Survivor Series 2007
Date: November 18, 2007
Location: American Airlines Arena, Miami, Florida
Attendance: 12,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross, Tazz, Joey Styles

This is one of those shows where there’s a little bit of something good and a little bit of something bad. First the bad: there’s Hornswoggle vs. Great Khali. The good though is Batista vs. the Undertaker inside the Cell, which almost has to be almost has to be good. Other than that the card looks fine and we’ve got Shawn in a world title match which is almost guaranteed to be at least decent. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about how this started twenty years ago, as you would expect it to. It also talks about the main event matches tonight, as you would expect it to as well.

ECW Title: CM Punk vs. John Morrison vs. The Miz

Punk is defending and Miz and Morrison are tag champions. The tag champions of course jump at the same time because one on one, neither have a chance to beat Punk. Punk kicks the tar out of Miz’s head and gets a quick two on Morrison. Both tag champions are sent to the floor where Punk takes both of them out with a suicide dive. Back in and Punk gets caught in a double suplex after the springboard clothesline fails.

Miz and Morrison double team Punk but Miz is the first of the heels to go extra heel, dumping Morrison out to the floor. He hooks a chinlock on Punk but has to let go to knock Morrison back to the outside. Punk kicks Miz in the head but Morrison comes back in with a backbreaker to the champ (as in the ECW Champ) followed by a cobra clutch (called a Japanese sleeper by Joey Styles because he likes to sound smarter than he actually is).

Miz pulls Punk to the floor and rams him into the concrete to get us down to the tag champions fighting. Morrison sends him into the corner chest first and hits the yet to be named Starship Pain for two. Punk comes back in and ranas Morrison off the top into a powerbomb from Miz in a SWEET looking move. That only gets two but it got a BIG reaction from the crowd.

With Morrison pretty much dead, Punk kicks Miz in the face for two and hits the knee/bulldog combo for the same. Punk hits a backbreaker on Miz but Morrison grabs a rollup and trunks on the champ for two. Morrison escapes the GTS but gets knocked to the floor, allowing Punk to hit the GTS on Miz for the pin to retain.

Rating: C. Other than that rana/powerbomb spot, this was only ok. Punk had to carry the whole thing, but you could see something special in Miz. It’s a little easier to see it now, but a buddy of mine said that he thought Miz would be the bigger deal because of this match. I’m not sure if I’d agree based on this match, but Miz did indeed look better than Morrison here. This was a pretty good choice for an opener, but the execution wasn’t great because Punk didn’t have enough to work with.

We recap MVP turning on Matt Hardy and taking out his knee. They had been partners for awhile before this but everyone thought MVP was evil the whole time, and this was the not very shocking turn.

MVP says that Matt won’t be competing tonight because he needs crutches to get by. That doesn’t surprise MVP, because Matt has always needed a crutch, be it either Jeff or MVP. Oh and he’s better than Matt.

Mickie James/Maria/Torrie Wilson/Michelle McCool/Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix/Melina/Jillian Hall/Victoria/Layla

One fall to a finish here and Beth is Women’s Champion. The Divas Title doesn’t exist yet which is how things should have stayed. Layla is WAY hotter being evil and Melina has some gorgeous hair. She also falls off the apron during her splits entrance which is worth a chuckle. The second attempt works and thankfully she’s smiling after screwing it up. Mickie and Maria are ridiculously good looking as well.

Victoria and Michelle start things off with Michelle taking over with a headlock. A big boot puts Victoria (Tara in TNA if you’re new at this) down and it’s off to Torrie who can’t wrestle a watchable match to save her life. Victoria kills her mostly dead with a side slam and it’s off to Layla who is so bad here that she can’t even beat up torrie. Kelly and Jillian come in and Jillian tries to scream a bit, only to get rolled up for two. Maria comes in, basically wearing a bikini.

Thankfully Beth comes in to flatten Maria before handing it right back to Layla. Actually make that Melina, who misses a charge at Maria and crotches herself, allowing for the hot tag to Mickie. James beats up everyone in sight, has her partners take out Beth, and hits the Long Kiss Goodnight on Melina for the pin. What’s the Long Kiss Goodnight you ask? That would be every 13 year old’s dream: Mickie literally bends Melina back and kisses her before kicking her in the head for the pin.

Rating: D. Yes, the match sucked. Yes, most of the women in this are horrible wrestlers. Yes, if you’re complaining about these things, you’re missing the point. This was pure fan service as you had ten girls in either tight or barely there outfits and one hot woman kissing another hot woman before kicking her in the head. If you’re looking for a wrestling match here, you’re in the wrong place.

Coach and Regal are in the back looking smug. Hornswoggle, who is Vince’s son at this point, is pacing very nervously. Remember that he faces Khali tonight.

Orton says history isn’t going to be made tonight. He’s going to beat Shawn because if Shawn uses the superkick, Shawn loses the match.

Shawn is here for revenge tonight because Orton has tried to hurt him and take his livelihood. Therefore tonight, Shawn is going to take the title.

Raw Tag Titles: Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch vs. Hardcore Holly/Cody Rhodes

Cade and Murdoch are defending. Rhodes is brand new at this point and spent weeks getting beaten up by Holly before Holly respected him enough to team with him. Cody and Cade start things off with the rookie getting hiptossed down. The crowd pretty much died as soon as the bell rang, which should tell you about the tag team situation at the time as these are the best Raw had for their belts.

Off to the very redneck Trevor Murdoch who chops away but gets caught in a headlock. Yeah Cody didn’t quite get anywhere as a worker for awhile. Holly comes in and is immediately beaten down by Cade. The crowd is reacting a bit so it’s not totally dead but it’s nothing special. The heels are sent into each other and fall out to the floor as Holly takes over. We actually get a HOLLY chant for the only time I can ever remember.

A rollup gets two for Hardcore and it’s off to Murdoch via a blind tag. Holly gets his head kicked off and things slow back down again. The champs tag in and out a lot before Cade picks up Murdoch to drop him down with a legdrop for two. We hit the chinlock on Holly which goes nowhere so Holly suplexes Trevor down. Cade misses an elbow drop but Holly still can’t tag out.

Cade tries that dropping Murdoch into a legdrop move again but as almost always is the case, it doesn’t work this time. Warm tag brings in Cody who hits a missile dropkick on Lance for two. Holly and Cade fall to the floor and Murdoch hits the stupid cousin of a Canadian Destroyer (much more like a sunset flip than a piledriver) to retain.

Rating: C-. Another so-so match here but at the end of the day, it’s Hardcore Holly and a rookie Cody Rhodes vs. Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch. That’s only going to take you so far as the fans aren’t going to care about it for the most part. I don’t get why they didn’t change the titles here as Holly and Rhodes would get the belts in a month (and hold them for SIX MONTHS) anyway.

The announcers explain the concept of a Survivor Series match to the uninitiated. That’s something you hardly ever see anymore: a basic explanation of WHAT IS GOING ON. Sometimes you need to slow things down a bit and tell people what’s going on. If you’re flipping through the channels and see something flashy like wrestling, you’re likely to stop but if you have no idea what’s going on, you’re not likely to stay. Gorilla Monsoon was a master at doing this.

Team HHH isn’t worried about being down 5-4 coming into the match (Matt was hurt remember) but Kane says he isn’t an underdog. We recap the Katie Vick angle (HHH: “Uh…..yeah sorry about that.) and Jeff reminds HHH that he put him in the hospital. HHH is sorry about that too and says tonight they can unite in the idea of doing something terrible to someone else.

Team HHH vs. Team Umaga

HHH, Kane, Jeff Hardy, Rey Mysterio

Umaga, Mr. Kennedy, MVP, Finlay, Big Daddy V

Kennedy’s mic doesn’t work for the live intro at first so we can only hear the ending. Jeff is IC Champion and MVP is US Champion. Remember that we’re starting at 5-4 because Matt is gone. Rey and Kennedy get things going with Kennedy using a rare power advantage to take over. Kennedy pounds in the corner but gets caught in a sunset bomb before it’s off to Jeff for a BIG pop. Rey and Jeff combine for some Poetry in Motion and Kennedy is in trouble.

Scratch that trouble as Jeff runs into an elbow (JBL: “That’ll knock the purple out of your hair!”) and it’s off to MVP. MVP limps a bit which apparently is a fake injury or something. Or maybe he’s making fun of Matt Hardy. I never cared for MVP so I really don’t care. Off to the 550lb Big Daddy V who uses his big fat man offense on Jeff, before stupidly throwing Jeff to the corner for a tag to Kane.

V almost immediately belly to belly suplexes Kane down for two but Kane comes back with some clotheslines in the corner. A top rope clothesline puts V down again but Kane has to chokeslam Finlay. V hits a Samoan Drop and a big elbow on Kane for the upset (yeah it’s an upset) elimination. HHH comes in and hits the facebuster on the monster but gets caught by a clothesline to shift the momentum right back.

We get the match that everyone is looking forward to in HHH vs. Umaga and the fans don’t react at all. Umaga takes the Game down with a belly to belly of his own and a headbutt has HHH in trouble. Umaga misses a middle rope headbutt and there’s the hot tag to Rey. Rey pounds away but almost immediately gets knocked down by the other monster. Mysterio goes after the leg but a rana is just a bad idea. Actually it is as he swings Umaga into the 619, followed by a springboard seated senton for two. Umaga is like BIG SAMOAN SCREAM and hits a spinning release Rock Bottom and the Spike to eliminate Rey.

So it’s all five villains vs. Jeff and HHH, and it’s not that the two superheroes are likely to run through all five and win or anything like that of course. Jeff vs. Kennedy starts things off and Hardy is in trouble quickly. I don’t think Jeff really gets going until he looks like he’s been thrown out of a building though. Jeff comes back with a dropkick but the slingshot dropkick in the corner misses due to an MVP assist. Cole talks about how that’s the second time MVP has caused that move to miss in three days. JBL: “Maybe MVP is just smarter than the Hardys.” I love it when JBL cuts Cole off at the knees. No one does it better.

Off to MVP who hooks a chinlock on Jeff which goes on for awhile. Jeff fights up but gets gets caught in a fireman’s carry drop. MVP starts talking trash to the fans and walks into a Twist of Fate to make it 4-2. Kennedy is in next and walks into an enziguri, which allows for the tag off to HHH. A high knee sets up a clothesline for two for HHH followed by a spinebsuter. HHH sees the human whale known as Big Daddy V coming and avoids an elbow which crushes Kennedy and allows HHH to make it 3-2.

V gets both superheroes on the floor and crushes Hardy against the post which probably put Jeff on the harder stuff for a few days. What the harder stuff for Jeff is I’m not sure but it has to be illegal. Back in the ring HHH and Hardy avoid a charge in the corner and hit a double DDT on V for the elimination. I’ve always wondered how basic moves when a monster is fresh is enough to eliminate them. These guys have no stamina at all.

It’s HHH/Jeff vs. Finlay/Umaga if you’re keeping track. Finaly comes in and pounds away on HHH while JBL talks about how great Finlay is. Does anyone ever have a bad thing to say about this guy? Here’s something bad to say about him: he does the stupidest looking spot in wrestling where he goes the middle rope and jumps into a boot in a move that is only designed for him to jump into a boot.

Hot tag brings in Jeff for a hard (and appropriate) Irish whip into the corner and the slingshot dropkick for two. Jeff goes to the apron and is immediately drilled by Umaga to give the evil foreigners control again. Finlay whips Jeff into the corner but gets caught by a Whisper in the Wind. A mule kick staggers Umaga and there’s the hot tag to HHH to meet Finlay. The high knee puts Finlay down and there’s a spinebuster to follow it up.

The Pedigree is loaded up but Umaga kicks HHH’s head off (there must be a great surgeon in WWE for all the times that happens) to break it up. The Celtic Cross (White Noise. It’s an Irish thing) is escaped and there’s the Pedigree to make it 2-1. Umaga DESTROYS HHH in the corner but the running attack misses by a mile. Pedigree, Swanton, we’re done.

Rating: B-. The match was pretty fun stuff but once we got down to 5-2, it was a matter of guessing what order the five were going out in rather than who was going to win. That being said, it’s probably the right move as HHH would move on from Umaga after this and take to feud with Orton. That feud would follow Hardy vs. Orton at the Rumble, so this was definitely a launching pad for the two survivors back to the main event.

Buy Smackdown vs. Raw! For some reason when they do the HIAC on the game as you would expect them to, Batista has a Smackdown tag title, a title he hadn’t held in almost two years, instead of the world title he currently held.

Shaquille O’Neal is here.

Hornswoggle is still nervous in the back. Tonight’s match is another of those tough love things from Vince. Speaking of the boss, he comes in and Hornswoggle immediately hugs his leg. This is one of those things that I think WWE missed about Horny: he acts like a child. HE HAS A FULL BEARD! THE GUY IS IN HIS TWENTIES! HORNSWOGGLE IS NOT A CHIL……why am I annoyed by this? It’s Horswoggle. Vince says he made this match because Horny is a McMahon and therefore has to rise to the occasion. He compares this to his battles with Turner and the US government. Vince gives him a pep talk and Horny is ready.

Here’s Shane McMahon to the arena, rocking a suit. Shane introduces Vince and apparently they’ll be in the corner of Horny tonight. Well that’s nice of them. JBL says this is going to be Biblical. Cole: “This isn’t the Bible.” Vince isn’t in his headset either. That’s the natural reaction that Cole has. Why does he get to keep his job for so long?

Hornswoggle vs. Great Khali

Runjin Singh, Khali’s manager, says we should have the wrestlers get together for the reading of the rules. This results in Singh talking over the referee as he translates. The fans want Shaq but they get the bell instead. The fans realize Shaq is here and Vince tells him to sit down. Vince tells the fans he doesn’t care what they want. Now there’s a shoot if there’s ever been one. Horny takes off his jacket and hat and kicks Singh in the face. Horny kicks at the legs of Khali…and wisely runs away. Singh runs his mouth some more and gets GREEN MIST IN THE FACE!

Horny dives on Singh and pounds away before hiding from Khali under the ring. The small guy finds that Irish club and calls Khali in but the stick is of course caught. Khali kicks him down but before the Vice Grip can go on, Finlay runs in for the save and face turn. This ran over three minutes but it doesn’t deserve to be rated. At least this did serve a purpose though, so it’s not a total failure. It should have been on Raw though.

Finlay beats up Singh and Khali with the club. It would eventually be revealed that Finlay was Horny’s father, but I’m not quite sure why Vince agreed to the whole thing in storyline.

Watch this DVD about Taker being 15-0! I guarantee you it won’t be out of date in about six months or so!

Alfonso Soriano, a baseball player, is here.

We recap Shawn vs. Orton. Shawn had the title won in a previous match but Orton intentionally got himself disqualified and then Punted Shawn to the shelf for a few months. Shawn admitted he wanted revenge but Vince banned the superkick for no apparent reason other than being evil.

Raw World Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Randy Orton

Orton is defending, if Orton gets DQ’ed the title changes, Shawn can get no more shots if he loses, and if Shawn attempts to use the Superkick, he loses the match. Got all that? Shawn almost immediately goes to the cravate and Orton spends nearly two minutes trying to fight out of it. Now that’s a (European) headlock. Orton escapes in the corner and Shawn raises his leg for the kick but the referee says that wasn’t an attempt. It’s going to be one of those referees I guess.

Orton drops down as Shawn runs the ropes so Shawn gets on Randy’s back and chokes away. The hold switches to a front facelock as they’re spending a lot of time in holds so far. Randy finally gets to the floor where Shawn fakes diving over the top so he can dropkick him through the ropes before faking ANOTHER dive and hitting an Asai Moonsault in a good sequence. Back in and Orton rolls through a crossbody for two before hitting an uppercut to take over.

Shawn fights up and throws on the required Sharpshooter and Orton finally makes the rope. I know when holds go on I’m not very descriptive, but what is there to say? You know what the hold looks like and it’s really hard to convey the drama of someone crawling to the ropes. Orton comes back with a thumb to the eye and snaps Shawn across the top rope to take over. The Elevated DDT hits for two. I didn’t remember Randy doing that move back then.

It’s off to a chinlock by Orton as the hold marathon continues. It’s not boring or bad but it’s a very different way of going about a match. Shawn fights back but walks into a dropkick for two. Shawn catches another dropkick in mid air and slams Randy down a few times before hitting the top rope elbow for two. By instinct, Shawn tunes up the band but he fakes Orton out by making him duck and grabs a rollup for two. Brilliant psychology there.

In a move I was shocked to see at the time, Shawn puts on a Crossface. Remember that this is just five months after Benoit, so that’s not a move you would have expected to see here. Orton finally gets a leg over the rope and Shawn looks spent from that not working. He tries the hold again but Randy clotheslines his head off for two. Orton hits the backbreaker and loads up the same Punt which kept Shawn out for five months.

Randy gets a running start but Shawn grabs an ankle lock with a grapevine to make Orton scream. Orton uses the good leg to kick Shawn away and break the hold. Why don’t more people do that to angle? Michaels tries the Figure Four but Orton kicks him into the post. Shawn pulls up the foot for the kick but since he has to stop, Orton hits the RKO for the pin to retain the title.

Rating: B. I was digging the psychology here as Shawn had to come up with all kinds of ways to beat Orton instead of the RKO. It says a lot about Shawn that the only way they could have Orton be able to hang in a fight with him was to take away Shawn’s big move. Orton would hold the title for another five months or so until HHH (of course) took it away from him.

Orton demands that Shawn say Orton is the future but Shawn is pretty out of it. There’s the superkick we were waiting on.

Cole is talking about the main event and SAVE US. For those of you unfamiliar, this was a series of videos that popped up at random on shows with what looked like the Matrix announcing that someone was coming to SAVE US. It would be revealed tomorrow night that it was the return of Chris Jericho.

The Cell is lowered.

We recap Batista vs. Undertaker. Batista lost the belt to Undertaker at Wrestlemania and they feuded for the title on a few PPVs. After a cage match on Smackdown, Edge cashed in the MITB contract and won the title from Undertaker. Later, Edge was hurt and had to vacate the belt, which was won by Khali. Batista eventually beat Khali for the belt and Taker came back to challenge him for it.

They fought at Cyber Sunday with Batista winning, which made them 1-1 with a few draws. Taker wanted one more match and Batista was perfectly cool with that, but Taker wanted it in the Cell. See how that worked? It was a natural progression with the Cell being the FINAL match between them (one on one at least). That’s a logical progression that you rarely get anymore. This was an excellent feud which won Feud of the Year from Meltzer. I can’t argue with that at all as it was great.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. Undertaker

Big Dave is defending. Taker charges to start and is caught in a headlock before getting run over by Big Dave. Taker shrugs it off and tries an early chokeslam but Batista fights out of it. This is one of those feuds where you don’t bother with the basic stuff and go with the big power moves because that’s all that’s going to have any effect. Taker clotheslines him down and pounds away in the corner. We’re still in the early going here so this doesn’t mean a lot yet.

The Snake Eyes and Big Boot get two for Taker and it’s chair time. Batista hits a BIG spear to take Undertaker down and gets the chair. That goes badly for the champ as Taker kicks the chair back into his face and gets two off a clothesline. They head outside and Taker keeps control with a solid shot into the steps. Batista gets raked against the Cell and there’s the legdrop on the apron.

To stay on the throat, Taker puts the chair over Batista’s throat and slams the bottom of the chair into the steps. The champ is bleeding from the mouth now. Back in and Taker covers by driving a forearm into the throat. Taker is kind of the heel in this match I think, which says A LOT about how over Batista was here. Back in Taker loads up Old School but Batista catches him in the spinebuster in a cool counter.

They slug it out and Batista takes over with a clothesline that gets two. Batista hits a powerslam and takes it back to the floor. They’ve done a solid job here of having both guys dominate for a long stretch which usually works well for a big time match. Taker whips Batista into the Cell to take over again so maybe what I just said is nonsense. Batista gets rammed head first into the Cell and things are starting to pick up.

A chair shot keeps Batista down and the champ is cut open on the forehead. Batista blocks Old School again and hits a superplex to put both guys down. As Big Dave is crawling over to Taker, the Dead Man tries the Hell’s Gate (triangle choke) but it’s not on full. Batista makes the rope and heads to the floor for a breather. Has Batista never watched a big time Taker match? He deserves the Taker Dive that he gets.

Taker picks up the steps and tries to ram Batista with them, but Batista pulls himself up using the cage and kicks them back into Taker’s face. Batista picks up the steps and just rams Taker in the head with them four or five times, busting the Dead Man open. Back in and Batista does the stupid thing of punching Taker in the corner and gets a Last Ride for his efforts. That only gets two and the pop isn’t huge from the crowd. They know we’re getting A LOT of finishers before a pin here.

There’s a chokeslam but it only gets two. The Tombstone is countered into a spinebuster for two and there’s another spinebuster for good measure. It’s table time and Batista easily powerbombs him through it….for two. There’s the pop from the crowd on the kickout that we were looking for. Now the Animal loads up the steps but Taker backdrops him onto said steps for two. The Tombstone hits….for two. If my memory is right, Batista and Shawn are the only two people to take all three of Taker’s finishers and kick out of all three. Batista might have done it more than once but I’m not sure.

Taker KILLS Batista with a Tombstone on the steps but at two, someone pulls the referee out of the ring. It’s the returning Edge, who I presume was hiding under the ring. He steals a camera and clocks Taker with it before hitting a Conchairto on the steps. Batista has no idea this is going on after the Tombstone. Edge pulls the champ on top and the pin is pretty much academic.

Rating: B+. This was very good but it never quite got to that level that they were hoping for it to I don’t think. The problem is this was match was based on respect instead of hatred which takes a lot out of a match like this. Edge would win the title in a triple threat next month and eventually lose it to Taker at Wrestlemania.

After the Cell is raised, Edge beats on Taker some more to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. This was a nice surprise. The tag title match is some uninspired stuff but other than that (ignoring the non-match between Khali and Horny) there’s nothing bad on here at all. The Divas match is what it is and if the worst thing I have to do is look at Kelly Kelly and Maria in barely there shorts for five minutes, I’ve got a good show on my hands. The big matches delivered and the other matches aren’t bad so this is a solid show all around and worth checking out.

Ratings Comparison

CM Punk vs. John Morrison vs. The Miz

Original: B-

Redo: C

Mickie James/Maria/Torrie Wilson/Michelle McCool/Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix/Melina/Jillian Hall/Victoria/Layla

Original: D

Redo: D

Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch vs. Hardcore Holly/Cody Rhodes

Original: D

Redo: C-

Team HHH vs. Team Umaga

Original: C-

Redo: B-

Great Khali vs. Hornswoggle

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Randy Orton vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: D+

Redo: B

Batista vs. Undertaker

Original: A-

Redo: B+

Overall Rating

Original: B-

Redo: B

The main thing I’ve learned about myself from these redos is that I was a lot looser with my grades back then. The redo grades here are a lot more toned down and it’s a bit harder to please me now.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/16/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-2007-batista-vs-undertaker-in-the-cell/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Saturday Night’s Main Event #34
Date: June 2, 2007
Location: Air Canada Center, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 16,176
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s the night before One Night Stand 2007 and this is a show that WWE is required to do while showing a bare minimum of interest. There has been almost no mention of this show on WWE TV and that is rarely a good sign for what we have coming. The show is only an hour and a half though so maybe we can get a little break this time around. Let’s get to it.

We have a theme this time: Biggest, Smallest, Strongest, Strangest. This is going to be a rough sit.

John Cena vs. Great Khali

Non-title and a preview of tomorrow night’s title match. After a video on Khali being big and scary, we’re ready to go. Cena goes right at him to start but the FU attempt is blocked with a forearm to the back. Khali punches him into the corner without much effort and we hit the choking. An attempt at a takedown for the STFU is shrugged off and Khali runs him over with a clothesline. The fans tell Khali that he sucks as he pounds Cena down again and again. Another FU attempt manages to get Khali off of his feet but he elbows his way to freedom. The chokeslam finishes Cena, with Khali putting his foot on the chest for the pin.

Rating: D+. I’ve never cared for this one as we are a day away from One Night Stand and I don’t really care to see the match again. It wasn’t that good here and the original match was only so much better. I get the idea that it’s now a trilogy and Cena needs to overcome incredible odds, but it isn’t working for me here.

Post match Khali rants, which is translated to Khali saying he can beat Cena anywhere.

Here is Vince McMahon for some arm wrestling with Bobby Lashley, so we see a long history package recapping their feud. Lashley comes out and since this is WWE arm wrestling, we spend a good time on Vince getting ready to go. Actually hold on, because here is Mark Henry to take Vince’s place. Lawler: “Mr. McMahon always has something up his sleeves, even when he’s not wearing sleeves!” Henry takes over to start but Lashley makes the comeback, causing Henry to jump him to start the brawl. Lashley hits a spear to drop Henry but Vince smashes Lashley with a chair to leave him laying.

Maria asks Edge if he is the smallest or the strangest. Edge says none, and explains how he won the World Heavyweight Title. That’s why he isn’t the biggest, strongest, smallest or strangest, because he is the greatest. Good line.

Batista/Chris Benoit vs. MVP/Edge

Batista has a taped up leg coming in. Joined in progress with MVP hammering on Benoit in the corner and then dragging him over to Edge (who gets the hometown pop). Benoit is fine enough to snap off a suplex for two on Edge and then runs him over for a bonus. Batista comes in so Edge bails immediately, leaving Batista to beat up MVP instead. A boot to the face gives Batista two and it’s back to Benoit for the chops.

The rolling German suplexes plant MVP but Edge offers a distraction, meaning the Swan Dive misses. The villains take over on Benoit as Lawler accuses him of taking the coward’s way out. Some shots to the ribs set up a waistlock to keep Benoit in trouble, allowing commentary to list off Edge’s resume. MVP comes in to drop an elbow to the ribs but Benoit kicks him away. There’s the hot tag to Batista to pick up the pace as Edge walks out. The spinebuster into a Swan Dive finishes MVP.

Rating: C. This was pretty much any main event level tag match and it makes sense that Edge would walk out of a match that doesn’t mean anything to him. At the same time, it makes Edge appear to be afraid of Batista to make their cage match a little more interesting. I would think MVP vs. Benoit would be over, but why let it go so soon?

Finlay/Hornswoggle vs. Boogeyman/Little Boogeyman

The big guys start with Boogeyman shoving Finlay down despite having a mouth full of worms. A running shoulder in the corner sets up an atomic drop to keep Finlay in trouble so it’s off to Little Boogeyman for a running seated senton. Little Boogeyman punches away at Finlay, setting up a short (you know the jokes) DDT. Hornswoggle comes in for the brawl but Finlay dropkicks Little Boogeyman in the face. That means a jig from Finlay and Hornswoggle but Boogeyman chases Hornswoggle to the back. Finlay uses the distraction to kick Little Boogeyman in the head for the pin.

Rating: D. We’ll file this under “well what else were you expecting”. The wrestling wasn’t anything to see here but that also wasn’t exactly the point. This was about getting the wacky characters in the ring to continue their feud which likely doesn’t have much of a major endgame in mind. At least they kept (about half of it) short.

Extreme Expose, but we cut to the back where Little Boogeyman is chasing Hornswoggle. That leads into the regular Boogeyman but Finlay makes the save with the Shillelagh. We cut back to the dancing…and here is Hornswoggle, still running from Little Boogeyman. Naturally, this turns into a chicken fight between Brooke and Layla until everyone falls down. Little Boogeyman chases Hornswoggle away as WWE is somehow managing to make EXTREME EXPOSE too complicated.

Kane/Eugene/Doink the Clown vs. Kevin Thorn/Umaga/Viscera

This was originally Kane/Goldust/Shannon Moore/Kamala vs. Umaga/Viscera/Doink/Thorn but Goldust backed out and we get this instead. That’s not fair to Kamala, but nothing ever was. As a bonus, Eugene is now a superhero. Doink and Thorn start things off and the YAY/BOO chants begin. They circle each other for a good bit until Doink grabs a boot to the ribs. That finally earns him a push into the corner and the beating is on. Back up and it’s off to Eugene….who gets to face Umaga.

Eugene gets hammered down and Viscera comes in to send Eugene outside. Gyrations send us to a break and we come back with Umaga coming back in to stomp away. The nerve hold goes on to keep Eugene in trouble and Thorn’s chinlock does the same. Eugene finally manages to escape and brings in Kane to clean house. Everything breaks down and Kane hits the top rope clothesline on Thorn but Umaga makes the save. Viscera misses a charge at Kane in the corner and gets chokeslammed for the pin.

Rating: D. That’s about all you could have hoped for it to be. This was as exciting as a match where they sat around for nine minutes waiting on the hot tag to Kane was going to be. The original lineup wouldn’t have made this any better as it was going to be Kane and a bunch of goofs vs. Umaga and his slightly more effective goofs, so how good could this have been?

A two minute highlight package wraps us up.

Overall Rating: D-. Oh yeah this was terrible, as they managed to have one ok match, a bunch of bad ones, and then somehow found a way to turn Extreme Expose into a joke. I’m sure this was a required show from NBC but it would have been nice to see the slightest bit of effort. The EST theme was something, but egads they managed to waste an hour and a half of everyone’s time with this mess.

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Smackdown
Date: June 1, 2007
Location: John Labatt Centre, London, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the last Smackdown before One Night Stand but we also have to finish the build to Saturday Night’s Main Event, because the one thing that WWE needed at this point is more content. Last week saw Batista become the #1 contender again, meaning he gets a shot at Edge and the World Title in a cage on Sunday. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Chris Benoit/Matt Hardy vs. MVP/The Miz

The graphic says Mike Mizanin but commentary calls him the Miz. Benoit and MVP lock up to start with MVP getting pummeled into the corner. It’s off to Hardy for a back elbow and elbow drop for two so Miz comes in to get beaten up as well. A backbreaker gives Benoit two, followed by a snap suplex for the same. Miz sends Benoit into the corner though and rams him head first into the mat for two.

The Mizard of Oz gets two on Benoit, who suplexes his way out of trouble again. That’s enough for the tag to Hardy, who pulls Miz out of the corner into a sitout powerbomb for two of his own. Everything breaks down and the villains are cleared out as we take a break. Back with Miz hammering away and cutting off Matt’s comeback with a clothesline. MVP’s cheap shot from the apron keeps Matt in trouble and it’s time for a nerve hold to keep things slow.

The running boot to the face in the corner gets two more on Matt as the beating is on in full. Miz snaps Matt’s throat across the middle rope for two and the chinlock goes on. MVP comes back in but Matt finally gets up an elbow in the corner, setting up the running bulldog. The hot tag brings in Benoit to clean house but Miz kicks off the Sharpshooter attempt. That’s fine with Benoit, who settles for the Crossface and the tap as Matt dives onto MVP.

Rating: C+. This got some time and it makes a lot of sense to put Miz in there with some talented people. Miz needs ring time and a way to get built up, with a match like this working rather well. It’s a good sign that he was able to hold up his part of the match, as the new, serious version is working much faster than I would have expected.

Finlay gives Hornswoggle a pep talk for his match with Little Boogeyman, because that’s a thing.

Jillian Hall vs. Michelle McCool

Feeling out process to start with Michelle flipping out of an early headscissors. Michelle grabs a cradle, which is in no way a reason for her to twist and contort. Jillian sends her outside and chokes away inside as the fans are not exactly interested. We hit the backbreaker for a bit before Michelle comes back with a belly to belly for two. Jillian takes her down and hits the front flip legdrop for three near falls but here is Ashley Massaro for a distraction. That’s enough for Michelle to grab a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for the pin.

Rating: D+. This is a case where you have to consider the particulars. It wasn’t a very good match, but it felt like a match. They were doing actual moves and looking fairly competent at them, which is a lot better than a series of hair pulls and brawling. You can see the women coming a long way and that’s rather impressive.

Boogeyman fires up Little Boogeyman.

Little Boogeyman vs. Hornswoggle

Boogeyman is here too. JBL: “Koko B. Ware would look like Andre the Giant in this match.” Little Boogeyman spits worms into Hornswoggle’s hat to start and then knocks Hornswoggle down. The gyrating elbow gets two and it’s time to throw worms at Hornswoggle. That’s fine with Hornswoggle, who spits mist back at Little Boogeyman.

Cue Finlay from underneath the ring to throw Little Boogeyman back inside, setting up a brawl with Boogeyman. Hornswoggle dives off the apron to hammer on Boogeyman for a weird visual, leaving Finlay to Shillelagh Little Boogeyman. Hornswoggle debuts the Tadpole Splash for the pin to end a surprisingly wild match.

Mark Henry is going to hurt Kane tonight.

Raw Rebound.

Kane vs. Mark Henry

Kane kicks him to the floor so Henry comes back in for the drive into the corner. The clubbing forearms into the running powerslam plants Kane and there’s the running splash in the corner. Henry misses a splash though and Kane drops an elbow into a legdrop for two. Kane scores with the top rope clothesline but Henry bails to the floor at the threat of a chokeslam. That’s fine with Kane, who dropkicks him through the ropes, only to get caught in a bearhug. Henry drives him hard into the post and that’s enough for the countout.

Rating: C-. This was a way to keep Henry strong while also protecting Kane for a future rematch so they covered two ideas at once. Henry is being built up as a major force on Smackdown and a big win over Kane would go a long way to get him there. This was the first step on that path so not a bad start, even if the match wasn’t great.

Post match Kane sits up and chases Henry off.

Edge isn’t scared of Batista and is ready for him on the Cutting Edge later tonight.

Deuce N Domino aren’t worried about the Draft because they aren’t going into the army and getting buzzcuts. The interviewer explains it and the champs aren’t happy.

Tag Team Titles: Brian Kendrick/Paul London vs. William Regal/Dave Taylor vs. Deuce N Domino

Deuce N Domino are defending. Regal elbows Domino in the face to start and hands it off to Taylor to uppercut Domino down. London comes into headlock Taylor before shifting to the arm, with Kendrick coming in off the top to stay on it. Taylor uppercuts his way to freedom though and it’s off to Deuce via a blind tag. That’s fine with London, who armdrags Deuce down and hands it off to Kendrick in a hurry. Taylor punches him in the face to escape (as you do) but Kendrick crossbodies him over the top for the crash to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Kendrick and Deuce slowing things back down until Kendrick has to try to skin the cat. Domino breaks that up with a kick to the ribs though and the champs take over on Kendrick. Back in and Domino grabs a cobra clutch until Taylor tags himself back in. Kendrick is tossed outside in a crash but Regal is smart enough to throw him back inside to break up the countout.

We hit the chinlock back inside with Kendrick having to put a boot on the ropes for a break. An enziguri finally gives Kendrick a breather but Regal comes back in to wreck him with a half nelson suplex (that landing was nasty). The villains get in a fight of their own though and Kendrick gets over for the tag to London. House is cleaned in a hurry but Cherry hits London with her rollerskate so Domino can steal the pin to retain the title.

Rating: B-. This got time and was enough of a different kind of match to keep things feeling fresh. You don’t see triple threat tag matches very often around here so it was nice to have something different for a change. Deuce N Domino have established themselves as champions, though I’m not sure who they are supposed to face next, as depth isn’t really a priority for the tag division.

One Night Stand rundown, including Mark Henry vs. Kane in a lumberjack match.

Teddy Long congratulates Vickie Guerrero on coming up with the lumberjack match. Kristal is worried about being Drafted to another show, but Long would give up being GM to be with her. Vickie says she would run the show in his honor if he had to leave. She even lets the two of them leave early tonight and volunteers to run the show (all ten minutes left of it) for Teddy. Sure why not.

It’s time for the Cutting Edge and Edge wastes no time in bringing out Batista as his guest. Edge makes it clear that this is not going to get physical but he isn’t scared of Batista. Maybe Batista is the one intimidated….so he takes off his jacket. He’s just a bit hot, but Edge is looking a bit scared.

Batista talks about how Edge stole the title from Undertaker but Edge says he’s the champ. Batista: “Until One Night Stand.” Edge wishes him luck, so Batista does the same and slaps him in the face. Edge says he doesn’t need it so Batista says he does and slaps Edge again. We go back and forth with YES YOU DO/NO I DON’T plus some shoving. Edge says he isn’t scared, but Batista says he should be and punched Edge down to end the show. They’re doing what they can with almost no story here and it’s going as well as can be expected.

Overall Rating: C. This show took a different path from last week in that they were trying to build things up as well as they could while also giving us a good amount of in-ring action. What we got here was entertaining enough, though I’m really looking forward to getting past Sunday and on to something fresh. For now though, it a nice go home show for a not so great looking pay per view.

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Smackdown
Date: May 4, 2007
Location: BJCC, Birmingham, Alabama
Attendance: 5,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re done with Backlash but it does not seem like we are done with Batista vs. Undertaker. The two of them went to a draw in a Last Man Standing match at the pay per view and that probably means we get another match between the two of them, which is not a bad thing. I’m not sure what that is going to mean, but hopefully WWE can keep up their roll. Let’s get to it.

Here is Backlash if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

William Regal vs. Boogeyman

This isn’t quite the normal start, but Little Boogeyman is back. Dave Taylor is here too but he doesn’t have quite the merchandising potential. Grappling doesn’t quite work for Regal so Boogeyman gyrates a bit. Regal gets a bit more violent by sending him shoulder first into the post and kicking the arm. Some forearms have Boogeyman in trouble as Cole calls him a “must see character”. The chinlock doesn’t last long as the fans bring Boogeyman back to life. The chokebomb connects but Taylor comes in for the DQ.

Rating: C-. This was short and to the point, likely for the sake of setting up another match of some kind. They went a bit more technical than I was expecting here but Regal got better once he turned into the brawler. Keeping this short was probably better for Boogeyman, as he isn’t exactly the best thing to see in the ring most of the time.

Post match the beatdown is on, with Little Boogeyman taking a beating of his own. Kane runs in for the save, chasing the Brits into the crowd.

We look at Vince McMahon becoming ECW World Champion.

Dusty Rhodes is in Teddy Long’s office but Teddy doesn’t think he would be a good choice for an assistant’s role. Rhodes thought it was for the GM’s job and leaves (Dusty: “See ya playa!”). MVP comes in (MVP: “Was that the American Dream?”) and isn’t happy with what happened to him at Backlash. If he doesn’t get another US Title shot, he’s sitting out the rest of his contract. Long says he can have the title shot if he wins tonight….against Kane. Yelling ensues so MVP leaves, running into Sgt. Slaughter, the Brooklyn Brawler and the Miz, all of whom want to be Long’s assistant. Miz even throws in a HOO RAH.

Brian Kendrick vs. Domino

It really would be nice to think that WWE knows another way to present a tag team feud but that seems to be false hope. Deuce, Cherry and the injured Paul London are here too as Domino grabs an early headlock. Kendrick sends him outside and hits a heck of a suicide dive, only to have Domino come back with a knee to the face.

Back in and another knee, this time in the form of a drop, gives Domino two and we hit the chinlock. Kendrick raises a boot to cut off a middle rope unidentified flying….thing and hits a running forearm in the corner. Deuce takes out London but Kendrick kicks Deuce off the apron as he hits Sliced Bread for the pin.

Rating: C. Kendrick was flying all over the place here and it made for a good enough match, even if this feud has gone so far beyond stale that it’s barely worth caring about. The tag division really is that weak at the moment, or at least the face side of it is, because there has been nothing suggesting even one other team coming after the titles.

Here is Mr. Kennedy, complete with a graphic counting down to his Wrestlemania XXIV countdown. It’s 331 days until there is a new champion and his name is…..a catchphrase.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Matt Hardy

JBL thinks that Hardy could be in the main event of Wrestlemania as well, because JBL isn’t a great analyst. Hardy headlocks Kennedy down to start as JBL thinks next year’s Wrestlemania is in Tampa. Back up and Kennedy works on a headlock of his own to little avail. Cole uses this opportunity to hype up an upcoming clip of the end of Batista and Undertaker for approximately the 193rd time tonight.

Kennedy starts working on the arm before elbowing Hardy in the face. A backdrop sends Kennedy over the top though and we take a break, with Kennedy possibly having a busted nose. Back with Hardy hitting a middle rope elbow to the back of the head, only to have Kennedy take him down by the arm. The chinlock goes on again, meaning Cole can get in his 194th reference to the Batista/Undertaker clip.

Back up and they collide coming out of the corner until Kennedy is sent outside. He comes up favoring his shoulder but is still fine enough to kick Hardy hard into the steps. They head back inside with Kennedy grabbing a cravate to keep Hardy down. A clothesline gives Kennedy two and let’s hit that chinlock again. That’s broken up but Hardy’s bulldog out of the corner is broken up.

The second attempt connects to give Hardy two but Kennedy pulls him throat first across the top. The Side Effect drops Kennedy for two more and a double clothesline gives them two each. Kennedy counters the Twist of Fate into a Regal Roll for two but the Kenton Bomb only hits raised knees. Hardy’s middle rope legdrop gets yet another near fall so Kennedy shoves him at the referee. That doesn’t seem to bother Hardy, who comes back with the Twist of Fate for the pin.

Rating: B. This got some time and really picked up the pace in the last few minutes as they were trading a lot of near falls. That is not something you get to see very often in a free TV match and they made it work for the better part of twenty minutes. Nice stuff here, though Mr. Money in the Bank losing again holds it back a bit.

Video on Batista and Undertaker in the Last Man Standing match at Backlash. It was rather good, but not quite the epic showdown Cole made it out to be.

Teddy Long announces that next week, it’s Batista vs. Undertaker in a cage match to finish everything once and for all.

Maryse welcomes us back to the show.

Jimmy Wang Yang vs. Gregory Helms

Yang shoulders him down for a headlock to start, setting up an armdrag into an armbar. Back up and Helms blocks another armdrag and sends him outside. Helms tosses Yang back inside and grabs most of a half crab (minus stepping over), followed by a waistlock. Yang fights up again and hits a dropkick into a hurricanrana for a breather. Helms slams him out of the corner for two but a superplex is broken up. The top rope moonsault press finishes for Yang.

Rating: C. This was two people having a match for a few minutes with some nice moves thrown in. It had nothing as far as interest goes, as it’s not like the Cruiserweight Title means much of anything at the moment. The fact that it took me a little while to remember who the champion was should tell you all you need to know about the division right now, and that isn’t likely to get any better anytime soon.

Here is a serious Batista for a chat. He talks about what he and Undertaker put each other through at Backlash before going over the limit. After they crashed through everything, Batista was laying there asking himself it this was all worth it. Of course it was and he wanted to step out of his body and slap himself for asking such a stupid question. He’s ready to do it all over again because he has promised himself to win the title back, even if it means getting inside a cage next week.

Mark Henry is still coming back.

Finlay vs. Miz

Feeling out process to start until Miz actually manages to knock him outside. Even JBL is impressed, though Finlay nailing Miz in the head cuts that off in a hurry. Hornswoggle pops out for a cheap shot, sending JBL into a rant about how we have Little Boogeyman, Hornswoggle and Tazz around here. They head back in and Finlay takes off the turnbuckle pad, allowing him to throw Hornswoggle at Miz behind the referee’s back. Miz sends him shoulder first into the post for two though and the running corner clothesline hits Finlay again.

Cue Hornswoggle again (three times in a four minute match is a bit much), this time with a Shillelagh shot to Miz. The distraction lets Finlay run Miz over but Miz sends him into the apron. Hornswoggle pulls Miz underneath the ring this time but he’s right back out….wearing Hornswoggle’s hat. That’s too much for Miz, who takes the countout.

Rating: D+. This was basically Miz vs. Hornswoggle and that got a little tiring in a hurry. That being said, Miz is also starting to get a lot more comfortable in the ring and you can see a star starting to emerge. He has always been able to talk but if he can survive in the ring, he becomes even more valuable. Now someone get me Hornswoggle’s hat.

Undertaker promises to make Batista rest in peace next week. Short and to the point here.

We look at Vince McMahon winning the ECW World Title (they’re REALLY high on this story, as they should be).

Kane vs. MVP

The winner challenges Chris Benoit for the US Title at Judgment Day. Kane powers him into the corner to start and then throws him back out, setting up an early bearhug. A powerslam out of the corner gives Kane two and it’s off to a chinlock with a knee in MVP’s back. Kane knocks him down again and we take a break. Back with MVP sending him shoulder first into the post and hammering away to get a breather. The armbar makes it worse for Kane and a forearm to the shoulder gets two.

The referee breaks up something in the ropes so Kane is back with a clothesline. MVP is sent into the corner for the running clothesline but another shot to the arm gets him out of trouble. Kane uses the good arm to hit a side slam for two but MVP’s swinging neckbreaker is good for the same. A slam puts MVP down though and Kane hits the top rope clothesline. Cue William Regal and Dave Taylor though, with the latter distracting the referee so Regal can get in a brass knuckles shot. The Playmaker gives MVP the pin and the title shot.

Rating: C+. I’m not sure how much drama there was to this but it was nice to see things tied back into the opening segment to wrap this up. MVP continues to look like he could be a big deal on the show, but egads he has to win that title at the pay per view. It was a pretty nice match though, and Regal’s knuckles shot looked painful to make it better.

Overall Rating: C+. Overall, this was a solid enough week with Hardy vs. Kennedy being the highlight, but I think you can tell that something is a little off. Undertaker appearing in a pre-tape and a sudden World Title match being booked for TV isn’t the most encouraging sign, as it would suggest that something was wrong (which it turns out there was). Still though, good show, despite what felt like some stuff being thrown together at the last minute.

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Smackdown
Date: April 6, 2007
Location: Allen County War Memorial, Fort Wayne, Indiana
Attendance: 4,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We are done with Wrestlemania and that means it is time to back in the glory of a pretty awesome show. I’m not sure what that is going to entail, but this time around we should be in for at least an appearance from Undertaker, who won the Smackdown World Title on Sunday. Let’s get to it.

Here is Wrestlemania if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here is Mr. Money in the Bank/Kennedy to get things going. Kennedy brags about the briefcase’s power and promises that the Kennedy Era will have begun. Begun.

Jeff Hardy vs. Mr. Kennedy

They fight over a lockup to start and go up against the ropes with neither being able to get very far. Jeff shoulders him down and grabs an armdrag into an armbar. Kennedy gets sent outside for the slingshot dropkick through the ropes into the big dive. We take a break and come back with Jeff hitting the sitout gordbuster.

The Swanton is broken up though and Kennedy bends him around the post to work on the ribs, setting up a seated abdominal stretch. Back up and Kennedy knees him in the ribs to cut off a comeback attempt and there’s a backbreaker to make it worse. The regular abdominal stretch goes on but Hardy hiptosses his way to freedom. Whisper in the Wind drops Kennedy again but a REALLY far Swanton only hits mat. The DDT finishes Hardy, which Cole calls cashing in on victory. It’s going to be a long contract holding time.

Rating: C. Pretty standard match here with Kennedy getting a nice win as he gets ready to move forward with the briefcase. That’s the right thing for him to do and the kind of win that he needs. Kennedy has cheated to beat a bunch of top names, but he needs to prove that he can get some clean pins like this one.

Post match, Hornswoggle charges at Kennedy but it’s Finlay jumping Kennedy from behind and promising violence if Kennedy ever hurts Hornswoggle again.

Wrestlemania got a lot of press.

Krystal is in Teddy Long’s office and they had a great time at Wrestlemania, plus AFTER the show. Teddy gets a card to open later but Mr. Kennedy comes in to say he wants him in the ring. After some clarification, Teddy figures out that he means Hornswoggle and the match is on for next week. Oh and we’ll make it a handicap match with Finlay involved too. Kennedy leaves upset and Long opens the card, which he says is amazing.

Ashley runs into Timbaland (music producer) and praises his music. Jillian Hall comes in to audition for him and Ashley/Timbaland aren’t impressed.

Wrestlemania music video.

Chris Benoit vs. The Miz

Non-title and Miz is looking fiery here. They fight over a lockup to start and Miz grabs a headlock. You don’t do that to Benoit, who snaps off a belly to back suplex for the break. A backdrop has Miz in more trouble and a snap suplex gives Benoit two. The chops put Miz into the corner and Benoit sends him out to the apron. That means a heck of a chop to stop him cold but Miz manages to snap the throat across the top rope.

Miz hammers and stomps away and the cravate puts Benoit in more trouble. Benoit can’t even roll out of it so Miz knocks him into the corner for the running clothesline. Some elbows to the head give Miz two and it’s off to another chinlock. That’s broken up as well and Benoit starts striking away to take over.

The release German suplex sends Miz flying so Benoit loads up the Swanton, only to have MVP pull Miz away at the last second. It might not sound like much, but factor in that Miz was probably 75% of the way across the ring and Benoit would have connected. That’s one of the longest top rope jumps I’ve ever seen and the crash landing lets Miz steal the pin. JBL sounding crushed at the fact that Miz just beat Benoit is great.

Rating: C-. Not the most thrilling match here but good night that jump was a sight to behold. You don’t see someone get that kind of distance most of the time and unfortunately it didn’t get the credit it deserved. MVP vs. Benoit continues and odds are we’ll get a rematch at Backlash, or whatever the next Smackdown pay per view is. Works for me, as long as MVP keeps facing international champions.

We look at Matt Hardy going after Sharmell in Money in the Bank to distract King Booker. JBL: “He made the wrong choice.”

Booker and Sharmell aren’t happy and swear revenge.

King Booker vs. Matt Hardy

Queen Sharmell is here with Booker. Matt punches him into the corner to start, setting up the clothesline in to the bulldog for two. Booker is back up with a kick to the face and Sharmell adds some choking from the floor. A spinebuster plants Matt, who is bleeding from the mouth, for no cover. Instead it’s a quickly broken chinlock, followed by an elbow to the face.

Matt is right back up with a neckbreaker and Matt’s own elbow gets two. Booker isn’t having any of that and kicks Matt in the face for two more. We hit the abdominal stretch and Booker throws in some elbows to the ribs. That’s shifted into an armbar but Matt fights up again and hits the Side Effect. Matt’s rollup gets two but Booker superkicks him hard. Back up and Booker tries a backslide, only to have Hardy grab a small package for the quick pin.

Rating: C. I don’t think there is any surprise tot he fact that these two could have a fine enough match if they were given time. The amount of holds wasn’t quite interesting but at least they got to do a little bit here and tie it back in to what happened at Wrestlemania. Sharmell seems to be getting some more focus though and that might not be the most thrilling concept.

Post match Sharmell yells about Matt violating her at Wrestlemania and then Booker LOSES. Sharmell walks out on him, leaving Booker upset.

Kane vs. Dave Taylor

William Regal is here too and jumps Kane before the match. Kane beats both of them up without much trouble and leaves them laying. No match.

Booker apologizes to Sharmell and things seem to be better. Then she slaps him.

Mark Henry is coming back.

Brian Kendrick/Paul London vs. Chavo Guerrero/Gregory Helms

Non-title and here are Deuce & Domino and Cherry to watch from their car. Helms takes London down to start and drops an early leg for two. Chavo comes in for an armbar followed by a dropkick for a quick two. The champs are right back up with running headscissors to put Guerrero and Helms on the floor, setting up the big dives.

We take a break and come back with Helms’ swinging Rock Bottom backbreaker getting two on Kendrick. The alternating beating in the corner is on, setting up Chavo’s front facelock. That doesn’t last long though as the hot tag brings in London to clean house in a hurry. A Nightmare on Helm Street gives Helms two as everything breaks down. Chavo’s superplex is broken up though and he gets sent outside. A Sliced Bread/sitout powerbomb combination gives Kendrick the pin.

Rating: C+. As JBL keeps saying, London and Kendrick are fun to watch. That’s exactly the case and it’s hard not to like them. To have held the titles this long and still be so entertaining is quite the trick that they have pulled off. It is probably time to drop the titles though, and it actually makes me a bit sad because these guys really are that good.

Deuce & Domino want the titles.

The Condemned had a big premiere in Detroit.

Booker is upset about Sharmell.

Hall of Fame video.

We’ve got druids so I think you know what that means. Here’s the Undertaker, fresh off winning the Smackdown World Title at Wrestlemania. Before he can say anything though, cue Batista, who marches straight down to the ring. Batista says congratulations and he wants his rematch. Undertaker nods and Batista leaves but here is King Booker to jump Undertaker from behind. That doesn’t go well for Booker, as the Tombstone onto the announcers’ table leaves him laying to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. As has been the case with almost everything else this week, this was more about taking a breather rather than doing anything meaningful. Booker going after Undertaker and the rematch being set up are fine, but this was a show that didn’t really do much as far as setting up things. For the first show after the biggest night of the year, that is completely fine.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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Smackdown
Date: March 2, 2007
Location: HP Pavilion, San Jose, California
Attendance: 13,511
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We are about a month away from Wrestlemania and that means it is time for the big response from Undertaker. Batista attacked him at No Way Out and since this is wrestling, the two of them are taking turns in talking to each other. Other than that….well other than that, Smackdown needs another important story for the show. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here is Batista, all in white (including a turtleneck), to get things going. Last week, he explained why he attacked Undertaker at No Way Out and he is honored to face Undertaker at Wrestlemania. Undertaker chose him because he wants the best competition as well. Then Undertaker chokeslammed him and now they know where they stand. Batista will not be intimidated…..and there goes the gong. We cut to the graveyard, where Undertaker rises out of a grave and says all things must die. Some dirt is shoveled into the grave, with Undertaker promising to make Batista’s title reign rest in peace.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Matt Hardy vs. Joey Mercury

King Booker is on commentary and egads how weak is their roster to have these two fight this many times? The crowd does seem invested as Booker won’t let the other commentators get in a word. They trade headlocks to start until Matt hits a fireman’s carry gutbuster for two. A sitout gordbuster gets the same as Booker keeps up the rapid fire talking. Mercury comes back with a Stroke for two and Hardy is sent shoulder first into the post.

We take a break and come back with Mercury dropping a leg on the arm for two. They head outside so the arm can be dropped onto the apron and we hit the armbar back inside. The arm is wrapped around the middle rope and Mercury gets two off of la majistral. Mercury gets tossed off the top for the crash though and the running clothesline into a one armed bulldog gives Hardy two. The Side Effect gets the same and Hardy rips off Mercury’s protective mask. Mercury knocks him off the ropes but dives right into the Twist of Fate to send Hardy to Wrestlemania.

Rating: C. The arm work was a fine way to carry the story and I liked Hardy using the one armed version of his usual stuff. Much like most of the qualifying matches, there wasn’t a ton of drama here but the personal rivalry helps a bit. At the same time though, I’m done with watching these two fight as it feels like they have been fighting for months now.

MVP says he is Money in the Bank and he’ll prove it tonight.

Wrestlemania Recall: Bart Gunn is relieved of his consciousness by Butterbean.

Maryse tells us to keep watching.

Scotty 2 Hotty/Shannon Moore/Jimmy Wang Yang vs. Gregory Helms/Daivari/Chavo Guerrero

Moore and Helms start things off but Helms almost has to punch Chavo first. Helms sends Moore into the corner and hammers away as Cole touts the show’s CW ratings. Chavo comes in and gets taken into the corner so Scotty can work on his arm. A few distractions let Chavo uppercut away in the corner and the villains get to start taking turns on Scotty. Chavo gets in a kick from the apron so Daivari can knock Scotty down again.

Helms gets in a few shots and Chavo works on the arm. Scotty finally gets in a shot of his own and the hot tag brings in Yang to clean house. A top rope moonsault press gets two on Chavo but Helms jumps Yang. Scotty comes back in to load up the Worm, with the referee cutting it off as Scotty isn’t legal. Everything breaks down with a brawl on the floor as Daivari misses a charge into the corner. Yang hits another moonsault press for the pin.

Rating: C-. This got better near the end but egads it was a rough watch for the most part. The heat segment on Scotty went on far too long and it made for a mostly boring match. I can get behind the idea of Yang as the next one off challenger to Chavo, as it isn’t like there is anyone else. Technically fine, as usual, but not exciting.

Even JBL seems impressed with Yang after months of not being able to stand him.

Long video on the end of last week’s show, with Vince McMahon ordering Umaga to destroy Rey Mysterio again.

Here is Vince McMahon to recap last week and promise to shave Donald Trump’s hair at Wrestlemania. The match is about ego and embarrassment because there will be 80,000 people and a worldwide TV audience watching Trump get his head shaved. Vince can’t wait for the headlines, as he might even become Time’s Man of the Year.

We see the Bobby Lashley vs. Umaga brawl from Raw, plus Lashley diving through the cage to knock Umaga over on ECW. Vince talks about how we are going to have a guest referee named on Raw, but here is Lashley to interrupt. Vince doesn’t like Lashley interrupting him but offers him twice whatever Trump is paying him. Lashley says it was an honor to be chosen and it will be an honor to beat Umaga. That means it’s a NO to Vince, which sends him over the edge, including a slap. Lashley’s eyes bug out and Vince wisely runs.

Post break, Mr. Kennedy comes in to see Vince and says he wants Lashley tonight. The match is made and we’ll make it for the ECW World Title, no holds barred. Actually we’ll make it no holds barred for Kennedy only, because he’ll lose the title if he gets disqualified or counted out.

Ashley vs. Jillian Hall

The Playboy cover poster drops down over the entrance. Hold on though as Jillian has to sing her song before the bell. Ashley jumps her to start and grabs some rollups for a few fast near falls. Jillian gets in a few shots of her own and sends Ashley into the corner. A rollup with a grab of the rope gets two on Ashley, who kicks Jillian back down. Ashley drops a middle rope elbow for the fast pin.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Finlay vs. Chris Benoit vs. MVP

Non-title and here’s the Leprechaun to jump commentary. Finlay pulls him off and tells Cole that his name is HORNSWOGGLE. Commentary is far too excited over this being the first ever triple threat qualifying match. It’s a brawl to start with Finlay getting the better of things, including dropping Benoit. MVP sends Finlay outside to hammer away but Benoit dives onto both of them.

We take a break and come back with Finlay elbowing Benoit down into a chinlock, which always feels weird in a triple threat. Benoit fights up but MVP comes in to start the double teaming. MVP hits the Ballin Elbow on Benoit but Finlay hits him with a clothesline. The distraction lets Benoit come back with the German suplexes, setting up a Sharpshooter to MVP.

Finlay makes the save but gets pulled into the Crossface for his efforts. That’s broken up as well so Benoit knocks Finlay outside and hits an enziguri. Back in and MVP knees away at Benoit’s head, only to get caught in the rolling German suplexes. The Swan Dive misses though and here’s Hornswoggle for a distraction. Finlay is smart enough to club both guys down and get the pin on Benoit.

Rating: C+. They kept things moving here and the ending was hardly a stretch. Finlay would want to get into the title match by all means and this time it involved interference and cheating. Good match here, with everyone working until the end. You could have gone with anyone winning here and it would have made sense, so well done.

Next week: Undertaker vs. Finlay and Batista vs. Kane. Cool.

ECW World Title: Mr. Kennedy vs. Bobby Lashley

Lashley is defending and can lose the match via DQ or countout, while Kennedy is wrestling in a no holds barred match. Before the match, Kennedy takes off the turnbuckle pads and promises to win the title but Lashley cuts him off. Kennedy goes after him to start but gets taken into the corner for a powerslam. Back up and Kennedy sends him hard into the exposed buckle a few times to take over.

We take a break and come back with Lashley being sent outside, followed by a dropkick off the apron. Lashley beats the count back in so Kennedy chokes away with his wrist tape. Kennedy grabs a chair and blasts Lashley in the head for two. Lashley shrugs them off and grabs the chair, only to realize he can’t do that. Instead it’s a clothesline into a powerslam to retain Lashley’s title.

Rating: C. This was similar to the Hardcore Holly vs. Lashley match on ECW, as Vince McMahon keeps finding ways to stack the deck against Lashley. The good thing is that the matches are not exactly against powerhouses so Lashley overcoming the odds isn’t that horrible. Good enough main event here, as Kennedy is moving on to Money in the Bank.

Overall Rating: C+. Obsession with Battle of the Billionaires (which does make sense) aside, the best part of this show is how much it feels like a Wrestlemania season event. Stuff is happening, the Brand Split doesn’t mean as much, and the card is feeling bigger every day. They’re starting to feel it here and that is a great thing to be able to say at the right time.

IMG Credit: WWE

Survivor Series 2007
Date: November 18, 2007
Location: American Airlines Arena, Miami, Florida
Attendance: 12,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross, Tazz, Joey Styles

The company has finally settled down to the point where major changes are mostly done. The three rosters are working well enough and talent is moving from show to show fast enough to keep things interesting. There has however been one change, though it’s more the end of an experiment: all pay per views are now done by all brands, meaning there are no more Raw or Smackdown pay per views. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about how this started twenty years ago, as you would expect it to. It also talks about the main event matches tonight, as you would expect it to as well.

ECW Title: CM Punk vs. John Morrison vs. The Miz

Punk is defending and Miz (a reality TV star turned wrestler) and Morrison (formerly Johnny Nitro) are Smackdown Tag Team Champions. The team of course jumps CM at the same time because one on one, neither have a chance to beat Punk. Punk kicks the tar out of Miz’s head and gets a quick two on Morrison. Both challengers are sent to the floor where Punk takes both of them out with a suicide dive. Back in and Punk gets caught in a double suplex after the springboard clothesline fails.

Miz and Morrison double team Punk but Miz is the first of the heels to go extra heel, dumping Morrison out to the floor. He hooks a chinlock on Punk but has to let go to knock Morrison back to the outside. Punk kicks Miz in the head but Morrison comes back in with a backbreaker to CM followed by a cobra clutch (called a Japanese sleeper by Joey Styles).

Miz pulls Punk to the floor and rams him into the concrete to get us down to the challengers fighting. Morrison sends him into the corner chest first and hits the yet to be named Starship Pain for two. Punk comes back in and hurricanranas Morrison off the top into a powerbomb from Miz in a SWEET looking move. That only gets two but it got a BIG reaction from the crowd.

With Morrison pretty much dead, Punk kicks Miz in the face for two and hits the knee/bulldog combo for the same. Punk hits a backbreaker on Miz but Morrison grabs a rollup and trunks on the champ for two. Morrison escapes the GTS but gets knocked to the floor, allowing Punk to hit the GTS on Miz for the pin to retain.

Rating: C. Other than that hurricanrana/powerbomb spot, this was only ok. Punk had to carry the whole thing but you could see something special in Miz. It’s a little easier to see it now, but some people thought Miz would be the bigger deal because of this match. I’m not sure if I’d agree based on this match, but Miz did indeed look better than Morrison here. This was a pretty good choice for an opener, but the execution wasn’t great because Punk didn’t have enough to work with.

We recap MVP turning on Matt Hardy and taking out his knee. They had been partners for a long while before this but everyone thought MVP was evil the whole time, and this was the not very shocking turn.

MVP says that Matt won’t be competing tonight because he needs crutches to get by. That doesn’t surprise MVP, because Matt has always needed a crutch, be it either Jeff or MVP. Oh and he’s better than Matt.

Mickie James/Maria/Torrie Wilson/Michelle McCool/Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix/Melina/Jillian Hall/Victoria/Layla

One fall to a finish here and Beth is Women’s Champion. Maria is a gorgeous ditzy redhead, Torrie is a bombshell, McCool is a pretty blonde, Phoenix is a very strong woman, Jillian is ditzy as well and Layla is a British woman who dances a lot. The Divas Title doesn’t exist yet which is how things should have stayed. Melina falls off the apron during her splits entrance which is worth a chuckle. The second attempt works and thankfully she’s smiling after screwing it up.

Victoria and Michelle start things off with Michelle taking over with a headlock. A big boot puts Victoria (later Tara in TNA) down and it’s off to Torrie who isn’t very good in the ring. Victoria kills her mostly dead with a side slam and it’s off to Layla who is so bad here that she can’t even beat up Torrie. Kelly and Jillian come in and Jillian tries to scream a bit, only to get rolled up for two.

Thankfully Beth comes in to flatten Maria before handing it right back to Layla. Actually make that Melina, who misses a charge at Maria and crotches herself, allowing for the hot tag to Mickie. James beats up everyone in sight, has her partners take out Beth, and hits the Long Kiss Goodnight (spinning kick to the face after a kiss) on Melina for the pin.

Rating: D. Yes, the match sucked. Yes, most of the women in this are horrible wrestlers. Yes, if you’re complaining about these things, you’re missing the point. This was pure fan service as you had ten girls in either tight or barely there outfits and one hot woman kicking another hot woman in the head. If you’re looking for a wrestling match here, you’re in the wrong place.

Coach and Regal are in the back looking smug. Hornswoggle, who is Vince’s son at this point, is pacing very nervously. Remember that he faces Khali tonight.

Orton says history isn’t going to be made tonight. He’s going to beat Shawn because if Shawn uses the superkick, Shawn loses the match.

Shawn is here for revenge tonight because Orton has tried to hurt him and take his livelihood. Therefore tonight, Shawn is going to take the title.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch vs. Hardcore Holly/Cody Rhodes

Cade and Murdoch (two rednecks) are defending. Rhodes (Dusty’s son) is brand new at this point and spent weeks getting beaten up by Holly before Holly respected him enough to team with him. Cody and Cade start things off with the rookie getting hiptossed down. The crowd pretty much died as soon as the bell rang, which should tell you about the tag team situation at the time as these are the best Raw had for their belts.

Off to the very redneck Murdoch who chops away but gets caught in a headlock. Yeah Cody didn’t quite get anywhere as a worker for a long time. Holly comes in and is immediately beaten down by Cade. The crowd is reacting a bit so it’s not totally dead but it’s nothing special. The heels are sent into each other and fall out to the floor as Holly takes over. We actually get a HOLLY chant for the only time I can ever remember.

A rollup gets two for Hardcore and it’s off to Murdoch via a blind tag. Holly gets his head kicked off and things slow back down again. The champs tag in and out a lot before Cade picks up Murdoch to drop him down with a legdrop for two. We hit the chinlock on Holly which goes nowhere so Holly suplexes Trevor down. Cade misses an elbow drop but Holly still can’t tag out.

Cade tries that dropping Murdoch into a legdrop move again but as almost always is the case, it doesn’t work this time. Warm tag brings in Cody who hits a missile dropkick on Lance for two. Holly and Cade fall to the floor and Murdoch hits something resembling a Canadian Destroyer (flip piledriver, though this was much more like a sunset flip than a piledriver) to retain.

Rating: C-. Another so-so match here but at the end of the day, it’s Hardcore Holly and a rookie Cody Rhodes vs. Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch. That’s only going to take you so far as the fans aren’t going to care about it for the most part. I don’t get why they didn’t change the titles here as Holly and Rhodes would get the belts in a month (and hold them for SIX MONTHS) anyway.

The announcers explain the concept of a Survivor Series match to the uninitiated. That’s something you hardly ever see anymore: a basic explanation of WHAT IS GOING ON. Sometimes you need to slow things down a bit and tell people how things work. If you’re flipping through the channels and see something flashy like wrestling, you’re likely to stop but if you have no idea what’s going on, you’re not likely to stay. Gorilla Monsoon was a master at doing this.

Team HHH isn’t worried about being down 5-4 coming into the match (Matt Hardy was hurt) but Kane says he isn’t an underdog. We recap the Katie Vick angle (HHH: “Uh…..yeah sorry about that.” If you don’t know what this is, be glad and keep it that way.) and Jeff reminds HHH that he put him in the hospital. HHH is sorry about that too and says tonight they can unite in the idea of doing something terrible to someone else.

Team HHH vs. Team Umaga

HHH, Kane, Jeff Hardy, Rey Mysterio

Umaga, Mr. Kennedy, MVP, Finlay, Big Daddy V

Big Daddy V is a much fatter Mabel. Kennedy’s mic doesn’t work for the live intro at first so we can only hear the ending. Jeff is Intercontinental Champion and MVP is US Champion. Remember that we’re starting at 5-4 because Matt is gone. Rey and Kennedy get things going with Kennedy using a rare power advantage to take over. Kennedy pounds in the corner but gets caught in a sunset bomb before it’s off to Jeff for a BIG pop. Rey and Jeff combine for some Poetry in Motion and Kennedy is in trouble.

Scratch that trouble as Jeff runs into an elbow (JBL: “That’ll knock the purple out of your hair!”) and it’s off to MVP. MVP limps a bit which apparently is a fake injury. Or maybe he’s making fun of Matt Hardy. Off to the 550lb Big Daddy V who uses his big fat man offense on Jeff, before stupidly throwing Jeff to the corner for a tag to Kane.

V almost immediately belly to belly suplexes Kane down for two but Kane comes back with some clotheslines in the corner. A top rope clothesline puts V down again but Kane has to chokeslam Finlay. V hits a Samoan Drop and a big elbow on Kane for the upset elimination. HHH comes in and hits the facebuster on the monster but gets caught by a clothesline to shift the momentum right back.

We get the match that everyone is looking forward to in HHH vs. Umaga and the fans don’t react at all. Umaga takes him down with a belly to belly of his own and a headbutt has HHH in trouble. Umaga misses a middle rope headbutt and there’s the hot tag to Rey. Rey pounds away but almost immediately gets knocked down by the other monster. Mysterio goes after the leg but a hurricanrana is just a bad idea. Actually it isn’t as he swings Umaga into the 619, followed by a springboard seated senton for two. Umaga unleashes a BIG SAMOAN SCREAM and hits a spinning release Rock Bottom and the Spike to eliminate Rey.

So it’s all five villains vs. Jeff and HHH, and it’s not that the two superheroes are likely to run through all five and win or anything like that of course. Jeff vs. Kennedy starts things off and Hardy is in trouble quickly. I don’t think Jeff really gets going until he looks like he’s been thrown out of a building though. Jeff comes back with a dropkick but the slingshot dropkick in the corner misses due to an MVP assist. Cole talks about how that’s the second time MVP has caused that move to miss in three days. JBL: “Maybe MVP is just smarter than the Hardys.”

Off to MVP who hooks a chinlock on Jeff which goes on for a while. Jeff fights up but gets gets caught in a fireman’s carry drop. MVP starts talking trash to the fans and walks into a Twist of Fate to make it 4-2. Kennedy is in next and walks into an enziguri, which allows for the tag off to HHH. A high knee sets up a clothesline for two for HHH followed by a spinebuster. HHH sees the human whale known as Big Daddy V coming and avoids an elbow which crushes Kennedy and allows HHH to make it 3-2.

V gets both superheroes on the floor and crushes Hardy against the post to put him down for awhile. Back in the ring HHH and Hardy avoid a charge in the corner and hit a double DDT on V for the elimination. I’ve always wondered how basic moves when a monster is fresh is enough to eliminate them. These guys have no stamina at all.

It’s HHH/Jeff vs. Finlay/Umaga if you’re keeping track. Finlay comes in and pounds away on HHH while JBL talks about how great Finlay is. Finlay goes to the middle rope and jumps into HHH’s boot to put both guys down. Hot tag brings in Jeff for a hard Irish whip into the corner and the slingshot dropkick for two. Jeff goes to the apron and is immediately drilled by Umaga to give the evil foreigners control again. Finlay whips Jeff into the corner but gets caught by a Whisper in the Wind. A mule kick staggers Umaga and there’s the hot tag to HHH to meet Finlay. The high knee puts Finlay down and there’s a spinebuster to follow it up.

The Pedigree is loaded up but Umaga kicks HHH’s head off to break it up. The Celtic Cross (White Noise) is escaped and there’s the Pedigree to make it 2-1. Umaga DESTROYS HHH in the corner but the running attack misses by a mile. The Pedigree and Swanton Bomb connect and we’re done.

Rating: B-. The match was pretty fun stuff but once we got down to 5-2, it was a matter of guessing what order the five were going out in rather than who was going to win. That being said, it’s probably the right move as HHH would move on from Umaga after this and take to feud with Orton. That feud would follow Hardy vs. Orton at the Rumble, so this was definitely a launching pad for the two survivors back to the main event.

Shaquille O’Neal is here.

Hornswoggle is still nervous in the back. Tonight’s match is another of those tough love things from Vince. Speaking of the boss, he comes in and Hornswoggle immediately hugs his leg. This is one of those things that I think WWE missed about Hornswoggle: he acts like a child.

Allow me to lose control for a second. HE HAS A FULL BEARD! THE GUY IS IN HIS TWENTIES! HORNSWOGGLE IS NOT A CHIL……why am I annoyed by this? It’s Hornswoggle. Vince says he made this match because Hornswoggle is a McMahon and therefore has to rise to the occasion. He compares this to his battles with Turner and the US government. Vince gives him a pep talk and Hornswoggle is ready.

Here’s Shane McMahon to the arena, rocking a suit. Shane introduces Vince and apparently they’ll be in the corner of Hornswoggle tonight. Well that’s nice of them. JBL says this is going to be Biblical. Cole: “This isn’t the Bible.”

Hornswoggle vs. Great Khali

Runjin Singh, Khali’s manager, says we should have the wrestlers get together for the reading of the rules. This results in Singh talking over the referee as he translates. The fans want Shaq (Shaquille O’Neal) but they get the bell instead. The fans realize Shaq is here and Vince tells him to sit down. Vince tells the fans he doesn’t care what they want.

Hornswoggle takes off his jacket and hat and kicks Singh in the face. He kicks at the legs of Khali…and wisely runs away. Singh runs his mouth some more and gets GREEN MIST IN THE FACE! Hornswoggle dives on Singh and pounds away before hiding from Khali under the ring. The small guy finds that Irish club and calls Khali in but the stick is of course caught. Khali kicks him down but before the Vice Grip can go on, Finlay runs in for the save and face turn.

Rating: D-. Well, there was at least a purpose so it’s not a total failure. It should have been on Raw though and the whole story really wasn’t the most entertaining. At the end of the day, this is a big comedy angle designed to get……actually I’m not sure who this is designed to get over. Not that it worked anyway but some clarification would be nice.

Finlay beats up Singh and Khali with the club. It would eventually be revealed that Finlay was Hornswoggle’s father, but I’m not quite sure why Vince agreed to the whole thing in storyline.

Alfonso Soriano, a baseball player, is here.

We recap Shawn vs. Orton. Shawn had the title won in a previous match but Orton intentionally got himself disqualified and then punted Shawn to the shelf for a few months. Shawn admitted he wanted revenge but Vince banned the superkick for no apparent reason other than being evil.

Raw World Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Randy Orton

Orton is defending, if Orton gets DQ’ed the title changes, Shawn can get no more shots if he loses, and if Shawn attempts to use the Superkick, he loses the match. Shawn almost immediately goes to the cravate and Orton spends nearly two minutes trying to fight out of it. Now that’s a (European) headlock. Orton escapes in the corner and Shawn raises his leg for the kick but the referee says that wasn’t an attempt. It’s going to be one of those referees I guess.

Orton drops down as Shawn runs the ropes so Shawn gets on Randy’s back and chokes away. The hold switches to a front facelock as they’re spending a lot of time in holds so far. Randy finally gets to the floor where Shawn fakes diving over the top so he can dropkick him through the ropes before faking ANOTHER dive and hitting an Asai moonsault in a good sequence. Back in and Orton rolls through a crossbody for two before hitting an uppercut to take over.

Shawn fights up and throws on the required Sharpshooter until Orton finally makes the rope. Orton comes back with a thumb to the eye and snaps Shawn across the top rope to take over. The Elevated DDT hits for two. It’s off to a chinlock by Orton as the hold marathon continues. It’s not boring or bad but it’s a very different way of going about a match.

Shawn fights back but walks into a dropkick for two. He catches another dropkick in mid air and slams Randy down a few times before hitting the top rope elbow for two. By instinct, Shawn tunes up the band but he fakes Orton out by making him duck and grabs a rollup for two. Brilliant psychology there.

In a move I was shocked to see at the time, Shawn puts on a Crossface. Remember that this is just five months after Benoit so that’s not a move you would have expected to see here. Orton finally gets a leg over the rope and Shawn looks spent from that not working. He tries the hold again but Randy clotheslines his head off for two. Orton hits the backbreaker and loads up the same Punt which kept Shawn out for five months.

Randy gets a running start but Shawn grabs an ankle lock with a grapevine to make Orton scream. Orton uses the good leg to kick Shawn away and break the hold. Why don’t more people do that to Angle? Michaels tries the Figure Four but Orton kicks him into the post. Shawn pulls up the foot for the kick but since he has to stop, Orton hits the RKO for the pin to retain the title.

Rating: B. I was digging the psychology here as Shawn had to come up with all kinds of ways to beat Orton instead of the superkick. It says a lot about Shawn that the only way they could have Orton be able to hang in a fight with him was to take away Shawn’s big move. Orton would hold the title for another five months or so until HHH (of course) took it away from him.

Orton demands that Shawn say Orton is the future but Shawn is pretty out of it. Not out of it enough though as there’s the superkick we were waiting on.

Cole is talking about the main event and SAVE US. For those of you unfamiliar, this was a series of videos that popped up at random on shows with what looked like the Matrix announcing that someone was coming to SAVE US. It would be revealed the next night that it was the return of Chris Jericho.

The Cell is lowered.

We recap Batista vs. Undertaker. Batista lost the belt to Undertaker at Wrestlemania and they feuded for the title on a few PPVs. After a cage match on Smackdown, Edge cashed in the MITB contract and won the title from Undertaker. Later, Edge was hurt and had to vacate the belt, which was won by Khali. Batista eventually beat Khali for the belt and Undertaker came back to challenge him for it.

They fought at Cyber Sunday with Batista winning, which made them 1-1 with a few draws. Undertaker wanted one more match and Batista was perfectly cool with that, but Undertaker wanted it in the Cell. See how that worked? It was a natural progression with the Cell being the FINAL match between them (one on one at least). That’s a logical progression that you rarely get anymore.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. Undertaker

Batista is defending. Undertaker charges to start and is caught in a headlock before getting run over by Big Dave. Undertaker shrugs it off and tries an early chokeslam but Batista fights out of it. This is one of those feuds where you don’t bother with the basic stuff and go with the big power moves because that’s all that’s going to have any effect. Undertaker clotheslines him down and pounds away in the corner. We’re still in the early going here so this doesn’t mean a lot yet.

The Snake Eyes and big boot get two for Undertaker and it’s already chair time. Batista hits a BIG spear to take Undertaker down and gets the chair. That goes badly for the champ as Undertaker kicks the chair back into his face and gets two off a clothesline. They head outside and Undertaker keeps control with a solid shot into the steps. Batista gets raked against the Cell and there’s the legdrop on the apron.

To stay on the throat, Undertaker puts the chair over Batista’s throat and slams the bottom of the chair into the steps. The champ is bleeding from the mouth now. Back in and Undertaker covers by driving a forearm into the throat. Undertaker is kind of the heel in this match, which says A LOT about how over Batista was here. Back in, Undertaker loads up Old School but Batista catches him in the spinebuster in a cool counter.

They slug it out and Batista takes over with a clothesline that gets two. Batista hits a powerslam and takes it back to the floor. They’ve done a solid job here of having both guys dominate for a long stretch which usually works well for a big time match. Undertaker whips Batista into the Cell to take over again so maybe what I just said is nonsense. Batista gets rammed head first into the steel and things are starting to pick up.

A chair shot keeps Batista down and the champ is cut open on the forehead. Batista blocks Old School again and hits a superplex to put both guys down. As Batista is crawling over to him, the Dead Man tries the Hell’s Gate (triangle choke) but it’s not on full. Batista makes the rope and heads to the floor for a breather, setting up the Undertaker Dive over the top rope.

Undertaker picks up the steps and tries to ram Batista with them, but the champ pulls himself up using the cage and kicks them back into Undertaker’s face. Batista picks up the steps and just rams Undertaker in the head with them four or five times to draw blood. Back in and Batista does the stupid thing of punching Undertaker in the corner and gets a Last Ride for his efforts. That only gets two and the pop isn’t huge from the crowd. They know we’re getting A LOT of finishers before a pin here.

There’s a chokeslam but it only gets two. The Tombstone is countered into a spinebuster for two and there’s another spinebuster for good measure. It’s table time and Batista easily powerbombs him through it….for two. There’s the pop from the crowd on the kickout that we were looking for. Now the Animal loads up the steps but Undertaker backdrops him onto said steps for two. The Tombstone hits….for two again, making Batista one of a handful of people to survive the Last Ride, Tombstone and a chokeslam.

Undertaker KILLS Batista with a Tombstone on the steps but someone pulls the referee out of the ring at two. It’s the returning Edge, who I presume was hiding under the ring the whole time. He steals a camera and clocks Undertaker with it before hitting a Conchairto on the steps. Batista has no idea this is going on after the Tombstone. Edge pulls the champ on top and the pin is pretty much academic.

Rating: B+. This was very good but it never quite got to that level that they were hoping for it to I don’t think. The problem is this was match was based on respect instead of hatred which takes a lot out of a match like this. Edge would win the title in a triple threat next month and eventually lose it to Undertaker at Wrestlemania.

After the Cell is raised, Edge beats on Undertaker some more to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. This was a nice surprise. The Tag Team Title match is some uninspired stuff but other than that (ignoring the non-match between Khali and Hornswoggle) there’s nothing bad on here at all. The Divas match is what it is and if the worst thing I have to do is look at Kelly Kelly and Maria in barely there shorts for five minutes, I’ve got a good show on my hands. The big matches delivered and the other matches aren’t bad so this is a solid show all around and worth checking out.

Ratings Comparison

CM Punk vs. John Morrison vs. The Miz

Original: B-

Redo: C

Mickie James/Maria/Torrie Wilson/Michelle McCool/Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix/Melina/Jillian Hall/Victoria/Layla

Original: D

Redo: D

Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch vs. Hardcore Holly/Cody Rhodes

Original: D

Redo: C-

Team HHH vs. Team Umaga

Original: C-

Redo: B-

Great Khali vs. Hornswoggle

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Randy Orton vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: D+

Redo: B

Batista vs. Undertaker

Original: A-

Redo: B+

Overall Rating

Original: B-

Redo: B

The main thing I’ve learned about myself from these redos is that I was a lot looser with my grades back then. The redo grades here are a lot more toned down and it’s a bit harder to please me now.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/16/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-2007-batista-vs-undertaker-in-the-cell/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Survivor Series 2007
Date: November 18, 2007
Location: American Airlines Arena, Miami, Florida
Attendance: 12,000
Commentators: Tazz, JBL, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross, Joey Styles

With another year comes not a lot of change. Orton is world champion here having taken out HHH for the belt at No Mercy in their first last man standing match. Tonight he takes on HBK in another of his random filler feuds before Cena gets back from injury. The Game is the other major player on Raw (shocking isn’t it?) as he’s feuding with Umaga for your Survivor Series match of the night.

Over on Smackdown, we only have one big match, but it’s a major one as Taker is challenging Batista for the world title in a Hell in a Cell match. If nothing else they’re keeping it big. Oh and one other thing: Hornswoggle is Vince’s son now.

Yes, that painfully stupid and bad storyline has finally begun as he’s already dropped the Cruiserweight Title because Vince doesn’t like small wrestlers. Finally, we have my boy Punk defending his ECW Title against the newly crowned tag team champions of Miz and Morrison. That should be good. Let’s get it started.

Hey, take a wild guess as to what the opening video is about. If you guessed Survival, you’re of about average intelligence as the show is called Survivor Series. If you guessed that it sucked, then you’ve been paying attention to my reviews. Yep, this is nothing of note. We’re starting with the ECW Title match, so the first two voices that we hear are Joey and Tazz. Surprisingly we don’t hear their colleagues yet, which is odd indeed.

ECW Title: CM Punk vs. John Morrison vs. The Miz

Punk took the belt off of Morrison and Miz said he wanted it. That’s about all I’ve got for you here as far as a backstory since ECW back then was even less developed than it is now if you can believe that. Oh yeah. And they were thrown together on Smackdown (literally) and given a tag title shot because two guys that are thrown together that hate each other are light years ahead of all the other great tag teams on Smackdown right?

See what kind of shape the division was in around this time? Somehow this wasn’t even the worst it would be. However, these two would be pretty much the best team in a good long while and will likely be that for a good long while. Also, around this time there was a big thing about how Miz couldn’t wrestle. A buddy of mine and I said just give him time. I’m writing this in mid-October, two days after being completely blown away by a segment these two did at a Smackdown taping I was at.

Now as of this writing, it hasn’t made air in America yet. I’ll be most interested in seeing how many people are saying how awesome he is after that. Styles goes through all of the combinations that could result in Punk losing his title which is somewhere between interesting and filler. You might think that this is a handicap match, but it really isn’t. These two don’t get along yet and while they’ll double team for awhile, it’s usually very short indeed.

I’ve always loved that suicide dive that Punk does. He does the WHAT’S MY NAME thing that worked so well in ROH but never caught on in WWE. To be fair though, the crowd starts a big CM Punk chant. My goodness this guy was over. After beating on Punk as a team for awhile, Miz and Morrison break up again, maybe over one of them not doing the dishes or something. Good night Morrison does some amazing stuff out there.

He still does the same kind of stuff today but dang this was impressive stuff back then too. We get a glimpse of Miz vs. Morrison her but it’s nothing really that special. Punk hits a backbreaker that used to be called Welcome to Chicago M’Fer which has been changed for obvious reasons. Following some miscommunication from the new tag team, Punk hits the GTS on Miz for the pin.

Rating: B-. It got the crowd going a bit, but at the same time there was never any real drama in this at all. That’s fine though, as I don’t think there was really supposed to be. Sometimes you need to just have a match to get some ring time for the champion and have a decent match out of it. It makes the champion look stronger and saves the showdown for later on. This was just fine.

We get a recap of MVP hurting Matt’s leg and putting him out of the Survivor Series match later tonight. MVP had a big C on his outfit back then. He was CMVP. Oh that’s just awesome. Anyway, now we go to the back where some interviewer that I don’t recognize is talking to him. He’s REALLY bad on promos at this point.

Face Divas vs. Heel Divas

Faces: Mickie, Maria, Torrie, Michelle, Kelly
Heels: Beth, Jillian, Melina, Layla, Victoria

This is your token Diva match of the night. Torrie has what is now Tiffany’s music. Basically, around this time the only face Diva that can wrestle at all is Mickie. There’s no story here at all as this could just as easily have been on Raw. Thankfully this isn’t elimination style. We start with the almost too hot Victoria against Michelle. Ok, the Divas yelling at each other is REALLY annoying. Kelly is in essence in a swimsuit with sleeves.

To show the brilliance on display here, Torrie has Victoria down and leaves her there to run across the ring and get a tag. That’s tag wrestling 101 there and she can’t get that right. Even trying to pull Victoria back to Torrie’s corner would have worked. Whatever let’s just get this over with. Jillian is in now and for some reason rubs Kelly’s face in her chest. Wow. Anyway, we get the obligatory handspring elbow, which is the most impressive athletic maneuver there is.

It’s so impressive that nearly every Diva does it. Dang will you STOP WITH THE FREAKING SCREAMS? CAN YOU IMAGINE HOW FREAKING ANNOYING IT WOULD BE TO HAVE SOMEONE THAT SCREAMED EVERY TIME THEY OPENED THEIR FREAKING MOUTH? IT WOULD BE SO FREAKING….never mind. JR actually makes a bit of a comparison of Kelly and the Great Muta. I’m at a lost for keystrokes. All of the heels are wearing some form of red. Is that some messed up team unity thing?

Mickie comes in and attempts to save this match. Mickie hits the sexiest move in wrestling history, The Long Kiss Goodnight, to get the win. It was a move where she grabbed the other girl’s hair and actually bent her back and kissed her before kicking her in the face. Why do I have a feeling that’s Norcal’s dream date? Oh and Michelle fell out during the match. Nothing special.

Rating: D. That’s half of what this match was all about. The other letter is also D. Yep, this was all about looks here. If you don’t believe me, look at Kelly and Maria’s outfits. They’re just there for looks and nothing more. This was just bad and showed how awful the majority of the women were at the time. At least it was short and the girls looked good.

Orton says he’ll win.

Shawn says he’ll win. Well I’m glad they’re in agreement that he’ll win. Shawn looks stoned here and actually swears. That’s surprising.

Raw Tag Titles: Cade and Murdoch vs. Holly and Rhodes

Please…make it short. This was the token title feud of the month as the faces were thrown together over respect or something and instantly were number one contenders. The problem with the tag title picture was simple: Miz and Morrison were thrown together and won the tag belts. Holly and Rhodes were thrown together and won the tag belts. Do I need to explain why this was such a complete and utter failure for so long?

The reunification has helped a good bit lately, but they’re still in desperate need of help. With a roster as big as they have, it really wouldn’t be hard to get a few teams together and put some stories out there. Think of all the guys on the roster that never do anything but could have decent matches. The stuff is there, trust me.

Could Cade be any more generic? Hey! Buy Armageddon so we can validate our completely stupid PPV schedule. Holly and Rhodes won a triple threat vs. Londrick and the Highlanders to get here on Heat of all places. DAng it’s weird to see Rhodes as such a rookie like this. Rhodes and Cade start us off. Rhodes has bulked up a bit since this.

Rhodes literally slaps Murdoch on the back. That sounded sick too. Holly in now who takes down Murdoch. Holly does his low kick that isn’t really low but really looks like it is while the other guy is on the ropes. The champions are in trouble here. Double teaming gets the advantage back to the rednecks.

Cade takes Holly down to prevent he tag as this is just DRAGGING. There’s no reason for this to be on PPV but it is anyway because that’s how tag wrestling in this company works. There’s your heel miscommunication so that Rhodes can come in. And then that doesn’t work as he hits a missile dropkick for two and walks into Melina’s finisher (the sunset bomb thing) from Murdoch to retain.

Rating: D. This was just bad. Just like the match before it, there was no need to have it on PPV. Neither team stands out at all and there’s just nothing special about it. It’s not any good at all so there’s no way to say it’s anything but bad by default. Horrible match and everything that’s wrong with tag wrestling in this era. Holly and Rhodes would get the titles a few weeks later.

Team HHH says that they’re going to do some terrible things to the other team. In a very funny bit, Kane and Jeff mention all the things that HHH has done to them over the years. That’s just amusing. Jeff is taller than I thought he was.

After a too short to tell what’s going on recap of the Survivor Series match, we’re ready to go.

Team HHH vs. Team Umaga

HHH, Kane, Jeff Hardy, Rey Mysterio
Umaga, Big Daddy V, Kennedy, Finlay, MVP

Matt is injured remember, so it’s starting as a handicap match.

I love the way Justin Roberts talks. In what cracked me up, Kennedy comes out to do his standard intro and the mic doesn’t work. About halfway through it kicks on mid word. That’s just hilarious. Big Daddy V is in desperate need of a shirt. MVP needs to bring back the counting part of his music. It’s so much better that way. Let’s see: the most successful heel here is….MVP I guess? Maybe Umaga?

On the other side, we have four former/future world champions. Oh yeah this is going to be a great contest here. Kane’s pyro is some of the loudest stuff you will ever hear in your life. It’s insanely loud. Rey’s song really is catchy when it’s all you’re hearing in the arena. Jeff has his old music here. The start of his singles run would be in less than two months as he would fight Orton for the title at the Rumble. He’s IC Champion here.

Oh yeah the feuds. HHH vs. Umaga, Kane vs. BDV, Jeff vs. no one in particular, Rey vs. Finlay, Matt vs. MVP so I guess Jeff gets Kennedy and MVP by default. We’re now at ten minutes of entrances. We start off with Kennedy and Rey, so an overrated guy that’s good but nowhere near as good as he is made out to be vs. Kennedy. This is pretty decent stuff here as Kennedy for once gets to show what he can do, which isn’t bad.

He’s not the next Austin but he’s not bad at all. Rey does in essence the same move that Murdoch won with earlier, using that pesky thing known as the right way. JR says that Hardy has D. Wade like hang time. That just doesn’t sound right at all. BDV comes in to beat on Hardy for awhile since we need jobbers out there for awhile.

We move on to Kane vs. BDV which was a feud at the moment, so look for a big pinfall here. Kane hits the big clothesline from the top to put him down for a bit as this is really just no sell theater.

Following a little interference from Finlay the Samoan Drop ends the Big Red Machine to make it 5-3. Again, Kane jobs. Some things never change. The facebuster from HHH simply couldn’t miss more than it does here. We get HHH vs. Umaga here, which I guess was supposed to be a big deal? It’s just coming off as weak to me, but whatever.

After HHH (which I accidentally spelled as HGH for a bit there in a funny moment) gets beaten down, Rey comes in and after making Umaga look ridiculously bad, goes out to the Spike, leaving us with 5-2. I can smell the comeback coming from a mile away. We start this part with Jeff vs. Kennedy, which would have been an interesting feud had various things not happened. After a missed Drive By, Jeff gets a quick Twist of Fate to make it 4-2.

Kennedy is taken out after something that looks like it came out of a Three Stooges short with all of the blunders by the heels. HHH gets the pin. We move on to Viscera vs. HHH since I guess the fat man had to get something done that night. A double DDT takes him out to get us to 2-2 and you can see the ending coming from here. In probably the biggest thing of his career, Finlay beats on HHH for awhile before the tag to Hardy brings the crowd back a bit.

Once the terrible twosome were all that was left, this match started going downhill fast. This needs to end, like now. After a lot of token offense from Finlay, HHH comes in and takes care of Finlay. Cole tries to build Finlay as an equal to HHH. That’s just amusing. About 44 seconds later, the Pedigree leads to the Swanton which leads to the end of this way too long match. The face team of the gods celebrate for awhile before we’re done.

Rating: C-. This is a tale of two grades here. Before we got down to the final two faces, this was pretty good. After that, the whole thing just fell apart because there was zero chance that the faces weren’t both going to survive. Kane and Rey were just filler out there and everyone knew it. The first part is good, the second part is just bland. It got Jeff over though, which was the main goal of the whole thing.

Vince tells Horny not to die. That’s just funny.

Hornswoggle vs. Great Khali

You know the story so let’s get this over with. Vince and Shane are with Horny here. When I grow up, I want to be one of Runjin Singh’s sideburns. They do the rule thing just to add more hijinks to this. The fans chant We Want Shaq. Ok then. Oh yeah this is Miami when Shaq was on the Heat. That makes sense now. Oh and Shaq is in the front row. See what happens when I pay attention? Vince grabs a mic and says he doesn’t care what the fans want.

At least he’s honest. Horny runs once Khali screams at him. For some reason he spits mist at Singh who doesn’t do anything but stand there with a what the heck look on his face. Well thanks for that buddy. The club that Horny grabs is knocked away and then Khali smacks him. This needs to end like now.

The joke is over and has been for a long time. Just as I say that, Finlay runs out and hits Khali with the club to make the save for the DQ. The fact that Finlay would be revealed as the real father was about as obvious as possible at this point.

Rating: N/A. It was a joke, not a match.

We hit the recap button on HBK vs. Orton. This is pretty simple. Orton was on a punting spree and one of his first targets was Michaels. The night after Orton beat HHH at No Mercy there was this big ceremony for him which ended in Shawn returning in what was a cool moment. They had a match at Cyber Sunday where Orton got himself disqualified. That led to this, where Shawn can’t use the superkick and Orton can lose the belt via DQ. That’s about it.

Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. Shawn Michaels

Lillian looks great with her hair pulled back. Ross takes a small shot at FOX News, so at least some things never change. Orton hasn’t started hearing voices yet. Oh and the belt still spins. This is Shawn’s second PPV in 5 months. Shocking isn’t it that he more or less took the summer off after Mania. He would never do anything like that again would he? Dang that spinning belt looks like crap. It’s scary that today the belt looks about 100x better.

We get the old school ceremony of the referee checking the boots and pads etc. I love the little things like that because they can enhance a match so much. Shawn starts off with a lockup known as a Crevate. Now most of you have likely never heard of that. It’s a European style headlock but not quite. More or less you look like you’re setting for a snapmare but you grip like it’s a headlock. It’s really a cool idea and there’s a lot of stuff you can go with from that position.

Chris Hero is well known for using a ton of varieties of things like it. They go to a LONG headlock/front chancery sequence that has the crowd on the edge of unconsciousness. Finally we hit the floor for a bit where Shawn hits a picture perfect Asai Moonsault to knock Orton down. The commentators try to argue that Shawn is using a different style here because he’s not allowed to use the kick. That makes ZERO sense.

Think about it. Shawn’s finishing move is a kick to the head. What kind of setup does that require? All it takes is one second and some accuracy and he’ll knock you out. It’s not a wear down move like a figure four where going for it immediately makes no sense. It’s a move that can be hit from nowhere. Think of the Iron Man match.

He hit back to back kicks from nowhere to win his first world title. Here’s your “it’s Survivor Series so Shawn has to reference Montreal with a Sharpshooter” Sharpshooter. This has been all Shawn so far. Say it with me: as I type that Orton takes over.

Orton is very boring. That’s all there is to it. However, since he looks like a statue and can cut decent promos, Vince decides to keep putting him in big matches with this ridiculous Viper gimmick which more or less consists of him sliding around the ring before the RKO. It’s an excuse for not having to come up with something creative. Orton vs. Cena and HHH is about as boring of a pair of feuds as you’re ever going to find.

JR then has the nerve to say that this is a pure wrestling match. No Jim, it’s really not. This is a match that has an extra gimmick added to it because no one in their right mind believed that HBK would lose to Orton without it. Orton is just flat out awful in this gimmick of his and something needs to be changed, fast. Naturally, that means that Orton will be the same guy going into Mania 30. Oh look it’s a chinlock. What is the appeal of this?

To be fair, Orton is a bit better now, but around this time he was just flat out boring. Now he’s just mostly boring. Ok, for the love of goodness, WE GET THAT ORTON’S DAD IS IN THE HALL OF FAME! He was a horrible character and did nothing of note, ever. He’s another great example of the Hall of Fame being a complete joke. Anyway, Shawn initiates the ending sequence but gets dropkicked with one of three moves Orton can actually do really well.

In what’s a pretty cool move, Shawn sets for the superkick and fakes Orton out to get him to drop down so Shawn can hook a small package. That was really smart and makes perfect sense. In something that really surprises me, Shawn uses a crossface. This is a mere four months after Benoit and in the middle of the investigation into his death. I guess that this was before the whole thing came out. Michaels goes even crazier by putting on an ankle lock. Man he’s going nuts here.

He gets the heel hook but Orton gets out. DAng , Orton is better with submission than Lesnar is. Something occurs to me. If Orton gets disqualified, HBK gets the belt right? Why doesn’t Shawn get one of his buddies to come out and blast him with a chair or something? Man this face thing getting in the way of something that makes sense.

As he goes for a figure four, Shawn is kicked into the post. After a very brief counter, the RKO ends it. Afterwards Orton yells at Shawn and picks him up, naturally getting kicked in the head before Shawn leaves. Well that was a pretty basic ending.

Rating: D+. I get that some people would like this match, but I just could not get into it at all. There’s no drama, there’s one decent looking spot with the moonsault, there are tons of dead spots, and the whole thing just falls short. There just was no reason at all to watch this, plain and simple. They weren’t going to put the belt on Shawn so quick. Earlier tonight in the Punk match you had a good match that was a token defense.

This is the same, but this was far more boring. It’s a great example of a good match like this and a bad one. Jericho would come back in less than a month to save Raw and have more bland matches with Orton. Vince, get it through your head: two surefire hall of fame wrestlers in Jericho and Shawn can only pull ok matches out of Orton. That simply can’t be a coincidence.

Recap of Batista vs. Taker: they’ve fought a bunch of times and split most of them, but they just think the other is a swell guy. Yep, that’s about it.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. Undertaker

Remember this is Hell in a Cell. Taker is the challenger here. JBL actually does some good analysis of what both guys need to do to win. He then ruins that by saying “oh that’s a clothesline!” Well thanks for that great brilliance there Johnny boy. Naturally Batista isn’t afraid of Taker. Less than three minutes in we have a chair brought in from under the ring. Or would it be out from under the ring? Whatever. Taker controls the majority of the opening part of the match.

Batista takes a chair shot to the throat and has some faint blood from his mouth. I know there’s not much being said here but the opening to this is solid which makes it difficult to make fun of. They’re trying to play up the experience/skill of Taker vs. pure power of Batista. That’s not a bad idea at all. As usual the rules of where you can pin someone here change per match, but I’d assume that it’s only in the ring. Cole implies it’s falls count anywhere.

They’re focusing a lot more on wrestling here than violence, which is fine. There’s certainly more than one way to have a good cell match and this is one of those options. Taker gets the Triangle Choke and Batista starts waving his arm and slapping the mat which looks a lot like tapping to me. He gets the ropes which apparently is a rope break. Even the announcers say that’s not correct. Batista is bleeding horribly.

After Batista gets some weapons shots in to take control, he gets caught in the Last Ride for two. This is a good match. The chokeslam gets two. He goes for the Tombstone but Batista does the leg wiggle of doom to get out and hit a spinebuster to take over again. A table is brought in as I begin to think: do those really help? I mean think about it. They kind of break your fall.

When you’re in a move like a powerbomb or something, the impact of the move is based on the amount of momentum built up when you’re coming down right? Well if there’s a table there blocking your way, doesn’t it stop a lot of the momentum? The impact of going through the table would hurt, but since you keep going anyway, it’s not going to hurt that much. Think of it like this: what hurts worse, taking a short ride and falling through a table, or taking a long ride and landing on something solid?

It doesn’t make a lot of sense to me, but I guess it can look good or something like that. Now we get to something else that’s kind of stupid. Batista sets up the table and hits a regular powerbomb through it (they call it the Batista Bomb but I can let that one go). If he had Taker that weakened, why not just hit the regular Batista Bomb and not give Taker the extra recovery time? Batista kicks out of the Tombstone, which makes him the second guy ever (Shawn at Mania 25) to kick out of all three finishers.

Shawn took it a step further though as he got out of Hell’s Gate as well. A Tombstone of the stairs should do it but the cameraman pulls the referee out and of course it’s Edge, returning from whatever injury he was out with. A camera shot to the head of Taker followed by a conchairto and Batista keeps the belt. Seriously, that’s the ending? Edge posing takes us out.

Rating: A-. This was a very good match until the ending. These guys have some solid chemistry together and showed it off tonight. Most Cell matches have zero story to them but this one did, which goes to show that you can have good wrestling and storytelling in a match like this and include weapons and blood.

That’s a big flaw in a lot of gimmick matches today: they forget they’re wrestling and just have high spots. Edge interfering really brings this down though as I wanted a clean win for someone. This was very good though and easily the best match at Survivor Series in a good while.

Overall Rating: B-. This is another example of a show where the grades don’t give an accurate representation of the whole show. I know I graded a lot of them low, but at the same time the whole show turned out to be pretty good I thought. The main event helped a lot as it was an excellent match. It goes to show you what a main event is capable of.

I know some people are going to think I’m an idiot for my Shawn vs. Orton grade, but the issue I have is simple: it was overbooked. Seriously, does a guy like Shawn need gimmicks in order to get over? You tell him how long he has and the finish and let him take care of the rest. The show certainly isn’t bad, but it’s hardly a classic. Batista and Taker is worth going out of your way to see, but while the rest is certainly good, it’s not must see. Recommended though.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 17, 2007
Location: Sommet Center, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Another request for reasons I’m not clear on. It’s the night after Unforgiven and John Cena is still Raw World Champion, believe it or not. We’re on the way to No Mercy and Randy Orton isn’t likely to leave Cena alone. I’m not sure what to expect from this and that’s often a nice feeling to have. Let’s get to it.

The opening recap looks at Orton attacking Cena’s father, including giving him the Punt. That caused Cena Sr. to Punt Orton last night, setting up another Cena vs. Orton showdown, this time in a Last Man Standing match.

Here’s Cena to get things going with….an apology. It’s true that he has been having some pent up aggression lately, but tonight he feels FABULOUS! Last night he lost to Randy Orton, which just kind of rolls off the tongue. He needs to thank his dad for being so brave and showing up like a great dad would. Orton is stupid enough to think that Cena was stupid enough to get disqualified last night, just to set up a rematch.

That brings him to Jonathan Coachman, who has given Orton just what he wants: a Last Man Standing match at No Mercy. That means no rules, no pinfalls and no disqualifications. What he did to Orton last night will be perfectly legal so he’s going through Orton like a hot knife through butter. Cue Coach to say he isn’t happy with Cena, so tonight it’s Orton vs. Cena…..Sr. JR: “This cannot be right!”

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Shelton Benjamin

Jeff is defending and is banged up after being taken out by Great Khali last week. Hardy starts fast with the legdrop between the legs for two and we hit the armbar. Shelton reverses into one of his own but gets put on the apron and kicked out to the floor. A dive to the floor hits Shelton and we take a break. Back with Shelton holding a seated abdominal stretch and then grabbing a hot shot for two.

A running knee to the face sets up a neckbreaker for two more on Hardy and we hit the chinlock. That doesn’t last long as Hardy pops up for a double clothesline to put them both down again. Back up and the Whisper in the Wind connects but the Twist of Fate is countered into a backbreaker. Hardy’s suplex is countered into a reverse DDT for two so Shelton takes him up top. This time the superplex attempt is blocked though and the Swanton retains the title.

Rating: B-. Good stuff here, as was commonplace for Hardy around this time. He was rapidly becoming a bigger and bigger star as the title did so much for him. It wasn’t surprising to see him move up to the World Title scene shortly after this, and it was certainly a big hit when he moved up to the next level.

The Diva Search girls played beach volleyball. Oh and had a limbo contest on WWE.com. At least they kept it short.

Coach comes to see Vince McMahon in his limo because the boss isn’t happy about his illegitimate son Hornswoggle, who is restrained in a car seat and eating his Lucky Charms. It’s because he’s a child you see, with Coach carrying him away.

Cena Sr. insists he is wrestling tonight.

Vince and Coach hear Irish music in his office, and there are several boxes of Lucky Charms, green and white balloons, and more music playing. Hornswoggle pops out of a pile of coins, shouts HI DAD, and throws them at Coach before running away. Vince meets a donkey with a horn strapped to its head.

Daivari vs. Jim Duggan

Flag match, with the flags hanging above the ring and the winner being the first to pull it down. Daivari gets slammed off the top for daring to go after the flag but Duggan gets stopped as well. They fight to the top with Duggan sending him into the flag pole, which sends Daivari crashing to the floor so Duggan can win.

Cody Rhodes volunteers to face Orton in Cena Sr.’s place. Coach says no but Cena Jr. says he won’t be responsible if that match isn’t called off. Actually Coach isn’t done yet, and puts him in a match with an opponent of Coach’s choosing. If Cena wins, his dad is out of the match. Otherwise, the match goes on.

Here’s Vince to discuss his son Hornswoggle, who comes out for some dancing. Vince doesn’t like that, but Hornswoggle does seem to like the idea of inheriting some of Vince’s fortune. The point that Vince wants to make is that money doesn’t buy happiness…..so a nice couple is adopting Hornswoggle!

Cue Ed and Alice Koskey, with their attorney of course, but Hornswoggle says don’t do it. Ed is quickly pantsed and choked (JR: “HE’S HAD TOO MUCH CHOCOLATE!”), followed by a bite to Alice. The Koskeys leave and Vince tells Hornswoggle to get out of his life. Cue HHH to a big ovation, so Vince tells the fans to shut up. HHH takes credit for decorating Vince’s office (HHH: “Do you know how hard it is to find a unicorn in Nashville, Tennessee?”) and says he knew Vince liked trolls, but not fairies and hobgoblins.

Vince: “I’ve never slept with fairies!” HHH: “That’s not what I read on the internet.” HHH makes various short jokes so Vince asks if he’s finished. HHH: “That’s the same thing Hornswoggle’s mom asked you the night you slipped her the shillelagh?” Various jokes about the night with Hornswoggle’s mom ensue so Vince makes a handicap match for right now.

HHH vs. Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch

Cade and Murdoch’s Tag Team Titles aren’t on the line. Joined in progress with HHH shoving Murdoch out to the floor but Carlito comes out for a distraction so Cade can hit a running neckbreaker. Murdoch grabs a Blockbuster for two as the fans are all over Carlito. The chinlock doesn’t last long and the comeback is on with HHH cleaning house. Murdoch is sent outside and it’s the spinebuster to finish Cade in a hurry.

Rating: D+. That’s how you treat your Tag Team Champions of course, but that’s almost the kind of thing you’re guaranteed to see from WWE. They haven’t thought much of the titles for a long time and while HHH is far from some fluke win, it’s very rarely a good sign to see the champs lose clean in a short match.

Post match Carlito comes in to go after HHH but Paul London and Brian Kendrick run out for the save. HHH beats up everyone, including London and Kendrick.

Melina/Jillian Hall vs. Candice Michelle/Mickie James

Candice is Women’s Champion and Beth Phoenix, who she beat last night, is at ringside. Mickie kicks Melina in the ribs to start but Jillian shoves her off the top so Melina can take over. Some shots to the head allow Mickie to get over for the hot tag to Candice. House is cleaned until Jillian gets in a cheap shot from behind. That’s about it though as Candice grabs the Candy Wrapper (Unprettier) to finish Jillian in a hurry.

Post match, Beth hands Candice the title and gives her a threatening glare.

We look at the Condemned, starring Steve Austin.

Coach says he has disposed of Hornswoggle and Vince is a proud papa. Vince goes to leave….and Hornswoggle is in the trunk.

John Cena vs. ???

It’s non-title and Coach’s pick for an opponent is….Santino Marella? Cena wastes no time and hits the Shuffle in less than thirty seconds but here’s Orton to jump Cena for the DQ in less than a minute.

Post match Orton and Santino (there’s an oddball tag team) beat Cena down and handcuff Cena to the ropes. Cue Coach to say that Cena didn’t quite get the idea: he had to win by PINFALL, so Orton vs. Cena Sr. is still on.

Randy Orton vs. John Cena Sr.

For some reason, Orton walks to the back for the commercial and then comes back for the regular entrance. Cena Jr. is still handcuffed to the rope as Orton knees his dad in the ribs. The beatdown is on until Cody Rhodes runs in for the DQ.

Post match Orton sends Cody into the steps and RKO’s Cena Sr. but Jr. unhooks the bottom rope to escape. Orton is chased off and Cena checks on his dad to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. There wasn’t much in the way of wrestling tonight but I was intrigued by the story they were telling throughout most of the show. The Cena stuff is a good story and makes me want to see Cena tear Orton apart. The problem is that other than the Cena story and Hardy vs. Benjamin, this was a pretty horrible show from a time that isn’t very fondly remembered. Good enough show for the two parts, but that’s all they had here. Oh and HHH’s leprechaun jokes to Vince were funny too, but I have a soft spot for how horribly stupid that whole story was.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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These are always interesting days.Hornswoggle – Not exactly an important deal.  He’s a background/comedy character at best and hasn’t been around in forever.

Zeb Colter – Same, though he should have been brought back as someone’s manager.  The guy can still talk and has so much knowledge and experience.

Alex Riley – Arguably the biggest name gone but he hasn’t meant anything in years either.  It’s a shame too as he had so much potential after that Miz feud.

There could be more names later today so stick around.