Even More One-Sided Beatdowns
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jim Ross, Michael Cole, Taz, Tony Schiavone, Gordon Solie, Mr. Perfect, Randy Savage, Jerry Lawler, Bobby Heenan

The name here should tell you all you need to know. The WWE Vault had previously released a collection of squash matches and I had a blast with the whole thing. Now we get a sequel, which will be from all over wrestling history. This could be almost anything and that has me interested. Let’s get to it.

From Superstars, March 9, 1996.

Yokozuna vs. Denny Parton/Mark Kyle/Reginald Walker

You might possibly remember Kyle as Killer Kyle in SMW. Parton jumping Yokozuna to start doesn’t go well as he is sent outside and Kyle has the same result. Commentary talks about Yokozuna’s match with Vader at Wrestlemania, which would not wind up happening (well not as a singles match at least). The Banzai Drop hits Kyle and Yokozuna stacks the other two up for one of their own for the double pin at 2:40. This was close to the end for Yokozuna and it showed pretty badly.

From Smackdown, May 12, 2005.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Jimmy Jacobs

Guerrero has a bloody Rey Mysterio mask, which he puts on the ring post. The referee checks Guerrero for weapons and then does the same to Jacobs, with Guerrero using the distraction to jump him. A running elbow drops Jacobs and a belly to back suplex does it again. We pause for Guerrero to stop and yell at the mask, which he then puts on Jacobs’ head and hammers away. Jacobs is sent outside and rammed into the announcers’ table before Guerrero grabs a chair. The brainbuster onto the chair is enough for the DQ at 2:59. Total decimation.

From World Wide Wrestling, April 6, 1991.

Stan Hansen/Sid Vicious vs. David Isley/Keith Hart

We get an insert promo from Sting and Lex Luger, who are ready to go through the tag division and take on anyone. If your option is to face Sid and Hansen, you might want to look into selling furniture. Isley is thrown outside and dropped with a suplex, allowing Hansen to hammer away. Back in and the powerbomb finishes Hart at 2:38. Sid was made for matches like this one.

Post match the beatdown stays on with Isley being put on a stretcher. Sid throws Hart onto Isley, who is then wheeled into the post.

From Superstars, June 1, 1996.

Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Marty Garner

OH BOY it’s this match. Helmsley gets to woo his latest valet to start things off and then easily takes Garner down. We get an insert promo from Helmsley, who doesn’t think much of Jake Roberts. The curtsy lets Garner get in a dropkick to the back but a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker cuts him off. Helmsley slaps him around a bit and hits the jumping knee to the face. The Pedigree is loaded up and Helmsley SPIKES HIM ON HIS HEAD, with Garner taking it like a piledriver instead of like a faceplant. Either way, what’s left of Garner is pinned at 3:11.

Rating: C. Nothing to the match of course but this was ALL about the Pedigree, which is a clip that has made the rounds ever since. It was simply a case of Garner not taking the move properly and thankfully he didn’t break his neck in the process. If nothing else, it made the Pedigree look like a killer and that’s great.

From Monday Nitro, February 5, 2001.

Scott Steiner vs. Jung Dragons/Noble And Karagias

Steiner wastes no time in starting to slug away and drops the elbow on Noble. The pushups take too long though as Karagias springboards in with a moonsault and a pair of top rope splashes connect. A four way cover gets two but Steiner is back up with a double clothesline. An overhead belly to belly drops Noble and Yang gets crotched on top. Hayashi is tossed outside and Noble is thrown onto him. There goes Karagias as well and a t-bone superplex drops Yang. Steiner won’t let the referee count three though, instead suplexing Noble and Karagias. A triple Steiner Recliner finishes for Steiner at 3:03.

Rating: C+. When Scott Steiner gets going, it’s just fun to see him smashing through people. That’s exactly what we got here, even if it took a bit before Steiner got going. He was the huge monster heel at this point and it could have gone somewhere had the company not been dying around him.

From World Championship Wrestling, likely in 1986.

Animal vs. ???/???

Animal runs through them and clothesline them both for the double pin at 35 seconds. That worked.

From Superstars, August 21, 1993.

Quebecers vs. Dan Dubiel/Scott Despres

Jacques jumps them to start and gives Dubiel a package piledriver. Pierre is backdropped onto Dubiel and an Alabama Slam into the Boston crab lets Pierre drop a middle rope Fameasser (Savage: “I have just retired from wrestling!”) and Despres makes the save. Savage thinks that should dissolve the partnership and it’s Le Bombe de Rougeau to Despres. The Cannonball finishes a rather entertaining squash at 2:15.

From World Championship Wrestling, June 17, 1989.

Samoan Swat Team vs. Rock Hard Rick/Mike Awesome

Well there’s a surprise, with Awesome (in Hulk Hogan red kneepads and yellow trunks) getting knocked to the floor to start. Rick gets planted with a Hart Attack and a spinning faceplant. A scary backdrop plants Rick and it’s off to Awesome, who gets knocked into the corner. Samu hits a belly to back superplex and Fatu’s top rope splash (so that’s where Awesome got it) finishes at 2:14. This was 100% on there because of Awesome, but dang I can go for some Headshrinkers dominance.

From WCW Saturday Night, May 14, 1994.

Rick Rude vs. Mark Starr

Starr catches a boot to the ribs to start and gets thrown down by the head a few times. Some hard clotheslines drop Starr again and Rude hammers away. One heck of a piledriver plants Starr again as Rude calls out Vader. Some hard jabs and a belly to belly suplex get two and we hit the bearhug. Rude gets tired of that and finishes with the Rude Awakening at 3:34.

Rating: C+. Rude screaming for Vader was good stuff, but at the same time it’s very sad to see, because by the time this aired, Rude had already suffered the back injury that ended his full time career. He would go on to win the International Title but have to vacate the belt as a result of his injury. Rude as the big heavy hitter was working though and the look on his face made him feel all the more intense.

From Superstars, December 3, 1994.

Jim Neidhart vs. Jeff Harvey

Yes Harvey, and yes that is better known as Jeff HARDY. MIKE ADAMLE WAS RIGHT ALL ALONG!!! Neidhart isn’t having any of this running the ropes thing and tosses Harvey over the top. A big backdrop drops Harvey on his back and a camel clutch finishes him off at 2:04. I knew it was going to be someone big facing Neidhart and they didn’t disappoint with a 17 year old Hardy. Er Harvey.

Overall Rating: B-. Yeah I had another good time with this, as it was nothing but big stars smashing through people, just as described. There is something fun about seeing this rather than a much bigger star needing ten minutes to beat someone not on their level. Fun stuff here, with some of the squashed being nothing short of devastation, which is often the most entertaining thing you’ll see in wrestling.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania XXI
Date: April 3, 2005
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 20,193
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the big one as things have to change at some point in WWE. I’m curious to see how this show goes as I haven’t seen the television leading up to it since the show aired so maybe the show will feel a little bit different. The theme is Wrestlemania Goes Hollywood, which has included some outstanding movie parody trailers. Oh and Batista and John Cena look more than ready to become the top stars in the company. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Battle Royal

Tajiri, William Regal, Rhino, Hurricane, Rosey, Maven, Simon Dean, Gene Snitsky, Chris Masters, Val Venis, Tyson Tomko, Sylvain Grenier, Rob Conway, Viscera, Hardcore Holly, Charlie Haas, Nunzio, Billy Kidman, Mark Jindrak, Funaki, Akio, Orlando Jordan, Doug Basham, Danny Basham, Heidenreich, Luther Reigns, Booker T.. Paul London, Spike Dudley, Scotty 2 Hotty

This is your “get them all on the show” match, which was likely just the DVD extra. They’re all in their show colored shirts with Eric Bischoff and Theodore Long at ringside. Before the bell, Hurricane gives Heidenreich his own mask so Heidenreich punches him in the face. Must be a villain. The fighting starts with Spike being sent to the steps as Hurricane makes the mistake of hammering away in the corner, making him the first elimination.

Reigns is out next as the ring is still very full. A bunch of the cruiserweights hold Viscera down so Scotty can hit the Worm. That high level of missing the point could explain why they don’t get on television very often. Masters doesn’t like that line of thinking and dumps Scotty, Funaki, Spike and Kidman in a hurry. Haas is tossed as well as the ring is clearing out a bit.

Masters dumps Nunzio, though it might not have been over the top. With nothing else to do, Heidenreich destroys a turnbuckle and tears off his mask before clotheslining the heck out of Venis for an elimination. Dean and Grenier are out as well, followed by Rosey, all at Heidenreich’s hands. Rhyno is out next and it’s Dupree following him in a hurry. Both Bashams go out as the fans are behind Regal.

With about twelve people left, we get the always natural looking Raw vs. Smackdown showdown with Akio and Holly being tossed, followed by Regal to even things up a bit. Tajiri mists Heidenreich so the blind monster gets rid of London. Heidenreich and Tajiri fight on the apron until Snitsky gets rid of them, leaving us with Jindrak, Booker, Masters, Snitsky and Viscera.

Jindrak gets rid of Snitsky and hits the big left on Viscera….which staggers Jindrak so much that Masters can get rid of him. Nunzio does the “I’M STILL IN” deal, only to be tossed seconds later. Viscera crushes Booker in the corner but he’s fine enough to low bridge the monster to the floor. The full nelson is broken up and a superkick gives Booker the win.

Rating: D+. It’s kind of hard to get too annoyed at a match like this as the whole point is getting people on the show and therefore onto the DVD, which is a nice bonus for the talent. I know this isn’t the most important match but it came and went fast enough and wasn’t terrible. Assuming you can ignore the RAH RAH RAH Raw vs. Smackdown aspect, it’s nothing too bad.

Lilian Garcia sings America the Beautiful. She’ll have a job in WWE as long as she wants one for how good she can make that sound.

The Titantron is revealed with the red curtain coming up. They’re nailing the theme this year.

We get a montage of the trailers, leading to the big reveal of the final trailer: Gladiator, featuring Steve Austin as Maximus. It’s a cool idea and suitable casting but there were better trailers.

It’s strange to see Wrestlemania in an arena. That’s one of those things you’ll probably never see again.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio

Not a bad way to start and the red carpet in the aisle makes it even better. They’re the Smackdown Tag Team Champions but Eddie isn’t sure if he can beat Rey. There’s no superhero outfit this year as Rey has Mexican/American flag inspired gear. Rey flips out of an armbar to start and hits a running knee but has to adjust the mask. A second armbar works a bit better for Eddie and but Rey pops up and climbs onto Eddie’s shoulders.

The sunset flip is countered into a catapult to the floor but Rey switches places and teases a dive to take us to an early standoff. Eddie takes him down into a keylock to stay on the arm before sending Rey outside. Since he’s a luchador as well, Eddie busts out his own dive to the floor, with the fans rather pleased with him. Rey adjust his mask again, as he isn’t wearing the regular kind and the clasp is different, causing a lot of issues.

Back in and Eddie stays on the arm (instead of the leg because Eddie is smart, since working on Mysterio’s leg hasn’t worked well for most people) before switching over to a surfboard. That’s broken up so Rey armdrags him to the floor, meaning the big corkscrew flip dive can take Eddie down. A backbreaker gives Eddie two though as Rey can’t keep the momentum going. Rey gets back up and tries the 619 but walks into another backbreaker for two, allowing Rey to fix the mask again.

Three Amigos connect, with Rey holding his mask the whole time. The extra vision lets Rey avoid the frog splash and now the 619 connects. The West Cost Pop is countered into a hard powerbomb for two as they go back to the back. Eddie tries another powerbomb but this time Rey reverses into a hurricanrana for the pin and one final mask adjustment.

Rating: B-. I don’t know how much the mask stuff messed with Rey but it seemed to be causing at least a bit of a problem. He had to mess with that thing probably a dozen times in a twelve minute match and it was becoming really noticeable. The idea here is to continue Eddie’s descent into jealousy over not being able to beat Mysterio and that could be a heck of a story.

JBL and the Cabinet meets Evolution. HHH says Ric Flair is the wrestling god and maybe one day someone will believe that JBL is that good. A staredown over belt importance and a WOO to Orlando Jordan ends a terrifying prospect. Somehow, JBL and HHH only had one singles match ever against each other and it was on a random Raw in 2008. You would think they would have met at least a handful of times.

Adam Sandler and Rob Schneider are here.

Edge vs. Christian vs. Chris Jericho vs. Kane vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Chris Benoit

Money in the Bank with Tyson Tomko out with Kane. Kane gets a cool entrance where the ladders on the set are on fire. Almost everyone goes after Kane in the aisle and a variety of double teams take him down. Christian tries to use the melee to bring in a ladder but Jericho slams it into his face. A springboard dropkick sends Edge into Benoit to knock them both off the apron, followed by Jericho’s dive onto Edge.

Shelton hits the big running flip dive onto a bunch of people, with Kane adding the top rope clothesline to take down the same pile plus Benjamin for the wipe out. Back in and Jericho dropkicks a ladder into Kane but Benoit German suplexes Jericho, sending the ladder flying in a cool shot. Benoit’s climb is cut off so he Crossfaces Kane and then Edge, the latter of which allows Kane to hit Benoit with the ladder.

To make it worse, Kane crushes Benoit’s arm in the ladder over and over. Edge spears Kane down and it’s the big reunion with Christian, who grabs his own ladder to smash Kane at the same time. Now it’s Shelton coming in to send Christian outside and flapjack Edge into the ladder. Shelton and Jericho fight on top of the ladder until two more ladders are brought in (Lawler: “It’s like open house at Home Depot!”), meaning it’s everyone but Kane on top at the same time.

Benoit, Jericho and Christian are knocked down, leaving Shelton to hit the exploder on Edge off the ladder for the huge crash. Jericho is left to go up but Shelton runs up a second ladder to clothesline Jericho off because he can do something like that. Christian knocks Shelton off the ladder as Kane returns from the short term death that afflicts wrestlers in ladder matches. Tomko comes in and kicks Kane in the face before helping Christian to the top in a bit of a call back to TLC II.

Kane is back up though and shoves the ladder over, sending Christian down to the floor and onto Tomko. Jericho and Kane knock each other off the ladder and everyone is down as we need a breather. With Kane down, Benoit (bleeding from the head) hits the Swan Dive off the ladder. Benoit goes up but has to headbutt Kane off but the arm is too banged up to get the briefcase. Edge blasts Benoit in the arm with a chair though and that’s enough to pull down the briefcase for the win.

Rating: A-. Yeah this was great with more time for drama and fewer instances of having the people laying around forever because there are too many people in the match at the same time. Edge winning is the best call as no one has been chasing the title like him and now he can steal the title down the line. It’s a heck of a fight though with a bunch of awesome spots and stuff that kept the fans interested without many dead spots. Great stuff and an awesome way to debut the concept.

Here’s the still injured Eugene, whose music doesn’t start until halfway down the aisle. This is his second favorite Wrestlemania moment every, after the midget army getting together to fight off King Kong Bundy at Wrestlemania III (Hillbilly Jim was included as well, and he spent a good hour talking about it during his Hall of Fame speech). Cue Daivari and Muhammad Hassan to complain about not being on the show (that they’re on) and rant about the prejudice in Los Angeles.

Hassan is ready to make his own Wrestlemania moment and jumps Eugene, setting up the camel clutch. Cue Hulk Hogan or the REAL AMERICAN save, including a double noggin knocker. Hassan gets sent outside so Daivari can hit Hogan with a chair. Since that doesn’t work, it’s a big boot and another toss to the floor so the posing can commence. Hogan even gets to do the big pose in front of the huge American flag on the stage. Yeah it’s old hat but I’ll always be a Hulkamaniac so this made me smile.

We recap Randy Orton vs. Undertaker. Orton won the World Title last fall but lost it in a hurry and has been on a slow downward spiral since. He needs to get back on track so he’s going after Undertaker and the Streak while turning heel in the process. Orton’s dad Bob is helping him a bit, because Orton has slid far enough that he needs that kind of help.

Randy Orton vs. Undertaker

The druids with the torches are here so you know it’s serious. Undertaker glides to the ring for a pretty cool entrance, which goes much faster than usual for a bonus. Orton comes out second for some reason, albeit with his own cool entrance of pyro raining down behind him as he poses with the still awesome Burn In My Light playing. After some early dodging, the first right hand gets Orton launched into the corner.

The dropkick out of the corner gets two and Orton backdrops him for a bump you don’t see from Undertaker that often. The early RKO attempt is shoved over the top as Undertaker is starting a bit slowly here. Old School connects but Orton is back up with a dropkick to the floor to take over. Undertaker’s running DDT gets two and Snake Eyes connects. The ensuing big boot is cut off with a running elbow though, sending the fans straight into a LET’S GO UNDERTAKER/RANDY SUCKS chant.

The slugout goes to Undertaker and we hit the dragon sleeper as Undertaker busts out some different stuff for a change. Orton breaks out and grabs a sleeper, which doesn’t please the crowd. The counter before Orton can take him to the ground is more appealing but Orton is back with a powerslam.

For some reason, Orton hammers away in the corner, meaning he has to escape the Last Ride. The referee gets bumped though and here’s Bob with a cast shot to Undertaker’s head for the close two. Undertaker boots Bob off the apron and grabs the chokeslam, which is reversed into the RKO in midair (one of my favorite counters ever) for two and a big sigh of relief from the fans. For reasons of general cockiness, Orton tries his own Tombstone, which is reversed into the real thing to make Undertaker 13-0.

Rating: B-. It’s a good match but it never came close to that higher level. It would take a little longer for Undertaker to get that much better at Wrestlemania so for now it’s just a good one. Orton was trying here and looked better than he has in a long time, though aside from that one RKO, he never felt like a real threat here. Still though, one hot near fall is better than none and it wasn’t bad by any stretch.

We recap Trish Stratus vs. Christy Hemme. It’s the annual Playboy match as we’re now supposed to believe that Christy can wrestle and isn’t just there because of her looks. Lita has been training Christy and is more interesting than anything Christy has been doing. Keep in mind that Christy isn’t at fault here. She isn’t a wrestler and is being thrown into a match because she won a modeling contest. That’s on WWE, not Christy.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Christy Hemme

Trish is defending and Christy has Lita with her. The bell rings and Trish drops to the mat but kicks Christy away in a rather heelish move. They head outside with Trish sending her into the steps, followed by some chops in the corner back inside. The Chick Kick misses and Christy hits one of her own as the fans are just gone for this.

Christy does the splits on top to set up a sunset flip for two, only to have Trish spear her down. We get the BORING chants as Trish stops to yell at Lita, allowing Christy to start in with the kicks. The reverse Twist of Fate and a rollup give Christy two each but Trish has had it. That means the Chick Kick to retain the title and end Christy’s wrestling run.

Rating: D-. Yeah what else were you expecting? Trish was wrestling herself here as Christy was only good for some tumbling and that Twist of Fate. The women’s division is all but dead at this point and it’s likely going to be a long time before things get better. Christy was trying here but had no business in this spot.

We recap Kurt Angle vs. Shawn Michaels. Angle was annoyed that Shawn eliminated him from the Royal Rumble and beat him up, setting off the big feud. Kurt is annoyed that people were talking about Shawn in 1996 when Angle was an Olympic champion. Now Angle wants to prove that he is the better man on the biggest stage. Shawn is down with that because he’s Shawn Michaels and it’s Wrestlemania. This is more or less WWE saying “yeah it’s going to be a classic and everyone knows it.”

Various celebrities are here.

Kurt Angle vs. Shawn Michaels

They stare at each other both before and after the bell until Shawn slaps him in the face. That makes Angle take him to the mat and Shawn is completely outclassed there. A headlock takeover works a bit better for Shawn as the fans are behind Angle for a bit of a surprise. The headlock stays on for a good while as they probably have a lot of time here. Shawn switches over to a short armscissors, allowing Angle to power out ala Bob Backlund (his old mentor).

Shawn is right back with the headlock but this time Angle powers up and takes him into the corner. The ankle lock is quickly broken up and it’s Shawn with a Cactus Clothesline to put them both on the floor. The announcers’ table is loaded up but Angle hits an Angle Slam into the post to take something out of Shawn. A suplex gives Angle two and it’s off to the bodyscissors to stay on the ribs/back.

The belly to belly gets two and it’s a reverse chinlock with a knee in Shawn’s back. Angle’s belly to belly superplex is broken up but Shawn misses the top rope elbow. Shawn is fine enough to backdrop Angle to the floor and he’s crazy enough to hit a high crossbody to the floor with the knee possibly hitting Angle in the face. Angle gets back up and teases the German suplex off the apron to make the fans a little nervous.

A low blow gets Shawn out of trouble and that means the springboard spinning splash onto Angle onto the announcers’ table for less of a pop than you might have expected, mainly because the table doesn’t break. They head back in for the slugout into Shawn’s forearm and nipup so things can pick up again. Sweet Chin Music (way too early) is countered into the ankle lock, setting up the big crawl to the rope. Angle gets it again but this time Shawn reverses into a rollup for two.

Another Sweet Chin Music attempt is countered into the Angle Slam for two as frustration is setting in. In another awesome moment, Angle pulls his straps up so he can pull them right back down again because you know it’s serious. The moonsault misses though (probably spent too much time with the straps) so Shawn goes up, only to get caught in the super Angle Slam for two, meaning Angle looks ready to cry at the kickout.

Angle talks a bunch of trash so Shawn snaps off Sweet Chin Music to shut him up. That gets a very delayed two and they both need a breather. Angle picks the ankle into the ankle lock as he’s right back up but this time Shawn can’t kick away. Shawn fights everywhere but finally gets pulled down into the grapevine for the tap (after a nearly goofy amount of time).

Rating: A+. Yeah what else do you want here? They told an outstanding story with Shawn going with the natural talent but Angle just wanting it that much more and turning up the intensity to a level Shawn couldn’t reach. It made Shawn look like he couldn’t beat Angle on his best night, all while putting in an instant classic. These two went back and forth with one big spot after another and Angle took away a lot of Shawn’s strength by working on the back. Check this one out if you haven’t in a while as it’s worth seeing again.

Fabulous Moolah and Mae Young are here.

It’s time for Piper’s Pit (and I think there was an edit in there as the set was put together in the blink of an eye). Piper thanks the fans for the Hall of Fame but wants to get down to business. He wanted the meanest and baddest man in WWE so his guest is Steve Austin. Cue Austin (with a glass breaking transition as we cut to the stage), with JR saying that he’s back at Wrestlemania. He hasn’t missed one since 2000 so that’s not the biggest accomplishment. Piper asks if Austin is the rebel and slaps him in the face so Austin calls him an SOB and returns the slap. Piper: “I kind of like you.”

With that out of the way, Piper talks about respecting Austin but gets cut off by the WHAT chants, which he doesn’t seem to understand. Piper takes issue with one thing: he was ticking Vince McMahon off when Wrestlemania didn’t even have a number. Austin and James Dean have nothing on Piper when it comes to being a rebel. Austin runs down Piper’s appearance and they get in each other’s faces, allowing Piper to quote Cool Hand Luke about a failure of communication.

Cue Carlito, with Piper and Austin accusing each other of bringing him out. Piper: “I’ll get back to you.” Carlito accuses both of them of arguing like girls, before declaring them both non-cool. Piper: “Who the h*** are you? You look like Alfalfa.” Carlito wants the two of them out of here and loads up the apple but Piper takes it away.

It’s Carlito taking the spit this time so Carlito hits him in the face as Austin laughs. Bored of that, Austin beats Carlito up and Piper sends him outside. Beer is consumed until Austin Stuns Piper. This completely missed as Piper and Austin didn’t have anything to say to each other. Carlito getting to be out there was a nice few moments for him but this was all about the legends, who didn’t need to be there.

It’s immediately time for the sumo match with a much harder cut to Cole and Tazz. They had to edit something out of there and we get a VERY long crowd shot during the next entrance. That was probably to remove the ropes, but it still felt like something was cut.

Upon further review, they aired the You Talking To Me trailer here and announced it as winning the Best Overall Trailer award. They’ve aired that on Raw and Smackdown, so why cut it here?

Akebono vs. Big Show

They do the full traditional opening as the fans are really not interested in this one. We finally get going, they slap each other, pull at the gear a bit, Show lifts Akebono and spins him around, and then Akebono wins. This didn’t work again as it came and went as it just wasn’t the right thing for a show like Wrestlemania. Akebono never wrestled for WWE again and I don’t know if he ever appeared again so I’m not sure what the thinking was here.

We recap John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield for the Smackdown World Title. It’s built around a culture clash with JBL being the old, rich traditionalist while Cena lives by his own rules and cares about the people. Cena won a tournament to get the shot so JBL talked about how people like Cena didn’t deserve to be champion. He couldn’t get Cena to go too far though and Cena is ready to explode here.

Smackdown World Title: John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

JBL is defending and gets a police escort into the arena. Just to show off, we get a shower of JBL dollars, which are always a nice touch. They trade shoulders to start with JBL getting the better of it (the big boot out of the corner probably helped a bit). A suplex gives JBL two and he chokes Cena on the ropes for a bit. Back up and Cena is fine with getting into a slugout but JBL catches him with a Ron Simmons style spinebuster. A neckbreaker and some clotheslines stay on Cena’s neck, followed by a sleeper to do something similar enough.

Cena slips out and it’s a double clothesline to keep up the slow pace. JBL sends him outside for another neckbreaker before going up top for some reason. That earns him a slam out of the air but Cena can’t follow up. Cena starts his comeback but the fans aren’t quite thrilled. The Shuffle gets some energy flowing and after ducking the Clothesline From JBL, the FU gives Cena his first World Title out of nowhere.

Rating: D. Very bleh match here as there was no drama and the match just ended out of nowhere with Cena shrugging off the first ten minutes and winning with very little drama. I know the match itself doesn’t matter that much but Cena wasn’t ready to carry something like this and JBL was never capable of carrying something like this, leaving us with a very underwhelming match.

That’s also the end of JBL’s long title reign and really, it was a lot better than I remember. JBL can talk very well and while his matches weren’t great, it didn’t come close to dragging as a lot of people (myself included) remember. Maybe it was knowing when it was going to end but I didn’t mind this nearly as much as I expected to. JBL winning the title in the first place was a big stretch but he held it a lot better than I would have guessed.

Hall of Fame video. Hogan and Piper were long overdue. Heenan on Iron Sheik’s speech: “WHAT THE H*** DID HE SAY???”

Gene Okerlund brings out the year’s class:

Nikolai Volkoff (sure why not)

Iron Sheik (just don’t let him talk….or maybe let him talk….it could go either way)

Paul Orndorff (belongs in for 1986 alone and is smart enough to point at Miss Jackie)

Bob Orton (always good for a solid performance and still selling the injury from earlier)

Jimmy Hart (yep, and comes off as one of the nicest guys ever in wrestling)

Roddy Piper (would have headlined almost any other class)

Hulk Hogan (odds are we’re not here without him)

We recap the Raw World Title match. HHH has dominated the World Title scene for a long time and has used Evolution to help him hold onto the title. Batista has proven to be unstoppable and then won the Royal Rumble. HHH tried to talk him into going to Smackdown but Batista overheard the evil planning, sending Batista onto a path towards Wrestlemania and the title. This isn’t the hardest result to figure out and the fans are begging to see Batista take the title away from HHH for good.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Batista

HHH is defending and has Ric Flair with him, plus Motorhead plays him to the ring, just in case you thought Batista was cooler. I mean, you can barely understand the words because Lemmy butchers it in a great Brutus Beefcake impression but HHH rising up through the stage makes up for it a bit. Batista doesn’t get much of a pop, mainly due to the lack of the famous band performing his music.

The early power lockup lets them drive each other to the ropes but it’s only good for a standoff. They do it again with HHH’s running shoulder having no effect other than waking HHH up a bit. Another shoulder drops Batista but he’s right back up with something close to a powerslam. Batista hits a backdrop, only to have HHH knock him outside to cut the momentum off again.

Flair’s distraction lets HHH send Batista into the steps and Flair gets in some choking with the jacket. Back in and HHH gets two off a suplex, setting up more Flair choking. Whatever emotion the fans had for Batista after that HHH entrance is long gone now as HHH has beaten him down for about seven of the eight minutes the match has been going so far. Batista slugs away but walks into the spinebuster, because of course HHH needs to hit a spinebuster as he dominates Batista in the biggest match of Batista’s career.

A backdrop breaks up the Pedigree attempt but HHH is RIGHT BACK with the facebuster, leaving him on defense for all of three seconds. HHH goes up and gets clotheslined out of the air to no reaction as the fans are gone. They’re smart enough to realize that HHH is going to cut Batista off again and, as expected, Batista charges into a big boot in the corner just a few seconds later. Batista sends HHH over the corner, only to have HHH whip him into the steps.

The Pedigree onto the steps is countered into a catapult into the post and we’ve got some blood. Back in and it’s time to hammer on the cut as the fans finally have something to cheer about. The big running clothesline in the corner rocks HHH and a powerslam gets two as there isn’t quite the energy in the offense that you would expect. It feels like they’re just doing stuff to fill time until the ending instead of of building something up.

Batista sends him outside but goes after Flair, allowing HHH to grab the chair, which hits the referee by mistake. Flair’s belt shot is countered with a spinebuster but HHH’s belt shot gets two. The fans react to the kickout and Batista hits the spinebuster for the big reaction. That’s too much cheering for HHH’s liking so he hits Batista low. Batista blocks the Pedigree with raw power though and hits something like White Noise. The Batista Bomb finally makes Batista champion.

Rating: C. It was miles better than Cena vs. JBL but egads this didn’t do Batista any favors. This was more about giving HHH a big sendoff as champion than making Batista look like a star and….I can’t say I’m surprised. Batista has looked so dominant and smart for the last six weeks that HHH probably couldn’t help himself from cutting him off. HHH did put him over, but it could have been a lot stronger without HHH beating him up and outsmarting him for the first half of the match. Much like the previous match though, it’s all about what comes next rather than what happened here, but HHH made sure to make himself look good.

The big celebration and highlight package wrap things up.

Overall Rating: B. Much like last year, this really needed forty five minutes to an hour trimmed off (and again it’s easy to see what should be gone) to make it great. As it is it’s quite good but there are a lot of times where it felt like it was dragging. The two World Title matches were outclassed by Money in the Bank and Shawn vs. Angle (not exactly shocking on either front) but they got the endings right and aside from the sumo match and Piper’s Pit (which wasn’t that long), only the very short women’s match is bad (and that has various other positives).

What we got here was a strong Wrestlemania, but it needed some time trimmed off to really make it great. That being said, this is still far better than the five hour monstrosities we get now. It’s a completely watchable, at times great and very important show though, meaning it feels like Wrestlemania. The streak of good Wrestlemanias continues, though the show getting longer isn’t the most encouraging sign. Check out the ladder match and Shawn vs. Angle if you have the time though as they’re worth a second look (or nineteenth look in some cases).

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Elimination Chamber 2018
Date: February 25, 2018
Location: T-Mobile Arena, Paradise, Nevada
Attendance: 15,126
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Jonathan Coachman

We’re on the way to Wrestlemania XXXIV and that means we need to crown Roman Reigns as the #1 contender all over again. Brock Lesnar is waiting for the winner at Wrestlemania and you know how much WWE loves that match. Other than that, the Raw Women’s Title is also on the line in the Elimination Chamber. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Gallows And Anderson vs. Miztourage

For those of you who have forgotten, that would be Curtis Axel/Bo Dallas. Axel grabs a headlock and then a front facelock on Anderson to start. Some right hands keep Anderson in trouble so it’s off to Gallows, who dubs Axel a nerd and hammers away. It’s back to Anderson, who gets punched by Dallas a few times to take over again. Anderson gets in his HI YAH kick but misses a blind tag, meaning he gets shoved off the top as we take a break.

Back with Anderson still in trouble with the Tourage taking turns pounding away in the corner. A belly to back suplex gets Anderson out of trouble though and it’s…not enough to bring Gallows back in. The running boot to the face is though, with Gallows getting to clean house. It’s already back to Anderson, who gets taken down, but manages to send Dallas into the ropes to crotch Axel on top. The Magic Killer finishes Axel at 8:50.

Rating: C. It was a total run of the mill match, but this is what I want in a Kickoff Show match. They got in, had one match, and then got out before they overstayed their welcome. Yeah it could have been on any given house show, but that also means you’re just kind of warming the fans up rather than giving them some big match. Perfectly fine match, though it does show why the tag division isn’t exactly memorable around this time.

The opening video looks at this show being one of the last major stops on the way to Wrestlemania, with the winners getting a guaranteed spot on the show. Normally I would mock the idea of wrestlers having no path to Wrestlemania, but that was exactly what they would wind up doing with John Cena this year.

We recap the Women’s Elimination Chamber, which was announced by Stephanie McMahon (of course) as the next big thing the women are getting to do for the first time. There is also tension between Bayley and Sasha Banks, who are both in the match anyway. Mandy Rose and Sonya Deville are friends too, but they’re on a bit better page.

Raw Women’s Title: Women’s Elimination Chamber

Alexa Bliss is defending and this is the first ever women’s edition of the match. Sonya Deville is in at #1 and Bayley is in at #2 to get things going with five minute intervals. Deville wrestles her to the mat without much trouble to start as Bayley isn’t quite on that level. Bayley gets smart by sending her into the buckles instead, even throwing in a glare at Bliss.

Deville gets in a shot of her own though and catapults Bayley into the Chamber wall, which Bayley manages to grab in a cool counter. Back in and Bayley misses an elbow and things get to reset a little bit. Bayley knocks her onto the floor for the big elbow and two before grabbing the chinlock.

Mandy Rose is in at #3 so Bayley goes after her, even managing to knock Deville back as well. The numbers game starts to get the better of Bayley though and Deville spears her down before a double ram into the wall gets two. Rose drops her for two more and Deville has to yell at the referee. Bayley gets sent into the cage again and it’s Sasha Banks in at #4 to give us something of a tag match.

Banks starts fast by sending Rose into the pod over and over but Deville is back up. Deville drops Banks for two and is the only one left standing as Bliss is looking nervous in her pod. Bayley and Banks are back up to send Deville into various hard things but Rose drops Banks to even things up again. A faceplant drops Banks but for some reason Rose doesn’t cover, allowing Banks to pull her into the Bank Statement for the elimination at 13:53.

Mickie James is in at #5 and cleans house, including a double clothesline to Bayley and Banks. Bayley gets dropped with a neckbreaker and then flapjacks Banks into a nipup. A hurricanrana takes Deville down on the outside and a heck of a kick to the face drops Banks. For some reason James climbs the cage and, after kicking Bayley down, hits a super Thesz press from the top of the pod to pin Deville at 17:34.

Banks is right back up with a Backstabber into the Bayley To Belly to plant James though and we’re down to three at 17:59. Bliss panics in her pod as Bayley and Banks are fine with sitting around waiting for Bliss to come in. Bliss is in at #6 to complete the field so she tries to hide in the pod, then climbs up the Chamber wall. The other two go after her and all three wind up on top of a pod…where Banks kicks Bayley down (and the fans approve). Bliss tries to beg off from Banks, who is jumped by Bayley, allowing Bliss to jump Bayley for a change.

Bayley fights up with a suplex but gets tackled into the corner by Banks in short order. Banks gets tied in the Tree Of Woe so Bayley can stomp away, only to get superplexed by Bliss. A frog splash to Bayley gives Banks two and everyone is down again. Back up and Banks sends Bayley into the buckle but takes too long, allowing Bayley to hit a super Bayley To Belly as there are way too many B’s in this match. Bliss (See what I mean?) takes care of that by rolling Bayley up for the elimination at 25:32 and we’re down to two.

Bliss takes her time getting up and Twisted Bliss hits raised knees. Banks misses a running boot though and gets her leg caught in the wall, allowing Bliss to take her down again. That’s not enough for Bliss, who goes up for Twisted Bliss from the top of the pod to the floor. The falls only count inside though and Banks is able to get a quick Bank Statement. That’s broken up so Banks starts to climb, only to be sent into the pod. A top rope hanging DDT retains Bliss’ title at 29:37.

Rating: B-. It took some time to get going but the three two person teams (James and Bliss were close enough) were a nice way to tie things together. Bliss surviving over both Banks and Bayley is believable with the two of them fighting, but she felt like she escaped rather than surviving. It’s good enough, even if it never quite got into that next level. For a first edition though, it worked.

Post match Bliss can’t believe she won and says the win means everything to her. She says this is about every girl and woman in the audience who ever dreamed big. This proves you can be whatever you want to be so dare to dream and dream big. She’s looking out at the people and the reality is…none of them will ever accomplish their dreams. Tonight, she proved that no one is better than her and she just won, despite no one believing in her. Bliss was laying it on thick and it felt like the turn was coming, though it still worked.

Braun Strowman is waiting to get inside the Chamber. Oh geez I had forgotten about the “wrestlers use their own phones for promos” period.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Titus Worldwide vs. The Bar

Titus Worldwide (Titus O’Neil and Apollo (hold the Crews) with Dana Brooke) is challenging after beating the Bar in a non-title match. The Bar jumps them before the bell but get clotheslined for their efforts. Apollo hits a big dive to the floor (thankfully not injuring himself on Sheamus’ mohawk as he’s in his Taxi Driver phase) and the match officially starts. Cesaro seems to be favoring his leg as Apollo hits a top rope splash for two. Back up and Apollo gets sent outside and we settle down a bit.

Cesaro grabs the chinlock before handing it back to Sheamus for an armbar. That’s broken up so Cesaro grabs a front facelock, which is broken up as well. Sheamus is right there to cut off the tag again though and the armbar goes on again (he’s nothing if not consistent). Cesaro grabs another chinlock, which is broken up, but Sheamus is right there to break up another tag attempt.

Sheamus cheap shots O’Neil off the apron but misses a charge into the post, allowing the diving tag off to O’Neil. Some big boots give O’Neil two but Cesaro leapfrogs him for a blind tag to Sheamus. That doesn’t work either as O’Neil pulls Sheamus out of the air for Clash Of The Titus. Apollo hits a dive onto the champs and a high crossbody gets two on Sheamus. Cesaro takes out Apollo’s knee though and it’s a White Noise/springboard spinning uppercut combination to retain the titles at 10:04.

Rating: C. This was little more than an extended Raw match as Titus Worldwide didn’t feel like the most serious challengers. They were a fun enough team, but that’s not enough to beat the rather serious Bar. The match was fine, but I’m not sure how much drama there was about a title change.

We recap Asuka vs. Nia Jax. Asuka is going to Wrestlemania after winning the Royal Rumble but Jax is going after her. If Jax wins, she’s added to the Wrestlemania title match.

Jax crushes an Asuka match in the back.

We look at Asuka’s undefeated streak, which is now in danger. This gets a rather good deal of time, breaking down the streak in a Rumble By The Numbers style.

Nia Jax vs. Asuka

There is still something creepy about Asuka’s match showing up on the Titantron at the start of her entrance. Asuka starts fast with a dropkick but gets dropped with a single headbutt. As tends to be her custom, Asuka is right back up to go after her again, only to be knocked down again. A knee to the back cuts Asuka down again and a backbreaker has her in more trouble. The running elbow gets a delayed two and Jax shrugs off a kneebar attempt. Asuka comes back with a quick guillotine, which is muscled up into a Jackhammer for another power counter.

Back up and Asuka fires off some kicks, only to get countered into the Samoan drop as this is one sided so far. The big legdrop misses though and a sliding kick gives Asuka two. Some more strikes put Jax on her knee, where she screams, only to be shut up by a running kick to the face. Jax catches her on top but Asuka grabs a sunset bomb for a huge crash. A missed charge sends Jax’s shoulder into the post and we hit the cross armbreaker. That’s broken up with a powerbomb into the corner as the fans are getting more into this. Jax picks her up for a powerbomb but Asuka reverses into a victory roll for the pin at 8:11.

Rating: B-. This was a good example of telling a story in a match as Asuka wasn’t getting anywhere with her usual stuff. She was up against a different kind of opponent and had to find openings where she could to win. I liked the match a lot more than I was expecting to and that’s always nice to see.

Post match Jax beats up Asuka again, including a spear through the barricade.

Alexa Bliss is happy with what just happened to Asuka. No one is ready for Alexa.

Asuka is helped out. It feels like there is a lot of time filler on this show.

Roman Reigns (mixed reaction) is asked about some recent comments. Reigns: “Do I look like the kind of guy who cares what Paul Heyman has to say?” He’s not worried about Brock Lesnar, but tonight he’s winning the Elimination Chamber and going to Wrestlemania to take Lesnar out.

We recap Bray Wyatt vs. Matt Hardy. Wyatt beat Hardy, who became Broken/Woken and started talking about various weird things, as they both tended to do. This gives us creepy Wyatt vs. Broken Matt, which is as odd as you can get.

Bray Wyatt vs. Matt Hardy

Hardy makes his entrance, then the lights go out and Wyatt appears in the ring…but only Hardy’s robe is left. We get a Hardy voiceover promising to make Wyatt obsolete, with Hardy singing some of Jeff Hardy’s Obsolete song. Wyatt goes looking for Hardy, who appears on the steps and the fight is on, including the opening bell.

Hardy wastes no time in knocking him down but Wyatt does his upside down lean in the corner. That earns Wyatt some applause, with the fans joining in. A DDT drops Hardy for two but Wyatt is back up for the running crossbody. Wyatt knocks him down again and we hit the chinlock as commentary makes various jokes to mostly ignore the match. The fans are clearly distracted by something else as the chinlock continues.

The hold is broken up and they head to the apron for a slugout, with Hardy being knocked out to the floor. Wyatt plants him again out there for two back inside and he’s….I guess frustrated? Hardy gets a boot up in the corner though and a tornado DDT drops Wyatt for two. The Side Effect connects for the same and the middle rope elbow to the back of the head staggers Wyatt again.

Wyatt is frustrated enough that he hits the release Rock Bottom into the backsplash for two of his own. The fans chant for Rusev as this match just keeps going, though Wyatt missing a middle rope backsplash brings them back to reality. Well as realistic as this is going to be. Sister Abigail is loaded up but Hardy reverses into the Twist Of Fate for the win at 9:56.

Rating: D. This was a great illustration of why the Broken/Woken stuff did not work in WWE. The appeal of this stuff in TNA was that everything was so low budget that it could be the focal point. Here though you have something as grand as the Elimination Chamber and bigger stars, which make this feel really low rent and, in short, stupid. The match wasn’t very good either, making this quite the chore.

We recap Ronda Rousey debuting last month at the Royal Rumble in a pretty awesome moment. Well, minus all of the bad smiling and awkward sign pointing.

Various wrestlers talk about how tough and awesome Rousey really is.

Here is Raw General Manager Kurt Angle for Rousey’s official contract signing, joined by Raw Commissioner (because each show needed TWO bosses) Stephanie McMahon and HHH. McMahon and HHH talk about how great Rousey is and how no one has been a bigger deal since Angle himself. Rousey comes out and looks more serious than in her debut, which is a nice upgrade.

Rousey says she can’t believe she’s here and talks about how much this means to her, only to have the fans’ ROUSEY chants cut her off. She thanks Roddy Piper for being her inspiration and hopes she can make his family proud. HHH gets down to business and asks if Rousey wants any perks in her contract, but Rousey wants to be treated like anyone else. The only thing she wanted is an invite to Wrestlemania, but she’ll also be having her first match at Wrestlemania.

Rousey is about to sign, but Angle says he’s in awe of HHH and McMahon. They’ve been talking about Rousey for a long time now, because they wanted to manipulate and humiliate her after what she did to them at Wrestlemania 31. Angle: “Isn’t that what you said Hunter? Three years in the making and now we own the b****?” HHH cuts that off in a hurry and tries to get Rousey back to her dreams while saying Angle has the flu.

With the guys gone, McMahon has Rousey almost ready to sign, but Angle pops up to say McMahon had been calling Rousey a has been. The death stare is back and so is HHH, who has to save his wife’s life. McMahon leaves so Rousey puts HHH through the table, earning herself the big slap. Then….Rousey just lets her leave before signing. This was pretty long, but it set up the obvious mixed tag for Rousey’s debut at Wrestlemania.

Commentary talks about what we just saw.

Fastlane rundown.

John Cena is worried about having no path to Wrestlemania, continuing one of the dumbest ideas in wrestling.

We recap the men’s Elimination Chamber, which is all about getting to go to Wrestlemania and challenge Brock Lesnar. This year’s edition has seven people, because a structure literally designed for six people has to be changed due to reasons of WWE being screwy. All of them want to win, but there isn’t much hiding that this is going to be Roman Reigns.

Men’s Elimination Chamber

Before we get going, Elias has to promise that he’s going to Wrestlemania, albeit in song form. The fans do seem to like the WALK WITH ELIAS deal and he’s entering last for an advantage. The song is dedicated to himself, because Las Vegas doesn’t get a song. The fans aren’t appreciative so Elias threatens to go sit in his pod. Then he sings anyway, because that’s what a heel would do.

Braun Strowman FINALLY interrupts as the entrances continue, along with the filler. After a good ten minutes of entrances, including Strowman scaring Miz from inside his pod in a funny bit, Miz Rollins is in at #1, Seth Rollins is in at #2 and Finn Balor is in at #3 to actually start this off (in a Wrestlemania preview) with five minute intervals.

Miz suggests an early alliance with Rollins to go after Balor and gets nowhere. Balor isn’t interested in teaming up with Miz either, but he’ll team up with Rollins to go after Miz in a funny bit. Miz is quickly thrown over the top and the alliance ends with Rollins grabbing a rollup for two. A dropkick cuts Rollins down and a basement version drops Miz again. Rollins kicks Balor down for two and it’s off to an exchange of rollups for two each. Balor gets caught in a backbreaker and a springboard clothesline takes Miz down again. There’s the Falcon Arrow for two on Miz, who landed hard on his shoulder.

Rollins hits a double Blockbuster for two each and it’s John Cena in at #4, even sticking his tongue out at Rollins in a weird look. They stare each other down before the fight is on, with Cena beating up Rollins and Miz at the same time. Balor gets back up but it’s Rollins knocking all of them into a corner for a string of running forearms. Cena isn’t having that and fireman’s Rollins and Balor at the same time. Both of them escape the AA though and Miz neckbreakers Rollins for two. Cena and Rollins both hit superplexes and everyone is down, with Roman Reigns coming in at #5.

Reigns gets to hammer away a bit before getting in a showdown with Rollins. They’re rammed into each other though and Miz DDTs Rollins for a fast two. Miz is the only one standing and he eventually starts firing off YES Kicks to all of the others before focusing on Reigns. This goes as well as you might have expected but the comeback is cut off by Balor. Reigns powerbombs him straight down and gets in a Samoan drop for two on Cena.

Braun Strowman is in at #6 and it’s a staredown with Reigns, only for Strowman to go after everyone else. Rollins and Cena get suplexed at the same time before Strowman literally throws Balor around. Miz climbs the Chamber wall…and Strowman goes right after him for some rams into the wall. Then Miz is thrown onto a pile in the ring for quite the visual. Everyone is down and Strowman is waiting on Elias, the only person left to enter. The running powerslam gets rid of the Miz for our first elimination at 20:18.

Elias comes in at #7 to complete the field but realizes that Strowman is waiting on him. Everyone but Elias goes after Strowman and they get together for a Shield Bomb for two. The AA gets one, followed by the spear, Stomp and Coup de Grace but everyone (save for the podded Elias) brawls, leaving Strowman down instead. Elias comes in to cover everyone not named Strowman and then takes turns beating on most of the people. A top rope elbow gets two on Rollins and the spinning powerbomb hits Reigns for the same.

Strowman misses a charge into the post but Elias can’t electric chair him up. That means the powerslam can get rid of Elias at 25:52. Rollins knees Strowman down and Cena goes up, only to dive into a powerslam to give Strowman another elimination at 27:23. Strowman and Balor slug it out, with Balor getting some boots up in the corner. Balor is back up with a Coup de Graces to Reigns but Strowman powerslams Balor at 30:40.

We’re down to three so Reigns and Rollins agree to team up against the monster, which doesn’t get the reaction you might expect. Strowman gets low bridged out to the floor for a ram into the Chamber wall. Then Rollins, like a schnook, turns on Reigns with a Buckle Bomb but Reigns Superman Punches him down. Strowman is back up and chases Rollins up a pod but gets pulled down with Reigns’ Samoan drop. Ever the slightly crazy man, Rollins drops a frog splash off the pod for two and Reigns gets back in. That’s fine with Strowman, who dropkicks him to the floor and powerslams Rollins for the pin at 36:33.

We’re down to two and Strowman invites Reigns to “COME GET THESE HANDS BOY!” Reigns gets shoved out to the floor but escapes a powerslam and sends him into the wall. The big dive over the top hits Strowman, but it doesn’t look as good when they’re at the same height. Strowman gets knocked through the pod but doesn’t stay down long, allowing Reigns to hit a Superman Punch as the fans aren’t pleased. Another Superman Punch sets up a blocked spear so Reigns hits a third Superman Punch. Two spears finish Strowman to send Reigns to Wrestlemania at 40:11.

Rating: B-. And there it is. Strowman gets to be this big dominant force in the Chamber and has the all time performance, which would be a clean sweep in any other Chamber, but instead, Reigns wins AGAIN. That was the problem for WWE at this point as it was ALL about Reigns. John Cena was in this match and was a complete afterthought, along with other multiple former World Champions. But it sets up Reigns for another Lesnar match and that’s all that matters.

Post match Strowman powerslams Reigns and sends him through a pod to end the show. Now in theory this would set up some kind of Reigns vs. Strowman showdown, but nah, as Strowman would spend a few weeks beating up Elias before going to Wrestlemania where he would pick a ten year old out of the crowd to win the Tag Team Titles. Which he would then forfeit. Then he would win Money In The Bank. And lose the cash-in when Lesnar interfered. Then he would lose to Lesnar for the vacant title. But at least he ALMOST got to beat Reigns here right?

Overall Rating: C-. I was kind of looking forward to seeing this show again as this period isn’t the most fondly remembered. After a few years away, I was wondering if it really was as bad as remembered and….it’s really just dull. There is nothing on here that is must see, with the two Chamber matches being the highlights. Even those matches were just ok, as Bliss keeps the title and Reigns gets to move on to his next destiny Wrestlemania main event. The rest of the show is completely skippable (save for MAYBE the contract signing) with nothing you need to see. I’m glad to be away from this era, as it lives down to its legacy.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: April 12, 2001
Location: First Union Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 14,626
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

This was another request for reasons I don’t exactly remember. We are freshly off Wrestlemania X7 and the big story is the Two Man Power Trip (all four of them) are running roughshod over the company. That is going to create some issues and it is time for someone to fight back. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Vince McMahon apologizing to Linda McMahon on Raw, only for Linda to say she wanted a divorce. Like that marriage could ever fall apart. Lita called what Linda did inspiring and got put in a six person tag, teaming with the Hardys against HHH/Steve Austin/Stephanie McMahon. Lita pinned Stephanie and destruction ensued as a result. Austin beating on Lita with a chair and giving her a Stunner are limited to still shots.

Opening sequence.

Here are HHH and Stephanie to get things going, with Steve Austin joining them. HHH talks about how things were pretty great just about a month ago, with The Rock and Chris Jericho as champions and Mick Foley as Commissioner. Now things have changed though, as The Rock is gone and they have taken the titles, just like they wanted to. The Hardys and Lita tried to stand in their way and look what happened.

Everywhere HHH goes or in “the dirt sheets”, he keeps hearing about how they went too far with Lita. The heck with that, because they will tell you when they crossed the line. HHH is that d*** good, Austin is that d*** cold and they are that d*** unstoppable. Eh not sure about that catchphrase. Austin is tired of all the same questions and talks about attacking the Rock at Wrestlemania because he wanted to.

Then Jim Ross asked why Austin did what he did but Austin is tired of Ross riding his coattails. He did it because he could and no one was there to stop him. Then the Hardys tried to do something about it and look what happened. Beating Lita with a chair was the best feeling he has had in a long time and there is no one back there who can stop them. Austin talks about how he could have done that to anyone in the audience but here is Jeff Hardy to lay out all three of them with a chair (Twist of Fate for Stephanie). It was a good, evil promo, but the Hardys felt WAY below these two and it was showing.

Post break, HHH storms into William Regal’s office and demands Jeff Hardy tonight, no matter what it takes.

Spike Dudley vs. Albert

The Dudley Boyz and the rest of X Factor are here and this is the fallout from Albert taking out Spike in a tag match on Raw. Spike forearms away to start and is dropped with a single shot to the face. Albert throws him across the ring (with a great Spike sell) and then drops him face first for the big crash. Spike avoids a charge but gets crotched on top to cut him off. Somehow Spike manages to knock him off the top though and a top rope double stomp connects. The Dudley Dog gets two as everyone starts fighting on the floor. Albert shrugs it off and hits the pump kick for the pin at 2:46.

Post match the Dudleys give Albert What’s Up. The table is loaded up but X-Pac takes out D-Von, followed by a double superkick to Bubba. Spike goes through the table.

Debra is looking for Jim Ross.

Don’t Try This At Home.

William Regal tells Jeff Hardy that he has an Intercontinental Title shot against HHH tonight (works for him) but if he ever besmirches (yes BESMIRCHES) Stephanie McMahon again, he will never get another title shot. Jeff leaves and Big Show comes in, demanding Undertaker and Kane tonight. Regal makes the match, with Show getting to pick any tag team he wants for a handicap match.

Crash Holly isn’t worried about Rhino, who Gores him into a steel door.

Debra comes in to see Jim Ross, who is fine with her being here despite what her husband did to him. She apologizes for what Steve Austin did and insists that she wasn’t involved. Ross knows that because he knows what kind of a person Debra is and knows she wouldn’t have anything to do with it. Austin comes in and accuses him of flirting with Debra before throwing him out (of his own dressing room). Debra isn’t sure what to do but Austins says they’re leaving now. They leave during the break.

Stephanie McMahon is annoyed at Jeff Hardy breaking her earring so HHH says he’ll take care of this. The match is officially dedicated to Stephanie and threatens the trainer. Stephanie: “Go get em Hunter. I love you.” The whiny voice made that as perfect as it could have been.

Women’s Title: Chyna vs. Ivory

Chyna is defending and Ivory has Steven Richards with her. Ivory tries to go up but gets slammed down for the early crash. Chyna’s handspring elbow misses though and Ivory grabs a bulldog. The chinlock stays on the neck (which is still banged up from earlier in the year) but Chyna powers up without much trouble. Richards gets involved by pulling Chyna to the floor for a clothesline though and Ivory gets a VERY delayed one. Chyna comes back with a suplex and some clotheslines as Ivory is getting ragdolled here. The gorilla press drop retains the title at 3:53.

Rating: C. This was somehow more competitive than their Wrestlemania match but it showed the problem with Chyna as champion: no one was going to be able to give her any serious challenge. Ivory was hardly a slouch and she got crushed here, which would happen with anyone. Chyna wouldn’t be long for the company, and it would take Trish Stratus of all people to save the division.

Post match Richards goes after Chyna and gets laid out for his efforts.

Big Show tries to get the APA to team with him tonight. That’s not happening, so Show accuses the APA of being scared. They’re just too busy though and tell him to shut the door as he goes.

Chris Benoit and Chris Jericho say they aren’t rocket scientists so they know William Regal is coming for revenge. Benoit says let’s go with it.

Edge And Christian/William Regal/Kurt Angle vs. Chris Benoit/Chris Jericho

Benoit and Jericho charge right in and Benoit suplexes Edge, setting up a Lionsault from Jericho. With the other villains cut off, Benoit adds the Swan Dive for two with Christian making the save. We settle down to Regal stomping on Benoit and it’s off to Angle for more of the same.

Angle gets in a German suplex but Benoit northern lights suplexes Christian as commentary ignores the match to talk about Hardy vs. HHH. Benoit gets over to Jericho for the tag to pick up the pace and we get back to back Walls and Crossfaces on various villains. That takes a bit too long though and Angle Angle Slams Jericho for the pin at 3:28.

Rating: B-. There was a lot going on in this one but it was more of an angle than a competitive match. The bigger deal here was making Regal, and presumably Vince McMahon and pals, look evil so that the Canadian Chrises would have someone to fight. Moving them up into the main event scene is not a bad idea and putting them in spots like this, where they held their own for a bit, is only going to make that push feel more warranted.

Post match Regal and Angle go after them again, only to get pulled into various submissions to make them tap.

Test wishes Jeff Hardy luck, as he wishes he could have done that to Stephanie more than once.

We recap Linda McMahon asking Vince for a divorce on Raw. This at least seems to be different than the opening video.

Rhyno vs. Hardcore Holly

This is over Rhyno attacking the other Hollys. They waste no time in starting the brawl until Rhyno charges into a boot in the corner. The fight goes to the mat before they get up and chop it out. Holly gets in his hanging kick to the ribs and they brawl into the corner again. Rhyno fights out of the corner but the Gore hits both of them. Cue Molly Holly with a trashcan so Hardcore can send Rhyno running. Apparently Rhyno was disqualified when he Gored the referee, so ignoring the lack of a bell, we’ll say it ended around 2:10.

Big Show asks Grandmaster Sexay and Steve Blackman to team with him tonight. Blackman has his nunchucks and Show thinks better of it.

Albert is the guest host at WWF New York. Not that we actually see him, but that’s what commentary tells us.

Jeff Hardy would love to be the Intercontinental Champion, but tonight is about payback and revenge.

The Right To Censor recruits Test, but he’s good on not having to give up everything and dress like them. He will take a match with Val Venis though.

Big Show settles for Kai En Tai. Apparently they think he’s Godzilla.

King Of The Ring sold out in four hours.

Big Show/Kai En Tai vs. Brothers Of Destruction

Funaki starts for the team but Undertaker wants Show. Instead it’s Kane coming in to beat up Taka but Funaki grabs the leg. Show tags himself in and hits a clothesline but Kane sits up, so we’ll have Funaki pulled in by Show instead. With Show leaving, it’s a double chokeslam to Kai En Tai. Kane tries his own Last Ride but just drops Funaki behind him instead. Undertaker shows him the proper method on Taka as Show is furious. Kane hits a better Last Ride to pin Funaki at 2:55. This was goofy fun.

Long video on the XFL playoffs.

Val Venis vs. Test

The Right To Censor is here with Venis, who jumps Test to start. They slug it out until Godfather trips Test up, allowing the RTC to hammer away from the floor. Venis chokes away and cranks on both arms at once to keep Test down. That doesn’t last long as Test is back up with a tilt-a-whirl slam, only for Venis to send him outside. Back in and Test hits the pumphandle slam so Godfather offers a distraction. Richards superkicks Venis by mistake and here is Raven, who the RTC tried to recruit on Raw, to give Richards a DDT. The big boot finishes Venis at 3:28.

Rating: C+. For a match between Test and Val Venis, they certainly put a lot in there. That’s a nice thing to see as it was a bit of a throwback to the Attitude Era style, which can work well in small doses. The RTC isn’t long for the world, and to be fair there wasn’t much else for them to do anyway. Not a great match, but it was fun while it lasted.

Post match the RTC gets in a big brawl of their own, with referees not being able to break it up.

We get another recap of what led to Jeff Hardy getting an Intercontinental Title shot.

Intercontinental Title: HHH vs. Jeff Hardy

HHH is defending and they’re both alone for a change. The early slugout goes to HHH, who knocks Hardy outside. Back in and hardy hits the legdrop between the legs into the basement dropkick before hammering away in the corner. HHH shoves him out for the big crash but the Whisper In The Wind gives Hardy two. A missed charge sends Hardy back to the floor, where he’s fine enough to send HHH into the steps.

The dive off the barricade is cut off with a powerslam out of the air, only for Hardy to get up…and get powerslammed out of the air again. Might want to try something different there chum. Back in and the jumping knee cuts Hardy off again but this time HHH would rather hammer away than cover. A hard whip into the corner drops Hardy again and HHH grabs a sleeper (more like an awkward hug really).

Hardy jawbreaks his way to freedom and…well one of them grabs a legsweep. Hardy goes up so HHH throws the referee into the ropes for the break, albeit not a DQ due to reasons of convenience. The referee gets shoved down but here is Matt Hardy (not supposed to be here) to chair HHH in the head. One heck of a Swanton gives Jeff the pin and the title in a huge upset at 8:07.

Rating: B-. This was mostly a HHH squash with a screwy ending but dang the fans went nuts when Hardy won. It was the first sign that there might be something to Jeff on his own, but it was also quite the surprise as you do not see a major heel faction lose so soon. That’s an interesting way to go, even if HHH would get the title back the next week. Granted there was something a bit bigger waiting on HHH and Austin later on in the form of Undertaker and Kane, but for now, good surprise here.

Overall Rating: B-. While I’m not big on the Austin heel run, it’s quite the fun flashback as you can see the incredible talent pool that the WWF had available. The amazing thing is that it would get even better in about two months with the Invasion and…ok so it didn’t exactly work out. This wasn’t some classic show, but it was interesting to see where the company was going in the fallout of Wrestlemania, especially with Rock gone. I’ll be back around this era one day and it was fun to look back at it again.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Royal Rumble 2009
Date: January 25, 2009
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 16,685
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross, Todd Grisham, Matt Striker, Tazz

This isn’t so much the Royal Rumble as much as it is HHH and Randy Orton are in a match and 28 other guys happen to be in the ring too. Other than that we have Edge challenging the NEW WWE Champion Jeff Hardy and Cena defending against JBL, who has Shawn Michaels and his crisis of conscience working for him at the moment. This wasn’t the best year for WWE so let’s get to it.

No intro video this year. That’s interesting.

ECW Title: Jack Swagger vs. Matt Hardy

Swagger won the title about two weeks ago and this is Hardy’s rematch. We actually get big match intros for this, which is a rare sight for an ECW Title match. Matt takes him into the corner to start before punching Jack in the face. Striker calls that a pugilistic endeavor to sound smart. Another punch sends Swagger to the floor and we head back inside for a clothesline from Matt.

Jack heads to the floor to hide after Matt swings again. Back in and Swagger takes Hardy to the mat and cranks on the arm a bit. Hardy comes back with a dropkick in the corner and a bulldog for two, only to go up and get shoved down to the floor. Back in and Swagger starts in on the arm but Hardy quickly escapes a key lock. A punch to Hardy’s arm blocks a clothesline and a big boot gets two for the champion.

Back to the key lock as Jack stays on the arm. He lifts Hardy off the mat by the arm a few times as the fans cheer for the challenger. Matt fights back but he’s basically fighting with one arm here. A bulldog puts Jack down for two and a middle rope elbow to Swagger’s back gets the same.

Hardy walks into a belly to belly suplex from Jack for two though and both guys are down. A DDT on the arm gets two for the champion but Matt blocks a belly to back superplex. Matt hits a decent looking moonsault for two and the fans are getting into these kickouts. The Twist is countered and Jack sends Matt shoulder and possibly head first into the post. The Swagger Bomb retains the title.

Rating: B-. Better match than I was expecting here with both guys looking good out there. Matt was getting close to being something decent as a singles guy and this was his way off ECW and onto Smackdown. Swagger would go on to win a world title and shock the world in the process before falling through the floor soon after. Solid opener here.

Orton arrives and gets glared at.

Women’s Title: Beth Phoenix vs. Melina

Melina is challenging and Beth has Santino with her here. Beth shoves her around to start before easily breaking out of a headlock. A LOUD Santino chant starts up as Beth throws Melina around. Melina comes back with a shot to the head but gets shoved down immediately again. The challenger hooks an armbar of all things but Beth easily stands up while Melina stands on her shoulder.

Melina gets on Beth’s shoulders again but Beth shoves her down in a crash. A running Umaga attack in the corner puts Melina down again and Beth is in full control. In a freaky looking move, Beth grabs Melina’s leg in a kind of ankle lock position and bends the leg forward to make Melina kick herself in the back of the head. FREAKING OW MAN! Melina escapes a gorilla press and fires off some forearms before getting two off a sunset flip. Two knees into Beth’s back have her staggered and a hair drag gets two. Out of nowhere, Melina grabs a spinning rollup for the pin and the title. As sudden as it sounds.

Rating: D+. Not terrible here and the girls looked good so I can’t complain much. That leg lock thing of Beth’s was SICK and it’s one of those moves that just looks painful all around. At the end of the day though, does it matter who has either of the female belts? They’re completely interchangeable and this one was retired the next year.

We recap JBL vs. Cena, which is basically the Shawn Michaels Story. Basically the story went that Shawn was crushed by the financial crash and JBL offered to hire him to help win the title. Shawn helped JBL win a #1 contenders match and the question is will he screw over Cena tonight and compromise his morals? There was a VERY real argument to be made for Shawn vs. JBL at Mania for the title, so this wasn’t a layup. The problem with this story is still there though: Shawn is a world class wrestler with the top company in the world….and he’s broke? He may have lost his savings but he’s not unemployed.

JBL tells Shawn is he wins the title tonight, Shawn is free with a huge payday and he can be in the Rumble tonight, which at the moment he isn’t. Bradshaw leaves and Taker shows up, saying that sometimes it’s a nightmare getting to Heaven.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Cena is defending in case you skipped the previous parts. We get the big match intros here and even a weapons check for old times’ sake. Cena takes him to the mat with a headlock to start but JBL counters into one of his own. A shoulder block puts JBL down and out to the floor as we take a breather. JBL whispers something to Shawn before heading back inside for some clubbing forearms to the back.

Cena slams him down for two though and we’re still in the early stages. JBL heads to the floor again but this time Cena goes after him. He runs into Shawn though and stops cold, allowing JBL to get in a shot to take over. Shawn didn’t move at all. Back in with JBL in control and a standing clothesline gets two. Presumably that one was only from Hoboken.

Off to a chinlock from the challenger as we keep things at JBL’s slow pace. A side slam gets two on Cena and he rolls out to the apron. Layfield knocks him to the floor and then sends him into the stairs for two back inside. Cena fights out of a superplex attempt and hits the top rope Fameasser for two of his own. The champ initiates his finishing sequence with all of his usual stuff including the Shuffle. Shawn hasn’t been a factor in the first nine minutes or so of the match.

JBL escapes the AA but gets caught in the STF instead. Shawn starts grabbing the ropes but doesn’t do anything. Cena lets go of the hold anyway, allowing JBL to kick Cena to the floor. JBL’s Clothesline gets two so he glares at Shawn for some reason. A quick AA attempt misses and JBL kicks the referee down by mistake. The Johns double clothesline each other and it’s time for the big moment.

Shawn gets in the ring and is staring at both guys. Both guys get up and Shawn superkicks John. As in the challenger/him employer. He also kicks the champion/the guy he was hired to take out before leaving. Shawn puts JBL’s arm across Cena, causing the fans to chant for the champ. Another referee comes out and gets a two count for Layfield and both guys get up. Cena hits a quick AA on JBL to retain.

Rating: C-. The match itself was pretty dull but the drama worked well enough to make up for it. At the end of the day, JBL simply wasn’t good enough at this point to hang in a world title match. Cena had to tone it WAY down to let JBL keep up with him and it showed badly. Still though, Shawn more than makes up for it and would go on to have a masterpiece with Taker at Mania so all is well and good.

We recap Edge vs. Hardy. Hardy shocked the world (including me) at Armageddon by winning the title, but a few weeks later he started having a string of “accidents” including having pyro go off in his face and nearly getting killed by a crazy driver. Everyone blamed Edge but he denied responsibility. The question is who is behind all this stuff. Hardy hasn’t had a match that I know of in the meantime. I went to a house show during this period and Hardy didn’t wrestle.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Jeff Hardy

Vickie makes it No DQ for no apparent reason and Chavo is in Edge’s corner because he’s familia. Jeff spears Edge into the corner to start and pounds away as fast as he can. The fans almost immediately start chanting WE WANT CHRISTIAN. Now remember that line as I’ll get back to it later on. Christian had left TNA and word hadn’t broken yet on if he had signed with WWE yet (I don’t think). Anyway, Jeff tries to bring in a chair but Edge kicks it out of his hands before it gets inside.

Hardy pounds away but Edge gets in a shot to take over for the first time. Edge sends him to the floor but can’t hit a baseball slide, allowing Hardy to hit a clothesline off the apron. Back in and Jeff tries a springboard but gets kicked down to the floor for the third time. Edge rams him into various hard objects including tables and the barricade and then another table.

We head back inside again with Edge in full control including a spear in the corner. Jeff grabs a quick two off a sunset flip but gets clotheslined right back down. Off to a body vice by Edge to slow things down a bit. Jeff fights up and hits a mule kick before going up top, only to jump into a dropkick from Edge for two. Now Edge goes to get two chairs but Jeff spears him down off the apron before it can be brought in.

Edge gets back to the apron but gets pulled down into a Twist of Fate onto said apron, sending both guys down onto the floor. Since it’s Jeff vs. Edge, here’s a ladder. Jeff spreads Edge out on the table but Chavo climbs up to slow Jeff down. Edge moves, so Jeff hits a HUGE splash to put Chavo through the table instead. Back in and Jeff gets two off a high cross body. Edge gets up first and pulls a buckle off, only to get caught in the Whisper in the Wind for two.

Out of nowhere Edge counters the Twist into a DDT for a very close two. We’re pretty clearly in the final stages of this match which means it’s getting awesome. Edge counters the slingshot dropkick into a kind of hot shot into the exposed buckle for ANOTHER two. The spear is countered into a Twist of Fate so Jeff goes up. After kicking Vickie away, the Swanton hits but Vickie pulls the referee out. Cue Matt to send Vickie into the ring and pick up a chair. To the shock of a lot of people, Matt cracks Jeff with the chair to give Edge of all people the world title.

Rating: B. This too awhile to get going but once they hit their stride they started acting like Edge and Jeff Hardy in a big match. The No DQ stuff wasn’t needed here but it made things work a bit better. At the end of the day, these two work best when they can turn off the rules and go nuts, which is what they did here.

Now remember earlier that I mentioned Christian. He was originally supposed to be in Matt’s spot, setting up a reunion with Edge. However, WWE felt the fans figured this out so we got Matt in his place. This also happened in 2012 with Sheamus winning the Rumble instead of Jericho. Based on this theory, Shawn should have kept the title at Wrestlemania 14 because almost everyone knew that Austin was winning.

That makes no sense and I don’t get what they think this is accomplishing. It didn’t work out well for Russo and it won’t work out for the WWE. Matt vs. Jeff didn’t work at the end of the day, mainly because I don’t think people wanted to see them fight. I’ll give them this: they did come up with a logical reason for Matt to turn so it’s not a terrible idea. It just wasn’t the best option they had.

Orton says he’ll win. Jericho pops in to thank Orton for punting Vince on Monday but Randy will probably get fired for it.

Rumble by the numbers which is roughly the same as the previous year.

Royal Rumble

Mysterio is #1 and Morrison is #2. Rey kicks him in the face a few times to start but gets put on the apron for trying his sitout bulldog. A springboard cross body puts Morrison down and there’s a big headscissors to take Morrison down. John gets sent to the apron but hangs on by the top rope, even when Mysterio dropkicks him in the ribs. Carlito is #3 and is the second tag champion in here along with Morrison. Those titles would be unified at Mania.

Rey tries a standing moonsault but gets caught in a modified swinging neckbreaker instead. Carlito hits a gorgeous double jump moonsault to take Morrison down and stomping ensues. MVP, currently on a winning streak after losing forever, is #4. There’s Ballin on Morrison and a facebuster to Carlito. Rey get sent to the apron but he saves himself almost immediately.

Great Khali with the awesome dance music is #5. Everybody gets a chop and Khali poses a bit. Mysterio tries to springboard onto him and Carlito tries a Backstabber, both to no avail. Kozlov is #6 and immediately headbutts Khali out by himself. MVP misses a running kick in the corner and he’s gone too (BIG heat on Vlad for that). Carlito is gone after jumping into a spinebuster and Mysterio looks to be up next, but heeeeeeeeeere’s HHH at #7.

Since no one else can get a good match out of Kozlov, you know HHH is going to try his hand at him. They stare each other down and Kozlov hits the headbutt to take him down. The facebuster stuns Kozlov and HHH throws him out wise ease. It’s HHH, Morrison and Mysterio in there at the moment with Rey chilling in the corner. The knee to the face puts Morrison down and Orton is #8.

The battle of Evolution continues and the backbreaker puts HHH down. Both finishers are countered with Morrison breaking up the Pedigree. Rey hits a seated senton on Orton and the 619 on Morrison before JTG is in at #9. Orton tries to put Mysterio out as people start pairing off. Ted DiBiase, as in one of Orton’s lackeys, is #10. Mysterio and DiBiase immediately fight to the apron with Rey doing some gymnastics to stay alive.

Jericho is #11 and goes right for Orton. He can’t get him out so there’s a Lionsault to HHH instead. Jericho is knocked to the apron and Mike Knox is #12. Orton and DiBiase focus on JTG as Knox beats on Rey. HHH saves the masked dude for no apparent reason and Miz is #13. He goes right after JTG and hits something like the Skull Crushing Finale before going after the Game.

Morrison and Mysterio team up on Orton but John and Miz both take RKOs. There’s one for JTG but HHH hits a Pedigree to stop Randy dead. HHH dumps Miz and Morrison to prove how awesome he is and Finlay is #14. Jericho backdrops Mysterio to the floor but he lands on Morrison and hops onto Miz to get back to the ring. Finlay beats on everyone in the ring until Cody Rhodes, the other of Orton’s goons, is #15.

We currently have Mysterio, HHH, Orton, JTG, DiBiase, Jericho, Knox, Finlay and Rhodes. Legacy (the collective name of the trio) starts picking off people one at a time, starting with Finlay. They don’t actually put anyone out but they get to beat on everyone at least. Rey dives at Orton but gets caught in an RKO in a nice counter. The Undertaker is #16 and here come the punches. His only victim at this point is JTG to clear the ring out a bit.

Goldust of all people is in at #17 and immediately goes for DiBiase. Rhodes pulls his real life brother (Goldust) off so Goldie sends him to the apron a few times. That’s as far as he can get though as an RKO puts Goldust down and Rhodes gets to dump him out. Punk is #18 and happens to be the IC Champion at this point. There’s a GTS for HHH as RKO works on Y2J. Mysterio gets sent to the apron by Knox and Finlay works on Taker.

Mark Henry is #19 and throws a lot of people around but can’t get anybody out. Shelton Benjamin is #20 to fill the ring up even more. Jericho and Punk go up top for no apparent reason other than for Shelton to charge the corner and hit a kind of double DDT to bring them both back down. Billy Regal is #21 and goes right for Punk, who beat him for the IC Title a week or so again.

Mysterio dumps Henry off camera to thankfully get someone out of the ring. HHH is upside down in the corner but he winds up sitting on the apron. Here’s Kofi at #22 to speed things up as well as he can with so many people around him. Taker dumps Benjamin and Kane is #23. After beating up a few people he stares his brother down before they start working together to chokeslam some people.

Punk pulls Regal out and brags about it without getting thrown out. R-Truth is #24 and nothing happens. Rob Van Dam makes a one night only return at #25 after not having been seen in the WWE in about a year and a half. That at least wakes the crowd up but there are too many people in there for his style of stuff to work. He loads up the Five Star but Truth is too close so he has to bail out in mid air.

The Brian Kendrick is #26 back when he was actually a big deal. To show how big he is, he manages to dump Kofi and get thrown out by HHH in about fifteen seconds. Dolph Ziggler gets lucky #27 but only lasts about six seconds longer than Kendrick with Kane getting the point. Your future World Heavyweight Champion ladies and gentlemen. Santino is #28 and breaks Warlord’s record of two seconds in the Rumble by being clotheslined out by Kane before he can even stand up straight.

Jim Duggan makes his token Rumble appearance at #29 and he punches everything in sight, including knocking the Dead Man down. Big Show is #30, giving us a final group of Mysterio, HHH, Orton, DiBiase, Jericho, Knox, Finlay, Rhodes, Undertaker, Punk, Kane, R-Truth, RVD, Duggan and Big Show, or half the field in the entire match. Nearly everyone goes after him at once but it’s Duggan that gets tossed instead.

Jericho tries to put a sleeper on Show but it gets about as far as you would expect. Taker throws Punk to the apron as Show dumps Truth. Punk fires off some kicks and hangs on three times so Show finally knocks him out cold and out to the floor. Show knocks out Knox and Mysterio as Horny gets in for no apparent reason. Finlay tries to save him and gets dumped for his efforts at good parenting.

Jericho hits a Codebreaker on Kane and Orton hits the Elevated DDT on HHH. Taker and Show have their required staredown and RVD hits the Five Star on Orton. Jericho comes up behind Van Dam to dump him while Rob holds his ribs. That’s his last WWE appearance to date. Chris turns around and sees Taker who tosses him with glee. Legacy teams up to put Kane out and we’re down to Taker, Big Show, HHH and Legacy.

The trio surrounds Undertaker as HHH gets chokeslammed. Taker does the same to most of Legacy so the giants punch each other a lot until Show gets knocked to the apron and hangs on with his feet flying off the apron. THAT was cool. Not that it matters anyway as he gets RKO’ed out a few moments later but it still looked good. Show pulls Taker to the floor a minute later because that’s how he rolls.

So as people expected at the time, it’s HHH vs. Legacy for the Rumble. Taker and Show fight into the crowd for no apparent reason. HHH goes after Rhodes first but the numbers catch up with him. He gets beaten down and Orton says pick him up. The RKO is countered though and HHH sends Orton to the apron. There goes DiBiase and Rhodes follows, but Orton sneaks up on HHH and throws him out to win the Rumble.

Rating: D. This was one of the weaker Rumbles there’s ever been. For one thing, it was clear that Orton was going to win no matter what happened. Second and probably more important, they got caught in the classic Rumble trap of having WAY too many people in there at once. They didn’t even try the three act structure here and it showed badly. That’s something Pat Patterson was absolutely amazing at and he was gone by this point.

Overall Rating: C-. It’s clear that the company was in a transitional period here and that makes this a hard one to get through. There’s enough good stuff here to check it out, but it’s nothing worth going out of your way to see. The only really solid match is Edge vs. Hardy and even that is nothing really worth seeing. This is a rare instance where the Rumble didn’t dictate how the show went as the rest of it is a far easier sit than the Rumble itself.

Ratings Comparison

Jack Swagger vs. Matt Hardy

Original: B

Redo: B-

Melina vs. Beth Phoenix

Original: C-

Redo: D+

John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Original: C

Redo: C-

Edge vs. Jeff Hardy

Original: B-

Redo: B

Royal Rumble

Original: D

Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: B+

Redo: C-

So let me get this straight: every match is literally within a single grade of the original but the original is nearly two grades higher? Dang I was REALLY feeling generous that day. A show with an hour long match that gets a D doesn’t sound like a B+ overall to me.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/28/royal-rumble-count-up-2009-the-voices-tell-me-no-one-but-orton-has-a-chance/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Royal Rumble 2002
Date: January 20, 2002
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 12,915
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is a show that is rather fondly remembered by some but I don’t recall it being anything special. Maybe it holds up better over time, which has certainly been the case before. The big appeal is the return of HHH, who is back in the ring after about eight months away following the famous quadriceps injury. Let’s get to it.

We open with a look back at some classic Royal Rumble endings. This transitions into a look at HHH returning. In case you thought they were hiding the obvious winner, they aren’t trying in the slightest.

Tag Team Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. Spike Dudley/Tazz

The Dudleys, with Stacy Keibler, are challenging and they jump the champs to start. The reverse 3D drops Tazz on the floor, leaving Spike, in a neck brace, on his own. Another reverse 3D hits Spike inside and there’s another neckbreaker to put him down again. A suplex makes it even worse as Tazz is on the apron.

Spike slips out of another suplex and hits the Dudley Dog but D-Von cuts off a tag. One heck of a double flapjack (JR mentions the Midnight Express) sets up a middle Swan Dive from D-Von and the Dudleys clothesline each other by mistake. Tazz comes in o clean house with the suplexes but stops to Tazmission Stacy. Spike gets thrown over the top for a nasty crash to the floor, leaving Tazz to get the Tazmission on D-Von to retain at 5:07.

Rating: C. This is one of those instances where they were trying to do something different and I get the thinking, but Spike and Tazz as the best tag team around just didn’t work very well. They were certainly trying and there was a story here, but it this could have been on any given Raw and felt as unimportant. Points for trying, though it didn’t click.

We recap Edge defending the Intercontinental Title against William Regal, who has bee using the brass knuckles. Edge fought back with a chair to break his nose, so now it’s time to fight for good.

Edge has his chair and is ready to fight the Devil, who is going to get burned.

Intercontinental Title: Edge vs. William Regal

Edge is defending. We get the old weapons check on Regal…and the referee finds the brass knuckles. You don’t see that very often. I mean, it happens every time I watch this match but that’s probably just an odds thing. Edge starts fast and hammers away as Lawler thinks the referee planted the brass knuckles in Regal’s trunks. Regal comes back with a shot to the face to take over and adds some jumping knees to the face.

The cross arm choke has Edge in more trouble but he suplexes his way to…well not freedom as Regal holds on and hits a tiger bomb for two. They head to the apron where Edge grabs a DDT onto the apron for a rather delayed two, despite his legs being underneath the ropes. Back up and they collide for a double knockdown, followed by Edge grabbing a suplex for two more. Regal shows him how to do a much better suplex so Edge nails a hard clothesline.

A quick Regal Stretch has Edge in trouble, sending him over to the ropes. Naturally Edge grabs the same hold and of course Regal goes right back to the ropes for a break of his own. A top rope spinwheel kick (that always looks good) connects but Regal pulls out even more brass knuckles (How did the referee not notice those?). The spear takes out the referee by mistake and Regal knocks Edge cold for the title at 9:45.

Rating: C+. This was a bit better than the opener but it still felt like something that could have been on a regular television show. The stuff with the brass knuckles was a nice touch though, with Regal being the kind of person to have multiple weapons just in case. Edge would be on his way to some far bigger and better things going forward, not the least of which would be a nice shampoo commercial.

Post match Regal brags about being blessed with the Power Of The Punch. JR: “He’s a liar!”

Women’s Title: Jazz vs. Trish Stratus

Stratus, with a bad hand, is defending and Jacqueline is guest referee. Jazz starts fast and fires off a backdrop, setting up a splash (JR: “Right on the purple puppies!” Lawler: “Hey, that’s my line! Right on the purple puppies!”) for two. Another knockdown lets Jazz start in on the hand but it’s time to argue with Jacqueline. Some shoving ensues and Jacqueline counts a VERY slow two off a rollup. A quick Stratusfaction gives Stratus two but Jazz is back with a DDT for the same. Back up and Jazz charges into a boot in the corner, setting up a bulldog to give Stratus the retaining pin at 3:43.

Rating: C-. I’m not sure how much Jacqueline added here as she was little more than a familiar face who didn’t really do anything for the ending. Maybe it’s a way to give Stratus a chance, but it wasn’t exactly a good match and felt like it could have been on TV. In other words, it was the women’s division in 2002.

Ric Flair’s family is here for his street fight.

We recap Vince McMahon vs. Ric Flair. Back in November, Flair debuted as the new co-owner of the WWF, leading to a not so great business relationship. They hate each other so they’re having a street fight. Naturally Vince dressed up as Flair because that’s one of his favorite deals. Then he beat Flair up with a pipe a bunch of times. This is WAY longer of a recap than this match probably needs.

Ric Flair vs. Vince McMahon

Street fight. They circle each other to start and Vince shoves him down, meaning it’s time to pose. Flair goes for the grappling to take over but gets taken into the corner for some shots to various places. They go outside with McMahon bending a KEEP OFF sign over Flair’s head. Some trashcan shots have Flair busted open as this has been pretty much all Vince so far.

The beating continues with Vince grabbing a camera to take a picture of the bloody Flair but Flair’s daughter takes it away. Back inside and Vince starts in on the leg with some cranking before the required Figure Four. With that broken up, Vince grabs the lead pipe but Flair hits him low for the needed breather.

Flair knocks him outside and gets in a monitor shot to the head to bust Vince open. The beating takes Vince around the ring to Flair’s daughter, who takes pictures with the camera from earlier (nice touch). There’s another low blow and now Flair has the pipe. The big shot to the head sets up the Figure Four and Vince gives up at 14:58.

Rating: B. This was a match where they didn’t go anywhere away from the most basic route and that’s what it should have been. Vince attacked him to start and tried to humiliate him, only for Flair to fight back and do the exact same things to him. Flair then beat him with a wrestling hold because he’s the better man and the fans got behind him throughout. It’s a match that Flair can do in his sleep and it worked well here. Good stuff and by far the best part of the show so far.

Nick Patrick has no idea what he thought of the William Regal title win but Stephanie McMahon comes in. She dismisses Patrick and promises that HHH will destroy everyone. It’s a shame Steve Austin’s wife Debra won’t be there, but Austin pops up behind her for the WHAT treatment (when it was still new). With Stephanie gone, Austin does a lot of WHATing about winning the Royal Rumble.

We recap Chris Jericho defending the WWF Title against the Rock. They had been feuding before Jericho won the title and now they’re doing it again after he won. Rock has made it clear that he’s taking Jericho seriously because this isn’t a joke. Then he said “tick tock, tick tock” a bunch.

WWF Title: Chris Jericho vs. The Rock

Jericho is defending and talks trash to start, meaning the beating is on in a hurry. The Samoan drop gives Rock an early two so Jericho bails out to the floor. Back in and the flying forearm takes Rock down but he avoids a charge into the post. Jericho is fine enough to hit the spinwheel kick for two and of course he complains about the count. The arrogant cover gets two and the missile dropkick connects for the same.

We hit the chinlock for a good while before Jericho goes up, only to get caught by some right hands. A superplex brings Jericho back down and they both need a breather. Back up and Rock hammers away, with his belly to belly throw getting two. Jericho is right back with the bulldog into a pair of Lionsaults for two but dives into the Sharpshooter.

Cue Lance Storm for a distraction as Jericho is tapping, leaving Rock to have to fight off an invading Christian. Jericho’s Rock Bottom gets two as the other Canadians are ejected but a counterfeit People’s Elbow is broken up. They fight out to the floor and Rock hits a heck of a Rock Bottom through the announcers’ table for a huge crash. Back in and Jericho countering another Rock Bottom into the Walls, sending Rock over to the ropes.

The referee gets bumped and there’s a belt shot for two, with another referee running in for the count (If he saw the ref bump, how did he not see the belt shot ten seconds later?). Rock grabs a DDT but the new referee (Nick Patrick, who was screwy earlier in the Regal match) won’t count, earning himself a Rock Bottom. The spinebuster and Rock Bottom get…nothing as there’s no referee. Well Rock brought that on himself. Jericho hits him low and sends him into an exposed buckle for a rollup with feet on the ropes for the pin to retain at 18:49.

Rating: B+. Jericho was reaching a new level at this point and having long form pay per view matches with people on the Rock’s level was only going to help that. It had a lot of shenanigans at the end, but what matters is Jericho beat someone that important. Jericho was needing to make it last while it could though, as the major stars were on their way. Rock was in a weird place too, as he was so huge at this point that he needed something special and going after the title really didn’t feel that important. At least not here. Anyway, rather good match here as these two work together very well.

Don’t try this at home.

Shawn Michaels, in a very Texas shirt, is at WWF New York and loved the McMahon vs. Flair match. He’s got the Undertaker or Steve Austin in the Royal Rumble.

We recap the Royal Rumble, which is HHH’s to win by about a hundred miles, with Steve Austin, Undertaker and Kurt Angle as the other best options….but it’s going to be HHH. They really didn’t even bother trying to hide it, which sometimes can’t be avoided.

Royal Rumble

Two minute intervals with Rikishi in at #1 and the returning Goldust in at #2. The ring is mostly covered in gold confetti as Goldust hammers away, only to be knocked to the apron. This lets commentary explain the rules again, which is perfectly fine and a good way to get fans refreshed before things get crazy. Rikishi knocks him down into the corner and here is Big Boss Man in at #3 to get knocked into the corner as well. A running clothesline turns Rikishi inside out and the slow brawling ensues until Bradshaw is in at #4.

The Stinkface has Boss Man in trouble and that’s the first elimination. Bradshaw powerbombs Goldust and it’s Lance Storm in at #5. The lack of anything interesting continues as it’s just low level people hitting each other without much urgency. Al Snow is in at #6 to pick up the pace a bit (let that one sink in for a bit) and the Clothesline From Bradshaw knocks Storm silly (but not out).

Billy Gunn is in at #7 and is quickly booted in the face by Bradshaw. Snow and Storm fight to the apron with Storm being superkicked out, which is somehow the most exciting part of the match about ten minutes in. Goldust dumps Bradshaw and it’s the Undertaker in at #8 to likely clear out more than a few people. Undertaker cleans house and knocks out everyone else in the ring without much trouble, leaving him standing alone (the fans like it).

Matt Hardy is in at #9 and it goes about as well as you would expect, only for Lita (who Undertaker recently attacked) to dive in for a distraction. A low blow lets Matt get in a running neckbreaker but Undertaker slugs him away. Undertaker loads up a suplex but Jeff Hardy is in at #10 for the save and we get a Team Xtreme beatdown. With Lita on the floor, Undertaker fights back, only to get caught in the Twist Of Fate/Swanton. Poetry In Motion is a bad idea though as Jeff is thrown out, leaving Matt to take the Last Ride, setting up the easy elimination.

Undertaker is left alone and it’s Maven, from Tough Enough, in at #11 (unfortunately with his rather awesome song missing). Undertaker goes after Lita again though and the Hardys come in to jump him. The sore losers are thrown out again….and Maven eliminates Undertaker with a dropkick. This marks the all time high point of Maven’s career and is immediately followed by an absolute massacre, as Undertaker completely wrecks him, including a nasty chair shot to the head.

Maven is thrown back inside as Scotty 2 Hotty is in at #12 and is punched in the face on the way to the ring. The bloody Maven is thrown over the top for an elimination as the destruction continues. Undertaker knocks him through the crowd and into the concession area, where the bloody Maven (as Christian is in at #13) is sent through a popcorn machine. Christian lays over the top as Scotty finally gets in, which is a heck of a lot better than waiting around for someone else to enter.

Diamond Dallas Page is in at #14 and goes after Christian but gets superkicked to the floor (not out). That leaves Scotty to give Christian the Worm…and then get thrown out by Page. Chuck is in at #15 as we’re back to the lack of top level stars. Chuck and Page slug it out (and do better than you might expect) as the Godfather, now the owner of an escort service is back at #16.

This means bringing out twelve women for his entrance, including a lot of dancing (JR: “Well he did give me a coupon earlier today…” Lawler: “HE’S GOT COUPONS!”) as we just stop watching the match. Page is eliminated off camera as Godfather goes back for more dancing. Godfather finally gets in and is promptly beaten down as Albert (the Hip Hop Hippo) is in at #17.

The villains fight up and knock out Albert and then Godfather, as this is still managing to stay slow. Perry Saturn is in at #18 and it’s more of the same generic brawling. We’re desperately needing someone to come in and spice things up….and Steve Austin is in at #19. Yeah that works, with Austin clearing the ring with three straight eliminations.

That doesn’t leave him anything to do, so he throws Christian and Chuck back in for another Stunner and toss over the top each. That’s the kind of thing Austin would do and it made him feel like so much more of a star because he was doing something extra other than just sitting around waiting. Val Venis (also returning) is in at #20 and actually takes over for a bit, which isn’t likely to last long. Indeed it doesn’t as Austin fights up, only to be jumped by Test, who is in at #21.

Austin fights up and eliminates them like they’re Val Venis and Test against Steve Austin in the Royal Rumble. That leaves Austin alone…and HHH is in at #22 for the mega showdown. They stare each other down and eventually slug it out until Hurricane is in at #23, as a double clothesline gives us a double knockdown. Hurricane tries a double chokeslam, giving us a funny look between Austin and HHH before they throw him out.

Faarooq is in at #24 and gets in a few shots before being tossed out as well. HHH and Austin get to fight some more and it’s the returning (we have a theme) Mr. Perfect in at #25 to quite the reaction. Perfect wisely takes his time getting in before going after Austin and punching HHH down. Things slow again until Kurt Angle is in at #26, with the fans knowing they’re in for some bigger stuff now.

For some reason Austin saves HHH from Angle, earning himself an overhead belly to belly. Big Show is in at #27 but the double chokeslam is broken up. Show fights back and tries a gorilla press on Angle, with HHH making the save. JR tries to explain that HHH feels Show is a bigger threat than Angle and….eh I guess I can take that. Show cleans house and chokeslams HHH but it’s Kane in at #28.

We get the big power showdown and Kane dumps Show, only to walk into a Stunner, allowing Angle to throw Kane out as well. Rob Van Dam is in at #29 with a Five Star to Angle and kicks to various people. Rolling Thunder hits Austin but HHH is back with a Pedigree, leaving everyone down. Booker T. is in at #30, giving us a final grouping of Austin, HHH, Perfect, Van Dam, Angle and Booker, who tosses Van Dam with no trouble.

The Spinarooni ensues…and so does a Stunner to get rid of Booker in about thirty seconds. Angle Angle Slams HHH and then rolls the German suplexes, only for Austin to get in a low blow. Austin is sent out to the apron but fights back…and is tossed by Angle and Perfect in something of a surprise exit.

We’re down to three and the beating continues on the floor. That doesn’t work for Austin, who comes back in with chair shots for everyone before leaving himself. Perfect is up with the PerfectPlex and Hennig necksnap to Angle, only for HHH to throw Perfect out. HHH takes Angle down and hammers away before getting in some choking. A backdrop sends HHH to the apron but he’s right back in with a facebuster and clothesline for the win at 1:09:25.

Rating: C+. I couldn’t get into this one for the most part, as there were just so many parts of low level names doing the bare minimum. It had some good parts, like the Undertaker vs. the Hardys, Maven’s destruction, HHH vs. Austin and most of Austin’s shenanigans, but those were feeling really far apart at times. It’s certainly not the worst Rumble, but HHH was the clear winner throughout and that made for a long stretch until we got to the ending.

Overall Rating: B-. This is a show that needed one more good match as the first three were just passable at best. The Flair vs. McMahon and Jericho vs. Rock matches were both worth a look and the Rumble was ok enough, but there just wasn’t much that stood out. The Rumble needed another viable winner, and with Undertaker out early and Austin just past his prime, it wasn’t there. Not a bad show at all, but there are far better options.

Ratings Comparison

Spike Dudley/Tazz vs. Billy and Chuck

Original: C-
2013 Redo: D+
2025 Redo: C

William Regal vs. Edge

Original: C-
2013 Redo: D+
2025 Redo: C+

Trish Stratus vs. Jazz

Original: D+
2013 Redo: D
2025 Redo: C-

Ric Flair vs. Vince McMahon

Original: D+
2013 Redo: C+
2025 Redo: B

Chris Jericho vs. The Rock

Original: B+
2013 Redo: B
2025 Redo: B+

Royal Rumble

Original: C-
2013 Redo: C+
2025 Redo: C+

Overall Rating

Original: B-
2013 Redo: B-
2025 Redo: B-

So most of the matches were lower but the overall rating was the same every time. In case you need any more proof that I used to be really bad at my job, here you go. The first three matches aren’t very good but they’re not as bad as I had said before.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: January 6, 2025
Location: Inuit Dome, Inglewood, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Pat McAfee

It’s a new era as we are officially on Netflix, which could make for a heck of a change of pace. The show is not going to have a fixed runtime and this is more or less going to be the pay per view of the month. That alone should make for a special night, but there are likely going to be some guest stars and maybe some debuts as well. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Earlier today, a bunch of people came to work.

We get a special video, with HHH talking about the story of wrestling being like an artist’s canvas before moving over to television. We see some paintings of Hulk Hogan and Andre (which HHH refers to as “the face and the heel”) and various famous clips (including some from WCW), as HHH says the screens get smaller but the stories get larger. Presenting the never ending story of WWE, with the camera pulling back to reveal a heck of a montage of tars painted on a mat.

The curtain, which the video was playing on, falls from around the ring and HHH is standing inside. HHH says let them hear you louder than ever before and asks if we’re ready. Welcome to the Netflix Era. This was a spectacular opening, as no one in the world can hype up its own history like WWE.

And here’s the Rock to get things going. After a very long intro, Rock talks about how he used to watch wrestling as a kid, but now it’s a lot easier to watch, especially on Netflix. We get the official announcement that this is the largest arena gate in WWE history, for about the fourth time in the last year. Rock thanks some Netflix executives, as well as Cody Rhodes, who is in the crowd for some reason. Rock: “Tell Mama Rhodes the Rock said hello.” He puts over the Tribal Combat match and talks about what it means to be a chief in their family before saying it’s time to start the show.

Roman Reigns vs. Solo Sikoa

Tribal Combat, meaning anything goes, for the title of Tribal Chief and Paul Heyman is here with Reigns. After a break, they start fast with the slugout with Reigns knocking him out to the floor. Back in and Reigns hammers away against the ropes, only to get sent outside. Sikoa sends him over the announcers’ table with Spinning Solo. Sikoa hits him in the head with the steps and then sits on them as we take a break.

Back with Sikoa unloading with a chair and then wrapping it around Reigns’ neck. The running Umaga Attack misses though and Reigns chairs him down but a Conchairto misses. Spinning Solo onto the chair gets two but Reigns fights back up. The spear connects for two, with Tama Tonga pulling the referee out.

Cue Jacob Fatu to lay Reigns out, with the implant DDT into the moonsault getting two. The referee gets taken out but here are Sami Zayn and Jey Uso to brawl with the Bloodline. Reigns hits a spear for a delayed two from another referee but here is Kevin Owens with a Stunner for two on Reigns. The package piledriver is loaded up by cue Cody Rhodes to brawl with Owens. Reigns hits the spear to put Sikoa away at 23:27.

Rating: B. This never quite made it up to the next level, but it was a nice street fight style match with some good interference to make it better. Reigns beating Sikoa is a major result and what matters is that it should be either the beginning of the end of the new new Bloodline or the end of the storyline entirely. Reigns getting the win is what matters here and I could go for seeing what they have going on next. For now though, Reigns beats Sikoa and that should wrap up some things for now.

Post match Heyman loads up the Ula Fala but here is the Rock to give it to Reigns instead.

The Royal Rumble is officially coming to Riyadh next year.

Various wrestlers, like Rey Mysterio, LA Knight and the War Raiders are in the crowd.

Here is John Cena for a chat as the Farewell Tour officially gets going. Cena hypes up how smart the fans are and they know their audience just got a lot bigger. He thanks the fans and Monday Night Raw for letting him stand in the ring in jorts one more time. Cena is ready to start his farewell tour and lists off some potential opponents, like CM Punk and Cody Rhodes. The other question people are asking is when he’ll become the 17 time World Champion, but he’s not seeing it.

Cena is on a streak of over 2,400 since he won a singles match (Cena: “Yeah.”) so the World Title is not in the cards. He has a better chance of winning an Oscar and….well….that’s not going to happen either. The only chance he has to get a title shot is to win Money In The Bank or the Elimination Chamber or….the Royal Rumble. Maybe he could do that! It would be a great way to thank the fans and if you know him, nothing is impossible. The only time they say never is when they say never give up. He’s in the Rumble. Cena had this crow in the palm of his hand and his last Rumble is a going to be a special moment.

Video on Logan Paul, who is in the crowd.

More wrestlers and celebrities (including Macaulay Culkin, who gets a ROAR) are here. Danielle Fishel (Topanga from Boy Meets World is here, sitting next to Will Friedle (Eric from Boy Meets World), the latter of whom is not acknowledged whatsoever.

Raw Women’s Title: Liv Morgan vs. Rhea Ripley

Ripley is challenging. They start fast with Ripley hammering her out to the floor. Ripley wastes no time in tossing her over the announcers’ table and we take a break. Back with Morgan stomping away but Ripley muscles her up. A half and half suplex gets two on Morgan but she’s back with a Backstabber.

Ripley is back with Riptide for two and Dominik Mysterio offers a distraction, allowing Morgan to hit Oblivion onto a chair for a rather near fall. Three Amigos into the frog splash get two on Ripley, but she blocks another Oblivion. Back to back Riptides finish Morgan at make Ripley champion again at 11:29.

Rating: C. This was about Ripley getting to smash Morgan for good to win the title back, which is exactly how it should have gone. There comes a point where Morgan can only escape so often as she’s no match for Ripley one on one. The match was only so good as Morgan could only do so much, but what mattered was the result and it went well.

Post match, Dominik tries to hug Ripley and gets kicked low. Ripley goes up the ramp…and here is the Undertaker on the motorcycle to pay tribute to her. They do the double raised fist pose.

Chad Gable and American Made want Adam Pearce to get the best luchador for next week.

As the Rock left, he talked to various people, including HHH (who he leaves hanging on a handshake) Paul Heyman, Roman Reigns and Cody Rhodes, naturally with his bottle of tequila in his hand. Oh and he’ll be at NXT tomorrow night. Ignore him driving away after drinking tequila.

More celebrities are here.

Jey Uso vs. Drew McIntyre

Uso comes to the ring with Travis Scott and Cole dances to the Yeet song on commentary in an amazing bit. McIntyre powers him into the apron to start as commentary recaps everything that McIntyre has been going through lately. They get inside for the opening bell with McIntyre chopping away in the corner, only to get powerbombed down.

McIntyre fights back and tries the Claymore, only to get kicked in the face for his efforts. Back up and a DDT is blocked, allowing McIntyre to hit a Futureshock for a near fall. The spear gives Uso a rather delayed two but another attempt is blocked. Back up and a quick Claymore gives McIntyre two so he loads it up again, only to get reversed into a crucifix for the pin at 10:22.

Rating: C+. The result is a bit of a surprise as McIntyre has been mowing his way through people lately but just gets pinned here. That should send McIntyre further over the edge, which is a good thing, but I’m not sure what his end game is here. A match with Roman Reigns would make sense, but him losing like this isn’t the best way to set something like that up. Uso doesn’t have much else going on either, but he might have to deal with the Bloodline after getting involved earlier.

Video on Gunther.

Comedian Gabriel Iglesias is cut off by New Day, who aren’t happy that they aren’t getting time on the show. They’re told they’re out of time and Iglesias leaves with the Alpha Academy.

Roman Reigns and Paul Heyman are happy with their win and ready for a celebration. Reigns says it’s on for January 27 and they go into a room marked WWE2K25.

More wrestlers and celebrities are here and it’s Hulk Hogan out for a chat with Jimmy Hart. He promotes his beer and plugs Raw on Netflix, with the fans NOT being pleased.

Here’s what’s coming next week.

CM Punk vs. Seth Rollins

They waste no time in going to the fighting and it’s already on the floor early on. Rollins sends him into the barricade and yells at the referee to LET IT RIDE, which he seems willing to do. Punk backdrops him into the crowd with Rollins getting the better of things, only for Punk to punch him out of the air. They head back inside, where Rollins misses a quick Stomp attempt.

The GTS is broken up as well so Rollins chokes away in the corner and goes up. That’s fine with Punk, who grabs as super swinging neckbreaker for a breather. We take a break and come back with Punk hitting some running knees in the corner and the swinging neckbreaker drops Rollins again. Rollins is favoring his neck as he rolls to the apron, with Punk hitting a neckbreaker over the ropes.

The suicide dive drops Rollins again and they head back inside, where Rollins rolls through a high crossbody into a GTS of his own send him back outside. Rollins mocks Punk a lot so Punk comes back with a Stomp for two of his own. Punk’s GTS is countered into another one from Rollins and they go outside again.

This time a GTS onto the announcers’ table is countered into a Pedigree to drop Punk. Back in and a Pedigree gives Rollins two, meaning they both need to breathe. They slug it out from their knees until Rollins grabs a Buckle Bomb into the Stomp…but Punk gets a foot on the rope. Back up and Rollins tries the Falcon Arrow but Punk reverses into back to back GTS’s for the pin at 19:54.

Rating: B+. This might not have been an all time classic but Punk can still hang in the ring with just about anyone. It worked well here and Rollins has to go back to square one, which should mean a run in the Rumble. Punk very well may be doing the same thing and gets a nice feather in his cap on the way there.

Rollins is bleeding from the eye to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. The show was far from perfect, but they had a lot of special moments to cover rather than just being a regular week. So much of this was about establishing that they were on Netflix and showing the fans what they have to look forward to around here. The opener and main event were both good and the two matches in between were fine enough, while the feed (at least the one I was watching) was perfect. This might not have been a classic, but it was a show that set up the new platform and it could have been FAR worse. Just ask Hogan.

Results
Roman Reigns b. Solo Sikoa – Spear
Rhea Ripley b. Liv Morgan – Riptide
Jey Uso b. Drew McIntyre – Superkick
CM Punk b. Seth Rollins – GTS

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Shotgun Saturday Night
Date: February 7, 1997
Location: Penn Station, New York City, New York
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Sunny

This was a special live broadcast (of a 27 year old show that is) on the WWE Vault channel and that alone should be more than enough to make it interesting. Shotgun was a show broadcast from various clubs and locations in New York City, making it a localized national show, because that was a thing. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Godwinns vs. Nation Of Domination

The venue is really cool as everyone has to come down a bunch of steps to get to the ring. Clarence Mason joins commentary as we take a good while to get started after the opening bell. Crush and Phineas finally lock up, over two minutes after the opening bell. Crush’s headlock keeps things slow to start until Phineas powers out and runs him over. A clothesline drops an invading Faarooq and the Nation runs away from the slop bucket.

After Todd Pettengill talks to some kids in a split screen, Savio Vega comes to ringside and we take a break. Back with Crush grabbing a nerve hold on Henry and then stomps away. Henry fights up for a double clothesline and it’s back to Phineas to clean house. Vega offers a distraction though, allowing Faarooq to hit a clothesline to give Crush the pin at 12:26.

Rating: C-. Pretty dull tag match here as they seem to be keeping it pretty basic with everything going on around here. It’s a weird place to hold a wrestling show and there is only so much that they can cover with a smaller than usual ring. The Godwinns are already feeling beyond their expiration date here too, as it’s one of the goofier New Generation style gimmicks and that doesn’t work so well in 1997.

Hunter Hearst Helmsley arrives in a long limousine and is ready to defend the Intercontinental Title against Undertaker.

Intercontinental Title: Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Undertaker

Helmsley, with the Ode To Joy theme, is defending and thankfully Undertaker picks up the pace on the way down the steps. We’re joined in progress with the referee getting bumped and Helmsley hitting Undertaker with the belt. We take a break less than a minute after coming back and come back again to HHH dropping a knee. A neckbreaker gives HHH two but Undertaker fights up. The comeback is taking too long for him though and he hits Helmsley in the face with the belt for the DQ at 7:18.

Rating: C. This didn’t have time to go anywhere but it was more about saying Undertaker was in the ring for a title match than anything else. There was almost no reason to believe that Undertaker was going to win the Intercontinental Title so having a quick brawl before the DQ ending was fine. If nothing else, ticked off Undertaker is always worth a look.

Post match Undertaker gives him a chokeslam and takes him up the escalator, gives him a Tombstone, and lets him ride down the escalator. I believe this was on the Hidden Gems of the WWE Network.

Pettengill talks to another kid.

Savio Vega vs. Aldo Montoya

Clarence Mason is on commentary again. Montoya starts fast and takes Vega down, leaving him for a needed breather in the corner. Vega fires off some rather loud chops in the corner and then rakes at the face (as much as he can get to with the mask that is), setting up the spinwheel kick in the corner. A delayed suplex sets up some more choking and we cut to Todd Pettengill with a fan who has what looks to be an 80s Vince McMahon action figure.

Montoya fights back as the rest of the Nation comes down the step as we take a break. Back with Vega working on an armbar as the Godwinns are here to even things out a bit. The nerve hold goes on but the other four get in for…well nothing as we take a break. Back with…well something else, as we’ll say this one ended at around 11:00.

Rating: C. This had its moments with Vega getting in some of his stuff but only having so much to work with in Montoya. He just wasn’t that good in the ring and didn’t have much to offer, which made the match more than a little uninteresting. The ending didn’t help either, but at least it sets up something.

Godwinns/Aldo Montoya vs. Nation Of Domination

Joined in progress with Crush planting Montoya, who grabs a quick DDT for a breather as Pettengill talks to two women who get in a fight in the crowd. Crush cuts off the tag attempt and it’s Vega sending Montoya back into the wrong corner. The backbreaker goes on before it’s back to Faarooq, who can’t hit the Dominator.

Instead Crush comes back in to hammer Montoya down in the corner again. The front facelock goes on and Montoya gets the tag to Phineas but the referee doesn’t see it (that always works). Everything breaks down and Phineas chases Mason away, leaving Vega to kick Montoya in the face for the pin at 7:28.

Rating: C-. I’m not sure how much the addition helped here as we had seen the others in action already and the Godwinns never actually got into the six man version. Instead it was the Nation beating the living daylights out of Montoya, or at least doing a rather slow motion version of such a beating. Not much to see here, but it felt like something out of an old school house show so call that a win? Maybe?

Post break Phineas slops Pat Patterson (and his amazing sweater) by mistake.

We look at the escalator Tombstone again.

A member of the Guardian Angels liked the show. And that’s it.

Overall Rating: C. I don’t think there is any secret to the fact that the wrestling isn’t the important part of the show. This was ALL about the atmosphere and that really did work. Above all else, the show felt different than usual and it is great to see that kind of change. I’m not sure if the charm was going to hold up every week, but it worked for a one off.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Smackdown
Date: October 25, 2024
Location: Barclays Center, New York City, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves

We’re just over a week away from Crown Jewel and the big story this week is that Raw World Champion Gunther will be here to confront Smackdown World Champion Coy Rhodes. The problem is they’re going to have to find a way around the low stakes that come with the Crown Jewel Title. Other than that, the Bloodline will likely get its usual focus. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Randy Orton gets this week’s walk through the back to the Gorilla Position…where he stops to talk to HHH in a conversation we can’t hear. With that done, Orton hits the ring and wants to know why he can’t face Kevin Owens. Since Nick Aldis has said it was above his pay grade, he wants HHH out here right now to make the match, because otherwise it feels like HHH is protecting Owens. Cue HHH, who guesses we have to do this. Orton thinks HHH is protecting Owens, but the match isn’t going to happen.

HHH says he’s trying to protect Orton, which gets a gasp from the crowd. Orton drops to a knee next to the ropes before HHH talks about how Owens will turn on anyone at any time. HHH: “You know what that’s like, you do.” But then Owens trusted Orton and Cody Rhodes and HHH is worried. Orton just came back from 18 months away and Orton could put him away permanently.

Orton didn’t want Paul Levesque out here, but rather the guy who broke into Orton’s home with a sledgehammer and threw him through a window. He wants to be allowed to handle this the same way they have for years, right in this ring. The fans are behind it and HHH hopes they know what they’re wanting. HHH makes the match at Crown Jewel. That’s a big time match and they needed to make it feel special.

Long recap of Carmelo Hayes vs. Andrade.

Carmelo Hayes vs. Andrade

It’s the rubber match with the series tied at 3-3 so LA Knight is guest referee. This is also billed as Game 7, which is fine for a sports metaphor but sounds really weird in wrestling. Knight is wearing the US Title as he counts two off Andrade’s early rollup. Back up and Hayes uses Knight as a shield to get in a cheap shot (Knight doesn’t approve) but Andrade sends him out to the floor. The big flip dive over the top takes Hayes out on the floor and we take a break.

Back with Andrade hitting the springboard flipping reverse Spanish Fly, only for Hayes to hit the spinning faceplant for the same. Andrade gets his own rollup but the kickout sends him onto Knight. That means Hayes’ rollup doesn’t get a count so Andrade hits Two Amigos, with the third being reversed into a suplex cutter. Knight doesn’t feel like counting and instead pulls Hayes outside and sends him over the announcers’ table. Both of them get BFT’s and Knight throws it out at 9:46.

Rating: B-. The action was good while it lasted but this was more about setting up the triple threat match which has been the pretty obvious goal for a good while now. That’s not a bad thing, though Knight has been acting rather heelish lately. He certainly isn’t going to turn or do anything insane like that, but there is very little heroic in what he has been doing.

Post match Knight declares himself the winner. Cole and Graves are split on the decision.

Nia Jax is annoyed that Tiffany Stratton was gone last week and has gotten Candice LeRae to take her place. Stratton isn’t pleased.

Nick Aldis yells at LA Knight and makes a triple threat match at Crown Jewel. Aldis didn’t say it was a title match but I’d guess that’s implied.

Naomi vs. Candice LeRae

Indi Hartwell is here with LeRae, who works on the arm to start but Naomi easily powers out. An ax kick gives Naomi two but LeRae is back with a Downward Spiral onto the apron. We take a break and come back with a frustrated LeRae hammering on Naomi and grabbing the neck crank. Naomi fights up and hits a quick hanging faceplant for two, followed by a springboard spinning kick to the face for the same. LeRae’s neckbreaker out of the corner sends Naomi outside, where Hartwell gets in a posting. Cue Bayley to take out Hartwell, leaving Naomi to hit a Bubba Bomb for the pin at 8:54.

Rating: C. They didn’t have much time to do anything here as, again, the match was cut off by the break. Otherwise, this was something of a makeup for last week, as LeRae got the big upset so Naomi needed to get a win back (even if she didn’t get pinned last week). I can go for more of LeRae, but she still doesn’t feel like she is ready to jump up to the next level.

Here is Cody Rhodes for a chat, but Gunther interrupts his entrance. Gunther asks Cody what he wants to talk about, but Cody says it should be obvious. Gunther apologizes for bringing Cody’s daughter into this because that wasn’t necessary. He finds it interesting that Cody keeps trying to do something for someone else. Wrestlemania was about making Dusty Rhodes happy and then he wanted the John Cena schedule to live up to Cena’s reputation.

If you take everything out of this, what does Cody want from this match? Cody says you can’t take the people out of this and he grants them their WHOA, which Gunther cut off. Where was Gunther yesterday and the day before that? Cody was in Las Vegas promoting Wrestlemania while Gunther couldn’t bother getting out of bed.

Gunther says he gets the same requests but has the guts to say no to everyone. On the other hand, Cody has to keep saying yes because if he stops saying yes, his story is over. That makes Cody a gutless champion and secondary to him. Cody says that his career is based on guts, which is what it takes to do this, and the fight is on. Ludwig Kaiser comes in for the brawl but Randy Orton makes the save. This was the best segment in the build to the match yet, but egads it still feels like something we have to get through rather than an interesting match.

We recap the Bloodline beating down Roman Reigns and Jimmy Uso to end last week’s show, then going to Raw to cost Jey Uso the Intercontinental Title.

The three GM’s are in the back to announce that Bianca Belair/Jade Cargill will be defending the Women’s Tag Team Titles in a four way against Chelsea Green/Piper Niven, Meta Four and Damage CTRL at Crown Jewel.

Motor City Machine Guns vs. DIY

For a future Tag Team Title shot and commentary goes over Shelley’s influence on the current generation. Sabin comes in off a blind tag and the Dream Sequence gets two on Ciampa. Gargano comes in for a jawbreaker into a basement dropkick for two and it’s already back to Ciampa. The Guns hit their own Meet In The Middle on the apron but Gargano hits the slingshot spear, meaning it’s the DIY double applause as we take a break.

Back with Sabin fighting out of trouble and a Downward Spiral/missile dropkick combination gets two. Gargano’s rolling kick to the head hits Sabin and there’s a running knee to give Ciampa two of his own. Meet In The Middle is broken up and Gargano superkicks Ciampa by mistake, meaning Skull & Bones can finish Gargano at 11:20.

Rating: B. This is how you build up a team, as the Guns get another win over some former champions in a good match. The Guns have hit the ground running here and it wouldn’t surprise me to see them getting a title shot at Crown Jewel. At the same time, commentary was putting the team over hard, as they were explaining the Guns’ history and telling stories about them. That’s a great bonus and has helped so much.

Post match here is the Bloodline and post break, Solo Sikoa demands acknowledgment. The OTC chants get on Sikoa’s nerves and the Guns introduces themselves. The Guns are ready anyplace anytime, so Sikoa says let’s do it right now. Nick Aldis says no but Shelley says if the Bloodline wants to do it, now, let’s do it.

Tag Team Titles: Bloodline vs. Motor City Machine Guns

The Guns are challenging and knock the champs outside, only for the dives to be cut off as we take a break. Back with the fans wanting Roman (Reigns) and Shelley fighting back. Sikoa gets on the apron but here is Jimmy Uso to cut him off. Jacob Fatu joins Fatu in the beatdown but here is Roman Reigns to help brawl the villains to the back. We’re down to two on two and Sabin dropkicks Tama down, only to walk into a spinebuster. The referee is bumped so the Tongas grab chairs but here is Jey Uso to take Loa out with a superkick and a spear. Skull & Bones gives us new champions at 7:25.

Rating: C+. Remember how I said the previous match is how you make stars? This was the upgraded version, as the Guns don’t just hit the ground running but score another major win in the process. The match was little more than a backdrop for the big fight with the Bloodlines and there is nothing wrong with that. Awesome moment here and the kind of insanity that worked, as the Bloodline was already playing with a big advantage.

Post match the Guns leave and Jimmy comes back. Jey isn’t sure about this but we get the big hug for the reunion to end the show (Guns vs. Usos at say the Rumble works fine for me). This was a huge moment as the road now turns to Survivor Series and WarGames, but the good guys are going to need one more name. Either that’s a random new member of the team, or they might need an Honorary Uce.

Overall Rating: B. This was a show where it felt like they turned on the jets, with a big angle to start, two matches set for Crown Jewel, a title change and the big reunion at the end. That’s a heck of an episode and I was caring about things like I haven’t in a little while. The Guns winning is a great thing to see, but the Usos being back together (for now) is the big step in the main story and that’s the really important part. Pretty strong show this week.

Results
Carmelo Hayes vs. Andrade went to a no contest
Naomi b. Candice LeRae – Bubba Bomb
Motor City Machine Guns b. DIY – Skull & Bones to Gargano
Motor City Machine Guns b. Bloodline – Skull & Bones to Tama

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Unforgiven 1999
Date: September 26, 1999
Location: Charlotte Coliseum, Charlotte, North Carolina
Attendance: 15,779
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

After going through a bunch of television with all of the fast matches that rarely have a chance to make an impact, it’s going to be a bit weird to see things getting time. The main event is a Six Pack Challenge with a bunch of main eventers and the British Bulldog fighting for the WWF Title, with Steve Austin as guest referee. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about how it all comes to tonight as everyone wanted to avoid being unforgiven.

The referees are still on strike so we have scab referees for the show.

Val Venis vs. Steve Blackman

Venis brings the bag of weapons with him, having recently stolen them. Blackman strikes away to start but Venis kicks him into the corner and gets in some choking. A missed elbow lets Blackman knock him to the floor, with a suplex bringing Venis back in. They’re already back on the floor with Venis being sent into the steps as commentary talks about the main event.

Back in and Blackman whips him hard into the corner and we hit the chinlock. That doesn’t last long as Venis fights up with some elbows. Lawler: “Starting to rise. To the occasion.” JR: “He’s done that for money.” Back up and Blackman’s crossbody is rolled through for two, with referee Steve Lombardi counting at the feet. Venis knocks him down again and hits the Money Shot for the clean pin.

Rating: C. This wasn’t worth much of a watch and I’m not sure why they thought it was a feud that needed to have a pay per view match. The whole deal is that Val isn’t overly serious while Blackman is ultra series and….conflict? Just nothing to see but a long TV match and not exactly interesting.

Post match Venis grabs a kendo stick but Blackman takes it away and knocks him cold. Cue the medics, with Blackman yelling at a female nurse. The male security guard tackles Blackman, who leaves rather quickly.

Big Show says he has a killer instinct and will win the title.

We recap Mark Henry defending the European Title against D’Lo Brown. Henry was overweight and Brown tried to get him in better shape. Henry would rather have women and food though, along with the belt. Now Brown wants revenge and the title as well.

Mark Henry hits on Lilian Garcia and gets slapped in the face.

European Title: Mark Henry vs. D’Lo Brown

Henry is defending….in theory, as he says there isn’t going to be a title match tonight. After sending his two women to start the car, Henry says he has a “brainerism” after that slap. Maybe we can do this tomorrow on Raw, but cue Brown to interrupt. They start brawling on the floor and head inside, where the bell rings to officially get things going.

Brown manages a rather impressive Sky High for two, followed by a legdrop for the same. Henry misses a running charge at the ropes and takes a kind of scary crash out to the floor. The big no hands dive (that looked nice) takes Henry down again and a high crossbody gets two back inside.

A big clothesline drops Brown and we hit the chinlock. That’s broken up and Brown comes back with a crossbody before countering another into a slam (I wonder if the first wasn’t as planned.). The big leg gives Henry two but Brown slips through his legs and grabs a hurricanrana for a double knockdown. Back up and Henry hammers away in the corner, only to get powerbombed down. The Low Down gives Brown the pin and the title.

Rating: C-. Oh this wasn’t working and that was very clear. Henry looked awkward and unsure of himself, along with just slow. Brown was doing what he could and was trying but he could only do so much on his own. Bad match, and while Henry is good in segments, the matches aren’t working.

The Acolytes are ready for the Dudley Boyz and just because one of them is white and one of them is Black, that’s where the similarities end. We pause this to see some people beating up Chaz and throwing him out of the locker room. Why was Chaz here if he doesn’t have a match?

Debra isn’t happy with Jeff Jarrett for putting her in the Figure Four but Jarrett doesn’t want to hear it, grabs Miss Kitty and leaves.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Chyna

Jarrett, with Miss Kitty, is defending and is convinced that no woman could ever beat a man. He’s also gone rather nuts and attacked the legs of various women with the Figure Four. Jarrett starts fast but misses a running crotch attack on the ropes. A hard clothesline puts Jarrett down and another one knocks him out to the floor. Jarrett pulls the legs out though and crotches her against the post, with the pain surprising Lawler.

Commentary talks about the women Jarrett has hurt, which has Lawler chuckling, as Jarrett gets two off a high crossbody. A nice dropkick hits Chyna and a superplex into a not great small package gets two. Jarrett hits a DDT onto the arm so he goes up top, only to get electric chaired down. Moolah and Mae Young are worried in the front row as Chyna fights out of a sleeper and grabs a suplex (better than Jarrett’s normal sleeper sequence) to leave them down again.

A powerslam and powerbomb give Jarrett two but he’s back with a powerbomb of his own. They go outside where Chyna hits him with a chair, with Lawler losing his mind over how that isn’t a DQ. Back in and the Pedigree is countered into a catapult to crush referee Harvey Wippleman. The guitar is thrown in….so Moolah and Mae Young run in to beat the fire out of Jarrett, including a double slam.

The crowd goes NUTS, only to be cut off as Jarrett hits a double clothesline. Jarrett loads up the Figure Four but here is Debra with a heck of a guitar shot to knock him cold. Chyna gets the pin and the title….but head scab referee Tom Prichard comes in to reverse the decision.

Rating: C. They were trying here and Jarrett was able to carry Chyna to something watchable enough. It’s pretty clear that the big blowoff is still coming with Jarrett getting what is coming to him, so hopefully they can do a bit better than this one in the rematch. That being said, the highlight here was definitely Moolah and Mae, as they beat the fire out of Jarrett for a bit and made it work. It worked and was hilarious at the same time, which is hard to do.

Post match Chyna Pedigrees Prichard to blow off some steam.

Steve Austin promises a new WWF Champion tonight.

Acolytes vs. Dudley Boyz

It’s a brawl to start as Jimmy Korderas has crossed the picket line so we have a regular referee. D-Von gets knocked down on the floor, leaving Bubba to get caught with a double flapjack. A superplex gives Bradshaw two as Lawler makes a bunch of jokes about Moolah and Mae Young. Bubba is knocked outside and whipped hard into the steps but he’s back in with a belly to belly.

It’s back to D-Von for a running neckbreaker but the fall away slam sends him flying. Faarooq can’t hit the Dominator so it’s back to Bradshaw, who gets caught in the reverse 3D for another near fall. D-Von hits his top rope headbutt, only for Bradshaw to pop up and catch him on top with a belly to back superplex (and a nice one at that). A quick 3D connects…but Stevie Richards comes in dressed as an Acolyte (with the UPN logo on his chest) to superkick D-Von for the pin.

Rating: C+. Not a bad power tag match as the Acolytes could still go well enough. I’m not sure about beating the hot new team in the Dudleys but at least there was some interference. The Dudleys are still trying to find their groove around here, but the 3D is such an awesome finisher that they’re already off to a good start.

Post match the Acolytes beat Richards down.

Women’s Title: Luna vs. Ivory

Ivory is defending in a Hardcore match and they start fighting in the back. Luna throws a TV at Ivory, makes photocopies of her face, and throws a phone at her before sending her into some walls. Ivory is back with a toss into a trashcan for…well no count as her shoulders aren’t down, but if falls count anywhere, shouldn’t they count in a place with her shoulders not down?

I guess a fall has to include shoulders down to be counted as a fall, but the technical aspect is broken up by Luna splashing her off a forklift for two. Cue Tori to take a swing at Ivory but she gets knocked into an anvil case. Ivory hits Luna with a pole for the pin to retain. Tori added nothing here.

Rating: C-. Well, Ivory gets to retain and Tori was kind of there as well, but this was little more than a segment described as a match. They were doing the usual hardcore stuff but backstage, which doesn’t leave them with much to do. Rather dull again, which is rapidly becoming the norm with these hardcore based match.

Moolah and Mae Young want Jeff Jarrett to stay out of their business but Ivory runs in to say stay out of her business. That earns Ivory another beating.

Tag Team Titles: Edge and Christian vs. New Age Outlaws

The Outlaws are defending. Gunn powers Edge into the corner to start but Edge is back out with a takedown into a headlock. Dogg comes in for a headlock of his own but Christian comes in off a blind tag for a dropkick. That doesn’t last long as it’s Gunn coming in for some ax handles to the back, plus a gorilla press onto Dogg’s knee for a near fall. Christian gets up and hands it back to Edge, who gets punched in the face a few times.

The slow pace continues with Dogg being knocked outside and sent into the steps to put the Canadians in control for the first time. The chinlock goes on before Dogg and Christian hit stereo crossbodies. Dogg still can’t get over to Gunn so we’ll go with some stomping in the corner instead. A side slam/layout reverse DDT combination gives Christian two as JR is getting into Edge and Christian’s rapid tagging.

Dogg finally manages a double DDT and everyone but Gunn is down. The diving tag brings Gunn in to clean house with a powerslam getting two on Christian. The reverse layout DDT gets Christian out o trouble but cue Gangrel and Matt Hardy to pull Christian to the floor. Jeff Hardy adds a dropkick to Edge and the Fameasser retains the titles.

Rating: B. I wouldn’t have expected this to be the match of the night so far but they pulled it off here. The Outlaws weren’t known as being the most polished team ever but they worked really well together and that was on display here. The same was true of Edge and Christian, who were pretty clearly wanting to work hard in a big spot, which was pretty much the norm for them.

HHH and British Bulldog won’t say if they’re together or not but they’ll do what it takes to win tonight.

Big Boss Man doesn’t regret anything he’s done to Al Snow because he’s used to dealing with people inside a cage, dogs or not.

The Cell is lowered and the cage is built.

Al Snow is going to beat up the Big Boss Man for Pepper’s memory.

Hardcore Title: Al Snow vs. Big Boss Man

Snow is defending and this is the Kennel From Hell match, meaning there’s a regular cage and the Cell around it, with rottweilers in between the two cages. It’s the old story: Boss Man wanted to be Hardcore Champion and cooked Snow’s dog and fed it to him as a result. There are no dogs to start (uh oh) and only Snow is in the cage. That leaves Boss Man between the cage and the Cell as the dogs come out.

We’re nearly two minutes in as the dogs are finally brought inside, where one of them immediately relieves himself. Boss Man climbs the cage but Snow hits it with a shovel to avoid getting inside. The dogs start arguing with each other as Snow drops to the floor, where he climbs the Cell despite the dogs not chasing him.

Snow manages to get onto the regular cage wall but Boss Man catches him on top for a superplex inside, meaning they’re both inside the ring for the first time about three and a half minutes in. The dogs keep barking at each other as Boss Man sends Snow into the cage. The slow beating continues, with Boss Man hitting him in the head with a cookie sheet a few times.

With Snow down (and bleeding), Boss Man grabs a pair of pliers to try and cut open the top. The dogs have at least stopped barking as Boss man has ripped open part of the Cell’s roof. A low blow brings Boss Man back down but he drops Snow with a shot to the face. It’s time for powder, which is knocked into the Boss Man’s eyes, as the dogs have been forgotten or the time being. Snow hits him in the head to bust Boss Man open as well and there’s a shovel shot to his back.

The dogs are looking at each other as Snow starts to unhook a turnbuckle. Snow can’t get one of the dogs to bite Boss Man’s arm so Boss Man hits Snow in the head with a nasty shovel shot (JR: “OH MAN! Ok that’ll be enough.”). Boss Man cuffs Snow to the turnbuckle as JR explains that you have to escape to win.

If that was mentioned before, it wasn’t exactly emphasized. Snow breaks the cuffs to escape and catches Boss Man trying to go through the ceiling. The dogs have been a complete non-factor and barely seen for about seven minutes now so Snow hits Boss Man with Head. Snow goes outside, climbs the Cell, and kicks the door open to retain as Boss Man gets out through the roof.

Rating: F. What in the world is there to say here? There are bad matches where you can see some kind of an idea that might have worked if something went well, but that was in no way shape or form the case here. I have no idea how this got green lit to be on the show, but it wasn’t exactly wrestling, it wasn’t exactly a hardcore match, it wasn’t exactly a cage match and it wasn’t exactly a Cell match.

The dogs were a total non factor and that isn’t a surprise as they aren’t likely trained television performers, so there was only so much they could do. This is just such a chase of wondering how no one stopped this in the setup process, as multiple people were apparently convinced this was a good idea. Absolutely all time awful match (a word I use loosely), but above all else I’m more interested in how we got here, because it should never have happened.

Mankind is going into the main event but is ready to take out the Rock if necessary.

Chris Jericho vs. X-Pac

This was added on Heat (as Ken Shamrock is gone) and Curtis Hughes is here with Jericho. The cage is still being taken down as Jericho makes his entrance so we get a lot of vamping. Before the match, Jericho says he’s here to save Charlotte and this boring, brutal pay per view by giving everyone what they really wanted to see: him! We actually get to the match and they go technical to start with neither getting very far.

Back up and X-Pac scores with some kicks so Jericho fires off the chops. The big kick misses for X-Pac and Jericho drops him with a clothesline. A missed charge lets X-Pac kick him down in the corner but X-Pac has to put the brakes on with the Bronco Buster. Jericho is knocked outside, where X-Pac’s big dive mostly hits the floor for the nasty crash. Back in and Jericho hits a nice missile dropkick, setting up the double arm crank.

That’s broken up so Jericho goes with a backbreaker to put him down again. The fans get distracted by something in the crowd as Jericho hits a slingshot splash for two (that one didn’t stick) and we hit the chinlock as the crowd calms down. Jericho hits the Lionsault and hammers away as the fans are STILL distracted (Geez how drunk was that fan?). The triangle dropkick sends X-Pac outside where Hughes gets in a cheap shot, as any good bodyguard should.

Back in and one heck of a spinwheel kick gives X-Pac a breather, allowing him to dive onto Hughes. Jericho gets dropped for two but manages a low blow to cut off the Bronco Buster. They go up top with X-Pac hitting a superplex for two, only to get caught with the double powerbomb for a rather delayed two. Jericho goes up but gets pulled down but this time X-Pac ties him in the Tree Of Woe for the Bronco Buster. That’s enough for Jericho as he decks the referee for the DQ.

Rating: B-. For a thrown together match, this could have been much worse, with the crowd distraction causing a big problem. They were able to stall long enough to avoid things getting out of hand and that’s a sign of people who know what they’re doing. I can get why X-Pac didn’t lose clean here, though Jericho absolutely feels like one of the hottest things in the company and a win would have suited everything a bit better.

Post match the double beating is on but Road Dogg runs in for the save.

We recap the Six Pack Challenge and here’s the short version: Mankind wins title, HHH wins title, everyone hates HHH, Vince wins title, Vince vacates title, HHH runs gimmick gauntlet, multiple gimmicks wasted in one night, six people fight for the title, British Bulldog doesn’t belong here.

WWF Title: HHH vs. Kane vs. Big Show vs. Mankind vs. The Rock vs. British Bulldog

For the vacant title, one fall to a finish, Kane has the awesome inverted gear, HHH is here with Chyna, and Steve Austin is the outside referee. Austin actually sits in on commentary and thankfully we have tags, meaning Rock and Bulldog start things off. Rock hammers him down into the corner but Bulldog gets in a quick shot, allowing HHH to come in and beat Rock down on the ropes.

A hot shot gets Rock out of trouble for two and it’s off to Kane, who misses an elbow as commentary argues over whether Jimmy Korderas is a scab referee. Show shoves Kane off the top as Austin says he doesn’t quite understand the concept here, despite it not being that complicated. Kane comes back in to drop Mankind with a clothesline but Mankind hits some running kicks, allowing Austin to make some dropkick jokes.

It’s back to Show, who gets enziguried out to the floor but he’s back in to superkick Kane. The rapid fire changes continue as Bulldog hits Rock low, which Austin says he can appreciate. The non-delayed suplex puts Rock down and it’s off to Mankind, who immediately tags out to Kane. Mankind comes right back in for a Texas piledriver to Kane for two but HHH comes in. That’s fine with Mankind, who sends him out into the steps and everything breaks down, with all six brawling up the aisle.

Mankind hits another Texas piledriver and sends HHH into the steps but Bulldog is right on him back inside. Kane beats on Rock on the floor as we settle down to Mankind stomping Bulldog in the corner. Mankind tags Rock in, with both JR and Austin not getting the thinking. Show comes in to kick Kane down and here are the rest of the referees to yell at Jimmy Korderas.

It’s back to Mankind as Austin has to get the other two commentators back on the match. The big elbow gives Show two, with Rock making the save. HHH and Rock fight to the floor with Rock stealing Austin’s beer for a drink. Back in and Kane Tombstones Mankind but Show tags himself in, only to get hit with the top rope clothesline. Bulldog powerslams Kane but gets Pedigreed for his efforts. Rock takes out HHH but gets DDTed by Mankind, setting up the Mandible Claw (Austin: “I LOVE IT! I LOVE IT!”).

The Mandible Claw is reversed into the Rock Bottom for two with HHH making the save this time. Show comes in to clean house and hits the chokeslam on Mankind but the other referees pull Korderas out and beat him up for crossing the picket lines. Austin beats up the referees and comes back in to count Rock’s two on HHH, with the fans going nuts. The Rock Bottom hits HHH but Show pulls Austin out. Back in and Bulldog chairs Rock into the Pedigree before Austin chairs Bulldog. Austin has to count the pin to make HHH the champion.

Rating: B. It was a fun match and the referee thing (as unnecessary as it was) did tie into the ending, with Austin already being set up as the first challenger, but there was just so much going on here. That’s a problem with just about everything going on in the company at the moment and the main event was no exception. Thank goodness for the tags here as it could have been even worse. Things also took their time to get going, but the ending was rather good with all of the big stars going nuts until the finish. Just calm down a bit more and let some things breathe.

Post match HHH yells at Austin, who lays him out with a Stunner to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. The main event and the Tag Team Title match are good, but they’re not enough to carry a weak undercard and an all time mess of a Kennel match. The problem with having so many of the big stars in one match was clear here, as it didn’t leave much else for everyone to do. There are worse shows out there, but this was not a good one and is absolutely not worth a look, even with a few nice matches.

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