Smackdown
Date: April 18, 2002
Location: Compaq Center, Houston, Texas
Commentators: Tazz, Michael Cole

It’s the go home show for Backlash and since this is Smackdown, we have a tag team main event which doesn’t have a lot to do with the pay per view. In this case it’s HHH/Hulk Hogan vs. Chris Jericho/Kurt Angle as Jericho doesn’t actually have a match on Sunday. Then again I’m not sure who he could fight save for Rock, who wasn’t around last week and probably won’t be again this week. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Billy and Chuck/Albert vs. Maven/Al Snow/Rikishi

Chuck punches Snow in the face to start in what is probably his best offensive move. Something close to a low blow has Chuck in trouble so it’s off to Maven for his really bad offense. We hit the armbar on Chuck as Tazz argues that he was Maven’s real trainer. I’d be careful bragging about that buddy. Albert comes in and throws Al around but Snow finds a way around Billy’s amazing offense and brings in Rikishi, who is suddenly an offensive juggernaut.

Rico comes in and is almost caught in a Stinkface (along with Chuck) but Albert makes the save. We get the big slam spot that isn’t as impressive as WWE would like us to be. The hot tag gives us Maven for some reason as everything breaks down. Rico kicks Snow down but Maven comes off the top with a high cross body for the pin on Chuck to set up Sunday’s title match.

Rating: C+. I think we’ve found the winner for biggest surprise of the night as this was actually good. Maven is still hard to take seriously with his dropkick and crossbody offense but giving him the pin was the best idea after Snow won last week. Albert vs. Rikishi is just a thing that exists but I’ve seen worse. Nice choice for an opener here.

Stacy Keibler, looking very good in blue, bends over just as Hulk Hogan opens his door. Vince wants to see Hogan right now so Hulk follows her with his eyes clearly panning down.

Kidman and Hurricane make fun of Planet Stasiak but Kidman says no one knows who he is. Hurricane has an idea: CHEAP POPS! So now the writers are making fun of the fact that no one cares about the Cruiserweight Title? I mean, no one does but still.

Hogan comes in to see Vince but Stacy finds Hulk a bit too attractive and gets sent away. Vince thinks he’s experienced this feeling of fan support for Hogan before. Back in 1984, nothing could stop this kind of momentum but it’s not going to be enough on Sunday. Naturally this takes WAY longer than it should.

Chavo Guerrero Jr./Tajiri vs. Kidman/Hurricane

Kidman armdrags Chavo to dead silence to get us going. A headscissors and dropkick do a bit better but it’s off to Hurricane and you can hear the crowd wake up. Tajiri walks into a headlock before hitting a perfect looking superkick to drop Hurricane. The announcers completely ignore the match to talk about Vince and Hogan’s issues despite Vince having very little to do with Hogan at the moment.

Kidman takes a quick beating before it’s back to Hurricane for a jumping clothesline. Everything breaks down and Chavo sends Hurricane to the floor, only to have Tajiri come back in with a high crossbody for two. Tazz: “What is going on in this match?” It’s almost like he doesn’t pay attention. A big kick to the head gives Tajiri the pin on Hurricane.

Rating: B-. If there’s one thing that drives me crazier than the announcers not paying attention, it’s the announcers acknowledging that they’re not paying attention. It’s a nothing match but I miss the days of Gorilla Monsoon and Jesse Ventura where the match going on in front of them was the most important thing in the world. You can plug other stuff but don’t laugh off the fact that you have no idea what’s going on in front of you.

Post match Tajiri kicks Kidman in the head and yells at Torrie in Japanese.

We look back at Test trying to hurt Mark Henry during last week’s feat of strength.

Here’s Mark to lift a car off the ground. Wrestlers take bets and Test doesn’t buy that this is real. He can’t lift it but Mark can, only to have Test cheat on the bets and beat Faarooq up.

Hulk Hogan comes out to talk about how people think he’s crazy for trying this one more time. He believes that he can do it one more time because, as Vince says, perception is reality. Hogan used to take the title for granted and now he wants to just be champion one more time. We get the big Hulking Up line but here’s Chris Jericho to interrupt.

Jericho goes on for a LONG time about how old Hogan is and about how HHH stole the title from him. Ever since he got back, Hogan has only had one singles match and he lost. True actually but ignore that part of course. Hogan finally tells him to shut up and come fight so here’s Kurt Angle to help him out. Edge comes out for the save to finally end this.

Here’s the problem: the fans absolutely love to cheer Hogan’s comeback and old nostalgia stuff because Hogan can still do it well enough to make the schtick work. The problem is that only works during the matches. In between them, Hogan has almost nothing to talk about other than how he wants to be a star one more time. That lost its steam about two days after Wrestlemania and it’s getting close to impossible to sit through, especially when he talks for ten minutes a week.

Vince throws Edge out but Edge things it’s Vince being afraid of what’s going to happen to Angle on Sunday. Edge leaves and Stacy comes up to offer her, ahem, services to calm Vince down. Vince wants HHH instead.

Test vs. Faarooq

Faarooq goes right after him but makes the mistake of sliding in, allowing Test to take over. Faarooq’s comeback goes nowhere and Test rolls him up with his feet on the ropes for two. The pumphandle slam doesn’t work so Faarooq avoids a charge and grabs a rollup with his feet on the ropes for the pin.

Test kicks Faarooq in the face.

Stacy goes to get HHH but is distracted when he takes off the shirt. She finally gets the line out but HHH says she can’t make him come just by telling him to.

Hardcore Holly wants to beat Page up because he likes destroying positivity. Page comes in and smiles but says the anger is ticking him off.

HHH comes in to see Vince so Stacy is quickly sent out. Vince asks if HHH is ready to “dampen the fires of the greatest fire in sports entertainment.” If HHH loses, he’s on Smackdown. Now THAT’S a punishment.

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Hardcore Holly

Page starts fast with a clothesline and neckbreaker before hammering away in the corner. Holly gets in a hard clothesline of his own, only to get crotched on top. A superplex brings them down but Page lands on his head, injuring his neck in the process. Thankfully Page is able to walk and tries the Diamond Cutter but Holly shoves him away and hits the dropkick for the pin. According to Holly’s book, the ending was originally going to be the Alabama Slam but Page asked for it to be changed due to Page having some injuries. For some reason this was considered rude and Holly was punished as a result.

Page has to fight Holly off and gets in a quick Diamond Cutter. That’s it for Page in the WWF and really it’s for the best. Page never quite fit in the WWF but that’s to be expected when a lot of his WCW appeal came from fans watching him rise up the card. That and signing at 45 years old. He had a nice little run though and that’s more than a lot of people get.

Angle and Jericho are in the back and Kurt gets annoyed at Jericho saying Angle would suck the life out of Hogan. Kurt is so mad that he keeps leaving and coming back to yell more.

Here’s Reverend D-Von to say Vince is a prophet and go on like your standard enthusiastic preacher. He even takes up a collection and the fans give him a nice wad of cash.

Chris Jericho/Kurt Angle vs. HHH/Hulk Hogan

HHH and Angle start with the champ hammering away, just in case you didn’t realize HHH is better than Kurt. That doesn’t go anywhere so it’s off to Hogan for a change. Jericho comes in and tries a posedown before Angle comes in for the double teaming. Two simple villains are no match for Hogan of course so it’s HHH coming in to help stomp Jericho in the corner.

A catapult sends Jericho into Angle and a spinebuster gets two. For some reason the good guys get in an argument, allowing Jericho to hit HHH low and finally take over. We hit the sleeper because that’s going to get the fans to care. As usual, Hogan is awesome at playing cheerleader on the apron, which really is something so many people miss. Watch someone like Hogan or Cena when they’re on the apron in a tag match. They’re almost always doing something, even if it’s just slapping the turnbuckle. The energy helps a match so much.

Angle misses a charge into the post and the tag brings in Hogan for the 1986 offense. Jericho breaks up the legdrop and grabs a chair but stops to throw the referee out. HHH gets up but Jericho breaks up a Pedigree. Dang Kurt is going to owe him forever now. Hogan comes back and takes the chair away, setting up the chair shot to HHH’s head that everyone saw coming. Edge comes in to save Hogan (again) and the match is a no contest.

Rating: D+. Just angle advancement here and that’s fine. I still have no idea why Jericho doesn’t have a match on the pay per view when he’s in such a featured role on this show. Hogan vs. HHH can’t end fast enough and these matches aren’t making me want to see them fight on Sunday. The wrestling, which means HHH and Hogan making it clear that they’re miles ahead of their opponents, was watchable enough if you can ignore the boring stories.

Edge fights Jericho and Angle off, leaving HHH to chair Hogan to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. I know the show wasn’t great but this was so far and away better than Raw. Maybe it’s the younger talent around here or maybe it’s the lack of thirty second matches but this is easily more entertaining. There’s still a lot of bad stuff here though as they need to get rid of Hogan as fast as they can. It’s really not working at the moment and that’s only going to get worse as time goes on. This was a completely watchable show though and that puts it leaps and bounds above Raw.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: April 15, 2002
Location: Reed Arena, College Station, Texas
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the final show before Backlash and the big Raw main event is the fresh matchup of Undertaker vs. Steve Austin for a title shot at the next pay per view. Raw has been dying in its first few shows and I don’t see that getting any better for a long time. They really need to figure out something with this Brand Split in a hurry because it’s getting bad quickly. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Here’s a slightly disheveled Ric Flair for the weekly chat to open things up. There’s a lot of great talent backstage and he doesn’t want to waste any time in getting them out here. I’m sure that’s going to be the case of course. First though, Flair wants to talk about Steve Austin being anti-authority. The difference between Flair and Vince McMahon is that he has no interest in going to war with Austin. Flair likes Austin and made sure to put Austin in the #1 contenders match at Backlash.

We see the ending of last week’s show with Flair running out to help out Austin against the NWO, only to get Stunned for his efforts. If he’s such a big Austin fan, he really should have seen that coming. Cue Austin but Flair cuts him off on his way to the second rope. Oh jeez he’s in trouble. Flair isn’t going to suspend him for what happened last week but he’s going to fine Austin $5000. Austin does the WHAT treatment to ask who he was supposed to face last week because he thought it was Scott Hall but saw Ric Flair out there instead. He didn’t cry for help, send a smoke signal or FedEx Flair because Flair isn’t Lassie or Superman.

Austin promises to win at Backlash but here’s Undertaker to interrupt. Undertaker very slowly says he’ll win and talks about how important it is to win because the Brand Split is making it harder to get title shots. He’s ready to outwrestle, outfight or outcheat Austin but he knows Austin needs Flair’s help. Both guys threaten to beat Flair up if he interferes so Flair makes himself special referee. Somehow we’re STILL not done though as here’s the NWO (just Hall and X-Pac these days) with something to say.

Hall runs down Texas and Bradshaw in particular so Austin is willing to fight him tonight. Flair says no so here’s Bradshaw and the fight is on. The good guys clear the ring but Flair is knocked down, likely setting up a six man later. Somehow it took twenty minutes to establish that Austin doesn’t like authority and that Flair is guest referee on Sunday. It doesn’t help that Austin and Undertaker are on pure fumes and neither are interesting save for nostalgia for about two years ago.

Post break a livid Flair makes Austin/Bradshaw vs. the NWO/Undertaker in an anything goes match.

Hardcore Title: Bubba Ray Dudley vs. Raven

Dudley is defending and throws out a bunch of Raven’s weapons. They trade metal shots with Raven taking over as the announcers talk about how wild the weekend was for the title. By that they mean three straight shows with four title changes each. I can actually buy that for a house show as they’re probably fun for the crowd but seeing it every single week gets tiresome. Bubba takes over with a flapjack and tells himself to get the table, only to have Raven grab the DDT for two but the referee says it’s a pin anyway.

Tommy Dreamer comes out and wins the title. Then Steven Richards comes out to win the title. Then Bubba wins it back. Those four title changes took place over the course of 46 seconds.

Shawn Stasiak is back on Raw and has volunteered to face Big Show. He’s not a maniac because his psychiatrist is a quack who wanted him on some Prozac so sit back and enjoy the attack. That was more energy than I’ve ever seen him show.

Big Show vs. Shawn Stasiak

Shawn works on the leg for a bit but gets clotheslined and chokeslammed for the pin in less than a minute and a half. Eh every show needs jobbers.

We recap Eddie Guerrero returning and going after Rob Van Dam.

Eddie says he’s mad at Van Dam for stealing the frog splash. I’ve heard far worse motivations. There’s a tag match with the midcard champions against their challengers for an old but good idea.

Booker T. is ticked off at Goldust for costing him the Hardcore Title last week but tonight Flair has teamed them up. Goldust thinks they could be a bright star but Booker wants the freak to get away from him. Together they could make more money than Lethal Weapon. You know it’s serious when they invoke Steve Blackman. Booker: “I’m getting too old for this stuff.”

Debra is getting coffee when Undertaker startles her, sending the coffee onto Undertaker. Seething ensues.

Crash vs. Jacqueline

Rematch from last night on Heat where Crash cheated to win but Jackie is FROM TEXAS and won’t stand for that. A missile dropkick and a sunset flip finish Crash in thirty seconds. Yeah yeah she’s tough and she’s from Texas. I care so much.

Now we look back at Spike Dudley beating William Regal for the European Title in about three seconds. I really wouldn’t highlight the fact that there have been a match last week and another from this week combined to go 35 seconds.

Regal yells at Coach for bringing up Mr. McMahon’s club and promises to break open Coach’s skull for mentioning the title loss. I can always go for psycho Regal.

Rob Van Dam/Spike Dudley vs. William Regal/Eddie Guerrero

Regal jumps Spike to start but gets Van Dam to really get things going instead. It’s quickly off to Spike as Lawler jokes about Spike’s weight. A nasty looking half nelson suplex stuns Spike and the bad guys take turns stomping on him. I’m not as big on Spike as most people but he looks like he’s dying out there most of the time. A crossbody looks to set up the Dudley Dog on Regal but Eddie makes a save.

That’s fine with Spike who takes Eddie down with a hurricanrana, allowing the hot tag off to Van Dam. Rob starts cleaning house with the usual until Eddie gets in a neckbreaker. Everything breaks down and Eddie hits a brainbuster on Spike, followed by the frog splash for the pin.

Rating: C. Spike losing actually makes sense here as he cheated to win the title and was beaten down for most of the match (as in less than three minutes) so the loss isn’t exactly shocking. Van Dam vs. Guerrero is the best feud on the show at the moment and thankfully the match will be one of the better ones on Sunday so it balances out well enough. I’m always a fan of putting two feuds into one match for a fast build so this worked well.

Trish is ready to beat Molly up tonight and then take the Women’s Title on Sunday. Molly comes in and offers two pictures: one of Trish on the cover of the Divas swimsuit magazine (bikini) and one of herself in a one piece swimsuit with angel’s wings. Molly assumes that most students at the university have her picture on their dorm room wall. Trish says tonight she’ll leave Molly in a position she’s not familiar with: flat on her back.

How in the world is Trish not the heel here? If you’re going to go with this angle, Molly should be in the kind of attire Ivory wore in the Right to Censor. The picture is of a good looking woman in a swimsuit and for some reason it’s supposed to be something almost no one would be interested in looking at. Trish’s line at the end made it even worse as, again, she implies that men wouldn’t be interested in Molly for whatever reason they have to hate her this week. I know Molly is the heel and should be based on the initial attack on Trish but ever since then she’s been completely realistic and hasn’t done a thing wrong.

Lawler freaks out at Molly saying she was wholesome, meaning she’s a virgin. Again, that’s considered something horrible because WWF is run by a bunch of 14 year olds.

Molly Holly vs. Trish Stratus

Molly takes her down to start and works on the arm as the idiot fans chant SHE’S A VIRGIN. Trish comes back so Molly bails outside (Lawler: “Don’t come so close to me Molly. I might convert you.” Did Lawler just imply he would rape Molly if she came closer to him?), only to beat Trish down again back inside. A backbreaker gets two on Trish but the Molly Go Round misses. There’s a high kick from Trish and she rolls Molly up with a handful of tights for the pin. Your hero!

Rating: C-. The match was fine but this story is nauseating. They’re actively making fun of Molly for a personal choice that a lot of people make and is no one else’s business. I heard the same insult a lot growing up and then I turned about 14 so my friends grew up a little bit. Somehow that’s not the case here and it’s really pathetic. I’m sure parents had a blast explaining this one to their kids and were thrilled that the WWF was presenting this as a bad thing.

Bradshaw talks about Hall’s testicular fortitude and sucks up to the Texas fans.

The NWO is going to focus on Bradshaw tonight.

Paul Heyman steals a pair of Lita’s underwear (she had at least a dozen in her bag) and offers to give Matt Hardy some leniency against Brock Lesnar on Sunday in exchange for sex. The ensuing slap would make Stephanie proud.

Hardy Boyz vs. Booker T./Goldust

Goldust and Booker jump them to start and the brothers are in early trouble. Matt gets in a clothesline and makes the hot tag (about a minute in) so Jeff can clean house. Poetry in Motion hits Goldust but here’s Heyman with Lita’s underwear to distract Lita. Matt gives chase and Booker kicks Jeff down so Goldust can get the easy pin.

Heyman has Lita’s bag of underwear and throws them around. Matt goes after him but runs into Brock. Figure the rest out for yourself.

JR brings out HHH for a chat about his match with Hogan, which has nothing to do with this show. Both he and Hogan have made a lot of mistakes in this rivalry (What rivalry? You had a match announced less than two weeks ago and you’ve punched each other a few times.) but Hogan made it worse by dropping the big leg. JR asks about what another big leg on Sunday would mean because Hulkamania is running wild. The question is whatcha gonna do. Well HHH isn’t going to make any mistakes and he’s going to retain the title. He doesn’t care if he faces Austin or Undertaker next either. More filler on a show full of it.

Steve Austin/Bradshaw vs. NWO/Undertaker

X-Pac has Kane’s mask. It’s a brawl to start (duh) until we settle down to Undertaker vs. Austin. An early Thesz press looks to set up a slightly less early Stunner but Undertaker bails. That earns him a double middle finger so it’s off to X-Pac instead. Some spinebusters put the NWO down and it’s off to Bradshaw for more Texas brawling. Bradshaw gets two off some suplexes and it’s back to Austin as this is one sided so far.

Finally realizing that the NWO is worthless, Undertaker hits Austin in the back of the head to take over. The NWO takes turns slowly beating on Austin, who comes back with the worst punches I’ve ever seen him throw. The double clothesline drops Austin and Hall so JR mentions kissing your sister. Bradshaw comes in to clean house with the Clothesline, including a big one for the pin on X-Pac.

Rating: D. Bradshaw was the best thing about this match as he was the only one who seemed like he was excited to be out there. Undertaker and Austin are sleepwalking through every match and the NWO is making the Corre look like the Horsemen. This main event scene is dying for a freshening up and we’re less than a month into the new era. That can’t be a good sign.

A big brawl and a chair to Austin’s head end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Somehow that’s an upgrade over last week’s mess. I don’t know how many times I’ve said it already but the main event scene is such a mess with two guys who wrestle like they’re about 476 years old and are fighting over who might get to fight Hulk Hogan next month. At this point even Hogan vs. Austin doesn’t sound like the most interesting thing in the world.

Other than that though, let’s look at some of the stuff we had here. Big Show beats Stasiak in about a minute. His match on Sunday? A two minute squash of Stevie Richards on Heat. You remember Richards. He’s one of the guys who won the Hardcore Title tonight. On the same show you have VIRGINS ARE BAD and Jackie proving that Texas is amazing before the main event that also proved that Texas is amazing. The only good stuff here is Brock smashing anything in his path and a match over who uses a splash better. Smackdown is nothing great at the moment but you can see an idea over there and it makes a world of difference.

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Cruiserweight Classic
Date: September 14, 2016
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Daniel Bryan, Mauro Ranallo

It’s already the grand finale as we’re live tonight for two hours. We have three tournament matches to go tonight and at least one other as Johnny Gargano/Tommaso Ciampa vs. two cruiserweights to be named tonight. There’s always the chance that they’ll add in another match, as well as the potential of something involving the Cruiserweight Title. Let’s get to it.

We open with a look back at the tournament, narrated by HHH.

Opening sequence.

The announcers talk about the show a bit.

Preview of the first semifinal match.

Video on all four semifinalists.

Semifinals: Gran Metalik vs. Zack Sabre Jr.

Mexico vs. England. Metalik dropkicks him at the bell to put Zack on the floor for a flip dive. A springboard Swanton Bomb gets a VERY close two but Sabre ties him in the ropes for some kicks and knees to the back. Sabre starts in on the neck to slow things down and puts Metalik’s head between his legs to crank on a leg.

Back up and Zack fires off more uppercuts but gets caught in a weird standing leglock until Sabre dives over to the ropes. Zack comes back with a dragon sleeper with his leg pulling Metalik’s arm back as he stays on the neck. They fight over a double arm crank until Sabre just kicks him in the face. Metalik does the same and gets two off a running shooting star press. Both guys get near falls off some rollups until Metalik gets something like an octopus hold.

Sabre reverses into a guillotine which is reversed into a Boston crab which is reversed into a rollup for two on Sabre. A slugout goes to Sabre so Metalik takes his head off with a clothesline for two more. Sabre’s running PK gets another near fall but Metalik kicks him in the face again. Something like an octopus hold has Metalik in more trouble but it breaks down so Metalik can survive. Sabre goes to the ropes but gets crotched and hurricanranaed down for a very close two. Metalik gets caught in a triangle until he flips over into a rollup for two more. Back up and a quick Metalik Driver eliminates Sabre at 13:14.

Rating: B. The ending surprised me a bit as Metalik has been pretty quiet throughout the whole tournament but is somehow in the finals. He’s very much your standard luchador and that’s the kind of wrestler who is always going to have a spot around here. Sabre might not be coming to WWE but he’ll be a big star around the world with the skills that he has.

William Regal comes out and gives Metalik a big medal for winning.

With the help of a translator, Metalik thanks the fans and says he’s going to win the tournament.

Johnny Gargano and Tommaso Ciampa are out to prove something tonight against Noam Dar and Cedric Alexander. All that matters to them is a rematch with the Revival.

Semifinals: Kota Ibushi vs. TJ Perkins

Japan vs. Philipines. Feeling out process to start with Perkins actually checking one of Ibushi’s kicks. The fans are mostly split as Perkins works on an armbar but tries to pull Ibushi in for the kneebar. Ibushi sprints over to the ropes so Perkins gets him on the mat in a headscissors. A running kick to the chest drops Perkins and a springboard missile dropkick makes it even worse.

Ibushi tries a running springboard moonsault but gets kicked to the floor for a nasty looking crash. Back in and a double underhook crank stays on Ibushi’s neck for a bit until a good looking dropkick hits Perkins in the mouth. Now the springboard moonsault to the floor works just fine and Ibushi follows up with a springboard missile dropkick. A running powerslam sets up a middle rope moonsault but Perkins gets the knees up.

The kneebar goes on and sends Ibushi over to the ropes for the save. Ibushi is right back with a snap German suplex for two and it’s time for the hard kicks to Perkins’ chest. TJ breaks up the middle rope German deadlift suplex and counters the Golden Star Bomb into a DDT. That’s only good for two (Mauro: “CONJOINED TWINS CLOSE!”) and it’s off to the kneebar in the middle of the ring.

Ibushi flips out of that too and the Golden Star Bomb plants TJ for one of the hottest near falls I’ve seen in a long time. Perkins rolls away from a Phoenix splash but gets caught in a wheelbarrow slam driver. Yet another Golden Star Bomb attempt is countered into the kneebar and Perkins even leans up to pull back on the neck for the huge upset at 13:51.

Rating: A. I was losing my mind on those near falls and that just does not happen to me very often. Perkins is someone that I never saw much in but this match here more than won me over. He had a logical game plan here and he stuck with it until the ending while Ibushi was throwing everything he could. I had a blast with this match and it never stopped being a blast.

Perkins says he’s won one and now he needs to win one more.

Sasha Banks, Bayley, Kalisto, Jack Gallagher and Rich Swann are in the crowd.

Noam Dar/Cedric Alexander vs. Johnny Gargano/Tommaso Ciampa

Just an exhibition match. After some handshakes all around, it’s Alexander throwing Ciampa around in a bit of a surprise to start. It’s quickly off to Gargano for a knee to Dar’s jaw. They already tag off again so Cedric flip dives over the top to take Ciampa out. Everything breaks down and Gargano superkicks Dar before spearing Alexander through the ropes for two. A wicked Michinoku Driver gets two on Gargano and we settle down to Ciampa kneeing Dar in the face until Cedric springboards in with a clothesline.

Everything breaks down again and a series of clotheslines and superkicks puts all four down. Dar reverses a kick and grabs an ankle lock on Johnny, only to have Ciampa go all psycho while stomping to break up the hold. Dar dives onto Johnny and Alexander hits a very hard brainbuster for what looked like three but the referee says keep going. Gargano comes back in with his superkicks to both guys, setting up the running knee/superkick combo for the pin on Dar at 9:42.

Rating: B. Totally wild match here to give us a little change of pace from the tournament matches. These guys beat the heck out of each other and there were some great near falls even though there was little doubt that Gargano/Ciampa were going to win due to their upcoming match with the Revival. Still though, this was a very entertaining match and a good idea after the two great matches we saw earlier.

Regal talks about helping to put the tournament together and trying to find people who weren’t as well known but could handle the rigors of this competition.

Corey Graves comes in to talk a bit as we fill in time before the main event.

We recap the semifinals.

Quick look at the trophy.

Cruiserweight Classic Final: Gran Metalik vs. TJ Perkins

Mexico vs. Philipines. Wait a second though as HHH comes out to say this is going to be for the new Cruiserweight Title. That’s quite the jump up though it was the only logical way to introduce the title.

Cruiserweight Title: Gran Metalik vs. TJ Perkins

The title is vacant coming in of course. They trade some early rollups before Perkins grabs a modified octopus hold. Metalik rolls out and sends Perkins outside for a suicide dive with their heads crashing together. Back in and we hit a surfboard with Metalik’s boot in TJ’s back for extra pressure. Perkins gets over to the ropes and tries a suplex, only to have Metalik get a running start and hurricanrana Perkins off the apron for an awesome spot.

Metalik follows him out with a big springboard flip dive to keep Perkins in trouble. The running shooting star misses though and Perkins grabs the kneebar, sending Metalik over to the ropes again. A dropkick to the knee looks to set up the Metalik Driver but instead it’s a DDT for two on Perkins.

The reverse Backstabber sets up another kneebar and Perkins pulls him back to the middle. He can’t get the leg crossed though and Metalik counters into a rollup for a close two. The Metalik Driver plants Perkins but the knee gives out again and it’s only good for two more. Perkins takes too long going up top and gets caught in a super Metalik Driver but that’s reversed into a full on kneebar to make Metalik tap at 17:45.

Rating: A-. Just like before, Perkins won me over here. He really has no business being in there with names like this and he’s more than shown he belongs at the top of this division. I had a blast watching him through and you can add him to the list of names that TNA managed to screw up and let go over to WWE. Another great match here to cap off a great night.

Perkins is presented with the trophy and title but he needs to see someone about his chest, which is terribly, terribly bruised. He talks about how this trophy is for everyone and he can’t believe he’s here. Perkins celebrates to end the show.

Overall Rating: A+. You think this one needs an explanation? This tournament was absolutely incredible and one of the best displays of wrestling I’ve seen in a long time. For me, the whole thing works for how simple they kept things. This started two months ago yesterday and we’re DONE. No three months of round robin before we get to the actual tournament, no waiting around with people who had no chance being teased and nothing that was ever boring.

This tournament flew by and was so much fun that I started looking forward to watching it every week. I don’t think it’s something that would work all the time but it’s going to be a great addition to Raw for a match or two a week and that’s all it needs to be. Excellent tournament and an outstanding finale.

Results

Gran Metalik b. Zack Sabre Jr. – Metalik Driver

TJ Perkins b. Kota Ibushi – Kneebar

Johnny Gargano/Tommaso Ciampa b. Noam Dar/Cedric Alexander – Running knee/superkick combo to Dar

TJ Perkins b. Gran Metalik – Kneebar

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s WWE Grab Bag at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Smackdown
Date: April 11, 2002
Location: Tucson Convention Center, Tucson, Arizona
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

This has to be better than Raw right? I’m almost convinced that it has to be just based on the law of nearly anything would be better than the mess that I sat through earlier this week. The big story continues to be the build towards Hulk Hogan vs. HHH for reasons of pure nostalgia. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Kurt Angle to get things going with his continued complaining about Hogan getting the title shot. He’s beaten Russians and Iranians much tougher than Nikolai Volkoff and the Iron Sheik so how can Hogan be better than him? Then on Raw, Ric Flair made Undertaker vs. Steve Austin for the title shot after that so Kurt is out in the cold for a long time. Tonight he has a non-title match against HHH so he could prove what happened had Vince McMahon not gone mental.

The WHAT chants finally make Angle snap but here’s Edge to calm things down a bit. Edge agrees that Angle’s medal win was inspiring but IT WAS SIX YEARS AGO. Since Angle isn’t getting a title shot soon, maybe he’d like to face Edge at Backlash. The match is accepted so Edge has one last thing: the fans need to shout YOU SUCK instead of WHAT whenever Kurt talks. And that’s the rest of Angle’s career. Angle freaks out as only he can and demands his music plays, only to have the fans chant to the tune.

Chris Jericho tells Angle that he’ll take care of Edge tonight. So there’s your heel alliance. Angle doesn’t like loudmouthed Canadians with long blond hair who dress like a rock star. Angle: “Well not you of course. You’re cool.”

Tajiri vs. Hurricane

Hurricane has hacked off his hair. Tajiri drags Torrie Wilson out in a geisha girl outfit and you can just pencil in the big stripping scene from here. An armdrag sends Tajiri outside and Hurricane uses a rare over the top flip dive to take him down. Torrie looks miserable as Tazz says she’s lucky to have someone like Tajiri. For once Cole has it right by saying it’s the other way around. Hurricane gets in a hurricanrana but gets kicked in the head for the fast pin.

Rating: C+. This was a good way to set up Tajiri’s rematch for the Cruiserweight Title at Backlash and treating Torrie like garbage is a classic, simple way to get him over as a heel. It’s nice to have some actual characters in the Cruiserweight division instead of just giving them little time and having them do spots.

Tajiri berates Torrie until Kidman makes the save.

Stacy Keibler, in Miss Hancock attire, lays on Vince’s couch until he shows up.

Albert vs. Scotty 2 Hotty

We get the debut of Albert in trunks here because we needed to see that chest hair. Albert jumps him during the entrances as Cole talks about Albert beating Scotty up last week and yelling about Scotty holding him down and making him do all the dancing. Cole: “But we still haven’t heard why Albert did what he did.” That’s vintage Cole stupidity. Scotty stops a charge with a boot and gets two off a middle rope dropkick. The Worm is broken up by a bicycle kick and a Baldo Bomb ends Scotty in a hurry.

Albert beats him up some more after the match until Rikishi makes the save. You mean their big idea is Rikishi vs. Albert? As in the future Hall of Famer vs. future head trainer of developmental?

Vince arrives to find Stacy and says he’s considering her for a position. There are a few more candidates though and he’ll be interviewing them in the ring. Stacy promises to give him an offer that he can’t refuse.

Rico makes fun of Maven’s clothes and eyebrows. Al Snow comes in and a tag match against Billy and Chuck is made for later.

Hogan wants to be the WWF Champion one more time. Jericho comes up and warns Hogan about the dangers of HHH. I’d pay to see a Battle of the Bands between Fozzy and the Wrestling Boot Band.

Edge vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho gets caught by an early spinwheel kick and flapjack before Edge sends him outside. There’s a baseball slide over the announcers’ table as it’s all young Canadian so far. Jericho hides behind the referee and rakes Edge’s eyes, earning himself a HAS BEEN chant. It amazes me that Jericho had been wrestling for over ten years at this point and he’d still be around over fourteen years later. That’s almost as long as Austin’s entire career and it’s not even half of what Jericho did.

Edge fights back with some chops and avoids a charge to send Chris into the post. A rollup gets two on Jericho and you can hear the fans getting fired up off the near falls. Cue Angle but Edge spears him down, only to walk into a bulldog. The Edge-O-Matic gets two but the referee stupidly gets in the way of a catapult. You know, because referees are dumb.

The Edgecator makes Jericho tap but there’s no one to see it so of course Edge lets go. You know, because wrestlers are dumb. Jericho tries to bring in a chair but gets speared for two. Angle snaps Edge’s neck across the top and that’s enough for a rollup with tights to give Jericho the pin.

Rating: B-. That’s probably the best match since the Brand Extension, assuming you ignore the nonsense with the referee and all the interference. Unfortunately that’s how big matches go at this point in the WWF because they don’t want anyone to lose even remotely clean. It’s fine every now and then but that’s what countouts and disqualifications should be for.

Edge goes after Angle but gets beaten down until Hogan makes the save.

Here’s Vince for his job interviews or whatever they’re calling them this week. There’s a desk in the ring and it’s really not that hard to guess what they’re setting up with Stacy. First up we have a professional looking woman with horn rimmed glasses named Sylvia Johnson. She can type 95 words a minute, can speak three languages and most computer languages. Vince says no because she’s not his type. “Don’t let the door hit you on the…..oh yeah we don’t have doors on the ring.”

Next up is a guy who looks like Steve from Blue’s Clues. Vince tells him to get out before anyone can say a word. The third option is a decent looking woman who is a bit more Vince’s type. She can type fast and takes dictation but the fans want puppies. Vince thinks he’s found his personal assistant but wonders if there’s one more applicant.

Cue Stacy and Vince’s eyes bug out despite knowing it was coming. Ok to be fair the Hancock outfit can have that effect. Stacy throws the other woman out and dances on the desk to get the job. Vince falling out of his chair when she pulls up her skirt is great, unlike this HUGE waste of time. Yeah Stacy looked great but this was nothing other than a way for Vince to have some fun.

D-Von, now in a suit comes in to see Vince and tells him to testify. See, now he’s a preacher. His mission is to save the sinners of the world but he needs a benefactor. Vince agrees, despite the fact that it’s D-Von. At least this is something different though and that’s what someone like D-Von needs, which is what TNA never understood.

Mark Henry holds a limo (driven by Test) back with his legs. Test cranks it up and hurts Henry’s legs (which you never actually see touching the limo of course). So we’re going to get Rikishi vs. Albert and Test vs. Mark Henry?

Chuck vs. Al Snow

Everyone is at ringside. I’d rather they have this match instead of giving Snow and Maven a Tag Team Title shot out of the blue. Snow kicks him into the corner to start as Tazz yells at Cole for getting a town’s name wrong. A belly to belly sends Snow flying as the announcers debate weed whackers. Snow gets two off a sitout spinebuster but Rico gets in the ring. Maven chases him into the crowd, leaving Chuck to hit the Jungle Kick for two. A quick Snowplow gives Al the pin.

Rating: D. I’m fine with setting up some challengers for the titles as it’s not like there are many teams on either show at the moment. Snow and Maven aren’t exactly doing anything else and it can plug the second season of Tough Enough at the same time. Nothing to see here but at least the booking makes sense. Unfortunately that doesn’t make it interesting but that’s what you get when WE HAVE TO SPLIT UP THE TAG TEAMS BECAUSE REASONS!

HHH is getting taped up when Hogan comes in to talk about Jericho and Angle. The face alliance is offered but HHH will have nothing to do with it because they’re going to fight at Backlash. Just like last week, Hogan being everybody’s favorite grandpa and HHH being all serious really doesn’t work. HHH holds up the title and talks about it like his secret girlfriend for when Stephanie throws him out for not respecting the lady balls enough. Finally, as is custom for HHH, I have time to drywall my house by the time he finishes his really simple point.

Kurt Angle vs. HHH

Non-title. Angle’s top wristlock goes nowhere as HHH shoves him into the corner. Cole again tries to push the “HHH grew up idolizing Hogan” schtick, which only works if you ignore the fact that he was a teenager when Hogan first won the title. A sunset flip with tights gives us a two count and an Angle thong shot. We’re lucky enough to have Angle not realize that they’re down so HHH gives him a hard spank. Angle finally figures out what’s going on and throws some German suplexes for two.

We hit the sleeper on the champ but HHH flips him over and grabs a DDT. HHH starts choking for no real apparent reason before a spinebuster gets two more with Jericho coming out to pull the referee to the floor. A Lionsault gives Angle two so Jericho decks the ref and the beatdown is on. Hogan comes out for the save and beats down Angle…..to set up a Pedigree for the pin. WHAT??? Jericho pulled the referee out, hit a Lionsault and beat the referee up before Hogan came in and beat up both bad guys AND THE REFEREE DIDN’T NOTICE??? Are you kidding me?

Rating: C+. The match was what you would expect from these two but WOW that ending was ridiculous. It’s not like HHH absolutely had to pin Angle here as he was getting double teamed by two former World Champions and….oh wait it was HHH. How did I miss that when I was saying all this made no sense? Of course he had to beat Angle. It means so much after having Hogan come in for the save and all.

Post match HHH yells at Hogan for coming out. They get in each others faces and HHH tells him to stay out of his business until Backlash. Hogan says HHH is his business until Backlash (Shouldn’t that be until after Backlash?) and goes to leave but Angle hits HHH from behind, knocking him into HHH. Hulk hits the usual and holds up the title. Jericho and Angle beat the good guys down and stand…..well about average height to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Let’s get this out of the way at the start: this was WAY better than any of the other single brand shows from either Raw or Smackdown to date. There was good, longer wrestling and story advancement with characters that people care about. Really lame main event feud aside (especially with the Hogan nostalgia not working as well as it was a few weeks ago, likely due to a lack of the Rock’s charisma helping things), a lot of the show made more sense.

However, we still have a lot of major problems. You have Maven and Al Snow as the only challengers to the Tag Team Titles, Rikishi vs. Albert and Test vs. Mark Henry looming and the regular “Vince gets a gorgeous woman” storyline. They’re starting to come around on top but the midcard and lower card are both death right now and that’s going to last for a long time until we get some new characters over. It’s a better show but they really need to fix some things.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s WWE Grab Bag at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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In Your House #6: Rage in the Cage
Date: February 18, 1996
Location: Louisville Gardens, Louisville, Kentucky
Attendance: 5,500
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Vince McMahon

This is the final show before Wrestlemania XII, meaning almost everything has been set up for the show already. There main question is who will be facing whom for the world title. Other than Diesel vs. Bret tonight, there’s also the case of who gets to face the winner for the title. As mentioned Shawn has won the right to fight for the title, but he also wants revenge against Owen Hart for putting him out, so tonight Shawn is putting his Wrestlemania title shot on the line for a shot at Owen. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about the mindsets of Diesel and Bret and what role the Undertaker might play in the whole thing.

Vince and Jerry preview the show for us.

Razor Ramon vs. 1-2-3 Kid

This is a Crybaby Match, meaning the loser is put in a diaper. It’s also the final encounter in a story that has run over two years and seen both guys turn at one point. The Kid also cost Razor the Intercontinental Title at the Rumble. He throws a diaper in Razor’s face and gets punched in the face for his efforts before a big clothesline sends Kid flying over the top and out to the floor.

The Kid snaps Razor’s throat over the top rope and comes back in with a springboard clothesline before kicking away in the corner to take over. A big spin kick takes Razor’s head off and he fires off chops in the corner, only to be reversed into a big hiptoss to give Ramon control again. There’s the fallaway slam but the Kid bails to the floor to escape the Razor’s Edge. To play up the gimmick of the match, DiBiase slips the Kid some baby powder to throw in Razor’s eyes (not a DQ for no apparent reason) to give the Kid two.

A pair of legdrops and a top rope splash gets another two count on Ramon and Kid hooks a sleeper. The hold stays on for almost three minutes but Razor finally fights up and crotches the Kid on the top rope for the break. Back up and Ramon scores with some right hands before rolling through a high cross body for two. Kid comes back with a big spin wheel kick for two but gets caught in a middle rope fallaway slam to knock him silly. DiBiase gives the Kid more powder but Razor kicks it into Kid’s face before planting him with the Razor’s Edge. He pulls Kid up at two though before hitting a second Edge for the pin.

Rating: C+. Not a bad match here and a good choice for an opener but the sleeper went on too long. This is one of those stories that went on so long that it was hard to care about either guy at the end of it, but it got the Kid to a higher level than he would have been at otherwise which is a good sign. This was probably their best match in the entire story too.

Post match the Kid has a baby bottle poured down his throat, gets put in a diaper and covered in baby powder.

Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Duke Droese

Helmsley is accompanied by Elizabeth Hilden, a Penthouse Pet of the Year (not mentioned here of course). Droese is another of those one note characters, this time a wrestling garbage man. Helmsley cut Duke’s hair recently so this is about revenge. Droese charges the ring and pounds away on Helmsley in the corner before slamming him down hard. Duke takes off his vest to whip Helmsley before booting him in the jaw.

A backdrop puts Helmsley down as Lawler hits on the Penthouse chick. Helmsley’s Pedigree attempt is countered with an atomic drop and a clothesline puts him down again. Droese misses a charge and gets backdropped out to the floor, possibly injuring his shoulder. Helmsley whips him into the post for two and pounds away but Duke comes back for a slug out. A jumping knee to the face gets two on Droese and a snap suplex gets the same.

Helmsley charges into a boot in the corner and a double clothesline puts both guys down. The Penthouse girl is at least watching and seems to be interested in what’s going on. That’s all you can ask for with “celebrities” like her so I’ll take what I can get. A spinebuster puts Helmsley down and a big backdrop does the same. There’s a powerslam for no cover but Duke says it’s time to take out the trash. He hits his tilt-a-whirl powerslam (the Trash Compactor) but goes to get his garbage can instead of covering. The referee throws it out but the distraction allows Helmsley to blast Duke with the can lid for the pin.

Rating: C-. Not terrible here with Droese having some nice power stuff in there. The story doesn’t really work because it’s such a low level idea but the hair cutting stuff from a few weeks ago gave it a personal touch. Not a great match or anything but it did its job well enough. Helmsley is getting some character development over the months too which is what he needs more than anything.

We recap the collapse of Camp Cornette, which culminated in the British Bulldog accidentally hitting Yokozuna and costing them a tag match. Cornette berated Yokozuna after the match and the big man erupted, turning face in the process.

Yokozuna cuts his first promo ever, saying it’s his time to take the spotlight from Cornette.

Yokozuna vs. British Bulldog

The big man slugs Bulldog down within seconds and there’s a slam for good measure. Yokozuna misses an elbow drop though and Bulldog starts the very slow choking. It only lasts a few seconds though as Yokozuna crushes him in the corner but Cornette breaks up the Banzai Drop attempt. We get a VERY slow fight on the floor until Bulldog avoids a charge into the post and they head back inside. A top rope ax handle gets two for Smith but Yokozuna hits a quick (by comparison) Samoan drop, drawing in Cornette with a tennis racket shot for the DQ.

Rating: D. This didn’t have time to go anywhere but what we got was as bad as it sounded. There’s just nothing you can do with a guy Yokozuna’s size unless you’re a monster yourself. Smith is a powerful guy but he’s hardly a giant. Nothing much to see here though but at least it was short.

Post match Yokozuna goes after Cornette until Vader, the new monster of Camp Cornette, comes out to slug Yokozuna down into the corner and handcuff him to the ropes. The beating ensues and goes on longer than it should have.

Goldust is on AOL for an interview and hits on the guy doing the typing.

We recap Shawn vs. Owen which we’ve covered for the most part. Owen is bragging about injuring Shawn’s head but tonight Michaels is back and putting up his Wrestlemania title shot for a chance at revenge.

Shawn says this is the biggest match of his career because if he doesn’t win, he can’t achieve his destiny at Wrestlemania.

Owen Hart vs. Shawn Michaels

Shawn comes in from the roof of the house set, dancing atop the garage. Feeling out process to start with Shawn sliding through Owen’s legs and all the way out to the floor to show Owen up a bit. Michaels kisses a woman in the front row on the cheek, sending her nearly into delirium. Back in and Owen slides through the legs just like Shawn did, only Michaels goes up top and dives to the floor to take Owen out. Back in and a top rope ax handle to the head gets two for Michaels.

Owen gets taken down with ease and Shawn walks up his back to show off even more. We hit a headlock for a bit with Shawn messing up Owen’s hair. Owen gets a quick takedown but Shawn kicks him away, allowing both guys to nip up at the same time. A hurricanrana takes Owen down and Shawn pounds away, only to walk into a belly to belly suplex to give Owen his first advantage.

A neckbreaker gets two for Owen as he starts going after Shawn’s head. Scratch that actually as Shawn has to kick out of a Sharpshooter attempt but gets caught in an armbar. The hold is shifted into a camel clutch before Owen gets two off a rollup. Off to a chinlock as the rest holds continue to abound. Back up and the spinwheel kick sends Shawn out to the floor, possibly injuring Shawn’s head again.

Back in again and Shawn throws Hart to the floor and dives off the apron, only to get caught in a powerslam down to the floor. A missile dropkick gets two for Owen and Shawn is in big trouble. Shawn is whipped upside down in the corner and gets his head taken off with a hard clothesline for no cover. There’s the Sharpshooter as Owen completely changes his offensive strategy for the sake of using a signature move.

Michaels is dragged back to the middle of the ring but finally grabs the bottom rope. Back up and Owen hits his enziguri, sending Shawn out to the floor and seemingly out on consciousness. Back in and Owen only gets a two count but Shawn comes back with a flying forearm to the head. He nips up and the energy is rolling. There’s the top rope elbow and a right hand for Cornette before Sweet Chin Music sends Shawn to Wrestlemania.

Rating: B. This was good but it didn’t hit the level they were going for. That being said, this was exactly what they were supposed to be doing with Shawn coming back from his injury and winning the match completely clean in the middle of the ring. Shawn was on a roll at this point and the fans were WAY into him.

Post match Shawn dances with an 8 year old girl in the ring. Nice moment.

Here’s acting president Roddy Piper with something to say. He thinks Michael Jackson is guilty (topical at the time) before officially announcing Shawn as #1 contender to the world title. Second he doesn’t feel sorry for Yokozuna because he let himself get cuffed to the ropes. Piper thinks Vader is inbred and that his mask looks like a jockstrap. Vader vs. Yokozuna is officially made for Wrestlemania.

This brings out Cornette but Piper immediately cuts him off and demands respect. Cornette talks about how the old Piper was afraid of nothing but now he’s afraid of Vader. Piper cuts him off again and says that if Vader loses at Wrestlemania, Cornette has to face Yokozuna one on one. This was a way to give the ring crew time to set up the cage.

WWF World Title: Diesel vs. Bret Hart

In a cage of course and you can win by escape only. Diesel pounds him into the corner to start but Bret comes back with right hands of his own, only to be shoved down with ease. The big man fires off more right hands in the corner before talking some trash. A HARD whip across the ring shakes the cage and Bret is in big trouble early. The champion slips away from Diesel, sending his head into the cage. Bret rams it in again and drops some elbows on Diesel’s head. Very physical match so far.

Bret goes up but Diesel makes the stop and rams Bret back first into the cage wall. He tries to get out but Bret crotches him with the ropes and fires off even more right hands to the head. Neither guy can escape so Bret goes after the knee to slow Diesel down. Bret fights back up and clotheslines Hart down as Lawler wonders why they’re not running to escape as soon as the other guy is down. A sidewalk slam puts Hart down again but he takes out the knee again to regain control.

Hart goes for the escape but only gets one leg out when Diesel makes another stop and launches Bret off the top rope in a slam. Diesel charges into a knee in the corner and gets bulldogged down but Bret can’t follow up. We get another escape attempt by Bret but this time Diesel suplexes him down for the stop. They’re getting a little repetitive here.

Diesel misses a charge in the corner and hurts his knee again, giving Bret an opening. The champion goes after the bad wheel and drops a middle rope elbow on it for good measure. Diesel counters a whip to give us the chest first buckle bump, which sounds AWESOME here because of the cage shaking. The challenger pounds away with elbows in the corner but Bret kicks him in the knee for a breather.

Hart goes up again and gets all the way out of the cage but Diesel pulls him up by the hair in a painful looking sequence. Diesel stays on Bret’s back by cannonballing down onto the spine, only to be rammed face first into the cage for his efforts. The big man pokes Hart in the eye and the fans are entirely in his corner at the moment.

Bret fights up and slugs away before taking Diesel down with the Russian legsweep. There’s the middle rope elbow but Diesel pulls Bret down again to put both guys on the mat. Diesel goes for the door but the Undertaker pops up through the mat and pulls Diesel down under the ring. Smoke pours out of the hole as Bret climbs out to retain the title.

Rating: D+. This was a pretty boring match for the most part with a very repetitive sequence going on throughout the twenty minutes. Diesel needed to be more physical out there and this is one of the few instances where pinfalls could have helped a cage match. Diesel wasn’t going to escape, but the threat of a Jackknife could have helped things out a lot.

Diesel and Undertaker crawl out of the hole with Diesel escaping from further torment.

Overall Rating: C-. It’s a better show overall due to the really good Shawn match and some other nice stuff in between but it’s still no classic. They’re definitely getting the formula down though and things will be changing even more with the events of Wrestlemania. Better show here and thankfully these are getting much easier to sit through. That’s a sign of the times in the WWF, which would actually lead to much darker days, which we’ll get to soon enough.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s WWE Grab Bag at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Smackdown
Date: April 4, 2002
Location: Blue Cross Arena, Rochester, New York
Attendance: 8,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

After Monday’s less than amazing debut for Raw, it’s time to see if Smackdown can save the opening week of the Brand Split. This show has its share of stars including The Rock, Chris Jericho, Hulk Hogan and Kurt Angle. Those names alone should be enough to help carry this past Raw but this company has managed to disappoint me with less. Let’s get to it.

Vince (dang I thought this was Smackdown) wishes us good evening. On Raw, Ric Flair picked Undertaker as #1 contender but that wasn’t his right. Vince won the coin toss and the right to name the #1 contender, which he’ll do tonight. It’s really not a good sign that they’re changing matches that fast.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Kurt Angle to say he’d love to be #1 contender. That would make sense given how things have been going lately. Since the fans keep “dissing” him, he has a list of reasons why he should get the title shot.

1. He OWNS HHH.

2. He won an Olympic gold medal.

3. He is adored by children and senior citizens worldwide!

Before he can list off his other twenty six reasons, here’s Chris Jericho to interrupt. Jericho’s only rematch has been in a stupid triple threat match where Stephanie lost (true) and despite what the people here think, he is NOT a has been. Jericho suggests a match for the #1 contendership and Kurt shakes his hand but the Rock comes out with something to say. There’s only one man, AND THE ROCK MEANS ONE MAN who should face HHH for the title at Backlash. Rock doesn’t actually say who that is because he thinks there might be someone else.

One day Rock will be WWF Champion but until then, no one deserves the shot more than Hulk Hogan. I know they’re friends and all, but Rock saying Hogan should get a title shot after he beat Hogan at Wrestlemania and was drafted higher really doesn’t feel right. Find another way to get Hogan in the title picture though as Rock saying it isn’t working for me. After a double IT DOESN’T MATTER to Angle and Jericho and a poll from the crowd, Rock implores Vince to give Hogan the shot.

Earlier tonight, Albert confirmed that he was with Scotty for the Tag Team Title match.

Tag Team Titles: Billy and Chuck vs. Scotty 2 Hotty/Albert

Billy and Chuck are defending of course. We look at Rico talking to the announcers for some reason before Hotty takes Chuck down to start. Scotty takes things to another level by sending Chuck head first into Billy’s…..we’ll say stomach. Chuck’s offense doesn’t last long as he eats a superkick and there’s the hot tag to the Hip Hop Hippo (just go with it) to clean house. Albert gets distracted by Rico (never look directly at the sideburns) and the chase lets Rico sneak in and kick Scotty in the face so Billy can get the pin.

Rating: D. Nothing to see here but you can almost see the post match heel turn from heel. It’s not like they have a ton of midcard acts at the moment so one less nothing tag team isn’t going to hurt anything. Albert is a former Intercontinental Champion so just let him beat up goons for a bit.

Post match, as expected, Albert beats the heck out of Scotty and says he put up with the dancing for six months.

Vince grabs Hogan the title shot.

Jericho freaks out and yells at Rock for getting Hogan the title shot. He brings up the great point that Hogan couldn’t even win at Wrestlemania and Jericho beat Rock over and over. Rock suggests Jericho try to beat him tonight and an exchange of fisticuffs is agreed upon.

Video on Christian’s losing streak and ensuing tantrums. Diamond Dallas Page helped Christian break the streak but Christian attacked him after the match. Page then beat him at Wrestlemania and the biggest fit yet ensued.

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Christian

Page monkey flips him to start as the announcers are already talking about Backlash. Christian gets in an elbow to the face and grabs a chinlock so this is probably going to be a short match. The reverse DDT gets two and Christian throws a fit, only to sucker Page in for the Unprettier and the pin.

Rating: D+. Who would have thought a match involving Christian freaking out would have psychology? Hopefully this moves Christian on to something else as Page really doesn’t have much of a future due to his age and people not really caring about him in the WWF in the first place. The match was fine but I could go for something lasting a bit longer.

Kurt Angle thinks Hillbilly Jim should be President if Hogan gets the title shot. Edge comes up and says he feels bad about their recent problems. He’s found some pictures of their good old days but of course there are jokes on the back, such as “You Suck”, “Yes I Do Suck” and “And I’m A Dork.” It’s true, though thank goodness Edge was on the right side and Angle took the pictures when he did or this could have been embarrassing for Edge.

Here’s HHH for his bi-weekly chat, this time about the new #1 contender. The more I look at that Undisputed Title, the less I like it by comparison to the original two belts. If nothing else the other two were bigger, as World Titles should be. HHH doesn’t care if he’s fighting Hogan because he’ll fight Undertaker next. Cue Hogan in the red and yellow (first time in almost ten years in the WWF) to talk about…..Wrestlemania I?

Then he moves on to Wrestlemania III (now with 94,000 people there) and Wrestlemania XVIII, both of which he thought would never be topped. Nothing is bigger than the title though (not exactly, as it wasn’t even the biggest match at Wrestlemania) and HHH says it would be an honor to be in the ring with Hulk Hogan (Like he is now?).

In a bit of a twist, HHH says he’s looked up to Hogan his whole life. At Backlash though, he won’t hesitate to hurt Hogan every way he can. Hogan thinks it’s funny that everyone keeps declaring Hulkamania dead because it’s going to rise up again at Backlash. A lot of posing takes us out as the serious HHH awkwardly leaves. Again: I get why they have to do something with Hogan while they can but this feels really forced.

Edge vs. Kurt Angle

I miss Never Gonna Stop. Kurt stomps him down and throws a good looking German suplex to start as the announcers talk about how amazing the previous segment was. In other words, they’re probably putting it on the same level as the Rock vs. Hogan promo the previous month because in the WWF, HHH and Rock are total equals. Edge’s half nelson facebuster gets him out of trouble for a bit and Angle gets tied in the ropes. Some spears (which still look lame coming from Edge) have him in even more trouble so he chairs Edge for the DQ.

Rating: D. Anytime this show wants to deliver a match that breaks four minutes, please let me know. This is a problem that the modern Brand Split is running into as well (Raw more than Smackdown): you don’t have to put everything on every week. It’s ok to alternate back and forth for a bit and let something get a little focus.

Edge fights Angle off.

Billy Kidman wishes luck to his ex-Torrie Wilson and her boyfriend Tajiri in their match later. Tajiri comes up and rants in Japanese. Just do the heel turn/split.

Cruiserweight Title: Kidman vs. Tajiri

Tajiri is defending. Kidman dropkicks him down to start and seems to be going fast, likely due to another lack of time. A kick to the head puts Kidman on the floor and there’s an Asai moonsault for a very week ECW chant. Back in and the tornado DDT is countered into a sitout powerbomb (nice counter) but Kidman can’t hit the shooting star. The frustrated champion grabs his title and puts it in the corner, only to have Torrie take it away. Kidman uses the distraction to roll Tajiri up for the pin and the title.

Rating: D+. This felt like an Alliance era title change with the action having no meaning other than the forced angle at the end. Kidman winning the title doesn’t really change anything but it’s not like the Cruiserweight Title means anything at this point. Splitting Torrie and Tajiri (pretty obvious at this point) probably won’t lead anywhere and it’s another story to add to the pile tonight.

Tajiri berates Torrie and leaves.

Vince is mad at Maven for costing Smackdown the Hardcore Title last week. His solution: send Hardcore Holly after him. Bob leaves and here’s Stacy Keibler, (“Just call me Vince.”) to offer the boss his services, which includes bending over in front of the camera. Wouldn’t it make sense to bend over where Vince can see it?

Stacy loved Vince’s talk about intellectual sperm and he likes the way she walks. They sit down and we go to a break, coming back with Vince fixing his clothes. Stacy is gone so here’s D-Von to yell about splitting up the Dudley Boyz. He demands an explanation so Vince tells him to get out until he’s ready to be a star. Did we just get three Vince segments in one? That’s excessive even by his standards.

Al Snow gives Maven a pep talk by saying he would have had to get mugged to get the kind of beating Hardcore Holly is going to give him.

Hardcore Holly vs. Maven

Cole hypes up Rock vs. Jericho, which will have no titles on the line. Could that be because neither is a champion? Holly punches in the corner and does his kick to the “lower abdomen”, only to miss a high cross body. Maven gets two off a missile dropkick but the Alabama Slam ends him in a hurry. I’m sure there was a point to this one somewhere.

We look at Rock challenging Jericho earlier in the night.

The Rock vs. Chris Jericho

They slug it out in the aisle to start and I’ll let you guess who gets the better of it. Rock gets catapulted into the post for the great looking bump and they head inside for the opening bell. Right hands and a spinwheel kick get two for Chris as the announcers say Rock was just showing Hogan respect earlier. A Walls attempt is broken up and Jericho gets crotched on top to set up a superplex for Rock’s first real offense.

Some of Rock’s usual stuff gets a few near falls but there goes the referee. Rock grabs the Sharpshooter but here’s Angle for the interference. Not that it matters as Rock kicks out of the Angle Slam, Edge comes out to take care of Angle, and the Rock Bottom ends Jericho as a match finally breaks seven minutes.

Rating: C. The time and talent in the ring helped carry this but it felt like a way to get to the interference which likely sets up a tag match next week. Rock is in a weird place where he’s so much better than anyone else that it’s hard to imagine someone giving him a real challenge. That HHH feud just crippled Jericho as he feels like a glorified midcarder instead of a guy who was World Champion a month again.

Overall Rating: D. Put very simply, there’s too much here. This could have been spread out over two weeks if not more, including too many turns and splits for a single show. I really don’t get why wrestling companies feel the need to do this. It’s not like there’s a big season finale coming up. Just let these already established characters (keep in mind that they weren’t anything new but rather just exclusive to one show or the other) act as they normally would instead of changing so suddenly. It doesn’t feel right and makes for an overly packed show.

On top of that, you need some more wrestling. Like I mentioned multiple times, until the main event, nothing broke three and a half minutes. There really isn’t a defense for something like that happening on a show with this much talent. Just Rock vs. Jericho alone could have eaten up twelve to fifteen minutes and you could have gut out something like Maven vs. Holly, which basically existed to say “hey, we’re here too”. Things will likely get better going forward but this was a big mess, somehow being just as bad as Raw.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s WWE Grab Bag at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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A column about the last five minutes of Raw.

http://wrestlingrumors.net/kbs-review-the-kevin-owens-and-triple-h-and-seth-rollins-and-roman-reigns-show/

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 1, 2002
Location: Pepsi Arena, Albany, New York
Attendance: 9,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s time for the first show of a new generation as Ric Flair is officially in charge of Raw with a roster all its own. I’m really not sure what to expect here as almost all of the stories are restarting, save for Kane vs. the NWO for reasons that I don’t want to understand. Oh and Raven won the Hardcore Title to bring that “division” to Raw. Let’s get to it.

Ric Flair joins us with the new WWF Undisputed Title and promises to make everything new. That includes signing Steve Austin to a new contract, which is indeed new and not someone we’ve seen for years who is way past his prime.

Opening sequence, including the debut of Across the Nation. I always liked that one.

We’ll see Kane vs. someone apparently named X-Pac. I say apparently because he doesn’t have a graphic.

Intercontinental Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Booker T.

Van Dam is defending and the big idea here is that we’re starting with a match. You know, aside from that promo that started the show. A hurricanrana puts Booker down to start and my goodness Van Dam is over. As usual, anything that lets the fans participate (such as the finger point) is almost a guaranteed way to get fans behind you.

Booker forearms him down and puts on two chinlocks less than four minutes in. You don’t often see Booker being that lazy and it’s rather surprising. Van Dam comes back with the usual but misses Rolling Thunder. The Spinarooni gets a huge pop and Booker nails a superkick, only to have JR distract me by saying “he’s not Buckwheat on crack.” There’s a line you would never hear today. Booker’s superplex is broken up and the Five Star retains the title.

Rating: C. Just a basic wrestling match here which isn’t exactly a rousing start to the new era. I like the idea of starting the show with wrestling and the match was fine but nothing we haven’t seen before. Van Dam always felt like the guy you put the title on so someone bigger can take it off him and Booker isn’t that person.

Post match Eddie Guerrero runs out for his return and beats Van Dam down. Now that makes things feel more important.

Here’s Vince McMahon as the Brand Split is already feeling unimportant. He’s here to sign Austin but let’s go to a break before Steve comes out. Back with security around the ring Lawler: “What are they out here for?” JR: “Security reasons.” Here’s Ric Flair to threaten to throw Vince out, arguing ensues and time is wasted until Ric sends out Big Show to carry Vince to the back. This took up WAY too much time and accomplished nothing.

During the break, Show literally threw Vince out of the arena.

William Regal vs. Spike Dudley

Regal’s European Title isn’t on the line. The evil referee takes away Regal’s hidden brass knuckles to start but Regal beats Spike into the ground anyway, including a sweet diving drop toehold. A half nelson suplex sends Spike outside as the announcers discussing folding similies. Spike comes back with some headbutts to the ribs and a quick Dudley Dog for the fluke pin.

Rating: D. I’m assuming this sets up a rematch for the title next week though just having Spike pin Regal doesn’t have me the most interested in them fighting for the title. Then again there’s very little that’s going to make me care about the European Title in the first place so they didn’t have the best chances in the world.

The NWO takes over the APA’s office, which has been moved from Smackdown to Raw despite the team being split up. Even the trash and table are in the same state after the brawl.

Post break, Crash tells Bradshaw what the NWO did. Bradshaw goes off to take care of it and Crash chuckles.

Terri yells at Trish for being all snooty now that she’s on the cover of the Divas Magazine. Flair comes up and makes a paddle on a pole match.

Debra won’t let Coach into Austin’s dressing room.

The NWO spray paints the APA’s door and beats up Bradshaw, who comes through the door like a gentleman, without much effort.

Hardcore Title: Raven vs. Bubba Ray Dudley

Bubba is challenging and they get right to the weapons, drawing the required ECW chants. Some elbows have Raven in trouble and it’s time to throw oranges (JR: “Not the citrus.”) at the champ, but not before Bubba does some juggling. Back in and Raven grabs a sleeper in a hardcore match so the announcers talk about the upcoming paddle match. A trashcan lid to the head puts Raven down for the middle rope backsplash and IT ACTUALLY HITS. Bubba looks stunned for a second before covering for two. The Bubba Bomb gives him the title a few seconds later.

Rating: D. So that’s the start of Bubba’s face run and I actually bought into it at the time. Looking back it might not be the best idea in the world but at least they’re trying to make new stars with Bubba and Bradshaw. As I typed that, the reality set in all over again and it’s clear that this was destined to fail but at least they were trying.

Vince is still in the parking lot (with a camera in his limo for no logical reason) and says he’s sent someone to get Austin for the signing.

Here’s Flair to present HHH with the new title. Flair praises HHH for his comeback but gets cut off by the Undertaker, who says Flair drafted him here to embarrass him. Undertaker brings up beating Flair at Wrestlemania XVIII. The fans keep up the WHAT’S so Undertaker it says if you keep saying WHAT you sleep with your own sister.

Back on point, Undertaker says he beat HHH the same way at the previous Wrestlemania so it sounds like Flair is trying to show him up. Violence is teased but here’s HHH to be the big hero. At least we get one last look at the awesome Attitude Era title. HHH, in that slow voice that only he can do, says he’s the Undisputed WWF Champion and that big belt says Undertaker can’t beat him again. A match is made for Backlash and Undertaker isn’t interested in fighting before then.

Hardy Boyz vs. Boss Man/Mr. Perfect

I guess Wrestlemania VII is all forgiven. Apparently the solution to Boss Man being the same character who hasn’t been over in years is to get rid of the “big”. A way too early Twist of Fate is broken up and Matt is in trouble. The veterans start taking over as JR sounds miserable talking about the upcoming women’s match. As is almost always the case in these TV matches, the beating only lasts for a few moments before the tag brings in Jeff. The Twist of Fate and Swanton are enough for the quick pin.

Rating: D+. So you know how the Hardys are one of the best tag teams of all time? Well they still are and they’re capable of beating a makeshift team who had only teamed together a few times before this. Boss Man and Perfect aren’t the most interesting guys in the world at this point and neither would be around much longer.

Post match Brock Lesnar comes out and destroys the Hardys to set up his first feud.

Terri vs. Trish Stratus

Paddle on a pole and they’re in bikinis. Thong jokes are made, puppies are requested and a bulldog allows Trish to get the paddle in just over a minute.

Before the paddling can occur, Molly Holly comes out and destroys Trish to give her a real match. Trish gets the paddle broken over her head to make it serious.

Vince promises he’ll get this done tonight. Like he promised last week was his last night on Raw.

Austin is here and tells Flair to let Vince inside so they can handle this after the main event.

We look at Kane’s amazing promo with Rock and Hogan. Rock being confused by Kaneannites is still great stuff.

Kane vs. X-Pac

X-Pac has Hall and Nash at ringside but Kane beats him up to start. Some kicks send Kane outside though Hall pulling the ropes down might have helped too. Nash adds in a big boot and X-Pac does his spinning heel kick, only to be launched out to the floor. Back in and the Bronco Buster has gets no reaction so Kane powerslams him for no cover. Kane finally has enough of the interference and punches Hall in the face, drawing the Outsiders in for the DQ.

Rating: D. I’ve been watching some Raw’s from 1996 lately and it’s amazing how different X-Pac became in the years since then. There was no fire here and it was a bunch of greatest hits, or as great as X-Pac ever got. I have no idea who thought Kane vs. the NWO was going to be entertaining and so far they’re being proven wrong.

Bradshaw comes in for the save and house is cleaned. For some reason Kane’s pyro fails, meaning two things had no heat here.

Here’s Flair for the Austin contract pitch. Before he can get very far, here’s Vince (JR: “No one walks like that.”) to say his intellectual sperm (Vince: “Yes I said intellectual sperm.”) that brought us here today. Vince takes credit for pay per view and growing the WWF to an international level. He also knew the Ringmaster wasn’t going to cut it and invented the Stone Cold character. This brings out Austin to ask Vince about the contract and play the WHAT game for a bit.

Austin reminds Vince of their history together and does some WHATing with Flair too. Austin asks if Vince had a chance to see this and flips him off. He’s intrigued by both offers because of both men’s success and agrees to sign with Smackdown. Austin tells Flair it was just business and asks where he signs. Before he does, there’s one more thing: April Fools. Vince gets a Stunner and Flair freaks out. Beer is served and Flair gets a Stunner of his own, followed by Steve signing with Raw to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. This Brand Split is in trouble early and there’s really no way around it. Raw has almost nothing going for it with the highlight of Austin who clearly isn’t all that fired up to be here. Most of the young talent is over on Smackdown and everyone knows it but Raw is the flagship and gets all the attention. There’s very little to talk about here and it wasn’t an entertaining night, which is hardly how you want to start things off.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s WWE Grab Bag at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: August 29, 2016
Location: Toyota Center, Houston, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

It’s a big night this week as we’re guaranteed a new Raw World Champion in a fatal fourway with Kevin Owens, Big Cass, Roman Reigns and Seth Rollins facing off for the title. It’s hart to say what we’re going to get at Clash of the Champions in about a month so hopefully we can start setting some stuff up tonight. Let’s get to it.

In Memory of Mr. Fuji.

We recap Balor’s shoulder injury and the setup for tonight’s title match.

All four World Title participants for the title are in the ring with Corey Graves moderating. Rollins cuts him off and says they’re all here because of him so he’ll cede his time to someone else. Owens talks about how he’s a prize fighter and tonight he’s fighting for a prize. That leaves Reigns, who Owens just allows to be booed.

Cass is tall….and that’s about it. Cass: “Did Jericho write that for you?” Cass says he’s the biggest dog in this fight, causing Owens to point to Reigns. Seth is glad that this is an elimination match so he can beat up all of them in one night. A brawl breaks out with Reigns and Cass having a staredown before the ring is cleared. I’m glad they kept this short since no one said anything important and it was just hype for the main event.

Neville vs. Chris Jericho

Before the match, Jericho says Owens will win tonight but promises everyone the Gift of Jericho. This is their first match since Neville broke his ankle back in the spring. A catapult puts Jericho on the floor early but he hides behind the ref to get in a cheap shot and send us to a break. Back with Jericho putting on a chinlock but diving into a kick to the ribs.

Neville moonsaults out to the floor and avoids a charge into the corner, setting up a small package for two. A superkick drops Jericho and I’m very surprised at how hot the crowd is despite such a big main event. The Red Arrow misses and the Liontamer make Neville tap at 10:50.

Rating: C+. I continue to be very glad that Neville can do more things than just the Red Arrow as those one spot guys can get lost in the shuffle quickly. Neville being a main eventer was a long shot at best but he’s fine in the midcard where he could pull off an upset and most people wouldn’t be that shocked.

Earlier today Bayley met the New Day and dancing ensues until Dana Brooke comes up, setting up a six person tag along with Gallows and Anderson. The key here: it didn’t feel scripted. Instead it seems like the producer said “Bayley runs into the New Day and you’ve got two minutes. Go.” That works so much better than scripting out the jokes and gives you entertaining things like this.

Nia Jax vs. Haion

Jax runs her over and finishes with an AA into a powerslam at 1:15.

Anderson and Gallows now run a retirement home and suggest that New Day will be joining Team 3D. Nurse Dana Brooke comes in and puts on a rubber glove.

Video on Seth Rollins.

Sami Zayn vs. Jinder Mahal

Sami has a bad ankle coming in and he tweaks it early on, allowing Mahal to smack him in the back of the head for two. A chinlock doesn’t go very far and Sami comes back with the Helluva Kick for the pin at 3:06.

Rating: C. I’m still waiting for an explanation of why they brought Mahal back. He’s fine enough for a warm body but of all people, Jinder Mahal? Anyway I’m assuming this is the start of something for Sami as the announcers kept talking about how he wanted the title. If Owens wins it tonight, there’s no logical reason to not do Sami vs. Owens at Clash of the Champions.

Earlier tonight Sasha Banks was on the pre-show, saying that Charlotte was trying to injure her and end her career. Sasha will be back for revenge and the title.

New Day/Bayley vs. Dana Brooke/Anderson and Gallows

Charlotte is on commentary and doesn’t think much of Bayley putting on a unicorn horn and eating BootyO’s. The women start with Bayley getting some quick two counts before working on the arm. It’s quickly off to Big E. for a belly to belly (gimmick infringer) on Anderson as the champs take over. That lasts all of a few seconds before the villains beat him down in the corner. The hot (or at least moderately warm) tag brings in Kofi for the Unicorn Stampede, including a running dropkick from Bayley. Some dancing sends us to a break.

Back with the camera on the commentators as the match is going on behind them. I smell Kevin Dunn’s fingers all over this. We actually look at the match to see Kofi in trouble and getting elbowed in the face. Kofi gets in a double stomp and makes the tag to Big E. for the house cleaning. Everything breaks down and Kofi does an insane dive over the top, nearly breaking his arm in the process. Back in and Dana gets two off a rollup, only to have the Bayley to Belly wrap it up at 12:28.

Rating: C+. The crowd was digging the heck out of this and I can’t blame them a bit. This was the perfect match for Bayley as New Day is over by definition and she fits in perfectly with them. Bayley gets another win to help set up her title match at Clash of the Champions and Anderson and Gallows save face. Good stuff all around and a fun match.

Cesaro says no one likes Sheamus so he’ll spin him around and around and around.

Video on Big Cass.

Cesaro vs. Sheamus

Match #2 in a best of seven series with Sheamus up 1-0. Before the match, Sheamus says he’ll prove that he’s just the better man. Cesaro takes him down to the mat to start and gets two off a double stomp. Sheamus’ arm is banged up and the announcers want the match stopped to check it. Thankfully it’s a dropkick to send Sheamus outside and we take a break.

Back with the Irish Curse getting two but Cesaro comes right back by hitting the springboard corkscrew uppercut. The high cross body connects (check your Bingo card) and Cesaro sends it outside. That goes well for Sheamus who backdrops him back first into the post, setting up the Cloverleaf for the submission at 11:15.

Rating: C+. Points for putting a story into the series with Cesaro’s back injury though I’m still having issues getting interested in even more of these matches. WWE has a real problem of just having the same match over and over and then wondering why it stops being interesting in the process. Make it best of three or just do a 2/3 falls match or something but having it go twice that long doesn’t seem like the best move.

Tribute video to Mr. Fuji and it’s as good as you would expect from WWE.

Video on Kevin Owens.

Braun Strowman vs. Americo

Standard masked luchador. It’s the squash you would expect with Strowman throwing him around and tossing him into the air for a faceplant and the pin at 58 seconds.

Strowman unmasks him post match.

Here’s Stephanie McMahon to address Shane McMahon getting F5’d at Summerslam, but first she has to say we’re about to crown the “first” Universal Champion. Paul Heyman cuts her off but Stephanie is right there to cut his balls off by demanding an apology. Heyman talks about how Lesnar provides value to Raw and is here to pay Lesnar’s $500 fine. He pulls out a pile of $1 bills but Stephanie throws them onto the floor. Stephanie wants to know what value Heyman offers to Raw and warns him of a coming storm.

Heyman goes into a rant about the board of directors and how Stephanie can control everyone but Lesnar. For some reason this turns into a discussion on female empowerment with Stephanie saying Heyman is staring at the women’s revolution. Heyman apologizes to her and she accepts before dropping the mic and leaving. With Stephanie gone, Heyman chuckles and smirks.

Video on Balor’s injury and surgery.

Video on Roman Reigns.

Titus O’Neil vs. Darren Young

The aggressive Young knocks Titus to the floor where he asks for a timeout. Back in and a hard whip sends Darren over the corner where he lands on a camera to break it into pieces. Some neck cranks don’t go anywhere so Young crucifixes him for the pin at 4:04.

Rating: D-. Can ANYONE explain why this feud is still going or why I’m supposed to care about them fighting over and over again? Neither guy is interesting and it seems like a character that exists for the sake of the Presidential elections and nothing more. Total filler here and it’s getting more and more annoying every match.

Backlund and Young celebrate so Titus beats them both up.

Mick Foley apologizes for not being out there for Stephanie but she didn’t need him. He suggests that everyone is barred from ringside tonight and again Stephanie says it’s the first Universal Title match. Rollins comes in and Stephanie wishes him luck.

Raw World Title: Big Cass vs. Kevin Owens vs. Roman Reigns vs. Seth Rollins

The title is vacant coming in and this is under elimination rules. Mick and Stephanie are at ringside as they should be. Cass says he’s shocking the world tonight. The bell rings after a break (THANK YOU!) and Owens immediately heads outside. The Cass vs. Reigns showdown is delayed again as the villains go after the big men and it’s time to pair off.

Seth and Kevin are knocked outside and we get the big showdown with Cass blocking the Superman Punch. A running big boot knocks Reigns outside with Cass falling out as well. Rollins dives onto Cass but Owens drops him onto the barricade, only to have Reigns dive onto Owens and Cass as we take a break. Back with Owens in control and getting two off the backsplash to Cass.

Reigns fights back with his string of clotheslines until Cass kicks his head off. They’ve done a really good job of making Cass look like he belongs here in the first ten minutes. A big boot puts Owens on the floor and the Empire Elbow hits Rollins. The East River Crossing is broken up by a Superman Punch and the low superkick gets two. Owens adds the Frog Splash to get rid of Cass at 13:46. I’m sure Saxton saying he thinks Cass can pull it off a minute earlier didn’t give that away for anyone. Also, I believe that’s the first time Cass has been pinned on the main roster.

Back from a second break with Reigns powerbombing Owens and Rollins for a Tower of Doom. Rollins’ falcon arrow gets two on Roman but the Superman Punch knocks Rollins out of the air for two more. Cole describes this as incredible action for the second time in about a minute.

Owens comes back in with a superkick to Rollins, setting up back to back Cannonballs for another big reaction. The crowd has somehow stayed hot all night and that’s a really good sign. The Superman Punch gets two on Owens and you can hear the crowd’s sigh of relief on the kickout. Owens’ Pop Up Powerbomb is countered with another Superman Punch and Reigns hits a quick sitout powerbomb for two on Seth.

A spear drops Rollins on the floor but here’s HHH of all people to Pedigree Reigns on the floor. HHH throws Rollins back inside for the pin on Reigns at 23:48 (POP!), meaning Rollins needs HHH’s help yet again. HHH throws Owens inside, Pedigrees Rollins and gives a shocked Owens the title at 25:05.

Rating: B+. This is a hard one to grade as they nailed the near falls and the drama to near perfection but I really don’t care for HHH being back AGAIN and presumably setting up HHH vs. Rollins and/or Reigns. That’s the standard problem with HHH: even if someone new is getting a big title win, it’s still about HHH for a long time. However, let’s get to the good part: KEVIN OWENS IS WORLD CHAMPION! Yeah that hasn’t quite sunk in yet but it’s actually happened and that is most certainly a good thing.

HHH leaves and Owens celebrates to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. Make no mistake about it: the main event is the ONLY thing on this show that mattered in the slightest. The only other thing of note was the really awkward Stephanie vs. Heyman promo and I’m still not sure what happened there. They did a really good job with the title match though (HHH involvement aside) and that’s all that matters on this show. A lot of this stuff is going to depend on the fallout but I’m very happy with Owens winning as he’s definitely the most logical option. Good show with a red hot crowd throughout helping it along.

Results

Chris Jericho b. Neville – Liontamer

Nia Jax b. Haion – Fireman’s carry into a powerslam

Sami Zayn b. Jinder Mahal – Helluva Kick

New Day/Bayley b. Dana Brooke/Anderson and Gallows – Bayley to Belly to Brooke

Sheamus b. Cesaro – Cloverleaf

Braun Strowman b. Americano – Faceplant

Darren Young b. Titus O’Neil – Crucifix

Kevin Owens b. Seth Rollins, Roman Reigns and Big Cass – Pedigree to Rollins

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s WWE Grab Bag at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01IH7O904

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: March 28, 2002
Location: First Union Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 13,600
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

With the Draft out of the way, this is the final regular episode of Smackdown with the full roster before things split up next week. That means it’s also the last chance for the wrestlers to make one last good impression against their interpromotional rivals. In other words it’s a lame duck show that they’re trying to pass off as something important. Let’s get to it.

Booker T. vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Of course this show starts with two guys from WCW. Fallout from Monday’s tag match. Booker stomps him into the corner to start so Page chops away. The Draft picks start running along the bottom as Page hits a helicopter bomb for two. Not that it matters as Brock Lesnar comes in to take out Page for the DQ.

Here’s Kurt Angle with something to say but we have to wait on the YOU SUCK WHAT chants because that’s how wrestling fans like their comedy. Angle thinks the people are pathetic, but not as pathetic as what happened to Stephanie on Raw. Kurt would like a special moment of silence and you can imagine his reaction when he’s booed out of the building. This brings out Vince to insult the fans and talk about HHH being the kind of model citizen that seduced and then humiliated his daughter. Then on Monday he beat her up!

Vince promises to take care of HHH and here’s the champ so Vince can make threats to his face. HHH promises to make Vince’s life miserable if Vince screws with him but decides Kurt is right: we should honor Stephanie, perhaps by looking at the end of Raw. That’s enough to make Kurt want a match against HHH tonight but Vince has a better idea: the two of them against HHH. This brings out Ric Flair to make it a tag match.

D-Von gives Bubba some exposition about the team splitting up if they don’t win the titles tonight.

Tag Team Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. Billy and Chuck

Billy and Chuck are defending and if the Dudleys lose they’re split up. On the other hand, if Billy and Chuck lose then they stay together, in theory at least. The questions I’ll never have answered. Bubba and Chuck start things off with Chuck being sent into the corner for some loud chops to the chest. D-Von comes in for some shoulders to Billy and it’s back to Bubba for some house cleaning. The Bubba Bomb gets two on Chuck and Rico offers a quick distraction, only to have the Doomsday Device plant Chuck. Rico’s second distraction works though and leaves Bubba to hit a Fameasser to retain the titles.

Rating: D+. So that’s it for the Dudleys in one of the most questionable moves I’ve seen in a long time. I get the idea of splitting up Edge and Christian and maybe the Hardys but who thought Bubba and D-Von could survive on their own? For the life of me I still don’t get the thinking behind that one and it’s yet another casualty of the Draft.

Bubba and D-Von destroy the champs with all the usual stuff one more time. There has to be a joke about Billy taking What’s Up. I don’t know if he had it coming in but Bubba’s eye (as in the eyeball itself) is full of blood. That’s quite the scary look.

The APA is splitting up and aren’t happy about it. Since it’s their last night together, they’re going to have a farewell bash. Tajiri is in charge of telling everyone and Torrie Wilson is in charge of playing strip poker.

Matt and Lita (interviewed by Lillian Garcia, who actually looked much better in her 40s) are so happy that they’re on the same show. Chris Jericho comes up and says no one should be happy since he can’t be champion again. Matt calls him a has been and gets jumped, likely setting up something for later tonight.

The Rock and Hogan call each other brother before talking about whether or not they can trust Kane in their six man tag tonight. Rock imitates King Kong Bundy and Kamala in a way to say yes. Dang it I was hoping for some more of those as there are multiple other Hogan monsters he could have done.

Anyway, Kane comes in and says it doesn’t matter if Rock is ready. In the most bizarre thing I’ve ever seen from Kane (and that’s covering A LOT), he does an amazing Hogan-style promo, saying it doesn’t matter if it’s 20,000 Hulkamaniacs, 20,000 of the millions or 20,000 screaming Kaneannites (Rock: “Kaneannites?”) because the three of them are going to run wild on the NWO. He even does the posing and the hand to his ear with the fans absolutely losing their minds over this. This was HILARIOUS with Rock looking somewhere between amazed, terrified and stunned.

Hulk Hogan/The Rock/Kane vs. NWO

Apparently Flair drafted the NWO so he could “keep an eye on the poison.” Wouldn’t it be smarter to get rid of the poison? Rock and X-Pac get things going with X-Pac in early trouble before it’s off to Hall. The bad guys (as in the team with the Bad Guy) take over with Nash hitting the knees in the corner but Rock shrugs them off and tags in Hogan. I know he’s considered lazy but he can do a hot tag like almost no one ever.

Nash gets in a side slam (no hair flip yet) and Hogan gets beaten down. Wait so Kane is getting the house cleaning spot? That’s an odd choice but I’m willing to go with it due to that pre-match promo alone. A belly to back suplex breaks up Hall’s sleeper and the real hot tag brings in Kane. The Fake Diesel hits the real Diesel as everything breaks down. Well most of it does at least as Hogan is just standing on the apron while his partners fight 3-2. It turns out fine though as Kane chokeslams X-Pac for the pin.

Rating: C+. This would have been a good house show main event and there’s nothing wrong with that. Hogan was looking energetic here (believe that one if you want to) and X-Pac was the only one with any kind of fire on his team. I know he gets a lot of flack for good reason but when X-Pac had his head on straight, he was one of the better workers on the roster. Did the NWO ever actually win a major match? They debuted at No Way Out, won a few TV matches and then lost both Wrestlemania matches. What a great stable.

Matt Hardy vs. Chris Jericho

They start fast, likely due to a lack of time. Matt sends him into the corner to start but gets crotched on top to slow him down again. Cue Lita for a top rope hurricanrana, setting up the Twist of Fate for two. Lita gets knocked off the apron and a low blow sets up the Walls to make Matt tap. Nothing match.

Jericho puts Lita in the Walls on the floor.

The APA party is going on and Torrie takes off a belly chain for her stripping. Christian freaks out over losing and destroys stuff.

Intercontinental Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Test

Van Dam is defending and gets dropped throat first across the top rope to start. A full nelson slam gets two on Van Dam as Lawler tries to figure out which brand has better looking women. Test grabs the ropes to avoid a sunset flip but we get the referee kicking his arms spot to give Rob a near fall. That earns Earl Hebner a good talking to so he does a fast count on Van Dam’s sunset flip to retain the title. Ok then.

Raven doesn’t care who he’s wrestling for because he’s destroying the things he loves.

Hardcore Title: Raven vs. Maven

Maven is defending and I forgot how much I liked his theme. Raven starts fast with the alternating trashcan lid shots to the head. Maven loses his balance on the ropes but gets two off a missile dropkick anyway. Here’s Tommy Dreamer to try to win the title but the distraction lets Raven grab the Raven Effect for the pin and the title, which now moves to Raw.

Angle tells Vince that he’ll help get Austin to Smackdown.

We look over the Draft lottery results, almost none of which are worth mentioning.

William Regal crashes the party to say the APA is out of business. A fight breaks out because it wouldn’t be right otherwise. Bradshaw puts up the “sorry, we’re closed” sign and they go their separate ways to what sounds like a standing ovation.

HHH/Ric Flair vs. Kurt Angle/Vince McMahon

Flair is in business pants. Vince and HHH start things off and I won’t even bother explaining why Angle and Flair come in a few seconds later. Kurt takes him into the corner to start and gets a thumb in the eye before it’s off to HHH. A quick belly to belly sends the champ flying but Flair comes back in with a sleeper. Kurt starts working on the knee and of course Vince is willing to get involved. Cole tries to explain the reason behind the Brand Split and it’s really getting worse with every word he says.

A few wraps around the post have the leg in trouble but there’s no way he’s going to get Flair in a Figure Four. I mean, he’s not Shawn or anything. Flair kicks Kurt low but the Figure Four is reversed into an ankle lock. Now Vince can get in the Figure Four, only to have Ric turn it over in a hurry. Angle is smart enough to make a very fast save before it’s off to the guys under 50. A spinebuster gets two on Kurt, only to have Vince hit HHH in the face with a belt for two. Flair actually hits the top rope shot to Vince’s head and goes for the real Figure Four but here’s Undertaker to lay Ric out and give Vince the pin.

Rating: D. Much like almost anything else HHH did around this time, this was slow, not very good, and could have been done better in less time. Vince pinning Flair doesn’t mean much and it’s not like Undertaker is going after anyone other than Ric, so this was pretty much the definition of “well, here’s a main event”.

Overall Rating: D. Hulk Hogan just had the runaway match of the night in 2002. This was a big commercial for the Brand Split as none of this matters (including a new Hardcore Champion) heading into the new WWF. Since there are almost no storylines here, everything other than Kane vs. the NWO and everything in the main event was filler. That’s not the way to make an interesting show but at least a lot of the matches were short.

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