Zeb Colter – Same, though he should have been brought back as someone’s manager.  The guy can still talk and has so much knowledge and experience.

Alex Riley – Arguably the biggest name gone but he hasn’t meant anything in years either.  It’s a shame too as he had so much potential after that Miz feud.

There could be more names later today so stick around.

If Rollins was a step up, today is a leap down. Today is Hornswoggle.

Finlay/Little Bastard vs. Boogeyman/Little Boogeyman

Yeah it’s a mixed tag match with midgets. I’ll be calling him Horny here and he’s scared to death so he dives under the ring before the other team gets there. JBL says not to call him Little Bastard as his parents’ names are not Mr. and Mrs. Bastard. We go over Horny’s fear of little people as he hides under the ring. JBL: I don’t know what’s under there. There could be a whole colony of Lilliputians under there. HOLY FORESHADOWING BATMAN!

JBL is cracking me up here. “THAT IS THE RING I LOST THE WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP TO JOHN CENA IN AND NOW THERE’S A LEPRECHAUN UNDER IT!!!” Boogeyman gets a fireman’s carry as this is a handicap match to start. JBL calls Cole a non-heterosexual Barry Horowitz. He keeps making jokes about their names and how absurd they are which is rather true.

Little Boogeyman comes in and gets some fat drops to have Finlay in trouble. And then he eats some worms. Horny finally comes in and rolls up his sleeves to fight. Finlay kicks the midget monster in the head. Little Boogeyman gets a small package on Finlay for two. JBL has no idea what to think. Finlay gets a short arm scissors and Little Boogeyman is tapping but it’s not acknowledged for some reason.

Horny pulls the other midget under the ring but when Finlay goes to find him he finds the regular (and I use that term loosely) Boogeyman. Boogey beats on Finlay and I have no idea what I’m watching. A Rocket Launcher from the Boogies gets two as Horny saves. Big Boogeyman chases him off with worms so Finlay can conk the midget with his club that is way too hard to spell for the pin.

Rating: D-. The match was horrible as I hate midgets, but the commentary here was absolutely hysterical. JBL’s deadpan rants about how stupid this was were so perfect and it worked the whole way. Luckily I think the Little Boogeyman was dropped soon after this. All of that being said, check this out for JBL alone.

Then this happened at Great American Bash 2007.

Cruiserweight Title: Jimmy Wang Yang vs. Chavo Guerrero vs. Shannon Moore vs. Jamie Noble vs. Funaki

It’s a five man match but remember that this is a Cruiserweight Open, as in anyone can get in on this. Chavo is champion coming in. This is the dying days of the title as this was thrown on the card yesterday with no story. They did these kind of matches for probably a year. Hornswoggle is on the floor and hides under the ring. Chavo tries to run but gets thrown outside instead. This is one fall to a finish.

This is one of those matches where you can’t really keep up with anything so the whole thing is pretty all over the place. Chavo comes back in and Cole talks about his Latina wife. Shannon gets two on Chavo but Funaki hits a cross body onto both of them for a combined two. Powerslam gets two for Noble but Chavo breaks it up again. Chavo hooks some freaky rollup on Yang and transitions into a half crab but it gets broken up by Funaki.

Moore slams Funaki into the buckle HARD. Noble vs. Moore now. Make that Noble vs. Funaki. See what I mean about how there’s no point in trying to call this? Funaki gets an enziguri for two on Moore. Gory Bomb to Funaki gets two for the champ. Almost everyone goes to the floor so Yang sets for a dive. Chavo stops it and it’s Tower of Doom time. Noble is down and here’s Horny to come off the top with a Tadpole Splash to win the title.

Rating: C-. Like I said there’s only so much you can do in these. The ending is totally legal when you think about it: he’s certainly small enough and it was an Open so anyone can enter at any time right? This wasn’t anything great but it was very clear that the title was done. And no it wasn’t Horny that killed it. The belt was long since dead.

Around this time, Hornswoggle was revealed to be Vince McMahon’s illegitimate son. Vince being Vince, he decided that his son needed some tough love, including this match from Survivor Series 2007. as well as stripping him of the Cruiserweight Title.

Hornswoggle vs. Great Khali

Runjin Singh, Khali’s manager, says we should have the wrestlers get together for the reading of the rules. This results in Singh talking over the referee as he translates. The fans want Shaq but they get the bell instead. The fans realize Shaq is here and Vince tells him to sit down. Vince tells the fans he doesn’t care what they want. Now there’s a shoot if there’s ever been one. Horny takes off his jacket and hat and kicks Singh in the face. Horny kicks at the legs of Khali…and wisely runs away. Singh runs his mouth some more and gets GREEN MIST IN THE FACE!

Horny dives on Singh and pounds away before hiding from Khali under the ring. The small guy finds that Irish club and calls Khali in but the stick is of course caught. Khali kicks him down but before the Vice Grip can go on, Finlay runs in for the save and face turn. This ran over three minutes but it doesn’t deserve to be rated. At least this did serve a purpose though, so it’s not a total failure. It should have been on Raw though.

Finlay beats up Singh and Khali with the club. It would eventually be revealed that Finlay was Horny’s father, but I’m not quite sure why Vince agreed to the whole thing in storyline.

You know what’s better than one midget character? A BUNCH OF THEM! From January 14, 2008 on Raw.

Mini Royal Rumble

This is a five man match and it’s standard Rumble rules with thirty second intervals. The arena is full of smoke due to JBL’s previous segment. Hornswoggle and Mini Mr. Kennedy start. Kennedy can’t reach the microphone for the pre match bit in a comedy spot. Apparently Hornswoggle is already in the regular Royal Rumble along with Mick Foley. Horny gets sent face first into the middle turnbuckle and Mini Mankind is in third. Kennedy stomps a mudhole in him as the fans are totally out of this.

Mankind is about a foot taller than everyone else but Horny blocks Socko and kicks him out. In a surprising power display, Hornswoggle presses Kennedy over the top rope, leaving him alone to face Mini Batista at #4. The rather chubby Batista hits a spear and does signature stuff but has the Batista Bomb countered. JR sounds miserable on commentary. Mini Kane is number five and is the shortest person in the match so far. He nails uppercuts all around but walks into the spinebuster and Batista Bomb.

Not that it matters as Horny kicks Batista low and dumps him, only for Kane to kind of sit up. A middle rope clothesline drops Horny and Kane sets up a chokeslam. JR: “Imagine the elevation.” Horny just glares at him with a look that says “Really?”. A Celtic Cross puts Kane down and there he goes, leaving Hornswoggle alone. Here comes the real Great Khali at #6, despite it being announced at five people. I smell a McMahon. Mini Batista attacks Hornswoggle from behind but Finlay makes the save with the club to knock Khali to the floor, which I guess counts as an elimination.

Rating: F. Oh just….no.

This whole thing had to lead to this. From February 11, 2008 on Raw.

Hornswoggle vs. Vince McMahon

No DQ. This is a result of Horny biting Vince last week instead of joining his club. Vince shoves him down to start and poses. Horny can’t reach Vince’s hands for a test of strength so Vince gets on his knees and offers a free shot. The arm is pulled back but Horny can’t do it at first.

That only lasts a few seconds until he finally slaps Vince, so the dad takes off his belt for a whipping. Finlay comes out to defend his buddy so Vince threatens to fire him and ruin Finlay’s family. Vince leans down to yell at Hornswoggle about what a coward Finlay is and shoves the litle guy down. Finlay blasts Vince in the head with the club and Horny hits a Tadpole Splash for the pin.

Rating: N/A. This was an angle instead of a match. For the life of me I’m not sure who thought this story was a good idea, but Kennedy getting Wellnessed caused us to have to sit through all this nonsense. Finlay never really got a big push out of it either, which is really kind of surprising.

It would soon be revealed that Finlay was Horny’s father so the two formed a team. Here’s a Tag Team Title shot for them at Night of Champions 2008.

Smackdown Tag Titles: John Morrison/Miz vs. Finlay/Hornswoggle

Please make it short. They already did that didn’t they? Do I need to explain to you why this is a dumb match? And the fans pop for the challengers because that’s what Satan told them to do. The tall guy and the Monday Night Delight start us off. Ross and Foley are a weird pairing on commentary. Horny is listed at 4’4. Why did Vince wonder why we didn’t like the company in 08?

We do get a spot that I haven’t seen before as Morrison jumps over the rope and gets crotched on the ring skirt. I’ve never seen that before. Finlay starts throwing Horny into Miz and Morrison as a projectile. This is a comedy match that forgot the comedy. How weird is it to think that two years later Miz could be a potential MITB winner? I wouldn’t be surprised if he won it. Miz and Morrison were really starting to get good here but wouldn’t hit their stride for a few more months.

Horny comes in and beats up Miz, hitting a Stunner and a bulldog. None of these do anything of course since HE IS TINY. The problem becomes clear here very soon: the heels have to either beat up Horny or have him get the hot tag. Finlay beats up everyone after such a tag and the fans care for some reason. Horny goes up for the splash and Morrison finally realizes how stupid this is and more or less chokeslams him to the mat, ending this annoyance.

Rating: D. I mean seriously, it’s a midget and an old man against a good and young team. Was this really the best option they had? They wanted this to make this a serious match and it just completely failed. It was a hybrid comedy match and mess and just didn’t work. They wanted Horny to be something serious and it just didn’t work so of course they kept going with it forever.

We’ll jump ahead to April 21, 2009 when Hornswoggle was on ECW. This is his final appearance on the show before going to Raw and he said (remember that for later) that he wanted to wrestle. Tyson Kidd objected so here’s the result.

Natalya vs. Hornswoggle

Horny does a Warrior rope shake while Natalya makes fun of him. The test of strength spot annoys Hornswoggle again so he bites her tights and gets two off a spear. Tyson tries to interfere but Finlay cuts him off, allowing Horny to roll Natalya up for a quick pin.

Next up was a long and stupid feud against Chavo Guerrero Jr. where the guests hosts of Raw made one gimmick after another, including Chavo being having his arm tied behind his back or boxing. On July 27, 2009, he was blindfolded.

Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Hornswoggle

A kick by Horny knocks Chavo to the floor and it takes awhile for him to get back in. We get the required cornering the referee spot before Horny gets two off a rollup. The little guy hammers away even more until Chavo pulls the hood up and hits a dropkick. He can’t see for the cover though and the crowd is already annoyed. Horny gets up but lays back down, so Chavo tries a frog splash. Horny goes to the apron, Chavo misses the splash, Tadpole Splash gets the pin. Chavo lost every single match in this feud.

We’ll jump ahead again as Hornswoggle didn’t wrestle full time. Next up is Smackdown, December 10, 2010. Hornswoggle had been named the official mascot of Smackdown and would face Jack Swagger’s mascot, the Swagger Soaring Eagle.

Hornswoggle vs. Soaring Eagle

Rosa comes out with Horny. The Eagle is billed at 6’0 tall and with a wingspan of 5’0. This is so stupid. Please make this be quick. Striker lists off facts about eagles before Horny pulls out a bag of, and I can’t believe I’m saying this, ACME (spelled wrong) birdseed. The eagle (allegedly Chavo) goes for it and gets kicked in the head. Rosa hands Horny a napkin which he tucks into his shirt and bites the Eagle’s leg.

Would anyone be opposed to some fast forwarding here? The Eagle misses Ballin (shoot me now….please) and the Tadpole Splash ends this at 2:28. Cole gets in two good lines at the end though. As Horny goes up for the splash, “GET OUT OF THE WAY! YOU’RE ENDANGERED!” and the second being singing Fly Like An Eagle by the Steve Miller Band, even though the Eagle wasn’t the one flying. Was there ANY point to this?

Another jump of nearly a year brings us to Smackdown, November 29, 2011. It’s the Holiday Special and Horny is in the Make A Wish battle royal, where the winner gets anything he wants.

Battle Royal

There are twenty people in this and I’ll let you figure out who all is in it yourselves. I see Mahal, Slater, the Usos, Jackson, Sheamus, O’Neil, Watson, DiBiase, Hunico, Reks, Gabriel, Kidd and Horny. Sheamus is by far the biggest name in this. Hawkins and Young are in there. Young is out quickly as is I think Jey Uso. JTG is in this and as soon as I say this he’s eliminated. DiBiase and Gabriel try to get Hawkins out but can’t quite do it. Kofi and Yoshi Tatsu are in this and I think that’s everyone.

There goes Hawkins at the hands of Big Zeke. We get the showdown with Jackson and Sheamus with with pale One beating him down. Jackson sets for a big clotheline but Sheamus ducks to put him out. Johnny Curtis was the 20th guy in there and Sheamus puts him out easily. Kofi puts out the other Uso but Kidd dropkicks Kingston out seconds later.

Tatsu is gone and Kidd skins the cat and pulls out DiBiase at the same time. Horny slips out from the floor and pulls Kidd out. We take a break with about 8 people left. Back with eight people left: O’Neil, Hunico, Gabriel, Mahal, Reks, Sheamus, Slater and Horny. Gabriel tries to jump on the apron but Mahal knocks him to the floor. Clash of the Titus puts Reks down but he barks too much and Sheamus puts him out. Dang it I wanted him to wish for NXT to end.

Slater and Mahal jump Sheamus but he explodes and beats everyone down. Everyone goes to the floor through the ropes and beats Sheamus down. No one is in the ring at the moment. Ok so now everyone but Sheamus is in. It’s Mahal, Hunico, Slater and Reks. Mahal says we need to go find Horny. They all pick a side of the ring and dive under the ring. Mahal catches him and it’s 4-1. Slater shoves him down as does Hunico.

They all carefully stomp him but before the toss him Sheamus is back in. There goes Reks and Hucio is out as well. Mahal is out and a Brogue Kick puts Slater down. Ok so it’s Horny vs. Sheamus. Oh good grief. Horny says bring it on and Sheamus isn’t sure what to say. He tells Horny to get out but Horny tells him to get out. He kicks Sheamus in the shins but Sheamus grabs him by the beard and starts putting him out but Horny grabs the top rope. Sheamus gets on the apron and detatches him but Horny won’t get off the apron. Sheamus tries to talk to him and they hug, but Horny shoves him off for the win at 13:25.

Rating: C+. This was fun until the end, when it just got stupid. Why in the world would have put Horny over here for the sake of a comedy bit? Well at least this is for an obscure prize instead of something like a title shot so it could be a lot worse. Ok maybe not a lot worse but it could be worse.

From later in the show.

Ricardo hits on the Bellas at the party as Piper talks to Dusty. They’re talking about Cena and Dusty thinks it’s ridiculous to think the fans are going to get to Cena. Santa comes up and sits down for Horny to ask for his wish. There’s something about celery, Jonas Salk, Peter Falk and chalk. Foley has it wrong and it’s that Horny wants to TALK. They hug and Horny can speak. He goes around using his new powers and calls Vickie a grandma. Foley pops up in a Cactus Jack shirt and Santa is gone. Piper and Dream have no idea what’s going on and I don’t really want the answer.

From Smackdown, April 19, 2013.

Great Khali/Natalya/Hornswoggle vs. Epico/Primo/Rosa Mendes

We actually get a reason for this match: Epico/Primo/Rosa stole Horny’s parking spot earlier and there’s video to prove it. I’ve heard worse. I can’t think of anything off the top of my head but I’ve heard worse. Nattie takes Rosa down to start but can’t hook the Sharpshooter. Rosa comes back with a kick to the back and a chinlock but Natalya fights back with a clothesline. Off to Epico and Khali with the giant hitting some hard chops in the corner. Primo tries to help but gets sent into the same corner as Epico for simultaneous chops. Horny annoys Rosa into a chase and Khali hits the Punjabi Plunge to pin Epico at 3:18.

Rating: D. Rosa was basically in half of a swimsuit and a vest so it doesn’t fail based on that alone. That’s about the extent of the good parts of the match though as none of these are people I care to see. At the end of the day they’re fighting over a parking lot, but how many people can’t get on television? Remarkable.

Hornswoggle would join 3MB in 2014 because COMEDY, leading to a feud with Los Matadores and their mascot El Torito. This set up Wee LC at Extreme Rules 2014.

Pre-Show: El Torito vs. Hornswoggle

This is the WeeLC match which exists for reasons beyond my comprehension and you win by pinfall/submission. There are mini versions of all three commentators, a mini referee and a mini ring announcer. Torito hammers away to start but dives onto the other Band members. Horny can’t manage a dive and Torito pulls out a chair. That’s no good for some reason so it’s off to a mini chair. A headstand in the corner sets up a Bronco Buster and here’s Mahal to interfere.

Torito crotches him on the top rope and sends Horny face first into Mahal’s groin. Horny takes Torito down and we get two sizes of stepladders brought in. Horny goes to the top of the bigger one but gets nervous so Torito lays down for him. Thankfully he moves when Horny tries a splash and we take a break. I really question the need for commercials for events airing on a service that I’ve already purchased to watch the show the commercials are airing on.

Back with 3MB and Los Matadores brawling on the floor. The commentators names: JB Elf, Jerry Smaller and Micro Cole. Torito gets slammed down for two and rolls out to the floor, only to be slammed down. Horny loads up the mini announce table (standing about two feet off the ground) and drops an elbow to drive Torito through. Fans: THIS IS AWESOME! Back inside with 3MB setting up a 6ft ladder and another mini table as Horny hits Torito with the mini chair.

The chair winds up hitting Heath low by mistake, knocking him through some full sized tables on the floor. Torito saves himself from being suplexed through a pile of tables and ladders at ringside as the Matadores make the save. Instead Torito DRIVES ALL THREE GUYS THROUGH THE LADDERS AND CHAIRS! Torito is laid on a full table outside and Drew misses a great looking flip dive for a crash of his own. Back inside and a springboard seated senton through a table gives El Torito the pin at 10:48.

Rating: A+. Do I even need to explain this one? One note: I really hope WWE lets this one be instead of trying to top it over and over again and driving the gimmick into the ground. You had an entertaining match. Be happy with that and maybe have another one down the road, but don’t try to make this something important on Raw every few weeks or it dies in a hurry.

Yeah he’s a comedy guy, but people forget that Hornswoggle can have a good match under the right circumstances. He isn’t a great worker or anything like that, but kids like him and he sells merchandise so there’s nothing wrong with keeping him around. Hornswoggle is reminiscent of Eugene: he’s fine if you don’t take him too seriously but when you put him in a major storyline, people lose interest. Stuff like the WeeLC match was hilarious though and that’s the kind of stuff he’s great at.

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It’s the first show after a pretty uninteresting Monday Night Raw. The main story coming out of it is the reformation of Evolution, who will be feuding with Shield over the coming months. Other than that there really wasn’t all that much as Daniel Bryan was on his honeymoon, leaving us with no match for him at Extreme Rules yet. Kane would be the likely candidate though. Let’s get to it.

Here’s HHH to get things going. He says part of his job is to find new talent that can truly succeed in the WWE. At the top of that list, there is no one higher than the Shield. Ambrose, Rollins and Reigns are three of the most talented guys he’s seen come along in years so he gave them power.

Maybe it was too much though because they tried to see how far that power can take you on your own. When you set out on the journey to find that line in the sand, make sure you don’t cross it. The Shield found that line and on Monday they crossed it. We get a clip from the end of Raw with Evolution taking out the Shield to end the show in a huge beatdown.

HHH told Cole on Wednesday that he was willing to allow Shield to give an apology and put everything behind them. All he got was silence though, save for a response from Roman Reigns. Roman said that soldiers win wars instead of soldiers. That’s a great line for a movie, but it’s not reality. In reality, soldiers are the currency on which empires are bought and sold. The Shield has lost their value and while it hurts HHH to destroy what he created, he’ll do just that at Extreme Rules. In life you adapt or perish, and that’s Evolution.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Big E.

Non-title of course since he never defends the thing. We get an inset interview with Big E. saying he’d love to face anyone. He’s also been in a pop, lock and drop it competition in Tampa. Big E. runs Del Rio over and gets a quick one to start but Alberto fights out of the triple backbreaker. A running enziguri in the corner is good for two on the champion before he charges into Del Rio’s boots in the corner.

Del Rio stomps away but misses a charge into the corner to give Big E. a breather. The announcers talk about past IC Champions as Big E. runs Del Rio over a few more times. Big E. hits a belly to belly into the Warrior Splash, only to have Alberto get his knees up. Back from a break with both guys getting back in the ring but Big E. charging into the post.

A DDT gets two on Big E. but he catches Del Rio diving off the top in a backbreaker. Now the Warrior Splash connects and there go the straps. The Big Ending is countered into a Backstabber for a close two but Big E. blocks the armbreaker and makes the rope. Del Rio won’t break it though and that’s a DQ at 10:00.

Rating: C-. Not a bad match here but why is Big E. not allowed to beat Del Rio? They’ve been going at it for months now with Big E. never getting a clean fall, but for some reason Del Rio’s only interest in the title has been being placed in a tournament. Unless this leads to a big win for Big E. at a PPV, I don’t quite get this one.

Post match Del Rio loads up the superkick but walks into the Big Ending.

Buy the WWE Network!

We look at clips of the Streak ending.

Bo Dallas is coming.

Here’s Heyman in the ring with something to say. He introduces himself as Brock Lesnar’s advocate and reminds all of us that Brock is the 1 in 21-1. If you want to boo something, boo this: Brock Lesnar conquered the streak. Heyman shouts it over and over and over before saying the fans here in Tennessee just don’t get it.

We look at Hornswoggle joining 3MB and squaring off with El Torito on Main Event, setting up their match tonight. Seriously.

Paige vs. Aksana

Non-title again. Before the match, Tamina says she’s taking the title at Extreme Rules. Before the match Aksana insults Paige and says everyone is jealous of her despite Paige just getting lucky. She jumps the champion and there’s the bell, only to have Paige go off on Aksana in the corner. They head outside where Aksana nails a hard clothesline followed by that release spinebuster of hers inside.

She doesn’t cover though and rubs Paige’s face in the mat for two instead. We hit a reverse chinlock for a bit until Aksana needs to crawl around the ring. A running cross body puts Paige down but Aksana can’t follow up either. Paige fights back and hits a running dropkick followed by the scorpion crosslock for the submission at 2:54. Far better match than I was expecting here.

Sheamus is ready for Batista tonight.

El Torito vs. Hornswoggle

The announcers play this as a total joke so let’s get this over with. They shove each other around to start until Torito runs him over a few times, sending Horny to the apron. The leprechaun rocker sends him head first into the middle buckle and drops a bottom rope Banzai Drop. A hard clothesline and splash get two for Horny and we hit the horn lock. Seriously. Horny plays some air guitar and gets rolled up for two. Just end this thing already. Please. Torito comes back with a Gore and Bronco Bustero followed by a top rope moonsault for the pin at 4:33.

Rating: N. For no. Just no.

Alexander Rusev package.

Bad News Barrett rips on the previous match and blames the audience for what we just saw.

Alexander Rusev vs. R-Truth

Truth actually gets in some offense such as a middle rope dropkick but Little Jimmy is caught in midair. The superkick and fall away slam set up the Accolade for the submission for Rusev at 1:40.

Xavier Woods gets beaten up as well post match.

Ultimate Warrior tribute from Raw.

Santino Marella vs. Fandango

Santino does a slow motion kick to the leg for no apparent reason so Fandango hammers him in the head. Fandango misses a charge though and Santino comes back with the usual schtick. Layla steals the Cobra sock so Santino sunset flips Fandango for the pin at 1:34.

Emma high fives the Cobra post match and loses feeling in her arm.

We see Stephanie yelling at Kane on Raw and Kane grabbing the mask again.

Adam Rose vignette.

Sheamus vs. Batista

Batista pulls him to the floor to start and the brawl is on early. Sheamus takes him back inside and cranks on the arm before nailing the ten forearms. A running knee puts Batista on the floor and we take our last break. Back with Batista kicking the steps into Sheamus to take over. More power offense keeps Batista in control and a powerslam gets two. Sheamus throws him to the floor for a breather and sends Batista shoulder first into the post.

A Batista Bomb is broken up and another knee lift rocks the Animal. Ten lame looking forearms to the chest set up the battering ram for two. The Irish Curse gets two but Sheamus can’t hook the Cloverleaf. Batista ducks the Brogue Kick and heads outside before another kick misses inside. Spear gets two on Sheamus but he backdrops out of the Batista Bomb. He goes up top but gets crotched onto the top rope, setting up the Bomb for the pin at 13:46.

Rating: C. Passable power match here but the show was way past saving at this point. Sheamus got to look like an equal out there which is good for him, but he needs something to fire up his character. A heel turn would just put a Band Aid on the problem, but that’s not getting changed in WWE at the moment. Batista was his usual self here.

Overall Rating: D-. I understand that most of the roster was on the overseas tour this week, but this was not acceptable. We got a freaking midget match plus more matches we’ve already seen before, with one getting any significant TV time at all. This is a good example of bad management as you could have left a home team back here to keep this from being a worthless TV show. Absolutely awful tonight with nothing of note at all.

Results
Big E. b. Alberto Del Rio via DQ when Del Rio wouldn’t break the cross armbreaker
Paige b. Aksana – Scorpion crosslock
El Torito b. Hornswoggle – Moonsault
Alexander Rusev b. R-Truth – Accolade
Santino Marella b. Fandango – Sunset flip
Batista b. Sheamus – Batista Bomb

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As in you air matches with the wrestlers offering their own commentary on them like a director’s commentary on a DVD.  I’ve seen a few of these before and they’re rather interesting at times.

2. Coliseum Video.

For you younguns, Coliseum Video was the official home video distributor for the WWF back in the 90s.  They had a ton of tapes with some great stuff hidden in there, ranging from Smack Em Whack Em (BRet vs. Flair for the title and the first ladder match) to a 20 volume series called Best of the WWF to a 5 volume Hulk Hogan series, the third of which is as good of a home video as they ever released.

3. ECW specials.

Before they were on PPV, ECW’s big market was in home video with specials.  I’m not a fan, but a lot of those are hard to find and have some of their bigger moments included.  Throw that stuff out there.

4. Compilations you won’t see anywhere else.

Remember the Best of Braden Walker DVD ad?  Actually do stuff like that.  Throw out a Best of Curt Hawkins show or The Life and Times of Hornswoggle.  Be creative and over the top with it to the point that it’s fun.

Thoughts/wish list?

This is a special edition of the show as it’s airing live on Tuesday. Also it’s the holiday episode, which I think is a catch all for Thanksgiving and Christmas, which is next month but whatever. Foley is the host for the evening and we have a world title match in a cage with Henry vs. Bryan. Let’s get to it.

The show opens with fake snow and Josh saying there was a snow storm that started a few seconds ago.

Here’s Foley. There’s a Christmas set. Aren’t they pulling this out a little early? I mean we have Christmas music, Foley in a Santa suit, Christmas lights at the table and all that jazz. He points out that it’s still November but he’s a Christmas fanatic. What Good Old JR is to barbecue sauce and what the Ultimate Warrior is to arm tassels, he is to Christmas. For us tonight, we have a world title match between Tiny Tim and the Ghost of Christmas Fear inside a steel cage. There’s also a miracle on 34th street fight, an over the top rope battle royal where the winner gets their Christmas wish granted…and Michael Cole.

Foley can’t get around the contract and Cole’s legal team, but he can pick how Cole has to dress. Cue Cole in a Rudolph costume. Josh is in an elf outfit so he can’t complain much. Foley also brings out Booker, who is also in a Santa outfit. Foley asks for a Spinarooni to make up for This is your Life from a few weeks ago. It’s set to the Dradle Song because they both spin. The hat comes off but the fans cheer for it so all is well.

Cue Cody all in white. Well mostly in white. He says that he’s seeing clearly now and says that he’s not going to let someone take up the time when that person can’t perform in the ring anymore. Booker says he can still go and calls Cody son. Foley cuts Cody off and makes Booker vs. Cody for later. No word on if this is for the title or not. First up, let’s have a Divas match.

Alicia Fox vs. Brie Bella vs. Nikki Bella vs. Natalya vs. Kaitlyn vs. AJ vs. Tamina vs. Aksana

This is a mistletoe on a pole match, which means you have to climb up and get the mistletoe. The winner gets something they can cash in before Christmas. Brie wins at 57 seconds after climbing on Nikki. I have no idea if I got all the competitors or not, not do I care.

Foley says Brie gets to kiss any superstar she wants before Christmas. Ok then.

Justin Gabriel vs. Jinder Mahal

Mahal runs down Christmas before the show starts. We hear about how Mahal has hates DiBiase for giving away all his money. Cue DiBiase in a Santa hat with a bag. He throws out WWE gifts to fans. The distraction lets Gabriel hit an STO and the 450 for the pin at 2:15.

Foley is learning the Siva Tao from the Usos when Piper comes up. He wants a new straightjacket for Christmas. Horny and some good looking woman are having egg nog. Dusty Rhodes is here. He offers Horny a picture of Lagy Gaga and something about sandwich. Dusty says there are some strange people here and turns around into Goldust. There’s something awesome about that. Oh the chick is Maxine.

Piper is talking to someone when Otunga comes up with the coffee cup and has an announcement from Johnny Ace. The holiday music has to be in the public domain. Eh we might as well shut the party down now. Foley and Piper are like dude…..you are in WAY over your head. Foley puts Otunga in the street fight tonight against Randy Orton.

We recap Booker vs. Cody. Booker is in the back when Cody jumps him with the belt, injuring his arm.

Kofi Kingston vs. Tyson Kidd

This should be good. Booker vs. Cody is officially off. Tyson has hair now. They start off pretty fast and both guys go down off a double clothesline. Kidd hits the floor to avoid Trouble in Paradise but Kofi hits a dropkick out there anyway. Kofi gets in Cole’s face for some reason and steals the reindeer hat. Kidd gets in a shot and somehow this isn’t a double countout yet. Kofi puts the hat and nose on, finishing with the top rope cross body at 3:33.

Rating: C. Total comedy match and that’s fine. The idea of the reindeer flying to end it was good but we need to get Bourne back already so Kofi can defend the title instead of just holding it. I think he’s due back tomorrow or something so it shouldn’t be that big of a deal. Decent match but with more time it would have been even better.

Kaitlyn tells Horny he should wish to be taller. Teddy and Sheamus are talking and Sheamus asks what the winner of the battle royal (20 man) gets. Teddy doesn’t know but whatever it is, it’ll be worth it. Cue Aksana who has mistletoe with her. And Aksana eats it instead of kissing Teddy.

Randy Orton vs. David Otunga

This is a street fight. There are a bunch of Christmas trees at ringside as well as presents that slide around the floor. Otunga is in red shorts now instead of his normal trunks. Randy throws him into a bunch of trees and then the announce table. There’s a tray of cookies there so Orton has a bite, gives a face as if to say not bad, then smacks Otunga with the tray.

He grabs a wreath off the post, shouts HO HO HO in Otunga’s face (legit made me laugh) and sends him into the steps. Otunga goes under the ring and finds a kendo stick made to look like a candy cane. Orton takes him down though and beats Otunga with it as Otunga runs. Orton picks up a present and chucks it at David’s head to knock him down.

They go up the stage and Otunga goes into the big tree. There’s an elevated DDT to the floor but Barrett runs out for the beatdown. It would have helped a lot had Orton not looked over his shoulder just before the DDT. The big boot he takes Orton down with gets two and Otunga’s time is measured in seconds. There’s the finishing sequence and the RKO ends this at 7:38.

Rating: C+. This was meant to be a totally fun match and that’s all it was ever supposed to be. Barrett running in even advances the storyline a bit and it helped things somewhat. I had a very good time with this but I’m a total Christmas geek so I’m about as biased as you can be here. Fun match and it worked all around.

Henry is getting taped up and Teddy comes in. Mark yells at him and says he’ll take his anger out on Bryan.

Battle Royal

There are twenty people in this and I’ll let you figure out who all is in it yourselves. I see Mahal, Slater, the Usos, Jackson, Sheamus, O’Neil, Watson, DiBiase, Hunico, Reks, Gabriel, Kidd and Horny. Sheamus is by far the biggest name in this. Hawkins and Young are in there. Young is out quickly as is I think Jey Uso. JTG is in this and as soon as I say this he’s eliminated. DiBiase and Gabriel try to get Hawkins out but can’t quite do it. Kofi and Yoshi Tatsu are in this and I think that’s everyone.

There goes Hawkins at the hands of Big Zeke. We get the showdown with Jackson and Sheamus with with pale One beating him down. Jackson sets for a big clotheline but Sheamus ducks to put him out. Johnny Curtis was the 20th guy in there and Sheamus puts him out easily. Kofi puts out the other Uso but Kidd dropkicks Kingston out seconds later.

Tatsu is gone and Kidd skins the cat and pulls out DiBiase at the same time. Horny slips out from the floor and pulls Kidd out. We take a break with about 8 people left. Back with eight people left: O’Neil, Hunico, Gabriel, Mahal, Reks, Sheamus, Slater and Horny. Gabriel tries to jump on the apron but Mahal knocks him to the floor. Clash of the Titus puts Reks down but he barks too much and Sheamus puts him out. Dang it I wanted him to wish for NXT to end.

Slater and Mahal jump Sheamus but he explodes and beats everyone down. Everyone goes to the floor through the ropes and beats Sheamus down. No one is in the ring at the moment. Ok so now everyone but Sheamus is in. It’s Mahal, Hunico, Slater and Reks. Mahal says we need to go find Horny. They all pick a side of the ring and dive under the ring. Mahal catches him and it’s 4-1. Slater shoves him down as does Hunico.

They all carefully stomp him but before the toss him Sheamus is back in. There goes Reks and Hucio is out as well. Mahal is out and a Brogue Kick puts Slater down. Ok so it’s Horny vs. Sheamus. Oh good grief. Horny says bring it on and Sheamus isn’t sure what to say. He tells Horny to get out but Horny tells him to get out. He kicks Sheamus in the shins but Sheamus grabs him by the beard and starts putting him out but Horny grabs the top rope. Sheamus gets on the apron and detatches him but Horny won’t get off the apron. Sheamus tries to talk to him and they hug, but Horny shoves him off for the win at 13:25.

Rating: C+. This was fun until the end, when it just got stupid. Why in the world would have put Horny over here for the sake of a comedy bit? Well at least this is for an obscure prize instead of something like a title shot so it could be a lot worse. Ok maybe not a lot worse but it could be worse.

Sheamus teases anger but smiles and Horny celebrates.

Ricardo hits on the Bellas at the party as Piper talks to Dusty. They’re talking about Cena and Dusty thinks it’s ridiculous to think the fans are going to get to Cena. Santa comes up and sits down for Horny to ask for his wish. There’s something about celery, Jonas Salk, Peter Falk and chalk. Foley has it wrong and it’s that Horny wants to TALK. They hug and Horny can speak. He goes around using his new powers and calls Vickie a grandma. Foley pops up in a Cactus Jack shirt and Santa is gone. Piper and Dream have no idea what’s going on and I don’t really want the answer.

AJ comes up to wish Bryan luck. Bryan tells Striker he’s ready.

The cage is lowered.

The Slammys are in two weeks.

Smackdown World Title: Mark Henry vs. Daniel Bryan

We even get big match intros. The winner gets Big Show at TLC. Bryan runs for the corner almost immediately. You can win by pin, submission or escape. Bryan keeps trying to run and avoid corners. He wisely goes for the bad leg so Henry throws him into the cage. He splashes Bryan against the wall and we take a break. Back with Henry still dominating. We get a clip from during the break with Henry pulling Bryan back and in essence sling shotting him into the cage.

Time for a nerve hold to waste some time. Bryan fires off a dropkick but Henry kills him with a clothesline. The leg is wearing out though as he kind of falls into the cover for two. Bryan wakes up and goes crazy on the ankle, getting Henry down on the mat and screaming in pain. Bryan climbs but Henry makes the catch, crotching Bryan on the ropes. Henry goes for the door but Bryan grabs the ankle again. Bryan fires off a dropkick to the knee and hooks the LeBell Lock but Henry powers out of it.

Off to an ankle lock and the place is really getting into this. Henry kicks Bryan off but he can’t get up to follow up on it. The challenger goes up but gets his tights partially pulled down. Now Henry goes up but Bryan follows him. He gets over the top but Henry grabs the arm and pulls him back in. There’s some good drama in this. Henry tries a powerbomb out of the corner but Bryan climbs over the top. Henry pulls him back in again and headbutts him into the World’s Strongest Slam from the top. And that takes care of Bryan at 11:15.

Rating: B. Good main event here and the drama towards the end was solid. I don’t think anyone had any realistic reason to believe that Bryan was going to win and they shouldn’t have. He’s a midcard guy getting his first chance in there with the big boys and he’s not ready for the title yet. Still though, very solid main event and Henry gets a win that he’s been lacking recently.

Overall Rating: A-. WWE is on a ROLL right now with their TV shows. Last night was great and tonight was as well. The idea that seems to work for them is to not linger on stuff too long and most importantly, not go back to things over and over again. This show was fine with all of its holiday themes and I liked it a lot. It could have been better, but if they were hoping to show that Smackdown can work live, they nailed it here. Good stuff again.

Results
Brie Bella won a Mistletoe On A Pole Match
Justin Gabriel b. Jinder Mahal – 450 Splash
Kofi Kingston b. Tyson Kidd – Top Rope Cross Body
Randy Orton b. David Otunga – RKO
Hornswoggle won a battle royal last eliminating Sheamus
Mark Henry b. Daniel Bryan – World’s Strongest Slam from the middle rope

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We have an actual changed show this week as we’ve got a bunch of people gone from the show after the great NXT purge last week. I’m not sure what to expect this week but it should be interesting to see who they bring in to replace the guys that have left. Either way it’s a good thing to get some fresh blood in here. Let’s get to it.

Striker is in the ring and says that Josh isn’t able to do commentary tonight because of the beating that Lesnar gave him on Monday. He recaps the firings and hirings of Young/O’Neil, which gets limited responses. That means there are some roster spots open and Regal is going to bring in some new talent. He’s out looking for that talent at the moment, so tonight Horny is the match coordinator. Oh good grief.

He says there are no more redemption points or challenges (duh) and brags about how he can talk. Hasn’t he been able to do that for the last six months or so? Tonight it’s Watson/Kidd vs. Curtis/McGillicutty. First of all though, he calls out Derrick Bateman. Wasn’t that his rookie like 6 months ago? Bateman says something to Horny from the aisle but JTG jumps him. Oh great he’s back. He complains about being off the show and that he has to beg Horny for a match. Bateman jumps him so here we go.

JTG vs. Derrick Bateman

Bateman immediately dropkicks him down and takes over. Clothesline takes JTG down as Horny says Bateman will be on Raw or Smackdown very soon. Out to the floor but Bateman misses a missile dropkick from the apron. JTG takes over back in the ring and hooks a chinlock. The video messes up now but the audio is still good.

JTG gets two off something as Horny is talking about Brodus while Striker corrects his English. The video is back now as Bateman rams JTG into the corner and starts his comeback. JTG speeds around behind him though and hits Jay Lethal’s belly to back suplex into a neckbreaker which is awesome. It only gets two and Bateman hits his falling bulldog for the quick pin at 4:42.

Rating: D+. I’m not wild on either of these guys but JTG getting his head smacked against a mat is always a good thing. I really hope he’s not going to be one of the main heels on this show now but for a one off appearance he’s a breath of bad air after the weeks of Young boring me to death.

Horny leaves commentary. I think there’s going to be someone different with Striker every match.

Maxine and Bateman arrive and a referee handcuffs them together as per Regal’s orders. Maxine tries to flirt her way out of it but it doesn’t work. Horny comes up and laughs at them. There’s a Divas tag later.

A shortened version of Brock/Ace/Cena from Monday is shown.

Watson comes up to Kidd to talk about their match later and Kidd says he hopes Watson isn’t another victim of Kidd’s bad luch with tag teams. Kaitlyn comes up and asks for the name of the new submission hold he used on McGillicutty. He says he’s going to let the fans pick when Natalya comes up and gets in her face about flirting with Tyson. The girls leave and the guys make fun of them but it’s nothing harsh.

Maxine has managed to change her clothes while being handcuffed. Natalya comes up and asks about the tag match which they agree to work together for. Curtis has to go with them.

Natalya/Maxine vs. Tamina Snuka/Kaitlyn

We get a video comparing Tamina to her dad. This is an insult to Jimmy. Kaitlyn and Tamina hit dropkicks at the same time to start the match. We have Natalya vs. Kaitlyn to officially get things going. Natalya throws her around to start and hooks a quick stretch which Curtis can’t explain the pain behind. Kaitlyn comes back with a bad looking cross body which gets two.

Off to maxine who hooks a front chancery with a body scissors. Striker gives a quick explanation of how the move works which Curtis can’t do or doesn’t know. Natalya comes in to break up a tag and hooks a leg lock. Kaitlyn knocks her off and it’s a double tag to Tamina and Maxine. The Samoan destroys her and the Superfly gets the splash at 4:40.

Rating: D+. Another dull match here and that splash really isn’t anything special at all. It’s just a top rope splash rather than a top rope splash that looks awesome, which is what Jimmy’s was. Kaitlyn continues to be all looks and little skill in the ring, but that could apply to almost all of the Divas.

Striker says Maxine has to stay here because Curtis has a match.

Kidd finds Watson in the back holding his knee. He thinks it was Michael McGillicutty.

Johnny Curtis/Michael McGillicutty vs. Tyson Kidd/???

McGillicutty is a surprise partner apparently. Ok then. I could have sworn they announced that earlier but whatever. Horny throws out McGillicutty so it’s a one on one match.

Tyson Kidd vs. Johnny Curtis

Maxine is at the table but doesn’t have a headset. McGillicutty hits on her as Curtis has to keep moving to avoid the technical skill of Kidd. He gets in a shot on Kidd’s arm to take over but Kidd speeds things up, sending Curtis to the floor. Tyson hits a sweet rana off the apron to send Curtis to the floor and we take a break. Back with Curtis putting on an armbar to keep Tyson on the mat.

During the break Kidd’s springboard elbow hit Curtis’ knee to set up the arm work. McGillicutty is quoting country songs for some reason. The arm work continues and the announcers talk about Cena vs. Lesnar to fill time. Kidd comes back with some kicks but goes up and is caught in a superplex for two. Kidd goes up again and hits a Blockbuster for two. I’ve always been a fan of that move. Sharpshooter is countered into a wheelbarrow suplex by Curtis for two. Guillotine legdrop misses and the Hart Lock (which is the name from FCW from what I can tell) gets the submission at 10:23.

Rating: B-. Good match but not a great one. Kidd is one of those guys that can go out there and have a good match with anyone it seems, even someone like Johnny Curtis who is hardly the most interesting person in the world. I’m hoping one of these changes that’s coming in NXT is a singles title for him to compete for.

Overall Rating: C. This show is kind of a placeholder until Regal can come back and bring in some new talent with him. That’s fine as the show wasn’t horrible or anything, but the wrestling wasn’t much to see. Still though, it’s so nice to have some fresh blood coming soon on this show and that’s a rare thing on Wednesdays.

Results
Derrick Bateman b. JTG – Falling Bulldog
Tamina Snuka/Kaitlyn b. Maxine/Natalya – Superfly Splash to Maxine
Tyson Kidd b. Johnny Curtis – Hart Lock

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