and Stephanie.

They wanted to manipulate her for what happened at Wrestlemania XXXI (not XXI Kurt). Apparently HHH said “three years in the making and now we own the b….”. HHH: “KURT SHUT UP!” He blames the flu for Kurt’s statements and the men leave. Stephanie starts getting serious and wants to sign the contract but Angle says hang on a second. Apparently Stephanie has been calling Ronda a has been and even she could beat Rousey up. Rousey goes to the angry face and backs Stephanie up to the ropes but HHH makes the save. Ronda shoves his arms away too and slams HHH through the table.

That earns her the big slap from Stephanie….and then reality sets in. Fans: “YOU F***ED UP!” Stephanie bails and Rousey signs the contract. This was EXACTLY how it should have been and far better than the Rumble. It’s a perfectly done story and Angle in the tag match (possibly fighting for his job) is the right way to go. Have Rousey break Stephanie’s arm into 34 pieces in New Orleans and everything is fine.

Long recap of the Men’s Elimination Chamber. Everyone wants to face Lesnar and that’s about it.

Elias vs. Seth Rollins vs. Finn Balor vs. Roman Reigns vs. The Miz vs. Braun Strowman vs. John Cena

The winner faces Lesnar at Wrestlemania. Elias has a song for us about how he’s not scared of anyone, including Lesnar, who he’ll beat when he gets his chance. Miz, Balor and Rollins will start things off because quantity means quality. It’s Miz going for the early alliances but his Too Sweet is shot down. Instead it’s Rollins and Balor joining forces, only to roll Balor up for two in short order. Miz’s sunset flip is countered with a basement dropkick for two and it’s time to trade reversals.

Rollins is right back up with the springboard clothesline as Cole mentions Rollins having more pay per view wins in the last five years than anyone else. The Skull Crushing Finale is broken up so Rollins goes with the double Blockbuster for two each instead. It’s Cena in fourth and that means a showdown with Rollins. They talk a lot of trash about how this is to go to Wrestlemania and the shoulder blocks put Rollins down. A ProtoBomb to Miz sets up a double Shuffle. Balor is back in so Cena throws both he and Rollins onto his shoulders. That goes nowhere so Miz gets two on Rollins off the Reality Check.

Cena superplexes Balor and Rollins does the same to Miz, putting all four down until Reigns is in fifth. Miz DDTs Balor and winds up being the only person on his feet, meaning it’s a big circle of YES Kicks. Seth gets sent hard over the top for a crash onto the floor but Roman is back up with a sitout powerbomb for two on Miz. The clock begins and since Elias is left, Strowman is in sixth. Everyone goes after Braun so he suplexes Cena and Rollins (who has a great in pain face) at the same time. Balor is thrown into Reigns and it’s Braun staring Miz down. Miz tries to climb a pod….and STROWMAN GETS UP THERE FIRST!

Braun slams him head first into the Plexiglas and then tosses Miz onto the pile. With everyone else down, Braun stares at Elias, stops to throw Rollins over the top, and then stares at him again. The running powerslam eliminates Miz at 20:00 and we have five people in the Chamber. Elias comes in to complete the field….or at least he’s allowed to but stays in the pod, leaving the other four to pound Braun down.

A QuadrupleBomb with Cena helping Reigns gets two, even with everyone covering. The AA only gets one, the spear gets two, the Curb Stomp sends Strowman to the floor and Balor adds the Coup de Grace. Instead of covering though it’s an AA to Reigns but Rollins jumps Cena. Rollins and Balor crossbody each other so now Elias comes in for some near falls. Elias takes his shot at a few people but an electric chair into a sitout powerbomb only gets two on Reigns. Braun is back up though and Elias tries the electric chair on him. That means a running powerslam and Elias is gone at 26:35.

Rollins saves Reigns from a similar fate and it’s time to go after Strowman again. Cena dives into another powerslam though and we’re down to four at 27:05. Strowman is on his feet while Cena looks scared because HE MIGHT NOT GO TO WRESTLEMANIA! I’M SURE! Balor slips out of the powerslam and hits a pair of shotgun dropkicks to stagger Balor. A Coup de Grace to the back gets two but Rollins hits an enziguri on Balor. Finn is right back with the Pele and 1916 gets two on Seth. Another dropkick puts Reigns in the corner and the Coup de Grace connects but the powerslam gets rid of Balor at 30:24.

Rollins low bridges Braun to the Chamber floor and stomps away with Reigns helping things out. Strowman shrugs them off so Reigns hits a Samoan drop as Rollins goes to the top of the pod. With a look to the Wrestlemania sign, Rollins hits the frog splash for two and everyone is down. Back to back superkicks look to set up the Curb Stomp but instead it’s a fifth powerslam for a fifth elimination at 36:26.

Strowman takes the shirt off and waits on Roman as we hit the GET THESE HANDS chant. Reigns comes at him and sidesteps a charge to send Strowman through a pod (I’ve been waiting for that.). Braun is up so there’s the Superman Punch and the booing commences. Another one puts Strowman on a knee but the spear is blocked. Instead it’s a third Superman Punch and two spears to send Reigns to Wrestlemania at 39:57 to near silence.

Rating: B+. It’s been the same problem for the last year: there is no reason for this to be Reigns other than the script says so. Strowman has been built up for a year now and the fans want to see him. For whatever reason though, WWE would rather try Reigns AGAIN instead of pulling the trigger on what seems to be a big layup. I know Reigns probably has more potential long term, but right now it should be Strowman. We’ve tried Reigns before and it hasn’t quite worked (though it hasn’t failed), but now it should be the logical play.

The match itself was entertaining and I was getting behind Strowman more and more, even if the ending wasn’t exactly a secret. No one else really mattered in the match with Strowman eliminating everyone but Reigns. He looked like a star and should get a huge Wrestlemania match (Cena would be interesting) but the ending took away a lot of the momentum.

Post match Reigns celebrates but Strowman gives him two powerslams.

Overall Rating: C+. Certainly not a bad show but the completely worthless midcard didn’t help things, much like the show, with five matches, SOMEHOW HAVING ANOTHER OVERRUN. Like seriously, it’s 11:20 on a Sunday night. Cut something down or out (four minute intervals would have been a fine idea) but find a way to get these things under control. And in May we go to half an hour longer than this every month? Or will those have an overrun too? Overall though, good show with the main event and Rousey segments being the high points.

Results

Alexa Bliss won the Women’s Elimination Chamber last eliminating Sasha Banks

The Bar b. Titus Worldwide – Assisted White Noise to Apollo

Asuka b. Nia Jax – Hurricanrana

Matt Hardy b. Bray Wyatt – Twist of Fate

Roman Reigns won the Men’s Elimination Chamber last eliminating Braun Strowman

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/01/26/new-book-kbs-history-of-the-wwe-championship-2018-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6