ECW On Sci-Fi
Date: September 23, 2008
Location: Nationwide Arena, Columbus, Ohio
Commentators: Jim Ross, Matt Striker

The big story continues to be ECW Champion Matt Hardy dealing with Mark Henry, which is likely going to be quite the problem sooner rather than later. At the same time, there is a newcomer in the form of Jack Swagger, who is off to a rather nice start. The show still needs some fresh stars, but at least things have gotten a bit better. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here are the Miz and John Morrison to get things going. Miz isn’t happy with losing to Evan Bourne last week and blames Ricky Ortiz. We see a clip of the loss and therefore it’s time to mock Ortiz’s hair. They aren’t happy with being ignored for the sake of the “locker room freshmen” and mock Teddy Long. Morrison: “Long could never hang out at the palace of wisdom.”

Cue Long, who brings up the Superstar Initiative, though Morrison mocks Braden Walker for being gone after two matches. Long says the Initiative is continuing and Miz challenges Ortiz and Bourne for tonight. That doesn’t work for Long, as Bourne isn’t here and they know it. Ortiz comes out, with Miz and Morrison saying pick a partner because the two of them can beat anyone. Long loves the idea of the two of them beating anyone…so they can face each other! And the winner faces Ortiz immediately thereafter! That was rather clever and the wordplay worked.

We look at Kane beating up Evan Bourne last night. I get that it’s kane, but bragging about the new stars and then showing one of them getting beaten up on the bigger show isn’t the best visual.

Ricky Ortiz is ready for tonight when Tiffany comes up and seems to approve. Ortiz has something in his pocket (Teddy Long: “Is it appropriate?”) and pulls out one of his rally towels, which Tiffany puts around her neck. Tiffany: “I like it.”

Finlay vs. Bam Neely

Hornswoggle is here too. Finlay drops him with an early clothesline and sends Neely into the corner, followed by a seated senton for two. Neely is back up with some heavy forearms to the back but Finlay shrugs it off and hits a clothesline. Finlay gets dropped again though and Neely grabs a Boston crab. Hornswoggle offers the shillelagh and gets thrown down, with the distraction letting Finlay blast Neely with said shillelagh for the fast pin.

Maryse vs. Michelle McCool

Non-title and I guess we have a light roster tonight. They go to the mat and slug it out to start, followed by McCool hitting a spear and hammering away. Maryse is sent outside but avoids a baseball slide and tosses McCool into the barricade. Back in and we hit the reverse chinlock, which JR thinks looks nothing like the Iron Sheik. McCool gets up and hits a dropkick, followed by a running flipping neckbreaker for two. Maryse manages to slam her off the top though and a DDT finishes McCool off.

Rating: C. You really can see the women coming along at this point and it’s great to watch. The match might not have been great, but it was a straight wrestling match with wrestlers who happened to be women. Given where the division has been before, this is rather impressive as the whole thing was basically being built up from scratch.

No Mercy rundown.

Here are Mark Henry and Tony Atlas for a chat. Henry says that Matt Hardy didn’t pin him to win the ECW Title because he can’t do it and never will. At No Mercy, Henry will show that he is the real champion and Hardy will learn it first hand.

Mike Knox vs. Chase Stevens

Stevens strikes away but gets booted in the face and splashed in the corner. A big running knee drop and the spinning Downward Spiral finish Stevens without much trouble.

Post match Jack Swagger comes out to powerbomb Stevens, which draws out Tommy Dreamer. Knox offers a distraction and Swagger powerbombs Dreamer as well.

Miz vs. John Morrison

The winner faces Ricky Ortiz after the match. Striker: “Who will be the Simon and who will be the Garfunkel?” Sweet goodness man. They trade rollups for two each until Morrison sends him crashing out to the floor. We take a break and come back with Morrison fighting out of a chinlock but getting caught with the corner clothesline for two.

The chinlock goes on again so Morrison fights up, only to get taken back down by a half nelson facebuster. Morrison shrugs that off and hits a running knee. Morrison knocks him down again and goes up, with Miz joining him on top. They both crash down and it’s actually a double countout.

Rating: C+. Much like the women earlier, you can see Miz getting that much better so quickly and it’s quite the impressive feat. He’s gone from a total joke to someone who can easily hold his own in the ring. That’s not something easily done and, along with Morrison, Miz is basically carrying this show. Nice match here, with the cop out ending making some sense this time.

Post match Ricky Ortiz runs in for the splashes to both of them to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This wasn’t their strongest show, though I’ll take having some people come over from Smackdown for a week to boost things up. That’s one of the best things that can be done, as it’s not like this show’s roster has the depth to be interesting week in and week out. The new talent initiative can help, though they’re going to need a better success rate. It’s not a very good show, but I’m a bit more optimistic than I have been in the past.

Remember to follow me on Twitter and Bluesky @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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ECW On Sci Fi
Date: September 16, 2008
Location: Sommet Center, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Todd Grisham, Matt Striker

Matt Hardy’s reign continues around here and that means he still has to deal with Mark Henry. That’s quite an issue in its own right but tonight Henry has his hands full with Finlay. Other than that, last week saw the debut of a newcomer named Jack Swagger, who made quite the impact in his first match. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Matt Hardy vs. Mark Henry is confirmed for No Mercy.

Matt Hardy vs. Mike Knox

Non-title. For some reason Striker talks about the lyrics to Hardy’s theme song as Hardy and Knox fight over a headlock. Knox goes with the power by slamming him down and dropping a knee to the ribs for two. The chinlock goes on so Hardy fights up to make the comeback. One heck of a clothesline drops Hardy, who pops right back up with the middle rope elbow to the head.

The Twist Of Fate is blocked so Hardy switches to a DDT for two instead. They head outside for a double clothesline and we take a break. We come back with Hardy fighting out of another chinlock but Knox hits a not so great dropkick. Knox takes him to the corner but Hardy elbows out and….I think misses a moonsault, though he still grazes Knox anyway. Either way, Knox covers him for two and we’re back to the chinlock. Back up and Hardy’s Side Effect gets two, followed by a tornado DDT. The Twist Of Fate finishes Knox off.

Rating: B-. This turned into a pretty decent match, though they would have been better off with less time, as Knox went to the chinlock too many times. There is always a place for a hero coming back from behind against a monster and that’s what you got here. Hardy has bigger problems coming soon enough, but at least he did well against a lower level villain.

Tony Atlas thinks Matt Hardy is looking good but Mark Henry says it’s only because Hardy isn’t in there against him. Henry blames Finlay for the title loss.

Miz vs. Evan Bourne

John Morrison and Ricky Ortiz are here too. Miz takes him into the corner to start but Bourne ducks a left hand and kicks away. Bourne is sent outside, meaning the seconds can yell at each other a bit. Back in and Miz forearms away in the ropes as commentary discusses the stock market.

An arm and leg crank have Bourne in more trouble but he fights out, only to get dropped with a heck of a clothesline. Bourne is back up with a kick to the head and a running hurricanrana. Miz goes up and gets thrown back down, only for Morrison to trip Bourne. Ortiz cuts that off and Bourne gets a rollup pin.

Rating: C+. Miz was clearly getting better in the ring at this point and was turning from a joke to a joke who could do some things between the ropes for a change. That’s the kind of development you do not see very often and it’s nice to see it happening here. At the same time, Bourne is already looking like someone worth watching and Ortiz…well have you seen Miz and Bourne?

Raw Rebound.

Jack Swagger vs. Chase Stevens

Swagger wrestles him down to start but Stevens manages to get in a shot of his own. That earns him a drive into the corner, followed by a running knee. The belly to belly drops Stevens again and the Blue Thunder Bomb finishes Stevens fast.

Finlay vs. Mark Henry

Hornswoggle and Tony Atlas are here too and this is fallout from Finlay hitting him with the shillelagh last week. Finlay circles him a bit to start before getting knocked down with an elbow to the head. Henry goes with the power but Finlay is back up to forearm away. That earns him a standing body block as Henry isn’t having any of this. Finlay gets knocked into the announcers’ table and we take a break.

We come back with Henry sending Finlay into the apron as Striker talks about people crying at the ocean. Henry slams him down again as Striker moves on to Undertaker beating Hogan in this town six years ago. Finlay fights back and hits some forearms to the chest but Atlas shoves Hornswoggle. That lets Henry go after Hornswoggle so Finlay gets in a Shillelagh shot to the arm.

Finlay works on the arm back inside and gets two off a rollup. It’s so close that the fans pop for the count but the referee has to wave it off. Finlay sits on the chest and goes after the arm again but Henry powers him into the corner. The splash sets up the World’s Strongest Slam to give Henry the pin.

Rating: B-. Finlay is one of those unique stars who can make almost anything work and he pulled it off here. There is only so much that you can do with someone the size of Henry, though he’s rapidly figuring out how to be a monster. Keep that up and he can play his role well, especially with a veteran like Finlay.

Overall Rating: B-. Nice enough show here, as there are some fresh stars around here to spice things up a bit. Swagger has done well to start so far and Miz and Morrison are getting that much better rather quickly. Throw in Hardy as the big star of the show and fighting the monster that is Henry and I had a good time with this one.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Battle Royal Collection
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz, Jesse Ventura, Gorilla Monsoon, Vince McMahon, Joey Styles, Bill Mercer, Tony Schiavone

Well, as usual the Vault saves me from having to come up with a catchy name for these things. It’s one of those deals where the idea is right there and we have a bunch of these to go through. This should be interesting as battle royals can go in all kinds of directions, often out of nowhere. Let’s get to it.

From Smackdown, January 13, 2006.

World Heavyweight Championship: Battle Royal

Bobby Lashley, JBL, Paul London, Brian Kendrick, Sylvan, Nunzio, Super Crazy, Simon Dean, Matt Hardy, Joey Mercury, Johnny Nitro, Mark Henry, Rey Mysterio, Kurt Angle, Orlando Jordan, Vito, Animal, William Regal, Psicosis, Paul Burchill

For the vacant title after Batista got injured. Angle is a surprise so JBL goes after him and is quickly suplexed. Angle tosses JBL and Vito so a bunch of people jump Angle at once. An early elimination attempt is blocked as Angle slips back under the ropes, allowing him to go after Mysterio. That’s broken up and Mysterio can’t get rid of Jordan. Animal and Henry have the big slugout with Henry knocking him out.

We take a break and come back with Dean having been eliminated, followed by Nunzio and Jordan being tossed as well. Angle throws out Regal and Burchill but Henry jumps him from behind. Henry knocks Angle outside and follows him (neither are eliminated) as London is tossed. A gorilla press sends Angle through the announcers’ table to leave him laying and Henry gets back inside. Lashley gives Henry a running shoulder but knocks himself down, allowing Henry to kick him out. Kendrick is out as well and we take another break.

We come back with Hardy getting rid of Sylvan, leaving us with Hardy, Henry, Mercury, Mysterio and Nitro, plus Angle on the floor. Henry gets rid of Hardy and Mysterio eliminates Nitro and Mercury. Mysterio realizes he’s alone with Henry but loads up the Eddie Dance to show he’s serious. Some kicks to the leg stagger Henry and the 619 connects. Another one hits the ribs and Mysterio tries to pull him out, only to get sent to the apron.

A springboard is pulled out of the air though and Mysterio is tossed, but Angle gets up. The straps come down and Angle hammers away but Henry runs him over. Back up and an Angle Slam drops Henry, who is right back with a running splash in the corner. Angle manages a headscissors choke but Henry powerbombs the heck out of him for the break. They get up again and Angle hits a German suplex, followed by the front facelock. Angle can’t get him out but another headscissors lets Angle get the elimination and the title at 23:57.

Rating: B-. They weren’t hiding the fact that Angle was the heavy favorite here, but Henry felt like a monster in his own right. There’s nothing wrong with letting you know what’s going to happen from a mile away on occasion and that was the case here. Angle is a good choice for the last minute champion and the fans were into what they were seeing, so I’ll take what we got here.

From Saturday Night’s Main Event X.

Battle Royal

Honky Tonk Man, Sika, Ax, Smash, Koko B. Ware, Nikolai Volkoff, Hillbilly Jim, Andre The Giant, Hulk Hogan, B. Brian Blair, Jim Brunzell, Paul Orndorff, Lanny Poffo, Butch Reed, Tama, Billy Jack Haynes, Haku, Blackjack Mulligan, Hercules, Ron Bass

Commentary completely ignores everyone other than Hogan and Andre during the entrances and…well yeah. Hogan and Andre square off but Orndorff and others jump them to start fast. Honky Tonk Man is out in a hurry and Andre gets rid of Sika as well. Andre beats up Jim and Mulligan before tossing out Haku with ease. One heck of a headbutt busts Poffo open and Andre tosses him in a hurry.

Poffo is gushing blood on the floor as he’s taken out on a stretcher as Andre beats on Mulligan (who stands 6’6 and weighs about 350lbs and is dwarfed by Andre). Bass is out and Mulligan follows him. Hogan dumps Volkoff as Ventura is begging to see Hogan vs. Andre. There goes Blair and Hogan is whipped into Andre and HERE WE GO!

Hogan slugs away and Ware of all people jumps Andre. Thanks you bird brain. Hogan dumps Orndorff but Andre grabs Hogan for the headbutts and tosses him with no trouble. We take a break and come back with Hogan still leaving and a bunch of people getting together to toss Andre, who takes the interest in the match with him.

Hercules tosses Tama and Ax is gone. Smash dumps Hillbilly and Ware dropkicks Reed out to get us down to four. We have a bizarre tag match of Smash and Hercules against Ware and Haynes (sounds Lethal Lotteryish). Ware is tossed and a double clotheslines has Haynes in trouble. Haynes manages to dump Smash though and slugs it out with Hercules. Cue Bobby Heenan on the apron for a distraction though and Hercules dumps Hayes for the win at 11:16.

Rating: C+. This was a tale of two battle royals, as you have everything before the Hogan vs. Andre showdown/eliminations and then everything after them. That’s where things fall apart, because there was no reason to care in the slightest after the two of them were gone. Andre was feeling like a monster though and the heat for the showdown with Hogan was great, so I’ll let the rest slide.

From Superstars, February 25, 1995.

Battle Royal

Sionne, Fatu, Jacob Blu, Jerry Lawler, King Kong Bundy, Duke Droese, Aldo Montoya, 1-2-3 Kid, Mantaur, Mabel, Jimmy Del Ray, Adam Bomb, Bob Holly, Mo, Shawn Michaels, British Bulldog, Kwang, Henry Godwinn, Eli Blu, Tom Pritchard

Michaels runs away from a mob and eliminates himself to spare quite a bit of pain. We settle way down with everyone brawling and no one really coming close to being eliminated. Lawler has to run away from Mabel and we slow down again. Jacob is knocked over the top to finally get rid of someone else and we take a break. We come back with Godwinn backdropping Droese out, which Lawler finds hilarious. Del Ray is out and Mabel splashes Bundy onto Kwang in the corner. Holly clotheslines Montoya out and Godwinn is gone as well, followed by Fatu.

Bomb and Pritchard are both out and Kid fires off the kicks to Lawler in the corner. Bundy and Mantaur get rid of Mabel, with Bundy saying he did it by himself. A bunch of people toss Bundy and we take another break. We come back with Holly getting tossed and we’re down to six. Kid and Smith get Lawler out to the apron but he hangs on, even landing on one foot to stay alive. Lawler tells the audience to stay quiet because he’s still officially in.

Cue Bret Hart to look at the hopping Lawler, with a rather amusing look on his face. Lawler tries to hop away (Vince: “He looks like a demented kangaroo out there.”) but Hart stomps on his foot and that’s enough for Lawler in a funny bit. Hart beats on him a bit more and we’re down to five.

Kwang misses a spinwheel kick and gets eliminated by Bulldog. That leaves us with Bulldog, Eli, Kid and Mantaur, with Eli tossing Kid. Bulldog gets rid of Mantaur and the powerslam hits “either Jacob or Eli” but here is Michaels to cheap shot Bulldog so Eli can take over. Then Bulldog low bridges Eli out anyway for the win at 13:51.

Rating: D. The only entertaining part here was the Hart segment and this was a really lame battle royal as a result. Bulldog was the only realistic winner near the end and that made for a long stretch until the finish. Nothing to see here and given that it was the doldrums of 1995, that shouldn’t be a surprise in the slightest.

From ECW Hardcore TV, December 24, 1996.

Battle Royal

This is a King Of The Hill battle royal, meaning pinfall, submission or over the top eliminations. Taz is in the ring (but not an entrant) when the lights go out and Sabu is in at #1. The Eliminators (Saturn and Kronus) are in at #2 and #3 and give Sabu a pair of Total Eliminations. Taz heads outside to yell at Sabu as New Jack and Mustafa (the Gangatas) are in at #4 and #5.

A mini tag match breaks out while Sabu is down and Taz leaves. Another pair of Total Eliminations hit the Gangstas and the Eliminators eliminate them. Sabu gets dropped with a rather rough spike piledriver as Rob Van Dam is in at #6. Van Dam (and his snazzy pants) can’t do much on his own but Sabu is back up for the save as another tag match breaks out. Balls Mahoney (he’s new at this point) is in at #7 and the fans think he’s fat. Spike Dudley is in at #8 as Van Dam hits a nasty looking springboard kick to Mahoney’s face.

Things settle down a bit as it’s more of a standard brawl, which is pretty logical for ECW. Little Guido is in at #9 and is immediately kicked in the face by Saturn. Another Total Elimination gets rid of Spike and Bubba Ray Dudley is in at #10. Bubba shrugs off Guido’s forearms and gorilla presses him out for the big crash. Van Dam and Mahoney are out, leaving us with the Eliminators vs. Sabu/Bubba.

Chris Candido is in at #11 to help Saturn break up Sabu’s camel clutch on Bubba (so much for that partnership). Saturn saves Candido from Sabu and hits a powerbomb but Sabu is back up with a springboard clothesline to the Eliminators. Brian Lee is in at #11 as Candido eliminates Kronus. Bubba is knocked out by Lee and Shane Douglas is in at #12. Douglas stomps away at Saturn and Candido gets two on Sabu.

Tommy Dreamer is in at #13 and Douglas panics, eliminating himself rather than face Dreamer. Saturn and Dreamer drop everyone else, with Saturn superkicking Candido through the ropes. Sabu is back up with a double clothesline to Candido as D-Von Dudley is in at #14. Lee has a chair to clean house until Sabu takes it away and chairs D-Von for two. Sandman is in at #15 and goes after Saturn as the ring is starting to get full. Saturn is kicked out and Sabu moonsaults D-Von for two.

Louie Spicoli is in at #16 and tosses Candido out and a bunch of people go after D-Von for two more. Lee tosses Dreamer and Spicoli as the Blue World Order is in at Stevie Cool, Nova and the Blue Meanie are in at #17, #18 and #19. The Stevie Kick gets rid of D-Von but Lee takes out Meanie and Nova (his teammates in Raven’s Nest). Another Stevie Kick hits Sandman but Lee tosses Richards as well. Lee tosses Sandman, only to get clotheslined out by Sabu for the win at 19:45.

Rating: C+. It’s ECW so your mileage is absolutely going to vary, but what matters the most is that this felt different. ECW didn’t do this kind of match very often and it made things that much more interesting. Sabu going wire to wire is fine as he’s such a fan favorite and the people were happy throughout. Nice little surprise here and that’s a good thing.

From World Class Championship Wrestling TV, January 7, 1983.

Battle Royal

Wild Bill Irwin, Bugsy McGraw, King Kong Bundy, Terry Gordy, Kerry Von Erich, Andre The Giant

Pinfall, submission or over the top. Von Erich charges at Gordy to start before the bell. Andre comes in and we’re ready to go. Michael Hayes offers a distraction on the floor though and Von Erich is out in a hurry. That’s not ok with Von Erich, who goes back in to go after Gordy again. Von Erich is finally dragged out as Andre chokes Gordy for a change. Bundy hammers and chokes Andre, who doesn’t seem to notice.

A middle rope ax handle finally drops Andre, who falls onto Gordy in a funny spot. McGraw is tossed as Andre chokes Gordy on the mat. Bundy and Irwin go after Andre for the save but he gets up and chokes Gordy again (Does Gordy owe him money or something?). A headbutt knocks Bundy down and of course it’s time to choke Gordy again. Andre headbutts Irwin and chokes Gordy AGAIN like he’s in a slasher movie.

Bundy gets punched through the ropes and Andre gets to massage Gordy’s throat some more. Irwin and Bundy try to help Gordy again and it works for all of two seconds before Gordy accidentally drops Bundy. Some triple teaming slows Andre down as the fans are all behind him. They manage to get Andre down to his knees and the mat, but he gets back to his feet again.

Irwin hammers away but Andre fights up and atomic drops Irwin out. Hayes saves Gordy from elimination so Andre eliminates himself to give chase. So we’re down to Bundy vs. Gordy as Andre realizes how much he just screwed up. Bundy slams Gordy for two but misses s the Avalanche. Gordy dropkicks him in the back for the win at 12:57.

Rating: C+. This was ok enough, but at the same time it was mainly only funny for Andre’s near stalker killer movie villain obsession with Gordy. Andre went after him time after time and it was rather entertaining, with even commentary wondering what was with Andre’s obsession. Von Erich being pretty much nothing here was kind of weird, but Andre made up for him leaving so soon.

From Battlebowl 1993.

Battlebowl

Cactus Jack, Vader, Johnny B. Badd, Brian Knobbs, Shockmaster, Paul Orndorff, King Kong, Dustin Rhodes, Sting, Jerry Sags, Steve Austin, Ric Flair, Rick Rude, Shanghai Pierce, Hawk, Rip Rogers

Rogers is very banged up after getting beaten up earlier in the night. It’s the usual brawl to start and Rogers is out first, which is quite logical. Pierce is out as well as commentary admits there is too much going on to call here. Austin and Flair go outside (not eliminated) to brawl and Badd is sent to the ramp, which is NOT an elimination (as covered by commentary). Not that it matters as Badd is out a few seconds later.

Back in and Orndorff tries to toss Flair, with Hawk making a save to leave Ventura annoyed/confused. Jack loads up a superplex on Vader (of course) but gets broken up, allowing Vader to toss Jack out. Orndorff is out as well and the fans are not pleased with either of those two. Kong and the Shockmaster are both eliminated and the ring is a lot more clear. Vader gorilla presses Sting to the ramp (again, not out) but Sting comes back in to choke Vader in the corner.

Sags and Vader save Knobbs from Sting, who then saves Flair from Vader for some reason. Flair goes outside (not out) to go after Harley Race as Sting goes after the Nasty Boys at the same time. Back up and Vader runs Sting over before Flair beats up Knobbs, which isn’t something you see very often. Rhodes and Austin brawl to the floor, again without going over the top as we’ve gone a long time without an elimination. Rhodes gets posted and busted open and we slow way down, with commentary pointing it out as well.

Back up and Knobbs, Sags, Rhodes, Rude and Hawk all being eliminated in VERY short order. Well that picked up the pace. We’re down to Austin, Vader, Sting and Flair (not bad) as Rhodes is being led out and looks to have had his bell rung. Sting suplexes Austin and Vader misses a charge at Flair in the corner, leaving Flair to beat up Race on the ramp. Vader goes out for the save as Sting clotheslines Austin in the ring.

Sting and Austin join the other two on the ramp as this is not following proper battle royal procedures. The trainer comes out to check on Flair so Vader kicks him too. Flair is stretchered out and is officially eliminated due to injury. Naturally Race tries to turn the stretcher over, because that’s the kind of thing Race would do. Vader gorilla presses Sting back into the ring but Sting pops up and powerslams a diving Vader out of the air.

House is quickly cleaned with a bunch of clotheslines but the numbers game finally catches him in the corner. Austin gets in a rather impressive middle rope elbow (and has to stop himself from covering) before Vader drops Sting again. Vader hits two splashes but Sting avoids the third and makes the comeback on Austin.

Sting gets dropped again though and the Vader Bomb crushes him. Vader has hurt his own back though and Austin misses a top rope splash. Sting backdrops Austin onto the ramp and he falls onto the floor, which apparently counts as an elimination. So believe it or not, it’s Vader vs. Sting, with Vader hitting another splash. Sting avoids a charge though and fireman’s carries Vader onto the top, only to miss the Stinger Splash and eliminate himself so Vader wins at 25:35.

Rating: B-. This took some time but there is something about watching Sting and Vader no matter what they’re doing. Throw in Austin out there and getting to see Flair taking a beating and I couldn’t complain that much. It’s one of those things that works even with the extra time, though the ending was kind of out of nowhere and didn’t make Vader look that strong.

From Smackdown, November 29, 2011.

Battle Royal

Curt Hawkins, Ted DiBiase, Ezekiel Jackson, JTG, Johnny Curtis, Darren Young, Tyler Reks, Justin Gabriel, Tyson Kidd, Jinder Mahal, Hunico, Percy Watson, Yoshi Tatsu, Titus O’Neil, Sheamus, Jimmy Uso, Jey Uso, Hornswoggle, Kofi Kingston, Heath Slater

The winner gets a Christmas wish. Hornswoggle goes under the ring to start, leaving Sheamus (the Great White, in something that actually made air) tosses Young. Jimmy Uso is out as well, followed by JTG. Cole rants about how much guest host Mick Foley loves Christmas as Jackson dumps Hawkins. Sheamus pounds Jackson down and ducks a clothesline to get rid of him.

Curtis (Fandango) is gone and there goes Jey Uso and Kingston back to back. Tatsu and DiBiase are out, with Hornswoggle popping out from underneath the ring to pull Kidd out as well. We take a break and come back with the graphics messing up (which I believe was another Chris Jericho return), plus Gabriel being eliminated. O’Neil plants Reks but gets clotheslined out by Sheamus.

Reks jumps Sheamus from behind and gets pummeled but runs outside for a breather. Everyone goes to the floor for the brawl, with Sheamus being sent into the barricade. The non-Sheamuses get back inside but realize that they have to get rid of Hornswoggle as well. Hornswoggle is thrown back inside and can’t escape, with Slater throwing him down. Sheamus comes back in for the save and quickly eliminates everyone not named Hornswoggle.

Sheamus tells him to get out but Hornswoggle says he wants Sheamus out instead. Hornswoggle kicks him in the shin so Sheamus calls him a lunatic. Sheamus easily picks him up but Hornswoggle hangs onto the top rope. In a not so bright move, Sheamus goes over the top to pull Hornswoggle off the ropes. He tells Hornswoggle (who went through the ropes) to get down, but first Hornswoggle wants a hug. Hornswoggle shoves him off the apron for the clever win at 14:01. Hornswoggle would use the wish to be able to talk, which he could do before but was forgotten for the sake of the match.

Rating: C. Yeah I can’t get that mad at some like this. It was a goofy, lighthearted battle royal for the holiday special. Hornswoggle winning is a good way to go as the fans were behind him, especially when he finds an easy way to eliminate Sheamus and win. It wasn’t particularly good, but the result was charming enough.

Post match Sheamus is mad but raises Hornswoggle’s hand in holiday spirit.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a good example of why you don’t have multiple battle royals very often. Some of what we got here was fine enough, but seeing them over and over got repetitive. That is only going to get you so far and it was only so interesting. I did like that they offered a nice mixture of stuff from promotions, which is one of the places where the Vault tends to shine.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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ECW On Sci Fi
Date: September 2, 2008
Location: Mellon Arena, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 6,500
Commentators: Todd Grisham, Matt Striker

It’s the last ECW before Unforgiven and I have no idea what they’re going to do with this week. At the end of the day, there is nothing left for them to do before the Championship Scramble and that isn’t overly promising. These shows are only so interesting in the first place and this isn’t giving me much more hope. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

In Memory of Killer Kowalski.

We open with the Dirt Sheet, with John Morrison saying he once beat Stephen Hawkins at Parcheesi 44 times in a row. Miz is ready to win the ECW Title in his hometown at Unforgiven, even if Morrison didn’t qualify. Morrison says he’s been to the top of the mountain and had time to drink a soda (I shouldn’t be chuckling this much at John Morrison), that is bogus.

With that out of the way, here is our first guest, so cue ECW Champion Mark Henry, with Tony Atlas. Morrison says this will be better tonight and they won’t even make fun of Henry’s belt extender. Henry isn’t happy but here is second guest, Chavo Guerrero, with his theme music replaced by a Miz and Morrison performed hummed version (Henry is completely unable to hide his smile).

Chavo isn’t happy, so Morrison tells Kerwin in the truck to come see him after the show. Chavo wants his ECW Title back but Morrison says he lost it like six months ago so he should be over it. We move on to Finlay, who can’t be here tonight because he couldn’t find a babysitter for Hornswoggle. Instead, we have Finlay’s family, which is Morrison and Miz on the Titantron in front of a bar, doing some very bad Irish accents.

Miz starts doing a dance and everyone is just openly smiling and laughing. The real Finlay and Hornswoggle come out, with Hornswoggle kicking Uncle Miz in the leg. Morrison is ready to bring out Jeff Hardy (Miz: “It’s Matt.” Morrison: “Whatever.”), who Finlay remembers beating Morrison to qualify for the Scramble. Hardy mocks everyone, including Bam Neely, but Henry doesn’t want to hear this.

Henry threatens Hardy, who hopes that Atlas gets some rest on Saturday because he has a lot of saves to make at Unforgiven. Morrison and Miz jump Hardy and the brawl is on so here are Tommy Dreamer and Evan Bourne to get in on this. Nothing special brawl, absolutely hilarious stuff from Miz and Morrison.

Post break the fight almost breaks out again in the back but Teddy Long makes the eight man tag. And don’t worry about ruining the Dirt Sheet, because it was ruined when Miz started talking.

Gavin Spears vs. Super Crazy

Spears says this is his second chance to make a first impression and he’s ready to go. Crazy spins out of a wristlock to start and pulls Spears into a quickly escaped leglock. Back up and Spears fires off some knees to the chest before going with a more basic stomp to the back of Crazy’s head. Crazy fights up and gets taken right back down and Spears grabs something like a crossface. That’s broken up as well and Crazy kicks him down, setting up a quick moonsault for the pin.

Rating: C-. It’s pretty easy to see why Spears didn’t take on his first attempt on the main roster. Nothing he did here stood out in any way and it made for a dull match. Crazy was a fine choice to work with him as Crazy can do stuff with just about anyone, but this wasn’t working and it showed badly.

Ricky Ortiz vs. Ryan Braddock

Ortiz, who is still undefeated, manages to get about a dozen people spinning his towel. If you can’t get that over in Pittsburgh, just pack it in already man. Braddock grabs a headlock to start but Ortiz fights out. That doesn’t last long either as Braddock comes back with a middle rope knee to the head for two.

Striker makes a Welcome Back Kotter reference and I dislike that I’m smiling a bit as a result. Ortiz fights out of a chinlock so Braddock knees him in the head. The chinlock goes on again for a bit longer this time but Ortiz gets up again. A sitout powerslam sets up a middle rope shoulder, followed by the Big O to give Ortiz the pin.

Rating: C. Ortiz is the definition of “he’s there” and that’s not going to work long term. There was nothing to the match and nothing makes Ortiz stand out. The deal is that he’s undefeated and in theory he’ll put over a bigger name eventually, but that doesn’t make this any easier to watch. Braddock was nothing more than a warm body for Ortiz to beat up, though Braddock does at least have a decent look.

Raw Rebound, focusing entirely on Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho, with the title situation not even being mentioned.

WWE is at the Republican National Convention.

Unforgiven rundown.

Evan Bourne/Tommy Dreamer/Matt Hardy/Finlay vs. John Morrison/Chavo Guerrero/Mark Henry/Miz

The respective seconds are here too. Hardy and Morrison start things off before Dreamer comes in to take over. Finlay adds a clothesline but gets taken into the corner for the tag off to Guerrero. An atomic drop gets Finlay out of trouble and another clothesline connects. Finlay is back up and ties Chavo in the ring skirt so Hornswoggle can take Neely out as we take a break.

Back with what sounds like Morrison calling Hornswoggle a bet wetter, plus Guerrero giving Bourne a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Bourne is back up to kick Miz down and a standing moonsault gets two. Henry comes in to launch Bourne into the air for a crash and it’s back to Miz for a chinlock.

Bourne gets sent outside for a stomping from Neely, and a running knee from Morrison, which is at least more legal. The chinlock goes on back inside and Bourne is driven back into the corner for daring to fight up. Bourne finally manages a hurricanrana to Guerrero and it’s off to Dreamer to clean house. A bulldog gets two on Guerrero but Henry comes in to start the smashing.

Some knees in the corner set up a crossface chickenwing from Guerrero but Dreamer is out pretty quickly. Hardy comes back in, only for Henry to drop him with a clothesline. The splash misses though and Broune is up with the shooting star press. Dreamer adds a frog splash and Finlay clears out the rest of the team. The Twist Of Fate gives Hardy the pin to quite the crowd reaction.

Rating: B-. This worked rather well and felt like a big time house show main event. Above all else, I’ll take it over the usual matches we see around here. It helps when you have a match to build towards rather than just doing the same stuff over and over again. Hardy continues to feel like the biggest star around here and building around him is far from a bad idea. The rest of the people did fine, but this was about Hardy and Henry, which makes sense.

Overall Rating: B-. The main event was the only match that was worth seeing and they actually did a nice job of setting things up for Sunday’s title match. Throw in the outstandingly funny opening segment and it was more than enough to carry the other lame matches. It wasn’t a great show or anything, but I laughed more than once at the Dirt Sheet and I’ll take that every time.

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ECW On Sci Fi
Date: August 26, 2008
Location: Wachovia Center, Wilkes Barre, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Todd Grisham, Matt Striker

We’re coming up on Unforgiven and that doesn’t mean much around here, as the ECW Title is just kind of floating around. That leaves champion Mark Henry without much to do and hopefully that is addressed this week. The show could use a nice boost, but that has been the case for a good while now. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here is Tiffany to introduce Teddy Long for a chat. Long gets right to the point: ECW is going to have its own Championship Scramble at Unforgiven. He won’t explain the rules because they’re on WWE.com, but tonight it’s time for a bunch of qualifying matches.

Championship Scramble Qualifying Match: Matt Hardy vs. John Morrison

Their pants are far more similar than they should be. Hardy headlocks him down to start but Morrison fights out, only to be sent crashing out to the floor. Back in and Hardy is sent face first into the buckle, setting up the chinlock. A neckbreaker gives Morrison two but Starship Pain completely misses. Hardy pulls him out of the corner for a sitout powerbomb and the Side Effect gets two more. Back up and Morrison sends him crashing out to the floor so we can take a break.

We come back with Hardy fighting out of a chinlock so Morrison Russian legsweeps him for two. The Moonlight Drive is blocked so Morrison goes simple by just hammering on Hardy’s face. Morrison’s running knee gets two and the chinlock goes on again. Hardy fights up and hits the middle rope elbow to the back of the head for a quick two. Morrison’s backslide with feet on the ropes gets the same and they trade rollups for two each. The Flying Chuck drops Hardy for another near fall before a double clothesline takes them both down. Back up and the Moonlight Drive is countered into the Twist Of Fate to give Hardy the win.

Rating: B. This took its time to get going and wound up being a heck of a match with both of them working rather hard. The good thing is that while Hardy is a star and the likely winner, Morrison is just good enough to be a realistic threat. I had a good time with this one and it was one of the best matches ECW has had in a very long time.

Long and Tiffany are excited about Matt Hardy qualifying (Tiffany especially so) when Mark Henry and Tony Atlas come in to complain about the Championship Scramble. Long really doesn’t want to hear it.

Raw Rebound.

Championship Scramble Qualifying Match: The Miz vs. Evan Bourne

Bourne gets an early two off a rollup and grabs a hammerlock. Miz’s rollup gets two and Bourne armdrags him right back down into an armbar. Back up and Bourne hits a nice dropkick, only to be thrown out of the corner for a crash out to the floor. Miz stomps away back inside and grabs a seated abdominal stretch.

A release gordbuster gives Miz two and he grabs the bodyscissors. Bourne breaks out without much effort and kicks him in the head (simple, but effective) for two. The standing moonsault gets two more and Bourne takes him up top, where Miz avoids a super hurricanrana to crotch Bourne on top. The Reality Check gives Miz the fast pin.

Rating: C+. It wasn’t exactly a great match but Miz’s rise is a nice thing to see. He absolutely has the talent to do something, but he started so low on the totem pole that it’s taking time for him to find his footing. He was perfectly competent looking here though and that’s a great sign for his future.

Championship Scramble Qualifying Match: Chavo Guerrero vs. Tommy Dreamer

Bam Neely is here with Chavo. Dreamer grabs an early armdrag into a quickly broken armbar. Chavo takes over and stomps away, setting up an abdominal stretch. With that not lasting long, Dreamer knocks him out of the air and a backdrop puts Chavo down again. A running powerslam gives Dreamer two but Neely offers a distraction. Chavo sends them together and snaps Dreamer’s throat across the top. The frog splash gives Chavo the win.

Rating: C. They kept this short and that’s the right idea. While I could see Dreamer getting into the title match, it’s better to keep him away from higher profile matches. Chavo is another example of someone who can be slotted into the title match and work well at making anyone else look better. He might be a bit uninteresting, but that’s a valuable role to fill.

Josh Matthews, Candice Michelle and Batista are at the Democratic National Convention in Denver, telling people to vote.

Championship Scramble Qualifying Match: Finlay vs. Mike Knox

Hornswoggle is here with Finlay and these two have been brawling lately. An aggressive lockup goes nowhere to start so Finlay goes with a headlock, earning himself a shoulder back down. Knox powers him up against the ropes and they go to the floor, where Knox clotheslines the post by mistake. We take a break and come back with Finlay working on the arm with a hammerlock. Back up and the arm gets wrapped around the rope, with Knox bailing out to the floor.

A powerslam gets Knox out of trouble and he takes Finlay back inside for the running crotch attack. We hit the chinlock with a knee in Finlay’s back for a good while before Knox drives him into the corner. Knox makes the mistake of going after Hornswoggle though, earning a clothesline to the floor. Back in and Knox boots him down for two and it’s time to go after the shillelagh. The referee takes it away so Hornswoggle throws in another one, which knocks Knox cold for the pin.

Rating: C+. I can appreciate the idea of tying the established feud into the Championship Scramble stuff, as it’s nice to cover two birds with one match. It’s also nice to see Finlay dispatch Knox, who hasn’t exactly done much to make him stand out. Finlay is another guy who makes for an interesting addition to the title match and should be a good final addition to the field.

Finlay and Hornswoggle dance with some kids to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. Definitely a better show than usual here, which is mainly due to everything feeling like it had a point. It’s really dull to see a bunch of filler on a show that only runs for an hour a week so this was at least a lot more focused. The opener is rather good too and that was enough to boost up the rest of the show.

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Smackdown
Date: August 22, 2008
Location: iWireless Arena, Moline, Illinois
Commentators: Jim Ross, Tazz

Summerslam has come and gone and the big story is that Undertaker destroyed Edge inside the Cell, which should get rid of him for a good while. Other than that, HHH dispatched the Great Khali in a match that was better than expected, meaning he’s going to need a new challenger. Let’s get to it.

Here is Summerslam if you need a recap.

We open with a look at the Smackdown matches from Summerslam.

Opening sequence.

Vickie Guerrero welcomes us to the show and says we haven’t been seeing the real her in recent weeks. Everything she has done has been because of Edge, because she corrupted who she was as a person. Now she is free to be her real self with Edge stuck in the same h*** he put her in. She has made some changes, and one of the things she feels the best about is reinstating the Undertaker. Another thing is the Championship Scramble at Unforgiven, which will see five people wrestling for twenty minutes with unlimited falls. Whoever gets the last fall will be WWE Champion. Tonight, we find out the competitors.

Maria vs. Natalya

Natalya fireman’s carries her down without much trouble to start but Maria reverses into a headlock. Back up and they fight over wrist control until Maria snaps off a snappy armdrag. Some kicks to the leg don’t work very well though as Natalya is back with a dragon screw legwhip. Natalya cranks on the leg until Maria fights up and hits some clotheslines. A Bronco Buster gets the fans a bit more interested…and here is Maryse to go after Maria for the DQ.

Rating: C-. This was little more than a few moves going on until the ending, which just kind of happened. Maria feels more and more like the Smackdown version of Kelly Kelly, who is the young, up and coming star who needs a lot more experience. The potential is there, but Maria is going to need some more time before it happens.

Post match the beatdown is on but Michelle McCool comes in for the save.

La Familia runs into the Big Show, who talks to Vickie Guerrero like a child. He’s happy for the Championship Scramble and he’s ready to face anyone in a qualifying match….but Vickie forgot to put him in one.

Championship Scramble Qualifying Match: Battle Royal

Scotty Goldman, Super Crazy, Armando Estrada, Funaki, Brian Kendrick, Curt Hawkins, Brian Kendrick, Jimmy Wang Yang, Vladimir Kozlov, Ryan Braddock

Big Show is sitting at ringside and this is one of the lamest battle royals I’ve ever seen. A bunch of people get together and toss Kozlov before Goldman is sent out as well. Then Show comes in and tosses most of the people, with Ezekiel Jackson saving Brian Kendrick…which is enough for Kendrick to win, as Show threw everyone else out and then stepped over the top (as apparently he was in).

Rating: D+. The match was barely a thing but points for a clever ending. I guess I’ll take this over another one off match with little in the way of drama, but this was more of a joke than anything else. That being said, they got through it quickly and Kendrick being in the title match is more interesting than most options.

Post match Kendrick does a victory dance for a nice touch.

R-Truth talks about how the truth is what you do when people aren’t watching. It’s about respecting who you are and getting better every day to build a better future. He’s been on the bottom but now he’s heading for the top.

Championship Scramble Qualifying Match: MVP vs. Festus

Jesse is here with Festus. Before the match, we hear from MVP at Summerslam, where he promises to win the WWE Title. Festus freaks out at the bell but MVP knocks him into the corner anyway. A suplex sends MVP down for two and a clothesline is good for the same. Festus fall away slams him into the corner, only for MVP to pull him into the post. The logical armbar goes on and MVP cranks away, with Festus finally fighting up.

Some fight hands connect while the left arm is left hanging but the bad arm is sent into the corner again. MVP cranks on the arm again….as we see a sign saying “I Love My Mommy And Grandma.” Well that’s just sweet. Festus fights up again and hits a running elbow, setting up something like a running seated senton. A big boot sends MVP outside, where he kicks Jesse in the face. That’s enough of a distraction for Festus to get counted out. Oddly there’s a delay between the ten count and MVP being declared the winner, with MVP’s music starting before the bell rings, making for a bit of a weird situation.

Rating: C-. It’s kind of odd to go with two fairly screwy endings in a row, especially when it’s a star like MVP against Festus, who is almost a novelty. Obviously it’s the right result, but you would think there would be a better way to go than a bunch of sitting around pulling on Festus’ arm. Pretty dull match here, with MVP being capable of better.

Post match the bell turns Festus off again so MVP boots him out to the floor.

Classic On Demand: Trish Stratus b. Stacy Keibler in a swimsuit contest. Same exact clip from Raw.

Championship Scramble Qualifying Match: Shelton Benjamin vs. Finlay

Non-title and Hornswoggle is here with Finlay. Before the match, Benjamin talks about how being a champion is about being obsessed with gold. He doesn’t like Olympic phenom Michael Phelps being called the new Gold Standard, because there is only one of them. Finlay wastes no time in taking Benjamin down for some face ripping before driving him into the corner.

A headlock grinds Benjamin down a bit so he bails into the corner for a needed breather. Back up and Benjamin tries to go low on Finlay, who takes him out to the floor where a lot of seething can ensue. They go back inside where Finlay can crank on the leg a bit, with Benjamin going to the ropes. A missed charge sends Finlay shoulder first into the post, giving Benjamin a rather nice target. The chinlock with a bodyscissors goes on, followed by one heck of a kick to the back of the head to have Finlay curled up in the corner.

Finlay bails to the floor for a second, where he ties a sliding Benjamin up in the ring skirt for some clubberin. Benjamin knocks him back into the apron though and we take a break. Back with Benjamin working on a neck crank Finlay jawbreaks his way to freedom for two but Benjamin grabs the neck again. Back up again and Benjamin hits a dragon whip, followed by the t-bone to cut Finlay down again for a delayed two. Finlay fights up but here is Mike Knox to go after Hornswoggle, allowing Benjamin to grab Paydirt for the fast pin.

Rating: C. They went pretty long here until the ending, which was more about setting up Knox vs. Finlay in an ECW feud. They could have done the same match in less time and things would have been that much better. Benjamin getting the nod is fine as it isn’t like he’s doing anything important with the US Title.

Post match Knox beats up Finlay a bit more.

We look back at Chris Jericho punching Shawn Michaels’ wife at Summerslam.

La Familia isn’t sure why Undertaker hasn’t arrived yet. Chavo Guerrero thinks he might even be holding a grudge. Maybe Vickie Guerrero should apologize?

Championship Scramble Qualifying Match: Jeff Hardy vs. Great Khali

HHH is on commentary. Hardy slugs away to start but is quickly knocked outside for his efforts. Back in and Khali stomps away before the nerve hold goes on. With Hardy ground down, the tree slam is loaded up (HHH looks nervous) but Hardy goes up to slip out. That earns him a chop out to the floor but Hardy is back in with a Twist of Fate. The Swanton is loaded up but Runjin Singh offers a distraction (Khali was about 80% of the way across the ring so that thing wasn’t coming close anyway). HHH isn’t having this and pulls him down before chairing Khali in the head. The Whisper in the Wind into the Swanton finishes for Hardy.

Rating: C. I’m hoping HHH has to deal with Khali again, as that was quite the heelish move for someone who was just trying to protect his title. Hardy is one of the hottest things in WWE at the moment so he almost had to be in the title match. It also wouldn’t have been the best idea to ask Khali to go for twenty minutes, so there wasn’t much of a choice to be made here.

Post break HHH is in the ring to talk about the challengers coming for the title in the Championship Scramble. The fifth person in that match is a 12 time World Champion and someone who has won everything in every kind of match. Cue Kenny Dkysktra to interrupt because he should be in the match too. The Pedigree lays him out in a hurry, with HHH saying it was good to see him.

Here is La Familia to offer an apology to Undertaker, complete with a standing ovation. Cue Undertaker, with Vickie (eventually) saying she gave Undertaker a chance for revenge on Edge at Summerslam and now she wants a chance to be forgiven. If Undertaker needs more time, they can do this next week and she even gets on her knees to beg him. Undertaker says “look at me woman” because he isn’t here for an apology, but rather Vickie’s soul. The fight is on with Undertaker getting beaten down for a bit, only to fight up and clean house. Undertaker does the throat slit to Vickie to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. I do appreciate a show with a central theme running throughout, but this wasn’t their best effort. The qualifying matches set up a nice field for Unforgiven, but it would have been nice to have them be a bit less dull. The ending with Undertaker hunting Vickie isn’t the most thrilling thing either and feels like something rather simple and not that interesting. This show set up the one match at Unforgiven but it didn’t have me wanting to see anything until then.

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ECW On Sci Fi
Date: August 19, 2008
Location: iWireless Center, Moline, Illinois
Commentators: Todd Grisham, Matt Striker

We’re done with Summerslam and the ECW Title match lasted about a minute, with Mark Henry retaining the title over Matt Hardy via DQ. There almost has to be a rematch as we need something more than that, as if nothing else, there isn’t much going on around here. We still have Finlay vs. Mike Knox which at least has some potential. Let’s get to it.

Here is Summerslam if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of the Summerslam title match, including Jeff Hardy saving Matt Hardy from a post match beating.

Opening sequence.

Miz/John Morrison/Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Tommy Dreamer/Super Crazy/Evan Bourne

Well this is different. For some reason Crazy and Bourne come out together while Dreamer gets his own entrance. Oh right he’s the “star”. Crazy and Morrison start things off with the latter grabbing a headlock and knocking him down. Back up and Crazy kicks the leg out, setting up a standing moonsault and it’s off to Bourne, who gets taken into the wrong corner.

Chavo’s Saito suplex gets two and it’s back to Morrison for a Russian legsweep for the same. Miz puts on a chinlock but Bourne fights up and rolls over to Dreamer for the not so hot tag. House is cleaned and a running bulldog puts Miz down for two. Everything breaks down and Crazy hits a big running flip dive to take out Miz and Morrison. Bourne dives onto everyone else but Miz grabs a neckbreaker to put Dreamer away.

Rating: C+. Not exactly a great match but I’ll absolutely take this as a breath of fresh air around here. It’s so nice to see some fresh pairings and a bit of a different presentation and it worked out well enough. On top of that, Dreamer lost to make things that much more entertaining.

Ricky Ortiz vs. Gavin Spears

This is Spears’ (formerly known as Shawn Spears in OVW) debut and he doesn’t need rally towels to become a star. Ortiz shoulders him down to start but Spears is back up with a wristlock. A neckbreaker gives Spears two but Ortiz fights out of the chinlock without much trouble. Ortiz’s layout powerslam gets two and the middle rope shoulder into the Big O finishes Spears off.

Rating: C. As has been the case, Ortiz just isn’t that good. He has a good look with the big hair and the physique but that’s all he has going for him. Spears was a bit more appealing here as he had something of a serious, sinister nature to him, but this was about Ortiz and his uninteresting style, as it has been for the last month or so.

Here are Finlay and Hornswoggle for a chat. It’s true that he gets in the ring with Hornswoggle and dances around with some kids but Mike Knox doesn’t like it. If Knox has a point to prove, come down here and prove it. Cue Knox to the stage, with Finlay telling him to come to the ring. But no because Knox is going to do this when he wants to. That doesn’t work for Finlay and the fight is on in the aisle. Agents finally manage to break it up.

We look at the Shawn Michaels/Rebecca Michaels/Chris Jericho incident from Summerslam.

We look at the ECW Title match at Summerslam again.

ECW Title: Mark Henry vs. Matt Hardy

Henry, with Tony Atlas, is defending. Hardy slugs away to start but it’s way too early for the Twist of Fate. Instead Hardy sends him face first into the middle buckle and starts going after the knee to take Henry down. The leg is fine enough for Henry to hit a slam, only to miss the big elbow. An enziguri drops Henry, who just runs Hardy over without much effort. Henry misses a charge into the corner though and Hardy hammers away as we take a break.

Back with Henry working on a neck crank, then knocking Hardy down and grabbing it again. Henry powers him into the corner where Atlas gets in a cheap shot, which is perfectly fine with Striker, because Striker is a pest. The bearhug goes on to keep Hardy in trouble before Henry kicks him down for two.

Henry grabs the neck crank again, followed by a gorilla press slam but Henry misses a splash. Hardy’s middle rope elbow to the head staggers Henry and the legdrop gets two. A high crossbody gives Hardy two and the Twist of Fate connects, only for Atlas to pull Hardy out, with the referee somehow not figuring this out. Instead Hardy goes up for the moonsault, which hits raised knees. The World’s Strongest Slam retains the title.

Rating: B-. The interference at the end was a bit much to swallow but it was nice to see the match actually take place. There is a case to be made for a Hardy rematch and that isn’t the worst idea, but for now it’s a good title defense for Henry. Hardy is the biggest name on the show so Henry gets something by beating him and Hardy was protected enough in the process.

Overall Rating: C+. While not a good show, there was a bit more energy this week and I’ll take that over the same stuff we’ve seen time after time. ECW does not have the biggest or deepest roster in the world and there is only so much they can do with what they have. The presentation was better this week and I had a much better time than what I’ve been stuck with around here recently.

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ECW On Sci Fi
Date: August 12, 2008
Location: Scope, Norfolk, Virginia
Commentators: Todd Phillips, Matt Striker

We’re closing in on Summerslam and the ECW Title match between Mark Henry and Matt Hardy. Unfortunately that’s about the only important thing going on around here and that has made for some very dry shows in recent weeks. Hopefully it can change this week as we have Tommy Dreamer vs. Colin Delaney in an Extreme Rules match. Uh, joy. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Commentary hypes up the main event (Matt Hardy/Mark Henry vs. Miz/John Morrison), with Striker saying Summerslam is “less than one work week away”. It’s also less than a normal week away, but Striker has to try to sound smarter than he really is.

Tommy Dreamer vs. Colin Delaney

Extreme Rules. Delaney tries to run away to start but can’t even do that right, meaning Dreamer can catch him in the aisle and hammer away. Dreamer’s punch hits the post though and Delaney sends him into the steps to take over. Delaney’s trashcan lid shot is kendo sticked out of the air and a pumphandle throw with the stick has Delaney in even more trouble. The running dropkick against the trashcan in the Tree of Woe rocks Delaney even more but a middle rope trashcan lid shot only hits mat. Delaney misses a middle rope legdrop though and a DDT onto a stop sign gives Dreamer the pin.

Rating: C. Not much to this one, but that’s kind of the point. Delaney was never presented as any kind of a threat and was little more than a nuisance to Dreamer, who beat him up without much trouble. It’s kind of nice to see them go with the straightforward approach here, as there was no reason to do anything else.

Miz and John Morrison look back at last week’s debut of the Dirt Sheet, and brag about their comedy chops. They’re the Pineapple Express of WWE.

Smackdown Rebound.

Bam Neely vs. Evan Bourne

Neely has a concussion but is ordered to fight at Chavo Guerrero’s (at ringside) insistence. Bourne kicks away in the corner to start but Chavo’s distraction lets Neely knock him to the floor. Back in and a clothesline gives Neely two and we hit the neck crank. Bourne fights up and strikes away, setting up a DDT. Air Bourne finishes Neely off.

Rating: C. Again: Bourne is being treated as something different and it’s working. Just having him win so often is a totally different presentation and it’s helping a lot. There is always room for a high flier with an awesome looking finish and if Bourne can go beyond that, he’ll have quite the bright future.

Tiffany is in Teddy Long’s office when Armando Estrada comes in to have Long sign his new contract. Long signs the contract and says we’re going to celebrate, with Tiffany bringing over some champagne for a toast. Estrada is in action tonight, and it’s up next. Against Finlay.

Finlay vs. Armando Estrada

Hornswoggle is here with Finlay. They fight over a lockup to start until Finlay knocks him down and grabs an early chinlock. Finlay takes him outside for a ram into the apron as Mike Knox comes out to watch. The distraction doesn’t really work as Finlay comes back in to work on an armbar before going after the ribs. Another attempt at the distraction does work though and Estrada drops him onto the rope. Estrada’s chinlock goes on for a bit before Finlay fights up…and it knocked right back into the chinlock. Finlay isn’t having that and hits the Celtic Cross (not Emerald Fusion Striker) for the pin.

Rating: C. Another fairly slow paced match here but that was kind of the point. You’re only going to get so much out of a match from Estrada and this was about setting up more from Knox vs. Finlay anyway. Finlay is getting a nice push around here and he’s certainly better than some of the other options.

Post match Finlay brings a fan in to dance with him for the nice moment.

Ricky Ortiz comes in to see Teddy Long and Tiffany and debuts his new merchandising idea: a rally towel. Long doesn’t quite get it but Ortiz wants Long to pay for 50,000 of them. We’ll see about that if he can prove his worth going forward, including a new Superstar next week. Tiffany likes the towel.

Summerslam rundown.

Matt Hardy and Mark Henry don’t trust each other before the main event.

Mark Henry/Matt Hardy vs. Miz/John Morrison

Tony Atlas is here with Henry and Hardy. The rather annoyed Henry clears the other villains out without much trouble to start and Hardy approves. We take a break and come back with Henry slowly pounding Morrison down as Striker says Miz and Morrison should still be Tag Team Champions because they weren’t pinned in a triple threat title match. Hardy’s running bulldog out of the corner gets two on Miz, who bails out to the floor.

Hardy follows him but gets driven into the steps to let the villains take over. Back in and Morrison hammers on Hardy in the corner, setting up the Russian legsweep for two. Morrison works on the back and ribs as Striker talks about chess and yoga. Hardy gets in a cheap shot and goes up, where he gets caught but hits a middle rope Side Effect….for the delayed pin. Oh something went VERY wrong there as that was either mistimed or Morrison was hurt.

Rating: C. The match was nothing special but I’m curious what happened with the ending. I would bet on Morrison getting hurt as the match just stopped cold and there was nothing to indicate it was planned to go that way. Odds are they didn’t have much time left, but something was absolutely off from what they had planned.

Post match Miz checks on Morrison before Henry kicks Miz to the floor (never touching Morrison). Henry insists his hand is raised and then raises Hardy’s hand. Then gives him the World’s Strongest Slam.

Overall Rating: C+. It’s not a good sign when all four matches have the same middle of the road rating but it oddly made for a better show than we’ve gotten in recent weeks. There was nothing that really stood out, but they’ve done a decent enough job of making me want to see Hardy vs. Henry. Now they still need to make it work, but I’ll take a start over nothing at all.

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ECW On Sci Fi
Date: July 29, 2008
Location: Giant Center, Hershey, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Todd Grisham, Tazz

We have a new broadcast team this week after Mike Adamle was named General Manager of Raw for reasons I don’t quite comprehend. The big story here is that Matt Hardy is the new #1 contender to the ECW Title, but unfortunately that’s about the only story of note on this show. Maybe they can get something else set up this week. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We look back at Matt Hardy winning a four way last week to become the new #1 contender.

Opening sequence.

Tazz introduces Todd Grisham to the broadcast team.

Here is Matt Hardy for a chat. He was excited to be drafted to ECW about a month ago because it felt like a perfect fit, given his history of going to the extreme. Now he has a huge opportunity because he could be ECW Champion…and here is Mark Henry, with Tony Atlas, to interrupt. Atlas talks about how Henry was drafted to ECW as well and now he is the ECW Champion.

But what has Hardy done since he was drafted here? Lose the US Title! For now though, we’ll settle for a demonstration, with Henry bending a steel bar, just like he’ll do to Hardy at Summerslam. Hardy says it’s a wrestling match at Summerslam and unlike the bar, he can fight back. Henry can break his bones but he cannot break his spirit, which is why Hardy will win the ECW Title. This was basically Henry saying he’ll win, Henry showing off his power, and Hardy not caring. I’m going to need more than that.

Ricky Ortiz vs. Chavo Guerrero

Bam Neely is here with Guerrero. They take their time to start until Ortiz powers him down without much effort. A gorilla press plants Guerrero again but he manages to kick Ortiz into the ropes for a needed breather. The reverse chinlock with a knee in the back goes on, followed by a front facelock to keep Ortiz in trouble. Ortiz fights up but gets sent face first into the buckle to cut him off. Guerrero grabs a rollup with his feet on the ropes and Neely helping…but the referee catches them for the DQ.

Rating: C-. It was maybe a bit better than Ortiz’s debut but there is nothing here that makes him stand out in any way. He’s the same generic wrestler with a good set of muscles and a lot of hair, but that’s about it. ECW needs some fresh stars, but this hasn’t exactly made me interested in anything Ortiz is doing.

Post match the beatdown is on until Evan Bourne runs in to…well get a cheap shot on Guerrero and Neely, who chases him off. Ortiz is still down in the ring so Bourne didn’t really accomplish much there.

Colin Delaney comes in to see Mark Henry and Tony Atlas, asking why they left him last week. Atlas says Delaney needs to prove he belongs with them, which he can do tonight….against Matt Hardy.

Miz/John Morrison vs. Finlay/Hornswoggle

Finlay and Miz get things going with the camera making sure to point out the shillelagh on the apron. For some reason Miz decides to charge at Finlay, who grabs him by the face and drops an elbow. The nerve hold doesn’t last long before Finlay drops him with a shoulder for two. We’re already in the chinlock, making me think that they’re on rather different pages for whatever reason.

Morrison comes in for a cravate on Finlay, only to have Hornswoggle come in to trip Morrison down. Everything breaks down and stereo seated sentons send the villains outside as we take a break. Back with Morrison fighting out of a headlock (that’s a weird one) but getting taken right back down for a kick between the shoulders.

We hit the chinlock AGAIN as it’s like they’re allergic to getting going here. Morrison fights up but misses the breakdancing legdrop, allowing Finlay to grab a half crab. That doesn’t last long either as Morrison drives him into the corner, only to get backslided for two. Finlay puts the nerve hold on again as I’m almost in awe of what they’re doing here.

Back up and Finlay hits a clothesline, only to have Miz break up the cover. Finlay goes after Miz and gets posted as we might actually be doing something for a change. Miz comes in for the armbar but Morrison misses a slingshot dropkick. Finlay gets in a suplex for two and Hornswoggle tags himself in. A headscissors is blocked though and Morrison hits a reverse powerbomb for the pin.

Rating: D+. That’s one of the least interesting matches I’ve seen in a long time and I really don’t know what they were doing. Finlay more or less wrestled the match by himself, which makes sense as Hornswoggle can’t do much, but it didn’t need to be that dull. Maybe they were trying to fill in time or something, but Finlay is capable of much better than what we got here. Rather bad stuff.

Post match Miz and Morrison leave, allowing Mike Knox to come in and lay Finlay out.

Matt Hardy vs. Colin Delaney

Mark Henry and Tony Atlas are on the stage despite saying they would be in Delaney’s corner. Delaney gets knocked the corner and suplexed as Hardy doesn’t seem to be having too much trouble to start. A boot in the corner slows Hardy down and a middle rope dropkick actually gives Delaney two. Hardy easily suplexes him back down though and hits the middle rope elbow t othe back of the head. The Side Effect and Twist of Fate finish for Hardy in a hurry.

Post match Atlas and Henry come to the ring, with Henry launching Delaney to the floor. Henry stares Hardy down and then leaves, walking by Delaney to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. This was one of the weaker things I’ve seen from WWE in a long time, as there is just nothing going on here to warrant it being its own show. Atlas summed up the problem with Hardy as the challenger: the only thing he recently did was lose, which isn’t exactly something that makes me want to see what he does next. The rest of the show wasn’t much better, making this pretty horrible.

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ECW On Sci Fi
Date: July 22, 2008
Location: Wachovia Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Tazz, Mike Adamle

We’re done with the Great American Bash and that means we need a new #1 contender to the ECW Title. Mark Henry dispatched Tommy Dreamer to the shock of no one and needs someone else to crush next. There is a chance we find that out here as Summerslam is less than a month away. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here is Teddy Long to present a much bigger ECW Title to Mark Henry. Thank goodness as the one he had looked like a toy. Henry, with Tony Atlas, comes out and is rather pleased with the new belt. Atlas talks about how this is a new ECW in the home of the original. That beautiful new title is something you can all be proud of and it is held by the World’s Strongest Man. If you try to hold onto the past, you will be swept aside, but if you go along with it, you will be fine.

Like Colin Delaney, who joins us in the ring for an explanation of why he betrayed Tommy Dreamer. Delaney wanted to be just like Dreamer, but it just got him beaten up over and over. Then he saw Atlas and Henry and wanted to be like them, so here we are. Delaney calls them his future, but Long says Dreamer is Delaney’s future. As in his immediately future.

Colin Delaney vs. Tommy Dreamer

Delaney hides in the corner to start so Dreamer powers him into and then back out of said corner. They go outside with Delaney getting in a cheap shot but Dreamer runs him over with a clothesline. Dreamer ties him in the Tree Of Woe for a running dropkick, followed by a pumphandle throw. The DDT finishes Delaney in a hurry.

Miz and John Morrison are unhappy with losing their Tag Team Titles but they’re ready to win the fatal four way tonight to crown a new #1 contender to the ECW Title. Well one of them anyway. Morrison: “May the Buddha of luck sit in your corner.”

Jenny McCarthy doesn’t like autism.

Evan Bourne vs. James Curtis

Chavo Guerrero, with Bam Neely, is on commentary. Bourne takes him down with an armbar to start as Chavo brags about his various accomplishments. Curtis makes the rope so Bourne hits a nice dropkick into a hurricanrana for two. Bourne grabs a sanding armbar but a monkey flip is blocked with a grab of the rope. A belly to back suplex gets two and we’re off to the chinlock. Bourne fights up and strikes away, with another hurricanrana setting up the shooting star press to finish Curtis.

Rating: C+. Curtis has been around a few times now and he’s done well in his short appearances, but there is only so much you can get out of a match that doesn’t even last five minutes. Other than that, Bourne continues his ascent as he is slowly becoming a bigger star around here, which is what ECW really needs.

Post match Guerrero and Neely go after Bourne but he gives them the slip.

Finlay is ready to win the four way to get an ECW Title shot. Finlay: “Who needs luck when you’ve got a shillelagh?”

Raw Rebound.

Tiffany talks to Ricky Ortiz about her marketing background when Teddy Long interrupts. Ortiz has been working on some ideas, including a nickname: The Latin Assassin, complete with hand gestures! Long points out the whole “you’ve had one match” issue so next week we’ll double that.

Video on Mike Knox.

Matt Hardy is ready to get back to winning.

Matt Hardy vs. Miz vs. John Morrison vs. Finlay

One fall to a finish for the ECW Title shot at Summerslam. As you might have expected, a mini tag match breaks out, with Miz and Morrison being sent outside rather quickly. Finlay backs Hardy into the corner for some trash talking before Finlay drops him with a left arm clothesline. Miz and Morrison get back in to take over, which is cut off rather quickly. Hardy’s middle rope elbow to the back of the head drops Morrison and a backslide gives Hardy two. Hardy stands alone and we take a break.

Back with Morrison hitting a neckbreaker on Finlay as Miz chokes Hardy on the ropes. Finlay gets back up to go after Miz and Morrison, including an atomic drop and right hand to Miz. Some rollups get two each before Miz sends Hardy into the buckle. Finlay grabs a Fujiwara armbar on Morrison as Hardy suplexes Miz for…no cover as the referee is WAY out of position. With that broken up, Finlay takes over and gets two each on Hardy and Miz, only to get posted by Morrison.

For some reason, Morrison goes after Hornswoggle, earning a toss over the barricade. Miz has to save Morrison and drives Finlay into said barricade as there is a bunch of water on the camera lens. Some double teaming puts Finlay down so Hardy gets the chance to beat up both villains for a change. The double teaming takes Hardy down in the corner though, with a double gutbuster making it even worse.

Posing ensues until Morrison rolls Hardy up for two, meaning it’s time for angry Miz. The argument is on but they go after Hardy instead, only for the Flying Chuck to take Miz out by mistake. Finlay remembers he’s in the match and comes back in with the Regal Roll for two on Hardy.

For some reason Finlay actually goes up for a middle rope dropkick to put Morrison down but Hardy is back up to take everyone out. Finlay is back with the running seated senton to Morrison, with Hardy making the save. Miz’s corner clothesline hits Hardy but goes after Hornswoggle due to reasons of Miz isn’t that smart. Finlay shillelaghs Miz but gets kicked in the head by Morrison. The distraction lets Hardy kick Morrison out of the air and hit the Twist of Fate for the pin and the title shot.

Rating: B-. Good enough stuff here, with Hardy being the best choice for the next challenger. I’m not sure I can imagine Finlay challenging Mark Henry on a major show and that leaves the other two and….no. The match got some time and that made things a bit more interesting as Hardy had to overcome some odds, which went about as well as it could have gone.

Mark Henry comes out for the staredown to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. The main event got some time, but it really did feel like it was just there to fill in a lot of the show. That’s still the biggest problem with ECW: there is very, very little here, as you had three stories in an hour. That isn’t much to go on, and it only worked fairly well here. Not a bad show, but they still need a lot more depth as there is very little to get interested about.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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