Battle Of The WWF Superstars II
Commentators: Sean Mooney, Lord Alfred Hayes
Host: Sean Mooney

This is another Coliseum Video and much like a good many of them, it really doesn’t have a theme. The previous edition was only notable for Sean Mooney doing a really bad Patton impression so hopefully they have something better this time around. You never can tell with these things though so let’s get to it.

This is from the summer of 1991.

We open with a preview of some WrestleFest 91. Randy Savage jumps in to say he’ll be hosting the tape, which wasn’t very good.

Sean Mooney is indeed the host again and the Patton stuff continues, thankfully without the voice.

We see Mooney driving up to meet his troops, promising them a lot of action.

From Orlando, Florida, February 18, 1991.

Intercontinental Title: Mr. Perfect vs. Roddy Piper

Perfect, with Bobby Heenan, is defending and this should be good. They take their time to start with Perfect spitting gum into Piper’s face, earning himself a beating out to the floor. The chase gets Perfect back inside so Piper puts the referee in the corner to start the fight. That has Perfect bailing out to the floor again before coming back inside to lose a slugout. Piper even grabs Perfect’s singlet to hold him in place for more right hands.

The singlet is ripped off, leaving Perfect in regular trunks for a weird look. Piper gets up for a double clothesline but can’t follow up, allowing Perfect to putt he singlet on again. Back up and Perfect starts choking before kicking away at the ribs. A dropkick puts Piper on the apron and it’s time to remove a turnbuckle pad. That’ll be for later apparently as they go to the pinfall reversal sequence, before a kickout crushes the referee.

Piper is sent into the exposed buckle, allowing the PerfectPlex to (eventually) get two. Another ram into the buckle is blocked and they go outside, with Piper ramming him into the steps a few times. Piper finds a belt for some whipping but Perfect sends him into the barricade. Perfect goes up top but gets crotched back out to the floor, allowing Piper to beat the count for the win at 12:18.

Rating: B. This is a case where it wasn’t about the action, which was just ok, but rather having a hot crowd and playing along with them. Piper and Perfect knew exactly what to do here and it wound up working so well. Piper could got so much out of so little and when he had someone as good as Perfect to boost it up, things got even better. Very fun match here, even if it was mostly goofy.

From New York City, New York, January 21, 1991.

Nasty Boys vs. Bushwhackers

This is the Fan Favorite match, meaning a fan requested it, and for once I can kind of believe that. Jimmy Hart is here with the Nastys as Luke and Knobbs start things off. Knobbs bails into the corner to start and everything breaks down in a hurry. The brawl sees the Nastys cleared to the ring so whacking can ensue. Back in and Sags takes over on Butch to slow things down a bit. It’s quickly back to Luke and some Battering Rams clear the ring and it’s time to march.

We settle back down to Sags getting in a chair shot to Luke so the villains can actually take over for a change. Butch is drawn in, allowing some elbows to keep Luke down. The big elbow in the corner misses for Sags though and the tag brings Butch in to clean house. Everything breaks down and Luke makes a save, only for Sags to elbow Butch and give Knobbs the pin at 7:48.

Rating: D. And then we go back in the other direction with this drek. This was every bit as bad as you would have expected, with the Bushwhackers doing their comedy and the Nastys doing their best to sell it. The problem is neither team can do much other than brawling and this was more about the comedy, which made for a rough match.

From New York City, New York, November 24, 1990.

Bret Hart vs. Barbarian

Hart is half of the Tag Team Champions at this point and it feels like these two fought a dozen times on Coliseum Video. Barbarian powers him down to start and kicks him in the head. Hart’s attempt at a comeback sees him tossed into the corner but he avoids the rope walk elbow. That lets Hart’s middle rope elbow connect and there’s the running clothesline for two more. Barbarian is right back with a powerslam before he blocks a piledriver. Instead he sits down on Hart and poses, allowing Hart to get the sunset flip for the pin at 4:10.

Rating: C. You could more or less guarantee that was going to be the finish, if nothing else due to how many times they did the EXACT SAME THING. The match itself was fine, but what are you supposed to do with a match this short? This felt like “get Hart on the card on his own” more than anything else, which was fine.

And now, trivia, asked by wrestlers! Well some of them at least.

1. What was the official symbol for Hulk Hogan’s return against Earthquake?

2. What tag team was known as the “Pink & Black Attack?”

3. Why was the Big Boss Man mad at Bobby Heenan?

4. What is Mr. Perfect’s finishing move?

5. What caused Jake Roberts to lose his vision?

Not exactly tricky here.

From Orlando, Florida, February 18, 1991.

Jake Roberts vs. Kato

Mr. Fuji and Tanaka are here too. Roberts is in some weird blue/yellow tights and that’s a very strange look for him. An early wristlock sends Kato bailing over to the ropes but Roberts stays on the arm, even lifting him up by said arm. Kato fights up and is elbowed in the face, followed by another takedown by the arm. The threat of the DDT sends Kato bailing out to the floor, only for his cheap shot to be cut off.

Another attempt at the DDT has Kato on the floor again but he’s back in a bit faster this time. Roberts runs into a knee in the corner and gets sent outside for a cane shot to the back. Tanaka gets in a shot of his own and Roberts finally gets back inside. Some left hands and the short clothesline drop Kato but Tanaka sneaks in to break up the DDT. The DDT connects a few seconds later but Tanaka comes in for the DQ at 7:04.

Rating: D-. Freaking KATO? There is something to be said about protecting wrestlers, but not only was Kato beaten, but Roberts fought all three of them off and had the match won. This was a one sided match against a villain who was in way over his head and he can’t even take a fall. I have no idea what the thinking was here but there was no reason for it to go this way.

Post match Roberts fights the team off and chases Fuji to the back with the snake.

We get a profile on Jim Duggan, meaning the soldiers now have 2x4s.

We start with Duggan in a building made of wood, where he gives us a tour of his collection of 2x4s, one of which is autographed by people with wood related named (Woody from Cheers, James Woods and the Chairman of the Board, Frank Sinatra). Ok that’s at least clever.

From New York City, New York, March 15, 1991.

Jim Duggan vs. Sgt. Slaughter

Non-title flag match and General Adnan and Hulk Hogan (in camouflage) are here too. Duggan slugs away to start and Slaughter is down in the corner early. Actually we’ll make that out to the floor, meaning it’s time to hit the stall button. Back in and they lock up, with Slaugher backing him against the ropes. That earns him a big shove and the right hands, which Duggan always made look good.

Slaughter manages to get in a kick to the face though and some choking on the ropes has Duggan in more trouble. Duggan slugs up again but gets caught in a sleeper to slow him back down. That’s only good for two arm drops before Duggan gets up and sends Slaughter into the buckle. Slaughter knocks him down again and actually goes up for a top rope knee. Hogan even gets jumped from behind, which is enough to let Slaughter go up again but get shoved down for the crash.

Hogan and Adnan just come on in, with Slaughter going outside to beat on Hogan some more. Some cable choking has Hogan down and now it’s back inside for some knee drops to Duggan. The camel clutch goes on so Adnan gets on the apron for the sole purpose of allowing Hogan to hit Slaughter with the board. Duggan eventually gets up and covers Slaughter, which draws in Adnan for the save and DQ at 14:12, because after everything else before that was fine.

Rating: C-. The match itself wasn’t good, but the heat did help a lot. At the same time, it’s rather clear that Hogan is going to win for America at Wrestlemania and Slaughter didn’t even get to look strong here. It was a long match and did feel important, but there was no hiding the fact that Slaughter was on borrowed time and everyone knew it even more this match.

Post match Slaughter and Adnan beat up Hogan and Duggan, allowing them to wave the Iraqi Flag. Slaughter leaves but forgets the title, with Adnan coming back to get it and….yep that’s going to be a beating for him. At least the American flag is waved. Wrestlemania was in 9 days so America would be avenged soon enough.

Duggan goes to a lumber yard to get some fresh 2x4s. And yes, the man who cuts his wood is named Woody. And yes, we watch the board be cut.

From Cedar Rapids, Iowa, April 16, 1991.

Jim Duggan vs. Smash

Mr. Fuji is here with Smash, who was mostly a singles wrestler at this point. They take their time to start, with Duggan of course knowing how to play to the crowd to keep them going. Smash backs him into the corner but gets clotheslined down a few times. The third sends him outside but he comes back in to take over on Duggan in the corner.

Some forearms in the corner set up a neck crank, followed by a legdrop for two. We’re back to the neck crank, which allows Duggan to fight up and slug away in the corner. That means Duggan gets to tell the referee to LAY OFF MY BACK, as was his custom. Fuji’s distraction doesn’t work and it’s the three point clothesline to finish Smash at 6:11.

Rating: C-. Well at least Duggan got the pin. It was just over Smash, who was kind of hanging around until he got something fresh at this point, but at least Duggan got the win. That’s not much of a focus on Duggan, but that’s oddly the case with a lot of these Coliseum Video profiles, which was always a weird way to go.

Mooney is lost but finds his way to the next match.

From Ft. Wayne, Indiana, October 30, 1990.

WWF Title: Ultimate Warrior vs. Randy Savage

Savage, with Queen Sherri, is challenging and this is a dark match from after the fourth Main Event. Warrior runs in, clotheslines him down, hits the usual, and it’s the gorilla press into the Warrior Splash to retain at 1:32. Warrior didn’t even have his face painted and commentary pointed out that something had to be wrong with Savage.

From Savannah, Georgia, January 29, 1991.

Ted DiBiase vs. Tugboat

Ok then. DiBiase tries to jump him to start but gets clotheslined outside instead. Back in and a rake to the eyes just makes Tugboat mad so he whips DiBiase into some corners. DiBiase needs a timeout on the floor and comes back in to get elbowed in the face. The elbow drop misses for Tugboat and DiBiase bails again, this time with Tugboat giving chase.

That goes as well as you would expect, with DiBiase catching him on the way back inside. Some choking has Tugboat down again and they go outside, with DiBiase choking against the barricade. Tugboat manages to post him and they go back inside for some splashes in the corner. DiBiase gets in a shot of his own and tries the Million Dollar Dream, which is broken up rather quickly. Tugboat misses a charge into the corner though and DiBiase gets a rollup for the clean pin at 6:41.

Rating: D. Another rather lame match as Tugboat is the biggest example of “I liked him when I was a kid but wow he does not hold up.” There’s just nothing to him here and DiBiase had nothing to work with, which is why they got out of there pretty quickly. The change to Typhoon would help, but there was only so much that Tugboat in any form was going to be able to do.

Mooney uses binoculars to see….the Tag Team Match Of The Month logo. Are we sure that’s not a Viewmaster?

From Chattanooga, Tennessee, January 8, 1991.

Power & Glory/Warlord vs. British Bulldog/Legion Of Doom

Slick is here with the villains. Hawk glares around a lot to start before punching Roma in the face a few times. The top rope clothesline misses though and Roma stomps away in the corner. Something resembling a dropkick sends Roma outside, where he actually takes over. Back in and Roma hits a much better looking dropkick but Hawk pops back up with a neckbreaker.

Animal and Warlord come in for the power off, with an exchange of shoulders going to a standoff. Animal’s flying clothesline (which almost goes over the head) drops Warlord and it’s off to Hercules for a clothesline of his own. Bulldog comes in and gets knocked down as well, with Warlord adding the elbow drops. Warlord ducks his head so Bulldog can get in a leapfrog but Roma cuts off a powerslam attempt. The villains take turns stomping on Bulldog until Warlord gets most of a full nelson. Bulldog starts to power out and everything breaks down….for a double DQ at 7:17.

Rating: D+. ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? Power & Glory were about to lose to the LOD in less than a minute at Wrestlemania but they can’t do a job here in a six man tag off a fluke rollup or something? After the rest of this wretched tape, you would think we could have one more actual win for the good guys but nah, let’s just keep doing weak stuff like this to wrap up the tape.

Mooney wraps it up and is driven away in a jeep (or tank, according to HHH), but isn’t pleased with his driver’s abilities. Yeah seriously that’s all they have for the big closing. You’re surprised?

Overall Rating: D. Piper vs. Perfect aside, this was one of the worst tapes I can remember coming from Coliseum Video. It’s one pitiful match after another with people not being able to take a pin for whatever reason, despite this being released months later. Some of these finishes actually had me getting mad, which came after seeing some of what we were watching (Roberts vs. Kato actually being booked is amazing in its own right). Absolutely horrible stuff here, though Piper vs. Perfect is definitely worth a look.

Remember to follow me on Twitter and Bluesky @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Even More Incredible Battle Royals
Commentators: Booker T., Josh Matthews, Michael Cole, Gorilla Monsoon, Gene Okerlund, Lord Alfred Hayes, Ron Trongard, Vince McMahon, Rob Bartlett, Randy Savage, Lee Marshall, Bill DeMott, Nigel Sherrod

Oddly enough, I’ve had a lot of fun with the previous two entries in this series, as they’re just fun to watch. The best part is that a lot of these haven’t been seen in a long time, so they’re not exactly famous. That leaves you with some surprise entries and winners, which hopefully is the case again here. Let’s get to it.

From Smackdown, July 3, 2012.

Battle Royal

Alberto Del Rio, Kane, Jack Swagger, John Cena, Tensai, Damien Sandow, Daniel Bryan, Heath Slater, CM Punk, Dolph Ziggler, Kofi Kingston, Brodus Clay, Great Khali, Big Show, Ezekiel Jackson, Zack Ryder, Christian, Santino Marella, Justin Gabriel, Cody Rhodes

Teddy Long introduces this one, as the winner will be GM next week and that is a stacked lineup. Gabriel is out in a hurry and Show dumps Clay out as well. Tensai gets rid of Jackson and a bunch of people get rid of Khali to clear out a lot of the ring. There goes Sandow and Marella is out as well. Show shoves out Rhodes and Kingston at the same time and we take a break.

We come back with Slater and Swagger put out during the break before Punk’s crossbody gets rid of Bryan…and himself as well. Kane starts wrecking people, including a chokeslam to Show but he doesn’t bother getting rid of anyone. A bunch of heels go after Cena, who fights back and gets rid of Del Rio. Tensai goes after Cena but gets tossed, with Show throwing Cena out instead.

Ryder goes after Show for some dumb reason and gets hit with a spear. Kane tosses Show and Ziggler at the same time, leaving us with Ryder vs. Kane, which fits as Kane ruined Ryder’s life late last year. Ryder slips off the shoulder but gets kicked in the face, only to come back with the Broski Boot. The Rough Ryder is cut off but Ryder low bridges him out for the win at 10:49.

Rating: C+. They had some star power here and that helped a lot, but it was nice to see Ryder actually winning something for a change. The good thing is that Ryder only had to pull the rope down to get some revenge but that’s better than nothing. The bigger names were pretty much cleared out without much of a second thought, but that’s one of the perks of a match like this. Nice enough job here.

From Madison Square Garden, October 20, 1986.

$50,000 Tag Team Battle Royal

Moondogs (Rex/Spot), Rougeau Brothers (Jacques Rougeau/Raymond Rougeau), Dream Team (Brutus Beefcake/Greg Valentine), The Indians (Steve Gatorwolf/Chief Jay Strongbow), Hart Foundation (Bret Hart/Jim Neidhart), Mike Rotundo/SD Jones, Islanders (Haku/Tama), Nikolai Volkoff/Iron Sheik, Killer Bees (Jim Brunzell/Brian Blair), Machines (Super Machine/Big Machine), British Bulldogs (Davey Boy Smith/Dynamite Kid), King Kong Bundy/Big John Studd

If one member of a team is eliminated, their partner is out as well. The Moondogs are out in about ten seconds and it’s already time to slow down for the weak elimination attempts. Sheik has to save himself from a fireman’s carry and Beefcake is sent to the apron but not out. Studd is almost out but Bundy cuts that off in a hurry.

Rotundo and Jones are out, as are the Indians (and yes, that’s what their graphic said) to clear the ring a bit. Sheik is backdropped out and the Harts/Bulldogs go out, naturally brawling on the floor as they leave. The Machines are almost out, though the Bees are entirely out as things are managing to slow down even more.

Studd backdrops Jacques out and Beefcake follows him, leaving us with the Machines, the Islanders and Bundy/Studd. Bundy and Studd get rid of the Machines though and we’re down to two. Well four but whatever. Tama gets crushed by the Avalanche, which leaves Haku fighting two monsters on his own (I feel sorry for them). Haku slugs away at Studd but Bundy misses a charge and hits his own partner to knock Studd out, giving the Islanders the win at 10:33.

Rating: C-. So the action here was the usual drek, but DANG it was nice to see some actual tag teams for a change. The 80s was just loaded with tag teams and some of these would go on to be among the best of their era. This would have been even better like a year later, but this was a fun one for the names alone. Not a good match for the most part save for the hot ending, but fine for a house show special attraction.

From the AWA. There’s no date given but this would likely be late 1982 (it’s definitely after October 9, 1982 as Otto Wanz is billed as a former World Champion).

$50,000 Battle Royal

Jerry Blackwell, Ken Patera, Buck Zumhoffe, Greg Gagne, Hulk Hogan, Andre The Giant, Baron von Raschke, Bobby Heenan, Kevin Johnson, Tom Lintz, Jim Brunzell, Jacques Goulet, Brad Rheingans, Rick Martel, Bobby Heenan, Adnan Al-Kaissie, Ray Stevens, Adrian Adonis, Bobby Duncum, Otto Wanz, Nick Bockwinkel

Hogan is listed at 335lbs, which is huge for him. Also, since everyone got an individual entrance, I had time to think about something. This is billed as a $50,000 battle royal, with 18 entrants. Commentary said that the participants had put up money for the big prize. But then there was a surprise, as it was now a twenty person battle royal. Now at 18 entrants, $50k breaks down to about $2,777 each. So did the last two entrants have to pay as well and the prize was really about $55k? Or did they get in free? Or did the AWA just pocket the extra entry fees? No wonder they didn’t last.

Commentary says the battle royal is underway, then a few seconds later the bell rings, then a few seconds later the ring announcer says it’s begun. Geez people we can see the concept. Hogan is in early trouble as Andre beats on Patera, who is on the floor but I don’t believe out. There are multiple people on the floor but commentary is not exactly great at telling us who is out.

We get the five minutes in call at less than four minutes as this company can’t get anything right. Adonis hits Andre in the back for some annoyance as we’re told everyone is still officially in. Stevens is finally the first one out and Lintz is out, though Heenan manages to save himself. Patera dumps Johnson as we’re told it’s ten minutes in before it’s even nine. Goulet is out and Adonis goes up top to forearm Raschke, which is quite the odd pairing. Raschke is out soon after and Zumhoffe joins him (good) as Gagne and Adonis fight on the floor without being eliminated.

Rheingans is out and Adonis goes up top again for some reason, with Andre slamming him down. Wanz is out, as is Adonis (billed as the Golden Boy, which is so bizarre given what he would become) and we get a bunch of people almost going out on the same rope before getting back in. Martel is out and things slow down again. We settle down to Heenan and company against the good guys, with Hogan and Andre picking up Gagne and Brunzell to kick various villains away (that’s a visual).

We’re told it’s fifteen minutes in (no) as Brunzell is tossed by Blackwell and Duncum. There goes Gagne and the villains split off to triple team Hogan and Andre in different corners. Hogan is sent through the ropes to the floor, where the beating continues. Andre fights out and gets rid of Blackwell and Al-Kaissie, plus Duncum.

Heenan comes off the top with an ax handle to save Bockwinkel and eliminates himself to avoid Andre… who goes over the top to eliminate himself as well. That leaves Patera and Bockwinkel to double team Hogan, who sends them into each other. Hogan backdrops both of them out to win (and jump up and down in celebration) at 19:52.

Rating: C. I’m not a big AWA guy for the most part, but they have a certain charm about them that was on display here. If nothing else, having Heenan running around trying to run things and then eliminating himself with quite the athletic jump was a great bonus. This had the usual share of standing around, but it’s fun to see such a different version of this kind of match from a promotion that doesn’t get a lot of attention.

From Monday Night Raw, February 15, 1993 (this was on the Invasion Of The Bodyslammers Coliseum Video, albeit with different commentary, so I’ve seen it far too many times).

Battle Royal

Owen Hart, Koko B. Ware, Kamala, Kim Chee, Shawn Michaels, Iron Mike Sharpe, Bob Backlund, Typhoon, Razor Ramon, Damien Demento, Berzerker, Terry Taylor, Skinner, Tito Santana, Tatanka

It’s a big brawl to start and for some reason almost everyone is on one side of the ring. Michaels backdrops Ware out (in a great bump) as commentary talks about Tatanka beating Michaels on Superstars (which I actually watched earlier tonight). Typhoon gets rid of Skinner and Demento is out as well as this is not exactly flying thus far. Berzerker gets rid of Hart but is tossed out by Backlund.

Chee helps Typhoon eliminate Kamala, which just seems like a bad idea. Indeed as Kamala goes back inside to chop Chee and chase him through the crowd and into the concourse as we take a break. We come back (it’s kind awesome that we get to see the stuff in the break on the Coliseum Video) with Kamala chasing Chee through the balcony. Back in the ring, Typhoon gets backdropped over the corner for the elimination and we’re down to Michaels, Ramon, Santana and Tatanka, which breaks down into one heck of a tag match.

Michaels unloads on Tatanka in the corner and Ramon seems to knee Santana low. Santana is back up with the flying forearm and Michaels hits Tatanka with a dropkick. Michaels is sent onto the corner and the good guys kick him out at the same time to get us down to three. And here’s the Giant Gonzalez to knock Ramon through the ropes and throw the other two over before leaving. Ramon climbs back in and wins at 13:32.

Rating: D+. I love the tape and I’ve seen it quite a few times, but yeah this isn’t very good. It’s a few stars with a bunch of filler names and then Gonzalez coming in to wreck everyone at the end. The Kamala chase was funny, but that’s about the only entertaining part. It’s not a terrible match, but it’s pretty boring (until the final four) and that’s worse.

From the AWA, Saint Paul, Minnesota, February 7, 1989.

AWA World Title: Battle Royal

Sgt. Slaughter, Larry Zbyszko, Tom Zenk, Ken Patera, Steve Ray, Greg Gagne, Colonel DeBeers, Ricky Rice, Wayne Bloom, Wahoo McDaniel, Pat Tanaka, Mike Enos, Manny Fernandez, Akio Sato, Derrick Dukes, Mike George, Paul Diamond, Tommy Jammer

For the vacant title. It’s the usual start and there are no entrances here so good luck figuring out who all is in this. This means a lot of choking and brawling near the ropes, with the only interesting note being Diamond Dallas Page on the floor as a manager for apparently three or four people. Jammer is out and Enos (with his very 80s jeans) is as well, followed by I believe George (commentary is useless).

Fernandez is knocked out and a running clothesline gets rid of….someone commentary doesn’t bother to name. Patera is out and Fernandez is back in, as commentary apparently doesn’t get the difference between IN and OUT. DeBeers can’t get rid of Slaughter but someone can get rid of Sato. Fernandez is actually out and a bunch of people are tossed at once. We’re down to Zbyszko, Zenk, Gagne, Tatanka, DeBeers and Slaughter, with Gagne going up top like a moron and missing a top rope stomp.

Gagne is thrown out shortly thereafter and Zenk is on the floor but not out. Slaughter gets rid of Tanaka and DeBeers but gets tossed by Zbyszko. So we’re down two Zenk and Zbyszko as DeBeers brawls with Slaughter. And apparently this is now a regular match, as Zenk hits an atomic drop for two. Zbyszko slams him for two but gets sent hard into the corner. The referee gets bumped (oh sweet goodness) and Zenk hits his dropkick for an incredibly delayed two. A suplex gets two more but Zenk’s crossbody is thrown over the top rope to give Zbyszko the title at 15:38.

Rating: D-. This was a perfect illustration of why the AWA was dying. You had a bunch of people who didn’t feel like stars having an awful battle royal with the ending not really making sense. There was nothing to see here and it was a total mess, which explains the AWA in a nutshell: yeah it existed, but why would you want to watch it?

From the Global Wrestling Federation (early 90s promotion in Dallas), sometime in 1992.

$2000 Bunkhouse Battle Royal

Alex Porteau, Stevie Ray, Booker T, Chaz, Johnny Mantel, Gary Young, Black Bart, Shawn Summers, Rod Price, Scott Putski, Steven Dane, Tug Taylor, Maniac, Dewey, Terry Sill

You can win by over the top or pinfall and….my goodness this place does not have the best looking roster. Price is thrown out and pulls Young with him to get us down to thirteen. Chaz and Dane are both out and Booker beats up Tug Taylor as the Maniac (he’s a bit off) eliminates himself. Booker pins Dewey (I think?) before Summers, Taylor and Putski are all out. Mantel chokes Ray in the corner until Booker makes the save as Bart eliminates Sill. Porteau is out and we’re down to four as we take a break.

We come back with Booker and Ray in stereo chinlocks (in a BATTLE ROYAL) but they fight up…and get pulled back down into the chinlocks. Those are broken up so Ray grabs his own chinlock as I’m amazed at how bad these people are at this stuff. Bart fights up and ties Ray in the ropes while Booker skins the cat to save himself. Ray is back up and tosses Bart and Mantel…meaning Ray and Booker both win at 10:14.

Rating: F. Chinlocks. Multiple chinlocks. In a battle royal. I have no idea how this is the best way they could go, but it offers a good illustration of why this promotion is not exactly remembered positively. This was absolutely nothing and I don’t even get the ending, which wasn’t explained in any way and made a bad match even worse.

From Deep South Wrestling, the disaster of a developmental territory which did produce some good WWE talent, likely in 2005.

Battle Royal

Mike Mizanin, Mike Knox, Mike Shane, Todd Shane, Freakin Deacon, Palmer Cannon, Eric Perez, Nick Mitchell, Roughhouse O’Reilly, Antonio Banks, Mack Johnson, Derek Neikirk, Damien Steele, Kid Kash, Ryan Reeves, Mike Taylor, Joe Slaughter, Johnny Slaughter, Ray Gordy, Tony Santarelli, ???

For a bye in the first round of the Deep South Title tournament and one of the twenty one entrants are never named. Everyone goes after the Regulators (Shane and Shane) to start as commentary is rather hard to understand. One Shane saves the other from a group elimination and Roughhouse O’Reilly (Konnor of the Ascension) has to save himself. Todd Shane is thrown out and Mike Shane follows him as we’re now able to focus on anything else.

The Deacon (Luke Gallows) gets in front of Cannon as everyone tries to charge, with the Deacon eliminating four people in a row. Cannon bails to the floor so Deacon dives onto a bunch of people at once. A bunch of people get rid of Deacon as Cannon is now hiding underneath the ring.

We take a break and come back with Cannon hiding on the floor again as the brawl continues inside. A man in green gets enziguried out but chases Cannon back inside rather than leaving like he should. Well no wonder Cannon ran from that rulebreaker. Everyone looks at Cannon, who dives over the top to eliminate/save himself. Banks (the future MVP) is out and we get down to a bunch of brawling on the ropes. Johnson and Mitchell are eliminated and we take another break.

We come back with nine entrants remaining and the fans behind Reeves (the future Ryback) as someone not important enough to name is tossed. Steele sends Kash to the apron, only for Kash to dump him out. Neikirk has to save himself from being very close to an elimination and O’Reilly is put on the apron. Neikirk and Kash get together to eliminate Reeves and O’Reilly and we’re down to five as we take another break.

We come back with Miz and Taylor staring down with Team Elite (Neikirk, Kash and Knox). Miz gets double teamed in the corner but Kash turns on Knox with a hurricanrana. That earns him a boot to the face from Knox, allowing Taylor and Miz to…not eliminate him. Knox is back up with one heck of a chop to Miz in the corner and they pair off again. Taylor’s hurricanrana takes Kash to the apron but not out, leaving Miz to DDT the other two at the same time.

Taylor and Kash hit a double clothesline and everyone is down. Miz and Taylor are back up to take over on the villains but Taylor misses a charge and gets booted out. That leaves Miz on his own against the three villains, who quickly sends him to the apron to start. Miz manages to pull Kash halfway down though and the other two toss Kash out to get us down to three. Kash grabs at Miz from the floor so here is Taylor to go after him as well. Knox and Neikirk double team Miz but he skins the cat and headscissors Neikirk out. Knox pump kicks Miz in the face for the win at 40:30.

Rating: B. Well DANG that came out of nowhere. I was expecting absolutely nothing here and they wound up having one heck of a match in the end. The last ten minutes or so with Miz and Taylor fighting against the monsters worked great and I wanted to see how they were getting out of it. The time made it work well too, as this had no reason to go this long but they made it work and did something rather good. Nice job here and FAR better than I was expecting.

Overall Rating: D+. Well the winning streak ends at two, as the Deep South match wasn’t enough to make this work. That stretch of the 1993 match, the AWA mess and the horrible Global match dragged this WAY down. There wasn’t much to see here, with the opener and finale being good but not worth your watch. Go and check out the other two entries in the series as they’re a good bit better.

Remember to follow me on Twitter and Bluesky @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Royal Rumble 1991
Date: January 19, 1991
Location: Miami Arena, Miami, Florida
Attendance: 16,000
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Roddy Piper

It’s been a minute (or about eleven years) since I’ve done this show so we might as well take advantage of it being uploaded. It’s the height of the WWF using the Gulf War as a top story, which is why the evil Sgt. Slaughter is getting the WWF Title shot against the Ultimate Warrior. And there’s that whole Royal Rumble thing. Let’s get to it.

We open with a shot of a massive American flag because it’s going to be one of those shows. This takes us to the Star Spangled Banner.

The opening video hypes up some potential Royal Rumble winner, though thankfully we do hear about the rest of the card.

Roddy Piper gives quite the promo about how much he cares for the military.

Orient Express vs. Rockers

Mr. Fuji is here with the Express (Tanaka/Kato version), who jump the Rockers to start but are quickly cleared out. The Rockers go up so Kato pulls Tanaka to the floor, meaning it’s time for stereo suicide dives (a really big spot back in the day). We settle down to Jannetty headlocking Kato down, which doesn’t last long.

Instead Kato takes him into the corner, where Jannetty’s leapfrog leaves the Express crashing into each other. Michaels comes in to start on the arm but Tanaka is back up with a leg lariat. The chinlock keeps Michaels down, which doesn’t last long either as he’s on his feet for the jumping knee. Now it’s Michaels grabbing his own chinlock, followed by a sleeper to mix it up a bit.

That doesn’t last very long and everything breaks down, with the Express actually getting the better of a do-see-do. The Rockers backflip out though and stereo dropkicks have the Express on the floor. The big planchas take them out again and it’s a double back elbow for two on Kato. Jannetty slaps on the chinlock for a bit before handing it back to Michaels, who is taken into the wrong corner.

The nerve hold goes on for a good while before a double clothesline gives Tanaka two. Michaels kicks Tanaka down so the Express tries to use their belt…which Michaels dives onto sent them into each other. See he’s not just good, but he’s smart. Jannetty comes in to clean house, even with some not great dropkicks.

Everything breaks down and Tanaka kicks Jannetty into a backslide for two as we slow back down. Michaels trips Kato down for two but Jannetty gets catapulted into a chop. Back up and the catapult is loaded up again but Michaels makes a save, allowing Jannetty to sunset flip Tanaka for the pin at 19:13.

Rating: B. Good stuff here, with the Rockers getting to show just how talented they really were. Their eventual split is what gets the attention but they could do some great stuff in the ring as well. It’s nice to see a match like this getting some time and it made for an awesome opener. Throw in the underrated Express getting their chance to showcase themselves and it made for a heck of an opener.

Randy Savage says he’s the best WWF Champion of all time and it’s time for Queen Sherri to bait the Ultimate Warrior into giving Savage a title shot.

We go to the arena where Gene Okerlund is on the platform with Sherri, who wants to challenge the Ultimate Warrior. She knows Sgt. Slaughter would give Randy Savage a title shot because he’s brave, but she’s not sure in Warrior’s case. Sherri calls Warrior out for a chat but he won’t say anything about the challenge. She then talks about his lips, chest and hair while walking around him.

With that not working, she opens his jacket and kneels before him, asking if Warrior will be honorable and a great champion by giving Savage a title shot. Warrior starts shaking and screams NO in her face and we cut to the back where Savage is livid and swears revenge. He runs into the arena but Warrior is gone. This segment has always been kind of cringey and that was the feeling again here.

Big Boss Man vs. Barbarian

This is part of Boss Man’s march through the Heenan Family (meaning Bobby Heenan is here too) to get revenge on Heenan himself. Barbarian bails to the floor to start and walks around a bit, getting inside for the lockup about 1:45 in. Boss Man boots him in the face and hits an elbow which has Barbarian out on the floor and Boss Man spinning in circles. You can criticize Boss Man about a few things, but in this era, he was never phoning it in.

Back in and Barbarian gets in a shot to go up top, only for Boss Man to knock him out of the air. A Cactus Clothesline sends Barbarian outside for another breather, with Boss Man rather fired up (shocking I know). Back in and Barbarian muscles him up with a suplex and hits a clothesline as commentary talks about how strong these two really are. Well, yeah, they’re power wrestlers.

They head outside, with Boss Man’s back being sent into the post to leave him down for a bit. Even Heenan can get in a few shots before Boss Man is sent inside for a bearhug. The comeback doesn’t last long as the bearhug goes right back on. Boss Man fights out again and manages a knockdown to get a bit of a break.

A clothesline gives Boss Man two as the foot is on the rope, meaning it’s a collision to leave them both down again. Barbarian gets up top for the clothesline but walks into the Boss Man Slam….for two, as he gets a hand on the rope. Boss Man is knocked back again so Barbarian goes up for a high crossbody, with Boss Man rolling through for the pin at 14:15.

Rating: C+. Boss Man was doing some of his best work around this point and it was interesting to see him face someone who could match him with power. This was just another step in the Heenan Family story for Boss Man and that’s not a bad way to go. The fans were behind him here and that isn’t a surprise given the effort he was putting in every time he was out there.

Sgt. Slaughter and General Adnan promise to create even more turmoil. The people here need a leader and he will provide that, as Ultimate Warrior’s time as champion is no longer even measured in hours.

Ultimate Warrior isn’t so convinced.

WWF Title: Sgt. Slaughter vs. Ultimate Warrior

Slaughter, with General Adnan, is challenging and Piper goes off about the love of the military again. A cheap shot with the flag pole doesn’t work as Warrior knocks Slaughter outside and rips up the Iraqi flag, sending Piper into overdrive. The flag is shoved into Slaughter’s mouth (that isn’t sanitary) and there’s his big bump over the corner.

Cue Sherri to watch at ringside as Warrior sends him back inside for the running shoulders. Sherri trips the leg so the chase is on, with Savage jumping Warrior near the entrance. A shot with a light stand leaves Warrior down and he takes his sweet time getting back to the ring. Thankfully Slaughter is smart enough to keep breaking up the count, as otherwise he can’t win the title.

Back in and Slaughter hits a backbreaker and spits on him before sending Warrior face first into the curled boot. A double clothesline gives them a double breather, with Slaughter popping up first…and falling right back down. Warrior gets up as well and walks right into a bearhug. That’s broken up so Slaughter drops him again, this time for the camel clutch. The feet are underneath the ropes though and Warrior starts another comeback, only to have to pull in the invading Sherri. Cue Savage with the scepter to shatter it over the Warrior’s head (because this referee is blind), giving Slaughter the pin and the title at 12:45.

Rating: C. They had to do it. Slaughter was the top heel in the company, but more importantly, Warrior just wasn’t clicking as champion. It was clear that there was nothing going on there and while you could put part of that on things beyond Warrior’s control (Hogan still being around), he wasn’t working in the spot. Yeah the result is there to set up Hogan triumphing for America, but what choice did they have?

Warrior chases after Savage and Slaughter is announced as champion, sending Monsoon and Piper into some awesome rants about how he didn’t earn it.

The Mountie vs. Koko B. Ware

Jimmy Hart is here with Mountie. They start slowly with Ware chasing him out to the floor, meaning it’s time to hit the stall button. Back in and Ware takes him down by the arm and cranks away, earning himself a right hand. Mountie avoids a charge and sends him out to the floor, followed by what looks like a claw back inside. Naturally Hart goes over to mock Frankie the bird, because Hart is amazing.

The piledriver is loaded up but Ware backdrops his way to freedom. Ware fights back and hits the missile dropkick (sticking the landing of course) but he makes the mistake of going after Hart. The distraction lets Mountie grab something like a chokeslam (uh, ok then) for the pin at 9:12.

Rating: C-. This was the filleriest of filler matches you could ask for, with pretty much nothing of note happening, saves for Ware’s always awesome dropkick. That being said, Hart yelling at Frankie was one of the best things I’ve seen in a long time, as Hart was always fine with looking goofy. Somehow, Mountie would be Intercontinental Champion a year later. The biggest surprise? The gimmick lasted for A YEAR.

Randy Savage isn’t sorry for costing Ultimate Warrior the title. Then he and Sherri run away at the sound of someone at the door.

Sgt. Slaughter and General Adnan are proud of their victory because they told you so. Unlike the rest of the military, he has no boundaries. We must be in intermission.

Piper goes on another rant about Slaughter. If there was a February PPV, Piper getting a title shot would have been ALL the money.

Jake Roberts, Earthquake, Greg Valentine, the Texas Tornado, the Legion Of Doom, Undertaker (with Brother Love), Jim Duggan, Rick Martel, Mr. Perfect and Tugboat are ready for the Royal Rumble.

Roddy Piper doesn’t think much of Virgil being Ted DiBiase’s servant.

DiBiase says Virgil does everything for him for the almighty dollar. Virgil looks ready to kill him.

Ted DiBiase/Virgil vs. Dusty Rhodes/Dustin Rhodes

No polka dots for Dusty here. The villains are cleared out to start and DiBiase tells Virgil to go take them out. Back in and Dustin takes over on Virgil without much trouble, followed by a clothesline out to the floor. Virgil gets sent outside again and now DiBiase is willing to do it himself. That means taking over on Dustin, so it’s quickly off to Dusty for the elbows in the corner.

The sleeper has DiBiase in more trouble so Virgil has to make a save. Dustin comes back in and gets his knee taken out, allowing Virgil to actually take over for once. DiBiase wraps the knee around the post and it’s time for some double teaming…but Virgil clotheslines DiBiase by mistake. That’s too much for DiBiase, who beats Virgil up and sends him outside, only for Dusty to miss a charge and get rolled up (with trunks) for the pin at 9:58.

Rating: C. The match was pretty much just a backdrop for Virgil finally having enough of DiBiase, to the point where it got physical between them. They had a great run but you had to do the turn at some point and this made sense. At the same time, this was pretty much it for Dusty and Dustin, with the former heading back to (kind of) run WCW, where he was much better suited.

Post match DiBiase berates Virgil again and orders him to put the Million Dollar Title around his waist. Instead, Virgil throws it down, with DiBiase telling him to pick it up. Virgil does so, and blasts him with the belt for the big turn and monster pop. And then after Wrestlemania, they never could follow up on it.

Hulk Hogan promises to win the Royal Rumble for the troops. We’re told that Sgt. Slaughter is planning to deface the American flag and you might as well just make Wrestlemania right now. Then Hogan forgets Sadaam Hussein’s name and the whole thing goes off the rails.

Royal Rumble

Two minute intervals and Bret Hart is in at #1 (second time in four years) and Dino Bravo is in at #2. Piper does his job as a commentator and makes sure to go over the rules (remember that this is only the third time with the 30 man variety so it was still pretty new) as Hart takes over with an early atomic drop. Bravo knocks him down and starts stomping away but misses the elbow as Greg Valentine is in at #3. Valentine goes after Bravo as we’re still in his bizarre face run. That works as well as…well as well as Valentine’s face turn, though he does toss Bravo out.

Hart goes to toss Valentine out but it’s Paul Roma in at #4 (with Slick running after him for a weird visual) to break it up. The three slug it out until Kerry Von Erich is in at #5, giving us a tag match which would leave Hart wondering what in the world he’s supposed to do. They pair off for a bit until Rick Martel is in at #6. That means more general brawling until Saba Simba is in at #7 to add some muscle.

Even more brawling ensues with no one even getting close to an elimination until Butch is in at #8. Martel dumps Simba to clear the ring out a bit and it’s Jake Roberts (who cannot stand Martel) in at #9 to go right after him to a huge reaction. The short arm clothesline sends Martel under the ropes to the floor, with Valentine cutting Roberts off on the way back inside. Roberts can’t quite knock Martel off the apron and it’s Hercules in at #10. That gives us Hart, Valentine, Roma, Von Erich, Martel, Butch, Roberts and Hercules for rather unique midcard lineup.

That means more standing around on the ropes and brawling until Tito Santana is in at #11. Roma misses a charge and crashes out to the floor and Von Erich grabs a Claw on I believe Hercules. Undertaker is in at #12 and immediately gets rid of Hart before doing the scary faced choking. Jimmy Snuka (with his crazy afro) is in at #13 and Undertaker tosses Butch as they’re doing a better job of keeping things moving. Davey Boy Smith is in at #14 and the ring is starting to get full.

There’s nothing else going on at the moment so we’ll stop to look at fans who realize they can get on TV near the front row, leaving the security guard to clear them out. There’s nothing in particular about these fans, but it’s talking about them or talking about Hercules and Von Erich in the Royal Rumble. Smash is in at #15 and the nothing continues. Roberts is tossed out and Hawk is in at #16, with a bunch of people going after him.

That’s broken up and it’s Shane Douglas (looking like Brian Pillman) in at #17. Von Erich and Snuka are out back to back and #18….is no one, as nobody comes through the curtain. More on this later so we’ll go with Undertaker hitting Smith low without doing much damage. The person who didn’t enter is officially eliminated and Animal is in at #19. The LOD gets rid of Undertaker but Hawk is thrown out as well, with Crush coming in at #20.

That gives us Valentine, Martel, Hercules, Santana, Bulldog, Smash, Douglas, Animal and Crush. Demolition double teams the Bulldog and Jim Duggan is in at #21. Animal’s bearhug on Martel doesn’t last long and it’s Earthquake in at #22. Animal fires off some running clotheslines but misses a charge and gets dumped. Mr. Perfect is in at #23 and takes a heck of a bump off Duggan’s whip into the corner. It might not make sense from a physics standpoint but it looked good. Duggan’s missed charge puts him out as well and none of that matters as Hulk Hogan is in at #24.

A bunch of people jump him but Smash is the first one out. Some right hands rock Earthquake but Perfect comes over to cut Hogan off. Smith makes a save of his own and it’s Haku in at #25. Hogan tosses Valentine to little fanfare after almost 45 minutes and Jim Neidhart is in at #26. Santana is out and Luke it in at #27, lasting a then record 4 seconds before marching right back to the back (and it’s still funny).

Brian Knobbs is in at #28 and things are slowing down a big. Hogan sends Perfect into the corner, likely jealous over Perfect wearing the yellow singlet. Knobbs actually tosses Hercules and it’s Warlord in at #29. Hogan tosses Crush and gets pummeled by Knobbs, with Perfect coming over to help. Perfect chops Warlord by mistake so Hogan is back over to go after Warlord as well. A clothesline gets rid of Warlord and it’s Tugboat to complete the field (meaning Randy Savage was #18 who didn’t show up, likely out of fear of the Ultimate Warrior).

We have a final grouping of Martel, Bulldog, Douglas, Earthquake, Perfect, Hogan, Haku, Neidhart, Knobbs and Tugboat, which isn’t exactly great. Douglas is tossed and Tugboat actually splashes Hogan in the corner, which is good for a toss to the apron. Back up and Hogan dumps Tugboat, which is actually deserved for once. Bulldog dropkicks Perfect out and Martel actually dumps Neidhart.

Bulldog backdrops Haku out as the ring is clearing in a hurry. That leaves us with five, as Martel goes up, which just seems dump. Bulldog crotches him on top and hits a clothesline, leaving us with Bulldog, Hogan, Earthquake and Knobbs. Earthquake and Knobbs get rid of Bulldog and Earthquake splashes Hogan, which means it’s time to celebrate.

The Earthquake crushes Hogan, who pops up and kicks Knobbs out without much trouble. The big boot drops Earthquake and Jimmy Hart’s interference is easily cut off. Hogan tries a slam but Earthquake falls on top of him and the big elbow crushes Hogan again. Earthquake powerslams Hogan, which triggers the Hulk Up. Hogan hits the slam and knocks him out to win at 1:05:18.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t exactly a thrilling Rumble, but it was best known as the one where Brian Knobbs was there at the end. What else do you really need to know about it? The last two years have ended with Hogan facing a pair of villains. Last year it was Rick Rude and Mr. Perfect, while this year it was Earthquake and Knobbs. There were a few ok parts to the match, but Hogan had to win after the big soul crushing loss from Warrior. They were still figuring out the Rumble formula here and this didn’t work very well.

Hogan poses a lot, including holding a bunch of signs to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. It was not a good time for the WWF and this show was a good illustration of why. You had a good opener, but the rest of the show is just totally mediocre, with something of a transition from the Golden Era taking place. Things wouldn’t get much better anytime soon, though Savage vs. Warrior would be rather excellent. Unfortunately that didn’t happen here, as instead we got a bunch of matches which were just kind of there, plus the good opener. Skip this one, as you probably have.

Ratings Comparison

The Rockers vs. The Orient Express

Original: A
2013 Redo: B+
2026 Redo: B

Big Boss Man vs. Barbarian

Original: B
2013 Redo: C
2026 Redo: C+

Sgt. Slaughter vs. Ultimate Warrior

Original: D
2013 Redo: D+
2026 Redo: C

The Mountie vs. Koko B. Ware

Original: D
2013 Redo: D
2026 Redo: C-

Ted DiBiase/Virgil vs. Dustin Rhodes/Dusty Rhodes

Original: B
2013 Redo: D+
2026 Redo: C

Royal Rumble

Original: D+
2013 Redo: D
2026 Redo: C-

Overall Rating

Original: C-
2013 Redo: D+
2026 Redo: C-

Geez and I thought I was being harsh on the show this time.

Remember to follow me on Twitter and Bluesky @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Legends Final Matches In WWE
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Shawn Michaels, Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Pete Doherty, Bruce Prichard, Mike McGuirk

As usual, the title of the whole thing sums it up, though the “In WWE” part takes away a little something. That being said, there are still more than a few interesting options in there, as WWE has often treated its legends rather well over the years. Hopefully that is the case again here so let’s get to it.

From Summerslam 2006.

Hulk Hogan vs. Randy Orton

Hogan shoves him around to start fast so Orton tries a headlock, which is easily shoved away. That works so well that they do it again but this time Orton actually gets somewhere. Choking in the corner has Hogan in more trouble but he blocks a ram into the buckle. The right hands in the corner have the fans even more behind Orton, whose head gets bitten for a bonus. More right hands stagger Orton and Hogan hammers him down on the mat to keep him in trouble.

Orton finally bails to the floor and starts taking out Hogan’s leg to take over. A cannonball drops down onto the leg and Orton stomps away but misses the high crossbody. Hogan slugs away but misses a big boot, allowing Orton to come back with a dropkick. The RKO connects for three…though Hogan’s foot was on the ropes, which the referee didn’t notice until after the pin, which is quite the stretch of the rules. Hogan uses the breather to fight up and the usual, complete with a LONG wait before the legdrop, finishes Orton at 10:58.

Rating: C. This was always a weird choice and I’m curious to know how much impact Hogan had on the setup. While Orton hit the RKO, it didn’t feel like the biggest threat to take Hogan out. The crux of the story was about Brooke Hogan and while that’s a good enough way to go, the match seemed to be more of Hogan dealing with an annoyance than someone who could really hurt him. Orton wasn’t the legend he would become, but he was a bigger deal than he was presented as here.

Posing ensues.

From Wrestlemania XXIV

Ric Flair vs. Shawn Michaels

Flair’s career is on the line and they take their time to start. Flair takes him down by the leg but Michaels is up with some chops of his own. They trade chops in the corner and Flair’s lip is busted open, which has him getting a lot more serious. An elbow to the face puts Michaels down and there’s the knee drop as well. Flair’s high crossbody actually connects for two but the threat of a Figure Four earns him a kick out to the floor.

An Asai moonsault misses though and Michaels’ ribs lands HARD on the edge of the announcers’ table for a horrible looking crash. That’s almost enough for a countout but Michaels makes it back inside. Flair slowly stomps him down and grabs a slightly delayed suplex for two. Michaels is able to send him outside and now the top rope moonsault can drop Flair on the floor.

Back in and Michaels knocks Flair down again, setting up the top rope elbow. That looks to set up Sweet Chin Music but Michaels can’t pull the trigger, meaning Flair pulls him into the Figure Four for quite the reaction. Michaels turns it over so Flair takes him down and they….can’t do the bridge up into the backslide spot. Well that’s sad.

Instead Flair tries for the leg again but gets pulled into a sunset flip for two. Back up and the enziguri misses, allowing Flair to slap on the Figure Four again. Michaels makes the rope so Flair stomps away…but walks into Sweet Chin Music for two. Another superkick is loaded up but Flair kicks him low for two instead.

Michaels is able to grab his own version of the Figure Four, which is broken up with a poke to the eye. A rollup with tights gives Michaels two but he walks into another superkick. Flair tries to get up again and tells Michaels to bring it so we get the legendary “I’m sorry, I love you” as another superkick ends Flair’s career (HAHAHAHAHA) at 21:34.

Rating: B-. I’ve seen this match several times now and I’m not sure what to think of it. The match is mainly Flair getting to do his stuff one more time and try to survive. That’s fine, but at the end of the day, he doesn’t exactly look great out there and while Michaels made it better, it was time for Flair to hang it up. Then he would go on to NOT hang it up for such a long time, to the point where it was pretty much one embarrassing situation after another. The ending is an all timer, but the rest of the match is Michaels carrying a lot.

From Wrestlemania XXXV.

Batista vs. HHH

Anything goes and HHH’s career is on the line. Before the bell, Batista goes outside to glare at Shawn Michaels (on commentary) but nothing comes of it. HHH has his Mad Max inspired entrance, complete with a weird car driving him to the ring. Cole: “How cool was that???” And that’s why the entrance happened, as HHH needed to look awesome. They go straight to the brawling with Batista taking him outside for a toss over the barricade. HHH comes out with a toolbox to the face and some chain shots have Batista down. Michaels: “That can’t help his movie career for sure.”

HHH finds some pliers to crank on Batista’s fingers and then stomps them onto the steps. It’s chair (and too sweet with Michaels) time but let’s get some needle nosed pliers instead. HHH uses the chair to pin Batista down and rips out Batista’s nose ring for your insane spot of the match. Graves: “This guy is my boss!” Batista is fine enough to catch a diving HHH and drop him onto the announcers’ table, followed by a hard ram into the steps.

Back in and an Air Raid Crash gives Batista two and he counters a Pedigree attempt with a backdrop. They head outside again, with Batista putting the steps onto the announcers’ table. Batista points at Michaels but the really big Batista Bomb is countered into a backdrop onto (not through) the table, leaving both of them down. A spear sends Batista through another table as this keeps going.

They fight over getting back into the ring, because that’s suddenly a thing, until HHH finds a sledgehammer (one of two visible underneath the ring). That takes too much time and Batista hits a spear for two. HHH gets the hammer back but charges into a spinebuster, basically repeating the same sequence to make the match go on even longer. A Batista Bomb drops HHH for two and it’s time to throw in the steps.

What looks like a superplex is countered into a powerbomb onto the steps drops Batista and the Pedigree connects for another near fall. The sledgehammer is cut off again, this time with Batista DDTing him onto the steps so they can lay down some more. Cue Ric Flair (who Batista attacked to get the match set up) to give HHH a sledgehammer, allowing him to use the steps as a launchpad to knock Batista cold. Well chilly as he pops back up so the Pedigree can give HHH the pin at 21:44.

Rating: D+. It’s not that the match is bad but my goodness it is WAY too long. There are several stretches here where it feels like they are just sitting around and filling in time to make the match feel more epic. Naturally Flair has to be involved because of the Evolution connection and how the match was set up, but dang I am sick of seeing him pop up so often. There is a way to have this kind of a brawl, but it did not work with how much time they were given, as is always the case with big HHH matches.

From the Paul Boesch Retirement Show, August 28, 1987.

Bruno Sammartino vs. Hercules

Well, last televised match, as Sammartino teamed with Hulk Hogan (for the only time ever) the following day. This features Bruce Prichard, Mike McGuirk and Pete Doherty on commentary, as apparently we not only have to say goodbye to Sammartino but have our ears bleed on the way there. Sammartino knocks him to the floor to start and Hercules needs a breather. Back in and Sammartino cranks on the arm for a bit, even asking the fans how many times he should do it for a nice touch.

Hercules fights up and knocks him down for a knee drop but Sammartino is back up with that lunching kick to the ribs of his. Sammartino stomps him down in the corner but gets caught with a quick clothesline. It’s a decent enough power match but MY GOODNESS Doherty sounds like a 60s cartoon villain and it’s horrible. A bearhug has Sammartino in trouble but he fights back, leaving commentary to talk about….writing a letter? Sammartino backdrops him to the floor and a running knee knocks Hercules to the floor for the countout at 6:45.

Rating: C. No he wasn’t flashy and no he wasn’t going to do much in the ring, but sweet goodness there is something special about watching Sammartino make a comeback. He knows how to fight back and look like someone who is fighting for his life out there. The fact that he could look like this at his age is fascinating and it worked well enough, even with the absolutely dire commentary.

Post match Hercules jumps him again but Sammartino clears him out as you might have expected.

From Monday Night Raw, June 25, 2012.

Here is Heath Slater, who has been having issues with various legends. He is Heath Slater and he….rules the world. Oh dear.

Sycho Sid vs. Heath Slater

Slater panics, as you might expect, and he is slapped down rather quickly. Another knockdown sets up a legdrop, followed by the powerbomb for the pin at 1:27. That’s all it needed to be.

Overall Rating: C. This was kind of a weird set, as it was really two long matches plus some other random stuff. The other problem is a lot of these people wound up wrestling elsewhere, so while this showcased their last matches in WWE, it was far from the end for them. I wasn’t bored with this, but I’ve seen Flair vs. Michaels so many times that it was hard to care again.

Remember to follow me on Twitter and Bluesky @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Royal Rumble 1992
Date: January 19, 1992
Location: Knickerbocker Arena, Albany, New York
Attendance: 17,000
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan

It’s time to get back to one of the classics as this one comes up on the request list pretty regularly. Since this is going to be my fourth time looking at it, odds are this is going to be the last time I look at it for a very good while. You probably know the big attraction by heart at this point and that should be more than enough to carry the whole thing. Let’s get to it.

We open with Vince McMahon narrating a list of Royal Rumble entrants, which does have a certain charm as he is SO into it.

Commentary runs down most of the card. There are only five matches, so a full list wouldn’t be too much to ask.

Orient Express vs. New Foundation

The Express (Kato/Tanaka) has Mr. Fuji with them. Owen and Kato start things off as Heenan ignores everything else to talk about Ric Flair in the Royal Rumble (fair enough in this case). Kato’s O’Connor roll is countered into an armbar, followed by a running hurricanrana to give Owen two. Neidhart comes in for an armbar of his own before it’s off to Tanaka for another showdown.

Tanaka bounces off of Neidhart as commentary talks about Neidhart’s questionable sanity. A spinebuster sets up Owen’s middle rope elbow as commentary finally starts talking about the match in front of them. That lasts all of ten seconds as we switch over to the Mountie winning the Intercontinental Title from a rather sick Bret Hart (not quite) at a recent house show. Heenan: “He had a 104 degree temperature. I’ve wrestled with an 113 degree temperature! It’s not that big of a deal!”

Neidhart hits a double clothesline to set up Owen’s high crossbody, followed by a spinwheel kick for two on Kato. Tanaka gets in a kick from the apron though and a Fuji cane shot lets the villains take over. Kato is back up with a jumping back elbow for two as Heenan tries to leave to consult with Flair before the Rumble. We get our first “fair to Flair” of the day as Owen does Breth’s chest first into the buckle bump. A superkick gives Tanaka two so he does it again, setting up a headbutt to the, ahem, lower abdomen (even commentary isn’t sure on that one).

Owen fights up and gets over for the tag but the referee doesn’t see it thanks to a well timed distraction (because the classics always work). Instead a belly to belly plants Tanaka for two, leaving them both down. Neidhart gets drawn in again, allowing a double clothesline for two on Owen. Another superkick drops Owen again but he gets back up with a double dropkick. The hot tag brings in Neidhart to clean house as everything breaks down. Owen hits a heck of a suicide dive on Kato, setting up the Rocket Launcher for the pin (Monsoon: “Sayonara baby!”) at 17:19.

Rating: C+. This is the kind of match that I miss in modern wrestling: take some talented people and put them in the ring together for a good while with little on the line. I get why it wouldn’t go over well today, but dang it is a nice flashback to a different era. The New Foundation wasn’t exactly as good as the Harts, but they were good enough to put in a nice effort like this one here.

We look at the Mountie defeating the sick Bret Hart to win the Intercontinental Title. Mountie kept the beatdown going after the match until Roddy Piper made the save. Another sneak attack from Mountie didn’t work, but now we have a title match.

Jimmy Hart is ECSTATIC over the Mountie winning the title. Mountie promises to beat Roddy Piper up, while taking his manhood AND his skirt.

Roddy Piper says we’re looking at one of the original Village People in the Mountie. First, Mountie wants to take Piper’s integrity, but Piper doesn’t have any! Then he’s coming for Piper’s manhood. Piper is here to wrestle, but he doesn’t know what Mountie is here to do. Tonight, Piper can win two titles and now he has to go win the first one.

Intercontinental Title: Roddy Piper vs. The Mountie

Mountie is defending and has Jimmy Hart in his corner. Piper unloads to start and Mountie bails outside fast. A Hart distraction lets Mountie get in a few shots, followed by some leapfrogs back inside. You can only do that to Piper for so long though as he sends Mountie into the buckle a few times. There’s a bulldog out of the corner as commentary bickers about how many rights Heenan has.

Hart’s distraction lets Mountie get in a few shots, including some face first rams into the buckle. A sunset flip gives Piper two as Heenan again claims the 113 degree temperature, which he survived thanks to half of a children’s Aspirin. Back up and Piper sends him over the top, only to have Mountie skin the cat. Piper sends him into an interfering Hart though, grabs the sleeper, and wins the title at 5:20.

Rating: D+. The match was nothing, but was anyone buying the Mountie as having a chance against Piper? The whole thing was a way to transition the title off of Bret to set up the eventual showdown with Piper at Wrestlemania. Piper winning a title after all those years as a star is great to see though and that was the other major point. Bad match, but a good result.

Post match Hart tries to come in with Mountie’s shock stick, which Piper takes and uses on the Mountie instead. We do get a classic Fink AND NEEEEW moment, with Piper getting to hold the title for a great moment.

Hulk Hogan is ready to win the Royal Rumble, where he won’t have any friends because he wants the WWF Title back.

The Bushwhackers and Jamison (a disturbingly nerdy guy with a bad suit and a sock sitting out of his pocket) are ready for the Beverly Sisters’ final fling. They’ll beat up the Genius too.

Bushwhackers vs. Beverly Brothers

Jamison and the Genius are here too. We hit the stall button to start, with two and a half minutes passing before the Brothers jump Luke to start the physicality. Luke fights up and bites the back of Blake’s tights, setting up a double forearm to put the Brothers outside. We settle down to Beau vs. Butch as commentary talks about Jack Tunney actually doing something lately.

Beau gets in a cheap shot to take over as commentary talks about 20,000 fans here (17,000 official, so at least it’s not that far off). Everything breaks down again and the Bushwhackers clear the ring for the second time as we are somehow almost seven minutes into this. The Beverlies both try sneaking up from behind to even less avail but this time Butch goes outside to beat up Beau. A cheap shot to Luke finally gets us into a more traditional match, with the Beverlys taking turns with the elbows. Jamison: “Stop cheating!”

A backbreaker puts Luke down again and there’s a headbutt to the back for two. Heenan rants about his tax money going to Jamison as this match just keeps going. Luke gets beaten up again as genius slaps Jamison. One shot is finally enough for Luke to get over for the tag to Butch so house can be cleaned. The Battering Ram hits Blake and a running headbutt gets two on Beau. The referee has to get Luke out though and Blake hits a top rope ax handle to pin Butch at 14:56.

Rating: D-. Yowza this was a horrible match, with nothing good in the way of wrestling, a bunch of repetitive stalling and a lame ending. This was one of the worst pay per view matches I’ve ever seen from the WWF and the time would have been better used by airing an old pinball tournament. Awful in every sense.

Post match the Bushwhackers clean house and hold Genius back so Jamison can kick him in the shin. Good for him I’m sure.

The Legion Of Doom is ready for the Natural Disasters because they’ll fight anyone. Hawk wants the Disasters’ tongues hanging out like dead deers’.

Tag Team Titles: Natural Disasters vs. Legion Of Doom

The Disasters, with Jimmy Hart, are challenging. Hawk wastes no time in swinging away at Typhoon and everything breaks down quickly. Earthquake comes in and shrugs off Hawk’s dropkick, only to miss a (decent actually) dropkick attempt of his own. Gorilla: “He wouldn’t have hit Sky Low Low with that one!” Well no, as it would have been two feet above Low Low’s head. Think Monsoon.

It’s off to Animal for a double clothesline and knockdown, followed by Animal’s failed slam attempt to put him in trouble again. That lasts all of three seconds as Typhoon comes back in and gets his arm cranked, allowing the tag back to Hawk. A backbreaker cuts Hawk down and Typhoon adds a running crotch attack to the back. The required bearhug goes on before Earthquake steps on Hawk’s ribs.

Another bearhug goes on as Heenan is trying to pay someone to go to the back to get Flair information. This one is broken up just as quickly as the other, leaving Earthquake to miss a splash in the corner. Hawk manages a middle rope elbow to the head and it’s finally off to Animal to pick up the pace. Everything breaks down and they fight to the floor, with only Typhoon beating the count back in for the win at 9:24.

Rating: D+. While it wasn’t good, this is just slightly better than the other tag match and that is what matters here. At the end of the day, the match was about setting up something in the future, even if that didn’t quite happen. The match wasn’t exactly fun to watch, as Earthquake and Typhoon are only going to be able to do so much in the ring. Throw in the LOD being a bit limited in their own right and this was about as good as it was going to get.

Post match the brawl is on and the Disasters are cleared out.

In the back, Jimmy Hart and the Disasters rant a lot.

Roddy Piper is very happy with his win and dedicates it to his son Colt.

After a clip of the famous Barber Shop split, Shawn Michaels doesn’t care that Marty Jannetty is out of the Rumble because Shawn is going to win it anyway.

Ric Flair has drawn #3 and doesn’t care, because he’s Ric Flair.

Randy Savage is ready to get back to the top of the mountain.

Sid Justice is ready to win the Royal Rumble.

Repo Man is ready to repossess the WWF Title.

British Bulldog is ready to win another battle royal, just like he won another one last year at Royal Albert Hall in London.

Jake Roberts is ready to get what he needs and beat up Randy Savage at the same time. Trust him.

Mr. Perfect and Ric Flair are ready for the latter to prove that he is the REAL World’s Champion.

Paul Bearer is ready for 29 caskets as the Undertaker is WWF Champion again.

Hulk Hogan is ready for it to be every man for himself in the Royal Rumble so he can get the title back. Hogan was sounding rather whiny and a bit paranoid here.

Jack Tunney gives us a brief welcome and says may the best man win.

WWF Title: Royal Rumble

For the vacant title (after Hulk Hogan cheated to take it back from Undertaker) with two minute intervals. British Bulldog is in at #1 and Ted DiBiase is in at #2 as Heenan is already calculating odds on Flair’s ring time. Bulldog hammers away but charges into an elbow in the corner. DiBiase grabs some suplexes as Heenan suggests going through the ropes and hiding to kill time.

Bulldog gets thrown over the top but hangs on and runs back in to toss DiBiase, leaving Heenan upset. Ric Flair is in at #3 (Heenan: “NO!” Monsoon: “YES!”), sending Monsoon into a statement about how no one from entrants #1-5 has ever made it to the end. Heenan apologizes for not being able to be objective as Bulldog grabs the gorilla press. Flair gets in a poke to the eye for a breather as Jerry Sags is in at #4.

Bulldog gets double teamed as Heenan wants Flair to go rest in the corner. A double clothesline gets Bulldog out of trouble and there’s a dropkick to get rid of Sags (Heenan: “OH NO!”). Haku is in at #5 and goes after Flair (Heenan: “WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING HAKU??? HAVE YOU GONE NUTS???” You know, because HAKU is most well known for his calm, rational demeanor), who actually takes him down and drops a knee to the head. Bulldog gets rid of Flair and Shawn Michaels is in at #6.

A superkick drops Flair fast (not yet the big time finisher) and another….lands in the general vicinity of Bulldog’s head as Heenan wants a stiff drink. We also start the weird timing as Heenan says Flair has been in over ten minutes despite the match not even going for ten minutes yet. Tito Santana is in at #7 and has Flair upside down in the corner (Heenan: “PERFECT! GET OUT HERE!”).

Flair slips out and gives Santana a belly to back suplex, followed by a low blow to Bulldog (Heenan: “I’d do that to my grandmother if I had to!”). The Barbarian is in at #8 (Heenan: “When I managed him, he barely liked me!”) and everyone brawls around without much going on. The Texas Tornado is in at #9 and goes right after Flair as Heenan is sounding increasingly desperate. Things slow down even more (fair enough) as the Repo Man is in at #10, giving us Bulldog, Flair, Michaels, Santana Barbarian, Tornado and Repo Man.

Barbarian and Flair double team Tornado and it’s Greg Valentine (in his bizarre face run) at #11. Naturally he goes right for Flair as Heenan talks about how the Perfect Plan called for Flair to go no more than 30 minutes. Flair kicks Repo Man low and it’s Nikolai Volkoff (Heenan: “300 pound Lithuanian!”) in at #11. Valentine grabs the Figure Four on Flair (Heenan….well you can just imagine) as Volkoff is tossed out to clear some of the ring. The Big Boss Man is in at #12 to pick up the energy a bit.

There goes Valentine, with Repo Man and Bulldog following him. Tornado is out as well as Heenan is begging Flair to get away from Boss Man. Santana and Michaels are both out and it’s Hercules at #13. Flair chops at Barbarian (Heenan: “NO RIC!”) and gets gorilla pressed for his efforts. Hercules dumps Barbarian (saving Flair in the process) but gets tossed as well. Boss Man clotheslines Flair but misses a charge and gets low bridged out, leaving Flair alone in the ring.

It’s Roddy Piper in at #14 and Heenan is beside himself as Flair is in even bigger trouble. Piper beats him up and takes it to the floor to keep up the beating. Back in and it’s an airplane spin into the sleeper to knock Flair mostly out. Jake Roberts is in at #15 to sit in the corner as the sleeper continues. Roberts goes after Piper (Heenan: “Thank you Jake!”) before hitting the short arm clothesline (Heenan: “You no good….”). Piper makes the save (Heenan: “It’s not a skirt! It’s a kilt!”) and Flair puts the Figure Four on Roberts. That’s broken up by Piper (Heenan: “You no good skirt wearing…..”) and it’s Jim Duggan in at #16.

Even Monsoon is praising Flair’s conditioning at this point as Heenan thinks Hulk Hogan is behind the order of entrants. Duggan punches Flair into the corner as Roberts does the same to Piper. It’s IRS in at #17 and it’s a double noggin knocker from Duggan to Roberts/Flair, giving us a Flair Flop. Jimmy Snuka is in at #18 and he still looks weird in those long tights. Heenan: “He’s wasting time!” Monsoon: “He is not!” Heenan: “I don’t know what I’m saying anymore.”

Piper chops on Flair in the corner but hands him off to Roberts, who can’t get rid of him. The Undertaker is in at #20 and Heenan is….oddly kind of calm about it. That gives us Flair, Piper, Roberts, Duggan, IRS, Snuka and Undertaker, with Snuka being tossed almost immediately. Undertaker grabs Flair by the throat, with Heenan declaring that everything is over. Duggan saves Flair and gets kicked low by Undertaker (that’s a weird visual) as Randy Savage is in at #21, meaning Roberts bails straight to the floor (not out).

Undertaker jumps Savage from behind so Piper comes back in, only to get kneed over the top by Savage. Hold on though as Savage dives over the top to go after Roberts again….but Undertaker throws Savage back inside, apparently because he wasn’t THROWN over the top. Ignore that this goes against previously established rules, but since when has that mattered? Flair stomps on Savage in the corner and hits Undertaker low, the latter of which doesn’t seem to matter.

Berzerker is in at #22 and hammers on various people as Heenan panics at Flair going after Savage. Undertaker and Piper choke Flair until Virgil is in at #23. Flair survives an Undertaker elimination attempt and it’s Colonel Mustafa in at #24. Monsoon refers to Flair as “Martel” twice, even as Duggan punches Flair in the face. Piper beats on Flair in the corner and it’s Rick Martel in at #25.

Heenan thinks some of the bigger names have gotten some great luck in the drawing, again forgetting an announcement on Superstars that some of the bigger names were guaranteed later numbers. Mustafa is out and everyone brawls….until Hulk Hogan is in at #26 (Heenan: “OH MY GOD NO!”). The brawl is on again as Heenan starts bargaining with God to let Heenan win. Hogan gets rid of Undertaker and Berzerker back to back with Virgil and Duggan going out at the same time.

Skinner is in at #27 as Heenan thinks Flair should be the Real World’s Champion no matter what. Sgt. Slaughter is in at #28 as Skinner is out. Hogan and Piper go at it, with Monsoon sounding almost surprised because they’re friends, despite having one of the most famous rivalries in wrestling history. Flair officially sets the all time record as Sid Justice is in at #29 to quite the reaction.

More brawling ensues as Warlord is in at #30, giving us a final grouping of Flair, Piper, IRS, Savage, Martel, Hogan, Slaughter, Sid and Warlord. Hogan slams Flair at the top and they both roll outside (not eliminated) to fight some more outside. Sid dumps Slaughter as Monsoon can’t believe that Flair is still here. Granted he also thinks Flair has been here for an hour when we’re still coming up on an hour into the match.

Piper pulls IRS out by the tie and Sid dumps Warlord to get us down to six. Sid gets rid of Martel and Piper, leaving us with Savage, Sid, Hogan and Flair, which makes me want to play Super Wrestlemania. There goes Savage as well, leaving Hogan to punch Flair over the top. Hogan goes to dump him but Sid tosses Hogan instead. Ever the nice guy, Hogan grabs Sid’s arm because “you stole my belt”, allowing Flair to dump Sid (with Hogan’s help) for the win and the title at 1:02:02. Heenan: “YESx50!”

Rating: A. Yes it’s still great and it still works as well as probably any Rumble would for almost ten more years. Flair has a great performance in setting the record and never once seeming like he was laying around for any extended period of time. You also have a star studded lineup with all kinds of people feeling like dark horse candidates, meaning there was little down time. Then of course there’s Heenan, who has the call of a lifetime as you can picture him losing his mind at everything falling apart. Monsoon laughing at Heenan when Flair comes out early but then respecting Flair by the end is great too, making this a masterpiece.

Post match Hogan and Sid bicker a lot, setting up Wrestlemania. I remember watching this at around four years old and wondering why Hogan was upset when he was eliminated without breaking any rules. There was no reason for him to be angry over this and he was just whining.

In the back, Jack Tunney presents Ric Flair with the title, allowing Flair to give the incredible “with a tear in my eye” speech, talking about how this is the title that matters the most in the world. Flair, Perfect and Heenan all WOO in celebration. Perfect: “We’re not the kind of guys to say we told you so but….we told you so!” After Flair cracks up at that one (and Gene gets in the infamous “PUT THAT CIGARETTE OUT!”), Gene signs off and sends us to the highlight package to end the show.

Overall Rating: A-. This is a weird show as the main event is the ONLY thing that matters (though the Piper title win was a very nice moment) and everything else is pretty minor. The problem is one of those two matches is horrible and another is pretty bad, bringing the overall rating down a bit. That being said, this is the definition of a one match show and there is little reason to watch anything but the Intercontinental Title match and the main event. One is a feel good moment and the other is an all time classic, so we’ll call this quite the success.

WWF, 2022, 1992, Redo, Royal Rumble, New Foundation, Orient Express, Mountie, Roddy Piper, Jimmy Hart, Hulk Hogan, Bushwhackers, Beverly Brothers, Jamison, The Genius, Natural Disasters, Legion Of Doom, Ric Flair, Hulk Hogan, Sid Justice, Randy Savage, Undertaker

Ratings Comparison

New Foundation vs. Orient Express

Original: C+
2013 Redo: B-
2018 Redo: C
2023 Redo: C+

The Mountie vs. Roddy Piper

Original: B
2013 Redo: D
2018 Redo: D
2023 Redo: D+

Beverly Brothers vs. Bushwhackers

Original: F+
2013 Redo: T (The Worst Match In Royal Rumble History)
2018 Redo: F
2023 Redo: D-

Legion of Doom vs. Natural Disasters

Original: D
2013 Redo: D
2018 Redo: D
2023 Redo: D+

Royal Rumble

Original: A+
2013 Redo: A
2018 Redo: A-
2023 Redo: A

Overall Rating

Original: B
2013 Redo: B
2018 Redo: B
2023 Redo: A-

I’m pretty much done with this show after this one, though it’s still rather great.

Best Of Big Boss Man
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Rick Stewart, Lord Alfred Hayes, Gorilla Monsoon, Roddy Piper, Bobby Heenan, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is one of the signature series of the WWE Vault as you get to see various wrestlers throughout their careers. In this case it’s someone who is one of the most memorable parts of the company in his day but he only had so much success. This should be a lot of fun as I was quite the fan so let’s get to it.

As usual, we open with a quick intro.

From Starrcade 1986.

Big Bubba Rogers vs. Ron Garvin

Street fight (meaning you win by pinfall or a ten count) and Jim Cornette is here with Rogers (as he was Cornette’s bodyguard). Garvin punches him in the face to start and Bubba is actually staggered, which wasn’t something that happened very often back then. For some reason Garvin agrees to a test of strength but tis a ruse as he hits Bubba in the face again, this time for a trip to the floor.

Back in and Bubba powers him into the corner and then sends him outside (Cornette: “GARVIN’S A COWARD! HE’S TRYING TO RUN!”). Garvin gets back in and gets sent back outside, where he grabs a drink to throw into Bubba’s face. Now the punches start working and Garvin chokes away a bit, only to get kneed in the face. A splash in the corner gives Bubba eight and some hard stomping gets the same, even with Garvin busted open.

Bubba drops an elbow for two and then stands up, allowing Garvin to get up at an eight count (as I try to figure out if that makes sense). A rope gets brought in so Garvin punches him down and chokes with said rope, followed by a bite to bust Bubba open. Bubba is able to come right back with a bearhug, only for Garvin to use some hard headbutts to break it up. Garvin knocks him out to the floor for a six (Cornette: “BUBBA! FIGHT BACK!”) but Garvin just hits Bubba in the head a few more times.

Bubba might hit him low as they go back inside, where Garvin gets in a slam off the top. The kickout sends Garvin onto the referee so he muscles Bubba up for a Texas piledriver. That earns him a tennis racket shot to the head and they’re both out at ten. That doesn’t work though so it’s the first man to his feet to win. Cornette comes in to yell and gets shoved down by the referee, allowing him to to hit Garvin in the knee with the racket. That’s enough for Bubba to be up first for the win at 11:52.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t exactly what you would expect from a street fight, but it was two hard hitting guys beating each other up. I could have gone for a little something more, but at least they felt like they were having a fight. Garvin was laying in those shots and HIT HIM IN THE FACE is quite the logical way to go. Cornette cheating was exactly what you would expect from him and it fit in well with the ending.

From New York City, March 18, 1989.

Big Boss Man vs. Hulk Hogan

In a cage in MSG and Slick is here with the Boss Man. Well in theory as Hogan chases Slick off before getting inside. Hayes says he’s never seen someone climb over the top and get into a cage. This isn’t even the first time he’s called a match where Hogan came in that way. Hogan chokes him with the shirt from behind to start and sends Boss Man into the corner for some running clotheslines.

One of them puts Boss Man down and sets up a suplex as Hogan is rather energetic here. Boss Man gets in a shot of his own and goes up but Hogan is there to chop away on the ropes. Hogan catches him on top and they strike it out, only for Hogan to be shoved down in a bit crash. That’s enough for Boss Man to get over the top but Hogan is up again, this time with the superplex off the top of the cage, which is nowhere near as epic as the famous one on Saturday Night’s Main Event.

The big crash leaves both of them down for a good while until Hogan crawls over to the door. Boss Man gets the boot for the save and Hogan bites him on the head. A spinebuster cuts Hogan off again so Boss Man can choke with a rope. Back up and they ram each other into the cage for another double down. As you might have expected, Hogan gets up first and starts the big comeback, including some rams into the cage.

Boss Man is busted open and Hogan drops the leg so Slick decks the referee and comes inside. This goes as well as you would expect, with Hogan handcuffing Boss Man to the cage. Hogan climbs over as Slick gets the key in, beating him to the floor and hitting Boss Man with a chair as the referee gets up for the win at 11:15.

Rating: B-. It’s no surprise that these two work so well together as they did this match all over the place (including the same day in Boston). Boss Man was as natural of an opponent as Hogan could have had and that’s why he was this role so soon after coming over. It’s not as good as the famous one, but it still worked fine, especially for a house show match.

From Wrestlemania VII.

Before the match, Big Boss Man promises to take the Intercontinental Title from Mr. Perfect, but he’s also out for revenge for Bobby Heenan insulting Boss Man’s mother. The Heenan Family has been mowed down one by one, but now Perfect is the only one left. It’s time for revenge.

Heenan promises to give the people a free look at a law enforcement officer getting a beating. Perfect describes how perfect he happens to be and we’re ready to go.

Intercontinental Title: Big Boss Man vs. Mr. Perfect

Perfect, with Heenan, is defending and Boss Man’s weight loss is remarkable. He’s probably lost about 80lbs since the cage match with Hogan, which was about two years earlier. That’s amazing and he looks FAR better here. Boss Man throws the towel back at Perfect to start and then spits at him before heading outside. Perfect gets punched around ringside and then thrown inside for another beating, including swinging him around BY THE HAIR (GEEZ).

A quick shot to the throat finally cuts Boss Man off and we hit the chinlock, with Perfect starting in on the back. The abdominal stretch goes on and Heenan is demanding the bell is rung. There has to be a Montreal joke there somewhere. Perfect hits a dropkick into the necksnap but the PerfectPlex is countered into a small package. Instead Perfect comes back with something close to a running Blockbuster (with Bossman’s legs almost getting bent backwards underneath him).

Perfect goes up but gets knocked out of the air, sending Heenan into panic mode. Boss Man crotches him against the post but Heenan offers a distraction, allowing Perfect to get in a ram into the steps. That’s a bit too far though and here is ANDRE THE GIANT (thankfully able to walk) to even things up. Andre picks up the title and wacks Perfect in the head, leaving both of them down. Boss Man slowly goes over…and the Heenan Family runs in for the DQ at 10:46.

Rating: C+. These guys had some rather nice chemistry together and it wound up working well, with both of them getting in some offense. It still doesn’t make a ton of sense to have Perfect retain the title here, as he could have gotten it back to drop it to Bret Hart at Summerslam. Either way, the match worked out well, with Boss Man doing some of his best work at this point.

Post match the brawl is on, with Andre helping Boss Man clean house. Andre leaves and Boss Man comes up from behind him and grabs him by the shoulder, with Andre looking like he’s ready to kill him. Everything is cool though.

From Summerslam 1991.

Big Boss Man vs. The Mountie

The loser spends the night in jail and Jimmy Hart is here with the Mountie. Boss Man slugs away to start and knocks Mountie down, only to have Mountie get away from the running crotch attack against the rope. Instead Hart offers a distraction, allowing Mountie to poke him in the eye. Mountie is pulled out of the air, which is rather impressive, and sets up a hard spinebuster. Hart offers another distraction so Mountie can get in a cheap shot to take over.

Back in and a jumping elbow to the back of the face drops Boss Man again. Boss Man misses a charge into the corner to make it even worse, followed by some elbows for a really lazy looking cover. A forearm to the chest knocks Boss Man off the apron and a piledriver gets two back inside. Mountie stands around for a long time until Hart gets up for the distraction. The shock stick doesn’t connect though and it’s a Boss Man Slam…for two? Well that isn’t something you see very often. Instead it’s one heck of an Alabama Slam to give Boss Man the pin at 9:37.

Rating: B-. The Alabama Slam alone was worth a look, as Boss Man laid him out with that thing. Other than that, it was one of the last big time Boss Man matches, even without much of a reason for doubt. Boss Man going to jail isn’t exactly a thing, while Mountie going to jail has quite the comedic potential. Which is what wound up happening.

Post match Mountie is sent into the police van and taken away….and we don’t see the rest, though this isn’t about him.

From Spring Stampede 1994 (and since we’re in WCW, he has a very original new name).

The Boss vs. Vader

Harley Race is here with Vader. The brawl starts on the ramp, with Race holding Boss but getting crushed by Vader by mistake. Boss knocks Vader over the rope and inside as the bell rings, meaning it’s time to strike away. A big boot and running right hand knock Vader back onto the ramp, where he hits a hard clothesline of his own. Vader throws him over the top and back inside, where a running splash (from the ramp and over the top) hits raised knees.

They go back outside with Vader being sent into the barricade and then then dropped onto it via quite the power display from Boss. Back in again and a rather easy looking slam drops Vader again but he gets back up. They slug it out and Vader gives him a backdrop over the top, with Boss barely getting the rope to help with the flip over. A splash crushes Boss back inside and Vader unloads in the corner.

Back up and Boss slugs away, including a running clothesline to the bleeding Vader. Boss gets run over again so Vader goes up, where Boss powerbombs him down for quite the impressive crash. A middle rope DDT gives Boss two so he goes up for a high crossbody of all things. That looked a bit weird and it makes sense as Boss goes up again but gets powerslammed off the top. The Vader Bomb only gets two so it’s a top rope moonsault to finish Boss at 9:04.

Rating: B+. This was one of Boss’s best matches ever, as he knew how to have a fight rather than wrestling. That’s exactly what it felt like here, as Boss was more than capable of hanging with Vader physically. There is very little in wrestling more entertaining than watching two big guys beating the living daylights out of each other until one of them falls and that’s what we got here. Awesome power brawl.

Post match Race loads up the handcuffs but Boss (or BOSS MAN according to Heenan) fight shim off and unloads on both of them with the nightstick.

From Fall Brawl 1994 and he’s now the Guardian Angel, which was a real group of citizen police. In other words, the WWF threatened to sue, which made sense in this case as THE BOSS might as well have been the exact same gimmick as he had in the WWF.

Guardian Angel vs. Vader vs. Sting

This is a triangle match (meaning two of them have a match and the winner faces the other man in a second match) for a future World Title match and Harley Race is here with Vader. They flip coins and Sting is the odd man out so it’s Vader vs. Angel, winner faces Sting immediately after. Angel gets in Sting’s face and tells him to stay out of this, with Sting agreeing but not liking the tone at all.

They shove each other a bit to start and then go to a test of strength, with Vader powering him down. Vader unloads on him in the corner but some running clotheslines give Angel a breather. The slam doesn’t work though and Vader is right back with the forearms in the corner. Guardian gets in a shot of his own and manages a rather impressive slam. An elbow between the legs sets up a less than successful slam attempt and Vader drops him face.

The chinlock goes on for a bit, only for Angel to fight up and hit a running crossbody for two. Another running charge sends Vader outside in a heap and Angel is back up. Vader decks Race by mistake and a slam gives Angel two back inside. The sliding uppercut underneath the ropes connects with Vader’s jaw but the referee gets bumped, meaning the Boss Man Slam gets no count. Race gets up and hits Angel, allowing the Vader Bomb to put him away at 7:07.

After a brief rest period, Sting comes out and we’re ready for the second round. Vader shoves him around to start and backs him into the corner, where Sting Hulks Up. That earns him the standing splash for the easy knockdown, followed by the Vader Bomb. Rather than covering, Vader tries it again but Sting cuts him off. Sting strikes away until a shot to the face drops him just as fast. Another Vader Bomb misses and Sting clotheslines him over the top. Sting suplexes Race on the floor and Vader back inside, followed by a splash…which hits raised knees.

The moonsault misses for Vader though and the fans are going nuts, despite Sting not doing much here. A superplex drops Vader again and the big elbow actually connects for Sting. The Samoan drop gives Sting two more and he German suplexes Vader down (that looked great) for two. Back up and Vader fires off the forearms, which trigger the Hulk Up. Sting drops him again with four minutes left and some top rope clotheslines have Vader in more trouble.

The top rope splash gets two with two minutes left and Vader is back up with a belly to back suplex. Vader goes up but dives into a powerslam, as tends to happen to him. Sting gets two off a clothesline and grabs the Scorpion but can’t get it all the way on as time expires at 25:56 total (15:00 of Sting vs. Vader).

Therefore it’s a five minute overtime and Vader kicks Sting down, followed by a hard suplex for two. Sting is sat on top but breaks up a superplex attempt with three minutes left. Vader crashes down but Sting is too banged up to do anything other than get down and weakly cover for two. This time it’s Vader going up and getting super backdropped down. Vader clotheslines him down for two more as we have a minute to go. A big splash gives Vader two more and he hits the powerbomb but takes too long to cover as time expires at 32:14.

So it’s now sudden death, meaning it’s the first person to be knocked down loses. Vader starts slugging away and Sting can barely stay up as he staggers to the ropes in a great visual. A big collapse into the corner isn’t enough for a knockdown and Vader is getting mad. Well madder. Sting fights back and knocks Vader against the ropes so Race gets on the apron. Cue the Guardian Angel to cut him off, with the referee following them. Sting drops the referee but a masked man (who has been causing issues as of late) runs in to deck Sting, allowing Vader to get up and win at 34:26.

Rating: B+. This is a weird one, as it’s literally two falls in one match with different wrestlers involved. The Angel vs. Vader stuff is decent, but Sting vs. Vader is the usual incredible showdown. It took some time to warm up but once they got going, it was a huge slugfest, with Sting staggering to stay on his feet being excellent stuff. If nothing else, this made Vader look like a killer, as he beat both guys back to back.

From Monday Night Raw, November 30, 1998.

Hardcore Title: Big Boss Man vs. Mankind

Mankind, with the JOB Squad, is defending in a ladder match and Commissioner Shawn Michaels is here with Boss Man. The Squad is chased off to start and Boss Man hits him in the head with the nightstick. Mankind is right back with a ladder to the head (Shawn gives it a minus two) and then drops the ladder onto Boss Man (Shawn gives it a one). They get inside and Mankind goes up but dives onto Boss Man rather than go for the belt.

An elbow to the ladder with Boss Man inside (good for a six) crushes him again and there’s a double arm DDT to keep him down. Boss Man cuts off the climb though and sends Mankind into the ladder in the corner. That’s good for a ten from Shawn but Mankind uses Socko to cut off a climb. Cue the Rock (in a shirt, trunks and tennis shoes for a weird look) to shove the ladder over and hit a Rock Bottom. Boss Man gets the title (his first in the WWF or WCW) at 6:20.

Rating: C. There’s a reason this time period is so well remembered, as there was so much going on. This match had interference, a ladder, Michaels’ running score gag, and the Rock in that weird get up. That’s quite a bit to cover in one match, which doesn’t even hit six and a half minutes. And it’s for the Hardcore Title. At least Boss Man finally got his hands on some gold, which was something he had earned over the years.

Post match the beatdown stays on for a bonus.

From Monday Night Raw, December 14, 1998.

Tag Team Titles: New Age Outlaws vs. Big Boss Man/Ken Shamrock

Boss Man and Shamrock, with Shawn Michaels, are challenging. Boss Man shoulders Gunn down a few times to start so Gunn tells him to bring it. Some dropkicks clear the ring and even Dogg gets in one of his own. Back in and Boss Man gets in a shot to Gunn’s leg and take over. Shamrock knows how to go after a limb and takes the knee pad down to stay on the leg. Some elbows to the leg leave Gunn unable to run the ropes and Dogg comes in for a quick shot for a breather.

Shamrock tries a hurricanrana but gets countered into a sitout powerbomb. That’s enough for the tag off to Dogg but Michaels chairs him in the back. The Boss Man Slam is good for two so Gunn is back in, only to get distracted by Michaels. That earns Gunn a nightstick to the head and he’s out as the ankle lock goes on to make Shamrock and Boss Man (already the Intercontinental and Hardcore Champion) Tag Team Champions at 6:47.

Rating: C. This was another match where they packed in quite a bit of stuff, though thankfully not as bad as the previous one. At the same time, I’m really not sure that a mega stable like the Corporation needed two double champions. There were no other wrestlers who could have taken those titles? Either way, at least Shamrock seemed thrilled with the title win, as you should.

Overall Rating: B-. For lack of a better term, Boss Man was good at being a boss for someone to fight. It made his matches with people like Hogan or Vader work so well, as Boss Man had the size to match up with them, but he could also be a big power guy against more normal sized opposition. He had a sneaky good collection of matches as well, as once he slimmed down and figured out his style, it was working far better. This was a lot of fun and I can see why I was a fan of his for such a long time.

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Saturday Night’s Main Event #30
Date: February 8, 1992
Location: Lubbock Municipal Coliseum, Lubbock, Texas
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Bobby Heenan

This isn’t exactly a great time for the show but it’s certainly a star studded show. We’re coming up on Wrestlemania VIII and the big story is that Hulk Hogan is scheduled to get the WWF Title shot against Ric Flair. Sid Justice isn’t happy about Hogan getting the chance and they happen to be teaming up against Flair and Undertaker. Let’s get to it.

We get a rather generic opening sequence showing some of the bigger names on the show. This is very early 90s.

Intercontinental Title: Roddy Piper vs. The Mountie

Piper is defending, which isn’t something you often get to say and Jimmy Hart is here with Mountie. Hart steals the belt before the match so Piper (wrestling in a shirt) sends both of them outside for a double noggin knocker. Back in and Mountie ties him in the Tree of Woe to kick away as we get some comments from Bret Hart, who gets the winner at Wrestlemania (he doesn’t care who he faces).

The referee gets bumped and Mountie hits a piledriver, but Hart hands him some water. Mountie pours the water on Piper and then uses the shock stick…but Piper pops up. A right hand drops Mountie and Piper steals the shock stick to knock him out instead. As luck would have it, the referee is up and Piper retains at 3:31.

Rating: C. The match was nothing special but the point was in the surprise of Piper jumping up after the shock stick. Piper had already gotten his big moment of winning the title at the Royal Rumble so this was just a bit of a bonus. Mountie wasn’t going to a long term star around the title picture so having him lose to Piper twice in a row is fine.

Post match Piper takes off his shirt to reveal a vest labeled SHOCK PROOF. Yep, that’s rather fitting of someone as smart as Piper.

We look at the end of the Royal Rumble, with Sid Justice dumping Hulk Hogan but getting tossed by Ric Flair for the win. Note the VERY dubbed audio that has the fans chanting for Hogan, which was absolutely not the case in real time. Sid and Hogan got into it after the match and had to be held apart. Then Hogan got the title shot anyway because…well because Jack Tunney was kind of a goof. Sid was rightfully livid and thinks he’s getting cheated because he’s the newcomer.

But then earlier today, Sid apologized for going too far, especially against Hogan. Uh, right.

Hogan and Sid seem to be ok, but Sid doesn’t get to talk because Hogan wants to talk about going to Wrestlemania. Sid just leaves as Hogan talks and yeah, Hogan has earned whatever he has coming to him.

Ric Flair/Undertaker vs. Sid Justice/Hulk Hogan

Mr. Perfect and Paul Bearer are here with the villains and Hogan brings out Brutus Beefcake as a surprise. Flair and Sid start things off with Sid hitting a big backdrop into a hiptoss. That’s enough to send Flair outside where he seems to be limping a bit, which is made worse as Hogan backdrops and hiptosses him as well.

Undertaker gets hiptossed and it’s back to Sid, who slams him down. Hogan comes back in with a pair of slams as he keeps doing the same things Sid does, but more. Undertaker manages to get in a shot to Sid though and a double clothesline gets two. A double atomic drop puts Sid down again as the villains take over. Hogan makes another save as everything breaks down, with Hogan telling Sid what to do. A double big boot and a double clothesline clear the ring as we take a break.

We come back with Undertaker sneaking up on Sid to take over. Sid gets taken into the corner and Undertaker even gets in a top rope right hand. A double noggin knocker gets Sid out of trouble and Hogan comes in to clean house. Perfect grabs the leg though and Flair gets to start in on the knee.

The Figure Four goes on and Sid isn’t even looking at the ring. Hogan turns it over and escapes as Sid is looking bored on the apron. Undertaker comes back in for the jumping clothesline as Beefcake begs Sid to get in the ring and help. Flair comes in and chops away, which of course triggers the Hulk Up. Hogan knocks them both down and goes for the tag but Sid walks out. The double teaming continues until it’s a DQ at 11:35.

Rating: C. I’ve been a Hogan fan since before I can remember and he’s the reason I got into wrestling in the first place. Watching this match back made me want to see Sid punch him in the mouth. Hogan was an absolute jerk to Sid, both here and at the Rumble (plus in the pre-match promo) and deserved everything that happened to him. And he never even learns as this is eerily similar to what happened with Paul Orndorff six years earlier!

Post match Hogan beats both of them up as Beefcake gets in the ring to watch. Well of course Hogan can just do that.

In the back, Sid isn’t sorry for what happened because Hogan couldn’t beat Flair or himself on his best day.

Post break, Hogan says Sid turned his back on everyone, but thank goodness for Brutus Beefcake (who did….nothing), who was always there for him. Beefcake thanks Hogan for being there in the hospital with him and Hogan dedicates his title match at Wrestlemania (which didn’t happen) to Beefcake, who only had a quick cameo at the show. Of note: this was clearly taped before the match, as Hogan isn’t even sweating just a few minutes after a match.

Sgt. Slaughter/Jim Duggan vs. Beverly Brothers

Duggan backs Blake into the corner to start but gets whipped into…Slaughter, who blocks Duggan from hitting the buckle. The Genius gets in a cheap scroll shot to Duggan and Blake jumps over Beau onto Duggan’s back. Duggan fights out and hands it off to Slaughter, who grabs an abdominal stretch of all things. Everything breaks down and Duggan hits a clothesline for the pin (with the camera looking at Duggan rather than Slaughter’s cover) at 2:39. Nothing to this one.

Randy Savage talks about Jake Roberts making him inside. Oh Randy that ship sailed a long time ago.

Jake Roberts vs. Randy Savage

Savage jumps him from behind to start and sends Roberts into the post, possibly breaking Roberts’ nose. They get inside with Savage hammering away but a poke to the eye cuts him off. Savage is sent outside but comes back in, where Roberts sends him into the buckle. And then outside again. Roberts sends him into the barricade and we take a break. We come back with Savage crawling back inside, where Roberts punches him out of the air and hits the DDT. The short arm clothesline lets Roberts applaud a bit but the DDT is countered with a backdrop to the floor. Back in and the big elbow finishes Roberts at 5:25.

Rating: B-. These two always seemed like they were ready to kill each other but they never had that one huge match. The one at Tuesday In Texas was white hot but it only works so well with such a short amount of time. At least Savage got the pin and survived the DDT, which really should be the end of the feud.

Post match Savage grabs his trusty ring bell but referees and agents cut him off. Elizabeth comes out to celebrate with Savage…as Roberts is waiting on them behind the curtain after the show. While it wasn’t shown here (but later aired on Superstars), Roberts grabbed a chair and was going to smash one of them as they came through the curtain.

That would be Elizabeth, but Undertaker of all people grabbed the chair from him, allowing Elizabeth to escape and Savage to chair Roberts down. Commentary sold the heck out of this, with both of them swearing, as Vince even called Sid a son of a b****. And that’s how Undertaker turned face in an awesome segment that showed there was a point even he wouldn’t cross.

Overall Rating: C+. You could tell that the steam was WAY out of Saturday Night’s Main Event at this point but this one did at least set up a few things at Wrestlemania. The wrestling wasn’t much to see though and the Hogan praise was insufferable. The good thing is it only ran an hour, as this was all about the angles and that wasn’t going to last much longer. We got enough Hogan stuff just in this show, and thank goodness he was leaving soon after this because it was almost impossible to take. Not a great show, but it did serve a purpose.

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WWF House Show
Date: November 30, 1991
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 15,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Bobby Heenan, Lord Alfred Hayes

Eh let’s have some fun with something like this as the house shows are almost always a good time. We are freshly off the Survivor Series, meaning Undertaker is actually the WWF Champion at the moment. That’s not something you see very often at this point but it could make for something interesting. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence, as this is from the WWE Old School series.

Commentary welcomes us to the show and you can see Tito Santana (El Matador in this case) coming to the ring behind them.

Tito Santana vs. Kato

Oh this is a house show opener for sure. Kato tries to jump him to start and gets armdragged down for his efforts. Some shots against the ropes slow Santana a bit and he can’t get an O’Connor roll. A running clothesline works a bit better though and Kato crashes out to the floor. Back in and the armdrag into the armbar has Kato in more trouble as commentary talks about Hulk Hogan vs. Ric Flair.

A hiptoss takes Kato back down and we hit the armbar again. Kato finally fights up and grabs a backbreaker for his first real offense. Another backbreaker gives Kato two and we hit the reverse chinlock, though Heenan wants a Boston crab. Santana powers up, with McMahon going into a bizarre (for him) explanation of the physics of how Santana is doing this the hard way. Kato’s rollup with feet on the ropes gets two so Santana gives him a faceplant. Another knockdown sets up El Paso del Muerte (Flying Salsa according to Heenan) to finish Kato at 10:05.

Rating: C. Santana is almost as perfect of an opening match wrestler as you can get as the fans know and respect him. It made for a fine match, even against a low level tag wrestler like Kato. The comeback worked and while the match might not have been anything great, it did exactly what it needed to do.

Texas Tornado vs. Berzerker

Berzerker jumps him to start and hits a big (furry) boot but misses a dropkick. Tornado slugs away and clotheslines him to the floor (with Tornado trying a second one and hitting Berzerker’s upside down feet). Back in and Tornado misses a charge into the post and they head outside, where Berzerker is sent into the steps. That’s enough for the countout at 2:02, likely because Tornado appeared to be somewhere over Jupiter. Vince: “That’s one of the strangest matches I’ve ever seen in Madison Square Garden.”

Virgil vs. Skinner

Virgil throws the punches to start and gets slapped in the corner for his efforts. This leaves Vince to ask Alfred about rumors of a comeback, with Hayes, who hadn’t wrestled in eight and a half years, laughing it off. Skinner bails to the floor before coming back in, with Virgil backing him into the corner. An atomic drop sets up a headlock, which is driven into the corner so Skinner can hit a shoulder to the ribs.

Skinner seems to bite Virgil’s ear before sending him outside for the assorted stomping. Back in and Virgil slugs away, only to get tossed to the floor again. A reverse DDT drops Virgil for a terribly slow count, which doesn’t matter anyway as Virgil had a foot on the rope. An elbow to the face gets two more and my goodness the referee is actually getting slower. Vince complains about said referee, saying he was both out of position and “rotund”. Geez man. Anyway, Virgil gets a sunset flip for the pin at 6:08.

Rating: D. I’ve seen Skinner have a good match on occasion, but that was not the case here. This was every bit as dull of a match as you would have expected and it somehow dragged down a show which was already pretty low when this match started. Oh and commentary was right on the referee. That was inexcusable and I’m sure it has to do with the athletic commission, which has a place, but not when it comes to picking referees.

Hulk Hogan vs. Ric Flair

Mr. Perfect is…not here with Flair, despite being introduced with him. Flair struts on the apron to start and the chase is on, with Flair managing to strike away in the corner back inside. Hogan switches places and fires off the chops, followed by a running clothesline. A hiptoss is blocked and Hogan knocks him to the floor, meaning it’s time for some quick posing.

Flair gets sent into various hard objects and a clothesline sends him into the fans. Back in and something is stuck to Flair’s back but falls off when he grabs a belly to back suplex. That’s shrugged off for a hard whip into the corner, leaving Flair to hit the ineffective chops. Going to the eyes only gets Flair so far as he heads up top, only to crash down in the exactly expected manner. The big boot and legdrop connect but Flair gets his foot on the rope just in time. That means Hogan has to yell at the referee, allowing Flair to kick at the knee.

NOW Mr. Perfect comes to the ring, allowing Flair to wrap the knee around the post. Perfect does it as well and then rams the knee onto the apron, with Heenan thinking his monitor has gone dark. The Figure Four goes on with Perfect grabbing the hands, though Hogan is able to turn it over anyway. Since the referee is a moron, Perfect is able to hand Flair a foreign object for the big knockout pin at 9:25. And hang on as some other officials come out and find the object, meaning it’s a reversed decision.

Rating: C. This was a good example of what was wrong with Hogan vs. Flair: it was really only interesting on paper. They didn’t have much in the way of chemistry and there is only so much drama in Flair using the Figure Four. Outside of some crazy sneaky cheating, Flair feels more like a pest to Hogan than a threat and that’s not going to work. And hey look, it really didn’t.

As usual, Hogan takes his sweet time posing after the match.

It seems that we skip intermission as commentary previews the second half.

Jim Duggan vs. Barbarian

Barbarian throws his….cape? Pelt? Whatever it is, at Duggan, who beats on it with his 2×4 in a funny start. They lock up to start about a minute and a half in and it’s an early standoff. A lockup goes to Barbarian as he shoves Duggan into the corner for some more stalling. Duggan knocks him to the floor, followed by some knees to the ribs back inside as Heenan goes on a pro-Flair rant.

Barbarian comes back with a choke on the ropes and they just start brawling, with the referee doing NOTHING. Vince is all over him (same one as earlier) as Barbarian plants Duggan and grabs the bearhug. Duggan fights out and is quickly cut off with a shot to the ribs. The bearhug sequel goes on and stays for a bit longer, though Duggan slugs out again. Some clotheslines and right hands in the corner rock Barbarian before another clothesline finishes for Duggan at 7:48.

Rating: D+. This is another case where you know what you’re going to get as soon as the match is announced as it’s not like they’re going to do anything else. That doesn’t make it any better, but at least we got to see the worst referee imaginable again. Commentary is right to mock him endlessly, as he does absolutely nothing out there and it just keeps getting worse.

Post match Barbarian jumps him again but Duggan grabs the 2×4 to clear the ring.

Intercontinental Title: Bret Hart vs. The Mountie

Hart is defending and gets his whole hometown listed while Mountie is just from “Canada”. I guess you have to be a champion to get a city. Then again, law and order represents all of Canada so maybe it’s appropriate. Mountie holds him off with the shock stick so here is the Big Boss Man to take it away, allowing Hart to jump Mountie and start fast. Some rams into the corner and an elbow put Mountie down, followed by an elbow for two.

Mountie comes back with some forearms and a bite to the head, with Vince praising the referee (a WWF regular) for breaking it up. Hart bites him right back as Vince makes sure that Hayes is awake. Some right hands in the corner have Mountie in trouble as Hart is looking more fired up than usual for a house show. Hart’s charge hits the post and Mountie elbows him down for two more.

Now Hart goes chest first into the buckle (there it is) and the reverse chinlock goes on. Mountie even pulls the hair for a bonus, with Heenan saying is a way to grow the hair. With that not working, Mountie puts him in the tree of woe for some upside down hair pulling. Heenan complains about Boss Man taking the shock stick away from the Mountie, who is the Excellence Of Electrocution (if that isn’t an electrical company somewhere in the south, I don’t know what we’re doing).

A chair to the ribs (right in front of the referee) has Hart down again on the floor, followed by a piledriver back inside. Some rams into the buckle give Mountie two but Hart ducks a middle rope crossbody. Hart starts the comeback by slugging away, setting up the Five Mo…well never mind actually as the middle rope elbow is enough for the pin to retain at 12:57.

Rating: C+. The ending was definitely a surprise and I can go with that over seeing the same things over and over again. Hart was clearly rising up the card at this point and there was a reason to believe that he was going to be turning into one of the bigger names. Mountie wasn’t a bad opponent either and this worked well enough.

IRS vs. Big Boss Man

After insulting the litany of tax cheats in New York, IRS bails to the floor. Boss Man picks up the referee and gets jumped from behind, but manages to get a boot up in the corner. That’s enough to send IRS outside again and we hit the stall button again. Back in and Boss Man hits the running crotch attack to the back of the head, followed by a nice ram to the buckle (with the referee getting in the way for a bit before letting it go).

A running splash in the corner crushes IRS again but a missed charge cuts Boss Man off fast. That’s enough to send Boss Man outside and IRS gets in a heck of a posting. Back in and some elbows give IRS two, followed by the abdominal stretch (with a rope grab of course). With that not working, the chinlock goes on, followed by some cranking on the leg to keep things fresh.

Another chinlock goes on but this time Boss Man reverses into a sleeper. That’s broken up as they both fall down (likely out of boredom) before Boss Man misses another charge into the corner. The chinlock goes on again but thankfully Boss Man is out faster this time, setting up a running splash for…no count. Back up and IRS sends him outside, where the Mountie runs in for a running knee. IRS goes up and dives into a raised boot, followed by a regular boot to the face. Mountie gets on the apron so IRS nails Boss Man with the briefcase for the pin at 13:41.

Rating: D+. Boss Man was falling fast by this point and that was on full display here. There was quite a bit going on, but losing a singles match to IRS really isn’t a great sign. This would have been better with about five minutes cut out, but Boss Man’s top days were long gone and this was about as good as it was going to be for the rest of his run with the company. The match was just a bunch of dull stuff with Boss Man trying to get in some offense but not getting anything going. IRS isn’t about to be exciting no matter what he’s doing, so how was this going to work?

Rockers vs. Nasty Boys

The Rockers have been having some issues as of late. We get a long stretch of stalling after the bell, with no contact for the first two minutes of the match. Sags bails to the floor but Knobbs suckers Michaels in for a cheap shot so Sags can take over. Michaels bites the nose to get out of an early bearhug and it’s Jannetty coming in with a double clothesline from the top.

Jannetty comes in and, after about a minute of standing around, Knobbs comes in and gets punched in the face. The jumping back elbow sets up the armbar on Knobbs, who fights up without much trouble. Jannetty sticks the landing on a backdrop attempt and gets two off a rollup, meaning the armbar can go on again. Michaels comes in for his own armbar before doing the same thing to Sags.

The Boys fight back but Michaels is right up top for a shot to the head. Michaels goes after Knobs on the apron though and Sags jumps him from behind to take over. That includes a pair of postings on the floor, setting up the reverse chinlock back inside. After quite a bit of that, Knobbs comes back in for a bearhug as this just keeps going. Sags’ side slam gets two but Michaels is back with a sunset flip…which the referee doesn’t notice for a good while.

Sags kicks out and grabs a bearhug of his own, even taking it to the mat in case the regular version was too interesting. Michaels finally gets his knees up for something close to a low blow and the much needed tag brings in Jannetty to clean house. Everything breaks down and Sags elbows Knobbs by mistake. Jannetty gets a small package on Sags, which is turned over. Jannetty turns that over as well, but Michaels isn’t paying attention and turns it back over to give Sags the pin at 17:54. Even commentary seems confused.

Rating: D+. The match wasn’t very good and the ending was unique, but the problem here was how uninteresting the whole thing was. You had the long stalling at the beginning and then a lot of laying around in holds. There is something to be gotten from doing a match like that, but there needs to be a lot more than “here’s the same hold for a few minutes and then the same thing from my partner”. We didn’t get there here and it tanked the match.

Michaels explains himself as the issues continue. These two need to talk. Like at a barber shop. About two days from now.

Overall Rating: D. This was pretty dull stuff, with nothing worth going out of your way to see and only a handful of passable matches throughout. Hart was doing his thing well enough and Michaels would be VERY different when they were back here next time, but egads this did not work. I was interested in seeing what they had here and now it’s easy to see why this was such a dead time for the company.

Remember to follow me on Twitter and Bluesky @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Survivor Series 1991
Date: November 27, 1991
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 17,500
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan

Things are a bit different here but the real change will come next year. The main thing here is that we have a world title match in the first singles match in the history of this show. Undertaker has gone from squashing jobbers to the stars to squashing people out of the company to terrorizing Savage and Liz at their wedding to being #1 contender. Hogan hasn’t done anything since Wrestlemania so a change of opponents will do him a world of good. Oh and Ric Flair is here. Let’s get to it.

We open with a clip from Superstars with Savage being tied up in the ropes as Jake Roberts made the cobra bite Savage’s arm. Piper immediately ran down from the broadcast booth to try to help. Liz came out screaming as well. This is when Savage was a commentator and retired but looking for reinstatement.

The key thing is he had been scheduled to be on the PPV as a captain against Jake’s team, but because of this, both captains were pulled off the show with three days’ notice, basically baiting and switching the fans. The actual match between the two of them would be a week later on a different PPV called Tuesday in Texas, which was another $20.

Anyway back on Superstars, Savage can’t stand up because of the snake bite but he keeps trying to fight Jake. They finally get Savage on a stretcher and start wheeling him away but he falls off. Now we get to the unintentional comedy part of this. Savage falls off and remember that Vince is on commentary here, so he’s FREAKING over all this stuff. The camera cuts to a crying child in the crowd and Vince loses it, audibly cracking up on air and trying to talk about “complete chaos” while clearly laughing.

We get the announcement from Jack Tunney that Savage and Roberts won’t be allowed to wrestle at Survivor Series. This is translated as “HAHA WE GOT YOUR MONEY ALREADY!”

Gorilla and Bobby talk for a bit.

Team Ric Flair vs. Team Roddy Piper

Ric Flair, Ted DiBiase, The Mountie, The Warlord

Roddy Piper, Bret Hart, Davey Boy Smith, Virgil

Roddy was Flair’s first feud in the company as not only did you know the matches would be good, but the promos would be awesome too. Bret was feuding with Mountie over the IC Title, Smith was feuding with Warlord over who was stronger and Virgil was feuding with DiBiase because who else was he going to feud with?

Flair has the REAL World Title with him here, which is mosaiced but if you know your titles, you can see a WWF Tag Team Title, which looks really weird if you’re in the arena (if you’re not familiar with what I’m talking about, the short version is Flair was NWA Champion, left the NWA, wasn’t paid back for the deposit he put down on the belt, brought it to the WWF, got sued, and couldn’t use the title in the angle they were doing anymore so they would substitute in another belt which was censored in storyline.)

Big reaction for Bret, who has finally split from Neidhart and is IC Champion as of Summerslam. DiBiase starts for his team against Piper which is a pretty awesome match. No managers are allowed at ringside this year but Sherri is there anyway. Flair sneaks in and blasts Piper in the back to give Ted an early advantage. Piper atomic drops Ted and Sherri comes in to choke him which somehow isn’t a DQ. Piper kisses her and punches DiBiase to take over.

Sherri is sent to the back and Roddy brings in Smith. The good guys work over the arm of DiBiase with Virgil of all people getting the biggest pop. After all four go in they start going around again with all four getting in another set of shots on the arm. Bret stays in but misses a knee in the corner to put himself in trouble. They trade near falls before Bret takes him right back down by the arm.

DiBiase hiptosses him down and wisely tags in Flair. Bret starts with some of his favorite moves before tagging in Davey Boy to slingshot Flair into the corner. Piper wants in but Flair stops the tag. There’s the gorilla press to Flair and the tag to Piper, drawing a BIG pop from the crowd. Piper goes nuts with punches, knocking Flair to the floor where we get a Flair Flop.

Back inside and it’s off to Warlord who Piper wants to try a test of strength against. Piper is just playing though and brings in Smith for the big power match. Smith hits some shoulder blocks but misses a charge and it’s off to Mountie. Bret tags in and Mountie immediately hits the floor. Instead here’s DiBiase who gets elbowed off the middle rope for two. Ted and Bret hit head to head and both guys are down.

Mountie is willing to get in there now but it’s back to Davey instead. Smith gorilla presses Mountie and pumps him about three times before slamming him down for no cover. Off to Flair who chops away at the Bulldog which doesn’t work at all. DiBiase and Flair try a double team but get double clotheslined instead. There’s the powerslam to Mountie but he’s not legal. Flair comes off the top with a shot to the back of Smith’s head for the pin and the elimination. Both guys were legal too.

Piper immediately charges in but Flair tags DiBiase back instead. Flair comes in to face a downed Piper but Ric is put in the Figure Four almost immediately. Off to Mountie vs. Virgil and Mountie can’t get a tag out from anyone, because everyone is afraid of Virgil. I can’t say I blame them. He might tell them about how great he is. Flair comes in and has zero luck so it’s DiBiase vs. Virgil again. Ted powerslams him down and it’s immediately back to the Warlord.

Virgil gets sent to the floor and Flair sends him into the steps, with Virgil doing an awful job of pretending to slam into them. The full nelson goes on but everything breaks down and Bret comes off the top to take out Warlord, giving the illegal Piper the pin to tie us up at 3. Piper vs. DiBiase now before Virgil is quickly tagged in. Virgil slaps the Million Dollar Dream on DiBiase but Ted sends him into the buckle to escape.

Here’s Flair again with a belly to back supelx before it’s back to Mountie. Every remaining heel takes their shots on Virgil which is likely the best possibly option. I mean, do you want VIRGIL getting the hot tag? Flair covers him for two and puts his feet on the ropes because that’s what Flair does. DiBiase comes in and ducks his head, only to get caught by a swinging neckbreaker. There’s the hot tag to Piper who no sells everything Flair throws at him. Everything breaks down and Flair is sent to the floor. That’s important because the referee disqualifies EVERYONE in the ring, but Flair was outside and is the sole survivor.

Rating: B. Gah this was going AWESOME until the pretty lame ending. Having Flair be the sole survivor is a smart move though as it makes the fans hate him even more. This was a GREAT setup though and was on pace to be a classic before the ending. To be fair though, at the pace they were going the match would have been an hour long if they were going to do a full version. Still though, what we got was very good.

Gene is on the platform and brings out Savage to talk about Jake, because we can’t have the match on this show so let’s talk about it instead. Savage talks about being bitten by the snake and being able to see and hear Liz crying, which is the worst thing Jake could do. He promises to be all over Jake like melted butter. Oh man stuff just got REAL. Liz comes out which is a big deal apparently. As usual, she has nothing to say.

Gorilla thinks Tuesday in Texas may be on TV! Give me a break.

Team Mustafa vs. Team Slaughter

Colonel Mustafa, Berzerker, Skinner, Hercules

Sgt. Slaughter, Tito Santana, Jim Duggan, Texas Tornado

A lot of these guys are on their way out. Hercules would be in WCW by May, Tornado would job to the stars until leaving in July as would Mustafa (Iron Sheik), and the rest of the guys would do nothing of note for the rest of their time in the company. Kerry (Tornado) looks high as a kite and almost falls off the apron getting into the ring. This is pretty recently after Slaughter’s face turn as he was a heel at Summerslam. This isn’t exactly the most talent laden match ever and the only feud is Slaughter vs. Mustafa.

Tito and Skinner start with Santana taking over with a headlock. There’s the flying forearm out of nowhere and Skinner hits the floor without a cover. Off to Berzerker vs. Tornado which would work a lot better down in Dallas. Berzerker (a crazy viking who tried to stab Undertaker with a sword) misses a dropkick and it’s off to Mustafa. After some very brief offense, Kerry tumbles to his corner and brings in Duggan to face Hercules, which was in the first ever match at Survivor Series.

Duggan gets taken down by double and triple teaming and it’s off to Mustafa. He loads up his curled boots (it’s a Sheik thing) and does nothing with them. Thanks for wasting our time with that. Duggan pounds away and backdrops Mustafa down before the hot tag to Slaughter. The big showdown is an atomic drop and a clothesline to Mustafa for the elimination.

Berzerker comes in with some clotheslines and a kick to the fat gut of Slaughter. A boot to Slaughter’s face puts him down and it’s off to Hercules for some two counts. Back to the viking who gets crotched on the top rope and kicked in the legs. Off to Duggan who clotheslines Berzerker to the floor and backdrops him back there a few seconds later. Tornado comes in and pounds away on him before it’s off to Hercules again. Tito gets a blind tag and hits a forearm to the back of the head (El Paso Del Muerte) for the pin and the elimination.

Skinner, the guy that owned now former developmental program FCW, comes in as it’s 4-2. When you have Skinner and Berzerker as your only guys left, the team is in big trouble. A blind tag brings in Slaughter who rolls up Skinner for the elimination. Slaughter whips Berzerker into Duggan’s clothesline for the elimination and the win.

Rating: F. The match sucked, it was never in doubt, and the biggest deal on the heel team was Skinner, who would get an IC Title shot soon after this. What a horrible match and one of the most worthless ones in the history of the show so far, which is covering quite a bit of ground. Nothing to see here at all.

Here’s Jake to plug Tuesday in Texas some more. To be fair, Trust Me Jake was AWESOME. Jake swears he didn’t know that the snake had venom in it still but making Liz cry excited him. God has told Jake that God doesn’t like Okerlund, so let’s blame everyone but Jake. I said he was awesome, not that he made sense. No reptiles are allowed at the match between Savage and Roberts. He wants to kiss Liz and that’s about it.

We recap Hogan vs. Taker. Flair confronted Hogan in Taker’s Funeral Parlor and went off on him about hearing about Hogan for years. Now Flair is here and wants to know what Hogan is going to do about it. Hogan pulled off the shirt and Taker came out of a standing casket behind Hulk and hit him with the urn. Piper and Savage ran out of the broadcast booth with chairs but Taker literally swatted away Savage’s swing. Taker rips Hogan’s cross off ala Andre in 87 and leaves.

WWF World Title: Undertaker vs. Hulk Hogan

Taker is “undefeated” here, which means overseas tours and house shows don’t count because Tito beat him in Spain and Warrior beat him on a bunch of house shows. Feeling out process to start with no one being able to get a real advantage. Taker shoulders Hogan and Hulk regroups a bit while Taker reaches to the urn. Back in and Taker chokes away in the corner in a shot you see in a lot of Taker video packages.

Bearer chokes Hogan a bit and Taker slams him. A big elbow misses and the place pops loudly. Hulk pounds away but he can’t put Taker down. A slam doesn’t work nor does an elbow to the head. Hogan clotheslines Taker to the floor where the dead man lands on his feet and pulls Hogan outside. Back in and Taker chokes away some more as does Bearer. Taker starts smothering him as you can see the Hogan super fan, a guy who dressed up like Hulk (including yellow trunks) sitting in the front row and freaking out.

This hold goes on for a good while, which is just Taker having his hand on Hogan’s face and doing nothing else. By long I mean like two and a half minuets. When the whole match is only thirteen minutes, that’s a long stretch. Hogan comes back with some shoulder blocks that don’t do much, only to have Taker clothesline him down again. There’s the Tombstone but Hogan is up before a cover. He pounds away on Taker and knocks him down to one knee which is a new thing for Taker.

Hogan gets a good slam as Flair is on his way to the ring. I miss that black and white robe. That thing was spiffy. Hogan takes out Flair with a right hand and big boots Taker, only to have Bearer grab his leg. Taker loads up the Tombstone as Flair slides in a chair. The piledriver on the chair gives us a new world champion and a decisive face pop for the dead man. Taker holding the title like it’s a coupon for a free coffee at a Shell station is a nice touch.

Rating: D. Yeah this match completely sucked but we have a new champion and a reason to watch Flair vs. Hogan, which never happened for various reason. Hogan would beat Taker for the title at Tuesday in Texas six days later, but the title would be held up and decided in the Rumble, where Flair would win it and set up Wrestlemania. Bad match, but a BIG moment.

People come out to check on Hogan as Gorilla rips into Flair. Hogan takes awhile to leave, likely to let the fans get over some of their shock.

Roddy is in the back and goes on a big rant against Tunney and Flair and Taker.

Flair and Perfect say they told us this would happen and now they’ve been proven right. Flair is the REAL World Champion now. Tunney needs to stop distorting the belt.

Intermission, which means we see a graphic for fifteen minutes.

Gene recaps what’s happened so far in case someone ordered the PPV halfway through for some reason.

The Natural Disasters and IRS are ready for the LOD and Boss Man. That’s the main event people. They’re not even hiding the screwing over of the fans anymore.

LOD and the Boss Man are ready too. Seriously there’s nothing else to say here. They say exactly what you would expect them to say and nothing else. Hawk gets ready to do the WHAT A RUSH line but as he loads it up, Sean interrupts him to say Gene is with Jack Tunney. Hawk gives him a look that would stop a tank and says his catchphrase, then lets Sean throw it to Gene.

Tunney announces Hogan vs. Taker II at Tuesday in Texas. He’ll be at ringside as well, which makes the boredom levels shoot through the roof, if that’s even possible.

Team Nasty Boys vs. Team Rockers

Nasty Boys, Beverly Brothers

Rockers, Bushwhackers

This is right before the Rockers split and they’re already having issues. This is regular rules, which means individual eliminations and not one loss means both team members are gone. Butch and Knobbs get things going as Gorilla and Bobby talk about Hogan vs. Taker II. Butch hits a running knee lift and it’s off to Luke. The Whackers take over on the Nasties with a pair of double clotheslines.

The Beverly Brothers come in and do about as well as the Nasties with both Brothers taking a Battering Ram. The Rockers double dropkick the Nasties and the good guys have cleared the ring. It’s Shawn vs. Beau (the other is Blake) now as the announcers debate which guy on either team is the brains. A backbreaker puts Shawn down and it’s back to Knobbs. Luke comes in and avoids a splash in the corner but whacks his arms too much, allowing Knobbs to hit a middle rope clothesline for the elimination.

Off to Shawn vs. Sags with Jerry suplexing him down. Gorilla talks about how tonight will culminate at Tuesday in Texas. Again, screw you fans who bought this, as you just got part one. Some idiot fan stands up and poses for the camera so the shots keep cutting away a lot. The Rockers work on Sags’ arm before it’s off to Blake. Gorilla somehow can’t tell the Rockers apart, even though they pretty much look nothing alike.

A superkick puts Blake down but Beverly comes back with knees in the corner. Marty comes off the middle rope and shoves the referee for no apparent reason. It doesn’t go anywhere so I guess it was a mistake. Must be Colombian coke for Marty tonight. Off to Beau who doesn’t do much other than allow a tag to Butch who cleans house. The Beverlies double team him with a backdrop into a facejam for the pin and the elimination.

It’s Nasties/Beverlies vs. Rockers now with Marty coming in again. Marty monkey flips and ranas Beau down for two as Heenan and Gorilla trade statements of excitement. An enziguri puts Beau down again and it’s off to an armbar. It’s also off to Shawn who doesn’t do as well as you would expect against one of the Beverly Brothers. Off to Blake who jumps over Beau and lands on Shawn’s back in a move that the World’s Greatest Tag Team made famous.

Out of nowhere Shawn grabs a backslide on Beau for the pin to make it 3-1. Sags is in next as Gorilla thinks Marty should reach further for a tag. Even though the Rockers would split less than a month later, it wasn’t clear yet who would have gotten the super push. The Nasties head to the floor and Shawn clotheslines Sags off the apron and superkicks Knobbs down. Back in and Sags takes over again. Marty’s eyes are just gone and he looks awful.

Blake comes in again and gets kicked in the face, allowing for a falling tag to Marty. A big jumping back elbow takes Knobbs down and a snapmare gets two. Knobbs takes Jannetty down again and Heenan talks about Tuesday in Texas. Off to Sags with a powerslam and a belly to back suplex before it’s back to Knobbs. Marty gets his knees up to stop a middle rope splash and there’s the tag to Shawn. Everything breaks down and Marty swings Sags’ feet into Shawn’s face, resulting in Knobbs rolling Michaels up for the pin.

That leaves us with Marty vs. Blake and the Nasties which I don’t see going well for the coke head. Shawn freaks out on him before he leaves too to even further tease the tension. Marty starts with Knobbs and hits a middle rope bulldog but Jerry takes him down almost immediately and knocks him to the floor. A powerslam from Blake puts Marty down and the Nasties head to the floor. Jannetty dives on both of them and slams Blake’s face into the mat. Marty hooks a terrible looking small package on Sags but Knobbs rolls them over to give Jerry the final eliminating pin.

Rating: D. Man alive this was a long match. That’s the problem the rest of this show has created: there’s nothing else worth watching for the rest of the night and now they’re just filling in time to say that you’re getting a PPV that means something, when really you need to see the sequel to get the full thing. But hey, who cares about treating the fans right when you can get their money?

Gorilla and Bobby plug Tuesday in Texas again.

Legion of Doom/Big Boss Man vs. IRS/Natural Disasters

This is your main event people. Let that sink in for a minute. The LOD are the tag champions and IRS and Boss Man are having a worthless midcard feud. Boss Man and IRS start things off with the tax dude (if you need help figuring out who that is you’re beyond my help) getting thrown all over the place. Off to Animal vs. Earthquake which fires the crowd up a bit.

They collide and Animal’s cross body is caught in a backbreaker in an impressive display of strength from Quake. Back to IRS to face Hawk with the latter working on the arm. Typhoon gets the tag, only to have IRS thrown at him by Hawk. Off to Earthquake who carries Hawk to the heel corner. IRS and Boss Man come in again and it’s a briefcase shot to Boss Man’s head for the elimination.

It’s Typhoon vs. Animal now and the Disasters double team Animal in the corner. Quake suplexes him down as Monsoon talks about Bobo Brazil. IRS hits a top rope right hand for two and Typhoon puts on a bearhug. Animal escapes and hits a clothesline before tagging in Hawk. IRS misses a briefcase shot to the head and hits Typhoon by mistake, giving Hawk the easy pin.

Quake wants to fight IRS now but walks off with Typhoon instead, making it the LOD vs. IRS. Hawk powerslams IRS down but a charge goes shoulder first into the post. Hawk gets sent face first into the steps as we continue to fill time by having IRS look like he has a chance. We hit the chinlock as the announcers talk about Thanksgiving dinner. Not hot tag brings in Animal who cleans whatever is left in the house. IRS tries to walk out but runs into Boss Man in the aisle. Hawk hits a top rope clothesline for the win.

Rating: D+. We go from Hogan vs. Andre II to this in five years? That should give you a good idea as to what you’ve got going on with this show. The match was nothing and there was no reason to get excited about it, because the whole reason the match was happening had been postponed to Tuesday. In Texas.

Hogan won’t talk to the cameras about what happened.

Gene is in the bowels of the building with Bearer and Taker. Hogan will rest in peace. In Texas. They look in a casket to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. Let’s take a look at what we had on this show: a really good opener, a horrible second match, a bad yet historic third match, a bad fourth match, and a worthless fifth match. This is all interspersed with a bunch of commercials for Tuesday in Texas, which is possibly the biggest bait and switch in company history. This show made me mad because it’s a big flip off to the fans, and that’s not acceptable. Watch the opener and that’s about it.

Ratings Comparison

Team Flair vs. Team Piper

Original: A-

Redo: B

Team Slaughter vs. Team Mustafa

Original: F

Redo: F

Undertaker vs. Hulk Hogan

Original: C-

Redo: D

Team Nasty Boys vs. Team Rockers

Original: D

Redo: D

Legion of Doom/Big Boss Man vs. IRS/Natural Disasters

Original: D

Redo: D+

Overall Rating:

Original: D+

Redo: D-

A little worse this time, but the same problems still plague this show. Screw you Vince.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

Velocity
Date: June 8, 2002
Location: Cox Convention Center, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Attendance: 6,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Al Snow

This popped up on the Vault and while it’s billed as the Full Episode, it would appear that something has been taken out. That doesn’t leave much, but it’s a rather different era from the company and a rather forgotten one at that, so it’s definitely worth a look. This is only the third episode of the series so let’s get to it.

Opening sequence. My that’s a lot of green.

Test vs. Randy Orton

Orton has only been around for about a month and a half here. Test jumps him from behind to start and hammers away in the corner as we get the opening bell. Orton is back up with a dropkick to the back but Test gives him a running clothesline in the corner. Test does it again but Orton manages a quick DDT. A high crossbody gets two, only for Test to grab the pumphandle slam for two. Orton’s Overdrive gets the same but Test is back with a Roll of the Dice (I believe he called it the Test Drive) for the pin at 3:57.

Rating: C+. This actually turned into a decent match, with Test being on a roll at the moment and picking up another win. Orton was still just the big prospect and had a very long way to go, but you could see the potential in there. It would take time for him to put it together, but the way commentary was hyping him up made his future pretty clear.

We look back at Ivory getting annoyed at Tough Enough winners Linda Miles and Jackie Gayda introducing themselves to Vince McMahon. Vince put them in a match on Velocity, marking the only time that he would ever mention the show.

Godfather vs. Hugh Morrus

Godfather does not look happy to be out here and jumps Morrus in the corner to start. Morrus shrugs that off and hammers away, only to get shoved HARD out of the corner in a great visual. A running clothesline gives Godfather two and Morrus’ powerslam gets the same. Godfather goes to get the bell, which distracts the referee (one Teddy Long) enough for Godfather to hit Morrus with his cane for the win at 3:18.

Rating: C-. I’m not sure what the point is in having a heel Godfather, as the whole point was him being the fun, energetic opening match star. Instead he just looks like he’s doing something of an Undertaker knockoff and that makes for a less than thrilling match. Then again he’s in there with Morrus so it’s only going to be so good in the first place.

We look at Edge having a heck of a cage match with Kurt Angle but injuring his shoulder in the process. That puts him out of the King Of The Ring and Chris Jericho comes in to mock him, demanding that Edge raise his hand for winning their match via forfeit. Instead Edge tried to fight and got beaten up even worse. Jericho crushed his bad shoulder on the steps with a chair until the Big Valbowski made the save…and the show just ends abruptly mid brawl. This is billed as the “full show” but there is quite a bit missing. Anyway, Valbowski throws Jericho out and stands tall.

Chavo Guerrero vs. Funaki

Funaki kicks away to start but makes the mistake of turning his back on Guerrero. That earns a ram into the corner and a dropkick to the back. Funaki’s comeback is quickly cut off but he sends Guerrero outside for a slingshot dive. Back in and an enziguri gives Funaki two but Guerrero backbreakers him for the same. The brainbuster finishes for Guerrero at 4:35.

Rating: C+. As usual, you can take two talented wrestlers and let them do their thing. It’s not like this match was ever going to be anything more than two guys doing moves for a few minutes. Funaki could work well with anyone and the same was true of Guerrero, who just happened to be a much bigger star.

Jackie Gayda gives Linda Miles a pep talk before the match with Ivory. Gayda would love to be in her corner, which works for Miles.

We look at HHH and Hulk Hogan winning a battle royal to become the new #1 contender to the World Title. HHH beat Hogan later in the night to get the title shot. They posed after the match and got beaten up by Undertaker (the reigning champion) and Kurt Angle (who is certainly NOT bald).

We look at Linda and Jackie winning Tough Enough.

Linda Miles vs. Ivory

Jackie Gayda is here with Miles. Ivory grabs a headlock takeover to start fast so Miles reverses into a headscissors. Back up and a running shoulder puts Ivory down but she sends Miles throat first into the bottom rope. Miles fires off some clotheslines and a suplex before going up…where Gayda shoves her down. A facebuster gives Ivory the pin at 3:54.

Rating: D+. I remember watching this show as it aired and Gayda turning on Miles was obvious the second she asked to be in Miles’ corner. They were barely trying to hide it and that doesn’t make for a good moment here. Throw in that Miles was still a rookie and would never get much better and there was hardly much to see here.

Overall Rating: C. This was only the third episode of the show so WWE still cared about it for the time being, which was apparent here. This had some big enough names involved and a turn at the end, though there is only so much you can get out of a show like this one. That being said, it’s almost a breath of fresh air just to see something out of the blue like this. I have no idea why it was cut off, but the other half is easily available to find elsewhere.

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