Thought of the Day: Bad vs. Dull

And I mean that in a good way.I just finished watching Starrcade 1999 and my freaking goodness it was a mess.  There were thirteen matches on a two and a half hour show, meaning that only three matches broke 8 minutes.  There were stupid angles, there were gimmick matches all over the place, and the ending was a Montreal Screwjob.

 

People that say TNA is the same as WCW was in its dying days have no idea what they’re talking about.  TNA still makes (mostly) coherent sense and has some spots of awesome mixed in with all the Hogan and Sting dullness.  Right now, TNA isn’t that interesting, but it’s certainly not horrendous.  There’s a very big difference between the two and it’s something people often forget about.




On This Day: May 26, 1997 – Monday Nitro: Happy Anniversary Scott Hall

Monday Nitro #89
Date: May 26, 1997
Location: Nashville Municipal Auditorium, Nashville, Tennessee
Attendance: 6,484
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone, Larry Zbyzsko

We’re back to the regular two hours again and that might be something good in this case. Also Hogan is here tonight which always helps make the shows feel bigger than they do without him. We’re coming up on the Great American Bash in three weeks and odds are we’ll get the main event announced tonight. Let’s get to it.

Here are Hogan and Bischoff to open the show. Hogan’s beard appears to be infecting his head and is growing at an alarming rate. This is the one year anniversary of Hall jumping the guard rail. Bischoff says he’s checked under the ring and there’s not Sting this week. Hogan talks about partying in the Bahamas with Nick and Brooke, which are names that don’t mean anything at this point. Hogan runs down Sting and Eric says that Sting is just afraid of Hulk. Hogan says he’s going to be looking around and if he finds anyone in Sting makeup, he’s going to take them out.

Hector Garza/Juventud Guerrera/Super Calo vs. Ciclope/Damien/La Parka

This is under Mexican rules, which means if you go to the floor, another member of your team can come in just like a tag. La Parka and Juvy get us going with Juvy taking over with a quick spin kick to the face. Juvy goes up but his cross body is caught and La Parka struts over to the corner and sets Juvy up top. Juvy comes back with a big top rope rana to send Parka to the floor.

Off to Ciclope as Larry complains about the Mexican rules because “we’re not in Mexico.” Sometimes common sense is the best approach. Calo comes in to replace Parka and hits a headscissors to send Parka to the floor. Calo hits a HUGE suicide dive to send both guys into the crowd, giving us Damien vs. Garza. Garza is basically here for one move: a corkscrew plancha to the floor. The idea is that he’s going to hit it but you don’t know when or how many people he’ll take out.

Everything breaks down and it’s almost impossible to tell who is legal as four people came in at the same time when Garza and Damien went to the floor. It appears to be Calo vs. Damien now with Calo in control, only to take his eyes off Damien and get jumped. Off to Garza who speeds things up but gets sent to the floor.

Everyone goes to the floor and it’s time to fire off the dives. Garza hits his big corkscrew plancha, prompting Larry to ask if Garza thinks he’s Captain Planet. Turner property or not, that’s the best Larry can come up with? Damien tries a seated senton back inside but Garza catches him in a powerbomb and hits a standing moonsault for the pin.

Rating: B. This is pretty much the textbook definition for a lucha libre spotfest and there’s nothing wrong with that. Other than Juvy, none of these guys have stood out but they know how to fire off all kinds of flips and dives. While not a great match from a technical standpoint or anything like that, it was fun and the dives were great. That’s what you want to do with an opener too. Good stuff here.

Alex Wright vs. Psychosis

This is Wright’s first match after his heel turn last week. Wright flips around to escape a wristlock but Psychosis does the exact same thing. A jumping kick to the face gives Wright control again and he pounds away in the corner. Psychosis comes back with a moonsault press for two followed by a top rope spin kick to the back of Wright’s head for one. Wright bails to the floor and dances a bit, only for Psychosis to bust out a mostly missed moonsault to take both guys out. Back in and the guillotine legdrop pins Wright.

Rating: D+. This was pretty messy. Also why in the world would you have Wright lose completely clean after a heel turn last week? The announcers are pushing this as a huge upset and to be fair it probably is. The match had almost no flow or story to it at all and the big spots didn’t hit. Not terrible but really messy.

Sonny Onoo still has a surprise for Chono tonight but won’t say who it is. Sonny tries to sign Psychosis as he leaves and Psychosis is interested. As Sonny gloats, Madusa comes out and wants a Women’s Title shot. She says she’ll do anything for it and immediately regrets saying it. Sonny says she’ll get the shot at the Bash but if she loses, her career is over. She agrees and that’s it.

We get a quick look at Ernest Miller and his martial arts background.

Wrath vs. Mark Starr

Total squash with Wrath throwing Starr all over the place, including out to the floor so Mortis can get in some shots. Wrath does look awesome and has a great name, but this feud went on so long that it killed whatever he had going. A top rope clothesline kills Starr and a bicycle kick sets up the double arm Rock Bottom to end the massacre. Apparently that move is called the Death Penalty.

Konnan vs. Villano IV

They’re going really light on the promos tonight. Hugh Morrus talks about how he doesn’t like Konnan anymore, which I think happened at Slamboree. Konnan and Villano shake hands before Konnan hits him in the ribs to start. Konnan pounds him into the corner and fires off a dropkick. He shouts VIVA MEXICO which apparently fires up Villano.

After a brief comeback, Villano shouts VIVA MEXICO as well. Not that it really matters as Konnan hits an Alabama Slam out of the corner to stop the momentum dead. Here’s Morrus but security stops him in the aisle. The 187 (fisherman’s DDT) kills Villano dead and Tequila Sunrise (half crab with armbar) gets the win for Konnan.

Rating: C-. Just a squash here as Konnan was a guy who had a decent place in the midcard. The next step for him of course: put him in the NWO where he got lost in the shuffle. He was a Mexican wrestler who could actually wrestle a style different from the dozen or so other luchadores they had which gave him something to offer. Then it went nowhere because the NWO didn’t have enough lackeys.

Konnan runs down the Dungeon and Sullivan post match.

Masahiro Chono vs. ???

Sonny comes out to introduce the surprise: The Great Muta. Chono is NWO. We get a LONG stall at the beginning of the match, during which Larry announces that the Japanese are in fact a different race. No contact in the first minute. Or in the second minute. Muta puts on a VERY weak headlock. So weak that Chono just ducks out of it and Muta doesn’t move his arms. Sonny freaks out on Muta, Muta sprays mist in his eyes, and Muta joins the NWO. Well no one had joined in a few months so I guess we needed someone else to inflate the ranks.

Hour #2 starts.

Savage talks about his feud with Page. Apparently he wants a rematch at the Bash, which may or may not already be set. The idea is that Savage was embarrassed by a guy in his first main event match at Spring Stampede and it’s driving him crazier than he already is.

Here are Page and Kimberly with a rebuttal. The match is already signed apparently. Page has the crutch that was broken over his back by Hogan. He talks about how he’s under Savage’s skin and how he owes Hogan a Diamond Cutter. Page owes Savage even more though and he’ll get that at the Bash. Kimberly says she’s keeping the pieces of the crutch as a memento. She also has some of the hair that Savage pulled out of her head. Page says you don’t mess with family or his wife, and Savage messed with both. See, this is how you build up a match. I want to see these two fight now.

Barbarian vs. Jim Powers

Powers fires off some basic offense to start but can’t take Barbarian down. A clothesline takes Powers’ head off and Barbarian sends him out to the floor for some more beating. Back in and they chop it out with Barbie taking over. Powers gets in some boots but he doesn’t jump far enough coming off the middle rope so Barbarian can catch him in a powerslam. A big boot ends Powers.

Rating: D. Powers is FINALLY done after this, not appearing on Nitro for over a year after this. Why we needed to have Barbarian get a squash win on Nitro is kind of head scratching but it was something different than they’ve had in the rest of the show. Meng has been doing some singles stuff around this time so maybe that’s why.

Benoit comes out post match and wants Sullivan back soon. Hart says Barbarian is ready for Benoit right now so Benoit takes his jacket off and gets in the ring. Hart says next week.

The Giant vs. Jerry Flynn/Johnny Swinger/Rick Fuller

The jobbers have to tag here so what are you expecting to happen? Swinger starts and can’t do anything. Flynn can’t do anything so it’s off to Fuller who is by far the biggest guy on the team. After Fuller gets beaten up, all three come in with Flynn and Fuller getting belly to back suplexed at the same time. There’s a chokeslam to Swinger, there’s one for Fuller, and there’s one for Flynn. Giant pins all Swinger and Flynn at the same time.

Luger and Giant are in the ring and we hear about an open contract issued by Hogan and Rodman for the PPV Luger talks about being an NBA fan and watching Rodman. At Uncensored, Rodman came into the WCW world and Luger would like to invite them back. Luger issues the challenge for the PPV and Giant says they’re ready. I’m missing something because that match wound up happening at Bash at the Beach. Maybe that’s what they meant or maybe it was changed.

Lee Marshall does his road report jazz.

Here’s Syxx to talk about Flair. He shows us a video from last week of him and the Outsiders beating up Flair before bringing the Outsiders out. Hall and Nash have the newer design of the tag titles which I’ve always liked better. They make fun of Piper and say Piper couldn’t make Hogan sleep unless they showed him Piper’s latest movie. To the shock of everyone, Hall and Nash offer to defend the titles. The opponents aren’t the shock. It’s that they’re actually defending the belts. They want Piper and Flair so they can retire them once and for all.

Jeff Jarrett/Steve McMichael vs. Harlem Heat

Before the match we get a quick recap of Kevin Greene running in last week. Booker and Jeff start things off but it’s off to Mongo before anything happens. Mongo runs him over but Booker won’t tag out. Booker escapes a belly to back suplex but gets punched in the face and clotheslined down. Off to Jarrett as Greene is on commentary now. Stevie comes in and pounds on Jarrett in the corner before slamming him down. We cut to the commentators so we can see that Greene is in fact wearing a football jacket.

Off to Booker vs. Mongo again with the Horsemen taking over. Booker misses a charge into the corner but Stevie blasts Mongo in the back of the head to put him down. Stevie uses the power stuff to take over on McMichael before it’s back to Booker for a chinlock. Harlem Heat double teams to draw in Jarrett which allows for even more double teaming.


Stevie puts on another chinlock so we cut to the announcers again. Mongo comes out of nowhere with a powerslam to Booker and it’s hot (?) tag to Jarrett. Jeff fires off dropkicks to take over and everything breaks down. Mongo realizes Greene is with the announcers and walks off for a brawl. Jeff puts Booker in the Figure Four but Stevie breaks it up and a Hart Attack with Booker hitting a side kick instead of a clothesline gets the pin for the Heat.

Rating: D+. This was long and not interesting. The problem is there’s no reason for these guys to be fighting and the main story of the match was about the football players fighting, which I don’t think anyone was interested in seeing. Just like last week: these matches have almost no meaning because the Outsiders never defend the belts, so these guys are all fighting for nothing.

Jarrett says that might be the last straw.

Here are Hogan and Bischoff to end the show. Hogan says the title is on the line right now if Sting wants to face him for it. Bischoff says unfortunately Sting isn’t here tonight. They turn their backs to the camera and Sting pops up through the mat. And of course it’s the fake one and the announcers are fooled.

The NWO Sting stays on his knees in front of Hogan and nods when asked if he’s half the man Hogan is. He bows down to Hogan and the real Sting repels into the ring. There’s a Death Drop for Bischoff and Hogan falls over the bowing fake Sting. The real one beats up the fake one and here come the troops. Sting flies into the rafters again to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This started off hot but slowed way down afterwards. Having Hogan around helped a lot and you can see that they’re building to Sting vs. Hogan eventually. I don’t think anyone expected it to take another seven months, but it was worth it in theory. As for the rest of the show, it wasn’t bad but as always, the show is better when the bigger names are in play.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $5 at:




Impact Wrestling – May 23, 2013: More Drama Than Shakespeare Could Ever Dream Of

Impact Wrestling
Date: May 23, 2013
Location; USF SunDome, Tampa, Florida|
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

We’re in Hogan’s hometown tonight with another live episode. The main stories tonight are Aces and 8’s patching in AJ Styles and potentially finding out who James Storm’s partner will be in the four way tag. That match is up in the air though as Storm has an abdominal injury and is supposed to be out of action for several weeks. Granted in a tag match he can stand on the apron and do little more. Let’s get to it.

We open with a graphic wishing condolences to those affected by the storm in Oklahoma, as well as a number donate to the Red Cross. In case you’re interested, the number is 90999. Text REDCROSS to that number and a $10 charge will appear on your phone bill.

We recap the events of last week with Sting agreeing to put any future title shots on the line as well as Joseph Park earning a future TV Title shot.

Here’s Hogan to open the show. He immediately plugs his beach shop and says that he was drinking with Shark Boy last night. That’s a random name drop. He also has his TNA family here but a member of the team is going to join Aces and 8’s. If that’s what AJ wants to do then so be it, because Hogan has someone who is always going to be loyal to him, which brings Sting out to the ring.

Sting says he doesn’t want Hogan to change anything about the title match at Slammiversary because he needs to take Bully’s power from him. Sting flubs his lines a bit and eventually says that he wants to take Ray’s pride from him. Hogan again offers to take the stipulation away, but here’s Brooke Hogan because we haven’t seen her in the ring lately.

She talks about driving wedges between everyone and says she was the catalyst for everything going up in smoke. Brook says she has to take responsibility and is so proud of the Knockouts, so she’s going to resign as the head of the Knockouts division. Hulk says no but before we can get a rebuttal, here’s Ray for more talking.

Ray says it’s none of their faults, but rather his own fault for Hulk not knowing how to run the company. It’s Ray’s fault for stabbing the Hogans in the back and turning everything upside down. However, there’s one person in the ring that Ray does blame and that’s Brooke. He loves Brooke very much and will never take his ring off….and that’s it.

Suicide is back next.

Suicide vs. Petey Williams vs. Joey Ryan

Kenny King is on commentary as I believe the winner of this joins Sabin and King in the Ultimate X Title match at Slammiversary. Suicide hooks a quick Black Widow on Petey but gets sent to the floor by Ryan. Joey hooks a quick suplex on Petey but stops to rub oil on his chest. Suicide hooks a sweet hurricanrana off the top to take him down before putting Joey in an Indian Deathlock and an abdominal stretch on Petey at the same time.

Petey gets out and tries the Destroyer, only to have Suicide backdrop out of it and send Joey to the floor as well. A flip dive takes both non masked men down but Joey takes Suicide down back in the ring. A boot to the face from Joey breaks up the Destroyer again but Suicide takes him down with a kick to the head. Suicide picks up Ryan like a tiger suplex but pushes him forward and hits a Codebreaker to the chest for the pin on Ryan at 4:03.

Rating: C. Was anyone begging for Suicide to be back? He wasn’t really anything significant back in the day but now he’s big enough to get video packages about his return? Suicide looked fine out there but at the end of the day, there’s already a story between Sabin and King so why do we need to see Suicide thrown in?

Chris Sabin offers to be Storm’s partner but James thankfully declines. Apparently the X Champion can still cash in the title for a world title shot.

Brooke comes up to Bully in the back so he can say he still loves her.

Velvet and Mickie are in the back and Velvet’s knee is still hurt. Mickie offers to postpone their match but Velvet says no because they’re best friends or some jazz like that.

Bound For Glory Series Qualifying Tournament Semi-Finals: Sam Shaw vs. Alex Silva

The winner of this faces Jay Bradley at Slammiversary for the spot in the Series. Before Silva comes to the ring though, here are Aces and 8’s to say that Shaw has advanced. Wes Brisco says that he’s taken Silva out in the parking lot because he should be in the tournament instead. Shaw gets beaten down by Doc, Brisco and Bischoff, meaning no match of course. Magnus comes out and runs off all three guys, who of course are afriad of one guy they’ve beaten down time after time.

Magnus says that Shaw is his friend from wrestling camp so this is personal. Apparently it’s Magnus vs. Brisco right now.

Wes Brisco vs. Magnus

Magnus hits a quick gutwrench suplex and pounds away, sending Brisco to the floor as we take a break. Back with Brisco ramming Magnus into some buckles and putting on a quick chinlock. A forearm to the back keeps Magnus down and Brisco pounds away in the corner. Magnus fights up again but the Aces and 8’s come in for the DQ at 7:56.

Rating: D. What was the point of that? We hear a lot of talk about how Magnus is the future of TNA and all that jazz, so make sure to have him only win via DQ against Wes Brisco? This didn’t accomplish anything and was a waste of time on top of that. I like Magnus but for the life of me I don’t get how they’re booking him. The Aces and 8’s booking is looking more and more like the NWO every day.

Samoa Joe returns to make the save for Magnus.

There will be another inductee into the Hall of Fame at Slammiversary.

Ray congratulates the bikers on helping Wes out there. AJ will be here later.

We look at Kurt Angle in New York in an attempt to save Olympic wrestling. There was an international exhibition at Grand Central Station.

Kurt Angle vs. Mr. Anderson

Before the bell, we see AJ arriving in the back on a motorcycle. Feeling out process to start with Angle taking Anderson down and kicking him in the head. Anderson is stomped down into the corner before Angle suplexes him down for two. Kurt speeds things up but misses a charge into the corner, slamming his shoulder into the post. Anderson goes after the arm with a hammerlock and a slam out of said hammerlock for two. Off to an armbar but Kurt fights out of it with an armdrag and a middle rope dropkick.

Kurt can’t immediately follow up because of the arm, but he manages to snap off a belly to belly for two. The Angle Slam is countered into a fireman’s carry roll for two by Anderson, but Kurt comes back with the rolling Germans. Anderson pops up with a Mic Check for two, but he takes WAY too long on the top, allowing Angle to run the ropes and belly to belly him down. Before Angle can finish him off though, here’s AJ at ringside. He hugs Tazz, allowing Anderson to hit Angle low for the pin at 8:38.

Rating: C+. As usual these two have good chemistry together, but the story here was about Angle and Styles rather than the match at hand. That’s all fine and good, but my gut says this isn’t as easy as having AJ join the bikers that fast. It all seems too simple, especially for a company that LOVES swerves like TNA. Good match though and Angle vs. AJ will be the same.

Gail Kim says she should be getting the title shot tonight, not Mickie James. Taryn comes in and destroys her.

Video on James Storm being such a great tag team wrestler. We also talk about Storm being put in the four way tag title match at Slammiversary.

Here’s Storm to make his announcement with and Hernandez on commentary. Storm talks about how awesome tag wrestling is but here are Roode and Aries to interrupt. Roode talks about how he carried Storm and then beat him for the world title. Before Storm can announce again, here’s Bad Influence with another interruption. Kaz and Daniels say it doesn’t make a difference who Storm picks so Storm says shut up so he can talk.

Cue Shark Boy of all people to say that he’s here because Storm needs a partner. They both like fishing, drinking beer and kicking some bass. Before Storm can say anything, here’s Robbie E to say he can make Storm a champion at Slammiversary. He even has tag names for them: Beer Bro, America’s Most Bro or Gym Tan Beer Bro. Shark Boy and Robbie argue until Gunner returns and lays out both guys with a Rock Bottom backbreaker to Sharky and a torture rack to Robbie. Storm shakes Gunner’s hand and says he’ll see him at Slammiversary.

Joseph Park is worried about getting a strap at Slammiversary but Sting says it’s ok. With that out of the way, Park talks about Sting beating Bully Ray. Apparently next week it’s Sting/a partner of his choice vs. Team 3D. Sting wants Park to talk to Abyss about being the partner but Park can’t do it for some reason. Sting says justice has to be served and that’s enough to inspire Park to get his brother to help.

We run down the Slammiversary card.

Knockouts Title: Mickie James vs. Velvet Sky

Velvet is defending and has a bad knee coming in. Mickie takes it down to the mat to start and cranks on the arm, only to have Velvet hit a fast dropkick for two. They slug it out until Mickie hits something like a swinging Bubba Bomb before hooking a full nelson as we take a break. Back with Velvet down and being put in a chinlock, only to fight up with an armdrag. Velvet fires off some clotheslines but her knee is giving out again. A headscissors gets the champion nowhere and I think they screw up a sequence setting up a Russian legsweep.

The second attempt works a bit better but Velvet is sent into the corner for a kick to the ribs. Now the headscissors works for Sky but her knee gives out after Mickie is down. A hard chop block takes Velvet down and Mickie has that evil look on her face for the first time in way too long. The MickieDT is enough for the pin and the title at 8:47.

Rating: D+. Mickie and Velvet both looked GREAT out there in their outfits, but the match was so sloppy that it was dragging things down. Velvet continues to look just a step above lost in the ring and Mickie can only do so much with her. Mickie seemingly turning heel here is a good thing though as she can play the psycho villain very well. The match wasn’t much though.

Video on AJ Styles turning his back on TNA.

Aces and 8’s drink a toast to Mr. Anderson and AJ Styles.

Here are the bikers to patch in AJ. Ray talks about D’Lo dropping the ball but praises Anderson for stepping up. This brings out AJ so Ray can suck up to him a bit. They give AJ his first beer and amazingly enough Styles drinks it down. Didn’t he drink with Storm before? Cue Angle to whine about AJ selling out but Styles puts on his cut. Angle charges in like an idiot and gets beaten down as Ray hands AJ a hammer. Styles hits Angle in the knee with said hammer, only to hit the rest of the bikers with it as well. AJ bails to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Not the worst show in the world but there wasn’t much in the way in in ring action. A lot off the segments, mainly the tag team stuff, went on WAY too long. The ending was what it was but it’s going to be part of a much longer story of course, as it always is in TNA. This was better than last week’s show but that’s not saying much.

Results

Suicide b. Joey Ryan and Petey Williams – Gutbuster to Ryan

Magnus b. Wes Brisco via DQ when Aces and 8’s interfered

Mr. Anderson b. Kurt Angle – Low Blow

Mickie James b. Velvet Sky – MickieDT

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $5 at:

 




Monday Nitro – December 29, 1997: The 1998 Preview

Monday Nitro #120
Date: December 29, 1997
Location: Baltimore Arena, Baltimore, Maryland
Attendance: 12,196
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, Larry Zbyszko, Mike Tenay

We’re into a new era in WCW now as Starrcade 1997 is finally over. We round out the year with this show, where the story is who is actually the WCW World Champion. Sting did win the title, after being pinned by Hogan by way of a “fast” count. The problem is the count wasn’t exceptionally fast, therefore making it look like Hogan won clean. Tonight is allegedly a huge night for WCW but I wonder how they manage to screw it up. Let’s get to it.

We open with stills from last night of Sting winning the title.

Purple and yellow balloons are dropped because WCW is awesome!

The Nitro Girls dance to start.

Larry Zbyszko gets a bit entrance for saving Nitro for WCW. Tony suggests that NWO fans watch Cartoon Network once their moms go to bed. Larry says now he wants Hall.

Glacier vs. Goldberg

Glacier jumps Goldie to start so Goldberg punches him square in the head. A release slam puts Glacier down again and it’s spear/Jackhammer to end it.

Gene brings out Bret Hart for a chat. During his entrance, the announcers think that they jumped the gun about Bret joining the NWO. Bret talks about actions speaking louder than words and how yesterday was about justice. As for the NWO, Bret agrees with a fan by saying they suck. The NWO is a bunch of scum and they remind him of the scum he just left. Could it be because most of them used to work there?

Bret is glad to see the rise of WCW because he looks forward to matches with Luger, Sting and Giant. He runs down some of the prominent members of the NWO, saying that Hogan is going to pay the biggest price. There won’t be any running away like there was a few years back, because it’s time for them to fight.

As the announcers talk about Bret’s promo, Raven gets a mic and says that he and the Flock will give Benoit pain if that’s what he wants.

Chris Benoit vs. Van Hammer

Benoit goes right after the Flock, but amazingly enough he gets beaten down by six guys at once. Van Hammer pulls him into the ring and pounds on him before nearly botching a superplex. Benoit avoids a charge into the corner and throws on the Crossface, drawing in the Flock for a DQ. This was nothing.

Post match Benoit gets beaten down until Mongo makes the save.

Here’s Flair with something to say. He congratulates DDP on his victory and bringing the US Title back to WCW. As for Hennig, Flair still has unfinished business with him so watch out. This brings Flair to Sting, who brought it back where it belongs. Flair congratulates Bret for making the save last night because Bret is in the big leagues now. Bret may be a big time columnist and referee, but Flair has a column from the Baltimore Sun. Flair reads comments from the paper, which basically say Flair is the best ever. The author of these comments: Dave Meltzer of the Wrestling Observer, both mentioned by Flair.

Cruiserweight Title: Ultimo Dragon vs. Eddie Guerrero

Eddie is defending and jumps Dragon from behind in the aisle. A very quick powerbomb puts Dragon down and a suplex does the same before Eddie puts him on top. Dragon fights back but has his super rana countered. A tornado DDT puts Dragon down but he counters a suplex into the Dragon Sleeper for the tap out and the title in less than 90 seconds. So Eddie dominates the division for months before tapping out in a minute and twenty six seconds? Really?

Post match Eddie beats up Dragon and throws him to the floor.

Here’s the NWO for the first time tonight. It’s Hogan and Bischoff with Hogan already posing on the stage. Bischoff says that Hogan is still champion so treat him as such. Hogan says made wrestling today and IS wrestling, so let’s get some facts straight. He talks about how JJ Dillon said Nick Patrick was the only referee for the main event last night and we get a video showing Dillon saying just that. Hogan also remembers Patrick counting the pin and calling for the bell, so here are some stills of the bell not ringing.

Now we get slow motion video of Bret beating up Nick Patrick and Hogan bragging about winning the match clean in the middle of the ring. To a degree, that’s rather true which is one of the many problems with last night. He and Bischoff are open for suggestions as to how to fix the problem, and it better be soon.

Heenan comes back to the broadcasting booth, saying that he was being brave last week rather than joining the NWO. That’s very Heenan of him. Bobby ranting and raving about how he’s the only one that loves WCW is funny stuff.

US Title: Mortis vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Page is in light jeans here for some reason and starts with a headlock and neckbreaker for no cover. Vanderberg gets on the apron, allowing Mortis to hit Page low to take over. A wheelbarrow mat slam gets two on the champion and Mortis pounds away in the corner. He does Page’s spinning finger point and drives Page face first into the mat for two. A spinwheel kick gets two on Page but he breaks up the Flatliner and lays Mortis out with the Diamond Cutter to retain.

Rating: D+. Oh come on like Page was going to lose the title the night after he won it. Mortis is a good choice for a spot like this as he has a solid look and an incredibly solid moveset, but once he became Chris Kanyon he was just another guy and that’s where his career pretty much hit its ceiling.

Here’s JJ Dillon who says that Sting officially is the world champion, and apparently he’s going to defend the title against any member of the NWO tonight. Gee I wonder which member is going to take him up on that.

TV Title: Booker T vs. Disco Inferno

Disco is defending. He dances to start and is booed, so Booker raises the roof to a good reaction. A hard clothesline puts Inferno down as the fans are almost silent. Disco misses an elbow so Booker breakdances a bit before taking it to the floor. The champ is whipped into the barricade but catches Booker with a Chartbuster (Stunner) onto the top rope as they come back in. Both guys fall back over the top and out to the floor. This time it’s Booker being sent into the barricade as the crowd stays silent.

Disco breaks up the count before bringing Booker back in, only to be caught in a sunset flip for two. Off to a chinlock by the champion as we’ve had a grueling three minutes of action so far. Back up and a neckbreaker puts Booker down as the announcers talk non stop about Sting’s challenge. Disco gets caught by a spinwheel kick and a backbreaker to set up the Harlem Hangover for the pin and the title.

Rating: D. Not only did the match bore everyone to sleep but the announcers literally talked about the match for two seconds. Booker T’s singles career gets started here and would wind up having a TON of titles in addition to ten tag titles. The match mostly sucked though as there was no chemistry here at all.

JJ is back out and says no one has accepted the challenge. Bischoff comes out and says Hogan accepts the challenge. This is yet another big SCREW YOU to the PPV fans, as they get nothing exclusive because the main event of the biggest show of the year is being given away for free 24 hours later.

Curt Hennig vs. Chris Jericho

Here’s a match that could have been awesome if their careers hadn’t overlapped like they did. The cleanshaven look still doesn’t look right on Rude. Hennig looks mad tonight and it’s time to talk about Hogan vs. Sting. Tony claims that the fans going for popcorn are off to call their friends and tell them about what’s happening. If the friends are wrestling fans, wouldn’t they likely be watching the show? Jericho sends Hennig to the floor and Curt has a conference with Rude.

Back in and Hennig pounds away on Jericho in the corner with punches and chops before putting on a chinlock. Tony actually complains about Bischoff whining too much. TONY SCHIAVONE is annoyed that someone is whining too much. Jericho fights up and slams him down but botches the Lionsault by not flipping at all and landing back first on Hennig’s knees. The PerfectPlex ends this a second later.

Rating: D. This was barely a match at all as a long portion of it was spent with Jericho in the chinlock. The commentary here is really annoying though as they don’t even react to stuff like the botch because they’re too busy being smug about keeping Nitro last night. This was a lot weaker of a match than I was expecting.

Post match Jericho goes nuts, banging a chair against a post while shouting about how he’s sick of this.

Here’s Scott Hall with something to say. The announcers spend the entire entrance talking about how the NWO sucks and cracks themselves up in the process. Hall says that being here in Baltimore for the holidays is just too sweet. The NWO wins the survey and that’s it. Seriously that’s the whole promo. Were they running four minutes short or something?

Buff Bagwell vs. Lex Luger

Another match that you were supposed to have to pay to see last night, but here it is for everyone anyway. To be fair though, this is their FOURTH match against each other on Nitro and their sixth this month counting a Saturday Night match and the PPV match. Tony and Mike go on a rant against Bagwell for bragging about a winning streak against Luger but all the matches being DQ’s or countouts. I guess we’re ignoring the pin from last night because it might make the NWO look good.

Norton pulls Luger’s leg as a distraction to start, causing Luger to chase him around. Buff jumps him as he comes back in and the Bagwell control begins. He jumps up and down on Lex’s back before getting two off a neckbreaker. The Blockbuster misses and Luger hits his clotheslines followed by a powerslam. Norton gets knocked off the apron and the Rack ends this quick. Nothing to see here, but well done WCW by having Bagwell lose in three minutes the night after the win that was supposed to elevate him.

WCW World Title: Sting vs. Hollywood Hogan

Hogan really does look weird without his belt. Sting power walks to the ring and just like last night, is beaten down by a few Hogan punches. Hollywood hits him with the belt over and over. Sting gets choked on the mat as it’s completely one sided so far. They head to the floor with Sting still stumbling around. We’re a minute in and the world champion has had no offense. A slam puts Sting down on the floor before heading back inside. This is the most offense Hogan has been on in years. Sting Hulks Up and gets in his first offense after a minute and forty seconds.

Sting pounds away in the corner and sends Hogan out to the floor. Hollywood is whipped into the barricade and we head back inside without the missing splash against the steel. An atomic drop puts Hogan down but Hogan comes back with some chops and a clothesline in the corner. Hogan pounds away at the head and gets two off the big boot. Back up and they collide with Hogan going down, allowing Sting to do the falling low blow spot. Hogan gets up again and slams him down, only to miss the leg drop. Sting stomps on his hands and hits the Splash….but we’re out of time and the show ends.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t much as we only got about five minutes. However, Sting looked FAR better here than he did last night, which is exactly what he should have done at Starrcade. The problem here though was Hogan continued to look like he was wrestling any schnook off the street instead of the great hope for WCW. The ending sucks too but we’ll get to that in a bit.

Overall Rating: C+. This wasn’t that bad, but it’s a sign of terrible things to come. That ending basically signaled the end of Sting meaning much in this war against the NWO, but we’ll get to that at a later date. As for the rest of the show, it wasn’t have bad with everything going very quickly and a lot of stuff happening, including two title changes. You can see a lot of 1998 coming up here and it doesn’t look all that bad. We’ll get to the horrors soon enough though.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $5 at:




I Want To Talk A Little Bit About Identifying With The Audience (Why I Don’t Like Lesnar vs. HHH)

Anyone that has been following my stuff lately knows that I’m not a fan of where WWE is going right now, with the majority of my problems being with Brock and HHH. While I’ve kind of explained why it doesn’t work, it’s not something that can be properly explained in a paragraph or two. I’ve been wanting to do a piece on something like this for awhile now so this fits perfectly. Today we’re going to be talking about audiences identifying with characters and how badly things things can go when that totally misses the mark. Let’s get to it.

 

Before I get into this, a disclaimer: there are MANY more ways for a wrestler to get over with a crowd than the ones I’m going to be talking about here. This is NOT saying that a character is a failure if his character doesn’t completely click, as it’s almost impossible to do that for everyone. Therefore, spare me the “I don’t identify with Cena so his character sucks” jazz, because you’re both missing the point and a lunkhead for saying it, not to mention wasting my time.

 

Since professional wrestling got started, the idea has been to find a way to get people to pay their money to buy a ticket to your shows. This was accomplished by taking two guys, coming up with a reason for them to not like each other, and have a wrestling match for the two guys to fight it out. That’s wrestling booking in a very small nutshell, but for some reason that’s been lost over the years (there’s a LOT to be said about that but we’ll come back to it at a later date).

 

Anyway, the idea is you establish characters with a conflict between them and have them settle said conflict in a match. A lot of these conflicts can be very basic, ranging from “you’ve got a title and I want it” to “I lost that match because of you” to “you had to cheat to beat me so now we’re going to fight in a cage where no one can help you”. There are dozens of ways to tell a story, but the good stories are the ones that involve both people and can only involve those people. We’ll come back to that idea later on.

 

There are limitless amounts of characters that you can have in wrestling. Off the top of my head there has been a zombie, a patriot, a viking, desperadoes, a billionaire, a guy that likes birds, a guy that likes snakes, a plumber, a wisecracking jock, a hippie, a lumberjack and a guy from the future. A lot of those are really basic one idea characters, but some of them are well developed ideas who can adapt to any story. The more in depth the character is, the better that character is, as they can be used for more complicated stories while also being able to be placed into whatever story you like. Let’s look at some examples.

 

We’ll start with the biggest character of all time: Hulk Hogan. When you really think about it, Hulk Hogan in the red and yellow is a really simple character. He’s the quintessential good guy who does the right thing (other than cheating in matches), loves kids, and is an AMERICAN. Think back to the 80s and think about how many times Hulk fought some foreigner and then waved the American flag after winning a match. It was a very basic idea but it always got people excited.

 

Why did it get people excited? Very simple: people love their country. Seriously that’s all there is to it. Americans, and people of almost any other nationality, have a love for their country and like to see it be on top. Why do you think so many fans like professional or college team sports? It’s because that’s THEIR town or THEIR school. It’s a sense of self pride that almost all Americans share.

 

Another and probably better example of this kind of character is Jim Duggan. For those of you unfamiliar (how is that possible?), Duggan was an American patriot who wasn’t all that bright, but he carried the American flag in one hand and a big old board in the other. He said all he needed was the Old Glory and these two fists and he’d never stop fighting. Duggan rarely won big matches, but that loveable oaf stayed around forever because it’s almost impossible to now look at a guy carrying the red white and blue and not smile just a little bit.

 

Now let’s take it one step further and look at a more in depth character who was based around American values and the idea of appealing to the masses: the American Dream Dusty Rhodes. Rhodes was the common man, the son of a plumber, the American Dream. He would say “I have wined and dined with kings and queens, and I’ve slept in alleys eating pork and beans.” The idea was he wasn’t some rich guy who was paid millions of dollars and still loved America. He was like YOU and could relate to what you were going through.

 

This kind of common man character was the perfect opponent for the reigning NWA World Champion, the Nature Boy Ric Flair. Flair often bragged about having whatever woman he wanted, hung out with professional athletes, rode in limousines, flew in private jets, and wore clothes that most people would only stare at through high priced store windows before walking down to Wal-Mart to buy the things they could afford. Flair at one point said that his shoes were worth more than Dusty’s house.

 

One day on television, the yet to be named Four Horsemen broke into a steel cage and beat Dusty down, breaking his ankle. A few months later, Dusty returned and talked about how Ric Flair put hard times on Dusty Rhodes and his family. Flair didn’t know what hard times were, but the American people knew what it was. Hard times are when the textile workers are out of work, or when someone has been working thirty years at a job and is given a watch and told a computer is going to do your job. Dusty didn’t look like the modern day athlete, but he loved the people and reached out his hand to them, promising to take the world title.

 

This promo, called Hard Times, is widely considered the greatest promo of all time because the people could and did identify with it. People got what Dusty was talking about and as they listened, they could see what he was talking about in their own lives. The fans identified with Dusty Rhodes and what he was talking about, making Dusty Rhodes THEIR hero. As luck would have it, this hero would be facing a man who was everything the common man wasn’t at a major wrestling event, and YOU could watch it if you paid your money right now.

 

That’s the idea that I’ve been talking about. You had two guys with developed characters which could be put together against each other with the fans identifying with one as the good guy and the other as the bad guy. The feud was a massive success and is one of the best of all times, possibly even the best that WCW ever produced. To this day it’s still one of the best ever because it was so basically yet effectively done.

 

Going with the same idea, another of the biggest feuds of all time was the feud that fueled the Attitude Era: Steve Austin vs. Vince McMahon. Look at the basics of this feud. You have Steve Austin, a beer drinking brawler from Texas, facing off with a billionaire from Connecticut who was borderline psychotic and willing to allow a demon who worshipped him to burn a cross like symbol on his lawn and have his daughter sacrificed in a Satanic wedding, all to get the WWF Title off of Steve Austin using his army of hand picked Corporate Champions.

 

Now, how in the world can fans relate to something like that? One idea: how many people have ever wanted to beat up their boss? How many people had ever had a boss who said that you weren’t doing things the way he wanted them to or you were punished by some stupid rule? It was YOU who was out there working hard all day and keeping your company running, but your boss is the one making millions of dollars off the hard work you’re putting in. How would you have liked to crack them over the head with a chair, give them a Stunner and have a cold beer?

 

On top of that, there was something Austin did that Hogan or Sammartino (quick aside: Sammartino was an even more basic ethnic champion than Hogan was. New York City had a lot of Italians and that was all Sammartino was: a strong Italian. That was enough to hold the world title over eleven years and sell out Madison Square Garden about two hundred times. It really is that easy.) or anyone else did: he didn’t always overcome the odds. Think about it.

 

Austin was a six time WWF Champion. Here’s how he lost the belt each time: first blood match against a guy in a mask, loss in a glorified handicap match to Undertaker and Kane, lost to Undertaker in a match where Vince and Shane McMahon were both guest referees, triple threat match, lost to an American hero in said hero’s hometown four days after September 11, 2001 and finally to Chris Jericho after already facing Kurt Angle and having Angle interfere in the Jericho match.

 

In short, Austin wasn’t the kind of guy who always overcame impossible odds. When he was against something that no one could overcome, he lost, only to get the title back a few weeks or months later. The key to that is Austin wasn’t Superman, but rather a man like any other. He had limits and weaknesses which could cause him to lose for awhile, but he could always fight another day. That’s something that people have to do all the time, and again it allows people to identify with Austin.

 

I could go on for pages and pages about various other great characters and how fans can identify with them, but you get the point. Now let’s take a look at the other end of the spectrum and how characters can be very basic characters with either no room to grow or no real target audience whatsoever.

 

Looking back at the early to mid-90s, a very bad time for the WWF, we see guys like Friar Ferguson (wrestling friar), T. L. Hopper (wrestling plumber), Rad Radford (grunge musician), Duke Droese (wrestling garbageman), Damien Demento (weird guy) and the Goon (wrestling hockey player). All of these guys have one thing in common (well one major thing in common): There’s nothing to them.

 

Think about it. What is there about any of those guys that makes them good or bad? What is good or evil about a plumber? What kind of storylines can a plumber get into? Why would I cheer or boo a plumber? There’s no thought or depth to this character and he has nowhere to go with anything. It’s a one note character and due to how weak he is, Hopper didn’t last long at all. That could be said with any of these guys, talent levels aside.

 

Now let’s get to the meat of what I want to talk about with the characters not fitting. There are two primary modern examples of this, one of which is HHH/Lesnar which we’ll get to in a bit. First of all though, let’s jump back to the year 2011 when Dolph Ziggler held the United States Title. At this same point, Zack Ryder was becoming very popular due to his online show, Z! True Long Island Story.

 

On the show, Ryder began to fall for WWE Diva Eve Torres, while at the same time starting a petition to get himself a US Title shot. The fans got behind Ryder, even to the point of cheering for him while the Rock was standing in the middle of Madison Square Garden after Survivor Series had went off the air. People wanted Zack Ryder and he was all of a sudden the hottest guy in wrestling.

 

A month later, Ryder got his US Title shot at TLC and won the championship to blow the roof off the building. The fans had gotten what they wanted and their hero had delivered what he promised them he would do if just given the chance. Around the same time, Eve started noticing Zack, meaning that Ryder was getting the cherry on top of the US Title. Life was perfect for Ryder, at least for now.

 

Soon after this, Kane started targeting Ryder’s friend John Cena. Cena came back at Kane, so Kane went after Ryder and Eve. One night Kane destroyed Ryder and went after Eve, only to have Cena make the save. Eve, in gratitude, kissed Cena as Ryder watched from the side, disgusted with his friend for betraying him like he had. Soon after this, Ryder lost the US Title and Cena didn’t really seem to care. A month or two later, Eve turned on Ryder, costing him his match at Wrestlemania. Ryder has been right back where he was before his web show ever since.

 

Now let’s break this scenario down. At this point, WWE’s target audience was younger people, ranging from children to teenagers. The two main guys in this story are Zack Ryder and John Cena. Look at those two. Ryder is a glorified geek who was in WAY over his head but got his one shot at glory and won the big one. At the same time, he was head over heels for a woman way out of his league and seemingly got her too. On the other hand you have John Cena. Cena was a mainstream celebrity, looked like he was carved out of stone, handsome, one of the biggest stars ever, and the epitome of the top dog.

 

Who do you think most people are going to relate to? Back in middle school or high school, how many people saw some guy or girl that they were completely taken by? They would saw off their own leg for a smile from the other person, but the person they wanted had no idea they were alive. The guy or girl you wanted was off with either a gorgeous cheerleader or a starting running back and wouldn’t know your name if their life depended on it. How many of you were like that when you were say, fifteen?

 

At the end of the day, the vast majority of people are like Ryder: awkward, not popular, a face in the crowd and have no chance to get the one that they want. Yet in this story, it’s Cena who is the hero. Cena, the star football player or head cheerleader, is the one that gets the gorgeous girl and gets to slay the giant, rather than Ryder who looks like the loser he’s always been made out to be. In this story, the dream that the common man has was crushed and given to the one who has it all, and we’re supposed to cheer him for it. I’m sure there are people out there who can more than identify with Cena, but they’re in the minority.

 

To better illustrate how backwards this was, let’s take a look at my all time favorite moment: Mankind wins his first WWF Championship. It’s the same basic idea: Mankind is the outcast who had few friends and was labeled a freak, while Rock was the star athlete who has been bred for success from the day he was born. Again, how many people were basically outcasts in high school and how many people were the top athlete that wound up playing pro football?

 

On January 4, 1999, Mankind won the title and Michael Cole sums up the entire feud perfectly: “Mick Foley has achieved his dream and the dream of everyone else who has been told you can’t do it.” That’s the entire story in a nutshell: this was the moment for fans who hadn’t even been the best and on top of the world. They could identify with wanting Foley to achieve his dream and on that night, that’s exactly what they got.

 

Now for the difference between Ryder and Foley (oddly enough both from Long Island and they both beat guys from south Florida to win their titles): while Foley lost his title less than a month later, Foley never was treated like an underling again. From that moment on, he was a bonafide main event star and had risen up the card after winning a major match. Ryder never ascended at all and was back where he started from a few months later. The fans had put their faith in Foley and he had carried them to a higher level.

 

This FINALLY brings me back to the HHH vs. Lesnar story. There are two major problems with it, aside from the matches being nowhere near good enough to warrant this kind of a feud. First and foremost, who is this supposed to appeal to? I know HHH was pretty popular, but there isn’t much of a fanbase that fits into the “13 time world champion who married into the family that owns the company by marrying the boss’ gorgeous daughter which has put me in position to run a billion dollar company for the next thirty years while getting to beat up former UFC Heavyweight Champions” category.

 

That’s my big problem with this. The only person that seems to gain anything from this feud is HHH. This also ties into my second problem: it’s a HHH feud. This story has nothing at all to do with Brock Lesnar, who is a once in a generation talent. Think back with me to Extreme Rules 2012 and Lesnar’s match with John Cena.

 

Coming into the match, Cena had just gotten done facing The Rock at Wrestlemania 28 in one of the biggest matches of all time. Cena had dominated the company to the point that WWE had to bring the Rock back to give Cena a legitimate challenge. Once that was gone, they had to bring in the former UFC Heavyweight Champion of the World to make Cena break a sweat. Lesnar MAULED Cena on Raw and at the PPV, taking Cena down with ease and laughing about it at the time.

 

Look back at that match. The fans start cheering for Cena because they know he’s in the fight of his life. It isn’t because they love Cena per se. It’s because they want to see the underdog somehow pull off the miracle and beat someone he’s in WAY over his head against. Compare this to HHH, who has basically only lost to Lesnar because he’s gotten caught in a hold or Lesnar’s manager has cheated, not because Lesnar is a force that can’t be stopped. It’s hard to buy that John Cena gets run over by Lesnar like a train but HHH can stand and fight Brock toe to toe.

 

Finally, as I said HHH vs. Lesnar is a HHH story and there’s not a huge fanbase that can get into that. Think back to the night that Lesnar destroyed HHH’s office. None of that stuff was personal to HHH. It was furniture and electronics that was paid for by the company. It shows how he isn’t a common man but rather a corporate guy who can fight. For a company that is supposed to be targeting kids, it’s kind of hard to accept them getting upset over a bunch of furniture being destroyed.

 

On top of THAT, Brock Lesnar is just a warm body in this feud. Think about it like this: you could put ANY monster heel in this feud and it would be the same story. You could have Big Show, Mark Henry, a heel Sheamus, or any other big strong guy you wanted to have in Brock’s role and the story would be the same, because the story is about HHH. When Lesnar fought Cena, ONLY Brock Lesnar could fit in that role because ONLY Brock Lesnar was a force that Cena had never faced before. In short, both characters have to fit the story. Dusty Rhodes’ common man character doesn’t work without a rich man in Flair to play against.

 

To wrap things up, that’s why I don’t like HHH vs. Lesnar: it’s a Triple H story instead of a Brock story, and it’s really hard to get behind a HHH story as there isn’t a huge fanbase that can identify with him. That would be fine if their matches were blowing the doors off the place, but they’re simply not doing that. They’re good, but not nearly good enough to warrant a year long feud.

 

In general, that lack of depth can be made up for by having the audience identify with one or both of the characters, such as in all the examples I gave you. Almost no one is going to be rich like Vince, but a lot of people can identify with having a boss they want to beat up. Identifying with the audience is one of the hardest things to do in wrestling, but if you can pull it off you have (in theory) the hardest part done and the booking can take care of the rest.




This Is Amazing

I want to have its children.




On This Day: May 11, 1985 – Saturday Night’s Main Event #1: Dig That Wrestlemania Fallout

Saturday Night’s Main Event 1
Date: May 11, 1985
Location: Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum, Long Island, New York
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jesse Ventura

So I figured this was a good one to get around to. This is the fallout show from Mania but there isn’t a ton of fallout. No one really knew what this was going to be like but it was an experiment worth trying at least. It was the first chance a lot of people would have to see these guys on television as it was shown on NBC in prime time which was unheard of back then. Either way, this should be fun so let’s get to it.

As usual we open with the main faces for the night talking. Wendi Richter and Cyndi Lauper are talking about the match with Moolah tonight and Hogan and Mr. T. say they’re ready for Bob Orton tonight. As always, the music rocks. Jesse is in pink. He can get away with it though.

Iron Sheik/Nikolai Volkoff/George Steele vs. Mike Rotunda/Barry Windham/Ricky Steamboat

That’s quite the face tag team. This was on the SNME DVD (great DVD that should certainly be picked up if you can find it. Awesome stuff on it) as an extra. Blassie is with the heels and Albano is with the faces. The two foreigners had taken the tag titles from the US Express at Wrestlemania for a token tag title change.

About a year prior to this, the US Express had been using Real American for their theme music. That went to Hogan of course and here they use Born in the USA by Bruce Springsteen which works like a charm for them as it’s perfect. We start with Windham and Steele which is an odd matchup if there ever has been one.

Sheik was hitting the end of whatever usefulness that he had at this point. Rotundo would soon head to WCW and become a member of the Varsity Club, ending in an awesome moment with Rick Steiner taking the TV Title from him after months of being talked down to by him. Wow what a tangent that was.

Oh and he’s more commonly known as I.R.S. Oddly enough the faces dominate early on. We go to commercial with the faces dominating. We begin the awesome SNME tradition of not having action during commercials so we don’t have to be all confused about how we got to a point during a break.

Wow there are four hall of fame wrestlers in here and two on the floor. That’s rather impressive, especially considering that the two that aren’t in there are two of the three most talented. Steele comes in and his teammates abandon him, allowing Windham to get a quick rollup for the pin. Steele eats a turnbuckle and the tag champions beat him up. That doesn’t last long as Albano comes in to calm him down and Steele is a face.

Rating: C-. Eh this was fine. It wasn’t meant to be anything special other than a way to get Steele out of the dark side, but the heel offense consisted of about four Volkoff punches and other than that it was a complete squash. I don’t get why it was so one sided, but it did its job and wasn’t bad at all so for the first match in show history this was perfectly fine.

The heels blame Steele for the loss and Steele and Albano scare them off.

Piper’s Pit

The guest is Paul Orndorff, who was Piper’s partner in the main event of Wrestlemania. Orton is there as well. Paul more or less says go ahead and try to beat me up to Orton which Piper tries to defuse quickly. Piper has to be high on something. Either that or he’s just completely insane. I’m not sure which it is.

Piper keeps insulting Orndorff and then he would jump up and yell at both guys who run and scream. Piper finally gives up and calls Orndorff a piece of garbage and Paul cleans house. A piledriver is blocked by a cast shot from Orton. Mr. T. makes the save. Ok, we get it: Mr. T. is in a wrestling company. Let it go already.

Hogan says he dedicates the match tonight to his mother. Ok then. He’s also happy about Paul’s recent face turn.

WWF Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Bob Orton

Hogan coming out to Eye of the Tiger is some combination of odd, awesome and epic. You figure out the proportions. Naturally it starts out with Hogan completely dominating Orton. This was also on the DVD but the color and picture quality were WAY better there. It looks bad here to say the least. This is exactly what you would expect it to be: Hogan works the arm and then a shot from Orton gives him control. Our hero is in trouble. WHAT IS HE GOING TO DO???

Well at the moment he’s going to get his teeth kicked in a little more. And of course there’s the comeback and you know the finish. Actually I typed too soon. Hogan drops an elbow and uses a headbutt of all things. Orton takes over again. This is most odd indeed. Hogan fights out of the superplex and comes off the top rope! He goes for the leg but Piper runs in for the DQ. The heels beat up T and set for the double team but Orndorff runs out for the save and the full face turn.

Rating: C. This was just pure average. It was what you expected but the DQ was kind of odd. It’s not like a pin would have been odd here but whatever. This was fine for what it was. Hogan gets on TV and the biggest star got to showcase himself.

After a break we come back to the three of them posing and you can just tell that Vince wants to screw all of them.

Gene is with Cyndi Lauper and Albano. Lauper has a VERY annoying voice. These two started the Rock N Wrestling Connection and launched wrestling into the stratosphere.

They air her new video which has about ever wrestler with a cameo in it other than Piper who shows up to yell about it. That was awesome actually.

Women’s Title: Wendi Richter vs. Fabulous Moolah

Before the match, Moolah says she’s tired of the interference so Lauper is barred tonight. The reading of the announcement that Lauper is gone tonight takes the better part of forever to get through and FINALLY we get to the match. This was match number two that fueled the mega run that wrestling went on.

We’re on the floor nearly immediately. To say Richter was popular at this time was the understatement of all time. She would actually main event house shows if you can believe that. Surprisingly, Moolah is being beaten down for the most part here. Considering she was champion for about 30 years, that’s saying a lot. Yes I know she didn’t really hold it that long but that’s kayfabe for you. Richter gets a quick small package for the pin.

Rating: D+. This is just long enough to grade but there isn’t anything of note here. It’s ok but that’s about it. Women’s wrestling back then was more of a mess than it is now, but the women could work MUCH better than they can today for the most part. Ok not really but these two had a feud going and that was better than nothing. Yeah the match sucked and I’m rambling.

JYD has his mother here for Mother’s Day. Her name is Bertha.

Pete Doherty vs. Junkyard Dog

Take a wild guess who wins here. Grab Them Cakes is a decent song if nothing else. Them Cakes means a woman’s hips in case you were wondering. Oh never mind that’s Another One Bites the Dust. Wow my hearing must be off. And it’s a three minute squash with Doherty being on the floor for a lot of that. JYD and his mom dance afterwards.

Rating: N/A. This was just thrown in for filler as a lot of stuff was around this time.

We come back to see Cyndi Lauper’s Mother’s Day party. It’s just a long line of wrestlers with their “mothers” including Hogan. They all say they love them and then a food fight starts.

Jesse and Vince wrap things up.

Overall Rating: C+. It got the big names on TV other than Andre but he was a very sporadic guy at this point. This was fine for a debut but you could see that it was a lot of rehashing Mania which to be fair was so groundbreaking that they didn’t have a lot of other stuff to go with. Also, that was the hottest thing in the world back then so they were right to go with it I guess.

Not bad but a lot more for entertainment than wrestling which is fine. Great job of showing who everyone is though so that’s a major plus. Check it out because it’s a huge deal as far as starting a big tradition so there we are.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $5 at:




Monday Nitro – December 22, 1997: Run For Your Lives! IT’S NWO NITRO!

Monday Nitro #119
Date: December 22, 1997
Location: Macon Coliseum, Macon, Georgia
Attendance: 7,615
Commentators: Larry Zbyszko, Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan

Amazingly enough, we’re actually at the go home show for Starrcade. This is yet another three hour show which would become the norm soon after this. The wrestling on this episode means nothing at all, due to a certain segment at the end of the first hour which overshadows everything else we would see in the ring on this show. Let’s get to it.

We open with a paid announcement from the NWO. Actually it’s just Bischoff, who talks for several minutes about what he’s going to do to Larry at Starrcade. In short, he’s going to humiliate Zbyszko and take Nitro as a result. Well he certainly did humiliate Larry but not for the reasons Eric is talking about here.

Fit Finlay vs. Eddie Guerrero

Apparently this is the arena where Hall jumped the guard rail over a year and a half ago. The fans are all over Eddie to start as he begs for mercy. Guerrero pops up and kicks at Finlay’s knee to take him down. A slingshot hilo onto the leg has Finlay in big trouble early on. Actually scratch that as Finlay pops back up and pounds on Eddie without so much as a shake of the leg. Finlay drops Eddie throat first on the top rope before hitting a hard kick to the back for no cover.

Eddie is catapulted into the ropes so he can crash down onto Finlay’s knees before the Irishman pounds away with forearms in the corner. A hard clothesline puts Eddie down and Finlay rams Guerrero’s face into the side of the ring a few times. Back in and a hard boot to Eddie’s face puts him down but Eddie goes back to the knee which suddenly hurts again. A dropkick to the knee puts Finlay down again but goes up top, only to be caught and superplexed back down. Finlay loads up the tombstone but Eddie bails to the floor…and walks out for the countout.

Rating: C. Surprising lack of selling from Finlay aside, this wasn’t a bad match at all. The ending makes sense in a way as Eddie has a title defense on Sunday and wouldn’t want to waste his energy before then. Finlay was an interesting character as he would disappear for months on end before returning and getting a pretty big match like this out of nowhere.

Steve McMichael vs. Meng

Please….make it short. This is as a result of the match that didn’t happen last week. Mongo wins an early slugout and hits a corner clothesline. The slugout was so interesting the first time so let’s do it again a few seconds later. Meng tries a charge into the corner but eats a boot. However since he’s a savage and obeying ethnic stereotypes, it has no effect. A powerslam gets two on Mongo and a piledriver gets the same.

Meng goes up top for a splash but picks McMichael up at two. Dude, I watched you for like fifteen years and THIS is what I get in return? Mongo bails to the floor and finds the dreaded wooden chair. As usual it gets destroyed over Meng’s head (not a DQ for no apparent reason) to no effect (also as usual), so Mongo instead tombstones him for the pin.

Rating: D. In a weird way, Mongo is fascinating to watch. He had been around for a year and a half at this point and is somehow getting worse over time. That’s really quite amazing given the talent he’s been in there against. I know Meng isn’t exactly Lou Thesz, but he’s a veteran who can get someone through a basic match. Mongo looked completely lost here though and it’s painful to sit through anymore.

Page talks about being ready for the title match with Hennig, where the champion will feel the bang.

La Parka/Silver King/Psychosis vs. Hector Garza/Rey Mysterio Jr./Juventud Guerrera

The four man version worked so well last week that we get the traditional six man version this week. This is under lucha libre rules again, meaning if you go to the floor it’s the same as a tag. La Parka is in the alternate white attire tonight which really stands out in the ring. Garza and Silver King get us going and they immediately bust out the flips with almost no contact being made at all. Garza hits a spinning wristlock off the top to take King down but it’s off to Juvy for a big springboard missile dropkick.

Psychosis comes in and pounds Guerrera down as the match slows way down. He wants Rey Mysterio but instead we get Raven’s Flock arriving. Juvy speeds things up with a headscissors and an attempted reverse rana, only to land on the back of his head in a scary looking semi-botch. Psychosis misses a charge and hits the post shoulder first, allowing Guerrera to make the hot tag to Rey. Mysterio takes Psychosis out to the floor and sends La Parka into Silver King. La Parka comes back but missses a backsplash as everyone starts going up.

Rey cross bodies Silver King to the floor and La Parka dropkicks Psychosis to the floor for some reason. Juvy uses Garza as a springboard for Air Juvy to take Psychosis out again and there’s a suicide dive by La Parka to take out Juvy and break the chair he was sitting in. Why he was sitting in a chair I’m not sure but it doesn’t matter as Garza hits the corkscrew plancha to take out Psychosis and La Parka. Back in the ring and Rey puts Silver King on top for a reverse rana followed by the yet to be named West Coast Pop for the pin.

Rating: B. It’s hard not to love these things as there’s no need for a story of any kind of psychology to them. They’re quick and exciting with six interchangeable guys going out there and doing all kinds of insane spots. WCW never tried to make these matches anything more than that and it would have been stupid to try. Fun stuff here, as always.

Mysterio seemed to hurt his left knee on the reverse rana and is holding it post match.

Chris Benoit vs. Hammer

Benoit’s run through the Flock continues but there’s no Raven again. Chris asks the rest of the Flock to get in the ring because Hammer is going to need all the help he can get. A quick dropkick to Hammer’s knee takes him down and Benoit chops away in the corner. Hammer is kicked to the floor and Benoit takes him down with a dive through the ropes. Benoit goes over and smacks Saturn in the head, allowing Hammer to take over with some sledges to the back. Hammer knocks him back to the floor but gets whipped into the apron. Benoit gets a chair and here comes the Flock for the DQ.

Rating: D+. This didn’t have time to go anywhere but again this was about storytelling rather than the match. They’ve done a great job at setting up Benoit vs. Raven when it finally would happen, which for some reason wasn’t at Starrcade. Either way, this feud is making Benoit look like a star.

Post match Benoit is put in the Rings of Saturn again.

It’s time for the start of the infamous segment. Rude, Bagwell, Konnan and Vincent take over the announce table and run off the announcers. Bagwell then goes over to the cameramen and make them say they’re NWO and put on the shirts. The rest of the crew is made to put on the shirts too, including the guys in the back. Various WCW signs are taken down as Konnan goes into the production truck and makes everyone put on a shirt.

The big metal WCW letters on either side of the entrance are taken down, as is the WCW sign over the entrance. By the way, there is no resistance to this by any security or WCW wrestlers. To be fair though, I’d be terrified by a guy who can’t wrestle anymore, a career jobber, a low level tag team and Konnan. The commentary booth now has a sign that says NWO Monday Nitro. The fans are rapidly getting restless and it’s easy to see why. We’re at seven minutes of this already and now they’re heading to the ring.

Buff runs off the ring announcer and makes the WCW banners in the rafters NWO banners. We take a break and come back with the letters NWO spray painted on the mat. Rude demands and receives some lame fireworks as the NWO all stops to look at the NWO signs. A fairly big NWO sign is lowered from the ceiling as this has been going on nearly fifteen minutes now.

There’s an actual NWO Monday Nitro intro video and the graphic in the corner says NWO Monday Nitro. Good thing they had those graphics ready and loaded into the truck on a moment’s notice like that.

Here’s Bischoff on his motorcycle to FINALLY do something more than have the fans sit around and watch people do construction work. He brings out the entire NWO as this segment somehow keeps going. Even Nash and Hogan are here this week so you know it’s a big deal. Eric says tonight is Hogan’s night so he’s going to get some Christmas gifts.

First of all, Bischoff dedicates the show to Hogan and literally bows down to him. His first gift: NWO leaflets falling from the ceiling. Now he gets a motorcycle. Then he gets a second motorcycle. Then he gets a LONG open top limousine with built in hot tub and his own set of Nitro Girls. Bischoff promises even MORE gifts for him later because this hasn’t gone on long enough yet.

In total, all this stuff took about half an hour. Literally, it was half an hour of construction work and Hogan receiving gifts. No stories, no action, no matches, nothing. The viewers left in droves for this segment, to the point where Raw actually won the second hour because they were having ANYTHING but this going on.

JJ Dillon tells Rick Steiner he doesn’t have to go out there but Rick wants to.

The NWO sign is actually a big cube sitting in front of the entrance.

Rick Steiner vs. Scott Norton

Bischoff, Nash and Rude have taken over commentary. Rick hits a quick Steiner Line but gets caught by a shoulder block to put him down. They quickly go to the floor with Steiner being rammed into the post and pounded down with CLUBBING, yes CLUBBING I SAY forearms to the back. Back in and they trade clotheslines with Steiner taking over and dropping an elbow. Rick puts him on top for a belly to belly superplex but they TOTALLY screw it up with Rick basically just falling down and Norton landing on top of him. Before they can screw anything else up, Konnan runs in for the DQ.

Rating: D. I’m not sure whose fault that botch was but when a Steiner is having trouble with a suplex, it’s time to throw in the towel on the match. Norton continues to be a guy that WCW protects like no other and I’m still not sure why. I know he’s a bigger deal in Japan, but Jericho beat Chono on Nitro and I’m sure Chono is a bigger deal than Norton. Anyway, terrible match.

Post match Scott Steiner and Ray Traylor run out for the save, setting up a six man on Sunday.

Nash thinks Giant is going to retire and become a Nitro Girl instead of facing him on Sunday.

US Title: Disco Inferno vs. Curt Hennig

Disco is challenging here but he’s TV Champion. Hogan’s limo and motorcycles are still in the aisle. The name graphics are now vertical on the side of the screen instead of horizontal on the bottom like they usually are. Curt runs him over a few times to start before hitting a pair of dropkicks to send Disco out to the floor. Hennig pounds away on the floor before throwing Disco back in to continue the beating. Disco fires off some right hands but charges into a boot in the corner. Hennig knees him in the head and rakes Disco’s eye and toys with him a bit more until the Hennigplex ends the torture.

Rating: D. Was there ANY need for this to be the TV Champion? Brad Armstrong wasn’t available tonight? Disco has been on a roll lately but instead of letting him continue that and make the TV Champion look good, we have to see Hennig pick him apart because Hennig is part of the NWO and therefore awesome.

Heenan comes out to being hour #3 by begging to be allowed back on the commentary booth. He sucks up to Nash and Bischoff and is allowed back in before Bischoff gets a headache.

Harlem Heat vs. Scotty Riggs/Lodi

Heenan is offering to buy Rude dinner to prevent pain and agony. They stand around for a long time to start until it’s Booker vs. Riggs. Mike Tenay joins in on commentary again to give us Bobby, Mike and Rick. Booker easily takes down Riggs and they trade wristlocks. Scotty takes him down with a dropkick to give the Flock its only advantage of the match, but Booker spin kicks him down with ease. Off to Stevie Ray who misses an elbow and it’s off to Lodi for the first time ever.

Ray immediately clotheslines him down as the punishment continues. A backbreaker keeps Lodi down and it’s off to Booker for the ax kick. The Heat hit a double suplex for two before Stevie chokes with his knee. A bicycle kick gets two on Lodi as the Heat are barely breaking a sweat here. Stevie hits what would become known as the AA as Riggs walks out on his partner. The Big Apple Blast (Hart Attack with a side kick from Booker instead of a clothesline) ends this massacre.

Rating: D. Unless you’re a big fan of Harlem Heat, there’s no need to see this match. It felt like they were intentionally filling in time with nothing special at all. Harlem Heat didn’t even have a match on the upcoming PPV yet they get a ten minute segment here to destroy a pair of jobbers? That doesn’t do much for me.

Buff Bagwell vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho immediately backdrops Bagwell to the apron and hits the springboard dropkick to knock Bagwell to the outside. A kick to the head has Buff in trouble but he manages to take down Jericho as the Canadian comes back in. Jericho is knocked to the floor and we take an early break. Back with Bagwell taking over after a brief slugout so he can choke away a bit more. Jericho charges into a boot in the corner and it’s time for the chinlock.

The announcers of course suck up to Bagwell because we have to make sure that every NWO guy on the team looks as amazing as they can. Jericho fights up and dropkicks Bagwell a few times before getting a near fall off a powerslam. Bagwell pounds him down again and goes up top, only to miss an elbow. Jericho tries a rana (I think) but they just collide and Jericho comes straight down instead of doing anything to Bagwell. After a double underhook backbreaker, Jericho looks for a superplex, only to be shoved down and hit with the Blockbuster for the pin.

Rating: D. ANOTHER lame match tonight with notable botches on moves that shouldn’t be that hard to pull off. Also another match here with a guy with nothing to do on Sunday and a guy in a match no one cares about on Sunday, but hey he’s in the NWO so we must be interested in him right?

Bagwell knocks out the referee for fun.

Here’s the NWO again because we need to give Hogan more presents. Bischoff gives him a ring (make your own jokes) shaped like the WCW Title and various posters to commemorate major moments in his career. That’s another six minutes I’ll never get back.

Lex Luger vs. Randy Savage

Savage comes in like a crazy man (perfect for the role) and gets beaten down as a result. A hard clothesline in the corner has Luger in control but he charges into Savage’s boot to put him down. Savage pounds away and chokes a lot before sending Luger to the floor. Luger goes face first into the steps but blocks a shot into the barricade.

Lex throws him into the crowd for a quick beating before we head back inside, where the referee is bumped by Luger’s steel forearm. Savage hides behind Liz as Luger makes his big comeback and of course here’s the NWO, led by Bagwell, for the big beatdown. The big elbow ends Luger in a worthless match.

Rating: D+. I’m trying to like some of these matches but they’re not making it easy on me. Luger and Savage fought on and over for years and the matches were only good once in awhile. The best I can make of this is they wanted Bagwell to cost Luger a match here to give Luger a reason to want to beat him on Sunday, again working on the assumption that anyone cares about Buff Bagwell.

Here are Hogan and Bischoff YET AGAIN to finally close things out. Hogan talks about how many people he’s beaten over the years and how Sting is going to be stung, but there’s another gift for Hollywood. Eric says this isn’t from him and here’s Bret Hart in the limo. Hogan opens the box to reveal….a Hogan head. Sting shows up on top of the NWO sign at the entrance and ziplines down to the ring to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. I’ve seen a lot of dull go home shows before, but this one was absolutely horrible. This show barely promoted Starrcade at all and was all about the NWO taking over Nitro. I’ve read rumors before that the NWO was originally going to get Nitro but this show was such a ratings disaster that the plans were changed to WCW keeping it. That’s how big of a flop this show was, but I guess since so many people had already been sold on Starrcade that it didn’t make much of a difference.

Here’s Starrcade if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/02/03/starrcade-1997-the-death-of-wcw/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $5 at:




Impact Wrestling – May 9, 2013: Hogan In Only Two Segments Equals MUCH Better Show

Impact Wrestling
Date: May 9, 2013
Location: BancorpSouth Arena, Tupelo, Mississippi
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz, Todd Keneley

It’s another live show this week as we’re less than a month away from Slammiversary. The main event tonight is yet another tag match with Sting captaining a TNA team along with Kurt Angle and a mystery partner, which may be AJ Styles to face Aces and 8’s. In other words, almost everything is the same as it always is, which is TNA’s major problem at the moment. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week with Sting beating Matt Morgan for the title match last week and D’Lo Brown potentially being kicked off the team.

Here are Angle and Sting to open things up. Sting talks about wanting to take the heart out of Aces and 8’s by taking the title from Ray in Boston. He doesn’t want to wait another month though so tonight he’s going to war with the machine. Angle talks about making Brown scream I QUIT last week, but tonight it’s AJ Styles that can turn the tide in the war. Kurt calls out AJ and yells at him to make a decision right now.

Sting says hang on a second and talks about his time of hanging in the rafters and being the loner for awhile. He calls this place the house that AJ built and sticks out his hand to Styles. Angle takes the mic away from Sting and yells at AJ that he’s either with them or against them, so Styles walks away. Angle goes after Styles and AJ takes off the jacket. They slug it out on the ramp and the bikers sneak in and lay out Sting with a 3D.

Post break AJ has nothing to say.

Tara/Gail Kim vs. Mickie James/Velvet Sky

Mickie pounds on Gail to start as we have a very good view of Velvet from the apron. Gail interferes though and lets Tara take over, allowing Tara to put Mickie in the Tree of Woe. A baseball slide hits Mickie in the face and it’s off to Gail for a splash in the corner. Mickie comes back with a kick to the face in the corner and it’s off to Velvet. She quickly loads up In Yo Face on Tara but has to send Gail to the floor. No that it matters as In Yo Face hits Tara for the pin at 3:32.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here other than the nice upskirt shots of Velvet. I’m guessing they’re moving towards Mickie taking the title and then doing the legend vs. rookie wonder in Taryn at BFG, which doesn’t do much for me, but then again very rarely does anything the Knockouts do get me interested.

Post match Gail lays out Tara and puts her in the Figure Four around the post.

Bully isn’t pleased with D’Lo and the bikers leave him standing there as they go to the ring.

Bad Influence offers Storm some beer to hopefully sway him to their side. They leave and Storm starts drinking.

Here are Aces and 8’s to hype up the main event tonight. They know the mystery partner isn’t AJ Styles because AJ has seen the light of day. However, there’s club business with D’Lo Brown. A couple of weeks ago (it was last week), Brown disappointed the team so turn in his colors right now. Brown says no so Ray gives him one more chance. Brisco and Bischoff take the vest off of him and Ray yells at him for quitting. Brown offers to beat up Magnus tonight to get the vest back. Ray says no because Doc gets to beat up Magnus instead. Apparently Brown’s spot rests on Doc winning.

Magnus vs. Doc

This is joined in progress after a break with Doc in control and knocking a jumping Magnus out of the air. After a quick chinlock, Doc kicks him in the face but Magnus starts his comeback with a big boot of his own. Some clotheslines puts Doc down and after shoving him off the top, a top rope elbow gets two for Magnus. Brown interferes but is thrown into the steps for his efforts. Back in and Doc hits a fireman’s carry into a pancake for two. Brown tries to trip Magnus but grabs the wrong foot, allowing Magnus to get a quick rollup on Doc for the pin at 4:12 shown.

Rating: D+. The ending was kind of obvious, but if this cuts some of the lame fat from the bikers I’m all for it. So many of their lower level guys are just worthless and Brown might be the most worthless of them all. This doesn’t exactly make the bikers look strong though, but that’s WAY past helping at this point.

Post break Ray wants to CRUSH BROWN’S SKULL WITH A HAMMER. Instead of murdering him, Ray calms down and makes him a prospect instead.

Hogan wants to team up with Angle and Sting but his doctors told him no. Hogan got a phone call today and if the guy is who he says he is, but apparently they would save the six man. Sting isn’t sure and suggests Magnus.

Aries and Roode also offer Storm beer.

Bad Influence vs. Bobby Roode/Austin Aries

James Storm is guest referee and the winners get a tag title shot. Aries starts with Kaz and they spin around a lot with Aries taking over and relaxing on the top rope. Both guys try to rake the others eyes and both try the clap tag to trick Storm, but James looks at both and shrugs. Regular tags bring in Roode and Daniels and they shake hands before both kick the other in the ribs at the same time.

Roode takes Daniels down in the corner with a neckbreaker and it’s off to Aries for a middle rope elbow into the back of a seated Daniels. It only gets one since Storm is distracted so it’s time for some HARD chops in the corner from Aries. Daniels is sent to the floor for an ax handle from Aries. Off to Roode and Bad Influence finally double teams to take over. An elbow drop to Roode’s back gets two and Roode is in trouble. Tazz suggests putting a bowl of beer down on the mat to make Storm get down faster.

Roode throws Kaz into Daniels and finally makes the hot tag off to Aries. It’s elbow strikes all around but Daniels escapes the brainbuster. Aries throws him onto Kaz on the floor though and takes both guys out with a suicide dive. Back in and Austin goes up for a frog splash (complete with Eddie dance) for two. Bad Influence hits a powerbomb/neckbreaker combo on Aries for two before Kaz has Fade to Black countered by Roode.

A spinebuster puts Kaz down but an STO puts Roode down as well. Aries suplexes Daniels down but Austin charges into a boot in the corner. Angel’s Wings are countered but the brainbuster is countered as well. Daniels rolls up Aries but Storm won’t count because Daniels is pulling the tights. Aries loads up a swig of beer and sprays it in Daniels’ face. Storm drinks the rest of the beer but gets shoved by Aries.

Storm loads up the Last Call but hits Daniels by mistake. He won’t count the three though because that’s not right. Instead it’s a Last Call on Aries and both guys are out. Storm walks away and the match seemingly just ends at 11:20. My guess is this sets up a triple threat tag because we haven’t had one of those in awhile.

Rating: C+. Good match here with a stupid ending to set up yet another triple threat. I mean, we haven’t had one in like two weeks, so clearly it’s time for another one right? The tag division continues to be nothing of note from a storyline perspective but the matches are at least entertaining.

Aces and 8’s destroy Magnus in the back. What is that, the third time that’s happened?

Suicide is back soon.

Video on Chris Sabin returning last week.

Here’s Kenny King to remind us he’s still around. King brags about being awesome and how impressive it is that he has to beat two people every single week. More like every month but whatever. He calls out Chris Sabin as someone who has overcome the odds so here’s Chris to a big ovation. Chris talks about being in physical therapy for the last year but how it’s been worth it. King hands him the belt and says that’s as close as “Frail” Sabin will ever get to being champion. Chris pops him in the face and King leaves.

Storm is out cold in the back with the four guys from the tag title match standing over him.

The Bound For Glory Series is back and this year a Gut Check winner will be in the Series. There’s a four man tournament next week with the winner getting into the Series for a shot at the world title at BFG.

Ray tells Aces and 8’s that they’re weeding out the weak ones. Knux is tasked with making sure D’Lo keeps the beer cold and the bikes washed.

Angle leaves without a partner. Hogan gets another call and the mystery partner might be here.

Kurt Angle/Sting/??? vs. Aces and 8’s

It’s Ray/D-Von/Anderson here. Angle and Sting are on their own to start. Kurt and D-Von get things going here with the fans completely behind Angle. A quick belly to belly puts D-Von down but it’s off to the world champion for some hard elbows to the back of Kurt’s neck. Kurt grabs ray’s arm but it’s quickly off to Sting, sending Ray running into the corner. Anderson gets the tag but he walks into a dropkick and atomic drop before it’s back to Angle.

Kurt beats on Anderson a bit before it’s back to D-Von who takes Kurt down for a quick two count. Angle slugs him in the face but the numbers came catches up with him again. The Dudleys hit a reverse 3D on Angle before knocking Sting off the apron. Something is apparently going on in the back and it’s the rest of Aces and 8’s all laid out. We take a break and come back with Ray hitting a good dropkick (Tazz: “LIKE MIL MASCARAS!”) for two on Kurt.

D-Von comes back in to crank on Angle’s neck for a bit before slamming him down and dropping a leg for no cover. WE get the Hogan imitations of course and it’s back to Ray for more pounding on Kurt. Angle snaps off an Angle Slam on Ray out of nowhere and it’s hot tag to Sting. The Splash and Death Drop get two on D-Von as Anderson makes the save. There’s another splash on D-Von but now Ray makes the save.

Sting basically Hulks Up and gets in Ray’s face and they slug it out. There’s the Scorpion on Ray but Anderson makes the save. Sting is taken to the floor as the Dudleys load up a table, but here’s ABYSS to return and clean house. He chokeslams Anderson through the table (not a DQ) and hits the Black Hole Slam on D-Von for the pin at 18:27.

Rating: C+. Good main event here with a nice surprise too. This doesn’t exactly change much because if I had to make a bet, I’d be on the side that says Abyss is hot for a few weeks and then goes back to doing nothing of note for months like everyone else on the roster. Still though, a good surprise here and it had to happen sooner or later.

Overall Rating: C+. FAR more entertaining show tonight with a lot less annoying stuff to sit through. The main event was fine and the surprise wasn’t bad, but at the end of the day it still leads to a pretty lame PPV main event in a few weeks. Ray vs. Sting does nothing for anyone but it’s Sting so we have to give him at least one PPV title shot a year just because we have to. There was some good stuff here tonight and the show was light years easier to sit through than last week, which is a very good sign.

Results

Mickie James/Velvet Sky b. Tara/Gail Kim – In Yo Face to Tara

Magnus b. Doc – Rollup

Austin Aries/Bobby Roode vs. Bad Influence went to a no contest

Kurt Angle/Sting/Abyss b. Aces and 8’s – Black Hole Slam to D-Von

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $5 at:

 




Impact Draws Lowest Audience In Seven Months

This past Thursday’s show saw the worst audience of the year.  The numbers have been going down since Bully won the title but are falling even faster now that it’s all about Sting and Hogan.

 

Imagine that: people don’t care about Bubba Ray Dudley vs. two old guys in the year 2013.  I for one am shocked.