Summerslam 2005
Date: August 21, 2005
Location: MCI Center, Washington D.C.
Attendance: 18,156
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, Michael Cole, Jonathan Coachman

The main change can be summed up in one word: Cena and Batista. They took the world titles at Wrestlemania and haven’t looked back since. Other than that, there’s not a lot of differences. The main changes would be the alignments of some faces and heels. Eddie is now a heel, as is Orton, who was getting to the tweener stage last year. Edge is also full heel now, but that deserves a special mention later.

The main event however has none of those people to worry about. Tonight, the main event is a clash of two titans. Ok maybe more like a titan against Zeus, as Hulk Hogan meets Shawn Michaels. Now this wasn’t much of a rivalry as much as it was a challenge. At Backlash, the two had teamed up to fight off the evil of Muhammad Hassan and Daivari.

Then on the Fourth of July, Shawn superkicked him to end Raw, leading us here. To say the promos that Shawn did leading up to this were hilarious is the understatement of the year. Anyway, that’s the undisputed main event and also a source of controversy which I’ll get to later. Anyway, let’s get to this. Oh yeah one last note: due to the draft, the titles have switched shows.

Lillian sings the National Anthem which is awesome as always. You can see how much she puts into it and it’s awesome.

The video is great here, although that may be because it’s set to Remedy by Seether, one of my all time favorite songs. We get the usual highlights of the feuds, but then once it looks like we’ve done them all and the song plays for a bit, Shawn kicks Hogan to bring it to a dead halt. It’s just really well done and highlights all of the matches that are coming up tonight.

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. Orlando Jordan

Jordan is champion here. Jordan won the title from Cena about 5 months ago. He really never did much with the title other than have some bad looking boxing moves, despite being a decent boxer as an amateur. He beat Benoit at the Great American Bash but had to use the turnbuckle to do it. This is Benoit’s rematch.

The Crippler gets a great pop. Always interesting to see a guy go from main eventing to opening the show. Wow I forgot how annoying Jordan was. That all being said, this match lasts 25 seconds. Here’s the whole match: They lock up, Benoit takes him to the corner, Jordan punches him once, Benoit hits the German, crossface, new champion.

Rating: N/A. This was AWESOME. The crowd was losing it as soon as he got the crossface on and so was I. I won’t give it a rating but if I did, instant A. The crowd is completely fired up now and they think they can’t miss a thing now. GREAT way to start the show. I loved this.

Since there was next to nothing to say there, here’s the aftermath of it. They would have three rematches. One would last longer than this, clocking in at an earth shattering 49.8 seconds. It led to some very funny segments with Benoit trying to find things he could do that lasted longer than the match. Again, this was AWESOME.

Eddie is in the…HOLY CRAP IS THAT VICKIE??? She’s got red hair, a MUCH nicer voice and is thin. Ok, now I could see him marrying that. I’ll go into what they talk about later, as the angle is without a doubt the dumbest I’ve ever seen and deserves its own discussion.

There are soldiers there from the military hospital. That never stops being cool.

We recap Edge vs. Matt. Holy crap where do I begin here? This is one of the best stories of all time. Notice I didn’t say storyline there, because it was a real event. Matt and Lita were dating, and she left him for Edge. This became public knowledge and Edge kept teasing that Matt would come and beat him up for it.

Matt was at ROH for awhile, and then in what was one of the most shocking things I can ever remember, Matt showed up on Raw from out of nowhere, stunning everyone including the IWC by shouting that he’d see everyone at Ring of Honor. Yes, ROH was mentioned by name on WWE television.

The key to this was simple: the announcers weren’t told it was coming. How in the world are they supposed to respond to it? It threw everyone off and was a huge success as NO ONE saw this coming. If you want to credit Edge’s rise to the top to one thing, this is it.

Matt Hardy vs. Edge

To say Lita looks good is like saying Sly is an ok debater. She’s looking extra hot here, with the jeans and bra but her stomach is all muscular and thin. I can easily see why a fight would break out over her. Edge is just about booed out of the building. The pop for Matt is huge. If there was ever a time that he should have been pushed to the moon, this was it. This is likely to be a shoot and not a regular match. Yep, it’s a shoot.

If this was a work, then give these two freaking medals. I know at least some of those shots were legit. This might be the hardest hitting match I’ve ever seen. Other than a spear through the ropes like he did to Foley, everything is a strike that you might see in a UFC fight. Matt’s head gets opened up and after a bunch of stiff shots to it, the referee stops it. I know that part was a work, as it’s a bad cut but not horrid.

Oddly enough, Matt would go on to cleanly win the next two matches before losing to Edge in a ladder match and having to leave Raw. It looks bad now, but he would redeem himself. The replay shows that the post spot where Matt got cut was a work, as he more or less crawls forward to get in position. Even still, very fun match.

Rating: B+. For what it was, this was great. For a wrestling match, it was BAD. However, I loved it for how brutal it looked and how great Lita looked, so while a lot would go the opposite here and I wouldn’t argue with them, this was fun. It wasn’t good, but it was fun.

There’s two songs apparently, a very bad pop/rap song and Remedy.

And now we have arrived. What we have next is without a doubt the WORST angle I have ever seen. Before I do the recap, allow me to quote Tony Chimmel’s announcement of the next match.

“The following contest is a ladder match FOR THE CUSTODY OF DOMINICK!”

Yes, the stipulation here is that the winner of this match gets custody of an 8 year old boy. Here’s your story: Eddie and Rey were tag team champions yet for awhile they had some one on one matches and Eddie never won. All of a sudden he started talking about a secret, which clearly was that he was Rey’s son’s real father. Eventually they had a match at the Great American Bash where if Eddie won he would get to tell the secret, but if he lost it stayed a secret.

Rey won, but on Smackdown Eddie just said it anyway which was something that I loved. Either way, Eddie gets custody of Dominick but is willing to put it on the line in a ladder match for one more chance to beat Rey. Dominick is at ringside with his social worker, just to make this even more ridiculous. One final note: Rey Mysterio is a lucky man, as his wife is smoking.

Rey Mysterio vs. Eddie Guerrero

This, as I said, is the dumbest thing I have ever heard of, but the match should be good. Tazz and Cole talk about their sons as Rey hugs Dominick. This is what Eddie and Vickie were talking about earlier if you didn’t get that. We start with a stall as neither guy really moves at all. Yeah that’s a great way to get the crowd more fired up: don’t move. Apparently Eddie is 0-6 vs. Rey in his career. Dominick, the scared little boy, standing next to a guy in a Cactus Jack shirt is funny to me for some reason.

I get that he’s supposed to be scared and I think he’s playing his part well, we don’t need to see his reaction after every move. They bring the ladders in pretty fast and it’s mostly just their regular moves with the ladders involved along with some basic stuff. Rey is off a bit here which makes great sense as he’s worried about his son.

That’s a nice piece of logic and it makes perfect sense here. In a great spot, Eddie is almost up the ladder but Rey sets another ladder up like a ramp and climbs it to stop Eddie. That’s pretty good but the good part is the backdrop off the ladder, which causes both of them to fall and the crash is just great. Cole calls Eddie sick about 10 times which makes me think he needs some antibiotics.

Ok, now this match just gets bad. Eddie hits a big spot to knock Rey out. He’s climbing the ladder and is about to win, and DOMINICK runs in to shake the ladder. Eddie drops down and says things like “Give me a hug” and “I’m going to be your new daddy!” Ok, where do I begin here? Number one, where in the world is security? They can’t stop an 8 year old boy from jumping the guard rail, or I guess in his case climbing it, getting in the ring, grabbing the ladder, or Eddie from raising his fist at him?

Number two, where was that social worker or whatever? Isn’t her job to make sure that the kid is safe? Yes, I’m sure that it’s safe for a child to run into a wrestling ring and shake a ladder with a grown man on it. Number three, isn’t a social worker a local thing? What kind of social worker would allow this to even happen? How could a professional wrestling match determine the custody of a child? And we have another 7 minutes to go! Where is my medicine?

Finally, does anyone else think Eddie sounds a little perverted with what he said in there? He says more than what I said, but it’s just a bit odd sounding. Anyway, Rey does another dumb spot as he hits the 619 into the ladder into Eddie. Yeah, that’s very smart Rey. And you wonder why your knees are shot. Oh and Eddie looking over his shoulder while in position didn’t help things.

After Rey hangs from the cord, (Eddie catches him in a powerbomb but Cole keeps calling it a Spinebuster until Tazz corrects him after seeing the replay) he gets pinned under the ladder as Eddie climbs up. Eddie then proves how stupid these matches can be as he spends like 20 seconds trying to unhook the stupid thing while waving at Rey. Rey of course counters and shakes the ladder and Eddie hangs on the cord.

Who makes those things, NASA? I would have loved it if Eddie had tucked his knees in and Rey had tried to jump up to grab him but he just wasn’t tall enough. Cole and Tazz go one and on about how Eddie has no heart. I love how last year he had the biggest heart in the world, but now it’s revealed that he’s always had a black heart. My goodness I love kayfabe. Where in the world did they come up with that term anyway?

Rey is in trouble again as Eddie goes up but Vickie runs out and shoves him off. Tazz’s line of she doesn’t belong out here made me laugh out loud. You know, if she wore something other than brown she could actually be attractive. She’s probably 40 pounds lighter here if that means anything. Dang how many times does Rey have to be saved here? Anyway, Rey climbs up and Vickie grabs Eddie to hold him back so Rey wins.

Dominick jumps the railing again as Rey’s wife walks down the ramp to join them. Seriously, how bad is security in this building??? Eddie throws a fit as Cole’s commentary tells us just how stupid this whole thing really was. Rey slides back in and with Eddie looking at him the whole time, he nails Eddie in the head with the briefcase. Great way to treat something you worked so hard to get.

Rating: B. The match was fine, but DANG the storyline couldn’t have been shoved down our throats any harder. We get it: Eddie is evil and Rey is about to lose his family. You spent half the match talking about it. This is an example of where commentary can hurt a match. At the end I almost wanted Eddie to win so I could laugh at Cole and Tazz. Either way, the match itself was fine, all stupid parts aside. It’s hard to think that Eddie would be dead in three months.

Jericho cuts a solid promo about how he will win tonight and that Cena is just the flavor of the month. He says that he beat Rock and Austin in the same night and that Cena can’t compare to them. There’s a thread there, and remember this was 4 years ago.

Eugene vs. Kurt Angle

My goodness why does Eugene keep getting the good wrestlers at this show? Christy Hemme comes out with Eugene dressed as a good looking cheerlead, so maybe there’s something to Eugene. The story, which isn’t told here, is that Angle had been offering his gold medals to anyone that could last 3 minutes with him. Eugene won them, and now he wants it back. That leads us here as there’s no time limit for this match. Oh joy, oh rapture.

We’re finally at Kurt’s best known look, as he’s bald and has the You Suck chants. The odd thing is that he miss times his pyro so as he’s walking to the ring it goes off instead of when he’s pointing up. Eugene is getting killed for the early part here but comes back and tries a People’s Elbow. Angle pops up and takes his head off with a clothesline to one of the biggest pops of the night. Angle is just killing him here and the fans are WAY behind him.

Eugene looks like a jobber with his offense here and is getting booed out of the building from just a few basic punches. See WWE, there’s this thing called LISTENING. Try it sometime. German suplex is called an Angle suplex as Eugene is just about out of it, drawing another huge pop. I’ve heard of wrestlers being hated before but this is some of the worst I’ve ever seen. Coach says Angle wants to continue to beatdown the beatdown. Right, thank you Coach.

Eugene hulks up and hits a Rock Bottom that gets two. He asks the referee if it was three and then remembers his gimmick is that he’s slow. A stunner gets two as the crowd is as hot as Christy. Eugene pulls down some invisible straps so it looks like he’s scratching his shoulders and puts on the ankle lock. I thought he was emulating his favorite wrestlers. A guy that hates him is his favorite? Whatever.

Angle counters, hits the slam and makes Eugene tap to the roar of the fans. They kept it short, which was a great idea here as last year’s 17 minute match was just flat out stupid. Even Ross is talking about how dominant that was. Afterwards, Angle stands on a chair and has the referee put the medal around his neck which is kind of cool.

Rating: A+. Anytime Eugene gets destroyed like he did here, it’s a great match. He was just annoying at this point. A year ago he was ok I guess as the gimmick of someone that was slow but was a wrestling savant was actually kind of cool. Now he’s just slow as his wrestling ability has been forgotten and he just uses big time finishers. See, that’s how you can tell they’ve given up on him. They had a cool idea and then they just dropped it. That’s never a good sign, period.

The Divas are in bikinis and washing a car for no apparent reason. We see that it has the Presidential logo on it. The window rolls down and Vince is in it. He says why not? A bumper stickers says McMahon for President. Nothing ever came of this.

Randy Orton vs. Undertaker

We cut back to the arena and just hear a gong. Thanks for the buildup or anything guys. This is just a Mania rematch which happened because Orton wanted to stop the streak. I’ve always liked Burn in My Light better than Voices. Orton standing in front of the pyro doing his pose just looks awesome. Even though he’s a heel he actually gets a solid pop.

I miss this version of Orton. For one thing the color of his skin is a bit less orange. It’s weird seeing Taker come out first. Orton hits the floor early to hide and I can’t say I blame him. Taz seems to agree with me. Taker slaps him in the face and the beating is on. I love seeing Taker grab someone by the throat and throw them into the corner. It’s just awesome looking.

Apparently Orton smiled after taking a chokeslam on Thursday so he’s getting in the head of the Deadman. Sounds to me like he’s getting chokeslamed which usually means he would lose. Old School is blocked by an arm drag which gets two, likely because it was an arm drag. Orton might have a bad shoulder thanks to a match with Benoit on Smackdown.

Orton takes over with punches. Take a guess as to how well that goes for him. BIG boot takes Orton down for two. This is different than their Mania match and I’m not sure if I like it better or not. Just waiting on Taker’s momentum to die until he gets beaten up for like 8 minutes and then we hit the finish. Running knee in the corner has Orton in big trouble.

Taker keeps going after the referee for no good reason. He tries the same running shot in the corner and of course it misses, allowing Orton to take over. He gets a modified elevated DDT as Taker is coming in for two. Orton goes to the knee as no one has EVER tried that on Taker right?

Powerslam by Orton gets two. And so much for a pin attempt as he goes back to the knee. With his good leg he hits the apron legdrop and actually SELLS THE LEG. I’m just so darn proud! He somehow manages to hit Old School but can’t follow up due to the knee. Snake Eyes hit but the big boot can’t work so Orton gets a dropkick to put Taker down. RKO is blocked though.

Tombstone is reversed and of course that doesn’t work but the reversal is reversed into the backbreaker for two. WHY WOULD YOU TRY TO TOMBSTONE UNDERTAKER??? That has never worked once unless your name is Kane. Does no one watch tape anymore? Crazy new generation. Chokeslam hits and there’s the sign for the tombstone.

A fan runs in and it’s Bob Orton. For the life of me I will never get the appeal of him. Seriously, what’s so great about Bob Orton? What makes him a legend, aside from hanging out with Roddy Piper? That isn’t revealed though until later. Taker goes to get Orton and walks into the RKO for the pin. And the fan is Bob Orton.

Rating: B-. It’s nowhere near their Mania match, so that’s not helping things. I like how they had Bob come in at the end though as it adds something new which furthers the story a bit. There would be two more matches with these two before they finally blew it off in the Cell at Armageddon.

This was fine, but I prefer Mania by a lot, as we had seen a lot of this before, 4 months prior to this. Still not bad at all though. It amazes me how Orton has gone from the rookie wonder last year to this in just a year’s time.

They point out some Republican politicians in the crowd and no one cares.

Time to recap Jericho vs. Cena, which Ross messes up by saying Jericho is champion. This was more about Cena vs. Bischoff as they try to redo Austin vs. McMahon. Jericho is his handpicked opponent to become champion. We knew Jericho was leaving after Raw the next night so there was a real chance they would do the one night title switch and put it back on Cena the next night. Jericho is walking to the ring as we see him from the back coming through the curtain as his music plays. That’s kind of cool.

Raw World Title: Chris Jericho vs. John Cena

In a weird sounding thing, Lillian says that Jericho was born in New York. When have they ever worded it like that? This is being built up as rock vs. rap. Yeah that’s great. The Cena pop is huge. Wow Lawler is 3-0 at Summerslam? That’s actually quite surprising. They point out that it’s wrestling vs. brawling here, and mention Rock and Austin. Dude, it’s great, but even I’m sick of hearing about it. On the floor Cena hits….let’s call it a spear I guess.

It’s kind of just a running tackle that they call a spear. Ross surprisingly says he’s not a Cena fan. He says that he tells it like it is, which makes me laugh even harder. This is pretty much dominance to start, as JR uses the word sycophant. Dang how much foreshadowing are they going to do? Ross is being kind of a jerk here as he keeps telling Coachman to shut up. For once I agree with Ross. Coach uses Rock lines which make me shake my head.

The commentary is more interesting than the match here as Jericho is pretty much dominating. Top rope superplex is cool. In a cool looking spot Cena goes for the shoulder block and Jericho slides between his legs. You know Jericho has two of the worst finishers of all time with the Lionsault and the Walls. When did they ever win anything when he was a heel? By the way, the STFU was a few weeks away at this point. He does however use the top rope leg here. You can tell he’s still not entirely comfortable with being the top star, but he’s getting there.

FU is blocked into a DDT, which was foreshadowed by the feet of Jericho kicking. That’s the natural counter to everything I guess. We have very loud dueling chants of let’s go Cena/Jericho. At the time, Jericho just failed as a heel because he was far too much like his old face persona. A lot of his movements and mannerisms are the same, which is why his current persona works much better. It’s completely different than his old one was and there’s little likable about it.

Five moves are countered, namely the You Can’t See Me. Jericho’s epic counter you ask? He rolls over. I love how “big” moves are blocked so easily at times. The Walls of course do nothing at all but get a face pop. Cena goes for an FU from the second rope which doesn’t work.

Jericho gets a running start but Cena grabs him and in a very cool looking sequence, hooks him in a tilt a whirl up onto his shoulder to FU him for the finish as JR yells louder than he did when Austin was champ. That ending was very cool looking.

Rating: C. This felt way too short. Cena was beaten up almost the whole time but in the end of course he hits his big move to knock off the enemy. It was fine for a PPV match I guess, but it was far from special. They would have another match the next night where the loser was fired. Jericho lost and would leave for almost 3 years.

WM 22 is in Chicago.

Recap of the JBL vs. Batista feud which more or less is them having a match at the Bash but Batista gets disqualified. That makes JBL want this to be no holds barred.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. JBL

JBL makes it rain 100 dollar bills to get the fans to cheer. They find that they’re JBL dollars to make them boo. The speed at which this crowd changes is amusing. Batista gets the big pop as the home town boy. However he gets jumped on the way to the ring as I think they figured out that this just wasn’t going to be a good wrestling match no matter what they did so they just made it a big brawl. They go into the crowd for a bit and Batista spears JBL through the barricade to get him back to ringside.

Well that’s one way to do it I guess. Hokey smoke they’re in the ring. For the second time tonight Cole knows the amount of time that the people have been champions. Thanks, but isn’t that a bit of overkill? As usual, a leather belt is brought in. Why would you wear one of those in a match anyway? It’s not like you think it’s safe or something. No one could be that stupid. Wait this is JBL and Batista. Ignore what I just said.

This is just a lot of hitting each other with power moves and the no holds barred thing is kind of stupid. The epic clothesline isn’t enough to stop Batista, so JBL gets some steps. Those are some freaking huge steps. This is just really bad. JBL misses a powerbomb from the steps, not onto them mind you. Batista Bomb but he doesn’t cover, but instead stands there like a moron with his mouth hanging open. The fans chant one more time so I guess you know what’s coming.

Yep, it’s a power bomb on the steps. I’m not impressed either. Of course this ends it. The impact wasn’t that good either as it’s such a far shorter drop that there’s no time to get any momentum behind it.

Rating: D. Yeah this was bad. It’s less than ten minutes and that might have been too long. The problem here is simple: these two are just big strong brawlers and that style doesn’t work against each other and it didn’t here. You need someone of a different style so that the power works well against it. This was really bad though as it was obvious who would win and there was no drama at all. Bad match and no drama means a waste of time.

Recap of the real main event, which I have to give them credit for getting right here as neither of the other matches should have closed out the show. Short version: Hogan and Michaels teamed up to fight the evil Middle Eastern guys, and then they teamed a bit more. Shawn said he had to know if he could beat Hogan, and that’s how we got here.

If I went through all of the promos for this I’d run out of room for how funny they were. I don’t think they were trying to make Shawn heel here but rather the less good of the two guys. This was actually a major match when you think about it and it was treated as such, so what more can you ask for here?

HBK vs. Hulk Hogan

We come back to the arena to dead silence. I mean nothing is going on but the general noise of the fans. Yeah that’s a great way to come out of a good video package guys. A few seconds of this is fine, but it goes on for about 15 seconds. That doesn’t sound like much but it’s a LONG time when you’re just sitting there waiting. Shawn FINALLY comes out to a pop but not a huge one. We still have no commentary.

Shawn prays as he usually does. I wonder if he’s praying to Hogan. Listen to his old promos and tell me he doesn’t sound like he thinks he’s God. The announcers try to make Shawn out to be an evil heel but it’s just failing. Dang the MCI Center needs a new roof. The fans just blew it off. A massive American Flag drops from the ceiling and it just looks awesome. The commentary is just completely biased as only Coach is on Shawn’s side.

Ok Hogan’s entrance is now at four minutes long. Neither has ever lost at Summerslam in a one on one match. That’s saying a lot. Shawn, forever the strategist, thinks it’s a good idea to try to overpower Hogan. Do I even need to make fun of that? A LOUD you screwed Bret chant starts up. It could be debated that such a chant could be directed at either person. They try to play this off as being the biggest match in Hogan’s career. That is just flat out funny.

This isn’t even the biggest match of Hogan’s career in this building, as this was where Hogan vs. Sting happened. Michaels’ bumping is just funny here as he’s selling a punch like a shot from a cannon. They talk about the big men that both men have beaten. Shawn is credited with Vader (he never beat him though), Diesel and Sid. Ok that’s all fine. They mention Hogan beating Andre and Coach mentions Big John Studd. This gets dead silence.

While it’s true that he beat John on some house shows, I don’t think he ever did it on a major show or a national broadcast, so I can see the skepticism there. Shawn slaps Hogan twice and actually gets away with it. They go to the floor with Hogan just killing him, but eventually Hogan goes into the posts head first. Amazingly enough he rubs his head, and right where he rubs it he’s bleeding. What are the odds of that?

You have to love that Shawn is beating up a 52 year old man. You have to love that this match isn’t stopped for the blood yet Matt vs. Edge was. Do you mean that Hogan isn’t as important as Matt Hardy? Shawn with a sleeper that Ross says is cutting off the flow of blood to the brain. Wouldn’t that kind of be helping Hogan since blood is flowing from his head? They ask how many people can say ended Hogan with his blood on their hands. I’m thinking Brock Lesnar there boys.

Shawn hits what I guess is supposed to be a forearm but Hogan just kind of falls over. Shawn goes for ANOTHER forearm but the referee goes down because of it. Do we really need that in this match? Just let one or the other get the win. The fans want Bret. Where in the world does that come from? Shawn then applies the absolute WORST sharpshooter of all time.

He looks like he’s bent over in prison or something and Hogan looks like he’s in a half crab, which isn’t his fault as Shawn didn’t put it on right. Shawn got the leg crossing wrong I think. Yeah he did it’s supposed to be with the other arm. We have another referee here by the way. JR says that both men are looking for a win. I thought they were both looking for the way to Sesame Street. The other referee is down too. Yeah this isn’t overkill at all.

Shawn with a low blow that JR calls a low blow and then that it doesn’t need a description. Isn’t calling it low a description? Chair is brought in and barely hits Hogan as he falls early from it and Shawn lets it slide over the top of his head. Sweet Chin Music connects which gets a huge pop as Shawn circles Hogan to cover him correctly so Hogan can do the power kick out. Yep there it is.

Ok, now I can get that when Hogan is hit by an elbow or a splash that he can kick out like that, but this is a hard blow to his head. That makes NO sense, even from a wrestling perspective. We get the boot and leg drop, complete with Shawn’s insane selling that’s drawn a lot of criticism.

If Hogan can completely no sell the kick, Shawn can do that for the boot. Post match Shawn tilts face again. I say tilts because he never really turned in the first place. Oh and all of a sudden the commentators love him again too. The famous poses play us out.

Rating: B-. It was what it was, but no one believed Shawn was going to win. However, he should have. Hogan is certainly the bigger star, but he’s not a full time wrestler at this point and Shawn was. If Shawn wins here, he’s instantly getting a huge push as he just beat Hulk Hogan. Now I get that Hogan should win as the bigger star, and if they were both leaving or both staying you would be absolutely right, but that’s not what they were doing.

Shawn was staying and a win for him would be a huge push. Yes Hogan is the best ever, but he’s not even active at the moment so it looks like Shawn lost to some guy that just came back and beat him. I just don’t agree with this booking at all.

Overall Rating: B. This is a show where the overall product is much better than the individual matches. Batista vs. JBL is the only truly bad match on the card. The rest are good if not quite good. I don’t think there’s a true classic anywhere here or even a great match, but with everything being at least decent save for the WHC, this is a solid show. I’ll recommend it, but not completely.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

WWF House Show
Date: September 18, 1987
Location: Philadelphia Spectrum, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 9,000
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Dick Graham

This is a time when the WWF was in a holding pattern as we were well past Wrestlemania III but we weren’t close enough to Survivor Series yet to talk about it. Therefore the main event tonight is WWF’s bread and butter from the 80s: Hogan vs. the monster of the week, in this case Killer Khan, a guy most famous for a run against Andre the Giant about five years earlier than this. The card looks a bit underwhelming but I’ve been surprised before. Let’s get to it.

We open with a quick rundown of some of the bigger matches, including Beefcake vs. Rude and Race vs. Savage.

Barry Horowitz vs. Lanny Poffo

Oh we’re in for a long night aren’t we? Horowitz would be pretty new at this point and after a quick poem from Poffo we’re ready to go. Horowitz won’t shake hands to start so we have a clear evil one here. He armdrags Lanny down and celebrates like a true villain would. Barry slams him down again so Lanny armdrags him a few times to send Barry to the floor. Back in and Horowitz hides in the ropes. Poffo ducks through them too to laugh at Barry in a funny bit.

We get down to business now with Poffo grabbing an armbar for control. The arm hold stays on for awhile as the announcers talk about the Piledriver Album. They get back up and Barry whips him into the corner, only to be reversed into an armdrag and armbar #3. Into the corner again and Larry headscissors him across the ring. Barry gets in a thumb to the eye and some European uppercuts. A legdrop gets two.

We hit the chinlock from Barry as this match continues to go on way longer than it needs to go. The announcers talk about the most painful submissions ever and Gorilla says by far it’s the bear hug from either Bruno, Graham or Patera. A small package gets two for Lanny but Horowitz pokes him in the eyes to stop the momentum again. Lanny grabs a sunset flip for another two.

Barry goes up but ala Ric Flair is slammed down. Poffo monkey flips him out of the corner in a move that wasn’t as snappy as you would expect from Lanny. There’s a hard elbow in the corner to Barry but a second monkey flip is countered. Barry atomic drops him out of said corner and hits a Russian Leg Sweep for the pin.

Rating: D. It picked up a bit towards the end but it was Barry Horowitz vs. Lanny Poffo for nearly thirteen minutes. I don’t see any situation in which that is something that ever needs to happen. This was basically a battle of future jobbers, which isn’t the right idea to start a show with in Philadelphia of all places.

Frenchy Martin vs. Special Delivery Jones

Another battle of the jobbers. I’m in for an even longer night than I was expecting aren’t I? They fight over a headlock and a top wristlock to start and Jones takes him to the mat. A nearly botched slam puts Martin down and things slow again. Martin’s chinlock is countered by Jones who puts Frenchy on the top for a polite tap on the jaw. Off to another chinlock by Frenchy to keep this match from getting interesting.

The fans aren’t thrilled by this and I can’t say I am either. SD fights up but gets clotheslinedown almost immediately. Off to a nerve hold which is much less boring than a chinlock because….uh…..hey look over there! Jones tries to fight out of it and it’s back to the chinlock. Jones fights up and pounds away, including a punch to the beard. Yes the beard. Martin catches him with a knee to the ribs but ramming Jones’ head into the buckle doesn’t work as well. After Martin bails and comes back in, Jones pounds away with more punches. SD small packages him but Frenchy reverses and grabs the tights for the pin.

Rating: D-. This is the second straight boring match in a row to start things off here. The whole thing is only two hours long and we’re thirty minutes into it already. This can’t be a good sign as the opener with Barry Horowitz in it was the best match of the night after a quarter of the show. Nothing to see here again.

Harley Race vs. Randy Savage

This HAS to be better. The talent in this alone keeps it from being dull. Savage is VERY freshly turned here, not even having had his feud with Honky start off yet. Race is the King but Savage won the untelevised King of the Ring tournament two weeks before this. Savage goes all insane to start and Race isn’t sure what to make of him. Race takes him into the corner but Savage escapes and throws on a sleeper.

Race quickly grabs a rope so Savage clotheslines him over the top and out to the floor. Savage clotheslines him back over the top rope to bring Race back in and Harley is in trouble. Race hits him in the ribs and sends Savage out to the floor, but Macho sends Race head first into the announce table. Well it is Philly after all. Race trips him up and like an idiot, tries a falling headbutt on the floor. The miss gets two for Savage back in the ring.

Harley is busted and Savage goes after it like a….well like a savage actually. Race pulls him into the corner and takes over with some shots to the head. The piledriver gets no cover but an elbow drop gets two for Harley. A belly to belly gets another two count but Savage reverses a vertical suplex to take over.

Savage drops a knee for two but Race punches him down to take over again. Randy wakes up and elbows Race in the head for two. He’s all fired up now and drops the double ax to Harley’s head for another two. The Flying Elbow misses so Race tries another suplex, only to get reversed into an O’Connor Roll to give Savage the pin.

Rating: C+. This was a nice breath of air as Savage was on fire at this point and the fans were rapidly getting behind him. He would feud with Honky for a few more months before entering the world title tournament at Wrestlemania and taking over the company for a year. Good stuff here as Race was still excellent in the ring and can make even someone like Savage, who is already as talented as anyone, look better.

Iron Mike Sharpe vs. Scott Casey

Casey is known for two things: being on Survivor Series 88 due to a ton of injuries and also training Harlem Heat. Feeling out process to start for the first minute or so with nothing going on. Casey crucifixes him down for two and Sharpe heads to the floor. Back in and Sharpe poses a bit and wants a test of strength. Casey goes down to his knees in the grip but he rolls away and takes Sharpe down.

Iron Mike heads to the floor again and walks around a bit longer this time. Actually he’s walking away from the ring and Casey has to stand in the ring. At this point in the show, they couldn’t do anything much worse than that. Thankfully Sharpe comes back in and rakes Casey’s eyes along the top rope ala Arn Anderson. Casey grabs a piledriver out of nowhere but it only gets two.

Sharpe comes back with some chops to the chest but gets sent into the corner and monkey flipped for his troubles. The announcers discuss the brace on Sharpe’s arm which is on the verge of rivaling Orton’s for longest running injuries. A poke to the eye stops Casey and Mike sends him to the floor. As they head back inside, Casey pokes Mike in the eye to get control back in a nice touch. A sleeper slows Sharpe down and a bulldog gets the pin for Casey.

Rating: D+. Another long and dull match here with guys that not many people were interested in seeing. Casey was basically just a house show guy who occasionally would pop up on TV as half of a jobbing tag team but that’s about it. Nothing to see here again though as it was a nine minute match with about two minutes of action in it.

Rick Rude vs. Brutus Beefcake

This is the last match before the intermission. Rude is pretty new here and he hasn’t started his first big feud, which would be with Orndorff. Brutus jumps him before his name graphic can come on and punches him down to the floor. Back in and Rude wants a handshake but Beefcake would rather hit him again and hits a headknocker. Rude slips in a shot to the knee and Brutus is in trouble.

Beefcake will have none of this being on defense thing and suplexes Rude down, followed by an atomic drop. If anything can help a show no matter what, it’s Rude selling an atomic drop. Rude comes back with a knee lift and starts choking a bit. He wasn’t exactly polished at this point. Brutus breaks a nerve hold but Rude pokes him in the eyes to slow him back down again.

Back to the chinlock as the match slows down again. You can tell it’s the 80s when th are this many chinlocks in a match. Beefcake fights up again with right hands but Rude takes him right back down. You may be noticing a pattern here. Beefcake makes comeback #8 or so with a backdrop followed by a slam. He puts the sleeper on but Rude rams Brutus’ head into the buckle to escape.

A shoulder breaker puts Beefcake down again and there’s the over the shoulder body vice, but Rude lets it go early. Rude goes for the scissors but gets caught in the sleeper again. Harley Race runs in for the save and is put in the sleeper as well. Brutus chases both of them off with the scissors before winning by DQ.

Rating: D+. Not a great match again but at least there was some energy in this match and there were some people I might care about for a change. Beefcake would get MUCH better in a few years as would Rude, and with Jake Roberts lurking for Rude, that time would come soon. This was your usual house show punch and kick match though.

Craig DeGeorge has replaced Monsoon on commentary. Great.

Junkyard Dog vs. Ted DiBiase

We have a Mid-South reunion here. DiBiase offers JYD 500 bucks to take the night off but JYD drills him and gives the money to the fans. Ted is relatively new here too, only having been around about four or five months. Ted gets punched down again and it’s time to stall again. DiBiase hides in the ropes more than once as this is going nowhere so far. JYD rams Ted in the buckle a few times and Ted backs off again.

A fan asks DiBiase for more money when he’s on the floor. That made me chuckle. Back in and DiBiase’s boot to the ribs is caught in an atomic drop. We’re almost four minutes into this and almost nothing has happened so far. JYD works over the arm with a wristlock and then gets on all fours for some headbutts. A falling headbutt misses and DiBiase takes over. DiBiase goes up but jumps into an extended fist instead of the extended boot. Well at least it was different. More headbutts keep DiBiase down and Virgil gets one too. Virgil trips JYD up and DiBiase steals a win with a rollup.

Rating: D+. Another punch/kick/headbutt/stall match here which is continues to drag this show down. DiBiase was killing time until he started to go after Hogan and JYD didn’t mean much of anything yet. The match was mainly DiBiase stalling though and it didn’t go anywhere at all, which is a theme tonight.

Tag Titles: Hart Foundation vs. Killer Bees

Again this has to be good based on the chemistry and familiarity between the teams involved. The Harts are defending due to the Bees never having been champions. We get the ritual of Neidhart taking Bret’s glasses off and we’re ready to go. Blair and Neidhart get us going and the big guy shoves Blair around and takes down the straps. The Bees take over on the arm of the Anvil but Brunzell gets caught in a bearhug.

The Bees use the Sting Action to take over and Blair works over the leg. Both Bees work on the leg but Anvil shoves Blair away and brings Bret in. Blair takes the Hitman down by the leg and hooks an Indian Deathlock. Brunzell hooks a quick spinning toehold and it’s back to Blair for a figure four. The Bees were famous for being able to tag in and out very quickly which they’re doing well here.

Bret finally breaks the old and Blair is taken into the corner and choked by Anvil. We get to the face in peril section now as Blair is down on the floor. Actually that may be premature as Blair sunset flips Bret down for two back inside. Neidhart comes back in with a chinlock before bringing Bret back in to pound on Brian some more. A slam and knee drop get two on Blair as does a kick to the ribs. Neidhart slaps on a bearhug which the announcers can’t name for some reason.

Blair elbows out of it but Bret gets a blind tag and comes in, only to get taken down by a double clothesline. Both guys are down now and the fans are getting into this. Blair picks him up for a slam and Neidhart kicks Bret down onto Blair, but Blair rolls through for two. That would have been an awesome way to change the titles if that was what they were doing here.

Blair crawls over to make the tag and Bret is in trouble. Bret gets his foot on the ropes to save the titles twice in a row before grabbing a sleeper to give himself a breath. Everything breaks down and Brunzell dropkicks Bret to the apron. Brunzell tries to suplex him back in but Neidhart trips him up, allowing Bret to fall on top to retain the titles.

Rating: B-. This was one of those matches that you couldn’t screw up. I remember one of these four saying that they wrestled each other roughly four hundred times and it’s pretty easy to see that they know each other very well. The Bees never won the titles but dang they had some fun matches trying to get them on house shows.

Outback Jack vs. Tiger Chung Lee

Outback Jack can really only be described as different. He’s from Humpty Doo, Australia and has a song called Tie Me Kangaroo Down. Lee is your generic evil Asian dude. Feeling out process to start with Jack hitting a few punches. A bulldog out of nowhere gets the pin for Jack. I think that was supposed to be a clothesline to the back of the head but Lee took it like a bulldog. Too short to rate but this was nothing at all.

WWF World Title: Killer Khan vs. Hulk Hogan

As Hogan is being checked for objects, Khan jumps him and chokes Hogan down with his own headband. Khan loads up the Asian Mist but it hits the referee by mistake. A new referee comes out but Hogan is in big trouble. I think I’ll bet on Khan here. I mean, it’s clear Hogan can’t come back from this kind of a beating. A knee drop gets two for Khan and he beats on Hogan for awhile longer. There’s nothing of note happening here as it’s mainly just stomping.

Fuji gets in a cane shot to Hogan’s throat but Khan’s knee drop misses. Hogan enters Kung Fu mode and chops away, but he poses a bit too much and Khan takes him down again with chops. Off to the nerve hold which Asians tend to be proficient at. Hogan is almost out but he holds up the arm on the third drop and the place erupts. He starts running the ropes but a big chop takes him right back down. Khan’s top rope knee drop finisher gets two and it’s Hulk Up, a block of the mist, mist to Khan’s eyes and the legdrop to retain.

Rating: C. It’s Hogan vs. a foreign monster in the 80s. I have no idea what else you’re looking for here. Hogan would go on to feud with DiBiase and Andre in a few months while Khan would disappear, although he was almost never on TV so it wasn’t like it was a big loss. Nothing to see here again but the fans loved it.

Overall Rating: D-. This was the worst kind of show possible: the dull kind. Nothing on here is awful, but there is NOTHING that hasn’t been done better a few dozen times. At the end of the day, this is a dull house show with a lot of standing around to fill in time. This show came and went and I’m never going to think of it again. That’s the worst kind of show to sit through as it’s so boring there’s nothing to care about or get excited about at all. The tag match was ok though.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Nitro #82
Date: April 7, 1997
Location: Von Braun Center, Huntsville, Alabama
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone, Larry Zbyszko

Back to Nitro and it’s the first night after Spring Stampede. Almost nothing has changed as that was one of the least important shows in recent memory. We’re now on the way towards Slamboree which will set the bar even lower as Hogan’s spring/summer vacation continues. Hopefully this is a more interesting show than last week. Let’s get to it.

Tony and Larry suggest there’s turmoil in the NWO. This would be the first of about 87 times this was potentially happening. We get a lot of stills from the main event last night with Nash power bombing Nick Patrick after the pin was counted for Page.

Konnan/Hugh Morrus vs. Psychosis/Alex Wright

Wright and Morrus start us off and the fans seem rowdy tonight. Alex uses the Daniel Bryan moonsault out of the corner and works on the arm of Morrus. Off to Psychosis as the announcers talk about having an opening to beat the NWO now. Konnan comes in illegally but walks into a superkick that didn’t appear to connect from Psychosis. A better looking top rope spinwheel kick puts Konnan down and Psychosis takes Morrus down on the floor as well.

Morrus comes in and with nothing better to do, we go split screen to show Page arriving earlier today and looking hurt. A powerslam gets no cover on the masked man and a middle rope elbow misses for Morrus. Double tag brings in Wright and Konnan and Alex cleans house. A top rope cross body gets one on Hugh but Konnan hits him with a neckbreaker and No Laughing Matter (moonsault) gets the pin on Wright.

Rating: D+. Not much here but it wasn’t bad. The Dungeon of Doom was about a year and a half past their expiration date and they would never mean anything again. For that matter you could say the same for Wright and Psychosis as well, but they had some moderate success. Not a lot to say here.

Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Steven Regal

No entrances for either guy but at least we got that nifty set of stills from Madusa vs. Hokuto. Regal takes over to start and sends Rey out to the floor and into the barricade. Back inside and we’re told the NWO has arrived. Naturally we look at this instead of the match. I know they’re a bigger deal but this gets on my nerves. You could EASILY show this between the matches and nothing would be any worse. Hogan and Bischoff talk about problems in the family and it’s only the two of them plus DiBiase and Vincent.

Back in the ring, Mysterio sends Regal to the apron but misses a charge. Regal goes up top but takes too long, allowing Rey to hit a springboard headscissors for two. West Coast Pop doesn’t connect properly and only gets two. Regal takes him down and puts on the Regal Stretch but Rey makes the rope. For some reason during part of that hold referee Randy Anderson had his hand on the back of Rey’s head. Regal won’t break the hold and it’s a DQ.

Rating: D+. Not much to see here again but at least we could see most of the match instead of having most of the time being spent on the NWO buying a newspaper or whatever they’re doing this week. Regal was snapping at this point but I don’t remember anything coming out of it, which is a shame as he was good at being psycho.

Prince Iaukea comes out for the save but Regal beats him down and puts him in the Stretch too. The totally calm look on Regal’s face as he tortures Iaukea and punches him in the face is borderline chilling.

The rest of the NWO arrives. Savage is on crutches.

We recap last night’s bizarre one on one match for the tag titles which was basically Rick Steiner being squashed by Kevin Nash. This led to Ted DiBiase getting upset by the amount of punishment Steiner received.

Ice Train vs. Chris Benoit

Woman is continuing to look good here so at least the squash won’t be a total loss. Benoit pounds away to start but walks into a press slam from Train. Benoit starts chopping away but Ice Train yells at him and clotheslines Benoit down. Train puts on a chinlock as we go split screen to see Hogan throwing the belt down and the NWO gets in an argument.

Savage seems to be the one with the most issues here. Nash walks away and Norton says get it together. Back in the ring Woman takes Teddy Long down and a Benoit DDT gets the pin. It was barely long enough to rate in the first place and since we missed a good piece of it for an NWO argument I’ll pass on a rating. It was exactly what you would expect though.

We get a video on the premiere of Double Team, which is Dennis Rodman’s new movie. This is shown because the NWO was there, which brings up a question: the NWO is supposed to be a totally different organization from WCW in storyline terms right? So why would WCW show this stuff? There’s no disclaimer saying that the NWO paid for this and Tony intros it, so why would they show it?

Hector Guerrero vs. Kevin Sullivan

Hector is a dead ringer for Eddie and may actually be more talented in the ring than Eddie was. Sullivan pounds Hector down to start and knocks him to the floor so Jackie can slam him which is supposed to be impressive for some reason. Back in the ring and Sullivan keeps up the assault and then throws him out to Jackie for more of her punches and another slam. The Tree of Woe and double stomp end this quick, and by that I mean the guy that got in all the offense so far, as in Sullivan, wins, in case that was too complicated for you.

Here’s the NWO with something to say. DiBiase says there are clearly problems here and we need to fix them now. Hogan says that Nash has a problem with this and throws the belt down again, saying it means nothing. Nash says that he has no problem with Rodman as he used to be a ball player too. But he spent Easter Sunday in a hotel room with Syxx which was a big problem for some reason.

Hogan says next Easter they’ll go on an NWO Easter Hunt, but for now he wants to know where Hall is. Nash says Hall is NWO for life but Hogan wants to fight right now. Nash talks about Hogan joining Hall and Nash and about how they’re NWO for life. That apparently buries the hatchet but Savage is mad. The fans want Sting. Hogan says he doesn’t want to fight Savage so get it together. Savage says ok but he and Bishoff are on probation with each other. That settles things apparently.

Hour #2 begins and we recap the first half of the show.

Gene brings out Flair for a chat. Flair rants a bit about the NWO and how he’s going to take them out. Here’s Piper who says he’s out of the asylum and rants a bit as well. Flair says Kevin Greene wants to join up with them and I think we’ve got a six man coming. Piper on the NWO: “They smell like six dead otters in a drainpipe.” Greene comes out and praises both guys before going insane as well. This would be the main event of the PPV.

US Title: Dean Malenko vs. Chris Jericho

This should be awesome. Things start off fast and Jericho hits a pair of kicks to take Malenko down. They head to the floor for some more kicks before a missile dropkick gets two back in the ring. A backslide gets the same but Jericho ducks his head and gets powerbombed. There’s the Cloverleaf but Jericho grabs the rope. Dean goes up but gets superplexed down. This is the first slow down they’ve had so far. As Jericho gets up, Dean hits a standing version of Orton’s Punt for the pin.

Rating: B. For a three minute match, this was AWESOME. Dean going all evil and kicking Jericho in the face was a good change of pace for him and it would lead to a decent heel run for him. Jericho was starting to get pushed and it would turn into a title run in a few months in a big win over an NWO member.

Public Enemy vs. High Voltage

High Voltage jumps the Public Enemy to start but gets slugged down almost immediately. A double flapjack sets up a double suplex on Rage for no cover. The fans like the arm waving thing the Public Enemy does. Rock and Kaos officially get us going before Rock is sent to the floor for a beating from Rage. Back in and Rock hits a neckbreaker on Kaos for two. Tag to Grunge who cleans house. They head to the floor and Kaos is put on the table. The elbow through said table misses while back in the ring, Rage hits a northern lights suplex for the pin. Short but energetic again.

Public Enemy says sometimes the table works for you and sometimes it works against you but it’s all good. Rock challenges High Voltage to a Philadelphia street fight next week. They say they’ll get extreme next week.

Prince Iaukea is getting his ribs taped up.

Harlem Heat vs. Steve McMichael/Jeff Jarrett

And there’s no Mongo. Booker gets things going in a match that would be for the world title in about three years. Booker runs him over to start but Jarrett comes back with some hip tosses. Jarrett goes to the corner but gets pounded down as the Heat takes over again. Stevie comes in and catches Jarrett in what we would call the World’s Strongest Slam. Jeff dropkicks both guys to the floor and things slow down a bit.

Stevie slams him down again and it’s back to Booker. The numbers game is catching up with Jeff as Booker side kicks him down for two. Debra has left ringside as the announcers are trying to figure out if Mongo was here earlier or not. The ax kick hits but Booker tags out instead of covering. Jarrett grabs a small package out of nowhere for two and a sunset flip out of the corner gets the same on Booker. A double suplex puts Jeff down for two and Debra is back again. Jeff misses a dropkick and Stevie guillotines him on the top rope.

Even Sherri is getting in some attacks on Jeff, hitting him in the chest and choking him a bit. A quick backslide gets two for Jarrett and he avoids the Harlem Side Kick, crotching Booker in the process. Stevie hits a brainbuster and here’s Mongo who looks fine. Stevie misses something off the top and Mongo is on the apron. There’s the tag and Mongo cleans house. Jarrett is spent so Mongo tags him back in. Mongo shoves him into the side kick and Booker gets the pin.

Rating: D+. This was a long angle advancement which is a good thing, but it’s an angle that wasn’t interesting for the most part. At the end of the day, they’re fighting about Debra who is just annoying beyond belief. Mongo wasn’t any good in the ring and Jarrett was awful as a face at this point. It wouldn’t be until be became a male sexist pig in the WWF that he really came into his own.

Jarrett and Mongo bicker post match. Mongo says he wants more pain but never would say where he was.

TV Title: Ultimo Dragon vs. Prince Iaukea

Iaukea is injured from the attack by Regal earlier in the night. He tries to speed things up to start but a slam fails. Iaukea rolls him up for two and a backslide gets the same. Dragon uses his first opening and kicks the Prince in the ribs to take over. Iaukea gets the feet up to take out a diving Dragon but Dragon kicks him in the ribs a few times and pins him quickly for the title. This was basically a squash.

Another package of stills from last night. I’ll give WCW one thing: other than the title matches which are obvious, they haven’t said who won any of these matches. That’s one thing that annoys me about WWE doing this: they’ll tell you to buy the replay but they’ll explain every single thing that happened. Here at least they’re just showing pictures of it but no endings.

Giant vs. Scott Steiner

Main event here, but Konnan and Hugh Morrus jump Scott on the way to the ring. Giant makes the save. Scott didn’t wrestle last night either so maybe he was injured. No match.

Here’s DDP to close the show. He talks about last night and how no one would have believed that could have happened a few years ago. Page says he’s an anomaly and if he had gotten his hands on Savage last night when Savage was hurting Kimberly, he would have killed the Macho Man. Cue Savage on crutches but Hogan follows him out and stops him.

Hogan says this one is on him and the rest of the NWO appears on stage. Hogan rips his shirt off and here’s Sting on a zip line and repelling from the ceiling. He stands in the aisle in front of the NWO and holds the bat out at Hogan. Sting hands Page the bat but pulls out another one to point at Hogan again. The NWO cowers to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This show worked MUCH better than the previous week’s did and that’s because the big stars were here. Last week and at Spring Stampede, no one showed up and it felt like an unimportant show. This show came off like it mattered and even though the PPV would mean nothing again, this was a good start on the six week build to Slamboree.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Nitro
Date: November 9, 1998
Location: Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum, Uniondale, New York
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, Larry Zbyszko, Bobby Heenan

This is another request and I have no idea what it was requested for. This would be a few weeks after Halloween Havoc and about two weeks before World War 3. Goldberg is world champion but the top feud is probably Bret Hart vs. DDP. I really don’t remember much about this time in the company’s history but they’re in trouble against Raw at this point. The bottom hasn’t fallen out yet though. Let’s get to it.

We open with a montage of Hogan saying he’s running for President. He announced this on the Tonight Show and I’m just going to move past it. It’s a montage of his pictures and that’s about it. Think the Real American video but not as impressive.

Gene and Bobby are in the back waiting for Hogan and here’s a limo. Make that two limos. It’s both NWO teams and they immediately brawl. Hall gets thrown in a trash can. Why do I have a feeling that isn’t the first time that’s happened to him? Konnan holds off Giant with a pipe and that’s about it.

We get some clips of Bret hurting DDP and Sting for some reason.

Kaz Hayashi vs. Juventud Guerrera

Things speed up immediately and here’s Bischoff to the announce desk. He says that the President will be here tonight and Gene needs to stay where he is. I’m so glad we stopped looking at a fast paced match to look at Bischoff’s back as he talked. The fans chant various curses at Bischoff as Juvy takes over with some kicks in the corner. He goes up but jumps into a dropkick from Kaz. Hayashi is one of those guys that was talented but never went anywhere for various reasons.

Tenay points out that the NWO battle in the parking lot did in fact take place in the parking lot. Thanks for that Professor. After a quick trip to the floor, Kaz takes him back inside and pops Juvy in the head. Juvy tries a dive of some sort but Hayashi moves, sending Juvy through the ropes to the floor. A BIG springboard dive takes Juvy down and Kaz is in full control. There’s a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker and a dropkick to the ribs as Kaz focuses on the back and ribs, hence why he used a move to each of them.

The idiot fans think this is boring for some reason. Off to a rib stretching hold by Hayashi but it’s quickly broken up. The fans are still chanting boring for some reason. They chop it out and man those things are HARD. Kaz chops him into the corner and we actually get a commercial break in this match. Back with Juvy kicking Kaz down and diving to the floor to take both guys out.

Back in and Kaz clotheslines Guerrera down and the match slows down a bit. Kaz stands around too much and gets caught in a sunset flip for two. A brainbuster puts Juvy down for two. Juvy kicks him in the ribs but his powerbomb is countered into a rollup for two. Here are Sonny Onoo and Ernest Miller for no apparent reason. As the camera is on Miller, we can see Guerrera hitting a hurricanrana in the background. You know, the unimportant stuff. Juvy Driver is countered and Kaz rolls up Guerrera, only to have Miller distract the referee. Sonny kicks Kaz in the head and Juvy rolls him up for the pin.

Rating: B-. Bad ending aside, this was a pretty solid TV opener. How often do you see a cruiserweight match with guys of this name value get twelve minutes on Nitro? If this is the result I’d be fine with it happening more often. Good fast paced match here, even though the ending was designed to set up a tag match at the PPV.

We get clips of Nash getting beaten up by the NWO from a few weeks back. They’re really pushing the random videos tonight for some reason.

Alex Wright vs. Barry Horowitz

Yes that Barry Horowitz. Wright makes sure to tell the ring announcer that he does not want to hear ANYTHING from the crowd during the match. You know, because Barry Horowitz requires perfect silence to beat. Barry jumps him but Wright takes him right down to the mat. Horowitz comes back with a European Uppercut in a nice bit of psychology but Wright gets up two feet in the corner. We see what looks like a Secret Service guy as Wright hits a dropkick for two. They head to the floor and the Wolfpac howl goes off. Here they come and the match just kind of ends. Too short to rate but it was nothing.

Konnan does his usual stuff and Nash quotes Popeye, saying that he can’t stand anymore. That’s an image I never thought I would see. He talks about the brawl earlier with the Black and White and says the Wolfpac is never going to back down. Nash issues an open challenge to ANY combination of the Black and White for later but he wants Hall in it in some form. Luger says he wants Bret, who injured him a few weeks ago, and Konnan rambles incoherently. Cue Bischoff who calls Nash Estrogen Boy. They’ll get the Black and White tonight and just wait in the ring. Nash calls Bischoff Estrogen Boy too. Ok then.

Lodi vs. Scott Norton

Wasn’t the Wolfpac supposed to stay in the ring? Apparently it’ll be Hall/Giant vs. Luger/Nash later. Chop, powerbomb, pin, Norton wins. This was nothing. Norton is IWGP Champion at this point.

Here’s Disciple of all people for a chat. He says he’s his own man but here are Stevie Ray, Horace and Vincent. Gee what a threatening group. Horace gets to be the mouthpiece and it’s instantly clear why he NEVER got to do that more than once. Disciple (Brutus Beefcake if you didn’t know that) argues back and there’s the three on one beatdown. Horace whips him with a belt but Disciple fights back. The beating continues until Warrior comes out for the save and a big reaction. There’s an OWN shirt shown and that’s it. No literally that’s it, as Warrior was never seen in WCW or any major company again.

Gene and Bobby are in the back again and are apparently waiting on the arrival of Bill Clinton. We get a shot of a motorcade arriving and some people in suits, who are supposed to be Secret Service agents, tell Gene to leave. There are two limos here at least. We’re told that Hogan will announce his running mate here tonight as well. The cameramen are shoved back and we cut to the arena with some Presidential music playing.

Of course it’s not Clinton, but rather Hogan with a bunch of boas around his neck. There’s a huge American flag being lowered from the ceiling and Bischoff is here too. Is this some kind of big joke because of Jesse Ventura? I never quite got that. Hogan talks about how Jesse the Mind Ventura is steering Minnesota in the right direction and how proud he is of Jesse.

Hogan says his phone has been ringing off the hook and he’s decided that he’s running for President with Bischoff as the campaign manager. No party is mentioned but we do get a Monica Lewinsky cigar joke. This went on for a few weeks and then was never mentioned again due to reasons of stupid.

Buy WCW/NWO Revenge! No really, that game was pretty good, and it’s only SEVENTY BUCKS from WCW.

Here’s Bret Hart for a chat. As he’s coming to the ring we get a clip from last week with him injuring DDP in the Sharpshooter. Bret says Luger was lucky to escape with his life last week and that Sting needs to get well because there’s more where that came from. As for DDP, he’s in a hospital thanking God that his career isn’t over. Bret says just send him the belt and everything will be cool. Tonight he’ll beat up Konnan and that’s about it. It never ceases to amaze me how much they wasted Bret in WCW.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.

This is during the LWO days. Eddie is the leader and wants Rey involved but Mysterio wants nothing to do with them. Eddie offers Rey a shirt before the match but Rey holds up his own shirt in response. Rey trips up a charging Eddie and pounds away on the ropes. Guerrero bails to the floor and comes back in on his knees. That’s a new way of begging for mercy. Well new to wrestling at least.

A headscissors puts Eddie back on the floor so it’s time to change strategies. Eddie takes Rey’s knee out and stomps away at it and Mysterio is in trouble. Eddie’s powerbomb is countered into a sunset flip but Eddie rolls through into a leg lock. Rey is put on the apron and Guerrero cannonballs down onto the leg over the top rope. Back into the ring and it’s another leg lock but Rey rolls him up for two.

Leg lock number three goes on and things slow down a lot. Rey gets to the ropes and manages to climb the ropes and hit a springboard headscissors to put Eddie down, but his knee slows him down. Eddie dropkicks him back down and it’s time to go to the knee again. A slingshot hilo lands on the knee and we head to the floor. Eddie dropkicks the steps into Rey’s knee which is up against the post. Mysterio is in big trouble at this point.

Back to the leg lock as things slow down again. The fans look at something on the left hand side of the ring and even Eddie stops to look at it. Rey avoids a charge in the corner and hits the Bronco Buster. A slingshot moonsault gets two for Rey, followed by a jumping X Factor for no cover. The layout bulldog gets another two for Rey but Eddie suplexes him down to take over again. Eddie puts on another leg lock but here’s Crazy Chavo. Eddie yells at him, allowing Rey to roll him up, botch the rollup, and then roll him up again for the pin.

Rating: B-. This falls firmly in the category of pairings that you can’t screw up. The leg work here was fine and while I’m not wild on the ending, the match worked fine. It was also a different style than you would expect from these two but it still worked well. Good stuff here and that’s a sign of talent, as both of them were out of their element with this style.

Rey saves Chavo from an LWO beatdown post match.

Here’s Bischoff who says that he’s still the boss even though he’s Hogan’s campaign manager. Flair is still not wrestling because of a failed physical apparently. He talks about JJ Dillon overstepping his bounds by firing Buff Bagwell and Scott Steiner. Some attorneys come out and waste more time before cracking some jokes and getting beaten up by Bischoff. Joseph Park they are not.

We get a LONG recap of Dillon fining Steiner and Bagwell from last week. The two of them came out and terrorized Dillon and destroyed the announcers’ desk. Steiner says no one can control him and they called out Kenny Kaos, who was Rick Steiner’s interim tag title partner. Being the idiot that he is, Kaos gets beaten down and laid out. Then on Thunder Nick Patrick got beaten down as well.

Scott and Buff come out with Scott saying his usual stuff, including a rant on Piper being the commissioner and a coward. Apparently no referee will work a Steiner match so Buff is going to do it. Scott demands an opponent so here’s what we get.

Scott Steiner vs. Chris Adams

Uh…yeah. There’s no match here as it’s a double beatdown. Rick Steiner runs out for the save and says he’ll find a partner and put the titles on the line tonight.

Tag Titles: Scott Steiner/Buff Bagwell vs. Rick Steiner/Judy Bagwell

Yes, it’s Buff’s mama. Buff tries to hit his mom to start but she ducks and knocks him to the floor. This is for the world tag team titles. Rick knocks Buff to the floor and Buff says he’s not fighting. Scott insults Judy and there’s a challenge for a match at the PPV. Judy says she’ll do it at the PPV and get paid this time. Only in WCW people.

Konnan vs. Bret Hart

This has to be better. I mean, it’s impossible for it to not be. This is Wolfpac vs. Black and White. Konnan immediately takes him down in the corner and stomps away. Out to the floor we go and Bret is sent into the barricade. Bret comes back with a rake to the eyes and we head back inside. A bit of trivia for you: Konnan is credited as the man that taught Bret the Sharpshooter. The Canadian hits a Russian on the Cuban but the elbow from the middle rope hits a boot. Well the boot hits Bret’s jaw but you get the idea.

Konnan comes back with some choking which doesn’t give me a ton of confidence in his chances of winning here. Bret gets pounded down in the corner but when Konnan goes after the referee, Bret takes Konnan’s knee out. You know it’s not going to take much to get Bret to go after an injured limb and Konnan is in big trouble. The fans want Sting as Konnan’s leg is wrapped around the post. Bret hits the knee again and then grabs a chair to beat on it for the DQ.

Rating: C-. This was all about adding another body to Bret’s hit list and that’s fine. The match was nothing of note as Konnan wasn’t in Bret’s league but he was a big enough name for this to mean something. DDP would face Bret at the PPV and the injury angle would more or less disappear, which is a shame as the Hitman name was perfect here.

Luger makes the save and Konnan goes out on a stretcher.

Gene asks Jericho to come out here. Jericho says this is where he was born and he’s glad he left because this place sucks. Jericho asks “Greenberg” to come out because he’s 4-0 against him so far. Ralphus says Goldberg isn’t here but we see Goldberg in the back wrecking Jericho’s stuff. Jericho has his back to the monitor and has no idea this is going on. Cue Goldberg, who sneaks up on Jericho and spears the tar out of him. He talks some trash and leaves Jericho laying. These two never had a match in WCW because who would want to see that right?

Kevin Nash/Lex Luger vs. Giant/Scott Hall

Main event time. Hall tosses the toothpick but Nash counters with some spit. Classy guy there. Nash pounds him into the corner and hits the framed elbow and long leg choke. I don’t think we’ll see much besides signature stuff here. Hall escapes Snake Eyes and pounds away but Luger makes a quick save. Hall bails from some deadly posing and Luger beats on him a bit, again with just signature stuff.

Scott finally rakes the eyes and gets Giant in and it’s the same monster vs. any sized guy stuff you’ve ever seen: Giant beats on him, Luger punches to no avail and then Luger chokes. Hall comes in illegally and Luger has to beat both of them up at once since Nash is looking for hair care products. Giant finally hits Luger low to break the momentum and uses his fattness to take over.

Back to Hall who chokes in the corner as the fans chant for the Wolfpac. Has Nash just fallen off the face of the earth or something? I know he’s in the corner but I haven’t seen him do anything for about five minutes now. Giant breaks up a tag to Nash and chokes Luger on the ropes, being aided by Hall.

The Black and White (Hall and Giant) take turns for a few minutes with as basic an offensive set as you could ask for. The fallaway slam looks to set up the Outsiders’ Edge but Lex backdrops out of it. Nash FINALLY gets the tag and cleans house, hitting Snake Eyes on Hall and big boots for both guys. And never mind as here’s Bret attacking Nash’s knee for the DQ.

Rating: D+. This was pretty dull but for a main event tag it wasn’t the worst match in the world. Hart coming in was a bit of a surprise so it didn’t come off as a cliché or anything like that. The NWO war would go on for months until the point where no one could keep track of who was on which side, nor would anyone care.

Bret, Hall and Giant work over Nash’s knee until Luger makes the save with a chair to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. While nothing great and still too long at three hours, this was a pretty entertaining show. Until the Fingerpoke of Doom, Nitro was still a pretty entertaining show. If they could have found a way to wait out WWF’s time on fire, they could have kept the war going for years. Instead they tried quick fixes and made some horrible decisions, resulting in their demise. This was a good show though.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Summerslam 1991
Date: August 26, 1991
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 20,000
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Gorilla Monsoon, Roddy Piper

Obviously it’s a year later and there’s few differences. The main one is that Hogan is once again the world champion (stunning isn’t it?) and the Deadman has arrived. Other than that, there are very few differences. Hart is a singles wrestler now, so that’s the last major difference that I was forgetting. This card is really forgotten over time if you look at it from an historical standpoint.

The main event is Hogan and Warrior against Slaughter and his two cronies in a handicap match, meaning that Sheik Adnan al-Kaissie and the Iron Sheik are supposed to be equal to Hogan or Warrior? Remember Adnan? Neither do I. He was a manager in the AWA and that’s about it. The other big deal is tonight is the marriage of Savage and Elizabeth, because marriage, the most holy of unions, has to be on PPV right???

Other than that, this card is really forgettable. The main interesting point in this is what the Warrior did. He allegedly threatened to no show the PPV unless Vince paid him some obscene amount. He pulled this a few days before the PPV, and Vince really had no choice but to do what Warrior said.

This is where the “I couldn’t wait to fire him” line came from. Warrior got to the back after the match and was fired immediately. Other than that, there’s next to nothing of interest here, but I’ve seen worse cards be watchable, so maybe this one will be as well. Let’s find out.

Very standard opening with the song playing and the announcers talking about the big stuff that evening. Standard, but fine I guess.

Ricky Steamboat/Texas Tornado/British Bulldog vs. Warlord/Power and Glory

Steamboat is just called the Dragon here, and this is the famous scene where he’s dressed as a human lizard that breathes fire into the air. That’s a shame that he’s fallen this far this fast. He’d be back in WCW in just a few months where he was at least given some decent feuds and no stupid costume. Commentators completely ignore the match to talk about the matches later on in the show. Wait, they mentioned the six man.

You know I think these six…no it was just a quick thing about it. I feel like I’m watching a Nitro taping. Tornado comes in and all of a sudden they can’t stop talking about the match. I think that’s a bit of a shot at Steamboat by Vince. Literally, he was in there two and a half minutes and got one line about him. He leaves and the commentary is all about the match. We’re about 5 minutes into this and I’m still looking for a point to it.

I think it’s supposed to be Warlord vs. Bulldog, but I’m not sure really. It’s just a random group of faces vs. three heels with the same manager. I’m so utterly bored by this match that I can’t actually think of the words to explain it. It is just so standard and basic that I could see it at an FCW show. The wrestling is fine, but there’s no thought here at all. Faces win.

Rating: D. This was just so boring. Like I said, the wrestling was fine, but dang it was just there. There’s no thought, no story, no reason for this to take place. It’s an ok opener, but I would have wanted to see anything else.

Hey kids! Call this number if you want to hear a prerecorded comment from Savage or Liz about their fake wedding! Your parents won’t mind!

Mr. Perfect says he’s a great champion.

IC Title: Bret Hart vs. Mr. Perfect

Dang this was on second? This is by far and away the best match on the card and a lot of people, including Norcal, says that it’s one of the best matches ever. These two had such a magnificent chemistry together and it’s hardly ever been topped. I defy you to find a better pair of guys to have such consistent matches with. Stu and Helen are there…again. Has there ever been a match with Bret that they haven’t been at?

You don’t see them at Owen’s matches. No wonder Owen was the bitter one. Coach is there with Perfect, and sadly enough his death got NO coverage due to Misawa dying a day later. They start with a great set of back and forth stuff with no one being able to get an advantage. It’s one of those types of openings where you have a guy in control but he’s not dominating at all. Hart does that here by just having on a basic headlock.

Heenan continues to show why he’s as important as anyone on the roster as his lines about Bret’s parents make you want to cheer for Bret more than anyone else could. Perfect gets his singlet literally ripped apart by Hart which makes him look almost crazed about the match. He looks like he’s in a war despite this having been going about 7 minutes at this point. This is a great dynamic for a match as you have the young lion Bret facing the established veteran in Perfect, who has the exact same style.

Crowd is way into this one too, which is making it better. Perfect’s hair looks like he got a bad shock as his perm has practically exploded. He takes over though as Heenan is singing his praises. We get a hair toss, which isn’t something that you see that often in a men’s match. That would hurt too. Imagine being tossed by your hair. If that’s going to happen to me I better be getting paid for it. There’s a good story playing out here as Perfect counters everything that Hart has.

Hart kicks out of the Perfect Plex as the fans and Heenan lose their freaking minds. Heenan says that no one has ever done that, which is nonsense as Warrior did it in 1990. Hart brings up the original 5 moves of doom to put Perfect in “a whole heap of trouble.” Coach breaks this up though so Perfect has control again. He drops a let between Bret’s legs and backflips out of it which is cool looking.

He does it again, and in one of the SWEETEST counters I’ve ever seen, Bret grabs his leg, puts the Sharpshooter on him on the mat from his back, spins him over and then pulls back on it for the tap out. That was sweet. Bret runs over to his family to celebrate. We get to hear Stu’s voice, which I never recall hearing other than this.

Rating: A+. These guys were spot on the whole time. It was a nearly 20 minute match and I didn’t see a single botch or anything resembling a botch at all. That counter at the end was absolute perfection and it played so well into the rest of the match. These two had so much chemistry they might as well be a magnet high school. Great match all around.

Hulk Hogan has a special PPV coming up, which is nothing but his “biggest” matches. Forerunner to 24/7 I guess.

We cut to the back to see the Bushwackers and Andre the Giant, which has to the weirdest pairing of all time. Andre was completely gone at this point with big crutches holding him up. This is explained by Earthquake being the guy that injured him. This was his last major WWF appearance save for popping up at a battle royal in London a few months later, which wasn’t televised until on 24/7 and some special releases.

Bushwackers vs. Natural Disasters

It’s so sad to see the Bushwackers have to walk so slow to let Andre keep up with them. He just didn’t need to be out there at this point but you can see it in his eyes that he’s having a ball out there. His love for the business was so obvious and it’s a shame he wasn’t around for the big boom in the 90s, at least to see it if nothing else. Now in case you’re a freaking moron and can’t figure it out, this is a comedy match.

GREAT line by Piper. Heenan says if he were the manager of the Bushwackers he’s kill himself. Piper says go apply for the job. Piper was a freaking riot when he didn’t like someone. To further make this stupid, the Bushwackers beat them up to start. Can someone explain to me why this makes sense? Piper says that two guys from New Zealand are Americana personified. He can be a riot but he can also be a moron.

Heenan with a Larry, Darryl and Darryl joke to take the lead in the best commentator of the night race. Andre continues to point and grunt about various things. Heenan leaves to interview Hogan as the ND finally take control and the match gets boring. Did the Wackers EVER do anything of note? I can’t remember anything.

Anyway, as expected, this ends with a Bushwacker, the one that licked me at a house show, getting pinned. Afterwards the Disasters go after Andre but the LOD run out for the save and the showdown that I’m not sure ever occurred.

Rating: C-. It was a comedy match. What do you really expect here? It was however, pretty short so it could have been far, far worse.

Heenan goes to Hogan’s dressing room with the NWA title to continue what should have been the biggest showdown of all time, but they somehow screwed it up. Heenan’s unveiling of the NWA Big Gold Belt in 91 still ranks in my top five most awesome moments in wrestling history. Hogan (never seen or heard) slams the door in his face.

More Savage/Liz phone line ads. Macho is shown on the phone line. This is just stupid.

DiBiase and Mooney recap the Virgil/DiBiase history. As bad as Virgil was, this match was actually kind of epic as the pop for Virgil finally turning was pretty big. This is the rematch from Mania 7 where Virgil won by countout.

Million Dollar Title: Ted DiBiase vs. Virgil

The wrestling here isn’t the appeal. Virgil has had very few matches at this point while DiBiase is one of the best in ring workers of all time. Surprisingly enough, DiBiase dominates early on. It’s pretty basic with punches and kicks with a roll-up here or there. There’s just not a lot to say about the first half of this match. Both guys are going pretty light out there which is fine I think, as it’s really more about the storyline than the match itself.

Piper was Virgil’s mentor so he’s cheering wildly for him. Heenan gets in a great line about Virgil being so dumb he’ll try to bronze the gold belt. After about 5 minutes of Virgil getting beaten up, he catches DiBiase in a Million Dollar Dream until Sherri runs in to cause the DQ as Piper absolutely snaps.

HOWEVER!

The referee decides that’s not fair and sends Sherri to the back while ordering the match to continue. Now we get a better match as they’re going a bit harder but Virgil is hurt after being hit by the loaded purse. DiBiase proceeds to kick his body guarding teeth from one side of the ring to the other, but the ref was bumped so we have no one to count the pin.

A piledriver (which is what love feels just like sometimes) puts him nearly out as DiBiase takes off the turnbuckle. Virgil counters and rams him in twice. I don’t like the ending though as it takes Virgil about 20 seconds to get the cover and the win. Piper goes insane over this.

Rating: B. As I said, this was all storyline and it was a very fun one. Virgil rising up to face DiBiase and say that he’d had enough, leading to the big blowoff of him winning the title that literally was DiBiase’s was just perfect. The wrestling was pretty bad, but the emotion makes up for it.

The Mountie says he’ll win tonight.

Big Bossman says he’ll win tonight.

Jailhouse Match: Big Bossman vs. Mountie

The loser spends a night in a New York jail, which is kind of an interesting idea. This was around the time that Mountie was using this stupid shock stick to attack people. Monsoon says this will be a classic. That’s just comical. Piper would finally beat Mountie as he had a vest or something that absorbed the electricity, which is actually brilliant. There’s all kinds of bad prison jokes by Heenan here as this is supposed to be a huge match.

Apparently the loser also gets arrested and will have a criminal record. Dude, seriously, this is absurd. I still can’t get over the fact that Mountie beat Bret Hart and Hogan. You’d think he was Edge or something. This is a pretty boring match as once again it’s all about storyline as the match really just doesn’t live up to the hype.

Gorilla says that Hart is the best advertisement for birth control he’s ever seen. It just kind of happens slowly and no one cares about this match. Bossman wins and they take Mountie to jail, in one of the dumbest things I’ve ever seen.

Rating: D. I can’t believe I liked this as a kid. The styles just didn’t mesh. Mountie was better when he wrestled as a light weight, not this. Boss Man was outliving his usefulness at this point, but that can be attributed to them never really giving him a serious push. This whole gimmick as just dumb and the match was even worse.

DiBiase is mad that he lost the title, which was stolen from him.

Hart is happy about winning the title.

Jimmy Hart is with the Natural Disasters and is FREAKING OUT over Mountie. This is a pretty funny bit from him. The Disasters want the LOD. That’s not a good idea.

Boss Man makes fun of the Mounite as we must be on an intermission.

Gene is talking to Savage who is nervous, so let’s plug his phone call thing.

Holy

Freaking
Goodness

They actually put the intermission clock on the screen! It’s 5 minutes of dead silence, with the Savage phone number on the screen. You can hear the crowd cheering something. Boy it would be fun to actually SEE what they’re cheering for wouldn’t it? This is freaking stupid. I’m sitting here for 5 minutes waiting on a clock to count down. Why in the world was this left on the home video? I don’t want to look at a countdown.

Right now I’d rather read a book or something like that. We would have had to pay for this back in the day. After turning off my Best of Starrcade DVD which is more interesting to look at the box of than this countdown, we come back…to the Summerslam logo! My goodness people wonder why no one bought wrestling PPVs back in the day. At least give us some promos or something. Is it really that hard to do?

We go straight to the jail, where Mountie is arriving. My goodness, WHY WASN’T THIS USED DURING THE BREAK? If you want to have a live intermission that’s cool but don’t waste the money of the people paying by making them watch a clock. That’s just wrong. Yeah this isn’t funny.

The Nasty Boys are in the back and Jimmy is still losing it. This is going to be a street fight for the belts against the LOD. The champions leave but first, we go back the jail where Mountie is panicking over everything, this time being photographed which is apparently like taking his soul.

Gene is with the LOD who say this is right up their alley. This promo is more about the Natural Disasters than the title match they have next. But before that silly thing like a tag title match, we go back for more “comedy” as Mountie is offended by getting his fingerprints taken.

MORE promos as I’m just freaking sick of these now. Slaughter and company say they’ll win. This is just ridiculous as we’ve gone 20 minutes since the end of the last match.

Dang it I give up. Sid has to do a promo now since he’s the referee for the main event. Did we really need the 5 minute clock with all these promos? Was this intermission half an hour? We see a video of Sid being offered a spot with Slaughter’s team.

Tag Titles: Nasty Boys vs. Legion of Doom

What the heck, you mean you don’t want to interview the caterers? Like I said this is a street fight for the belts. It’s kind of funny hearing Gorilla have to play babysitter between the two commentators. LOD is WAY over. Piper says that stands for look out dummy. Actually I believe it stands for Legion of Doom there Roddy. Big brawl of course to start us off.

We talk about Sid a lot as the referee tries to get people to tag in and out. I will never get the point of that in a street fight. And after the first few minutes it becomes a regular tag match. Well sure why not. Hawk plays Ricky Morton in a weird casting decision. Sags hits a top rope elbow on Hawk for two as Animal saves.

Animal comes in off the fairly hot tag and yeah this is going to be dominance. The Nasties get in a helmet (Jimmy’s trademark with them for some reason) shot to Hawk which does nothing for the most part. Hawk hits both guys with it and the Device on Sags gives them their first WWF Tag Titles.

Rating: D. This was pretty weak for the most part. It started and ended fairly hot but the middle is just dull. It’s a tag team match for about 5 minutes and the rest is nothing at all. There’s nothing here worth anything other than the LOD getting their first tag titles which took them forever to get. Pretty weak here but it was quick. One thing though: did ANYONE not see the title change coming? Anyone? Nah I didn’t think so.

Uh oh. I think that crazy Mountie might be up to more hijinks. Let’s see what kind of shenanigans he’s gotten himself into this time, that little rascal. Oh look at this! That hilarious Mountie got put inside a cell! What kind of improbably circumstances could he find himself in there? Wait and see!

Survivor Series promo.

I.R.S. vs. Greg Valentine

Yep, it’s a filler on a show with a 5 minute intermission. I wonder if this qualifies for the worst booked show of all time. Valentine was completely done at this point and this was to do nothing but put over Irwin. Both guys here are great workers though so if you can ignore the stupidity of putting this on next to last after the ridiculous amount of filler we’ve already had, this could be a good match.

Apparently Roberts and Taker are in Madison Square Garden which is a huge deal. Yeah it’s not like those two could be on the card or something like that. Oh hey, did you hear that Mountie is in jail? Not sure if I made that clear, but Mountie is in jail for the night. About five minutes into this match, we address it. Remember what I said about this might be ok? I was wrong, this match sucks.

Valentine puts the figure four on him but he gets to the ropes without really selling it at all. He goes for it again and gets rolled up with a shoulder up and kicking out before the three, but I guess the referee says end this suckage now and I’ll buy you an Air Supply album. That’ll keep Valentine distracted for hours.

Rating: D+. I feel so bad for guys like this when the commentators aren’t the least bit interested in the match. At least give them something to work on. No one wanted to see this and it would have been better being much earlier in the show. It was pretty bad, but if the announcers had actually tried, it would have been at least watchable.

Hogan says to buy his PPV in the fall.

Hogan and Warrior are feeling patriotic apparently. The big problem with the whole Iraq storyline was this: the war had ended 6 months ago. There’s a running story/joke that Vince was hoping the war went until May so the main event of Mania would have made sense. Of course, since the writers were lazy even back then, which I believe the writers consisted of Vince back then, let’s just keep it going for another 6 months instead of having a real main event at Summerslam.

Slaughter/Mustafa/Adnan vs. Hogan/Warrior

Let me make this clear: no one freaking cares. Sid is the referee instead of having him face Warrior in what could have been a big match, or a Warrior/Hogan vs. Slaughter rematch which also would have been an interesting match. Ok no it wouldn’t have been but it would have been a real main event. The world champion is in a handicap match at Summerslam. This is so stupid. Let’s get this nonsense over with please.

In case you can’t tell, I freaking hate this show. The faces dominate early as the fans cheer and no one is surprised. The only interesting thing here is to watch Warrior as he knows it’s his last match. Nothing special from him as Hogan gets beaten down and has to get beaten up by a couple of 50 year olds. He even takes the camel clutch from the man he beat for the world title 7 and a half years ago. That’s just weird to think about.

Hulkamania was born less than 8 years before this. They actually acknowledge that he’s the Sheik which I didn’t remember them doing. Hogan makes his comeback and tags Warrior, who beats up the heels but then gets beaten down himself. My goodness where do they come up with this brilliant storytelling? I’ve never seen anything like it (tonight at least)!

Warrior with his comeback and then it’s a brawl, no one is interested, Warrior grabs a chair and chases the two near senior citizens to the back because he can’t beat them on his own where he’s promptly fired. Hogan uses some powder and pins Slaughter with Sid doing absolutely nothing of note the entire match. Posing ensues as Sid joins him. This was a BIG waste of time.

Rating: D. There is absolutely no thought in this match at all. It’s two faces against three heels. I don’t think there was any buildup, and if there was it’s not mentioned here. Hogan was about to drop the title to Taker in two months, and Taker isn’t even on the card.

There was a home video released where this same match happened, but Taker was in it instead of the old guy not named Iron Sheik. Now wouldn’t that have been better here? This was called the Match Made In Hell. That’s a perfect title, because it would be perfect in the 8th circle of torment. Horrible match and I’m glad it’s over.

And one more time, we see the Mountie in jail, this time being hit on by a fat biker. See, it’s funny because the biker wants to screw Mountie. See why that’s funny? I want to make sure it’s known that this is designed to be a joke, because I don’t think they made it clear enough. That’s a bit risqué for 1991.

We get the whole freaking promo of Savage proposing to Liz, as this is the match made in heaven. See what they did? Match made in heaven and match made in hell? See how intelligent Vince was to imply one was good and one was bad? Oh yeah that’s awesome indeed. In case that’s not enough emotion for you, we get a 4 minute music video, highlighting their entire history. The thing at Mania was amazing stuff and for the simple reason of it was spontaneous. This is just overkill.

The wedding is of course in the middle of the ring, which is of course set up to look like a chapel. Savage comes out first, in his hat, which has a, I’m not making this up, two foot high feather on it. We even have flower girls and ring bearers. Could this get any sappier? Liz comes out looking stunning of course as the only thing that’s appealing about the whole thing. They say I do and the show ends.

Now for the actual good part: the reception. This was a bonus on some versions of the tape that has some of the best comedy I’ve ever seen. We get the standard stuff: toast, first dance, cake, etc. One thing that’s funny here is Gene says Mr. and Mrs. Macho. Shouldn’t it be Mr. and Mrs. Savage? Now we get to the really good part, as they open their wedding gifts.

Savage opens one and finds a blender. “WE GOT A BLENDER!!!” For some reason this is just freaking hysterical to me. He sounds like he won the WWF Title or something. Anyway, they get some candlesticks to which Savage shouts that next time they should send money. Liz looks at him, wondering what’s this about next time. Savage turns back and yells KIDDING! Then it kicks off as Liz opens a box to find a King Cobra.

Taker appears out of nowhere and blasts Savage in the head with the urn. Did no one see the SEVEN FOOT TALL GUY IN ALL BLACK AND A COWBOY HAT??? Jake comes in with a snake handler’s glove and another snake, yet no one stopped him either. Sid comes in with a wooden chair to run them off as we end with me laughing my head off at it.

Overall Rating: D. This show sucked. It has ONE good match. The rest is bad comedy and a horrible main event. I literally couldn’t remember what the main event was at this show when I was trying to think of it the other day. That should happen at Judgment Day or something, not SUMMERSLAM.

Half the show was dedicated to an unfunny angle that was a waste of time. There is one match that’s bringing this up to a D from an F-. Watch that, and that’s it. This might be the worst of the big four that I’ve ever seen, including WM 11.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Summerslam 1990
Date: August 27, 1990
Location: Philadelphia Spectrum, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 19,304
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Roddy Piper

This is the first PPV that I ever had bought for me and we literally went through three copies of it as the tape itself was literally falling apart. As far as updates go, a few things have happened since we were last around for Summerslam. Ventura is gone which kind of sucks. For once, and this was very rare back then, Vince is handling commentary tonight.

Warrior won the title at Mania, having dropped the IC belt down to no one but Perfect won it in a tournament, becoming one of the best IC Champions of all time. Hogan has been out of action all summer after Earthquake beat him up, and tonight is his triumphant return to face the big man. Warrior is having a token title defense against Rude in a cage, in what would be Rude’s last match with the company before taking a year off before debuting as the Halloween Phantom in WCW a year later.

Finally, and this is actually the most important thing you’ll see, a mysterious person has been sending Sapphire very expensive gifts. It would turn out to be DiBiase, who would begin to feud with Rhodes, leading to November’s Survivor Series. At that show, DiBiase would bring in a mystery partner, who was from Death Valley. It blows my mind to think that matches this old were two months before his debut. He might have even been on some house shows at this point. Let’s get to it.

Anyway, this show is going to have a lot of high grades for pure nostalgia for me, so expect a high overall rating as I know about half the commentary for the show despite having watched it once in about 15 years.

Before the show starts, the version I have comes with a bonus promo from Warrior, standing behind a cage wall. There’s no ring or other three walls. It’s just a single wall of a cage that the belt is handing from. Well of course he’s got a piece of a steel cage!

Don’t you have one sitting in your living room? Standard Warrior insanity here as the big deal was supposed to be that Rude has been in cage matches before but Warrior never has. Does anyone remember Rude in a cage match that meant anything?

In something completely random that’s an exclusive, we get Brother Love’s Summerslam picks. This is very weird as Gene says you can make your picks now, for the MONDAY night showing of Summerslam. Yes, back then, PPVs weren’t always on Mondays. On my tape (homemade), this is AFTER the IC Title match, which is weird because he makes a pick for that match. I put this here because it makes more sense here, but I don’t remember this at all.

It’s billed as a double main event, but it’s Hogan as the centerpiece as usual. Roddy on commentary is just weird but kind of cool at the same time, aside from his anti-Iraq line in the first 15 seconds. This is getting annoying as I’m quoting everything both guys are saying.

Rockers vs. Power and Glory

Shawn is legit hurt coming into this as you can see him limping to the ring. They play on that by having Hercules (Power) hit him in the knee with the chain, making this a handicap match. We start with Paul Roma (Glory, and somehow a future Horseman) against Jannetty. It’s a handicap match which is all it can be. They touch on Shawn’s knee injury as they knew about it coming in so they pretty much had to keep this short.

Almost a third of the match is the brawl where Shawn’s knee is hurt and then the rest is Jannetty fighting for all he’s worth, even hitting the top rope punch at one point. However, he of course falls to the suplex/splash combination and gets pinned rather easily. Shawn gets in after the match is over and they beat on him even more. He of course acts like he’s been shot and caught in a bear trap as he’s put on a stretcher and is carted out.

Rating: B-. Absolutely perfect for an opener. This was all over the place and you had to pay attention to keep up with it. It was fast, in your face, and not bad at all. While for a regular match it would have been horrible, the crowd was hot as always being a Philly crowd, and this got them very awake.

Now the IC Title match is up next and it was supposed to be Beefcake winning the belt from Perfect, but he had the famous parasailing accident that pretty much ended his career. That wasn’t mentioned but it was the case. Anyway, this rookie named The Texas Tornado, Kerry Von Erich took Beefcake’s place and he’s getting the match on about a week’s notice.

IC Title: Mr. Perfect vs. Texas Tornado

Before the match we get promos from both, with Perfect saying he’s perfect. Now we move on to Tornado’s promo, and for some reason I have always loved this one. There’s not much to it, but it just is great to me for some reason. He talks about how he’s going to touch down in the ring and destroy everything in his path, then take the IC title back into the clouds. Something about this is just sweet to me.

Maybe it’s that Von Erich was an amazing talent that sadly would be dead in three years. There’s a somewhat infamous glitch here as Hennig is wearing yellow and Von Erich is wearing yellow in his promo. However, when he comes to the ring he’s wearing white, so I guess they had him change in between. His music is completely awesome too. Yes, I think I’m a Von Erich mark. He’s even rocking the old school sequin robes.

You can tell they made a quick switch as he still had the yellow knee pads on. The crowd here is so ridiculously hot it’s hard to believe. The match itself is actually pretty short and very standard stuff. The crowd being as into it as they are and Hennig’s mind blowingly good selling makes it work though.

He gets Kerry in the corner and slaps him a bunch of times before Von Erich goes off on him, landing a slingshot into the corner which busts his head on the post. Claw hold and Tornado Punch follow for a title change! Afterwards, Hennig falls out of the ring (likely legitimately drunk) and Tornado celebrates as Piper makes fun of him.

Rating: B. This was just pure fun. Perfect was so hated it was unbelievable and Tornado had the skills already that he could make it look good too. That’s the beauty of bringing in a guy from a glorified indy fed: there’s no learning curve. He didn’t have to spend time working with no name guys and you could throw him into the fire, knowing you’d get something good. Great way to put him over here, and it worked like a charm.

Gene is supposed to talk to Sapphire but she’s nowhere in sign. I smell a show wide angle! Heenan runs in to complain about the Tornado breaking rules. Perfect and Hennan’s freaking out is absolutely great. He really did go insane as well as anyone ever did.

Sensational Sherri vs. Sapphire

Oh lord this isn’t going to be good. Sherri is at least good in the ring, but Sapphire? DANG, I saw one of her matches and it made Jackie vs. Trish from Raw in 03 look good (Yes I know it was a tag match so save your corrections). Sherri is in a mask and paint. I guess there’s a point to that. Sapphire doesn’t come out. The music starts again and a third time and no big fat blue rock. Sherri wins by count out. This was purely a way to play to the major angle later on.

Rating: N/A.

Dusty is in the back with Gene saying that something strange is going on. When I was a kid this always gave me chills. In a completely random cameo that becomes unintentional comedy, Dusty calls over Hacksaw Jim Duggan and asks if they’ve seen her. He says no but they’re still looking. Duggan leaves.

He’s on screen all of 6 seconds but it’s just so random that it made me laugh. Dusty talks about the gifts she’s been getting, which are ridiculously expensive. Somehow no one picked up on the fact that DiBiase hadn’t been seen in awhile and only he could afford this. Dusty really is great on the mic. There’s something about his delivery that just flows perfectly.

Tito Santana vs. Warlord

If there has ever been a guy that had all kinds of opportunities thrown to him but just never could pull it off, it’s Warlord. He had an awesome build, a great look, a cool name and he got multiple mini pushes. I think the problem might have been he was too different looking. Maybe it’s that he wasn’t great in the ring. For some reason though, nothing ever worked for him. He wasn’t lazy or annoying or anything like that.

Simply put, he just never caught on. He was a generic big man with muscles, and I’ve never really understood why he didn’t get at least a bit of a reaction. At the time, Tito was a complete and total jobber to the stars. He was in the middle of nothing at the time and was just out there to make people like Warlord look good. Santana would become El Matador soon and it would kind of revitalize his career but not that much.

He was always good for a solid performance though, so it was clear why he stayed around as long as he did. I think I’m starting to get why Warlord never did anything: he’s the most generic guy I’ve ever seen in my entire life as a fan. There is nothing about anything he does that stands out. There’s nothing of note here really, as Santana tries as hard as he can but Warlord hits the powerslam to win the match in the end.

Rating: C+. This is quite acceptable on all levels. It was meant to make Warlord look good and that’s what Santana did. That’s why people like Finlay and Regal have jobs: they can make young guns look good and be realistic threats at the same time. Talents like them are hard to come by which is why they rarely get let go.

Demolition is in the back, and Mooney is confused about why Crush is there. The idea is that the Harts don’t know which two members of Demolition they’re facing. Apparently it’s Smash and Crush tonight. At the time, Demolition is considered untouchable and while the Harts were known to be great, they were thought to be past their primes at this point and only together in name.

You know, they’re actually quite funny on the mics. They tease the showdown with the Legion of Doom, and my god, the collective orgasms that 80s wrestling fans would have had for that match at Mania for the belts would have flooded a small country.

Tag Titles: 2/3 Falls-Demolition vs. Hart Foundation

Norcal and I have called this the greatest tag team match of all time, and I’m still waiting on another to top it. It’s certainly the best gimmick tag match of all time, at least in my mind. Before the match, the Harts say they don’t care which members of Demolition they face. Anvil says he’s not paid to think. He’s paid to be tough like an anvil. That’s a great line.

As they give the promo about giving Demolition massive heart attacks, I’m watching CNN’s coverage of Michael Jackson’s heart attack, which kind of kills the mood. MAN the Harts were over. I’m getting chills watching this. We go about 4 seconds of Smash and Bret before we get a brawl. Anvil comes in and just levels them both, leading to Roddy asking Vince how he would like it if a guy like Anvil came up to him and asked for a date with his daughter.

That’s quite funny considering who Vince’s daughter would become to us. Imagine Neidhart getting the HHH hate. That would be freaking hilarious. I swear his beard has magical powers. Roddy is OUT THERE on commentary. Crush hits a big move and looks at the crowd. Roddy: “We ain’t looking for dairy products here, we’re fighting!” What in the world does that mean? Am I missing a joke here or something?

This match has one of the best flows to it that I’ve ever seen. For the most part, it’s back and forth the whole way with neither team ever truly dominating the other. That’s a very difficult thing to do but when it’s done right, you have a great match. Hart is still the best guy out there, but it’s not like he’s blowing them all away. Demolition were a great team even with the change of Crush, and Neidhart it the absolute perfect complement to Bret.

It’s power and speed vs. a lot pf power, which is a great combination as always. Eventually of course we get a brawl, leading to Jim being knocked to the floor and Bret taking Demolition’s finisher for the first fall. This is what I don’t like about 2/3 falls matches. Demolition just pinned the Harts clean, in a standard tag match, yet the Harts get two more chances at it? I get the stipulation changed the way the match works, but that’s always made me scratch my head.

We begin the second fall with Crush and Hart again, just like the end of the last one, as Hart sells like the master that he is. Piper says that Hart needs to get his back under his feet. Wouldn’t that mean having your feet in the air and sitting down?

The style of this fall is completely different as it’s Hart getting beaten down instead of a back and forth match, which works very well for psychology, as we get a great flow to the match, using Demolition’s finisher as the turning point of the match. Anvil finally gets a tag and just kills Demolition. Easily the best I’ve ever seen him look as at that moment, he looked like he could have beaten just about anyone.

Bret gets back into it and the Hart Attack connects, but Crush, after missing his cue and having the referee save him, dives onto the referee, before picking him up and carrying him around the ring, which causes a DQ. Dang, after that kind of a save and he jumps the referee? Someone get that man a hot pretzel and a ham sandwich. He’s earned them. Crush should get a sandwich as well.

He was just giving the nice little man a hug for saving him on the blown spot. Shame the referee won’t open up his heart and let a little love in. The best part of this is Crush shaking his head, as if to say what did I do? It’s either bad acting or unintentional comedy, but either way it’s funny.

In between falls, Bret gets knocked to the floor. As Jim is looking at him, Ax comes down and hides under the ring. Now we get to the fun parts of this match, which is saying something as this has been great stuff so far.

So here we are now, one fall to a finish for the tag titles. We get down to a good old fashioned 80s style tag match and there’s absolutely nothing sweeter than this. It’s the Harts in control early with their powerslam/splash move, which despite having been used many times is still surprising to Vince. Geez how bad is this guy’s memory? He can’t remember how bad a lot of the stuff he puts on now is and he couldn’t remember stuff 19 years ago?

Anyway, Ax comes out from under the ring for the illegal switch and the Harts are in trouble all over again. Wow, who saw that coming? Did anyone ever have an issue telling Demolition apart? I certainly didn’t. Anvil keeps making save after save as Bret is looking like a human punching bag. As all this is happening, the fans are getting loud for some reason, and as we cut to the entry way, we see why: the most awesome team of all time, the LOD are here!

They pull Smash out from underneath the ring and break up another Demolisher (I know that’s not the name but dang it that’s what it should be called), leading to a slingshot shoulder block into a rollup to give the Harts the titles as the fans go nuts! The best part here is the Harts’ music not playing.

It makes you feel like it was a great shock and that the sound guy wasn’t sitting there waiting to press a button. I’ve always liked how Bret would kiss whatever belt he had at the time. It’s recaps a go-go as the music plays and the fans are going off.

Rating: A+. The fans wanted the Harts to win, they wanted Demolition to lose, and they got it in a SWEET style. This was a great tag match with all 5 guys in perfect flow the whole time. The Harts were the underdogs that we all wanted to cheer for and we got to do it. That’s exactly what the fans wanted and it made the fans happy. Couple that with GREAT wrestling and drama and you get a classic match. Norcal and I are right: this is the best tag team match ever, just for how much fun it is.

Promo for WM 7. My lord they messed this up. There were supposed to be 100,000 people. Naturally, this didn’t happen, so there was a bogus excuse to move the show to a smaller place. I love the promo though and could recite the phone number to you by heart.

The LOD are in the back, saying they still want a piece of Demolition, saying they’re the real big men. The Harts show up saying they’ll fight anyone. The emotion in their voices and the looks on their faces are absolutely perfect.

We go to Sean Mooney who is outside Demolition’s locker room, and he says all heck is breaking loose. I certainly don’t remember this much cursing on a 1990 PPV. I’m quite surprised at this. Apparently they’re mad at the LOD.

Gene is with Sherri, who is so proud of winning, and says she’s been hearing rumors about Sapphire.

Sean Mooney (what are these backstage interviewers getting paid tonight?) is with Volkoff and Duggan, who are a tag team for no good reason. They’re going to win tonight apparently. We get a really bad pun about if their opponents are the Orient Express, this is the American Express, and don’t leave home without them. Dear lord just take me now.

Earthquake and Bravo are with the other interviewer along with Jimmy Hart. It’s a recap of the feud with Hogan and Quake.

Jake talks about snakes vs. rats. While he’s doing this Damien the snake keeps wrapping around his neck and choking him. To his credit Jake never stops talking. This is about hunger or something.
Jake Roberts vs. Bad News Brown

Brown allegedly has over 200lbs of sewer rats but we never see them which is a good thing probably. Yep Jake appears to be drunk. Oh and Big Boss Man is the special referee. No reason at all for it but who cares about logic? Brown jumps him as the referee is on his way to the ring. Brown takes over and goes for a cover with his foot on the chest.

Both guys go for their finishers which of course don’t connect this early on. Brown grabs a chair and drills Jake in the stomach with it in front of Boss Man which is all cool apparently. Jake gets sent into the corner and flashes a screw you sign as he goes down. Classy dude there. Brown goes for a middle rope punch but Jake gets out of the way.

Brown’s offense is different but cool. Piper says something about oily heads and Arabs which Vince naturally ignores. Brown pops him with the chair again and that’s the DQ. That was rather anti-climactic but whatever. He tries to drop a leg on Damien afterwards but Boss Man makes the save. Roddy: you don’t want to hiss off any snakes. Brown jumps him and Jake gets the snake out to run him off.

Rating: C-. This was fine and the fans popped for the DDT as always. For the life of me though, I don’t get why there needed to be a guest referee. He was going to be in the real main event later on, so what’s the point of having him here?

Gene is with Demolition, who says the Harts cheated. For the love of god, how did we never get Demolition vs. LOD? Seriously, this had to be the easiest lay up of a feud of all time, and we never got it.

Brother Love Show

There’s little point here. Love gets a medal from Sgt. Slaughter as we officially kick off he’s the next top heel in the Iraqi sympathizer angle that few cared about but some will say gave you one of the best Mania main events ever. He runs down Volkoff, which would lead to a match…in February I believe. This was just an odd angle that didn’t work for me due to the timing of it, as the war was over when this really got going.

Sean is with the Orient Express and Fuji who say Japan will win. This team was pretty much nothing until the masked one showed up and they started going to war with the Rockers. Those matches were freaking awesome to say the least.

Gene finds Sapphire but she goes into a locker room. She won’t talk to anyone.

Orient Express vs. Duggan/Voljoff

Pure filler here as there’s no point to this other than to further the US vs. Iraq storyline. The faces sing God Bless America as my ears bleed a bit. Duggan proves to be a patriot as this was what he’d always hit Nikolai for when it was the Soviet anthem. Now for your pop of the night (so far) Duggan says bless the troops in the Middle East. This is a very, and I do mean very, basic tag match as Volkoff gets beaten up and Duggan makes the big save after the tag and gets the pin off the three point clothesline.

Rating: D+. It was just so bland that it wasn’t any good. It was pure filler and nothing of note happens here. It wasn’t bad, just completely unnecessary.

Dusty is pounding on the door Sapphire went through but she won’t come out. He has to go to his match but he’s going to get to the bottom of this tonight.

Dusty Rhodes vs. Randy Savage

Savage is the king at this point so he’s feuding with the Common Man, Dusty Rhodes. That’s a perfect feud for both so for once they got something very right. Rhodes’ music is just awesome. He power walks to the ring for a rather bad visual. Mooney is in the back standing on a ladder to talk to Savage who is on the throne. He also talks about the rumors that are going around which he still won’t reveal.

He does say that Sapphire is smart for not wanting to spend her life with a common man. Were Sapphire and Dusty supposed to be a couple? I never quite got that. Savage comes out on the throne. Dang I’ve always loved that entrance. How cool does it look? Savage fit this persona so well because he could back it up in the ring which isn’t something most kings could do. Savage was just so great back then.

Pomp and Circumstance fits the king gimmick so well too. Perfect match all around for him. Right as Savage gets in, you hear the best laugh of all time as DiBiase is on the stage, saying he’s going to prove everyone has a price.

Of course he’s the guy that’s been buying Sapphire everything and he puts it perfectly: “Who but the Million Dollar Man could afford to do it?” At the same time, everyone says a collective DUH! This is pure evil here and it supports my claim that he’s the greatest heel of all time. Sapphire comes out and takes a bag of money. Rhodes chases them but Savage stops him.

The match itself is about 2 minutes long and there’s nothing worth talking about. Savage starts in control, Rhodes fights back but doesn’t have the fire to do anything. However, Piper does mention that Sapphire didn’t want to be married to a common man all her life, so at least that’s some clarification. Sherri interferes and Rhodes takes a loaded purse to the head to end it.

Rating: N/A. This wasn’t about the match and at two minutes it’s not fair to give it a grade. For the angle, easy A though as this was just basic heel vs. face stuff, but given the performers, it was great.

Sean is in the garage as I wonder what kind of running shoes he has because he could be the fastest man on the planet given the exercise he’s had tonight. Virgil, DiBiase and Sapphire get into the limousine and leave as Rhodes chases them. Ok more like wobbles after them, but he goes down the driveway after them. However, he can’t catch them and I always got very sad about this. It was depressing to see him lose everything he had. In retrospect, this was a great angle.

Hulk Hogan vs. Earthquake

Quake comes to the ring with no real build. That’s rare to see anymore and I really like the way they’re doing it this way. After the heels are in the ring, Hogan and Boss Man are with Okerlund. Hogan says this is for Tugboat, who was the reason Hogan got the support that he did. Boss Man says the heels have the right to be served justice by Judge Hogan. Hogan compares himself to Washington and the Boss Man is Jefferson and it’s time to go!

Boss Man comes out first and the pop is so loud you can barely hear his music. For the love of goodness how loud is Hogan’s going to be? Yep, I’m deaf now. The roof gets blown off and you literally can’t understand what Fink says after Hogan comes through the curtain. All the standard Hogan stuff before we get going and the fans are so hot it’s insane. The wide shot here is awesome as it’s that little yellow thing that is causing the explosion.

Hogan should change his theme to Pac Man’s song. It’s the same idea: a yellow thing that is all over the place and at certain points is completely invincible. Sounds like it to me. Anyway, we get the bell and we’re up and running. They trade power displays and despite Hogan being announced at 302lbs, Vince thinks he’s at about 287, even though he looks exactly the same as he always has, if not a bit fat.

Very soon the two outside guys get involved and both should causes disqualifications but the referee lets it go for no apparent reason. Hogan, like an idiot, goes for a slam. Now he knows better than that. He’s WAY too healthy to do something like that. Why would he think he can do something that doesn’t go against any human sense? Come on Hulk you’re smarter than that. Wow I just said Hogan was smart. I’m working too hard I think.

Quake does a weird sequence where he goes to the top and then puts on a Boston Crab. More interference follows of course, leading to a Hogan comeback. Once again he goes for a slam and it doesn’t work, leading to the true signature Hogan match move: the sleepy hug! It must be sleepy since it needs so much rest. For some reason Hogan tries to grab at the referee and he rips his shirt. I don’t want to see Earl Hebner’s stomach, I truly don’t.

Hogan goes for a freaking cross body. Think about that for a second. That’s just weird to type let alone actually watch. Of course Hogan takes two Earthquakes before the power kickout. I love the way Earthquake hits the ropes. He just leans into them and it’s either great or lazy and I’m not sure which. Do I even need to explain what happens here?

Bravo gets the referee to prevent the pin after the leg drop though, allowing the true star of the match, the man that’s involved with Wrestleicious (ooo Wrestleicious baby!) to interfere before getting beaten up as well. At this point, it occurs to me that he and Hogan are the only two wrestlers involved in this match that are still alive. That’s a very sad thing to think of. Earthquake gets Hart thrown at him, which knocks him down.

So wait, Hogan jumping at him is an easy catch, but Hart knocks him down? Piper’s cheering for Hogan cracks me up as only in pro wrestling could you go from the feud they had to this kind of cheering in just a few years. On the floor, Hogan, in Phila-freaking-delphia of all places, slams Earthquake onto a table. This was over three years before Heyman even got to that city. I’m not even sure if Eastern Championship Wrestling was around yet.

The table doesn’t break and just falls over, but I wonder if this is what inspired ECW. There must be something in the water in that city. Seriously, what’s with the tables thing there? Anyway, Hogan wins by count out before jumping in the air like the end of a bad 80s movie. Come on now; give me some bad pop song as the shot freezes with him in the air pumping his fist. If that happened, I might have died of pure laughter. Post match…come on.

What do you think happens after the match? Actually, it’s not the most obvious answer. Quake completely no sells everything that’s just been done to him as he hits Hogan a few times and chokes him with Hogan lifted off the mat. Boss Man grabs a…I guess that’s supposed to be a chair but it looks more like a small ladder and blasts Quake a few times with it to no result.

The spinning of the nightstick of DOOM gets rid of the heels though so we can have our traditional music and posing. What made this posing thing so freaking cool? It’s just him standing there showing off his muscles, which was odd because there were guys with bigger muscles in the company. I guess it’s just that Hogan is who he is and gets cheers for whatever he does. He could even put on a tutu and dance and it would get high ratings.

Scratch that as Mr. Nanny bombed. Hogan dances around the ring like a chicken which is something that’s going to haunt my dreams for a long, long time. As he poses Boss Man, who also was Hogan’s mortal enemy about a year ago, kind of strolls around the ring doing nothing. Piper reaffirms my faith in him as he says it was a hollow victory and that Boss Man deserves a lot of the credit.

Now I feel better as that’s the Piper I know and love. He’s right too. What did Hogan really prove? That along with another guy he can win with a count out and not get a pin like he normally would? Yeah that’s certainly a great victory.

Rating: B+. This was exactly what it was supposed to be: a chance for the fans to lose their minds over Hogan. It left the door open for the rematch later with Hogan having no rust so he can beat Quake on an even playing field, but that never came at least not on PPV. This definitely should have gone on last though as there’s no doubt that this is the real main event. I remember when I was a kid I hardly ever watched the cage match after this as it just didn’t mean anything to me.

Granted I wasn’t ever much of a Warrior guy after he stole my hero’s title back in April. Anyway, this was a very fun match but from a technical standpoint, kind of sloppy, which given who’s in this, what were you expecting? Fine all around though, so this was a very solid match.

We cut to the back and see Rude with Heenan and Mooney. Rude cuts a very good promo talking about how Rocky Balboa and life imitating art. This is either off a script or great. Heenan is clearly ad-libbing, but Rude I’m not sure on.

Rhodes is here now, talking about chasing down Sapphire but not being able to catch up to her. This is a great promo, talking about how he’s been crushed and he’s only got the fans left to shelter him. This is 80s style at its best. The more promos I hear from Dusty, the more impressed I am by him.

We cut again down to Lord Alfred Hayes, who is in front of the cage that is being built and talking about how the crew is trying to break their record for building a cage, which is kind of interesting but the only thing I can think of is who cared about the cage being built? It’s kind of different and therefore kind of cool I guess. They talk about the way the cage is put together and the weight and dimensions. That’s actually quite cool.

We go BACK to Gene, who is talking with Hulk. I miss the interview centers at PPVs. Hogan is so juiced here it’s amazing. This is a promo that makes so little sense I don’t know where to start. Hogan beat Earthquake. Ok, that’s fine. However, he says he want to be #1 contender to the WWF Title. Again, nothing weird so far. He then says that if he’s not the #1 contender yet, he’ll beat Earthquake as many times as it takes until he’s the #1 contender.

What kind of sense does that make? If that’s the case, why not get Brooklyn Brawler and beat him 1000x until you’re named #1 contender? Hogan’s promos sometimes made less sense than Warrior’s. Also, he debuts the 4th demandment: Believe in yourself. He’s getting a new surfboard too. Hogan surfing is just funny.

Roddy and Vince kill more time, talking about the cage match as Roddy actually picks Rude to win it.

We cut to the back with Earthquake, Bravo and Hart screaming at Hogan and Bossman, saying that it’s not over. Actually it pretty much was. They hooked up at Survivor Series and a very, and I do mean very, brief encounter at the end of the 1991 Royal Rumble.

For the final (and it better be) interview of the night, we go to the Warrior, who has a joke. What do Heenan/Rude have in common with the Liberty Bell? One is cracked and the other is a ding dong. While it’s not funny, it’s just out there to hear from Warrior. He’s literally snarling the whole time Gene is talking.

This is not at all surprising. He says he has an inalienable right to the WWF Champion, which is a line that I really like. He’s going through the Preamble to the Constitution, which is actually really good, and comes dangerously close to making sense.

WWF Title: Ultimate Warrior vs. Rick Rude

In a cage remember. This would be Rude’s last major and perhaps last period match in the WWF as he bailed for WCW, but didn’t show up for a year. I guess he was doing indy shows or something. This was odd as he had been insulting Boss Man’s mom, paving the way for a feud between the two of them. Crowd is trying to care but they’re just so worn out from the Hogan match that I guess the break due to building the cage was a great thing for them.

Rude won’t let Warrior into the cage which is kind of stupid. You can’t win until he’s inside, so let him in. They fight on the edge, with Warrior outside and Rude inside. This is a pretty slow paced cage match where the cage is just kind of an accessory. I’m pretty impartial to matches like these, as they can be good or pretty bad, but occasionally you get a great one like at Summerslam 94. This is a far cry from that, mainly because it’s only about 11 minutes long.

That’s a bit of time, but still far from enough to really be effective and show off what the cage can be like. Maybe they’re trying to protect Warrior as they know he’s not the best in matches like this, but maybe they were just low on time. Rude gets the neckbreaker blocked for about the 112th time by Warrior which is still something the announcers have never seen before. Does Vince ever watch a match?

Rude more or less dominates here and screws up huge as he goes to the very top of the cage while Warrior is down and just sits there. He hits a big punch and knocks Warrior silly, but dang man he could have built a new cage in the time he had up there. It made no sense and Piper is losing his mind over how stupid it was on Rude’s part. When Piper says you’re stupid, you’re stupid. What could possibly be stupider than that? HE DOES IT AGAIN!

Good grief no wonder he never won the world title. He was too stupid to do it I guess. Anyway, Rude gets knocked down and here comes the comeback that you all knew was coming. Rude stops it though which surprises me. They go back and forth until Heenan gets in somehow and gets beaten up. NOW we get the real comeback and you know the drill here.

Piper makes an interesting question: when Warrior does the pumping press slam motion, WHAT THE HECK DOES THAT MEAN??? Warrior gets the slam and the splash and climbs out, swiveling his hips as he leaves to keep the belt. He poses with the blue/purple belt by swinging it over his head. We plug Survivor Series one more time as we go off the air.

Rating: C-. Crowd just didn’t care after the Hogan match and the 10 minute wait to put up the cage. It was an ok match but absolutely nothing of note happened here. It was exactly what you would expect and no one thought Rude had a freaking prayer. This was ok, but that’s all.

Overall Rating: A-. It’s personal bias, but I freaking love this show. You get a pure classic in the tag title match, some GREAT promos all night, although too many promos in general, a show long story, a white hot crowd, and some nice chances to catch your breath with some filler and how do you not have an awesome show? That’s the thing about filler: it can be a great tool to have, but it’s so easy to go overboard with it and if that happens, you’re in real trouble because the fans are bored.

Feuds were begun and ended, stories were advanced, and the crowd went home happy. How does that not sound awesome? Definite recommendation as they nailed the formula here: have a big card without being as serious as Mania but treat it like Mania, if that makes sense.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Summerslam 1989
Date: August 28, 1989
Location: Meadowlands Arena, East Rutherford, New Jersey
Attendance: 20,000
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Jesse Ventura

So we’re a year removed from the first Summerslam and quite a bit has changed in the WWF. Savage is now a full heel and no longer the champion, having dropped the title to Hogan at Mania 5. Their feud continues though as Hogan is now teaming with Beefcake to face Savage and Zeus in the main event. Now the Zeus storyline was, ahem, interesting I guess you would say.

Here’s the idea: Hogan made a movie called No Holds Barred. To wrestling fans, this was and still is proof that there’s a god and that he has a sense of humor, as this may indeed be the worst movie ever filmed. It’s corny, it’s stupid, and it’s nothing but a way to push Hogan down our throats. Seriously, this makes Cena look like Clark Gable.

Anyway, Zeus the character, real life name Tom Lister, wanted revenge on Hogan the wrestler, not Hogan’s character Rip from the film. If that made no sense, it would be like villain from 12 Rounds, whoever that was, coming to Raw to try to kill John Cena. See why this feud was bad from the beginning? Wouldn’t Zeus be angry at the screenwriters and not Hogan? Shouldn’t he be heading for a board room or something like that?

Dang this guy needs a new agent. Anyway, there’s one major flaw with this storyline: Lister wasn’t a wrestler, but an actor. This leads to one big issue: he doesn’t know how to do anything in the ring other than choke Hogan. This proves to be a storyline that’s looked back on fondly as it was something I grew up watching, but in modern times this is pretty freaking ridiculous.

Anyway, this is a big tag match, even though there’s another one in a cage a few months later that’s the real blow off to this, and likely a better match. Your other big match, which oddly enough was the first time those words could be used to describe this series, is Rick Rude vs. Ultimate Warrior for the IC Title in a rematch from Mania 5 where Rude stole the belt in a stunning upset.

Other than that, it’s mainly filler matches that no one really wanted to watch. It looks like a far better card on paper than last year’s show, which isn’t saying much to be fair, but let’s see how it is.

First thing we see: big sign saying that the show is tonight at 745. Well thanks for letting me know that since I’M WATCHING THE SHOW. How stupid were the 1980s? That music is freaking sick though and I love it. Pure retro WWF music is something that will never be topped. Why in the world did I not have a Hulk Rules shirt? Oh and we have a tag line: Feel The Heat.

Well ok then I’ll make sure to do that. Tony and Jesse do your run of the mill intro talking about the two big matches until Tony says away we go. Apparently we’re going away to another intro. This one is of wrestlers squashing jobbers with cuts of non wrestling people doing various summer things: softball, ice cream, swimming, etc.

This is like a weird intro to Wrestling Challenge or something like that. It ends with Hogan hitting Zeus with a chair and Zeus slowly turning to face him before we hear some familiar music.

Hart Foundation vs. Brain Busters

Busters just recently won the tag belts from Demolition, ending their epic reign that will simply never be topped. However, this is non title because the Busters won the titles after this match was signed, which I guess is trying to protect the belts while keeping the Harts strong, but it still doesn’t make it sound all that great. The champions still have no music for no apparent reason while the Harts music sends the crowds into the official land of insanity.

This was around the time that everyone knew the Harts were the best tag team in a LONG time and perhaps the best team ever, and that the belts were rightfully theirs. I’ve always like the jog that the Busters did on the way to the ring for some reason. Makes them seem more serious or something I suppose. I also like the no music. It makes them seem like two guys that do nothing but just go out there and wrestle. That’s a gimmick in and amongst itself.

Lance Storm made it work very well, as did Arn Anderson. According to Jesse, if the Harts lose they might not get a title shot again for another year. In this era, there’s an excellent chance that he’s correct. That’s how competitive the tag division was at the time. In two months you’d see a tag team survivor series match with some TEN TAG TEAMS. I don’t mean two random guys put together and called a team.

TEN sets of guys that were legitimate teams. To say that the Harts dominate the first half of this match is an understatement. I don’t think the champions have control in that time frame at all, but they somehow never look like they’re completely out of it either. That’s a nice touch and something that’s rather difficult to do if you think about it. But wait, what’s this? The champions….are starting to win? What a concept!

The champions are winning a match in the style they’re champions of! That’s a great idea indeed and makes the match better as it extends it, making it back and forth. Arn hits the ropes and Bret uses a knee to his back to break his momentum. That’s a pure heel move but it gets a massive face pop here. I love how in wrestling the fans are so preconditioned to cheer and boo for certain people. That’s something you only get here.

We get a brawl once Hart gets the tag and eventually it’s Blanchard and both Harts in the ring. He gets the slingshot shoulder block which I’ve always marked out like crazy for, followed by the powerslam/splash move where Jim picks up Bret and reverse powerslams him onto Tully for the cover. Arn with a double axe handle, which normally is just a basic move, apparently knocks Bret out here for the pin.

Rating: B+. This was some great 80s tag team wrestling which is what the 80s were best at. All kinds of double team work and back and forth style which is just a treat to watch all over the place. Harts dominate but the champs come back in the end to steal the pin, which is a very nice touch as both teams look strong. Very good match and the perfect opener.

Dusty Rhodes, wearing Big Boss Man’s hat and holding his nightstick, is going to face Honky Tonk Man, which was a weird feud to say the least. He’s not worried and it takes him about a minute and a half to say that which includes 28 complimentary lisps.

Dusty Rhodes vs. Honky Tonk Man

Yep, it’s a comedy match. This was just an odd feud to say the least and I’m not quite sure who thought this would work well on camera. Neither guy could carry a match so I guess it falls on Dusty here. Dusty has a reputation for being one of the most lazy as well as one of the most inept guys in the ring and this is no exception. We’re 2 minutes into it and what do we get from Dusty? A rest hold of course!

And not just any rest hold mind you, but the lethal slight ankle twist…….OF DOOM. Hart on the megaphone is always great stuff as you could tell he loved every second of being out there. This cameraman has way too much of a tendency to focus the camera on Dusty or Honky’s fat. That’s not something I want to see a lot of. Dusty of course no sells the offense which makes Honky look even more ridiculous as we get even more rest holds since neither really has a big offensive range to speak of.

Think about it: what do you remember Honky doing other than a swinging neckbreaker? What stands out for you from Dusty other than a bunch of elbows? Dusty fights back, leading to a Honky rest hold. Literally, we’ve probably had 40-50% rest holds so far. What the heck are they resting from? Oh here’s Dusty’s next comeback and it’s the more interesting variety of elbows and punches rather than punches and elbows this time.

Ref goes down and Jimmy accidentally hits Honky with the guitar, leading to a BIG elbow drop from Dusty for the pin. Sean Mooney picks 18 seconds after Honky gets hit by a real, not the Jeff Jarrett breakaway kind, of guitar to interview him. Honky thinks he’s Elvis, that Jimmy is Priscilla and that he needs to kiss Lisa Marie before he gets on stage tonight. That’s an image that I don’t want coupled with one I do want actually.

Rating: F. This was atrocious. Both men had issues wrestling anything close to a passable match and were asked to put on a good match out there. That’s a bad combination and Dusty apparently was sleepy as he was in about 18 rest holds in a 10 minute match. That was the biggest issue of the whole thing for the most part. Honky was a great comedy heel, but even he couldn’t escape from the gravitational force of the suckage that comes from Dusty’s fat.

Duggan, in Demolition mask, along with his partners for later tonight Demolition, talk…about something. I think it’s about training for their match later.

Mr. Perfect vs. Red Rooster

Perfect is a guy that can do anything and everything perfectly. Rooster is a man that walks around making chicken noises. My goodness what a gimmick can do for someone. There’s a bit of a joke here as Rooster was offered the Perfect gimmick buy turned it down and was given this I believe as a punishment. Hennig took it just so he could have a job in the WWF.

I think we know who made the right choice. It might be this gimmick but I’ve never been able to stand anything about Terry Taylor. He’s the most worthless wrestler I have ever seen. Dude, did Taylor botch a slam? Hennig is what, 250? How do you botch a move like that? Tony says that a dropkick was totally awesome! DANG that didn’t sound right coming from him.

They fight on the floor for a bit as I think Rooster is injured. He’s limping around a lot and I don’t remember Hennig doing anything to his leg. I think so even more as they go back in and NOW, you’re going to see a Perfect Plex! I mean they’re inside and within a second he’s got the headlock on him. That has to be a fast ending. Taylor can’t even sell the Plex right, as he sells it like he’s out cold. It’s a suplex with a bridge, not a freaking power bomb. You don’t sell it like you’re dead.

Rating: C+. This was WAY too short to really be anything as it was less than 3 and a half minutes I’d say. However, if Taylor actually was hurt that’s not their fault at all. For the time they were out there it was good though. I think it was the slam where he got hurt though. He was on a big offensive run at the time and a quick slam would have fit in there perfectly. After that it fell apart which I think was due to the injury. I’ll go with the decent ranking when both were healthy instead though.

EXPLETIVE! At least that’s what Gene Okerlund has to say when the Summerslam logo falls behind him as he’s trying to interview Rude. The funny part is it falls, he hears it, he looks down at it, and THEN he says what he said. They cut away immediately and Tony tries to imply nothing happen as Jesse is completely losing it on commentary. This was hilarious.

Tito Santana/Rockers vs. Rougeaus/Rick Martel

Random six man tag. This should be good I suppose given the guys out there. Oh and Jannetty will be ok too. It’s a classic tag feud mixed with singles feud so…ROUGEAU MUSIC!!! Holy goodness I love this song as it just rocks all around. As I check, yes indeed Jimmy Hart wrote it. With lyrics like “we don’t like heavy metal and we don’t like rock and roll. All we listen to is Barry Manilow.”, seriously, how can you go wrong?

Eighties wrestling music was so mind blowingly great it’s hard to stop. Slick managed Martel? I don’t remember that. As expected given the names in this match, everything goes insane in just a few seconds. The Rockers are in and it’s dropkicks a go-go all over the place, followed by the tag team throwing Santana into Martel. As they would today, the heels take over when we’re back in the ring. After that, it’s standard material that works pretty well I’d say.

Everyone in there is at least a decent if not good worker. After about 5 minutes of heel dominance, we get to the inevitable brawl with the faces taking over. Hart gets on the apron but is cut off by Jannetty, who is rolled up but reverses the rollup into one of his own. Martel runs in and lands a devastating…punch, which knocks him out for the pin. Tony screams that neither was the legal man, but who cares about that?

Rating: B+. This can be summed up in one word: fun match. You had six….that was two words wasn’t it? Oh screw it. I’m a political science major because there’s no math so who cares? Anyway, these guys just went out there and had fun. They had almost 15 minutes and made the most of it. Great little match that was fast paced for about 90% of it which helps it a lot. Makes the heels look strong while holding off on the Martel vs. Santana match, which is a plus.

Recap of Warrior vs. Rude, which was actually an epic rivalry. These were two guys that for no reason at all had amazing chemistry together. I don’t ever remember them having an actual bad match, which is odd for Warrior. It started at the Rumble where they had a pose down and Warrior had the IC belt.

At the end, Rude hit Warrior with a steel exercise bar and choked him out with it. Warrior chased him down and didn’t catch him until Mania, where Rude had Bobby Heenan hold Warrior’s foot to steal the title. Since then, they’ve been randomly feuding on and off as Warrior fights the whole Heenan family and a week before Andre beat him up. This is your rematch.

Wait, we need more rambling. Warrior talks about…Andre of course. Oh he throws in Rude too.

Intercontinental Title: Ultimate Warrior vs. Rick Rude

Rude does his standard intro that seems fresh despite being used about a million times. As he says hit the music, my tape jumps and I get a split second of the Gobbledygooker egg at Survivor Series 1991 which I’ll be getting to later on. That was really quite odd. Warrior is of course completely insane as he comes to the ring as Jesse wonders what asylum he was let out of.

In this series, Warrior would almost always dominate early on and this is no exception. I like that, as it fits Warrior’s character very well. Also, as they did at Mania, Rude’s back is hurt. Rude’s selling of the atomic drops are nothing short of classic, rivaled only by that of the Genius. Warrior goes to the top twice, which is just odd to see. However only one works as the Ultimate balls are crotched on the top rope.

He also throws on one of the best reverse chinlocks I’ve seen in a long time. It’s closer to a camel clutch but who cares? Rude goes for the Rude Awakening and just has it ripped off. As this is going on, images of Warrior in full character start coming to me. This is absolutely classic stuff as him freaking out on his trainers is nothing but funny stuff. They go back and forth as the ref gets bumped.

Powerslam by Warrior but a slow count allows Rude to get his foot on the bottom rope. This match has some freaking drama to it. Rude hits kind of a weird jumping punch off the top rope which isn’t something you see every day. Rude gets a piledriver as Roddy comes out, whom Rude had been feuding with lately. As he’s there, Rude gyrates at him for no apparent reason, resulting in Roddy mooning him. This gives Warrior the time to heal, leading to the slam and the splash and the IC belt.

Rating: A-. This was a very fun match. Like I said, these two just have freaky chemistry together for no reason at all and every time they’re in the ring it works well. Warrior is slowed down in these matches and it works quite well for him. Rude was a completely opposite style than his but for some reason they just meshed so well. Great match that made sense and furthered Piper vs. Rude like it was supposed to do. Warrior would hold the title until he vacated it after winning at Mania.

Sean Mooney is in the audience and says it’s awesome in a completely pointless scene.

In the back Gene is with Mr. Perfect, who says that Rooster was just a stepping stone, while using for what may be the first time, his signature line: Nobody beats Mr. Perfect, NOBODY. That’s actually a very good line.

Without cutting at all, Roddy shows up to be interviewed by Gene, who makes jokes about flashing Rude. Piper is either so coked up he can’t see straight, or he’s the best promo man that’s ever existed.

Again, with no change in the camera shot at all, Ronnie Garvin is here as my level of appreciation for this show falls. In case I haven’t made it clear, I hate this guy. He says he has a special assignment but Heenan runs in to complain and absolutely lose his mind over what Piper just did. This is great as Heenan is completely insane at this point. We have to be on an intermission here as this is the 4th interview in a row. Rude comes in and freaks out with less comedy.

Jesse agrees with Bobby.

Following that 5 minute barrage of interviews, we get a recap of the main event feud. Apparently Hogan and Zeus were feuding on the set of the movie, and Z appeared on SNME. Macho and Zeus hooked up in July to continue Savage’s feud with Hogan. Yeah this recap is really boring. We get the famous scene of Zeus attacking Beefcake and Hogan smashing him with a chair and Zeus just turning around.

This was SO much better when Dusty and Boss Man did it in the NWA. That’s the really famous one where Rhodes took the wooden chair and smashed it over Boss Man’s (then called Big Bubba) head, shattering it into a bunch of pieces. Bubba no sold it and just adjusted his tie. That’s awesome right there. This goes on for five minutes and it’s just not needing that much time.

Big Boss Man/Akeem/Andre the Giant vs. Jim Duggan/Demolition

This is just a straight old grudge match which should be fun. We get Jive Soul Bro so everything is right in my world. Andre just looks bad here. The heel team is 1,300 pounds. That’s freaking scary. When the 400lb+ Boss Man is the smallest guy on the team, that’s saying a lot. Duggan is in the Demolition mask here and Jesse makes a Jason Vorhees joke for no apparent reason.

He’s also King at this point which didn’t last that long. Ah ok the mask does look like a black Jason mask so that works fine. He has an American Flag painted on his face so Jesse has to go on a big rant. The 2×4 has a crown on it which is kind of cute. Duggan and Akeem start us off and Duggan defies the laws of PG with some harsh language.

The faces work over the African Dream a bit here which is smart as he’s definitely the easiest target of the three. And so much for that as Boss Man is in now. Now they work over him too as I’m noticing a theme of some sort. Some double team shenanigans allow Andre to come in and Axe is in trouble. Andre sits on him and it’s amazing that he’s still alive.

For once the USA chant makes sense as Andre is a Frenchman. Akeem, the wrestling master that he is, allows Axe to get the tag and bring in Smash. He gets a slam on both guys to put the heels in trouble. And then Andre smacks him in the head to take care of that. Akeem gets a second rope splash on Smash but Duggan pops him with the board to take care of that and get the pin. Big pop for that also which is kind of surprising.
Rating: C+. This was just a good old fashioned fight and there’s nothing wrong with that. Given the 6 guys in there, what were you expecting out of this match? These guys were just beating on each other for the sake of beating on each other and it was fun. Fun little match that worked quite well for what it was.

Survivor Series ad.

DiBiase says he’s going to beat Snuka.

Hercules vs. Greg Valentine

Ronnie Garvin is the surprise ring announcer. What did the fans do, burn something huge? How in the world he got a pop and earlier in his career actually FREAKING BEAT RIC FLAIR FOR THE NWA WORLD TITLE is beyond me. He’s fighting with Valentine over something and he insults Valentine and Hart in his introduction. These are the worst insults of all time.

He says Valentine claims to weigh 249 but looks to be overweight by 30 pounds. Is that actually an insult? He’s saying Valentine weighs less than he looks? “When he goes to his manager for advice, Little Jimmy can’t give him any.” What kind of a mean thing to say is that? Dear god this guy is awful. He says Valentine has two left feet. Garvin is insulting his ability to dance now??? In case you can’t tell, I really hate Garvin.

This match goes on for about 3 minutes and I think Hercules uses 18 punches and a suplex. Valentine uses his feet on the ropes and gets a pin. Garvin, the guy this match is focused on is, says that he feels Hercules is the winner. Based on this, the referee disqualifies Valentine. Herc and Garvin beat up Valentine.

Rating: F-. I hate Ronnie Garvin. He’s involved in this match, so it sucks.

We then get what has to be the weirdest promo of all time. Gene is with Sherri, Macho and Zeus, around a freaking cauldron of all things. They say….something about bad things coming to the faces tonight but I really was too confounded to listen. This was far stranger than it sounds.

Ted DiBiase vs. Jimmy Snuka

DiBiase, still with no music, mentions he ended Jake Roberts. Snuka comes out to NO reaction at all, but Tony tries to tell us otherwise. Jimmy is rocking the zebra tights instead of the tiger ones he usually has. They’re really not working for him. Standard stuff here that’s really not interesting to say the least.

Punches, kicks, occasional suplex, DiBiase misses a big move, Superfly goes for the splash but Virgil makes the save, Thanks to Virgil we get a count out. Post match he beats up Virgil and splashes him which gets a ton of flashbulbs.

Rating: D. This was so boring and really didn’t need to happen. It is the definition of filler which this show was full of. They seriously need to get to the end of the show NOW.

Mooney is in the audience…..again.

Beefcake and Hogan say they’ll win. Apparently they drove their Harleys across the river. Hogan uses some very un-Hulk like language, even saying sexy, to describe Liz and her “headlights.” Kind of makes me wonder what he was riding.

Hulk Hogan/Brutus Beefcake vs. Zeus/Randy Savage

Genius has a poem about Liz and Hogan which was a way to start paving the way for Hogan vs. Perfect very soon. As annoying as Beefcake was, he had a SWEET theme song. How in the world did I never get one of those Hulk Hogan teddy bears? What kind of a gimmick is a barber? That’s the best they could come up with for him? Hogan’s music hits and the fans go nuts. That’s saying a lot.

Hogan was so loved that the people would sit through three and a half hours of crap save for one or two matches for Hogan and Hogan alone. As Ventura puts it: THIS IS MASS HYSTERIA! No Jesse, THIS IS HULKAMANIA!!! My goodness that looks sweet in all caps. Screw  all the people that say Hogan sucks and plays politics. He is the greatest thing in the history of professional wrestling. Hogan tells Fink he has something to say. The pop for this is absurd.

She gets a pop on the level of the Warrior from earlier on. Macho is going nuts over this, as was expected. Macho is in gray/white tights, which just don’t work for him. My tape has a glitch in it as one minute Savage has Hogan in an Orton special, and the next Zeus is beating on Hogan. It’s a standard main event tag like last year but with more time given to it and it’s likely a better match because of it, but we’ve seen the formula before.

Face gets beaten down, mini brawl, other face takes over, gets beaten down, and then it’s hot tag to Hogan. Oh before I forget, Zeus is invincible unless you poke him in the eye first, and THEN punches hurt him. Why do I feel like I’m watching a mix of Zelda, the Three Stooges and Summerslam?

Sherri’s purse is loaded, which was later revealed to have a brick in it I believe, but THAT doesn’t drop Zeus. However, the slam and the leg drop do for the pin. Liz takes out Sherri and they cut her hair. Posing and recaps follow.

Rating: B-. This was fine for what it was, but it wasn’t anything we haven’t seen before, namely LAST FREAKING YEAR. It’s an ok tag match that no one would remember after the cage rematch 3 months later so this wasn’t anything too bad. Hogan of course looks dominant and another of his buddies gets a rub.

This would continue with Zeus for a few more months until the cage rematch where Hogan pins him with three leg drops as he apparently wanted to crush his immortal soul. Three leg drops are the equivalent of a nuclear explosion, so it’s no wonder Zeus didn’t wrestle for 7 years.

Overall Rating: B-. What an upgrade from last year! This was a million times better but that’s not really saying a lot. There were two featured matches this year so therefore the show looks a lot bigger. However, MY GOD THERE’S A LOT OF FILLER. This show never seems like it’s going to end as there’s probably 2-3 matches that could be completely cut. DiBiase’s could have been accomplished in a promo to say the least.

Hercules/Valentine could have been a short promo with Garvin running down Valentine (or being trampled under the hooves of stampeding camels), and the 6 man was just to get Andre and Demolition on the show. It’s light years ahead of 88, but next year the show really starts to get it right. Watch it if you’re a fan of 80s stuff and are quite bored.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

As luck would have it, I got the old format back on the day that the Summerslam Count-Up begins.

 

Welcome to another of my history threads. As I’ve done with Wrestlemania and In Your House, I’ll be starting with the first ever show in the series and every day put up a new review. This will culminate with this year’s Summerslam, as the 2008 review will be put up the day before Summerslam, and I’ll be doing a live review of the 2009 edition which will be posted immediately after the show, assuming that nothing goes wrong.

I love doing these things and in case you’re wondering, yes, I will be doing Survivor Series, Royal Rumble, and likely King of the Ring among other one off shows in the future. Anyway, enough from me. let’s get to me! Wait what?

We have arrived at the biggest party of the summer, Summerslam. In the year of my birth, WWF decided to expand its annual PPV load to three instead of the two they had the previous year. Wrestlemania was fairly entrenched in the business and based upon its success we were given the Survivor Series the prior year, which really was based on the strength of Hogan vs. Andre.

Based off the popularity the company was seeing around this time, the order was given to have another show in the late summer to help further bridge the gap to Wrestlemania. You have to remember that at this time, there was no Raw or Smackdown or anything like that. What you got was a weekly Sunday morning show that not everyone got and was sometimes on in different timeslots depending on where you were.

Think about that: Raw on Sunday morning or Wednesday night depending on where you were? Of course it would never work today, but at the time Superstars, the (typically) Sunday morning show, was the undisputed flagship show of the company. Anyway, since there was nothing else to go on, PPV was HUGE at the time. Today with everything watered down to the point where we have sometimes two PPVs a month, having a third added to the schedule was huge.

This would be the mathematical equivalent of adding 6 more PPVs to the schedule. Think about what a big deal this was. Anyway, Summerslam was added to the schedule to make it the third PPV of the year with the Rumble being made a PPV the following January to finally establish the traditional Big Four.

Summerslam was initially just used as a bridge to get to Mania with a grudge match in the main event before shifting over to being the official second biggest show of the year a few years later. My first ever PPV was Summerslam 1990, so this show holds a special place in my heart. Since this show is considered to be the second biggest show of the year, the shows have to be good right? I certainly hope so, so let’s get things going!

Final Note: Factor in that I started writing these back in June, so many of the references may be a bit dated. For example, I make a reference to a guy being about the level of the Miz, but his character has since changed, so if something makes you scratch your head, that’s likely what’s causing it.

Summerslam 1988
Date: August 29, 1988
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 20,000
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Billy Graham

The first show. This show was completely capitalizing on WM 4’s tournament with Savage being the victor. Now I’ve heard two separate versions of what the initial main event for this show was supposed to be.

I’ve heard that the original plan for the tournament was to have DiBiase’s master plan (see the WM history thread for details) to have worked and have DiBiase win the belt over Hogan, leading to Savage challenging him here for it and then we get a 6 month Mega Powers angle, or the same one minus Savage holding the belt which I think would have made more sense given some of Hogan’s promos leading up to Mania 5.

The other version that I’ve heard, and the one I give less credit to, was that the plan was to have Flair come in for a feud with Savage leading to a title vs. title match at Summerslam with Savage, ending in either a draw or Flair winning both titles briefly.

I consider this nonsense because according to EVERY other source I’ve heard and based solely on everything that’s been on WWF television during this time period, to say Savage vs. Hogan was locked into Mania 5 is almost like saying Vince has a bit of influence on the way the product is presented. As for the rest of the announced card, there really isn’t one.

I mean literally, there was nothing else announced for the show and the box art on the VHS is Savage/Hogan and DiBiase/Andre, which is the main event, billed as the Mega Powers vs. the Mega Bucks. I’m not putting a lot of faith into the show, but let’s see if it lives up to its 80s awesoemness.

Intro is as painfully bland as any wrestling intro is in the 80s, with the WWF logo flying over water for no particular reason before we get a shot of New York City with Gorilla commentating about the show, saying nothing that you wouldn’t expect him to say. Of course Madison SQUARE Garden is the roundest building you’ll ever see. We get a more standard intro with the four guys in the main event along with Liz and Virgil and Ventura, who is the referee tonight.

This is more like it with the kick ass WWF 80s song in the background. After that we hear our commentators, with Monsoon sounding so completely unexcited about this show that it’s pathetic. Now granted it was a new idea at the time and no one really had a clue if it was going to work or not, but at least try to sound excited please? Graham calls Hogan his hero which makes me laugh as Hogan stole half of Graham’s stuff to make himself the legend he is today.

The crowd is counting down something in the background which I’m guessing is the start of the PPV feed. We go straight from this to the first match, as the heels have no music.

Rougeau Brothers vs. British Bulldogs

Oh yeah now this is what I’m talking about. Clearly I’m talking about it because I’m writing about it as you know because you’re reading this since I guess there’s nothing good on TV. I have to turn off the IC Title DVD for this and I’m on the Shawn/Razor ladder match so I really must love you guys. Apparently the French guys are about to move to the US which gets boos from the crowd which I can’t quite get.

BIG pop for the Bulldogs who I think are about done at this point. Matilda clears the ring. The French dudes are heels that try to convince everyone they’re faces but still cheat in their matches. They would also hug each other WAY too much, and on the infamous occasion, one rubbed a Bushwacker’s balls. Very nice old school tag team match going on here with speed and power for the Brits against speed and cheating from your heels.

This is very solid stuff here and these guys are just beating the heck out of each other using some old school tactics. You get not one but two great beatdowns of one face before the hot tag, leading to the second which just makes this even better. During one of the beatdowns, this one being the one on Dynamite, he’s put into an abdominal stretch and Gorilla starts to complain about it.

For the love of all things good and holy, SHUT UP ABOUT THE STUPID FOOT. I have seen a lot of Monsoon matches and he has complained about the stupid foot being hooked in an abdominal stretch so many times that I want to hurt someone. Dang it let it go. It’s a freaking  rest hold that never wins anything at all. Although, maybe if they hooked the foot they would win with it…Oh screw it now I’m all confused.

Anyway, in the end the faces just start beating the tar out of the heels but they never quite can put them away. That makes both teams look equally strong as one team gets to show off their offensive skills and the other gets to show how resilient they are. That’s a very nice touch that you don’t’ see much anymore. Eventually both teams hit their finishers but only the faces kick out of them.

They don’t win though as just after Dynamite hits the headbutt, the time limit is up and we’re done. The Bulldogs chase the heels down with Graham saying that’s the right thing to do and to finish it in the shower if they have to.

Rating: B. This was a great way to open things up for both the show and the series, but the lack of a real finish hurts it. Both teams looked good here as neither really dominated either part of the match. Both teams were playing to their characteristics very well and all four men looked good. One thing though: I have never seen a match with so many monkey flips. Literally, I saw at least 5 of them and attempts at two or three more. Why so many I wonder?

We see how Ron Bass injured Brutus Beefcake in one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen. The idea is that he choked Brutus out and cut him open with a spur. Since we can’t handle a single cut on a guy’s head, a big red X with the word censored across it comes on screen. The problem is, the X doesn’t cover Brutus’ head but more of his chin, leaving the cut completely visible. This means he can’t challenge for the IC belt tonight.

Bad News Brown vs. Ken Patera

O…….k. Patera is one of the more interesting cases you’ll ever find in wrestling. He was legitimately one of the strongest men in the world as he had came in third in the first World’s Strongest Man contest. He was given the IC Title and was going to be given a main event level push and likely the title at one point. Until one night at a McDonald’s however.

He and a Japanese wrestler were refused service for one reason or another which I believe was that the restaurant was closed. Allegedly, Ken threw a rock through the window, although he still denies he did this. Later, the pair was arrested at a hotel but they beat up the cops. He was put in jail for two years and came back as a face to feud with the Heenan Family.

Allegedly, and that should be heavily emphasized, he and Hogan were supposed to main event Mania 4, which I don’t believe for a second as it just would have been awful. Anyway, at this point he just sucked bad and was a jobber to the stars so the ending here is a tad obvious.

This is little more than a squash although Patera is apparently the favorite. It’s only about 6 and a half minutes though so what do you really want here? Both guys are more power guys so the styles are already clashing. Brown is in control for the earlier part of the match and the rest is just Ken trying to lock in a submission for the win because he doesn’t know how to do anything else, which is rather pathetic.

He’s just awful out there as his only moves are the bearhug and the full nelson. He gets one on but the other, the nelson, never happens. Brown wins it after a running enziguri called the Ghetto Blaster which is just a sweet name to say the least.

Rating: D+. This was bad. Patera was just horrible and while Brown was pretty good, there was just way too much of a clash of styles to overcome. It was a good try I guess, but at the end there was just too high of a level of suck to overcome.

WWF is promoting boxing for some reason.

Hogan and Savage say that Elizabeth is their secret weapon. Doesn’t that kind of blow the secret aspect of it?

Rick Rude vs. Junk Yard Dog

Rude is of course a master on the mic as he always is, despite saying the exact same thing every time. At the same time, JYD continues to be the most overrated wrestler I’ve ever been forced to watch. He does nothing of note ever except head butt people. What’s the appeal of that, seriously? Graham says that he practices headbutting cars. Number one, why would Graham know that, and B, what in the world is Graham on?

Neither guy really does anything special here as it’s mainly rest holds and punching. Eventually Rude puts him down and goes to the top rope where he pulls his tights down to show tights with Roberts’ wife on them. This was in the middle of a huge feud with Rude and Roberts.

Rude has a gimmick of picking a woman to kiss before every match. One night he picked Roberts’ wife Cheryl and the kiss had no effect at all. This started the feud because it was apparently Rude’s fault that Cheryl let him kiss her. Anyway, it’s a DQ finish as Roberts runs down and beats up Rude because of the tights thing.

Rating: D. This was somehow worse than the last match. Back to back matches each running about six and a half minutes and both being horrible is a bad way to get a show going after a good time limit draw match. Seriously, Dog was awful as always so at least he’s consistent, Rude wasn’t sure of what he was doing yet, and Roberts had to save the whole thing. That’s never a good sign.

Honky Tonk Man says he doesn’t care who he faces tonight.

Bolsheviks vs. Powers of Pain

The Powers are actually faces at this point and managed by some guy named the Baron. They were pretty badly hated though while Demolition was ridiculously popular, leading to a double switch at Survivor Series. Once again, it’s a clash of styles. Neither team is popular or hated enough to really be cared about here so this is more filler as they’re beginning to acknowledge that this is a very bad card overall and they have no idea what they’re doing.

The Powers are definitely the best team here though and it’s painfully obvious that they’re carrying this thing. The Baron might be the most worthless manager of all time which is saying something as the Russians are managed by Slick. Warlord never once goes off his feet in this which makes the Russians look even weaker. This is a squash despite the Powers never really being in control until the end. Barbarian hits a sweet headbutt from the top for the pin and a surprisingly good pop.

Rating: C+. This was miles better than the previous two squashes as it was actually a squash and not a squash designed to look like a real match. It was designed to make the Powrs look good before the big showdown with Demolition, but the double turn that was absolutely necessary given the circumstances changed those plans in a big hurry.

Survivor Series promo, complete with footage from WM 3, as WWF continues to attempt to crush the NWA which I’ll cover more in detail when we cover the Survivor Series.

Brother Love Show

Hacksaw is your guest. Love was a parody of corrupt televangelists at the time which is really quite funny when you think about it, or at least it is to me. I used to be scared to death of him. Hacksaw might have been the third or fourth biggest face in the company at this time after the Mega Powers and arguably Roberts. Actually, I’d say he was third and even second after February when Savage turned on my first birthday.

Duggan might be the simplest character of all time yet he’s just flat out awesome and so over it’s scary to say the least. More or less he calls out Dino Bravo, saying that he’s not a good Canadian after Love mentions him. He then just yells at Love to scare the heck  out of him which is great because it’s so basic yet so awesome. He looks like this big grizzled mountain man with a stick that he threatens people with as he imposes his will on them. How awesome is that? Duggan chases him off to end this.

Another boxing promo as I guess we’re cross promoting now. Now that I remember it, Leonard was in the front row at Mania 5 and they mention him by name.

Intercontinental Title: Honky Tonk Man vs. Mystery Opponent

This is your famous moment from this show and it’s by far and away the shortest of the matches on the card. Honky was supposed to fight Brutus in a rematch from Mania 4 but he’s hurt so it’s the new #1 contender. Honky still holds the mega record for the IC belt at about 16 months or so. Fink apparently doesn’t know who it is which is stupid as Okerlund knew earlier but Honky didn’t want to know.

Warrior’s music hits and the roof goes off. Warrior beats Honky in about 15 seconds which was just a beatdown. The people are marking out over this and I can’t blame them as Warrior was even more insane back then, making this just freaking sweet to see as Honky was annoying and finally got put into his place. At least he’s not in drag though.

Rating: A+. This is complete and utter perfection for what it was supposed to be. Honky had been the bane of wrestling fans’ existences for about 16 months as he had constantly gotten himself counted out or disqualified to hold onto the title. Warrior just bull rushed him and beat the living tar out of him in like 15 seconds. To say the fans exploded is an understatement. They blew the roof off the place and the moment is absolutely perfect.

Survivor Series 88 is going to be a year after Survivor Series 87. This is three and a half minutes of video from last year’s show. Is there a point to this? I mean we’re getting long clips of it, upwards of 30 straight seconds and a minute a match. They skip the women’s match though as the diva hating started back then. At the end they have Hogan posing, despite him losing that night.

Don Muraco vs. Dino Bravo

Muraco was about done at this point and Bravo was on his way to being about the level that Miz is on at the moment. Yeah, that must have been an intermission. Heenan comes to the broadcast booth before the match to say that the heels in the main event are ready and the faces are terrified. Monsoon throws him out. This is another rematch from the tournament. Heenan comes back.

This match is less about the match and more about Graham and Heenan arguing about who is stronger, despite neither managing either guy. Muraco used to have Graham as his manager and a lot of the criticism comes from an attempt by Bravo at the world bench pressing record at the first Rumble.

He didn’t get it of course but did with Jesse’s help. Yet again, we have a clash of styles but in this one it works a lot better because Muraco can wrestle a technical set well enough to make this work. This only goes about five and a half minutes but they tell a decent little story that ends with Bravo winning with his side suplex.

Rating: B-. This was pretty good I thought. Now it wasn’t a classic, but it was fine for what it was: two power guys hitting each other. It passed the time ok but I wish we had less arguing with the announcers. It was just getting annoying at the end with Graham incessantly whining about how it wasn’t fair.

Holy crap it’s ANOTHER Survivor Series promo. I think WWF is being too subtle here.

Ventura has taken money from DiBiase apparently.

Tag Titles: Demolition vs. Hart Foundation

This is two years before we get what I think is the best PPV tag title match ever. It’s one of the better match on the card so hopefully this is good. The Harts are glorified jobbers here as they’re freshly face and against the monsters known as Demolition. Even though they’re former champions somehow they’re jobbers. That makes limited sense even in wrestling. Jimmy Hart, the former Hart Foundation manager, is a special adviser here.

Axe and Bret start us off here. Billy thinks Bret is the smallest guy out there. Where would we be without his expert wisdom? The Harts speed it up and work on the arm of Smash. Axe kicks Anvil in the back of the head to take over though and the bearded wonder is in trouble. Billy says once they win the tag titles the Harts are going to go outside, grab a girl and do some damage to her. WHAT IS WITH THIS GUY?

Bret gets sent into the post shoulder first and HARD too. That looked very painful and Bret sells it like the master of selling that he is. Neidhart (called Hitman by Billy of course) chases Jimmy to the back as Bret’s arm is destroyed even further. Graham talks about some top rope move Demolition is about to do while Smash just stands there on the apron. Dang I’m getting tired of his idiocy. It’s not even funny.

Hot tag to Anvil after Bret gets a desperation clothesline but of course the referee doesn’t see it. And then he gets the tag like 8 seconds later. I’ve never gotten the point of that. If you’re just going to do it again the next chance you get what’s the point of the false tag? It did add some heat to the second one so maybe that’s it. It would make sense.

Powerslam to Smash gets two. Axe has apparently left to chase an ice cream truck or something as he’s completely gone. Ah there he is to break up a backbreaker from Bret. Fuji is up on the apron but Anvil drills him. The Megaphone from Axe ends this though in a CHEAP ending. That feels like an ending from a house show.

Rating: B-. This was a solid match as you would come to expect from these four. The Harts weren’t very used to being faces at the time as Bret had just turned at Mania. Demolition was so far ahead of them at this point that the Harts got a major rub by hanging with them like this. Solid match, decent length, and so far by miles the best on the card, other than maybe the opening contest.

Honky wants his title back.

Big Boss Man vs. Koko B. Ware

YES!!! This wasn’t on the commercial release and I’ve looked for a copy of it for years. It’s a throwaway match but it not being here has drive me crazy. Slick distracts him to start and Boss Man takes an early advantage. Koko fires back and hits a dropkick to tie Boss Man up in the ropes. Boss Man is a lot fatter here than he would be known as.

A corner splash hits and Boss Man is into squash mode now. That’s all this is yet I couldn’t be happier to find it. That’s not something I expected but you never know what you’ll find when you’re a reviewer. He picks Koko up off a cover and Gorilla yells at him for it as usual. Koko escapes an arm hold but Boss Man hits the move where Koko is on the middle rope and Boss Man jumps on his shoulders. That needs a name. A top rope splash and a cross body miss (for Boss Man) so Koko hits a missile dropkick and splash for two. Boss Man Slam and we’re done.

Rating: D. I waited two years for THIS? It’s just an extended squash as Boss Man was still pretty new back in the day and this was the custom for shows like this. Koko never was anything more than a jobber to the stars so here he jobbed to a new star. Boss Man would be the new challenger to Hogan next.

For the love of god we get it about Survivor Series.

Warrior says he’s proud of his little warriors.

Hercules vs. Jake Roberts

Is it filler? Yep, it certainly is. Honestly, is it that hard to have another big match on the card other than the main event? I know there’s got to be something big out there. Why couldn’t it be Roberts vs. Rude in a big match? That would at least be interesting. Heenan not being at ringside means something apparently, as he’s about to leave Hercules to make Herc a face.

It’s a very basic match here until I get a huge laugh as Hercules puts on a chinlock and can clearly be seen calling spots to Jake. Graham deserves a raise for the save he makes by saying that when he was a wrestler and used a hold like this he would be telling his opponent that he was going down and that there was no way he could win.

That my friends, is an announcer covering for a mistake by a wrestler. It’s plausible at least. It’s complete BS, but it’s plausible. Other than getting a good laugh and a surprise after Graham calls a move a bump, this is a pretty bland match. I can almost call every spot before it happens.

Roberts goes for the DDT, he gets backdropped, he misses a running knee, and we move to the next sequence. That’s just not a good sign at all no matter what. Roberts eventually gets the DDT and that means the end.

Rating: C-. My goodness these matches have been bad. I don’t mean the in ring work is bad as it’s been acceptable, but they’re just there. This would be a great house show, but this is a PPV which I guess at the time was fine since no one knew what they were doing with it. This is another match that’s just there. It’s not great but it’s just barely passable.

Far too long of a recap talking about the build for the main event. Part of this is about Jesse being bought off, mainly due to him supposedly being afraid of Andre.

Mega Powers vs. Mega Bucks

The crowd pops big for the announcement as we finally have something good going here. Jesse’s pop is very solid while not being huge. The heels have no music, which is sad considering DiBiase has some of the best music of all time. The pop for the faces is great and amazingly enough they come out to the same music which isn’t Real American. Hogan, actually letting someone else have top billing? WHAT THE HECK???

Liz of course looks insanely good in the red and yellow dress. The start of this takes forever as I guess the WWF wasn’t too hot on the idea of a crowd being into the match so they had to kill it for a bit. Ventura decides to change the location of the tag ropes. Who in the world freaking cares? Hogan just doesn’t look right with writing on his tights. Savage and Andre start which was a big match we never really got the proper version of.

We saw a few of them but never the true showdown we could have gotten. The match is given some time but it’s still less than 14 minutes. It’s what you’d expect from a main event tag though, as the faces start strong leading to a face comeback before the finish. In this case, the finish is pretty famous as the heels knock the faces to the floor and Liz gets up on the apron. She famously takes off her skirt to reveal her underwear and some very nice legs.

This was insane at the time as Liz was always viewed as a lady and for once she’s being viewed as a sex symbol. Anyway, Andre gets knocked down as DiBiase gets the elbow and gets pinned. The pin is funny as Hogan covers after a leg drop and Savage has to shove Ventura’s arm down for the three as he didn’t want to make the count. Post match we get the celebration with Liz in Hogan’s arms which doesn’t sit well with Savage as we plant the seeds for WM 5.

Rating: B. This was fine for a main event tag match as it was all about the biggest feud and biggest team in the company. It also set a very tiny bit of Mania 5 and advanced the major feuds. The wrestling is just what you would expect which is fine. This was perfectly acceptable.

Overall Rating: D+. I know it’s the first of its kind, but this show just flat out sucked. The main event is good and the tag title match was ok but other than that, this was just horrid. It’s a bunch of random matches which meant nothing and no one really wanted to watch. This was like a house show with a title change and a big main event. While obviously the series would improve, this was a very bad start for it. Watch it for the fact that it’s the inaugural Summerslam, but that’s it.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

 

WWF Wrestling Challenge
Date: February 14, 1988
Location: Wicomico Youth and Civic Center, Salisbury, Maryland
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan

Happy Valentine’s Day and it’s time to talk about the Main Event. The gag order thing is gone now and we can talk about what happened nine days ago. I don’t remember if they did last week or not but they certainly are here. The world title is currently in question and it’s possible we’ll hear about the solution to that problem, which would take place at Wrestlemania IV. Let’s get to it.

Gene immediately screws up two things: he says he’s at ringside when he’s on the platform and says let’s go to our announcers but it’s the opening segment.

We look at a highlight package from The Main Event. By that I mean about seven minutes out of a nine minute match. We also get the post match reveal of the second Dave Hebner.

DiBiase is wearing the title and says he told us all this would happen but no one believed him. He looks like pure evil with that on him.

We also get Hogan’s ranting promo from that night, wanting to know how much money did it cost to pay off Hebner.

Jack Tunney says that neither Hogan nor Andre nor DiBiase is world champion. The title is vacant and there will be a tournament at Wrestlemania IV for the title. The brackets are shown and in a little interesting bit of trivia, they’re different than they would be at the PPV. The pairings are all the same but they’re in a different order. Hogan and Andre receive first round byes.

The show is almost half over already.

Don Muraco vs. Ken Johnson

Muraco is fired up for the tournament. The match is a lot of stalling until Muraco gets his hands on him. A suplex puts Johnson down and drives a knee into his face from the top rope. Tombstone and we’re done.

Jim Duggan is fired up for the tournament. He can’t worry about his second round opponent though.

We get some highlights of Warrior vs. Hercules last week where the chain was broken.

Islanders vs. Lanny Poffo/Eric Cooper

Tama and Poffo get us going with Lanny working on the arm. Cooper comes in and the beating begins. Gorilla talks about wrestling Sammartino for 94 minutes. Ok then. A suplex/cross body combination pins Cooper quick.

Slick says his men are ready for Mania. Reed and OMG seem confident too.

We get the end of Bigelow vs. Joe Mirto. Ok then.

Hogan still wants to know how much Dibiase paid the referee. He isn’t preaching the gospel of Hulkamania because he’s got a bye in the first round. This is one of his out there promos.

Honky Tonk Man plugs the WWF Magazine.

Bad News Brown vs. David Stoudemire

Total squash here so there isn’t much to say. Heenan and Gorilla argue about Hebner and the tournament until the Ghetto Blaster ends this.

Jose Estrada/Dusty Wolfe vs. British Bulldogs

The Bulldogs say Matilda is recovering. Smith and I think Wolfe start us off and there’s the delayed suplex. The powerslam/headbutt combo ends the massacre.

DiBiase and Andre say they’ll win the tournament.

Overall Rating: B. It’s hard to call this one as the majority of the show was a recap of the events on the fifth. That being said, those were some very interesting events and seeing them again is something that sets up the vast majority of Wrestlemania IV, which is a huge deal. Based on that alone, I’ll say this is a good show but your individual taste may vary.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Backlash 2005
Date: May 1, 2005
Location: Verizon Wireless Arena, Manchester, New Hampshire
Attendance: 14,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re back another year later and the main event is Batista vs. HHH II for Batista’s newly won title. Other than that we also have Hogan’s “one more match”, teaming with Shawn against Daivari and Muhammad Hassan. I barely remember anything from this time of the company’s history which usually means I enjoy it more because it’s a nice surprise. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about Hogan with the fans chanting for one more match. The other part is about HHH vs. Batista.

Intercontinental Title: Chris Jericho vs. Shelton Benjamin

Benjamin is defending and is still the hottest thing in the world not named Batista or Cena. He would have my favorite match of all time the next night on Raw. Jericho is here because he has nothing else to do. This was part of a really bad funk for him before he would leave in the fall, which was a really good thing for him. This is face vs. face. JR seems to forget Trish’s involvement in last year’s Backlash, saying Jericho beat Christian.

Jericho takes him down to start and apparently this is about Jericho’s singing or something. Off to an armbar by Shelton and Jericho can’t out quick him. Jericho slaps him and it turns into a fist fight. He chops the champion up against the ropes and they fight over a suplex. Jericho gets sent to the apron but manages to backdrop Shelton to the floor. Shelton lands on his feet and tries a powerbomb but Jericho ranas him down. Cool sequence but if it had been faster it would have been amazing.

Shelton gets sent into the barricade and we head back in. A suplex gets two for the Canadian and we hit the chinlock. Jericho starts playing heel in the match, choking Shelton on the bottom rope. Shelton sends him into the corner and hits a Stinger Splash to the back followed by a suplex. Jericho gets in a shot to the back but a quick Lionsault attempt is broken up. They go to the corner with Benjamin being shoved off. He JUMPS to the top rope and superplexes Jericho down. TAKE THAT ANGLE! The superplex only gets two but DANG that was cool.

The champ hooks a chinlock with a bodyscissors and Jericho is in trouble. Both guys get back up and it’s a double clothesline to put everyone down. Jericho gets up first and puts Shelton in 619 position, but Benjamin pops up and hits a Samoan Drop for two. Jericho hits the running enziguri out of nowhere for two. Shelton comes back with a HUGE springboard bulldog for two. That guy’s jumping is getting better and better.

The Canadian takes the legs out and tries the Walls (BIG pop for that) but changes to a slingshot instead. Benjamin jumps down and hits the T-Bone for two as Jericho’s feet were in the ropes. The Dragon Whip misses and Jericho hooks the Walls in the middle of the ring. Benjamin crawls over to the ropes and the fans aren’t pleased.

Jericho stomps away but Shelton comes back with kind of a falling bicycle kick to the face for two. It was like Trouble in Paradise without the spin. Lionsault is countered but Jericho countered the counter into a Walls attempt but Shelton kicks him over into a rollup. Jericho counters THAT but Shelton counters into a jackknife cradle for the pin to retain. That was a SWEET ending sequence.

Rating: B. This was a very good opener and a great way to see both guys get to show off. Jericho is the right kind of choice for this, but the next night it would be Shawn in there with Shelton and sweet goodness did they tear the house down. Anyway, this was solid stuff and the crowd is nice and woken up now. Good, good stuff.

Jericho has no comment post match.

Edge says Benoit should be worried about their match tonight. Edge stopped Benoit from becoming Mr. Money In The Bank and tonight the people want to see Benoit get his revenge. That’s not happening though, because Edge will be the last man standing, and you can bank on it.

Raw Tag Titles: Tag Team Turmoil

There are five teams in this and it’s a gauntlet. Two teams start, the winners advance, the last team standing wins. We start with The Heartthrobs vs. Regal/Tajiri, the latter of whom are the defending champions. Regal starts with Romeo Roselli with Romeo taking over. Antonio (Thomas) comes in but Regal immediately takes him to the mat. Off to Tajiri who kicks the tar out of Thomas. Tajiri hooks a freaky looking hold which is kind of like a Pedigree Lock if you can call it anything. Antonio suplexes him down for two. They go to the corner and Tajiri comes out with a sunset flip for the pin to advance.

The third team is Maven/Simon Dean. There’s no break in between either. Maven and Dean are fitness enthusiasts so they keep exercising during the matches. Simon and Tajiri start but it’s quickly off to Maven. From the apron Regal fires in a knee to Simon’s back and it’s off to William to clean house. The knee trembler gets the pin on Simon.

La Resistance is fourth and we start on the floor. Back inside for Grenier vs. Tajiri with the Japanese man kicking away with some force. The champions tag in and out pretty quickly so it’s back to Tajiri again. Conway gets Regal into the corner to pound away and everything breaks down. Here’s the Tarantula but Conway breaks it up and guillotines him, giving Grenier the pin with a handful of tights.

Hurricane and Rosey are the last team to face La Resistance. A quick Hurricane cross body gets two on Grenier. Blockbuster gets the same. Sylvan throws him over the corner and Hurricane’s ankle hits the post on the way down. Hurricane gets put in a chinlock followed by a modified belly to back suplex for two. An awful looking middle rope elbow misses and it’s off to Rosey with no one caring. A World’s Strongest Slam gets two on Grenier and everything breaks down. The French dudes hit a double spinebuster on Rosey for two. The good guys do a Snuka/Andre double climbing splash (as in Hurricane fell on Grenier) for the titles.

Rating: D. The problem I have with these matches as well as Cruiserweight Opens is that the matches all end in about four minutes. The longest here was under 4:10, which makes you wonder why other matches last longer than that ever. It’s not like these matches are impressive or anything as they’re really just collections of squashes and quick falls, which aren’t interesting and it’s just the luck of the draw for the most part. Hurricane and Rosey would go on to be some of the most forgotten tag champions ever.

We recap Edge vs. Benoit. This started in the MITB match where Benoit had a bad arm coming in. He almost had the case and therefore the match won, but Edge hit him in the arm with a chair. In theory that’s legal but I guess for some reason it’s evil because Edge did it or something? They had a match on Raw which Benoit won on an almost fluke rollup. Edge destroyed him and his arm even more post match. Bischoff made a last man standing match as a result.

Edge vs. Chris Benoit

Benoit’s arm isn’t taped but he’s a sneaky Canadian so it might be fake. Benoit immediately takes him down and we’re on. Chris pounds on him a bit as the fans chant YOU SCREWED BRET. Geez it even happens in America at this show. We go tot he corner for the chopping as this is all Benoit so far. Edge gets in a shot to take over and the fans want Matt. They would get him in a few months. A spear attempt is countered by a drop toehold and it’s back to even.

Benoit drives in knees to a downed Edge but the taller Canadian comes back with a shot to the head. They go to the floor and Edge finds a garbage can lid, but Benoit baseball slides him down before it can be used. Edge gets backdropped into the crowd and Chris heads out there with him. Back into the ring and Benoit hooks a quick Sharpshooter to make Edge tap but it doesn’t matter here.

With Edge barely back to his feet, Benoit snaps off the Rolling Germans to send Edge to the floor, drawing an eight count. Benoit knocks him right back off the apron again, this time for another eight. Chris tries a suicide dive but gets his head blasted in by a trashcan lid on the way down. That gets a seven so Edge bashes him again, this time getting six. A fan keeps chanting that Edge cheated on his wife, which is true but has little relevance here.

Back into the ring and Edge loads up a superplex onto a trashcan which has Benoit’s legs twitching. Edge is down too but gets up at seven while Benoit is up at eight. Edge hits a running knee to the head and wears him out with a trashcan lid. Naturally it’s time for a ladder, but Edge climbs with his back to Benoit. There’s the German suplex off the ladder and both guys are down. That draws a double eight and Benoit is getting frustrated.

Another release German puts Edge down, this time getting about seven. With Edge still down, Benoit goes up and launches a Swan Dive at Edge but misses, driving his head into the mat. Edge finds the briefcase but Benoit grabs the Crossface before getting hit in the face. Back up and it’s time for MORE Rolling Germans. Edge finally escapes and hits the Edgecution onto the briefcase. Of course, that only gets 9. Edge spears him down for nine. Benoit gets up so Edge spears him down for nine. Benoit gets up so Edge pulls a brick out of the briefcase and blasts Benoit with that for the ten count and the win.

Rating: B. For some reason I see Bobby Heenan smiling at Edge doing that. It’s just such a Brain sounding move. I was digging this, but given what we knew would come about two years later, those shots to the head of Benoit are very hard to watch anymore. Edge was put over here which was the important thing, as he needed wins like these to move up the ladder over the course of the year.

Lita (looking GOOD) is in the back watching and smiles. Kane comes in and asks if she’s ready to help take out Viscera. There’s some kind of a deal where if Viscera loses, Trish has to sleep with him or something. Kane and Lita make out because Kane is a lucky man.

Here’s Lawler to promote the Viva Las Divas magazine. He brings out the girls and this is probably why there are only six matches on the card. We see every chick’s favorite photo to fill in some time. Lawler says he’s going to ask a lot of personal questions but here’s Chris Masters. The girls all leave and Masters says it’s time for a Masterlock Challenge. This time it’s a girl with very short hair, who apparently is indy wrestler Melissa Coates. Masters wins easily.

Trish leaves her locker room and runs into Viscera. Ok apparently if he wins, they have a date. He has some lingerie for her and this is awkward.

Kane vs. Viscera

Kane runs into Viscera and bounces off of him. He kicks Viscera tot he floor and dives onto Visc to take over. The fans still want Matt. Back in and Viscera hits the wheel kick and we get a pelvic thrust. Kane goes after Trish for some reason but gets splashed and caught in a Samoan Drop for two. Sidewalk slam gets the same. Kane gets in a boot to the face and the top rope clothesline looks to set up the chokeslam, but Visc elbows out of it.

A clothesline puts Kane on the floor but Viscera runs into the post. Trish goes after Kane with a chair for some reason but Lita blasts her with a crutch (Lita had a bad knee). Back in Kane goes up but dives into a choke bomb for two. Lita gets in the ring for some reason and Visc tries to kiss her, but Kane comes back with a big boot and a chokslam for the pin.

Rating: D. This was a boring match for the most part and I really don’t get what the idea of this was supposed to be at all. So did Trish want to sleep with Visc or something? Why else would she have gone after Kane like that? Either way it made little sense and the match wasn’t any good either.

Trish yells at Viscera post match and says even if he had won, she wouldn’t have slept with him. She says she’ll get a real man so he picks her up, shakes her, and then splashes her, which I think was supposed to be a face turn. Trish is taken out on a stretcher.

We recap Hogan/Shawn vs. Daivari/Hassan. Hogan went into the HOF the night before Wrestlemania 21, Hogan beat up Hassan and Daivari at Mania 21, they beat up Shawn, Shawn asked Hogan to be his partner for one more match, and here we are.

Hulk Hogan/Shawn Michaels vs. Muhammad Hassan/Daivari

Hogan and Hassan get us going with Hogan drawing a line on the mat. He easily shoves Hassan away and grabs a headlock. There goes the bandana and the evil ones beat on Hogan in the corner. Hulk runs them both over with a clothesline and Hassan gets beaten on now, despite being illegal. Off to Shawn for a double big boot and it’s Michaels in full control again.

Michaels misses an elbow and it’s off to Daivari. Hogan comes back in as this is a total squash so far. Out to the floor and Hogan puts a Hogan hat on Daivari before punching him. Is that some inner self hate manifesting itself perhaps? Back in for some elbow drops and a boot to the eyes. Shawn comes back in and the beating continues. He chops Daivari down, followed by the forearm and nip up.

The top rope elbow hits and Shawn tunes up the band, but Hogan goes after Hassan. While he’s being put out, Hassan hits Shawn in the bac with a pipe of some kind for two. Hassan works on the back and it’s back to Daivari for a hold. Back to the chinlock before the camel clutch goes on. The hold stays on long enough to make it look completely ineffective until Shawn breaks it with an electric chair. Hot tag to Hogan, house is cleaned. His hip is messed up though so he can’t use the legdrop though, so Hassan hits him in the back with the pipe. That draws the Hulk Up and it’s big boot, superkick, pin on Daivari.

Rating: D+. This was just to get the crowd all fired up and on that regard it worked, but other than that there wasn’t much in this at all. It was basically a long and extended squash with Hogan picking up the win to give the people a feel good moment. Also it set up the reason for them to be around each other again in the future, which set up Summerslam.

HHH says Batista got lucky and the Pedigree will take care of Batista.

Here are Christian and Tomko for no apparent reason. He says this may be the last time you see him on a Raw PPV because there’s a Draft coming. Christian wants to express himself so he’s going to rap for us. He makes fun of the main eventers….and that’s about it.

We recap the main event. HHH and Batista were in Evolution together before Batista got hot and won the Rumble. He beat HHH at Mania but HHH says that was just one lucky night. This is the rematch.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Batista

HHH goes right at him and tries a fast Pedigree but Big Dave quickly escapes. The exact same thing happens but with Batista trying the Bomb. A backdrop puts HHH down as we’re still kind of in an opening phase here. Another Pedigree attempt is countered into a backdrop to the floor. Batista follows but gets rammed into the barricade and suplexed on the floor. They head back inside and Batista’s spine is getting worked over. Batista tries a quick Bomb but HHH gets in a shot to break it up.

HHH drives his shoulders into the back of Batista in the corner and sends him to the floor so Flair can get in some shots. Back in and HHH hits a spinebuster for two after a quick slugout. This match isn’t flowing all that well at all. Batista grabs a side slam out of nowhere and clotheslines HHH out to the floor. Back in and Batista starts shaking the ropes. Flair tries to get in which allows HHH to get a belt shot in for two.

They slug it out for a bit and another Pedigree attempt is countered. Batista is all fired up now but he clotheslines the referee down. Pedigree hits but the referee’s head is somewhere over Hoboken. Flair throws him back in but the guy is out cold. Another referee comes out and Batista hits a spinebuster for a close two. Batista hits a bunch of clotheslines in the corner but HHH kicks the referee low.

Batista loads up the Bomb but it draws in Flair. HHH tries the Pedigree for the 8^th time but gets catapulted into the corner. ANOTHER Batista Bomb attempt is counted by a low blow but HHH channels his inner lunkhead and goes into the corner for punches. He deserves the Batista Bomb that he gets as well as the loss that it brings him.

Rating: D. This was really dull as it was about 70% finisher attempts. Power vs. power rarely works and it didn’t work here for the most part. Yes HHH jobbed which is a lot of what made Batista look legit, but the match was horrible. Batista needs someone that he can dominate rather than someone who is going to do nothing but try Pedigrees. This was a really bad main event.

Overall Rating: D. The show was ok, but what in the world changed here? Batista keeps the title, Hogan/Shawn meant nothing at all for months, and Edge beats Benoit in a match that didn’t mean anything. The first half of 2005 was such a weak time but the Draft would bring that Cena guy to Raw which would change everything in wrestling. This was a pretty forgettable show though, but it’s not completely horrible.

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