Thought Of The Day Again: Self-Fulfilling Prophecy

So apparently WWE is worried about Ryback for not getting a big reaction last night in Brooklyn.  Gee, could that be because…..He hasn’t won a major match since he moved up to the main event?  He lost at HIAC, he lost at Survivor Series, he lost at TLC.  Yeah there were circumstances on the side every time, but at the end of the day he lost.  Every time.  But hey, it must be his fault because everyone loves to cheer for losers right?  On top of that, IT WAS FREAKING BROOKLYN.  You know, the place that boos Cena out of the building every night and thinks Daniel Bryan is the greatest thing since free refills.  Also they can ignore the Ryder chants, because his reactions don’t count right?




Survivor Series Count-Up 2012 Edition – 2007: Take Two Monsters, Lock Them In A Cell

Survivor Series 2007
Date: November 18, 2007
Location: American Airlines Arena, Miami, Florida
Attendance: 12,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross, Tazz, Joey Styles

This is one of those shows where there’s a little bit of something good and a little bit of something bad. First the bad: there’s Hornswoggle vs. Great Khali. The good though is Batista vs. the Undertaker inside the Cell, which almost has to be almost has to be good. Other than that the card looks fine and we’ve got Shawn in a world title match which is almost guaranteed to be at least decent. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about how this started twenty years ago, as you would expect it to. It also talks about the main event matches tonight, as you would expect it to as well.

ECW Title: CM Punk vs. John Morrison vs. The Miz

Punk is defending and Miz and Morrison are tag champions. The tag champions of course jump at the same time because one on one, neither have a chance to beat Punk. Punk kicks the tar out of Miz’s head and gets a quick two on Morrison. Both tag champions are sent to the floor where Punk takes both of them out with a suicide dive. Back in and Punk gets caught in a double suplex after the springboard clothesline fails.

Miz and Morrison double team Punk but Miz is the first of the heels to go extra heel, dumping Morrison out to the floor. He hooks a chinlock on Punk but has to let go to knock Morrison back to the outside. Punk kicks Miz in the head but Morrison comes back in with a backbreaker to the champ (as in the ECW Champ) followed by a cobra clutch (called a Japanese sleeper by Joey Styles because he likes to sound smarter than he actually is).

Miz pulls Punk to the floor and rams him into the concrete to get us down to the tag champions fighting. Morrison sends him into the corner chest first and hits the yet to be named Starship Pain for two. Punk comes back in and ranas Morrison off the top into a powerbomb from Miz in a SWEET looking move. That only gets two but it got a BIG reaction from the crowd.

With Morrison pretty much dead, Punk kicks Miz in the face for two and hits the knee/bulldog combo for the same. Punk hits a backbreaker on Miz but Morrison grabs a rollup and trunks on the champ for two. Morrison escapes the GTS but gets knocked to the floor, allowing Punk to hit the GTS on Miz for the pin to retain.

Rating: C. Other than that rana/powerbomb spot, this was only ok. Punk had to carry the whole thing, but you could see something special in Miz. It’s a little easier to see it now, but a buddy of mine said that he thought Miz would be the bigger deal because of this match. I’m not sure if I’d agree based on this match, but Miz did indeed look better than Morrison here. This was a pretty good choice for an opener, but the execution wasn’t great because Punk didn’t have enough to work with.

We recap MVP turning on Matt Hardy and taking out his knee. They had been partners for awhile before this but everyone thought MVP was evil the whole time, and this was the not very shocking turn.

MVP says that Matt won’t be competing tonight because he needs crutches to get by. That doesn’t surprise MVP, because Matt has always needed a crutch, be it either Jeff or MVP. Oh and he’s better than Matt.

Mickie James/Maria/Torrie Wilson/Michelle McCool/Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix/Melina/Jillian Hall/Victoria/Layla

One fall to a finish here and Beth is Women’s Champion. The Divas Title doesn’t exist yet which is how things should have stayed. Layla is WAY hotter being evil and Melina has some gorgeous hair. She also falls off the apron during her splits entrance which is worth a chuckle. The second attempt works and thankfully she’s smiling after screwing it up. Mickie and Maria are ridiculously good looking as well.

Victoria and Michelle start things off with Michelle taking over with a headlock. A big boot puts Victoria (Tara in TNA if you’re new at this) down and it’s off to Torrie who can’t wrestle a watchable match to save her life. Victoria kills her mostly dead with a side slam and it’s off to Layla who is so bad here that she can’t even beat up torrie. Kelly and Jillian come in and Jillian tries to scream a bit, only to get rolled up for two. Maria comes in, basically wearing a bikini.

Thankfully Beth comes in to flatten Maria before handing it right back to Layla. Actually make that Melina, who misses a charge at Maria and crotches herself, allowing for the hot tag to Mickie. James beats up everyone in sight, has her partners take out Beth, and hits the Long Kiss Goodnight on Melina for the pin. What’s the Long Kiss Goodnight you ask? That would be every 13 year old’s dream: Mickie literally bends Melina back and kisses her before kicking her in the head for the pin.

Rating: D. Yes, the match sucked. Yes, most of the women in this are horrible wrestlers. Yes, if you’re complaining about these things, you’re missing the point. This was pure fan service as you had ten girls in either tight or barely there outfits and one hot woman kissing another hot woman before kicking her in the head. If you’re looking for a wrestling match here, you’re in the wrong place.

Coach and Regal are in the back looking smug. Hornswoggle, who is Vince’s son at this point, is pacing very nervously. Remember that he faces Khali tonight.

Orton says history isn’t going to be made tonight. He’s going to beat Shawn because if Shawn uses the superkick, Shawn loses the match.

Shawn is here for revenge tonight because Orton has tried to hurt him and take his livelihood. Therefore tonight, Shawn is going to take the title.

Raw Tag Titles: Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch vs. Hardcore Holly/Cody Rhodes

Cade and Murdoch are defending. Rhodes is brand new at this point and spent weeks getting beaten up by Holly before Holly respected him enough to team with him. Cody and Cade start things off with the rookie getting hiptossed down. The crowd pretty much died as soon as the bell rang, which should tell you about the tag team situation at the time as these are the best Raw had for their belts.

Off to the very redneck Trevor Murdoch who chops away but gets caught in a headlock. Yeah Cody didn’t quite get anywhere as a worker for awhile. Holly comes in and is immediately beaten down by Cade. The crowd is reacting a bit so it’s not totally dead but it’s nothing special. The heels are sent into each other and fall out to the floor as Holly takes over. We actually get a HOLLY chant for the only time I can ever remember.

A rollup gets two for Hardcore and it’s off to Murdoch via a blind tag. Holly gets his head kicked off and things slow back down again. The champs tag in and out a lot before Cade picks up Murdoch to drop him down with a legdrop for two. We hit the chinlock on Holly which goes nowhere so Holly suplexes Trevor down. Cade misses an elbow drop but Holly still can’t tag out.

Cade tries that dropping Murdoch into a legdrop move again but as almost always is the case, it doesn’t work this time. Warm tag brings in Cody who hits a missile dropkick on Lance for two. Holly and Cade fall to the floor and Murdoch hits the stupid cousin of a Canadian Destroyer (much more like a sunset flip than a piledriver) to retain.

Rating: C-. Another so-so match here but at the end of the day, it’s Hardcore Holly and a rookie Cody Rhodes vs. Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch. That’s only going to take you so far as the fans aren’t going to care about it for the most part. I don’t get why they didn’t change the titles here as Holly and Rhodes would get the belts in a month (and hold them for SIX MONTHS) anyway.

The announcers explain the concept of a Survivor Series match to the uninitiated. That’s something you hardly ever see anymore: a basic explanation of WHAT IS GOING ON. Sometimes you need to slow things down a bit and tell people what’s going on. If you’re flipping through the channels and see something flashy like wrestling, you’re likely to stop but if you have no idea what’s going on, you’re not likely to stay. Gorilla Monsoon was a master at doing this.

Team HHH isn’t worried about being down 5-4 coming into the match (Matt was hurt remember) but Kane says he isn’t an underdog. We recap the Katie Vick angle (HHH: “Uh…..yeah sorry about that.) and Jeff reminds HHH that he put him in the hospital. HHH is sorry about that too and says tonight they can unite in the idea of doing something terrible to someone else.

Team HHH vs. Team Umaga

HHH, Kane, Jeff Hardy, Rey Mysterio

Umaga, Mr. Kennedy, MVP, Finlay, Big Daddy V

Kennedy’s mic doesn’t work for the live intro at first so we can only hear the ending. Jeff is IC Champion and MVP is US Champion. Remember that we’re starting at 5-4 because Matt is gone. Rey and Kennedy get things going with Kennedy using a rare power advantage to take over. Kennedy pounds in the corner but gets caught in a sunset bomb before it’s off to Jeff for a BIG pop. Rey and Jeff combine for some Poetry in Motion and Kennedy is in trouble.

Scratch that trouble as Jeff runs into an elbow (JBL: “That’ll knock the purple out of your hair!”) and it’s off to MVP. MVP limps a bit which apparently is a fake injury or something. Or maybe he’s making fun of Matt Hardy. I never cared for MVP so I really don’t care. Off to the 550lb Big Daddy V who uses his big fat man offense on Jeff, before stupidly throwing Jeff to the corner for a tag to Kane.

V almost immediately belly to belly suplexes Kane down for two but Kane comes back with some clotheslines in the corner. A top rope clothesline puts V down again but Kane has to chokeslam Finlay. V hits a Samoan Drop and a big elbow on Kane for the upset (yeah it’s an upset) elimination. HHH comes in and hits the facebuster on the monster but gets caught by a clothesline to shift the momentum right back.

We get the match that everyone is looking forward to in HHH vs. Umaga and the fans don’t react at all. Umaga takes the Game down with a belly to belly of his own and a headbutt has HHH in trouble. Umaga misses a middle rope headbutt and there’s the hot tag to Rey. Rey pounds away but almost immediately gets knocked down by the other monster. Mysterio goes after the leg but a rana is just a bad idea. Actually it is as he swings Umaga into the 619, followed by a springboard seated senton for two. Umaga is like BIG SAMOAN SCREAM and hits a spinning release Rock Bottom and the Spike to eliminate Rey.

So it’s all five villains vs. Jeff and HHH, and it’s not that the two superheroes are likely to run through all five and win or anything like that of course. Jeff vs. Kennedy starts things off and Hardy is in trouble quickly. I don’t think Jeff really gets going until he looks like he’s been thrown out of a building though. Jeff comes back with a dropkick but the slingshot dropkick in the corner misses due to an MVP assist. Cole talks about how that’s the second time MVP has caused that move to miss in three days. JBL: “Maybe MVP is just smarter than the Hardys.” I love it when JBL cuts Cole off at the knees. No one does it better.

Off to MVP who hooks a chinlock on Jeff which goes on for awhile. Jeff fights up but gets gets caught in a fireman’s carry drop. MVP starts talking trash to the fans and walks into a Twist of Fate to make it 4-2. Kennedy is in next and walks into an enziguri, which allows for the tag off to HHH. A high knee sets up a clothesline for two for HHH followed by a spinebsuter. HHH sees the human whale known as Big Daddy V coming and avoids an elbow which crushes Kennedy and allows HHH to make it 3-2.

V gets both superheroes on the floor and crushes Hardy against the post which probably put Jeff on the harder stuff for a few days. What the harder stuff for Jeff is I’m not sure but it has to be illegal. Back in the ring HHH and Hardy avoid a charge in the corner and hit a double DDT on V for the elimination. I’ve always wondered how basic moves when a monster is fresh is enough to eliminate them. These guys have no stamina at all.

It’s HHH/Jeff vs. Finlay/Umaga if you’re keeping track. Finaly comes in and pounds away on HHH while JBL talks about how great Finlay is. Does anyone ever have a bad thing to say about this guy? Here’s something bad to say about him: he does the stupidest looking spot in wrestling where he goes the middle rope and jumps into a boot in a move that is only designed for him to jump into a boot.

Hot tag brings in Jeff for a hard (and appropriate) Irish whip into the corner and the slingshot dropkick for two. Jeff goes to the apron and is immediately drilled by Umaga to give the evil foreigners control again. Finlay whips Jeff into the corner but gets caught by a Whisper in the Wind. A mule kick staggers Umaga and there’s the hot tag to HHH to meet Finlay. The high knee puts Finlay down and there’s a spinebuster to follow it up.

The Pedigree is loaded up but Umaga kicks HHH’s head off (there must be a great surgeon in WWE for all the times that happens) to break it up. The Celtic Cross (White Noise. It’s an Irish thing) is escaped and there’s the Pedigree to make it 2-1. Umaga DESTROYS HHH in the corner but the running attack misses by a mile. Pedigree, Swanton, we’re done.

Rating: B-. The match was pretty fun stuff but once we got down to 5-2, it was a matter of guessing what order the five were going out in rather than who was going to win. That being said, it’s probably the right move as HHH would move on from Umaga after this and take to feud with Orton. That feud would follow Hardy vs. Orton at the Rumble, so this was definitely a launching pad for the two survivors back to the main event.

Buy Smackdown vs. Raw! For some reason when they do the HIAC on the game as you would expect them to, Batista has a Smackdown tag title, a title he hadn’t held in almost two years, instead of the world title he currently held.

Shaquille O’Neal is here.

Hornswoggle is still nervous in the back. Tonight’s match is another of those tough love things from Vince. Speaking of the boss, he comes in and Hornswoggle immediately hugs his leg. This is one of those things that I think WWE missed about Horny: he acts like a child. HE HAS A FULL BEARD! THE GUY IS IN HIS TWENTIES! HORNSWOGGLE IS NOT A CHIL……why am I annoyed by this? It’s Horswoggle. Vince says he made this match because Horny is a McMahon and therefore has to rise to the occasion. He compares this to his battles with Turner and the US government. Vince gives him a pep talk and Horny is ready.

Here’s Shane McMahon to the arena, rocking a suit. Shane introduces Vince and apparently they’ll be in the corner of Horny tonight. Well that’s nice of them. JBL says this is going to be Biblical. Cole: “This isn’t the Bible.” Vince isn’t in his headset either. That’s the natural reaction that Cole has. Why does he get to keep his job for so long?

Hornswoggle vs. Great Khali

Runjin Singh, Khali’s manager, says we should have the wrestlers get together for the reading of the rules. This results in Singh talking over the referee as he translates. The fans want Shaq but they get the bell instead. The fans realize Shaq is here and Vince tells him to sit down. Vince tells the fans he doesn’t care what they want. Now there’s a shoot if there’s ever been one. Horny takes off his jacket and hat and kicks Singh in the face. Horny kicks at the legs of Khali…and wisely runs away. Singh runs his mouth some more and gets GREEN MIST IN THE FACE!

Horny dives on Singh and pounds away before hiding from Khali under the ring. The small guy finds that Irish club and calls Khali in but the stick is of course caught. Khali kicks him down but before the Vice Grip can go on, Finlay runs in for the save and face turn. This ran over three minutes but it doesn’t deserve to be rated. At least this did serve a purpose though, so it’s not a total failure. It should have been on Raw though.

Finlay beats up Singh and Khali with the club. It would eventually be revealed that Finlay was Horny’s father, but I’m not quite sure why Vince agreed to the whole thing in storyline.

Watch this DVD about Taker being 15-0! I guarantee you it won’t be out of date in about six months or so!

Alfonso Soriano, a baseball player, is here.

We recap Shawn vs. Orton. Shawn had the title won in a previous match but Orton intentionally got himself disqualified and then Punted Shawn to the shelf for a few months. Shawn admitted he wanted revenge but Vince banned the superkick for no apparent reason other than being evil.

Raw World Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Randy Orton

Orton is defending, if Orton gets DQ’ed the title changes, Shawn can get no more shots if he loses, and if Shawn attempts to use the Superkick, he loses the match. Got all that? Shawn almost immediately goes to the cravate and Orton spends nearly two minutes trying to fight out of it. Now that’s a (European) headlock. Orton escapes in the corner and Shawn raises his leg for the kick but the referee says that wasn’t an attempt. It’s going to be one of those referees I guess.

Orton drops down as Shawn runs the ropes so Shawn gets on Randy’s back and chokes away. The hold switches to a front facelock as they’re spending a lot of time in holds so far. Randy finally gets to the floor where Shawn fakes diving over the top so he can dropkick him through the ropes before faking ANOTHER dive and hitting an Asai Moonsault in a good sequence. Back in and Orton rolls through a crossbody for two before hitting an uppercut to take over.

Shawn fights up and throws on the required Sharpshooter and Orton finally makes the rope. I know when holds go on I’m not very descriptive, but what is there to say? You know what the hold looks like and it’s really hard to convey the drama of someone crawling to the ropes. Orton comes back with a thumb to the eye and snaps Shawn across the top rope to take over. The Elevated DDT hits for two. I didn’t remember Randy doing that move back then.

It’s off to a chinlock by Orton as the hold marathon continues. It’s not boring or bad but it’s a very different way of going about a match. Shawn fights back but walks into a dropkick for two. Shawn catches another dropkick in mid air and slams Randy down a few times before hitting the top rope elbow for two. By instinct, Shawn tunes up the band but he fakes Orton out by making him duck and grabs a rollup for two. Brilliant psychology there.

In a move I was shocked to see at the time, Shawn puts on a Crossface. Remember that this is just five months after Benoit, so that’s not a move you would have expected to see here. Orton finally gets a leg over the rope and Shawn looks spent from that not working. He tries the hold again but Randy clotheslines his head off for two. Orton hits the backbreaker and loads up the same Punt which kept Shawn out for five months.

Randy gets a running start but Shawn grabs an ankle lock with a grapevine to make Orton scream. Orton uses the good leg to kick Shawn away and break the hold. Why don’t more people do that to angle? Michaels tries the Figure Four but Orton kicks him into the post. Shawn pulls up the foot for the kick but since he has to stop, Orton hits the RKO for the pin to retain the title.

Rating: B. I was digging the psychology here as Shawn had to come up with all kinds of ways to beat Orton instead of the RKO. It says a lot about Shawn that the only way they could have Orton be able to hang in a fight with him was to take away Shawn’s big move. Orton would hold the title for another five months or so until HHH (of course) took it away from him.

Orton demands that Shawn say Orton is the future but Shawn is pretty out of it. There’s the superkick we were waiting on.

Cole is talking about the main event and SAVE US. For those of you unfamiliar, this was a series of videos that popped up at random on shows with what looked like the Matrix announcing that someone was coming to SAVE US. It would be revealed tomorrow night that it was the return of Chris Jericho.

The Cell is lowered.

We recap Batista vs. Undertaker. Batista lost the belt to Undertaker at Wrestlemania and they feuded for the title on a few PPVs. After a cage match on Smackdown, Edge cashed in the MITB contract and won the title from Undertaker. Later, Edge was hurt and had to vacate the belt, which was won by Khali. Batista eventually beat Khali for the belt and Taker came back to challenge him for it.

They fought at Cyber Sunday with Batista winning, which made them 1-1 with a few draws. Taker wanted one more match and Batista was perfectly cool with that, but Taker wanted it in the Cell. See how that worked? It was a natural progression with the Cell being the FINAL match between them (one on one at least). That’s a logical progression that you rarely get anymore. This was an excellent feud which won Feud of the Year from Meltzer. I can’t argue with that at all as it was great.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. Undertaker

Big Dave is defending. Taker charges to start and is caught in a headlock before getting run over by Big Dave. Taker shrugs it off and tries an early chokeslam but Batista fights out of it. This is one of those feuds where you don’t bother with the basic stuff and go with the big power moves because that’s all that’s going to have any effect. Taker clotheslines him down and pounds away in the corner. We’re still in the early going here so this doesn’t mean a lot yet.

The Snake Eyes and Big Boot get two for Taker and it’s chair time. Batista hits a BIG spear to take Undertaker down and gets the chair. That goes badly for the champ as Taker kicks the chair back into his face and gets two off a clothesline. They head outside and Taker keeps control with a solid shot into the steps. Batista gets raked against the Cell and there’s the legdrop on the apron.

To stay on the throat, Taker puts the chair over Batista’s throat and slams the bottom of the chair into the steps. The champ is bleeding from the mouth now. Back in and Taker covers by driving a forearm into the throat. Taker is kind of the heel in this match I think, which says A LOT about how over Batista was here. Back in Taker loads up Old School but Batista catches him in the spinebuster in a cool counter.

They slug it out and Batista takes over with a clothesline that gets two. Batista hits a powerslam and takes it back to the floor. They’ve done a solid job here of having both guys dominate for a long stretch which usually works well for a big time match. Taker whips Batista into the Cell to take over again so maybe what I just said is nonsense. Batista gets rammed head first into the Cell and things are starting to pick up.

A chair shot keeps Batista down and the champ is cut open on the forehead. Batista blocks Old School again and hits a superplex to put both guys down. As Big Dave is crawling over to Taker, the Dead Man tries the Hell’s Gate (triangle choke) but it’s not on full. Batista makes the rope and heads to the floor for a breather. Has Batista never watched a big time Taker match? He deserves the Taker Dive that he gets.

Taker picks up the steps and tries to ram Batista with them, but Batista pulls himself up using the cage and kicks them back into Taker’s face. Batista picks up the steps and just rams Taker in the head with them four or five times, busting the Dead Man open. Back in and Batista does the stupid thing of punching Taker in the corner and gets a Last Ride for his efforts. That only gets two and the pop isn’t huge from the crowd. They know we’re getting A LOT of finishers before a pin here.

There’s a chokeslam but it only gets two. The Tombstone is countered into a spinebuster for two and there’s another spinebuster for good measure. It’s table time and Batista easily powerbombs him through it….for two. There’s the pop from the crowd on the kickout that we were looking for. Now the Animal loads up the steps but Taker backdrops him onto said steps for two. The Tombstone hits….for two. If my memory is right, Batista and Shawn are the only two people to take all three of Taker’s finishers and kick out of all three. Batista might have done it more than once but I’m not sure.

Taker KILLS Batista with a Tombstone on the steps but at two, someone pulls the referee out of the ring. It’s the returning Edge, who I presume was hiding under the ring. He steals a camera and clocks Taker with it before hitting a Conchairto on the steps. Batista has no idea this is going on after the Tombstone. Edge pulls the champ on top and the pin is pretty much academic.

Rating: B+. This was very good but it never quite got to that level that they were hoping for it to I don’t think. The problem is this was match was based on respect instead of hatred which takes a lot out of a match like this. Edge would win the title in a triple threat next month and eventually lose it to Taker at Wrestlemania.

After the Cell is raised, Edge beats on Taker some more to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. This was a nice surprise. The tag title match is some uninspired stuff but other than that (ignoring the non-match between Khali and Horny) there’s nothing bad on here at all. The Divas match is what it is and if the worst thing I have to do is look at Kelly Kelly and Maria in barely there shorts for five minutes, I’ve got a good show on my hands. The big matches delivered and the other matches aren’t bad so this is a solid show all around and worth checking out.

Ratings Comparison

CM Punk vs. John Morrison vs. The Miz

Original: B-

Redo: C

Mickie James/Maria/Torrie Wilson/Michelle McCool/Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix/Melina/Jillian Hall/Victoria/Layla

Original: D

Redo: D

Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch vs. Hardcore Holly/Cody Rhodes

Original: D

Redo: C-

Team HHH vs. Team Umaga

Original: C-

Redo: B-

Great Khali vs. Hornswoggle

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Randy Orton vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: D+

Redo: B

Batista vs. Undertaker

Original: A-

Redo: B+

Overall Rating

Original: B-

Redo: B

The main thing I’ve learned about myself from these redos is that I was a lot looser with my grades back then. The redo grades here are a lot more toned down and it’s a bit harder to please me now.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/16/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-2007-batista-vs-undertaker-in-the-cell/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




Thought of the Day: Referees Used In Storylines

Given the recent storyline of Brad Maddox, this got me to thinking.  Do you like the use a referee in a storyline?To me, it’s hard because other than a crooked one, there isn’t much of a storyline you can use for them.  They tend to be best kept in the background, as they’re supposed to be impartial instead of interfering in an angle.  A crooked referee can work, but as with anything else they need to be used sparingly.  I wasn’t a fan of Maddox, as most of the story is based around him going into business for himself, and his mere existence in the match is a plot hole.

 

Thoughts?




Themed WWE PPVs Possibly Ending

Word on the street is that Vince has finally caught up to reality and is realizing that the themed PPVs don’t add much.  So what does this mean?This can only be a good thing.  At the end of the day, there’s almost no reason to follow a calendar instead of following the logical progression of the stories.  Look at Taker vs. HHH when the Cell was announced.  It came out of nowhere and it worked really well.  It wasn’t what I was expecting but it also made sense while also making me want to see the match.  That’s a great thing which you can’t get with the themed shows happening at the same time every year.  Good call on this.

 

Thoughts?




John Cena Possibly Wrestling At HIAC

 

My thoughts:Geez I hope not. Cena has been a part of this story, but this needs to be Ryback vs. Punk.  They need to throw Ryback out there and see what they’ve got, and having Cena out there is going to overshadow that.  Also what does it help?  They don’t have time to advertise him for the show.

 

Thoughts?




No Way Out 2000: A Forgotten Main Event On A Forgotten Classic

No Way Out 2000
Date: February 27, 2000
Location: Hartford Civic Center, Hartford, Connecticut
Attendance: 12,551
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is more or less about one thing: Hell in a Cell. If Cactus Jack loses, he retires. Other than that there isn’t a lot to talk about. Oh actually there is. At the Rumble, Big Show had been thrown out but claimed that Rock was out first. Tonight there’s a match where the winner goes to Mania. The Radicals are here now also so we have a fully fleshed out roster for this era. This is a direct request from X and others so let’s get to it.

The opening video is all about Foley vs. HHH as Foley’s dream is to go to Mania. This was a very emotional time actually as honestly no one was sure what was going to happen since more or less no one believed they would retire Foley without letting him main event Mania. On the other hand though, there was little belief they would do a title change. Also there was no way of knowing what the main event at Mania would be. This was a very interesting time indeed.

Intercontinental Title: Kurt Angle vs. Chris Jericho

Angle is European Champion here but it’s not on the line. Jericho is IC Champion and has Chyna with him. She has that giant phallic gun with her. I wonder if she was trying to say that yes, I am indeed a man with that. Jericho gets a GREAT pop. Please Vince, give us a Jericho title run with him as a face.

Angle is apparently an idiot, an ignoramus, and an imbecile. Jericho has an I of his own: the Intercontinental Title. That’s simple but the delivery is what makes it. Naturally this starts off fast paced as the Attitude Era was still around for the most part. Meaning of course, we go to the floor.

These two plus Benoit always had mad chemistry together and it was clear they were the future. Well kind of I guess. Jericho was. Benoit….maybe. Angle is hard to place in a pantheon of greatness. Crowd starts an ANGLE SUCKS chant. That’s ahead of its time as Edge hasn’t started the more famous chants yet.

I know I haven’t given much commentary here, but dude, it’s Angle vs. Jericho. Do I need to tell you that this match is awesome? Jericho hits that spinning heel kick that he does quite well at. In a lucky botch, Jericho messes up the follow through on the forearm but he landed on Angle so it looked intentional.

As Ventura said, sometimes it’s better to be lucky that good. They go into some swank submission vs. pinfall stuff and it’s sweet stuff. Angle gets the Slam out of nowhere when it was A, still a legit finisher (ankle lock was still about 5 months away) and B, MUCH faster and harder, gets two. We get a Liontamer which shifts into the Walls. Angle goes to get a belt and swings at Chyna. She gets rammed into the steps.

I’m no doctor but it seems to be a bad case of dramatic convenience. My diagnosis would be a short apology to Jericho. Possible side effects include a brief bit of jobbing. Take a Lionsault and call me in the morning. Back in the ring, Angle gets the belt up to block the Lionsault for the pin and the title to make him the 2nd Eurocontinental Champion. Another referee comes down to do nothing of note.

Rating: B+. This is another pairing that gets a higher than normal starting grade. Just based on who they are, they get an automatic B. This was a very nice opener as you have two guys that you know can go and it worked out fine. Again though like I’ve said before, it’s Angle vs. Jericho. Did you expect anything worse than a good match?

The Dudleys say there will be another title change tonight. This was when the Dudleys were still insanely awesome.

Tag Titles: Dudley Boys vs. New Age Outlaws

So the Outlaws are more or less the biggest team ever at this point and this is just another title defense against the Dudleys who took the company by storm. Think Sheamus vs. Cena from TLC. Lawler randomly barking at Road Dogg is rather funny for some reason. After the normal intros we start with a big brawl of course.

The crowd is pretty hot but you can tell they’re saving themselves for the main event. Billy beat Bubba on Thursday and put him through a table. Road Dogg does his dancing punch and Bubba does what someone with intelligence would do (the irony of that stuns me) and DUCKS.

We get a What’s Up but it’s not named yet. This match is very short, as in like 5 minutes long. The Dudleys dominate for the most part until the required big brawl at the end. On the floor, Bubba blasts Gunn in the arm with a pipe. That legitimately injured him, putting him out of action for about 8 months.

When he got back Road Dogg was with K-Kwik (R-Truth) and Gunn got a singles push. Therefore unless there was some random reunion, this is the last New Age Outlaws match. Bubba realizes something is wrong and runs into the ring for 3D and the tag titles. This was a legit shock as more or less NO ONE thought the Dudleys had a chance.

Rating: D+. Way too short to be much of anything which I’m pretty sure was because of the injury. That happens so you do what you have to do. This would set up the triple ladder match at Mania and the first TLC match at Summerslam as wrestling started the HOLY CRAP period of gimmick matches. Yes I know ECW did them first but theirs were far sloppier and became clichéd. Ok to revise it so I don’t get yelled at: the holy crap period started in the mainstream. There.

Apparently Billy was hurt coming in and got hurt worse during the match. Got it.

We get a short package on Mark Henry vs. Viscera. Oh dang it they’re fighting over Mae being pregnant and Viscera hurting her. For those of you that don’t know about this angle, consider yourselves VERY lucky. If you ever hear a joke about a hand, this is what we’re talking about. We’ll leave it at that.

Mark Henry vs. Viscera

Be quick I beg of you. They flat out say this isn’t going to be a pretty match with JR mentioning the star system. They destroy the steps with Henry taking a beating. Yeah I don’t care either. We get references to babies and I change the subject immediately. Basically Henry is getting destroyed. And here’s Mae Young for the save. After she gets shoved down, Henry hits a shoulder block which Viscera gets up from first, and a slam, yes a slam I say, gets the pin. What were they freaking thinking here?????

Rating: F-. Oh do I really need to explain this?

Jericho says he’s mad at Angle, not Chyna. Dang I want to see that sweet triple threat from Mania now.

Gunn’s shoulder is still hurt.

Hardy Boys vs. Edge/Christian

Again, do I need to tell you that this is going to be good? Terri bought the APA to protect her from the Dudleys earlier. I guess the tag team she has already, the Hardys, aren’t good enough? Both teams are faces here. I love Edge and Christian’s music. Edge jumps Jeff to start.

At least you can tell the Hardys apart now as they’re wearing different colors shirts. Has anyone ever adjusted their set before? Is there a need to tell fans not to do that? The shirts go off and the fans cheer. They need Lita badly, they really do. She’ll hook up with them in about 3 months.

The Hardys are seeming a bit heelish here but they’re wildly popular so there we are. These four were in an 8 man tag on Smackdown which apparently makes them familiar with each other. Yeah that’s stupid. In a nice spot, Christian does a drop toe hold on Edge into Matt’s groin.

Lawler asks where Edge was aiming. JR: THE GROIN! It’s funnier than it sounds. Edge gets a nice piledriver on Jeff but it’s not Memphis so it just gets two. It’s a more solid match than I’m making it out to be. It’s nothing great but all four guys are hustling and it’s coming off good. You have to remember this is a fresh match at this point so it’s far more interesting.

It’s so weird to think that Edge and Hardy would be having world title matches in like 9 years. We get the double tag to Christian and Matt Hardy as this match is getting some solid time. In a slick spot, Edge is on Matt’s shoulders with Christian behind them. Jeff jumps over Edge as he hooks a victory roll and lands on Christian in a cross body for a double cover. SWEET. Poetry in Motion is countered into a spear. This is awesome stuff.

Terri turns on Jeff and shoves him off the top rope for no apparent reason. She slaps Matt and the move that will become known as the Unprettier gets the pin. It’s weird seeing all these moves with no names. Apparently Terri wants to join Edge and Christian. They leave her. That made them number one contenders I guess. Yeah the APA did absolutely nothing here. Matt goes after Terri and NOW the APA do something.

Rating: B+. Just like the opener, this was solid stuff. This was over fifteen minutes of awesome though so I was very happy. Solid stuff all around with four guys that were taking the tag division to new levels that hadn’t been seen in about 15 years. Great match.

Edge and Christian show some signs of issues but they’re happy they’re going to Mania for the title shot.

Show is will Lillian. She BARELY comes up to his chest. He says he should be going to Mania and we see Rock’s feet hitting first again. That’s really impressive when you think about it.

Big Bossman vs. Tazz

Yeah remember when Bossman was fighting for the world title two months ago? Neither do I. Bossman and Albert jumped him on Heat for no apparent reason. Taz is still over at this point and was supposed to get Benoit’s push but Hardcore Holly screwed up a spot at Mania and put Taz on the shelf. They start in the aisle of course. Taz hooks an armbar on the floor. He’s a submission master at this point also.

MAYBE a minute in Taz gets the Tazmission and Bossman is more or less done so Albert makes the save. A nightstick attack follows. Was there a point anywhere near this? Tazz keeps fighting back. If you want to make him look tough, have Tazz destroy both guys in a minute or so. Seriously, I have NO CLUE what the point of this was. Boss Man breaks the nightstick over Tazz’s head. This went nowhere that I remember. Tazz gets up AGAIN as this isn’t making him look awesome or anything. It’s freaking stupid at this point.

Rating: W. For WTF was that???

Angle is in the cheap seats celebrating with a bullhorn.

We recap Kane vs. X-Pac because the massacre at Armageddon wasn’t enough to blow off the feud I guess. This was one of the feuds that made X-Pac so hated. It just kept going on this theory that Pac could fight a monster. I mean this angle went on for about 6 months.

For those that haven’t read my Armageddon review, Kane DESTROYED Pac in a cage match. If that had ended the feud, it would have been ok. They kept it going though with Tori, Kane’s girlfriend, left him for X-Pac. It’s a great example of an angle that went on too long. Oh and Paul Bearer is back.

Kane vs. XPac

It’s No Holds Barred. We get a clip of Kane being hit with a flamethrower. You know Kane, maybe when you see a guy that hates you holding A BIG METAL GUN, you shouldn’t stand in front of him. Kane is in the reversed color outfit here, making him look awesome again. Yes I’m a big Kane mark so there you go.

They fight up by the entrance where there’s a random metal garbage can. Does anyone actually have those? We have big green plastic ones. It’s a total brawl so far which at least makes sense with the stipulation. We get Bearer vs. Tori. Ok then. Pac is wrestling in a t-shirt which is gone by the time that line is typed.

Bronco Buster hits. I hate that move. That’ll end that. X Factor barely keeps Kane down. That could have something to do with the fact that it ABSOLUTELY SUCKS. Top rope clothesline looks awesome. Chokeslam hits and you can feel Tori coming. Yep there it is. She gets a tombstone and Kane picks up the stairs for no adequately explored reason. They’re kicked into his face for the pin. The blowoff for this was of all things Rikishi and Kane vs. Pac and Road Dogg. Yeah it was an odd pick, but so was all of Mania 2000.

Rating: C+. Not bad for a brawl, but still there was no point to this after Armageddon. I mean Kane beating up Pac is always fun, but the angle just makes limited sense to me. Bearer was worthless here so at least some things never change. It’s not bad, but at the same time you scratch your head over it.

The Radicalz are ready for their PPV debut. Eddie is hurt here after shattering his arm in his WWF debut. They all say something. This is rather worthless.

Too Cool/Rikishi vs. Radicalz

It’s Benoit, Saturn and Malenko in case you weren’t around at this point. Rikishi hadn’t quite gotten to his mega push yet but it was coming. It sucked beyond belief, but it was coming. Guerrero has a lead pipe for no apparent reason and gets beaten up before the match starts. Saturn and Grandmaster start us off. Why do I get the idea that these three guys are just not good enough to be in there with Benoit and Malenko?

Rikishi has a bad leg here so the Radicalz show intelligence by GOING AFTER IT. Seriously, why do wrestlers have such issues with figuring that out? There’s a nice dichotomy here with three well schooled and master technicians vs. three more or less comedy characters that are ok in the ring. That’s rather interesting when you think of it.

Rikishi is rather over if nothing else. That Rikishi Driver of his is just awesome. It looks freaking devastating if nothing else. It connects on Saturn and we get the Worm. We hit the messy stage which was destined to happen here so there we are. Saturn takes ANOTHER finisher, this time the guillotine leg drop from Grandmaster. Benoit hits the headbutt for the save and everyone goes to the floor. The Driver hits on Malenko and the visual of him just stopping is great. A Banzai Drop ends it. Naturally we dance for a bit.

Rating: B-. This match worked for one reason: Too Cool and Rikishi just wrestled for the most part. It wasn’t about comedy or a stupid gimmick or anything like that. It was a six man tag match and it came off pretty well. At the end of the day, good old fashioned wrestling is going to work better than anything else. This match right here is pretty much proof of that. It’s not great, but given who was on the face side, this was great.

Angle is STILL celebrating. The early months of his career were just freaking epic.

We recap Rock vs. Big Show which is very simple: Rock was out at the Rumble but got the win anyway. The match is for the title shot. Simple yet effective, and brilliantly done.

Big Show vs. The Rock

This is around the time when Show was still pretty good. If you’ve never seen it, go check out his 95/96 stuff. He’s a totally different guy than he is now and the difference is staggering. Rock gets a great pop as the super-push continues. Here’s something you likely wouldn’t guess: Show is just three months older than Rock. I NEVER would have guessed that.

Show has been around forever but he’s only 37. That’s hard to believe. He debuted when he was 23. That’s amazing. He really was a big deal when he jumped I guess as while he was a former WCW Champion, his reigns never were very big deals.

Granted they weren’t in WWF either. We’re on the floor now which is fine for a match this big. Show gets a press slam and drops Rock on the railing. That would HURT. After standard stuff between these two, another referee comes down, followed by Shane. Rock Bottom hits but Shane knocks Rock out with the chair, turning heel and siding with Show. That’s enough for the pin and the Mania title shot. That kind of happened, but not quite as you likely know.

Rating: B-. Not bad but really more advancing a story than about the match. Rock was about as hot as anyone on the planet at this point though so this was just continuing that hot streak as it wasn’t bad at all. Show winning was a real surprise though so I have to give them credit for that one.

We recap HHH vs. Cactus. You know the story, but more or less they’re feuding and it’s Title vs. Career. HHH said Foley could have any match he wanted, but if Foley lost he was done. When Foley said Hell in a Cell, the arena lit up. After the street fight classic they had, everyone knew this was going to be epic.

Angle, singing We Are the Champions, is thrown into a car trunk by Jericho and Chyna. That’s just awesome. The song not the beating.

WWF Title: Cactus Jack vs. HHH

In case you’re a freaking idiot, remember that this is Hell in a Cell. Seriously, why does Fink have to announce that? Here’s a hint: BIG FREAKING CAGE! The cage coming down over them is just epic. Oh there’s a subplot here: Cactus swore he would jump off the top of the cage but the Cell is HEAVILY locked. Here we go. Jack starts off in control here and hits a running jumping forearm. Yeah I was shocked too.

It should be noted that the crowd is kind of into this but not really at all. In his book, Foley mentions this and thought it was a sign that no one cared about him possibly being gone forever. Foley’s shirt is really torn already. On the floor, HHH gets the steps ready for the running step spot. However, he doesn’t hit it. HE FREAKING THROWS THEM AT FOLEY! That was just AWESOME looking.

The fans think Stephanie is a sl**, but still are relatively quiet. Chair time. In a funny moment, HHH takes a shot to the balls with a chair and Lawler says STEPHANIE! Double Arm DDT on a chair for a long two and….NO REACTION. Spinebuster on the chair and HHH gets two.

Foley said he was panicking here as he thought they were just failing in the eyes of the fans. They’re not dead silent but one of Jack’s finishers on a chair got a whimper. On the floor Foley gets a nice slingshot to send HHH into the cage. And now it’s Foley cranking it up. It’s been a very back and forth match and HHH is busted.

Foley does the chair dive off the middle rope to the floor and the fans are waking up. Seriously we’re about ten minutes in and they’re just NOW waking up. Foley picks up the steps and throws them at HHH (nice bit of continuity there) and HHH ducks (nice psychology there). He misses though and it hits the cage, breaking it. The roof is officially blown off. In his book, Foley said it hit him all at once: the fans were smart.

They knew the match wasn’t ending in the cage. They knew Foley and HHH were going to fight all over ringside including likely going to the top of the Cell. That makes a ton of sense. If you know the match isn’t going to end in the ring, why really care that much? In short, they didn’t. They were just waiting for Foley to find a way out of the cage and he just did.

We hit the floor and Cactus hits a piledriver on the table. A huge Foley chant starts up and Cactus starts climbing with HHH still on the table. Fans are WAY into it now. Stephanie makes the save just before Foley finds the 2×4 in barbed wire. Oh yes. A quick shot to the head and Foley is dominating. And HHH is climbing the cage out of fear of Foley. The crowd is losing it. Oh and the 2×4 is up there too.

Foley has his hands on top but HHH slams Foley’s head into the 2×4, and we get AIR FOLEY as he falls through the, say it with me, SPANISH ANNOUNCE TABLE! He gets up before HHH can get down the cage. HHH is STUNNED. Foley tries to throw a chair up top but he can’t get it up. That’s an odd segment but for some reason it’s interesting. He gets to the top but walks into a barbed wire shot. Everyone is just waiting for the big spot here. Everything up there is terrifying as you never know what’s going to happen.

The corner of the cage breaks and HHH nearly falls through. We get a suplex on the top of the cage. Foley gets the 2×4 again, and in the words of Bubba Dudley from Rise and Fall of ECW, “Why don’t we just light it on fire?” The fans have NO idea what to think of this but they love it. He lays it on the Cell and gives a sign for a piledriver. It’s reversed and Foley goes through the Cell and THROUGH THE RING.

Remember, that’s from a good 12-15 feet up. HHH gets down and CACTUS GETS UP. HHH loses his mind over that and beats him down again. Pedigree hits and that’s finally it. DANG . Back in the day, especially after Show won, there was NO predicting who would win this. Epic match. Foley gets the big sendoff, and while he would get a reward of being in the main event of Mania, not even he knew that at the time. If I remember right he found out a week before the PPV, so it was a legit shock.

Rating: A+. It never ceases to amaze me how they find new ways to use the Cell. First it was Taker stalking Shawn, then it was a total eruption, and now a hybrid where Foley is this unstoppable monster in there with HHH afraid to fight but it’s a massacre anyway. Either way, this was a great match with Foley going out in a classic, jobbing like he did better than anyone else. Excellent match with a great ending and some GREAT spots. The pops were off the charts and the whole thing is just great.

Overall Rating: A. I was about to push the – key but I couldn’t do it. This is a VERY good show all around. There are some bad spots like the Taz beating and the battle of the fat boys but they’re a combined 8 minutes max so how much can I complain? Some very good matches, but this is one of those shows where you get more than the matches add up to.

There’s a feeling here that it’s hard to describe, but you’ll know it if you see the show. Of the matches with meaning, there aren’t any bad ones. Easily worth seeing and a very good show that I enjoyed a lot.

 

 Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




Thought Of The Day: Smackdown And The Main Event

I know the brand split is basically dead, but this is ridiculous.The last time Smackdown had a main event of a PPV (excluding the Rumble which isn’t a Smackdown match) was Hell in a Cell 2010.  I know Smackdown is the lower level show, but wouldn’t it help a bit to have them close out a show once in awhile?  You’ve already sold the show, so does it really matter if the Smackdown match goes on last?  Especially if you have a somewhat weak Raw main event?

 

Is there a reason for this that I’m not getting?




Hell in a Cell 2010: I Believe This Is The Last Show Smackdown Main Evented

Hell in a Cell 2010
Date: October 3, 2010
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Matt Striker

This is being written the morning after the show aired so I do know the results before the review is written. The two week “build” for this show makes me think it’s going to suck. We also only have five scheduled matches for tonight so there wasn’t much to set up coming into last night. The Cell should be enough to make the show draw is what WWE is thinking I guess but the buyrates would beg to differ. Let’s get to it.

Guess what the video is about. Just take a guess.

The set looks cool as it has a bunch of stuff designed to look like a Cell wall. I like that.

US Title: Daniel Bryan vs. The Miz vs. John Morrison

Apparently this is a submissions only match even though the name is just submissions count anywhere so it’s a bit misleading. Pretty clear Bryan is going to retain here even though he comes out second. Miz has the jacket back again too along with a mic. He’s called the Kenny Powers of the show and since he’s one of my favorite posters that’s a good sign. Miz says without him no one would know who the other guys are. He might be onto something there actually.

Both faces chase Miz to start us off and we get the standoff. Bryan gets a leg lock on him after a nice little wrestling sequence and we go to the floor without it being broken. That’s a nice little touch. We hit the formula of two guys fighting while the other is down. Morrison hits the Tarantula but Bryan makes the save. He then locks in Cattle Mutilation for like 4 seconds which probably blew up the IWC even though it wasn’t anything that special. A leg bar gets a bigger pop if that tells you anything.

Miz grabs a similar hold in an attempt to counter and they kick each other in the face a lot. Morrison hits Starship Pain (not called that for some reason) onto both guys to break it up. Haas of Pain (LOVE that hold) by Morrison is broken up by Miz. Corkscrew plancha hits (and I use that term VERY loosely) Miz and we head into the crowd. Miz gets a wristlock and Morrison breaks it up by punching Miz in the face. That’s always awesome.

Bryan is gone and in the ring for a good while here as the former tag team fights up the stairs. Miz gets a sick looking Dragon Sleeper type hold around a barricade and Bryan makes the save. I know I say that a lot but that’s what we’re getting a lot of: a hold for a few seconds and a save. We fight up to the stage a bit with Miz in control. Morrison throws Miz behind the stage and uses the barrier for a springboard to kick Bryan.

Miz literally shoves an anvil case at Morrison to take him down. This is kind of hard to call as it’s not quite a mess but there’s no flow to it in sight. Bryan is more or less dead on the stage after Miz shoves him on the anvil case. We get it: Morrison does some French training. You don’t have to explain it to us every 9 seconds. Skull Crushing Finale to Morrison on the floor and he’s out cold.

Bryan and Miz get into a wrestling sequence on the stage and it’s a double clothesline. Morrison is up somehow and climbs up the lighting grid and climbs onto the Cell set. BIG DIVE takes both of them out. How often do you get a THAT WAS AWESOME chant in WWE? See what happens when you have the young guys do their exciting stuff? Jomo gets a Texas Cloverleaf on Miz but here’s Riley for the save. A cameraman gets taken out giving us the eternally fun camera shot. Miz goes after Bryan while Riley has Morrison preoccupied and walks into the LeBell Lock for the tap out.

Rating: B-. Fun here but the quality was a bit weak. I absolutely don’t get the point of the submissions count everywhere aspect but it wasn’t horrible or anything. It was rather spotty at times but never boring which is the point of an opener. This was a pretty solid match and things seemed to work well enough. The big spots got the crowd going which is the best thing they could have done. Best possible choice for an opener.

Cole admits Bryan is for real. He toned down the Miz love in this match and it helped a lot. The repetition of stuff isn’t his fault for the most part though so I can’t blame him for that.

Ad for Legendary. I’m surprised this is the first one since we’re almost 25 minutes into the show.

We recap Orton vs. Sheamus, which really shows how stupid it is to have a Cell match for the sake of having a Cell match. Consider the first two matches. The idea of Michaels vs. Taker was that Shawn kept escaping Taker or having help from him. Shawn’s psychology in that match is some of the best ever as he was running the whole time and getting in shots where he could. It was like he was trapped in hell and this was Taker’s ultimate revenge.

The second was Mankind vs. Taker where the idea was they absolutely hated one another. The match happened so that they could absolutely annihilate each other and one man would not leave the Cell on his own. Those matches WORKED. This match is happening between two guys that aren’t fond of each other but are having this match because the schedule says we need to have it. Cena vs. Barrett could have a point to it as that feud has been going on for months. Taker vs. Kane belongs in there. This should be last man standing or a regular cage match or something, not Hell in a Cell.

Raw World Title: Randy Ortonvs. Sheamus

This Cell is taller and a bit more narrow. This stat sums things up very well: last year’s HIAC show was on October 4 so in one year we’ve had 5 Hell in Cell match. In thirteen years prior to that we had 16. That sums up this era better than anything I can tell you. Also tell me how this sounds: Sheamus is in a Hell in a Cell match. I like Sheamus but he DOES NOT belong on this level yet.

Another interesting stat: Orton is the only person to ever win the title inside the Cell. That’s rather surprising actually. Yeah they cover themselves by saying Orton is the only person to win the WWE Title in there. Unify the freaking belts already. Having two world champions is so freaking stupid sounding. Also there is a Hell in a Cell match second on the card. Does this just sound wrong to anyone else?

Loud RKO chant to start. I didn’t know there were so many old movie fans in today’s audience. Striker talks about speaking with HHH via e-mail. Holy subtle hint Batman! Yeah I’m stretching here since the first 15 minutes of this aren’t going to mean anything since this isn’t going to end quickly at all. We head to the floor for about a second and the stomping begins for two. NICE slingshot shoulder block by Sheamus to take out Orton.

Orton gets rammed into the cage on the floor and Sheamus breaks out the steps. Now Orton gets a shot with them and we head back into the ring. There’s no heat to this at all as it just doesn’t belong in there. It’s a glorified street fight with a cage thrown in for fun. Striker explains why the ribs are a good thing for Sheamus to go after since the RKO is a bit weaker if the ribs are hurt.

Turnbuckle is ripped off as Sheamus is in control. He gets a gutbuster onto the steps which have gotten far more focus in this match than the cage so far. And now, in a match based around terror and chaos and pain, we get an EVIL chinlock. Cole points out that Orton is the champion and Sheamus is the challenger. Well usually when one is champion the other is the challenger so at least he can follow basic concepts. He’s reached the level of an average 4 year old!

Orton makes his comeback and the fans get behind him again. The crowd is rather hot here which is a very good thing and is helping this match along. They want an RKO apparently. Backbreaker out of nowhere and Orton slaps the mat. Make sure there’s an orthopedic specialist in the building! There come the stairs again as Striker points out how stupid it is to use the steps when he’s surrounded by steel.

Orton counters again and hits a powerslam on the steps. IT’S NOT A SCOOP SLAM COLE! It’s good for two either way. The elevated DDT on the steps of course doesn’t hit but the one on the floor sort of does. RKO is blocked and Orton hits the post. This isn’t a bad match but it’s just boring for a Cell match. Make this a street fight and it’s far better. Irish Curse, the backbreaker, hits on the steps. It’s on Sheamus’ knee though so do the steps make that big of a difference?

Brogue Kick gets two and Sheamus’ face is AWESOME looking as his eyes bug completely out. A bunch of chair shots get two. A big chair shot misses and Orton gets the RKO to pop the crowd. The pale one rolls to the floor though so we don’t get a cover. Punt misses and there’s a second Brogue Kick on the floor. We’re just transitioning from move to move here with nothing in between it. RKO on the steps ends it. I’d buy that a lot more if Sheamus’ head actually hit the steps but you can’t have it all I guess.

Rating: D+. For a street fight this is about a B or a B+. For a Hell in a Cell match this is just ok at best. It was a street fight (and a good one) inside the Cell. That doesn’t mean it’s good for what it was supposed to be. This was supposed to be a huge war inside the Cell and by definition, hell. This wasn’t the case here and while the match wasn’t horrible at all, this should NOT have been a Cell match. Like I said, make this a street fight without the Cell and it’s VERY good.

Orton climbs the Cell afterwards and poses with the belt. Cole wants it renamed the Viper’s Playground. Striker in a near deadpan voice: “Not yet.” Striker is the voice of reasoning. That’s almost scary.

Ad for Bragging Rights ad. It’s in three weeks. OH JOY! It’s also the night after a Lesnar fight. Yeah that’s not going to bomb at all. Nexus is advertised for it too.

Josh has the NXT girls in the back and they’re asked if they’re nervous. Nexus interrupts them thank goodness.

Alberto’s ring announcer brings him out. Again, his announcer has an announcer. That’s saying a lot. I do wonder where they get these cars. Cole wants to have his babies I think. Lawler wants to know if he can push 1 for English. That was rather amusing for a change. Alberto talks about beating up Rey and Christian. Gee wouldn’t Rey vs. Alberto be nice tonight? Some basic hometown sports jokes don’t really work.

Cue Edge’s music as Cole complains. Striker says Edge has over a dozen championships. He has over two dozen but why play him up I guess? Yeah he’s a face now. Edge runs down the stupid things Alberto has done which are rather true. They get into a Spanglish argument of all things. A Canadian is arguing with a Mexican in an American ring. The first W is indeed correct. And here comes the All American-American. HE MADE THE SAME JOKE I DID!

Swagger points out that the mascot on Smackdown was in fact a human and not a real eagle. Could they please decide if he’s a serious or comedy character? Swagger jumps him and Alberto bails. We have an e-mail and this is a match now. The computer has been upgraded it seems. Edge has to make a public apology tomorrow on Raw but this is a match right now.

Jack Swagger vs. Edge

Good thing Edge was in his wrestling gear. Swagger dominates to start as he had an advantage before we started. Swagger goes for the ankle which makes sense twice because of Edge’s ankle injury and the ankle lock. He keeps Edge on the mat and is in complete control. We hit the apron and Swagger tries to hit a German to the floor. Add that to the international joke from earlier.

When that of course doesn’t work because it would nearly kill Edge he switches to an abdominal stretch using the ropes. Edge’s eye is swollen up. Ankle lock is attempted as we touch on the ankle injury again which Lawler almost sarcastically says you told us that already. Edge gets us to even but gets caught in the ankle lock on the floor. The running up the corner belly to belly is blocked as Edge hits a missile dropkick, which is a pure face move.

Kind of an odd match here. It’s certainly not bad but it’s not that great for some reason. Belly to belly by Swagger but his arm is hurt. Swagger might be bleeding from the mouth a bit. Vader Bomb misses and Edge gets the Edgecution. Spear misses and Swagger gets the powerbomb for TWO. I don’t remember anyone ever kicking out of that. I think they mistime something as Swagger goes for a Dragon Screw Leg Whip while Edge goes for an Enziguri, making it look AWFUL. Ankle lock goes on but Edge gets a quick counter and spear for the pin. That ended very fast after the knee thing so maybe they were just playing it safe.

Rating: C-. Nothing that great here but it was VERY refreshing to see a match between the two shows. This is a fresh match we haven’t seen before and it wasn’t that bad. It was far better than seeing the same guys fighting again as it actually wasn’t predictable. That’s something WWE is sorely lacking anymore and switching the rosters up dramatically could work wonders for them. Match was a high level TV match.

Otunga has a plan to help Barrett.

Recap the Nexus angle which I’m sure you’re all familiar with by now.

John Cena vs. Wade Barrett

If Barrett loses Nexus is disbanded. If Cena loses he has to join the Nexus. It’s kind of amazing that this is I believe his 5th singles match and his first PPV singles match. You can’t say they’re not pushing this guy to the moon. Long feeling out period to start us off here. Cena gets his dropkick for his first big offensive maneuver. Barrett drops an F Bomb but not an audible one.

We slug it out a bit and Cena sets for the FU but Slater comes out as a distraction. Barrett throws the Nexus out which is an interesting touch. Barrett controls and hits a second rope elbow drop for two. Their colors are now black and gold instead of black and yellow. Neckbreaker gets two as Barrett is finally getting to showcase his offense. This is already his longest match and it’s not even 8 minutes long.

Dueling chants begin and you can tell it’s mainly men shouting for Barrett and higher pitched voices chanting for Cena. Cena makes his comeback and he initiates his finishing sequence. Nexus surrounds the ring as the definition of interference is getting kind of shaky here. Big Show comes out and leads the charge of the locker room who come out to beat down Nexus. It says a lot when it takes about 15 people including Big Show to beat up four glorified jobbers. And it’s not jobbers coming out to beat them up. You have guys like Show, Kofi, Ziggler, Bryan, Hart Dynasty and MVP, as in former and current champions.

Wasteland is blocked and this is a pretty solid back and forth match. Also it’s good that they got rid of the Nexus about halfway through. FU is blocked and Barrett hits a butterfly suplex for two. Boss Man Slam gets two. Fameasser off the top is blocked the first time but Cena gets it for two. Barrett gets Wasteland out of nowhere for two. Cole is WAY into this. Lawler says something and I had forgotten he was there.

FU hits out of nowhere for two as we’re into the good part of this match now. STF goes on as Cena looks extra quick here. Cole is SCREAMING at Barrett to tap out. A planted fan runs into the ring, allowing the guy that appears to be Husky Harris to pop up and blast Cena in the head, allowing Barrett to get the pin and kill the souls of millions of children. This is likely Otunga’s plan, which he didn’t run past Barrett.

Rating: B. Solid match here with the ending working rather well. The Nexus wasn’t really involved all that much here and it helped a lot I thought. Barrett looked VERY impressive out there with a nice offensive moveset and solid ring presence. This was better than I expected and things worked very well here. Good match and it sets up some stuff for the show in the upcoming weeks. Also Harris and potentially another member joining is a good thing. Good match.

Nexus puts Barrett on their shoulders as the celebration is on. On a replay the fan that distracted things appears to be Michael McGillicutty but I can’t tell for sure. The fan that hit Cena was definitely Harris but he’s not named. Cena takes a long time to leave and various ages of fans are STUNNED.

Paper Jamz ad, the same from….two weeks ago.

Josh is in the back and runs into Paul Bearer. He cuts a short and cryptic promo about having his own master plan.

Make-A-Wish package from Smackdown.

Divas Title: Michelle McCool vs. Natalya

Michelle looks good in her gold shorts if nothing else. Striker tries to claim Michelle is the best in ring working woman ever. I’m not even going to make a joke about that because it’s not fair to make fun of people that stupid. Michelle dominates for a bit with leg based offence but Natalya takes over with power stuff. This is rather boring if you couldn’t tell. Michelle accidentally drills Layla and Natalya gets a rollup for two. Sharpshooter goes on, is countered into a heel hook and is countered again. Then Layla throws in her shoe for the DQ.

Rating: D-. Yeah I don’t care either. Boring match and not very good.

Recap of Taker vs. Kane which I’m sure you know by now also.

Smackdown World Title: Kane vs. Undertaker

Taker coming out with Paul Bearer just feels….right. They brawl outside of the Cell to start and Kane controls. Apparently this is before the match starts. Ah there we go. There’s the bell. Kane gets a chair from under the ring and beats the hell out of Taker. We fight on the floor again and this is more of a brawl than a match WHICH IS THE FREAKING IDEA. Lots of leg work by Kane which makes sense here.

A big boot eats cage though and Kane is in trouble. Taker hits the leg drop on the apron but Kane gets his low dropkick. The boo/yay stuff starts up as this is kind of a boring match. Old School is attempted so Kane hits him in the leg. Top rope clothesline connects but Taker grabs Hell’s Gate. Kane clearly taps but no one calls it. It’s not completely on and Kane gets to the floor to escape.

We get a double sit up and Taker’s eyes are awesome. More boo/yay stuff as neither can get control. Running DDT by Taker gets two. Chokeslam hits for Taker as his knee is fine all of a sudden. Kane does the same for two. Kane goes for ten punches in the corner, you know the counter, and it gets two as well. WOW that was a horrible powerbomb. Kane reverses a Tombstone into one of his own and the crowd is into it.

And there’s an uppercut for the slow counting referee. The referees come down to get him out so Bearer can slip inside. Bearer goes after Kane and Taker sits up. He gets another chokeslam and does the throat slit sign. The lightning and thunder kick on and a light comes out of the urn. Bearer shines it in Taker’s eyes and we have a standoff. Bearer of course hands it to Kane and Taker, like the idiot that he is, stands there and gets his head bashed in by Kane who hits a chokeslam to retain. A closeup of his face on the ramp ends the show.

Rating: D. Just like the previous match this was a horrible Cell match but not a terrible match overall. The problem again is the lack of violence and the lack of use of the Cell. However this one was even weaker in those areas than the first one, somehow making Sheamus vs. Orton far better. As I said that one would have been a very good street fight but this would have been boring no matter what.

These two getting 20+ minutes is just not a good idea. Their best match ever was two weeks ago when it was just a big freaking brawl. Them trying to have psychology in their matches and the leg work is always bad and this was no exception. For once though the heel turn makes sense so points for that. Seriously though, how stupid is Taker for trusting Bearer AGAIN? Did he say, “Hey Paul, sorry about that whole burying you alive stuff. We’re solid right?” The heel turn was logical here so I’m fine with that at least. Rating would have been about the same Cell or no Cell.

OverallRating: B-. This show wasn’t great but it certainly wasn’t boring. They had a show here where stuff kept happening the whole three hours and it worked pretty well I thought. The double Cell thing is still incredibly stupid and them talking non-stop about how epic it was just made it worse but that’s to be expected. This looked like a disaster on paper but we got a solid show out of it. I don’t think it’s as great as people have said it was, but this worked FAR better than I expected it to. Fairly good show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

 

 




What Happens In The Cell?

Ryback vs. Punk in the Cell for the title is the main event of HIAC.  That opens a lot of doors.At the end of the day, I can’t imagine Punk not being champion at the Rumble to face Rock.  Now the question is will he be champion the entire way through the next few months?  This is where the Cell becomes an issue, because otherwise the answer would be Ryback destroys Punk but Punk walks out and leaves the arena to save the title in fear.  The Cell stops that from being an option, so the question is what do they do now?

 

The only thing I can see happening is Lesnar running in and attacking Ryback, setting up a match between them at TLC or the Rumble.  if Ryback is going to lose in there, he has to lose by an inch and due to every method of cheating, illegal tactics, interference, and whatever else you can think of.  Oh wait that can’t happen because it’s the Cell.  Gee, MAYBE IT’S A FREAKING BAD IDEA TO HAVE THE CELL GUARANTEED WHEN YOU HAVE NO IDEA IF THE MATCH YOU WANT CAN HAPPEN IN IT!  EVER THOUGHT OF THAT VINCE???

 

Anyway, the more I think about it, the more I think Ryback wins the title and then loses it in another gimmick match likely involving Punk and Cena at TLC.  I mean, they wouldn’t do Rock vs. Ryback………….would they?

 

There’s one thing I’m sure of: I honestly do not know what is going to happen at TLC and I can’t even lean one way or another.  That happens very rarely in WWE and I LOVE it.

 

Thoughts?




Cena Injured, Doesn’t Seem To Matter

Cena had elbow surgery today but it doesn’t seem to make a difference as he’ll only be out 2-3 weeks and the PPV is in about 6 weeks.  See what happens when you give yourselves some space between PPVs?  Good things can happen.