Royal Rumble Count-Up – 1988: When Being Petty Gives Us Free Shows
It’s January (or it will be when you read this) and that means it’s time for the Road to Wrestlemania to begin. That road starts with the Royal Rumble, which has a very long history to it which we’re going to get into every day for the next 27 days before we hit the 2015 edition. We’ll start with a brief intro into the background of the show and how it got started before moving into the show itself.
So back in late 1987, the NWA was going to start airing PPVs of their own with the first one being Starrcade on Thanksgiving night. Vince, ever the ball buster, decided to air his own show on that night called the Survivor Series, saying that whoever didn’t air his show wouldn’t get to air Wrestlemania. Most of the cable companies bailed on Crockett (NWA owner for all intents and purposes) and aired Survivor Series, but they told Vince to NEVER do that again.
This is where Vince got crafty: he couldn’t air a PPV on the night that Crockett was running his next PPV (Bunkhouse Stampede, which is one of the DUMBEST and most screwed up shows ever for a ton of reasons, including not even being able to get the freaking start time right), but he could run a free TV show on that night. Therefore, he got an idea from one Pat Patterson about a battle royal with timed entrances and a card around it. The idea is the Royal Rumble, and there have been twenty five of them so far. Let’s get to it.
Royal Rumble 1988 Date: January 24, 1988
Location: Copps Coliseum, Hamilton, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 18,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jesse Ventura
So as I said, this is the first of the Rumbles and it aired on live TV instead of on Pay Per View. The battle royal tonight is twenty men instead of thirty and we also have three other matches on the card on top of that. We also get a bench press demonstration from Dino Bravo (just go with it) and the contract signing for Hogan vs. Andre II at the first live Main Event which would happen in twelve days. In a KB related story, I would happen in about ten days. Let’s get to it.
Vince does the intro over what I thought was Rude’s music. Oh it was Rude’s music. No wonder they sounded alike.
Rick Rude vs. Ricky Steamboat
This should work well with a career face vs. a career heel. That’s another thing you never get anymore: matches for the sake of having a match. You know what? It could work today too. For the sake of simplicity, Rick will only be used for Rude and Ricky will only be used for Steamboat. Rude pounds away to start but Steamboat fires off chops in retaliation. Rude throws him over the top because he’s still new at this WWF thing. Steamboat skins the cat back in and throws Rude to the floor.
Steamboat does Rude’s pose and Rude complains of a pull of the tights. Back in and Rude wants a test of strength and Dragon, ever the slow one, accepts. Down goes Ricky but he finally hits a knee to the hand to break the grip, followed by a wicked spin out to take Rude to the mat. Steamboat cranks on the arm and does so for a good while. The crowd is pretty much quiet here, so we can hear the individual shouts from fans which give Vince and Jesse something to talk about.
Rude escapes but Steamboat chops him right back down and armdrags him down as only Ricky can do. An elbow puts Ricky down for a bit and Rick pounds away some more. Steamboat comes back with chops and another armdrag into an armbar. More slugging out occurs with chops vs. punches dominating the action. In something you don’t often see, Steamboat seems to botch a spot, resulting in him backing into a knee from Rude and falling (intentionally) to the floor.
Rick sends Steamboat back first into the apron and slams him down as Steamboat is in trouble. There’s a camel clutch by Rude as he finally has a body part to work on. Steamboat taps but that wouldn’t mean anything else for about six years. The referee checks the arm and they make a BIG error as Ricky lets his arm fall three times before stopping it on the fourth drop. Jesse FREAKS as only he can but the match just keeps going. Gotta love that live TV thing right?
Anyway Steamboat stands up and drops Rude on his back to put both guys down. It’s Steamboat up first but a splash hits knees. Back to the chinlock but Ricky makes the ropes and sends Rude into the buckle ten times. A chop to the face gets two and we hit the mat for some technical stuff and a pinfall reversal sequence. By that I mean about five pin attempts each and the crowd is waking up now. Ricky suplexes Rude down but Rude pulls the referee in the way of the cross body. Rude puts on the over the shoulder backbreaker (his move before the Rude Awakening) but it’s a DQ win for Steamboat.
Rating: C. The main issue here was the length. This runs about eighteen minutes and a lame ending didn’t help things either. At least you had two talented guys in there to make the match work a bit better. Still though, cut about five minutes off of this one and it’s WAY better all of a sudden. Steamboat would be gone in just a few months.
It’s time for the bench press lift record attempt. Dino Bravo is doing the lifting (in wrestling gear) and Jesse is spotting. Frenchy Martin, Dino’s manager, is here too. Dino presses 415 to start but first demands complete and utter silence. The 415lbs are easily lifted ten times. We’re going for over 700 by the end so this may take awhile. Next up is 505, which I believe is what Yokozuna weighed when he debuted. That one only goes up eight times as we’re at six minutes spent on this so far.
This time it’s going to be 555. Great this is going to take even more time now. Dino stops to yell at the fans a bit first and now we’re going to the lifting. This one gets about seven reps as this continues to take time. Now it’s 595. They keep talking about a world record, even though there’s no official there to confirm this is happening or anything like that. Wait let’s yell at the fans some more before he lifts it three times. We’re at ten minutes now.
Jesse yells at McMahon a bit and Bravo takes forever to do 655. Gene doing the used car salesman selling of this segment helps a bit due to how over the top and ridiculous it is. Now they go for 715, but the record would be unofficial because the bar will have to be weighed later. We stop to yell at the fans of course first though and storms off. As Bravo goes to finish, Ventura reaches down and pulls the bar up. Yep, that’s the actual payoff of over fifteen minutes of this nonsense.
Women’s Tag Titles: Jumping Bomb Angels vs. Glamour Girls
These are real titles (held by the Glamour Girls at this point) which have perhaps the most confusing history ever, as the belts were literally bought and sold between two wrestling companies. Anyway, they’re here now and the Angels (Tateno and Yamazaki) beat the Glamour Girls (Judy Martin and Lelani Kai) in the finals of the Survivor Series match which basically set this up. This is also 2/3 falls.
I’m not entirely sure which is which on both teams but Vince doesn’t even know the names of the Angels at all until someone tells him later on. The Angels immediately charge at the Girls and hit stereo dropkicks to take over. For those of you unfamiliar with the Angels, basically imagine the Hardys before they became poster children for what drugs can do to you but with long hair and wearing one piece female swimsuits.
We start with Kai vs. Yamazaki (the one in pink. Got it) and a knee to the back from Martin gives the Girls control. Yamazaki Matrixes out of a cover and rolls Kai up for two. Off to Tateno for a kind of suplex out of a piledriver position for one. Jesse asks Vince the names of the Bomb Angels and Vince has NO idea. He suggests calling them pink and red. Yamazaki tries a cross body but it literally bounces off the shall we say rotund Martin.
Off to Kai again so Yamazaki knees her down before bring Tateno back in. Both Angels fire off forearms to take Kai down and there’s an Octopus Hold (a freaky kind of abdominal stretch from Japan) from Tateno. The Angels put on stereo figure fours before it gets down to just Tateno on Kai. There’s a legdrop between the legs ala Jeff Hardy but instead Tateno spreads her own legs to spread Kai’s into the splits as well.
Yamazaki hooks something like a Sharpshooter while being off to the side of Kai. That’s incredibly painful looking and I don’t think I’ve ever seen it otherwise. The Angels get in a tug of war over Kai with Martin losing the war. Martin makes a tag but it doesn’t count because her feet weren’t on the apron. There’s a rule you never see enforced. Not that it matters as there’s the regular tag anyway. Martin comes in and beats on Tateno a bit before hitting a falling backwards facedrop out of a powerbomb position for the first fall. Big Show called that the Alley Oop if it wasn’t clear.
Martin pounds on Tateno after the break but Tateno bridges out in the Matrix move from the mat. Martin misses a splash and there’s Yamazaki again. A middle rope clothesline puts Martin down for two as Vince knows the Angels’ names now. The Angels cause some heel miscommunication but Martin loads up the same move that won her the first fall. In a classic example of PSYCHOLOGY, Tateno rolls through it into a sunset flip for the second fall this time. See? She LEARNED over the course of the match. That shows thinking, which is psychology! It’s not that hard! She slipped a bit on the flip but I’ll forgive it this time.
The third fall begins with a double clothesline from the Angels for two on Kai but Lelani pounds away on her in retaliation. Off to Martin who blocks a fisherman’s suplex and escapes a backslide out of the corner. A slingshot sends Yamazaki into the wrong corner and double teaming gets two on her.
Off to Tateno who is thrown around even more than Yamazaki was. Tateno comes back with a pair of release atomic drops minus the knees and it’s off to Yamazaki for a top rope knee for two. A double underhook suplex gets two on Kai but a senton backsplash misses for Tateno. With Kai trying to get in, the Angels hit stereo missile dropkicks on Martin for the pin and the titles.
Rating: B. For the late 80s and women’s wrestling, this was off the charts. The Angels are every bit as good as any male cruiserweight not named Mysterio you’ll ever see and when they’re against people like the Girls, their skills are shown off even better. This was beyond state of the art for this time period and is still amazing today. Check these chicks out and you won’t be disappointed.
We recap Hogan vs. Andre at Wrestlemania by getting the opening minute or so which saw Hogan trying the slam and Andre getting a “controversial” two count. Andre wants a rematch and has been sold to DiBiase, who wants to buy the world title. Andre showed how evil he was by attacking Hogan on SNME and easily choking him down, setting up the rematch in about two weeks and a match which drew an INSANE 15 rating on LIVE national TV on NBC. Today Vince would lose his mind at a 5 on cable, so this was unthinkable back then.
Oh and now we get the contract signing between Andre and Hogan on tonight’s show for the match on February 5 in Indianapolis. DiBiase is here too as Jesse points out how stupid the fans are for cheering for a song called Real American here in Canada. Even Jack Tunney is here. For those of you unfamiliar, picture Johnny Ace if he wasn’t dripping with charisma.
Gene actually calls Andre Mr. Roussimoff here, which you NEVER hear on WWF TV. Andre won’t sit down and then he won’t sign. Hogan signs but Andre wants to read the whole thing first. One thing to note: Gene has probably said the date of the match about ten times. It’s so simple yet so effective. Andre signs and beats up Hogan for fun to end this after a LONG time.
Jesse and Vince talk about the Rumble and say that if you go over the top, it doesn’t matter where your feet touch because you’re out. I’m assuming that means you have to hit the floor but it’s not exactly clear.
Royal Rumble
Okerlund explains the rules and the intervals are every two minutes here. If you don’t know the Rumble rules, you have no business reading this. It’s a battle royal, people come in every two minutes, there are 20 people in it (this year only) last man standing wins. #1 is Bret Hart and #2 is Tito Santana, and wouldn’t you know it their tag teams are feuding right now. I mean what are the odds?
They slug it out to start with no one having any kind of advantage. Bret finally takes him down and heads towards the rope as Butch Reed comes in at #3. This is a different kind of Rumble as heels don’t fight heels and faces don’t fight faces yet. They just kind of work together as you would expect them to. Tito is almost thrown out by Reed but he escapes and beats on both heels for a bit.
It’s Neidhart in at #4 as not a ton is happening so far in this match. This leaves Santana more or less down 3-1 and everyone pounds away on him. The clock is pretty lenient so far as there’s no way they’re going two minutes between each of these entrants. We get some slow triple teaming and after a choke on the ropes, here’s Jake Roberts in at #5 to quickly toss out Reed. We’ve got Roberts/Santana vs. the Hart Foundation which is quite the tag match when you think about it.
The Harts get beaten down and then thrown into each other but Neidhart breaks up the DDT. Bret piledrives Santana down and Harley Race is in at #6. The crowd is staying way into this which is a good sign for the future. Things kind of slow down a bit as the faces and heels beat on each other for a little while. Here’s Jim Brunzell at #7 to make it a six man tag for all intents and purposes.
Roberts goes EVIL by pulling on Neidhart’s beard. Only Reed has been eliminated so far. The good guys are in control at the moment with Race almost being thrown out. Here’s Sam Houston, Jake’s real life half brother, coming in at #8 to beat on everyone in sight. Well every heel at least. The Harts finally get together and throw out Santana to get us down to six people in the ring.
After about 90 seconds, here’s Danny Davis at #9. To be fair he’s barely a jobber so it’s not like this is going to give the heels any significant advantage. Oh wait he’s fighting Sam Houston so yeah, the heels are in control. Race gets caught in the ropes and Jake keeps knocking him back and forth in a funny bit. Davis tries to kick Jake and gets his leg caught, followed by a suplex from Roberts.
Danny escapes a DDT as we get Boris Zhukov at #10, maybe 80 seconds after Davis came in. Things continue to go slow as we’re trying to build up to a regular battle royal. Race goes after Boris in the first instance of heel vs. heel in this match. Race and Hart double team Brunzell for a bit as this continues to be slow. Don Muraco comes out as #11 but Nikolai Volkoff follows him out, apparently thinking he’s #11. Now there’s a story you don’t see that often but which could work.
Brunzell puts out Zhukov and apparently Nikolai is going to be #12 in a few moments. After way too long of nothing happening, Nikolai is officially #12. Brunzell is put to the apron but gets back in just as Race is eliminated by Muraco. We’ve got eight in there at the moment, which would be Hart, Neidhart, Roberts, Brunzell, Houston, Davis, Muraco and Volkoff. Race won’t leave ringside so as Duggan comes out at #13, he beats Race up on the way. This would lead to one of those so ridiculous it’s hilarious moments at the Slammys.
Duggan goes right after Neidhart because HE wants to be the Jim in this match. The place is way into him too so the crowd reaction is good. After maybe a minute here’s Ron Bass at #14. Volkoff dumps Brunzell as Jake and Neidhart collide. The clock gets even shorter as B. Brian Blair is #15. There are way too many people in the ring now. Everyone fights everyone as Hillbilly Jim is #16, and the fourth person in this match named Jim. He also dumps out Jim Neidhart to empty the ring a tiny bit.
Dino Bravo is #17 as Bass dumps Houston. Back to slow motion mode with everyone pounding on people near the ropes without really doing much. Ultimate Warrior (doesn’t mean anything yet) is #18 and Bret is FINALLY put out by Don Muraco. I timed this next one, and the One Man Gang comes out at #19, 53 seconds after Warrior. They’re not even trying here. Gang immediately pounds on Roberts so Warrior jumps on the big man’s back. This is WAY before he would have been able to slam him anyway.
Gang dumps Blair and Roberts in about ten seconds, which is the best thing that could happen in this match. The Junkyard Dog is #20, giving us a final group of Davis, Volkoff, Muraco, Bass, Hillbilly Jim, Dino Bravo, Ultimate Warrior, Gang, Duggan and Dog. Hillbilly and Gang hammer on each other as Duggan puts Volkoff out. Gang tosses Hillbilly as Bravo and Davis double team Duggan. This ends badly for Davis as Duggan dumps him to a BIG pop.
Bravo and Gang dump the Warrior as we’re down to six pretty quickly. Bass jumps the Dog and tosses him to get us down to five. Muraco dumps Bass and we have a final four of Muraco, Gang, Duggan and Bravo. Gang splashes Duggan in the corner, leaving Muraco to have to fight off both guys. He even takes Frenchy Martin down with a dropkick, only to have Gang clothesline him out to get us down to three.
Jim gets double teamed for awhile and Bravo drops an elbow on him. The same clothesline sequence the heels tried earlier backfires and Bravo gets clotheslined out. Duggan pounds on Gang in a Mid-South reunion but a single shot from Gang takes him down. Gang beats on him next to the ropes, so Duggan low bridges him to win the first Royal Rumble.
Rating: C+. This is one of those matches where the words “well, they tried” come to mind. That’s the best way to put this match: they didn’t really know what they were doing yet, but they tried. The lack of star power hurt this one as only Duggan and maybe Dog were big names here. It wouldn’t be until next year when the star power came into this and it became a main event thing. Still though, it’s certainly not a bad match and they would get better as time went on.
We recap (see? It even happened back then) the contract signing from earlier tonight.
Hogan is in the arena (in jeans, which is a weird image for some reason) and says that he wants Andre. Standard hype interview for a big match but it’s Hogan in the late 80s so you know it’s awesome.
Islanders vs. Young Stallions
Another 2/3 falls match here just to fill in the final part of the show. The Islanders have recently kidnapped Matilda and are recently back off suspension for returning the dog. Tama and Powers (It’s Haku/Tama vs. Jim Powers/Paul Roma) start things off and no one can get a real advantage in the early going. The Stallions beat on Tama a bit, with shots to the head for some reason, before it’s Haku in off the tag.
A cross body gets two for Roma and the Stallions work on the arm for awhile. Off to Tama who gets in like one shot before we cut to a camera angle from over the announcers shoulders. That’s a new one. Powers gets caught by a double headbutt and Haku hammers away on him some more. This continues to go nowhere so I think out of boredom it’s off to Roma vs. Tama.
Roma dropkicks Tama down but Haku low bridges Roma, sending him to the floor and injuring the knee. That’s good enough for a countout for the first fall and the Stallions take Roma to the dressing room to get his knee looked at. In other words, we need a reason to show the contract signing again and let Andre talk a bit. Just like Hogan, Andre doesn’t have much to say but it hypes up the Main Event.
Back to the match after the promo, the recap and a pair of breaks and it’s basically Powers in a handicap match now. You can see big gaps of seats where fans have left. For this one, I can’t say I blame them. Powers dropkicks him down and we hear about Giant-A-Mania from Jesse. Off to Tama who pounds away even more and kicks out of a small package at two. Tama’s jumping back elbow takes Powers down and it’s a little Samoan trash talk for good measure. Haku’s dropkick gets two and there’s a gutwrench suplex for two more.
It’s off to an abdominal stretch but Powers finally hiptosses out of it to get a breather. Haku misses a splash and things slow down again, but there’s no one for Powers to tag because of Roma’s knee injury. Roma finally tags himself in and Haku casually kicks the leg out to take over. Jesse wishes that was Vince’s knee because that’s the kind of guy he is. Tama puts on a half crab and the referee stops it.
Rating: D. This match is a victim of its spot on the card. The problem here is that everything else is done and this was the textbook definition of filler. It’s hard to care about something like this when there’s no story and no interest in this match, and on top of that it wasn’t even anything decent. This is one of those matches though where you can’t blame a lot of the problems on the wrestlers.
Jesse and Vince chat a bit about what we saw to end the show.
Overall Rating: C+. There’s one major thing to keep in mind about this show: it was on free TV. On PPV, this would have been bad, but to be fair they had no idea what they were going for here so anything good, which a lot of stuff on here was, was a surprise. This was a decent entry into the show, but they did WAY better next year when they had an idea what they were doing. Good first effort though.
As I did with the last series of reviews, I’ll be comparing the new ratings to the original ones and posting a link to the original review.
Ratings Comparison
Ricky Steamboat vs. Rick Rude
Original: C+
Redo: C
Jumping Bomb Angels vs. Glamour Girls
Original: B-
Redo: B
Royal Rumble
Original: C-
Redo: C+
Islanders vs. Young Stallions
Original: C-
Redo: D
Overall Rating
Original: C+
Redo: C+
This show hasn’t changed much other than a few tweaks here and there.
Reviewing the Review – Monday Night Raw: December 22, 2014
Last week’s show was the Christmas episode, which has been little more than a dull show with a big main event for years, but the common expectations seemed to be the greatest show of all time, because wrestling fans have short attention spans. Other than that though, Hogan is here as the guest host, Ho Ho Hogan. Let’s get to it.
Hogan opened things up as Santa Claus. I’m really hoping this is better than Santa With Muscles, which really was a disaster, even by Hulk movie standards. That being said, Hulk Hogan as Santa……might be the most amazing thing in the history of ever. Anyway, Hogan made some matches which we’ll get to later, but John Cena interrupted him for the big hero buddy shot.
Cena sang Let It Go. I’m going to pause to let you think about that for a few seconds now. Cena actually praised Rollins for beating him fair and square last week, which is a very cool line to hear. It’s a good rub for Seth because he did in fact win the match without breaking any rules. He wanted Rollins again tonight, so Seth came out for basically the exact same promo Cena has heard for a year or so: go away because it’s my time. Think about it: for the last year, what have you heard said to Cena besides that or “come to the dark side”? Rollins did his usual whining about the Authority and the obvious match was made for the opener.
The match was good as usual, with Cena winning via overcoming the odds. I’m fine with this, as Rollins got his big win the previous week. There isn’t much to say about this one, which is usually the case about good matches. Rollins losing isn’t a problem because a top star like John Cena shouldn’t be losing clean (or semi-clean) to almost anyone. Seth beat Cena last week with all the cheating and that’s all he ever needed to do.
Fandango beat Jack Swagger clean in about two minutes. This one was more annoying than anything else, but the more I think about it, the less there is to get mad about. At the end of the day, Fandango isn’t going to go anywhere. He’s a one idea character who has only gotten the attention he’s gotten because of how he speaks and the good looking women that dance with him. He isn’t going to become a big star or anything more than a midcarder because, barring changing a lot of things about him, he’s about reached his peak.
That brings us to Swagger, who does have room to grow, which is what got on my nerves about him losing. The more I think about it though, the less annoyed I am. Swagger may have room to grow, but he’s been so damaged over the last few years that there’s just no saving him, at least not without a major repackaging. The guy just isn’t going to get any better with this character because he’s been branded as a loser by the fans. That’s almost impossible to come back from and I don’t see it happening with him either.
R-Truth beat Adam Rose in less than a minute. Rose laid out the Bunny post match for what felt like his official heel turn.
Here’s the thing with Rose: he never should have been anything more than the modern day Godfather. He comes out to open a house show, talks about what a fun party this is, gets challenged by some low level heel (Titus, Slater, you get the idea), beats him in like two minutes and dances off while the crowd is fired up and ready to have a good time. That alone should have kept Rose employed for……oh I’d say three years at minimum.
But instead, they decided to give him a character, which hasn’t gone anywhere since it started. It seemed for a bit like they were focusing on the Bunny for awhile, but then that stopped being a thing for about a month and was seemingly dropped. Now no one cares about Rose and the guy that should have been one of the easiest opening acts ever has taken one of the dumbest heel turns I can remember in a long time. In other words, as usual, WWE doesn’t get the idea that some people have a spot and shouldn’t leave that spot no matter what.
Roman Reigns beat Big Show by countout in a quick match. This was just to set up their big showdown later in the future, even though I don’t know of many people who want to see it. People complain about Reigns not being ready, and this is a good example as to why. He’s being dragged down by this feud with Big Show that no one cares about, meaning he isn’t getting to grow.
Big Show continues to be this guy that is just thrown into main event level feuds without ever winning one, but in theory this is why they’ve had him look so dominant for so long recently. For some reason WWE thinks people care about Big Show, because so many people have responded to his recent efforts. The problem with him is simple: when you put EVERYONE over, putting someone else over doesn’t mean as much. Just ask Mick Foley or Chris Jericho.
Ambrose still wants to beat up Wyatt. They’ve reached the point where they’re fighting because they’ve been fighting for months and that’s rarely a good thing.
Natalya made Brie Bella tap out in the usual Bella match. I guess they’re trying to make Nikki the next big deal, but my goodness it’s not working. But hey, some unknown critic likes Total Divas so that’s something right?
In another match where the writers aren’t thinking, Goldust and Stardust lost to Los Matadores and El Torito. Let me repeat that: the heels lost a handicap match to the good guys. In wrestling, the idea behind a face, most of the time at least, is that he’s fighting an uphill battle. Austin was fighting McMahon’s money and power, Hogan was fighting the entire Heenan Family, Los Matadores and Torito were fighting with a three man to two advantage. It goes against the basic logic of wrestling and should have made Goldust and Stardust faces. I’m supposed to boo someone who lost in a disadvantage? That makes no sense.
Ziggler retained the Intercontinental Title over Luke Harper in the same match they’ve had half a dozen times now. I like the matches, but at the same time it’s really hard to care about something we’ve done that many times. Other than that, I didn’t like the spot where Harper no sold a superkick. That’s similar to the stuff from Japan that drives me crazy, though to be fair this was one time instead of five in a single match. At least it was only once, but I really hope that doesn’t become a thing in WWE.
Lana and Rusev were in Piper’s Pit until Ryback came out wearing a big bow. Piper was about as pointless of a cameo as I’ve ever seen here as he served no purpose other than to say he had a surprise for Rusev and bring out Ryback. He wasn’t even funny or serious to make it even less interesting.
Divas, bad match, moving on. The good girls won if you care for some reason.
Jimmy Uso and the Miz had the same match they’ve had a few times now. I still care about the story and want to see where it goes though, which is more than I can say about most of the things going on in WWE today. Nothing is going to matter until Naomi gets directly involved, and that needs to happen sooner rather than later.
The main event was another long match between Ambrose and Wyatt with Dean hammering on Bray for over twenty minutes before losing at the very end. They went with the Christmas presents idea here and opened up a bunch of weapons to make this a fun match. That being said, just like Ziggler vs. Harper, how many times can I sit here and watch these guys fight? The good thing is that Ambrose is still over, but that’s only going to last so long.
Overall Raw wasn’t nearly as bad as people say it was, but it’s still nothing all that great. The good stuff was good, but when they start dogging it with the filler that no one cares about, this show can fall down through a hole that it never recovers from. The three good matches more than carry it to a passing grade, but my goodness some of this stuff, mainly involving the Divas, was incredibly lame. They need to get to Rumble season, which has potential to be awesome, especially if Reigns isn’t a lock to win the whole thing. Acceptable, but still not great or even solid show this week.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
For my Christmas present to you, we’re looking at the strongest force in the universe: the Mega Powers.
The team got started when the Hart Foundation and Honky Tonk Man attacked Savage, causing Elizabeth to head to the back to get help. She picked Hulk Hogan for the save and the amazing handshake followed. Here they are in their first major tag match together, in the main event of Summerslam 1988.
Mega Powers vs. Mega Bucks
Jesse sends all three managers (Virgil, Heenan and Liz) to the floor but not to the back. He also makes the teams change corners for no apparent reason. Savage gets to fight Andre to start but it’s quickly off to DiBiase. He wants Hogan and gets both Hulk and an atomic drop into a right hand from Savage. Hogan pounds DiBiase as well and it’s off to Savage for some double elbows. A top rope ax handle gets two for Savage off a slow count from Ventura.
Andre comes in to beat Hogan down but Jesse is with Liz. Now the Giant comes in legally and sits on Hogan’s chest a few times before putting on a nerve hold. With DiBiase coming in sans tag, Andre chokes away with his singlet. Ted comes in legally for a near fall off a clothesline before dropping those trademark fists of his. Off to a chinlock which Gorilla swears is a choke. Hogan finally elbows his way out of the hold but a double clothesline puts both guys down.
The hot tag brings in Savage to pound away on DiBiase with right hands and a backdrop. A top rope ax handle puts DiBiase down again but Ted rams him into the top turnbuckle to change momentum again. DiBiase clotheslines Savage down and it’s off to Giant again. Andre sits on Savage in the corner which is a lot more devastating than it sounds. Back to DiBiase who gets two off a suplex. Ted goes up for a middle rope elbow, but Savage uses all of his flying elbow experience and rolls away.
Hulk comes in again off the real hot tag and cleans house on both Mega Bucks but Savage jumps into Andre’s boot. Hogan puts DiBiase in a sleeper but Andre makes the save with some headbutts. The Mega Powers are down, but Liz gets on the apron and in the most famous part of the match, takes off her skirt to reveal a bikini bottom and some nice legs. The distraction lets the Mega Powers do their big handshake and Hulk Up as one. A top rope ax handle to Andre, a flying elbow and legdrop to DiBiase later and things are pretty much done. Jesse only counts two, so Savage has to shove his hand down for the three.
Rating: B-. Much like the original Wrestlemania main event, there isn’t much to see here but it’s a fun match. It gave the fans exactly what they wanted and the Liz bit was a big surprise as she NEVER did anything sexual up to that point and rarely did after. Hogan and Savage were obviously going to win, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t a fun moment and a decent main event.
Then in the main event of Survivor Series 1988.
Team Mega Powers vs. Team Twin Towers
Hulk Hogan, Randy Savage, Koko B. Ware, Hillbilly Jim, Hercules
Big Bossman, Akeem, Ted DiBiase, Red Rooster, Haku
Savage is world champion and this is based on a tag team feud which would be blown off in a huge live match on February 3. Hogan comes out to his own theme music after his partners all used Savage’s. This is actually a plot point as the Mega Powers would explode because Savage thought Hogan was taking his spotlight. It’s a Wrestlemania rematch with Savage vs. DiBiase to start things off.
They knock each other down with DiBaise taking over in the corner. The champ comes back with right hands and a clothesline. Off to Hercules who is feuding with DiBiase as Ted had called Hercules a slave, prompting a face turn. Instead Herc gets the Red Rooster who doesn’t do well at all, which is the idea. Heenan said he could take anyone, even Rooster, to the top. Off to Koko who gets in a shot to Ware and it’s off to Akeem (One Man Gang).
Haku comes in with a chop but misses a legdrop and it’s back to Herc. I’m not sure why when you have Hogan and Savage on the apron but whatever. Now it’s off to Hogan and the place erupts. He takes Haku down and drops some elbows before bringing Hillbilly in for a quick main event opportunity. Akeem comes in and runs Jim over before bringing Rooster in. Even Gorilla found that stupid. Jim doesn’t do much to Rooster so here’s Koko instead.
Rooster rams Koko’s head into the buckle, but see, Koko is black so it doesn’t hurt. A missile dropkick gets two on Red and it’s off to Hogan. The big boot sets up Savage’s elbow and it’s 5-4. Hogan’s team has a massive in ring celebration while Bossman’s team hits the floor. Heenan rips into Rooster as we get Savage vs. Haku. Haku chokes on the ropes but Hogan makes a blind tag and, brace yourselves, actually loses a slugout!
Haku hits a nice dropkick but gets slammed down and it’s off to Herc. A suplex puts Hercules down and it’s off to Akeem. A splash misses and it’s off to Hillbilly who fires away with all he’s got. Jim’s big boot doesn’t take Akeem down and a clothesline floors Jim. The 747 (big splash) gets the pin and we’re tied up. Koko comes in and dropkicks Akeem in the back before wisely bringing in Hogan to do the heavy lifting.
Back to the world champ with a double ax to the head but they can’t knock Akeem down. Hercules pounds away a bit as does Koko with a dropkick only sending Akeem into the corner. Akeem shrugs it off and hits Koko once to take over. Off to Boss Man who hits his namesake slam to make it 4-3. It’s Hogan in now and this is the match everyone has been wanting to see.
Hogan pounds him into the corner and everyone left on Hogan’s team (Hogan, Savage, Hercules vs. Bossman, Akeem, DiBiase, Haku) gets in a shot. Hogan easily slams the then bigger Boss Man but he charges into a spinebuster. That looked really good too. Back to Akeem and the big men hit a double elbow to take Hulk down. Off to Haku who gets in some shots to the neck before tagging in Boss Man. I wonder why they’ve gone so long since having DiBiase in there.
Naturally as I say that he comes in and clotheslines Hogan down. A falling punch gets two but Hogan Hulks Up. Off to Hercules for some revenge and some hard clotheslines and punches. Virgil trips him up though and a school boy eliminates Hercules. It’s now 4-2 but Savage charges in and rolls up DiBiase to pin him within about ten seconds.
Haku comes in again but misses a headbutt, allowing Hogan to get the tag. Something like a superkick takes Hulk down and it’s back to Boss Man for some headbutts tot he back. Akeem comes in for his usual shots before it’s back to Haku again, who suplexes Hulk for two. It’s nerve hold time followed by the Boss Man Slam for no cover. Instead Boss Man goes up and misses a splash.
The hot tag brings in Savage who cleans house. Slick trips Randy up and things slow down again. Boss Man puts on a bearhug as Slick goes after Liz, grabbing her by the arm. Hulk makes the save and DRILLS Slick with a right hand. The Towers go to handcuff Hogan to the rope but Boss Man gets counted out in the process. Boss Man beats on Hogan with the nightstick and then goes to beat on Savage. Akeem helps with that, drawing a DQ for himself and getting us down to Hogan and Savage vs. Haku.
Hogan is still cuffed to the rope though so it’s basically a one on one match. Haku beats on Savage as the camera is on the Towers leaving. Slick has the keys and is taunting Hogan with them. Savage holds the rope and avoids a kick but there’s no Hogan to tag. Haku accidentally superkicks Slick and Liz raids his pocket to get the key. Hogan is freed and Haku hits a top rope splash for two. Hot tag to Hogan and since it’s 1988, you can fill in the ending for yourself.
Rating: C+. While not great, this was better than the previous match to be sure. This would be part of the Mega Powers Exploding, as Savage would be jealous of Hogan for getting the glory and not being there for him earlier in the match. It’s no classic or anything, but 80s Hogan is always fun.
This led to the big showdown at the second Main Event. The story here though is the post match promo, which I’ll throw in as a bonus.
Twin Towers vs. Mega Powers
This is an hour long show and the match is over twenty minutes long so if you didn’t get the idea, this is the only reason to watch this show. After the Towers get to the ring, we get a video about Hogan and Savage. This isn’t your typical video however. This is set to a WAY too upbeat song called You’re A Friend Of Mine by Clarence Clemens Jackson Browne. Look it up and picture a highlight package of Hogan and Savage. It looks like the intro to a REALLY bad sitcom. I can’t make this stuff up people.
Hogan and Savage say there is no issue with these three. The underlying theme here is that Hogan allegedly loves Liz but Hogan insists it’s just like a brother and sister. In short, this became about Hogan which Savage didn’t like which has to be at least half legitimate. Everyone talks a lot here and hey now let’s have a match.
Boss Man starts and Savage and Hogan both want to start for their team. Boss Man wants Hogan so Savage can’t get his way again. Hogan looks especially orange tonight. The heels are cleared out by Super Hogan alone and the fans are WAY into it. The little things in this match like Savage wearing Hogan’s colors with the words Mega Powers written on them but Hogan wearing his usual gear is very well done.
Akeem comes in and here’s Savage to meet him. Oh wait never mind Hogan needs to come back in. He even comes off the second rope to work on the arm a bit. Boss Man hits a Piledriver and Hogan does his fish out of water dance on the mat. I’m not sure if it looks more like that or a steak being grilled. One or the other. Jesse points out that Hogan is hogging the ring time and he’s absolutely right at this point.
Slick gets involved so Savage drills him in the face. Spinebuster which is unnamed at this point gets two. Savage finally comes in this has been ALL Mega Powers. Top rope cross body puts Akeem down but Slick gets a shot in to take down the Macho Man and momentum shifts. Savage is still world champion here if I didn’t mention that and you’re not familiar with this era.
And now we get to the meat of this show. Akeem throws Savage to the floor and he wipes Elizabeth out, landing right on top of her (lucky). She’s GONE and Hogan goes to try to help her which ticks Savage off for some reason. “Oh no the woman I love is getting helped after I was incapacitated! SCREW THAT!” Hogan carries Liz to the back in as dramatic a fashion as possible. He leaves with her as they check her out.
We get the other fun part of this as Hogan’s acting is at its peak here. Keep in mind we stay on Hogan and Liz for like 3 minutes with ZERO talk of what’s going on in the ring. Back from a break we get a bumper of the match and now back to General Wrestling Hospital. Hogan keeps saying thank God and making weird noises. I don’t have the video up as I’m typing here and the sounds are just disturbing. Leaving out the word God it’s God Elizabeth God Elizabeth and random moaning and groaning and breathing sounds.
FINALLY he realizes he’s left his partner for like ten minutes against two monsters so he comes back for the save and the glory. Oh but instead of like, I don’t know, GETTING IN THE RING and beating the tar out of one of the guys and helping Savage, he gets on the apron and grabs the tag rope. Savage continues to do all of the work and beats up Boss Man but won’t tag Hogan.
Savage slaps Hogan nice and hard and leaves him. Serves the bald pest right too. Macho stands on the floor and then leaves with his belt. For once Hogan has absolutely no one to blame but himself here. More on that later though. Air Africa (Akeem’s splash) hits Hogan, he Hulks Up, Boss Man apparently asks Slick if he knows where he can find a good turkey on rye as he pays NO attention to what’s going on and Hogan gets the pin.
Rating: C. Total angle here with a match as the backdrop but this was a big deal to put it mildly. This would be like Orton turning on Cena when they had been best friends for like a year. The match is just ok but that’s all it needed to be. Hogan’s hammy acting aside, this was perfectly fine for what it was.
Hogan goes to the back where Savage is losing his mind, talking about how the champion is supposed to be #1 to Liz who is laying on the table with apparently NO ONE checking on her at all. We now get the greatest promo of Savage’s career as he just goes off on Hogan, ranting and raving about how Hogan has stolen the spotlight from him since day one and how if Hogan wanted a title shot all Hogan had to do was ask and he would have beaten him 1-2-3.
He talks about how Hogan is jealous and lusting after Liz before DRILLING with the belt and beating the living heck out of Hogan in probably the biggest heel turn in company history at the time. I’d put it ahead of Andre as it was on a bigger stage and Savage’s promo was better.
Beefcake comes in for the save and Savage just ends him with like two shots, showing how worthless he was at the time. Savage leaves Hogan laying. Totally AWESOME segment and one of the best promos that I can ever remember anywhere with Savage letting out a year of frustration and paranoia all on Hogan with everything he said making perfect sense for once. Great segment and well worth checking out.
The team would split up for about six years after this, not reuniting until Clash of the Champions XXX in 1995. This match has one of the most amazing ideas you’ll ever see in wrestling.
Kevin Sullivan/Butcher vs. Hulk Hogan/Randy Savage
Vader gets in Hogan’s face during the entrances and Flair is back in his seat. Hogan throws Butcher into the corner to start and a running clothesline puts him on the mat. Savage comes in off the top with an ax handle to Butcher’s head before bringing Sullivan in for a beating as well. Back to Hogan as we look over Vader’s shoulder. Hulk runs over Butcher but gets caught in the sleeper. Savage tries to make the save twice in a row but Hogan is out cold.
Butcher lets go so Savage tries to wake Hogan up to no avail. With nothing else to do, Savage goes to the top and drops his signature elbow drop, causing Hogan to Hulk Up as he does every time he gets hit with a finishing move. It makes sense in that twisted wrestling logic. I mean….how freaking brilliant is that when you really think about it? Hogan fights back as everything breaks down with Savage being thrown over the top rope and out to the floor. Sullivan sends Randy into the post and then the barricade as the villains take over.
Savage takes a beating from both guys and is thrown to the floor again. He gets up quickly but can barely stay on his feet. Back in and Savage is tied up in the Tree of Woe (hanging upside down in the corner), drawing in Hogan for a failed save attempt. Butcher puts Savage in the sleeper but Randy breaks out with a jawbreaker. Hogan gets the hot tag and cleans house before Savage drops the elbow on Butcher. The legdrop is enough to get the pin.
Rating: D+. There wasn’t much to this one. The match felt like any other Hogan vs. monsters match but the monsters were Kevin Sullivan and the Butcher. At the end of the day, Hogan vs. someone smaller than him very rarely works and these two just weren’t going to cut it. The Reviving Elbow was a stroke of brilliance though.
Here’s a major showdown at Slamboree 1995.
Hulk Hogan/Randy Savage vs. Ric Flair/Vader
Hmm, Flair and Hogan in a big match. I wonder what’s going to happen in the end. I have no idea why I’m bothering to watch this as the ending is as obvious as physically possible. Bischoff makes sure to point out that the fans came to see Hogan. He ignores the other probably 15 world titles in the ring, not to mention everyone else on the card. Renegade of course gets his own entrance, being the least talented of the 6.
Anderson has to pretend to be afraid of him and this is just stupid. Vader and Hogan start us off here. Vader would be gone in a few months to WWF to be replaced by the returning Luger. The faces are completely dominating here. Flair cheats to take over as you can see why this match means nothing at all: the match means nothing at all. It’s a tag match that proves nothing either way. Hogan will still be champion no matter what so why would I want to see this match? That makes no sense at all.
Oh look Hogan is beating up Flair. That’s a relief. For a minute there I thought WCW might be doing something new. I couldn’t handle that! The heels finally take over for a bit here. Oh and there was an appearance of a guy that we couldn’t see clearly. He would become known as the Giant, or later on as he’s known now, the Big Show.
They very kind of imply that he looks like Andre, which would be where they went with it. Vader screws up and shoves the referee across the ring. Naturally since that’s not the finish though he lets it go. The Vader Bomb hits but we have no cover. One from the top misses though and both he and Hogan are down. Yep still not interesting. Oh and Hogan might have died had that top rope Bomb hit. Did Savage vs. Vader ever happen?
That could have been decent. Flair gets slammed off the top for the second time in the match. That can’t be fun. Arn interferes to let the heels take over again. Renegade is fierce apparently. The moonsault hits on Savage and as Hogan makes the save he kicks out anyway. Just a reminder: Angelo Poffo is IN THE HALL OF FAME.
Hogan gets the hot tag and of course, beats the tar out of Flair. After a melee and some botched interference from Anderson, say it with me, HOGAN PINS FLAIR!!! The heels beat up Savage afterwards and then they beat up Angelo Poffo to the shock of no one as no one cares. Savage vs. Flair was the main event of the Great American Bash.
Rating: C+. Not bad I guess. It’s your standard main event tag match with nothing on the line which I never like at all. It was your run of the mill stuff with the heels beating down the faces for a good while until the heels mess up. Nothing too hardcore but nothing bad either.
Time for WarGames at Fall Brawl 1995.
WarGames: Hulkamaniacs vs. Dungeon of Doom
Dungeon: Meng, Kamala, Shark, Zodiac
Hulkamaniacs: Hulk Hogan, Lex Luger, Sting, Randy Savage
Gee, thing it’s one sided enough??? Luger replaced Vader who jumped to WWF a week earlier. They say a stipulation has been added where if Team Hogan wins, he gets 5 minutes with the Taskmaster in the cage tonight. They announced that earlier but maybe the crowd didn’t know yet. Now remember, we have Hogan, Luger, Sting and Savage, a WCW All-Star team vs. Kamala, Haku, Brutus Beefcake and Earthquake. Yeah this is a main event apparently.
Ok to be fair, this is the major feud in the company in their signature match so that makes sense. I have no issue there. I just don’t think this is the best they could do. Why not Flair and Anderson with two other guys? It would at least be more interesting. Sting and Shark start us off. More or less Sting massacres him as you would expect. Shark finally gets some offense in after Sting goes for a slam like the idiot he tended to be.
Sting is one of my favorites ever, but he did some DUMB stuff at times. In a funny spot, Shark goes to the end of one ring and after a running start, JUMPS OVER THE ROPE. However he doesn’t make it all the way as he gets stuck on the two sets of ropes over the gap in the rings. What a visual.
With 30 seconds to go before another guy comes in, Sting goes for the leg. With three seconds to go the Scorpion is on. The heels win the toss (naturally) and Zodiac comes in. In a cool spot, Sting grabs the top of the cage and pulls himself up and kicks Zodiac in the head. Sting does what he can but there is too much fat in there.
Savage comes in to tie it up. Like a crazy man he tries to suplex Shark. Are we really supposed to believe Sting and Savage can’t handle these two? The cage isn’t that great so Savage’s leg is hanging out of the cage and the heels are beating on it. His partners ignore him of course so there we are. Kamala comes in as it’s 3-2. Has Kamala ever won a big match? I don’t think so.
Luger makes it 3-3. There just isn’t much to say about this match as the periods are too short to really get anything going. Also the face team is so ridiculously stacked that there’s no drama whatsoever. Luger accidently hits Savage to attempt to give us some drama as Meng comes in to make it 4-3. Ok now why would Meng hit Luger there? Savage is using energy and hurting Luger so why stop him? The heels dominate for the rest of the period and here he is.
Hogan is the final guy in of course and he has powder. Not only does he have a far better roster of guys but he comes in and cheats. That’s Hogan for you I guess. Naturally he beats up the four guys more or less on his own when Sting, Luger and Savage combined couldn’t do it. That makes perfect sense right?
Heenan says this is like Bosnia. Even Tony stops him on that one. It’s just total domination here as you would expect. This is totally boring at this point as there is no way the heels are winning it. And Hogan gets a TERRIBLE camel clutch on Zodiac for the submission to win.
Rating: D. And that’s with an elevated rating due to it being WarGames. This was just AWFUL as it was so painfully boring. There was never any drama at all. I mean look at the rosters. Would you believe for a second that Hogan’s team was ever going to lose? Of course not and no one bought the heels as having a chance. It could have been worse I guess. Ok no it couldn’t be. One of the weakest WarGames ever.
Here’s a big showdown that could have made a fortune in the 80s, but we get it on Nitro, January 8, 1996.
Ric Flair/Arn Anderson vs. Randy Savage/Hulk Hogan
Lot of time left for this one too. Savage is wearing yellow and red and there are now pictures of Hogan on the floor in the aisle. Oh and this company doesn’t have has beens. They have the best in the world today. In WWF at this point it was Shawn Michaels rising to the top of the company. These jokes write themselves. Savage vs. Flair starts us off officially after a quick tag from Arn.
Flair is champion here and these two would eventually fight for the title at the PPV. Ok never mind as it’s Hogan vs. Flair starting out. Well why have Savage have a competitive match when we can have Flair get beaten up by Hogan? We get to a technical mat based style to start and of course Hogan wins that. A chop does nothing at all but a thumb to the eye of baldie takes him down.
The big boot takes Flair down again and here’s Arn so Hogan can beat up both of them on his own for awhile. Arn comes in as does Savage who of course has a bit more difficulty since he’s not Hogan after all. Double axe off the top gets two for Savage. After running away from Hogan for a bit Flair comes in and gets caught in a Figure Four by Savage. Hogan gets one on Anderson also as the Horsemen look like idiots already.
The Horsemen break up the holds with eye rakes as we take a break. Back with Savage in trouble in an abdominal stretch at the hands of Anderson. Savage gets his foot on the rope but Hogan makes sure to come in anyway to ensure that he gets credit for the save. Savage gets a quick sleeper but Anderson gets out with relative ease. The REAL Figure Four is blocked into a small package for two and then another one for two also.
Eric: Hogan is the freshest man in that ring right now and he wants in that ring. He’s on the apron when Eric says that of course. Flair knees Savage into Hogan and of course he beats up both guys on his own again. McMichael says the plan apparently was for Savage to take care of the Horsemen and then Hogan comes in and cleans house. I’ll let you figure out why that’s nauseating.
Anderson hits the spinebuster and Hogan of course pops up. This is getting sickening. The crowd isn’t popping for this stuff either. Hogan gets the boot and the legdrop for the pin but the Dungeon and the Horsemen run out for a big brawl as Giant beats up Hogan in the ring. Chokeslam for Savage too ends the show.
Rating: D+. Meh, it’s a main event tag match and Hogan gets to be praised and worshipped some more. What else is new really? This naturally was a way for Hogan to look dominant over everyone else and have them all be glorified cannon fodder before we set up the next match against Giant which SUCKED. Not horrible but it’s the same stuff we’ve seen for months now.
Here’s the setup for SuperBrawl VI at Clash of the Champions XXXII.
Randy Savage/Hulk Hogan vs. Ric Flair/The Giant
Savage has a bad arm coming in, which is an injury he had for months. Giant is called a legend despite having his first match about three months ago. Savage and Hogan have a line of women with them, including Woman and Elizabeth. Kevin Greene comes in before there’s any contact and gets down in a three point stance, sending Flair out side. Savage winds up starting with Flair and sends Ric outside where he eats a boot from Hogan.
Back inside and a slap sends Flair into the corner but he comes out with a thumb to the eye to take over. A big right hand sends Randy down but he grabs a backslide for two. The tag brings in Giant and he wants Hogan. Hulk gets a tag as well and Giant shoves him into the corner with ease. Giant easily shoulder blocks Hogan down and blocks a slam with a big forearm over the back. Hogan gets slammed though as the announcers talk about Andre the Giant vs. Hogan in 1987 without mentioning Wrestlemania.
A headbutt to the lower abdomen has Hulk in even more trouble and a backbreaker makes it even worse. Hulk avoids an elbow drop and actually gets the body slam. It hurts him more than Giant though and the bigger man is able to make the tag off to Flair. Ric scores with a suplex but Hogan pops up and takes Flair down with some clotheslines. Jimmy Hart distracts the referee and Giant takes Hulk to the floor for a bearhug. They head inside again and Hogan no sells the chops but runs into an elbow in the corner.
Flair goes up top and of course gets slammed off top, allowing for the tag to Savage. The fans don’t react in the slightest which can’t be a good sign. A top rope ax handle drops Flair and Savage hits the big elbow but Hart offers another distraction. He also throws Flair a foreign object, allowing Ric to knock Savage senseless for the pin.
Rating: C. The match was nothing special but it sets up another Flair vs. Savage match, presumably at SuperBrawl IV. Hogan vs. Giant was your usual stuff for Hulk fighting a monster but it was nice to see him get in trouble and not be able to just beat up Giant with ease. A double main event would seem likely for the pay per view.
Time for a six man tag with the Mega Powers lackey Brutus Beefcake as Booty Man. From Nitro, February 26, 1996.
Ric Flair/Kevin Sullivan/Arn Anderson vs. Booty Man/Hulk Hogan/Randy Savage
This is going to get a lot of time here. Big brawl right from the bell and the faces clear the ring of course. Arn wants time and doesn’t get it. He has to settle for a guy named Booty Man smacking him in the face. That’s your official starting pair and as they stare each other down, here comes Kimberly, the Diamond Doll, to stare at Booty Man. Who came up with that idea for a gimmick? I mean…..did Billy Gunn rip that off?
High Knee (get it?) sends Anderson to the corner as we’re spending a lot of time standing around. Booty Man beats up everyone as I think Anderson is still legal. Apparently not as it’s off to Flair. They can’t seem to go more than 10 seconds without pausing for something or other. Test of strength is won by Beefcake (that’s who it is if I didn’t mention that) as he’s been in there the entire time.
Off to Savage because Savage vs. Flair hasn’t been done in a whole week at this point. Savage clears the ring as apparently there’s no Nitro the next week. Good to know. Hogan comes in to beat on Flair because that’s what he does. This has bee a total wreck so far. A double big boot by Hogan and Billy Gunn’s inspiration gets two on Flair. The heels haven’t been in control yet.
Woman finally does something and grabs Savage’s leg to let Sullivan take over. Savage gets beaten on for a good while both in and out of the ring. He gets a shot in to take Kevin down and it’s back off to Booty Man. Not like Hogan should have to do anything you know. Booty Man sends everyone into Hogan’s boot and the leg drop ends Anderson.
Rating: D. Just a big mess here with the heels looking like idiots for the sake of another of Hogan’s buddies. Flair was world champion here but you’d never know it based on what he had to do every week for the sake of Hogan and company. Very weak main event all around and guess what the main event of the next show is?
From two weeks later on Nitro, March 11, 1996.
Hulk Hogan/Randy Savage/Booty Man vs. Kevin Sullivan/Arn Anderson/Ric Flair
Everyone will have straps that they can use here. There are also lumberjacks around the ring. Giant immediately grabs Hogan and the fight is on. Giant and Loch Ness mess up and hit each other so they get into a brawl of their own. That would be an ugly match at Uncensored. Every one is in the Foley flannel here. Booty Man and Sullivan are the only ones using the straps.
Kimberly comes down to stare at Beefcake/Booty Man. Egads. There don’t seem to be tags required in this. Flair tries to leave but Animal carries him back to the ring. This is more or less a riot instead of an actual match. There is absolutely nothing to say here as everything is all over the place. Hogan beats up some lumberjacks including DDP. Like I said, total mess here with nothing resembling a coherent match.
Flair and Hogan are FINALLY strapped together as Hogan still has a bad eye. No other pair is strapped together. Oh wait they’re not. They all have straps of their own. Shouldn’t that be something clear from the beginning? Big boot and leg drop to Flair out of nowhere end this. One of the biggest messes I’ve ever seen.
Rating: D-. This wasn’t even a match but rather just a mess. Was there a point to this at all? The lumberjacks barely paid attention to the match at all and just brawled the entire time. There was no way to tell what was going on and that’s not a good thing. Just an overbooked mess with no way of telling what happened at all. Not liking it at all.
One more brawl on Nitro, March 18, 1996.
Ric Flair/Kevin Sullivan vs. Randy Savage/Hulk Hogan
Naturally nothing Flair does works on Hogan because why in the world would we want the world champion to look impressive? Hogan puts a Macho Man foam hat on Flair’s head and beats on him even more. Eric points out that Hogan has already beaten everyone. That was basically the idea behind this match: we had no one left to face him so let’s just have him fight everyone at once. How well do you think this went over?
This has been mostly Hogan vs. Flair and remember they don’t have to tag here as it’s Texas (despite being in Tennessee) Tornado rules. We go split screen with both screens maybe filling in a quarter of the screen. You know, because we need a split screen for Savage alone pulling himself up. Eric keeps babbling about Dennis Rodman possibly being at Uncensored which of course he wasn’t at.
They switch off Flair takes Savage down. That can’t happen though so Hogan hammers away on him instead. Finally the heels take over for a bit and it’s a Figure Four on Savage. Instead of SAVING HIS PARTNER Hogan puts one on Taskmaster. Savage reverses his and Flair lets it go. Flair shoves the referee so the referee shoves Flair.
Here comes the Mega Powers as it’s 10PM so we’re going to stay with it, since the C in WCW stands for Commitment! Hogan and Flair slug it out and guess who wins there. Split screen time again as the heels are in control. Luckily this one doesn’t last as long as Sullivan chokes away at Hogan. More slugging out as the Mega Powers get going again.
Woman pops Hogan in the bad eye again but Hogan launches Flair off again as is his custom. He Hulks Up and here comes Anderson. Anderson saves Flair from the leg drop and Brian Pillman comes out with a chair and it’s a double DQ. In a Texas Tornado match, there was a double DQ. And people have the nerve to wonder why this company was looked down upon as being idiotic?
Rating: D. I’m getting REALLY tired of these brawls. They were fun at first but when you know what’s coming and that there’s no chance that Hogan and Savage will flat out lose they lose their luster really fast. Not a fan of these things and thankfully they’ll calm way down after this week’s show.
This led to my favorite review of all time, in the main event of Uncensored 1996. I’ll include the package to set it up as a bonus.
We recap the feud with Hogan and Savage against the Alliance. More or less what happened was simple: the Alliance challenged Hogan to a 4-1 cage match, but WCW wised up and realized Hogan carrying a match like that could expose him too much, so they threw Savage in there too.
Now, how did the Alliance put out this challenge? Was it by beating down Hogan? Was it by destroying something he held dear and valuable? Was it by making threats to his family and home? Nope to all three. They sent him a telegram. Let me repeat that. The feud and match were set by a group sending Hogan a telegram. That’s so freaking stupid I can’t even make fun of it. I truly can’t.
They sent him a telegram. I can’t get over that. Something else I notice: there hasn’t been a single mention of Randy Savage all show. It’s been nothing but Hogan. The team is known as the Alliance to End Hulkamania. In the build up from the announcers there’s no mention of Savage. What in the world is wrong with these people? Why am I trying to figure that out?
Hulk Hogan/Randy Savage vs. Alliance to End Hulkamania
The Alliance is Ric Flair, Arn Anderson, Meng, Barbarian, Lex Luger, Taskmaster (Kevin Sullivan), Z-Gangsta (Zeus from the late 80s) and Ultimate Solution (big fat strong guy that never did anything other of note in wrestling. He did play Bane in Batman and Robin though in case anyone is interested.) Now you might be wondering how this is going to work.
Well until about 3 minutes before the bell rings, so was everyone else. Literally, they didn’t know what they were going to do until the day of the show. That’s your brilliant wrestling company at work. The idea would be this. You have a ring with three cages on top of it. In other words, there’s a ring with a cage over it that’s very tall and has a top of in. The top of that cage is the floor of a second cage. That cage has six sides, all made of cage.
There’s ANOTHER of those on top. The match starts up at the top for no apparent reason. The idea is that it’s more or less a gauntlet match. There’s two guys on top, four in the middle cage and two in the bottom cage and Hogan and Savage have to win in all three cages. Yep, that’s it.
In a match that’s supposed to be all about violence and called a Doomsday match, we have a freaking gauntlet with regular pins and submissions. Let’s get to this. Michael Buffer is in the ring doing introductions for this as I have a feeling that this is going to take a LONG time.
He asks if they’re ready. He asks it again. I wonder if they’re going to break it down after the match. The cage I mean. Oh Brian Pillman is supposed to be in this but he’s left for ECW at this time where he would be for all of a day or so and then on to WWF. Flair comes out sans belt or any acknowledgment that he’s champion so you can see where the priorities are.
Oh we also have to wait for them to all climb up the steps to get to their cages too. Barbarian has been banned from wrestling in most countries in the world too. You learn something new every day. Zeus (I refuse to refer to him as Z-Gangsta more than I have to) and Ultimate Solution aren’t here yet. His original name was Final Solution. I’ll give you two guesses as to how that went.
So we’re starting with Anderson and Flair at the top so we’re starting with the Mega Powers vs. Anderson and Flair. Tell me, what’s wrong with that as a main event? I’d like that FAR better. Luger left WWF for this. That’s just sad. They finally just give up and call Hogan a superhero. Naturally the camera follows him up the stairs as my fear of heights is kicking in.
Dusty says the fans have been waiting for days in and around this building. Just go with it. Once they finally reach the top we start immediately and also immediately we see the massive problem: the fans can’t see a stupid thing. They’re about thirty feet from the ground (which of course hits as high as 65 so far according to Brain) and the lighting is awful.
Also, this is before the days of the Titantron. If they had that, this would be ok. No actually it wouldn’t be but it would have been better. The people watching the PPV from home have a hard time seeing this so imagine what it’s like for the fans there. They’re dead quiet too after the opening maybe 10 seconds because reality has set in. Oh Arn is wearing a full black body suit for no apparent reason.
Heenan says what I think might have been hidden jabs at WCW by saying “What a great thing for television!” and “Only here in WCW!” Those are either fed to him or shots at the brilliant minds who came up with this. Actually no. They’re not worthy of sarcastic praise. They’re freaking idiots. I mean seriously, WHAT ARE THEY THINKING???
If you’re going to do a cage match, fine. If you’re going to do a big cage match, fine. If you’re going to do a gauntlet cage match, that’s fine too. Actually that’s kind of an interesting concept. However, DO IT WHERE THE PEOPLE CAN SEE IT. My goodness how hard of a concept is that? What’s the most important aspect of any show? How about being able to see it?
The fans here might be able to make out someone next to one side of the cage but other than that, nothing. And don’t even bother staying if you sit across the arena and don’t have binoculars because you’re screwed. Sting and Booker won the main event already. I can’t get over how ridiculous this is. Seriously who thought this was a good idea?
Oh and there’s a referee up there too even though it’s Uncensored and therefore unsanctioned. There’s also a massive pole in the middle in case Hogan wants to shoot a Brooke Hogan video up there. They go to a wide shot to just further show how stupid this is. We can hear the wrestlers talking which is usually covered up by the crowd.
Maybe they can see as there’s a pop for Hogan ripping the shirt off. Heenan says this is better than the World Series or the Super Bowl. Yes it does Bobby, yes it does. Hey we’ve hit 70 feet in the air! Heenan redeems himself a bit with the line of all a manager can do here is hope they have a client in the morning. We get a random reference to some woman named Becky in Denver. Ok then.
Tony sums up the match perfectly: the fans wanted to know what the Doomsday Cage was so they’re finding out here. Well thanks for that Tony. In other words, we’re going to throw out a cool sounding name and say Hogan is in it against a bunch of guys that we’re only going to vaguely mention and say to find out, pay up. Once you hook them, you don’t have to do anything.
They did the same thing with the Elimination Chamber in 2002, but the difference was that match wasn’t bad. It certainly wasn’t great but I’ve seen far worse matches. Exhibit A is being reviewed at the moment. In the ultra violent match, we get double figure fours.
Heenan’s comedy is all that’s holding the pieces of this in place. Notice I didn’t say together but just in place as they would likely want to run away and join a witness protection program or something. Zeus and Solution didn’t wrestle again after this. They were the smart ones I guess.
Dusty says if you have a chain length fence (who doesn’t?) just go lay on it to see what this is like. Bobby: Then call your neighbor over and slap the figure four on him! Then put the figure eight on your Doberman! Bobby Heenan, I love you very much. You need massive amounts of therapy and medication, but I love you.
Flair drops something from one cage to the other which is never explained or mentioned again. My guess would be the will of Flair’s career since it’s dead at this point. Hogan and Savage throw powder, which is likely the remains of the cocaine they needed to agree to this.
They go through a trapdoor to get to the next cage, and Anderson and Flair are eliminated. WOW. Ok so wait. All they had to do was get through a door? They didn’t have to pin someone or get a tap out but just go through a door? Ladies and gentlemen, I’m done. I’m going to stop trying to make sense of this match and that’s all there is to it.
This just doesn’t make sense at all but for some reason they insist that it does. Bobby says Boris Karloff would love this. Not really but ok. Hogan has a chain and beats on Sullivan with it. They’re down about 12 feet now so the crowd is a bit more into it. It’s the Faces of Fear (Meng and Barbarian) on Savage and Luger and Sullivan on Hogan.
This room has a door in the middle of it so it’s like two small cages. Actually there’s a reason for it though which will come up in a minute. After being beaten on by two grown men and a steel chain, Hogan is fine and manages to get the chain away to lock the door (which didn’t have a lock before but whatever) and trap Meng and Barbarian inside.
A shot of the cage from the floor makes this look a lot better as in essence they’re fighting on top of a regular cage. That’s not bad I guess. Anderson and Flair drop to the second cage and are trapped as well. Where’s my wah wah music when I need it? Heenan says it’s a maze with no way in or out.
Yep other than the doors they came in through, the doors they leave through or the path that the referee points them through to get to the end. Speaking of doors they go out of one and fight on the stairs which is kind of scary when you think about it as there’s no wall to save them there.
Sullivan is actually over halfway out as Heenan says that he’ll be spam if he hits. I’ll infract him if he does. I don’t want any freaking spam in my reviews. Savage and Luger are still in the cage by the way. According to Brain everyone is on their feet. They have to be to see this I suppose. They’re more or less quiet by the way.
Luger gets loose and we’re out on the floor. Yep, they got out of the cage and while the rules stated earlier in the match said that Hogan and Savage just needed to get down to win, they apparently are going to keep going. Hey, we’re having a Doomsday Cage Match, so let’s fight in the ring!
Yep, they’re fighting in the ring. Luger and Savage are fighting by the cage with Hogan and Sullivan in the ring. The four guys in the upper cage break out and head down the cage. Now this could be cool: Hogan and Savage 6-2 in the arena. Well ok I can go with that as at least its easier to see.
It’s more or less the same thing as the previous match but…that’s….why are the other four just leaving? They just walked back to the dressing room. Anderson and Flair are supposed to, but the Faces of Fear are still in this legally, but who cares about that? That would MAKE SENSE!
Hogan is beating on Luger in the ring while Savage is having boards thrown at him.
Apparently the Faces of Fear have been eliminated. Oh ok I think I’ve got it now: the rules are as follows. Hogan and Savage had to go to the top of the cage where they had to either pin or get a submission from Flair and Anderson but they were allowed to have an alternate way of winning because Hogan made a large donation to the Save the Wombat Foundation.
Next up they had to get pins or submissions on some combination of the Faces of Fear, Sullivan or Luger, but they were able to lock the Faces of Fear into a cage and therefore receive a Federal credit for preventing an international assault and battery charge since both men are international ambassadors sent by the King of Tonga to study wrestling (that’s actually not made up if you can believe that. That’s legit true).
Now at the beginning the rules stated that they simply had to get to the floor to win, however there was a clause stating that if there was a high percentage (17 or greater) of time spent on discussing the social habits of Bulgarian monks in the 15th century by the four in the second cage during the battle in the first cage, then simply getting to the floor wouldn’t be classified as a win.
In that case a pin in the other ring would work. However, that won’t work either because Lex Luger’s lawyers feel that the population of fire ants in this match were misrepresented so therefore a simple pin in the ring won’t work either, and the final two members of the Alliance to End Hulkamania, which has founded new chapters in Laos, Manhattan and the North Pole, fighting off the evils of Hulk-Chi-Min, Hulk Maritoni and Hulk-a-Claus, must be equally represented in this match, which must end via pinfall in the original ring.
HOWEVER, it will be allowed for former members of the Alliance to reenter the match under the Columbus Act which also founded Ohio in 1776, but also said that wrestlers were unlawfully evicted from the match via an international treaty can be allowed to return. ANYWAY, now that we’re back to the match, let’s continue here but I need to make sure this remains logical. It’s very important to keep that going here.
They’re all at the ring now and we have more bad chair shots. I love how the graphic under the split screen says Doomsday Cage Match despite a significant lack of cage. Here’s Ultimate Solution and Zeus. According to the clause listed above, we head back to the original cage for the showdown. Yep, it’s Hogan and Savage in a no tag tag-team match against two big strong guys. How do they come up with these things?
Sullivan is lurking around as I feel he needs to register. I’m sure there’s something in this match for him too. There must be a tournament somewhere. As if this wasn’t riveting enough, we hit a bear hug. Hey now, it’s time for the rematch of the match that didn’t happen seven years ago in another company that we’re not going to mention but imply that everyone knows anyway because that’s how we roll.
Ultimate Solution (hereafter known as porkchop for no other reason than I have the Doug song in my head) picks up Savage and has him in position for a slam, prompting Dusty to wonder what he’s going to do with him. Heenan says that he picked Savage up like a 100lb infant. Tony says there’s no winning or losing but only surviving. Yeah I’d agree.
Whose career can survive this match? Here’s Arn and Flair again as apparently their plan to eliminate Hulkamania is just to stomp them and punch them and slam them a lot. Yep, that’s the epic plan.
Tony is holding out hope despite a few seconds before saying it’s hopeless. I love that top level journalism there Tony! Keep it up and one day you might be able to get a better job like selling meat from a truck in Minneapolis! They actually argue over how many people are in there against Hogan and Savage. To get off of that we point out that this started with a telegram. Somehow that’s an improvement.
Naturally they ask if Hulkamania can survive instead of Hogan and Savage. It amazes me that he got so little respect over the years. He was nuts, but dang could he wrestle. In one of the best unintentionally funny moments I can ever remember, the powder that Hogan and Savage have spills out and within 5 seconds Brutus is there to help them. That’s just greatness.
Also they’re almost face down in it. Could this get any funnier? Now the interesting part is what Brutus does for them. He brings them weapons to even the odds, instead of actually sticking around to help fight like a friend would. Nope he brought them something to help them fight off the forces of evil.
What does he bring? Does he bring brass knuckles? Maybe a club? Perhaps a couple of chairs? Nope. He brings frying pans. Brutus Beefcake brings a pair of frying pans to help save his friends. Where in the world do I start? Let’s see: how about WHY DID HE HAVE FRYING PANS??? Was he making bacon in the back or something? Does he tend to carry cookware around with him? Did the barber shop fall through? I guess he couldn’t repair the window after Shawn broke it so he became a chef.
Somehow, that is the most logical thing I’ve said all night. There’s five minutes left so let’s get through this if we can. Luger comes back in with a glove that they imply is loaded. He sets to hit Savage but Macho ducks (that sounds like an upgrade to Duck Hunter) and Luger stops, but then starts again to hit Flair and turn face I guess. Hogan and Savage turn to leave but Savage runs back in and pins Flair while everyone else kind of stands around and lets it happen. WOW. So did they forget the whole pin thing too I suppose? Heenan is ticked off and leaves and we’re finally done.
Rating: -F. This is below an F. We’ve gone so low that we’ve went past Z (which stands for Zeus not Z-Gangsta blast it) and we’ve reached negative letters. That’s how insane this was. I mean it made no sense, the rules I laid out might as well have been the real ones because nothing stayed the same as it was in the beginning, you couldn’t see a stupid thing if you were in the audience, the match was exactly the same thing that it had always been with Hogan surviving, and the plan was just to beat them up a lot? Take note fans: never, I mean never, send a telegram in your life. You can see what it can lead to.
What a difference a year makes. Here’s another very unique match which actually worked at Uncensored 1997.
Team WCW vs. Team NWO vs. Team Piper
WCW: Giant, Lex Luger, Scott Steiner
NWO: Hall, Nash, Hogan, Savage
Piper: Piper, McMichael, Jarrett, Benoit
This is kind of like a cross between WarGames and a battle royal. You have three guys start and go five minutes. Then after two minutes we get another man from each team (Team WCW will miss an entry due to Rick going on and they weren’t smart enough to have Page fill in). It’s elimination style, which means we don’t have to deal with 11 guys in the ring at once. You can put someone out via pin, submission, knockout and over the top.
If Team WCW wins, the NWO is stripped of all titles and can’t wrestle for 3 years. If Team Piper wins, Piper gets Hogan in a cage at a time to be announced. If Team NWO wins, they more or less have carte blanche (Previously they would have gotten a title shot anywhere anytime, kind of like Money in the Bank). They change that back to the MITB thing but it would ultimately be the free reign thing.
Benoit, Hall and Giant start us off. They’re not at ringside which is kind of stupid as you would be able to jump them as they come out in theory no? Benoit jumps Hall before Giant gets there. Not that we can see that as we need to see Giant’s very slow walk to the ring instead. Giant gets in very slowly which is rather smart before taking them both down with a clothesline.
Benoit tries to chop away and it doesn’t work at all. It’s almost hard to believe that Benoit would be world champion before Hall. Basically this is Giant and two other guys in there as he keeps dominating the entire time. Elbow drop on Hall so Benoit tries to jump Giant. No real attempts to throw anyone out but since you can win by pinfall that’s ok.
Sleeper doesn’t work for Hall and Giant gets a huge chokeslam to Benoit for only two. Hall saves, I guess out of fear of fighting Giant one on one. Giant busts out the claw of all things but a corner splash misses and Giant is gone first! That leaves two guys for Team WCW. The clock runs out on the first period and it’s Jarrett, Randy Savage and Luger. That puts five guys in the ring at the moment if you’re keeping score.
It’s more or less a battle royal at this point as Luger can’t gorilla press Savage out. Jeff avoids a Razor’s Edge and here come Mongo, Nash and Scott Steiner. No real effort to put anyone out right now as everyone is really just beating on each other. Belly to belly puts Nash down as we only have Hogan and Piper left. Nash gets a big boot and clothesline to Jarrett and he’s out. Jeff that is. Mongo gets backdropped out so Team Piper has just Benoit and Piper left.
Here are Hogan and Piper so everyone is out there now. Nash gets a big boot to Steiner to knock him out so Luger is all that’s left for WCW, Piper and Benoit for Piper and all of the NWO is left. Wait where’s Hogan? What a shock he’s going to come out last isn’t he? Oh there he is with Dennis Rodman. Piper is on the floor but not out. Scratch that as he’s back now. Seven people in at the moment.
Hogan, Piper and Savage are on the floor with Hogan kind of chilling and Piper choking Savage. The Outsiders beat up Benoit and everyone is finally in there at the same time. Hogan throws Piper through the ropes and they brawl on the floor a bit. After Savage jumps them in the aisle everyone goes back to the ring. In a HORRIBLY stupid looking moment, Piper is sent into the ropes but Rodman pulls it down to put him out. This would have looked passable if Piper didn’t JUMP OVER THE ROPE BEFORE IT WAS PULLED DOWN. And people wonder why they went out of business.
They keep brawling on the floor anyway and Savage helps as it’s the Outsider Edge for Benoit. The tag champs toss him out and Team Piper is gone. Luger is the only one left for WCW and he’s against technically five guys counting Rodman. The NWO literally stands around for a minute and a half posing before Nash sets him up for a powerbomb.
Luger escapes and racks Savage, clotheslines Nash and racks Hall to eliminate all three in under thirty seconds. And never mind as when he goes to rack Hogan, Savage gets the spraypaint from Rodman and pops Luger in the face with it so Hogan can get the winning pin. The NWO won a big match. I’m shocked too.
Rating: B-. The match was actually pretty good as it didn’t really get stupid and for a big multi-man tag, this actually worked. I fail to see why Rick wasn’t out there but still, pretty good stuff. The ending was obvious but it doesn’t ever drag, the stuff they did made perfect sense the entire time and it was kind of interesting. Shockingly good main event.
We’ll settle down a bit with Nitro on February 16, 1998 in a match that could have headlined Starrcade.
Hollywood Hogan/Randy Savage vs. Sting/Lex Luger
Savage jumps Sting and Luger in the aisle to start the fight and Hogan sends Sting into the barricade. Hollywood hammers on Sting inside but Sting comes back with right hands to send Hogan out to the floor. Savage and Luger head into the ring now with Savage choking on the ropes.
They’re the official starters but when Savage goes to tag Hogan he’s out on the floor with Bischoff. Hollywood gets on the apron so Randy tags him with a forearm to the back. Three elbow drops get a near fall on Luger but Hogan’s legdrop misses. Hot tag Sting and Hogan is almost immediately in the Scorpion. Here’s the NWO as the match is thrown out.
Rating: D+. Did you really expect anything else here? There’s nothing wrong with setting up the two PPV main events in one TV match as it kills two birds with one stone without doing the same match twice. This was your usual NWO style brawl and the match itself only lasted a few minutes but it was entertaining enough to get by.
And the rematch from a month later on March 16, 1998.
Sting/Lex Luger vs. Hollywood Hogan/Randy Savage
Savage on the mic: “OOOOH YEAH!” Hogan on the mic: “OOOOH NO!” Why did no one think of that before? Sting’s music hits but we only have Luger. Buffer does the entrance but there’s no Sting. Bischoff takes the mic and says Luger is on his own because there’s no Sting. The camera pans up to show a helicopter (blowing the ring skirts and mats around) with Sting REPELING INTO THE RING!
Hogan blames Savage for this so Savage goes to leave, only to be stopped by the Disciple. Hogan jumps Randy from behind as Hogan and Sting look on from the ring. Savage is thrown inside and gets beaten up by Sting with the fans trying to recover from the entrance. A top rope splash gets two for Sting and he shouts at Savage to get up. Sting pops Hogan with a right hand and brings in Luger to work on Savage even more.
Luger suplexes Savage down for no cover and drops him again with a gorilla press. Back to the world champion for an atomic drop before Luger comes in for the running forearm. Hogan isn’t even paying attention to the ring. Savage gets up and slaps Hogan on the back but Hogan says he doesn’t think so and bails.
Randy throws Hogan back inside before getting in a fight with Disciple. Hogan chokes Luger down but Lex avoids the legdrop and tags in Sting. There are a pair of Stinger Splashes for Hollywood and a right hand for Bischoff. Savage is rolled in by the Disciple and everything breaks down, drawing in the Disciple for the DQ.
Rating: D. This wasn’t a match as much as a massive angle. Hogan and Savage already had a bad match last night and it looks like we’re gearing up for another one in the future. Luger continues to be a man with no direction at all as he’s just thrown into random matches to fight for WCW because that’s all he does. Bad match here but the entrance was awesome.
I don’t think it’s any secret that the Mega Powers were a bigger deal in their early days, especially with the stuff leading up to the explosion at Wrestlemania V. Even after that though, it still felt like a huge deal when these guys would team up. They were the biggest stars of their era and they were still a big deal in WCW when they were both past their primes. These two were joined at the hip (and unhip in WCW) and it made a lot of fans very happy over the years.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Smackdown Date: December 26, 2014
Location: Tyson Events Center, Sioux City, Iowa
Attendance: 4,000
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Tom Phillips, Michael Cole
It’s the show after Christmas which means that Hulk Hogan is still in charge tonight. All that means is he’ll make a match and say BROTHER a lot, but that’s at least better than some of the previous bosses this company has had. Other than that we’re still in the dull period before they start caring about the Rumble so let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
Here’s Hogan walking through the same Christmas set from Raw to open things up. I really wish they would mix those things up a bit more often. Anymore it’s just the same set from Raw but with blue as the main color. Switch things up a bit and make Smackdown feel more unique. Maybe they’ll do that when the show moves back to Thursdays.
Anyway, Hogan has something to tell us brother (1), he’s in charge tonight brother (2). We hear some of his fondest memories from being on Smackdown, including winning the Tag Team Titles with Edge, who will be hosting Raw with Christian on Monday. That’s another thing I wouldn’t mind seeing more of: plug those announcements. It’s simple and quick yet gets the word out there.
Hogan is about to go on but Rollins and the Stooges cut him off. Seth calls him a champion, a Hall of Famer and the embodiment of Wrestlemania. He asks for and receives a handshake before saying if Hogan keeps it up, they might start calling him the Seth Rollins of the 80s. Hogan may have been great, but he doesn’t belong in Rollins’ ring anymore. That’s a bit too far for our American hero, who says he’s running Smackdown tonight. Hogan: “So if you don’t mind brother (3)…” Rollins: “Well I do mind brother. AND DON’T YOU BROTHER ME!”
Seth talks about how great the Authority was for business but now they’ve been replaced by a sideshow act like Hogan. As the future of WWE, this is Seth’s business and he’d like Hulk to officially endorse him. After that, Hogan can get out of this ring because it’s almost 2015. Hulk isn’t sure Rollins is getting out of this ring alive if he keeps talking like that. He can think of several people who could lead this company into the future, like Dolph Ziggler for instance.
Cue Dolph, who calls Rollins the future. If you don’t believe that, just ask Seth because that’s all he talks about. Rollins says Ziggler just doesn’t get it. The future isn’t just a popularity contest and Rollins should just Curb Stomp him right in front of Hogan. How does that sound brother? Ziggler has been curb stomped before and keeps getting up, so what does Seth want to do about it brother?
Here’s Big Show to say that sometime you have to just use force, so now he’s going to come out here and knock out Hogan and Ziggler. This brings out Reigns who tells Show not to come through those ropes unless he wants to get hit in the mouth again, right in front of his wife and kids. Hogan makes the tag match main event and actually doesn’t drop a ninth brother (yes I counted) of the segment.
Kane vs. Ryback
Jobber entrance for Kane. We see Ryback sending Rusev running on Monday before things get going. Ryback fires off to start but runs into a boot to the…..shoulder I think to put him down. So Kane can’t even sell for ten seconds now? Cole crushes several dreams by confirming that Rose and the Bunny have split, partially due to the tombstones from Kane. Ryback grabs a spinebuster and loads up the Meat Hook but we’ve got Russians. He’s still able to escape the chokeslam though and hits the Meat Hook and Shell Shock for the pin at 2:10. Now THAT is what Kane should be used for more often than not.
Rusev gets in the ring for a staredown but Kane comes back in to chokeslam Ryback, setting up the Accolade. I’m still not sure who wins this feud, even though it should be obvious. That’s always a good sign.
After a break, Hogan runs into the Russians to tell Rusev that the US Title is on the line tonight. Giving champions almost no notice to defend their titles is the American way you see, BROTHER. And SISTER!
Alicia Fox vs. Naomi
They start fast with Naomi nipping up, only to eat a kick to the face for two. More speedy kicks get two for Naomi as Miz is watching from the back. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two for Alicia and we hit the chinlock. That goes nowhere so Naomi heads to the apron for a kind of Twist of Fate onto the top rope. Naomi gets tired of carrying Fox and kicks her in the head, setting up the split legged moonsault for the pin at 3:18. She even throws in counting the pin along with the referee because she’s kind of awesome.
Rating: C. I’m so glad that Naomi is getting an actual story instead of the usual stuff we’ve been seeing with the Divas for years. She’s an athletic freak and, in a description I wish I had thought of, the female Shelton Benjamin. No one in the division can keep up with her and unfortunately it means that WWE doesn’t know what to do with her. It’s good to see that they’ve given her some kind of a story though, because far too often the Divas’ stories revolve around just wanting the title or some catty story that makes them all look ridiculous.
We recap the matches Hogan set up on Raw.
Jimmy and Naomi have a badly scripted conversation about Jimmy beating Miz later tonight.
R-Truth vs. Adam Rose
Rematch from Monday where the Bunny was beaten up by Rose after he lost to Truth. Therefore, Rose comes out sans Bunny and doesn’t even do the fall, waving the Rosebuds off instead. Rose is much more aggressive here and takes Truth into the corner for some mule kick stomping. A nice snap suplex gets two on Truth and we hit the chinlock.
Phillips tries to bring up the incident on Halloween where Truth said the Bunny was the star of the team to set up this mini feud. Since that’s doing his job and keeping up continuity, JBL just buries him in response, saying how stupid the whole thing is. Back up and Truth makes his comeback, only to be sent into the post to set up the Party Foul for the pin at 2:07. Rose actually plays a decent heel, but his in ring work is still average at best.
Here are Rusev and Lana for a chat before the title defense. It’s a short one this time, basically saying Rusev will crush anyone before he faces. Cue his opponent.
US Title: Dean Ambrose vs. Rusev
It’s kind of amazing how Ambrose keeps getting these major matches despite barely ever winning anything. They take turns stomping each other down in the corner to start until Dean ties him in the ropes for chops and the running dropkick. A suicide dive drops Rusev again and Dean grabs a jackknife cover of all things for two.
The fans chant USA as Rusev runs Dean over and drops rapid fire elbows ala Hulk Hogan back in the day. You would think that the Russian imitating an AMERICAN would satiate the fans chanting USA but it doesn’t quite work that way. A chinlock stays on even shorter than usual but Rusev ties him in the ropes and hits a running Vader clothesline to the back knocking him out to the floor as we take a break.
Back with the champ holding a nerve hold before the fall away slam gets two. Ambrose actually escapes the Accolade attempt and avoids a charge, sending Rusev head first into the post. The Rebound Clothesline sets up the standing elbow (love that move) for two and Ambrose’s tongue is hanging out. They head outside with the champion going into the barricade, only to have Wyatt interfere for the DQ at 13:00.
Rating: C+. These matches are like a vacation: they’re fun while they last but you know you’re going to be disappointed by the ending. There was no doubt that it was going to end by countout or DQ because that’s how these things end in WWE. It’s a problem with how the company books its shows anymore but unfortunately it’s something you have to live with. As usual Dean looks good, but when was the last time he had a fall on a show that actually mattered? And no, Tribute to the Troops doesn’t matter.
Rusev leaves and Bray throws Dean over the timekeeper’s area, only to have Dean come up throwing chairs. About five are thrown into the ring and Bray bails as well. I have no idea where they’re going with this, but it’s modern WWE and a major gimmick match doesn’t end anything anymore.
Miz vs. Jimmy Uso
Cole plugs a new app where you’re a backstage assistant in WWE and solve problems which have nothing to do with anything happening in the ring. Levels include identifying a spot as fatty tissue, yelling at someone for not memorizing a script, trying to figure out what the heck the commentators are talking about and finding stronger ear plugs so HHH doesn’t hear the BORING chants.
Miz kicks him down to start but we get a quick chase scene around the ring. JBL, of course, is talking about fast food mascots. Jimmy can’t hit the running Umaga attack but eats a right hand from Jey. Naturally, that’s not a DQ. Back in and Miz begs off to offer more mainstream connections. The fans aren’t really happy with the match stopping for nearly a minute of Miz standing there with his hand out saying “come on let’s be Usos”, so Jimmy hits two superkicks and the Superfly Splash for the pin at 3:08.
Rating: D. I’m liking the idea of the Usos having some singles matches. Of course it shouldn’t lead anywhere because splitting them up for singles runs would be a terrible idea, but I like that they’re not just doing the same tag match every week. Imagine that: trying something else to keep things fresh for the bigger shows. There’s so much in WWE that is going right but at the same time the big problems are just so wrong.
Ascension is coming next week.
Goldust looks at an electric orb and sees that the new year will be……something we don’t get to hear as the ball shocks him. Stardust comes in to say it’s going to be his year.
Seth Rollins/Big Show vs. Roman Reigns/Dolph Ziggler
Ziggler and Rollins get things going as Cole recaps Survivor Series gets an achievement for recapping Survivor Series for the 200th time. A quick hiptoss has Rollins down so it’s off to the power guys. Reigns can’t get things moving too fast thanks to a shoulder from Big Show. Like the masterful heel that he is, Rollins comes in when Roman is down to stomp away. Reigns is able to get back up though due to the power of wetter hair, allowing for the hot tag off to Ziggler.
The Stooges get involved, and somehow don’t get caught, by tripping up Ziggler as we take a break. Back with Dolph fighting out of a chinlock, only to be catapulted into the corner. The fans display their ventriloquism skills by chanting BIG SLOW without moving their mouths….or anything else for that matter. Reigns smiles at Show as the chant is getting annoying in a hurry. A few fans chant for Reigns but they’re quickly drowned out by BIG SLOW.
Show misses a charge and eats a Fameasser, setting up the hot tag to Reigns. Mercury breaks up the Superman Punch and Seth nails the low superkick for two. The fans chant for Reigns (again with the ventriloquism) and he backdrops out of a buckle bomb attempt. The chokeslam doesn’t work either and Dolph levels Big Show with a superkick, setting up the spear for the pin.
Nah I’m kidding. You know Big Show isn’t going to get pinned when there’s some hotshot with a future to take the fall for him. Rollins sends both opponents to the floor and suicide dives Reigns. Back in and Ziggler breaks up the springboard knee, setting up the spear to Rollins for the pin at 13:13.
Rating: C. The match was your standard main event tag (with another bad ending but I guess that huge fall over Show is supposed to make Reigns) but the chants were the most interesting part. Of course they were piped in, but I find it interesting that they seem more interested in playing down Big Show than playing up Reigns.
They were similar to the LET’S GO CENA/CENA SUCKS chants: yeah they’re against Cena, but they’re not for his opponent. The chants made this sound like it was all about Big Show with the few Reigns chants only lasting a few seconds compared to the near minute of Show chants. I’m not sure what to make of that.
Overall Rating: C-. Yet another worthless episode of Smackdown with whichever main eventers we have on hand being thrown into a tag team main event. The Ryback vs. Rusev showdown still looks good, though I’m not sure they can stretch it out for another four weeks. Other than that, there really isn’t much to talk about here. It’s another basic episode of the same show they’ve done every Friday for weeks now and I get less and less enthusiastic about it every time. Oh wait Kane actually took a fall. He’s been getting a bit better about that.
Results
Ryback b. Kane – Shell Shock
Naomi b. Alicia Fox – Split legged moonsault
Adam Rose b. R-Truth – Party Foul
Dean Ambrose b. Rusev via DQ when Bray Wyatt interfered
Jimmy Uso b. The Miz – Superfly Splash
Roman Reigns/Dolph Ziggler b. Big Show/Seth Rollins – Spear to Rollins
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Impact Wrestling – December 24, 2014: Business As Usual
Impact Wrestling Date: December 24, 2014
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz, Don West
Hosts: Christy Hemme, Jeremy Borash
This is the final episode of Impact Wrestling on SpikeTV before they head over to Destination America early in the new year. It’s also the second half of the Top Twenty Moments countdown, which hopefully is capped off by someone who still works for this company. Let’s get to it.
#10. Impact – February 19, 2009
Kurt Angle vs. Sting
Empty arena match for control of the Main Event Mafia. With no one there, of course they come out to their music. Sting throws Angle outside to start and they hit that wall that they always hit in brawls. Angle goes nuts with right hands and you can hear the grunting. They go up into the empty seats as this is one of those “let’s walk around and not really do much” matches. Angle walks him back up into the seats and somehow the cameras can’t follow them, despite there being no one to get around.
Sting dumps Angle over a balcony but Kurt comes back with a metal trashcan. Kurt: “I HATE YOU!” We see some fans watching in the concourse as I realize there’s no reason given for this to be an empty arena match. A low blow puts Sting down and Angle swears a bit. Sting pops up with a chair to the back but Angle begs off a beating from a chair. He swears that he’s sorry and says he has kids, only to change his mind and tell Sting to hit him. Nash and Steiner finally come in to break it up with Nash shouting to MAKE IT RIGHT. They shake hands but start fighting again, shouting how much they hate each other.
Rating: D-. Again, why was this an empty arena match? It didn’t make a ton of sense when it was Rock vs. Mankind and it really doesn’t make a ton of sense here. As usual, it felt like Russo trying to do something to make a splash instead of making sense, which is eventually going to be exposed for the shock TV that it is.
#9. Impact – October 8, 2014.
Tag Team Titles: Hardys vs. Team 3D vs. Wolves
The Wolves are defending and this is Full Metal Mayhem, meaning TLC. Richards has a somewhat bad leg coming into this but he seems to be fine. It’s a big brawl to start of course with Matt hitting what looked like the Side Effect to Eddie on the apron. Bully hammers on Jeff on the floor as weapons are being sets up on the floor. Matt goes for a climb but Ray comes in for a save with a Rock Bottom.
Davey breaks up Ray’s attempt and DDTs him, only to have D-Von nail Richards a second later. Matt gets enziguried into a German suplex onto a pair of open chairs. Eddie throws Jeff into the air and Ray catches him in a Cutter for a 3D. They chop it out but Matt is back up to take both guys down. We get the Tower of Doom with Ray electric chairing Matt who superplexes Edwards. D-Von bridges a piece of barricade between the apron and some overturned steps but Davey headbutts him onto the barricade.
Ray saves his partner from a dive and powerbombs Richards down, only to miss a middle rope backsplash. He comes right back with another powerbomb to send Richards onto the barricade, giving Richards one of the most shocked looks I’ve ever seen. Back with Jeff taking a ladder to the face and D-Von cleans house with a chair.
Richards comes back with a chair of his own but this time it’s Jeff popping up to take over. The Whisper in the Wind and Swanton have Ray in trouble but he pops right back up for a brawl with Jeff on the floor. The Twisting Stunner has Ray in trouble and Jeff brings out another table. He bridges it between the turned over steps and the apron with the legs up. Jeff misses the legdrop though and crashes through the table, leaving him in a huge heap on the floor.
Back in and Ray goes up, only to have Edwards set up a ladder of his own next to it. Bully kicks him down but Matt comes in with a ladder of his own. All three go up and slug it out with Edwards getting slammed off the top. Mat and Ray grab for the belts but send them swinging around before knocking each other off with Matt flying into a ladder.
Davey and Matt slug it out with Hardy getting the better of it and bringing in another table. Everyone heads outside again with Matt climbing about halfway up a huge ladder to legdrop Davey through a table. Richards has taken one heck of a beating here. D-Von cleans house with the ladder and brings in the big ladder to make thing even more fun. Team 3D loads up What’s Up but Edwards shoves D-Von to the floor.
Davey goes up the big ladder but gets shoved onto the floor and head first into the barricade. The Hardys make another save with chairs and put Ray on two tables. Jeff goes up top of the big ladder but Davey shoves it over, sending Hardy into a HUGE splash onto Ray for a horrible looking crash. Davey and Matt slug it out on top of the ladder but Edwards makes a save and powerbombs Matt through a table, allowing Davey to take down the belts for the win at 23:52.
Rating: A. I came into this show thinking this match wasn’t going to be able to live up to its hype and they got me. This was an AWESOME match with a ton of high spots and some insane looking bumps. The fact that they didn’t save this for Bound For Glory shows you just how much they don’t care about that show this year. Excellent match and one of the best things TNA has done in years.
#8. Slammiversary 2013.
Taryn Terrell vs. Gail Kim
Last Knockout standing. Gail attacks in the corner to start but Taryn comes back with clotheslines to take over. Gail puts on an octopus hold but lets it go early and only gets a six count. Kim goes to the floor for a chair but has it kicked out of her hands. Some hair drags keep Gail down for a few moments but she manages to get the chair up to block a high cross body. Gail is up first and goes after the knee for a bit before wedging the chair between the ropes. Taryn blocks a ram into the chair but gets caught in the Figure Four around the post.
Terrell is up at 8 and dodges Gail’s charge into the corner, sending her head first into the chair in a SICK looking crash. That only gets eight so Taryn puts her in the Figure Four around the post for eight more. Taryn misses a charge and lands on the ramp for nine, only to be caught in a legsweep onto the ramp for nine more. Gail tries a piledriver but gets reversed into a bulldog off the ramp to put both girls down. Taryn beats the count for the win at 9:18.
Rating: B-. This was the best Knockouts match in YEARS. The bulldog off the stage was a bigger spot but the missed charge into the chair should have been the finish. It looked MUCH more painful and I thought Gail was out cold. Still though, very entertaining match and I was really impressed with Taryn here. I’d bet on her vs. Mickie at BFG for the title in a veteran vs. underdog title match.
#7. Impact – January 4, 2010.
It’s 9pm so here’s Hulk in black. Brooke is of course in the front row. Hogan immediately puts over the roster and the locker room for working as hard as they have. Now we get the infamous line from this promo: “I’ve been in the back all day.” Remember that this is after AN HOUR OF WATCHING HIM DRIVE TO THE BUILDING. That line was edited out of the rebroadcast of the show and it’s painful to hear all over again.
Hogan talks about how many new and familiar faces there are here. As he’s talking, Hall and Waltman try to get to the ring. Hogan says give them a mic and let them get in the ring. Hall and Hogan do the Wolfpack sign and Hall says the party is back. The boss tells him that’s not how it works anymore. Waltman thinks it’s the same people so it’s the same party, but Hogan shoots him down too. In a laughable line, Hogan says it’s time to grow up.
Hall says everything is changing, with or without Hogan. Wait so is everything changing or is everything the same? Nash comes out and wants to know what’s going on, but Hulk insists he’s not playing a role. Hogan says they need to do this FOR REAL because it’s a different time. Hall and Waltman are ready to fight but Eric Bischoff debuts and says they reinvented this business. Dixie Carter is shown watching from the crowd.
Bischoff says this is all about communication and that has broken down recently. Everyone has to earn their position in this company, which Nash hears loud and clear. Nash, Hall and Waltman leave and Bischoff again claims that they can change the business again. Hogan says they’ve shuffled the deck as Dixie cautiously applauds. Bischoff rips up the format sheet to show how different things are going to be. He hands the producer a new format because they’re turning this company upside down. So this basically boiled down to the same “this is new” promo that every indy company starts with.
In storyline development, Shera makes it to the top of a hill where Sotrm is waiting with a jug of water. Storm pours it on top of him and welcomes Shera to the Revolution.
#6. Impact – January 9, 2014.
TNA World Title: AJ Styles vs. Magnus
No DQ and both guys are champion coming in. Magnus immediately goes to the floor and does it again for a second time in less than ninety seconds. No contact yet. Magnus gets back in but here are Ethan Carter and Spud to jump AJ before any contact is made. AJ fights them off and superkicks Magnus in the ribs but Carter breaks up a Styles Clash attempt. Sting finally comes out for the save but doesn’t do anything as AJ saves himself. Magnus bails to the floor and we take a break.
Back with the two champions still not making contact as the Bro Mans and Zema Ion come out to jump Sting and AJ and giving us six run-ins in less than eight minutes. Zema DDTs AJ and the Bro Down gets a delayed two on Styles. Sting comes back in as Magnus just chills at ringside. The Brit finally comes back in and AJ quickly loads up the Clash, only to have Bad Influence make the save and lay him out with a powerbomb/neckbreaker combo.
Earl Hebner refuses to count so Dixie and Brian Hebner get us to ELEVEN people coming out for this match. Bad Influence goes High/Low on AJ for two and Brian gets yelled at. Sting lays out the Bro Mans with a double Death Drop on the floor before putting Ion in the Deathlock. AJ fights back against Bad Influence as Sting comes in to help even more. We’re down to Magnus vs. AJ with Styles getting the Calf Killer, only to have Kazarian take out the referee.
Kazarian monkey flips AJ into Daniels but AJ clotheslines him down and Peles Kaz. Now the Styles Clash takes out Magnus but there’s no referee. Earl Hebner hobbles back out (we’ll call that #12) to count two before AJ dives over the top to take out Bad Influence yet again. AJ goes up top but Bobby Roode makes it #13 by shoving Styles into the ropes. Three AA/DVDs lay AJ out for about the fifth time, giving Magnus the pin (thanks to referee #3 and the fourteenth person added to the match) and the undisputed title at 15:47. Sting was being held back by most of the heels in case you were wondering.
Rating: D. So they spent all night hyping up the match before going full Russo on it. That’s what we spent months and months building to? The match was definitely energetic but we really had to spend all this time setting up Dixie with her corporate champion? Assuming AJ leaving isn’t a HUGE swerve, this was one of the biggest wastes of time I can remember in years.
#5. Impact Wrestling – January 17, 2013.
Are they kidding???
It’s wedding time. Ray is in a tux which is weird to say the least. The groomsmen come out with the bridesmaids (looking GOOD tonight) and here’s Brooke. Hulk finally comes out (setting a record in getting into a tuxedo) to a big ovation. The fans tell Hulk to shake Bully’s hand. They get through a LONG intro from the minister and saying how much they care about each other.
No one objects, they both say I do, and Tazz takes the mic from the minister. Tazz asks if Bully is sure, then says it’s too hot in here. He takes off his jacket, and reveals an Aces and 8’s vest. The big brawl ends the ceremony and show. Brooke gets kidnapped again as Ray takes a pedestal to the face to end the show.
So quick recap here. There are four moments left and we have the following to go off the top of my head:
Kurt Angle debuts
AJ Styles wins the World Title at No Surrender 2009
Unbreakable triple threat
Elix Skipper walks the cage
Angle vs. Joe from Genesis 2006
ANYTHING from before October 2007
Somehow they’re going to screw up something as simple as “hey, does anyone remember any great matches from the last twelve years?”
#4. Impact – November 3, 2011.
TNA World Title: James Storm vs. Bobby Roode
Feeling out process to start as they’re playing up the idea that they know each other very well. Off to a test of strength which doesn’t last long. Neither guy has an advantage as we go to a break. Back with Storm ramming shoulders into Roode in the corner. They keep countering each other and Roode can’t get much of an advantage. Storm stays ahead with a superplex but both guys are down.
They slug it out and Storm takes over with some running shots. Blockbuster gets two for Roode. Backstabber gets two for the champ. Eye of the Storm is countered into a spinebuster for two. They head to the floor and both guys barely get back inside in time. Storm tries an Orton DDT but gets countered into a Crossface. Storm makes a rope and Roode is frustrated. Roode tries a superplex but Storm counters into a top rope elbow for two.
This is getting good. Last Call misses as Roode grabs the fisherman’s suplex. Storm counters that and is almost sent into the referee. The referee avoids the contact but twists his knee in the process as Roode is sent to the floor. Roode succumbs to the demons inside and grabs the beer bottle which he breaks over Storm’s head to BIG heat. It gives him the world title at 17:40.
Rating: B. This was a very solid match that could have easily main evented a PPV with about five minutes extra. Still though, good stuff here and that’s what they needed to do. I’m really not sure I like the ending but it’s TNA after all so how good can it get? The heel turn was needed, but Roode is going to have to step up his emotions as a heel to deserve this spot. Good match though.
#3. Unbreakable
X-Division Title: Samoa Joe vs. AJ Styles vs. Christopher Daniels
Daniels is the longest reigning champion ever at this point, AJ is a four time champion and Joe is undefeated. This is TNA’s greatest match ever so let’s see if it holds up. AJ and Joe team up to beat down Daniels to start which is kind of a surprising move. Joe kicks him HARD in the back and AJ does the same thing. It turns into a contest and I think Joe wins by a hair. Daniels gets up but Joe kicks him in the face. Cool sequence.
AJ grabs a fast rollup on Joe and we’re ready to get going. They trade pinfall attempts so fast that I can’t type them until Joe hooks a modified Rings of Saturn. Daniels breaks it up and kicks AJ down for no cover. Joe chops the champ and hits a standing enziguri to knock him to the floor. AJ takes Joe down but Daniels is back in to take over on Styles, getting two. Joe chops them both in the corner but Daniels fires back with chops of his own.
Styles headscissors both guys down into opposite corners and fires off kicks at Joe. Joe is like screw that and suplexes him down overhead style. There’s the Facewash to Styles but Daniels breaks up the running kick to the face. Daniels hits a springboard moonsault onto Joe on the floor but you know AJ has to top him, so he hits a springboard shooting star to take both guys down. He rolls Joe back in for two and things slow down a tiny bit.
Actually scratch that as Styles hits the drop down/dropkick combo for two. Daniels comes back in again and monkey flips AJ at Joe but AJ twists in mid air into a rana on the fat man. Daniels O’Connor rolls Styles for two and then launches him over the top and out to the floor. A flying knee sends Joe into the corner and Daniels slaps him in the face. Joe will have none of that and slaps Daniels back but Daniels rolls him up for two.
Joe counters the rollup into the Clutch so Styles busts out Spiral Tap to break up the hold. That gets two on both guys and Daniels sends Styles back to the floor. An STO puts Joe down but AJ breaks up the BME. I feel like I’m talking to a 3 year old after that last exchange with all the spelling. Daniels gets caught in the Tree of Woe and AJ kicks away, but Joe splashes AJ into Daniels. A running dropkick to the face breaks the Tree and Daniels is out.
The running big boot that Joe does knocks AJ’s head into Tallahassee somewhere and the backsplash gets two. Daniels comes back out of nowhere and hits the Death Valley Driver on Joe. Everyone is down until Daniels covers Joe for two. AJ gets sent to the floor and both he and Daniels miss moonsaults. They slug it out so Joe hits a corkscrew plancha to take both guys down. The fans are losing their minds over this stuff. Back in and Daniels breaks up the MuscleBuster but Styles goes up too. AJ and Daniels fight on the top so Joe backdrops both of them down at the same time.
Joe gets up first and he looks MAD. He and AJ slug it out with AJ taking over but Joe slugs him right back and hits a big old German release suplex to take over. There’s the MuscleBuster but Daniels comes in with the belt. He charges at Joe but the Samoan hits a snap powerslam to cut that off. Joe picks the belt up but Daniels kicks it into his face. Daniels and AJ slug it out and that just feels appropriate. A blue thunder bomb out of nowhere gets two on Styles.
Release Rock Bottom puts AJ down and the BME gets two as Joe makes the save. Daniels puts a Dragon Sleeper on Joe and hooks the Last Rites (rolling cutter which he didn’t use that often) to send Joe to the floor again. AJ bounces back up and hits the moonsault into the reverse DDT for two. Styles goes up but Daniels hits a palm strike to stop him. Daniels superplexes him down but he can’t cover. Joe comes in and covers both guys for two.
Joe focuses on Daniels and hits his powerbomb into the Boston Crab into the STF sequence so he can call a LONG spot to Daniels. Daniels (wearing a wedding ring) gets the rope so Joe beats up AJ a bit more. He fires off forearms but AJ snaps off the Pele to take over again. The Rack into a neckbreaker gets two for Styles but Daniels is back up. AJ hits a sunset flip into the Clash but Joe makes the save at two. Daniels ducks a charging Joe to send him tot he floor. AJ and Daniels slug it out and Daniels tries the Angel’s Wings. AJ counters into a bridging backdrop and stays on top for the pin and the title.
Rating: A+. Yeah that’s the easy answer but there’s no real other option to go with here. This was about twenty three minutes long and the longest they go without action is maybe 20 seconds. These three have incredible chemistry together and it was a great example of what smaller guys can do. It’s not the best match in TNA history by a mile but it’s the best match by a few feet. Great match.
#2. Bound For Glory 2010.
TNA World Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Kurt Angle vs. Mr. Anderson
Anderson beat D’Angelo Dinero and Hardy and Angle went to a time limit draw, forcing the three way. Hardy debuts new music which should tell you a lot. Anderson gets double teamed to start but Kurt is sent out to the floor. Angle comes back in and throws Jeff to the floor so he can kick at Anderson’s knee in the corner. A release overhead belly to belly gets two on Mr. with Hardy making a save. Jeff gets back into it and picks up Anderson, so Angle Germans both guys at the same time.
Anderson goes outside for the first time but Jeff backdrops Angle up and over the top for a bad landing. Thankfully he’s ok enough to pull Anderson out to the floor for a brawl, but Hardy dives over the top to put everyone down. Back in and Kurt puts Anderson in a chinlock until Jeff makes a save. He goes up top very slowly though, allowing Angle to run the corner for the belly to belly. Jeff pops back up, only to miss the Swanton on Anderson and give Kurt a near fall. Dixie Carter is watching at ringside.
Angle loads up a superplex but Andeson turns it into a Tower of Doom for two on both guys. It’s Angle up first to roll some Germans on Anderson before doing the same on Hardy. He wants to keep things together so there’s an ankle lock to both guys at the same time. Angle goes up top but Anderson’s ankle is fine enough for the rolling fireman’s carry for two. Hardy breaks it up with a Swanton for two on both guys.
Back up and Anderson goes up, only to get caught in a belly to back superplex to give Kurt a near fall. Whisper in the Wind puts Angle down and there’s a Twist of Fate to Anderson. The Swanton crushes Mr. but Angle grabs Jeff’s ankle. Anderson breaks it up with the Mic Check for two on Kurt and everyone gets two off a rollup. Kurt actually hits the moonsault for two on Hardy, who falls out of the ring. Angle escapes the Mic Check but accidentally clotheslines the referee. Everyone knows the big THEY reveal is coming.
Anderson hits the Mic Check on Angle but can’t follow up. This brings out Eric Bischoff with a chair but Hogan comes out (I’m as shocked as you are) before he can swing it. Hulk is on crutches and moving pretty slowly as we have to wait even longer. Bischoff throws the chair down but takes away a crutch. Hardy gets back in to calm things down but Hogan hands him his crutch.
Jeff squares off with Bischoff….and breaks the crutch over Angle’s back. Hogan smiles and Bischoff says that was awesome. Hogan points at Hardy and hugs Eric as they watch Hardy break the other crutch over Anderson’s back. The Twist of Fate is enough to pin Anderson and give Hardy the title.
Rating: B-. The match is good but this was ALL about the booking and big swerve at the end. Hogan and Bischoff weren’t really surprises so it was all down to who was going to side with the new mega heel faction. Hardy winning the title is fine and the best option given who was in there.
Bischoff introduces Jeff as the new World Champion and a smiling Jeff Jarrett comes out. Abyss follows them out and hugs Hogan. Fans throw trash in the ring ala the NWO debut (there were rumors this was planted) as RVD comes out to ask Jeff what he’s doing. Hardy lays him out with a belt shot and poses with THEY to end the show.
Quick recap of the top ten.
And now, I kid you not, this is considered the #1 moment all time in TNA wrestling history.
#1. Impact – August 7, 2014
Here’s all of Dixie’s team but she fires Stephens and Snitsky like the maniac she is. Cue Team 3D and Dreamer with a table but Dixie hides behind everyone she’s paid off. Ray promises to put Dixie through a table and Dreamer says Dixie is everything that’s wrong with this business. Mo nails Dreamer and the brawl is on with the ECW guys taking over. Suddenly Dixie is alone in the ring with 3D but runs when she’s about to take 3D.
Spud swears it’s never going to happen but the entire locker room comes out to throw Dixie to the wolves (Team 3D, not Richards/Edwards). D-Von loads her up (and grabs her in a rather personal spot) and Bully powerbombs Dixie off the middle rope through the table, in what I believe was Dixie’s first bump ever. We even get Bully’s old euphoric look and the announcers are WAY too happy to see this.
I’m not sure how I feel about this. I have no problem with a heel, male or female, taking a big bump to end a story. What I’m not wild on is how everything was announced in advance. This is going to cause some issues in the mainstream media given how violent it was, but that’s the nature of pro wrestling. It felt very scripted though and that’s not a good thing, but the ending was exactly what it should have been.
Here’s the entire top 20 in case you didn’t catch last week.
20. Angle vs. Joe – Lockdown 2008
19. Aries vs. Roode – Destination X 2012
18. Motor City Machine Guns vs. Beer Money – Victory Road 2010
17. WOO Off – Impact – July 7, 2010
16. Ultimate X – Bound For Glory 2009
15. Bully Ray vs. Jeff Hardy – Lockdown 2013
14. Knockouts Title Gauntlet Match – Bound For Glory 2007
13. Karen Angle marries Jeff Jarrett – Impact – March 3, 2011
12. Lashley vs. Roode II – October 29, 2014
11. Sting vs. Hogan – Bound For Glory 2011
10. Sting vs. Angle – Impact – February 19, 2009 (Empty Arena Match)
9. Impact – October 8, 2014 – Team 3D vs. Wolves vs. Hardys (Full Metal Mayhem)
8. Gail Kim vs. Taryn Terrell – Slammiversary 2013 (Last Knockout Standing)
7. Hogan and Bischoff Debut – Impact – January 4, 2010
6. AJ Styles vs. Magnus – Impact – January 9, 2014
5. Bully Ray marries Brooke Hogan – Impact Wrestling – January 17, 2013
4. James Storm vs. Bobby Roode – Impact – November 3, 2011
3. Styles vs. Joe vs. Daniels – Unbreakable
2. Jeff Hardy vs. Kurt Angle vs. Mr. Anderson – Bound For Glory 2010
1. Dixie Carter Goes Through A Table – Impact – August 7, 2014
Overall Rating: C-. I’m just talking about the top ten this week. While last week’s had some funny moments that felt more like honorable mentions than anything else, this week had some incredibly bizarre picks. First off though, let’s knock out the ones that make sense and that I have no issue with. #9 is fine and was pretty easily one of TNA’s best matches of the year. #8 might be the best Knockouts match ever. #7 is indeed huge for TNA. #4, #3 and #2 are all fine either for importance, quality and hype respectfully.
Then on the other side, what in the world is the empty arena match doing on here? Yeah it’s Sting vs. Angle, but those two headlined Bound For Glory together and traded the World Title. Instead though we get probably their least memorable match ever which is only there because it had a lame gimmick attacked. What an odd choice that sounds like someone saw the names on a page and picked the match without looking. #6….eh yeah it was a big moment but it didn’t lead anywhere and is FAR too high up. #5 is a joke.
That leaves us with #1. Yeah it’s a big moment, but the top moment in the history of the company? Really? Not signing Kurt Angle five months after he was defending the World Title at Wrestlemania? Not Elix Skipper walking the cage in an outstanding match that was on every TNA highlight reel until Hogan and Bischoff rebooted the company? On top of that, nothing from Raven’s great run back in 2003? Abyss’ only mention is a cameo at the end of Bound For Glory 2010? He had a great match against Styles at Lockdown 2005, but apparently only Unbreakable happened in the first five years of TNA history.
Overall this list feels like it was thrown together by a slightly more than casual fan of TNA. Some of these are obvious, but for the most part this comes off like a list from the last six years instead of the best ever from TNA. Having stuff in there like the two weddings or the WOO Off (funny moment, but they showed it in the package before they aired the full thing) takes up another spot that could go to something more important. It did hit some spots though including most of the important ones, save for the top one that is.
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Monday Night Raw – December 22, 2014: Out The Same Way You Came In
Monday Night Raw Date: December 22, 2014
Location: Target Center, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler
It’s the Christmas special tonight with special guest host Hulk Hogan. That’s about as good of a name as you’re going to get and maybe we can finally see that Santa With Muscles sequel. I can’t imagine much of note happens tonight and odds are we wrap things up with a big fun tag match. Let’s get to it.
There’s a big Christmas set with trees and gifts.
Piper’s Pit returns tonight with Lana and Rusev, plus Big Show vs. Roman Reigns and Dean Ambrose vs. Bray Wyatt in a Miracle on 34th Street Fight.
Here’s Hulk Hogan as Santa Claus to get things going. The fans chant Hogan but he says it’s Ho Ho Hogan. Tonight he’s giving presents to all of the Superstars and the WWE Universe, including the two matches already mentioned. Before he can hit the catchphrase though, here’s John Cena in red and yellow. Cena says that if there’s one man as iconic as Santa Claus, it’s Hulk Hogan.
For some reason, Cena starts singing Let It Go before throwing it to a clip of the end of last week’s show. The fans want Lesnar, and that’s exactly what Cena wants too. Cena says most people would say the decision should be reversed, but those are the people that get coal in their stockings. Last week he lost to Rollins fair and square, but now he wants a match with Rollins tonight. This brings out Seth Rollins to say the Curb Stomp from last week is why Cena can’t see what’s going on. No one wants to hear Cena’s voice anymore.
Rollins isn’t here to run down their careers because they’re both legends, but it’s Seth’s time. Hogan shouldn’t be in charge tonight because this should still be the Authority’s show. He goes on and on about how this is his time and how Cena was lucky to escape. If Hogan doesn’t grant Rollins his wish of bringing back the Authority, things will go bad for Santa. Cena tells him to shut up and turns down the Authority offer. Hogan instead just makes Cena vs. Rollins for next, thereby rendering the last few minutes basically worthless.
John Cena vs. Seth Rollins
Cena knocks him to the floor to start, drawing the Stooges up onto the apron to give Rollins his first opening. A Blockbuster gets two for Seth and Cena is in early trouble. Rollins knocks him into the corner and hits a running forearm before it’s off to a front facelock. John shoves him off so Rollins grabs the briefcase as a ruse so Mercury can get in a right hand as we go to a break.
We take a break and come back with Cena fighting out of a chinlock and firing off the shoulders, only to have Rollins duck to send Cena outside. There’s the suicide dive to drive Cena into the barricade but he avoids the springboard knee. A low superkick gets two instead but Cena tries a quick AA. Rollins lands on his feet but takes the ProtoBomb. Rollins blocks the STF and nails an enziguri to put both guys down.
Cena comes back by catching Rollins in a Batista Bomb of all things for two and it’s another stalemate. They slug it out with Cena hitting another ProtoBomb and the Shuffle, only to have the Stooges offer a distraction. He backdrops Rollins onto both of them before throwing him back inside for the top rope Fameasser. Cena loads up the top rope AA but gets countered into the running Buckle Bomb for a VERY close two.
The Curb Stomp is countered into the STF but Rollins is quickly in the ropes, only to have Cena drag him back into the middle. Cue the Stooges for the save but Cena beats them up and hits a double AA. The briefcase shot misses and Cena plants Rollins with the AA for the pin at 15:48.
Rating: B. I was hoping for a few more minutes here to make this great but it has to settle for just really good. These two definitely have chemistry and Rollins’ day is going to come soon. He already has the win over Cena last week in the big gimmick match and that’s the one people are going to remember. Very good match here.
Kane stands in front of a wreath and says bah humbug. Literally that’s it.
Jack Swagger vs. Fandango
Neither guy gets an entrance. Jack easily takes Fandango down to start but can’t get the Patriot Lock. A big boot puts Fandango down and a clothesline does the same with the fans not all that interested in what Swagger is doing. The Vader Bomb is almost blocked so the second attempt connects for two. Fandango goes to the apron for some kicks to the head to knock Swagger down and the guillotine legdrop gets the pin at 2:02.
Dolph Ziggler says the ladder match at TLC was one of the hardest matches he’s ever had. Tonight he’s defending against Harper again and knows that Luke is a nightmare come to life. He’s going to give the fans what they want tonight.
Adam Rose vs. R-Truth
The Bunny is still in a neck brace. Feeling out process to start until Rose wants to dance, allowing Truth to roll him up for the pin at 58 seconds.
The Bunny checks on Rose post match and Adam beats him up for I think the third time. He shouts at the Rosebuds and knees the Bunny’s head into the steps. Rose rips off the neck brace and storms past the Rosebuds as he leavs.
Edge and Christian host next week.
Hulk Hogan will be running Smackdown this Friday.
Big Show vs. Roman Reigns
Reigns easily takes him into the corner to start but Big Show easily picks him up and drops Reigns on the top rope. A shoulder gets two and Show sends him into the corner to keep dominating. We hit the chinlock as the fans are already chanting boring. Roman fights back up with a Samoan drop but the Superman Punch is blocked. Instead a dropkick to the leg takes Show down and the Apron Kick staggers him to the floor. Now the Superman Punch knocks Show onto the announcers’ table as Reigns is all fired up. He’s so fired up that he rolls in for the countout win at 4:22.
Rating: D. The match was dull for the most part but at least Big Show didn’t win. I’m assuming this keeps going because a win over Big Show is supposed to mean something, even though EVERYONE has beaten him over the years. I’d assume we get the blowoff at the first Raw of the year or the Rumble and it needs to end with total Reigns domination.
Dean Ambrose says he’s been a good boy all year. He went to the Mall of America to see Santa Claus today but had to settle for a security guard with a white beard. All he wants is Bray Wyatt, because every time a bell rings, Bray Wyatt gets a beating.
Brie Bella vs. Natalya
Fallout from last week where Natalya made Brie tap in a tag match. Natalya quickly takes her down to start but stops to say something to Kidd, allowing Brie to take her down off the ropes. Two Brie Mode running knees to a seated Natalya are good for two and we hit a chinlock as this just keeps going. Back up and Natalya tries a Sharpshooter but gets small packaged only to roll through into one of her own for the pin at 3:19.
Rating: D. I don’t freaking care. Seriously, I just do not care. I like Total Divas but dear goodness they’ve killed whatever interest I have in the Divas division with this Bellas vs. the World stuff. Again, basic wrestling logic says when you have someone vs. the World, THE SOMEONE SHOULD BE THE FREAKING GOOD GUY!
Natalya knocks Nikki off the apron and holds up the title.
Ascension is coming.
Goldust/Stardust vs. Los Matadores/El Torito
Before the match, we hear the Dusts talking about giving their opponents red noses. Los Matadores come out to Christmas music and Torito is now a reindeer. Stardust wants Torito to start and I guess that’s going to be legal. The bull sends him outside to start and dives into an armdrag. Back in and it’s off to Goldust vs. Diego, with the masked man grabbing a sunset flip for two.
Goldust hammers him down and slaps on a chinlock before Stardust snaps the neck across the top rope. Stardust comes in off the top but dives into a dropkick, allowing for the hot tag to Diego. Everything breaks down and the bull tags himself in. Goldust spins Torito around and accidentally hits his brother, allowing Fernando to hit a Backstabber, followed by a Lionsault from Torito for the pin at 3:40.
Rating: D. So let me get this straight. We make the heels underdogs by putting them in a handicap match, only to have them lose to the kids’ comedy character, likely signaling the split of the team who has had a career resurgence over the last year. I’m fine with the eventual split, but could you please THINK on your way there?
Luke Harper says he likes to take this time of year, so he’s going to give Ziggler a beating and take the Intercontinental Title.
Intercontinental Title: Luke Harper vs. Dolph Ziggler
Harper kicks him in the face before the bell to knock the champion out to the floor. A BIG suicide dive takes Ziggler down and Harper loads up a powerbomb, only to settle for the spinning Boss Man Slam. Back in and Ziggler says ring the bell so Harper superkicks him down and hits the Batista Bomb for two. Ziggler tries to fight up but gets catapulted throat first into the bottom rope as we take a break.
Back with Harper knocking Dolph to the floor again. Harper blocks a superkick and slams the champ face first onto the announcers’ table for two. Ziggler misses a Stinger Splash to give Luke two more and a pumphandle throw gets the same. A Michinoku Driver gets the third straight near fall but Ziggler grabs a sunset flip for two of his own.
Back up and the discus lariat is blocked by a superkick but Harper keeps going and lariats Ziggler for two. Harper’s powerbomb is countered into a facebuster and Dolph gets two more off the Fameasser. Another Fameasser is countered and Dolph hits two more superkicks, followed by the Zig Zag to retain at 11:26.
Rating: B. And they’re DONE. Seriously, there is no need for these two to have that same match again for at least six months. I feel like I’ve seen them fight about 50 times in the last month and a half and that’s not a good thing. Yeah the matches have been fun, but it’s the same exact formula every single time. I mean, it’s not exactly Sting vs. Vader out there so move Ziggler on to someone else.
Ziggler dedicates his win to the fans and says no one is taking the title from him.
It’s time for Piper’s Pit with special guests, Lana and Rusev. Lana starts fast, talking about how stupid America is for thinking Santa Claus brings them presents. Piper freaks out (of course) and says you can believe anything you want in America. Lana says then believe in this, and shows us a clip of Rusev taking out Ryback on Smackdown. Rusev says that’s proof he can crush Ryback so the fans chant FEED ME MORE. Maybe Piper would like to be crushed too? Piper say she’s Hot Rod and brings out Ryback with a bow around his chest. The fight is on in the aisle with Ryback dominating but Rusev bails before the Meat Hook.
The announcers list off some very specific areas in which USA is topping the ratings.
We recap the opening segment and Cena vs. Rollins.
Alicia Fox/Emma/Naomi vs. Paige/Cameron/Summer Rae
This is a Santa’s Little Helpers match but Paige doesn’t seem interested in the Christmas theme. To give you an idea of what I’m sitting through here, Emma starts by hitting Summer with her hair. Paige gets a LOUD chant to start before it’s off to Cameron for a Codebreaker for two. Off to Page for a headbutt and a big reaction from the crowd. Lawler brings up Xanta Claus which JBL declares the worst thing ever. Oh come on now it wasn’t THAT bad.
Paige stays on Emma with a chinlock until Emma fights up for a double clothesline. The hot tag brings in Naomi to FINALLY do something interesting as she flips over the top and Stuns Cameron onto the ropes. Everything breaks down with Paige cleaning house until Alicia hits a kind of reverse Fameasser to pin Cameron at 4:22.
Rating: D-. Please…..make it stop.
Ascension comes next week.
Miz vs. Jey Uso
We get a pre tape before the match with Miz offering Mizdow a chance to sing, only to have time run out. Thankfully Cole is there to explain to us that the fans are booing Miz and cheering Mizdow. Miz does the pointing back and forth thing to start the BOO/YAY chant, basically making Cole’s explanation even more worthless.
Miz grabs a headlock to start but gets thrown to the floor, setting up a dive from Jey to take Miz down. Back in and Miz drives a knee into Jey’s ribs before slapping on a chinlock. Jey fights back up with a Samoan drop but has to roll out of the Finale. The Figure Four is countered but Miz rolls him up with a handful of tights for the pin at 3:31.
Rating: D+. Like most of the bad matches tonight, this didn’t have time to go anywhere. The story is still there and it’s still interesting, but they need more than three minutes to set something up. I do like that Miz actually got a win though as it at least keeps the story moving forward.
Preview clip of the Mick Foley episode of Monday Night War. Original air date: September 9.
Here’s Bray to sing It’s The Most Wonderful Time of the Year. He notices how people surround themselves with everyone they love during the holidays. Maybe they do that because it makes them feel safe. Do the people here tonight feel safe? Safety is an illusion that guards you from the other world outside your window. In that world, there is no Santa Claus or sugar plums dancing in your head. There is only evil, pain and sorry. That is Bray Wyatt’s world and he is the king. You can help him create this world by looking to the sky and following the buzzards.
Dean Ambrose vs. Bray Wyatt
Street fight. Dean hammers away in the corner to start and we have a pile of presents at ringside. JBL incorrectly says we haven’t seen a Boot Camp match in thirty years, ignoring the one we saw at Tribute to the Troops between Shawn and HHH in 2005. Yeah that’s a few years back, but JBL was on the show and apparently helped organize it. Anyway Dean takes him to the floor and throws him into a Christmas tree.
Ambrose slams the tree into him but stops to open a present, finding a TV monitor. Thankfully it isn’t plugged in but Dean puts it back in the box anyway. Instead he finds a table with a bow on it but opts to hit a suicide dive (third one of the night) to drive Wyatt through some boxes. He loads up the table and wraps a wreath around his neck but Bray runs up the aisle. That’s fine with Dean who puts the wreath around Bray and nails him, before just chucking a box at Bray’s head.
Another package is opened to reveal a chair but Bray sends him off the stage and through a table as we take the last break of the night. We come back with a long tracking shot from the stage to the ring for a unique visual. Dean fights out of a chinlock but gets slammed down for two and put back in the hold. They head outside again wth the fans asking for ONE MORE TREE. Bray listens to them and sends Ambrose into a tree for a good reaction.
It’s candy cane kendo stick time with Bray nailing Ambrose in the chest over and over. Bray puts the stick in the corner like he did at TLC but Ambrose saves himself. Not that it matters as Wyatt NAILS him with a clothesline for two. Wyatt wedges a chair in the corner and of course goes head first into it. Dean erupts with chops and punches, followed by a bulldog to put Bray down.
The Rebounding Clothesline drops Wyatt again and a White Russian legsweep sets up the middle rope chair elbow for two. Now it’s ladder time but Bray Spiders up and Rock Bottoms Ambrose onto the ladder for a close two. Dean counters Sister Abigail and sends Bray into the ladder to take over again. The standing elbow from the ladder gets two more but Bray fights out of the pile of chairs. He sends Dean face first into the kendo stick in the corner for the pin at 21:24.
Rating: B-. Another good match between these two but just like Ziggler vs. Harper, I’m sick of seeing it. Mix the feuds up for a bit or even just swap the people out with Wyatt vs. Ziggler and Ambrose vs. Harper. I like Bray leaving with the win, but I’m over seeing these two fight anymore.
Naturally Dean sprays him with a fire extinguisher and elbows Bray through the table to end the show, meaning the feud will continue.
Overall Rating: C-. When this show phones it in, they can produce some of the least interesting stuff I’ve seen in a long time. The matches aren’t all terrible for the most part, but there’s just nothing to make me want to keep watching. Cena vs. Rollins, the Intercontinental Title match and the main event were entertaining enough, but the stuff between them dragged this through the floor. As I’ve said many times, the good was good but the bad was awful. Also, as almost always, cut 45 minutes of filler out of this and it’s WAY better. Short version: they’re closing out the year with the same issues they’ve had all year.
Results
John Cena b. Seth Rollins – Attitude Adjustment
Fandango b. Jack Swagger – Guillotine legdrop
R-Truth b. Adam Rose – Rollup
Roman Reigns b. Big Show via countout
Dolph Ziggler b. Luke Harper – Zig Zag
Alicia Fox/Naomi/Emma b. Cameron/Paige/Summer Rae – Reverse Fameasser to Cameron
Miz b. Jey Uso – Rollup with a handful of tights
Bray Wyatt b. Dean Ambrose – Wyatt threw Ambrose into a kendo stick
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
This is one of those wrestlers that I really don’t care for all that much: Terry Taylor.
Taylor got his start back in 1979 and we’ll pick things up in Memphis on January 8, 1983.
Bobby Eaton/Sweet Brown Sugar vs. Jacques Rougeau/Terry Taylor
Rougeau is the Mid-America Champion and Taylor is the Southern Champion. Sugar is more famous as Koko B. Ware. Taylor and Eaton get going to start and things speed up, which you know is going to be at least moderately awesome. Off to Sugar who is immediately taken over in a headlock by Taylor. Rougeau comes in and things slow down a bit. We get a test of strength resulting in Rougeau monkey flipping Sugar down.
Back to Eaton who is taken down by another headlock as things slow down even more. Eaton has black hair here which is an odd look on him. The heels finally wake up and cheat to take over on Jacques. Taylor gets a quick hot tag and cleans house, only to get poked in the eye and taken down. Sugar works on his back and then the arm as the fans are WILD about Taylor. Back to Eaton with a knee drop for no cover.
Sugar comes in again and I think this is 2/3 falls. They’re really bad about letting us know these things in advance. I get that it’s a common thing of the era, but if you’re someone like me who doesn’t get to see this regularly, a little notification would help. Taylor finally gets away from Eaton and it’s off to Rougeau for a quick middle rope dropkick on sugar, good for the first fall.
We start fall #2 with Sugar taking over on Rougeau. Back to Eaton as Jacques is in trouble early on. After some quick offense from Eaton, Sugar comes back in for a fast chinlock. Rougeau misses a cross body out of the corner as Eaton ducks and gets two off of it. Jacques finally makes a comeback but doesn’t tag for some reason. Eaton trips him up coming off the top, allowing Sugar to drop an elbow on him for two.
Rating: C. There’s no time for a third fall so this is going to end in another draw. This wasn’t bad and it was fast paced enough, but I’m not a big fan of Koko and I’m certainly no fan of Taylor. Still though, this was certainly interesting enough to keep my attention for the last fifteen minutes of the show. Not great but not bad so we’ll go right in the middle.
Off to the NWA at Starrcade 1985 after Taylor had started to make a name for himself in the territories.
National Title: Buddy Landel vs. Terry Taylor
Landel is challenging and this is for the Georgia Championship Wrestling main title. Terry, I think the face in this match, takes Buddy down to start and gets some fast near falls off various leverage moves. Landel is basically a Ric Flair tribute wrestler, even using the Nature Boy as his ring name. Buddy fires back but runs into a boot in the corner from the champion.
Terry goes after the arm so Buddy pulls back and BLASTS him with a single right hand to knock Taylor down. That looked great. Here’s JJ Dillon to cheer on his man Landel. I’m not sure why he wasn’t here to start with but whatever. Anyway Terry gets clotheslined down but comes back with a counter to a suplex for two.
Off to a camel clutch by Landel which goes on for a bit as JJ talks a lot of trash. Terry starts to fight out and dropkicks buddy down before standing on his face. That’s a new one. The referee is knocked down so JJ throws in a foreign object and Taylor gets knocked silly for a very close two. Terry comes back and loads up a superplex, only to have Dillon trip him down and let Buddy land on top for the pin and the title.
Rating: D+. Not much to see here but then again neither guy was ever anything of note to begin with. Buddy would be thrown out of the company a few months later due to drug problems and Dusty would get the title as a result. Taylor would go on to the UWF and then the WWF, where he would become a half man half rooster. Wrestling is funny like that sometimes.
Off to the UWF on March 7, 1987.
Tag Titles: Eddie Gilbert/Sting vs. Terry Taylor/Chris Adams
Taylor and Adams are defending. Sting is in street clothes for some reason. Gilbert says Sting has torn his bicep so a guy named Mike Boyette is replacing him for one night. Eddie and Taylor start us off and here’s King Parsons for no apparent reason. The match starts and he jumps on the mic to say hang on a second. He calls out Adams as a jailbird and a sucker, which draws Adams out of the ring. Ok so now back to the match.
It’s Gilbert vs. Taylor still and now off to Adams who throws Gilbert around. Boyette comes in as does Taylor and the heels take over on him. Neckbreaker gets two for Gilbert as does a suplex. Taylor manages to tag as does Gilbert and we’re out of time. The credits roll but Adams hits a quick superkick to retain. I’m not rating it due to the length that we actually saw, since most of the match was the Parsons thing.
Taylor would win the UWF TV Title and defended it in a unification match at Starrcade 1987.
NWA TV Title/UWF TV Title: Nikita Koloff vs. Terry Taylor
This is a unification match between the two Television Titles. Taylor has Eddie Gilbert with him as backup. Taylor grabs a headlock to start but is easily run over by a shoulder block. They head to the corner and amazingly enough we get a clean break. We go to another corner and Taylor tries a cheap shot, only to get punched in the face by Nikita. Taylor cranks on the arm so Nikita sticks his tongue out at him and puts on an armbar of his own.
Terry headbutts out of the hold but Nikita rams him shoulder first into the buckle. More right hands have no effect at all and Nikita cranks away on the wristlock into a hammerlock. Koloff muscles him down into a cover but Taylor makes the ropes and heads outside. Back in and Taylor talks some trash, earning himself a slap in the face. A backdrop gets two on Terry and its time for more stalling on the floor.
Nikita gets tired of waiting and pulls Taylor back in so he can put the hammerlock right back on. After a rope breaks saves Taylor, he pounds on Nikita in the corner but misses an elbow drop. Back to the armbar which has dominated this match so far. They get back up again and Taylor pounds away, only to be choked to the mat. The Russian Sickle misses though and Nikita charges into the buckle. They head outside with Taylor ramming Nikita’s shoulder into the post to take over.
The match slows down a lot as Taylor’s offense isn’t exactly suited to beat on someone like Koloff. He stays on the arm but can’t bring Nikita down into a sunset flip. Koloff blocks a suplex and takes the smaller guy down with a suplex of his own. Nikita has enough of the pounding and fights back with a bunch of right hands in the corner. Taylor comes out with an atomic drop to get two of his own and Koloff’s momentum is stopped cold.
A rollup gets two for Nikita as the fans are finally starting to get into the match. Terry loads up a piledriver but gets backdropped down and punched in the face. They head to the floor again but Gilbert hits Koloff in the knee to give Nikita control again. Off to a figure four on the Russian which gets a few near falls (the figure four can be used as a pin if the guy in the hold doesn’t raise his arms). Koloff finally gets the ropes and beats up Gilbert before hitting the Sickle on Taylor for the pin and the titles.
Rating: D+. This didn’t work for me. It was nearly twenty minutes long and way too much of that was spent in a hammerlock. I’ve never been a fan of Taylor but at least Koloff was there with the hard hitting stuff to make things somewhat interesting. This wasn’t terrible but it was too long and dull for what it was worth.
Soon after this it was off to the WWF as the Red Rooster, the wrestling bird. Somehow he stuck with the character for years and yes it crippled his career. He started off well though, appearing in the main event of Survivor Series 1988.
Team Mega Powers vs. Team Twin Towers
Hulk Hogan, Randy Savage, Koko B. Ware, Hillbilly Jim, Hercules
Big Bossman, Akeem, Ted DiBiase, Red Rooster, Haku
Savage is world champion and this is based on a tag team feud which would be blown off in a huge live match on February 3. Hogan comes out to his own theme music after his partners all used Savage’s. This is actually a plot point as the Mega Powers would explode because Savage thought Hogan was taking his spotlight. It’s a Wrestlemania rematch with Savage vs. DiBiase to start things off.
They knock each other down with DiBaise taking over in the corner. The champ comes back with right hands and a clothesline. Off to Hercules who is feuding with DiBiase as Ted had called Hercules a slave, prompting a face turn. Instead Herc gets the Red Rooster who doesn’t do well at all, which is the idea. Heenan said he could take anyone, even Rooster, to the top. Off to Koko who gets in a shot to Ware and it’s off to Akeem (One Man Gang).
Haku comes in with a chop but misses a legdrop and it’s back to Herc. I’m not sure why when you have Hogan and Savage on the apron but whatever. Now it’s off to Hogan and the place erupts. He takes Haku down and drops some elbows before bringing Hillbilly in for a quick main event opportunity. Akeem comes in and runs Jim over before bringing Rooster in. Even Gorilla found that stupid. Jim doesn’t do much to Rooster so here’s Koko instead.
Rooster rams Koko’s head into the buckle, but see, Koko is black so it doesn’t hurt. A missile dropkick gets two on Red and it’s off to Hogan. The big boot sets up Savage’s elbow and it’s 5-4. Hogan’s team has a massive in ring celebration while Bossman’s team hits the floor. Heenan rips into Rooster as we get Savage vs. Haku. Haku chokes on the ropes but Hogan makes a blind tag and, brace yourselves, actually loses a slugout!
Haku hits a nice dropkick but gets slammed down and it’s off to Herc. A suplex puts Hercules down and it’s off to Akeem. A splash misses and it’s off to Hillbilly who fires away with all he’s got. Jim’s big boot doesn’t take Akeem down and a clothesline floors Jim. The 747 (big splash) gets the pin and we’re tied up. Koko comes in and dropkicks Akeem in the back before wisely bringing in Hogan to do the heavy lifting.
Back to the world champ with a double ax to the head but they can’t knock Akeem down. Hercules pounds away a bit as does Koko with a dropkick only sending Akeem into the corner. Akeem shrugs it off and hits Koko once to take over. Off to Boss Man who hits his namesake slam to make it 4-3. It’s Hogan in now and this is the match everyone has been wanting to see.
Hogan pounds him into the corner and everyone left on Hogan’s team (Hogan, Savage, Hercules vs. Bossman, Akeem, DiBiase, Haku) gets in a shot. Hogan easily slams the then bigger Boss Man but he charges into a spinebuster. That looked really good too. Back to Akeem and the big men hit a double elbow to take Hulk down. Off to Haku who gets in some shots to the neck before tagging in Boss Man. I wonder why they’ve gone so long since having DiBiase in there.
Naturally as I say that he comes in and clotheslines Hogan down. A falling punch gets two but Hogan Hulks Up. Off to Hercules for some revenge and some hard clotheslines and punches. Virgil trips him up though and a school boy eliminates Hercules. It’s now 4-2 but Savage charges in and rolls up DiBiase to pin him within about ten seconds.
Haku comes in again but misses a headbutt, allowing Hogan to get the tag. Something like a superkick takes Hulk down and it’s back to Boss Man for some headbutts tot he back. Akeem comes in for his usual shots before it’s back to Haku again, who suplexes Hulk for two. It’s nerve hold time followed by the Boss Man Slam for no cover. Instead Boss Man goes up and misses a splash.
The hot tag brings in Savage who cleans house. Slick trips Randy up and things slow down again. Boss Man puts on a bearhug as Slick goes after Liz, grabbing her by the arm. Hulk makes the save and DRILLS Slick with a right hand. The Towers go to handcuff Hogan to the rope but Boss Man gets counted out in the process. Boss Man beats on Hogan with the nightstick and then goes to beat on Savage. Akeem helps with that, drawing a DQ for himself and getting us down to Hogan and Savage vs. Haku.
Hogan is still cuffed to the rope though so it’s basically a one on one match. Haku beats on Savage as the camera is on the Towers leaving. Slick has the keys and is taunting Hogan with them. Savage holds the rope and avoids a kick but there’s no Hogan to tag. Haku accidentally superkicks Slick and Liz raids his pocket to get the key. Hogan is freed and Haku hits a top rope splash for two. Hot tag to Hogan and since it’s 1988, you can fill in the ending for yourself.
Rating: C+. While not great, this was better than the previous match to be sure. This would be part of the Mega Powers Exploding, as Savage would be jealous of Hogan for getting the glory and not being there for him earlier in the match. It’s no classic or anything, but 80s Hogan is always fun.
Off to Saturday Night’s Main Event with #19.
Tito Santana vs. Terry Taylor
Remember that Heenan is on a mic so we can hear everything that he’s saying. Taylor is undefeated somehow. George Steinbrenner is here. They speed it up so if nothing else it’s interesting looking. Heenan argues with Steinbrenner which is interesting as all goodness obviously. We shift over to a more common style of match. This is interesting as it’s mainly just Bobby talking and you rarely hear from him in the manager role.
After some stupid stuff from Taylor Heenan goes off on him and they shove each other. This is Santana doing most of the work. Keep in mind that I can’t stand Taylor at all. This is horribly boring stuff. Santana gets a rollup for the pin. A boring argument starts, leading to Taylor vs. Brooklyn Brawler of all things. Heenan gets beaten up afterwards.
Rating: D. This was about as boring as you can ask for. It was all storyline but they left out the interesting part of the storyline. This was just boring as all goodness and I couldn’t care less. Do you have any idea how hard it is to make a Tito Santana match dull? Granted it didn’t help that the focus was on Steinbrenner.
From Saturday Night’s Main Event #20.
Red Rooster vs. Brooklyn Brawler
The match starts while we’re in a break and it’s a squash. It’s a minute long and Rooster wins with a small package. I think that’s longer than the “blowoff” of Rooster vs. Heenan at Mania.
And here is that match from Mania V.
Red Rooster vs. Bobby Heenan
There’s actually a backstory: Heenan managed Rooster but said he was limited so Rooster dumped Heenan. Bobby is hurt so he brings the Brooklyn Brawler with him. Those sentences take as long to type as the match lasts as Rooster hits him once, Heenan misses a charge into the post, gets whipped into the buckle and the match is over in 30 seconds. To recap, Rooster beat him with an Irish whip.
That’s about the extent of the good in the Rooster run but we’ll wrap it up with the last two big matches in 1989, starting at Summerslam.
Mr. Perfect vs. Red Rooster
Perfect is still perfect at this point. They shove each other around to start until Hperfect shoves him down and hits a hiptoss. Things speed up a bit with both guys running the ropes and Perfect trying a slam. Rooster slips down the back and tries a slam of his own but can’t get Perfect up in a weird spot. Perfect sends him to the floor for a second and pounds away back inside, only to be shoved to the floor by Rooster. Perfect wins a quick slugout on the floor before going inside for the PerfectPlex and a very fast pin.
Rating: D. This was very odd with the match finishing out of nowhere after no build at all. The match had to be cut for time or maybe an injury because there’s no way this was the match they were planning. Or maybe they didn’t have time because we needed Dusty to have an even longer chinlock. These two are capable of having a far better match though and did many times.
And ending at Survivor Series.
Dream Team vs. Enforcers
Dusty Rhodes, Brutus Beefcake, Tito Santana, Red Rooster
Big Bossman, Bad News Brown, Rick Martel, Honky Tonk Man
This is mainly over Dusty vs. Bossman which is Dusty’s first big feud in the company. Dusty stole the nightstick and the hat which has ticked Bossman off. The rest of the guys are there because it’s Survivor Series and we need six more guys. Brutus’ music was awesome, just like the names for the teams. Tito and Honky start things off and for the third straight year Honky and Brutus are in the opening match on this show. I’m not sure what that means.
Tito takes over quickly but Honky gets in one kick before RUNNING over to make a tag to Martel. Rick dropkicks Tito down as Jesse talks about the now broken up Strike Force. Tito atomic drops Martel for two and everyone but Bad News gets in the ring at once. Nothing happens but it’s cool to see. Brown not getting in is perfect for his character too. Off to the Boss Man who is immediately armdragged down by Tito.
Off to Dusty who pounds away as the fans go nuts. Chicago was a big NWA town so it’s easy to see why he’s popular. Brutus comes in to another pop but Boss Man takes him down with a few shots to the back. Honky comes in but misses a fist drop. Beefcake hammers away but Martel makes a blind tag and takes over on Brutus. Rooster comes in and the place goes quiet. When you can’t get a reaction in Chicago, things aren’t that good for you.
Martel hits some knees to the face and it’s off to Honky who dances a lot. Boss Man comes in and they slug it out with the big man taking over with ease. Martel comes back in and drops some knees but gets rolled up for two. Back to Honky as Rooster is in trouble. I’m digging these four man versions already as the match seems less crowded and the guys can stay in the ring a little longer. Rooster and Honky collide and it’s a double tag to give us another battle of Strike Force.
Tito goes loco on Martel and beats him down, but Martel breaks the figure four. Santana tries an O’Connor Roll but Martel rolls through and grabs the trunks for the first elimination. Dusty comes in next and hits a dropkick (and a decent one) followed by the big elbow…for two? We must be in the WWF. Brutus comes in to work on the arm and stomp on Martel’s face when he tries a reverse monkey flip.
Rooster comes in and can’t seem to figure out what to do with a headlock. Martel is like screw you you nitwit and backbreaks him down. Off to Boss Man who slaps on a bearhug. Gorilla keeps calling Brutus the team captain but the team is called the Dream Team and Dusty came out last. Rooster bites out of the hold and Boss Man tags Bad News who isn’t interested in coming in.
After Bad News gets pulled in he takes over because he’s fighting a freaking rooster. Just like last year though, Bad News accidentally gets hit by his partner and he walks out. It’s three on three now and we have Boss Man vs. Brutus. After the Barber gets beaten on some more it’s off to Honky for a belly to back suplex. Out of nowhere Brutus hits a high knee to Honky for the fast pin, making it 3-2 (Brutus, Dusty and Rooster vs. Boss Man and Martel).
Martel immediately comes in and puts a chinlock on Brutus which doesn’t last long. The second version of it does though as the match slows down a lot. A backbreaker puts Brutus down and he goes into the buckle a few times. Brutus grabs a sunset flip again out of nowhere to eliminate Martel and it’s 3-1. Brutus tags in Rooster to throw a bone to Boss Man and after some punches from Rooster, the Boss Man Slam gets the fast pin and it’s 2-1.
Dusty is in next but it’s quickly off to Brutus for some knees to the chest. Back to Dusty as the good guys are using some intelligence (yes, Dusty and Brutus are using intelligence) with the fast tags. Boss Man gets whipped into the ropes and Dusty takes him down with a cross body, likely rupturing at least three vital organs of Boss Man and getting the final pin. I may have been right about those organs.
Rating: C+. Nothing special here but it was fine for an opener. The fans liked most of the good guys and other than Rooster, that was a solid set of guys. The match wasn’t competitive or anything for the most part after the first five minutes but there was nothing particularly bad about it I guess.
It was back to WCW soon after this and we’ll start at Halloween Havoc 1990.
Bill Irwin vs. Terry Taylor
This is before Taylor is computerized and he’s no longer a farm animal. Jack Brickhouse of the Chicago Cubs is on commentary here. He’s a commentator so at least he has an idea here. The ring mat is red here and the buckles are orange if I forgot to mention that. Taylor works on the arm to start and things slow down a lot already. Irwin is a cowboy kind of guy so he has the bandana around his neck.
Taylor comes back with a missile dropkick for two. He takes it to the mat and hooks a headlock to slow things down again. Brickhouse used to be a wrestling announcer apparently. Irwin takes over and rams Taylor into his knee. A knee drop misses and it’s back to the headlock. Brickhouse snaps off a bunch of names he’s watched over the years, including Gotch and Hackenschmidt. Dang how old is this guy? His age would mean he couldn’t have seen them so apparently the guy is a liar. Good to know.
Irwin takes over again and the announcers insult Gordon Solie a bit. Brickhouse names off some other guys he used to watch, most of which you’ve heard of. He also knows most of the modern guys which is interesting. This guy could be a regular commentator. The match is being TOTALLY ignore but to be fair, it’s nothing of note with mostly rest holds. Irwin puts on a chinlock as JR is talking football.
There’s a boring chant going on now and it’s completely appropriate. Dangerously tries to get the commentary back on the match but I really don’t care to hear about it. Sleeper goes on as Brickhouse talks about Verne Gagne developing that move. I seem to remember it being Johnny Weaver but Gagne was certainly around first so maybe it was him. Then again it’s just a choke so it’s kind of a stretch to say any one person invented it.
A bridging belly to back gets two for Taylor but he walks into a tombstone for the same. Now we’re talking about the WCW Top Ten which was one of those things that was around for years but it never really meant anything. They head outside and Irwin is knocked off the ramp to the floor. Taylor takes over and drops a knee for two. Irwin chokes some more but gets caught in a sunset flip for two. A small package gets the same for Rooster Man, as does a rollup. Irwin puts him down with a spinebuster but doesn’t cover him properly, allowing Taylor to roll him up for the pin.
Rating: D-. What a boring match. Brickhouse, a guy that would have been in his mid 70s at this point, was by far the most interesting thing here. He seemed interested in being there and was talking wrestling almost the entire match, which is far more than you’ll get from most guest commentators. The match itself sucked as no one wanted to see it and neither guy did anything to make it better.
Taylor would turn heel soon after this and had a match at WrestleWar 1991.
Z-Man vs. Terrance Taylor
Taylor is part of the York Foundation which is kind of a business organization type of heel stable. It was just starting at this point and would eventually get going in a few more months. This is No DQ after three previous matches didn’t have a clean ending. The idea here is that Alexandra York (Terri) has a computer that gives Terry a perfect plan for the match. They start with some basic stuff and Terry bails to York for instructions. They try it again and Terry gets punched in the face again.
After more talking with York it’s time for another punch from Z-Man and it’s down to the mat. Zenk drills him again and it’s time to talk to the computer. They slug it out and Zenk sends him into the ropes for a backdrop for two. Time for the headlock again as this match keeps starting and stopping which is what gets annoying about a lot of matches.
The headlock stays on even after Z-Man runs up the corner for a headlock takeover. A belly to back finally breaks the hold and Nikita Koloff is in the audience. Out to the floor and Taylor rams him into the barricade and chokes away a bit with a camera cord. Back in and a backbreaker gets two. Off to a camel clutch and let’s look at Hiro Matsuda in the crowd. Ok then.
Zenk comes back with a clothesline over the top which is fine because it’s a No DQ match, even though a clothesline over the top has been perfectly legal in every other match ever in WCW. They head to the floor again and Z-Man gets sent into the barricade. Z-Man comes back with a neckbreaker and superkick for two. This is before Shawn popularized the move so it looked a bit more exciting back then. An enziguri puts Taylor down for two but as Z-Man comes off the top with the cross body, York distracts the referee. Zenk yells at him long enough to get rolled up with tights for the pin.
Rating: C. This wasn’t bad but it didn’t get better until after they got done with the stupid computer nonsense. These feuds went on for a long time and eventually the Foundation grew into a cool and complex four way feud which almost got over huge but various things screwed it up. Decent stuff here though.
He then opened Great American Bash 1991 in one of the worst ideas ever to open one of the worst shows ever.
Bobby Eaton/PN News vs. Steve Austin/Terrence Taylor
Now those are some pretty weird teams. Austin is TV Champion and has Lady Blossom and her rack of AWESOME with him. Oh, and this is a SCAFFOLD match. It’s the capture the flag version too, meaning that you have to have these guys crawl across the scaffold, get the flag and bring it back to the other side. You can also shove both opponents off the scaffold but since that would be entertaining, that’s not going to happen.
The heels (Austin and Taylor) stall for fear of going up and possibly, you know, dying. After a few minutes we’re ready to “go”. Eaton walks out to the middle and Taylor inches out to him. The scaffold is MAYBE three feet wide so they’re barely able to move. Austin comes out and they stand around a bit more. Actually there is a reason for these two to be fighting: Eaton lost the TV Title to Austin.
Austin almost falls down as we’re waiting for contact. Their hands touch after thirty seconds and Austin hits a weak punch. Eaton slams Austin’s head into the scaffold, drawing Taylor out to help. This match is almost two minutes in now so you can see what I’m dealing with here. The fat man (News) comes out after Austin so Austin backs up again. Taylor comes out instead and News shoves him into Austin at the end of the scaffold, shaking the whole thing.
News and Austin fight in the corner as Taylor and Eaton go to the other side. There are railings there which give the guys a bit more security so they don’t have to be so worried about falling. Oh and the flags are the same colors so you can’t tell which is which anyway. News and Eaton are both on their stomachs and you can see that the scaffold is a freaking piece of plywood.
All four go into the heel corner so Eaton grabs the flag and casually walks across for the win. Wait that isn’t a win as Eaton comes back with the flag. Lady Blossom hands Austin some spray of some sort which blinds both of Austin’s opponents. Not that it matters as Eaton and News are declared the winners anyway.
Rating: Agoobwa. WOW. I didn’t think it was possible for an opening match to be this horrible. I was very, very wrong. I mean……WHAT IN THE FREAKING WORLD WERE THEY THINKING??? You had four guys (one of them over 400lbs) who were afraid that they would fall and break a major limb and you give them three feet to walk around on? Back in the 80s they had some of these and while they sucked, at least there were A, falls and B, A REASON FOR THE GUYS TO FIGHT! Horrible, horrible thing (it’s certainly not a wrestling match) but this isn’t on the guys in it one bit. They did all they could out there safely.
Back to regular TV at Clash of the Champions XVIII with Taylor now full heel as Terrance Taylor and part of the York Foundation.
Terrance Taylor/Tracy Smothers vs. Brian Pillman/Marcus Alexander Bagwell
Neither team has ever worked together before but injuries changed the original match. The York Foundation is broken up and Taylor is now just the Taylor Made Man and wears nice clothes. Pillman and Taylor get things going as we hear about Pillman wanting a rematch against Liger after losing the Light Heavyweight Title.
Pillman scores with some quick atomic drops and knocks down an invading Smothers as well. Taylor comes back with a backbreaker for two on Brian but everything quickly breaks down with the good guys clearing the ring. They hit stereo dives over the top to put both villains down and the fans are very pleased. Back in and Smothers scores with a back elbow to Bagwell’s jaw and a clothesline gets two. Taylor comes in and snaps Bagwell’s neck for two but Tracy’s splash hits knees.
Pillman comes back in by jumping over the top and hammering away on Tracy. A big spinwheel kick gets a two count but Taylor comes in sans tag, allowing for a double team when the referee is with Bagwell. Taylor suplexes Pillman from the ring to the floor and brings him back inside for a gutwrench powerbomb and a close two count. Tracy comes back in and knocks Pillman off the apron with another jumping back elbow. Pillman slingshots in with a clothesline to nail Tracy and everything breaks down again. Brian dropkicks Taylor into Tracy, knocking him into a sunset flip to give Bagwell the pin.
Rating: C+. This was a formula of taking four fast guys and putting them into a match. Bagwell gets to have some ring time and earn a big more experience which is all you can do with a young guy like him. Everyone else looked good and the whole match worked very well. Two good matches in a row to start the show.
Here he is with another very talented guy at Halloween Havoc 1991.
Terrance Taylor vs. Bobby Eaton
This should be good. Taylor slaps him around to start so Eaton offers him a free shot. Eaton is the face here and it’s still York Foundation time for Taylor. He takes Eaton down with an armdrag but the second one is countered. Bobby speeds things up and Taylor bails to the floor. They go to the floor and Eaton is sent into the barricade, but he backdrops Taylor over the railing and into the crowd for a second.
Back in and Taylor tries to hide. Eaton blasts him with a right hand for two and it’s off to a hammerlock. Rooster Boy gets out with a jawbreaker and they go to the ramp. Eaton slams him down and hits a knee/splash off the top to crush Taylor. Back in and Taylor sends him through the ropes and into the barricade again. Taylor uses the break to go over to the computer and York for more assistance.
The solution is apparently a corner clothesline followed by a knee drop for two. They head to the ramp again and Eaton is put down by a gutwrench powerbomb. Eaton slowly gets back in and takes a top rope splash for two. We hit the chinlock which is broken somewhat quickly but a knee to the ribs stops it dead. Taylor gets some more computer advice and apparently is willing to settle for the countout.
That doesn’t work and Bobby comes off the top with a sunset flip for two. Off to a reverse chinlock by Taylor but Eaton comes out of it with a jawbreaker, just like Taylor did to him earlier. Taylor’s Vader Bomb hits knees and it’s time for Bobby’s comeback. He pounds away in the corner and suplexes Taylor down for two. A swinging neckbreaker puts Terry down but Eaton goes up and gets crotched. Taylor’s superplex is broken up and Eaton hits the Alabama Jam for the pin.
Rating: B. This was a great back and forth match. It’s amazing how much more bearable Taylor is when he isn’t acting like a bird. The computer gimmick got annoying after awhile but having him wrestle straight worked pretty well. This wasn’t quite a masterpiece but it was a very solid sixteen minute match and a nice change of pace.
And then a title match at WrestleWar 1992.
US Tag Titles: Greg Valentine/Terry Taylor vs. Freebirds
It amazes me how far tag wrestling has fallen. There are midcard tag titles here. The Freebirds are faces here and for the life of me I don’t get what was seen in Valentine and Taylor as a team. There are two rings here which is always kind of strange but it’s still cool. The Freebirds both use the DDT here so they’re looking for the quick win. Fonzie from ECW is the referee here.
Taylor and Hayes start us off and the fans more or less hate Taylor. At least they’re smart. It’s just strange seeing the Freebirds as faces. Also Greg Valentine is a champion in 1992. What’s weird about this picture? A backhand chop is a judo chop according to Jim. For those of you unsure, the Freebirds are Jimmy Garvin (no one of note really) and Michael Hayes, who is currently the head writer for Smackdown.
ALL Freebirds so far but this is a long match so there’s plenty of time left. We’re about eight minutes in and the champions haven’t been on offense longer than maybe 20 seconds yet. I could watch Valentine fall on his face every day. It’s just perfectly done. The heels take over for a bit and I emphasize the bit part since Garvin takes over again to get us to even.
Hayes gets a hot tag and cleans house. The crowd is hot tonight which gives me a good feeling about the main event. Hayes gets hit in the back of the head with the Five Arm, Terry’s finisher but it only gets two. Fans are completely behind the Freebirds. Taylor gets a gutwrench powerbomb for two on Hayes which is a move I wish we saw more often. We’re nearly fifteen minutes in and Jesse says it’s too early to go for the figure four.
Valentine works on the arm which is just weird for him but whatever. This has been a good match so I can live with that. Another hot tag to Garvin and he cleans house. Everything goes insane and Garvin gets a DDT on Taylor for the pin and the titles. Solid opener and the crowd is happy so everything worked. The titles would be retired in July so it’s not like it means much.
Rating: B. Great opener here as the crowd was way into it and the title change works well to open a show. Starting a show with a good tag match is pretty much a universally good idea and this was no exception. I’m not a fan of any of these four but this was a very solid match and has me wanting to watch more of the show, which is exactly the point of an opener.
It was back to the WWF soon after this, thankfully minus the clucking. We’ll pick things up on Raw, February 22, 1993.
Crush vs. Terry Taylor
It’s another squash as Crush gets to throw Taylor around for a bit. The interesting note during this match: Vince talks about Bill Clinton appointing Hulk to head up his physical fitness council. That’s all well and good, but we get a phone call from “Arnold Schwarzenegger” (Bartlett doing a decent impression), ranting about how he wants that position. Taylor hooks a chinlock and a jawbreaker before Crush throws him off. A few power moves set up the Headvice on Taylor for the submission.
Rating: D. Seriously, WHAT IS UP WITH THIS BARTLETT GUY??? I get that he’s a comedian, but that begs the question: if you want comedy, why is Bobby Heenan not doing this role? He’s a funny guy and actually knows what he’s talking about in wrestling. Bartlett is certainly trying but he’s just not in the right role here.
Then it was back to WCW where we’ll wrap things up with a title match on Saturday Night, January 1, 1994.
TV Title: Steven Regal vs. Terry Taylor
They tie up to start and fight to the corner for a break. After a quick standoff they head back to the technical chain style. Taylor gets a nice bridge to break out of a wristlock but Regal pulls him right back to the mat. The fans chant USA because Regal is an evil dirty foreigner. Back to the mat and Regal nips up to get out of a test of strength position. This is going to be a mat based match and I didn’t expect anything else.
Taylor hooks a body scissors with his legs which goes on for awhile. Tony talks about Flair being the new world champion, which is interesting when you consider this was taped about three weeks before Starrcade. Taylor keeps control and goes after the arm. Regal nips up again but Terry takes him right back down. They go back to the mat and Taylor works the arm even more.
The fans aren’t exactly thrilled with this, but then again they all got in free which was a very common practice at this time. The mat based technical stuff isn’t helping anything here. Regal takes over and it’s more arm work. Now for a change of pace, Taylor works on the arm! Regal gets up but Terry hooks a rollup for two. We’ve gone 12 minutes (not quite) out of the 15 and they fight over a butterfly suplex. They fight over a backslide which gets two for the challenger. That’s Taylor if you weren’t sure of it. Off to a pinfall reversal sequence with Regal getting the pin off a handful of trunks.
Rating: D+. Technically this was fine but at the same time the match itself was really boring. The arm work is a very scientific style but as you can see with the crowd like this, they don’t want to see technical stuff. I love the old school style but stuff like this gets very boring. These TV Title matches were usually a lot like this one though, which is why the big showdowns were much better.
Terry Taylor is a guy that was a very solid hand in the ring but he never got out of the midcard. Granted a big part of that is due to being best known as a wrestling bird. On top of that there’s his name. Wrestling is usually about masculine names and Terry really doesn’t work, especially when it’s just a guy in trunks. He was good in the ring, but not good enough to overcome all that.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
We’ll start with the most recent, on December 4’s NXT. This was the final push before R-Evolution with Neville saying Sami has had a great career and has a lot to be proud of. Zayn wasn’t going to accept that though and cut the promo of a lifetime, talking about how no one, including Neville, could tell him what he could be proud of because nothing he did mattered without that NXT Championship. I was drooling to see these two go at it for the title the next week and they blew the roof off the place.
I would put Rock, Lana and Rusev in this, but that promo just killed Rusev’s heat and there was no way he’d ever win another match again and would wind up selling meat out of a truck in Moscow right?
In the height of the “Where’s Punk” spring, Paul Heyman came out to Punk’s music in Chicago and sat down in the middle of the ring. The fans were begging to see Punk, but within a few minutes, Heyman had them thinking about the Undertaker vs. Brock Lesnar at Wrestlemania. It took a master to get them off that topic but he was able to do it in a matter of minutes. That’s pure talent and only Heyman could have pulled it off.
Speaking of Heyman, he might have topped himself a month later in New Orleans. The previous night he had led Brock Lesnar to victory over the Undertaker, doing the unthinkable of breaking the Streak. This was evil winning and getting to give the mother of all victory speeches. Heyman talking about how Lesnar was here to put tears in children’s eyes was glorious and bragging about Undertaker collapsing and going to the hospital in a “shoot” is about as evil as you’ll ever find. He capped it off by talking about how Lesnar is the one to do everything he says he’s done and now he’s the 1 in 21-1. “So many people have come up and says “I could have broken the Streak.” “WELL WHY DIDN’T YOU???”
The night wasn’t done yet because the Ultimate Warrior came out and gave literally the final promo of his life, talking about how his spirit will live forever and how one day every man breathes his last breath. And then he DIED. There is no way you can ever top that drama, no matter what you do.
We have to get Daniel Bryan in here and we’ll go to Memphis to do it. Bryan wanted a shot at the title at Wrestlemania and was willing to do whatever he had to do to get it. His idea was to hijack the show by having about 100 fans in Bryan shirts take over the ring until HHH agreed to a match with Bryan at Wrestlemania, as well as a spot in the WWE Title match if he won. He kept pushing and pushing until HHH finally snapped and gave Bryan everything he wanted. This set the stage for Wrestlemania and gave the fans everything they wanted all in one great package.
But this one topped them all.
On April 6, 2014 in the New Orleans SUPERdome, Hulk Hogan was in the ring to open Wrestlemania XXX as the official host. He talked about how there are Wrestlemania moments and you never know when one is going to happen. And then the glass shattered.
I’ve been to a lot wrestling shows over the years. I’ve seen a LOT of wrestling over the years. I’ve seen almost everything there is to see in wrestling and am a very jaded fan as a result. When that glass shattered though, my heart skipped a beat and my jaw actually fell open. The pop was incredible and they somehow topped it when the Rock came out a few minutes later. The three biggest stars in the history of wrestling standing in the ring together for the first and only time ever.
There’s a famous photo of Elvis Pressley, Jerry Lee Lewis and Johnny Cash (plus Carl Perkins) at Sun Studios in Memphis called the Million Dollar Quartet. That shot of Austin, Hogan and Rock together could be called the Billion Dollar Trio and there will never be a better collection of talent in one place.
Impact Wrestling – December 17, 2014: It Ends With Old Guys
Impact Wrestling Date: December 17, 2014
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Don West, Taz
Hosts: Christy Hemme, Jeremy Borash
Since the show is leaving Spike, this episode is the first half of a Top 20 Moments in TNA History and is airing at 11pm instead of the usual 9pm timeslot. It gets even better next week with the show starting at midnight on Christmas Eve night. When they bury a show they really bury it. Let’s get to it.
As usual I’ll be posting the full versions of any matches that are clipped.
20. Lockdown 2008.
TNA World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Samoa Joe
In a cage with Angle defending and Joe’s career on the line. They haven’t had a PPV match in awhile so we get a recap of their whole history. This is treated more like an MMA fight with Angle in black shorts instead of his usual singlet and MMA fighter Frank Trigg on commentary. Before the match, Angle has Karen thrown out from her front row seat.
They even start by standing in MMA stances before trading leg kicks. Joe gets a leg bar but Angle is almost immediately in the ropes. Down to the mat with Angle hammering away at Joe’s guard as this is getting old fast. Joe gets the better of some mat grappling before it’s back to the stupid MMA stances. Angle finally snaps off a suplex and puts on a side choke until Joe makes the ropes.
Off to a front facelock from the champion before a quick German suplex gets two. A shot to the knee puts Joe down again and we hit the figure four. It’s about time we got to some wrestling. Joe finally turns it over but Angle is right next to the ropes. Angle cranks on the leg again but Joe chops his way out of it. That’s fine with Kurt as he slaps on a quickly broken headlock. Seriously a headlock in a cage match?
Back up and Joe nails a clothesline to put Kurt down but he has to shake his knee a bit. Kurt goes to the middle rope but gets caught by the enziguri. The MuscleBuster is countered and Angle hooks the ankle lock. Joe rolls out and gets two out of the release Rock Bottom out of the corner. The powerbomb into the Walls of Jericho into the STF into the crossface has Angle screaming.
Kurt grabs the ankle to finally escape but Joe pulls Angle back down into the crossface in the middle of the ring. Angle finally rolls over to get the ropes but Joe puts it right back on. Another rope is grabbed and the Angle Slam gets two. The champion puts on the ankle lock but he spins one too many times and gets pulled into the Clutch, only to use the referee’s shirt to make it to the ropes. Another Angle Slam attempt is countered and Joe sends him face first into the cage (first time it’s been used) and the MuscleBuster FINALLY gives Joe the title.
Rating: B. This got much better once they stopped the stupid MMA stuff and had a wrestling match. There was no need to have a cage here as it was only used once towards the end, which could have been replaced by a kick or something like that. It’s a good match and a good moment, but at the end of the day this was too overdone for what it needed to be.
19. Destination X 2012.
TNA World Title: Austin Aries vs. Bobby Roode
Feeling out process to start without a lot of offense either way. After about a minute and twenty seconds they lock up and Roode grabs the arm. Aries grabs the arm to counter but gets run over. They’re still in slow mode and that’s fine. A rolling cradle gets two for Aries and he hooks an STF. They hit the mat and Roode slaps him in the back of his head a few times. Now Aries takes him down to the mat and hits a slingshot tope for two.
Roode hooks a headscissors on the mat which is quickly broken up and they head outside. Aries hits a top rope ax handle to the floor but his missile dropkick misses back inside and Roode takes over. Roode hooks a chinlock but a knee drop misses. Aries fires off with kicks and tries the Last Chancery but it doesn’t go on right. Roode goes to the floor but avoids the suicide dive, sending Aries into the barricade.
Roode hooks a bodyscissors back in the ring followed by a hard whip into the corner. He talks a lot of trash to the downed Aries and hits a combination F5/Samoan Drop for two. Off to a body vice on the mat and Aries is cut on the nose. Aries makes a comeback and fires off forearms and chops in the corner. They slug it out and a discus forearm puts Roode down. A clothesline puts Roode on the floor and there’s the suicide dive which connects this time.
This time the missile dropkick hits as well but Aries charges into a powerslam out of the corner. Aries comes back again and tries the Last Chancery again, but Roode is pretty bad at selling it. Roode counters into a Crossface but Aries counters right back into the Chancery. Aries gets in another shot to the head and goes up for the 450, but Roode moves. Aries rolls through it anyway but walks into the spinebuster for two.
The champion sends him shoulder first into the post and goes back to the Crossface. That stays on for a long time but Aries makes the rope. Roode is frustrated now so he grabs the belt, only to have it taken away by the referee. That allows the champ to hit a low blow for two. Roode argues with the referee and gets shoved into the corner, allowing Aries to hit the corner dropkick.
Aries tries the brainbuster but Roode escapes and the ref is bumped. Roode hits a belt shot for a VERY close two. The fisherman’s suplex is countered into a small package for two and Aries punts Roode in the head. He grabs the brainbuster out of nowhere for the pin and the title in a huge shocker.
Rating: B+. Another good match to close the show here, but the point of this was in the surprise. This felt like a big moment and it was the right call to pull the trigger here. This show was designed around the X-Division and having the longest reigning champion win the world title here was the right way to make the X Title look like it can be something comparable to the world title. Good match too.
18. Victory Road 2010.
Tag Titles: Beer Money vs. Motor City Machine Guns
Ok so the Guns more or less have to win here. I like the Guns’ music. Storm and Shelley start us off. They’re doing a slow build to start us off as Taz says the Guns are the best team from their city, including the Tigers. Uh, deep? We get a Mel Torme reference of all things as we’re talking about tap dancing. Beer Money takes over and after a double vertical suplex they do their thing.
Shelley is getting beaten on. This is a good match so far so it’s hard to make jokes. Well other than Taz and Tenay who are always jokes. Ah there’s Sabin. I like him better than Shelley I think. We crank it up a bit and Sabin hits a running punt on Storm while he’s on the apron and Storm is on the floor. The crowd is getting back into it a bit too. Eye of the Storm gets two on Sabin.
I’m sorry for the excessive play by play here but that’s the main thing going on here. That made less than no sense but just go with it. We’ve lost any resemblance of a tag match here as it’s just all insanity. Maybe Heyman is booking the company. Everything just goes insane and this is awesome for once. The Guns dominate as Storm has a beer bottle. The referee gets beer spit in his face as the Guns hit a combination splash/neckbreaker on Roode for two.
There’s another referee here now and I have a bad feeling about this. It’s ALL Guns here as we’re going fast paced here. They hit their kick combination and cover Roode as Storm rolls Sabin up. The referees count a double pin and it’s Dusty Finish time. Earl, not the original referee, says restart it. The Guns win in like a minute with the same thing they did earlier, making the restart TOTALLY POINTLESS. Very good match though so I can’t complain much.
Rating: A-. This was a VERY good match. The main thing holding it back is the restart which was the walking definition of overbooking. What in the world is that supposed to help? Whatever it was I certainly don’t get it. The Guns are the champions, albeit nearly three years later. Still though, if they’re going to win them, at least win them in a classic I guess. Very good match all the way through. Loved it.
We get a collection of comedy moments from over the years, including Shark Boy waking up in a hospital bed, Curry Man rambling and meeting Shark Boy, Eric Young winning a bikini contest, Big Fat Oily Guy, the Aces and 8’s Funeral, Jay Lethal and Flair having a WOO Off, Robbie E. vs. Robbie T. in a Bro Off (E.’s face at the end of T.’s routine still cracks me up), Shark Boy getting fat, Eric Bischoff being dumped in a portable toilet and ODB marrying Eric Young.
17. Impact – July 7, 2010.
This is another moment where they put the wrong date on the show as it was actually July 8. The moment is Jay Lethal’s perfect imitation of Ric Flair which words don’t do justice. He had the voice down and every catchphrase, sending Flair into fits in the ring. Go find this one online because it’s hilarious and all in the way Lethal sounds and just typing it out would ruin the joke.
16. Bound For Glory 2009.
X-Division Title: Suicide vs. Daniels vs. Amazing Red vs. Homicide vs. Chris Sabin vs. Alex Shelley
Ultimate X with Red defending. Red is a guy that was around near the beginning of TNA and did some very impressive flips, earning the adulation of Don West. Don is now managing the champ and was known to climb on the announcers’ table and cheer for him. Sabin and Shelley won a match on the preshow to get in this match. Suicide is a video game character who started appearing on TV, portrayed by Daniels or Kazarian (the latter here). Homicide is part of the World Elite stable, which is a group of international wrestlers, led by Eric Young, who feel they haven’t been treated right.
It’s a mad scramble to the corners to start but no one can get anywhere. Everyone goes after everyone with Homicide getting the biggest advantage by taking down Shelley and diving through the ropes to take out Daniels. Suicide rolls the champion over and dives onto Homicide but the Guns work together to set up a suicide dive on…uh Suicide actually. Red kicks Shelley but gets dropped by Daniels, who goes for a climb. Red isn’t done yet and hurricanranas Daniels onto everyone else in the match.
Back in and Sabin busts out a giant swing on Red but Shelley adds a dropkick to the champ’s head to make it even worse. Daniels attacks both Guns and Homicide goes for a climb, only to have Suicide springboard up to the ropes and make a save, only to get pulled down into a Gringo Cutter. Sabin holds Daniels and Homicide for a top rope double stomp from Shelley.
The Guns continue their control by working over Red but the champion escapes a Doomsday Device with a Sliced Bread #2 instead of a clothesline and takes Sabin down with a hurricanrana. Suicide comes back in but Homicide suplexes him down. Homicide drops the champ and goes up but Daniels pulls him down and nails a Death Valley Driver. Red goes for the ropes but slowly comes back down for some reason, only to go back towards the belt until Suicide pulls him back down.
Now it’s Daniels and Sabin going up and kicking at each other while hanging in the air, eventually knocking each other down for a big crash. Sabin nails a tornado DDT on Daniels and Shelley nails a Sliced Bread #2 on Suicide. We get the Parade of Secondary Finishers, followed by Shelley, Red and Suicide hitting a huge Tower of Doom out of the corner with Suicide taking the worst of it (and kicking Daniels in the face on the way down).
Suicide throws Daniels down but Red kicks him in the face and gets caught by a corkscrew dive. Sabin goes nuts until Suicide kicks him off the top rope. Suicide goes right back up and hits the Flux Capacitor on Sabin, setting up Daniels’ Best Moonsault Ever. Daniels and Suicide climb onto the top of the structure above the cables and Red follows after them.
The fans ask them not to die so Daniels and Suicide tease suplexing each other off. They slap each other until Daniels carefully climbs down onto the X but Suicide does the same and they both fall with Daniels landing on his head. Tazz rightfully shouts CHECK HIM as Red slips down through the treeses as well and grabs the title before someone dies.
Rating: C+. That Daniels bump had me terrified when I saw it live and it doesn’t get any easier here. Thankfully he was ok for the most part. I can’t emphasize how much better this was than last year’s opener with just six men involved. It gives the match a chance to breathe and you can keep track of what’s going on. This was a good opener but the Daniels fall made it hard to sit through at the end.
15. Lockdown 2013.
TNA World Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Bully Ray
In the cage of course with Hardy defending. Tenay says Ray has a 50+ pound weigh advantage about a minute after Ray is announced at 275 to Hardy’s 227. Feeling out process to start with Ray running Hardy over with a hard shoulder. A quick slam gets two for Ray and the champion bails to the corner. Hardy fights back with the Whisper in the Wind for two but can’t escape as Ray rams Hardy’s leg into the cage.
Ray starts a slow and methodical offense by working over the champion’s ribs and back. A big backdrop gets two for Ray but Jeff gets in a shot to earn himself a breather. The Twist and the Bubba Bomb are both countered but the second attempt at the Twist of Fate connects. Cue Wes Brisco and Garrett Bischoff into the cage but Jeff and Bully run them over. Bully lets himself be a springboard for Poetry in Motion before throwing both bikers out.
They slug it out in the middle of the ring with Jeff actually taking over. A flying forearm takes Bully down and there’s a low dropkick for two. Hardy tries to climb out but Ray makes the save and they slug it out on the top rope. Hardy kicks Ray in the head but falls to the mat, allowing Ray to fall off the top onto Jeff for a VERY close two. The Twist staggers Bully but as Jeff goes up, Ray hits a HUGE sitout powerbomb out of the corner to put both guys down.
Ray covers for two and the fans are split. Cue the Hogans to watch the main event from ringside to cheer on Bully. Ray gets to his feet very slowly but here are Aces and 8’s. Ray stands up and has a chain as the bikers come in. To the shock of not many people, Ray is thrown a hammer by D-Von and clubs down Jeff to win the title, revealing himself as the leader at 17:20.
Rating: B-. That powerbomb alone was worth the whole match. The ending isn’t really all that surprising but at least Aces and 8’s have FINALLY done something of note. Bully Ray as world champion of a major company in 2013 is a huge gamble to say the least, but it appears that we’re heading to Hogan vs. Ray down the line. To call that a gamble is an even shorter stretch but it’s what we appear to be getting.
We hear a quick recap from Bully Ray about how the Aces and 8’s plan came together. This really helped tie things together after it didn’t make a lot of sense for months on end.
In some storyline development, we see Shera being tortured in the woods, likely as his way of joining the Revolution.
14. Bound For Glory 2007.
Knockouts Title: Gauntlet Match
This is to crown the inaugural champion. As usual, it’s over the top with one minute intervals for the ten entrants until we get to the final two when it becomes one fall to a finish. Miss Brooks is in at #1 and Jackie Moore is in at #2. Jackie runs Brooks over and knocks her face first onto the mat until Shelley Martinez is in at #3. Brooks goes after Shelley and gets dropped with a reverse DDT for her efforts. Jackie goes after Shelley, allowing Brooks to hit a top rope seated senton on Martinez.
Awesome Kong is in at #4 but takes 55 seconds to get to the ring and can’t do anything. Jackie throws out Brooks and Kong dumps Martines. ODB is in at #5 and also takes her time getting in, allowing Kong to plant Jackie and dump her out. We’re down to ODB vs. Kong and of course ODB starts swinging. Angel Williams is in at #6 as Kong is hammering away on ODB. The girls wisely double team Kong but are quickly suplexed down.
Christy Hemme (looking GREAT) is in at #7 and immediately gets put in a torture rack. Kong slams her down until Gail Kim comes in at #8 with a missile dropkick. Hemme is taken out by medics as the other three gang up on Kong. They finally dump Kong out (and break her top at the same time) as Talia Madison is in at #9. ODB and Gail Kim double team Williams out Roxxi Leveaux is in at #10 so we have a final grouping of Gail, Roxxi, ODB and Talia. Gail throws out Talia and Roxxi dumps ODB to get us to the one on one match.
Roxxi nails her with a forearm to the chest and plants her with a fall away slam for two. The fans are almost entirely behind Gail, as they’ve been since the beginning. An Octopus Hold has Roxxi in trouble but she falls into the ropes. Gail misses a missile dropkick and they trade rollups for two each. Back up and Kim grabs White Noise for the pin and the first title.
Rating: C-. These matches are hard to get into and it would have helped quite a bit if we hadn’t had a battle royal about an hour ago. Kim is a good choice for the first champion and has a built in challenger in Kong, who had some great matches with Gail in the coming months. I do like that she won the title with a pin instead of dumping someone out though. It feels more proper.
13. Impact – March 3, 2011.
Time for the wedding. Eric Young is the ring bearer and Orlando Jordan is the flower girl. Jeff comes out thankfully not to his theme music. Tazz keeps calling Karen by the name Karen Angle. And of course here’s Kurt and the brawl is on. Jeff almost goes into the definitely not ten foot cake. Kurt hits a clothesline and here’s Karen. She slaps Kurt and goes into the cake. Angle’s music plays it out. This whole thing might have lasted two and a half minutes.
Karen says Jeff is a real man and the princess is taken care of. Oh and Kurt didn’t screw her enough apparently. Jeff completes her. The minister announces them as husband and wife through the power vested in him by the department of motor vehicles. The unintentional comedy is helping here. They actually get through the kissing of the bride, so Kurt busts out an ax and starts hacking the set to pieces, all with that creepy grin on his face. That was kind of awesome.
Bischoff sends out New York Jets linebacker Bart Scott. Yes send your celebrity out to the CRAZY MAN WITH AN AXE! Surprisingly enough they go at it and Kurt grabs the ankle lock and cranks on it. Didn’t expect that. Segment went WAY too long but the ending helped it a lot.
12. Impact – October 29, 2014.
TNA World Title: Lashley vs. Bobby Roode
They have a ton of time for this, Lashley is defending and Kurt Angle is guest referee. MVP and King are nowhere in sight. Lashley powers Bobby into the corner to start and easily takes him down with an amateur move. A hard shoulder to the ribs has Roode in even more trouble but Bobby comes back with a clothesline and tells Lashley to bring it on. The champ is all fired up but his clothesline is countered into the Crossface, sending Lashley out to the floor.
We take a break and come back with Lashley holding a reverse wasitlock until Bobby fights up with forearms. A quick Blockbuster gets two but Roode charges into a spinning spinebuster. Lashley ducks another shot but clotheslines Angle (first time he’s meant anything in the match) by mistake. The Roode Bomb is countered and Lashley nails the spear with no one to count the pin. Another spear hits Angle to knock him to the floor, allowing Roode to enziguri Lashley to the floor.
Bobby follows and avoids a spear, sending a ring attendant flying. A Roode Bomb on the ramp puts both guys down but there’s still no Angle to count anything. Instead Brian Hebner comes in to count the near fall and Bobby is frustrated. Lashley hits Roode low and gets the belt but Hebner says no.
That earns him a knockout clothesline, allowing Lashley to hit Roode with the belt. Angle comes in to count two and is finally back to his feet. The Roode Bomb is countered and Lashley snaps Bobby’s throat across the top rope. Another attempt is countered into a sunset flip attempt but Roode falls on top for the pin and the title at 17:49.
Rating: B. The match got going near the middle but I really don’t see why Angle needed to be out there. Any regular referee could have played his role to the same degree but maybe they’re setting up Lashley vs. Angle down the line? The important part though is Roode being made into a bigger deal than he was before, but now he needs to have a very solid title reign to make it even better. TNA is really needing a top face and if Roode is that guy then so be it.
11. Bound For Glory 2011.
Hulk Hogan vs. Sting
Bischoff’s son is referee. Sting is insane here and wears a Hulkamania shirt to the ring. Hulk is in street clothes. The bell rings and here comes Flair as we keep looking at Dixie Carter in the front row. Sting grabs a headlock to start but Hogan shoves him away and Hulks Up. That gets Hogan a crotch chop so Hulk punches him down and puts on a chinlock. Sting gets sent outside but is quickly back inside to have his back and eyes raked.
Hogan throws him outside for low blows and chops from Flair before Hulk starts biting at Sting’s forehead. The beating goes on for awhile until they head back inside where Flair slips Hogan a foreign object. The shots bust Sting open but Sting comes back with right hands. He stops the beating and goes after Flair, stealing the foreign object to cut Hogan open as well. A pair of Stinger Splashes set up the Scorpion Deathlock and Hogan gives up, forcing referee Jackson James to call for the bell.
Rating: D+. This one would fall under the category of “what else were you expecting?” At the end of the day, TNA basically exists to make Sting look good so this really shouldn’t be a surprise. Someone young probably should have gotten the rub from Hogan, but Sting clearly needed this spot instead right?
Immortal comes out to destroy Sting with chairs as Abyss is shown watching from behind the curtain. Jackson James takes one of them away, turning face about an hour and fifteen minutes after he turned heel. Bischoff hits him with a chair, starting the most unwanted face push in the history of ever.
Sting crawls over to Hogan and begs for help, because if there’s one thing more important than making Sting look good, it’s making Hogan look good. Hogan makes the big face turn and helps Sting clean house, because two bloody guys in their 50s beating up about seven guys armed with chairs makes perfect sense. Posing ensues and of course the old WWF crowd eats it up. It’s a cool segment for the moment, but this was basically all about Hogan and Sting instead of doing anything for TNA long term.
Overall Rating: B. The show was entertaining due to having some excellent wrestling, but let’s recap that ending real fast: the big moment that you end the show on is two guys in their 50s who currently work for WWE. They couldn’t have swapped this with #12 so that the last thing we see is the reigning World Champion standing tall after vanquishing an unstoppable beast? It was really necessary that we had to show Sting and Hogan at the end of the show?
The show as a whole was good enough, but I would have liked to see some stuff from the old days. There had to be some great stuff in there, but maybe they’re saving those for next week. I really hope this doesn’t turn into the best since the Hogan Era began, because there are some gems from back in the day that have just been forgotten over the years.
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Tribute to the Troops 2014: Our Long National Marathon Is Over
Tribute to the Troops 2014 Date: December 17, 2014
Location: Columbus Civic Center, Columbus, Georgia
Attendance: 17,000
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole
It’s that special time of year when WWE gets to put in very little effort and bang their chests to brag about how amazing they are for doing something for the troops. Ignore the fact that they no longer go across the world to do these shows or even hold them in a military base anymore and enjoy meaningless matches, unnecessary musical performances and recorded cameos by celebrities who aren’t actually appearing in person. Did I mention this show has lost its shine for me in the last few years? Let’s get to it.
Will Ferrell, the Osbornes, Rachel Maddow, the Muppets, Michael Strahan, Kelly Ripa, Aaron Rogers, Bruce Willis, Stephen Colbert, a bunch of wrestlers and celebrities that I either don’t recognize or go too fast to type love the troops.
Here’s Hulk Hogan with an American flag, walking between some troops to open the show. Really, is there anyone else that should be doing something like this? He talks about how great it is to live in this country but gets cut off by Miz and Mizdow (minus Slammys and titles). Miz says you’re welcome to everyone here for portraying a marine in his signature role. When you think pillar of strength of the military, you think Miz.
This brings out John Cena to apologize for Miz, who is either drunk or has amnesia. When Cena thinks of toughness, he thinks of the armed forces. When he thinks of Miz, it’s something a whole lot more metrosexual. Like Ryan Seacrest for example. The Miz compares himself to Bob Hope and says dying children ask people to win one for the Miz. Cena of course doesn’t believe it and polls the fans on whether or not Miz is a big deal.
Miz laughs it off and says that it’s Hogan in the ring with Miz instead of him being in the ring with Hogan. He brings up the Wrestlemania XXVII loss and says he played a more convincing soldier than Cena ever could. The brawl is on and Mizdow ie left alone for his team. He mimes getting beaten up by Cena and dives over the ropes on his own in a funny bit.
This brings out Team Authority minus Rusev but plus Big Show because even specials need to have long opening segments. The beatdown is on but Ryback, Rowan and Ziggler come out for the save. Team Cena and Hogan stand tall in an actual feel good moment. Hogan has been the Real American for over thirty years and you have to have him here for something like this.
Angelina Jolie loves the troops and plugs her new movie Unbroken.
Goldust/Stardust vs. Usos
Goldust talks trash to Jey to start and eats an uppercut for his efforts. Off to Stardust who gets punched in the face as well before it’s off to Jimmy for a slam. Goldust gets in a cheap shot from the apron but Jimmy stops to dance. The Usos knock the Dusts to the floor for some big dives as we take a break. Back with Jey being sent to the floor for a stomping from Stardust as Cole talks about how amazing Fort Benning is.
Stardust works on an armbar before kicking Jey in the face for two. Goldust gets the same off a powerslam and we hit the chinlock. Jey fights up and makes the hot tag to his brother for some house cleaning. The Umaga attack stuns Stardust and the enziguri sends Goldust to the floor. There’s a big dive from Jey but Jimmy takes the Disaster Kick for two. Jimmy pops back up with a corkscrew dive for two more. Jey superkicks Stardust down and the double superkick sets up Superfly Splashes for the stereo pin at 10:38.
Rating: C. The match was fine but it’s the same one we’ve seen half a dozen times now. The Usos continue to have great rhythm together which you can only find in actual brothers. The Dusts on the other hand are still falling apart, even though they’re staying sharp in the ring. I’d assume we’ll get to the split eventually, which I don’t hate as much as I used to.
Lester Holt loves the troops.
The cast of the Voice loves the troops.
Florida Georgia Line performs.
Tom Brokaw loves the troops.
Divas Battle Royal
All of the Divas are here in either Christmas themed attire or at least a Santa hat. It’s a brawl to start with Emma quickly being eliminated. Rosa and Summer have a dance off as the rest of the match just stops. Thankfully they get together and eliminate the pair but Cameron stops to check her compact. Naomi takes it away and holds it out, making Cameron stop to look at herself again, giving Naomi the easy elimination.
The Bellas throw Alicia out, leaving us with the Bellas, Paige, Naomi and Natalya. Paige busts out some mistletoe but the Bellas kick her to the floor. Naomi tries to jump over Nikki in the corner but gets planted with an Alabama Slam. Brie eliminates herself by missing a baseball slide, allowing Naomi to dump the other two out for the win at 3:45.
Rating: D+. This is there so the girls can look good in their outfits and nothing more. It wasn’t entertaining for the most part but thankfully they kept this very short. This is a tradition for the show and at the end of the day, it’s one of those things there for the fans and nothing more.
Video of the roster visiting the troops.
Sgt. Slaughter tells us to stick around.
Dean Ambrose vs. Bray Wyatt
This is a Boot Camp match, meaning a military themed street fight. Sgt. Slaughter does the introductions for old times’ sake. Ambrose comes out in a camouflage hat to really suck up to the fans. It’s a brawl to start of course with Dean hitting his dropkick against the ropes. Bray comes back with a slam as we’re waiting on the weapons to come into play. Dean comes back with what looked like a bulldog to send Bray outside, setting up the suicide dive.
They head to the camouflaged posts before Dean hits him with what looked like a tool box. Since there aren’t enough weapons in the ring, Dean goes underneath to find some chairs, one of which he wedges in the corner. Bray comes back with a kendo stick shot and hammers away on Dean’s ribs. Some right hands get two on Ambrose as the announcers debate G.I. Joes.
We take a break and come back with Dean fighting out of a cravate but eating a right hand to the face. A big kendo stick shot gets two and Bray slowly kicks away. Bray misses a big shot though and Dean takes the stick away. Wyatt seems to like the idea but doesn’t like the beating Ambrose gives him as much. A White Russian legsweep and middle rope elbow with the chair get two for Dean so he starts looking for more toys. He picks a table but takes too long setting it up, allowing Bray to Rock Bottom Ambrose through the table for two.
Wyatt busts out another table but stops to get in Slaughter’s face, allowing Dean to get a breather. Slaughter takes off his boot as Dean comes back with the rebound clothesline. The steel toed boot comes into the ring and goes upside Bray’s head to knock him onto the table. Dean heads up top for the elbow through the table for the pin at 14:30.
Rating: C+. This was violent enough to be entertaining but the gimmick was just there to tie things together. In other words, this was a basic street fight with nothing special other than the last spot of the match. Nothing much to see here, but these two have done so much that it’s hard to find something new.
We recap the opening segment.
Jamie Fox and Cameron Diaz love the troops and plug their new movie Annie.
The Kardashians love the troops.
Here are Lana and Rusev to what should be better heat. She says the fans are lucky to be in the presence of the greatest US Champion of all time to make them a bit angrier. The fans shout Rusev down with the USA chant so Lana puts up the Putin photo. She issues something like an open challenge and here’s Daniel Bryan to interrupt and fire up the crowd all over again.
Bryan says the thing the Russians don’t understand about Americans is that they never back down. It doesn’t matter if you’re 5’5 like Bryan (that’s a bit low) or 7’2, Democrat or Republican, we fight no matter what. If Rusev and Lana don’t like that, they should go back to Russia. Lana laughs him off and Rusev invites Bryan out to the floor. Daniel asks if Rusev wants to do all this right in front of the troops. The thing about Americans is they’ll come from anywhere to defend their freedoms. A few troops start jumping the barricade and two repel from the ceiling to surround Rusev. Bryan gets in the ring but Rusev bails.
The vast of the Today Show loves the troops.
Larry the Cable Guy loves the troops.
Florida Georgia Line performs again.
Team Cena goes over their game plan (an actual piece of paper labeled “game plan”).
Video on Hire Heroes.
Ryback/John Cena/Erick Rowan/Dolph Ziggler vs. Kane/Luke Harper/Big Show/Seth Rollins
Ryback and Rollins get things going with Seth being powered back into the corner. We hit the wristlock on Rollins before it’s off to Rowan for a big (red) slam. The good guys keep their control until Seth decks Ziggler with a right hand. Dolph is able to escape a delayed suplex from Harper though and tags in Ryback for a delayed suplex of his own, complete with FEED ME MORE, for two. Ziggler comes back in with a dropkick but it’s off to Rollins to take over again. The running DDT gets a quick two on Seth but everything breaks down with the bad guys standing tall as we take a break.
Back with Big Show throwing Ziggler around before it’s off to Kane. The announcers talk about Kane attacking the Bunny with JBL talking about how great a moment it was. Instead of letting the potential new fans say “what are they talking about? That sounds kind of interesting.”, Cole is right there to explain that it’s just a guy in a bunny suit to kill the idea dead.
Rollins comes back in and stomps away but Ziggler gets in a shot and DIVES over for the tag to Cena. Harper comes in as well to take the finishing sequence but Rollins breaks up the AA attempt. Kane breaks up the STF and it’s secondary finishers a go-go. The AA plants Show and Cena AA’s Harper onto Big show, but makes sure to shove Show out of the way so he can pin Harper at 13:37.
Rating: D+. You know, they almost had me here. They had me buying into this for just a second but then I lost the little hope I had. I can’t believe it, but for a second I thought Big Show might actually do a job here. Thankfully reality set in as Cena made sure to shove Big Show out of the way after the AA and having Harper land on him so harper could take the pin. I was getting worried there for a second.
Hogan comes out to celebrate to end the show.
Overall Rating: D+. I didn’t get as annoyed with this show as I have in the past but it’s still not really necessary. Back in the day when the actually went to Iraq and Afghanistan, the show felt like something special and unique. Now it feels like a star (pre-recorded cameo) studded house show with four matches and little effort. It also doesn’t help that this makes eleven hours (counting Sunday’s pre-show) of WWE in four days. If you watch all the shows like WWE implores you to do, the burnout hit somewhere around the middle of Smackdown last night. The show wasn’t bad, but it came and went and I won’t think of it again.
Results
Usos b. Goldust/Stardust – Double Superfly Splash
Naomi won a battle royal last eliminating Natalya
Dean Ambrose b. Bray Wyatt – Top rope elbow through a table
John Cena/Erick Rowan/Dolph Ziggler/Ryback b. Big Show/Luke Harper/Kane/Seth Rollins – Attitude Adjustment to Harper
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