Monday Night Raw
Date: September 30, 2019
Location: Talking Stick Resort Arena, Phoenix, Arizon
Commentators: Vic Joseph, Dio Maddin, Jerry Lawler

It’s time to start the biggest week in a very long time with the season premiere of Monday Night Raw. This show is completely stacked with the Universal Title on the line, Brock Lesnar making an appearance, the Tag Team Titles on the line and probably a lot more. We’re going to be in for a big night so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The music over the Then Now Forever music is different.

Opening sequence. I don’t remember the last time I saw one of these for Raw.

Pyro is back as well.

We open with a shot of the announcers and the new set, which looks like it curves up from the stage to the screen. It’s uh….big.

Here’s Rey Mysterio for a chat. He dedicates tonight’s title match to his son Dominick, in the front row. Before that can go anywhere though, here are Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman to interrupt. Heyman takes the mic but Rey takes it right back, earning himself a pair of F5’s. Brock isn’t done as he pulls Dominick over the barricade and drives him into the post.

Dominick gets a German suplex and Rey takes another F5 as Heyman looks terrified. Brock throws them both again, plus Fit Finlay (what a fight that would have been back in the day) and one more beating to Rey and Dominick each. Heyman is begging Brock to stop and even Brock looks like he knows he made a mistake.

During the break, Dominick was taken to the hospital as Rey cried a lot.

Sasha Banks vs. Alexa Bliss

Hang on though as here’s Becky Lynch to join commentary. Bliss gets knocked to the floor to start and it’s already time for the trash talk from the ring. Becky gets on the table and yells back as we go split screen for a Gears of War ad. Back in a hurry with Becky still standing and taping her fists. An ambulance siren goes off in the arena, which I would assume would be Dominick’s ambulance leaving. Bliss slaps away but a DDT is broken up, leaving Banks to beg off. She calls for Bayley (not here) and the distraction lets her kick Bliss in the leg and grab a rollup for the pin at 4:25.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here other than a nice hope of having the stories bleed between segments for a change. The ambulance leaving gives me some hope, as there is no logical reason to have everything come to a halt because another match starts up. The ending was a little odd as it seemed to focus more on the Tag Team Title stuff than the Raw Women’s Title on Sunday.

Post match Becky comes in for the fight but Banks bails into the crowd, where a fan has the most bugged out eyes.

The Rock is confirmed for Smackdown.

We look back at last week’s Firefly Fun House and Bray Wyatt attacking Braun Strowman, plus scaring Seth Rollins.

Rollins is disgusted by what Brock did, but he’s also not sure what to expect from the Fiend on Sunday. He isn’t going away quietly though and he’ll survive and prevail. As for tonight, Rey may not be able to get his title shot but there is one waiting on him when he gets back. The fans were promised a title match tonight though and that’s what they’re getting. Someone needs to stand up.

Tag Team Titles: Heavy Machinery vs. Dolph Ziggler/Robert Roode

Roode and Ziggler are defending. Tucker runs Ziggler over to start and even busts out a dropkick for two. It’s off to Otis, with Tucker lifting Ziggler up for a suplex and handing him off to Otis in the air. The champs are in trouble as we take a break. Back with Ziggler neckbreakering Tucker for two and putting on the chinlock.

The comeback doesn’t last long as Roode grabs the spinebuster and hands it back to Ziggler. Tucker catapults Ziggler into the post though and the hot tag brings in Otis for some jiggling. The Caterpillar looks to set up the Compactor but Ziggler makes the save with the Zig Zag. Otis gets sent into the post and it’s the Glorious DDT to Tucker to retain the titles at 11:10.

Rating: C-. Roode and Ziggler are the most run of the mill heel champions and I have a bad feeling that they are going to be champions for a long time. The tag division is deep enough to give them some good challengers but this is what we’re stuck with due to reasons of Ziggler.

It’s time for MizTV with Miz offering condolences to Rey and his family. He can’t imagine what it would be like to have something like that happen to his child. As for tonight, he has two legends for his guests. That would be Hulk Hogan (with Jimmy Hart) and Ric Flair, with Ric not seemingly happy with Hogan. Ric complains about hearing Real American for thirty years. Hogan: “WOO!” Miz: “We’ve been hearing those even longer!”

Hogan brings out his captain in the form of Seth Rollins, but Flair has his own captain in Randy Orton. Randy wants Seth’s undivided attention so can he please crawl out of Hogan’s a** for a second. Randy to Flair: “Can I get a WOO?” They’ll be picking their teams together over the next few weeks but for now, let’s have a captain’s match. Flair was all over the place here and seemed a bit out of it, or at least rambling with some off the cuff comments.

Seth Rollins vs. Randy Orton

I think this is non-title….and here’s King Corbin to interrupt. The bell never rings as Corbin and Orton double team Seth, including a scepter shot. Rusev of all people saves and I smell a tag match. Actually we don’t as Rusev clears the ring and we seem to have a second member for each team.

We see Dominick leaving in the ambulance earlier and Rey goes with him. There WILL be a Universal Title match tonight.

Rusev is asked about Lana but won’t talk about his problems at home. As for tonight, he helped Rollins so Rollins can help him. He wants the title shot tonight.

AOP talks about bringing for the violence and pain.

Viking Raiders vs. OC

It’s a brawl to start with Ivar getting taken into the OC corner for the beating from Gallows. A kick to the face and an elbow get two and a rake to Ivar’s face makes it even worse. Ivar fights up and shoves Gallows away for the tag to Erik so house can be cleaned. Back with a belly to back neckbreaker dropping Erick and the chinlock going on.

That’s broken up in short order and it’s back to Ivar for the big comeback. The German suplex/springboard clothesline gets two on Anderson with Gallows making a fast save. Everything breaks down as Lawler talks about Gallows being ugly. Ivar’s suicide dive takes out Anderson and it’s a powerbomb into a frog splash from Ivar for the pin at 10:28.

Rating: C. Perfectly nice hard hitting match here as the Raiders continue their roll. There is no reason to keep them away from the titles much longer and I think WWE is starting to get the idea. They have now beaten the OC twice in a row so the title scene almost has to be coming up soon enough.

Charly Caruso updates us about Rey and Dominick, who won’t be back tonight. A lot of people are calling what Brock did criminal, but here’s Cesaro to say he’s just upset that he didn’t get to beat up Dominick. Ricochet comes in to call him out for his actions and a match is made.

Cesaro vs. Ricochet

Ricochet starts fast but his headscissors is countered without much effort. A crossbody is as well but Ricochet slips out of a powerslam and monkey flips Cesaro over the top. The big flip dive connects but Cesaro uppercuts him down back inside. The Neuralizer is blocked and Cesaro goes shoulder first into the post. A springboard flip hurricanrana is enough to give Ricochet the pin at 2:24.

It’s time for the Firefly Fun House. All of Bray’s friends are scared of something with Ramblin Rabbit actually being scared to death. Bray comes in and throws Rabbit away as everyone else talks about being scared of what happens when Seth fights the Fiend in the Cell. Even Bray is a little scared because the Cell is like a world without chocolate. Seth is going to be trapped in there with HIM, but don’t worry because HE will always protect the Fun House. He will come back no matter what, but Rollins might not be so fortunate. Bray is going to try and find Him so he can be nice to Rollins. Maniacal laughter ensues.

US Title: AJ Styles vs. Cedric Alexander

AJ is defending and goes right after him to start. A knee to the face puts AJ on the floor but he breaks up a suicide dive with a forearm to the face. Cedric avoids a charge to send AJ shoulder first into the post but a TKO over the top rope puts Alexander on the floor again. That means the slingshot forearm and we take a break. Back with Cedric getting two off of the springboard Downward Spiral.

A spinning elbow to the head looks to set up the Lumbar Check but AJ reverses into the reverse DDT for two more. Cedric nails the Michinoku Driver for another near fall but the Neuralizer is countered into a German suplex. A faceplant gives AJ his own two so Cedric is right back with another Lumbar Check attempt. This time it’s countered into the Styles Clash to retain the title at 9:45.

Rating: C-. They were botchier than usual here with some of the stuff not looking that crisp. I’m not sure what is next for either of them now, but Alexander would seem more likely to be in trouble. You can throw anyone at AJ because of the title, but what exactly is there for Cedric to do at the moment?

The Street Profits hype up their Tag Team Title shot on this week’s NXT, where they are coming for their belts. They talk about the Cell a bit with Ford freaking out over a mention of the Fiend’s name. See, if you mention his name three times, he appears. An old janitor told Ford about it, though Dawkins is more confused about Ford talking to a janitor.

Pay per view rundown….with no new matches announced. We’re less than six days away. A fourth match isn’t that much to ask for.

Natalya vs. Lacey Evans

Round three. Natalya slams her down to start and hits the basement dropkick but Lacey kicks the leg out. A head first swing into the steps has Natalya rocked and a swinging neckbreaker plants her again. The moonsault is broken up though as Natalya pulls her down by the leg and slaps away. The Sharpshooter doesn’t work for Natalya as Lacey kicks away and pokes her in the eye, setting up a rollup with tights for the pin at 4:00.

Rating: D+. And they’re done now. There wasn’t a need for a second of these matches and there is no need for a fourth. Lacey didn’t even win with the Sharpshooter to make things personal so I’m not sure what the point was in extending the feud. It’s good for Lacey to get a win, but it’s not like this was anything good in the first place.

Post match Lacey lays her out with the Woman’s Right.

John Cena is raising money for a veteran’s charity and until Veteran’s Day, he will match all donations up to $1 million.

We look at Lesnar destroying Rey and Dominick earlier.

Heyman says what Lesnar did was reckless and he apologizes to the Mysterio family. It’s really Vince McMahon’s fault though because he scheduled Brock for this show. There are a lot of wannabe tough guys in every sport and no one can do a thing about what Brock did tonight or what he’ll do on Friday. If you want to see history, watch on Friday when Lesnar becomes the new WWE Champion.

Maria Kanellis says Rusev isn’t the father of her baby because she has enough going on. She leaves and Sasha Banks comes in to say she can’t wait to make Becky suffer. Banks is one of two women to be in the Cell and no Man is winning her match.

A white limo arrives.

Raw World Title: Rusev vs. Seth Rollins

Rusev is challenging and gets a jobber entrance as Orton and Corbin are watching from the stage. Rollins tries to start fast but has to bail from the Accolade. The fall away slam starts working on the back as we take a break (with the Fiend appearing to say Let Me In). Back with Rollins fighting out of the bearhug and sending Rusev to the floor for the suicide dives. Rusev rolls through a high crossbody but Rollins rolls through his roll through for two.

Rusev kicks him in the head and gets two off a swinging release Rock Bottom. Rollins is back up with the Falcon Arrow for two but the Stomp misses. The springboard knee hits part of a superkick…..and here’s Bobby Lashley. He waves someone out though and here is…..Lana, as Rusev is crushed. Kissing ensues with Lana almost crawling on top of Lashley as Rusev just glares. There go the lights and the Fiend Mandible Claws Rollins in a no contest at 11:30.

Rating: D+. This was just a backdrop for the double angles and I’d rather they do that here than wasting what could have been a big match with Mysterio. Rusev not losing is a great sign and he has a feud set up instantly. I’m curious about the story behind the whole thing so at least they have something going on already.

Laughter ends the show.

Overall Rating: C+. It was a VERY story heavy show this week, which is what it should have been. That’s a good sign as, again, the wrestling isn’t the point of a show like this. They did enough stuff to make me want to see where a lot of it is going, though Sunday is sacrificed for another night. I’m sure they’ll announce some matches during the week, but it’s not like this Sunday feels like anything important in the slightest. Tonight was good overall though and I want to see where things are going.

Results

Sasha Banks b. Alexa Bliss – Rollup

Robert Roode/Dolph Ziggler b. Heavy Machinery – Glorious DDT to Tucker

Viking Raiders b. OC – Frog splash to Gallows

Ricochet b. Cesaro – Springboard flip hurricanrana

AJ Styles b. Cedric Alexander – Styles Clash

Lacey Evans b. Natalya – Rollup with a handful of tights

Seth Rollins vs. Rusev went to a no contest when the Fiend interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Backlash 2005
Date: May 1, 2005
Location: Verizon Wireless Arena, Manchester, New Hampshire
Attendance: 14,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the follow up to Wrestlemania and that means we’re in for a rematch for the Raw World Title with HHH challenging Batista for the title. Other than that, we have the ultimate teaming of Shawn Michaels/Hulk Hogan vs. Muhammad Hassan/Daivari because we need a way to get to what is likely going to be Shawn vs. Hogan at a big show. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is a history of Hulk Hogan’s career, complete with fans shouting ONE MORE MATCH. Then Shawn needed his help and it’s time for the big tag match. The World Title gets some attention as well and thankfully it comes off as a double main event rather than one big match and the World Title as a secondary option. HHH thinks he can win if he hits the Pedigree, which is some mix of insightful and obvious.

Intercontinental Title: Chris Jericho vs. Shelton Benjamin

Benjamin is defending in a long form rematch after he took the title from Jericho in October. Shelton wastes no time in armdragging him into an armbar and a second one annoys Jericho even more. Back up and Jericho slaps him in the face, earning himself some right hands to the jaw. A suplex attempt puts Jericho on the apron so Shelton tries a sunset bomb, which is countered into a hurricanrana to the floor in a nice sequence.

They head back inside for the chinlock but Shelton breaks out in just a few seconds. The Stinger Splash to the back in the corner sets up a belly to back to give Shelton a breather but it’s Jericho back up first. The Lionsault misses so Jericho goes up top, only to have Shelton jump to the top for a superplex, because of course he can do something like that. Both guys get back up before a double clothesline puts them right back down.

It’s Jericho up first with a forearm and shoulder, followed by the running enziguri for two. Jericho tries to throw him over the top but Shelton springboards back in with a bulldog for his own two. A quick Walls attempt is blocked so Jericho catapults him into the corner, with Shelton landing on the middle rope.

The exploder gets two as Jericho has to get his foot on the rope and Shelton isn’t sure what to do. Shelton goes for another exploder but gets pulled into the Walls, meaning it’s his turn to grab the rope. The Lionsault almost hits raised knees but Jericho lands on his feet and tries the Walls, only to get cradled for the pin to retain Shelton’s title.

Rating: B. This was as good as you would have expected it to be with Jericho doing everything that he could do and helping make Shelton look like a star. At the same time, Shelton is on fire right now and showing off the freaky athleticism that made him one of the hottest things in wrestling. Very good opener here and it wouldn’t shock me if this was the best thing on the show.

Post match Jericho is frustrated and has nothing to say. Granted that might be because it was Todd Grisham asking.

Edge is ready to beat Chris Benoit tonight, just like he did in Money in the Bank. Tonight, he’ll be the Last Man Standing.

Tag Team Titles: Tag Team Turmoil

William Regal and Tajiri are defending in a bonus match. There are five teams and it’s the Heart Throbs in first and Regal and Tajiri in second. Romeo shoulders Regal down to start and it’s a cartwheel to frustrate him even more. Antonio comes in to work on the arm but you don’t do that to a British wrestler, as Regal flips out and brings in Tajiri for the kicks.

Tajiri grabs a double underhook and rolls Romeo around a bit before getting two off a butterfly suplex. Antonio comes back in but runs into a sunset flip out of the corner for the first elimination. Maven and Simon Dean are in third and the fight is on in a hurry with Simon dropping a leg on Tajiri (after some exercising of course). It’s off to Maven for some forearms, followed by the generic cheating in the corner. Simon grabs a front facelock as we talk about JR in a Speedo.

Thankfully we move on to anything else as Tajiri gets up and hits a spinwheel kick, allowing the hot tag off to Regal. Everything breaks down and the knee trembler finishes Simon. La Resistance is in fourth and JR has to try and figure out the USA chant given that the only American in the match is Rob Conway.

We settle down to Tajiri spinwheel kicking Grenier and Regal coming back in for some forearms. It’s already back to Tajiri, who looks winded less than eight minutes into a tag match. Regal comes back in for some knees as Lawler praises his stamina. Well to be fair we’re almost at nine minutes now. Everything breaks down and Tajiri can’t get the Tarantula, allowing Conway to roll Regal up and grab the trunks for the pin.

Hurricane and Rosey come in fifth and it’s a title match against La Resistance. Hurricane wastes no time in hitting a high crossbody for two on Grenier, followed by the Blockbuster for the same. A toss over the top rope gives us a nasty crash with Hurricane’s leg hitting the top of the post, though thankfully he’s fine enough to come right back in. The chinlock goes on for a few seconds but Grenier misses a middle rope elbow (which didn’t look good).

Rosey comes in to a rather nice reaction and it’s time to clean house again. A World’s Strongest Slam gets two but La Resistance is back up for a double spinebuster. Rosey shrugs that off and sends them together before climbing to the bottom rope. Hurricane climbs onto his shoulders and nails a huge splash for the pin and the titles.

Rating: D-. I’ve never been a fan of this kind of match as the longest fall was the final, which barely broke four minutes. There were four falls in just over thirteen minutes and Hurricane/Rosey win the titles after beating a cheating team who had already wrestled a fall. This is the best they can do for a Tag Team Title match? The division has never been a focal point but egads this is one of the low points.

We recap Edge vs. Chris Benoit. Edge damaged Benoit’s arm rather badly during Money in the Bank and Benoit hasn’t been happy since. They’ve had some rather hard hitting fights and now it’s Last Man Standing. It’s always cool to see them get a story out of a big cluster of a match, which is one of the major perks of such a match.

Edge vs. Chris Benoit

Last Man Standing. The fight is on at the bell (makes sense) and so are the YOU SCREWED MATT chants. Benoit chops him down in the corner but gets whipped chest first into the other corner so Edge can choke to his heart’s content. The spear is countered with a drop toehold onto the mat as Benoit might have thought Edge was a little closer to the corner. Edge kicks him in the face and they fight to the floor with Edge going for some trashcans.

That doesn’t work just yet and it’s time to head into the crowd for a lot more punching. Back in and Benoit grabs the Sharpshooter, which makes a lot of sense here. With that not working, Benoit rolls some German suplexes and a shaken up Edge bails for a bit. A running forearm knocks Edge off the apron to start the count again. The fans want tables but settle for Benoit’s dive through the ropes hitting a raised trashcan lid for a nasty crash.

Thankfully the fans seem appreciative as Edge pauses for a breather while Benoit remembers what planet he’s on. That’s good for an eight so they head back inside with Edge superplexing him onto a trashcan. Benoit is (mostly) up at nine so it’s time for Edge to destroy him with the trashcan lid. And now, just because of who is in here (and how Edge first hurt Benoit’s arm), we get a ladder set up in the corner.

Edge goes up and gets German suplexed right back off of said ladder for the big double knockdown. With Edge down, Benoit climbs the ladder but misses the Swan Dive to knock himself out again. Edge can’t follow up so Benoit grabs the Crossface to make him tap a second time.

More rolling German suplexes have Edge rocked but he manages to block one more and hit the Edgecution onto the Money in the Bank briefcase. That doesn’t work either so Edge spears him down, only for nine. Edge can’t believe it so he hits another spear for another nine. With that not working, Edge goes to the briefcase and pulls out a brick (ala Money Inc. at Wrestlemania IX) to knock Benoit cold for the win.

Rating: B. These guys beat the heck out of each other and Edge having the big weapon just in case he needed it was a good ending. Edge is someone who is going to have a last backup plan and that’s what he did here. Benoit tried to come in on his own and came close, whereas Edge was ready to do whatever it took to win. It’s a good way way to show the difference between the two and how much smarter Edge can be, which makes sense in this match.

Benoit has to be helped up and gets a strong ovation. Ignore the large section of empty seats on the shot of the cheering crowd.

In the back, Lita looks on approvingly in a subtle nod to real life. Kane comes in and Lita is ready to see him take out Trish Stratus and Viscera. Actually Lita thinks it would be funny to see Trish have to sleep with Viscera. Lita: “Can you imagine him naked?” She goes into detail of the whole act between the two and Kane dubs it disturbing. Kissing ensues.

And now, on a pay per view, Jerry Lawler gets to bring out some of the Divas to talk about the new Diva Swimsuit Issue. We see each of their favorite photos from the magazine and now it’s time for some questions. Before we can get to those, it’s Chris Masters interrupting and I’m not sure which is the better choice.

It’s time for a $3000 Masterlock Challenge as Lawler is back on commentary to complain about Masters interrupting his questions. Masters picks a muscular woman, which seems to surprise him as he thought it was a man. I guess he thought it was a man who REALLY liked chest day. Her name is Melissa Coates, who has wrestled in the indies for years. Masters puts her in the Masterlock and knocks her out in a hurry. This was a horrible waste of pay per view time, which you have to expect on a six match card.

Viscera is waiting outside Trish’s locker room so they can get to the ring and get it on like a steaming pot of neckbone. Trish: “Neckbone?” Viscera: “It’s a black thing. You’ll get used to it.” He has lingerie for her and a room booked for them, at a bed and breakfast for two of his favorite things. Trish says he still has to beat Kane.

Kane vs. Viscera

Lita and Trish are here too. Kane bounces off of him to start and gets dropped with a single clothesline. A missed charge in the corner lets Kane hit a running splash from behind as JR makes it clear that this won’t go long. Viscera gets sent outside for a top rope clothesline as the fans want Matt. Back in and some elbows keep Viscera in trouble as Lawler makes jokes about Viscera rising to the occasion later.

Viscera gets in a knee to the ribs, setting up the pelvic thrusting at Trish. The women get in an argument so Kane grabs Trish, allowing Viscera to crush him in the corner. A Samoan drop gets two and a Boss Man Slam is good for the same as the slow yet high impact offense continues. Kane gets in a DDT to set up the top rope clothesline and it’s Viscera’s turn to lay down for a bit.

The chokeslam is broken up and the head outside with Viscera splashing the post by mistake. Trish’s chair shot is broken up by Lita’s crutch and we get a rather effective evil smile from Lita. Back in and Viscera gets two off a sitout chokebomb but he stops to go after Lita. Tongue is extended so Kane kicks him in the….I’m not sure where but we’ll call it blubber. A chokeslam (well protected by some camera cuts) puts Viscera away.

Rating: D. You know, this could have been a lot worse. They didn’t try to do anything more than the high impact stuff and while it should have been about two minutes shorter, it was far from some disaster that will haunt fans for years to come. If nothing else the chokebomb and Lita’s evil smile worked well. I’ll call this a rather surprising result, even if it wasn’t very good.

Post match Trish yells at Viscera and says she never would have lowered herself to sleeping with him anyway. He’s a chicken eating loser you see. She’s going to find a man to take Viscera out and that man will get a lot of loving. Viscera bearhugs her down and hits a splash, setting up the hip thrusts to a rather big face pop. I don’t see this going anywhere positive. Trish does a stretcher job to fill in more time.

We recap Muhammad Hassan/Khosrow Daivari vs. Hulk Hogan/Shawn Michaels. Hassan and Daivari don’t like how America has treated them so they beat up Shawn Michaels. That meant Shawn needed a Real American and there just happened to be one who the fans had been begging for one more match. It’s a big deal for Hassan and Daivari, even though they have as much chance to win as I do of winning Ms. Nevada 1978.

Hulk Hogan/Shawn Michaels vs. Muhammad Hassan/Khosrow Daivari

The fans waste no time in starting the HOGAN chants as soon as Shawn’s entrance is done and the legendary hero pop blows the roof off of the place as soon as the music hits. We stall for a good bit for the sake of more cheering before Hogan and Hassan get things going. Hogan draws a line for him to cross and then shoves Hassan into the corner, meaning we hit the posing. The shoulder has Hassan sprawling into the corner and it’s a wristlock so Hogan can get in his grunting.

After a quick double teaming in the corner, Hogan beats them both up and drops Hassan with a clothesline. A poke to the eye allows Shawn to come in and there’s a double big boot to keep this one sided. Daivari gets in a few chops but Shawn shows him how to do them properly as the beating continues. Hogan comes back in and sends Daivari into the barricade and post for good measure. Back in and the greatest hits continue with some elbow drops and the boot rake.

More Shawn chops keep up the control and the top rope elbow means it’s already time to tune up the band. Hogan goes after Hassan though and the distraction lets Hassan get in a pipe shot to Shawn’s back. That’s good for two because Hassan and Daivari have no chance of winning here. Hassan drops some elbows on the back and Daivari pulls on both arms at once. With the match going nowhere, Lawler lists off some countries getting to watch the show live.

Shawn’s sleeper is countered with a quick backbreaker and it’s off to the worst camel clutch I can remember in a long time. Shawn powers up into an electric chair for the break and the hot tag brings in Hogan. The double noggin knocker sets up a big boot to Daivari but since the legdrop isn’t available (due to hip replacement), Hassan hits Hogan in the back with a pipe. That’s good for two, but more importantly it triggers the Hulk Up with the big boot hitting Daivari. Hogan gets rid of Hassan and Sweet Chin Music is good for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was a case where it depends on what you were looking for. The match wasn’t about having something competitive or really anything close to it. This was about getting Hogan out there and having him in a dream team with Shawn. It might not do much for Hassan and Daivari, but it’s not like the team is really working in the first place. It’s not like you can have Hassan and Daivari as a serious threat to these two anyway, so this was as good as it was getting.

Post match, a lot of posing ensues and they bring in a fan with a huge Hogan tattoo over his back. Yeah he’s rather out of shape but there’s something awesome about a mega fan like that getting the moment of a lifetime.

HHH promises to win the title with the Pedigree tonight.

Here are Christian and Tyson Tomko for a chat. Christian might be heading to Smackdown in the upcoming Draft, so this could be his last Raw pay per view. Therefore, he would like to address his fellow main eventers….in rap form. Batista has muscles to spare, but he has charisma like Tomko has hair, HHH and Flair have 26 titles between them and the world’s biggest nose and JBL has money but he’s boring.

That leaves us with John Cena, who talks like Snoop Dogg but looks like Corey Haim. That one even gets Tomko and Lawler is asking if JR got it. After the Draft, whether it’s Raw or Smackdown with JR or Michael Cole, Christian will be champion, because that’s how he rolls. This was funny stuff and Christian’s mega push seems imminent. The fans are certainly buying into him and that’s what matters most.

We recap Batista vs. HHH. Batista won the title at Wrestlemania and HHH wants it back because he never hit the Pedigree and knows that’s enough to put Batista away. It’s not much of a story but it’s all they have here.

Raw World Title: Batista vs. HHH

HHH is challenging and Ric Flair, who gets his own entrance, handles the introduction. They circle each other for a good while until Flair offers a distraction so HHH can hammer away. It’s too early for the Pedigree as Batista slips out, with HHH showing him how close it was. Some right hands in the corner have HHH in trouble but it’s also too early for the Batista Bomb.

A backdrop works just fine and a second gets Batista out of a second Pedigree attempt. They head to the floor instead with HHH driving him back first into the barricade for a flip over into the crowd. Back in and HHH’s chops have no effect so he turns Batista around and drives shoulders to the back for a painful looking shot. A hard whip into the corner hurts Batista’s back again and Flair gets in a few shots to earn his keep.

The spinebuster cuts off the comeback for two but one heck of a clothesline drops HHH. Batista knocks him to the floor without much effort and there’s the hard whip into the steps. Back in and the powerslam plants HHH again, meaning it’s time to shake the ropes. Flair offers a distraction though and HHH gets in a belt shot to counter the Batista Bomb ala the Last Ride and the sledgehammer at Wrestlemania XVII. The big clothesline hits the referee and the Pedigree connects immediately thereafter because of course it does.

Cue another referee (putting his shirt on as he runs down the ramp) as Batista hits the spinebuster for two. Some running clotheslines in the corner have HHH rocked but he kicks the referee low. Flair has to be dealt with again and the Pedigree is countered with a catapult into the buckle. That’s shrugged off for a low blow so HHH can hammer away in the corner, only to get Batista Bombed out for the pin (again, just like Wrestlemania XVII).

Rating: C-. There was a lot in this one and a good chunk of it was a bunch of stuff that felt like the finish. I’m not sure why they were going with so many big spots from a four year old Undertaker match but at least it’s being taken from a good match. The other problem was how much this felt like a HHH match/story instead of Batista’s. Heaven forbid we don’t go a month without a HHH moment, but the match itself wasn’t that bad.

Post match Batista poses as HHH shoves Flair and Pedigrees the referee. Just in case you had lost focus on what really matters you see.

Overall Rating: C. It came, it went, it was a show. This was one of those pay per views that felt like it was only there because a pay per view was scheduled. The Hogan match felt big and really, that’s about it. The main event came off like a long form house show match and nothing has really changed. That’s not to say it’s a bad show, as the opener and the Last Man Standing match are both good, but it’s a show that doesn’t feel important in any way. It’s time for something fresh and the fallout from Wrestlemania doesn’t quality. Perfectly watchable show, but nothing interesting or memorable aside from Hogan.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Summerslam 2005
Date: August 21, 2005
Location: MCI Center, Washington D.C.
Attendance: 18,156
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, Michael Cole, Jonathan Coachman

The Navy color guard presents the flag and Lillian Garcia sings the National Anthem. She may stumble over a lot of announcements but she can sing the heck out of that song.

Never mind as the main song that will be played in the arena is some stupid hip hop song.

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. Orlando Jordan

Edge vs. Matt Hardy

Rating: C+. This was fun while it lasted but the length and ending crippled it. Matt was on fire coming in but he would be made to look like the jobbiest jobber of all time during the feud with Edge. Eventually Edge would send him to Raw and keep Lita, ultimately winning the world title in a few months. This was more or less it for Matt as far as being a big deal.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio

Eddie slides in the ladder and goes up but a springboard dropkick takes Guerrero down. Another ladder is brought in but Rey dropkicks it into Eddie, sending both the ladder and Guerrero to the floor. A great looking springboard seated senton takes Eddie down but Rey is too banged up to immediately climb. They slug it out on the ladder with Eddie taking over but they botch the first big spot of the match: Eddie tries a sunset bomb but Rey falls off a second late, meaning he falls on Eddie instead of with him.

Back up and the ladder crushes Rey in the corner before Eddie brings in a second ladder. Rey is sandwiched between the ladders so Eddie can hit a slingshot hilo in a painful looking spot. Guerrero goes up but Rey sets the other ladder up like a ramp to get to the top. Eddie is backdropped onto the ladder ramp, sending both ladders and both wrestlers crashing down to the mat. Rey goes up one more time but has the ladder dropkicked out from under him in the second crash in 90 seconds.

Rey hits Guerrero with the briefcase post match.

Eugene vs. Kurt Angle

Kurt sends him into the buckle but Eugene Hulks Up and does his goofy punching and a Rock Bottom for two. A Stunner gets the same and Eugene is pulls invisible straps down to set up an ankle lock on Angle. Kurt easily gets up and hits the Angle Slam followed by the ankle lock for the submission.

Rating: D. They booked a five minute squash at Summerslam for KURT ANGLE??? Seriously? This was a horribly dull match and Eugene had no business being in there. He barely even acts slow anymore and is really just Hacksaw Jim Duggan minus the patriotism. Thankfully Kurt would move on to face Cena for three months straight after this.

Angle stands on a chair and has the medal placed around his neck.

The Divas are in bikinis and washing a limo. It has the Presidential logo on the door and Vince comes out. “Hey, why not?” THANKFULLY this went nowhere.

Undertaker vs. Randy Orton

Some big shot Republicans are here.

Chris Jericho vs. John Cena

The fans are split here as Jericho chokes away on the ropes. Cena is in trouble but he comes back with a HARD clothesline to put both guys down again. They slug it out with Cena taking over and hitting his usual finishing sequence, including the spinning powerbomb but as he loads up the Five Knuckle Shuffle, Jericho counters into the Walls. After a long crawl, Cena finally makes it to the rope to escape. A belly to back superplex gets two for Jericho but as they get back up, he charges right into the FU to retain the title for Cena.

Chicago gets Wrestlemania 22.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

JBL dollars rain from the sky before we get going. The fight starts in the aisle and a belt shot to the head has JBL in trouble. They head over to some of the equipment with JBL being sent into various metal objects. Batista is whipped into a steel case and they brawl through the crowd to ringside where the champion spears JBL through the barricade. A dazed Batista is sent into the post and we finally get inside the ring.

Shawn Michaels vs. Hulk Hogan

Michaels cools his heels on the floor before the bell as the fans are way into this. Hogan easily wins the first lockup and shoves Shawn down a few more times. The fans tell Shawn that he screwed Bret as he hooks a headlock to take over for a few moments. A hard shoulder block puts Shawn on the floor and Michaels stalls again. Back in and Shawn chops away before being whipped onto the top rope for some punts to the ribs. Shawn is crotched on the top and punched in the face for his efforts.

Hogan drops him on the announce table and pounds away with those “ham-like” right hands. Shawn is posted but Hogan breaks the count at nine. Hogan tries to ram him in again but Shawn slips off and posts Hulk instead. The bald one is cut open and Shawn pounds away at the cut. They fall to the mat with Shawn staying on the assault and the cut being in such a goofy straight line that you almost have to chuckle.

Shawn and Hogan make up and massive posing ends the show.

Ratings Comparison

Chris Benoit vs. Orlando Jordan

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Matt Hardy vs. Edge

Original: B+

Redo: C+

Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: B

Redo: B-

Kurt Angle vs. Eugene

Original: A+

Redo: D

Randy Orton vs. Undertaker

Original: B-

Redo: C+

John Cena vs. Chris Jericho

Original: C

Redo: C

Batista vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Original: D

Redo: D+

Hulk Hogan vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: B-

Redo: C-

Overall Rating

Original: B

Redo: D+

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/08/08/history-of-summerslam-count-up-2005-shawn-vs-hogan-and-cena-vs-batista/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Summerslam 2005
Date: August 21, 2005
Location: MCI Center, Washington D.C.
Attendance: 18,156
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, Michael Cole, Jonathan Coachman

The main change can be summed up in one word: Cena and Batista. They took the world titles at Wrestlemania and haven’t looked back since. Other than that, there’s not a lot of differences. The main changes would be the alignments of some faces and heels. Eddie is now a heel, as is Orton, who was getting to the tweener stage last year. Edge is also full heel now, but that deserves a special mention later.

The main event however has none of those people to worry about. Tonight, the main event is a clash of two titans. Ok maybe more like a titan against Zeus, as Hulk Hogan meets Shawn Michaels. Now this wasn’t much of a rivalry as much as it was a challenge. At Backlash, the two had teamed up to fight off the evil of Muhammad Hassan and Daivari.

Then on the Fourth of July, Shawn superkicked him to end Raw, leading us here. To say the promos that Shawn did leading up to this were hilarious is the understatement of the year. Anyway, that’s the undisputed main event and also a source of controversy which I’ll get to later. Anyway, let’s get to this. Oh yeah one last note: due to the draft, the titles have switched shows.

Lillian sings the National Anthem which is awesome as always. You can see how much she puts into it and it’s awesome.

The video is great here, although that may be because it’s set to Remedy by Seether, one of my all time favorite songs. We get the usual highlights of the feuds, but then once it looks like we’ve done them all and the song plays for a bit, Shawn kicks Hogan to bring it to a dead halt. It’s just really well done and highlights all of the matches that are coming up tonight.

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. Orlando Jordan

Jordan is champion here. Jordan won the title from Cena about 5 months ago. He really never did much with the title other than have some bad looking boxing moves, despite being a decent boxer as an amateur. He beat Benoit at the Great American Bash but had to use the turnbuckle to do it. This is Benoit’s rematch.

The Crippler gets a great pop. Always interesting to see a guy go from main eventing to opening the show. Wow I forgot how annoying Jordan was. That all being said, this match lasts 25 seconds. Here’s the whole match: They lock up, Benoit takes him to the corner, Jordan punches him once, Benoit hits the German, crossface, new champion.

Rating: N/A. This was AWESOME. The crowd was losing it as soon as he got the crossface on and so was I. I won’t give it a rating but if I did, instant A. The crowd is completely fired up now and they think they can’t miss a thing now. GREAT way to start the show. I loved this.

Since there was next to nothing to say there, here’s the aftermath of it. They would have three rematches. One would last longer than this, clocking in at an earth shattering 49.8 seconds. It led to some very funny segments with Benoit trying to find things he could do that lasted longer than the match. Again, this was AWESOME.

Eddie is in the…HOLY CRAP IS THAT VICKIE??? She’s got red hair, a MUCH nicer voice and is thin. Ok, now I could see him marrying that. I’ll go into what they talk about later, as the angle is without a doubt the dumbest I’ve ever seen and deserves its own discussion.

There are soldiers there from the military hospital. That never stops being cool.

We recap Edge vs. Matt. Holy crap where do I begin here? This is one of the best stories of all time. Notice I didn’t say storyline there, because it was a real event. Matt and Lita were dating, and she left him for Edge. This became public knowledge and Edge kept teasing that Matt would come and beat him up for it.

Matt was at ROH for awhile, and then in what was one of the most shocking things I can ever remember, Matt showed up on Raw from out of nowhere, stunning everyone including the IWC by shouting that he’d see everyone at Ring of Honor. Yes, ROH was mentioned by name on WWE television.

The key to this was simple: the announcers weren’t told it was coming. How in the world are they supposed to respond to it? It threw everyone off and was a huge success as NO ONE saw this coming. If you want to credit Edge’s rise to the top to one thing, this is it.

Matt Hardy vs. Edge

To say Lita looks good is like saying Sly is an ok debater. She’s looking extra hot here, with the jeans and bra but her stomach is all muscular and thin. I can easily see why a fight would break out over her. Edge is just about booed out of the building. The pop for Matt is huge. If there was ever a time that he should have been pushed to the moon, this was it. This is likely to be a shoot and not a regular match. Yep, it’s a shoot.

If this was a work, then give these two freaking medals. I know at least some of those shots were legit. This might be the hardest hitting match I’ve ever seen. Other than a spear through the ropes like he did to Foley, everything is a strike that you might see in a UFC fight. Matt’s head gets opened up and after a bunch of stiff shots to it, the referee stops it. I know that part was a work, as it’s a bad cut but not horrid.

Oddly enough, Matt would go on to cleanly win the next two matches before losing to Edge in a ladder match and having to leave Raw. It looks bad now, but he would redeem himself. The replay shows that the post spot where Matt got cut was a work, as he more or less crawls forward to get in position. Even still, very fun match.

Rating: B+. For what it was, this was great. For a wrestling match, it was BAD. However, I loved it for how brutal it looked and how great Lita looked, so while a lot would go the opposite here and I wouldn’t argue with them, this was fun. It wasn’t good, but it was fun.

There’s two songs apparently, a very bad pop/rap song and Remedy.

And now we have arrived. What we have next is without a doubt the WORST angle I have ever seen. Before I do the recap, allow me to quote Tony Chimmel’s announcement of the next match.

“The following contest is a ladder match FOR THE CUSTODY OF DOMINICK!”

Yes, the stipulation here is that the winner of this match gets custody of an 8 year old boy. Here’s your story: Eddie and Rey were tag team champions yet for awhile they had some one on one matches and Eddie never won. All of a sudden he started talking about a secret, which clearly was that he was Rey’s son’s real father. Eventually they had a match at the Great American Bash where if Eddie won he would get to tell the secret, but if he lost it stayed a secret.

Rey won, but on Smackdown Eddie just said it anyway which was something that I loved. Either way, Eddie gets custody of Dominick but is willing to put it on the line in a ladder match for one more chance to beat Rey. Dominick is at ringside with his social worker, just to make this even more ridiculous. One final note: Rey Mysterio is a lucky man, as his wife is smoking.

Rey Mysterio vs. Eddie Guerrero

This, as I said, is the dumbest thing I have ever heard of, but the match should be good. Tazz and Cole talk about their sons as Rey hugs Dominick. This is what Eddie and Vickie were talking about earlier if you didn’t get that. We start with a stall as neither guy really moves at all. Yeah that’s a great way to get the crowd more fired up: don’t move. Apparently Eddie is 0-6 vs. Rey in his career. Dominick, the scared little boy, standing next to a guy in a Cactus Jack shirt is funny to me for some reason.

I get that he’s supposed to be scared and I think he’s playing his part well, we don’t need to see his reaction after every move. They bring the ladders in pretty fast and it’s mostly just their regular moves with the ladders involved along with some basic stuff. Rey is off a bit here which makes great sense as he’s worried about his son.

That’s a nice piece of logic and it makes perfect sense here. In a great spot, Eddie is almost up the ladder but Rey sets another ladder up like a ramp and climbs it to stop Eddie. That’s pretty good but the good part is the backdrop off the ladder, which causes both of them to fall and the crash is just great. Cole calls Eddie sick about 10 times which makes me think he needs some antibiotics.

Ok, now this match just gets bad. Eddie hits a big spot to knock Rey out. He’s climbing the ladder and is about to win, and DOMINICK runs in to shake the ladder. Eddie drops down and says things like “Give me a hug” and “I’m going to be your new daddy!” Ok, where do I begin here? Number one, where is security? They can’t stop an 8 year old boy from jumping the guard rail, or I guess in his case climbing it, getting in the ring, grabbing the ladder, or Eddie from raising his fist at him?

Number two, where was that social worker or whatever? Isn’t her job to make sure that the kid is safe? Yes, I’m sure that it’s safe for a child to run into a wrestling ring and shake a ladder with a grown man on it. Number three, isn’t a social worker a local thing? What kind of social worker would allow this to even happen? How could a professional wrestling match determine the custody of a child? And we have another 7 minutes to go! Where is my medicine?

Finally, does anyone else think Eddie sounds a little perverted with what he said in there? He says more than what I said, but it’s just a bit odd sounding. Anyway, Rey does another dumb spot as he hits the 619 into the ladder into Eddie. Yeah, that’s very smart Rey. And you wonder why your knees are shot. Oh and Eddie looking over his shoulder while in position didn’t help things.

After Rey hangs from the cord, (Eddie catches him in a powerbomb but Cole keeps calling it a Spinebuster until Tazz corrects him after seeing the replay) he gets pinned under the ladder as Eddie climbs up. Eddie then proves how stupid these matches can be as he spends like 20 seconds trying to unhook the stupid thing while waving at Rey. Rey of course counters and shakes the ladder and Eddie hangs on the cord.

Who makes those things, NASA? I would have loved it if Eddie had tucked his knees in and Rey had tried to jump up to grab him but he just wasn’t tall enough. Cole and Tazz go one and on about how Eddie has no heart. I love how last year he had the biggest heart in the world, but now it’s revealed that he’s always had a black heart. My goodness I love kayfabe. Where in the world did they come up with that term anyway?

Rey is in trouble again as Eddie goes up but Vickie runs out and shoves him off. Tazz’s line of she doesn’t belong out here made me laugh out loud. You know, if she wore something other than brown she could actually be attractive. She’s probably 40 pounds lighter here if that means anything. Dang how many times does Rey have to be saved here? Anyway, Rey climbs up and Vickie grabs Eddie to hold him back so Rey wins.

Dominick jumps the railing again as Rey’s wife walks down the ramp to join them. Seriously, how bad is security in this building??? Eddie throws a fit as Cole’s commentary tells us just how stupid this whole thing really was. Rey slides back in and with Eddie looking at him the whole time, he nails Eddie in the head with the briefcase. Great way to treat something you worked so hard to get.

Rating: B. The match was fine, but DANG the storyline couldn’t have been shoved down our throats any harder. We get it: Eddie is evil and Rey is about to lose his family. You spent half the match talking about it. This is an example of where commentary can hurt a match. At the end I almost wanted Eddie to win so I could laugh at Cole and Tazz. Either way, the match itself was fine, all stupid parts aside. It’s hard to think that Eddie would be dead in three months.

Jericho cuts a solid promo about how he will win tonight and that Cena is just the flavor of the month. He says that he beat Rock and Austin in the same night and that Cena can’t compare to them. There’s a thread there, and remember this was 4 years ago.

Eugene vs. Kurt Angle

My goodness why does Eugene keep getting the good wrestlers at this show? Christy Hemme comes out with Eugene dressed as a rather nice cheerleader, so maybe there’s something to Eugene. The story, which isn’t told here, is that Angle had been offering his gold medals to anyone that could last 3 minutes with him. Eugene won them, and now he wants it back. That leads us here as there’s no time limit for this match. Oh joy, oh rapture.

We’re finally at Kurt’s best known look, as he’s bald and has the You Suck chants. The odd thing is that he miss times his pyro so as he’s walking to the ring it goes off instead of when he’s pointing up. Eugene is getting killed for the early part here but comes back and tries a People’s Elbow. Angle pops up and takes his head off with a clothesline to one of the biggest pops of the night. Angle is just killing him here and the fans are WAY behind him.

Eugene looks like a jobber with his offense here and is getting booed out of the building from just a few basic punches. See WWE, there’s this thing called LISTENING. Try it sometime. German suplex is called an Angle suplex as Eugene is just about out of it, drawing another huge pop. I’ve heard of wrestlers being hated before but this is some of the worst I’ve ever seen. Coach says Angle wants to continue to beatdown the beatdown. Right, thank you Coach.

Eugene hulks up and hits a Rock Bottom that gets two. He asks the referee if it was three and then remembers his gimmick is that he’s slow. A stunner gets two as the crowd is as hot as Christy. Eugene pulls down some invisible straps so it looks like he’s scratching his shoulders and puts on the ankle lock. I thought he was emulating his favorite wrestlers. A guy that hates him is his favorite? Whatever.

Angle counters, hits the slam and makes Eugene tap to the roar of the fans. They kept it short, which was a great idea here as last year’s 17 minute match was just flat out stupid. Even Ross is talking about how dominant that was. Afterwards, Angle stands on a chair and has the referee put the medal around his neck which is kind of cool.

Rating: A+. Anytime Eugene gets destroyed like he did here, it’s a great match. He was just annoying at this point. A year ago he was ok I guess as the gimmick of someone that was slow but was a wrestling savant was actually kind of cool. Now he’s just slow as his wrestling ability has been forgotten and he just uses big time finishers. See, that’s how you can tell they’ve given up on him. They had a cool idea and then they just dropped it. That’s never a good sign, period.

The Divas are in bikinis and washing a car for no apparent reason. We see that it has the Presidential logo on it. The window rolls down and Vince is in it. He says why not? A bumper stickers says McMahon for President. Nothing ever came of this.

Randy Orton vs. Undertaker

We cut back to the arena and just hear a gong. Thanks for the buildup or anything guys. This is just a Mania rematch which happened because Orton wanted to stop the streak. I’ve always liked Burn in My Light better than Voices. Orton standing in front of the pyro doing his pose just looks awesome. Even though he’s a heel he actually gets a solid pop.

I miss this version of Orton. For one thing the color of his skin is a bit less orange. It’s weird seeing Taker come out first. Orton hits the floor early to hide and I can’t say I blame him. Taz seems to agree with me. Taker slaps him in the face and the beating is on. I love seeing Taker grab someone by the throat and throw them into the corner. It’s just awesome looking.

Apparently Orton smiled after taking a chokeslam on Thursday so he’s getting in the head of the Deadman. Sounds to me like he’s getting chokeslamed which usually means he would lose. Old School is blocked by an arm drag which gets two, likely because it was an arm drag. Orton might have a bad shoulder thanks to a match with Benoit on Smackdown.

Orton takes over with punches. Take a guess as to how well that goes for him. BIG boot takes Orton down for two. This is different than their Mania match and I’m not sure if I like it better or not. Just waiting on Taker’s momentum to die until he gets beaten up for like 8 minutes and then we hit the finish. Running knee in the corner has Orton in big trouble.

Taker keeps going after the referee for no good reason. He tries the same running shot in the corner and of course it misses, allowing Orton to take over. He gets a modified elevated DDT as Taker is coming in for two. Orton goes to the knee as no one has EVER tried that on Taker right?

Powerslam by Orton gets two. And so much for a pin attempt as he goes back to the knee. With his good leg he hits the apron legdrop and actually SELLS THE LEG. I’m just so darn proud! He somehow manages to hit Old School but can’t follow up due to the knee. Snake Eyes hit but the big boot can’t work so Orton gets a dropkick to put Taker down. RKO is blocked though.

Tombstone is reversed and of course that doesn’t work but the reversal is reversed into the backbreaker for two. WHY WOULD YOU TRY TO TOMBSTONE UNDERTAKER??? That has never worked once unless your name is Kane. Does no one watch tape anymore? Crazy new generation. Chokeslam hits and there’s the sign for the tombstone.

A fan runs in and it’s Bob Orton. For the life of me I will never get the appeal of him. Seriously, what’s so great about Bob Orton? What makes him a legend, aside from hanging out with Roddy Piper? That isn’t revealed though until later. Taker goes to get Orton and walks into the RKO for the pin. And the fan is Bob Orton.

Rating: B-. It’s nowhere near their Mania match, so that’s not helping things. I like how they had Bob come in at the end though as it adds something new which furthers the story a bit. There would be two more matches with these two before they finally blew it off in the Cell at Armageddon.

This was fine, but I prefer Mania by a lot, as we had seen a lot of this before, 4 months prior to this. Still not bad at all though. It amazes me how Orton has gone from the rookie wonder last year to this in just a year’s time.

They point out some Republican politicians in the crowd and no one cares.

Time to recap Jericho vs. Cena, which Ross messes up by saying Jericho is champion. This was more about Cena vs. Bischoff as they try to redo Austin vs. McMahon. Jericho is his handpicked opponent to become champion. We knew Jericho was leaving after Raw the next night so there was a real chance they would do the one night title switch and put it back on Cena the next night. Jericho is walking to the ring as we see him from the back coming through the curtain as his music plays. That’s kind of cool.

Raw World Title: Chris Jericho vs. John Cena

In a weird sounding thing, Lillian says that Jericho was born in New York. When have they ever worded it like that? This is being built up as rock vs. rap. Yeah that’s great. The Cena pop is huge. Wow Lawler is 3-0 at Summerslam? That’s actually quite surprising. They point out that it’s wrestling vs. brawling here, and mention Rock and Austin. Dude, it’s great, but even I’m sick of hearing about it. On the floor Cena hits….let’s call it a spear I guess.

It’s kind of just a running tackle that they call a spear. Ross surprisingly says he’s not a Cena fan. He says that he tells it like it is, which makes me laugh even harder. This is pretty much dominance to start, as JR uses the word sycophant. Dang how much foreshadowing are they going to do? Ross is being kind of a jerk here as he keeps telling Coachman to shut up. For once I agree with Ross. Coach uses Rock lines which make me shake my head.

The commentary is more interesting than the match here as Jericho is pretty much dominating. Top rope superplex is cool. In a cool looking spot Cena goes for the shoulder block and Jericho slides between his legs. You know Jericho has two of the worst finishers of all time with the Lionsault and the Walls. When did they ever win anything when he was a heel? By the way, the STFU was a few weeks away at this point. He does however use the top rope leg here. You can tell he’s still not entirely comfortable with being the top star, but he’s getting there.

FU is blocked into a DDT, which was foreshadowed by the feet of Jericho kicking. That’s the natural counter to everything I guess. We have very loud dueling chants of let’s go Cena/Jericho. At the time, Jericho just failed as a heel because he was far too much like his old face persona. A lot of his movements and mannerisms are the same, which is why his current persona works much better. It’s completely different than his old one was and there’s little likable about it.

Five moves are countered, namely the You Can’t See Me. Jericho’s epic counter you ask? He rolls over. I love how “big” moves are blocked so easily at times. The Walls of course do nothing at all but get a face pop. Cena goes for an FU from the second rope which doesn’t work.

Jericho gets a running start but Cena grabs him and in a very cool looking sequence, hooks him in a tilt a whirl up onto his shoulder to FU him for the finish as JR yells louder than he did when Austin was champ. That ending was very cool looking.

Rating: C. This felt way too short. Cena was beaten up almost the whole time but in the end of course he hits his big move to knock off the enemy. It was fine for a PPV match I guess, but it was far from special. They would have another match the next night where the loser was fired. Jericho lost and would leave for almost 3 years.

WM 22 is in Chicago.

Recap of the JBL vs. Batista feud which more or less is them having a match at the Bash but Batista gets disqualified. That makes JBL want this to be no holds barred.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. JBL

JBL makes it rain 100 dollar bills to get the fans to cheer. They find that they’re JBL dollars to make them boo. The speed at which this crowd changes is amusing. Batista gets the big pop as the home town boy. However he gets jumped on the way to the ring as I think they figured out that this just wasn’t going to be a good wrestling match no matter what they did so they just made it a big brawl. They go into the crowd for a bit and Batista spears JBL through the barricade to get him back to ringside.

Well that’s one way to do it I guess. Hokey smoke they’re in the ring. For the second time tonight Cole knows the amount of time that the people have been champions. Thanks, but isn’t that a bit of overkill? As usual, a leather belt is brought in. Why would you wear one of those in a match anyway? It’s not like you think it’s safe or something. No one could be that stupid. Wait this is JBL and Batista. Ignore what I just said.

This is just a lot of hitting each other with power moves and the no holds barred thing is kind of stupid. The epic clothesline isn’t enough to stop Batista, so JBL gets some steps. Those are some freaking huge steps. This is just really bad. JBL misses a powerbomb from the steps, not onto them mind you. Batista Bomb but he doesn’t cover, but instead stands there like a moron with his mouth hanging open. The fans chant one more time so I guess you know what’s coming.

Yep, it’s a power bomb on the steps. I’m not impressed either. Of course this ends it. The impact wasn’t that good either as it’s such a far shorter drop that there’s no time to get any momentum behind it.

Rating: D. Yeah this was bad. It’s less than ten minutes and that might have been too long. The problem here is simple: these two are just big strong brawlers and that style doesn’t work against each other and it didn’t here. You need someone of a different style so that the power works well against it. This was really bad though as it was obvious who would win and there was no drama at all. Bad match and no drama means a waste of time.

Recap of the real main event, which I have to give them credit for getting right here as neither of the other matches should have closed out the show. Short version: Hogan and Michaels teamed up to fight the evil Middle Eastern guys, and then they teamed a bit more. Shawn said he had to know if he could beat Hogan, and that’s how we got here.

If I went through all of the promos for this I’d run out of room for how funny they were. I don’t think they were trying to make Shawn heel here but rather the less good of the two guys. This was actually a major match when you think about it and it was treated as such, so what more can you ask for here?

HBK vs. Hulk Hogan

We come back to the arena to dead silence. I mean nothing is going on but the general noise of the fans. Yeah that’s a great way to come out of a good video package guys. A few seconds of this is fine, but it goes on for about 15 seconds. That doesn’t sound like much but it’s a LONG time when you’re just sitting there waiting. Shawn FINALLY comes out to a pop but not a huge one. We still have no commentary.

Shawn prays as he usually does. I wonder if he’s praying to Hogan. Listen to his old promos and tell me he doesn’t sound like he thinks he’s God. The announcers try to make Shawn out to be an evil heel but it’s just failing. Dang the MCI Center needs a new roof. The fans just blew it off. A massive American Flag drops from the ceiling and it just looks awesome. The commentary is just completely biased as only Coach is on Shawn’s side.

Ok Hogan’s entrance is now at four minutes long. Neither has ever lost at Summerslam in a one on one match. That’s saying a lot. Shawn, forever the strategist, thinks it’s a good idea to try to overpower Hogan. Do I even need to make fun of that? A LOUD you screwed Bret chant starts up. It could be debated that such a chant could be directed at either person. They try to play this off as being the biggest match in Hogan’s career. That is just flat out funny.

This isn’t even the biggest match of Hogan’s career in this building, as this was where Hogan vs. Sting happened. Michaels’ bumping is just funny here as he’s selling a punch like a shot from a cannon. They talk about the big men that both men have beaten. Shawn is credited with Vader (he never beat him though), Diesel and Sid. Ok that’s all fine. They mention Hogan beating Andre and Coach mentions Big John Studd. This gets dead silence.

While it’s true that he beat John on some house shows, I don’t think he ever did it on a major show or a national broadcast, so I can see the skepticism there. Shawn slaps Hogan twice and actually gets away with it. They go to the floor with Hogan just killing him, but eventually Hogan goes into the posts head first. Amazingly enough he rubs his head, and right where he rubs it he’s bleeding. What are the odds of that?

You have to love that Shawn is beating up a 52 year old man. You have to love that this match isn’t stopped for the blood yet Matt vs. Edge was. Do you mean that Hogan isn’t as important as Matt Hardy? Shawn with a sleeper that Ross says is cutting off the flow of blood to the brain. Wouldn’t that kind of be helping Hogan since blood is flowing from his head? They ask how many people can say ended Hogan with his blood on their hands. I’m thinking Brock Lesnar there boys.

Shawn hits what I guess is supposed to be a forearm but Hogan just kind of falls over. Shawn goes for ANOTHER forearm but the referee goes down because of it. Do we really need that in this match? Just let one or the other get the win. The fans want Bret. Where in the heck does that come from? Shawn then applies the absolute WORST sharpshooter of all time.

He looks like he’s bent over in prison or something and Hogan looks like he’s in a half crab, which isn’t his fault as Shawn didn’t put it on right. Shawn got the leg crossing wrong I think. Yeah he did it’s supposed to be with the other arm. We have another referee here by the way. JR says that both men are looking for a win. I thought they were both looking for the way to Sesame Street. The other referee is down too. Yeah this isn’t overkill at all.

Shawn with a low blow that JR calls a low blow and then that it doesn’t need a description. Isn’t calling it low a description? Chair is brought in and barely hits Hogan as he falls early from it and Shawn lets it slide over the top of his head. Sweet Chin Music connects which gets a huge pop as Shawn circles Hogan to cover him correctly so Hogan can do the power kick out. Yep there it is.

Ok, now I can get that when Hogan is hit by an elbow or a splash that he can kick out like that, but this is a hard blow to his head. That makes NO sense, even from a wrestling perspective. We get the boot and leg drop, complete with Shawn’s insane selling that’s drawn a lot of criticism.

If Hogan can completely no sell the kick, Shawn can do that for the boot. Post match Shawn tilts face again. I say tilts because he never really turned in the first place. Oh and all of a sudden the commentators love him again too. The famous poses play us out.

Rating: B-. It was what it was, but no one believed Shawn was going to win. However, he should have. Hogan is certainly the bigger star, but he’s not a full time wrestler at this point and Shawn was. If Shawn wins here, he’s instantly getting a huge push as he just beat Hulk Hogan. Now I get that Hogan should win as the bigger star, and if they were both leaving or both staying you would be absolutely right, but that’s not what they were doing.

Shawn was staying and a win for him would be a huge push. Yes Hogan is the best ever, but he’s not even active at the moment so it looks like Shawn lost to some guy that just came back and beat him. I just don’t agree with this booking at all.

Overall Rating: B. This is a show where the overall product is much better than the individual matches. Batista vs. JBL is the only truly bad match on the card. The rest are good if not quite good. I don’t think there’s a true classic anywhere here or even a great match, but with everything being at least decent save for the WHC, this is a solid show. I’ll recommend it, but not completely.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: July 22, 2019
Location: Amalie Arena, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Corey Graves, Renee Young, Michael Cole

It’s a big night around here with Raw Reunion, featuring just about every big name you can think of who didn’t have anything better to do tonight. In other words, it’s time to try to get people to watch the show and since we don’t have many people of this generation to present (or Summerslam in less than three weeks), here we are. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here’s John Cena to get things going so they’re not wasting time around here. The fans are very pleased to see him. Cena: “WAIT A MINUTE! You mean all I had to do was be part of the Raw Reunion and now you’re all nice to me???” Cena lists off some of the big names scheduled to be here tonight because this is his home. He might not be around here as much as he used to be but this is his home so let’s get this started.

Cue the Usos with Jimmy saying WHOA WHOA WHOA. The people are happy with Raw Reunion but they want the three of them to drop some rhymes. Cena politely declines but Jey says these people are here to see the doctor. That gets Cena’s attention, with Jey making it worse by saying Cena left them for the movies. Cena gets back in and says he isn’t getting bested.

Cena: “Ya’ll look just like your mug shots. How was it getting arrested?” Cena tries to leave again but the Usos say hang on because here’s Rikishi. That’s enough for Cena to leave again, but Rikishi tells him to back it up and turn around. Rikishi can’t let him leave all fast and furious and dancing is loaded up, only to have the Revival cut them off. Hang on again though as here as here’s D-Von Dudley.

Jimmy Hart and Hulk Hogan are in the back with Hogan saying he thinks he can beat someone up tonight.

Usos vs. Revival

Non-title with Booker T. joining commentary and Rikishi/D-Von in the corners. A Wilder distraction lets Dawson get in a cheap shot on Jimmy and the villains take over. Dawson hits a belly to back suplex and steals the bandanna to throw at Rikishi. Jimmy gets knocked off the apron and out to the floor as we take a break, now with the screen in screen ala Smackdown.

Back in a hurry with Dawson elbowing Jimmy in the face and Wilder grabbing a chinlock. That’s broken up and Dawson misses a charge, allowing the tag off to Jey. The Samoan drop plants Wilder but Dawson shoves him out of the way of a high crossbody. Jimmy is right back with a running Umaga attack in the corner but Dawson makes a blind tag. A German suplex/middle ripe uppercut combination gets two with Jey making the save. D-Von and Rikishi stare each other down so Dawson yells, allowing Jey to hit a superkick. Jimmy’s Superfly Splash is good for the pin at 7:54.

Rating: C+. Another fun match between the two talented teams, though I’m still trying to figure out what D-Von has to do with the Revival. This probably sets up a title match at Summerslam which we’ve seen before, but it’s not like there are many other serious teams to challenge Revival at the moment.

Alicia Fox (not sure if she’s considered a legend or if WWE forgot she worked there) and Dana Brooke are in the back when Kaitlyn comes up. Torrie Wilson comes in and we must cheer her, only to have Santino Marella come in for the Cobra cameo. Drew McIntyre pops in and sneers at them.

We look back at R-Truth having to deal with Hurricane and Drake Maverick at Comic-Con.

R-Truth and Carmella think Big Bird could help deal with his problems when Renee Michelle pops in. It’s a ruse though as Maverick steals the pin and the title. Charly Caruso is shocked but Godfather, complete with music, shows up to hit his catchphrase. Dancing ensues. Graves: “Do you think she knew who that was?” Renee Young: “No.”

Cedric Alexander vs. Drew McIntyre

Rematch from last week where Alexander beat McIntyre. Drew goes right after him in the aisle and tries to send him into the post, only to post himself by mistake. A moonsault off the middle rope connects but Drew sends him into the post. The reverse Alabama Slam into the apron drops Cedric again and there’s no match.

Maverick goes into the locker room to get his stuff and runs into a crate of worms. Cue the Boogeyman to scare Maverick to death when Pat Patterson of all people comes in to steal the title. Pat: “Brisco is gonna love that.”

Viking Raiders vs. Curt Hawkins/Zack Ryder

Christian is out for commentary. Hawkins and Ryder double dropkick Ivar to start and an STO/Russian legsweep combination takes Erik down. A right hand drops Ryder though and Ivar hits his seated senton out of the corner. Ivar gets slammed onto Ryder, who is over for the tag to Hawkins a few seconds later. A suicide dive takes Ryder out and the Viking Experience finishes Hawkins at 2:38.

There’s a party in the back when Maria Kanellis comes in to yell at Mike for talking to Eve Torres and Eric Bischoff. Eric teases an offer to come to Smackdown when Maria comes in. She isn’t happy with Mike not rubbing lotion on her stomach to prevent stretch marks from the baby, which is going to ruin her modeling career. Maria is the breadwinner now and Mike has messed up again. Ron Simmons comes in and does the catchphrase, complete with Jimmy Hart’s megaphone.

The Club (now dubbed the OC) is in the back and talking about how awesome it is to be the only club that matters. They’re the ones who matter instead of these so called legends. AJ isn’t sweating Seth Rollins tonight but if Rollins wants more after he loses, they can make a statement. The OC is the most dominant group in WWE history then, now and forever.

Gerald Brisco has stolen the title from Patterson when he runs into Kelly Kelly, who pins him to win the title. Good thing they had her music cued up in case someone ran into her.

Here’s Samoa Joe for a chat. He talks about Raw Reunion, which is a plague to WWE. Tonight is about putting on rose colored glasses and indulge the fans’ addiction to nostalgia. Tonight you could have seen him wrecking people left and right and painting in brutality but instead you got the Usos and Rikishi spitting limericks at John Cena.

Cue Roman Reigns to interrupt because he doesn’t like his family being insulted. Joe gets in his face but Reigns says he knows what happens when you insult someone on the island. The fight is on and Joe goes for the eyes before sending Reigns shoulder first into the post. They head back inside with Reigns managing a Superman Punch to send Joe outside. Joe bails and Reigns says not all Samoans are cowards. That sounds like a challenge and the match is made for later.

Roman Reigns vs. Samoa Joe

Well it is later. Reigns sends him into the corner to start but misses a charge into the post. Joe takes him down into an early neck crank but Reigns fights up, earning himself an elbow to the face. A toss sends Reigns outside for the suicide elbow in a big knockdown. It works so well that Joe tries the same thing but Reigns moves this time. That means a big apron dropkick, followed by the clotheslines back inside. The Superman Punch is blocked and Joe hits a big boot for two. Joe escapes the Koquina Clutch to send him outside, setting up an ugly looking spear for the pin at 5:49.

Rating: C. This was all about hitting each other really hard and the motif of throwing each other outside over and over again was a fine way to keep things going. I’m not sure what Reigns is going to be doing at Summerslam but at this rate, I’m not sure Joe is going to have anything to do since he keeps losing so often.

It’s time for MizTV and after a plug for Miz and Mrs., here’s Seth Rollins. We look at Rollins winning the battle royal last week and then look at the title change from Extreme Rules. Miz calls the whole thing a predicament, which Rollins finds funny. He makes fun of Paul Heyman’s introduction of Lesnar and then Brock himself. Lesnar looks like Godzilla but Seth is ready to fight him.

Rollins says Lesnar is a Rollins wannabe but here’s Heyman on screen to interrupt. His name is Seth Rollins’ dose of reality and brings up Rollins cashing in on Lesnar four years ago. Rollins says that makes Lesnar a wannabe so here’s Heyman in the arena to say this is the last time….and Rollins cuts him off to say Heyman better be ready to walk the walk. Rollins teases coming up the ramp so Heyman runs. The reality is that Lesnar is no conqueror or beast because he is a man. Any man can lose and at Summerslam, Lesnar will lose. As for tonight, Rollins isn’t resting and gets to face AJ Styles so he can wrestle the best.

Sami Zayn interrupts the party (now with Jillian Hall) to say this is a huge waste of time. This is like watching the Attitude Era through the Face App and these people need to go home. Don’t come back at Wrestlemania or the Hall of Fame and just go home. Cue Rey Mysterio to say show some respect for the people who came before him (It’s Torrie Wilson, Jimmy Hart, Jillian Hall and Rikishi. I see one and a half people worth respecting in that group.). Kurt Angle comes in and we’ll be having a match next.

Kelly runs into Candice Michelle, Melina and Naomi in the back. As luck would have it, Melina just got her referee’s license and Candice wins the title, meaning the Go Daddy dance is back. Alundra Blayze comes in and makes her tap to win the title. She admits she isn’t going to be champion very long and leaves.

Sami Zayn vs. Rey Mysterio

Jonathan Coachman is on commentary. Sami knees him in the ribs to start and ties him in the Tree of Woe to take over. A running knee in the corner gets two and we’re already off to the chinlock. Back up and a spinning hurricanrana is countered into a sitout powerbomb for two on Rey.

Sami loads Rey up for something but gets caught in a tornado DDT for his efforts. It’s too early for the 619….and here’s Rob Van Dam, who is under contract to Impact but is here on a one night deal. Sgt. Slaughter, Hurricane, and Kurt Angle come out as well, allowing Rey to hit the 619 into a Frog splash (complete with finger points) for the win at 5:02.

Rating: D+. This was just there for the cameos and that’s fine. Rey is still active so it’s not like some random legend embarrassing a current star, which happens far too often at shows like this. Sami is a good punching bag and always has been, though at some point he needs to win a little something to maintain his credibility.

Ric Flair arrives.

The Street Profits are in the back with Dawkins needing some eye drops after spending some time with Van Dam in the bathroom. Ford is annoyed at not being invited and it’s even worse when he finds out Mark Henry and Ric Flair were there. Ford: “LIKE WOO???” Dawkins: “WOO!” Boogeyman was there too and Ford is about to lose it, made even worse when Godfather calls him.

Here’s Blayze in the arena to pull out a trashcan to drop the title but Ted DiBiase cuts her off and buys the title. We get the evil laugh and my night is made.

AJ Styles vs. Seth Rollins

Non-title and Jerry Lawler is out for commentary. Rollins grabs a headlock to start as Lawler goes over the 24/7 Title changes (Lawler: “I remember when those Stooges were asking for seconds at the Last Supper and now they’re winning championships!”). Some chops against the ropes have AJ in more trouble and a discus forearm rocks him into the corner.

An OC distraction lets AJ knocks Rollins off the apron and it’s time for all three of them to stare at Seth. HHH and Shawn Michaels come out for the big staredown and we take a break. Back with the match continuing as all four are still on the floor. Rollins hits the big springboard knee but the OC comes in for the DQ at 8:07.

Rating: C-. This didn’t have time to go anywhere and was all about the DX moment, which is perfectly fine. Also, it’s nice that they didn’t have the champ lose, which I almost expected after the Revival loss earlier. It was fine for a cameo and there’s nothing wrong with that on a show like this.

Post match the OC tease the Too Sweet but the fight is on. The OC grabs chairs but the Road Dogg, Kevin Nash, Scott Hall and X-Pac. Road Dogg talks about all of the members of DX, including Chyna’s spirit to make seven. Dogg: “Dang I forgot Billy.” They’re the OG’s so the OC bails. Rollins gets to do the catchphrase.

DiBiase gets in his limo and a pair of three counts and yelling is heard. Maverick comes out with the title but the mob chases him off.

Here’s Mick Foley for a chat. He talks about the 24/7 Title but the chase goes through the ring (Foley: “COME TO PAPA!”). They all leave so Foley wishes them a nice day. He’s had a lot of great memories on this show and wants to relive his favorite. That would be the title win on January 4, 1999…..and here’s Bray Wyatt. He puts Foley in the Mandible Claw and laughter is heard.

Here are Alexa Bliss and Nikki Cross for a Moment of Bliss. Nikki gets to introduce Becky Lynch as the guest but before anything can be said, here’s Natalya to interrupt. Bliss: “Whatcha doing out here?” Natalya wants Becky to say anything to her face but Bliss shows us the post match promo from last week.

Natalya rants about the lack of respect from Becky, even after they wrestled in Japan fourteen years ago. Becky laughs it off and brags about winning the Raw Women’s Title in the main event of Wrestlemania. The title is the scalp of the MMA woman and the fight is on. Referees break it up with Bliss and Nikki leaving with their coffees.

Post break Natalya says Becky made it personal when the Women’s Revolution was built off the backs of women like her. She’ll get a beating in Toronto.

Maverick goes to the limo when R-Truth comes up to steal the title again….and leaves in the limo with Maverick’s wife. Carmella is left with Maverick, who eventually realizes his wife is gone.

Braun Strowman vs. Randy Rowe

Strowman: “Don’t blink. This ain’t gonna last long.” Some huge beals set up a huge boot to put Rowe down. Strowman pulls him off the mat for a huge powerbomb and the win at 1:36.

Here are the legends (including Alicia Fox, who I believe was announced as a legend appearing despite being under a regular contract) for the big closing segment. Ric Flair and Hulk Hogan come out to toast Raw, with Hogan getting to give the speech and catchphrases.

With that out of the way, here’s Steve Austin and the coolers are ready in the corners. Austin talks about everything that all the legends have done and how this is all his family. The people in the stands are family and everyone watching the show around the world are part of the WWE family too. Austin talks about doing a podcast with Hulk Hogan today (oh that could be great) and then listening to a bunch of Ric Flair stories all night long.

Then he ordered room service but wasn’t done yet so he went downstairs and ran into Ron Simmons. Austin beat him to the catchphrase and talked to a bunch of other legends earlier. Those legends need to get down here because it’s time for beer drinking and toasting. The music plays but Austin asks if we have some time left. He talks about being in South Africa with Gerry Brisco years ago but then they’re out of time so he hits the catchphrase to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This was a very different kind of show and that’s exactly the point. They did a great job with the legends as none of them overstayed their welcome and the 24/7 stuff was as good as it could have been. The show flew by for a change and I was wanting to see what was coming up next. Having the matches be so much shorter is helping things a lot, though an actual Summerslam build would be nice at any given time. This was a fun night though and they did it exactly as they should have.

Results

Usos b. Revival – Superfly Splash to Dawson

Viking Raiders b. Curt Hawkins/Zack Ryder – Viking Experience to Hawkins

Roman Reigns b. Samoa Joe – Spear

Seth Rollins b. AJ Styles via DQ when the OC interfered

Rey Mysterio b. Sami Zayn – Frog splash

Braun Strowman b. Randy Rowe – Powerbomb

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Summerslam 1991
Date: August 26, 1991
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 20,000
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Roddy Piper, Gorilla Monsoon

We get the regular intro with the theme of a match made in Heaven and a match made in Hell.

Ricky Steamboat/British Bulldog/Texas Tornado vs. Warlord/Power and Glory

Steamboat is just The Dragon here, complete with what looks like a lizard man costume and breathing fire. The heels get the jobber entrance and have Slick with them. Steamboat and Roma get things going as Gorilla is listing off the rest of the card. Roma slams him down and mostly misses a dropkick before posing. Paul goes to the middle rope but dives into the armdrag and Steamboat cranks on the arm even more. Ricky hits a much better dropkick to put Roma in the corner for a tag to Hercules who gets caught in some armdrags of his own.

Rating: C+. Nothing wrong with this as it was a basic six man tag to fire up the crowd. Everyone looked fine and the crowd was WAY into the smark god known as Ricky Steamboat. The heels were all about to be gone from the company with only Warlord making it to 1992.

Sean Mooney says to call some hotline to hear prerecorded comments from Liz and Savage!

Intercontinental Title: Mr. Perfect vs. Bret Hart

Bret tries to get up but is knocked off the apron and right on top of a production guy who has a very confused look on his face. Back in and Bret jumps over Perfect in the corner and gets two off a rollup. The fans are WAY into this so far. Perfect sends Bret chest first into the buckle to take over again as Heenan is starting to lose his marbles. Another hard whip into the buckle gets two for the champion followed by the Hennig neck snap for two more.

Bret celebrates with his parents.

The Bushwhackers are ready for the Natural Disasters and Andre is ready for Earthquake, the man who broke his leg a few weeks back.

Natural Disasters vs. Bushwhackers

Andre looks terrible here and would be dead in less than 18 months. The Whackers sneak up on the big men on the floor and poke them in the eyes. We finally start with Butch vs. Typhoon and the big man being bitten on the trunks. Earthquake tries to come in but splashes his own partner by mistake. A double clothesline puts Quake down and the Bushwhackers are in full control.

Million Dollar Title: Ted DiBiase vs. Virgil

Rating: D. Actually hang on a minute.

The Mountie is ready for his Jailhouse Match with Boss Man. We get a clip of him shocking a handcuffed Boss Man from a few weeks ago. Moutnie insults the New York cops who take the loser to jail later tonight.

Boss Man says Mountie is going to jail tonight.

Mountie vs. Big Boss Man

Mountie is dragged away by cops.

The Natural Disasters are going to eat the Legion of Doom for dinner.

Savage is nervous for the wedding.

Mountie is tricked into having his picture taken.

Sgt. Slaughter and his cronies are excited about having a 3-2 advantage. Slaughter says he might have a surprise for later.

Tag Titles: Nasty Boys vs. Legion of Doom

The Nasties are defending and this is No Countout/No DQ, making it a street fight in modern terms. The champions are sent to the floor and the fight is on early. Back in the ring Animal hits a quick powerbomb on Knobbs for two followed by Hawk enziguring Sags down. We get down to the stupid tagging part of the street fight with Sags sending Hawk to the floor and hitting him with a bucket of water.

The Mountie is put in a cell by some VERY sweaty policemen.

I.R.S. vs. Greg Valentine

The tax guy heads in again and puts on an abdominal stretch followed by a jumping clothesline for no cover. Off to a chinlock before IRS misses a knee into the corner, giving Greg the opening on the leg. The Figure Four is quickly broken by a grab of the ropes and a second attempt at the hold is countered into a small package for the pin by IRS.

Hogan and Warrior talk about their victims in the main event.

Ultimate Warrior/Hulk Hogan vs. Sgt. Slaughter/Colonel Mustafa/General Adnan

Hogan and Sid pose for a long time post match.

Mountie is in jail and a fat biker hits on him.

Hogan and Sid are STILL posing.

We get the video of Savage proposing to Liz and her responding with an OH YEAH. We also get a four minute music video highlighting their entire history together to a sappy love song.

With the show in the arena done we go to the reception with Savage telling Heenan to beat it. Gene Okerlund does the ceremonial toast. They have the first dance and everything seems to be fine. Now we eat cake before heading over to the gift table where things get interesting.

Ratings Comparison

British Bulldog/Ricky Steamboat/Texas Tornado vs. Warlord/Power and Glory

Original: D

Redo: C+

Bret Hart vs. Mr. Perfect

Original: A+

Redo: A

Natural Disasters vs. Bushwhackers

Original: C-

Redo: D-

Virgil vs. Ted DiBiase

Original: B

Redo: D+

Big Bossman vs. The Mountie

Original: D

Redo: D+

Legion of Doom vs. Nasty Boys

Original: D

Redo: D

Irwin R. Schyster vs. Greg Valentine

Original: D+

Redo: D

Hulk Hogan/Ultimate Warrior vs. Sgt. Slaughter/Colonel Mustafa/General Adnan

Original: D

Redo: D+

Overall Rating

Original: D

Redo: C-

Dang this show ticked me off the first time.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/07/25/history-of-summerslam-count-up-1991-a-wedding-that-goes-badly-what-a-new-concept/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Summerslam 1991
Date: August 26, 1991
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 20,000
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Gorilla Monsoon, Roddy Piper

Obviously it’s a year later and there’s few differences. The main one is that Hogan is once again the world champion (stunning isn’t it?) and the Deadman has arrived. Other than that, there are very few differences. Hart is a singles wrestler now, so that’s the last major difference that I was forgetting. This card is really forgotten over time if you look at it from an historical standpoint.

The main event is Hogan and Warrior against Slaughter and his two cronies in a handicap match, meaning that Sheik Adnan al-Kaissie and the Iron Sheik are supposed to be equal to Hogan or Warrior? Remember Adnan? Neither do I. He was a manager in the AWA and that’s about it. The other big deal is tonight is the marriage of Savage and Elizabeth, because marriage, the most holy of unions, has to be on PPV right???

Other than that, this card is really forgettable. The main interesting point in this is what the Warrior did. He allegedly threatened to no show the PPV unless Vince paid him some obscene amount. He pulled this a few days before the PPV, and Vince really had no choice but to do what Warrior said.

This is where the “I couldn’t wait to fire him” line came from. Warrior got to the back after the match and was fired immediately. Other than that, there’s next to nothing of interest here, but I’ve seen worse cards be watchable, so maybe this one will be as well. Let’s find out.

Very standard opening with the song playing and the announcers talking about the big stuff that evening. Standard, but fine I guess.

Ricky Steamboat/Texas Tornado/British Bulldog vs. Warlord/Power and Glory

Steamboat is just called the Dragon here, and this is the famous scene where he’s dressed as a human lizard that breathes fire into the air. That’s a shame that he’s fallen this far this fast. He’d be back in WCW in just a few months where he was at least given some decent feuds and no stupid costume. Commentators completely ignore the match to talk about the matches later on in the show. Wait, they mentioned the six man.

You know I think these six…no it was just a quick thing about it. I feel like I’m watching a Nitro taping. Tornado comes in and all of a sudden they can’t stop talking about the match. I think that’s a bit of a shot at Steamboat by Vince. Literally, he was in there two and a half minutes and got one line about him. He leaves and the commentary is all about the match. We’re about 5 minutes into this and I’m still looking for a point to it.

I think it’s supposed to be Warlord vs. Bulldog, but I’m not sure really. It’s just a random group of faces vs. three heels with the same manager. I’m so utterly bored by this match that I can’t actually think of the words to explain it. It is just so standard and basic that I could see it at an FCW show. The wrestling is fine, but there’s no thought here at all. Faces win.

Rating: D. This was just so boring. Like I said, the wrestling was fine, but dang it was just there. There’s no thought, no story, no reason for this to take place. It’s an ok opener, but I would have wanted to see anything else.

Hey kids! Call this number if you want to hear a prerecorded comment from Savage or Liz about their fake wedding! Your parents won’t mind!

Mr. Perfect says he’s a great champion.

IC Title: Bret Hart vs. Mr. Perfect

Dang this was on second? This is by far and away the best match on the card and a lot of people, including Norcal, says that it’s one of the best matches ever. These two had such a magnificent chemistry together and it’s hardly ever been topped. I defy you to find a better pair of guys to have such consistent matches with. Stu and Helen are there…again. Has there ever been a match with Bret that they haven’t been at?

You don’t see them at Owen’s matches. No wonder Owen was the bitter one. Coach is there with Perfect, and sadly enough his death got NO coverage due to Misawa dying a day later. They start with a great set of back and forth stuff with no one being able to get an advantage. It’s one of those types of openings where you have a guy in control but he’s not dominating at all. Hart does that here by just having on a basic headlock.

Heenan continues to show why he’s as important as anyone on the roster as his lines about Bret’s parents make you want to cheer for Bret more than anyone else could. Perfect gets his singlet literally ripped apart by Hart which makes him look almost crazed about the match. He looks like he’s in a war despite this having been going about 7 minutes at this point. This is a great dynamic for a match as you have the young lion Bret facing the established veteran in Perfect, who has the exact same style.

Crowd is way into this one too, which is making it better. Perfect’s hair looks like he got a bad shock as his perm has practically exploded. He takes over though as Heenan is singing his praises. We get a hair toss, which isn’t something that you see that often in a men’s match. That would hurt like heck too. Imagine being tossed by your hair. If that’s going to happen to me I better be getting paid for it. There’s a good story playing out here as Perfect counters everything that Hart has.

Hart kicks out of the Perfect Plex as the fans and Heenan lose their minds. Heenan says that no one has ever done that, which is ridiculous as Warrior did it in 1990. Hart brings up the original 5 moves of doom to put Perfect in “a whole heap of trouble.” Coach breaks this up though so Perfect has control again. He drops a let between Bret’s legs and backflips out of it which is cool looking.

He does it again, and in one of the SWEETEST counters I’ve ever seen, Bret grabs his leg, puts the Sharpshooter on him on the mat from his back, spins him over and then pulls back on it for the tap out. That was freaking sweet. Bret runs over to his family to celebrate. We get to hear Stu’s voice, which I never recall hearing other than this.

Rating: A+. These guys were spot on the whole time. It was a nearly 20 minute match and I didn’t see a single botch or anything resembling a botch at all. That counter at the end was absolute perfection and it played so well into the rest of the match. These two had so much chemistry they might as well be a magnet high school. Great match all around.

Hulk Hogan has a special PPV coming up, which is nothing but his “biggest” matches. Forerunner to 24/7 I guess.

We cut to the back to see the Bushwackers and Andre the Giant, which has to the weirdest pairing of all time. Andre was completely gone at this point with big crutches holding him up. This is explained by Earthquake being the guy that injured him. This was his last major WWF appearance save for popping up at a battle royal in London a few months later, which wasn’t televised until on 24/7 and some special releases.

Bushwackers vs. Natural Disasters

It’s so sad to see the Bushwackers have to walk so slow to let Andre keep up with them. He just didn’t need to be out there at this point but you can see it in his eyes that he’s having a ball out there. His love for the business was so obvious and it’s a shame he wasn’t around for the big boom in the 90s, at least to see it if nothing else. Now in case you’re an idiot and can’t figure it out, this is a comedy match.

GREAT line by Piper. Heenan says if he were the manager of the Bushwackers he’s kill himself. Piper says go apply for the job. Piper was a freaking riot when he didn’t like someone. To further make this stupid, the Bushwackers beat them up to start. Can someone explain to me why this makes sense? Piper says that two guys from New Zealand are Americana personified. He can be a riot but he can also be a moron.

Heenan with a Larry, Darryl and Darryl joke to take the lead in the best commentator of the night race. Andre continues to point and grunt about various things. Heenan leaves to interview Hogan as the ND finally take control and the match gets boring in a hurry. Did the Wackers EVER do anything of note? I can’t remember anything.

Anyway, as expected, this ends with a Bushwacker, the one that licked me at a house show, getting pinned. Afterwards the Disasters go after Andre but the LOD run out for the save and the showdown that I’m not sure ever occurred.

Rating: C-. It was a comedy match. What do you really expect here? It was however, pretty short so it could have been far, far worse.

Heenan goes to Hogan’s dressing room with the NWA title to continue what should have been the biggest showdown of all time, but they somehow screwed it up. Heenan’s unveiling of the NWA Big Gold Belt in 91 still ranks in my top five most awesome moments in wrestling history. Hogan (never seen or heard) slams the door in his face.

More Savage/Liz phone line ads. Macho is shown on the phone line. This is just stupid.

DiBiase and Mooney recap the Virgil/DiBiase history. As bad as Virgil was, this match was actually kind of epic as the pop for Virgil finally turning was pretty big. This is the rematch from Mania 7 where Virgil won by countout.

Million Dollar Title: Ted DiBiase vs. Virgil

The wrestling here isn’t the appeal. Virgil has had very few matches at this point while DiBiase is one of the best in ring workers of all time. Surprisingly enough, DiBiase dominates early on. It’s pretty basic with punches and kicks with a roll-up here or there. There’s just not a lot to say about the first half of this match. Both guys are going pretty light out there which is fine I think, as it’s really more about the storyline than the match itself.

Piper was Virgil’s mentor so he’s cheering wildly for him. Heenan gets in a great line about Virgil being so dumb he’ll try to bronze the gold belt. After about 5 minutes of Virgil getting beaten up, he catches DiBiase in a Million Dollar Dream until Sherri runs in to cause the DQ as Piper absolutely snaps.

HOWEVER!

The referee decides that’s not fair and sends Sherri to the back while ordering the match to continue. Now we get a better match as they’re going a bit harder but Virgil is hurt after being hit by the loaded purse. DiBiase proceeds to kick his body guarding self from one side of the ring to the other, but the ref was bumped so we have no one to count the pin.

A piledriver (which is what love feels just like sometimes) puts him nearly out as DiBiase takes off the turnbuckle. Virgil counters and rams him in twice. I don’t like the ending though as it takes Virgil about 20 seconds to get the cover and the win. Piper goes insane over this.

Rating: B. As I said, this was all storyline and it was a very fun one. Virgil rising up to face DiBiase and say that he’d had enough, leading to the big blowoff of him winning the title that literally was DiBiase’s was just perfect. The wrestling was pretty bad, but the emotion makes up for it.

The Mountie says he’ll win tonight.

Big Bossman says he’ll win tonight.

Jailhouse Match: Big Bossman vs. Mountie

The loser spends a night in a New York jail, which is kind of an interesting idea. This was around the time that Mountie was using this stupid shock stick to attack people. Monsoon says this will be a classic. That’s just comical. Piper would finally beat Mountie as he had a vest or something that absorbed the electricity, which is actually brilliant. There’s all kinds of bad prison jokes by Heenan here as this is supposed to be a huge match.

Apparently the loser also gets arrested and will have a criminal record. Dude, seriously, this is absurd. I still can’t get over the fact that Mountie beat Bret Hart and Hogan. You’d think he was Edge or something. This is a pretty boring match as once again it’s all about storyline as the match really just doesn’t live up to the hype.

Gorilla says that Hart is the best advertisement for birth control he’s ever seen. It just kind of happens slowly and no one cares about this match. Bossman wins and they take Mountie to jail, in one of the dumbest things I’ve ever seen.

Rating: D. I can’t believe I liked this as a kid. The styles just didn’t mesh. Mountie was better when he wrestled as a light weight, not this. Boss Man was outliving his usefulness at this point, but that can be attributed to them never really giving him a serious push. This whole gimmick as just dumb and the match was even worse.

DiBiase is mad that he lost the title, which was stolen from him.

Hart is happy about winning the title.

Jimmy Hart is with the Natural Disasters and is FREAKING OUT over Mountie. This is a pretty funny bit from him. The Disasters want the LOD. That’s not a good idea.

Boss Man makes fun of the Mounite as we must be on an intermission.

Gene is talking to Savage who is nervous, so let’s plug his phone call thing.

Holy

Freaking

Goodness

They actually put the intermission clock on the screen! It’s 5 minutes of dead silence, with the Savage phone number on the screen. You can hear the crowd cheering something. Boy it would be fun to actually SEE what they’re cheering for wouldn’t it? This is freaking stupid. I’m sitting here for 5 minutes waiting on a clock to count down. Why in the world was this left on the home video? I don’t want to look at a countdown.

Right now I’d rather read a book or something like that. We would have had to pay for this back in the day. After turning off my Best of Starrcade DVD which is more interesting to look at the box of than this countdown, we come back…to the Summerslam logo! My goodness people wonder why no one bought wrestling PPVs back in the day. At least give us some promos or something. Is it really that hard to do?

We go straight to the jail, where Mountie is arriving. My goodness, WHY WASN’T THIS USED DURING THE BREAK? If you want to have a live intermission that’s cool but don’t waste the money of the people paying by making them watch a freaking clock. That’s just stupid. Yeah this isn’t funny.

The Nasty Boys are in the back and Jimmy is still losing it. This is going to be a street fight for the belts against the LOD. The champions leave but first, we go back the jail where Mountie is panicking over everything, this time being photographed which is apparently like taking his soul.

Gene is with the LOD who say this is right up their alley. This promo is more about the Natural Disasters than the title match they have next. But before that silly thing like a tag title match, we go back for more “comedy” as Mountie is offended by getting his fingerprints taken.

MORE promos as I’m just sick of these now. Slaughter and company say they’ll win. This is just freaking ridiculous as we’ve gone 20 minutes since the end of the last match.

Screw it I give up. Sid has to do a promo now since he’s the referee for the main event. Did we really need the 5 minute clock with all these promos? Was this intermission half an hour? We see a video of Sid being offered a spot with Slaughter’s team.

Tag Titles: Nasty Boys vs. Legion of Doom

What the heck, you mean you don’t want to interview the caterers? Like I said this is a street fight for the belts. It’s kind of funny hearing Gorilla have to play babysitter between the two commentators. LOD is WAY over. Piper says that stands for look out dummy. Actually I believe it stands for Legion of Doom there Roddy. Big brawl of course to start us off.

We talk about Sid a lot as the referee tries to get people to tag in and out. I will never get the point of that in a street fight. And after the first few minutes it becomes a regular tag match. Well sure why not. Hawk plays Ricky Morton in a weird casting decision. Sags hits a top rope elbow on Hawk for two as Animal saves.

Animal comes in off the fairly hot tag and yeah this is going to be dominance. The Nasties get in a helmet (Jimmy’s trademark with them for some reason) shot to Hawk which does nothing for the most part. Hawk hits both guys with it and the Device on Sags gives them their first WWF Tag Titles.

Rating: D. This was pretty weak for the most part. It started and ended fairly hot but the middle is just dull. It’s a tag team match for about 5 minutes and the rest is nothing at all. There’s nothing here worth anything other than the LOD getting their first tag titles which took them forever to get. Pretty weak here but it was quick. One thing though: did ANYONE not see the title change coming? Anyone? Nah I didn’t think so.

Uh oh. I think that crazy Mountie might be up to more hijinks. Let’s see what kind of shenanigans he’s gotten himself into this time, that little rascal. Oh look at this! That hilarious Mountie got put inside a cell! What kind of improbably circumstances could he find himself in there? Wait and see!

Survivor Series promo.

I.R.S. vs. Greg Valentine

Yep, it’s a filler on a show with a 5 minute intermission. I wonder if this qualifies for the worst booked show of all time. Valentine was completely done at this point and this was to do nothing but put over Irwin. Both guys here are great workers though so if you can ignore the stupidity of putting this on next to last after the ridiculous amount of filler we’ve already had, this could be a good match.

Apparently Roberts and Taker are in Madison Square Garden which is a huge deal. Yeah it’s not like those two could be on the card or something like that. Oh hey, did you hear that Mountie is in jail? Not sure if I made that clear, but Mountie is in jail for the night. About five minutes into this match, we address it. Remember what I said about this might be ok? I was wrong, this match sucks.

Valentine puts the figure four on him but he gets to the ropes without really selling it at all. He goes for it again and gets rolled up with a shoulder up and kicking out before the three, but I guess the referee says end this suckage now and I’ll buy you an Air Supply album. That’ll keep Valentine distracted for hours.

Rating: D+. I feel so bad for guys like this when the commentators aren’t the least bit interested in the match. At least give them something to work on. No one wanted to see this and it would have been better being much earlier in the show. It was pretty bad, but if the announcers had actually tried, it would have been at least watchable.

Hogan says to buy his PPV in the fall.

Hogan and Warrior are feeling patriotic apparently. The big problem with the whole Iraq storyline was this: the war had ended 6 months ago. There’s a running story/joke that Vince was hoping the war went until May so the main event of Mania would have made sense. Of course, since the writers were lazy even back then, which I believe the writers consisted of Vince back then, let’s just keep it going for another 6 months instead of having a real main event at Summerslam.

Slaughter/Mustafa/Adnan vs. Hogan/Warrior

Let me make this clear: no one cares. Sid is the referee instead of having him face Warrior in what could have been a big match, or a Warrior/Hogan vs. Slaughter rematch which also would have been an interesting match. Ok no it wouldn’t have been but it would have been a real main event. The world champion is in a freaking handicap match at Summerslam. This is so stupid. Let’s get this nonsense over with please.

In case you can’t tell, I freaking hate this show. The faces dominate early as the fans cheer and no one is surprised. The only interesting thing here is to watch Warrior as he knows it’s his last match. Nothing special from him as Hogan gets beaten down and has to get beaten up by a couple of 50 year olds. He even takes the camel clutch from the man he beat for the world title 7 and a half years ago. That’s just weird to think about.

Hulkamania was born less than 8 years before this. They actually acknowledge that he’s the Sheik which I didn’t remember them doing. Hogan makes his comeback and tags Warrior, who beats up the heels but then gets beaten down himself. My goodness where do they come up with this brilliant storytelling? I’ve never seen anything like it (tonight at least)!

Warrior with his comeback and then it’s a brawl, no one is interested, Warrior grabs a chair and chases the two near senior citizens to the back because he can’t beat them on his own where he’s promptly fired. Hogan uses some powder and pins Slaughter with Sid doing absolutely nothing of note the entire match. Posing ensues as Sid joins him. This was a BIG waste of time.

Rating: D. There is absolutely no thought in this match at all. It’s two faces against three heels. I don’t think there was any buildup, and if there was it’s not mentioned here. Hogan was about to drop the title to Taker in two months, and Taker isn’t even on the card.

There was a home video released where this same match happened, but Taker was in it instead of the old guy not named Iron Sheik. Now wouldn’t that have been better here? This was called the Match Made In Hell. That’s a perfect title, because it would be perfect in the 8th circle of eternal torment. Horrible match and I’m glad it’s over.

And one more time, we see the Mountie in jail, this time being hit on by a fat biker. See, it’s funny because the biker wants to screw Mountie. See why that’s funny? I want to make sure it’s known that this is designed to be a joke, because I don’t think they made it clear enough. That’s a bit risqué for 1991.

We get the whole promo of Savage proposing to Liz, as this is the match made in heaven. See what they did? Match made in heaven and its opposite? See how intelligent Vince was to imply one was good and one was bad? Oh yeah that’s awesome indeed. In case that’s not enough emotion for you, we get a 4 minute music video, highlighting their entire history. The thing at Mania was amazing stuff and for the simple reason of it was spontaneous. This is just overkill.

The wedding is of course in the middle of the ring, which is of course set up to look like a chapel. Savage comes out first, in his hat, which has a, I’m not making this up, two foot high feather on it. We even have stupid flower girls and ring bearers. Could this get any sappier? Liz comes out looking stunning of course as the only thing that’s appealing about the whole thing. They say I do and the show ends.

Now for the actual good part: the reception. This was a bonus on some versions of the tape that has some of the best comedy I’ve ever seen. We get the standard stuff: toast, first dance, cake, etc. One thing that’s funny here is Gene says Mr. and Mrs. Macho. Shouldn’t it be Mr. and Mrs. Savage? Now we get to the really good part, as they open their wedding gifts.

Savage opens one and finds a blender. “WE GOT A BLENDER!!!” For some reason this is just freaking hysterical to me. He sounds like he won the WWF Title or something. Anyway, they get some candlesticks to which Savage shouts that next time they should send money. Liz looks at him, wondering what’s this about next time. Savage turns back and yells KIDDING! Then it kicks off as Liz opens a box to find a King Cobra.

Taker appears out of nowhere and blasts Savage in the head with the urn. Did no one see the SEVEN FOOT TALL GUY IN ALL BLACK AND A COWBOY HAT??? Jake comes in with a snake handler’s glove and another snake, yet no one stopped him either. Sid comes in with a wooden chair to run them off as we end with me laughing my head off at it.

Overall Rating: D. This show sucked. It has ONE good match. The rest is bad comedy and a horrible main event. I literally couldn’t remember what the main event was at this show when I was trying to think of it the other day. That should happen at Judgment Day or something, not freaking SUMMERSLAM.

Half the show was dedicated to an unfunny angle that was a waste of time. There is one match that’s bringing this up to a D from an F-. Watch that, and that’s it. This might be the worst of the big four that I’ve ever seen, including WM 11.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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Summerslam 1990
Date: August 27, 1990
Location: Philadelphia Spectrum, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 19,304
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Roddy Piper

We open with a look at the fans coming into the arena and buying merchandise.

Now we get a traditional intro with Vince shouting about the double main event.

Rockers vs. Power and Glory

Post match Shawn finally gets into the ring but Marty covers his injured leg and takes a beating himself. Shawn is taken out on a stretcher.

Intercontinental Title: Mr. Perfect vs. Texas Tornado

Back in and Perfect hits a clothesline of his own and the necksnap has Tornado in trouble. Off to a sleeper on Tornado but he quickly makes the rope. Perfect tries slapping him in the face, but Tornado pulls him into a slingshot, sending Perfect head first into the post. The Claw hold and Tornado Punch are enough for the pin and the title.

Mean Gene is talking about Sapphire being nowhere in sight (remember that as it becomes important later) when Hennig and Brain come in and say Tornado cheated by sending Perfect into the post. Heenan swears, yes SWEARS I SAY, that the shoulder was up at two.

Sapphire vs. Sensational Sherri

Warlord vs. Tito Santana

Ad for Survivor Series. That show SUCKED.

Tag Titles: Hart Foundation vs. Demolition

During the break between falls, Demolition knocks Bret to the floor, allowing Ax to run down and sneak under the ring. The third fall starts with Bret getting two off a sunset flip before taking Smash down by the leg. Neidhart picks Bret up for the reverse powerslam for two on Smash. Now things get tricky as Smash rolls to the floor and rolls under the ring, switching places with Ax.

Demolition wants to get their hands on the LOD.

Jake Roberts vs. Bad News Brown

Demolition yells a lot.

Gene sees Sapphire go into a dressing room and lock the door behind her.

Orient Express vs. Nikolai Volkoff/Jim Duggan

Dusty Rhodes vs. Randy Savage

Hulk Hogan vs. Earthquake

Bravo gets in some cheap shots on the floor but Earthquake misses an elbow drop back inside. Hogan finally gets to his feet (sidenote: Roddy Piper should not be allowed to cheer for Hogan. Ever.) but falls back down on a slam attempt. Off to a bearhug by Earthquake as the match slows down. Hulk punches out of it and tries a cross body like a schnook, earning the powerslam he gets as a result. Earthquake drops a pair of Earthquake splashes (seated sentons) but Hogan gets up at two to shock the crowd.

Rating: B-. The match itself was nothing of note but this is exactly what the fans wanted to see other than Hogan getting a pin. These two feuded on the house show circuit for the next four months or so, which really is amazing when you consider how basic the angle was that set it up. This falls into the fun category which is fine for a show like this.

Post match Quake chokes Hogan until Bossman blasts him in the back with a STEPLADDER. Quake finally drops him and looks at Bossman so the cop pulls out the nightstick to chase them off. Lots of posing ensues as you can see the house show rematches with any combination of these four guys being made up.

Vince and Roddy talk about Hogan vs. Earthquake happening again.

WWF World Title: Ultimate Warrior vs. Rick Rude

In a cage where you can win by pin or escape. Rude tries to block Warrior from getting into the cage so Warrior knocks him off the top and down into the ring. The champion finally comes in with a top rope ax handle smash and throws Rude into the cage. Rick goes into the cage a few more times but ducks a charge to send Warrior face first into the bars. Rude kicks Warrior away but jumps off the top to put him down again instead of climbing out.

Rating: D. This match sucked and the ending was exactly what people expected. These two had a match on SNME a month earlier and maybe Rude should have taken the title there to give it back to Warrior here. There was nothing of interest here and Warrior never seemed to be in any real danger due to Rude not going for a cover or trying to escape.

Ratings Comparison

Rockers vs. Power and Glory

Original: B-

Redo: C-

Texas Tornado vs. Mr. Perfect

Original: B

Redo: D+

Sapphire vs. Sensational Sherri

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Warlord vs. Tito Santana

Original: C+

Redo: D+

Hart Foundation vs. Demolition

Original: A+

Redo: B

Jake Roberts vs. Bad News Brown

Original: C-

Redo: D+

Nikolai Volkoff/Jim Duggan vs. Orient Express

Original: D+

Redo: N/A

Randy Savage vs. Dusty Rhodes

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Hulk Hogan vs. Earthquake

Original: B+

Redo: B-

Ultimate Warrior vs. Rick Rude

Original: C-

Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: A+

Redo: C+

Nostalgia is a powerful drug.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2010/12/12/summerslam-1990/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Summerslam 1990
Date: August 27, 1990
Location: Philadelphia Spectrum, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 19,304
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Roddy Piper

This is the first PPV that I ever had bought for me and we literally went through three copies of it as the tape itself was literally falling apart. As far as updates go, a few things have happened since we were last around for Summerslam. Ventura is gone which kind of sucks. For once, and this was very rare back then, Vince is handling commentary tonight.

Warrior won the title at Mania, having dropped the IC belt down to no one but Perfect won it in a tournament, becoming one of the best IC Champions of all time. Hogan has been out of action all summer after Earthquake beat him up, and tonight is his triumphant return to face the big man. Warrior is having a token title defense against Rude in a cage, in what would be Rude’s last match with the company before taking a year off before debuting as the Halloween Phantom in WCW a year later.

Finally, and this is actually the most important thing you’ll see, a mysterious person has been sending Sapphire very expensive gifts. It would turn out to be DiBiase, who would begin to feud with Rhodes, leading to November’s Survivor Series. At that show, DiBiase would bring in a mystery partner, who was from Death Valley. It blows my mind to think that matches this old were two months before his debut. He might have even been on some house shows at this point.  Let’s get to it.

Anyway, this show is going to have a lot of high grades for pure nostalgia for me, so expect a high overall rating as I know about half the commentary for the show despite having watched it once in about 15 years.

Before the show starts, the version I have comes with a bonus promo from Warrior, standing behind a cage wall. There’s no ring or other three walls. It’s just a single wall of a cage that the belt is handing from. Well of course he’s got a piece of a steel cage!

Don’t you have one sitting in your living room? Standard Warrior insanity here as the big deal was supposed to be that Rude has been in cage matches before but Warrior never has. Does anyone remember Rude in a cage match that meant anything?

In something completely random that’s an exclusive, we get Brother Love’s Summerslam picks. This is very weird as Gene says you can make your picks now, for the MONDAY night showing of Summerslam. Yes, back then, PPVs weren’t always on Mondays. On my tape (homemade), this is AFTER the IC Title match, which is weird because he makes a pick for that match. I put this here because it makes more sense here, but I don’t remember this at all.

It’s billed as a double main event, but it’s Hogan as the centerpiece as usual. Roddy on commentary is just weird but kind of cool at the same time, aside from his anti-Iraq line in the first 15 seconds. This is getting annoying as I’m quoting everything both guys are saying.

Rockers vs. Power and Glory

Shawn is legit hurt coming into this as you can see him limping to the ring. They play on that by having Hercules (Power) hit him in the knee with the chain, making this a handicap match. We start with Paul Roma (Glory, and somehow a future Horseman) against Jannetty. It’s a handicap match which is all it can be. They touch on Shawn’s knee injury as they knew about it coming in so they pretty much had to keep this short.

Almost a third of the match is the brawl where Shawn’s knee is hurt and then the rest is Jannetty fighting for all he’s worth, even hitting the top rope punch at one point. However, he of course falls to the suplex/splash combination and gets pinned rather easily. Shawn gets in after the match is over and they beat on him even more. He of course acts like he’s been shot and caught in a bear trap as he’s put on a stretcher and is carted out.

Rating: B-. Absolutely perfect for an opener. This was all over the place and you had to pay attention to keep up with it. It was fast, in your face, and not bad at all. While for a regular match it would have been horrible, the crowd was hot as always being a Philly crowd, and this got them very awake.

Now the IC Title match is up next and it was supposed to be Beefcake winning the belt from Perfect, but he had the famous parasailing accident that pretty much ended his career. That wasn’t mentioned but it was the case. Anyway, this rookie named The Texas Tornado, Kerry Von Erich took Beefcake’s place and he’s getting the match on about a week’s notice.

IC Title: Mr. Perfect vs. Texas Tornado

Before the match we get promos from both, with Perfect saying he’s perfect. Now we move on to Tornado’s promo, and for some reason I have always loved this one. There’s not much to it, but it just is great to me for some reason. He talks about how he’s going to touch down in the ring and destroy everything in his path, then take the IC title back into the clouds. Something about this is just sweet to me.

Maybe it’s that Von Erich was an amazing talent that sadly would be dead in three years. There’s a somewhat infamous glitch here as Hennig is wearing yellow and Von Erich is wearing yellow in his promo. However, when he comes to the ring he’s wearing white, so I guess they had him change in between. His music is completely awesome too. Yes, I think I’m a Von Erich mark. He’s even rocking the old school sequin robes.

You can tell they made a quick switch as he still had the yellow knee pads on. The crowd here is so ridiculously hot it’s hard to believe. The match itself is actually pretty short and very standard stuff. The crowd being as into it as they are and Hennig’s mind blowingly good selling makes it work though.

He gets Kerry in the corner and slaps him a bunch of times before Von Erich goes off on him, landing a slingshot into the corner which busts his head on the post. Claw hold and Tornado Punch follow for a title change! Afterwards, Hennig falls out of the ring (likely legitimately drunk) and Tornado celebrates as Piper makes fun of him.

Rating: B. This was just pure fun. Perfect was so hated it was unbelievable and Tornado had the skills already that he could make it look good too. That’s the beauty of bringing in a guy from a glorified indy fed: there’s no learning curve. He didn’t have to spend time working with no name guys and you could throw him into the fire, knowing you’d get something good. Great way to put him over here, and it worked like a charm.

Gene is supposed to talk to Sapphire but she’s nowhere in sign. I smell a show wide angle! Heenan runs in to complain about the Tornado breaking rules. Perfect and Hennan’s freaking out is absolutely great. He really did go insane as well as anyone ever did.

Sensational Sherri vs. Sapphire

Oh lord this isn’t going to be good. Sherri is at least good in the ring, but Sapphire? DANG , I saw one of her matches and it made Jackie vs. Trish from Raw in 03 look good (Yes I know it was a tag match so save your corrections). Sherri is in a mask and paint. I guess there’s a point to that. Sapphire doesn’t come out. The music starts again and a third time and no big fat blue rock. Sherri wins by count out. This was purely a way to play to the major angle later on.

Rating: N/A.

Dusty is in the back with Gene saying that something strange is going on. When I was a kid this always gave me chills. In a completely random cameo that becomes unintentional comedy, Dusty calls over Hacksaw Jim Duggan and asks if they’ve seen her. He says no but they’re still looking. Duggan leaves.

He’s on screen all of 6 seconds but it’s just so random that it made me laugh. Dusty talks about the gifts she’s been getting, which are ridiculously expensive. Somehow no one picked up on the fact that DiBiase hadn’t been seen in awhile and only he could afford this. Dusty really is great on the mic. There’s something about his delivery that just flows perfectly.

Tito Santana vs. Warlord

If there has ever been a guy that had all kinds of opportunities thrown to him but just never could pull it off, it’s Warlord. He had an awesome build, a great look, a cool name and he got multiple mini pushes. I think the problem might have been he was too different looking. Maybe it’s that he wasn’t great in the ring. For some reason though, nothing ever worked for him. He wasn’t lazy or annoying or anything like that.

Simply put, he just never caught on. He was a generic big man with muscles, and I’ve never really understood why he didn’t get at least a bit of a reaction. At the time, Tito was a complete and total jobber to the stars. He was in the middle of nothing at the time and was just out there to make people like Warlord look good. Santana would become El Matador soon and it would kind of revitalize his career but not that much.

He was always good for a solid performance though, so it was clear why he stayed around as long as he did. I think I’m starting to get why Warlord never did anything: he’s the most generic guy I’ve ever seen in my entire life as a fan. There is nothing about anything he does that stands out. There’s nothing of note here really, as Santana tries as hard as he can but Warlord hits the powerslam to win the match in the end.

Rating: C+. This is quite acceptable on all levels. It was meant to make Warlord look good and that’s what Santana did. That’s why people like Finlay and Regal have jobs: they can make young guns look good and be realistic threats at the same time. Talents like them are hard to come by which is why they rarely get let go.

Demolition is in the back, and Mooney is confused about why Crush is there. The idea is that the Harts don’t know which two members of Demolition they’re facing. Apparently it’s Smash and Crush tonight. At the time, Demolition is considered untouchable and while the Harts were known to be great, they were thought to be past their primes at this point and only together in name.

You know, they’re actually quite funny on the mics. They tease the showdown with the Legion of Doom, and my god, the collective orgasms that 80s wrestling fans would have had for that match at Mania for the belts would have flooded a small country.

Tag Titles: 2/3 Falls-Demolition vs. Hart Foundation

Norcal and I have called this the greatest tag team match of all time, and I’m still waiting on another to top it. It’s certainly the best gimmick tag match of all time, at least in my mind. Before the match, the Harts say they don’t care which members of Demolition they face. Anvil says he’s not paid to think. He’s paid to be tough like an anvil. That’s a great line.

As they give the promo about giving Demolition massive heart attacks, I’m watching CNN’s coverage of Michael Jackson’s heart attack, which kind of kills the mood. DANG the Harts were over. I’m getting chills watching this. We go about 4 seconds of Smash and Bret before we get a brawl. Anvil comes in and just levels them both, leading to Roddy asking Vince how he would like it if a guy like Anvil came up to him and asked for a date with his daughter.

That’s quite funny considering who Vince’s daughter would become to us. Imagine Neidhart getting the HHH hate. That would be freaking hilarious. I swear his beard has magical powers. Roddy is OUT THERE on commentary. Crush hits a big move and looks at the crowd. Roddy: “We ain’t looking for dairy products here, we’re fighting!” What in the world does that mean? Am I missing a joke here or something?

This match has one of the best flows to it that I’ve ever seen. For the most part, it’s back and forth the whole way with neither team ever truly dominating the other. That’s a very difficult thing to do but when it’s done right, you have a great match. Hart is still the best guy out there, but it’s not like he’s blowing them all away. Demolition were a great team even with the change of Crush, and Neidhart it the absolute perfect complement to Bret.

It’s power and speed vs. a lot pf power, which is a great combination as always. Eventually of course we get a brawl, leading to Jim being knocked to the floor and Bret taking Demolition’s finisher for the first fall. This is what I don’t like about 2/3 falls matches. Demolition just pinned the Harts clean, in a standard tag match, yet the Harts get two more chances at it? I get the stipulation changed the way the match works, but that’s always made me scratch my head.

We begin the second fall with Crush and Hart again, just like the end of the last one, as Hart sells like the master that he is. Piper says that Hart needs to get under his feet. Wouldn’t that mean having your feet in the air and sitting down?

The style of this fall is completely different as it’s Hart getting beaten down instead of a back and forth match, which works very well for psychology, as we get a great flow to the match, using Demolition’s finisher as the turning point of the match. Anvil finally gets a tag and just freaking kills Demolition. Easily the best I’ve ever seen him look as at that moment, he looked like he could have beaten just about anyone.

Bret gets back into it and the Hart Attack connects, but Crush, after missing his cue and having the referee save him, dives onto the referee, before picking him up and carrying him around the ring, which causes a DQ. DANG , after that kind of a save and he jumps the referee? Someone get that man a hot pretzel and a ham sandwich. He’s earned them. Crush should get a sandwich as well.

He was just giving the nice little man a hug for saving him on the blown spot. Shame the referee won’t open up his heart and let a little love in. The best part of this is Crush shaking his head, as if to say what did I do? It’s either bad acting or unintentional comedy, but either way it’s funny.

In between falls, Bret gets knocked to the floor. As Jim is looking at him, Ax comes down and hides under the ring. Now we get to the fun parts of this match, which is saying something as this has been great stuff so far.

So here we are now, one fall to a finish for the tag titles. We get down to a good old fashioned 80s style tag match and there’s absolutely nothing sweeter than this. It’s the Harts in control early with their powerslam/splash move, which despite having been used many times is still surprising to Vince. Geez how bad is this guy’s memory? He can’t remember how bad a lot of the stuff he puts on now is and he couldn’t remember stuff 19 years ago?

Anyway, Ax comes out from under the ring for the illegal switch and the Harts are in trouble all over again. Wow, who saw that coming? Did anyone ever have an issue telling Demolition apart? I certainly didn’t. Anvil keeps making save after save as Bret is looking like a human punching bag. As all this is happening, the fans are getting loud for some reason, and as we cut to the entry way, we see why: the most dominant team of all time, the LOD are here!

They pull Smash out from underneath the ring and break up another Demolisher (I know that’s not the name but screw it that’s what it should be called), leading to a slingshot shoulder block into a rollup to give the Harts the titles as the fans go nuts! The best part here is the Harts’ music not playing.

It makes you feel like it was a great shock and that the sound guy wasn’t sitting there waiting to press a button. I’ve always liked how Bret would kiss whatever belt he had at the time. It’s recaps a go-go as the music plays and the fans are going off.

Rating: A+. The fans wanted the Harts to win, they wanted Demolition to lose, and they got it in a SWEET style. This was a great tag match with all 5 guys in perfect flow the whole time. The Harts were the underdogs that we all wanted to cheer for and we got to do it. That’s exactly what the fans wanted and it made the fans happy. Couple that with GREAT wrestling and drama and you get a classic match. Norcal and I are right: this is the best tag team match ever, just for how much fun it is.

Promo for WM 7. My lord they messed this up. There were supposed to be 100,000 people. Naturally, this didn’t happen, so there was a bogus excuse to move the show to a smaller place. I love the promo though and could recite the phone number to you by heart.

The LOD are in the back, saying they still want a piece of Demolition, saying they’re the real big men. The Harts show up saying they’ll fight anyone. The emotion in their voices and the looks on their faces are absolutely perfect.

We go to Sean Mooney who is outside Demolition’s locker room, and he says all heck is breaking loose. I certainly don’t remember this much cursing on a 1990 PPV. I’m quite surprised at this. Apparently they’re mad at the LOD.

Gene is with Sherri, who is so proud of winning, and says she’s been hearing rumors about Sapphire.

Sean Mooney (DANG what are these backstage interviewers getting paid tonight?) is with Volkoff and Duggan, who are a tag team for no good reason. They’re going to win tonight apparently. We get a really bad pun about if their opponents are the Orient Express, this is the American Express, and don’t leave home without them. Dear lord just take me now.

Earthquake and Bravo are with the other interviewer along with Jimmy Hart. It’s a recap of the feud with Hogan and Quake.

Jake talks about snakes vs. rats.  While he’s doing this Damien the snake keeps wrapping around his neck and choking him.  To his credit Jake never stops talking.  This is about hunger or something.
Jake Roberts vs. Bad News Brown

Brown allegedly has over 200lbs of sewer rats but we never see them which is a good thing probably.  Yep Jake appears to be drunk.  Oh and Big Boss Man is the special referee.  No reason at all for it but who cares about logic?  Brown jumps him as the referee is on his way to the ring.  Brown takes over and goes for a cover with his foot on the chest.

Both guys go for their finishers which of course don’t connect this early on.  Brown grabs a chair and drills Jake in the stomach with it in front of Boss Man which is all cool apparently.  Jake gets sent into the corner and flashes a screw you sign as he goes down.  Classy dude there.  Brown goes for a middle rope punch but Jake gets out of the way.

Brown’s offense is different but cool.  Piper says something about oily heads and Arabs which Vince naturally ignores.  Brown pops him with the chair again and that’s the DQ.  That was rather anti-climactic but whatever.  He tries to drop a leg on Damien afterwards but Boss Man makes the save.  Roddy: you don’t want to hiss off any snakes.  Brown jumps him and Jake gets the snake out to run him off.

Rating: C-. This was fine and the fans popped for the DDT as always. For the life of me though, I don’t get why there needed to be a guest referee. He was going to be in the real main event later on, so what’s the point of having him here?

Gene is with Demolition, who says the Harts cheated. For the love of god, how did we never get Demolition vs. LOD? Seriously, this had to be the easiest lay up of a feud of all time, and we never got it.

Brother Love Show

There’s little point here. Love gets a medal from Sgt. Slaughter as we officially kick off he’s the next top heel in the Iraqi sympathizer angle that few cared about but some will say gave you one of the best Mania main events ever. He runs down Volkoff, which would lead to a match…in February I believe. This was just an odd angle that didn’t work for me due to the timing of it, as the war was over when this really got going.

Sean is with the Orient Express and Fuji who say Japan will win. This team was pretty much nothing until the masked one showed up and they started going to war with the Rockers. Those matches were freaking awesome to say the least.

Gene finds Sapphire but she goes into a locker room. She won’t talk to anyone.

Orient Express vs. Duggan/Voljoff

Pure filler here as there’s no point to this other than to further the US vs. Iraq storyline. The faces sing God Bless America as my ears bleed a bit. Duggan proves to be a patriot as this was what he’d always hit Nikolai for when it was the Soviet anthem. Now for your pop of the night (so far) Duggan says bless the troops in the Middle East. This is a very, and I do mean very, basic tag match as Volkoff gets beaten up and Duggan makes the big save after the tag and gets the pin off the three point clothesline.

Rating: D+. It was just so bland that it wasn’t any good. It was pure filler and nothing of note happens here. It wasn’t bad, just completely unnecessary.

Dusty is pounding on the door Sapphire went through but she won’t come out. He has to go to his match but he’s going to get to the bottom of this tonight.

Dusty Rhodes vs. Randy Savage

Savage is the king at this point so he’s feuding with the Common Man, Dusty Rhodes. That’s a perfect feud for both so for once they got something very right. Rhodes’ music is just awesome. He power walks to the ring as the man chest is bouncing big time tonight. Mooney is in the back standing on a ladder to talk to Savage who is on the throne. He also talks about the rumors that are going around which he still won’t reveal.

He does say that Sapphire is smart for not wanting to spend her life with a common man. Were Sapphire and Dusty supposed to be a couple? I never quite got that. Savage comes out on the throne.  I’ve always loved that entrance. How cool does it look? Savage fit this persona so well because he could back it up in the ring which isn’t something most kings could do. Savage was just so great back then.

Pomp and Circumstance fits the king gimmick so well too. Perfect match all around for him. Right as Savage gets in, you hear the best laugh of all time as DiBiase is on the stage, saying he’s going to prove everyone has a price.

Of course he’s the guy that’s been buying Sapphire everything and he puts it perfectly: “Who but the Million Dollar Man could afford to do it?” At the same time, everyone says a collective DUH! This is pure evil here and it supports my claim that he’s the greatest heel of all time. Sapphire comes out and takes a bag of money. Rhodes chases them but Savage stops him.

The match itself is about 2 minutes long and there’s nothing worth talking about. Savage starts in control, Rhodes fights back but doesn’t have the fire to do anything. However, Piper does mention that Sapphire didn’t want to be married to a common man all her life, so at least that’s some clarification. Sherri interferes and Rhodes takes a loaded purse to the head to end it.

Rating: N/A. This wasn’t about the match and at two minutes it’s not fair to give it a grade. For the angle, easy A though as this was just basic heel vs. face stuff, but given the performers, it was great.

Sean is in the garage as I wonder what kind of running shoes he has because he could be the fastest man on the planet given the exercise he’s had tonight. Virgil, DiBiase and Sapphire get into the limousine and leave as Rhodes chases them. Ok more like wobbles after them, but he goes down the driveway after them. However, he can’t catch them and I always got very sad about this. It was depressing to see him lose everything he had. In retrospect, this was a great angle.

Hulk Hogan vs. Earthquake

Quake comes to the ring with no real build. That’s rare to see anymore and I really like the way they’re doing it this way. After the heels are in the ring, Hogan and Boss Man are with Okerlund. Hogan says this is for Tugboat, who was the reason Hogan got the support that he did. Boss Man says the heels have the right to be served justice by Judge Hogan. Hogan compares himself to Washington and the Boss Man is Jefferson and it’s time to go!

Boss Man comes out first and the pop is so loud you can barely hear his music. For the love of goodness how loud is Hogan’s going to be? Yep, I’m deaf now. The roof gets blown off and you literally can’t understand what Fink says after Hogan comes through the curtain. All the standard Hogan stuff before we get going and the fans are so hot it’s insane. The wide shot here is awesome as it’s that little yellow thing that is causing the explosion.

Hogan should change his theme to Pac Man’s song. It’s the same idea: a yellow thing that is all over the place and at certain points is completely invincible. Sounds like it to me. Anyway, we get the bell and we’re up and running. They trade power displays and despite Hogan being announced at 302lbs, Vince thinks he’s at about 287, even though he looks exactly the same as he always has, if not a bit fat.

Very soon the two outside guys get involved and both should causes disqualifications but the referee lets it go for no apparent reason. Hogan, like an idiot, goes for a slam. Now he knows better than that. He’s WAY too healthy to do something like that. Why would he think he can do something that doesn’t go against any human sense? Come on Hulk you’re smarter than that. Wow I just said Hogan was smart. I’m working too hard I think.

Quake does a weird sequence where he goes to the top and then puts on a Boston Crab. More interference follows of course, leading to a Hogan comeback. Once again he goes for a slam and it doesn’t work, leading to the true signature Hogan match move: the sleepy hug! It must be sleepy since it needs so much rest. For some reason Hogan tries to grab at the referee and he rips his shirt. I don’t want to see Earl Hebner’s stomach, I truly don’t.

Hogan goes for a freaking cross body. Think about that for a second. That’s just weird to type let alone actually watch. Of course Hogan takes two Earthquakes before the power kickout. I love the way Earthquake hits the ropes. He just leans into them and it’s either great or lazy and I’m not sure which. Do I even need to explain what happens here?

Bravo gets the referee to prevent the pin after the leg drop though, allowing the true star of the match, the man that’s involved with Wrestleicious (ooo Wrestleicious baby!) to interfere before getting beaten up as well. At this point, it occurs to me that he and Hogan are the only two wrestlers involved in this match that are still alive. That’s a very sad thing to think of. Earthquake gets Hart thrown at him, which knocks him down.

So wait, Hogan jumping at him is an easy catch, but Hart knocks him down? Piper’s cheering for Hogan cracks me up as only in pro wrestling could you go from the feud they had to this kind of cheering in just a few years. On the floor, Hogan, in Phila-freaking-delphia of all places, slams Earthquake onto a table. This was over three years before Heyman even got to that city. I’m not even sure if Eastern Championship Wrestling was around yet.

The table doesn’t break and just falls over, but I wonder if this is what inspired ECW. There must be something in the water in that city. Seriously, what’s with the tables thing there? Anyway, Hogan wins by count out before jumping in the air like the end of a bad 80s movie. Come on now; give me some bad pop song as the shot freezes with him in the air pumping his fist. If that happened, I might have died of pure laughter. Post match…come on.

What do you think happens after the match? Actually, it’s not the most obvious answer. Quake completely no sells everything that’s just been done to him as he hits Hogan a few times and chokes him with Hogan lifted off the mat. Boss Man grabs a…I guess that’s supposed to be a chair but it looks more like a small ladder and blasts Quake a few times with it to no result.

The spinning of the nightstick of DOOM gets rid of the heels though so we can have our traditional music and posing. What made this posing thing so cool? It’s just him standing there showing off his muscles, which was odd because there were guys with bigger muscles in the company. I guess it’s just that Hogan is who he is and gets cheers for whatever he does. He could even put on a tutu and dance and it would get high ratings.

Scratch that as Mr. Nanny bombed. Hogan dances around the ring like a chicken which is something that’s going to haunt my dreams for a long, long time. As he poses Boss Man, who also was Hogan’s mortal enemy about a year ago, kind of strolls around the ring doing nothing. Piper reaffirms my faith in him as he says it was a hollow victory and that Boss Man deserves a lot of the credit.

Now I feel better as that’s the Piper I know and love. He’s right too. What did Hogan really prove? That along with another guy he can win with a count out and not get a pin like he normally would? Yeah that’s certainly a great victory.

Rating: B+. This was exactly what it was supposed to be: a chance for the fans to lose their minds over Hogan. It left the door open for the rematch later with Hogan having no rust so he can beat Quake on an even playing field, but that never came at least not on PPV. This definitely should have gone on last though as there’s no doubt that this is the real main event. I remember when I was a kid I hardly ever watched the cage match after this as it just didn’t mean anything to me.

Granted I wasn’t ever much of a Warrior guy after he stole my hero’s title back in April. Anyway, this was a very fun match but from a technical standpoint, kind of sloppy, which given who’s in this, what were you expecting? Fine all around though, so this was a very solid match.

We cut to the back and see Rude with Heenan and Mooney. Rude cuts a very good promo talking about how Rocky Balboa and life imitating art. This is either off a script or great. Heenan is clearly ad-libbing, but Rude I’m not sure on.

Rhodes is here now, talking about chasing down Sapphire but not being able to catch up to her. This is a great promo, talking about how he’s been crushed and he’s only got the fans left to shelter him. This is 80s style at its best. The more promos I hear from Dusty, the more impressed I am by him.

We cut again down to Lord Alfred Hayes, who is in front of the cage that is being built and talking about how the crew is trying to break their record for building a cage, which is kind of interesting but the only thing I can think of is who gives a about the cage being built? It’s kind of different and therefore kind of cool I guess. They talk about the way the cage is put together and the weight and dimensions. That’s actually quite cool.

We go BACK to Gene, who is talking with Hulk. I miss the interview centers at PPVs. Hogan is so juiced here it’s amazing. This is a promo that makes so little sense I don’t know where to start. Hogan beat Earthquake. Ok, that’s fine. However, he says he want to be #1 contender to the WWF Title. Again, nothing weird so far. He then says that if he’s not the #1 contender yet, he’ll beat Earthquake as many times as it takes until he’s the #1 contender.

What kind of sense does that make? If that’s the case, why not get Brooklyn Brawler and beat him 1000x until you’re named #1 contender? Hogan’s promos sometimes made less sense than Warrior’s. Also, he debuts the 4th demandment: Believe in yourself. He’s getting a new surfboard too. Hogan surfing is just funny.

Roddy and Vince kill more time, talking about the cage match as Roddy actually picks Rude to win it.

We cut to the back with Earthquake, Bravo and Hart screaming at Hogan and Bossman, saying that it’s not over. Actually it pretty much was. They hooked up at Survivor Series and a very, and I do mean very, brief encounter at the end of the 1991 Royal Rumble.

For the final (and it dang well better be) interview of the night, we go to the Warrior, who has a joke. What do Heenan/Rude have in common with the Liberty Bell? One is cracked and the other is a ding dong. While it’s not funny, it’s just out there to hear from Warrior. He’s literally snarling the whole time Gene is talking.

This is not at all surprising. He says he has an inalienable right to the WWF Champion, which is a line that I really like. He’s going through the Preamble to the Constitution, which is actually really good, and comes dangerously close to making sense.

WWF Title: Ultimate Warrior vs. Rick Rude

In a cage remember. This would be Rude’s last major and perhaps last period match in the WWF as he bailed for WCW, but didn’t show up for a year. I guess he was doing indy shows or something. This was odd as he had been insulting Boss Man’s mom, paving the way for a feud between the two of them. Crowd is trying to care but they’re just so worn out from the Hogan match that I guess the break due to building the cage was a great thing for them.

Rude won’t let Warrior into the cage which is kind of stupid. You can’t win until he’s inside, so let him in. They fight on the edge, with Warrior outside and Rude inside. This is a pretty slow paced cage match where the cage is just kind of an accessory. I’m pretty impartial to matches like these, as they can be good or pretty bad, but occasionally you get a great one like at Summerslam 94. This is a far cry from that, mainly because it’s only about 11 minutes long.

That’s a bit of time, but still far from enough to really be effective and show off what the cage can be like. Maybe they’re trying to protect Warrior as they know he’s not the best in matches like this, but maybe they were just low on time. Rude gets the neckbreaker blocked for about the 112th time by Warrior which is still something the announcers have never seen before. Does Vince ever watch a match?

Rude more or less dominates here and screws up huge as he goes to the very top of the cage while Warrior is down and just sits there. He hits a big punch and knocks Warrior silly, but dang man he could have built a whole new cage in the time he had up there. It made no sense and Piper is losing his mind over how stupid it was on Rude’s part. When Piper says you’re stupid, you’re stupid. What could possibly be stupider than that? HE DOES IT AGAIN!

Good grief no wonder he never won the world title. He was too stupid to do it I guess. Anyway, Rude gets knocked down and here comes the comeback that you all knew was coming. Rude stops it though which surprises me. They go back and forth until Heenan gets in somehow and gets beaten up. NOW we get the real comeback and you know the drill here.

Piper makes an interesting question: when Warrior does the pumping press slam motion, WHAT THE HECK DOES THAT MEAN??? Warrior gets the slam and the splash and climbs out, swiveling his hips as he leaves to keep the belt. He poses with the blue/purple belt by swinging it over his head. We plug Survivor Series one more time as we go off the air.

Rating: C-. Crowd just didn’t care after the Hogan match and the 10 minute wait to put up the cage. It was an ok match but absolutely nothing of note happened here. It was exactly what you would expect and no one thought Rude had a freaking prayer. This was ok, but that’s all.

Overall Rating: A-. It’s personal bias, but I freaking love this show. You get a pure classic in the tag title match, some GREAT promos all night, although too many promos in general, a show long story, a white hot crowd, and some nice chances to catch your breath with some filler and how do you not have an awesome show? That’s the thing about filler: it can be a great tool to have, but it’s so easy to go overboard with it and if that happens, you’re in real trouble because the fans are bored.

Feuds were begun and ended, stories were advanced, and the crowd went home happy. How does that not sound awesome? Definite recommendation as they nailed the formula here: have a big card without being as serious as Mania but treat it like Mania, if that makes sense.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Summerslam 1989
Date: August 28, 1989
Location: Meadowlands Arena, East Rutherford, New Jersey
Attendance: 20,000
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Jesse Ventura

We get an intro video similar to the opening of a regular TV show with various highlights and people enjoying the warm weather.

Hart Foundation vs. Brain Busters

Anvil completely no sells some chops to the chest and sends Tully into the buckle before bringing Bret back in. The fans are all over Heenan with a Weasel chant while Bret works on a hammerlock. Tully grabs a top wristlock but Bret bridges off the mat to escape and the Busters are sent to the outside. Back in and Bret wins a slugout with Tully but gets suckered into a chase with Blanchard making a blind tag to Arn who blasts Bret from behind.

Dusty Rhodes talks about how the man in the blue suede shoes told him he can dance better than the Honky Tonk Man. This is a bit of a step down from Hard Times.

Honky Tonk Man vs. Dusty Rhodes

Rating: D-. Who in the world thought this deserved ten minutes should be carried into the street and shot. Between the leg lock and the WAY too long chinlock, this could have been cut in half and nothing would have been lost. Honky was fine as a jobber to the stars at this point and he would maintain that position for months to come. This was way overbooked for what it was worth, but the fans loved Dusty which is the point of the match.

Honky asks someone to help him find the stage and wants to know where Priscilla is.

Demolition and King Hacksaw Jim Duggan are ready for their six man tag against the Twin Towers (Boss Man/Akeem) and Andre the Giant.

Mr. Perfect vs. Red Rooster

Survivor Series is coming.

The Rockers/Tito Santana vs. Fabulous Rougeau Brothers/Rick Martel

This should be awesome. Martel teases getting in there against Tito to start but sends Jacques in instead. As is his custom, Jacques requests a handshake but sneaks in some choking on Tito instead. The Rockers come in without tags and the good guys hit stereo dropkicks to send the French Canadians to the floor. Things settle down to Marty vs. Jacques with the latter going to the middle rope and head faking Marty, but Jannetty is faking the head fake and punches Jacques on the way down.

Martel tries to hide in the corner but gets caught in a huge backdrop to send him running even further. A dropkick and a suplex put Martel down and the top rope right hand gets two as everything breaks down. Tito hits the flying forearm to send Martel to the floor and Marty rolls up Jacques, only to have Martel slide back in and blast Jannetty with a right hand, giving Jacques the pin.

We recap Rude vs. Warrior. Rude attacked Warrior during a posedown at the Rumble before stealing the IC Title at Wrestlemania with help from Heenan. Tonight is the rematch with rude defending against a ticked off Warrior after Warrior spent months fighting through the Heenan Family. This was also used to set up Warrior vs. Andre the Giant over the winter.

Intercontinental Title: Ultimate Warrior vs. Rick Rude

Roddy Piper laughs about costing Rude the title, setting up his first feud after returning to the ring.

We go to an intermission, which is just a graphic with a countdown clock until the show continues.

Twin Towers/Andre the Giant vs. Demolition/Jim Duggan

Greg Valentine vs. Hercules

Post match Garvin announces Hercules as the winner, which apparently is good enough to get Valentine disqualified. Like I said, this is the time to turn your brain off.

Randy Savage, Zeus and Sister Sherri gather round a cauldron and predict bad futures for Hogan, Beefcake and Liz. The late 80s were weird in case you were wondering.

Ted DiBiase vs. Jimmy Snuka

A quick stun gun sends Snuka into the top rope and Ted can stomp away like a good 80s heel. DiBiase works on the back with knees to the spine and a backbreaker for no cover but a middle rope elbow misses. Jimmy slams Ted down and hits a middle rope headbutt but Virgil breaks up the Superfly Splash. Snuka chases him around on the floor but gets sent into the post by DiBiase for the countout.

Post match Snuka hits the Superfly on Virgil.

Genius recites a poem about Summerslam, saying he thinks Zeus and Savage (his real brother) will win.

Zeus/Randy Savage vs. Brutus Beefcake/Hulk Hogan

Ratings Comparison

Hart Foundation vs. Brain Busters

Original: B+

Redo: B

Honky Tonk Man vs. Dusty Rhodes

Original: F

Redo: D-

Mr. Perfect vs. Red Rooster

Original: C+

Redo: D

Rick Martel/Fabulous Rougeaus vs. Tito Santana/Rockers

Original: B+

Redo: B

Ultimate Warrior vs. Rick Rude

Original: A-

Redo: B

Jim Duggan/Demolition vs. Andre the Giant/Twin Towers

Original: C+

Redo: C

Hercules vs. Greg Valentine

Original: F-

Redo: D

Ted DiBiase vs. Jimmy Snuka

Original: D

Redo: D

Hulk Hogan/Brutus Beefcake vs. Randy Savage/Zeus

Original: B-

Redo: D+

Overall Rating

Original: B-

Redo: C+

About the same this time.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/07/23/history-of-summerslam-count-up-1989-gather-round-the-cauldron/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6